#my meta: wild cards

[hithelleth]

Yesssss, Wild Cards is back and it was as fun as I remembered. And Max always has another ace up her sleeve. Mhm.

[midnightwind]

begging people to just block annoying accounts on the internet and move on oh my god-

[trickstersshadow]

( It dawns on me that the moment Meta gets his hands on Summoner crystal, he can probably end ARR pretty easily, maybe. )

[mokulule]

While I fail to focus after my night shift have a peek at another of my brain worms

Untitled, I am still waiting for that moment of divine inspiration. Ship: Dead on Main (Danny/Jason)  Fandom: DP x DC 

The only sounds in the Batcave were the bats chittering amongst themselves high above. Bruce rubbed his chin absently as he took in the information displayed on the large screens with narrowed eyes. Something wasn’t adding up. Somebody was lying.

No matter how many times he looked over the information, that was his conclusion. It nagged at him that he didn’t know what, if any, information he could use. He hated being so in the dark. 

A silent notification in the corner of his screen alerted him to a call from the Watchtower. He took it and Superman’s face appeared in a smaller rectangle on the center of the screen. Bruce kept outwardly placid but from behind the cowl nobody would see the way his gaze instantly zeroed in on the massive black eye Superman had acquired, and the general strain around his unhurt eye and mouth. He was worn out. 

“Phantom has been apprehended,” Superman said with a long sigh. It had clearly not been an easy fight. 

“I’ll be there,” Batman said and ended the call. Maybe they’d finally get some real answers. 

He stood and walked towards the zeta tube. Another call came in, this time on the comm in his cowl. 

“Hood,” he greeted.

“Hey, old man. I’m at the location. You were right it’s absolutely crawling with the white suits and their weaponry is not like anything I’ve seen before.”

Bruce felt like a hand squeezed his heart. Hood out of anyone knew his weapons, if he didn’t know them they weren’t on the market. He absolutely hated asking any of his kids to walk into an unknown situation. Unfortunately he didn’t have any other options. 

“Be careful, Hood.”

“Aww, is that worry I detect?”

“Just don’t take unnecessary risks,” Bruce cautioned.

“You wouldn’t have asked me if you didn’t think it was necessary, old man. Don’t worry, I’ll get you your intel.”

Bruce grunted. Jason was right. He wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t think it was important. Didn’t mean he had to like it, nor the fact that Red Hood’s criminal reputation made him perfect for breaking into a government building; even if Hood was seen the Justice League kept plausible deniability. 

Everyone knew Red Hood was a wild card. 

“Check in regularly with Oracle.”

He could practically feel the way Jason rolled his eyes at him.

“Not my first rodeo, B.”

With that the connection cut off. Bruce couldn’t help the bad feeling he had about everything. 

He really hated this stage of an investigation. 

Two months ago the US government contacted the Justice League about a problem. Several bases of a government agency named the GIW had been hit by a malicious creature they called Phantom. The attacks had been gaining in severity and frequency and their measures had so far failed to stop it. 

Since then, a member of the Justice League had arrived too late to five such attacks. They’d stood no chance against Phantom, who’d then disappeared, living up to the name.

To their eyes Phantom was outwardly a humanoid, possibly a meta or alien. The GIW called him a ghost from a different dimension.

They had been at a loss of how exactly to contain such a powerful foe, who not only could go toe to toe with their heavy hitters like Superman, but also disappear by means unknown. This time they’d been prepared. They’d had various team configurations ready to go depending on who was available. 

Something that seemed to have paid off, but Bruce did not like that Clark was injured. Because if Clark was injured…

A zeta tube ride later and he met Superman on the Watchtower. Something that hadn’t been apparent on the call was the sling Superman’s left arm was in. Another visible injury added to the swollen eye. 

“Is everyone alright?” He had to ask.

“Nobody’s permanently hurt.” Clark hurried to assure as they started walking towards the interrogation room, but there was a but. Bruce kept his stare steady until Clark tiredly elaborated: “But nobody got out the fight unscathed. John won’t be walking for a while. J’onn is suffering from psychic backlash. Diana has some broken ribs and scrapes and you can see my own wounds. Everyone is tired, it was a long fight.”

Batman’s lips thinned. At least there had been no casualties. 

Almost as if reading his mind. Superman added quietly. 

“We got there while the base was still standing. Phantom made eye contact with me for a moment, before he unleashed this… sonic attack…” His face turned pained, as he looked for words that came halting. “It was a scream, I can’t describe it, it felt- it felt like I was dying. None of us could get close.”

Superman looked away.

“When it was over the base was gone, eradicated, like the others. There was just a large crater. Who knows how many people were still in there.”

Bruce set a hand on his friend’s shoulder. It was never easy to deal with casualties. 

“The one good thing about it was that the scream seemed to drain quite a bit of energy from him.” Clark barked a laugh, short and hysterical. Bruce knew Clark would have rather faced Phantom at full power if it meant more people had lived. 

“And still it was all we could do to subdue him. We barely won.”

They barely won. Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern and Martian Manhunter, and they barely won. The knowledge sat like a heavy ball in Bruce’s chest. 

Now, maybe they could get intel that wasn’t most reluctantly handed over by a government agency, that didn’t even want to reveal what their alphabet soup name was an abbreviation of. “We had to turn off the ‘Ghost Shield’ to get Phantom inside the base, so we at least know it works, even if for some reason it doesn’t protect the GIW bases,” Superman remarked.  

Bruce hnn’ed to show he’d heard. It was one more discrepancy among many.

Batman entered the observation room with Superman at his back. Wonder Woman was there and he quickly took in her unusually disheveled appearance, she looked tired and uncomfortable, shaken (but whole, safe). He nodded in greeting and she gave him a tight smile in return. He turned to the observation window and felt his breath stick in his throat.

Phantom was- 

The glitchy footage they’d managed to get on earlier encounters couldn’t have prepared him. Bruce felt his jaw clench. Phantom looked young. There was still a hint of baby fat stubbornly clinging to his cheeks. He was short and wiry like Tim but maybe a bit younger than Jason, technically an adult, but to Bruce he still looked painfully young. The overall glowing and the slowly seeping green wound at his hairline didn’t take away just how human he looked. 

Bruce looked at Phantom and saw a kid. Worse, supposedly a dead kid, a ghost, if the most basic of their intel was to be believed, which even that he wasn’t entirely sure of.

A weight was heavy on his shoulders. He had to remind himself that he had found evidence of Phantom throughout history and if a ghost was truly what he was, he was most likely a very old, very powerful spirit, for whom age didn’t matter. It would be a mistake to trust the youthful appearance. 

He was chained to the chair both by wide cuffs at his wrists and ankles so he could only move very little. The cuffs were the best they had when it came to meta power suppression cuffs with some added ghost specific sigils courtesy of Zatanna’s research. She would have liked Constantine to look them over too as that sort of thing was more his area of expertise, but he’d been off on one of his extra-dimensional missions since long before this started and they hadn’t been able to contact him. 

The cuffs kept Phantom here in any case and he didn’t look happy about it. His lips were a flat line and the thick black brows were drawn together over narrowed green eyes. His head was held high (stubbornness? Pride?), chin tilted in a way that showed off a bright green-purple line around his throat, which had it been red and on a human would have looked like rope burn-

Bruce looked to Diana and he suddenly understood part of her discomfort.

“He was about to use another sonic attack, I didn’t see any other way.” Her words were quiet, regretful, but she faced his gaze head on. Bruce nodded. She never would have used the lasso like that under normal circumstances. It was incredibly worrying how much it had taken to subdue him. 

For a moment the three of them just stood there in silence, watching Phantom watch the door.

It was finally time for answers. 

Bruce didn’t make any outward sign that he was about to move, but of course Clark caught on even before he’d moved, stepping aside letting Bruce take point. They went into the interrogation room, Diana staying back to observe and be ready with security measures, they didn’t know for sure would even work.

They entered the room and immediately sharp green eyes locked onto him. There was a quick glance towards Superman, but the eyes quickly focused back on Batman. There was a calculating sort of intelligence behind those eyes. 

That was one question immediately answered, but it was one he could have inferred. It was very hard to believe the claim that this “ghost” was non-sentient, when he specifically targeted the bases of a specific government agency and nothing else. Though of course they could have had something that attracted the ghost, but nobody could look at Phantom and think non sentient. 

Now the question was, why?

Bruce sat down in one of the chairs on the other side of the table from Phantom. Clark had a moment’s pause before he joined them. Bruce pulled out a tablet from underneath his cape and laid it carefully out on the table, turning it on. At this point most people in the room with the Batman would have started getting nervous, but evidently not Phantom. He was still just passively defiant, not to mention he hadn’t yet said a word.

“Phantom, is that your preferred manner of address?” Bruce decided to start out neutral. 

There was a glitter of amusement in green eyes and the barest uptick of his lips, but he remained silent. Bruce could do silence. 

The silence stretched between them until Clark broke it.

“Why do you destroy those bases?”

Phantom glanced to Clark and his earnest question, then back to Bruce, barely raising an eyebrow, like as if to say “really, this the best you can do?” Bruce resisted the urge to sigh. Clark was usually a better foil for him at interrogations, but then most people didn’t choose total silence.

Bruce decided to be frank with him.

“We are trying to understand your motivation. That’s all.” He studied Phantom’s face which had settled into a stony glare. “But first I’d just like to know if it’s alright to call you Phantom and what your pronouns are? We have been using he/him based on your appearance but you might have another preference?”

The glare softened a bit and for a moment Bruce actually thought he’d lured a response out of him, but Phantom just looked away. Incidentally drawing attention to the line at his throat. A sudden thought occurred to him.

“Are you so hurt, that you’re unable to speak?”

Phantom slowly looked back at him. He seemed to actually be contemplating giving some sort of answer.

That’s when his comm clicked on barely audible.

“The GIW has been in contact,” Diana informed him quietly over the comms. Phantom stiffened across from him, his gaze narrowing like a cat - so they could add enhanced hearing to his powers. “They are requesting we hand over Phantom.”

Bruce looked straight at Phantom as he spoke, “They have no jurisdiction in space. I presume you declined?”

“Of course.”

Phantom’s face turned unreadable for a moment. His gaze went from him, to Superman and the opaque glass that hid the observation room. Finally he huffed. 

“Phantom, he/him is fine.” His voice had an echoey quality to it. 

It seemed they were finally going somewhere. 

-

They were not going somewhere. 

Even hours later Phantom kept up his silence. They’d held several breaks. Phantom had been offered food and water but had declined nonverbally. 

They were going in circles, trying the same questions again and again. Prolonged silence didn’t help any either. 

If only J’onn was an option, but he was already suffering from psychic backlash from trying to go into Phantom’s mind during the fight. 

So far the only things Bruce could add to the certain facts were that Phantom was sentient, intelligent and didn’t like the GIW to the point that he would commit mass murder to take them down. 

And Bruce would just really like to know why? Because with the kinds of powers he’d shown off he could have easily killed the members of the Justice League sent to apprehend him. He seemed to have no qualms about killing, yet he’d stayed his hands?

Bruce had hoped that meant Phantom considered them at least somewhat neutral in this conflict. But apparently not neutral enough to talk to. 

Clark had tried and Diana had tried. Nothing helped. 

Bruce was considering his options, when the door opened. 

“B, I need to speak with you.” That was Tim, he looked pale. Something had happened. Bruce got up, Clark following. Bruce decidedly ignored the sudden curiosity from Phantom. They closed the door and walked down the hall. When Bruce felt they were far enough from Phantom he stopped.

“Red Robin, report.”

“We’ve lost contact with Hood.”

Bruce’s heart dropped cold into his stomach. No. It couldn’t be. 

“When?”

“Two hours ago is when he last checked in. He’s since missed several check-ins.” Tim’s hands tightened into fists at his sides. “Could be he’s just not in a position to respond, or they have scramblers in the base.”

It was likely, in fact very likely that was the case with how secretive the GIW were being, but two hours were a long time to miss check-ins. Clark’s hand landed on his shoulder which he only now realized how tense was, but no, now was not the time to relax or calm down. He shrugged Clark’s hand off and stalked back down the hall.

The GIW were mum about any details. There was only one person who could tell them what Jason was facing in that building.

He burst into the interrogation room and slammed his hands on the table. That got Phantom’s attention his eyes widening before narrowing and his lips splitting in a snarl that showed off fangs, but Bruce sneered right back.

“We lost contact with an agent sent to infiltrate a GIW-base, you will tell me what you know about them, or so help me I will make you wish you stayed in that dimension you came from.”

“Batman, please, maybe you should step out-“ Clark began good hand hovering shy of Bruce, but he was interrupted by the bark of laughter coming from Phantom.

And then he laughed and laughed and laughed. 

Bruce punched him. Clark pulled him back. 

Phantom slowly turned his head back to look at them, working his jaw. 

“There we have it after all. Your true colors: attacking a chained up captive.” He wiggled his fingers drawing attention to the wide thick cuffs dwarfing his wrists. His eyes held only cold judgment. “But don’t worry, Batman, your agent has nothing to fear from the GIW unless they are dead.”

Bruce couldn’t help the flinch and he felt Clark do the same. Something in the very air stilled then, making it hard to breathe. 

“You,” Phantom began standing up, right out of the restraints as if they weren’t there, “are going to explain to me what that reaction means…“ He carefully put his hands down on the table and leaned forward in a way that made it very apparent he was holding himself back. He glared holes into Bruce’s skull with blazing green eyes. “Unless you want your agent back in pieces.”

-

Psssst. this is actually the beginning of the fic where this is from (CW: relatively graphic aftermath of vivisection)

So basically Phantom is public enemy number one, or at least top of the US government and GIW's shit list XD Huh, "Wanted: Dead or Alive", might actually be a pretty fun title, what do you guys think?

[wolfofansbach]

BEING A LIST OF THE THIRTEEN GREATEST RIVERDALE LINES, ON THE OCCASION OF THAT SHOW'S TERMINATION

As our much loved/hated show comes to an end, I feel compelled to record, for posterity, the greatest thirteen pieces of dialogue to spring from the pens of RAS and his henchmen. It was, of course, originally a top ten list, but I simply could not exclude a few of these treasures. Without further ado: 

13. 

“I dropped out in the 4th grade, to sell drugs, to support my nana.” 

“That means you haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football.” 

Spoken by: an inmate of Leopold and Loeb Juvenile Detention Center, and Archie Andrews. 

In: 3 x 2 

Yeah, okay, this one had to be on the list. It’s funny, I’ll admit. It’s a great example of the overwrought semi-sincere melodrama that helped make this show so special. It’s low on the list largely because The Normies got their hands on it, so every time I hear someone make a reference I get all “do not cite the deep magic to me, witch.” 

12. 

“No! No! What are we supposed to do now? I’m horny as heck!”

Spoken by: Archie Andrews 

In: 7 x 16

Season 7 is undeniably dreadful, and yet there are diamonds in the rough. The occasion is the failure of a projector, just as Archie and Reggie prepare to watch a pornographic film. The utter desperation with which KJ Apa delivers this line is exquisite. One is made to feel they are witnessing a genuine tragedy. 

11. 

“Tonight, they’re making an exception and debuting a cover of the song my parents claim they were listening to the night Jason and I were conceived.” 

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom. 

In: 1 x 1 

Really a fantastic line. A wonderful encapsulation of the casual absurdity of Cheryl’s character, and a foretaste of the lunacy we would plumb in later episodes and seasons. 

10. 

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in and I don’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.” 

Spoken by: Jughead Jones

In: 1 x 10

A genuine classic. “High school football” before “high school football.” One is never entirely sure just how sincere the line is meant to be, both on a meta-level and in-universe. A perfect illumination of Jughead’s pretentiousness. It is made all the better by the occasional cuts to Lili Reinhard’s agonized face. 

9. 

“At the last dance, multiple students were murdered.” 

Spoken by: Principal Holden Honey. 

In: 4 x 2

Delivered as an explanation to Toni and Cheryl, as to why there would be no school dance this year. Principal Honey is in fact supremely rational in the cancellation of this dance. This being Riverdale, he is of course treated as an unreasonable tyrant. 

8. 

“Bro, I know all the secrets of this universe.” 

Spoken by: Archie Andrews (evil version)

In: 6 x 5 

Spoken as evil Archie reveals his evil plan to keep the parallel universes apart. KJ Apa’s delivery once again makes this line. He is comically sinister. Strangely, he sells it. 

7. 

“A Vughead kiss, right now, in the present might be precisely what it takes to save a future Bughead from imploding.” 

Spoken by: Jughead Jones. 

In: 2 x 14

One of those lines that both makes me laugh and makes me genuinely angry. This was a fairly early season, and this may have actually been the first line to get me asking, ‘did they genuinely write and deliver that?’ Extra points for use of the atrocious ‘Vughead’ portmanteau ship name rather than ‘Jeronica.’ 

6. 

“I’m the ultimate wild card. I am the daughter of The Black Hood. The nightmare from next door. I’m training with the FBI and I’m coming for you, you psycho bitch.” 

Spoken by: Betty Cooper

In: 4 x 14 

Just delicious. Another one of those lines that leaves you somewhat unsure whether or not the writers understood how genuinely hysterical it was. “The Nightmare from Next Door” sounds like an announcer hyping up a wrestler. Spoken with a raw sincerity by Lili Reinhart. Also points for the heavy homoeroticism between Betty and Donna. 

5. 

“For I am Cheryl Blossom, Queen of the Bees.” 

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom.

In: 5 x 16. 

This one really doesn’t require any elaboration. 

4. 

“Elijah ascended…and I will, too.” 

Spoken by: Edgar Evernever.

In: 4 x 5. 

Admittedly, this one is only spectacular with context. But in context—the context being that Chad Michael Murray delivers this line while dressed like Evel Knievel and standing in a cartoon rocket right out of a Warner Bros cartoon—it becomes utterly magnificent. 

3. 

“It’s not queer baiting, it’s saving the world.” 

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge. 

In: 6 x 22. 

It’s actually hard for me to decide whether this one is funnier with or without context. Without context it’s wonderful, but it possibly becomes even funnier when you know that the context is that Veronica needs to kiss Cheryl to transfer superpowers into her body so she can turn into a Scarlet Witch knock-off and stop a magic comet summoned by Sephiroth an English wizard who is also the Devil. 

2. 

“If there’s no wedding reception, it means the Gargoyle King has won.” 

Spoken by: Kevin Keller. 

In: 3 x 12.

One of my personal favorites. This is a perfect line because like #3, it requires no real elaboration. There is absolutely no context in which it isn’t hysterical. 

1 .

“Word of my exploits serving Nick his comeuppance has seeped into the demimonde of mobsters and molls my father used to associate with, so the five families are sending their youngest and brightest, their ‘princes,’ as it were to, well, come court the rare Mafia Princess who can belly up to the bar with the big boys.

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge. 

In: 2 x 20. 

This is, in my opinion, the all-timer. Every word is perfect. The rapid-fire alliteration. The use of the word ‘demimonde.’ The entirely unnecessary addition of ‘as it were.’ This is borderline Dr. Seuss. The fact that Camila Mendes delivered it without cracking a smile should have won her an Emmy. No. An Oscar. This line is Riverdale. 

[tackykachowch]

Silco was set up to be Fishbones from the start

Disclaimer: I won't take season 2 into account At All, because it can't work with setups and payoffs even if its life depends on it.

Alrighty. As we've seen Season 1 paid a lot of attention to set up canon things from LoL into the show as naturally and logically as possible, and at least from my point of view, it handled the job with flying colors. Jayce's hammer, Vi's gauntlets, Vander/Warwick etc, nothing felt out of place. But how does Silco fit into this at all? Let's get down to business to defeat the huns

First of all, what even is Fishbones? In the canon of LoL, it's one of if not the most iconic weapon Jinx has. And it is not only a weapon to her, but a loyal and "beloved" companion, as it's described in one of her skins. She constantly talks to it, and in contrast to her chaotic and impulsive nature, Fishbones is very pragmatic and calm. Sounds like a certain someone, doesn't it? But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

But how does Silco go from being Jinx's father to one of her weapons? There are a lot of points that support that actually, I was surprised myself ngl.

- Silco is the only character in the entire series who is directly and tightly connected to water and underwater creatures. Silco was "reborn" in the water when Vander tried to kill him, the first office he had was placed under the water, with a huge observational window. Silco is also fond of underwater creatures, and while other people call and see them as monsters, Silco pays no attention to it, as he thinks that there's "a monster inside all of us". And here's Fishbones, who is designed after a shark, arguably the most famous "underwater monster". But what is more interesting is that it debuted is the finale of season 1, which is titled "The monster you created". Quite a throughline there.

- Silco was the reason behind Fishbones' creation in the first place. While it does seem that it all started with Jinx, who stole the hex gemstone on the Progress Day, we also need to remember WHY she did it. She did it to impress Silco specifically, to make him to be proud of her. This want was triggered by her screwing up the smuggling mission earlier that day, and while Silco didn't scold her for it much and only advised her to rest for a bit, she saw this as him thinking that she's weak. So, after all of this Silco asks Jinx to make a weapon with the use of gemstone. Not necessarily to use it against Piltover, but to have it as a wild card if his plans go wrong. Jinx agrees and attempts to reverse engineer it, but it triggers her memories when she killed Mylo and Claggor with her bomb, so she tells Silco that she can't do it. He then goes to the river he was nearly killed in with her, and "baptises" her to help her let go of her fear of pain. This seemed to have worked, at least for a little while, because she managed to finish the weapon. So, in conclusion: Fishbones' creation was triggered by Jinx's want to impress Silco, and he helped her with its creation on every step of the way.

- this point is somewhat meta, but I'll use it anyway. In previously mentioned episode 9 Silco tells Jinx that everybody around them betrays them, and they have only each other to love and lean on. He says, quote: "Everyone betrays us, Jinx. Vander, her. It's only us". At the same time, in LoL Jinx says this line to Fishbones: "It's just you and me, Fishbones!". Well.....it's certainly a callback if I've seen one. Like- it's not even funny. They couldn't have written this line on accident.

- now onto the most interesting part for me personally. We all now that there are no accidents in animation, like. At all. Even if there are this is extremely rare, as every frame is created intentionally. Now, we do now that there are quite. A few discrepancies between writers and animators of arcane, but I don't think this applies in this particular case. Now onto the actual point. So, in the finale of season 1 Jinx kills Silco, and it's shown to us like this.

He's turned with right side ("human") of his face to the camera, while the left side ("monster") side is hidden.

As Jinx fires Fishbones at the council

It's positioned with its right side to the camera, which alignes with Silco's "monster eye". Also, Fishbone's eye has a black scar pattern around its eye, which again, resembles Silco's damadged eye. That could mean that Silco is once again "reborn", and now continues to live on in the monster Jinx created.

And here comes the most awesome part in all of this. When Silco adopts Powder, he hugs her and tells her

Do you see how the frame is positioned? Exactly. It is exactly the same framing scene with Jinx and Fishbones has. And, most importantly, when Jinx pulls the trigger, we hear the exactly same line on the background: "We will show them all". It simultaneously shows: that Jinx's attack on the council is her way of dealing with grief of killing Silco; her way of honoring Silco's fight against Piltover; and a direct transition of Silco into Fishbones. Although he's dead in body, but Jinx's memories of him and his voice now continue to live in Fishbones, her new eternal companion.

I am at awe with the fundamental work that's been done with this setup, and although s2 never followed up on this, I still can get enjoyment from the clear intent creators put here originally.

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello awesome readers and lovely fandom :) Best part of my week has arrived once again. Our Mid-Week goodness. Well mid-week for me lol Hard to believe we're 3 away from the season ending already.... Insane to think we're at this point. The documentary eps are always so split in how they are received. I personally have always loved them. Usually really funny and produce amazing Chenford content.

If nothing else for people who don't like them we get that. Which we still got in this one. It came in a form I wasn't expecting. But this season as I've said before has been a wild card. It's been giving and unexpected this entire time. Which I really do appreciate. s7 has been one for the books for the most part. Said this before with longer seasons though we do tend to forget is there are more filler-like ones along the way. This one felt more so than others have this year. Other than the Chenford in this ep it wasn't my fav. Not gonna lie.

Honestly once they were no longer a factor in this episode I lost interest tbh. Which was a first for me this season. Because I have been loving the ensemble of it all this year. Even with 7x10 and 7x13 which weren't my fav all around other SL's kept me engaged. They missed the mark with this one in terms of a whole episode. Coming off 'Double Trouble.' being our last one they had a lot to live up to and didn't. But I'll get into that more in my side notes. Lets dig into the ship moments we did get shall we?

7x15 A Deadly Secret

We hit the ground running with our ship. Lucy looking adorable and excited per usual with these. Tim being classic Tim. Not wanting to be here in the least. Their usual M.O. for these kinds of eps. Some things never change haha It was pretty Meta of Alexi to mention them as his 'Favorite' couple heh We are the most-loved and go-to of the ships on the show. Forever grateful for this fact. We all know they are but this was a fun little nod to that. And it having it be Alexi say it made me happy I will say.

Tim barking at him to keep it professional. Seconds after doing this he is already over it LOL The death glare only he can give so well had me cackling. I loved the shots between him and this dude. The way they pan to Tim then to him and back to Tim. Had me laughing so much. Eric the master of expressions crushing it here. He always pushes Tim's buttons and regrets it. I love him effectively killing his questioning with just a look. Getting a defeated 'Sorry. Moving on.' reply in return. Oh Tim Bradford I love you so.

What I always love about these types of episodes are the shared looks. That silent communication on display for all to see. They showcase their chemistry without even realizing they're doing so. It's why this guy loves them the most. They exude it without knowing they're even doing so. It’s in the way they instinctively touch base with each other first, a unspoken check-in that says more than words ever could. Gah I love it sfm. The shared looks up above being a great example of this.

Eric and Melissa do it so well. I don't know how they do it, but I'm deeply thankful these two actors embody this ship. It's more like they're talking to each other more so than the camera or this director. In their own world. It's the little things I always appreciate with them. They barely give the crew eye contact. Just look at them. More engaged with each other than the people around them. Also can't say I hate Tim's posture in the very beginning of this. Hello sexy forearm happy to see you.

This scene proving Lucy is and forever will be the exception for Tim. We may have a more open and emotionally available Tim this season, but not when it comes to this. I was wondering if they were going to lean into that with this but they didn't. I'm pretty ok with that. He is willing to change and be that for her but no one else. No one that isn't someone of importance to him or has a real place in his life I should say.

He opened up to John in 7x07 about Lucy which was massive progress. But Lucy is going to be the main beneficiary of that change more than anyone else. So with that being said he's not going to do that with this crew. Especially when it's just to exploit them and their feelings. Does crack me up he says he'll just ask Rachel later.... Dude just wants to know what happened with them. Get in line bub. The entire station wants to know the answer to that question. You will have to wait good sir.

I love this scene for couple reasons. The main one just being Tim looking at her while she speaks. The admiration and reverence makes my shipper heart skip a beat. Nodding along as she does so. The man says so much with just a look. I mean he always looks at her intently whenever she speaks in these. Which I adore on so many levels. But just has an added level with his eyes extra soft while he watches her tear them a new one.

Which leads me to the second I enjoyed this bit. Lucy just telling them like it is. She has gotten a lot less star struck with these since s4. Not afraid to let her rip so to speak. Telling them their theory is outlandish. That the actions of these people are their own not inspired by anything else. Love our girl.

This is where it really gets good. It was mainly crumbs before this moment. I was excited once we reached here and Tim said ‘I hate making mistakes in front of you.’ I knew we were in for some goodness. Oh my lord. Now they may be high af here but there is truth behind their statements regardless. That line of his. *heart clutch* I said this last year in my 6x07 review and analysis of Tim. How he holds himself to a higher standard and didn’t want to fail in front of Lucy because of it. For her to think less of him when he does.

Because in his mind, mistakes equal failure, and he’s afraid of being anything less than enough in her eyes. Which, as we all know, she’s never seen him in that light. He consistently forgets she saw him at his dumpster fire worst and didn't think it then. But as someone who also struggles with that myself it's not as easy as just telling him that. This is how they figure out they are drugged though. Because all season Tim has been meeting Lucy where she is at. Respecting her boundaries and only sharing what he felt was appropriate to in the moment.

This is clearly a subconscious thing he is letting slip out due to the drugs. A deep rooted fear of his he's felt for years coming out without his consent. For Lucy to see him as less than through his mistakes. I love her soft 'Oh, you've never admitted that before.' Getting a little insight into the man before her in a way she didn't have before. This felt like a preview of a convo to be had later IMO. Their need to have a serious convo literally rising to the surface in this moment.

Tim can feel this and it's why he tries to stop them from talking any further. If they're going to have a serious talk he want to be sober for it. I too would like this lol My soul longs for it really. He's also worried something is going to come out they're gonna have to deal with later. Which does happen... High Lucy can't help herself though. haha I love her starting off with something hilarious though. Asking what his most embarrassing memory is?

Tim doesn't take more than a second to reply. This stuff must be so potent for him to just drop knowledge like this. It's an adorable story about baby Tim. I adore him loving his hamster so much he took it to school with him. Snuck it in. I cannot. My damn heart. Lucy's laughter makes my soul lighter. Clearly thrilled with the answer she got from him about it. I would love to know what happened during all that fast-forwarding. The random convos they must've had.

How and why did she let her hair down? Looks like Tim maybe helped her do this? It went so fast I couldn't tell. I seriously wanna know how we ended up at the convo below. My guess is Lucy's questions got more serious for us to end up there. Or Tim couldn't stop from spilling his guts. A common theme with his relationship with Lucy let's be honest. He's never been able to stop her from extracting things from him that he would never tell anyone else. Her Tim superpower.

This felt like my 6x07 review come to life I have to say. Delighted me to no end. All the things I said in my analysis of Tim last year. Of why he did he what he did. To shed light on the meaning of it all, for a fandom emotionally struggling to understand the root cause of it all. Also because I felt it was something that absolutely needed to be acknowledged and shared. Now even though he's saying it because he's high, it doesn't make it any less satisfying to hear. He has learned something about himself. About why he does things the way he does. Which is a game changer. It shows that therapy has helped Tim grow into this version of himself. Big time. To realize all the things he didn't when he was going through it all during 6x06-6x07. I'm so proud I could cry. Saying things I dreamed about him putting together.

Then telling Lucy one day when he was ready to share it, and she was ready to hear it. Here we are with him sharing all that. What he shares next is growth I have legit longed about him having. Tim saying he internalized all his dad did to him. It was the message he had been fed his entire life: that failure equaled punishment. And without him there to inflict it, Tim punished himself instead. My broken boy. Telling himself he deserved to be punished for failing with Ray. So he did so by breaking up with her. By taking away the one good thing in his life. In his eyes, she represented the highest form of penance for actions he couldn’t even begin to understand himself at the time. This is so big fandom. Because in 6x07 he had zero idea or awareness surrounding this.

Tim found himself at a loss when Blair raised the topic back then; he couldn’t quite make sense of his own actions. At the time he didn’t think about that. Because all he could think was he wasn’t worthy and that was it. So for him to be at this place now is massive. To me maybe this is another shake up. What I mean by that is Lucy was reserved af towards him till the 7x08 confession occurred. The experience left a deep impact on her, and over time, she became more open to Tim and his efforts to change. To make it up to her. This could be the wake up call they both need to finally have their reconciliation convo following this. There is going to be residual emotions after this even if we don't see right in this moment.

Lucy even though she is high as a kite is putting together what happened. Getting clarity for the first time since he left her in that parking lot back in 6x06. It feels SOOOO good for her to finally hear this. Now was this the medium I was expecting this to happen in? God no. Of course not. This season continues its wild card ways, and if it leads to another real convo later on, I’m down. May not be the way we wanted this to start BUT it is huge progress. Because even though there are drugs involved prompting this. These are real feelings coming out. Real confessions. I did love him saying it was kinda flattering right?

Basically telling Lucy she's the best thing that ever happened to him. The one person who made him happier than anything else. *sigh* That losing her was the worst thing he could've done to himself. Essentially telling her she's the love of his life and the biggest thing he could've lost as punishment. LOVE Lucy's reply. It's everything I've wanted her to say to him since it happened. But as we all know he wasn't ready for this convo back then. He is now. Which is exciting as hell. And why Lucy laying it out that he didn't just punish himself when he broke them up. The hurt etched on her face guts me.

It punished her too. Took away her agency. Took him away. She was struck and deeply wounded by the emotional shrapnel he unleashed on them. That she became collateral damage in his attempt to outrun his failures and inflict punishment on himself. I've said this before and I'll keep saying it. I love that they continuously bring up the impact it had on her. That it is a wound that isn't to be ignored or have faded into the background. It is front and center until this is really talked out. Will that happen? Is this it? Idk tbh this season like I've said has been a wild card. What I do hope is that is prompts a deeper convo and reconciliation. My gut feels like it will but we shall see. Beauty of these first impressions. The analysis and guessing game.

Tim saying 'I know.' I'll never be over him owning what he did to her. Makes me so happy. Look at my boy all grown up. So proud. This is SO incredibly necessary for them to move past this. For her to hear this. To witness he is so painfully aware of what he did to her. How he blew it with the love of his life and knows it. Tim is willing to just live with what he gets now with his follow up reply. Because he is still punishing himself in some form. Still not thinking he is worthy of her forgiveness fully. But being ok with that possibility. This is him coming to terms with the fate he created for himself. Now her reply is what makes me think they'll have another convo. If only to explain what she confesses to him. And her second almost confession inside it. (I'll explain that in a second)

Because just like Tim she slips up about something she's been holding close to her chest. That she's forgiven him. It's her 'It's not even-' that gets me. The second almost confession. What do I think this means? I believe she was going to say 'It's not even that.' I think it comes down to another issue for her. Trust. She wants SO badly to trust him emotionally again like that but hasn't gotten there. She has professionally in so many ways. She's forgiven him but it's the trusting him with her heart again where she is stuck. Which is why I think she giggles and is like 'Naww that isn't it. It's something else.' and then cuts herself off.... Too shocked by her previous confession to finish that train of thought. It sobers her a tad and explain her 'When did that happen?' comment.

Now the forgiveness when did that happen? I might have a better in depth answer when I do this for my master list. But for now I mean I feel like her actions in the last few episodes have screamed she had. Like I said in 7x14. Her emotionally opening up and leaning on him again was a sign. Folding immediately into him for their hug like she did in 6x04. Another big one. Her replies in 7x11 were a neon sign. It's been a slow development since 7x08. The whole season really but 'Wildfire' really kicked it off. I think the 7x08 confession dislodged her quite a bit. That and Tim’s consistent showing up for her. Praising her, building her up and just being emotionally available is what sealed the deal here.

I do love her cute giggle when she says it. Like it's supposed to be common knowledge to Tim she has done this. Like of course I forgave you already don't you know? I love you, you idiot. Why do you keep wondering if I will? Her follow up is classic to the giggling. 'Huh. I wonder when that happened?' Shocking even herself. This is going to require a follow up convo to their reconciliation I think. Just a gut feeling. I know nothing of what is to pass even if I had the chance to I wouldn't look. lol Just a feeling. Also I must note how amazing she looks with her hair down in uniform. Never thought I'd see the day lol But she is crushing it.

Is this whole thing going to spawn another real talk? Will it prompt Tim to follow his own 7x07 advice and fight for her? I hope so. It feels unfinished for the reasons I gave above. This reconciliation has been a slow burn. Just like their build up to being together was. Once I was on the other side of that I was so happy it was done that way. It'll be the same way with this. Because of course it's going to take a slow burn to reconciliation. Very on brand for Chenford. Also just mature writing which I love. Now If that is it for the adult convo Idk how I feel about that in full yet. Need to sit on that longer. That's more reserved for post-season. There was a lot of good stuff in it, but once the next three episodes unfold, I’m sure I’ll have a better answer, especially this summer when I dive in deeper into this ep.

But to me it feels like we have one more emotional hurdle to jump before reconciliation IMO. Other than the Sergeant Exam. What I can tell you is Lucy is in a much better place now than she has been all season with the scene above. Why you ask? Her non-verbal reply to being asked if she didn't mean what she said? All season she has denied everything. Vehemently. Been firm about it. She did this in 7x06 with the guy at the booth, after they slept together and claiming just 'ex-sex.' Distancing herself from the emotion. In 7x08 even on fire couldn't say she still loved him back verbally. Fought that too. Watched her internal struggle to accept his compliment in 7x11. Created an emotional boundary in 7x12 to avoid the emotions she feels for this man. Funny thing is all those things she fought led to this.

Here when asked if she didn't mean what she said then? Lucy stumbles....Not only that but looks at Tim and can't refute it. Her reaction is reply enough. Knowing she meant everything she said in that convo. Reminds me of towards the end s4 Lucy. Where her facade to keep her feelings about Tim inside were an absolute farce. Also look at Tim's SOFT eyes when she does. It's the most emotion we see in these interviews. Hoping against hope she meant everything she said. Director then ruins it with his follow up about the babies names LMFAO WHAT?! When did they have this convo? Was it before or after the confessions? I need to know.

My guess is before? Maybe it's what led to them having that talk? Idk but their in-sync refusal to stay had me dying. 'Why do we keep agreeing to do these?' I'm cackling. They are flying out of there so fast. Lucy all but squeaking out in panic 'Excuse Me?!' Too funny. Also they aren't going to have that convo on camera. Took us all season to get to this point and they had to be drugged to get there hahaha Wasn't what I was expecting but hasn't been all season in a good way. One of their themes. Now I did wonder if this was going to prompt a talk for them so I was somewhat right on that guess. heh

Next week looks GOOOOD. I called Seth crawling his way back in. Idk HOW he did but I knew if anyone could it would be him. Tim and Lucy look like they're all but vibrating with rage with his return. Feral Tim reporting for duty. Gimme all that.

Nolan sure tries to come off scary and somewhat fails. But he's sure going to give it best. I will give him that. Gonna have his hands full. If they wanted him to wash out and shit his pants immediately should've gone with TIm. But that is a conflict of interest because of Lucy and being involved in his firing. Also not fair to Miles and his training.

I loved what Tim said about Seth finding another way of washing out again. I mean the weather service thing never came to light from Wildfire. I could see that coming back to bite him in the ass. It was far more than just the "cancer" that could've fired him. Shall see how it goes down. Thank you to the wonderful people who like, comment ( these are my fav not gonna lie haha)and reblog these. You make doing this so joyful. Shall see you all in 7x16 :)

~~~~

Side Notes-Non Chenford

Bummed because I usually like the Documentary ones. Also they have been killing it with the ensemble side of it all year and this one just didn't land for me. Other than Chenford was probably my least fav of the season. Never got going IMO and felt off and disjointed. Also Rodge made an appearance and he is not my fav lol Miles could've easily replaced his scenes but that's just me.

Appreciate another s2 callback with her but It felt like a missed opportunity. Like her and Henry broke up. That's sad why no explanation of any kind? Were they too young? Clashing wants in life? When did this happen? Was hoping that ending scene with John would've given us a little clarity but no. Felt very lack luster in what it could've been. They're always cooky but have a good tie in and they had tie ins but idk just fell flat for me. But onto the next tis but a small blip in the season.

[utilitycaster]

re: the top 5 books ask, here's what I didn't include but all of this could go on this list.

Math and Physics: Wonders of Numbers (Clifford Pickover)/Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman (Richard Feynman)/The Elegant Universe (Brian Greene) were all awards or graduation presents in middle and high school; one is a bunch of wild math puzzles, one is a (very funny) memoir of a legendary physicist; and one is an exploration of a then very hot theoretical physics theory, and it's interesting to consider how all of them shaped me.

why I as a math/physics person am also an avid meta writer:Hyperspace (Michio Kaku) and How To Write Science Fiction and Fantasy (Orson Scott Card) - Kaku is a physicist as well but writes for the layman, and Hyperspace is about extradimensional physics but also provides a huge list of fictional explorations, which is why I'm pairing it with How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy. Look I cannot vouch for Card as a person given the Mormon Homophobia but this book was absolutely formative, I read it very young (not long after Ender's Game, actually), and I do recommend pirating it because I inherited a great deal of my understanding of narratology and good writing from it, and it introduced me to some of my favorite less problematic writers. These books also serve as "introduction to a billion fucked up sf short stories I read in high school"; just copy down every fictional work they mention and read as many as you can.

Medicine, healthcare, neuroscience, and the human element: The works of Oliver Sacks/The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down (Anne Fadiman)/The Checklist Manifesto (Atul Gawande) - I think I would not have been as happy as a physician, but I also think had a few things gone slightly differently in my life (notably, having a high school bio teacher who was competent and whom I did not detest) I might have been pushed in that direction, and as I'm in other more peripheral spaces in healthcare, these are still very important books in terms of how I think.

Cookbooks: How to Cook Everything Vegetarian (Mark Bittman) and Salt Fat Acid Heat (Samin Nosrat) - I'm a pretty good cook and Bittman's is the first cookbook I owned as an adult (I am not vegetarian but I was in my first ever apartment, as I keep kosher and therefore having two sets of dishes and buying kosher meat was prohibitively expensive as a grad student, at least if I also wanted to like, go out for drinks or pizza on occasion). Salt Fat Acid Heat is much more recent but I think that's what really freed me from needing cookbooks and instead thinking about cooking more by experience.

Childhood formative books, especially in fantasy: A Barrel of Laughs, A Vale of Tears (Jules Pfeiffer)/The Phantom Tollbooth (Norton Juster)/the general works of Diana Wynne Jones, Ellen Raskin, and Elizabeth Enright. A taste for the weird/mythical/fractured fairy tales.

Teen/Adult formative books in sf: Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell (Susana Clarke)/The Belgariad (David Eddings)/Wild Seed (Octavia Butler)/Old Kingdom series (Garth Nix)/I, Robot (Isaac Aasimov)/The City and the City (China Mieville) - teens and adulthood formative books in sf and fantasy. The lessons learned here, in order, respectively: find the intersection of mythology and academia and if you're doing pastiche do it impeccably; if you're not original, be funny and kind to your characters (still throw rocks at them but treat them as people); with that said be original and as weird as you fucking want; write a woman who is incredibly good at what she does and build a deeply compelling world around her; no really write a woman who is incredibly good at what she does and build a deeply compelling world around her and also stupid puns are okay; get weird, play with genre, and don't hold your audience's hand.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Just want to thank you for all of this glorious meta! It's kinda crazy to read your pics and go, well this is an EXPERIENCE, and then come to your tumblr and see all those tiny little things that haven't really been addressed yet or you've wondered about? Well, no, actually the author has an extremely detailed world building for why it's like this, they simply have the restraint to not put it in their fic! Absolutely wild.

Like, I was kind of wondering reading pez WHY izuku and 1-a was so famous. And why aizawa is so tired. Like, surely it can't just be Main Character Gravitational Pull in action?? But no, I unknowingly triggered the authors trap card—actually having fully detailed world building that hasn't been inserted into your fic yet, because it hasn't been relevant or necessary. I feel like I tripped on a rock and discovered a gold vein.

(this applies to nhthcth too. I thought Jon claimed desks, badgered people to quit, and got a virus email address out of pettiness, and also the faint hope of saving a person maybe. And probably yes to all of that, but also he's been actively attempting to figure out that dumb contract.)

All this to say, thanks for all this meaty meta! Your readers are eating good.

I’m this close to just saying “fuck it”’and writing the Battle of Yokohama because I love the backstory that much. It’s just filled with so many good moments. I’m trying to resist because if I write that backstory I’m gonna feel compelled to write the rest of them. I have one for Mirio getting his license (that I actually am the most likely to write out of all of them) and one explaining why Dabi left the League that I simply do not have time to write. But maybe the Yokohama and Mirio ones. I’m just eternally succumbing to the desire to make my fics series and I need to pump the breaks on it. Pez was supposed to be the story that I could freely cram in backstory like an overstuffed turkey but even I can’t bring myself to do it if it’s 1) too big of a divergence/not relevant to what’s going on or 2) not the right POV to bring out the information through.

There are some moments from the Battle of Yokohama that have already come out (Shinsou talking about how he watched Izuku bite a man’s ear off once? Battle of Yokohama. And obviously the times where it was explicitly referenced in a post are about that fight) or will come out in pez, so I haven’t talked about them on tumblr, but there’s so many fantastic moments that just wouldn’t be right to present in the fic. I’m so tempted. It’s such a fun story.

But yeah. I wanted the overwhelming attention on Izuku & Co. because I wanted Tiny Izuku to just be. Crushed by the sheer size of him when he found out what happened. Izuku is one of the most famous and beloved people out there, and he’s just a deku. How could he expect anyone to give a shit about this guy killing him? Everyone already wants him dead so he’ll stop being a burden—this guy made his death matter.

But I needed a reason for them to be as stupidly famous as they are. So I decided class 2a just had like. The most ridiculous two weeks of their life in their second year. Part of the reason why they’re not super aware of what made them famous was that so much goddamn stuff happened in that two week span. There’s a lot to pick from. The Sports Festival. Bakugou getting his first meme and also a medically induced coma. Suddenly everyone wants to fight Izuku about Mirio even more now and he is always down to fight for his boy. Oh fuck oh fuck time to have like ninety near death experiences and an extended hospitalization. Huh why is Mr. Aizawa unplugging the WiFi router and confiscating the tv. It’s probably nothing.

And Jon. Oh I love him. He’s just a rat in an electrified maze trying to figure out why all the doors are zapping him. He’s so tragic to me.

Thank you for your kind words!! I really appreciate you!

[hithelleth]

I got into Wild Cards. It's on The CW, so I'm not expecting much, but it's light and fun as well as having deep and serious moments and I like several things:

the fabulous kick-ass Max played by Vanessa Morgan,

Marc the cutest little gremlin kitty!

Jason Priestley who ages very very well as Max's dad, and

whether it was done intentionally as a nod to Grey's or not, the fact they named Giacomo's character Cole Ellis. (I also like him, of course.)

If/until it stays this kind of show I can unwind with, I intend to keep watching.

[riacte]

subjective + critical (NOT CRITICISM) wild life thoughts (no spoilers for winner, spoilers for finale gimmick)

Sorry for being back again. Anyways after watching Wild Life, I came to the conclusion that it's very... Grian. THIS IS NOT A BAD THING. In a way, it's always been very Grian (understandably so because it's his server and he picks the cast)— server wide event that gives everyone an opportunity to be involved, mechanics that toss you around haphazardly, random factor for funsies— I've watched Grian's minigames since HC6 Tag, Demise, etc, and there's a Grian-ness that I can't explain but I feel and recognise with my soul. This isn't Grian crit, I respect him massively for coming up with engaging gimmicks, I loved Demise 1, he definitely changed the scene of Hermitcraft 6, etc.

I previously talked about the experimental nature of Life series and how the emotional investment in Third Life was somewhat unintended. Wild Life is an experiment that's giving the expected results of Third Life— Grian-esque experimental gameshow about hanging out with friends and reacting to insane shit flung at you. The finale gimmick is all of the wild cards (seemingly individually chosen because of fun factor, no wider theme that connects them) together at the same time. It's fun! It's dramatic! It... doesn't have to have a deeper meaning!

Then comes the fandom's Swiftie tendency to connect everything (it's me, I'm the Swiftie), which is an inevitable and fun part of engaging with media. Famously, the LimLife winner symbolism debate. Coincidentally, the first three winners fit into celestial symbols, but it starts to fall apart with Martyn. But we love connecting stuff and making up symbols/blessings/curses, so we stuff Martyn and the following winners in anyway to honour them.

But there comes a point in which hyperanalysing everything sometimes feels like a stretch. This is a natural part of the life cycle I suppose. You can't recatch the lightning of 3L in a bottle, much like how All Stars Blue Bats doesn't hit the same as MCC9 Blue Bats. Wild Life is perfectly entertaining on its own, but to me it feels weird that it's tacked onto the Life series, like it's an afterthought. It has all of the cast so far, we get a lot of nostalgia bait, existing duos, but... it personally, subjectively doesn't feel like The Life Series TM. Like, it sure is A Sequel and Continuation of the plot but it feels like a Beach Episode. It's fun to watch! And... yeah!

And then you start to think. So maybe it's us who've been assigning a lot of Meaning to the first generations of Life series and now with Wild Life, it's finally reached its intended vibe of Fun Experimental Grian Gameshow. I remember someone said "what you're missing in the OG Life series was never there in the first place" and I see that viewpoint, it was like a collective hallucination. I'm gonna spitball if Wild Life was written by the fandom with attempts to "script coherent themes":

Fixed six sessions, first five gimmicks refer to previous five seasons, sixth sessions is every gimmick all at once

Clear "wild life" theme, which would keep the snails and superpowers probably, add possibly Origins, and cast members are encouraged to play into the theme (like BigB this season)

Dice theme, something about rolling 1-6, ties in with people starting with 6 lives

And we got the Gameshow. Individual gimmicks are quirky but don't seem really tied to each other. And there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes you just have a bunch of fun ideas and throw them into a pot. But the fandom expects to have something to work with due to the meta starting from 3L. Even if it doesn't fit perfectly, it's fun to make it fit! That's why we do analyses and symbolism! It's the bread and butter of fandom!

This is where I bring up the Life Seriesification of Hermitcraft, which is probably related in ways I cannot fully explain. The Life series isn't just a fun gameshow, it's a JOB. It brings you clout and views and fandom relevance and fandom propaganda which brings you views and income. The Life hermits have generally become a closed circle, with exceptions like Ren who hangs out the most with non-Lifers. The fandom's desire to connect Life series meta becomes so overwhelming that it seeps into non-Life series stuff, prominently HC, and the non-Life hermits start to get sidelined. Okay, it's more like Life series meta is interesting, so your Lifers become more interesting, so you care about them more, so you care about their HC POVs more. It's a weird reinforcing circle. And if you step out of it for a while (Ren), your clout decreases (Ren), and even when you come back, you kind of.... don't get the same level of mainstream attention anymore even though your personal fanbase is going insane (Ren). (BigB also gets sidelined, although that is a different discussion.)

Anyways it Isn't That Deep and the main reason is probably The Novelty/Interest Is Gone. That and the segmentation of the HC fandom, which I am absolutely guilty of. I don't "need" to post or watch popular POVs because I get to know about them through osmosis anyway. So I end up only "caring" about a few POVs.

I am aware this doesn't make a good deal of sense and I'm sorry for being a party pooper of sorts. This is not criticism, just trying to analyse it through a critical lens.

Life series can keep on being a gameshow. It can be whatever it likes at this point. I'm just sick of it invading Hermitcraft fandom and tilting the balance overwhelmingly in favour of the Life hermits. It's suffocating.

Final reminder to myself, but replace "yourselves" with "Life series fandom":

[whateverthought]

What's your take on people who buy into "Targaryen exceptionalism" and consider Targaryen incest ships less problematic than others?

I'm not very good at articulating myself but I shall do my best!

I understand how easy it can be to fall into it, they're pretty and they have dragons and they have prophetic dreams and dragons and silver hair+purple eyes- a winning combo! But if you look at it, how the in world propaganda is so seeped into our view through the characters' eyes and thoughts and how if you look at real-world ideas that are being reflected back at us, its kinda gross.

Its White Superiority wrapped in Medieval Fantasy, and unfortunately, it falls into the trap of attempting to symbolize bigotry in fantasy settings. There's a post about how its almost impossible to paste real-world racism onto fantasy races because it falls into itself like a stack of cards. It mentions Orcs and Elves and how you can't make a 1 to 1 because you do fall into the mindset. I'm not explaining it right but it doesn't work, because GrrM DID make the Targaryens special. Not as special and with a lot of problems fans don't want to see but still. There ARE moments and points where we are supposed to question the Superiority that's shoved down our throats.

Such as Nettles. Everyone wants to say she HAS to have some dragonblood in her because only Dragonlords can ride dragons but I have to question it. Realistically, how could any non-Targaryen have ever tried? The only time they get the chance is when Rhaenyra calls people to try and claim the Wild Dragons and surprise one does get claimed by a girl so far removed from the Targaryen bloodline it almost seems like a delusion to assume otherwise. But some do assume, because otherwise they have to admit they aren't that special. And we do see some Targaryens who never get dragons, Aemma/Vaegon/Saera/Viserra/Septa Rhaella. Sure, you could argue the women weren't allowed, but what about Vaegon? And what about the 'Dragons Call to their Riders' thing that I don't think I've ever seen in canon?

We know the Targaryens were a minor dragonlord house in Valyria, and it's said, I believe, the Dragonlords were shepherds who used sorcery to create Dragons. A theory. But if its true it would make sense why they're so connected to magic, as the saying 'Magic Died with the Dragons' or whatever and they returned when the Long Night was coming. So maybe they have some latent magic but so do other characters. Magic can be taught, and having latent magic doesn't mean others can't bond with dragons too.

Targaryen Exceptionalism is a lie. The Right of Kings is a hoax. GrrM has went out of his way to disprove the Right of Kings and shows his deep hate for royalty at every chance. Make no mistake, George R.R. Martin does not like the Monarchy. If you read his works and can't see the hate he has for royals and nobility and the rich and the ways in which they hurt the common man, you are not paying attention. In the same book where he introduced the Targaryen Exceptionalism, he disproved every rule we learned.

Now, on the Incest thing. I personally think GrrM has a morbid fascination with it, like people who make horror movies do. That doesn't mean he endorses it, far from it, it seems to me he finds the ways in which it can fuck you up very interesting. Every Incest Ship is fucked up in varying ways and if you don't see it, its because you've fallen for the propaganda. The obvious ones are obvious, but the 'Good' ones? Jaehaerys and Alysanne were 14/15 and 12/13 when they would walk around Dragonstone naked and did things that "weren't technically sex". And when Alysanne didn't want to be have anymore kids? She still kept having them. Weird we don't hear Jaehaerys' side of that. Only Alysanne being oh so tired. Baelon and Alyssa? Well there's this great Meta that really blows things out of the water for me. Rhaenyra and Daemon, everyone's new favorite grooming scandal, aren't that great. They both married AFTER falling for other people and when they died they went back to each other but not before. Sure, Laena and Rhaenyra were friends but if they were this great Polyamorous love story, why were ALL Rhaenyra's bastards Harwin's? And Daemon is said to have cheated constantly and in the end, when Rhaenyra was losing, he ran off with a 16-year-old black girl he groomed and then protected her while he ran off to kill himself by battle. He did not go into that fight wishing to live. Haelena and Aegon II slept in different rooms and seemed to like each other well enough but definitely not in love or even lust. They had their heir and spare and they loved the kids but he left her alone and that's the nicest we get. And who even knows what was happening with Shaera Seastar and the Great Bastards.

I do think its a great place to fall into your Incest Kink if you have one. Though I think people like the taboo of it more than the act itself, so having it be allowed seems less fun and that's why so many want the Romeo and Juliet of Greens Vs Blacks.

[starseneyes]

Part IV - Destiel Meta - Dean Winchester / Castiel - Supernatural

You read Part I, Part II, Part III, and still want to read more of my insane ramblings!? Wow. I think I love you.

This was the wildest Meta I've ever written. And the longest continuous Meta for me, too! I hope someone out there gets a fraction of the enjoyment reading it that I got writing it.

WARNING: These are just my opinions. We all have our own head cannons and I don't think mine's more valid than anyone else's!

SPOILERS: Everything is fair game. I hold nothing back from the series.

Good to go? Yeah, we're good. Let's dive in.

S11E01 -

Oh, goody, the weird Darkness arc where Dean’s supposed to have sexual tension with a woman and it just doesn’t land.

Look, I’ve said before—chemistry is or isn’t. And there are others who I am sure saw Dean and Amara together and were just waiting for them to rip their clothes off and claim one another as the new creation.

I’m just not one of them.

And it’s not the Destiel clouding me. I mean, I’ve seen Dean have some mad chemistry with some of his hookups.

This one just never read as sexual to me… more an incomprehensible drawing of the one who unleashed the Darkness and the Darkness itself.

Oh. My. Gosh. It’s Zuul and Vinz from Ghostbusters. Like, no chemistry, but a strange drawing to one another. And, yes, I know how that ended, but I didn’t like that one, either, even as a kid.

There is no Dean. Only Zuul.

“Where the hell are you, Cas?” I’m, I’m okay.” “You don’t sound okay.” “Dean, I am fine. Besides, what I have, you can’t help me.” “What do you mean what you have?” “Just, please tell Sam Rowena escaped with the Book of the Damned and Codex.” “Okay, forget Rowena, where are you?”

Dean can hear how bad off Cas is—and he’s scared.

The last time he saw Cas, he beat the shit out of him. And now it sounds like things have only gotten worse.

That’s bound to activate some of Dean’s Protective Hubby status, especially now that the Mark’s gone.

“Now, you tell me, the Mark.” “Oh, really, you’re worried about me after everything that I-”

Yes, Dean. After everything. After all the things he knows you’ve done. After all the things you’ve done to him. After all the things he’s done to you.

After everything you will still be Cas and Dean.

“Dean. Is it gone?” “Yes, I’m good. I mean, I’m not great.”

Look at the relief on Castiel’s face. He needed that. He needed to hear that it worked. That Dean Winchester—his Dean Winchester—would still walk the Earth, no matter what happened to Cas next.

“Sam. Dean. Goodbye. It may be some time before we see one another again.”

And Dean’s trying to keep Cas on the line, to get more information from him, to know that he’s going to be okay. But he is far from okay.

“We can’t save Cas if we’re stuck in a hospital, okay?”

The mission shifts. Because Dean fucked Castiel up (derogatory) the last time they saw one another, and now he knows the Angel’s in deep shit. And he wants to save him.

He wants to be the one. He has to do something good for him after all the bullshit.

Because Sam didn’t give up on his big brother. And Cas didn’t give up on his maybe something. And much as Dean protested at the time, he’s here and he needs to protect the people he loves, again.

S11E02 -

“Near as I can tell, when you have to choose between Heaven and the Winchesters, you choose them, every time. So, you see, you’re not my brother.”

Oh, good, return of the Dick Angels. And, yes, I combined them up there. They’re not worth the quotation marks.

Hannah?! Fucking Hannah is going to be the savior?!

Oh, nevermind. Good, I always knew she was a bitch. I feel vindicated.

“Help me.”

Gotta love that he fixed his tie before going to them. Like, seriously, what a weird choice, Cas.

S11E03 -

“Sorry about those, Cas. Til we know what’s goin on with you, you're still a bit of a wild card, you know?”

Why the fuck didn’t we use those on you, Dean!? You were all like, “Sure, I’m slaying left and right like everyone’s worst bloody nightmare, but I’m good”.

Two seconds of “something’s off with Cas” and the chains go on. Gee wiz.

“Cas, you alright pal? … It appears I simply respond differently than humans.”

And while Cas is trying just to sit upright, the Winchesters are stage-whispering about how much worse he’s getting.

Y’all, he could hear you through the door when he was in Betrayal Mode. You really think barely lowering your voice is going to do anything when he’s two feet away at the next table!?

Seriously, Winchesters. He’s an Angel.

“You think it’s crappy?” “Eye of the beholder.”

I love how Dean’s the one to reassure Cas. Because, we all see value in different place, right?

And this is another case of Cas seeing a value that Dean can’t—Cas saw the value in his car. He sees the value in Dean.

It’s such a little thing, but I like the consistency in character, there.

Cas seizures and falls, and the boys run to him.

Interestingly enough, before the fade to black, the only voice we hear calling out to Cas is Dean’s.

Probably meant nothing when someone wrote it that way, but then little ole fans like me wander in and go, “Coincidence? I think not” (thanks The Incredibles).

I mean, yeah, this one’s probably a coincidence, but it’s more fun out here in delulu land.

When he wakes, he sees Sam there, but Dean’s the one touching him, a hand on the shoulder.

“It’s like I was inside a blender that was set to puree for a tomato salsa.” “And you’re the tomato.” “In this analogy, yes.” {Sam stares}

Damnit, Sam! They were having a moment. Yes, I know you’re concerned about Cas and whatnot, but that was cute.

They help him up and Dean places a blanket over Cas, leaving a hand on his shoulder. He only removes the hand when Cas starts talking about the voices.

“First thing’s first.”

I kinda love that Heaven’s priority is Metatron, and Dean’s is Castiel. I mean, wow. Wanna talk about how things have shifted, how things have changed.

They could go after Metatron to deal with the Darkness, but Cas comes first.

He’s down so bad for the little winged Angel and he doesn’t even know it!

“And your friend with the bent halo? He goes foaming at the mouth mad and dies.”

Well, this is new one to the “ways to describe the broken Angel” category. Poor little Castiel.

“Your wee pal Castiel wouldn’t be in this pickle if you’d done what you’d promised.”

She says this to Sam, but it’s a nice twist of the knife in Dean’s ribs.

“Cas. Let her go.”

He listens. Through the fucking spell cast by one of the most powerful witches in existence, Castiel hears Dean. Tell me that’s not fucking love!

“It’s gonna be alright, buddy, okay?”

And then Cas gets a turn to beat the shit out of Dean. Seriously, if these two would just go to couples’ counseling, a lot of this could be avoided.

Yes, I know. I know. Magic Spell. Mark of Cain. Lots of other magic, supernatural bullshit.

Cas starts to seizure and Dean—who is already on his knees—drops lower to be close to the same level as him. Dean lifts Castiel’s face, cupping the Angel’s face with his right hand, the other on his shoulder.

Dean helps him to sit up, then places a hand on either side of his face, holding his eyes before patting him on the shoulder, right hand still cupping his face.

“Dean, I… there aren’t words.” “You’re right, there aren’t words, Cas, ’cause there’s no need.”

And that’s still my over-reaching theory for these two and Heaven. Dean will never need to tell Cas that things are different since they said goodbye, that he’s had the chance to examine their relationship through the eyes of love—something that never occurred to him before.

His mother and Bobby already know. No doubt, they’ve told John, so he’s up to speed.

So when the Angel and Dean show up for family get-togethers and hanging at the bar, seeing one with an arm around the other is commonplace.

No words are needed.

But, I’m getting way ahead on this one.

“You were under a spell, it’s fine.” “Yeah, but you had Rowena. Because of me, you-” “You know, Cas, we’ve got the codex. That’s a start.”

Sam tries to comfort Castiel, who always sees himself as a burden to those he loves. Heaven treats him as broken, and he wants so badly to do well for these humans—his chosen family.

It’s almost worse to let down your chosen family, you know? The people who found in life and thought, “Yup, they’re mine!”

Because that kind of love isn’t demanded by custom and blood, but forged in fire and hope.

“Dean, I can fix that.” “No, no, no. It’s fine, Cas. Besides, I had it coming.”

Dean looks up to meet Cas’ eyes. It’s purposeful.

I don’t know if either of them told Sam how bad it was—how close Dean came to killing Castiel under the weight of the Mark of Cain.

And they haven’t discussed that at all.

Look how Castiel responds to that. The little tilt of the head. The “oh, darling” expression in his eyes as his mouth closes.

Dean doesn’t use a lot of words, but Castiel knows enough what this is—his penance. His apology. His punishment for what he did to Cas.

Dean turns away, but looks back at Cas, briefly. He’s lingering on that moment where he almost made one of the worst choices of his life. So, he’ll take this pain, damnit, because it’s nothing compared to the emotional pain he’s not ready to deal with.

And this whole sequence cuts Sam out like he isn’t even there (Hell, Padalecki probably wasn’t there at all because it’s not his coverage)—because this conversation is about Dean and Cas.

It’s only after Cas sits that we see Sam, again, looking between the two.

S11E04 -

They shot an entire episode… from the car’s perspective!? How many cameras? My production mind has so many questions!

Sure, bottle episode, blah, blah, blah. But now that we’re waiting 2+ years for streamers to release 10 episode seasons, I’d gladly take back the 22-26 seasons every few months even if it meant there were some filler episodes and bottle episodes in there.

We didn’t know how good we had it.

“Cas is getting better, so theres that. Still wants to fix your-” “I’m fine. 100%.” “Alright, well, he’s not. He still needs more time to heal. “Maybe, guess we got nothing to do but get better.”

It says a lot that even after Dean said he deserved it, Cas still wants to fix it. He always wants to fix it, especially for Dean.

“Cas, you’ve got one job to do, and that’s heal, you understand?”

Look at these two. So stubborn. So similar. Castiel knows that Dean would be doing the exact damn thing—trying to help when he should probably be resting. And Dean’s trying to take care of the damn Angel, but he’s so resistant.

“You think he’s gonna be okay?” “He just needs some time, you know? We all do.”

He keeps talking about the “we” here needing healing and restoration. I don’t know if our boy is finally realizing he can’t bounce back like he did in his 20’s, or whatnot, but it’s recurrent in this episode.

Also, I wonder how much Castiel told them about his torture at the hands of other Angels, at how they told him he is entirely unwelcome. He has been cut off by the only family he ever knew, even when he begged for mercy and help.

But the Winchesters—despite Dean nearly killing him and he beating the shit out of Dean not a week later—are there for him. His chosen family.

So, if he has to stay home and heal, he’s going to try to do something productive with the time he has.

And, I’m sorry, can I join the Bob Seger sing-a-long because that shit is fucking adorable. Oh, it’s nice when the show reminds us that these brothers do have good times together. They need that. We need that.

We need the reminders of what we’re fighting for.

And, yes, this is a show. It’s a television show that’s been off the air for five years. But it means something to us.

In the real world, there’s so much going on right now that’s tough and terrifying. But I choose to rebel by injecting as much joy as I can into my life. And I love cheering for my friends who are experiencing joy.

Because we’re all beautiful, as we are. And there are factors trying to take away our rights, to silence our voices, to restrict our movements, to overwhelm us to the point we shut down.

But if we remember what we’re fighting for, we can help carry each other through. Even if one of us loses faith for a while, others will carry the torch so the light is never-ending, still guiding us toward that indestructible construct—hope.

Television shows may seem like throw away things, but even a TV show can give us hope. For many, Supernatural is the show they put on when the world goes to shit. It’s a comfort in trying times.

Entertainment is often billed as pulpy or unworthy of attention if it doesn’t strike certain tones or themes, but I think that’s bullshit. Because entertainment, characters, stories… these are the magic.

So, yes, I love when Supernatural shows these boys actually functioning as brothers who get a minute just to be together and experience a moment where they aren’t drenched in blood or burdens.

Sometimes sometimes they just sing along with the radio. And that’s beautiful.

“Really? You don’t ever want something more?” “I’m sorry. Have you met us? We’re batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs.”

Bro, you’ve been in a domestic partnership with an Angel (formerly) of the Lord for a few years, now. But because Cas isn’t running around in a frilly apron making you meatloaf, you don’t see it.

“You don’t ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever, but… something? You know with a Hunter? Somebody who understands the life?”

Y’all are just being obtuse, now. Hmmm. Who do we know that Dean has a more-than-friends but not-brotherly affectionate and loving relationship with? Who? Hmmm. I wonder…

“Come on, man. That quote? ’God helps those who help themselves?’ God didn’t say that. That’s not even in the Bible. That’s an old proverb that dates back to Aesop. … I read.”

Dean [No Middle Name] Winchester, can you just stop and accept that you’re fucking smart!? Sometimes he is so committed to putting everyone in their boxes that he thinks that both he and Sam can’t be smart—only one of them. And he’ll choose Sammy every time.

Give yourself more credit, damn it!

And how wild is it that the boys both dream of a normal life? Because Dean will never admit it and never pursue it. But, some part of him does want it.

“Cas? You okay?”

I love that his first thought it that something must be wrong with Castiel, and that’s why he’s calling. And then Castiel ends up being the one freaked out, crying Dean’s name over and over.

And then Dean just leaves him, again, to decapitate the guy.

“Alright, Cas, you there?” “Of course. What’s going on?”

Him and his “of course” to Dean. I guess that’s his “As you wish”, right?

“Thanks, Cas. Good work. Way to come off the bench.”

All those words of affirmation for his little Angel. Gosh, I love when he gives Castiel those little morsels to hold onto after all the horrors of the Angels. Dean doesn’t even realizing he’s doing it, but it matters.

“We’ll get Cas to fix you up.” “Only if he fixes you up, too.” “Okay, Mom.”

He finally gives in to letting Cas help, but only because Sam pushed him. Good.

S11E05 -

“What do you want to do about Cas?” “Oh, he’s knee-deep in binge watching The Wire. Just started Season 2.” “Oh, yeah, he’s not coming out anytime soon.”

They both know Cas is shaken up bad. So, maybe he did tell them about the bullshit with the Angels and my (least) favorite Angel, Hannah.

S11E06 -

“Oh, what, you think he’s ready? He’s had a pretty rough go of it lately.” “Which one of us hasn’t?”

I forgot Season 11 is where Dean and Sam switch when it comes to Cas, where Dean becomes the more protective one and Sam gets more exasperated.

I know I talk a lot about how Dean’s feelings for Cas get deeper when he loses him, but I think that whole “nearly killing Castiel” thing also fucked with him pretty bad.

Because, he nearly did it. He was inches from doing it. And Castiel still didn’t give up on him.

Who, besides his little brother, would have been willing to go through all that and not utter a word or demand an apology? Castiel understands, and so Dean doesn’t have to use words. Cas just knows.

But, now his Protective Hubby mode might actually be hurting more than it’s helping.

“Seems insane to leave our one and only Angel friend on the bench.” “I’ll call him.”

We’ve come a long way from “Why does it always have to be me to make the call?” to Dean willingly offering to make the call. And Dean steps away from Sam to make it, too, putting distance between himself and his brother.

And that is fascinating to me, because he doesn’t want Sam to overhear. He wants to just focus on talking to Cas and try to get him off the bench.

“Cas. How you doing, buddy?”

Castiel is caught up in daytime television—the kind of stuff I only really watched with babysitters and my abuella when she took me sometimes in the Summer. There’s a reason I would excuse myself to read on the back porch, instead.

“Well, you sound weird, okay? Bad weird. … So, do me a favor. Turn off the TV. Go outside and get some air. We’re int he dark here, pal. I need you back in the game, okay?”

He tried. He tried to get through. And he was honest.

But just approaching the door is bringing on a wave of trauma… of beating the shit out of Dean again. Of Dean, again saying, “This isn’t you”. He sees the other Angels, all the pain he’s wrought.

And we never get to see the Leviathan arc properly because so much of that season he’s gone and under Naomi’s control. But, I imagine if there was footage, that’d be in here, too.

Yes, Castiel has done some horrible things before. And sometimes things roll off you and sometimes they don’t, and you can’t explain why. That’s this whole bloody affair.

And at the end of the whole flashback sequence—book ending with him beating the shit out of Dean—is Cain-marked Dean kicking his ass while he never fought back, merely tried to block the blows.

Cas ends up back watching television—giving him an unexpected break in the case. See, Mom? Binge-watching can be helpful!

“You are broken, Castiel. You were always a bit of a nancy, but this?”

I’m sorry. Did he just call Castiel gay!? I mean, I’m not a fan of derogatory words, but this is implying Cas has always been noticeably different.

“Look, Guys, I’m as glad as anyone that Stella got her groove back, but you let Metatron go?” “Dean, how many times are you gonna repeat that question?”

Enough for the audience to catch up, I suspect, and no more.

“He’s not a threat to us.”

Us. Castiel sees himself as part of the team, part of the family. Finally.

“She overpowered me. End of story.”

Except Castiel can detect lies. He knows there’s something Dean’s not telling him, and Sam can see from Cas’ reaction that something’s up.

S11E07 -

“This is everything Cas dug up in Gaza, every last bit of pre-Biblical lore.”

We remember you, buddy! Even if you aren’t with us.

S11E10 -

Dean’s a mess with the poisoning, so Castiel finds him blowing chunks on the side of the road.

“Dean. I came as soon as you called. Are you alright?” “Cas?” {spews} “You’re not alright.” “Obviously.”

Castiel appears to be going through something he saw on a medical drama. Because, we know he can detect things just from observation.

Okay, I’m sorry, Amara carved a message on Castiel’s chest so he just had to flash it at Dean? Okay, yeah, you talked big game about how insignificant Cas is, but your little puppet, Dean, has a mighty connection to this little Angel.

And now he can’t stop staring at the Angel’s nipples. So, yeah, not sure you knew what you were doing there, babe.

And what was that choice of Dean looking over at Cas very confused and unsure how to feel during Lucifer’s little dance party? It caught my eye, made me laugh, and made me wonder many things.

I mean, this episode is all over the place, but I’m not mad. Just confounded.

And… we begin the Casifer Arc.

S11E11 -

“Hello, Dean.” “Right, yeah.” … “I’m sorry.”

Starting small with classic Cas phrases. There you go, Casifer. Gotta ease into it a bit. And, damnit, this is that thing that is hard for me to do—watching something uncomfortable.

Like, to Dean it isn’t. He has no idea his buddy’s a vessel for hellfire and damnation. But, for me, I’m screaming at him going, “No! No! Don’t open up to fucking Lucifer!”

I’m as bad as my Uncle yelling at the Washington Commanders not to fumble the ball during a playoff. Yes, he’s a Commanders fan. No, there’s nothing I can do about it.

“I’ve had two shots at Amara. I struck out both times. … I don’t even know where to start.”

Yes, I’m cutting out the Casifer stuff because it’s not Cas.

But Dean thinks it’s Cas, so he unloads and shares everything. And it’s uncomfortable to me because Castiel is in there, somewhere, missing his human confiding in him.

Because Dean trusts Castiel in ways he doesn’t trust anyone else. He loves Cas in ways he doesn’t love anyone else. And if Lucifer was aware of their whole thing, oh, wow, is he hearing alarm bells about it, now.

He’s got Castiel’s vessel and memories and emotions and feelings swimming around in there. And he’s got Dean three inches from his face pouring his heart out in the dark.

And I’m not the first to make the following point, but it goes along with what I’ve always thought—Castiel accepts Dean as he comes. He would never judge him for whatever’s going on between him and Amara.

I mean, Dean beats the shit out of him, and Castiel does not judge. Dean murders a bunch of people, and while calling him on his shit, Castiel does not judge.

Dean. It’s not your Angel! Run!!

And when he puts the hand on the shoulder like that? It’s wrong. Something’s off. It’s not right. And some part of Dean knows it.

Okay. phew Made it through one Dean-doesn’t-know-it’s-Lucifer scene. But it wasn’t easy.

I don’t know why I’m this way. Truly! I don’t like to be uncomfortable. I can handle some gore and dark themes and murders and serial killers and so much more. But give me an uncomfortable scene and I’m still 12 years old looking between my fingers.

“Cas gone?” “Yeah, I guess so.” “What was he doing here, anyway?” “He was looking for lore on the darkness. Something a little off about him, too.”

Yes, Dean. Yes. You know your husband well enough by now to know when something’s wrong. He’s not your Angel!

If Sam hadn’t dismissed it so quickly, you might have followed it and figured it out earlier.

S11E12 -

“What about you, you hear from Cas?”

Nobody’s heard from Cas since the cage, my friends. You just don’t know it, yet.

S11E13 -

Dean, Dean, Dean. If you’re with someone with any skills, you don’t end up with hickey at age 40, just sayin’.

And I looked it up, and Dean was 37 in this season, roughly, but just sayin’. I stopped leaving marks like that in my teens, and the last time I saw a peer with one, he was 22 or so.

Dean, my man, find better lovers. cough Castiel cough

Also, glad he finally opened up to Sam about his Amara pull. At least he knows it’s not love. He might not know much about love, but that ain’t it.

S11E14 -

Oh, goodie, Rachel gets to be uncomfortable, again. Dean-o, can you just, I dunno, skip the “Maybe Cas isn’t as off as I think” phase, this time?

We did it when he was working with Crowley in Season 6. We did it when he came back in Season 7 and didn’t have all his faculties. We did it in Season 8 when he was being controlled by Naomi.

At some point you gotta trust your instincts and go, “that’s not my Angel!” C’mon!

But, more credit to Collins and those damn micro expressions. Even when Lucifer is trying to be comforting, or speak as he believes Cas would, there’s an edge to it.

Our Cas, when speaking lovingly, has a gentle quality, like he’s trying not to disturb someone who has a gun pointed at him with an itchy trigger finger. Casifer’s eyes are hardened, lacking in any softness.

Damn, man.

I mean, until Supernatural, the only thing I’d seen Collins in was an episode of Timeless where I was so impressed I immediately looked up his IMDB to see what else he might’ve been in.

When I saw Supernatural, I exclaimed, “Oh, it’s the Angel!” because though I didn’t really get into the show during its first run, I’m terminally online.

I mean, y’all—all two of you—are reading this on Tumblr, a site I’ve been on about 15 years. If we’re here, we’re all terminally online.

Something else that is fascinating about the cinematography here is the choice of who to feature in two-shots. We’re getting a lot less of Dean and Casifer, and that honestly helps make things feel… off.

Like, as a viewer I was watching and trying to figure out what felt wrong about the scene. And if it was purposeful, wow, it was beautifully done. I know that something’s wrong, here.

Oooh, and we’re at the iconic GIFs. The GIFs I saw before the episode of Collins switching on a dime from Casifer to Cas, and even without sound I knew to tell the two apart.

“I’ll just say, ’Dean’.” {pauses, holds up finger, lowers voice and turns on puppy dog eyes} “Dean.”

And the subtitles say “imitating Castiel’s gruff voice” and I have to say, I’ve never thought of it as “gruff”. Gravely, maybe, but not gruff. He’s too pookybear!

As Lucifer goes to kill Sam, Castiel steps in.

“Hello, Castiel.”

Damn, that Angel’s got some fight. Fight, baby, fight!!

“Sam, it’s me.” “Cas. Why?” “I wanted to be of service to the fight, and only Lucifer can beat her.” “You chose this? You have to fight, Cas. Eject him, now!” “I can’t. It’s taking all my strength to keep him from killing you. And besides, we need him.” “No, Cas, we don’t.”

I explained this show to my Eldest (twin) 10-year-old as, “A show where three man-shaped beings take turns being the one to do the stupid thing, not tell the others, and they spend the season trying to fix it before trading places.”

Funny enough, kid understood right away.

“We need him to save Dean.” “You can’t time travel.”

Duh! I have been screaming this at the screen since the beginning of the episode. Castiel lost a lot of stuff in the Fall. He still has his Grace, but not his wings. Not other things.

“Dean. That’s not Cas.”

Nope. But damn Collins is doing a masterful representation of Mark Pellegrino, here. I mean, the mannerisms, the expressions, the physicality—I don’t see a trace of Castiel in it.

And I don’t see someone doing an impersonation or something frivolous. No, this is an incredible ode to the other performer that you rarely see executed at such a precise level.

I’ve heard the same interviews we’ve all heard, where Collins asked Pellegrino for pointers and was told Lucifer always looked at people deciding whether to fuck them or kill them. It works.

Casifer’s a menace, but the Winchesters learned a thing or two from Castiel, including how to blast away an Angel. Fuck off, Casifer!

Oh, but look at Dean’s face. He’s gutted. Absolutely gutted. He lost Cas, again, and the mission was a bust. There’s no win, here. Just devastation.

“Cas.” “Yeah. Yeah, what do we do?” “What else? We hunt Lucifer, trap the bastard, and save Cas.” “Like I said, Lucifer may be in control, now, but Cas may not come back willingly. I mean, he chose it.” “No. No. Not possible.”

This whole scene kills me. Because Dean doesn’t think Cas would put himself in this position, that he would do something this monumentally unsound just to try to save them.

But he would, Dean. Again and again and again.

Dean looks off, away, thoughts reeling. He can’t wrap his mind around what happened, around the fact that everything he said to Cas since they got out of the cage was actually to Lucifer. And he’s so pissed at himself for not figuring it out.

Cas is his person. He is.

And Dean just lost him again. He can’t believe Cas would choose something like that again. Surely by now he knows how much he means to them? To Dean? Right!?

Like, Castiel can’t possibly see himself as disposable? As weak? As not enough?

But, he does. Castiel’s feelings of doubt and fear make him an easy target. He has no home, not really.

He wants to belong with the Winchesters, but too often feels more burden than help, especially after everything that happened with Rowena’s spell.

Dean has to wonder if he pushed Cas too fast to get back in the game, if there’s anything he could have done differently that would have kept him from making such a mad decision.

Castiel doesn’t know his worth. So much like Dean, in that. Neither knows how much they mean to the other. And now Dean is steadfastly avoiding a reality in his mind where he doesn’t get his Angel back.

S11E15 -

“He made a bad decision. We’ve been there.” “Yeah. You, me, now Cas.”

Honey, your boyfriend has made a lot more bad decisions than this one. But, yes, it is his turn this season to the be one without a braincell.

“Dean, we’ll get him back. We will. We just got to-” “Keep grinding. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how hard it gets, we gotta keep grinding.” “Right.” “And thats how we’re gonna win. And we’re gonna win. We’re gonna save Cas, we’re gonna ice the devil, and we’re gonna shank the Darkness. And anyone that gets in our way, well God help them.”

Priorities on display. But, also, I love the supportive brother-in-law.

Because Sam knows that Cas and Dean have something entirely different from what he and Cas have. He does love Cas as family. He trusts Cas.

But he can see that Dean and Cas are more. Even if Dean can’t see it, Sam does. He knows that Dean needs more reassurance about Cas than he does because that “profound bond” has always been there and always will be.

S11E17 -

“After everything we survived together, I watched the man I loved die. There’s no normal after that.”

Okay, is this a Sam/Dean thing or a Destiel thing? I don’t know, but Ackles’ performance here is crazy because he just disappears from the moment with her and he’s somewhere else entirely.

Yes, losing his brother is losing his world. But, she’s talking about a romantic relationship. So, that doesn’t quite play.

One of those things I wish I could ask someone about, because taking a stab at interpreting it feels too nebulous, even for me!

S11E18 -

“I will give you the horn if you help me exorcize Lucifer from Castiel’s vessel and then return him immediately to the cage.”

Fascinating fact—the subtitles use the English UK version of “exorcise” which made me pause, for a second, thinking I’d done something wrong. We’re good.

“After we exorcize Lucifer out of Cas and put him in a new vessel.” “What? Really?” “Yes, really.”

I love how Crowley just walks away from this situation. But, still interesting that Sam’s the one not seeing the idealistic view of this situation.

“We’re not gonna send Lucifer into battle inside Case. What if he doesn’t make it?” … “I’m guessing it can hold Lucifer." “It? It’s not an it, Sam, it’s Cas.” And Cas wanted to do this.” “Yeah, well there’s times I want to get slapped during sex by a girl wearing a Zoro mask. That don’t make it a good idea.” “Dean, this is exactly how we screw ourselves. We make the heart choice instead of the smart choice.”

Um… Sammy, are you trying not to say “love”? Because, it kinda feels like you’re trying really hard not to connect your brother and that word.

But that’s what this is—an act of Love. Castiel is trying to save those he loves doing what he thinks must be done. And Dean is trying to save Castiel before he loses him forever.

Yes, it’s the “heart choice” because Cas is Dean’s person.

Look, I don’t need to see them fuck or cuddle or even hold hands to know they’re an item. I remember the Aziracrow fandom going through it a few years back when Crowley (pronounced croh-lee) and Aziraphale finally locked lips.

Folks flocked to the inter webs protesting the show “making them gay”. Oh, honeys. The book was published in 1990 where not only were they referred to as “consenting”, a then-well-known slang for gay in the UK, but Aziraphale’s intro said people thought he was “gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide”.

And yet, the kiss was what made them “gay”.

The thing about queer love that I personally love is that its up to the people in it to decide what their relationship looks like. All you have to know is that it’s outside heteronormative rules, and there you go.

Some people like labels. Some don’t.

And whatever they are, Dean and Cas are each other’s person in this world, even if they’re not quite aware of it—Castiel because of his fear. Dean because of his baffling cluelessness.

“Oh, okay. Thank you, Dr Phil. Cas is family.” “Yes, and his choice deserves to be respected.” “Even if it kills him?”

And that’s the crux of it—Dean doesn’t want to lose Cas. Look, he’ll fight tooth and nail for his brother, and that’s understood. They’ve been codependent since childhood—especially Dean.

But Cas is something entirely different for Dean. He doesn’t have the words, yet, and maybe he never will. But it’s apparent to everyone involved that Dean’s more emotionally invested in Cas’ fate than the rest of them.

Crowley’s the one to go in to talk to Castiel.

“Wait, that was Dean I saw a minute ago, wasn’t it?” “Yes.” “And he wants me to expel Lucifer?” “Well, he may have a more objective view of the situation. Maybe I should.”

Cas is completely brainwashed and looks like one of those After School Specials that warned us about the perils of sitting too close to the television. I mean, there’s even bunny ears!

“Maybe Cas isn’t willing to play ball. I mean, you said it yourself—he wanted this. … Come on, Cas, what the hell?”

There’s no fight in there.

“Lucifer’s hold on him is too strong.”

Well, at least Crowley got to tell them that.

“Cas?”

It’s amazing how a single syllable—one word—can be so significant, yet so seemingly insignificant. Look how Amara reacts to Dean’s outburst—to the pleading in his eyes.

Because when Dean’s around her, he’s not always in control. But his love for Cas breaks through. It breaks through her usual allure, and she clocks that. Fast.

“Listen, um, I know I came down on the side of wanting Cas to deal with Amara, so…” “Well, thats what he wanted though, right? Besides, didn’t we say that we were gonna swear off getting in the way when one person makes a choice the other doesn’t agree with?” “Yeah. Um, yeah, we did say that.” “So…” “Okay, so that’s our policy.”

Dean’s masking. Because this still hurts like hell.

“Well, let’s go find that idiot and bring him home.”

Ah, there he is. There’s that optimism. I mean, yes, calling him names, but also determined to bring him home.

S11E19 -

“Dean, we'll find Cas, okay? He’s stronger than he looks.” “You know, we gambled with Cas and now Amara has him.” “For a reason. Which means he’s still alive.” … “The small fries, even an Angel like Cas, doesn’t even register. And if it meant hurting Lucifer, killing Cas would mean nothing to her.”

But it means everything to you, Dean. Because if you have Cas and Sam, you’re stable. You can keep going. But take either one of them away, and you’re a fucking wreck.

You may not fully realize why, yet, but you know you can’t lose Cas. Not again. Not now.

“So, we get back out there. We keep working. We keep moving. We’ll catch a break on Cas. We have to. It’s… it’s Karma.” “You know, Karma’s been kicking us in the teeth lately.”

Insane that Sam is the one trying to get Dean to stop reading books and get back to work. That’s how deep Dean’s love for Cas is.

A season earlier, it was everything Dean could do to keep moving. He was hurting bad with the Mark, but working was how he tried to cope.

With Cas in the wind, it’s not the same. It’s not an ache he can work through.

It’s a piercing, constant, targeted pain he can’t place and can’t ignore. Nothing soothes it, but trying to do something to help Cas makes it feel worth it. Worth the pain.

S11E20 -

“Whatever Amara’s doing to Lucifer.” “Yeah, beating on Cas in the meantime.”

Dean’s ready to take on Amara, but since he lost Cas, there’s always that “and”. He’s going to take down Amara and he’s going to save his Angel.

S11E21 -

In a move that is nothing short of insane someone wrote a storyline where Amara uses Castiel to connect with Dean. Like, I know I talk a lot about their cord of connection, but Amara is literally putting it in use!

I feel so justified in writing that all this time, now.

“Say nothing of the Vessel, your friend, Castiel.”

And the bitch shows him Castiel’s vessel, battered and broken. She’s using this to get her way. Nothing else has worked, right? So, try the Cas angle, I guess.

“We gotta find Lucifer before it’s too late.” “Too late?” … “She just showed up. But she’s showing me visions of Lucifer. And by Lucifer, I mean Cas, and he looks like crap. Like she’s really doing a number on him.”

Because that is what really concerns him. It’s not about Lucifer. It’s about stopping Amara and getting his friend back.

Why are these women so cringe, by the way? Amara’s come-ons to Dean are so gross, and I’m so glad he’s fighting back against her bullshit manipulation.

This isn’t love, Dean. If you don’t get to choose it, then it’s just not love. She’s a manipulative bitch with a tie to you because you unlocked a lock and now she thinks she has ownership of you. Fuck that.

“You’re right. I am drawn to you. And it bothers the hell out of me, cause I can’t control it.” “Then why fight it.”

Because that’s what “free will” is about, bitch. This entire show is about Dean Winchester and his little brother fighting against their destinies or whatever.

“Something stops you. Keeps you from having it all.”

Dean looks away. He’s fighting. And when she finds out Dean spoke with God—who sought him out—she reads it as betrayal. No, Darkness, that is not love. You can’t fathom love. You don’t understand free will.

Dean will never love you, much as you attempt to ensnare him.

S11E22 -

“Perhaps you’ll lend an ear to my very own Jiminy Cricket?”

And, of course, they can see the shift in Angels. And we see the shift in characters. Collins takes us from one to the other so damn beautifully.

Yes, I know this has zero to do with Destiel. But it’s beautiful and Ackles will get his due with the Michael arc, just wait!

“You know, every second that Ive spent subordinating myself to Lucifer, it’s been a torment. It’s destroying me. It’s burning through my vessel. But I would do it all over again because through me, he and God, they will defeat the Darkness. That’s my role in this fight. It’s God’s fight. You can play a part in that fight, too, if you join me.”

Cas was always good for a rousing speech. And, the reminder of the sacrifice—Jimmy Novak is a strong vessel, but every vessel is a temporary one when it comes to Lucifer.

“Oh, don’t worry. Your pet’s safety is my highest concern. Trust me, he’s onboard.”

Crowley’s face during this exchange is marvelous. He’s absolutely trying not to laugh aloud because everyone in this room is well aware of how Dean feels about Cas.

Now, some of them are saying it aloud, while others cough Sam cough are pretending not to notice. I mean, Sam seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t out someone—even to themselves!

“First Cas is making Kamizaze side plans and now you?”

It’s never easy on Dean relying on the others, letting them do things their way. Doesn’t mean it’s gonna work out any better, but he is trying to let Sam take the lead, here.

S11E23 -

Dean puts a hand on Casifer’s shoulder to wake him. He starts to let it slide off, but when the being opens its eyes and looks upon Dean, it’s not Lucifer staring back out.

“Dean.” “Cas?”

Dean places the hand back on Cas’ shoulder, holding on this time.

“Hey, Is that you?!” “Lucifer is gone.”

Watch Dean here. Just… watch him. Take a moment away from worrying about waves hands the state of the bloody world and just watch the acting choice Ackles makes, here.

There’s such relief in knowing that Castiel is back that Lucifer is gone. In the midst of the horrors, there’s something to hold onto, again—Cas.

Because, when you’re in the thick of a shitty situation, where you can’t fix all the things in the world, you need little things—a favorite drink, a comfort television show, to hear the voice of someone you love.

Ackles puts such relief into that minute choice. His body shifts. His lips quirk into an almost-smile. You can feel a weight lifting off of him.

“Amara ripped him from my body.” “To where?”

There is no reason for that hand to still be on Cas’ shoulder Dean… we see you, Dean. And we love you for it.

“So that was a gun in your pocket.”

I’m sorry, but this is one time where Collins pulls focus. And it’s hilarious. I mean, he is out-of-focus and I’m still eating up his reaction to this because he isn’t looking at Rowena, he’s looking at Dean’s exasperated expression and wondering why he’s giving it.

Guess there’s still some slang and pop culture that’s out of Cas’ new understanding.

“Well, that was a complete and utter dog’s breakfast, wasn’t it?” “I didn’t know dogs had breakfast.” “Cas is back.”

Yeah, Dean. We noticed.

“Sometimes, me and Sam, we got so much going on that we forget about everyone else.”

Translation = I was taking you for granted… and I see that, now. And I don’t want you to feel that. I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to treat you better and appreciate you while you are here.

“You’re the best friend we’ve ever had. You’re our brother, Cas. I want you to know that.” “Thank you.”

Bro-zoned by the love of your life. Ouch, Cas, ouch. We all felt that one. Like the collective groan throughout the world was probably so loud it caused a tremble in the Earth’s crust.

Dean nearly lost Cas, and now he’s contemplative, and he’s saying things he needs to say. He needs Cas to know they are family. He doesn’t have a better word than that.

He still can’t wrap his mind around what they are. The closest thing Dean can reach for is family. But he totally bro-zones poor Cas. And if Cas isn’t completely sure he’s in love with Dean by now, he’s at least aware of it. It’s somewhere in there.

I mean, look at Cas’ face after Dean bro-zones him. He loves this poor bastard, and all he got for it is an invitation to the Family Reunion instead of an invitation to the Honeymoon Suite.

And Dean does love Cas in ways he’s never loved anyone else. Even if he won’t say it. Even if he doesn’t fully comprehend it. It’s there.

The thing about Dean is that he appreciates Cas more every time he loses him—whether to death or possession, it doesn’t matter. Whenever he thinks Cas might be gone for good, he recognizes how his feelings have shifted from the last time he lost him. They get stronger every time as his attachment to Cas grows.

He’s always late to the party, playing catch up to Cas' white-hot glow of love that deepens over the years. But it’s there, people. It’s there.

As Dean readies for his imminent demise, Cas goes in for a hug as flowers fall off the tree around them, blown by the wind. That is likely completely accidental, but it lends a beautiful ambiance to the moment.

Dean hugs Cas back, and while he says, “Okay, alright” his face says something else. He starts to get emotional. I mean, he just got Cas back again and now he’s the one to say goodbye.

“I could go with you.” “No, no no. No, I gotta do this alone.”

To the death. Cas was willing to go with Dean to the death so he wouldn’t have to do it, alone.

“Listen, if, when, when this works, Sam, he’s gonna be a mess. So look out for him, okay. Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.” “Of course.” {Dean places a hand on his shoulder, again,} "Thank you for everything.”

Yup. “Of course” is Castiel’s “As You Wish”, his “I love you” when he can’t yet say it.

And Dean is entrusting Cas with the person most important to him—his little brother. He has spent his entire life watching out for that kid, and if he’s going to trust anyone to look after Sam, it’s going to be Cas.

“No chick flick moments, come on.” “Yeah, you love chick flicks.” “Yeah, you’re right. I do. Come here.”

Another one of those moments where I cringe at Dean’s upbringing and his heteronormative programming. Let Dean watch When Harry Met Sally, you cowards. With his best Angel. It’d be fucking adorable.

“He did it.” “He bloody did it.” “And Dean?”

Of course, it’s Cas. Of course he’s the one to say it. Sam can’t bring himself to say it. If the sun’s back, Dean’s gone, right? Right.

Or so they think. Dun, dun, DUN!!!

S12E01 -

“He’s a friend. Hey, Cas.” “Dean!”

They embrace, and it should be noted Dean was ready for that hug as much as Cas. I mean, he moves into that hug, even if Cas is the more ferocious in wrapping his arms around his person.

And it takes 0.5 seconds for Mom to clock that this is so much more than a “friend”. Look at that head tilt!

It’s okay, Mommy Winchester. Your boy found a good life partner.

Dean might lightly protest, but he lingers in that hug. He gives Cas a second to process and them both a chance to celebrate surviving the end… again.

“Dean. You're alive!?”

They pull apart, but don’t give each other much space. We are long past Dean worrying about personal space with Cas.

“This is Castiel.”

Castiel’s side eye makes me laugh every time. My 7-year-old daughter made me replay it over and over, because she thought it was funny, too. Because Castiel isn’t used to Dean Winchester introducing him by his full name.

I mean, this fully gives off “Introducing the boyfriend/girlfriend/theyfriend to Mom.” And, bonus, this is Dean’s mom.

“That’s an Angel?”

Cas as the muscle of the operation is a nice reminder of how capable he is when he has all his Grace.

He’s a badass, Angel warrior. And much as he thought he was super weak and super dispensable in Season 11, after all of that, he’s got new strength.

At the little roadside stand looking fun, Mary is a bit overwhelmed. And Cas is trying to be comforting. He sees the struggle in Mary, her overwhelm.

Oh, and those two coffees Castiel was carrying? He gave one to Mary, but the other was for Dean. Another act of service from our little Angel.

Season 12 is one of my favorites in terms of forward progression of the Destiel relationship. Castiel does go off the rails a bit at the end, but that’s kinda expected by now. One of them is gonna do it every season.

S12E02 -

“I understand. I’ll call you in the morning.” “Cas, hey.”

Cas is about to hang up and let Dean get his four hours of sleep, but Dean is actively seeking advice from Cas about his mother.

And, like, Dean, honey. Your Angel never had a mother, let alone one who came back from the dead after missing your entire childhood.

Like, Amara tried to do a nice thing for Dean, but it kinda fucks up the world even more. Kinda the theme of the show, right?

But I do like that Dean is asking Cas for advice and opening up to him… even if it goes nowhere.

“Powerfully warded. Okay, see, buddy, that was your headline, right there.” “Are we still discussing the same thing?” “Where are you?”

Aww, he confused the little Angel. I know that’s kinda their thing, but Cas is improving at the investigative stuff, and I do like that he gets that arc.

I mean, when he solves that case in S15 and goes back to the Winchesters after he and Dean divorced, it feels like he realized how much he could learn, how much he could overcome, how he is still useful, Angel power or none.

Also, how ridiculous are Cas and Dean trying to hold Mama Winchester back? And Cas even knows how stupid his request is, but goes along with it because Dean asks.

And the fact that Dean asks with a look makes me warm and fuzzy inside. I’ve always been a fan of their ability to talk without talking. That started early in the relationship, and I’m always giddy when it makes an appearance.

“I powered down all the wardings in this shack so your attack dog could come in.”

Dean looks to Cas on this and Cas is already looking back at him. I do like Cas getting to be a bit of the muscle for a while, Angel powers and all. Might as well use them sometimes, loves!

S12E03 -

“Castiel. What are you doing up?” “Oh, I’m always up. Angels don’t need sleep.”

Dean really needs to talk to his mom more about his Situationship. I mean, she has a lot to learn about him, but I think she’s already getting a good idea of the guy.

“Castiel, after you left heaven, when did it start to feel like, like you fit, like you belonged here?” “Well I’m still not sure I do. … Mary. You do belong here.” “Goodnight, Castiel.”

Okay, she likes her boy’s situationship. Very much.

“If it is him, I will call you. In the meantime, I think you’re needed here.”

Look at Cas trying to get them to address the Mom issue. That’s growth for Cas understanding humanity! He clearly can see the troubles going on within Mary and he’s trying to help Dean—who sucks at emotions—work through it.

When it comes to bullets and bloodshed, Dean knows the only way is through. When it comes to emotions, he bottles up, buttons down, and disappears into his head.

S12E04 -

“Bad news?” “Cas is chumming it up with Crowley. They’re hunting Lucifer together. That’s right. One’s an angel. One’s a demon, and apparently they solve crimes.”

Welp, at least he told you this time, right?! Seriously, Season 12 Dean and Cas are communicating, and I kinda love it.

S12E05 -

“Nazis. I hate these guys.”

I pumped my fists in the air at this line, y’all. It doesn’t have jack shit to do with Destiel, but I knew the moment I heard it I had to mention it. Fuck, yeah!

S12E06 -

“Are you a romcom chick?” “Are you?”

Hey, Sammy said he was! You can be more than one kind of person, Dean-o. You have such a binary, boxed-in way of looking at the world that you can’t even see it!

S12E07 -

“You consider switching up your duds here? Bit stiff for this town.” “He could be an agent or something.” “Yeah, maybe a third tier agent.” “At least I don’t look like a lumberjack.”

Ah, yes, the bitchy bickering of totally straight people.

I mean, Dean’s reaction is hilarious. Ackles is always good when it comes to a good reaction shot, but the ones where he and Collins are feeding off of one another particularly land.

In this case, Collins is the straight man and Ackles brings that laugh home. It’s a lovely rhythm, and I like when the Writers take advantage of it this way.

“Well, the only way you clear that crowd without drawing fire is if he’s otherwise engaged.” “Engaged in what, Cas? Killing you?” “Cas, you’ll last three minutes. Tops.” “Then I’ll buy you three minutes.” “Make it four. What? I help.”

Not much of a goodbye here, right? I guess Dean must’ve thought they were all going to be just fine, or he felt he and Cas were cool enough that if they went out this way, so be it.

Because, let’s be real, if Cas bit the dust, here, he’d be a mess.

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand. I was inside you. I know what a weak, duty-bound, pleasureless dullard you are.”

Hey, fuck you, buddy! It’s a running theme that the one thing all Angels can agree on is putting Castiel down. Any of y’all notice? All of them try to tell him how weak he is and dull he is.

Maybe they’re just jealous God keeps bringing Cas back and leaving the rest of them drooling on the floor of the Empty. I dunno.

“How you feeling?” “I’m not dead.”

Oh, Cas. Never change.

“Vince Vincente is dead.” “We never even hoped to save him.”

Wow, these two are in reversal from last season. When Casifer was roaming the Earth, it was Dean’s hope to vacate Lucifer before he faced Amara—to protect Cas. He was intent on saving Castiel.

This time, he’s on the “Yeah, we didn’t have a hope” side of the argument. Because that was Cas and he couldn’t risk losing him.

And, Dean, my dear, any clue why that might be? Nope. Not yet. Maybe after Cas dies a couple more times…

S12E8 -

Cas drops the coffee cups—the cups he grabbed for Dean and Sam. Another little act of service.

The boys rush in, and Dean is the first to reach Cas, grabbing onto his arm and back. Dean releases the hand on the arm, but keeps the one on his back, even as Cas tells them what’s going on. Dean doesn’t pull his arm away until Cas straightens.

“Alright. Stay here. We got this.”

Dean tries to get Cas to stay in the car, but as soon as he sees something’s going down, he’s on his feet and ready to fight.

“Cas, don’t.”

Cas is ready to take on the world for Dean Winchester. But, he stands down for the very same reason. There were times Dean begged him to stop, he didn’t, and the world and Heaven suffered.

So, while he’ll fight back when he thinks Dean’s being a dick, this time, he listens.

Oh! And love the detail that when everyone else ducks for cover, Cas just sorta stands there and goes, “huh”.

Also, the dude from Dear Santa!? I always thought he was a talented lad. Good for him landing a recurring role on a killer show!

“Who are you people?” “Well, dear. I’m a witch. He’s an Angel.” “And I’m the King of Hell.” “Oh, God.” “No, actually, he left.”

This little sequence of dialogue is amazing. It’s perfectly delivered, shot, edited, and still makes me giggle when I watch it, even though I’ve watched it a million times and committed it to memory.

Also, I love how Cas and Dean work wordlessly together, here. Cas gets the Bible and Dean sees where this is going, so he’s ready with the bin and the water. They’re really working well without words this season.

Oh, how far they’ve come!

S12E09 -

“You left them.” “Dean told me to go…”

I had to delete what I originally wrote because I realized I might have been channeling some of my own abandonment issues a bit too aggressively the first time around.

Let’s just say Mother Mary attacking Cas when she’s the one who left her kids because she missed the babies they once were didn’t sit well with me.

“If they needed help, why didn’t they call me?” “You were out.”

This.

“How do we let this happen, Castiel?”

We!? I’m sorry, we!? Castiel has been there with your boys, helping them. Working with them. Trying to work through all the shit the Universe throws at them. While she was off doing her own thing.

You are not in the same league, lady. So, stop taking your frustration at yourself and your own damn issues extend to Cas.

“I just wanted to say… I’m sorry.”

It’s a start. But you’re still on my shit list.

“They’ve only been gone-” “Six weeks, two days, and ten hours.”

See? Castiel knows it to the minute and you’re over here berating him when he’s been trying to find them, aching without Dean and worried for Sam.

Maybe it’s the first time she realizes just how much Cas cares because you can see the look in her eyes as this hits her.

“We’ll find them, Castiel. We will.”

Ah, yes, last season it was Sam comforting Dean about Cas. Now, it’s Mary comforting Cas about Dean.

And we’re supposed to ignore the parallels and pretend Destiel is a part of our imaginations. Yeah, right!

And then Castiel talks about the case he tried to work solo, the case he couldn’t solve, and how he ended up running away because he thought he wasn’t good enough to take care of it. Even when Mary offers to help, he answers, resigned:

“I’d only get in your way.”

He’s trying to “carry on” (thank you Kansas) for the boys. To do what they do. But he’s not quite there, yet, and it’s only making him feel worse.

“Cas.” “Dean?” “Hey, buddy, long time.” “What- what happened? Where are you?”

Look at the little Angel’s face. He’s so relieved to hear the voice of his love, again.

“Hey, buddy.”

Hugging is so natural by this point. But the way the camera hangs on Cas as he watches the Winchesters—mom and sons—reunite is telling.

He’s still on the outside here a bit, isn’t he? Much as he loves them. Much as he wants to protect them. He knows he’s not one of them.

“Cas, what have you done?”

Like any of y’all was gonna let one of the others take the fall. You’re Winchesters. You’re the “never give up” humans who keep Chuck entertained and baffle the rest of the supernatural world.

“You know this world, this sad, doomed little world, it needs you. It needs every last Winchester it can get and I will not let you die. I won’t let any of you die. And I won’t let you sacrifice themselves. You mean to much to me. To everything.”

Yup. This is the episode for Mary to realize just how much Castiel means to them. How much they mean to him. He’s an Angel who defied Heaven, who fell, who chose the Winchesters again and again and again.

But Mary knows nothing of that. She hasn’t witnessed it and she didn’t stick around long enough for her kid to learn it.

This episode shows her the bond her boys have with their feathered friend.

“Yeah, you made a deal. You made a stupid deal and I broke it. You’re welcome.”

The Winchesters are too damned shocked to berate him. Yes, Castiel has done some crazy, unhinged things for them in the past. But this is probably the craziest, at least to Dean and Sam.

As far as Mama Mary knows, this is an average Thursday.

S12E10 -

“You talk to Cas, yet?” “No.” “So, you’re just gonna keep walking past each other in the kitchen not saying a word?” “Maybe.”

Oh my gosh, these two are so married. And because make-up sex isn’t on the table at this point, they’re going to have to take the long way around to talking to one another, again.

“I’m not pissed that he… cares about us. You know. I’m grateful.”

Can’t say that Cas loves you, can you? I mean it. “Love” is a big and nebulous thing for Dean, no matter what shape or size it comes in.

If you’re not friend, family, or fuck-buddy, he doesn’t know what the hell to do with ya.

“My point is, Cas thought he was doing the right thing.” “I was doing the right thing.” “You sure about that?” “Yes.” “Well, I’m not so sure.” “And when the other shoe drops?” “I’ll deal with it.”

Seriously, they are so married and Sam’s trying to play intermediary to get his brother and brother-in-law to stop fighting.

Also, we’ve talked before about how Dean doesn’t mind being the one to die. He’d much rather it be him than anyone else he loves. And when those Cosmic Consequences drop, he doesn’t know which one of ’em it’ll drop on.

He has zero control, and he hates that position.

But soon enough, Cas’ll find the positions he likes.

I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. It just popped in my head, and then it tapped itself into the laptop and now it’s there. So, I can’t delete it on principle.

“Got a lead on Kelly?” “No, this is personal.” “Meaning what?”

I love that Dean wants to know. Like, he’s still fully invested in Cas even if he’s angry at him.

Wanna punch my boyfriend but pooky’s going out and not telling me why and I don’t like that, either.

Yeah, these two are totally married in S12.

“We’ll come with you.” “Both of you?” “Sure. Yeah, we could help. Gotta make sure you don’t do anything else stupid.”

Cas rolls his eyes, but Sam’s reaction makes me laugh the hardest. It’s like, “You were so close to getting through that without insulting your spouse, again”.

It’s Dean, Sam. Part of working relationships is working on them, communicating, sharing feelings and emotions.

He’s a walking advertisement for therapy and early intervention. You aren’t going to change that with a withering stare.

They ride in silence, which is weirding Sam out because the tension is thick. He tries the radio, but Dean doesn’t want it. He’d rather stew. And Cas stews with him.

Because this plays into one of the funniest and most consistent push/pulls between these two—Dean’s determination to sacrifice himself and Cas’ mission to protect him. And, yes, we know this goes both ways.

Kinda like Dean, am I right!?

ahem

“Alright, guys, you know what? This silent treatment thing, it’s silly. Its not gonna work. Whatever we’re walking into, we should, you know, probably have an actual plan.” “What do you want to know? “Oh, he speaks.” “Enough.”

This is so the couple in your life are arguing and you’re trying to get them to calm the fuck down. Also, Cas’ little glare at the back of Dean’s head is not helping the implied domestic squabble vibe of this scene. Just sayin’.

“Wow. This Benjamin seems like he’s pretty cool. Like he wouldn’t make any half-cocked, knee-jerk choices.” “Yeah, you know what I like about him is that he is sarcastic, but he’s thoughtful and appreciative, too.” “Now, what is that supposed to mean?”

Oh. My. Gosh. These two are totally married.

Dean has actually turned around in his seat to face Cas, completely ignoring the road. And neither of them is backing down. Poor Sam has to be the voice of reason.

And the camera swoop!? Normally we get the camera swoop between these two when Cas appears behind him or when Cas is there as backup. It’s often something that brings us comfort because of its familiarity.

This time, we’re breaking the convention because these two are in each other’s faces even if one’s in the backseat. They’re still connected by that blasted cord, even though right now they’d rather be annoyed with one another.

This isn’t brotherly, y’all. We have Sam and Dean to give us plenty of reference points for how Dean argues with a brother. This is something else and Dean doesn’t even see it.

They even added a horn sound to show that Dean’s driving is making others nervous outside the car. Bro, stop focusing on your argument with an Angel and keep your eyes on the road.

“She’s… his… friend.”

Sam, this is a wild choice. Like, “Lover” or something else more affectionate is right there, and if any Winchester would reach for it, it would be you. But you went with “Friend” which is technically what both of you call the Angel.

“Ishim said to come alone. He doesn’t like humans. If I plan to do anything else stupid, I’ll let you know.”

This is so bitchy. I love it. More, please.

Cas is looking past Dean so Dean knows without the shady of a doubt that this is for him. It’s catty and it’s direct, and I freakin’ love it. Dean needs a bit of this, sometimes.

“So, is he a hero? Is he a spanner in the works? I don’t know.”

Alright, you can fuck right off, Ishim.

“And you’re gonna storm in riiiiiiiiiight now.”

Dean is pacing outside the restaurant. He doesn’t like this one bit.

“Hey.” {Dean offers a bit of a shit-eating grin} “Dean.” “Feel a little left out over there.”

Cas doesn’t say anything to Sam, because he knows this isn’t Sam’s idea. Sam’s just along for the ride, on this one, as Dean determinedly tries to smash them all into a single booth, practically sitting in Castiel’s lap.

And before Dean’s even sat down, Ishim clocked it. Because Dean is zeroed in on Cas, and Castiel only chides Dean.

No doubt, since they know who the Winchesters are, they’ve heard legend of Destiel. I mean, almost every demonic or celestial being they come into contact with has some understanding of what’s going on, here, even if it’s not the complete picture.

“These are my friends. My friends who don’t listen very well.”

Dean almost looks proud with that little smirk and glance over. Jackass.

“You know, when I knew Castiel, he was a soldier. He was a warrior. He was an Angel’s Angel. Now, look how far he’s fallen.” “How about a little coffee with that sugar?”

Ishim’s been talking shit to Cas the whole time, but Dean doesn’t know that. All he knows is that he rolls up in here to see what’s going down and finds some dick Angel talking down to his Angel. It pisses him off.

And Ishim’s making mental note of it. He’s building the narrative in his head.

He sees in Cas and Dean him and Lily Sunder, for better or worse. But, he sees it—Castiel’s human weakness isn’t humanity. It’s Dean.

Only difference is that in this case, it’s love rather than obsession on Castiel’s part, and—though he won’t realize it until way too late—Dean has loved Cas for years.

No, I’m not going to get into what kind of love right now because it doesn’t matter. But Dean Winchester loves Cas in a way he loves nobody else. That’s just a fact.

And Ishim sees he’s pushed the right button. He glances from Dean to Cas and starts in on another round of insults.

“No wings. No home. Just a ratty old coat and a pair of poorly trained monkeys.” “Oh, well, you can go to Hell.” {Ishim smiles}

Ishim is poking at the pain points. He has his suspicions, but he wants confirmation. And he likes being a dick.

Dean glares at this fucker the whole time (until he mentions pie). Anything he was feeling toward Cas on the way here is melting away because Defender Dean is activated.

“Why do you let him talk to you like that? … I get that we need Super Dick there, but, I mean, come on.” “The Angels that I served with are being killed, so I will put up with Ishim, I will put up with everything else, and so will you. I have to go.”

This is so couple-coded. Like, “Honey, yes that asshole at the company Christmas party was sexist, but I need to make partner before I take him to HR”.

“You don’t owe them an explanation.” “Okay, hang on now. Uh, one eyed willy back there wasn’t trying to kill us. She was after you, so talk before she kicks in the damn door.”

It’s that “Choose Castiel, them or us” and it’s always really Dean. It’s about Dean. And Castiel will always choose Dean.

“They won’t understand.” “Cas, what’s going on?”

They even did the camera swoop from Ishim to Dean. It’s always going to be Dean. Give it a rest, Ishim.

“We’ll find her. Me and Sam.” “No, Dean.” “Cas, she doesn’t care about us, okay?”

Everything else from earlier has melted away. No, it’s not forgotten, but as long as there’s some magic-wielding, badass bitch with a blade gunning for his Angel, Dean’s going to put that shit to the side and charge into battle.

Or… a plea for mercy, as the case may be.

“Are you saying that those angels deserved to die? You think I deserve to die?” “No. No. That’s not what he’s saying.” “What is he saying?”

Have you ever had to be the translator for someone you love? Because while Sam cares about Cas, Dean knows him better than anyone. Anyone.

And so Dean sees Cas’ confusion and tries to help clarify, to calm him, to help him understand.

“We have to try.” “That’s right. And we’re not askin’.”

I mean, since you were roped into this, you’ve inserted yourself (I’m restraining here, friends, but it is not easy) everywhere Cas didn’t want you.

Damnit. It still came out wrong.

But, yeah, I’m not surprised that Dean “ask questions later” Winchester is going to help Cas whether he wants it or not.

Side Note: Hey, I found his middle name, at last!

“They’re a danger to us, case in point.” “Well my friendship with Sam and Dean has made me stronger.” “You can’t really believe that.”

Yes, he can, dipshit. Love and friendship and community always make us stronger. And that kind of strength isn’t something a bullish bastard with bad manners like you could ever understand.

“See, Cas is our family. So we can’t let you hurt him.”

Dean comes for Cas and immediately notes how worn and tired he is. He sits down on the couch next to Cas, but his positioning is already protective. He has a hand on the couch near Cas’s shoulder, and his positioning shields Cas.

“I think Ishim… I think he’s playing you.”

This is language Dean won’t use lightly. They used it before with the Angel who possessed Sam and Metatron fooling Cas. When they get played, it goes bad.

Dean helps Castiel to stand. Cas doesn’t have to ask. Dean’s there for him without him needing to ask when they’re actually on the same page.

“Who are you gonna believe? Your brother? Or some filthy ape who’s always talking down to you. Always mocking you?”

No, that would be you, feathers-for-brains.

“You know, Cas and I might not agree all the time, but at least he knows who his real friends are.”

I find the continued use of the two-shot of Cas and Dean here fascinating.

We’re racking focus between them based on what the coverage needs, but it lends a very “us vs you” quality to the scene, very clearly delineating that there’s no conflict for Cas—he didn’t need to be asked to choose this time.

It’s always going to be Dean.

“Who is he to question my choices? Who is he to question yours?” “Well, it seems that some of my choices may need to be questioned.

Growth. Because back in Season 6, Castiel was so convinced he was doing the right thing that even when Dean begged him to see otherwise, he couldn’t. Now, we see it’s an Angel problem.

And it’s another way where Castiel has stepped closer to Humanity. Not just in keeping company with the Winchesters, but in the way he thinks and the way he lives.

Castiel is presently neither Human or entirely Angel, but his own blend of two opposing forces made one through chemistry and devotion.

In short: Love changes us.

Not just romantic love, to be clear. All love changes us.

I still remember my first grade teacher. We recently reconnected on Facebook 34 years later (ugh, I’m old). I used to stay the night at her house and she taught me to make clay beads, paper mache face masks, to garden, to look at the stars and moon through a telescope, to hike in the woods.

I’ve thought back on those days over and over during the years when thinking of how to raise my own children—of what I wanted them to experience differently from how I grew up.

I had one beautiful year knowing that woman, and her love helped shape how I love my children all these years later.

Never discount the power of love.

“I used to envy you, Castiel. You believe that? You survived Hell. You were chosen by God. But now look at you. You’re just sad and pathetically weak.” “So, now, I’m gonna help you. I’m gonna cure you of your human weakness same way I cured my own—by cutting it out.”

Yup. Ishim thinks Cas loves Dean. I mean, we knew this. But if Dean’s listening in any manner to this conversation while he’s making that sigil on the wall, he knows it, too.

Dean’s ready with the sigil, and it gives the schmuck pause. But, he points out very quickly that poor Castiel is injured, and Dean might want to think twice about that particular move.

Ishim is a technician at isolating weakness. He’s now using Dean’s against him.

“You held him for long enough.”

This isn’t remotely a Destiel moment, but it’s one of my favorites of the episode. Lily thinks Ishim is going to finish her off, but the injured Castiel is able to stand long enough to kill a fellow Angel right in front of her.

She knows they were in the same group of Angels—that Castiel was part of the team that killed her daughter. But here he is, taking out the Angel trying to kill her.

There’s such awe in her eyes, as she sees that everything Dean and Sam said about Castiel is true. He doesn’t feel like other Angels. What he and the Winchesters has is real.

He falls to his knees as she still watches him, struggling to wrestle with her desire for revenge and adjusting to what she just witnessed.

These humans were willing to attack Ishim to protect her and Castiel. And then Castiel was willing to kill one of his own because he knew it was the right thing in the moment.

It’s hard when something rocks your reality. Dean will experience that in S15E18. But that’s a story for another time.

“He’s dead. Are you done?” “Revenge is all I’ve had for over 100 years. It’s all I am.” “Wrong answer. You’re done.”

OOoh, the parallels!! The parallels! Who else do we know who thinks that all they are is something dark and twisted?

“Dean.”

Dean says nothing, but acknowledges Cas. He doesn’t see the side-eye Cas casts him, but Lily does. She looks back to Cas.

“I’m sorry. I was wrong. And while its true that I didn’t know we were killing an innocent, ignorance is no excuse. I truly can’t imagine the depths of your loss.”

Castiel stands and walks within arm’s distance. He’s giving her plenty of space to stab him dead, right there.

It’s an important gesture—he’s offering himself up to pay for what he did. Yes, he didn’t know… but he still did the wrong thing. And he’s willing to pay the price.

“This was your child. I can’t imagine the pain. So if you leave here and you find that you can’t forgive me, I’ll be waiting. “Thank you.”

Lily has tears rolling down her cheeks. She said that every time she uses the Enochian magic, she burns more of her soul away. And right here, with his words, Castiel saves what’s left of this woman’s soul.

Because in him she sees what she’s never seen in an Angel before—remorse. Penance. The understanding that he was wrong and that being an Angel doesn’t absolve him from guilt or consequences.

And I’m thinking of S15E18—another time when Cas’ words heal what is broken. Yes, he’s a soldier. A warrior of God.

But the very things that make him different, the things that other Angels see as cracks and weaknesses—the things that make him more human—are the things that connect with us.

Love is what Ishim viewed as weakness. But love is what allowed Castiel to connect with Lily here, at the end. Love is what binds him to the Winchesters. And love will someday heal a profound brokenness in Dean.

At the start of this episode, Dean was annoyed with Cas—that his “caring” about them was going to get them in trouble. But, now they’ve gone through this whole episode where his ability to care is what saved the day.

Seriously, this is one of my favorite episodes not just because I’m a Destiel girly, but because of the way the themes, the characters, and their journeys are so effortlessly woven together.

“You earned it.” “This will do very little for me, but I appreciate the gesture.”

Dean pats his shoulder affectionately.

“What Ishim said, you’re not weak, Cas. You know that, right?” “I mean, obviously, you’ve changed, but it’s all been for the better, man.” “And you have been with us every step of this long, crazy thrill ride. And no matter how crazy it got, you never backed down.”

This reads as a lover checking in—making sure that his Angel knows how much he valued and doesn’t take the words of some asshole to heart.

“Cas, I don’t like how the whole Billie thing went down, okay? I know you thought you were doing the right thing. And I’m not mad. I’m worried. Because things like “cosmic consequences” have a habit of biting us in the ass.” “I know they do. But I don’t regret what I did, even if it costs me my life.”

They’re finally having a mature conversation about this. Because, let’s be honest, neither of them knows how to do this whatever it is.

Dean’s had some semi-long-term relationship stuff, yes. But not with someone who’s a part of their world and knows everything, I mean everything he’s done, good and bad. And Castiel’s an Angel shoe allegiances and alliances have determined whatever relationships he had.

Their relationship is something else that remains unnamed, to me. Like, I might comment on which labels seem to apply at a given moment in the story, but ultimately, I like that their relationship is theirs.

The Winchester parents were paired up by Cupid. God had a hand in ensuring their relationship. Destiel is the polar opposite of that—God didn’t see this one coming. And, frankly, I think it pisses him off.

From the moment he told Cas, “You’re not in this story” and Castiel said they were “Making it up as we go”, we knew that Dean and Cas are different. (Yes, Sam, too, but that’s not part of this particular point)

Castiel is a spanner in the works. And the Winchester boys are the most defiant of any universe—the ones who assert their free will time and time, again, despite Chuck’s best efforts.

Destiel doesn’t need labels to exist. Castiel loves Dean. Yes, we know it blossoms to a romantic love. And Dean loves Cas in a way he’s never loved another being. It just is.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself…

“So, what are you gonna do if you find Kelly and, uh, Lucifer Jr?” … “But, Cas, at the end of the day it’s a mom and her kid. I mean, do you think you’ll be able to…” “There’s a time when I wouldn’t have hesitated. But now, I don’t know.”

It’s not a great answer, but it’s an honest one. My Dad likes to say, “My favorite answer is ’I don’t know’ because then you can learn something new. You can figure it out, research, seek knowledge. It’s a perfectly valid answer".

“So, what are we gonna do?”

We. Us. Maybe everything isn’t forgiven, but they aren’t going to pass wordlessly in the halls, anymore. They’re aligned, again.

Everything in this episode showed that no matter how pissed they get at one another, Dean and Cas find their way back. They always find their way back.

S12E11 -

“Look, we can figure this out, alright? Don’t go calling Mom or Cas with this.”

Dean knows precisely who Sam would have on speed dial when something goes sideways. The Mom and the Boyfriend.

Like, seriously, Dean’s emergency contact list is short, but it’s intimate.

“And, our best friend’s an Angel!”

Really? A handprint is what reminded you of that!? And seeing it’s a bloody handprint makes me all the more heartbroken thinking about S15E18. Ugh, now I’m sad, again.

“My name is Dean Winchester. Sam is my brother. Uh, Mary Winchester is my mom. And Cast- Cas is my best friend.”

These are the things he’s holding onto tightest—the people who matter most to him in the world. Sam. Mom. Cas. He’s trying so hard to hold on.

And, as someone whose Mother-in-Law is suffering from dementia and getting worse and worse, this was a hard episode to watch. Because while Dean got happy without the burdens, my MIL is angrier and harsher, and I’m the one who she’s cast as the villain.

It’s not uncommon with dementia patients, and it’s not my first time with a family member to go through this. But for my husband, it’s devastating. I might tell him to skip this episode when he starts watching the show, again.

Oh! Matt watched the first three seasons back in the day during the first-run. I caught some over his shoulder, then, but it didn’t really stick. Since I’ve been talking his ear off, he’s considering diving back in. I think he’d enjoy it!

S12E12 -

“And how ’bout you, handsome?”

The Winchesters are a little taken aback. But, c’mon, y’all, the blue eyes? The disheveled adorableness? There are women who would kill for a night with that.

And as I write it, I’m suddenly hoping all these boys have good security systems in their homes in real life. Because, yeah, stalkers are a real thing and after watching my mom go through it, I can say yikes.

Admire from afar, my friends. Admire from afar.

And Castiel orders something, even though he doesn’t eat. More than likely, one of the others is going to take the food from him to polish off after eating theirs.

“Oh, dude, she is into you.” “Dean.” “No, this is good. We’ve been looking for teachable moments.”

Bro, last time you thought a chick was into him he ended up babysitting. You might not be the best at guiding Cas through the dating world.

Plus, Mom’s trying to subtly get you to stop because she long ago clocked the Angel’s puppy dog eyes for you.

Also, this table conversation is mad reminding me of my favorite family dinner scene in the history of cinema—from While You Were Sleeping. Like, this feels so real and lived-in and earned.

It’s delightful, and I don’t know if it’s writing or directing or both that’s responsible, but I adore it.

“You look like hammered crap.” “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

Dean’s trying to keep it light, because that’s how he gets through all the shit of life. But as soon as he glimpses Cas’ stomach, he sees how bad it is. The Angel isn’t healing, and it’s only getting worse.

“Dean, something’s wrong. I can’t heal myself. I think the, I think the demon’s spear was poisoned. I don’t- I think I’m dying.”

Cue Ackles on that damn lip quiver. Seriously, man, are you trying to kill us? It’s sad enough the Angel’s dying and you need to add to the body count?

Try as he might to stay strong for Cas, he can see how bad it is, and calls Sam over.

“If you’re an Angel, you just rot away. Sorry, Castiel.” “No, no. There’s a cure. There’s always a cure, and we will find it.”

Damn your eternal optimism, Dean.

“Hey, I was growing fond of the choir boy, too.” “Shut up, shut up.”

Dean isn’t ready to say goodbye to Cas. No way. No how.

“Cas, how bad is it?” {Cas shows his chest, covered in lines} “Crowley’s right. You should go.” “Cas, come on.” “No, you listen to me. You, thank you. Thank you. Knowing you, it, it’s been the best part of my life.”

Cas is casting his eyes around to everyone. This isn’t the intimate goodbye of S15E18. He isn’t trying to single out Dean, even though it’s there. He’s saying goodbye to his family.

“The things we’ve shared together, they have changed me.”

He’s looking at Dean for this one, and the editing choices confirm it—this is for Dean. “You changed me, Dean”.

Mary looks from Cas to Dean to see her boy’s reaction, and she sees him absorbing the words, trying not to feel the pain as Castiel struggles to breathe.

“You’re my family. I love you.”

Cas looks away on that last bit. He looks away, but the camera shows us Dean in this moment. Two episodes earlier, he said that Cas “cared” about them, but maybe Dean didn’t realize how much.

Maybe he didn’t realize the kind of love an Angel was capable of—but Castiel isn’t any old Angel.

“I love all of you.”

Cas looks to Sam first, but then to Dean. And the reverse shot here is Dean, looking down at a dying Cas, lip quivering. We’ll finally see Sam, again, after we see Dean. Moose is sad to lose the Angel, too.

But Sam will always know how much harder it hits Dean. Every time.

And all of these cuts between Cas and Dean are intentional, as are the shots of Mary looking from her son to this Angel, who means so much to him, who her actions injured.

Editing is an art. It’s a skill. There’s a reason there are awards for it because it’s storytelling.

Some folks think all the storytelling happens on the page or on the screen or both. And much as I love writers and wholeheartedly believe they still don’t get their due, everyone involved in a production is some sort of storyteller.

Lights tell a story. Where they are. Where they aren’t.

Costuming tells a story. What a character wears. Their state of mind. Their motivations and needs.

Set dressing tells a story. What matters to these characters and what doesn’t? What do they preserve and what do they let go?

So when I say Editing tells a story, you better believe I mean in. How a scene is cut together matters. Now, yes, the shots themselves and coverage are determined way ahead of time.

There may be storyboarding, discussions with the Director of Photography and working with the Director of a given episode to achieve their vision. Not to mention adjustments made on-the-fly once you’re actually setting up the scene.

But the Editors have a hand in this story, too. Some Directors lean over their Editors a lot, and some don’t. No clue which is the case in this episode. But if you look at all these shots during Castiel’s death speech, how they’re edited together says the things unsaid.

This is the “subtext” Destiel shippers caught onto long, long ago. So much of their story is told simply in how the scenes are lovingly stitched together.

We aren’t trying to read into something that isn’t there. We’re simply following the breadcrumbs to what appears to be a logical conclusion.

From Cas to Dean. Mary looking from Cas to Dean, not to Sam. Dean to Cas.

Yes, there are shots of Sam in there, but the shots that correspond with the dialogue are leading us somewhere. We’re simply following the breadcrumbs.

“Just please, please don’t make my last moments be spent watching you die. Just run. Save yourselves. And I will hold Ramiel off as long as I can.”

Oh, Cas. “I’ll hold them all off” with the archangels. “Run” with the Leviathans. Asking Dean to leave him alone as soon as he found the Angel in Purgatory. Even as he’s dying, he wants to save them.

Again, and again, and again. Protecting the Winchesters is his greatest mission.

“Cas, no.” “Yes. You need to keep fighting.” “We are fighting. We’re fighting for you, Cas.”

Aw, Sammy. Not gonna let your brother’s boyfriend die. Love the support!

“And like you said, you’re family. And we don’t leave family behind.”

To me, this is the moment Mary fully registers what Castiel means to her boy, even if Dean doesn’t see it himself, yet. Cas is next to her, trying not to cry.

Because this is love. Is it the romantic love he believes he’ll never receive from Dean? No. But there are many kinds of love, and Cas doesn’t need reciprocal love to love Dean. He simply… loves him.

But that “for love” Castiel talks about in S15E18? This is one of those times the Angel gets to witness Dean’s “for love” being “for Cas”. And that’s damn powerful.

Castiel starts to cry. Not the tears of agony or heartbreak, but of love. There have been many times when Dean’s love has shone through, that Cas has witnessed.

But I don’t think he’s ever felt it as acutely as he did here.

Look how Cas is locked on Dean in that moment. Remember, he’s an Angel. And he can see into Dean. This is a “heart choice” and it’s for Cas.

Once healed, the Winchester boys help Cas up, but once he’s on his feet, Cas only has eyes for Dean. And Dean looks back like he can’t believe it. While Sam releases Cas’ hand fairly quickly, Dean and Cas linger on one another’s as Dean pats Cas’ back.

Mary is about to fess up when Castiel asks what Ramiel meant about someone stealing from him, but Dean’s just happy to have Cas back, and his gaze and voice are so soft.

Mary clamps down—but not before she notices the intense staring going on between these two. She realizes what she almost did, what she almost took from her son. Indirectly, yes, but that was too damn high a price.

“Let’s go home.”

Home. Home is sometimes a place. Sometimes a person. But always a feeling.

“I almost lost one of my boys.”

This woman loves her son-in-law. Like, from moment one, she clocked something going on between Cas and Dean, and in only her second episode, Castiel was the one trying to offer her comfort, to tell her she belonged.

Cas and Dean have their falling outs, yes, but they find their way back. And this time, it was her actions and her secrets that nearly tore them apart. She doesn’t want to risk that, again. How could she look her son in the eye?

S12E14 -

“You were running an errand for the Brits. You kept it from us. Cas almost died.”

Always gonna be Dean to bring up his sweetheart.

“I am your mother. But I am not just a mom. And you are not a child.” “I never was.”

Damn, this hurts. The stories I could tell you… the things that happen when you childhood ends at 5, for Dean, or 6, for me.

“And this whole peacemaker schtick that you've been running, first with Cas, now with Mom. It’s getting old, man.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “You’re always playing the middle, Sam. For once, why don’t you pick a side?”

Y’know what, Dean, your brother has your back through so much bullshit. And while you’re all black-and-white, pick-a-side, Sam has a view that leans grey and mediated. He doesn’t have to always agree with you to have your back.

But, I mean, I hate your mother, so there’s that, I guess.

And, again, no hate against the actress. She does a lovely job. But I could chuck the character off the page in two seconds flat and show zero remorse. Good thing I’m not writing her arc, eh? It’d be two pages long and so boring.

We need the conflict, I get it. But, personally, I can still want to tell her off.

S12E15 -

Cas meets that other Angel who gets him to betray Dean… again.

“Look, you’ve got more field experience than the next thousand angels combined.” “I think you overestimate me.”

This Angel is poking at him. Sure, you’ve got the Winchesters, but why not work with us, too? Yeah, this place is nice, but don’t you miss home?

“He sound weird to you?”Oh, Dean, your Castiel Sense has come a long way. And the last time you ignored your Castiel Tingle (nope… we gotta find another word for that) he turned out to be Lucifer.

So, that means you’re going to follow up, right? Right?!

Yeah, no. This is Dean Winchester. Move on to the next Monster of the Week, Lady of the night, and Beer of the hour.

S12E16 -

“Killing monsters is what we do. Or maybe paling around with demons and witches, you’ve forgotten.” “Don’t tell me how to do my job.” “Well, then do it.” “You think it’s that simple, do you?” “I really do.” “Yeah, I used to think the same thing. Here’s a little tip. Things aren’t just black and white out here.”

Yes, Dean. Yes. Finally showing that frickin’ growth you’ve been working at.

And, like Cas with the Angels, trying to pass on that earned growth without all the scars to another Hunter. Well, British Man of Letters, but close enough.

S12E17 -

“Hey, you hear anything from Cas, yet?” “Mm. No. Still MIA.” “You think he’s alright?” “I don’t know.”

Stupid Cas worrying his stupid boyfriend. Call him, Cas! Geez Louise!

S12E18 -

“Cas, it’s me. I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for days. I don’t know what’s going on, but we got a line on Dagon, and we got our asses handed to us even with the colt. So, we could really use the backup. Just call me back.”

Dean’s getting worried. You can hear it in his voice. Who knows how many messages he’s left, how many times he’s texted to no avail.

Also, try praying. Even if he’s out of cell service, he’s not outta prayer coverage!

“So, no luck with Cas, huh?” “Yeah, still AWOL.” “Alright, so let’s find him.” “I’ve been trying, Sam. The GPS on his phone is turned off, and there’s nothing in the system about some weird guy in a trench coat getting arrested or turning up dead.” “Dean, it’s Cas. I mean, this isn’t the first time he’s dropped off the map, you know? And whatever’s happening, he’ll be fine. He always is.” “Yeah.”

Now Sam is in comfort mode, knowing Dean’s been looking for Dead Cas. That’s how worried Dean is—he thinks Cas is gone gone.

And this is the episode where the table gets its first scratches as the boys leave their marks. I love the moments where we remember they are brothers not just brothers who hunt and save the world and doom the world and try to save it, again.

Like, the little human moments like this are what reminds us of their love for one another and that they do have some good moments together. Not just, y’know, shared generational trauma.

S12E19 -

“Let me rephrase that for Sam. Where the hell have you been. And why have you been ignoring our phone calls?”

Ooh, boyfriend is pissed you’re screening his calls, babe.

“It’s a gift. You keep those.”

I’m sorry. Is that… a mixtape!? Dean made a mixtape of his favorite songs for his boyfriend? Like, yes, Castiel is using this as an excuse to enter the room and carry out his latest betrayal.

But, Dean, you gotta level with me. How many of your guy friends have you made a mixtape for?

I mean, I’m old enough I made mixtapes on my boombox from the Top 40 that played on the radio. I’d memorize the order and know when to push down “record” to get the ones I loved.

But I wasn’t gonna share them with my brother. This is boyfriend behavior, Mr. Winchester, and you have some explaining to do!

“Cas you can’t… With everything that’s going on, you can’t just go dark like that. We didn’t know what happened. We were worried. That’s not okay.”

Oh, this aches. Dean is actually leveling with Cas and being honest. And I know Cas wishes he could be honest, back, but he thinks he’s protecting Dean by not including him.

It’s one of those lessons Cas just doesn’t quite learn—Dean would rather be in deep shit with you than in the dark. He’d rather be facing down the monsters by your side than stumbling blind.

Stop cutting your boyfriend out of the equation just because you’re afraid he might get hurt!

“Dean, I just keep failing. Again and again… I just wanted - I needed to come back here with a win for you. For myself.” {Dean turns} “You think you’re the only one rolling snake eyes here?”

This reminds me of, “I look like good luck to you?” Same vibes. Maybe Cas used that as the template for this whole conversation.

“We will find a better way.” “You mean we?” [motions between them} “Yes, dumbass, we. You, me, and Sam, we’re just better together. So now that you’re back, let’s go Team Free Will”

I’m sorry, Dean, but where the hell is the personal space?

“It was under my pillow. … He came into my room and he played me.”

I’m sorry. Phrasing.

Also, what are you doing telling your boy-toy you sleep with the colt under your pillow? How did Cas even know about it? When did you tell him? What was the context of this conversation? And when did you start telling Cas things you don’t tell Sam?

Like, look, I’m not unhappy you’re breaking away from that super co-dependent relationship that is literally holding you both back while at the same time preserving you in ways that separating cannot. But, I wish we got to see it.

“How did you find us?” “While you were scamming me for the colt, Sam put a tracking device on your phone.”

Ah, yes. One of you has half a braincell, and it ain’t the one blinded by love.

“I wanted to keep you out of this. I was trying to keep you safe.” “You’re not our babysitter, Cas, okay? This is not your job. {Cas reaction} And when in our whole lives have we ever been safe?”

Honestly, I don’t think Dean’s ever been loved like this. Think about it. Nobody was there to protect Dean.

Dean was the protector—the one constantly watching out for Sammy. And, now, he tries hard to protect Cas, too. But he’s not used to someone protecting him because he feels like that’s his job.

But nobody knows more than Castiel that even the great Dean Winchester sometimes needs saving.

“Dagon is after Kelly. Your truck is broke down. Why don’t we get in the Impala, we’ll head back to the bunker and we’ll talk. We’ll figure it out.”

The shots tighten after he says this. Cas, then Dean. It’s always a battle of wills with these two. And in this moment, Cas relents.

"I betrayed my friends… my family.”

Note he talks about “two of my men” for those who call him “brother” but he no longer sees the Angels as his family. He sees Dean and Sam as his family.

“Well he hasn’t exactly had a banner year… everything’s blowing up in his face and he’s so desperate for a win right now he can’t even see straight.”

Why are they so alike!? Dean takes the Mark of Cain and straight up murders a buncha people, then Sam’s able to get the Mark off only to unleash the fucking Darkness, and now Castiel’s on the lamb with the President’s mistress and the spawn of Satan.

Yeah, fun club you’ve got, boys. I heartily decline membership.

Later, Castiel straight up smites Dagon. The moment the power flows from Kelly’s hand to Cas, Dean sees it. It’s Dean who immediately spies something is up with Cas.

“You’re hurt.”

Even when they’re at odds, he’s going to heal Dean. And it’s fascinating that he reaches for his arm, here, his and Dean’s hands barely touching as he does. His fingers wrap around Dean’s arm when they don’t need to.

“Whatever that thing did to you, we’re not gonna just let you walk away.”

Dean has seen Cas lobotomized. He’s seen him possessed. He’s seen Cas go through so many horrible things, and he wants to stop this before it gets bad. But, it’s too late.

With a touch, Sam’s out. And as he reaches for Dean, all the human can mutter is “Don’t” before he’s out and headed to the ground.

S12E20 -

“So, last night, that Super Mario power up crap? That wasn’t Cas. That freakin’ baby isn’t even born, yet, and it sock-puppeted him.”

This makes sense, based on every other time he’s seen Cas a little off. There was Godstiel, there was Naomi mind control, and there was Casifer. I mean, when it comes to being controlled by other beings, Cas has a reputation.

And it always goes badly.

“Look, this doesn’t make any sense to me, either, Dean, but if we wanna have some shot at finding Cas, then we have to, I don’t know. Uh, try and think like him?”

Look at poor Dean. He is worried. They survive Casifer and all that bullshit for Cas to up and disappear to then con him of the Colt, then he goes AWOL with Satan’s semen.

“How? I mean, seriously. Up until now if Cas messed up, if he did something wrong, but he thought it was for the right reasons, I got it. Right? But last night when I looked at him, I did not recognize the guy staring back at me.”

I mean, to be fair, Castiel didn’t look constipated, concerned, or confused, so I guess that would make him harder to recognize.

“Even if you can’t swing by, can you call me back? Just some stuff going down that’s got me spun out.”

He can’t shake the Cas stuff. He never could. And now he really wants his mom to be there for him to talk about his boy troubles.

Which is such a fun reversal from earlier in the season when he was gabbing with his Angel guy about his Mom troubles.

S12E22 -

“Y’know, it won’t long ago I thought we had it made. We saved the world. We got Cas back. We had Mom back. I mean, it wasn’t perfect, but, still, we had ’em. And now.” “Now they’re all gone.”

Ouch. I mean, just ouch. I mean, yeah, Mom stuff’s a bit worrisome, but Castiel is in the wind, not in the ground. You can still get him back.

“Yup. Big. Beautiful. And Dumb.”

Dean describing the weapon… or was he describing himself? Hmmm.

S12E23 -

“Dean.”

I just love how the little Angel only needs to acknowledge Dean. He sees the others, of course. This is his family. But it’s always gonna be Dean.

“We’ll work through our crap. We always do.”

This aches. It reminds me of Season 7 all over again when Cas assured Dean in episode 1 that he would redeem himself, that he would find a way. And then he dies.

This time, Dean says that he and Castiel will get through it because they always do. He knows that he and Cas will find their way back to one another, even if their paths diverge, sometimes. And this is important.

Because that cord between them is so strong now it feels almost impenetrable. That while their lives may take them away from one another at times, they are connected and that bond cannot be broken.

Dean has no idea how easily the right kind of blade can severe a cord completely when wielded in weighty hands. He goes into this situation knowing the odds, but thinking they’ll come out of it, fine.

And after they figure it out, they can talk it out. After they get through this latest horror, they can yell at each other and make amends.

All they need is time.

Oh, Dean, you think you have time. But time is running out, faster than you know.

“I have faith in us. You. Me. Mom. Cas. And Crowley. Sometimes.”

While, yes, the core of this show is the brothers—and it always has been—this is a moment when Dean is recounting those closest to them. And right behind his blood family is Cas.

Dean shouts when the knife pierces Cas and he sees his Angel die. He’s devastated when his Mom disappears into the closing portal with Lucifer. And while Sam has the wherewithal enough to go check on Kelly, Dean can’t tear himself from Castiel’s side.

He drops to his knees next to the body of his closest friend, his best friend, his almost something. And all those words he thought they’d have time to say die on his lips.

Something within him dies with them.

When he lost Cas to the Leviathans, he was shaky. When he lost him to Purgatory, he was devastated. When he watched him die and come back to life when he was human-ish, he nearly stroked out.

But this time, he’s shattered. Dean is shattered. The pieces are strewing everywhere and he can’t pull it back together.

Yes, part of this is his Mom. We’re not going to pretend that doesn’t hurt something awful. But it’s not all her. A lot of it is Cas.

Looking for Part V? It’s here! Thank you for reading!

[inventors-fair]

Flavor Land Commentary: Homeward Bound

What's in a land? A permanent without any other casting requirements would be just as hard to design.

Lands really are difficult to design, especially because of expectations and rules not really inherent to any other card type. Without a cost, the balance of them is mostly based on rarity and utility. Land destruction has been a staple of the game since its inception, of course, but is it necessarily fun? I don't know about that; I'd rather keep these things around. And so would the people that live there.

I think the strengths of this week were centered around people's connections to the worlds they were making, and the difficulties centered around connecting what a land should feel like with what a land should do. Mood was not a challenge this week at all. People knew what they wanted to get out of their land—mystery, time, civilization, abandonment—and the real challenge was making a design that fulfilled that to the best of the prompt. I feel that people were focused on one side or the other, and that left me wanting a little more equilibrium sometimes. But that's the challenge of these contests, and I hope that future land/flavor designs will strive for more of these strengths that I saw last week!

There are a couple JUDGE PICKS this week for cards that I wanted to commend for being pretty close to the top and/or for a specific design aspect that I wanted to highlight. Read on?

@bergdg — Mon'Telu Old-Growth

I feel that the trigger should go before any of the abilities, even if it is an end step trigger, because it tells you how to get the growth counters on the land before any of the other uses for it. Also, it should probably be "...of your end step, if this land is untapped, put a growth counter on it." instead of the current wording. The way that this card shakes up fully feels like it's trying to do two different things, and while it's not incongruous, I feel that the first mana ability didn't necessarily need to have the GG aspect. Two growth counters for Manamorphose'd mana is perfectly fine, and could've even been its own activated ability. There's a lot of magic in the old growth, sure; there's also something to be said for streamlining the ideas.

Not knowing too much about Muraganda, I feel that I can meet this card halfway regardless. Imagining the overflowing life on Muraganda feeding its wild creatures makes this plant theming feel like it's embracing the slowness and steadiness of prosperity. As a really slow land, like, I get where you want to come from with how the relationship between Mon'Telu and the life around it is realized in paper. It's a fairly straightforward symbiotic story, right? I wonder if the end step trigger for growth counters is something that fully represents the growth, though—but the argument is pretty clearly that be not expending energy, it has room to grow. That much makes sense. I don't know if it exactly translates to the best gameplay, but it makes sense.

~

@bowtochris — Victory Garden

There's certainly a lot of text on this card. Getting essentially a zero-mana food as early as turn one isn't going to boost the Affinity meta, but I will say that it's possible there's unintended artifact synergies to be had with it. All of these abilities are totally reasonable on their own, and the Food only goes so far with the need to get more Soldiers; I like the way that this land encourages you to find ways to make more artifact tokens by virtue of both benefiting from mana fixing and getting Soldier tokens as they're needed. I think it's actually a good thing that you can't really get more artifacts through the land itself, and you're encouraged to build around that in order to fully utilize this land.

The history of Victory Gardens did make me remember some of my civics and history lessons from way back in the day, and the art direction here is quite a bit stranger than I would have pictured. Honestly, with the Americanism of the term, I half-expected this to be a Fallout reference. Maybe it is, I have no idea. But no, it feels situated more in its own reality, some garden in which weird food is abundant. I dunno how I feel about that right now. In general, my favorite part of this card flavorfully is how you have to use artifacts to create Soldier tokens—i.e. the food you grow (and maybe recycled scrap?) helps the front lines. That much is excellently portrayed. And it's good for the mechanics, but possibly bad for the flavor, that the garden doesn't actually have a way to produce food... Like, the one-time entry, sure, but doesn't that seem a little incongruous? I would've found a way to incorporate that first, maybe in a two-part flavor punch: one half makes food, the other half turns food into manpower. You see what I mean?

~

@bread-into-toast — Llanowar Elementary

I think this card does wonders for the mechanical side of things more than it does the flavorful side of things. For this contest, that's probably not the first thing you want to hear. In terms of design principles, I think this card is pretty baller. A tapped land drop that can negate its tapped-ness by giving its abilities to another creature? Awesome. Now I do think that you'd have to change the rules text here because of what backup inherently comes with, but that kind of negation with the addition of powering up a creature is pretty amazing. I think that there's some connection between this and Llanowar Reborn; is getting an ETB +1/+1 counter for zero mana too strong in this case? I'd be willing to risk it because of the fact that you're encouraged not to attack with the creature, but I don't necessarily know.

I do kinda get where the flavor portion was going as well. Maybe it's in the name of the card or the name of the ability that grants the counter, but the notion is doing decently-ish for me. Like, a land that grants a creature a temporary mana ability, such is the power of Llanowar. That's really good! Framing it as an "elementary" feels...strange? Or at least, I don't fully grasp what the name is trying to convey, because it wouldn't make sense for it to be in the same context as school, given American connotations if nothing else. It really is the naming and framing. If this card had a different name and used a general trigger that wasn't backup to give creatures the ability to turn into dorks, I think I would be more receptive.

~

@cthulhusaurusrex — Champion of Stone

As far as the mechanics of this card go, the only real question I have is whether or not this should be an artifact creature, considering that it is a Golem. Manlands with vigilance have been done before, GW manlands have been done before... Dread Statuary is the one that comes to mind here. The fact that it turns on until your next turn is an interesting one, and that actually took me a second before I considered that. Part of that weakness is that it sets up the land for sorcery-speed removal if you're at parity, but if you're not, then you've got some good stuff going for you. I think that in terms of manlands, it's not exactly pushing the envelope too far, but it's pushing it where manlands haven't gone before with that turn cycle stuff. And the fact that you can tap it for mana after blocking... I think this is a curiosity I'd be willing to fight for, if just to see how it playtests.

The flavor text is a fragment, which is the minorest of strikes, but as for what it lends to the story of the card... I don't get the sense of larger scale that accompanies cards like this. I'm getting what the art is putting down, and the flavor text just isn't adding anything for me, because it's already describing the image quite well. So what about the larger world, what about the 'why' of these monuments' awakening? Assume for Magic cards that your audience has some understanding of the general tropes of worlds, and that statues across lands coming to life mean that they're old, they're monument-like, and that there were battles here. That depiction is already front and center—so what can the flavor text add that the card doesn't already tell us? I'm not getting that sense quite yet.

~

@curiooftheheart — Sanctuary of the Forge

I have a lot of feelings about how this card could've worked slightly differently. I don't really know why it needs to be a manland, or if it's really worth having three toughness for six mana, no matter how much the protection of being a manland lets it survive some combat exchanges. I think I understand why you made the devotion clause into a corner case, but I don't think that it really needs to be that way. Like—yes, it would be cool to animate it with another source, and the playtest card Slumbering Waterways is good inspiration. I think it would've been fine to word it with the normal ability-granting wording like how Hive of the Eye Tyrant and company do it, y'know? And maybe for that cost, you could've made Elementals instead of animating, or given a massive buff with your devotion, something like that.

Why does the force of (presumably) Purpohoros need to be animated? The hammer, as shown in original Theros, turns lands into creatures, hammering them into shape, because that's what the tool does. What exactly is the depiction of the forge becoming a creature meant to emulate? It doesn't make any story sense to me, and the mechanical justification feels slightly shaky. Honestly, the problem is that I don't fully understand what your vision for the justification is here. Theros and land animation doesn't meld for me. And what exactly is the "sanctuary of the forge?" The place where the forge belongs? I'm having an even harder time understanding what that's supposed to depict. I want to hear what you had in mind, because I'm really not sure of the "correct" angle.

~

@deg99 — Trigomunda, Vexing Sea

First minor note: "nontoken" is one word. Second: hm. The sea as a land... You know, I'mma go off for a second, but it's wild how "land" as a type semi-inherently discounts bodies of water, but it also makes sense in the mind how water is a magical locus for—whatever, doesn't matter, moving on. This card feels really difficult to get off in a manner that doesn't involve paying six mana. Getting these three lands onto the battlefield (and/or copies of this card) feels like a reward with a fairly minor payoff unless you're pushing this game into its zillionth turn and you're the world's most diabolical control player. But it's not bad! Like, this is a bulk rare card that technically does something rewarding if you get the right setup, but the right setup is so obtuse that you might as well not bother. I don't hate those designs! Are they necessarily "good"? Not always, but the flavor that carries it is what matters.

And I have to hand it to you, this is an admittedly really funny thing to do. "Before attackers are declared, I'm going to put Emrakul in the Bermuda triangle." Come on, that's really funny. Even if you don't have the three lands to do so, paying the cost and Triangle'ing something is pretty awesome, and arguably super strong to do over and over again. I'm going back to the mechanics again because the flavor kinda speaks for itself, but it's just one of those things. Do people remember the Bermuda Triangle? I mean, yeah, and kids still hear about it somehow... I think it's just resonant enough to be funny. It feels like it should be a major story aspect, or at least some kind of place where there'd be a larget mystery, but I guess Zendikar had plenty of those and all I found were some bulk rares.

~

@hypexion — Contested Confluence

I'll be honest: in a flavor-based contest, pushing the mechanical limits of a card to something completely wild like this is a bold choice. Again, I'm formatting these to talk about mechanics first, flavor second, but this card is almost entirely a mechanical challenge. Nothing wrong with that! But you gotta admit, it's pretty crazy. Let's say that you play this as your land, and then you use it turn two per usual, and things go on... At what point is your opponent incentivised to attack it, honestly? I don't know. I really don't know. It's kind of better than something like Gemstone Mines because you can use it during an opponent's turn. It can also have counters removed by dealing direct damage. This is the kind of territory where without playtesting—serious playtesting—I would be remiss to pass any kind of judgement. An attackable land... Hey, why not, right?

But this is flavor-based contest with flavorful cards and it's the flavor that ultimately matters in the end. In that sense, I don't really get why this card has to exist the way that it does. The art description is cool, but doesn't answer that question of what on earth this land is doing for a piece of story. Battlegrounds are usually lands, and depictions of conflicts are usually enchantments when they're not battles... Battles by themselves are honestly really hard to talk about. As cool as they were for travelogue sets, were they really that flavorful on the flip-side? What exactly did a battle represent on board, besides alternate goals, side missions? They were a little odd, and this land is kind of doing the same thing. I feel that the mechanical curiosity of this land actually detracts from a flavorful conversation, but only because the strength of that curiosity is doing a lot of work. I'm a little stumped, in a good way!

~

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes — Flaming Caldera (JUDGE PICK)

This is the second time that I've been talking about mono-red Food production, and it never gets easier, because the inherent argument is that colorless sources get it all the time (that and MH3 did some shenanigans). This land, though, does some pretty interesting things. What I really like is the fact that making the Food, which might have some side benefits in the larget set, kinda mitigates the fact that you're taking a lot of damage from an untapped color-based utility land. I'm not sure why you're specifying nontoken here, though. Most of the time that's to avoid some kind of loop shenanigans, and I get that maybe you could have synergy with animating Food, but as far as lands go, I feel that sacrificing token creatures would be okay here too. I wonder how much the mechanics would go into a larger set's synergy, whether that would be sacrifice, artifacts, Food-centric stuff... Or maybe it could just be a single top-down card, which is fine.

As far as that aspect goes, I think I grok it enough. The fact that it's talking about the Viashino but there's humans depicted in the art is a little odd to me. Perhaps that's trying to say that the humans and Viashino learn from one another, or at least share some tips as far as survival goes? It's hard to parse at the moment. The travel-notes style of flavor text is functional, albeit not lighting my world on fire. Tying the land together with the cooking notion, though, is 1) a pretty great way to make sacrificing creatures for food seem actually pleasant and 2) a stronger argument for why you should allow the player to sacrifice tokens. The major strength of this card is the mood. I feel a connection between landscape and participants—between player action and their relationship to the world as a piece of world. That much is what I want to end off on. Mood is a vital aspect of flavor for these contests.

~

@izzet-always-r-versus-u — Hive of Villainy (JUDGE PICK)

Gotta say, this was a close one. I waffle significantly when it comes to tropes in my MTG worlds. Like, This Town Ain't Big Enough is one of my newer favorite cards, but none of the Duskmourn references landed particularly well for me. This card sits in the former camp! I actually forgot that it was semi-referencing Star Wars until I looked it up just now. I'm getting sidetracked, though. Mechanics time! Three really is the magic number (no pun intended) for these kind of strong effects. Getting to turn on a cheap an evasive manland when you're ahead on board or even at parity means that you can further your presence by holding up removal and interaction to your heart's content. I think the surveiling as an additional bonus is just plain good there, even if it doesn't directly tie in to the ability. There's a small chance that playtesting would reveal 3BB as a better cost for the activation just for balance, but that remains to be seen.

I wish there was a better way to depict manland flavor in general, y'know? Looking at the other black animated Hive, that of the Eye Tyrant... All the D&D lands didn't really lean into the fact that the lands become the creatures, did they. They were more about "this is where the thing lives." I don't particularly jive with that, but that's prejudice because I was raised on Worldwake lands and the fact is that manlands started with "the thing that lives here" e.g. Faerie Conclave or whatever that Urza's one was. The surveiling is what actually increases in flavor when looking at it from that singular perspective, like your outlaws are looking over their shoulder, checking to see if they're being followed. Overall, I'd probably try to make a deck with this card if so inclined, and you can take that to the bank. Not right now, though, it's being robbed!

~

@lanabutnotdelray — Bottomless Storeroom

The mechanics here are fascinating but limited, and I really want to touch on the flavor depth but I'm forcing myself to hold back. Let's see... Sheesh, I don't even know; this one is an absolute head-scratcher of a card, in a super cool way. Heap Gate and Fountainport don't really do a comparison justice, not even Generous Plunderer. It's a massive accelerant, that's for sure, and that's where I feel that the idea is good but would lead to some really busted games. I'm sure that this would do gangbusters in Commander, especially with any token doublers. Imagining this in limited, though, you put your opponents ahead at the same pace as you, and that's kinda harsh.

Scenario: you're on the play, and you play this. Opponent does land-go, and you both create a Treasure at their end step. You use this again on your turn, play a basic, and bam, you get a three-drop out turn two! Problem is, when your opponent goes, they can play a land, then get a FOUR-drop out. It's always going to put them just a little bit ahead mathematically. I think that's the case, anyway, provided that I don't suck at math and/or the Treasures are being used each turn.

Maybe that's just how this card wants to work. Let's put that on the back burner and talk about flavor. Now, I have to interpret that this judge's quote as a little sarcastic, because obviously this is the place where smugglers go. I say that—I had to really dig because I had no idea that this was an actual place on New Capenna! You found an awesome lore piece here, and I do love when specific place names come up on cards. Gives it that little bit of texture to add to the flavor. And—well, maybe "sarcasm" isn't the right word, but it's not a serious quote for sure, very tongue-in-cheek. I'm a little more uncertain about a storeroom vs. loans idea, though. What would exactly be depicted here to show that this storeroom was being used for loans, and by whom? The Riveteers? That feels more like a Broker's thing, but the card is 100% Riveteer-coded IMO. I'm curious where you're drawing that line, because I'm not sure I'm seeing it yet.

~

@misterstingyjack — Quarantine Zone

There's something to be said for land activations like this. Inherently, lands are harder to remove in limited (and I'd argue a majority of casual constructed) than any other card type. Would there be some kind of land destruction to possible mitigate this effect? A land-sacrifice archetype? How many cards? Not even 1% of standard cards have the ability to get the creature back. Maybe it's meant for more powerful formats, and I understand that just fine. Is it still something that's worth trying to balance? Honestly, I don't hate this design. I do think it could use a lot more balancing until there's a sweet spot between what it can get rid of, the cost of it, and if there'd be any way to get it back like how other O-Ring effects work. [Small note: I know it's something that takes a while to get used to but "this land" should take the place of cards names as of FDN.]

The flavor does make a lot of sense for the excising effect that you're trying to accomplish, though. There are a few minor alterations I would do to the phrasing of the flavor text, but you're getting across some pretty great confluence of white's philosophy. The idea that surgical precision is how to heal, rather than—I dunno, magical healing? That's something that white still can use, with targeted removal showing that a lot. It feels a bit more blue, but there's overlap in the specificity, right? I think that there are multiple arguments to be made for how much white's healing process would involve isolation. It's a great sort of last-resort feeling that's not actually a last resort, but more of a needs-of-the-many weight. I wish you had gone into a little more specificity about what the world might look like to sway that mindset, because now you've got me curious about what infected city this is and/or if you had any specifics in mind.

~

@stareyedesper — Omenpath to Shandalar

I don't think I get it. Mechanically, this card is an interesting accelerant, but it sets you back so much afterwards that unless you're getting drastically ahead on board at that time I wouldn't even try to run it. Maybe there's a strategy of which I'm unaware that would mean you want to draw into a land specifically? It's not always what you want, though, especially in limited, and kinda-sorta-not guaranteeing a spell drop is... I don't know, this card frustrates me with that whole library tuck, and either I'm not getting it or the acceleration is more ritual-like and that's the end of it. Honestly, that's what it seems like: a ritual land. You play it, and then tap the land, and as an additional "cost" it'll go into your library. Does that make sense? Maybe there's something broken there but I'm not sure how much thought went into that aspect.

Flavoring it as an unstable omenpath gives it a little more leeway. Still doesn't make me want to play it necessarily, but I understand what the depiction is going for. Reading up on Shandalar makes it makes a little more sense, too. Honestly, I thought it was part of Dominaria for some reason... #fakefan. Anyway. The typing of Omenpath as a land is really curious, and that's one where I welcome arguments from the Vorthos crowd as for whether or not Omenpaths should be flavored as lands, or if they should be depicted as card types at all. They're a little bit of everything, aren't they? But you've made your bed here, and I think I appreciate the experiment that this land is taking with its depiction.

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@tanknspank — Zonot Five

Did I know what I Zonot was before re-wiki-ifying myself? No. Do I want them to be more present on cards now? Absolutely. Seriously, what the heck, they're not in the flavor or name of any cards whatsoever! That's weird. There's so much story in Ravnica and I don't think people appreciate all of it, but whatever, we'll get Rhystic Studies to do something about it. So yeah. Planar Genesis, Kinnan, Coiling Oracle, Growth Spiral, Thrasios, and Kiora's Follower would all like to say something here. I mean...holy crap, the ramp that this card could knock out is absolutely wild. I feel that there's unfortunately a world in which this kind of ramp is a little too much, sorry to say. Not that there aren't workarounds, but as it stands? I'm gonna have to nix this card as printed. There are other iterations where it's a little less wild, but ramp is ramp.

Flavor is flavor, too, and this flavor text isn't filling me with quite as much inspiration as I was hoping for. Still, the fact that this is a standalone Simic card that cares about Simic spells and only Simic spells (flavorfully) is a massive win. There's less xenophobia than there would be in something like the Selesnya, even though you could've flavored it just as well with the hidden nature of what the Simic do in Ravnica's seas. The way that the land ties together with the general notions is pretty good. The flavor text itself is pretty generally 'magical' and I wish there was some kind of language there to really make it feel like a place that belongs to this guild and to these citizens. Put the city into specificity, y'know?

~

@wildcardgamez — Storgard, Frozen Stronghold

It took me a second to really feel what this card was going for. An untapped triland is pretty interesting, albeit a legendary one. The counters are pretty much there forever, which is fine I suppose... Maybe this land just makes me feel a little sad with how it tells its story. Props to that, and we'll get to that in a second. Mechanically, this card isn't exactly exciting, and that's the most I can really say about it. It's cool—ice cold, in fact—and it's fetchable with that one snow-ramp card from Coldsnap whose name I forget. I want to believe that there's a world where ice counters have some kind of significance in a larger set, where you could do things with ice counters on other cards. Are we there yet? Not really, and it would take the context of a set for this card to shine through. Untapped trilands are ultimately intriguing even if they do eventually become wastes.

That's the weird part, isn't it? This whole card is contingent upon the fact that there's the story of the Dominarian ice age. Reading up on it, there's a little more than what this card is depicting with the glaciers, and I honestly wish that I had read up on it before writing this paragraph because there's so much more to what's actually happening. Like, the last of the people are hunkering down, there was a war, there's this massive chunk of Dominarian history being lost, conflict beyond this one empire's desolation... Argh! Honestly, it's a moot point, because the second half of that flavor text loses all the poetic buildup that the first half creates. It's really hard to explain exactly how to create that tension, but I do encourage folks to break from what's known to be effective and to reach into the seat of feeling. Time and loss, strength and inevitability, forces of nature engulfing what is to be abandoned... There's a lot to work with.

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@xenobladexfan — Shrine to the Unknowable 

And so what does this land do for you when you have no creatures out? It's pretty rough to justify a card like this in modern times when lands have so many general regulations for what they're expected to do. A land that does nothing until you get a creature out and then only turns your creatures into Eldrazi-makers isn't conducive to good gameplay. This card feels like it should've been an artifact. And you know what? It would've been an excellent artifact. It would've bridged the gap between decks that care about Eldrazi and the decks that want to run non-Eldrazi creatures for added effect. The fact that this card is a land is a massive detriment to an otherwise excellent effect, which is a real shame. But save it in the design files with some tweaks, I suppose?

On that note, the flavor of non-Eldrazi worshippers wanting to travel the Blind Eternities alongside the titans is pretty darn cool. Like, I really do jive with that notion and I think that this card is depicting a relationship that I find generally neat across all kinds of Magic sets. Gods and mortals together form a bond that's larger than life but decidedly one-sided. Hell yeah! I'm curious about the notion of the Blind Eternities as it pertains to worshippers, because I don't actually know how many average magic users across the multiverse are familiar with what those are. Omenpaths are one thing because those appeared everywhere, but what about the Eldrazi? Not all worlds know about them. I dunno, it's cool to think about. I'm not gonna repeat myself, but you got a solid B+/A as far as flavorful tie-ins go this week. 

~

Twas a busy week, but I appreciate you all bearing with me through it. Have fun with the current contest! One day left, y'all.

@abelzumi

[ennn]

Thank you for answering my fandom ask! (And never apologize for the time it takes – your thoughts are always worth the wait.) I was wondering if you would elaborate on how you would change Agatha's trial in episode 5? (And apologies if I missed this in your meta tag!)

Thank you for your kind words! Always happy to share my thoughts to a listening ear. I've not talked about this before so you didn't miss anything, not to worry.

Sooo I don’t have issues with the main story beats they wanted to hit in this episode i.e. the coven that was just starting to bond starting to unravel, Alice’s tragic death, Agatha feeling what might be remorse for murdering a witch in centuries, Billy’s reveal.

What I would change boils down to two main areas:

The pacing was too blisteringly fast: I wanted characters to have a bit more time to react to things happening and give weight to their choices

The tone they wanted to hit seemed unclear — which is admittedly always a challenge for a show constantly oscillating between comedy and drama.

For example, for the scene where the coven starts turning against Agatha after the ouija board spells out "punish Agatha" – I personally would have had Jen appear more more angry, frustrated, and fear-driven compared to what we got, which seemed more vengeful and sadistic and gleeful.

Now I totally get why Jen would be the first one to turn against Agatha—it's absolutely in character for her at this point—but I've appreciated a stronger focus on how this was being done out of a need for survival and anger at Agatha's crimes and callousness.

I would have also appreciated even a little bit of resistence or questioning from Alice, the youngest and least jaded witch apart from Billy, and who is also a protection witch. Even one line where she says something to the effect of "This feels wrong?" or "Are we sure about this?" would have helped, I think.

Basically instead of having the whole coven immediately pile on Agatha, have a somewhat longer scene where they go back-and-forth a bit, with a serious discussion on how the punishment should go (if you want to slip a funny moment in there, you could use Rio as a wild card). Agatha could even aggravate them further, making the situation worse. Could have applied more pressure with the timer, etc.

I know Schaeffer has mentioned that a number of exposition lines were cut from the episode to maintain pacing and emotion and she's mentioned that some of the questions viewers have wondered about are addressed by those lines. I'm really curious what those lines were exactly.

I do know they cut out some lines about Rio explaining why she hates ghosts—that one I get because it's pretty intuitive why Death would hate ghosts. But I get a sense there were probably more lines cut.

From a thematic standpoint, I think it would have been interesting for them to explore and touch on that idea of witches having to be selfish to survive, in a world that isn't kind to witches. Jen and Lilia also deal in lies, but they've also survived terrible things. Get into that generational, cultural divide.

I think having more of these conversations — just a bit more character dialogue — would have helped ground the episode more. And also help justify why Billy lashes out at Jen and Lilia as well later.

[jodjuya]

Finished "Malcolm In The Middle".

I have so much love for this show, and so many thoughts and feelings about it.

I can't decide on a single favourite character. It's a tie between Dewey and Piama.

Pushing through the last two seasons really felt like a slog. Probably why it took me so many months, and this hospital stay, to finally get through it all.

The show's highlights were absolutely the episodes that showed Francis at his peak:

- at Marlin Academy, where he won zero achievement awards because he was too busy being in trouble for standing up for the other students

- when the family visited him at Otto's Grotto, and he got that Ranch Foreman Montage exemplifying him as the Pinnacle Of Masculine Competence, and the episode wrapped up with him EMBEDDED in dysfunctional chaos, unconsciously setting off fireworks like a hypnotized sleeper-agent. I think that's my favourite episode of television period.

But I feel bad for Francis. In, like, a meta way. His character got the worst treatment out of everyone in the ensemble.

They kept giving him amazing redemption arcs, which kept accidentally disconnecting him from the family's chaos and taking him out of the show, so then they'd have to reset him back to square one every other season. Very unsatisfying. The man had nearly as many careers as Homer Simpson!

And THEN! late in the sixth season it's suddenly his 21st birthday and that completely threw me for a loop!

Because when you're looking at Francis Nolastname, you really feel, deep in your soul, that you're looking at the most 26 year-old man to have ever been 26.

And that episode gives you such a record-scratch-doubletake. It's discombobulating AF.

It was a good series of twists to have him eager to be turning 21 because he's "been waiting for this day for YEARS" and you're like "alcohol?" But then it turns out he's Sober and big into Alcoholics Anonymous, and THEN it turns out he doesn't actually ever drink because half a glass of beer gets him tipsy, and so he's not even remotely close to alcoholism but that's just a narrative he latched onto to make himself feel better about his terrible life. It's very very funny.

Same narrative arc as when Reese got himself emancipated and got himself a kickass apartment and seemed to be superbly functional and mature, and then it was revealed that, no, he actually doesn't know shit from fuck and was just funding his whole lifestyle on credit cards like they were an unlimited free money hose.

Always very very funny to portray the boundless hubris of ignorant jackass teenagers. One of my top #1 all time favourite best television tropes.

Anyway, yeah, very weird to have that sudden reminder that Francis ran away to Alaska when he was only like 16 or something. That's fucking wild.

His wife was the best late addition to the show. I never didn't enjoy seeing Piama onscreen.

Pairing Francis up with Ida so often was a good writing decision. Kept him tethered to the rest of the family in a way that didn't feel too forced, and gave many opportunities for him to express Big Feelings with some hammy wallpaper-gnawing. Kept his character from getting too stale.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to watch "Breaking Bad". I really really really struggle with being able to watch "Bob's Burgers" for the same reason.