#my jokes and headcanons about him love to manifest in reality

[inafieldofdaisies]

[jovenshires]

Hey so remember that band au

Do you have any brainrot scraps I could eat

i dont have anything like Publishable but yeah absolutely i got some scraps!! here is the tag for anyone seeing this and is like. What is she Talking about LNDFNFNLK

here is a quick social media edit for the chosen that i ended up not using in the overall edit

i dont think i've revealed who explicitly is in what band yet so have a fun lil guessing game as i give you a sneak peak at ftc's tracklist ! (easy mode xoxo)

and as a bonus some random headcanons under the cut bc why not:

courtney and spencer are long-time childhood friends, and they've been making music together since they were like. 7 and 11 respectively. spencer met shayne and damien in college and they've been in a band ever since!!

if you walk into any of the dressing rooms of every member of the chosen, they are listening to such different music to get ready it would actually make your heads spin. out of their botb fellow contestants, damien is most likely to listen to conventry (bc he's literally never been wrong), courtney is bumping kolivition, spencer is playing some classic smosh, and shayne is listening to ftc!!

i have in my brain what all of the songs are like. About ya know. so for example damien did the backing vocals for augustus and i have this idea in my brain that like. augustus IS this universe's manifestation of the character augustus. so like i think all of the chosen has a hand in writing the songs and damien co-wrote this one and it's just like. about a lonely lost kid who's awkward and doesn't fit in. like obviously it's a much less joking interpretation and more of a serious one but anyway it's still about him. is this making sense? i have No idea anymore!

courtney has also done some co-/backing vocals, and is the most likely to be featured on a track! she's featured on nuclear rain, and she also does a fun lil harmony for 'shoot dood.' shayne is the only one that has not sung and their fans keep begging but he REFUSES

'down bad' is their first like... love song? although it's technically just about how embarrassing being vulnerable and being in love are. smth smth the overwhelming ordeal of loving someone.

anyway it also opens with a snippet of a voicemail from kiana to spencer (probably from like years ago not about anything relevant) telling him to 'get up girl'. kiana is Not here for the fame, in fact she would rather no one knew who she was but unfortunately life be like this. after the ep drops the media goes fucking Nuts with rumors of whether or not they're dating.

they have fans who love the whole band but the amount of damien girls is of course insane. the other three mock him relentlessly for it. there is an entire instagram dedicated to updates about his hair.

lisa has put spencer on twitter timeout several times especially from the band's twitter bc he is Terrible for publicity. the order of worst to best for tweeting are: spencer, shayne, courtney, and damien

courtney takes selfies at EVERY live show they do; they have a collage of them as their phone background!!

as soon as courtney hears jackie is gonna be one of the judges for botb. hyperventilating. she loses her god damn mind. THE jacklyn uweh? famous recording artist? that's her shower sing-along playlist. lisa has explicitly banned them from any fangirling until the battle is Over

"up & coming" is like a netflix reality show about small bands really trying to make it, and they were featured after kiana got in contact with the showrunner. it basically followed them as they made their third ep and interviewed them and people they know. it's very much a 'before they were famous moment.'

damien bet shayne $20 that he wouldn't stare into the camera in every single shot. shayne committed to the bit. no one said anything and they kept every single shot in and NO ONE knows why.

[variousqueerthings]

@jerottblyth I was writing this in the replies of your “ a glimpse of BJ's post-series white picket fence” and then I got annoyed with the limit, so!

I just rewatched the episode with Hawkeye's ex that he didn't marry (twice), and BJ talks about how he's never even been tempted by another woman, vs later on cheating once (I believe in s5 -- the first BJ episode I really commented on, because it surprised me at the time and I couldn’t place him or it), and then later on him considering leaving Peg for the reporter... 

and then I watched some bits of Inga (s7 -- the last of the relatively what I call “good boy BJ” seasons, and the season that ends on all the main cast family members meeting one another, which idk, I just place at an interesting juncture narratively) in which he talks about himself and Peg as equals/her as a woman who has a mind being a good thing, and how that contrasts with the especially 8-onwards intense reactions he has to her growing into a more and more independent person -- changed beyond the person he knew before he left, changed without him, changed to no longer needing him, changed into a reality he cannot return to and pick up from as if he never even left in the first place (not that I read BJ as conservative for the day technically, but that she’s not the person that said goodbye to him and that manifests in unintentionally sexist ways, where he gets upset by her just living her life, when he needs her to be a symbol of unchanging normality that turns back on the second he’s back in the picture and youknow... that’s fucked up sir)

I think it fits with the weariness of the later seasons: BJ s8-onwards getting more cruel and lashing out more, and him and Hawkeye increasingly acting like an unstable relationship in which Hawkeye often plays the role of the placating wife to an emotionally unpredictable husband. I make it heterosexual on purpose, my headcanons about BJ do veer more towards him having a het read of whatever is going on between him and Hawkeye -- first evidenced that one time he was physically violent, and Hawkeye was both an outlet and a consoling partner and BJ was jealous of not getting to be a partner to Peg/father to Erin, and jealous of Trapper’s relationship to Hawkeye at the same time??? 

Long story short there is a trajectory for sure, from the man who arrives to the guy I’m seeing now (one more episode left before the finale!), and yeah, I definitely like to read it as the fantasy-of-home bit by bit falling to pieces around him, and also the guilt at all of that heroic all-American fantasy of war not being what the reality is, and maybe feeling like an idiot for believing in any of it in the first place (he had that line where he mentioned that he had the chance to not get drafted and he wanted to do the honourable thing, or something along that phrasing, and he has a few episodes in which he does try to play hero of a kind, like in BJ Papa San and he gets very upset when he can’t save the day), and of course the guilt at all of his personal failings, especially -- I decide to headcanon -- the fact that he did cheat. The evil of the situation seeped into him and made him a “lesser” man than what he was 

and all of that manifesting his pettiness (which was clearly something that was already there, although pointed in the direction of acceptable targets like Frank or bad guys of the week, or that old friend he had who was Also A Dick and how that suggests some of BJ’s past, or even Charles, soz Chuck -- because BJ is a Good Guy Honest). 

And now I’m on my rewatch at the same time, and almost finished s4, and looking at it from the pov of that trajectory, it’s very fun looking for early-season-in-hindsight cracks in the “good boy persona”

and with all of that, I do enjoy currently joking about how he’s the end-series villain (Frank is gone, Charles isn’t the main source of conflict, Margaret has long since developed into the love of my life...) but the most interesting thing about it is of course that the story doesn’t end with a villain, it just ends with broken people, from what I see -- BJ is not a bad guy, certainly not in comparison to the likes of someone like Frank, he’s just... not coping at all. And some of the things he does are seriously messed up, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he does more things like that before the end.......

I do like seeing how different characters break, and BJ’s breaking is oh so very messy/shrapnel filled

[levisblackbabe]

Headcanons of Aot boys with a black gf

Characters: Eren Jeager , Armin Arlert, Levi Ackerman, Connie Springer and Jean Kirstein x fem black reader (separate)

Genre: Mostly fluff, slight angst, deffo crack, (everyone is +18)

Warnings: Language, a bit toxic, slightly suggestive

Wc: 1500+ (Each character is about 300-400 words)

Eren Jeager (The lowkey Toxic one)

· Lowkey scared of y/n because she reminds him of Levi when she is angry, and he knows she will beat his ass if necessary

· Started out as friends but he has always liked y/n

· He initially asked you out as a dare and you only found out after 6 weeks where you broke up 😐

· This legit started the cycle of breaking and getting back together (he never cheated though just a lil bit toxic)

· He is very possessive and controlling which also lead to your break ups

· Even though you have your ups and down he is mostly a good boyfriend

· He plays basketball so every time he is practising on his own, he asks you to be there for rebounds (in reality he just wants you near him baso 24/7)

· Loves your smell so he steals those items might be your lotion, hair products or perfume

· Loves your natural hair and just touches it without permission after a couple times you just gave up telling him off

· He was confused on why you changed your hair so often

· When you guys first started dating you came with box braids rather then your usual bun and he deadass thought you were somebody else 💀he was so confused on why this stranger was touching him up (this mf loyal cuz he was ready to punch you)

· He was soooo scared of meeting your parents (had to call Armin to ask for advice)

· Your family at first didn’t like him cuz of the constant breaking up but they grew to tolerate him (however your older brother doesn’t)

· Loves taking pictures of you during facetime, golden hour or whenever and saves them in a folder (simp)

· Loves your cooking soo much that he goes collect tubber ware of food worth a week and stocks up his fridge

· He loves when you speak to him in another language so he pisses you off so you can cuss him out in your native tongue

· He barely calls your name its either babe or some cringey name like bubbs or something (however if you hear your full name leave his month rip)

Armin Artlet (The simp)

· SHY BAE that’s it

· He was your English tutor and has always had a crush on you

· He wanted to ask you out on a date, but he shy and thought you won’t like white boys

· You asked him instead cuz you fell for his ocean blue eyes (I mean who wouldn’t)

· In the beginning you had to take the initiative a lot cuz he wanted to respect your boundaries but after a while he grew comfortable and took the lead

· He LOVES your natural hair and knows your wash day schedule, so he always offers to help anyway possible

· He was absolutely scared of meeting your family cuz once again he white 😐 however everyone loved him

· He most definitely invited to the family reunion

· Your aunts adore him and they always talking about you as a baby to him

· He always doing late night ft calls with you, and he WON’T hang up cuz he wants to see your face when you wake up

· Armin is a giver, so he always offers to buy thigs for your and just buy gifts at least once a week

· He also loves cooking for and with you (once you had a cooking competition and technically, he is a better cook, but he let you win)

· He likes sending random pictures of things you like and remind him of you

· He happily takes pictures of you (photographer Armin)

· You guys have a pet turtle called Mickey 🐢

· His nicknames for you are beautiful, pretty and stuff like that

· Just overall fluff

Levi Ackerman (the co-worker)

· You guys have been co-workers for 2 years actually

· You thought he hated you but in reality, he does he just acts stingy towards cuz he is Levi 😐 (some serious enemies to lovers vibe)

· He didn’t confess and never would have but due to a drunken Hange letting it slip during a hang out with your co-workers you found out

· He deadass ignored you for a week like if he saw you, he would turn into Houdini and disappear

· However, you once caught him distracted and forced him to talk to you

· Reluctantly so he spoke the truth and asked you out (thought he seemed angry about it)

· Now you guys have happily been dating

· Everyone in your office finds you lucky cuz Levi is the finest man in the office heck the world (if he was real, I would leave my bf 😭)

· He actually has a 5-year-old daughter (DILF! Levi) and told you why he never said anything about his feeling was because you know single dad and shiz

· After 6 weeks you met his babygirl and she is the cutest she loves you considering she never had much of a mother figure in her life

· His daughter is mixed so he knows how to deal with natural hair thanks to YouTube, so he sometimes helps with yours (such a good dad)

· But now that you are here you offer to do any protective styles and give him tips

· Levi isn’t very open, but he expresses his love to you with physical touch, acts of service or gifts

· However, he speaks very softly to his daughter he seems different

· Due to his love language being touch he loves petting your hair (only when you have protective styles) and putting his head on it ( he is tall in my head okay)

· He loves having you in close proximity to you and just somehow touching you

· Him and your dad really hit it off because they both have daughters

· Your aunts are lowkey infatuated with him

· Loves making breakfast for you but due to your busy schedule he just buys your coffee in the morning

· He will never tell you, but he has trouble falling asleep but when you sleepover he actually has a full nights rest (he has silk sheets just for you)

· He might seem closed off, but you know he loves you due to the little things

Connie Springer (the bestfriend)

a/n I just want to say Connie will be of Hispanic heritage for the sake of this headcanon also because all the fanfics I read about him he is portrayed as Hispanic I just write him like this however this isn’t to offend anyone or play onto stereotypes.

· You guys have been besties since freshman year high school

· You hooked up freshman year of college and been dating ever since

· Nothing really changed in your dynamic other than the fact yall kiss and do the deed

· Like you legit call each other insults though Connie likes calling slime and bubbs

· You jokingly calling each other baby mama and baby daddy (manifesting kids but whatever)

· Speaking of kids, you have plushies that you call kids and rotate them around (they are from your arcade date)

· Loves being on call with you when he is playing because it helps calm him down and not break his tv (anger issues much)

· HYPEMAN if you are looking fine asf he will hype you up so much and offer to take pictures for the gram

· You have a joint TikTok account where you reaching 10k and just do dumb couple stuff its cringey but cute (Same goes for your joint spam account where you guys just do silly things together)

· He always asks to do your hair which you repetitively deny keeping in mind last time you let him he nearly ripped off half your scalp

· Late nights drives happen a lot so you can vent and have a heart to heart under the stars, you guys also just vibe to the music and might spend hours in silence looking at the city lights and dancing

· If you fall asleep on him or in the drive back he becomes really cute and soft and just says you are beautiful and that he loves you in Spanish (ugh my heart)

· He only speaks Spanish when he wants to be cute and knows you won’t understand

· Your family have always liked him so when you guys started dating everyone was like ‘FINALLY’ (same with his family)

· Some type of kid’s movie marathon once a month cuz being a child is great

· Its just overall jokes

Jean Kirstein (Mr Doesn’t Give Up)

· Kept asking you out for a year until you gave in, he was so excited he kissed you straightaway

· He was so nervous in your first date, but he was a gentleman opening doors etc (whoever said chivalry was dead 🤨)

· Nearly said I love you on the first date considering he has liked you for a year, but he held it in

· However, he did get a kiss goodnight on the cheek (he was grinning like a fool)

· Loves the fact that you change your hair so much and so often that he happily gives recommendations and offers to help you out

· He is the overprotective type of boyfriend so he was reluctant on you meeting his friends especially Eren, but you reassured him that you wouldn’t be swayed (still icky about you hanging with Eren though)

· He adores playing pc games with you and you have a little family in Sims4 which is cute

· He now has a skincare routine because you introduced him to it (he said he didn’t need one cuz he has a ‘handsome face’ but he secretly started one lol

· He also steals your body lotion and legit smells like you (smh)

· His wrist always has a silk crunchie in case you need it, and, in his car, he has a bag with essentials for you such as pads, edge control, etc

· He calls you cute pet names but also the occasional insults as a joke

· He is lowkey rich, so he happily spoils you to fancy dinners and more

· He also likes going back to the basics so picnic dates in the spring and summer are common he says he cooks them but in reality, it’s his mum

· Your mum absolutely adores him cuz he is a ‘charmer’

· He likes facetiming you when he is working out so he can show up, but you just ignore him and continue doing what you are doing

· Like Eren he has a folder filled of mugs of you

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[bukojuiice]

— their wedding day with you.

ೃ pairings: (izuku midoriya, katsuki bakugo, shoto todoroki, x fem! reader)

ೃ  tags: headcanons, tooth rotting fluff

ೃ warnings:  none

ೃ  my nav  →  my mha writing masterlist  → my katsuki bakugo x reader smau

ೃ if you want to be a part of my mha taglist. send me an ask!  ♡

ೃ  please do reblog if you enjoyed!! it really helps writers and content creators on tumblr! (feel free to add tags too because i love reading them and my heart swells with happiness when people love my work!)

ೃ after a million wedding videos and pinterest boards later, i’m excited to share with all of you my wedding hcs! these are short and a quick read so i hope you enjoy!  ♡

-  you and your fiancé, katsuki, were arguing over the venue and the theme of the wedding. he wanted it to be a simple ceremony. perhaps taking place at just a regular event place- whilst you wanted the venue to be at a beach. 

- it was a dream you had always wanted while innocently planning your wedding as a kid. so why not make it a reality?

-        The two of you peacefully decided on it over rock paper scissors. You won so… the beach wedding it is.

-        (Katsuki actually loved the idea of the beach wedding as much as you did. He just didn’t want to admit it.)

-        coral blue and oceana palettes, luscious palm trees swaying with the wind coming from the sea, the calming sound and view of the ocean, coral and shell designs hung everywhere, tables and chairs with little boho and aquatic inspired designs.

-        mitsuki bakugo insisted on making your wedding dress. you were overjoyed and deeply touched by her sweet gesture. As she wants the best for her beautiful and loving daughter in law after all.

-        The dress was one of the most angelic and heavenly gowns you have ever seen in your entire life. a long graphic lace gown with an open back and the edges of your white dress had frills like that of a mermaid tail. you wore a shell bracelet, to match with katsuki’s.

-        kirishima and kaminari jokingly dared bakugo to wear a tuxedo heavily inspired by the dc superhero, aquaman to keep the beach theme going. of course, katsuki ignored their suggestions and little jokes, opting for something of his usual style. his suit partially unbuttoned, tan rolled up-pants and matching shell bracelets with you.

- as you walk down the aisle, katsuki could not think of anything but the bursting feeling inside of him saying that this was it. this serendipitous event was going to signify the start of his life... his life with you.  

- your beauty and radiance was like that of a mermaid, your (h/c) hair flowing with the wind and the ocean was there as if practically glowing for you. whereas he felt like a mere pirate who could do nothing but watch you from afar as he sailed the shores.

- yet here you are, about to approach him, to finally begin this momentous event.

- the gentle mermaid fell in love with the aggressive pirate. how sweet.

- you insisted on playing songs from the little mermaid during your walk down the aisle and during the reception, sadly, katsuki disapproved of both. with a little convincing and a dozen of cute pouty faces later, he agreed to have someone play a romantic song. just one.

- the two of you decided on someone performing a beautiful rendition of “can’t take my eyes off of you” 

-        bakugo was about to cry while reciting his vows. Almost. He was totally going to shed some tears after the wedding ceremony, for only you to see, and before the two of you make your appearance at the reception.

- the wedding and the reception ends wonderfully as fireworks began to pop in the sky, colorful swirls as if they were coloring the sky, with one of the firecrackers even shaped as a heart. the reception continues with people dancing, and while your husband wasn’t one for festivities and dancing, he would give this day a pass as you bring him to the middle of the dance floor as the two of you dance the night away.

- “you’re just too good to be true...  Can't take my eyes off of you~ you'd be like Heaven to touch, i wanna hold you so much~”

-        shoto wants the most important day of his life to be reminiscent of a fairy tale as he wasn’t able to experience the wonder and the beauty of it as a child.

-        to keep the theme consistent, he rents out a quaint recreational woodland not far from the city.

-        he wants it to be perfect just for you especially since you’ve been dreaming of living a fairy tale for such a long time… and here you are now about to fulfill that dream.

-        the wedding starting at dusk, twinkling lights and garlands hanging around the trees, fairy lights sprawled about, blooming archways, lilac ash and sandstone pallets, long romantic banquet, and guests composed of his closest friends and family.

-        you’re dressed in a beautiful white (with pastel blue accents) floofy dress reminiscent of a fairy. embroidered with vines, satin flowers, and butterfly accents. instead of a veil, you’re wearing a flower crown decorated with pretty white daisies and leaves.

-        whilst shoto was wearing a suit reminiscent of peter pan. an exquisite blue suit with a peter pan lily as his boutonnière.

-        As soon as he sees you walking down the aisle, tears were about to stream down from his cheeks.

- the whole todoroki fam are at the brink of tears too, as these were one of the very rare times they see the youngest todoroki with the biggest smile and most blissful look on his face. 

-        All of the guests stand up, each seat has one thin branch with attached handcrafted butterflies and fireflies for them to hold up and to illuminate your way to Shoto.

-        A musician strums their guitar and begins to sing “Can’t Help Falling In Love” by Elvis Presley.

-        He’s just beyond delighted to see you. As if flowers were blooming with every step you take, approaching closer and closer to him.

- “wise men say... only fools rush in... but I can’t help falling in love with you...”

-        You looked ethereal. Like a dawning light.

-        You continue to walk down the aisle, looking back at him. All the pure love and adoration you have visible in your eyes.

- midway through your vows, shoto couldn’t take it anymore and the tears just flowed down his face. you giggle lightly, the other guests were snickering along.  you bring him into a hug, kissing his tear-imprinted face as the two of you continue with the ceremony.

- It felt like an absolute dream. This was the best day of both of your lives after all.

-        “And they lived happily ever after.”

- you and izuku  just wanted a simple yet still fancy backyard wedding. 

- as the two of you wanted to spend most of your budget on traveling the world for your honeymoon trip instead.

- you could still make things absolutely beautiful and pleasing to look at after all. with your amazing teamwork and working on the planning together, you could manifest a delightful wedding. 

- there wasn’t a particular theme per se. both you and izu weren’t really ones to go into specifics anyway. you just wanted to replicate a very light and airy feeling that can be seen in most dreamy weddings.

-  string lights hung everywhere, a huge whimsical canopy was built up on the yard with two iridescent chandeliers hanging on the inside, draped fabrics and lush, interwoven greenery, mint and powdered colored accents, and a mini bar at the entrance.

- all of the heroes that izuku had known all his life were invited to the wedding. and of course, they wouldn’t miss it for the world. with practically everyone attending the #1 hero’s big day.

- with the help of the girls from class 1-a and after several hours of trying on the most beautiful dresses, your heart was set on an embroidered tulle and crepe white gown. instead of a veil, you opted for a  white crown headpiece, resembling that of a halo. 

- izuku on the other hand, at the behest of the boys of class 1-a, wanted him to wear something extravagant that could woo you. izuku disliked all the suits that they made him try out and instead went for a black suit jacket, dark blue dress shirt, and to complete the look, a cute little bow tie. 

- you walk down the aisle, holding a bouquet of flowers, your calming and ever so beaming presence felt like the light that he had been looking for all his life.

-  izuku could just stare at you lovingly like this if he could. he fights the tears welling up in his eyes, but he knows he’s going to break soon.

- and he does. as soon as he starts reciting his vows, izuku begins to weep. the genuineness and the love that you could hear from his voice and from the emotions he was showing right now made you feel so warm inside. 

- you hug him and squeeze both of his hands tight as he calmly yet emotionally goes through the entirety of his vow. 

- at the reception, inko and all might offer a special toast to you and izuku. their speech composed mostly of doting words and a lot of light-hearted “parent” jokes. 

- dekusquad + bakugo came up to the stage too to give their chaotic toast to the groom and bride, and the atmosphere and the mood became even more fun and lighthearted.

- as a surprise, you and izuku prepared a short musical number. the two of you were going to duet stand by me by ben e. king.

-  “when the night has come... and the land is dark... and the moon is the only light we'll see~ no I won't be afraid... oh, I won't be afraid. just as long as you stand, stand by me~”

ೃ taglist: @chibishae34​​ @sparkykatsuki​​ @ramunegoddess​, @serossimpy

[demonologist-in-denim]

If season 12+ had gone differently, I would have really loved to see Crowley get a French Mistake episode. Especially since we know Amara came back to earth and spent her time playing craps in Reno or whatever, her and Crowley’s paths cross again, and she needs him out of the way for whatever’s going down with the Winchesters and Chuck, but also maybe kinda wants to thank him for “raising” her. So, *snap*, she sends him to a French Mistake alternative universe.

There are no monsters, no magic, no demons here. Certainly no Hell to run. Just a very familiar narrative written as a tv show, and it’s the summer hiatus. What’s Crowley to do? He’s got no powers, no plan, no immediate way back. So he decides to just try and enjoy life, see what happens. Enjoys having a loving wife, and kids that adore him, a family. Enjoys how much people apparently love this Mark Sheppard gent. Crowley might have been born to direct, but he can act, at least for a little while. Long enough to soak up all of this.

And he can’t help but look himself up, read what the fans are saying about him. He’s not surprised there are fans that consider him sexy, or that there are fans who still consider him a monster. But he doesn’t know what to make of all the spn fans out there who consider him loveable. He reads fanfiction, in which he morphs from a monster into a man, into a hero. Into one of the boys. He reads the blog posts and the meta posts and the long ranting discourse about how he deserved better and who he could have been. He looks at himself in the mirror, and tries to see what they see. Wants to be who the fans believe he could be.

And because right now who he has to be is Mark, he goes to spn conventions. He attends the panels and takes the photo ops. The fans shower him with love, with appreciation, with encouragement. It’s a little unsettling, a little awkward at first. Lucky for Crowley, Mark has always been short and teasing with the fans. He’s able to make it work, lets himself laugh a little, learns to lean into the hugs, return the smiles. He meets the fans who talk about how much Crowley the character helps them, even though he can’t seem to help himself. They talk about how much they empathize with him, love him, want a happy ending for him as the series comes to a close. Crowley feels equally seen and misunderstood in turns. He’s torn between gratitude and irritation, and settles for feeling smug about his popularity.

He walks the convention floor and sees all the fan-made plushies, the posters and stickers, all the t-shirts and pins and magnets with “Morons!” and “You’re good, but I’m Crowley” and “I just want to be loved.” There are even a few, stupidly flattering “Sold my soul to save Crowley’s”. An endless array of fan art, endless imagings in fanfiction and headcanons about his character and his past and his present and his hoped-for future. There is so much of it that Crowley begins to actually hope these fans and their silly indulgence in fandom isn’t in vain. A lifetime ago, he could have bought all their souls in a single night, with the mere promise that their devotion could manifest reality. Now, he feels strangely protective of them all.

Crowley stumbles but manages to catch himself in meeting the Winchester dopplegangers. He’s unprepared for the way that Jared teases him, Jensen and Misha include him, hug him, ask how he’s been and when are we getting together again, man? Maybe never, Crowley thinks to himself. Maybe, maybe I’ll never go back.

But the Winchesters and Castiel in his world are demanding to know just what the Hell Amara did with their no-longer-so-reluctant ally and frenemy. And she rolls her eyes and raises her perfectly manicured fingers and *snap*. And Crowley finds himself back. Back in his own world, back where no one loves him, and no laughs at his jokes, no one writes for him a happier ending than the one he’s likely to get. And then Dean says hey man, you okay? We were worried. And Crowley thinks to himself, maybe this world really is just a television show, or maybe it’s some greater being’s shitty draft, or even just someone’s piece of fanfiction. Maybe his ending has already been written. But he owes it to himself – and his fans – to try to be that better self. So he smiles at Dean, cockily, affectionately. And says, it’s good to be home.

[freddiekluger]

Do you think that if the ghosts sees period dramas set in their time, it will reignite memories of their life?

i think it definitely depends on the accuracy and style of the drama- if they're too poorly researched, any attempts at reverie would be totally disrupted by the historical and visual inaccuracies (think: thomas yelling about the 'roccoco legs' during the byron shoot). of course the other big thing is setting: it's all well and good to watch to a movie set in your time period, but if it's based in a country you've never been to (especially for the older/less privileged ghosts like mary and robin, who probably didn't have much knowledge of the world outside of their continent when they were alive), it's not going to feel particularly familiar.

working on the assumption that we have at least partial historical and geographical accuracy, here's how i think each of the ghosts would respond to

robin: considering how little we actually know about early human history, i don't think robin would be that fussed by any attempt to put that on film- he'd still appreciate a good caveman joke, although he's not a big fan of how stupid every movie assumes they would have been (it's not like they had omega-3 tablets back then!). robin's unspeakably old, and for the most part he seems to have processed through all the parts of his past that he possibly can, and is now committed to enjoying his time at button house as much as he can (a big part of this is his prankster spirit and frankly underrated friendliness), so it would have to take a lot more than a stone age movie to rake up serious conflict.

mary: given her incredibly traumatic death, mary avoids virtually anything that hints of fire or witchcraft which is where things become difficult. i think mary could really enjoy a film set in her time if it follows a working family not dissimilar to her own- it could help her remember some of the positive things from her life, and probably help her feel a lot more seen as she often ends up misunderstood or ignored by the other ghosts (pat initially dismissing mary's advice about the camera work because he didn't think she properly understood what was happening; the ghosts focusing on correcting her speech more than what she actually says). the problem is, almost all movies set in mary's time that follow people from her class end up focusing on the witch trials, which is a BIG no no for her.

humphrey: i think humphrey could really enjoy watching some tudor set films. like mary, he often gets ignored (and straight up left behind), so watching a period film absolutely gives him the opportunity to feel a bit more seen and stew on those long forgotten memories like post-meal games of cards with friends, or the occasional hunting trip when the king came to visit (the trips themselves were more stressful than anything, but mouthing off about them with the king's entourage after he went to bed was always a highlight). humphrey would definitely have a keen eye for inaccuracies, but i don't think they'd bother him. it's just nice to have things be about him for a change (if by him, we mean having all the ghosts watching something that is vaguely related to his alive-period and actually looking to him with questions instead of just using his head as their personal football/security camera/magic 8ball).

kitty: kitty is one of the ghosts who accesses her memories pretty easily- she has no problem with thinking about her life, even when the anecdotes are screamingly sad to anyone listening. so a period film would naturally bring some memories, but i don't know if they'd be anything radical or new- kitty's real growth and drama would come from her leaving behind the rationalisations of what clearly was severe neglect. actually on that note, while not quite kitty's environment, i think she might get a lot out of Sofia Coppola's Marie Antoinette. something about the themes of the loneliness that comes with growing up in high society and only being valued for what your status and your biology can give to your family and your husband (who you likely didn't choose), along with feeling like an outsider and being visibly othered, even by those you outrank, no matter how friendly and approachable and like them you make yourself (while not necessarily linked to the broader themes of familial neglect kitty's character touches on, i think her experiences as a georgian noblewoman of colour would have to have impacted her growing up and also socially- i'd love to hear any thoughts on this from fans of colour, as i'm white and so any theories i could come up with would likely be a poor approximation). and she'd definitely like the pretty dresses and stunning rooms of versailles, and for that i can't blame her.

thomas: most of thomas we sort of got to see in Free Pass- the detail nitpicking, the excitement until a specific trigger from his life (in this case, lord byron, the man thomas considers his greatest enemy, although i’d be curious to know whether byron acually had any idea of thomas thorne’s existence) causes him to go into a full thomas hissy-fit. sure, the emotion is real to him, but he absolutely plays it up, even trying to get humphrey’s body to fetch alison so she can see how ‘upset’ he is (thomas reminds me of a child in this respect).  there’d probably be less of the tantruming for a movie that had already been made, although i’m not so sure about the memory point. The Thomas Thorne Affair sort of brought out thomas’s big Unresolved Life Mystery, and now i think all that’s left for him to work through has got to be a lot more internal. sure, he’d be reminded of a few good old parties, and maybe any romance scenes might trigger some of the sad isabelle/general lost love emotions, but i don’t think they’d be anything particularly spectacular. 

fanny: now fanny would be a real stickler for accuracy. she would be calling out every makeup, decorative, hair, wardrobe, architectural, and lingual failure with the classic lady button judgement in her voice. this is probably half because she can't help herself, but half a measure to distract herself from actually having to pay proper attention and relive her life. i think fanny struggles a lot with no longer running her own household (along with the shifting morals, and fashions, of the modern world), and so to be reminded of everything she can no longer have would be tough. i'm not saying she would long for a time when women didn't have a lot of rights, but she went from a wealthy society woman who held a lot of power in her own sphere to a ghost, unable to touch anything or even be seen by the living (save for the photo glitch), and stuck spending her days with a motley crew of equally frustrating ghosts whom she doesn't always feel respected by (noting that 'respect' to fanny is much the same as deference). she could have it a lot worse, but i think fanny would much prefer to not have to think about her old life.

the captain: the captain is an interesting one. he's one of the few ghosts who actively seeks out media related to his time, although that's within the impersonal war documentary which focuses on facts and mechanics as opposed to day to day realities and feelings. on the one hand, any war film for the captain would be sure to rake up memories of wartime (even if he never made the front- that remains unconfirmed), and the immense grief that comes with watching the people around you slowly stop returning home. the captain is a war fanatic, and has no problem talking about the great battles, victories, and tactics, so i think the heightened emotional states that a film presents would be the key to unlocking the captain's inevitable wartime trauma and going beyond the surface level facts. for that reason, i'd really like the captain to see Peter Weir's Gallipoli. i know it's the wrong war and the wrong country (although the australian's were technically part of the British forces), but i think the overarching themes of the idolisation of the military, the deconstruction of the glory of war, and the intense (bordering on the homoerotic) although never quite realised relationship between Archy and Frank (which, spoiler alert, ends in tragedy), could give the captain a lot in terms of food for thought and unlocking some of those deeper experiences. on the other hand, the captain watching a period film set in the years before his war could be equally interesting- i think they'd play on some his is insecurities and general issues surrounding the difficulty he may have had fitting in with day-to-day life (not just due to his homosexuel répression, but due to his broader issues with fitting in socially which we see through his interactions with both the ghosts and his own forces- some particularly valid fans have used these to headcanon cap as autistic). in short, films would unlock a fair few memories for cap, but even more EMOTIONS.

pat: with pat and julian it gets interesting because while yes, technically any movie set in a non-current time period is a ‘period piece’, you also have to deal with the fact that they’re going to have less impact on their respective ghosts because you also have actual movies from those periods floating around. for this reason, my answers for pat and julian are relatively similar: they wouldnt have any more memories appear than for any film coming from while they were alive. for pat, this means he’d get pretty excited about ones that came from his childhood (pat would be a giant sci fi fan don’t @ me he loves technology), but i think anything that came with too strong a family attachmet, or that he watched in the weeks/months/year leading up to his death might bring out the angry pat we saw in Happy Death Day and Perfect Day. anger is how his inherent death trauma (and the additional loss that comes from the world moving on without you) manifests, so i definitely think that would come out here, even if he isn’t quite able to put his finger on why specific movies make him so angry/irritated. for pat, childhood memories would abound, but the closer we get to his death, there’s less memories but definitely more unresolved emotion.

julian: see my point above about the whole period-film-vs-regular-film thing. julian doesn’t really strike me as a movie person, and i definitely think he wouldn’t give much care to the influx of 80s/90s set british political media (think The Iron Lady etc). in his words, “i don’t really care for politics, and they’re all too busy trying to push their labor propaganda”. he just makes a captain-inspired noise when alison reminds him that he WAS a politician. julian is another character who accesses his memories pretty easily (although they’re usually either horny or at least slightly morally bankrupt), and i honestly find it hard to give a tory emotions so i’m very excited to see how the christmas special manages. julian is a self-centred bloke though, so i think only things that are directly about him could have the power to rake up buried memories and feelings. now i really want to see julian watching a documentary on himself and just getting outraged.

thanks for this one, sorry for the delay!!

[vampiresuns]

The Radošević-Cassano | Lore & Palazzo Inspiration

Some lore for the untitled geese family of Vesuvian High Society. As per usual, the family tree is here. With a quick run down on mostly everyone.

✴︎ General Headcanons

I call them the Radošević-Cassano because I keep Anatole in the centre of the family tree, and much of the Arcana lore I have revolves around him. This isn’t because everything is about him, but because he is the original OC, and hence the place all of this lore comes from.

In reality the Cassano of Vesuvia (how they’re actually known as) are an old Vesuvian family.

They hold no nobility titles, they’re just old, ingrained with the City, and simply have money. The surname Cassano isn’t that old, they’ve probably been the Cassano for less than what they’ve held the Consulship for, only having been known in this way since the last 300 to 250 years, give or take.

They’ve had a hold of the Consulship for a little longer than that. No one actually knows how they ended up with the Consul’s office.

Not even the Cassano themselves. There’s many rumours and the story itself is kind of a local legend at this point. No one remembers because sometimes stories are just oral tradition. Sometimes they just get lost. That’s how it is.

The Cassano surname comes from... a first name actually. Consul Cassano ruled Vesuvia in lieu of the Count they were Consul for, while said Count’s children grew up, becoming old enough to rule themselves.

They are a multicultural, multiethnic family. Different branches have different cultural backgrounds.

Yet their unity steams from 1. being the Addams Family of Vesuvia 2. The Consulship. A way for them to protect themselves versus other Courtiers down for their own power-grabs, or nobility which do not like that these respected and well known family have no titles made them create a network (inside and outside of the family) that allows them to protect themselves and their political position.

For a Cassano, it is not social standing which matters. It is political standing.

They’ve been friends with the Radošević family (less remarkable and less old) for around six or seven generations. The Radošević are the Addams Family of Balkovia. Fish, Water.

Both families favour cultivating a career, craft or academic pursuit. It doesn’t matter what at least you pursue it honestly.

Speaking of honest pursuits, one of their secrets for enduring is rejecting arranged marriages. Convenience marriages are one thing, if mutually consented by the future spouses, arranged marriages however are a recipe for owing other families favours. It helps get rid of families who simply want to marry with them solely because they’re interested in the political position.

Important things for both these families are: authenticity, professionalism (they do not conceive not working, hoarding land, property and wealth aren’t actual jobs), ambition, creativity, survival, fraternity and resourcefulness. Both of the families are very communal between each other, acting as extensions of each other way before they married between them.

They follow three principles: 1. Whatever happened to you, whatever life shot at you, you survived. A Cassano-Radošević is nothing if not enduring 2. Sometimes conventional problems needed to be solved through unconventional means. They are nothing if not resourceful. 3. What happens to one of us, happens to all of us. They are nothing if not community driven.

This sometimes made them out of touch with other parts of Vesuvian High-Society, especially certain kind of Noble families. I hc that the Consul is the link between the Count and the City, and is meant to represent the City in front of the Count. The Cassano have a very tightly knit relationship with the City, and while their position of privilege is undeniable they are more aware of the social condition and estate of the City than others of their same social circles.

Their tendency to work for the City in a usually self-less manner (which is encouraged), using their position to help others instead of stepping over them, coined the underlying belief that the Cassano are protectors of Vesuvia. They are the last line between something which wishes to harm the City and the people of Vesuvia. This is something which Anatole specially takes very seriously.

Other sayings or beliefs around them are: “Good Counts make their Consuls their friends, while Good Consuls have a Happy Marriage in their beds.” Given how long they’ve hold the Consul’s office, it is better for Vesuvian Counts (regardless of their origin) to befriend them rather than go against them. The second part stems from the Cassano tendency to marry for love, not out of arranged marriages.

“Nothing mortal can kill a Cassano” this began as a joke, simply because they’re a really sturdy family. While they were very close to disappearing in more than one occasion, they simply keep on living. They’re very petty about their vitality. This belief gets reaffirmed during any of the apprentice timelines, but also because of Valerian Cassano’s (Anatole’s great grandfather) longevity.

Few of them believe in the Arcana as a belief system, though a bunch of them are familiar with tarot. There’s a tendency to generate Death and Hierophant beneficiaries the most. The Radošević while not following the Arcana at all, and most of them being unfamiliar with them, have a tendency to generate beneficiaries of The Lovers, Strength and Magicians.

“When Death marries a Star nothing will bring that marriage down” comes from the most notorious Cassano marriages being between Death and Star beneficiaries, with the Star beneficiaries usually being foreign. Examples of this are Amparo Mediavilla (Star) and Vitale Cassano, former Consul (Death), Stelarius Cassano (former Consul, Death) and spouse (Star), and recently Amparo Cassano (Death) and Portia Devorakova (Star).

Magic in the family, manifesting in given individuals is rare, but not unseen. The Cassano seem to be coated by a halo of magical energy but not display magical abilities themselves for the most part. Some exceptions are Amparo Mediavilla, Lucenzo Cassano, Valerian Cassano, one of Florentino’s (Anatole’s grandfather) brothers – Nemesi Cassano, Amparo Cassano, Vlad Radošević (son of a Cassano, and Anatole’s father), Aelius Anatole Radošević, and Artemisia Cassano, sibling of Amparo.

People with magical abilities in the family tend to keep it reserved from the general public. The reasons vary. 

While the Cassano Personality is strong and produces an inter-generational imprint, the Cassano genes are not that strong. No one is entirely sure what a ‘Cassano face’ looks like because of their multicultural background, but apparently they all have expressive eyebrows.

However, most of the Cassano stand in the same way (the way Valerius stands). Valerius, Anatole, his father, Florentino, Amparo, Artemisia, Cassiopeia, and others all stand in the same way.

✴︎ The Radošević

They’re not that different from the Cassano. Can be described as a “A family of survivors, eccentrics, patrons of the arts, inventors and scientists. A family of academics full of anxieties about the world surrounding them, whose sorrows were scars they rarely showed. Private yet with an extensive, and international, circle of acquaintances who deemed them all charmingly strange on their best days; prideful, analytic, often with a drink in hand.”

The Cassano can be described in a similar way, they’re different manifestations of the same core after all. Other than them being the Addams family of the fantasy Balkans, there’s no much to add to them besides what I’ve already said.

While the most distinctive Cassano trait is probably spite, the most notorious Radošević trait is rage. Rage is easier than grief and they’ve all had complicated relationships with life. They are not violent or toxic as a family, however. While they are not perfect, it seems of little use to them to mistreat those who are in the same boat as you, going through the same hardships.

Probably the some of the most interesting people in this family are Elysian Radošević, Anatole’s great grandmother, a partisan, Neuma Radošević a famous painter, and well, Valeriy “Valerius” Radošević. This is my personal HC in the julesverse, but Valerius has more of a Radošević personality than a Cassano personality.

Anatole would be a nice mix of both of them, which is catalysed by his mother, Louisa De Silva.

As an aside, Anatole has his father’s and uncle’s brows, his father’s eyes, and while his face bone structure is a toss up, he has his mother’s lips and nose. He also has his mother’s hips and legs.

The Radošević have a vineyard in fantasy Istria. No, it’s not Valerius’ vineyard.

One of the reasons why Anatole would refuse all kind of title (and so would his uncle, actually, despite the way he acts) is because having a nobility title is one of the few reasons for your Balkovian citizenship to be revoked. Nobility has been abolished in Balkovia for decades, and it’s not making a comeback.

✴︎ The Palazzo

The Palazzo Cassano is where the star mark is. It is 12 minutes away from the Palace, and 18 minutes way from Goldgrave. It is one of the few properties the family has, and probably the most important.

For years, it has been open to the Vesuvian Public who, with previous appointment, might need its resources, such as the music room or the Cassano Library. Like I said before, the Cassano do not think owning things is a job, and like I said before they encourage finding an actual occupation, whatever it might be. Other properties tied to the Cassano, including the Radošević-Cassano, are: Mircea’s and Florentino’s house in Balkovia (Anatole’s grandfather’s), the Radošević Vineyard, Valerius’ vineyard, Blasio’s house (Milenko’s grandfather), Milenko’s apartment, Vlad’s and Louisa’s townhouse in Balkovia, where Anatole grew up, and Paris’ shop + apartment, as she leaves it to Amparo, Milenko and Anatole. 

The Palazzo holds a series of invaluable collections, from books, artefacts, painting, sculptures, swords and others. They are long standing patron of the arts, who sustain themselves on social connectivity, so it is not unheard of them sustaining balls for these purposes every now and then. The Palazzo is meant to be able to house the majority of the family in somewhat comfortable terms. It’s most famous room, is it’s winter garden, which is open to the Public on certain days.

The Palazzo does not have permanent staff. It’s an oddity. The only permanent positions are the one of personal secretary of the Consul — not a valet, not a servant — and the Chef. Most of the staff is divided in shifts.

The Palazzo doesn’t have a housekeeper, only a housekeeper assistant. The Palazzo housekeepers are Batiste Cassano (sister of Florentino, Anatole’s grandfather), Iris Ravella (Amparo’s parent), and post-game Valerius.

Some of the OC families they’re related to are the Ventura, the family of two high-priests in one of Vesuvia’s temples, the Valperga (Valerian’s family), a number of Venterrean family’s, the Radošević (obviously), and the Ravella, among others. All these families are part of the julesverse.

Canon families they are related to include the Devoraks, the Satrinava (Milenko, while not a Cassano by blood is a Cassano by upbringing, and the Cassano include all the Radošević as their own), and the Alnazar. 

As an addition, when @apprenticealec​ and I merge worlds, they are also related to the Parsa D’Orias, as they are to the El-Saieh, but they belong to @ilyamatic​.

The story of how they ended up with the Palazzo stirs as much rumours as how they ended up with the Consulship, but the truth is way less exciting. It came with the position, and they deliberately altered the papers so from Grant of the Count, became their own. It was finders keepers. The Palazzo is inspired by different buildings in different parts of the world, but primarily, it’s outside is inspired by the Palazzo Papadopoli, in Venice, Italy, the Palazzo Ca d’Oro, and Ca Dario

Here are some pictures of different things it takes inspiration from:

The Palazzo has a back door, which leads to a minor street — the lovers and close friends door — inspired by the Palazzo Bembo- Boldù. The only way to open this door is from the inside. To ring it, you have to turn the knob three times to the right.

Thank you for reading these untitled geese family lore ❤️

[dekuscrybaby]

Hi, I'm new, Do you think he could request a headcanon or scenario from Aizawa as a single father, with a little girl who inherited his mother's quirk? They are divorced but the mother is not very present in the life of the girl. If it bothers you or you don't want to do it, please ignore the request.

hey! this totally doesn’t bother me at all, in fact i found this super super cute and i’m really glad you sent it in! i’m gonna do both the headcanons and scenario so hopefully this meets your expectations! i’m unsure how to feel about the scenario though so just let me know :)

Aizawa as a Single Father

y’all know how we always like to tease aizawa and his potential of being a good parent?

well, this is where it all comes from, him being an actual father

as we know, aizawa is a very private person which is why no one knew that he was once married and they especially didn’t know he had a little girl

i feel like she would’ve been an oopsie baby, despite aizawa and his ex-wife being married

children weren’t in either of their plans but accidents happen and at first, they were both onset to not keep the baby, whether that be abortion or adoption is up to you guys

however, after the first ultrasound, aizawa became super attached to the little blob on the screen

he did everything in his power to convince his wife to keep it which caused this huge altercation 

it was so bad that they ended up getting divorced but he didn’t really care since he eventually convinced her to hand full-custody to him

once his ex gave birth, papers were signed and little hayami (you can change it) was officially his 

he struggled with the newborn at first, like any other first-time parent, but it was especially hard since he was a single father but he didn’t mind at all

he love his daughter with all his might, it also helps that she’s basically a mini female version of himself so he’s even more attached

basically, he has the hugest soft spot for his daughter 

and he’s actually funny? or well he tries to be funny with her and since she loves her daddy, he’s the funniest guy ever

with the help of his friends and family, he was able to get a hold of fatherhood, baby hayami was given possibly the best childhood ever 

her mom was never involved in her life and aizawa didn’t care because he was able to give his little girl everything she needed and he had enough love to give her so that she never missed her mom

going back to his daughter looking exactly like her, he assumed that she would develop his quirk since his genes appeared to be dominant

boy, was he wrong 

i see his daughter having a quirk completely opposite to him and by that, i mean a quirk that could be considered extremely chaotic

she has an emitter type quirk and if i had to be specific to what it’d be, i’d say it’d be something somewhat destructive like maybe wind? 

hayami is about five years old when she develops her quirk and it’s set around the same time aizawa is teaching class 1a

imagine how frightened he’d be if one of the teachers rush into the middle of a class, bearing the news that his daughter has developed her quirk at school

baby girl is probably terrified because she just completely blew away one of her friends during recess, and maybe herself because it was a pretty strong gust of wind

aizawa practically dashes out of that classroom, quickly muttering to the class that they shouldn’t do anything stupid while he’s gone

he goes to pick her up from school and the teachers give him the rundown of what had happened and the quirk she could have manifested before she’s released and aizawa is able to take her to ua 

the grind never stops for aizawa so he plans to finish teaching with the little girl somewhere with the teachers

once the father and daughter get back to ua, baby aizawa does not want to leave her father’s side since she’s still shaken up 

so what does aizawa do?

bring her into class!!

with a little girl on his hip, he walks into class and you can kinda figure out class 1-a’s reaction

a chorus loud gasps and quiet murmurs filled the classroom as aizawa walked into the classroom with his mini-me. not being used to the environment, hayami hid her tiny face in her daddy’s long locks, not wanting to interact with any of the “big kids.”

shota glances down and saw how his little girl was practically clinging onto him, causing him to smile softly.

“whose child is that?” mina was the first to speak, enthusiasm dripping her voice.

“class, this is my daughter hayami. she had a little scare concerning her quirk at school today, so she’ll be joking us in class and training.”

“your daughter!?” the class all questioned in unison.

“i don’t remember any of you being hard of hearing. yes, my daughter. she’s five and, as you can see, very reserved maybe even shy.” aizawa spoke in the same monotone voice as usual, but even kaminari could notice the obvious softness in his body language when he was looking at the child in his arms.

“she looks exactly like you, mr. aizawa,” uraraka gushed, wanting nothing more than to hold the black-haired child in her arms.

“well she is my daughter, so i’d assume she’d look like me.” 

with that, class restarted and everything was normal despite the temporary addition to the class. the students got through their lessons and were on their way down to the training field.

during that time, aizawa had to instruct his students in a more personal manner which meant he had to let hayami on her own for a bit. this made the girl very nervous since she wasn’t used to being around the class, but that didn’t stop everyone from trying to talk to her.

by the time aizawa had come back, hayami had basically made friends with the majority of the class. she ended up taking a particular liking to midoriya, uraraka, iida, todoroki just because they weren’t as loud as everyone else and they were simply more easy to approach.

while aizawa supervised sparring matches, the dekusquad got to know his daughter a lot more and they even helped her out with her quirk!

midoriya and uraraka were especially helpful. midoriya just knew a lot more about quirks for her to receive help with and uraraka was a lot softer and helped her understand anything she didn’t get.

by the end of the day, everyone had come to adore hayami and hoped that she’d be in class sometime soon. hayami had even come to love the liveliness of the class and wanted to come to this class than the one at her school.

aizawa had to break the news about not being able to return to the class unless another accident happened but he was incredibly happy to see all of his kids interacting together. 

no one would ever know that because he’s simply not the “soft type.” but in reality, everyone knows about the soft spot aizawa holds for not only his daughter but his rumbustious yet very entertaining class.

[sharada-n]

Could you elabirate about why Papyrus reminds Flowey of Chara? I'm really curious.

Sure, but I want to preface this by saying its been ages since I’ve written Undertale Meta so excuse me for being a bit rusty. Also, there’s a lot of personal conjecture and interpretation here so feel free to take what I say with a grain of salt…

This is pretty much a counter argument to people claiming that Papyrus resembling Asriel is the reason why he’s Floweys favorite. I’ll get into why I think that isn’t true in a second (and why I think he actually is more like Chara) but first I’d like to point out that this theory doesn’t even make sense.

Flowey’s relationship with Asriel is complicated. On a technical level they’re the same person, yes, but in reality, they’re more like separate entities. While I do believe there is some Asriel left in Flowey, Asriel himself states at the end of the pacifist route that Flowey and he are not the same. More importantly though, Flowey talks about Asriel with clear resentment. He says Asriel was weak and blames the failure of the plan to free monsterkind on himself.

Keeping this in mind, it doesn’t make sense that Papyrus reminding Flowey of Asriel would be a positive thing to him. Especially considering the way Flowey speaks about his first encounters with Asgore and Toriel. Flowey doesn’t seem to want a constant reminder of his old life around, let alone a constant reminder of his old self. If Papyrus was like Asriel, I can only imagine Flowey would resent him too and not have him as a best friend.

“But Shara,” I hear you cry “Flowey is hardly a good friend. In fact, he's kind of a jerk and he manipulated Papyrus in the pacifist ending!”. Which, yes, that’s a fair point. I’m not saying he deserves a “friend of the year” award, but I’ve definitely been over why I feel their friendship is not just a charade on Flowey’s part. It might have started as such, but it's not anymore I think.

For example, the plan to use Papyrus to lure everybody into his trap at the end of the pacifist route wasn’t concocted until after Frisk fell, and they were friends long before that, so it can’t be the reason why Flowey befriended him in the first place.

Granted this is veering a little into headcanon territory, but there also is canon evidence to support this, such as the anniversary event where Flowey was the only one who knew what Papyrus’ favorite food was, and was seemingly annoyed at the fact that nobody else knew.

And also the dialogue you get if you keep doing neutral runs without ever attempting a genocide or pacifist run.

Here Flowey accuses the player of continually resetting and visiting him out of curiosity and boredom rather than a genuine desire to befriend him. This mirrors the part where he talks about his friendship with Papyrus being a result of his own curiosity and Papyrus (for some reason not actually properly explained in canon) being “fun to mess with” and a character that took a long time for Flowey to get bored off. Then we get this tidbit:

Not only is this line very interesting but the facial expression is important too. You can read it as discomfort, clearly, but it is also very much a guilty expression. This is the same expression Flowey has at the end of the pacifist route when addressing the player and compelling them not to reset anymore because it would take away everybody’s happy ending. It also happens to be the same expression he has when talking about the Flowey Fan Club as well as at the exact line I mentioned above, where he admits Papyrus was his “favorite”. 

Seems to me like Flowey is expressing guilt or embarrassment about his original intentions behind befriending Papyrus…

Now to get into the main thing: Why do people think Papyrus and Asriel are similar? The hard part is that we don’t know that much about Asriel when you think about it. He’s been long dead before the events of the game. We get some bits and pieces here and there but most info comes from Flowey himself, who is hardly an unbiased source. However, it's fair to say Asriel was very kind, innocent even, and pretty naive. A crybaby, in his own words. And if you take the most shallow, basic interpretation of Papyrus (the kind of fanon that makes me want to pull my hair out) what do you get? That Papyrus is kind, innocent and naive.

The only word in that list I do not take offense to is kind. Papyrus is undeniably a very kind person. But he is not innocent or naive. I could go into why I say this but honestly, it has been argued to death not just by me but by the entire fandom at this point, you’ve all heard it before. Papyrus is an actor. He’s good at showing people the parts of himself he wants them to see. It's unlikely that he’s completely faking it, I do believe Papyrus is genuinely a positive and quirky person. But he’s also playing up those parts to the extreme. Which leaves us with a lot of subtle clues as to his real feelings. Meanwhile, Asriel wears his heart on his sleeve. Crybaby, remember? And what about Asriel being a coward? Papyrus is anything but a coward.

So let's talk about Chara then. Once again we face the same problem we did earlier. Chara is long gone and we don’t know a lot about them besides what Flowey tells us, unless you subscribe to the “Chara is the narrator” theory, which I personally do, but since I know some people are still on the fence regarding this I’ll keep to strictly canon dialogue first. 

Asriel says Chara wasn’t the nicest person. True enough, their plan to destroy the barrier by means of killing themselves and then a bunch of humans wasn’t exactly a solid idea. However, it was made with good intentions. Chara was willing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of freeing their newfound family. Chara wanted to help fix something they saw as undeniably wrong: the way humans treat others.

But this was also about revenge. Chara was bitter. They didn’t climb the mountain for a happy reason, according to Asriel. Asgore tells us something different too. He says he can see “the same hope in Frisk’s eyes that he saw in [Chara]”. So here we find what is both the big similarity and the big difference between Chara and Papyrus. Both of them are genuinely filled with hope, with belief, and with the motivation to make things better. They just manifested it differently.

Where Papyrus seems to maintain this disposition even in the face of adversary and unkindness, believing in you all the way until his death in the genocide route, Chara has already faced the kind of behavior that has made them resentful of things they consider unfair or unjust.

Both of them are willing to act upon these feelings of righteousness at least, however ill-advised, in contrast with Asriel (or ironically: Sans), who seems to be a more static, laid back person that didn’t like shaking up the status quo and just went along with what others did. Even Flowey himself only engages when he’s sure he has an ace up his sleeve and is unwilling to act thoughtlessly or impulsively. 

As the tape in the True Lab betrays, Chara was also a hard person to read, and both an excellent liar as well as an actor. They were hard to figure out, at the very least, and Asriel expressed joy at seeing a glimpse of their unguarded emotions when they smiled genuinely. Once again though, Chara seems to do this because they want to come across as colder and more emotionless than they really are, giving the impression that they don’t care about anyone or anything. While Papyrus is always trying to come across more happy and untroubled than he really is, and rather keeps his more negative feelings to himself.

The result for both of them is the same though: they are distanced from their friends and family, I’d almost go as far as to say that even those closest to them barely know them, and they are misunderstood in the most fundamental way. Their motivations are harder to figure out than those of most other characters, for sure. It would definitely go some way into explaining why Flowey was so fascinated by Papyrus from the start…

If you do believe in the Narra!Chara theory, there are some small details that match too. Chara is a rather goofy person actually and often makes jokes, but expresses disgust at puns and Sans’ rather lazy sense of humor where he goes for the most obvious wordplays. Just like Papyrus, who the fandom often portrays as hating puns when in reality he loves them, just not the kind Sans makes because they’re easy. Chara is also implied to be quite fond of books/reading and cooking, as is Papyrus. They both come across as inquisitive to me. The narrator's retorts can be unexpectedly sarcastic, or even dark, not unlike some of Papyrus’ dialogue. There’s some other minor things but honestly this post is way too long as is so I’ll just leave it there

Conclusion: Flowey made the same mistake the fandom made in assuming Papyrus was a one-dimensional person who is easy to fool, only be confronted with his new best friend being strangely similar to his old one and now he has no soul and a weird attachment to this strange skeleton who everybody underestimates. He even admits that Chara is the only person he would still care about now. Kind of a weird statement, except if you consider he has found somebody like Chara that sparked some kind of actual emotion in him (whether that be friendship, compassion, guilt, or something else)

What do you guys think? I’d love to hear your thoughts, or if you want to tell me this post was a horrible read from start to finish you can do that too

[talesfromthesnogbox]

Big (Trash) Mouth

Summary: Richie Tozier is an already overall awkward human being, the absolute last thing he needed was an untimely visit from Maury, his hormone monster.The Big Mouth x It (2017) crossover I apparently needed but couldn't find.

Word Count: 4164

Notes: Soooooo yeah, I posted something on tumblr a little while ago about how I needed this crossover and nobody took the bait so I took it myself. I've never written for It or for Big Mouth, so I'm sure this is all wildly out of character, but whatever, it sparked joy. It was... interesting attempting to write this and not say a lot of the things I knew Richie would say, but I didn't want to go there being in my mid 20's and writing 15 year olds. So yeah. Enjoy? 

P.S. I totally headcanon Maggie and Went Tozier to be EXACTLY like Mr and Mrs Birch if you’ve seen Big Mouth, so I wrote them that way.

ao3 link

~~~*~~~

Big Trash Mouth

“Late bloomer”. It’s something Richie had heard his whole life.

Late to start talking, walking, late to potty train, and now…

“Bill, when the hell did you decide to grow a mustache?”

Richie rolled his eyes as his friends fawned over how masculine it made him look. Their voices all deeper, bodies filling out the way they should be. He was fourteen and still gangly as ever, the only thing that had changed with Richie was his height. He now towered over his friends, but still had the awkward squeaky voice. His cheeks were still filled with baby fat, and he walked like a newborn giraffe.

All he wished for was to grow up, like his friends were. He talked the big talk, but in reality, Richie was a scared little boy. His heart thudded in his chest when he thought about what his first kiss would be like. Sure, Bill and Bev were really the only two losers who swapped spit on the regular, but Stan had kissed a girl from camp, and Mike had been actively pursuing one of the girls in their year at school after they’d kissed at a birthday party in a round of truth or dare. Eddie always blushed and told them to fuck off whenever he was asked, which left Richie and Ben as the last two losers.

Ben was a romantic, he wanted it to be special, which Richie always fake gagged at before running his mouth about the love of his life, Mrs. K. It was easier to make a joke about it than face up to what he was really thinking about…

It wasn’t that Richie couldn’t see himself settling down one day, or having a crazy whirlwind romance. He was just young, he wasn’t thinking about it. All he wanted was to be with Eddie.

He’d deny it to anyone who asked if he had a crush on Eddie (even to himself). It wasn’t a crush, Eddie was his best friend of all the losers. He knew what they had was special, and he wanted to grow old with him… and be like, best friends forever, ya know?

Nevertheless, Richie would shake off the feeling. He’d shaken it off at twelve, and he was still shaking it off at fifteen… for a little while at least.

It was hot that night, he’d been reading one of his dad’s old Batman comics, and he realized Batman and Robin were a little close for just friends.

“Ha, totally gay.” He’d muttered, trying to ignore the feeling of his heart beating wildly at the thought. Unlike most of his friends, he didn’t see the appeal to characters like Catwoman. She was sexy, sure, but he didn’t feel the attraction to her. But Batman…

A shiver ran through Richie, and suddenly, a rumble came from his closet. He jumped, terrified that the fucking clown might be back again.

“H-hello?” Richie whispered, praying there wouldn’t be an answer. After a moment of silence, he turned back to Batman. The story became lost on Richie, he stopped focusing on what was happening, and continued to zone in on Batman’s well-sculpted body; and then the rattling started again. “Fuck, hello? Eds, did you follow me home again?”

The closet door opened and a dark figure walked out; a big ugly monster, covered in hair revealed himself in the light. “Who the fuck is Eds?”

Richie shouted as the thing came closer. He slapped himself across the face, attempting to wake himself from whatever nightmare he was in, but he wasn’t waking up.

“What’re you doing kid? With the whole… slapping thing?”

“What the fuck are you?” Richie shouted again, adjusting his glasses and scrambling further up his bed.

“Oh, me? I’m Maury! I’m your hormone monster!”

“My what?”

“Your hormone monster! Congrats kid, you’re a man now.” Richie looked at him, confused and a little horrified of the physical monster that had manifested in front of him. “Look Rich, you’re reading a dirty magazine or some shit, your mind wandered for a bit, badda bing badda boom, here I am. So why don’t you… how did you put it… tickle your pickle and call it an evening?”

“What the fuck.”

“What, are you not looking at your dad’s Playboys?” Richie stared at the thing… Maury… in horror for a moment. “No, I’m reading a Batman comic.”

“Odd flex, but okay, I can work with that. Chicks dig a man in a spandex suit, I bet he gets so much pussy.”

 ~~~*~~~

Richie had barely slept that night. Maury kept him awake, flooding his mind with confusing thoughts and images.

“Wow Rich, you look horrible.”

“Thanks asshole, not looking too shabby yourself.” He snapped back at Stan as they reached the quarry together. He was not in the mood today.

Hanging out at the quarry today instead of the clubhouse turned out to be a blessing and a curse. The cold water woke him up instantly, and soon enough, Richie was back to being the trashmouth they all knew and loved. But shortly after jumping in, Eddie arrived.

Richie’s heart thudded, and a weak smile broke across his face as Eddie dropped his bike, waving to his friends. Then… his clothes started coming off.

“Ohhhh, shit man, I see how it is, that’s Eds.”

He jumped. “Fuck’s sake, you scared the shit outta me.” Maury had appeared out of nowhere, and it put Richie right back into his bad mood.

“Yeah man, who knew short, angry and hypochondriac would be the one to get your motor running. I thought for sure it’d be the tall, leggy redhead.”

“Shut up, Eds does not get my motor running. He’s my best friend.”

“Oh yeah? Tell that to your dick.”

“What? FUCK.” Sure enough, Richie felt the same unfamiliar stirring he’d started feeling the night before low in his belly. He sunk lower in the water, covering his shoulders, moving as far away from his friends as he could.

“Hey Richie!” Eddie yelled. “Get over here, I need a partner for chicken.”

“Oh yeah, chicken is a fave. Think about it Richie, Eddie sitting on your shoulders, it would be so easy to just turn him around and bury your face—”

“FUCK OFF MAURY. I GET IT.”

“Well you obviously don’t. That problem in your pants wasn’t a problem until he showed up.”

“Oh my god, OKAY. I’m attracted to dudes.” Richie hung his head low, his face burning.

“And…”

“And what? I said what I said.”

“Come on man, it goes deeper than that. You’ve had four other dudes in their tighty-whities feet away from you literally all afternoon and you waited till Spaghetti man showed up to pop a boner.”

Richie frowned. “Um, you’re the hormone monster, none of that was my decision apparently.”

“No, but the gay thoughts you’ve been having about Eddie were all yours.”

Before that day, Richie would have denied it until his face turned blue, but finally, he had to come clean with himself.

“Fine, fine. I’m attracted to Eddie; I have gay thoughts about my best friend. I… I l—I like Eddie.”

“Atta boy! Now go tackle him and pretend your hand slipped when you touch his butt.”

 ~~~*~~~

“Hey Richie, why were you being so weird earlier today?”

Richie spluttered. Bev had always been forward, calling him out on his bullshit, but he didn’t expect that she’d call him out on it today. The two of them had become close. Richie’s mom adored Bev, she was always welcome at the Tozier house for dinner, a sleepover, whatever she needed. He never questioned why his mom let him have a girl sleep over all the time, but now he supposed she had an inkling that he might not think about girls that way.

He leaned back against his headboard and looked straight ahead.

“I… um…”

“I thought it might be the boner you popped when you saw Eddie strip down, but you were quiet all afternoon.”

Richie felt his face pale. “You… what?”

She laughed. “Stan pointed it out, Mike begged us not to say anything after the sleepover incident.”

“Fuck, well that’s embarrassing. I feel like I’ve lost control, my hormones are like a fucking monster, always there, just waiting to attack.” Richie sounds crazy in his own ears.

“Is it weird that I understand?” Richie looks at her curiously. “Sometimes I just… I just feel so angry, I want to scream and cry, but then…” she shakes her head, “Bill comes in and just… he makes it all better. But then it’s hard to control myself there too.”

“Oooh, Bevvie, you gonna spill all the dirty deets about Big Bill?”

She giggles. “Shut up, asshole. You gonna spill the beans on why you popped a boner at the quarry?”

“I think I have a crush on Eddie.” Richie’s surprised to hear it come out of his own mouth, let alone with another person in the room.

“Yeah dipshit, tell me something I don’t know.”

“Wait, what?” Maury popped up in the corner of Richie’s eye as they spoke it together. “Dude, what the fuck, how’d she find out before you did?”

“You two aren’t exactly subtle you know. We’ve been placing bets on when it would finally come out forever.”

“But… but Bev, neither of us… I didn’t even tell you I was gay. I didn’t even really admit it until very recently.” He paused. “Oh yeah, I’m gay by the way, you’re… you’re the first of the losers to know.”

She looks down at her feet, embarrassed by her own outburst. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… thank you for telling me Rich, I’m proud of you for coming out.”

“Thanks Bevvie.” He opened up as she leaned into him.

“It’s just… you and Eddie have something different, something special between you two.”

“Yeah, but… just because he likes guys too, doesn’t mean he’s into me.” Richie pouted.

Bev turns to look at him. “Richard.” She deadpans.

“What?”

“Eddie’s been flirting with you since we were fucking thirteen.”

“Um, he’s been bitching at me since we were fucking thirteen is I think what you meant to say.”

“No, flirting. He’s been pulling your metaphorical pigtails. And the shorts, he literally only wears them when you’re around because you always comment on them.”

“What? Richard, you never told me there were shorts involved.” Maury popped up. “I demand to see the shorts, take me to the shorts!”

Richie rolled his eyes, his heart thudding in his chest. Could Eddie like him back? “That still doesn’t mean anything, Bev.”

“That means everything, Rich.”

“Yeah Rich, that means everything! I think Eddie likes you man. Maybe try sticking your tongue down his throat, it’ll be like a fun little experiment to see for sure.”

He ignored Maury, still turning red at the thought.

Beverly smirked. “You’re imagining sticking your tongue down his throat, aren’t you?”

Maury raised his eyebrows. “Wow, she’s good.”

He shoved her, a smile cracking on his face. “Shut up.”

“Never.” Bev composed herself and leaned back into Richie. “I think you should tell him.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

Richie shook his head. “I-I can’t. He’d never—”

“I literally just told you he’s been flirting with you for years. Spit it out Richie, it’ll feel good once you do. Plus, boyfriend.”

“No, but he’s my best friend. What if I fuck it all up and he never wants to see me again? Or worse, what if we do end up dating, and I hurt him? I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt him. I just want him to be happy.”

“He’d be a lot happier if he were with you Richie.” Beverly reached up and stroked the hair away from his forehead.

“Okay, maybe so. But maybe I’m just not ready to come all the way out yet.”

She smiled. “That’s okay too.”

~~~*~~~

Months went by, and Maury continued to torture Richie to no end. He somehow sprouted up even taller, his voice got even lower, and suddenly he was just… hairy.

Richie had grown up a lot, but not just physically.

He was still Richie Trashmouth Tozier, but in much smaller doses than he had been before. He almost stopped relying on dirty jokes and made genuinely funny remarks, he stopped trying to take the spotlight, and opened up to, and listened to his friends in return. Richie had become almost civilized.

He’d come out to his parents; they were every bit as loving and supportive as they’d always been, sometimes overly supportive.

“You know sweetheart, my friend from work has a nephew in the next town over who’s gay, maybe we should set you two up.” His mom would say.

“Richie, you should really think about cleaning up the hair on your face, at least until you can grow a proper beard. Your mother has told me scratchy kisses are unpleasant, and you don’t want some nice boy to think you give scratchy kisses.” His dad would lament.

Richie’s parents were a lot, but he was grateful that they cared.

“For god’s sake man, why did your dad cry teaching you how to shave your face?” Maury said, rolling his eyes.

“Because he doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that I’m growing up and I won’t be his baby anymore.”

“Geez, that’s bleak.”

Richie and Maury’s attention was drawn to the window as he heard a gentle clink. They approached carefully, only to find Eddie at the base of his house looking up.

“Well well well, would you look at that. Just saw him this afternoon, but little Eds came back for some of that sweet Trashmouth lovin I see.” Maury waggled his eyebrows. “OH! And he wore the shorts. The SHORTS Richie!”

“Shut the fuck up.” Richie opened his window. “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” He called down to Eddie.

“Really not in the fucking mood right now, Trashmouth.” He sounded broken, small. There was anger and hurt layered under his displeasure to Richie’s usual antics. “I—I don’t think I’ll be able to climb up. But…”

“Say no more Spaghetti. Come around to the front, my parents are in the kitchen, I’ll sneak you in.”

Richie raced to the front door as quickly and quietly as he could. When he saw Eddie’s broken expression, he immediately brought him in for a hug.

“I’m okay.” Eddie repeated, but he didn’t look okay.

“Come upstairs, we just have to get past Maggie and Went.”

They tiptoed into the house, but Maggie Tozier was like a bloodhound. “Richie, is that Bev with you? Oh, hi Eddie, what a nice surprise.” She smiled as she turned the corner and spotted the two boys.

Eddie smiled. “Hi Mrs. Tozier. Sorry to interrupt your evening, I won’t stay long.”

“Nonsense, stay as long as you’d like. Can I get you boys anything, a snack? Something to drink?” Maggie smiled, sensing something was wrong. “Eddie, is everything okay?”

Eddie smiled but shook his head. “It’s complicated.” He shrugged, but Maggie’s eyes were kind, encouraging him to share. “I… it’s my mom… she’s been even more overbearing since I came out to her and we got in a fight. I just needed some air. I think I should have just kept it to myself and not told her I’m gay.”

Maggie rushed over, and Went popped his head into view. “Oh honey thank you for telling me. Never feel ashamed to be who you are.” She pulled him into a hug, Went rushing over to join them. “Well if you ever need some extended time away, there’s more than enough room for you here.”

“Thanks Mrs. T.”

“Wow man, this is all pretty gay.” Maury snuck in. “Ha, get it, gay? Cause we’re like totally gay and sharing feelings ‘n shit? Yeah, that’s some good shit.”

Richie rolled his eyes at the hormone monster, and touched Eddie’s shoulder lightly. “Love the whole Full House heart to heart thing that’s going on, but I think Eddie came over to take his mind off it all. Wanna go upstairs and play on the Super Nintendo?”

Eddie smiled and nodded, following the other boy into his room.

“Went, did you know Eddie was gay?” Maggie asked her husband quietly.

“I had an inkling. I think something very beautiful is happening with our son and his best friend right under our noses.”

Maggie frowned. “Just because they’re both gay—”

He shook his head. “No, no. They’ve had something special from the beginning, my sweet. I think it’s just the natural progression of their relationship.” Went kissed his wife’s cheek, and went back to their cleaning.

~~~*~~~

In the hours that had passed, Richie successfully took Eddie’s mind off his mother. The two teens laughed as they played Street Fighter, shoveling popcorn that Maggie had brought up into their smiling mouths.

It was Friday, so Eddie didn’t feel bad about drifting off in Richie’s bed shortly after they’d both collapsed in it, comic books sprawled at their feet.

Richie looked on as Eddie peacefully slept beside him. His features were soft, boyish still, but a hint of developing masculinity lay beneath the baby fat that remained. He removed his glasses and flipped off his lamp, settling into his normal sleeping position when Eddie snuggled in against his side.

Fuck.

“Oh shit, Richie, I don’t think Eddie’s asleep.” Maury once again made an appearance.

“What the fuck are you talking about, he’s totally asleep. Maury, what do I do?”

“Um… um… do you think he’d mind if you—”

“YES. Yes he would absolutely mind if I just whipped my dick out in the middle of our sleepover Maury.”

“Richie…” His head turned to the boy in his arms who was obviously very much not asleep. “I can hear you thinking. Shut the fuck up and hold me.”

“You heard the man Richard, he wants to be held, hold him!”

Richie moved hesitantly, gaining confidence as Eddie snuggled in closer to him. He could feel his friend’s breath lightly hitting his neck, getting closer and closer as he searched for that perfectly comfortable sweet spot in Richie’s arms. Eddie’s lips lightly grazed his neck, and suddenly Richie bolted upright, feeling the familiar tension stir in his gut.

“Richie?” Eddie sat up sleepily, eyes boring into the side of Richie’s face.

“Why the fuck would you move! If you would have waited a few more minutes, sweet, sweet magic could have happened!” Maury whined, dragging a hairy hand down his face.

“I—I’m sorry Eddie, I just… gotta save some lovin for your mom, am I right?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I-is it weird, being like this together now, because I’m gay?” They had indeed had sleepovers before where Richie had woken up with Eddie curled around him, but it had never bothered him until Maury showed up.

“N-no, no, that’s not it. I’m gay too, asshole.”

Eddie got up, walking towards Richie hesitantly. “Then why…” and then in the moonlight, he caught a glimpse of why. “Oh my god, classic Trashmouth. It’s like the quarry all over again. You really can’t control that thing can you?” He joked.

Richie had no witty response for him. He was silent for a moment, letting his own embarrassment wash over him. “I’m sorry Eddie.”

Eddie frowned. “For what? We’re teenage boys, that shit happens like all the time in our sleep.”

“Eddie, I… I wasn’t sleeping.”

Maury’s eyes shot open. “Richie why the fuck would you do that, he’s gonna think you’re some sort of pervert! Not that I wouldn’t love you any less if you were some sort of pervert, believe me, I could tell you stories about some of the other kids I’ve been assigned to.”

“Maury, just… just shut up, please.”

“What do you mean you weren’t sleeping? Richie, we’ve been asleep for—”

Richie shook his head. “You’ve been asleep for hours, I… I couldn’t sleep. Too many thoughts of Mrs. K running through—”

“Richie please, you literally just said you were gay.” The two were silent for a moment. Eddie looked at him hesitantly and nodded. “Okay. Does this happen with—”

“No.” Richie closed his eyes and collapsed back on his bed, willing the horribly timed problem to go away. “No, Eddie, just you.” He let out a groan of frustration.

Maury stood behind Eddie, unable to read his expression. “Shit man, I think you have to tell him how you feel now.”

“I’m sorry Eds, I never meant for you to find out like this… I never meant for you to find out at all.”

“What the fuck are you going on about Richie?”

Richie sat up and looked Eddie in the eye. “Eds… Eds you don’t get it?”

Eddie spluttered. “N-not really! I have no fucking clue what you’re trying to say right now. All I can tell from this conversation is that you’re gay and still apparently fucking my mother, and you popped a boner from lying beside me. I’m not a fucking mind-reader man, I’ve got no idea what—”

Richie’s lips gently touching Eddie’s cut off his rant. The kiss only lasted a second, but it left the two teens breathless.

“O-oh.” Eddie’s eyebrows were in his hairline, and Richie couldn’t believe what he’d just done.

“Holy fucking shit kid, you fucking did it.”

The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Neither boy wanted to speak first, neither wanted to look into the other’s eyes. Richie was beyond embarrassed, and he couldn’t help but feel like he’d maybe lost a friend.

“Fucking hell Eddie, even your mother is more talkative in bed.” He laughed nervously, adjusting his glasses.

“Shit man, he’s not saying anything. Whip it out, whip your dick out! Stun the motherfucker into saying something!” Maury yelled and jumped about.

“Richie… we were having a moment, why the fuck would you bring my mother into this again?”

Richie’s eyes went wide. “We… we were? I kinda thought you were going to jump out my window to be honest.”

“No, no! That… that was… good! I mean, I liked it.”

“You did?”

Eddie shoved Richie lightly. “Yes, dumbass, I did. I just don’t really know how to do this whole…” He pointed between the two of them.

“This whole what?”

“You know… um… crush… thing.”

“Crush!” Maury looked between the two boys and collapsed.

“Wait, you have a crush on me?” Richie pushed his hand through his hair.

“Yes asshole, why do you think I always try to partner with you in chicken? And sit beside you whenever we’re with the rest of the losers? I’ve had a crush on you for like… I dunno… like a really long time. And I kind of thought you did too. But now I’m wondering if maybe you just wanted another gay boy to I dunno, experiment with. Fuck, I’m an idiot.”

“No! No, Eds, me too, I feel that way too. The crush I mean.” Richie smiled and took the smaller boy’s hand in his. “I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole, and I’m sorry about…” he waved his free hand over his crotch. “I just… it’s like… uncontrollable. And like… your butt just looks really good in those shorts.”

“Beep beep trashmouth.” Eddie giggled. “I get it. I mean, I don’t, my dick isn’t trying to sabotage me, but it did at one point, and that sucked.”

Richie looked over to Maury accusingly. “Yeah, it does suck.” He shook his head and looked at Eddie. “So what do we do now?”

“Well I like you, and you like me, we could always… um I mean… you could be my boyfriend?”

Richie fake gasped. “Mamma dear!” He said in a southern belle accent. “This here boy wants to be my boyfriend!”

Maury shook his head. “Yeah man, maybe don’t do that.” But Eddie was giggling like a schoolgirl, eating Richie’s performance up. “Okay, wait, maybe you’re onto something. He likes it, keep doing it.”

Eddie shoved Richie again, knocking him down onto the bed, but tumbling after him. “Shut up asshole.”

“That’s asshole boyfriend to you, boyfriend.”

He blushed adorably. “Okay, asshole boyfriend.” Richie noticed Eddie’s gaze travelling between his eyes and his lips. Before he could stop himself, he leaned forwards, and kissed him again, this time longer, with more pressure.

Eddie’s breath hitched; it was perfect. Perfect until…

“Boys? Shouldn’t you be—oh!”

Richie pulled away from Eddie, and jolted back up again. “Mom!” He shouted. “This is why you need to knock!”

“Sorry sweetie, I’ll just… I’m gonna leave the door open a bit for you. We’re talking about this tomorrow. Goodnight boys, sleep tight! Make good choices!”

Maggie wandered back into her room, giggling as she crawled back into bed beside her husband.

“You may have been onto something with those two Wentworth.”

“See Mags, I told you. Something beautiful is happening.”

[dreamlegend]

Here’s a bunch of demon oc’s I’ve been recently making, except Decipio who’s an older character that I even had in an OCT once. She’s changed a bit from those times but is generally the same. I almost never talk about my oc’s here so I thought I should do that more often.

Decipio

As you can see from my current icon, Decipio is my current baby right now. Her name means “to deceive” in latin and obviously she’s a demon who excels in deception. Basically her only power is that she’s an extremely convincing liar and can even tell when other people are lying. Her favourite thing is to work gaining someone’s trust and then stab them in the back in the worst possible way, multiple times even if her victim is that dumb. You can totally not trust anything she says, but she can also work that in her favor. Her lies are often mixed with truth and it is impossible to tell them apart, so trying to figure out when she’s being honest is always frustrating.

Her theme is holy because her recurring scheme is posing as a representative of Mawul, the element of light, to gain the faith of mortals and trick them. Also she just really likes robes. Her primary sin is envy and she also enjoys singing and making ceramic pots. She is also okay at playing the piano and has always kind of hated her lack of hair.

My headcanon voice for her is Petra Karjalainen

Like most demons, everything Decipio does is in the name of Gervaisse, the element of shadow and the devil of Heartorio, and she hopes one day Gervaisse will recognize her evil and she’ll become one of the elite demons. I plan to make her one one day, as later in the story she gains a new ability, which I’m not gonna explain here cause it’s a bit complex and pretty weak at first but once she trains it it’s gonna be pretty op and definitely of use to Gervaisse.

Decipio loves being evil, but sometimes she wonders what it would be like to settle down and live a quiet life with someone, but she tries not to think about those thoughts. She doesn’t have a lot of friends because even the other demons don’t trust her, even though her loyalty to Gervaisse extends to them as well. She is a backstabber by nature, but when she’s loyal to someone it’s neverending, but she has basically no way to truly prove it. Gervaisse is in fact one of the few people who trusts Decipio completely and never doubts her and that’s why Decipio is so eager to please him.

Decipio also uncanonically refers to memes and modern pop culture because it amuses her, not really caring if she’s being cringy

Grand Glamour

This guy is kind of a joke character, cause he’s the son of Gervaisse and Gavril, after Gavril lost his position as a world element and became a human. It’s weird because Gervaisse absolutely loathes Gavril, who loves to annoy Gervaisse as much as possible, but they ended up having sex anyway. Gavril dies before Grand is even born so he’s not involved in raising him, but he does reincarnate so they’ll meet at one point of the story (like after a 25 year timeskip yep that’s a thing that’s gonna happen).

Grand is kind of an annoying guy and a bit spoiled, but he has enthusiasm in everything he does. He is all about performing and entertainment and he’s got the charisma for it. His powers include shapeshifting which he inherited from Gervaisse and he can also control people with his singing, but doesn’t really use it often because he wants the genuine adoration of people (he does occasionally use it because he’s so used to getting what he wants, Gervaisse kind of spoiled him in that way). He also has a thing for long hair and WILL touch it without permission.

He also has a headcanon voice, which is Pekka Kuorikoski (can you guess the pattern for choosing voices for my characters?)

Mortimer Hearty

Morty is a former human that was turned into a demon by Gervaisse (which he does to souls he sees potential in) and I don’t have much figured out of his backstory beyond that. He is one of the elite demons because of his op power, which is the Look Book (I might change that, that is a really dumb name). His power is that whenever he meets someone, he can then peer into their hearts and access all information about them, which manifests into the form of the book. He can then access this information whenever he wants and it updates itself automatically. He has no problem keeping tabs of all the people’s info he’s got and reaccessing it.

Personality-wise Morty is pretty quiet, but has a creepy side to him which is him eagerly collecting and going through people’s private information and using it to blackmail them. He is also quite unpopular among the other demons, but a few who feel like they have nothing to hide admire and respect him.

Cole Conniver

Also known as “the Reqruiter” since his main job is to seek out living mortals who might interest Gervaisse and ensuring that they end up in his service. He is also one of the elite demons and his power is also op: he has his own personal pocket dimension in which he can store and retrieve objects and even people he has touched. He also has the ability to make anything that’s in his pocket dimension vanish out of existence (Decipio uncanonically refers to this as Za Hando and it annoys him greatly).

Conniver is pretty pretentious, sweet-talking, and grumpy whenever things don’t go his way. He is one of the older demons so he’s pretty old-fashioned and doesn’t really like younger demons such as Decipio (who’s 340 but that’s young compared to him).

Illusoun

Finally we have (perhaps) the first demon Gervaisse ever created. She was made to perform a task and that is the eternal torture of mortals souls which end up in hell. In both heaven and hell the souls will have endless, life-like dreams and in hell those are of course the worst nightmares they could imagine. Illusoun is a master of these dreams and illusions, but she has a lot of underlings to do most of the work, she just supervises it these days.

Her power is being able to make people have any kind of dreams; their worst nightmares or even their hopes and dreams. Her dreams are so life-like and well-crafted that they are indistinguishable from reality which makes people fear and avoid her, because she does occasionally enjoy messing with people’s minds, making them wonder whether she’s made them dream, sometimes putting slight contradictions in them to see if they can notice. She can do this all in a blink of an eye, making you have a dream that felt like a lifetime and then watching you struggle readjusting to the real world again.

Illusoun is a very high-ranking and respected elite demon, though some demons do wonder whether she still has a use as a lot of the more lower-ranking demons do most of her job for her now. She doesn’t have many friends besides Decipio, a fellow demon in the art of deception. She might have a bit of an unrequited love for Decipio, either because she hasn’t told her about her feelings or because Decipio wasn’t interested, but I might make them a couple at some point, I don’t know.

Illusoun has a very peculiar aura that affects people in close proximity to her. Many people describe it as like falling asleep while you’re standing. A lot of people dislike being around her because of this feeling, while others find it comforting and even addicting, but the fear of being put under one of her spells usually makes them anxious about it.

(I’m not really sure about her colours, I might change those at some point, but I wanted a reference of her for this post)

She also kinda has a hc voice, I’m not set on it because it’s been really hard figuring it out, but for now it’s Arja Koriseva

[thenexusofsouls]

“Why Didn’t You Do More?”- The Superhero’s Reality, and Why It Differs From Our Own

So this is a random rant of mine on the mindsets of some superhero characters and how we, as writers, can distinguish between the way they react to things and the way mundane people might. I do want to say that this will likely not have any solid point to it, haha, I just love to analyze things sometimes. It’s fun for me. So just think of this as a nice mental exercise.

Just for some background, this was prompted by a few conversations with friends, but also partially influenced by a line in a song, Holocene, from the movie The Judge. I recently watched this movie, and it’s amazing by the way, I highly recommend it, but be prepared for detailed and graphic scenes involving the effects of cancer and chemotherapy if that triggers you, as well as some kick-your-feels-in-the-face family drama. There’s a song used a few times throughout it that has lyrics that seem a bit weird and disjointed, but if you really sit down and think about them, there are some themes that stick out that are relevant to the characters. Being stuck in the past, remembering the past as being better than it was, wanting to go back instead of improving the way you are now, lying to yourself about things, and most importantly, accepting failure and loss of control of a situation. There’s a line in the song that I’ve been stuck on lately, namely, “...and at once I knew I was not magnificent,” and it’s really made me think about this concept in the context of the lives of some Avengers.

In the movie, Robert Downey Jr.’s character (who is so very much like Tony Stark if he had decided to be a lawyer as far as personality) has a very pointed, personal, and heartbreaking failure moment. It’s painful to watch his character break down simply for what the failure means for the character and those they love, but also on an emotional level as you think about where the character’s head is at. He was a character who prided himself on always succeeding, no matter what (trying not to spoil the movie here for everyone and probably failing hard, heh). It never occurred to him that he could fail. Some might look at that and just think he was just an arrogant asshole with an ego the size of a planet, and maybe that’s true on some level for this particular character, but in extrapolating his psychology to that of some characters in the MCU, I think there’s a point at which arrogance and a massive ego can become paradoxically altruistic and selfless for characters with abilities that are larger than life. And because the stakes and expectations placed upon them are just as large, that makes things like failure even more heartbreaking for them. As Peter Parker said in Captain America: Civil War, "When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you." There’s not just a feeling of personal failure, but also a feeling of letting down a large group of innocent people as well… perhaps even the whole world, or on the level of Thanos as the opponent, the universe.

I’ve been wrapped up in analyzing this mindset lately, and thinking about that one line in the song, and it’s moved from the character in The Judge to Tony Stark and also Wanda Maximoff and their early failures with Thanos. In pondering their epic failures on a massive worldwide superhero level, the concept of altruistic arrogance, or a selfless ego, is a paradox that I think deserves some discussion. I think it embodies the mindset of a superhero who, while he/she may be human, does not have the same psychology with regard to approaching problems or viewing their life or the world around them as someone without their exceptional abilities might.

When Tony and Wanda fail to defeat Thanos in Infinity War, their failure comes as a painful shock to them, not only because of what’s at stake and the guilt that comes with letting down those they care about, but because they realize in that moment that failure was inevitable, because their best (at that point in time, at least) was always going to be not enough. And they didn’t know it. It’s like being let in on a joke after everyone’s already laughed at it at your expense… and the joke isn’t funny. I’ve been asked by some people in talking about various parts of Infinity War, why did they give up? I’m referring to these moments here, when Tony and Wanda appear to just go limp and space out and just… stop fighting, as they’re being essentially patronized by Thanos:

They’re not giving up, they’re overwhelmed. They’ve stopped for two reasons: 1) they’re legitimately exhausted after throwing out everything they had to offer, and 2) the realization that they were not strong enough even at their best is an arresting and stunning one in a very literal sense. They’ve already given it their all, and now they’re at a loss. Their goal isn’t accomplished, their loved ones are not out of danger, and yet they’re spent, they’re done. That is not something they have ever encountered before.

Let’s back up a bit and look at where Tony Stark and Wanda Maximoff’s minds are at by the time they reach Infinity War. Tony has been haunted by a vision placed in his head by Wanda since Age of Ultron, one that showed him all the Avengers dead and/or dying, in which Steve says “You could have saved us,” and “Why didn’t you do more?” While it is debated in the fandom whether what she showed him was the manifestation of his worst nightmare or an actual premonition of the future or both, its effect on Tony is staggering. From that moment onward, he is preparing to make sure that vision never comes to pass, but unfortunately, he’s got the wrong focus. He believes the way it could come to pass or why it might be possible is if he doesn’t try hard enough, either because he isn’t willing or he isn’t able to tap into his full potential. The fault, he believes, will lie with him and his willingness to go the distance for his friends, or, that he won’t be prepared enough and ready to whip out the full breadth of his power and ability. It never occurs to him that there was nothing he could do to prepare enough for that moment because he was already inherently unable to defeat Thanos then, through no fault of his own. He simply is not going to be strong enough by that time.

So for someone like Tony with a huge ego who I think believes that there is nothing he cannot accomplish if he tries hard enough, and for someone like him who is deathly terrified of being left alone in a world of friends dead because of his failure, coming to the realization that he “was not magnificent,” that yes, he has real limits that in this case mean he is not good enough… is psyche-shattering. His massive ego in believing he was capable of anything with enough prep and determination collided with his selfless desire to protect people he loved (like Peter), and guess what? The great and powerful Tony Stark wasn’t good enough. Imagine how utterly arresting that thought must have been for him. Well, you don’t have to imagine it, you can see it on his face. It’s the face of someone with a literal genius-level intellect suddenly realizing he’s out of ideas.

Turning now to Wanda, she’s lost nearly everyone she has ever loved. Her parents, her twin brother, and now Vision, someone she has fallen in love with, is being threatened. Her first instinct back in Edinburgh is to ask him if maybe they shouldn’t stay out of what’s going on. She doesn’t say that because she’s cowardly or selfishly trying to ignore the plight of others, she’s just terrified of losing yet another person she loves, and quite possibly the last person in her life that she is very close to. Her mindset is to play it safe, because as she learned from her brother, being a protector gets you killed. However, when Vision makes the decision to involve himself, Wanda immediately follows suit, because now she has to be his protector. She is not going to allow another person she loves to die. Bold of her to believe that she had that choice, that it was at all in her hands and within her control to decide that Vision would be safe, and that all it took was her decision to choose to protect him. Wanda is really freaking powerful, and I think that power disturbs her at times. Because of this, I doubt that she had fully explored the limits of her power by that point. I headcanon that she always had in the back of her mind, my limits are far above what I can imagine, and thought that if she whipped out all the power she possible could, she could do anything, destroy anything, kill anyone. It was untested and nebulous in her mind, but not unlike Tony, I think she thought that the potential for failure here was in her not being vigilant enough, not trying hard enough. Pietro died because she wasn’t there to protect him, she believes. So this time she’s going to be there for Vision. Unfortunately, that meant killing him at one point, but ignoring that for a moment, I think Wanda believed that she could hold Thanos back indefinitely and, if necessary, kill him, and it just wasn’t there. The ability, the potential, her focus, her scope at that point would not allow her to do that. It’s not her fault, really, and yet she failed Vision and everyone else. Which brings me to my next point…

Realizing that there was nothing more they could possibly have done to change this outcome, due to their own limitations their egos would not allow them to see before, does not change the level of grief, guilt, and emotional distress that they feel. If anything, it magnifies it. When superheroes fail on this level, they haven’t just let themselves down, they haven’t just let their immediate friends and loved ones down, they’ve let the world down. In this case, the universe. That is an immense amount of pressure to place on a person who, until a short time ago, fully believed that they were capable of stopping this from happening. Being told it wasn’t their fault or anything like that is never going to comfort them, because friends and loved ones are still dead, and everywhere they go there will be reminders of their failure. People who don’t understand may even outright blame them for what happened. When you or I fail at something, we might feel like sheesh okay, I suck, heh… or we acknowledge that it was outside out control and try to improve for later. When Tony and Wanda failed, they had to deal with personal failure, guilt, grief, and the weight of responsibility of so many lives on their shoulders. Wanda was spared a lot of that initially because she got snapped, but Tony was left to deal with it, and we all know how well Tony deals with crushing emotional issues…

Failure for a superhero means more than just letting oneself down, and when their (whether intentional or unintentional) arrogance permits them to believe that the possibility of success is theirs to grasp if they only put in the effort, the distance they fall when they’re knocked off that pedestal is even higher, the impact when they hit the ground even greater. So the listlessness, the thousand-yard stare, the silence (uncharacteristic from Tony to say the least)… you’re watching someone’s ego literally break down before your eyes and have to accept the unacceptable… that their worst-case scenario they 100% could never deal with emotionally in a hundred years is now coming to pass.

Superheroes live in a different reality from us (yes, because they’re fictional, haha, but I’m talking existentially here, not literally). Life won’t let them not think about the larger picture, whether they would prefer to or not. Imagine if you tried your very best, maybe even purposely prepared for some confrontation for years, and you know that there was not an ounce more of strength or power you could have unleashed on the problem… and you still failed. The shame, the guilt, the heartbreak… on top of now having to sit and watch the worst unfold because… you’re now out of ideas. Being a superhero, there’s always something new to try. A new idea, a new power, a new ability, a new piece of tech, a new strategy… Well what happens when this was already plan Z and there is literally nothing left to try? It’s a scary mindset to live in, and when the stakes are that high and the hearts involved are already that damaged (Tony and Wanda have suffered a lot and clearly would have done anything to make sure more death and suffering didn’t occur), it’s the worst time to find out that you weren’t good enough. And that blame that mundane people might place on them? You better believe they’re also placing it on themselves. And maybe that’s where the ego comes back into play. Nope, it was my fault, there was something more I could’ve done, I just didn’t realize it or see it. And that may not have been true, but that’s easier to believe and process, even as painful as it is, than to simply accept that there was no way they were ever going to be powerful enough to defeat the threat in that moment. There was nothing more they could have done. They did everything right, and it wasn’t good enough.

And here we could get into a discussion of fate and predestination, maybe regarding Dr. Strange’s multitudes of multiverses and time threads in which things could have gone differently. At what point did all those threads boil down into the “one” that he saw in which the Avengers won against Thanos? How far back does one have to go in time for there to have been multiple winning options? Or… was this always going to be the single, only option? Was all of this predetermined since time began to culminate in these moments in this exact way in order to be the one winning outcome? How set in stone were Tony and Wanda’s failures, and for how long? Or is it all just randomly shifting with each new decision, each new divergence in the path, like trains shifting tracks? It’s an interesting discussion to get into, but that is a whole ‘nother meta topic for another day, heh.

Alright, I think I’ve ranted on this enough. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this! Any thoughts or ideas on this yourselves? I would love to hear some other opinions on this topic. I love getting into philosophical and psychological discussions about my muses. =)

[ooops-i-arted]

15 Day SWTOR OC Challenge

15. Free day. Anything you’d like to talk about that wasn’t covered goes here. Fun facts? Not-fun facts? Go wild. I don’t own you.

A bunch of random tidbits about my OCs??  Don’t mind if I do!

Avei

Avei is right-handed but can use her left hand well enough in most situations to be somewhat ambidextrous.

She makes many jokes about how good she is with her hands.

She smol, about 5′2″.

After Corso gave her Flashy and Sparkles she uses them exclusively.  She always wanted cool modded blasters but could never afford them, so she treasures her pair and keeps them in top condition.

Avei loves to tinker with stuff and does it to calm down or soothe herself.  She feels the same about ship maintenance and if she’s stressed will just open a random panel and tune up everything inside.

Her favorite place in her ship is the cockpit.  She loves to sit and just watch the stars.

She got her fancy blue dress one night when Avei went home with a Coruscant socialite for fun times, her dad came home early, and Avei grabbed the wrong set of clothes on her way out the back door.

When Avei was about eight, an Organa noble’s kid snuck on board Atr’ii’s ship.  He wasn’t very useful - more enamored with the ~glamour~ of a rogue’s life than any of the reality - but he was a convenient babysitter for Avei so Atr’ii let him stick around for a few weeks.  He would teach Avei all sorts of fancy noble mannerly things to entertain her and she went through a princess phase for a while.  As an adult she finds it useful when she does a job smuggling for a more white collar client.

She also went through a Jedi phase as a kid.  When she met Skye she was immediately excited to have a cool Jedi friend.  (Skye took a while to warm up.)

Avei can be charming and suave for short periods of time but if you get to know her at all the fact that she’s huge dork is revealed.

She loves puns.  The worse, the better.

Her idea of seducing her husband is “Hey farmboy, let me ride your tractor, I can drive stick hurr hurr”

Avei thinks hair is weird af.  Obviously she’s used to being around humans and everything, but it’s still weird to her.  If drunk enough she will play with people’s hair.

She will dance sober but dance even more enthusiastically if drunk.  She will only sing when drunk, and when she does it is loud and terrible.

Avei’s favorite song is the Star Wars equivalent of Uptown Funk.

If you make slave girl or dancer comments to her face, she will shoot you, most likely in the junk.

She hates the Hutts and the Cartel because of their enslavement of her people.  When she needs a girl’s night, she, Risha, Akaavi, and sometimes Skye will go rob some Hutt business or another.

She is not an animal person.  At all.  She was incredibly salty about Risha putting the shanjaru on her ship.

There are NPC lines about statues being built of your PC.  At least one of Avei gets built.  Avei has a holo of her touching her own butt.  She then made Corso pose for a holo of him touching her butt.  They are framed and displayed in their house.  Avei is very proud of them.

Kiva refuses to bring her first girlfriend home because of them.  Corso ensures the holodisplay is mysteriously not working when needed for her sake.

Avei suspects she knows why the holodisplay keeps mysteriously going out but she likes tinkering with stuff too much to really complain.  Also she makes the picture bigger each time.

She prefers fruity sweets over chocolate.  Her favorite is a specific brand of sugared shuura fruit imported from Naboo.

Illivrin

Illivrin, being raised in a poor subsistence farming community and then being a slave, has a very low-grade education.  In American terms, she probably wouldn’t have even graduated high school.

She has poor reading and writing skills.  She struggles to read at more than a slow pace, and her handwriting is rough chicken scratches.  She completes everything she can digitally.

This is how Sali’ra manages to turn Illivrin’s base against her; Illivrin gives Sali’ra more and more paperwork over the years so Sali’ra gets more and more intel and can start manipulating Illivrin’s underlings accordingly right under her nose.

Also due to this she will eat anything.  If she gets it and it looks vaguely edible and she’s sure it’s not poisoned, she will eat it.  Her diet is terrible.

She is extremely paranoid about poison being hidden in richly flavored dishes, and avoids fancy foods.  Her diet mainly consists of ration bars, some vegetables, and crappy roasted meat.

Illivrin is right handed.

Like Avei, she pretty smol.  About 5′5″.

She is incredibly strong in the Force.  The Anakin Skywalker of her day.  I don’t give a rat’s ass what KotFE canon says about Vaylin.

She is hardcore introverted, and is honestly happiest wandering in the depths of a Sith tomb alone or with just Khem, looking at weird artifacts.

Unlike Bioware I did not forget about the Silencer.  Illivrin will take any excuse to whip it out and point it at an enemy.  It’s like Life Day for her.

She isn’t a fan of music, and prefers quieter recordings of obscure classics from Imperial and Sith cultures if she does have to listen to something.  Generally things that sound like quiet wailing to the untrained ear.

She doesn’t like to wear things heavier than a scarf on her face or neck because it reminds her of her slave collar.  She still treasures the Mask of Kallig, but it’s the only exception.

For this reason she keeps her hair short until she is exiled, when she doesn’t have a way to cut it regularly.

She didn’t trust anyone with scissors near her neck and had a barber droid, which she mindwipes regularly to avoid tampering.

She kept bangs grown out on one side because she is self-conscious of the burn scar on her face.

Illivrin’s Force powers manifested while she was a slave in the form of a Muggle Repellent charm-type thing.  Any slave overseer getting ideas about the nearest female slave got hit with a massive, uncontrolled “STAY TF AWAY” wave from her through the Force; all they knew was that they suddenly got a horrible headache.

Because of her days as a slave, Illivrin enjoys killing slave owners and...the slaves.

She kills the owner first in a horrible, horrible painful way ofc.

But then because her mindset is “I would rather die than be a slave again” she kills the slaves too, because slavery is a fate worse than death and as far as she’s concerned, she’s saving them.  The slaves do not see it this way.

Illivrin’s final end is when Kiva reverses the binding rituals, frees the Sith ghosts Illivrin bound, and in turn binds Illivrin to an eternal prison in a tomb on Yavin 4.  She is trapped there, separated from Khem Val, the only person she ever cared about, for all eternity.

It is a deeply beloved and self-indulgent headcanon of mine that at some point Anakin Skywalker finds her prison tomb thing and she fries his bitch ass.

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

We Know The Sans Is Steven Theory, But Here Is A New Theory...and other stuff.

okay I’m not sure how many have figured this out,

but I’m pretty sure that some have figured out

you can find “Sans” name

by doing this Steven Quartz Universe

but do know what you get when you do the same thing with Connie’s name?

you get Connie Maheswaran 

when you bold the first letter of Connie’s name,

then do the same with the “h” and the “a, r and a” in her family name.

it spells out Chara, same goes for Steven’s name

when you bold the first letter of his name, then bold the “a”

of his middle name, then bold the “n” and “s” of his “last name.”

and you get Sans.

so because of how Connie’s name spells out Chara,

I have a fan theory that Chara would be like the reincarnation of Connie.

and I have just notice while watching a DVD of Steven Universe Future

(I’m so happy that I got the complete series on dvd.)

I notice that the places on the X-Ray of Steven’s skeleton,

kind of reminds me of Gaster, if you ignore the line on the very top,

and focus on the other two lines on the skull, it might remind some of you of Gaster, well it’s fine that many see it.

but I didn’t really notice it before until today.

plus if Sans and Steven are one and the same,

and he was adopted by Gaster or was reborn as his son,

by having Gaster use magic to infuse him with, and having a piece of a fragment of his soul and his wife or life-partner’s soul fragment.

then that would make him his son, even if he did start out as just a half-human and half-gem, well his soul would still be a hybrid, having a gem’s soul,

or better known as a Physical Conscious Manifestation of Light,

which is what I believe the Monsters in Undertale are,

their physical bodies are but physical consciousnesses, that are manifestations of light from their souls, their souls make the magic/light of their bodies appear before the physical world, while their souls stay covered by their physical manifestation of light.

it might also be a pretty crazy theory,

but if the whole Undertale/Deltarune and Steven Universe were connected,

but I believe that the Monsters in both the Alternate Reality Universes,

could be descendants of half of the human tribes,

that were hit by the corruption light by White, Yellow and Blue Diamond.

of course if the three of them, plus Steven, did use their powers to heal their descendants that are known as “Monsters”, it wouldn’t heal all the changes of their genetic makeup.

maybe make them have them have physical bodies that aren’t made up of physical consciousnesses of magical light of their souls.

but their bodies would be able to use magic and be in-tuned with their soul.

since the humans that imprisoned them had spears, while some had some form of magical spears, it could of been that the ones that helped imprisoned the monsters in underground, were Gems or Monsters who turned on them.

or it could of been Gems.

if the Diamonds did cause some kind of evolution on half of the humans on Earth, I think the other half of the human tribes could of ended up still being human, because they were underground, but the other half didn’t listen to Rose about going to safety in case the war between the Crystal Gems & Home-World Gems, got really REALLY bad.

so it might be possible that if it were canon

(but only if it was made canon, but might be some kind of tier number of canon, while not being in the canon of the show, since it is completed.)

if the monsters were sealed Underground for maybe 5000 years or so,

would that mean that when the first humans became monsters, thanks to the Diamonds, they had for a few generations forgot where they came from, that their ancestors use to be humans, and they were the first to transform into monsters because of the Diamonds.

and then during that time, the Monster Vs Humans started,

and the Humans imprisoned their own kind.

if the theory were canon, and not just a fan headcanon.

the monsters who were imprisoned, would still be humans.

they just were magically evolved.

plus if Steven and Sans are one and the same,

then Sans, plus Papyrus, would have a lot of Rose Quartz for Sisters.

of course they would be Feminine, but not Female.

the whole Feminine and Masculine doesn’t always have to do with the binary.

just picture Superfan-Rose picking Papyrus up in a big hug.

and calling him Little Bro.

well technically both him and Sans would be the “little brothers” of all those Rose Quartz, because Pink created them.

even though I still love both shows of Steven Universe,

I still am disappointed in Greg, even if he was a good dad in the other half of Steven’s life, but he wasn’t responsible when it came to caring for Steven’s human half properly.

even if a parent can be a good parent at times, there are different ways to be neglectful, even if you don’t mean to.

it’s okay that not many see Greg that way, and I wont force anyone to agree,

but Greg is no better than Rose, sure they both have something about them that was good, but they weren’t truly 100% good people.

they hurt others, really badly.

when we first watch the series, we never truly see Greg as being neglectful

towards Steven, but then we start to realize later on

that Greg is kind of a bad parent, even if he can be a good parent the other times, he still a bad parent.

for me to come to this conclusion,

it was when I was watching Steven Universe Future.

I know some fans had given up on watching the rest of the episodes,

but it’s fine if they don’t want to.

this morning when I was watching the episode

that comes before the very last episode,

I was moved to tears.

Steven was going through a lot, and he really need to be shown that everyone is there for him and hug him when he was in that very, very, super dark place he was in.

Steven might be a Gem, but he is also Human.

even if he is immune to being poof, he can still suffer the same way as full humans can.

  even if there are still fans that like Greg, and maybe I do too.

but my like for him has went down a little bit,

because of finding out about his past, and how I started to realize

that he was technically being neglectful to his son.

once more, there are different ways to be neglectful.

with the money that he got from Marty,

he could of put Steven in school, or maybe hired him a tutor.

oh and let’s not forget he could of took him to the hospital.

it’s good that Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet were there to teach him about Gem culture, but Greg should of been more responsible to make sure that Steven had a perfect balance of both his heritages.

even if both he and Greg became on good terms at the last episode of Steven Universe.

it still isn’t okay with what Greg did, I mean at least some parents have some excuses, but he probably didn’t have a understandably sound excuse that would pardon him from his actions.

even if he wanted to be a “Cool Dad.”

he is truly no better than Rose when she was Pink Diamond,

I still think that Rose becoming “Rose Quartz”, does count as a form of

Trans-Gem, which is different from Transgendered.

for gems it is something like Pink Diamond taken on the permanent appearance

of a Rose Quartz, even if her gem is still a diamond.

her disguise became her new form when she reformed after faking her shattering.

even if Rose had learned to love and had made friends with those she fought along side with.

it doesn’t change the fact that she hurt her family, friends and anyone else that had loved her before.

we can still like Greg and Rose, but what they did that ended up hurting those around them, doesn’t change most fans feelings.

not all fans have to agree about it, but Greg hurt his parents,

and Rose hurt White, Yellow and Blue.

even if half of Rose’s punishments weren’t justified.

I believe that the only time they were, were when she let her temper get too out of hand, and then when it did, she would have to be put in the tower.

Rose was a....witch, when she tricked Spinel.

if the warp pad was still connected to the garden, then she could of went to get Spinel after war with the home-world gems.

but she didn’t, she just left her there for 6000 years.       

and that caused Spinel damage when she found out the truth.

 by the way, I was watching something on Youtube,

well I wasn’t signed in, but I was watching this Video,

that has do to do with finding out your Guardian Angel’s name.

don’t think it worked for me though.

sure I got this feeling on the middle of my forehead,

but the name that pop into my head can’t be them.

because after the name came popping into my head, and I tried to look their name up on Youtube....I just well, I don’t know.

I did ask my pendulum today (I saw the video other day.)

but it might be on one of it’s joke kicks, even if it is saying “Yes”

which once again is when they go clockwise fast for Yes.

 even if the title says it really works,

it might not of worked for me though, maybe for everyone else.

even if your guardian angel could willingly tell ya their name,

it is highly possible that mine didn’t throw it.

and the whole Sariel popping into my head, had nothing to do with it.

I just don’t think I was able to do it, maybe I can try again sometime.

I’m listening to Cups & Casinos: Devil’s Advocate.

it really good, even the animation is good.

Devil ain’t getting my soul, he ain’t the boss of me. XP

even if my pendulum did give a “Yes”

when I ask about the whole Earth Angels TECHNICALLY being the younger siblings of Archangels and Higher-Up Angels.

 well I am still gonna hope Divine Mother gets custody of me.

I can still believe in the Divine Father too.

it’s fine that not everyone understands my reasons and the thoughts....

I still plan to talk to my family about the whole Asexuality thing,

just can’t come out and tell them I had discovered that I’m Aroaceflux.

or the fact that I’m not a Christian, like once again I once did thought I was...

but turns out I’m a Ma-Acolyte.

I still believe in some of the ways that my family that are Christian, do.

but the only differences is I believe in the Divine Mother too.

I still think it is wrong to force convert others, and hopefully humans will try not to do that, and try to let others decide by their own will.

by the way, I don’t think I will have to worry about dream-walking.

even if my pendulum could of pulling some prank,

I ain’t taking the chance of it not being a prank.

plus I can’t just come out and tell someone in my family,

that they are kind of being toxic-religious,

because they mistake me using the “H” word as for something else,

which I was only using it to explain about the possibility of what would happen to a certain woman, if it turned out her plans were true....

 and if my pendulum isn’t pulling a prank, and is being truthful.

I guess it could be true that in one of my past lives,

which had to do with me being named Tamar in one of them,

I or her that was my past life, didn’t have a guardian angel to protect her.

but it could be pulling one of it’s pranks.

but I wont rule it out fully for not being possibly true.

my pendulum can be a prankster,

I asked if it I had more than one guardian angel, I asked if I had three guardian angels, and it gave a “Yes”....so yeah, it is obviously in it’s prankster mode. 

it’s still giving a “Yes” about me having eight energy wings.

still giving a “Yes” About the deer energy antlers and lion tail.

which if it were true, it would mean that only those with psychic abilities would be able to see them. I can’t see them even if my pendulum gave a Yes about me having them.

the eight wings thing is so a prank it’s pulling, two wings I will believe,

even about the habit about my energy wings hugging around me when I get nervous or sad or upset of any kind,

even the whole them turning into flame wings if I get really mad.

but it’s okay that not everyone believes that kind of thing, but the whole eight wings.....it has to be pulling one of it’s pranks.

anyway back to the whole theories.

no one has to agree about the whole Sans being Steven’s future self,

the same way not everyone has to agree about Chara being Connie’s future reincarnation.

but even if that were true, Stevonnie is forever.

which if Chara existed in the Deltarune world,

and goes to college with the Asriel that lives in that world.

then that version of Chara, can be ship with Sans.

it would be pretty much too late for them to be ship in most timelines,

where they hate each others guts....

and have no idea that they had a past together, as Steven and Connie.

plus no matter if Chara in any fanon timeline,

is Male, Female, Agender, Andro-Agender or Gyno-Agender.

they would still possibly be Connie’s next life self.

 I know I had explained this before,

but I will again....the Andro-Agender & Gyno-Agender,

is a bigender identity and is both Binary & Non-Binary.    

plus if Connie Maheswaran is Chara, and have some of her memories

from their time as Connie and may remember about learning how to fight with a sword thanks to Pearl.

it wouldn’t mean they would willingly share them with their adoptive family,

or even with Frisk or even Sans, who was their boyfriend in their past life as Connie Maheswaran.

 I’m so glad that in the end of Steven Universe Future,

Connie and Steven ended up as boyfriend & girlfriend.

my other theory is that even if Chara is Connie’s reincarnation,

they could perhaps not remember their past life as Connie,

but maybe they could be triggered in remembering.

same way if Sans ended up with amnesia, all he would know is that his family is Papyrus, Gaster and whoever else is related him.

like the different versions of his mother that isn’t Rose/Pink.

he would not have any memories of being half-human & half-gem,

or his true love being a human.

but because of the bad blood,

most versions of them wont end up back together.

but most would get along and just have a friendship or family type bond,

with no romantic feelings whatsoever.

it be interesting if the two parts which makes up Chara and Connie,

could speak to each other.

like Connie trying to get through to Chara when they become in doubt,

and feel like taking their anger out on Frisk or the Player or anyone else, for using them as a scapegoat.

Connie and Chara talking to each other, could be a type of split personality,

but the part of them that is Connie, could physical appear to them, like a ghost.

but not everyone has to agree about that.

or about Chara being Connie’s reincarnation.

or about my theory about how Flowey makes up Asriel’s memories,

while Ralsei makes up the Soul part.

anyway I’m gonna just go check out some stuff on there now.

like Ask Flowey.

I’m not even gonna put tags for this.

so see ya later and stay safe everyone.            

[thisstableground]

APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE FOR THIS POST BEING AN ENTIRE NOVEL IM NOT GOOD AT BEING CONCISE

fandom in general: it seems more like a ruben fandom in general than a DNH fandom. i mean, most of us have probably only seen the supercut and i know a lot of people who have watched the full show don’t necessarily have much good to say about it. it’s. not the best written show, to put it lightly. i have a lot of issues with it. how they  made one of my favourite characters of all time is BAFFLING. BUT the fandom community is genuinely the best, most friendly, creative fandom experience i’ve ever had! i don’t think i’ll ever find anything to compare to it.

i think the content i write kinda covers my feelings on ruben in general: he’s a really, really good character to project trauma onto and to find some catharsis with. i get that from writing him, i know a lot of others do too. i feel like the sentence i hear most in this fandom is “he deserved better!” and there’s something very satisfying about recognising that he reall did, and getting into the nitty-gritty of things the show overlooked (like how fucked up the things that happened to ruben even pre-jamaica are, or the realities of ptsd, or the fact that jason sucks), and giving him some hope, or a happy relationship, or just like a chance to take a little nap safely.

i got a couple of fic universes! i have written 33 DNH fics!!! there is a chance this is too many!!!

there’s the DNH-only stuff. that’s all like, canon-ish and immediately post-canon and that’s a whole lot of the very intense PTSD stuff, when he’s still coming to terms with what happens in the show and in jamaica. he’s sort of my basis for every ruben i write. i feel like there’s this weird specific rite of passage when you’re writing ruben fic of like “okay, so what uniquely horrible thing happened to him there” – that’s also, i think, where the general fanon interpretation of him as having scars comes from. (which i’m not saying was entirely my fault but certainly wasn’t not my fault. but it’s also just kind of a logical progression of “okay, well, we’re all going to ignore the show’s implication that he died but Something big and awful has to have happened” so i’m not gonna claim full credit).

 then there’s less than ninety degrees verse!! this is my baby and the thing i’ve made i’m proudest of! and also where i mainly write these days. that’s the DNH/ITH crossover where a while after he’s come back to america, ruben moves to washington heights to get away from all his bad memories of philadelphia and jason and IMH, and then he makes friends with and eventually ends up dating usnavi and vanessa (as always feel compelled to point out that ruben and usnavi look very different to each other in my head). started out as a joke ship that immediately i fell in love with and wrote like 300k for, whoops! there’s basically a little bit of everything in here in terms of genre/mood/focus

then there’s like a couple other things scattered around – selkieverse, which is also UVR but is an excuse to play around with some folklore and a different writing style and also just a natural manifestation of the fact that ruben looks uncannily like a baby harp seal. and some other fics here and there that are usually just silly askfic

fic recs: for my own, in the UVR category 90verse is kinda best read as a series, and please do read it i’m proud of it! if you just want DNH no crossover, then read maps won’t show us where we’re going for jamaica angst and still hearing phantom waves for immediate post-trauma stuff (not a direct continuation of maps, even tho the same thing happened to ruben in both)

for others, i’ma recommend literally any UVR fic because there are some great ones which are not written by me out there. and outside of shipping, shoutout to  bloom which is the fic that first made me absolutely certain on my then-tentative autistic ruben headcanon oh so long ago, and scratch out a place to sit and rest down in the dark  which a) is Very New!! New Content!! and b) hits all my emotions about PTSD ruben and which you should all go leave a nice comment on

This goes out to @thisstableground, @kikabennet and @tiredalwavs , ans @pika-ace . Because you are the main writers in the DNH fandom, can you all give insight on your work and how you view Ruben and how he fits into your fic universe and how you feel about DNH fandom as a whole?

I will be doing the same thing shortly with ITH, Hamilton, HDM, and Mary Poppins. My blog is about to undergo a large LMM character makeover! I want to have 'voices' on each character post and I would appreciate feedback from the ones who support the Ruben Marcado fandom.

Please tag others I may have missed! And please share your favourite fics (your own or someone else's) but only if they involve Ruben Marcado.

Cheers!