#my life's work and not respecting is at all on the off chance it might negatively impact anyone in any way bc negative impact on my mind is

[hmhas-00]

Ch. 8

Hit Me Hard & Soft

A/N- Hi lovelies! Plz don’t forget to like & rb. It means the world to me! :)

Remy’s POV

“Look at you. You don’t even respect your fucking self, man.” Billie mumbled, barely making any sense. Her eyes looked angry, bothered, annoyed. It wasn’t her.

“Let’s go home, you’re drunk as fuck. You don’t mean that.”

She swayed to the bass in place, slightly nodding her head to the beat. I didn’t even notice how much time had passed, standing there awkwardly to the side of the dance floor. Finneas came up to us. He had probably seen her yank her arm away and wondered what was going on.

“Let’s head out. She’s had too much.” I pointed towards the exit.

He took one look at her and nodded, calling the car out to the front.

“No! Fuck it, I do mean it. You’re too fucking scared to take a risk, so you keep sitting in your fucking office hoping one day you’ll do more than shred paper.”

That stung. I ignored her as Finneas and Claudia began to walk her outside. I wasn’t much of a help since I was struggling on my feet too.

“When I get back, you’ll be right where I left you. You’re not gonna go anywhere working for a fucking pig like him.”

“Is that what you think, Billie? What else?” I knew it wasn’t a good idea to argue back, but I didn’t care what state of mind she was in. I couldn’t believe she was saying any of this to me.

“Let’s just get in the car, Rem. She’s too fucked up, she doesn’t know what-“ Claudia shook her head.

“No! I’m not! And I’d like to- I want you to know I’m so serious. You let everyone treat you like shit! Your fucking ex, your boss, your parents!” She pointed.

“Shut up, Billie! Stop talking!” I put her seatbelt on her, struggling to put the buckle in the hole the first few times as Finneas drove off.

“Who took care of you when that motherfucker left you for another bitch?! Who lived with you and held you all day and night, and fed you, and made you whole again?” She shouted, scrambling her words, closing her eyes for emphasis.

“You want to throw that in my face now?” I was pissed. How dare she bring that up. There was no need to be that petty. I didn’t understand what brought this on her. She had never said anything so mean before. I knew it was the alcohol talking, but this hurt deep.

“And now! You’re just gonna leave me!” She pointed her finger.

“Leave you? Like you said, I’m not going anywhere! You’re the one leaving me!”

“She doesn’t mean any of this Rem, just ignore her.” Finneas reassured me, trying to deescalate the situation.

“No, say how you really feel, Billie!” I looked at her, squinting.

“You don’t believe in your fucking self! You beg me to believe in you, when you won’t even give yourself a fucking chance!” Her eyes closed as she tried to be louder.

“Oh, is that why you boss me around and tell me what to do with my life? Because you think I could do so much better being your fucking groupie?” I snapped back.

“You might as well be my fucking groupie! Better than being assistant TO the groupie!”

“You wish! So I could clap for you and gas you up every night? Like everyone else does?” I shouted back.

“Well, it’d be nice to have you be there for me once in a while, instead of putting work first like you always do!” Billie crossed her arms.

“You KNOW I can’t just do that!”

“Yeah, okay, whatever. You just wanna stay there and be a martyr so you can have something to complain about!”

“OH! So now I bitch about everything! I thought I kept things to myself and didn’t accept people’s help? Which one is it, Billie?”

“Whatever dude, you wanna be a sexy little office receptionist, and bend over for some bald fuck, and write some bullshit on a magazine, when you know you want to do more with your life.” She waved her hand around, her eyeliner running a little on the corner of her eyes.

“No, that’s your girlfriend Rachel! Weren’t you the one trying to suck her dick so she’d let me hop on a damn column?”

“I was trying to help you, dumbass!”

“I was trying to hang out with my best fucking friend before she travels the world for, like, a year!”

“Right! That’s why you wanted to get fucking wasted tonight! So you wouldn’t even remember our last night together.” Billie got teary eyed, blinking away her anger. “I didn’t even want to drink tonight!”

“No one forced you! You got all weird when that guy talked to me, and you shoved 2 shots consecutively up your ass!”

Claudia looked at Finneas. They shared a look and I wondered what that was about. He turned the corner toward my apartment and turned on his hazard lights.

“No one is concerned with who you wanna make out with, Remy!” She mumbled.

“Except you, because you act like my damn mother anytime anyone even looks at me!” I pointed at her. She stared at my finger, looking nauseous.

“Maybe if you had better judgment I wouldn’t have to fucking-“

“Whatever bro! You don’t get to tell me what to do with my life! And when you get back, you’ll see how fucking wrong you are! And how shitty of a fucking friend-“

“Shitty friend?? Because I want better for you?!” She leaned forward.

“You wouldn’t even know what being wrong feels like! Everyone always tells Billie Eilish yes!” I said, immediately feeling terrible. Immediately feeling like I crossed a line. But she had crossed multiple already.

Her face turned a shade of hurt I hadn’t seen before.

“No, fuck that! Fuck you, Remy!” She yelled.

“Fuck you, too!” I open the door and slam it, walking out before the car was even in park. Finneas fully stopped the car and ran out. He walked me to the door as I keyed in the code.

“I wanna make sure you get inside safely.” He held the door open for me when it unlocked. “God, I’m sorry, that was a lot.”

I held back tears and rubbed my arms, feeling the midnight breeze give me goosebumps before quickly walking in.

“She’s definitely not in the right mindset and I really don’t think she meant to be that-“

“Honest?” I asked, tears starting to stream down my face. “I think she did.” I called the elevator, pressing the button 18 times.

“Remy, she loves you. More than you think. You’re everything to- She just-“

“It doesn’t matter, Finneas. That fucking hurt. Drunk or not.“ I stepped into the elevator as the door slid open.

“Please, Rem. Listen, I know she was pushing it. I’m not gonna make excuses-“ He was visibly frustrated, pushing his hair back as he spoke. “And trust me, she’s going to feel like such a dick tomorrow-“

“I don’t care. I don’t want to hear it anymore from-“

The elevator door began to slide, when he stuck his hand in the way to stop it from closing. “Promise me you’ll see her tomorrow before she leaves for tour.” He looked serious, as if it would change anything. As if seeing her tomorrow would make it hurt any less.

I didn’t say anything. I just leaned back on the elevator wall, crossing my arms.

“Please. Think about it… I’m sorry, Remy. Have a good night.” He nodded, removing his hand and letting the door shut. My heart dropped as the elevator rose to the 5th floor.

In my apartment, I got ready for bed and threw myself into the pillows. My head spun and throbbed as the effects of alcohol slowly left my body. I knew everything would hurt tomorrow morning. I stared at my ceiling, hoping to fall asleep. I thought about Billie’s face when she said those things. When she told me I’d stay exactly where she left me. How can I give up all the hard work I’ve put in. I wonder if she was ever proud of me. I wonder if she knows how much I care about what she thinks of me. I thought about her face when I practically told her she doesn’t know what no means. I thought about her face when she told me “fuck you”. I wonder if tomorrow she’ll be hurting about all this as much as I am right now. We’d never spoken to each other like this before. It felt like she wanted to say more than she actually did…

Eventually my eyelids became heavy, and I drifted into a deep, deep sleep.

******

My eyelids slowly blinked open, staring at my wall. I groaned, stretching and turning on my other side. The light from my window was so uncalled for, causing me to squint and curl up into a ball. My head pounded, reminding me of the events last night.

“Oh shit.” I gasped, grabbing my phone faster than my brain could register. It was 1:02pm and a missed call from Billie displayed on my screen. I put my passcode in, messing up twice before finally being able to call back. The phone rang for a while. I sat up in bed, impatiently. No answer. I had overslept and didn’t have a chance to say good bye before she left on the tour bus. She was probably so angry at me. I remembered how much she hurt me last night, the words all freshly dancing around in my mind. I didn’t know what to make of it, but clearly she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I figured if she did, she’d call back.

I threw my phone at the foot of the bed and pulled the covers over my head, wishing away the awful headache. I closed my eyes and tried my best to fall back asleep so I didn’t have to think. Obviously, that didn’t work out. My brain wanted to walk me through the least blurry bits of our fight instead.

I threw the covers off and got up, going straight for the medicine cabinet and taking some Advil, dry. I rotted into the couch for the rest of the day, watching the tv show I wasn’t allowed to watch without her. I don’t know if I did it out of spite or to feel close to her. I’m sure she’ll be watching it without me anyway.

Each time I checked my phone for any calls or texts, my stomach did this weird flip thing. I waited all day to receive anything from her to no avail.

Around 8pm, I realize I haven’t had a bite to eat. As I put some almond butter toast on a plate, my phone dinged. I pulled it out of my pocket to see Billie had posted on instagram. An update to her fans letting them know she was on the road, and excited to see them in Quebec, Canada.

I made it a point to like the insta story post, so she knows that I know she’s ignoring me. This is bullshit, I thought. How petty, I thought, the irony going straight over my head.

[abyssalpriest]

I think whatever I end up doing the lesson is at its core "you need to stop seeing all attempts at saying you experience something as you taking up too much space and being dangerous, and you also need to understand everyone always makes mistakes sometimes (nothing anyone thinks is fully right) and you're not lesser and amateur at channelling because you aren't fully right, and also some third thing he says there is but idk what it is"

[watchmegetobsessed]

OLD GRUDGES (part 1)

A/N: wooohoooo im bringing something new!!! i feel like it happens so rarely it's like a miracle lol anyway, this will be hopefully a couple of parts (probably about 3) and lets all pray i will actually finish it lol

WORD COUNT: 3.7k

WARNING: sexual content

SUMMARY: Harry and Y/N go way back. Working together was like a dream when 1D was still going strong. Now, years later, when they end up working together again, things are very different. Mostly because Y/N seems to be hating Harry passionately. But he has not idea why.

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST

Everyone loves Harry Styles. It’s a known fact, not just amongst the people who actually know him, but all around the world. He is known as one of the most unproblematic celebrities, someone who gives just as much if not even more respect as he gets, always kind and patient with others, rarely loses his temper. It’s hard to imagine that there is anyone walking this planet who doesn’t see him as a lovable, sweet man.

Well, it might be hard to imagine, but there is actually one person who has a very different opinion when it comes to the british popstar. 

And that person is music producer, Y/N. 

The interesting thing is that their history goes way back into his 1D days. Y/N was an up and coming name in the industry, just started working with bigger names when she got the chance to produce several songs on the band’s third studio album. Harry remembers her as a bubbly, funny girl who is passionate about her job and is also excellent in it. Working with her was easy and motivating, she was always eager to perfect songs to an extent Harry couldn’t even imagine and that’s why songs like Story Of My Life, You & I and Midnight Memories were such hits. Y/N put her heart and soul into them, which eventually earned all the recognition they deserved. 

Harry loved working with Y/N and she was in talks of working on their fourth album as well, but the deal ended up ditched and she went on to do other projects and they somehow had a fallout. It was a shame, but he hoped his path would cross hers again. 

Years and years went by and so much changed by the time their professional ways finally met again. Jeff brought her name up when Harry just started writing for his fourth solo album and Harry gave him the go to do whatever it takes to get her on the project. A few weeks passed and Harry didn’t get any confirmation about her and just when he was about to bring it up to Jeff, he hit him with the news.

“Y/N is in for five songs. Contract should be signed by Wednesday and you can start working next week.”

Harry wondered why it took so long to get her on board, but he brushed it off because he knew she was a big name now herself and had plenty of offers from which she could choose from. He was excited to work with her and simply see her again.

It was utter shock for him when she was the complete opposite of what he remembered. Okay, that might be an overstatement, but Harry could feel something was off instantly.

She was still bubbly and fun, but for some reason, she had a certain iciness and bitter attitude whenever her focus was on Harry. To anyone else it was unnoticable, Harry knows, because he asked Jeff about it.

“What are you talking about? She is awesome,” the manager said with a shrug and Harry tried to tell himself it was all in his head, because if Jeff doesn’t see it, it’s not real.

But it kept happening and it felt even stronger when it was just him and her in a room. Sometimes she even pretended like he wasn’t there, sometimes her snarky comments were all he got and they just strengthened him in his belief. 

He wanted to ask her about it, he tried, several times, but his attempts just bounced right off her icy behavior so eventually, he gave up and there was only one thing left for him to do.

Return what he was getting. 

Yes, it is childish, but he felt like he needed to deal with her unreasonable hatred towards him somehow and this was the easiest way. Was it a smart idea to practically become enemies when working together on his album? Of course not. But it just happened.

And going against each other became their thing. 

They were great in arguing, disagreeing even when they could easily compromise, riling each other up and lashing out on each other when the tension had been building up for hours. It got to the point where others started to notice that something was off between the two of them and when Jeff questioned Harry about it, he couldn’t give him a reasonable explanation.

“She started it,” he said and instantly felt like a kid, telling on his classmate at school. But this is all he could say, because he had no idea why she was acting this way. And he has to live with it while they work together.

Something is off. Harry knows it. Something about the melody… or the guitar… or is it the lyrics? He can’t tell, he has listened to the recording a million times so it all melts in his ears and he can’t identify what’s setting him off every time he hears it. 

“Why don’t we take a break?” Jack, the technician suggests, turning in his chair. “Y/N will be here in twenty, I’m sure she’ll–”

“Okay,” Harry snaps, just so he doesn’t finish. He knows what he wanted to say. 

She’ll know what’s wrong and will correct it in a second.

Y/N always knows what’s wrong and most of the time it’s a perk, of course it is, but today, Harry feels like it’s gonna make him want to crawl out of his body. Maybe it’s because he’s been in the studio for five hours and he got nowhere or maybe because Mitch will have his first ever solo gig tonight and Harry has been worried his fame or relation to him might ruin this experience for him. 

Either way, today he is just extra pissed by the fact that Y/N will be the one to solve this mystery. 

“I’m gonna grab a coffee,” he clears his throat, standing up from his seat. “Do you want one?” he offers, feeling a bit guilty he snapped at Jack.

“Uh, yeah, just an espresso is fine, thanks man.”

“Sure, I’ll be right back.”

Putting on his headphone, Harry jogs across the street to the tiny coffee shop he’s been a regular at. He likes the place because they are discreet and their coffee is just simply amazing, though they swear there’s nothing extra in it. 

He waits for the two coffees at the end of the counter and scrolls on his phone in the meantime. Emails, messages, there’s always something to answer to. He sends out a few replies before he ends up in his calendar. It’s neatly color coded and he takes pride in keeping it up-to-date all the time so he can always be on top of his game, no matter what. 

His eyes land on one particular date. Five weeks from now Y/N’s contract expires and if the five songs are done by then, she’ll be out of Harry’s life again. Seeing how the work is going, she’ll easily outdo that number so there won’t be any reason for talk about an extension. 

An unsettling feeling spreads in his stomach as he stares at the date but he doesn’t have time to figure it out because  he is snapped out of his thoughts when the two paper cups are placed in front of him. He is trying his best to keep a positive mindset as he returns to the studio’s building. With the two coffee cups in his hands he makes a right turn and then stops at the door, seeing Y/N sitting where he did previously, already listening to the recording with Jack with a critical expression on her face. 

Harry doesn’t interrupt them, just stays put and waits for her feedback. When she is done listening, she leans back in her seat.

“It’s the bass. Or more specifically the lack of it. Can you double it? Let’s see how it changes.”

Jack is quick to do as she asked and then he starts the song again and…

Harry wants to scream and laugh in bliss at the same time, because it’s perfect now. He’s mad he couldn’t spot such an obvious thing, but he is also happy it’s finally sorted out. It’s just a shame Y/N was the one to do it and not him. 

“Great, so this is done then,” he makes himself noticed as he walks into the studio and hands over one of the cups to Jack. 

When he looks at Y/N he can see that familiar, irritated look on her face that’s almost always there when he’s around. He hasn’t decided if he wants to physically wipe it off, or…

“Thanks for bringing one for me,” she comments in a bored tone, turning back towards the screen.

“You weren’t here when I went out.”

“But you knew I was coming.”

Harry opens his mouth, but then closes it, because this time she is kind of right. And it irks him even more today.

It’s gonna be a challenging session today, Harry thinks as he takes a seat.

It’s always exciting for Harry to be behind the stage when he’s not the star of the show. Kind of like a whole different world.

He hasn’t been here for long, but he’s been trying his best to stay as unnoticed as possible and let Mitch take the spotlight. Just a few minutes ago Sarah put him on Scout-duty which he gladly took up on, he’s always happy to spend time with the little guy. This time he is letting him explore freely and he’s just following him around to make sure he’s safe. Scout seemingly enjoys the adventure with uncle Harry, who doesn’t really pay attention where he is heading. 

That’s how they end up in the green room where Y/N is.

Y/N and Sarah have worked together a while ago, which is a random coincidence how they are connected outside of Harry. Because of their history, Y/N is often where they are, however she was never around when Sarah and Mitch were playing for Harry. 

Scout runs up to Y/N, arms in the air, asking to be picked up and Harry stops a few steps away from them when he realizes who he just found.

“Hey there, little guy! Are you all by yourself?” Y/N asks, settling the boy on her hip.

She’s changed since they parted ways in the studio. Harry has always admired her sense of style, which mostly consists of basic pieces, almost like a capsule wardrobe, but there’s always something extra, something vibrant on her that makes her sets interesting. Tonight she is wearing a simple black dress with a rather low back cut, simple heels, simple makeup, but she added a silky scarf with vivid colors and shapes around her neck that brings Harry’s attention to the curve of her neck and collarbones, almost as a cheeky invitation for his eyes to her naked skin. 

He has to fight the urge to touch her.

Despite the spiteful relationship they’ve been sporting lately, Harry had to deal with a rather unreasonable desire for Y/N in a physical way.

Unreasonable, because he never thought he could be attracted to someone who pisses him off so easily, yet there’s been plenty of occasions when Harry found himself imagining scenarios he could never admit to her, not when she hates him with such obvious passion.

Tonight it’s not just the outfit, but also the way she’s handling Scout. It’s not just women who find it incredibly hot when the opposite sex is great with kids, Harry can definitely feel something inside him moving as he watches Y/N sway from side to side with the little boy in his arms.

“Uncle Hazza is here!” Scout points at him, answering her previous question. Y/N looks up and because Harry was already looking at him, he catches a slipping moment where there’s no irritation on her face, but it returns quite fast when her gaze settles on him. 

“Ah, hi,” she says, lips pressed together as she nods, acknowledging his presence. 

“Hey. Long time no see.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets it. Who says that? Why did he even say anything else other than hi? He smacks himself in his mind. 

Part of him expects her to say something like ‘not long enough’ but she just keeps quiet and turns all her attention to Scout. Harry feels out of place, he is supposed to be babysitting, but Y/N is taking care of Scout, Harry knows he is in good hands but Sarah asked him to watch over him. Should he leave? Or just keep standing there awkwardly?

“You can go, I’ll watch him,” Y/N says, as if she could read his mind. 

“You sure?”

“I’m pretty sure I can take care of him until Sarah is back.” Her reply is not just dry, kind of offended, nothing Harry wouldn’t expect from her, but it’s still irking him.

“I didn’t say you’re not capable, I just–”

“I’m not in the mood for this,” she cuts him off with an icy look. Harry is too stunned to reply, just watches Y/N walk away with Scout. 

He almost finds it amusing how easily she can piss him off, not many people have been able to do that, in fact, Harry thinks she does it the best. 

Clenching his jaw he takes a deep breath to calm his nerves and then just lets it all go. 

The after party is always kind of Harry’s favorite. The stress is over, it’s just the relief and celebration that is left.

Mitch’s show went well, that’s what Harry expected, but it’s still great he was right. Seeing his friend be the star of the show was an experience he is glad he could be part of. Now that the core of the group has moved to a nearby bar, Harry has loosened up thanks to the couple of drinks he’s had. 

He’s been mostly sticking to the familiar faces he knows, rotating between the same few people  while enjoying how under the radar he is currently. 

The more drinks he has had, the less he’s been able to control where his gaze goes. To be exact, he’s been finding himself looking Y/N’s way the past hour or so. That damn dress and scarf, it’s like she’s put a spell on him that forces him to keep wanting to look at her. 

Harry is not experienced with feeling like this. Being attracted to someone who he hates, it’s such an ambivalent impulse, he can’t think straight. Or maybe it’s the amount of tequila he has drunk tonight, either way, it’s getting a rise out of him. 

From the corner of his eye he sees her slip out to the back where the smoking area is, he hesitates, shifts his weight from one leg to the other before making the leap and heading after her. He has no plan, no idea what he wants to ro will say to her, but he just feels like he has to talk to her.

Stepping out to the dimly lit back alley he is met with a few people scattered around, having a cigarette with drinks in hand, talking or scrolling on their phone and then he spots Y/N on the left, standing by the wall, cigarette in one hand, the remaining of her drink in the other as she stares ahead of her. 

She doesn’t smoke regularly, but she does enjoy one in certain social settings or when she’s had a few drinks. Harry knows it from years ago, because they shared a cigarette at a party, back then she seemed thrilled to spend time with him, he remembers all the conversations they had while working together, telling each other stories, sharing their plans, Harry truly thought they would remain good friends on this extraordinary journey, yet they ended up here.

As Harry walks towards her, she notices him and he sees her lips twitch in annoyance. 

“Care if I join?” he asks and she just shrugs without a word, avoiding to look at him. 

They stand there in silence for a while, she is lazily puffing the smoke out from time to time.

“Is it still just an occasional thing?” he tries to strike up a conversation.

“Mhm,” is all he gets as a reply.

“Have you tried to put it down fully?”

“Why are you doing this?” she snaps at him, finally looking his way. 

“What?”

“Why are you trying to chit-chat when we both know we don’t do that?”

“And why don’t we?” He challenges her. “Tell me why we are like this in the first place, because I have no idea.”

She stares at him for long moments and he awaits her answer like nothing before, but then she shakes her head and turns to the pin beside her, puts the cigarette out and flicks it into the bin. Then, without another word she is already heading back inside.

It takes a moment for Harry to start moving again, but he is quick to catch up with her in the hall that leads to the restrooms. 

“Y/N, give me a fucking answer!” he demands, grabbing her wrist to pull her back before she could escape, but she shakes his hand off as she comes to a stop, turning towards him.

“I owe you nothing!” she hisses at him. “I owe you no one, but especially you!”

“What the fuck does that suppose to mean?! I never thought you owe me anything!”

“I’m not doing this, Harry, leave me the fuck alone,” she growls and tries to leave, but Harry pulls her back again, determined to get an answer this time. 

“Don’t think I will just swallow everything down forever. I will get to the bottom of this, whether you like it or not. It’s your choice if you make it hard on both of us.”

She is looking back at him with wide eyes, this time his hand remains on her arm as they stare each other down in the empty hallway. Neither of them knows what will be their next move, the tension is so thick, it’s almost suffocating.

But then it all changes.

If someone asked who moved first, they wouldn’t know. One moment they are standing like stone statues, barely even breathing, then the next moment they are kissing like there’s no tomorrow.

It doesn’t take long until Harry has her pressed up against the wall, his hands roaming her body, feeling her up the way he fantasized about before, they are both rough and impatient, she is clawing at him, moaning into his mouth when his hips press against hers and she feels how hard he’s gotten already. 

Blindly, Harry pushes the closest door open which happens to be the staff’s bathroom that someone left unlocked, lucky for them. Still glued together they stumble inside, Y/N kicks the door open before Harry pushes her against it and he locks it before his hand returns to her tempting body. 

He has never acted like this when it comes to sex. He does like to spice things up sometimes, but the way he’s biting her lips or unbuttoning his pants or reaches under her dress to pull her underwear down is just so out of character for him, yet so freeing. 

Nothing is said, but when her hands pull his hard, leaking dick out of his pants, there’s a fleeting look they exchange that says it all, just how much they both want it. 

It’s the fastest pace he’s ever experienced, yet the most passionate too. They moan at the same time when Harry pushes into her and starts moving in a rush, desperate for relief. She’s panting and whining for more, the only form of speaking she is able to as she holds onto Harry who is focused on keeping up his quick and steady pace while holding her left leg up to ensure the perfect angle. 

The animalistic need is there for them both, making them act like this is what they must do to stay alive. It’s messy, fast and mind-blowing and they don’t need much time to reach the peak. As she comes her nails dig into her shoulder and she bites into his bottom lip so harshly it draws blood, but he doesn’t care, only follows her into bliss just a second later. With the last bit of his consciousness Harry pulls out right before he comes, covering her thigh with the white, sticky evidence of just how much he enjoyed the past minutes. 

They are breathing heavily and Harry feels like a thick haze is still lingering around his head, stopping him from realizing what just happened. Y/N however is ahead of him and when reality comes crashing down on her, her instinct to flee kicks right in. Harry is still trying to clear his mind when she grabs a paper towel and cleans herself up as fast as possible and Harry only snaps out of his trance when she is already unlocking the door.

“Y/N, what the— wait!” He can’t go after her as she slips out of the room because he is still pretty indecent, so he has to pull his pants up and can only rush out then, but by that time she is already gone.

He’s quite frantic as he tries to find her in the bar, but she is nowhere to be seen. Harry returns to the rest of their group, hoping to catch her somewhere but she has vanished into thin air. 

“Hey, have you seen Y/N?” he asks Mitch, his eyes still roaming the place.

“Nah, haven’t seen her since she went out to smoke.”

Harry groans and makes his way outside, maybe she’s there waiting for a car, but as he steps out to the street he sees no trace of her. Fishing his phone out of his pocket he doesn’t hesitate before dialing her number. The line rings once, twice and then… it goes to voicemail.

“Hey, this is Y/N. Do whatever you want after the beep.”

“Fuck!” Harry ends the call and he has to stop himself from throwing it against the nearest wall. 

This is not how he planned. Well, he didn’t plan any of it, especially not fucking Y/N like a horny teenager. He wanted to solve this whole issue between the two of them but instead he just created another one.

A stupid, giant one. 

NEXT PART

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[ventique18]

The Diasomnia gang doing pullups for fun, because they're all Lilia's boys and are proud of it.

⚔️: "I know you don't need it, but good luck anyway Lord Malleus."

🐊: "UOGH! A DEMONSTRATION FROM THE VERY BEST..!"

🐉: "Well, well. I mustn't disappoint my juniors, must I?"

🌸: "Wait wait, take off your shirt!"

🐉: "Why?"

🌸: "Because I want to see-- I mean, Silver and Sebek did it. Why not?"

🦇, laughing through his tea: "Yes, why not? It might be better for your ventilation since you get hot easily."

🌸: "What he says."

🐉, removing his shirt: "Very well then."

🌸: "Ooooh"

🐊: "UOOOOOH!!!"

⚔️: "If you have time later, would it be possible for you to share pointers on how to better target certain muscle groups? You've inspired me to work harder."

It was not a body that people are used to seeing on models. He did not have those deeply-lined abs you'd expect from protein whey posters, but one glance and you'd understand the definition of someone at optimal strength and bursting with health. It was a body not sculpted to please, but specifically molded to kill.

He was General Lilia's protege, after all.

🌸: "Wait wait wait! Remove the pants too."

Silence. And then a collective shock.

🐊: "HOW DARE YOU--"

🐉: "Though I don't particularly mind indulging you, but why?"

🌸: "Because I want to see-- I mean you need to shed all the weight you can if you want to do well, right? You're carrying your own weight and all'at."

⚔️: "I don't think an additional few grams would bother him... Nor would a few kilograms."

🌸: "I mean, you're essentially competing against Silver and Sebek, right? Wouldn't you want to give it your all against them? Do everything in your power to beat them as an act that you respect them as opponents no matter the outcome?"

🐉: "Hm. You make a fair point."

🐉, taking off his pants: "If this will help improve my chances of winning, then..."

🦇: "YEAH! You could say you won strategically because you took off your pants and Silver and Sebek didn't!"

Lilia laughed HARD. He doesn't even know if he's laughed this much in his life. Gods and demons, as much of an undefeatable beast his protege was, he really was nothing against this little human.

[niningtori]

the way we were before | preview(s)

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: you've been in love with beomgyu for as long as you've known him. deep down, you've always thought that he loved you, too; so when he tells you that he's engaged to another woman, you decide to break it all off after a nasty fight in which he shows you just how little you mean to him. a life-ending accident seems to put your feelings to rest, for good. just when you think it's all over, however, you awaken to a time before everything fell apart; and you're determined not to repeat the same mistakes. it's just that beomgyu can't seem to let you go.

genre: ANGST (literally so much angst it's not even funny), romance, second chance!au, rebirth!au

warnings: mcd (and rebirth), depictions of death, suicidal thoughts

notes: below are snippets for you all to get an idea of what's to come. this work contains a lot of angst... and that's coming from ME. this might be too sad to the point of being corny but luckily i was born on the cob. don’t be mean to me tho i'm going thru it rn

"but you can't expect me to just owe you my feelings,” he snaps.

“that's not what this is about, and you know it.”

“seriously? that's exactly what this is about. you're the altruistic angel who does nothing wrong, and i'm just a fucking scumbag who takes advantage of you, right? well, i'm sorry, but it's not my fault that you're acting so goddamn crazy over something so stupid.” your eyes burn with an intensity so great, it feels like they're being seared out of your skull. in this moment, you realize that he will never, ever respect you enough to consider you worthy of being leveled with. he doesn't think you're even worth the time. you're his silly, lovesick best friend who's absolutely delusional to the point of being laughable for suggesting that he actually take you seriously, for once. and that revelation breaks you like nothing else.

you won’t do this anymore. you couldn’t even if you wanted to, and you don’t.

-

the collision is bone-shattering in the literal sense. you’d think you’d feel adrenaline alone in such a situation, but you can feel pain bursting out of every cell of your body as you feel yourself stilling after being thrown back and forth in your seat. every organ, every bone, feels like it’s just been crushed, and not for the first time today, you’re struggling to breathe.

as you feel yourself slipping out of consciousness, one immovable thought resounds in your head: i wish i never met him.

-

“don’t even bother finishing that sentence. you don't like me at all,” you sneer. “you just don’t like seeing me move on.” this makes him pause, and even you don’t have the heart to pretend like you can’t see the hurt in his eyes.

notes pt. 2: yeah...

if you would like to be tagged in this work, please let me know by commenting or sending an ask! thank u <3

[with-my-calamitous-love]

CARVE YOUR NAME INTO MY BEDPOST / MIGHT AS WELL BE DRUNK IN LOVE

shouto todoroki x f! reader

at a work party gone wrong, shouto finds a secret moment with you amongst the crowd.

smut! you are responsible for what you read!

inspired by dress + slut!

it was hard to find secret moments in a crowded room.

shouto todoroki, now japan’s #2 hero and possibly one of the most famous men in the nation, was loved everywhere. he was handsome, and just socially awkward enough to be charming. he was the topic of most headlines and gossip tabloids these days- and the press thought the knew everything about him. a 22-year old male capricorn, the youngest sibling and a top ranking graduate of UA high school.

one thing shouto relished in, secretly, was that no one had any idea about you and him.

and its not like they made it particularly easy for him.

like now.

shouto came to this event dressed in a sleek black tie and all eyes on him. at this point, he had grown somewhat used to it. he’d you, his wife, by his side. you’d squeeze his hand 3 times everytime you felt his anxiety flare up, especially when the lights began flashing and the familiar clicks of the reporters came about.

at first, he could handle it. just smile, nod, and let the world watch him act. its what he did for most of his life, anyway.

“shouto! are you still maintaining a relationship with your father?”

“shouto! over here!”

“is it true you and your wife want to raise your first child as a hero?”

“can you tell us about your marriage?”

“are you trying to be more like your father these days?”

“how is your family coping with everything thats happened?”

“shouto! what can you tell us about touya todoroki?”

it was starting to grate on him.

he felt the sweat trickle down his forehead at the constant questions. his fists clenched, wanting to shut off all the noise. they had put him and his family through enough, yet they still looked for more stories and more gossip.

he did his best to answer all the questions, taking a deep breath and disassociating like his PR team had told him to do. he was handling it, up until he couldn’t find you through the crowd.

his blurry and hazed eyes scan the room, looking for you and where you might have gone. the air suddenly began to thin, the years of anxiety and inadequacy beginning to build up at the back of his throat. worst of all, you weren’t there to help him ground himself. he was lost in a sea of people, and none of them were you.

luckily, someone else was there to step in.

“OI! BACK OFF FOR ONCE!”

a familiar blonde barks, much to the relief of shouto. after all, pro-hero dynamight had just as much respect as shouto, and the media was more or less used to his abrasiveness.

he lets out a sigh of relief as most of the reporters and fans take a step back, allowing him and bakugou to escape to different corner of the room. the #1 hero immediately senses something is wrong, specifically the fact that you weren’t with your husband.

“the press getting to you?” the blonde asks, his usual dick-bag self being suppressed to help his ‘friend.’

shouto nods, and bakugou sighs sympathetically. even someone like him, who relished in the fame and praise of being hero, understood the mistreatment shouto had experienced all his life. he saw how that mistreatment was only amplified when the public got involved.

“wheres [y/n]?” he asks, red eyes scanning the room for any sign of you. shouto does the same, like a boy in the sea searching for a raft.

bakugou rolls his eyes, deciding he’ll be the hero. “go look for her. i’ll keep them off your back.” he says, turning back to the media frenzy and adjusting his tie, ready to give them what they want. “but you owe me one, icyhot.”

with one manly pat on the back, bakugou walks back out to the crowd, giving shouto a chance of peace.

he immediately opens some door to a room. its some fancy, pompous washroom only the rich could afford. the size of it could it a family, if it wanted to.

but he didn’t care about the lavish architecture. he cared about the way his heart calmed down at the sight of you, sitting on the counter.

“hey.” he walks over to you, sitting next to you and taking your hand. you immediately note his anxiety, evident by the dryness of his throat. theres guilt that creeps into your throat once you realize you left him all alone.

“hey, sho.” you say, immediately taking his hand in yours.

“i lost track of you in the crowd. are you okay, love?” he asks, bi-coloured eyes staring at you with nothing but love. you squeeze his hand in reassurance.

“i’m okay.” you say, chuckling awkwardly. “just, you know… parties.”

he nods sympathetically, understanding how neither of you were particularly fans of big crowds. his gaze flickers over to the washroom door for a moment, making sure the door is locked.

“are you okay, though? those reporters out there were down your throat.” you ask, watching as his expression darkens slightly. from just outside the washroom, the sounds of partygoers can still be heard loud and clear.

he boy sighs, the stress of the media's questioning weighing on him. he appreciates your concern immediately, and he knows he can at least be honest with you.

"it was...a lot," he admits, running a hand through his hair. "they kept asking about my family, and about the you...and i just feel like they're trying to get a reaction out of me."

you nod, understanding his frustrations. you’re quick to validate his worries. “thats exactly what they’re trying to do. they’ll profit off of anything.”

shouto knows that to be completely true.

after the news of endeavour’s abuse towards his family (specifically his firstborn son) came out, shouto felt as though him and his entire family had been engulfed in flames. he soon learned that the paparazzi will do anything for a story. the more you fall apart, the more they’ll flash their camera’s and take notes of your pain.

it seems despite his valiant efforts to get out from his fathers shadow, theres still people that won’t let him forget it.

as if you two share a psychic connection, you can immediately sense whats on his mind. his pain is yours too, and it kills you knowing that there not much you can do to stop it. “i remember when they got a hold of your family story. they took the years of abuse and made money off of it.” you scoff. “its disgusting.”

he feels a pang of anger and disgust at the memory of the media's handling of his family history. he can still remember the way they had twisted and distorted the truth, using it for clickbait headlines and sensationalized stories. it had been traumatic and painful, and they had made it all seem like entertainment.

"it is," he agrees, his voice filled with irritation. “they had no right to turn our lives into a spectacle for their profit. it made me sick.”

you sigh, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “so much talk about your father these days… i can’t imagine what you’re going through right now.”

shouto ruminates for a second, looking down at his own lap. being young is art, in its own twisted way. being famous means constantly being reminded of what hurts you the most. for shouto, that was the fear that he would one day resemble his father.

they loved to think he’d never forget.

the constant discussion and speculation about his father's actions and legacy has been weighing heavily on him, and he's been trying to distance himself from it as much as he possibly can.

"it’s been...difficult," he admits quietly, looking down at your intertwined hands. “i know who my father was, and what he did, but i feel like everyone is always waiting for me to do the same. like… they're just waiting for me to make a mistake so they can say 'see? you’re just like your father after all.'"

his voice cracks slightly at that last part.

you shake your head valiantly, cupping his face and making sure he’s looking at you. the only other sound that can be heard in the room are the quiet drips from the sink. otherwise, you and shouto managed to drown out the noises from the party. all that mattered was the two of you, together, as if you were in a snow globe.

“shoto, listen. you aren’t your father. you’re so much more. i know the man i fell in love with. i know him because he’s twice the man he came from. he’s kind, and strong, and everything his father wasn’t.”

at that moment, shouto thinks: what if all he needs is you?

“thank you.” he whispers, pressing his forehead against yours. “i needed that.”

you easily reciprocate, feeling his warmth and all that makes him him.

“it’s everything that made you.” you whisper. “all that pain and all that suffering you went through… it made you the man i fell for. all those dead end streets led you to me.” you smile.

with that, he feels truly at peace. if all that suffering led him to you, he’s consider it worth it. he’ll pay the price and you won’t, as long as it means he can love you.

without a word, he leans in to kiss you. his lips fit on yours like the universe especially crafted you two for each other. nothing else matters right now. all of that pining and anticipation, his hands shake from holding back this entire night. he’s desperately waiting to love you, and show you how much he does.

✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚

theres indentations of shouto all over you.

first, your head. because he’s all you think about. his jokes, his smile, and the way he makes you feel.

second, your heart. he never wanted you like a best friend. half the time, he dresses up just so he can feel your hands remove the fabric from his muscles, kissing every patch of exposed skin possible.

third, in between your thighs. literally, because he’s on his knees, head between your legs and pressing his soft lips against your clit. he could carve his name onto your skin if he wanted to, and you’d probably let him.

one of your hands press against your mouth, trying to silence the urges to cry out for him. he looks so fucking gorgeous right now, his tie undone and shirt just unbuttoned enough to show off his muscles. his abs are covered in kiss marks leftover from your lipstsick- a finishing touch to an already beautiful masterpiece.

he’s tugged your panties all the way off, and pushed your dress high enough to give him access. he was salivating just thinking about getting between your legs, tasting you and letting you cum in his mouth.

you tug at his hair in fistfuls, urging to give you the orgasm you need. his eyes are closed, focusing solely on the way his tongue swirls around you. his mouth and chin glisten from all of it, and he’s doing this for his pleasure just as much as yours.

the way you moan makes him tighten his grip on your hips, ever so slightly increasing his pace. he chuckles to himself, acknowledging the effect he has on you. the vibrations of his voice and warm breath pushing against your already pulsing core sends a shiver down your spine.

“careful, love.” he whispers, only pulling away from you slightly. “wouldn’t want anyone to find us, hm?”

“i know.” you whimper. “fuck, just don’t stop.”

he happily obliges.

“good girl.” he whispers, his tongue slowly circling the bundle of nerves in a messy pattern. his tongue moves in a maddening pace, sending brain-melting waves of pleasure to you.

the ecstasy is inescapable, and you’re not even gonna try. this was your secret. those people out there, that thought they had you and your husband figured out, had no idea what was actually going on right now.

you’re his one and only, his lifeline. forever, he wants to wake up by your side. you’re the only person who makes his hand shake and heart beat despite all the pain he’s gone through.

“say my name.” he says, looking up at you.

“shouto!”

and everything just stops.

he’s lovesick, all over his face. his tongue blessedly picks up the pace, not daring to stop for even a second. you’re lovelorn and nobody knows. everyone wants him, and thats your crime. you silently cry out, head throwing back while you feel that not in your abdomen slowly begin to unwind. he guides you threw it, making you cum from nothing but his mouth.

and when you do cum, he takes it all happily. because in a world of boys, he’s a gentleman.

the two of you were all dressed up- they may as well be looking. shouto came to that party with a sleek black tie, and left without it. he only bought it for you to take it off.

tags! 🫧

@crushmeeren @whenanafallsinlove @bbluefllame @satirediary

p.s i don’t normally write smut so i have no idea if this is good or not 🥹 thank you for reading!

[gaysindistress]

What if Simon didn’t listen when Price told him to apologize to his girl before she does go off and find herself a better man? - part two

a/n: I know John isn’t American but I kept picturing him as Joe from SIX and honety Gibs from NCIS and I couldn’t stop myself. I sincerely apologize that this John is American-grumpy-hot-military-older man coded (not really). Also I know it took a month and I’m so sorry 🙈 I got so busy at work but it’s here! Enjoy!!

Warnings: smutty smut smut, phone sex

non-mcu masterlist

part one

Taglist: @going-to-ikea-for-the-fries @calicocat45 @whos-fran @vonev @yyiikes

The situation at hand is tricky to say the least. Waiting around and trying to be careful of everyone’s feelings will push you away. On the other hand, he’s wanted to show you the love that you deserve and now is his chance.

Fuck Simon.

Fuck him for treating you like a safety net and like you’re replaceable. Fuck him for letting you shoulder the burden of your relationship and expecting you to always be at his beck and call. Fuck him for lying to you instead of having the balls to just be honest about why he wanted to break up. Fuck Simon Riley for saying that you could find a better man and expecting you to not listen to him for once.

“I want a lot of things,” he starts and takes a moment to choose his words, “I might be a gentleman but I’m a selfish man. I won’t take what’s not offered but you’d be hell bent to find me sharing my life with others. If you say that it’s over and mean it, well then love, I’ll be the most selfish man you’ve ever met when it comes to you. Im not some young lad anymore; I’m settled in my life and now that things are stable I want someone to share it with. I’ll follow your lead when it comes to how we share it but just know that I don’t want something casual or even friendship.”

You’re still resting your chin on his shoulder, listening to his every word as hope begins to fill your eyes. It’s the last sentence he whispers as he gazes down at you that causes your breath to hitch;

“I’ll love you until my lungs give out.”

And this man Delivers. The capital d is not a typo. John Price understands that you’re an independent person and he respects that. That’s not to say that he doesn’t spoil the absolute shit out of you and ensures that you are happy in every facet of your life imaginable.

The dogs are being wild today and overwhelming you? As soon as he gets home, he’s taking them out on a walk and giving you instructions to go have yourself a nice hot bath. Dinner is already taken care of so no need to worry about that. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the quiet.

He’s been on deployment for a couple weeks and the loneliness is starting to creep in? You will be getting at least two check in texts a day and a call or FaceTime if he can before you go to bed. You should also expect some sort of care package to be on your doorstep weekly. This could be anything from flowers to your whole ass Amazon cart, all you need to do is say you miss him and he’s got you covered.

Things have been a little tense between the two of you? Well get ready because you’re going to be doing a check in that night where the two of you talk about whatever is going on. If it’s something small like you’re both stressed from work and a weekend getaway is needed, he’s already got that planned. If it’s something that needs more work, he’s ready to dive right into it and figure it out.

Still true to his internal word, nothing physical happens between you two at first. He wanted desperately to kiss you when he told you he would love you until his last breath but he didn’t. Disgusted by the enormity of his craving for you, John vowed to wait until you asked for his physical affection. Of course this meant he wouldn’t give into any of your advances until you told what you wanted.

After that night, you began the long and arduous process of breaking down John’s resolve. While it may have been unspoken, you knew what he wanted but you weren’t going to give into him so quickly. It started with closing the distance between you two. Instead of sitting on opposite ends of the couch, you’d lay your feet in his lap or move just close enough to trail your fingers over the back of his hand. Only would you move to sit beside him if he slung his thick arm over the couch’s back and beckoned you closer. Then you would take every opportunity possible to cuddle into his side and slyly skirt your hands across the waistband of his sweats when you wrapped your arms around him. If you were in the kitchen together, you were always just out of his grasp. His fingers could grasp at the back of your shirt but never fully grab you. You’d swiftly slip around him if he moved behind you but not before brushing your hands over him in some way.

Eventually you grew bolder and began to shower with the door propped open. You’d said it was so the dogs could still see you but John isn’t stupid. He knew that you wanted him to catch a glimpse of your body through the foggy glass doors. But here’s the thing; he’s not Simon. Simon would’ve joined you and fucked you on that glass door like your life depended on it but not a captain price.

No no no. John Price is going to make you say those three little words, ‘I want you’, before he touches you even if it means leaving on for a mission without so much as a chaste peck on the lips. No amount of sly looks and sneaky touches is going to convince this man to give into you.

He starts beating you at your own game though. his bedroom door is suddenly always cracked open making it so that you can hear every rumbling moan and gasp of your name when he fists his cock at night. You no longer feel the waistband of his underwear when you wrap your arms around his am waist during your cuddles. Instead your fingers find the thick trail of hair that disappears under his sweatpants. Speaking of which, John knows about grey sweat pants and he exploits that turn on every chance he gets. Soon it goes from just wearing them low on his hips to forgoing boxers (as mentioned above) and sometimes he even ‘forgets’ his shirt. The memory of his thick bare chest on display alone is enough to make you clench your legs together.

When he finally does have to leave for work, he presses a light kiss to your temple and tells you to be careful. It goes without saying but John makes your promise anyways. Eases his old heart as he likes to say. If only he would go easy on yours…

Nearly every photo, FaceTime, what have you, this man is bare chested with lidded eyes and a knowing smirk on his face. He knows that you’re frustrated with the way things have played out; namely his departure with no memorable moments. He’s already become an expert in you, knowing what your body langue means, what your blushes mean, and most importantly, what your words truly mean.

Probably about a month in to this mission is when it comes to a climax. Your hands were doing nothing to ease the ache between your legs and your toys were making it worse. It was as if your body knew that it was you instead John rubbing small circles into your clit late at night. You’d tried nearly everything you could think of aside from finding someone in a pub and telling the older captain about your dilemma. While you two weren’t anything more than roommates with feelings at this point, it still felt wrong to find someone else to help you out. With only one person that your body wanted and nothing you could do about it, you settled for being sexually frustrated and irritable.

John is finally able to get some alone time to call you and actually talk to you. Settled into some poor excuse for a cot, he makes himself comfortable as he waits for you to pick up. It makes maybe a few rings before your tight voice comes through with a short ‘hello?’

He wants to chuckle and fails to suppress it, “Well hello to you too, love.”

Immediately you sigh when you recognize his voice, “oh John it’s you. How are you?”

“Been better. What’s been going on with you?”

You let out another deep sigh, pausing to answer as you contemplate what to tell him.

“What is it, love? Something bothering you?”

“I…I’m just….im just irritable,” you attempt to pass off as the full truth but John knows you better than that.

“Irritable you say?”

You can hear him shuffle around on his end and it causes your legs to cross to even think about him. God it’s beyond annoying to be this turned on over just hearing him move around, let alone hear his voice right now.

“I’d say a relaxing day is in order,” he teases with a low pitched sultry tone, “find some relief in a massage maybe.”

Relief.

The word feels hot as it washes over your brain and invokes images that would make a nun curse under her breath.

You snort at his suggestion. In that small noise, he finds all the answers he needed; you’re about to break and murmur those three sweet words.

“No appeal to that, love?” He asks and you can just hear the smirk he’s wearing. “A massage isn’t the relief you’re looking for though is it? You need a different type of relief, isn’t that right love?”

That bastard.

You hear him shuffle again and you swear to god you hear the sound of a belt coming undone.

“Talk to me. Tell me how I can help.”

If you weren’t needy before, you must certainly are now. You feel pathetic, a bitch in heat with the way your body starts to react to his simple words. Practically mumbling you attempt to tell him to fuck off but it doesn’t sting as much as you’d hoped. John laughs off your feeble attempt at hiding the true reason you’re in a mood.

Instead of adding flame to fire, he stays quiet.

It takes 40 agonizing seconds of silence for you to groan his name out of frustration. The captain only hums his acknowledgment that you spoke.

Phone sex isn’t new to you by any means however there’s something about this time that causes you to falter. There’s something about the way he initiated it but is allowing you to lead where it goes. There’s something about the way he knew what you needed within seconds. There’s something about the way your body seems to know that it craves his without ever touching.

“Yes,” you mumble while your cheeks burn and your body sings at the thought of getting what it truly desires.

John chuckles under his breath and the sardonic sounds causes your eyes to squeeze shut.

“Be a good girl for me and slip your hand into your panties.”

Your hearing dulls to a muffled tone as your hand follows his instructions. Barely does your ears register the sound of skin on skin, a slick hand taunting an impossibly hard cock. Your name comes out as a groan when you tell him to continue.

“Fuuckkk, love. Tell me are ya wet?”

“S…soaked.” You sigh as you roll your clit with your fingertips.

He lets out a string of curses as his hips buck up into his hand and his cock throbs from his slow pace.

“I want you to keep rubbing your clit and fuck yourself with your fingers,” the captain orders you, “and dont try to hide any of those pretty sounds.”

You mumble a weak ‘okay’ as you work your clit in small circles, feeling yourself become even more wet.

Strings of curses fall from his lips as he listens to your desperate cries of pleasure. The sounds of his thrusts get louder and louder in time when you bury two fingers in and become to fuck yourself like he told you to. It feels better than all of your other attempts but it’s not enough.

Nothing will be enough until you can feel John’s cock deep inside of you. Until you can feel his hips rut against yours and his hoarse moans in your ear. Until you feel the burn that his facial hair will give you when he eats you out like a starved and neglected dog. Until you feel his warm speed leak from you after he’s worked you through several of your own orgasms.

The thoughts of what is to come push you over the edge and you moan out his name in an absolutely pornographic manner. It stirs something disgustingly powerful and sinful deep in his gut when he hears it. He can only imagine the beautiful display of pleasure and bliss that you’ve come as you lay panting post orgasm.

You can only imagine how stunning he looks with his sweats pulled down to his mid thigh, his bare chest rapidly rising and falling while his stomach is painted with his own cum.

“John?” You whisper after your breathing has returned to normal(ish). “When are you coming home?”

His lips turn up in a smirk at your word choice, “missing me more than you let on, now are ya love?”

“Yeah it’s lonely without you here. you can’t leave on another deployment like this without fucking me before.”

“I promise it won’t happen again, my love.”

[billskeis]

could u do subby 2006 tom whos inexperienced in pussy eating and he wants to do it for the first time on reader and she guides him through it cuz hes nervous but turns out being rlly good. and he asks "am i doing good" "is this right" and u praise him and hes just ends up being the best at it. :)))

ᡣ𐭩 subby tom eating you out

you lay in bed on your phone, scrolling on all forms of social media to cure your boredom. tom had finished showering a while ago and had finally taken the towel off upon his head, entering your now shared bedroom that was led in from the bathroom.

“okay! i’m ready babe.” curious, you raised an eyebrow at him.

you put your phone down and look up at your boyfriend who’s now sitting on the edge of your bed, “ready for what tom?” he now looks down at his lap and twiddles his fingers within each other. it seems at though he cannot make eye contact with you because his gaze constantly directs to every inch and corner of the room that didn’t include you in its peripheral.

“i-i wanna eat you out..” your face heats up at his sudden request. you’ve discussed with tom on some occasions of his experience with intimacy and never in his life has he ever gave someone cunnilingus.

“you.. you what?” you ask him again now sitting up, leaning closer into him as he shies sway from you a bit. cheeks tinted a suble pink, he swallows hard at your quick movements to tease him.

when it came to it, you always serviced tom, and it’s not like he forces you too, he deserves it. matter of fact, it drives you insane when you get to see your boyfriend in a complete and utter state of ecstasy.

in comparison to tom, he’s always receiving instead of giving, afraid of the risk that he won’t be able to satisfy you fully. thus to why none of you gave it a chance, you respected his boundaries and therefore never pressured him about it.

but alas, tom was wholeheartedly ready.

“tom, i’m waiting for you to repeat what you said.” your hand now joined together with his. squeezing it, tom inhales deeply in attempts to figure out the words that need to come out of his mouth. he didn’t want to sound desperate, but he really wanted to make you feel good, he just had to.

“please schatzi, lemme go down on you..”

his head lowers to meet your core, only a bit of your entrance shines with slick. extending one of your arms, you bring your hands to the back of his head, softly gripping onto to his dreads to direct his face closer to your pussy to which he willingly obliges to.

kitten licking, he barely swipes his tongue over your pussy. looking up at you expectingly, “is—is this right?” “mmhm.. you’re doing just fine baby..” tom beings to lick down your folds, occasionally darting his tongue into your entrance that leaves you whimpering a bit.

hearing this, he groans. you couldn’t see it, but the opposite hand he had from aside the one holding your thigh up to your stomach, was him palming himself. the slight vibrations of his voice is felt in your cunt, making you shudder a bit.

“tom..” “hmm?” “head up,” your hand on the back of his head softly brings him up to look a little above your pussy. “see this?” he nods, watching as you now begin to circle your fingers on your clit that leaves your cunt clenching for more.

making note of this motion, he licks his lips, tongue running across his piercing in hopes to quickly replace your fingers with his mouth.

“move,” he demands, you take your fingers away for tom to quickly latch his mouth on your clit, suckling away at the sensitive bud. he switches from flattening his tongue on your clit to then lap up the juices from the entirety of your heat.

when tom first started, he had no rhythm to it. this lead you to guide his head up and down your pussy to show him how you want it. getting a feel for the motion, keeps up with the pace.

fuck, this feels way too good you might come already.

“am i doing good my sweet girl?” in between breaths and words, he just continously works his mouth on you, leaving no room for you to speak as you cannot bring yourself to say the words. “god, you taste so good i can’t believe i let myself wait this long..”

bringing your legs to hang over his shoulders, tom is now gripping onto your thighs harder. he wants to bring your pussy to his face, wanting to indulge in it furthermore than he already is.

he’s messy, his chin was soaked from the grool of your cunt that pooled with every lick, “schatz, i asked you a question..” “s’good already tom.. f-fuck!”

tom laps up all the juices that just flow out of you, wanting to collect every drop of it, “praise me more baby,” “doing s’well, you’re making me feel s-so good..”

groaning, he can’t help but shake a bit. tom didn’t even notice the painful, tightening feeling in his pants, let alone the dark spot that accompanied his crotch.

he could care less, your pussy was wayyy more important to him than his dick right now.

“gonna come.. ‘m gonna come tom..” “come on my tongue baby, do it, just for me..” with one harsh lick at your clit left you shaking, you came undone on tom’s mouth who’s sucking at your pretty cunt that glistens with a mix of his saliva and your juices.

clenching on nothing, tom notices your pussy needing a bit more attention. fucking his tongue into your whole as you ride your high, the muscle slides in and out as you grind your hips onto his face, nose nudging your clit you can’t help but whimper.

“unnnnnh t-tomm..” as your orgasm washes over you, tom finally sits up and reveals the sight of his face after he ate you out. dreads a bit messy, come and saliva dripping down to his chin. he smacked his lips as he licks around mouth swiping over his piercing extra slow to tease you.

god how he looked sexy doing that.

he brings his fingers to collect the remains of your juices off his chin, sucking on the pads of them. he smiles and smirks at you, bringing his face to now kiss yours who was attempting to catch a breath.

for his first time, he was pretty fucking good.

interlocking his tongue with yours, you can taste yourself in his mouth. the taste wasn’t to your liking, but you couldn’t really care less. tom made you feel good, and tom was happy. that’s all that mattered right now.

“i do good baby?” “you did, amazing,” licking up his chin to then leave a kiss on his mouth. giggling, all he could do was hug you, happy that he was just able to please you.

twitching, tom gasped as you motioned your hand to feel up his hard-on. breath on your ear, he whines a bit at the foreign feeling of sensation on his neglected dick.

“now let me please you baby."

[calqlate]

THE LOVE & DEEPSPACE MLS AND THEIR KDRAMA ML COUNTERPARTS

INCLUDES: rafayel + sylus + xavier + zayne

WARNING(S): might be ooc bc i don't really keep up with the lore so there might be some inconsistencies (oops) (pls be gentle) (it's 10pm here and my brain is running on adrenaline) + contains some canon lore drops ig

MASTERLIST

NOTE(S): i will never stop inserting my fandoms into kdramas bc i love seeing worlds collide. anw pls partake in this brainrot with me 🤩

— RAFAYEL

ryu sunjae from lovely runner - they are both absolute losers for their respective lovers. i can picture rafayel in that one scene where sunjae was blowing kisses towards sol's house. no matter how hard his beloved tries to cut him out from their life to save him, he will always find his way back into their life.

jeong guwon from my demon - similar to sunjae, guwon is also another loser for his wife. (tbh i can imagine rafayel as a down bad simp for his lover; cue thomas sighing and shaking his head.) i can picture rafayel in the scene whereby guwon and dohee were doing that tango while fighting off their enemies too?!?!

lee yeon from tale of the nine-tailed - continuing the loser boy train, we have yeon as the final dude to add in this group. (specifically yeon from s2, bc the way he wanted to go back to his timeline so badly to see jiah matches rafayel's "the only person i'll ever love is my lover" energy.) their backstories also match in the sense that yeon never stopped searching for jiah and rafayel never stopped waiting for his bride.

— SYLUS

myulmang from doom at your service - not me choosing myulmang bc they both made contracts to their beloveds [clown emoji]. but nonetheless they're similar in the sense that they won't think twice about eliminating someone who hurts their lover.

shin wooyeo from my roommate is a gumiho - again, another contract situation. wooyeo is a "classier" version of sylus imo, and one who uses less pet names. if sylus were the ml in this kdrama, he would defo keep an even more watchful eye on his beloved so that she doesn't go about losing his fox bead. (aur naur iw to write a gumiho au for sylus now...)

lee youngjoon from what's wrong with secretary kim? - similar to youngjoon, sylus will never let his lover leave. they want to leave his mansion? he will try 101 (legal) ways to make them stay. they will find snacks they like in their room more often. they will find new (and expensive) clothes in their wardrobe. heck, even an all-expenses-paid vacation! he wants to keep them close to him; he's afraid of them upping him to leave.

— XAVIER

goo yeonjun from a time called you - like yeonjun, xavier has literally went back in time to save his beloved. he wants to see then safe and sound, and as long as they're happy, he's happy. as long as they're alive and breathing, he's fine with not being by their side. just watching them live their life is enough for him.

haru from extraordinary you - totally not projecting my all-time fav kdrama on him (or am i?) but xavier and haru have similar mannerisms and personality traits. yk how in the first few episodes danoh was dragging haru around and this guy just remained silent and followed along until one day he just started speaking? yeah that's the same with this guy. the person he likes could yap all day and he would willingly sit and listen.

moon seoha from see you in my 19th life - similar to seoha, xavier loves once in his life and he will only ever love his little star. he would never get over their death and if he's the one responsible for their death, he would be all the more upset with himself. he would throw himself into work all day and refuse to love again, thinking he shouldn't be able to fall in love ever again since he took his beloved's one chance of staying alive and happy away.

— ZAYNE

moon suho from black knight - they're both so overprotective of the one they love. the way suho essentially told sharon that haera is the only woman he would ever love is something i can picture zayne doing. if someone is out there trying to harm his beloved, you'd best believe zayne would do his best to prevent that from happening, even if it means giving up his own life.

lee suhyeok from bora! deborah - when zayne loves, he loves hard. like suhyeok, he's clumsy at expressing his affections, choosing to keep everything to himself and wait until he's 100% certain it's the right time to say whatever he wants to say. and sometimes, that can lead to disastrous endings (see also: suhyeok getting dumped on the same day he went to buy an engagement ring for his girlfriend). both men are careful to a fault, all the more so with their beloved because they're scared of losing someone precious to them again.

yoo jihyuk from marry my husband - zayne, like jihyuk, would willingly stand aside and watch the one he loves fall in love with someone else. he would be supportive and wouldn't try to fight for their affection. his motto is "if they're happy, i'm happy" and he can live being an unmarried old man as long as he sees them happy.

© CALQLATE. all rights reserved. please do not copy, modify, repost, or translate my works on any platform.

[nobodysdaydreams]

Been thinking about Galinda and Elphaba’s choices at the end of “Defying Gravity” and how different things might have been, and it makes me so sad because at the end of the day, while it was Elphaba who did the right thing, Galinda’s decision has less to do with her being cowardly or evil, and more to do with her going with what she knows to be a safe/effective strategy.

Galinda doesn’t insult or downplay Elphaba’s concern for the animals. She yells at Elphaba for defying the Wizard because doing so “hurts her cause forever”. Galinda’s whole thing is popularity, playing the system, playing the social game. That’s what she does, that’s the world she knows, that’s what she’s comfortable with. She knows that Elphaba leaving will only lead to her being vilified, even if Elphaba is 100% right. Yes, Galinda loves her popularity and has ambition, but she does it with intention and purpose. Whereas Elphaba, who has never been popular and has no chance of eclipsing the Wizard in that domain (but totally can and already has in terms of her power) is way more comfortable calling him out right here and now. Galinda’s comments about Elphaba’s delusions of grandeur and her not knowing what she’s doing with the book also hold some truth to them as seen in Act 2 when Elphaba’s attempts to fix things with the book have unintended consequences, yet work. There’s some truth to both their perspectives and no perfect and effective and 100% moral solution to this problem. These are two college girls trying their best with the cards they’ve been dealt, and it is not either of their faults what happens: it’s the Wizard’s and Morrible’s. Galinda is not the villain of the story, they are.

Galinda makes mistakes, she does selfish things, for sure, but she’s certainly not evil. I point this out in my analysis of “No One Mourns the Wicked” but the Wicked story, while it is about Galinda and Elphaba and features them as the main characters, isn’t a story of Galinda vs. Elphaba. As Galinda says, despite their different choices, they were friends, and they cared for each other. Wicked is the story of Elphaba vs. the Wizard, as told by Galinda, who was friends with Elphaba and worked for the Wizard. The villagers in the song characterize Galinda goodness itself and sing that “goodness knows what goodness is, goodness knows the wicked die alone” and in the end, Galinda is the only one that does know the truth about the Wizard being the truly Wicked one and Elphaba being wonderful. Galinda also knows in the end, she’s ruling Oz and carrying out Elphaba’s mission to make Oz better for everyone, including the Animals, which is what she believes Elphaba died for. Meanwhile, Galinda knows the Wizard, who was truly Wicked, died/left Oz grieving what he’d lost/what he’s done.

That’s why I have a hard time blaming Galinda or calling her the villain for her choices during “Defying Gravity”. Even though there is tragedy in both Galinda and Elphaba’s endings, their respective strategies pay off for both of them. Elphaba’s stance against the Wizard leads to him being exposed by Dorothy as a fraud and allows Elphaba to help the animals. Whereas Galinda becomes so popular and loved by the people, that they totally accept the Wizard leaving because they have her now, and Galinda is able to take power from Morrible and send her to prison, no questions asked. Now she’s ruling all of Oz and can actually make things better for the Animals. She had to make moral concessions to get there that Elphaba wasn’t willing to, and yes, that was wrong, I’m not saying it isn’t, but Galinda didn’t just do it because she was 100% selfish, she genuinely believed this was the best choice and winning strategy, and given her background, why wouldn’t she? Galinda’s popularity is what has gotten her this far in life despite her lack of ability, and Elphaba was asking her to give all of that up, every bit of power, influence, and protection she had, to become a scorned criminal, and anything Galinda tried to do to bring about positive change would be twisted and manipulated by the Wizard and Morrible. Whereas Galinda was asking Elphaba to let a man who is abusing the Animals (who for many years, were the only friends Elphaba had) use her power for his own evil designs in order to slowly gain more power and influence and make gradual changes and concessions for the sake of the Animals all while there are huge injustices being committed right now that she’d be doing little or nothing to stop.

Given these situations, of course Galinda and Elphaba made the decisions they did at the end of part 1, of course they still hope things work out for one another, of course Galinda smiles to herself with pride when she sees Elphaba flying away (I loved that detail, she so happy to see her get away, it’s so sweet). Neither of them are in a fair position at all, and you can argue that Galinda should have been more willing to take a risk and had a moral obligation to do so, but the fact that she didn’t wasn’t 100% self-motivated and if anyone is to be blamed it’s the grown Animal abusing deadbeat father and professional conman who put her in that position, not the college girl who just wants to support her bestie without losing the only card she had to play.

The unfortunate byproduct of this (and I talk about this in other posts about how powerful Elphaba and Galinda could have been together), is that we will never know if things could have been better if Galinda had gone with Elphaba or if Elphaba had decided to stay. Galinda’s popularity might have been enough to make the students at Shiz, her parents, and her friends question the Wizard’s vilification of her or at least frame her as an impressionable and confused young girl, but would it have been enough for her, a college student, to totally expose the Wizard’s plot and rally all of Oz to her and Elphaba’s side? And had Elphaba chosen to stay, could she have found a way, after the Wizard makes the people see her as “wonderful” to use her magic she still barely understands to secretly protect her Animal friends until she finds a way to stop/expose the Wizard and Morrible? Both sound unlikely, but at the end of the day, we don’t know. You can argue that Elphaba’s choice was more morally correct and Galinda’s was more strategic and effective long term, but we’ll never know what might have been. Though goodness knows, the two of them will probably wonder for the rest of their lives.

[ereawrites]

Hey gurl✨ I’m in my wife era rn so maybe some Shisui and/or Tobirama husband/jealous husband hcs?🫣 I loooovee your writing and tbh your thoughts are my thoughts so no pressure😩 If you not feeling it feel free to ignore me babe🧚🏻‍♀️

YOU HAVE FED ME SO GOOD MISS GIRL! under the cut for length

shisui

this isn't too relevant but I have to include it. it's too cute. I definitely see shisui getting married pretty young, like early 20s. if he finds his person he's going for it. probably gets a lot of shit for it from his family, but he doesn't care

loooong honeymoon period. in part because they're still a young couple but also... shisui is just a really devoted husband. he loves the married life. insists on kissing her goodbye every morning, eating together every night, stuff like that

LOVES DECORATING THEIR HOUSE are u kidding me. let's say they get a kinda shitty place right after they get married, and put a tonne of work into doing it up. he gets so into painting, building the furniture, even starts up a little herb garden in their kitchen

finds so many ways to drop his wife into conversation lol. he's down bad even after the honeymoon period ends, so he wants to show her off. his FAV is when she swings by his workplace to bring him his 'forgotten' lunch. he turns around to the rest of the guys like. yeah. that's my WIFE. isn't she hot.

very much a believer in keeping the romance alive. he wants to keep making the effort with her until the day he dies. veryyyy good at remembering anniversaries, scheduling regular date nights, etc. always makes sure she has fresh flowers in the house

obviously it isn't all perfect though. especially while they're young (and presumably both still active, high-ranking shinobi) their schedules keep them apart a lot. and this hits shisui really hard tbh. he hates coming back to an empty home after a long mission, knowing he might not even see his wife before he has to leave again

work is probably where most of their arguments stem from, actually. I don't see it being a regular thing, but it's easy for resentment to build in those kinds of situations. shisui is very torn between his love for his village, and his love for his wife, and the fact he can't prioritise both. thankfully shisui is a good communicator so they make things work.

in terms of jealousy... I don't see it being a common thing. maybe before they get married he tends towards it a bit more, but once she's his wife, why would he worry? she's his entire world and he knows she loves him just as much

the only way I rly see him getting jealous at all is if they're going through a bit of a rough patch for the reasons mentioned above. maybe they haven't seen each other in weeks, and they both get back from a mission on the same day. and there's some kind of event/function that evening that they have to attend

so they barely have a chance to acknowledge each other, before they're pulled apart again by the crowd. so if shisui sees some random guy getting a little too close and flirty with her, he gets more annoyed than he'd like to admit

even then though.. he's not necessarily jealous as much as he is upset. like goddamn just let this poor man have his beloved wife to himself for a night. in this situation he's more likely to behave more rashly than usual, and he might just make some excuses and take her home lol. he gets a little bit pouty until she gives him some attention

overall, though, he's very chill. he trusts her implicitly, and expects the same from her. they need to have a very honest, respectful relationship if he's going to wife her up

god okay and in old age they're so cute together. I bet they have a bunch of kids (probably accidentally tbh lol) so then they end up with a whole squadron of grandchildren. he's that fun grandpa who sneaks them sweets when the parents aren't looking. all the grandbabies want to sleep over at their house. and they LOVE it.

to sum up: very good husband. very relaxed, communicates well, makes her feel loved every day. why did he have to die I want to throw myself off a bridge.

tobirama

first of all. good job to this woman. wrangling tobirama into marriage is not an easy job. he's so fucking ANNOYING. it probably takes him years to confess he even has feelings for her, let alone ask for her hand in marriage

but once he gets there. it's pretty cute. he doesn't really act very differently for the most part - he'd already decided his heart belonged to her well before they married, and wholly committed. so his behaviour doesn't change much, and there isn't much of a honeymoon period. sorry. he's like marriage is just a contractual agreement why would it change anything between us

he does make a few little indulgences though. he gets this smug little look every time he introduces her as his wife. he's actually just a lot more prone to 'showing her off' in general, and more likely to show some physical affection in public. for tobirama that's maybe a peck on the cheek lol. but it's progress

he's definitely a lot.... gentler?idk. with her once they're married as well. he makes an effort to be more patient and less snippy, and shows his appreciation for her in a lot of quiet little ways. for example, he'll be sure to leave work on time no matter how busy it is if he knows she's putting a lot of effort into dinner that night. or if she spends a second too long looking at a new dress in the store, he's buying it for her

on that note. tobirama is such a provider once they're married. he does have that traditional idea of providing for his wife. he'll probably ask her if she wants to become a stay at home wife tbh. if she says yes, he still expects her to get out in the community of course. he'd love if she did volunteering work, maybe at the hospital or with kids or something. but he's also equally happy for her to keep working. power couple vibes very strong

they have a nice, quiet little house away from the village where no one bothers then and they loooove it. especially tobirama, his wife and their home are his sanctuary. everyone else gtfo

other than that, not much is really different from before their marriage. they probably actually lead quite independent lives, to the point where people don't even know they're married until tobirama drops it into conversation a few months later. they're very private and lowkey.

unfortunately for her, tobirama's paranoia also persists. he's a bit delulu sometimes lol and she knows this going in. but it does inevitably cause some issues, especially if she's headstrong (which is definitely the type of woman he ends up with)

he trusts his wife more than anything. he would never doubt her for a second. but other men? the enemy. not to be trusted. they're all dogs. it drives him absolutely batshit crazy to watch them ogling her, or god forbid trying to flirt with her. which is actually kinda common bc they're such a lowkey couple, so people assume she's single

tobirama isn't one to make a scene per se, but this definitely leads to a few awkward situations in public, and she probably ends up embarrassed a few times. and there's 10000% arguments behind closed doors. I don't see either of them being good with this lol. he acts like she's his political enemy he's ridiculous

but because he loves her so much, and he actually really wants to put work into the longevity of their marriage, he'll come around. he's a lot softer and more willing to compromise when it comes to her. but she can't point that out because he's mortified

over time, he chills out a lot more. they're one of those couples that just get stronger and better with time. they grow a lot together, and although they probably continue to disagree a lot throughout their marriage, it's always in a way that leaves their relationship stronger. and he only gets softer for her. people (hashirama) even start to point out how devoted he is and he can't even deny it. cute

overall a kind of difficult husband, because he is an exceptionally difficult man, but my god he loves her so much. he would do anything to make her happy.

[etherfabric]

How the Universe provides for you + Songs

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.

Pile 1

Strength, 3 of Pentacles

You have loyal allies in your challenges. A lot of unforeseen inconveniences you can't seem to avoid are in your energy, but this time, you feel the support - be it physical incarnations of kindred spirits, or those from the other realm connected to you. Yes, your heart is pounding and your knees are shaking, and these instances definitely aren't what you would've put on your wish list in a million years - but you surprise yourself with your bravery amidst it all. You thrive in collaboration with likeminded people, even in the face of your antagonists. The Universe is sending you storms so you can see how well you build your structure, and feel like the badass boundary expert your past self dreamed they could be.

This was a test, and you passed with flying colors. All your hard inner work is tangibly paying off, and you feel elated and proud - rightfully so.

Pile 2

Queen of Pentacles, The Fool

You finally stopped caring so much. You figured out where (or with whom) you lose the energy you so desperately missed all this time, and despite the struggles of letting go, you are now light as a feather. But in contrast to the past, where you were simply too scared to attach fully, so what else is there to do but float... you can now fall back on and draw from the deep roots you grew in fertile ground. Nourishment tailored to your needs is in constant supply, and plenty of opportunities to extend that generosity onto are emerging on the horizon. But this time, you know what to look for to have it reciprocated.

There might be people you still deem generally lovable you had to leave behind, and trust that hearing their criticism or seeing the effect of your absence on them will never truly stop hurting - but you know your worth and needs better than ever, and are determined to ultimately look ahead to the promising future. The Universe provides for all, and not just through you.

Pile 3

7 of Wands, 7 of Pentacles

The Universe is fueling your fierce protector side. You respect your own time more than ever, and see the value of patience with yourself. Your vulnerability is no longer a source of shame, it has become your most precious inspiration. Outside disturbances can't faze you out of your serenity with your true self. You worked hard for where you are, and you are not letting anyone counterproductive get close to it. Take the various toxic coping mechanisms projected onto you as the compliments that they are - you trusted in your balance, followed what felt right, and are reaping the rewards, while others still cling to the very same mindset that starts itching once you are around.

You understand the delicate relationship between healthy aggression and egotistical overkill, and are a role model for those wanting to follow you. The blessings you have already received are shining brighter than ever, and it's only the beginning. Isn't it so worth it being seen as the bad guy? Your people love you for what you are doing for them. No one can take this away from you, because you know how to keep it - becoming more authentic every chance you get.

Pile 4

2 of Swords, The Hermit

I can imagine you clicking on this particular reading with a kind of scoff. "Oh yeah? Providing for me? I see fuck all." Dare I recommend to expand your understanding in which ways one can receive...? I see you clinging onto promises you kind of already know aren't very, well, promising. But for some reason you only want it that way, almost to try to prove a point no one even challenged you on. Your idea of what you need and what you want have no space for differences inbetween. This might not sound pretty or comforting - I feel awfully confrontational saying this to you actually, and my Cancer Mars is shaking like a leaf - but I see the Universe providing you with an ultimatum.

Drop the rope if you truly want happiness (and not just validation for how great all of your ideas are), or be stuck in the frustration eating away at you. Look at what you already have. Yes, it's not the ultimate dream, but you have to first step inside of you to be able to receive. Because inside of you is where you will feel the love that's on its way to you - not craning your neck out as far as you can, desperate for a crumb to roll by.

[iamthatonefangirl]

harvey specter headcanons pt. 3

i'm running out of ideas maybe it's time for me to write an actual fic. i love hiding behind my little one-liners or individual paragraphs i'm too insecure to post real fics. it's okay tho i am loving getting back into writing

part one

part two

~~~

harvey specter, who is subconsciously obsessed with always resting his hand on your back. who does it without even noticing he’s doing it—whether you’re taking a stroll, or he’s holding a door open and ushering you in, or sitting in his lap having sex—he’s always got his hand on the small of your back. 

harvey specter, who never misses an opportunity when he sees it. if you’re bending over or preoccupied with a task, he’s always going to take the chance to smack your ass.

harvey specter, who sees red when he sees you shaking hands with travis tanner in the lobby. who keeps his cool as he walks up to you, wrapping his arm around your waist and questioning tanner, what are you doing here? 

harvey specter, who finally gets the chance to see you in action at work. when confronted by another employee, you stand your ground and don’t take any shit from him. who has never been more proud or turned on by it. 

harvey specter, who joins you in the shower to wash your hair for you after a long day at work, or (and) after an intense gym session. who you return the favor to by massaging his back after his own exhausting days or workouts. 

harvey specter, who finally opens up to you about his issues with his mother. who pulls you closer when you tell him that you agree with him on the matter, that he did the best he could with the cards he was dealt. who sheds a few tears when you tell him it’s not your fault, baby. 

harvey specter, who will forever wish you would have been able to meet his father. who is glad that you get to have the relationship with your mother that he never had with his own. who hopes your father isn’t completely appalled that his daughter’s boyfriend is closer to his age than yours. 

harvey specter, who finally agrees to a vacation. who takes you to all the places you’ve always wanted to travel to but never had the opportunity to go. who lets you pick all the destinations and outings you’ll have, while he makes sure the first class seats and five-star hotels and high-end restaurant dinners are booked far in advance. who would only ever let you travel with such luxury. 

harvey specter, who supports all of your dreams. who knows that not now, but in the next few years, you may be looking for a career change. who is ready to sacrifice whatever is necessary to support you through the schooling you may have to go through to make such a change. 

harvey specter, who knows that you’re not ready to get married. who knows that you’re far too young to get married. but who knows that he’s not getting any younger, and doesn’t know how to respect your youth while planning for his future. who worries that while you might be his happy ending, to you, he might be a stepping stone to where you’ll be in ten years. who thinks that you might pass him by, and who knows he has no choice but to support you if life takes you away from him. who knows he’ll never move on, even if you do. 

harvey specter, who knows that you both work too much. who knows that you spend all your free time and weekends together. between his love of his work, his friendships with his colleagues, and his relationship with you, he is satisfied. but he knows you are far more social than he is, and he will encourage you to go to spa nights and girls trips with friends. who is proud that you have a life that you love, and he will always be there to supplement whatever you need to keep it that way. 

nsfw ones:

harvey specter, who would put your pleasure above his every time. who is happy to service you. who can’t get off until he knows he’s pleased you to your satisfaction. 

harvey specter, who knows that you’re more game to try things out than his other partners. call it a benefit of your youth, if he might. 

harvey specter, who takes off his button-down shirt and dresses you in it. who binds your wrists together with his necktie and teases you for what feels like forever, before fitting his index and middle fingers into your mouth. who finally slips those two fingers into your underwear and ever so faintly begins to touch, whispering into your ear: does that feel good? hmm? just relax… i’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.

[can-i-see-your-passport-please]

Okay so here's everything I know about TF2. Please no one elaborate on anything I know about, because I think it's so much funnier if I have no context to anything. I have absorbed all of this through Tumblr osmosis

Emesis Blue is an excellent film

Soldier apparently was never an actual soldier, he just loves America and really wanted to kill Nazis (the second one i respect greatly)

Medic would probably give you a lobotomy for fun (i don't think this guy's even a doctor)

Two really old guys are fighting bloody wars over gravel I think and their father is named Grey Mann which was most definitely meant to make Gman enjoyers lose it but to be fair his name could also be Gary Man.

What am I on

Heavy and Medic are apparently gay but idk if this is a fandom seeing two men next to each other and going "gay" thing or a "all but confirmed gay" thing but TVTropes referred to them as "Heterosexual Life Partners" which is very funny

emesis blue is so fucking good oh my godddddd the respawn machine is horrifying just from the concept it turned scout into soup

Scout is half French and loves his mother (who is not french) and does not love his father (spy i think)

Medic presumably died went to hell and told the devil "oh I'm like a cat I have nine souls actually. So I should get to go back to being alive" and it fucking worked??????

THE FUCKING SCENE IN?? IN EMESIS BLUE??? WHERE. WHERE SOLDIER TELLS MEDIC "YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT OUT" AND MEDIC SAYS "i KNOW" BEFORE HE JUST FUCKING DIES AND HE'S THE PROTAGONIST SO YOU'D EXPECT HIM TO LIVE RIGHT??? AND THEN HE JUST DIES AND DOESN'T APPEAR AGAIN FOR SO SO LONG

Pyro is an any pronouns warrior and it commits great atrocities while also having so much sillyness in his heart. I love her

I think Engineer blowed up his arm. I think

Spy is a cunt and also French. I do not think this I know this. I look at him and I sense his cuntery. It radiates off him. I can feel it.

SOMETHING ABOUT THE LETTER M BEING BRANDED ONTO MEDIC'S FACE BEING A REFERENCE TO THE MOVIE SCOUT WAS WATCHING WHERE THE LETTER M IS USED TO MARK A MURDERER. HE'S LITERALLY MARKED AS A MURDERER BY PYRO. SOMETHING ABOUT THE SCENE WITH DEMOMAN AND DELL'S BAR BEING A REFERENCE TO A SCENE IN THE SHINING WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER IS LITERALLY TALKING TO A GHOST. SOMETHING ABOUT SCOUT'S MOTHER'S HEAD BEING HELD AROUND A CORNER AND DROPPED PARALLELING PYRO'S HEAD BEING HELD AROUND A CORNER AND DROPPED. SOMETHING ABOUT SCOUT'S "IF THEY EVER HIT YOU WITH SOMETHING, YOU HIT BACK TWICE AS HARD" WITH MEDIC SHOOTING SPY TWICE IN THE HEAD AFTER BEING SHOT ONCE IN THE GAME OF RUSSIAN ROULETTE WHY IS EMESIS BLUE SO GOOD

TF2 is in an eternal war with Overwatch for some reason

I was doing a poll a few days ago and the tags psychic blasted me with the information of "by the way people pay like fifty dollars to see medic's tiddies in game." I have gotten varying answers between ninety dollars to three hundred fucking dollars but the constant remains that people will pay Valve comically high amounts of money to see Medic's boobs. What

Scout almost got Earth exploded because he died a virgin???? But then God was like "Okay go back down to earth I'm giving them one last chance to all have sex with you" I'm so confused what does any of this mean none of this makes any sense but it's hilarious

Scout might be legitimately named after Jerma and bears a frightening resemblance to him (though to be fair scout is every white boy in one)

You should watch Emesis Blue it's free on youtube

Demoman's eye is sentient even though he doesn't have it????

I can't decide who's my favorite the white boy the unethical scientist or the silly nonbiney war criminal

Conclusion: What the fuck is team fortress the second one about

[fayfaygoes]

"Omg I can't wait for Caleb , can't wait for Childhood friend to lover troupe"

I can't stress this enough.

Guys

GUYS

Caleb is not Just a "childhood friend" troupe HE IS GEGE .

It might sounds off putting but many part of Asia we refer to acquaintance or neighbors child slight older than us "Brother"/"Sister" ,call their parents uncle and Auntie's . And it will stay that way maybe later in Life.

But that doesn't mean they are off the partner list when you grow older .

Alot of my girls I know dating guys they used to call "Vaiya" / "Dada" which means Brother ,they still slip that off sometimes.

We all know the Korean word Oppa , it's used AGEYO too . It's so much used in koreaboo section that some people finds the word outright intolerable and Cringe .

But Oppa literally means Older brother and used to refer guys/classmates Older . Yeah you can call your Boyfriend Oppa it's not abnormal regardless of how you feel about it .

Another point-

You know how You set your nickname in game like honey girlfriend etc.

Well there's one nickname you can set in English.

It's "Darling"

But yk what I noticed all the time when I write that name down and have JP voiceover on.

They don't go "Da~rin~" like how you your expect darling to sound in JP accent.

Yk what they say

"NEe - SAN"

and you know what that translates too?

OLDER SISTER .

So yeah you are making them Call you NEE SAN .

But obviously English can't localize it literally so they are writing "Darling" ( I don't have knowledge about the CN part please lmk if yk)

So yeah it may sound Icky to you but there's chances are I would end up with a guy in my work area that I perhaps called Big brother in my language in past ,and there isn't something weird about it. And it shouldn't be made into weird stuff either . It comes quite naturally ,it's not Sweet home albama it's cultural difference.

I am referred to as an older sister by many young men out of respect but it stops there . My real siblings are the ones by blood .

And for Caleb you guys have to accept that and if you do ,Stop hating on him purely for this fact .

En localization team likely knew this is hard to accept and out of comfort zone

that's why they changed to "he is childhood friend" but in voiceover she calls him Gege

GEGE

Voiceover doesn't change that ,and they don't have to because it's understandable when u are used to that happening .

Despite all those connections and links. The Dr. Zayne meeting the MC in childhood and that plays a role .

He FALLS in childhood friend to lover troupe in the literal sense .Not Caleb ,he has a different connection to her in dynamic,that involves treating each other in sibling ways .

Not everyone you call "older brother" / "older sister" you end up pinning for ,that's not what happens. But if you do as two consenting adults there's Nothing wrong WITH it .

So If it was a normal character MC was acquainted with ,then how you view her calling him Gege is Up to your interpretation,it can be anything.

But since it's an OTOME and he is most definitely gonna come back .

So yeah this time You are romancing that GEGE FOR SURREEEE

You guys aren't staying behind that title where you both will continue maintaining safe distance and took them out of the chart as if they are off limit. You are FCKING.

You can accept that , it's one of those cultural compromises

You can enjoy the En localized part if you want but actual intended interpretation should NOT make you retaliate and be defensive stating how Caleb is not that he is childhood friend troupe yada yada yada.

I saw some say Caleb is the actual Childhood friend to lovers troupe because zayne doesn't do the troupe correctly 😶

Each of the lads LIs have Uniqueness in more than one area to the point they don't stand in the same category . Zayne & Caleb is not the same category LIs either and it's not purely for sole fact "oh Caleb is different than zayne, different personalities etc" there is more difference ,troupe has DIFFERENT TITLES.

She has known him as Gege for so long y'all aren't ready for the angst of possible romance coming in between ,the self guilt ,the self restriction ... EVERYTHING.

[elvenbeard]

Old and Happy

😭 my feels have been all over the place since I finally finished this! Don't even remember when I started, as I kept working on and off on it over a couple of months. But I think it was after writing something particularly angsty and going "you know what, they will get their happy ending though, so it's all good".

Some details and thoughts below the read more cause it got long hhhh ;A;

This is in about 2087 maybe, roughly "ten years later". Vince changed his hair, ditched the rattail for good (or again xD) for something still colorful but a bit more easy to style. But he might change it up again, he's done so repeatedly and still likes to experiment with his hair.

Not visible, he probably would've added some elements to his back tattoo after surviving all of 2077. Johnny's tattoo he covered up as well, he would've done that first probably before the back piece. Adding some things here and there over time, with colors and patterns and wings, some cherry blossoms ('cause a thing of beauty will never truly fade away - hence just not getting laser removal but covering it with something that suits him more, but keeping some elements like the J and V visible). It started with three roses below the "V" as a little homage to Jackie, and 2077 as the year that finally put him on the right track in his life, even if it almost killed him in the process.

Overall he is a healthier weight than he was for most of his life, and finally got some therapy he desperately needed to deal with all the crap he went through pre-2077 already. He's not dyeing his first grey hairs because hell, that he's even still around to get some is amazing with his line of work and life story. And he realized that there's no need to be super well put togeher 24/7, clean shaven and whatnot, when you know you're just gonna be hanging out with your man and cat all weekend (and actually allowing yourself to something like that - leisure time and pizza in bed, unheard of to 2077!Vince). He's doing good and feels good and comfortable, physically and mentally.

Kerry also changed, also embracing the dad bod over abs, probably still experimenting with his looks a lot now and then whenever the label feels like they need to draw attention to him for whatever reason. But to the brown eyes he returned in 2078 already in my headcanon for the Sun ending timeline, and he stuck with them.

Overall I think he might finally care a little less about other people's opinions too, the buzz and the drama, cause he knows that at the end of the day there's always gonna be someone waiting for him at home who loves him unconditionally. He's a bit calmer and at ease, but of course still up to no good whenever he gets the chance to stir shit up xD Vince and him remain to be a dangerous duo you don't wanna mess with. At that point Vince is a well-respected, even if somewhat elusive, fixer, so he's probably even more dangerous now than he used to be as a mere merc with an arsenal of connections and resources at his disposal that can almost rival Kerry's.

I also gave Kerry a lil new cyberware piece on his hand - he is an old man and I think, using his hands as a musician on the daily, at some point there's just gonna be some wear and tear to your bones and joints only tech can fix anymore... Especially if you're stubborn and refuse to retire cause no, you're not done yet, you still have so much to yell into the world and music to make, stuff to add to your legacy and all.

Last but not least: Nibbles is an old lady already as well here, but living her best life with her dads spoiling her rotten, of course!

And then öalkshjdfagsdföasgdfaösfh ;___;

Y'know, "to bad decisions" and all, and two very different pieces still fitting together perfectly somehow, and light and shadows, and the sun and moon and yeah. ;___; Brb crying, the feels are back xD

Thanks so much for reading if you made it this far!! They mean so much to me and aösdjhfajsfhasfk could go on forever about every little detail xD On to the next drawing!