#my jacket made me cry earlier because it’s the jacket she likes to jump on and tear up

[trippedandmissed]

My cat got diagnosed with cancer and I’m… handling it, but not well. I haven’t made any decisions and mostly just keep bursting into tears whenever she does anything that normally makes me laugh. Six years of not being able to cry and now I caaaant stooooppp

[libraryofgage]

A Hop, a Skip, and a TARDIS Jump

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two (on the way!) Harley Quinn One 10th Doctor and Rose One (you're here!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz)

I know it says 10Rose up there, but this series starts with 9Rose, because 9 is also special blorbo in my heart hfjdks Christopher Eccleston didn't have to put his whole chest into the role but he did and I love that for him

Anyway, have fun with this one! We're getting time travel shenanigans coming up (and angst, def some angst, but it'll end sweet I promise), and a little meme at the end

As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't :)

Satellite Five 200,000

Running into the woman was an accident created by the chaos of something changing on Satellite Five. Steve doesn't know what that is, exactly, but he can feel it in the air, in the way the humans around him have started rushing, in how the food stands have suddenly ground to a halt. And he comes to a halt with them, his hearts speeding up in his chest as the frenzy reminds him of another time, another planet, another chaotic scene that ended with him being launched across time and space while his home died.

When he finally gathers his wits enough to move, he turns right into a woman's leg, bumping his nose hard against her and falling to the ground with a startled cry. He holds his nose, the bridge smarting and causing his eyes to water as he looks up at a pretty young blonde woman who immediately crouches in front of him.

"Sorry about that. You all right?" she asks, her hands hovering in the air like she wants to check him for injuries but doesn't want to make him uncomfortable.

The funny thing is, Steve has seen this woman before. He saw her earlier in the day, getting into the elevator with a journalist and a man, and he assumed he'd never see her again. Nobody who got in the elevator came back. He's so overwhelmed by the shock of seeing her again that he almost misses the familiar aura around her, the lingering traces of golden space dust and passing time.

Almost.

He stares at her with wide eyes, his tears actually falling now, and then throws himself into her arms. "What took so long?!" he cries, clinging to her shirt like he'll be thrown across time and space one more time if he lets go.

"Woah, hey now, no need for crying," she says, utterly confused but gently smoothing down his hair anyway. "What's wrong?"

After taking a few moments to calm down, Steve starts to answer when he realizes something. The woman only has one heart. He can only hear one set of beats in her chest. He jerks away, his hands trembling as he stares at her. She's still covered in that familiar aura, practically swimming in it, but she's not like him.

It hurts. Steve can feel the bitter cold of disappointment replacing the hope that had started to grow between his hearts. He thought...he thought he'd get to be with someone like him again. Maybe not his original family---they're dead, long gone, and Steve is never getting them back---but a new one that wouldn't let him feel quite so alone anymore.

Maybe she was just injured. That would explain it well enough.

"Where....where's your second heart?" he asks, his voice small as he grips the hem of his shirt to steady himself. "Y-you...why do you--"

Before Steve can get the rest of the question, a man in a leather jacket, looking slightly annoyed as he checks his pockets, appears next to the woman. "Right then. C'mon, Rose, we got dead weight to drop off," he says, his tone hard.

The woman, Rose, looks up at him. "Hold on a minute, Doctor," she says, "we've got to help him find his parents first."

Steve opens his mouth, wanting to say that won't be possible, as he looks up at the man. Their eyes meet, and the words get stuck in his throat. If Rose carried lingering space dust and passing time, this man is made of it. Steve can see the gold around him, swirling and calling, singing in a way he'd forgotten about. Even the name is familiar---not that Steve knows this particular Time Lord, of course, but he knows the conventions and traditions.

"I'm afraid that'll be impossible, Rose," the Doctor says, his voice softer and full of disbelief as he crouches next to her on the ground.

"What? How do you know?"

The Doctor doesn't answer her. He just holds a hand out to Steve, waiting patiently. When Steve takes it, the world finally rights itself. He can feel the blood pumping through the Doctor's veins, fast and powerful in a way only two hearts can manage. He can practically taste time and space coating his tongue as he steps closer. When Steve places his hand on the left side of the man's chest, feeling the beating of one heart before sliding his hand over to feel the other, he cries even harder than before.

And the Doctor cries, too.

It's not a loud crying, but he pulls Steve into his arms and holds him with the same desperation and fear that he'll disappear if he loosens his grip that Steve felt when he hugged Rose. "I thought...I thought I was the only one left," the Doctor says, moving his hand to cradle the back of Steve's head.

"Doctor, what's going on here?" Rose asks.

Steve peeks out at her, and then he's lifted into the air, still held in the Doctor's arms. His jacket smells like the past and future, a soothing scent that gets Steve to relax like he hasn't in a long time. "Long story short," the Doctor says, his voice still rough from crying but recovering, "you somehow bumped into the only Time Lord child in existence." A few moments pass before he speaks again, the smile and awe clear in his voice as he says, "You're just fantastic, Rose. Fantastic."

Despite his best efforts, Steve can't keep his eyes open long enough to see how she reacts or what the Doctor does next. The exhaustion of fending for himself and pushing away the despair of losing everything sweeps over him. This could all be a dream, and the Doctor might be a figment of his imagination that disappears when he wakes up, but Steve lets himself dream for now.

--------

Hawkins, Indiana, 1971

"Okay, Steve, go ahead."

Steve glances up at his father, shifts his gaze to his mother, and then approaches the console. He reaches up and starts turning a dial, ignoring his mother's excited noise and his father's interested hum. Once he's turned it enough, he walks around the console and pulls a lever, flips a switch, and yanks another dial two notches to the right. Then, when he's sure his parents can't hear him, he leans in close and whispers, "Take me wherever you'd like me to be, TARDIS."

He feels something warm and happy surge under his fingers where he's holding the console. Not a second later, the familiar whooshing sound of the TARDIS fills the room, and Steve hang on for dear life as his father shouts, "Fantastic! Where do you think we'll land, Rose?"

"Somewhere child-friendly, hopefully," his mother replies, grabbing his father's arm and holding on for dear life.

Steve grins, his hearts beating fast and hard behind his ribs as the TARDIS slowly comes to a stop, its engine quieting to a gentle whirring as it parks. "Go on then," his father says, appearing behind Steve and nudging him to the doors. "See where you've brought us."

With his breath stuck in his throat, Steve slowly pulls the left door open. Sunlight streams into the TARDIS along with the delighted shrieks of other children and a warm wind that can only mean summer. Steve blinks, staring at the playground a few feet away.

"Oh," his father says, his tone duller than before, "seems boring."

This statement is followed by both the TARDIS making an offended noise and Steve's mother smacking his father in the chest. "Don't be rude! Boring is safe, which is good for Steve's first drive."

"Can...can I go play?" Steve asks, his voice soft as he feels a sudden longing sweeping through him. He hasn't played with people his age after leaving Gallifrey. In fact, he hasn't been around them. On Satellite Five, Steve didn't see other children. They were cared for on a different floor, and he never risked getting into the elevator.

Since leaving Satellite Five (since finding another Time Lord and basking in the TARDIS and crying together when Steve accidentally called the Doctor "Dad" and Rose "Mom"), Steve has been surrounded by Daleks and nanogenes and older humans and every alien under the sun, but he's never been around children.

The thought is exhilarating and terrifying and alluring all at once.

"Of course, Steve," his mother says, placing her hand on his head and brushing a few stray hairs from his face. "You go play, and we'll call you back in a few hours for some ice cream, yeah?"

Steve grins and nods eagerly, throwing a quick goodbye to his parents before running out of the TARDIS. He dashes across the street, coming to the edge of the playground before stopping. The grass turns into tiny rocks and pebbles beneath slides and swings and monkey bars and a merry-go-round. And kids. More kids than Steve really knows what to do with, which gives him an unfamiliar feeling of anxiety that makes him wipe his palms on his shirt.

"Hey, why are you just standing there?"

The question is asked by another boy Steve's age. His hair is a little frizzy and curls around his ears, and he's got band-aids covering his arms and stretching across the bridge of his nose. He's standing to Steve's left, holding a red rubber ball and ignoring the other kids around them.

"I've...never been here before," Steve says, meaning that he's never been in this situation.

The boy doesn't understand that, though. But when he says, "Oh, so you're new around here," Steve doesn't disagree. "Well, nice to meetcha. I'm Eddie."

He shifts to hold the ball against his chest with one arm and holds out his other hand. Taking it and shaking once, Steve introduces himself and asks, "Can we be friends?"

Eddie's eyes brighten, and he nods. "Yeah! Let's be bestest friends. Can I call you Stevie? Mom says you can give nicknames to friends."

"Sure! So, uh, what do we do now?"

Eddie pauses, looking at the playground with a slight frown. "We could play games," he says slowly.

"Oh! How about Weeping Angel?"

"What's that?"

Steve thinks for a moment. "Weeping Angels are these statues that move when you don't look at them. In the game, someone will face away, and the other person will start sneaking up on them. If the first person turns, the second has to freeze in place. If the first person sees them move, they lose. If the second person reaches the first and touches them, they win."

"It sounds like Rad Light, Green Light," Eddie says, tilting his head slightly. "But, sure! Let's play it."

Steve smiles brightly and follows Eddie to a clear patch of playground. "I'll be the Angel in this round," he offers, waiting for Eddie to agree before walking a few feet away. "Let me know when you're ready!"

Eddie turns around, still holding the rubber ball, and glances over his shoulder. He stares at Steve for a few seconds before looking away and saying, "Ready!"

As lightly as he can, Steve takes a few steps forward, doing his best to make no sounds like the Weeping Angels he's seen before. When he notices Eddie moving, he freezes, quickly placing his hands over his eyes but leaving enough room to peek between his fingers.

When Eddie turns, he's frozen in a classic Weeping Angel pose. Eddie studies him for a few seconds, eyes narrowed before slowly turning around again. Steve exhales softly, and the game continues.

Steve wins exactly three times, Eddie wins twice, and there's one round in which they both dissolve into laughter because of the position Steve freezes in, so they don't count it. When Eddie gets bored of playing, he introduces Steve to foursquare, which is why he has the rubber ball. When he gets bored of that he drags Steve around the playground, introducing him to each piece of equipment with pride.

By the time the sun has started to dip low on the horizon, Steve is sweaty and dirty and happier than he's ever felt as he hides under the slide with Eddie. They're pressed close together, sharing a popsicle Eddie's mother had given them, purple juice making their hands sticky.

"You're really cool, Stevie," Eddie suddenly says, his lips and tongue purple as he offers the last bit of popsicle to Steve.

After taking it and letting the cold ice melt on his tongue, Steve asks, "Hey, do bestest friends keep secrets that only they know?"

"Of course! Nothing is stronger than a bestest friend secret."

"But you gotta promise not to tell anyone. Not even your mom."

Eddie seems to realize this is serious now, and he straightens up a bit. "I won't," he promises, "cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."

That seems a bit extreme to Steve, but what does he know of human customs? He leans in close, his mouth almost pressing against Eddie's ear, and whispers, "I'm an alien."

He pulls away in time to see Eddie's disbelieving look. "What? You look human. No way you're an alien."

"I am!" Steve says. "How many hearts have you got?"

"One. Duh."

"I've got two."

Eddie snorts. "Yeah. Right. Nobody has two hearts."

"Here, you can feel them," Steve says before grabbing Eddie's hand and placing it over the left side of his chest. He waits a few seconds, making sure Eddie can feel that heart, before sliding his hand to the right side. He watches Eddie's face turn bright red, and Steve figures it's from excitement or shock at realizing Steve is, in fact, an alien.

Before Eddie can say anything, Steve hears his mother calling, "Steve! It's time to go!"

He pouts, letting go of Eddie's hand. "Aw, man," he mumbles, crawling out from beneath the slide. Eddie scrambles after him, his cheeks still flushed and his eyes wide. "I gotta go now, but I'll see you again soon, Eddie."

"Yeah, soon," Eddie mumbles, seeming dazed until he shakes his head. "Your, um, secret is safe with me, Stevie."

Steve blinks and flashes a blinding smile. "Of course it is," he says, "You're my bestest friend."

With that, he hugs Eddie and then runs to his mother, brimming with excitement at getting to tell her all about the park and Eddie.

------

If you'd like to be tagged for this series, let me know!

And, finally, a meme for your viewing pleasure:

[forjongseong]

first // heeseung (ENHYPEN)

pairing: heeseung x fem!reader (established relationship)

genre: slight angst(?), fluff in the end// warning: tw--self-hate, couple's fight // wc: ~1.3k

summary: after your very first big fight with your boyfriend, you decide to sit alone and gather your thoughts.

author’s note: I came across a TikTok video one day where it was just a duet of people acting out a couple's fight... the words HURT so I somehow came up with this one shot. Heeseung's ability to keep things to himself is one of the things I admire, but also dislike, about him. Anyway, hope you like this one! Reblogs and replies are MUCH appreciated and please do stop by my ask once in a while. My masterlist will be constantly updated too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was almost midnight and Y/N’s plan was to sleep early. Instead, she’s in the living room, trying to keep her voice down so that the neighbours won’t notice the fight going on.

“I’m not doing this,” said Y/N as she turned around, tears threatening to fall down her face.

“I said I’m sorry, okay? Now will you just talk to me?” Heeseung was half shouting from the kitchen.

Y/N scoffed. “No. You don’t get to come back here after two weeks of completely ignoring me and then expect me to give you some kind of answer.”

Heeseung made a fist as he leaned on the counter, head facing down.

“I was struggling, and you made me hate you.”

Heeseung’s choice of words made Y/N froze for a second.

“I made you hate me?” She recited back the sentence in a whisper.

“You wouldn’t leave me alone and I just wanted to be left alone,” said Heeseung. This time his eyes met Y/N’s, and she realized that he too had been holding back tears.

“You never told me any of that,” Y/N replied.

“I know.”

“Well, now I want to be left alone.”

Y/N grabbed her bag and walked towards the door. Heeseung just stood there at the kitchen in a house that was not his.

---

Cheonggyecheon was the only place that Y/N frequented when it comes to going out for air. Her favourite spot was rarely crowded which made it easy for her to cry in public. There weren’t that many people who would walk down the stream, especially this late, but Y/N noticed a group of guys as well as students walking pass her.

“I thought it was you.”

Y/N almost jumped when she felt someone sit next to her.

“Sunghoon. My God you scared me.”

Sunghoon chuckled as he ruffled his hair. He then waved back to the group of friends he just left.

“I noticed your jacket from a mile away,” Sunghoon proudly gave Y/N a pat on her shoulders. “It’s a great look.”

“Yes, thank you for giving it to me,” Y/N replied, giving Sunghoon the answer that he wants.

After a good stretch and a dad-like yawn, Sunghoon looked up to the sky. “So what’s wrong?”

Y/N tilted her head. “What do you mean what’s wrong?”

Sunghoon cleared his throat. “Well, A. you’re here alone, and B. earlier at noon Heeseung told me he was going to spend the night at your place.”

“Oh,” Y/N smiled weakly. “So he tells you stuff, huh? I thought he never shares.”

Sunghoon frowned. “Is that what this is?”

Y/N shook her head. “I’d rather not talk about it, really.”

They sat there in silence for a while. Sunghoon hadn’t known Y/N for long, but when they were introduced to each other, he took an immediate liking to her because of their similar personalities. Y/N was like the older sister he never had.

“Heeseung is a really private person, you know that already,” said Sunghoon, finally breaking the silence.

Y/N nodded. “I do.”

“Did you know that Jake is an even more private person? I mean, he doesn’t tell his struggles to anybody. And I mean anybody. Not even his parents. Not even us.”

Y/N chuckled. “Now why are you bringing up Jake?”

Sunghoon sighed. “I’m just saying. There are people who aren’t like us. They prefer to keep things to themselves. They don’t want to be a burden to other people. They make great listeners, but when it comes to their own problems, they really won’t tell. And that’s okay.”

“I just…” Y/N tried not to get riled up. “The fact that he doesn’t tell me things makes me question our relationship. I don’t want to be the only person needing support. I want him to share his burdens. Even if I can’t help him solve his problems, I want him to know I’m there.”

Sunghoon nodded as he put both his hands into his jacket pocket. “That’s really sweet. Have you told him that?”

Y/N fell silent. Sunghoon smiled.

“Does it seem cringey if you tell it to his face?” asked Sunghoon. Y/N nodded.

“I feel like he would find a way to make it not sweet,” Y/N stared at the running water in front of them while Sunghoon pulled out his phone, quickly typed on it, and then put it back in his pockets.

“Should you really be here?” asked Y/N, realizing only now that he really ditched his friends to sit with her.

Sunghoon shrugged. “They were going to go for a third round of drinks and I have an early schedule tomorrow. We all do.”

“When is your next free day?” asked Y/N, knowing that he and Heeseung would have the exact same schedule.

After frowning and calculating in his head, Sunghoon sighed. “Not in another three weeks, I think.”

Which means another three weeks of absence, Y/N thought to herself.

The two of them decided to talk about things other than work. Sunghoon realized Y/N needed the distraction, and Y/N was just happy that she had a listener who was not Heeseung.

That was until Sunghoon abruptly stood up as he looked at the figure walking up to them.

“Alright,” said Sunghoon as he approached Heeseung. “I’ll leave her to you,” Sunghoon gave Heeseung a pat on his shoulder.

Y/N’s smile instantly faded, and that made Heeseung feel like trash.

“Thanks, Sunghoon,” said Y/N, half-shouting to Sunghoon who was already getting farther. Sunghoon replied with a huge wave.

Heeseung was unsure if she said thank you to Sunghoon for texting him, or for the hour-long chat they just had by the stream. He’d like to think it was for both.

“It’s getting late,” said Heeseung as he stood beside Y/N who was refusing to look at him.

“No shit,” Y/N looked away. She was already feeling better because of Sunghoon, but Heeseung just had to show up.

“Sunghoon texted me.”

“Okay.”

“Look, Y/N,” Heeseung walked over to where Y/N was looking and sat in front of her. “I’m really sorry.”

“You should stop saying that. The word means nothing in your mouth.”

“Forgive me. Please.”

Y/N had to bite her lip to stop it from quivering. She was lucky the air was cold, otherwise Heeseung would think she was definitely trying her best not to cry.

“I don’t have anything left to say to defend myself. I was wrong. You always reach out to me even when I don’t reply, and I should have responded better.”

Hearing an apology was not what Y/N wanted exactly, so she just stared back at Heeseung.

“Okay,” she said. “Thank you for the apology.”

Heeseung blinked, and that made a tear run down his cheek. His hand quickly shot up to wipe it away.

“I’m sorry too,” Y/N looked away. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to talk.”

“I’ll make an effort.”

“Don’t give me promises.”

“I’m not promising.”

“Then what are we doing here?” asked Y/N. She sniffled and after that Heeseung took both of her hands and brought them to his lips.

“I won’t say anything more. I’ll show you. If you’d give me a chance,” Heeseung’s breath felt hot on Y/N’s freezing hands.

Y/N leaned in for a hug and Heeseung embraced her tightly, inhaling the scent of her hair. And with that, Y/N started bawling.

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry,” said Heeseung as he realized his actions did the complete opposite of comforting.

Y/N shook her head and sobbed into Heeseung’s chest. Heeseung tried his best to comfort her by rubbing her back and stroking her hair. He even tried singing in her ear. The last effort made her stop crying.

“Are you… seriously singing?” asked Y/N in between sniffles.

“I don’t know what else to do,” said Heeseung, clueless. “Should we go back home?”

Y/N pulled back and nodded. Her eyes were all wet and her nose red. Heeseung laughed a little at the sight.

“You’ve been out in the cold for too long,” Heeseung said as he cupped Y/N’s face. “Let me help get your temperature back up.”

Heeseung leaned in for a kiss, and Y/N felt butterflies in her stomach just like the first time. As she felt his hand on her neck and her fingers grazing his hair, the two of them knew for a fact that they’d be alright.

-END-

© forjongseong 2022, all rights reserved

[m0chaminx]

Gar Logan | Thank You

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 : mentions of death, swearing, sheer cuteness

titans season 3 episode one spoilers

Paring : Gar x F!Todd!reader

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 : Your brother, Jason is killed, and Gar is the only one who can comfort you

940 words

,Y/N coughed at the gross taste of Gar's vegan coffee that sourly hit her tongue. "So, what do you think?" Gar asked a small amused smile already trying to make its way onto his face. Y/N looked at him slightly disgusted and slid the coffee back to him.

"That is the grossest thing I've ever tasted," Y/N complained making Gar burst into laughter. Conner looked between them both and slid Y/N his glass of water. "Thanks, Con."

"Kids-"

"Jesus!" Y/N jumped upon Kory disturbing them.

"Hey Kory," Gar greeted with a smile, but it dropped sensing something was up. "Did something happen?" Conner took a seat next to the kids watching Kory stand there in uncomfortable silence.

"Jason's dead," Kory stated making Y/N's heart drop into her stomach. "Dick got the call yesterday, he said Jason he went after the Joker, alone." Gar looked over at Y/N who sat there still as a stone.

"So the Joker just killed him?" Gar questioned, he tried not to be so blunt but it was difficult not to.

Kory hummed swaying on her legs slightly, " Sound like Jason went after him the same way he went after Deathstroke. Alone and unprepared." Kory shook her head clenching her jaw. "I'm so angry."

"At the Joker?" Conner asked.

"No. At Jason," Kory rephrased making Y/N snap her head up to glare at Kory.

"Jason? Why?" Gar asked in an aggravated tone.

"Because he never learned. When Jason left the Titans to go to Gotham he was alone and angry, and I get that but..."

"But what?" Y/N asked.

"Dick hoped he'd figure things out with Bruce, but he never did," Kory spoke aggravated. "He clearly just kept making the same mistakes, over and over, and it finally got him killed."

"Oh like you lot are so great?" Y/N snapped.

"Excuse me?"

"Dick can go on solo missions, you can go to the city and do god knows what, but the second someone does something you don't even remotely agree with, suddenly they're so horrible."

"Y/N-"

"No Gar it's not fair!" Y/N yelled standing up. "All Jay wanted to do was show you he was worth it and you treated him like shit! Hell, he nearly killed himself 'cause you guys fucked him over! Screw you, screw all of you." Y/N stamped off her hands shoved in her jacket pockets and the slam of her door echoed throughout the building.

"She's got that Todd anger," Kory seethed.

-*-*-*-*-*-

The moon was finally high in the sky and Y/N tossed her headphones off and rubbed her face with her hands. She really didn't mean to snap like that, but the way the titans, especially Kory and Dick, talked about Jason just pissed you off, and she really didn't mean to yell at Gar. cutting her losses Y/N tossed her jumper on before walking to Gar's room.

Y/N knocked lightly on his door but not loud enough and Y/N could hear him mumbling to himself through the door. She knocked again this time calling his name. "Gar, can I talk to you?"

Y/N could hear him shriek and drop something and curse a few times before he finally swung his door open, "Hey Y/N/N."

"Hey Gar, I um wanted to say sorry, for snapping earlier."

"No, no, you don't have to apologize. Jason he, I mean Jason-"

"Don't say it, because that makes it real, and I don't want it to be real," Y/N said stopping Gar's sentence.

"You know you can't keep ignoring it," Gar said softly.

"I can try," Y/N said with a light chuckle. Gar shook his head and pulled her into his room and made her sit on his bed.

"Y'know if you talk about it, it'll be easier later on," Gar said trying to make Y/N talk. When Y/N simply shook her head Gar sighed and sat next to Y/N letting her lean her head on his shoulder. "You can cry if you want, or scream, you could even punch my pillow if you'd like." Y/N nodded and held onto Gars hand that he grazed over hers.

"Can you just talk please?" Y/N asked and Gar nodded.

The two talked for almost an hour, it was more Gar made silly jokes making Y/N giggle softly at him. "You know when we went up against Trigon, I turned into a snake. What do you think I should turn into next? I think something that can fly," Gar spoke softly.

"What about a bat? Bats are cute," Y/N said softly, her breath fanning across Gar's neck.

"You think bats are cute?" Gar asked softly running his hands through her hair. Y/N nodded relaxing more against Gars body. "Are you tired?" Y/N nodded and Gar chuckled softly. "It's official I can bore you into sleep."

Y/N laughed and moved to sit up properly, her eyes threatening to shut, "Can I um- Can I stay with you tonight?" Y/N asked softly, wanting to fall back against Gar and fall asleep.

"Yeah- yeah totally," Gar said nodding scurrying down to pull the blankets up. "Uh, do you-?"

"Do you want to lay with me?" Y/N interrupted, hoping he'd say yes. Gar nodded moving the blankets so they could lay next to each other. Y/N moved closer so she could lean on Gars chest and Gar let his arms wrap around her. "Thank you."

"For what?" Gar asked confused, going back to play with her hair again.

"For letting me stay with you," Y/N said simply closing her eyes and practically melding into Gar's side.

"Your welcome, I guess," Gar said with a soft laugh holding tight onto her.

Request : Masterlist

[vaseshippingformywholelive]

When the rain falls..

Warnings:

angst, sad, dark themes, suicide mentioning, death mentioning, tiny bit smut/nsfw (just 2-lines), depression?, panic attack?, soulmate au, mana is reborn, timeline-parallels, vaseshipping, this is all MY AU & it's far from canon!

(I woke up & choose angst! I cried while writing this! Please enjoy~ ♡ )

(Also: Please DON'T repost/use/ reupload this without asking me first!! It's mine, not yours!! )

~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~

[[ Modern- Au]]

~💜~🖤~💜~🖤~

"I feel like I'm missing something...",

the girl whispered to herself, sitting on the window from her house. The former magican looked outside, closing her eyes as the raindrops fell from the grey sky. She was listening closely to the sounds of the falling water hitting the ground.

A sigh left mana. Somehow she felt nostalgic, almost sad. The moment the girl opened her eyes, a single tear ran down her cheek. But mana didn't really understand her feelings towards the rain. Just that the same feeling happening over & over again. The former magican couldn't remember when it started or why it started. 'Maybe some trauma??', she thought.

Her thoughts were cut off by the ringing of her door. Mana jumped up, running towards the door,

"I'M COMING~!",

the girl yelled while running down the stairs, opening the door. A big smile formed on her face as she saw 'HIM' standing infront of her. Holding an umbrella over his head and a bag with snack & drinks in the other. The guitar-bag hanging over his shoulder, with the black leader jacket he was wearing, it suited him so well. He looked like the perfect boyfriend-material--

Quickly shaking her head the girl stepped a bit to the side,

"Hello atem~ Come in!! I hope you didn't get to wet because of sudden rain?",

the former magican smiled at the boy infront of her. Gently taking his umbrella from him, closing the door once he was inside. Mana couldn't explain this feeling but the sadness was gone now, everytime atem was around she felt pure happiness, saftey and just so complete.

"Mana?.. Did you cry?",

atem's worried voice made her look up. She didn't even notice the tear that had escaped her eye earlier. Just as atem's hand gently touched her cheek and wiped it away, the girl noticed what he meant. A blush covered her face as she looked up at the boy. His eyes were full of worry, but also something else. 'Was that.. guilt? But why?.. It's not like he did something bad?' , the former magican thought confused.

Mana smiled at atem and took his hand in her's as she answered,

"Don't worry, it's nothing serious! I just have some weird connection with the rain since I can think. I always cry when it rains, somehow I feel sad. I also always forget my umbrella when I go out! But no one knows why, not even the doctor could help the situation. So don't worry okay? It's normal!",

mana softly pressed against his hand and intertwined their fingers,

"I would rather hear the new song you told me about. Is that okay?~",

a giggle left her mouth as she walked him towards her livingroom, ignoring the thunder & lighting outside. The rain seemed to get worse but all mana could hear was atem's beautiful voice.

[[ Ancient AU ]]

[[ Timeline without Atem ]]

~💜~🖤~💜~🖤~

The sky was dark. The air was cold. The rain was strong and didn't seem to stop anytime soon. If someone wouldn't know any better they would think this was a ghost-town. Yet a girl walked through the empty streets, calmly as if the rain doesn't even exist to her. The cold, dark weather didn't seem to bother her either. She seemed far away, lost. But yet the people of the town admired her, called her a "fairy" or a "blessing of the gods".

To herself mana was no such thing. Mana hated herself more than anyone ever could. She couldn't even protect those close to her. Now everyone she once loved was gone. How many months ago was it? Or had it already been years??

Looking down in a puddle, the magican saw herself in it. Ahh, true she was all grown-up now. She looked way older than she remembered. So it must've been years already, right?? Mana sighed, jumping in the puddle as she bit her lip, 'Who even cares?? Time is useless anyway!!' , the girl yelled on the inside.

Continueing the walk through the rain the girl lost any sense of thought, any sort of meaning. Just walking, walking, walking on. A loud thunder made mana look up. Looking around, her mouth opened but no sound came out. She was in shock. Silence. Just the rain and the thunder was heard. Infront of the magican were a bunch of old ruins. Some of them visible, some of them hidden by the sand. 'Time is really moving on fast huh?' , the magican let out a deep breath.

Some of the ruins looked odly familiar to mana. She wondered why. Was she here before?? Looking around herself. Sand, sand, more sand, sa- no wait!! These things hidden in the sand.. Here was once a town??? But now nothing of it was left.. But why does this all seem odly familiar to the girl??

"Maybe I'm really going crazy huh??",

mana grumbled, shaking her head while walking through the ruins. She came to an sudden stop, 'Wow!! How was that possible??'. Before her was a garden. In between the bunch of old ruins was a beautiful, still fresh garden! It looked like it was well taken care of. 'But how?? Did someone use magic??' , this caught mana's interest! Which was a very hard thing to do now-days!

Continueing to look around in the garden, the girl didn't find anything. But mana made herself a note to come back here on a day when the weather was better. This needs more research! It could be dangerous or of great use!! While moving on, walking towards the next ruin, it all of sudden got dark behind her. Quickly mana turned around, ready to fight. 'What??' , the garden had turned dark, it looked dirty, completly the opposite from before. The magican didn't believe her eyes.

"So IT is me just losing my mind.. well good to know",

the magican grabbed her head, while walking outside in the rain again. The weather was still the same. Yet mana still didn't understand the feeling of knowing this all. Even if she did find out, would it even matter?? It wouldn't change anything! It wouldn't bring 'HIM' back! It couldn't bring the person back she loved most!

Lost in thoughts mana stumbled over something on the floor, she fell face first in the wet, dirty sand.

"Eww..", the magican grumbled, slowly sitting up, rubbing the dirt off her face, the girl looked back to see what she had fallen over. 'This stupid thing..' ,

In a heartbeat she could feel her heart tighten up. Her breath got stuck, knot building in her throat. Eyes widened with every passing second. Her hands started to shake, one slowly reaching out. She could feel her stomatch hurting as the memorys rained down on her,

" What brings you here today mana?~"

" Did you sneak in through my balcony again?~"

"How is your magic trainging going?~"

" Thank you for your support mana! It means much to me~"

" Are you hiding here from mahad again?~"

" You did amazing mana! I'm so proud of you!"

" You're as beautiful as the stars! Mana.. you truly mean much to me~"

" My cape is way to big for you.. but I guess you look adorable?"

" Well done mana! Soon you could even beat me haha~"

" It may seem childish to you! But mana is the one & only that I adore and love! I want her by my side for now and forever!~"

" Are you nervous? I thought you loved me?~"

"You don't know what you do to me, kitten~"

"Please, be mine?~"

"Mana, will you give yourself to me? For now & forever? May our souls & our hearts always find each other!"

" You look so beautiful in the morning sun mana~"

"I will never leave you mana! Take this necklace as a promise!"

" Even if there are moments we can not be together, you'll shine like gold in my memorys!~"

"Mana.. I do really love you~"

" Wait for me! I'll be back!! My beloved mana!~"

Tears ran down mana's face, looking at the hidden throne under the sand. The throne that had belonged to 'HIM'. A loud cry escaped mana. Now she remembered why this place seemed so familiar. 30 years ago this place was once her home. Her childhood. But now.. everything was gone, destroyed, washed away by the rain.

The girl picked herself up, her legs shaking, her sight blurry by the still overflowing tears. She started to run, running away from the memorys, from the painful past. Now the magican remembered why she moved away, why she tried to forget it all. How often had she nightmares?? How often did she break down?? How often did she try to end her live by herself? End it all!! But mana couldn't...

'What if 'HE' came back? What if 'HE' is still alive?' , small pieces of hope sometimes crossed her mind.

So the magican continued to walk through the rain, continued to help the people of the town, continued to use magic. But yet, the sadness, the emptiness never disappeared. The smile never appeared on her face ever again.

Mana didn't even notice that as soon as she came back to the magical-garden it started to bloom again. Thanks to her the garden was fresh again. Thanks to her the past was still alive. Neither did the ancient-mana know that both, her & atem hadn't giving up yet and would meet once again, in the future!

~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~🖤~

(I hope you enjoyed~ ♡ )

[alreadyblondenow]

I loved you first, but you’re not the last

“....You’re special so it requires extra effort. Happy Valentines and happy first day of being a couple,”

Pairing: Mark Lee x female!reader

Genre: Angst, SMUT, fluff, childhood best friends to lovers

WC: 4,588k

Warnings: Fake dating, break up,swearing, mentions or other idol, reader x Taeyong in the end, Taeyong as Mark’s brother, unprotected sex, virginity loss, a lot of making out, mentions of making out, touching, a small amount of dirty talking, oral sex (female receiving), overstimulation

A/N: NOT PROOFREAD. I’ll fix it once I get my internet connection back. Gosh I hope this posts. Part of Request Party

It was in the middle of the night when you received a call that did not just woke you up, but also woke your whole being. Body, mind and soul.

“You’re back?” crankily you sat up from bed, scratching your heavy eyes and about to get out of bed because the person on the other line is right outside your house, waiting for you.

He has been away and gone for too long because of college... and you should be excited as you go downstairs to meet him, but you know why he’s here and it’s no good news. Let’s face it, this night will not end nice.

“Here goes nothing,” you murmured. Wrapping yourself with your thick jacket before you finally step outside.

And the moment you opened the door, snow was falling and you didn’t miss how the snow landed peacefully on Mark’s eyelashes. Eyes looking straight to you, those sad eyes that can’t hide the pain that he’s holding. A pain that you caused.

You wanted to finally reunite first with a hug, but he got ahead of you and took your chance to show him how much you missed him.

“How could you?” he started, eyes still locked on yours. “I thought we were going to wait and do it right- how could you date my brother while I was away?”

Even you find it cruel. What you did to Mark was cruel, selfish, and unforgivable. And truth be told, you don’t have the right words now. You wanted to explain of course, but you’re scared it might break him even more. “I love your brother,” you said softly. Not even brave enough to look him in the eye because you feel bad.

“You loved me first,” he bite back. And you can’t help but be weak in front of him and cry. Usually whenever you cry, he will walk towards you and remind you how much you mean to him. But you guess not tonight, maybe you don’t deserve love tonight.

“You left me, remember?” you dried your tears and tried being brave even just for a short period. Just until you have the guts to walk away.

“Whatever. It’s not yet too late. Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy,”

He finally said his true purpose tonight. This was his last chance and the only to win you back. But even though he has never been more honest in his whole life except tonight, he feels like not even telling you his feelings can bring you back to him. Mark was so frustrated that he has tears in his eyes already that you wanted to dry so bad. But if you really want him to respect the relationship you have with his brother, then this is the perfect time.

“I may have loved you first, but your brother is the last man I’ll love. I’m sorry Mark,”

And just as you finish saying those hurtful words, you finally have the bravery to turn your back on him and ignore his shouting that you’re sure your parents and neighbors heard. This is you throwing a decade of good friendship because of unrequited love.

FOUR YEARS AGO

The day before Valentines day, you don’t know what’s up with your mood or with you in general, because you’ve been so envy with the people around you, couples to be exact. As you admire happy couples in school who celebrates Valentines as early as now, you can’t help but to imagine someone.... someone that will give you flowers, chocolates... kisses, or whatever you’ll accept in whole heartedly.

Valentines is like Christmas, it’s a day of giving and receiving. But that only applies if you have someone special whom you can spend the day with and exchange shiny, glittery, and sparkling Valentine cards with.

“I can be your fake boyfriend, come on it will be fun,” he raises his seagull eyebrows and smirked. Come to think of it, it’s not a bad idea. You’ve been best friends even before kindergarten, you watch each other grow and went through puberty together until the next thing you know, you’re printing college applications together in your room because his printer broke down.

“Let’s not go to college without having the experience of high school love... you know, let’s have fun before we graduate with flying colors. Let’s go to parties, participate in Valentine-gram tomorrow, go to prom together. What do you say?” he added.

“But everything’s fake? What’s the point of fake dating if we already look like were dating ever since we started being friends?” You whine and flop on your bed, Mark did the same thing.

“Don’t think about it too much, just say yes,” for a moment you both just stared at the ceiling, wondering what could go wrong if you started fake dating. “Anyway, you don’t have a choice. I need to get home and answer these- Bye, you’re my girlfriend now!”

“W-what? Mark-“

And just before you could reason out with him, he’s gone with his college applications and you’re left with your thoughts and excitement. You don’t know why but Mark’s crazy idea made your heart jump, it’s like a good electricity that made you look for your art materials and spend the whole evening making your fake boyfriend a blue shiny, glittery, and sparkling Valentine card.

Even if the motive was fake, the effort was real and it felt good and right at that very moment.

But little did you know that his idea of fake dating was only his way to not shock you when he finally confess his feelings to you.

That’s right, your best friend is in love with you.

If she wears blue tomorrow I will confess to her. He tells himself as he stares in his ceiling, feeling the same excitement and electricity in his heart. Trying so hard to sleep but he kept on thinking about you and can’t help but feel the excitement for tomorrow again.

“You and Y/n started dating? Since when?” Mark’s mother exclaimed happily while driving. Looking at his son admire the roses he got you from the flower shop downtown.

“We’re just starting mom. Thanks for helping me pick these up by the way,”

“Oh there she is! Wearing blue! Oh I never realized how you two grew such good looking kids until now,”

Mark breathed in and let it out with a smile, thankful that you wore his favorite color, because he can’t continue to hide his feelings for you. Maybe you and him are really bound to happen.

As you wave goodbye to Mrs. Lee with a bright smile, there you see Mark carrying a unique bouquet of roses and your eyes immediately went big and sparkled because. Not to mention your heart beats so hard and fast because he looked so handsome even in his casual clothes.

“Wow- I’m speechless, these are beautiful. Where did you get these?” you accept the bouquet as he hands it to you with a smile. Engraving the look of your face in his mind and heart, swearing to himself that from now on he will make you happy like this everyday.

“It’s a secret. You’re special so it requires extra effort. Happy Valentines and happy first day of being a couple,” he said and planted a kiss on your forehead. Something so natural for you and him, but today is different. Nonetheless, you believe that today will be a beautiful and eventful day.

In the see of people wearing red and white in your school’s hallway, you and Mark are happy wearing blue. Such a sad color but you wearing it makes him the happiest guy today. Everywhere you look has a dash of red and pink, hearts are hanged here and there and almost everyone has red roses on their hand... except you.

Because you’re holding a bouquet of rainbow roses.

This year’s Valentines wasn’t like any other Valentine’s you usually have. Today you have Mark.

You have Mark to hold your hand while you walk on the school’s hallway. You have Mark to look at you so lovingly that your heart melts whenever you catch him looking. You have Mark to take you out on a date after school and take cute photos in a photo booth. You have Mark to share a big drink with two straws.

And most especially, you have Mark to kiss you under the dark sky full of stars in front of your house.

His lips were soft as expected. And the way his tongue swipes on your lip in the most subtle way just makes you want him to kiss more. He smiled in between kissing when you pulled him closer and kiss him more when he was about to pull away. And oh! You did not miss the way he softly moans, such music to your ears but sad to say you can only hear them tonight.

“Did you liked my Valentine card? I left it in your locker,”

You finally pulled away and surprised him. Wiping away the spit from your mouth, you wiped Mark’s as well. He only smiled to you and you wish he would stop doing it because you’re growing a little crush on him already.

“It’s full of glitters, it’s blue and it has watermelons. Of course I love it” he said then did it again, melted your heart with that damn handsome smile.

“Good,” you said softly, fixing his hoodie and finally giving him a bear hug that he deserves. “I don’t want this night to end,” you finally admitted it.

“Then let’s not end it,”

“Wait, you’re not faking anymore aren’t you-“

And just like that Mark cut you off with a deep kiss. Nothing like how he kissed you earlier. This time he was holding you tight that you’re almost out if breath and you feel like he’s about to crush you anytime. But the way he kissed you... it’s his way of confessing his love to you.

On the following days, everything changed between you and Mark. Though it’s clear that what you feel for him is only just a crush now and he knows it, still the guy is hopeful that you will love him like how he loves you.

Mark is the perfect definition of consistent. He showed you how he feels for you each day, and each day he became better than the day before, sweeter and bolder. He was putting everything on the line for you, showering you the love he has always kept in him. That’s why, in a matter of months you finally made it official with him and you can’t wait what the future has in store for the both of you.

“What do you love about me?” you asked out of nowhere while he was in the middle of playing his guitar. It wasn’t a hard question, but it made him stop and think for a second.

“I love how you give me constant reasons to love you even more each day,” the first line was enough, but Mark has more to say. “The way you kiss my cheek in the most friendly way but it always meant something to me, how you accepted me to be your friend and now boyfriend. I love how you love me, because being loved back by you is something so special that only us can understand”

What he said moved you of course. You didn’t know that he loves you deeply even before you started the fake dating thing. And knowing that Mark is just crazy and madly in love with you, you can’t help but wish that you are too. For now all you can do is accept his love, and give back however you can. You love him of course, but you can’t keep up with his love yet.

Days passed by and your relationship grew sweeter. More sweet words were exchanged and more kisses were given. Way more. Until you find yourselves making out whenever you two are alone.

“Aw!” you express your pain when Mark accidentally bit your lip. Something so sexy but it hurt and it made you both stop what you’re doing.

“Oops. Sorry, I got carried away” he says and took a look at your lips. “You’re fine right?”

“Mhmm” You answered, but just before he was about to start kissing you again, you stopped him by pulling away. “And it’s getting late, I think you should go home,”

“But I want to stay for more,” he said with a sly smile. Caressing your shoulders and soothing your back. If course you did not miss what he was talking about for more. You and Mark are young, and being new to this relationship thing just makes you both want to explore and feed each other’s curiosity.

“When I’m ready. I promise it will be worth the wait, for now it’s getting late and you need to go home... And work with some homework,” you gave him a final kiss and thankfully he did not pry.

The relationship you have with Mark was nothing like the friendship you used to have. The friendship was still there, of course, but friends don’t kiss your neck while you’re busy reading a book or slam you to the nearest wall and kiss you wildly. Friends don’t taste your favorite ice cream flavor through your tongue in the middle of a Netflix movie, and friends don’t get affected when they see you in your thin shirt and panties only whenever they give you a surprise visit.

“It’s the weekend, why are you here?” You whine as you try to go back to sleep. Clinging to your pillow and thick blanket but your boyfriend is currently losing his mind. Nonetheless, he remained a gentleman and covered your exposed leg and butt, covering you completely and keeping you warm. “Come to bed with me. Cuddle with me instead”

The young man’s eyes brightened and quickly joined you in bed. Swinging his arm around your waist from behind and nuzzling your neck to tickle you.

“I got into my dream college,” he whispered excitedly beside your ears which made you quickly turn to him and hug him.

“That’s why you’re here! Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realized” you planted kisses on his cheek the ones he loved receiving other than your slow and deep ones. “You used to talk about this ever since we were just kids. Ugh, I’m so proud of you”

“Promise to support me no matter what?” This time it’s him who went closer and planted kisses on your face. Of course you said yes, it has been his dream, but now that you knew you’ll miss him everyday and you know that the image of him walking away from you at the airport will truly hurt you, so you can’t help but fake it.

You rolled on top of him and his eyes immediately went big, wondering why and how are you like this. You have never been this bold and confident even in your wildest times, it’s like he’s seeing a totally different side of you and he loves it.

“Want to claim your early graduation gift?” you completely surprised him and started kissing his neck, while Mark is actually enjoying the moment by caressing your ass cheeks and teasing you by tugging your panties. You wish you have the same level of confidence with Mark, because you well know that between the two of you he is the one experienced with sexual activities, so now you try your best.

“Mmm” a loud pop surrounds your room as Mark sucks your nipples through your thin shirt. Taking turns with your left boob and right boob until your shirt is partly wet because of him and he can finally see your nipples. The sight of it gave him the feeling like no other. Of course this is not his first time seeing boobs, but this is different because it’s you.

The mere sight of your boobs just made him lose his mind and not to mention hard in no time. You watch him roll his head back while you slowly grind of top of him with a ruined shirt, looking so hot than ever so he quickly switched places with you. Putting you underneath him, looking down on you with hungry and lustful eyes.

“Do you wanna touch my boobs?” You asked him so innocently,reaching for his hand that’s placed on your waist. You put your hand and his hand inside your shirt, slowly lifting the wet shirt just above your chest to expose your boobs to him.

“I wish you were my first,” he said and immediately kissing your right boob while his hand kneads the other, pinching you or teasing you, or whatever he just wanted to hear something from you. And when he stopped making your nipples swollen, Mark just kept on kissing you softly and saying ‘i love yous’ over and over again. making you smile through his lips and soft touches, it is as if he’s taking away all your shyness and making you comfortable with the situation. The situation where your boobs are expose to him, your legs spread wide and Mark is in between your legs, grinding his clothed cock on your ruined and wet panties.

You were just kissing passionately but now you felt his hands hooked on your panties and the next thing you know he’s pulling it down without breaking the kiss until it reaches your thigh and eventually remove it but the shyness crept in again, making you close your legs and bite your lips in hesitation.

“Can I? Open your legs?” He asks, kissing your neck and calming you through the way he kisses you and touch you. And when he felt that you’re ready, he tried opening your legs again and this time you let him. Letting him place his body in between your legs, smiling through the kiss as if he’s telling you ‘good job’.

Mark spread kisses around your body, kissing every inch of your being, earning a giggle from you and with that he’s happy you’re not nervous anymore.

And when Mark pull away to discard his clothes, and release his cock, you were speechless when you saw it that you removed your own ruined shirt just to be fair ask him to get back in between your legs this instant.

“Lets do this right,” he said and immediately placed a finger on your wet slit that took your breath away. Up and down, you feel his finger nothing else, and when the moment comes and Mark put a finger in, your hand reached for his hand and tried to stop him because the pleasure was too much. But your handsome boyfriend was just smiling at you, smirking because you looked so ruined right now all you can do is smile back at him. And when he insert two fingers, he kissed you deeply and caught every moan you let out, every cry of his name, every groan, or whine.

And the next thing you know you’re closing your legs as you shiver and curl your body. Trying to get away from Mark because you’re sensitive already but your boyfriend is not stopping.

“First of many,” he says and stopped to pull out his fingers. But he is not yet done. He only gave you a few seconds to catch your breath and went back kneeling in between your legs again.

“Are you going to fuck me now?” you asked with ragged breaths and tired expression.

Mark did not answer you verbally, but he did physically. Licking your pussy juices and spreading your pussy lips while his eyes are completely locked on yours.

You said ‘no’, but you didn’t mean it and the moment his tongue swipes on your cunt you grabbed hold on your headboard and hold on for your dear life. Clenching and unclenching as Mark eats you out, trying so hard to close your legs but you can’t until your second orgasm drowned you quickly and all you can do is breathe in and out heavily.

“I hate you” you said but you’re clinging to Mark and sharing your warmth to him.

“I love you,” he said and intertwined his fingers with his, kissing your knuckles before he place both your hands above your head. You voluntarily spread your legs wider for him, and with his free hand he lines his cock finally.

“I didn’t know you’re big,”

What you said made him smirk and proved your discovery even more by pulling out entirely and slamming his cock back in your wet hole. “Now you know,” he said small grunts and went in deeper. He knew what he’s doing to you is too much pleasure because it’s your first time and also he can tell by the way you hold on to his hand.

“Planning to crush my hand?” he let out a cut giggle like he isn’t fucking you deep right now. How can he do that? Be insanely cute while doing something filthy to you.

“Y/n, I’m close can I go faster?” and you can only nod.

Fucking you faster and harder than earlier, you watch Mark become someone sinful when he started focusing on his own release, kissing your boobs while he fucks you, give your ass a tight squeeze, lick your neck like you’re a fucking ice cream and whisper dirty words or word that make you shy that you didn’t know you would love hearing. Like,

“Let me fuck you again,”

“You like it deep huh?”

“Y/n, you’re worth wait, you’re mine forever”

“This is the last pussy I’ll fuck,”

And in the end he pulled out and jerked in front of you, letting his cum fall on your lower abdomen and watch his cum drip to your sheets. It’s a shame that he can’t cum inside you, it would have felt great.

“Fucking shit- that sex was great,”

He rests his head on top of your boobs, but went back to kissing you again on the lips. Apologizing for his mess, aplogizing for his words and saying ‘i love you’ over and over again.

That morning, you stayed naked with Mark in bed for a few hours just talking and laughing, flirting and kissing. It felt great having a huge progress with your relationship, especially that it’s Mark who took your virginity.

“Hey, you okay?” he was talking about your pussy because even though he didn’t went hard earlier, he did fucked you a little bit harder knowing that it’s your first time. “I meant what I said earlier. Please be my last, I don’t want to give my love to anyone but you. It’s too early to talk about marriage but, I know it’s you. I’ll love you better each day, I promise”

Comfort, warmth and safety. That’s what you felt hearing those beautiful words from him that you became speechless and crashed your lips to him.

His promise was kept every day until you both finished high school together, enjoy the summer before he leaves and make unforgettable memories as many as you can.

But knowing that he’s going away to follow his dreams and fulfil his goals, Mark worried too much about long distance relationship and how it never worked.

“Are we really together now? I’m not dreaming right?”

Your sleep was disturbed when Mark called you in the middle of the night. Today, you taught him how to bake and had a couple of rounds during Netflix and chill, so to be honest you’re really exhausted and tired.

“Mark, we kiss, we date, we have sex almost everyday. Yes baby, we’re together for almost four months already. Now can we please go back to sleep-“

“Go down open your door. I’m outside”

And the moment you opened the door for him, you gave him a ‘shh’ sign, telling him that your parents are already asleep. You came closer to him for a kiss, and told him, “it’s real. I’m real. Can you please promise me to stop overthinking, you’re making me worry,”

He didn’t answer you but lowered his head. You knew he’s sorry and he’s just doing this for you,

“I love you, Mark. I’m yours forever,” you said and kissed him again. Deeply this time, to the point that it put you both in the mood and the next thing you know Mark is fucking you while he’s covering your mouth with his hand.

When Mark left you for college your relationship went downhill and you’re both getting hurt already. Fighting is part of the relationship, yes, but the fight you have with Mark almost everyday was becoming the reason why you want to distance yourself from him. You feel caged with how he love you, you feel like he’s strangling you with all these rules you need to follow to maintain trust in your relationship but nothing is working.

Until he finally realized what he’s doing to you.

So during his vacation, he visited you and you were so excited to the core that you welcomed him with a tight hug and the biggest smile. Only to find out that he wanted to break up.

But

“It’s just until we finish college. Let’s wait and do it right. I don’t want to fight for you while hurting you at the same time. Please understand. I’m not breaking up because I don’t love you. This time off will heal us both,”

The breakup did you no good. You were sad every day and to be honest you would rather want him to nag you than miss him like this and you can believe that between the two of you, he’s the one doing great in life. It makes you want to believe that he doesn’t love you anymore. Like the man you fell in love to, wasn’t there anymore.

“Still crazy about my stupid brother huh? Come here and help feed my fishes,”

His brother, Lee Taeyong, disturbed you and your ugly thoughts while you finish the drink their mom gave you during one of your visits.

“Well, college was good to you. I see you’re back and finally opening a bakeshop downtown” he hands you the fish food as you wait for him to talk and feed the fishes generously.

“I’m very much excited to open my bakery. Want to make cookies later instead of being broken hearted?”

And as days, weeks, and months pass by, not only Lee Taeyong making you forget about Mark, he also healed your heart and won it fair and square.

It started how he makes your heart flutter whenever he holds your hand while teaching you how to bake, how praises you and tell you that you look beautiful everyday, how he makes his kitchen your own little world during closing time and you’re sitting on the kitchen counter with Taeyong in between your legs and taking your breath away with a heated kiss.

When you and taeyong started dating, you experienced true love. You didn’t want to hurt Mark but what you have with Taeyong is real and you had to hide this from him for years and years and years, until you finally graduated in college.

And Tayong proposed to you. It was the only time you couldn’t hide your relationship from Mark anymore because Taeyong was the one who confessed to him.

*this is the part where you read the first part again JEJEHEH

[songbirdsingingthings]

You and Your Everything - Shouto Todoroki x Reader

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Kohei Horikoshi

MHA Masterlist - Main Masterlist

WARNINGS: Your parents being the absolute worst, a few minor curse words, a lil angsty

Requested by Anonymous:

HI i love your writing and i saw that your requests were open? i was wondering if you could do like a shoto x reader but instead y/ns parents are like the opposite of shoto and endeavor? like for an example how shoto wants nothing to do with his dad and and all y/n wants to do is please her parents or make them happy since they never pay attention to her like that? both house holds are still toxic but i feel like thatd be an interesting dynamic

A/N: This was so interesting and cool to write! Obviously, the subject matter was much angstier and sadder than a lot of the stuff I have written, but I found writing this, like, entire paragraph of dialogue of Shouto (you’ll know it when you see it) to be so entirely incredible. I just kept on writing. Thank you so much for this awesome rec!

Word Count: 1.8K

“You’ve reached the voicemail of Kana Y/L/N. Please leave a message. BEEP”

“Hi Mom, it’s me again. Just calling to remind you that third years are allowed to reserve a box for their parents in the Sports Festival arena! I saved one for you and Dad in the front row, which are the best seats in the whole place. The Festival takes place tomorrow, as I told you guys about three months ago so you could put it on your calendars. I’m, uh, looking forward to seeing you again! Love you, bye!” Pressing the red circle that represented an “end call” button, you heaved a sigh and looked through your recent calls. Nine recent calls that your mother had missed within the last three days. Ten that your father had. They’re just busy, you tell yourself, trying to ease your mind. They’re just busy right now, but they had said that they’d come. They’ll come. Your thoughts had consumed you to such a point you didn’t even register the little nudges to your side.

“.../N? Y/N?” You blinked quickly to rid your consciousness of its prior dilemma and turn your head to the side. With heterochromatic eyes blinking fondly at you matched with a slight frown of concern, your boyfriend prompts the same question that had earlier feel upon deaf ears. “Y/N, I was asking if you are alright. You seemed a little… not here when I asked you just a minute ago.” Shouto’s voice, like always, is level, however little hints of emotion always tend to slip in between the cracks of his pronunciations. Like now, for instance, you hear the traces of worry cling onto his words.

“Oh, sorry, I was just leaving a voicemail.” You say simply. The sentence that left your mouth would seem normal to any person that you were friendly with. However, Shouto knew the implications. His shoulders seemed to tense as he took your hand. You squeeze his hand to reassure him. “Don’t worry Sho, they’re just really busy people. I’m sure they definitely carved time out of their schedules to come and watch me. I just need to make sure I get into the tournament round so I don’t waste their time.” You say, laughing a little dryly. Shouto doesn’t smile at the joke you made at your own expense.

“I just don’t get it.” He says, which makes your smile drop into a frown. “Why do you try so hard for them.” Your spine straightens at his words and your grip on his hand loosens. “Y/N, they’re awful people-”

“They’re my parents and I want to make them proud.” You say swiftly, a slight grimace on your face. Silence settles between the two of you, that is, until you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Jumping up immediately and grabbing your phone, you take a glance at the caller ID. Your heart sinks as you see it’s a random telemarketer, and click decline call. You look back to your boyfriend, which was a mistake, because his eyes pooled with pity. Not feeling quite right in the space you were in, you grab your school bag and stuff your phone the furthest down it would go. “I’m going to go freshen up before dinner.” You decide, nodding towards Shouto and walking away a bit.

“Do you want me to come with you?” His suggestion on a normal basis would make your face flush and your heart beat a bit faster, however today you just wanted to be alone for a bit.

“No, it’s okay,  I’ll see you at dinner.” You say quickly.

“Y/N.” His grip came softly around your wrist, tugging you back a bit to face him. “I’m… I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I just love you,” he said those last two words a bit softer than the others, “and I want to see you happy.” Butterflies took flight in the pit of your stomach as you held Shouto’s gaze, his heartfelt and earnest words weighing heavily within your heart. Your frown wobbles into a smile as you lean in to place a quick kiss to his cheek.

“I know.”

“Did you see me out there?!” You cheer, careening down the arena hallway towards where Shouto was waiting with open arms. You leapt directly into them and was quickly picked up and spun around in a little circle.

“I did, you were incredible.” Shouto gushes, his cheek squished against yours. You laughed joyously as you felt his arms squeeze you closer to him, your heart racing with both leftover adrenaline from your second round tournament match and the feeling of love from your boyfriend. However, your laughter and the embrace you were tucked into died down when you heard the faint clearing of a throat, causing both of you to turn towards the sound. If you were looking into a mirror, you’re sure you would see your eyes grow to the size of saucers and your jaw dropping just a tad at the sight before you. There, standing about ten paces away, were your parents. Your mother, with her hair tied back in an uncomfortable looking bun with her freshly pressed pencil skirt and matching career jacket. Your father at her side, his suit and pants looking as sharp as ever. And the expressions they held…

“M-mother? Father? You two made it?” You stammer out, dumbfounded at their appearance. “But I, uh, didn’t see either of you in the stands.” You admit, earning a nonchalant expression from both parents.

“Well, with that lackluster performance that you executed, did you really think we would want to show our faces? It’s bad enough our colleagues know of you and all your little failures that you like to categorize as triumphs. Honestly, you really thought that we would want to be on camera for the entire world to see?” Your mother’s bored tone and biting words struck you hard. You felt your spine straighten and your hands stick to your side as you bit the inside of your cheek.

“But… I won.” You said, so soft that the sound of someone’s heartbeat could overpower it. If your gaze wasn’t stuck to your parents’ forms, you would have seen Shouto’s eyebrows narrow, awaiting for the oncoming onslaught.

“Good Lord, you want to call that a win? It makes me wonder how you ever got into this school or passed any physical examination in your class.” Your father’s tone, just as bored and apathetic as your mother’s, sent trembles down your spine. You clenched your fists and jaw to try and prevent crying. But, of course, it was of no use. The tears trickled their way, one by one, down your cheek like raindrops on a car window.

“And you’re crying now. Fantastic.” Your mother retorts, turning her to your father now. “I told you we should have sent her directly to the Hero Public Safety Commission. Would’ve toughened her up in no time-”

“CAN’T YOU SEE SHE’S UPSET?!” You almost didn’t recognize his voice. The soft spoken, pensive Shouto Todoroki that you knew to be your boyfriend rarely got upset. When he did, it was almost always in the middle of a battle or fight, just as he was about to use a special move. But this time, it was pure rage and anger that clung onto his words. Your parents, now sprouting an expression of slight surprise turned their attention to the seething red-and-white haired boy at your side. “All she ever does is work to make you happy. Day and night, twenty-four seven, it’s for you. And now here you come, strutting back into her life with some agenda on how she should fight and how much of a so-called failure she is?! Well screw that! You don’t get to have an opinion when it comes to her! She has been trying to get a hold of both of you for months on end and getting no more than the same damn message from your voicemails, telling her that you’re too busy for her!” Shouto’s face was red now. His fists were balled up and the tiniest flecks of flames were flaking from his left side. “And then, you’re now finally here, and you come with this holier-than-thou attitude! Y/N L//N, your daughter, is the most incredible and capable person I have met in my entire life. The fact that a person like her can rise like a phoenix from the ashes that is your attitudes and parenting styles is a miracle, because in every way, shape and form, she will forever be a marvel. To me, to our classmates, and to the entire world. I just can’t wait to see the look on your sorry asses when the time comes for her to give her thank you speech after becoming the number one hero, and you don’t hear either of your names mentioned once.” The silence is deafening after Shouto finishes speaking. You feel your whole body trembling and can recognize that there are tears falling down past your cheeks, but nothing else. Nothing else, until that constricting feeling that you felt bound to you to your parents’ approval starts to loosen the moment Shouto takes your hand in his. 

“Let’s go.” Your words, merely more than a whisper, is all it takes for Shouto to wrap and arm around your waist as he marches past your dumbstruck parents, towards a private room. The second Shouto clicks the lock shut, you let yourself break down. Sobs racked your body as you clung onto his shirt, his arm, and his love. “They’re supposed to be my parents. How… I can’t even do anything.” You hiccup into his tear-stained gym uniform, the one identical to yours (without the blotches of tears).

“Hey, shh, you’re okay. You’re fine.” Shouto says, his reassuring words grounding you. “You will get through this whole… mess, okay? I know you can. All you need to do is take it one day at a time.” You nod into his chest and let your head lie there as the tears finally started to cease from falling.

“You, uh, probably have to get ready for your match, right?” You sniff, moving one of your hands up to your face to rub at your nose.

“I’m fine here.” Shouto says, wrapping his arms around you. “Y/N, you really were incredible out there. Do not let them make you think otherwise.” You nod again as you feel Shouto begin to play lightly with your hair. “You are enough. More than, in fact. They might think otherwise, but I don’t. I love you, and your smile, and your everything.” You were too fried emotionally to say anything back, but Shouto knew. He knew that it would take time to finally break from your parents’ psychological hold over you and that he would always be there at your side.

[holylulusworld]

Single Parent

Title: Single parent

Square Filled: Relationship break-up

Ship: Mobster!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Characters: Sam Winchester, John Winchester, Benny LaFitte

Rating: Mature

Summary: Your arranged bond with Dean grows fruits but you can’t be happy as you should.

Warnings: angst, language, arranged marriage, unrequited feelings, sad reader, abandonment, Dean being a douche, giving birth (no description), shitty relationship, pregnant reader

A/N: I already outlined the story before I got the request. I changed the ending and a few scenes to make it fit.

Word Count: 3.5 k

Written/Created for: @spnmixedbingo​​

Divider by @firefly-graphics​​

2021 SPN Mixed BINGO Masterlist

Now…

“No John, I’m done,” you cry, running your hand over your baby bump. “You could force me to marry your son, to stay with him and have his heir,” you sniff, looking around the guest room you chose over your comfortable bedroom. “But you can’t force me to play the obedient housewife. I tried, John—I really tried but Dean doesn’t even like me.”

“He’s just a little stubborn and rough on the outside like me, doll,” John tries to reason with you. “Show him the latest ultrasound and he’ll change.”

“No, he won’t,” voice bitter you sit on the bed, shaking your head lightly. “That’s the problem. I-I’m nothing more than a breeder to your son. I know he doesn’t reciprocate my feelings, but I had hoped he’ll be kinder to me when he sees me swollen with his child. I know he cares for the baby, but sadly I’m not sure it’s because he loves them or as you want an heir.”

“Y/N,” sitting next to you John watches you tear up. Months of rejection and coldness took a toll on you. “I didn’t know it’s that bad.”

“He told Sam I’m nothing but a vessel for his child, John. I could be dead, and he wouldn’t care,” choking out a sob you give John a sad smile. “Did you know he never came to the doctor with me? He never showed and my gynecologist believes I am a single parent – and maybe I am.”

“What happened last week? Why did you suddenly move out of your shared bedroom, doll? Did Dean hurt you?”

“Not physically-“ you huff, looking at the wedding band around your finger. “I was at my doctor’s practice for the next check-up, as usual, Dean didn’t show, even though, he promised to be there,” sniffling you take the wedding band off, dropping it onto the bed, not wanting to feel it on your skin right now.

“We had a meeting, I’m sorry for keeping Dean away from you,” John lies, you can see it in his eyes and his voice is a little too low. He doesn’t realize you know him too well to not see through his lies. “Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt you, Y/N.”

“I saw all those happy couples and excited dad’s pacing around the waiting room and realized, Dean gives a shit on me and his child. I can’t leave, but at the same time I won’t pretend Dean is not the cold-hearted man he is,” sadly you can’t hide you are still in love with his son, but your try your hardest.

“What happened, Y/N? I heard you fought with your husband. Did he hurt you?” John presses. “I need to know…”

“You really want to know? Fine, I’ll tell you everything happening that day-“

One week earlier…

“Mrs. Winchester,” the nurse chirps, leading you into the room. “Where’s your husband? Didn’t he want to join us today?”

“He wanted but as always, business comes first,” you grumble, handing the young woman a business card. “That’s my brothers-in-law’s number. If I ever need help, please call him.”

“What about your husband?” confused the nurse looks at you, blinking a few times before she recognizes your teary eyes. “Ah, got it. I will call Sam Winchester if it’s necessary. We will add it to your medical record.”

“Thank you,” giving the nurse a sad smile you try to push the tears away. “As I said, my husband is always busy, and Sam offered his help. If not, call the second number, that’s my father-in-law.”

“No problem, Mrs. Winchester. Now let’s turn our attention toward your baby. Are you excited to find out about the gender?” nodding you swallow the lump in your throat, hiding you wished Dean would’ve come to find out with you.

“All done, Cher?” watching you walk out of the practice, a soft smile on his lips Benny offers his hand to you. “So, did they tell you the gender today?”

“It’s a boy,” you choke out, done fighting the tears. “You’re the first one I told, Benny-“ ignoring people watch you cry outside of your doctor’s practice you hide your face in Benny’s chest.

“He should’ve been here, Y/N. I’m sorry.”

“Everyone is always sorry; everyone but Dean,” angrily fisting Benny’s jacket you look up at your bodyguard. “I’m done trying, Benny. This is ridiculous. He’s not interested in me or the baby.”

“Dean cares about the baby, Cher,” you huff, rolling your eyes. “It’s true.”

“Dean only cares about my son as he needs an heir. There is no love in him. I-I wanted to share this with him. Dean, he should’ve been here with me, experience every step but he refuses to even give me that. My first pregnancy should’ve been something special but now, it only makes me sad.”

“How’s the baby?” Dean asks, awaiting your report as usual.

“Still alive. Benny got the ultrasound if you want to see them. If you want to know about the gender, ask your friend too,” you quip, walking toward the walk-in-wardrobe to get your favorite pajamas, you ignore Dean follows you. “Unlike other people he was there.”

“I had a meeting, Y/N,” arguing Dean watches you gather more clothes, frowning as you didn’t jump on him to tell him every single detail about your appointment. 

Usually, you would excitedly tell him about the baby, forcing him to look at the ultrasound picture and demand his attention. Today, you barely said two words, not even tried to talk to him. 

“A meeting, sex with one of your girls – I don’t care Dean. I’m tired of this, of you. To give you the space you need, I’ll go and have lunch with Charlie. Don’t wait for me–“ you chuckle, humorlessly. “Ah, yeah I forgot. You wouldn’t care if I never return.” walking out of the room, leaving a speechless Dean behind, you slam the door shut, making him flinch. 

“Benny, my wife is gone; just like all of her belongings, we need to find her! She’s pregnant with my child.”

“You only care about the baby, huh? Do you even know it’s a boy, Dean?” Benny sneers, placing the ultrasound picture into Dean’s hand. “Y/N is not gone, she simply moved into the guestroom next to John’s room. I helped her while you were out, doing god knows.”

“Wait – she moved into the guestroom? Why?”

“Seriously, Dean? You promised to be there, at least to get to know about the gender, and yet, you didn’t come to the practice. I think Y/N gave up trying,” huffing Dean watches you step out of the guestroom, ignoring he glares at you.

“Y/N, you can’t just move out of our bedroom!” muttering the words Dean watches you walk past him.

“Oh, you meant me. I thought I’m only a vessel, a breeder to carry your heir,” whipping your head toward Dean you give him a cold glare. Your heart races and you can feel fresh tears well-up to your eyes, but you need to get this out before you can return to your room and cry some more. 

“I’m talking to you, Y/N. What if you go into labor and I’m not close by?” Dean mutters.

“I think it’s for the best you keep on ignoring me and give your whores all of your attention,” brushing past Dean you slap his hand away when he tries to touch you. 

“Y/N!”

“Don’t Winchester-“ you growl. “I fulfilled my duty and got pregnant. Now you can stick your dick into any pussy and stay the fuck away from me and don’t worry about my labor. I will, just like anything else since I got pregnant, handle this on my own. If I should need help at any point of my pregnancy, Sam and John offered to be there for me.”

Now …

“Dean messed up epically, huh?” John carefully tries when you get up to walk toward the nursery next to the guestroom. “What are you going to do?“

"Nothing, John. Just like the first four months of my pregnancy, I will try to do what’s best for my son,“ John’s eyes light up when you tell him he’s going to have a grandson. “Today I’ll focus on finishing the nursery. Benny and Sam helped me with the wallpaper and cradle. I must check on the bears I painted and will make a list of what I will need.”

“I can help,“ offering you a cracked smile John holds out his hand. “I got you into this shitshow, let me at least try to make things easier for you, doll.”

“You could check on the shelves and cradle,” you sniff. “I just wish I had a man like you or Sam by my side. I see the way Sam cares about his wife and children. I know Dean is a little closed-off, like you but he’s kind to everyone he likes. Must be me.”

“Oh, Y/N,” slinging one arm around your shoulders John leads you out of your chosen bedroom. “You still got people caring about you. Sammy and I will be there and help you.”

“I know…”

“You’re talented,” looking at the bears you painted John smiles. “Mommy bear and baby bear,” he hums, admiring your painting. “Where’s the dad?”

“I’m a single parent, John. Why should I paint a daddy bear if he gives a shit on me and his son?” Dean stands in the doorframe, watching his father help you fix one of the shelves, swallowing thickly. “You know, every single woman at my doctor’s practice looks so happy, they glow and I just-“

“I get it, Y/N. You wanted your pregnancy to be special,” nodding you look at the bears. “You could draw an Uncle Sammy and Granddad John bear.”

“I’ll think about it, John,” with a small smile on your lips you watch John place the plushies onto one of the shelves. “You know, he didn’t even care about my morning sickness or cravings. I had this image in my mind. Dean the devoted soon-to-be dad helping me during my pregnancy. I know he doesn’t love me, I’m not delusional. But a bit more attention would’ve been nice.”

Two months later…

Used to being on your own you walk into your doctor’s practice. This time you don’t look at all the happy couples wishing it were you and Dean. Over the last weeks, you made up your mind.

Only as you don’t get to leave Dean doesn’t mean you must bear his behavior. So, you decided to keep your distance and only ask John, Sam, or Benny for help with the nursery.

You no longer tell Dean about your check-ups or try to include him in your pregnancy. 

“Morning, Mrs. Winchester,” you flinch when the nurse calls your name. “How are you feeling today? Will the baby daddy be here today too?”

“No,” you breathe out. “Let’s be honest, Sally.” giving the young nurse a sad smile, you point toward the other pairs. “I know you are only trying to be friendly but anytime you are asking about my non-present husband it stings. Why don’t you treat me like a single parent? Cause that’s what I am.”

“How’s the baby?” Dean asks again, following you toward the nursery. “Listen, I know you try to punish me but not telling me about our baby breaks one of my rules.”

“The baby is still alive. He grows fast and the ultrasound picture lies on your desk. If you have more questions, call my gynecologist or,” turning around you give Dean a cold look, “you could move your ass to the practice next time but I get it – you were busy.”

“I got the right to know about my son,” growling the words Dean steps closer but this time, he doesn’t intimidate you with his size. “Tell me everything.”

“Weight and size are average. His heartbeat is strong, and he sucked his thumb today,” you scoff at Dean’s sudden interest. “You would know more about your child if you actually cared. He started to be more active, I can feel our little boy kick me harder but so far, only John felt our baby kick.”

Walking away you enter your room, slamming the door shut behind you, locking it to take a deep breath.

“He’s my son too! You can’t shut me out!” Dean yells from the hallway.

“Sperm donator, you son of a bitch,” you growl. “If it were up to me, I’d file for divorce.”

“YOU WON’T!” he mutters. “I will not allow you to leave me.”

“I got that, but you should know that our marriage is over to me. If you dare to get close to me ever again, you’ll lose your hands or cock. Go and fuck one of your sluts.”

“I should-“ frustrated Dean kicks your door. “You’re still my wife, Y/N. I expect you to respect me and our bond.”

“Fuck that,” feeling exhausted you lie on your bed, gently running one hand over your belly. “He’ll not ruin your life, baby boy. I promise to protect you from your asshole father.”

“I heard that.”

“I don’t fucking care,” you cry. “Now leave me alone. You got the information you need. Don’t worry, your heir is still healthy. Even though, you didn’t help me at all…”

Two months, two weeks, and five days later…

“Looks good,” John hums, glancing at the ultrasound picture. “How are you, doll? Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m fine,” looking at your wedding band you try to swallow the lump in your throat. “Is there a way to protect my child from Dean? Can you add something to the prenup? Please.”

“I will not allow Dean to hurt your son, Y/N. I don’t think Dean would ever lay a finger on him-“

“That’s not what I meant. Being around Dean is unhealthy for me. What will he do to our child? How shall I explain to my baby boy that his father hates me? That I’m only a breeder to him, a body he could use to get a child.”

“Are you fucking my father?” ludicrously you look at Dean when he storms into your room, your solace. “That’s the reason you moved out of our bedroom – huh? You spread your legs for John Winchester.”

“What the fuck, Dean?” you sniff, reluctantly leaving the bed. “Over the last week I barely left my room as I didn’t feel well, and you accuse me of such a thing? I don’t have the time to fuck anyone. Unlike you, I had to take care of anything-“ whimpering you feel a piercing pain ripple through your womb. “Oh, god-“

“Y/N?” paling Dean watches you crouch down in front of your bed, crying out in pain. “What’s wrong? Y/N, talk to me, sweetheart.”

“Go and get your father or Sam,” you pant, while you try to remember everything the midwife taught you. “I think the baby wants to get out.”

“No, it’s too early,” panicked Dean rushes to your side to help you sit on the bed. “I’ll call an ambulance, Y/N.”

“O-okay-“ you scream, feeling another painful contraction approach. “No, no. My water just broke.” tears run down your cheeks when John and Sam stumble into the room. They heard your screams and try to help.

“Fuck, doll,” John mumbles, kneeling in front of you to calm you. “Sammy, call an ambulance and tell Benny to get Y/N’s bags. I’ll stay here to help her.”

“I already called an ambulance. Stop acting as if that’s your son,” Dean growls, glaring at his father.

“Do you want to help the mother of your child or fight with me right now, son? I think you showed how much you are interested in your child. Now shut the fuck up and help me here,” John would like to give his son a piece of mind but right now, he must take care of you.

“John,” grasping for your father-in-law’s hand, “promise me he won’t be there. I don’t want Dean inside the room while I give birth.”

"That’s my wife and child in there! Lemme inside,” Dean growls, fighting against one of the security guards. “Let me pass.”

“DEAN,” John’s voice booms through the hallway. “Your wife is in there. She’s in pain, scared, and tries to give birth to your baby. Stop acting like an idiot. You had it coming.”

“You didn’t care about your child or wife for over eight months. Did you honestly believe she wants you in there?” Sam huffs, squeezing Jess’s hand. “I was with Jess the whole time. I heard the heartbeat, saw my baby, felt it kick. I can’t believe you didn’t want to experience any of it.“

“I-I never wanted to marry Y/N. It was an arranged bond,” Dean sniffs, hearing you cry out in pain.

“This doesn’t change she’s your wife and that she needed you. Even more important, your son needed you. I believe babies bond with their parents in the womb. You could’ve talked to him, played music, or feel him kick.”

“Look at you baby boy,” cooing your son you feel your heart swell. Even if Dean is not going to show any affection toward your child, you’ll give the little boy all your love. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Can I finally see him too?” Dean mutters, sneaking into your room. “How could you let my father, Sam, and Jess see my son first?”

“I didn’t think you will find the time to visit me and your baby. If you would excuse me now, I want to concentrate on Robert Maximilian Winchester.”

“What?” gaping at you Dean feels his stomach churn. “You named him Robert? But-but we agreed to name him Dean jr. How could you not only keep me away while giving birth but also deciding on a name without me? That’s cruel.” Dean sniffs, looking at your son in your arms.

“Cruel–?” you take a deep breath, try to ignore the burning rage running through your veins. “Do you know what cruel means, Winchester? Cruel means that your husband, the man you love with all your heart ignores you completely. Cruel means that he never shows affection or at least cares about you during pregnancy.”

“I’m his father!”

“Sperm donator,” you retort. “We are only a breeder and a sperm donator. You are not a father, and never will be. You’ll not hurt my baby boy and push him away as you did with me. You can lay claim on him when he turns 18, until then I’ll give him all the love he deserves.”

“He’s my baby boy too,” sniffling Dean looks at your child, tearing up. “Let me at least hold him. Please.”

“Not today,” adamant you defend your son, not giving in. It’s your turn to be selfish and not to show any compassion. Dean can cry as much as he wants to.

Today, you’ll be the cruel one – even if it kills you.

“She doesn’t let me hold my son,” outside of your room Dean starts to cry. “I wasn’t allowed to hold my baby boy. How can she be so cruel?”

“I say it again – you had it coming,” John shrugs, ignoring he feels sorry for his son. “Y/N never was cruel. All she wanted was a bit of affection. Why couldn’t you give her that?”

“I just didn’t feel like pretending. But I care about our baby and want to hold him.”

Dean doesn’t leave your side. He sits next to your bed, still looking at his son.

“Please let me hold him, Y/N.”

“Five minutes,” you whisper, not looking at Dean. “You can hold him for five minutes and after that, you can pretend we do not exist until you need your heir.”

“It’s not like that,” with trembling fingers Dean takes Robert Maximillian out of your hands. “He’s so beautiful and tiny.”

“It’s a baby, what did you expect,” turning around to not watch Dean with your son you close your eyes. “Tell me when you are done playing daddy, Dean.”

“Why are you so cold. This isn’t you, Y/N.”

“That’s what happens to a loving person when she gives up. If you don’t like me the way I am now, you can always ask your dad to let me out of this marriage...”

“Look this is your room, baby boy,” cooing your baby you walk around the room. “There is a teddy bear, and over there is a cute duck. Maybe you’ll like the cat Sammy bought for you?”

“He doesn’t like cats,” Dean grumbles, walking into the nursery. “I bet he’s allergic like me.” hopefully looking at you Dean holds out his hands. “Come on, lemme hold him for a while.”

“I will leave you to your son, Dean. If you are done pretending you are a father, holler and I’ll take care of Robert,” carefully placing your son into Dean’s arms you ignore he tries to talk to you. 

“Y/N, we should talk about a few things.”

“Don’t hurt yourself, Dean. I’m stuck in this marriage, but this doesn’t mean I let you walk all over me ever again. I am a single parent, and this will not change…”

>> Part 2

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--------------------------------------

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[just-jordie-things]

(Please Don’t) Leave Me Alone - Richie Tozier

word count: 3142 warnings: swearing, mentions of being drugged summary: maybe richie ignoring you had more reason to it than you thought.  maybe he was just... jealous? ___

Looking back on it now, going to a party by herself was probably the worst idea (y/n’s) ever had.  Not because she disliked parties, she loved them, but she’d always gone in a group, or with a friend.  Tonight, she’d gone completely alone.

She’d thought it would be exciting, she could do whatever she wanted, and stay as late or leave as early as she pleased, not having to wait for a friend hooking up with a stranger or a ride home.  She could drink to no end and meet new people- it was a good idea, in theory.

Except now, she was trapped between a rock and a hard place.  Meaning the wall, and Steven Matson’s arm.  Earlier the attention had been welcomed, she didn’t mind being flirted with by a cute guy, it’d been a while since anyone had flirted with her, honestly, so it was very welcomed.

There was once a time where she didn’t really have to worry about that kind of attention, because she used to always get it from-

“Want me to get you another drink?” The boy in front of her asked, shaking her thoughts.

“Hm? Oh,” She nods, handing him her empt cup.  “Yeah, sure, thanks”

He grins in response before leaving.  And she doesn’t realize that she’s been holding her breath until she sighs, and slumps back against the wall.

Steven’s not that exciting, she realizes.  He’s been chatting her ear off for the past- who knows, hour, maybe? And she couldn’t recall a single thing he’d said.  It wasn’t due to the alcohol either.  He was just that simple.

He wasn’t ugly, though.

Running her hands through her hair, she wished that she had a tie to pull it back, because it was suddenly very hot in the room, and it was all she could focus on.  The smell of sweat from dancing and bustling bodies, and how much heat they generated in this small room.  She wanted to head outside for a breath of fresh air, but there was no way she could make it out and back in time to see Steven.

She made a glance towards the door, just out of curiosity, to see if she could run there and back.  But her eyes landed elsewhere.

On a tall, curly mop of haired figure that had just wandered in.

Richie’s eyes met hers, and she darted her gaze elsewhere with an inhumane speed.

Richie Tozier was her best friend, or at least he used to be.  In the past month he’d been shutting her out, until eventually he was more of a ghost than a friend at all.  She didn’t know what she did, or what happened that made him not want to hang out with her anymore, but it was no use trying to ask, because anytime she tried to talk to him, he’d vanish.

At first it was heartbreaking, because she’d known him for so long, and she thought that they were close enough to talk through any rough patch they could go through.  But as time went on and Richie pushed himself further away, (y/n) only became annoyed, and was a bit more eager to let him do whatever he wanted.

And if he wanted nothing to do with her, then fine.  She wasn’t going to beg him to stay.

Even though she really, really wanted to.

“Hope you didn’t miss me too much”

(y/n) nearly jumped when Steven appeared in front of her, one arm caging her in while he handed her a drink.  She gave him a short, weak smile, and backed herself up until the wall wouldn’t allow her to move away any further.  The flaw in this plan, however, is that Steven just followed, and the space between them was even shorter.

“Course not” She mumbled back, and was about to take a drink from her cup, before she noticed the strange fizzing at the bottom.

Great.  He spiked it with something.

She let out a soft sigh, lifting the cup to her lips and pretending to take a sip, so that he wouldn’t realize she caught on to his dumb scheme.

Tonight couldn’t have gone more terribly.

“So, whaddya say you and I go somewhere else?”

(y/n) looked up at him, eyes bored, and a eyebrow raised as if to say ‘really?’.

“Somewhere, huh?” She hums, only for her own entertainment.  “Like where?”

“Well we could go upstairs…” He suggested, leaning in closer.  It took a lot of energy for her not to shrink away.

God his breath smelled like beer.

“Or to my car out front,” He continued.  “Or honestly, we could just-”

“Alright pal,” (y/n) pushed her hand into his arm, and began to shove him away so she could leave.  “It’s not happening”

With that, she began to walk off, tossing her drugged drink to the ground carelessly.

“Wait wait wait,” Steven spun around, snatching her arm in his hand so she’d stop.  “But all night you-”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She snapped at him, yanking her arm to get it of his hold, but he was much stronger than her.  “Steven let go-”

“You’re such a fucking tease, (y/n),” He snarled, the playful and flirty voice long gone.  “Leading me on all night long, and now you’re acting like you don’t want this”

There’s a split second where she’s genuinely afraid of him, because his grip is unrelenting, and the look in his eyes suggests that he doesn’t care whether she gives in willingly or not.

And as soon as the idea of yelling for help crosses her mind, the feeling is gone.

Because she’s torn away from Steven’s hold, and there’s a secure hold around her waist.

“Why don’t you fuck off, Matson” A voice mutters.

All of the fear she’d previously felt disappeared, and it’s replaced by the surprise of having Richie right there next to her, keeping her firmly held against his side.

He’s being protective.

Steven rolls his eyes, obviously not giving a shit about Richie’s little display.  He scoffs, glancing from Richie to (y/n).

“Come on, why don’t you tell your little guard dog here that you can speak for yourself, and that he can go and fuck off now?” Steven asks.

(y/n) scoffs, staring at him with disgust, and honestly, she should spit on him.  She wants to spit on him, fuck she really wants to step forward and spit right on his face-

“Matson, I swear to fucking god, if another shitty fucking thing comes out of your mouth, I’ll break it,” Richie’s hand is tightening on her hip, and he’s pushing her behind him a bit.  “Seriously, walk away”

He’s practically growling, and even when they were friends she’d never seen him so… angry.

“Richie fucking Tozier why are you here being a buzzkill?” Steven spat out, taking a daring step forward.  “She clearly doesn’t even give a shit about you, so why don’t you just-”

The loud crack of skin on skin was a sharp echo, and anyone in a five foot radius could hear the burning sensation on Steven’s cheek.

(y/n) was panting, and she shook out her hand, because the slap stung her palm more than she thought it would.

“Fuck you” She muttered to the boy who was holding his cheek and whining like a baby.

She cast a glance towards Richie for a short moment, before shoving past him and making her way to the door.  She was done with this night, this party, she just wanted to go home and curl up into a ball under her blankets and forget all of this had happened.

Of course, she wasn’t able to leave that easy, and as soon as she walked out the door, someone hollered for her.

She looked back at Richie, before shaking her head, and continuing her trek.

“What do you want?” She muttered, leaving him no choice but to chase after her in order to catch up.

She barely even looked at him.

“Jesus, (y/n/n), give me some credit, I’m here to make sure you’re okay”

“Wow,” She rolls her eyes.  “Thanks.  Really,”

Her voice is monotone, so he knows she doesn’t mean it, and it’s annoying, but she continues before he can come up with some witty snap back remark.

She stops in her tracks, whirling around and shoving an accusatory finger into his chest.  He stumbles backward, caught off guard from the sudden action, but he catches his footing, left to watch her explode.

“Thanks for showing up, and for being there.  Wow, Richie.  Just… wow”

It’s more of a simmer than an explosion, but it feels just as bad.

(y/n) starts to walk off again, but Richie just runs up to her side again.

“For fucks sake (y/n)- will you pause for just a second-?”

“No!” She shouts, shaking her head furiously.  “No, Rich, I won’t, I’m not going to- I- I can’t wait for you anymore, I’m tired of waiting for you,” Her voice cracks, and he knows that if she starts crying right now, then he’s going to break.  “So can you please just… just go back to icing me out because it was honestly easier”

She sniffles, and turns away to walk home in peace.  It hurts to walk away but she’s just so tired of his bullshit.  Never before had her own body felt so heavy, each step making her bed more and more enticing.

Richie didn’t say anything, but he kept walking next to her.

She looked up at him, teary eyes narrowed, and her brow furrowed in a glare, but Richie just shrugged his shoulders.

“Well I’m not gonna let you walk yourself home alone at this time of night,” He said, and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket.  “So you’ll just have to put up with me for the next ten minutes”

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes again, but doesn’t give him the benefit of a remark, opting instead to keep her mouth shut.

She makes it a whole minute before feeling compelled to say something.

“What were you even doing there?” She muttered out, wrapping her arms around herself tightly.  “I thought you hated parties now”

He lets out a chuckle, earning another glare from the girl.

“To come save you, obviously,” He teases, which she definitely doesn’t appreciate.  “I just thought I’d give it a shot, seeing as I had nothing else going on tonight”

She didn’t know what she wanted to hear, but that certainly wasn’t it.  And Richie could tell, because she was frowning.

“Are you mad?” He asked with a chuckle.

“You did not just fucking ask me that” She mutters back.

“(y/n), you asked, what did you want me to say?” He asks, and she just scoffs.

“I didn’t need you to swoop in like some hero and rescue me, Richie,” She told him.  “You might find this hard to believe, but I’ve actually learned to live on my own now thank you very much.  And with that means I can protect myself, I don’t need you to-”

“Alright, I get it,” He mutters.  “Your ‘standing back and doing nothing’ was your way of standing up for yourself,” He says, and before (y/n) can argue, he’s muttering again.  “My apologies, I didn’t realize you had that handled.  Which is why I came over to help your ass-”

“Alright, that’s enough-”

“-which would have been his, by the way, had I not intervened”

“Congratu-fucking-lations!” (y/n) shrieked.  “Go ahead and pat yourself on the fucking back then.  What do you want from me? Huh? Do you really think I would’ve let Steven fucking Matson have his way with me?”

“No, I don’t think that,” Richie mumbled.  “But I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.  Or grabbing you like that-”

“Wow,” (y/n) rolled her eyes.  “I honestly didn’t think you still gave a fuck”

Richie looked down at her, but she’d rendered him speechless, so he didn’t say anything.  He looked forward as they walked in silence for a little while longer.

It was silent until they got to her porch.

She looked up at him, with a sad sort of expression, like looking at him broke her heart.  And quite frankly, it did.

“Thanks for walking me home, Richie,” She said in a soft mutter.  “You can go back to forgetting about me now”

She turned to walk inside, but his hand stopped her.  It wrapped around her wrist delicately, in a hold much more gentle than Steven had her in earlier.  If she wanted, she could tug her arm away and go inside.  If she wanted.  

“For the fucking record,” Richie muttered down to her, voice so low it was almost in a growl like it had been earlier.  “I wasn’t icing you out because I wanted to.  You think I want to? For fucks sake (y/n), I couldn’t be around you anymore because I was so goddamn in love with you that it hurt being around you when you obviously didn’t feel the same way.  You don’t know how much it fucking sucks being friendzoned by you.  I thought it was going to be easier not having you around, than having you right in front of me, and out of reach,”

Her heart is pounding, and she could feel it everywhere.  From her chest to her stomach to her through to her cheek to the very tips of her fingers- she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  Richie had been in love with her? It was almost too good to be true, and normally she wouldn’t believe it, but she could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice, he’d never been more serious about anything.

“I’m sorry for doing it,” He continues.  “But if I hadn’t, I would’ve lost my fucking mind”

“That’s such bullshit,” (y/n) mumbles, her breath hitching in her throat.  “You shut me out because you had feelings for me?” She asks, and Richie furrows his brows, offended by the outburst.  “Did you ever think about- I don’t know- just telling me?” She asks with a humorless laugh.  “I mean, jesus Richie, we would’ve been together this whole fucking time, but instead you make me think that you hate me and you shut me out-”

“Hold on- stop- you liked me?” Richie asks, shocked by her off-handed confession.

“Liked you?” (y/n) repeats breathlessly.  “Richie, I’ve been in love with you since we were kids, you fucking dumbass-”

She raises her hand up to shove him in the chest, but he captures it with his own before leaning over and kissing her.  It’s sudden, so sudden that she trips on nothing but the sheer surprise of his lips on hers, but Richie’s arm wraps around her waist, securing her against him.

A sigh escapes her, one of content and safety, and she melts against him, almost becoming a puddle on her doorstep.  The hand in his is held tightly against his chest, and the other is gripping his shoulder, keeping her balanced.

He kisses her again, quickly, before she can completely pull away.  Just in case she decides to walk through her door and never look at him again.

When they part, it’s slow, and his hand flies up to cup her cheek, a quick but gentle action, and his thumb traces over her cheekbone with a featherlight touch.

Her eyes are still shut, and she blindly leans forward a bit, close enough that when she whispers, he feels it against his lips.

“Are you gonna go back to ignoring me?”

He chuckles, stealing another quick peck, before shaking his head.

She finally opens her eyes, and instantly, there’s a smile on her lips.

“I guess that depends, on if you want to go out with me tomorrow night?”

“To a party?” She asks.

“No, of course not,” Richie shakes his head.  “Anything else, literally anything else” He murmurs, and she grins even wider, nodding her head.

“Yeah, yeah anything else sounds good to me” She agrees softly.  

She’s still nodding, in a shaky sort of way, and Richie has to cup her face in both hands to get her to stop.

“Okay,” He hums.  “I’ll pick you up tomorrow, then”

“Okay,” She repeats.  “I’ll see you tomorrow”

He gives her a grin, before letting go of her, and stepping back.

“Alright then” He hums.

She watches him go, a delighted smile on her face.  Her heart is still pounding in her chest, and she thinks it might never stop.

“Wait, Rich,”

She calls when he’s descended her front steps, and she’s quick to race up to him, wrap her arms around him, and lean over the few inches that she’s towered above him, and kiss him one more time.

His arms encircle her waist, holding her flush against his chest.  She’s on her tiptoes on the step, and one of her feet lifts off the ground, both from the bliss and from Richie picking her up, just a little bit.

“I just wanted one more,” She murmured, and Richie laughed, kissing her quickly once more, and then again.  “Okay, Romeo,” She sighed.  “You better go home before my parents come out and see us”

“Fine, fine,” He sighed, and backed away, reluctantly releasing her from his arms.  “Tomorrow”

“Tomorrow” She says back.

She combs her fingers through his hair for a second, before turning and actually heading inside.

With a content sigh, she leans her back against the front door, eyes falling shut as her mind wandered to the events of the night.  It was ridiculous, how quick of a turn things went.  And now, she was going to see Richie tomorrow, for a date.  She couldn't believe it.

“Who was that boy?” A voice asked, making her perk up, and realize her mother had been waiting there at the door.

“Richie,” (y/n) replied.  “He walked me home”

“Richie your friend?” Her mother replied.  “You’re friends again?”

(y/n) grinned, nodding her head.

“Well, I’m going to bed,” She said.  “G’night, mom-”

“You’re dating this boy, now?”

“Richie,” (y/n) reminded, pausing on the steps to look down at her.  “And yes, I- I think I am”

Her mother shakes her head, and lets out a small scoff.

“Really, (y/n)? Of all your options-”

“Oh, fuck off,” (y/n) laughs, trying not to listen too closely to the harsh words.  “Don’t go acting like you give a shit now”

She ascends the stairs, and forgets about her mother’s cruel idea of parenting.  It won’t matter tomorrow, though.  So she thinks about tomorrow.  Because she’s gotten Richie back, and he’s all hers now.

___

taglist: @thegr8kush​

xoxo ~ jordie

[its-nebula]

V3 Boys With an Overdramatic Fem!S/O

Sigh.

That's all he does is just sigh.

He tries to word things in a way that wouldn't make you feel the need to do any theatrics, but sometimes it can't be avoided.

"S/O... We can't go on our date tonight. I'll be too caught up with work, and... there she goes."

He watched as you rested your hand on your forehead, falling backwards onto the couch, telling him to "go, go on without you".

He jumped when he heard dramatic organ music, and looked to see Kaede playing ab organ right in your living room.

"K-Kaede?! When did you-? Why is-?! How-"

Kaede shrugged, pressing the keys as you continued your monologue.

"She hired me, and I get to play an organ!"

It's a good thing he has patience!

He doesn’t quite know how to keep you from reacting in the way that you do, so he just lets it happen.

“S/O, my dear, you know that I’ll gladly support you through any emotional turmoil you may face...but all they announced was that this was their final season-”

He watched as you laid across your special fainting couch, whining about how you would have to suffer when your favorite show ended.

“Hmm... I never knew that human emotions could be so fragile before I met you.”

Kiyo didn’t mean it in a bad way, but he regretted saying anything after seeing your reaction. 

“Now, now! All I meant was that, according to the studies I’ve conducted, most people usually save these dramatics for the theatre.”

Kiyo, stop talking.

“Really, I think you may have a natural affinity for it, S/O! Nobody would be able to compete with your over exaggeration of the emotions that you display, not by a mile~”

Kiyo. Stop. Talking.

A match made in Clown Hell.

The Drama King and Queen.

I hope everybody around you has prepared themselves because there is absolutely no turning back.

If somebody were to insult you, you’d act like you’d been shot in the heart, falling into Kokichi’s arms.

“No...NO! S/O! Why? Why would you do this to my precious Queen?!”

Here come the crocodile tears.

Don’t worry, it works the other way around too.

“What did you just say? You think we’re overdramatic? WAAAAAAAAAAAAH, I CAN’T EVEN EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS ANYMORE!”

The two of you could fill a pool with how many tears you produce. 

Sometimes Kaede plays the piano for dramatic effect.

“Kaede, will you stop encouraging them? This is a serious problem.”

“I don’t know, I just think it’s kind of funny.”

He's just... over it man.

Ryoma just really does not care anymore.

Every time he tells you news he already knows what’s coming.

“Well, S/O, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I heard the dog dies in the movie.”

Cue his girlfriend crying and monologuing about how the poor animal deserves to live!! He deserves to live!!

“...are you done yet?”

Everyone else in the movie theater lobby was staring at you after you’d been wailing about how Hollywood deserves to perish for their crimes.

Ryoma didn’t really like being the center of attention, so he just grabbed your hand and led you to the movie, a little embarrassed.

He doesn't get it :(.

"Why is S/O acting like that? It looks like her emotions system has gone into overdrive!"

He looked at you rolling around on the floor, after your favorite characters in the book you were reading kissed.

"Sorry, but us meatbags don't have hard drives! Not like you have any idea what it's like. She's just being dramatic, tell her to quit being such a drama queen!"

"I refuse to tell my girlfriend how to live her life! I will comfort her instead!"

He bends down to your level, and attempts to comfort you.

"S/O, don't worry! I will do everything in my power to make sure you're feeling better once again!"

He's so used to eccentric people that nothing fazes him anymore.

“Here she goes again. Thanks a lot for bringing it back up, Kokichi.”

You started to cry about the death of your favorite character, how they shouldn’t have been killed off so early. They barely had time for any real character development! Oh, the humanity! When will the pain end?!

Kokichi laughs because he knew you were going to do it, which is why he brought them up in the first place.

Rantaro crosses his arms and lets you complete your monologue.

“She’ll get tired eventually.”

I mean, really, it would’ve been so much better if that other character had died in their place! They were super boring throughout the whole game anyways, everybody probably forgot they existed most of the time because they were soooooo irrelevant to the plot!

“Mmmhm. That’s nice, baby.”

He’s not even paying attention, he’s flipping through a magazine.

He actually buys into it.

He actually listens to every word that you say when you tend to talk on and on about the tiniest things.

Talking about how that dastardly butterfly scared you half to death by landing on your shoulder?

“Gonta make sure butterfly no can scare S/O anymore!”

If you “faint”, he rushes to catch you, and gives you a piggyback ride.

“S/O should be more careful!”

Freaks out whenever you get overly upset.

"Miu no should say bad things to S/O! S/O is very upset!"

Gives you giant hugs to help you calm down.

"Gonta will always be here to cheer up S/O!"

Doesn't know how to react.

He always tends to forget how dramatic you are, so he says things without realizing that it may upset you.

“Yeah, some guy tried to fight me earlier today, but-”

Kaito? Someone was trying to hurt your Kaito? But why?!

He frowned as you started to cling onto his jacket. You told him how you regretted not being there for him in his hour of need, and how you were basically the "worst girlfriend ever".

"Hey, S/O! You know I still love you, right?"

You weren't listening as you told him how you understood if he broke up with you.

Rolling his eyes, he grabbed you and kissed you to make you shut up.

"I said, I love you! You're such a drama queen, S/O, I'm fine! It'll take a lot more to faze Kaito Momota!"

[talatomaz]

defenceless | jj x fem!teen!reader

a/n: i’ve been rewatching criminal minds and i can’t believe it’s been a year since i last wrote for jj. and i have no idea where this came from.

(feedback/positive comments are appreciated)

warnings: major references to blood/being stabbed. mentions of assault

word count: 2.7k

masterlist | request list | request rules

r is jj’s 19 year old adopted daughter and gets victimised after stopping an unsub from assaulting someone

i do not give you permission to repost or translate my fics on any platform - likes/reblogs are okay and are much appreciated

“Morning, baby.”

You smiled when your Mum came up behind you and softly kissed your head.

“Morning, Mum. I made you some breakfast.”

You said, pouring coffee into the seasoned profiler’s ‘No.1 Mom’ mug that you’d gotten for her several years ago.

You’d gifted it to her on the first Mother’s Day you had with her after she adopted you. And she used it that morning and every morning since.

“God, what’d I do to deserve a daughter like you?”

JJ said proudly as she dug into her breakfast, happily munching on a piece of toast as she looked through her case file. Whatever dark, horrific crime she and her team were investigating simplified down to a few pages in that brown file.

“Busy day?” You asked, leaning against the kitchen counter, staring across at her.

“You have no idea. I’ve been up for a few hours trying to compile some notes on this case we’re working. Young, relatively low-risk, women are being raped in alleyways and there are no witnesses.”

She explained as she continued to eat whilst scribbling shorthand notes on a notepad.

“Any ideas on who you’re looking for yet?”

She hummed in answer. Swallowing her food, she replied, “Yeah, I think we have a preliminary profile that we want to release to the public later today.”

Pouring the rest of her coffee into a travel cup, she put her files in her bag and placed it on the counter you were resting against.

“You got class today?”

You were studying criminology, wanting to follow in your mother’s footsteps and become a profiler.

Nodding, you answered, “Yeah, then some of my friends and I are gonna head to the mall. And yes, I’ll message you constantly, so you know.”

You added when your mother opened her mouth to presumably ask that very question.

“Thanks, sweetie. Whoever our unsub is, he’s targeting women your age and considering he’s probably here right now, I need to know you’re safe.”

“I know, Mum. Now go, you don’t want to be late for work. Hotch only lets you be late once, you know.” You smirked.

“Yes, I know. Bye, y/n. I love you.” Your mother mirrored your expression and kissed your cheek.

“I love you too.” You replied, handing your Mum her keys and you watched her leave as the white door closed gently behind her.

***

“Maybe just call him out on it and see what he says?”

You suggested to your friend, Kerri, after she explained her boyfriend troubles to you and your other friend, Ally.

“I mean, the worst that could happen is-”

You stopped mid-sentence when you heard a muffled scream. Furrowing your brows, you walked closer to where the sound came from; an alleyway behind an old warehouse.

Remembering your mother’s earlier profile, you whispered to your friends, “Stay behind me.”

“Y/N, what is it?”

“Not sure.”

Inching around the corner, you saw two figures behind a dumpster. The smaller figure, who appeared to be a blonde female, was struggling against the male standing over her.

“Hey! Get away from her!”

Shouting, you ran up to the two and watched as the man’s head whipped around to face you before he darted off, jumping over a fence.

Approaching the woman, you saw she was half naked and had blood seeping from her nose.

“Oh god. Call 911, she’s been assaulted.” You said quickly to your friends who stood behind you, shocked at what they had just witnessed.

Hearing Kerri following your instructions, you took off the jacket you were wearing and wrapped it around the exposed girl.

“H-He tried to r-r-”

Unable to form the words, the girl started to sob at her ordeal.

“I know. It’s okay, honey. What’s your name?” You asked, speaking quietly to try to calm her as if she was a spooked animal.

“A-Annie.” She choked out as she tugged your jacket closer around her.

“Annie, you’re safe now. He can’t hurt you.”

The former began to sob harder and fell against your chest. Wrapping one arm around her, you used the other to take out your phone to call your Mum.

“Shh, it’s okay, Annie. You’re okay.” You said, soothing the distraught girl who was currently crying her heart out against you.

“Hey, y/n, what’s up?”

After quickly explaining what had just transpired, JJ told you and your friends to remain where you were since you were all witnesses and that she’d be there soon.

“You did good, babygirl.”

Morgan said, handing you a cup of coffee.

You were currently sitting at your mother’s desk at the BAU, having already given your statement to both local police and your Mum’s team at the crime scene. Emily and Spencer had driven your friends home whilst you came with your Mum to her work - she refused to leave you alone, even though you’d argued that it was still daylight and you’d be fine.

You didn’t reply, deciding to sip the hot drink, wincing when it burned your tongue.

“He’s right, y/n. Most people probably wouldn’t have heard anything.”

You glanced up at your Mum who stood above you, her hand resting on your shoulder.

“What will happen now? To the unsub, I mean. I interrupted him so he never managed to rape Annie.”

“He’ll probably try to hurt someone else.”

You turned to face Hotch as he approached you and the rest of his team.

“I just got off the phone with the hospital. They’ve discharged Annie into the care of her parents. She wanted me to tell you ‘thank you’.”

“I’m glad she’s okay. Physically anyways. So, you think he’ll get sloppy? Since he never got to...finish, he’s probably going to be antsy right? He might make a mistake?” You asked, hopeful that your Mum would catch him soon.

“More than likely. He’s definitely going to be angry, especially since we’ve just released the profile along with the sketch you helped us with, y/n.” Hotch answered, a gleam of pride in his eyes.

“Anything I could do to help,” you replied.

Standing up, you faced your Mum, “I think I’m going to go home. I’m kind of exhausted.”

“I’ll drive you h-”

“It’s okay,” you interrupted your Mum, “you’re busy here and you’ve got a lot of work to do. Besides, it’s only mid-afternoon so I’ll be fine. I-I just need some air.” You said, your voice faltering when you felt tears forming.

Clearing your throat, you held back your emotions and kissed your Mum on her cheek, “I’ll message you when I get home.”

“Okay, baby. I’m proud of you.”

The tall blonde hugged you close to her which you returned with as much ferocity, her hands stroking your hair as she cradled your head against her.

Bidding your goodbyes to the rest of the team, you left the federal building.

“JJ, you okay?” Morgan asked.

JJ had heard the emotion in your voice and though she was proud to have seen you comforting the most recent victim, it had hurt her heart to see what came after the ambulance drove away with an injured Annie in the back.

Once you’d given your statement and described the unsub to her and her team, she’d followed you to her old vacant office from her media liason days where you’d broken down.

She had watched you hold yourself together by a thread all throughout the questioning but had known that the adrenaline high would crash soon. And you quite literally did crash. In her arms, the moment she had closed the door behind her.

She had fought back her own tears as she gathered you into her arms, soothing you as you did earlier with Annie.

She’d tried as hard as she could to keep you away from her world.

She didn’t want you to be exposed to any more darkness than you’d already experienced when you were younger, before you’d met her.

“JJ?”

The blonde blinked, breaking away from her thoughts to stare back at the rest of the team.

“She did good, JJ.” Morgan repeated as JJ simply nodded, not knowing what to say.

***

Taking out your phone, you sent a message to your group chat with Kerri and Ally, wanting to make sure they were okay.

After receiving replies from the both of them confirming that they were fine and just a bit shaken up, you placed your phone back in your pocket.

Sighing, you continued walking down the relatively empty street; the majority of people either at work or school, unaware of what had happened just a few hours earlier.

You thought about Annie and later crying in your Mum’s arms. You didn’t even know why you did. Spencer probably would have given you some fact about adrenaline crashes but you shook your head, feeling self-conscious.

There was no need for you to break down like that.

All it achieved was your Mum being worried about you which was the last thing you wanted because it meant she’d be distracted from doing her job. Catching this asshole.

Hands in your pockets, you felt the bright sun shine down on your face.

Stopping for a brief moment, you glanced up at the sky, and allowed yourself to breathe.

As you were about to carry on walking, you felt a harsh grip on your arm pull you into an abandoned parking lot.

You thrashed against the strong hold, the self-defence skills your Mum taught you kicking in.

Stomping on the large figure’s foot, you smirked at the grunt of pain that fell from his lips. Then you elbowed them in their stomach and threw your head back into theirs. Hearing more shouts of pain, you started to run before you were roughly pushed against a brick wall.

Your breaths came out in heavy pants and your eyes widened as you stared into familiar eyes.

It was the unsub.

He held himself tight against you, pulling a switchblade from his pocket and into your view. Your eyes flickered from the sharp blade to his eyes. They were filled with fury as blood dripped from his nose - from when you’d head butted him.

“Good. So you recognise me.” His voice was hoarse, as if he’d swallowed a bunch of nails.

“What do you want?” You spat out, refusing to show any indication of fear to him.

“You ruined the other girl for me. But you seem like a challenge. I like that.”

Pressing the knife against your neck, he used his free hand to undo his belt.

You barely controlled the terror that threatened to rise through your body. Instead, you tried to focus on the pressure of his weapon, waiting for a slight reprieve where you could make your move to escape.

That moment came when he unzipped his trousers.

The pressure lightened for a few seconds which was all you needed.

Grabbing his wrist, you twisted the knife away from you and kneed him in the groin. Pushing him away, you stumbled, trying to escape.

But he was quick on his feet.

He swiftly picked up the knife that had fallen to the floor and thrust it into your stomach.

You groaned, the pain unlike anything you had ever experienced before. Your hand instinctively went to your stomach as blood started to coat your clothing.

You slumped down the wall as the unsub crouched down, sneering at you, “Bitch.”

Tapping the ground behind you, you felt a piece of broken glass in your fingers. Gripping it tightly, you gathered all your strength and plunged it into his neck.

He yelled out, his hand going to the glass that was still in his flesh.

Recognising what he was about to do, you clambered to your feet and watched as he pulled the shard, of what appeared to be from a broken beer bottle, out of his skin. Blood splatted all over the wall that you had been against, just moments before.

Blood continued to seep out from your wound.

You took off your jacket - the one you had previously wrapped around Annie - and pressed it against your skin. You groaned at the white hot pain that seared through your skin.

Knowing you were only down the street from the Quantico building, you took out your phone and called your Mum as you walked, as well as you could in your condition, back to the federal building.

“You home already?”

“M-Mum, c-come outside. I-I need you.” You choked out, trying to steady your breathing.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

You could hear her shouting to the rest of her team before she continued to talk into the phone.

You made it to the entrance of the federal building but you were too overcome with exhaustion and you felt yourself drop to the floor.

You could hear shouts from the people around you as they watched blood pool around you.

“Oh my god. Y/N!”

You heard your Mum yell as she fell to your side, pressing her hands heavily against your wound.

You barely heard as Hotch called 911, stating his name and rank and urged for an ambulance to be sent immediately.

You struggled to keep your eyes open as you looked up at your Mum.

“Come on, baby. Stay awake for me.” JJ begged, tears carelessly running down her face.

“It hurts, Mum.”

“I know, baby. I know. But you’re strong. Stay with me. How’d this happen?”

JJ knew the only way to keep you awake was to continue talking so your brain could still remain active.

“H-He’s dead. He attacked me. I-In a car park. Down there.”

You weakly raised your hand and pointed towards the direction you had come from.

“Good girl. Just stay with me. You’re going to be okay. Y/N? Y/N!”

JJ screamed when she watched your eyes flutter closed as you lost consciousness.

***

“Woah, y/n. It’s just me.”

JJ said quickly when you jumped as she came up behind you to kiss your head.

It had been a few weeks since you’d been stabbed.

You’d woken up in a hospital, hooked up to all sorts of machines monitoring your heart rate. Your eyes had fallen on your mother who, once she saw you were awake, started to cry and hug you close to her. That then made you start crying and the two of you were just a pile of tears as you clung to each other.

After the tears had stopped and the doctors had checked up on you, JJ had told you that they’d found the unsub in a parking lot a few blocks from the BAU.

A couple of days after, you’d been discharged from the hospital. Your mother had stayed by your side up until this week when you had urged her to go back to work.

That had led you to now. She’d just arrived home from work and you hated that you were still on edge after your attack, despite your Mum telling you it was normal.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, honey.” JJ said softly as she came to sit beside you on the sofa.

You both sat in silence for a few moments before you spoke, your voice coming out in a whisper.

“I’m scared, Mum.”

You felt her eyes on you as she spoke, “Scared? He’s dead, y/n. He can’t hurt you.”

“I know, I just-In that moment when I fought him, I was so defenceless. And I’m scared of what will happen the next time I can’t defend myself.”

You continued, tears welling in your eyes as you stared ahead, unable to face your mother.

“Y/N,” JJ gently turned your face so she could look into your eyes.

“Am I defenceless?”

You blinked, having not expected that question. “What? No.”

“Exactly. I’m not. But I felt like it after I was kidnapped and tortured a few years ago. It’s normal to feel like that, y/n. But it’ll pass. I can promise you that.”

“It’s like I can feel him stabbing me over and over again.” You choked out, failing to force your tears back down.

“Oh, baby.”

JJ gently pulled you to her as she wrapped her arms around your body. She cradled your head against her chest as you clung to her arms, now sobbing.

“I got you, y/n. You’re safe. I got you.” She repeated, soothing you as you continued to cry.

Still hugging you against her, she kissed your head,

“As long as you have me, you’ll never be defenceless.”

[castiologist]

Little prologue for my “What if Cas rebelled and fell as a baby like Anna did decades before the start of the show and was found and adopted by one Ellen Harvelle?” AU. Read on AO3 here.

Ellen Harvelle isn’t sure what she was expecting when she saw the pillar of light flare up into the sky and and decided to track it down, but it wasn’t this.

They’d been on a hunt, and Bill was already passed out on the motel bed when she saw it out of the window. She’d considered waking him, but he’d been up earlier than her and he was always grumpy when he didn’t get enough sleep and besides, she was a twenty-one year old fully grown hunter woman. She could investigate a light show without her husband.

She’d driven around for a while when she heard it, coming from a field. The sound of a baby crying. The grass, mottled as it was with scorch marks, was enough to show her that this was probably where the light came from. But a baby? Was this some kind of trap?

She was uneasy but had gotten out of the car anyway, patting the numerous weapons tucked under her jacket for reassurance. But no assailant has jumped out of the darkness, no shadow had turned into a pack of vampires. And now she’s here, staring down into the face of what is undeniably (yes, she did the checks although she winced at it) a real human baby. Naked and red and screaming as he flails his tiny limbs around on the blackened grass.

She pulls her jacket off, but the material is rough and probably dirty from the hunt so she peels off the thin sweater she’s wearing under as well and tries to swaddle him as best as she remembers from watching her aunt with her younger cousins. She never held them at this age though, so tiny and fragile and like he might break if she puts a finger wrong, so her hands are trembling slightly as she picks him up and brings him to her chest and attempts to soothe his crying.

“So what happened to you, huh?” she murmurs to him when the rocking and humming have finally quietened him down and she’s watching his face wrinkle as he stares back up at her “Do you remember? What happened here, what happened to your mommy?”

(She couldn’t know, of course, that he’s not remembering at all. He is, in fact, forgetting, just as he’s forgotten a thousand times and a thousand rebellions before. Except this time, those memories are pouring out of a slit made by his own blade rather than drilled out by some more complex heavenly machine. This time, the only thing restraining him is the soft wool of the jumper wrapped around him.)

“Guess you couldn’t tell me even if you wanted to,” she says softly, running a hand down the side of his head. She looks into his eyes — so deep, so big, even for a baby — and gets lost there for a second as they stare at each other. Then, as if from out of nowhere, it’s like his eyes are glowing and there’s a word in her head that she’s sure she didn’t put there; that she’s sure she’s never heard before. No, not a word — more like… a name?

(“Cassius?” her husband will ask later with a hint of scepticism at the name — so different from the usual sensible, down to earth tastes of his wife. “You’re sure? Where did that come from, anyway?”

And she’ll just shrug and say she read it once in a book — and that when she held him for the first time, looked at him, the name just came into her head and felt right. The former is actually true; she will never tell him the truth about the latter part. The real name that came into her head when she stared into his eyes and felt him looking back at her with luminescent eyes as if trying to tell her something. How it struck into her mind like lightning; how in the flash she felt something so ancient and powerful and completely beyond her comprehension that once the fraction of a moment passed it was hard to believe she’d felt it at all.)

She’s scared, for a second, but then his eyes are normal again and he gives a yawn and starts to doze off in her arms and she sets her mind to working out a plan. Because clearly there was something not right here, but this was a baby all the same, that needed a good home if his birth family couldn’t be located. And if something weird happened today, who’s to say it couldn’t happen again? It didn’t seem sensible to leave some normal, unprepared adoptive family to deal with that. And sure, maybe there were other hunter families who would take him in, but as she felt his warm weight in her arms she realised she couldn’t bear to let it go. And they were young, she and Bill, but they were married and they had the inheritance money and they’d been talking about having their own kids sometime soon.

She looks back down into the baby’s sleeping face. Peaceful, cherubic, a world away from his earlier screams.

“Well, kid,” she murmurs, “Looks like you might be stuck with me.”

Notes:

According to internet sources Ellen was actually born in ‘68 but for the purposes of this AU she was born in 1960.

I am already obsessed with Cassius Harvelle and the idea of Jo and Cas as siblings. I have a rough plot in mind but because this story takes place over many years and also overlaps with canon a lot, it’s going to be posted as a few different short fics rather than one long one (although I may combine them into one long cohesive story some day). One fic will focus on Dean and Cas’ relationship from when they meet in S2 through to S3, and then another will be about the alternate events of S4 onwards, and I may also do some other snippets from Cas & Jo’s childhood. Anyway, I’m SO excited about this AU so please come and talk to me about it! Also please lmk if you would like to be on the tag list for this series!

[wastelandcth]

Love Again - cth

sad disco - part one

summary: used to be afraid of love and what it might do but goddamn, you got me in love again. 

author’s notes: thanks again for your patience on this one! based on love again - dua lipa!

warnings: mentions of sexual themes, mentions of food, angst. 

masterlist || request ||  join my taglist!

Sometimes, Calum's heart beat so loud that he was sure the entire world could hear it. He felt the pounding in his chest, left breathless by the sheer power of the muscle that kept his blood pumping. Sometimes, Calum thought that his heart had simply forced itself into hiding, protecting Calum from any more hurt and heartbreak. Those were the times where the pounding was dull and ached, almost as if the one thing keeping him alive was the reason for him shutting down. He liked to think that's who he could blame now, his heart for wanting to protect him from another heartbreak. 

But no, Calum had done that on his own. 

Calum had barely left his house. Ever since that night when he'd been a fool and let you go, he had decided that hiding away in his house was his best course of action. He had hated the way the tears in your eyes fell down onto Ashton's shoulder. More so, he hated the fact that he was the reason for those tears. He hadn't known the true reason until early the next morning when his pounding headache and the blaring phone had woken him up. He'd winced through Ashton's explanation of the night's events after Calum had been left alone in a club, wishing that he could just erase the night and never had it have happened. 

"She's....she's really hurt man, you should really talk to her," Ashton sighed, the man sounding way too awake and not hungover like Calum was, "You both need to tell each other the truth."

"I doubt she wants to talk to me," Calum sighed, "I'm going to give her some space."

"Cal-" Ashton started, a sigh evident in his voice as Calum interrupted him.

"Thanks for taking care of her, Ash."

You weren't sure where things had gone wrong. You'd never been one to cry over useless drama or men, especially not when those men were nothing but a friend to you. But life had a funny way of throwing curveballs at you and you'd found yourself stuck on your living room couch most days, staring up at the ceiling to try and stop the tears. Those pesky tears that fell no matter how many times you tried to convince yourself that you were stronger than this and that a man was not worth your tears, especially one who had technically done nothing wrong. Sure, Calum had been single, he'd been allowed to dance with whoever he wanted to because he was an adult and that was his business. But Calum had never wanted to dance with you. 

It had been two weeks since that night, where you shamelessly cried to Ashton as the city lights passed by the two of you, two weeks since Calum and you hadn't spoken. Before, when things were nice and friendly, you two couldn't go a day without talking. Text messages, phone calls, and airdrops were common occurrences between the two of you so the radio silence was killing you. The number of times a funny picture or tiktok reminded you of him, the urge to send it to Calum forcing you to push more tears down, had been too many in the past couple of days. You'd even cut off nights out with your friends, fearing that Calum would be there and you'd be forced to talk about that night. It hurt, even more, knowing that the thought of going out again to that club wouldn't be the same, that dancing would never feel the same. All because of a stupid man with an addicting smile and humor to match your own. 

Calum had been hesitant about Ashton's proposal. He was used to having nights out together, getting dinner, and then going back to his place to watch a movie or play video games until the mind-numbing hours in the morning. But Calum hadn't left his house in weeks and he knew this was Ashton's way to tell him to get his shit together and get over himself. He knew that this game night was just another way for Ashton to knock some sense into him, a way for Calum to maybe score some free food and booze and pretend to listen to his friend tell him to get his head out of his ass. So without another thought, Calum grabbed his jacket and made his way to Ashton’s house.

Ashton had promised you that the movie night would consist of watching shitty romcoms, eating ice cream, and having way too many fries from McDonald’s. You’d been wary about the night out, knowing that Ashton had been trying to get you out of your living room for days on end, but you knew that he had been trying his best to make you feel better. A night out was what you needed, the lack of socialization and the promise of ice cream the pushing force to get you into your car and driving towards Ashton’s house. As you pulled into the driveway, you saw Ashton standing outside, waving over at you and grinning.

“You made it! Come inside,” Ashton cheered as you got out of the car, leading you into the comfort of his home, “The pizza should be here soon.”

Walking into the living room, you froze as you saw a familiar head of curly hair sitting on Ashton's couch. Calum, who was way too focused on the video game in front of him, looked just as breathtaking as he always looked. His messy curls were splayed across his forehead, his shoulders tense as he took a sharp turn on the race he was in. He looked so beautiful and all the sadness from the past weeks disappeared the second you heard him laugh. But the familiar sound of a car leaving a driveway made your shoulders and your breath hitch when Calum's head turn and his eyes met yours. 

"Oh..." Calum breathed out, his eyes widening as he set the controller down, the screen behind him coming to a still, much like the air between you both. 

"Hey you two, it's Ashton," Ashton's voice rang out from a speaker, "Please don't hate me but we all know this was meant to happen and it's been weeks so...." he chuckled nervously, "You both have feelings for one another and I'm not going to let you through that away. So, I'm leaving you two alone and I just hope you guys don't fuck on my bed." 

You both stood in silence, listening to Ashton's words echoed in your heads as you both stared at one another. Calum's eyes watched as you slowly walked towards the couch, watched as your hands cupped the side of his face, and pulled him into a kiss. The kiss made you both gasp into each other's mouth, made you both finally jump across that thin line you both had danced around for countless nights and countless days. It was the scissors that finally snipped the string that had strung between them. The kiss was all the words that neither of them could say. 

The door to Ashton's guest room was pushed open, the darkness of the room hiding both of you. The bed was creaking, every thrust and every rock of hips met with the sound of skin meeting. Calum's silver chain was hanging above you, brushing against your chest with every thrust of his hips, the cold metal a relief from the heat that spurred between you both. Your hand found Calum's arm in the dark, trailing down his forearm until your fingers wrapped around his wrist and brought it up to your neck. 

"Fuck, baby," Calum breathed out, his ring-clad fingers wrapping around the base of your throat.

As the mattress underneath you both rocked and the headboard bumped into the wall behind you, you felt closer and closer to Calum. You felt the passion through every rock of his hips, through every grunt and breathy sigh that left him. It was all the passion and unsaid words that had gone unspoken between the two of you for months. And when the high came crashing down upon you both, when the moans echoed through the room and hips stilled, you knew that you'd found the one who made your heart race again. 

"I'm sorry," Calum mumbled and sighed quietly, "I...I should've called earlier and tried to fix this, I just...I don't even know," he sighed and shook his head as his fingers traced soft circles onto your hip.

"No, I was just, I never even thought you could ever have feelings for me and I hurt my own feelings," you mumbled and frowned, "I pushed you away and I can't even begin to apologize."

"I think we were both just...scared?" he sighed and shrugged, "Afraid of whatever we were headed towards."

"I was afraid to lose you," you whispered, "Afraid that I had lost you that night when I saw you dancing with her."

"I wanted to show you I could dance," he chuckled quietly and bit his lip, "I saw you dancing with that guy and I...I don't know I thought I could make you jealous enough to have you dance with me." 

"You could've just asked," you whispered and shook your head, "I'd always dance with you."

And in a way, Calum knew that meant that you loved him too.

Your soft breaths hit Calum's neck, the soft puffs of air leaving him in disbelief that you were actually laying next to him. The past few weeks had left him wondering if he'd ever get to see you again, to be next to you. But the night had changed in such a quick instant that Calum had forgotten he was in Ashton's house for a second.  He'd gone from playing video games on his best friend's couch to sleeping with the love of his life, finally telling you the truth about how he felt. He'd gone from being someone who tried to run away from love, run away from being open, to let himself be vulnerable in front of someone who he'd hurt. He wasn't afraid of letting his feelings be known any more and even if it felt surreal in that bed where you slept next to him, he could believe that he was in love with you. 

All he had to do now was take you out dancing

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[itsthestutterforme]

The Real Ending (Jang Hanseo)

Summary: Hanseo sends Y/N away so she is safe from Hanseok's antics. Soon after, Vincenzo helps fake his death so they both could be free.

Characters: Cha young x reader (platonic), Vincenzo x reader (platonic), Jang Hanseo x reader (romantic), Jang Hanseok x reader (abusive relationship)

--

Waiting for Hanseo to get home, you turn on the light in the bathroom and purposely avoid the mirror. From the way your entire head is pounding, you could tell that Hanseok did a number on your face.

You knew it was bad, you didn't bother wanting to look. Soft sobs erupted from your chest and you sat on the floor to hug your knees to your chest. Hearing the door open, you croak, "Hanseo." He yells out in surprise before following your voice to the bathroom.

"You scared the hell out of- oh my God," he says when he sees my face. "Y/N, "I'm going to kill him," Hanseo says, ghosting a finger over your swollen cheek from Hanseok hitting you. "What was his excuse this time?"

"He had a bad day at work," you say with a shrug. His jaw clenches with anger and you add, "Am I hard to love?" "What would make you say something like that?" He says, sitting down next to you.

"Every relationship that I've ever had, romantic or not, were abusive one way or another. It makes me wonder if I deserve it." You explain as more tears escape your eyes.

"Honestly, that thought crossed my mind once or twice about myself. The only one that treats me good is you and you're just as broken as I am." He states with a sigh. You lean on your side and wrap your arms around him.

He holds the back of your head and wraps an arm around your waist. "I ordered you a plane ticket," "What?" You say, pulling away from him. "No, I'm not leaving you here. He'll kill you if he found out you helped me leave."

He silences you by cupping the sides of your face and gently touching your cheeks with his thumbs. Holding on to his wrists, you add, "You can't die. Not for me." "You're worth dying for," he says to you. You shake your head and tried to pull away from him, but he didn't budge.

That's when you knew he was serious. "I'm not leaving you." You state. "How many of these can you endure Y/N? It's getting worse. He's spiralling because of Vincenzo. He will kill you." "Then at least i don't have to suffer anymore." His grip on your face softens and you stand up from the floor to leave.

"Just think about it, please." He calls after you. You stop for a moment and look over your shoulder at him. You didn't say a word before leaving the house.

Slowly opening the door to Jang Hanseok's apartment, you heard his laughter in the other room. He must be on the phone with Ms. Choi again.

You walk upstairs and strip off your clothes to take your shower, careful not to apply pressure to your bruises along your chest cavity. You jump when you hear him say, "Where have you been?" "I.. went for a walk," you say softly, avoiding eye contact with him.

He hisses when his eyes scan the bruises he made on you. "I should be taking it easy on you. I'm sorry, honey, you don't deserve this." He says, nearing. He walks you against the sink and you place your hands on his chest to push him away.

"Look at me," he whispers and you slowly met his gaze. You really did love him, once... You met him and Hanseo in junior high and Hanseok wasn't a bad kid. It wasn't until he went to college in the States that he came back controlling and manipulative.

It wasn't long after that he started hitting you. You were aware that you were crying until he brushes away your tears with his thumb. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

**

You woke up earlier than Hanseok and you were very careful not to wake him. He is not a morning person at all. He spent the night kissing you and giving you massages.

You guys watched your favorite movies and eat your favorite food. Something he does every so often when he thinks you're distancing yourself from him.

You went downstairs to get something to drink when you heard heavy footsteps beside you. A hand clamped over your mouth before you could yell out and a there was a sharp pinch on the side of you neck.

Jolting yourself awake, you immediately look around the room to see a foreign environment. Your neck throbs and you gently touch the injection area to find a small, sensitive bump. Where the hell are you?

You slowly get out of bed and advance towards the door. Swinging it open, unsure of what you would find, you walk down the hallway that led to an empty living room. There was a note on the table that read, "This was the only way. I'm sorry. -Jang Hanseo."

"No," you say, sitting on the couch with your face in your hands.

Turns out, Hanseo sent you to Ireland. You haven't been in contact with him since because he didn't want Hanseok to trace you and find you. You both hated and loved Hanseo for risking his life to save you.

Within the first few weeks, you were comfortable enough to go outside and roam the city. You've always been vigilant, borderline paranoid of disappointing Hanseok and suffering the consequences.

It wasn't until you got the call from Vincenzo that your good luck ended. "He's dead, Y/N. He killed him." The words sliced through your heart like butter. "I'm getting the first plane ticket there."

"No, that is not what he would have wanted." "You wouldn't know what he would have wanted!" You snap, instantly regretting it.

"I have to see him. We haven't spoken since he sent me here." "I'll pick you up when you arrive." You spent the entire plane ride looking out the window, daydreaming of what your life could have been if you were with Hanseo.

You imagine late night walks and coffee dates, beach days and sporadic spicy foods nights you would have been happy. The potential you guys had made your heart warm. You just hated how you never gave it a chance all because of the fear of what Hanseok would do to you both.

You approach Vincenzo and he walks you to his car. Tossing your bag in the back seat, you freeze when see Hanseo's jacket. You take it in your hands and ask, "What is this doing here?" "He left it at my apartment. I brought it here to bring it back to him, but.." he trails off and you nod.

You bring it with you in the front seat and lay it across your lap. "He loved you more than you could imagine. He was determined to get you out." "I.. I really wanted him to come with me." He takes your hand into his, which surprised you because neither of you were the affectionate type.

But it was nice to be consoled for once. He pulled up to the hospital and you follow him down the halls to the morgue. Two morticians were in the room, one had a chart and the other pulled out a slate with Hanseo's body on it.

It took you a while for your mind to process what you were seeing. A man you loved was lifeless on a slab. But when it finally set in, your blood ran cold in your veins. With his jacket still in your hands, you reach out and wince when your hand comes into contact with his cold forehead.

"How.. was he in pain when he died?" You asked Vincenzo. A sob left your mouth when he chose not to answer. That was all the answer you needed. You fell to the ground and Vincenzo followed you. "He was suppose to come with me," you croak.

"I know," he says, holding you softly. "Why couldn't it have been me?" You bury your face into Vincenzo's chest, and from that day forward, you were a mess. You've always been on the brink of depression but this has sent you over the edge.

The only reason why you even got up this morning was because Hanseo's lawyer told Vincenzo that he needed to meet with you discussing his will. He left you everything. His pent houses, his villas and all of his bank accounts.

A hand gently touched you shoulder, taking you out of your trace. "Huh?" You turn to see it was Cha young. "How are you holding up?" She asks. "He left me everything," "Like everything," "Everything," you say with a nod. "But it doesn't feel right," you add.

"He would want you to be happy, no matter what form that takes." Vincenzo says. "I told you she would come back," a familiar voice says, making you freeze. You spin around to see Hanseo standing next to Vincenzo right before your eyes.

"What the.. how is this possible?" "He's in the Mafia, Y/N, what can't he do?" You jump up from the chair and rush into his arms, nearly knocking him over. "I'm sorry, but that was the only way we cou-" Hanseo tries to explain.

"Shh, stop talking." You interrupted as you tightened his grip on him, not caring if you heard a faint crank.

**

Third Person POV

Cha young approaches Mr. Nam when she notices him smiling down at something in his hands. "What is it?" She asks. Mr. Nam shows her the invitation that read: You've been invited to the wedding of Jang Hanseo and Y/L/N Y/F/N taking place on June 14, 2021 at the Gracehall, Craigavon, United Kingdom."

[sallyf4ce]

wolves

chapter III

-> sallyfacexf!reader

-> enemies? to lovers

-> previous | next

cw: drugs, cigarettes, abuse, violence

*does not follow original plot of sally face*

summary: (y/n) wakes up early to avoid sally. sally’s upset that he did something wrong yesterday. (y/n)’s first meeting with travis isn’t the nicest.

The incessant beeping of your alarm tugs you out of your dreamless sleep.

The sticky tears on the ground remind you of yesterday’s events, but you disregard them. All you want to do is take a shower, throw on your jacket and get out the door. You slowly clamber up off the ground and across the living room to turn off the alarm. After making sure it’s not on snooze, you drag your sore body to the shower. It smells like smoke and lots of cleaning supplies. This place is fucking gross. Is it even monday?’ you check the calendar. It is, in fact, monday. You strip and turn the shower handle.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

You're so glad that you chose to wake up early. Usually kids this far from school drive or get picked up by the bus, but you prefer to use your skateboard. That’s why you get up at 6:30, so you have enough time to get ready and get to school on time. Sanity’s fall quietly played as you washed your breakfast plate and cup, brushing grease residue off the greyish porcelain. You wonder if Sal is awake yet. Probably not. You know, waking up early ensures that you won't see him in the morning. The guy’s not that bad, his eyes just freak you out a little.

Pulling the pink glove off your prosthetic, you wipe your hands with a towel and move to the closet to put your shoes on.

“Jacket, jacket, jacket, jacket.” you mumble, eyebrows knitted. “Where are you?” oh, right, you left it in your room.. With poppy. Was that even her name? You kind of just decided it for her.

Alright, don't be a pussy. Just go in and grab the jacket. You sucked in a breath and opened the door to your room.

“Eeh! A teenager! What’s your name, little lady?” her blond ponytail bounced with every sentence. This was the first time you could get a good look at her. She didn't really have feet, just bloody stumps where they used to be.

“Holy fuck, you’re so loud!” your hands covered your ears.

“Ahh, so sorry! I haven't used my voice in years.” she coughs.

“S’ fine... Can I just- just grab my jacket?” you point at the green pile amidst the boxes all around the room. You didn't get a chance to set up.

“Go ahead!” she nods and smiles.

“Alright. uh, listen, lady. This-” you motion towards the whole room. “Is my room. I live here now. I get that you, like, can't leave this place and shit, but could you maybe sit quietly while i set up later? I really need to clean my room up. I’ll set up a little chair place for you or whatever, so you could sleep at night.” you mumble the last part, embarrassed about your hospitality.

“I can’t sleep.” she smiles, her teeth surprisingly shiny for a ghost’s. God, she’s so preppy that you forgot she’s dead.

“Pretend to then, i dont fucking know. Alright, i have to go. Just… don't cause trouble.” grabbing the jacket, you begin shutting the door. “My name’s (y/n), by the way.”

You can hear her squeals as you leave the apartment. You decide to take the elevator because you don't feel like running down the stairs with a heavy ass bag on your back.. Stepping in, you press the main floor button. It looks like there’s a bit of sticky stuff around it. gross. Syrup? You hoped so.

The elevator dings and you step out, heading out the front doors. It’s cloudy. Again. Not a surprise, really. Keeping your eyes on the gravel, you set down your skateboard and begin your journey to school.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sal’s point of view:

“She probably went on without us, man. Don’t know why you're worrying so much.'' Larry leaned back into the bus seat.

“It’s not that, Larry face. Yesterday, when we left…” was it my fault? Did i scare her? Did she see my face through the mask? Fuck.

“What is it? Spit it out, sally dude.” he pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and puffed the smoke out the window.

“I think i scared her, larry. I think she saw my face.” i let out a shaky breath. God, everything was going good. Why the fuck does this stupid face ruin everything?

“Did you- did you take your mask off?” he sat up in the seat, eyes wide.

“No. She probably saw it through my mask.”

“I still dont get it. Explain more, dude.”

“She looked so scared. We made eye contact, and she, like, panicked. Her eyes widened and then she threw me out. It was definitely my eyes. We were fine the whole night, i dont know why she freaked out.”

Larry let out a long hum. He was probably trying to piece things together. Anyway, she definitely went to school earlier than us. I can ask her about it there.

“Woah, sally face. Calm down or you’ll go bald.” larry’s hands pulled mine off my pigtails. Huh, i didnt even notice.

“Thanks, dude. I think we’re here.”

Your point of view:

It was around eight o’clock by the time you arrived. Kids were already piling out of buses and cars, standing by the school’s entrance and conversing with their friends. You definitely felt some eyes on you. That was expected, though. They didnt recognize you, and nockfell didnt seem like a town with many new people. Thinking back to yesterday, sal and larry mentioned some bully kid. Probably wouldnt be hard to spot him.

“Watch it, goth freak!” a pair of hands gripped onto your shoulders.

Ah, what a coincidence.

“Get the fuck off me, fucking prick.” he twitched as you gripped onto his hands and pushed him away.

“Is that a metal hand? Ha, you’re a fucking cripple! How pathetic.” he chuckled. Blond hair draped itself across his forehead, definitely not complimenting the purple shade of his shirt and eye. School fight? or daddy issues? Who knows. I mean, you’re not one to speak, your dad’s literally dead.

“Let me guess, you’re that bully fucker they talked about. God, isnt there enough troubled kids in Nockfell?” you rolled your eyes, just wanting to get to school.

When you said you had bad luck, you really meant it, because all of a sudden, his fist landed on your face.

Are you fucking serious?

You just moved here yesterday and you’ve already been fucked up twice. You can’t keep taking hits, (y/n)! You gotta dish some out!

Sighing in disbelief, you reached out to your gushing nose.

“Mother.” you flicked the blood off your prosthetic hand. “Fucker.”

At this, travis bolts. You drop your bag and get back on your skateboard, weaving through the crowd to get to that shrimpy little fuck.

“I’m so fucking done with nockfell.” blood trails down the side of your face as you lock your eyes on the blond mop of hair in front of you.

Do you jump? Or let him get away?

Nah, you jump.

The skateboard shoots out beneath you as you kick off. He lets out a strangled cry as you land on his back and send him to the concrete. A few whoops can be heard from the kids far behind you.

“Fuck, i’m sorry! Get off me!” he scrambles beneath you.

“Now you’re fucking sorry?”

He doesnt say anything. You slowly climb off, keeping a hand on his neck.

“Pussy.” a snicker escapes you.

“What’d you just-” the hand on his neck squeezes tighter and shuts him up.

“What’s your name again?”

“Tr-travis, fuck.”

“Travis, huh? Well, travis-”

“(Y/n)? What are you doing on Travis?”

Sal’s point of view:

Me and larry were getting off the bus when we heard a bunch of cheering. Weird. I looked in the direction larry was staring. Hold on, that’s travis and some other kid on top of him.

“Sally face! I think that’s fucking (Y/n)! Holy shit!” larry shakes my shoulder. That’s actually her! What is she doing on travis?

“Larry, c’mon, we have to go get her off!” i try pulling him away, but he doesnt budge.

“No way, man! I wanna see her beat him up! She’s doing what you won’t let me do!” he smiles wide. Fuck, i guess i’ll just have to go alone. Larry frowns as i drop my bag and begin running towards them. I’m not letting her get in trouble on the first day. I hear her say something to him as i come closer.

“(Y/n)? What are you doing on travis?”

She looks up in surprise. Holy shit, she’s bleeding!

“I’ve gotten fucked up twice in the past 24 hours. I’m not letting this fuck get away with it.” She snarls. As bad as i feel, she’s kind of attractive, bloody and feral like that. God, what the fuck? Not time for this, sal.

“Oh my god, (y/n)! Here, uh, get up and i’ll take you to the office.”

Your point of view:

You look back at travis. There’s a visible blush on his face, and he’s staring straight at sally.

Oh.

OH.

A smirk forms on your face.

“No thanks, porcelain face. Me and blondie here will go by ourselves. Right?”

He growls, but you tighten your grip on his neck again and he nods.

“Uh, okay. Do you want me to take your skateboard or something?” Sal scratches his head and changes the topic. Just a sliver of jealousy can be found in him, but he is grateful for the nickname. It suits him.

Your expression darkens for a second, all of a sudden feeling possessive of your skateboard. He’s not touching it. It was your dad’s.

“No. Take my bag or something.” you nod towards it by the entrance of the school, where it sits. He obeys and gets up to pick up your bag. You pull travis up with you, blood dripping down your shirt and an arm around his shoulders. Sal’s quite a bit away at this point.

“You gay?” you hum. Travis’s back straightens and fear flashes through his eyes. How did you know? How the fuck did you know?

“No! Fuck you, you’re just a pussy who thinks she knows everything-” he starts yelling, trying to get away, but you interrupt him.

“God, shut up. You’re making my head hurt more. It’s okay, you know. I wont fucking tell anyone about your little self exploration journey.” you pat him on the back and he flushes.

“Fuck, you’re so sappy it’s disgusting.”

“I’m not gonna be a dick to someone because of their sexuality, fuckass. I’m not that low. Let’s get to the school.”

taglist: @dream-of-eros @potatochic2003 @mr-bombastic @purelydarling @ghostfacefricker6969 @deadpoetsandhoney

[suchalonelysunflower]

Tell Me a Lie (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood X Fem!Reader

Requested: Kinda yes!

Summary: Part 2 of Tell Me What You’re Thinking. The aftermath of the dreadful night that left two broken hearts along the way. Could they ever fic it?

Warnings: ANGST. Language, mentions of drugs and alcohol, mentions of cheating. Some grammar mistakes (I’m sorry, English is not my first language)

Word count: 5.8k

Author’s note: Holy! I never thought I would end up writing a part 2 of this, but I’m so glad so many of you requested it and supported it 🥺❤️ thank you so so so much. As you know: Reblogs, Coments, Feedbacks and likes are more than welcomed and encouraged! I’d love to hear from you guys and I can’t wait to see how you react to this and the question: if you were on the readers shoes, would you forgive him? Thank you so much, hope you like it and Happy Reading ✨🦋🌻

Part 1

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

Calum stopped laughing at Mitchy a long time ago, but he didn’t seem to notice. Frankly, he was regretting his decision on inviting the singer today, knowing that he was completely high even before he got to the house.

He secretly envided Ashton who got away a few moments earlier, he couldn’t blame him at all as he wondered what he was doing in his kitchen and if he should go to make him company and leave Mitchy alone in his own world, not that he would notice either way.

But just before he decided to get up and leave, just like he could read his thoughts, Ashton walked into the living room. A feeling of relief washed over Calum as he saw his best friend approach, hoping that he could spare him some actual good conversations, but the drummer seemed too busy as he grabbed his phone from the coffee table and stepped outside to make a call, entering the house a few moments later to grab his jacket and his keys.

“Where are you going Ash?” Calum asked, almost begging him to stay and not leave him alone with Mitchy.

But Ashton didn’t spare a glance at him as he muttered through gritted teeth “I’m leaving”

Calum was confused by his friend's attitude, not knowing what caused his strange behavior. But before he could ask him, Mitchy beat him to it “Aw man! We are just going to the club to meet some hot chicks! You should come with us!”

And that was the last straw Ashton needed to unleash the rage behind his eyes, the same rage he was holding all night as he watched you cry in the kitchen a few minutes ago.

Calum watched as Ashton’s face completely disfigured itself as he started yelling.

“You are both such assholes!” He said, looking between Mitchy and Calum, making the latter one jump in his seat at the sudden outburst “Do you even realize what you did? You just made the most amazing person on this planet feel like shit cause you can’t keep your comments to yourselves!” He looked at Mitchy “You don’t know a single fucking shit about her to talk about her like that. If you knew her you’d know that Y/N is amazing the way she is and you should be ashamed of yourself for disrespecting such an incredible woman like that!” Then he looked at Calum, who looked like he’d just seen a ghost “And you… I’m so disappointed in you. I can’t even look at you right now. You were really going to cheat on her? Are you really that stupid to lose her like that?! To lose her at all?! Do you know how incredibly lucky and incredibly stupid you are?! I am disgusted with both of you. And Y/N doesn’t deserve to cry for such man babies who’d talk about her behind her back”

At the sound of your name, Calum’s world fell at his feet. Did you know what Mitchy and him talked about? That wasn’t what he meant!

“Y-Y/N-“ He said, gripping the edge of his seat. Ashton just looked at him with pity “She heard it all”

That was almost three months ago. Three months since he watched the love of his life walk away from him and leave him alone. Three months since Ashton had said a full sentence to him that wasn’t filled with utter disappointment. Three months since he cut ties with Mitchy, claiming that he never wanted to see the singer again and that he should not try to contact him or any of the boys again. Three months where every night he comes to an empty house, hoping that it was all a bad dream and that he’ll find you in the kitchen studying for your next test or waiting for him with a glass of wine just to talk and share a moment with him. But now you won’t even spare him a glance.

He knew he couldn’t blame you. That is the last thing on his mind when he thinks about that night and all that led to it. More often than not he would find himself turning and tossing on his bed, unable to sleep. The memory of your tear filled eyes and the echoing sound of your voice take over him as he relives that moment over and over again, still unable to find anything in him to make you stay.

If he could change the past, out of all the wrongs he’d done, he will make it right for you. He would tell Mitchy to go fuck himself, kick him out for disrespecting you that way. He would have gone to find you in his room, make you pack your stuff and take you away to that mini holiday you never got live. He would cover you in kisses and beg you not to leave him because he will miss you too much. He would tell you that he loves you more than anything in his life and that he is sorry he couldn’t love you more.

But time cannot be reversed and some hurts might never be healed.

And Calum misses you, Duke misses you. But he knows you are not coming back anytime soon, Ashton made sure to tell him that in one of the last conversations he had with him.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” The drummer said a few days later when he got sick of Calum constantly questioning him about you “And not only because she made me swear not to tell you anything. But because if I start talking about her and how you broke her, I cannot promise you it will end well for you. All I can tell you is that she is safe.”

At least he knew you were with Ashton, you always confided in him as your best friend. But that also meant that Ashton had to take sides and he made it very clear from that night that he was on yours. Luke and Michael stood neutral to the fight, knowing it would only hurt the band even more, but they told Calum that this time he was on his own if he ever tried to take you back.

And, then again, Calum cannot blame them. He knew that if they were in his shoes he’d do the same thing. What he did was horrible, the coward’s way to face things. And there was nothing he regretted more.

He tried to occupy his time with whatever came to mind, he could not stand being alone with his thoughts cause the only thing he did was think of you. So today he decided to go on a run.

It was a horrible thing that it didn’t work, cause after minutes or hours of running through the streets without a clear path, he ended up in front of Ashton’s place.

He knew he shouldn’t do it, that the right thing to do was to give you space. But when he saw the lightest shadow of your figure grace the window, he knew he had to see you, even just one more time. So he knocked on the door and prayed to every god he’d ever known that you would answer.

But nothing could prepare him for when you did.

You don’t remember much about the rest of that night. The night where you jumped in Ashton’s car and fled the house you used to know as home.

You remember Ashton having to carry you to his guest room, or at least you assumed he did it cause you don’t remember walking up the stairs. You remember crying, hanging onto his shirt and asking the universe why? Why didn’t he do anything? Why didn’t he fight for you? Why did you have to love him still?

You begged for Ashton to stay with you, the thought of being alone that night terrified you. But he replied that he was planning on doing it anyway “I’m not leaving you, Y/N” He said, and those were the most comforting words you heard all day until you fell asleep from crying too much.

The next morning you woke up alone and you didn’t know where you were. The sheets were not yours, the wallpaper and the pictures were unknown to you and the smell was unfamiliar. Unconsciously you reached your hand to the other side, finding it empty but still kind of warm and you wondered if Calum had taken Duke out for a walk like he used to do every Saturday morning that he was home.

Only when Ashton came into the room carrying a tray with a warm breakfast on it did you remember the incidents of the night before. Your eyes filled with tears again as you watch him lay the tray in front of you.

“I know you don’t want to hear this,” He said, his voice was comforting at best, but you couldn’t help but hear the pity that came with it “But you need to eat. I know you haven’t been eating anything since at least yesterday's noon”

You looked at the food and shook your head “C’mon babe, for me?” He asked, softly rubbing your shoulder “I know I’m not the best cook but at least I know this is edible” He joked, making you chuckle through the tears that were already spilling from your eyes.

“I don’t know what to do” You honestly tell him.

“Do you want to talk to him?”

“No.” You replied quickly “I don’t want to see him and I don’t want him to see me” Ashton looked at you and it almost seemed like he wanted to say something, but eventually just nodded at your wish “I just- I need to get my other stuff out of the house and-”

“I can let you know when he’s out. That way you won’t have to face him if you don’t want to”

“Thank you, Ash.” You smiled at him gratefully, placing your hand on top of his “I’m going to start looking for a new place soon and-”

“None of that” Ashton said shaking his head “You can stay here! I don’t have a roommate and, I’m sorry, but I don’t like the idea of you being alone” You opened your mouth to say something, but he continued “I promise I will talk to Calum that he is not welcomed here without my, and now your, permission. I won’t let him hurt you again”

That was three months ago and you can honestly say that you are doing just fine by now.

Yes, the first few weeks you spent them in your bed, crying and heartbroken at the thought of losing the love of your life. Calum was everything to you and it seemed like in the blink of an eye that “everything” crumbled right in front of you as you realized just how little you meant to him.

Many nights you tried to fool yourself into thinking that it was all a big misunderstandment. That you somehow misheard every word and it was just your brain creating scenarios that would never become a reality. However, the faintest echo of Calum’s laughter at Mitchy’s comments, his agreeability to go on with his plan, the things he said and the things he didn’t say… they were all still tattooed inside your head.

“A good fuck” That’s what he said. That was the only positive thing he had to say while his friend mocked you and humiliated you like it was nothing. Like if he hadn’t thought those things before.

You decided you wanted nothing to do with him. You blocked his number and deleted his number. You also begged Ashton not to cause anymore scenes between the two of them, knowing how badly it could affect the band if they let their feelings come between them.

A month went by, then two and now three, and not a day goes by that you don’t think of Calum and how he’s doing, if he has a new girl or if he ever got to meet that Vanessa girl. You knew it wasn’t healthy, but you spent so many years loving him that it was impossible to fall out of love for him, even after he hurt you so badly.

Ashton helped a lot. He always tried to cheer you up, even inspiring you to try yoga and meditation to help you clear your thoughts and bring new energy into your life. And, even if you hate to admit it, it worked! In these three months you found out things about yourself that you never thought of before. You realized that all your dreams were for you and Calum, yet none of those dreams were only for you.

Your career, your job… those were your dreams. But soon enough those dreams became shared once you met Calum, pushing them aside from time to time to accompany him on tour, or to help him write a song or two when he got stuck, or even just because he asked you to. You were more than happy to do so, but you did that for him, for the both of you, not for you.

With that in mind, you began to search for yourself, for your needs and wants. You aren’t quite there yet, but it helps you keep your mind busy from the heartache. And, slowly and steady, you began to feel more like yourself again.

Just like right now, you asked Ashton to grab some things from the store once he’s back from the studio, telling him you were going to try to cook some pastries that your mom used to make when you were little. He said he’d be home soon and that’s why you weren’t surprised to hear the knock on your door, knowing that he usually forgets his keys in every set of skinny jeans he owns.

You laughed at yourself, thinking of teasing him about having a set of keys for every pair of jeans he owned. Only this time it wasn’t Ashton who was standing at the other side of the door.

Calum swore his heart could not break anymore until he saw how your smile disappeared from your face when you realized it was him. You were looking good, better than him at least. Your hair was a little bit longer and you still wore socks inside the house. But your eyes… your eyes were different. They didn’t shine anymore with that gleam that got him completely hooked to your gaze, the gleam that was reserved just for him. Now, he could only see himself reflected in those y/e/c eyes and he could see the disappointment behind them.

The first thing that comes into your mind was his beard, he never used to have a beard before, he always kept his face clean and neat but now his scruff was decorating his jawline and you were not sure you liked it. His clothes were a mess too, you realized he came running as you took in the beads of sweat that covered his forehead, but his clothes seemed old and they were not matching. He never really cared about the clothes he’d wear when he was in a rush.

You took your time to meet his eyes, knowing that once you stared at those brown orbs you might just break down. But once you did, it was like you were able to stand taller, to stand up to him as the only feeling you had running through your head was doubt.

“What are you doing here?” You asked. Not a hello, not a welcome, not even his name. Calum knew he deserved none of that.

He flinched at the sound of your voice. The voice that once was sweet as honey, was now cold and hard like steel, just like it sounded before you left.

“Y/N I-” He said, pleading with a string of his voice, trying his hardest not to cry in front of you. Suddenly now he realized just how hard it was to see you again “Can we talk?”

You hesitated and Calum noticed that. He saw how you gripped the doorknob, and he hoped that you let him in despite knowing that he deserves to have that door close on his face.

“Please?”

You knew you couldn't resist him, not only that but something inside you begged for you to let him in, to hear him out. However, you could not help but feel a little bit scared. You weren’t ready to see him, but you have to.

With a sigh, you opened the door. You watched how his shoulders relaxed as he let go of his breath. He was as scared as you were.

Calum walked inside the living room. He hasn’t been here in months, but he can recognize your touch. You were everywhere in this room and he assumed that would be the case for all of the house as well. He recognized a few decorations that once adorned your shared home, you took them all with you when you left. Leaving him with not a single trace of you to hold on to.

You closed the door and followed after him. You found Calum standing in the middle of the room, checking the pictures you brought from his house, you knew he was trying to, even hoping to find himself in one of them, but all of those pictures were tucked away now, leaving all those memories behind.

Calum turned to you once you entered the room. He looked defeated, broken even, and your heart could not stand it. Even after all he put you through, you still care for him and you are sure you will always care for him, even when you don’t want to.

“I cannot start this conversation without saying how sorry I am” He said, hands in his pockets and eyes locked in yours. You could already feel the tears start to come but you held them back.

“Calum-” Calum, not Cal or babe or love. Just Calum.

He closed his eyes for a moment, taking in how the sound of his name now held no comfort for him “I need to say it, Y/N. Please” You nodded and he continued “I am an idiot. A stupid son of a bitch who lost everything before he ever realized what he’d done and I’m sorry, Y/N. I am so terribly sorry and I hope one day you could believe that” You wanted to say that you did, but he beat you to it “And I know that a simple sorry doesn’t fix things… fuck I don’t even know how to begin. I thought I was ready to see you and tell you just how fucked up I am without you but-” He started to choke up, his feelings were overwhelming even for you “When I look at you all I want to do is hold you close and it kills me that I can’t do that”

“I have no excuse, Y/N. No excuse that doesn’t make me sound like an asshole for treating you the way I did. Cause that’s exactly what I am, I am an asshole who lost the best thing that has ever happened to him just because he was too much of a coward to say anything.

But you have to know - you must know that I don’t think of you that way. I never did nor I ever will. Bab-Y/N, you have no idea what you mean to me and I know I’m shit at showing it to you but I swear, I swear none of what he said that night it’s true. What he said… I was so angry at him, I still am, if I’m being honest and that’s why I ended the friendship right there. I tried to convince myself that he was just high out of his head, that he says shitty things when he’s out of his mind and the only way to make him shut up was by following along to what he was saying. And I know it sounds stupid, fuck.. I don’t even know why I did it! At that moment I was just thinking that I didn’t want the night to end in an endless fight with him cause there was no way of shutting him up and now I wish I would’ve just kicked him out the minute your name came out of his mouth. I hate him and I hate myself for the pain I caused you. I know that it would be useless to say that if I knew you were there I would’ve ended it right there. But I know that even doing it behind your back was an act of disrespect and I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that, any of the pain or the tears… I’m still haunted by the memory of you leaving.

What I said that night was true. I had never and would never cheat on you, that’s not who I am and you know it. I wasn’t even going to go to that stupid club and meet the girl he wanted to introduce me. You gotta believe me on that one, I would’ve never forgiven myself if I did it. I can’t even forgive the thought of it or even the simple thought of faking to consider it for Mitchy to shut up… I would have never-”

“I believe you” You say.

Somewhere along his speech your eyes stopped trying to keep the tears at bay and just let them roll down your cheeks and into your shirt. You watched as he paced the room, trying his best to come up with the right words to apologize to you, to make you believe him when in reality you believed in him since the moment he walked through the door. You knew Calum and you know that his heart is always true. But his words did not make anything better.

“I believe you, Calum. I do. I just-” You snuffle “You said you just didn’t want to start a fight… Am I not worth fighting for?”

Calum almost ran to you when he noticed the tears. He always hated to see you cry, but now more than anything knowing that he’s the reason for your sadness.

“Baby, I’d start a war for you.” He said, cupping your face with his hands and delicately wiping your tears with his thumb “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize, but I’d do anything for you, my love. Anything.”

“Then why didn’t you?” You cried, pushing yourself away from him.

Calum’s heart broke once again when you pushed him away. He wanted nothing more than to console you but he knew he didn’t have the right to do so.

“Because I failed to realize that there was a possibility of you not being with me anymore” He said, confidently “When I think of you, I think of forever. I never thought that it will ever come to an end, that you could leave me at any point or that the love will just fade away… I thought about a family together, a life where it will always be you and me. I got too confident that I ended up losing you. I failed you, Y/N. I know I did, and I can’t forgive myself for that”

His eyes were honest as they stared at you. You could feel the burn in your throat as you tried to speak “I thought of a forever with you as well” You said softly.

Calum took a step closer. It was the first time he’d ever let his heart hope for some kind of saving grace, for some kind of forgiveness and a start over “Then, say we can try again. Say that we can get through this and we can fix it, because I want nothing more than to fix this and go back to what we once had, or to start over if you want! I just need you in my life, Y/N. Tell me we’ll be alright”

He knew it was a long shot, but he had to try. He didn’t take the chance to defend her before, but he was sure he was not going to let her go again if there was still a chance of a future together.

“I don’t know if we can”

Every ounce of hope fled through Calum’s hands as he processed what you said. He could feel the earth under his feet start to shake as his world came crumbling down once again.

“Calum, I knew you never cheated on me and I appreciate your honesty.” You said as you wiped out your tears with the back of your hand “But the simple thought of you considering it broke every trust I had in you, even if you weren’t being serious about it, I can’t stop picturing you with some random girl while I waited for you at home every night. And not only that but the words you said that night still haunt me. Mitchy’s comments weren’t as insulting as the fact that you didn’t contradict him in any way. I felt humiliated, Calum. Humiliated by someone I loved in front of someone who you knew didn’t like me and would take any chance he’d get to demonstrate that.

It took me weeks to realize that I didn’t do anything wrong, but I still believed that that was the perception you had of me all this time. How can I come back from that?”

Calum’s eyes were pleading, his expression remaining unmoving from the pain that he caused himself by hurting you. But he was determined to make it right.

“We can!” Calum said, desperately trying to reach for your touch as he grabbed your hand and started kissing it “Baby, no. No, no no no please don’t say that. I love you with all my heart and it kills me to know that I’ve wronged you. I’ll make it up for it, everyday for the rest of my life but, please, at least say we can try. I- I know I don’t deserve it, but please. I can’t live without you”

You pulled your hand away from him, slowly as you watched the tears pour down out of his eyes “I thought I couldn’t live without you either. And yet, I am. I’m learning to live my life for myself rather than living it for the both of us-”

“I never asked you to do it”

“You didn’t have to. I wanted to. I wanted your dreams to be mine and to be by your side cause I thought that’s the only thing I wanted in life, but I don’t know anymore, Calum. All my dreams were shared with you that I don’t even know if I have some of my own!” You watched Calum’s face slowly lose all kinds of hope he had left and you know you should’ve felt at least a little bit guilty, but that’s not the case. On the contrary, it felt like you deserve this time for yourself “But now I need to find myself, find what I want and what’s good for me and I need to do that alone.

I can’t force my feelings, and I cannot force myself to trust you again when I can’t. Calum, you have to understand that you are a whole new person for me now. I used to believe that you would never hurt me and then, you did”

Calum’s knees fell to the floor as he reached for you once again, holding onto your legs as he desperately tried to make you stay. Stay in any form or way, stay in love with him, stay with him, stay… anything for you not to disappear from his life once again.

“Please, don’t.” He pleaded at your feet “I won’t forgive myself for this. I’m so sorry, my love. My Y/N. Please, don’t. I can’t love anyone but you”

You gripped his shoulders, trying to stay balanced as the curly haired man cried, making you shred a new set of tears again “Oh, but you will.” You reassured him, hoping your tone was convincing enough “Your heart is big enough to love again, to love better. Of course you will”

“But I don’t want to” He separated from you, long enough for you to crouch down in front of him so you could wipe some tears from his face “D-do you want to?” He asked softly.

You saw yourself reflected on his red, puffy eyes. He was never a man that could share his emotions so openly and, even though you’ve seen him cry before, the sight in front of you completely shattered your heart, knowing that his was utterly broken as well. But you can’t lie about your feelings, even if they hurt.

“I don’t know what I want.” You whispered to him.

Suddenly, you hear the front door opened as Ashton’s loud and cheering voice came floating towards your ears. Your eyes widen at the thought of his possible reaction, he’d hate to see Calum here, knowing that he specifically asked him to leave you alone until you were ready to see him, but he’d hate more the fact that you are crying.

“Y/N! I couldn't find that weird ingredient you asked, so I had to ask a lady there that seemed like she could cook and she said that this will work better on your-”

His eyes fall to the floor where you are kneeling down beside Calum. His eyes flickered between you and him, showing all kinds of emotions as he took in the scenario in front of him. He noticed that you were crying and he was about to ask what the hell was going on, but you beat him to it.

You got up and wiped some tears from your face as you walked up to Ashton, grabbed his hand and led him to the kitchen. He reluctantly followed, leaving Calum alone in the living room.

“Okay, what the fuck?” Ashton asks in a hushed tone as he sets the groceries on the kitchen counter “What is he doing here?”

You sighed “I don’t know. Everything is fine Ash, don’t worry. He came to apologize and-”

“Did he say anything to make you cry?” He asked with concern. His hands were cupping your face as he wiped some tears from your puffy eyes, yet his hazel eyes never left your gaze for a second.

“We are both crying, Ashton. It’s fine”

You notice he is not convinced at all, but he won’t fight you on this. You’ve come so far that he is confident that you can defend and stand up for yourself again. He’s seen you broken so many times in the past few months, but he’s also seen you pick yourself up piece by piece like a phoenix.

“Are you okay?” Was the only thing he said. You can’t blame him for being protective of you, and you appreciated that. After all this time he is the only comfort you know won’t leave you behind.

“I will be, don’t worry” You said with a smile. He smiled back at you.

“I will always worry, love. Want me to leave you alone with him? I don’t want to but I feel like I won’t have a choice either way” You nod, “I’ll be down the hall if you need me to kick him out. I love you” He said, placing a kiss to your forehead and giving you a hug.

“I love you, too” You respond as he walks away.

You take a minute to compose yourself before going back to the living room where Calum is waiting.

Calum, on his part, was already on his feet. The tears were drying themselves on his cheeks as he watched you enter the room again.

“Sorry about that,” You said “He gets-”

“Protective, I know” Calum completes the phrase “He loves you, so I get it”

There is an awkward silence between the two of you, almost like if a wall was standing in the middle of the room, separating both of you in different paths. There were so many things left unsaid, like the way Calum felt guilty after seeing you with Ashton and realizing what he should’ve done months ago, or the way you noticed how he was closing up again, shutting himself out from his own feelings, but you both knew that now it wasn’t the time. You didn’t even know if that time would come.

Calum was the first one to talk after a while “And I get what you’re saying, I really do and I support you in every way… But I mean it when I say that i don’t want love if it’s not you” You sighed.

“And what will happen if it’s not me, then?”

He stays quiet,but a tiny smile creeps on his face as he is trying to offer you some comfort “I guess we’ll find out. But I’ll wait for you, Y/N. I will always wait for you cause I know that we belong together. And I promise I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it right for you. To prove my love for you”

“I can’t ask you to do that, and I won’t” You say after a while “We both need to figure ourselves out, to find a life without the other one around, and, if we do end up together, then that’s beautiful. But you have to be open to the possibility of another ending, Calum. I cannot stand around and watch you waste your life away”

Calum nods, he knows you are right, but that doesn’t mean he likes what you are saying. He will respect your decision, though. He knows his love isn’t fragile.

He knows that it was his time to go. He knows that he could still say so much, he could still apologize ten thousand more times and claim his love till infinity, but he knows you won’t change your mind and he can’t, no, he won’t blame you for that. So he turns to leave, but before he gets the chance to do it, you grab him by the arm and pull him for one last hug.

You don’t know what came over you, but a voice inside of you begged you to hold him closer, just one more time and remember what it felt like to be wrapped inside his embrace. And as you held each other close, somehow you both knew that this was a goodbye.

“This is it?” He asks after a silent moment of tears and snuffles, with face hidden in the crook of your neck, taking in your perfume and engraving it in his memory.

“I’m not sure,” You say “It might be”

“If it is. Could you lie and tell me you love me?” Calum pleads “Just for one last time?”

You pull him closer to you, “I could lie and tell you that I don’t”

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @talksoprettyjjx @mystic-232

And I also wanna tag some of the beautiful people who asked for a part 2, I hope you liked it ✨ @theshyspy @wonderlandiswhereitsatyo @wontlastimokwiththat @wldflwercal Thank you ❤️