#my mom asking me where my long sleeved shirt went after daycare when i was like 7 or so years old and me going man idk

[helielune]

number of outfit items i am (currently) emotionally attached to and am (currently) extremely aware of the previous existence of, which have since mysteriously vanished (so far): 3

[deniigi]

I WOULD LOVE A DAVE FIC !!!

Excellent. Here’s for you and  @dudewhereismy-tardis

I am putting most of it under the cut because it is LONG

Dave (Daredevil copycat from Inimitable Verse) POV. Reminder that Dave is not his real name, but one given to him disdainfully by Wade in this verse.

Title: rises in the east

------------

“Dad.”

What?

“Dad.”

What time was it?

“Your phone’s ringing,” Charlie said. “It’s the boss.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“Give it here,” Dave rasped, throwing an arm over his eyes.

“Mom said you’re gonna hurt your back sleepin’ on the couch,” Charlie reported as she shoved his phone into his palm.

“My couch, my rules,” Dave said. He crammed the phone to his ear. “Ansel here,” he said.

Charlie wanted to stay home and if she was a year older, Dave would have let her. But alas. The last time he’d let her stay home, she’d texted her friend Jesse who had become unspeakably jealous and had appealed to her own parents for such freedoms, and now the whole block thought that Dave recklessly abandoned his daughter when he went to the goddamn grocery store.

All that for a can of Sprite, man.

This neighborhood was off the fuckin’ charts sometimes.

Case in point: Dani standing in front of him in the lobby with her hands on her hips, telling him that he needed to wear a tighter t-shirt or to start flexing because they were losing business.

“Dani, I’m an instructor,” he reminded her. “I’m hired to do classes.”

“It’s two hours,” Dani said. “Take the damn fliers.”

But he didn’t want to?

Dani blinked at him slowly from under her headband.

 --

 Charlie was having a great time and Dave was glad for that because he was not. He was being stared at by every person in the street as if they’d never seen a dude with muscles before.

It was the shirt.

He knew it was the shirt.

And possibly his nipples. Smashing the brochures high enough against his chest to cover them wasn’t going well and the highlighter teal underarmor Dani had forced upon him left very little to the imagination here.

There wasn’t anything else to do but let the poor things live their best lives.

“Dad, gimme more,” Charlie said.

She tugged at the brochures covering what was left of his dignity.

Blessed child, who hurt you?

“Where did the others go?” he asked her.

Charlie pointed across the road to a gaggle of ladies leaning out from their stoop, smiling.

Ah.

Yes.

Them.

“Let’s try for someone who looks more like a bro,” he told his offspring.

Charlie blinked up at him.

“Why?” she asked.

Oh, baby.

“Because they’re an easy mark,” he said. “Go up and say ‘my dad can take you’ and send ‘em my way, okay?”

Charlie’s face went from confused to ready to kill instantly.

This was her game face. This was her ‘I’m gonna wreck this goalee’s teeth’ face.

Dave shouldn’t have been proud of her, really; her teachers said that she was becoming argumentative and obstinate in the classroom. But there was just something there in the fact that his kid sure as shit wasn’t no sheep that made his chest feel big, wide, and full of hot air.

“I’m on it,” Charlie said.

He gave her three brochures and let her scramble off to the other side of the sidewalk and then turned to meet the eye of a family with a father with neat hair and the beginnings of triceps peeking out from under his sleeves.

“You lookin’ for a gym, sir?” he asked.

The guy looked his way and eyed him up.

He took a flier on his way past.

 --

 “Excuse me?”

“One second, man,” Dave said, doing the rock-shuffle to keep all the fliers on the table from blowing away.

“Excuse me.”

“Hey, I said just a sec,” Dave snapped.

He turned back and found himself staring into the dark eyes of a bald man with olive skin and deep wrinkles in his forehead.

And Dave knew him.

Holy shit.

Dave knew him.

Fuck.

God.

Jesus, Lord.

“I am so sorry,” he started.

“DAD.”

Ch—Charlie?

He looked down and sure enough, holding Rudolph ‘Diamond’ De Luca’s massive bearpaw was his very own daughter. De Luca made her wiry, suntanned limbs seem like unbaked pretzels.

He was so much bigger than he’d seemed on TV all those years ago.

“This your kid?” De Luca asked.

Jesus.

“She is. I’m so sorry,” Dave said, “Did she—she didn’t bite you or anything, did she?”

“Dad,” Charlie whined. “Don’t tell ‘im that.”

“I’ll pay for whatever damage—” Dave continued.

De Luca blinked at him impossibly slowly with long dark eye lashes. He turned his face slowly back down towards Charlie.

“You sure this is your old man?” he asked.

Wh—

Wait.

What the hell did that mean?

“That’s him,” Charlie moaned. “He’s just bein’ dumb. Dad. Stop bein’ dumb. This dude’s the real deal. He’ll fight you in a heartbeat.”

Dave grabbed his child before she could cause any more damage. She made a fuss, but let go of De Luca’s mitt. Dave shoved her behind him, just in case this situation got any more tense than it needed to be.

De Luca lifted an eyebrow at that and then brought his face back up to Dave’s.

“Who’s gym?” he asked.

What?

Oh.

“Spitfire,” Dave said. “We’re, uh, just about there, on the—”

“I know where you’re about,” De Luca said.

Dave didn’t know what to say. De Luca held his eye.

Oh, god.

This wasn’t going well.

“How old are you, son?” De Luca asked.

FFFFFFFFFFFffffffffffffuck.

“38,” Dave said.

“And your baby girl?” De Luca asked, gesturing with his chin down at Charlie.

“I’m 12,” Charlie told him brightly.

“Hm,” De Luca said.

He shifted his weight back and wrapped a few fingers around his chin, surveying Dave’s whole body like he was the statue of David with a knee injury.

Dave became intimately aware of his nipples again.

“Not bad,” De Luca said.

Oh, thank god.

“Thank you, sir,” Dave said. “Is there, uh, somethin’ I could help you with?”

“You got an accent,” De Luca noted.

Uh?

“A good accent,” De Luca said. “Whereabouts did you grow up?”

Oh.

Well.

Dave could actually just point to it from here. The condo was still standing, despite all building codes and actual alien invasions. At this point, the only thing that was gonna take it down were the rampant, rapidly mutating, borderline feral gangs of chickens that roamed its halls.

Not that anyone spoke about them.

No, that was inviting trouble to your doorstep.

“The chicken coop?” De Luca said.

The one and only.

“Bless you, you poor fuck.”

Yeah, that tended to be the usual reaction.

De Luca laughed.

“You’re a funny guy, uh,” he squinted at Dave’s nametag, “Ansel?”

How could a word sound so wrong in someone’s mouth?

Where had Dave’s life gone wrong that his own name sounded so foreign and distant to his ears?

“Actually,” he said, swallowing, “My uh, my friends call me ‘Dave.’”

De Luca’s head snapped right up and slowly, a grin spread across his face.

“Oh, now, that’s a good name for ya,” he said. “You look like a Davy.”

Hng.

Diamond De Luca thought he looked like a ‘Davy.’

Diamond De Luca thought he looked like a ‘Davy.’

Welp.

Time to get that birth certificate changed.

“Listen, Davy,” De Luca said casually, “Your baby girl there was tellin’ me that your boss has you out here like dancin’ monkey; is that true?”

Fffffffffff.

Technically yes?

“It’s even his day off,” Charlie whispered.

Dave wrapped a hand over her face.

“It’s fine,” he said. “It happens. Folks’ve been sick lately. I don’t normally do this kinda thing.”

De Luca’s face said that that was real cute. Real, real cute, honey.

“Well,” he said, “Let’s just say it like this. Where you work don’t gotta be where you train.”

Oh.

Was he offering--?

“If you decide to drop by, tell the guy at the desk Rudy sent you,” De Luca said. “Your kid’s real sweet, Davy. She can come too, lord knows the damn place is a daycare at this point.”

“Thank? You?” Dave stuttered.

“Don’t mention it,” De Luca said.

He left. Dave watched him waltz down the block and wave at the gals collected on the stoop at the end of it and felt a little lightheaded.

“Dad?”

Not right now, champ.

“Dad? Is he famous or somethin’?”

HHHHHHHHHHNG.

 --

 Back when Dave had been 14 and scraping the tips of his fingers into callouses on the old guitar he’d found tossed into a dumpster in the Upper West Side, he’d had to compete with the sound of the couple fighting in the apartment next door and with the radio the old man downstairs always had playing on his fire-escape window.

The old man downstairs was a real hard-ass. Always slammed a broom into the ceiling, scaring the shit out of Mom and Dad and sister and auntie. Dave had never seen him not smoking, nor had he ever seen him without suspenders.

The man was a retired plumber, apparently. And while Jim Beam was his main vice, his passion was boxing.

To the tune of chords picked out of an out-of-tune guitar, Dave had listened to tinny commentators oohing and awing over match after match, until finally, when sleep wouldn’t come one night, Dave had snuck out of the room he’d shared with Flora. He’d settled down on the living room couch, next to his old man splayed out in the recliner.

Dad had lifted his eyes slowly his way and told him that he should have been in bed.

Dave had told him that he couldn’t sleep because the couple next door was makin’ up from their daily afternoon argument and Dad had just sighed.

He’d let Dave stay up with him and the TV in the living room had fuzzed and rattled away, making sounds really familiar to Dave at that point.

Boxing was a sport that he had, up until that night, left to his father. But for the lack of anything else to talk about that wouldn’t make his dad look at him with disappointment in his eyes for all that damn music-playin’ and eyeliner, he’d asked who the guy on the screen was.

And that was how he’d learned about Diamond De Luca.

About Kenny Varga. Bert ‘The Albatross’ Kleinfeld.

But there was one guy who Dad had mentioned was his favorite rookie and, now it felt both kind of silly and surreal that the name had been spoken so casually in Dave’s home growing up.

Dad had been puttin’ money on Battlin’ Jack Murdock back when Dave had been a little kid.

He told Dave, disappointedly, after a few weeks of Dave getting up at 12:30 to come out and watch boxing with him that he’d really thought that Murdock was gonna be the next big thing.

Guy was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, Dad had said, shaking his head. But wolves that got too wily got put down and Battlin’ Jack had been found in an alley, bled out in the arms of his reason for fighting.

Dad said it was a fuckin’ shame that Murdock had gone out with a slug in his head.

A fuckin’ shame, he said.

Dave didn’t remember him every saying that Murdock’s reason for fighting was a blind ten-year-old, but the thought was now merged with that memory.

That, in itself, was merged with the memory of Dave’s phone ringing one night was Addie’s name on the Caller ID. Her voice was shaking when she told Dave that the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen had just called her from an unknown number.

He had their baby.

He’d snatched her and Jesse out of the arms of two men looking for girls to be used in businesses Dave didn’t want to think about.

He’d saved them.

The devil had heard their screams when no one else had and he’d come flying out of the dark.

He’d held the girls in the light of a bodega and he’d coached Charlie through typing Addie’s number into his phone and then he’d taken it from there.

Addie was too scared to go meet the devil on her own. Mason hadn’t been around yet and so Dave had thrown on his shoes and had meet her on 46th.

The devil was on 48th, swinging his boots with both girls in his lap.

They were all singing. The devil had pretended like he didn’t know the words to Britney Spears’s ‘Toxic.’

Matt Murdock was under that mask.

Knowing that this whole time, he’d been the one dragging a stick against the fences and bricks of Hell’s Kitchen was almost impossible to digest.

And Dave had worked with him now.

He’d seen that smirk and that notorious jaw unwrapped from its red armor and that didn’t make reconciling the murdered boxer’s son with the man who’d saved his daughter any easier.

Charlie hadn’t remembered him.

She thought that Matt Murdock was a weird fuckin’ dude, and granted, he was a weird fuckin’ dude, but Dave had to say: he was grateful.

Matt Murdock not only brought home his baby, but he’d given Dave purpose in a life that had become consumed by the daily grind.

Matt Murdock had smiled in his direction, never quite into his eyes, and he’d passed along the baton with next to no fight.

Dave wasn’t him.

Dave would never be him.

Matt Murdock wasn’t just some poor murdered boxer’s blind son. He was the product of some serious poverty. Some serious violence. A whole fuckin’ cult induction, if he was to be believed. And Dave wasn’t so sure if he was always to be believed.

But he still appreciated Matt Murdock for what he’d done and what he’d made for this part of the city.

He’d made Daredevil.

And he shared that with Dave.

Dave’s own dad’s approval hadn’t felt like the honor that had come with Matt Murdock’s covered eyes and curled lip slowly relaxing as he’d lifted his face up from Dave’s knees.

He hadn’t been inspecting.

He’d been listening. Dipping his fingers into the blood in Dave’s heart and deciding if he was worth his salt.

Matt Murdock, son of Battlin’ Jack Murdock, was a product of Fogwell’s Gym in the Kitchen.

Diamond De Luca, retired heavyweight, was a product of Fogwell’s Gym.

The stars had aligned. And Dave had stood in their path.

And he wasn’t wasting the chance that they offered him.

--

Charlie was stoked to be allowed to come to the gym with him. She usually went to Jesse’s house, where Rubes would look after both girls for a few hours.

But De Luca had said that it was okay for her to come along, and so he figured, why not?

Fogwell’s was an institution in the Kitchen. All kids deserved to know their own history.

“I’m gonna fight Fogwell himself,” Charlie announced halfway down the block.

“You will not,” Dave told her. “Because I’m not tryin’ to get thrown out before we even get started here, alright?”

Charlie whined.

He ignored it.

 --

 This wasn’t the first time he’d been to the gym. Matt Murdock slipped in and out of it when he was in the city and he’d taken the whole team there once or twice. But it was different to be there in the presence of the daytime crew.

Dave felt very small in their presence.

The whole place was full of people pounding bags and swearing and shouting at kids who were tumbling all over the rows of benches set off to the side of the bags.

It was not what Dave had been expecting.

He told the guy at the front that ‘Rudy’ had recommended that he stop by and got a nod and a wave.

“He’s probably upstairs,” the receptionist said. “Go pick a bag, I’ll give him a buzz.”

 --

 Charlie refused to join the kids on the benches because apparently that was ‘only for babies, Dad.’ She wanted to hold the bag.

She was not, in one thousand years, holding the bag.

Dave wrapped her hands and let her go at it first to ‘soften it up’ for him.

De Luca caught him adjusting the demon-child’s thumbs before they ended up at the hospital again and laughed.

“Davy-boy, you made it,” he said.

Dave snapped up straight to attention.

“I did,” he said.

De Luca laughed again.

“Relax, kid,” he said. “Damn, you’re tight wound. Don’t worry, we won’t tell no one you’re sleepin’ with the enemy.”

Ahahahaha.

Please don’t.

These people were jacked. Dave was but a kickboxing instructor.

“Here, bub, lemme see what your pops has got,” De Luca said, shooing Charlie out of the way.

And this was the moment of truth.

 --

 De Luca seemed surprised when Dave finally laid off the bag. And Dave couldn’t read his expression for a million bucks.

“Uh?” he tried. “Not good?”

De Luca blinked himself back to earth.

“Oh, no,” he said. “It’s just uh, you fight a little like someone I know.”

Please don’t say a mobster.

Please don’t say a mobster.

“Kid used to live around here; name’s Matt Murdock,” De Luca said. “You know him?”

Did—

Did he know him?

QUICK. Answer the question.

You’re takin’ too long.

He’s gonna—

“S’alright if you don’t,” De Luca said. “I was just sayin’. Kid was like one of my own.”

He—

What?

“Yeah, boy fought like the devil like his daddy before ‘im,” De Luca said. “He’s the only one Fogwell lets call him ‘Grandpa.’ He’s about your age, actually. God, I’m old.”

AHAHAHAHAHA.

Please change the subject.

“You’re not that old,” Dave said. “I think I might have heard the name.”

Charlie looked up at him, baffled at the hedging.

He pleaded with her with his eyes not to say a damn word.

“Yeah, he’s somethin’, left here for San Francisco. Didn’t even say good-bye, the little shit,” De Luca sniffed. “Came back last year all ‘I’m gettin’ married’ and I swear to god, he’s picked up some kid. Just between you and me, pal, the old guard here have been talkin’, and we think that someone missed out on the sex ed talk, if you know what I’m sayin’.”

Oh.

Poor Sam.

He wasn’t even there to scream from the mountaintops that Red was a last resort for him at best.

“I’m just sayin’,” De Luca said with a shrug that spoke far more of supreme irritation than nonchalance, “He coulda just told us. I’m just sayin’.”

Any more ‘just sayin’s’ and Diamond De Luca was gonna go find a wall to bury them in.

“Did you, uh, have any feedback?” Dave blurted out as the guy started mumbling.

“Hm?”

“Feedback,” Dave repeated, waving a gloved hand at the bag.

“Oh. Yeah, loads, kid. You got all the muscles and not a damn lick of memory, here, lemme show you.”

Crisis averted.

Thank god.

 --

 D2: hey uh, DD?

SM: DAVE

S2: DAVEEEE

S3: DAVE

SM: what’s up man?

D2: nothing I was just trying to get ahold of DD?

BT: He’s trying to get Kirsten to give up her dreams of an indoor office pond rn. Can I help?

SM: I want an indoor office pond

S3: omg same

D2: uh yeah actually could you just tell him I met a guy named De Luca the other day and he might want to give him a call?

BT: de Luca?

D2: yeah

BT: okay sure thing

D2: thanks

BT: I’ll go see if I can get a word in edgewise.

SM: good fucking luck

S2: I hate fish

S3: leave this place and never return

S2: I HATE FISH

DD: WHAT

SM: oh shit that was quick

D2: oh. I was just saying that I met Diamond De Luca the other day?

SM: ?? Who’s that?

DD: oh no

S2: ??????????????

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): who the fuck is that?

DD: are you still with him?

D2: no?

D2: he caught me out fliering and invited me to Fogwell’s

D2: and when I got there he mentioned my stance was like yours and he uh

D2: got a little distracted

DD: what kind of distracted?

D2: He thinks Sam’s your bastard kid

BT: GODDAMNIT

DD: FOR FUCKS SAKE

BT: First Mrs. Jones, now this guy?? TEACH.

DD: These people have zero faith in me I swear to god.

DD: like come ON man. I did sex ed in the same class as Angie he knows I’m too catholic for that shit

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): I looked this man up and he looks like an Italian nate with less hair

SM: wh

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): okay you’re right he looks nothing like nate

SM: that

SM: that’s not even slightly helpful, wade, thanks not at all. Hey who’s angie?

DD: long story. Rudy’s daughter

S2: RED YOU FUCKED A BOXERS DAUGHTER?? That’s a million dollar baby man

DD: I

DD: what?

DD: no? Why would I fuck angie she’s like my sister?

S2: oh nvm

SM: 😬😬😬

S3: I am confused ❤

D2: you should probably call him, friend

DD: on it. thanks for the notice

DD: hey what’s your fuckin name again?

S2: f

S3: f

SM: f

D2: It’s Ansel

DD: Adams?

D2: not the photographer. Ansel West.

SM: WEST

S2: OMG

S3: guys don’t

SM: I BET YOURE A SUNSET DAVE

S2: YOU EVER FEEL CALLED TO THE PRAIRIE DAVE???

SM: YOU’RE A&W, DAVE!!

S2: ROOT BEER ROOT BEER

D2: ah yes. Middle school. I remember this feeling.

--

Dave laid his phone on his chest and stared back up at the ceiling.

It was never dull, this new life he’d settled into.

He said a prayer for Murdock and rolled onto his side.

It was still his goddamn couch.

 --

[votederpycausemufins]

Red: ch 3 Berries

This story is also posted on Ao3

Chloé visits Marinette’s home and designing happens.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Chloé did her best not to look nervous as she approached the Dupain-Cheng bakery. She may have been invited, but going to her former rival’s home was different to say the least, not to mention she was on Sabine’s bad side as far as she knew, and Marinette mom was someone you did not want to be on the bad side of.

    Chloé took a breath before opening the door to the bakery. The bell chimed and Sabine looked over. “Hello welcome to- oh, hello Chloé.”

    The blonde was surprised at the unexpected warmth in Sabine’s voice. Her best guess was that Marinette had told her mother that Chloé would be visiting, but it was still surprising there wasn’t a hint of anger in Sabine’s voice.

    Marinette came down the steps, nearly falling. “Chloé you’re here! Come on up!”

    Sabine turned to look at her daughter. “Would you like me to bring any treats up? I’ve got a fresh batch of strawberry crumble.”

    “Oh that’s perfect Maman! I’m actually designing a line based on different berries!”

    “You will have to show me when it is finished.”

    “I will Maman.” Marinette replied with a smile before dragging Chloé upstairs all the way to her room, which was tricky on the ladder.

    Chloé looked around the bedroom. The place was very… pink. In the one episode of Fill my Shoes, Chloé had seen Marinette’s room appear, and it looked pretty much the same, but the area around her computer looked different. “It looks empty over there.”

    Marinette briefly looked upset. “I’m uh… redecorating that area.”

    That’s right, Chloé recalled, that’s where Adrien’s pictures had been. Another sign about how Marinette liked Adrien, but of course she didn’t anymore after what he had done. “Well maybe you should put your sketches there.”

    Marinette tilted her head as she looked at the area. “You’re probably right. Could you grab my sketchbook?” Chloé didn’t move and after a few seconds staring at the wall, Marinette turned to look and the blonde. “Oh right, you’re not Alya. It’s fine if you don’t want to help.”

    “No, I would grab it for you, but not only don’t know where it is, I also still remember last time I tried taking it.”

    Marinette covered her mouth. “Oh that’s right! I completely forgot!”

    “Here is it Marinette!” Tikki came flying over dragging the sketchbook along in the air.

    “That looks heavy” Chloé commented, grabbing it from the kwami to give to Marinette.

    “Just a little. I’m stronger than I look.”

    Chloé gave a nod as Marinette carefully took out some pages. “Those don’t look like some of your best work, why bother putting them up?”

    Marinette shrugged. “I guess I’m just paranoid with everything that’s been happening. It’s better if I put out the worse stuff in case someone tries stealing it.”

    “That’s pretty clever. Like with your signature that looks like a design.”

    “Yeah, I started designing them with that after Adrien’s birthday.”

    Chloé’s eyes widened. “So that scarf was made by you! Of course his father wouldn’t wouldn’t give him a present like that. Ugh, he’s as bad as Hawkmoth sometimes.”

    Marinette gave a small laugh. “I actually thought he was Hawkmoth until he was akumatized.”

    “Right. So, you said you’ve been doing some designs?”

    “Oh, yes!” Marinette smiled and opened her sketchbook to near the back. “I’ve finished blueberry, strawberry and raspberry. I’m still working on cranberry.”

    Chloé looked at the designs. She had to admit, they did look nice. “These mainly seem more feminine. Anything a bit more masculine?”

    “Well, the berry theme seems more oriented to dresses and other ‘feminine’ styles.”

    Chloé studied the designs for a little bit more before handing the sketchbook back. “Maybe counterpart outfits, like bilberry and bramble berry.”

    “Oh! That’s a good idea! What about strawberry and cranberry?” Marinette asked, grabbing a pencil and quickly writing some notes.”

    Chloé pauses, thinking for a bit. “Well currant for cranberry, but strawberry is a bit harder. Maybe… lychee? Do you know what that is?”

    “Yes, my uncle has made some recipes with Lychee, though not too many. It’s mainly for deserts. But that’s a great idea for the counterpart to strawberry!”

    “Now if there were only something yellow.” Chloé said quietly, though loud enough Marinette heard.

    “Well, bananas are classified as berries actually.”

    “Look, yellow is okay, but actually picturing a banana is a line I will not cross!” Chloé states firmly, crossing her arms.

    “That makes sense. And I know it’s not yellow, but I may have made a design or two for you. I’ve done at least one for everyone in the class. Well except Lila.” Marinette gave a quick shrug and grabbed a different sketchbook. “It’s got some purple in it, but I could recolor it if I make it.”

    Chloé took the sketchbook that was handed to her. It looked… nice. The design had her with a long sleeved dress shirt with the cuffs slightly rolled up. Over it was a vest like shirt. It was a light lavender and in the middle there was a white and purple diamond design. The pants were a simple middle grey tone. The shoes were the same color or a little darker with lavender and white accents in the same diamond pattern.

    “This is… amazing. Can you make this for me actually?” Chloé looked up from the sketchbook. “But change the colors. The purples make yellows and the white in the designs can be lavender.”

    Marinette looked shocked. “Wait, really?”

    “Well various magazines say changing how you dress can help change how you act.”

    “Alright, I guess I’ll redraw it with those colors. I might change the design to better fit them, so if I do, I can send you a picture! But wait…” Marinette turned to look at Chloé after turning to her designing area. “I don’t have your phone number.”

    “Ugh, that’s right… fine, give me a piece of paper. Just make sure you get rid of it once it’s in your phone. I don’t want anyone else getting it. Adrien and Sabrina are already enough. I want to block Adrien, but it might be suspicious.”

    “You could just do it anyway.” Marinette suggested.

    “No, no. It could make him worse. Besides, who knows if it could be useful in the future. Now, let’s stop talking about him. So, you’re working on those berry designs?”

    “Right! Designing!” Marinette grabbed her sketchbook but fumbled with it, somehow managing to smack it, flinging it towards Chloé and hitting her in the face.

    “Dupain-Cheng!” Marinette flinched at the yell. “How are you so graceful as Ladybug and so clumsy as you?!”

    Marinette gave a small sigh of relief that Chloé wasn’t being mean then listening as the blonde continued. “Look, we’re friends now I guess, so I’m not going to be too mean outside of school. But at school I will be mean. I have appearances to upkeep.”

    “Is that why you acted mean when you invited me to your table?” Marinette raised an eyebrow.

    “Yes, exactly. I’m known as a bully, especially yours, and if I was suddenly just nice, it would be worse than half nice.”

    “I guess, though you don’t really have to pretend to completely like me.”

    “What’s that supposed to mean?!” Chloé glared at Marinette before her eyes softened. “Oh, you mean that. Look I’m still getting used to having a real friend. Which we have only been for a day.”

    “Maybe, but you’ve been nicer to me than anyone else in our class in the past week.”

    Suddenly Tikki flew away and hid as the trapdoor opened to Sabine. “Here are the treats girls.”

    “Thank you Mme. Dupain-Cheng.” Chloé thanked Sabine and took the platter from her.

    “I’m just glad Marinette has someone coming over again.”

    Chloé nodded and took the treats over to Marinette as Sabine went back down. As the designer picked up one piece, Chloé picked up another. “To new friendships I suppose.”

    “Right, to new friendships.” Marinette nodded, then pressed her piece against Chloé’s for a moment as if they were clinking glasses after a toast before she took a bite.

    Chloè took a bite of her own and was amazed at how it tasted. She barely ate anything from the bakery if she could help it, but she had to admit, everything they made was delicious. “This is amazing!”

    Marinette laughed. “It must be if you’re talking with your mouth full.”

    “Oh shut up!” Chloé said, failing to stifle a laugh, proceeding to playfully push Marinette a little. It took her back to their first year of school together. Well it wasn’t quite school. It was a day of daycare while their parents were working together on something. It was the first and last time they were together before Chloé really started to act like a bully. Just before her mother left for her nearly permanent move to America.

    “Thanks Marinette. For letting me have the chance to be your friend.”

    Marinette gave a small smile. “I’m glad you’re willing to change.”

    The two gave a quick hug before continuing their time together, eventually losing track of how late it was getting, leading to Chloé calling her father to say she was staying over, which was fine since tomorrow they didn’t have school.

    Chloé was surprised to find that Marinette had some Queen Bee pajamas, though she seemed to have a set for each of the heroes. Marinette dressed herself in what was likely her regular pajamas. The designer then set up a place on the floor with plenty of blankets and pillows. “There, I can sleep here and you can have the bed.”

    “Thanks Marinette.” Chloé smiled before getting into the bed. They were just getting situated and ready to sleep, when out of nowhere, there was a knock on the door. The door to the balcony.

[silvers-au-stuff]

I caught you - prologue

Logan glanced at the ticking clock impatiently, it was just minutes and the last day of school would finally be over. Minutes went by before the clock rang out and he and his classmates hurried out of the classroom. Before the tall senior could get out of the building someone grabbed him by the shoulder and said: “Woah there lo not even gonna say goodbye before you leave?” Logan smiled as he turned around to face his friend decans, he and dee had been friends since 4th grade when the two had been seated next to each other on the first day of school. “you do realize that we will spend most of the summer and all of college together, yes?” Logan asked the blonde as he did his best to stifle a smile. “but looooo I’ll be out of town for the rest of the week to see my soulmate and you know that” the blonde whined dramatically and leaned on his friend, “well of course I know that, it’s the only thing you and Remus have been talking about for like the last month by now, anyway would you like me to give you one last drive home from here?” he asked as the two walked down the emptying corridor. “aw I would love to, and for once you’re offering” decans smiled as he followed the taller teen out to the parking lot. “well last time I can so why not” Logan shrugged as they walked over to his car, the two jumped in and drove off.

It didn’t take too long to drive decans home thankfully, however, Logan still decided to take the long drive home. Thoughts about soulmates swirled around in his head, he had three of them. He could still remember the day the drawings first started appearing on his arms, he was so amazed and immediately started drawing back as soon as he had understood what was going on. Even if having multiple soulmates was something unusual Logan’s parents were very supportive of it. As the years went on, they started writing to each other, at first it had been messy with some spelling errors, but it all improved with time and they learned so much about each other. Roman, the one writing in red had been the one who asked what everyone’s names were since he had gotten sick of just calling his soulmates by the colors they all wrote in.

Roman, of course, had started by telling them his name before the writing in light blue revealed himself as Patton and purple softly after followed by telling them his name was Virgil, Logan for reasons he still didn’t know just asked them to call him lo or keep calling him blue, much to the dismay of Roman.

As the years won't on his soulmates had began talking about meeting, he had both been extremely excited but also worried about meeting them, he was worried he wasn’t good enough or that they wouldn’t like him, throw him in the trash and pretend he didn’t exist, and of course he didn’t ever tell them in case he would somehow upset them with his irrational thoughts. So without even thinking about it he had started to talk to them less and less, wearing long sleeves almost every day, he still wrote sometimes , to show that he was still there, when the three of them met and he saw just how happy the three of them were with him he realized that they wouldn’t need him in order to be happy. That’s when the talking and doodling from his side died completely and he dove headfirst into his studies distancing himself from pretty much everything, he was hurting, and he didn’t want anyone to know about it.

When logan got home he parked his car in the driveway fully expecting to return to an empty house but was surprised when his mother’s where there to greet him by the door. “mom, mother what are the two of you doing home already?” the teen asked, his mother’s rosemary and Jillian were usually not home at this time of day and a majority of the time weren’t before 5 pm. “logan did you seriously think we’d treat today like any other day? You today were your last day of high school and you graduate tomorrow, go up and get changed we’re going out for dinner”. Logan was not surprised by it, to be honest, he nodded and headed upstairs to change into something else, he knew his mothers made a fuss about these things, and don’t let them get started with holidays.

Logan let out a relaxed sigh as he entered his room and shut his bedroom door behind him, he dumped his backpack on his bed before taking off his shirt, he could see the conversations and drawings decorating both his arms, the three had talked up a storm, all excited about being done with high school and the summer activates about to come, he smiled fondly and was about to reach out for one of his pens to write something before he stopped himself and instead turned towards his closet to get another shirt from his dresser. He put the shirt on, brushed his hair back in place and headed back down to his moms who were already ready to go. “ready kid?” Jillian asked and he nodded, they got into the car and drove off to one of the fancier places in town, it was no secrets that his family as well of and he was quite fortunate with that fact, Jillian was the co-owner of a big company and his other mother rosemary was the heir to a big fortune, despite the kind of money his family had he did not consider himself spoiled, Jillian or mom as he called her had taught him about the virtues of hard work and that you should work hard for the things he wanted, and so he did, studied his ass off in order to get good grades of and get into his college of choice. He was so grateful for having them and really loved them both, his dad had walked out on him and rosemary, when he was only a year and a half and rosemary, had met Jillian a half a year later when dropping him off at daycare where the two finally met each other after 20+ years of things and other people coming between them.

They arrived at the restaurant and were led towards the table Jillian had reserved for them. They ate and talked while they ordered and ate. They later came home laughing and spent some time in front of the tv before Logan decided to head back upstairs to his room.

Logan took off his shirt and collapsed on his bed, he kicked off his bed and simply put on his sleeping t-shirt. He picked up his phone and began scrolling through his notifications, decans had texted him about the next day about when and where they’d meet before the graduation ceremony, he replied and their conversation went from texts to face time, they talked for a few hours before Logan said goodnight, but he didn’t go to bed yet, he took one last look at his arms before deciding to grab a pen and drew a forget-me-not on his wrist before deciding to go to bed. He laid there in the darkness for god knows how long wondering if they still remembered him, or if they hated him for having been absent for so long, but eventually, he drifted off into a dreamless slumber.

This can be read on ao3 as well! https://archiveofourown.org/works/20739989/chapters/49276262#main

[oneletteredwondered]

Uuuhhhh sanders sides mental hospital au with a bunch of cliches that literally no one asked for but it's also a soulmate au????

uhh warnings for disorder talk, suicide mention, swearing?

Polyamsanders mostly

Main story line?

When Virgil was a kid his parents were nice and all, but they did punish him for seemingly random things

They had him do chores a very specific way and if it wasn't done that way, he had to do it again and again to make sure it was proper

It resulted in him having a very high anxiety disorder, both socially and in general

He found he couldn't talk to a lot of people afraid to mess up, and over thinking how he messed up

Especially when it came to his soulmates

Had never written to them, refused to look at their notes, didn't think he would be able to keep them with how he is

Does not do well in messy environments, not necessarily OCD, but close

When he managed to move out his anxiety left his home foodless, and he couldn't talk to get food, so he went hungry

Ended up a cycle and punishment system for himself

Can't talk so can't eat, couldn't talk don't deserve to eat

Someone found him passed out in the laundry room of his apartment complex

Doctors found him extremely malnourished and unable to communicate, so they sent him to the mental hospital to get better

Virgil had the absolute worst time adjusting, had multiple panic attacks every day for like a week straight

He wouldn't talk to anyone and could barely be forced out of bed to join group sessions or meal times

Barely ate anything and almost passed out again

After two weeks of straight up anxiety and no food exhaustion, he finally got tired enough to actually talk to his therapist

Dr Picani is wonderful, says things light hearted and never tries to pry. The kind of therapist to make a small joke or reference to make sure his clients aren't having huge breakdowns

Virgil does open up to him, they decide to tackle the anorexia first

It's difficult to convince Virgil he’s worthy of eating and that food should never under any circumstances be used negatively

But they manages to get him to at least eat something and that's a start

The first time Picani asks about virgil’s soulmate, Virgil has a panic attack

And every time after as well

Come to find out the word 'soulmate' is triggering to him

Sudden flashes of hunger pains and a blinding feeling he's not worth it

They start using the word heartbound

Virgil starts trying to hang out and talk to some of the other residents

Has a panic attack before he can say hi, but the others walk him back to his room and invite him to hang out later

He does, and its good for his recovery

It takes some time to get virgil proper anxiety medication, his body rejects the first two, throwing up and feeling too tired

Virgil wants to stop feeling helpless and so scared all the time, wants to start getting better

They get him on a small dose of one kind, and it works for a while

Picani convinces Virgil that even if he wants to get better on his own, his heartbounds deserve to know he exists, that Virgil shouldn't be afraid to do so

So Virgil does, with overwhelming support from people he doesn't know

He doesn't talk to them, but he no longer hides their notes from himself

Visiting/progress update day is coming up, and with Picani there to tell him it's okay, Virgil writes the address of the hospital asking them to come

He gets confirmation and is able to calm himself out of an attack before it can really start

It's a good day

They carefully raise his dosage till he can be more personable, more himself

He's shaking visiting day, a message on his arm that his heartbounds will be wearing black, blue, and red respectively

So when three people walk in, one in a black button up with the sleeves rolled up to their elbows, another in a blue tee with a design on it that looks like it could be a grandma sweater, and another in a red shirt with white sleeves and heeled boots, Virgil almost faints

There's a lot going for him and it's hard to handle

So the one in the blue sweater is the first to notice Virgil staring bugeyed at them and just knows

So they all go over to him and Virgil stands in a daze and just falls into their arms, clinging to each of them with all he has

They whisper words of encouragement and love and someone is kissing his head and hands and gosh there's a lot going on

The actual session is good, Picani tells virgil’s heartbounds his progress (eating more, anxiety medication getting to the right spot, self confidence boosted) and they are so happy and proud!!!!

Almost a panic attack when they mention 'soulmate', Virgil manages to coax himself out of it while Picani carefully explains triggers

It's a tearful and loving goodbye and Virgil is sure he might just explode because his mind had thought about this moment before and it's never been this good and this is real and oh god hes crying and now the other ones are crying and hugging him and it's a lot

He's damn exhausted at the end of the day

But he has his heartbound now, and it's okay

Eventually he does get out, better, happier, healthier, and his heartbound are 170% so ready to have him in their lives

Other character notes

Picani and Logan are brothers, Picani is older by 6 years

Picani has cute art all over his session room, also a bunch of blankets

Always has candy

Studied psychology because of his soulmate, wanted to help them get better

Turns out you can't be your soulmates therapist so oops

He likes his job a lot anyways

Logan is a history professor

He's also on the autistic spectrum

Very sound sensitive

Doesn't understand social cues a lot, not sure how to properly small talk, and ends up leaving out information that might be important

Such as telling his brother Picani that he has another soulmate who is in therapy who finally talked to him, the day Virgil writes to his soulmates for the first time

He doesn't understand why he's being teased for this

Gets in the habit of telling Virgil "this is a comfortable silence for me" because sometimes Logan will just stop and think and its.. very quiet

He also says obvious things, because honestly, it's nice for Virgil

"I find your company an enjoyable addition to my life" "this conversation is pleasant, I am just done talking now"

Hyperfixation on space and stars and history

Stims upset but clenching and unclenching his hands, happy stims by tapping

Patton works at a daycare center

Has adhd

It's hard for him to sit still and focus, can't remember a lot of things no matter how often hes been told

Has every single fidget product ever

Works best when he has three things to do at once

When he gets into hyperfocus, it's really difficult to get him out of it

Ends up skipping meals and other daily activities because of it

Wet himself once because he knew that if he moved from his spot he would never get back into the same groove

He's very embarrassed by this fact

Hyperfixates on dog and cat breeds

Roman does a bunch of shit

Acts, dances, designs, creates, anything that involves doing and 'art' has doing it

Has manic depressive bipolar disorder

His room is atrocious and there are half finished projects everywhere

He can never seem to complete anything, and when he does he hates it

His depressive episodes come about after finishing things or having not finished something in a long time

He feels worthless and that he can't do anything

His lows are not often, but they hit hard.

He's very dead to the world in such a state, likes it when Logan reads to him

Was treated by Picani too

They have all been living together for three years before getting their first message from virgil

Patton FLIPPED OUT, Roman screamed, and Logan kind of just went 'oh' but they could tell he was happy because he kept tapping his hands to his legs

At the hospital virgil made friends with the following people:

Elliot is one of the first to welcome Virgil and always invited Virgil to hang with the rest of them, no matter how many times Virgil said no

Virgil walks past the hang out room, he calls to ask if he wants to hang out, virgil shakes his head hard and runs. every day for like a month until virgil says yes.

Got really happy when Virgil said yes

In the hospital to get over trauma from an abusive relationship, flinches a lot

Declan, is, an asshole

He's also a pathological liar

has scratches down the side of his face from when one of his parents threw a vase at him

No one knows what is real name is, said is was felio, fabian, Damien, declan, dimitri, dolos, lionel, loki, belial, cody, and on one momentous occasion, Samantha

Most of the names he give a start with d, so most just call him Dee or declan, its the name he gives out most

Sometimes hell ask to be called a certain name for a day, everyone just rolls with it

Declan learned to lie and lie well due to overly strict and picky parents, it was to protect himself from them and even protect his older brother who was a lot softer than him

older brother, who is actually called fabian, is there for him on visiting day.

Will say something, wince, take a deep breath, then say the truth with a lot of effort

Writing is so much easier for him

Has insane trust issues, his name being one of them, only his family really know it

Has only told his soulmate his name

Picani knows his name, won’t tell anyone

Remy

Is also an asshole but like in a nice way?

Fucking loud to compensate for how tired he really is

In his own words, ‘has insomnia and is depressed A-F’

Wanted to kill himself

Will claim Starbucks saved his life to be dramatic, only few people know why, declan virgil and picani know

Remy is the kind of depressed where he wouldn’t kill himself because of 'future obligation’

'My parents aren’t home I could easily do it but I told them I would feed the cats and they wont get fed if i do it now’ or 'i have so much time but I told my friend i would edit their essay and I need to do that first’

Went out with friends to just dick around, got a stupid fancy drink at Starbucks, and told his mom about it when he got home

Decided he would kill himself tomorrow, he gave his friends one last good memory, told his mom he loved her, he was ready

Next day his mom give a him a 50$ gift card to starbucks, told him it’s for him and his friends because that’s the happiest she’s seen him in so long

He fucking broke down because he can’t kill himself now, he can’t waste her money or her kindness but he’s so fucking tired and so done and he can’t do it anymore

She supports him as best she can and gets him to the hospital

During visiting day she brings his friends, all wearing matching sunglasses, and a coffee carrier with like five different drinks all for him

They all scream at each other happily and they talk about how much better he looks, how much happier

His friends are the slowmo super heroes and sun and moon

No one in the hospital knows his soulmate or if he even has one

uhh taadaa! do with this what you will

[chronicbatfictioner]

Theater of the Soul - Chapter 9

Bright red. He saw flashes of red. Most things around his world were red. His blanket is red, he knew. Not a blanket, really; but once upon a time, it was red. His shirt was red - he thought. Whatever color it was today, he was quite sure it was red. Probably some time when he'd acquired it from the trash can, before the dirt and grime from the street stained it. 

There was a red-breasted birdy in his pocket. There was once a little bird in his life. Both were gone, and he did not know where they went. But he was quite sure that it had been his fault. Everything were his fault. He was not strong enough. He wouldn't follow orders. He wasn't smart enough..

Thoughts jumbled to and fro in his brain today. There have been too many noises around that had disrupted his day. He hated the loud noises - police cars passing by, voices screeching somewhere in the distance, bangings of god knows what. He'd been keeping himself safe, under the blanket. Things can go by over the blanket and he would be okay.

There were noises of people talking near him. They sounded like they were under water. Or maybe he was the one under water.

He could hear the person calling him, thinking that the voice had come from the person he usually shared his space with - the one with the little kid. He peeked out from under the blanket, and immediately focused on the male voice. He recognized the male's form, curly hair, brown skin, kind hazel eyes. There were other forms that were mere human-shaped blurs in his eyes.

One of the blurs knelt in front of him. There was something about it that didn't scream 'danger' to him, and he waited. The blur showed him something. Something in a rectangle it was holding in its hand. Something with long, soft, flowy red hair.

Something that felt like home.

He tentatively reached for it.

Surprisingly, the old man was right. Just a few corners from the Art Districts, Tim noticed a few lumps of... something? someone? -- covered in tarps. On impulse, he approached the reddish colored one and tapped the foot area. Or at least the spot he thought where a foot would be.

Somebody else called out, "hey, don't bug him!"

Tim startled a little, but then noticed that the guy calling out to him was only a kid around his age, with a messy afro and brown skin, wearing several layers of clothes and probably pants, too - likely to make himself look bigger. "Hi," Tim greeted him politely, and noticed Helena a safe distance away behind the guy. "I'm not planning to bug him. Can you... have you seen this guy?" he offered Jason's photo again.

The boy studied the photo for a moment and then snorted. "Can't believe that's him... but yeah, he's the Red Hoodie kid." he pointed to the red tarp. "But you don't wanna bug him, really. He gets vicious." he added.

"Why?" Tim was more startled at the meekness of his own voice. "He's... he's my brother... Is he okay?"

The boy looked only slightly skeptical before he shrugged. "Not really. He was like that when he got here. Snorted some bad drug, prolly. But he ain't hurtin' us and gets vicious when people nag us." he said proudly. "Up all night to watch out for us and sleeps all day while we watch out for him."

"Who's we?" Tim asked curiously.

"Me and my lil sis. He did good by us."

Tim studied the boy, seriously couldn't be much older than Tim. "Are you here with your folks?" Tim asked carefully.

Maybe it was because Tim was as young as he was, maybe he didn't notice Helena loitering nearby, but the boy seemed relaxed. "Naah, our mom got busted coupla months ago for hooking. No dad, ever. She'll be outta jail next week and we're good. Red's been lookin' out for us." he said, adding, "He your brother?"

"Where do you live, usually?"

"Compton, baybeeh. But don't sweat it, buddy. We been on the street before. Mom was hookin' 'cause she was lookin' for some cash for food. She got fired, y'see." he explained. "I'm Danny."

"I'm Tim," Tim accepted the extended hand. "Where's your sister now?"

"At Hope, they have a daycare there."

Tim definitely gulped, silently hoping that the boy meant the sister was working there instead of being cared for in there. "How old is your sister?" he croaked, inwardly cringing at the obviously illogical thought: if the sister was working, the boy wouldn't need to be on the streets now, would he?

"Four. She's not like, really my sister. Just like, half sister, right? But her dad is an asshole and got himself killed in a drive-by and my momma gotta support her and me. She got fired from her school - she was a teacher, see. Not that it paid much, but without it, she's got nothin'." he shrugged. "What's your deal, man?"

"I..." Tim hesitated, looking at the lump that was supposed to be Jason. "I'm looking for my brother. We're... not related. But we're both adopted. And he... I guess he was angry when I got adopted, too, he thought I was there to replace him." he explained, deciding as he went to give just about 75% of the truth, "he ran away. Our dad's been looking for him, and I finally decided to come here with a family friend. I was hoping I'd get a better luck..."

"Lucky," the boy - Danny- said. "I'm too old to get fostered and would end up in a group home. My sis could end up at some random pedo's house." he shrugged. "But anyway, mom'll be out next week, anyway. He's been helping me get some cash for the bus fare to county jail. So we're good. --hey Red! Somebody's here to see you."

The bundle shuffled, and the head part finally uncovered itself, showing a bush of jet black hair and a white streak on the bangs. Tim almost thought it was not Jason, until the guy opened his eyes.

And Tim swore he would never be able to forget those eyes. In spite of both their eyes being blue, Tim's were more indigo whereas Jason's were more turquoise. Thanks to his camera, Tim also knew that there was a little imperfection in Jason's right eye, a fleck of hazel among the blue-greens.

He was more alarmed at the blankness of the eyes, though, although he knew that behind the scruffy beard, the guy was definitely Jason. A lot bigger than the last time he saw him, but still Jason.

"Jason?" he called out tentatively, surprisingly calmly considering he wanted to yell and jump and maybe high-five Helena or something. "Would he run...?" he asked Danny carefully. Jason was still staring at him blankly.

"Naah, he knows he's safe here. We look after our own, right, Red?" Danny replied. But there was a note of pensiveness that was audible enough to make Tim turn and look at him.

"You're scared that I'm gonna take him away and leave you and your sister unprotected." Tim hypothesized. 

Danny gave him a nervous laugh. "We'll get by. Just a week, right? At least he'll get healthcare or something."

Tim finally met Helena's eyes. "No, it's not right." Tim said. "Can you do something? If not, I'd rather have them in Bruce's place." he asked Helena. He noticed that at the mention of 'Bruce', Jason's eyes started to blink rapidly.

Helena sighed. "You know what? Why don't I go get my car and we'll think about this later..." she said. "I got the feeling that you're just like daddy, Tim... you can't just let something like this pass."

"Absolutely not. Hey, Danny, how far is Hope daycare?" Tim asked, deciding something in his mind.

"Not far, why?"

"Right. Here's the thing. Jason trusts you, and he probably doesn't remember me - he's been gone for over a year, after all. I've probably physically changed than the one he remembered. Miss Helena here will go grab her car, and then you'll help me load Jason into the car, and then we'll go to where I'm staying." Tim said. "You and your sister can come, too, and you can stay there with me until your mom gets out of jail. Or, maybe with Helena. I don't know yet. I'll figure something out on the way and set something up. I'm not gonna leave you here on the streets alone."

Danny glared at Tim contemplatively for a good long while with one crooked eyebrow, as if trying to decide if Tim was nuts or lying.

"I'm not nuts, I'm not lying. Helena, please? The soonest we can get Jason out of the streets the better." Tim prompted as he pulled out his cellphone and called Barbara. "Babs? I found him." he said immediately as soon as Barbara picked up the phone.

"Tim, you're a magic worker, I swear. Can I talk to him?" Barbara replied, the relief in her voice palpable.

"I'm putting you on video call. Maybe he'll recognize you."

"Recog-- wait, what?"

Tim predicted that Jason would react strongly to Barbara's face, and he did. Jason's eyes began to tear up as he saw Barbara's face in the phone. He reached for it, and Tim handed it over, watching as Jason cradled the phone in his hands. Barbara reacted just as Tim hoped, she continued talking to Jason - saying whatever it was in her mind, probably, that calmed Jason. 

While Jason continued cradling the phone in his hands and looked blankly at Barbara's face, Tim turned to Danny and Helena expectantly. "You guys have a problem with my other plans?"

Helena smirked fiendishly. "Tim, buddy, at this point in my life, if your plans include the invasion of Normandy, I'm just gonna start rolling my sleeves and pack an overnight bag."