#my mom came from brazil 2 years ago

[hshouse]

Hi!

I’m sorry if this is tmi and you don’t have to answer if you don’t feel comfortable of course, but you mentioned your mom lives with you and I was wondering how you afford rent (or do you own?) in NYC while being in grad school. I guess you graduated now but I’m assuming you live in the same apartment during grad

Thanks!!!

Hi bby,

I def do not own ☠️☠️☠️☠️ so I’m very lucky to have gotten my academics paid by scholarships, so my mom has been kind enough to help top off the rest (which is mostly rent) for these 3 years (in college my housing was part of my scholarship!!! good days). But I try to gather as much as it as I can. I had 2.5 months in my job last summer which I was really well paid so that paid for at least like 10 months of the 36 months. My job also gave me an advance to pay for stuff between graduation and first day of work (may-oct) so that is paying for another chunk of months. But I’m veryyyyy lucky to have a mom willing to basically empty out her life savings for me to get through these 3 years (and in an apartment that does not make me want to die). I will pay it all back (I have a detailed spreadsheet of every cent she has given me for education/living since HS) 🥰

[mrs-santoss]

Love at First Sight - Neymar Imagine - Chapter Eleven FINAL

Summary: 

Y/N is scared to fall in love. She fell once, and it was a nightmare. She can’t risk it again. But, this lucky boy manages to steal her heart, but unfortunately, manages to break it at the same time. What will Y/Ns decisions be?

Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6 , Chapter 7 , Chapter 8 , Chapter 9 , Chapter 10

I could hear everything, but I was unable to open my eyes. I remember screaming, pain, Neymar's cries, my mom's cries, I could even hear the doctors saying I won't be able to make it. I gather all my strength to open my eyes. I was in a hospital bed and It was dark. The only light was coming from two small lamps on the table in front of me. I felt a hand on top of mine, it was warm. I looked down to see Neymar laying his head next to my hand, holding it loose, indicating he was asleep. I suddenly remembered why I'm here. "MY BABY!" Neymar jumped up and looked at me. He held my arms down while I was trying to get out of bed, panicking. "Y/N, It's okay. Calm down, meu amor. Hey-" "NEY, WHERE IS MY BABY? WHY ISN'T SHE HERE?" I kept yelling and began crying. I was in tremendous pain, but my mother instincts were kicking in, making me forget about the pain. Neymar cupped my cheeks and sat down next to me on the hospital bed. "Bebê, she's okay. She's healthy. The nurses have her, they will bring here in shortly. Calm down, meu amor." Those words worked like an "off" button for me. My baby was okay, she made it. I smiled through the tears, hugging Neymar. He pulled out of the hug quickly to look at me. "Y/N how are you feeling? Are you in any pain?" "Yes, a little. What happened, Ney? How did I end up here?" "You had some complications that obligated us to come here. The labor went okay, there's doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you or our daughter, our Y/D/N." after he said that, I felt a rush of happiness. It is finally over. We hear a knock on the door and the nurse comes in holding the most important creature in the world for us. The second she placed her on me, I felt a radiation on my chest. It's like my daughter was speaking to me, saying that everything is okay and she's safe. It felt like life finally had a meaning. Even though she was born a few hours ago, I can already tell she has Ney's features. I hold her close to my face and smell her. It's crazy how yesterday she was inside of me, and now I'm holding her. There's a knock on the door, Davi comes inside and runs towards me. Neymar's family and my family come in after him. Davi gives me a quick hug and I pat the empty spot next to me, letting him know he can sit there. "Hey, honey. This is your brother, Davi. Hii, Davi!!" "She's so little. What's her name?" Davi asks and pets YD/N's blanket wrapped around her. "Her name is Y/D/N. Do you like it, amor?" "Yes, I do. I will take care of her as a big brother." said Davi, making me and Neymar awe, Ney hugs him.

I interact with all the family members, but I kindly ask them for some quiet time, since the pain was getting worse. Neymar and Davi stayed with me in the room. The doctor came over to check on me and gave me something for the pain. I fell asleep with Ney, Davi and Y/D/N close to me. _____________________________________ "Davi, honey. Can you see from there?" "Yes, Y/N. When does the game start?" "They will come out in a couple of minutes." I was with Davi and Davi's mom and my one year old daughter Y/D/N watching Ney play for Brazil. I sat on the row behind Davi and Carolina. It was a very important game, Brazil was playing for Copa América. It was also my first time bringing our daughter to a game, so I was a bit nervous. "I can't wait for her to grow up and come to watch me play" said Neymar while rocking our baby to sleep. "Me too amor, she will be your biggest fan, after me of course"

The player got on the field, the first thing Neymar did was look for us. When he spotted us, he blew kisses and smiled at us and mouthed " eu te amo". During our conversation before the game, he seemed very nervous about this game, I prayed that this doesn't distract him. Neymar managed to score after 20 minutes. We all jumped on our feet celebrating. During his celebration, Neymar went to the nearest camera and did a heart shape with his hands and kissed his new tattoo.

"Amor, I have a surprise for you, close your eyes"

"Ney, It better not be any of your stupid pranks, don't make me scream because Y/D/N is sleeping" I said to him and followed him to the couch.

"Don't worry, amor. You'll love it, cause I do."

He helped me sit on the couch with my eyes closed and I could feel him sit next to me. He kissed my lips for a second making me jump a little and told me to open my eyes. He had a new tattoo on his arm. There was a pair of eyes, my eyes. He looked at me for my reaction. It made me smile and loved. I kissed his lips and pulled away to look at him. To stare into each other's eyes like we always do. This has to be the most meaningful tattoo. "I love it, Ney. I love you"

I blew a kiss at him and yelled 'I love you' at the top of my lungs, making Y/D/N look at me weirdly but still continue to clap, mimicking everyone's actions. The game went on, until the 120th minute. The other team had managed to score after Ney, tying the score. It all came down to penalties. This has to be the most stressful thing in Neymar's life. I'm not even the one playing and I began to sweat. I know how much this means to him. The other team missed their 5th penalty, Neymar was about to shoot the 5th one. If he scores, we win. The pressure is unreal. He approaches the ball slowly, praying. He kissed the ball before putting it on the ground. And...he scored, Brazil won. I began crying and hugging everyone. Neymar ran to his teammates and celebrated with them. Before the cup ceremony, all the family members of the players went down on the field, including us. Davi took Y/D/N from my arms and ran towards Neymar, me and Carolina followed them. Neymar picked up our daughter kissing her before kissing Davi and hugging both of them tight.

I went to see Neymar play for the first time after I gave birth. I was excited to watch him play after a long pause. Neymar scored a goal a his celebration was the biggest surprise of my life. He untied a white band from his hand, making it flat and showing it to the camera. There was a text, written in black marker saying "Will you be Mrs.Santos?"

"Congratulations, amor. I'm so proud of you" I kissed him and hugged him tightly, Carolina did the same. "Thank you, bebê. I'm so glad you're all here, everyone." "Congratulations, Ney. You did a good job" said Carolina and kissed him on the cheek. Their relationship is so good and healthy, I like that a lot. They never let Davi feel uncomfortable or sad about their situation. "Thank you, honey" said Ney and we let him go back to his teammates to receive the cup after that. During our ride home, it was just me Y/D/N and Ney in the car. Davi and his mom left with his dad. Neymar held my hand during the whole ride, kissing it and we sang at the top of our lungs. I'm so glad I accepted the job. I'm so glad I moved to France. I'm so glad I went to that party. I'm so glad I gave our relationship a second chance. Now, we are the happiest we've ever been. We have our family, our home and a very long future ahead of us. I would've never thought that we would end up here in 3 years, but I wouldn't change a single it about our journey.

I looked at him and smiled. I remembered our first interaction. Even though it's been years, It always managed to make me smile, it always will.

"Hi, I'm Neymar. Nice to meet you!" he says to me, and extends his hand.

"Hello, Neymar. I'm Y/N, the new medical team assistant. Nice to meet you too!" I say back to him and I smile. He can tell my hand is shaking from the emotions, so he gives my hand a light squeeze before he releases it.

"I guess you will be seeing this guy in your office a lot then. Aahahaha!" this other guy says, making everyone laugh and approaches me.

"Hi, I'm Kylian. Nice to meet you, do you speak French?" he shakes my hand and asks.

"Hi, Kylian. Nice to meet you too. Yes, I do." I say the last part in french.

There's one last guy left to meet me from the three of them. As he's reaching to shake my hand. Neymar says to him in a low volume "she's extremely beautiful, oh,my god." in Portuguese. He responds back to him "yes, she is." and then turns his head to me and shakes my hand.

"Hi, I'm Thiago. Nice to meet you" he says to me in a broken English. I shake his hand.

"Hi, Thiago. Nice to meet you too. You can always talk to me in Portuguese." I say back to him and smile, I look at Neymar when I say "Portuguese" because a want to see his reaction of me understanding what he said a few seconds before. He looked shocked and started turning red immediately. Thiago starts laughing and explains the thing to a curious Kylian. The all laugh together aside from Neymar who's still a bit shocked.

A tear rolled down my eye. I didn't even bother to wipe it. It was a tears of joy. Neymar looked at me at smiled, reaching to wipe my tears. I took a hold of his hand again and squeezed it tighter this time. "Ney?" "Yes, amor." "I love you with all my heart, I'm so glad you're a part of my life." "I love you, too, meu amor. I will always be by your side, no matter where, how or when. Thank you for everything you've done for me so far. I promise to always put a smile on your face, even during rainy days, just like in our vows. I will always stare into your eyes, even during my last breath. I love you"

-END-

[aroundthe-fer]

Hello fellow bloggers, my name is Fernanda but I always just go by Fer, and an interesting fact about me is that I moved from Brazil to the United States 5 years ago, in 2019.

After some research, I discovered many interesting aspects about the artist James Turrell and his artwork, Aten Reign.

1-His first exhibition in NYC in almost 35 years was Aten Reign.

2-Turrell has been working on a celestial light observatory located in Arizona since the 1970’s.

3-The Aten Reign installation was composed of colored lights and holographs that produced astonishing optical illusions.

4-James Turrell has dedicated his life to creating art involving lights and holograms and investigating the materiality of light.

5-His main goal with this Aten Reign artwork was to test and transform the experience of seeing, meaning that he wanted to see how far he could go using lights to produce illusions.

The first time I looked at Aten Reign, I thought it was a painting. I really liked the colors and the shapes. After research, I found out that the artwork is only composed of lights and holograms, which came as a shock to me, as it looks like there are many different shapes and colors. I was also able to understand why his life goal had been to investigate the materiality of light because after this, I can see that there are infinite ways to create illusions and messages just by using light as art.

This is a picture of a painting that has been in my life for the past 6-8 years. My mom decided (back in Brazil) that we needed more art around our house, so she paid an artist that she knew to paint her a big canvas for our living room. After we moved to America, we lived in two different apartments before we moved to the house we currently live now, and as soon as we moved my mom shipped the painting from Brazil to here, and it has been on our hallway ever since. The painting was created by an underground artist known as Krambeck. It was based of a picture my mom found on a magazine years ago (sadly I couldn’t find a picture of it since it was so long ago), and she asked for those particular colors. It is oil in canvas and has been in perfect condition for years.

My whole name is Fernanda Augusto Razera. Fernanda is a very common name in Brazil, Augusto is my mother’s maiden name and is very common in Portugal, while my other last name Razera, is a common Italian last name. I am nineteen years old, and I was born and raised in Brazil for fourteen years of my life, when my parents decided to move to a different country with a different language, at first I had a lot of trouble when speaking, but writing has always been the easiest part. My favorite things to do on my free time are going thrifting, sewing, painting, and spending time with my boyfriend. I currently have two jobs, I’m a barista at Starbucks, and a Baker for target. A couple of things that define who I am are, my blue hair (always a different color but blue at the moment) my brazilian accent, my style, my music taste and my sense of humor.

[horanghaechan]

LOVER (M.G) - Chapter 2

pairing: Michael Gray x original female character chapter: 2 pov: written in 3rd person genre: ‘rivals to lovers’, romance, mature content/smut, fluffy? warnings: S3 spoilers, non canon stuff. main character is BRAZILIAN therefore, there are references to 1920's brazil. keep in mind that the world at that time wasn't like the world we live nowadays, so there are offensive behaviours along the story. read at your own risk. english is not my first language, so any mistakes please tell me <3 disclaimer: this is the english translation of my portuguese fic 'Lover', based on Taylor Swift songs and Peaky Blinders S1-S3. This is PURE fanfiction.

London, England, 1924

The Barbosa Veloso Alighieri de Resende family arrived in London for Tommy Shelby’s wedding. Maria Clara was excited because, after two years, she could finally show her parents and brothers that she had become a ‘businesswoman’… Of course, within 1920’s proportions. And just like Michael, Marie was also named a Blinder (something she’d have to hide from them at all costs). She didn’t venture into any of the gang’s services, but wherever she went, everyone knew she was under their protection.

“Marie, they can stay here instead of paying for a hotel.” Ada suggested for the fourth time. “It won’t be any hassle! The house is huge enough and it’s just Karl and I.”

“No, no.” Maria Clara refused. “I prefer my parents far away. The reason they came is more than enough! When Mama sets eyes on the boys, her personality will change.” She laughed, though worried. “Single men and matchmaking mothers can’t cross paths, especially when they’re still furious that you call off an engagement.”

“That was two years ago!”

“She didn’t get over it.” Marie laughed. “And since Robert remains single, it pains her even more.”

“What about you, dear? Have you gotten over it?”

“Of course, I did!” She nodded, finishing her tea. “I am much happier in Birmingham than I’d ever be here with Robert. I just need my mom to understand that I haven’t given up on marriage, it’s just that I don’t want to do it yet.” Marie looked out the window. “The Shelby Company needs me in complete freedom.”

“Well, that’s true.” Ada agreed.

Before they could continue their conversation, Ada’s doorbell rang. Maria Clara didn’t know who Ada was waiting for, but she had a wild guess. Tommy was in London to meet with Churchill, then he would meet with other people to resolve matters that did not belong exclusively to the Shelby Co..

Turns out the person who arrived wasn’t Tommy, it was Polly. The woman had just left the seamstress, as it was her last fitting before the wedding... And right next to her, there was Michael. He entered the room as if he owned the place and gave Maria Clara a smug smile before lighting a cigarette.

“Really, Michael?” She rolled her eyes.

Most people avoided smoking around Marie, but Michael… The abnormally handsome asshole… He made sure of it whenever they met.

He almost used her as an ashtray, even.

“Michael, watch your manners.” Polly warned. “Hi, Ada. Marie, dear.” She gave them a small smile. “Excited for the family reunion?”

It was clear that Polly looked distressed. Ever since meeting Marie, she’d felt something close to motherly affection, mostly because the pain of knowing Anna was dead was still there. Since Michael and her were the same age, and Tommy put them in the same department doing stuff together, Polly couldn’t help but imagine her as a second daughter. She was not Anna’s replacement, but a new one, so she’d have another chance to be a mother and to do everything she couldn’t with Anna.

Marie was also very fond of Polly, as well. Everyone said that she was not easily friendly, but the Brazilian had won all her affection in the blink of an eye.

The downside was dealing with Michael.

She didn’t know what had taken hold of him, but since Tommy started relating her to accounting and business meetings, Michael had changed. He became stupid, conceited, and unbearably controlling. It seemed that his greatest pleasure in life was to destroy any trace of good humour in her, to make her feel like an intruder or not worthy of the position.

“Not much, to be honest.” Maria Clara chuckled.

“One can imagine.” Polly nodded.

“She’s too busy with the Shelby Company to feel anything.” Michael’s deep and husky voice caught her attention.

“An outburst of compliments every time you talk to me, Michael!” Marie poured herself more tea, blinking quickly to feign naiveness.

“Merely returning the favour, Lady Marie.” He mocked her. “Why don’t you let me, a mere mortal, serve you? Do you want sugar? Warm milk? How many shortbread cookies?”

Polly giggled.

“You two bicker like little children.” She sat next to Marie. “And when do your parents arrive in England?”

“They’re already here. We’ll dine tonight with the Pearsons, much to Mama’s dismay.”

“Don’t blame her. I’d also be eager to see Michael married, but the more I ask him to do something, the more committed he is to do the opposite.”

Maria Clara kept her eyes fixed on her mug.

Comments like that shouldn’t make her heart swell in sheer panic, but they did. She wondered how she’d react when Michael finally got married... It was most likely going to be one of the worst days of her life. Of course, not that always seeing him with some random girl around Birmingham was any less painful, especially if she was Charlotte.

In fact, wouldn’t Tommy get him some penalization for disrupting Shelby’s work schedule? Why did Michael have to go to the office with her?!

Didn’t he own a goddamn house?!

Ada came back with whiskey and another set of tea. While serving the new guests, she asked about Polly’s dress and how the wedding preparations were going.

The entrance to the Pearson mansion remained the same. Maria Clara felt a thousand times freer walking through the arch than she’d felt almost three years ago. Escorted by her father, who beamed with delight after seeing her again, it finally downed her how much her life had changed since 1921.

The whole reception was a little torturous. Her mother kept making embarrassing remarks about the ‘unfortunate end of their children’s engagement’ and how the house would’ve appealed to Marie’s taste.

Oh, the matchmaking mothers...

“I’m so glad you managed to arrive early to spend some time in London.” Mrs. Pearson touched her mom’s hand, smiling. “Did Mr. Shelby allowed you to rest, Marie?”

“Yes, he seems to be a little more relaxed these days.” Marie nodded, reaching for a glass of champagne. “I think he isn’t really feeling the pre-wedding anxiety.”

“Men tend to feel the moment differently, yes.” Her mother commented. “Her brothers took a lot of time to assimilate what was happening.” She laughed softly.

“When I got married, I knew exactly when Simon noticed what he had done: it was at the altar, before speaking the vows.” Golda grinned, looking at Mr. Pearson.

Maria Clara regretted having started the subject, for she had given her mother an opportunity to make lots of ‘points’ about her single life. Focusing on her nails, she tried her best to endure it. Distracted, she didn’t notice the butler entering with two more guests.

Robert, who was talking to his former brothers-in-law, widened his eyes at the sight of the two familiar faces. He still didn’t know how to behave around those men who had seen his most humiliating days first-row. His father obviously didn’t consider him important enough to notify him that he’d added other people at the reception.

Mr. Pearson introduced the duo to João Antônio and Pedro Henrique, since Mr. Barbosa already knew them. Robert tried really hard to look unbothered, but he was sure his slight stutter and nervous laughter gave him away. Until then, their mother hadn’t met Tommy Shelby, but his charming blue eyes did a great job at bewitching her... Mrs. Pearson was now giggling and fanning her face exaggeratedly. Mrs. Barbosa maintained her haughty posture until Tommy kissed her hand, getting swept up by his nice manners.

Marie was able to hide her surprise when she saw them. However, her cheeks flared when, in an attempt to greet Michael, they went in the same direction and their faces stopped inches apart. She could’ve sworn someone in the room had gasped. Embarrassedly, she reached out and ignored the shiver as she felt Michael’s touch in a tight grip.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming, Tommy?”

“Because I wasn’t sure.” He reached for a cigarette. “Mr. Pearson said your dad was already here, and they’d like to seize the opportunity and revise some contracts.”

“I see.” She nodded. “I hope Churchill’s meeting was promising.”

If Maria Clara hadn’t been so used to Tommy’s cold and distant posture, she’d never have noticed the barely-there grin he wore.

“I have a task for you and Michael, but we’ll talk about it later.” He exhaled.

There were eight dishes in total. By the end of the sixth, Marie was so full, but kept eating and drinking. She avoided looking two chairs in Robert’s left. She knew Michael was talking to Pedro, and as much as her mother and Mrs. Pearson babbled nonstop, she could still catch glimpses of the men’s conversation: apple farming (growing fruit trees, orchards and so on). Well, for a boy who’d lived part of his life in a rural village, she figured Michael understood something about it. And Pedro, following their father’s main hobby, was extremely interested in agriculture.

“Tereza sent a letter.” João Antônio commented only for her to hear. “Eduarda also wrote it, they sent some photos too. I hope you can answer before we return to Brazil.”

“Of course I will!” Marie smiled excitedly. “It’s such a pity they didn’t come.”

“I promised that we’ll be back here when Eduarda turns fifteen.”

“But that’s almost ten years away!” She grimaced. “I’d like to see my niece before I get covered in wrinkles, you know?! How were the photos they sent?”

“I don’t know, they didn’t let me see.” João laughed. “They said it was a surprise for you and that I lacked emotional knowledge to be moved by their content.”

“My, my!” Marie wanted to laugh, but she held back. The last thing she needed was to attract her mother’s attention again and get her reminded that her siblings were already married while she ‘turned’ into a spinster.

“All I know is that there is one of Rui Patrício, especially for you.”

She grinned in pure mirth and joy. She couldn’t imagine the effort it took to make their stubborn toucan remain quiet during the photoshoot.

Mr. Pearson stood up, indicating that it was time for the brandy. That is, with a full stomach, the men would retire to the office, smoke a cheroot, stuff themselves with alcohol and “discuss business”. Maria Clara should be used to this by now, but after two years of learning and participating in the affairs of the Shelby Co., she wished her father could see her in action… Even if it was in an informal negotiation.

Powerless, she remained in her place.

±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±

Esme was the last to get out of the car, and Marie helped her with the kids. John and Arthur were at the church door, smiling and cracking some dirty jokes. After assigning each other to their respective seats, Maria Clara returned to the entrance, this time to wait for her own family.

They had spent a great week in London, although she couldn’t show all her development as a businesswoman. Nonetheless, he was happy. Her father had praised her when she helped him fill in some documents, and he found her hunch about the export of cachaça very interesting. Perhaps, over the course of that year, she could prove her worth — to both him and Michael. And speaking of the demon, he soon showed up as if conjured.

Ridiculously handsome in a dark-blue suit.

Hell, wasn’t there a day he looked like a normal human being?!

“If I were you, I wouldn’t try to catch the bouquet.” Michael commented, approaching her with lazy strides.

“Are you afraid of competition?”

“I’m scared for your future husband’s sanity, to be honest.”

“Don’t bother. He’s sure to have a better life than your future wife.” Marie lifted her chin haughtily. “That is, if you ever manage to catch one.”

“What are you two arguing about? Isaiah wedged himself between them.

“Michael is afraid of my stealing his bouquet.” She smiled wickedly.

“Oh, I do hope for that!” Isaiah briefly looked at his friend. “I already have a speech prepared to ask for your hand, Marie. My father will celebrate it for free!” He winked, his attention back at her. “Then, we’ll go to Brazil, start our family and raise our children on a beautiful farm that was a gift from your brothers, and we’ll visit the beach once a month.”

“You have everything figured out... Better than Robert ever did.” Maria Clara couldn’t help but laugh. “I promise I’ll do my best to catch it, then.”

“For fuck sakes, shut up!” Michael grumbled, rolling his eyes. “If her mother hears this, she won’t leave you alone.”

“Yeah, he’s right about that.” She looked down the dirty road. “I didn’t feel like a spinster, but Mama makes it sound like I’m being sentenced to death.”

“It’s times like these I love being a man.” Isaiah straightened his suit.

“Where’s your flower?” Marie frowned. “You should be wearing it, Isaiah.”

“I didn’t know where to put it, so I kept it in my pocket.” Removing the crumpled garment, he handed it to her. “I don’t think it’s going to nice to wear it, though.”

“Don’t worry, I know how to fix it.” Pulling some petals off, she made the plant look more presentable... Slightly ‘shy’ next to the others, but presentable.

Michael sighed, taking his own flower and starting to tear it apart like Isaiah’s. He didn’t understand how Maria Clara managed to get him so off track that his actions mirrored a child’s tantrum, like Karl’s or Charles’, however, there he was, holding back so as not to make unpleasant comments and disrupt her good mood.

“What’s your problem?!” Marie roared.

“I didn’t want Isaiah to feel left out with a limp flower.” He raised an eyebrow, the green globes glowing in defiance and derision.

“Good God,” She let out a breath. “I don’t have the energy to deal with you today.” She turned to Isaiah, smoothing his tie and smiling humourlessly, then went inside.

Michael felt Isaiah’s reproachful gaze on him, but he remained looking at the road.

“There was no need for that, Micky.”

“Don’t even start, mate.” He crossed his arms.

The ceremony was beautiful, but the party was better. Maria Clara joined Ada and Polly, while Grace received the greetings from other guests. There was something going on among the Blinders, because most of them were quietly withdrawing, and when Tommy walked away, too, Marie knew it was serious.

She tried not to worry. Despite being impulsive, those boys were smart enough and would know how to keep the situation under control... At least until the reception was over.

Charlotte was in a corner with a few friends, all giggling. What did Michael like about her? Marie always wondered. Her neck was a little too long, her eyes weren’t steady, the way she held her posture indicated someone unkempt, her hair looked like it hadn’t been styled in a few days and… Marie was being mean. Good God.

“Have you ever talked to her?” Polly’s voice startled her. Marie stared at the woman, then followed her gaze to... Charlotte.

“A few times.” She cleared his throat. “She usually shows up at the company and asks if Michael is busy... Sometimes she calls to leave a message.”

“Calls you? But you’re not his secretary!” Ada’s eyes widened indignantly.

“Well, I think she still hasn’t realized that yet.”

“Michael should take care of his own problems, Marie.” She insisted.

“Yes, but I...” Marie stopped. “I don’t mind at all.” What a big lie! “I use it to my own advantage. I always know when he’s busy with her, so I can blackmail him. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve threatened to tell Tommy about his adventures during work hours.”

“If you feel like it’s too much, tell me.” Polly took her hand, determined. “Michael doesn’t earn a shit ton of money to get loose at the office!”

“I thought about asking for a transfer to the London’s quarters, but Esme and John said I need to stay here. Lizzie too... We work well together.” She faked a smile.

“Oh, Marie!” Polly sighed, heart full of tenderness. “I know that Michael is not the best person to have around, but I must agree with Esme and Lizzie. You have to stay in Birmingham! In London you’d be exposed to more danger and wouldn’t have so much freedom either; after all, your name would link you to the Ton.” She shrugged. “And you told me you don’t want to be tied to them like that.”

Maria Clara nodded, a little upset. Whenever she thought about it, she got more confused than before. It wasn’t fair to let Michael stunt her growth, but she couldn’t bear the heartache of seeing him with some other girl. In London, at least, she wouldn’t have to witness that every single day… Nonetheless, she’d have to get more active into high society, and that was depressing too. The Pearsons would ask her to stay with them, and then they would try to restore the entire engagement plan.

“I really like it here.” She confessed. “And I like you all very much.”

“We like you a lot too!” Ada grinned. “But Birmingham? I don’t like here at all.”

“Little sister,” Pedro approached them, offering his hand. “wanna dance?”

“Not really, but as I see Mama getting up, I’ll accept.”

The four of them laughed and Marie pretended not to see Michael walking back into the hall and calling for Charlotte. She would enjoy that night with her family and the ‘other’ family that took her in… She wouldn’t let him mess that.

‘No Cocaine’ was what Tommy had said. But Charlotte had brought money and was begging for a few ounces. So, Michael was counting the ballots while the girl sniffed a line. Putting the money away, he took out a cigarette and lit it. It was reasonably satisfying that Charlotte didn’t ask him to put it off, but Michael had gotten used to Maria Clara’s scowls. He could even hear her mumbling.

“Lizzie?” Well, the truth is, he was really listening to her. “Lizzie?” The room’s door was opened, and Marie’s face peeked in. “Ah, sorry! I didn’t know it was occupied.”

“No problem.” Charlotte smiled. “Want one?” She indicated the table with snow.

“Thank you, I don’t do this.” The Brazilian’s face was serious, then her attention fell on Michael. “Have you seen or heard of Lizzie?

“No.” He replied. “Why’s that?”

“I need to pass her a message from Tommy.” Marie was closing the door when Michael called her. She stuck her face inside again. “What do you want?”

“What do you have to tell her? If it’s business related, I...”

“It’s none of your business, Mr. Gray.” The door almost slammed shut.

Michael didn’t even ask Charlotte for permission, he got up quickly and left the room, ready to argue with Maria Clara for her lack of manners.

“I said that if it was related to the company I should...” He took her by the arm.

“It is not!” Marie cut him off. “It’s a personal matter.”

“Why?”

“I told you it’s none of your business! Let me go, Michael.” She squirmed, annoyed. “I need to find Lizzie before Tommy has a stroke.”

“What personal matter is so serious that’d make him have one?”

“It’s about her boyfriend; for God’s sake, Michael!” Marie growled. “Why don’t you leave me alone and go entertain your girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” He snapped back, no hesitation.

“That’s not my fucking problem!”

He widened his eyes, releasing her at the same second. He could count on his fingers how many times he had heard Maria Clara curse, each of them she was in an extreme situation. But what was so extreme between them now? What did Lizzie’s boyfriend do? Had she found out about the restaurant?

“If you tell me what happened, we can split up to look for her and whoever finds her first gives the message. Much more effective, no?” Michael suggested, affable.

“Tommy doesn’t want him here but thinks he’ll show up anyway. Lizzie needs to uninvite him quick, ‘cause Mr. Changretta won’t even be able to get past the entrance gate.”

“I see.” His expression turned serious. “I better find her alone, then; and you can go back to the party. Lizzie must not like what she has probably already discovered.”

“What do you mean by that?” Marie frowned. “What… What did you do, Michael?”

“It’s none of your business, milady.”

“Michael!” She insisted. “What did the Blinders do?”

“Changretta is not the ideal man for Lizzie, we just helped him see it. Stop making a fuss or someone will listen!”

“You had no right to interfere in her affairs! Good Lord, do you all think you have any say in someone else’s private life?!”

“If she’s a Blinder, then we do.” For a moment, Marie thought she was talking to Tommy. Michael looked just like his cousin sometimes!

“That’s not fair! We can never talk about the women you choose!” She was livid, red with anger… But the Shelbys crossed the line this time.

The damned scoundrel flashed her a smirk.

“Oh, and?” Crossing his arms, he looked at her in the same patronising way Tommy watched Charles throwing a tantrum.

“Why, you...” She took a deep breath, pondering what to say. “Seu mequetrefe! Patife!” Marie blurted out in Portuguese, turning her back on him and stomping away.

To her complete relief, Maria Clara found Lizzie near the phones, but the damage had been done. She was annoyed and upset about the real reason of Angel Changretta’s absence, and Marie felt immense compassion. Why should she see Tommy with his wife while she was helpless? The anger at what Michael had said and at the injustice increased.

“I need a drink.” Lizzie announced as they headed down the hall.

“If you want, we can hide in the library until we’re drunk.” Marie suggested.

“Oh, Marie, it would be a dream! Do you think anyone will miss us?”

“Possibly not.”

“Then please guide the path, milady.” Lizzie bowed elegantly.

Maria Clara laughed, shaking her head. The two entered a parallel corridor, and at the third door on the right was the library. Since she had visited Arrow House almost a million times, she knew where all the alcohol was kept – good quality or bad.

Yes, today she would have fun with the cachaça her father had gifted Tommy.

“What will you drink?” Marie indicated all the bottles.

“What is your choice?”

“A few shots of cachaça and then brandy.”

“Cachaça?”

“Yeah... It is quite our ‘rum’.” She winked, smiling mischievously. “It’s delicious!”

The first dose made Lizzie squint. She commented that it had a different burn than other spirits, and Marie concluded that she had just made another cachaça fan. Well, one more for the team. Filling another shot, she raised her glass, proposing a toast.

“For all the stupid men in the world who don’t deserve a woman’s heart!”

“For all the stupid men who make us feel special and then change completely!”

“For all the one-sided loves we have to put up with!”

The two toasted and downed the shots.

“Hey, Marie,” Lizzie stared at her as she poured herself some brandy. “it’s Michael, isn’t it?” The Brazilian widened her eyes for a second, then regained her mild expression. “The stupid man and one-sided love, that is. It’s him, isn’t it?”

“I wish it was anyone else.” Maria Clara sighed, agreeing.

“I’ve had a hunch, but when you said you were thinking about moving to London and he started bringing Charlotte to the company, so I was sure.”

“It’s pathetic, I know.” She downed her last shot of cachaça, scowling afterwards. “Since I first saw him... It was the fact that he distinguished himself from the Blinders... Or his eyes.” Marie stared out the window, which overlooked the vibrant green field. “I thought it would pass, but it only got stronger.”

“I don’t think it’s pathetic, Marie. It’s a shame, that’s all.” Lizzie shrugged. “Do you mind if I smoke?”

“No, no, go on. You deserve it.” Marie gestured. “Maybe I’ll smoke too.”

“Jesus Christ, Marie.” Lizzie laughed. “I can’t let that happen! At least one of us...”

“I don’t think Linda smokes.”

“Linda is not one of us.”

“Oh, well.” She smiled mischievously. “Not even my mother is so... Devoted.”

The two girls burst into laughter. It wasn’t fair to talk about Linda like that, since they barely knew each other, but from everyone else’s experiences — and the little time Marie spent with the woman — it wasn’t a complete lie.

“Lizzie...” She called. “You think Michael would marry Charlotte?”

“I have no idea. He’s getting more and more like Tommy, except he’s reasonably refined and understated.” Breathing out the smoke, Lizzie relaxed in her chair. “Do you?”

“I don’t know either.” She confessed. “If that happens, will you promise to help me transfer to London? I’ll do anything to take you there with me!”

“Will the omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent Mr. Shelby let me go, though?” Her voice was pure mockery. Marie laughed out loud at the comparison to God.

“I’m sorry for what you have to put up with, Lizzie.” Her smile died. “I don’t know how you stand tall, but it shows me how brave you are.”

“I need the money, Marie. I can’t afford a broken heart to dictate my job... And I don’t want to go back to the old one.” Her eyes blurred with memories. Maria Clara had heard her story from John, and she could never explain what she felt specifically, but it was a mixture of compassion, pride and hope. “He promised I would never have to do that again, and I believed him.”

“If it’s up to us, Lizzie, you’ll never come back.” Marie said, convinced.

After nearly drinking the entire bottle of cognac, they were emotionally prepared to re-join the party. Going arm in arm and leaning on each other’s bodies to keep their balance, they walked with (little to none) grace to the hall.

Pedro was the one who noticed his sister’s drunkenness first. João realized right away and went to her rescue. Luckily, their parents were too busy with some of the bride’s relatives to acknowledge their daughter’s chaotic state.

“Hey, Marie!” João pulled her close. “Have you gone crazy?”

“No, Jota.” Maria Clara let out a low laugh.

“If Mama sees you like that, she’ll kill you! Lucky we’re not in Brazil, or else...”

“It would be utter vulgar and scandalous.” She completed, tuning her voice as if imitating her mother. “It’s like this here as well… Worse, even, for I’m a foreigner.”

“Oh no.” He shook his head exactly like their father did, and it made Marie momentarily emotional. Having them close on that occasion reminded her that, despite hiding it well, she missed her brothers and her Papa very much. “Come with me, you need to eat something sweet and drink water.”

“I’m not hungry at all.”

“There’s a chocolate bomb.” João raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“Hmpft,” She stomped her foot in a fit. “Maybe I’ll eat something.”

“And drink a glass of water.” He pleaded. “I promise I won’t ask for anything else.”

Marie nodded, letting him guide her around the room.

The two sat in a corner; while João Antônio did his best to keep his sister from getting the dessert’s filling on her dress, and she told him about the pleasant time she had spent with Lizzie at the library getting drunk.

“Say,” She continued in Portuguese. “we wouldn’t have done this if it was Arthur’s wedding. Turns out, well, it’s a secret, Jota.” She blinked. “I’ll tell you because you’re my brother and I know you aren’t a gossip... It’s impolite to gossip, both in Brazil and here.” Marie held his hand for a brief second, face serious.

“Of course.” He nodded, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

“Lizzie is in love with Tommy.” She confessed. “And it must be pretty hurtful to be at the wedding of the man one likes. Don’t you think?” Despite drunk, Marie exuded empathy.

“Certainly.” He held out the glass of water, watching her take a generous sip. “And then you suggested she drink to ease the pain and sadness?”

“Hers and mine.” Marie agreed. “Two birds with one stone.” She frowned. “Isn’t that a bad idiom? Poor birds, what a cruel death!”

“Why don’t you say ‘combining business with pleasure’? We won’t kill anything.”

“You know that Pedro is my favourite brother, don’t you? Because you’re older and we didn’t have as much contact during your teenage years.” She looked at him sincerely. “But you were always the one who understood me best, Jota. I miss your advices and your frowning face whenever Pedro and I got scolded for some mischief...”

“What a beautiful image you have of me, Marie.” João chuckled, helping her with the last bite of the chocolate bomb. Since there was too much filling, he wasn’t being able to keep it from running down her chin. “And what a blow to my ego, too. I always thought that Pedro had fallen to second after burning you debut dress! I’ll never forget your murderous look.” He smirked, using the napkin again.

“The dress!” Marie cried. “Good Heavens, I might weep now!”

“About the dress or about your situation and Lizzie’s?”

“What situation?” She concealed. “We’re happy now, aren’t we?”

“I don’t know, little sister. It’s you who must tell me.”

Maria Clara scanned the room, seeing Michael and Charlotte in a circle with Isiah, Finn and other girls. He was smoking, inhaling the smoke in what Marie knew as a ‘French inhale’ in Brazil; there, she heard them calling it ‘Irish Waterfall’.

“I’m furious, to be honest.” She shook her head. “But I have no right to feel that way. So, we can say I’m happy.” She drank the rest of the water.

“Why not?”

“Ah Jota, you men are so very dense.” Marie crossed her arms, despondent.

“Or it’s you women who are so very complicated.” Her brother shrugged.

“Can you get me another chocolate bomb?”

“Of course, Your Majesty.” João bowed, getting up.

[sapphire374]

Soy Sol: Chapter 4 (Rumors and Mishaps)

Wattpad Link

Ch.1 / Ch.2 / Ch.3 / Ch.5 /Ch.6 / Ch.7 / Ch.8 / Ch.9 / Ch.10 / Ch.11 / Ch.12 / Ch.13 / Ch.14 / Ch.15 / Ch.16 / Ch.17

The Jam and Roller

As Luna enters the Jam and Roller all eyes are laid on her. Luna notices across the room Nina typing in her computer. She anxiously runs to where Nina is sitting at. “Nina why is everyone staring at me?” “I think it’s because of what was on the news today. What I told you this morning about how they think you and Matteo broke up and that he replaced you with some girl named Viviana,” Nina clarified to Luna. It felt like a huge weight was pulling Luna to the ground. Things just had to go haywire after everything finally fell into place.

Across Luna and Nina’s table was Ámbar filing some papers. She has been very eager to hear Vidia’s news on the Jam and Roller’s future. Luna notices an apprehensive Ámbar and decides to talk to her. “Nina I’ll be back, I’m going to check up on Ámbar,” Luna stated to Nina. When Ámbar noticed Luna walking up to her, she immediately grabbed all of her lose papers and stuffed them back into the binder. “Hola Ámbar. Hi Ámbar. I just wanted to check up on you. Is everything ok? You look really stressed out and very red. Almost as if you saw a ghost or something,” Luna commented. “Oh, nothing much just a……studying to be a lawyer is hard that’s all,” Ámbar stuttered which made Luna even more worried. “Well you know that you can always count on me if you ever need any help. Plus, Nina’s mom is a lawyer as well; which obviously I know you knew that, but just a friendly reminder. Ámbar, are you sure everything is ok? You seem to be really holding on tight to that binder,” Luna inquired feeling really concerned for Ámbar. “Oh, that’s because…... I don’t want the wind to take away my homework. Usually you can blame it on the dog but not on the wind. Also, thanks for the advice but I think I’m fine for now,” Ámbar replied.

Right before Luna could say another word, Jim and Yam entered with Ramiro. Jim and Yam rushed to give Luna and Nina a hug while Ámbar was saved by the bell. “Oh my gosh I’ve missed you besties! How has that performing arts university going for you guys,” Luna asked while smiles were plastered on everyone’s faces. “It has been so much fun, but this year has been really rigorous. It is nice though that we have each other. It makes the scary setting feel a lot more like home,” Jim confessed with a happy smile. Ever since Jim and Yam started attending their prestigious university, they haven’t had the time to meet up with Luna and Nina at the Jam and Roller, but since its finally summertime and the semester has ended, they now have time for their friends and roller skating.

After everyone gave each other a hug, Ramiro hesitantly revealed news that everyone has been talking about. “I don’t mean to ruin the moment but have you guys heard what’s been going on between Matteo and Viviana on the news. Luna, perdón, I don’t mean to put you on the spot right now but… have you and Matteo broken up?” The whole Jam and Roller stayed quiet as everyone wanted to hear what Luna was going to say next. “Umm I don’t know much about Viviana, but I know, well at least I think, Matteo wouldn’t ever cheat on me. To be honest, I don’t want to talk about this right now,” Luna stated right before Simón walked in. “Dónde está Matteo? Where’s Matteo? Cause the person who should really be explaining himself should be him,” Simón yelled out loud leading to Luna trying to shush him. “No Símon it’s ok. It’s probably a misunderstanding I just don’t want to make a scene especially involving Matteo since he’s a celebrity now and I don’t want to ruin that for him,” Luna whispered. “Luna, I know your trying to be nice and all, but I can still see the depressive look in your eyes. Tus ojos nunca mienten. Your eyes never lie. You’re my best friend and I’ve known you forever. I know when something is bothering you and it’s my duty to protect and defend you cause I care a lot about you,” Simón comforted Luna and then gave her a hug.

While Simón and Luna hugged each other, Matteo walked in. A crowd of screaming fans rushed towards him for a picture. Luna immediately looked down to the floor with a noticeable frown on her face. Simón saw her gloomy, which ignited the flame to his anger. Simón quickly walked towards Matteo and announced, “Me and you need to have a serious conversation right now.” Luna saw and rushed over to their not-so-friendly encounter. “Ok, please. Simón and Luna let me explain. The news, paparazzi, and the tabloids all love to lie just to sell and make a lot of money. I promise you guys I’m not with Viviana and I don’t care to be with her. Alright, she’s just a friend,” Matteo announced while the whole place was quiet. “What about the pictures. Cause the pictures show that you and her have been really close to each other,” Simón asked to Matteo. “Yes, I have hanged out with her but only a few times because she loves coming to my shows and is a good friend of my manager, that’s it. The least I try to do is look for problems, especially in that industry, so obviously I’m going to be nice but she’s just a friend. Luna I would never cheat on you. Never. I fell in love with you the minute I laid my eyes on you and that will never change.” Luna’s smirk transitioned to a wide grin. Everyone was in awe of Matteo’s words.

Simón than replied to Matteo with, “My apologies. I guess I was wrong. Now that doesn’t mean I won’t be keeping my eyes on you two.” Simón smiled and then left Luna and Matteo alone. “Awww I wish I had a boyfriend as sweet and loving like Matteo,” Jim stated. “Me too Jim but I guess only a girl can dream.” Ramiro replied to Yam’s comment with, “And what am I, chopped liver?”

In the office of the Jam and Roller, Ámbar sits glaring at the wall. To her surprise Simón walks in. “Que te pasa mi amor? What’s the matter my love,” Simón curiously asked after seeing a worried expression on her face. “Luna almost found out. Honestly, I don’t know for how long we can keep lying to them. They will find out soon, trust me whether it’s from us or somebody else.” Simón takes a deep breath and takes a seat on one of the chairs placed in front of her desk. “Me neither to be honest. I just don’t think we’re ready to tell them. Especially with all the stress Luna has been having to deal with. I feel like maybe we should wait a little more before we reveal the secret. This is very delicate news that we should take with precaution. Plus, we don’t even know for sure if Vidia is going to sell this place or not. Let’s see what happens first, and then decide what our next step is.” Ámbar hesitantly nods in agreement to Simón’s response.

As Nina puts her books away in her locker, she receives a phone call from a strange phone number. She picks it up and to her surprise it’s somebody familiar. “Hola Nina! It’s Eric. I know it’s been a long time since we broke up, but I know that right before I left for Brazil to record my new album you said we can still stay as friends and keep in touch. Well I’m going to be in Argentina tomorrow, and I was hoping if maybe we can meet up. Of course, hang out as friends nothing more. I just really wanted to see your pretty face again.” Hearing Eric’s full speech catches her off guard. She was not expecting such a random phone call from Eric. The last time he called her was exactly three years ago. Before Nina can respond to Eric, Gaston enters. “Hola mi amor. Hi my love. Who are you on the phone with,” Gaston whispers to Nina so he won’t seem rude. Nina anxiously gestures a “give me one minute” sign by showing her index finger. “Sure, we can meet up and talk a little……. Tomorrow at three pm sounds fine. Bye.” The look on Nina’s face makes Gaston feel perturbed.

“It was Eric…He wanted to meet up with me just to talk since we haven’t seen each other in a while and we’re still good friends.” Gaston starts shaking his head in disbelief in what Nina said. “Eric? You’re ex? I thought that lousy musician was away at Brazil? What do you mean he wants to meet up with you? And I can’t believe you said yes!” Gaston gruntled. “I didn’t want to sound rude and say no.” Nina explained to Gaston. “Sounding rude and saying no would’ve been perfectly fine! He better go back to wherever he came from after tomorrow. Who does he think he is, Zavi? Well, let him know I can get rid of him just as easily as I got rid of Zavi!” Gaston fumed leaving Nina worried and a little depressed for making Gaston feel that way. “Look Gaston, it will only be for tomorrow I promise. He’s only going to be in town tomorrow and then leave. There’s nothing to be worried about. I love you and only you.” Nina stated which calmed Gaston down a bit. “Also, what did you do to Zavi? Is that why I’ve never seen him again?” Gaston scratches his head nervously and replies with “Oh would you look at that Matteo has arrived! Hola Matteo, cómo estás! Hi Matteo, how are you!”

Gaston heads over to where Matteo is and gives him a huge hug. “Long time no see. So how was the tour?” Gaston asked Matteo. “It was amazing seeing all the fans sing my songs and everyone enjoying themselves. My manager has also been very proud of how people won’t stop talking about it,” Matteo boasted to Gaston. Nina notices the look Luna gives her and immediately creates a diversion so Luna and Matteo can be alone. “Well, we’re very proud of you Matteo but Gaston I think it’s time we leave these two alone. Especially how you still haven’t answered my question on what happened to Zavi. Don’t think you’re going to get away from answering it this time.” Nina than pulls Gaston away and now Luna and Matteo are finally alone at last.

Luna and Matteo don’t stop staring at each other’s eyes almost like if they are each two opposite ends of a magnet that keep pulling towards each other. Luna shakes her head and says, “so why exactly have you been hanging out with Viviana?” Luna wants to pretend like she doesn’t care yet the curiosity has been eating her up inside the whole day, and she was hoping he can give her the full explanation. “Luna, I promise we only hanged out as friends. She’s a rising actress and it’s good to have friends who have had experience with this world and can give me some tips and advice. Trust me though, I don’t see her as anything more than just a friend. You are the love of my life Chica Delivery. Te quiero mucho.” This time Luna did believe him. They have had a long history of their ups and downs dealing with their relationship, but Luna believes him. She reminds herself that she doesn’t want to make the same mistake as what she did when Emilia tried to rip them apart.

Matteo and Luna share a passionate kiss where no one can see them. As they pull apart Matteo states, “I’ve been wanting to tell you something. I was thinking how about we go on a nice date tomorrow. I can even take you to that new restaurant that everyone’s been talking about. I miss hanging out with you so much, and now that I finally get a break since my tour ended, I want to spend every minute of it with you,” Matteo proposed elaborated. ���I would love to Chico Fresa and…. Te quiero mucho tambien,” Luna beamed with excitement and hugged Matteo as he lifted her off the ground making her feel like a princess. After one rotation, Matteo puts Luna down. “Oh, how could I forget I also have a surprise for you!” Luna’s shocked face didn’t last that long though when they heard a loud scream coming from the cafeteria.

Luna and Matteo hurried to where the scream came from. It appears the Roller team’s members are surrounding a guy with a suit on, holding a briefcase. “What do you mean your shutting down the Jam and Roller,” Jazmín exclaimed while holding her tablet up in the air filming everything.

[peachyunjinnie]

❝there’s always a first time❞ hjs ― m.

― summary:

your brother seungmin is very protective over you, but one day your best friend gave you a stick and poke tattoo and you get an infection. fortunately seungmin’s friend jisung as a hobby tattoo fanatic helps you take care of it and when seungmin wasn’t there you two decide to run away.

badboy!jisung/goodgirl!reader | fluff, smut | 5.3k ↬ content warnings: swear words, the mention of alcohol and drugs. drunk/high sex, with a little size and corruption kink.

a/n: i had this idea a couple of days ago and i tried my best to get this idea into a fic, i hope you enjoy it !!

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The relationship between me and my cousin Seungmin is better than with anyone else, you could say that we could consider ourselves as siblings and even best friends. We had the same taste in humor and even better lived in the same house after my mother died right after she gave birth to me. My father ended up bringing me to my aunt and uncle at the age of 2. 

Seungmin is 1 year older and has ‘BBPI’ as he calls it which means Big Brother Protection Instinct. I know, complete nonsense and as a 16-year old I don’t get why I have to be protected. Well, as Seungmin said I am still ‘his small sister’. Pathetic. As said before Seungmin is 1 year older to be exact 11 months and 28 days and has friends, for whatever reason, he has a whole group. Well, he warned me about one of them, the walking trouble: Han Jisung. He basically is the opposite of me, a 180 if you want to say it.

He stole the car of his stepfather numerous of times and I remember seeing him drunk and completely stoned in school, that I will never forget. Last year he was stumbling through the hallways of our school. His hair messy and his smile never leaving his lips. He had the hardest time trying to keep his eyes open, or even just keeping his legs moving. And the best part, he puked on his teacher's chest. It was the highlight of the whole day, no the whole semester. His stepfather thank god is very wealthy and managed to keep him in school, somehow.

I heard a lot of rumors about this Jisung and I really do not want to believe that he was in the Russian mafia boss nor do I want to believe that he killed his father and is living with his mother who helped him. It was really funny though to hear how unique and ridiculous the fantasies and the gossip was at our school, I mean a Russian mafia boss, seriously?

I hung out with my own friends, but sometimes I would get to talk and just meet my brother’s friends. In conclusion, we even had the same taste in friends. They were really nice. I really have the best friendship with Felix and Changbin. Felix firstly has an excellent taste in music and humor, secondly, he is by far one of the most concentrated gamer I’ve ever met. Changbin is just Changbin. He is kind of annoying and clingy with his friends. Which you would’ve never expected from this buff hulk. And to be completely honest with you, Changbin and Lix...are kind of cute together.

Well, with Seungmin being as protective as he is, he has told me clearly that dating is already a picky topic but dating one of his group members. I think he would be as angry as he was when I asked him what a ‘Day6′ was. He really ignored me for 3 weeks straight, with a text message saying ‘if you know who wonpil is then you are allowed to talk to me’. (stan day6, cowards.)

“Stop moving so much, I’ve done it before and you’re overreacting.” She whisper-screamed. She was nearly done with her K on my thigh, It was way bigger than I thought it would be, but it looked good.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m just getting poked by a hot needle on my thigh over and over again.” My sarcasm was louder than the thoughts in my head that were shouting lines of ‘you’re so in trouble’ or ‘you will never be able to get this off your skin’. 

“So.. Here we go. Done.” She said as she was looking at her masterpiece of a K on my thigh of the size of a thumb. But it looked even and nice. She has done a (The first letter of y/n) on her thigh. I cannot believe how red it was though, and swollen. Extremely swollen

“Kim, when will it be ‘okay’?” I asked her with a slight nervous undertone. I really am the biggest chicken on earth. She opened her bag and got saran wrap. She took some out and wrapped it over her creation with such a soft touch. I still cringed and squinched.

“Maybe a week or two. It doesn’t take too long.” She smiled at our bond. I smiled with her. We ended up in a big hug and stayed like this for some time before she packed her stuff and headed out.

I admired her work on my thigh and stood up, with an overwhelming pain spreading across my thigh. I couldn’t stand up on my own feet, my thigh stung extremely and harshly. 

Panic rising through me, what the heck should I do now? Should I call my mom and tell her about it? Should I tell Seungmin and ask him for help? Should I just emigrate to Brazil and start my new life as a Silvia Theresa Rodriguez? 

I crawled to my bed and tried my best to let the 2 years drama club pay off. I called my mom and asked for a painkiller. She came up to my room and sat on the edge of my bed.

“Honey, is everything okay?” Her concerned eyes scanned my body and noticed my messy hair and my pale face. I coughed.

“Mom, I-I’m sick.” She sat there and looked at me and gave me the painkiller with a glass of water. 

I snatched it out of her hand and gulped the pill down as if it were the only banana in the jungle. Her concern grew faster and she shook her head.

“I’m going to call your teacher. You’re not going to school.” She said as she got off my bed and walked off with her phone in her hand, dialing the number.

After the longest 8 hours, Seungmin came home, and thank god came into my room. With a bag of McDonald's and a big smile, he went to my bed and sat down. 

“Why didn’t you come to school?” He gave me the bag and with a breathtaking smell of fat and fast food filling my nose and getting the best of me. 

“Oh, I am sick my head hurt a little, and mom overreacted.” I said with a huge load of fries in my mouth.

With a small pat on my thigh, he hit the right spot of the K and a shriek came out, my whole body tensing up and Seungmin looking at my covered thigh. He took the blanket off. My shorts relieving the now swollen and slightly scabbing spot. 

A moment of silence filled the room and Seungmins face has gotten from a healthy color to a concerning red and then to a frightening purple.

“Surprise...” I smiled awkwardly.

“Y/N, you got a fucking tattoo...” His voice was a low growl, but still, you could clearly hear the pure panic in his voice.

“Uhm, haha yea. So I made it myself, you like it?” My shaking voice showing the state of mine. My thigh looked pretty bad and as painful as it would’ve been, without the painkillers.

“Did you disinfect it?” My whole head went blank. Of course, it was so swollen and scabbing, Kim didn’t disinfect it. My face went paler than pale and I rethought the consequences of an infection.

“Okay, I’ll take that as a no. Get your shoes and we will get to my friend he will help you.” He really was very serious about the infection so I stood up with a numb pain, but not as overwhelming as it was yesterday. I searched for my shoes and directly followed him.

A quick bus ride and a small foot-march later there was a big but still small and cozy house. Red and white, reminding me of a red velvet cupcake. Looks fancy but is cute at the same time. The grass and the dwarfs decorating the beautiful view. A middle-aged lady working in the garden, planting in seeds and watering the red tulips. 

“Hello, Mrs. Han is Jisung home?” He grinned at her.

“Oh hello, Seungmin. Nice to see you again!” She smiled at him with a motherly aura surrounding her. She hugged him and I could see that she liked Seungmin a lot. He didn’t really know what to do awkwardly stood there and let her do. She noticed me standing there and hiding behind Seungmin's tall figure and met with her warm brown eyes.

“Hello, and who are you?” she asked with a bigger smile.

“Uh, I am Seungmins sister.” I immediately trusted her and her warm embrace.

“Ah yes, I can see the model genes going in the family. You seem like you’re in a big rush to see Jisung, he’s in his room.” She told us and saw my embarrassed blush across my face as Seungmin took my hand and yanked me downstairs to where Jisung was.

The basement as a room, interesting. It was colored black and had a lot of posters of some bands that I have never heard of. There he was on his bed smoking a cigarette and admiring his newest addition to his arm, a slightly red and in saran wrapped tattoo. A small skull drinking from a glass bottle, very precise and well made. He sat there and continued to smoke.

“Seungmin, what’s up.” he took a puff. Not giving anyone a single look. His hand tapping over his forearm and keep admiring his skull. 

“I need your help. My sister made a tattoo and now it’s infected. Do you know what to do?” Seungmin seemed very concerned and worried. Jisung stood up and chuckled a little.

“The little Y/N, has a tattoo?” He asked me and looked down at me. 

His eyes have the same warm brown as his mothers and I weirdly trusted him regardless of his reputation. His hair was dyed a very light blonde and his face was very chubby, unlike his body which was athletic: muscular but slim. He had two tears on his face and my thoughts went crazy. Who in the actual hell did he kill and the rumors of Jisung being a Russian mafia boss came into my mind and I reconsidered if I should be worried to be in a room with him?

“Seungmin, I have some lemonade for you.” Mrs. Han's voice echoed through the basement and he looked at Jisung.

“Go for it, I will take care of her.” He gave him green light and Seungmin looked at him with a look in his eyes. Which could be translated into ‘If you hit on my sister, I will drag your corpse to the nearest forest and let you get eaten by the birds’. Jisung nodded and Seungmin went upstairs.

“So tell me, how did you do that?” He said with a smile as he pointed to my infected K. His hair falling on his face, a little messy but still perfectly proportional.

“Uhm, a long story...” He went to his desk and took out a liquid and a cotton pad. He pushed the chair next to the bed and patted the bed. I quickly sat down. Him in front of me.

“I have time, come on.” He looked up and gave me a simper. I felt a small tickle again and wanted to trust him with it.

“Well uh, my friend Kim wanted to get us bonded. She took a needle and poked my skin for some time until it was done.” He laughed a little, letting me see his whites. 

“You stick and poked and didn’t disinfect it?” His eyes still on mine and not leaving the look they had, of the warm and soft chocolate brown.

“No, we didn’t and stop making fun of me- Ah-” His cold hand touching my thigh. My body stiffened and it was hard to relax.

“Calm down, relax. You wanna listen to music? disinfecting this will be a little uncomfortable.” He stood up and walked to his stereo. He took out a cassette and stuck one in. A prehistoric cassette, I haven’t seen this since I listened to Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban one years ago. After some seconds of silence, ‘All The Small Things’ by blink-182 boosted through the speakers.

He turned around and sat down again and wet the pad with this liquid. He took off the wrap and the air hit the wound. It was a stinging soreness, that leads me to look away and bite my lower lip, hard.

He took the wet pad and started to clean up the wound as careful and gentle as possible, the stinging and burning pain was a very harsh rush of pain. I whined and groaned loudly.

“Does it hurt?” He asked as he was still cleaning up.

“Well, yes,” I said with a small whine.

“Good. If I see you with a new tattoo I will get you punished.” his voice getting raspier and raspier. But he still cleaned the wound up and was done with the disinfecting. He stood up again and got some of the saran wraps and pointed his finger, signaling me to stand up.

I stood up from his bed and he kneeled down to wrap it up. His hands still very cold and tickling my thigh. 

“So Kim, is your friend?” His voice a little absent.

“Yes, my best.” I had to automatically smile.

“Tell me about her, how is she like?” I was surprised at his interest in my personal life but answered him.

“Oh, um she is reckless and she never thinks about her actions. She makes out stupid things that I have to box her out of. But she also has a nice and gentle side that not many know. I love her a lot.” I smiled at our memories and how easy it was to be myself around her.

As I was in my thoughts, Jisung took out a bottle of Jack Daniels and takes a glass. He gets him a good amount and gets another glass after seeing my big eyes. After a long friendship with Kim who was known for drinking, I have never drunk any alcohol, well until today. He gave me a glass full of brown fluid.

“I- I can’t believe we did that.” I laughed as Jisung was holding my hand walking on an abandoned street in the middle of nowhere. He had given me a big sip of the whiskey, it was a burning sensation of my taste buds being confused and curious for more. 

“It’s better, not being sober right?” He asked stumbling into the sunset.The bitter taste of the alcohol and the adrenaline of me running away with a friend of my brother without his permission. I felt every single touch of his hand tightening and holding my hand in his clutches not letting go.

��Come on drink it, Y/N. The painkillers are not going to help you any better than Jackie will.” He smiled and waved the glass in front of my nose. I mean I never was drunk and I want to know what it’s like. My curiosity and stupidity have gotten control of me and I accepted with a shaky hand. 

I took a small sip of the whiskey and the bitter and stinging sensation was so disgusting. I couldn’t swallow it and started to look around for somewhere to spit it at. But with Jisung forcing me to look up at him with his fingers, pushing my head upwards. 

“Swallow it, now.” his eyes burning holes into mine and letting me breathless with no other choice other than swallow. I gulped the fluid down and the burn in my throat was unbelievably harsh. 

“Good girl, now. If Seungmin sees your ass drunk this will be very dangerous for both us. Do you have any other clothes or is this everything you’ve got?” He already searched in his closet and gave me a black hoodie with some jeans. 

“Here you go. Hurry up, my mom is not going to keep him for any longer.” He went upstairs and left me with there a little tipsy and with some clothes from this boy that I barely knew. 

After getting them on I noticed the size difference, Jisung has it in L. On me it was XXL. The size was really funny and the jeans that should hug his waist like they are on the ones he is wearing, are now hanging from my pelvic bone. I saw my reflection of the mirror and busted out in laughter. 

Jisung came down and looked at my new outfit, and laughed as well. He came in front of me and squished my cheeks. He played with them and ruffled my hair into a mess, I officially am looking like I just woke up with my PJ’s. 

“You look so cute, this stuff is the tightest clothing that I have and your body is just sliding through.” He smiled and looked into my eyes, his hands still cupping my cheeks. A strong smell of alcohol and cigarettes leaving him, mixing with his cologne.

He stepped back and admired this baggy look. He had a hand on his chin, thinking about what can make it look even better than it already does. With an idea in his mind he sought for.... a belt. 

He took the of course black belt and put it over my waist. I almost wanted to remind him that I am not a toddler and can put on a belt myself, but the sudden closeness of him and his firm grip on his jeans on me. My heart did a small tap dance, but he continued to put it on with no sign of hesitation.

“This looks better. Take your shoes and let’s get out of here.” Trouble, that was what I am going to get after this. Am I out of my mind going with Jisung with no other thought? Am I dumb for trusting this dude that threw up on his teacher's chest in the hallway last year?

He packed his bag with a shit ton of bottles and some other stuff that I don’t even want to know what it is, the curiosity of what is in this bag now really bugged me. What did he have in this bag? He started to notice my glare on his black backpack.

“You ever had drugs, little one?” He asked as if it was the most normal thing to ask a 16-year-old. If I ever had drugs, the small sips of this weird and burning stuff and the coffee I had in the morning.

“N-No.” My stutter surprised me and the sudden tension started to get harder and intense. My subconscious shouted in my head to get out and go home with Seungmin, but this Jisung really had something and I wanted to explore that.

“There’s always a first time and I needed to go out anyway. You wanna meet my friends?” His smirk was absolutely precious and there was no way in hell that I could say no to this face. After my agreement, he smiled even brighter than before. He took some of his rings and gave those to me and some chains. I looked so different from what I daily wear and with a hat my appearance was complete.

“I-It’s so much better. Not having this pressure.” After another big gulp of the whiskey, he threw the bottle to the road and opened his bag. A see-through water like a bottle. He gave it to me and I opened it after some seconds of struggle. We stumbled through the sunset of the lonely and empty roads of a beautiful panorama.

“Le-Let’s sit down for a while. I am so ti-tired.” I laughed and sat down on the empty road. He joined me and took the opened vodka bottle from me and took a small sip after gasping dramatically and getting a green bag out of his pocket. It looked like leaves and after a long time of finding out what it was, I knew it when he started to build a joint.

I took the bottle and drank the alcohol. I couldn’t believe this scenario, I am drunk and I am about to get high. I will get so much damage for this one night, but it still felt like it was a Bonnie and Clyde after play. Such a euphoric moment, and a moment I would’ve never have dreamed of.

So deep in my own thoughts and my own actions and with this alcohol in my hands, I didn’t see that Jisung was already done with his work. He saw my lazy eyes and pointed out to his bag.

“Hey, listen to music on my phone the code is 0325.” I crawled over to his bag and searched for the perfect song and here it was. New Flesh by the Current Joys, a carefree and a lighthearted song. The song started playing and Jisung snickered.

“I start to really learn a new si-side of you. Little miss Y/N.” He finished his joint and licked it clean. He grabbed in his bag and pulled out speakers. This bag really is a survival kit. He connected them to his phone and the music blasted out with such an enormous volume.

He took out his lighter and the fire sneaked it’s way through the marijuana and gives out a really unique smell. He seemed relaxed and fell on his back. He now was lying on the hard and cold cement road, his little relaxing tool between his fingers.

“So you never smoked before, like ever?”He has gotten up again and let his arm over my shoulder, giving me a really focused look.

“N-Nah.” I giggled for no reason. My head felt dizzy and my vision getting blurry after breathing in second-hand smoke.

“So I’m gonna show you, ho-how to do it the right way.” He smiled and almost closing his eyes completely.

He took my face into his hand and held the joint on the other hand. He gave it to me and I held it the best way I could, trying to let it fall down. I took a big hit and coughed all of the smoke out in a matter of 3 seconds.

He laughed uncontrollably and as he was laughing my head started to turn, my stomach started to growl and my mouth was getting dry. I honestly did not expect it to work that easily but I felt the difference in my body. I took another puff of it and another.

With a little time it has gotten easier and better to not cough. Jisung after not talking for what seemed like a whole eternity, started to notice that the sky is getting darker. He saw a whole field next to the road and threw his stuff in there and threw himself as well.

“Come here! The field is soft.” He shouted from his new spot and I giggled and jumped on top of him. His laugh resounded through the emptiness surrounding us and my giggle became a little quieter when I felt his hand on my hip. As before, when he put on the belt for me, my face grew hot and my eyes stayed on him and I played with his hair. He stroked my body with his fingertips, it feeling like electric wires rushing through my hot body. 

I leaned down and then kissed his soft lips. Right at this moment I didn’t care about anyone. My brother, my parents, my friends not even my own thoughts that screamed in my head to cut it off and go home. I wanted to live and wanted to enjoy, feel this moment. Exactly live in this moment right here and there. In a field in the middle of nowhere with the music still blasting somewhere near us and the taste of alcohol still running through my mouth and most importantly, Jisung being right here and there. 

“I d-don’t want to pressure you to anything, Y/N.-” I shushed him up with another kiss and his smile making the butterflies in my tummy explode into a mess. He tucked on his hoodie and leaned into my ear.

“I am sure you look even better without my hoodie on.”

I giggled loudly, his hand getting lost on the inside of my hoodie. Grasping on my bra and massaging it softly. My world turning in circles and the music still playing on the highest volume from the speakers, somewhere in the grass.

“I want you, now.” I said, looking down to him. I took off my hoodie and threw it next to Jisung beneath me. His hands still on me, my hair falling down to the side of his face. I was needy and what could feed this hunger was him.

“If your brother could see his little girl…” he smiled at my face being some small inches in front of his. the taste of the marijuana in my mouth mixed with the strong vodka and whiskey was driving me into the dumbest things.

I kissed his soft lips, touching them a little and his tongue rolling with mine. He tasted like danger and everything forbidden for me, giving me a thrill of my life. I continued to go down his neck, sucking the best I could making it hard due to the lack of energy.

“You’re doing great, little one.” He moaned when I once reached his hard and perky abs, leaving a trail of bruises and hickeys all the way down here. He groaned once I unlocked his belt and pushed his jeans down to his boxers. The outline of his dick was hardly poking out, getting me to an idea of my first blowjob ever.

I pulled the off and there he was, poking at me. The hard and red tip, cum dripping on them slightly. I took him in my hands, carefully pumping him. His eyes following my actions his whines and stares telling me to put him in my mouth, I couldn’t get him all in, him laughing at me trying my hardest to deepthroat.

“Your little mouth is amazing.” He mumbled with his eyes closed tightly, his hands getting lost in my hair. Moans and grunts getting me wetter and wetter. I couldn’t breathe and with my mouth being filled up completely, my eyes turning to the back of my head.

I backed up and took some time to breathe, a string of saliva connecting my lips with his wet and throbbing dick. He pushed his hair back, his hand still on my head, grabbing and pulling at it hardly. I choked lightly on his pressure on my head, pushing me down and forcefully getting me down. After some seconds of complete silence he let go and a broken groan echoed through my dizzy head.

“Uh fuck, how can this small mouth get all that in?” He smiled looking down at me with his lazy eyes on the string of saliva connecting his tip to my lips. I started to laugh out, the feeling of a dick in my mouth reminding me of a Popsicle. He laughed as well, this whole scenario being unbelievable. It was deep dark outside, the only light being the lanterns of the side street and the moon, shining out heavily. The wheat among us, the music that still played beside us.

He suddenly stopped giggling immediately and closed his eyes. His head was thrown to the ground and he held my head in his hands, still thrusting into my mouth hardly.

“Wh-Where can I c-cum?” He stuttered and I just continued to bop my head down his length, feeling every inch in my mouth, I choked a little on the twitch of his cock. “Fuuuck.” He groaned loud through the hard beats of the music. I felt his dick twitch again in my throat and as I moaned the vibrations got him to spill his load into my mouth. The warm liquid running through my throat, I choked once again and the shivers went down my spine mercilessly.

“Ah fuck.” He tried to collect his breath, moaning more curse words. I still sucked at the tip and popped him out of my mouth, his seeds running down my lips. I looked up at his brown eyes, stars above us reflecting in them. He had the warmest and softest expression on his face, starring down at my cum filled mouth, trying my hardest to swallow everything.

“Now it’s your turn, princess.”

[paodequeijofeliz-blog]

Don’t you remember?

Bloodbound Fanfiction (characters and main story belongs to Pixelberry Studios).

Pairing: Kamilah Sayeed and MC (Annie)

Information: this takes place long after Bloodbound 3. In this scenario, MC was Turned only after giving birth to their daughter.

Summary: Thirty years after meeting Annie for the first time, now Kamilah is married and has a daughter who is about to get married as well. While preparing the wedding, they decide to remember Lysia’s childhood stories. This part 3 was inspired by an anon request and they’re the one who had this wonderful idea, thank you anon! You have all the credit for it!  💛

Warnings: just fluff and funny.

Part 1 Part 2

January 8th, 2049

The group was still having dessert and some coffee at the restaurant. Soon they would be leaving to take care of their tasks. Lysia had an appointment with the florist in the afternoon, where she would meet Drake so both could finally choose the flowers. Her attention was now captured by Lily showing some pictures of LA, until Adrian asked her a sudden question.

“Darling, do you remember when exactly did you fall in love with your fiancé?”

She fixed her posture, a little surprised. It was the first time Lysia ever thought about it. “Hmm… I guess… It was the day he met my mothers for the first time. When we were doing a school project together.”

“The night we made brownies? Really?” Annie’s eyes were sparkling of excitement. “I can’t believe it, I was there! And I noticed how he would smile at you.”

“All I remember is the stupid one.” Kamilah sighed, taking a sip of her espresso.

“Kyle! Oh my god, yes. He was hitting on you.” Lysia loved that part.

“WHAT?” Lily was almost finished with her dessert but dropped the spoon the minute she heard it. “Tell us. Please. I beg you.”

“Oh, my.” The Egyptian got back to her coffee, refusing to tell that story.

“Well, luckily I have a pretty good memory.” Annie couldn’t help herself. “It was a regular night…”

--------------------------------------

September 20th, 2041

Lysia wasn’t a shy teenager, but she could be quite reserved and just a little bit judgemental regarding people her own age. Therefore, for her to bring friends to the Penthouse, it took years and a lot of encouragement from her mothers. Well, from Anna, since Kamilah couldn’t care less about other mortal teenagers.

That’s why that night should go well, so Lysia would feel comfortable enough to bring them again. It was just a school project, but Annie knew how kids could be, so she was fixing some snacks in the kitchen and had a silly program going on the TV. Luckily, there would be a lot of laughs and not much of studying tonight.

“Mom, I’m home!” Lysia’s voice came from the living room as she entered, followed by three classmates.

“I’ll be there in a sec!” The woman was just finishing to heat up some Brazilian snacks that would certainly blow their minds. After putting all of it on a bowl, and taking another one of popcorn, she left to the living room and dropped it on the coffee table. “Here you go! Brain food.”

“Wow!” someone whispered under breath.

“Mom, these are…”

“Wait, wait, wait, let me get the soda first!” she ran back into the kitchen, leaving Lysia with a hand hanging in the air.

“Is that your mother? I mean… It’s…” the girl standing beside the armchair couldn’t blink. “She is so pretty!”

“I think Nina just fell in love with your mom.” One of the boys laughed, the blond jock.

Annie came back with a huge smile and a trade of glasses filled by some coloured beverage. “There’s pink lemonade, and some other different sodas here. But if you want, I can bring some juice, tea, coffee, water, we’ve got it all. Alright, who is who?”

Lysia sighed, getting back to introducing them. “So, this is Drake. The one with the jersey on is Kyle and that’s Nina. Everyone, this is my mother, Mrs. Sayeed.”

“Annie.” She dismissed the formalities, stepping forward to give each one of them two kisses on the cheeks. That made the girl next to the armchair blush and giggle. “Well, there’s soda, popcorn annnnnnnnnnd something else. It’s a Brazilian snack, we call it salgadinhos. Just imagine if someone took a bunch of raw French fries and stuffed them with cheese, chicken, meat, whatever you want, then fried it. I believe this is the closer I can get of explaining how it tastes like. Try it. You’re gonna love it.”

“Thanks, mom.” Lysia went to get herself the only glass that wasn’t soda, but iced tea. “Alright, let’s sit on the floor and start this project.”

While everybody got settled quickly, the woman left them alone, not even noticing how Nina’s eyes followed her. The girl sighed and turned back to Lysia, a goofy smile on her face. “Your mother is the most beautiful woman that has ever lived.”

“Oh, gee! This is awesome!” Drake was super excited about a chicken snack he took from the bowl.

“Coxinha. It’s my favourite.” Lysia smiled at him for a second, but dropped her gaze to the books, trying to hide the way her cheeks blushed.

“I swear, her eyes, and her lips, and the waves of her hair, it’s all just so…”  Nina was still dreaming about Annie. “And the voice, that accent, where is she from again, Lys? I bet is a sexy country.”

“Brazil.”

“Told ya. Sexy country.” The girl popped one of those fried meat balls on her mouth.

“What makes Brazil a sexy country?” Lysia arched one eyebrow, a movement she learned with Kamilah over the years.

“Your mum.” Nina swallowed, eyes still lingering in the way to the kitchen.

“Oh, god. Alright, focus. Let’s get this project done.”

Slowly, the conversation started to fade away, as they got distracted by reading and writing. In a couple hours, Annie went to check the silent group to find out the food was gone, and so were the drinks. She took the bowls and glasses out, not risking making a sound, never even noticing how Nina sighed and blushed at her side. It was almost 8 p.m. by now, so Kamilah would be arriving soon. The woman stared at the clock in the kitchen, anxious about what to do. They all seemed so quiet and compenetrated, Annie didn’t want to interrupt, but…

“Mom?” Lysia called her at the door, an uneasy expression on her face.

“Hi, baby. Need some help?”

“No, no. Just… Wondering. We did a lot. Not all of it, as to be expected, but a lot.” The girl bit her lower lip, as she was still trying to decide whether to ask for something or not.

Annie knew that movement. It was like her daughter’s thoughts were being said out loud to her. She wanted to have fun, but her serious and committed little heart was telling her to stay focused on the studying.

“Hmmm, that’s good. But I think you should take a break. You don’t wanna risk writing a bad conclusion cause you’re too tired after doing a great introduction and development, do you?”

Lysia’s eyes sparkled. Excitement and relief. “I supposed not. What do you suggest?”

“Well, I was about to make us some brownies. Why don’t you call your friends here, and we make it together? We could put some music on too.”

“That sounds fun. Right?”

“It is fun.” Annie took that sweet teenager’s face between her hands. A seventeen-year-old girl, so incredibly smart and confident, yet so insecure about making friends. “Trust me. They’ll love it.”

She couldn’t be more right. In ten minutes, there was some pop music playing from a phone and a bunch of teenagers trying to figure it out how to make brownies. Mostly, they were just stealing the M&M’s, making jokes about the worst trash movie ever made and confessing the most embarrassing dates they had. Annie won their affection enough to pull Lysia into the conversation, then shrewdly distanced herself, concentrating on cutting the fresh baked brownies, so her daughter would have all the attention.

The entire house smelled like chocolate. That was the first thing Kamilah noticed when entering through the front door. All the unfamiliar voices were being heard even from the elevator, and for a moment The Vampire had forgotten all about that little gathering. She sighed, so tired. Left the purse on the table and high heels by the door, eager to have some brownies too.

Kamilah was jut crossing the hallway to the kitchen when a boy talking on the phone almost bumped into her.

“A… I’ll call you back later, dude…” Kyle’s eyes widened at that vision. “Holy crap, you’re gorgeous.”

“Excuse me?” the Vampire arched an eyebrow.

“Kyle Grant. You must be Kamilah.” He put a hand on the wall and a cocky smile on his face. “Heard a lot about you.”

There were so many answers crossing her mind now, but all she did was look down and pat his head. “I’m sure you did, little boy. Now why don’t you go sit with your friends, huh?”

And just like that, Kamilah removed his arm and entered the kitchen to look for her wife. Annie was cooking something by the stove, while the others already started eating the hot brownies. Lysia only gave her mother a cold glance, for she was still mad about a fight they had a couple of days ago. Drake was too distracted trying to impress the girl with good jokes to notice the tall woman, as was Nina, her entire attention captured by Annie’s explanation of what “brigadeiros” were.

“I swear, my love, one day everybody in New York will know all about Brazilian cuisine because of you.” The Vampire hugged her from behind, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

“Nah, it’s just party food. I haven’t even started explaining our barbecues.” She relaxed on Kamilah’s arms for a second, still stirring the melted chocolate with condensed milk in the pot. “There’s more brownies in the microwave. I saved you some.”

“Now you may have my heart.”

“Hmmm I already do, sweetheart.”

The Egyptian gave her a last kiss on the cheek and went to take a few brownies, choosing only the ones that had nuts instead of M&M’s. Suddenly, she felt the shadow of a small figure behind her, together with the smell of cologne. “Oh, no.”

“So, a fan of chocolate, huh?” Kyle hopped on the kitchen’s counter, trying to get closer. “What about we go out for some ice cream after this? Let’s ditch them.”

“You know you’re a baby, don’t you?” Kamilah took a bite from one of the brownies, barely glancing at the child beside her.

“Thank you, hotstuff. But I prefer to be called ‘babe’ instead of ‘baby’.”

“So, Annie, my wife and love of my life, do you need help there?” she turned to the woman by the stove, who only laughed at the despair on the Egyptian’s eyes.

“Of course not, you keep Kyle company, I can see how much you’re enjoying it.”

Kamilah clenched her jaw, turning back to the small cocky teenager who just took some mint bubble gum out of his pocket. Before she could say anything, though, Nina jumped between them. “K! Your father is calling me, I think he’s waiting outside. Can I get a ride?”

“Shit. Fine.” He winked at the tall woman at the same time he pinched her cheek. “Guess I’ll see you around. Hey, Drake, coming?”

From across the kitchen, Lysia was trying not to laugh at the image of a confused Kamilah who just met a hormonal seventeen-year-old jock for the first time in a very long lifetime. By the girl’s side, the other boy just shook his head negatively. “Later, I have my bike downstairs. See you two on Monday.”

 “Your call. Bye y’all!”

“Ahm. You. Nice. To meet. Farewell.” Nina blushed terribly, hesitating with the words, but melted when Annie gave her a quick goodbye hug.

After they were gone, the woman left the pot to cool off a bit, turning to see Drake’s silly smile to Lysia. She had been noticing how sweet he was around her daughter. “If you need, I can give you a ride home later. You can put the bike on the trunk.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Sayeed. But I’ll be fine. Let me take care of the cleaning.” The boy stood up and took the plates from the table, finally greeting Kamilah with a polite smile.

“Alright, if you insist. Kami, come with me?”

 Annie took her wife by the hand, leaving both teenagers to talk while doing the dishes. The Vampire still had a last piece of brownie that she gladly parted in half to share with the short woman who was hugging her by the waist. Annie took a bite from Kamilah’s hand, her eyes sparkling in the hallway’s lights.

“You seem so happy, my love.” The Egyptian kissed her lips, feeling the chocolate taste on them.

“I am always happy when I’m around you two.”

“I see what you mean.” Kamilah lost herself in that tight hug, listening to the adorable sound of Lysia’s laugh coming from the kitchen. “It feels good to be home.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #383

“the big bully try to stick his finger in my chest  /  try to tell me, tell me he’s the best  /  i don’t really give a good goddamn ‘cuz i got my lunchbox & i’m armed real well”

Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Well yeah. Most of my friends are online, and while I've seen pictures of most at least once or twice, some I still haven't. The last time you threw up, what caused it? It was a side effect of a mood stabilizer I started. Any foods from other countries you would like to try but haven’t yet? I'm sure there's something, idk. Do you think the world would be more peaceful without any religion? Yes. Have you ever had a stalker? No. Does it hurt your feelings when people talk shit about things you love? It makes me self-conscious way more than anything. I start to obsess over whether or not the person things poorly or weirdly of me for liking what I like. I just feel judged for liking it, but that's my problem. Do you like it when people give you nicknames? I do, actually. It feels kinda affectionate to me. Do you often find yourself checking out people’s butts? Haha I'm not gonna say it's never happened, but it's not something I make a habit out of for sure. What fandoms are you in? MEERKAT MANOR IS BACK BAYBEEEE, Markiplier, Silent Hill, Shadow of the Colossus, World of Warcraft, Spyro, Wings of Fire, and lots more, honestly. I'm into a lot of stuff, and I don't love in moderation, haha. Are there any fandoms you used to be in, but left? Yeah, like Supernatural, Good Mythical Morning, or Warriors, but it wasn't out of "I don't like it anymore" or anything, I just drifted away. Anything the fans in your fandoms do that pisses you off? World of Warcraft if particular has one of the most toxic fucking fanbases. There are so many goddamn elitists and people who whine about "boohoo WoW is dying" and "omg this game has been trash since Wrath" and yada yada yada and it's annoying as hell. They always find some shit to complain about. Then Silent Hill... ugh. I think people just hop onto the "the series sux after 1-4" bandwagon to fit in with a certain crowd, but that's not the main thing that annoys me; rather, it's the fact the former main admin of the SH wiki made a fucking joke out of us there. He was clearly having personal issues and made a HUGE and utterly ridiculous deal of Silent Hill 4 having heavy symbolism to the main character being obsessed with the bullshit idea of him being circumcised, and it led to a maaaassive thread of us members trying to talk some damn sense into him as he abused his power. He was finally banned by the Wikia staff, but not in time for some gaming websites to publish "news" stories about it because it was just that ludicrous. Now, YEARS later, we still get trolls coming onto the site to try and revive the drama by inserting absolute rubbish into pages or making new ones. Nowadays I'm the main administrator there, and it's fucking embarrassing sometimes. I'm supposed to keep the wiki under control and respected, you know? Ugh, I'll stop. I could rant for a very long time about this. Do you prefer ruffly or regular potato chips? Ruffly. Do you write down your own recipes, or just commit them to memory? I don’t cook. What color do you want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, lilac, and a light creamsicle orange. I REALLY want to dye it SOMETHING. :( How do you like your chicken? Of course breaded (like nuggets, tenders) is my favorite, but I also enjoy is broiled and seasoned well. There's other ways, but because I don't cook, I, uh... don't know how a lot are made lmao. Do you enjoy cheese fries? UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH YES. Do you eat refried beans? I absolutely hate beans, so no. What is a food you enjoy, but don’t have very often? A whole lot because a lot of it is from restaurants and we don't eat out all that much. As well, my diet is very narrow just because of how picky I am. Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Why? I mean, what are we comparing them for? I think Audrey is fucking gorgeous, though. Marilyn is also beautiful. Favorite fictional world? Uh, I dunno. Do you use lint rollers often? No. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want to. Has your power ever gone out for more than a day? I think so. Other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish Facebook had? Hm, I dunno. What time do your parents normally get home from work? Mom can't work right now, but I think Dad gets off around 5PM. Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Yep. Do you think it’s better to look for love or let it find you? Both can work, but I definitely prefer to let it find me. I feel that *in general* that usually has better results. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? No. I'm a very committed person romantically. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Have you ever had a rash from poison ivy? I don't believe so, no. Do you have any chairs in your bedroom? No. Did you watch Elmo as a child? Some, yeah. Do you know anyone who doesn’t eat meat? I don't think so, off the top of my head. When you throw up, do you cry? No, but I'm a whiner and will also shake from fear because I have such a phobia of vomiting. Doing it totally turns me into a baby. Who was the last person to carry you? I couldn't tell you the last person to full-on carry me, but back when I tore a ligament in my foot, my mom kinda had me lifted when she would help me walk. Is it easy for you to accept loss? Absolutely not. I handle it very, very poorly. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had a rolling back pack? Yes. Who knows you better than anyone else? My mom, probably. Would you ever want to go to Brazil? Sure, if the opportunity came up. Are there any medical conditions that run in your family? A lot, mostly heart problems. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica imo. Who is the biggest jerk you've ever met? She was somehow my former best friend. Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never been in that situation, thankfully. What's a charity you would never donate to? I'm really not familiar enough with charities and their practices to know which ones are sketch or not. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you have any exes you'd consider dating again? Yes. What were some of your favorite classes you took in high school? Art and German. Mythology was fun, too. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Yeah, I have a cousin that's a lawyer. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, outta curiosity. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like, two days. Part of the reason I left Girt was because I liked Sara. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? Chicken noodle soup. What's a movie series where the sequel was better than the original? Ha, for some reason Inspector Gadget came to mind. I guess from mentioning my childhood. I was FUCKING OBSESSED with that movie as a kid. The first one's fine, but I love the second one. Does your car have heated seats? Mom's doesn't. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing strange, really. Describe your hometown. What’s it like there? Small and dangerous. Lots of run-down areas. A gang nearly broke into our house once, if that helps you get the picture. What was the last video game you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 forever ago. What did you learn from your last failed relationship? It really just taught me that you need to take care of your own mental health before you can effectively handle another's properly and strike a healthy balance. What country does your favorite band hail from? Britain. What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done? Finish decorating my room. -_- Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it? Good Mythical Morning, I suppose. I used to be OB-SESSED. I still adore Rhett and Link as people, they are fucking wonderful human beings and excellent entertainers, I just drifted away from their content. I don't really know why. Do you sleep with the TV or the radio on? No. What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)? Menstrual cycles, I'd say. It affects your mood so much, and as someone who's bipolar, it can be very confusing. I like to know why I'm feeling a certain way. What movie has the best special effects? /shrug How many work hours per week is too much for you? I wouldn't know, I've never really worked long enough to figure this out. Can you remember your first day of school? I think I have the faintest memory of it. I know I was very scared to leave my mom (I had absolutely awful separation anxiety from her) and I MIGHT have cried, but I don't really recall with certainty. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No thanks. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Most, no, because the level of cringe is LITERALLY unbearable for me. Do you have a safe? Mom does somewhere. What’s the scariest thing to happen to you so far? The breakup. That night was just fucking terrifying. I was so certain my life was over, like the situation was so, so impossible in my head. What was your last dream about? (or your daydream if you don’t remember) My memory's faint, but I just remember I had a nightmare where a LOT of my bones were totally snapped in half. When was the last time you saw a relative? Excluding my immediate family, I last saw my now-departed grandmother and my uncle a while back at a hotel as they were passing through. Have you ever been in a TV audience? No. Are you in any way close to reaching a personal goal? Not really... Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Do you like making collages? Not really. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? No. What would you love to learn to do? Digital art, like drawing on a tablet. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Lemurs. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot, 100%. Are you more shy in real life or on the internet? I am WAY more shy irl.

[rorywinslowpatch]

My Story of COVID-19

We all have difficult days, weeks, months, even years. Keeping it simple, I can say my family and I had our fair share of hardships in 2019. My husband and I went into 2020 with hope that it could only go up from here. January and February were off to a good start. I was happy with my job and all the opportunities it was presenting to me. Life was finally going our way.

In early March, I was invited to attend a client event in Vail, Colorado. During this time, COVID-19 was a concern but there had only been a handful of cases confirmed in the United States. I had just returned from a conference in Miami, shaking hands with people from all around the world and thought, “If I didn’t get it there, I should feel safe going on this trip”. So, I went. I met some of the most genuine and intelligent people I’ve ever come across. Walking away from that event I knew I had friends I could call when I visited Philadelphia, DC, California, Florida, New York, even Brazil. It was truly the trip of a lifetime and I’ll always be thankful for such an incredible opportunity.

The week of March 9th. I had returned from Vail that Sunday and was back in the office on Monday. I was still exhausted from the amazing long weekend, sharing stories with my manager who had also attended the trip. It was about 4:00pm when I felt ‘off’. I remember explaining to my manager that I felt weird and my throat was sore when I had woken up and continued throughout the day. I asked if she minded if I left early to get some rest and come back ready to tackle it on Tuesday. Tuesday morning came and I still had this strange sore throat, it’s hard to explain, but I didn’t recognize this pain. I started to self-diagnose myself thinking…maybe its strep, allergies, weather change? I looked in my throat and saw some white spots so figured it was some sort of infection. I took a sick day and went over to Urgent Care. Reminder, COVID-19 had not hit the United States as hard as it had internationally. I walked in and felt immediately uncomfortable. It was packed and every single person was wearing a mask. I walked up to sign in and immediately took note to everything I touched – the counter, the pen, the paper work. After I was signed in the nurse let me know it would be about 2 hours, she wasn’t wrong. I struggled to find a spot to sit while keeping a fair distance from the other coughing patients. As I sat there I remember listing out the COVID-19 symptoms in my head to make myself feel safe – fever (nope), cough (not really), shortness of breath (nope), nausea (maybe it was a very long hangover from the trip?). I even got joking texts from my coworkers – “make sure you don’t have the rona”. As my mind spun out of control, I finally heard my name called. We do a strep test, negative. We then do a strep culture (I guess it’s more accurate), negative. The doctor said I definitely have Tonsilitis which is an infection in your throat from a virus, can be any virus. I asked the doctor if he thinks it could be the COVID-19 virus. His response, “No, because you haven’t left the United States”. Feww, I felt a sense of relief. He prescribed some antibiotics and I was on my way. On Wednesday I woke up with the same sore throat with an additional symptom, fatigue. I slept from 9pm on Tuesday to 10pm on Wednesday and then 11pm on Wednesday to 7am on Thursday. In the last two days I had slept 33 hours with brief moments to go to the bathroom and drink water. When I woke up on Thursday, I felt rested and my sore throat had gone away so I figured it was some sort of infection I had fought off and was on the mend. I went to work as we had our CRO in town and wanted to at least show my face. We had a happy hour after work for a colleagues work anniversary. As I walked into the bar I was told someone from the Vail trip had tested positive for COVID-19. I remember the gut wrenching feeling and the amount of exhaustion that suddenly flooded my body. I immediately panicked and called my sister in-law crying on the curb outside. She was trying to calm me down and said to just call the Urgent Care back that I had visited a couple days earlier and see if they knew where I could get tested. There, began the downward spiral of searching for information – WHERE COULD SOMEONE POSSIBLY GET TESTED. At the time, we didn’t have the testing resources we have now. Every new number I was given gave me another number to call, which resulted in a lot of frustration and worry as my symptoms got worse. I remember crying to my husband with the panic and unknown of COVID-19. I slowly learned no one had access to the test unless you walked into a select few hospitals in Georgia. I called around and found one that did, Emory Saint Joseph’s Hospital. On Friday, I walked right up to the front desk and said nervously, “I came in contact with someone that tested positive for COVID-19 and I have some of the symptoms.” She immediately told me to back up 3-steps and to wait for my blue suit. I was then asked to sit on a separate side of the waiting room as they moved others farther away from me. You could tell everyone was thinking the same thing. Maybe 2 minutes later they escorted me to a room by myself where the nurse asked me questions through a window – I verbally had to give my social security, insurance, and physical address. I spent the next 6 hours in the room having various tests done. First, they had to test me for the flu to rule it out (negative). They then performed two tests for COVID-19 - one swab in the nose and one in the throat. They then had to x-ray my chest to make sure I wasn’t developing pneumonia. Each time someone came into the room they had a very thorough process: sanitize their hands, put on a new blue suit, 2 layers of gloves, sanitize again, a medical mask, glasses, the plastic face shield. There were roughly 30 minutes in between each test and during that time many nurses would walk by my room labeled with a big red paper and black X, marking it was for a COVID-19 patient. As if, I didn’t feel like an alien already. I will say the doctors and nurses at Emory Saint Joseph’s Hospital made me feel as comfortable as they possibly could and were amazing describing each step of the process. As I left the room the doctor goes, “You’ll get a call in about 3-5 days with the results, but I doubt you test positive”. It was 12 days. During those 12 days of waiting, I found myself gaining more symptoms, which then came more anxiety and fear. I wrote down my symptoms each day in case the doctors needed me to recall anything. I kept all of these in my notepad on my phone, but I’ll save everyone some time and skip the details.

As the days went on more people from the trip were getting positive results. I think the actual ratio ended up being 70% of the people on the trip. During those 12 days, every moment was different. One day you feel worse than the day before and then the next you feel like you’re finally making progress. With those new symptoms, came defeat. It wasn’t until day 5 (after being tested) that my deep chest cough developed. I had some ‘dry cough’ on the first couple days, but nothing like this. It took 3 days to finally get a doctor to prescribe an inhaler without seeing me in person. They also sent over what I call ‘the miracle drug’, Tessalon Perles also known as Benzonatate. It was the tiniest pill I had ever seen. I immediately called my mom (which I was doing probably twice a day at this point) to see what it was. She encouraged me to take them as it would help with the coughing fits. IT WORKED, after 2 days of taking it the fits had subsided and I was slowly starting to have ‘proactive coughs’. Over the next few days I took a combination the ‘miracle drug’, mucinex-D, elderberry syrup, and a liter of water. As the coughing subsided, another symptom returned, fatigue. This wasn’t like the tiredness I was feeling before but more exhaustion. The smallest tasks were completely wiping me out – the dishes, vacuuming, folding laundry, etc.

March 18th. I remember this moment as if it was yesterday. If you aren’t someone that is open to faith, stop here.

I was having one of my defeated days and couldn’t see the light at the end. My husband was out on the porch talking to his mom. I felt the need to clear my head but couldn’t walk more than 10 minutes without having to take a break so I decided to drive around instead. I was driving down one of my favorite roads in Atlanta, bopping my head to the music because I didn’t have the lung capacity to sing along. Realizing why I wasn’t singing, I started to cry. I pulled over in one of the neighborhoods and completely let it out. I was crying, snot everywhere, and of course I couldn’t find those stupid napkins you are supposed to leave in your glovebox. I took a moment to settle my breath and started to talk. At the time, I want to think I knew Who I was speaking to. I had just started to go to church about 8 months ago for the first time in my life. To be fair, I was still skeptic but open to the idea of a higher power. I started rambling in my car at the end of some random person’s driveway. I was saying it all – how scared I was, the unknown, the lack of control, frustration of not having my results, worry of job security, everything came out. Then, all of a sudden, I found myself praying for the first time. I prayed for guidance..support…anything that would give me some sort of relief. I looked at the time and realized I had been talking to myself for over an hour. I started up the car and made my way back to our place. I walked in and my husband asked where I had been but only shared that I had taken a drive to clear my head. The next few days I wasn’t feeling any new symptoms just the constant struggle to breathe normally and exhaustion with simple tasks. Tuesday morning I got the call. It rang and I knew what they were about to tell me. At this point, I was out of the woods and whatever the results were, I had overcome the worst of it. It was positive.

Jump to a few weeks later. Georgia slowly started opening up but we still weren’t back in our offices. I had done some research and heard about how intravascular plasma was saving patients that were severely ill with COVID-19. Atlanta Blood Services was a local platelet donation center that opening their seats to recovered COVID-19 patients to donate their plasma. I immediately signed up and they got me in 2 days later. They had a round of questions and tests they needed to do before I could donate. I sat down with the research technician and they walked me through the questions – how did you get it, date of last symptom, etc. They then tested me again for COVID-19 to make sure I wasn’t still contagious, it came back negative. They then took a sample of blood from my left arm to test for the antibodies, which came back positive. They then guided me to the donation chair and I sat there for about 2 hours. I couldn’t help but watch the tubes take the blood out of my arm, recycle it inside this very noisy machine, push this yellow type liquid into these bags hanging above my chair (the plasma), and then the machine pushes the red blood back into my body. It was truly amazing seeing what medicine was doing to defeat this pandemic. I continue to go back every two weeks to donate my plasma.  

Now, fully recovered, I look back and am thankful this happened to me. I am thankful I didn’t develop phenomena. I am thankful of the person I found within myself. I am thankful I found my faith when I needed it the most. The world has a funny way of making you realize your purpose on earth. COVID-19 led me to my faith, which allowed me to see what I want my future to be. I wake up every day with a positive attitude, thankful to see what the future has in store for me, striving to have an open mind and heart. I found myself with the wrong priorities before and made it a goal to push myself to find what I love to do every day – at home and at work. I started this story with the idea that 2020 was worse than 2019. I move forward with 2020 with a new outlook and perspective. I couldn’t be more grateful for where this bumpy road has led me. Thank you, for opening my eyes.

[estamos-destinadas]

I saw some people’s headcanons about JULIANTINA’s Hogwarts Houses and it seems a lot of us are agreed that they’d either be in Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. I want to think that both of them will be in Gryffindor because a) they’re both very brave, and b) think how cute they would be just cozying up in the Gryffindor common room together.

But...

Here’s the thing...

If they were magical, they wouldn’t go to Hogwarts. They live in the Americas. They’d go to one of the two biggest magical schools in that continent: Ilvermorny (USA, North America) or Castelobruxo (Brazil, South America). In this essay, I will--

(Sike, because I am subverting that meme)

WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD

Ilvermorny

I think that between Ilvermorny and Castelobruxo, Val and Juls would go to Ilvermorny.

(Before I continue, it needs to be said: JK Rowling coming up with a school in North America that is just a copy of Hogwarts is problematic because it ignores Native American history. In my headcanon, there are several magic schools all over the Americas with a format/system that is more based on Native/Indigenous American cultures. However, Ilvermorny just happens to be the biggest school in North America. It’s an unfortunate side effect of colonialism.)

Valentina, as a Mexican, would have had the option of going to a school in Mexico that teaches a magic system that is more connected to the land’s indigenous magic and harks back to the Aztec Empire. León Carvajal sends her to Ilvermorny because that’s where he went and that’s where he met Val’s mom. His family has always gone to Castelobruxo, but he broke tradition and chose Ilvermorny, in a way setting up Val and Juls’ meeting in that same school. In any case, the Carvajals have always chosen the big European-based schools over the smaller magic school in Mexico because the Carvajal family could trace its lineage directly back to the Spanish conquerors. Like it or not, the Carvajals chose to be educated in a system introduced by European colonists. Your fave is problematic.

Juliana, on the other hand, was born to No-Maj Muggle parents in the USA. While she is Mexican through and through, the small magic school in Mexico simply do not have the resources to find her. Had Chino not dragged Lupe to the US, Juls would have have been invited to study in Mexico’s smaller magic school. In a way, Chino’s actions also set up Juls and Val’s meeting in Ilvermorny. And so Juls goes to North America’s largest magic school, reluctant because she does not want to leave Lupe alone in Chino’s abusive hands, terrified because everything is completely new to her, but also a little bit excited because magic is real.

Their Houses

Like Hogwarts, Ilvermorny has 4 houses: Horned Serpent (mind), Wampus (body), Thunderbird (soul), and Pukwudgie (heart). I think that JULIANTINA could be in Thunderbird or Pukwudgie, and I really really want them to be in Thunderbird but ultimately I think they’d both be in Pukwudgie. (Ridiculous spelling, I know.) Ilvermorny first years are sorted in the middle of the entrance hall with the older students watching them from a balcony on a higher floor.

First glimpse

Valentina is in her third year (13 years old) when Juliana starts her first (11). This is how their first glimpse of each other goes:

From her spot on the balcony, Valentina watches curiously as Juliana shyly steps up to be sorted. It takes a several minutes for a decision to be made -- the same thing had happened with Val 2 years ago -- but finally she is sorted into Pukwudgie. The older students from her new House cheer, Valentina among them. Juls looks up at the balcony and locks eyes with Val, who gives her a smile which she managed to return nervously before shuffling away from the middle of the room.

A couple of months pass before Val & Juls become friends, but more on that later.

Life in a Magic School

In my headcanon, Mexico has one magic school. Most Mexican wizarding families send their children to this school. However, most of the old money families who are direct descendants of the conquistadores (or those who want to seem old money) send their kids to either Ilvermorny or Castelobruxo. In Ilvermorny, these rich or at least well-off Mexican kids form a glamorous circle, set apart from the rest of the students by the language they speak and the wealth of their families.

In Val’s year, the circle of wealthy Mexican kids consist of herself, Sergio, Lucho, and Nayeli. Sergio is also in Pukwudgie and she considers him her best friend, at least until she and Juls start to bond. Lucho and Nayeli are both in Wampus. (Val is not dating Lucho, they’re only 13 years old. In this story, she will never date Lucho.)

Guille and Eva are also part of that glamorous circle. Guille is in his 5th year, a Pukwudgie like Val. Lots of girls have crushes on him because he’s handsome and nice. Eva is in her 6th year and is in Horned Serpent, like her father before her. She is a prefect, has been since her 5th year, and will undoubtedly be the next Head Girl when she’s in 7th year. She’s that brilliant, overachieving student that everyone knows and respects or fears.

There are other cliques of course: the WASP-y kids, the Latinx kids who live in the US or Canada, black girl magic, etc overlapping with the Transfiguration nerds, the music lovers, the jocks, etc overlapping with the Muggle-borns.

The first few months

Juls doesn’t really feel like she fits in any of the established cliques/groups; she’s Mexican but she’s dirt-poor, she’s a US-born Latina but she’s Muggle-born, she’s Muggle-born but she’s not white. She’s an 11-year old daughter of a sicario who had to leave her mother, the only person she trusts, and she’s thrust into a completely new environment where she feels different from everyone else. She feels like a sore thumb in that school full of happy kids who’ve known about magic all their lives, so she does her best to keep her head down.

She makes friends anyway. Or at least a couple of her fellow 1st year girls who have been “best friends since birth” sort of adopts her because it’s Juls and the right kind of people can’t help but want to take her under their wing.

Juls meets Jane first. Jane’s family has always been magical and her grandmother came to the US from Venezuela. (Yes, it’s Jane the Virgin.) Jane is in Horned Serpent, but she and Juls have a class together and they pair up on an assignment during the second week of school. She thinks Juls is interesting so she tries to draw Juls out of her shell, inviting Juls to hang out with her and her best friend Lina who is in Wampus. But as friendly as Jane and Lina are -- and Juls really likes them -- they’ve been best friends for so long, both their families are magical, and they’re both straight so sometimes they talk about things that Juls simply can’t relate to. It’s fine, of course, they still become good friends with Juls, but no matter how inclusive they are, Juls will always feel like the odd one out with them.

Often, Juls goes off on her own, exploring the grounds outside in the very early morning or searching for secret nooks and crannies inside the castle. She’s trying to learn everything she can about magic by experiencing it even as she continues to keep out of everyone’s way.

Valentina, on the other hand, roams around Ilvermorny like she owns it, the way all the Carvajals do. But whereas Eva struts through corridors expecting everyone to get out of her way, and Guille ambles through hallways seemingly untroubled by anything, Valentina runs around the school like it’s a playground.

Val and her group of friends cause a lot of trouble for themselves, sneaking out after hours, skipping classes, sometimes even pranking other students. Val of course never goes too far as to be actively bullying, but Lucho and Nayeli do. She doesn’t like it and she stops them whenever she can, but she still hangs out with them anyway. Guille quite obviously doesn’t like them, but he never voices his disapproval. Eva doesn’t really care about whether Val’s antics inadvertently hurt someone else, but she does care that Val, in her words, “isn’t living up to her potential”. The thing is, Val doesn’t think of Ilvermorny as a place to learn so much as an escape from the Carvajal house, which has been cold and gray ever since her mom’s death.

So for the first several weeks of Juls’ first year, Valentina and Juliana have no interaction. Still, they notice each other. Of course they do. They are in the same house after all. But that’s not the only reason they notice each other. For Juls, she can’t help but be interested in the pretty older girl with a loud and easy laughter and sky-blue eyes that seem to cloud over when she thinks no one’s looking. For Val, she can’t help but be intrigued by the pretty new girl who rarely breaks out into a genuine smile but whose dark brown eyes twinkle whenever she does.

El Dia de Muertos

Eventually, a little over two months after school started, Valentina and Juliana meet properly on el Dia de Muertos, when Mexicans celebrate their dead.

Valentina, Guille, and Eva forego dinner at the Great Hall. Instead, they go to a small trophy room near the Thunderbird dormitories, bringing traditional food and offerings with them. Their late mother was in Thunderbird and she had a lot of achievements at Ilvermorny; a lot of plaques in that Thunderbird trophy room have their mother’s name on it. Even though none of them are in their mother’s house, Thunderbird students know to avoid the trophy room on el Dia de Muertos, giving that room to the Carvajal kids for that one day. The Carvajals sit on the floor in front of a shelf containing their mom’s trophies as they talk to their dad, contacting him through magical means of course. After they hang up Eva and Guille tell Val stories about their mom. Eva and Guille stay until curfew, but Val has always insisted to stay behind and, in this one instance at least, Eva lets her.

Juliana, even though she grew up in the US, has always celebrated el Dia de Muertos with her mom. Chino is never around on said day so, in a way, it belongs to her and Lupe. After having dinner with Jane and Lina that night, Juls goes to contact her mom. It’s not easy to contact anyone by Muggle means in a place as full of magic as Ilvermorny, but several years ago one resourceful Muggle-born student had set up a room where anyone can contact the Muggle world through phones that are also provided in the room. So Juls goes to that “Phone Room” and calls Lupe. In her 2 months at Ilvermorny, Juls has always missed her mom, but she has never missed being back at their small trailer until that day. She impulsively talks about quitting school but of course Lupe stops her. They talk for a long time and when they hang up, Juls realises that she’s broken curfew for the first time ever.

Ilvermorny’s “Phone Room” is right next to the Owlery which is near the Thunderbird dormitories. Juliana has to pass by the Thunderbird trophy room to go back to the Pukwudgie dorms.

As Juls walks by the trophy room, she hears sobbing from inside floating through the slightly ajar door. Concerned, she peaks around the door to see a girl at the far end of the room, her back to the door. Juls can see that it’s Valentina and her concern grows.

Before she can stop herself, Juls asks, “Estas bien?” (In Spanish, because Juls knows Val speaks Spanish. And they will always speak in Spanish to each other unless the situation necessitates otherwise.)

Val sits up straight, but doesn’t turn around. “Fine. I just want to be alone.”

“Sorry,” Juls says. “It’s just that I heard you crying, I thought-- but you’re right.”

Juls makes to withdraw from the room just as Val turns around to see who the interloper is. When she realises it’s Juliana, she calls, “Oh, wait, sorry. Don’t go.”

Juls takes that as invitation to enter the room and join Val. She sits on the floor next to her and looks up at a moving portrait of a woman that looks like an older version of Val.

“That’s my mom,” Val says candidly even as she wipes away her tears. “She died when I was a kid.”

“I’m sorry,” Juls says sincerely, hating the grief she can see in Val’s expression even as she thinks of her own mom. “I can’t imagine...” she trails off, not knowing what to say.

“It was a long time ago,” says Val, shrugging.

Juls takes in Val’s watery eyes and thinks, but you’re still hurting. She doesn’t say that out loud. Wanting to take Val’s mind off of it, she says instead, “Your robe is really beautiful.”

Val’s not wearing her school robes. Instead, she’s wearing a white robe-like top paired with a billowy pants. The white robe has that typical el Dia de Muertos design of a skull and flowers but from time to time, the flowers would bloom and spread around the shoulder area, covering it with colour. Juls has seen moving portraits and pictures in the two months she’s been in Ilvermorny, but this is the first time she’s seen moving images on a robe.

Val looks over at Juls, who is also not wearing her school robes. Unlike Val’s magical clothing, Juls’ casual attire consists of Muggle jeans and a red shirt that has a skull and flower design which she painted on herself as a nod to that day.

“No, don’t look at me,” Juls says self-deprecatingly. “I-- I’m new here, my parents are No-Maj. I didn’t know about magical clothes, or anything about magic really.”

“Well, I think you have plenty of style,” Val says, genuinely liking Juls’ clothes. “Anyway, magic isn’t everything.”

“You don’t think magic is amazing?” Juls asks.

“No,” Val replies surely. To her, it’s just a fact of life. Magic couldn’t even save her mom.

“Well, give me your wand then,” Juls says in her best threatening voice, producing her own wand out of her back pocket and pointing it at Val.

Val stares at Juls in shock until Juls bursts out laughing, saying it’s a joke. Val hides her face in her hands, half-laughing and half-sobbing, so Juls puts down her wand and pulls Val to her, telling Val not to cry.

After they both stop laughing, Val straightens up and offers her hand to Juls. “Valentina,” she introduces herself properly.

“I know,” says Juls, and that makes Val smile widely. “Juliana,” she says, taking Val’s hand.

Val also replies with an “I know,” and they laugh again, both amazed that the other already knows their name, and happy that they have finally properly met.

They continue talking, mostly about their House sorting experience, because Val originally wanted to be in Thunderbird like her mom but she was sorted to Pukwudgie. They also recall Juliana’s sorting, when Val was watching her from the balcony. They soon decide to call it a night because it’s way after curfew. They try to be quiet as they head back to the Pukwudgie dormitories, but they keep bursting into giggles for no reason that it’s a miracle none of the roving prefects catch them.

A friendship blooms

The next day is a school day and Juls drags herself out of bed even though she didn’t get enough sleep. She goes to the Great Hall where, unlike Hogwarts, the seating arrangements aren’t segregated by Houses and students can sit anywhere they please. Juls sits with Jane and Lina, trying but failing not to look around for Val. But Val, who was never a morning person, is running late and hasn’t gone down yet. It isn’t until Juls is leaving with Jane and Lina for their first class of the day that Val hurries into the Great Hall. Val sees her and gives her a wave, which Juls returns along with a small smile, but Val gets called over by Eva so she doesn’t approach Juls. Lina, who has witnessed the exchange, interrogate Juls, walking with her and Jane even though she has a different class.

“Did Valentina Carvajal just wave at you?” Lina asks.

“Um, yes?” Juls says, confused at the awe in Lina’s voice.

“How does she even know you?” Lina presses on.

Jane pipes up then. “They are in Pukwudgie together.”

“Yeah, but still, Valentina Carvajal.”

Jane shakes her head and rolls her eyes good-naturedly.

“What, it’s a big deal!” Lina says defensively.

"Why is it a big deal?” Juls asks.

Lina looks at Juls in disbelief. “Why...?” She starts to explain, but then thinks of something else. “Are you friends with Guille too? He’s in Pukwudgie. Can you introduce me to him?”

Jane laughs at that. Juls is still waiting for Lina’s answer on what the deal is, but they have arrived at hers and Jane’s class. Lina leaves them, but not before asking Juls again to introduce her to Guille.

“Why does Lina think it’s a big deal that I know Valentina?” Juls asks Jane as they take their seats. “Is it because she has a crush on Guille? Because I don’t know him. I’ve only spoken to Valentina last night.”

Jane gives her a sort of pitying look before replying. “See that book you’re holding? Open it to the copyright page.”

Juls does so and she sees that the book is printed by Grupo Carvajal Publishing.

“Grupo Carvajal publishes most of the textbooks used here,” Jane explains. “They’re the biggest publisher in Latin America, but they also publish a lot of English books. I’m pretty sure they have their own newspaper in Mexico too. But it’s not only that. The Carvajals are one of the oldest wizarding families in the Americas, at least of the ones that originated from Europe. They’re definitely one of the most powerful and influential. And, if what I’ve read is true, Valentina and her siblings are descended from Isolt Sayre through their mother.” Isolt Sayre is the founder of Ilvermorny.

“Oh,” is the only thing Juls can say. She knows of course that the Carvajal kids are rich and popular, but she had no idea until now of the extent of their family’s wealth and power. Lina was right, it is a huge deal. She previously hoped that she and Val could be friends, but right now she’s feeling the huge gap between their status in the wizarding community, in any community really.

Sensing Juls’ thoughts, Jane says that just because the Carvajals are rich and powerful, it doesn’t mean that they’re better than everyone else. “Besides,” she adds, “from what I’ve seen, I think Valentina doesn’t care about stuff like that. She’s really nice and friendly with everyone.”

For Juliana, that doesn’t take away the fact that she’s like mud to Valentina’s sky.

Juls tries to avoid Val after that, tries being the operative word. She only manages to do so for a day, and only because Val, who has no idea Juls is even avoiding her, is serving detention for some trouble she got up to a couple of weeks ago (to Eva’s annoyance). On the weekend, three days after they first spoke to each other, Val finds Juls.

Juls is by herself in a quiet and half-secluded area of the castle grounds, not doing homework but practicing a spell that ought to make her drawings move. So far, she has only succeeded in lighting her sketches on fire.

On another part of the grounds, Val is with Eva and Guille laying flowers at Isolt Sayre’s tomb, which has been part of the castle since the founder’s death. They’re walking back to the castle when Val catches sight of Juls. She hurriedly excuses herself from her siblings, checking out halfway through a conversation about their dead ancestors. Eva and Guille can only stare curiously after her as she practically skips towards Juls.

“Señorita,” Val says mischievously, sneaking up on Juls from behind.

Juls, who is just about to cast another spell on her drawings, jumps in shock, accidentally sending a stream of magic towards the ground.

“Ai, me asustaste,” Juls breathes out.

“Hi,” Val greets her properly, giving Juls an almost shy smile.

Juls can’t help but smile back, forgetting for a second about what she’s learned about the Carvajals. “What’s up? How are you?” she asks eagerly.

“Better,” says Val, nodding. “My siblings and I were just at the tomb because we didn’t get to drop by the other day.”

Everyone knows that “the tomb” can only mean the school founder’s resting place; just like that, Juls is reminded about how different their families are. “Oh, right,” she says, losing her enthusiasm, but still putting on a smile for Val.

Val scrambles to prolong their conversation. “I like that,” Val says, pointing to Juls’ Muggle sketchbook, which has fallen closed on the ground. It’s a little singed at the edges after Juls’ experiments, but there are pretty and colourful patterns on the front which Juls drew on herself.

“Really?” says Juls.

“Yeah. I-- I want something just like that,” says Val, meaning the drawn patterns.

Juls thinks Val means the sketchbook itself and she doesn’t believe her. Val’s family publishes magical books; her sketchbook is old, not at all magical, and now singed in places.

“I should--” Juls begins vaguely, picking up her sketchbook. She stands back up only to come face to face with Val’s eager smile.

“Wanna come with me?” Val asks, an idea forming in her head. “I wanna show you something. Please,” she adds in a barely audible whisper.

“I’m trying to learn this spell,” says Juls.

"What spell? I-- I’ll help you.”

“Really?” says Juls. She actually believes that Val knows the “animation spell”, but she doubts that Val will really want to take valuable time out of her day to teach her something.

“Yes, I’m-- I’m a great teacher,” Val says. “But like... what spell are we talking about, because I might not know. But I can still help you! I-- I’ll help you look up stuff or something.”

Juls laughs. Val’s willingness to help is making her forget about their different status in life; or rather, she’s starting to think that maybe it doesn’t matter so much. She likes Val and it seems that Val likes her too.

“I’m trying to make my sketches move like in those moving pictures in books, but they just keep catching on fire,” Juls tells Val.

“Oh!” says Val, surprised that she has an answer. “I know that needs potions, but I’m actually not great at potions at all.” In fact, her last disaster in potions class happened earlier that week; thankfully, it was not quite as bad as that time she accidentally turned all her classmates’ hair into flashing rainbow colours.

“But this book says I only need to use this spell,” Juls says, meaning a book on “recreational spells” that she borrowed from the library.

Val eyes the book suspiciously. It’s thin and doesn’t look reputable at all. “Yeah, if you drew it using quills with special ink.”

“Oh, I only used these coloured pencils, they’re not magic,” says Juls, disappointed. She doesn’t have special quills and she’s sure she’ll require money to get those.

“That’s fine!” Val says bracingly. “You just need to soak it in a potion. I don’t know how it’s made, but I’m pretty sure you can order it from apothecaries.”

Juls thinks that she doesn’t have money to buy anything, but that’s a worry for another day. She wants to spend time with Val now. “You know what, I’ll leave it for later. What were you going to show me?”

Val brightens even more. “It’s a room in the castle, but it’s better if you see it than if I explain it.”

“Ok,” Juls says agreeably as she gathers her things.

Val grabs her hand and leads her towards the castle and Juls follows willingly. Behind them, flowers start to bloom on the ground at the spot that Juls’ spell hit earlier.

Val brings Juls to this abandoned room full of old magical artwork. Val found it during one of her explorations when she was still a first year. She loves finding hidden treasure in that room in the form of magical drawings and even some non-magical ones. She even showed the room to her friends, but none of them is as interested in it as Juls clearly is now.

They spend a couple of hours in that room, Val showing Juls her favourite pieces as they talk about magical art and the process of creating it. Juls even talks about non-magical art, and Val listens to her intently partly because she’s taking No-Mag Muggle Studies but mostly because she thinks Juls has really interesting ideas.

Later, they go to lunch at the Great Hall together. Their respective friends wave them over, but Val only waves back at her friends while Juls tries to convey something like “rain check, I’m having lunch with Val,” in improvised sign language. Val’s friends -- Lucho, Nayeli, and even Sergio -- look at them with raised eyebrows because “is Val really hanging out with that poor first year?” Juls’ friends have a different reaction. Lina is like, “she really is friends with a Carvajal,” while Jane is just like, “I’m glad, that girl seems nice.”

It will be a few years before Vale & Juls get together, they’re still very young after all, but after that day they become each other’s best friends.

Juls still hangs out with Jane and Lina of course but she spends most of her time with Val and they don’t hold it against her.

Val actually stops hanging out with her friends for a while because they said something she didn’t like about Juls, but Sergio apologises to her and Juls after a few weeks so she continues hanging out with him. It’s impossible to avoid him anyway, they are both in the same year and in the same house. Lucho and Nayeli take longer to apologise; Val decides to let what they said slide just that once, but she doesn’t hang out with them that often anymore because she prefers hanging out with Juls.

Guille, who never liked Lucho or Nayeli, greatly appreciates seeing Val spend her time with the nice first year girl in their own House. Eva approves because Val's grades have started improving and she has stopped getting into trouble by breaking curfew.

It’s not that Juliana’s studiousness is influencing Valentina, because she’s not studious at all. She’s just so curious about magic that Val ends up learning more because she wants to help answer Juls’ questions. And unbeknownst to anyone else, Val still continues sneaking around the castle after hours, this time with Juls. It just so happens that Juls, who knows how to be sneaky and stealthy from years of dealing with her dad and his associates, is so much better at not getting caught than a bunch of rich kids who’ve never known danger in their whole lives.

Thus, Valentina and Juliana learn magic together, and actually have fun while doing it. But that is just the beginning.

(Aaaannnnd... that’s it for now, because this has gotten way too long. I’m thinking that Vale & Juls will get together when Val is in her 6th year and Juls is in her 4th, but I don’t know if I even have the mental juices to think about it now, or even write it later. This post exhausted me.)

[sapphiresea]

ECCC – The Wayhaught Experience

Hey guys! So a couple people asked that I write about my experience at Emerald City Comic Con, and I did! It’s a bit long, so it’s below a cut because I had a lot to say, but I also trimmed it down a bit for better fit. (Pictures included.)

Now, let me start by saying my plan for the weekend was really simple. I was getting Dom and Kat to each sign my group photo from last year, and on top of that, I was getting another autograph from Dom to use as my tattoo – asking her specifically to write “I’m here and I stay” for me. Then, I was going to get a selfie with each and a duo photo op. Yeah. Let’s not talk about how much extra money I dropped because I decided they were too amazing and wanted to capitalize on this convention as much as possible. But also, I definitely do not regret it.

So once I got my ticket, I headed straight to the building where they had autographs, photo ops, and main stage panels. Although her line was longer, I decided to see Dom first, then Kat, during their first autograph session of the con.

I wasn’t too far back in Dom’s line, which was cool, and it felt pretty fast to get to see her, even though she was chatting with everyone. Two people in front of me were trying to get a selfie and Dom was holding out the camera trying to position it so they were all in frame and it looked like a major struggle bus for someone short, so I offered to help. She immediately thrust the phone at me and very politely agreed and thanked me. So when I got to the front, she was like, “Hello again!”

She was confused by the instruction of her manager for what I wanted for the tattoo, but as soon as I said it, she knew immediately what I meant. She pulled a multicolor pen from her fanny pack, clicked the blue and said she would write it a couple of times to make sure I had what I wanted. The second time was perfect, though. I told her that last summer had been particularly hard and that I had lost a lot of people I cared about, and that Jolene had really helped me to get through some of those nights, and got me to five years clean (which received a “wow” from her). I said that listening to her talk about anxiety in the Black Badge podcast had very much helped inspire me to send in my grad school applications and that I had just been accepted into all the schools to which I applied, and she was really impressed. I can’t remember exactly what she said, but I do remember her saying, “Isn’t it amazing? You’re so afraid of doing something and there’s no reason for it! You got into every school!” She asked where I was planning to go, so I told her I picked York University in Toronto and she said that was awesome and “right around the corner from Kat!” She also asked what I was studying, so I told her quant psych/statistics, and I don’t think she connected as much with that, but she was still very sweet about it. I thanked her and got a really cute selfie before moving on to meet with Kat. 

Kat was a completely different energy altogether! Dom was very mellow and sweet, like she really lives up to that hippie vibe, but Kat was much more intense, full eye contact, leaning forward, asking a bunch of questions.

I got up to her pretty quickly, as the lines weren’t long so early on Friday. I was having her sign my group photo from last year’s Calgary Comic Expo and she recognized it immediately and asked if that’s where I’m from. She was very excited when I said, “yes.” I said I had just flown in that morning before coming and that I was living off about 45 minutes of sleep. She was like, “Oh, so you’re here, but you’re like, I’M HERE BUT I’M A LITTLE BIT CRAZY!?” Which…yeah, pretty much! 

I told her I was excited just to be there, though, because the trip was a graduation present and a celebration because I got into every grad school to which I applied. She was stunned and congratulated me and I replied that it was really cool because it was a highly competitive program and I didn’t think I would get in at all. She asked what I study and I told her quant psych, and that there’s only four schools in Canada that have that program and most only have a couple spots each per year. Her eyes went huge and she congratulated me again. She said she was sure I’d make the right choice of where to go, and when I said I had just accepted the offer from York, she asked if I meant the one in Toronto and was stoked when I said “yes.” She told me York was an amazing school and I would absolutely love it. She added that she had considered York for undergrad because they had a theater program there, and then had almost gone there for an MBA when she didn’t think acting would work out. I told her my best friend had just gotten her MBA from there and she was like, “See!? It’s an amazing school!” and started talking up Toronto and how much I would love it. That made me pretty jazzed, really. We actually ended up talking much more than I thought before taking two selfies (they’re pretty similar, so I only included my favorite) and I had to run for a photo op unrelated to Wynonna Earp.

Right, so…Here is where the impulsivity of con life kicked in. And let me start this by saying: I did a great job at not blowing a ton of money on impulse buys for stuff. So what I spent here was almost kinda-sorta balanced, maybe? Don’t overthink it. I bought individual photo ops for Dom on Friday and Kat on Sunday.

I met this guy, David, in line for Dom’s photos, and we were chatting the whole time. He was really fun, and we ended up hanging out after. Anyway, it came up that I didn’t have a ticket for Saturday’s show and his son wasn’t going to be using his. He offered to let me buy it off of him and was able to get it for me before the end of the day! Amazing. And as it turned out, Saturday was an incredible day, as well, so I am immensely grateful that I didn’t end up missing it.

Here’s my photo op individual with Dominique. We don’t get a lot of chance to really talk during photo ops, but of course I asked for my usual funny faces, and when we were done, she joked that she’s certain that it was going to turn out really sexy. She was right. 

I changed my Sunday photo ops with Kat to be Saturday photo ops. I had chosen to wear a jacket I found a few months ago that was the same Waverly wore in season 2, and when I walked in, Kat exclaimed, “That looks familiar! Was it on the show?” I replied, “Yeah! Waverly had it.” And she was like, “Oh, Waverly had it! I remember that.”

I brought along fake moustaches to go along with her #SolidarityInStaches posts, and I didn’t even have to ask before she was like, “Can I pick whichever one?” Of course, yes, and she took the pink one. I picked a curly black one and pocketed the rest. She peeled off the sticker back to stick it to her face and gave a hilariously serious pose, while I just held mine up. As I left, she asked if she could keep it, and I said, “Definitely!”

I met up with my friend, Carole, after the live stage interview, and she was about to go see Dom and Kat again and in case no one’s picked up on a pattern yet, I’m weak, so I was like, “Cool, I’ll go have them sign my individual photo ops!” Plus, Kat was selling that photo of her and Bernie that was donating all of the proceeds went to Soi Dog, which is a great organization, so I decided to get an autograph for my best friend, who I got into Earper life a few months ago, who loves Kat.

This time, I saw Kat first, and I told her all about the friend she was signing for, because she recognized immediately that my name was not ‘Catherine.’ I told her I had tried for ages to get my friend into it and lure her in with great representation and storylines and humor… Finally I remembered a very important fact about my friend: her weakness is hot redheads. So I texted her a photo of Nicole and said, “Did I mention there’s a hot redhead lesbian?” and she immediately jumped at it. Kat thought that was hilarious and said my friend sounds awesome.

Since she was still signing, I spoke with her a bit about Pooched and she was so excited that I had watched the trailer and the live stream and enjoyed it. You can really tell how passionate she is about that project, and honestly guys, if you haven’t yet, you definitely should watch. I joked that my friends and I don’t have dogs, but we do treat our cats like that. She asked if my friends had ever thrown a birthday party for their cats and I told her I have one friend who did. I added that we’re honors students, which means we present almost every week in class and she will work her cat into every presentation. Sometimes it’s really creative. That really amused her. 

She also mentioned that she loved the moustache photo we had taken and that she had kept the pink moustache and was planning to take a picture with it later. I have no idea if she really will or if she’s lost it or anything, but I was just happy that she enjoyed it! I told her I had found a box of fake moustaches randomly in my room and she was like, “Do you know why you had them?” and I said, “I just know my mom bought them for me years ago and they were just sitting there until you started your moustache thing!” She said it was meant to be, or something like that.

Dom’s table was completely empty when I was done with Kat, so I hopped right over there. As I was paying for autographs, she noticed immediately the outfit I was wearing and exclaimed, “You’re wearing the Waverly shirt!” I replied that I had thrifted it, too, which she thought was great. As she started to sign, I told her my name is Steph because she hadn’t had it written down yet, and the volunteer asked if it was a P-H or F-F and I said, P-H, which prompted Dom to sing the spelling of my name in a cute little tune of S-T-E-P-H. It was really adorable.

I asked if it was strange coming back to North America after so long in Brazil, and she said it was, especially since she had been in the amazon with tribes and small towns, which was extremely different from anything like this, but that it was nice to be back, too. She talked a little about the importance of travel, and that she would really recommend seeing Brazil, because it’s a whole other viewpoint and understanding of ways of doing things. 

We started talking a bit about Start the Wave, and I asked about a post she made awhile back about being a no-waste traveler, since I find when I travel is when I become the most wasteful. She gave a few suggestions, like bringing your own bamboo utensils, water bottles, cups, etc. Apparently she had a whole other bag with “all that shit” which was a pain in the butt, but ultimately worthwhile. She said that she found you have to tell people right off the bat that you have your own things, so they won’t give you cups or straws or anything that will be wasted because you’re not using them. We also lamented the North American reliance on plastic water bottles a bit when I mentioned that, from how I had grown up, I used to rely almost entirely on bottled water until I switched to a good water bottle, and that my parents still just keep loads of bottled water in their fridge. She said her family does the same thing and it kind of drives her crazy when she opens the door and finds a whole bunch of bottled water. 

I saw that some other people were coming and it was toward the end of the day, too, so I said it was great chatting with her and hopped off. 

Sunday, I arrived extremely early for the Wayhaught panel to get good seats, which meant sitting through hours of 80′s music and the Stranger Things panel which came before, but that was actually pretty fun.

I wasn’t initially planning to ask a question, but I had finally come up with something funny that they’d never heard before, and I was like, screw it, and went up. I was the first person in line on the right side, so I was the second to ask a question. I just realized watching the video back that Dom waved at me and said, “Hi Stephanie,” in her sweet little British voice before I even introduced myself, so apparently she remembered and recognized me!? That’s actually really cool and I’m still trying to recover from it. I was super nervous, but they were really funny with their answers and I loved Dom’s fascination with the show. It was such a great atmosphere in there, and so much fun. It was really a bummer when the whole thing was over.

The next thing on my agenda was about an hour later for the duo photo ops. Side note: right before me, someone was doing a photo op with a lightsaber and Kat was playing with it. She was excited as heck that it made noises when she moved it. 

I walked in and Kat’s eyes locked on my sweater before she noticed my face. My sweater was an oversized York University shirt, so she exclaimed, “Oh my god, are you Canadian!?” And then she looked up and before I could reply, about a split second later, she mentally face-palmed and was like, “I’m so sorry! We had a whole conversation about this! You’re going to York for grad school! I remember!” I told her it was alright, I wasn’t offended or anything, but she insisted she remembered. So that was pretty nice. Although I normally do fun photo ops, I asked if we could just do a group hug, and they were like, “Of course!” and pulled me in for one. 

I’m not even going to pretend like I hadn’t already decided to go back for one last autograph session, but listen. I wasn’t the only one. The girls in line with me also went to every autograph session and they go to every convention with Dom and Kat, so I figured it’s fine. Plus, they were always really happy to see us. I will say, those line ups were really fun. Earpers really know how to make a line a good experience. And Dom’s line was long, so that was a very good thing.

My last meeting with Kat began with another apology for her question during the photo ops. Before I could even put down the picture I wanted her to sign, she looked me right in the eye and said, “I am so sorry, Steph! I do remember we had a whole conversation about York and grad school.” I replied that it’s perfectly okay and that honestly, I didn’t expect her to remember because I know she had met so many people over the weekend that I wouldn’t have been offended if she didn’t. She apologized and insisted again that she absolutely did (and given that she also addressed me by name multiple times without seeing it written down anywhere, I definitely believe her). It was really nice, though, even if it wasn’t necessary!

This was my moment to be a sap, though, and I told her that, although I’m sure she’s heard it a million times, it was really awesome to finally see a lesbian who’s alive and whose whole story doesn’t revolve around coming out and dealing with being gay as if it were the worst thing in the world or some obstacle to overcome or something, because it feels as if that’s all I’ve gotten to see. I told her that I’m only slightly younger than her (and then she asked my birthday, but I’m not sure why) and that it felt like my whole life I hadn’t really gotten to see representation like that. The first time I even heard the word ‘lesbian’ was as a derogatory term when Ellen Degeneres came out, and I was too young to even know what it meant. 

She was so kind and listened to every word, and it was really nice. It also spurred a conversation about Ellen, who she exclaimed her love for (we all know, Kat; we all know). We talked about her a bit and I mentioned that I’m also a big fan of Portia de Rossi and she said she’s really great, too, so I asked if she had ever read her book. She answered that she hadn’t and said she would have to add it to her list. I told her it’s about Portia’s eating disorder and her experience coming out as a lesbian, so if she’s in a dark place or just wants something light and fluffy, maybe skip to the epilogue. She seemed really interested in it, though, and asked the title. When I told her, she replied, “Wow, that’s beautiful! I am definitely going to take your recommendation and check it out!”  We then took the following selfie. I gave her the direction to do wide-eyed, open-mouthed excitement, and she was like, “Of course!” But you judge if that’s the look she actually made. I love them, though.

From there, it was on to Dom’s line, which, like I said was long. I got into it more than an hour before the convention was supposed to finish, and I was still in the overflow line when 5:00 PM passed. Kat still had a number of people in her line, as well, but not quite as many because she was going faster. Both of them insisted on staying for every fan, though, and even when Dom was being rushed and told to go faster with each of us, she made a point of apologizing that she couldn’t spend longer with a lot of people. It was very sweet. When Kat left, she waved to all of us to say goodbye and thank you for coming and that she hopes to see us at future conventions. 

To be honest, since I had already seen her that weekend, had I not already stood in the line for two hours by that point and paid for another autograph/selfie combo while in the line, I would’ve left so Dom could have gone home sooner, but since I had, I just made a point to be fast when I got up there. I pretty much told her that I thought she was spot on about Earpers being an incredible community, like she said in the panel, and thanked her for the weekend. When we had taken the selfie, I asked if I could hug her and she said, “Of course,” so I did, but that was about the extent of the interaction because it was undoubtedly a long day for her and I didn’t want to make it longer. 

That’s where my weekend experience ended with them, and honestly, you guys, it was really so awesome. I can’t quite tell you how awesome it was, or how energized I felt leaving. Earpers are amazing. Kat and Dom are incredible.I just love this whole fandom so much I could squeeze you all! But I’m done rambling for now.

[chimcharstar]

1 THROUGH 55 AND 1 THROUGH 30 GO GO GO

LETS FUCKIN GO

tumblr please actually make this a keep reading

55 interesting questions you should drop in someone’s inbox

1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

I ALREADY WATCH NETFLIX AND AGONIZE OVER MY STORY

2. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you’ve own/owned?

MY JACKETS. ANY CHEST OBSCURING, BROAD SHOULDERED, COZY JACKET

3. What hobbies would you get into if time and money wasn’t an issue?

DANCING, ID NEED TO GO TO CLASSES OR SOMETHING

4. What would your perfect room look like?

IM ACTUALLY PRETTY HAPPY WITH MY ROOM BUT IVE ALWAYS WANTED A LAVA LAMP, AND 1800 MORE PLANTS COULDNT HURT

5. Do you play sports?

NO

6. What fiction place would you love to go to?

SINNOH REGION

7. What Job would you be terrible at?

DEBT COLLECTION. I WOULD BE GIVING SHIT TO PEOPLE FOR FREE. I COULDNT BEAR BEING ENCOURAGED TO FORCE PEOPLE WHO CANT PAY FOR SOMETHING TO PAY MORE

8. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would it be?

SERVING. HOW MANY PLATES CAN YOU CARRY AT ONCE

9. What’s the most annoy habit other people have?

WALKING IN MY SPACE BUBBLE WHEN MY SENSES ARE OVERLOADED

10. What skill would you like to master?

A SECOND LANGUAGE

11. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?

THE ONE FROM MY DREAM WHERE I KISSED A GIRL DYED MY HAIR BLUE AND WE ELOPED TO BRAZIL TO RAISE SHEEP

12. What’s your favorite drink ?

THAT CHRISTMAS SHIT. PEPPERMINT MOCHA AT STARBUCKS. A FRIEND GOT IT FOR ME ONCE. NOW I ORDER IT A BILLION TIMES.

13. What state or country would you never like to go back to?

I HAVE NOT TRAVELLED MUCH EVER

14. What songs do you have completely memorized?

I DONT REMEMBER LYRICS SO MUCH, BUT I COULD PROBABLY REMEMBER HOW MANY SONGS GO COMPLETELY

15. Are you usually early or late?

LATE. IM GETTING BETTER THOUGH

16. What takes up too much of your time?

GETTING OUT OF BED

17. What do you wish you knew more about?

SWORDS

18. What are some small things that make your day better?

COFFEE. SOMEONE SAYING SOMETHING NICE TO ME.

19. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should?

QUEER EYE BUT BY TRANS PEOPLE FOR TRANS PEOPLE

20. Who has impressed you the most with what they’ve accomplished?

YOU. AND ME. ITS GROWTH

21. What age do you wish you can permanently be?

21, SO I HAVE TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCKS GOING ON

22. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?

13 REASONS, THE BOOK WAS TRIGGERING SO I WONT RISK IT

23. What would be your ideal way to spend you weekend?

TAKING A WALK, HAVING COFFEE, WATERING PLANTS… IM HAPPY

24. What’s something in your life that’s considered a luxury?

I HAVE PERFUME...

25. Is there anything you’re too young/old for?

TO YOUNG TO NEVER DRINK. TOO OLD FOR POKEMON

26. What’s your favorite genre book or movie?

I DONT HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN FOR EITHER BUT I SEEM TO LIKE URBAN FANTASY A LOT

27. How often do you people watch?

I THINK IM SO POLITE BUT HONESTLY, I QUIETLY SCRUTINIZE SO MANY PEOPLE ON THE TRAIN EVERY DAY AND GUESS AT THEIR PERSONAL HABITS AND SELF IMAGE.

28. What’s the best single day on the calendar?

MY BIRTHDAY, SAGITTARIUS SEASON RULES BABY

29. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?

I DONT KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING PPL HAVENT HEARD OF BUT IM INTERESTED IN BLACK HOLES

30. Do you relax after a hard day?

FOOD. NETFLIX. DECOMPOSING ON TUMBLR

31. What’s the best book or series you’ve ever read?

I HAVENT READ A BOOK I REALLY LOVE IN AGES. HARRY POTTER AND ARTEMIS FOWL WERE MY FAVOURITES GROWING UP, BUT CORNELIA FUNKES BOOKS SLAPPED AND HIS DARK MATERIALS WAS GORGEOUS

32. Where’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?

IDAHO?

33. What’s the most heart warming thing you’ve ever seen?

LUCIFER WAS LIKE YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR BORING MIDDLE NAME JANE AND KNOWS THAT EVERY MURDER BREAKS YOUR HEART AND YOU SIMPLY DESERVE BETTER SO NO MORE MOMENTS WHILE THEYRE HAVING A MOMENT AND CHLOE IS WATCHING THIS FUCKING IDIOT AND IVE WATCHED THIS BEFORE SO I KNOW SHES GONNA KISS HIM AND THEN THEY KISS

34. What’s the most annoying question that people ask you?

ANY SMALL TALK QUESTIONS

35. Would you give a 40 minute presentation with no preparation?

YES. ID MAKE THAT SHIT RIGHT UP. SKILLS

36. What’s something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

GIVE ME A HUG AND SOME CHOCOLATE

37. Would you rather go Hand Gliding or Whitewater rafting?

HANG GLIDING

38. Dream car?

SOMETHING I DONT HAVE TO WORRY WILL FALL INTO PIECES AT ANY MOMENT

39. What’s something so many people are obsessed with and you just don’t understand why?

STRAIGHT LOVE SONGS

40. What are you most looking forward to in 10 years from now?

HAVING A CAT

41. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but haven’t gotten to it?

DECORATING THE DOLLHOUSE I RESCUED FROM THE BATHROOM

42. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you all week?

IM NOT VERY FAR THROUGH THE WEEK AND I HAVENT ENJOYED MOST OF IT BUT PEOPLE SAYING ADORABLE THINGS

43. How different was your life one year ago?

NOT A LOT DIFFERENT, IM JUST LONELY IN THE CITY NOW, MINUS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, ONE YEAR ON T

44. What/who would you rate 10/10?

MY CACTUS JAKEN. I DROPPED HIM SO MANY TIMES AN ENTIRE HALF OF HIS SPIKES ARE FLAT SCARS. AND LOOK AT HIM. THRIVING

45. What kind of art do you enjoy the most?

GENUINELY MADE ART

46. What do you hope never changes?

MY T PRESCRIPTION

47. What movie title best describes your life?

I LOOKED THROUGH NETFLIX AND I PICK TWILIGHT

48. What website do you visit most often?

TUMBLR

49. What’s something you’re looking forward to this year?

MY BIRTHDAY

50. What’s something you’d like to unlearn?

FINDING A REASON TO CANCEL EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING

51. Where would you spend all your time if you could?

WALKING BY SOME RUNNING WATER

52. What age would you like to live to?

80. THATS MY MENTAL HEALTH ANSWER

53. What’s something you’re most likely to become famous for?

SOMETHING CREATIVE WOULD BE AWESOME

54. What’s something you’re most likely to be arrested for?

CRIMES

55. What’s something you really want but can’t afford?

A CAT

Lgbt+ ask game

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?

I’m even a little shaken by a questioning state right now but for a while I’ve felt the best fit is the androgynous label -- I read a description of it being the purple on a pink to blue scale, both at once but not specifically either one, and something else by itself. I’m also happy with a cryptic masculine grey area. My pronouns are he/him.

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?

During the Puberty 1.0 nightmare, I was basically living someone else’s life, and any attraction I felt wasn’t in relation to myself. I felt disconnected from my body and gender and everything too, and I felt a lot of social pressure to experience a certain type of attraction, fit into a certain role, et cetera, and none of these feelings existed in me at all, so I used to identify as ace. When I realized I was trans, I was too caught up in the, transition safely, my life is a lie, stopping dysphoria drama to focus on this, but I had an idea I might be a gay guy judging from my gay creative writing until I caught feelings for a girl and realized this wasn’t the first time that had happened. Some bi positivity and nonbinary rage later, I am reminded that gender is a joke.

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?

Yes of course A LOT. Starting with my parents, who do it aggressively and maliciously. And plenty from strangers and customers, mostly after hearing my voice pre-transition. It used to hurt terribly because I was dealing with so much other stuff at the time, and one little thing could be the last straw, so I used to react strongly and harshly, to people you express yourself to anyway. On T, I’ve been so much more chill and confident, and it’s less painful to accept that some people just don’t know any better, although that doesn’t change its effect.

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?

I don’t remember, I think it was a high school friend. I vaguely remember texting someone in a bathroom during a crying session at work. My high school friends were all warm and supportive.

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?

It was scary as hell. I’m sure coming out (with your gender specifically) is scary by nature because it’s a huge truth to be telling that can really change how the people you love perceive you, for better or for worse, but for me, I’m also thinking with the dread and certainty that my family would be too conservative and potentially dangerous. Coming out to my family was one of the worst, most painful things I’ve ever been through -- being kicked out and laughed at, a lot of drama, confrontations, Bible readings and being ganged up on at odd hours, trying to comfort my mom who took it as her personal failure -- I was shaking with adrenaline 24/7. I think of the “I’ll suffer through anything as long as it has meaning” comment that was about angsty fanfics, but knowing the truth about myself was a source of unshakable strength and it felt refreshing and even triumphant to say, like I was giving myself permission to exist for the first time. I came out a bunch of times, though...

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?

My family reacted mostly badly, my sister is a little confused but has the spirit, and my friends have been wonderful.

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?

It’s more of a gender thing, but I hate it when people imply that I shouldn’t be on T or are subtly trying to talk me out of it with their questions. After all the disrespectful as fuck bullshit I heard from my parents, I’m tired of this.

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.

Zombie apocalypse denim? Gay Layers

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?

I’m not really emotionally invested in these “ships” you cool kids are talking about. I like canon, age-appropriate ones.

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?

I’ve never really worn makeup. I brazenly never bothered to growing up, and if it had an effect on me socially, I was too tuned out to care. My sister always wanted to do my hair and makeup, but I wasn’t interested and wouldn’t let her, much to her frustration. I wore some for a musical once though, and I had no idea what I was doing and it was extremely uncomfortable. I felt what I know now is dysphoria and ended up using the lipstick to draw. Another aspect to this is my family forbade it (or my dad made the decision for everyone), not that it made my sister feel less pressured to wear it, so maybe it was some female presentation I could easily get out of. For that reason, I don’t have super strong feelings about it. Not understanding it probably resulted in me feeling left out a lot among my peers.

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?

Yes. Before my realization, it was a numb horror I wasn’t consciously aware of, ruining nice things growing up to the point where I feel like I missed out on being a teenager. I remember it as feeling nauseous while sitting in a corner, feeling like none of my clothes ever fit for some mysterious reason. Living with my family in the closet, it defined my life, and I was obsessed with my presentation. These days, it does not bother me on that level at all, except a minor freakout now and then if I get really wild and wear feminine clothes. Or I still feel it in more subtle ways, when I default to customer service voice, or when guys my age are twice my height and I look aaaall the way up at them and wonder what gender they see me as.

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?

Trust me, I have heard truck loads of dumb shit and the winner is the Gay Agenda is R****a’s propaganda to weaken the integrity of North America. Considering what is happening over there, it was enragingly stupid.

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?

I feel like I can be myself around lgbt+ people. I don’t feel like I have to hide stuff or put on a show, and I’m not afraid because it’s familiar territory.

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?

Aside from obvious problems like TERFs, ace discourse. Ace people are part of the community if they want to be and that’s enough on that, my skin is already breaking out.

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?

I finally went to a Pride event this year! I was surprised it was the first one I’d been to, then remembered my parents discouraged me from going anywhere, never mind to a gay where.

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?

I can’t think of many people right now, but Leslie Feinberg seems awesome, and some quotes from Stone Butch Blues are very validating.

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?

No. Technically I have been in one, but it was shitty and ridiculous, and basically platonic, and I don’t want it to count.

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?

I barely read… I read Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe in high school and it was honestly so precious.

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?

Yes. I got kicked out (but then kicked back in again), had my stuff stolen and damaged, was verbally harassed… and I was indirectly fired by an employer, but We Will Never Know Why...

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?

Queer Eye! I don’t know of many though, and some important ones, I just haven’t watched.

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?

My mutuals :D

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?

I’m okay calling myself queer.

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?

No, but I did see some drag performances at the one (1) Pride event I went to, and they were jaw-dropping.

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?

I’m not sure what this question means, but I decide what fits right by what makes me feel the most alive and emotionally real and in the moment. What makes me feel the most attractive to be honest. There’s a post about dysphoria I saw going around, the things on it are basically what I use to figure things out.

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?

I am actually! Not anytime soon, but I’m the responsible type for sure, and judging by the way I love growing plants and being around animals, I’m probably a nurturing person. I actually like kids too, lol, they’re just so high-energy.

What identity advice would you give your younger self?

You’re a boy. Go!

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?

I think people are going to have different ways of expressing themselves that make them happy, but… I don’t think they should infringe on basic human decency. When I hear “role” I think of acting a certain way because someone told you to, something I want to disagree with on the spot.

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?

People move out of my way on the sidewalk and take me seriously now. Privilege or self-confidence… I never want to forget what it used to be like, or get too entitled.

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?

That it’s simply living one’s reality. I think that trips up a lot of straight people -- that some people just come like this, and they don’t have to make it fit into their personal identity.

Why are proud to be lgbt+?

Because I worked hard to be alive and happy right now. I’m proud of choosing to get through those rough patches, take care of myself, heal, take walks, cook breakfast, learn healthy coping mechanisms, that was out of love for myself and a defiant conviction that I have a place in this world.

[getawaysarah]

HEY GUYS!!

I’m Sarah! I decided to tell a bit about my story with Taylor because after 10 years being a fan I finally got my chance to see her live! It’s quite personal so I debated a lot wether I should or shouldn’t post it. I wrote this weeks ago before the concert but it took me a bit of courage to post it online. Well…

I was born in Brazil in a super small town and with 6 years old I moved to this city with 15k people. I was always one to dream big, since little. My dream was to make it to the big world, learn languages, travel, get out of that city. I came across Taylor’s music when I was about 11 years old and Love Story was what made me love her. I have the sweetest memory of my friend and I dancing in the rain listening to it after school. I became obsessed with the fact that Taylor had made it to the big world. I could see a bit of me in her. Then the Speak Now era came and she was just so big with the tour and everything… I bought the dvd and watched it more times than I should. The first boy to ever break my heart was called John (so Dear John has a special place in my heart). I cried so many times listening to Long Live because I’d look at this person that worked and played guitar until her fingers would bleed and I’d see that hard work would pay off. At the same time I was being bullied in school and Mean held me up for an entire year of going home crying. Taylor started being my rock. I’d lean on her music and her interviews. I’d buy her magazines with the money my mom would give me for snacks at school. She was my best friend. Then Red came, and with Red the hardest time of my life began. I had 3 impossible years where I thought I wouldn’t make it. So I leaned into Taylor and whatever music I’d find to give me hope. I don’t like talking about it and I hate pity, but I wouldn’t be here without Taylor. In between those 3 years I moved school 3 times and moved to another bigger city. Got my heart broken. Got crushed by people. Got diagnosed with a disease that I didn’t have. Then got diagnosed with a disease I’ll have to deal for the rest of my life. I was crushed. And then when I was 17 and finished school I decide to apply for college in a big city and live all by myself. And that’s when things started changing. I remember going through the changes while Taylor was moving to New York and so much was going in both of our lives. Middle 2015 I applied for the International College Program that Disney offers and I got accepted. Taylor was going on tour and that was the first time I had hope I’d see her. When she went to Brazil during Red era my family couldn’t afford nor had the time to take me to Rio. So going to Disney would mean a chance… if the tour didn’t end one month prior to my arrival. I was devastated. I was ready to work and get the money. I was ready to do ANYTHING. After Disney I was better. So much better. My life was on tracks, I had motivation. But Taylor’s life was starting to crumble and people painted her to be this person she wasn’t. I knew she wasn’t. I defended her with teeth and nails. And she disappeared. We all knew she needed to take her time and it was ok. In the mean time I did a voluntary project in Hungary teaching kids english and I’d put her music for them because that’s what helped me learn english. I’d watch old interviews. And I kept growing. And now we have her back. End of last year I got an opportunity to move to Madrid and study business for a semester. I want to work with music festivals so I’ve been focusing on that for awhile now. Taylor’s career is one of my favorite things to study. In these years I’ve grown to love and admire Taylor for being the girl that I could look up to when I was a kid, but now I also look up to the business woman she is, to admire how much stronger she is now, how she turned her career into something of her own. There’s no one like her. And then last November Taylor announced the tour… with only US dates at first. My heart was shattered. And then UK dates were announce. And I couldn’t believe it. I could try and make it. I would make it. I borrowed money to buy the tickets in november and then in december I sold 95% of my clothes. I sold everything I could. And I did it. I payed for 2 tickets! And then hostels and flights.

This past weekend my biggest dream came true: Small town from Brazil saw small town girl from US. Taylor, if you ever read this, know you helped shape me into the person I am today. You helped me get through the darkest time of my life. You helped me learn a different language. You gave my mom and I hope I’d make it to the big world. You made me the happiest person and you still do. I’ve had phases and people would say my love and devotion for you would go away, or that you would never know I exist. It never went away. You have been the most consistent thing in my entire life.

And I’ll stand by you forever. And ever.

These are pics of me and my bf in the two first nights in Dublin. I have never been this happy in my life and I can’t believe I’m gonna see you in London one more time!

@taylornation

Love, Sarah.

[automatismoateo]

Abandoning faith likely cured me from depression. How's your mental health since you de-converted? via /r/atheism

Abandoning faith likely cured me from depression. How's your mental health since you de-converted?

My de-conversion process was rather a long one. I was born and raised in a strongly catholic home in Brazil. My dad studied to become a priest in his youth and mom is highly superstitious. I also happen to be bisexual, which turned my teenage years into a living hell at home.

As of my upbringing, I took all the catholic sacraments (baptism, first communion, confirmation, married) and actually believed most of their non-sense. And because I believed (or forced myself to believe) I suffered a great deal with depression from when I was 12 up until my 30's.

It was a long journey out of Catholicism, into Buddhism and Paganism until I realized that none of it made sense. My mental health only improved after I let go of all of the castles I was building in the sky.

I came to the conclusion that I couldn't believe in any gods about 1 year ago and I strongly believe this is a one way trip to reason after all the crap I went through. I'm not off my anti depressant and being discharged from therapy. For the first time 2 decades I'm seeing my mental health improve.

This makes me wonder. Has anyone here also seen improvements in mental health after leaving religion?

Submitted December 23, 2021 at 02:22PM by PinkPants_Metalhead (From Reddit https://ift.tt/3qdWEvu)

[paodequeijofeliz-blog]

Let me tell you a good story

Bloodbound Fanfiction (characters and main story belongs to Pixelberry Studios).

Pairing: Kamilah Sayeed and MC (Annie)

Information:  this takes place after Bloodbound 3, here I’m recreating how Kamilah and MC would meet if she had never gone to Raines Corporation right away.

Summary: Thirty years after meeting Annie for the first time, Kamilah is now a wife and a mother. During a regular family dinner, she decides to tell her daughter and their new son-in-law the story of how she fell in love with Annie after an unusual meeting through the hallways of NYU.

Warnings: none

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Let me tell you a good story - Part 3

March 2nd, 2048 “No way!” Drake leaned back on the chair, laughing his heart out. “You didn’t realize that Ms. K. Sayeed was her??”

“No!!” Anna whined behind her hands. “I found out later.”

“A month later, might we add.” Kamilah was shaking her head judgementally. “You cannot imagine how much fun I had listening to her complaining about the boss, ‘Ms. Sayeed’, right in my office.”

“FOR ONE MONTH?” Drake’s chin fell.

“I… I… Uh, come on! It’s not my fault. She signed her works with ‘K. Sayeed’. How the hell would I know? I don’t google every author I read.”

“But, ma’am, she told you her name was Kamilah right before joining a conference which had for main lecturer a ‘K. Sayeed’.”

“Wait, let me defend her now.” Lysia put a hand on Drake’s arm, suddenly monopolizing his attention. The diamond ring on her finger sparkled against the light. “In Brazil, Kamilah is a quite common name, but not with a ‘K’. It’s always with a ‘C’. She had never met a ‘Kamilah’ with a ‘K’ before. Therefore, she couldn’t link my mom’s name with ‘K. Sayeed’. It’s like someone telling you her name is ‘Kate’ right before going to a conference held by, I don’t know, ‘C. Hudson’. Would you automatically think this could be a ‘Cate’ with a ‘C’?”

Kamilah gave her daughter a proud smile. There was her little genius lawyer showing up. Every time Lysia put on that tone on her voice, so delicate yet firm and confident, the vampire queen would feel the urge to applaud and hug her tight. She grew up so fast. When did my little fairy princess-ninja become a beautiful woman?

“Ok, ok. Now I get it.” Drake gave in, melted by the argument as much as by Lysia’s touch. “Go on. When did you find out? What happened?”

Annie took a deep breath, her face already back to its natural colour. “So, after I basically criticized and called her thesis’s conclusion to be stupid… And laughed at Adrian’s thesis as well… Kamilah just fell in love.”

The woman beside her almost choke on wine. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, please. You got horny cause I had the audacity to criticize your work. No one had done it before.”

“MOM!” Lysia twitched her nose. “Please, do not say horny. That’s not a picture I want in my head.”

“Alright. Your mother felt very… Blissful. She spent an entire week thinking about my gorgeous audacity, until she finally took the courage to invite me out on a date. Actually, to command her assistant to do it.” Anna shot an accusing glare. “Couldn’t do it yourself, huh? Coward.”

Kamilah crossed her legs, avoiding that look. “We could say, if you insist, that I was only being careful to let someone more… Social… Handling the situation. And it wasn’t a real date.”

Annie laughed. “Right. I know you just wanted to see me again.”

 August 22nd, 2018

             Days were getting a bit too cold for Anna’s taste. She had grown in such a hot city that anything under 25ºC (77ºF) was already considered freezing. Hence why she was wearing heavy pajamas and socks that afternoon, all covered in blankets while eating cookies. It was her day off and Princess Bride was on TV. She had seen it a hundred times, for it was her favourite movie, yet still laughed at the same jokes. One day, months later, Annie would watch it again with her girlfriend. Three years from now, with her wife. In ten years, with her five-year-old child between her legs. But tonight, all she was aware of was a warm feeling on her chest, the urge to see someone she didn’t know how to find.

           “Stop it”. She stared at the cookies, scowling. “It was just a random woman. You don’t even know anything about her. She could be a boring ass businessperson.”

             “Ahem.” Kamilah interrupted the story, an icy glare coming down at Annie. “I don’t understand why being a businessperson sounds like a flaw in your mouth.”

           “Not the point. Hush.”

             The movie was about to end when a high sound made Anna jump on the couch.

           “Phone! Ok, where is it…” She went looking around the mess of books and papers, until finally finding it hidden inside a pencil case. “Yes, hello. Hi.”

           “…Am I speaking to Ms. Anna Mali?”

           “Yup, that’s me. Who is this?”

           “Ms. Mali, my name is Jacob Lee, I’m… Kamilah’s assistant. She wished to know if you’re available to have dinner tonight, at seven o’clock.”

           “Oh.” Annie sank on a chair, confused. “Are you asking me out on a date? I mean, Kamilah. Through you.”

           “I’m… Not sure if she would like me to answer that. I was specifically told to call you and set dinner to either tonight or Saturday night. Whatever suits your schedule.”

           “Right. Can you put her on the phone, please?”

           “She is at a meeting now.”

           “Of course.” Annie sighed, disappointed. “Ok. Tonight’s perfect. Where should I meet her?”

           “I’ll text you the address. Thank you for your time, Ms. Mali.”

           Something was off. Anna stared at her phone, trying to understand what just happened when Lily’s voice appeared from the steamy bathroom. “So, I think now we’ve officially ran out of hot water. What ya doing, girl? Let’s put another movie on.”

           “I... Think I might have a date. In two hours.”

           “WHAT? Is it the hot woman you met that day? Was it her on the phone?” Lily grew impatient by the silence. “Come on! Give me something here!”

           “Yes, I… Lil, okay, listen, this is super important. Help. Me. Look. Gorgeous.”

           She took the mission seriously. Without much time to think about it, Lily fetched a nice fancy dress, combed her hair into a loose bun, put on a provocative shade of red lipstick and, finally, struggled against the decision of which coat letting her use. Normally, Anna would wear something warm and heavy. It was 20ºC (68ºF) outside, and for her that was enough reason to burry herself in clothes. But Kamilah would definitely judge it.

           “Ok, blood. You better boil in there and keep my friend warm because we’re doing this.” Lily handed her a light and elegant lace coat.

           “Is my accent too strong?” she bounced at the doorway, still unsure.

           “Yes, and for the hundredth time, don’t let this bother you so much. You speak four languages, for fuck’s sake. If anyone around here mocks your accent again, I’ll kick his ass. Stop worrying and go. Text me if you need rescuing, alright?”

           It was 06:45 when she left the apartment. Ten minutes later, her cab stopped at the destination.

           “Have a good date, miss!” said the driver.

           “Thank you! But… Wait, is this correct?”

           “Yes, miss. It’s the address you gave me.”

           They were parked outside a huge and beautiful business building. Not the kind of place for dates. Anna walked in with a confused look on her face. A sign on the wall said “Ahmanet Financial”. That’s oddly familiar. The moment she approached the balcony, a young man came to greet her. His voice sounded familiar the minute he started speaking.

           “Good evening, Ms. Mali. Kamilah must be down in a minute. Could you kindly wait at the lobby?”

           “Hm, Jacob… Right? Jacob Lee.”

           “Yes, that would be me.”

           “I’ll wait, no problem. She can take her time.”

           “No need.” Kamilah’s voice made them jump. She had just stepped out of the elevator. “You can go back upstairs, Jacob. Thank you.”

           “Yes, Ms. S… I mean, Kamilah. Boss. I’m going.” The assistant seemed troubled, walking hesitantly away from them.

           Anna opened her mouth to ask what the hell happened to him, but she shut it when her eyes noticed the look on the other woman’s face. Kamilah’s stare started on her shoes, slowly climbing the legs covered by pantyhose, passing through the black flowered dress, lingering a while at the neckline and finally reaching the red lips. The Brazilian felt so deeply analysed a shiver went through her spine. Kamilah’s critical eyes weren’t giving away her thoughts. She could be either enjoying or hating the view, there was no clue.

           “Good evening.” Anna spoke, both hypnotized and insecure. “Uhm… You… You look gorgeous. Well. Fancy. You look fancy. Let’s go with that.”

           Kamilah arched an eyebrow, slightly surprised. “Thank you. May we go?”

           “Sim. May. We may.” Annie sighed. “Sorry, sometimes I still struggle against the language.”

           “Don’t worry. I am familiar with the feeling.” Kamilah walked back to the elevator without even checking if the girl was following.

           “So, you’re not American?” she tried to catch up her fast pace.

           “No. I’m Egyptian. But I came here a long time ago.”

           Annie kept her silence, well-aware that the woman was staring at her again. Maybe that wasn’t a date at all, but a job interview. Maybe she was being considered to fit a position. No… It doesn’t make sense. My work has nothing to do with all of this. When the elevator doors opened, it was to the entrance of a highly fancy restaurant. A tall hostess came to greet them while another one guided both to an empty table by a huge window.

           “Red or white?”

           “What?” Anna looked away from the view. “Oh, the whine. White, please. Sauvignon Blanc.”

           Kamilah kept her posture, not even glancing at the whine menu. Even though her expression was unreadable, the tone on her voice seemed a little impressed. “You heard the lady, Mr. Kendall. Bring us the best Sauvignon Blanc you have.”

           “Right away, miss.”

           Anna watched as the waiter left them, suddenly noticing they were the only two clients there.

           “How was the other professor’s article?”

           “Who?” The Brazilian woman looked down, momentarily searching her memory. There went the fingers entangling again. “Oh. You mean Faith? From that night? It was good. There were a few improvements to do, though.”

           “I see.”

           Anna smiled as the waiter poured the wine for them. Her hands seemed to hesitate, waiting for Kamilah to drink it first, only then taking a sip herself. After that, her body began to relax, black eyes sparkling as analysing the Egyptian’s features. “How was the lecture? Did you enjoy it?”

           “It was pleasant. Some of the speakers were quite good.”

           “I actually googled Ms. Sayeed works afterwards, while I was waiting for Faith.”

           Kamilah’s lips opened a small smile, her voice showing a hint of curiosity. “And?”

           “She has some articles about history I wasn’t aware of. She can be really interesting when is not talking about economics.” Anna taped her fingers together, trying to speak slower so she wouldn’t miss the pronunciation. “I read four of them. Two about history itself. Loved these. She gets the job of the historian in a way only a few do… It’s almost like she can feel the passing of time, our history, differently than the rest of us.”

           Kamilah crossed her legs, still amused. “What about the other two?”

           “It’s hard for me to criticize it, they were about Egyptian history. I don’t know much of this subject. It was well-written, that’s for sure.” Anna narrowed her eyes, like something was finally connecting. “Wait.”

           Egyptian history. Egyptian woman. Ahmanet Financial.

           “This place…” She inclined her head, confused. “Is this place hers? Ahmanet Financial?”

           “Yes, it is.”

           “And you… Are you like… Her partner or something? Do you work for her?”

           Kamilah sighed. I cannot believe this. “Well, yes. I suppose we can say that.”

           Anna was still blushing. A beautiful tone of pink matching the red lips. “I knew the name of this building was familiar. Why didn’t you tell me? I wouldn’t have said all these things if I knew she was your boss.”

           “I appreciated the honesty.” Kamilah seemed to become more serious, her smile replaced by a solid face. “Ms. Sayeed… People don’t often say such straightforward thoughts about her work. Although I do disagree with you in many aspects, your opinions were truthful and valuable.”

           Annie closed her eyes of embarrassment. Since she was already feeling exposed, why not rip the band-aid off? “Kamilah, is this a date or a professional meeting?”

           The woman in front of her laughed for a second. “Oh, dear. You couldn’t possibly handle me on a date. Now… Let’s get down to business.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #382

“’cuz if i stand up, i’ll break my bones, and everybody loves to see a fall unfold”

Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Well yeah. Most of my friends are online, and while I've seen pictures of most at least once or twice, some I still haven't. The last time you threw up, what caused it? It was a side effect of a mood stabilizer I started. Any foods from other countries you would like to try but haven’t yet? I'm sure there's something, idk. Do you think the world would be more peaceful without any religion? Yes. Have you ever had a stalker? No. Does it hurt your feelings when people talk shit about things you love? It makes me self-conscious way more than anything. I start to obsess over whether or not the person things poorly or weirdly of me for liking what I like. I just feel judged for liking it, but that's my problem. Do you like it when people give you nicknames? I do, actually. It feels kinda affectionate to me. Do you often find yourself checking out people’s butts? Haha I'm not gonna say it's never happened, but it's not something I make a habit out of for sure. What fandoms are you in? MEERKAT MANOR IS BACK BAYBEEEE, Markiplier, Silent Hill, Shadow of the Colossus, World of Warcraft, Spyro, Wings of Fire, and lots more, honestly. I'm into a lot of stuff, and I don't love in moderation, haha. Are there any fandoms you used to be in, but left? Yeah, like Supernatural, Good Mythical Morning, or Warriors, but it wasn't out of "I don't like it anymore" or anything, I just drifted away. Anything the fans in your fandoms do that pisses you off? World of Warcraft if particular has one of the most toxic fucking fanbases. There are so many goddamn elitists and people who whine about "boohoo WoW is dying" and "omg this game has been trash since Wrath" and yada yada yada and it's annoying as hell. They always find some shit to complain about. Then Silent Hill... ugh. I think people just hop onto the "the series sux after 1-4" bandwagon to fit in with a certain crowd, but that's not the main thing that annoys me; rather, it's the fact the former main admin of the SH wiki made a fucking joke out of us there. He was clearly having personal issues and made a HUGE and utterly ridiculous deal of Silent Hill 4 having heavy symbolism to the main character being obsessed with the bullshit idea of him being circumcised, and it led to a maaaassive thread of us members trying to talk some damn sense into him as he abused his power. He was finally banned by the Wikia staff, but not in time for some gaming websites to publish "news" stories about it because it was just that ludicrous. Now, YEARS later, we still get trolls coming onto the site to try and revive the drama by inserting absolute rubbish into pages or making new ones. Nowadays I'm the main administrator there, and it's fucking embarrassing sometimes. I'm supposed to keep the wiki under control and respected, you know? Ugh, I'll stop. I could rant for a very long time about this. Do you prefer ruffly or regular potato chips? Ruffly. Do you write down your own recipes, or just commit them to memory? I don’t cook. What color do you want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, lilac, and a light creamsicle orange. I REALLY want to dye it SOMETHING. :( How do you like your chicken? Of course breaded (like nuggets, tenders) is my favorite, but I also enjoy is broiled and seasoned well. There's other ways, but because I don't cook, I, uh... don't know how a lot are made lmao. Do you enjoy cheese fries? UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH YES. Do you eat refried beans? I absolutely hate beans, so no. What is a food you enjoy, but don’t have very often? A whole lot because a lot of it is from restaurants and we don't eat out all that much. As well, my diet is very narrow just because of how picky I am. Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Why? I mean, what are we comparing them for? I think Audrey is fucking gorgeous, though. Marilyn is also beautiful. Favorite fictional world? Uh, I dunno. Do you use lint rollers often? No. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want to. Has your power ever gone out for more than a day? I think so. Other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish Facebook had? Hm, I dunno. What time do your parents normally get home from work? Mom can't work right now, but I think Dad gets off around 5PM. Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Yep. Do you think it’s better to look for love or let it find you? Both can work, but I definitely prefer to let it find me. I feel that *in general* that usually has better results. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? No. I'm a very committed person romantically. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Have you ever had a rash from poison ivy? I don't believe so, no. Do you have any chairs in your bedroom? No. Did you watch Elmo as a child? Some, yeah. Do you know anyone who doesn’t eat meat? I don't think so, off the top of my head. When you throw up, do you cry? No, but I'm a whiner and will also shake from fear because I have such a phobia of vomiting. Doing it totally turns me into a baby. Who was the last person to carry you? I couldn't tell you the last person to full-on carry me, but back when I tore a ligament in my foot, my mom kinda had me lifted when she would help me walk. Is it easy for you to accept loss? Absolutely not. I handle it very, very poorly. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had a rolling back pack? Yes. Who knows you better than anyone else? My mom, probably. Would you ever want to go to Brazil? Sure, if the opportunity came up. Are there any medical conditions that run in your family? A lot, mostly heart problems. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica imo. Who is the biggest jerk you've ever met? She was somehow my former best friend. Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never been in that situation, thankfully. What's a charity you would never donate to? I'm really not familiar enough with charities and their practices to know which ones are sketch or not. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you have any exes you'd consider dating again? Yes. What were some of your favorite classes you took in high school? Art and German. Mythology was fun, too. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Yeah, I have a cousin that's a lawyer. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, outta curiosity. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like, two days. Part of the reason I left Girt was because I liked Sara. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? Chicken noodle soup. What's a movie series where the sequel was better than the original? Ha, for some reason Inspector Gadget came to mind. I guess from mentioning my childhood. I was FUCKING OBSESSED with that movie as a kid. The first one's fine, but I love the second one. Does your car have heated seats? Mom's doesn't. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing strange, really. Describe your hometown. What’s it like there? Small and dangerous. Lots of run-down areas. A gang nearly broke into our house once, if that helps you get the picture. What was the last video game you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 forever ago. What did you learn from your last failed relationship? It really just taught me that you need to take care of your own mental health before you can effectively handle another's properly and strike a healthy balance. What country does your favorite band hail from? Britain. What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done? Finish decorating my room. -_- Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it? Good Mythical Morning, I suppose. I used to be OB-SESSED. I still adore Rhett and Link as people, they are fucking wonderful human beings and excellent entertainers, I just drifted away from their content. I don't really know why. Do you sleep with the TV or the radio on? No. What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)? Menstrual cycles, I'd say. It affects your mood so much, and as someone who's bipolar, it can be very confusing. I like to know why I'm feeling a certain way. What movie has the best special effects? /shrug How many work hours per week is too much for you? I wouldn't know, I've never really worked long enough to figure this out. Can you remember your first day of school? I think I have the faintest memory of it. I know I was very scared to leave my mom (I had absolutely awful separation anxiety from her) and I MIGHT have cried, but I don't really recall with certainty. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No thanks. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Most, no, because the level of cringe is LITERALLY unbearable for me. Do you have a safe? Mom does somewhere. What’s the scariest thing to happen to you so far? The breakup. That night was just fucking terrifying. I was so certain my life was over, like the situation was so, so impossible in my head. What was your last dream about? (or your daydream if you don’t remember) My memory's faint, but I just remember I had a nightmare where a LOT of my bones were totally snapped in half. When was the last time you saw a relative? Excluding my immediate family, I last saw my now-departed grandmother and my uncle a while back at a hotel as they were passing through. Have you ever been in a TV audience? No. Are you in any way close to reaching a personal goal? Not really... Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Do you like making collages? Not really. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? No. What would you love to learn to do? Digital art, like drawing on a tablet. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Lemurs. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot, 100%. Are you more shy in real life or on the internet? I am WAY more shy irl.