#my issues come from my grandma and he had different one so idk

[the-acid-pear]

Y'know I know it's hereditary and also a normal stress response (and I spent many years in hell itself) but I don't think eating a few whole bags of caramelos super acidos (super sour candies) (edición invierno) with my brother was a good idea either.

[artdcnaldson]

UGH ok twist my arm i guess!!!! as a little treat!!!! dr donaldson <3

so gynecologist art, yall, doctor donaldson. cat and i were in the dms TRUST. so art decides that he should probably have a backup plan, just in case tennis doesnt work out after college. he doesnt expect to actually need it because his tennis is going great, hes on track to go pro very soon. but JUST in case, he decides to use his good grades to study some kind of medicine. initially he had thought some kind of sports medicine, if nothing else then it would be good knowledge for himself down the line.

but after his grandma passes (not of a stroke) and he hears his family discussing how if only her gynecologist had paid better attention and taken her serious she might have lived longer (idk anything about medicine but probably some kind of cancer yknow?). anyway he sees that a his motivation and picks gynecology as his field. patrick absolutely teases him to death over it, "you're gonna be a pussy doctor? what so you just get to look at naked chicks all day? i'd quit tennis for that too". again he's not really expecting to need it, so he doesnt take it too hard. but he's kind of obviously the only guy in the course, and the girls all think he's kind of weird for wanting to pursue a field of medicine that isnt relevant to him. but after him telling the story about his grandmother they all coo and comfort him that its okey and they understand.

he does well in all his classes because he does truly find it interesting and wants to do his best to help women. but as he's getting ready to go pro, he has an accident on the court, as he's going to return a long ball he twists his ankle and takes a bad fall. his recovery is good, but his ankle will never be as it was before, and his chances of the big tennis dream slowly dies. and ultimately he's just unwilling to spend his life as a struggling tennis player, when he could be making a real difference.

now that he has his own practice he likes to tell that story to his new patients, especially the ones who seem tense with the fact that he's a man, who will be examining their most private area. it does well to ease their minds. hes been doing this for many years now, he enjoys the work, and the women who come to him are happy with his work. his patients are typically slightly older women, as they're not as phased by a male gynecologist, whereas most younger women arent as comfortable with the idea. he doesnt mind that, in fact he understands perfectly. honestly hes grateful for it, he fears the day he might have a patient whos just a bit too attractive and he'll have to struggle to keep his cool.

that day unfortunately comes sooner than he had hoped. its your first appointment with him after having him recommended by a friend, you had contacted him and told him how you were very unhappy with your current doctor and wanted to try something else. not having had a male doctor before, except like your dentist, youre very nervous for the appointment. not knowing what to expect from it, or how seriously he will take your issues. out of nervous habit youve gotten ready for the appointment as if it were a date rather than a clinical exam. showered, shaved, cute panties, hair and makeup done. its all totally unnecessary, but the moment you see him for the first time you thank the divine for looking your absolute best. GOD hes so hot. far too hot to be a doctor. lets just say that he wears scrubs because theyre so sexy, and they truly are criminally flattering on him. he sits on his chair, typing away as youre lead into the room by an assistant. as soon as he looks up and asks you to have a seat with him, you both know youre screwed. the tension is immediately noticeable as you discuss your reason for coming in, just a routine check because your last doctor wouldnt do it thorough enough and didnt listen enough to your issues.

he leaves the room while you strip off and leave your clothes in a neat little pile, panties clearly on top in the hope that he'll see them and think theyre cute. and he does, in fact his eyes keep fluttering to them as hes getting ready for the exam. he has to adjust his chair a little lower in the hopes that you cant see that he's getting hard. meanwhile youre going from soaking to sopping wet as you watch him put on the latex gloves, snapping them against his wrist.

he can tell that you're tense, but as its your first appointment with a male gynecologist, he assumes thats the reason, and not the fact that youre mortifyingly wet. he tries to calm your nerves by telling you what he'll be doing, he sits right in front of you on his chair and tells you how first he'll examine externally, just checking for anything irregular. then an internal exam with the same purpose, and then finally a physical exam where he will just have to feel your tummy as well as your pelvis to ensure everything is as it should be. totally routine stuff, nothing out of the ordinary, if anything hes far more attentive and careful to make sure youre comfortable. but the way hes saying it, his voice and the way he's looking at you has you clenching your thighs shut and trying to keep yourself from making a puddle on the table.

as he gathers his tools he asks you to place your legs in the stirrups, he sees you struggling a little to get your right leg properly in place, he gently grabs your leg and helps you place it properly. goosebumps cover you leg as he pulls his hand away again. you can feel how wet you are as youre not totally exposed to him, dripping wet, youve been less wet when hooking up with people. this is just from interacting with him briefly, really its embarrassing. hes so sweet asking if everythings alright, and if he can do anything to help you relax. and after squeezing your eyes shut and holding your breath for a second you finally get out that you just feel like youre really wet, and youre not youre not sure why, this doesnt usually happen. hes so sweet, trying to reassure you, telling you its perfectly normal. its a natural response from your body, if anything its a sign that youre healthy!

hes not lying, he really does mean what hes saying, it is good and it is normal. but hes never seen anyone be quite this wet during an appointment in his office. youre soaked, its practically dripping onto the table and forming a puddle. if he was sporting a semi under the table he might have referred you to a different doctor. but youre so pretty he cant help himself.

he really does try his best to stay professional and not let his attraction crack through and distract from his work. but fuck youre so tight around his latex covered fingers when hes doing the exam. and you only squeeze down tighter when he tries to reassure you, tell you youre doing good. its making it hard for him to focus on the task at hand. it takes everything in him to keep his hands from drifting and moving to find those sweet spots inside of you. he doesnt have to deprive himself for long tho as he accidentally brushed against your gspot. his cheeks turn bright pink as he hears a tiny moan escape your lips. and youd been so good at keeping them in the whole time too. but this one couldnt be contained. he stays good, doesnt say anything, just carries on with his work. but he almost lets out a moan of his own as he sees the ring of cream gathered around his gloved fingers.

he takes his work very seriously and he doesnt take the idea of losing his medical license due to malpractice lightly, so he wouldnt be just giving in to his urges. his resolve breaking doent come lightly, its a big deal to him. he goes home that day and jerks off in the shower while thinking about you, he knows exactly what your pussy looks like, what it feels like, how soaking wet you got for him. he cums again in his bed and humps his mattress while dreaming about you. he wakes up and decided he needs to see you again. asks his assistant to set up another appointment with you. when he asks what for, he stutters and says something about needing to do some tests just to be sure of something. hes lying, obviously, but he needs to see you again. he cant stop thinking about your tight little cunt...

-🐞

ladybug your mind amazes me... <3

He can't risk medical malpractice, and he really is a good doctor, he loves his work, he wants to help people. And he's really never, ever reacted this way to a patient before, but god, he can't get you out of his mind.

So maybe he schedules a follow up for a week later. Maybe his heart is racing and his palms sweat when he walks into the examination room and sees you in the little fabric gown, hands in your lap, worrying your lip between your teeth.

He feels like a nervous teenager on a first date, not a fucking healthcare professional.

He listens to you speak about your concerns, walks through your test results from the week prior. Everything looks good, he says. Nothing felt abnormal, your body is working just how it's supposed to. Do you have any questions for me?

You shake your head, sweet and shy, aching for an excuse to get his hands on you again, but running low on things you can ask for.

[ultimatemissadhd]

Fuck I don't care this fandom is more dead than my grandma and that no one will know what I'm talking about

Cassandra from Tangled the Series Headcanons (spoilers for the whole show)

Tw: Mentions of self harm, depression, other mental health issues

- Between her leaving and the last episode there is a time skip because the show kinda made it look like there wasn't and I don't like that so there was a few months time skip

- During that time skip, she struggles with her mental health a lot. She keeps finding ways to punish herself like not properly taking care of herself. Rapunzel and others would take care of her and make sure she is well fed and rested.

- The idea of her leaving would actually come early after the finale but she would hesitate. Not only her, Rapunzel would be worried that Cassandra with how bad her depression was at the moment, wouldn't take care of herself properly on the road which could have really bad consequences. Eventually, Cassandra would get better enough for Rapunzel to not be worried about her that much.

- Cassandra did not know how to take off her armour after the finale and had to go to Varian for help. It was all a very embarrassing experience, she doesn't like talking about it.

- She was very wild as a teenager.

- She has lots of scars on her body from different incidents (most from her teenage era)

- She began having really bad nightmares after the finale.

- She and Rapunzel would (obviously) write to eachother while she is away. Rapunzel would write a lot, every minor event would result in a letter, Cassandra would love to hear about all of them. However, Cass would struggle to write to Rapunzel sometimes since she struggles to express herself and her feelings. As much as Rapunzel worries, she understands. On the bright side, it would make Cassandra's letters very long since she would have a lot to write about after putting it off for so long.

- She did want to get included in the search for the lost princess multiple times but her father forbid her from it. He was very strict about it, eventually she gave up on trying. (You may figure out the reason on why he was so strict about it yourself iykyk)

- The only person (probably in the whole kingdom) aware of what happens to the lanterns after they look pretty and fly away. She didn't have a heart to tell that to anyone because of the meaning of the tradition.

- She did have problems with her hand after it got burned and it did hurt her a lot when she used it but she never told anyone and pretended it's fine. (I don't like how fast the show moved on from her hand getting burned like she got over it too fast idk)

- The moonstone had very weird effects on her other than providing her energy (so she didn't need to eat or sleep). One of it being that her chest did hurt sometimes because of the moonstone being stuck there, she did her best to ignore it. There's a high chance that if she kept it for longer, the pain could become unbearable.

- The moonstone effected her brain more than she thought, sometimes making her dissociate or have derealizations. This why she doesn't actually remember many moments of her life after she grabbed the moonstone, especially the moments between the mayor events when she'd be alone.

- Always wanted to explore the world but never had a chance. She was a bit jealous of Eugene whenever he would describe the places he have been to but she would never admit it.

- Actually witnessed the dancing scene from the movie and was a part of it at some point very very much against her will.

- Dissociates when emotions become too much, Rapunzel always gets extra concerned during those.

- Touch starved but also hated touching it's complicated.

- Cold hands

- (This one is based on this one shot I read on ao3 I might put it later when it's not 1am for me)

Growing up she never learned how to take care of her curly hair, since she never had a mum and the other maids working in the castle weren't much of a help. Eventually, Eugene would help her with it and teach her to take proper care of it.

[candeathbereal]

Astro observations

Placements included are Aries Mercury, Aries Sun, Aries Mars, Taurus Mars, Taurus Moon, and Gemini Mercury.

Aries Mercury

Alright you greedy fucks! Let's get into this. Like many Aries placements there are the general themes of independence, impulsivity, and chaos. I know I come off rude sometimes but that is only because I have said words in the wrong tone. Other times I’m actually trying to be rude. Here is my fun advice for people as a whole: Take a risk and be okay with someone not liking you. If one person doesn’t like you remember there is a dog that will love you more than that person ever could. Now if there are multiple people that actively dislike you, I got nothing. And even then if you're a earth mercury...are you really listening to a fire mercury? I usually get along well with earth placements but earth mercuries are a whole different thing bruh. Taurus mercuries are okay...unless you disagree with them and act like I do in an argument (with passion) because then you better hope their mars isn't in another fixed sign. Idk take what you can from that. I would say something about Virgo and Capricorn mercuries but I haven't really met too many. Plus most Virgo mercuries I have met also have a Leo sun and Taurus moon so it would be wrong of me to really say much about Virgo mercuries since Taurus and Leo placements (together) will dominant your shit most times. Anyways let's move onto the actually rest of the post.

Aries Sun

The pain of being a bad bitch. Lol idk that pain tho. Most post I have seen has labeled us as wild and childish. In actuality tho that is more likely Aries mars than Aries sun. I do wonder if the degree your sun is in affects the expression. It’s actually a moment cause Aries is exalted in the sun placement. I have an Aries sun at the 17th degree which is a Leo degree. Plus I have a Leo rising so I do wonder if that affected me in any way.

Aries Mars

Damn. I don’t have much to say besides please make sure to check on people after you get mad at them. Like it’s okay to feel anger and express it but idk sometimes people get hurt deeply by that expression. I don’t have too much experience with Aries mars people and Scorpio mars people. I can only go off by the two people I have met with either mars sign. Which are my grandma and my mom respectively. I will get into that another post so yeah sorry for the lack of stuff rn.

Taurus Moon

Indulgence. Depending on the sun sign there could be a lot of emotional repression from my experience. I love you guys…unless there is a Leo sun with the Taurus moon. Idk why but I’ve had so many issues with that combo. It isn’t because of the fixed sun fixed moon. My sister is a double Taurus, and my boyfriend is a Scorpio sun Taurus moon. And I love them both very much. I get along great even with other fixed sign sun and moon combos. Leo sun and Taurus moon however…nah.

Honestly I haven't figured out why I'm so erked by Leo sun and Taurus moon. I mean I'm a Leo rising and my MC is in Taurus so I feel like I could be missing something. Anyways Taurus moons are great. I have a lot of respect for you guys and your ability to just defend yourselves when someone says something about you that you know isn't the right thing about you. Even if everyone else in the room agrees with that person your ass is still going "I am not like that and that is that". Even with a prominent libra placements this seems to be a common thing among the Taurus moons I have met. I know someone with a Libra sun, Venus, and Mars and they will stand their ground when it comes to things being placed onto them and their character when they know it isn't right. At first I thought "maybe their Scorpio mercury has something to help with this" but then I remember my dad.

He has a Pisces sun and mercury with a Taurus moon and mars and an Aries Venus I think. If you are just arguing with him on something he is willing to listen to your point and I enjoyed that the most while I was growing up. As an fire dominant person arguing is my way to be vulnerable with people. If I don't trust that you will listen to me or if I don't want to be close to you emotionally, I will just not talk to you. And when I disagree with something you said, I will not just continue on with my day because I don't want to listen to stuff that bores me aka you. Now back to what I was saying about my dad. He and I enjoyed arguing about anything and everything but if I felt overwhelmed by shit he would literally comfort me. So he is okay with stopping a disagreement. Now I bring that up because I have seen him argue with other people and when they try to place a character trait onto him or someone he cared about, he will stand his ground if you are wrong in his eyes. I don't know if that made any sense but honestly that is the only way I can think of describing the thing that I have noticed about Taurus moons.

Taurus Mars

Sometimes I wonder what you guys feel because I can’t really guess what you guys are feeling fully. Especially if you have a mutable moon. Now the two Taurus mars I can think of is my dad and my brother. They both have two Taurus placements each (my dad as said previously has a Taurus moon as well as a Taurus mars, and my brother has a Taurus sun with his Taurus mars). Personally I rarely saw my dad angry but I have seen my brother angry when we were younger. My brother would get red in the face from yelling especially when arguing with our sister. Two Taurus suns with fixed mars refusing to back down...surprising. Now he has calmed down a fuck ton since then. Luckily he doesn't have to be as angry as he used to be.

Gemini Mercury

My besties no matter what you say I will accept the foolishness. Oh and if you have a Gemini Venus as well bruh. I will be chaotic. It is a simple fact that Gemini placements tend to make me go feral, just pure chaos. I think sag mercuries have the same effect on me but I never know how to deal with them properly. Gemini Mercury tho…bitch I’m swinging off that one loose tile on the ceiling…that makes no sense but it doesn’t matter right now. Sometimes I worry about you guys’ mental state but idk maybe you have daddy issues I won’t judge.

[clunelover]

Jeremy and I are in one of the weightiest debates we have ever had. He wants to send E on a plane by themself to visit his mom in Ithaca this summer. My position is that his mom’s behavior ranges from slightly odd and passive aggressive, to outright unpleasant (but not…cruel? Like maybe purposefully missing the point to such an extent that it can feel cruel, but I don’t think she’s ever trying to make someone feel bad? I mean I guess passive aggressive behavior is supposed to make people feel bad, but I mean she doesn’t go out of her way to poke at someone’s insecurity in order to punish them, which is something that sets her apart from my mom) and I’m not comfortable just sending them to deal with that alone, and even though it will probably be fine, and I think even crappy parents can be adequate grandparents, but that I don’t know why there’s any rush to have them, at 10, take their first solo flight AND their first more than one consecutive night at someone else’s house AND first time spending more than a few hours 1:1 with grandma, all in the same visit? And I would prefer a compromise where Jeremy goes with and then stays somewhere separate and just works from hotel and pretends like he’s not there, but he is there just in case. Which he thinks is dumb and defeats the purpose (in which the purpose is for them to be able to bond, because living so far apart means visits are rare, and when she visits us here it’s hard to get enough 1:1 time without parent interference, and she has health issues that can be exacerbated by travel so then she also needs to spend a bunch of time napping when she comes here, and if parents are around kids naturally gravitate toward them/defer to them, and I do agree with all of this, and even admit that it’s worthwhile for the kids to have a relationship with this grandma), and a waste of money that, even though we can afford it, hurts to spend on something he considers unnecessary.

And it’s complicated, because I really dislike his mom, but a lot of that is because of how much she triggers my own mom shit. And I don’t mean that as in, everyone else gets along with her fine - every adult I know who has met her has not enjoyed the experience, but would be better able to just laugh off some of her comments as "ha what a weird thing to say!" Whereas for me they trigger fight or flight.

And relationships with grandparents are different than parents…and E is a well adjusted kid…so like for instance, last time grandma visited she brought a ton of little knickknacks and old toys for the kids (clearly cleaning out a storage unit or something), and E was enthusiastic and said a blanket "thank you" for the lot, plus other genuine noises of excitement about the specific items. Then later, grandma asks, "do you like [some specific knickknack]?" And E says "yeah!" Grandma says, "oh, I didn’t know because you didn’t say thank you." E, unbothered: "I did say thank you!"

So like…that just rolled off E. They know they said thank you, and if grandma didn’t remember, well she’s old. Whereas if that happened to me (and in fact it has - I didn’t make enough noise about a book of poetry she gave me once, and she said if I didn’t really want it, she’d just as soon keep it for herself!) my brain goes "a mom figure has unrealistic expectations of you! And you can behave in accordance with etiquette but still get it wrong somehow! Danger! Danger!"

So really, that kind of stupid passive aggressive stuff is probably the worst thing that will happen? But what if it’s not?!? Idk I hate this.

E’s therapist in my 1:1 session yesterday said "I understand your concerns and I’d have the same ones. But that’s not to say you shouldn’t do it. But I love your compromise idea!"

So Jeremy agreed to compromise but still isn’t happy about it, and he talked to his therapist today and says that he wants to discuss more with me (not to change my mind, just to try to understand each other better, which I’m sure is good, understanding is generally seen as a positive thing, but my knee jerk thought is that it sounds like a trap).

I’ll talk to my therapist about it tomorrow, too. So at least we’ll have as many therapists on the issue as possible!

[megers67]

Just saw the new Ghostbusters movie!

It was fun, but I definitely have... Notes. I will put them below a Read More so that you can scroll past if you want.

First off, forgive me for forgetting basically everyone's names.

Okay so my main gripe is the plot. The machine that extracted Phoebe's soul to make her a ghost had a huge leap in exposition. For one thing, the only thing close to it that was mentioned had to do with possessions. Not your own native soul. Also, there wasn't any mention of a timer. Not only that, but was that REALLY the actual plan from Ice Dude and Melody? Like... There HAD to have been better ways to accomplish that. Also Melody had a moment where she was like "but does it have to be her?" There was never anything given to show why it did though?? Yeah, why DID it have to be her? If there was anybody who it would have been, specifically, it would have been Firebender.

Also, it felt like it was Phoebe's story with a Ghostbusters backdrop and on top of that, she's reckless, sure, but not like... That?? Even though her actions let out the Ice Dude and she was betrayed by Melody, she didn't really have any consequences for it? Like... There should have been something about her being too young actually coming into play. But no, Phoebe gets a pass I guess.

So here's a SparkNotes version of my ideal version of this, including maybe some minor things that weren't immediately in this rant and wouldn't have been an issue if the rest of it was fine. Also, if I have things slightly out of order or forgotten my memory sucks so that's likely my bad there. Rearrange or insert as necessary. The point is these are basic ideas.

First, opening largely the same, the prologue and the dragon spirit chase. They get chewed out and go on another call and it's to the room the prologue was in and find a lot of ghosts. Opens the mystery into Ice Dude. In researching, they find Firebender trying to sell the thing. The guy brings it into Ray's shop and that stuff is the same. Ray investigates and Winston goes on the same "we're not young anymore thing."

Some of the same family issues happen with Phoebe, she also meets Melody and there's mentions of her family issues and they bond.

Then the ghost containment stuff, the lab stuff, etc. However this also includes Firebender and since he's also hit the reader, he's believed to be possessed and out in the machine and it's on a timer. He gets to talk to his grandma and learns about the fire powers before either time running out or her fading, purpose fulfilled because she passed her duty on. except the first time the lab's power flickers, the ghosts actually escape. They split into pairs.

Phoebe and her mom go after Melody. They work out differences and how she wants to keep her safe etc. Phoebe prolly does something that actually goes wrong or gets her hurt that her mom has to save her from. Through this, they also work through Melody's family issues so she actually moves on by resolve her family issues rather than the ??? In the actual movie.

Teacher and the son go after Slimer, who is much bigger now. For some reason the teacher isn't able to drive the car and they reconcile over that stuff.

Ray and Winston go after the posseser after meeting Patton Oswald about the wax recording. Winston gets excited again and Ray realizes that he IS old.

James Acaster and intern go after the hardy ghost. Also the barfing ectoplasm actually has a possession effect and some good slapstick ensues. The ultimate goal is for this ghost to possess the body to say the magic words.

Melnitz and Podcast fight the Mini Stay Pufft guys maybe they try to wreck the lab or something idk. Podcast gets annoyed he's stuck with her since she didn't do any actual Ghostbusting back in the day, but she ends up showing him she's badass.

Venkman and Firebender team up to train to control the fire while fighting the bigger contained ghost. Since Venkman actually has a psych degree, he helps Firebender unlock his anger at himself and his brother and use that as a way to build and control the fire as it is triggered by anger, etc.

After all these side things are resolved, they team up to defeat Ice Dude. Also ALL their proton packs are modified to have copper so all their combined effort actually contributes. Also, when the original crew work to reverse the containment, they all have something to do or other to make it work so it's not like... Boring pushing down a lever thing, or conveniently designed to reverse from the get-go.

Idk, I think it would be better to make it more an ensemble and would better resolve some of the holes (though I don't have immediate answers for all the holes though).

[acourtofthought]

I just have to say that I clearly need to read the books again bc I’m missing evidence in the argument that it’s “obvious” Elain/Az have “been building for several books.” They had some moments, sure. However, (correct me if I’m wrong) they didn’t meet in the first book. The second book, and possibly third, they were still individually in love with other people. Elain/Grayson and Az/Mor. Once they were kind of the odd ones out, they seem to come together in a comforting/rebound sort of way. Nesta and Cassian were together or at least arguing lol. Feyre and Rhys were together or at least good friends… so who is left? Elain and Az. That doesn’t mean love or even romance? I also understand that Az is so desperate for a mate & that he kind of would gravitate towards Elain bc he feels like it “makes sense” to have the third sister. That also doesn’t mean love or romance. Idk…. Maybe I’m not seeing it or maybe I just interpreted things differently from the start. Though Elain/Lucien and Gwyn/Az all have some healing and growth to go through… I think they can actually eventually be very healthy couples. And I like them all individually, so I’m hoping for a happy ending for them all. Also, not to be dramatic….but the 3 brothers and 3 sisters thing makes me gag and if that happened, idk if I would recover. 😂

 

Their big moment from ACOMAF is Azriel answering Elain's question about Illyrian's flying.

But.....Elain was only trying to cut through the tension between Cassian, Feyre, and Nesta so she turned to Azriel to ask him the question. And Azriel was only self-conscious because he doesn't like when the attention is on him (which is PROVEN later in the series when Mor and Cassian laugh at a joke he made. This characteristic of Az has NOTHING to do with romance or Elain).

And before that we have, "but Azriel's attention was on my sister, a polite, bland smile on his face."

Ain't no romance like a bland smile romance 😒

That's the thing with E/riel. Everything is "peace and quiet, soft, gentle, bland, polite." And if you have ever read a fantasy book, especially a fantasy book by SJM, THESE ARE NOT GOOD THINGS TO INDICATE AN ENDGAME COUPLE!!!!!!

And in the same novel, we have:

"Mor breezed to my side. She wore a gown of pure white, little more than a slip of silk that showed off her generous curves. Indeed, a glance over her shoulder revealed Azriel staring blatantly at the back view of it, Cassian and the stranger already too deep in conversation to notice what had drawn the spymaster's attention. For a moment, the ravenous hunger on Azriel's face made my stomach tighten."

And.....

"Not the cold, beautiful shadowsinger who tried so hard not to watch her with longing on his face?"

And....

"The issue, actually, wouldn't be me. It'd be him. I could peel off my clothes right in front of him and he wouldn't move an inch. He might have defied and proved those Illyrian pricks wrong at every turn, but it won't matter if Rhys makes him Prince of Velaris - he'll see himself as a bastard-born nobody, and not good enough for anyone. Especially me.

And....

"Azriel's head lifted from where he was sprawled in his own blood, eyes full of rage and pain as he snarled at the king, "Don't you touch her." Mor looked at Azriel - and there was real fear there. Fear - and something else. She didn't stop moving until she again kneeled beside him and pressed a hand to his wound. Azriel hissed - but covered her bloody fingers with his own.

So what's really romantic coding here? Azriel staring with hunger and longing at Mor and never being willing to make a move because he doesn't think he's worthy or Feyre thinking Elain would seek out Az for peace and quiet? One is passion and one is what I'd do with my grandma.

I am almost positive SJM originally planned on Az and Mor ending up together in ACOMAF until she decided she needed more inclusivity in the series and made Mor bisexual in ACOWAR. Which means when she made Elucien mates in ACOMAF, she wasn't remotely thinking about E/riel being a thing.

And then she changed the direction of Mor in ACOWAR which means she needed to created a new storyline for Az and a way that Elain and Lucien needed to avoid one another until it was time for them to accept the bond in their own book. They needed not to fall for one another while she was still mourning the loss of Graysen.

SJM couples do NOT fall in in love with their endgame person while still in love with someone else. She ALWAYS makes sure the reader knows the FMC is over their past love before falling for someone new.

Enter....the E/riel rebound!

Every single moment people think E/riel has in ACOWAR is followed by imagery of why they wouldn't match. It's followed by the fact that he's still hung up on Mor and she's still hung up on Graysen. There is NO love building between them. Then by the end of that book and in ACOFAS, we see Az starting to realize he may never be with Mor and Elain realize she may never get to return to Graysen. So they latched on to the convenient other single person within their orbit that they're "fine" with. That they feel "comfortable" with. Again, not SJM endgame material. And for God's sakes, Elain is in the room on Solstice while Az looks at Mor with yearning! What the hell kind of romance is that?! Elain's obviously chopped liver when Mor's around 🤔

That's why Gwynriel and Elucien's arguments are so strong, because we don't even need to add Lucien or Gwyn to any of this to make it obvious as to what's going on. And that's why Lucien and Gwyn will be endgame because they are separate from the Mor / Az, Elain / Graysen mess. There are no feelings of love involved with Gwynriel or Elucien right now but there is absolutely an overlap between canon evidence of Az being in love with Mor and Elain being in love with Graysen and E/riels saying Elain and Az are in love.

I'm about tired of their "go back and read the book" arguments considering we can refer back to multiple scenes involving multiple characters outside of just the Elucien or Gwynriel ones versus them, who can only recite E/riel moments. I think it's pretty obvious which readers have actually read the book.

[weabooweedwitch]

I definitely do not properly understand your whole situation but I’ve been seeing your posts about your mom for a while and they sort of make me wonder if your mom struggles with some psychological issues such as narcissism. However, I am not a psychologist so do not trust me there but I get the feeling you’ve also considered the condition for her. I I know you’re already thinking of this yourself, but I think people tend to need reassurance in these decisions so I just really want you to know that your idea of moving out and creating your own path seems like a great idea. You seem like someone who is capable of supporting themselves and leading a productive life but your mother is holding you back. It’s insane to me that she has her daughter working a night job while she stays at home doing nothing. Does she have a disability of some sort that prevents her from getting a job? Also srry if this message comes off as rude or annoying. I’ve just had a friend who’s been through similar circumstances and remember how mentally/emotionally draining dealing with toxic parents can be. I rlly hope things start looking up for you!

Oh she definitely has mental health issues and I don't even mean that in a malicious way, she has told me stories over the years of some really bad stuff thst happened to her at different ages with different people and even such childhood trauma as "she has no fucking idea who her father is but he was a married man my grandma was in love with and the entire Southern Baptist family basically shunned my grandma (my grandma even broke down in tears to me once and said they would call her a slut) and my mom became a black sheep and she was bullied her childhood" but also like I spoke to one of said bullies, a cousin, after my grandma funeral and she mentioned some behaviors of my mom that, I've always seen, so sometimes, I dunno, I wonder if my mom developed some trauma in childhood, or was born a certain way, and unfortunately she has sometimes found bits and pieces of repressed memories of being a CSA survivor but the uncertainty of it kind of, I guess to psychoanalyze her she had developed a permanant suspicion and paranoia and distrust of other people and sometimes I wonder if she has some sort of personality disorder or it's just trauma or it's empathy issues or what, idk. And the continuing lack of stability in our lives is feeding into such festering mental health issues that she also does not have the time to have treated because she has, for most of her life, been working constantly as a single mom, and just literally can't afford it because isn't American healthcare nice.

But anyways. It really is becoming an extremely stressful relationship for rhe both of us and I have occasional concerns over my own behabior, my temper, how I struggle to get through to her and she just tries to shut you down and the anger and frustration at trying to get her to LISTEN, like. We've had some incidents where I kind of lost it a little and I really don't want those to escalate. So it's also sort of becoming like "hey Miranda maybe not only is this the right thing to do but this is literally starting to become a safety issue"

But I'm also occasionally like basically feeling like I'm falling apart, but its also like, hm. When I sit and think about it, I didn't really get my first job until it was basically forced by necessity, and now I'm able to work 40 hour weeks albeit being pretty stressed. So. Would I just be initially terrified of being out on my own and just adjust to that too? But also I would HATE to, like, not to catastrophize but, what if I get a roommate and I totally fall apart, then I ruin my situation AND theirs, and what if lost my job? But also what if I lose my job NOW because I'm getting so bent out of shape on and off the clock? But if I can, you know, barely afford $1350 rent with some occasional purchases, then, a cheaper place could maybe be, the best thing. I'm just scared because I have such horrible trust issues now and I don't want people touching my stuff or my animals, and also I can drive so I guess transportation is also a concern when looking at locations.... decisions decisions but also I'm just, terrified of the unknown and of failing and being worse off than I was before

[realife-mermaid]

found an ebook version of a book i've been wanting to read, farthing by jo walton. she wrote among others, and while i'm not sure among others is my favorite book, when i first read it, it felt like it would become my favorite book. it was just the sort of book that came to me at the right time - the book is like, idk, vaguely magical realism, about a girl who can talk to fairies and has no friends but her books who is suddenly living with a father she doesn't know. she's got a lot of pain issues, and she's suffering from a lot of loneliness and grief and i had started it around my grandma's birthday, about five years after she died, and it was very healing for me.

this one is nothing like that lmao but it's an alternate history book where a group of politicians and nobles step in and force a peace treaty with hitler not too long after dunkirk, so the third reich basically took over the continent, but england is still england. she scandalously marries a jewish man, and is a bit of a social pariah in her circles but they come to a big party her mother is throwing because her husband is hoping it's a peace offering of sorts from her family - only one of the guests, a very outspoken anti semite (straight up tells the main character that if he had his way he'd outlaw marriages like hers) and one of the architects of the peace treaty, shows up murdered, and of course all signs point to her husband.

so just. WILDLY different as a genre, and in tone. this one is funnier because of how much the main character just hates the people she's with because of how they talk about her husband. it's also very romantic in a way that i like - there's this one line i just read where they're sitting on opposite sides of the dinner table and she's realizing that he might genuinely be suspect for the murder and thinking about how she should have protected him instead of letting him come to a dinner she knew would go badly. i'm liking it so far!

[nathank77]

5/23/24

7:50 a.m Significantly Added to/ Edited 8:10 p.m

So in other news they did the wake and funeral all at once. At 10 a.m this morning the wake was scheduled to 1 p.m and then they had the funeral. I didn't go cause of the time. My mother went and my sister. My whole gaint Italian family was there even my grandma from North Carolina. I wish I went. I wish my circadian rhythm wasn't so fucked up. Why do i wish I went?

When I asked my therapists about it (which Erin may not be my therapist as of June 😒 she's going to ask the board for one more month, then I will have to up my time with Mike to twice a week.. cause yea I'm not getting discriminated against by 50 plus therapists). But anyways when I asked them their response was- the funeral/wake is for the living. And I was like shit they are right. I'd be going for my dad. It wasn't really an option with the time. If it was someone I loved who died I would have taken like 1.5mg of xanax at like 8 p.m the night before to get there but it would have really fucked with my tolerance which could fuck me over long term... a 1mg wouldn't surfice... especially when I took one the night before for my t-shot.

I want to see my grandmother before she leaves but idk if I can tbh. Psychosis plays a role and my circadian rhythm and money issue gas isn't cheap... beyond that things are weird when you're trans... you always worry about those family members who don't see you often fucking up and in turn making you feel like shit.

Either way I wish I could have gone.. idk what to do about my grandma

In other news, I'm going to watch movies with my mom. She's ordering Chinese food. I truly don't want the food... but she wants it. I want to stay on my diet... yea I'm going to eat the egg rolls and the rice and chicken and enjoy it but- I'd rather stay skinny. I'd rather enjoy my waistline than food. And my nice thin face that looks more masculine with each passing day.

Other than that I guess I'll spend the day after the movies watching Dexter. I mean- I watched 5 episodes. There is so much dialogue and narration it actually worked with my hallucination... I feel like the white mulberries and cbd are helping...... but I still got a long way to go. The video I made is more informative. I don't want to write it all out... but it's still chronic and constant... however I do see a difference especially since going to 2000mg of white mulberries.

Beyond that, I have decided what my middle name is going to be and maybe the name I change my first name to and keep Nathan as a middle thanks to my hallucination ruining Nathan for me.... cause I can't think Nathan without thinking my deadname.... I won't use my new name in my head without adding other names to it for a reason...

I'm a Dexter. I remember I went to the courthouse with the paperwork signed but it was closed, i had it filled out to be Nathan Dexter..... why did I hesitate with Dexter?

1) what if people didn't take me seriously cause Dexter is such a dorky name and like no one is named that...and I'm trans.... I wanted my identity to be taken seriously...

2) The D for the middle initial... my dad being David... I didn't want people to think i was Nathan David but now that me and my dad are good (I think) idc... I'd consider David but he wouldn't want that. I actually like the name.. I will respect him..

3) I thought it was the show... but it really isn't. I identify with it and I like it and I always come back to it and the only reason I wouldn't do it mostly is reason 1) what if people won't take me seriously?

So I'm either going to be Dexter Nathan. Or Nathan Dexter. Or Dexter Nathaniel or Nathaniel Dexter.

I mean judge me as you will but that fucking association is so fucking strong. I can't even use the name Nate. In my head cause then it'll ruin that one too..... Nathan is Nathan deadname. deadname Nathan... I can use Nate... but not in my head... it isn't associated.. no one calls me Nathan....

So I very well may have my first name changed to Dexter or Nathaniel.. even though I love the name Nathan and I changed my name from Nathaniel to nathan so people would call me Nathan... no one does though anyways......

I am not a Kyle... no matter how much I like Nathan K. I fucking love that but I am not a Kyle. I do not identify with it at all.

[bhaalsdeepbat]

some family stuff i need to ramble about because i'm at a loss on what to do about it

my sister's dad keeps texting me periodically. It used to be we just got the birthday text, but he's been trying to get ahold of me. Idk if he's trying to find out about my sister - that side of the family often uses me to try and gleam information about her. i was not aware of it as a child, i'm aware of it now and am very good at being a gray rock to both sides of our family when it comes to that.

like i'm in the middle of something between her, my mom & my grandma rn and I'm very good at making sure nothing gets to my grandma, either. so, all of this is to say, these people should know I'm very good at playing dumb.

anyways, sister's dad thinks he's my dad, it doesn't matter here that I'm not biologically his bc I was raised under that impression and he's still under that impression.

we have issues with him. when we were younger, he was NOT a good caretaker. He wanted to party when he had us, we were exposed to shit and situations we should not have, but he cleaned up as our two younger sisters were born. Shortly after the youngest was born, my stepdad was stationed in another state. My oldest sister and I left with our mom, the other two sisters stayed behind with my sister's bio dad (they had different moms).

this context is important bc at this point, my sister's dad completely dropped us. logically, I KNOW it was hard. literally right after the family was broken apart, my grandma on his side of the family had her cancer come back in full force and she deteriorated VERY quickly over the course of year. He never called us. He didn't try to see us. We spoke to him on birthdays (he only called US if it was our birthday, and he didn't even do that every year). We called HIM on holidays, and sometimes couldn't even get ahold of him. if we visited my maternal grandparents, my maternal grandfather was the one who would tell my sister's dad we were visiting and arrange for him to come see us.

which was so fucked up !! bc he'd swoop in, shower us with love and all these promises, then we'd leave and suddenly back to radio silence.

so. again. logically i know he was struggling. He was separated from his kids and then lost his mother. That side of the family is Russian. My sister's dad is first gen on her side. My grandma was a huge part of our lives. she helped my mom clean the house, she watched my older sister, and we lived with her for a little while. losing her was about as life-shattering as losing my mom will be for me.

but we were just kids. and it hurt. and it still hurts. i'm 30 and just now can kinda think about it all without disturbing the scabbed over wound and allowing the echo of that pain to ring. but what the fuck am i to do. i understand how hard it was, but we were just kids.

but i'm an adult now, and i understand.

[ebdanon]

jfc another ask

anyway, he said we could get the stuff we needed from the cabinet, use it, and put it back when we're done or when we go to bed. which sounds reasonable if it's something like a mug that you use for a bit and then put away with the rest. but not expensive tech we've worked hard to acquire and use extensively, that you then have to store in a cabinet that barely has any room, so you have to put one laptop on top of the other one, and then more stuff on top of them and do that any time you need them? bitch if im not working on my laptop im doing other shit on it, whether it's studying, or entertainment, or looking for another job so i can move. its also not made to be stored that way. so there was a huge argument about him feeling the freedom to take and move shit around that doesnt belong to him. and my mil was defending him. it then devolved into her talking shit about how many things we had and why couldnt we bring some stuff over to my parents' apartment. that they were horrible people and likely told us to store it in their house because that's what they do, give us instructions we have to follow.

around a month or so into that, i learned that my mil and shitty grandma had become close friends. i realized this because some of the shit talking she did sounded suspiciously familiar. like word for word familiar. one day i caught them on the phone together and it made sense. so thats where my mil was getting her tea from to call my other grandma a whore, my aunt dumb and incompetent, and even made up her own conspiracies on top of that. like how my husband and i were working freelance for my sister. she does work freelance to but something i have no idea how to do. sometimes she'll come to me about how to deal with a client or an admin issue because ive been doing this a few years longer. but we stopped talking after that funeral/party weekend. she was pissed at me for not attending the party. but somehow this woman got it in her mind that we were working for my sister or that my sister was working for us. she said it either way a few different times so idk. but basically the issue there was, her daughter is a stay at home mom in a different country, low on cash, we should be giving her money or work because she needs it more than my sister. what she doesnt know is that my sister in law is the one we've been lending money to for years now with nothing in return. they're having a difficult time with a small kid, we want to help. if they can pay us back at any point fine, if not fine. there are more issues in that particular situation but that's irrelevant here. anyway, pretty often, my mil goes on rants about the country her daughter is in is shit, the people there are shit. there's been a huge brain drain from our country to that one in the last two decades. she keeps saying more and more people are coming back because its so shit there. except its more shit here which is why we're trying to leave too. people arent coming back, shes making it up. how if her daughter came back, she wouldn't have to be a stay at home mom, because my mil would find her a job. except that's the reason they left. my sil and her husband couldnt find jobs anywhere here that paid decently. and they had a toddler. no one was helping them financially from both sets of parents, so thats the solution they found.

in that first month, i kept asking my mil where she keeps various things like baking supplies or cleaning supplies or whatever else i needed that the apartment already had (former) or we left behind (latter) which i never got a response to. "hey where do you keep the stand mixer? silence, leaves the room" is a common example. my fil years ago, made the garage (oh yeah theres a garage too) to fit two cars. except to park them, they gotta be one behind the other, so you have to take out one to drive the other, if my description makes sense. our car is always the one on the inside because "we dont need it much" according to them because they go to work every day and we work from home. any time we need the car, we have to ask them to move theirs so we can get ours out. we're not touching their car no matter how much they push us to sell ours and drive theirs, or just move theirs whenever necessary because that's just a shitstorm masked as a kind gesture. i stopped asking about the cleaning supplies and we bought our own, even though i know she has a set for each floor because she's told me. funny thing i learned last night: the bathroom we got assigned had a single toilet cleaning product in there. the bathroom was also absolutely filthy. we kept trying it out to clean the toilet with the product but nothing was happening. so i checked the date and it turned out to be expired. i left the expired one where i found it because god forbid you touch anything of theirs. im not even allowed in parts of the house. so there were two identical toilet cleaners next to the toilet. my mil brought it up in one of her screaming monologues last month, and we told her why there's two. so she proceeded to yell about why we never told her. and she grabbed the expired one and threw it out. last night during the shitstorm, my father in law said it wasn't that kind of toilet cleaner. he bought some off brand cleaner that her poured into the packaging of this expired bottle (im like wtf u could have made poison gas or something mixing chemicals like that) a while ago, and you're supposed to scrub hard to get any sort of cleaning done. and i said well if the instructions said that, i would have done that, but everyone here takes the pleasure in keeping everything hidden. he said he didnt bring it up earlier because he wanted to see us "tear each other apart" because he was bored. so not even his wife knew. psycho fucking behavior i swear, sometimes i dont know whos worse between the two of them.

my sister in law and her family were over for the christmas holidays, and my niece's bday was coming up soon so she asked me to bake some muffins for her to decorate before the party because she needed the oven at their place to bake other stuff. i said no problem, and had to scavenge a whisk i remembered seeing because idk where the stand mixer is despite asking multiple times. and being ignored. oh but my mil knew id be making them and kept trying to convince my sil against it because im incompetent and would fuck it up and its best if my mil bakes the muffins. my sil assigned mil on muffin decoration duty. which my mil didnt do because she was too busy. i dont even

anyway, since the year started, i decided to make a spreadsheet to keep track or all the shit my mil says about me or my family. i keep track of dates and what she said because the first few months i felt like i was losing my mind. she would say some crazy shit, my husband would call her out and she'd say she never said such a thing. hence, spreadsheet. it got too much for me to handle and my body started reacting. she tends to start shit during weekends. my blood pressure started spiking during the weekends as soon as id wake up. id get shakey, out of breath, my heart rate would go up. my husband and i went to a bunch of doctors, just like we did for him last year. his dad was there too, because thats how shit works here. my husband had to kick him out so i could explain the symptoms to the doctors. so they could examine my chest because they were worried its a heart issue. idk my fil is weird and creepy and thats a nice way of putting it. he walked in on me in the bathroom multiple times. just me, no one else. im now the only one that locks the door when using any bathroom. because my husband asked what his problem was and he said he's not used to other people in the house. yet he never walked in on anyone else. any bathroom any time of day. fil asked why i didnt lock the door and i said my mil and husband said not to do that because the locks are old and rusty and i could end up stuck inside. he said thats not true so i started locking the door. he still tried to get in. weird behavior aside, turns out my symptoms were due to hereditary thyroid issues triggered by stress. the blood pressure has gone back to normal since but not everything else, and especially not during stress, everything spikes then. many times since, she'd start yelling, my husband would notice im not looking great, and he'd pull out the blood pressure monitor so we can check. and she'd continue yelling how she doesnt care i have health issues, im gonna take it, she has health issues too and no one gives a fuck about her. she's shoved me out of the shed when i went to grab something for her daughter while yelling at her daughter why she has things in there (it was a pair of forgotten shoes). several times she's screamed/asked me what she's done wrong for me to mistreat her, how shes opened her soul to me and ive been using it against her, how i changed since we moved out of town and changed her son too. ive asked her how ive used anything against her, no response. ive asked what ive done wrong, no response. so i didnt respond to her question either. until last night when she screamed/asked again.

okay last ask will be about last night ive been typing for so long im sorry for clogging ur ask box with my lore

ur mil would literally argue with air atp jesus christ

[candeathbereal]

Disclaimer: I am basing this off of my own experience and honestly if you disagree with me. I would love to hear your opinion. Message me idk it’s up to you

My intense love for scorpio and capricorn placements together

Okay so I have had to come to terms wtih my emotions that get provoked by people with both scorpio and capricorn placements. I believe I can trace this back to my childhood since my mother has a Scorpio mercury and a Capricorn Venus. I would naturally try my best to stay on my mother’s good side so I think it’s funny how now every person I have met that has these placements can affect me in different ways, but together there is something so fucking intense that happens to me (emotionally and physically).

Scorpio placements are an interesting comfort for me. The “energy” that scorpio placements give off tend to make me feel very comfortable. I feel so energized when I meet scorpio placements. It’s a moment because my fourth house is in scorpio so it makes sense why I feel such a comfort right? For instance, my grandma has a scorpio mars and me and her will argue about the most random shit. The thing is that I don’t think the rest of my family understands it entirely. Afterwards my grandma and me will be joking with each other and I feel very close with my grandma. I think people see us disagreeing with each other and think we are mad at each other or something like that. When really it’s just a leo mercury and aries mercury communicating, so there is a lot of passion behind our words. I bring this up as an example because I have always admired my grandma’s passion and comforted by her ability to take charge and speak up when it is needed.

I do feel like her planets and how they are placed in my houses does help me and her bond very well. Her sun is either in my second or third house, and her moon is in my ninth house. If anyone knows more about the sun house synastry I would love to know more about it. But emotionally I have felt like I do expand due to her influence on me. I say that cause the ninth house is usually ruled by sag and sag rules jupiter. Jupiter is all about expansion and learning I think so yeah. Anyways her mercury is in my first house, her venus is in my third house, and her mars is in my fourth house.

Now let me compare that to my reaction to Capricorn placements

Capricorn is in my sixth house so I have had many experiences bonding with capricorn placements. Now the bond isn’t always the most positive or healthy but it is a bond nonetheless. I also want to preface this by saying that my south node is in my sixth house and in capricorn so even though I am pulling my info from my own experiences. I am still not sure how much will resonate since I think the nodes do contribute to my reactions to capricorn placements and such.

Moving on capricorn placements as a whole affect me. For instance, my boyfriend has a mars in capricorn. His way of doing things is definetly a bit different than me with my mars in sag. When he wants to do something he is very consistent and focused. He wants to become better at that thing and usually he doesn’t change or move onto working on something else for a while. Now comparing that to me who is fasincated in learning so much that sometimes I am working on one thing while learning a completly different thing. I tend to move onto things back and forth multiple times but that doesn’t always mean I am completly dropping that thing I was doing earlier. Idk if that makes any sense but yeah.

I do admire his will to be consistent. The only issue that comes up is when we are doing something together that don't really I want to do. Right now I am learning how to drive and he is helping me out with it. There are a couple of times where I will get so stressed out by driving that I will want to stop it. Now he won’t force me or anything like that to continue if I am not comfortable it. Instead he will talk to me through it all very logically and not exactly with the level of expression of passion I am used to. Like he has said to me that the reason he learned how to drive was because “he didn’t want to rely on anyone”. Now that is a perfectivily great reason but that was it. Idk it just felt very earth mars behavior imo.

Let me do another example. Now this one is about someone who didn’t have a scorpio placement but had a capricorn sun. We would work fine in a group but even though they had a taurus moon (I love taurus moons bruh) we didn’t act like buddy buddy. I became a bit more toned down and it was interesting because I met them through a theatre class. Actually I don’t think we really interacted much unless it was class related, but I do believe meeting and interacting with them affected me and my work ethic. I became more focused and overall like a leader rather than a “follower”. I am more or less just a person who helps where it is needed but sometimes I just do my own thing because I hate the idea of following orders from someone I don’t respect on a professional level. Anyways I’ll try to make another post to elaborate on this topic. Time to check for typos or any errors oof bruh

Talk to you guys soon :)

[fr1day-incredible]

Thanks for the tag!

And no pressure tags: @angst-is-love-angst-is-life @the-feral-gremlin (and any other mutuals/followers that write or just anyone who wants to do this tbh)

Novels, Short stories or Poems?

Well my ambitions lay with Novels. But i have yet to finish one. So I am now trying to write short stories (and in regards to reading, anything but poetry)

What genre do you prefer reading?

Oh it's gotta be action, crime, fluff (can you even call that a genre? Lmao) and horror. Yeah horror gotta be my ultimate favourite tbh

Are you a planer or write as I go kind of person?

Ik i should be a planner, but in reality I'm the figure-it-out-as-i-got-but-then-give-up-not-even-half-way-trougth-cuz-i-did-in-fact-not-figure-it-out

What music do you listen to while writing?

Really depends on what I'm writing, but usually I just got for my "Random <3" playlist that is 25+ hours long and has a fuck ton of different genres of songs in it

Favourite books/movies?

The warrior cats kid will forever live inside me. But Two Little Savages, it was my dad's favourite childhood book and so he showed it to me and I loved it as well <3 And here is also Three on a boat, not counting the dog, that my parents/grandma read to me and honestly I barely remember what it was about. But what I do remember is that I loved it! Also some specific Sherlock Holmes stories, I don't remember their names. I just remember it was a book my mom got as a present years ago, and it just had a collection of Sherlock stories with some unrelated pirate stories in there as well. And my god I was feral after that book, Sherlock had me in a choke hold!

Tho gotta say I only know warrior cats in Norwegian and the other three only in Russian. So my view of them might differ from the view that people who read them in English have lmao

And for movies it's gotta be Ocean's 11, Queen of the gas station orrrr Ivan Vasilievich: Back to the Future

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you, what would your standard outfit be?

Oh I wish I could say that it would be some really cool stylish outfit. But in reality it would be baggy jeans/sweet pants, a random t shirt, a hoodie and then headphones that have seen some shit as an accessory

Create a character description of yourself?

Ummmm, yeah I don't have the energy for that

Do you like to incorporate actual people you know into your stories?

I haven't actually done it, but I like the idea of it! Like making my friend(s) into epic background characters. Or if I'm writing a fic and one of the characters reminds me of someone ik irl, I can see myself giving some of the traits of the person ik irl to the character in a headcanon way

Are you kill happy with your characters?

I keep switching between it, like I decide to kill off a character and but then i change my mind about and then it's an infinite back and forth. So I think I gotta start compromising with: only almost killing them, resurrection (bonus point if they come back wrong one way or the other), becoming a ghost after death. But I'm not sure, I gotta think about it

Tea or coffee?

Tea (or water or some soda). I can not stand the taste or smell of coffee tbh

Slow or fast writer?

Sloooooooooow. Slow!

Where/What/Who do you draw inspiration from?

Anything, everything and anyone, literally

If you were in a fantasy world, what would it be?

Ooooo, I would love to become part of Narnia, Lotr/the hobbit or my own original world! :D

Most favourite book cliche? Least favourite?

Idk about favourite. I don't really issues with cliches, like just write what you want and like. And if I personally don't like it, I'll just click off and let you be in peace. But still I have my least favourite tropes, and it's: (if you can even count it as cliches) when a character loses their powers at the end, does a 360° to get kids and settle down pretty much out of the blue or loses all common sense because of a love interest they keep chasing. Like these tropes ofc can be done well! But most of the time I personally just don't like them either way 🤷

Favourite scene to write?

Oh that gotta be dialogue (especially if the characters are bickering), descriptions or a character's inner thoughts!

Reason for writing?

For my original story, I just want to document all my ideas so that I remember them and have a bit of me still exist in the far future! And for fics I just want to be part of the community, making people and myself happy with my works :D

Writeblr Interview Tag

Dearest @sableglass, again, many thanks. I appreciate you. Hope you are having a stupendous day. I hope you kick this weeks butt. The week is your bitch now.

Short stories, novels, or poems?

All. I write (very bad) poetry, and read (very good) poetry.

What genre do you prefer reading?

I lean towards fantasy tbh. I don't read much anymore- full time job means i choose- read or write. I usually choose to write.

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

Pft. What's a plan?

I really like stories that grow organically and move reactionary (kinda like playing a live D&D game with yourself).

So if i have a plan it's usually only some rough ideas of what happens next.

What music do you listen to while writing?

None. I write in silence.

No I'm not joking.

Yes, i'm aware its weird.

Favorite books/movies?

I don't have one really? But I guess right now I'm re-obsessed with Avatar the Last Air Bender. I am more obsessed with High Rollers D&D streams presently.

Go watch, it's better than anything on the Tellie.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

I'm seasonal:

late spring to end of summer:

tanktop, shorts, socks with sandals

late summer through the cold bits:

beanie, hoodie, yoga pants

Create a character description of yourself: 

Eww no.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

No? There may be pieces of people I know but i cannot say that any character reflects any one person.

Are you kill happy with your characters?

:)

Coffee or Tea while writing?

Both at the same time, also probably water and a club soda. I have 2-4 drinks with me at any given time.

Slow or fast writer?

Depends honestly. Some books go sonic fast, and some go much slower.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

The cosmic ether.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Party healer that gets forced into supporting the protagonist and main party.

I'm combining these three because same answer who dis:

Most fav book cliche

Least favorite cliche

Favorite scene to write

The answer is that there is no answer. Most of this depends on how well the words go for me in terms of writing or reading. I'm quite happy with most cliches or scenes as long as it feels in keeping with the character.

Reason for writing?

The universe beats me on the head if i stop for too long. It's not a choice, it's a compulsion.

I be taggin (hopefully this isn't redundant, trying to revitalize the tag game economy and spread the <3 ):

@ettawritesnstudies

@simonnebethel

@dyrewrites

@leahnardo-da-veggie

@bluberimufim

@gothamxwattpad

[rattoes420]

For otp! You know it, I know it, you're gonna do it eventually, JERIC

All of em⁉️ alright bet I’m deranged like that

1. Who most initiates PDA?

Eric obvi

2. Any sleep habits either had to get used to?

Eric prob sleeps weird, I’m not elaborating on that, and I think jacks the type of mf who needs to be at a certain level of comfort at night or else he’ll die, he’s willing to let some things pass but not much

3. Jealousy issues?

Yea y’all saw witches of pennbrooke

4. What’s a Night Out for them?

They’ve got range, shits anywhere from nice restaurant to club to breaking into mr Feeny’s car

5. What’s an evening in for them?

Watching films, eating shitty food and being gay and stupid

6. Double Date? Thoughts? Who?

Jeric double date with Rachel and whatever bitch they try and set her up with real (also I’m pushing lesbian Rachel)

7. Do they want (have) kids?

Yea :)))

8. Have an AU thought?

I’ve got a boy meets world remake in my mind and heart (and google docs) if that counts, but so far I haven’t come up with any of my lil batshit completely disconnected shit yet

9. If they got engaged… who proposed?

Jack,,,,

10. How do they deal with the other’s family?

I feel like jack would kinda wanna impress Alan and Amy but overall he gets along with them and like,,, Shawn likes Eric and that’s all that rly matters

11. What is their love language?

Both prob mostly quality time but Eric also probably physical touch

12. How are their communication skills?

Average? I feel like Eric is kinda defined BY his emotional intelligence so that helps but they’ve got their issues (specifically cause of the time gap thing)

13. A little personal… but… Hot and Steamy or Soft and Tender?

Haven’t thought too much about this and if I’m being real idk if I wanna

14. How did they first meet?

K that one is just canon, shoutout to Cory for introducing them, he is a real supporter of the lgbtq+ community

15. Why do they like each other?

They both kinda bring something to each other that they themselves don’t have so they kinda balance each other out and bring out the best in each other because of that, I think that’s kinda why they like each other???? Cause of the differences and new perspectives and shit idk

17. Morning rituals?

Thinking about adult jeric, y’all they have real jobs now and Eric probably has to get up early as fuck, I doubt he’s at all functional when he first gets up, my guy is like “five more minutes” when he’s literally a senator, jack probably read some article once about the healthiest morning routine and has tried to abide by that ever since

18. Evening rituals?

Mfs watch tv and films till one of them falls asleep and I really believe that

19. How are they at parties or gatherings?

Jacks mostly cool and normal, Eric makes things fucking crazy/pos

20. Most cuddly?

ericericeric

21. Movie Night?

Of course they do that shit, oh to be a fly on the wall well they decide to watch a horror film 😔😔😔

22. Who is the photo bug?

Prob Eric but I could see it being jack

23. How well do they know each other’s favorite foods?

Pretty well probably they literally live together (side note but Eric’s either the type of mf to eat like three different type of foods with very little variety or the type of mf to have a new food he’s obsessed with every other week no I’m not elaborating)

24. What do their texts look like?

Adult jeric time :)))) jack has that stereotypical old man texting style, Eric does that weird thing my grandma does where it’s like “congrats on the show today🏄‍♀️🌈🍰”

25. Parenting style?

Dude Eric would literally be such a good dad, fun parent, Eric Matthews be my dad challenge, I think Jack might be worried about fucking up but overall I think he’s do a good job, he’d make sure that kid didn’t die

26. If they have kids, who named them? What would they name them?

I’m not entirely sure?

27. Who brings home an illegal pet?

Eric if either of them (Eric’s not rly a pet guy and jack has a hard enough time taking care of himself)

28. Who takes the longest getting ready to leave?

I’m not sure, this could go either way

29. Who said I Love You, first?

I like the idea of it being jack but it was prob Eric

30. When did they realize they loved each other?

Eric was prob during witches of pennbrooke cause,,,, I love that episode and I like the implications of it,,,, jack I legit think was probably after the end of the series but before girl meets world (I mostly like to think this cause it makes me sad 👍)

[sebastiansluts]

Happy new year rosee (ik it’s v late but better late than never) anyway what’s up? Who anon jerk dare come and bring any negativity to my precious rose? Imma throw hands 🤺🤺🤺

I miss you haven’t been able to send you any messages since I’m at my grandma house and I’m restraining myself from reading any smut so I won’t be horny but I’m dying to read new fics from you gosh I wish I’m back at my dorm reading your amazing writings also might thinking I would dye my hair blonde balayage this January for the new year new me bullshit (not rlly I just wanna be Sebastian Stan’ type 😭😭😭) but I miss dyeing my hair so yeah and also been thinking mafia Nick idk why but I imagine him keeping me as a pet and maybe he’ll fuck other girls but kept me watching and he’ll be so mean abt it but I’m his one and only pet so when the girl he’s fucking started talk shit abt me behind my back he’s like “you ain’t special she is, no one talk shit abt my pet” and then kill her and then just fucks me and when he finally breeds me he just won’t stop being around me and finally just fucks me and only me cause I’m the only one that gets it…

But also I’m craving Daddy Lee who’ll take care of me and again humiliates me in a different way like he fucks me dumb that I said “da…da” instead of daddy accidentally and he’s like “aw you can’t even say daddy fucking pathetic you dumb baby look at you babbling like a pathetic braindead fucktoy baby c’mon say it back im a pathetic braindead fucktoy baby yeah you are fucking useless shit I’m gonna wreck you so bad” cause oh my god that fucking belly is all I want I need a big boy and as always je suis excitée (idk french unless it’s that and voulez vous coucher avec moi)

So yeah my mind is fucked up but it izzz what it izzz. Ps. I used to hate when the ml have other girl but I crave to be humiliated now I don’t mind lol as long as he’s mine is that fucked up? I think that’s fucked up I need to go to a therapy

~sincerely your beluga

Happy New Year hon!!! I hope you had a good one <3 Thank you for defending me, I love you. I've missed you too! I hope you're having a good time even though you're not reading any smut- I'll try to have some more for you to read soon! Haha I say go for it, do the hair change if you've been missing it! I need to redye mine soon, maybe I'll do a dark purple or something! But yeah I feel you on wanting to be Seb's type!!

Mmm mafia!nick is a great one, and I love the humiliation plus protectiveness, it's like, no, only he gets to be a dick to you, no one else. And the giving in at the end to only fucking you, because really, why would he need anyone else when you're willing to do everything and anything?

But ooo daddy lee is so good too because yes he could humiliate so much like that, he'd say how he's so much smarter, he knows what's best for you, and just keeps fucking you until you're flying....

Hahaha love that little bit of french, it's all I know too lol. And so what, your mind is fucked up, my mind is fucked up, we're all fucked up! And I mean, we should all probably see therapists, but that's a whole other issue lol