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#my legs feel like they’ve shattered for some reason
greetings-inferiors · 8 months
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Girl help I’m having a breakdown over food court chicken
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alycosworld · 3 years
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Tainted
Scaramouche X Reader
WARNING: mentions of (nearly) sexual assault
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A/N: I seem to have more angst/comfort ideas for genshin but I'm not sure why...also, I'm on holiday in a foreign country! I have no work and I'll probably spend all my nights on Tumblr after exploring the city in the day, so please please please send in some requests! I'm bored and although they might take some time, they might help me get back into writing more regularly. I'm pretty sure this is gender neutral but if I made a mistake, feel free to tell me. This has NOT been checked for any errors (I'll get around to it at some point).
I'm not sure if Scaramouche is ooc, since he doesn't say anything that nice in the game or in any official works, but I definitely think he has the capacity for it. And I like soft Scar <3.
If at any point you feel uncomfortable, PLEASE DO NOT READ ON. I felt a little icky after writing the assault bit so do not force yourself to read any further or read at all. I do not want to make anyone reading this unhappy. Any victims of sexual assault or harassment, I hope you heal
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Keep walking. Just keep walking. Get home as fast as possible.
Avoid dark spots, avoid all people, avoid secluded areas. Just get home now.
That's what you told yourself after it happened. Archons, you didn't even know how you should feel. Ashamed? Angry? Disgusted? Upset? Confused? Afraid? The amalgamation of these emotions just made everything worse. You felt sick to your stomach. You wanted to cry and scream and vomit and disappear all at the same time.
You felt like you were covered in grime and you don't even know how you managed to get away. You should've done something, anything! But in the moment, you couldn't.
Your day had started normally. You went to the Adventurer's Guild in Inazuma, doing your commissions and taking up a few extra quests to help people out. Even though you were walking home later than normal, you didn't think much of it. Until somehow, you lost your way. In the dark, things became a little more vague and confusing, so you ended up taking a left and ending up in a dark alleyway between two dimly lit buildings.
You walked through, lost in your own thoughts, until you heard some chuckling and some incoherent remarks made by someone exiting one of the buildings out a back door and into the alleyway.
Glancing up, you saw that the person was a man - quite tall and well built with flushed cheeks: he was clearly not sober. You paid him no mind, staring at the ground as you continue to walk, determined to get home to see your boyfriend, Scaramouche. Though he wasn't one to worry, knowing that you could handle yourself, you did want to see him as soon as possible.
"Well, what do we have here?" The man asked, and you looked up at him again, tilting your head in confusion but staying silent.
"What's a pretty thing like you doing out here all alone?" He asked, a suspicious smirk on his face.
"I'm going home." You said firmly, not wanting to give him any ideas.
"Oh? A handsome young thing like you, going home all by themselves? Let me walk you, I promise I don't bite." He continued, clearly not getting the hint.
"I'm alright, but thank you for the off--"
"Stop being such a fucking tease! Wearing an outfit like that, you're begging for it." He pinned you against the wall despite your attempt to politely refuse any moves he tried to make. He caught your arms above your head and harshly shoved one of his legs between yours.
"Don't like to me, hon, you know you want this." He whispered huskily. You had fought countless hilichurls, abyss mages and monsters far more intimidating and dangerous than that man that day, but you couldn't seem to move. All you could manage was a fearful 'please, don't do this'. Struggling was futile, for some reason you couldn't escape his grasp. You had fought beasts ten times this man's size but violating you like this? It made you break.
He gripped you harshly and even managed to kiss your neck a couple times, making the tears stream down your face uncontrollably, until he heard some voices. You recognised them immediately: members of the Adventurer's Guild. He must be known it too because he stopped as soon as he heard, offering you a sickening grin and scuttling away before you could react.
"We'll finish this some other time, sweetheart. I promise."
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You didn't get any help from the Adventurer's Guild members who you heard, instead opting to rush home as soon as possible, trying to figure out what to do next.
The only solution in your mind was to crawl into your lover's arms and tell him what had happened. You didn't want anyone else to know - you know you could trust Scaramouche and you knew he would help you.
But he didn't.
You got home and wiped your tears before entering the house, hoping to look somewhat presentable despite having experienced such an impactful event. You dropped your belongings carelessly, not flinging at the loud sound they made as they hit the floor. You immediately made your way to the guest room Scaramouche had turned into an office of sorts, for him to work on Fatui business. The bedroom door was open and empty and he was nowhere to be found on the first floor, so that was the only other place he could've been. You were relieved to see him sitting at the desk, deep in thought with some maps and other sheets of paper laid out in front of him.
"Scar, I--"
"Not now, (Y/N), I'm busy." He said hot even bothering to look up at your frazzled and shattered state.
"I know but, please, Scar. While I was--"
"If you know that I'm busy, why enter in the first place? I'm working. Leave me alone." He said harshly. You didn't say anything, instead opting to nod silently and close the door. Since this was the first time you had experienced this pain and discomfort from being touched and defiled in such a way, you decided that maybe you should put it aside. After all, maybe it was something so jarring. Maybe it didn't matter. Maybe Scaramouche's nonchalance was justified. In a twisted way, you blamed yourself for overreacting and decided to just forget about the incident. If it didn't mean enough for Scaramouche to even look at you, it clearly wasn't something worth fretting over. You were just exaggerating, right?
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You tried you absolute hardest not to let the incident bother you, but you unknowingly started changing your habits to prevent what had occurred from happening to you again.
"Wearing an outfit like that, you're begging for it..."
You started wearing less revealing clothing, going as far as wearing gloves at some point and covering your neck with collars and scarves through the hot weather.
"We'll finish this some other time, sweetheart. I promise."
Initially, you just avoided dark or secluded places, even when you were with other people, but eventually, you were too scared to leave home at all. You didn't leave the confines of your small garden and if someone passed by, you would quickly hide yourself away. When Scaramouche had unknown guests and colleagues over, you would hide in your bedroom and make him promise not to mention you or acknowledge your existence in the slightest.
You even started taking longer showers and refused to bathe with Scaramouche, confusing him since you used to enjoy it so much. But you wouldn't let him see you in such a vulnerable state now that you were contaminated. You didn't want him to know that you had been tarnished in such a vulgar way, and you spent long moments scrubbing at the parts the stranger had touched. You were worried that Scaramouche would blame you for being assaulted - because in a sick way you thought it was your fault, despite having been nothing wrong. You had twisted the story in your mind to make it seem like you were responsible for the crime committed against you.
Eventually, Childe had to visit for business purposes, but you had become good friends with the eleventh Fatui Harbinger since he was friends with-- well, he and Scaramouche had a relationship, to say the least.
"So where's (Y/N)? Normally they're all over you and making you as embarrassed at possible." Childs grinned, and Scaramouche just frowned and narrowed his eyes.
"They're in our room. They don't really want to see anyone right now." Scaramouche said. Even though you told him not to mention you anymore, since you were so hellbent on avoiding all human interaction, he thought it would be okay to tell Childe. He was your friend too, after all.
"Is something wrong? What happened?" Childe asked, concern in his eyes.
"I don't know. They've been avoiding everyone, including me. They barely talk to me and insist on sleeping downstairs." Scaramouche confessed.
"Let me talk to them."
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Childe exited your room after hearing what to had to say, and he was disturbed and sympathetic, at the very least. Scaramouche saw his wide-eyed, grim expression when he exited the room and immediately had questions.
"What?" Scaramouche asked.
"I'll come back tomorrow to continue our work." Childs said, referring to the business he originally came for.
"But we have to--"
"Scar?" Scaramouche stopped all his trains of thought and turned to the sound of your voice. It was hoarse but still as beautiful as ever. He knew you had been crying from your puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks.
"I think you have other matters to take care of." Childe winked, before giving Scaramouche an informal two-fingered salute and showing himself out.
As soon as the door closed, Scaramouche turned his attention to you, not coming too close in case you didn't want to be near him.
"Yes, Love?" He asked, more concerned than you had ever seen him.
"Can I talk to you? If you're busy, that's okay, it's not that impor--"
"I'm not busy." He shook his head, and you offered him a sad and grateful smile before sitting on the edge of the bed while he took a seat on a nearby chair.
"So, uhm, a couple of days ago I was walking home and I kind of got lost...so I tried taking this alleyway and--" You stopped yourself, meeting Scaramouche's attentive gaze before continuing.
"There was a guy. And he-- he t-touched me. I-- I didn't know what to do. I could've easily fought back but I just got scared and froze up because that's never happened to me before and he kept saying that I wanted him-- but I didn't! I swear, I didn't. I know it sounds bad since I didn't stop him but I really tried, I just couldn't. And he started k-kissing me...here," You gestured to the spots on your neck that you could still feel being violated.
"And I felt so horrible and he didn't go any further because some people were coming, so I ran home. I-I...I didn't know what to do but I felt like I should tell you because I thought you would help me, but you said you were busy so I just-- It-tried to brush it off but I just couldn't get it out of my head! And before I got away, he told me that he'd come back and finish me off and so I didn't want to go outside anymore in case I ran into him. And I started to cover up since he said I was asking for it because of what I was wearing and then I just got scared and I felt dirty. I tried so hard to forget and clean myself but it kept coming back-- I can still feel him on me! I hated it, I still hated it! You have to believe me, I wasn't trying to get him to notice me, I just..." You broke down after finishing what you had to say. You had already been crying since you told Childe, but now you were choking out sobs and your face was drenched. Scaramouche stood up from his chair and sat next to you on the bed, a safe distance away just in case you still weren't comfortable with being touched.
"I believe you. I know you're not like that." Scarsmocuhe started calmly. In all honesty, he wanted to interrupt you as soon as you said that this man approached you. His blood was boiling and he was ready to murder this man for you but kept himself in check because you didn't need senseless violence or revenge right now, you needed comfort. What hurt him the most was that you were blaming yourself because he didn't bother listening to what you had to say on what was probably the worst day of your life.
"It's not your fault you were touched like that. You are not to blame, at all. I-- I should've listened to you when you came to me - as soon as I turned you say I thought something was wrong but I didn't bother asking about it. That's entirely my fault." He admitted, which surprised you. It took Scaramouche a lot to admit his mistakes, but for you? He didn't care. You constantly put up with his sour attitude, he can definitely listen to you and admit he was wrong.
"You sure? Because I still--"
"I'm sure." He said simply.
"But why did you start avoiding me?" He asked, wanting to understand the situation entirely.
"Well, because..." You started, unsure if he would get angry if you told him. While you were contemplating, he offered you an encouraging expression. It wasn't a smile, but it was more than enough to put you at ease.
"I didn't want you to think I was tainted. Of course, you wouldn't want to be near me after that had happened." You sighed, wiping up the last of your tears.
"You really are an idiot, you know?" He said, but after seeing the clueless and almost hurt look on your face, he immediately wanted to take it back. He didn't mean to be insensitive, he just...well, he often explained positive emotions with his very wide negative vocabulary.
"No, I didn't-- uhm..." He mentally cursed himself for not knowing what to say, but you didn't interrupt him and made a small gesture for him to keep going.
"What I mean to say was, I don't think that you're tainted or anything like that. And I still...want to be...near you-- eugh!" He pretended to be grossed out at his own words in true Scaramouche fashion, but he knew you knew he didn't really mean it and was beyond delighted when he saw you giggle at his facial expression.
He sighed and acted angry as he opened his arms ever so slightly. You noticed the movement and quirked an eyebrow when he hesitated.
"Is it okay if I come closer?" Scaramouche asked, unsure if you wanted to be touched after the incident.
Your heart swelled at his care and then you slowly watched as he stiffly wrapped his arms around you comfortingly. Although you had hugged and cuddled on countless occasions, he still wouldn't stop being so robotic unless you did something. It made you laugh and he pulled away slightly to glare at you, so you decided to just pull him back in and hug back.
And when you relished in the touch of another human being, the touch of the person you love, you began to cry. The last time anyone willingly touched you was in that alleyway, and so to have someone be so gentle with you and have no bad intentions, you were overwhelmed with emotion.
Scaramouche must've felt your tears staining his clothing and skin, and quickly pulled away with poorly hidden concern in his eyes.
"Are you okay?" He asked, but you just continued to sob and nod.
"I love you!" You choked out. He sighed and gently patted your back.
"I...love you too." He said, before making another expression of mock disgust. He slowly moved to hold both your wrists in his hand and kiss down to your neck, pulling you into his lap with your legs straddling one of his.
You soon realised that he was covering up the placed the stranger had touched you with his own ministrations, effectively replacing the grime you felt you gained after the incident. After you came to that conclusion and Scaramouche was done, he didn't meet your eye, blushing profusely. It was justified since he didn't usually initiate any kind of affection acts, but you just cupped his jaw and kissed his cheek, smiiling at him with purity and a newfound confidence in the both of you.
"Thank you, Scar."
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lubdubsworld · 3 years
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Perfect Imperfections.
Jeon Jungkook x OC 
Genre : Arranged Marriage AU! Angst! Explicit Sexual Content. 
Rating : 21+ 
Warnings : Ableism , Chronic disability. OC has limited use of her left leg, Emotional infidelity? Mild Cheating ( nothing very physical.. a kiss or so ) 
Summary : Marrying Jungkook is a mistake. Falling in love with him? Definitely the worst exercise in masochism . 
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[ This is nothing but me indulging my love for writing bad cliches. That is it. Its literally a fest of cliche k drama tropes] 
Chapter 1
After the accident, my life had become something of a stagnant pond. 
Everyday began much the same. 
The alarm, mild but not jarring. Not very shrill but definitely insistent, sweeping away any lingering traces of sleep. I blinked awake, cobwebs of exhaustion still marring my vision but a few deep breaths, a few more blinks and I was awake .
And now came the harder part.
Getting my legs to work. 
It never got better, despite the many years that I’d spent in physiotherapy. All it really did was stop it from getting worse. Or maybe I’d just gotten used to the pain at this point. 
Deep breaths helped. Sometimes. 
But not today. 
“Mrs Jeon?” The familiar voice made me jump a little. 
“Sana...” I said, relieved. “ Could you come over? Seems like I’m going to need some help today.” I laughed nervously, gripping the sheets harder.” Could you help me sit up?” 
The girl moved closer, feet nimble and quick and sure and i felt my throat clench in envy. I swallowed it down though, just the way I swallowed every bad thing that came my way. 
It had been eight years ago.
 A fall from a fifty feet ravine. Cuts and scrapes all over my body, abrasions all over my torso. And legs that had absolutely shattered on impact. Multiple fractures. Motor Nerve Damage on my left leg. 
The skin stitched together. The bones grew back. 
But the nerve damage stayed. 
I wasn’t completely helpless. I could walk with the brace. Slowly and with a mildly awkward gait but I could walk. Even better if I was using crutches. 
But it wasn’t something I could hide. 
People looked at me and that was the first thing that they noticed. 
The girl who couldn’t walk. 
I sat still, gripping the edge of the bed as Sana carefully grabbed the brace and helped me put it on. I watched as she carefully set the loops in place, fixed the velcro and finally helped set my toes in place. 
“Thank you.” i whispered and she nodded.
“Mr. Jeon left early. He said that he won’t be home tonight.” 
I smiled a little. 
“I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to be caught between us. It must make you feel uncomfortable.” I said . 
She looked surprised but quickly ducked her head
“No, Mrs. Jeon.” 
I sighed.
“You may leave. I’ll come down soon.” I said quietly. 
How handsome he looked, in that beautiful dark suit. How strong and handsome and ...whole. 
Right next to a framed article about us from a magazine.
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Jungkook ran  marathons and trained as a boxer. He worked as the managing director at a steel manufacturing unit . Spent his days overseeing workers in the smelting units, and everyone knew that it wasn’t uncommon to see the Jeon heir, shirtless and sweaty and covered in dirt and getting down and dirty with all the other workers as the ore got delivered. 
Someone like that... Someone that perfect.... Deserved a woman who would be an equal. Beautiful and graceful and perfect. And he had had her. My sister. For three years, I’d watched my sister and Jungkook be the perfect couple . Deeply in love and so happy. 
I watched her leave, gently closing the door behind her, before shifting my gaze to the large  portrait on the opposite side of the wall. It was a picture of my husband and I taken on the day we got betrothed. 
What they hadn’t counted on was how greedy our parents could be. 
Jungkook was the younger son. And his father had long written him off as unreliable. He was wild and headstrong. Had his own ideals and morals. Wouldn’t really bend to his father’s will. So his brother was the one who would be set to inherit the company. 
And my father , with his billion dollar empire wasn’t going to give away his precious daughter and all of her inheritance to a paltry second son. 
Jungkook’s brother had married my sister. And Jungkook had been forced to marry me. A comedy of errors , except it wasn’t really funny and no one was laughing. 
I swallowed. That was seven months ago. The first few weeks had gone in stony silence and hushed whispers. I knew he was talking to my sister. Knew she was sobbing in despair on the other end. My sister and I had never gotten along. And now, she had a genuine reason to despise me. 
Three months into marriage he had a small accident at the Manufacturing Unit.A small fall, not that far. Ten feet or so, but he’d crashed into a steel structure on his way down. He had a dislocated shoulder and some flesh wounds. Not that bad. 
But my entire body had gone ice cold at the news, when i first heard it. 
It was a brutal sort of realization. 
That perhaps I wasn’t as indifferent to him as he was to me. Six weeks, with him had changed things. He didn’t talk much, other than the bare minimum but I didn’t hold it against him. I helped him anyway I could. Typed out emails for him. Helped him eat and change. 
Hands brushing and time spent together meant tension. And a shift in the way he looked at me, sometimes. I noticed, wasn’t sure if I could act on it. But he was still my husband. And I didn’t really want to spend the rest of my life celibate. 
So, even though it was so unlike me... I’d made the first move. Linked my fingers with his. Brushed my lips across his. A gesture that meant a hundred things. A touch that invited more. And he must’ve wanted it, at least physically. Because he indulged me. Gave me a glimpse of heaven on his bed. 
And yet, six weeks of being as close as two humans could be didn’t change much.  
We were strangers who slept together. Who appeared in public together. Who did everything our family expected of us. And I wasn’t sure how to bridge that awkward gap between us. Jungkook was a fiercely physical person. His free time was spent in the gym , or cycling or hiking. 
I couldn’t walk across the room without having to grip the walls for support every few minutes.                                                              
Could anyone blame him for being bitter? For being distant? For not knowing what to do with me? 
And in all this time , I’d only learnt a handful of things about my husband. How he felt on top of me. How he sounded when he came, how he looked eyebrows furrowed as he talked into his phone  and of course, how little he cared about me. 
Yes, we would have sex. Yes, he bought me a couple of gifts when he was overseas. But otherwise his heart belonged to my sister. It wasn’t something he hid. 
As the days passed, I realized that it was time to keep myself safe. That I couldn’t show him all of me anymore. He was careful with me, guarded and secretive because he was smart. He didn’t want me to know anything about him. 
There was a reason. There had to be. 
So the best thing to do would be to do the same. Build that distance between us. This was going to crash and burn someday and I had to 
And the past few weeks, he’d been busy with more deals. Some kind of MoU with some supplier had gone south and they were looking for different suppliers. Jungkook was busy. I hadn’t seen him in ten days. 
And now apparently he had come home and left without so much as seeing me. 
Sighing, I moved to the garden, walking slowly to the marble bench set under the large sweetgum tree. I settled down , sighing. I ran a palm over my belly, soft and hesitant. 
I was two and half months along. It didn’t show...thanks to the oversized clothes I wore. But it wasn’t the kind of thing you could hide forever. I wasn’t sure why I started hiding it in the first place. It was just that.... I knew that no one would be happy for me. My family would be ecstatic but for the wrong reasons.
I could already imagine .
 Finally. Now he can’t leave you. 
I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of it. At the thought of someone talking about my baby like some sort of handcuff to lock Jungkook in. 
I would have to tell him. Of course. But I didn’t know when or how . I didn’t want to hide it from him. There was no point. But ... I wasn’t quite sure i wanted to see that look of helpless disappointment in his face. 
The sound of his car drew me out of my reverie and I startled, glancing over at the wide driveway. I glanced at the time . It was a little past eleven in the morning. What was he doing here? 
“Leah! Get inside!” Jungkook’s voice rang out and I jumped. 
“Jungkook?” I stared as he all but jumped out of the car rushing to me. 
“Come on.. get up.”
“What’s going on..?” I asked, heart pounding as he gripped my elbow, drawing me into his arms. 
“Dad fucked up. Got mixed with some shady bastards and apparently, they’ve put a hit out on me and hyung.”
My heart dropped.
“What?!!” I choked out, stunned. “ Jungkook...” My fingers curled over his chest, clutching the 
“Don’t worry... we know who it is and we have guys of our own. They’ll take care of it. No one comes for a Jeon and lives to tell the tale. I just wanted to make sure you stayed in. Don’t go anywhere. there are guards all over the place. but i want you to stay home. Okay? Just till this blows over?” 
I flinched, legs aching fierce as he led me up the stairs and he stared at me, eyes dripping with worry. The look was so foreign....so unlike the indifference I was used to that I could only stare. 
“Are you alright?” He asked urgently and I nodded quickly, hands curving over my stomach instinctively. 
“You’ll stay here right? With me...?” I asked softly and Jungkook hesitated. 
“I... I need to go check on Lisa.” He said stiltedly and I froze at my sister’s name.
“She’s with her husband, right?” I asked sharply, anger building out of pure fear. “ Why do you-”
“Don’t question me. Go in. Now.” He said quickly and I frowned. 
“You don’t have to go there. She has a husband of her own.” I said quietly, voice shaking. 
“I have to. I... I have to just go make sure she’s alright.” He snapped angrily and I curled my fingers into fists. 
Apparently, even when there was a very real threat to our lives, he would rather risk my life and his than let go of his obsession for my sister. i wanted to vomit. My skin felt clammy and my heart raced. I imagined him doing this when we had a kid....risking our child because he can’t stop thinking of her.... And he would do it..... Of course he would. 
“Then go.” i snapped, tears filling my eyes .  I yanked my arm out of his, stumbling a bit.
Jungkook looked shocked. 
“Leah...” He reached for me but I pulled back and away. 
“Go to her and don’t you dare come back here.” I screamed. Jungkook stiffened. 
“Leah... enough.”
“You’re right. I’ve had enough . Of your dirty pining. Of you. She’s married for god’s sake. To your brother. They’re together. Its over and done with. Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!!” I choked out. My chest hurt. 
“You knew I loved her when you married me.” He snapped back and I laughed in disbelief.
“Yes. And you knew I’d break someday. That I’d someday have enough of you treating me like I was disposable. Isn’t that why you kept at it for so long? You wanted me to be the one break things off right? So you could get out of your father’s anger...unscathed. Well, guess what. You got your wish.... I’m done!! “ 
He didn’t reply.
“Go inside. I have to go.” He said softly. 
I watched as he turned on his heel and stalked back down the driveway. 
Was it supposed to hurt this bad? My heart felt a bit like it was cleaving in two. Had I really just told him I had enough? What did that mean? Was I going to leave him? I felt my head spin , worry and fear laced with disbelief.
 Someone was out to kill him? How could he be so flippant about it? 
I shook my head. The Jeon’s were  a weird bunch. Although they were one of the richest families in our society, they lacked any of the charming social graces that came with it. For years, everyone had kept them at arm’s length because while all other families had aristocratic roots and beginnings, the Jeon’s came from a background of mining iron ore and making steel : a rugged and dirty business.
The only reason my father had agreed to 
And was I really going to leave him? where did I even begin? I couldn’t leave. I had no home to go to. My parents would take one look at me and send me back to Jungkook. I felt like a prize fool. I was stuck here. For eternity. That was all there was to it. 
A decade ago, I’d had a future. But that evening on that mountain trail had changed my life forever. I was , for all intents and purposes disabled. I couldn’t just walk out of here and build a life for myself. I wouldn’t last a day. 
I dragged myself to the living space, stopping when i saw how deserted the place looked. 
There were usually people bustling about. Especially so close to lunch. 
“Sana!!!” I called out, only to be met with the echoing silence of my own voice. And then a few seconds later she appeared , 
“Mrs. Jeon.... Is Mr. Jeon here?”
“He just left... Is everything okay?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Where is everyone? Are all of you busy?” I asked nervously. 
She bowed. “ Yes, ma’am.... The rest of us are cleaning out the pantry and Cook’s in the kitchen. Seul and Leejin are out in the backyard cleaning the statues near the koi pond. Mr. Jeon’s asked all the footmen and guards to stay around the perimeter. Will you need anything else?
“No... I’ll just rest till lunch.” I said gently, waving her off.
She left. 
The eerie silence that followed told me there was nothing to do but embrace the loneliness and I hesitated, moving slowly to the window and peering out. I couldn’t see any of the guards either. 
My fingers shook a little as I moved slowly to the entryway that led into the dining space. It was dark in here, the light from outside only illuminating the west wall which had large windows set in. I moved to the windows and stared out into the Jeon estate. 
Although Jungkook was the younger brother, he had been taxed with maintaining and caring for the family estate. Not because his father trusted him but because the old man knew just how much Jungkook hated the place. 
I played with my wedding ring as i remembered the countless times I’d watched the two of them fight, Jungkook coldly still while his father hurled abuses at him. Jeon Jaesook considered his son to be incompetent and disobedient, which made little to no sense to me. 
As far as i knew Jungkook had helped increase production and had cut down operating costs significantly over the seven years that he’d been working as the managing Director at Jeon Steelworks.
But it was obvious the old man favored Jihyun, Jungkook’s older brother. Jihyun worked in the air conditioned offices located in Gangnam, the CEO taking care of all their sales and marketing while Jungkook , who had an actual degree in Business spent his days slaving away at the smelting Units, a job that was physically and mentally exhausting. 
And while it always made my stomach twist, this unfair treatment he got subjected to, there wasn’t much i could do. My father had made it clear that he wouldn’t agree to the investment, unless both his daughters married the Jeon brothers. And Jungkook’s father had made it clear that if Jungkook didn’t agree , he would be out on the streets without a penny to his name. 
My leg began aching and I turned back around ready to go settle into my workroom where I usually worked on my writing when I heard his footsteps. I glanced up, frowning. 
Jungkook stood in the doorway staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face. 
I stared at him for a few seconds, waiting for him to say something. 
When he didn’t, I sighed.
“Did you think I was going to leave?” I asked bitterly.
He sighed. 
“I’m not going to cheat on you. “
I nodded.
“I suppose you want me to thank you for that?” I shook my head. “ You don’t have to keep your worthless vows. Go sleep with her. Why would it make a difference to me?” 
He exhaled sharply. 
“I thought you understood.” He said sharply.
“I did. I do.” I said curtly “ I understand that my parents screwed the two of you over. I understand that you had to do something you absolutely did not want to. But there’s something you need to understand too. Just because I’ve accepted this, it doesn’t mean I enjoy it. It doesn’t mean I have to be happy about my husband being in love with another woman, much less my own sister.” 
Jungkook nodded. 
“Right. Got it. “ He said curtly and I flinched when another muscle twitch told me I’d been standing for too long. 
“I’m going to go lay down.”
“Do you need me to get you a heating pad? For the leg? Or send one of the girls to massage your legs?” He asked softly, stepping closer and lightly gripping my elbow when my knees buckled. 
I didn’t have much choice than to grip his forearm, because the pain was intensifying from pins and needles to proper muscle spasms. Sweat began to bead on my upper lip and i felt just a little faint. 
“Yes. “ I said , feeling pathetic. I should have used the crutches. It had been a bad day even when I woke up. I should have sensed it and taken the proper measures.
“Leah... Should I run a warm bath for you? “ Jungkook's lips brushed my ear when he leaned to hold my weight up and i stiffened. 
“That won’t be necessary. I just need help back up to the bed, thank you.” I said shortly. He looked uncertain and shook his head. 
“ okay, but I’ll get Sana to run you a warm bath and make you some willowbark Tea.” He said quietly, and when I stumbled a bit on the first step he swore. 
“This isn’t going to work.... Come here.” He said gruffly and before I could protest he bent low, gripping the back of my knees and pulling me up into his arms.
i swallowed, head spinning as I cradled the curve of my lower belly. 
 Tell him... Tell him... Tell him...
 I felt my head throb as I kept my arms wrapped tight around his shoulders. 
“I’m pregnant .” i blurted out. 
Jungkook stumbled , nearly sending the both of us tumbling down the flight of stairs and i clung to him in terror. Okay, maybe the timing could have been better.
“What?” He looked ashen. Like he’d seen an actual ghost. 
“Just thought you should know.” I muttered under my breath. 
We reached the landing and he didn’t say anything, looking away from me, his jaw taut and lips set in a  thin line. I felt my throat go sandpaper dry. He waited till we were safely in the confines of our bedroom, placing me down on the bed gently and moving to close the door and lock it. 
I stared up at the ceiling, refusing to look at his face. 
“ Leah-”
“Its fine. You don’t have to say anything. I didn’t know till a week ago myself.” 
Silence. 
“Have you told your parents?” 
I exhaled sharply.
“No.” 
“Mine?”
“No...”
“Then would you consider.... “ He trailed off and i finally stared at him. 
“No.” I said softly. 
He sighed. 
“Alright. Should  I book an appointment with Dr. Lee?” 
I laughed. 
“How very practical of you..” i said. 
“What else do you expect from me..”
“Not even an ounce of support, that’s for sure.” I snapped and he growled.
“You want me to lie? Fine.. I’m happy!! So fucking happy that we’re bringing an innocent kid into our fucked up family. ” He shouted.
 This was why I didn’t want to tell him, I thought bitterly. 
“You’re the only one who’s fucked up, Jungkook. I’m perfectly fine with myself and my choices. I can give my baby all the stability they might ever need.”
“ That’s not hat I'm talking about. do you know what its like to grow up with parents who can’t stand each other?” Jungkook shouted. 
I gaped at him. Can’t stand each other? Is that how he saw us? 
“As long as you don’t walk out on us, we’ll be fine.” I muttered despondently. 
“ Don’t worry about that. I’m not going to run away from my responsibilities. ” He said quietly.
I finally turned to look at him, placing both my hands on my stomach.
“Do you want me to leave you?” I asked honestly.” Have you ever thought about it?” 
He didn’t say anything.
“So you have.” I smiled sadly. It wasn’t surprising but it did hurt. 
“Of course I have. You’re Lisa’s sister and Lisa is my... “ He paused, shaking his head, “ But, I know you can’t. I don’t expect you to either.” He said gruffly, grabbing the intercom.
I watched as he called the housekeeper, firing off instruction for Sana and then to the cook to send some tea for me. He hung up and turned to me again.
“Lisa and I are going to go to Japan for a week. She has a conference there and I’m going to scout for locations just in case we open up a distribution office there.” 
I turned away. 
“ You don’t have to tell me all that. You didn’t before, i don’t want you to start now.” I said firmly. 
He didn’t reply and i turned back to stare at the ceiling. 
Jungkook hovered for a few seconds before moving closer to the bed and grabbing the comforter and a couple of pillows. I felt a lump in my throat as he carefully picked my leg up, placing the pillows underneath. i was almost numb from the thigh down. 
i closed my eyes as he carefully pulled the comforter over my waist, folding it over my chest. 
“Rest well.” He said quietly before walking away. i heard the door opening and then closing. 
i waited till I heard his footsteps fades away before opening my eyes and staring at the ceiling. 
I should probably put some paintings up there, I thought. 
Author’s Note : This entire fic can be summed up as me not having any self control. 
397 notes · View notes
chanfictions · 3 years
Note
Here’s an idea: Reader and yandere Itachi have an argument or something of that sort one day and reader says hurtful things. Usually when it’s night and time to sleep, reader and Itachi sleep together but now that they’ve fought and had an argument, reader is on the couch and she feels sad about what happened and doubts whether Itachi loves her anymore and starts crying. I hope this wasn’t too complicated
Ahh, yandere Itachi. Not someone I'd want to get into an argument with. I had some fun getting creative with this one. I may have gone a little off course, but that's where my thumbs kept taking me.
Hell
Itachi x Reader
Warnings: angst, dark, yandere themes
.5k
I'm sorry.
That's all you wanted to say to the keeper of your soul, but he left you alone to steep in your misery after a rather one-sided screaming match tore a rift between you that you feared could never be closed. The words tangled up in your throat as your fingers nested into your hair and bitter tears ripped ugly lines down your cheeks while you crumpled over your legs on the couch and sat alone in the gut-wrenching silence. Your shoulders shook in an effort to stifle the wracking sobs you struggled to swallow as you slowly came to realize there was no taking any of it back. There would be no do-overs, no second chances, no clever jutsu to rewrite your wrongs.
Only consequences.
"What was I thinking?" You whispered mournfully to the aching, black abyss yawning open in your chest as every last spiteful insult you spat played on repeat in your head. It was so vivid. So real. So mortifying. The crackling accusations delivered in your voice rang your head like broken church bells crying out of tune. All of your complaints and grievances suddenly seemed so insignificant when crushed beneath the weight of your mounting regrets.
The screaming chaos clouding your thoughts suffocated reason as the world around you shattered like panes of glass. You had fallen into a hell of your own making, and the eyes in the dark were guiding your descent. The crimson desert in which you landed stretched on in seamless waves for what had to be an eternity. Remorseless red sands rained from the sky like fallout ash. For miles, the sisters of your past self chanted the damning hymns that lit your infinite funeral pyres before laying down in the flames themselves in one last sacrificial offering to the gods.
You're delusional. A monster. I will never fucking love you.
The starving ravens circled above your countless tombs and picked apart your steaming bones, crimson eyes locked on yours in silent condemnation.
You did this to yourself.
"Itachi," you rasped to the bloody sun beating down from its perch in the sky as you fell to your knees in the sizzling dust. Your tears scorched the earth they landed upon in a stream of desperate prayers, scarring the land with the evidence of your aching remorse. "Please–"
But there was no hand of God to deliver you from this hell of your own making – there was only the demon in the dust who would forever imprison your soul in a wasteland of endless suffering. You would die a thousand deaths upon the coals of your fallen sisters, singing your mournful knells like the echoes of yourself once did before the raging sun would set and the chill of the moon brought your broken corpses any relief.
The world around you shifted again on the tail of changing winds – mangled shards of broken glass slowly fused back together to mend the cracks in reality through which you had fallen. You turned your face into the warmth against which you laid as a hand cradled the back of your head to contain the shuddering sounds of your broken sobbing. A gentle breeze blew across the burning dampness that cut painful lines across your cheeks with a soft, soothing hum.
"Shh… it's alright now."
"I'm so sorry," you whispered desperately to the dark.
"I know you are, my love," the darkness whispered back.
135 notes · View notes
frenchrebelfries · 3 years
Text
Always
Tumblr media
All it takes is one glance
You and Natalia have been together for years even before you both have been forced to join the Red room, you both were childhood best friends and did everything to survive that hell hole that the both of you were thrown into.
“Will you stay by my side until I fall asleep Y/N?” a small voice if Natalia filled your ears, you just smiled at her
“Always Natalia”
You both grew up together learning to kill people breaking your body with training and shattering your innocent minds but you had each other.
She was your hope, your light in the dark so you had to be strong for her.
Natalia was crying in your arms after a test was conducted each and every one of you had to kill some targets with their family to test our emphathy, Natasha have a soft heart and being force to kill made her hate herself but you were there for here shielding her with thoughts that would break her.
“I killed them Y/N, their child was-… she was to young” she cried as you comforted her rubbing her back with your hands
“It’s not your fault Natalia, you had to do it” you reasoned her as she continued to cry
“will you stay with me even I became a monster Y/N?” she sniffled as her forest green piercing eyes connected to yours, you just smiled at her
“Always Iyubov’ always” you assured her wiping her tears and kissing her forehead.
.
.
.
You and Natalia or Natasha a name she wanted to be called now were together just before both of you graduated from the Red room and was one of the best assassins of the organization, they knew about you and Natasha’s relationship after you both graduated but never interfere as both of you did your jobs splendidly taking their attention away from your relationship not wanting one of you killed as it would take years before someone can be good as you both to be replaced, she had you when she was sent to her first mission until you adjusted in the circumstance you were in and accepted it as it give you both a bit of freedom to be together and sometimes do things you wanted as long as you do your missions right, but all of that change when Natasha got an offer to join SHEILD, Natasha being her she did not let it pass as she reached her hands to you inviting you to join her.
“Y/N we can change our lives there… we don’t have to kill people just because they want to, we can change the world there” you were a bit shocked to what had Natasha said to you as you had taking a liking on the life you were in.
“Will you stay with me even I betray my country?”  she was nervous… you can hear it in her voice as you accepted her hand as you always do and kissing the back of it which made her smile widely.
“Always IIyubov” she squeaked and throw herself to you caging you in a tightly hug and kissing you endlessly
“ya Iyublyu vas Y/N”
“ya Iyublyu vas Tasha”.
.
.
.
The SHEILD was no different to the red room that you and Natasha left back in Russia except that SHEILD treated you more nicely and have less missions. Natasha hated killing back then so you talked to Fury to never give Natasha assassinations unless necessary in exchange you will take the missions and do the dirty work for him which he gladly agreed and was kept secret between you both.
“baby I want you to meet Barton, Barton this is my girlfriend Y/N” Natasha was beaming as she introduced you to her friend, an agent she had gotten close from missions that she was dying for you to meet.
He smiled a bit as he offers his hand to you which you gladly took and send him a warm smile thinking how lucky this Barton to be a friend of Natasha.
“it’s nice to finally but a picture to the woman Natasha has been telling me all the time” you smirked and catch a glance at the blushing red head as she elbowed Barton at his side earning us a groan from him
“well Tasha never really shut up about having a friend like you either” Natasha being her sent you a death glare as both you and Barton laugh at the antics of the green eyed ex-assassin.
 And that started a beautiful friendship, You, Barton and Natasha were inseparable. Clint took you and Natasha back to his home where his family lived introducing you to his wife Laura and his kids.
Everything was perfect, Natasha and you having dates around New York, taking undercover missions as a couple, watching movies you missed during the training back in red room, constantly telling each other how much you love them and having to spend Christmas with Barton’s family.
Everything WAS perfect
That change because of that one mission…
The mission to retrieve Dr. Banner or the Hulk.
.
.
.
“You good Y/N?” you heard Clint asking you as you stop punching the sand bag
“Yeah… why?” taking a towel and wiping off the sweat on your face to look more presentable in front of your friend
“Why are you not part of the Avenger?” he bluntly questions you
You knew this is going to be a hard pill to swallow for Clint and Natasha of you not being part of the team, only you and Fury knows about the deal of you being the assassin of the SHIELD you did some missions with them but you were very discrete with your kills that Barton and Natasha didn’t even notice this so they thought you were doing similar mission like them.
You weren’t put on the Team because the team saves people from harm while you kill people so they won’t do harm. They were the symbol of peace while you lurk in the dark to aid the peace they wanted.
You just laugh at Clint patting his shoulder
“I’m leading a different team Barton, I may not be an Avenger but we only have one goal”
He was silent for a bit before speaking again
“Are you spending enough time with Natasha these days?” you knew where this is going as you shrugged
“we’ve both been busy, after what happened at New York our team’s missions have been piling up and so was yours” you answered
“Y/N it’s not that I want to mendle to you and Natasha’s relationship but… you really need to look after her and Banner… they’ve been far too cosy to each other” he told you as his voice was full of remorse
You knew about this, about her and Banner’s… closeness
You asked her about this the other time but she just brush it off saying that there just friends.
You didn’t want to point it out again because you trust her… but you just can’t get this feeling that there was more to their friendship, and you really can’t blame her that.
“I know” you whispered to him as silence filled the gym
.
.
.
You were given by Fury a week off from missions which you rejoiced, this was your time to be with Natasha and do something together.
You got off of the floor where the common room of her team is as you saw her by the chair chatting with Clint.
 “hey Tasha, Barton” Natasha and Clint smiled at you as you gave Natasha a hug burring your head on her neck making her giggle as Barton rolled his eyes at you.
“Fancy seeing you here Y/N” Clint said faking a british accent as you punched his shoulder murmuring ‘shut up’. You turned to Natasha
“Wanna get dinner later? My treat” you smiled brightly at her remembering the restaurant Maria suggested to go.
“I’m sorry Y/N, I promised Bruce to have dinner with him, how about tomorrow? Sounds good?” you saw Clint raised his left eyebrow as you felt a small pinch at your heart as you only smiled at her not wanting to alarm her.
“Sure, I’ll pick up tomorrow at 6 then” she kissed you on your cheeks thanking you for understanding as she soon got a call from Bruce wanting some help in the lab bidding you and Clint a goodbye before leaving.
You just sighted, you were looking forward to this dinner grabbing a help from Tony to have reservation in that restaurant since it only cater powerful people and Tony was one of them, you look at Clint as he gave you the ‘I told you so’ look
“so… wanna grab dinner Barton?” he cheekly smiled
“I thought you’d never ask”
When you met him at the exit of the building he also invited Maria and Dr. Cho who is wearing formal dresses as you and Barton wore some suit which made feel a bit better, after dinner Maria and Clint dragged you and Dr. Cho from bar to bar enjoying the break you had as they filled your night with fun taking your thoughts off of Natasha.
.
.
.
You were invited by Tony to attend his party, you wanted to decline but Clint, Maria and Dr. Cho forced you to come telling to relax for a while and from the moment you stepped in Banner and Natasha have been lost on their own world together.
You watch as Clint, Tony, Rhodey, Banner and Steve trying to pull Thor’s hammer from the glass table as you sat silently beside Natasha who was in a very ‘interesting’ conversation with Banner as you kept drinking the bottle of beer that was filled with vodka chugging it down to your throat just wanting to disappear in this room.
You felt a hand on your shoulder as you turned around seeing it was Dr. Cho as she gently pulled you up from your seat to Maria and Clint’s side making you breathed a bit more comfortable as she sat next to you giving her a kind smile
“Thanks” you whispered
“your welcome” she replied and continued to watch Steve as he pulled the hammer earning a squeak but again didn’t budge.
You felt Maria leaned on your legs as she sat down taking the bottle of beer full of vodka on your hands as she smelt it and immediately gave you a side eye as you murmured a quick “Sorry”
The fun was stopped when a broken robot walked in limping and all you know was there are robots trying to kill all of you.
You jumping to action wanting to run to Natasha to protect her but you saw her running with Banner…
You were jealous of it but Dr. Cho being closer to you, you pulled her away from the chaos as a robot shot the both of you, you hid her behind a large post
“Stay here” you told her as you pulled a gun from your side and started shooting the robot as it falls to the ground and took it’s head off as Thor finished the last one.
.
.
.
Another problem arises for the Avengers as you barely saw Natasha for a few weeks as you put yourself up from mission to mission not wanting to think about her as all you saw was her and Banner’s face laughing.
“The wall will melt if you kept staring at it you know” you were cut off on your daze by Maria as she sat beside the bed that you are now laying on in the Medical bay, Natasha had been notified about this as you tried to stop them but she never came to look for you.
“How bad was it?” Maria asked seeing your torso wrapped with bandages
“enough to keep me away from missions for two weeks” you sigh not really liking the idea of being coped up in a place that kept reminding you about the circumstance that you were in
“I think I know what have been running through your mind lately… it’s about Bruce and agent Romanoff is it?” the silence of you was taken by Maria as an answer as she looked at you in pity.
And you broke as tears run past you face just staring at nothingness, crying was a foreign thing for you, you never cried when you almost died or taken by the Red room, you never cry when you had your first kill.
But right now… the tears keep streaming down your eyes was you tried your best to stop it, you felt Maria stood and wrap her arms around your shoulder pushing your head on her chest as your tears wouldn’t stop.
“I-I don’t know what to do Maria…” your broken voice hurts Maria in many different ways, out of all the people she met you were one of the most calm person she encountered, and most importantly you are her friend…
It hurts her seeing you cry, it’s her first time seeing you being vule like this.
“just let it all out Y/N”
And you did.
.
.
.
You stood there outside of room Natasha was in wanting to see her as their mission failed and now laying low at Barton’s house but you stood there frozen from the scene of her and Banner holding each other.
You rushed out of your mission when you heard about what happened to them as Clint told you that Natasha was injured and all shaken up with the enhance girl putting things in their mind, you dropped everything and just want to be with the red head but what greeted you is this.
You clench your hands so hard not wanting to break here when you felt someone hugged your leg
“Aunt Y/N” Lila said as you gave her a forced smile picking her up from the ground
“where’s your mom hmm?” you asked her sweetly as she points out to the kitchen as you tickled her sending her in full giggles walking to the kitchen and seeing a very pregnant Laura cooking
Putting Lila down and greeting Laura as she turned to you
“Y/N! oh god I missed you!” you chuckled as she gave you a hug which you return
“Missed you too Laura” you broke the hug
“so did you meet Nat?” you just shrug at her wanting to change the topic so you stared at her big belly
“you look big Lau” she smacked your arm as you both laugh
“I know Lila has been telling me that, why don’t you go sit I’ll make some food” you decline as you picked up some ingredient and started cutting it.
“Nah I’ll be helping you out, we don’t want you getting to worked up”
After you finished cooking you left some supplies for them and sneakily left the Barton’s house not wanting to alarm the team as you linger around the perimeter checking for some anomalies before completely leaving for another mission Fury assigned.
.
.
.
“p-please don’t kill me I’ll do anything!”
Your phone rang as you were in the middle of killing one of the many leader of Hydra as he sat on the ground begging for his life
You quickly answered it as Clint’s voice filled your ear
“Y/N, Nat has been taken” your face harden as anger builds inside you
“What?! “
“Ultron took her”
“I’m on my way”
You ended the call and shooting the man on his head 3 times before heading out
All you though that time was to find Natasha.
.
.
.
You just stood there behind Clint in silent not wanting to lash out in anger and worry about Natasha, there are two new people in the group Pietro and Wanda… you thought they were too young for this, barely even living normal live and was thrown in to this mess… you pitied them as you pitied yourself.
Vision gave Thor his hammer which surprised everyone. Thor took the hammer as Vision left everyone speechless.
“right… well done” Thor patted Tony’s shoulder before leaving
“three minutes, get what you need” Steve said as all of us left packing things they’ll be needing.
You took some guns, daggers and things you needed as you held the locket Natasha gave you after you both graduated from the Red room… it has the first picture of you both smiling as you held a bit more freedom back then.
All you every though is
Bring back Natasha, bring back your love.
You remembered what Natasha used to say to you ‘will you stay by my side?’
“Always” you voiced out kissing the locket placing it back on your neck near your heart.
.
.
.
You were tasked to save Natasha with Banner and evacuated her, you lurked behind Banner as you both navigated your way to Natasha’s cage, you stood at the dark as you pulled your dagger out of the robot beheading it just be sure, turning around seeing Bruce has set Natasha free and again lost between their world.
You want to shout at them wanting your presence to be known rage boiled up inside you and everything stopped when she kissed him… your heart ached, it’s like someone was crushing your heart as all you want is to scream.
You silently left not wanting to see more of them as the picture of them kissing filled your head.
As you got outside you saw robots coming everywhere, you held on your gun and dagger tighter as civilians passed you, you swiftly yanked a robot’s head that was sticking out on the ground and all you saw was red…
 You kicked a head of a robot you just beheaded as tons of them was laying beneath your feet, you have gashes littering your body but you didn’t feel any tiredness or soreness only rage and betrayal.
“Y/N?” you froze when you heard the familiar voice of the woman you love, you didn’t want to turn around to see her face as it only reminds you that you were never hers anymore but you can never deny her.
You turn around facing her as your eyes held emptiness, she looked a bit worried as she took a step closer to you avoiding the metal bodies as you held your gun pointing at her and she stopped
“Y/N what are you doi-“ her words cut off when you fired the gun hitting the robot that was flying behind her.
You heard Tony saying stuff at your earpiece wanting all of you at the core as you saw Natasha’s hand holding it out on you
“stay with me?” your anger and rage melted at her words as it brought you back the memories of the past as you took her hand
“always”
.
.
.
“Together” Tony said as Natasha held your hands tighter as you squeeze it reassuring her
And that, all hell broke loose.
You kept killing robots after robots so was everyone keeping them away from the core, you saw a robot going to Natasha’s back, you pulled it’s head snapping its neck.
 “I’ll protect it” Wanda said as you, Natasha and Clint rode a car towards where the evacuation is
“get your asses on the boat” Natasha said as all of you got out of the car
“where are you going?” you asked her
“I have to get the big guy” ah… Banner you saw her run to the side as you stood there as you felt Clint held your shoulder
“hey… lets go now” you just nodded following him
 Bullets rained down as everyone took cover, Clint on the other hand pulled a child while you were beside him taking cover as you saw Pietro running to shield him…
You pushed your body forward as you reached Pietro’s left side but not enough to cover him from the other shots
You felt bullets broke out of your skin while you saw Pietro took 3, two on his arm and one on his right leg,
he’ll be alright with that…
you thought as your body weaken after taking one on your right shoulder on the right side of your stomach and on your arm.
You held your ground as you put pressure at the shot by your stomach as it bleeds out badly
“you good kid?” you ask Pietro as he nods limping
“Y/N!” you heard Clint shouted as Steve drag you and Pietro to the ship
Your ears were ringing badly as Clint tried to stop the bleeding
“Barton… I badly need a nap right now…” you whispered as blood ran down your lips
“Y/N hey don’t you dare sleep, We need a medic! Agent Y/N is down!” you heard Clint’s voice as you saw Pietro at the side sitting as he looked at you with apologetic eyes as you gave him a reassuring smile.
You saw small dark dots as you kept your eyes open not wanting Clint screaming at you but then you were swallowed by darkness.
 Clint run to the helicarrier towards the medical bay with you on his arm limping with Steve behind him holding Pietro
“MOVE!!” he shouted as he reached the med bay placing you on one of the bed as Dr. Cho did her best to keep you alive,
Clint was thrown out of the room as they waited outside patiently
“We’re losing her! Get the defibrillator!”
.
.
“Im gonna go and see Pietro” Steve announced as Clint just nodded as he sat beside the bed you lay on, as much as Clint hated the beeping sound from the machines that was hooked up from you it is the only reminder for him of you being alive.
Maria already passed by but Natasha was nowhere to be seen, Maria told Clint that she was busy finding Banner who is now in the quinjet in stealth mode and that made them angry.
Her girlfriend is lying here barely even alive but she kept searching for that guy.
.
.
.
“Thank you for saving me Y/N” Pietro’s heavy accent filled the room you were in
“you still have a lot of things to accomplish kid, and stop thanking me already” you took a bite off of your sandwich which Wanda made for you
“Your sandwich really hits the spot Wanda thanks” you smiled at the witch
“your welcome Y/N, I’ll bring some more tomorrow if you want” she smiled warmly
“that would be great”
A knock on the door and a red head popped on it
“well that’s our cue, come Pietro” Wanda pulled Pietro out of the room as Natasha walked in locking the room.
 “Y/N” she called you
“Natasha” you acknowledge her
 “how are you?...”
“getting better now”
 And a loud noise of silence embraced you both, you took a deep breath looking at the large glass with the green view outside
“I know…” you broke the silence as her head whip to look at you
“What-“ you cut her off
“I know about you and Banner…” you told her bluntly and straight forward
“Y/N… im sorry…”
You gave her a smile cupping her face as tears started to stream down her face
“It’s alright IIyubov… I really can’t blame you if you fall in love with him…” God… it’s been forever since you last called her that
You wipe off her tears as she kept saying how sorry she was as you hugged her tightly as if it was the last time you will do.
“Does he make you happy Tasha?” you asked her as she stayed silent for a while before nodding, your heart ached as it was like being stumped
“Do you love him?” you felt a nod as you closed your eyes tightly not wanting your tears to run by your face. Natasha was all you had left, your reason for everything, all you want is to protect her and keep her safe and make her happy.
And if she’s happy with him… even it hurts… you would gladly let her go
“Be with him…” Natasha froze in your embrace as her green eyes found yours
“All I wanted for you is to you to be happy Natalia… if being with him felt right then I would gladly let you go” at that moment you saw flashes of you and Natasha from the first time you met, to her being scared, the time you confessed your feeling, to your first kiss, the day you held each other as if non in the world matters, to your graduation in Red room, both of you joining SHIELD, celebrating Christmas with the Barton’s and to her lingering laughs and giggles telling you how much she loved you…
Your eyes were watery, Natasha was shocked by the words coming out of your mouth, it is her first time since you were kids seeing you this… broken… and she hated herself for she was the reason her Y/N was this. You’re her hero, her guardian, her shield you followed her everywhere around the globe happily as you were her sun.
A tear slipped from your eyes as you smiled painfully to the woman you love, to the woman you thought you would end up forever… to your home… With all the courage you spoke
“ya Iyublyu vas Natalia, Always and forever” kissing her forehead
as painful as it is, she can’t move forward with a part of her past lingering around her… You…
Breaking the embraced you were with her, taking a step back as you smiled at her as she stayed silent watching you
whispering your last words to her
“goodbye Natalia”
You walk off the room closing the door behind you with heavy heart. You are happy that she’s now making her own choices… not being tied down with anything and having control to her life, you are proud of her even that choice she made hurts you.
It breaks you to let her go but
Natasha finally found her family in Avenger
As you lost yours.
252 notes · View notes
mmvalentine · 3 years
Text
Take It Off | Feysand
I'm in my spiky feels... time for smut. Canon compliant.
Rhys hasn't seen Feyre in two weeks and he's going out of his mind.
She's at the Summer Court. On a diplomatic trip that he was had every intention of joining Feyre on but she didn't let him.
"Because you already have so much work in Velaris," she had said. "It's only two weeks, there's no point in you taking on even more when you barely have time to breathe as it is."
"That," Rhys had said, his arms looped around her waist and his teeth clenched so hard his jaw ticked, "is not a good enough reason to be parted from you."
"Fine," Feyre said, and her eyes sharpened. "Then it's because I'm keeping you far away from Cresseida and her greedy little claws."
"What?" Rhys balked. Feyre slid her hands up his chest, and pressed her lips to his throat.
"I've seen the way she looks at you. It would not be in the diplomatic interests of the court for me to strangle her in her sleep."
"Gods but you're sexy when you're jealous," Rhys said, and Feyre reached up on her toes to kiss his nose.
"I know," she said. "I'll be back for the Beltane revel."
And then she had swept out of the room and even though Rhys knew she had no such insecurity, he delighted in how wickedly fae she had become over the years.
In between now and then of course Rhys had spoken to Feyre every evening. Had spent time curled around her mind as she drifted off to sleep, sometimes having to wait while she worked late and other times watching the mists of her dreams curl upward like smoke.
One night she dreamed of him.
Rhys was almost asleep when he heard Feyre moan, as clear as if she was lying right next to him. He woke up, wandered down the bond and watched her back arch as she slept. Her small hands were fisted in the sheets, and brow creased as her head tossed. Rhys ghosted a finger down her heated cheek, growling for not being able to to touch her. She moaned again, and he knew that moan. It made him hard as a fucking rock.
It's not often that Rhys intrudes on Feyre's thoughts. But the hunger for her, the need to be close to her, egged him on. He wanted to see what was making her squirm- because he was fairly sure he knew. And he loved it.
Feyre's dreams were mostly just snatches of feelings and remembrances. Nothing especially substantive or specific. Nothing in comparison to the vivid memories he started threading into her mind. Just to... help her out.
Memories of the last time he had had her. In the bath tub. The steam rising around them. The water dripping off his wings. His cock buried so deep inside her she could have choked on it. Rhys replayed the feeling of her, tight around him as he slid in and out, in and out. Getting lost in it. He hoped she knew just how fucking good she felt.
Feyre woke, half way to orgasm, and Rhys didn't say a word as her hand slipped under the covers and between her legs. Didn't need to get behind her mind's shields to remember exactly how wet she could get for him and what that felt like on his fingers. Feyre moaned once more and he swore before grabbing his cock, too, miles and miles away, and moving his hand in time with hers.
"Yeah, just like that," Feyre whispered, still half asleep, and Rhys was burning up. The lust dripping down the bond had his vision blurring his cock aching. When Feyre finally opened her eyes, she looked straight at him, and all he could see was those baby blues, whether his eyes were open or closed. And then he was gripping himself harder because when she was staring at him like that with desire ringing her pupils he knew he was completely hers.
Let me see, Feyre murmured.
See what? Rhys asked muzzily.
You know what. Let me see.
What? Rhys said again. See this? He looked down at his cock in his hand.
Yeah, Feyre breathed.
You want to see what you do to me? He moved his hand up and down. You want to see how hard you make me? You know this happens every time you're on my mind. I'm walking around like this all day because of you.
All day? Feyre licked her lips, and Rhys watched her watching him.
All fucking day, he growled. And when I've got your voice in my mind, when I know you're lying there in bed all alone, thinking of me with your hand in your panties... it makes me just...
He trailed off, but his hand sped up and Feyre moaned a little.
You like watching, huh? Rhys asked her. You like watching me stroke it for you?
In another room, in another court, Feyre bit down on her lip and nodded.
Are you playing too? Rubbing that clit while you think of me?
Yes, Feyre whimpered, and her hips lifted off the bed.
I want you to slide your fingers inside yourself. Do it and imagine you've got my cock in you.
Feyre obeyed, and Rhys groaned. He stroked himself faster, and felt Feyre's attention shift back onto him.
Are you gonna match my pace? He asked. You fucking yourself just like I want to fuck you?
Feyre nodded and sped up. Her breathing shallowed, and Rhys growled low.
You wanna see me come?
Yes, Feyre said, and he could feel the wetness gathering on her hand.
You first, Rhys snarled. Come on your own fingers. And she did, so hard he felt it shudder down the bond, and there was only so many moments he could hold on after that before he was coming, too.
Feyre laughed softly as she drifted back to sleep.
I love you, she said, and then dropped off.
I miss you, Rhys whispered. He rolled onto his side and tried to get some sleep too. But somehow, he was still hard. No imagined tryst was as good as his mate in the flesh. He groaned, turned around to his back again, and jerked off hard and fast with the scent of her in his nostrils.
In much the same fashion, this night does not soothe him, only makes him more restless for her return.
Now two weeks later he is stalking around the moonstone palace with energy crackling at his fingertips. Feyre is due back today. Fourteen days without his mate is far too long, and his friends have started to avoid him. Had just teased him at first, but then he had become so irritable and unpleasant that they just steered clear altogether.
Which has left him slouching in his throne, wondering where the hell Feyre is. She hasn't so much as whispered in his mind all day.
And then just when he is about to storm into the Summer Court and fetch her himself, Feyre walks through the door and sits herself on the arm of his throne, casual as anything.
"Darling I'm home," she purrs, leaning back and gazing out at the crowd.
"And just where have you been?" Rhys asks, still looking out at the revellers.
"Working, lover, as discussed," is the cool response.
"I expected you back hours ago."
"I was... detained."
"At Tarquin's behest, no doubt."
"Perhaps."
Rhys grinds his teeth. In the corner of his eye, Feyre crosses one of her legs over the other, so that the toe of her pointed shoe grazes his ankle. Finally, he looks over, and his mouth goes dry.
Feyre is wearing the black dress, the Court of Nightmares dress, and the black diamond diadem to match. She looks down as he stares, and raises an eyebrow.
"What?" she says, and it is so insolent Rhys has a mind to bend her over that infernal armrest and take her in front of the whole court.
As it is, he manages not to. Turns his body toward his mate's, and runs his hand up her bare thigh, over the curve of it so that his fingertips travel the inside edge of her skin. He stops himself at the top of her thigh, barely holding on to his self-control. He remembers the first time she wore this dress and he had touched her like this. Her face watches his impassively, but her legs fall open just a fraction, and Rhys, wound up as he is, feels a shudder run the length of his body.
"Fuck," he hisses, and he is so hard it hurts.
"Something troubling you, my lord?" Feyre asks, all wide-eyed innocence.
"We're leaving," Rhys grits out.
"But darling," Feyre says, and she shifts her hips so that his hand, resting just under the satin of her skirts, finds that she is not wearing any underwear. "The revel has only just begun." This fucking dress. He doesn't know what's more tantalising- the exposed curve of her breast, or peak of her nipple beneath the fabric, so fine he thinks it doesn't count as clothing.
Rhys visibly swallows, moves his fingers so that they only just brush against the soft lips of her bare pussy, and looks at her with desperate eyes.
"And I just got here." Feyre smiles beatifically, and her mate growls with all of his teeth showing. She tilts her hips, outwardly not seeming to move from her perch but managing to shift to that his fingers are right on the centre of her. Rhys stares at her navel, seeing nothing, transfixed by the silk and heat of her. "Shouldn't we stay just a little longer?"
Feyre blinks at him, all wide-eyes innocence. But then his fingers twitch and even this tiny movement has her soaking, and it's far too much.
"Take it off," Rhys snarls.
"What?"
"Your dress. I can't stand to have you covered up another fucking second."
"My love, you can hardly expect me to strip off in front of all these good fae."
He grabs her wrist, and the next second they've winnowed into their bedroom.
"Take. It. Off."
Feyre tips her head to one side, and looks at her lover, half-feral by the closed door.
"Did you miss me when I was gone?" she croons.
"Off," Rhys repeats, and Feyre's gaze meets the protrusion in the front of his trousers. Her mouth forms the shape of recognition, and her eyes sparkle. She lifts her hands to the fastenings in the back of the dress, but she is too slow.
Rhys crosses the room in three strides and tears the fabric with his hands. Feyre gasps as he touches her, puts his hands on her everywhere. His teeth pull at the skin of her neck, his thumbs stroke over her nipples. His fingers find the clasp of her necklace and remove that too. She goes to lift the tiara from her head, but Rhys stops her.
"That, you can leave on," he growls, and then finally her kisses her and it's somewhere between scathing possession and relief that could shatter him.
Feyre whimpers, it's a long moment before Rhys can pull himself away. Then with steely eyes but gentle hands he pushes her to her knees.
Feyre looks up at her mate, keeping her eyes on his as he takes his cock out and lowers it to her lips.
"Are you going to be a good girl?" he asks, low and dangerous. "Are you going to give me what Tarquin doesn't get?"
Feyre doesn't break eye contact as she takes his entirety into her mouth, relaxing her throat to fit him in. The groan this pulls from Rhys is entirely worth it.
"So good," Rhys murmurs, as she starts to move her head back and forth. At that moment, Feyre flashes up a memory. Her and Tarquin sitting at a long table. So good, Tarquin says with his eyes on Feyre's and a dessert spoon in his mouth.
Rhys growls, and his hands slide into her hair. He holds her in place as he fucks her mouth a little harder, and Feyre's laughter tickles the bond.
"Oh you think that's funny, do you?" Rhys snarls, and in the next second he's pulled out, lifted her up and over his shoulder, and is carrying her to the bed.
Feyre is dumped unceremoniously on her back, and before she can sit up Rhys’s whole weight is on her and his snarl is grazing the shell of her ear.
”You‘re a fucking tease, my darling,” he says from his throat. Feyre starts to reply but he’s pressing the air out of her. "I think you'll pay for that now."
Without breaking eye contact, takes her bottom lip between his teeth, and slowly pushes his cock inside of her.
Feyre's head tilts and her eyes roll. Her lips part and she goes for a gasp, but Rhys is still heavy on her chest and she can't get any air in. Her mouth opens and closes, and her hands tighten on Rhys's arms. Rhys's lips curl, as he reaches his hilt. He kisses gently down Feyre's neck, still not letting her breathe. His hands lift hers above her head, and his tongue glides all the way back up her throat to her ear. When he finally lets up, he watches her inhale as he withdraws, and then just before she exhales he punches his hips forward so her next breath is forced out in a cry.
Rhys loves watching Feyre when he's moving inside her. She knows he loves her wicked words and taunting eyes, but even her mind is silent as this sensation, this bond, this coming home after weeks away becomes more important than everything else.
At first, Rhys is hard and desperate. Needs to feel her everywhere so he knows she's back and she's safe. Needs release after so long in a cold and empty bed. And he's in love with the way that she responds to him, never shying away from him even when he's sharp and rough with her. In fact, she seems to need it too, and when her fingers taper into talons that drag down his back, he shudders with his whole body as his wings ripple out from beneath his skin. Her knees hug his ribcage, and her can feel the pulse in her throat beneath his lips.
And then her eyes open and the entire sky is framed in her lashes. Rhys's heart breaks and suddenly he's moving slow, sinuous, deep and rolling. His wings shut out the twilight, narrowing the world to just the two of them. Feyre's breathing changes and then the moans are long and keening. Rhys holds her gaze as she starts to unravel in his arms. He moves a thumb to circle her clit. He moves in, and out, and in again.
"Come for me," he whispers in her ear, and when she does it's delicious. When she's halfway through her orgasm he picks up the pace again because he isn't going to let her come down. He's got two weeks to make up for.
Feyre is screaming as his hands slide over her and squeeze her breasts. His thumb caresses her nipple, gentle even though his hipbones are knocking hard against hers. He kisses her open mouth and uses his tongue to cut off the sound, and her grip is so tight in his hair.
Please, Feyre finally begs. It's the first word she's uttered since they began. Now it comes in a litany. Please, please, please.
Rhys scoops his hand behind Feyre's head, fingertips scraping against her scalp before pulling her hair so hard her head tips back. Her eyes slide closed and her hands shake on his shoulders.
Please, I need you.
Rhys turns her head slightly to the side using the fistful of hair he's got, exposing more of her throat to him. He bites down between her jaw and her ear lobe, where he can taste her heartbeat and the smell of her is clearest, and when all that's in his mind is his mate, he comes hard in the tight heat of her and she's got tears in her eyes when she comes again with him.
In the fading light, in this sumptuous bed, in the embrace of his lover, Rhys puts his face into Feyre’s neck and breathes deeply. He grins against her dewy skin as he listens to her heart stutter and catch its breath. Feyre sighs contentedly.
”You know,” she says after a moment, “leaving you is almost worth it for the reunion sex.”
Rhys growls at her, tugs her down the bed and flips her over. Feyre laughs breathlessly as he smacks her once on the ass, and then he pulls her hips back toward him and fucks her until her laugh has turned to moans and her moans have turned to sobs. And this time when he’s done with her there are no smart remarks, just her curled up on his chest like a limp kitten and he traces his bitemarks in her skin until she’s falling asleep.
“Alternatively,” he whispers, “you can just never leave me again.”
He takes her lack of reply as an agreement.
**** MASTERLIST
TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-loml @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @loosingdreams @whythefuckdoiexist @inejsarrow @swankii-art-teacher @sjmships @courtofjurdan @teddytdr @positivewitch @thalia-2-rose @darling-archeron @rapunzel1523 @fairchildjace @philosophorumaurum02 @story-scribbler @allthecolorsneverseen @asteria-of-mars @fandomstalker27 @realbookloverproblems
225 notes · View notes
pupiiaye · 3 years
Text
Reminiscence of Violence //. A yandere Diluc x GN reader.
They were a virus, a disease that needed curing, a simple tune that needed listening. They were a pill, an addiction if you will. He had to have it, he craved it more than the bloodlust that trickled through his veins and caused up a storm. What exactly was this feeling? Why did he feel it? Why was it more intense than the deaths and bloodshed he's seen a thousand times over? And why… why did he want it so badly? Why did he want to rip it from its core and feast upon it like a starving man? Tonight, he will have his answer.
Fair warnings: knife play, character death / threat implied, possessiveness, spankings, dirty talk, a rather dark Diluc, markings.
------
The stars in the sky glistened above them, whispering secrets told from different lands, different stories. The clear wind danced through trees, kissed against skin, leaving their invisible mark against the bare flesh. It was not odd to be seen wandering around the grassy plains of Mondstadt, travelers and knights had duties to attend to, commissions to complete and bounties to conquer. Moonlight blessed those who decided to wander without any real reason, the wanderer in question being a simple soul. One who had found themselves living amongst the city of freedom for quite some time. Not a knight, but a fair citizen who took the pleasure in helping others. They didn't consider themselves to be a savior, nor did they consider themselves to be someone without any purpose. This was the main reason as to why they've managed to catch the eye of /the/ the richest man in Mondstadt.
It goes without saying that this was rather impressive, everyone can see the clear hook they had on him. The addiction they provided without even doing as much as lifting a finger. Their eyes screamed of excitement, and in return the ex knight's heart would scream with desire. Diluc, quiet noble man who had his morals, his regrets, and his fancies. Diluc, the man who didn't take pleasure in affairs or hit offs, the man who cared not of looks but of trust and genuine emotions.
This drove a man crazy, off the walls even. It was not of hate, but confusion as to why or how one person could pull the heaviest of beats out of his once dying heart. Frowns that once covered his features turned into ones of admiring grins, turned into little smirks whenever they would ramble and rant about their passions. Beauty, they were littered with it, from the very gleam of irises to the movement of plush lips. Archon's, he wanted to taste them, wanted to nibble and bite into those moving pillows they called lips. He wanted to make them bleed and bruise after getting done with kissing them, and would he stop there? Absolutely not.
His daydreams were becoming worse, and the only thing that could snap him out of them were the blissful sounds of laughter. The symphony of little chuckles mixed in with a breathy hiccup of air. Oh, he knew this sound like he knew the scriptures of poetry, this sound was one he got drunk on. Instead of wine, he could listen to his baby's sweet giggles until death slayed him where he stood.
The reason as to why it was happening, however, was enough to make a man see red. How dare he? How dare that betraying drunk prick, the simple audacity of this … Fool. Was he asking for another death wish, perhaps? Did he wish to watch the flames of hell rise once more? Did he want Diluc to throw him out in the coldness of oceans and watch him choke and gasp and cling on to whatever breath of fucking air he could get? So many questions, not enough action. The solid glass in his hand could shatter from how tight he was gripping it, however Diluc was a man with pride, a man with patience and logic on his side. He would not yell, he would not allow his nerves to get the best of him. What he will do, is way worse than a simple “get the hell out” will do.
“Sir Kaeya, last time I checked, that was your fifth drink as of tonight. I suggest you wrap it up quickly before it gets too dark.”
The words were not of an option, but rather one of a demand. Those blazing embers Diluc called eyes were boring into a crystal one. He did not care where Kaeya went, how he got there, or where he will end up. All he knows is that he best make his decision quick before patience thinned out. The look he got in return did nothing to calm his raging pulses of blood either, he could kill this man given that chance again. This time, Diluc wouldn't forget it.
“My, what a rush… Pardon me, Master Diluc. I was not aware you had other things to tend to, throwing me out so soon. Or do you wish to have them to yourself, hm? Very well, I mustn't interrupt your … Desires. Just do not have too much fun whilst everyone are away, it would only make me jealous. Ain't that right, sweetheart?”
This chattering baboon talked too much, he was too touchy with what clearly belonged to Diluc. He did things too much, talked too smoothly, acted as if they had any interest in him when Diluc knew for a fact who the real winner was. As expected, Kaeya always thought certain things belonged to him, and for once in his life Diluc had the urge to be as competitive as his brother.
“Are you quite done? Hurry up and take your leave, or do I have to throw you out myself?”
Venom laced with every word, hands turning white from how hard he gripped onto the table. Mark his words, when he's done laying claim, this man was next on his overdue hit list. His thoughts were so loud that he didn't even hear his brother mocking him before the tavern doors closed with a squeak. So loud that he didn't even hear his soon-to-be — no, that's not right. They are his dearest, his love, his desires, and everything more. Right? Why would they look at him with such concern if not were true? Why would they touch his arm and smile so sweetly if not for him? Did they not come to him, and only him when scared, if not because they held dear feelings that he too reciprocated? They loved him, it was plain as can be. They adored him even, yet they were too shy to admit it to his face. Figures, Diluc knew this, he knew them more than the back of his hand. They just need a little help expressing It, right? Especially with the way they were chatting and laughing up a storm with his dearest, soon to be dead, brother.
Clouded eyes came back down to heaven, that heaven being the warm smile of his love. That's so much better, he didn't want to see that smile directed towards anyone else but him, it wasn't their fault. They didn't know that they belonged to Diluc yet, and that was okay. This is why he must teach a very simple lesson. One that will engrain itself in their memories until death.
“I find it funny…” eyes hands smooth over the wooden surface of the bar stand. He took in the smoothness, the patterns that followed along his fingers. “I find it hilarious even, how he thinks you belong to him when we both know that isn't true, right?”
What was that expression they wore? Confusion? Oh, how Diluc loved it when they played stupid, they were nothing of the sort. Perhaps they wanted to entice Diluc further, pull him in deeper, so he could ravish them against this here bar stand. Yeah, that's exactly what it was, Diluc could tell, he knew the signs all well. Being the observant man he was, he would not allow this one to wiggle free from his dangerous palms.
Slowly, gloves slowly began their journey off of slender fingers. Those red eyes burning into ones of a pretty little thing, just waiting to be taken. Their body screamed to be claimed and taken over by, but not just for anyone — no. He danced those same eyes up and down, taking their time to design the way they'll look, shivering and begging for more of him. He took his time imprinting the thought of them choking on air as he drew breaths and sweet words out of them. Bare hands reached for the blade tucked away in the waist band of his pants. Hands gliding over the wooden surface as long legs carried him out to where they sat. Confusion on their face turned into one of interest, and oh Diluc could not wait until that face of theirs turned into one of pleasure, pain, and agony. He wanted to make them beg, scream, chant his name like a god-damn song. It will happen, he's sure of it. They had nowhere to run, nowhere to escape. The only thing saving them from Diluc's hands was Diluc alone.
“Now, I hate to be the giver of bad news, but he doesn't own you. You do not beckon to his every call, and you certainly do not belong to him. Your thoughts, your words, your actions, even the way you move…”
A small sigh, eyes casting down on sweet thighs that were soon to be marked with the carvings of his name
“You know it all belongs to me, correct? When you lay in bed, and you drift your pretty head to sleep, you are aware you dream of me, yes? When you bat those eyes and look up … At me, you know I am the one who controls that seemingly empty head of yours, right?”
There's so much silence, but Diluc has enough patience to see the way their legs clench at every word, could hear the way their breathing thickens and stutters in the back of their throat. That's all he needed to see to know what he was saying was nothing far from true. Finally, hands are reaching forward, moving to caress and then cup at warm cheeks. Blushing, he can tell just from how abnormally hot they were. Their temperature is never this warm, he should know since he memorized their normal body heat.
“So you do know that. Then why is it, why my pretty flaming flower…”
Remember back when he thought he had patience? Apparently he had thought wrong of himself. He found his hands gripping tightly to their jaw, the free hand coming down to cup at smooth thighs. Oh, oh how they flinched so beautifully in his grasp, oh the hopeless look in their eye made his dick sing. They way they didn't resist, the way their thighs rubbed together. Their body was so damn honest, what was he to do? How could he not take them when they were basically asking for it?
"Why is it you let him touch you? Why did you allow him to touch and flirt with something that clearly belongs to me? Answer me, quickly."
He saw their mouth open to talk, and for a moment he had nothing but the thought of making them choke on his cock. Soon, not tonight, but soon enough.
"I'm sure he wasn't flirting, Diluc. You know Kaeya, he talks with charm, theres nothing I can do about that."
Wrong move.
A deep breath was taken before a hot hand reached up to grab at their arms, pulling them up just to twist them around and push them against the edges of his very own bar.
"Give me a good reason why I should not mark this body with my name at this moment."
He didn't give them time to answer, too busy trailing the edges of a blade down their clothed back. No matter, they do not need to talk all too much. Diluc only wanted to hear their cries and begs, nothing more nothing less. "Tell me that you desire me. I need to hear you speak your truth before I continue, I already know that you do so do not try to lie to me, dear flower."
His words spoke deep into their ear, tone clear and free from hesitation. And when their lips opened to plead for him, oh it made it all the much better. His pride hit the ceiling, he knew it. All those signs from before were so true, and now he was able to hear it for himself, soak in those desperate words of, "yes Diluc, please take me. Make me yours, please." oh how polite they were, always so obedient, always listening out for any command. What a good pet they were, what a good flower they were.
The sounds of material being cut open filled the thick air, along with those rough fingers feeling up the smooth of their back, enjoying the way his canvas felt right under his flaming tips. Diluc could not wait to sink his teeth in and taste their sweet necture himself. Those eyes drunk up their topless form once more before trailing the knife further down, he had other days to take his time with them. Tonight they were his to destroy and break down.
Lips and teeth ran free on their body. Leaving purplish marks against sweet tender skin, his knife work not being cut short. He made sure to tear at their bottoms leaving them in nothing but the bruises he had gifted them. Their sweet moans and whimpers filling his ears, filling his desire to ruin them even further. He wasted no time in running possesive hands down their waist, grabbing at thighs just to pull them apart. The squirming under his palms not going unnoticed, infact he laughed something dark at the way their body twitched and pathetically squealed under his touch.
'Look at you. Isn't this just pathetic, if it were any other day I would give you the honor of laying under my damn boot just to watch your body squirm for me. Just to watch it beg for me to continue, Archons look at how you move, and you expect me to just stand idle while others try and get of piece of you? No, I refuse."
It didn't end there, his touches only got more intense. Grabbing a handful of their ass, manhandling it under a rough smack was placed upon them. Oh he hoped that left a bruise, he hoped that with another smack they would cry out /louder/ for him. He deserved to hear. After nights and endless nights of not being able to see them under him, Diluc deserved to watch them grow more desperate for him.
"Look at that, look at you squirm for me and not him. Listen to the way you call my name and not his. Do you know what that is? It's the signs of you belonging to me, nobody else but me. And if I catch anyone, and I mean /anyone/ putting their damn hands on you I will make sure to take you in front of them. That is a promise, my flower."
He made sure they could feel his now slicked up warm fingers prodding at their entrance, the dark chuckle exiting from his lips and into their burning ears. The warmth of their gates of heaven fans against his fingers and diluc can't help but groan out in pure need. Oh how crazy they make him. With caution diluc moves his fingers in, one and then the next and then the next after that. Each finger slipping inside once pained gasps turned into ones of satisfaction and greed. They were so good for him, taking him like he was no damn problem. As expected of course, it were only his fingers after all, but soon...
Sounds of metal and then thick clothing could be heard hitting the ground. Their ears can pick up the way diluc's breathing deepened, showing signs of how badly he needed this just as much as they did. Hot hands suddenly slam on either side of them, their skin touching so they can feel how hot Diluc was at the moment. No words were spoken while a hand came behind them, caressing that sweet throat just to pull their head back. Lips coming in contact with their own, connecting in this brutal dance of love, crazy untammed and dangerous love.
This was a great time for him to distract them, leading his aching cock with the other free hand he had. Poking at their entrance with the demand to be let in, eyes glowing with determination. Inch by inch walls wrapped tight around him loosened up the more they took him in. Archons the way they arched against his chest and lips trembled against his own, the way they whimpered and furrowed their eyebrows, gods help him for he is a man weakened by the simple sight of them breaking down.
"That's it... There we go, you take it. You take it like the good bitch you are, yeah? Look at you, god damn look at you. Do you think kaeya could make you react like that? Here allow me to help you answer that."
Hips finally got sent flying home. Making contact with their skin, kissing at the thin layer of sweat, evidence of how much work was put in. Diluc felt his grin widen, something so foreign to his features, yet he invited it in whenever they were involved. One hand came down to grip at those hips, pulling them back home to the base of his cock every single time. They cries, oh their sweet cries encouraged diluc to destroy that willing hole of theirs. The tears that began to bubble up brought him nothing but satisfaction, the gush and mess made was art against his now squirming canvas.
"Harder. Cry harder for me if you wish to cum, I promise you I'm not allowing you out of this damn tavern until your tears beg me to. You can squirm and gush all over my fucking cock as much as you please, but until I start seeing some real tears... Well, baby love, you can kiss Kaeya goodbye, would be a shame for him to lose a friend, hm?"
This was followed by harsher thrust, his dick swelling up to the brim, damn near ready to explode and unload deep inside of their aching fuckhole. Oh but the harder they teared up and rushed out with tears, the more diluc couldn't help but wish to fill them up with his thickening seed. His hand on their throat growing tighter and tighter until one more thrust sent them jerking against the edge. Hand now moving to their head, pushing them down until their faces squished against the wooden table. He kept them there while hips rolled his name out against their ass, unloading his cum inside of their shivering walls. Feeling them clench and gush with their own orgasm, oh how proud he was to know they knew when to cum. How proud he was to know that his flower could milk him for everythiing he had.
"That's it.. There we go, you are so good for me, sweet flower. Unfortunately I am not finished with you."
Diluc, a man who will never be satisfied until things were perfect. Diluc , a gentlemen , a man who only believed in trust and hard work. Diluc, the man who could go more than one or two rounds. Diluc , the man who made them scream until their throat went dry and their vision went blurry.
Tonight he laid his claim, and much like many other nights, he will make sure the entire city of Mondtstadt knew who they belonged to.
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cuttoothed · 3 years
Text
Day 7 of @jonmartinweek for the prompt "You are my reason". Still living in post-200 AU land.
*
There comes a day when Jon doesn’t wake up afraid.
His alarm goes off before the sun rises; he wakes tired, but feeling a little thrill of anticipation, because he and Martin have plans today. Nothing earth shattering, but they’re both off work, and the weather is due to be nice, so they’re going hiking up in the hills. Jon’s been looking forward to this all week; he's even okay with being up at dawn on his day off.
The hike is challenging, but the views are worth it, as the morning clouds part into sunshine and leave them gazing out across the craggy, verdant landscape. At the crest of the trail, they sit on a boulder to eat sandwiches and drink tea from a flask; Martin spots some cows on the hillside below and points them out with delight. By the time they get back to the car, they’re exhausted, and they agree that nobody’s going to be cooking tonight, so it’s takeaway from the Indian place near their flat.
That evening they eat too much curry, and drink red wine, and end up curled sleepy and sated on the sofa together, watching nonsense on telly.
“This was a good day,” Jon says; Martin only hums in agreement, so it’s probably time to get him to bed.
It’s only as he’s brushing his teeth that Jon realizes that he hasn’t thought about the end of the world all day. He usually wakes up from dreams of the ruined world; at the very least, it’s always in the back of his mind, guilt and fear and grief tapping at the windows of his consciousness through the day. He’s never had a day where he didn’t think at all about what happened—about what he did.
The realization jolts sharply through him, like a missed step in the dark; it makes something drop like a stone into his stomach, though he doesn't understand why.
He tells his therapist about it at their next session, couched in the careful untruths he’s crafted to convey the vast weight of it all without mentioning the literal apocalypse. Stuart listens, nodding, as he describes what happened, and then when Jon is finished he says:
“You know this is a good thing, right?”
“S-sorry?”
“Trauma plants its roots deep, Jon. It’s pervasive, like chronic pain. The days you have without pain in your leg or your hand, those are good, right? Even though they don’t mean that you’re permanently healed?”
“Yes,” Jon admits, flexing his fingers.
“This is the same. Your trauma isn’t gone, but the fact that you were able to enjoy a whole day without thinking about what happened—that’s really, really good.”
“But I can’t just forget—” Jon starts, and he’s not sure what he’s trying to say; I can’t forget what happened, I can’t forget that it was my fault, I can’t stop looking over my shoulder for what’s coming next.
“Of course not,” Stuart agrees. “But part of healing is letting what happened move into the past. Not forgetting it, but recognizing that it isn’t part of your present. That you can move on.”
Except it is the present, in the thousands of worlds he unleashed the Fears into. It isn’t something that can just be forgotten, that he can move on from. They’ve seen and felt no trace of the Fears in this world yet, but even that doesn’t mean they won’t come; it may just be a matter of time. Jon feels his chest tighten with that knowledge, that fear.
“The people I hurt,” he says carefully. “It’s not in the past for them—they’re still hurt by my actions today.”
“That might be true,” Stuart says. “But from what you’ve told me, you can’t change that. And your guilt doesn’t help them. All it does is punish you.”
“Maybe I deserve to be punished,” Jon snaps angrily, but Stuart only smiles, his face kind.
“Nobody deserves to be punished forever, Jon. Eventually, you have to forgive yourself.”
They’re nice words, but Stuart can’t possibly understand what he’s asking Jon to do. He’s been responsible for immeasurable pain and fear, the unchecked torture of billions of people; he will be responsible for so much more, across thousands of worlds. His whole life has been nothing but a means to a horrifying end. How can he just absolve himself of guilt, enjoy this charmed life he’s somehow gained while damning countless others?
(How can he believe that the consequences will not find him, someday.)
Martin must notice his mood when he gets back from therapy, because it’s not five minutes before a mug of tea and a packet of Jon’s favorite biscuits are placed on the coffee table in front of him.
“All right?” Martin asks, sitting down on the sofa with his own tea. He never asks Jon questions about his therapy —just as Jon respects the privacy of Martin’s sessions—but if he thinks Jon is upset, he’ll ask an open question like this, so Jon knows the offer is there to talk about it.
Jon considers. He hasn’t told Martin about what happened—or rather didn’t happen—the day they went hiking, not wanting to spoil it for him. But Martin’s the only person in this entire world who can possibly understand how Jon is feeling, and he’s the person Jon trusts most. Jon doesn’t want to hide things from him, not anymore. They’ve had enough of that for a lifetime.
So he tells Martin what happened, and how it made him feel, and what Stuart said, and how that made him feel. At the end of it, Martin gives him a fond, teasing smile.
“So what I’m hearing is that you’re feeling bad for not feeling bad,” he says. “That is...so incredibly you, honestly.”
“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” Jon protests.
“I know it is. And I’m not trying to dismiss how you feel. I promise. It’s just…” Martin pauses, his brow furrowing as he considers what to say. “Sometimes, when I feel sad for no reason—when parts of me go sort of...numb, I start looking around, expecting to see the fog curling in under the windows. But it isn’t, because the Lonely isn’t here, and I have to deal with the fact that there’s no—no fear monster making me feel that way. It’s just me.”
“Martin…” says Jon, his heart aching. Martin doesn’t often talk about the bad days, after they’ve passed; he prefers to save it for his therapist, since “that’s what I pay them for”. He reaches for Martin’s hand, and Martin laces their fingers together.
“I think you’re the same,” Martin says. “Ever since we got here, you’ve been waiting for something bad to happen. For all of it to—to catch up with you. But it hasn’t. There’s no Fears coming after you, and there’s no...universal justice, or whatever, to punish you. It’s just you, Jon.”
Jon feels a lump in his throat, his eyes stinging. Has he been waiting all this time for something bad to happen, for the other shoe to drop? Has he thought of this as only temporary—a longer respite than that three weeks in the cottage, but just as impermanent? He shakes his head.
“That doesn’t take away from what I did,” he says. Martin nods.
“It doesn’t,” he says. “And nothing takes from the fact that I didn’t kill Jonah Magnus when I had the chance, either. We can’t change the past. We just have to find reasons to live with it. To carry on living. Now, as we are.”
“You know what my reason is,” Jon tells him, his voice thick with emotion; he told Martin a long time ago. Martin ducks his head, smiling, and his fingers squeeze around Jon’s.
“I know,” he says. “But it’s okay to have other reasons too. A nice hike in the hills, or going to the pub with some friends, or petting the many cats you seem to have befriended in our neighborhood. It’s okay to just...be happy, Jon. I promise.”
“I-I’m not sure I can,” Jon tells him; he’s not sure he deserves the chance to be.
“I know,” Martin says. “I know it’s difficult. But you do deserve it. And I’ll be here to keep telling you that until you believe it. I’ll be here to help you keep getting better, like you help me. As long as it takes.”
Jon feels a sob rising in his chest, and dives in to stifle it against Martin’s shoulder, burying his face in the solid expanse. He can feel the tears wetting his cheeks, soaking into Martin’s jumper, but he knows Martin won’t mind. Martin’s arms go around him.
“I hope you’re okay with the long haul, then,” he mumbles against Martin’s shoulder. He’s not sure what he’s done to deserve this, probably nothing, but he has it, and he doesn’t want to let it go. Martin chuckles warmly, petting his hair.
“That’s what I’m here for, sweetheart,” he says. “I’ll be your reason, if you’ll be mine.”
“That’s the deal, then?” Jon says; he’s not sure if he’s laughing or sobbing, but he knows he loves this man with all his heart.
“That’s the deal,” Martin agrees. And Jon might not deserve a deal like that, but he’d be a fool not to take it.
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pls write the very first with timothee 😭 that song reminds me of him
i couldn’t find a song called the very first i’m so sorry 💕😭 i did the very first night by taylor swift instead, i hope this is what you mean. ily nonnie, and if this is the wrong song lmk and send the artist and i’ll write the correct one for you <333
it was so much fun to write exes talking to each other omgggg why didn’t anyone tell me
warnings: language, mentions of making out, breakups
send me a song and i’ll write a fic!
the very first night
you want to leave the party. you didn’t come here alone, wanting to appear more put-together and less heartbroken than you are. you’ve gone to different parties every weekend, but it all feels the same because you’re not with him.
ever one pretends to know how you feel. they say that they’ve all been through a breakup before, and you know that it’s true. they all mean well, but they really don’t know. they weren’t there as you fell in love with him. they didn’t see you dance with him in the kitchen, the way he chased you to your shared room. you had ended up on the couch, him on top of you. you would laugh like children and you fell in love like children. you assumed that it would be like an endless summer of running away together, but the summer had to end. ironically, it ended in winter, him whispering soft words the same way that he would whisper to you in the car. his hand would find yours as the neon motel lights passed by, and he would tell you how much he loved you.
the heartbreak had come out of nowhere. neither one of you expected to get so hurt so suddenly.
the shattering had started with a lazy “i love you” in the morning.
after, an “i miss you when you aren’t around.” a nice sentiment, but the wrong words.
then, anger and fear. it’s not like he could control when he was gone. it’s not like you could follow him around the world and still follow your dreams. neither one of you had wanted to be the reason the other had to give up. so you had ended it there, sitting on your bed, sheets wrapped around you legs. your backs to the headboard, sunlight just starting to pour through the window.
he gave you a kiss goodbye at the door, a cardboard box of his things in his arms. a deep part of you thought that maybe he would come back the next day, but you knew that he wouldn’t.
this seemed much more final.
you’re leaning against the wall outside on the balcony, a delicate glass in-between your fingers. you hadn’t been able to justify leaving the party completely, but taking a break had been civil enough.
“care for some company?” you hear a familiar voice, one you’ve been hoping and dreading to hear. you look up to see timothee walking towards you, hands raised in surrender.
“sure,” you say.
“so. how are you?” his question comes out flat and one-dimensional, but you answer anyway.
“well, i’ve been better.”
“right. your friends have been worried about you,” he adds.
“i can’t imagine why.”
“come on. i don’t have to be your boyfriend to know when you need someone to talk to.”
“and you think you have a right to talk to me?”
you say harshly. perhaps a bit too harshly, but you were caught off guard by his presence.
“no,” he concedes. “i don’t. but i’m the only one here who would understand.”
“fine.”
everything comes out at once. for some reason you couldn’t say this to anyone but him. it’s not like it can change anything. you two were doomed from that first night in the hotel room, not that either one of you thought there would be an end. polaroids strewn across the floor, beautiful, handwritten messages on the pictures of the two of you.
“you’re the last person i should be talking to about this. but i miss you so much. i miss you like it’s the first night i’ve spend without you even though i’ve been alone for the past month. i miss the person i was when i was with you. i go home to my apartment and see invisible footprints from our past crisscrossed around the rooms. i see your indent in my bed from when you would lay, and there’s a ghost of your stupid coffee mugs in the counters.”
“i want to go back to us,” you continue. “i want to go back in time to when we thought our names were written in the sky together, before the cracks started forming. and i know it’s not fair, but i’m so angry at you. it’s not like we could do anything differently. i would be more disappointed if you had stayed, i think. but i’m so mad and i can’t tell why. i just feel helpless in a way i haven’t felt in a long time.”
“and i’m so fucking lonely right now,” you finish.
“you don’t have to be. i may not be your partner, but i still care deeply about you. i still want you to be okay. just because i took my things doesn’t mean i forgot about everything we went though.”
“i miss you too, you know,” he adds. “no one else quite has your wit or charm, and i can’t fit all of my mugs in my cabinet now that they’re out of yours.”
“we would’ve started to resent each other if we stayed together,” you say. “i would hate you for leaving and you would loathe me for staying. we were good together though.”
“fuck yeah we were.”
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Ulaghig
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Rating: NSFW Length: 1505 Pairing: Male Orc x GN Reader
For @monstersandmaw; I saw you like the rougher Uruk-hotties and thought you might want some angsty fluff. TW for war, death, injuries, brief mentions of past self-harm. Tell me if I missed anything!
xxx
War was won by kings, but lost by the common man. Your village had been pillaged for supplies in the war between nations, food taken from your mouths and the old or sickly unceremoniously slaughtered. Those that could work or bring pleasure were tied behind horses while smaller children were abandoned to the cold, unforgiving landscape. You watched your home burn to embers before you were pulled away behind your abductor’s steed, stumbling along the dirt roads on bare feet and slipping on damp earth or manure on your way. This was your existence for weeks, bruises building on bruises, heart raw and unmending.
The terror of the orcs attacking was almost a relief.
They attacked at night, arrows flying and finding gaps in armour, huge maces and morningstars crushing armour like fine porcelain. They killed everyone who didn’t surrender, and then killed some of those that did, perhaps because the will to fight still burned in their eyes. Of those left, you were given to the lead orc—a hulking, muscular creature with sharp tusks and fiery eyes—and he chose you to warm his bed at night. You supposed that Orcish beauty standards were different from humans in one key way: the scars that marred your arms and legs had apparently made you more attractive to the Orc Lord, not less.
Unlike the human soldiers, the orcs treated you like you were fragile. You were allowed—encouraged, sometimes forced—to ride their wargs, and your bruised feet were bandaged, tended to, and eventually shod in soft but durable hide boots made from the rabbits they hunted for you to eat. You were kept wrapped in furs to keep out the cold, and the moment your lips showed any signs of turning blue in the storms, you were bundled up against your respective orcs to partake of their furnace-like body heat.
You never thought you’d prefer the company of orcs to men, but when you twist your ankle and your Orc Lord carries you to camp himself, you find that you would want it no other way.
In the springtime, when the snow finally begins to melt, he asks you for your name. You would have forgotten it if the other humans didn’t use it to address you at times, and you’re bemused when he asks for you to bestow it upon him. What does he care after all this time, you think uncharitably, and you’re forced to eat your words when he begins to use your name to call for you instead of simply calling you ‘my human’.
It feels… oddly domestic, to come back from gathering firewood and hear that bassy voice summoning you by your given name so that you can brush his hair as the hunt roasts over massive fires. You come to expect it as a greeting every morning when you rise from your furs, and every evening when he bids you to lay beside him and share his bed. He calls you by name when he bathes with you in the rivers you come across when the days are warm, and he calls you by name when he orders you to hide before battles with humans. It feels like a betrayal when you hope that he comes back to you alive, but then you reason that humans betrayed you first.
The day he doesn’t come back to you, you search the battlefield for his body with the others looking for their protectors among the fallen. You have no hope that you’ll find him in one piece, so you’re shocked by how ecstatic you feel when you find him alive, pinned to the ground by a massive spear through the gut. You have some sway with the other orcs by now, so you manage to get them to help you get him up, and then carry him all the way back to camp, where you and several other humans attempt to treat his wounds with all the resources that you have. It’s a rocky few nights, but he recovers with inhuman quickness, and he’s well enough to travel after only a week’s worth of rest.
After this, he calls you his, but he uses your name to do it.
Now, when you brush his hair, he speaks with you. He draws maps in the dirt and tells you where the horde will go, explaining his plans to roam and raid and where he’ll send you and the other humans to restock your human supplies by trading skins and the goods and coin you take from the humans they kill. You learn that the orcs weren’t originally hostile to humans a very long time ago, but that actions taken on both sides have distilled into the immediate hostility you see now on a daily basis. It seems so senseless to you now, with this big hulk of a man reclining between your knees, all but purring as you run your fingers through his long, dark hair.
Despite popular belief, grooming is very important to orcs. You learn this very early on when you break for camp near a stream and they all clamber in to wash away the blood and grime that’s built up on their skins. Long hours are spent with their humans at night tending to their hair and the decorations they place in their braids, or polishing their armour to prevent rust and any other detriment. Humans are usually only groomed when they’re heavy with an orc’s child, or for other reasons that mystify you until your orc finally decides to tuck you onto his lap and play with your hair.
Your hair is not nearly so thick as an orc’s, which he learns by accidentally snapping a few strands in his massive fingers and grunting something that sounds like a slightly flustered apology. You stifle your laughter when you realise that he’s embarrassed by his ignorance, so you speak softly and tell him how to groom a small, fragile human like you. It’s an experience for you both as he runs his fingertips through your hair, sweeping through it with a horsehair brush as though your scalp would shatter if he so much as touched it. You tell him he needn’t be so gentle, but he gruffly insists, carefully braiding your hair against your scalp in a very pretty and almost ornate style.
“It looks different when it’s on you,” he mutters, somewhere between awed and perplexed.
“How so?” you ask, tipping your head back to look into his eyes; they’ve always been striking shades of yellow and orange, but when he’s in front of a fire, they seem to glow.
“Smaller,” he says, tracing your plait with the tip of one clawed finger. “Softer, like the rest of you.”
“I resent that,” you chuckle, smiling up at him. You may not have been the thinnest of people when you joined, but months of hard travel have given you muscles where you didn’t even know muscles could grow. “I may not be an orc, but I’m hard enough where it counts.”
“Are you, now?” he asks, and you realise what you’ve said too late. You huff as he helps you up and takes you to your furs away from the rest of the group, tucked behind a lean-to for a modicum of privacy—not that anything could hide the noises you make when he takes you like an animal in heat.
This time, however, he undresses you with care. This time, he drops your clothing within arms’ reach instead of tossing it carelessly into the underbrush. This time, when you lay together, he lies on his back and looks up at you wonderingly, his massive hands helping to steady you on his lap. A thrill of power runs up your spine when you realise that he’s giving himself up to you in the only way a wild orc knows how—belly up, physically vulnerable, easy to kill, throat ripe for the cutting. You rock on his lap harder when his breathing starts to get heavy, watching his thick lashes flicker over his gemstone eyes as he gets closer to the edge.
Still, he holds you like you’re fragile. Even when you drag your blunt nails along his skin, even when you ride him hard enough to bruise, even when you bite him and he groans like a dying beast. It’s almost maddening, until it isn’t. Until he rolls you both over and grabs the nearest tree so as to keep from taking hold of you and breaking your bones to shards, bark splintering over you both as he pushes into you with reckless strength. The exquisite pain of it all brings tears to your eyes that linger after he’s tucked you against his chest and cuddled you up in the furs, his big hand covering your back and his tusks buried in your hair.
You’re in love, you realise as you drift off to sleep, and the next man who tried to take him from your arms would have hell to pay.
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starconsumer444 · 3 years
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hii i have a request if u would like to do it. it's basically a kind of yandere noncon tendou x reader where he stalks her so one day he follows her and ends up fucking her in the woods. with lots of degradation and face slapping maybe. sorry if this is too specific I just had a dream just like this and can't stop thinking abt it. if it makes u uncomfortable pls ignore. your writings are very enjoyable and good :) have a pretty day
The Monster in the Forest
Stalker!Tendou 18+
A/N: I had so much fun writing this so thanks for asking me to write this lololol!! Also, thank you for the compliments on my writing!!! I hope all is well with you anon!!
(CW/TW: Fem!Reader, Noncon/Rape, Stalking, Slapping, Trauma, This is pretty short and sweet so enjoy!!)
Tendou has been “watching” you for a while. You’re a lonely girl— that much he knows. For most people, such a discovery would be disheartening, but for Tendou it’s been exhilarating.
It started off innocent; as innocent as something like this could be, at least. You’re his coworker— quiet, direct, and pretty solitary. For those reasons, his interests in you was piqued. He couldn’t help but wonder what was going on with his pretty little coworker down at the chocolate shop. Needless to say, he followed you home one day and he finds out you live in a house that is basically nowhere. It’s right next to a forest; one of the creepy ones that kids would say they’ve seen monsters in. It’s innocent.
It’s nothing but innocent until he can’t stop himself from doing it. He has short conversations with you at work, but that’s just not enough, he wants more of you. He learns your routines by heart, and he participates in your life from a comfortable distance. On Monday you do this and on Tuesday you do that. It’s the same every week, your schedules are rigid and never change; you even take the same route home everyday. Some days he even leaves you anonymous letters on your door telling you everything he knows about you, how interesting it is inside your little bubble, and just how lovely you are to him. It’s playful, but he never stays to see you receive them.
His favorite days of yours are Saturdays. On Saturday you go out into the forest behind your house with your little basket and gather flowers to press. He thinks it's exhilarating; especially when he follows your lonely figure into that quiet little forest and watches you knowing you could catch him. Saturdays are the days he feels the most alive and aware of his own heartbeat.
Saturdays, for you, were ruined because of him. Most things were actually, after that fateful day— you no longer press flowers.
Seeing his face that day in the forest struck fear into your heart like you had seen a wild beast. His slow stalking toward you, his low tone, his perverted smile— all of it said he wanted to hurt you, no matter how familiar his face was. You vividly remember the feeling of the forest floor as he pinned your body to it and the fight you put up. You can remember his weight on top of you and the warmth of his body. You can recall his rough hands pulling down your shorts without a second thought as you gave up physically fighting him and his hands were all over you in ways you’d never even consider letting Tendou touch you.
Your shattered voice when he had let himself between your legs, “Tendou, stop!” and your hands pushing at his chest trying to tell him how much he was hurting you. Tears falling on either side of your face, and his hands coming down to strike your cheeks—to hurt you more than he already has— time and time again. Him telling you how dirty you were and how it’s your fault for being so easy to keep up with. All of it… the leaves, the dirt, the rocks dragging and leaving scratches against your back as you tried to brace against the harsh impact of his thrusts once you realized he wasn’t going to stop... it lives with you. You can still hear him calling you dumb for being so predictable, and all the stupid bitches that he called you as he pushed your face into the dirt below you. You can still feel his hands against your cheeks.
You remember the pain between your legs as you stumbled away from him and the site where he just violated you. You remember the fear that struck you a second time when you could hear him following behind you, but only to hand you your forgotten basket and kiss your temple as he wished to see you again at work come Monday.
The blood you saw when you got into the shower the first time as you sat down and cried was little, but still unbearable as you knew how it got there. The first shower that day you simply sat under the stream and cried. The second shower happened because you were sure you could still smell his rancid cologne on you. You did all you could to rid yourself of him, even reaching inside yourself to scoop out whatever parts of himself he had left in you. You remember scrubbing yourself under burning water like he would somehow know and it would spite him, like he would feel your skin burning and tearing under the pressure.
You stayed in bed for that entire month after deciding that the smell and memory of him would never go away. The only time you had even bothered to get up was when there was a pounding on your door for the sixth time that month, one that would not go away this time and wouldn't let you ignore it.
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phoebe-delia · 3 years
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could u write a drarry oneshot inspired by sweet creature of harry styles? :)
Hello Nonnie! I absolutely can. This is a great suggestion, I love this song for Drarry. I hope you enjoy it. Warnings: injury, drinking, attempted sexual assault that is VERY QUICKLY STOPPED and NOT H/D!!! Thank you to @apr1cots for the beta!
3 Times Harry Brought Draco Home...+1 Time Draco Brought Harry Home
1.
The first time, Harry found him in the cafe near their flat.
He sat down in the chair across from Draco, who glared at him over his cup of tea. "I thought I told you not to follow me."
"I waited three hours. I figured that would be enough time for you to come to your senses, but you didn't come back, so I got worried."
"I can handle myself, thanks."
"I know you can. But you didn't tell me where you went."
Draco's eyes flashed. "That was for a reason, you imbecile."
Harry shook his head. "Flatmates don't do that—disappear for three hours after a fight without saying where they’ve gone."
"I'm an adult. And you're not my father or my boyfriend, so back off."
"No, but I am your friend. And your flatmate. And I don't want to be worried sick for three hours when you fuck off to Merlin knows where because you're feeling pissy!" Harry snapped, letting his anger creep into his voice.
Draco sighed. He took a moment to sip his tea, and then he looked at Harry. "I'll tell you what. If we fight, and I don't return, send an owl, Floo or contact you in some way within six hours, you can send out a bloody search party."
Harry shook his head. “I will give you three hours.”
“Five”
“Three and a half.”
“Four and a half.”
“Four is my final offer.”
Draco scoffed. “Is that so? What are you going to do, show up with half the Auror department?”
Harry pursed his lips. “Not if I don’t have to. But I would.”
“No, you wouldn’t.”
“Care to find out?”
“You’re mental.”
“Maybe,” Harry shrugged. “Trouble is, I don’t care. Now, will you be here for a while, or are you coming home with me?”
“I suppose I'll go, but only since I've already finished my tea,” Draco said with another sigh, which Harry ignored as they both rose from their seats. While they walked to the Apparition point together, Harry replayed in his mind the flicker of emotion on Draco’s face when he said “home.”
2.
The second time, Harry’s glass nearly shattered in his hand from how firmly he was gripping it.
He ignored Hermione’s knowing gaze and Ron’s eye roll as he unabashedly stared daggers at the bloke practically groping Draco at the bar. Harry saw Draco’s eyes widen imperceptibly, noticed his smile falter and his cheekbone twitch.
Yes, he observed this from across the room. You get to know a bloke after living with him for almost a year; besides, Harry was very perceptive—constant vigilance and all that.
Speaking of being an Auror, Harry was pretty sure this prick was breaking some sort of public indecency laws by the way he was sliding his hand further and further up Draco’s leg. Draco gently pried the man’s hand from his thigh, only for the stranger to laugh and reach over again, gripping it even more firmly.
Harry didn’t think beyond getting up from his seat and striding toward the bar, quickening his pace when he saw Draco’s eyes widen in panic. He barely registered the look of horror on the stranger’s face when he grabbed the hand gripping Draco’s thigh and pinned the man face-down on the bar.
“He said no,” Harry said through clenched teeth, ignoring the man’s grunts and protests.
“We were just talking!” The man sputtered, his cheek pressed against the counter as he twisted and wriggled to get free.
Harry tightened his grip. “Conversation’s over. If I catch you trying to ‘talk’ to him again, I’ll make sure you have a nice chat with the Wizengamot about sexual assault. Now, apologize.”
“But—”
“Apologize!”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry.”
Harry smirked. “Good.” He released the man’s arm and let him right himself. The man froze, looking between Harry and Draco expectantly.
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Leave. Now.”
The man nodded, scurrying out of the now silent bar, the bell attached to the door tinkling behind him.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know.” Draco’s face was blank other than a raised eyebrow.
Harry shrugged. “Sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”
“No, I’m not. But I am glad you’re okay. You are, right? He didn’t hurt you?” Harry’s chest tightened at the suggestion.
But Draco shook his head. “No, I’m fine. But I think that’s my sign to head home.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“You don’t have to. I’m fine to Floo.”
“I want to.”
“What about your friends?”
Harry cringed and turned back to face the table to see Ron and Hermione looking at him, expressions full of nausea and amusement, respectively. He held up a hand in a small wave. Hermione shook her head and smiled fondly.
Harry grinned and turned back to Draco. “They’ll be alright without me. C’mon, let’s go home. I’ll make us some tea, yeah?”
Draco hesitated at first, but he nodded. And if Harry let his hand linger lightly on Draco’s back when they headed toward the Floo, they could both chalk it up to a safety measure.
3.
The door to Pansy Parkinson’s flat swung open before Harry could knock.
She took one look at him and rolled her eyes. “Could you have taken any longer to get here?”
Harry bristled. “I was—”
“Don’t care. Get in here, he’s on my couch.” She turned and walked away purposefully, and Harry trailed behind her.
“I thought you two were just going for drinks?”
Pansy sighed. “We were, but then we came back here for a few more, and he got into my tequila when my back was turned.” She shook her head. “Tequila is his one weakness—well,” she smirked. “One of them, anyway.”
Harry furrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth to respond when a shout sounded from the living room.
He looked over to see Draco sprawled across the couch, an empty glass in one hand and the other nearly touching the floor, his leather-clad legs spread wide.
Draco grinned at Harry. “Harrryyy!!! Come to join the party?”
“He’s come to end it, more like,” Pansy crossed her arms. “It’s time for you to go home, love.”
Draco let out a high, keening whine and burrowed himself further into the couch. “Don’ wanna. Tired. Stay here.”
“No, Draco, we’ve got to go home,” Harry walked up to the couch. His breath caught when gray eyes blinked wide and pleadingly up at him.
Draco held out his arms. “Up.”
“Er, what?”
Draco jerked his arms up and down, keeping them in the air. “Up! Help me up, you great oaf!”
Harry sighed and bent down, taking Draco in his arms and nearly stumbling when the blond let his body weight fall into him.
Draco smirked lazily. “Oops,” he said with a grin in his voice. “Guess you gotta carry me.”
Harry scoffed, looking to Pansy for appeal.
She waved a hand dismissively. “He’s your problem, now. Just get him out of my flat and back home intact, will you?” She didn’t wait for him to respond, walking away into another room.
Harry sighed. He wasn’t sure about the safety of Apparating or taking the Floo with someone in your arms, and the twists and turns of the Knight Bus could make a sober person sick up. With a grunt, he hoisted Draco up and into his arms bridal style, and the other man yelped and then giggled wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck.
“Home,” Draco said softly, and affection spread through Harry’s chest.
“Okay, Draco,” Harry whispered as they made their way out of the flat. “I’ve got you.”
+1.
Harry woke to the sound of muffled voices shouting at each other and the constant beep of a monitor.
He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, wincing as a sharp pain exploded in his side with the effort. Memories came rushing back: the raid, turning his back for a split second to shout something at Ron, blinding pain, then darkness. He tried to sit up in the hospital bed, but he let himself lie back down when his side throbbed once more.
Suddenly, the door was opened and then promptly slammed shut. “Honestly, the nerve of these people. If he needs bed rest, then where is better than his own bed? Is my Healer degree rendered meaningless the moment I’m off the clock?” Draco muttered, running a hand through his hair as he paced the room angrily.
“Draco?”
Draco jumped and turned to Harry with wild, startled eyes that made Harry laugh, and then wince in pain.
“You’re awake, thank Merlin,” Draco approached the side of the bed, relief replacing the shock on his face.
“How long have I been out?”
“Two days. You were hit with a rare curse that caused an ever-bleeding wound in your side, and the healers had to put you in a magically induced coma to reverse it.”
“That sounds good. Do Robards and—”
“Yes, Ron gave Robards the full briefing. You’re not expected in the office until a Healer permits it.”
“So, can I go home?”
“Yes, now that you’re awake, you can go home. I’ll monitor you from there.”
Harry frowned. “You don’t have to.”
Draco let out a short, humorless chuckle. “You were in a coma for two days, Harry. The only reason they’re discharging you is that you’re going home with a Healer.”
“But you don’t actually have to stay and watch me all day, right?”
“What part of ‘I’ll monitor you from there’ don’t you understand?”
“But I’m fi-!” The last word was cut off as Harry hissed through another spark of pain.
“Fine, are you?”
“Shut up.”
Draco smirked. “Not likely.”
Harry scowled, eliciting a real laugh from Draco, who moved to sit on the edge of the bed.
“Flatmates don’t do this, y’know.”
Draco’s eyebrows furrowed. “What?”
“Take several days off of work to care for the other when they’re injured. I’m not even sure friends do that.”
Harry noticed Draco’s jaw tighten. He ached to reach up and relax it with a gentle touch, but he kept his hand at his side.
“What are you saying, Harry?” Draco asked, his voice low and even.
“I’ll tell you what,” Harry swallowed. “I won’t argue about you wasting days away from work if you let me take you to dinner when I’ve recovered.”
The beginning of a smile curved Draco’s lips. “And what will we do in the meantime?”
Harry waggled his eyebrows. “I can think of a few ways to pass the time.”
Draco chuckled. “If you think I’m missing work just so you wind up back in here because you restarted bleeding during sex, you’ve another thing coming.”
Harry pouted halfheartedly. “Apparently I won’t be coming at all.”
Draco mimicked his petulant frown. “Aww, ickle Harry, being waited on for days by his flatmate-turned-boyfriend.”
“I’ll tell you what—”
“Didn’t we already make a deal?”
“I’ll tell you what: I won’t argue about you missing work or not having sex until I’m recovered if you let me take you to dinner once I’m healed and if we can snog as much as we like.”
"What makes you think I’ll agree to those terms?”
Harry shrugged. “If you don’t like those terms, I can come up with more. Now that I’m on bed rest, I’ve got plenty of time to think.”
“You’re not supposed to strain yourself,” Draco smirked when Harry glared at him.
Harry huffed. “You need to work on your bedside manner, Healer Malfoy.”
“I’ll get plenty of practice this week, then, won’t I?”
“Yes, you will. Now, can we get out of here? I want to start my healing regimen right away.”
Draco laughed and laced their fingers together. “Alright, Harry. Let’s go home.”
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bonktime · 3 years
Text
Take a Breath
Ezra (Prospect) x AFAB!reader Oneshot (no use of y/n)
Masterlist
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Rated: Explicit
Summary: Your ship has crashed on a planet with low oxygen. With no other options you begin a tenuous partnership with a strange prospector in need of your help fixing his pod. He’s charming but dangerous and if he finds out the whole truth about you, you’ll probably end up dead. With trouble closing in from all sides, you navigate this new connection and hope you both survive in one piece.
Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of violence, blood and death, mentions of religion, sexual harassment (just a couple comments), me having no clue what asphyxiating is actually like, Two has a clear helmet for plot reasons, smut: unprotected PinV sex (there’s no STDs in space), cunnilingus, dom/sub elements, rough sex, size kink, choking (just a little), spitting, praise kink (this one surprised me), biting, a little dirty talk (it is Ezra) - let me know if I’ve missed anything!
Note: I was totally inspired to create this by @jura-moon​ ‘s fic Nostromo which lives in my head and without it, this never would have been written. I have used some of her story beats and ideas so absolute credit goes to her for that. This is sort of a fanfic of Nostromo in many ways 💘 I’d also like to throw thanks at @absurdthirst who reawakened my love of fics, @slater-baby who awoke something in me specifically, and especially to @danniburgh who not only deals with my damn near weekly requests for softness but who also got me to stop editing at 1am whilst drinking tequila. She did us all a favour, let’s be honest.
I hope everyone enjoys this behemoth. Don’t forget to reblog!
Wordcount: 22k
~~~~~~~~
It's not the worst planet to crash on.
The thought is so ridiculous you'd laugh if it wasn't for the blaring alarms and the screaming. Instead, you wrestle into the pilot’s seat and strap in. With the engine dead you'll have to manually time releasing the parachute. It's completely insane. Too early and the parachute burns, you crash into the ground and die. Too late and the parachute doesn't catch you, you crash into the ground and die. Provided you do survive you've at least got your suit on, oxygen tank attached, you'll be able to breath. The planet's oxygen is too low to survive for longer than two hours alone but it'll aid the tank and give you two days, three if you're careful, to get more. At least it isn't poisonous.
Thoughts all over the place you wonder where the other ship will fall. Hopefully close enough you can still make use of it. Hopefully they've got a good pilot.
You've been lucky this far, now all you can do is hope your luck holds. You break atmosphere flames blurring the view of the planet and then it's rushing to meet you. You start counting, watching it come closer, closer. You see the other ship careen away from you.
“Fuck!” Someone behind you shouts “Pull the damn lever are you trying to kill us all?!”
You ignore them, don't lose count. Ok
Three… two… one…
You close your eyes and pull.
You don't open your eyes.
No. For the first time in years. You pray.
⧫⧫⧫
Pain is the first thing you register, across your chest aches like, well, like you've just crashed a ship. The next is the smell, smoke, that can't be good, it's not entirely unpleasant though. Then the noise, someone's shouting in your ear telling you to get up, to move, they swear and leave you dangling upside down, still strapped into the pilots’ seat. Oh, that's why your chest hurts, ok, you think to yourself, you’re alive. You need to move. You need to open your eyes.
You do.
Lights are flashing, disorientating you more than your current position, blood rushing to your head. You reach up and press the release on the seat belt and drop to the floor, or maybe the ceiling, head first. Didn't think that one through you chastise yourself.  The engine is on fire, filling the hull with smoke but your legs are numb so, seizing your pack where it’s fallen beside you, you crawl to the light you think is the door and to your relief, flop outside.
No one notices you. They're all looking away, throwers out and pointed into the dead trees you sit back against the ship still reeling from the crash, too slow to realise how absolutely fucked you are. They come out the trees fast, even with spears and blades, you watch as the crew falls one by one. You can't process what you're seeing, frozen in place. Blood splatters, coming down like rain around you. Too late your body reacts and you stumble to your feet and run.
You get out of sight and then you stop, panting. Every breath aches your chest.
Something's wrong. Something you're not seeing. Right before your eyes. What is it?!
It hits you, slowly like a wave, realisation and then panic. You reach up slowly and touch your head. Gloves come away wet and dark with your blood.
Your helmet is shattered.
You aren't sure if you're crying or blood is dripping into your eyes. You suspect the blood. Feeling numb you keep moving, one foot in front of the other vaguely glancing down at the dial on your arm. After the running you'll be unconscious in at best an hour and a half, dead a little after that.
The petrified forest seems to close in around you. It’s a stillness like you’ve never experienced. Trees tower above you, skeletal branches reaching up like fingers. The limbs cast dark shadows in the bright sun, crossing over the dry brush underfoot, hiding foot falls and branches to trip on.
You walk on.
⧫⧫⧫
15 minutes left.
You decide to find a place to sit, ideally somewhere with a view but you can't me picky. A fallen tree does the job and you pull off the remainder of your helmet. Trying not to think about your imminent demise you look up. The suns are low, three of them. It twinges in your chest that you'll never go home, never see that sky again. Left to rot alone, no one who knows your traditions to perform your rites. Not that you deserve them. If you're going to put the ring back on, now would be the time. Make penance, but you don't think you can. Perhaps the hundred years wait is what you deserve.
7 minutes left.
There's someone approaching. Silhouetted against the scorching red sky, the heat rising from the ground distorting them, making you wonder if you’re hallucinating. The only clue they’re real is the crunch of the ground beneath their feet, but even that seems to echo around you.
Hope is the thing with feathers and it just flaps a wing wearily in your chest. And then stutters. The sun glints off their pistol, a beautiful sparkle that dims your hope. You do what you're good at, grab your own and shoot first. His gun flies from his hand and you smile, at least your aim is true. It falls off your face as quickly as it appears though as you feel a barrel press into your skull.
Clever buggers divided and conquered.
You drop your thrower but whoever it is doesn't lower theirs. “A little creature all alone,” a low voice drawls, “No helmet? No breath? What will we do with you?”
Staring straight at the man in front as he picks up your pistol and glares at you, you respond. “If we are going to chat, can we do it wherever your pod is? I have quite a story but I'll be dead in…” you look down at your dial, the gun increases its pressure on your skull as you try to suppress the panic “In about 5 minutes” the man remains silent, his pistol staying pressed into your skull. Your mind races, trying to find a way to argue your survival and clutches at the one thing you have. “I chose not to kill your friend when I could have done. Can you at least hear me out?”
The man behind you clicks his tongue “Ok! Well, I'm certainly intrigued and I'm sure even my partner here can't disapprove of allowing you to argue your case.” The comment seems pointed like he'll definitely disagree but even as you see his mouth twist he stays silent. “On your feet creature I'm not inclined to lug you back myself.” Standing the man lowers the thrower into your back and gently pushes you forward.
Their pod is close but you're feeling dizzier by the second and don't even think to protest when, as soon as you're in and the doors shut, the man at your back ties your hands behind you.
Focusing on him as he moves in front of you and pulls off his helmet you notice he’s favouring one arm and despite his sharp brown eyes, he looks feverish and drained. Not paying it much thought, you breathe deeply feeling sharper but it only draws your attention back to the pain in your body. Kevva you're tired. The urge to lie down and rest is near overwhelming, but the one who talks is eyeing you coldly for weakness, you’re no use if you can’t even stand.
Still, you try to get your bearings. The pod is small and rectangular, they haven’t turned the lights on and the looming shadows seem to pull in the walls, making your saviours into giants, making you feel like you’re pledging your case to The Olympians. There’s a small bench with a couple chairs next to a tiny stove and sink, there’s only one cot up against the wall, opposite what could be a cupboard but your eyes can’t make it out in the dim light.
“Now then creature, it's not every day we come across such a little thing with no air on this breathless planet and certainly not one who can shoot so damn straight!” The chuckles “I am just fascinated to know how you got into this predicament.”
You nod thinking carefully about your words. “We were a prospecting crew,” that's definitely a lie, “I'm an engineer but I know how to dig.” Well that's true at least, “Our ship fell of orbit but I managed to deploy the chutes in time so we didn't die on impact but…” you close your eyes as the images of the blood flashes before you.
“Let me guess your theatrical entrance gathered a welcoming party?”
“Something like that, I didn't realise my helmet had broken right away, I managed to run… I think everyone else is dead.” In a way you hope they are, else you really are in trouble.
The man is grinning at you, showing his teeth but the calculating gaze doesn’t falter “An engineer I'll be damned! And you can dig too? This is my lucky day. We happen to be in need of an engineer. See, our little pod has seen some better days and now it is unwilling to fly. Say, if you can fix it up and help us dig a smidgen, save us some time, we'll give you a lift out when the time comes? Quid pro quo”
An unwanted thought strikes you, settling deep in your stomach like a stone. “That sounds like a great deal but I won't be able to help you, not unless you supply me with a helmet.”
With that the other man seems to reach the end of his patience. And he moves gesturing at the talker.
“Now then, it just doesn't seem right to let such a pretty little thing suffocate on this rock... Well, I can't argue with that I suppose… I do apologise, little creature, I find myself, however unwittingly, agreeing with my partner. If you can’t help us then I can find no reasonable excuse to waste our resources on you. Looks like the deals off” he sighs “This is disappointing, I had such high hopes for our association.” With a shrug he pats your shoulder in sympathy that doesn’t meet his eyes. You shouldn't have hoped, your lucks all spent.
You take a deep breath, mind racing to find a way to survive, “Untie my hands at least, I'd appreciate some dignity as I walk to meet my maker.” You glance at your pack on the floor, you won’t need it now.
He pauses for a second, seeming to size you up before nodding and turning you around to face the door. In the reflection of the glass, you see the profile of his sharp features as he looks back, “Now then two, surely you can do the creature the quick the justice of a shot rather than a slow suffocation… Right good.” He cuts your hands loose and instantly the other man is there pressing his thrower into your back. You walk together, back into the waste.
There's only one way you're getting out of this so you close your eyes for a second and pause. He shoves you, lifting his gun to the back of your head. You take a breath and act.
Bending forwards and shoving your elbow up into his arm so the shot goes over your head, you spin knocking the gun aside and grab the small switchblade concealed in your pocket. He should have searched you. You don't hesitate as you stab him in the heart, following him to the ground and wrenching his helmet off. You close your eyes as the light leaves his.
Shaking off the nausea clamouring at you, you pull out the blade blanching as it sprays blood across you. You wipe it clean before stowing it away and then swipe a hand across your face, there’s no way to tell whether the deep red that rubs off on your hand is his or yours, or someone else’s. Feelin around in your pockets for a coin, you suppose the least you can do is pay his boatman so you place the coin under his tongue. You don’t pray. The dead don’t need it.
Ezra watches as you perform this strange ritual, he had to admit that he's captivated. Perhaps his wound has rotted so much he's delirious, finally driven mad by the toxins. Perhaps that was why he agreed to free your hands, why he didn’t check you for a blade. He considers you as he watches, so determined to stay alive.
You pull off the man's suit grateful he's small, even if it'll still swamp you, and grab his helmet. Stripping your own suit quickly you ignore the bandages on your forearm and pull his on. The fit isn't bad, it still seals around your wrists and ankles but it’s loose at your neck. You've got 12 minutes before you pass out unless you fix the hole your own knife made and get a tank of oxygen.
You look at the pod, the other man is watching you. Brown eyes piercing yours as if looking into your soul. It's him or nothing. You've got to try.
You approach the pod carrying your suit. Looking through the glass in the door and you gesture a setting for your radio, there’s a click followed by his harsh breathing.
“That was not especially kind, little creature. I certainly underestimated your ferociousness”
You shrug, “It was him or me.”
“What makes your existence so exponentially more important than his d’you think?”
You frown, “I didn't decide that it did, the powers that be choose. I did bring a knife to a gunfight” He smiles slightly and lets out a little chuckle.
Ezra watches you carefully, you look so tired, so small as you lean against the door of the pod his feverish brain seems to be attempting to soften a long-hardened heart. Still, he's not an idiot. “I'm afraid letting you in may be a detriment to my state of being, creature, you are indeed viscous and I'm not inclined to trust someone that murdered my acquaintance with so little hesitation.” He watches your eyes closed and for a second you look so hopeless but when they open, they've hardened.
“I could simply pull apart your pod from the outside, make sure you suffocate with me!” The last words come out in a shout of frustration. You bang your hand against the glass window of the door.
He glares at you, his voice low and menacing “I do not take lightly to threats, creature.”
This day’s too long, too hard, you've done too much. How many deaths? You realise that you can't kill someone for, sensibly, not letting you in. You laugh “I feel like the wolf at your door,” you sigh god your head hurts “There's no point!” you gesture, “Killing you would do nothing but damn me further I won't kill you out of spite. Fuck!” You glance and the dial on your arm,
6 minutes.
You turn away and sit, suit back against the door. It's as nice a spot as any. “I will choose to die here though I think, just as a reminder that you killed me when I fall through the next time you head out”
You chuckle at the macabre thought then turn off your radio and pull off the helmet.
3 minutes.
The final sun is setting, this really is Apollo's world and it is beautiful. The orange sky outlines the forest’s hands like an oil painting waving you off. Not a bad place to go at all.
2 minutes.
At least it's quiet.
1 minute.
Black spots are filling your vision, blurring out the beauty. Rude you think to yourself and you let out a delirious giggle.
The door behind you slides open and a strong hand grabs the back of the suite as you flop back, hauling you in, snagging the helmet and sealing the door. You don’t move, staring at the ceiling for a second breathing deeply.
Ezra drops heavily down onto the cot and watches you, you're quite something up close even covered in another's blood and your own, you're beautiful. He imagines this is what a witch would look like after a ritual, all blood and magic and secrets.
You open your eyes and peer up at him. “What changed your mind?”
He grins “Call it a reckless curiosity fuelled by this festering limb of mine.” He gestures to his arm.
It’s your turn to size him up, he seems to be looking worse by the minute and now slumped against the wall, you could probably just kill him and take what you need. Maybe you would if he hadn’t let you in. “Perhaps I can patch it up, I've got steady hands and too much experience with wounds from weapons” you struggle into a seated position with a grunt as pain flashes.
“You might as well have a gander, I'm afraid if left to my own devices I'll have to saw the thing off myself or else perish” He frowns down at his twitching fingers, “I do believe this may be my lowest point, little creature. I invite in trouble and then ask it for help? I have certainly had preferable days, for instance, when the ship I was presiding upon became infested with channel rats seems superior to today.”
You hum in reply not really paying attention as he continues to talk. Reaching for your pack, you pull out a pretty well stocked surgery kit.  “I'll numb it as best I can but it's not much”
“Anything that alleviates this agony will be a blessing little creature” You raise an eyebrow at him in acknowledgment, clearly doubting it as you hand him a tablet which he swallows. He pulls off his shirt and you examine the wound trying not to stare at his strong arms and broad chest. It’s a couple days old and badly infected, you’ll have to get out the rot before you can think of sealing it.
“Lie back” you tell him
“Perhaps in another situation your choice of language would be quite desirable” he smirks at you, not succeeding in disguising the worry in his face.
You sigh at the comment “Scream all you need but don't move”
That makes him chuckle, “You're a siren luring me in to slay me, aren't you?” His jaw clenches as you start cutting away the rotted flesh. It is slow work, carefully taking as little pink away as possible. To his credit he doesn't move a muscle and you know it must be agony. He talks the entire time, telling the tale of how he got himself shot in such a long-winded way you can’t tell the truth from the fiction. It seems to give him distraction though, so you don’t ask if he’s lying. As you close the wound with foam, he smiles at you, softer than before.
“Names Ezra, by the way.” Then he passes out.
He’s rather strange you decide, but most prospectors are. You’ve got to be a bit odd to spend your days nearly isolated on hostile planets. Asleep he looks peaceful, none of the calculating gaze or darkness. That little patch of blonde is so distinctive, you find yourself almost hypnotised by his face. Frowning at yourself you move away and sit back against the other side of the pod facing the cot.
A few things left to do with him unconscious, you pull off the stolen suit and grab the patch gun from your pack, melting it closed. You pull it back on and holster your pistol. Sitting back, you take a pill from your med kit to ease the pain in your chest and let it pull you into sleep.
Unsurprisingly, you wake before him. You check he's alive then pack your stuff together. You're even, you suppose. He saved your life. You saved his (or at least his arm) and you'd rather not stay around to find out if, when less fevered, he decides to get more even with you for killing his partner. He did give you his name though and names are powerful things so you pull out your notebook and leave a note as you grab an oxygen tank.
You glance behind you as the door seals behind you but you don’t turn back. If you head towards the ship your crew had brought down yesterday, it should have an escape pod still on it. Hopefully you can fix it up if needs be. You follow your compass East.
⧫⧫⧫
Ezra wakes slowly, he hasn't slept so deeply in years, he feels comfortable if a little cold and slowly he opens his eyes. The previous day returns to him in a haze, a pretty face and bright eyes glaring through the door, a gesture to old gods, his arm…
He looks down and moves his fingers. It's good, remarkably so, still stiff and aching but whatever you’d given him seems to have hurried his healing. That stuffs expensive. Not the sort of thing a prospector would usually have and certainly not something they'd share. You were quite strange, he concludes, but fascinating. Why on earth would someone who could act so brutally for their own survival give him something so valuable? Sure, he let you in but you certainly hadn't needed to let him know you had such a thing in your possession. He supposed guilt over his partner, perhaps you were truly naïve or, bizarrely, you could have money. Which would create a more baffling question of just how you ended up here.
It doesn't occur to Ezra for a moment the other reason, until he looks around the pod to find you gone along with a portable oxygen canister leaving a bit of paper in its place. Things stolen hold less value.
The paper was clearly torn from a notebook on it, it simply said your name.
He curses pulling on his suit and following your tracks into the forest. The trail is light but visible, branches broken where you’d passed, dry brush crushed under your feet. He moves quickly, sure of his footing after spending so much time navigating the dead forest. He’s only travelled about a mile before he can hear you moving ahead.
⧫⧫⧫
You walk through the trees, one sun shining above you warming your bones. As you check your direction you pause. A twig snaps and you freeze listening carefully. There's another noise behind you and you spin tensing. You can't see anything or anyone as you peer around you, the forest is too dense.
A body crashes into you from behind flinging you into the ground, looping something around your neck. Your head ricochets off the inside of your helmet shaking your brain, opening the cut again but not breaking the glass. You try to lurch up but get nowhere so you roll into your back with them now beneath you but the cord around your neck holds you back. Choking, you catch your fingers in it so you can breathe and pull forwards, hard, rolling again and thrusting your helmet back into theirs, loosening their grip enough so you can pull the cord away, only for them to shove you head down into the ground.
The world is swimming now, wobbling around you as you try to get your body to listen to you. To get away. To fight back. Anything! But their weight on your back prevents you from moving. You try to look out of the corner of your eye to see your opponent but get nothing. It surprises you when a tear tracks down your face. You suppose you have been putting off the inevitable for days now, Kevva has called you back.
Whoever it is clicks on your radio and a familiar voice hisses, “You stupid fucking cunt, I'm bringing you to hell with-“ A shot rings out and the body slumps on top of you, you lift yourself up and shove it off sitting up on your haunches looking around for the shooter.
It's him, Ezra, gun still trained on you. He watches you halt, eyes wide.
“You took something of mine, and although usually I don't go out of my way to find trouble, which you little creature certainly are. I awoke to find myself abandoned and a little peeved to discover that you had liberated a couple of my possessions and shimmied out of part of our prior agreement.”
Your heads still spinning and with the blood trickling into your eye you find it immensely difficult to focus on what he is saying. “Prior agreement?”
“Yes indeed. You'll find you had affirmed in exchange for breath you would fix up my little ship so when the time comes, I may leave this barely liveable planet. I do not appreciate reneging”
You squeeze your eyes shut.
“On your feet creature,” he approaches, “I find myself growing impatient.” You stand and instantly stumble forward. He grabs onto your shoulder steadying you, his other hand darting out before you can relax and snagging your thrower from its holster. “I underestimated you once, I will not again. Now, your assailant seemed to know you, if I'm not mistaken, by the way they deemed to remark upon you. Pray tell me the tale?”
Looking at him you do feel a lot like prey. He's close, grip still firm on your shoulder and towering over you. A grin showing all his teeth like a wolf, all you would need is a red cloak and you’re dinner.
You glance down at the body and clench your jaw, it was Cora. Formally, a member of your crew, she had always distrusted you. Rightfully so, you think to yourself.
Steadying yourself you shrug off Ezra's grip, ignoring the gun still aimed at you and kneel down to pull off her helmet. Taking a coin from your pocket you place it under her tongue and look back up at him, the helmet still in your grasp. He's watching you curiously, seeming to be rolling words around in his mouth as if completely thrown by your behaviour.
“She was part of my crew, I was the engineer so the crash was my fault,” well that was definitely true.
Ezra chuckles darkly, “I'm not too sure I want you to repair my ship after all, creature. Your predilection for incident does appear wearisome.”
You tilt your head up at him, “See any other engineers around here?”
“I suppose you'll have to do, but I will be watching you mighty closely little bird, in case you decide to take flight again.” You frown at the new nickname but don't get a chance to argue as you both hear a horn a little way off. “Unfortunately, my shot appears to have alerted the ever-irritable locals to our location.” He grabs your arms and hauls you back to your feet pulling you along with him as he walks back the way you had come, Cora’s helmet still clasped in your hand. “Luckily the settlers are not quick on their feet, I must say.”
You can't think of a response, your head is still reeling and your feet feel like lead as you trudge after him, his hand gripping firmly onto your wrist.
You're grateful you hadn't travelled far when he tugs you into the pod. Closing the door and turning, Ezra finds you slumping down to sit on the floor ripping off your helmet and attempting to wipe the blood out of your eye. It feels a little voyeuristic as he watches you tug off the suit soaked with his partner's blood, revealing the black insulating vest and leggings beneath before flopping back eyes closed for a moment. You feel his stare and pointedly ignore it as you grab your own suit, abandoned the day before, and shimmy into it. Cora had the same suit and so her helmet will fit yours. You feel a little relief at no longer having to wear the blood of someone you'd killed, not to mention more secure in something that fits.
Glancing up at Ezra as you transfer your possessions between pockets yet again you see he's elected to tie his suit up around his waist revealing those damn arms again. He crouches down in front of you and gently grasps your chin to tilt your head up at him. “That's quite the cut you've got there little bird.”
He carefully watches your face but your head is still fuzzy so with no retort he moves away from you and picks up your med kit. He cleans your wound gently, wiping the dried blood off your face. As he does, you study him. Close up you can see the wrinkles around his eyes from when he smiles and the curved scar on his cheek. Fighting off the impulse to trace your fingers over it, you ask how he got it. He grins as he places a plaster on your head “Now that’s quite a story” but you don’t get to hear it yet, sounds outside means the settlers have found the pod.
“They'll leave provided they don't know we're here” He grumbles, tugging you into the cupboard running along the wall.
It’s slim but long inside, there are blankets on the floor, a lantern and a small stack of tattered books. “Do you sleep in a cupboard?” you have to ask but you do your best to keep the incredulity out of your tone.
“I'd rather you didn't insult my little burrow as a guest, there's only one cot in this pod and I lost the wager so I made do. I think you’ll find it’s rather cosy”
You nod, a little thrown by his change in attitude since being in the forest. As you both sit you watch his face in the golden light of the lamp. It makes him appear to glow, almost like a painting. He'd look almost relaxed if it wasn't for how his eyes were watching you carefully.
Ezra studies your features, if you hadn't been such a bringer of chaos, he'd think he'd made you up, that, or Kevva had reached into his head and plucked you out. You're just perfect, perhaps anything his own mind could come up with would have to come with chaos, there was no fun without it.
The quiet moment is disrupted by a bang on the side of the pod, you jump and Ezra tenses slightly but seems to be expecting it. “They're trying to frighten out anyone inside” he whispers, “If we stay quiet and hidden, we'll be just fine”
You nod and tilt your head back against the wall trying to block out the noise as Ezra reaches for the book at the top of his stack. You read the title ‘Perfume’, you haven't heard of it but judging by the battered pages and writing in the margins Ezra knows it intimately. He glances at you. “It is a tale of a man who gets so enraptured with the scent of a woman he endeavours to turn her essence into perfume.”
You hum in response “That sounds a little morbid.”
Reaching into your bag you pull out a similarly dog-eared copy of ‘The Power’ and do your best to ignore the man opposite you.
Ezra frowns at his book. It's not often a good read fails to pull him into its world but something about your presence has driven him to distraction. Instead, he closes the book and continues to study you, it's a nice change having a stranger in such close quarters. You're frowning at your book a little furrow in your brow he finds endearing. It's only then he notices you're shaking. He wonders if it's from the death of your friend, from the settlers’ insistent pounding on the side of the pod or from him. He supposes it's quite scary to be trapped in a small space with someone twice your size and he hasn't exactly been kind to you. Ezra frowns to himself, not that you've given him a reason to act kindly. You will be useful to each other but there's no point making friends on such rough terms.
You look up meeting his eye as he glowers at you and swiftly glance away, trying to take up as little space as possible.
“You said you came to prospect?” he murmurs to you. You look back at him, wide eyed, and nod. “Good, you can help me finish me dig, 60/40 split, since you so callously divested me of my partner.”
You nod “You ridded me of mine too. Looks like we're even again. Equal split.” He’s tempted to laugh at your boldness, negotiating with no leverage. He keeps his face stern, unwilling to let you know how much he is enjoying your spark.
“I don't think so.” he speaks lowly making you tense, “I will permit that without you my arm would be about as useful as stim gum is at staving off hunger. And at least to me my arm is equal to a partner.” He tilts his head at you, the light cutting plains across his skin, “Even so… we still aren't even. That’s twice I saved your troublesome arse. One could suggest you’re indebted to me.”
To his surprise you nod, even as your jaw clenches and he watches you swallow “I guess I'll have to make it up to you another way. Even split or I don’t dig” That breaks him, he can’t hold in his grin at your fearlessness. He strongly suspects you’ve had an abundance of practice getting what you're owed from characters more unscrupulous than himself. He frowns at that, even hardened prospectors treat him warily, there must be something else to you. He agrees though, more out of curiosity than necessity.
“Even split it is then.”
⧫⧫⧫
You both agree there's no point going out to dig with the settlers so close but after the noise has subsided Ezra looks you over and suggests you shower. You don't tell him what a gift that is but he sees how your eyes light up at the prospect of washing off the past days’ grime. He hands you a towel and as the water starts running, he distracts himself from picturing you naked by satisfying some of his inquisitiveness and going through your pack.
There's not much of interest. Your med kit, some protein bars, instant caf, ammunition but in the front pocket he finds an old ring. Round like a signet but instead of a family emblem it is simply a small coin, plated in gold. He studies it, it's roughly hewn, well-made but not particularly fine. He wonders if you stole this too, but it isn't flashy and everything else you've taken had been useful so he posits it is yours, but why don't you wear it? Frowning he puts it back as he spots a notebook, worn and well-loved but as he reaches for it the water shuts off and he leaves your pack, choosing to get nourishment for you both before you sleep.
You emerge dressed just in your leggings and vest, Ezra gestures to the seat noticing the bandage on your arm. “What did you do that your mystical little tablets cannot heal?”
You finger the material absentmindedly, “Oh it's an old wound I keep reopening, better to keep it covered to prevent infection.”
He peers at you clearly unconvinced but he doesn’t question you further, you avoid his eyes looking at the floor as he sticks some food in front of you. “Eat up little creature, we've hard work to do tomorrow and we'll need our energy.”
You take a mouthful before asking, “Where will we sleep?”
“Better we stay out of sight in case our hospitable friends return, so back into the burrow. And I'd rather keep you close in case you start to feel flighty again” You sigh but to his surprise don't argue, perhaps the settlers really did shake you.
Ezra returns to studying you as you both eat, without your suit on he can see the harsh bruises around your neck where your former friend had tried to strangle you but the gash through your eyebrow has stopped bleeding and fresh from the shower, you're quite the vision. It has been so long since he'd had another body to warm his bed and you look so soft and vulnerable without the suit and imminent danger, he finds himself picturing you under him, writhing, brow furrowed like before. His hands grabbing your arms, your hips, your neck- He shakes himself of the image. Your partnership is tenuous at best without bringing in the pleasures of the flesh and he doesn't really want to scare you off potentially leaving him alone and trapped on this world.
When you've eaten you head into Ezra's ‘burrow’ as he called it and settle opposite each other, legs stretched out in front, feet almost touching. Ezra is next to the door ensuring you can't leave without waking him but you're not inclined to try, you know your luck is running out. You're grateful he doesn't try to scare you into staying, instead curiously he picks up his book and looks at you. 
“I propose an exchange, it appears we are both almost prepared to recite our beloved tomes cover to cover, so, would you acquiesce your book for mine?”
You shrug, “I wouldn't mind something new but I'm not sure how much you'd enjoy ‘The Power’ and I have nothing else.”
He smiles his eyes crinkling with amusement, “Well then, read me the blurb and let me decide for myself. It seems only I would know what I may delight in.”
“It's about how women become the dominant gender in the world, told by a man in the future where a male dominated society seems absurd.”
Ezra grins, “I am intrigued! It'll be a joy to discuss books with another person, a pleasure I can rarely partake in”
You smile back as you swap books. A tentative exchange that leaves you both a little hopeful for the progress of your partnership.
You both read in silence until you yawn twice in a row causing Ezra to yawn too and he suggests you turn in. Or you guess he does, his choice of language seems to baffle you here and there. He wrangles a blanket out from under you and you settle in, top to tail, his feet level with your chest and yours to below his hip. You didn't realise how the adrenaline of the day had worn you out and you're asleep in seconds. 
You awake on your front, head nestled into your arm. It's pitch black and there's a weight on your ankle. Trying not to panic you wait for your eyes to adjust and peer over your shoulder to see what's grabbed you. It's Ezra.
Asleep on his back one hand on his stomach where the blankets had been shoved down and his under shirt had risen revealing a strip of tan skin glowing in the low light. You try not to focus on that. His other hand, by his side wrapping nearly all the way around your ankle. You wonder if he grabbed you awake to stop you trying to escape or if unconscious, he simply wanted to keep your warm body close, that idea makes you feel a little soft, this is easily the gentlest he's touched you apart from patching your head. You debate if you should shake him off but you don't want to wake him and his warm hand is anchoring so you just put your head back down on your arms and go back to sleep.
⧫⧫⧫
Ezra had his sleeping pattern nailed down, a necessary thing for a prospector, usually out cold for 7 hours so he's surprised when he startles awake. He doesn't usually dream. He grasps at the threads of images his mind had conjured committing them to memory. It was about you and it was enough to make him flush and now as he rouses himself, he gently detaches his hand from your ankle unsure about when he grabbed it. It's still early, he looks over you asleep on your stomach breathing slowly. He sighs adjusting himself in his pants if he can't get these images of his head, he's going to have an even more difficult time working with you than he already will. Desire is fickle like that he supposes, giving him a beautiful creature, he can't trust. One who is clearly concealing something and who certainly doesn't desire him in return. A beep tells him the suns are rising and you begin to stir
“Arise little bird, a day off struggle and fortune lays in wait.”
You grumble in return shuffling onto your back and sitting. Ezra tries not to stare as the blanket slips away revealing your body. To avoid further thoughts, he leaves his burrow taking his suit, subtly clutching it to his front so as not to alert you to his predicament, and heads for the shower to sort himself out, eternally grateful that the pod had connected to an underground lake making the water supply essentially infinite. Hopefully a brisk wash will clear his head and body of the lust.
You flop back and sigh. That damn blonde tuft and those sharp features were following you even into sleep. It had been far too long since you'd enjoyed another person and if it wasn't for the dilemma you were in, Ezra would be an easy yes. Broad and handsome and charming in a way that just spelled trouble, but your uneasy alliance, and your lies, and the fact that he could easily kill you make you especially wary of being vulnerable in the way you truly crave. Instead, you shake yourself, grab your pack, dig around for that terrible instant caf and leave the cupboard.
Ezra's shower was doing nothing for his erection. Feeling a little exasperated he grasps it harshly and tries not to picture you so vivid in his dream moaning around him. The water raining down on him acts as a lubricant as he harshly begins pumping his hand not wanting to take his time and fall into a fantasy of you. It doesn't work, he imagines how soft your hands would be, how wet you'd be, how he'd take you here up against the tiles. It's quick and dirty. He grunts, swears, then cums, the water washing the sin away leaving him panting and if anything, more frustrated than before.
You hear Ezra swear in the shower and wonder vaguely if he dropped something as you grab two mugs and start heating water for caf. The shower shuts off and you look round as he emerges with a towel wrapped around his waist. His eyes are dark and he looks furious so you turn away and try not to think about how the water droplets on his broad shoulders shimmer as he disappears back into the cupboard.
Seeing you there, making you both caf, dressed in your underclothes sparked a craving of domesticity within Ezra. For the briefest moment you weren't a reluctant partner on a hostile planet, instead you were a lover he could wrap his arms around from behind as you giggle and try to get breakfast and it aches.
When Ezra re-emerges, dressed with his hair sticking in all directions, you've put his caf on the small bench and are sitting waiting for him. He sits too and picks it up.
“There's only a couple months left in the dig” he says, “You up to it? I will be displeased if you slow us down”
You glare, so this is what he's worried about, “Don't worry I've had plenty of practice. If anything, I'd worry about your arm!”
He grins at you “No need to fret little creature, I managed to do my job with a hole in it and with your miraculous medication, it is only a little unyielding.” He carefully looks over your face, “Speaking of, I would appreciate you being candid in not only the precise location you acquired such a potion but why in Kevva you deigned see fit to give it to me?”
He watches you chew on your words, “I relieved them from a man who sought to take from me, and I gave them to you to even my debt. You saved my life if I didn't give you one, I wouldn't have been able to save your arm.”
What a strange little thing, he thinks, so worried about balance, “Did you happen to also relieve this man of his life?” You stare into your cup and don't answer “Well if he sought to take from you, I'll assume it was just.”
You sit in silence as Ezra smoothly changes the subject and grabs a bar for you, spinning quite the tale as you eat. Not stopping for breath as you pull on your suits, boots and helmets, only pointing you towards the equipment you need to grab before opening the door and leading you back into waste.
Ezra hadn't given you back your thrower which you supposed was fair although he had left you your blade which you're sure he remembered you carried. Perhaps a little act of faith to gain your trust? It didn't hurt. 
As you approach the site Ezra looks back at you, “Stay close little creature we wouldn't want you to get lost.” His voice is low and threatening and sends a shiver down your spine that isn't entirely fear. You nod slowly and he grins, wolf-like just as before, as if outside you the pod he is an entirely different beast to reckon with. 
“I'll get in the pit and do the heavy lifting, you can treat and polish on the surface, we'll go for as long as we've got light and head back. It's gonna be a long day little bird”
The dig comes as a relief, the repetitive labour clears your head and Ezra seems to be filled to the brim with stories and anecdotes, although, you don't think you're actually learning much about him. The way he talks is open yet totally guarded, as if he has the compulsion to speak but the sense not to trust you. You aren't offended, it's not like you're exactly opening up to him either. The day passes quickly like this and as the sun dips too low to see well Ezra hauls himself out of the pit, tells you to pack up and you both head back to the pod to eat and sleep. You wake with his hand around your ankle again.
⧫⧫⧫
A couple of days in, the suns seem to be burning even hotter than before. The dig is gruelling and you’re grateful Ezra so far, hadn’t let you into the pit. You aren’t sure you could bear it in this heat. By the time you finish and return to the pod, taking off your helmet is a relief. You feel hot and sticky and bone tired so you plop yourself down into the cot in the main room still in your suit. Ezra chuckles, “You must be out of practice, else you'd still find these long days easy.”
Ah, so he is bringing it up. You raise your head to look at him, “I still kept up with you, didn't I?”
“True, true, although I am not functioning at full capacity at the present time.” He gestures to his arm.
You flop back and gaze at the ceiling, “Or I just survived a crash from space a few days ago and I'm still a bit worn out.”
That makes him laugh. It's a big warm noise, that makes you giggle too at the absurdity of it all. 
“Are you confident you wish to slumber there?”
“Why? You afraid I'm going to make another break for it?”
His grin is just a little softer now, “A little. But if I were you, I'd be more concerned about the neighbours might pop by.”
“Shit, alright” you sit up and instantly yawn.
“Let's get some food in you and turn in, little bird. If I'm not careful I'll have to carry you into my burrow.”
Smiling back, you mock him a little, “With your arm? I'm not sure you'd be capable.”
At that he grins and you realise you've given him a challenge he won't back down from. Stalking up to you like a cat he seizes you under the arms and hauls you against his chest making you huff and giggle as you try to wriggle free. He carries you across the pod like you weigh nothing and plonks you down on the little work bench. Hovering too close for just a moment too long, his breath ghosting your cheek.
“Now how about you keep your smart comments to yourself, lest I have to keep proving you wrong?” he smiles at you, letting you see the crow’s feet by his eyes. 
“I'll admit defeat this time I suppose, but you really should go easy on that arm!”
Ezra turns away from you, his heart pounding a little and reluctant to leave your embrace. Instead, he ignores the feeling urging him to clasp you close and grabs your food. As you slide off the bench and into a seat, he hands you a bowl. Neither of you attempt to meet the other's eye and both of you fail to see the flushed face of your companion.
Once again sleep comes easy, the hard work making your body crave rest to heal but even so in the dark you wake. There's no rush of panic this time instead you feel warm and sleepy as you glance at Ezra at the other end of the cupboard. He's not grasping your ankle instead his side is pressed against yours, leg to leg. It's cosy and in your half-awake state you don't think about how you had gone to sleep separated, and who had sought out whom in the black.
The next day goes much the same, you bicker before you head out deciding who should be in the pit and who shouldn't. Ezra concedes that he'll do the treating of the gems today if you keep alternating so neither of you gets too worn out. You agree though you point out yet again that he needs to go easy on his arm and he points out your bruises and gash on the head as hypocrisy. It's an argument with no malice and it feels refreshing to have a go at someone without worrying they'll get angry and shoot you. Although perhaps you should be more concerned by how at ease you are. If he was to see the scar on your arm, you doubt he'd be so understanding. 
As the day ends Ezra offers you his hand to pull you out of the pit, his touch lingering in yours for just a second too long.
⧫⧫⧫
Working like this you form a sort of routine. Up early, dig till you can't see, talk, eat, sleep, press together in the night. Ezra is starting to reveal little details about himself, where he was born, how he got into prospecting, his favourite books. In a way it makes you feel guilty for staying guarded, only relinquishing the barest details about yourself, but if he notices he doesn't point it out. 
A month passes like this and as you watch Ezra hop into the pit you wonder vaguely if he'll ever run out of things to talk about. He describes an incident where an amateur prospector managed to get his arm stuck in the pit resulting in its brutal amputation but your attention fails as you wait for the next potential gem and you look into the trees behind you. 
An uneasy feeling claws at you so trusting your gut you tell Ezra to shut up and get down out of sight just as someone emerges. No one you recognise, thank Kevva, and not a settler either. They are carrying a rifle though. Bowing your head to your work so they can't see your mouth move, you quickly describe what's happening.
“I can only see one, he's armed. A prospector. You stay quiet unless I shout.”
“Right then birdie. I await your call.”
You look up at the man staying on your knees and gesture your radio setting.
“What's someone like you doing out here all alone?” You repress a shudder at his tone.
“Same as you, I expect, making my way in the universe.” He comes closer and you fight the urge to back away but you don't want to draw attention to Ezra. “I don't have much to offer you and I don't take kindly to thieves.”
“Big talk from someone unarmed.” Wishing Ezra had given back your thrower, you stand and decide an attempt to bargain will be the best option.
“What do you want then, we can trade.”
“I'm not looking to trade anymore, I'm stuck here. My team's dead.” He levels his gun at you. “If you take me to your ship, I'll let you live for a price. Protest too much and I'll shoot and have my way while you bleed out.”
You gulp and stand starting to back away. Even with the element of surprise Ezra will have to act quick and be lucky if you both want to live. Why would he though, he doesn't have much motivation to risk his life for yours, he'll just have to hitch another ride. The man keeps moving towards you as you reach the edge of the pit, eyes not leaving your face and presses the gun to your chest. You glance down for a moment, hoping he doesn't look too, and see wide brown eyes and a miniscule nod. 
At the same moment Ezra reaches up, you drop back into the pit and land heavily on your back, winded. He slices across your assailants achilles tendon and grabs onto his leg pulling him in after you. Frozen in place, you watch the tussle, for the first time properly witnessing how formidable of a foe Ezra can be. His size and strength easily overpower the other man as he rolls on top, throwing down heavy blows that fill the air with the soft thuds of impact, like a heartbeat. A yell is cut off with a gurgle as Ezra shoves his blade into the man’s neck repeatedly, using his weight to hold the man down until he stills.
There's a moment before he turns, he lowers his head trying hard to calm his harsh breathing and sighs. “I do apologise little bird,” he turns to you scowl in place, eyes dark. “For my brutality, I'd rather you didn't have to bear witness.”
His voice is low and he's watching you carefully as you sit up. You feel lost for words at how far he'd gone to defend you, you wonder how close he got to becoming the man dead in front of you. Alone and cruel. All you can do is nod in response.
Ezra curses himself at how quiet you've become. Moving the body out of the pit had taken time and once done, as he watched you place a coin in his mouth, he'd announced that to continue the dig today would be futile with adrenaline running so high and at your nod you had gathered the equipment and headed back to the pod. He watches you carefully as you pull off your suit and decides that the fact you didn't just sprint for the trees after what he did was a good sign. But you continue to surprise him.
“Thank you,” you say softly, “For not letting him…”
“Nonsense, without the pleasure of your company I don't doubt my humanity would soon become as weathered as his own.” He frowns, “It was rather like being visited by the ghost of Christmas yet to come.” You tilt your head not really sure what that means but he shrugs. “Don't fret about it.”
Then there's silence as you watch each other. Lost in thought as you make your meal and eat.
Ezra ponders on the panic he felt deep in his chest at the waver in your voice. He wonders when saving you switched from utilitarian need to something more. He knows how stupid it is to get attached, how reckless. But your bright eyes and determination to stay alive were admirable and captivating and he craves to know more, what makes you laugh, how well you'd take him. He sighs and attempts to brush the lust aside. Even if you weren't terrified of him, he just knew you were concealing something.
The silence stretches out, both unwilling to break it, as you head into the burrow. For the first time, you sleep next to each other. 
⧫⧫⧫
Ezra is wrapped around you when you wake, safe and warm and comforting. You can feel his heartbeat against your back, its steady rhythm relaxing you before your brain starts whirring. Then you feel guilty, like you're taking advantage of him. He doesn't realise how much you enjoy him holding you close and you certainly don't deserve it. The weight of your lies heavy on your shoulders you ease out of his arms, careful not to wake him, and leave the sanctuary of the burrow. 
A wonderful dream slips away from him as he stirs. His little bird's weight in his arms, grounding him, giving him something to protect. Looking round for you and finding you gone, he swears and stumbles to his feet. Kevva, he hoped you hadn't left him alone.
He almost sighs with relief when he leaves his burrow just to spot you sitting by the window watching the suns rise, notebook in hand and mug beside you. You look up, a little wary of his wide eyes but shrug. “I couldn't sleep.”
“Me neither little creature, my dreams are haunted.” He picks up your mug and takes a sip, with a grimace he says “Can you truly enjoy something so acrimonious?”
You chuckle, “Habit I guess.”
“Well, it's certainly rousing” he smiles at you “What are you scribbling there?”
“I had a look round the ship, it's all the repairs I need to do.” You hesitate, “If we swing by the other crashed ship for a couple parts, we can be gone in two days.”
Ezra's eyes darken just a little, his voice low, “You wouldn't be trying to wiggle out of our agreement now? The dig isn't done and I demand satisfaction.”
He watches your mouth twist, “It's just I think our luck's run, the longer we stay the more trouble we're going to get like yesterday.”
“That cannot be helped, little creature. I'd like to live well for a while, and so, the dig must be completed.” You think to that other ship, there's immeasurable wealth on it but you can't tell him. Then he'd know what you were. So instead, you nod and start preparing for the day.
The change in your attitude has Ezra feeling nervous. He realises if he doesn't show a little faith, you won't feel safe and he'll lose you, and possibly himself. Just before opening the door to the waste, he turns to you, “Here.”
He's holding your pistol out to you, frowning slightly, you peer up at him “What?”
“If something like yesterday happens again I'd rather you be able to look after yourself,” you nod and reach for it but he keeps it in his grip for a moment, “Don't get any ideas” his voice is low and dangerous eyes hard on you. You swallow and nod shoving it into your holster.
To your relief the dig is quiet and Ezra has returned to chatting away to you from his perch outside the pit and eventually you're able to chat back making him laugh as the day passes.
There's a change between you, him trusting you to be armed has given you a chance to breathe, but, with that a new tension has come between you. One you're trying very hard to ignore. It’s crawled into your head and planted thoughts of closeness, of more, that you can ignore during the day but not at night.
After that day you'd formed a new routine. Going to sleep next to Ezra and waking up feeling secure in his arms before the guilt hits and you leave before he wakes. Not letting him know the comfort you've found there. 
⧫⧫⧫
Apart from the locals coming to bang on your walls every few days, weeks pass incident free as you both perform this dance around each other. Ezra finds that his cold showers are doing less and less to quell his lust, and heart is another matter entirely. So, he ignores it, treats you a little coolly, tries not to scare you off, it's getting more difficult now nearly every night he dreams of you. Sometimes it's lewd, sometimes you're chatting together, the worst are when he dreams he's just holding you. He might think it was real if not for how when he wakes up you aren't there.
Until the morning he wakes first. 
He's groggy, breathing deeply and so, so comfortable. It takes a moment to get his bearings. Shifting slightly, he realises how he's curled around you, hand on the strip of skin of your stomach where your shirt has rolled up, face pressing into the back of your neck and he has to fight the urge to kiss it. When you moan quietly, he props himself up on his arm looking down at you in the low light. For a moment he thinks you're having a nightmare but you flushed, breathing shallowly and he's certain you aren't. When you whimper, he shudders, such a pretty noise. He feels tempted to stay pressed against you, to touch you, to make you make more of those noises. He fights it off, and eases away from you stepping out of the warmth of his burrow. 
He thinks, perhaps later he can talk to you, there's nothing wrong with getting some pleasure and easing some stress in each other’s arms. There isn't long left of the dig and then you'll go your separate ways, the thought stings a little. He leans back against the door. Kevva, he craves more, he wants to learn every inch of you intimately, to learn what makes you tick, to wake up with you in his arms. It aches deep in his chest, so many years spent in poor company. He hears you moan once more and groans himself, pushing off the door he trudges to the shower.
For the first time in ages, he runs it hot before stepping in and grasping his cock. He lets himself take his time, starting slow, increasing the pace till he feels like he could explode then slowing right back down again. He doesn't fight off the images of you that spring into his head now he knows what you can sound like. He imagines you making them with his tongue on you, fingers buried in you as he presses you down, how you'd whine his name, how you'd beg. Ezra grunts, staving off his orgasm once more his cock red and throbbing with his heartbeat. He pictures sinking into you, hot and wet with you pliable in his arms as he fucks you into the ground. He cums hard with a growl and a curse and then curses himself both for being loud and for allowing himself to yearn for you, then finally he begins to wash.
⧫⧫⧫
You wake with a start, panting. Your dream is vivid in your mind. Ezra grasping your hands so you couldn't move as he fucked you with his tongue moaning against you. He'd talked too, both eloquent and totally filthy as he got you exactly where he wanted you. You huff, now you were left frustrated and still pining for a man who must just see you as a utility, a way to get off this planet. Hell, he barely even knew anything about you, didn't know the most important thing. But you know you can't stay in this limbo for long now, the digs nearly done and after then what can you do. There are two options, tell him who you are and how you feel and hope for the best or just ignore it, get off the planet, take your money, and go live the quiet life you'd intended. You focus on this debate and instead of the wetness between your legs as you leave the cupboard.
You look around for Ezra and exhale as you hear the shower running, there's no way for him to know what you were dreaming of, right?
That's when you hear him, it's a low, erotic groan followed by a string of swear words and you flush as you became achingly aware of how wound tight you are. You turn away and try to ignore it, heating up water for both of your cafs as the shower stops. 
As it brews the steel door swings open and Ezra emerges wrapped in a towel and glowering, you ignore his stare and the way droplets of water slide down his chest making you want to lick him as you hand him a mug. 
Ezra watches you gnaw on your lip as you look him over and can't hold in the grin at how frustrated you seem. He can't help but tease. 
“Did you have pleasant dreams little bird? You seemed unwilling to rise this delightful morning.”
His grin widens with your eyes as you look away “Err I don't remember… did you sleep ok?”
“Like I was in the welcoming arms of a lover” He doesn't miss your little inhale of breath, and he wonders how best to broach the topic of mutual pleasure with you. Perhaps it'll quell the urge to keep you safe in his arms.
The way Ezra is teasing you makes you think perhaps he can read your mind. As he goes to dress you make a decision, after the dig you'll explain how you really got here, explain how you don't want to leave him after the dig is done. And hopefully he'll be worn out enough that, should he decide you're too much of a liability, you can out run him.
As you head out an uneasy feeling settles in your stomach, you tell Ezra as much but he just chuckles, “Perhaps you're still tired”
The morning goes smoothly, you're in the pit this time handing stuff out every so often to Ezra, his fingers brushing yours. Both of you work quickly, you puff, out of breath, as you stretch yourself up for yet another hand off. His ability to talk is once again surprising you. You laugh at his story despite the unease and the beat of the sun in your back and miss the delighted expression that crosses Ezra's face from your position in the pit.
Like a light switching, the energy shifts. You know there's trouble before Ezra mumbles through the comm “Little bird, stay down. Company approaches.”
Your blood runs cold when a voice responds, already on your frequency, a voice you know. “Greetings friend, we think you can help us out.”
Ezra eyes the pair in front of him, knowing you’d been made was adding a layer of worry to a tense situation, “I'll help if I can but, you're encroaching on my little territory you know how it is. I will be obliged to defend it”
You hear the pair step closer “Actually we're looking for someone,” your eyes slip closed as you stay stock-still, “See they greatly are responsible for our predicament. However,” the voice is clear like they already know you're here, crap, how long did they listen in? “If they were to help us find something we've lost. I can assure their punishment is… swift.”
You swallow as they step to the edge of the pit, Damon glares down at you “Hello darling, long time no see”
Ezra looks shockingly calm, still smiling as you glance at him, “Now then, that is not a polite way to address my partner.”
The other man scoffs, second in command Barlow, “Your partner? Back to your old ways I see.” He looks Ezra up and down. “You’re their type”
You think perhaps you see Ezra's jaw clench before he's grinning “It hardly seems fair for you to make off with my partner, does it? No, not without compensation which unless my ears deceive me, you can't give me without them.”
Before you can blink guns are drawn and you feel like a fish in a barrel, stuck in the pit without Ezra to pull you out.
“You don't know who we are, do you? I suppose in the suits you can't tell but I'd have thought with your… intimate relationship to our engineer you might have figured it out.”
Ezra’s gun doesn't waver for a second but his mind reels. The bandage on your arm, it couldn't be. Surely, he hadn't been so blinded by your company not to notice that. His eyes darken and he thinks, for a moment this man, Damon, realises he's going to die the split second before Ezra shoots.
Barlow’s slower, surprised at him for making the first move but despite his fumble this was a real stand-off. He meets Ezra's glare and they're frozen in time for a moment. Just as he watches the man start to squeeze the trigger and prepare to shoot, he flops sideways. Ezra swings his thrower round you see you, gun in one hand, body turned to the side, still poised from the shot neither of them had seen coming.
Ezra looks as surprised as you feel, even taking aim you hadn't been sure you should save him. But, in the second the men had forgotten about you, you'd let instinct take over and your instinct had chosen Ezra. You hoped it was correct.
Perhaps not. You watch as Ezra’s face darkens, his teeth bared as he levels his pistol at you. “Little bird” his voice makes you shiver despite the heat, “Be so kind as you toss your shooter up here. I think we will be having words.”
You can only nod, what can you do? He says he wants to talk so you'll talk, out of the pit. Where you can stand your ground. You swallow and throw your gun up to him. He gives you a curt nod picking it up and turning away. For a terrifying moment you think he's going to leave you here to die slowly but before you can beg him not to, he returns and tosses a pack down.
“Pack up your gear. We're leaving.” His tone leaves no room for argument so you pack away his equipment as quickly as you can and put it on as you wait and listen to him packing his own, wondering if the shots will draw more trouble.
After all the time spent getting used to his talking, his silence is terrifying. It allows you to think, to panic, to imagine the worst thing he can do. Probably leave you on this planet to rot or be torn to pieces by the locals. You squeeze your eyes shut at the thought.
“Come on now, your elevator awaits” You open them to see he's offering his hand down for you to grab. You do your best to ignore the pistol in the other as you grab a hold and scramble out of the hole you had been sure was going to become your grave. Ezra doesn't loosen his grip on your arm as he hauls you to your feet and strides away from the dig forcing you to trot behind him to keep up.
You stare up at him as he pulls you along trying to read his thoughts. He doesn't look at you scowling straight ahead, his grip vice like and bruising. You don't try to shake him off, you’re sure he's worked out who you are. Your former co-workers hadn't been subtle but you can't gage whether or not this is a walk to the noose.
⧫⧫⧫
Tugging you into the pod he releases your arm and turning to seal the door he finally speaks. “Take off your helmet” His tone sends goosebumps over prickling over your skin so you pull it off and go to set it down on the table. When you turn back, he's right in front of you glaring down eyes dark. It makes you feel tiny. “Show me your arm.”
His words are too concise, so abrupt you hesitate. It's like he's a different person, an enemy you aren't sure you should comply to. Ezra decides you're taking too long and seizes the top of your arms spinning you both around and pinning you against the pod's wall, knee hitched up between your legs keeping you in place. You squirm in a futile attempt to get away and gasp as he unzips the front of your suit and shoves it down to your waist. Ezra breathes heavily as he rakes his eyes up to your body to your face. Doing his best to swallow down his desire, he ignores your own heaving chest and grabs the back of your neck forcing you to look up at him.
“Little bird, take off that measly scrap of fabric and reveal the truth.” You gulp eyes wide fingering the knot of the bandage on your arm. Ezra gives you a little shake. “Do it now.”
So, you do, pulling apart the knot and unwinding it from your arm. You don't look at it, perhaps if you don't see it, it's not really there. Instead, you watch Ezra's face for his reaction, gleaning nothing as he releases your shoulder and grabs your wrist bringing it up for him to see clearly. His brow furrows as he inspects your forearm, a brand of three circles linked like a chain. Kevva, he'd hoped he'd been mistaken. You're frozen as his gaze returns to you, dark eyes furious he crowds around you, filling your senses, body pressing you against the wall. His leg shifts slightly between yours and you almost whimper.
“You've been dishonest, little bird, and I do not appreciate it.” Ezra feels at war, he's furious you lied but he understands why. He's fuming you had been running with a violent, malevolent group of pirates. He doesn't understand why you'd ran after the crash or why you'd turned to him. He wants to know what you have that your crew found so valuable. He wants to know how you're both so hard and so soft. All these thoughts rattle around in his head as he stares at you, your mouth slightly open and your lips wet, until he can only think about how good you feel pressed against him, how delicate you feel under the hand on your neck. How much, despite everything, he wants you. He doesn't notice how close he's gotten to you until he feels the puff of your breath on his face. And then you utterly surprise him.
You can almost hear him think as he stares down at you. You don't want to interrupt but his hold on you is drawing attention to his size, to how much strength and power he holds. It's like he's swirling all around you clouding your brain, filling it with him. So, you let yourself do what you want. You've got nothing to lose. Everything that's yours is in his hands and you can't bring yourself to care. He's leaning closer, bending so with his hand on your neck tilting your head up it's like you’re sharing breath. You close the gap and kiss him.
For a second, he freezes in surprise and then he's kissing you back. Harshly biting your lower lip before shoving his tongue into your mouth. It's desperate and rough and you lick into his mouth in response loving the low moan coming from deep in his chest. He releases your wrist and grasps your hip closing any distance left between you. He grinds into you, the leg between your thighs causing a delicious friction as you whimper into his mouth. He breaks the kiss and stares down at you for a second moving his hands to the bottom of your vest. At your nod he tugs it off and pounces back on you. He rubs his hands up your sides as he kisses you, loving the feeling of how big they are on your frame and how you gasp as he pinches your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. You wriggle against him trying to unfasten his suit and shove it down his arms. He obliges, stepping back he pushing it off and kicks it away leaving him in his underclothes, staring at you, pupils blown wide with lust as he takes you in. Then he's back on you, seizing your jaw and tilting your head up to look at him as his other hand tugs down the remainder of your suit taking your leggings with it.
Eyes look up and down your form, drinking it in as he reaches down to rub a finger over the wetness soaking your underwear. Your mouth drops open and Ezra seizes the opportunity to shove his thumb in your mouth, his grip adjusting to your chin. Smiling as you suck on it.
“Look at you” he coos dragging his nose into your cheek almost mockingly “On display for me, you look good enough to eat.” He punctuates this by biting your neck and pulling your thin underwear taut against your clit just enough you cry out and stand on tiptoe. He grins down at you as you bite down gently on his thumb and then pulls off your underwear letting you kick it aside before stroking his fingers across your slit so gently it makes you buck towards his hand. He moves his hand back to your hip, pinning you back to the wall as he pulls his thumb from your mouth and wraps his hand around your throat, not squeezing just resting there.
“I want you to stay still,” his voice is low and commanding so you nod. “Repeat it back to me, I want to hear you.”
You whimper, “I'll stay still” and he grins before bending to kiss and nip along your jaw above his hand as his other moves back down to your cunt. He circles your clit so gently it's like he isn't really touching you and just as he slightly increases the pressure he draws back. A needy whine falls from your throat but you stay still and he murmurs against your cheek.
“Good little bird, so wet for me. You're positively dripping,” and then just as slowly he eases a finger into. You cry out, so wound tight it's agonising, the contrast between how harshly he gripped you before against his irreverent touches now making you ache for him more than ever. “Sing for me little bird” he demands and then he's really moving, pressing his finger against that spot inside you that makes you see stars, thumb drawing circles over your clit making you moan so loudly it surprises you. 
Ezra watches the flush spread over your skin as your eyes roll back, he doesn't know how he wants you first. Just as you’re getting close, he realises. He wants you begging. 
He forces himself to pull his hand away from you and watches as you shudder with tension eyes opening to look up at him. “Ezra…” your voice is so soft he grins.
You watch him as he raises his hand to his face to lick your juice off it, sucking his finger with a pop. It's so erotic you can only whimper as he smirks down at you. You want to touch yourself, make yourself cum while he watches, but as you lower your hand down he grabs your wrist and moves it back to his shoulder. “Don't misbehave birdie, right now all your pleasure is mine.” You bite your lip.
Then he returns his hand to your pussy, this time shoving two fingers in pumping them as he rubs his thumb against your clit more firmly than before. Your body quivers but his hand against your neck keeps you in place as you moan desperately. As soon as you get close again, he slows down to a stop this time keeping you stuffed with his fingers as you try to get some friction. “Please Ezra,” the tone of your voice shocks you, you've never sounded so needy.
He moves his face away from biting your ear lobe to look at you, “Please Ezra what, little bird? You've got to be clear”
You can't stop the words tumbling out of you, “Please can I cum, please make me cum Ezra”
He smiles almost cruelly, “You sound so exquisite when you beg.” He starts working his thumb again, brushing his lips against yours. The hand on your neck finally starts to squeeze, turning you on more. “Do it again.”
You do, no power could stop you begging for him, saying his name like a prayer. And then you're cumming, your vision goes white as Ezra squeezes your throat firmly, cutting the blood from your brain dragging it out as he shoves a third finger into your wet pussy. 
Ezra swears he's never witnessed anything so magnificent. Your eyes rolling back into your head, mouth open and lips wet, unable to make a sound. How you soak his hand, how you tighten around his fingers. Now all he wants is to find out how many times, how many ways, he can break you apart.
When you begin to squirm, he reluctantly pulls away, you look up only to find he's pulling off his shirt and trousers. Your eyes widen as his cock springs free. You'd known he carried himself like he had nothing to be insecure about but Kevva… he's packing. It's huge and beautiful, slightly curved, a striking vein runner down it. You feel a little more breathless at the sight.
Ezra catches you staring and grins, pressing back against you, grabbing your arse and lifting you against him. You wrap your legs around him as he pins you up against the wall. His cock feels even bigger pressed against your stomach. Ezra grinds against you sucking marks down your neck as he notches himself at your entrance. You whine and claw his shoulders, he's barely into you and you're sure you've never felt so full. “Ezra” your voice is thready “Ezra I don't think you're going to fit.”
He coos in response thrusting shallowly getting slightly further in and making a cry out as you feel yourself drip around his cock. “Don't fret little bird,” he thrusts again getting deeper, kissing you, relishing the feeling of your heat around him, “I know you can take me.”
He thrusts decisively, bottoming out and pushing the air from your lungs. It feels like he's breaking you open, splitting you in two with his cock and you love it. Love the ache as you adjust, love how you can almost feel him in your stomach, love how he has you pinned to the wall supported by those strong hands and his body and totally at his mercy.
You can barely register he's talking as he grinds his hips against your clit. “... squeezing so tight around me. Never in all my time have I gotten so close to Nirvana.”
He waits until you've started to writhe in his arms, just add he'd imagined, begging for him to move. Then he starts long deep thrusts, interspersed by him grinding against your clit making you whimper and moan as you feel his cock drag across your walls.
“Kevva plucked you out of my head and sent you here for me. You're divine, exquisite…” you can't focus on the words, in no time at all you're cumming again. Squeezing him so tight he chokes on his words and kisses you deeply. He doesn't slow down or speed up, keeping his devastating pace until your body starts to relax. Then he nips at your jaw, hooking his arms under your knees and around your back, spreading his palms wide. He steps away from the wall and, slightly afraid he'll drop you, you grab the back of his neck, but you needn't worry. 
Now with you impaled on his cock suspended in the air by his arms, he truly begins to ruin you. Lifting you up and slamming you back he watches your cunt take him, watches how your breasts bounce, watches you throw your head back in a silent scream. He bites into your neck leaving a mark as he sets a brutal pace. Seeing you like this, feeling you like this, has stolen his vocabulary so he curses and growls as he watches, totally enraptured by how well you take him. He thinks maybe he tells you but he can't be sure.
Ezra’s still talking his sentences shorter but still as dirty, the way he praises you makes you moan and combined with his he is destroying you; you don't think you'll ever experience something this good again and then you don't think anything much at all. Just Ezra, his strength, his beautiful words, how perfectly he's fucking you.
Ezra knows he can't last much longer, not in this heaven but he's determined to make you cum again before he does just to feel it. So, he moves you slightly in his arms until he hits that bit which takes your cries even higher. He grins as you dig your nails into his shoulders, the slight pain both grounding him and making him lose his mind.
You feel so overwhelmed and overstimulated that when he adjusts his thrusting you can't help the few tears escaping as you wail. He just pulls you slightly closer and licks them up before staring down and watching how your pussy stretches to take him. You’re so close again you're sure you might explode if you don't cum, or if you do. And then you do, you can't even make a sound as your whole body goes rigid and Ezra doesn't stop pounding you. Instead, you hear him growl and curse and his thrusts get faster and shorter.
Ezra had never experienced anything hotter. The way you threw your head back and took it as he fucked you like a ragdoll. The feeling of you clenching around him. How you soaked him, the sound of your fucking would stay with him forever. And then he's cumming, he bites down on your shoulder groaning into your skin as he releases. His mind is wonderfully blank as he squeezes you against himself and fills you up with a dozen shallow thrusts.
He doesn't release you right away, just holds you to his chest as he turns to lean against the wall cock still in you. Blissful in the moments before his thoughts start buzzing again. When you can move you look up at Ezra, he meets your eyes, gaze totally unreadable. He reluctantly releases you with a groan and grabs his shirt as he kneels and begins to clean off your combined juices dripping down your legs. Seeing him on his knees taking care of you threatens to give you hope which you tamped down. He didn't know the truth yet and he had readily thrown you out once before. When he's done, he stands and tosses the shirt to the side, tugs on his soft under trousers as you pull on your own clothes. The silence feels like a giant pit between you and you glare at your feet unsure how to start this important conversation.
To your surprise Ezra gently pinches your chin and tilts your head up to look at him. “We've still got much to discuss, little bird.” At your nod he pulls your hand into his ignoring how small and delicate it feels and gently tugs you towards the burrow. He has to know the truth.
⧫⧫⧫
You sit next to each other, his back against the wall, you sitting forward nervously running your fingers over the brand on your arm. Ezra just watches you, waits for you to explain and hopes you aren't a threat he'll have to get rid of after you've shared such intimacy.
“I don't… I won't come off like a very good person or partner when I tell you this. So just listen… please?”
Ezra nods, “None of us can be considered a good person, our humanity is dependent on our survival” he sighs, “Spin your tale, I'll remain in silence until it's done and keep my judgement of our partnership till it's completion”
You swallow, “I fixed a ship, that's how this whole mess started. We were leaving a dig and something had gone wrong which would have forced us to land. But I suited up and fixed it in zero G. It was completely stupid and shouldn't have worked but it did and we made it back to the dock. It wasn't till we'd sold off all our gems and separated that I was cornered. Turns out the malfunction wasn't an accident and by fixing it I'd cost them a lot of money in what they would have stolen from us. They reckoned I owed them and… they aren't people you want to owe”
You close your eyes and Ezra watches you tense. He'd like nothing more than to pull you into his arms but as he reaches for you, he clenches his fist. He needs to hear you out.
“They went through the rest of my team to get to me…” oh, Ezra understands they'd totally isolated you. “Well, they worked out since I could fix their brakes, I could mess up the ships in ways that couldn't be fixed without an emergency landing. They branded me there and then. Didn't even tell me how long I'd have to work to balance what I owed; probably thought I'd be dead by then.” You look down at your arm and frown.
When you look back at Ezra, his eyes are sharp, watching you intensely. “That scars old, little bird, how long did you dutifully aid their robberies.” Robberies of prospectors, people like him, people who'd been like you.
You look away, jaw clenched, “Long enough for it to get easy.”
Ezra doesn't move behind you, doesn't speak. You can't look at him.
“And then I couldn't anymore, I saw what I'd become and I hated it.” Your nails dig into your arm. “No one's good out in the fringe. But I was worse. I can't make up for what I did… can't take it back, can't return lives, possessions any of that. But I could stop, bring my crew down too. We used a distress beacon to lure in the other ships and…” you laugh “This time as I boarded after dealing with the other ship. I dunno, I just snapped and blew our engine too.”
Your mouth twists at the memory, “The pilot saw and I… when I was done, I just thought one down. I didn't want to die myself, that’s the easy way out, so I did my best to pull the chutes, hoping I'd play dead and hitch a ride out. Well, you know the rest.”
You stare straight ahead as a tense silence follows not daring to see Ezra glare at you. You don't see his soft eyes looking you up and down, his mind reeling. Had he known this when you’d first met, he would have shot you without question and left you to rot, your presence nothing more than a risk to his survival. But now, you’d saved him, talked with him, he’d gotten to know you. How you drink your caf black saying you’re “sweet enough”, how you look in the morning, how you laugh, how you moan. He knows he can’t kill you now, but you are a threat. He doesn’t know what to do. “Why are they searching for you? What do you have that they want? Your friend mentioned something.”
You laugh humorlessly, “They don't know where the other ship crashed, I was in the pilot’s seat, so no one else could see it go down. Fat lot of good it'll do them wrecked here.”
There's a bang on the side of the pod, “Shite” Ezra mumbles, “Our quixotic friends have returned.”
⧫⧫⧫
The wait for them to leave seems to take hours, the silence making your heart pound and your thoughts race over what you can do now. Ezra will definitely want you gone, only a mad man would keep you around with your history. Perhaps back to the original plan, see if you can mend the other ships escape pod and get the hell off this planet.
By the time the locals have decided your pod is empty, your plan is set. You stand, not looking back at Ezra. “I'll get scarce, I know I'm a problem waiting to happen.”
You grab your bag feeling in the pocket for your ring, a memory of a home you can't return to, old gods you're no longer sure are there. You look down at it as you step out of the burrow not noticing Ezra follow. You shove it into your suit pocket.
He is stumped for words as he watches you grab your possessions that have become scattered around the pod. He sees how your lives have become enmeshed. Scraps from your notebook scattered around where you'd played hangman or left notes and reminders for each other, items of clothing he watches you fail to pack, that damn terrible caf on the workbench.
He's not sure that he'll ever get all the pieces of you out of the pod, out of himself. You're under his skin, the very smell of you making his heart beat with more determination. As you reach for your helmet, he grabs your hand and finally you look up at him.
“Don't leave, I don't want you to leave.”
It's so simple but it means so much more and he thinks you maybe realise as you look up at him tears in your eyes. “I don't want to go.”
And then he kisses you. It's slower than before but no less fierce sparking a deep need in your chest. Gently now, he pulls off your suit as if he's still persuading you to stay before running his hands up your arms and down your back and sides like he's memorising your shape. When he kisses you again it's hungry, intense, he's trying to put words he's afraid to speak into it and it totally wiped your mind as you let him pull you back into his burrow.
Then he's peeling all your clothes off you. His touch is irreverent like he's unwrapping a precious artifact. He tugs you to lie down and settles between your legs pulling off his own shirt. He balances his weight on his arm above your head to nip at your lips, you reach up to run your hands up his chest, feeling him shudder as you gently rake your nails over the skin.
His other hand is squeezing your breast and pinching your nipple before seizing your hip and pulling you flush against him. The friction of his trousers against you, combined with how he's surrounding you, invading all your senses, is overwhelming.
“You are something else entirely,” he's kissing his way down your body, sucking purple bruises as he goes, seeming determined to mark every inch of you. “I could travel the whole breadth of this hostile galaxy and never find a sight as breath-taking as you laid out before me, a divine meal worthy of gods”
His words turn you on more as his ministrations make their way down to your legs. He bites your inner thigh almost too hard, making you squeal and jerk away but he grabs your hips and pulls you back, laving his tongue over the slight indent left by his teeth. You don't know how he's done it, not hours ago he railed you into oblivion and somehow, he has wound you tight all over again. It's like he's playing an instrument, plucking your strings both hard and soft so you melt.
His eyes meet yours, dark and hungry and he holds your gaze as he licks up your slit, his tongue wide as flat. You moan softly as he smiles, “Straight from the source your essence is even more delectable.” He stares at your pussy, seemingly fascinated by how it's fluttering around nothing, totally rapt by a droplet of your arousal sliding its way down.
You whimper at him, and try to buck your hips in his grip, desperate for him to do anything other than stare. He chuckles at you, “So willing to give yourself to me,” then he spits on your cunt. You gasp, half from shock and half from how much it turned you on. He grins as you tense and dives in.
Ezra eats you out like water from a well after crossing a desert. It feels as if he's writing the words, you’re stopping him saying all over your clit as you cry his name. His eyes closed he reaches up and seizes your hands, pulling you closer and settling his elbows over your hips keeping you still and at his mercy as he moans against you. Your eyes close as you feel sparks travel up and down your spine as he shoves his tongue into you making you whine but then he pulls away. Rubbing his cheek on your thigh, his beard tickling you.
“I want you to look at me little bird.” You can't help but obey his command instantly opening your eyes to see his pupils blown wide as he smirks. “You'd do just about anything for me to let you cum, wouldn't you? Don't worry your pretty head. I want you to cum in my mouth.”
Then he's back on you, sucking your clit between his teeth, you gasp his name trying to squirm away. his eyes piercing you, his mouth on you, his hands covering yours, his arms holding you down. It fills your head with him totally overpowering you and then you cum.
You go totally rigid, you're still looking at Ezra but your vision has gone so white you can't see him, just feel him moan against your cunt as you soak his tongue. Even as you start attempting to twist away, he continues, switching between sucking and licking at you as his strong arms pin you down. You cry out at the overstimulation, shuddering from it, tears leaking from your eyes and in no time at all you're thrown over the edge again. Cumming so hard your mind is totally wiped of anything but Ezra.
This time he grants you a reprieve, sitting up he watches your chest heave as you slowly come back into your body. He's lost for words, seeing you like this is better than anything he'd ever imagined and he still wants more, wants to ring every drop of pleasure out of you. And when you smile up at him, totally blissed out and willing, he's sure he'd do almost anything to keep you.
He doesn't put it into words though. Instead, he crawls over you seizing your jaw “Open that pretty mouth little bird,” something about how you so readily obey him twists in his chest and makes his cock twitch. He ignores it and bends close spitting into your mouth. You can taste yourself in it and it sparks your desire all over again.
He can't hold in a groan as you swallow, still smiling, his head seems too empty so he kisses you. It's fiery, filled with lust as you kiss him back and wrap your legs around him reaching down to pull off his trousers, he pulls back to kick them away as his cock springs free, it's hot and red as you wrap you hand around it, not even able to meet finger and thumb and squeeze slightly making him growl and bite along your jawline. “Tell me little bird, what would you will me to do?”
You meet his gaze, “Fuck me.” he groans into your neck, “Please.”
He watches your face as he positions himself at you entrance, “Kevva,” it's like he's not really talking to you, “I've never borne witness to anything so magnificent as your perfect cunt soaking me,” he slowly pushes his way in. It makes you whimper and him growl and you watch the tension in his neck as he restrains himself from ruining you, “Fuck you're tight.” His language is getting simpler as he starts losing control. His soft eyes beg you to let him move as his jaw clenches and you can't help but give in. 
“Please Ezra, move! fuck me”
The noise he makes is inhuman as he starts drilling into you. He shoves one of your knees up over his shoulder, deepening his thrusts making you cry out as he shreds against your walls. All he can think is how hot you are, how wet, how tight, how perfectly you take him. He's shoving up against your g shot with every thrust, coarse hairs grinding on your clit, you feel totally at his mercy to do nothing but take it and it may be the best sex you've ever experienced, ever will experience.
He looks beautiful, your juices still glistening on his face, brow furrowed and eyes half lidded but so piercing you might think he was furious if not for how in-between curses he's describing you, what he thinks of you. You aren't sure he even knows he's talking and the need in his words drives you higher and higher despite how spent you feel, how much you don't think you can cum again. And then you do. Kevva the way you clamp down on him clawing his back makes him lose his mind, he shoves both your knees up to your chest bending over you to bite you lower lip. The change in angle adds more friction, his thrusts get shorter, faster. Ezra cums so hard he can't think, you watch his eyes roll into his head, the groan he makes cuts off his own speech as he shoves himself as deep into you as he can get and releases. 
Ezra’s ears are still ringing when he manages to roll himself off you. Both of you are panting, as you stare at the roof of the pod and try to muster the words. Naturally, Ezra succeeds first. “Little Bird, I didn't know experiences such as that could be bestowed upon men like me.” You can only make a little noise in reply as he takes your hand and silence falls again.
Finally, when your breath is caught and you can both think again, he pulls you to his chest and wraps his arms around you resting his chin on the top of your head.
“Little bird, I'm starting to agree our dig may be bust. Trouble is biting our ankles and I should have listened earlier. Let's pillage what we can to fix the pod and get going. The dig is almost done, even split it'll be a while before I need to pick up another job.” You feel a sting at how quickly Ezra had returned to talking business but you do your best to brush it off. There's nothing wrong with some shagging between friends and it's no reason for him to feel the same fluttering in his chest that you do in yours.
“Right then we should travel light, get everything we need and come back. The fix won't take long, we can be gone in two days.” Two days left with Ezra makes you feel a little sad, you suppose you'd just gotten used to his company.
Ezra smiles grimly, “If we're lucky.”
You turn and roll over enjoying how he follows, wrapping you in his arms, tangling your legs like he can't bear to be separate. “I do have a question for you if you don't mind?”
You shrug, “Depends what it is.”
“What is that strange ring you carry but don't put on.”
“It's… it was a gift when I left home. It's supposed to be my payment.”
Ezra's mind casts back to how you paid honour to the dead, even those he certainly didn't think deserved a boatman. Saving them from a potential purgatory. But you didn't wear yours.
“Little bird, forgive my bluntness but curiosity is driving me to ask. Why don't you wear it?”
You squeeze your eyes closed, forcing away images of your past, grounded in Ezra's warm grip. “It's,” you sigh, “It's just too heavy.”
Ezra can feel how tense you've become and fights off the heavy guilt threatening to settle in his chest. You think yourself deserving of the hundred-year wait wandering the shore, think the loneliness is just. He kisses the back of your neck. “We should let our dreams take us lest we attract more trouble. It is salient we are well rested.”
You sigh, relaxing against him despite yourself. Long since exhausted by the day and his attentions, you let yourself drift off. Faintly feeling a hand caress your cheek, but you could have imagined it.
⧫⧫⧫
Waking up with someone warm in his arms is something Ezra could get used to. He tells you as much but you brush it off, someone isn't necessarily you after all. Ezra talks as you pack but he avoids the subject of you, of you both. He didn't want to scare you off, he tells himself, his flighty little bird. But he knows he's lying to himself, just being a coward, afraid of your reaction. He avoids meeting your eye until, helmets on, you both stand by the door. Taking a moment of peace before heading into the waste. He takes your hand seeking reassurance as much as trying to give it. You meet his eyes looking a little afraid but determined. He squeezes it tight before letting go and opening the door.
The walk East is easy enough, a pretty straight shot over flat ground. The only real problem being navigating the increasingly dense petrified forest. Ezra talks continuously, but you're grateful, glad it isn't awkward between you and enjoying his descriptions of other worlds he's visited. Where instead of breathless death and grey, there's vivid greens and blues of plants and flowers. Where the beauty is just as dangerous as this blank world. And, slowly, you start to talk too. Really talk. You describe a world that, to you, had seemed to be entirely made up of a casino, and the trouble you had gotten into there.
“Too rich for my blood,” Ezra chuckles and you agree.
You don't tell him about your home, not yet. But being able to talk, to laugh about something you'd done, feels freeing. Like a weight has been lifted ever so slightly off your shoulders.
You’re both grateful the walk is uneventful but you can't relax as the looming silhouette of the other spaceship appears through the trees. It's still too early for hope.
As you approach you see that the crew had successfully pulled their parachutes, but too late. The side of the ship had caved in where it had skidded across the earth, giving you both a way in. When you stop Ezra’s looking at you, “Any chance of survivors, little bird?”
You just shrug. “I doubt it after this. They were running a skeleton crew.” You wince slightly at the double entendre, hoping you have the time to find their bodies and pay their dues.
Ezra raises an eyebrow at you. “On a ship this big? That is most peculiar.”
“I guess, I didn't get a chance to think about it at the time.”
You go over the list again, 5 items, 5 areas. All small enough to carry in your packs. To yourself you add another item, just in case you get the chance.
“We stick together, watch each other’s backs.” You nod in agreement and you both step into the ship.
⧫⧫⧫
There's a faint dripping noise, like a clock ticking. It sets off your nerves as you leave the light of the suns. Inside is cast in red, a good sign the electrics haven't been fried, but totally unsettling. It casts humanoid shadows across the grated walls seemingly flickering with every step. Ezra had gone totally silent but his presence behind you is reassuring. Together you pry open the first door.
Inside has the same red light but the weapons board flashes at you telling you it's still live which is strange. You mumble it to Ezra. “These things usually shut down first after a crash, they drain loads of power that's usually diverted out.”
He frowns at you. “Mayhaps a malfunction? It looks like a rough crash.”
“Yeah. Probably.” But it niggles at the back of your brain. All you can do right now is ignore it so you wrench the panel out from the wall to the side and stick your arm in. Feeling around, you brush your fingers up against the dotted cylinder you need. These old ships had a habit of hiding important components in baffling locations, apparently to protect them in a crash which you do suppose this has, but you suspect it's to confuse novice engineers and pillagers alike. 
Ezra is keeping a sharp eye on the door but he can't help but enjoy watching you work, grumbling about what a stupid place this was for a fuse break and how it would have been harder to wreck their engine had it actually been where all the ships power came from. He grins at you and you smile back tugging the, whatever it was, out of the wall. He tosses his pack over to you.
“I'll get this one birdie,” making you roll your eyes but you gently place it in and hand it back. 
“Take care of that.”
“I'll cradle it as if it were a new-born.” He says so sincerely you can't help but snort.
“Don't worry too much, ships like these are made hardy, they don't just fry things like your pod.” He scowls playfully at you as you head back to the corridor.
“I will not hear a negative word about her, we've been together for years.”
The ship groans around you as if it's a living creature as you head deeper in. The maze of corridors makes Ezra feel turned around but you seem to know where to go and he follows dutifully. The next stop is a storage closet smaller than his little burrow.
Inside is a collection of boxes from which you produce two tiny discs. You look at Ezra, “I doubt they'll mind me taking a spare, these things are expensive.” Still not being entirely sure what everything you're searching for is, he just shrugs,
The moment of ease sputters out when you enter comms. There's a buzzing that sets your teeth on edge, someone's been on the radio. Ezra clicks it off but the silence is suddenly oppressive. Trying hard to hear any sign of life you scan the dark corners of the space. 
“We don't know how long this has been on.” Ezra’s voice is steady but there's an edge you know too well. You agree all the same, hurrying to rip the tubing out from under the console. The blinking lights shut off with a hum as Ezra takes it from you, looping it together and shoving it into his pack. You don't argue.
Two items left, you'd saved the cockpit and the engine till last, both at the opposite end of the ship. 
The door to the cockpit is open. you look at Ezra, his jaw is set glaring into it. You head in first moving swiftly to the control panel to the side to start pulling the whole thing apart for one measly chip. He disappears into the shadows to search the room. It's too big, too many places to hide, he thinks to himself trying to picture the best place for an ambush.
He finds one body, curled in on itself as if tossed into the corner. The next is under a nav table, arms over its head. The final one is the hardest to look at, in the pilot seat, hand still grasping the parachute release. He swallows as he takes in this futile effort to survive, picturing the final moments as the ground rises to meet them, the hopelessness.
He spins when he hears your voice.
“Wait, wait!”
“You should have stayed away-“
Ezra doesn't even think, he just shoots and the man with a blade at your throat drops. He didn't even know he could draw that fast. He fights off the adrenaline, calming his breathing as he approaches you. Your eyes are wide with shock and you take a deep breath looking up at him.
“Thank you, Ezra.”
He just wants to pull you close, hold you against him, protect you with his body. With the suits and helmets, it would be uncomfortable so he grabs your hand and pulls it to his chest.
“Think nothing of it.”
“I didn't think there could be any survivors.” At that he examined the body. Shit, the suit, the emblem, the skull etched into the glass of his helmet.
“That, little bird, is because there aren't any. It appears that the locals are here.”
You squeeze his hand. “We've got to hurry.”
He nods, “Give me three coins.”
He’s found them. You'd already known they'd be dead but the confirmation sits heavily over you. You hand him the coins.
“You finish here, I'll take care of them. Don't worry.”
The kindness he's showing by doing it for you aches in your chest. You take the frustration out on the unsuspecting control panel. Tearing into it, pulling parts out, desperately trying to get a grip on your emotions and breathe a sigh of relief when you emerge, chip in hand. No one has ever extracted one so quickly you reckon. You shove it in your pack.
Heading to Ezra you take his hand, try to convey thanks through the touch alone. Thanks for saving you, thanks for not making you bear this burden solitarily, thanks for just being company after so long alone. You look up at him, he's chewing his words again but doesn't speak so you turn and lead him out.
In the engine room you seize a battery and yank it from the wall, grateful the lights stay on. Ezra takes it from you. “Don't argue birdie I'm bigger than you.”
He's cut off by a horn echoing through the ship. You swallow. 
Taking his hand again, you both creep out of the room. Every sound is too loud, you curse your boots, the rattle of your tools, your own harsh breathing. You can't fail now, you're so close. At the sound of footsteps, you pull Ezra through a door into a room with bunks, closing the door as quietly as you can, you both hold your breath. As they pass the door his grip tightens on yours so much you feel the heat of his hand through your gloves. His eyes scan your face, like he's trying to memorise what you look like. You realise you’re doing the same to him.
When they pass you glance around the room as Ezra slumps against the door his eyes shut tightly. As you let go of him you see something in the corner of your eye. No fucking way. It's a gem case, unassuming on the outside but far bigger than the one Ezra carried. Item number six.
You shove it into your bag.
⧫⧫⧫
Neither of you seem to breath for the rest of your journey through the ship. Eyes and ears too peeled to do much else. The second you see the light outside you swallow. You say a prayer to yourself as you creep towards it.
The light blinds you as you step out. Something shoves you to the side, you hit the ground hard knocking the wind out of you as you try to see what hit you. The second your eyes adjust to the light you see Ezra trying to knock back one of the locals, trying to gain space to draw. You wrestle your pistol out of your holster and aim but you can't shoot. Their dance is too close and you're afraid to hit Ezra. 
It all happens in slow motion. The stranger thrusts his spear into Ezra's stomach and pulls it out. He cries out stumbling back giving you a straight shot. You fire the same moment as the local brings his spear down on Ezra’s helmet.
You shoot too late. 
Ezra drops back against the ship sliding to sit. Shattered glass glitters over the ground around you threatening to cut your knees as you crawl to him. His helmet is shattered.
“No no no no no” you press on the wound in his stomach tugging your pack off your back to get the med kit. “We've got to go, there's going to be more of them.”
He puts a hand over yours. “Little bird, I'm afraid my adventure has come to its conclusion”
You look at his face. “No Ezra! I can close this for now, we've got time. We can make it back.” His eyes are wide and sad, wet with the threat of tears. “Don't look at me like that!” There's desperation in your voice.
“You've got to go. Relieve yourself of my burden, you can repair the vessel and get away by yourself. You don't need me.”
“Shut up! I can't just leave you here.” You push his hands away and pull out a gun of sealing foam “Don't fucking argue with me, we've got so close you can't just give up.” Ignoring his arguments, you press the nozzle through his suit and fill his wound. He lets out a groan. As quick as you can, you pull your pack back on and stand seizing Ezra's arms and heaving him to his feet. He gives a short shout of pain but doesn't protest as you hook his arm over your shoulder for support.
You start to walk like this as the suns begin to dip. Keeping your pistol in your free hand you scan around you. The dead trees provide good cover but they also give any attackers the element of surprise so you do your best to listen out whilst you support Ezra.
It's a little difficult with his talking but you can't complain, not when it means he's still alive. But he's getting heavy, putting more weight on you, you don't know how long you can hold him up. Just as you're beginning to feel truly weak his topic of conversation changes.
“Little bird, it has been an exponential honour to be enclosed within your company. To have your trust if only a little. Kevva, the chance to learn your body the way I got to was a treasure worth more than any gem I could find. I only wish I could learn your mind just as intimately, to possess the knowledge of what makes you laugh, cry, your favourite food, favourite music. I'd cherish every drop of yourself you'd let me have until I could carry a vault of you with me”
“Ezra, don't…”
“The opportunity is being stolen from me, I both resent it and I'm so grateful for the time I've had. Little bird, don't let my soliloquy deceive you. I mean every word.”
You can't stop moving, but you grab onto him a little tighter. Letting yourself squeeze your eyes closed just for a moment to fight off the tears. There's no guarantee he'll survive, no hope yet, no point admitting feelings just to let him die. It would hurt too much.
You keep walking. Reminding Ezra to breath as slow as he can. Holding yourself together just to keep him upright.
Then you see it, your pod, through the trees, dark against the burning red sky. 
There are two locals at the door. They turn.
Before you can think to react, Ezra pushes you aside as a spear careens where you'd just been stood. Drawing before you can blink, he fires twice. The locals fall. And then, so does he.
⧫⧫⧫
You aren't sure if you're saying his name out loud or just in your head. You roll him into his back and try to shake him awake. He doesn't even stir. 
Instead, you seize the straps of his pack and use them to drag him towards your pod.
Your muscles are screaming after supporting him for so long but you don't let up, drawing strength from who knows where.
How did the pod seem so close minutes ago? Now it's miles away.
You don't know when you started crying.
You don't stop moving, can't stop until you've managed to pull him inside and seal the door. You yank off your helmet, tossing it aside and falling to your knees next to him pressing your ear to his chest, desperately trying to hear his heart through his suit.
It's dead silent.
That's when you scream. Tears streaming down your face you bring your fist down on his chest as hard as you can.
“Breath you bastard! Take a fucking breath!” You're sobbing now, “You can't just leave me here, leave me all alone. Not after all this. Not when we got so close.”
You curl over him pressing your face to his, your tears dripping onto him leaving tracks through the dust and blood on his skin. “You can't leave me alone,” it's barely a whisper. “Ezra.” You say his name over and over again like a prayer.
And then his chest moves. 
You don't know whether you should laugh. You just keep bawling as you tear off his suit and grab his hand.
He doesn't wake up but it's enough, you squeeze his warm hand for another second before wiping at your face and getting your med kit. “Let's see what I can do about this wound hmm?”
⧫⧫⧫
Ezra hears someone calling his name. But they seem so far away. He tries to move towards the voice but it's like moving through syrup. He lets himself sink back.
⧫⧫⧫
The wound is deep and spurts with blood as you pull out the foam, painting your hands in the same red as the sky outside. Pursing your lips, you apologise to him, hoping he doesn’t feel the pain. Cleaning the wound takes time but as far as you can tell the spear managed to avoid all his organs so you seal it up as best you can. The lack of oxygen is what has you truly worried, who knows what damage could have been done in the time it took you to drag him to the pod. With your medication he might heal but you can’t be sure. You fight off the thoughts of what you’d have to do if he never did wake up. Would you be able to bury him?
You sleep curled to his side, a hand on his shoulder. It’s fitful, plagued by nightmares of waking up to find him cold. Every time you wake up crying, you watch his chest rise and fall and pray, he’ll make his way back to you.
⧫⧫⧫
The next thing he hears is a clang followed by a curse, then it's silent again
⧫⧫⧫
Ezra made it through the night. To distract yourself from worrying he might never wake, you wrap him up warm and begin to repair the pod. It’s slow work but its methodical movements help regulate your breathing. Until you hear a grunt. You drop whatever you were working on and swear to yourself as you kneel by him. But he’s no more present than before. Perhaps you had imagined it. Prayed so hard you’d began torturing yourself. You look over him, how could you go on without him. No one to make you laugh, or care what happens to you. It’s justice you suppose, just another thing for you to feel guilty about. You suppose you’ll go on just to keep feeling that guilt.
Again, you barely sleep.
⧫⧫⧫
And then, as if surfacing from a dive, Ezra opens his eyes. His back hurts. He works out why as, slowly, he identifies the ceiling above him. He's lying on the floor with nothing more than a pillow and a blanket that's been tucked all around him up to his neck. He wrestles his arms free, stretching them above his head and then prodding his stomach, it's tender but the wound is closed. Then he sits up with a grunt.
You're stretching up to try and pull a ration bar of the top shelf of your measly kitchen cupboard. You swear and turn to find something to climb on and then you see Ezra.
He's sitting up, grinning from ear to ear. You nearly jump a foot into the air and then you’re frozen to the spot. He chuckles to himself and clambers to his feet, it looks difficult but you aren't sure you can move to help so you stay put as he supports himself along the wall and approaches you.
“Little bird, you are the most incredible, fascinating, stubborn creature I have ever laid my eyes upon.” And then he's pulling you into his chest, wrapping you in such a grip it's a little difficult to breath but you don't mind. You just hug him back, if gently, very aware of how he'd recently been stabbed. He buries his nose in your hair. “How long was I out?”
“Three days, I managed to melt down some meds to inject you so you… well, so you actually healed. Oh, and then I fixed the pod but it didn't feel safe to take off what with you having a hole in you.”
He laughs, you can feel it rolling through his body and it makes you grin. It's so alive.
“May I also ask why I was on the floor?” That's your cue to laugh to. 
“Do you honestly think I could lift you onto the cot?”
“Frankly little bird, I didn't think you could have got me to the pod. You are certainly a force to be reckoned with and not one to be underestimated.”
You close your eyes and breath him in. “I almost didn't make it.” He just shushes you running his hands up and down your sides.
“No point wondering what could have been birdie. You saved me.” You look up at him, his eyes are wet as he smiles down at you. “What I did to deserve it may evade my knowledge forever, but it must have been spectacular.”
You feed Ezra and then force him to stay still for the day. Even as he protests you don't really think he minds, finally getting an opportunity to finish reading ‘The Power’. You sleep curled into his side.
The next day you leave.
⧫⧫⧫
Two days floating in space before the station slings back to pick you up. The sense of relief is immense. Ezra is in the seat next to you, any other person telling such a graphic tale about a flight home wrong would've sprung anyone with nerves but you just grin. You made it, you both made it.
“Even split, little bird? Although, I can't say I find the idea of us separating particularly appealing.”
You grin, “Me neither, although I do maintain the even split, you save my arse, I save yours.”
He smirks, “I'll have your arse anytime” you smack his knee with what was formerly his copy of ‘Perfume’. He scowls playfully, tossing his own book aside and tugging you into his lap.
And then looks totally bemused as your mouth drops open, “Holy shit I can't believe I forgot!” You hop off him and he grumbles at you but watches curiously wondering what you'd forgotten that was so important. You kneel to open your pack, pulling out a gem case. A huge gem case.
“Where in that abhorrent hell did you manage to acquire that?”
“I think it was why I was told to bring down that ship, I picked it up in the bunk room.”
It's locked but you happily spend the next half an hour gently taking apart one screw at a time. Ezra watches you the whole time, not even thinking about your bounty, just enjoying how you hum to yourself and smile every time a screw comes loose, batting his hands away every time he grabs at you. It's domestic.
You meet his eye as the last screw comes loose and he joins you kneeling on the floor. “Let's not get our hopes up” you say, “We've got more than enough to last a while whatever happens.” He nods and you pull the case open.
His jaw drops. “That is remarkable.”
You meet his eye and laugh. You've never seen him look so surprised. There are three gems inside, each one about the size of your head.
He lets out a huff of laughter “I’m beginning to suspect there was nefarious business afoot on that ship…”
“Ezra?”
“Mmhm?”
“I think I'd like to go somewhere with a sea.”
“Little bird, I suspect that can be arranged” Then he kisses you, pulling you against him.
You wriggle back, “Even split?” He just grins and bites at your ear.
In no time at all you’re in his lap as you pull off each other’s clothes. He rubs his beard against your bare neck to make you giggle as he nibbles it, hands roaming all over you. You nip his collar bone making him groan, it flips a switch in him and seconds later he’s grabbing your hips to position you over his cock.
He lowers you down so slowly it makes you squirm and whimper and beg him to move.
He grins at you, catlike, “We’ve got all the time in the world, little bird. And I intend to use it”
⧫⧫⧫
Hours later you wake. Ezra is snoring quietly into your neck tempting you to rouse him. You’re thirsty though, so, reluctantly, you peel his arms off you to get a glass of water. As you return your toe catches on your suit where it lies on the floor. As you reach to move it your ring drops out of the pocket, clinking quiet onto the ground.
You bend to pick it up and look at Ezra, then back at the ring. Had you not gone through all those years in that gang of pirates, you’d never have found him, never got to save his arm or his life. You both might be dead. You had been right; you couldn’t change your past. But you’d never know what else might have happened. There’s still guilt, there always will be. But you feel a little lighter.
You put on the ring and return to Ezra. He pulls you against his chest without waking.
You smile.
~~~~~~~~
Taglist: @engineeredfiction @mothandpidgeon @sleep-tight1
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izaswritings · 3 years
Text
Title: who we are in the aftermath
Fandom: The Owl House
Synopsis: Belos falls and the Golden Guard survives. It’s a new world and a new day, and sooner or later Hunter has to figure out where he fits in it. 
Or: in which Hunter stays at the Owl House, becomes a (very, very reluctant) apprentice, continues to have accidental sibling shenanigans with the annoying human, and finally finds a place where he belongs. Probably.  
AO3 link is here.
[Next chapter is here!]
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chapter one: battling birds
They give him a room near the east side of the house, stuffed full of broken things and a miscellaneous number of random items. It’s not the human’s old room, and not Lilith’s, either—there’s too much dust and too much stuff for either option. Hunter can’t tell if he’s grateful for this or not. He’s still deciding on whether he’s grateful for the room at all.
There’s no time to set up a bed. He spends his first night here on a blanket, restless and half-awake and lying so still he’s half-convinced he’s shaking from the strain of not moving at all, not making a single sound. He can practically taste the dust on every inhale—does the Owl Lady ever clean, Titan help him—and by some godawful midnight hour Hunter gives up on sleep entirely and sits up, carefully, to whisper to his palisman. 
Nothing important. None of the real questions that are swirling around in his head, like what am I even doing here and why am I still here and what am I supposed to do now, do you know? Instead he just says nonsense things, useless things, like “If I shine a flashlight in that little demon’s face do you think I could get him to chase the dot?”
The palisman coos and chirps and sings nonsense back. Red is a pretty color. I like tulips. If we iced over the Boiling Sea could we make human rain? 
“None of those answers make sense,” Hunter tells it, and then writes a small note about the sea and rain connection on the dusty floor, if only because that’s actually kind of interesting and he wants to check it out again later. 
Red tulips are tasty, replies the palisman, and nuzzles his fingers when he goes to pet it. Its feathers are soft and its eyes are luminous in the moonlight. Nonsense, all of it, but the nonsense helps—familiar as a friend, safe and easy. Better than thinking of Belos. Better than wondering what he’s doing here, sleeping on the floor in the Owl Lady’s house.
The human has left. He could walk out right now and she’d never know, not that her disappointment has any bearing on if he chooses to stay or go. She’s vanished back to the human world, probably gone forever. This house means nothing to Hunter—the Owl Lady is annoying and dislikes him about as much as Hunter dislikes her, and as endearing as the weird little demon is, that isn’t enough to make Hunter want to stay. 
He could leave easily. He could go anywhere. He has nowhere to go.
“I don’t know what to do,” Hunter tells the palisman, at last, hours later. It is almost morning. The sunrise has only just begun, the peace of this dusty attic room wavering thin and fragile in the light of early dawn. It is a quiet admission. He says it very soft. “I don’t know if I know anything.”
I love you, says the palisman.
“That’s not an answer either.” 
Oh, well.
Twenty minutes later, the Owl Lady’s weird bird-worm security creature bursts through the window and sings good morning loud enough to shatter eardrums. Hunter grabs his staff, throws a blast at the thing on instinct, teleports to the kitchen in a panic, and smacks the Owl Lady in the face with his palisman first thing in the morning.
.
The easy explanation is this: the castle falls and Belos dies and the Golden Guard somehow survives it all: portal collapse and half-realm merge and everything, which means when the dust settles, ultimately Hunter is left with absolutely no idea of what to do with himself. 
“You should work with Eda!” says the human, in the aftermath. Given she says this in the ruin of what was once the Emperor’s castle, barely a half hour after—everything—Hunter feels pretty justified in his response. Which is to say he strangles his broken mechanical staff in his hands, takes a deep breath, and says in a very tight voice: “No.”
“But—!”
“No. No, no, no. I can’t even believe I did this, I don’t… it’s not happening. No.”
The human—he does actually know her name by now, after all they’ve been through, but also given all of This Nonsense she has lost name privileges—does not take that well. Of course she doesn’t. She’s so fourteen it makes Hunter want to die inside.  
“Why not?” the human says, petulant. She has her hands on her hips and everything. 
Hunter is kneeling in the rubble of a castle he’s called home for almost all his life. Somewhere down there is the throne where Belos used to sit; somewhere down there is a body. It’s not a surprise, really. It’s not a shock. From the moment the palisman fluttered into his life and Hunter let it stay, he always knew, deep down, that one day he was going to have to choose. 
It does not make breathing any easier. “I don’t want to,” he says. 
“You can learn wild magic! And, and glyphs! Eda knows a lot—”
“Does the Owl Lady know you’re offering up her house to an old enemy?” 
“Eda won’t mind. Well, okay, maybe she’ll mind a little, but— she’ll let you stay if I ask her!” Yeah. The Owl Lady probably would. The human has that witch wrapped around her little finger; Hunter almost snorts. “Please, just hear me out. I’m sure we can—”
“No.”
“Hunter…”
“Don’t talk like we’re friends,” Hunter hisses. He drops the broken remains of the mechanical staff and stands, his hands curled to fists. “Don’t talk like you know me. You don’t know anything. You don’t—” He can’t breathe. He drops back to his knees in the rubble and rubs a hand over his eyes. “Just stop. Please.”
The human doesn’t say anything for a long time. On his shoulder, the palisman, thus far staying silent, flutters its wings and hops down to his knee, nudging his hand with its beak. It sings nothing. Just stays there.
After a moment, the human kneels next to him. There is blood on her face and dirt staining her leggings. “I know,” she says, and she suddenly sounds very tired. “I’m sorry.” 
Hunter doesn’t say anything.
“I just—” the human starts, and then she stops. “I don’t know how else to help you.”
She looks small and weirdly sad, which makes no sense at all, because she hated Belos and never really understood why Hunter did not. (Hunter is not sure why either. If that is still something he can say. If you can betray your uncle and fight against your uncle and—and— and do these things, do everything Hunter has done, and still say that this feeling isn’t hatred.)
They aren’t friends, Hunter and the human. They have barely been allies. He doesn’t need her help, and she probably knows that as well as he does. But Hunter looks at her then, and despite the rubble and the ash and the blood on his tongue, for some reason instead of digging himself a makeshift grave he says—
“…Okay.”
Which still doesn’t really explain anything, but then, that’s just how it goes.
.
“Okay!” says the Owl Lady, smacking down her second cup of apple blood on the table. She does it too hard—a good splash of blood escapes the confines of the cup and adds yet another stain to her already-stained dining table. Hunter raises an eyebrow. The Owl Lady glares back. “House rules.”
There’s a red mark on her cheek, still, from where Hunter had hit her with his staff, and a stain all down her side from when, upon being hit with the staff, the Owl Lady spluttered and cursed and accidentally spilt the first cup of apple blood all over herself and the floor. She looks… barely awake. 
“House rules,” Hunter echoes, dryly.
“Your scorn is noted and not appreciated.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” His palisman pecks his hand lightly. “Ow.”
“Luz, you owe me one,” mutters the Owl Lady, and takes a really deep drink of her apple blood. Hunter rubs at his hand, peeved, and eyes the palisman in case it gets any more hand-pecking ideas. The palisman blinks innocently back. Hmm.
“So. First of all.” The Owl Lady raises a finger. “Break any of my stuff and I end you.”
So just like the castle, then. Hunter sees where this is going. He settles gingerly back against the chair—why, why is all of her furniture stained—and rests his cheek against one fist, already bored. “Noted.”
The Owl Lady puts up a second finger. There’s a long silence.
“…Seriously?” says Hunter.
“Quiet, you.” She snaps her fingers. “Hah! Got one! Hurt King or Luz or Hooty or anyone I like in any way and I’ll destroy you. Yeah, that works.”
Hunter gets the sneaking suspicion these house rules are being made up on the spot, and are also only for him. He knows better than to say that aloud. “Fine.” Wait. “How am I supposed to know which random people you like or dislike?”
The Owl Lady grins. Her gold fang glints. “That sounds like a you problem, don’t you think?” She cackles a little. “Guess you’ll just have to find out! Or, you know. Maybe don’t attack anyone? That’s a start.” 
Her owl palisman coos a little. Her nose wrinkles. “What? What do you mean that’s hypocritical? Stay out of this, Owlbert, I’m teaching life lessons or something.” Her eyes turn to him. “Anyway. You get the gist.”
Hunter’s hand is curled white-knuckled around his knee. His palisman flutters from the table to his shoulder, singing nonsense again. Red tulips, so tasty. Its feathers brush against his cheek. 
He pries his grip off his knee one finger at a time. “…Understood.”
“Good.” The Owl Lady stands and stretches, yawning wide into one hand. “Anyway, I’ll give you a pass for this morning, because Hooty can be…” She trails off. Outside, muffled by the front door, the bird-worm creature shouts “HOOT” at full volume and then smacks into a tree.
“…a lot,” decides the Owl Lady. “But seriously, keep the windows locked. I don’t want you trying to blast him and burning my house down. I just got it back.”
Hunter says nothing. The Owl Lady squints at him and then picks her mug back up. “Riiiight… well, good talk, I guess. Get some more sleep, kid, you look worse than Luz after an all-nighter.” She waits. Hunter raises an eyebrow at her. “Ugh. I don’t know why I agreed to this.”
At least Hunter isn’t the only one second-guessing everything. Still, that reminds him. “The human.”
“Luz,” says the Owl Lady, unimpressed. 
“Yeah, whatever.” He links his fingers. The palisman flies down from his shoulder to his cupped hands, and hops a determined circle in his palm for no apparent reason. Hunter watches it play. “…Is she coming back?”
“What, tired of our company already?” 
“Yes,” Hunter says, because obviously.
“Rude. Well, can’t say the feeling isn’t mutual.” There’s a long silence. The Owl Lady sighs. “Luz… she promised she’d come back. You were there, weren’t you?”
Yeah, he had been. Standing in the back of the group, on the fringes of the goodbye. Two hours after the end, and the human had already roped the Owl Lady into letting Hunter live in her stupid owl house, and also somehow run around hugging pretty much everyone. And then she’d stepped through the mirrors that were all that remained of the realm-merge between her world and theirs, and not come back since. 
She had, indeed, promised to return. But that was hours ago; that was yesterday. The mirrors are gone and no doors remain. And Hunter does not put much faith in promises. 
“And when,” he asks the Owl Lady, a little lofty, a little snide. “When, exactly, do you think she’s coming back?”
The Owl Lady’s eyes narrow. Her lips press thin. For a moment he thinks she might snap at him, but then her shoulders slump, and in the end she just looks away.
“I don’t know,” the Owl Lady admits. 
Useless, Hunter thinks. But he doesn’t say it. Just nods and turns away to head back upstairs and make that stupid dusty storage room somewhat presentable, because if he’s going to be staying here for—for—for whatever amount of time he ends up staying here, he’s going to breathe actual air instead of dust, thanks.
“Remember, kid! House rules!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Hunter says, and teleports back up the stairs without a single glance back.
.
Hunter manages to shove all the junk into one corner and make the start of a fairly presentable bed in the other corner by the time the human re-arrives in the Boiling Isles and throws open his door hard enough to smack it against the wall.
“You took my advice!” shouts the human, at the top of her lungs.
“Hiiiiii,” says Hunter, hands over his ears. The human takes a deep breath. Hunter closes the door in her face. “Byeeee.”
“Hey!”
“Why are you yelling.”
“I can’t believe you’re here!”
It’s just nonsensical enough to get him to open the door. Why does this always happen to him? Why is the human like this? “You said I should come here! You said—”
“Psh,” says the human and flaps a hand in his face. Hunter stops mid-word, gritting his teeth, practically feeling his whole face turn bright red with rage. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way! I just— I didn’t think you would actually listen! But you’re here!” She’s beaming. Hunter looks away. Her smile fades. “…Are you okay?”
He can’t sleep. His eyes are hot and burning like he wants to cry and he has no idea why. His uncle is dead. 
“No,” he tells her. “No one in this house dusts. I’ve forgotten what air tastes like.”
“Psh-haw! I’m sure it's not that…” The human steps inside, inhales, and chokes. “Oh. Ay Dios mío. Wow, this room has not been dusted.”
“I noticed!”
“Oh, man.” She hides her nose in her elbow and sidles outside again. She’s wearing her weird human clothes and her palisman staff strapped to her back. She looks tired, and a little like she has no idea what she’s doing here either. She lingers in the door almost awkwardly, rolling back and forth from her heels to her toes. 
Hunter watches her for a long moment. “You came back.”
“Haha. What gave it away?” But the smile she gives is small and blinding, brighter than the sun. “Watch this.”
“Watch wha—” The human lifts her hand and trails it through the air, dragging her fingers down in a straight line. Golden light follows her fingers. It breaks the air like a fractured mirror, a rift sparking to life in the hallway, the dark greens and blues of a galaxy intertwined with a burning glow. Hunter’s voice dies in his throat. 
“If I push at it, it opens. Like a door. It leads me right home.” She’s smiling so wide it must hurt. The portal almost seems to whisper; the golden glow of the rift shines in her eyes and catches on her face, still tear-streaked. The human’s cried over this. She’s right to. The human world and the Boiling Isles—she has found a way to keep both.
Presumably he thinks he should be jealous. Instead he finds himself smiling too. “I’m glad,” Hunter tells her. “That’s… pretty cool.”
“Right!?” She bounces on her heels and waves a hand through the rift, dismissing it into nothing. “I can’t wait to show Amity. And Eda. And King. And you! The human world is—it’s amazing. The rain doesn’t kill you even a little bit!”
It takes sudden effort to keep up the smile. “…I’ve heard.” 
“Anyway, I just came by to say hi. Eda said you were here, and—” She stops, visibly hesitating. Her head lowers. “I know… I know this must be hard. And that we aren’t really friends. But… if you need anyone to talk to… I’m here.” She peeks up her head a little, grinning. “After all, we’re house buddies now!”
“Human,” Hunter says. Her nose wrinkles. He sighs. “Luz.”
“Yeah?” 
There’s so much he could say that for a moment he has no idea where to start. Why did you think this was a good idea. Please stop talking. Why are you so insistent that we could be friends. I didn’t say I was staying here for long. I’m very tired. You’re bizarrely forgiving. My uncle is dead because of you. 
“…Thanks,” he says. “And— I’m sorry.”
Luz blinks at him. Then she grins. “Noooo problem, ol’ buddy ol’ pal!”
Hunter shoves her stupid smiling face away and closes the door on her toes. Luz yelps and swears and kicks at the door, and yells rude things in that other human language of hers. “Byeeeee,” Hunter says, and behind the closed door, Luz makes a muffled noise of rage and shouts, “Would you stop saying that!?”
And it doesn’t make things better but it doesn’t make things any worse, either, and when Hunter turns away he is almost smiling—so maybe it’s okay. 
.
The sun sets. The dusty room has been aired out to its best ability, and Hunter has made a somewhat functional and comfy-looking bed in the corner. A sticky note with the boiling sea + ice = human rain idea has been ceremoniously pinned to the empty wall space. In addition to the sticky notes, Luz has donated his “sad, bad boy room” what looks to be a dying houseplant. Hunter suspects she gave it to him purely because she has despaired of trying to keep it alive herself.  
He puts the plant on the windowsill. The palisman apparently loves it. Maybe he should find red tulips for it to eat. Whatever a red tulip is.
He settles next to the palisman on the windowsill, and strokes its head with his finger. He feels strangled and small and the sunset looks alien to him. Everything has changed. Everything is over. He is a powerless witch with a wild magic staff, and he will never be the Golden Guard again.
His eyes burn. He blinks fast. Far down below, he can hear the Owl Lady and Luz arguing over dinner.
“I still don’t know what I’m doing here,” Hunter tells the palisman. The sunset makes all the trees look shadow-like and sharp, outlined in red. It reminds him of his palisman, a little bit. “I don’t even like these people. What do you think? Is it too late to head back and dig myself a grave in the rubble?”
I’m happy I know you, chirps the palisman. It hops from the dying houseplant to the top of his head.  I love you, I love you.
His throat feels tight. “…That still isn’t a real answer.”
I want apple blood for breakfast tomorrow. The palisman nibbles at his hair. It looks tasty.
He’s quiet for a long moment. Then he closes his eyes. “Okay. If— if you say so.” 
The sun is setting, and the light is warm on his face. The Boiling Isles feels, for once, almost something like peaceful. It probably won’t last.
“We’ll stay.” 
110 notes · View notes
ellitx · 4 years
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Chapter 3: Song of the Ancients
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𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁
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art belongs to _01ki_
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           If someone would ask Venti what happened, he’ll simply give a smile and say it’s nothing. But in this situation, one can feel the uncanny and dangerous aura surrounding him. It’s either they know not to press any further or they’re too naive to understand what’s going on.
           It’s unusual for the happy-go-lucky bard to be silent, there’s no doubt about that. His eyes scanned the grass and see if there’s anything out of place there. Something that might be left behind. 
           In the old ruins of the former city of freedom, there was nothing for his mind to hang onto. There was no familiar sight of you, no sound of your breathing other than the howling of the air. Only the heart beating in his chest stopped him from becoming frozen like Snezhnaya’s landscapes.
           When he twirled around to at least see the tracks you have left, there were none. The only way to navigate you was by the sun, birds, and winds.
           He bit the inside of his cheek, drawing out blood unwittingly. The taste of iron meeting his tongue brought him out of his mind. He swayed his head and knelt down, feeling the meadow with his fingers. 
           Calm down, she couldn’t have gone that far.
           Right, there’s no need to panic. Maybe you have started wandering the place out of curiosity and see what has changed. He remembered he marked you with Anemo last night, he could try it to track you.
           His fingers twirled and called the winds if there would be any signs of your presence nearby. Expecting a response, only silence greeted him.
           No gust of the Mondstadt breeze came by to answer him.
           He clenched his fists so hard that nails cut into his skin as his brows dug on his front. He called the gales once more and this time he waited a little bit longer. A minute passed, then five minutes and there was still nothing.
           In the grip of silent panic, his eyes dilated and his heart began to race. He hoisted himself up from the ground and looked around in sheer distress. Emerald optics meandered everywhere like the wings of a hummingbird.
           How could this be? I swear the mark should still remain on her, the effect should last for more than a day.
           Venti’s eyes caught the sight of a small orb laying not so far away from where he was standing. He jogged to where the said item was and grabbed it hastily. 
           It’s the emblem hanging on your dress.
           A slight crack can be seen from it. This was his chance if he can see if there would be any anemo marks lingering. He hopes it would. He can’t bring himself to the thought of losing you, let alone letting you wander with dangerous monsters hidden here.
           Once again, he used his powers to summon the winds to look for you. Each second that passed by seemed like an hour, and each time they elapsed the more he tightly grips on the insignia.
           It didn’t really faze him when the sharp glass cut his skin. What did was the fact there was no response and it reminded him you’re missing. He shouldn’t have left you. He blamed himself for this.
           His pulse raced and breathed heavily, almost as if he would burst. He narrowed his eyes at the insignia and threw it to the ground making it shatter into pieces. Not like you would need that anyway, he can just give you an Anemo Vision and he’ll gladly offer it to you if you asked.
           It’s better if you hide the identity of being the former Anemo Archon’s daughter. A certain member of the Four Winds will not be so delighted to know about your existence. He opened his palm and silently watched the blood ooze out from his skin, slightly wincing at the stinging sensation.
           Venti carelessly wiped it off using his cape and made headway in his search for you. Where could you be in this time and place that are only filled with nothing but ruins? He hardly remembers what this city used to look like before.
           Ah, if only you would sing or just talk or anything that’ll allow him to hear your voice, he can definitely find you with ease. His breathing turned shaky and scanned the area if he could see your familiar silhouette.
           Not good. [Name], where are you?
           Every step he takes, the more the winds are getting colder, sharper, and stronger. Those poor anemo slimes ran away from him in fear, yet some were unfortunate they were struck by the sharp tip of the arrow causing them to burst.
           His slender fingers pressed onto the skin of his forearms, nails biting on the layer of fine dust, drawing marks of cuts. How many times had he hurt himself already? He didn’t bother counting it, what matters is finding you as soon as possible.
           And lo and behold, they’ve finally heard his urgent calls and wishes of you. He can hear your voice from a distance that is filled with melodious tunes. He searched for where the source of your singing might be coming from.
           His eyes brightened up and now he was brimming with hope. It was hypnotizing, almost like he was enamored by your angelic song. He continued to run and run until it was getting louder and louder.
           The edges of his lips tugged upwards so widely and he knew he was getting closer. Your voice was smooth and clear and quiet yet powerful. Soothing, in a way. Just the way he loves it. It was the promise of tomorrow, a new hope. It’s so beautiful, he wished that you wouldn’t stop.
           He pumped his legs, gaining momentum with each push. At last, he finally found you with your back facing him, but his smile faltered when he saw your hand was caressing the snout of his dear dragon friend. 
           Turbulence and skepticism were written all over his face.
           “Dvalin…?” Since when did he arrive here? He could’ve known he’s back if he saw him flying from the sky, yet why is he not aware of this unannounced sojourn? Your calm and gentle song was put to an end when you made clear of his familiar voice. You turned your head and faced the bard in wonderment.
           “Oh, Venti. I didn’t see you there.” You put down your hand and watched him approach the dragon. He petted Dvalin and lightly asked, “When did you come?” He can feel the dragon’s breathing and so he backed away and stood next to you.
           “Not too long ago,” Your eyes widened in surprise seeing a dragon talk right in front of you. It was really astonishing for you how you’ve missed so many things in the past years. Your shoulders tensed when his blue flamed eyes were cast towards you.
           “Her song… is she the one you’ve always been waiting for?” Venti’s entire body jerked to a standstill unexpectedly. He closed his eyes and smiled as he pulled you close to him.
           “Yes. You’ve been wanting to see her as well, right?” You can sense his grip on your waist was put under a little pressure. Observing his hand, you saw how bloody it was that it already stained your white dress. 
           “Well anyway, it’s good to see you again— huh?” The bard arched his brow when you took his hand and looked at it. “What happened to you? Your hand… it has so many gashes.”
           Carefully handling his wounded palm, you looked around the area if you could find any familiar leaves and flowers that could cure and prevent it from infecting any further. Venti’s posture relaxed, softened, marveling at your heedfulness and concern that is only for him.
           Maybe this could be a good opportunity for him to get close to you. You always worry about him and treat him every time he’s injured. Normal thoughts barely formed in his mind before they were replaced with the melancholy longing and fantasies of what could be if he were only brave enough to tell you.
           The sunshine had no meaning for him unless he could be with you. He daydreamed about every feature of your face, he recalled every way he had never seen you tied your hair and just let it flow freely. He had logged all of your quirky mannerisms to his brain. 
           Some call it bewitched; Venti calls it love. For there is an emptiness in the freedom of being alone and liberty in being caught by your divine spell. And so when he sees in your eyes the feelings of his heart, it’s like you’ve been connected with him as one.
           And if it isn’t some kind of magic you cast on him, then he can’t say what it is.
           He leaned forward and nuzzled between your shoulder and neck, whining your name. You yelped in surprise when he lightly bit your skin and sent you featherlight kisses on it. 
           A slow smile crept up to his face when you square your shoulders in coyness. “Maybe kissing it would heal me?” His breathing tickled your ear as he whispered so closely with a hint of sensuality, almost like it was only for you to be heard.
           You puffed your cheeks at his words and slapped his back only for you to earn a chuckle. “I’m being serious,” you groaned. Venti crooned and buried his face deeply, swaying your bodies together.
           His gaze faltered to Dvalin who silently watched both of you indifferently. “No need to fret, love. I can simply heal these away in no time.” It was his first time calling you such sweet names. Though, he does hope you wouldn’t mind if he continues giving you more lovely epithets just to see your reaction.
            Seeing you fidgety and flustered really made him want to keep you all for himself and attack you with his love; yearning, longing, and adoration. He wanted to show these to you and he knows— he knows very well you also felt the same for him.
           The dragon was quiet, that he noticed. The way he looked at both of them made Venti feel uneasy for some reason. “Barbat—“
           “Oh! Were you perhaps yearning for her song as well, Dvalin?” The bard immediately queried the wyvern with a smile, however, it sunk and was replaced with an apologetic demeanor. “Maybe [Name] could entertain you later? She’s not yet accustomed here.”
           “I’ll show her around first.” His other hand went down to your back and dragged you as he led onwards. Bewilderment was written all over your face when Venti started drawing you away from the blue creature. “Huh? Venti, what about—“
           “My hand? No worries, I know a place where we can treat it.” You looked back to the dragon and dubiously allowed him to lead you. It caused your heart to twinge in guilt departing from the dragon friend you have recently been familiar with will be left all alone here.
           You watched your feet take steps across the grassy land, your bare feet next to the shined leather shoes of the bard. Venti lightly swayed your arms back and forth together with his legs carrying him quickly to their final destination whilst he hums a tune. 
           Your stroll ended and you were in front of a pristine lake. A wave of nostalgia washed over you seeing the familiar lagoon. “It brings back memories, right?” Venti started and neared the body of water along with you.
           You nodded in affirmation, quite speechless and surprise this was the only area left unscathed. You knelt down on both knees and draped your hand over the liquid, rippling from the slightest of your touch.
            It shone like millions of diamonds when each ray of the sun hit the surface. You’ve spotted there were no signs of fish or goose swimming around. It was quite odd though you just brush it off and ignore it.
           Venti sat next to you and obliged when you motioned for him to wash his bloodied hand. The water is cold, nothing he can do about that. You took his injured palm while your other hand cupped the water and wash it over to remove the bloodstains. 
           Drips of red fell down and slowly died out once the pure and clear lake dissolved it. Before you could tear a portion of your dress, he had already stopped you from doing it by grabbing your wrist.
           “This should be good enough.” You pressed your lips to a thin line, his words not really assuring your worries. He laughed at your adorable face and squeezed your cheeks playfully. Heaving a sigh in defeat, you leaned against him and propped your head on his shoulder.
           You keep an eye on his hand carefully and observe a teal mist surrounding it. The scars started to close up and his skin was clean from stains and wounds as if his palm wasn’t even injured in the first place. 
           You clasped it with yours and let the tip of your fingers graze over like a fragile diamond. “Can you still kiss it for me?” Venti asked innocently and peered at you pleadingly. 
           You hummed in thought then smiled, continuing to draw figures around it before entwining your fingers together closely. Venti puckered his lips and whined when you didn’t respond. 
           Were you teasing him? It made him nervous yet excited at the same time. You notice how his throat bobbed so obviously like he was struggling to gulp down. You were pushing his buttons when your fingers trailed over his arm. He’s captivated by your charms once more and oh how he loves your approach.
           You held up his hand close to your lips and gave it a light peck. “There.” You beamed, smiling sweetly at him. You saw the shock registered on Venti’s face before he could hide it. A small smile played on your lips.
           It wasn’t what you said though, your words were like vanilla pudding, sweet in their ordinary sort of way, it was the richness of your tone— luxurious and warm. Aside from that, your kiss surprised him the most. He didn’t get that a lot and receiving it from you was like a blessing.
           He wriggled himself from you and laid his head on your lap, searching for a comfortable spot until he relaxed against you. And just as he expected, you removed the hair tie from his braided hair and ran a hand through his hair. It’s amazing how you still remember and know what he wants.
           Your voice softly echoed in the vast land, singing the previous song he heard before. So sweet, so angelic. His eyelids started to droop, letting himself get lost in your melodic tunes and drift off to wonderland.
           The lyrics swam through his cerebral cortex like a wakeful dream, the voice relaxing him, enabling the song to call to his entire being. Your singing could never be something superfluous to him, it is medicine delivered in the most divine way.
           Before he was awake, a hum saunters in his dream. The gentle tones of you. The humming began to fade until his mind figured out the melody. He had heard so many ballads and sang them before yet this is something he has never encountered in his life.
           His eyes gently opened, and there you are wearing your usual sweet smiles. His lips tugged at the sight of your delicate features and caressed your cheek tenderly.
           “Your voice... It’s so beautiful. I can listen to it all day.”
           There's a kind of blushing that shows the soul, a sort of compliment to the eyes and the delicate sweetness within. It shows a connection, that the smile and shyness come from some deep emotion... and that's a beautiful thing, that's something real.
           “I’ve never heard of that song before. Did you compose it yourself?” Your friend asked as he enjoys himself laying on your lap as a pillow. “Not really. My mother always sings this to me.” You answered and resumed playing with his dark hair.
           The sound of bell chiming made your head turn to look down at the small wisp wiggling against you. “Oh, did I wake you up?” You questioned while patting its small head.
           It shook its head and cuddled on your soft hands letting out a happy ring. “Seems like he loves your song as well.” The bard remarked and lifted himself, stretching his arms to relieve the cramps.
           The wind wisp settled himself on your shoulder and twirled joyfully. “I can’t fully comprehend what the lyrics are though. It’s almost…gibberish b-but beautiful nonetheless!” The young male quickly remarked, not wanting to offend you and your song.
           You played with the little creature before turning to him. “Ah that. It’s because it’s a forgotten language.” All in all, you weren’t really insulted by his words, rather it amused you.
           Not many people know about the ancient and forgotten language, and you yourself don’t even know what the lyrics mean. The words are stuck inside your head like a broken gramophone together with the tune. 
           “I really like it. It sounds so enchanting especially with your voice.” He commented and grinned at you. A small blush formed on your cheeks and averted your gaze away from him.
           Your cheeks are as round as your face. They’re always rosy as if you’re shy all the time, which isn’t a lie at all. There has been only one time when he’d actually seen you ashamed. Not only your cheeks, but he can see clearly the tips of your ears burning red. 
           He hadn’t known you feel more than you express, until then, when you turn to hide in the most gentle way. What happens next he's going to want to remember for a long time, so while his gaze is soft he doesn't drop his eyes for a moment.
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bibliocratic · 3 years
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How about Jon Martin and the cursed trip to IKEA?
Thanks for the prompt! :D
I’m sure this absolutely could have been read as like ‘IKEA is not-so-secretly a Spiral domain’ but this non-Euclidean hell-hole is of mortal making I’m sure of it.
(I love and fear you IKEA, never change <3)
 --
“I simply don’t see the reason why we’d ever need them.”
“If we have guests over!”
“We’ve never had guests over.”
“One day we might!”
“And over for what?”
“I dunno! Dinner or something, make a night of it.”
“Martin, neither of us can cook.”
“Well, we could learn.”
“Alright, fine. Pushing that to one side for the moment, my question is why do our hypothetical guests require a different set of fancier cutlery? What’s wrong with the ones we’ve got at home?”
“I mean, nothing really, just… well, it’s a thing, isn’t it? Having some nice stuff to bring out if people come round.”
“Will we be moving on to the fine china aisle next?”
“Maybe! Ha, ha, don’t give me that look – Why not splash out a little? At worst, we just have more forks and some extra knives.”
“…Alright, fine.”
“Yeah?”
“Before I come to my senses. But I reserve the right to refuse guests the good cutlery if they’re undeserving.”
“What, are you planning some rigorous questionnaire they’ve got to pass first?”
“Absolutely. Come on then, the fine china awaits.”
--
Alfonse has never really been one for home improvement. He’s got a rolled-up stick of posters that he’s dragged around from his old room to student digs to slightly nicer student digs since he was a teenager, their corners creased and dotted with blue-tack stains. He’s had the same chipped plate, chipped bowl, chipped cup set since uni, and has been belligerent about swapping them out for anything less likely to shatter the next time he puts it in the dishwasher. But it’s their first flat together, and it feels real, and grown-up, and kind of scary, and he thinks that it’s important to get this part right, to set their life together off with a different start than the other places. Meaning that now, somehow, they’ve got a squeaky-wheeled trolley full of pillows and a cheese grater and storage containers that aren’t see-through plastic boxes and honest-to-god frames for his Quentin Tarantino posters. He’s finding himself entertaining the rather luxurious thought of buying a large and leafy potted plant to brighten up their cramped living room.
Tom is in his element here, and he’s put on his ridiculous reading glasses that Alfonse says make him look like Dame Edna, peering over their chunky glittery frames to inspect the ballroom’s worth of lighting they’ve found themselves amongst. He’s humming as he does so, making notations with the pint-sized pencil they collected at the door. Alfonse is entirely content to let him take the reigns on this one.
He idly people-watches for a while, making noises of interest at another floor lamp when it’s expected of him – the students clearing out the kitchenware section, lugging around the straining blue blags, the parents with children who have been swayed by the toys – before he catches sight of a man circling the desk lamps. Glancing down at his phone, gnawing on his lower lip with some discontent before he glances up and around the terrain before frowning. He swings his phone in an arc, giving the hope of it a hopeful tap, muttering a comeoncomeoncomeon under his breath.
His mobile gives a chirpy buzz, and the man almost hits himself in the ear with the force of answering.
“Where are you?” Alfonse overhears. “I can’t… Jon… Jon, you’re breaking up, yeah, the signal’s… Jon. I’m by the lamps… The lamps. Lamps. I’ve got the trolley, yes, yes – you… hello?”
Alfonse hears a very emphatic fuck’s sake before he decides to go back to Tom and leave the man suffer in private.
--
Sinead’s planted herself on one of the sofas in the well-lit display areas and has committed to not budging an inch for at least ten minutes. The fabric is a cheery yellow, and it suits the colour-coordinated pretend living room, but she’s not sure she’d choose it herself.
She’s getting a headache. Mel’s off with her nephews and nieces over in the kid’s bedroom section and she just needs five more minutes before she can look at another floral wallpaper or toy car bed.
She’s disrupted from massaging her temples by an irate-looking man with some rather intense eyebrow game throwing himself down on the half-egg-shaped armchair nearby, letting forth a truly impressively disgruntled sigh.
“You look like you’re suffering,” she offers, because she is and she wants to know someone else is too, and he nods peevishly and gives another irritated noise.
“I didn’t realise there’d be so much drama involved in buying a sofa,” he grumbles.
“Amen,” she agrees. They share a quiet moment of strung-out solidarity as they sit moulded into the seat cushions.
“… What’s that one called?” the man asks after a moment of stewing in his own mood.
She shrugs but picks up the tag and squints at it.
“Brathult? With one of those… those A’s that have the little bobble hat. Apparently, it comes in yellow, blue and green.”
“Comfortable?”
“Not bad.”
“Hm.” For a while he goes silent. Then he points out two sofas tucked into different displays and artfully layered with appropriate throw pillows; the first, a stocky black number set upon a sleek wooden frame that serve as its legs, the second, a dense cuboid of cushions currently being looked over by in fastidious detail by a tussle-haired man wearing a t-shirt covered in lots of small cartoon cacti.
“Between that one and that one,” her companion in furniture-based suffering says. “What do you think?”
Sinead studies them carefully.
“The second.”
He huffs. It was clearly not the answer he wanted.
“Why?”
“Not sure. I guess, yeah, it’s not as flashy, but the cushions look deeper. And there’s more width there, even just looking at them.”
“But the first one has all that space under it to store things.”
“Yeah, but you just know it’s going to build up with dust, and you’d be having to get the hoover under it all the time. It seems a bit finnicky.”
The man gives a considering nod.
“You’re right.”
He hefts himself up and calls over to the other display room: “Martin!”
The tussle-haired man whirls around.
Her companion holds up his hands. “You were right. The second one.”
The tussle-haired man looks smugly victorious. Sinead tries to hide her smirk at the sight.
--
Andy’s heaving the flat-pack box for a small bookcase into their trolley when they hear a conversation bleed through from the other side of the huge metal shelves in the warehouse part of the store.
“I’ve got it, I’ve got it.”
“It’s coming down on my side – woahwoahwoah – ”
“It’s – Christ, swing it this way a bit – ”
“I’ve not – Jon, I’ve not got – it’s – Jon, it’s slipping.”
“Put it down – DOWN – yes, that’s… Right. Let’s… let’s just have a moment. Catch our breath.”
“God, why’s it so heavy? It’s not like it’s even that big!”
Andy pops their head around to the other side of the shelf. Two men are puffing and sweaty, the colour on their faces blooming with exertion. Between the two of them is the long and bulky cardboard box they are clearly trying to manhandle into their trolley.
“Do you… um, do you need a hand?” they ask.
The shorter one waves a polite but dismissive hand before they manage to wrangle some air into their lungs.
“We’re good, thanks.” He says. The taller one raises an eyebrow.
Andy knows well enough to leave them to it.
--
“Hmmm! You weren’t lying about the meatballs.”
“I know right, like, what’s the secret?”
“Probably E-numbers.”
“Don’t ruin these for me, Jon!”
“Haha, alright. Help me out with the chips?”
“You finished?”
“The hot dog was enough, I’m getting full.”
“Pass them over then…. You know, I think we did alright with our spoils today. And it wasn’t so bad, all told.”
“We have to get this all in the car yet.”
“God, don’t remind me.”
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