#my life is a comedy and i cant stop shitting

[spaciebabie]

im so bored save me

hi so bored save me im spacie :)

[fipindustries]

a gay romantic comedy

because its the genre of movie i most grew up with my brain cant stop coming up with ideas for all family romantic comedies and one specific idea wont leave my brain: a straight guy who realizes he is gay. So now that im bed ridden with some mysterious illness ill take the time to get into it.

Warning: this gets stupid long.

Now you have to understand, the specific genre im thinking of is mid 2000s romantic comedy, so this straight guy, he is like aggresively heteronormative. He is kind of doofy, a little douchey but with a heart of gold. He is scott pilgrim. He is the type of guy that could have been played by paul rudd or ben stiller or seth rogen, right?

The movie starts with him going through a breakup with a girl, she complains that he never pays her attention, he never shows affection because he is too lost in his world of videogames and pot and, oh btw, he is lousy in bed. She storms off and he can barely muster the energy to call her back. He seems despondent but also kind of relieved.

So he goes to hang out with his stoner friends to lick gis wounds, and these guys are like the prototypical douchebags, james franco is tgere, jonah hill is there, fucking matthew lillard is there. And they are laughing it off and trying to tell him that he should "totally forget that bitch dude, there is always fresh pussy". They also take the chance to make fun of him a little for all his previois short lived failed relationships with women.

And then one of the whips out a gay porn because he claims "one of the actors there totally looks like jonah dude, is like really fucked up" and our protagonist, lets call him paul, is like, "aw i dunno guys, i dont think i want to watch this, i never watched gay porn before" and we cut to a series of flashbacks where he was raised by hilariously catholic parents who told him if he ever masturbated his fand would catch gangreene.

But they ignore him and put on the movie and first of all the actor does not look at all like jonah, at most they both have a jewfro, second as the scene goes on and the guys are laughing their asses off and going on about how "gross" and "fucked up" it is and can you believe some people are into this shit? Paul is slowly realizibg that, oh fuck, this is actually doing it for him. So he tries to disimulate and act normal but he is swea12ting and he clearly has a boner and is breathing hard and one of the guys asks "hey are you ok?" And he says some quick excuse to run out.

We cut to him running down the streets of downtown at night and he is freaking out because wherever he sees he sees hots guys in billboards and construction workers that look really buff and maybe he collides against a freddy mercury impersonator who offers him a hand when he falls to the ground that he rejects as he runs back to his apartment.

Once he is there he tries to prove to himself that he is definetly not gay so he tries to watch a normal straight porn but as it goes on he realizes he is looking at the guy not the girl. Then he sees his room is filled with posters of rambo and silvester stallone and he tears them down and its all a hilariously over the top breakdown. He flushes is macho action figures down the toilet, he tries to throw away his wolverine comics, at one point he is about to throw a vhs of chuck norris out the window but hen he realizes he just cant do it and collapses on the groubd crying

Next day he wakes up in the middle of his kitchen by the banging of the door, it is the one positive female influence he has in his life, his sister, who heard what happened and wants to see if he is ok.

He is like "im not ok" and he goes on about how he has "big news, terrible, terrible news" and he makes a huge deal out of it and the sister (played by, lets say, meg ryan) is like really worried and he finally is like "im gay!!! :((((("

And the sister is like "thats it?" And he is like "what do you mean thats it!?"

And then she completly deflates the tension and gives a speech about how its [current year] and its totally normal to be gay now a days and starts listing a bunch of celebrities that ard out and proud. So this calms him down a little and she goes on to say that this is actually a great opportunity for him, he just discovered there is a whole new flavor of ice cream he can enjoy and all the new doors this opens and is basically the speech the therapist gives to mel gibson in "what women want" and paul starts realizibg this could actually be an interesting experiment. What finally seals the deal is the sister saying "you know how you always had a hard time with girls? Well imagine now how much easier it should be for you to be with guys"

So then we go on to a montage of the guy exploring his new identity, maybe a shopping sequence where he tries a bunch of stereotipical gay outfits where his sister shakes her head at every single one. He goes to watch broadway shows, we see him watching will and grace or the ellen show. And finally the big one, he goes to a gay bar.

He is uncomfortable at first because he has no idea of the culture or the scene. Maybe he hits it off with a bunch of dudes, eventually he relaxes and starts to have fun. By the end of the night he walks off with like party hats and novelty glasses and confetti but, oh no! He comes across his douchy friends!

They ask him what is going on and "why is he dressed like a fag" and paul is stuttering, freezing in front of the headlights, not knowing what to say when a big dude we dont recognize walks in and he is like "hey! You forgot your acting check, for the short film you just acted in (wink wink)" and he bails paul in front of his friends. The friends walk off satisfied and paul is thanking the buff guy profusely and the guy is like "dont worry about it, after all, us fags have to stick together"

By the way the guy is none other than hugh jackman.

They immediatly hit it off. Its a meet cute. They have chemistry and a lot of fun. We get to another sequence of paul trying to figure out how to date a guy after years of only dating girls. He brings him flowers and chocolates, he tries to open the door for him at restaurants and pay for the check. At this hugh explain he doesnt have to treat him like a girl and insists on splitting the check. So then paul, wracking his brain for ideas for dates tries to invite him to a romantic comedy but hugh is like "actually i like to go see underground wrestling".

This opens a new set of funny highjinks were they are there watching the show and maybe paul gets dragged into the fight because this is a funny comedy world where wrestling is real. And there are lots of funny slapstick and hugh rescues him and carries him off in a reference to the movie "the bodyguard".

There are other funny scenes we can do like them going to pride parade or maybe paul and hugh coming across the catholic parents and through a series of misunderstandings and wordgames (maybe encouraged by paul to stay in the closet) the parents think hugh is like a roomate or a coworker "we share a room, we sleep in bunkbeds, uh, hugh likes to be the top [rimshot]"

Then finally comes the big moment. They are in bed together, they are making out, things are getting really steamy and hugh starts making advances to take paul's pants off. Maybe, agains because of misunderstandings, hugh thinks pauls wants to bottom and then the last remains of pauls heteronormativity kick in and he freaks out. He pushes hugh off, makes a huge scene. Maybe says some hurtful things, hugh is clearly upset at this and starts talking about how he is tired of paul hiding him or whatever. Its a huge fight. Paul storms off.

We have out obligatory sequence before the third act where our protagonists sulks and reflects on his choices and he is back to hanging out with his stoner friends who are saying a bunch of homophobic jokes and how things are "totally gay" and "dude that is so fucking gay" and maybe they are at the park jeering at a lesbian couple. And the paul decides he had enough and finds the courage to stand up to his friends.

He starts by telling them to cut it off with the homo jokes and calling bad things gay all the times and what is wrong with being gay anyway? And his friends are like "what are you? Gay?"

And he proudly says "yes, i am"

And his friends are all shocked into silence.

" now if you excuse me, i have to apologize with my boyfriend"

And then he runs off, and maybe the lesbians he defended yell "go get it white boy!"

So he has to run across the city to find his boyfriend, and the pop rock song swells in the background.

Now hugh is probably at a big event like an art gallery or a baseball game or maybe at an airport. The point is that is a big space with a big crowd, maybe for extra points pauls parents are there as well.

So paul comes in and does a big emotional gesture where he apologizes to hugh in front of everyone and he loudly comes out of the closet in front of all of new york (because of cpurse this happens in new york, in fact fuck it, its christmass too). And there is a big applause and he kisses hugh in front of everyone and maybe the mother comically faints.

And then hugh is like, really touched, but also there was no need to do this whole scene. "Paul, im a switch"

We cut to an epilogue years later where they are getting married in central park, and everyone is there. The sister is crying of happyness, the parents are lightly clapping through gritted teeth, the stoner friends are actually there and they are cheering and hollering and doing a big ruckus.

Hugh throws the bouquet of flowers and maybe jonah hill grabs it and he looks around and, why the fuck not, there is the gay porn star that sort of looks like him and he winks.

Our happy couple rides off into the sunset. The end.

Depending on how edgy we want to be we can have scenes of them doing hardcore gay sex during the credits, otherwise just a scene of both of them in bed after the sex, we get one last chance for our actors to improv some funny lines while "you get what you give" by the new radicals plays over the credits.

The end

[roxalicious]

Do you have any more yuri recs?

sure, here's a few

love thy neighbor: about 24 year old uni student pah doyeon and her 40 year old housewife neighbor jin joo. jin joo's husband left her alone as he works to pay off his debts, and it has Not been a fun few months for her, as the loan sharks after him have been terrorizing her daily. luckily, pah doyeon is there to lend a hand and shelter!

probably my biggest recommendation as of right now, so long as you don't mind the very much not healthy nature of the whole situation. this baby's got everything in it: blasphemy, cheating, milf-hunting, obsession, self-discovery through lust, and so on. pah doyeon is great. there's a lot wrong with her. she said this shit unprompted in the latest chapter

a love yet to bloom: a sweet story about takamine, who has yet to find anything in life she enjoys, and sakura, a book-loving girl she happens to meet on the train after school. it's very cute and has a nice, chill atmosphere. i always look forward to the next update

otome no teikoku: ok so. heres the thing. if you decide to pick this up the first, idk, dozen chapters will be Bad. there's a lot of male-gazey uncomfortable stuff at the beginning, and while it doesnt take too long for it to stop feeling so offputting and start being surprisingly wholesome and earnest instead, it never stops being horny, so read it if youre in the mood for that.

as for what it's actually about... well there's this all girls school, right? and it has girls in it. and they are all gay and dating each other. its basically just a collection of short chapters about different couples within this school, and it has some of my favorite dynamics and moments in yuri. i reread it very often (and there's almost 300 chapters of this thing out, so that's a feat) and it never stops being enjoyable. stan nononon/yumimi

a monster wants to eat me: about hinako, who lost her whole family to the sea in a tragic accident and now yearns to join them in the afterlife, and shiori, a mermaid claiming she's here to eat her. the problem is, hinako being actively suicidal and depressed means her flesh won't exactly be very tasty, and shiori is a bit of a gourmet, meaning her goal is to first help her recover and regain her joie de vivre, and only then will she eat her. i highly recommend this

out of the blue!: transfer honor student x delinquent yuri. it's very short so i dont wanna yap about it too much, but it's a big big personal fave. it's only 4 chapters so check it out

sougou tovarisch: honestly anything by arata iri never fails to get at least one laugh out of me, but this one especially. if you know a kiss and a white lily by canno (and if you don't, go check it out), the premise to this one is a bit similar to the dynamic between ayaka and yurine, with hardworking MC obsessed with being number one and chill love interest who beats her without even meaning to.

the focus here is less on romance and more on comedy, and i love it. kanna is amazing. she wins a chess match by punching her opponent so hard she passes out. its only 13 chapters + assorted extras, very fun easy read

now some stuff that doesnt really have yuri as focus but ive really enjoyed regardless and want to shout out and this is my blog so whatever

liar satsuki can see death: satsuki can see dead people. specifically, she can see the future corpses of people up to 24 hours before they actually die. she always zealously warns the future victims of the imminent danger, and she has been branded a weirdo and a liar for it as no one has ever actually died before. in truth, she is actually literally incapable of lying, and the only reason everyone survived so far is that she will go to frankly insane lengths to save them. she's a great protagonist and her autistic swag has captivated me and many others

mieruko-chan: miko can see... Things. that no one else can. but she has to pretend she cant, especially to the Things themselves. she doesnt know exactly what will happen if they realize she can see them, but she's certainly not about to find out.

this started as a twitter short that quickly gained popularity, so the premise of many early chapters is basically "miko sees something terrifying and has to ignore it, hilarity ensues", but the initially one-off characters introduced over time are eventually explored and given quite a lot of spotlight and im having a lot of fun with it. stan michiru

there's always more but here's what ive got so far- wait. read shuukura. ive talked about it before it's in my pinned please read shuukura i love those weirdos to an insane degree

[stonechild]

2023 favorites!

tagged by @venusmoon tysm ! <;3 (i am also not ranking but more so listing and recommending)

albums these are primarily alternative/indie rock

pinback by pinback (1999) // probably my favorite artist find of 2023! ive listened to a fair bit of pinbacks discography now but this is the one i keep coming back to. - my favs are hurley, crutch, tripoli, chaos engine, loro, and versailles

widows weeds by silversun pickups (2019) // ive known about silversun pickups for a while but never listened to any of their albums. this one has a fair bit of songs i liked :) - my favs are neon wound, straw man, songbirds, and simpatico

weird revolution by butthole surfers (2001) // a surprising love i also found this year! i was initially drawn in by the name of the band and the album artwork being so fun. again a fair amount of songs i liked. - my favs are shame of life, shit like that, intelligent guy, get down, and yentel

books i dont think i finished a single book last year.. lol.... but i can recommend:

carrie by stephen king (fiction, 1974) // im almost done with it and i feel it to be better than any movie adaptation ive seen. Its suspenseful and heartbreaking.

sex at dawn by christopher ryan and cacilda jetha (non-fiction, 2010) // im half way through this book i was reading over the summer. im definetely planning on finishing it this year. I appreciate it for helping me expand my mind on what sex is and what it can be.

movies a mess of genres and tones. a grab bag.

tar, 2022, R, drama dir. todd field main player: cate blanchet - dude i cant stop thinking about this movie... its kinds pretentious and has a mildly confusing plot, but i love it... i feel compelled to rewatch it just to gather more information i may have missed on my first viewing. quite frankly this movie is listed purely based on its unbreakable and mysterious hold over me. also its beautiful.

uncle buck, 1989, PG, comedy dir. john hughes main player: john candy - this movie was so unexpectantly sweet! i hadnt ever seen anything featuring john candy, and i found him to be incredibly charming and lovable. I also found myself laughing a lot and left it feeling warm inside.

contact, 1997, PG, sci-fi dir. robert zemeckis main player: jodie foster - this one is wild. ive always been a sucker for the scifi genre, but this one also tackles religion making it a very interesting look at the rifts and overlaps between the two. that plus the messages regarding grief, communication, global culture, and the hypothetical politics of extraterrestrial contact are welcomed. loved this one :)

fools rush in, 1997, PG-13, romance/comedy dir. andy tennant main players: salma hayek/matthew perry - im not much of a romcom watcher, but this movie is very cute! it has some issues of its time, but overall i found it to be a fun watch, especially with my boyfriend. in light of matthew perry's passing (i watched this not too long before it happened) i felt compelled to add this one to the list. him and salma bring down to earth and genuine chemistry to this movie that was very sweet. <3

tagging: @stinkbeck, @official-redhood, @moldavite, @chapelcarpet, @halfwaysleeping, @immuno, @soracities, @1ight, @eviltreespirit if you'd like :) <3

[pro-crastinate17]

hello this will be a reaction to black friday starkid because i like to talk about the things i like

(it ended up only being act 1 bc it got super long lol)

ths is only my third time watching it and the first time was like. 2 years ago (the second time was only a few months ago but i didnt absorb enough or write this so here we go again)

will be VERY long btw

in the jingle when angelas sniggle says "we're the sniggles! don't be scared!" she winks when she says dont be scared. this is. foreshadowing :thumbsup:

never getting over "hes deep down in drowsy town, sleepng the dreamless sleep of the dead!"

also JAMES TOLBERT!!!!! his VOICE im so <3 [heart]

also oh my god im reading WAY too far into this but. "hes riding santas sleigh cause hes friends with all the elves" wigglys main allies are uncle wiley and linda monroe, who are played by joey and lauren, who both play elves in santa claus is going to high school!!!

OUGH i love the announcer whose voice is that?? it is reminiscent of big bill hells lol

"i wanted a salad, but now i have a child" never gets old lol. also the exposition in this scene is FLAWLESS mwah

THE LA DI DA DA DAY MOTIF IN THE BACKGROUND LMAO (it is definitely NOT a la di da da day)

"i do not get flashbacks!!! ...i remember bad things vividly." TOM IS SO ME CODED LOL

emma doing paul's "okay" thing gives me LIFE

DYLAN SAUNDERS APPRECIATION MOMENT i love tom houston so much i love dylan saunders oh my goodness gracious literally flawless acting !!! and his VOICE i cant even (also him holding up his hands like the steering wheel is such good foreshadowing for him having been the one driving!!)

tom is COMPLETELY unable to read sarcasm. tom houston autism confirmed. (/silly)

OK OK I KNOW that "bud" is a common way to refer to weed. however. lex smoking weed in hatchetfield and says "bud" specifically?? PERKYS BUDS REFERENCE!

the "to nordstrom? ah shiiit!" he sounds so canadian?? i cant be the only one hearing this lol what was that

COREY DORRIS APPRECIATION MOMENT!!!!! HIS VOICE HIS ACTING HES SOOOO <3 [heart] also the frank and uncle wiley interaction is SO FUNNY !!! and the condescension paired with calling lex "alexandra" is a rlly good way to make it obvious how icky frank is i love it

"honest?" "cross my heart, hope to die" BUT HE WAS LYING AND THEN HE DIES. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE STARKID

am i the only one whos curious about the gerald cinnabon story lmao. what did he DO that was so bad that gary goldstein attorney at law couldnt save him from the consequences?

"thats called a BRIBE and its ILLEGAL!!!" *skeptical look* "...or it SHOULD be." IM GIGGLING

im osrry the "my CHILDREN were accidents" line KILLS ME lmao. esp bc she literally IS making it everyone elses problem (by demanding 4 wigglys)!!

ik this fandom talks a lot about "stop crying gerald i wasnt talking to you" but i dont think we pay enough attention to lindas stanley monologue. like holy shit.

ALSO TOM TAKES THE SPOT BEHIND BECKY IN LINE AND DOESNT PAY ANYONE and no one even notces bc theyre all too busy gossiping lmao also what do you say is SUCH a good song aaaa!!! (why is the homeless man so invested on

"tHe YeArS hAvE pAsSeD"

FRANK MY BELOVED I LOOOVE OUR DOORS ARE OPEN

unrelated but i just noticed curt (the farmer who has peanuts the hatchetfield pocket squirrel during what if tomorrow comes) does not currently have peanuts the hatchetfield pocket squirrel! how does he come to be in possession of peanuts? was peanuts also drawn to wiggly (since he is canonically a sentient being?) what is really going on here? maybe this was the real conspiracy all along /silly

JEFF BLIM WIGGLY HANDS (also distinctly resembles the wiggly hands jon does as wiggly in npmd!!)

also feast or famine is an INCREDIBLE song like actually AAAAAA !!! chaos reigns!!!

is ethan wearing a kilt? or a skirt?? also him saying "more bad" instead of worse GIGGLE

tom scaring gary off just by looking scary is PEAK comedy i take no criticism

"aHhH yUmMy!!!!!"

"I HAVE A HAIR APPOINTMENT TODAAAAAAAAAY"

the resurgence of hello naughty list?? does sthat mean uncle wiley originally wanted lex to be the prophet. DOES THAT MEAN UNCLE WILEY ORIGINALLY WANTED LEX TO BE THE PROPHET.

i cant stop saying "i have pepper spray and i use it more than you can possibly imagine", also "ohh i dont know if you wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna FUCK with me miss monroe" ITS SO SILLY

when he sings the little "why should you give when you can get" BE STILL MY HEART (i have gender envy for joey richter)

"all you gotta do is just do what you do best-" "SHOP." "-be a mother." "...right." I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC.

"yEs I fUcKiNg SeE hIm"

i never noticed bob is a parody of obama lmao ALSO HIM COMFORTING WIGGLY AFTER HOWIE CALLS HIM A FUCKING WEIRD LITTLE MONSTER LMAO

"iLL bItE yOuR nIpPLe OfF"

the way the wiggly is damaged is NOT what wouldve happened from being shot. but thats ok bc its my babygirl general john macnamara <3 [heart]

MONSTERS AND MEN IS SO GOOD. I LOVE JEFFS VOICE SM JEFF BLIM APPRECATION MOMENT !!!!! also he looks Rigjt at the camera when he says "its nothing on your phone" GIGGLE

[stinkysarai]

idk why but i feel like the funniest and also most annoying thing i see with atla characters is like. how theyre pushed into a VERY small box and mostly known for/ characterized with like. a certain aspect of them.

tell me why i constantly see ‘mom friend katara shes so momcore motherly’ posts. like yeah i guess so but shes more than just a motherly person guys!! shes a teenage girl with anger and rage and a very very strong passion for justice! shes a teenage girl who was forced to mature and clearly dislikes the motherly part of herself!!! cmon guys shed be so upset if she was only known for being a ‘mother hen’ or something!!

aang. poor aang literally hes either a 'pacifist saint scared of confrontation and has no guts' or an 'evildoer thats the founder of frowntown' or some shit. did we watch the same show?? i mean i was a little sleep deprived when i watched it yeah but i dont think aang was the true villain of atla… i think that was ozai? just a guess ? (sarcastic) idk. i just think its crazy that this little fella is usually seen in such a bad light

sokka. my boy sokka brah see hes like. hes a strange thing. i feel like there could be a buzzfeed quiz of Which Sokka Are You? and the options are buff stupid ass himbo that gets girls , annoying male manipulator/manchild that hurts women, mean big brother thats only ever sarcastic and annoying and cynical and NEVER shows any emotion other than hatefulness, spite, and jealousy, or sunshine happy funny guy that aspires to be a comedian and never has any emotions or personality other than butt of the joke/ jokester. and even then those are like. BROAD options. i could get so much more specific but like. i wont because im lazy. it just. it peeves me a little bit but to be fair i am the same type of person to go YOU DONT GET MY FAVE LIKE I DO even though i am bad at overanalyzing characters. sokkas my fave so i might just be spewing nothin but pure ass takes (dont criticize me ill cry)

toph. AUGHHHH IT GETS ME SO MAD!! why is she a mean ass no tolerance no respect girl!! why is it thay most of the time they make her out to be some girl that is mean to others because ‘its funny!!1!1!’ and will never listen and also hates everyone and is unnecessarily violent. THAT or they make her out to some ‘i’m secretly really sweet and nice and kindheartedmaxxed but i hide myself with ANGER and violence and rebellion…’ type of person that acts like a tsundere in extreme comedy animes. like giys please why are there two extremes that neither of which are good!!

dont get me started on zuko because once i start i wont stop . WHY WHY WHY!!!! i scream to the midnight sky as raindrops down my despaired face… WHY is it that hes either a small, shy, vulnerable sack of twigs who cant defend himself and needs his alpha sigma buff boyfriend(s) to defend him at all times or a buff ass strong extremely mean jerk thats also ‘a bad boy with a big heart’ that smirks 25/8 and is sad all the time and in his feels. guys like… WHY?? HES NOT .. GUYS olease. Please please please

pisses me off man! but to be fair i am VERY particular about a lot of thijgs and like. no shame / hate truly. im just a fella who cant shut up, living my life happy go lucky and filled with love and hate. if this offends you PLEASE DONT HURT ME im just a feller!!! a person in this big big world!! twas just a rant!

[max-is-really-okay]

Because I am not an asshole, I will just make my own post instead of adding to one.

BUT CINEMA SINS IS NOT (AND I REPEAT NOT) THE REASON PEOPLE CANT FUCKING COMPREHEND MEDIA

Is it a silly channel? Yeah, it's comedy/satire.

Is it for everyone? No, sometime the bits get annoying; or I just want to enjoy something without thinking of every unimportant detail that was missed.

But they have said MULTIPLE TIMES that the channel isn't meant to hold any value as an actual reviewer.

Idk it just feels like we're pointing a finger at one of the least pressing issues in this debate. There ARE people who say similar shit unironically, who worship the channel and think it's totally serious, etc. And that's due to the lack of media comprehension already there.

Not only have schools just stopped giving a fuck about the quality of education, we are actively discouraged from looking at things too closely in day to day life. Because of censorship and corporate greed we no longer get any life changing stories with themes and references hidden in every corner- not because no one is wanting to tell them but because that's not profitable anymore.

People scoff at the idea of the blue curtain being blue for a reason BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN CONDITIONED TO. With 20 Marvel movies coming out every year and 8 other blockbusters, there's so much media to consume that there's not enough time to look into it. They don't want you looking into it, because once you look past the curtains you realize just how soulless and polished everything is.

[arduadastra]

An unhinged recap of TLOU EP3

Honestly read at your own peril, I cried a lot in this one

*spoilers ahead*

So right off the bat I played TLOU with my partner very soon after it came out, and then again.....and again......(and again) a few more times so I thought I was ready for this. I was ready for grissly asshole bill needing to go find Frank because he's only gone and got himself in some shit and yeah joel and ellie come along I know where a battery is but oh no Frank got bit?! and have a cry but did we get that? No. Do i wish we did? Absolutely not.

But i am kinda bummed we didnt get pedro pascal caught upside down shooting at zombies because of Frank's trap....thats one of my all time favourite scenes

ANYWAY

The whole set up to Bill and who he is, is done so well and with comedy too. It's meant to be ridiculous in a way that someone like bill, a prepper and lets be real we all know one, who 9/10 is called crazy is now the smart one and we see him living his best solo life in his mini town

5. Years pass im thinking huh, that isnt too long, we arent up to present day yet and then i see my boy frank in a hole and im thinking OH YEAHHHH we get some BACKSTORY

6. "there is no girl" "i know" - why did this make me laugh yet cry in the same breath? its so bloody unfair people can grow up without knowing what it is to love and be loved simply because some assholes out there made it 'not the norm' and considering how bill grew up, im sure that didnt help either.

7. "have you done this before?" "no"

8. Young joel in that sunshine? eating with that fork on a fancy plate with pedro's non grey hair and looking clean as frick? this was for the pedro simps and i APPROVE

8.5 MY BOYS JUST WANNA GROW STRAWBERRIES OK

9. the raiders hit, im thinking SHIT here we go, this is when theyre gonna kill frank and joel and ellie will show up and bill will be an asshole and joel will think nothing of it and ill be screaming at my tv and all will be right in the wor- wait what BILL GOT HIT?!

10. oh he's fine

11. Frank isn't though

12. This is where im prepping myself right? I KNEW since i started this episode that he would die, he died in the game and he's gotta die here but im not liking this.

13. Bill stop naming Frank's pills fun names im literally crying

14. Frank: "This is my last day" Me:

15. I dont need to write the speech he made because honestly if i did i'll just cry again and im writing this on my laptop and i really cant afford a new one but you all know that made you cry too

16. THEY. GOT. MARRIED. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?! ARE YOU?! BECAUSE THIS SUCCEEDED MAN YOU DID IT - WELL DONE

17. Now here i am, tears streaming down my face when you lose something you cannot replace Frank has drunk the wine, im a puddle and then Bill.....this mother fricker....downs his glass and im thinking wait a miniute here....this isnt what happened in the game

18. "objectively.....that is very romantic"

19. ........ *frank castle voice* wait wait wait wait wait WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

20. my ass is in denial right, im like nah ok bill is gonna wake up and that'll be horrifying and heartbreaking because now hes forced to live on without the love of his life and joel and ellie arrive and his door is locked and i knew this aint the way it's gonna be

21. the letter. I need say nothing more.

22. So after ALL THAT, all the sobbing and crying and pact and 'we left a window open' they're just gonna throw at me some joel and ellie bonding in the car? theyre gonna give me the game quotes of 'what you say goes' ????????????????

TLDR: EP3 was beautiful and heartwarming and then soul sucking all at once. While i didnt get my refirdgerator scene i got something so much more and I loved them for that. Now im just hoping ellie found those magasines because best BELIEVE thats another of my all time favourite scenes from the game

[perpetually-sad-but-its-fine]

chicago fire 11x10

I WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED

I HAVENT STARTED PLAYING THE EPISODE YET

IM TRYING TO MENTALLY PREPARE MYSELF

CUZ I CANT HANDLE THIS

i don't like this recap

its scaring me

EMMA FUCK OFF

NO STELLA

WHATS HAPPENING

carvers gonna die isn't he

I DONT WANT HIM TO

OH GOD

PLEASE

I CANT HANDLE THIS

oh poor kelly

hiS WIFES IN THERE

KELLY

YOURE GOING IN THERE WITH NO PROTECTION

NO COME ON

I CNT HANDLE THIS

STELLA

S T E L L A

WHERE ARE YOU

PLEASE BE OKAY

OH MY GOD

NO

OH MY GOD

oh my god carvers okay

oh YAY

THEYRE ALIVE

STELLA

PLEASE BE OKAY

STELLA

WHY WOULD YOU HURT ME AND KELLY LIKE THIS

PLEASE

PLEASE BE OKAY

DONT DO THIS TO US

IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH

oh my god

severide barely holding back tears

no

im sorry

im not strong enough

SHE TOOK OFF THE MASK TO AS ABOUT PRYMA

SHES A HERO

‘my heart rate must be breaking records’

‘yeah its a little elevated but youre gonna be okay’

good to see that they can still joke

fantastic

aS IF IM NOT DYING WATCHING IT

SOOOO CONSIDERATE

DIAGNOSING HERSELF WHILE DYING

violet driving like a madwoman

we love it

‘hell yes, gimme everything you got’

STELLA PLEASE BE OKAY

keLLY IM GONNA CRY IF YOU CRY

PLEASE DONT

‘i can't

YES YOU CAN

DONT DO THIS

oh god

blake why the hell are you telling the story right now

nowS NOT THE TIME

CARVERS OKAY

IM SO HAPPY

i really like his character

aw

poor guys sitting apart from them

he probably blames himself

poor guy

oh joes stiLL WEARING THE SUIT

I LOWKEY FORGOT ABOUT THE LAST EPISODE

Joe looking out for carver is great

oh no

do they blame him????

please tell me they don't

carver needs family

‘we’re all here for you’

THEY ARE

SO DONT BE A DUMBASS

KELLY

IS SHE OKAY

OH THANK GOD

SHES GONNA BE OKAY

HE LOOKS LIKE HES BEEN CRYING

MY POOR BOY

oh carver

KELLY

HES CRYING

IM N O T OKAY

THE BLOOD ON HIS HANDS

WHERE THE HELL IS MATT TO COMFORT HIM

oh god

carver and boden

how's this gonna go???

uh oh

started out normal

now what's this?

oh free therapy session

carver please listen to boden

he’s looking out for you

god

his voice is breaking

and so am i 

I caNNOT HANDLE THIS

ph shit wait

is carver gonna realize that he can't handle the stress

and then resign altogether?

CUZ I DONT WANT THAT

oh kelly

being a good husband

NO STELLA

why'd you do that

my girl

why

STELLA AND KELLy

THE LOVES OF MY LIFE

‘have you been here all day?’

‘im not going anywehre’

AHHHHHH

THERYE ADORABLE

THEY DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER

wait

carver

whyd you stop

go talk to her

istg if this is some sort of failed love triangle thing

im gonna shoot someone

oh that scar

stella

PLEASE

THEYRE HORNY TEENAGERS

THEYRE SO HORNY

HOW ARE THEY NOT FUCKING EVERY SECONF OF THE DAY

‘shrapnel framed’

i wanna see that actually

oh capp wearing a bomb suit

i wanna see that

everyone guessing what it sylvie ordered is great

peak comedy

sylvie asking for help and then guilt tripping them

and then all of them groaning

we love it

oh poor violet

what happened

oh emma

again

yay

violet this is gonna backfire

i can feel it

thank you gallo

for looking out for her

thE SCAR

‘it’s no big deal, we shower and sleep together’

*confused smirk look*

‘yknow what i mean’

god

if they do some sort of bullshit of carver having feelings for stella 

i will hunt down chicago fire writers and slap them

‘he’s no stella kidd’

aint that the truth

stella unable to take a compliment from carver is great

what's happening here

i have a bad feeling

somethings gonna happen

i know it will

there's no way that this is an accident

this feels fishy

oh what is that

im scared

HOLY SHIT

wHaT

‘someones in the vent’

how in the fuck is that possible

lieutenant kidd being a boss

like she always is

we love it

oh no

carvers gonna have some sort of reaction isn't he

oh no

this is like joe thing isn't it

no

i can't

this poor dude

who is this guy

uh oh

tweaker

isn't it

uh oh

this isn't gonna end well

if you hurt stella

ill murder him

no

please don't do anything stupid

carver

what's going on with you

seriously

please tell me that you don't have feelings for Stella

i won't be able to handle that

oh violet and boden

oh no

this isn't gonna end well

is it?

boden further proving that he is the father of everyone in the house

love to see it

worried!husband!kelly

we love it

‘decades of italian beef grease’

loving the jokes

CARVER

PLEASE BE OKAY

please talk to kidd

no

that's not what she wants

please

just

please

TALK TO SOMEONE

WORK THROUGH YOUR PROBLEMS

oh

this’ll be fun

gallo is the resident tech guy

love it

oh yippee

i love it

IM CACKLING

thank you sylvie

youre fantastic

i feel like sylvies going to adopt a baby that's put in that box

i don't like this chief already

hes a dick

i can feel it

oh

this is gonna be f u n

oh no

this isn't gonna end well

please

I WANT TO GET RID OF JACOBS

no

i hate this

god stop reminding me that evan died

NO VIOLET

IF SHE STARTS CRYING I WILL

NO STELLA

NO

NO

NO

‘hey, honey!’

GOD HE CALLED HER HONEy

IM CRYINGGG

STOP HURTING ME DAMMIT

no stella

im crying

stop

stop

stop

stoppppp

I CANT

WHY CANT WE HAVE PEACE

kelly looks like hes gonna cry too

yay

we’re all crying

oh kelly and gallo

yay

this is gonna hurt me even more

kelly please go talk to them

AHHAHAHA

THE ALARM

I fucking love the way they jumped at the sound

its great

sylvie immediately turning to herrmann

we love to see it

OH MY GOD

THERES A BABY THERE

ISNT THERE

oh wait

is it gonna be some dude who mistook it for a trash can?

wait

i don't know what's happening

oh nvm

LMAOOOO

capp

shut the fuck up

thank you sylvie

‘do we blame her though’

no

we do not

great

hes now going through the trash for his food

yay

oh prYMA

i completely forgot about him

oh the tech squad

we love to see it

oh no

poor violet

LMAOOO GALLO

‘i didn't think so, i was just trying to help’

god they make me laugh

and they make me cry

violet

you said that this want about revenge

it looks like it was about revenge

oh stella and kelly

with topic of carver as a topic for conversation

oh please

make them talk

‘you going soft on me kelly severide?’

i love them

‘good, cuz if he touches your hand hes a dead man’

I LOVE KELLY SO MYCH

stella please listen to your husband

herrmann

what're you doing

why do i feel like theres something more

i don't think there is

but still

oh

stella

talk to him

talk to carver

please

carver if you think this is a date, ill smack you

emma FUCK OFF

jacobs

youre really giving me the vibe of super villain

wait

violet has an idea

*gasp*

IS SHE GONNA MAKE EMMA SAY WHAT SHE DID AND RECORDIT????

sylvie looks so GOOD

oh MS GOODWIN

ms goodwin and sylvie is a duo i never knew i needed

they are amazing

a power duo

truly

who is this?

kelly what're you doing

OH PRYMA

how's this gonna go?

oh damn they're joking

i love it

actually

i do

pryma being a dad is such a surprise to me

‘just shut up and take the award’

‘i will’

PLEASE I LOVE THIS NEW DYNAMIC

oh damn

that was a real damper

thank you violet

for realizing that you were doing it for revenge

you are smart

oh stella and carver

please

just talk

‘why do I feel like im about to be led to a firing squad’

‘oh we really don't trust each other much, do we?’

‘mhm’

I LOVE THEIR BANTER

please talk to each other

please

YES

they're getting somewhere!

carver please reciprocate

please

‘not more than usual’

the hell does that mean?

carver don't lie

‘your overconfidence, bad attitude, is completely gone’

‘you miss them?’

‘and that's called deflection’

PLEASE MAKE THEM BESTIES

please talk to her carver

oh no

im gonna start crying again

please

stop hurting her

oh no

hes referencing his scar isn't he

whAT HAPPENED

PLEASE TELL ME

I CANT HANDLE THIS

oh no

stop

stOP

STOP

NOOOOO

POOR CARVER

WHAT

CARVER MY POOR CHILD

MY POOR POOR CHILD

good god

what kind of big brother does that?

noooooooo

I CANT HANDLE THIS

NO

FUCK OFF

STOP HURTING ME

S T O P

HOW CAN YOU DO THIS

im in pain

‘you got hurt by covering me’

chicago fire writers, im send you my therapy bill

‘I will pull it together, per my lieutenants orders’

pleASE I LOVE THEM

AND I WANT THEM TO BE BESTIES

[s0lar-ch3ri]

i consider it human decency

like the idea of "explaining the joke makes it unfunny" is not only subjectively false, but bullies those who *want* or even *need* that explaination

sometimes it allows you to learn cool shit, other times you can get someone else to laugh along

there is no bad side to explaining a joke! explain them for people who dont get it! repeating the joke doesnt make it make sense and if you refuse to let your friends in on a joke, your an asshole (minus if its like a personal joke or one you wanna keep the context of between a certain group, that i get, but like sharing it online? thats not an inside joke there buddy)

now that ive covered the part of "explaining jokes is very good" lets talk on why explaining it commonly makes it more funny

number one is obvious but hey. you let someone understand the joke. like i put in parentheses earlier but didnt fully elaborate on, if your sharing a joke online or anywhere, we gotta understand the punchline for it to be funny buddy. otherwise you just said some random shit that like nobody gets.

"oh but these people get it why cant the-" bonk. bonk. bonk. bonk. bonk (this repeats for 10 billion years [joking]). the joke there is im hitting them with a giant mallot. theres a set up (the stupid comment) and a punch line ("this repeats for 10 billion years") that with explanation you might have not gotten! you wouldnt have guessed the mallot probably, whats bonking you? whos getting bonked? what is bonking (sorry, didnt explain that, its like the noise thats somewhat made when you hit your head on something, commonly associated with hamemrs and most times i see it clowns? yeah lol)? does it end or would you keep saying bonk? why did you stop? whatever questions lol

different people understand things differently and i made an at-school poll as proof of it (which ill be sharing pics of later)! you like things, other people dont, thats not some satanic crime against the holy word of god (exaggeration of my point).

"alright, but it stops being fu-" i have the hammer still!~ BONK! (they are bleeding out dead on the floor [another joke referencing the one i made earlier with bonking]) not only has this comedy tactic been used before, but theres this guy on youtube (kurtis connor, comedian, funny guy) and he explains several of his jokes! sometimes the explanation is the punchline. honestly? funny ass shit.

my explanations of jokes may be seen as too much here (maybe someone believes that "no ones gonna need the explained reference"), but i dont care! im trying to make this understandably funny!

comedy isnt some personal experience, make everyone laugh, the joy and whimsy of life and jsut clowning around (HONK HONK! <- thats a clown horn noise, most times used when a clown character "honks" or squeezes their commonly big red nose. again, reference to the clown jhokes ive been making, it is also a pun) should be enjoyed by all!

Appreciation post for everyone explaining a joke in comments and posts when someone doesn't get it, for people willing to explain pop culture references that fly over someone's head, for people answering genuine questions about some issue someone has trouble understanding, for people who take enquiries about "common sensical" stuff in good faith, I love you <3

[senor-plume]

Commedia

I love a good comedy

divine and others

and I know soon I'll end up in one of Dante’s circles (and I can't speak one word of Italian) but which one?

I've flattered a few folks in my day… I've sold people out…a traitor of sorts… I've dived into flesh passion… I've engaged in sodomy…but I am a repentant sodomite! I've been fraudulent on occasion…

and of course…a few others

but is it measured against the fine things I have done in this incarnation of life?

I've raised two boys with kindness, love and patience… I've treated animals with care and the warm hand of love… I've made tea for my ladies when cramps hit them bad…(with golden honey) I've never taken a man’s life away from him… I put a Bon Jovi cassette into a microwave oven and melted that shit down I've never once masturbated to a starlet making millions of dollars…

and so on…

but religion and it's theory's tell you… or force you to believe that the hand of God is all powerful and (help us all) fair…in His eyes

this sentence that I am currently going through makes me reflect upon my somewhat useless life

I've come to the dreadful conclusion that my bad works will out way my good works…

(kind of like Jimmy Carter administration)

so, I am doomed to the entrails of the henchmen of Satan…

to be swallowed once and again… for eternity

and hell, all the beer I drink now just to forget this Earthly pain ain't gonna help me then

nothing will and I guess, now as I stare my demise with every X I make on the calendar there’s really nothing I can do about it

you cant unkill what you already killed you cant unfuck what you've already fucked… ..and so on

and when I think about it deeply I suppose I just want a way to suck up and get a chair on Satan’s board of advisors

kind of like my Dad climbing up in the corporate banking world to make Vice President

unlike him though, I'll have to deal with The Fallen Angles horns poking into my flesh every second

probably better than going on business retreats and certainly better than the cafeteria food

comedy can mold pain and turn it into something humorous

I hope that’s true

I'll know the answer much faster than I ever expected

and if I can I'll try and pass my laughing screams of agony onto you

you'll know I'm around when the faint smell of sulfur reaches you and the clouds take on a jaundice appearance

My Escaped Circle:

The Jaundice Cloud Of Sulfur

��as Living On A Prayer plays on beyond the clouds

with me, yellow and unable to do a fucking thing to stop it

[manifesting-mari]

Morning Pages 1/20/2023

I usually do my morning pages after my meditation and prayers, but today  the voices in my head are so loud that i wanna let them talk. Theres a part of me thats starting to worry, just like 1%, that im undiagnosed and should be seeking some kind of mental health help. And i do have a therapist, but id ont have the money right now to pay for an appointment. I feel very much ungrounded and in my head. Maybe this is why meditation is so important. It allows me to connect with my body and not be swimming with all the thoughts inside of me. I really feel very cerebral right now. It could also be that i dont have cannabis. I do have canna bis but in edible form, i wonder what it would be like to take an edible before my meditation and prayers.

Its a nice day today. Im thinking about taking an edible and going to my meditation and prayers at the beach. Or maybe i’ll do my meditation and prayers at home and then just go for a walk. It si friday today, so i’d like to make sure that i’m not on the roads by 3 pm today. I dont wanna be in any traffic. 

I can feel so many thoughts swimming around in my head that i cant really land on just one. The one thats coming forward is this version of myself that wants to do things and be productive, whose value is placed in her ability to show accomplishments. But theres another one holding her hand. It the part of me that knows that in the grand scheme of things the accomplishments and productivity are not definitions of the value I have as a person. I was gonna type that they dont matter, but in a way they do. I want to feel productive and accomplished in certain areas of my life because it helps me feel better and brings me closer to a version of myself that is able to enjoy life more fully. 

I think about all the different things im into right now. Pole, tarot, comedy. I feel like there’s something there that wants to be integrated all together. I keep getting this inkling that i need to mix my comedy and psychic abilities. Maybe i just need to try things and let them grow. I’m grateful I can be weird and do things people dont expect. I know in my heart that i’m doing something that no one else has done before. I know i\that i am a connection to this divine creation and its speaking through me. Maybe i need to do less manipulation and more surrender. Ahhhh the surrender part is always scary for me. I have a hard time trusting. Trusting myself, trusting the universe. I wonder what can help me with these trust issues.

I’m also noticing now the part of me that feels tired. It feels drained and wants more sleep. I went to be around 1:30 and woke up at 8. Thats 7 hrs. Maybe i need more. The feeling i have now is the same sleepy feelings i get in some of my lucid dreams. When im moving around in my dream but still feel so tired. I think that means theres n=more subconmcious rest and healing that needs to be tended to. 

Im nto sire what i’m tying now but i’m just letting myself types. Idk. i enjoy typing and writing. I think i have some interesting shit to say. Like, i’d buy my own album. Maybe thats why no one is about my shit. Am i even about my shit. I am. I’m really about me. I stand for me and i’d go to bat for me. I see me and i have so much more compassionf or myself now than i did before. I see the ways i am doing my goddamn best and i am proud of the work i’m doing. I’m grateful to have amazing people in my life to point that all out to me. I’m grateful to be able to be myself in my fullest expression, whatever that means. I get to be exactly who i am now. What a privilege. I get tp be authentic and real and honest with myself and with others. If i’m not sure or if i dont know i wont lie or i wont tell stpories to seem more interesting. If i catch myself starting to embellish i’;ll stop and take a beat and think, is this a real thing i want to share or do i just wanna amke myself seem more whatever in order for people to like me

I liek being liked. Its the validation for me. I need to remind myself that i am valued for my aiuthticity and honesty. I am valued for my honesty and realness. Thats what i like about myself. I want to become softer. I wnat to be less aggressive and be softer and more patient and loving with myself and others. Allow myself to be imperfect. Allow myself to be. Even when writing this i wanna go back and edit it. Fix all the grammar mistakes and mispellings. But i’m trying not to. I wanna let this just be. Just let the mistakes happen. Feel the crunchiness in all of it. See where i can be more present and more grounded in this experiment we call life. 

To be honest, thirty years feels liek a lot and a little at the same thing. Like when you think about it, for the first like 2 to 4 years youre not even conscious. Like, there are no memories at all. And from 4 - 10 youre still trying to get all the social and motor skills to be a basic human being. And then from 11-25 youre body is changing and growing and you have all these hormones and things are constantly and quickly shifting. And then your late 20’s hit an dyoure finally waking up to what being a human adult is and feels like. So you hit your thirties and its liek youre a toddler again. Especially in a spiritual and emotional sense, i feel like i’m just getting the hang of this shit. 

I keep hearing from my older firends that 40 is much more fulfilling and enjoyable than your 30’s. And that how i feel about my 30’s compared to my 20’s. And maybe thats just because i have people in my life who live very intentionally. I think its time for me to start living inteltionally. I intend to live a healing life filled with growth and expansion. I intend to live a life where integration and compassion are the foundation of my relationship with myself and others. I intend to live a life that facilitates joy and creativity. When i types the growth and expansion thing, i felt something inside of me. I felt a part of me thats scared of expansion. Thats scared to take on responsibility. That doesnt trust myself to treat this new things with intentionality and care. Maybe its the growth and expansion i dont need right now. Maybe i intend to live a healing life filled with compassiona nd joy. That feel really good. An di think the growth and expansion is a side effect of the compassion.

I’ve been using these words a lot, especially compassion. Simply because i never really felt that from myself. I could see how other people were compassionate with me, but i was still in the oppressed and oppressor mode within myself. Any part of me that feels oppressed will be embraced with love and care. Any part of me that wants to fight and be aggressive will be embraced with love and care. I am grateful these parts of me are here. The oppressed part deeply empathizes with the pain in the world and inspired grounded me to make choices where i can shift away from those cycles and instead place more love and healing into the world. The aggressive part of me sees the important of standing in my truth and not feeding back into the negative cycles. I forgive the parts of me that fed into the cycles. I forgive the parts of other that feed into the cycles. We are all coping. 

It hurts when i choose to be compassionate and i meet with someone who is in their aggression. I can empathize with the aggression, but choos enot to act on it. I would usually act on it. I still do have some repressed anger that has difficulty coming forward. Or maybe i’m just not really an angry person. When i am honest and authentic and i speak my truth and i have people around me who can hold space and validate my feelings, the aggression is able to be massaged out, rather than exploding like it did in the past. I am ashamed that that happened but i have so miucih love for those parts of me that didnt know any better.

Now i know better. Now i know my body is truly in charge. My nervous system hold the key to lots of these mysteries about myself. I wanna grab that book, the body keeps the score. I can fele the tension around my neck and body. I think there is guilt that is still stored there. I can feel the energy reserves around my stomach and neck. Its like my body developed these storage units to safe the energy for when i truly need it, and maybe it now. Maybe now is the time i truly need to start transmuting the energy in my stomach into something else. 

Im looking forward to my meditation and prayers now. Im gonna do them at home cause its so comfy in my bed right now. What am I transmuting? That will be the question. And i wonder if i need to be conscious of the transmuting. Will my body do it by myuselkf and iu need to just give it rest, care, and compassion. My body heals itself, i am the facilitator. How do i facilitate this healing? What space do i need? What food do i need? What do i need to provide myself to facilitate the healing. I just need to be present for myself and be present for my experience. What i am feeling and what i am going through is real and valid and i understand that i cannot force or change the path i’m on. That is unsustainable. I am the one to bring ease and joy into the work that my body knows it needs to do. I am grateful to know myself in this way. I want my body to be strong and healthy so we can keep facilitation for ourselves and in the future, for others.

[deadghosy]

🎃Halloween imagines

Robin Arellano

He would definitely do some stupid shit.

You can’t tell me he would be that kid to pretend they haven’t been to your house before when he has been there for the 6th time for more candy 🍭

Binges horror movies and his favorite ones.

If you ever went trick or treating with him he would be so happy and hold your hand while smiling.

Wouldn’t do matching costumes cause he says that they are “corny” but really he is embarrassed going out cause of his “bad kid reputation”

But he would definitely make sure you both wear matching bandannas in public to school.

One time he once stayed home to give candy out to kids only for the kids to take more than one and when Robin caught one of them little shits they threw candy at robin like a dog.

Never again did he open that damn door again.

Finney Blake

He either is staying home to give candy out, or trick or treating.

Finn loves when you come to his house, so he would play your favorite Halloween movie ever.

Popcorn and everything. This man is prepared for this nice Halloween date.

If he did went trick or treating, he would bring you and Gwen. Y’all would have a blast ding dong ditching people’s house and run laughing your asses off.

I can see Finn skipping like a little girl cause he is having the time of his life with Halloween.

Ends Halloween with eating too much candy and waking up with wrappers around him and you in his arms while Gwen is literally hanging off the couch.

Vance hopper

You would have to annoy him and beg him to dress up for Halloween.

The costumes were a demon and you beings angel. When I tell you this man didn’t get when you said the demon costume reminded you of him.. he did not get in at all.

So when you both walked out, Bruce came to say hello when he stopped smiling at Vance who looks ready to go home already. “Why is Vance dressed as himself, yk you can’t dress like yourself dude.” Vance right then and there now meant why he had to wear this stupid costume.

He looks to his right to see you trying not to laugh. “You think this is funny shit head?” You just nod while trying to keep it together even if some little noises are coming out.

He pushes you away from him while walking away fuming. “THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT! I CANT BELIEVE THE AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH-”

He stole a little kid’s candy bag cause his whole night was ruined. The kids mom told him to be more mature but Vance flipped he lady off and said “fuck off lady” while still walking away.

Bruce Yamada

Bruce is definitely trick or treating.

Would go as his favorite baseball player, this mf would be holding his baseball bat waving it around jerks who would try to mess with you.

Would probably yell as loud as possible when saying “trick or treat”

Mf probably says “trick or treat or smell my feet” as a joke. And you would have to stand behind him either snickering or looking like you don’t know this man.

Would definitely use his baseball bat to pitch candy around his room for fun while you are eating his candy.

Ends Halloween with you and him telling stories when you were kids or like just talking about how trick or treating went

Billy Showalter

Would be baking Halloween cookies and making snacks for when you hang out with him.

You both will be definitely wearing matching couple costumes.

He just loves seeing you around him smiling happily. He will definitely give candy out to the kids and tell them to be good.

He most definitely is a type of boyfriend to always like hold your hand while watching a horror movie. But he doesn’t like watching horror movies because he’ll get nightmares every two days in a row.

So really you both are we watching comedy shows while eating candy together.  if he ever went trick-or-treating he will bring you along ‘ he likes to have you around him because he feels comfortable with you, he’ll be the kid to yell out to the people gives them candy “have a good night.” with the most charming smile.

If he was giving candy out he would always have the most favorite candy ever. and your Halloween ends with you waking up on his shoulder, smiling at the memory you two had.

Griffin Stagg

(This part is you being his parental figure cause it’s cute that way)

He would tell you to let him go trick or treating since you are kinda protective over him. He loves that you care about him a lot.

He even once called you his mom/dad/parent. He was so embarrassed that it slipped out but you said it was okay.

“Mom/Dad/(Y/n)!! THEY HAVE SNICKERS!!” Griffin yelled in excitement. He ran up to you and pulled your sleeve so he could show you.

He definitely had a sugar rush, so you had a bottle of water just in case he went too crazy. This was the first time he felt free of negativity and boredom. Of course he loved his books, but he also know that there is more than books.

He loved that he felt like a kid. And you were proud too, you were proud to see him smile like that this night.

He was very bouncy while going to houses, he was dressed as a pumpkin cause you sometimes call him your little pumpkin.

When you both went home he was sharing his candy with you even if you told him no. He still gave you some.

You both watch some movies to past the night, and when you woke up he was on you lap. Cuddled against you smiling. You softly smiled at him while kissing his head.

And that’s how you both ended Halloween

[joculatrixster]

as someone who started watching south park in like middle school and is currently 18 let me just quick reply to this post bc honestly? the op has a point but went about saying this point in the most teen-repellent way possible.

like no fucking teen already watching south park is going to listen to the post its dripping w/ condescension and just kinda is clearly for adults to remember bad times w/ sp fans or who just dont like the show to get in the replies and say shit like “yes ur so right for that!!! hot take the sp fandom cant handle” which is annyoing to me. bc honestly why else did u make this u didnt honestly think anyone 12-17 was gonna listen to ur post right?

10-15 years ago most ppl in the media diudnt even know what nonbinary meant its a completely different social landscape nowadays in terms of rights, recognition, and teen’s access to education on bigotry. most teens on tiktok or tumblr know about these subjects more than their parents do and u bringing up over a decade ago when u urself was 9-14 in the 2010s is not the same experience as those who r in the age of tiktok and twitter and modern youtube/twitch. teens online know more shit and activist have spread a lot of awareness easy to access in these decades that ppl who make dark humor jokes are aware the difference between joke and bigotry and aware of how distorted south park is on purpose. and if someone isnt and takes it at face value? yes they should stop watching and reassess their media literacy and the way they interact w/ information thats CLEARLY exaggerated. that is a failure on the teens part to watch a show meant for adults and not have critical thinking skills therefore that teen needs to be told point blank “ur stupid as fuck” then told the show is a comedy and satire not serious political discussion and they need to strop believing everything they see on tv like a dumbass and grow tf up. thats a teen yeah, and a dumbass one to be sure yeah? not every teen is like that tho and south park isnt the only reason they made bigoted remarks liek that.

saying south park introduced bigotry as funny to a lot of kids is actually just making me have to sit down for a second and look at most adult cartoons, most famous comedians, and look back at my middle school days and my current high school ones and most of the jokes kids would make. i am looking at a culture that make bigotry funny and kids who have been joking about shit like that openly for decades. its the most “think of the children!” type bs to say “hey south park specially is making it funny to be like that to kids. nothing eles kids woudlnt have done that w/out south park!” no i assure u the show definitely helped some kids become worst off but it is not solely south park that does this i have been hearing the most vile shit from kids around me for my whole life and that wasnt bc of south park its a cultural thing that south park has been born of and contributes to but is not the sole cause of and to say ppl wouldnt do that w/out south park is actually just ignorant. its funny because its forbidden and bad and punching down which r all things teens, specially young teens, love to do not bc south park made it funny specifically

the issue isnt sp bad no one watch it, the issue is ppl under the age of like 14 dont have good media literacy. the issue isnt “hey do NOT watch this show that has bad things in it” the issue is “Hey when u watch this show be aware of the issues it talks about and have urself educated on the topics and ur own stance son them bf u let a show about comedy first most shape ur opinions.” telling teens not to watch something thats incredibly popular and main stream is actually stupid ur not helping the core of the issue by painting it as an issue w/ the show when its an issue w/ the audience. teens like 16 and older can handle southpark ur old enough then to understand the difference between a joke and being a bigot. id say kids younger than that would need to be more aware of the issues they joke about and need to be educated on that stuff not forbidden from seeing it joked about and sheltered form hearing about it in blasé and rude ways bc that doesnt WORK.

south park is just going to become more enticing and appealing and then they will think ppl like U who say “teens shouldnt watch south park” w/out actually explaining “they dont have the mental capacity at that age to understand the nuance of dark humor” and not "they r stupid kids who need to be sheltered”, are wrong then will just go watch it

ESPECIALLY when u say teens who r actively watching south park r to allowed to enjoy and connect w/ the show bc u personally do not like it. like girl what. if someone whos a fan of the characters is making them queer has it crossed ur mind they may already be aware the show is bigoted in its humor and can actually CRITICALLY watch it w/out consuming all it says mindlessly. this post gives me the vibes u personally do NOT like dark humor or anything at the expense of a group which is valid! i know ppl who r sensitive or just plain uncomfortable w/ that stuff and thats fine! and hey i can be reading u wrong here and u litterly could have been well meaning and im just misinterpreting what ur saying but to ME is teenagers r not allowed to watch a show u deem too offensive. no. the answer is no to that teens can watch whatever the fuck they want and no one owes u being 100 percent pg all the time. Being straight up bigoted is NOT something south park EVER supported it makes light of everything and anything but the show in itself is first seeking to make an easy joke based off current events and has clearly show3n beign antisemitc, homophobic, racisit, sexist, ect IS bad bc the butt of the joke is never just the one discimated against but also the bigot who chose to do that(mainly cartman) and if u want op i can give u quotes and episodes but i dont think u actually want that. i think u want to see ur idea of the show and blame it for kids being cruel or making jokes out of bigotry and dont actually want to get that in fact some kids just like dark humor and need to be more educated on serious subjects

that means the issue is teens need to stop ONLY watching south park and watch other shows and be aware of social issues, but honestly? teens r also just dicks man, shielding them form south park will make them cling on to the next edgy ADULT media and then what? how does ur post help those teens stop making bigoted jokes? maybe instead of being reactionary about a form of media actually make a post that helps educate teens who dont understand the shit they talk about bc they saw it in the media and heard about it form their friends.

idk what teenager needs to hear this but please stop watching south park

[snackleggg]

Okay so I've seen au's where Merlin is born earlier and when he comes to Camelot Arthur is like a little kid but he still ends up being his manservant. Let's switch that around.

Hunith gets really sick and cant do any of the farm work anymore so she and her 7 year old son Merlin move to Camelot to live with her brother Gaius (who also happens to be a physician, and well informed on magic)

Then there is 19 year old prince Arthur, doing his thing, being a bit of a bully and this random 7 year old comes up to him. He tells him to stop, calls him a jerk and a prat and tries picking a fight. Arthur, humoring him, crouches down to be eye level with him and goes "oh yeah, and how are you going to do that?" And the little feral shit Merlin is just smirks and goes "like this" before kicking Arthur in the balls.

The guards cant even get the chance to "arrest" him because they are trying not to laugh their asses off at the pure comedy they just witnessed and a smug Merlin just slips back into the crowd. (Later when he gets back to Gaius' tower his mom asked what he was doing and just shrugs and goes "making friends")

Of course Merlin still saves Arthur's life but obviously Uther cant appoint a literal child to be his son's servant so he just gives him a honey cake as reward. So Merlin learns the valuable life lesson that saving Arthur's life = free sweets.

Doesnt even need to have Kilgharrah tell him prophecy shit (of course Kil still tries and when Merlin follows the voice he is hearing and discovers a huge dragon under the castle he is, of course, in awe. Tho when Kil starts talking about destiny and stuff Merlin gets bored, calls him an old man, and leaves. Though he still comes back and visits regularly, not for advice but because "the grouchy old dragon is lonely and who else am I gonna show all my drawings to make sure they are good before I show them to my mom and uncle???". Merlin always gossips about the latest attempt on Arthur's life with Kil)

Soon enough the castle staff and even knights and nobles just get used to this sassy and surprisingly kind feral child wandering the halls (and mostly following the prince around). Merlin does indeed sneak into council meetings, he is small and quiet enough where he can just slip in, sit in the corner, and no one notices.

The first time Merlin follows Arthur on a hunt everyone is high key stressed and worried but no matter how many times he is told to stay in the castle or who they tell to watch over him Merlin always somehow ends up just... with them on the hunt, the little gremlin.

Arthur once sees Merlin use magic to heal a bird and he is like "so THATS why this child is unnaturally impossible to get rid of and never even has a scratch on him after dangerous situations" but otherwise he tells no one and helps cover when Merlin's lack of subtly come into play.

Even as a child Merlin is still Arthur's best friend and closest advisor (bc kids are brutally honest and usually dont have prejudices yet)

Arthur still has a problem with his servants needing to switched out like every two weeks. When Merlin is finally 17 (Arthur king now and 29) he is like "I'll be your manservant since you obviously still cant take care of yourself" but Arthur is like "no no no, go read your magic books a bit more, u gonna be my court sorcerer in a few years"

Child!Merlin does not fear death, he will fist *cough*magic*cough* fight any bad guys behind the stables at dawn.

Like imagine u r the villain of the week and your on your way to go kill the king when all the torches in the hallway go out and at the end of the hallway you see this little kid giving you the dead eyed fish stare. But whatever you can just use your magic to knock them unconscious. But it doesnt work. You try again. The kid is still standing perfectly fine. Then he starts slowly walking towards you. And you are like nope, not some of this possesed kid horror movie bullshit, not today. Lol all these assassins getting traumatised by a 7 year old. Let this be a lesson, never come between a child and their sweets.

So many hijinks can come from this au

[thefanficmonster]

Power Couple

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing 

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Summary: Sean, Felix, Dave, and Joel welcome Corpse’s girlfriend to a game of Party Animals. It’s her first time playing and she has to deal with a lot more than just the controls and objectives - her boyfriend being a cute, cuddly sweetheart with ulterior motives to his clinginess.

Requested by @susceptible-but-siriusexual. Thank you so much for your request! Hope I captured what you wanted and how you wanted. Feel free to send any other requests you may have XOXO

It’s been one hell of a day. Had to correct twice as many documents as I was originally supposed to at work; found my car with a flat tire in the parking lot as I was about to go home; argued with my boss over the phone while stuck in a traffic jam. It’s been a rough twelve hours, but it has led me here and that’s what I’d rather think about.

By ‘here’ I mean I’m sitting on the couch in Corpse’s recording room, my computer in my lap, my screen displaying the screen to the game Party Animals. The suggestion was Corpse’s. He immediately picked up on my below par mood and wasted no time finding a solution to bright up the remainder of the day, shadowing the shitty portion of it. I am not what you would call a gamer. Sure I’ve played Among Us with Corpse and his friends a few times. Even that I struggle to do because I’m internally fangirling over all the people in the lobby. Yeah, dating a youtuber doesn’t mean you automatically stop gushing over the many content creators on the platform you’ve been watching for quite some time now. Corpse knows how nervous I get so he’s always near me when we play with Sean, Felix and the other. All he has to do is give me that encouraging smile and wink of his and I’m good to go. Side note: massive props to him for going easy on me in Among Us, getting teasingly called ‘simp’ by his friends in the process.

“You’ll love it.“ He promised me over and over again as the game was downloading on my computer.

“I don’t doubt that, Corpse. But I am going in completely blind and I seriously don’t wanna embarrass myself.“ I mumble a quick ‘nor you‘ under my breath, hoping he doesn’t catch it because I’m in for a pep talk if he does. 

To my dismay, he does, “Listen here, you couldn’t embarrass me even if you actively tried to do something outrageous. Most likely scenario, I’d join you in the act.” He ducks in front of the couch so we’re at eye level, his hand coming up to cup my cheek in the sweetest, most comforting gesture ever. “We’ll show em who’s the boss at stealing candy.”

I can’t help but laugh, feeling unable to express just how much this man means to me. Words can’t do the feeling justice.

“Y/N!“

“Y/N!!“

“Corpse Wife has arrived!“

Hearing all the greetings lights a flame in my chest, the warmth spreading all the way to my neck and cheeks. “Hi guys! Missed playing with you!”

“We missed you too!“ Dave, the only one of the gaming gang I’ve actually met in person, replies to me, his words along with all the others’ wrapping around me like a comfort blanket. Despite them knowing I’m a fan of theirs, they’ve always made me feel welcomed, comfortable, nothing less than them.

“You know anything about this game?“ Felix asks me.

I shake my head, almost forgetting he can’t see me, “Corpse told me it’s funny and cute. It sounds like the perfect game for me.” 

“Oh no, this is a game of survival. Survival of the fittest!“ Sean shouts excitedly, a bang following his shout I can only assume was him hitting his desk.

“I’d like to think I’m pretty fit.“ I shrug my shoulders, laughing along with the guys.

“This is the only way to find out if you actually are.“ Joel’s voice comes through my headphones in the form of a tease.

Sean mumbles quietly to himself as he’s deciding how to separate us in two teams. “Guys, a little help here. We all suck at this game, it doesn’t really matter who’s in which team.”

“Actually...“ Felix trails off, “Corpse and Y/N are the ultimate power couple in Among Us. Chances are they will be in this as well. So, the only logical move would be to...“

“I’m taking Y/N, you take Corpse.“ Sean declares. “Joel, Dave, who do you guys wanna be with?“

And the game starts. Sean, Joel and I are the Meowfia while Corpse, Felix and Dave are yet to choose a team name. We throw around snarky, cocky comments at each other, taunting the opposite team as we struggle to take the candy to our respective sides of the map.

“Don’t you dare pull that lever, Dave!“ I launch at Dave, knocking his cute avatar away from the lever, buying Joel and Sean some time to steal back the gummy bear Corpse and Felix took from us.

“Y/N! Joel is out! Help me!“ Sean is freaking out now. I ditch Dave’s unconscious body and run to Sean’s aid. 

As I’m helping him push it towards out area a member from the opposite team latches onto my avatar, weighing me down and hindering me from doing anything.

“Hug!“ Corpse laughs as he has literally turned into a koala, holding onto my avatar.

“Corpse, you know you are actually supposed to hinder Y/N, not hug her. It’s cute though, don’t get me wrong.“ Felix laughs as him and Sean continue to struggle over the gummy bear.

“Nah, his tactic’s great. I can’t do shit.“ I desperately try and shake him off, “Babe, this is unfair. I can’t even be mad at you!“ I whine, staring to panic now that Dave is back to life and Joel is nowhere to be seen.

The round is won by Felix, Dave and Corpse who, if I might add, didn’t let go of me for the rest of the game.

We switch maps, now every man for himself. We’re on the submarine, recreating the Hunger Games with cute fuzzy animals. The thought passes through my mind, causing me to giggle.

“Y/N, you sound exactly like I’d imagine your avatar to sound. You’re so cute.“ Sean’s avatar circles mine a few times as he laughs.

He’s not wrong, my pale blue puppy is indeed cute. Apparently immortal as well.

“How is Y/N still alive?! Holy shit, her and Corpse really are a power couple.“ Dave shrieks when he sees me pick up the freeze gun. “NOOO!“ He shouts, devastated by the fact I shot him, sending him straight to his death.

“Chill, Dave. It’s all cool. Nothing personal.“ I struggle to hide my laughter, “No hard feelings, right?“

“Of course not, love.“ I can tell he grits the sentence through clenched teeth.

“Aw Dave, you are such an ice guy.“ I giggle, now shooting Joel with the gun.

“Someone take that gun from her!“ Sean cries as him and Felix race up the submarine.

Suddenly, the avatar of my boyfriend again wraps itself around mine. I hadn’t seen him in a while, considering Sean knocked him into the ocean earlier in the round. 

“How are you still alive?!“ I try to spin my puppy to get him to let go but he holds on tightly. “Babe, I swear, you are cute and I love you, but this is ridiculous. How and why are you alive?”

“That’s his superpower! He never fucking dies.“ Felix laughs, letting out a yelp when he briefly slips while climbing.

“Immortals!!! Immortals!!!“ Sean breaks out into a song, a song I really like, breaking the restraints I had on my laughter.

“Drop the gun or we’re dying together.“ He says almost seriously. Even though I can only see the back of his head I know he’s grinning.

“A Titanic/Romeo and Juliet mashup? Why not? I can live with dying a double historical death.“ Even though I appear accepting of his offer, I’m still trying to set myself free.

In the end, Sean claims his first win of the game and the rest of us are dead at the bottom of the ocean. Corpse and I did indeed die a Romeo and Juliet/Titanic death, getting everyone in their feels. We make a deal to get together and play again as soon as possible and we all go our separate ways, exiting the Discord call.

*Later that night* 

After a dinner consisting of takeout and two thirds of a shitty romantic comedies, Corpse shifts from next to me, starting to get up from the couch. I am surprised to feel jolted out of a half sleep as the room is now completely silent, the TV being turned off.

“Hey where’re you going?“ I ask groggily, rubbing my sleepy eyes.

“I have some editing to do. Don’t worry, I won’t stay up too late.“ He kisses my forehead before grabbing his phone from the coffee table.

Just as he’s about to walk away, I wrap my arms around his legs. He laughs, catching onto what I’m insinuating. His chuckle brings a smile to my face and butterflies in my belly. No matter how long we date for or how much time we spend together, some things never change. 

“Payback, huh?“ He asks, the smile audible in the question. I keep my eyes shut but nod, my arms still around his legs. “Alright, you koala. You’re coming with me.”

In his recording room, he settles in his chair placing me in his lap in a way that my legs dangling off to the side, my side leaning against his chest, my face hidden in the crook of his neck. We’re both comfortable, content and relaxed.

I don’t know when exactly it happens, but all my mind has registered is a quiet ‘I love you’ and the soft touch of Corpse’s lips on my temple. I manage to reply with an ‘I love you too’ before my sleepiness consumes me, my body completely relaxing against his, the warmth of his body, his scent, the sound of his breathing making me feel safe and loved: the two feelings I want him to feel with the same intensity when I’m in his arms.

Something tells me he does.

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