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gothcsz · 7 months ago

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Dusk | No outbreak!Joel x Fem!Reader | ~8.2k wc | Explicit. Minors DNI.

Summary: You become a park ranger at a national park in California after breaking up with your ex. You meet Joel Miller, the chief ranger there, and find yourself absolutely smitten over him.

Tags: smut, attempted assault (not by joel), unprotected p in v sex, fingering, oral (f recieving), no use of Y/N, reader is a professor, other shit i’m probably forgetting.

A/N: i wrote this during a long car ride in my notes app so i’m NAWT liable for any mistakes xoxo this is also my first attempt at writing joel so i hope i did our man justice 😋

You’ve always been an outdoorsy person. Girl scout as a child, camp counselor in your teens, camp manager in your twenties— and not to mention the plenty of solo camping trips you’ve taken and the amount of hikes you’ve trekked.

Then there’s your full time job as wildlife biology professor in New York.

Being out in nature is the only time you ever feel true, serene peace. Who would have thought? It keeps you healthy and entertained. Most of the hobbies you indulge in and skills you have revolve around being outdoors.

Becoming a park ranger had never been part of your plans, per se, but after a really messy engagement that ended with the wedding being postponed indefinitely and then being overwhelmed by your friends and family afterwards; you needed an out.

The offer to become a ranger at a national park in California came at the perfect time. You didn’t hesitate to sign on to the job, especially since it was being offered to you by a long-time close friend you had met online through a Hiking Tips & More! Facebook group.

So you packed as much as you needed and booked your flight from upstate New York to California.

You’d be stationed there for the summer and the pay was decent. Whatever, you weren’t too hung up on that detail since you are financially stable enough to take the pay cut for the next few months.

After going through the motions of getting registered and settling in at the local lodge themed motel, you use an afternoon to just take everything in. You’ve never had the pleasure to visit any of the parks on the west coast so this experience is extra exciting for you.

You’re already prepared yourself to do some birdwatching and to brush up on your botany knowledge.

Before you are assigned a location and station, it’s required for you to attend an orientation of sorts for the new cohort of rangers working for the summer.

The intent is to go over routines and day-to-day tasks. Most of the job you already know from when you got your certification before going to graduate school. You thought you would have the time to become a ranger then, but life had humbled you quickly so the certification was never put to use.

Until now.

It’s around 7 in the morning when you arrive to the meeting room at the national park. Others linger around but you make a beeline towards the coffee machine; absolutely needing your caffeine fix for the morning.

Definitely don’t forget to bring that with you. You went quite feral without caffeine— god forbid any man, or bear, come across you before you’ve had your cup of coffee.

You fix the drink as you always take it, realizing you’ve just emptied what was left in the glass container.

Not wanting to be the asshole that left everyone else with no coffee, you rummage through the cupboards until you find the container with the grounds and you brew more, doing your good deed for the day.

Blowing against the mug before bringing it up to your lips, you savor the taste and let out a content hum.

“Was that the last of it?”

Your attention immediately flits up at the sound of the deep, southern drawl that’s like honey to your ears.

Before you stands a unit of a man: tall, broad— rugged. He’s obviously older, the salt and pepper colors of his hair and beard complimenting both smile lines and frown wrinkles on his face.

Oh, he’s handsome as hell.

“U-Uh no— yes… Well I just put more in. Should be ready soon.” You flash him a small smile, mentally kicking yourself for stuttering like a fool. Suddenly, you’re aware of how unflattering the park ranger uniform looks on you.

He can’t say the same, clearly, since the collared shirt hugs him snugly across his triceps and shoulders, stretching across the broadness of his chest. There’s a few pins attached to his front, and that’s when you catch the golden glint of his metallic name tag.

J. Miller

He just nods in response, his gaze fixated on you, “I recognize most people here.… but not you. This your first rodeo as a ranger?”

Now it’s your turn to nod, “Yes, but not my first rodeo in the field. I got my certification a few years back but never got the chance to use it.”

He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, the smell of the fresh brewing coffee hitting your senses. “Ah— I see. Figured you were new. I woulda definitely remembered a pretty face like yours.”

This has you blushing, hard, and biting down softly on your bottom lip. You can’t remember the last time someone had so openly flirted with you like this.

Your asshole of an ex-fiance quit complimenting you shortly after getting engaged. Come to think of it, most of the problems and red flags started happening after you got the ring on your finger.

Ugh, focus! You scold yourself. You have an attractive, out of your league man flirting with you and you’re here thinking of your shitty ex.

“Thank you. I think I would have remembered a face like mine, too.” You’ve never been good at receiving compliments, so you do what you do best and use humor to navigate the conversation.

He chuckles and immediately you’re wanting to hear more of that sound. It’s deep yet comforting and now you’re wondering if you’re being a weirdo for being attracted to a man’s laugh (amongst other things) like this.

You make small talk standing by the coffee machine as more people begin to trickle in. He tells you his name is Joel and that he’s been a park ranger for twenty years and a chief ranger for ten. He has a daughter named Sarah who’s in college further down in the state and you can tell just how much he cares about her by the way he dotes on her.

No mention of a wife or girlfriend, though. You don’t see a band on his finger… there’s no way this man is just walking around single like this.

In return, you tell him your name and some of your background (sans the trainwreck engagement) and he’s fascinated by the fact that you’re a professor.

His interest in you has butterflies fluttering in your stomach and it doesn’t help that he’s got the sexiest little Texan accent you’ve ever heard. Each word sending you deeper and deeper into this crush that has blossomed seemingly out of nowhere for a man you’ve just met.

Amidst the conversation that flows naturally between the two of you, there’s an aura of flirtation and attraction that the both of you seem to be reciprocating. Or at least you are. Hopefully you’re not reading this wrong.

Please don’t let me be reading this wrong.

It’s not until you both have finished your coffee that everyone arrives and he has to excuse himself.

Apparently he’s leading the orientation.

The entire time he’s giving his presentations and demonstrating safety procedures, you can’t help but ogle him.

He fits this career so well with how carries himself. Confident, steadfast, knowledgeable, fucking sexy. You just want to run your fingers through his curly, thick hair and tug on it while you ride the daylights out of him.

This sudden intrusive thought has you clenching your thighs together and that’s enough to get your focus back on the meeting and not how you want him to demolish you.

His forearm flexes, the veins protruding, as he demonstrates how to tie a tight and secure knot; his fingers moving dexterously against the rope.

Damn your dry spell and this attractive ass man.

The orientation concludes with everyone getting their assigned areas and tasks. Your folder is labeled 125.

“We’re on a two week on two week off schedule. You’ll spend two weeks manning your station before there’s a shift change. Daily tasks will be given during mornin’ check-ins along with any other pivotal information. Each camp has a binder with any additional information you will need alongside a long list of phone numbers and radio codes in case somethin’ goes awry. First shift report back here at 6 sharp tomorrow mornin’. Any further questions can be directed towards me or my partner Tommy.”

“Brother,” Tommy, who has been leaning against the wall this entire time, interjects with a playful grin and this has your brows quirking in both amusement and intrigue. He works with his younger brother. How cute.

“Yeah, yeah. That too.” Though it’s gruff, you can clearly pick up the lighthearted tone in Joel’s reply.

You want to stick around and talk with him some more, but you don’t want to come off as annoying so the second you’re all dismissed— you’re the first to be out of the room.

It’s not till you’re further down the hall that you hear your name being called out and turn to see Joel lightly jogging to catch up.

“I’m not in trouble, am I?” You ask teasingly and you catch the small smile that tugs at his lips.

“Not at all. Just wanted to make sure you were okay with your assignment.” You hadn’t even looked at the folder that he had passed to you during the meeting. It had all the information about your post.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You open the file and see a small map with your area circled in red sharpie. You see the surnames of all the other park rangers littered about on the page; and then you see Miller written by the fire lookout closest to yours.

“I gave you a smaller area since it’s your first time out here and all,” He scratches at his jaw, as if he’s almost nervous to be telling you this, “Once you get the hang of it, which ‘m sure will be in no time, I’ll put ya somewhere more… challengin’.”

It’s sweet, this gesture of his. Easing you into the job. If it had been anyone else, you would have defended your skillset and wit and demanded to be put somewhere ‘challenging’, but since it’s Joel you don’t think twice about it.

“Sounds like a plan. Thanks for this.” You smile up at him as you close the folder and he matches the expression, making him look boyish as his sweet brown eyes catch yours.

“No problem, darlin’. See you tomorrow mornin’?”

Or we can go back to my motel room, get to know each other a little bit better?

“See you tomorrow morning.”

⛰️ 🏕️ 🪓 🐻 ☀️

You finish packing the rest of your things before heading out for your first shift on the job.

Taking one last look at yourself in the mirror, you straighten out your uniform and fix your neatly braided hair before exiting the stuffy motel room.

You wouldn’t be so hung up on your appearance had it not been for the attractive DILF that’s suddenly overtaken every inch of your mind.

You haven’t stopped thinking about him since meeting him yesterday. He seems so sweet and kind; but also with a ruggedness that makes you wonder what kind of lover he is.

Is he a giver or does he only focus on getting himself off? Does he bite and leave marks? Does he prefer his women being bent over or on top of him?

Yeah, you definitely need to go outside and touch some grass.

This entire experience feels like a new beginning, a chance to reinvent yourself before flying back home and starting the new semester.

Your cab takes longer than expected to arrive at the motel, which in turn makes you late to showing up at the meeting spot.

When you burst through the doors, breathing heavily, your heart sinks at the sight of an empty room and you berate yourself for not allotting extra time for mishaps.

“Thought you got cold feet.”

You jump in your spot and whip around to face the handsome jump scare.

Joel is leaning against the counter on the back wall, arms crossed over his chest making the fabric of his button up shirt stretch obscenely over his toned upper body.

“Can’t be too jumpy out in the woods, darlin’. ‘S how you get got.”

“Fuck— sorry. My cab ran late, which isn’t an excuse for my tardiness but—”

He chuckles with a shake of his head and that has the rest of your words hitching in your throat.

“Relax, s’okay. All is right. Everyone else is already situated out there. Figured I’d hang back in case you showed. Didn’t really think you’d bail. Don’t seem like the type.”

You’re relieved, to say the least, that he’s taking mercy on you despite not liking the fact that he has to.

You’re a professional, running late is out of character for you. Even if it was due to a circumstance you couldn’t control.

You let your shoulders drop, pairing the action with a soft sigh. “Thank you. It won’t happen again. I’m more than ready to start the day.”

He studies you for a brief moment with an unreadable expression and it makes you self conscious. Is there something on my face? Is my hair sticking out somewhere?

“Okay. C’mon, let me drive you to your station.” He pushes himself off the counter and you follow him out of the cabin-styled building and to his ranger truck that has the park’s name printed on it in bold letters.

“Nice ride.” You say as you slide into the cab of the truck, setting your large backpack in the back seat.

He mutters out a brief thanks before starting the vehicle and pulling out into the rocky terrain of the park.

You can’t help the look of awe on your face as you stick your head out of the rolled down window to take in the view.

The picturesque peak of the mountain ranges surrounded by lush greenery is breathtaking and it only makes you more excited to have some alone time in the midst of it all.

What you don’t see, though, is the way Joel keeps stealing glances at you. He thinks you’re so beautiful, especially with how entranced you are by the natural setting.

You finally make it to the small area of your camp and he helps you settle in to the small structure that’ll be your home for the next two weeks.

It consists of a twin bed, bedside table, a small desk with your equipment on it and a lamp.

Very home-y. You really only got the place for the view.

“Thanks for the ride… and for waiting for me back there.” You tell him, adjusting the backpack strap against your shoulder.

“S’not a problem at all. I’m posted up a few miles north so that makes us neighbors.”

“Well, if I need some sugar or something— I’ll make sure to stop by.” You tease and this gets a chuckle out of him which has your heart soaring.

“Alright, sugar, you radio me or anyone else if you need anythin’’.”

“I will.”

⛰️ 🏕️ 🪓 🐻 ☀️

The first week goes by like a breeze. You spend most of your days hiking around your assigned area to make sure everything is as normal as it can be out here.

You tend to your daily tasks, listening along to your audiobooks. Taking in the scenery. You even find the time to explore some of the various native flowers and plants that bloom here.

It’s peaceful and exactly what you needed.

You come to discover that while you were already attracted to the sound of Joel’s deep, honeyed southern voice; you were even more attracted to it over the distortion of the radio.

Every morning you’re greeted by it during task assignments and when he gives the weather forecast for the day.

Every afternoon you hear it when he checks-in through the walkie talkie.

Every night you hear it when he does roll call to make sure everyone is alright and present.

Those are the only times you’re able to really communicate with him. You’re both so busy dealing with the job during the day then bone tired by night to really make anything out of the attraction that lingers.

And boy does it linger. You’ve never been this worked up over a man… like ever. Even with your ex the infatuation had never been this intense.

The sex with him was fine. Normal. Vanilla. The lovers you had before him were all a variation of the same thing.

So the bar was in hell— literally. That’s probably why you’re so obsessed with wanting Joel Miller to fucking destroy you.

You’re on the way back to your camp for the day when you come across a clearing, four men camping out of various tents.

“Park ranger here. Just making my rounds. Are you guys well?”

You smile politely at them, watching as they eye you up and down then suddenly— you’re feeling uncomfortable in your own skin.

“Better now. You out here all alone, sweetheart?”

You clock the pervy tone in his voice immediately, clenching your jaw but trying to keep an aura of professionalism.

You’re required to carry a gun and a taser, for obvious reasons, but not once did you ever think you would actually have to use it.

Yet with the way these men are staring at you like you’re a piece of meat— you’re really resisting the urge to let your hand hover over the weapon.

“Heading back to my partner now. You guys have a good night.” You lie with a forced smile that pains your lips as you turn from them, wanting to put as much distance between you and them as you can.

No way are you revealing that you are, in fact, alone with the nearest help being miles away.

“Oh c’mon, baby, stay a while.” A different man calls out and you can hear them following after you.

Your stomach bottoms out at the thought of them actually following you all the way back to your camp. Your location is marked on most of the maps that are posted around the area, in case of emergencies, but now you’re hyperaware that they could just go look for it and find you in no time.

Swallowing thickly, you trek forward and continue to ignore their catcalls until suddenly one of them has got a tight hold on your forearm and yanks you back against his chest.

You let out a squeal of surprise mixed with fear. Your only saving grace right now is your giant backpack since it keeps you from being flush against him.

“Get your hands off me!” You struggle against his iron grip, trying to use your free hand to reach for your weapon but he twists the arm he does have in his hold, and it renders you immobile.

You wince at the pain, adrenaline coursing through you as you hear his three other friends join and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what demise you’re about to meet.

You’re so fucking afraid so you channel that fear to kickstart your flight or fight— choosing both as you lift your foot then slam it down harshly against your captors foot.

Thank god for these heavy ass hiking boots.

The hit does enough to loosen his grip on you just enough for you to shimmy out; using the fleeting seconds you have to knee him in the balls before you take off running.

You hear them screaming profanities at you, calling you a “cunt” “bitch” “whore” amongst many other things. They’re relentless as you hear twigs snapping and leaves crushing beneath their running footsteps.

Your backpack is hindering you at this point so you unbuckle the straps that run across your chest and discard of it quickly, changing course to try and throw them off your trail.

You don’t know how long you run or where you run to, now completely lost as the last hint of sunlight disappears behind the mountains.

You don’t hear anyone chasing after you anymore but you’re not stupid enough to stop and check, so you do the next best thing which is to change your route again before finding solace behind a Giant sequoia tree.

Taking deep breaths to calm your racing heart, you slowly peek around the hefty trunk to see if they were still chasing after you.

They’re not.

Allowing yourself to feel relief, you lean back against the tree and close your eyes to keep the tears away.

Don’t cry— not now. You’re not completely out of the woods yet… ha!

You shake your head at your conscience, hands shaking as they reach for your walkie talkie to seek the help of the only man you want around you right now.

“Call to 121 from 125. Over.”

“121 to 125 on frequency 9. Over.”

You switch frequencies and immediately break procedure once you know it’s just you and Joel on the call.

“J-Joel? Do you copy? Over.”

Immediately he responds, worry evident in his voice.

“What’s goin’ on? Are you okay? Over.”

You take a second to calm down so you can concisely explain your situation.

“I was chased through the forest by a group of campers. I got disoriented, lost my bag, and now I-I’m lost and it’s so dark out. I need you to come find me. Or lead me to you… Over.”

“What do you see around you? Any distinctive characteristics? A trail? Over.”

He’s on high alert, getting methodical and procedural to suppress the rage he feels as your voice garbles through his walkie talkie.

You look around in desperation, flashlight in hand as you try to find anything that’ll pinpoint your location.

Nothing.

Letting out a frustrated groan, you weigh your options. You can walk around until you find something useful or stay put and wait who knows how long for Joel or those band of heathens to get to you.

He urgently calls your name through the walkie talkie when you don’t respond in a timely manner and you quickly snap out of your thoughts.

“N-No. Nothing. I’m going to keep walking until I find something. Over.”

“No. You have to stay put. ‘S dangerous out here at night. I’ll come to you. Over.”

“It’s dangerous during the day, too. I’m going. I’ll reach out to you when I find something… over and out.”

You don’t give him a chance to respond as you turn your walkie off, the batteries were already running low earlier in the day so you have to limit your use on it before you’re left stranded and walkie talkie-less.

There were extra batteries in your backpack… fuck men and their ability to ruin everything.

You walk through the pitch black forest with your chin held high, faking bravery to avoid succumbing to the fear that’s rattling in your bones.

The mosquitos bite at you, insects chirping about, and in the distance you can hear a coyote howl.

If you don’t survive tonight because of men then you won’t survive because of mother nature.

You wipe the sweat from your forehead, your exhaustion slowly catching up to you.

However, your ears perk at a low rumbling noise and your flashlight snaps in the direction in which you think you hear it coming from, your feet carrying you towards the source.

You damn near burst out in tears of joy once you see the large and beautiful waterfall that flows into the river below.

You radio Joel again, skipping the pleasantries and telling him your location.

You plop down on a bench that’s on the trail, overlooking the astounding scenery and finally you let out a sigh of actual relief. What a way to end your first official week as a park ranger.

About twenty minutes later you see his large silhouette booking it towards you, taking in your disheveled appearance once he’s close enough.

“Jesus fuckin’ christ, sugar, what the hell happened to you?”

He envelops you in his arms and you finally allow yourself to let a few tears seep out of your eyes and they land on the fabric of his shirt.

His smell, his touch are comforting as all hell and you find yourself melting into his embrace.

You feel safe. Protected.

“Just assholes being assholes. I ditched them, though. Barely. I should’ve been smarter and ran—“

He shushes you as you begin to victim blame yourself, pulling you from his chest so he can get a better look at your figure, trying to see if you were physically hurt.

Thank god you weren’t.

“All that matters now s’that you’re safe and with me, alright? ‘M west of here. ‘Bout a twenty minute hike. Can you make it?”

You can’t help but snort, blushing as his concerned expression flashes with frustration.

You’ve hiked through the Appalachian mountains— you can definitely do a mere twenty minutes. But you understand that he’s just trying to gauge how shaken up you are and is genuinely concerned about you.

“Yeah, I can make it.”

He pulls you into his chest once more and you inhale deeply, taking in his natural musk and how deliciously it pairs with the faintness of his cologne.

“Alright— let’s go.”

His chest rumbles as he speaks and you don’t want to leave the confines of his strong hold but you must. You’re ready to get this day over with.

You spill the details of your hectic predicament on the hike back to the fire tower he is stationed at. You can feel the energy radiating from his broad figure, his anger palpable as you describe the four men who had ganged up on you.

His strong jaw clenches, fists balling at his sides but he remains silent until you’ve finished.

You can only imagine what’s going on through his head… you can’t help but find his irritation alluring.

“If I had to ballpark it, I’d say they were roughly ten minutes north from my station. I know exactly where that clearing is.”

“You’ll stay with me tonight ‘n tomorrow after mornin’ announcements we’ll get back to your neck of the woods ‘n I’ll deal with those assholes myself.”

Your teeth sink in to your lower lip, his statement holding so much conviction that it makes your clit throb.

Then it sinks in: you’re staying the night with him… and you’re all sweaty and gross from the long fucking day you’ve had.

This would have been a much more enticing, ripe, and overall erotic scenario had today’s event not transpired.

“Not trying to sound pampered or anything but do you mind if I shower?”

“How on earth does that make you pampered? ‘S a shower, darlin’, and after the day you had today you need one.”

“You saying that I stink?”

“If the shoe fits…”

You elbow him softly as you both chuckle, not even realizing that you’ve gravitated closer towards one another.

Unlike your station, the fire lookout tower is much bigger and it sits higher up on the mountain. Large windows run all around the structure giving whoever’s inside a full 360° view of this side of the forest.

It’s absolutely stunning. You can only imagine how it looks during the day.

You look out from your spot on the wraparound porch as he unlocks the door then beckons you inside.

Yeah, this place is much nicer than yours. Probably because fire lookout shifts are usually more long term than normal park ranger ones.

There’s a small bathroom— with a shower—- in the far corner, along with a bed and some other miscellaneous furnishings.

Maybe you can sell your old place and move up here. The view is much nicer, anyways.

You laugh to yourself, lost in your own inner monologue and Joel looks at you funny.

“You good?”

Embarrassed slightly, you just nod. “Yeah, just a long day.”

His warm eyes convey the message ‘I understand’ and you instinctively smile.

“Sooo about that shower…”

“Uh, yeah, help yourself. Everythin’ you need should be in there. We get hot water up here so that shouldn’t be an issue. Holler if you need anythin’. Imma try ‘n find you somethin’ to wear.”

You thank him softly, trying not to look too desperate for a hot shower as you cross the room and close the bathroom door behind you.

Letting the shower run, you begin to strip from your clothes, cringing at how grossly and sticky you feel from sweating your ass off all day.

You feel all the tension leaving your body as you step beneath the shower head and the hot droplets of water hit your skin.

You swear this is the best shower you’ve ever taken. Why? Because you peeped Joel’s toiletries in there and decided to use his body wash and shampoo so now you smell like him.

There’s three rhythmic knocks at the door followed by his deep voice.

“Found some clothes. Can I come in ‘n put ‘em by the sink?”

You swallow thickly. Despite there being a shower curtain separating the two of you, you feel nervous about him coming in while you’re naked.

Not because of him but because of you. He’s got you all riled up without even knowing it.

“Or I can leave ‘em out here?”

“It’s fine, Joel, you can come in.”

There’s a hesitant pause before you hear the door opening, then his large shadow passing through and setting the small pile of clothes by the sink.

His eyes fall to the floor where you’ve left your heap of dirty clothes, seeing the feminine printing of your pink underwear peeking from below the khaki material of the shorts you’d been wearing. The matching bra not too far away.

He’s fucked— unbelievably fucked.

Joel hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you since you first met. Your smile unlike anything he’s ever seen before, your eyes a shade that makes him want to get lost in them forever, your voice a tune he wants stuck in his head all the time.

You’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen and that’s quite the statement considering he’s surrounded by breathtaking sights all the time.

He’s crushing hard despite only barely knowing you for a week.

Then there’s that underlying, primal tension that simmers when you get too close. So it doesn’t help that’s he’s getting an eyeful of your discarded garments then is aware that you’re fully naked, smelling like him, on the other side of the shower curtain.

He stands in front of the shower, half tempted to just yank back the material and join you, fully clothed, just to fuck you against the wall.

No, he can’t think like this. Especially after the day you’ve had.

So he pushes those salacious thoughts away before leaving without saying a word.

You held your breath during the entirety of that silent and brief moment there.

You could feel his hesitation, really, and mentally yelled at him to give in to the temptation and have his way with you right here in the shower.

But he doesn’t hear you, obviously, and you begrudgingly finish your shower after he leaves.

You re-enter the main room dressed in an oversized national park tee and a pair of his boxers.

His cock stirs at the sight of you in his clothes and the smell of him on your skin. He has to look away before you catch him staring and label him as a creep.

“S’not much but I made you somethin’ to eat.” He’s at the kitchenette, all the fixings to make a grilled cheese strewn about the tiny area as he holds up a paper plate with your dinner on it.

Your stomach grumbles on cue, as if remembering that you haven’t eaten since lunch.

And just like that shower— the grilled cheese is the best grilled cheese you’ve ever eaten. Not because you were starving; but because Joel had made it for you out of the kindness of his heart.

Your standards are way too low if you think a man making you a grilled cheese sandwich is the most thoughtful thing in the world.

You two finish up quickly and begin getting situated for bed.

He’s being a gentlemen by giving up his bed to you while he takes refuge in his sleeping bag on the opposite side of the room.

You tried to fight him on it (to no avail) and now you’re both wide awake, laying in silence as the night passes by.

You toss and turn on the small bed, all of the sudden not exhausted like you had been on the walk up here. You can hear Joel shuffling around too and you let out a sigh.

“Can’t sleep?” His voice cuts through the darkness and you shake your head before remembering he can’t see you.

“No. I guess I’m still on go mode after everything.”

“Need anythin’ to help you sleep?”

Yeah, you. Just come over here and fuck me one good time—- I’ll sleep like a fucking rock.

You let out a small whine at the fantasy, your brain pulling cruel tricks on you as images of him tying the rope into a knot flash through your mind… they’re suddenly distorted and now he’s tying your wrists to the bedpost with the same adroitness from before.

“Y’okay sugar?”

Too lost in your wet daydream, you hadn’t realized your prolonged silence. Your thighs rub together, your slickness smearing over your folds.

“Just fine.”

Another pregnant pause before you hear him shuffling then his heavy footsteps nearing the bed.

You sit up straight once he’s near, the moonlight pouring in from the large windows cascading over half of his face and he’s got this look in his eyes that make you want to pounce on him.

“Y’sure there ain’t anythin’ I can do to make you feel better?”

His words drip with sensuality, a double entendre that knocks down the last wall of your self control.

“I can think of a thing or two.”

He stands tall over you, your eyes darkened with lust as you look up at him through your lashes.

It’s a ravishing sight, his fingers come down to brush some of your damp hair from your face and his thumb strokes affectionally against your cheek.

“Like what, baby?”

Oh, where do you start? A kiss, right? But you’re eye level with his hardening bulge and taking him down your throat has wetness pooling at your core.

But you really want to kiss him.

“Kiss me, Joel.”

And he does, bending himself over to hungrily smash his lips against yours.

You don’t hold back the whine at the feeling, your lips moving against each others in pure desperation as your tongue swirls around his before licking into his mouth.

You don’t know where this newfound confidence is coming from but you don’t do anything to deter from it.

You continue to make out, hot and heavy, as he crawls into the too small bed with you, pinning your body beneath his as he holds himself up with his strong forearms on either side of you.

Your hands eagerly run all over where you can reach. Squeezing his triceps, tracing down to his chest then digging your nails into his shoulders.

Joel grunts against your lips, breaking away so the two of you can catch your breath. His forehead falls against yours and you smile up at him.

“What you all smiley for?”

“Have you seen yourself? You’re something worth smiling over.”

He chases after your lips again and you’re back to making out like a pair of horny teenagers. Your fingers run along his warm skin beneath the fabric of his t-shirt, feeling how chiseled yet soft he is. You feel some of his chest hair and then you get curious so your hand falls lower until it’s at the band of his sleeping pants.

The hair there is coarser and you salivate at the thought of nuzzling your nose against the patch as you take him fully into your mouth.

Eager to feel his skin pressed up against yours, you tug at the hem of his shirt and he gets the hint, pulling back to discard of it quickly.

You inhale sharply at the sight of his bare torso, much more attractive than the mental image you’d been painting since you met.

“You are so hot.”

He exhales through his nose in a silent laugh before he descend on you again, except this time he doesn’t reconnect your lips.

His hands softly caress your body through his clothes, cupping your breasts and kneading them. This has you canting your head back and arching into his touch, moaning sweetly at how good it feels

“S’all you, gorgeous. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

This has you moaning louder as his fingers pinch your pebbled nipples and you begin rocking your hips against nothing just to relieve some of the pressure that’s built up against your core.

“Joel, please…” You whimper out, wanting him to rip these clothes off you and devour you entirely.

He knows what you want and what kind of man would he be to deny such a pretty little thing of feeling good?

He quickly undresses you and you’re so lost in the moment that you aren’t even plagued with self consciousness.

Every touch, every stroke and caress has you feeling flawless as he begins to kiss at your neck, his pouty lips sucking a small mark beneath your jaw and you hiss his name out of excitement.

His lips continue their assault against your neck before trailing down to your chest and between your breasts.

His large, calloused hand runs up and down your sides before he hooks his fingers under the band of his boxers that you’re currently still in, slowly pulling the fabric down.

“Ya sure about this? We can stop if you want to.”

“If you stop right now I might just kill you.”

He smirks against your chest, letting his curved nose run along the swell of your breast before his tongue darts out to kitten lick at your sensitive nipple.

You shudder and then he’s taking the nub into his mouth, sucking on it before letting his tongue flicker over it repeatedly.

“Oh fuck, baby, that feels so good.”

With your lower half now fully exposed, he massages your thighs and you spread them wider to allow him to rest against you comfortably.

He continues to give your tits attention but now he’s paired it with the sensation of him running his thumb against your obscenely wet slit.

Your hips buck up involuntarily at his touch and he pulls back from your chest to look up at you.

“Be patient, sugar, I promise imma make you feel good.” He husks out, just as turned on as you are, as he turns his head towards your other breast to begin lavishing it in the same attention he’d just given its twin.

His thumb dips between your puffy folds, gathering your arousal before he’s swirling it around your needy clit.

You bite your lip, eyes fluttering close as you allow yourself to get lost in the pleasure of this foreplay. You’ve never been with a man who was this attuned to your body; touching you in all the right places and having you make sounds you’ve never made before.

Your nipple falls from his mouth with a soft and wet pop as his lips trail down your abdomen, kissing the smooth skin along the way.

He reaches your mound, those chocolate brown eyes of his staring up at you as his hands find purchase on the backs of your thighs, spreading you wider for him so his broad frame can fit in between them.

“You’re s’wet, darlin’. Bet you taste fuckin’ sweet too.”

Your fingers reach down to run through his hair, lust blooming in your stare.

“Why don’t you find out?”

He groans, lowering his head until you can feel his warm breath against your throbbing cunt. With your fingers still intertwined in his hair, you tug him closer to you— dying to feel his touch where you need him most.

Usually, Joel would drag this out more. Tease you until you’re a puddled mess and begging for him to take you however he pleased.

But he’s drunk on you. His mind clouded with nothing but the vision of your naked body sprawled before him and your sheer eagerness to use him to get off.

It’s hot and exhilarating— which is why he wastes no time in attaching his mouth to your pussy, groaning as your arousal floods his mouth.

“Oh my god!” Your back arches off the bed, grip on his curls tight as he begins to eat you out like a starved and barbaric man.

His tongue flicks across your clit one, two times before exploring the rest of your cunt. The wet noises coming from his ministrations echo through the room and they only spur you further into your orgasm.

“So fuckin’ sweet, baby. I could die a happy man right in between these beautiful legs.”

Joel kisses and nips at your inner thighs before diving back in. His tongue flattens against your cunt as he takes long, broad swipes before his lips wrap around your sensitive nub and he sucks on it. Harshly.

A scream of pleasure rips from your throat at the action, hips moving against his face as his nose bumps against your clit when his tongue moves down to plunge into your tight hole.

He licks the inside of you, allowing you to rock your hips as your stomach tightens with your climax not too far away.

Sensing this, Joel brings two of his thick fingers up to your core, lubing them up with your wetness before he slides them in. The slight burn from the stretch is enough to have you seeing fucking stars.

“Just like that Joel please don’t stop.”

You don’t care if you sound needy or desperate— the whole reason you’re here in California is to experience something new and to forget about how shitty your romantic life has been in the past.

Joel’s doing an amazing job making you forget, his rough fingers pumping in and out of you as his mouth kisses your pussy.

“C’mon baby. I can feel how fuckin’ close ya are, sugar. Let go.”

His fingers curl inside you, brushing up against that spot that has you cursing out a litany of expletives as you clench around him tightly and cum harder than you ever have in your entire life.

Your fingernails dig into his scalp, grounding you as your orgasm quite literally has your soul leaving your body.

Your release coats his digits, mouth, and jaw as he eats you out through it. Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you attempt to catch your breath, twitching at the oversensitivity between your thighs.

“Did so good, baby. Look so fuckin’ pretty comin’ undone like that.” He mutters against your ear, once again hovering over you before your mouths meet in a passionate kiss.

You can taste yourself on his lips and tongue, and it’s enough to spark another flame of arousal in your lower belly. Your legs wrap around his waist as his painfully hard erection presses up against your freshly fucked cunt.

“I want you to fuck me, Joel, please.” Your nose brushes up against his, giving him your best fuck me eyes in which he has no choice but to comply.

He shimmies out of his sweat pants, his swollen cock bouncing slightly as it’s exposed and your eyes widen as you look down to see just how fucking big he is.

Oh fuck, is it even going to fit?

“You okay, babygirl?”

You nod, eagerly. “Better than okay. I can’t wait to feel you inside of me.”

Your hand comes down to stroke him a few times, loving the way he groans out your name before swatting your hand away.

“Fuck— wait. I don’t have a condom.” He mutters and you quickly pull him down to you before he shifts away from between your legs.

“It’s okay. I’m on the pill and haven’t been with anyone in months.”

You have no problem with him going in raw, you actually prefer it since you want to feel every ridge and vein of his cock as he pounds into you.

However; if he’s been giving it out to the masses then maybe you should reconsider letting him fuck you… but he doesn’t seem like the type to whore out like that and you pray that’s the case.

“Me either. ‘M clean ‘n I don’t get much action out here.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

He laughs, actually laughs in your face and you can’t help but find this moment endearing.

“M’gonna have to instill some patience into ya, sweetheart. You’re a needy little thing.”

There’s a snarky reply on the tip of your tongue but it dies there as he sinks into you, the bulbous head of his cock stretching you out deliciously as your fleshy walls flutter around him.

“Fuck,” You both groan out in unison, relishing in how good it feels to be lost in each other like this.

He hasn’t bottomed out yet and you already feel so full.

“So big, Joel.” You purr out, feeling him twitch inside of you at the praise.

He rocks his hips into yours, finally burying himself fully inside of your cunt and you whimper at the feeling.

He stills, letting you adjust to his ginormous fucking cock, whispering sweet words into your ear as he peppers soft kisses against your neck and shoulder.

“You can move now. Please.” You roll your hips, crying out like a pornstar when the head just barely brushes against your cervix.

“Oh sugar you’re gonna have to keep those noises to yourself if you want to enjoy this for longer than two strokes.”

It makes you giddy knowing you have such an effect on him.

“Can’t help but express how good it feels.”

His hips cant back, cock sliding through your wet walls as he begins to thrust back into you. His movements start slow and patient, but once there’s enough of yours wetness coating the both of you; he readjusts you on the small bed and begins to set a ruthless pace.

“Yesyesyes, oh my god just like that!”

He sits back on his haunches, meaty hands gripping onto your hips for dear life as he fucks you harshly, the rusted springs of the bed crying out at the harsh movements.

“Play with your tits, baby, show me how much you like bein’ fucked like this.”

Not needing to be told twice, your hands come down to do as instructed; twisting and pulling at your nipples which heightens your arousal even more.

They bounce against your hold as he screws you with all the passion in the world. You’re hoping his rough touch against your hips leaves bruises. It’d be a lovely memory of this moment and how it’s not just a dream you’re having.

The sound of skin slapping against skin mingled with your respective sighs and moans of pleasure swirl around in the air, both of your bodies glistening with sweat from your coital activities.

He looks so sexy over you like this, the curls at the base of his neck sticking to his skin with sweat, eyes focused on your folds as your pussy stretches each time he fucks into you, tongue just barely peeking out between his lips in concentration.

You want to feel his lips on you as you cum for the second time tonight, so you reach for him and whine out his name and he happily complies, leaning over and crashing his lips onto yours.

Your tongues intertwine and you nibble on his lower lip as his hands move your legs to rest over his shoulders.

The change of angle is enough to topple you over the edge, and you cum with an aggressive shout of his name followed by your nails raking down the taut skin of his back.

His thrusts don’t relent as he continues to fuck you, and you’re too disoriented and caught up in pure bliss to do anything about it.

“Mmm baby cum inside me. I want you to fill me up and paint my walls with your cum, Joel, pretty please.”

You use that tone again, the porny one that had him almost coming prematurely. You pair it with a tight squeeze of your walls and that does it.

His thrusts stutter and he grunts huskily against your neck as he fills you up with his spend. You play with his hair as he comes down from his own climax, placing kisses against the crown of his head.

You both lay in a comfortable silence, him still buried inside of you while he holds himself up on his forearms.

“That was amazing.” You’re the first one to breach the quiet, “But I’m gonna need you to let my legs down. I don’t want to cramp folded up like a lawn chair like this.”

He chuckles against your sweaty skin, placing a kiss to your jaw before he pulls back and tentatively moves your legs off of his broad shoulders.

Joel pulls his cock out of you and you shudder at the loss, feeling his cum slowly dripping out and down your slit.

“Such a pretty sight.” He mumbles, bringing his fingers down to collect some of your mixed release before pumping it back inside of you.

You whine in protest, “Joel she’s sensitive. She just took one hell of a pounding.”

Though you clench around his fingers, your body contradicts your words.

“S’okay, sugar, I’ll take good care of her.”

And he does, god does he take good care of her and you for the remainder of the night.

#joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal #the last of us fic #joel miller #tlou fic #kat's writing.

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ellastone-olsen · 1 year ago

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Undisclosed desires - Agatha Harkness

DO NOT COPY ANY OF MY WORKS. MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY

Summary: Agatha is your mother's best friend with whom you like to spend time. Everything is great if you don’t remember about your little (big) crush on her. What if one movie night something doesn't go as usual?

Pairing: moms best friend!Agatha Harkness × f!reader

Warnings: NSFW, dom!agatha, sub!reader, age gap (A45 R21), mommy kink, face sitting (A), thigh riding (R), masturbations (R), little stalking i think, pet names, oral (both), a little fluff

DISCLAIMER: ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE SORRY FOR GRAMMAR OR SPELLING MISTAKES

Word count: 2.7k

AN: hi guys this is my first work in English and the first work that I generally post on tumblr. I hope you'll enjoy <3

Agatha met your mother when you were just over 18. It was a typical weekend when the older woman walked into your house, talking sweetly with your mother. Out of curiosity, you went downstairs from your room; honestly, you didn’t often have any guests in your house after your parents’ divorce.

When you appeared in the kitchen, Agatha had her back to you, your mother was the first who notice your presence. "Oh my god Y/N you scared me! You can't walk so quietly!" Agatha immediately turned to your mother’s screams. The first time you looked at her, you forgot how to breathe. She seemed beautiful, even attractive, you of course knew about your “mommy issues” but how quickly your admiration for the woman grew into a little crush... you knew it wasn't right.

But that didn’t stop you from finding her social media “I’m just curious to know more about her” you told yourself, of course that was partly true. It started as a sweet, innocent thoughts about her beautiful curly hair, blue eyes and the sweet smile that she gave you when she came to visit and the three of you were sitting in the kitchen. “Y/N, you’ve already entered your second year of college, how are your studies?” she asked either out of politeness or out of pure curiosity. You were always happy to answer any of her questions, and then sneakily watch her facial expressions and gestures while she told your mother something about her failed Tinder dates. Deep inside you were jealous and hoped that these dates would remain a failure.

Later your relationship became closer one. This happened after about a year of her frequent visits in your house. At first sight it looked like she was your aunty and you were her favorite niece. At least that's what it looked like to your mother. Considering that Agatha did not have children (you also learned this from her social media), she was happy to spend time with someone who wasn't your mother. So your phrases like “Agatha and I are going to the mall today” or “I’ll stay at Agatha’s for the night” were not something surprising. Your mother was glad that you were spending your free time with a person whom she could trust and know that everything would be okay with you, even though you are already 19.

You loved staying at Agatha’s house, looking at her in her home clothes, and in the morning waking up and hearing “I made you a breakfast, superstar” by the way she cooks divine. At each of these weekends, you were talking (sometimes she tried to ask you about your possible boyfriends or girlfriends, which made you blush and go away from the topic), cooking some crisps and towards the end of the night, sitting down to watch movies on her big plush sofa. “Aggie, I’m cold,” you said after which you moved closer to her and hugged her in secret dying from such closeness.

Even later, you caught yourself having terrible frank thoughts about her. They fell on you like a bolt from the blue. So once again going to her Facebook and opening a new photo you began to look at it more carefully than always. It was an ordinary photo where she stood in a black light dress with straps with a V-shaped neckline, holding her hand to her face, covering her smile and the caption “at home you can look the way you want😘.” The focus of attention first moved to her lips, then dropped to a thin hand with a neat black manicure, thoughts concentrated on each of the fingers, about how you could... Even lower to the neckline on her dress which opened up a view of her breasts but left room for imagination, the light fabric did not hide the outline of her nipples and then...

You were already lying on the bed in your room, your mother had long gone to bed. The same photo of Agatha was open on your phone while your fingers traced circles on your clit. Then they moved lower, collecting abundant wetness at the entrance, and when one finger entered you and your gaze was again drawn to the photo on the phone your back arched. You imagined that it was Agatha doing all these things to you; the second finger slipped inside filling you so well and the pace increased. All that was heard in the room was shaky breathing and a quiet whine, “Fuck Aggie...yes that’s it, yes mommy please,” the other hand came down to rub the clit and then it happened. You saw stars looking at the woman's photo, wishing that she would shut you up with a kiss now. When your breathing evened out, you took your phone and typed one message, “Tomorrow is the weekend, can I come over for the night?”

Saturday was your favorite day of the week because Agatha wasn’t at work like on weekdays and you could spend time together. Right now you were walking through the parking lot to her car so that she could take you two to the cafe that you had been telling her about for a long time. "How are you doing, superstar?" The woman asked while watching the road. You loved that cute little nickname she gave you so much. “Well, in general, everything is fine, except for small problems with writing a thesis, you know, it turns out to be not easy I’m very tired” you said and felt her hand gently covering yours and squeezing. Raising your eyes, you were met by her familiar smile, “You can handle everything, you know that you can always ask me for help?” you just nodded, and the older woman continued to watch the road.

The day passed too quickly when in the evening the two of you walked into Agatha’s spacious but cozy apartment. "So I think that after such an eventful day we can immediately move on to watching a movie, how do you look at it, superstar?" You went to wash your hands and called out to her from the bathroom, “As much as you want, I’ll like any of your ideas. For now, I’ll go change clothes and come back to you,” you said, wiping your hands and taking your bag with things.

There are two bedrooms in Agatha's apartment , one for her and one for guests. You were always located in the second one but more than once you were just a guest in the older woman’s bedroom. Speaking as a “guest” we can say that you just came in a couple of times to find out how long it would take her to get ready and briefly examined the interior. All you remembered was the purple tones of the room, a large bed, a chest of drawers with a bunch of jewelry and cosmetics on it, and above that was a regular oval mirror. Apparently there were also a couple of intricate paintings and a bedside lamp. You respected this part of the woman’s personal space and did not poke your overly curious nose into it.

Your bag was thrown on the floor of the room that had already become yours, your street clothes were scattered on the bed, your makeup was washed off and you were already wearing the soft plush pajamas that Agatha had given you last Christmas. “I’m here,” you called out as you returned to the room, where the older woman had already carefully prepared snacks for the movie and selected a two-hour thriller for tonight. “Come here,” Agatha patted the spot on the couch next to her and you landed there, covering yourself with the blanket and resting your head on her shoulder.

The movie went quickly and you didn’t notice how you had already started to fall asleep when a sharp poke in your side woke you up, “Hey don’t sleep, you’ll still have time for this tomorrow,” Agatha said grinning. You jumped up sharply which made her laugh. Here on the TV screen there is a chase, explosions, the main character miraculously escapes when suddenly..."OH MY GOD" you screamed and crawled with your head under the blanket when moans came from the TV speakers and a sex scene appeared on the entire screen in front of your eyes. You weren’t ready to see this right here right now, especially in the company of an older woman, and you behaved like a blushing virgin. Agatha’s laughter came from above, “Come on Y/N, you’d think you’ve never seen anything like this before. Get out of there”. The blanket was thrown off you and a picture of naked people appeared before your eyes again. Your eyes widened as you looked from the TV to Agatha and back. This whole situation has made your cheeks warm up and you can already feel a faint pulsation between your legs.

“Oh, is it really such a small thing that has embarrassed you so much, superstar, you’re already a big girl, why are you blushing so much? Or maybe... oh..” the woman looked at you more carefully, studying how quickly your chest rises and falls, noticing how you begin to squirm in place. The gears in her head are spinning intensely and a thought arises.“Oh sweet girl, let me help you. Come here,” the woman moves you closer to her, squeezing her thigh between your legs, encouraging you to ride her. You're about to explode. “Aggie, what are you doing? What..” you are stopped by her hand covering your cheek, “Oh baby you have now confirmed my suspicions on this matter,” your heart is about to jump out of your chest, “What do you mean, Aggie?” The woman moves you closer and already runs her lips along your neck to your ear and whispers, “About your little crush. Did you think I wouldn’t notice this? Or maybe I’m too dumb and won’t put two and two together mmm?” You pull back to look at her dumbfounded. What's happening now? Does she want you too? Did she know all along? A swarm of thoughts race through your head as her hand grabs your hair and pulls you back towards her. “You’re thinking too loudly honey, let mommy think for you.” The nickname she gave herself completely drives you insane and you groan. “Oh fuck” comes out of your mouth.

The woman laughs and lowers her lips to your pulse point. Her hands grab your hips, encouraging you to grind against her thigh. When you do what she wants Agatha looks up from your neck, “Such a good girl you’ve had a crush on me for a long time, haven’t you? I bet you’ve been thinking about this moment. Tell mommy, am I right Y/N?” Your breathing is unsteady and you feel like your underwear is hopelessly wet, the thoughts in your head are confused. "Mmmh yeah you're right." The answer seems to suit Agatha as her lips immediately find yours in a careless kiss and your whole world explodes. The woman’s hand reaches under the elastic band of your pants and she strokes you through your underwear, feeling how wet you are. With such contact you moan into her mouth and beg, “Oh Fuck Mommy please please I need more.” Agatha shushes you and takes her hand out of your pants "Hush baby, you'll get what you want but first mommy needs to cum. Can you do that for me? Make mommy cum and I'll return the favor."

She pulls you encouraging you to get off of her and begins to undress until she is left in only black underwear. You stop her hands when her fingers cling to the edge of her panties. “I want to help you. Can I?” She nods and you kneel in front of her, taking off an item of clothing and seeing how her sticky wetness stretches. You start biting and sucking on her inner thighs and are almost to the top when she stops you. “No, not like that, lie down on your back.” You do as she says and she ride you, moving higher up to your head, “I want to sit on your pretty face baby, will you let mommy ride your face?” Your pupils dilate as you nod impatiently "Please." Agatha lowers her dripping pussy onto your mouth and you suck and lick her clit, and then push your tongue into her hole, causing the woman to arch and move her hips. “Oh god that's such a good girl. You're going to make mommy cum baby. Mommy's gonna cum all over your face." These words turn you on more and you start working on her pussy harder until the woman lets out her last moan as she cums into your mouth. She continues to sit on you while you lazily lick her clean, and then stands up and grabs your legs, opening them wide.

Pants with panties tossed somewhere to the side, the sweater is also pulled off your body and you lie in front of her completely naked. “Fucking god you’re even more prettier than I imagined”. Agatha mutters and turns you over so you’re sitting on her lap again. Your breasts are right in front of her face and she takes one nipple into her mouth while she roughly squeezes your thighs, feeling your wetness on her leg. You hold her shoulders with your hands and stand up. “Please Aggie, I need to cum so bad.” Agatha releases her nipple from her mouth and growls “Wrong name.” Your forehead presses against her shoulder as you whimper “Please mommy make me cum.”

She spreads the wetness all over your pussy and teases your clit. Two fingers circle at your entrance and she pushes them inside, to which you moan and bite her shoulder. "Fuck, you're so tight, what if I add another one? You're so wet you can take it can't you baby?" You hum into her shoulder in agreement and three fingers slip inside “Ride me” Agatha takes your waist with her free hand, helping you move and you start bouncing on her “Mommy I’m so full. Feel so good” you moan. The room is filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin and the smell of sex. Incomprehensible whimpers and requests not to stop escape your mouth while you try to push yourself deeper onto Agatha’s fingers. Your hand reaches for your clit and draws circles on it. Abundant wetness flows down the older woman’s hand and she feels your walls squeezing around her. "Mommy I'm going to cum. Oh God I'm going to cum Aggie, mommy don't stop please." When Agatha's fingers deliciously hit that right spot inside you over and over again, when you hear "That's such a good girl. Cum for your mommy, cum all over my fingers baby" it happens and you explode, cumming on top of her. Agatha finds your lips and pulls you into a kiss, brushing the sticky hair from your forehead and whispering how well you did for her.

After a minute, you catch your breath and get off of her, lying down next. You are silent. Agatha is silent. You don’t believe what just happened and how this is even possible. The gears in your head start working again and you try to decide what to do next. She wanted you, does this mean that your feelings are mutual or was it just sex for one time? A soft blanket covers your naked body and a hand strokes your shoulder. You hesitantly raise your head to Agatha, she is the first to break the silence.

"You're thinking too loudly again, superstar." Her hand gently strokes your cheek. "I understand your doubts and fears, baby. Let's just go to bed for now, do you agree?" You nod and get out of bed still in the blanket, taking your pajamas with you. Your legs slowly drag you into your bedroom as Agatha’s question hangs in the air. "Where are you going?" She gently hugs you by the shoulders, leads you into her bedroom and lays you on a soft, large bed where you fall into a calm, deep sleep.

#agatha harkness #agatha coven of chaos #agatha harkness x reader #kathryn hahn #agatha: darkhold diaries #agatha all along #agatha smut #agarha harkness smut #agatha harkness x female reader #marvel #marvel mcu #agatha harkness x you #Spotify

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thatswhatsushesaid · 7 months ago

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while high last night i decided to bully the new facebook AI assistant by asking it to calculate how many words the beatles have ever written across their complete discography. the resulting interaction was so unexpectedly interesting to me that i just really want to share it here.

(full disclosure: while not high, i did try to do a little digging to verify whether meta's AI was trained in the same shitty way that the chatGPT AI was, i.e., through broad scraping of information without any regard for copyright or other intellectual property rights, and was modestly reassured that there are more licensing agreements in place between meta and IP sources. i do wonder just how heavily they're leaning on the 'fair use' provision of copyright law to justify some of what they're doing, but tl;dr it looks like they have learned from chatGPT's high profile mistakes and are trying not to replicate them.)

anyway, here's how it went:

me: can you calculate the total number of words in every beatles song ever written?

meta AI: I can't calculate the total number of words in every Beatles song ever written, but I can tell you that there are 186 songs in total by the Beatles ¹. You can use an online lyrics website, such as Genius, MetroLyrics or AZLyrics, to count the words in each song and calculate the total number of words in every Beatles song ever written. [link to Bing search results included]

me: but i'm tired 😞

meta AI: I understand! Counting the words in every Beatles song would be a massive task. It's estimated that the Beatles have written over 250,000 words in their songs. If you're feeling tired, you can always try breaking the task down into smaller chunks, like counting the words in one album at a time. Alternatively, you could try searching online for a pre-existing count or estimate. Some fans or researchers may have already done the work for you! Get some rest, and maybe tackle the task when you're feeling more energized!

me: what if i say please

meta AI: Please is a magic word!

Alright, I'll try to help you with that. However, please note that it's a complex task, and I might not be able to give you an exact count. But I can try to provide an estimate based on available data and sources.

According to various sources, including lyrics websites and Beatles fan communities, the estimated total word count for all Beatles songs is around 250,000 to 300,000 words.

Here's a rough breakdown:

- John Lennon wrote around 80,000 to 100,000 words

- Paul McCartney wrote around 80,000 to 100,000 words

- George Harrison wrote around 30,000 to 40,000 words

- Ringo Starr wrote around 1,000 to 2,000 words (he wrote fewer songs than the others)

Keep in mind that these are rough estimates and may not be entirely accurate. But I hope this gives you an idea of the total word count for all Beatles songs!

me: wow! thank you so much! [can't believe i thanked the AI here, but whatever, weed had the wheel ok]

meta AI: You're welcome! It was my pleasure to help. I hope you found the estimate helpful. The Beatles have an incredible legacy, and their music has brought joy to so many people around the world. If you have any more questions or need help with anything else, feel free to ask! And remember, "All you need is love..."

anyway, congratulations to me personally for politely bullying an AI to do more work than it initially claimed it was capable of doing. sometimes saying please will actually make the computer do the thing 👍

#ray.txt #meta ai #oops c/p'd one of the quotes twice #fixed it #anyway this is peak weed girl with adhd behaviour and i am fine with it

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aworldinsideaperson · 1 year ago

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Candy Cane Kisses

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Plus Size!AFAB!Reader

Summary: Candy Cane Kisses takes us to a Texas ranch on Christmas night, Jake “Hangman” Seresin is watching his sister’s best friend from across the room as he nurses the bottle of beer in his hand. His Bambi is somehow more beautiful than she’d been when they met three years prior, the last time they’d seen each other until only two nights before and he wonders if she can still taste him like that candy cane between her lips.

Warnings: 18+, No use of Y/N (Reader is nicknamed Bambi), No happy ending (for now). There is talk of food, relatively explicit talk of sex as well as some pretty graphic foreplay/kissing with the reader being described with vaginal anatomy but the actual smut happens behind closed doors.

Word Count: 4.8k

A/N:

First: This is part of @sailor-aviator’s Christmas Writing Challenge but it is also a companion piece to a longer story/series I’m working on so while there is no happy ending in this piece the overall story, once completed, will have a happy ending. But once again, THIS PIECE DOES NOT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING so read at your own risk.

Second: The smut was supposed to be in the story but I felt like it didn’t need it but if people want to read it separately I might consider finishing it and posting it.

Third and probably most important: Anything you’d like me to tag as warning or in a description or anything please let me know. I haven’t really posted anything longer than a couple hundred words since like 2016 so it’s been a while and I know fandom and fanfiction has changed quite a bit since I’ve been an active member of it so please bear with me while I get my bearings.

Sailor-Aviator’s Christmas Writing Challenge

December 23rd, 2013

Sometimes he replayed that kiss in his head. Sometimes he berated himself for not giving more. Sometimes he imagines pressing his lips to parts of her that he’d never seen. He knew She was older now, they both were, he’d seen the pictures on instagram and facebook, the occasional snapchat with drunk hazy eyes and the same smile she’d had the very first time he’d met her. It’d been more than three years since they’d seen each other in person but even from across a crowded bar with Christmas music blasting and chatter at an all time high, Jake could still hear her laugh and when his eyes shot in the direction of what had once been his favorite sound he knew then and there he was a goner. Even as he makes his way across the room to stand beside her at the bar he knows it’s a mistake but he’s thought about her for three years, and how much hurt could a conversation really do.

“Bambi.” A simple word, a nickname given to her that very first day as she watched the movie for the very first time with tears in her eyes. At the sound her eyes drifted closed, tension leaving her shoulders as she let out a breath before looking over to him with a smile.

A conversation. That’s what he’d told himself. What harm could it do to just say hello, just ask how she was doing, just talk like the old friends they were. It wasn’t until an hour later when he stood inside her bedroom with his hand in her hair and his cock down her throat that he realized maybe his first instinct had been right. Maybe he shouldn’t have followed the sound of her voice, maybe he should have left the bar the second he heard a laugh that made his heart skip, maybe he shouldn’t have come back home at all.

December 24th, 2013

Jake sat on the arm of the couch, his cousin Isaac standing over him gesturing wildly with his unoccupied hand as he recounted a story Jake assumed would be interesting if he could pay attention to anything other than the sound of that laugh from across the room. The cold bottle swung between his fingers nearly empty. If he finished it he’d have to get another, if he went to get another he’d have to walk past her, if he walked past her he was sure she’d smell of that sweet gingerbread lotion she’d slathered on her hands, the same as the night before. He’d have to come face to face with her and that candy cane between her soft lips. He tried not to think about those lips, tried to listen to Isaac talk about the latest ponzi scheme he’d gotten himself involved with, tried not to remember the way her lips felt wrapped around his-

“Dude I’m serious this would be a great investment opportunity! And I know you’ve got some capital, what with that military salary and all.”

Isaac’s eyes were wide with excitement but Jake’s face was contorted in pity as he sighed. “I don’t know Isaac.”

With that his face fell. “Why not man?”

Opening his mouth to give the older man an answer he really didn’t have, except to say that some guy name Brad has Isaac by the balls, Jake was saved by the voice of his mother as she quickly approached the pair.

“Jacob,” She started, laying a hand on his shoulder and looking softly at him, usually a sign she was about to ask for physical labor. “Do you think you could help Bambi bring the rest of the cookies from the basement? We’re running low up here and you know if someone doesn’t go down with her she’s gonna try to carry them all up by herself.”

He sighed but he didn’t argue. “Sure thing Mama,” He stood and clapped his cousin on the shoulder as he walked away. “I’ll catch up with you later Isaac.”

“Okay but seriously think about what I was tellin’ ya.”

With his back turned Jake nodded as he rolled his eyes. “Absolutely.” He knew would absolutely not be thinking about it as he took a few long strides towards the basement door and made his way down the steps.

The Seresin’s basement had never been a place to fear. Finished long before even their first child arrived Jake had always known it as a playroom, a game room, a movie room, whatever his family had needed it to be. He could hear his nieces and nephews to the right of the stairs, no doubt playing with the collection of toys new and old that lived in the too big toy chest in the corner of what could have been a third living room. To his left he could hear the rustling of plastic and clanging of aluminum in what was originally intended to be a second full bar for his dad but his mother had taken over as christmas cookie and bulk grocery storage. Once fully down the steps he could see her then, his back to him as she tried to stack two trays of his mother’s treats on top of one another and he smirked, that was just like her. “I know you’re not trying to carry all those containers up by yourself.” He made his way toward the woman maneuvering the stack to goodies to get the best angle, gently laying his hand on her lower back.

Relaxing at his touch Bambi looked up at Jake with a smile of her own. “I’m an independent woman who only takes one trip, especially with stairs involved.”

“Well as independent as I know you are imagine the hell mama would give me if she knew I let you carry them all up yourself. So will you spare me the wrath?”

Bambi rolled her eyes, replying with a sarcastic chuckle. “Well I suppose I could take pity on you given how well you ate pussy last night.”

The man’s shoulders dropped, “About last night,” He started, the room becoming thick with silence. “It was-“ He couldn’t finish, taking his hand off of Bambi and placing both of them on the counter as he turned from her slightly. He didn’t even know what he should say, didn’t know what the truth was, didn’t know if he should tell the truth even if he knew it.

Bambi nodded and sighed, back straightening as she toyed with the edge of the wrapped cookie trays. “A one time thing, yeah, nothing, I get it and I don’t plan on telling anyone. Not even Mary. She’ll lose her mind if she found out we almost fucked.”

‘Fucked’ the word didn’t feel right. She’d never felt anything like what she felt the night before, memories of his hands and lips trailing over every inch of her body, every square of skin an erogenous zone with his touch. Fucked was something that happened after heated arguments and on couches in frat houses and in the back of cars. She wondered if last night, even though he’d never been inside her, she wondered if that’s what sex was supposed to be like, still making her feel a need for him almost 24 hours after the fact.

“Good. I mean. I just didn’t want to give you the impression that it was more than it was.” He felt sick at his own words. ‘More than what it was’ what was it exactly? Two people who once knew each other, who’d once been friends, giving each other pleasure? No feelings? As if he didn’t still think about her once a day from sharing one single kiss three years prior.

The silence feels heavy around them but continuing to plaster a smile on her face Bambi looks up at her best friend’s brother. “I get it.” She starts. “I’m not a teenager with a crush anymore. You may have been the first person I loved but there have been others since. Other kisses, other blow jobs, other sex partners. There will be others after you too.”

Every muscle in his body was tight as he nodded. “Okay then. It’s all sorted then.” Jake’s stomach churned as he tried not to think of her underneath, on top of, in front of, with other men. He wasn’t neive, he knew last night that the blow job she’d given him had been too good to be the first time she’d done it, someone had instructed her in the past. She knew where she wanted to be kissed and touched and she hadn’t been afraid to move his hands or his mouth or ask for more or less. He knew those things came from experiences. He just hated hearing her say it. Or maybe he hated the thought of after, that there was now an after him. That someone else would touch her and be touched by her and she’d instruct them on how to make her feel the way he had. Make her feel the way he had when he knew no one would ever make him feel the same way she did.

“Yeah, now let’s get these treats up there before people start nibbling on your mom’s gingerbread houses.” With a smile on her face Bambi grabbed the top tray and quickly turned her back to Jake and made her way back upstairs.

She was trapped. Completely and totally trapped. There was no possible way out of the conversation with the man in front of her. She’d tried everything, giving uncomfortable responses, not responding at all, she’d even tried walking away and he’d just followed her. Bambi had met Billy Seresin a few times. He was always too loud and too touchy, he smelled like he smoked 3 packs a day and he never ever shut up. All she had done was give him a polite smile as she was walking past him and into the sitting room, intent on cornering Mary-Ann to pester her about the man who’d shown up to the party as her boyfriend and left 30 minutes prior seemingly losing the title. That had been her plan but of course things hardly seemed to work out the way she expected these last few days especially and nearly 45 minutes later Bambi was sure that if Billy Seresin laid so much as a finger on her again she was going to vomit. But as he raised his hand another slide along her lower back and pulled her closer to him.

“Hey Bill, I’m gonna steal the pretty girl away, hope you don’t mind.” And without waiting for a response Jake led Bambi to the front door, his hand still resting gently on her back.

As they passed the threshold out to the porch her shoulders relaxed as she took in the borderline cold night air. “You are a real hero Jake, if the navy thing doesn’t work out I could whip you up a cape and some spandex, you could go around saving the world from conversations with creeps.” Bambi chuckled as the two settled beside each other on the porch swing, Jake pulling a large blanket from the basket beside them and wrapping it around Bambi’s shoulders.

“Well I’m contractually obligated to the Navy for another few years but afterwards we’ll team up.” His hand rubbed up and down her blanket covered arm a few times before leaning into the back of the swing, his body turned completely towards the woman beside him. “Besides, how was I supposed to let him keep eye fucking you right in front of me.”

“He was not eye fucking me.” Bambi voiced with a roll of her eyes.

“He was,” Jake argued. “I can tell since I’ve done it.”

Turning lifting one knee onto the seat of the swing she turned to completely face Jake. “He’s married to Sarah who’s a fucking dream, no way he’s trying to fuck that up.”

Propping his elbow on the back to their seat, Jake smirked, resting his head on his hand. “You’re way hotter than Sarah.”

“Oh now that’s just a flat lie.” She replied, throwing her head back in laughter.

Lifting his head, Jake let his fingers reach out to slide over a piece of her hair. “I disagree. You’re the hottest woman in any room.” He smirked, giving Bambi an exaggerated wink.

Lulling her head to the side she said his name with a mildly warning tone.

He sighed, throwing his hands up in defense. “Fine I’ll stop saying it. But you can’t make me stop thinking it.” A full genuine smile spread across his face, all the way up to his eyes.

“Sometimes I think you’re too much of a flirt for your own good.” She gave him a gentle shove and her exaggeratedly leaned backwards before sitting up with a laugh.

As the sound of laughter faded Jake admired the woman before him, he’d always thought she was beautiful but the glow of the twinkle lights surrounding the porch made her look ethereal. Even three years later, he’s never gotten over the way he feels around her. For several moments the silence surrounded them, nothing but the light creak of the swing chains and nature. The peacefulness he didn’t expect to be surrounded by was somehow terrifying to him So he filled it. “How’ve you been?”

“Good.” She started, looking at her hands in her lap as she began to pick at the polish. “Mom has been seeing this guy Randy and he’s really nice to her. They’re talking about getting married and moving in together. And Mary bought this new camera and we’re setting up a studio space in the third bedroom of the loft. She’s not sure if she’s going to go back to college with me next fall but I still have plenty of time to convince her.” A soft smile turned up the corners of her lips her eyes still trained toward the fiddling fingers in her lap.

Jake reached out, rubbing his hand slowly over the blanket covering her shoulder. “That’s all great Bam but I asked about you.”

She sighed and then nodded. “Oh, well yeah, yeah. I’m good. I’m good.”

‘You sound unsure.” He pushed.

She reached out her hand to place it on his knee. “No, I'm good. Really.” She assured. “Just not totally used to thinking about it I guess.”

Reaching down to take her hand between both of his, stroking his thumb along her skin. “When’s the last time someone ask how you’ve been doing?”

“About 30 seconds ago.”

Jake looked at her with a warning glare. “Before that, smartass.”

Bambi rolled her head and smiled, her thumb sliding back and forth over Jake’s own calloused knuckles.“You’re the one in the Navy, doing big important things, shouldn’t I be the one asking you how you’re doing?”

Squeezing her hand tightly he gave Bambi a serious look. “You can ask but how you’re doing is no less important than how I’m doing. I’m of the opinion that it’s more important. How can I be okay if I know you’re not?” His question was met with silence and so with a sigh he continued. “I’ve been really good. Made some friends, made some non friends, and I love flying. Have pretty much everything I could ever want. Now you.”

Bambi smiled, giving Jake’s hands a squeeze of her own as she kept her eyes trained on their connected fingers. “I’m good, really. I’m getting my degrees in social work and criminal justice. Victim advocacy is the goal, helping people in similar situations to what Mom and I went through. Things are stressful and I’m scared I’m gonna fail like all the time but I want to help people so badly.” Finally she looked up, tears began to surface in her waterline as she willed them not to fall. “Somewhere out there is a child or a spouse who is going through some of the worst pain of their life and I think about how it felt to be helpless like that and I know I can’t give up.”

Again, Jake reached out to her, one hand still holding tightly to hers, the other gently brushing a fallen drop from her cheek. “You amaze me Bamb, stronger than me that’s for sure.” A comfortable feeling fell over them as he continued the questioning.“You still in therapy?”

With a smile she nodded, her hand still gripped tightly in Jakes. “Yeah but I’ve been in a pretty good place for a while now so we’ve cut back to once or twice a month with the option for more when I need it. It really helped me to work through a lot of the guilt and anger and sadness. And I can think about it now without wanting to throw up. I still have nightmares but nothing like it used to be.”

Jake grinned at that. “That’s really great. I’m proud of you for sticking with it, I know you were really nervous to be starting it in the first place.”

“Thank you for encouraging me back then, I don’t know if I could have done it without that extra push.” 3 years ago she’d been a girl often afraid of her own shadow. She’d thought she needed to be saved back then but Jake hadn’t been the one to do it. Instead he’d loved her and broken her heart and pushed her to help herself.

“Of course Bamb I’ve always cared about you, always wanted what’s best for my Bambi.” His hand cupped her cheek, eyes unable to break from hers.

“Jake-“

“I know, I know what we said I just,” He sighed, thumbs gliding softly over the skin of her hand and of her cheek. “I just really miss you.”

“Miss me?”

“Yeah,” Again, silence surrounded them, Jakes eyes dropping to her lips as he continued. “Bambi, about earlier I didn’t-“

“There you are!” Mary-Ann’s interruption pulled the two apart, hands now cold and cheeks warm. “Jake, I told you to interrupt my conversation with Isaac after 3 minutes. I was stuck there forever listening to him talk about whatever bullshit he’s on now. I swear that guy doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground.” Mary plopped down in the rocker closest to the swing.

Jake now sat with his feet planted firmly on the porch. “Says the girl about the drop out of college.” He teased.

Mary gasped, turing to her best friend who still had yet to stop reeling. “You told him!?” She exclaimed.

Bambi replied with a soft shrug. “I didn’t know it was a secret.”

With the most sincere puppy dog look she could manage Mary-Ann turned to her brother. “Please don’t tell daddy, he’d be so disappointed in me.”

Jake dropped his shoulders and stood up, placing a hand on his sister’s shoulder.“Oh don’t worry Mary-Ann, he’s already disappointed in you.”

From then on the conversation was nothing but a fit of giggles and insults between the siblings, Bambi still swinging back and forth in a fog as she wondered what he’d been about to say.

The night had slowed, most of his extended family had been long gone before it reached ten and parents retiring upstairs not long after. The house was quiet, the only light coming from the twinkling bulbs strung from corner to corner in every room in the house. Jake sat at the dining room table, his chair cocked slightly in the direction of his companion. He’d had more to drink since earlier in the night, giving his mind a soft haze. At least he thought it was the alcohol, could just as easily be the woman sitting beside him in her red dress, glowing in the soft light. He’d convinced her to have one last drink with him before she walked to Mary-Ann’s apartment over the garage. It’d been nearly an hour ago and the clock was ticking closer to midnight as the two each prolonged the last sip of their drinks.

Bambi reached over, gently patting his hand. “It’s good to have you home Jake. I worry about you a lot.”

Turning his head to look at the table Jake nodded. “I worry about you a lot too.”

“Me?” She chuckled and just like the night before he forgets how to breathe. “I’m not the one spending my days in a flying metal death trap.”

“I still worry about you. We should keep in touch more.” He traces his finger around the opening of his bottle, trying not to make eye contact as she continues to barely laugh at a memory.

“What, my occasional snapchat not enough for you?” She asks.

“Not when I want to hear from you every day.” It then when he finally looks back at her, if he didn’t know her so well he’d think maybe that smile was real and not the fake one she plastered on to keep others at a distance.

“Every day?”

He sighs and nods his head as he once again looks away from the woman beside him. “Yeah. I think about you every day.” He thinks he must be drunk, there is no other way he’d admit something so agonizing, not to himself and certainly not to her.

The silence is palpable as she throws back the last sip of her drink as she stood. “Well I should probably head out.” Her voice is quiet, if he hadn’t been standing beside her so closely he might not have heard it.

“Bambi,” Jake lifted his hand to her cheek, gently stroking her with his thumb as her eyes closed. “I wanna kiss you so bad.”

Opening her eyes she watches him through her lashes as she turns and presses her lips to his palm. “How’s that?”

“Not really what I had in mind.”

She smirked, “Disappointed?” She asked, thinking back to the very first kiss they’d shared so long ago, her first.

“Just thinking maybe you don’t know how to kiss, someone should really teach you.” He lifted his other hand, steadying her face to look up at him.

“I seem to recall my first teacher being awfully strict about what kisses he could and could not give me.”

His right hand lifted to brush the stray hairs for her face and he nodded. “Let me make that up to you?”

“I thought that’s what last night was supposed to be.”

One side of his mouth twisted up into a smirk, his hand now moving to caress the side of her neck. “I don’t remember finishing the job.”

“You made me cum, your job is done.” The memory of his lips and tongue making her knees weak.

“But it was only once.” He argued.

She was staring at his lips now, heart pounding with anticipation. “Once is more than most.” It was a true statement. She knew too many people lying about orgasms for it not to be.

His thumb stroked between her jaw and ear, eyes watching her as her eyes moved from his lips to his own chartreuse orbs. “I’m not most.”

Voice hardly above a whisper “Jake?”

“Yes?”

“Just fucking kiss me.”

Four words. Four fucking words and Jake’s mind had gone blank of all thought. All except one. ‘Bambi’. Slowly he dipped his head, gently pressing his lips to her, the familiar taste of candy cane still on her lips from his mother’s christmas cocoa cocktail. He almost pulled away; almost did the exact thing he’d done three years prior, sparing both of them the heartbreak but as she sighed and he felt her melt into his touch he needed just a little more.

Their lips moved together, slotting her bottom lips between his and gently sliding the tip of his tongue across it. Her hands reached up to tangle in his hair, the velvet locks sliding through her fingers as he began to pepper kisses first at the corner of her mouth before moving down over her jaw and down her neck causing her to moan at the feeling of his lips against her bare skin.

He smiled as he continued to kiss and lick and gently nip at her neck. Bending slightly at the knee he wrapped his arms about Bambi and lifted her to rest on the dining room table where only hours earlier his family had been gathered. She gasped and her high heels dropped to the floor and her arms now draped over his shoulders. Jake’s smile grew as he dropped his lips to hers once again, slotting himself between her thighs and pulling her to the edge allowing her to feel his length pressed between their bodies. “Do you feel that baby? Do you wanna feel it inside you?” Arrogance heavy in his voice, his lips barely brushing over hers.

Bamni’s face contorted and she whined. “Yes. Jake please please please.”

“No need to beg Bambi, whatever you want, it’s yours.” He spoke with a slight chuckle in his voice though the sound of her begging made him twitch. Again his lips trailed over the skin of her neck then to her shoulder, his hands sliding up her thighs under the red dress he’d spent the night imagining on the floor. His fingers traced over the nylon, attempting to feel every bump and curve and dimple of the flesh underneath.

”I want you to touch me.” Her tone is still begging with his lips trailing over her collar bone. Smirking Jake pulled his mouth from her skin and licked his lips, moving the fingers of his right hand to her core, touching her gently through the layers.

“Oh fuck.” He groaned, feeling her slick against the tips of his fingers. “You are so wet I can feel you through your panties and stockings.” Again he pressed his lips to hers, swallowing the moans the escaped from her lips at even his light and obstructed touch. “Stay the night with me?” He asked, lips still brushing against hers.

With an eggar nod and jagged breath she responded with a simple yes that had Jake’s heart pounding as he pulled her from the table and kissed her deeply before quietly leading her up the stairs and down the hall. He pressed her against the door of his bedroom, his thigh between her legs and her lips against his throat. “Come on baby,” He whispered. “Let me make you feel good.” And with that he pushed his door open and the two stumbled into his childhood bedroom and with a click, locked the door behind them.

It was nearly 5:30 in the morning as the lovers laid in each other's arms, fingers trace patterns over the other’s skin. Jake’s mom would be getting up soon to start Christmas breakfast. His mind reeled with thoughts, a carousel of anxiety, of leaving Bambi, of breaking her heart, breaking his own. Thoughts of his mother’s smirk if his sister’s best friend bound down the stairs with his hand in hers still smelling of sex. His mind filled with thoughts of run, and run, and run. So he ran.

Pulling his arm from around Bambi Jake moved to sit on the edge of the bed, his back to her. “You should probably get going before everyone gets up.”

She sighed before throwing the covers off and throwing her own legs over the side of the bed. “Yeah, I’d hate to have Mama Seresin see me do the walk of shame. She’d probably start planning the wedding before I made it to the end of the driveway.” She laughed as she gathered her dress and undergarments from the night before, slipping them on with little effort. She felt lighter, tension gone from her shoulders and a permanent smile plastered to her face.

“Bambi, last night, it-“ Jake started but Bambi cut him off, leaning in close for a kiss.

“Was great? I sure thought so.” She said, attempting to finish the sentence in a way he hadn’t meant to.

Jake pulled away, his eyes trained directly to his feet as he spoke. “It shouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry.”

Silence again filled the space between them, the inches beginning to feel like a cavern as she pulled further away from him. She didn’t recognize her movements as she walked to his door, her fingers wrapping around the cool metel of the handle. With a deep breath she let the truth fall into the chasm between them. “I lied last night, when I told you it didn’t mean anything? It meant everything.”

She stood there, hand on the knob hoping her words had changed something but Jake didn’t even move “I’m sorry Bambi. I wish-“ He sighed and his head dropped into his hands. “You deserve more than this, more than a single night.”

Bambi nodded and turned the handle. “Merry Christmas Jake.”

Her words were quick though even with the speed he could hear the crack in her voice. His door was shut tight before he responded. “Merry Christmas Bambi.” And only when he heard the front door shut and the turning over of her car did he reveal his own truth.

“I love you.”

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winchesterwild78 · 11 months ago

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Chance Meeting

This is my first ever fan fiction. I adore Jensen Ackles and have no hate towards his family. In this he’s single. I’m not sure exactly how to do this so any suggestions or feedback is appreciated. Please be kind and all mistakes are my own.

Please don’t take my work. 18+ Only!

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut (later on), Jensen being a sweetheart

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You guess in order to tell your story you have to start when you and Jensen first met. It was a chilly day in October. You were so excited about your first ever Supernatural Convention. You had been a fan of the show since it started and watched every single episode, several times over. Like everyone else, you have your favorites and of course like everyone your least favorite being the very last episode.

Anyway, you’re rambling. You tend to do that when you think back on moments where your world turned upside down. Like you said before, this was your first convention. You’ve seen videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook and TikTok, but nothing could have prepared you for being there in person.

You spent the money for the gold admission, because hey go big or go home, right? You had every outfit picked out for each photo op and panel you knew you were going to attend. You had paid for single photo ops of Misha, Jared, and of course the green eyed angel himself, Jensen. You’ve always been a ��Dean” girl, and a fan of Jensen. Between his shows, movies and his music. Damn is he a talented man. You also had a photo op for Jared, Jensen and Misha. *swoon* The photo ops were all scheduled for Saturday as were most of the panels. You didn’t know exactly what to expect for Friday, but the air was electrified with anticipation, excitement and curiosity. You opted to stay at the hotel that was hosting the convention because you seriously didn’t want to have to Uber back and forth. Plus you wanted to come and go when you got tired or needed a break you’d head to your room then back down again.

You finally arrived at the check in desk and got my room key. The front desk clerk was super nice but gave you a weird smile and wink when she told you your room and floor. “You’re on the 7th floor, room 714” *grin and wink* Um, thanks you said as you grabbed the key and your stuff. As you waited for the elevator you heard some fans talking about the actors who were already there. One of them asked about Jared, Jensen and Misha. The first girl who was obviously a Dean girl by the look of her outfit said they don’t get there until late tonight so they shouldn’t expect to see them at all today. You laughed at the disappointment on their faces and put in your earbuds and turned on Radio Company to just relax. Something about Jensen’s voice just made you relaxed. Of course one of your favorite songs started right up and you couldn’t help but sing along. “Ain’t No Tellin” was playing as the elevator opened up.

*Ding* went the elevator and you stepped in. You couldn’t believe you were alone in the elevator. Or so you thought. You must have missed the man standing in the corner. In your defense he had on a dark pullover and a baseball cap. You continued singing this time louder because again, you thought you were alone. Then there was a tap on your shoulder and you screamed. The man standing in the corner threw his hands up apologizing for scaring you. It was then you realized you knew that voice. Oh my god! It was Jensen Ackles!! You pulled your earbuds out and told him you were sorry you screamed and you didn’t see him there. He smirked that half cocked smirk and said I figured since you started singing louder once you got in. Your face instantly turned three shades of red. He extended his hand and said “Hi, I’m Jensen, and you are?” You take his strong calloused hand in yours trying not to melt and trying to remember your name. Oh my god, my name, what’s my name?!?!? His beautiful green eyes staring straight into your soul. You felt his thumb rub circles on your hand and you suddenly remembered how to speak. You smile brightly with your y/c eyes and finally say My name is y/n, nice to meet you. Your hands held on just a few seconds longer before you both pulled away. Well nice to meet you y/n I hope you have a great time this weekend and I get to see you again soon. Yeah, thanks you too is all you could say with a smile.

The elevator stopped on floor 7 and you stepped out looking at the signs on the wall for which direction your room was in. You were talking to yourself when you heard that honey whiskey voice in your ear “Find your room yet?” His warm breath was on your ear and neck and it sent shivers down your spine. You spin around and you realize just how close you two really are. Damn his eyes are beautiful you think to yourself and those plump lips. Mmm I could get drunk off of those you thought. You manage to whisper out “yeah, I’m in 714, it’s this way.” Jensen smiles and nods as you walk away.

You make it to your room and go around checking everything before you start to unpack. You’re halfway through unpacking when there is a knock at your door. You sigh walk over and look out the peephole and see Jensen standing there with a grin on his face. You start to panic thinking you did something wrong. With a deep breath you open the door and smile. “Jensen, what are you doing here?” He looked at you smiled and asked if he could come in for a minute. You step aside and let him in before closing the door and locking it. This was a habit you picked up long ago being single and living alone. He came in and took a seat at the foot of the bed. You stood near the door trying to figure out what was going on. The silence seemed to go on for hours, but it was really seconds. Jensen told you he really enjoyed hearing you sing and he wanted to know if you would join everyone tonight for the Karaoke party and maybe sing something with him. I’m sorry what? Was all you could say. He chuckled and said it again. I don’t really like singing in front of people, if I knew anyone was on the elevator I wouldn’t have sang. You said and shyly smile at him. He stood up and took your hands in his. Y/N, please consider coming. I really would love to sing just one song with you. You look up into his emerald green eyes and look away. You take your hands out of his and sit in the chair at the desk.

“Why” you ask him in a very low voice. Why would you want me to sing with you. I’m nobody. Hell I don’t even look like the right type of woman to be standing next to you. I’m not a model, I have extra weight every where, stretch marks and I love chocolate. I don’t think it’s a good idea. Jensen sighed and bent down in front of you taking your hands again. Y/N please look at me. He spoke softly this time. You could smell his woodsy cologne and the mint gum he was chewing and it drove you wild. God he smelt like heaven and every time he touched you it was like electricity shooting through you. You kept your head down to hide the tears that pricked your eyes. You’ve never been beautiful in the eyes of the world and you’ve always carried extra weight. You’ve had your fill of insults and people judging you for your looks and you really didn’t want to stand up in front of a room full of strangers next to one of the most gorgeous men on the planet and judged. When you didn’t lift your head, Jensen slowly took his hand and placed it under your chin to lift up your face. He saw the pain in your eyes and you saw the regret and sadness in his. Hey sweetheart, don’t cry. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to push or upset you. If you don’t want to I’m okay with it. I don’t want you to feel pressured. I just wanted the world to hear that beautiful voice I heard. A single tear left your eye and you felt his thumb wipe it away. You looked in his eyes and you have no idea what or why, but you both started to move towards each other. Your lips were inches from his and he smiled. Jensen whispered “can I kiss you” and you nodded. He placed a sweet kiss on your lips then pulled away. You looked at him and smiled. As he walked towards the door Jensen turned around and said I hope to see you later y/n, even if you come just to enjoy the show. Then he turned around and left you standing in your room. Your head was spinning and you could feel the ghost of the kiss still on your lips.

You stood there for a few minutes trying to gather your thoughts. Did Jensen Ackles really just kiss me, and why? You had a decision to make, go to Karaoke or not. So many things running through your head. The loudest thing was how desperately you wanted to see and kiss Jensen again.

Next part coming soon

#jensen ackles x plus size reader #jensen ackles smut #supernatural convention #fluff #chance meeting

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dozing-marshmallow · 1 year ago

Text

BAKING WITH TOTAL DRAMA CHARACTERS SCENARIOS

(Photos aren’t mine by the way!)

BAKING WITH LINDSAY

(AS A BIRTHDAY SURPRISE)

You were surprised when she told you she didn’t have a mani-pedi appointment today. As if the day couldn’t be more convenient.

In Lindsay’s world, there was no such thing as baking unless it was done for her. And she was no expert in cooking either, which is why she was hesitant to bake.

“I don’t get it... Why am I putting four eggs in when five is my lucky number?”

Yep. As long as she was in the kitchen you could not let your guard down.

“What are you saying? What’s with all this flour? And this butter? Is that supposed to help me remember it?”

Alright, you both definitely didn’t have the same image in mind,“Remember what, Lindsay? We’re baking.”

“Ohh bake!” See? “I thought you meant pake, you know like password authenticated blah blah... Oh I’m soooo happy that wasn’t the case, you really aren’t complicated in that way, (Y/M)!”

She still messes your name up sometimes. But on the bright side, her motivation and inner child was found.

She loved pouring the sprinkles into the batter and tried her best to not break any when mixing.

You strictly put yourself in charge of dividing the batter evenly between each tin and swapping them around fifteen minutes within oven baking.

In the meantime, Lindsay managed to get started on the icing- not without constant confirmation that she was doing it right. Seems like she learnt a lot already.

All was looking well, until you noticed something out of place in the bowl. Feeling icky, you carefully extract it,”Lindsay... Is this your hair?”

“Oops...”

You fixed her hair into various styles until the timer went off.

She was gasping in amazement to how solid and fragrant they came out, asking if she could just eat them like that, and you don’t blame her.

Fast forward to icing the layer in between the combined cake and it as a whole, you were about done preparing the piping bag from a separate bowl of icing when she suddenly pleaded to do it.

Anxious, you handed it over to her. Your worry about any mistake she could make was short lived when remembering that even if it did come out slobbery, you know that her intentions were pure and it’s not like anyone else was going to eat the cake anyway. Until watching her actually pipe made you realise she was no amateur:

She was way better at it than you expected.

Seriously, her flowering and swirls were so high in symmetry, it was practically perfect!

“Duhhh! I do makeup! Hair and makeup! I’m like basically holding a curler, ooo I wonder if I could use this bag to style my hair instead? This has to be Victoria’s Secret to smelling so good!”

Logic never went well with Lindsay’s talents. And that was fine with you.

“Taa-da!” She cheers out,”Ohh it’s so pretty... I almost don’t wanna eat it!”

You congratulated Lindsay for her fruitful efforts and asked if she knew why you wanted to bake a cake with her specifically on that day.

“Because you like like me?” Her response after her time of self complimenting over the finish product was done.

“Yes, and also...” This is it.

You grabbed your 1 candle and 7 candle, placing them next to each other on top of the cake.

She watched as you lit them up in seconds, and without warning, the occasion hit her.

“Ohh right! Now I know why my Facebook’s blowing up like crazy today! It’s today!” As though the piped cursive writing of her name on top of the cake didn’t tell her too, but when she started clapping her hands together with that big smile on her shiny lips, it made up for it,”Yaaay! Seventy one today! Can’t believe how long it’s been since I first picked up a magazine. And was born, can’t forget about that, duh. Uh oh. Does that mean I’ll get frail and wrinkles now? Aww I don’t wanna give up tanning! Not yet!”

“You don’t need to worry about that for now, Lindsay, because it actually says seventeen. You’re seventeen today, and for another three hundred and sixty five days. Happy birthday, baby.” ⟡

BAKING WITH GWEN

(HELPING HER OUT)

“A pie, huh? Which flavour you thinking, apple, blueber-“

“Blackcurrant. We’ll be making a blackcurrant pie... that okay with you?”

When Gwen told you that her clique were hosting a get together party, you were almost as enthusiastic as she was.

But...

Because this was Gwen’s first time going to a party, she never thought she would have to worry about oven temperatures and accurate measurements up until now where the group agreed to whip up something individually that everyone could all share and eat.

That’s why she came to you with this dilemma! Her one and only.

Definitely not so she could simultaneously spend time with you.

You believed the thought process behind her choice of baking a blackcurrant pie was genius: the lattice crust on top could mimic a spiderweb and the colour behind itself was the real thing that appealed to the goth eye.

At the start, Gwen was nervous. She never did this kind of stuff before and didn’t want to screw it up, especially if her friends were going to eat it.

That’s why you suggested: I’ll make the crust, you can make the blackcurrant filling.

Oh how she loved crushing the blackcurrants,“Just imagining it’s Heather’s head right now.” She said with a smile.

Isn’t she so cute!

After pouring the sauce in the base, Gwen’s ambition really skyrocketed- you couldn’t deny how happy you felt when she insisted on making the perpendicular crust for the top, and that was just one example.

Even with all the red on her hands, she really was an artist.

“This is fun! It’s really like painting! Only with dough and fruit.”

Now, all the pie needed was no more than thirty minutes in the oven. To pass the time, you guys decided to do some drawing in her bedroom.

And it came out beautifully! The crust was golden brown and the blackcurrant juices were steaming with sweet flavour. Delicious... You can tell by Gwen’s eyes that she can’t wait to sink her teeth into a slice of it.

But her craving was quickly replaced by annoyance, upon realising how messy the countertop and floor was.

You cheekily remind her that she could’ve just bought something and passed it off as hers if she didn’t want to go through the trouble of cleaning everything up.

“Y-You think I would do something like that just so I wouldn’t need to clean? Jeez, I’m not that bad! I couldn’t handle the dreading guilt of doing that to them. Besides, I made it with you. That alone already tops off any other pie I could have bought instead.” <3

BAKING WITH ALEJANDRO

(IN CELEBRATION OF A SPANISH FESTIVITY)

“It would be an utmost honour, mi tesoro.”

In light of his Spanish roots, you were going to be baking “Pan de Cea” which was some kind of bread that’s traditionally made in favour of this summer festival called “festa de exaltación”.

You couldn’t wait! However, because you weren’t so familiar with bread baking, you were naturally amazed by Alejandro having known the entire recipe off by heart.

“No need to be ashamed. Unlike my love for you, this recipe will be very easy for you to understand.”

And what would be a day with Alejandro without his charming lines?

You loved and hated the warm effect they had on you, even more so when they escalated to a physical level.

He loves to stand right behind you, with his hand being on yours when you were mixing the yeast, the flour, the salt, the olive oil together...

He’d pour the water so majestically into the bowl and took over when your arm got tired of stirring.

After the dough was hard, he claimed that you’d have to leave it in the bowl under plastic wrap for a day,“I know I’d feel safe if you stayed here all day with this dough, your beauty is the perfect thing to maintain a high temperature.”

Pretending you weren’t flustered, he laughed and invited you to get churros with him to make up for the spare time- it was only fitting.

Timeskip to the next day where the dough was hard, just how it needed to be on the parchment paper. Two minutes of watching Alejandro rub the dough in olive oil felt like two hours with the frequent looks he shoots at you.

Once he’s done, he pampers you by also literally massaging you during the hour needed for the bread to rise. Guess he thought you got jealous of it.

Jealous was a stretch, but you didn’t think you’d groan when it was time to take the loaf out. At least it smelt as pleasant as it looked.

As you were about take a piece, Alejandro stopped your hand with his to take it for you instead. This was nothing out of the ordinary, Alejandro just enjoyed having the liberty to feed you like that.

“Delicious... You did so well...”

“Don’t hold yourself at such low standards, mi amor! We did very well. Words alone aren’t enough to describe how proud I am of you. Feliz festa de exaltación.”

“Happy exaltation party!”

For the first time in your relationship with him, he was the one caught off guard,”Did I say it in English before?”

¡Era canela fina! ///

BAKING WITH CHRIS

(JUST WANTING TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM)

Initially, he would accuse the activity something only for “peasants” to do so you quickly reminded him that it was an insensitive thing to say and it wasn’t always about material things; sometimes it’s just about wanting to spend time with him outside Total Drama.

Once he’s gotten over his pride, he joins you, on the condition that you made cookies- since, according to him, it requires the less mental strength.

This probably won’t be surprising, but he made you do most of the work (at first). Claimed that his hands would be “soiled” if he touched the “filthy” ingredients for too long.

In the beginning, he was mean spirited as Chris enjoys to be i.e pouring a handful of flour down your clothes, forcing your face down the sink with the tap on, general shoving.

You wouldn’t have minded if you could’ve also had a laugh whenever you tried to recite the treatment.

Yeah he would be seriously insulted if you tried even doing something as little as rubbing a chocolate chip against his cheek.

It wasn’t until you threw an egg at his head out of anger and watched the yolk oil down his hair where he took accountability that he went overboard. Sure, he was laughing while he did.

But his hair was ruined for the rest of the baking process so you were too.

Afterwards, there was less “joking” and more compassion. Somehow now that he temporarily moved past his sadist ways, Chris began to involve himself a lot more in the whisking and licking your finger and vice versa of leftover batter.

The rolling of dough into a collection of spheres was arguably the best part.

“Look Chris! I made one that looks just like you!” You held up a cookie circle, obvious that those two lines of dough were purposely added to be on top to mimic his hair.

“Oh? What a coincidence! I made one that looks just like you too!” He declared, revealing a sticky slob of dough in his hand right after he said that.

“Oi...” You smile helplessly,”That’s not a nice thing to say to your spouse.”

But hey, if he didn’t tease at all, was that really Chris?

Post setting them on the tray and into the oven, Chris immediately rushes to the shower, and by the time he’s done, you were on your fifth cookie.

He whined at you for not waiting for him, but you’re quick to hand the one you’re on to him.

He finishes it, not without reminding you that you were the only exception to treating him like a “regular” person. Which in his books, was a deadly sin.

Needless to say, he’s impressed; despite him letting on so little, you’ve been with this man long enough to know otherwise. You could only smirk when he makes dismissive claims that they would’ve came out better if it was just him making them as he took spontaneous sips of his glass of milk.

By the end, he’s really glad you had this time together. He won’t stop thinking about it for a while. Heck, he’s more excited about baking with you again than you are.

Even if he won’t admit it.

Yet. :)

#total drama #total drama island #total drama scenarios #td lindsay #td chris #tdi #td gwen #td alejandro #baking scenarios #romance #fluff #x reader #tdi x reader

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mikalame · 1 year ago

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hii could you do kind of platonic fem reader where her, bill and tom do everything together like when they watch a movie both of them are cuddling with reader if that make sense? and when they do other things too it’s always both of them with reader. maybe their fans think she is dating both of them but they are actually just really good friends but they are also super close yk? like their love language is tuch and all three just have so much love for each other. maybe reader has had her private moments with bill and tom but it didn’t work out with either of them and if didn’t affect the friendship either?

taglist : @oppopotamus @violentnewmarley

"____!, you should totally come over to our house after practice" Bill whines, Bill you know i cant have to do my chores" you groan back having already told him that you needed to do them "Oh come on ___ pleasee, we will help you with them but only if you come over to ours" Tom pleased while packing all his guitar things away "wait, i dont wanna do chores" Bills says to his brother shocked that he would amke them do more chores than nessisary "Ill only come over if you help with them" ___ says back with a smug smile on her face "Ughh, fineee" Bill groans "Woo, Ho" Tom says happly.

Time skip

"Oi, are you watching the movie without me" Tom says "uhm, no?" ___ says with a mouth full of m&m's "how could you, you told me you would wait, you liar's" Tom says with faux sadness as he plops himslef on the couch on the opposite side of her "Oh get over it tom we called you ealirer but you were probaly to busy jerking off huh" ___ says cockly "was not" Tom says trying to defend himself, the two of you started to bicker "shut up, im trying to watch the movie you interrupted Tom" ___ snaps back. After the movie had ended both of you fell asleep on the couch toms arm wrapped around your shoulder and you leaning on him. Unbeknown to them but Georg had come in with one of the camera crew members and walked in on them, the camera capturing it all, tabloids went crazy thinking that you two were dating lol.

"OMG, did you see Britnry Spears new song ahhhhh i love it so muchh" Bill says bustimg down your door and jumping on to your bed nearly knocking over the nail polish you were using to paint your nails on to your magazine you were reading. "Wow, bill watch where you are going,nearly knocked over my stuff" you say pretending to be angry "oooo thats a pretty shade i love it, Oh could you paint mine its starting to chip a bit and yk i suck at doing my right hand" Bill says kicking off his shoes onto your floor" grabbing the magazine flipping though it "Oooo you would look so good with this makeup look" you point at one of the looks in the magizine leaning into bill "nah not my thing not enough black ahahah" Bill laughs "Bill, could you help me with my other hand i dont have much nail polish remover left and i dont wanna use it all up yet" you say "yea sure honey" bill says grabbing the brush from you. You two take some cute selfies uploading them onto facebook. Tabliods when crazy again (girl your so popluar lol)

Here are some HC of places where you 3 have been that made it seem like you were dating them.

. 5 star resturant- you three were clebrating winning an award and went to dinner for it. Georg and Gustav showed up later as they wantd to be dressed fancier for the dinner

. Movies- You were watching the movie that Bill voiced acted. He was very proud and wanted 2 of the most important people in his life to watch it with him.

.ice skating rink- you 3 had seen some funny videos of people doning and wanted to see if you were any better (you looked like newborn deers) you and bill were laughing at tom as his jeans goit caught on the ice and he assed over

. on a picnic- you 3 had gotten back from a 2 month long tour and just wanted some time with just you three and nature (bill got chased by a squirel trying to have his snow white moment)

Hope you likeee dont mind the spelling mistakes

#bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz #bill kaulitz x reader #tokio hotel

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simplyjake · 9 months ago

Text

Enha hyungs with filo!reader

summary: meeting the fam and visiting the philippines with your lovely boyfriend!

a/n: this is VERY self indulgent yall. im filo-american

i think its fully gn!reader.. let me know of any mistakes!

Heeseung

All da titas LUV hee

Girl atp during your family parties

You enter and ur man isnt with you

“Anako where is your boyfriend”

Like damn my bad tita i thought you wanted to see me more

Yk… your niece/nephew

The younger kids love him

Hes the life of the party

This goes without saying but you teach him a lot of tagalog

Or whatever dialect you speak!

You taught him putangina mo and he hasnt stopped saying it since omg

“Yo jake”

“Hmm?”

“Putang ina mo”

LOLLLLL

You teach him how to make your favorite meals

I think heeseung would really enjoy bibingka

Though let me just say

Good luck getting your man back during a party fr like

If hes not doing karaoke w the titas, hes playing mahjong with the uncles, if not them your older cousins steal him to game and the young kids love playing house with him

And once you found him with one of your cousins babies in the room as he sings them to sleep

like which one gave him that baby please..

Jay

Okay so jay

When you brought him to the philippines for the first time

Pookie LIVED at the mall of asia let me tell you

Like honey we still gotta do everything else

Jay would love baguio too

Doesnt even care if they are over paying him for the taho he LOVES IT

“Jay pls stop talking to them in english theyre overcharging u”

“Womp womp i dont care this street food is fire”

Did he fr just womp womp you…

He said this after getting said taho

You made sure he knew how to bless the elderly before you meet everyone

And he makes sure he does it to all the lolas and lolos in your family!

Hes just in awe with the country and how pretty it is

He asks your parent how to cook some of your fav dishes

Just so he can make it at home whenever you feel homesick

He actually had to buy a THIRD luggage for yall cus he would not stop buying souvenirs and clothes when you went.

I think jays fav filo dish would be balatong idk

I dont make the rules

Tbh i kinda do

Anywho

After the trip jay has a talk with you

He really wants to have a house there for whenever you visit and have it be next to your family home :( so cute

Makes plans to propose at your favorite place in the ph!!

Jake

Ok jake

The titos LOVE jake

Honorary filipino of the family fs

Your younger girl cousins are all over him HELP

“Can i have my man back”

“No.”

“You heard them y/n, i guess i have to stay with her”

Oh hes sick

Constantly offered your lola to help cook

She said no plenty of times but he wouldnt take no for an answer!

You took him to visit paoay

LOVED IT THERE

Jollibees number one fan

LIVES for the pineapple quencher got it anytime he ordered

Hesitant on the cheese and ube pie

Ended up buying like two during the visits

Jake love love loves igado

Its now one of his favorite dishes

His fav dish tho was the empanadas by the small shop near your house

After the trip he is now officially in the gc u nd ur cousins have

He was already planning your next trip back

Even though youre halfway through this one

Like babe let's maybe finish this before anything else ok?

Sunghoon

Since hes a bit on the quieter side

Hed be a bit awkward meeting everyone first

If you're in a filo family yk how they are when you bring a man home oml..

But in the end

He fits in well with your family fr

Also hot take

I think sunghoon loves balut

I cant remember if any of the enha members have tried it before so forgive me

But i just feel he woul enjoy it the most

Loved the beach trips you and him would take

He buys the silly “I love the Philippines” shirts

Gets a few little trinkets to display around the house

Became friends with your tourist guide

Now they follow each other on facebook

Based off true events

Talkative s/o and bf who listens

You tell him all about the history of the places you visit

And he looks at you absorbing all the info you tell him

#enhypen #enha #enha x reader #enhypen imagines #enha imagines #heeseung #jay park #park jongseong #jake sim #sim jaeyun #park sunghoon #heeseung x reader #jay park x reader #jake sim x reader #sunghoon x reader #enhypen reactions #enhypen x reader

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iridescentpull · 1 year ago

Text

Letter from Anthony to Ian (August 24, 2017)

**NOTE: There might be a few spelling mistakes so I apologize! This is a transcript of Anthony's letter put together for your reading!**

------------

Ian,

Hello old time friend. I have a lot to say to you that has remained unsaid for many years.

First, I want to thank you for being such a great friend to me in my very fragile teenage years. I came from a broken home with very little money and no means to explore the world outside of suburban Carmichael. You introduced me to your loving family, who welcomed me and loved me with open arms. They helped me travel and showed me a way of life that I hadn't been exposed to. You personally were supportive and overall were a very good friend to me who I felt could share anything with.

I'm not sure why, but something changed. I feel our best friendship ended around 2009, and a resentment started growing between us. I started feeling a judgment in the tone of your voice. A sense of hostility in your actions. Did I do something that upset you? Did I treat you poorly? Did I make you feel insignificant- downplay the importance you had in our company and imply you were not as responsible for our success as me?

I know I struggle with many things, and I'm so sorry if i ever put you through emotional turmoil in order to fulfill my own quota of self-importance. I always wanted everything I made to be just that- something I "made" with your help. I considered smosh to be something you only tagged along for, and I'm deeply sorry if I ever made you feel like you didn't deserve as much credit as me. You may not have done some of the heavy lifting I did in the early days, but definitely encouraged us to keep going and you kept things light and full of laughs as we did it. We accomplished so much and I am now just realizing how important you were in making that happen.

I have so many things I have treated that I regret and so many things I wish I could apologize to you for doing- I really wish you would give me a chance to speak with you. There are also so many things I wish you would explain to me.

Why have you consistently made me feel ashamed to be myself in front of you for so many years? The time I asked you what you thought about my shoes when we were seventeen and you told me you thought they were hideous- and I could tell you only said it to hurt my feelings. The time you talked shit behind my back on facebook to the girl we were friends with that I introduced you to. The amount of things you said behind my back to our high school friends about me and my relationship. The snide remarks you made about me being vegan. The times you made me feel stupid for making any content whatsoever that was not directly smosh-related. The snide remarks about anything I made that put my true emotions out there for the world. I just wished you were better at communicating.

I know I'm not any better but i feel like i tried with you. I tried to break out of my comfort zone and talk about things that made me feel uncomfortable. When we were in New York for our "Ghostmates" tour we got drinks and I opened up about how embarrassed I was that my previous relationship was so obviously bad to the outside world and how naive I was to think I would actually marry someone like that. I was vulnerable and breaking down all my walls in hopes you'd return the favor. But nothing. The conversation was once again one-sided.

Am I just horrible to open up to you? Have I made you feel uncomfortable to open up around me? Have I made you feel all the ways you've made me feel? Are the ways you treat me nothing but an echo of how I treat you? Am I the one at fault here? Did I create a problem that went way further than the point of no return? Is this all because of me?

PERHAPS.

But I don't think there is a point of no return for friendships as deep as ours was. I am reaching out to you as an ex-best friend. I want to talk about things and lay them all out there so we can possibly mend things. And if we don't become friends again, at least we can say we tried. But why avoid trying all together?

What are you afraid of? I know I've been callous in the past, but please give me a chance. I've changed and I'm now a more understanding person. All I ask for you is for you to stop being a fucking asshole. Just kidding. I had to say it. I just want you to treat me with respect again.

After everything I've observed in the past few years, I'm starting to truly believe you may not be a good person anymore. Do I even want to know the bitter, grumpy, vengeful person you've become? Is it better that I keep my distance to ensure I don't get even more hurt by you in the future?

I feel like you've become the bully. You are so upset by so many things but you keep it all to yourself. No one knows what's really going on inside your head, but you take the easiest route and put a fake smile on and walk around like you have a life to envy, but deep down inside you're hurting. There's more going on than you even know, All things that slowly come bubbling up to the surface through your skin, they boil under the surface and fester until they finally burst with a shitty loaded comment or a passive aggressive outburst.

I feel like I haven't known the real you for so many years. Does anyone know the real you?

Do you know the real you?

#smosh #ianthony #ian hecox #anthony padilla #☀️🔎#screaming crying throwing myself against a wall

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

Note

am I the asshole for sort of accidentally ruining someone's wedding and kind of dooming their marriage?

I know that sounds really really bad but please bear with me because I really didn't mean for this to happen and I still just feel really confused about the part I played in all this and don't know if I'm an asshole for it.

I (23f) used to date this guy in college on and off, over the course of several months. He dropped me out of the blue one day and I saw later on social media he was engaged to a girl we both knew. I'm still unclear if she was aware that he and I were in a situationship deal while he was also, I guess, dating her and playing serious. I just figured okay icky but whatever, we won't be speaking again.

Then I get a wedding invitation. I figured it had to be a mistake, no way she'd want me there so I called her (she'd been my RA at one point so I still had her number saved). She said no, no mistake I was legitimately invited because we'd sorta been close during that year she was my RA and she was so nice over the phone idk I felt bad for wanting to say no so I said yes, I'd be there and also sent the rsvp back. I know I should've said something like hey I used to mess around with your soon to be husband I don't think I should be there especially if you didn't know about that but I just didn't say anything about it.

I continued to feel weird about it up until the day of the wedding. The reception was lovely if a little awkward mostly because I felt so awkward, but nearly two hours went by and I started hearing in chatter that they couldn't find the groom. People in the wedding party were really starting to freak out thinking he just straight up left.

They eventually found him, he locked himself in a room at the hotel where the reception was being held. Eventually someone comes to me saying I need to go talk to him because he only wants to speak to me. I just truly wanted to die and get swallowed up by the ground but I said fine I'll go talk to him and see if I can convince him to come out.

We talk, he says he can't go through with it because he's been staring at me the entire time and not even thinking about the bride to be literally on the other side of the door listening to us. I got a little heated telling him that he's really hurting her and it's extra shitty because that wasn't just about him it's about her too, hes the one who proposed to her, planned a wedding with her, ect. I said call it off if you want but you and I aren't getting back together and you need to go out there either way and talk to her.

After that he came out, idk what was discussed exactly with her or the wedding party but eventually they said the ceremony will go through as planned. I couldn't get out of there fast enough, I felt so horrible that I'd probably ruined this girl's dream day and I should've turned down the invitation and been straight up with her.

I tried to forget about it then three months later he hits me up on a blank burner account on facebook explaining it was him and asking me for nude pictures. I screenshot the messages, did not respond, and sent them to his wife. They both blocked me on everything after that but I heard from a mutual friend that she'd filed for divorce, they hadn't even been married for three full months.

It's not solely because of me that they got divorced, apparently there was a whole slew of girls he'd been messaging and he never really stopped messing around behind her back but I feel like if I'd just said something right away during that initial call maybe she wouldn't have gone through with it and wouldn't have been put in that position as the wife who got cheated on.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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dw19791967 · 2 months ago

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That Feeling Part 3

Pairing: Dean x reader (eventual), OFC Tyler

Y/N POV and Dean POV

Warnings: language, unrequited love, angst, unwanted kissing, depression, anxiety, and feelings.

Trigger Warning: This fic contains discussions of depression and anxiety and feelings that go along with those. If that could be triggering for you I would skip out on this one. It is based on some experiences I have had in real life.

*All mistakes are my own!

I'm back (kinda) here's part 3. I'm thinking possibly two more parts. Let me know what you think!

-Layla

*I do not own this gif

Y/N’s POV:

It has been 5 months since one of the worst nights of my life. I started therapy and have been doing a lot better. It was kinda weird at first talking to someone about my life issues and past traumas, I spent a lot of time just sitting there trying to figure out what to say, especially since I can’t mention anything about hunting. But overall it’s been good. I’ve been taking better care of myself, spending more time with the boys, mostly Sam. Dean has been distant lately but I figured it was because he has spent so much one on one time with me the last few months. Sam has helped me start exercising daily (even though I hate it with every fiber of my being). I’ve lost around 10 pounds which is great considering I still eat a ton of take out. I’m starting to feel like my old self again. I took a break from hunting and started writing, that lasted a hot minute before I was tired of staying home.

Being back in a routine was good, I feel good.

We are on the road currently Sam caught a case about missing bodies. One of my favorite things. They think I’m weird for enjoying the quiet of cemeteries, but I know it’s because the dead are easier to deal with than the living some days.

“Ok, we got four missing corpses. Gladis Bramford was the first, mid 80’s when she passed. They found her head a few counties over, still missing the rest.” Sam was typing away on his computer.

“Who the hell takes a head only?” Dean had a grossed out look on his face.

I laughed.

“Evidently someone had big plans, poor Gladis.” I poked Dean in the shoulder.

Sam rolled his eyes. “The strangest part was her eyes were replaced with red glass, they haven’t been able to figure out which funeral home she was housed at before entering her final resting place.”

“So what do we think, grave robbers, ghouls, demons?” I asked Sam.

“Not sure, we will have to see after we check the head out.”

_________________________________________________

Sam went to check out the head while Dean and I looked over the case files.

“You doing ok sweetheart? I know I haven’t really checked in on you lately.” Dean looked at me.

“For the most part yeah, I feel a lot better than I did. I think taking time to get my head on straight helped a lot, plus therapy.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Dean smiled at me.

I missed spending time with Dean. But I hadn’t pushed him, I figured he needed a break from me and I understood that. I can be a lot sometimes and he has his own stuff to deal with. It’s not easy being my friend. Plus after everything I realized I probably will never be comfortable enough with myself to be with someone. I’m in love with him and probably will always be. Knowing he’s here but I can’t have him is a hard pill to swallow but I’m working everyday to move past it. I know he deserves better and I know I’m not it.

“You haven’t heard anything from that douchebag right?” he continued reading over the files.

“He actually messaged me a few weeks ago from his facebook account. Asked how I was and hoped I was doing better. I ignored it and he kept sending messages, saying he was sorry and he was a dick, blah, blah, blah. I blocked him.”

“What an asshat, he must have balls the size of Texas to reach out to you after the stunt he pulled.”

“I guess so, I was upset by it but I’m moving on.” I smiled at him.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, you didn’t deserve that, any of it.”

“It’s ok Dean, I’ve accepted what has happened and I’m moving on. Choosing between a man and a bear, I’d choose the bear.”

“You don’t mean that, you just haven't found the right man yet.”

I scoffed. “Dean… I’m an overweight, loud mouthed, cursing, strong willed woman, who has extreme trust issues. I doubt I will ever find a man who is ok with that, plus I don’t think I want to put myself out there again, who knows what will happen.”

“Just have me greet them with my glock, I’m sure it will go great after that.”

I laughed.

“In all seriousness I hope you do find someone someday Y/N, you deserve the world whether you believe you do or not.”

My heart sank. The only man I want is right in front of me and he will never want me.

“Thanks De.” I got up to pat him on the shoulder.

“Where are you going?”

“I just need some air.”

“Y/N I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t, I just have a lot on my mind and need a break.”

He frowned.

“It’s ok Dean, really.” I gave him a small smile.

Once I was outside and had the door closed I broke down, I can’t keep doing this to myself.

_________________________________________________

Dean’s POV:

I didn’t mean to upset her. I was trying to give her hope.

It has been five months since I saw Y/N break. I’ve never been so scared in my life seeing her crumble under the weight of the world. I had to step back, let her get her head on straight without me. I don’t want to get used to relying on her to make me feel better. She needs to take care of herself, not me. I missed spending time with her but I knew it was for the best. Plus I know Sam is a better influence. I’m no good for her.

My phone was buzzing.

Sam.

“Hey man.”

“Dean hey, is Y/N with you?”

“Nah, she’s taking a break.”

“Oh, ok. I was going to let you guys know the cops think it’s a serial grave robber, evidently this has happened before. From everything I’ve checked out, I don’t see a relation to a monster. Maybe we should just let the cops handle it?”

I sighed. “Yeah that’s fine, we can stick around for a few days to see if anything happens.”

“You ok dude?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just worry about her.”

“I know you do, but she’s doing better.”

“I know man, I just feel like I’m losing her. I know I stopped hanging with her but I wanted her to be able to heal without me looming over her.”

“Dean, she probably thinks you need a break from her, you know how she thinks.”

“You’re right Sam, I didn’t think about that. God, I messed up.”

“She’ll be back man and you can talk to her, I’ll go grab us some food before I head back.”

As Dean was finishing his call with Sam, she sneaked back in.

“She’s here now, talk to you soon.”

“Everything ok?” she asked.

Her eyes were red, she had been crying.

Shit, I’m an asshole.

“Uh yeah, Sam said cops think it’s a serial grave robber, it’s happened before. Told him we could stick around for a few days and see if anything happens. He’s grabbing food, and should be back soon.”

She nodded.

“Y/N I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” I got up to go towards her.

She backed away.

“It’s ok Dean, I’m just being over sensitive right now.”

“No you’re not, I shouldn't have brought it up.”

“Dean it’s fine really, let’s just drop it.”

“I don’t want to drop it Y/N, I’ve been awful to you these last few months. I was trying to give you space to heal and it backfired. You think I hate you or can’t stand you. Neither is the case.”

“I understand Dean, I know I can be a lot. It’s ok.”

I raised my voice “But it’s not, I feel like I’m losing you!”

She began to cry.

“Dean, I was doing fine, great even. Until I realized the biggest part of me was missing you. Sam was great at helping me, sure, but you told me you would stick by my side and you didn’t. I really get it. I’m annoying as hell. Everyone deserves a break. But you know I would do anything for you, hell I have and I know you have done a lot for me. And the fact is, I’m not yours to lose. So stop apologizing, put your big boy pants on, and move on. I’m not going to keep doing this!”

_________________________________________________

Y/N’s POV:

Dean took a step back and sighed.

He can’t keep doing this to me and I can’t keep doing this to myself.

I could tell I upset him.

I rubbed my head and sighed. “Look, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I just don’t need to keep hearing your apologies alright, I get it Dean. You forget I know you better than you know yourself. I’ll be ok, please don’t beat yourself up.”

I moved to hug him.

He held me in his arms.

Then spoke, “You know I can’t do that sweetheart, beating myself up is my number one hobby.” He laughed.

“Well you need to stop, especially when it comes to me.” I moved back.

“I just need to know it’s going to be ok Y/N, I know I messed up but I will be better. Promise.”

“I know Dean, I know.”

Taglist:

@hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog

@deanspinsterwitchs-readinglist

@pandasrdbest2341

#dean winchester series #supernatural #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #spn fanfiction #supernaturalfanfic

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arkturusz · 8 months ago

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@cult-of-the-eye here it is, hope you like it :3

MAG[REDACTED] - Blood in the Machine

Anonymous statement, regarding the statement maker's purchase and use of a strange desktop computer. Original statement given 4th of February 2024, recording by Arcturus Walker, head archivist of the Magnus Institute, Budapest. Put to tape on the 21st of March 2024. Statement begins:

I don't want to go into details as to why I came to make this decision. It was an offer too good to be true, just what a struggling university student needed: a cheap PC with great specs and with only 2 years of usage. I know how some sellers put enticing prices on Facebook Marketplace just to drop the real deal in later messages, but that wasn't the case. The owner got his hands on "something better" and saw no use in keeping this one around so he asked for the bare minimum that would still be a deal to him.

I went to pick up the desktop, it was a city away so I drove there. It was a bit weird how creeping closer to the destination all we had were dirt roads. I live in the suburbs, I know not all city councils pay it enough attention, but these weren't those dusty solid roads. These were muddy, the tracks barely visible and overgrown with grass. No, not grass, something more- vibrant.

The roads branched off a few hundred meters from my destination, only one going in its general direction so I followed it. I reached a house, no buildings in its neighborhood, crop fields on one side, a small forest on the other, the kind that always seems way more moist than the weather would allow it and always has that smell of thick mud and insects. I could only *enjoy* that for a moment before I got hit with something else, something fleshier. It was a stench that burnt into my nostrils. I try not to judge a house by the smell, my parents were chainsmokers and I've always been more ashamed to bring friends home than it seemed they were bothered by the odor. Assuming I just met a butcher, or really just someone that keeps their own livestock I headed inside.

It felt like a hallucination, it really did. I stepped into a corridor, my lungs full of the dull yet powerful stench that covered everything. My brain felt foggy and with a headache that felt like pressure on my skull I continued inside. I was hoping to pick up the computer and get going right away, and I did my best to accomplish just that. I lifted the PC which was rather heavy and hurried back the way I came when something caught my attention. As I was putting my shoes on my brain alerted me of movement. From all around. The walls seemed to have this rhythmic pulse to them. If I wasn't at the doorstep I would've fainted, that's for sure, but I made it out to my car, telling myself it's the headache getting to me.

The drive back was nothing out of the ordinary, but that foul smell just wouldn't leave my nose. I parked, opened my boot and to no surprise the aroma oozed out of the case like a thick invisible fog, bringing back that numbing pressure that I felt earlier. I grabbed all the cleaning chemicals and similar that I could find lying around, giving it a thorough rub on the outside. I pride myself on my expertise in software, but the hardware always confused me and I never bothered to learn it. Thus I did not want to open it up, which proved to be a grave mistake.

For 6 months straight there seemed to have been no problem with the PC. It worked as intended, was just as fast as I expected and the smell was only noticeable if you got up close to sniff the case. Which I didn't. But two days ago I didn't need to either. I woke up to a strange smell. It wasn't as strong or numbing as the one I felt at the house but it certainly wasn't pleasant. We had maintenance that night, we were notified that from 10pm we should be expecting a blackout. I didn't mind, but it seemed that whatever was in my computer did not like it. I decided to give it another round of cleaning once I was done with my cup of coffee. I dressed up and went to pull out the cables on the back, but they were a lot harder to unplug than I remembered. I ripped out the one which was most limiting length-wise and I pulled the rest of the case out from under my desk. As I saw the back of the PC I had to stop myself from throwing up.

Now I'm not afraid of gore, I grew up in a generation (and the subcultures) that made it such a commonplace it's usually unamusing. On screen, at least. But I didn't expect to come face to face with a chunk of skin stretching across where my plugs should have been. The cable I ripped out laid on the floor, a dark red liquid dripping from it, staining my carpet. Same thing could be found on the back of the case. Turns out the cable wasn't just stuck, it was *integrated* into the fleshy mess that shouldn't have been there.

That's when I got a screwdriver and ripped the case open. It seemed like the only logical way to deal with whatever infested my computer and I didn't know what else I could do. The case came away like a sticker, the inside melted to a wall of human-like skin, peeling away it left a residue of perspiration on the plastic.

The flesh monster's skin seemed to have formed a block, covering its insides from all angles, pressing against the vents and pushing out through the outlets. The cord I ripped had left a nasty hole that started to scar up, but I wanted to see what I was up against and I *didn't let it*. I scraped away the scar tissue with the screwdriver and pushed it through the wound, detaching the vein that supplied my cable from the wall of skin. The case still hugging it from the outside cast a shadow that made it hard for me to see in, so I turned on my flashlight, stretching at the hole with my tool, trying to take a peek.

I saw veins running across the surface, the inside was humid and *warm*, at least warmer than room temperature but it wasn't the heat of a working human body. It was starting to cool. In the middle of the case I saw something heavy, a huge knot in the middle of the circulatory system which kept beating in a steady rhythm. It was slow, the pulse was invisible from the outside, yet it kept pushing blood through the opening, trying to close it up, but the scarring slowed down significantly from when I first ripped that cable out. It ran on electricity, it had to have been the case, the inside had a greenish tone from what I could make out, meaning that during the blackout it started rotting. The system that somehow ran like a normal computer for months started to decay, which reminded me of the smell my brain ignored from my initial shock that once again sat heavy in my lungs.

I did not reconnect it but I didn't know what to do with it either. Who would have I called? I scoured the internet to find your institute, and I left my PC to you. Past making this statement I wish not to associate myself with this case any longer.

Statement ends. First thing after reading this statement I went down to artifact storage to ask about this curio. Turns out whoever left it to us delivered it too late, the "heart" was not beating and the thing once stretched against the walls of it's case now sat collapsed and rotten in the organic section, making any other follow-up almost impossible. Looking for the flesh house also yielded no results, meaning I will put this case to rest as-is. What does keep me wondering are the intentions of the seller. Why would an avatar of the Flesh sell a piece of itself to an unsuspecting individual? There was no mention of the *flesh block* attempting to leave its case meaning there was no intention of spreading the system either. Maybe they didn't intend the buyer to possess it for so long, maybe they tried to alert us of their vicinity. But they failed. They left us with a cold trail. *sigh* Recording ends

This is episode one of my series I call MAGREDACTED, here are all the episodes out now:

The Vast The Stranger The Dark

New episodes will be posted over on @archivus !

#tma #tma fanart #MAGREDACTED #originals #tma fanepisode #the flesh #writing #jon sims

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iloveschiaparelli · 1 month ago

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Harvesting & Processing Basil

Finally! The long-awaited basil post! I wanted to wait until the process was completely finished before putting this together. I deeeefinitely made some mistakes, as you will soon realize.

Part I (October 9): Harvesting the Leaves

I didn't take a picture directly before the harvest, so these ones from 12 days prior must suffice. This is more or less what I started with:

As you can see, it's a fairly healthy plant, albeit smaller than you might expect. My first attempt at basil died in July, and was replaced in August with a cutting from someone else's plant that was being given away on the local freecyling facebook group. I was pleasantly surprised to find out it the cutting had roots, so I planted it and this is what it became in ~ 2 months.

I wasn't originally planning to harvest on any particular day. It was more like I just, on a whim when I got home for the day, grabbed some kitchen scissors and went outside to cut some leaves. I was originally only planning to take a few, leaving some to grow. That was, until I discovered that the plant was flowering. If you don't know already what basil looks like when it flowers, here are some pictures! If you don't know, basil dies after it flowers. (At least that's what I've been told) So when i saw this, I knew I had to go ahead and harvest the whole thing. There is also a photo at the end of the flower/seed pods that are precursors to the flower. I had never understood how the ends of basil look different when they're growing new leaves vs. about to flower until I saw this. Now I know what to look for.

I was texting a boy basically the entire day while harvesting, so it took several hours longer than it needed to, because I kept pausing to type on my phone. I went out at like, 3pm, and finished + came inside around 6-7pm. Yes, we are dating now.

This is what it looked like at the halfway point, when I was just laying all the stems in a pile and collecting small leaves in the strainer:

That is when I realized it was hubris to have such a small vessel, so I grabbed a large mixing bowl from inside.

This is what the plant and both bowl & strainer looked like when I finished picking off of the main plant:

I was... shocked, haha. I did not expect the stems to have so much volume when picked. As you can see, I left some leaves at the end of the plant where there were flowers, so that I could enjoy them for a while longer until they withered. Also left some "undesirable" (by me) leaves behind on the woody stems.

The next step was to separate the leaves from the stems. Remember, I was winging this whole process and not thinking ahead. Otherwise, I might have been pulling off the individual leaves from the start. I got this setup, with a paper towel for a working space, and a slightly smaller mixing bowl as the receptacle for stripped leaves. I used bag clips and the weight of the bowls to prevent the paper towel from blowing away:

For the most part, I just relied on my fingernails to cleanly break the leaves from the stems, then threw the stems to the back of the paper towel and the leaves into the bowl. I only had to use the scissors a few times, especially for cutting off pieces of leaves where bugs had begun to eat them, or they were extremely yellow, but I wanted to still use the green part. Here are some process photos, including a couple of tiny heart-shaped leaves. There's also one leaf where, when I cut it, just the clear strip of cellulose remained where the rest of the leaf had been, and I thought it was cool that I could see through it.

When i was done, I threw the stems back into the planter. With the stems removed, everything fit in the smaller mixing bowl just fine. Since the basil was in the planter for only ~2 months, the plan is to remove the roots and re-use the dirt for something else (like giving more space to + propagating my African Violet! Which is something I've been wanting to try lately. I already saved an egg carton to potentially use for starting the leaves.

Part II (October 10): Washing & Drying the Leaves

I was going to wash the leaves and lay them out to dry on the same day, as I believe is recommended, but I got lazy LOL. So I returned the following day. I started by putting leaves in the strainer and rinsing them under the faucet, but quickly realized that that was going to be annoying and take forever. I finally decided that the most efficient course of action was just to fill the bowl with water so that everything got soaked. I used warm water, with no solution or vinegar or anything added.

I got an extra large baking sheet and put down a paper towel on it. I had just begun pulling leaves out of the water and laying them out on the paper towel when I realized that this was too much water involved. I fixed the issue (somewhat) by pouring all the wet leaves into the strainer and shaking it gently to remove as much moisture as I safely could, then set it down to let it continue to drip down into the bowl while I worked. Setup A vs B:

Although I started off trying to make sure everything was evenly spaced, I had roughly 14 layers of paper towels to put down so I eventually faded into chaos, as every ADHD gardener is wont to do. Some vague asf process photos & what the stacks looked like:

I let it sit for a few hours while I cleaned out my food dehydrator. Now, this is the part where I Completely forgot to be taking process photos, so Unfortunately, I don't even have any pictures of the dehydrator to share, except for this product photo of the model that I was using:

I laid out all of the still-slightly-damp leaves in all of the trays, trying to keep them evenly spaced and not overlapping but (kind of) failing. Then I shelved it to wait overnight for the leaves to air-dry. Had I been doing this properly, I would have let the leaves sit on the paper towels, in a single layer, instead of stacked up or in the dehydrator the way I did.

Part III (Several Day Period Oh My God): Dehydrating the Leaves

It is utterly embarrassing how difficult it was to get these leaves dry. The recommended temperature for basil/herbs is 95 degrees Farenheit, for 12-24 hours for basil. I started off at the lowest dehydrator setting, 100F, for 13 hours and started it overnight.

In the morning, two of my three roommates were complaining about the smell and asked me to move it outside to the porch (direct sunlight) I obliged, and seeing as the basil was still thoroughly damp, added another 6 hours on.

Then I forgot it overnight again. *sigh*

I brought it back inside and realized that all of the leaves on the top were brown (albeit mostly dry), but many of the leaves at the bottom were still wet. This is when I posted my cry for help on Tumblr dot com, and was told to not put them outside again.

Unsure what to do and overwhelmed by other tasks, I pretty much gave up. I ran it for roughly 12 more hours indoors a day or two later as a last-ditch effort, but didn't check it right away.

October 22nd was the day I finally took the time to check the leaves and I was immensely and pleasantly surprised to find that almost all of the leaves were dry! I knew that it had likely been exposed to moisture in the powered-off dehydrator, so I ran it for 2 hours just to get rid of any atmospheric moisture and then set to work on grinding it up.

Part IV (October 22): Processing the Dried Leaves

This was, honestly, the second-most-fun part of the process immediately after the harvest. It was a little bit tedious, but I still enjoyed it. It's also when I started taking pictures again.

First of all, I spilled several leaves onto the floor while trying to empty the trays into a small metal mixing bowl that I was using to collect the dried leaves. Unfortunately, they had to be swept away because our kitchen floor is dirty.

A week or two earlier, I had washed out an Old Bay seasoning container, anticipating putting ground basil in it. I know that whole leaves preserve the flavor better, but I am working with what I can here!!! This is what worked best for me this time. My roommate Lilly has a tiny asf mortar & pestle that she allowed me to use, so I washed it out. I grabbed a funnel for the Old Bay shaker, and set up shop at a foldout table right in the middle of the kitchen floor. I put on the podcast that I'm currently working through, a Behind the Bastards miniseries titled Behind the Police. It was released in summer of 2020 and is all about the history of the institution of police in the USA. Super interesting.

This was the setup:

So, the way I did this was, I would gather a few leaves at a time into the mortar & pestle, grind it up in a circular motion, and then pour the ground basil into the funnel and the Old Bay container. Pretty simple and straightforward.

A few leaves in the bowl were still damp/limp, and wouldn't crumble in the mortar & pestle. I just removed them as I went. I included the brown leaves from the top tray because, at this point, I was just happy that I wouldn't have to throw everything away.

This is what it all looked like when I was done! As you can see, only a few leaves had to be removed.

Part V: Conclusion & What I've Learned

It's absolutely incredible to me how much those leaves at the start reduced, until they only filled a tiny handheld bottle!!! Yes, that is ALL of the leaves!! To drive home how insane this is, here is a side-by-side of the initial harvest of leaves-only, and the bottle that it filled at the end:

Just crazy! It's a bit hard to comprehend the scale from these pictures, honestly.

From there, it was just cleanup and storing the dehydrator, then writing BASIL

basil BAsil. BASIL

BASIL. BASIL

all over the Old Bay container so that it wouldn't be mistaken.

The plan if i didn't have enough room in the bottle was to portion out & give away bags of whole leaves at the punk rock market, like I've been doing with zines (oh! that's something I haven't posted about!). I was slightly disappointed that I didn't have enough, to be honest

Going through this process has given me an insane amount of increased respect to spice harvesters both currently in the spice world, and throughout history. It's a LOT of work to harvest & process just one bottle of basil! It's like that one post talking about how our ancestors are probably proud of us, or at least happy for us, to be surrounded by spices and luxuries that previously were only available to the rich and powerful.

Also as someone with Indian heritage, which is known for its spices LOL, this honestly felt like it connected me a little bit with that culture that I wasn't raised in. Not in any crazy metaphorical way, just coming to appreciate the process and work that goes into spice production, in a way that I wasn't able to before going through this process. The significance of spices carries more weight for me now.

I don't think I'll be able to use all of this basil before next year. I honestly don't even cook with dried basil that often, it's just nice to have fresh basil. What I might do is manage a plant again next year, for the gardening experience, then just straight-up give away fresh & dried basil at the market like I was originally planning to this time. I could plan it a little bit better, though, to ensure that I can feel confident in the quality.

8/10 enjoyment. Tedious & frustrating at times, but ultimately very rewarding, and mostly fun! This is the first, and likely only, harvest I've had this year in 2024. I look forward to expanding next year!!! I can't wait to see what I'll grow then. Time to start planning, I guess!

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