#my life turned upside down in a moment and I’m finally in the pained headspace to write again

[themageofmany]

I promise to write tonight, I swear

[anotherkpopvictim]

Broken But Healing - Hoseok X BTS Littlespace Drabble

“Imogen asked: I’d love little Hobi being really unwell (maybe even a hospital trip) and just being taken care of by the rest of the members.”

A/N: First of all, thank you so much for requesting! I changed it slightly to an injury sending Hobi to the hospital instead of an illness or something. I hope I did your request justice.

Second, I am so sorry for posting this literally months after you requested it. Sometimes life just doesn’t bring me the will or inspiration to write, but I finally got it finished in a way that I liked.

Relationship: Little!Hoseok X Caregivers!BTS

Rating: G

Words: 2114

Hurt/comfort, fluff

DISCLAIMER: I don’t know shit about medical stuff so I’m sorry if it’s inaccurate but I tried my best.

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Hoseok knew that going into a career that involved dancing meant having sore feet all the time and countless other injuries. It was unavoidable. He’d been lucky enough in his thirteen years of dancing not to have done anything severe. He’d never even broken a bone before.

However, there was a first time for everything.

All the BTS members and staff were gathered together in the rented performance hall, polishing everything up for the online concert they were going to be having in just a few weeks’ time.

Hoseok made a simple misstep while going through the choreography and his foot missed the stage, instead plunging him off of the rather high platform they were on.

As the lead dancer felt the breath knock out of him and an excruciating pain running up his left leg, he could hear the distant-sounding calls of his bandmates.

“Hoseok-ah!”

“Hyung!”

Namjoon was the first one to reach him, followed quickly by the other members and some of their staff. The leader had wide, concerned eyes as he kneeled next to Hoseok’s collapsed form. “Hobi-hyung, can you hear me?”

There were a few startled gasps and a couple swear words from the others, but Hoseok could barely focus on anything other than Namjoon’s face, the floaty feeling in his head, and the sudden numbness in his whole body.

“Hobi-hyung,” Namjoon repeated, trying his best to keep his voice calm.

Hoseok swallowed, “J-Joonie?” his tone was soft and airy, instantly giving away his little headspace. “H-Hobi f-fell.”

Namjoon, who immediately crowded in closer when he realized the other was in littlespace, took his hand and smiled sadly. “I know you did, baby. It was a pretty bad fall.”

Seokjin came into his view, immediately taking up Hoseok’s other hand. “Can you tell hyungs how you’re feeling, sweetheart?”

“I-It hurt before, but the pain went away now,” Hoseok replied softly.

Seokjin and Namjoon shared a concerned look between them at that.

Before anything else could be said, Jimin appeared at Hoseok’s head, upside down in his vision. “Baby, it looks like you’re gonna get to ride in an ambulance today, isn’t that cool?”

“Am-bu-ance,” Hoseok sounded out, eyes widening. “B-But the pain is gone. Hobi doesn’t need help.”

“Your leg is hurt, honey,” Seokjin said, kissing the little’s knuckles in comfort. “A doctor needs to look at it.”

Hoseok whined, looking between his three bandmates. “H-Hurt? I-Is it bad?”

There was a silence before Jimin smiled at him, though even upside down it looked more like a wince. “It’s pretty bad, baby.”

Almost instinctively, Hoseok lifted his head to glance down at his legs but was stopped by his three boyfriends pushing him back and shaking their heads frantically at him.

“No, don’t get up, sweetheart,” Seokjin said, a strained smile on his lips. “Don’t look at it.”

“Just look at us,” Jimin added, running his fingers through Hoseok’s disheveled dark locks.

Hoseok was so distracted and out of it that he barely noticed when the paramedics arrived, nor when they stabilized his leg. He frowned when he was lifted onto a gurney and the world began flying by. He immediately missed the warmth of Seokjin, Namjoon, and Jimin’s hands on him.

Yoongi came into his view before he could whine in displeasure, running a hand through the younger’s hair before they lifted him into the ambulance. The eldest rapper hopped in after him and sat next to him as the vehicle started up.

“I’m right here, Hobi-ah. Hyung’s right here, love,” Yoongi assured him.

A few seconds went by (or a few minutes - Hoseok’s mind was getting too fuzzy to understand time properly) before the younger spoke up. “H-Hyungie, don’t feel good.”

“I know you don’t, bub,” Yoongi replied softly. “It’ll be okay, though. I promise.”

Hoseok didn’t get to hear anymore before he fell completely into unconsciousness, but the older man’s words made him feel more at ease.

------------------------------------------

“How is he?” Jungkook stood up abruptly in the private waiting room as Yoongi walked in. Jimin put a hand on his shoulder and gave a gentle tug so he would sit back down.

Yoongi sighed, “He passed out on the way here. The paramedics said it was from shock but his vital signs were normal, if a bit elevated but they said it was to be expected. They just took him into the operating room so I had to leave him.”

“Did they say anything about how badly his leg was broken?” Namjoon asked worriedly.

Yoongi shook his head and sunk into Taehyung’s lap, who wasted no time wrapping his arms around his hyung.

Being a dancer and just an active person in general, all of them were worried about how long this injury was going to affect their boyfriend and how he would get through it.

It felt like forever before the doctor finally came into the room, a small smile on his lips. “Jung Hoseok is doing alright,” he said before anything else. The man was on the shorter side and probably in his late forties, a pair of black-framed glasses sitting on his nose. Dr. Song was one of the doctors that frequently tended to the BTS members, so it was nice to see a familiar face.

All six of them were on their feet and anxiously awaiting what the doctor would say next.

The man took a deep breath and glanced down at his file. “Hoseok-ssi suffered an impacted fracture of his left fibula and caused some damage internally, but nothing major was disrupted. Thankfully, he only has two hairline fractures in his tibia that should heal within a few weeks.”

They all let out a simultaneous sigh of relief; at least Hoseok hadn’t broken both leg bones.

“And the operation went alright?” Seokjin asked.

Dr. Song nodded, “Smooth sailing. He’ll be in a cast for about eight or nine weeks. After that, with some physical therapy, he should be back to dancing by the beginning of next year.”

“That’s good to hear,” Jimin said with a smile. “Thank you so much for everything, Dr. Song.”

The man smiled back at him. “No need to thank me. I can take you to him now if you’d like, though he is still unconscious at the moment.”

The six of them eagerly followed the doctor through the maze of hallways until they reached a room marked with ‘Private Room #7’ written on it in clear, bold letters.

“He should be awake within the hour but he’ll probably be out of it for a good while after that. We’ve given him some medication for the pain and judging by the notes on his file that says he’s sensitive to drugs, he’ll most likely be a bit loopy.” Dr. Song explained as he led them into the private room.

The room itself was fairly large and had a sofa and a few chairs around for seating. Dr. Song moved to pull aside a curtain that revealed Hoseok laying on the hospital bed. He only had an IV in his hand and a heartrate monitor over his left pointer finger. They observed their boyfriend’s paler than normal complexion but peaceful face as he slept.

“I’ll come back in a little while with some prescriptions to help with his pain,” Dr. Song gave a quick smile and bow which the boys all returned before the man left the room.

As soon as the doctor had disappeared, all six pairs of eyes were back on their boyfriend’s unconscious form and a silence fell over the room for a few minutes.

“He’s not going to be happy when he wakes up to find himself in the hospital,” Yoongi commented.

Jimin hummed in agreement, “He hates hospitals.”

They all knew how much of an understatement that was. Hoseok had a huge phobia of hospitals. Thankfully, their private room was fairly comfortable and homey, only the IV and monitor giving an indicator it was a hospital room at all.

“Do you think he’ll be Little?” Seokjin asked.

“Hard to say for sure,” Namjoon replied. “Though I think he might slip pretty quickly even if he wakes up Big.”

Jungkook was the one that looked away from Hoseok long enough to realize that they were kind of just creepily standing around his bed, hovering over him. “I think we’ll scare him if he wakes up and sees us like this.”

They went about gathering some chairs and along with the couch in the room, there was enough seating for all of them.

Taehyung was leaning on his hand as he watched Hoseok once more. He pouted and sighed, “I feel bad for hyung. I hope his leg will heal alright.”

Yoongi reached over from his seat to ruffled Taehyung’s hair, a fond smile on his lips. “We’ll do everything we can to help him, and we can hope.”

----------------------------------------------

Hoseok blinked his eyes open, though they felt like they were weighed down by lead. He was met with the sight of a white ceiling and tan walls and unmistakable machinery beside him, and his six boyfriends scattered around the room.

Namjoon and Jimin were curled up together in a comfy chair on the right side of the bed Hoseok was on, fast asleep. Yoongi and Jin were slumped together on a couch a few feet away from the end of the bed, also fast asleep.

The only two who seemed to be awake were the maknaes. Taehyung and Jungkook were both seated on a chair together on Hoseok’s left, speaking softly with each other. When they caught sight of Hoseok’s open eyes they sat up straighter and looked at him with wide eyes.

“Hyung!” Jungkook blurted out.

Taehyung immediately shushed him, “Don’t wake the others.” Then he turned back to Hoseok with that gentle, boxy smile of his. “I’m so glad you’re awake, hyung. You really scared us earlier.”

Hoseok blinked at them, still trying to put the puzzle pieces of what had happened together. He was in a hospital - that much he had gathered - but the why was what he didn’t know.

Jungkook seemed to read his mind and said softly, “You had an accident during our concert rehearsal earlier.”

Oh, now he remembered.

Hoseok’s face paled and his eyes widened as his mind replayed the horrible experience. Tears welled up in his eyes before he could stop them, and he sniffled loudly. “H-Hobi gots hurt!” he managed out with a scratchy voice.

Jungkook instantly got up and hurried out of the room to get him a cup of water, while Taehyung’s face softened at Little Hobi. “You did, bub.” He replied, taking one of Hoseok’s hands into his own. “But you’re going to be just fine. Do you hurt at all right now, sweetheart?”

Hoseok shook his head and Taehyung smiled, relieved.

Jungkook returned with a large Styrofoam cup of iced water. He held it out and positioned the straw for Hoseok to take a sip. The cool water instantly helped the dryness in his throat.

“D-Does...” Little Hobi started, “Does Hobi have booboos?”

Taehyung and Jungkook shared a glance before Taehyung answered, “Yeah, baby. You broke your leg, but the doctor fixed it up in a cast so it can heal quickly.”

Hoseok let out a little whine as he looked at his legs, obscured from his view by a mountain of blankets (Seokjin’s doing probably). One leg was obviously larger than the other because of the cast, but at least he wasn’t in any pain.

“Hobi hyu- I mean, Hobi love,” Jungkook said, grabbing his attention once more. “I got some colorful markers from the nurses,” he held up a small bag of markers that Hoseok had missed, “I thought maybe we could draw pretty things all over your cast to help it get better. What do you think?”

Hoseok’s eyes widened and he smiled, tiredly but happily. “Yes, yes! Please Kookie. Please Taehyungie! Draw pretty pictures, please!”

The two maknaes chuckled fondly. Taehyung nodded, “Of course, love.”

Hoseok wasn’t so scared when Jungkook maneuvered the blankets off of his left leg and revealed the bulky cast covering most of his leg. It looked too plain, but Taehyung and Jungkook quickly worked to fix that by covering it in a variety of colors.

Hoseok giggled as the other two bickered about their drawings, feeling the last of the absolute fear he’d felt earlier leave him completely. He was still uncomfortable in the hospital, his fear ever lingering, and he was even more scared about his leg healing, but he knew he had his six boyfriends right by his side (quite literally, right now) who would help him through the tough weeks to come.

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A/N: Fun fact: I have never broken a bone before so I don’t know actually know what it feels like. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it!!

[myaekingheart]

68. Miles Away

How am I supposed to be Everything they expect me to be When I feel so alone, 'Cause I left my heart at home. She needs me, but I know they need me too. So God, give me the strength to do what you created me to do. -Miles Away, Memphis May Fire (feat. Kellin Quinn)

               No one said returning to work would be easy, and that had never felt truer for Rei. While she was certainly in a better headspace now to fulfill her duties, work had seemingly become far more exhausting than she remembered it to be. She came home every day completely drained and trapped in a worn-out haze. She unlocked her door and sunk back onto her bed with a sigh. She laid there until the ache in her bones subsided, staring at the ceiling fan blurring above her, before deciding to track down Kakashi. Once relaxed, her muscles began to ache for his touch. She yearned to curl up in his arms and snuggle against his chest, only to eventually doze off while he likely read a book. But that was the way she liked things: simple and pure. She didn’t need anything extravagant in order to be happy.

               She shuffled down the hall toward Kakashi’s apartment, about to knock when she noticed a note taped over the peephole. She snatched it away and unfolded it carefully, scanning the message, then crumpled it up in her fist and turned in the opposite direction. So much for that.

               Konoha had been so busy lately. As a result, being one of the best in the village, Kakashi had been tugged in ten different directions, running off on missions nearly non-stop. Rei wondered if Lady Tsunade fully understood the effect this would have on not only his morale but her own and, by extension, that of their relationship. It was so tiring going through this same charade over and over again. For a moment—just a split second—Rei almost regretted ever becoming a kunoichi solely for the sake of their schedules. If she had been a civilian, things would be so much easier. She would always be there to welcome him home. But was that really the life she wanted? She wasn’t fond of giving up her own agency for the sake of her relationship. Again, Grandma Teiko’s words echoed in her ears: she had come too far and worked far too hard to get to where she was now. If only it didn’t make things so much harder.

               By the time Kakashi returned from his mission, Rei had already set out on another of her own. Likewise, he was filled with the exact same defeat.

               Now that the truth of his romance had long since been publicized, Kakashi was unfortunately not immune to the judgments of others. For those that knew Rei and her line of work, it was easy for them to make snide remarks namely about their schedules. The most common running gag just so happened to be about Makeout Paradise. A snicker, a flick to the cover of his book, and the same question asked always: Something to fill the void, huh?

               He hated the assumptions they would make, almost moreso because they got him thinking. Initially, he was outrageously offended. How dare they think something so immature? What did they expect? That he would jack off to the sex scenes when Rei wasn’t there? That was not the case at all. He couldn’t fully grasp why it was so hard for others to understand that he simply enjoyed the story. They made base assumptions just because it was a romance. Unfortunately, however, the more this happened, the more Kakashi began to question whether they were at least partially correct in these accusations. After all, he started to notice that he did, in fact, envision Rei as the female protagonist and himself as her love interest. In a way, imagining the two of them together playing out the scenes made him feel a little less alone. It certainly didn’t live up to actually having her there with him, but was an ample substitute for when they were apart. And that was the whole root of the problem: he never would’ve had to do this in the first place if they weren’t always apart. It was merely the solution to a problem he wished had never existed to begin with.

               Two weeks had passed before they finally had a chance to see each other again. Rei could hardly control her breathing as she paced down the hallway, hesitating before knocking on his front door. She waited—one, two, three seconds—before she heard the lock click and Kakashi peeked outside. His heart immediately leapt into his throat—god, he missed her so much.

               “I heard you were back in town” she said quietly, brushing her bangs out of her face.

               Kakashi nodded. “I got back this morning” he replied. He ushered her inside, watching her every move as she shuffled in and then accepted his invitation to sit on the edge of the bed. “Is everything alright?” he asked.

               “Hmm? Yeah” Rei said, folding her hands in her lap. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Why? Is everything fine with you?”

               “Yeah” Kakashi replied, sitting beside her. An awkward silence enveloped them for a moment before he placed a gentle hand on her knee. She wrapped her arms around her waist and sucked in a deep breath. The threat of words unspoken hung overhead like a thick smoke.

               “That looks like a pretty nasty bruise. On your arm” Rei then said, breaking the silence. Her index finger hovered over the yellow splotch on his skin.

               “It’s nothing, really” he replied. “Just an occupational hazard.”

               “Yeah” she murmured, turning away from him again. Another long stretch of silence passed before Rei finally fessed up. She couldn’t hold her tongue any longer. “Kakashi, can we talk?”

               Kakashi raised a brow, looking at her. “About what?” he asked.

               “About…about us” Rei replied. Her voice trembled, and Kakashi’s heart rose up into his throat.

               “What about us?” he asked. His eyes glanced to his dresser, considering the ring tucked inside. Was she onto him? Did she know? He bet Guy spilled the beans. Guy was terrible at keeping secrets, and he was likely getting impatient. Every time he saw his rival, he’d always ask Did you ask her yet? This was taking far too long. Time was running out. If he didn’t do this soon, he was going to lose his mind. Kakashi cleared his throat and tried to maintain composure. All in due time. He just had to wait for the perfect moment.

               “I don’t know if this is doable anymore.”

               Bam. The words hit like a freight train. “W-wait, what?” Kakashi asked, his eyes going wide. He turned to her, desperate, pleading, terrified, but she did not look back at him.

               “Please, Kakashi…” she whispered. “I just…I’ve been thinking a lot about this and…and I’m scared. I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

               “Rei, please” Kakashi begged, “Is it something I’ve done? Whatever it is, I’ll fix it. We don’t have to do this. We can make this work. We’ll be okay.”

               Rei shook her head. “No, it just…I don’t think this line of work was meant for romances” she whispered. He could tell she was choking back tears herself, and it made him want to cry, too. This whole thing made him want to cry. “I just don’t think I can be in a relationship right now that…that’s so uncertain.”

               “What do you mean?” Kakashi asked. “I don’t have any questions about how I feel about you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I would hope the same goes for you, too.”

               “No, no, I know” she said, wincing. “It’s not that, it’s…our schedules never line up. Things have been hectic. I never see you anymore, and…I don’t think I can handle being in a relationship like this anymore…I-I just…I’m in a very delicate position right now, and I can’t afford to put any more work into things. I don’t…I don’t have the strength. I don’t have the energy. I think…I think we just need to take a break.”

               “Then let’s take a break” Kakashi said, voice hopeful, “Let’s just take a step back, we can go get some food, and everything will be fine.”

               Rei squeezed her eyes shut tight and bit her lower lip, shaking her head. “N-no, Kakashi…I just…I just need a break…from us.”

               “Rei, please” Kakashi begged. He cupped her cheek in his hand and gently turned her to face him, pressing his forehead against hers. She could feel his breath heavy and desperate against her skin. His eyes were unavoidable now. When she looked at them, all she saw was pain. “I can fix this. Whatever it is, we can make this work. I promise. Just please don’t leave me. I want you here. I need you here, just…stay. Please. I can’t let you go. I won’t. I know things are difficult right now, but that’s just more reason for us to stay like this. I can’t trust what you’ll do to yourself left alone. I can’t…I can’t afford to lose you. Rei, I love you…I love you so much.”

               By now, she couldn’t stop the tears from coming. She tried to keep herself as confident and composed as possible, but it was hard when she was swallowing back terrible wails. “K-Kakashi, no…I can’t…this is…this is too much. I…I need to learn how to live without you. Please…please don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.”

               “But what about our future? What about our life together?” he asked. “I thought…I mean, I wanted…”

               “I can’t think like that right now” she replied. “I can’t focus on anything that isn’t in front of me right now. I can’t…I can’t think about anything later than tomorrow. I just…I need to take one step at a time. I need to learn how to function again now that…” here, her voice trailed off but Kakashi knew exactly what she meant. Now that Naru is gone. Now that Sekkachi hates me. Now that my entire life has been flipped upside down. In his mind, that was only all the more reason for her to stay. She needed at least one constant in her life, so why couldn’t that be him?

               For a moment, he contemplated digging into that dresser and pulling out that ring, of getting down on one knee right now and asking her to be his wife. It would solve everything…wouldn’t it? But Rei was already breaking free of his grasp, wiping the tears from her cheeks, approaching the door. She rested her hand on the doorknob, ready to leave, before glancing back at Kakashi and forcing a sad smile. “I really do love you” she whimpered, “I just wish that was enough.”

               And just like that, she was gone.

               Kakashi sat there frozen for a moment, struggling to process everything that had just happened. He had fought so long to make sure she was safe, forcing himself to keep his distance. Now that she was exiting his life again, he felt as if someone had ripped out a vital part of himself. He pressed his hand to his chest and there was a hollow emptiness there beneath his palm. He gasped for breath, his lungs on fire, then buried his face in his hands and broke down.

               Outside his door, Rei paused a moment. The hallway swayed back and forth, the colors inching in and out of focus. God, what had she done? All those years of yearning, only to lead up to this? She was pathetic. She dug her nails into her palms and groaned, fighting every urge to barge back inside and rescind everything she had just said. Claim she changed her mind, that she wasn’t thinking clearly, that she loved him and that was all that mattered. But she couldn’t stand to do that to herself. She couldn’t stand the lonely nights wondering if she was going to lose him, too. The uncertainty and fear and heartbreak of knocking on his door only to receive no answer, or find a note addressing his absence. She tried to remind herself that he didn’t belong to her, anyways—he belonged to the village—in hopes that it would make her feel better about this, but it never did. He was never really hers, nor was he ever meant to be. She needed to shove him out of her life before death ripped him out by force. Sucking in a deep breath, she put on a brave face and stepped out into the sunlight.

               Kakashi turned that stupid little ring over in his hands, inspecting it and memorizing every little detail. He had no use for it now, did he? For a moment, he considered hurling it out the window just so he could get it off of his mind, but he knew he wasn’t strong enough to let it go. Deep down, a part of him still held out hope. This wasn’t the end. It couldn’t possibly be. He wrapped his fist around the ring, letting it leave an imprint in his palm, and sucked in a sharp breath. And all the while, there was only one word constantly reverberating against the inside of his brain, repeating over and over and over again until he swore he was going to go mad.

               Rei.

[nusrattalks]

A few months ago, I found myself turning my bedroom upside down looking for jewelry my parents had given to me as my law school graduation gift. It was expensive and they bought it with so much love. A day of searching later, I gave up and messaged my sisters, half heartbroken and half scared of upsetting them. But my little sister Kuhu, ever the wise one, said to me: “Jui Apu, it’s just material things. Sure, there’s sentimental value attached to it but the sentiment isn’t tangible and that’s the only thing worth holding on to. Material things, they come and go.” I later found the jewelry but never forgot her words.

And today, when I opened my laptop at work and the screen wouldn’t come on, my sister’s words immediately started running through my head, in a loop. There was the initial bile rising up my throat, followed by hope that it’s a momentary glitch, before full blown panic caught up with me and I was unable to stop my mind from spinning.

What ensued was running around for hours in the sweltering Dhaka heat, from one place to another, looking for a reliable place that could magically fix my technological glitch for me, within minutes. However, life isn’t always so convenient.

Finally, I found a reliable store highly recommended by friends. I was practically begging the man to help me out in whatever way he can and he looked genuinely concerned for my mental well being. He was very nice and explained in detail what would happen. When he told me I’d be away from my laptop for approximately a month, I was fine. But then he said they take no liability for any data lost. And that’s when I couldn’t stop my tears. A full grown 27 year old woman crying in front of a stranger who must have concluded I was crazy before I explained myself.

“You see,” I said to him, “my Nanu passed away. And I have the most precious memories of my family and her in that laptop which I don’t have backed up.”

This nice man’s face immediately turned compassionate.

“I am so sorry to hear that, Ma’am. I promise I will do everything in my power to ensure no data is lost and if you wish, you can always retrieve your laptop before we touch it.”

I thanked him profusely and left and as soon as I was out of his sight, I found myself sobbing,

It wasn’t just the fear of losing these memories that I was scared of, it was also the weight of more.

It was the upsetting headspace I’d been in the past few weeks and the unshakable feeling of heartbreak that I’ve been experiencing.It was the days I spent trying to back my fucking data up over the Eid holidays and failing and failing and then giving up and putting it off for later when I’m around someone technologically unchallenged. It was the thought of losing more than I keep feeling heartbroken over. It was my inability to find my ‘purpose’ in life and the battle I’m fighting everyday with myself over where life’s headed. It was not wanting to get out of bed in the morning and having to force myself to go through the days and the chaos that is always taking over my insides. It was not knowing whether my warranty will cover the cost of the repair because of the dent in the laptop, because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to afford the repair. It was feeling overwhelmed over any other feeling in the world and feeling lost. Lost. All the time. Loss and lost.

From the moment I left the store, I felt my heart aching constantly. I kept picturing Nanu and all of a sudden all our pictures and videos together started doing the rounds inside my head. I cried out of fear and pain and heartbreak.

Later in the evening, at a coffee shop with Maa and Nana, I hugged my old man and cried. And he hugged me so hard that inch by inch, I felt some of the pain evaporate into thin air. It was like magic. And then, minute by minute, I felt better and better. And as we sat there, laughing and crying together, my sister’s words went through my head, in a loop: “but the sentiment isn’t tangible and that’s the only thing worth holding on to. Material things, they come and go.”

The time I was spending my Nana, it was healing and yet no tangible memories of it would remain except for in my heart. And that was comforting in context of  what may be lost.

As I sit here right now, setting up my Dad’s laptop to use for the next few weeks, typing away on a keyboard that feels like the hands of a stranger to me, while mine is another’s possession, I feel heartache. And gratitude.

Grateful to have a replacement laptop to use and for loved ones around me who care enough for me to remind me that life is beautiful.