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jiminrings · 4 years

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hellooo can i request a drabble of uni!au art major tae and biochem major yn? also part one of the would you series is AMAZINGGG seriously i cant wait to read more!! <3

rich kid kim

pairing: taehyung x y/n

wordcount: 5k

glimpse: tae’s cold and probably needs a friend more than he needs a model, y/n feels this nEED to take care of him, a term of enderment then a dash of emotional constipation and a sprinkle of jealousy :D

notes: thank you for the request babes!! writing this made my heart melt and aND!!! thank you omg i’m glad you like would you :((

if you squint or if you’ve read insufferable, this is most probably taehyung and his y/n!!!

taehyung is personally more than willing to pay himself out of this project

oKAY LISTEN

he’s not the proudest knowing that he comes from a rich family and he’s the only kid and he’s never really struggled for much

everything was just given to him without any hesitations whatsoever

and yeah he admits that he can nEVER admit that his pampered and luxurious lifestyle since birth has shaped him to be this way and it’s hard to unlearn these types of things

things were too easy for him and thAt’s what made it hard

tae is the farthest thing from an outcast..,.,.,.,

.,.,. but that’s him in his usual rich boi bubble of elites wherever he goes because he’s surrounded by people like him

hoseok and jimin have got to be his closest friends but of course they pursued business degrees and everyone must’ve probably saw that coming

nobody, however, expected the kim taehyung to pursue a degree based rootly on passion and even major in it

yeah that’s right what are yOU looking at???

he’s an art student and yeah he’s taking this seriously ://

do yOU have a problem with that?? do you?? no what did you say?? step the fuck up ky-

spoiler alert: people do have a problem with that

taehyung could tell that his parents did a complete 180 when they learned through jimin’s noisy-ass mouth (not even through their own son) that he’s gonna be getting an art degree

his dad’s the one who’s most especially disappointed at him because well he’s the only child and uhhhh.,.,.,, so who’s gonna inherit the company now.,.,,,

tae normally feels selfish and this time, he felt like he was being rational rather than being selfish!! this is what he passionately wants!! pls god can i be selfish oNE more time

eventually his parents had no choice because as their son explained,, having an art degree won’t keep him away from the family business at all and he could even expand it!! he doesn’t need a degree!!!

lmao he’s been putting the money he gets on the stock market ever since he was ten years old

and they had to accept it eventually because this is what HE wants and if this is the only thing that he wants... then might as well help him through it, right??

now this is another dilemma

taehyung’s applied at a regular university in which everyone’s blended together and no one really cares about who’s who

it’s not exclusive to people like him.

he submitted his requirements and his portfolios by himself!!

and he got accepted!!

he’s nOT SURE if it’s purely because of his skills and himself and not his parents’ money nor influence

whatever it is, he doesn’t want to know because if it ends up being the answer he doesn’t want?? lol he’d crawl into a hole and mope for a week and would be doomed to wear three-piece suits for the rest of his life

so anyways

yeah..,, this is one of the handful of times that taehyung is completely willing to pay himself out

this project was supposed to be easy enough as what the professor said but uH he’d like to passive-aggressively decline pls and thank you

their final project was to make a portrait

right?? easy!!

a portrait of sOMEONE IN CAMPUS,,, regardless if you know them or not

(( well of course you’d get to know them by the end because yea they’re required to show proof that they indeed met and the model did agree to be painted ))

and by the end of the project, it’s either they keep it to themselves or give it to the model!!

that should be easy, right??

...

....

...... pls say right

oh my god tae should probably drop out now so he doesn’t get to do this

rich people don’t necessarily have to be educated, right???? maybe he’ll just settle into being a himbo

he learned about the meaning of the word through urban dictionary that he tHEN only learned about like six months ago and now he gets so many things

taehyung’s not intimidated by the workload of it all -- in fact, he’s even excited about it because it helps him relax!!

what he’s intimidated about is the fact that he’s kim taehyung and there are only two possible options

either his model would be someone who knows him and would be taking every possible step to ensure that they climb the social ladder through him and they’re not even gonna be dISCREET about it

his model wouldn’t completely care about who he is and in the process belittles him upfront and tbh his hart wouldn’t be able to take that and he’s probably wipe his tears away with dollar bills

there is almost no in-between, that one he’s sure of

so why are you like this?

why are you neither of the two and why are you sO kind and go against his expectations????

do you have an ulterior motive or something????

you who’s a biochem major and is actually another building away from his own

you who’s made the initiative that you become hIS model

you who actually oFFERED and almost begged to be a part of a project that would only be for tae’s benefit

... aha

that’s about -5 points from being a cool laid-back nonchalant gal

+10 for looking like someone who’s had a massively obsessive crush on him since day one and looking like you’d lay his life for him

no but lmao actually you just learned about taehyung in a magazine

you were bored at the dentist’s and scrolled through every possible outlet in your phone and it didn’t satiate you anymore!!! so how about reading a good ol’ magazine :D

then came taehyung

it was a whole issue dedicated to him and you were probably too dedicated into reading it that this time it was you telling the dentist to wait lol

that’s as far as you knew about him

and then you learned just some weeks ago that taehyung happens to study where you also study at and that was.,., inch resting

you never really saw him before around campus because it was too big and well maybe if you put in the effort, you’d actually find him

maybe you had a tiny lil admiration for kim taehyung just from one whole issue alone you read at the dentist’s or whatever

you’ve only known about this final project situation through changbin!!!

changbin, your neighbor at the apartment next to you, who’d crash over whenever his wifi feels the tiniest bit slow

yes you did spend a little more money to upgrade your internet situation (most times it’s the router who makes all the difference) because you were so tIRED of having things slow in the middle of researching for your projects in biochem)

no you will nOT have that <3

and of course changbin’s not having your that shitty wifi either so he pushed you to get that in the first place so he can use it too lmao

he’s told you just a couple of days ago about his final project and that maybe, just maybe, he’d make it into a move for this girl that he likes

nothing’s more romantic than pleading for someone to paint ur face right

and your grade and the decision to whether you’re gonna pass or flunk and graduate or retake are relying on you mostly

and in changbin’s case it’s also hIS heart on the line so yeah no pressure at all luv

“i kinda feel bad for rich kid kim, y’know?”

“what about taehyung???”

“eW do you have a crush on him??”

“addressing someone by their name equals to a crush??????”

your banters never stop because you’re as quick-witted as him and he both loves and hates it

he loves that omg someone can keep up with him and that way he gets challenged to always have the last say!!

he hates that oh god why is he friends with someone who reminds him of himself so much how is hE gonna deal with that??

sometimes he’ll purposely argue with you to fEEL something lmao

but there’s just something here that tells him you’re a little more interested now in this flow of conversation ever since rich kid kim was mentioned

“hm, nothing. i’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a model yet.”

he dodges you in the kitchen to look for peanut butter in your cupboard and oddly... you’re not berating him for decreasing your groceries....?

what does changbin mean by that? whAt model?? model as in taehyung doesn’t have the newest model of whatever car he wants? or maybe he has a model girlfriend and-

hold on wait wHAT

taehyung has a-

“m-model?”

he looks at you weirdly but you don’t even bat an eye when he gets ahold of your marshmallow spread so that he could make another one of his s’mores sandwiches

“uhhhh model as in he doesn’t have someone to paint for our project??”

is that what you wanted to hear or,.,

you and changbin share one (1) brain cell and it SHOWS

the two of you have to open your mouths, then close, then ponder, and then do that aGAIN until the both of you could finally grasp if you were in the same page

“oh cool!! i’ll be his model then!”

“yeah but did he ask”

“it’s gonna be easy!! i’ll just tag along with you to your building”

“yeah but did he aSK”

“we’re probably gonna hit it off instantly and then you’ll have to leech off from someone else for their wifi and food and every other necessity that you already have-”

“yeah but dID HE ASK????”

long-story short: no. taehyung most certainly did not ask you to be his model.

but here you are

saying that you came a long way is a bit of a stretch because taehyung mostly turns his head the other way around when you call out to him in public

progress is still progress :D

you’re eating lunch with him at the same table and this time you’re sat beside him!! when normally he’d just walk home to his apartment (lol that’s not allowed but you won’t be surprised to know that he has a free pass) and eat!!!

before that, taehyung would gLARE at you until you stop asking to sit with him in his table

yea he gets a bit lonely at time because jimin and hobi aren’t with him and hE’S the outcast but he won’t do anything about it,, just scroll through his phone while he eats and tune everyone out

you figured that maybe it’s changbin always linked with you in lunch because your schedules just matched up thAt perfectly like it does with tae’s

hee-hee so you might have elbowed him until he begrudgingly agreed to be tolerable, keep atleast four feet of distance from you, and not call tae rich kid kim

spoiler alert: taehyung doesn’t really care about whatever you do because doing those changes with changbin did nOT work at all

however

H O W E V E R

taehyung doesn’t know at all how you’ve wormed your way into his heart!!

what seem to be cold to you is his warmest he’s ever been in such a new environment and outside of his usual comfort bubbles!!!

it’s like you occasionally stealing the food from his plate when you have the same thing is the equivalent of h*lding h*nds with him

you putting your leg over his before he pushes it after five seconds mUST be the equivalent to marriage

wait he’s lying

taehyung does know how you’ve wormed your way to his heart

“hi! i’m y/n! :D”

ok u are a little bit sweaty and out of breath from doing all that fast-paced walking for the past ten minutes

your new shoes that you still need to break into further aren’t helping your situation in the slightest bit

honestly? this is all changbin’s fault <3

he unknowingly gave you the sign that you were looking for

if he says yeah five times with five minutes?? okay yeah you’re definitely looking for kim taehyung and offering yourself to become his model

you don’t wanna sound weird but you feel sorry for him and you wanna help him :((

he’s not helping you tho because he has long legs underneath those trousers and it looked like he wouldn’t budge at all not unless you jogged and stopped right in front of him

“hi! i’m y/n!! :D”

“...”

“.....”

tae’s a bit... perplexed

because who’s THIS entity and why are you standing in front of him

...

....

“bye y/n.”

he wants to exit from this situation because oh my god??

why r u like this

he didn’t ASK for your name!!

and he doesn’t even know you and giving him your name honestly won’t do anything and he doesn’t get what’s your motive and-

“oh c’mon!! you didn’t even shake my hand :((”

he feels even more lost as he tries to wrap his head around that uh.....

you uh.... you wanted a handshake??

.....

tae doesn’t even hide his annoyance because it’s clear as day!!!

he’s blatantly tilting his head at you rudely with a blank stare omg take the hint pLEASE

realizing it now you mAY have came on too strong to taehyung that looks confused as ever

“hi, i’m y/n.”

changbin’s by one of the lockers taking pics of you beaming at taehyung and him scowling down to show you later how dumb you look and how you shouldn’t do this at all

okay LISTEN

his personality trait is to immediately assume the worst out of every scenario possible and that way when something slightly less worse happens? that’s a win babie ;D

he became ur friend in the first place because you heard him yelling since he’s at the door right next to yours and you could hEAR him throwing things around as he cusses his laptop

yeah he cusses his laptop what about it??

if you close your eyes hard enough, you could hear him throw his router against the wall (you later learned that he was so close to finishing his digitalization but then his laptop decided to die) before punching the air

(( the friendship started when you knocked vERY gently and offered him to borrow your laptop even if you aren’t done with all your homework ))

((( changbin thought at first that u were such an organized and too-friendly social butterfly who’s a kiss-ass to everyone but now he thinks ur the coolest person ever and he treasures you more than life itself )))

although, taehyung’s a lot more vicious and closed-off and critical than changbin

he narrows his gaze at you as you introduce yourself for the second time before merely clicking his tongue

“ok cool”

is that uhm

is that IT good sir

“you’re not,” you’re dancing around your words and being careful to not let a pout grace your lips at the sheer lack of enthusiasm, “gonna introduce yourself to me??”

you got a reaction alright

taehyung sCOFFS and that’s the loudest he’s ever been with you in the span of two minutes

“you followed me for ten minutes just to tell me your name. kinda seems like you already know mine if you do that, no?”

this is why you took up biochem instead of law

how do the lawyers not break down???

why does phoenix wright make it seem SO easy?? especially when he’s spoken to in a confrontal tone???

oh god taehyung broke you already

not to be rude but uh what do you wANT

can you get it over already??

“o-oh! uhm i was wondering if i could uHm,” you sound ridiculous now that you think about it and this is perhaps one of the only times you feel embarrassed, “volunteer to be your model for your project?”

hmm

was that a wrong answer,,,

sHOULD YOU HAVE SAID THAT??

“are you in my class?”

taehyung asks and he’s finally said a sentence to you!!! omg

you’re quite shocked so he had to click his tongue to get you to answer

“no, actually!! i’m a biochem major and-...”

that’s all it takes before he hums and nods his head

and for some reason taehyung looks at you like you’re pREY

“are you a stalker?”

okay wait holy fuck wHAT

you know what

you took a sip from changbin’s coffee half an hour ago but why are you only choking on it nOW

you’re positively sputtering and now ur pressured bc tae thinks you’re a stalker!!! a damn stalker!!

“looked at you long enough. i don’t need a sketch artist and i could just-”

no no no pls no

this meeting is going downhill very quickly

“oh my god taehyung i’m nOT a stalker okay!!!”

that shuts him up because your voice is so firm and okAY then how do u explain this stalker smh ://

throughout the whole time you’re talking about changbin being an art major and also your neighbor and everything in between, tae has such a neutral expression that you feel so intimidated

“-and that’s what!! i’m not taking advantage of you or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking i guess? i swear!!”

he listened and well if he’s being honest,,, okay yea you did make sense and he does know changbin

“okay then. i’ll think about it.”

“are you gonna give me your number???”

it’s either you’re so forward or he’s just not used to being caught off-guard

WHICH FUCKING ONE

“what for?”

it’s been so long ever since someone asked taehyung for his number

usually in galas and any other socialite gatherings you could think of, everyone’s number would just be in your phone automatically and you won’t even rEMEMBER how it got there in the first place

better yet, it’s been so long since he went back to his usual routine lifestyle of being himself

his last gala was two weeks ago and tae had to keep looking at his phone to study pdfs and whatever clear pictures he can get of his reviewers back at home because he had a test tomorrow morning

“so you could text me where we’re gonna meet so you could paint me, silly!!”

okay wOAH there

“i didn’t even say that you’d be my model????”

“lol but you were thinking it huh”

that’s it

taehyung has nO choice but to paint you if he wants to finish this project and graduate and have something of a thicker paper to flaunt

it came as a shock to him that hE took your offer and he could only imagine its effect on you

not to brag but tae didn’t even have to sweat for a little because it’s yOU who came to him with this offer!! not him!!

tae lives in the classiest apartment here in uni and everyone probably knows that

much to his insistence that he doesn’t want anyone from uni going outside his apartment, he had to take an L and invite you over

he wouldn’t risk doing his work in any place else because he doesn’t want anyone thinking and getting the wrong idea!!

speaking of, he’s regretting it now because you seem to be too happy being in his space

you’re pointing around and being awed at every possible thing!!!

what??? is this ur first time seeing a rattan hanging chair :// or a massive couch?? or a canvas painting of something so beautiful?? all of that in what’s supposed to be a student’s one apartment??? christ y/n get yourself together

“so what do you want me to do?? where do i sit oR do i stand instead?? i’m gonna need you to know that-...”

“nothing.” taehyung deadpans before he gets his camera so he could get digital shots as well if ever he needs an extra touch when it comes to his final product

the gears in your head are going bRRR and you’re gonna have to ask him to elaborate but taehyung already sets the pace

“nothing. just be your rEALLY annoying self and pretend i’m not here.”

normally you don’t take his words to heart but this one just hits a little close to home bc it’s early in the morning and taehyung already finds you intolerable

“by pretend, do you mean-...”

“up to you. are you more annoying around me or no?”

how did he read your MIND

tae got the thoughts in your head word per word and you’re so amazed at that because fUcK you originally thought that he’s good at bluffing his way up

click!

it’s you smiling at him

no you’re beaming at him

and you’re in front of his morning-lit curtains and you’re against the light

the portrait itself is already visually appealing and satisfying and man the shadows!!! the value!!!! they’re so raw and dreamy and this is exactly his style!!!

it was just a one-take wonder as soon as he took a picture of you!!! and he may have you to hold that position if he needs the push!! he just needs to translate it to canvas with his own language and emotions and then he’s dONE!!

you’re a pain in the ass

you laugh and you move too much

taehyung had you to to revisit that pose and hold it and you wouldn’t stop giggling bc you were too proud that you did THAT!

you also ask too many things that even hE doesn’t have the answers to

how is he supposed to know if red string lovers exist when you went into a spiel just because you saw a red tube of paint???? and why is he saying his opinions on such trivial things when he has his final project to take care of???

and how is he supposed to know why YOU’RE here hanging out with him instead of finishing your own final project

jk maybe it’s the L word but you’re gonna subdue that as much as possible since taehyung looks like he’d leave you by yourself with any chance that he gets

and you even call him terms of endearment!!! nicknames!! pet names!! names that you’d call someone who’s familiar to you and you probably l*ve!!!

angel

that’s what you call him :))

“why do you call me that?”

“because you look like one”

“and how would yOU know what angels look like??”

“because if they were to exist then you’d probably look like one!!”

“but-”

“ok that’s one minute no more questions taehyung <3″

tae just provides you with all the conviction you need to take care of him without even knowing

not in a maternal type of instinct type of way, but rather in a sPECIAL someone type of way

you find yourself caring for him mOre than you ever could for any regular friend you have!!

you just throw a whole loaf of bread to changbin and call it a day

but for tae??? you go above and beyond!!

“did it ever hit you that rich kid kim never really introduced himself to you?”

oh right....

changbin points out one day and you could see where he was getting at

for some reason he always knew what was in your mind at any given time and sometimes it’s to your disadvantage

you seem to be growing on taehyung though!!

he tolerates you better now!!

sometimes he’ll find you loveable even

he likes having someone around and you’re the perfect contender

if he decides to not talk too much, then you fill up the white noise!!

if he wants you to shut up?? then yOU shut up but of course not without babbling for a little

he’s opened up but with some reservations

some reservations that you don’t mind but it’s normal that you feel sometimes left out, y’know??

because it’s been a good month since you and taehyung properly interacted but he still resents you as much if you think about it

“hey angel!!”

“what is it-...”

taehyung looks up from his meal that he’s been poking at his fork because this has to be the fourth time you call out to him

so he turns to look at you and-

uhm

there seems to be a misunderstanding

you weren’t calling HIM

you were calling out to some other guy that iSN’T him

that’s seungmin!!! omg you haven’t seen him in so long and he just happened to pass by your lunch table!!!

apparently he has something to talk to you about which is why you’re standing up and leaving tae all alone on the table

seungmin’s smile is adorable as always and he gets you in a pretty good mood!!

oh god

dear gOD

what is taehyung feeling in his chEST???

tae’s grip on his fork is starting to get pRETTY tight

and if he’s aware enough, his right eye’s twitching and he’s practically scoffing under his breath

why tf would you call him that

WHO is angel and why is it nOT him anymore????

what he’s feeling is just unexplainable and it tastes something like betrayal

“who’s he?”

he quizzes you as soon as you get back to your table and you don’t waver one bit because you know he’s been asking questions recently

“oh that’s just seungmin!! we were childhood friends then he just transferred here awhile-...”

there’s a bitter taste on his tongue and it shows up in his face and you’re not even paying attention to him!!

“really? thought i was him for a second.”

ok now that got you to stop eating

????

why is he acting weird

taehyung looks even more irked because you look sO oblivious right now

“do you call everyone angel?”

o-oh where is this going

“uhm-”

you’re not even finished and to be honest you’re quite lost and taehyung sCOFFS you to the next century

“‘course you do.”

taehyung angrily finishes his meal and you leave it at that because ok maybe he had a bad day?? and he’s just taking it out on you??

and well tae DOESN’T want you to leave it at that

he wants you to ASK him why he’s mad!!! he’s passive-aggressive and it’s getting unhealthy but he’d rather choke than have him spill whatever he’s feeling

the next few days, taehyung avoids you like his LIFE depended on it

you’re not really bothered by it because he has his days, but this one’s just getting out of control

“are you giving me a time-out or something??”

lmao what did u do now

you nudge him when you see him by changbin’s apartment to borrow an easel even though he’s already got it by his apartment

yeah he’s mad at you and he’s petty but maybe he wants to see you again

tae’s giving you silent treatment and you don’t even question him for it

you don’t bother!!

you’re letting him do whatever he wants as always and he dOESN’T like it anymore!!!

he feels like he’s gonna combust at any given time and you don’t give a shit and he feels like yOU should give a shit because you always do!!

you always hover and worry around him but wHY does he feel like you’re not doing it anymore??

why does he yEARN FOR YOU???

it’s quite an an early night for you

you love biochem but sometimes it kicks your ass and it makes you retch at the mention of all-nighters nowadays!! bc they used to be fun but now doing them because you nEED to?? no thx

you’re already in your pajamas and you’re all washed up!! what could changbin need from you at 9 in the evening??

there’s an urgent knocking on your door and you resist the need to groan because you were about to really knock yourself out!! you need to get back all the rest you’ve wasted over your own final project

is that-

“taehyung?”

the man in question is in his huge yellow hoodie that swallows him up every time and he looks positively spent

his hair’s shaggy and his eyes are glazed and there’s a pink tint to his cheeks :((

he’s holding a baby hydroflask in his hands and you’re pretty sure that’s alcohol in there lol

“don’t call me taehyung!!”

he immediately snaps and you’re lost as aLWAYS

did he really just walk all the way to your complex to snAp at you??

“i’m not taehyung,” he frowns deeply and that’s when you’re a bit more mesmerized, “i’m angel.”

is this what you think it is??

your no.1 deflection move is to laugH and you’re doing that rn

something about this whole situation tickles you funny and you’re not sure what to feel about it

“i like your bottle!! i should get one for myself!!”

he could see right through you though

he ignores your stOOpid statements and goes to hold your hands :((

“no, no. i’m your angel. i-i’m your taehyung, right??”

listen

taehyung is the most confusing being you know and he’s so emotionally constipated that he outperforms changbin but this one,,,

this just feels so different

he’s hugging you

he’s embracing you

he’s burrowing his face to your neck and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t ever imagine what this would feel like :(((

he positively 100% might be in love with you

and you positively 100% might be in love with him too

he’s fishing for your hand by your side to put in between your bodies as he shakes it and that’s because he doesn’t wanna let go of the hug

:((((

you’re melting and this what heaven must feel like :((((

“h-hi. name’s kim taehyung and i’m yours.”

#I SPENT A LOT OF TIME ON THIS PLS LEAVE FEEDBACK PLS AND THANK YOU :D #taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung imagine #taehyung imagines #taehyung x reader #taehyung x y/n #taehyung drabble #taehyung drabbles #taehyung au #taehyung oneshot #bts taehyung #bts imagine #taehyung fic rec #taehyung fic recs #bts fic recs #kim taehyung imagine #requested drabbles

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jincherie · 4 years

Text

tentacledipity | six

➛pairing: jimin x reader ➛genre: alien au, space au, soulmate au, wanted au, smut, light angst ➛rating: m ➛words: 9k ➛warnings: cheeky shenanigans on the outskirts of the palace grounds, smut, vaginal fingering, light nipple play, squirting,light dirty talk, light angst ➛notes: I cannot believe this one long scene is fucking 9k, I’m out of control. Anyway! Here’s the relief you’ve all been waiting for!! There aren’t any tentacles yet but it will be worth it when they finally arrive FJBHGHV. p.s. this does have a read more!

This tale starts, as any good fiction does, with a girl crash landing on a foreign planet. And, like any good fiction, it follows a theme of serendipitous happening, and tentacles. Behold, serendipity and tentacles— or dare we call it…. tentacledipity.

— posted; 30.04.2020 // ↞ prev. || six || next ↠

In the entirety of your life, you’d probably been truly nervous approximately… three times.

The first time was when you were a child. On a trip to the store with your guardian at the time, you’d wondered off to the section that had all of the rows of sweets and candies in clear boxes with scoops so that you could make your own mixed bag. Even when young, you were apparently still very self-indulgent at your core, and a little too quick to entertain the urges flitting through your gut. Urges that were also a little too quick for your brain to catch and filter them. You loved candy, or more specifically you loved Purple Planets, something like a gobstopper that changed flavours with each layer of the candy that wore down in your mouth. These little candies were the equivalent of magic in your eyes, and the second you caught sight of them in that row you wanted one. Of course, you’d wondered too far from your guardian and they weren’t nearby for you to ask them. That was when you got the urge, the sinful little whisper in the back of your mind that maybe you could just sneak one—taking a single candy couldn’t hurt anyone, could it? You quickly decided that no, it couldn’t, and reached in and swiped one of the orbs with nimble hands. You threw it in your mouth straight away, and when you looked up you met eyes with a cranky-looking older woman that had evidently been staring at you the whole time. She’d leaned over the boxes and whispered to you, “You’re going to go to jail now. The guards are on their way.”

Understandably, you’d run away to find your guardian after that, too young and trusting of adult authority to realise that woman was just being nasty and old. You’d been so nervous while leaving the store, clinging to your guardian, that you’d nearly passed out. Of course, no one was waiting to arrest you outside the store like you feared, and once you were on your way home you decided you hated old people because they’re mean and liars.

The second time you truly felt nervous was when you were leaving your home planet for the first time. By that point you’d become more than disillusioned with Earth, but still… you worried that leaving would be a decision you’d regret, and that the life in store for you beyond its atmosphere wouldn’t be anything like you hoped and dreamed. You were also, understandably as a first-time flyer, nervous that something would go wrong as you left the planet and the ship would blow up, or something along those lines. That, of course, didn’t happen—and you quickly decided to never be nervous about anything like this again because you really didn’t like the feeling.

Which brought you to the third time you’d ever felt decidedly nervous—which, incidentally, happened to be right now.

You were standing outside Jimin’s room, impressed with yourself that you managed to find it but unable to enjoy the pride for the nerves currently rioting in your stomach. Why you were nervous, you couldn’t quite pinpoint—you were reluctant to even attempt it because you had a feeling that you weren’t going to be too fond of the reason you unearthed.

You had no idea what he’d called you here for – possibly part of the cause for your nerves – and so hadn’t known exactly how to dress. It was a hot, humid night though, something that persisted even despite the breeze that filtered through spacious halls and bare windows. So you’d simply worn one of the singlets you’d brought with you to this planet (a nice change from the usual high neckline of kelkie dress) and some of the loose, satiny pants that have slits up the side of the legs, all the way to just below your hip. You’d assured yourself it was a practical choice and not just one you made because your most base instinct is to seduce a certain alien.

You also had to do some guesswork on what was meant by ‘midmoon’, and went with the assumption that it was like midday but for night time—so midnight. You really hoped you weren’t too wrong with this one because if you were late you had a very strong feeling that Jimin wouldn’t let it go for a long time. Which was something you decidedly didn’t need, considering how pissed he’d seemed earlier this evening.

This, you’d realised, was probably a big factor in the rare appearance of your nerves—apart from the fact that Jimin had never been truly angry at you before, you also had no idea what had pushed him so far earlier that he looked so pissed. He was angry and had called you to be at his room at midnight and you had no idea why. You decided that just this once you couldn’t blame yourself for being nervous, especially when you recalled how many times you’d joked about finally making the kelkie snap. You sincerely hoped that this wasn’t karma, but you weren’t feeling too optimistic about it considering how much she’d been riding your ass lately.

A while ago you’d turned your gaze to the window in the hall that opened onto Jimin’s gardens, wanting a distraction and finding it in the luminescent foliage that glows beneath the moonlight. You didn’t realise just how out of it you were, standing there staring into the untamed beauty of Kilkea’s flora, until a voice sounded beside you and you honest to god almost jumped right out of your skin.

“You’re on time. Good, I won’t have to track you down.”

“Holy FUCK, Jimin!” you whirled around, hand flying to your chest and wide eyes finding him quickly in the almost-dark. Your cheeks heated at the squeak you’d let out in fright before, and then further at the way the alien’s eyes were boring into you, dark and swirling. His gaze raked across your collarbones and then up the length of your neck before it settled and met your own, a trail of prickling heat rising in its wake across your skin. “Please don’t scare me like that, humans can die of fright, you know.”

His brows rose, the intensity of his eyes lightening slightly and allowing you to breath. “I did not know,” he murmured, taking a step closer and sending your nerves haywire once more. “I will keep it in mind, petal.”

You tried not to watch his mouth as he spoke, but his pillowy lips proved too much for you to resist, especially when he was this close. Swallowing, you tore your eyes away and attempted to get some sort of control back in this situation.

“So, uh…” You began, trying to take a step away as discreetly as possible. You weren’t as successful as you might have hoped, his eyes tracking the movement easily. “Why did you call me here? At this time? I’m sorry about the whole, uh… thing, earlier. It wasn’t on purpose, I promise. That bastard Seokjin kicked my stool—”

Up until you mentioned Seokjin, Jimin’s expression remained so neutral that you might have been inclined to believe that he’d forgotten, or at least forgiven, the incident entirely. As soon as the other male’s name fell from your lips, though, something like irritation flitted across Jimin’s features. As soon as you noticed it, you snapped your mouth shut; you decided you probably shouldn’t push your luck too much tonight. You know, for survival reasons.

“There is something I have to do,” he said, cryptically. His brow quirked and in the next second he was turning on his heel and beginning to stride away. “And since you made such a mess of helping out earlier, I figured that you may as well make yourself useful where I can see you. Come, this way. We’re going outside the palace.”

You were confused and also kind of turned on at how bossy he was being; hastily you started after him, attempting to keep up as best as you can. True to his word, he was leading you in the direction of one of the exits that sits in the back of the palace, near the kitchens.

“What do you—uh, I mean we, have to do that we have to leave the palace?” You asked, arms swaying as you walked. He had a quick stride tonight, not as attentive as he usually was to how fast he was going in comparison to you. You feared that by the time you reached your destination, wherever that may be, you’d be a dripping, sweaty mess.

Jimin hummed, as though he was pondering whether to give you the answer or leave you hanging; you liked to think you were getting better at reading him, but you wouldn’t put any money on it. He turned his head slightly, eyes catching your own over his shoulder—if it weren’t for the magnetic draw they currently had to them then you might have been hypnotised by the shimmering mauve colour of his marks instead.

Actually, there was a lot about him tonight that threatened to distract you completely. His arms were out, sleeveless silken shirt hugging each curve and dip of the muscles in his back; the material of his pants did a fantastic job of emphasising his behind, too. The last one was almost your undoing when you were so focused on your observation that you nearly missed the words he threw your way.

“A lot of the plants on this planet present a beautiful front during the daytime hours, but some only truly bloom beneath moonlight.” Jimin turned the next corner that approached the second he finished speaking, almost losing you in the process. You had to hurry to catch up to him, glimpsing an amused quirk of his lips as you did so. Bastard, now he’s just being a pain. “There are some fruit we need to harvest for some of the dishes on the menu for the celebration. They sit on the furthest reaches of the grounds, almost outside of them, and the fruit are only revealed at night.”

“Oh,” you said, thoughts rushing to catch up before getting caught on one thing in particular. You wondered, did this mean there would be pies on the menu? Oh, you hoped so. The chefs in the palace kitchens really knew how to make good desserts, and you didn’t doubt they could take any ingredients they wanted and turn it into a mouthwatering dish. Gods, you were so excited already that you swore you just felt your stomach rumble.

You followed Jimin out of the palace and onto the grounds, the two of you finding one of the stone paths and proceeding down it. To your credit, you didn’t bother him all that much, for once. He seemed to notice, if the curious looks he was shooting over his shoulder every time you were silent for more than a few minutes were anything to go by.

Although, to be fair, it wasn’t just your fantastic self-restraint that you had to thank for your sudden ability to shut up for more than a few minutes at a time; you were, for a majority of the walk, caught up in looking at the scenery around you. Just as you mused earlier, you didn’t think you’d ever get sick of looking at the environment here. The luminescent hues and hypnotic patterns that trail along branches and swirl across leaves and petals; it’s breathtaking, and you’d never get used to it.

Despite the fact that you’d actually listened earlier and therefore knew that you were heading to the edge of the palace grounds, you were still surprised by how far out the two of you were venturing at this time of night. You weren’t scared, had no reason to be, and your surroundings were actually illuminated nicely by moonlight and the glow cast from crystals and stones that line the edge of the path, so you didn’t have to worry about stumbling or anything like that. It added to the magic of the moment, if anything.

You thought it couldn’t get any better, or any more beautiful, than this, but you were quickly proven wrong when you trailed after Jimin around a curve in the path and came upon a dead-end of sorts. You audibly gasped at the sight before you, rooted to the spot in awe—you don’t even notice the weight of a gaze on you. “Oh my gosh… it’s so pretty…”

In front of you was a clearing of sorts that backed onto a looming cliff face, lush shrubbery peaking over the ridge, the descent covered in thick, curling vines that glowed turquoise and emerald beneath the moonlight and danced jubilantly in the breeze. The flowers that bloomed across the cliff were rosy, petals curling back like lilies and speckled with bioluminescent blue, but at the very centre of the flowers was a fruit that you instantly longed to put in your mouth. It appeared like a blackberry, but supersized—it was plump and juicy looking, and if you had to guess you’d say it would probably be about the size of your hand.

Surprisingly enough, the fruits weren’t the first thing to catch your attention. No, that was the waterfall that split the cliff face to the right, shimmering waters flowing into a large, deep lake at the base. Black pebble-like stones lined the shore, and larger obsidian chunks jutted into the water along its girth. The way the water danced beneath the moonlight almost had you well and truly hypnotised, if it weren’t for the sound of Jimin’s voice breaking through your thoughts.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it.” He hummed, and you didn’t realise he’d begun to walk away until you turned and caught him moving to the side. Any questions you might have had as to why were quickly answered when you saw him procure two woven baskets from a weathered table by the cliff. He turned back and halted when he saw you in the same position as before. “Come on, petal, these aren’t going to pluck themselves into our baskets.”

Cheeks flushing for some reason unbeknownst to you, you hurried over to take one of the baskets in his hold, following him when he moved to the part of the cliff closest to the table and furthest from the lake. Well, you decided that you didn’t really have any reason to be so nervous earlier. Yet another reason to banish the emotion from your being.

“These are pippura,” Jimin informed you when you approached him, looking to make sure that you were listening. You offered him a bright, shit-eating grin to reassure him and he rolled his eyes before turning back to the vines. You caught the way his lips had quirked before he did, though, and filed it away in your victory drawer for later gloating. “They only grow on cliff faces near running water—we are lucky enough to have such a place as this on the grounds. If we didn’t, then we would have to venture much further to procure some.”

“Are they special?” you found yourself asking, swinging the basket around your wrist idly and then stopping immediately when he sent you a warning glance. “I mean, are they important for celebrations?”

“They are used in a lot of traditional dishes that feature in celebrations such as this one,” Jimin confirmed, muscles of his back shifting as he reached to grab one of the fruits hanging a little above his head. “You will be happy to know that many of those dishes are desserts.”

He was right—you were happy to hear that. You couldn’t stop the stupid, excited grin from slipping onto your face at the thought of all the delicious possibilities you were going to be able to try for the first time. If these fruits tasted as good as they looked, then you were going to be in for a good time.

Jimin might have been somewhat tense at the beginning of this little venture, but as the two of you went about plucking the vines bare of their fruits and filling your baskets with their bounty, he seemed to ease into himself a little, growing a little more playful and a little more sassy. Which is to say, he returned to the Jimin you knew and loved. Of course, the second you noticed this, you were unable to help yourself from resuming your usual shithead antics. You poked and prodded at him playfully with a few verbal jabs, all of which either got you a small snort and a grin, or a look loaded with tension and restraint. It was exhilarating—you didn’t realise just how much you’d missed this! Granted, it hadn’t been all that long since you’d been a thorn in Jimin’s side, but you were a simple girl who enjoyed the simple things in life.

It was still a humid night, and although the breeze did help some in keeping you from overheating, you still found yourself casting longing looks towards the water behind you. Gods, it had been so long since you last swam—now that the idea was in your head, you couldn’t get it out. Of course, that idea followed the path in your brain that most thoughts take these days, and your gaze flicked from Jimin, to the water, and then back to Jimin. No… you shouldn’t. You only just got back in his good graces, you didn’t fancy another near death experience today. But still…

You couldn’t rid the thought from your head, trying not to let your scheming show on your face. Jimin was a lot sturdier and a lot stronger than you, so the only way you’d even be able to get him in the water by surprise would be to full-body tackle him. You didn’t think you’d come out of that unscathed. Still… the longer you stewed in the humid air, the weaker you found yourself becoming to the idea. By this point, you knew you were going to end up going for a midnight swim in that lake, it was just a matter of whether you were going to be able to convince Jimin. Well, admittedly your definition of ‘convince’ was becoming looser by the minute, so the nature of Jimin’s impending entrance into the lake was, at this point, very subject to change. There were a number of scenarios playing out in your mind’s eye.

It was when your basket was nearing overflowing, and you grabbed one last fruit a little too hard and landed yourself with a hand covered in sticky berry juice, that you had an idea. The juices were an odd, shimmery dark blue and seemed eager to stain, just like the berries you knew from earth. Fantastic. You shuffled closer to Jimin, who had become so enraptured in the task by this point that he didn’t even pay you any mind. You were planning on pretending to trip, but karma had its kiss for you and you ended up actually tripping on a rock on your way to him, like a loser. As regrettable as it was, it did get the job done all the same.

“Oh shoot—sorry!” As would be the natural instinct of any red-blooded woman, you’d reached for Jimin’s bicep when you fell and ended up bursting the fruit against it, spilling its juices all over him. You did feel a little bad, despite the fact this had been your plan all along, but you were more surprised when instead of recoiling like you’d expected, Jimin had whipped around and attempted to catch you from tumbling to the ground instead. You didn’t have time to relish in the resulting flutter of your heart, because he quickly realised what you’d spilt on him and proceeded to send you an exasperated look.

“Are all humans such trouble? You are almost as clumsy as Namjoon,” he remarked, but you caught the twinkle of amusement in the darkness of his eyes as he righted you to your feet.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” you informed him, before pulling out your most innocent smile. “And at least there’s a lake here to wash off in!”

Jimin’s eyes flicked back over his shoulder, taking in the body of water nestled against the cliff. He hummed for a moment, before shrugging and letting you go to place his basket down and make his way over to the pebbled shore. “I wouldn’t need to wash off if you had watched where you were walking, petal.”

You rolled your eyes, watching for a moment as he slipped his boots off, placing them by one of the rocks wedged into the shore and proceeding to roll his pants up before stepping into the water. You snapped yourself out of your staring—now was the time to strike!

“Is it cold?” you asked, trying not to betray your intentions as you slipped your own shoes off and began to creep over. He was bending slightly, trying to scoop some water into his palms, and if you had to hold yourself back from being a bastard a second longer you were going to combust.

“Of course not, it’s lovely,” he muttered, somewhat absentmindedly. His marks shimmered neutral blue as his fingers swirled through the water. Now that you knew you weren’t going to make him freeze to death by pushing him in, you had no qualms acting on the urge that had been bothering you for the better part of the last ten minutes.

“Oh, good,” you remarked, before taking a moment to accept the very real possibility of death after this. As soon as you were at peace with it, you disengaged your rational thought machine and enacted your plan. Quick as you could, you darted across the grass and planted your hands on Jimin’s butt with all your strength (not! For the reason one might be thinking! It was a purely strategic move to make him most unbalanced), miraculously succeeding in pushing him off his feet and, subsequently, into the water.

“Y/N—!”

The way he just barked your name in shock made you as excited as it did scared for you life—although, if you were being honest, the line between those two had been getting more and more blurred lately. Tumbling into the rippling waters of the lake he went, deep enough where he fell that for a moment he was completely submerged. You couldn’t help the laugh that tore from you at the sight, but it quickly tapered into an alarmed scream as he burst back to the surface, absolutely drenched, and sent you a murderous look.

You’d been intending to get in right after him, but perhaps it would be more prudent to run while you still could—

“You little—” Jimin’s sputtered words were all the warning you got before he launched towards you, tearing through the water and up the shore much, much faster than you had ever anticipated. You yelped, spinning on your heel and scrambling across the pebbles, stumbling in your attempts to flee before he reached you. Of course, as you knew from the second he locked eyes on you after exiting the water, you hadn’t stood a chance of getting away; you would never be a match for his sheer speed and strength. You barely got three steps in before two strong hands snapped around the small of your waist, water seeping into your shirt where his fingers pressed into the material.

“You are such a pain,” he chastised, twisting you and throwing you over his shoulder so quickly that it almost made you dizzy.

“Aw, come on, it was an accident! I’m sorry!” you lied through your teeth, scrabbling for a grip on the drenched shirt that was sticking to his every line and curve like a second skin. “Let’s be rational about this—”

Smack!

You yelped, back curving slightly as your hand flew to your ass in shock, the likes of which was now smarting as a result of the firm smack he’d just delivered. Your entire face flushed with heat, brain flatlining as the raven-haired alien carried you back towards the lake; the sight of the grass growing further and further away, along with your chances of survival, was very condemning.

“Be quiet and accept the consequences of your actions like a good girl, petal,” Jimin said, voice so low and raspy it was almost a purr; you couldn’t see his marks from this angle but you were dying to know what colour flushed across them when he said that. You felt your stomach drop and butterflies swarm to replace it, giddy anticipation tingling up your spine. You didn’t know if you were in a place emotionally where you could deal with being this horny right now.

You made one last attempt at pleading for mercy, “I didn’t know that you’d fall in! I thought you had more balance than that! It’s not my fault youAAAH—”

Evidently, Jimin was not in a merciful mood. He didn’t even wait for you to finish talking when he reached mid-shin in the water and promptly threw you from his shoulder and into the depths. It happened so quickly you could do little more than yelp before the water cut you off and you were sinking below the surface, the lake so cool against your overheated skin that you almost let out a blissful sigh before catching yourself just in time. Your feet found the smooth, pebbled bottom and you propelled yourself back up, breaking the surface with an affronted gasp. “Hey! That was rude! Do we even know how dirty the water is?”

At this point you were just being annoying, but he simply rolled his eyes before trapping your own in his gaze, the heat contained in the dark pools making you shudder. He began moving towards you, striding back into the lake like a predator, so smoothly that the most the water did in response to his entrance was ripple around his legs. “It’s not dirty,” he informed you, a sly look crossing his features for the barest second. “There is a certain type of algae in here that means it is self cleaning—actually, the algae is part of the reason why the pippura vines grow here.”

You launched yourself backwards as he grew closer, spouting off little tidbits of information like he wasn’t currently in the process of cornering you in the lake; your arms couldn’t seem to propel you fast enough, because each second you spent splashing about frantically he gained on you. By the time he was about a metre away from you, the water was up to his ribs and he looked like he was preparing to pounce. So, you did the only logical thing you could think of in that moment, and used your legs to kick a massive splash of water in his face.

It smacked him dead on, drenching his hair once more and making him sputter, hands coming up to wipe water out of his eyes. His marks shifted rapidly, from rose to teal to petal pink and then back again. You didn’t know what it meant, but you knew your time was running out.

“y/n,” he said, voice low as he flicked water from his face and levelled you with a heated look, lashes wet and sticking together. “Didn’t I just tell you to be a good girl?”

His words made your stomach flip and a shiver roll down your spine, and yet you were too proud to let it show. Instead, you offered him an innocent expression and a flippant, “Oops?”

That seemed to set him off.

You spent the next few minutes cackling as he attempted to grab you, apparently much less graceful in the water with slippery pebbles beneath his feet than he was on land. Something about games with a chase, like tag, just made your blood sing— and from the glimpse you got of his lively expression as he tailed you through the water, the feeling was mutual. You didn’t know how long you managed to evade him before he caught you, but it was long enough that your pride remained safe by the time his hands landed on your shoulders and you were promptly dunked beneath the surface. When you returned for air, you splashed him for cover and made a break for it once more. Fun, it was so much fun it felt like you were floating in your elation.

Every time you would just barely manage to slip from his grasp with a mad giggle, you’d hear a laugh of his own tumble into the air, the sound downright melodic and so decadent against your ears you immediately did everything you could to hear it again. This was a side of him that you’d hand to wrangle out with your bare hands, but damn if it wasn’t worth it to see the way his eyes shone and disappeared into crescents with his smile.

Of course, though you were incredibly gifted in many areas (not to toot your own magnificent horn) stamina sadly wasn’t one of them. Jimin might have been engineered for speed, agility and athletic grace, but you most definitely weren’t. It was only a matter of time before you grew too tired to continue fleeing as well as you had been up until that point.

“I give up! I surrender!” you announced, proceeding to flop backwards and float, almost panting. The water had cooled you down greatly but it was still a warm night and Jimin was unfairly fast. You’d been kept on your toes the whole time.

“I am surprised that you lasted so long,” he mused, sinking down in the water until it was up to his neck. The mirth had yet to fade from his eyes, his marks still glowing an exuberant teal that fluctuated between bright green and cyan.

“I’m full of surprises,” you informed him, still somewhat breathless. You shifted from your floating position, treading water lazily as you leaned back and sent him a cheeky look. You just needed a moment to recharge, then you’d be giving him a run for his money once more.

Jimin hummed, breaking the hold he had on your gaze for a moment to glance up at the sky; your breath caught in your throat at how beautiful he was in that moment, raven hair an unruly mess and water still dripping down his skin, freckles luminous and the entirety of his form bathed in the kind of moonlight that made him seem ethereal. You snapped out of it a second later, propelling yourself slightly behind him so he wouldn’t catch you slipping if he happened to look down.

You’d only meant to hide your face and the current heated nature of your cheeks from him, but as you floated behind him your goblin brain, of course, came up with another idea that would rile him up. You weren’t sure if you should enact it so soon, when you hadn’t even caught your breath completely yet, but you were also aware that he wasn’t going to be distracted much longer, especially when it was you in his company. By this point he’d learnt the hard way to keep his eye on you.

Twisting your body in the water smoothly so that your feet braced against the bottom once more, you prepared to jump. You needed to get a good grip, or else he would throw you off too easily and that would be nowhere near as fun.

Throughout the whole time you were plotting that move, you forgot completely about what lined the skin of his lower back— you were soon to be reminded, however, when you proceeded to pounce on him from behind and he stiffened immediately in your hold.

Your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms around his neck, but he was more slippery than you accounted for and you had to fight to keep your grip. This, of course, meant that you were pressed that much tighter against his back.

“You—” he seemed at a loss for words for the briefest moment, stuttering slightly as his hands whipped to your thighs.

“Boo!” you announced belatedly with a ruffle of his hair, even as you felt your grip begin to slip. Well, it seemed it was time to cut your losses and jump back into the water— you were completely prepared to do so, until he twisted slightly beneath you and you slipped prematurely.

Having expected to fall back into the water, you were surprised when Jimin managed to turn in your grip and scoop you into his hold, saving you from an abrupt reunion with the surface of the lake. It didn’t do much for the state of your heart, however, when you realised that now you were clinging to his front, legs around his waist and his hands supporting you at your ass and thigh. Uncharacteristically— or rather, quite characteristically since this was Jimin you were dealing with— you were at a loss for words, reduced to simply blinking at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly ajar in shock.

If the position alone hadn’t been enough to send your heart racing, then the way he was looking at you would have definitely finished the job. His marks were flushed deep, dark rose, and his eyes were so intense as they bore into you that you felt goosebumps raise across your skin. You felt oddly… vulnerable, for a moment, but you didn’t have time to ponder that realisation before his lips were quirking slightly in something like triumph.

“You are full of surprises,” he agreed, head tilting slightly; water lapped lightly at your skin and it took you a moment to realise he was moving towards the cliff, near the cluster of large, obsidian rocks that skirt the edge of the waterfall. “But you are also very predictable, petal. You pulled the same move twice.”

Huh, well. Maybe you did! What’s it to him?! You opened your mouth to express just that, but all that came out was a squeak when his hand shifted its place on your thigh and slipped through the slit in your pants, palm cool against your heated skin. For a moment you forgot how to breathe— this was just like what you told Seokjin. Going from nothing to a lot of something, just wasn’t a situation you were equipped to handle!

“Oh,” you managed to say, finally. He seemed amused at your fluster, and you were willing to bet that he was probably enjoying the way the tables had turned since you’d first arrived here. Cocky of him, but hot nonetheless. You just called it as you saw it. “Well, maybe this was my plan all along, and you played right into it. Victory goes to me, peach cheeks.”

His brows rose, apparently thinking it very bold of you to be bringing back that pet name when it was you currently at his mercy, as much as you might have currently been trying to make it seem otherwise.

“Your plan, or mine?” he asked softly, holding your gaze as he halted and you felt cool rock press against your back. You shivered, unable to help it, and he let out a pleased hum. You didn’t know what you were expecting, but it most definitely wasn’t for him to rock his hips forward, grinding against you and pinning you to the rock all at once. The gasping noise that came out of you was kind of embarrassing, but he didn’t seem to think so.

Once more, he had you at a loss for words as you attempted to process his utterance amongst the pleasant, heady sensations burning through you. It didn’t help your ability to think either, when his hand slipped from your thigh to trail up your side; with bated breath, you felt it as he dragged his fingertips over your ribs, skirting the underside of your chest before dancing up your sternum, where your neckline ended and his fingers met your skin. It wasn’t all that much, but the action alone had been enough to leave a trail of gooseflesh in its wake. When his gaze flicked down momentarily, you were slightly embarrassed to see that his wandering hand had also elicited another unwitting reaction from you, your nipples standing beneath the material of your shirt. Wearing a bra tonight would have been prudent, but you hadn’t exactly accounted for this, had you?

This felt surreal, almost. For however long and loudly and explicitly you had expressed your desire for him, for some reason you hadn’t ever counted on being in this position. It was almost like you had to acclimatise yourself to it, but you didn’t have time to ease yourself into the scalding heat of his touch and the sinful burn of his gaze against your skin. You had been fully immersed and molten desire was devouring you whole.

His fingertips had remained at your sternum, but his gaze flicked along the column of your neck and it wasn’t long before his hand followed suit. Over your collarbones, the dip of your shoulder where it met your neck, and then up the column of your throat. His touch was gentle as his thumb settled under your chin, fingers slipping into the hair at the back of your neck, and ever so slowly he tilted your head backwards so the expanse of your neck was bared to him.

Your gaze now centered on the stars, your breath hitched when a hum drifted through the air and he nosed along your neck, the occasional brush of his lips against your skin eliciting shiver after shiver. Of course he would enjoy toying with you, not that you could blame him.

He didn’t make you wait all that long, though, before his pillowy lips finally pressed to your skin over your pulse, soft and silken as a petal. You didn’t doubt he could feel, if not hear, the way your heart was racing right now.

“Always so bold,” he murmured, pressing his lips directly over your throat, and then to your collarbones. You could barely breathe, feeling dizzy from just his proximity alone. “But you’re awfully quiet now, petal.”

“Can you blame me?” you said, eyes fluttering closed as you felt his tongue brush against your skin. “I’m only— only one woman—”

Your ability to speak ceased completely when his teeth made an appearance, scraping ever so tantalisingly against the junction of your neck and shoulder. He hummed against you, pulling back a moment later.

“Look at me.”

With his grip beneath your chin eased, you tilted your head back somewhat dizzily, head a little hazier than before.

“I want you to answer me seriously when I ask these,” he said, and there was no room in his tone for any of your usual cheeky behaviour. You nodded obediently, holding his gaze and watching as his marks shifted colours hypnotically.

“Do you want to feel me?”

He rolled his hips, a prominent bulge grinding against your core and making your nerves tingle to life as he did so. You nodded, breath catching and your hands coming to grip his arms.

“Do you want me to touch you?”

His hand drifted from your throat to your shoulder, finger slipping beneath the strap of your shirt and waiting. You nodded, more fervour in the movement this time, and slowly, oh so slowly, he dragged the strap of your singlet down over your shoulder. He seemed to be attempting to hold himself together too as he continued the movement and pulled the rest of your shirt with the strap, peeling it from your chest until it slipped beneath the curve of your breast and bared it to his gaze.

Almost with a sense of reverence, the back of his fingers brushed along the swell of your breast, forefinger coming to trace around your areola before his thumb finally shifted and swept across your hardened nipple. You had all the time in the world to prepare for it, and still you were unable to help the sharp mewl you let out in response, heat flushing across your face and chest. Jimin’s dark eyes flicked back up to your own, lips parted ever so slightly as though in awe. Idly, his thumb continued rolling your nipple, the sensations making your thighs clench in their grip around his waist; instinctively, his hips rocked into your own, and you registered in the back of your mind that something smooth was brushing against your feet.

The two of you had drawn closer without even realising, his eyes hooded slightly as they bore into your own from beneath damp lashes.

“Do you want to kiss me?”

For a moment, your heart stopped. This time you didn’t nod, the whisper escaping you of its own accord. “Yes.”

He didn’t need any more confirmation beyond that. Before you could blink he was dipping forward, fingers digging into your ass for a better grip as his lips finally met your own and the heat swallowed you whole.

When his mouth moved against yours, lips just as plush and pillowy as you’d dreamed, it was as though something shifted, snapped into place within you. There had never been an absence or a void inside you, and yet the second his lips caught your own in a kiss, it was like something had returned home. Like your insides before had been messy and muddled, and he had brought clarity and order and everything had fallen into place.

You sank into each other like clockwork, every move of his lips and tongue against your own all but stealing the breath straight from your lungs. So inebriated in the touch, smell, taste of him were you that you hardly batted an eye at the sensation of something thick and firm curling around your ankles and up your legs.

Suddenly emboldened, you nipped his bottom lip with your teeth, before sucking it into your mouth; the groan that escaped him in response was guttural and low, hips rocking into your own roughly. He only let you play for a moment, though, before he was reclaiming control of the kiss and the situation in one go.

“So eager,” he gasped a moan when he broke from your mouth to suckle along your jaw. “The smell of your desire is so strong, petal— intoxicating…”

You should have been embarrassed to discover he could smell your arousal, but at this point you were beyond shame. He nipped and sucked along the column of your throat, each one wringing out a new, special noise from you just for him. You forgot to keep track of the rest of him until you suddenly felt his hand shift, fingers toying along the waistband of your pants.

“I’ll give you what you want…”

In the next moment his grip had shifted and he was lifting you up with ease, placing you onto the surface of a rock just to the side; from this position your hips were at the same height as his shoulders. He wasted no time adjusting his position, moving closer and slipping your pants down in such a fluid movement that you were reeling for moments after. You felt no shame in being almost completely bare before him, not when he was slipping your thigh over his shoulder and easing forward, looking at you as though mesmerised by what he saw. It was a heady look that swirled in his eyes, molten and promising. As he moved closer he rose slightly, almost hovering over you and pushing your leg back to your chest.

His mouth parted, words on the tip of his tongue but unable to pass as he simply drank you in. The fingers of his free hand came to trail up your slit, collecting a generous amount of slick as it did so. The look Jimin then gave you was full of such heat that you almost felt lightheaded; the sensation of being completely at his mercy was absolutely intoxicating.

“So wet,” he murmured, pushing his finger a little deeper between your lower lips and making your hips cant up slightly. It was like he was no longer even aware of the words tumbling from his mouth. “So pretty… I wonder how well you would….”

You weren’t left wondering what he could have meant for long; in the next second he was pushing a thick finger to brush your entrance; the anticipation alone was almost too much for you, more arousal gushing forth to greet his inquisitive touch.

“Jimin,” you gasped as his thumb brushed your clit by accident, the noise making him double back and go again. “P-please…”

He met your eyes, and for a moment you thought he might have made you ask for it, might have made you beg, but to your surprise a small smile slipped onto his lips and, without a word, he pushed his finger completely into you.

Of course you were so absolutely turned on by this point that there wasn’t a stretch, but the sensation alone of being filled, even a little, was so delicious that you didn’t even have the presence of mind to try and squash the abrupt, keening moan that escaped you. You hadn’t realised how much you’d ached to have something inside you before now, clenching around even a single finger like a wanton whore.

Jimin swore in his native tongue, groaning at the tightness you offered. He pumped once, twice, finger a torturous drag against your walls as he did so until he added a second finger and was rewarded with more unwitting noises from you.

“Fuck!” You gasped as his fingers curled, searching for something along your walls that it didn’t take him long to find. He seemed all too pleased to have found your sensitive spot, and that knowledge in combination with the way he began working his thumb over your clit as he pumped his fingers into you was what ultimately spelt your doom.

“Does it feel good, petal?” he asked, breathless. When you nodded, he rewarded you with a third finger— the noise you let out in response was positively sinful. Pleasure thrummed along your limbs, burning beneath your skin and turning your bones to magma. So much pleasure throbbed in your core at his slow, purposeful strokes that you felt like you were going to lose your mind.

And then he decided he wanted to pick up the pace.

Your hands scrambled for purchase as he began to fuck his fingers up into you in earnest, each pump slamming into you and ending with his fingers curling into your g-spot and making colours explode behind your eyelids. You didn’t realise your eyes had closed until you felt something soft brush your chest and they shot open— only to flutter closed once more in the next second as Jimin’s lips wrapped around your pebbled nipple and he sucked it roughly into his mouth.

“Jimin—!” The words caught in your throat, “F-fuck, please d-don’t— don’t stop—”

Jimin’s fingers weren’t long, but they were thick, and the sensation of them dragging against your walls again and again and again was absolutely heavenly— but the way he stimulated your g-spot with each roll of his wrist drove you absolutely mad. You weren’t one to usually reach your end all that quickly, but already at his ministrations there was a ball of tension forming in your stomach, more and more ready to snap with each sharp jolt of pleasure to your core.

Jimin trapped your nipple between his teeth, tugging it lightly before releasing it and moving his mouth to your ear. “Let go for me, petal. I want to feel you unravel around me.”

A low, heady murmur dripping with desire and promise. He returned his mouth to your chest, and you didn’t even have time to tell him you were close before he hit the final nail into your coffin.

While he’d been maintaining long, precise strokes before now, he suddenly shifted tactics. Within the blink of an eye he began fucking his fingers into you that much harder, that much faster— but it was the combination of his fingers pressing into your g-spot and his thumb rolling your clit that sent you well and truly over the edge.

The coil within you snapped and you gasped out his name in a lilting moan as your orgasm burst forth and you came hard, pussy clenching around his fingers like a vice as your back arched off the rock in the woes of your pleasure. Even so, he continued to fuck his fingers into you as you rode out your high, only stopping when you placed a trembling hand against his chest and tried to squirm away from overstimulation.

It took a moment for you to come back to your senses somewhat, gaze centering back on Jimin; you were surprised to see droplets glistening along his arm and across the damp silken material of his shirt, but quickly realised with heated cheeks that he’d actually made you squirt. He didn’t seem to mind; if anything, he seemed to approve, expression strained as he gazed over the mess you’d made of him.

As he gently slipped your thigh from his shoulder and set it down, giving you a quick rinse with the water before slipping your pants back down, your ability to speak finally began to return to you.

“H-holy fuck…” you murmured, slipping from the rock and back into the water as soon as your pants were back on. It might have been a mistake to move so fast, though, because your legs were jelly and you almost dipped beneath the surface were it not for Jimin’s hands coming to brace you. You fixed your top as you looked at him, taking in the tension riddling his firm and the shadows swirling in the water behind him— now, of course, you recalled a certain predicament that affected him. You read the heat and desire still burning in his gaze and moved forward, slipping your hands to his waist. “Now, to return the favour—”

To your surprise, the alien halted your movements, shaking his head. Your confusion was only increased when a light smile slipped onto his lips. He closed his eyes a moment, taking a deep breath, and you caught it from the corner of your eye as the shifting shadows in the water behind him began to still and slip out of sight.

“It’s okay, I will be fine,” he assured you, tone soft and just as airy and mellifluous as ever. “We should really be getting back.”

“Oh… ok.” For the third time that night, you were rendered speechless. Except this time, it was out of sheer confusion. He placed a hand on your back, guiding you from the lace and back up to where you’d left your baskets; thankfully, a part of you reflected as you emerged from the water, the material of your pants was comfortable and unlikely to chafe even while dripping with water.

As you retrieved your baskets, Jimin offered you a somewhat strained smile, before tilting his head in the direction of the castle. “Let’s go, petal.”

And then he turned and simply began on his way back, leaving you to follow and trail behind him distractedly. Something twinged behind the protection of your ribcage, replaced only by a sinking sensation that settled and weighed down your stomach and didn’t leave for the entire duration of your trip back to the palace.

The high you’d felt earlier was quick to fade in the wake of Jimin’s odd behaviour. He’d literally just fingered you to completion, you should be euphoric right now. And yet… for some reason, it felt as though something had been carved out of your gut and left a gaping hole in its wake. He wasn’t even being mean— hell, he’d smiled at you! Twice! So why did you suddenly feel so...down?

You struggled to entertain a plausible reason for Jimin’s odd behaviour, but you were coming up dangerously blank. In the wake of it all, you couldn’t stop the self-destructive thoughts you usually fought off so well from slipping in amongst your thoughts.

Had he done it just to get you off his case? Had he just been… humouring you?

The thought of it made you feel sick.

The trek back to the palace passed in the blink of an eye, and before you knew it Jimin was easing the basket from your grasp and you were in front of your door. The walk had dried you off enough that now the only true reminder of what had happened in the lake was the current damp and unruly state of his hair and the way his marks had been stained dark maroon ever since leaving the clearing.

“Thank you for your help,” he murmured, drawing your gaze to his own at the sound of his voice. “Go and get some rest, petal.”

With that, he leant forward and pressed a soft kiss, the barest brush of his lips, against your temple. Your heart suddenly hung heavy in your chest, stomach wringing in tumult. You watched him pull back and begin to move away, words caught in your throat.

“Goodnight.”

He was gone before you managed to say it back, disappearing into the darkness of the hall like a shadow returning to the night.

Returning to your own room had you vulnerable, the walls a chamber for your sudden loneliness to echo back and hit you in the face. You tried to brush the feelings aside; it was fine. You were tired and overthinking it, reading too much into the little things.

After all, if he didn’t like you then he wouldn’t have kissed you on the forehead.

...Right?

a/n: as always i hope u enjoyed,, tysm for waiting so long and for reading!!! lmk what u think and whether u enjoyed with a like or rb,, it helps keep me going lol. thank u i love u!!! <3

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#jimin smut #bts smut #jimin x reader #bts au #bts series #jimin series #alien au #alien jimin #alien jimin x reader #jimin x reader smut #tentacledipity #my work #wanted au #space au #tentacle smut #fun right #jimin fanfic #bts fanfic

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an-odd-idea · 3 years

Text

BTS “ON” music video: The most probable interpretation I came up with

I didn’t know exactly what was up in the music video, and I heard even they didn’t know what was happening, so I tried to figure out what might be going on.

The boys and other people live in a land behind a high wall that people are afraid to venture beyond. I think the other side of the wall may represent facing your demons or confronting the problems with the world, and the people behind the wall choose to hide and live in denial or apathy instead.

When the video starts, fighting has broken out between the people who want to venture beyond te wall and the people who are against it. Seokjin is one of the people who wants to go out. The dove on the arrow is one he sent out to see if anything can live on the other side of the wall, but someone has shot it down to stop him. He’s starting to despair of ever getting any answers.

Jungkook also wants to go past the wall. Maybe he got too eager and was arrested for stirring up the people too much. He may have been thrown out beyond the wall with the expectation that he’ll die there, or maybe he was going to be executed and is escaping where he knows they won’t dare follow him. The way Seokjin looks to the side right before it switches to the scene of Jungkook running, it might have been him who helped him escape, and now he’s thinking of him and hoping he makes it.

The song starts, and Jimin is singing about not being sure who to believe or what to do. He’s standing between a pile of discarded drums, and one person playing a drum: the many who gave up and the few who press on.

Taehyung is apathetic. He’s stranded in the desert with the little girl, with nothing meaningful around, and he’s more or less accepted that they’re both just going to stay there. He kind of doesn’t care anymore and is just laying there, since he feels there’s no point even trying to change anything. The blindfold on the girl might be because he’s trying to hide the dismal situation from her and let her keep thinking it’s okay for as long as she can, before she has to open her eyes and realize how empty their life really is where they are.

Namjoon has a ship in the desert, with animals around him. This looks like a clear reference to Noah’s ark, which also connects to Seokjin’s doves. Namjoon’s lyrics talk about knowing what to do but being afraid; maybe he knows he needs a flood to get himself and the animals in his care to somewhere they can live, but he’s afraid. The boat is battered and the sails are torn; he’s shipwrecked before he can even begin, because there’s nothing he can do while stuck behind the wall.

While Namjoon sings about moving awkwardly and uncertainly forward, that’s what Jungkook is doing as he stumbles along. Life beyond the wall, and confronting whatever demons he’s been hiding from is a lot harder than he thought, but he’s trying to press on. At the same time, we see that the land there is much greener and richer than the land behind the wall, with trees instead of deserts and open grassland.

Seokjin enters a room with many empty bird cages; he’s been doing this for a long time without success. The lyrics say you can’t get him down because he’s a fighter, and he looks like he’s going to keep trying.

The lyrics then say “carried myself into a beautiful prison” while we see Jimin still trying to make up his mind. The people living behind the wall are hiding by choice. They have a life there, and it’s a kind of okay life, but they’re missing so much by staying inside.

The chorus starts, talking about bringing the pain on. Seokjin finds hope in the form of another dove. Jimin starts to move toward the man with the drum as he decides he wants to go beyond the wall, too. Namjoon seems to be struggling over a decision. Jungkook starts running again, no longer looking back like his being chased but seeming determined, and they all push on despite the difficulty.

Finally, Jungkook gets too exhausted and falls. Based on the next scene, this may represent part of the old him dying. Right after Jungkook falls and his eyes close, we see Hoseok surrounded by strange, skeletal trees. Jungkook is laying in the background and a bird appears to be picking at him. Jungkook isn’t actually dead, I think, but this represents part of his old self dying as he changes.

Hoseok is dressed differently from all the others, in much more modern looking clothes, and my theory is that he’s an early scout who went out to see what it was like beyond the wall. His old self died, too, but he’s alive and healthy while surrounded by what looks like death. He’s learned to live while facing the demons and his lyrics talk about pain, but also that he now knows the way and has air and light. It’s difficult, but he’s doing well and now has a fuller life than he did before. He can’t go back to the place behind the wall, and hasn’t returned.

Yoongi immediately echos Hoseok’s last line. They stand for the same thing, and may have worked together trying to persuade people to try going past the wall before. Hoseok has been gone a while, and most people might think he’s dead, but Yoongi believes he’s still alive and is trying even harder to persuade people to go out and hopefully find him. He looks like he’s talking to a group of the people’s leaders, who are ignoring him, but he doesn’t care, as the lyrics say.

Taehyung starts to think there might be something more and takes action for the first time, getting up and going to the little girl. He sings “gotta go insane to stay sane” like he still thinks this is crazy, but he’s tired of living somewhere so empty, and can’t sit idly by and let the little girl live that way too. Jimin begins walking forward while singing about being a fighter.

The gate in the wall, covered with plants from how long it’s been closed, starts to open as Taehyung takes the blindfold off the little girl. He wants her to open her eyes and see the hope for something more that he has now, but to do that he also has to stop trying to hide the current situation from her. She has to decide for herself whether to stay where it’s safe but empty or to go out into the unknown. She takes his hand and decides to go.

Jungkook isn’t dead. He’s on his feet again, looked tired, but calmer and more sure of his decision to leave the wall now. He encounters a pond, a contrast to the desert we’ve just seen Taehyung and the girl in. He starts to sing about pain as well, but just like Hoseok, now he’s not afraid. He chooses to descend into the water like the lyrics say about choosing to descend into an abyss, and he’s starting to really embrace the life on the other side of the wall, although his hands are still tied.

The other boys start to walk toward the open gate where Taehyung and the girl are, and now they have other people following their example. Hoseok is back, presumably because the gate is now open so he isn’t going back to being trapped there. I think it’s sweet that he walks so close to Yoongi and bumps his shoulder; maybe now that he’s actually about to go outside Yoongi doesn’t feel quite as brave as before, but Hoseok’s been there already.

Jungkook puts his bound hands in the water, and they’re set free, as Seokjin sets the dove free. Jungkook’s wrists, which were cut from the thorns tying them, are also healed. The boys have chosen to confront whatever demons there are, and it’s setting them free and making them better. The land on the other side of the gate for the others doesn’t look quite as lush as it does around Jungkook; they’re still afraid and not completely sure yet.

The water in the shell Jungkook picks up looks beautiful, and maybe that’s supposed to make sure you know life is richer out here; the pond is the first water we’ve seen in the video, after lots of scenes in dry places, so that’s a neat scene.

I’m not sure why Jungkook blows on the shell. Maybe to show he’s made his decision and he’s committed to life outside the wall, or maybe to signal to people still inside that he made it, and they can, too.

Then dark clouds roll in; it isn’t going to be quite that easy. The boys have to confront the versions of themselves in the red robes who still want to stay back. The ones who want to leave are dancing like their lives depend on it, and the versions of them who want to stay only have to stand there, because it’s much more effort to change than to stay. This is the first time all seven of them have been together in the video, and I assume they win now because they’re there to support each other. There’s fire and a volcanic eruption; it’s scary, but then the land beyond the wall springs into bloom; they’re sure now, and they’re ready to go.

Namjoon leads them on, which is a cool touch, since we saw him earlier unable to take the animals in his care to a better place; now he can actually point to something good ahead. It also helps that he has people with him now who will also support him.

They’re walking uphill now (climbing Pride Rock, apparently) and moving slowly, maybe because it’s still harder than they anticipated. Jungkook sees seven (hard to count, but it has to be) doves flying above them, gets a burst of energy again, and starts running toward the top of the cliff with the others following. Does it represent the leap into a new world, are they about to jump off and start flying or something? Heck if I know, but what a cool video.

I may have totally made all that up, so don’t take my word for it, that’s just what I got from the video.

#should i tag this?#will the army kill me if i got any detail here wring #guess we’ll find out #bts #pls be nice i started liking them like last week so i don’t know a whole lot yet

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ddaenghoney · 5 years

Text

chapter eighteen

masterlist link in blog description.

As a successful songwriter, you want nothing more than the acknowledgment that the chart-topping musical pieces are your own creations. But contracts, relationships, and the difficulty of facing the stakes involved head on, keep your mouth shut until pressure builds too much.

Pairing(s): Park Jimin x Y/N, Min Yoongi x Y/N

disclaimer: any characters depicted do not represent the actual personality of the respected idol in real life.

Series warning(s)/genre(s): Chapter-based written fic, Slow-burn relationship(s), Fake-dating, Unrequited love, Songwriter/producer!oc, idol!Jimin, idol/songwriter/producer!Yoongi, friends with benefits, drama, romance, smut, angst, fluff (updated as needed)

Chapter warning(s): physical confrontation as well as mob mentality in that there’s a small group verbally harassing OC in a scene; nothing gets too severe, but the repetitive badgering could make some uncomfortable. OC speaking her mind a lot.

Word count: 6057

if you enjoy please, please let me know!

On weekdays Namjoon’s cafe is generally flocked with business workers in the early morning. An inconspicuous assortment of people walking in only long enough for a to-go order to be acquired before they whisk back out the doors in their commute. With the constant flow and few amounts of people that sit down to chat and relax, you choose it as the location to meet with the leader of a girl group from SoundWave you were quite fond of.

Through a series of overly polite texts, she requested a chat to catch up, and you have a feeling there’s more to it than that. You stir your coffee with the straw, watching the ice go in a circle over and over, while contemplating what the other thing she wants to discuss is. There’s no reason for her to want to wake up before her schedule just to catch up, especially not when her group will start promotion for a comeback at the beginning of the next month.

You have an inkling of why she’s going out of her way, but a large part of you hopes to be wrong. You want to assume you left the artists you worked with with a better image than the one swarming around in your head due to sensitivity. If you’re wrong, it would make you happier, and if you are right you are not sure how you will take her opinion.

“Y/N,” Your head lifts as a voice comes from beside you. Brightly she smiles, removing sunglasses from her eyes and keeping her beret style hat secure on top of properly styled straight hair.

“Jihyo, it’s good to see you.” You can’t help a warm greeting in return, undeniably glad to see a familiar face that you’ve never had a problem with. If the people around the cafe were not rushing in and out so haphazardly, you would even take the moment to give her a hug, but an accumulation of increased awareness lately, causes you to simply gesture for her to follow along as you take your drink. “My friend’s the owner and said we could use this meeting room to talk.”

“This is the place you always brought drinks from then?” She comments as she walks in your trail, giving a sweet smile to Namjoon as the two of you pass him by.

“Yeah,” You nod your head, using the previously claimed key to open the doors. “His coffee’s my favorite. Maybe I’m biased though.”

“I’ll grab some on the way out. I’ve been missing it since you used to bring it for meetings.”

You fumble needlessly putting the keys securely in your pocket, nodding your head at her words as you switch the lights on. Recalling the people-- generally artists gives you a difficult time rationalizing your decision to walk away from the company. If it weren’t for how you were ignored for credit, you really would not have left. Even with Yerin in charge looming over everyone with her calculative manipulations, you could get over that because the coworkers you saw everyday made it endurable. Comfortable.

“I was actually kind of surprised to hear you wanted to meet up, to be honest with you.” You sit in one of the chairs surrounding the table. You leave your glass on the wood where you’re sure to forget it quickly. Jihyo sits a seat away on the same side, simply dragging it out to angle it towards you. “I doubt I’m a company favorite right now.”

“It’s pretty divided actually.” She admits, brushing back her hair from covering the faintest of smiles. “Empathizing or thinking you’re acting insane.”

You bite your lip. Which side of the line she stands on you’re sure to find out soon.

“No one expected the thing with Min Yoongi either,” She laughs slightly, without joy. Ironically. “Who would think he’d put himself out there like that-- get fired because of those songs.”

She doesn’t look at you as she speaks, so the discomfort slipping into your eyes is never seen. Like you expect from the employees of SoundWave, they all still view Yoongi distantly. Granted, his involvement in releasing music with you is still a shocking thing to consider as reality. Moments occur where you still worry if you’ve ruined something big for him, but his excitement about conceptualizing a new company of his own sets you at ease.

“Are you both dating now?”

You look up from your lap, finding Jihyo’s eyes to be tame and her lips curled in a giddy way. As though the conversation really is two people catching up without a more grand issue looming in the background. Accepting this moment of simplicity, you don’t stop your mouth from smiling in return. Your head nods in small, but quick jerks. Still new to telling, but you enjoy that you’re able to say,

“Yeah, we decided to become a couple almost two weeks ago.”

“That’s really cute.” Her words beam brightly like the little bop of her shoulders, finding this news nice. “He always seemed so hard to approach-- I think because of how popular he is, I guess.” She rambles along as her fingers push straying locks from her face. “Then again, I’m sure you both had things in common… Both of you being producers and songwriters and all that.”

Contrasting her initial endeared temperament, the reminder Jihyo’s final sentence seems to instill in the forefront of her mind causes her voice to drift into a quieter murmur. She stares towards your melting drink, a hand atop her thigh squeezing to cause wrinkles in the denim she wears.

Finding her remaining silent, you do nothing to fill in the gap with words. Instead, your eyes remain on her, realizing that Jihyo likely means to say whatever is pressuring her shoulders. Her mouth opens slowly, a word apparently clinging to her conscious and away from being said, but she manages to shove the thought out entirely,

“Are you going to tell everyone about everything you made at SoundWave?”

Your heartbeat feels like it rumbles for a short moment in your chest as she asks. The expression on your face remains poised, and you’re more surprised with yourself that you aren’t shocked by her question than you anticipated. Its presence in the air resembles, to you, a draft. You wish it wouldn’t be here, but you aren’t frustrated. Simply expected this.

Collecting your condensated glass into your hand, you take a languid sip, mulling over a reply to her. Frankly, you find yourself remaining in limbo on the topic. In some ways you want nothing more than to scream about all of your production in songwriting to everyone, but maybe you didn’t need to.

“It really,” Jihyo’s voice chips her phrasing like she isn’t sure whether to interrupt your processing, but she goes on. “Would be so bad for us-- us idols. We,” She stammers as you place the glass back on the table so casually, missing your furrowing eyebrows confused at her suddenly timid disposition, “We never wanted you or everyone to make everything for us, Y/N. So many of us want to make our own music. We didn’t want to take credit for everything you made-- you know my group especially didn’t.”

Your lips purse into a line, spine straightening slightly as her plead completes. Like your contract with SoundWave, every idol you are positive had clauses they should have reconsidered or questioned. Considering the chance of a lifetime in front of the people like Jihyo obviously they would overlook the idea that they would not produce their own music-- most likely satiated with the idea that after gaining experience they would be able to create as well.

You realize this. Undoubtedly, the majority of idols and groups did not ever want to claim your songs as their own, but had no choice other than to do so. Ever since the feeling of unfairness started springing within yourself to receive credit, this factor has prevented you from blindly going to the press with your story. You don’t want to ruin all of their careers.

“Jihyo,” You begin as your fingers curl atop the table, loosely forming a fist. “I don’t know if I’m going to tell anyone about it. I really want to, honestly, but-”

“You’ll ruin all of us!” Your lips clamp shut as she suddenly bursts out. “Y/N, I know it sucks for you-- I really do; but this isn’t about you. This is everyone’s careers!” Your hand tenses further as she groans, rubbing her face with her hands. “Don’t you know how many all-nighters, how many days-off, how much we-- I’ve given up to make it this far-”

“You’ve given up?” You say like a knife in her sentence. Your eyes narrow as Jihyo looks at you with startled confusion at your interruption, her hands pausing from rubbing her neck. “Jihyo, regardless of if I was involved, your schedule was always going to be that harsh as an idol.” Her mouth peeks open uncertainly, but you speak on, “Do you know how many things I’ve given up too? You’re not the only one who pulls all-nighters, and gives up personal time, but at least when you give it up you get rewarded with people knowing who you are, meanwhile I get to watch them all think all the work I put into everything was something you did-- what all of you get to claim you did.”

“I know, but-”

“You never even stood up for me.” Jihyo’s eyes widen as though she can see the betrayal of your statement-- the unhidden spite firing in your irises. “None of you ever tried to change anything. You say you never wanted to do any of it, but you all aren’t ever going to try and change it, are you? Watching me get shut down each time was answer enough.”

“Why should I have to fight for any change?” She shoves her words out in haste, appearing defensive as her arms cross. “If you hadn’t noticed, it won’t work. We all get our careers thrown away if everyone were to find out.”

“Because it’s wrong!” Your words loudly propel you forward, leaning towards Jihyo in your seat as she shifts back into hers. “You know it’s wrong! You’re all lying to everyone and letting me be the dirty secret of the fucking company and I’m just supposed to accept it? I’m just supposed to start over from nothing all because none of you have any kind of guts to admit that I’m the one who made your chart-toppers!”

Concern runs rampant in Jihyo’s eyes, mouth remaining gaped as you stare at her with even, full breaths heaving in your chest. Clamping her lips together, she glances towards your drink for no reason other than to avoid your lingering eyes that blister every nerve of guilt swarming in her mind. Shoulders tensing when she listens to you scoff, she wills herself to remain silent from timid retorts as you speak up once more in a voice barely louder than the sound of the clock on the wall.

“Why is it that I’m the only one ever asked to suffer in silence?”

Jihyo blinks her eyes tightly together, building a wall out of every ounce of strength to refrain from the hollow apologies that she realizes would do nothing for you. All she can do is stay in her bubble, presented on the stage with her members as the image given to them by SoundWave. The liberty you explain a desire for isn’t something she can take hold of, especially if her group’s reputation is smashed to pieces by what you could say to clear your name.

“Y/N, I know it’s never been fair of anyone to use you like this-- to always erase your name from everything you’ve created.” Her voice drips frailty off of words intended to appear sound with reason. Composure is lost on her and you can see it as she talks without reaffirming eye contact. You acknowledge the weight in her throat likely at odds with what she feels convicted to ask of you as well, and it makes you feel sorry for her. “But SoundWave isn’t going to do this anymore-- they’re going to let us write our own music now and credit properly, so it’s over at least.”

Your heart drops like a weight towards the ground, eyes instinctively narrowing at her words. Within moments you feel a tremble ricochet throughout your shoulders, and when Jihyo finally tests a tiny look in your direction you know your reaction is not the one she wished for.

“What-” You stutter out the words, shocked beyond belief that a switch in the company had been so simply flipped. She’s able to tell you this so lightly as if the decision came with ease following your leave. “I,” A ball in your throat feels made of metal, scraping your words into fury as you speak slowly, “That was all I ever wanted from them, and they do that now. They do that after I quit.”

“Y/N-” You stand up cutting off Jihyo’s statement before it begins. Shaking your head, you let out a single breathy laugh as your hands clench at your sides,

“I can’t believe this.” You mutter and start an exit from the room, ignoring the clattering on wooden floors behind you as Jihyo stands up.

“Wait, where are you going?” She asks without the sound of footsteps under her words, and you don’t care to look back as you reply simply,

“Away from here. I can’t take listening to this crap anymore, Jihyo.”

Without missing a beat, you pull open the door and exit back into the main cafe space. Remnants of the morning rush cause a small line to linger along with busy employees completing their tasks. Namjoon catches sight of you as you walk along, but doesn’t attempt any wave of goodbye as he notes the contortion in your eyebrows as you quickly mash keys on your phone. He only bites his lip and continues filling paper cups full of hot coffee.

You have no hesitation in turning left down the street to walk northwards, but no destination is in mind as you do so. All you do is exhale a sigh to release some of the frustration while the repetition of a dial tone vibrates in your eardrum.

“Hello?” Yoongi’s voice rings clear on the other side of the line along with the clicking tone of a car blinker.

“Hey,” You say in response, crossing your free arm so that your hand can squeeze the opposite elbow. “Were you busy?”

“No, just on the way to pick you up from the cafe actually.” He says easily as you nod your head gently. Walking slowly upwards on the sidewalk you have little time to tell him a new location before Yoongi’s voice gently inquires, “How’d it go?”

“Bad.” You say as the news stings like a dagger in your mind. Huffing, you shake your head, “SoundWave’s going to start letting them all make their own music. Credit properly.”

“What?” Yoongi’s voice sounds baffled and you can imagine his neck tensing rigidly with lips frowning at the implication of your words. You nod your head despite him being unable to see you.

“Right? After all the shit they said about it never being possible for me.” Yoongi listens to the frailty of your words, realizing that this news must hurt you so much to have heard. He bites his lips, hands gripping tighter on the steering wheel as he turns a corner,

“I’m so sorry, angel. I should be there in a few minutes and we can go somewhere to talk about it-”

Yoongi’s voice falters away from your ear due to a swift grip on the back of the arm holding the phone. Instinctively, you pull your arm towards yourself as you take a step away from whoever grabbed you. The sole of your shoe presses flat on the concrete as you turn, facing the face of someone you’ve never seen before in your life.

As words scurry around your head in confusion, you say nothing as you take in the appearance of the girl about your height, then your shoulders tense as movement behind her gives reason to look to another. As your focus collects itself you see more than just the two people, but another onlooker further beyond them as well as a person to your side that startles you as she calls out your name.

“What?” You find yourself responding to her call, another step away from the small semicircle they form around you.

“Why are you using Yoongi-” “You got him fired-” “Use your own talent to get a career-” “I bet you didn’t even do anything on those songs. You just want the clout-”

Between the five people, you can’t distinguish whose words belong to you. Continuing rampantly in bursts of ignorant anger towards you, they simply persist onwards. Without giving you any opportunity to defend yourself, all the voices overwhelm your nervous throat and wildly scanning eyes. You take another step away when one becomes particularly enraged as she speaks loudly and her hand reaches out.

Your hand smacks hers away before it can make contact with your shirt, definitively colliding with her skin to make a loud sound that seems to reverberate throughout the avenue. The quiet ensuing is wholly false, but you find it impossible to actually hear anything from them as their reaction consists of even louder yelling at you. Any lips you take a look at are moving and no one reaches again, but you know they want to force their opinions on you with the fury at which they speak.

And all the words you’re able to visualize assert your disgracefulness. In different ways, with strong enunciations you simply are the target of their blame. Everything they don’t know about behind the scenes of all the trouble you’re finally escaping from, they frustratingly paint you as the perpetuator. The reason that all is wrong. “You’re lying to get attention-”

“None of you even know anything!”

Your voice breaks their flow of thundering rage, silencing them entirely by the brutal and unforgiving confidence of your frustrated exclamation. Just like that they’re startled. The fuel of adrenalin leaves them to course through you as you glare in response to their actions. You reaffirm, “Quit blaming me when you don’t know even a percent of what I do!”

One towards the back of the group glances uncertainly at the others, and the one whose hand you hit away takes a step back. Like they didn’t expect you to speak against them. Your hands clench tightly as you remain erect in posture. Eyeing each of them, you find it almost impossible to stop yourself from blurting out every secret you’re obligated to keep for everyone else except yourself.

“What does that even mean?” A guy pushes the girl at the front of the pack aside, storming in your direction but stopping short of contact as you do nothing to evade him. Instead his shoulders shake from your consistent glare that he felt tense in front of. “You’re causing all the trouble!” He manages to fumble out anyways as he works up the nerve to take another step with his arm rising as well, making you begin to move back.

Before contact ever occurs, his wrist becomes clenched within the hand of Yoongi as he steps in between the two of you. A shiver in your spine nearly shakes your knees to a buckle as the sight of his back shielding you releases a wave of worry building in your head.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Yoongi asks lowly, simply throwing down the arm he took hold of as his eyes freeze the man. Disbelieving calls of his name from the small crowd mumble and gasp, clearly overtaken by just the sight of him. “What were you going to do?”

“Yoongi-” You reach both of your hands to clasp onto one of his biceps as he tries to step closer to them. “Let’s go,” His head shifts to look back at you, dark irises tinted with immense irritation from what he just walked up to. You shake your head as you consider what could go on if you both remain, and your fingertips tremble on his skin.“Please. I don’t want you to do this.”

Yoongi turns towards you, maneuvering his arm as your hands fall away so that he can press a guiding hand to your back. He looks back towards the group as you both only take a few steps. Ignoring the cling of your hand on his chest to continue him along, he speaks up with conviction, “If I find your names, I’ll report this.”

He takes no heed of their instant rebuttals as they call feebly out to the pair of you as you walk along. Instead, Yoongi drops his hand from your back to take hold of yours as he believes you’d prefer. Finding your fingers quickly intertwining with his own, Yoongi sighs, squeezing as the severity of what you leave behind catches up with him.

“Did any of them hurt you?” He asks the moment he enters into the driver’s seat of the car. The door slams beside him and your head shakes as you fumble with the seatbelt to get it latched. “Angel,” He shifts towards you, delicately cupping your cheek as your body freezes in response. “Are you okay?”

Seeing Yoongi’s eyes searching through your own for any of the discomfort you should feel is soothing. His palm warms your skin and in that moment you relish in the sensation despite the heat that remains in the air of early fall. The breath in your chest escapes through your lips, and Yoongi’s thumb twitches worriedly against your cheek.

“Yeah.” You nod slowly, overlapping his larger appendage with your own freely allowing yours to grip softly. “Honestly, I am.”

Yoongi doesn’t completely believe your words, if only because he can’t imagine how terrifying being so arbitrarily surrounded is. He bites his lip, head tilting as though to ask again.

“Nothing really bad happened.” You say shrugging your shoulder, and glancing downwards. “And everything they were mad about is completely stupid-- they shouldn’t have done any of that.” The hand you left atop his own, strays to glide slowly up his wrist and resituated on his forearm, gently guiding him from cupping your cheek so that you can return to holding his hand. “They really don’t know anything.”

“That doesn’t give them the right to act like that, angel.” Yoongi’s hand engulfs yours while he talks, prompting your eyes back up to his. You nod your head, entirely in agreement. The sight causes Yoongi’s brow to furrow slightly.

“Can you drive me to SoundWave?”

“What?” He blurts out on impulse, frowning more from bewilderment than anything else. “What for?”

“I want to talk to Yerin.” You say simply, as the reasonings those people threw at you return to your mind, as well as the worries of Jihyo that brought her to plead with you for the sake of her career, and the voice ripped away from Jimin petrifying him from ever expressing his thoughts to you until it was far too late.

Yoongi’s mouth opens to speak, but he stops from doing so. Your eyes give him the answer before he has to vocalize the question. Instead a small chuckle escapes him more similarly to a grainy breath. “Okay.”

Within the confines of the elevator, Yoongi stares up at the growing number as you both go higher up the building. Between your bodies he starts a tiny sway of your held hands, while he squints in thought before finally speaking,

“Not that I think you’re wrong to go and talk to her, but do you think it’s going to do anything?” He recalls his own efforts of very early on in the merger that subliminally requested a change of his image to represent something closer to himself. Just like the rest of the employees who try to escape the confines of narrowly set paths, Yoongi too was swiftly rejected in few words with only an explanation of there being no need to change something that works.

“Who knows.” You say not realizing until your voice comes out that despite the mellow timbre that there’s a hint of timidness as well. Yerin has always been the greatest shadow in your mind for years now. Someone you’ve never been able to stand across from and feel equal with because of her subdued confidence that showered her veil of control over the entire company. “I don’t think I care if it does anything. I’m just over this.”

“Should I wait out here?” Yoongi asks as you both step out of the opening doors. He ignores the obvious shock in his peripherals from the secretary that likely has no way to gauge how to handle your presence in the room. Everything on Yoongi’s side is practically settled, and you have simply been a former employee for weeks now; not supposed to be returning so high up in the building.

“No,” You squeeze tighter on his hand, turning your head to look up at him as you remain paces from the secretary’s desk. You speak quietly. “I don’t think you’ll have to say anything, but having you there would feel better.” You frown as you think that it may sound selfish to have dragged Yoongi along this far only to tell him he won’t actually do much. “You’re comforting for me…”

“Then I’ll go in with you, sweetie.” Yoongi says before gently pressing a tiny kiss to your temple, as you squeeze his hand bashfully. “I’ll cheer you on-- you can give me inspiration for a diss track-”

“Stop.” You smile, bumping your hip against Yoongi and continue the walk to the desk with him trailing alongside you.

Satisfied slightly that he could at least break away some nerves, Yoongi takes in a larger inhale than usual. Frankly he’s unsure of what you plan to say to Yerin, but considering all of the grief instilled on you so far from her, Yoongi doesn’t doubt it could be definitive. If you find closure from this, then he’ll be content with this choice of a blindsiding meeting, but he can’t help worrying that some emotions could create words inciting angry retribution on the side of SoundWave.

Your collected demeanor as you speak to the secretary, along with the full way you stand with shoulders straight and each leg stood with no slouch gives Yoongi something to relax about. When he thinks about one of the first times he interacted with you, an evident difference in your assurance exists. Where you had bumped into him escaping a meeting room, you’re now choosing to cut into any current schedule to speak to Yerin following the public reaction she’s passively caused.

Steadily, you enter into her office only minutes later, never needing to bother with waiting in a seat. Yoongi follows after you simply standing closer to the door while he watches you stride towards the desk. Yerin sits with relaxed posture, though her eyes go from Yoongi to you with perplexity.

“Should I have the lawyer present for whatever you want to talk to me about?” She asks instead of greeting, letting her forearms rest on the wood before her.

“Doubt it.” You say, not taking a moment in your head to consider where to begin. Everything you would like to exclaim to her flutters violently around, so much so you believe her narrowing eyes to be preparing herself for the eventual explosion. You want nothing more than to get a genuine apology to fall from her lips along with admittance that she was wrong to do everything to you that she has, but your calm heartbeat reminds you of the impossibility of that route.

You know she wouldn’t loosen her stubborn tongue to admit anything of the sorts. You could even assume she has no regrets so far. Watching our reputation’s stature diminish for years is nothing but a casualty in her calculations. Needless to fret about it when the product of your fingers has given so much acclaim to the company. All Yerin’s allowed happen is a choice made to receive the most lucrative result. Whatever happened to you is of little consequence.

“Did you ever think what you did to me was wrong?”

Your question’s candor rings softly in the room. Not timid, but somehow resigned. Almost like a test, Yerin believes as she continues to stare towards you without so much as a waver in emotion from the depth of the question.

“You agreed to it.”

“As a twenty-year-old worried about paying back my college.” You swiftly insert the context, shaking your head so as to not let Yerin detract from the severity of her contract in your life. “You know how much of an incentive working at a company like this would have been to anyone in my position. Any student, or young adult just starting out. You used it against me.”

“You could have walked away.” Yerin reaffirms before sighing as she sits back in her seat. “Considering all of that about yourself back then, what would you expect a company to do for you? That was your chance back then to start in the career you want. Everyone starts small; why would there be an exception for you?”

“You came to me.” You say with an even voice. Yerin’s hand curls on the table, visually reacting slightly. “I submitted songs for a contest, but you came to me with a contract. I didn’t see anyone else getting contracts back then,” You cross your arms and your head tilts with your blunt conclusion. “You saw enough in me to seek out a long-term job, and you didn’t want me to leave when I didn’t re-sign. You can’t try to convince me otherwise of that.”

“Of course I didn’t.” She says with a scoff. “I don’t deny you’re talented-”

“But you denied me from showing everyone else that!” You assert as your arms gesture to emphasize your frustration. “In some ways, I could understand you not giving me credit as a new rookie at this job, but I worked here for five years. I have nothing to show for it anywhere because you wanted me to be stuck here for the rest of my career, and you know what? I probably would’ve stayed for a long time if you would have just given me the damn credit that I deserved!”

Yerin remains quiet as you pause to take a breath and collect yourself from the startling rant. Her jaw tightens along with her fisting hands on the desk and shockingly to you, she averts her gaze to the side. Swallowing down any nerves, you go on without remorse as you attempt to hit every point you can,

“Now I hear you’re going to let the idols produce, and give all the songwriters proper credit. Everything you did to me is going to just be me, huh? You won’t do it again because you know it’s wrong-- you know whoever you trap is going to end up wanting out just like me and you’re not willing to take any chances on this perfect company image getting messed up by some songwriter, isn’t that right?”

“Y/N, I’m not the only person in charge of these decisions. There’s a board. You know that.” Yerin says at a low volume. She still looks from you towards a window overlooking the city that you doubt she’s focusing on. She’s in the wrong. She knows it and you can see her silently admitting it whether she wants to or not. But no responsibility claimed.

“When Jimin, Jihyo, and all the other idols here wouldn’t take my side it was because you’re in charge of the decisions.” You say before scoffing, watching her flinch from the sound and turn to finally face you. “When I come up here to talk to you about it, you say it’s because of the board. It’s always someone else’s fault that I couldn’t be helped. You’re the CEO. If you knew this was wrong, you should’ve said something. It’s your job to look out for the company, but it’s also your job not to be spineless and pass blame around.”

Yerin’s eyes widen at the end of your composed speech. Standing up with intent to challenge your words, she opens her mouth with a glower aiming at you, but freezes as your eyes narrow and you take a step forward to stop just short of her desk,

“I just practically got attacked before I came here because people think I ruined a career just by having my name in the credits of his songs.” You coat your words with convicted resentment. “All of my friends are begging me to stay quiet because their careers could be ruined by me saying I wrote so much of their music. I wouldn’t have to be everyone’s enemy-- I wouldn’t be hated by so many people right now if you hadn’t forced everyone in this company to lie in the first place. Everyone wants me to be quiet right now because all the lying is supposed to stop? I’m supposed to be the scapegoat for this company and be the only one to receive all of the infamy for your unethical crap? That’s not going to happen.”

“What?” Yerin’s voice stutters a shocked response on impulse. Her fingers drag against the wood of the desk, evidently nervous by the implications. “You can’t mention anything about your job here, Y/N. That’s in the agreement.”

“Remove the non-disclosure clause.”

Yerin scoffs in pure disbelief, looking past you to Yoongi as he simply remains a spectator. Clearly unprepared for all that you’ve said thus far, but doing nothing to stop you from continuing. She shakes her head as her eyes come back to you. “I’m not doing that.”

“Then don’t. I’m still telling the press.” You say simply as a shoulder shrugs, and you loosely cross your arm.

“You’ll,” Yerin pauses when she realizes her heartbeats acceleration. “You’ll lose all your royalties. We’ll sue you.”

“Sue me then.” You nod your head once, completely unwavering as you just shrug again. “Really. I’ll just drag the suit out. Let you all show your true colors to the public and then we’ll see if you think it’s worth it to get involved in your fail-safe plan when everyone still realizes how much SoundWave has forced its employees to shut up and lie about.”

The brief wave of silence as you finish feels uplifting on your shoulders. Yerin only looks on at you with indication that she doesn’t know what to say to convince you otherwise. You don’t allow her to dwell, simply dropping your arms from their crossed position over your front.

“You made your choice.” You turn on your heel to start a path towards Yoongi, sparing a glance back towards Yerin as she calls out,

“You shouldn’t do this, Y/N! You’re trying to get back at me, but you’re just going to ruin everyone at this company-”

“I’m not trying to get back at you.” You turn to her as Yoongi opens up the door. “I’m not responsible for this anymore. This isn’t my fault. It was always your fault from the moment you made me sign that contract and never planned to change your ways.”

Without another word spoken you leave the room behind Yoongi, feeling absent of regret and restraint in your throat. As though lighter on your feet you exit the company and with it abandoning all of the fear it has instilled on you for years. No plan of avoidance lingers in your head to save face for the greed of SoundWave’s sake, and even though you’re still unsure of coming days, you don’t feel wrapped in deceit.

Upcoming seasonal winds will begin and you have no doubt the frail veil remaining on your image will drift away into the past as you walk into new days.

if you enjoy please, please let me know via ask, comment, rb with tags– however ! i’d just really appreciate feedback 🥺 i hope you enjoy the series, i’m working really hard on it! : )

tag list (send an ask to be added): @jaiuneamesolitaiire @tsvkino-usagi@xionysus @baebyjoonie @honeyoongles @betysotelo18

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bangtan-sonyeonddaeng · 5 years

Text

You erode all my sharp edges, You make me into love (pt. 3)

This is my Namjoon Mafia! AU, just decided to give it a title since I am going to keep rolling with it. Sorry it took so long for part 3 ;~;

pt. 2 pt. 4

You wake up to loud banging on your door. It takes you some time to recollect the memories from yesterday, until you hear Yoongi screaming at you from the other side of the door.

“Y/n I SWEAR IF YOU DON’T SHUT THAT ALARM OFF!” You groggily sit up in bed, hair a mess and try to register what is happening. You glance at the clock and notice that it is 15 minutes after the time you were supposed to get up. You hear your phone alarm going off but can’t find it buried underneath all of your blankets. You throw the covers around and finally find it and shut the alarm off.

“Sorry Yoongi! I didn’t mean to sleep through my alarm. Shit.” You quickly jump into the shower and get ready quicker than normal. You run downstairs and put your shoes on to see you still have 5 minutes to spare.

“You didn’t have to rush, you know? I’m driving you and dropping you off.”

“What different does that make? It’s still going to take the same amount of time to get there whether you’re driving or I am.” He bursts into laughter and you look at him in confusion.

“You’ll find out soon enough, princess.” He turns on his heels and walks out the front door.

“What the hell does that mean? Yoongi!” You trail after him out into your driveway and see a motorcycle sitting there that wasn’t there before. You immediately burst out into laughter.

“If you think I am getting on that thing with YOU, you are insane.” He throws his helmet at you and you almost drop it trying to catch it.

“Get on y/n. You don’t have a choice.”

“I most certainly do. I will just drive my car to work. Or you can drive my car. I am not getting on that death trap with you.” He sighs and picks you up and plops you down onto the bike. You move to get off but he instantly starts the engine and starts backing out of the driveway.

“Better put that helmet on and hang on tight. Namjoon would be quite upset with me if something happened to you.” You don’t hesitate to listen to him and put the helmet on. You squeeze your eyes shut and Yoongi can feel your hands slightly shaking. His tone softens with you.

“Hey, It’s okay y/n really. I won’t let anything happen to you, remember? You’re important to Namjoon which means you’re important to me.” After that he takes off down the road and you swear you have to be nearly crushing his organs with your tightly your arms are around his waist. Even though you can’t hear anything, you know he’s laughing by how his shoulders are shaking in front of you. You arrive to work in record time, you’re even 15 minutes early. You take the helmet off and stumble off the bike, glaring menacingly at Yoongi.

“Never again Min. Boy do I have a bone to pick with Namjoon!” You stomp off into the building and Yoongi can’t help but chuckle after he watches after your retreating form.

“Boss really has his hands full with this one.” The engine roars to life again and he takes off down the road, back to their base where he can hopefully finally get some well needed rest.

*************************************

You clock in and walk up to his room, you are ready to lay into him for having you ride on that death machine with Yoongi until you see him fast asleep. He looks peaceful. The hard edge from his features is gone. You check the monitor and document his vitals. He’s been stable and it shouldn’t be too much longer before he can return home. You smile at him warmly before you settle into the chair next to his bed, not wanting to wake him up if he is still resting. He’s been sleeping for almost an hour now, and you can’t lie and say you aren’t a little sad that you aren’t getting to talk to him today. Almost as if he can read your thoughts he begins to stir and wakes up, glancing around the room.

“Morning sleeping beauty. Or should I say evening.”

“What? What time is it?”

“7:00 pm.”

“Shit. I didn’t mean to sleep for that long.” He tries to sit up but winces.

“You needed your rest Namjoon. Just lay back down okay? Can I get you anything?”

“Some water?” You get up and fill his cup with water and hand it back to him. When he speaks this time his voice is clearer.

“So how did you and Yoongi get along today?” You are suddenly reminded you are supposed to be irritated with him for the little stunt he pulled.

“How did we get along?! Why the heck would you send a man with a motorcycle to pick me up and take me to work? Not to mention he doesn’t trust me nor like me so how the hell was I supposed to feel safe with him?!” He laughs at your little outburst.

“Ah, I should have known he would do something like that.. I’m sorry but it is kind of funny.”

“It is not I was scared to death!”

“You seem alright to me.” You huff and if he wasn’t your patient you would have smacked him. “Hey, you got to experience something new and you didn’t die. You should be thanking me not envisioning all of the ways you want to hurt me right now.”

“How did you-”

“It’s written all over your face, love.” You are sure he can see the blush on your cheeks at the pet name. You mentally slap yourself. He’s a mafia boss he’s supposed to be charismatic to get people on his side and you are not going to allow yourself to fall for his charms.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Hmm.. Nope. I think I will continue to call you that because I think you like it, maybe a little too much am I wrong?”

“Am I that easy to read or are you just some mind reader or something?”

“You’re not very good at hiding your emotions. You’re easy to read. You should work on that, you know?” He glances out the window and sighs. “When can I leave this place?”

“Well, you’ve been stable. I would say maybe a few more days and then you should be good to go as long as there aren’t any complications.”

“Any chance you can put in a good word and get me out of here tomorrow? Doesn’t really look good to have the boss out of commission for so long. Makes me look weak.”

“I can’t really do anything about that Namjoon it’s not my decision to make. I’m sorry.” You see his dimples forming on his cheeks as he looks at you and smiles fondly.

“Can I ask you something Namjoon?”

“Sure. Can’t guarantee I will answer though.”

“Yoongi.. he said that I was important to you. And that because I mean something to you he would protect me with his life. I was just wondering you barely know me? Why are you doing these things for me and being so kind to me?” He sighs heavily and looks like he is debating on just how much he should tell you.

“Well, to put things simply you helped save me. I wasn’t lying when I said that we owed you one for that alone. Not only that but you haven’t given up my identity to anyone. You seem like someone I can trust. It wouldn’t be bad to have a nurse in our ranks to help take care of us when we get injured you know?”

“Who said I was going to join your gang?”

“Things were already set in motion the moment you saved me y/n.”

“And why aren’t you doing things like this for the other nurses and doctors that helped save you?” He mouth shuts into a tight line and his furrows his brows.

“That’s...”

“Hey, it’s okay you don’t need to tell me. I was just curious that’s all. I know you guys have your secrets or whatever. Really just.. thank you for everything you’ve been doing. It honestly kind if scares me to think that someone is watching me and keeping tabs on me so.. knowing you guys are there to protect me it means a lot.” You reach over and squeeze his hand and smile. He smiles back and sighs as he leans back against the pillows, his eyes fluttering shut.

“Why am I so damn tired all the time.”

“You can rest Namjoon I’ll be here to watch over you.” He can’t help but think that your words shouldn't be making him feel as comforted as they do. But he soon finds himself instantly asleep knowing you’re there to keep an eye on him. You sit in the chair and continue to monitor him until your shift is over. You glance sadly at him as you realize this was your last shift for the week and he would probably be discharged before you saw him again. You glance over your shoulder and walk out the doors to find Jungkook waiting for you at the entrance.

“You brought a normal car! Bless you Jungkookie!” You kiss his cheek and jump into the passengers seat as he stands out there frozen for a moment unsure how to react to your brief display of affection and nickname you had called him. He shakes his head and climbs back into the car.

“So is Mr. Grumpy staying with me again or do I have the pleasure of your company tonight?”

“Actually neither of them.” You hear a voice pipe up from the back seat and nearly scream as you whip your head around. You are face to face with the most adorable man you had ever seen in your life. You can’t help but squish his cheeks with your hands.

“OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU ALL SO CUTE!” This man whose face you are still holding bursts into giggles and his eyes turn into crescents. He nearly topples over as he laughs and you find it incredibly endearing.

“My name is Jimin. Can you let go of my face now please, doll?”

“What’s with you mafia people and your pet names sheesh just call me y/n.” You release his face and turn back around to face the front. “So Jimin you are staying with me today?”

“Yep! I can’t drive though so that’s why Jungkook is here.” The three of you talk and get to know each other better on the drive home. As you enter into your home you notice something is off.

“Someone has been in here.”

“What?” Almost immediately Jimin has his gun drawn and steps protectively in front of you.

“That photo.. of me and my best friend it’s normally facing me when I walk in the door and now it’s turned around.” Jimin points to the front closet and shoves you inside, holding a finger up to his lips. You stay completely silent as you hear him opening doors in your home. He comes back down and gives you the all clear when he opens the door.

“Whoever they are, they are gone now.. I don’t know if it’s safe for you to stay here anymore y/n.”

“I have nowhere else to go Jimin I don’t really have a choice.” He seems to be thinking for a moment before he pulls out his phone to make a call. You two can hear the sound of a cellphone ringing outside your door. He tenses up and slowly opens your front door. The sight in front of you makes your heart drop.

“Namjoon?! What are you doing out of the hospital?!” You scold him and are ready to give him an earful before he yanks you out the door and towards the vehicle waiting outside. You see a man with bright red hair in the drivers’ seat that you don’t recognize.

“Namjoon what is going on?”

“Y/n I’ll explain later just get in the car please.” You don’t hesitate to follow after him and get into back seat. Namjoon pulls you protectively into his side and has his arm gripped tightly around your waist.

“Whatever happens, I need you to stay calm love.”

“What why-” You don’t get to finish your sentence before you see a bullet hole form in the glass right behind Namjoon’s head. If the glass wasn’t bullet proof you know for sure he would be dead right now and that terrifies you. He can see the fear in your eyes as he tries to calm you.

“It’s okay y/n. The car is bullet proof. Just look at me okay. Just focus on my voice.” You do as you’re told as you are shaking and fearing for your life. You can’t help but wonder what your life has come to, and are now realizing that you are in this way deeper than you had originally planned.

#bts reaction #bts reactions #BTS scenario #BTS scenarios #BTS imagine #BTS imagines #kim namjoon #rm #mafia au #bts #Namjoon x reader #reader x namjoon #Namjoon scenario #namjoon imagine #Namjoon reaction

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hongism · 5 years

Text

finding beauty in your darkest places chapter 5

Pairing: TBA (i have no clue at the moment, ot7 for now)

Genre: Psychiatric Clinic!au, Heavy Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 8310

Warnings: strong language; deals with mental and emotional illnesses and disorders as a heavy theme of the story, future graphic depictions of disorders - please do not read if this makes you uncomfortable

Rating: PG-13/Mature

Summary: Everyone has their issues, and everyone deals with them differently. Jungkook thinks that avoiding his problems is the best option out there.

aka

Jeon Jungkook is the newest patient at the Omelas Specialized Psychiatric Clinic, and he just wants to get in and out as quickly as possible so that he can go back to university and be with his friends again. Of course, that doesn't work out according to his plan.

a/n: to the dearest person who said in the survey that they just want hobi to be okay, I'm crying ;-; that’s the purest most wholesome thing ever. also i’m sorry in advance :/

Chapter:

4 | 5 | 6

Finding Beauty in Your Darkest Places

Chapter 5: Falling in a White Room

After almost two weeks, Jungkook can still say with utmost confidence that he despises white rooms. There lies a suffocating stillness in the monotonous walls, and he would rather be anywhere else if he had the opportunity. Alas, he has nowhere to go, especially now as the clock is drawing nearer and nearer to 11:27. His hands won't find a suitable resting position, either gripping his bed sheets or sweatpants in a tight grasp, and the ever growing pit of uneasiness in his stomach continues to nag at his thoughts. He cannot tell whether the anxiety surrounds the danger of getting caught tonight or having to face you again after the argument that passed in the afternoon.

"You are nothing but a means to an end."

That line hasn't left Jungkook's thoughts since it tumbled from your lips, but he has no intention of forcing it out of his mind either because it serves as some sort of cruel reminder. Maybe a reminder that he overstepped a very clear boundary, or that he's gotten too comfortable in only two weeks at the clinic, or even that you aren't a friend to him — not even close. Friends have the luxury of knowing things about each other. You have drawn the line between any possible sort of friendship he could have with you. So yes, Jungkook knows that he is nothing. Nothing but a means to an end to you, and nothing to everyone else in the clinic. That's life, isn't it?

"Jungkook? You there?" Jimin is the one to cut Jungkook free from the confines of his thoughts, bringing him back to the reality of the dimly lit room. Jungkook looks up and finds Taehyung's and Jimin's stares from where they sit on Taehyung's bed. "I asked if you wanted to join the next game." Jimin motions to the playing cards on the bed before him, and Jungkook shakes his head before he finishes speaking.

"Sorry, I'm not feeling it right now." Jimin shrugs, gaze lingering on Jungkook's fidgeting form for a few more seconds, and then redirects his attention to Taehyung.

"You know that Miyeon is getting better?" He asks, and whilst the question is not meant for Jungkook, he listens in anyways.

"Oh?" Taehyung lowers his cards a bit but remains more focused on the game rather than Jimin's attempts at conversation.

"Eunbi was telling me about it after dinner. She said Miyeon hasn't thrown up in over three weeks — a new record for her — and she seems to be in a much better mood nowadays."

"Now that you mention it, I kinda noticed that. Well, the mood part at least. Do you think...do the doctors think she's doing well?"

"Hm? Oh apparently so. Miyeon told me that they've given her a lot more privileges and are letting her go out more. If this keeps up, then she could be gone by the end of the month. Two months at the latest, I'd say." Gone by the end of the month… All that talk about how patients stay for such a long time, and yet now we're talking about someone leaving? Seems so strange.

"Do you really think so?" Taehyung voices the surprise Jungkook feels. "I mean, it seems kinda early? Soon? She's only been at the clinic since the beginning of the year." Nine months? That's not nearly as long as everyone claims it to be. I wonder…maybe I can get out that quickly too? Jungkook's knee begins to bounce up and down on its own accord, leaving the bed to squeak along with the movement. Both Jimin and Taehyung glance in his direction.

"Sorry," Jungkook mutters, then presses his palms against his knees to keep them from moving any more.

"It's early, yea, but she's been on top of her medications and appointments. Everything is going well for her, and she really seems to want to get past this so it makes sense that she's managed to do so well in such a short amount of time." Jimin pauses to heave a deep sigh, eyeing his cards with pursed lips before continuing with his train of thought. "Eunbi isn't ready for her to go though. She says she doesn't know what she'll do if she has a room to herself again."

"We can help keep her grounded for awhile! If it gets too bad, that is."

"Miyeon has become the one to reign her in and bring her back to reality whenever an episode hits. You can't just replace someone like that at the drop of a hat."

"At the drop of a hat? What does that mean?"

"Ah, it's just a saying, Tae. What I'm trying to say is that it's like your bear. We can't just give you a new one and expect you to be okay." Jungkook bites down hard on his tongue, and even though he knows both Jimin and Taehyung are aware of your intentions to sneak around at some point, you specifically told Jungkook not to breathe a word. I just wanna say that it'll be alright. I want to tell him that we're going to find it tonight. For reassurance only, but I can't even do that. Jimin continues speaking without hesitation, unaware of Jungkook's sudden panic and rigidness on his side of the room. "It would be great if the nurses could move someone into her room, but there isn't anyone who would be willing or able to."

"I'll miss Miyeon if she does go," Taehyung admits as he drops the cards to the bed. "She always humors me when I wanna talk about something random and laughs at my jokes too! Unlike you." He pokes his tongue out at Jimin, who scoffs back.

"They aren't funny though. She's just being nice!" Taehyung ignores Jimin's retorts, returning with a sigh much like Jimin's earlier one.

"Won't it be weird if she goes all the sudden? I've gotten used to her being a part of our group." Jimin merely hums in response. Jungkook glances down at his watch, eyes chasing after the second hand that ticks around in its methodical, rhythmic circle on its trip. His hand is unstable, a tremble taking hold of his whole arm from his shoulder to the tips of his fingers, but Jungkook focuses more on the time rather than the shaking of his hand.

"It's past eleven. Won't you get in trouble for not being in your room by now?" He inquires, question directed towards the man he stares at now, and Jimin responds by pushing his tongue through his lips and poking the corner of his mouth. He rolls his eyes as he looks up at Jungkook.

"The last thing I wanna do now is go back to my room. I seriously can't stand living with Yesung, especially after Y/N slapped him. I swear, it feels like we've been living with each other for one week and not over a year now. We butt heads most of the time already, but it's hell during a switch." Jimin drops the cards held in between his fingers and shrugs before saying, "I may as well go back before the nurses make it to my room though."

"Oh, did Yesung only get here a year ago?" Jungkook asks, interest peaked at the information Jimin presented.

"Nah, he came over two years ago but moved into my room when Hoseok arrived at the clinic. He needed a room to himself, according to the nurses, and I wasn't in a position to argue with them."

"Why weren't you roommates with Taehyung? That seems like a logical decision given that the two of you are friends."

"I'm sure they would've paired us up if they had the chance to, but I already had a roommate when Tae arrived. Not much of an opportunity there." Jimin shrugs once more, tucking the cards together until they form a neat stack, then passes the deck over to Taehyung. As soon as he has his hands on them, Taehyung begins reorganizing all the work Jimin did to make them neat. He sets them out on the mattress again, only to pick the cards up one by one in perfect order based on number and suit and color.

"How long have you been at the clinic then?" Although the question leaves his lips with great hesitance, Jimin meets his inquiry with a quick shake of his head. Jungkook almost thinks that he's telling him that he's asked the wrong question and to drop the topic, but Jimin starts speaking again and melts Jungkook's worries. He taps his chin, one short index finger against the smooth expanse of skin there. A laugh cuts through the silence surrounding them.

"It doesn't really matter, does it?"

"Oh, y-yea sorry for asking. I shouldn't have pried."

"I don't mind, don't worry. It's more that I don't particularly like broadcasting the length of my stay here. Part of me feels a bit ashamed about it because no matter how hard I try, I can't get better. As happy as I am for Miyeon for getting better and doing well in such a short amount of time, I can't help but to feel bitter because she's doing what I can't do. Despite all our similarities, I can't do the little things she has been able to achieve in only nine months. Allowing others to know how long it's taken me just to make the minimal progress that I have…ah never mind. It's too late for this! We don't need such serious talk at this hour. Goodnight Jungkook, goodnight Tae!" Jimin hops off Taehyung's bed without another word, making a beeline for the door and whisking out of it before anyone can stop him (neither Taehyung or Jungkook really make an effort to however). Once the door snaps shut, Taehyung and Jungkook find themselves in another lingering silence. After a few minutes of Jungkook watching Taehyung sort the playing cards and tuck them away in the drawer of his end table, Taehyung breaks the quiet with a drawn out sigh.

"I feel terrible for Jimin. Don't tell him I said anything to you, but…I wish there was more I could do for him. He's always putting me first and trying to do things for me but never looks out for himself. I wish he would let me help too." Taehyung thumbs the material of his linens, tugging at the sheets without direction, then flips over to turn off his desk light. "I'm gonna go to sleep. I don't feel good right now." Jungkook watches the man crawl under his sheets through the dim yellow light of his own lamp. Taehyung places his back to Jungkook, and the bed creaks as he tries to settle into a comfortable position.

Jungkook still has over twenty minutes to kill before it's time for him to meet with you, so once he's certain that Taehyung's breathing is steady enough for sleep, he tugs the journal pressed between his mattress and the bed frame out. Flipping to Jimin's designated page, he quickly begins to scribble down all the new information, including new pages for Eunbi and Miyeon.

The sound of the door sliding open startles Jungkook out of his reverie, pen scraping a bit too roughly across the page and leaving an ugly black streak through the words. He jerks his head up to see who stands in the doorway. It's Nurse Irene, who is accompanied by an unfamiliar young nurse.

"Mr. Jeon and — I'm assuming Mr. Kim is asleep already?" Nurse Irene speaks in a loud and clear tone, no care about the fact that Taehyung is trying to sleep only a couple feet away from where she stands. Jungkook nods in response, pressing his journal closer to his lap and attempting to hide it from view as best he can. "Good. Sleep well, Mr. Jeon. Remember the rules." Nurse Irene's small monologue is a routine one, something she says every time she comes by to check the room at night, so it shouldn't come as a surprise to Jungkook. Yet the fact that he actually is planning on breaking the rules tonight sends a surge of panic through his system, and he looks away from the nurse before she recognizes the sudden panic on his features. The door shuts again a moment later, and Jungkook is in the clear. At least, clear enough to return to his musings over his journal and review all the work he added to the ink-marred pages. His peace and quiet doesn't last long, and before he knows it, there is another noise at the door — a series of sharp raps this time. Jungkook glances at his watch, and a string of curses leaves his lips as he drops his journal and shoves the pen somewhere between the pages then rushes to get to the door as quietly as he can without disturbing Taehyung. He doesn't check to see who is standing on the other side, because he already knows and he is well aware that you are not going to be happy to see him.

"You are fifteen seconds late." You grip Jungkook's sleeve and spit the words out between gritted teeth. He barely has enough time to slide the door shut before you are tugging him down the hallway.

"I-I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? Sorry doesn't give us more time! I specifically told you two and a half minutes was all we had. Now you've wasted thirty seconds and kept me waiting."

"Ah, you're being too loud!" Jungkook tries to keep his voice down. "Taehyung is trying to sleep." You pause at the revelation, and Jungkook sees worry flash across your eyes through the darkness. You shake away the emotion and turn away, hand dropping from his sleeve. Jungkook chases after you, struggling to make out your form against the darkness. "Do — do you have a flashlight? I can barely see."

"It's not that dark, you'll be fine." You retort and follow it up with a scoff that seems to echo through the hall. "Are you scared of the dark, Jungkookie?"

"What? No! I can't see well and have no clue where we're going. It's not like I know my way around here in the dark."

"Shh, people are trying to sleep. Just follow the sound of my voice if you think you'll get lost." Jungkook trails after you, and his eyes slowly become more adjusted to the darkness. Ah, I forgot to turn my lamp off. I hope that doesn't keep Taehyung up. He watches your back, being sure to not let too much distance grow between the two of you, and as silence takes over, his mind revisits the argument you had earlier in the day. And, of course, that little nagging comment which refuses to leave Jungkook's mind.

"You are nothing but a means to an end."

Nothing. He doesn't bring the topic up again — partially because he's concerned you might repeat what you said with more vehemence, but also because he can't even tell whether you remember it or not. Did she really mean what she said? Was it just a defense mechanism to protect herself? Jungkook gnaws on the inside of his lower lip, pinching the skin there until it breaks under the pressure of his teeth. When the metallic taste of blood touches his tongue, he stops and lets it coat the inside of his mouth as though it will prevent him from saying anything he might regret. Does she even feel sorry for saying those things?

Jungkook doesn't have the opportunity to continue down that train of thought because you've stopped and are bending over a door handle. He listens closely to the series of clicks and noises that come next, a few curses muttered from your lips slipping in on occasion, then the door swings open with a bit too much force and hits the wall with a bang. You huff and straighten your back, a cocky smirk spread across your lips that Jungkook can only see because your teeth are reflecting what little light there is. You step into the laundry room first, hitting the light switch as you go and filling the room with light that hurts to look at.

"That would've been a lot easier if we had thirty extra seconds of time." The backhanded comment stings as much as the open wound in Jungkook's mouth. He frowns and avoids looking at you. "Lighten up, Jungkookie. We have a job to do."

"Won't the cameras catch the light coming from here?" Jungkook redirects the conversation in hopes of changing the topic, and you take the bait.

"No, the cameras don't cover the laundry room or outside the door. They're mainly for checking the hallway with all the bedrooms and other areas where patients would be. The laundry room isn't exactly a place where we should be, so they didn't bother to put cameras over here." Why did she worry about us getting here so quickly then? Jungkook pushes that thought aside in favor of joining you by the dryers. "Um, go through all the dryers. I'll start looking through the clothes bins and cabinets." Jungkook does as asked, opening the dryers one at a time to search for Taehyung's bear.

"What does the bear look like?"

"It's just a typical stuffed bear, looks like any other one you'd see in a store."

"Why can't you just get a replacement or give Taehyung one of the other stuffed animals you have in your room?" Jungkook pulls his head out of one of the dryers to look at you over his shoulder.

"I can't just 'get him a new one', Jungkook. I gave Taehyung this specific bear for a reason, and giving him a new one won't fix anything."

"I'm confused still."

"And I'm not sure what you want me to say."

"I mean, Jimin said something similar earlier but it didn't make sense then either."

"I can't make you understand."

"Yeah, forget it." Jungkook huffs and moves onto the next dryer. You and Jungkook continue your respective searches in silence, neither bothering to attempt conversation again. Jungkook double checks the dryers again after his initial run-through but still comes up short on finding the bear. He looks back in your direction, watching as you dig through the same bin of clothes he saw you start with. "Any luck?" He asks and shuts the dryers.

"No. I can't find it. Did you see it in the dryers?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I double checked and everything."

"Let's switch. You go through the bins and cabinets, I'll check the dryers."

"Y/N, we already looked through them." Jungkook presses his palms against his knees and pushes himself up to stand straight.

"Maybe we missed something." You spin on your heel and go for the dryers, but Jungkook grabs hold of your arm.

"It's not here. We should go check the kitchen because looking over and over again won't help," he urges, motioning towards the door.

"We must have missed something."

"No, Y/N. It's not here. Please, can we go to the kitchen now?" Jungkook moves for the door, stepping a bit into the hall and pulling you along with him. You keep looking back to the laundry room even as Jungkook turns the lights off, as though the bear will somehow miraculously materialize while you stare but it doesn't.

"Whatever," you mutter once Jungkook shuts the door. "Let's just go." You run a hand through your loose hair, avoiding Jungkook's gaze. He follows your lead and walks a few feet behind you as you make your way to the kitchen. It is equally dark there, but you don't go for the light switch this time. "The cameras will catch it if we turn the main lights on. I'll get the pantry light instead." Jungkook nods at your explanation and looks at the fridge. It's still in the slightly shifted position he moved it to earlier in the day, albeit there is a slight dent in the side now from where he punched it. Jungkook runs a thumb over his bruised knuckles.

Faint yellow light streams across the floor of the kitchen, providing a minimal amount of visibility but enough for Jungkook to see the cabinets and you more clearly.

"I'll look through the cabinets and drawers over here. Go ahead and get started on those." You don't wait to see whether Jungkook does as asked and busy yourself with the searching instead. He mimics your actions. Part of him wants to make some conversation, if only to ease the anxiety that bubbles in his gut anytime he's left in silence with you.

All this effort for a bear…does it really help? It's been gone since I arrived, and Taehyung seems to be doing alright without it now. He wasn't fine the first day but for the past few days…I don't understand how much impact a stuffed animal can have.

No luck. Thirty minutes later, Jungkook has searched through his side of the kitchen at least three times, and he knows that you have as well but you show no signs of slowing down. He, on the other hand, it ready to call it quits and stop looking for the bear, which is obviously not here either. He collapses on the floor with a sign, plopping on the tile a bit too roughly, and his rear end stings from the impact. You glance back at him midway through a cabinet but don't comment on his decision to stop looking with you.

"Where else could it be?" He inquires once you return to digging through the cabinet.

"It could be in either Mingyu or Yesung's room."

"Jimin mentioned that he shares a room with Yesung."

"I'm aware of that."

"Why don't…why don't you just ask him to look through the room? That would be easiest, wouldn't it?" Jungkook is hesitant about the suggestion for some reason, as though he knows what your response is going to be before you say it, and you don't let him down when you speak next.

"I don't trust him to do a good enough job looking for it."

"Why? Do you think he's dumb or something?" The question holds a hint of hostility in it, and Jungkook didn't intend for that to slip in but he can't take it back now.

"No, I don't think that." Your tone is a bit too quiet, and you have your head in a cabinet so Jungkook has to lean forward to catch your words. "I simply don't trust him to look for it. I am the only person I can trust to do a good enough job looking, and that's why I've been double checking everything myself."

"Why don't you get someone you trust to help?"

"Oh? Like who?"

"Namjoon, Yoongi, Seokjin, I don't know," Jungkook mutters, dipping his head as he speaks. He doesn't want to bring up Yoongi again in case you retaliate with harsh words once more. You don't show any signs of anger though. Sighing, you shut the cabinet you're working on and move onto the next.

"That's…a different kind of trust, but I'm going to say anything more on that."

You continue searching in silence, not offering any more words for Jungkook, and he doesn't press for answers, unwilling to risk angering you. Different kind of trust? What does that mean? She doesn't trust them to help her look for a stuffed bear? That doesn't make sense…there must be something else. I don't believe that excuse. Then again, she told me not to mention anything about the plans to Yoongi or Namjoon. But why? What would they do if they knew? Wouldn't they help?

"Fuck!" Your sudden cuss stops Jungkook in his tracks, and he jolts at the sound of a cabinet slamming shut. You turn away from the cabinets, hands finding purchase on the counter and gripping the granite. "I can't find it anywhere. It's not here. It wasn't in the laundry room. God, we're so screwed. This means that Mingyu or Yesung has it in one of their rooms."

"So…what're we gonna do?"

"I don't know." For once, you seem to be at a loss.

"Are we gonna sneak into their room while they're gone?"

"No, I—we can't do that. Getting caught by Mingyu is too big of a risk. I would rather start a fist fight with him in the meal room than sneak into his room."

"I'll do it then."

"Huh?"

"I'll sneak into his room." Jungkook lifts himself off the floor and leans against the counter so that he's opposite you now, staring you in the eye with a newfound resolve. "I'm not scared of him."

"You think I'm scared of him? Mingyu isn't the problem."

"Then what is?"

"Come on, you've got a brain and can put two and two together." You shift, hip colliding with the edge of the counter, but you barely bat an eye at the contact. "Why do you think Mingyu didn't get in as much trouble as I did when we fought? Or why the nurses didn't interfere for so long until Yesung got involved."

"I thought it was just because they don't care. That's what Namjoon told me, at least."

"And you didn't think that maybe Namjoon was holding something back? He is just as scared as everyone else in the clinic. No one fucks with Mingyu for a reason. I just don't give a big enough shit to let him treat Taehyung the way he does. He can walk all over me any day of the week, but he can't mess with someone who can't or won't defend themselves." You stop your rant, glancing at the wall clock beside the fridge. Jungkook follows your line of sight to read the time as well, disappointed at the sight of it. "We still have plenty of time before the camera glitches again." Yeah, two whole hours of this mess. You move away from the counter, making another round of the cabinets, and Jungkook watches on with little amusement.

"Why didn't Mingyu in trouble, if it's not due to the nurses not caring?"

"I'm not going to spell it out for you, Jeon. Think about his name."

"It's Mingyu? I don't get what game you're trying to play. Why can't you explain it already?" You turn to face Jungkook just so that he can see the over-exaggerated roll of your eyes before responding.

"I thought you were smarter than this, but obviously not." Jungkook opens his mouth to counter your comment, but you lift a finger to keep him from speaking. "His name is Choi Mingyu. Do you remember who runs the clinic?"

"Dr. Choi, but isn't Choi a common name?"

"You've met with the good doctor. Tell me the family resemblance isn't there."

"I-I, well now that you—yes it's there."

"That's part of the reason why Mingyu is so arrogant and full of himself. His father is in charge of the clinic."

"Why is he here of all places though? There's tons of other clinics out there that he could be at. Why would his family want him here?"

"Why wouldn't they? It makes it easy. They can keep their kid in the same place that Dad is in charge of. On top of that, his own father gets to control the care as well. They don't care if it's counterproductive, but it is. It worsens half of Mingyu's problems and makes his ego even bigger, which affects us more than anyone else."

"Ah, I think — I think I get it now. If we get caught in Mingyu's room, he would tell his dad and make things living hell for us."

"Not necessarily, but it would probably extend our stays by at least another year, and we would lose our privileges on top of that."

"It's not like I have any privileges to revoke right now though."

"Do you really want to stay longer?"

"No, of course not."

"That's what I thought." You hum and laugh to yourself.

"Why do you and Mingyu have such a bad relationship anyways? Has it always been like this? How long has he been here?"

"Honestly? I don't even remember anymore, but it's been awhile. We've never gotten along. Ever since he got here, he's been thrusting his dumbass attitude in everyone's faces, but I didn't pay much attention to him at first because I didn't really care when I first arrived. His ego is too big for him to deal with anyone who disagrees with him, and our views don't line up that well. We don't think the same way, and sure you can agree to disagree with some people, but Mingyu doesn't operate like that. His ego made sense back when he was a teenager. I wrote him off as a typical teenage asshole then, although now I know that he's insufferable no matter what age he is." Jungkook nods along with your words, taking in all the information to remember for later when he has access to his journal again.

"I understand a bit better now," he says more to himself than to you. "How does Yesung fall into the picture though?"

"He is a lot like me, in that he's in it for himself. So, Yesung is searching for the easiest way to live in the clinic and thinks that by siding with Mingyu, he has that easy way out. To be honest, Yesung isn't a bad person, at least he hasn't always been, but he has become one by spending all his time with Mingyu. I'm sure things would be a lot different if Yesung cared about someone other than himself."

"I see." Jungkook pulls at a loose string on one of his socks, tugging it until the string becomes a loop, and puffs his cheeks full of air. "Thank you for explaining all that for me. And answering my questions. I know you don't really like being asked so many questions."

"Well, you aren't asking anything personal about me. You've only been asking about other people, and they happen to be people I don't care for, so I don't care about keeping my mouth shut for them. Besides, Mingyu would love the attention." You've reached the end of the line of cabinets by now and are about to make another lap around the kitchen to check again, but Jungkook calls out to stop you.

"Y/N, you don't have to keep searching the cabinets. The bear is obviously not there."

"No, no, no. It has to be here somewhere." You run your fingers through your hair and tug hard on the strands. Ignoring Jungkook's words, you move towards the cabinets again and open each one. "I'm not going to find it in time. Taehyung has been waiting long enough already, but he needs it. I need to get it for him. If I can't find it tonight, then I'm failing him. He needs me to find it." Jungkook moves around the counter and reaches out in an effort to stop you, but you move away from his outstretched arm too quickly for him to catch. "I know it's here somewhere. Mingyu and Yesung are dumb, they can't have many places to put it. It has to be here somewhere."

"Y/N," Jungkook sighs. He intercepts you in the midst of your war path to the next set of cabinets, pressing his fingers around your wrist. He nearly lets go immediately after out of sheer shock, because as his fingers dip under the fabric of your sleeve, he feels the ridges of scars across your skin. Rows of them, one after another against his fingers, and he subconsciously drags his thumb over them. I've never noticed—they don't feel fresh but…I never saw them before, did I? I don't remember, but it's not something I ever paid attention to. "Why are you panicking so much? It'll be okay. Taehyung has done well without the bear thus far, and he seems to be willing to wait until we can find it. If it takes a bit more time, then so be it." You look up at Jungkook, yellow light from the pantry hitting the side of your face and casting crude shadows over your features. Your brows knit together. Instead of pulling away and putting up your defensive walls, you drop your shoulders and bite your lower lip.

"I can't let him down, Jungkook. I can't. I have to do this for him, I need to help him now, and I can't waste any time."

"It'll be okay, Y/N. You just need to give it a bit more time. We will find it, I promise. You have been helping Taehyung enough as it is."

"It's not enough though."

"What's not enough?" He asks, trying to maintain eye contact as you start lowering your chin.

"Me." A searing ache spreads across Jungkook's chest. Under his grip, you're trembling, and he tightens his hold as though it will do something to make you feel better. "I'm not enough. I can't fix Taehyung by just being me. Hell, I don't know if I can fix it at all."

"It's okay to not be enough," Jungkook mutters. The low rumble of the fridge almost blocks out his words, but you hear him nonetheless, eyes flitting up to meet his. He isn't sure whether his words have any impact, but he also has no clue how to help you in this situation. How to comfort, help, console, anything. He doesn't know what the hell he's doing.

"You're a liar. Not being enough has never helped anyone." You frown, and Jungkook mirrors your expression with a frown of his own.

"No one is ever enough, Y/N. We can't be perfect for everyone, and you don't need to be." Your frown deepens, and you blink up at Jungkook. You don't react further than that for a few moments. Jungkook can almost see the gears turning in your mind as you take in his words. Then you pull away, and Jungkook has to release your wrist. You hug your arms to your chest, slouching forward as you do, and all he sees is how small and vulnerable you seem.

"I'm trying to keep you at a distance. Why don't you get that? I don't want you to get close to me."

"Why? I'm trying to help. I don't underst—”

"Stay out of my personal life." You shift, turning your back to him.

"But why, Y/N? I don't understand why you're trying so hard to push me away."

"I have hurt enough people by letting them get close and involved in my personal life. I'm not a good person, I only care about myself, so why would you want to get involved with that? I'm selfish and rude and insensitive."

"You aren't going to hurt me," Jungkook insists, and he takes a step closer to you.

"Again, you're a liar. That's exactly what Yoongi said, and he turned out to be a liar." Jungkook stops dead in his tracks. Eyes wide, mouth agape, he stares at the back of your head. She brought him up. Oh god, what do I say?

"What?"

That's all Jungkook can manage in the heat of the moment, although it might be because his throat is closing up from the panic coursing through his veins. All he can think about is your reaction earlier when you talked about Yoongi, and he would rather not hear you repeat the cruel words.

"You are a liar. Just like Yoongi was. You are going to turn out to be an exact replica of him, and I don't want that in my life again. It would be better to keep you at a distance than to hurt you the way I hurt Yoongi." You can't see the stutter in Jungkook's jaw, the way he moves his lips with no voice because he's at a loss. Being silent surely isn't the proper answer, so Jungkook struggles to manage a response.

"I-I, uh, didn't realize that's what happened. I thought — it doesn't seem like that's the case."

"We're fine now."

"Why? Because you pushed him away?" Jungkook presses his lips together in a moment of doubt and hesitation, then with a deep inhale of breath, he continues on with his train of thought. The pent up frustration in his gut pushes its way to the foreground, ready to spill out and bare itself to reality. "Is that what you're gonna do to Taehyung when he gets too close? Or Namjoon if he starts pushing boundaries? Are you doing that to Jimin now? You obviously push him away for some reason, but maybe it's simply because you can't stand the thought of being vulnerable in front of someone. What about Hoseok? You'll do that to him too? You claim it's so that you don't hurt them, but can't you see that's exactly what you're doing by be—”

A sharp pain spreads across his right cheek, and for a moment, Jungkook has no clue what happened. He doesn't get the change to finish his train of thought thanks to the shock that wipes his mind of what he was going to say. Without looking your way, he lifts shaking fingers to his cheek, which is suddenly cold compared to the rest of his body, and when he pulls it away, crimson paints his fingertips. Blood? Am I bleeding? He wipes at his cheek once more with his thumb, finding a smear of blood on his skin. Not mine though.

"Are you hurt?" He asks and lifts his chin to look you in the eye. He catches a glimpse of the expression of anger only a moment before it dissipates into bewilderment. You lean back, eyes following the movement of Jungkook's hands as he reaches forward to bare your palms to the ceiling. Sure enough, blood coats the skin there, and deep crescent cuts mar the middle of your palms, still oozing the red liquid. Your hands are trembling again, fingers twitching. "Is there a first aid kit in here?"

"I, um, yea there's one in the pantry," you whisper in response.

Jungkook pulls away and darts for the pantry in search of the object in mind. He digs around for a bit longer than he would like, having to shift random snack and cereal boxes to get to it, and upon returning to the kitchen, he finds you at the sink. You're running hot water over your palms, silently watching the blood leave red streaks in the clear liquid and fall into the sink unceremoniously.

"Why aren't you mad at me?" You ask under your breath.

"I deserved it. I've been told that I'm too vocal with my opinions, and it gets me into trouble more often than not." He shrugs as he pops the first aid kit open.

"I'm sorry that I hit you."

"You don't need to apologize."

A pause. Then,

"Yes I do."

"I deserved it."

"Okay."

He steals a glance at you out of the corner of his eye, then turns the water off for you and breaks open one of the packs of sterile alcohol prep pads.

"Is this what happened when you fought with Mingyu and Yesung? I saw the blood on Yesung's cheek but wasn't sure where it came from…”

"It happens a lot," you admit. Your fingers twitch when Jungkook presses the alcohol pad against your wounds, but you relax them a moment later after getting used to the sting. "Better than cutting myself, right?" He presses the pad a bit too hard, and you visibly wince at the force of the contact. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't joke about that."

Jungkook doesn't say anything as he turns away, dumping the used prep pads in the trash can. You've taken over when he returns to his post by your side, and you tug the roll of white gauze loose. Jungkook views your attempts to wrap your hands up by yourself. You begin to struggle with the motions not long after, so he pulls it away from you and begins to wrap your palms himself.

"Why do you think you'll hurt me if I get close?" He asks. Maybe it's the attempts to help you, or the fact that you feel a bit guilty for hitting him, but you actually relent and decide to answer his question.

"That's what happens to everyone who gets close to me."

"Is that the case for Namjoon and Seokjin?"

"In all honesty, Seokjin doesn't know me very well. He never asks personal questions. Often, he talks about himself instead, and I can't blame him for that because I know it's not something he can wholly control. As for Namjoon…there's always been some sort of unspoken agreement. He doesn't ask, maybe because he knows how I will react. But he does know a lot about me — a lot more than anyone else — but he doesn't push me the way some other people do. The same goes for the other way around. In my defense though, it's easier if I keep people at a distance."

"Who is it easier for?"

"Look, I know that it's selfish and wrong. I know I'm not a good person, but that isn't going to stop me from trying to protect myself."

"You are a good person. It's obvious from the way you talk about Taehyung and Hoseok, and I can tell that you want to help them more than anything else. It — well, it doesn't seem like you want to help yourself." Jungkook gently snips the gauze and locks it into place with two short pieces of tape. "You don't need to put up this facade to convince everyone that you're strong," he says while tucking everything back into the first aid kit.

"It's a bit ironic, I think. You are telling me all this, but you do the exact same things." You flex your fingers a bit around the new bandages, then meet Jungkook's eyes. "The strong facade isn't to hide myself. It's to be strong for other people who can't be strong themselves. I am being strong for Taehyung and Hoseok. Namjoon, Yoongi, Seokjin — they can take care of themselves and be strong for themselves, they've proven it to me before. But Taehyung and Hoseok don't have that sort of luxury."

"Why do you feel an obligation to do that for them? Is it some sort of repentance for past mistakes? Or a way to make up for not feeling good enough in the past?" Your eyes flit away from his, and Jungkook is sure that he's hit the nail on the head with his assumptions. The melancholic haze that drifts to cover your eyes in a dreary film reflects sadness.

"It's almost 3:33. We should head back soon." Jungkook purses his lips but doesn't say anything else. Instead, he returns the first aid kit to where he found it and comes back to the kitchen to find you clutching the edges of the sink, hovering over it. Jungkook announces his presence by flicking the light switch to the pantry off. You pull back from the sink, dragging the heel of your hand across your cheek before looking over at Jungkook. "I just want to make something clear before we go back. Whatever my reasons for helping Taehyung and Hoseok are…you don't need to know them. Helping is helping, and all I can hope is that it's enough."

"But if you don't help yourself—”

"Then who cares?"

"You should let people help you too," Jungkook says, putting a good amount of force behind his words. "I want to help you, and…if it means that you let me in even just a little bit, then I am more than willing to drop the strong facade I carry." You press your lips into a frown. Jungkook sighs as he realizes that you aren't going to offer any sort of response.

"Hello?"

Jungkook nearly jumps out of his own skin at the sound of the new voice. He jerks his head in the direction of the voice, and through the darkness, he finds a head of orange hair. Empty eyes. Blank expression. Staring forward, but not looking at anything in particular, and certainly not focused on either of the people standing in the middle of the kitchen. You, on the other hand, seem completely unfazed by the intrusion. You simply shift your head towards the sound, but once your eyes recognize Hoseok standing at the edge of the kitchen, you lunge forward.

"Hoseok?" You dart around the counter to get closer to the man. "Did something happen? Are you alright? What are you doing up? Why you not in your room?" You spew the questions at him.

"I-I — do I know you?" Jungkook thinks Hoseok is directing the question at him for a split second, but Hoseok is staring you in the eye instead. You freeze, the hand that you had outstretched to him falling to your side limply. Jungkook's heart clenches as he reads the expression that flashes across your face, one that bears sadness and a sense of familiarity as though this situation has repeated itself time and time again.

"No, you don't. Are you alright?"

"I'm not sure how I got here. I was walking in the hallway to a door at the end of the hall and then all the sudden, I'm here. I heard some voices, and they told me to go here I think. They directed me here. It was Yunho, Yunho told me to come here." Hoseok speaks with a flat tone, nothing showing through his stony exterior, and Jungkook watches on with increasing discomfort.

"He did? That's nice of him. He brought you here to us, so we can help you now."

"You know Yunho? Does Yunho know you?"

You offer a weak smile.

"Yes, Hoseok. I know Yunho very well. He's a friend of mine."

"Oh. I see. Are you a friend of mine too then?"

"I am. Can you tell me which door you were trying to get to earlier?"

"It was a door. A white door with a silver handle, and you know the door it — it sli-slides open instead of opening normally. And there's a plaque with a name on it — the name, um, the name was L/N Y/N. I knocked, I think, but there was no answer. I remember a voice telling me to go there whenever I felt like I was in trouble though. The voice — a girl's voice — she told me to go there when I needed her help, but she wasn't there. Then Yunho started telling me where to go instead."

"And now you're here."

"Yea, now I'm here."

"Well, Hoseok, uh…my name is L/N Y/N. Yunho must have remembered that I wasn't in my room and brought you here instead."

"You know Yunho?"

"Yes, I do." Your voice wavers a bit, smile falters, and you take a step closer to Hoseok. "I'm supposed to help you whenever you feel like you're in trouble. How are you?"

"I, well, I'm not good. The mean voices are telling me things again."

"Are they? Did you listen to them?"

"Yea…yes. I don't feel good."

Jungkook glances at his watch. 3:36. We missed our chance.

"Okay, I understand. Hoseok, do you want me to come back to your room with you?"

"I don't know. Yes. No. I'm not sure. I don't feel good though."

"Alright, let's walk back—Hoseok!" Jungkook snaps his head up as you shout. Hoseok stumbles forward, wobbling on his feet, then collapses. You lunge forward to catch him, but his weight presses down on you too hard, and suddenly both you and Hoseok are on the floor. "Shit. Shit! Fucking hell. Fuck!" You slap the ground, and the sound echoes.

"What do I do? What do I need to do? How do I help?" Jungkook asks as he rushes to meet you on the floor. Hoseok isn't moving anymore. Oh God…what happened?

"Go get someone! Now!"

"Who am I supposed to get?"

"I don't fucking care! Get someone! Hurry!" You yell. As your eyes meet his, Jungkook sees the shine of tears welling there, and he stumbles back at the sight.

"Okay, okay. Okay. Don't worry. I'll get someone. It'll be okay, Y/N."

"Fuck, no it won't! I was supposed to be there. I told him to come to my room, and I wasn't there!"

"Y/N, please. I am gonna get someone. Everything is going to be okay, I swear. I'll be right back."

"Fucking hurry," you shout, voice coming out a bit hoarse this time. Jungkook glances at you one more time before turning to sprint out of the kitchen. He doesn't think twice about the cameras in the hall. His mind is reeling so much at his point that he doesn't even know where he's going.

Is he okay? What happened? What the hell is going on?

Jungkook scans each plaque as he passes them, barely taking in the names, before stopping at a door near the end of the hall. He bangs his fist against the white panels, so much force and vehemence in his strikes that his fist stings from the impact. He keeps knocking and knocking, head craned to look down towards the mouth of the hallway as he does. When the door slides open, Jungkook nearly falls forward because his fist doesn't meet a hard surface anymore, and someone steadies him before he falls flat on his face.

"What the hell do you want?"

...

a/n: sorry this took so long to get out!! school kicked my butt recently, but i am very happy and proud of this chapter! i hope you guys enjoy it as much as i do!

remember to check in with the survey here! i love getting your feedback!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

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parkjmini · 6 years

Text

history | pjm

➳ park jimin scenario

you didn't come to see your friends, I know you came for me. I like your dress, but you fit better in my wrinkled tee. We moved on to newer things, but we got history

➳ word count: 2156

➳ genre: angst/fluff ig

a/n: hey yall, ik ive been pretty MIA. im trying my best to find time to stay active. college rlly sux, but this is based off of the song, history by rich brian, it’s a really good ass song and it reminded me a lot of jimin. and i had this in my drafts ever since October so im glad i was able to finish it on my birthday and to release it as a birthday present for myself and everyone else that i finally released some content.

You were more than an ex-girlfriend to Jimin. You were his whole world for a brief moment of his life. If anyone were to value you anything less, he would not hesitant to defend you. You and Jimin dated in sophomore year of high school, almost being destined as high school sweethearts, almost.

Long distance had become strenuous for the both of you, mainly you. Jimin didn’t stray far from your hometown, but you had traveled miles away. It wasn’t until your second year of college when things were becoming clear that you two were not working out.

Phone calls slowly became a hassle. You never really came back home for the holidays, so Jimin saw you a lot less. It was simply two separate lives and no matter how much Jimin wanted to stay together, the relationship had been taking a toll on you.

Jimin was definitely more emotionally stable than you were. He didn’t have to move far from home for college, so his support system was still close. His best friends, Taehyung, Hoseok and Jungkook went to the same college as him. He didn’t need you as much as you needed him, physically.

You were thousands of miles away from your family and friends. You went to the college of your dreams, but you had to start over. So being in an old relationship in the next chapter of your life was hard. You were meeting new people every week your first quarter in school, but every happy face felt fake. There was no familiarity and the loneliness ate you up by the end of your second quarter.

Seeing Jimin through your screen only made you miss him more. Hearing his voicemails made you cry harder. You’d always think you’d adjust, eventually, but you never did. And admitting all that pain to Jimin was the hardest thing you had to do.

The breakup was not bad, but it also was not the best. You knew you couldn’t stay friends with Jimin, because you were still madly in love with this man and so was he. To move on, you had to avoid any contact with him and that didn’t sit well with him. He was too stubborn to move on. He kept telling you that he’d wait for when you’d come back for him.

Those were not the words you wanted to hear. Jimin respected your decision to break up, but it was his own to decide whether or not to move on. Frankly, you thought he’d give up on you the moment the second quarter started. It was college, and you were never the one to hold him back from having fun and going to parties. The boys went to parties practically every weekend, some were for the sake of meeting new people to hook up with.

As much as his friends did those things, Jimin remained incredibly loyal to you. No other girl could compare to his girlfriend and if someone were to make a move on him, he’d stop it immediately. He’d text you when he got back to his dorm after every party, drunk or sober (most of the times, he was drunk). He didn’t hesitate to brag about his wonderful girlfriend to his entire hall. Jimin was all about you, it had always been like that for him.

So it was no surprise when he reacted the way he did during the breakup. Jimin swore that he’d come back for you one day. You meant everything to him and he knew you like the back of his hand; he knew you better than yourself. You two had a history that no one else had.

Jimin was coming down for the long weekend with the boys for a close friend’s weekend long birthday extravaganza. It had been six months since you two last spoke, but the mention of your college caused his heart to shake.

“I highly doubt we’d see her at the party. Namjoon told me that he has never bumped into (y/n).” Hoseok waved off Jimin’s nerves before Namjoon greeted the boys with open arms and a big grin.

“My favorites, I’m glad you were all able to make it down here for my big birthday bash.” He wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s broad shoulders and bumped at Jimin’s arm, “lighten up. You won’t see her here tonight.”

“And what makes you so sure about that?”

Namjoon shrugged nonchalantly, “you’ll be too drunk to register her face if she does show up.”

His statement earned several laughs from the boys, but Jimin could only roll his eyes. He really debated on simply going home and skipping this weekend trip because now, he was too close for comfort. He was on your territory and he wasn’t sure what to do if he saw you again.

Six months was not enough time for Jimin to fully move on. He slept around with a few girls, but you were always in the back of his mind. Whenever he closed his eyes, your sweet smile would flash in the darkness. He would have reoccurring dreams about your shared memories. He’d hate to admit it, but he really missed you.

But your words rang in his ears whenever he would selfishly indulged in your past, “I don’t want to see you for a very long time, Jimin. I just won’t be able to do it. I won’t be able to move on if we stayed friends.” He wanted to uphold your wishes because you still meant so much to him, it was the least he could do.

Jimin entered Namjoon’s huge house, the scent of alcohol and weed filling his system and music traveling through his pulse. There were occasionally greetings from a few mutuals and smiles from pretty girls, but Jimin went through the house without much defeat.

Jungkook was lost in the crowd after passing by a group of girls. Namjoon was bombarded with hugs and birthday wishes. Jimin headed towards the standing bottles of alcohol, pouring himself a cup full of something dark. He sipped his drink, scanning the house as he leaned against the kitchen island.

He finished his drink with impressive speed, not entirely aware of the rate he was consuming. The moment he turned around to pour himself another cup, a voice caused him to freeze. “Can you also pour me one?”

He had thought the alcohol was tricking him into believing the voice belonged to you, but when he turned around... he knew it wasn’t the alcohol messing with him. “(y/n).”

You blinked back at his stunned figure, equally as shocked. He admired how good you looked. He had to stifle in a laugh at your revealing, black dress. It hung loose around your shoulders and wrapped around your middle --- the dress he bought you for your guys’ 2nd anniversary.

He wasn’t sure what to believe at this point --- the fact that you’re actually standing in front of him after such an extensive time or the fact that you still wore the things he bought you.

“What are you doing here?” Your voice was just above a whisper and your hand automatically went to twirl the necklace around your neck. It had a small pendant of the first letter of your name and your fingers instinctively went towards it whenever you got nervous.

Jimin set down his drink, “I’m close friends with Namjoon.”

“No way. My friend has the same writing class as him.” You tried to act normal, like you didn’t bump into your ex-boyfriend at a party. He looked exactly like how you left him, maybe a bit more tired and gray. Oh how you missed his soft, plump lips or how strong his arms felt.

As much as you wanted to forget about him, he always resurfaced in your mind at the strangest times. You could be studying and he’d pop up. You’d be clubbing with your friends and you’d think he was across the room. You still held onto him.

“It was good seeing you again, (y/n).” Jimin said before he handed you a cup of your favorite mix.

“Wait---” The words were flowing out of your mouth before you could catch them. “---Do you want to dance?” You couldn’t see him go anymore.

His eyes lit up and he smiled, something that always ran chills down your spine. “You want to dance with me?”

“Why not?” You smiled back and finished your cup before hitting the crowds of drunk, dancing people. You had gotten really close to Jimin, to the point where your chest was against his.

You could tell he was holding back, like he was trying so hard to respect your space still. But you blinked back up at his sad eyes, and noticed they were filled with love and wonder. And almost every memory you two shared came crushing down, wrapping you in nostalgia.

Grabbing his hands, you let them rest on your waist and his eyes widen at your bold action. Maybe it was the alcohol doing all the work, but you really wish he’d stop holding back. You always remembered Jimin to have huge restraint and patient. He was strong willed --- stubborn --- and was reserved. But once his boundaries were gone, he was something amazing.

“Why are you holding back, Jimin?” You asked before you could process the question. An evident pout appeared on your face and his hands dropped from your body.

“I can’t, (Y/N). I refuse to give you all of me just for you to hurt me again.” He whispered and walked off the dance floor. That was one of the biggest blows you’ve ever felt. You hurried on after him, trying to find a needle in a hay stack.

It was difficult, everyone blended with one another and you weren’t fully sober to play Where’s Jimin. You spotted a frantic Jungkook being mauled by girls left and right, so you hurried toward the crowd. You grabbed Jungkook by his collar and dragged him out of the sea of desperate girls.

You two stood outside of the house and Jungkook took several deep breaths before thanking you for saving him, “now, what do you want?”

“Where did Jimin go?”

“Why do you care where he went?” He said leaning against the stature of the overflowing building. The stern look on his face caused much intimidation and it was as if he had forgotten all the great memories you two had shared as friends.

Sighing, you racked your brain for any reasonable explanation besides that you want to see him. It was selfish of you to not consider how Jimin still felt about you, but you had been restraining yourself from viewing his social medias and even thinking about him at night. It was as if something went off when you did see him, you simply wanted more.

“Because I want to apologize to him for what had just happened. Please.” You were on the verge of tears and Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“Follow me.” He grumbled and started walking up the stairs to the second floor. He walked past several doors in the hallway before reaching the end. He knocked a specific pattern and the door cracked open slightly. Jungkook gestured for you to enter and whispered, “don’t hurt him anymore. That is all I ask of you.” Jungkook walked away as you entered the big room.

Jimin sat on the edge of the neatly made bed, back facing you. “Whatever it is, Kook, I don’t want to hear it right now.” His voice was hoarse and raspy.

“Jimin, I’m sorry for pushing you out there like that.”

His body turned stiff, like a thief caught in a crime. He cleared his throat, “it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not fine. I was never considerate to how you felt, and I want to change that.” The bed shifted with you weight pulling the mattress. Jimin’s warmth surround your left side and it hurt for you to remember how safe you felt in it.

He was hesitant to reach for your hand, but you grabbed his to reassure him. “I’m still so in love with you.” He admitted. His thumb ran across your knuckles. “Every time I see you, I feel nostalgic. There is no one in the whole world that knows me like you do and that means something. You will always mean something to me.”

And you blinked at him with words unspoken. Your heart was shaking in the palms of his hands. A part inside of you felt okay with that, like if were to let anyone ruin your life, it would be him.

Jimin picked up your chin. Looking into his glossy, red eyes, he read every bit of you and searched for the one sign he needed. Then he saw it, the familiar small twinkle in your eyes, and he knew exactly how you felt.

#jiminnetwork #jimin scenarios #jimin scenario #jimin #park jimin #jimin imagines #jimin imagine #jimin smut #bts #bts jimin #jimin bts #bts scenario #bts scenarios #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop scenario #bts smut

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taetaespeaches · 6 years

Note

Hello are you opening request for song fic? If yes can you write based on taylor swift’s song “speak now” with jimin please? thank you:)

“The timing isn’t right? Make the timing right.”

Jimin x Reader

Word count: 3K

a/n: I had a lot of fun writing this, but holy wow it was achallenge. I had so many ideas for it, but I didn’t know which direction I wantedto take it. Also, this is my first attempt at a song fic, so I hope it turned out ok. Thanks for sending the request, anon. Ihope you like it! :)

Lyrics: I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion, but you are not the kind of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl

This is surely not what you thought it would be. I lose myself in a daydream where I stand and say, Don’t say "Yes", run away now I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door. Don’t wait or say a single vow, you need to hear me out, and they said, "Speak now."

“You should just crashthe wedding,” Jeongguk told you with a grin from his position on the flooracross from you where you sat on your sofa.

“Yeah, that would be socool,” Taehyung excitedly slapped your knee from where he sat next to you. “Claimyour man, take what’s yours,” he agreed with an enthusiastic nod.

“I’m not going tocrash the wedding, you idiots,” you told them with a scoff. “She literally uninvitedme. They don’t want me there for a reason—”

“Yeah that reason beingthat you and Jimin slept together, what, two years ago?” You glared at Jeongguk.“You know, there’s a reason why you make her feel so insecu—”

“That’s enough,” Yoongiscolded from the doorway, making his friends look at him in surprise.

“But, Hyung, it’strue. She practically forced Jimin to propose just to prove he wasn’t in love—”

“Jeongguk.” Yoongiinterrupted harshly. When they saw Yoongi’s glare, they dropped theconversation, moving on to tell you about the last movie they saw.

Sitting in the nearly deserted diner after a night ofrestlessness, you thought back to the memory of the conversation you had with thetwo nimrods two nights ago. “Crash the wedding,” you mumbled to yourself in annoyance,ignoring the latter part of the memory.

The steam from your coffee warmed your hand as your finger mindlesslytraced the rim of the mug. Resting your head on the table, you hummed againstyour arm as you thought back to when he shared the news with you.

Jimin was definitelymore put together than you were, but his eyes were puffy with sleepiness. Youalways loved his bare face, especially in the morning. As you shoved another biteof pancake into your mouth, he interrupted your admiration of him.

“We’re gettingmarried,” he said, almost regretfully.

Nearly choking on the pancake,you dropped the eating utensil onto your plate, reaching for your cup of water.Jimin flinched forward in an attempt to help you. “I’m sorry, what?” Youfinally croaked out, Jimin staring at you with intensity. As your mind wrapped aroundhis words, taking in their meaning, you attempted to joke to hide your truefeelings. “Don’t you have to propose to me first?”

“Y/n,” he saidseriously.

Sitting back, yousighed. “I’m sorry, I just—you’ve only been together for a year.” Shaking hishead, he leaned back as well, crossing his arms across his chest. “Do you even reallyknow her?”

“What’s that supposedto mean—”

“Nothing, Jimin, don’tget defensive. I’m just, surprised, I’m sorry. One year is nothing to me, butyou’re not me, I know that. When, uh, when did you propose? Wait, were you theone who proposed?”

“Yeah, I proposed,” hechuckled with a scoff. “Yesterday evening. At dinner.” Raising your eyebrows, younodded. “I wanted to tell you before anyone else. I thought you should hear itfrom me.”

Nodding, you musteredup every bit of strength to pull your lips into a small smile. “Thanks fortelling me.”

With a single laugh,he looked at his plate of food, pushing the contents around with his utensil. “Youcould at least pretend to be happy for me, jeez, y/n.”

“It’s not that I’m nothappy for you, Jimin,” you assured him. “It’s just, are you sure?” Your eyesexpressed concern for your friend and his happiness, but also your own.

Looking up at you,eyes not as bright as they usually were, Jimin shrugged. “Is anyone ever sure?”Admiring the man in front of you, you wanted to tell him yes. Yes, it was possibleto be so completely sure. Instead, you shrugged back.

Jolting out of your thoughts, you reached for your phonethat was vibrating against the table, causing the whole surface to tingle. Youreyes taking a moment to focus, your mind scrambled to figure out who would becalling you, most of your friends being occupied with groomsmen duties at your bestfriend’s wedding.

The name that displayed across the screen made your heartdrop into your gut. Hesitating a moment, your finger hovered over “Decline”.But you didn’t have the strength, or control or whatever you want to call it,to let this call go.

“Hello?” You barely mustered the greeting, your rapidlybeating heart making you feel breathless.

“Y/n,” the voice sighed. “This is all wrong.”

“Yoongi…”

“I tried to sit back and trust in Jimin’s decisions. I triedto believe that he really is in love with her, but fuck, y/n, he’s not. This isall wrong. I can’t watch him go through with this,” he paused, waiting to heara reaction, but you gave him none, too occupied with trying to wrap your headaround his words. “Look, whether he ends up with you or not, that’s up to youboth, but he can’t marry this person. He’s too fucking good for them. We allknow it, but if any of us really knowsit, it’s you, y/n. You know how goodhe is. He deserves better.”

Tears brimming your eye lids, you spoke shakily through thereceiver. “Fuck, Yoongi, I know he deserves better. Of course, he deservesbetter. But… what am I supposed to do about any of this?” A tear slipped downyour cheek as you let out a shaky breath.

“He’s wants you, y/n.” Those words felt like a stab to yourheart.

“Don’t say that, you know that’s not true,” you said sadly.

“He’s in love with you,” Yoongi twisted the knife.

“You’re being cruel,”you choked out.

“He told me.” All the oxygen in the room disappeared.

“—What?” You barely whispered out.

“He told me. Last night. He was drunk, but I know he meantit, y/n.”

Jimin showed up atYoongi’s place, his forehead resting against the door as he pounded on it witha fist. Yoongi hurried through his home to pull the door open, sending a drunk Jimininto Yoongi’s arms as he fell forward, losing his support from the door.

“Jesus,” Yoongi caughtthe younger man. Looking down at his younger friend for a moment before pullinghim inside and shutting the door. “Jimin, what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m drunk,” Jimininformed his hyung.

Scoffing with a laugh,Yoongi told him, “Yeah, I know,” as he guided the drunken man to his sofa. AsJimin fell onto the couch, Yoongi stared at him, concern filling his head. “Whatis going on, Jimin?”

Shaking his head,Jimin looked up at Yoongi and shrugged. “Just wanted to have some fun tonight.”

“You get marriedtomorrow,” Yoongi informed the younger man. Jimin nodded exaggeratedly, leaningback to fall against the back of the sofa. With a huff, Yoongi left the room toget a bottle of water for the drunk mess sprawled out on his sofa. He listenedas Jimin hummed to himself.

Returning to the room,Yoongi unscrewed the bottle and held it towards Jimin. “Drink this. Try tosober up. You’re gonna look and feel like shit tomorrow.” Yoongi sounded angry,but really, he was just worried about his younger friend.

Jimin finally leanedforward, taking the bottle and lifting it to his lips, chugging over half of itin one go. When he lowered it to his lap, Yoongi took the bottle to screw thelid back on, setting it on the table.

“I’m in love with them,”Jimin said quietly. “You know that, right?”

Staring at his youngerfriend, Yoongi’s eyes scanned Jimin’s face, trying to decipher what was goingon in his mind. “Well I would hope so,” Yoongi chuckled. “You’re gettingmarried to her. Tomorrow, remember?”

“No, not her.” Jiminshook his head in disagreement. Yoongi’s heart dropped at those words, knowingexactly what Jimin meant before he even said his next words. “Y/n. I’m in lovewith y/n.”

Crouching down in frontof Jimin, Yoongi empathetically watched his friend as the tears gathered inJimin’s eyes. “The timing was never right,” Jimin whispered. Putting his handson Jimin’s knees, Yoongi frowned at his younger friend. “But I’m in love withthem. I just needed to tell someone. Before it was too late.”

Nodding, Yoongi told Jimin,“Ok.”

“So now you know,right?” A tear fell down Jimin’s face.

“Yeah,” Yoongi tsked. “I’vealways known.”

Nodding, Jimin lookeddown to his lap. “Good. As long as someone knows.”

Silence ringed through the phone receiver. “What—what do youexpect me to do?” Crash the wedding?”You attempted to joke.

“Yes.” Yoongi’s short response caused your heart to skip abeat as you scoffed.

“You sound like Jeongguk,” you huffed.

With a single breathy laugh, Yoongi said, “Well, the kid isan idiot, but sometimes Jungkookie can be a really fucking smart idiot.”

Losing yourself in a day dream, you thought of what wouldhappen if you stormed through the church doors and yelled out to Jimin that hecan’t do this. That he can’t get married to her. Because she’s not you. Becauseyou’re in love with him. The thought didn’t seem horrible.

But then you imagined all the horrified looks you’d get fromeveryone in the room. You imagined how his bride would feel. She wasn’t a goodperson, she was controlling and bitter and she was trying her hardest to be theonly person in Jimin’s life, but could you really do that to her?

“Yoongi,” you sighed. “I can’t…”

“Y/n, I am telling you, if you don’t get here right now,you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.” You took a deep breath, hangingonto Yoongi’s words. “Fuck, y/n, you’re in love with him too, I don’t know whythat’s so hard for you to admit. Put your happiness first for once. Dosomething for yourself, just this once. And if you can’t do it for you, then,do it for Jimin. He needs you.”

“The timing was never right for me and Jimin,” you toldYoongi sadly. Your words, so reminiscent of Jimin’s words last night, angeredYoongi.

“That’s bullshit,” he said bluntly. “You’ve both been hidingbehind this whole ‘the timing isn’t right’ façade for years, but the truth is,you’re just terrified of losing each other, and you can’t lose something youdon’t have, right? But that’s bullshit. You’re losing him right now, y/n. Thetiming isn’t right? Make the timing right.”

You know that feeling when you get the wind knocked out ofyou, and panic sets in? You can’t catch your breath, you can’t figure out whatis going on around you. All you feel is the anxiety of not being able to breath.Like you’re in some sort of paralysis. That’s how you had felt for months, pendingthis very day. The day your best friend was to get married to the wrong person.For months, you felt winded, breathless, paralyzed, scared as hell.

Yoongi’s words were the breath of air that rushed throughyour lungs, releasing your body from the panic. From the anxiety. It was the clarityyou needed. Suddenly, the oxygen returned to the janky diner, allowing you tocatch your breath for the first time in months.

“You know, I’m not really the kind of person who should bebarging in on a white veil occasion,” you told Yoongi, making him smile, knowinghe got through to you.

“Maybe you should be.”

That’s how you ended up running down the block towards the churchwhere Jimin was preparing to get married. As you appeared in front of thechurch, you halted in your tracks, spotting Jimin sprinting out the door, his bowtieundone, hanging loosely around his neck.

“Jimin?” You called out in confusion and alarm. Why was he running out of the church? Stoppingfor a moment, he stared at you, tears gathering in his eyes. Giving him a lookof concern, he suddenly strode towards him, making you move as well, meetinghim halfway. His arms instantly wrapped around you in the tightest hug you’dever felt, your arms securing around the back of his neck. Your bodies swayedtogether as you both transferred your weight from one leg to the other.

“I couldn’t do it,” he said into your ear, voice breaking.At the sound of his emotions, you pulled away from him, cradling his facebetween your hands, scanning his features for a hint to what he was feeling.

Tears forming in your eyes, you ran your thumbs comfortinglyalong his cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Jimin.” His emotions overcoming him, tears randown his cheeks. “Are you ok?”

Nodding, he pulled you into a hug again, relaxing in your arms.“I’m ok. I just… I didn’t want to hurt her.”

“I know, Chim,” you whispered, tucking his head underneathyour chin, trying to protect him from any pain.

“I’m sorry for everything,” he told you sincerely.

“I’m sorry too.” Tears ran down your cheeks as you held yourbest friend for the first time in months. As he pulled away, he reached insidehis tux pocket, pulling out a worn piece of paper. Looking at you with wide eyes,he pushed the paper into your hand. Gesturing at it, you slowly lowered yourgaze to the paper, opening it to read its contents.

Your eyes immediately fell to the middle of the paper, wherein your handwriting was scrolled, “I’m being selfish, but I just can’t help feellike he should be marrying me. I’m trying to be happy for him, but, it wassupposed to be us. Wasn’t it always supposed to be Jimin and y/n?”

You remembered thememory immediately.

Taehyung’s living roomwas full of laughter and yelling as your friends excitedly reminisced about thepast. However, you were distracted with thoughts of Jimin, as he stood therewith his arm around her. Taehyung, being one of your closest friends andconfidants, noticed your gloomy aura. From his position on the floor acrossfrom you on the other end of the coffee table, he stared at you, studying yourexpression. Feeling eyes on you, you finally looked at Taehyung, making him immediatelyflash you a look of concern, pulling his eyebrows together in confusion,silently asking you what was wrong.

With wide eyes, youforced a smile and shook your head. Shooting him a thumbs up, he glared at you.He knew better.

After a brief silentexchange between you both, Taehyung pointed to the notebook in front of him,which he had been scribbling lyric ideas in all night. Quickly writing somethingdown, he pushed it across the table to you.

Looking down, you sawhe had written, “Tell me.” Shootinghim a look, the intensity of his glare increased. Giving in, you sighed,writing out your reply. Sliding the notebook back to Taehyung, you watched ashe read the response.

When he glanced up tomeet your eyes, tears were present in his orbs. He immediately stood up,walking towards you, pulling you to your feet, and dragging you to his room.When you entered his bedroom, he instantly embraced you in a comforting hug.

“You’re right,” hetold you sadly. “And it’s not selfish. It should be you.”

You had no idea Taehyung saved that piece of paper, just topresent it to Jimin on his wedding day.

“Did Taehyung—?” You dropped off as Jimin nodded.

Smirking at the recent memory, he laughed breathily. “He wasgoing to sneak it into my pocket to replace my vows with it, but then herealized that may not be the best way to go about things.” Laughing fondly atyour friend, you wiped the tears off your cheeks. “When he showed it to me andexplained what it was about, shit y/n. There was no way I could go through withall this,” he gestured to the church.

“Really?” You said, new tears forming. Jimin leaned in tokiss your forehead softly.

“I went and broke things off right away. She was pissed, ofcourse, but… It’s always been you,” he assured you. “The timing was just alwayswrong.”

Shaking your head, you smiled. “Sometimes, we have to make the timing right.” Cocking his headto the side, he scrunched his eyebrows in confusion.

“Ok, where did that come from?” The confusion in hisexpression increased. “You’re always the one who said the ‘stars will alignwhen it’s right’.”

Laughing, you nodded. “Well, Tae’s not our only meddling friend.”Jimin’s eyebrows popped up in surprise, but then he realized who the otherfriend was, recalling last night.

With tearful eyes, he asked you, “Yoongi?” You nodded in confirmation.

“He called me.” A wide grin graced Jimin’s face.

“Wow, those sly—”

“Holy shit! I didn’t think you’d actually crash the wedding,” Jeongguk yelled out as the shookest expressionyou’d ever seen presented itself on his face. He was walking out of the churchdoors, the rest of your friends piling out behind him, all looking eithersurprised or thrilled, or both.

Taehyung audibly gasped as he walked outside, eyes fallingon you and Jimin holding each other. “Ok, you guys have to name your first born after me,” he beamed fondly at youboth, his two best friends.

A disgusted expression appeared on Yoongi’s face. “Why you?I brought them together.” As the two men argued, amusing the rests of themembers, Jimin groaned next to you, pulling you into his arms again, buryinghis face in your neck.

“They’re never going to drop this,” he whined against yourskin.

(Thus, began the great debate: Who would be the namesake forJimin and y/n’s first born. The members would present arguments and place betsfor years to come.)

Giggling, you threaded your fingers through Jimin’s hair. “Maybewe should just name our kid Jeongguk. Just to piss them off,” you whispered toJimin with a mischievous smile, making Jimin look up at you fondly. Adoringly.

With a stunning smile, he rested his forehead against yourown. “I’m so in love with you,” he whispered.

You should have been shocked. It was the first ‘I’m in love withyou’. But instead, it just felt natural. It felt right. So instead of making a bigdeal out of his first official confession, you smiled back, breathing a sigh ofcontent. “I am so head over heels in love with you too.”

#jimin #jimin imagine #jimin imagines #jimin drabble #jimin scenario #jimin fluff #jimin angst #bts #bts imagine #bts imagines #bts song fic #bts drabble #bts scenario #bts fluff #bts angst #anon #song fic #requested #thanks for reading

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btsanonwriting · 6 years

Text

Song inspired scenario - Bruises - Lewis Capaldi

BTS Scenario based on This song give it a listen to if you want but it isn’t required to understand :) Each scenario is based on a lyric.

Angst I suppose?

Jin

I’ve been holding onto hope that you’ll come back when you can find some peace.

Months had passed since you and Jin had finally called things quits. It wasn’t an easy decision but it was a choice you both had to make. There was only so many arguments and so many tears you could take. It wasn’t an unhappy relationship completely. You’d think back on all the happy times you had and there was a lot. That is what made the break up so hard. You couldn’t even break up face to face. A facetime call at 4am while Jin was on tour was how you broke up. Both of you in tears trying to cling onto the love that was there. The break-up wasn’t a case of falling out of love or a toxic relationship it was simply the pressure and the time a part had become too much. Your relationship became a thing of the past and you were spending less time together than ever before. Still every time Jin went on stage his eyes would scan the crowd hoping to see your face standing cheering him on again that you often chose to do. Seeing him perform was one of your favourite things. Every performance he’d break his own heart all over again. He’d talk himself into believing that today was the day you’d be there, that you’d go back to him but every night as the music stopped and the cheers turned into silence you weren’t there.

Yoongi

Cause every word that I’ve heard spoken since you left feels like a hollow street

There was only so many times you can hear “Things will get better.” “It’s time to move on.” “You need to let go.” And Yoongi’s personal favourite “Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.” He was going to go insane if people just didn’t let him breathe. He knew the words were spoken with his best interest at heart but he couldn’t take it anymore. No words were going to make him feel better all he needed was you back in his life. How could he not see it coming? You were calling less, holding his hand less, hugging him looser, turning your head when he kissed you. All the signs were there yet he didn’t see it coming. He had hidden himself away from the world, locking himself in his studio pouring his heart and soul into his music. If heartbreak had to happen at least he could escape in music, but even then you were the only thing on his mind. Every lyric he wrote down he could relate to you, every beat he created made him want to call you up to ask your opinion; like he had done many times before. Your opinion was the only one that mattered to him. No amount of words spoken would ever change the fact he was madly in love with you, and probably always would be.

Hoseok (gif doesn’t go but I refuse to use a crying gif)

And every breath that I’ve been taken since you left feels like a waste on me

A lifetime. That is what had past since you and Hoseok had first got together. A marriage, 2 children, 4 grandchildren and over 100 memories together had all lead up until this moment. The hand he as holding was no longer warm but cold to touch. The eyes he once loved looking into were firmly closed shut. The heart he heard beating so softly when he lay his head on your chest had become silent. The memories of your life together played over and over in his head as he watched your life become nothing. He would never forget the day you agreed to marry him, even to this moment he couldn’t believe his luck. You had both been bickering all day over small things. The lack of time he had spent with you lately starting to take its toll. The little habits you both had were slowly but surely revealing themselves to each other. You were so different yet fit so perfectly together. You were shouting your face had gone red from anger and you couldn’t believe he was picking on you so much. “If I’m that annoying why don’t you just leave me?” You replied to him so calmly despite being in a fit of rage. It was stupid but he knew at that moment he never wanted to live without you. The pain he felt in his chest at the mere thought of leaving you. “Marry me?” He had to admit it wasn’t the most romantic way to declare your love for someone but it was his way and it was a way that you’d never quite forget. But here he was placing a kiss on your cold forehead wishing that it was all some nightmare. He always wanted to be the one to go first his wrinkled hand never leaving yours the full time. Your kids standing behind him each having a hand on their dad’s shoulder both crying as well. You were the stronger one, it was meant to be him lay there not you. “Every breath I take from this moment will be wasted without you in my life Y/N. You’re my forever and always.”

Namjoon

And if only I could hold ya. You’d keep my head from going under.

You had become somewhat of a comfort blanket to Namjoon. He found it rather easy to get lost in his thoughts and create a false realty in his head. His mind would often go to the negative things and it was something he worked on every day. When he was with you he never had to worry about feeling alone with his thoughts. You were the person he felt most comfortable around he could be completely and unapologetically himself. Due to his work your time together was often spent over the phone or laptop. Seeing your face whether it was in person or on screen was always the brightest moment of his day. However you worked too. You had a life to live just as he did and sometimes your work clashed and you’d go days without speaking to each other besides a few odd messages here and there. These were the times he was alone with his thoughts. He knew he wasn’t lonely he was surrounded by many people he loved and many people that loved him but that doesn’t mean his mind wouldn’t make him feel like he was sat in a black hole of emptiness. He would begin to question things he had said, he had done. Whether he was on the right path or not. In these moments all he wished for was your presence. You were the light in the dark. If he could have you there in his arms he knew he’d be feeling content. All he needed to do was focus his mind on you and he knew he’d be okay.

Jimin

Maybe I’m just being blinded by the brighter side.

No relationship was ever easy, especially if you were an idol. The many days, weeks or months you’d spend away from home, the millions of fans who felt like their opinion of your significant other mattered. So many obstacles stood in the way of an easy and happy relationship. The amount of pressure you both felt once the relationship went public was something neither of you had expected. Everything was going great between you both Jimin really didn’t see any reason to keep you a secret. He wanted to show you off to the world. To who army the person who was making him happy beyond belief. He really couldn’t quite believe how happy you really made him. Of course the honeymoon phase shortly ended and the hate began to become too much for you. You’d spent your nights reading through hundreds of comments about the way you looked, the way you acted, the way you spoke. Every aspect of your life had become a talking point and you couldn’t escape. It led to many arguments between you and Jimin. You began to blame him for everything his fans said, getting angry that he never did anything to defend you even though you knew he really couldn’t. If he ever saw someone treat you badly you know he’d be there to defend you in a second. But that didn’t matter the arguments continued to the point you spent more time arguing and giving each other the silent treatment than being happy. Jimin couldn’t quite let go, and neither could you. You knew it wasn’t healthy to keep going the way you were but the happy memories kept coming flooding back to you whenever you had plucked up the courage to leave. Jimin had spent weeks talking himself into saying goodbye but every second he was with you he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The good times were that they were good and they were something he wasn’t quite ready to let go of just yet.

Taehyung

It’s your love I’m lost in.

The thing about Taehyung was when he was in love he was truly deeply madly in love. He loved with every ounce of his soul. There was never a day that went by where you ever had to question if he loved you or not. You couldn’t help but feel you were never quite enough for him but none of that ever mattered. To him you were the most beautiful person in the world. To him you were his world. He could watch you as you went about daily task like house work or cooking and he’d be so content with just watching and being in your presence. He could read you like a book at this point and you weren’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. Sometimes you felt smothered but at the same time you wouldn’t change him for anything. You loved him just as much as he loved you and nothing else mattered other than that. The only negatives were you were both blinded by love. Your relationship was far from perfect. You’d spend hours screaming and shouting at each other. Breaking up and getting back together and you both knew that no matter how far you’d run that you’d always come back to each other. You were addicted to each other.

Jungkook

Even though I’m nothing to you now.

Taking a photo every day for a year and keeping them safe in a photo album sounded like a great idea at the time but now the year was over and Jungkook was left with a whole album to remind him of what he had lost. January 1st the photo he treasured the most. He still remembered the moment he took it. His vision blurred slightly from the alcohol he had consumed earlier in the night but your beauty was something he could see very clearly. The way your eyes lit up when your favourite song began to play. The lights were dim with the odd strobe lighting you up as you danced like you were the only one in the room. Your eyes never leaving Jungkook’s the full time. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling his cheeks were beginning to hurt. He had the take a photo to capture the moment. He flipped a few pages to summer time. July 28th to be exact. A photo you had asked a random passerby to take for you. You had spent the day at the beach together sat on an old blanket you had stuffed into Jungkook’s backpack earlier. You were sat on the edge of a rock watching the waves as the sun started to go down. The sky glowing with golden and pink swirls. You had ran to a passerby asking to take a photo saying it would be the “perfect aesthetic”. The photo was you sat on the rock with his arm wrapped firmly round your waist holding you close to his body as you both looked out to the sunset over the water. It really was a beautiful sight. He sighed flipping to the last page. All the photos from the past month had been of emptiness. His inspiration was gone, his spark was gone. Each photo was nothing. They held no meaning just blank sheets of paper. His mind went back onto you as he took out the photo from January 1st and held it in his hand. The realisation that you were still his everything and he was nothing to you now.

Author note

So yeah this was a little bit different let me know what you think! It is also just after 4am and I’ve just finished writing this so please excuse any mistakes etc. But yeah send your thoughts and your requests! Thanks again <3

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gg-astrology · 6 years

Text

Jeon Jungkook: Inner Planet Natal Reading

💕 Hello! I’ve been working on this post for the majority of the week so I hope you’ll look upon it kindly! With the recent situation going on with the fansite stuff, I hope this brings you a little bit of joy or good vibes lately. Please remember to take a break once in a while!

Also, If you haven’t seen @starryguks ‘Jungkook’s astrology’ yet, please check it! I’m so utterly soft for the boys and her post really inspired me to write about our Virgo Boys (Namjoon post coming out soon)! 💕

Taehyung Inner Planet Natal Reading | Taehyung - Members: Relationship Dynamics

Jungkook Inner Planet Natal Reading

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Virgo Boys (Namjoon - Jungkook) Masterlist

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*answered asks about BTS members romantic stuff is at the bottom of the masterlist

💕disclaimer: i’m a novice on astrology but these are my interpretations of the signs and how they’re working based on my experiences with them. Everyone has different opinions and studies in astrology, all interpretation and experiences within the realm is valid, however feel free to make your own post or skip if you strongly disagree. The point of this post is to relate to someone, entertain and have a fun time, validate people with similar experiences and get people excited about the girls+ astrology. Also, since we don’t know most of their birth times, I’m using the standard 12.00pm/no birth time. 💕

September 1st, 1997 (Busan, South Korea) Virgo Sun - 1st Decan (Ruled by Mercury/Virgo)

Jungkook with Virgo in 1st Decan (amplified Mercury) really accentuates how bright he really is.

It doesn’t have to be the conventional kind of smart, with Virgo Sun in 1st Decan there’s a need to be acknowledged for how astute they are.

They like being praised for being resourceful, nimble thinking and often times wisdom. They’re agile and brainy, often much more bold when they feel confident that their contributions and advice are taken seriously.

Virgos also have a habit of being pretty self-decrepitating, so he might’ve actually did alright in school (academia) -- maybe it’s not outstanding and he may have felt dissatisfied because he wanted his grades to be better-- but objectively speaking, he probably better than what he thinks he did (we all know he’s a little harsh on himself.)

He might seem so humble and timid about boasting about his skills. Often preferring to show through action, He tends to think ‘it could be better’ even when he doesn’t really have a realistic expectation of what better is.

Don’t ever let a Virgo hear you say that however, especially a Virgo Sun/Leo moon because they’ll probably get really confronted/offended. They pride themselves in ‘knowing who they are’ better than anyone, so hearing any claims or question to their own integrity or sincerity as a person, having that doubt cast upon them, they’re going to be pissed at you for the unforeseeable future.

Anyways, Virgos not really knowing how to set realistic expectations in their life? More likely than you think!

It’s mostly due to Virgos not really knowing what true satisfaction feels like-- which, the end goal for most Virgo natives is actually to feel satisfied. At least once in their life from a certain thing to make them feel like life’s worth living. It’s a very humbling goal though, right?

See, the thing with Virgo is how they actually feel. It dictates most of the things they do. Their views on the world, how they perceive themselves, how they deal with emotions.

They have this nervous energy about them that keeps them going, and that’s what drives them the most. Everything is categorized into objective, and subjective with them. And this type of thinking can lead to very toxic ideology that tends to be either black or white so please be careful!

Virgos are one of those people are so humble and down to earth. They almost seem like they’re happier being a wallflower sometimes. Even though they have exemplary skills and smarts and they’re probably doing better than what they say/think they’re doing.

Virgo’s curious and studious nature is almost like a Gemini. Although they’re less prone to being changeable or versatile (i.e. Gemini’s ability to flick from group to group easily) they’re more the type to stay in one place and silently have their notebook ready to take down notes when someone says something that fascinates them.

Jungkook may not think he’s academically smart, but he appreciates those around him who also share similar unconventional intelligence.

Jungkook has a natural appreciation for smarts in other people (Virgo 1st Decan), since he is smart himself. It’s important to remember that intellect isn’t just being academically smart, Virgo tends to like those that are just a little bit quirkier, or is just a little bit above them in what they’re good at.

See: Hoseok in emotional intelligence, Namjoon in lyricism, music and life experience (l’ve tried researching and I don’t think he ever talks up about Namjoon’s IQ like ever? Correct me if I’m wrong.) Yoongi with his worldly knowledge and life experiences.

Virgo in 1st decan wants to learn, they’re already a communicative sign, but with double that curiosity they want to feel like their intellect is appreciated/valued by groups of people who has similar levels to what they excel in (in this case, music/artistry).

Jungkook’s Virgo in 1st decan really shows because he’s able to really make up his mind/decisions quickly, as well as grasps how things work and often explains it to the group (see: in Run episodes, he’s the one who’s most eager to explain things he understands to the group, asks questions to clarify with the staff and once he got it, he helps others around him)

Even in the industry, he can easily see through people on first impressions. Has very clear and solid opinion of who’s good and who’s bad for him. And if that’s not some Virgo fast thinking/ Scorpio keen observational skills I don’t know what is.

Jungkook should be praised for being smart, not just because he is, it’s also what his Virgo Sun deserves.

Whether he’s aware of it or not-- his sun/ego/self-confidence would be fulfilled because of it. It’s similar to how Yoongi’s Virgo Moon likes being comforted by practical/skill stuff that he does, how he has helped those around him through effort, how he’s changed the world around him by things he has done-- With Jungkook it’s more about intelligence. The things he’s most doubtful about is his own capabilities (his hard work and effort/intellect) and the way he cleverly did things. If you ever see the hyungs compliment him for using his quick wit, he gets really giddy-- it’s adorable

There’s a difference here between fulfilling his Virgo or Leo placements, when people compliment him for ‘maturing’ that’s what makes the Virgo placement blush. Yoongi complimenting the way he speaks better now? You can bet it made his heart flutter. He wants to truly be acknowledged as smart, even if he’s doubtful or insecure about it.

The thing about Jungkook is that he’s just too busy doing so many things to truly appreciate himself/be more self-aware about the better traits in him.

Virgos are all about productivity, out of any signs-- they have the hardest time even seeing their better parts. Because they’re so focused in things they still need to work on, they cherry pick everything that’s brought up to them.

Even when it’s laid out bare -- all cards on the table style. If you show a Virgo their negative and positive trait, they’re going to probably focus more on the negative traits.

With Virgo in the 1st decan his ambitions and steady-climbing really helps him resolve problems and challenges he might’ve faced. They’re small-step takers, they’re not big-picture ambitious aimers.

Virgos are about the smaller things, the attention to details, their immediate external environment or things they can immediately do.

Because their extra sensitive to their environment (sensory and clutter-wise, they’re often prone to feeling unwell/frustrated when their external/internal world is ‘messy’) -- Jungkook has an appreciation and need for simplicity. It shows in his thinking (he appreciates when things are streamlined/straight forward) but also in his tastes (sensitivity to smell, soft textures, structure and clean lines in a room)

Jungkook’s goals every year reflect also this kind of thinking (Sun-Mercury), since his Sun (ego/confidence) is also in the same sign as his Mercury (thoughts/verbalization) his self-confidence/sense of self is directly channelled through his thinking and his goals.

When he says something-- it’s from his soul, his sincerity and integrity is ultimate, and he expects others to at least try to be the same as he is. He puts so much effort into expressing his sun, developing his mercury that he doesn’t realize he’s repressing his more ‘unpredictable’ traits (Moon/Mars).

He often expresses frustration with himself even though he doesn’t know why, that’s because he’s troubleshooting at the wrong thing.

When he suppress his other placements (Moon/Mars) he over-works his ‘developed’ placement (Sun/Mercury/Venus) making it worse than how it’s supposed to be (in this case, even if they’re ‘developed’ they are still ‘underdeveloped’ because nothing is balanced).

It brings out all the worst trait in Virgo to be more visible under the sunlight (and in this case, the Moonlight because...he’s a Leo Moon and it’s directly being suppressed) through all the hesitance and insecurity, all the self-decrepitation and timid-nature of Virgos.

All the wasted compassion and misunderstanding. That’s how an over-worked Virgo could be when you let it take too much control over your life, you embody all it’s worst trait and it leaves you feeling more frustrated as you keep ‘working to develop it further’-- that’s not going to help. The key is to let the suppressed placement out and balance them all instead.

When he says he’s awkward on television it’s because he’s over-working his Virgo, and not allowing his Leo Moon to express itself.

Notice how it’s working best when he’s doing things subconsciously/letting the Leo Moon through to show how playful he is? Those instances are the best because people find him funny, and when he’s conscious of it he’s too stiff to express it to the best of it’s capacity.

The combination of Leo Moon/Virgo Sun, especially when his Sun is in 1st decan makes him so self aware. It becomes hyper-fixation on what his Leo Moon would do, worries over his emotions coming out brash or ‘too out of control’ (since the rest of his placement is based on balance and harmony to function properly).

It became a sense of knowing his sun/mercury too well, and not letting his emotions out because he’s too afraid of it.

It became internalizing all his behaviors, criticizing it and analyzing the best way to go about thing. And thus, suppressing his own emotions under the chains of Virgo’s self-critical assessments instead.

He’s always so anxious and worried that a single instance of unpredictability, of emotional outburst or lack of self-control on his Leo/Scorpio placement -- would ruin his entire career, his persona, his external structure and the internal hierarchy he’s set inside of himself.

Yes that’s very overdramatic if you think about it, he works so hard on his Virgo trait, the sheer thought of losing control (and subconsciously not knowing he gave his Virgo too much control) places very high stakes on his entire being.

Virgo who’s developed threatened by their very clearly developed borders and structure being destroyed? They absolutely would not let that happen on their watch. It becomes a never-ending cycle of trying to restrain yourself, trying to put on a corset to keep your body in a figure that’s unrealistic at all time and never seeing or accepting yourself as you truly are. It’s self-decrepitation at it’s worse, when it’s harming your own emotions and you don’t even acknowledge it because it’s been there for so long. Jungkook is getting so much better at just, letting go and accepting himself however. And that comes with the territory of emotional maturity and life experience.

Virgos are attracted to those who seems like they’re capable of handling themselves just as well, maybe sometimes even more (or less) than the Virgo themselves. Reliability and dependency is big for the Virgo natives since they themselves tends to be too giving (Jungkook has that balanced by Libra-Venus -- I’ll later try to explain how everything’s working for him) and they’re soft and sentimental. They want a soft love story, a romantic one where their effort and dedication is seen and appreciated.

When he says he prefers girls who is intelligent, and he means that. He’s not the standard ‘traditional’ beauty but rather someone who’s smart enough to know their own self-worth in other areas instead, things like self-care, self-confidence, self-love and self-motivation. You can see it reflected in the celebrities he adore like Emma Watson (and her character Hermione) and IU.

Both of these incredible women also share other similar physical features. Their sense of style/aura draws him to them. People who has that comfortable jeans-and-shirt-and-still-looks-comfortable Taurean aura (rising/venus) and has pretty strong placement in fire-earth that really attracts him to them (Leo preferably since his Juno is in Leo). Someone who looks a bit slight but has admirable power/strength inside their body (Virgo symbolized onto these women).

As a side note: possibly one of my favourite thing about Jungkook is that one disassociated face he makes whenever the hyung says something dumb he just-- look off at an 3/4 angle into the middle distance and sighs while pressing his lips together. That’s such a Virgo mood.

It has the same energy as Hoseok’s shut down after a roller coaster sound effect. Also Namjoon has that disassociated face too, it comes out more often during english interviews. It’s confirmed Virgo Mood.

Aspects:

Sun (Virgo) - Conjunct - Mercury (Virgo) [0 degrees]

He has to constantly relearn how to communicate his thoughts/feelings.

Often times even though they’re fast to pick up how to do it proficiently, time spent away makes them a little bit more awkward and communicating with people they haven’t seen for a while makes them a little bit more timid/subdued.

They’re like that cousin who you meet at family gathering and you get along splendidly after a few days, you feel so close to them. But a week later they’ve gone back to having a polite and awkward distance not really knowing how to function from that time away once again

You know how after every comeback and he has a solo vlive he always comments on how awkward it is or not knowing what to say? That’s a dead ass Virgo sun-mercury mood at 0 sometimes.

Often times they have to ‘vibe’ out the person, see how they’re doing, seeing the result before they tackle the task of communicating with someone on a deeper level once again.

Sun-Mercury aspect also makes Jungkook come across as really Virgo. Practical, solution-based, willing to communicate but also a little awkward/shier in personal relationship? Virgo Mood.

He’s focused on the smaller details and pictures, often more sensitive to tiny errors and details than the rest of the member. That’s why he tends to scold them a lot, but often out of good intentions since it directly affects him and the betterment of the team as a whole.

You know Virgos won’t even open their mouth and confront a problem if they don’t have a creative criticism others can work on. You might think they’re nit picky, but they’re really coming from a place that they’ll hold themselves back if it feels like they’re just being annoying even to themselves. They’re very conscious of what they put into their surroundings, so appreciate your little Virgo friends for what they do for other people more!

Sun (Virgo) - Sextile - Mars (Scorpio)

Great control over his activities and bodily health, often times people with Sun (Virgo) in a positive aspect towards their mars tend to exercise for the sake of exercising (like Jungkook said, it’s the feeling that matters)

Virgo generally tries to do little daily habits or incorporate healthy behaviors in order to grow into a routine. It keeps them stable and balanced so they can focus on other things going on in their life.

Once it’s aspecting Mars, the person often finds their activities geared towards physical exertion instead of restructuring their mind.

He’s also extra sensitive to his body this way, often times physical touches, scents or over-heating can be ‘too much’ (Virgo likes to moderate/be in control of these touches) and there’s a need to keep away from imposing these same kind of feelings on others-- making them seem like a responder rather than an initiator (unless they’ve really grown into themselves or really like the other person).

Virgo wants to feel pride in his physical body, since the physical body is a ‘material’ in this case. He’s also a bit more prone to obsessive/possessive behaviour, regulating his weight, stature, diet and tends to be more bodily aware than others.

Virgos tends to have all the right common logic like respecting other people, personal hygiene and valuing small dedication that was heart-felt given to them. Having it influenced by his Mars makes him obsessive over these habits/small things.

It might become more toxic or over-exaggerated in his behaviour which lead the members to calling him out over it. It’s mostly the Scorpio Mars aspect they have a problem about, but also the principle that Virgos hold dear as well.

Sun (Virgo) - Square - Pluto (Sagittarius)

Ok, there’s a lot of inner tension and hyper-fixation he places on himself. Virgo is already critically aware of all it’s short-comings and habitual weaknesses, having it in an aspect with his progression/growth can make him feel frustrated that he’s not developing efficiently enough.

He often states this as well, that he doesn’t think he’s progressing as fast as he wants to be. There’s a thought and desire to reach out to more people, to expand his horizon and learn (see: when he wants to travel to the US and learn more english)

He can feel that by living spontaneously, he could’ve had many opportunities to grow that way and it’s a missed chance his Virgo often holds himself back from taking.

Having one’s Pluto in the house of expansion against one’s sun can make the person feel like change and growth can be harder to brace. It feels too aggressive, too personal and often times like a hurricane that’s coming from the outside and he’s not ready for it.

Sagittarius also talks about communication skills and being able to connect with those around them easier, Jungkook is already so critically aware that he lacks that kind of easy-flowing nature in himself, when he sees it in others (See: Namjoon, Taehyung) he reflects even harder on himself and might have a tendency to beat himself down over ‘not doing enough’ or ‘not talking enough’ like that.

Generally I think he’s getting better at that, which isn’t a main problem to deal with.

Leo Moon - 3rd Decan (Ruled by Mars/Aries)

Now with all the shit I’ve said in the earlier section, that’s not to say that his Moon is neglected at all. In fact it’s developing just fine, and becoming one of his most developed placement in Fake Love era (currently)-- the goal with the Virgo section was to point out how different placements might’ve interacted or restrict each other throughout the years-- overcoming them through understanding yourself better would help a lot.

Leo moon has that pride and inner strength that attracts people to them. But they’re also fucking softies at the same time.

Leo Moon in the 3rd Decan ruled by Aries really helps Jungkook come out from his shy Virgo shell and truly realize who he wants to be.

He has such a strong core of inner strength, from the fixed and noble nature that Leo has but also how truthful and forth right the Aries influenced him as well. It really complements his Virgo’s nature, and thus bringing out the best nature in and of himself (despite the restriction Virgo still places on his Moon, but that’s going to be explained later)

Leo/Aries Decan really know from such a young age who they want to be, sometimes they can be indecisive but often they make their decisions quickly. Aries (cardinal) sign likes to initiate activities whilst Leo fixedly kept working on it. This gives his Leo Moon some endurance and initiation to know when to swerve in a certain direction, and when to keep going to get to where he wants to be.

It probably factors a lot into how he joined the industry, from such a young age this Aries decan makes him realize he wants to do -- maybe not forever, but definitely for a certain time frame. He joined a competition (and fire-signs are notoriously known for being competitive when it’s about their capabilities/skills) and then seeing as he got pretty good results, started looking into agencies.

Now, Aries is an entrepreneur signs, they don’t like messy things and typically doesn’t have to follow a beaten path. Sure it might freak out his Virgo a little who relies heavily on structure and order, but the stagnancy of joining a larger company like the big three would’ve killed his Leo Moon in the long run you know.

He was probably making decisions in his earlier age from his Moon especially, from joining the competition up to being inspired by Namjoon that he had to join BigHit. He was looking for that ‘it’ factor, and Aries are notoriously good at picking a shining silver coin from a field of copper.

The competitiveness that Aries has isn’t really outwards towards people in general, but rather it’s inherited in their intense focus on making that thing shine. It’s a personal challenge, a personal project, and that’s why Aries are feared by others around them sometimes.

That sense of inner drive can be intimidating for those around them and it does result in jealousy because other’s don’t have/doesn’t understand that intense personal drive.

Growing up with a Leo moon can be hard especially when one has pretty strong placement making them shy. Leo Moon tends to show their playfulness to those close around them, often in the comfort of their home or in privacy away from the spotlight (even though they crave for it at the same time).

They’re content with their inner circle, because their emotions are easily controlled that way. Leo Moon takes pleasure and joy from pleasing those around them, often through their sense of self expression.

This can be a ‘performance’ or ‘reenactment’ of a scene they might play out, an over-exaggeration of a comment someone made in order to cheer up the other person.

The response from people around them fulfills their inner needs gives them emotional gratification that they crave, usually it’s more of a temporary gratification, since long-term fulfillment in Leo Moon can be a bit high maintenance to get.

Giving a Leo Moon a solid stable base for their emotional growth can take years to fulfill, since it would require consistent validation, attention and affection (usually in terms of praises) in order for them to feel appreciated/loved.

They don’t tend to trust easily, especially when they tend to doubt themselves and their own worth sometimes. Having multiple sources and admirers keeps them from sucking just one single person dry. And it’s generally healthy for Leo Moon to keep a close knit groups of friends and family they can get these sources from.

Now, the kind of responses people give them can dictate their overall mood/attitude. They feed off of positive reactions, maybe even surprised/amusement or neutral responses are seen as positive sometimes. They don’t tend to react well with the responses are negative, even when it’s just brushing them off or an off-hand remarks.

Leo Moons will take it to heart, and often gets a bit sulky and defensive about themselves because of this.

Thus you can understand why it can be harder for Leo Moon to put themselves out there for the general audience/public to see. It’s nerve-wrecking, because they’re placing all their emotional vulnerabilities forward into the spotlight for others to judge. Sure the response might be positive, but they know that with popularity/positivity comes negativity as well.

Leo Moons are much more sensitive than their sun, and their egos are easily hurt. Just them being able to realize they should do this, to take the risk and being out there-- takes enormous courage that most signs can’t even fathom why they would take such a huge risk factor in themselves like that.

To the Leo Moon natives there’s a need for performance within themselves. For self-expression and their feelings, but with that territory comes with exposure.

It’s a risk all Leo Moon has to face whether it be on a stage or in their social relationships. Sure, their emotions will get hurt and sometimes they’re retrieve back in themselves.

But at the same time, they’re big thinkers. They’re ultimately very ambitious, and often times sees the bigger picture in all this. Knowing the best way to fulfill their sense of emotional contentment is the end goal for Leo Moon. And even though they’re afraid, they have a commitment into making that jump.

Jungkook realizing this is the path he wants to be so early in his life is a sign of a developing Leo Moon who’s doing extra-ordinarily better than one realizes.

This might be due to the balanced Sun-Moon aspect as well as amazingly ambitious push from his Virgo Sun to fulfill his Moon’s potential. If you think about it, it’s like a mum who enrolled their son into a swimming course for young olympians the moment they realize they’ve got potential.

The mum here is the Virgo Sun and the son here is the Leo moon. She realizes her sun’s potential and understands his dissatisfaction of possibly underachieving in the future because of a lack of opportunity, so she took the initiative and push for him in the direction that’ll benefit him best instead. (Kinda like, Virgo being a soccer mum and her team lead son Leo growing up the popular kid?)

It definitely helped him in the beginning to let his Virgo take the lead role, since it gives his much more fragile Leo Moon time to brace itself into fully developing under the spotlight.

It also helps so much that he gains unconditional love and support from the members, staff and general public as the audience. He worked hard for it, embodying the Virgo mum, but at the same time the Leo Moon has an external father figure in all the members/staff to grow and fully realize himself under. They’re the one who taught him what to do and what not to do, whilst his Virgo mum slowly relinquish her hold on her teenage son just in time for him to graduate and be ready to face the world.

I can’t stress enough how fortunate he was to be raised in such a kind and caring environment. Most Leo Moon don’t tend to even have this kind of luck, which really stout their emotional growth and unbalance them completely. Having both the members and the staff doting on him, Jungkook often feels much more emotionally mature than the rest of his peers or even members sometimes, this is because it has all the resource it needs to gain maturity and come into itself faster than maybe someone with a harder to achieve moon placement sometimes (see: Taehyung, Jin, Yoongi, Namjoon)

Leo Moons: Natural (Subconsciously) Comedic

I want to preface this by saying this entire section is what I think was going on in his earlier days and not who he is right now. Nowadays (in the era of Fake Love) Jungkook has gotten so much better at understanding his Leo moon and letting moon shine. How he is today and how he was in his earlier years still retains some similar habit from each other, and it’ll be fun to look at and see! But also this is for others who have similar placement to learn from and understand within themselves. I hope it helps!

You know how he sometimes have that glazed look on his face? Or when the camera catches him just by himself/with the other members joking around together in the background?

Jungkook has a habit of vibing softly with himself, and that’s often time the moment when he shines best in this playful, caring nature. It’s intuitive to his Leo Moon who cares deeply about other’s opinions, feelings and thoughts. All their softer trait tends to come spilling out uncontrollably when they’re away from camera.

But when he has to focus to be Like That, sometimes he doesn’t know what to do with himself with the camera around him?

He stiffens up and becomes so conscious of himself it can verge on the point of paranoia. He doesn’t necessarily understand what he does that’s so funny consciously because it’s not something he’s focused on.

Alot of Jungkook’s personal experiences in his younger years, especially during the time just before Spring Day probably feels sort of like an out-of-body experience. There’s a strong sense of disassociation. Kind of like you’re floating and observing everyone around you and then suddenly becoming hyper-aware of what’s actually happening and being the center of attention again.

It’s not a feeling of shying away from the spotlight? But rather caught unaware. Like waking up in the middle of a cross-fire shouting match between roommates and not knowing what to do/being hyper aware of their need to mediate it?

The reason he doesn’t understand why he’s so funny is because he does these things so naturally. Leos are entertainers, and the way he behaves subconsciously endears others towards him.

With losing abit of control, Jungkook realizes he can exhibit these traits more often. But he’s also scared of losing control because that means making his emotions/moon more vulnerable to the general public’s criticism. What if they don’t enjoy it? What if it comes out wrong? It leaves him feeling uncomfortable since that means he can’t dictate/have control over that part of his response/life anymore (Virgo Sun/Mercury- overthinking things).

He’s the maknae for a reason, and his softer side is seen more openly when he’s around his hyungs. It can lead to habitual dependency by hanging onto the same crowd and not seeking new experiences, but at the same time they give him that emotional comfort and external encouragement to be truly himself and fully allow his softer, sentimental side to come out.

Jungkook crying and hugging the member? More likely than you think. Leos are notorious criers, when it comes to others around them. That’s because their emotions/sense of self is based upon other’s approval for so long. When a group of people consistently feed them love, appreciation and validation Leo Moon tends to grow super attached to them. Don’t even think about leaving for a second, they can border on co-dependency sometimes.

Leo Moon often realizes that these people makes up who they are today, which is why their give back so much. Their self-confidence, their ability to grow onto themselves. They know how valuable and precious all this is and how hard it is to come within their life time. And often when close people’s plight floats into their ears, they feel so so vulnerable and compassionate for that person they can’t help but cry. Leo Moon cares deeply for their relationship and their history between the two people, they want to give back just as much. Often times they have a harder time saying good bye to others and ending relationship that they can find a way to prolong it even when it’s toxic/poisonous for them.

Aspects

Moon (Leo) - Square- Pluto (Sagittarius)

Again, this ties into the idea of him not really knowing what to do with his moon once he’s so aware of his Sun/Mercury being developed.

With his fear of external change, and the vulnerabilities that his Moon might bring there’s a heavy reliance on his Sun to make up and create a sense of structure to his life.

Often times his emotions and feelings can be overwhelming, it becomes similar to water-signs moon, turbulent and drowning-- he can be prone to suppressing these unexplained and ‘unrealistic’ self expression in order to regain some kind of control over his life.

When his emotions (moon) finds it hard to cope with change/transformation he goes through (pluto) he finds himself resorting to relying on his other placement to over compensate his inner self getting hurt. The less-emotional and relatively unmoved Virgo is a great candidate since he has this in bouts, it becomes a natural earth barrier to hide behind.

But at the same time he finds himself unable/reluctant to show his more sensitive, sentimental and delicate emotional side sometimes due to it’s nature.

The uncomfortable feeling of being attacked by external change/internal changes, between his softer sentimental Leo Moon and structure-oriented Virgo Sun makes him feel like he has to constantly hide himself behind a barrier. At the same time, becomes so self-aware and hyper-fixedly on opening himself up that it can be hard to regain some kind of balance between the two sometimes.

It’s like someone throwing a bomb at you and you have one barrier to defend yourself with, but the attacks are coming from two sides so you have to curl and fix that barrier into a blanket that covers you just enough? Sometimes it be like that, and you can’t help but wonder when this hell is going to end or beating yourself up for not having enough ‘courage’ to move onto a different place that might be safer.

It becomes stagnancy and frustration with himself, that he can’t control the situation and he can’t do more. It really doesn’t help with his self-destructive criticism or pushing himself too much into certain ideologies that his Virgo might present as ‘practical’ or ‘worthwhile’, but tends to end up over-compensating and becoming ‘toxic’ instead (see earlier: his obsession with possession/being good enough)

Blanketing himself in this barrier for protection also means his Leo Moon constantly has to face moments of reprieve that sometimes can’t be good for him. When he’s alone or isolated, as long as he’s not engaging in self-destructive behaviour it should be alright. But when he does it so much, and so consistently it can become habitual (Virgo) and thus-- lead to isolating himself and relearning all over again how to react to changing external environment.

There’s also some kind of obsession to posses Sagittarius traits, even though he’s confident/prideful in his own self. There’s something akin to admiration but also jealousy, not towards any person but towards traits he sees as directly affecting him and perhaps, if he possesses those traits he can assimilate it and adapt better.

Sagittarius are great at making friends, communicating with people in general, they’re generously compassionate and tend to have this vivid zest of life but also contentment in being alone that’s not overdoing themselves. There’s potential for expansion that the Sagittarius sees and aims for, as well as fountains of knowledge/intelligence they fearlessly dive into once stirred.

Since his sense of self (Leo/Sun) is restricted in this area (Sun-Pluto), he might feel ‘less than’ sometimes -- often standoffish but wanting to participate when Sagittarius-dominant people ‘do their thing’.

His Leo Moon craves being closer to Sagittarius people (see: Jin, Namjoon, Taehyung who has that good Jupiter/Sag in 1st) -- just like how his Virgo Sun/1st Decan encourages him to learn more things. It’s like a shy younger brother hanging out with his big brother’s friends. The Leo hides behind clinging onto the Sag’s shirt and listens attentively, trying to absorb all the Sag traits through osmosis of being close.

Virgo Mercury - 1st Decan (Ruled by Mercury/Virgo) (R)

Hey ok, so let me explain that having a retrograde in a placement doesn’t make it impossible for you to achieve your fullest potential in anyway. Please remember that! Having a retrograde is like, a personal challenge or a game you go back to and help stimulate yourself into acting better, doing better, understanding the placement better. Having a retrograde just means it’s working slower to realize itself than how your other placement might be, and it takes time and concentration to see when it’s missing in your person. Please don’t ever feel discouraged if you have your retrograde in any personal placement, see it as a fun puzzle you have to solve-- maybe a crossword or sudoku that makes you work a bit harder than normal? The sense of accomplishment you achieve at the end of a long journey will be worth it!

Virgo Mercurian in the 1st decan has such a strong emphasis on their intellect and smarts, often time they have such pride in coming off a certain way or being acknowledged as someone reliable and dependable to others around them .

Known for their humility and practicality in helping others out, they often want to be valued as a crucial part in team settings.

There’s a need for mediation and diplomacy in this sign, they’re not just all about aggression or doing what they want to do. Instead they build structure in their thinking and people around them by establishing certain protocols or rules-- balanced/already established bonds can be hard to change once it’s placed, and often times they feel frustrated when someone tries to introduce a new adaptation or ideas to ‘improve’ what’s already a system for them to fall back on.

Having a Virgo Mercury in such a strong intellectual placement (1st Decan) in retrograde makes Jungkook slower to realize his actual abilities/capabilities. He undermines his own smarts, often unsure or just a tiniest bit insecure about how much he’s contributing or coming off sometimes when discussing in a group environment.

Constant feedback and communication helps him evaluate how he’s doing, as well as validation on whether or not he’s being purposeful or ‘serving’ others best/efficiently as well.

There’s some difficulties in self-doubting himself that might lead to insecurities. He is fantastically smart and intelligent, he just doesn’t believe it sometimes.

This is because he tends to place his insecurities first, observe and analyze and then never actually say his piece of mind when the opportunity presents itself . Even though externalizing his thought would help him so much with everything.

There has to be proactivity within him in reaching out or making his voice heard more, even though he thinks it’s repetitive or ‘unnecessary’ -- he should realize that his voice and establishing himself verbally would help others understand him better. And help save him from awkward interactions or misunderstanding in the future-- costing his self-confidence and esteem nothing if not for the initial courage it takes to speak out in the first place.

People with Virgo Mercury in 1st Decan (in retrograde) has such a hard time expressing themselves in their earlier childhood years, this is because their retrograde isn’t fully realized yet. Once they grow older, they tend to ramble a little to themselves to make sure they externalize these thoughts out loud, learning how to actual talk to people instead of talking to themselves and overcoming that fear of communicative (please believe in yourselves!) would significantly help them tackle this retrograde.

This also explains so much about how/why he’s so awkward, at the earlier debut days and how he often feels rigid and tense in front of a camera.

When he feels lost like he doesn’t really know himself, his defensive tactic is to uses his Virgo trait excessively. Because he feels more comfortable that way (remember the protective barrier his Moon/Sun has to use? It’s like that)

He probably didn’t realize until he’s used it so much to hide the flaw in his developing character (Leo Moon) until he sees that all of the negative Virgo traits are visible now, so in trying to hide one flaw he emphasizes the other instead.

A lesson for all of us to learn here is that you can’t overwork on placement to make up for the development of another. There has to be a balance and the signs are multi-dimensional. Nothing is truly just advantage without any disadvantage you know? Learning to live with both sides of the signs, accepting it, understanding and balancing it would help us tremendously.

So this is where he looks for another source of outlet. His Scorpio Mars is prominent in his chart, and he can use this to balance his Virgo Mercury! But not in the way it’s supposed to sometimes.

His Scorpio Mars may be working fine on it’s own, but in his younger days he might’ve had some tendency to internalize his Mars (like he did with his Moon) and use it to regulate himself into behaving a certain way.

To develop his Virgo Sun/Mercury, internalizing this will-power and abundance of self-drive (Scorpio) helps really rapidly build his Virgo placements.

It can be harmful in the long run, as long as he learns how to not make it into a habit and not grow to categorize it as something he should fear (Virgo trait tends to categorize things as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, and unpredictable/too powerful emotions can be seen as ‘needing regulation’ - i.e. his Moon and Mars energy)

It can become an obsession (Scorpio) with trying to pursue a rigid structure or extreme self-disciplining.Making him think of himself as one-dimensional sometimes

Him calling himself ‘a A-class robot who malfunctions occasionally’? Such an over-simplification Virgo Mercurian technique to make streamlined narratives they can understand ‘easier’ (sometimes easy isn’t the key here).

Similarly seen in manga/content he consumes in order to develop/mature, it can lead to having a harder time seeing himself/people as multi dimensional people with different faucets to themselves ya know?

His dislike of insincerity in people, ‘two-faced’ or ‘fake’ people? That’s because he won’t allow himself to be anything but his positive traits. It’s an ideal, no matter how impractical or impossible it might be.

In the end it’ll lead him to an disillusionment in the quality of people around him and of himself. Virgos are generally hard on themselves, not being able to reach the ideal or perfection can really spiral them into an anxious, nervous energy back lash that would led them to over-working themselves.

He wants to exhibit just his good traits only and probably has a harder time even accepting that he can feel emotions that are ‘uglier’ or ‘bad’ - it leads to repression of said feelings and internalizing a lot of emotions.

It’s almost like a projecting part of himself won’t accept onto others? The way he doesn’t like it when others do it? This simplification, overly-structuring his life to be as straightforward as possible. Also limits his exposure to the world and to different sorts of people around him.

It’s a defensive tactic/habit when working/growing in the entertainment industry.But as he grow older he realizes that he can’t continue being like that, and that there’s so much inter-dimensionality in people. He has to learn how to understand this inside of himself, that it’s ok to have uglier negative habits as well as positive ones, and just allow himself to explore.

His later comment about how happiness comes with pain, sadness, etc ( members have to define ‘happiness’ ) truly shows how much he understands this, and it comes with maturity and practice (patience) he’s grown to have throughout the years.

Aspects

Mercury (Virgo) (R) - Sextile - Mars (Scorpio)

With his Mercury (thoughts/expression) aligning with his Mars (desire for actions/physical energy) the health aspect of his Virgo really comes through with this one.

Whether he realizes this or not, whenever he faces mental blockage he uses his physical energy to externalize his frustrations.

Virgo is also a sign that takes a lot of their earlier childhood principles and still uses it to apply to their every day life (habitual creatures) so getting good habits/principles really matters to them.

Sometimes Jungkook might just resort to showing the people he cares through physical means rather than verbally (since it is in retrograde) -- small dedications or gifts/presents for the ones he love.

Oh and about him not buying people birthday present thing....Virgos do little things for people only when they know it’s full of devotion/dedication, you can be sure he probably shows how he loves his hyungs in other ways.

Most of the time it might be immaterial but things like mentioning little habits of theirs, taking them out, making time in his schedule to hang out with them etc. Makes so much more sense to Virgos and contains alot more meaning to their action than just buying them things based on traditions on birthdays.

How Namjoon messaged him to listen to the song? He’s on it. If it’s something he can do for his hyung, he will do it.

Also, since there’s a strong connection between his Mercury and Mars -- the idea of him using them interchangeably like I mentioned earlier is possible. Even with it working well for one another (supposedly) as long as he acknowledges how it’s working and tries not to over-compensate the balance it should be working just fine.

When one has a strong positive/negative aspect, it’s like having a clear tube of communication between two planets/signs. The flow of whether it goes one direction more so than the other depends on how one uses it. Unlike harsher aspects, the energy flow can work easier both ways with some effort put into it.

Mercury is in retrograde, so he might probably use his Mars to make up for it somehow. The way one use their energy interchangeably depends on the person themselves. But in his case, if going by earlier hypothesis he might’ve internalized some of the Mars energy into ‘fixing’ his internal issues.

Mercury (Virgo) (R) - Square - Pluto (Sagittarius)

When Mercury the planet of communication has an aspect with the planet of Change (in the sign of expansion), there can be abit of difficulties seeing past one’s own fault and giving in to habitual traits revolving around bickering, nit-picking, criticizing that might frustrate himself and others around him.

Especially since mercury is a moving planet, once it has a harder aspect to Pluto there can be a feeling of further stagnancy in the way he communicate or think through things.

Feeling lost or unsure of who he really is or how well he communicates can come across to others (truly), leaving him to resort back to old habits and often stick closer to already established dynamics within his friend groups.

Sometimes this can also lead a person to not want to interact with others or try out different communication skills, Admitting his faults or rigidity in the way he thinks comes with frustration, and confrontations from others even in the most pragmatic way possible would often feel like a personal threat.

There’s a hesitance to changing himself/the way he thinks that might lead to self-isolation and often times reclusiveness.

Libra Venus - 2nd Decan (Ruled by Uranus/Aquarius)

Libra in Venus is truly gifted with coming across well in social relations. They often impress others with their kindness, merciful actions and willingness to mediate between large groups of people so selflessly sometimes.

This is even more amplified through the 2nd decan which is ruled by Uranus/Aquarius. Jungkook prides himself in his quirky habits and his independent thinking, often times when he cannot find satisfaction/feels unsure in his Virgo trait-- he resorts to using his Libra instead.

He’s often individualistic in his ideas, doesn’t like people copying what he likes/views and at time, tend to have a need for standing out even in the most basic way (i.e. his sense of style of just t-shirt and jeans?)

Libra Venus can be prone to a lot of indecision revolving around making up their minds. This is because they’re so light in their touch involving others it feels like the slightest of breeze. Their gentle mannerism often turns them away from any form of aggression because it tends to scare them easily.

Even within himself, the intensity and force of Scorpio/Leo threatens the usually mild-mannered Libra and his Venus trait hides behind the strict presence of Virgo. This helps perpetrates the repression of Scorpio/Leo placement, but at the same time-- Libra can adapt and change their opinion of those traits easier than his Virgo placements can.

They’re more lenient to the ‘unpredictable’ placement, because they’re an air sign themselves.

Libra often tends to see things as a balance. Sure, they might be scared of it, but is it inherently bad?

Libra Venus in Jung kook generally helps him accept his Scorpio/Leo placement once he grows older, allowing them to move freely and become more present in his life under the guise of strict regulation from Virgo and Libra’s careful evaluation of ‘what would work best socially’ .

All of these signs and placements can come to flourish and balance in the best way possible since he lets his.

Libra Placements: Naturally Gifted Social Workers or Awkward People who Works Hard/Adapt Fast

Let’s talk for a minute about how Libras actually work.

Everyone says Scorpio are the evil ones. But have you met a Libra?

Scorpios are too tormented by their inner selves to be outwardly hostile when there’s nothing going on-- they’re softies, just like all the water signs. Scorpio just seems like they’re up to something. But that’s just how they are misrepresented almost all the time (like all Mars-influenced signs).

Those Libras? They can seriously just throw you off a cliff and laugh about it, before calling it a joke.

Jimin’s infamous side eyes and Jungkook’s teasing of people? Libran trait. Jungkook willingness to sell Jin for one corn chip in the latest run episode? Confirmed Libra trait (Jimin would too, have you seen the way his ego works sometimes? Such a Libra trait.)

They’ll check up on you to make sure you’re really ok, but do they care with feelings? Maybe just barely enough to make them seem like they care sometimes.

For a sign that’s ruled by Venus and talks about social interactions, Librans are one of the worst in knowing when they’re going too far.

Libras have more in common with their Gemini cousin than they do to Aquarius. Whilst Aquarius stands firm in their individualism and their independence, Gemini fixate on taking on persona of those around them intellectually. Libras focuses on molding themselves to others and learning to build emotional/intellectual support for those around them. In a way, they’re like water-signs without being actually tormented by an array of emotions bombarding them at once -- best of both worlds right?

Maybe, that’s because they’re an air sign. Even when they appear to be so genuinely and supportive, but good luck trying to build deeper connections with them that involves emotional growth on both your ends.

Sure, they’re lovely people with a true sense of harmonic peace and genuinely care about the relationships that they’re having. But emotionally-wise they’re lacking (often to themselves and it reflects when others tries to have this conversation with them) -- so how/why do they appear to be so great at understanding others?

It’s all hard work. Extremely strict logic and interpersonal efforts. Libras aren’t appreciated enough for the amount of care and dedication they put into their research. The effort they pushed into genuinely unlocking the true treasures and secrets of social relations.

Are Libras naturally gifted with the gift of gab for getting along with people like the archetype says? Not at all! Through sheer dedication and the power of intention, they can build any sort of social relations from scratch and make what seems to be a ‘miracle’ (often, they don’t utilize this skills if they deem the other person ‘too much effort’ so don’t rely on them too much on that)

Librans are possibly one of the most awkward people out there, especially in their childhood years. Have you met a Libra? There’s a sense of self-expression to them and that draws people in, but it’s an internal thing. They’re not ‘gifted’ with the natural buoyancy fire sign has to share this part of themselves with everyone else around them immediately. No, it usually starts off pretty systematic (i.e. smaller circle, hesitancy, building up confidence).

Libras are so analytical and they don’t even realize it sometimes. They themselves aren’t very porous/receptive to people coming up to them to gain something from social interaction (water/fire sign placements)-- in fact they often have to learn how to deal with people and got better at it through time.

They’re like Leos in a way, having a skill of self-expression that draws people in and then learning how to cope/deal with the people. Both of these signs often became more dependent on the responses/social interaction they get. But unlike Leo who gets emotionally hurt, Libras gets alarmed.

It’s intellectual, it’s a mental stimuli thing. A fight or flight response for a Libra is to ‘resolve the situation immediately and see what the casualties are’. They’re like paramedics in a way. Practical, solution-based and often diagnostic. They don’t get enough credit for this and I’m mad about it because they are.

Libras are also much stiffer than Gemini. Whilst Gemini has that versatility and natural adaptability, Libras tends to be rigid and more rational in their approach to other people. Is this going to work? How is it going to work? Is it at all possible to maintain? Those are the things Libras might be more concerned about than Geminis.

With Libra Venus, there’s an emphasis in understanding how a bond work rather than the actual person they’re bonding with. Once they find they want to build that bond they want to know how to prolong it. What’s the dynamic? What’s the relationship about? How does it work?

It’s almost mechanical/technical. Jimin’s Mercury in Libra? His love/appreciation may be true and deep for the person (Scorpio), but the way he thinks about the relationship-- there’s a lot of thought and consideration into lengthening it out, understanding how to work the relationship and balancing it with other areas of their lives.

If relationship is a new phone, Libra natives are the type to grab the manual and go ‘ok so how do I maintain this/what do i need to know’.

They want to be good at this, and it comes with a territory of effort that most people don’t realize/appreciate. It’s all hard work gearing these kinds of social interactions to make it work.

(Hoseok’s a bit more different, both in the tonality of his water/air sign. He has a much easier time using just his intuition for most things, and a more forceful approach in establishing or making those connections (Aquarius vs Libra)

Aspects

Venus (Libra) - Trine - Jupiter (Aquarius) (R)

Jungkook helping staff pick up the trash at ISAC and defending injustice when he sees it? More likely than you’d think with this placement.

With this placement his kind-hearted, genteel natured Libra is shining so brightly in to the general public, it makes him seem like a fair and harmonious individual that people naturally tend to gravitates towards him.

With the signs itself in Libra and Aquarius there’s a need to stand up against injustice that he sees around him, as well as help strangers, friends, just humanity as a whole.

Since his Jupiter is in retrograde, the general public can see his good deeds later on past the time he’s done them. He doesn’t tend to dwell/ mind not being seen for it immediately, since Libra Venus focuses more on the now than in the past/future anyways.

This aspect also brings him immense popularity for those who needs a little help or wants to support him. But he can be very selective on those he lets get close to him.

Venus (Libra) - Opposition - Saturn (Aries) (R)

His sense of expression, in the fluidity of the Libra is hardened and restricted. He doesn’t know how to fully express his Libra and it’s often due to inactivity or not knowing how to start (Aries Saturn).

Remember what was said about the signs having multi-dimensional layers to them? Well he can only access certain parts of his Libra because of this aspect. Often times, it restricts his sense of emotions and makes one cautious in showing their love for others.

There’s a certain stiffness to his responses, since he doesn’t know how to instigate. And when the other person doesn’t initiate these expression of love/affection for a short while, it can lead him to feeling like they might’ve changed their mind and leaving the relationship for good sometimes.

Needs stability and establishment in his life, yet faces difficulties with trusting/staying long enough to get them. Often riddled with insecurities about himself, he tends to nit-pick and become hyper-aware of all his grooming habits/short comings and tries to work on those as a solution to keep others interested in him.

Scorpio Mars - 2nd Decan (Ruled by Neptune/Pisces)

Mars in Scorpio possess great energy and devotion to themselves.

Since Scorpio was traditionally co-ruled by Mars before it was pushed into ruling Pluto. Scorpio Mars natives tends to have a great outlet for their inner tensions and self-driven will.

Often possessing much physical prowess even with a frail or weak body, there’s something keen to Scorpio Mars focusing on externalizing that energy outwards that makes them seem like such proficient and busy-bodied people when they set their mind into doing something.

They’re not prone to emotional outbursts, and like Capricorn they tend to hold themselves back a lot when it comes to other people. You will know when you’ve pissed them off, but unless they have other combative placement in their chart (Jungkook has that good Virgo Mercury/Leo Moon) they won’t resort to using their Mars until the last straw.

His Scorpio Mars is completely at odds with his Libra Venus. Libra talks about making smart choices, complacent and able to compromise (mold themselves to others) until proven completely unjustified. Scorpio Mars talks about the will of self, uncompromising of their choices and feelings, and utterly stubborn until they’ve crashed and burned. This scares his Libra, and often scares the Virgo side of him too.

Scorpio will power can be a sight to see, but it can also border on obsession when it’s focused on a person/goal they want to achieve.

It’s fixed nature allows it to be strong, often unfazed in the worst challenges or difficult situations-- as they meet the waves head-on.

Their strength can turn into weakness. Since the uncompromising position can make them obstinate and often times-- selfish.

To a Scorpio Mars, it’s all about riding that wave. More so than any logical or rational behaviour, they feel alive when they embrace the things they fear and transform that energy into making immense changes.

There’s a true sense of rawness to a Scorpio Mars will power-- and it’s a testament to how competitive Jungkook could be sometimes.

Scorpio Mars possess an ability to see through others (Pluto influence) they can manipulate and maneuver others to cater to their best advantage. Yet most of them don’t tend to use it for nefarious reasons, often time it’s for the betterment of the situation or just so they don’t hurt the other’s feelings sometimes.

Jungkook’s Leo Moon/Virgo Sun/Libra Venus would hate this placement if he ever uses it for evil. The power in and of itself-- to be evil or to not-- scares them. Despite being one of the most powerful placement on his chart, he works hard on suppressing this and channelling only a small part of his Scorpio Mars instead.

Virgo Sun/Mercury doesn’t like disorder, it’s in direct discordance with the structure and self-reliance they’re trying to build (as well as Libra’s harmonious quality) -- often his Scorpio Mars are restricted, almost like it’s working in retrograde, but with his mars repressed it can often lead to him using his Virgo Mercury as an outlet for those inner frustrations instead.

There’s a sense that his Virgo/Libra placement has a strong need for harmonious quality without any of the negative effect. He often holds himself back from feeling negative emotions, often repressing himself and not really understanding who he really is sometimes (slower to realize how he’s feeling since he doesn’t allow negative emotion).

Now, that’s in the kind-of-distant past. Jungkook now has a much easier time unwinding these inner tension inside of himself now. He probably realizes it too, that heading towards his current direction he would only be faced with self-inflicted challenges and difficulties if his other placement doesn’t get the space/time to shine.

Through some understanding and effort, he can work on un-suppressing these placements. His Libra Venus meditates between the Virgo Sun/Mercury into letting his Leo Moon/Scorpio Mars come through. Focusing bit by bit on accepting his Scorpio placement would really help him become more discriminatory of people as he matures.

Now let’s touch on that 2nd Decan. Scorpio in the 2nd Decan ruled by Uranus/Pisces accentuate the positive qualities in both signs.

With Pisces love and compassion, combined with Scorpio’s intensity and focused will-power, there’s a deep need for meaningful relationship and they’re often much more sentimental and willing to give than both of their native signs combined.

Pisces sun and Scorpio suns both have problems expressing their love and needs in the external world-- but not when it’s in Mars/in Decans with each other.

Jungkook lucks out in this one, since his Scorpio Mars placement makes him externalize kindness (Pisces) giving-natured (Scorpio) and sentimentality (Pisces) -- often appearing much more romantic and forlorn in seeking the perfect, idealized romance in his life (Pisces/Scorpio/Libra).

There’s an ability to tune in to unusual wavelengths and sympathize with those who aren’t as ‘conventional’ than most. It comes with Pisces, an intuition from the subconscious that he makes up in empathy and kindness instead of intellectual understanding for others (Sagittarius-traits).

Aspects:

Mars (Scorpio) - Square- Jupiter (Aquarius) (R)

Despite how lucky he is with such a good and pure (yes, pure) Mars placement, the way he uses it might pose a problem anyways.

With his physical energy in a difficult position against his expansion/the general public, lady luck doesn’t seem to find it all that endearing sometimes.

Scorpio’s fixated nature (see: obstinate and head strong) tends to come out too much. He often refuses to listen to anyone else, uses physical exertion to settle decisions/habits (see: hitting his hyungs even when he doesn’t mean any harm by it) lash out when he panics or over-works his body in physical activities in order to calm down/settle his anxious mind/blockage.

Mars (Scorpio) - Square - Uranus (Aquarius) (R)

This aspect combined with the one above makes him act kind of bullheaded sometimes.

With the slow moving interception of luck (Jupiter) and vision (Uranus) in his Mars, he can be prone to moving/doing something before thinking it through and often leading himself into sticky situations that way.

Its like the one strong character playing in a team-based game rushing off on their own and the rest of the team couldnt catch up in time to revive them.

Kinda dumb mistake but with great power comes a great need for patience and to listen to others sometimes right?

Conclusion:

A lovely boy, a full-ass Virgo. Even more Virgo than Namjoon. Jungkook is Virgo in ALOT of ways.

He has so many different tonality to his chart through his placements and decans that you can see why Aries Moon (See: Jin, Taehyung) would be attracted to his Leo/Aries Decan Moon. Or his Libra/Aquarius Venus would attract/endure those with strong Aquarius (See: Hoseok, Taehyung) to him.

I know I didn’t explain all the good lovely traits of a Libra but we all been knew how they’re like, I’ll probably go more into detail about it on either Namjoon (Libra Mercury) or Jimin (Libra Sun/Mercury)’s chart.

With Jungkook, it’s just so fascinating to look at how his aspect is working for him/against him. Because that’s the main meat and grit to his character isn’t it? He faces his own challenges in his life and he overcomes it.

I think Jungkook is amazingly perceptive to his own person/chart, like either has amazing intuition or he just naturally know when to fix certain things in his character as he matures.

Out of all the member, Jungkook is the one who’s developing at the fastest pace. I have a feeling that Jin had a period where he developed himself to a ‘good level’ and then stopped. But Jungkook is more of a consistent and stable climber, he really sneaks up on you.

We talk so much about his Libra placement but we really don’t touch enough on his Scorpio or Virgo ones like? He’s the one with the double Virgo placement here.

I don’t think there’s anything to worry about with him tbh, he’s so self-aware and just? so good at dealing with himself that he’ll get through anything and survive.

Not to mention recently he’s been handling himself differently than how he did before (I think around HYYH - end of DNA was the period where he feels static and is still figuring himself out?) After Fake Love debuted he’s OFF! doing his own thing now, and I’m glad for it since it means he kinda figured something out within himself.

💕Hello! Thank you for reading this far! I tried my best with this post and wanted to give you some Good vibes to read in this hectic time in the bts-realm! I hope all this makes sense but I might come back and try to work through some kinks to make it flow better (I’m a bit dissatisfied with it) but at this point it’s been in my draft for too long and i want it out! After this, I have some girl group stuff I haven’t posted saved up so I’ll be going back to the regular girl-group schedule before I finish a BTS related post again, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! 💕

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honeybammie · 6 years

Text

seoul › kim namjoon

↳ in which you leave your heart in seoul, seven thousand miles away from new york city ↳ angst, but ends in fluff? sorta? you’ll see

Moving seven thousand miles away from Namjoon was the hardest thing I ever did, but in the end, I had no choice. I would’ve stayed with him in Seoul if I had been rejected from the top film school in New York, but the day my acceptance letter came in the mail, our the time left in our relationship was no more than a few grains left in the hourglass.

“I’ll wait for you,” he tried to say, but four years apart to a couple of eighteen-year-olds was practically a lifetime, and whether or not I’d ever return to Korea was one of the biggest questions of all, especially when cities like New York and Los Angeles might’ve given me a lifetime of opportunity. I broke both of our hearts and turned them into shattered pieces, and for months afterwards I pricked myself on the jagged edges that remained.

We stayed in touch for a year, perhaps, but distance and time are a lethal combination, and fresh heartache faded to a bitter taste in the back of my throat. Gradually, we stopped answering each other’s calls, fabricating excuses that we had been too busy or too tired, but we were only too tired of pretending we could be friends.

His features faded from time. His dimpled cheeks and dainty, sloped nose blurred among eight million faces, and with Seoul’s even larger population, Namjoon undoubtedly felt the same about me. I fell into bed with new people, as would he. I found new coffee shops and places to buy my clothes, as would he.

By the time my junior year rolled around, I stopped missing him. My phone number changed. I cut my hair, bought my own apartment with two close college friends, assimilated to the city as if I had never come from Seoul in the first place.

My greatest accomplishment was in filming, as I always hoped. Professors dipped my short productions in praise, and I scored myself a paid internship at a nearby film studio. On the internet, I attracted a small—but growing—community who motivated me to release more. Whoever first coined New York as the city that never sleeps hadn’t been joking. There was no time to sleep, between classes and the internship and filming new videos and keeping my roommates in check while trying my damnedest to maintain a normal social life.

Graduation made the juggling process easier, but hardly. The studio hired me full-time with a generous starting salary, but if we were filming, I might be at work for twelve, fourteen hours. Art is art and the artist drives himself mad in pursuit, and I was no different, but maybe it would be nice to sleep again. My roommates pointed out that they’d go weeks without seeing me, like I was a ghost in our apartment. All traces that I had been there were still present—unmade bed, empty shampoo bottles, half-eaten dinners shoved into Tupperware containers—but I had not been truly present in some time.

I was happy, but I missed interaction. The artist may think he can live off merely his art, but he will eventually realize he is human, too, and second to oxygen, he needs other humans.

Which is why I didn’t think twice when my parents asked me to fly into Seoul for a week during the summer. They usually visited New York a couple times a year, but they were growing older and the flights were taking bigger tolls on them, so I filled in. A trip home might alleviate some of my stress anyway, and I’d have the chance to meet with friends I hadn’t seen in half a decade.

The only problem with travelling a fourteen-hour time difference was the jet-lag. My first day, I passed out on the couch at two in the afternoon. The smell was comforting and reminded me of childhood and the nostalgia became a lullaby that rocked me to sleep in the middle of a conversation with my mother. She let me be, covering me with a blanket and preparing a cup of tea for when I woke.

I tried to sleep again in the evening. My parents went to bed at midnight, but I tossed and turned for an hour to no avail. Luckily, there was always one person I could call at 1AM and expect an answer every time: Jung Hoseok.

He picked me up not twenty minutes later, shouting on my front porch about how many years it had been and how my face matured and how hot I looked. I shushed him when a neighbor’s dog started barking, and he yanked me into his car.

“Have you talked to Jimin yet? Or Yoongi? They wonder about you all the time,” he gushed. “We’ve seen all of your videos on YouTube, and we placed bets on how old you’ll be when you become a millionaire. I said twenty-seven, so you still have a few years, but you should probably start planning as soon as you can.”

Hoseok fired a million questions a minute, hardly granting me the opportunity to answer, but he made up for it by constantly making me laugh. Even when I tried to glare at him at a slightly-too-personal inquiry, he smirked at me out of the corner of his eye, and I forgave him in an instant. He was always the biggest personality in the room, and he was on his way to opening the dance studio he had always dreamed of as a teenager.

“Can you believe it? We’re both achieving everything we ever dreamed of!” he beamed.

“Well…sort of,” I said with a shrug, and he almost swerved into oncoming traffic as he whipped his head to stare at me in shock. “What? Don’t kill us, Hoseok.”

“You’re living the New York dream life. You’re making short movies and you have your own growing fan base. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Of course, but…it’s lonely sometimes, and my roommates and I still talk, but our friendship has faded since college. I’d prefer you, Yoongi, and Jimin a hundred times over.”

“None of us would complain if you moved back,” he suggested. “If you needed a place to stay, your parents would surely let you, or you’re welcome to live with me. I’m in a one-bedroom right now, but we’d figure something out, and—”

“That isn’t what I meant,” I interrupted. “I gave up everything to be able to make a life in New York, and I’m doing it. I’m making good money. The apartment is nice enough. I—”

“You can make good money and get a nice apartment in Seoul,” Hoseok said. “I’m not asking you to give up your life, but if you aren’t as happy there as you always thought you’d be, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your decision. That’s all. Do you want to get some drinks?”

“Do you mind if we get drinks another night?” I asked, never one to tear him away from a party, but I hadn’t walked the city streets in so long that I missed them, and I didn’t want to forget my first night home after winding up black-out drunk in the back of Hoseok’s car. “Show me the city. What’s new? What hasn’t changed?”

“Right. I have a place for you, and luckily, we’re pretty close,” he said, taking the next left. “Remember that underground music venue we always used to go to? They sold old records and sometimes featured live artists sometimes?”

I nodded.

“It’s gotten pretty popular over the years. One of their guys seems to be on the cusp of making it big, so the crowd might be a little bigger,” he warned.

“I’ve lived in two of the biggest cities in the world. Crowds don’t scare me,” I said. “Are you sure we’ll be able to make it inside, though?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure,” he said, parking his car on the side of the road and leading me a couple blocks down vaguely familiar streets. The memories came back to me—buying school supplies from that store over there, or makeup from the place on the corner because I wanted to impress my peers. There were a couple places I didn’t recognize at all.

“Is this the line?” I asked at the sight of fifty or so people—mostly in their twenties—standing around the venue Hoseok and I used to slip into with little more than a five minute wait. “How aren’t they at capacity?”

“They’ve had to expand, and with the expansion they introduced VIP passes for a few of the regulars,” Hoseok said, digging a card out of his pocket as he strolled passed the waiting swath of people like he owned the entire place.

“Are you sure that’ll get me in?” I worried, but he merely waved his hand at me.

“Jin!” Hoseok greeted the worker, who I somewhat remembered was a couple years older than me in school, but I never spoke to him. Apparently he and Hoseok were well acquainted.

“Hoseok! Who is your friend?” Jin asked, but upon closer inspection his eyes widened in recognition. “I remember you! You moved to New York, right? Hoseok mentions you all the time.”

“Yeah, it’s great.” I forced myself to chuckle a little, trying my best to be polite. “Is it alright that I cut in front of all these people?”

“Normally, I’d say no, but I get the feeling Hoseok would never let me hear the end of it,” Jin tsked. Hoseok laid down a few bills in front of him, and Jin nodded for us to head inside, down the steps.

The bar was larger, equipped with more shimmering glasses than ever, and the standing area had easily doubled in size, perhaps tripled, which a slightly lifted stage whereas singers used to stand eye-to-eye with their audience. A dim light bathed the space in red.

“Red?” I said aloud. “Sexy.”

“Or angry,” Hoseok proposed, spending the next fifteen or so minutes chatting my ear off while people filled in around us. We weren’t near the front, but the view was good enough regardless, and in the event I would need to make a hasty exit, we were close to the stairs.

There was no warning that anyone was about to walk onto the stage. No announcement to introduce his presence was made, but the crowd knew. The shouting leveled to a murmur in the moments leading up to the grand reveal.

Then they erupted. One glimpse, and they became an entire stadium of fans, hands stretched into the air while lungs strained for breath.

But for my heart, the moment was anything but worthy of celebration.

If I thought Namjoon was handsome five years ago, he was breathtaking now, with the same sloped nose and dimples, but he matured into his features and his new confidence hit me full force. He changed his hair, too. Just like me.

But he was so, so angry. With the world. Sometimes with his friends or himself, but mostly with me.

“Why would you bring me here?” I shoved Hoseok’s arm. “What makes you think I’d want to see him, of all people?”

He narrowed his eyes, still moving with the music. “You broke up when you were eighteen. I thought you’d be over it by now and might want to see that he’s making something of himself, too.”

“I’m over it, but are you even listening to him? Half of these songs have been about me.”

“You were a big influence on his music. Don’t you think it’s kind of flattering?” Hoseok argued. “Most of the ones about you are from years ago, anyway, but he’s got to keep performing the fan favorites. Heartbreak resonates with people.”

He made complete sense, but that didn’t mean I wanted to admit that or stand and listen to the words coming out of Namjoon’s mouth.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” I said, winding my way to the steps. I shut myself in the upper-level bathroom, where the voices downstairs were muffled and thus unintelligible.

Namjoon enrolled in a music school in Seoul, always praying that he’d be that one-in-a-million to make his music known on a global stage. He sang me to sleep so many times and rapped with more passion than most professionals. I believed in him more than myself, and he was on his way, but hearing the vehemence that backed his words made me hate him so slightly.

When others started coming into the bathroom at a quicker rate, I realized the music had ended. I exited to find the crowd filing their way out. How long had I been hiding?

“There you are.” Hoseok took my arm and pulled me towards him. “I started to think you left without me. Look, if I crossed a line by bringing you here—”

“How can I talk to him?” I blurted out, unaware that I had even thought of the question, but it was out in the open.

“You’re sure you want to do that?” he asked, giving me the chance to back out, but I nodded my head. “You know you aren’t allowed to hit him, right?”

“Yes, now please tell me, or I might hit you,” I threatened.

“Go back downstairs. Off the side of the stage, there’s a hall. He’ll be in the room on the end,” Hoseok said, handing me the VIP card. “There’s a guard. Show him this.”

“Thank you. Wait here.” I snatched the card and hurried back to the basement, following Hoseok’s set of instructions until my hand was on the doorknob of Namjoon’s room. What do you say to your ex-boyfriend who just performed several rap songs about your break-up to several hundred people?

Apparently, you don’t have to speak first anyway.

I only step halfway into the room when he catches my reflection in the mirror. The ice pack he was pressing to his neck falls to the floor, and he’s on his feet faster than if I’d told him the building was about to collapse.

“You’re here,” he breathes. “I saw you in the crowd, but you left, and I thought you were gone for good. Again.”

Again. I wince at the word. “Clearly you had a lot to say about me, so I came to give you the chance to say it to my face. If you hated me so much, why—”

“No, no, no, no.” He crosses half the floor in a few steps but stops in the middle of the room because he remembers that he can’t wrap his arms around me anymore when I need the comfort. “Those songs were all written years ago. Three, four, or five years, and they aren’t the only ones I wrote. I have sappy ballads and about a dozen songs titled ‘I Miss You’ and I can perform those at the breakfast café, but this isn’t the crowd for that.”

“A breakfast café?” I ask. He nods. “How many venues do you have booked?”

“Depends how many openings a place has—sometimes two or three, but other times up to six,” he says, attempting to mask his pride, but he glows a little brighter.

“So you aren’t angry all the time?”

He rocks his head side to side. “No,” he decides. “I’m angry some of the time, but isn’t everyone?”

“So you’re happy?” I ask. “This is what you want, right?”

This question is, evidently, more difficult to answer. “I’m…happy with the music, sure. And the fans,” he supposes. “There’s talk that I might go to a couple cities around the country and do a few performances, but we’ll see.”

“What about your friends? Your social life?” I ask. “How’re those things?”

“You care?” he wonders, and I nod. “I have a few people I’ve been working with, and they’re all great. They’re so passionate about getting me off the ground, and I love them, but I miss having actual friends sometimes, and going out for drinks, or seeing concerts.”

“Filming has been kind of the same way for me,” I admit. “Weird, don’t you think? How we both went after what we wanted, but one year after graduating, we’re both stuck already.”

“I’ve seen your work. It’s phenomenal,” he mumbles, rubbing his neck. “I tried to text you about it once, but you must’ve gotten a new number and I didn’t want to bother you.”

“We both bothered each other, don’t you think?” I ask, recalling how we mutually drifted apart after all the missed calls and unread messages. “We weren’t capable of being friends. It took me two years to stop missing you.”

“What about the last three years? Do you ever think of me?”

“I…sometimes.” I shrug, unsure of myself. “When I talk about high school, you’re usually in the mix, or sometimes when I smell peppermint I think of your house, but I had to move on eventually. We both did.”

“Right, right,” he says, nodding in agreement. “But…I would’ve still loved you, you know?”

“You would’ve?” I ask. “That doesn’t even make any sense.”

“It does. If you stayed here, or if you asked me to wait for you like I offered, I think we could’ve done it.” His stage personality starts to fade and I recognize a younger, shyer Namjoon who figured out how to love someone with his whole heart when he was sixteen years old and spent two years doing anything and everything to make me happy, which included letting me break his heart and move across the world.

“But I didn’t stay, and I didn’t ask you to wait,” I say, “so the question isn’t a matter of whether you would’ve loved me, but a matter of if you still do.”

“I beg to differ. It’s not a matter of if I do, but of if I can,” he corrects me. “Because I can’t be in love with someone seven thousand miles away. Not again.”

“Haven’t we been over this before?” I mutter. Five years ago, I said the same things. I couldn’t survive a relationship and distance, so I chose the latter.

“When you said you weren’t sure you’d ever come back, but here you are,” he says, gesturing to me and he was giving us both a little more hope than we knew what to do with, bringing forth all the memories of when we were just teenagers in love and what could possibly be more convincing than that? Didn’t we deserve that again?

“My entire life is over there.” I shake my head. “How long has it been since we last spoke? And you’re talking about being in love? We have to most past this eventually.”

“You were the one who asked me if I still love you,” he points out. “Do you still love me?”

Of course I do.

The thought springs into existence as easy as air, even if it had been years since I last thought it. I’d always love him, even when I hated him so slightly.

“Does it matter?” I ask, pushing the feelings down, down, down into the pit of my stomach. “You said you can’t be in love with someone seven thousand miles away, and I can’t, either. That’s why we broke up.”

“But you aren’t seven thousand miles away right now.”

“So what? I’m here for a week,” I sigh at my growing headache. Namjoon always had been one to throw aside logic in a desperate attempt to keep what he wanted.

“Then we have a week,” he says.

“You’re out of your mind,” I tell him, but he knew that already. He had to.

“Maybe, but you aren’t saying no.” He catches onto me, and I swear at him in my head. “You haven’t walked out, either, which you used to do when you didn’t agree with me.”

“Storming out of rooms is too teenager-esque for me,” I say, but he’s crossing the room again. I either want to slap or kiss him, but I’ll figure it out for sure in the moment. “You really think we can pretend this is a good idea for a week?”

He nods. “I really do.”

“Good enough for me.”

I grab the collar of his shirt with both hands and pull him to me, his lips meeting mine in a less than graceful collision but our love had never been pretty in the first place.

In a week, I’ll regret the decision. I’ll hate myself for kissing him. I’ll hate myself for asking to see him. I’ll hate myself for turning down Hoseok’s offer to drink ourselves into a stupor, or for leaving my parents’ house in the first place, but not yet. Not when Namjoon is standing right in front of me and his hands are in my hair and we’re eighteen again.

For the next six days, we have all the time in the world.

a/n: have i mentioned how much i love kim namjoon bc i love him with my entire heart that’s all

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jiminandlemonade-blog · 6 years

Text

Penpals / Don’t Leave Me - Part 13

Jimin:

Series: Fluff/minor angst

PART 13/15

New to the series? Part 1

Missed the last chapter? Part 12

"Jihyun" you exhaled, not believing what was about to come out of your mouth. "Yes Y/N?" He said, shooting back a bewildered look. "I am so in love with your brother. A man I have never met and I feel as though I never will. He's famous now and that makes everything so much more complicated. How can I wait around for a man who may love me back but can't contact me? What does he expect me to do?" You said wide eyed, trying not to let the tears falls.

"I think that's why he wants you to get back into acting. Get your mind of everything. He doesn't want you to wait around for him but he doesn't want you to fall in love with anyone else" Jihyun explained. "Me fall in love with someone else? Jihyun, I have never and know that I will never feel like this about a person again. If anything, I'm worried that he will fall in love with someone else." You replied back, wiping away the tears that had tumbled down your cheek.

"Y/N, Jimin wouldn't do that. You know him. Focus on yourself. He would hate to know you were in this way about him" he soothed. You smiled and said your goodbyes, blaming your tiredness for why you were so emotional but really, you were just emotional end of.

You logged off and stared at the blank computer screen In front of you. You hand wandered over to your phone and immediately scrolled to Jimin's name.

Y/N: I really miss you.

Undelivered.

"I can't do this anymore" you spluttered through a river of tears. It seemed as though you had bottled everything up whilst at University and then everything flooded out as soon as you got home. You tucked yourself as far under the quilt as possible and started screaming into it to mute your voice and not wake your parents.

The next thing you knew, you were woken to the sound of your father banging on your door as you were lay half across the bed with your legs sticking out of the side. "There's someone on the phone for you" he said, passing you the phone as you tried to wake yourself up, rubbing your eyes and letting out a yawn.

"Um, hello?" You yawned louder, expecting it to be a friend. "Hello Y/N, this is Rose from People's Entertainment. Are you okay?" She asked. You scoffed and immediately stood up. Why was the first acting company you auditioned for, the one Jimin pushed you to attend, calling you? "I-I-, I'm so sorry if I sound off. I have just woke up after a late night studying" you lied, not wanting to sound pathetic that you were really crying over a main vocalist in a k-pop band. "No worries Y/N, I just realised it's only 8am".

You just laughed, not knowing what to say. "If you don't remember me, I was one of the casting directors from your audition at People's Entertainment over a year ago. I was so impressed with your ability and I really wanted you to have the part by the way – that being said-". Hold on. Was an acting casting director praising your work?! You stood there in absolute shock, no air leaving your gaping mouth.

"-that being said, unfortunately you didn't get the job role. However, I have an excellent opportunity for you and I would really love it if you would take part in the audition." You couldn't believe what you were hearing. "Me-me, why?" You stammered. "I know it may come as a bit of a shock but I couldn't get you out of my head when this job role popped up. I was hoping and praying that your phone number hadn’t changed". She started rambling on some more and you couldn't believe what you were hearing. A casting director was recommending YOU for an audition. No open auditions, no begging to be given a chance..

Your brain finally started catching up with your hearing after the whole whirlwind. "the series is based on a girl who ends up being cursed and is restricted from talking to the people she loves most". You gulped. Was this character you? "The auditions will be based in Japan". "Japan?!" You exclaimed, getting all giddy with excitement as it is a place you have always wanted to visit. "Yes. Because our company is sending you over for the audition, flights and accommodation is paid for by us. We would like you to come to our main offices just to explain a few more details". Your head was about to burst. And the rest of the call was a whirlwind.

"Dad, hurry, we're going to be late!" You shouted through the front door. Your parents cared for you dearly but sometimes, they were too over protective. Even wanting to drive you the 30 miles to the main office.. However seemingly happy about Japan.

The car journey flew over as you were scanning maps and travel guides of Japan. You had no idea what you were in store for, but couldn't wait to explore a new culture. "You should have learned Japanese not Korean" your mother laughed in the middle of one of your favourite songs. It instantly put you in a bad mood. Jimin was the only reason you came across Korean in the first place. Jimin was the only reason you were on your way to this audition. Pursue your dreams, remember?

Pulling outside of the offices, you couldn't believe the enormity of it all. Someone even came out of the offices to help you out of the car and was going to valet your car. Your parents were baffled. "It's fine, we'll park the car" your mother smiled, and then shot an odd look towards you and your father.

Before you had time to take anything in, you turned around and there was a woman in your face. "Rose?" You asked, recognising her face from your past auditions but wanting to be sure. "Yes. Now please, come on in.. There's so much to discuss!" She exlaimed. She gave you the option for your parents to be in the room with you but you already have the conversation with them. This was totally up to you and they didn't want their expressions to deter interest from the role or influence you in anyway. It was ultimately your decision.

You sat down in the office as she came over and handed a menu of drinks. Pick 2, we might be here some time. "I'll have an orange juice and a vanilla latte please" you smiled back at her. She put yours and her order through the intercom and then slammed down in her chair.

"I'm really excited about this. I have such a good feeling" she smiled. "I just can't believe what's happening" you spoke softly, starting to get slightly shy. She immediately went into talking about the companies cut if you got the part, that you would be signed to their management etc but when she mentioned the wages, you were shocked. "Wait, how much?!" You breathed roughly. You could feel your heart racing louder and louder. "£1300 an episode and it's a 20 episode arch, which will be filmed in 3 months, and it is expected to have a minimum of two seasons. Everyone is really excited about this one." she repeated again.

The words couldn't escape your lips. That was £26,000 in 3 months. More than your father's yearly wage. "In that time your accommodation, flights and any other expenses will be paid for by the producers of the show." You wanted to jump around with glee but needed to remain professional.

After a brief chat, Rose got talking more about the part. "So like I said, it’s a minimum of 2 seasons based on you, the main character. I don't know too much as they don't want to give away the plot but they summarise it as being she is someone who lives an ordinary live but has lost the man of her dreams through no fault of her own. It's based 100 years from now when technology is even more advanced and but there is a technological error and it ends up sending people she loves dearly away from her and she has no idea where they are.. Or even if they're on this planet". You couldn't believe how similar the situation was, not about the advances technology but having no idea where the love of your life is.

"It sounds amazing" you smile, feeling as though you could capture the roll really well. "So, do you want to audition?" She asked rather quickly. You replied back rather abruptly too "yes, of course!". "I'll get everything sorted for you and will email you with flight details to Tokyo". She seemed pleased with herself. Pleased that you had agreed.

You went to reach for your back when you realised something. "Sorry to disturb you whilst you are on the computer Rose but I was just wondering whether the title was a work in progress? Just because you haven't told me the title of the series.". She hit herself on the forehead with her left hand. "I knew there was something I needed to do. I had to get it translated" she laughed to herself.

"Hold on, I will ring Carlos, he's good with languages." You sat patiently on the chair as she was talking to Carlos on the phone. "Carlos, it's not coming through" she said down the phone, talking about the fax not being sent over. You were waiting in anticipation.

"Carlos is coming, he said you might be able to help" she smiled. You looked at her slightly bewildered but her comment went straight over your head. Your mind wandered and then came back when you heard the sound of the fax machine. You stood up from your chair and walked over to it and saw it being printed out. Your destiny, your future.

"No wonder I was confused" Carlos joked walking through the door. "I was reading it upside down and thought it didn't make any sense in a language I know".

Your heart stopped and you gulped looking at the fax.

당신을 향한 열망

"A yearning for love" you and Carlos said in unison. Carlos said this proudly whilst you exhaled. You could understand it. Why could you understand it? "Why is it in Korean?" You laughed, hoping it was some sort of joke. "What do you mean?" Rose looked back at you confused. "Shouldn't it be in Japanese?" You questioned back, hands starting to shake slightly. "Y/N, the audition is in Tokyo but the series is being filmed in South Korea." she smiled back at you.

When your mind was wandering at the thought of this audition, you missed her talking about some important information. South Korea.

How could you pursue your dreams in the country that the love of your life resides? You weren't ready for this.

Part 14

MASTERLIST

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p-jiminaa · 6 years

Text

Noona, you okay? (part 6)

Jungkook and You

Summary : Jungkook fall in love with someone as same age as Jin, you.

Genre : Fluffy.

Next Part

Attn: Gif not mine. Credit to the owner.

I was reading on my novel in the living room before I heard a bell sound. I don’t think I order anything today. I put down my novel on the table and walked to the door and looked through the peephole before opening the door. Jungkook? How did he know I live here? I never tell him. Well I was going to tell him but I haven’t got a chance yet.

“Hello Babe..” He greet me once I opened the door for him.

“Hai...” I opened the door and gestured him to come in. He then put away his shoes and went straight to the living room.

“How did you know I live here?” I questioned him while he already laid down on the couch. Looks like he ‘made himself at home’ since he’s already lying on the couch.

“From Ji Sung Hyung.” He answered while observing me, from head down to toe. What is that stare suppose to mean?

“What?”

Smile appeared on his lips. He shook his head and said “Seeing your messy bun hair style and you in your simple attire, I can’t believe that I am yours.” I narrowed my eyes. Isn’t that suppose to be ‘he can’t believe that I am his’? This proud maknae!

“Okay seriously, why are you here? I thought you have practice today.” That what he told me earlier. I approached him and stood in front of him. He then pulled me down to lie on top of him.

“Actually, I’m bringing you out.”

“Where?”

“My members. They said that I need to introduce you to them.” What? As if they didn’t know me.

“Why would you introduce me, they know me already.”

“They know you as y/n, a lawyer who worked for the company not as y/n, who is going to be their sister in law.”

“Ouh I am going to be their sister in law. Who I am going to marry then?” I said it playfully, trying to annoy him.

“Jimin hyung. You can marry him.” He said it with his sarcastic tone. He still remember about that?

“Really? Wow! I thought I am going to marry you.”

“Of course its me.” He pouted.

“Yeah it’s you Jungkook. Unless you want me to marry Jimin then...”

“Don’t even dare to continue your words Noona.” I smirked. Aww... Jealous Jungkook is something I didn’t see everyday.

“Aww... is my baby jealous?” He narrowed his eyes. I wiggled my right eyebrow. He rolled his eyes.

“Okay, I am going to change.” I got up and walked straight towards my room.

“Babe... Five minutes. If not I am leaving you here.” I stopped walking and turned my body towards him. Seriously? That is such a short time to change plus I have to do my hair, my make up, putting on my lens.

“What? No! I need to ....”

“Babe you don’t have to wear make up. Its only them and I don’t want you to show them how beautiful you are. Only I can see your beautiful side.”

“But..”

“Babe move now. Or else seriously.. you are going to hail taxi to go there.” I rolled my eyes, annoyed.

“Fine.” I walked to my room and closed the door harshly, to shows my annoyance to him.

***

I was greets by the six members when I entered their dorm. They were standing in front of me while Jungkook close the door and then stand beside me.

“Two three, hello.. we’re Bangtan...” Err what?

“Hyung.. I introduce you, the love of my life, y/n.” I turned my head to Jungkook. So this is what he meant by introducing myself to them?

“Ah hello, I am y/n. His girl.” I pointed Jungkook while saying ‘his girl’ part.

“Hai! I am Jimin.” Jimin then approached me and extended his hand to shake my hand. Followed by others. Even Yoongi and Jin did the same though I can sensed Yoongi insincere face doing that. This must be either Tae or Jimin’s plan and all of them were forced to do the same.

“So are we done yet?” I questioned them.

“Actually we have more things to show you. Just wait and see.” Hoseok said that playfully. Now what is that supposed to mean?

“But first, come in Noona.” Namjoon invited me in. Finally! I though we are going to stay in this position forever.

***

“Jinnie where is Jungkook?” I was helping Jin in the kitchen and Jungkook never came to check on me. Well, I am not trying to be clingy or what but I think that what any man would do if they brought their Girlfriend home. They must be worry whether their girlfrined will be able to familiarize themselves or not but since I know them already, I guess Jungkook didn’t have to worry about it so he left me here, in the kitchen with Jin.

“Maybe he’s playing game with Tae. Go check up on him.” He smiled. I walked to the living room but didn’t see Jungkook with them. Namjoom and Hooseok were watching movie while Jimin and Tae were busy playing the games. Yoongi? Well he’s already napping on the couch. Hooseok who was watching TV realized that my eyes was searching for Jungkook and told me that Jungkook is probably in his room. I then walked to his room and found his door were left open ajar. I approached his room and before I was able to push open it I heard him talking on the phone and that stopped me from entering his room.

“Why are you calling me now?” My eyebrows furrowed listening to that. His voice sounded weak, not the normal voice.

“No of course she’s not here. She’s in the kitchen helping Jin Hyung. I am in my room.” He continued talking.

“Oh my God! why are you crying? What happened Hee Ra?” He sounds so worry. I am still curious who is he talking to. I never see him with any girl in the company except for the staff.

“Why are you making it difficult now Hee Ra. I am with someone now.” Someone? He did not even mentioned my name to her but Hee Ra? Whose that? I never heard of this name before.

“No I didn’t moved on too fast. I am with her so that I can forget about you.” My eyes widened listening to that.

“God Damn it! Don’t make it to difficult for me Hee Ra.” Seems like I know Hee Raa now without even asking him. So I am just a rebound then? And he’s going to left me after he can fully forget about Hee Ra? I felt tears filled up my eyes. I walked to the nearest bathroom and that when I cried my heart out. Stupid y/n. It only been a month. Why are you crying as if you’ve been with him for a years. But he promised me. He promised he would love me, he would cherish me and he would never.... Oh my God! Now I felt stupid! Why would he wanted to be with me when we barely know each other. He proposed me after two days we’ve known each other. Yes y/n. You are the stupid one here, not him. You should never make a decision based on feeling again.

I was arranging the food on the table and Jungkook suddenly appeared and stand beside me. I guess he just finished his phone call with Hee Ra.

“You cook all of this?” He was really excited seeing there is so much food on the table. I shook my head. I tried my best to bring back my mood since I came out from the toilet but I can’t. My heart hurt so much and I think I can cry at any moment right now. Why would I stay in the first place? I should have gone after I heard that but no. I don’t want to answer any question regarding my disappearance nor I am ready to face the reality about me being just a rebound.

“Jin cooked it. I only helped a little.” I then walked to the kitchen again and took the other food and placed it on the table.

“Yah.. lets eat..” Jin shouted to all of them and in the flash, all of them ran to the table and took a seat. I took a seat beside Jungkook and his phone suddenly rang. Must be Hee Ra. He turned his body from me and rejected the call. He didn’t want me to see whose the caller is so that why he turned his body from me. Right after he put his phone on the table, it rang again. I didn’t have to see whose the caller is. I know that her. Jungkook took the phone and turned his body from me again.

“Jungkook just answer it!” Yoongi who was sitting opposite him was already pissed off. Jungkook then looked at me. I shrugged. He rejected the call again and continue eating and that when his phone rang again. I see Yoongi was already glaring at him, for not answering the phone.

“You can go to your room to answer the call.” I said that while chewing on my food. Yea, I can maintain a poker face in front of him when actually inside I am broken!

“Yea. Who know it might be important.” Namjoon agreed with me. Jungkook then stood up and walked fast towards his room.

“Are you okay Noona?” Jimin asked me. I think he realized about the changes of my behavior. I nodded my head.

“Noona, I heard you love to watch Run.” Tae tried to change the topic. I smiled. No mood to talk. No mood to make any joke. No mood for everything.

“Noona you have to watch the latest episode it was so...” Hooseok nudged Tae’s arm when he see me having no reaction about it.

“Noona, are you really okay?” Namjoon asked me worriedly. I lifted my head and nodded my head again.

“I am just tired. That all.” Weak excuse. I was really hyper when I came earlier. I even played game with Tae before I decided to help Jin in the kitchen.

***

“Noona, you okay?” I was replying a text from my lil brother when Jungkook approached and sit next to me. Jungkook asked me to come to his room after I finished helping Jin washing the dishes and while waiting for him to take a shower, I sat on his bed.

“Yeah. Why?” My eyes still on the screen.

“Cause you looked so down. I mean you were so hyper earlier. But you looked so down during the dinner and now too.” I did not reply him. To be honest, I didn’t know how to answer that. He took my phone from me.

“Jungkook...” I frowned.

“Babe something bothering you?” Yeah, you.

“I am just tired.” He frowned listening to that.

“Just stay here tonight. Beside you’re not working tomorrow.”

“Jungkook I can’t. I already asked my brother to fetch me up. He’ll be here in fifteen.”

“I can send you back. Why do you have to...”

“Because we are going back to our parent’s house tomorrow but my brother finished his work earlier than he expected today so we’re going back tonight and he’s almost here.”I interrupted him. He sound disappointed that I have to ask my brother to fetch me up when he can send me home.

“But its late.”

“Jungkook its only an hour ride. Its midnight. There will be no traffic.” My phone screen then lit up. I took my phone from his grab. My brother’s name appeared on the screen and I answered it immediately.

“Are you here? Okay, five minutes.” I hung up his call.

“My brother is here.” I stood up, put on my jacket and took my sling bag from his computer table.

“Are you sure you have nothing to tell me?” He looked at me,straight into my eyes. He looks so worry. I am the one that supposed to ask you that. You should just tell me I am just a rebound!

“I am going.” He then walked with me and I stopped him in the door.

“Just stay here. My brother is just outside.” He frowned.

“Goodbye Jungkook.” I walked straight to my brother’s car without even looking back, without waiting for his reply.

Masterlist

#bangtan boys #bts jeon jeongguk #jungkook #bts jungguk #jeongguk x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jeongguk #jeongguk imagines #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts army #golden maknae

21 notes · View notes

mortaljin · 7 years

Text

Formalities

Word Count: 6.2k Warnings: None Genre: Beginning fluff, angst and ending fluff. Royalty!au Pairing: Yoongi x female reader ft. a platonic Jimin

Summary: You were born to be queen; you enjoyed what you did and the people you could help. Yoongi, however, was not born to be king and begins to despise you when a decision you make forces him into your shadow. Will you be able to fix the crumbling relationship you had barely begun to form?

Masterlist

My Photo

The dark fabric fell against your form effortlessly, despite the heavy material. Flecks of silver dotted the dress from top to bottom and collected into a gorgeous lace crawling up your chest and the base of your neck. Although you had grown accustomed to the frivolous dresses many years ago, it never failed to bring a smile to your face every time you were told there was a ball to attend. Being royalty was a burden that some people with the title could not and would never be able to bear; you, however, relished in it. Yes, you had grown up more sheltered than others, and yes, your activities were, unfortunately, heavily monitored from the moment you arrived in this world, but you chose to see the sun behind the clouds.

Apart from the fact that you lived a life far better than most of those around you, you also had immense power and standing in the world. This power gave you the opportunity to do what you saw right and just; if there were people in the village who were struggling, you had the power to make changes necessary to ensure them an easier way of living; if there were unreasonable wars being held in far-off lands, you had the power to assist the nobility and their quest to bring peace to the world; if there was anyone in your kingdom who was unhappy, you could brighten their lives with the snap of your fingers.

So, you did.

When you were eleven years old, it was brought to your attention that one day you would, in fact, be the next ruler of this kingdom. When you were thirteen years old, you made a vow to yourself that you would be the queen that your people needed and deserved. When you were sixteen, you proved to your father that you had a knack for politics when you advised him on a situation happening in the village, and your advice proved him successful in resolving it. Since then, you have attended most, if not all, royal meetings and have been granted the option to voice your opinions; sometimes they were dismissed, sometimes they were followed, but they were always heard because whether your advice was right or wrong, your heart and soul was in the good of the people.

Now twenty-years-old, and nearing your twenty-first birthday, your parents had, of course, began to talk to you about inheritance. You weren’t keen on the idea of getting married anytime soon, but you weren’t completely against it either. A future husband would not be chosen and forced upon you; your parents were, thankfully, smart enough to realize that you could not properly lead your kingdom if the person ruling beside you was not one you wanted to be. Thus, the excuse for another extravagant ball, your parents were hoping you could meet ‘the one’ sometime soon.

“Is there anyone, in particular, you hope to see again tonight, Princess Y/N?” The servant girl wondered as she helped to perfect the bow on the back of your corset.

“How many times do I have to tell you, Monique? You know I don’t mind if you drop the title when we’re behind closed doors, you’ve become like a sister after how many years you’ve been attending to me.” The friendly scolding you had given the maid caused her to get flustered and choke out a laugh, causing you to laugh even louder at the look on her face. “Anyways, I don’t think so. A lot of the princes I’ve met so far have all been very kind, but none of them have really piqued my interest.” You shrugged your shoulders and sighed. You’ve met at least twenty princes, and at least fifty nobles and lords, and while they were as kind as you could hope for, they were cookie-cutters of each other.

“Well, perhaps tonight will be the night you find your prince charming.” Her optimistic words never failed to lift your spirits and help you hold your head a little higher.

You stood at the back of the ballroom, in your usual place to the right of your father, and watched as banner after banner of household names began to file in. The usual princes were there, as you were reluctantly expecting, and occasionally, a nobleman you hadn’t seen for some time entered the ballroom. So much for someone new, you briefly thought to yourself as the grand doors to the room were closed. Your father thanked the guests for attending and wished them a wondrous and exciting night. The music began to fill the room and it was now time for you to fulfill your duties as princess and make your rounds across the floor. First to ask for a dance was Park Jimin from the neighboring kingdom.

“How are you, Jimin?” Your voice almost being lost in your twirl, but he had heard you nonetheless.

“I’m doing well, and how are you, Princess Y/N?” You stifled a laugh and aimed to playfully hit his shoulder, but missed as he caught you in another spin.

“Jimin, we’ve known each other since birth, and you still dare to call me a princess? Don’t you remember when we were seven and you saw me eat dirt that day in the garden? Do princesses do that?” This warranted a deep bellow from Jimin as the two of you continued to glide across the floor.

“How could I ever forget that? Your mom was so angry that you were behaving so unladylike! Found a prince yet?”

“As if. Have you planned out your proposal to Minah yet?” Jimin’s love life was by far a better conversation topic than yours.

“Yes and no. I know what I want to say to her, but I don’t know when the right time is. I carry the ring around with me anytime I know she’ll be at the same place as me, just in case I work up the courage to do it.” He gushed, and you could tell how absolutely enamored he was with her. He began courting her over a year ago, and when questioned why he did so for so long, he simply said he wanted to make sure she was as in love with him as he was with her.

“Is she here tonight?” Jimin nodded his head and he titled his head slightly in confusion. “Propose to her tonight!” You squealed and Jimin began to shake his head fervently. “Oh, why not Jiminie? You love her and she loves you, there’s no better time to do it than at such an extravagant ball when she’s least expecting it!” But Jimin just chuckled and continued shaking his head. The song ended and another one began to play, meaning your conversation with your best friend has come to its end.

“We’ll see, we’ll see. Take care, Y/N, and don’t dance too much tonight!” You curtsied and bowed to one another and walked away waving and smiling at each other. Your mood had been lifted severely and you had a newfound energy to continue mingling with your guests.

You danced with a few more princes, each one more boring than the last before you decided to make your way outside for some fresh air. This was a task in and of itself as you were constantly stopped by the older lords and nobles; they all asked you to send their good wishes to your father as well as tried to make small talk about relations between your kingdoms. As you crossed the massive floor, almost making it out the balcony door, you caught a glimpse of an unfamiliar mint-colored banner with an unknown family crest. I will greet them later, right now I need to breathe. So, you continued your trek outside. It was not long, however, until you were being called back inside to continue your interactions.

“Y/N, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” Your father had called to you the second you had stepped back inside the ballroom, almost dragging you behind him.

“Father, who can this person be to make you so excited for me to meet him?” Your words were lost to the sounds of the people surrounding you and, finally, you were in front of two people you had never seen before.

“Y/N, this is his royal majesty King Min.” You were almost taken aback by your father’s formality; your father held such good standing with the other kings that they hardly used their royal titles when addressing each other. Suddenly, the new king in front of you feigned a punch to your father’s upper bicep, “Don’t you know assaulting a king is a declaration of war?” The two stared intently at each other for a brief pause before cackling and howling, embracing each other in a hug shortly after. Leaving both you and the young man in front of you slightly confused.

“It has been far too long since I’ve seen you. I need to stop waiting so many years for my visits!”

“That you do, that you do. Y/N, you don’t remember Min here since he hasn’t cared to drop by since your fifth birthday,” your father took another opportunity to poke fun at his old friend, “but has dropped by to discuss some much overdo politics.” King Min bowed deeply to you and grasped your hands in his.

“I knew you were going to grow up looking like your mother,” he glances at your father mischievously before continuing, “it would have been a shame if you looked like your old man. Ow! Okay, okay, stop pinching me!” You watched their playful interaction with a smile forming on your face, it was refreshing to see that your father hasn’t lost his humility after being king for so long. Their friendship reminded you of yours and Jimin’s, and you knew that your father and King Min were still the best of friends. “Anyways, this is my son, Yoongi, he’s never visited your kingdom before so I thought it’d be a nice change of scenery for him to come with me.” The two of you exchanged an awkward bow and curtsey as your father led King Min away, arms making wide gestures as he perhaps retold an age-old story.

“May I have this dance?” A hand reaching for you interrupted your thoughts as one of the dull princes you had been trying to avoid all night finally found you. Quickly you looked at Yoongi, and back to the prince waiting for your answer.

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I’ve already found my dancing partner for this song. You will have to find me again later.” You curtsied unapologetically and grabbed Yoongi’s hand, leading him to the center of the ballroom despite his protests.

The two of you moved in perfect rhythm as the sounds of violins, harps, and pianos rang throughout the room. There was not a single step missed, or a foot stepped on, only two people in perfect harmony. Being so close to Yoongi gave you a chance to really look at him; his features were soft, yet he gave off a hint of stoicism and strength. His hands were large and gentle as they held fast to your waist, and the shoulders you had placed your free hand upon were nothing but broad and charming. It was almost as if he had caught you admiring because the wide, gummy smile he was giving you had you lowering your eyes and blushing embarrassingly hard. The music seemed to end as quickly as it had started, and you felt a slight rise of disappointment at the idea of departing from the handsome prince you had just been acquainted with.

“Is there anywhere private to go, Princess Y/N?” The word ‘princess’ sounded like velvet as it rolled off his tongue. “I’m afraid that I’m not too fond of such a large crowd.” He smiled feebly and you could see him start to get antsy.

“Of course! Follow me, I know where we can go!”

The two of you strolled through the quiet garden, initially walking in comfortable silence. Night had fallen many hours ago and the moon shined brightly in the sky; causing both of you to stop in front of the little pond, admiring the white orb reflected on its surface. Yoongi let out a shaky sigh, barely loud enough for you to hear it, and had the wind been blowing you probably wouldn’t have. You heard him nonetheless, and you turned to face him with a hint of concern, pausing for a brief moment as you decided what to say.

“Is there something troubling you, Prince Yoongi?” The inquiry was meant to be sincere, but it made the man in front of you scoff and furrow his brows.

“I’m no prince, I’m afraid.” His words were said bitterly and you raised a brow in confusion. Seeing your reaction, he chuckled and continued, “well yes, by right and title I am a prince. But,” he stopped for a moment and inhaled deeply, “I don’t think I’m worthy of the title.”

“Prince Yoongi, I’m sure that’s not true!” Your protest came out quicker than you had originally intended. “You’ve no doubt received the lessons you need to be a great king.”

“That’s another thing, I won’t be king. Not likely anyways. I have an older brother who has the proper claim to the throne. So, I’m kind of just thrust to the side in everything. My advice isn’t even acknowledged during council meetings even when I’m right!” As Yoongi let out a grunt of frustration, you placed your hand on his arm in hopes to comfort him.

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Prince Yoongi, you deserve to have your voice heard whether you are right or wrong, it’s only fair.” Now it was you who was furrowing their brow, wishing there was more for you to say. Yoongi just smiled meekly and placed his hand on yours, squeezing it gently to let you know he appreciated the gesture.

“It’s alright, there’s no need for you to apologize, Princess Y/N. I should be the one saying sorry, in fact, you brought me out here to get me away from the crowd, yet here I am complaining to you about trivial matters that you probably don’t care for.”

“That’s not true, and please skip the formalities, it’s just the two of us out here. I do care, I care about what troubles the people I come across. I just wish there was more I could say to help you.” Your voice trailed off and you muttered the last part under your breath. To your surprise, Yoongi brought your knuckles to his lips.

“So, you really are as considerate and loving as the rumors say, Y/N.” You brushed off the compliment as your focus was still placed on the tingling sensation left on your hand.

“I try, you can’t rule a kingdom properly if your subjects resent you.” Your heart fluttered as you watched Yoongi give you another gummy smile.

“True that is. Now enough talk about kingdoms and duties, let’s make this conversation lighter, what do you say?” He held his right elbow out to you and the overly exaggerated look of poise caused you to laugh loudly. You fondly hooked your arm through his and continued your stroll through the garden.

The red roses had become engraved in your mind by the time you had walked past them for the umpteenth time. Conversation with Yoongi proved to be effortless and exciting. The topics discussed were far from the usual ones you held with the princes you had met previously. He told you of his hobbies and passions, and of the faraway lands he had seen. Each word that rolled off his tongue held great significance, even the ones that he mispronounced and stumbled over. Your laughter seemed to fill the empty garden on a repetitive cycle, and by the time your walk had come to an end you were clutching your stomach in joyous agony.

You weren’t exactly sure how long the two of you had been in the garden, hours perhaps. The original intention of escaping the ball was not to miss the entire thing but to get away for a moment. It was obvious, however, there was striking compatibility between you and Yoongi, and neither one of you wanted to go back inside to socialize. It was upon re-entering that you two realized that you had, indeed, missed the entire ball.

“Ah, there you two are!” Your father exclaimed as you and Yoongi made your way to where the two kings had settled near the thrones. “We were almost beginning to worry as to where you two had snuck off to!”

“Don’t worry father, I was just showing Yoongi the flowers in the garden.” You chuckled before kissing your father on the cheek. King Min and your father exchanged a look of amusement at your words.

“Fair enough. Anyways, there was something we wanted to discuss with you two.” A more serious tone took over your fathers normally playful one, and you and Yoongi glanced at each other nervously.

“Yoongi, I think it may do you well to see how other kingdoms are ruled. That’s why I want you to stay here with Y/N and hopefully take notes on how to grow fit to be a ruler.” Yoongi looked visibly hurt at his father’s condescending statement.

“Father, I don’t think that’s really necess-” his protest was cut off by a wave of the Kings hand, and for a moment you were disappointed by his lack of excitement at the opportunity to spend more time with you. “At any rate, I can’t allow myself to be a burden to Y/, I mean Princess Y/N and her father.”

“Nonsense my boy, it’d be a pleasure to have you as our guest here!” Your father dismissed Yoongi’s concern immediately, reassuring him that it was, in fact, not a problem. “I suppose this comes down to what my daughter wants. What do you think, Y/N?” You glanced between Yoongi and the kings as you weighed the two options in your head. If you said no, you would save Yoongi the discomfort of being forced into following your shadow, but you would not be able to grow closer to him. If you chose, however, to accept the Kings’ proposal, you would selfishly be putting your own feelings in front of Yoongi’s comfort and happiness. You smiled apologetically at Yoongi before giving your answer.

“Of course, father, King Min, it would be an honor to have Prince Yoongi join our castle for a while.” Your answer puts hope in your heart for your friendship and possible relationship with Yoongi, but that was quickly diminished when you saw the furious look on his face.

“That’s settled then, Yoongi, I will have someone show you to your living quarters that you will be using while you’re here.” Your father clapped his hands in one excited movement before calling over one of the servants. You excused yourself for the rest of the evening because you couldn’t bear having Yoongi’s once gentle eyes glare at you any longer.

The following weeks were torturous as you tried your hardest to hold the same energetic conversation with Yoongi that you had that night of the ball; to no avail, Yoongi only answered you with a cold shoulder and bitter shortness. Having him accompany you to council meetings proved to be the more tedious task as his lack of voluntary participation made it difficult to come to agreements on things.

“Perhaps we should place more soldiers throughout the village. Petty crime has been rising in tremendous numbers lately; food by the barrel has been coming up missing from the warehouses.” One member of the council said sternly, confident that his idea to solve the problem was through the use of authority and fear. “Wouldn’t you agree, Princess Y/N?”

“No, I would not.” Your mouth formed a thin line as you refused to encourage this idea. “Perhaps this is a matter that we could use Prince Yoongi’s opinion on.” You purposefully deflected the attention to the Prince sitting across from you and if looks could kill.

“Well, I-” he cleared his throat before restarting, “it would be unwise if we solved the problem by just giving food to the people who are stealing from the warehouses, as that creates unmotivated subjects. If we place more soldiers in the village, it not only leaves us with hungry villagers, but it will also bring out resentment and fear in them as well.”

“What do you propose we do then?” The council member whose plan was being refuted drowned his words in a mocking tone.

“There must be areas that are lacking in workers, wasn’t it just recently that some of your establishments were destroyed by the wildfire? Hungry men are hard working men, and giving them jobs and tasks to complete will give them a sense of accomplishment, as well as a reason to be rewarded with the payment of food.” The room held its breath as it stared at your father who had a look of deep contemplation upon his face.

“I think that sounds like a reasonable solution. William, start putting the word out around the village that there will be an opportunity for work and food. We cannot afford to have both hungry and resentful subjects.” Your father took Yoongi’s advice quite seriously and began making the preparations to make it a reality.

You could barely hold back your proud smile for the remainder of the meeting. After it was adjourned, you quickly ran after him to praise his logical thinking.

“Yoongi, that was a lovely idea! I hadn’t even thought about using the destroyed buildings as a tool in this issue!” You reached out for his arm, but he shifted to the left to avoid it.

“Perhaps, Princess Y/N,” the word princess was emphasized with anger and it made you wince, “if you had been more worried about your own answer instead of forcing me to give my own, maybe you would have thought of it!” He had raised his voice to you and it wasn’t the matter of disrespecting a royal that troubled you, it was how he was holding that much anger towards what you’ve done to him. Yoongi had swiftly turned on his heel to leave and it didn’t come to your attention that tears had begun rolling down your face until your loud sniffle had caused him to turn around and come right back to you. “Y/N, look I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting and I’m sorry for raising my voice to you, it’s just-” but you cut him off.

“No, Prince Yoongi,” You curtsied deeply as you used the formal title towards him, “I’m the one who should apologize. I’m sorry I was selfish enough to think that my presence could make up for the fact that this is not somewhere you want to be. I will talk to my father as soon as I can so that you may make your preparations to return home.” With that you turned around and walked away with your head held high, feigning an indifferent composure; you didn’t dare to look behind you, not knowing you had a left a trembling prince in the empty corridor.

“Father I don’t think you understand!” You managed to imply the importance of your words without daring to raise your voice to the king.

“That’s enough Y/N. If Prince Yoongi really is as miserable here as you say he is, he has every right and power to tell me that he wishes to return home. You are both adults and can act as such. Do I make myself clear?” Your father had a point, Yoongi can return home whenever he pleases, this is not your battle to fight. The king in front of you raised an eyebrow pointedly as he awaited the answer to his question.

“Of course, father, I will let the prince know.”

Your curtsy was not as deep as it should have been, but it was a curtsy nonetheless, and you were too conflicted to care. You hadn’t seen Yoongi in over a week since you last spoke to him, meaning that you had missed two council meetings in a row. This was not like you in the slightest, and rumor in the castle said that you were either sick or in love, and to be perfectly honest, both rumors sounded pretty logical to you. Apparently, though, Yoongi seemed to be doing a fine job in your place, giving countless words of wisdom. The thought almost made you smile as you started to think about Yoongi growing more accustomed to the role he was born into. Rounding the corner to the west wing, you ran into your handmaid whose face looked as if she had something good to say.

“Monique, please tell me that look on your face means you have good news!” So desperate for a change of mood, the statement almost sounded like a beg.

“Oh, but I do! Prince Jimin is here. He wants to see you, he said he’d be in the gardens waiting.” Monique smiled widely after seeing how excited you were to see your dear friend. Unbeknown to both of you was that Prince Yoongi could be found hiding behind a statue down the hallway, his fists forming into balls at the thought of you being excited to see another man.

You could see Jimin standing in front of the little pond, looking as princely and royal as ever. Quietly, you snuck up behind him and gave his sides a poke, hoping to scare him. He did not move or say anything, and for a moment it was if you were invisible. Suddenly, he turns around in one swift movement and yells at you.

“Jiminie! How dare you use my plots against me!” You scolded him while you clutched your chest, faking a horrendous heart attack.

“You love me.” Jimin’s warm arms engulfed you in a hug, and it seemed like your best friend had the power to melt all your worries away.

“Yeah, sure,” you muttered against his chest, “how are you?”

“The real question is, how are you? I’ve heard you’ve missed two council meetings in a row. What’s going on?” You rolled your eyes at his bluntness and silently cursed Monique because it was no doubt her who had pushed him to be so nosy.

“It’s nothing really, I’ve just had to take time to myself and be reminded of who I am and what I believe.” This earned, not one, but a two eyebrow raise from Jimin.

“And that would be?”

“That other people come before me. I must put the happiness and well-being of those around me before I indulge in my selfish desires.” Jimin stopped dead in his tracks from the short walk you had taken, turning to look at you with annoyance lining his face.

“That is the worst thing I’ve ever heard of, Y/N. You and I both know well how much you deserve whatever it is you want. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes, you’re a princess for crying out loud!” But you just shook your head.

“Not this time, Jiminie, not this time.”

“It’s the foreign prince, isn’t it? The one you ditched me at the ball for? I hear he’s been staying here for a while.” Jimin did not beat around the bush, and your cheeks grew warm as you recounted that wonderful night with Yoongi in the garden. “Ah, it is.”

“I just don’t get it. I only spent a few hours getting to know him that night, and he made me feel more alive than any boring prince I’ve known for years.” Your best friend was silent, which meant he wanted you to continue. “I made a mistake by agreeing to let him stay here, all its done is make him resent me, and all I want to do is shake those stupid broad shoulders and scream ‘you’re literally the best thing that’s walked into my life, please be my king and rule by side,’ or is that crazy?” Your question on your insanity had been lost to Yoongi’s prying ears, who had decided to peak into the garden to see which prince it was that you were seeing. All Yoongi had been able to hear was, unfortunately, the part where you confessed your feelings for the man in front of you. He continued to look on at the interaction unfolding before him, but he was only able to make out a few words here and there.

“What do you think his reply to that would be? Would he reciprocate the feelings,” Jimin proceeds to mockingly hold your hands to his chest, but to Yoongi it seemed like the prince had accepted your confession, “and say, oh Y/N, I love you so much!” To dramatize it even more, Jimin twirled you around and dipped you low getting too close to your face for Yoongi’s comfort. Deciding he’d seen enough, he begins to leave the garden with every step feeling like lead. “You have snot in your nose, Y/N, no wonder he wouldn’t like you back.” You hit Jimin’s arm as hard as you could, and the last thing Yoongi heard in the garden was the sound of your beautiful, heart-wrenching laughter.

Your afternoon in the gardens with Jimin had done well to lift your spirits, but as you sat at your vanity that evening, you couldn’t help but feel your heart squeeze a little more at the thought of Yoongi. Jimin’s dramatic representation of your confession to the prince you had become so quickly infatuated with, left your imagination running wild at the idea of it. A short, yet loud, knock sounded at your door, and you took your time to answer it; your peace and quiet was something that you cherished. When you opened the door, there was no one there, and peering into the hallway it was as if no one ever had been. As you began to shut the door, you noticed an envelope on the ground leaning neatly against the wall outside your door. Skeptically you picked it up and turned it over in your hands, immediately recognizing the wonderful mint color of house Min on the seal. You flew to your desk and the search for a letter opened seemed to be more difficult than it should have been. Once you had been able to tear it open, you opened the letter and began to read it, your breath catching in your throat at the first line.

Dear Y/N Princess Y/N

I am writing this letter to inform you that I will be making my departure home tomorrow morning. Your father had brought it to my attention that you thought it would be best for me to return home, and I am taking that as my hint to do so. I apologize with my entire being for my unwarranted shift in personality, and my cold demeanor towards you after that night in the garden. My behavior towards you has been nothing short of unnecessary and unwarranted. You are royalty in every sense of the word; from your heart to your policies, to your ability to make those overly-frivolous ballgowns look breathtaking. You are the kind of princess that makes people like me feel shamed for carrying the title of prince. I am deeply sorry for letting my insecurities ruin what had been the best encounter I’ve ever had with someone. I hope that you can forgive my harsh words and that you will find it within you to not let my arrogance interfere with political matters between our kingdoms. I suppose I can be thankful that my actions pushed you into the arms of someone who is much more capable and fit to rule by your side, the prince from the garden seems to compliment you well. I wish you only the best.

Sincerely, Yoongi.

Tears had initially begun to fill your eyes as you read the letter, slowly soaking in every word, every stroke of ink. When your eyes skimmed across the last few lines, panic began to set in as you realized that Yoongi saw you this afternoon. Pretending to confess your love to Jimin. Oh no. No. No. You frantically began pulling on a dress that would be deemed appropriate enough to be seen outside your bedroom, and you sprinted down the corridor of the castle without bothering to properly tie up the corset. I’m covered and that’s what matters. Please be where I think you’ll be, please. You sent up a silent prayer as you raced through the castle. It was unusually dark when you entered the garden, the light from the lamps only giving you enough light to see what’s in front of you; you noticed that tonight was the night of a new moon, meaning that Yoongi had been staying with you for a month now. Despite this, you could faintly make out the figure near the pond and you raced towards him as quickly as your legs could carry you. You surprised both Yoongi and yourself as you brazenly threw your arms around his neck and collided into him.

“Princess Y/N, what are you doing here?”

“Oh, don’t play coy with me, Yoongi, what is the meaning of this?” You held the letter towards him and all but shook it in his face.

“It’s exactly what I said it is. A goodbye. I’m leaving in the morning.” Your eyes had begun adjusting to the darkness and you could see the bags under Yoongi’s eyes, stress from the last week had physically taken a toll on him. “You told your father you didn’t want me here.”

“Damn my father and his inability to spread information correctly. No, Yoongi. I told my father I thought it would be best for you to leave because you don’t like it here. How can you think I don’t want you here when my selfish desire for your company is the reason why you hate me!” You huffed.

“I don’t hate you,” Yoongi mumbled, “it’s quite the opposite actually.” His voice trailed off.

“Then why have you been so cold!” You were almost yelling at this point.

“I told you! I’m not worthy to be held to any standard equal to you. Being distant and cold from the beginning hurts less than it would have if I had grown any more attached to you than I already am; I couldn’t stand the thought of you realizing how pathetic I am as a prince.”

“I didn’t realize it troubled you so much. I’m sorry for forcing you into playing the adopted prince,” Yoongi looked like he was going to say something but you stopped him, “but in a sense, I don’t think I am. You told me that night of the ball that your opinions are never heard, and I think that is a shame because I think you have a sound head on your shoulders. Not only that, but you’ve begun to gain confidence in yourself; people are boasting about how willing you have been to participate in the recent council meetings.”

“That doesn’t deem me worthy of much.”

“How hard is it for you to realize that if I didn’t think you were worthy, I would have ignored you like I have with every other prince on the continent?”

“But,” Yoongi’s lips formed a thin line of frustration, “the prince. In the garden. I heard you confess your love to him.” You flicked Yoongi’s arm, and he yelped at the sting. “You’re a madwoman! What was that for?”

“That was for eavesdropping, and this,” you closed the distance between the two of you and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, “is for making the wrong assumptions of a princess.” As much as you wished you could let yourself drown in his kiss, a point needed to be made. “He’s my best friend, Yoongi, we’ve known each other since birth, and he’s completely in love with my cousin, Minah.” The blush on Yoongi’s face grew even deeper as he turned away in embarrassment.

“This is awkward now, I’m sorry. I should’ve been more honest and not made assumptions.”

“You’re human, Yoongi, it happens.” Yoongi pulled you into his arms, and the two of you stood there silent as you both relished in the moment. The wall between you had finally been torn down, and perhaps something could be made now.

“Can we start over so that I can properly earn your favor and the chance to court you?” His question came with a shy smile after you parted from the embrace. The smile grew into a wide gummy one, as you nodded your head eagerly at his suggestion. The two of you bowed and curtsied, much more gracefully this time arrived. “May I have this dance, Princess Y/N?”

“Of course,” you nodded, “for the moment, I am no princess. I am Y/N, you are Yoongi.” Once again, he led you in a harmonious waltz as the two of you danced to the sound of birds, the wind, and your beating hearts. “And we are happy again. So please, skip the formalities.”

#bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts one shot #Yoongi fanfic #BTS au #jimin fanfic #yoongi one shot #yoongi au

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