#my mental health 📉
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i jus know somethin wrong wit me mentally when i start seriously finding this man attractive
#HELP#my mental health 📉#my attraction for tom wambsgans 📈#he’s so fine !!!#but he’s also so odd#i am also extremely sleep deprived and starving and in my last few semesters of undergrad and stressed about not making it to grad school#and i have like 5 trips i’m planning that i feel so unprepared for#and i am just generally depressed bc i have to live in the ugliest part of nc after growing up on one of the most beautiful beaches on the#east coast#and i have no friends#the only thing giving me a sliver of joy rn is thirsting over tom wambsgans#anyway#tom wambsgans
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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third time
i skipped uni for the second time within 2 weeks. that's so not-me what is going on
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Yesterday I've been doing some proper physical exercise for the first time since last year and I'm just imagining how proud my f/os would be of me🥹
#it was just a 20 minute beginners home workout and I can feel every muscle in my body now but I think they'd be so happy I pushed through!#I've had particularly Heinz and Maximilian on my mind I think they would be sooo happy that I'm trying to take better care of myself💖#Heinz because he's always there anyway of course but I kind of imagine Max is probably overall the fittest out of my f/os#he seems like the kind of guy who'd want to be an example for his soldiers and always hold himself to the same standards as them#he'd be so supportive and cheer me on and be proud of me every time I get myself to do something😭💖💖#I've never particularly enjoyed doing sports (aside horse riding but in the past year I didn't have time anymore for that bc of uni😭😭)#so I didn't really do anything anymore after I finished school#I started doing simple home workouts last year but in winter my mental health went a little📉 and then I had no motivation to keep going#dunno how long I'll go through with it this time but better than nothing I guess#again with the home workouts lmao bc driving to the nearest gym ain't worth the time for me and I'd need some basic fitness first anyway#I'm doing it mainly for health reasons but this time I'm also motivated to actually get a bit stronger#I don't mind looking like a stick figure and I'm overall content with my body (maybe it could help me to look a bit more masc tho?👀👀)#but I know especially for my posture and such it would be good if my muscles were just a tad bit more developed#my mum was proud of me too when I told her about it hehe :) she works in healthcare she's always a little concerned#she's just a little worried about me getting health issues when I'm older that could be avoided by taking proper care of my body now#I get where she's coming from but it's not easy but at least I'm motivated to try again now :)#selnia talks
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The worst part of any trip home is leaving 🫠
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💞💖💓
#SILLAYS#proud of this one especially since#i havent been makin art cause my mental health has been📉📉📉#so yeah *throws gay ninjas at you*#naruto#naruto fanart#kotetsu hagane#hagane kotetsu#izumo kamizuki#kamizuki izumo#koteizu#izukote#izumo x kotetsu#kotetsu x izumo#kotetsu#izumo#valentines day#art
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been a bit inactive but i am alive and cooking magnificent stuff behind the scenes
#i cant wait to show yall#rubbing my hands together#will probably be a little slow with it tho bc another reason for my inactivity is ive been rly worn out recently lawll..#mental health keeps going 📉📈📉📈📉 but like it ok im hanging in there#and im not alone woopie!
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hi do u know when we’ll get an update for you’re losing me
hopefully this year !!!! 👉🏼👈🏼
#crazy call i know but the bar is low!!!!!#have not been writing anything recently just bc my mental health is going 📉#n usually i hyperfixate on writing but no this time unfortunately 😔😔😔😔#i dunno i just get saurrr sad when uni starts#today was saur tiring n i missed my bed the entire time </3#i just had one (1) 90 minute class i am so dramatic but also i got my period today so i am very brave okay 😭😭😭😭#anyyyywayyy i am yapping i will continue writing dunno when i will post the next chappie but it'll be here someday <3#darly asks#anon#fic: you're losing me
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realising you're not getting better just better at hiding it now <<<<<
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this fucking man has me in a proverbial chokehold Lyrics: Beachboy- McCafferty
#killer sans#something new#something new au#undertale au#sans au#killer#Hi welcome back to killer wears a bunny suit#Bro my mental health is 📈📈📈📉📉📉📉📉📉📈📉📈📉📈📈📈#I hate how drawing this helped#As much as I joke about it (mainly irl) drawing men I silly little outfits does make me feel better and I hate it
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everyone has to wear this to my funeral
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A LEVEL RESULTS DAY AND I DIDN’T FAIL AAAH
#I was shitting bricks for my results#buttttt#I’m super pleased with myself since#I can reapply to the course I want to do :)#I hope anyone doing a level gets the results they need#and just remember that your self worth is dependent on 3-4 letters#and that you are amazing :)#I’m taking a gap year#because 1 I didn’t get any offers lol#and 2 I really need a break from studying since during my a levels my mental health really went 📉#plus I’m hoping this year I can rediscover myself#and do the things I enjoy most like crocheting and reading#basically this year is going to be me relaxing#and working#so I will not be posting any study content for about a year or so#so I will predominantly be posting bookish stuff#I’ll still be reblogging study posts#but I won’t be posting any#I might have some random photos that I’ll post#or some timelapses#but from the looks of it I’m mainly dancing in them 😭😭#for anyone receiving their A level results I’m so incredibly proud you are amazing 💙💙💙#gathertalks#gatherrambles#a level results day
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Ssoblr
Send me line art of your ocs and I’ll print and color them when I’m stressed out of my mind
#I have a big pack of colored pencils I’ve had for years that I’ve never used#hopefully coloring will help me cope w/ my stress#having finals week and living with bipolar family members is a constant struggle#I’m fixing to move into my bfs apartment fr#my mental health is 📉#ssoblr#sso ocs#ssoblr coloring book
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literally having a depressive episode rn and Instagram decides to give me cute/hopeful/positivity meme bears. 🥺
#apple lady words#i feel like im never on here these days :( at least these last few days have been good but also horrible#published my sannie set and then my mental health went 📉📉📉📉#im just glad i was able to do some of the this or that sets bc i feel so bad to leave people waiting 🥲#like . today was so bad my parents were like can we get u something to eat. can we go out to eat w u#does it look like im doing that poorly? :( im glad they care tho#ok it's time to shut up!
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the fact that ‘nobody compares to you’ is in total 21k words in total and COUNTING. all my fics are written in google docs and there’s like, 70 or some pages so far.
am i unhinged? a little bit. but y’all’s support means everything!! ty for reading, y’all keep me going fr 🤍
#i’ve been a writer for as long as i can remember but the past few years i’ve been slacking#the only writing i’d be doing is on my IG poetry account#but this has inspired me so much and the fact that y’all have been really digging my writing style?#it makes me wanna cry every time y’all reblog and leave notes and everything#my mental health has also been 📈📉 lately but this helps so much??#anyway love y’all sorry for ranting randomly#also really quick shoutout to loony for being my no 1 supporter since day 1#ur the best bae#belle speaks
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if i had a nickel for every time i got pulled aside and had school staff and/or the school counselor called on me because they thought i was fucked in the head because of silly drawings i made i would have two nickels. which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice
#my mental health after that second time 📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉 had to go to online school#that was like#this year too
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