#and 2 I really need a break from studying since during my a levels my mental health really went 📉

[gatheryepens]

A LEVEL RESULTS DAY AND I DIDN’T FAIL AAAH

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

This moving arc is going crazy ngl. This season is really peak, JJK could never

I know you didn't even mean for this to be an ask but:

(Genshin Impact/GFL) How helpful Lisa, Eula, Noelle, Navia, Furina, Lumine, AK-12, AN-94, AK-15, and RPK-16 would be during your move

After fighting boxes and moving trucks for the last 6 straight days, this has been on my mind.

(Lisa) "Oof, these boxes are going to kill my back tomorrow...!"

Lisa has experience carrying heavy books from her days studying in Sumeru and being a Librarian in Mondstadt.

But do you really think this beautiful woman is going to help you carry the seventeen boxes of glass kitchenware that you have no recollection of even owning?

Absolutely not.

That is too heavy, even for her.

But at the very least when the moving and unpacking is over, she will give and demand the very best cuddles to recover from the process.

Expect her to say that she was sore with helping you last night in an intentionally weird way to get a rise out of you and anyone in the vicinity.

Help Rating: 2/5, Call Lisa in for the love, not for physical labor.

(Eula) "Good grief, how much dust is in here?!" ACHOO! "Ugh...! If this was some elaborate scheme just to hear me sneeze the entire time, I will enact terrible vengeance upon you!"

Quips of revenge aside, she is actually very helpful!

Eula can carry the boxes no problem, and makes sure to have the proper posture when doing so.

If she can swing her claymore around like they're nothing, then surely your belongings will be jut as trivial?

She is also extremely gentle putting down boxes that she knows is full of your stuff.

The only real negative thing you have to deal with is just her constant muttering if a box is giving her too much trouble.

Help Rating: 3/5, You now swear vengeance upon the boxes thanks to Eula saying it over and over

(Noelle) "Please, allow me! I can have these put away in no time!"

The boxes will be hearing boss music upon Noelle's arrival.

For when there is a mess, Noelle is inevitable.

She somehow packs everything into the boxes into such an impossibly efficient manner, that you didn't know you could fit that much stuff into a small cardboard box.

Noelle also does it under a few hours without breaking a sweat.

The scary part is that she can go faster while keeping the same immaculate level of care if you give her a kiss on the cheek or praise her.

And it'll mean even more to her by the fact you're still helping her. It's the thought that counts!

Help Rating: You don't even need to be there/5

(Navia) "Here, just tell me where these boxes are going in your new home. Packing? Hm, no need!"

You know what she does instead of packing herself?

She hires someone else to do it.

When it comes to more personal items, she'll gladly help you wrap it carefully and with love.

But all your furniture?

Yeah, no. That's what the hired help is for.

You and Navia will be directing people left and right where to place the furniture and boxes of your belongings without really needing to lift a finger yourself.

Help Rating: 5/5, the best help is the kind where someone else does the entire job for you.

(Furina) "Oh, it is about time you come to me for aid, dearest! Allow me to help!"

In the wise words of Sergeant Johnson:

"Hmph, MY ASS!"

This woman didn't even unload her boxes when she moved into her apartment, what makes you think that she'd help you unload your stuff properly?

She may be an Archon but her arm strength and experience with moving is next to nothing.

Furina will act all cool and try to lift a box only for it to nearly collapse on her, or throw her out her back.

Her little familiars can't help with your boxes since you know, they're made of water.

But at least the pouting face she'll make will be cute. Kinda like Aqua, huh?

Help Rating: Just get Clorinde or Neuvillette, don't ask the blue gremlin/5

(Lumine) "We really need to get you a teapot! Anyways, let's get to work!"

Lumine doesn't mind to help, and her arm strength despite her appearance is insane.

She'll be carrying 3-4 boxes like it's nothing, though she struggles to actually see anything in front of her.

Paimon helps as much as she can, so you get a 2 for 1 deal asking Lumine!

She's a little unused to moving furniture herself since Tubby and the Teapot took care of that for her own home, but she makes moving very fun!

Help Rating: 5+1/5, but Lumine will question your taste in decor.

(AK-12) "Ah, moving dorms? Well, at least it's within the base and not too far.~"

Even though 12 is a combat android, she can only lift so much.

She might complain about the servos in her arms going haywire and that you'll need to fix them, but in reality she's just teasing just to get a rise out of you.

And despite her eyes being closed, she has better sense of her surroundings than you do, not once bumping into anything or hitting the doorframes.

Once its finished, 12 will just say that you 'owe her one' for helping with the move.

Help Rating: 3/5, it'd be higher but she's too damn smug about lifting more than you.

(AN-94) "Moving assignment understood. Providing assistance."

94 is a little stiff about the moving process at first.

But as it progresses, she uncharacteristically gets distracted by the items you choose to keep and throw away.

She'll ask with a curious expression about why you're throwing away old but usable items, and 94 ends up learning a lot about you.

While the move itself is very normal, it ends up being a nice bonding experience for the two of you!

Help Rating: 4/5, very sweet

(AK-15) "This weight is trivial. Please, stand aside for a moment."

15 is an absolute monster when it comes to the physical labor.

She will stack the heaviest boxes into one pile and carry it without even moving her hair.

15 helpfully moves any of the things you'd struggle with, all the while her expression doesn't really change.

She'd question why you'd thank her for simply doing her job, but it's something she'll appreciate with the slightest blush.

Help Rating: 5/5, she can probably lift you, me, and the boxes in one hand.

(RPK-16) "Hm...I wonder if humanity were to go extinct right now, what would the new race think of finding your belongings?...Hah, your face! Don't mind me, just thinking aloud.~"

16 is not really that strong, but since she's an android, boxes aren't too bad of a gig for her.

After all, she lugs around an LMG.

Regardless, she helps you pack but be prepared to answer a LOT of questions on why you own the items you do.

Both out of genuine curiosity, and to annoy the shit out of you.

But hey, you'll at least get through the moving somewhat quickly thanks to her.

Help Rating: 3/5, Thanks to her, there's now a lot of weird cryptic questions floating through your mind. Such as if the bug that finds its way into the box knows that it had walked into its tomb?

[worms-in-the-brain]

So we know this spreadsheet, right? These are the test results from the study the Magnus Institute ran on that group of kids, including our best guy Sam.

First of all: As Sam is we’re getting more and more MagInst. mentions as the series progresses, i thought it would be neat to dissect it a little. I’m fairly sure that it has been done before, but I haven’t really seen it. Because of that, if anyone has a good post or any additional info I’m missing here, I’d love to see it!

Now, on with

the spreadsheet

I’m not sure if we’ve confirmed what exactly the Institute is looking for with these tests. My current theory is that they might’ve been looking for a host/catalyst/avatar of sorts which they could guide from a young age, though I’m not sure if that holds up.

On top of that, I’m not sure what green opposed to red or yellow opposed to white means in the spreadsheet. I am however assuming that the majority of the kids were eventually rejected.

I think that the kids marked in red are kids who already got or are going to be rejected: Griffin(?), Opal, Winnie and Yasmine. It’s incomplete, though, as we know that Sam got terminated from the program at some point during it’s run.

I also think that the kids marked in white are probably of particular interest to the Institute: Joshua, Zoe, Olivia and Sophia. I’ll be comparing their scores to Sam’s scores, since we know for a fact he got rejected at some point, showing us that his results weren’t favorable for the Institute.

So while we can’t know for certain what the institute wanted to do with these results, we can make an estimation on what qualities they were looking for.

First of, name and date of birth. This isn’t really relevant for us, except maybe that the maximum age difference is about 5 years.

Next: Piaget. Jean Piaget was a psychologist who studied children’s cognitive development. The stages in the spreadsheet are from a theory of Piaget’s that described intellectual development (in particular, the way which they obtain and process information). There are 4 stages in total, but the spreadsheet only contains stage 2 and 3.

Stage 2, The Preoperational Stage: Can use/understand symbolism, struggles to see from another’s perspective, and thinks very concretely (based on one’s own experiences (what they hear, feel, see. Example: something flat is bigger than something round, though in reality the volumes are the same and the flat shape only looks bigger) and the present as opposed to the past of future).

Stage 3, The Concrete Operational Stage: Begins to use/understand logic and conservation (the amount of water in a wide cup is the same amount in a tall, narrow cup), begins to think of how others might think and feel and understand that what the child thinks might be different from what others think.

The most notable on this section is that Joshua is the only kid shown to be at stage 2. Sam and all the other children are at stage 3, likely meaning that Joshua struggles most with understanding that other people can think differently from him and finds it difficult to apply logic.

Kohlberg. Lawrence Kohlberg's stages of moral development are an adaptation of Piaget’s theory centered on moral development in children. There are six stages in total, divided into 3 levels. The spreadsheet shows levels 2 and 3.

Level 2: Action’s morality is judged by social norms and societal expectations. Social rules are generally followed even if there is no reward or threat of punishment. However, the nature of the rules themselves aren’t questioned and often blindly followed. (Includes stage 3 (being aware of other’s judgement and wants to please them in order to be liked/perceived as good) and stage 4 (wants to follow the rules/demand of authority. They don’t really feel the need to please any individual and are instead devoted to a duty to follow laws. When someone breaks a law, they did wrong)

Level 3: Morality is judged on an individual level. Societal norms are recognized as shifting instead of constant. Authorities and rules are questioned. Rules can be broken when out of line with their personal values. (Includes stage 5 (Laws shouldn’t always dictate behavior and the greater good is prioritized) and stage 6 (justice is prioritized. There is an obligation to break unjust laws. Actions are taking because they are fundamentally good, not for self interest or because of an obligation to laws).

Notable here is that Olivia is the only child at stage 2. Likely meaning she has a rigid concept of what is good and what should be done according to a pre-established set of rules and might have trouble recognizing when those rules might not apply or be harmful.

Prosocial. Prosocial behavior is identified by an intent to benefit others, either on an individual level or for the group. This behavior can occur out of empathy or self-interest. It can include a willingness to share and cooperate with, comfort, or help others. It often falls in line with social norms.

Joshua is shown as the only one with a moderate score in this category, which could be indicative that he is less likely to specifically act to benefit someone or a group. This might fall in line with his lower Piaget score. If he doesn’t realize others might not always benefit from what benefits him, he’s less likely to act on it.

Sally-Anne. The Sally-Anne test tests theory of mind. It can show that someone recognizes that others have their own thoughts and beliefs that might not align with reality.

Zoe, Olivia and Sophia all fail the test, showing they might not have a complete understanding of what others might think, feel or believe. Interestingly, Joshua passes the test, despite his lower Piaget score suggesting he might fail. Maybe this is suggesting that he does understand logic and know what others might think, but has less motivation to act in other’s benefit.

Ultimatum. Everyone is listed as ‘fair’, so this category doesn’t tell us much.

Empathy index.

Joshua, Zoe, Olivia, and Sophia all have average empathy scores among most of the other children. Sam has the highest empathy score out of all the children, meaning he probably excels at putting himself in other’s shoes, understanding how others might feel and how they perceive a situation.

Milgram. The Milgram experiments were a series of experiments conducted by Stanley Milgram. They tested the willingness of participants to fallow the orders of authority, even if those orders misaligned with the participant’s own moral code.

Joshua and Zoe scored moderately on the test, showing they were more willing to carry out tasks given to them by an authority figure that went against their own moral beliefs than the children who scored low such as Olivia and Sophia, who likely weren’t influenced by the authority in the experiment and stuck to their own moral. Sam is the only one shown to have scored high on the experiment, probably meaning he is extremely obedient to authority figures and has a high disregard for his own morals when authority needs him to be, despite his high empathy.

Asch. The Asch conformity experiments were a series of experiments conducted by Solomon Asch. They tested an individual’s willingness to conform to the group (of peers), despite their own beliefs.

Joshua and Zoe have low scores, showing that they’re unlikely to go against their own beliefs in order to not stand out in a group. Olivia and Sophia are shown to have moderate scores, they might conform to the group under specific circumstances. Sam, once again, is the only one with a high score, meaning he is most likely to want to blend in with a group and is willing to suppress his own beliefs to do so.

One thing I don’t really understand is the ‘s’ marked in Winnie’s Asch score. Does it mean Standard? Does it show she hasn’t done the test? Is it a typo? No clue!

In conclusion

Considering all that information, I think it’s fair to say that the Institute is looking for children who are easy to manipulate.

Joshua’s level 2 Piaget score behaviour can make it difficult for him to realize other’s might have bad intentions and his moderate Milgram score can mean he’s more willing to fallow the instructions of authorities. Along with that, his moderate Prosocial score might indicate he’s more likely to act in ways that are detrimental to others. Even though he passed the Sally-Anne test, this might make him vulnerable to manipulation.

Zoe also had a moderate Milgram score, showing she’s more susceptible to the requests of authority figures. Zoe, Olivia and Sophia also failed the Sally-Anne test, which might mean they struggle with understanding the intentions of others and how their actions impact the people around them. That can mean they can be influenced to act in ways they don’t fully comprehend the consequences of.

Olivia has a level 2 Kohlberg score, which probably means she has a very rigid view on rules and feels an obligation to follow them. She and Sophia also have a moderate Asch score, making them more susceptible to peer pressure.

But then why was Sam rejected? He had the highest Milgram and Asch test results, which can indicate he can be very vulnerable to manipulation!

I believe it this to do with his high empathy score. Considering that and the fact he also passes the Sally-Anne test, he might have been too likely to figure out what the Institute’s intentions with them were and would’ve likely informed others, which the Institute couldn’t have.

That, or something about his high empathy score would’ve somehow prevented him from becoming a proper catalyst, he might care too much for the people he’d harm and that would somehow prevent something to fully manifest.

But really, I have no idea! If anyone has some thoughts about this, I’d love to hear them!

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

how do i talk to my parents about taking my adhd more seriously? i feel like they dont really understand how much i really effects my life and my mom has said my "adhd isnt really a disability" and its very stressful sometimes

Hi @pyrophilexd

I’m so sorry your parents aren’t that educated about ADHD. But not to worry, I found sources you can show them and how it affects your daily life. There will be long excerpts, so I apologize if this is really long.

Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a chronic, debilitating disorder which may impact upon many aspects of an individual’s life, including academic difficulties,1 social skills problems,2 and strained parent-child relationships.3 Whereas it was previously thought that children eventually outgrow ADHD, recent studies suggest that 30–60% of affected individuals continue to show significant symptoms of the disorder into adulthood.4 Children with the disorder are at greater risk for longer term negative outcomes, such as lower educational and employment attainment.5 A vital consideration in the effective treatment of ADHD is how the disorder affects the daily lives of children, young people, and their families. Indeed, it is not sufficient to merely consider ADHD symptoms during school hours—a thorough examination of the disorder should take into account the functioning and wellbeing of the entire family.

As children with ADHD get older, the way the disorder impacts upon them and their families changes (fig 1⇓). The core difficulties in executive function seen in ADHD7 result in a different picture in later life, depending upon the demands made on the individual by their environment. This varies with family and school resources, as well as with age, cognitive ability, and insight of the child or young person. An environment that is sensitive to the needs of an individual with ADHD and aware of the implications of the disorder is vital. Optimal medical and behavioural management is aimed at supporting the individual with ADHD and allowing them to achieve their full potential while minimising adverse effects on themselves and society as a whole.

How Does ADHD Affect Overall Health?

ADHD & Sleep:

Why So Many Night Owls Have ADHD

Delayed sleep phase syndrome, defined by irregular sleep-wake patterns and thought of as a circadian rhythm disorder, is common in ADHD. The ADHD brain takes longer — about an hour longer on average (remember, that’s just an average) — to fall asleep than does the non-ADHD brain. That’s why it’s not uncommon for us to stay up late at night, and regret it in the morning.

Poor-Quality Sleep Worsens ADHD Symptoms

Suffering a sleep deficit with ADHD is like waking up to ADHD times two — or five. Lack of sleep slows a person’s response time, processing speed, and decision-making. We’re not as alert or as focused when we’re tired. We become crabby and inflexible. We imitate three of the Seven Dwarfs: Dopey, Sleepy, and Grumpy. Lack of sleep is a self-fulfilling prophecy; it only continues to throw our circadian rhythm off kilter and cause more dysregulated sleep.

ADHD & Nutrition and Eating Habits

Why ADHD Brains Chase Dopamine

The dopamine-deficient ADHD brain seeks this chemical in many places, from tobacco to junk food. Caffeine also boosts dopamine levels in the brain. And it’s always tempting to reach for simple carbs, since they rapidly break down into sugar and stimulate dopamine release.

ADHD Symptoms Influence Eating Behaviors

Symptoms like impulsivity and inattention easily invite dysregulated eating, which may lead to unintended weight gain. In fact, studies link ADHD to excess weight and obesity5 — which is linked to other conditions ranging from fatty liver, high blood pressure, and metabolic syndrome. Relatedly, research also links ADHD to Type 2 diabetes.

Are Other Health Conditions Linked to ADHD?

From autoimmune diseases and skin conditions to hypermobility and pulmonary disease, a string of other health conditions have been linked to ADHD. Take a moment to think about how ADHD impacts your diet, health, and overall wellness.

How Does ADHD Affect Education and Careers?

Adverse School Experiences with ADHD Are Common

Our experiences in school often foreshadow our careers and other aspects of our lives. Did ADHD prevent you from graduating high school or from enrolling in or finishing college, as it did for so many of us? Or did ADHD help you excel in school? Did you have to navigate school with a learning difference like dyslexia or dysgraphia, as 45% of children with ADHD do?

What Is ADHD?

ADHD stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. It’s caused by brain differences that affect attention and behavior in set ways. For example, people with ADHD are more easily distracted than people who don’t have it. ADHD can make it harder to focus, listen well, wait, or take your time.

Having ADHD affects a person at school, at home, and with friends.

The signs of ADHD start early in childhood. But some people don’t find out they have it until they are older. It all depends on when ADHD keeps them from doing well, and when they see a doctor about it.

No matter when a person finds out they have ADHD, the right treatment can help them do better in all parts of their life. Having great support from parents, teachers, and friends helps too.

What Are the Signs of ADHD?

People with ADHD might:

have trouble listening and paying attention

need lots of reminders to do things

get distracted easily

seem absent-minded

be disorganized and lose things

not sit still, wait their turn, or be patient

rush through homework or other tasks or make careless mistakes

interrupt a lot, and talk or call out answers in class

do things they shouldn't, even though they know better

get upset easily

feel restless, fidgety, frustrated, and bored

Teachers will notice signs like these in the classroom. And parents will notice signs like these at home. You may notice signs like these in yourself. If you do, talk to a parent or teacher about it.

Share this information and articles to your uneducated parents. They need to understand and know how this disorder affects daily life. And it’s also genetic. So if you have ADHD, I’m sure your parents might too.

I hope this can help you and your parents. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[metaphoricallylotus]

airing my grievances

| aug 2nd, 2024

in trying to stay true to myself, i find myself (for a second day in a row!!) writing out my feelings onto this blog. i am tired of running and want to stick to obligations that i have made, for once in my life. what this looks like is precisely this: writing despite not feeling like it, which i am absolutely not on this fine friday evening. i am exhausted and so emotionally drained that 1. have a harder time expressing them due to fatigue and 2. kind of emotionally numb since i use numbness to protect myself when i feel overwhelmed. however, this technique is not healthy whatsoever. so what has happened today and what have i been stressed about? well i've had to go into the city (without giving out details, i live in a suburb and had to drive further inwards towards the city core to buy some furniture for my new apt as university season is coming closer and closer) to run some errands and the spending aspect of furnishing a place for university is stressing-me-the-fuck-out! more on that later. i've also felt many feelings of nostalgia today, which will also be discussed.

so, why does pursuing an education have to be so stressful? money money money MONEY! the monetary aspect of life, especially in regards to renting out a place + sorting out things related to this have been stressing me out to the point where i have had really bad diarrhea and wake up at 7am in the morning and cannot sleep any longer due to my anxiety, despite still feeling rather physically tired. i am not in a terrible financial place, by any means of course. i am rather privileged in terms of capital. however, i have a rational/irrational (i have not been able to figure out if it is rational or not as i am still confused on how i truly understand the value of money) fear of going broke while pursuing my studies. i am worried that i will become homeless (not that i carry any stigma towards homeless individuals. the system is simply broken and we as a society really do not invest in these individuals as a whole. and don't even get me started on the factors that contribute to this). a question for me regarding this would be: so if you are so worried about being broke, why don't you just live at home with your parents while pursuing your education? well, i just don't think i could do it. commuting has various negative impacts on health and as someone who suffers from anxiety and really bad depression, i simply do not have any more energy to deal with the consequences associated with this (increased likelihood of development certain physical health conditions and the overall negative impact commuting would have on my energy levels + mood). i need a lot of time to recuperate and practice self care. this really cannot be done on any sort of public transportation, especially during a trip that would easily take 2+ hours. yes, this sounds like a "privileged" person problem but i do believe that if i were to commute, it would eventually result in me dropping out of university. on top of that, i really cannot live with my parents anymore. i need to break free as them as they are having a (negative) profound impact on me. i fear that if i live with them any longer, i will never be able to truly recover from the damage taken. the damage? two emotionally unavailable adults that judge me on everything that i do and i simply cannot take it anymore. in being emotionally unavailable, they cannot express their feelings properly. i am expected to comfort them, despite them never reciprocating this and even if they did, a daughter should not have to play this role. uncontrollable emotional outbursts ranging from expressions of annoyance to anything to white hot anger. they are codependent on me, from tech issues to directions to providing them with emotional support. i am tired of taking care of everyone but no one taking care of me. the worst thing is that they are completely unaware of the fact that 1. they are acting this extreme and 2. that it is deeply affecting me. and yes, i have tried to have conversations re: this but i don't get through to them. either this case of denial is intentional or unintentional. either way, it's rather frustrating. i also do not want to be in a relationship (platonic or not) where my major role of mine is to try to fix the other person! this is a useless and exhausting effort! save your energy by saving yourself! some may think that this comes off as selfish as "if you truly cared, you would try to change them no matter how many tries it takes." maybe so, but most of the time, trying to change someone simply does not work, especially if they do not want to or simply have an inability to change. at this point, you can only focus on yourself and do what is best for you. for me, this means putting a lot more distance between me and my parents and in the process, learning + undoing unhealthy behaviours and creating healthy ones instead. i believe at this point that this can only be done if i am on my own. through living long enough on this earth, i find that i am easily swayed by others emotions. i unconsciously mimic the mood of the room, even if it does not align with my actual morals on how should i react

continued in comments^ -------------->

PREVIOUS

| aug 1st

| aug 7th

[volo-thereforeiam]

About Male Loneliness Epidemic

So I saw this post that basically expressed a disappointment towards some of (I assume) women who demeaned men that said they're struggling to develop meaningful and deep connections with other people and wish to improve that. This is related to the male loneliness epidemic, of course. I wanted to disagree, but I figured I'd make a separate post since a lot of people have already said similar things, and I don't want to be annoying.

Male loneliness epidemic isn't actually a thing. As much as some people want to believe it, the data shows that men and women feel lonely at similar rates. This post goes into the data and includes a link to a study that found different effects of age on loneliness for each sex. Here's excerpt from the abstract (you should definitely read the post and the actual study).

Results indicated that levels of loneliness increased steadily for women, whereas men’s levels followed a U-shaped curve, with highest loneliness at ages 40 and 80. At age 40, loneliness declined between the two data waves, but with increasing age the decrease abated and turned into increases when loneliness was measured indirectly.

So it's not as simple as which sex experience loneliness more. The reason why it was so easy to believe that men were lonely because they misinterpreted the 2018 GSS data measuring sexual activity, not loneliness. Never-married men aged 22-35 reported less sexual activity that year. But here's an article breaking down the newer 2022 GSS sex data to debunk the male sexlessness epidemic. Any data that measures loneliness will show greater correlation with age compared to sex.

Okay, so maybe we're looking at the quality of the friendship.

That's fair enough, but here's the excerpt of the findings.

There are no generational differences, meaning younger men are no more likely than older men are to have shared their personal feelings with a friend. However, men who have female friends are significantly more likely to express their feelings and receive emotional support than are those without. Twenty-eight percent of men with female friends report that they received emotional support from a friend within the past week, compared to 16 percent of men who do not have female friends. 

The OP of the post I'm responding to probably had a point. Men do have issues forming meaningful connections and are trying to change that. But, they're not quite hitting the mark…

Here's what we have so far:

1. The rebrand of "loneliness epidemic" to "male loneliness epidemic".

2. The disingenuous use of data measuring sexual activity to "prove" said male loneliness.

3. The reframing of conversation around men not receiving emotional support even though they don't do the same to their friends.

All of this while violence against women were increasing at the same time the conversation about "male loneliness" started appearing (during COVID-19 pandemic). And we all know the Bondi Junction stabbings where the perpetrator explicitly targeted only women but the mental illness and loneliness excuse got thrown around.

We wouldn't be having this conversation if men, as a group, were genuinely trying to solve this issue. They wouldn't call it a 'male loneliness epidemic' in the first place. They'd see that loneliness affects everyone and focus on being better friends and partners. This whole thing feels like it's more about 'compulsory sex.' It's like men having less sex is seen as a bad thing, and somehow women are responsible for that.

And that's my beef with that post, really. Male loneliness is often viewed as a shared responsibility, a collective issue, while the persistent and increasing sexual violence against women and girls is not treated the same way. Responses to sexual assault are individualized, but in reality, we need broad, collective action targeting the predominantly male perpetrators responsible for the rising rates of violence against women and girls.

Bonus anecdote below the cut lol.

Context: the conversation was about porn. I was against it and he was for it. He made a lot of bad arguments (like claiming there's vetted porn; there isn't—it's impossible to know what's consensual), but this one was the worst. It sounded more like a personal excuse than an actual argument. Basically, to him, consuming porn is more reasonable than building meaningful friendships to address what he believed to be male loneliness epidemic.

So yeah, folks. Men aren't trying to fix anything. They have most of the social power in the world—they could make changes if they wanted to.

[polysprachig]

Dia dhuit! I was wondering how you manage studying multiple languages and more importantly how you stay on track with learning. For me it seems so important "see" the progress in my target languages (Perfektionismus lässt grüßen) to keep motivated but my day just doesn't seem to have enough hours. And to make this ask even longer: Do you have any study method or material you really like?

Grazie & с новым годом!

GRMA (is é sin a rá: go raibh maith agat) as do cheisteanna, @oneanxiousstudybuddy!

I hope I can answer your questions thoroughly without going into full essay mode, especially since it’s the end of the year and I’m in a pensive mood and have been reflecting on my language learning goals/study plan for the new year. So, short answers only. Here goes! (: 

How do you manage studying multiple languages at once?

My daily life is multilingual, so I can use my main languages and study/improve my current* target languages without thinking about it too much. (*My main or side target languages may change throughout the year or every few years, depending on what my various projects require.)

I usually limit my intensive studies to 2-3 languages at a time and try to avoid focusing on languages that I learn at the same level of the CEFR unless they are in different language families.  

How do you stay on track with learning?

I’ve been keeping track of my language learning progress/projects/goals in detail since the end of 2019, and I assess my progress and adjust my timeline at least biannually or quarterly (detailed overview during a break period) or once or twice a fortnight (incremental tracking when I’m in the midst of a major project). My life and career goals directly relate to the languages I study, so I have a fairly good understanding of which concepts or languages I need to focus on and in which order at any given time.

I also find it incredibly helpful to ‘see’ the progress I’ve been making or the topics that I’ve been covering, even if it's only in list form. If you can’t remember what you worked on in the past month because your busy schedule had you all disorganised and stressed, you might feel like you’ve done nothing and become demotivated; but if you list out the films that you’ve watched in your target language or the articles you’ve read in your calendar, you may see that you actually averaged 2-3 films and 1 article per week, which are reasonable enough for a busy person (it just didn’t ‘feel’ like you did as much until you saw it all listed out).

Do you have any study method or material you really like?

It’s hard to narrow it down, as I use a variety of approaches to learning each language that are drastically different from each other. I both teach languages and learn language with teachers in addition to learning on my own, all of which constantly influences the methods or materials I use.

Most importantly, my personal study method often involves distancing myself from certain hardline mainstream notions about language learning which I find too rigid, allowing me to be flexible in my approach. I also love working on self-designed projects, since my learning is tied to intrinsic interests that are fun to work on despite their level of difficulty.

-polysprachig

[inazumaeveryday]

Day 8

At home

Kidou: Good morning, mar.

Today’s the match between Ryuuguu and Kofun.

They’re both B rank schools, but based on the data we have, Ryuuguu seems to have significantly improved over the last few days. They even managed to create a new special move to use in the tournament.

It’s still just a match between two unremarkable teams, but I’ll go watch it just in case.

mar: (The match between Ryuuguu and Kofun…)

Option 1

mar: Do you think something unexpected might happen like in that match with Raimon?

Kidou: That’d be interesting.

Option 2

mar: Can I come along?

Kidou: Sure, but…

Kidou: We’ve been going out a lot lately, and while I’m glad you’re accompanying me, you need to make sure you’re studying properly to keep up with classes.

*

Kidou: I woke up to the sound of birds chirping this morning.

Breakfast

Kidou: I’m craving meat this morning…

I guess my body needs it.

In the car

Kidou: It’s easy to fall asleep in a car or on the train… I heard it’s because of the slow rocking.

Morning practice

Henmi: Kidou-san, the match between Ryuuguu and Kofun is today, right?

Kidou: Yeah.

Sakuma: In terms of ability… I’d say they’re about the same.

Genda: Whoever wins, they’re not going further! I won’t let them score a single point against us!

Kidou: Thanks. We’re counting on you.

mar: (I wonder who will win…)

Option 1

mar: I think Ryuuguu will win!

Kidou: You think? I hear they train in water to build up their strength.

Option 2

mar: I think Kofun will win!

Kidou: You think? I hear they incorporate ancient martial arts techniques in their plays.

Henmi: What about you, Kidou-san?

Kidou: Probably Ryuuguu. They came up with a special move for the tournament.

Henmi: Hmm... Ryuuguu, huh?

Kidou: Yeah. There wasn’t that much difference between them and Kofun before, so it might have gone either way...

But with that new move, they’ll probably win.

At school

Break

Kidou: I noticed during practice this morning that you’ve gotten faster. Good job on improving your dribbling speed.

Sakiyama: Thank you very much! I can’t lose to the first years, after all!

Class (math)

Kidou: The school occasionally invites mathematicians to give lectures.

Sometimes I don’t really understand much of it, but it’s still interesting to hear from experts in their field.

Break

Kidou: This morning was filled with classes that require a lot of concentration, so I want to eat something sweet…

Class (English)

Kidou: You want to know how to improve your English?

I think you just need to have a dream or a clear goal. For me, since I want to play soccer at the world level, learning English is the absolute minimum.

Lunch

Kidou: The way you plate your food is beautiful, Sakuma.

Sakuma: I’m just trying to get a good balance of different foods. A little bit at a time just looks better, don’t you think?

Kidou: I guess it does. It’s so you to be particular about this.

Schoolyard

Kidou: If you get sleepy after a meal, try changing your eating habits.

You should eat slowly, and not too much.

Class (physics)

Kidou: It’s possible to travel in time, in theory, but…

I wonder if I’ll ever be able to travel to the past or future in my lifetime?

In the car

Kidou: The match will take place at Ryuuguu.

It’s a little far away, so I’d better study in the car…

At Ryuuguu

Kidou: I see… They’re still only at that level, huh. They’re unremarkable after all.

I wanted to come watch the match because I was curious about how our first opponent would do in the first round, but…

Haha. They’re nothing like Raimon.

We won’t stay here long.

In the car

Kidou: Hm… Someone’s calling me.

Kidou: It’s me. ...Yeah.

What’s going on?

…Something interesting?

Good timing. I just happen to be nearby.

Yeah… I’ll go check it out.

Kidou:It was Domon.

Let’s go check out Raimon on the way back.

Raimon

Domon: Haah… haah… haah…

Domon: Ahh~ I’m just gonna take a little break here~

…………

There’s a book Endou Daisuke wrote…

But Endou’s the only one who can read it, so there’s no point in stealing it.

Okay, break over!

Shishido: Ah, Domon-saaan! We’re gonna start practice soon!

Domon: Alright! Coming, coming~

Kidou: ………

The legendary Inazuma Eleven, and now Endou Daisuke’s secret book…

Heh. I had no idea about any of that.

Endou Mamoru’s just the kind of guy you never run out of things to say about.

I guess people following a guy like that are bound to be weird too… Since we’re here anyway, let’s watch them practice.

…Hm? They’re not practicing on the field?

Someoka is standing on top of a hill, holding up a tire tied to a tree with rope.

Someoka: Okay, get ready! This is special training to take on crazy skilled opponents!

Here it comes!

Everyone gets out of the way except Shishido.

Shishido: W-Wait, me?!

I’m not ready yeeeet~~~!!!

Endou: Nice! Now that’s some special training!

Kidou: …………

What… What the hell are they doing?

That call that training?

Kidou: Pfft…! Hahaha!

What a bunch of idiots.

Inazuma town street

Kidou: I can’t believe this is what they call practicing. What a bunch of idiots.

Haha, honestly… This is way beyond what I expected.

In the car

Kidou: Looks like Ryuuguu won their match against Kofun, like I predicted.

We just received our report cards too, so let’s continue to study.

Home

Kidou: We were out most of the day today…

Let’s do some stretches since we missed practice.

Dinner

Kidou: I asked Kyougoku-sensei once about how he became so knowledgeable.

He said to never be satisfied with what I know. I should instead try to go beyond and understand it well enough to be able to explain it to others.

And also, that I should make sure to always apply what I learn.

Kingcraft lessons

Kyougoku: …and that is why a leader must always be aware of their surroundings.

Are you following?

Kidou: Yes, I understand.

As the team’s playmaker, I have to be conscious of everything happening around me, since I’m the one in charge of making the best possible choices to lead everyone to victory...

Kyougoku: Exactly. And you are doing an excellent job of it, Yuuto-san.

Let’s take a break, shall we?

mar: (Kingcraft…)

Option 1

mar: Are your kingcraft lessons fun?

Kidou: It’s a different kind of fun than soccer, but they are.

Option 2

mar: Are your kingcraft lessons difficult?

Kidou: Yeah, sometimes I think it’s hard, but…

Kidou: It’s exciting to broaden my mind by learning new things.

And I want to live up to my father’s expectations, since he took the care to raise me.

I still have a lot to learn, and yeah, it’s hard, but it’s all worth the effort.

*

Kidou: mar. I really kept pulling you around today… I’m sorry.

Oh, what I’m watching? This is from one of Nose’s matches.

mar: (Footage from one of Nose’s matches…)

Option 1

mar: Nose? Aren’t you playing against Ryuuguu next?

Kidou: What we saw today was more than enough.

Option 2

mar: Are you going to play against Nose?

Kidou: Well… It’s very likely.

Kidou: Nose is the team we faced in the finals last year, after all.

Not only is their jumping power on par with ours, but they’ve improved since last year.

If they can’t find a way to defeat Nose in the air… This might mean the end for Raimon.

*

Kidou: Nose is located deep in the mountains, almost completely closed off from civilization.

Photos taken of it from the sky are pretty much completely green.

*

Kidou: Alright, time to sleep.

Goodnight, mar.

At night

Kidou: …that’s…special training…

[522story]

P35 My Struggles and Hopes in Learning English for the Future

Last night when I was cleaning my shop cart on my Taobao, I found a shop that offers TOEFL plans. I added this merchant because I thought I needed some guidance or advice. And this morning, he talked with me and asked me how long I hadn't touched English. I replied that maybe it's been 8 years. Even though I had a foreign roommate for about half a year, I talked with her only a little. He gave me a listening exercise and said to listen to it and then relay the summary of what I'd listened to in English.

I haven't finished it because I'm a little shy. When I'm at the office, I don't think it's convenient to do this. Maybe I'll finish it at noon during our break or even later. During my work time, I can write these words because it's a quiet activity.

How to improve my English level? Every time I have no confidence. I'll say that it's really poor. I listened to TPO some time ago although I couldn't understand what it was saying. It frustrates me. I know most kids have better English ability than me.

Why do I want to study English? On one hand, I want to go abroad for study which requires a minimum score of eighty. On the other hand, my husband and I want to live in another city where English is used more frequently. (Do you believe that even the word "eighty", I'm not sure whether I spelled it correctly or not.)

How much time do I have to study English every day? I think it's no more than 2 hours. Since my work takes up most of my time from 9 am to 9 pm. And when I'm in the office, I don't have the habit of studying. Although I'll write something like this sometimes to remember my life. I try to use English.

Have I tried to study TOEFL systematically? No, actually, I just searched for the rules of it. And because my husband studied it, I had some words to remember, but I didn't remember them well. Even most of these basic words I don't know.

So many times I don't know whether I can pass it before March 2025. I try to use some apps to study, like Duolingo. I studied for more than ten days. It wasn't too hard for me so that I could insist. (The word I needed to search.) But now I only reached the forty-score level, whose full score level is one hundred and twenty.

Let me start this tough lesson. It seems too hard to persist. Even remembering the words, I'm not doing well. What should I do?

[torisvetlife]

not sure what I am doing, but I want to try

I'm a vet student but I have been severely struggling since I began this degree. I've had to repeat 2 courses and I discontinued my studies for a year due to mental health. The year passed and I am no better. Next year I'll be retaking a course I failed this year and it is my last shot at this degree and I am terrified.

I'm not just struggling with my studies, my personal life is in shambles as well.

I feel like everything began to go downhill when the pandemic started. Pre-COVID, I was still in undergrad and I was so passionate and hardworking, I never took a break. I juggled classes, part-time job (that I did more like full-time) and research projects. My plate was always full-to-overflowing and I had to sneak in breaks for reading, watching tv/movies and just relaxing. It was stressful but after years of functioning that way, it was my normal and more importantly, I was productive. I was good at my job, school was okay (could've been better) and I did really well in my research. I did feel overworked but I was still having productive results in my life.

Then COVID happened. And I was also done with undergrad by then. So, I was locked indoors, with too much time on my hands and a huge repressed depression that I kept at bay by constantly moving. I feel like since COVID, I've lost my passion, my dedication, my discipline. But it didn't happen all at once. At the beginning, I had veterinary school applications to keep me occupied; essays to write and references to get. It kind of started going downhill when I got accepted into vet school.

First year was online and I did not adapt well. I made the mistake of continuing my work with my school work, as if grad school isn't on another level entirely. And just juggling the lectures, pracs, tutorials, study time with work and sleep, it was hell. The university I attend also has a completely different way of grading and testing than what I was used to so I did not test well. I even tried group study meetings, ended up teaching my classmates easy ways to remember things, and still would perform worse than them. It was a blow to my self-perception. And it only got worse when I failed. It meant I had to wait another year to try again. I didn't let it get to me, though. I was hell bent on trying again, so I did.

This time, it was no longer online. I moved from home and into a dorm, and had to adapt to a whole new dynamic that I was used to. Second time around, in person, wasn't that much easier but I managed to pass. My mental health was not the best, and I had a lot of issues with connecting with my classmates, making friends, asking for help; just keeping up with this new fast paced life in general. Second semester came around and my mental health got worse. I was clinically depressed and I was just ready to give up on life. When I say that I was shocked to have passed, I am not exaggerating. It was truly by the skin of my teeth but I managed. And during the summer break I just pretended that entire semester didn't happen and tried to "move on". But that just spelled downfall for the following year, because (1) I had learned nothing the previous semester and I didn't have the background knowledge I needed to learn this new information and (2) my mental health struggles caught up to me, everything from my undergrad studies to starting vet school till then, and I crashed. Hard.

I was suffering from insomnia, I wasn't really eating and I began to self-harm. All of that led to me to discontinue my studies for the year to focus on bettering my mental health, and I thought I did that. I started my second year and it was no better. I got diagnosed with OCD and ADHD (and my doctor didn't want to medicate me for either one). But I had a new beast to battle: I couldn't find the motivation or interest to study. The epitome of executive dysfunction. I managed to go to classes and tutorials and everything, but as soon as I returned home, I would be so bone-deep exhausted that I would just sleep (I commute via public transport, which is a pain). So, I didn't really study and the material just accumulated until I didn't have enough time or brain capacity to learn everything. And I didn't pass my classes. I actually failed 2 of them. Apparently, I just don't test well. It was so unexpected, I couldn't stop crying for 2 weeks straight.

Next year is my last chance. I wanted to try and review everything from the beginning, because I need to get that fundamental baseline understanding to perform well in the following years of my degree. But I'm still struggling with that lack of drive, lack of purpose, lack of motivation. I am still aware of my long-term goals but they don't fuel me enough to get through this now.

I know it might only be making it worse, but I'm not on my medications currently and I am unable to see my therapist because I can't afford to.

[realhusbandexperience]

Part 1 (Introduction)

 The summer of 2023 was the year my life changed forever, but before I get into specifics, I want to write a bit about myself to add more context. I was born and raised in Cuba. I came to the US when I was 19 and I am currently living in New York. At the time of writing this I am 33 years old, 6’2, dark hair. I go to the gym religiously minimum 5 times a week. I consider myself a handsome guy, getting girls has never been a problem for me. Despite that, I have never been the type of guy to sleep around a lot. I came to the US in 2010, and I immediately got into a relationship that lasted around 6 years. We had what you can call a “normal” relationship, and we were both going to college during most of that time. In 2016 we split up; it was not a difficult break up. I want to say we were both very mature about the situation. I think today looking back, I understand more why things happened the way they did. Let me explain, I have never been a very sexual person. That’s also the reason I have never been the type to sleep around with different women. At the time, when we broke up, she mentioned wanting more. I thought she meant in life, maybe she wanted to move out of New York. Maybe she wanted to party more since most of our college years all we did was study. It wasn’t until 2023 that I got to understand what she really meant. This will make more sense once I get into the real reason why I am writing this.  

Two years after my breakup my best friend who we will call “Kathy” (I am changing everyone’s name) told me that her cousin “Ashley” found me attractive. I knew who she was but despite being my best friend’s cousin we were never in the same circle and she’s 3 years younger than us. I was also in a relationship and for the 2 years I was single Kathy knew very well I was not looking for anything. At the time, I did not think much about it because I never thought it would go anywhere anyways. In order to get the story going I will conclude by saying that not only did we connect at a level I never thought we would, but 2 years later Ashley and I got married.  

I want to write a little about our marriage so far. Ashley is a nurse in a hospital and her shift would change every week. I work from 7AM to 3PM Monday to Friday. It doesn’t matter what shift Ashley worked the day before, she always gets up with me at 5 am, makes me breakfast and gives me a kiss before I leave for work. We are a team, and I could not be happier with the way our relationship is. I always thought we had pretty good communication so, in my mind I didn’t think she would hold anything back. Not only did I always see her as my wife but also as my best friend.  

Summer of 2023 came, and I remember it like it was yesterday. It was the end of June when I started noticing some weird stuff around the house. I am a very anal person so if something is out of place or seems different, I am quick to notice. First, it was the toilet, you know when a man pees sometimes it splashes around, and it leaves marks? I am the type of person to clean it every single time! Then why am I finding it that way when I come from work? I know it sounds small and there were other little things but that was the one thing that bothered me the most. It drove me so crazy that I started having doubts. The normal move to make would’ve been talking to Ashley but instead, I installed spy cameras all over the house. Trust me when I say I am not proud of it but the intrigued was killing me and I wanted to be so wrong about what I could potentially see on it.  

I installed the cameras on a Monday while she was at work and Tuesday morning, I was sitting in my office with my iPad next to the two screens I use for work checking every movement. A part of me was feeling so guilty watching my wife at home having no idea of all the cameras but I needed to know. I remember being so nervous leaving the house that morning knowing I was about to spy on her. Depending on her shift, she always goes back to sleep for a few more hours. It wasn’t until around 9:30am that she got up again and started doing what every normal person does after waking up. Watching her stepping out of the shower and then putting on her panties made me think about how I don’t compliment her figure enough. Ashley is 5’7 and just like me, she takes good care of her body. I love everything about her. She has a toned and athletic physic with a slender waist and well-defined curves. Her breast is exactly the way I like them in a woman, not big and not too small. They stay right where they need to be, hence the reason why she rarely wears a bra. Her father is from Dominican Republic and her mother is from Medellin, Colombia so, she inherited that brownish skin color like she has a tan 24/7 and that beautiful seductive face that many Colombian women have. If you Google Vanessa Christine, she’s a model my wife follows on Instagram (@vanessachristine), then you will have a good idea how Ashley looks like, except I might be biased but my wife is 10 times prettier. After stepping out of the bathroom she proceeded to walk half naked to the kitchen and began to make a cup of coffee. While waiting for it to be ready, I see she’s on her phone while her other hand went very slowly under her panties. The quality of the video wasn’t 4K resolution, but it was good enough for me to see her biting her lips while looking at whatever was making her do that on her phone. That alone wasn’t that bad, I know this might shock whoever reads this but no, I don’t watch porn. I never cared about it and as I mentioned before, I was never a very sexual person to begin with. With that being said, it’s not like I was going to break up a marriage because she might have been watching a dirty video and touching herself?  

That alone was still not explaining all the other weird stuff I was finding in the house. Then around 10:40AM I saw her walking towards the door still half naked. I had no idea if anyone had rung the bell but I had no audio on the cameras so I couldn’t hear. She opened the door and at that point I couldn’t even describe what I was feeling. A man I did not know came into the house while my wife was only wearing panties and at that point, I didn’t need more prove but I was so in shock that I couldn’t take my eyes away from the iPad. They started kissing in the Livingroom and I can see my wife putting his pants down and kneeling in front of him. In a way, it was like watching a totally different person grabbing his cock and slapping her face with it, spitting on it and getting very dirty. I lost the sense of time while I was observing what at the moment, I was hoping was a nightmare. Then he grabbed her and sat her on the couch, opened her legs and started eating her out. From that angle I was only able to see her face enjoying it while one hand was on his head and the other was touching her boobs. That went on for a lot longer than I was expecting it to go and when I finally snaped out of being in shock for who knows how many minutes, then my brain finally started to process everything. I was so hurt, but that day I also started to understand something. The relationship with my wife was perfect in my eyes but, I began to realize why putting more effort on the sexual part is important. I finally understood what my ex-girlfriend meant by “wanting more”. Everything my wife was doing there with that man is exactly the opposite I do during sex. I was being very honest to myself. I was very boring in bed, we never did anything crazy or risky. I barely even like to kiss in public let alone do something else. I was assuming responsibility for what at the moment I thought was a failed marriage. My heart was broken in a million pieces, but I was also mature enough to understand that I was not giving her the passion this strange man was giving Ashley. I even remember thinking, all these years together, and I think I can count the number of times I’ve gone down on her. I still had to get up from that chair and run towards the bathroom to throw up. I was so devastated watching that man getting up after eating her out and brushing her pussy with his cock getting ready to put it in. They started having sex and I couldn’t hold my tears back any longer. I had to look away but a part of me still wanted to wait until the end. I wanted to see how long he was staying in my house and to my surprise, I saw him cumming in my wife’s stomach then he used the bathroom while my wife laid in the couch fully naked. He got dressed, gave her a kiss and left.  

I am not saying that made me feel better because at that very moment only waking up from this nightmare would’ve made me feel some type of relief. But the positive of it all, if any, was to see zero intimacy. I couldn’t hear a thing, but he didn’t stay to cuddle, it didn’t look like he was there for more than just sex. I saw a different side of my wife that day, and I wanted to be so impulsive. I wanted to leave work and confront her and maybe that has been my problem so far, I was never that type of person. My heart was racing, and I was still crying but I tried to calm myself down so I could approach the situation more thoughtfully. There was no way I was going to start that conversation through messages or a phone call. At the end, I got home, and I don’t know how, but I did my best to act like I was fine. She did notice I was not the usual self, but I gave her the “I’m not feeling well excuse” She had to leave for work soon that’s why I had decided to postpone the conversation for another day. I was also trying to decide whether I wanted to mention the hidden cameras or not. 

[fedor-bortnik-fmp]

Jacob. Progress. Part 2

I continued working on the face by working on the remaining segments and giving them a better resolution.

After working for 30-60 minutes, I usually take breaks to distract my eyes and mind by doing something else, and once I come back - I try to evaluate my work and see the problems with it. I usually draw on screenshots to highlight the problem, and then I do visual/text notes on how to fix the issue, and after that, I go back to the work and try to resolve it.

The biggest problem with the head is its shape - and while it looks like an easy fix, in reality, it's quite difficult for me to achieve. I don't have enough experience to properly structure the head since I can't visualise the dimensions properly. So I decided to collect more references of bald heads in order to help me understand the perspective and head structure better. Not only for that, but to also see some of the features that I did not see with my current references.

references: None-__- (2022), Andor Kollar (n.d), Kerchenbaum, G. (2016).

After getting more references I began reshaping the head. I really liked Kerchenbaum (2016) work in terms of shading of the muscles and detail. I dedicated extra time to face sculpting in order to make it look as good as possible. Once I thought I did my best - I upscaled the sculpt and worked on the details of each part of the face.

While sculpting, I realised that I really needed some anatomy references in order to understand better the flow of muscles on a human face. I took one of the favourite references created by Uldis Zarins (2017) and used that during the sculpting.

In conclusion, I would say that I have spent more time than I should have, I lacked the practical skill in shaping the heads, and my understanding of the perspectives also lacking. I did fine work for now, but for the future self - I would need to practice much more in order to become good at it.

Then I began working on the character's ears. The reason is fairly simple - I am this far into the project, and I still have not inserted the ears into the sculpt. I collected some references for that (mostly from anatomy books), and followed them in order to construct the ears.

a diagram by anatomy of sculptors (n.d).

I created a box at the ideal level of the character's face, applied the boolean, inserted the diagram into the model world, and began sculpting the box shape into an ear - occasionally adjusting the density of the ear with Dyntopo.

Before finishing off, I did a quick block out of the hair design that I wanted. I wanted a ponytail for the character - since I thought it would look nice on the character, but besides that - It could help to transition the character between him being casual, and him being serious.

References:

None-__- (2022). basic face shape 21 looks exactly like old snake even has the scar where he has an eye patch in mgsv. [online] Available at: https://www.reddit.com/r/metalgearsolid/comments/upl2mw/basic_face_shape_21_looks_exactly_like_old_snake/ [Accessed 5 Jun. 2024].

Pinterest. (n.d.). Male Body – Anatomy Study | Andor Kollar - Character Artist | Body anatomy, Human anatomy, Male body. [online] Available at: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/305541155966925257/ [Accessed 5 Jun. 2024].

Kerchenbaum, G. (2016). Pretty face - Live sculpt. [online] ArtStation. Available at: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/5OyLg.

Uldis Zarins. (2017). Anatomy of Facial Expressions : Uldis Zarins: Amazon.co.uk: Books. [online] Available at: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Anatomy-Facial-Expressions-Uldis-Zarins/dp/1735039047 [Accessed 5 Jun. 2024].

Anatomy For Sculptors. (2021). Anatomy For Sculptors | Anatomy Book Series For Artists. [online] Available at: https://anatomy4sculptors.com/?gad_source=1 [Accessed 5 Jun. 2024].

[bibaybe]

tell me everything about rika! please! gush!! release the info dump!!! AAAAA

HELL YEAH i saw this at my morning break and have been thinking about what i wanted to say ever since pls know you kept me from a complete mental breakdown today and i appreciate you vv much. this got really long, so i put it under the cut!

anyway!! rika is actually emi's, karube's lover, younger sister. before the borderlands, she was in college studying to be a lawyer and tended to spend her free time debating her fellow students and hanging out at the bar emi and karube worked at, which is how she met karube. they were hooking up for maybe a year? not sure yet. but either way, he starts hooking up with emi, rika finds out and storms off, and that's the last time they see her, leaving them with a fuck ton of guilt to deal with bc they're all like ??? where'd she go?? was she that hurt?? did she run away or worse???

awkward, bc after the initial pissiness of he sleeping with her SISTER who has cheated with many a guy and she wouldn't be surprised if she finds out she has an STD, she's honestly not that mad about it. she's more annoyed with emi than karube, but like, whatever. she's got more important things to worry about like suddenly being in a NEW WORLD?? that makes her fight to survive?? yeah, she's not having a great time.

rika's on her own for a while and figures out the whole suit - type of game thing, realizing her specialty is hearts games bc she's really good at manipulating a situation to go her way. she's moderately deaf, so she's gotten very good at reading lips, opening her up to a lot of information people don't realize they're giving her. that's how she meets the hatter, who catches on to her ability and willingness to sacrifice those who she doesn't have a connection to. he extends an invite to the beach and at first she's hesitant, but ends up deciding to go with him in order to gather more information about the borderlands.

while there, she ends up seducing aguni, knowing that with the lawlessness of the Beach, she'll need someone who will keep her safe when her own limitations come into play. at first, aguni is cold to her, but begins to warm up to her when he realizes that she's not intimidated by him like most are. he starts to fall for her and she plays along, unwilling to lose her most prominent form of information, especially when he starts to open up to her in a way he never does with anyone else.

but as she realizes that the relationship between the militant guard and the hatter's group is too fraught to stand for long, she starts trying to figure out the best way to play her cards, which leads her to chishiya and kuina. they'd already been debating bringing her into their plan, but when she shows up and is just like 'sup, what're you guys plotting and can i be in?' they're just like,,,, uh okay? so she joins their group and is basically a double agent, relaying information that she finds out to them. chishiya and her start to fall for each other, but due to her double agentness can't really do anything about it.

for a long time, chishiya, kuina, and - on some level - aguni are the only people she really cares about. until she runs into karube and arisu during the game of tag, which is very interesting due to aguni also being there. ultimately, usagi and arisu end up becoming people she care about enough to worry about, though her relationship with arisu is tense for most of season 1 due to her last conversation with karube being her being a bitch and making fun of the idea that she cared enough about him to run away.

basically, rika is smart, manipulative, and ruthless, but fiercely loyal to the few people she actually cares about. most of her season 1 arc is just her balancing keeping aguni's trust and love while working against him and keeping her own feelings for chishiya under wraps. season 2 - so far, given i haven't finished the last few episodes yet, but i probably will within the next few days - focuses on her coming to terms with her own shifting morals - aguni trying to kill everyone but her at the Beach makes her wonder if she's as bad as him while also grappling with his (assumed) death and her part in it. along with the fact that she can finally pursue a relationship with chishiya, but being uncertain whether that's something he wants, given the dumbass won't make a move and she's just like ??? we like each other KISS ME GODDAMMIT

also unrelated to literally everything but heiya getting rejected by aguni bc he loves rika and then trying to flirt with chishiya when(if?) they meet and getting rejected again bc he loves rika is so fucking funny to me i'm sorry heiya you'll find someone who isn't into someone else i promise its just not arisu, aguni, or chishiya lmao

[hypmic-writings]

Hi! I haven’t seen much TDD Ichiro content in a while so maybe headcanons of him being in a relationship with a classmate who also tutors him for school? I hope that’s alright with you!

━━ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ━━

Pairing: Ichiro Yamada x reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

A/N: Sorry for going so long without posting, life has been rather crazy on my end! I hope you enjoy this one though, it was really cute! I feel like we all remember our high school crushes and significant others long after we graduate haha~

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

you and Ichiro started dating when you were in Year 2 and he was the one who asked you out

he had always been floored by your intelligence and he also thought you were definitely the hottest person in your year

so although he had been asking you out since your first year, you didn’t say yes until Year 2

the two of you weren’t in a lot of classes together, mainly because you were already taking all of the upper level classes

and no matter how they divided up the classes, you and Ichiro never really got to spend much class time together

but that was okay because you spent more than enough time together after school and during breaks

specifically for tutoring sessions

because even though the two of you were madly in love, Ichiro was still failing some classes while you were passing with soaring marks

so he asked you to tutor him in some of the places he needed help and you were more than happy to spend the time doing so

it’s definitely not easy to tutor Ichiro so you’ll have to be mentally strong if not someone who takes things seriously

most of the time when he’s not flirting with you or trying to hog your attention, he’s cracking little jokes and sending you into fits of laughter

so it’s actually quite difficult to get him to do his homework

but you get creative in the ways that you end up getting him to focus

sometimes you’ll tell him that if he gets a certain percentage right on the practice test that you’ll buy him some sweets

other times you’ll say that he gets a kiss every time he completes his homework and turns it in on time

the reward system definitely gets him to be more active and do his work properly and you think that’s hilarious

whenever the two of you have regular date nights, you’ll add in a half hour of studying which annoys Ichiro 

but he can’t really say anything when you remind him of how little he knows about each subject

Ichiro can’t wait for the summer when he doesn’t have to worry about tutoring interfering with the normal dates you two have

there’s a lot of whining from Ichiro’s side and unfortunately there will have to be a lot of support on your side

but even if you’re someone who’s a bit more strict or straight laced, Ichiro is going to try his best to be tutored by you properly

because the last thing he would want is to waste your time or (god forbid) make you not want to be around him anymore simply because he can’t take school seriously

so although it’s a pain for him and he doesn’t really care about it, he’ll still do his best to focus when you’re tutoring him

but sometimes Ichiro gets lost in your eyes when you’re explaining something because he thinks the way you say long words is so cute

and other times he just loves to look at your ‘concentration face’ which distracts him way too often

at the end of the semester though, he’s surprised to find that he actually ends up passing all of his classes 

you’re not really surprised though because you know that he was working hard to impress you and to actually do well

so you give him extra cuddles that night as a ‘congratulations’ gift and Ichiro is so happy to have you as a tutor

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[sunwoo-hoo]

↣ the boyz reaction to s/o feeling stressed

↳ a/n: hello my lovelies! we are back with another tbz reaction! side note, with every reaction i get it’s going to be canon with my ‘as your boyfriend series’ so keep that in mind when requesting. this is for the lovely anon who requested this. i hope you enjoy it. ☻ 18+ due to language

↳ genre: fluff? slight angst? i don’t even know someone tell me

↳ requested? yes

↳ send me your requests here!

↳ word count: 3.4k

↳ the boyz x fem reader

「 Lee Sangyeon  」

you normally weren’t one to get stressed out often but when your job decided to give you a promotion you weren’t expecting the extra workload it would bring

you got assigned to one of the major projects your company was working on and slowly but surely you felt your energy draining with each day passing by

even though sangyeon was extremely busy as well he was worried about you  

after coming home from a long day of practice sangyeon noticed when you weren’t in the front foyer to give him his welcome home kiss like you usually did

as he walked to your bedroom he saw you sitting by the desk typing away at your computer

as he made his way towards you he squatted down slightly to give you a warm cheek kiss

“hey baby, how about you take a break huh? you’ve been working so hard, let me cook something for you” he insisted

“hmm? oh.. okay, i’m sorry sangyeon, work has been driving me up the wall lately i didn’t mean to shut you out” you mumbled

he gave you a small smile as he stroked your cheek before replying “don’t worry about it baby i just don’t want you to overwork yourself” he said

during your break sangyeon is cooking you dinner, listening to all your troubles and even trying his best to help you with your project. by the end of the night expect a lot of cuddles and kisses.

「 Jacob Bae  」

stress was something you’ve always experienced, especially being a university student finishing your final year

jacob was super supportive of your dreams always helping you study in any way he can

sometimes even distracting you to get your mind off it so that you wouldn’t burn out

but as final exams were just around the corner you were so stressed to the point that you cried and threw your book across the table in frustration

jacob turned his head and quickly took notice since he was only a couple of feet away reading a book which he swiftly set down and rushed to your side

“oh babe, don’t cry please, i promise it’s going to be okay” he whispered as he wiped your tears away  

you completely broke down sobbing uncontrollably onto jacob’s sleeve as he held you close giving you hushed praise

“how about we go and rest for a little? a nap would be good for you” he softly asked as you simply nodded

jacob helped you up as you made your way to your bedroom where he made it relaxing as possible turning on the air humidifier and lighting a lavender candle. he also made sure that the curtains were closed so that the room was dark enough to fall asleep to

soon enough your drifting into a calming sleep in jacob’s arms.

「 Kim Younghoon  」

it had been 3 months since you’ve started dating kim younghoon, your relationship was everything you could’ve dreamed of. it was absolutely perfect with no flaws what so ever.  

with all that in mind you started to wonder why you both hadn’t exchange i love you’s. you knew younghoon felt strongly for you, always making sure you were taken care of, constantly hugging and kissing you.

the whole situation started to stress you out and make you second guess everything

you loved younghoon but you had to admit you were a bit apprehensive on saying it first, since you didn’t know what younghoon’s response would be.

he could’ve said it back, or worse, not say anything at all.

one evening when younghoon was sleeping over your place you decided then and there that you were going to muster up your courage and finally say the three words you’ve been stressing over.

as you both were watching t.v his arms draped over your shoulders you looked up over at younghoon who was fixated on the drama that was playing. you cleared your throat

“younghoon.. i have to tell you something… something i’ve been wanting to tell you for awhile now” you announced hesitantly

as he looked over at you he adjusted his body to fully look at you face on

“really? i actually have something to say as well” he replied

your ears perked as you continued “how about we say it at the same?”

he nodded smiling before counting down “3…2…1..”

“i love you” you said “i’m in love with you” he whispered

you breathed the biggest sigh of relief before sliding in his lap giving him the softest kiss as you felt younghoon’s arms around your waist

「 Lee Hyunjae 」

your relationship with hyunjae was many things, exciting, passionate, intense. never in a million years would you think it would be stressful, or let me rephrase: you never thought it would be this stressful  

you received a text message from hyunjae one afternoon saying that he needed to talk to you and that it was important

at that moment your mind was going through so many options on what it could be, your thoughts becoming worse and worse.

oh god is this it? he wants to beak up with me

did he cheat on me? i’ll fucking kill him if he did

oh my god what if he’s not in love with me anymore?

as your mind was going a mile a minute you finally broke out of your daze when your friend who you were out to lunch with told you that it probably wasn’t all that bad and that you should trust hyunjae.

when the evening finally  rolled around you went to visit hyunjae just right when he got home from practice.

“hey baby” he smiled giving you a peck on the lips, giving him a small you replied “hey” back as you two sat on the sofa

“so what’s going on?” you asked as you were rubbing your palms against your knees trying to get rid of the sweat

hyunjae instantly noticed your anxious aura and grabbed your hands holding them tightly giving them a kiss

“well, we’ve been dating for almost a year now and i think it’s time.. for you to meet my parents” he said proudly

you blinked a couple of times as your brain still hadn’t registered the information he just said

“i want them to meet the girl i’m madly in love with” he continued

when you finally heard his words your first instinct was to hit hyunjae’s arm

“ah! hey! what was that for?” he shouted rubbing his arm

“jesus christ hyunjae i thought you were breaking up with me!” you shouted back

he laughed grabbing your waist pulling you close on his lap putting his head in the crook of your neck “i could never” he whispered giving your neck a light kiss

「 Lee Juyeon 」

to say that you were having a bad week was the understatement of the year.

it all started when you caught the flu, you felt horrible. it was constant sneezing, throwing up, runny nose, all of it.

you started to feel stressed when juyeon risked his safety getting sick to take care of you. you especially didn’t want him getting sick when the boyz comeback was nearly a month away.

you told him that you could take care of yourself, but juyeon didn’t take no for an answer.

you had to admit even though you were sick you couldn’t deny that you loved having juyeon with you 24/7 he was being the perfect boyfriend getting you tea, wet cloths for your forehead, and making sure you took your medicine every night.

“open your mouth, good girl” he praised putting the spoonful of medicine in your mouth

“you know if i wasn’t sick you would be saying those exact words another way” you teased coughing slightly

juyeon smirked and kissed your forehead in response

slowly but surely after a week you were starting to feel better but then your sickness hit juyeon as predicted delaying the comeback for nearly two weeks.

「 Kevin Moon 」

it was a hard month for kevin, the boyz comeback had just started and he was stressing over all the performances and interviews wanting to make sure that each one was up to his standards

it was so bad that all his stress levels were slowing creeping up on you making you become stressed yourself

it was starting to effect your relationship and you knew you had to do something quick before you and kevin would get into a fight you were not mentally prepared for

the comeback was closing in on it’s last week and you had decided to make one evening extremely special pampering kevin.

you decided to make his favorite meal, wearing your sexy yet tasteful red dress, with your black lacy bra and matching panties for later activities.

as kevin walked into your apartment he noticed you immediately smiling at your attire

“hey babe, what’s all this?” he asked pointing to all the candles and dim lighting

“what do you mean? can’t i do something special for the man i love?” you replied innocently walking up to him giving him a soft kiss on the lips

as kevin deepened the kiss your back found it’s way to the cold wall behind you as kevin started to trail kisses along the side of your jaw making his way down to your neck

you were excited it wasn’t often that kevin was a dom but you had pressing matters to attend to first

“k-kevin wait… i want to talk first” you whimpered as he finally reached your sweet spot

kevin stopped immediately to your words and gave you a quick peck on lips before nodding

you grabbed his hand and made your way to the dining table where the food was most likely cold by now and sat down on the chair

“kev, i just wanted to talk about how you’ve been so stressed with this comeback and everything it’s.. it’s starting to effect our relationship” you mumbled

he sighed and agreed “i know it has, and i’m so sorry for that babe” he said grabbing your hand as he continued “i’ll promise to be better about it, you know that i don’t want to ruin what we have. i love you”

you smiled feeling 100 times better about the situation giving kevin a kiss on the cheek  

you lightly laughed as you pulled apart “the dinner is totally cold now by the way”

“let’s just order a pizza, it probably wasn’t that good anyway” he teased before you shoved him playfully in response

「 Choi Chanhee 」

what was suppose to be a relaxing day off spending it with your boyfriend choi chanhee it drastically changed into a nightmare

you both decided to spend the day shopping for some new clothes together

at first you thought it was a cute idea, thinking you would get matching couple outfits so that you can coordinate for the upcoming summer season

but it quickly turned into a stressful day when chanhee wanted you to try on every shirt, every dress, and pants, you were starting to regret this little outing until you finally snapped at him

“love, you would look so cute in this why don’t you-”

“no!” you yelled quickly covering your mouth at your sudden outburst in public

chanhee gave you a puzzled look not expecting your sudden change in mood

you quickly apologized not wanting to start a fight in public, pulling him to the side of the store where it was secluded from prying eyes

“chanhee… i’m sorry it’s just i’m tired i thought this would be fun but it’s stressing me out, it’s all too much” you sighed looking down at your shoes

chanhee pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear and lifted your head up with his index finger

“oh love, don’t apologize i should be the one apologizing i’m sorry for being excited, i just wanted to have a fun day with you, let’s go home okay?” he reassured kissing your temple

「 Ji Changmin/Q 」

you had it all planned out, you were going to introduce your friends to your wonderful boyfriend ji changmin

you ultimately thought that they should finally meet him after dating for nearly 4 months

at first you had no idea why you decided to wait this long, considering you already met all the members and were close to each of them

you were extremely nervous and stressed for their first interaction you just wanted everything to be perfect with smooth sailing

changmin was going to meet two of your closest friends who were also a couple themselves

it was a chilly fall day when you all decided to meet up at a nearby cafe changmin’s hand in yours trying to warm it up blowing on it while pressing kisses

“don’t worry babe, it’s all going to work out fine” he smiled easing your nervousness

when you finally made it to the cafe your friends were already waiting and quickly made introductions  

they easily took noticed when changmin ordered your drink he knew you loved and paid for everything with his card as your friends gave you hushed whispers

“wow, he’s such a gentlemen” she gushed “yeah, and he even knew your order by heart” he replied giving you a thumbs up

you smiled when changmin returned with both of your orders giving you a cheek kiss when he sat down

to your surprise the conversation between the four of you went smoothly changmin easily wooing them with his charms and cheerful aura

your friends especially had a million questions when it came to his idol life out of general curiosity

changmin didn’t mind at all answering every single one with ease even laughing at the humorous ones

your heart melted at the interaction when you realized in the end you had nothing to worry about

「 Juhaknyeon 」

you knew juhaknyeon always loved your home cooking as he was always excited whenever he came home from practice knowing he would have a hot meal ready for him

but this time was different, you weren’t just cooking for him but cooking for his parents who so happen to be visiting you two

you met juhaknyeon’s parents before who were very down to earth and humble people always making you feel welcomed

but you had to admit you were a bit stressed trying to live up to the expectations

it was less than a couple of hours away before they would be arriving and you were running around the supermarket with juhaknyeon on your tail

“babe, slow down your gonna run out of energy” he grunted breathing heavily

“juhak you don’t understand your parents opinion mean the world to me, i want them to love my cooking” you said looking down at your hands trying to decide between the beef or pork belly

juhaknyeon gave you a side hug pulling you close “they are going to love whatever you make, because i love it too” he promised kissing the top of your head

when you finally made it back to the dorms and cooked up a storm that would’ve fed all 11 members juhakyeon’s parents finally made an appearance

after the quick greetings and the light scolding from juhak’s mother telling him to keep his room neater she finally took in your food spread

“wow! it all looks amazing [name] i’m sure it taste wonderful too” she smiled warmly pinching your cheek lightly

when you all finally sat down to eat you anxiously waited for juhakyeon’s parents comments

after a couple of bites juhak’s mother proudly exclaimed “it’s delicious [name] really! everything taste amazing, i’m so happy our son found someone who can feed him like this” she praised

you bowed your head thanking her for her positive comments as haknyeon grabbed your hand under the table squeezing it giving you a wink

「 Kim Sunwoo 」

you loved your mother dearly, but she was starting to text and call you nearly everyday about when you and sunwoo were finally going to get married

even though you loved sunwoo and were dating for a year and half you told her that it wasn’t a good time yet. sunwoo had major responsibilities when it came to his idol life

not to mention that you and sunwoo were still very young and just wanted to enjoy being together before you had to tackle even more responsibilities like marriage

you were laying in bed when you got off the phone with your mother after another hour long call

you sighed staring at ceiling fan feeling pressured and stressed when sunwoo walked in the bedroom

“hey babe, have you seen my adidas hoodie?” he wondered as he saw you looking emotionless at the ceiling

he hovered over you waving his hands across your face trying to get your attention

“hm? oh sorry it’s behind the door in the bathroom” you mumbled

sunwoo swiftly climbed on top of you resting his chin on your chest “what’s wrong babe? who was on the phone?” he asked

you hesistantly replied “it’s just my mother, she keeps wondering when.. well.. she keeps asking when we’re getting married” you laughed lightly

sunwoo smirked “oh really? close your eyes” he instructed

confused you did as you were told as you felt sunwoo get off you hearing the sound of the dresser opening

“okay now open” he said as you saw sunwoo with your own two eyes on his knee with a black velvet box in his hands

“sunwoo oh my god, don’t do this to me i-i’m” you stammered as you felt your hands begin to shake

he smiled and open the box where you saw a gorgeous sterling silver infinity ring with a small diamond in the middle

“[name] this isn’t an engagement ring, it’s a promise. a promise to always love you and cherish you, and to always respect you. i am going to marry you one day, when we’re both ready. i’ve never loved anyone as much as i love you” he vowed putting the ring on your finger

you then felt the tears flow grabbing his face with both your hands giving him a longing kiss falling back on the bed with him on top of you

as sunwoo began to take off his shirt that’s when you saw his necklace with the same infinity symbol as your ring

you smiled as you grabbed his necklace pulling him back down for another kiss

「 Eric Sohn 」

it was official you wanted to kill eric, he knew you were afraid of heights. yet he manage to persuade you on getting on an airplane to go to okinawa for a weekend getaway trip

you loved that he put so much thought into your weekend, making sure to pick the nicest hotel with a view by lots of restaurants and attractions

but you were beyond stressed, the only time you’ve been on an airplane is when you were little and moved to seoul from america, you barely remember the experience sleeping the entire trip

your body was shaking as you walked up the ramp finally boarding the airplane going to your seats

eric put away your luggage above the overhead bin and took the window seat hoping you would feel more comfortable being in the middle

as you took your seats your heart started to beat extremely fast and you started to breath heavily

eric took your hands in his “babe i promise it’s going to be okay flying is one of the safest ways to travel” he promised rubbing the side of your arm trying to calm you down

you nodded “no yeah your right i need to face my fears sometime” you bravely said

when the flight finally took off your nerves managed to subdued until you hit mild turbulence which freaked you out all over again

eric quickly grabbed his sleeping mask putting it over your eyes and large headphones with loud music trying to mask your senses which worked wonders as you lay your head on his shoulder

he held your hand tightly when you finally landed getting off the 2 hour flight

as you made your way to the hotel you were in awe of okinawa absorbing all the buildings and the mass of people walking by

you looked at eric “thank you eric this is amazing, i don’t think there’s anyone else i would trust to help me face my fears” you said bashfully

he leaned over and kissed your jaw “anytime babe” he murmured

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* © sunwoo-hoo 2 0 2 1  ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[mid-weast]

Will you keep it down? | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: You and Jungkook attend the same university and have been neighbors for 3 months now. It drives you crazy that he plays loud music at 2AM, and it drives him crazy that you barely acknowledge his presence.

Pairing: Jungkook x Female!Reader; Black!Reader

Words: 2.6K

Genre: enemies to lovers, student!jungkook, student!reader, fluff, mention of smut, angst? (in the form of bickering back and forth).

Authors note: Hi hi! This is the first fic I’ve ever written so if it’s bad I’m sorry. Also it is unedited so if there's grammar / spelling mistakes I'm sorry again! Also this is catered toward the reader being Black but I hope it can be enjoyed by everyone. Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated ok love u bye!

“Y/N? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!? Open this door RIGHT NOW!”

Even though you were studying in your room, his knocks were so loud you nearly jumped out of your skin. You had expected a reaction, but not a full-on explosion.

You and Jungkook have been apartment neighbors for about three months now, and a constant problem is that he blares his music hella loud late at night. Of course he’s a music major so he listens to music a lot, but at this point you don’t care. It doesn’t even seem like he’s working on composition homework anyway, just being an asshole with no regard for his neighbors peace. Now don’t get yourself wrong, you're not just some uptight bitch who complains about everything. Well, you do have several pet peeves but over the years of going to school in Korea you’ve picked and chosen your battles very wisely. In most cases you let things slide. You wouldn’t care at all about someone playing the music loudly, but it is 2 AM, and while you’re up studying you know a lot of your other neighbors are trying to sleep.

You tiptoe toward your front door and twist the knob slowly. You only open the door wide enough to be able to see his face. It’s not that you’re scared that you’re in danger or anything, and you rarely back down from people giving you a hard time. But you were tired, wearing a big ass t- shirt and short shorts (your regular sleep attire), and it was late at night. So if anything was going to pop off you felt pretty vulnerable. Even though you’re the same age, he towers over you and you find his size kinda intimidating.

As usual, you have to crane your neck to see his face, and your view of him is limited by the narrowness in which

you opened the door.

“Can I help you, lil boy?”

From what you can see of him, right away you can tell that he is pissed. Dawning his usual attire of a black sweatshirt with the hood up, black sweats, and stomp a hoe boots, he stood extremely close to your apartment door with his arms crossed. His usually wide, puppy dog eyes are now pressed in narrow slits. His normally pouty lips are formed in a hard line, and his jaw is so clenched you could carve an ice sculpture with his jawline.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You called the cops on me? Are you INSANE???" Jungkook shouts.

Obviously he's mad, and despite the amount of times you've gone back and forth he's never raised your voice at you. The old you would have screamed back at him, but over time you've tried to respond to anger with calmness. Also, you were a little scared because this mf is kind of big.

"I already told you if you keep blaring your music at 2AM, I was going to do something about it!" You respond in a hushed whisper, slightly concerned that your elderly neighbors will be even more disturbed by the noise. "I've told you this a million times, and you barely do anything about it. If anything, it's gotten worse like you're doing it on purpose. People are trying to sleep and I'm trying to study, why is this so hard for you to understand?"

He sucks his teeth. "You're such a little snitch. And I've already told YOU that YOU can't tell me what to do."

"I know I can't...but they can," you nod toward the exit, referring to the police officers that most likely just left out that way with a tiny smirk growing on your face.

If it was possible, he clenched his jaw even harder and you think that he's going to pop a blood vessel. He pushes his way into your apartment, which sends you stumbling back and you grab the door handle to regain your balance. This causes you to close the door shut.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're-"

He steps right up to you and leans down into your face.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, seriously??? Why are you such an annoying little brat? Just because you're a nerd with no friends who gets no play doesn't mean you can take your bitterness out on me.”

You have to laugh in his face at this point because hello??? First of all, who is he talking to? Second of all, you have told him a BUNCH of times to turn his music down late at night. You didn't think that was too much to ask. As far as you were concerned, being aware of your noise level when you live in an apartment is the universal bare minimum for being a human being.

"ME? Who do you think YOU are? Actually let me tell you. You're an entitled little rich boy who thinks he runs the world. I don't give a fuck about how popular you are on campus, how many people fall at your feet to be around you, and how many hoes you have, you cant talk to ME like that. And how are you going to try and tell me about myself when it's too much of a task for you to be a decent neighbor? I've never done anything to blatantly bother you, so why can you just.." You started to panic because usually when you raise your voice out of anger, your voice cracks and tears threaten to pool out of your eyes, but you tried to get a grip and not back down..."why can you just be nice to me so we can live in peace? Is that too hard for you???"

He looked kind of taken aback by your question. Being nice to you? It never crossed his mind. Also, you kind of had a point. When the semester started and you both moved in on the same day, you would shoot him a small, friendly smile in passing but you never seemed interested in getting to know him. He always wondered why that was. It's not that he had a problem talking with girls, since all he had to do was breathe and girls would come flocking around him, but you would flat out ignore him. Even at all the major parties at the beginning of the year and on Thursday nights when students take over the clubs in the city, you'd barely even acknowledge him. He KNEW that you had seen him too, since you would make eye contact, but you acted like he was just another guy at the club.

And he'd be lying if he said you weren't fine. You had thick thighs, a beautiful face, nice curves, and always wore outfits that hugged you in the right places. He always wondered what it would feel like to wrap his arms around your body and press it against his own. He would constantly sneak peaks of you throughout the night at the club, but something stirred in him when he saw that you were chatting up other guys. Was he...jealous? Jealous that you were so eager to pay attention to these dudes who, in his opinion, were decent looking but they were nowhere near his level, and you never even gave him a second thought? One night he even saw you leaving with a man he knew through mutual friends, and he had to physically stop himself from breaking the glass he was holding, because that guy, while objectively handsome, was nothing compared to him. Jungkook wasn't blatantly cocky, but he let his talent, charm, and looks speak for themselves. He was THEE Jeon Jungkook, and nothing ever really bothered him....except you.

Was he....interested in you? Nah, that can't be it. You were some random chick who happened to be his neighbor, who also is one of the only girls he's met that doesn't give two fucks about even having small talk with him, and that infuriated him for some reason. So the first time you came knocking on his door in an adorable pink satin pajama set with a matching bonnet complaining about his loud music, he knew the game he had to play.

He's still standing over you, centimeters away from you face, but you notice that his eyes soften a little and so does his jaw. He unclenches the fists he was holding crossed against his chest

You continue, “I don't care what you do, and I'm DEFINITELY trying to run your messy ass life. Believe me," you scoff, "you don't have enough money to pay me to do that. But when your dickhole behavior fucks with MY life is when it's a problem. And it's BEEN a problem."

He rolls his eyes. "Whatever, little girl, maybe I should call you little mouse now, since now I know that you'll go squeaking to the cops now, don't fuck with me or my music again.”

Without moving your head you look him up and down with a confused expression. "Am I supposed to be scared of you? No seriously, you look like you cry during Disney movies while wearing footie pajamas, and now here you are throwing a fit because I forced you to stop bothering the entire wing with your music?"

Girl...what are you saying??? This man just barged into YOUR place, is in your face, and is strong enough to pick you up and throw you, and you’re insulting him? But you figured if he's going to be rude, you'll throw it right back because you're tired of his bullshit.

Whatever softness he was feeling for a fleeting moment immediately left, and annoyance once again washed over. He straightens up a bit and puts on that annoying confident smirk he wears when he thinks he's won arguments between you two.

"You should be nicer to me, all it will take is for me to tweet one thing about you, and you'll be the most hated person on campus."

At this point, any suspicions that you had about him annoying you on purpose were confirmed. You've concluded that this mf is a bully and you, small and shy but not one to take mess, will put him in his place to-motherfucking-night.

You take a step toward him, now crossing your arms tightly against your chest, but he doesn't even move a hair backwards.

"Clearly you need a rude awakening so here it is. I don't know what type of people you've dealt with all your life, always saying yes to you, letting you boss them around and taking whatever bullshit you dish out, but let me tell you I am not the one. Never have been and never will be. Unlike the other fools around here who cream their pants at the mention of your name, I don't care about who you are. You'll respect ME and MY peace as long as we're neighbors, you get me?"

Now y/n, you have never so boldly stood up to someone, where did that come from, babes? You've tried to not let this entitled little boy get to you this whole time, but with him standing in front of you in the middle of your apartment with that extremely annoying, yet handsome, smirk on his face, and after all the crap he's said tonight, he had you all the way fucked up.

After you said that, he just laughed and looked away. Now you’re standing there fuming and confused...was there a joke you missed? You were being dead serious!

"Something funny?" you ask, narrowing your eyes.

"Nothing, just thinking about how I want to face fuck that annoying little mouth of yours so you finally shut up.”

Your jaw almost dropped to the floor. You've never had a guy say something so blatantly rude and vulgar literally inches away from your face. But again, you weren't going to back down.

"Oh really?" Scoffing and tilting your head to the side a bit while narrowing your eyes even more, "I'd very much like to do the same. Maybe then you'll learn your place."

"Oh please, princess, you probably blanch when someone around you even mentions the word sex." He chuckles and leans down close toward your face again and cocks his head to the side, scrunching his nose and in a pouty voice said, "you're fooling no one, but keep trying, maybe you'll get there.”

You're even more annoyed than you were before, if that was even possible. But if he wanted to play this game, you might as well go there with him. It's true, you were a bit more prudent than more, but it pissed you off that he could tell. Regardless, you do know some things to say that could have him leaving with his tail between his legs.

You pouted your lips and in a babying tone said, “Aww sweetheart you have no idea. You think you're big and bad but like I said, you probably cry watching Disney movies. The same way you'd be crying, begging me to let you cum down my throat as I mercilessly toy with your cock for hours.”

Now it's his turn to go pale. Y/n, his stuck up neighbor who has barely even spared him five seconds of her time just threatened to edge him into submission? He has to pinch himself because he must be dreaming....

“Well I-“

“But I don't even think we’d make it that far, hun” you continue, “because in order to humble your egotistical, disrespectful ass, I'm gonna have to ride your face until you suffocate. And when the paramedics come and I have to explain how you died, I won't even hesitate to tell them that you were a punk ass loser who LITERALLY drowned in my pussy!”

You don’t know who this person speaking is, but it is not you. All of the pent up hostility you’ve held towards him just flooded out of you and you couldn’t stop the words from coming out. To be honest you shocked yourself, but you still stood there with your arms crossed and your face unfaltering, just waiting for him to say something smart back.

He stared at you silently, eyes wider than you’ve seen before and his mouth hung slightly open. He wasn’t expecting you to respond with so much fire, but now he wouldn’t be able to sleep until the image you painted came true. His brain said fuck it, and his lips crashed down onto yours. The kiss is sloppy but passionate, and you swore you heard him quietly whimper.

When he feels you starting to kiss back, he smirks into the kiss. Your lips are moving against each other in tandem, and all thoughts about how much you despise the prick fades away. As you uncrossed your arms and placed them on his chest, you could feel his heart beating wildly. Was he as nervous as you were this whole time? You wonder. You knew he was a player, so he was experienced. But the thought that you made him nervous gave you a tiny confidence boost. His hands slowly slide up the sides of your body to sneak behind your back, to pull you further into his chest. As much as your brain was telling you to resist him and push him away, you couldn't help but fall victim to how soft his lips felt against yours. Suddenly you feel airborne as he swiftly reaches down behind your thighs and picks you up. You instinctively gasp but he doesn’t miss a beat, simply biting your lower lip and locking your lips together again.

“Maybe we should test that scenario of yours, and if it comes true, that wouldn’t be the worst way for me to go” he says, doing that annoying but soul-crushingly handsome smirk he likes to wear as he carries you off to your bedroom.