#my incoherent ramblings

[tr4showl]

Hello hello! Hope you don't mind me asking but I saw your post about Nikis character development (I honestly agree with you, speaking as a NikiP) and I was wondering about your thoughts on the other bees and their character developments?

Hope you don't mind this being dropped off in your inbox 🤭

Hey, sorry for taking an eternity to respond, I haven't been in the best place mentally and I had end of semester stuff to do so I wasn't active for a while.

And dw I don't mind, on the contrary I'm very happy to be able to talk to someone about something I like :)

It's been a while since I read some of the stories and I only read 2 double face stories so far , so I'm worried some of my knowledge may be rusty or incomplete, so feel free to correct me if I got anything wrong.

I'll start off with HiMERU since he's been on my mind lately. I like bullying him but I actually think he's a great character and I enjoy his character even in stories I don't like. I like how he initially used to view Crazy:B as a unit he's stuck to and was trying to keep his distance from them but eventually he grew closer to them and started working to help and protect his unit despite claiming that he's only concerned with upholding HiMERU's image as the perfect idol and wouldn't hesitate to drop them if they get in the way, and even started participating in their silly shenanigans. He also breaks his perfect idol HiMERU facade more often now is slowly becoming more comfortable expressing his emotions and personality even if they're ugly don't always align with the image of perfection. Even though he took on the role of HiMERU to appease his ego and as a way to cope with his guilt towards what happened to Kaname , he still deeply cares about him and wishes for his dream to come true even if it's partially and it's very tragic that the Tojo siblings never got the chance to meet in person untill Kaname was already lost. :,( That being said, Merumeru (that's what I usually called the current HiMERU) still has a long way to go as person and he still has to come clean about his real identity to the people close to him, but I'm happy that he's found a group of people who he's comfortable with and who will accept him no matter what. I really hope we get to see more development on the Kaname situation as well Merumeru's internal conflicts in !!! ( But I really want to see Niki and Kohaku get their spotlight before that because recently Crazy:B has started to feel more and more like the Rinne and HiMERU show as far as character importance goes ngl)

Now on to the one and only leader Rinne Amagi. When I first got into Enstars I genuinely used to hate him based on the way the fandom talks about him and the few screenshots of his out of pocket behavior, not to mention his general character archetype being one I usually dislike in media. But after actually sitting down and reading the stories he slowly became one of my faves. He is initially introduced as a complete jerk who's a piece of shit towards people even the ones close to him but throughout the main story it becomes clear that a lot of his more extreme behavior is an act made to turn people against him as well as a facade he puts up to appear more powerful and in control. Still, Rinne is also a massive troll who genuinely likes messing around and sometimes he can end up coming off as dismissive of other people's feelings (which is something I would really like the writers to elaborate more on that and to actually address this in an interesting way) Despite that, it's clear that he genuinely cares about the people close to him and would go to great lengths for them even if his way of showing affection can seem a bit backwards sometimes because he struggles with being vulnerable with other people. He is initially someone who takes on burdens all on his own avoiding any help from others but the bees insist on sharing his burdens and are here for him when he falls , which is something he slowly has to accept. I also really like how critical he is of the idol industry and how he genuinely brings up some very good points about how exploitative and shitty it is. I know that due to the nature of Enstars as an idol gacha game limits that type of criticism and makes some of it fall flat , but I appreciate it being there and I like that we have characters like Rinne consistently voicing out these thoughts. I also really resonated and even related and even with his initial situation of growing up in a traditional and conservative society that ostracizes and alienates you for who you are while still having great expectations of you, and the desire to run away from there only to be faced with different struggles and still feeling out of place (but that aspect is greatly undermined after the bullshit plot twist of the super advanced secret society the Amagis apparently grew up in , that literally contradicts everything we knew about the village beforehand and heavily fucks up the character motivation for both of the brothers. Not to mention Rinne's relationship with Hiiro and Niki, who are two of the closest people to him, is treated like a complete fucking joke in that godforsaken event story)

Next, we got Kohaku who to be honest was the one I knew the least about for the longest time. But I still love him dearly, though. To start Kohaku stood out to me from the other younger characters in ES with how mature he presents himself to be but eventually it's clear that he's still an inexperienced and ignorant teen who's trying to navigate the world which can be even more difficult considering he grew up in isolation with only a screen as a connection with the outside world as well as how dangerous Kohaku's family is. I like how Kohaku is aware of how little he knows and accepts the help he's offered and he even reaches out for it, though he still has moments of stubbornness because he's still an angsty teen at the end of the day. I love his dynamic with the other bees, who all treat him like their little brother especially Merumeru and even though they constantly dote on him, they still respect him as a person and help him grow as a person. On a side note, I also appreciate his pretty unique dynamic with Madara who despite usually actually like he's everyone's Mama towards his juniors, interestingly enough treats Kohaku like an equal as his unit mate which I think may be in part because they both have pretty dark family backgrounds, as well as the nature of the jobs double face are given. And kohaku is usually shown to be the more emotionally mature one in the unit who tries to communicate as opposed to Madara who would rather take on the job himself without saying anything and tends to run away from important conversations.

Sorry if this is too long to read and comes off as incoherent at times, I just tried to scramble my brain for what to say and I'm kinda bad at forming coherent thoughts. Also I'm not too confident on my knowledge on double face so I better go and read more about them.

Sorry again for taking too long to respond to your ask.

[unrestrainedbalderdash]

Doing a piece of art and thinking "this is so fun, this is why I do art" like I am having a blast rn

[arcane-gold]

my pookie bear <3333

[ramshitposts]

so obsessed with 12 he only interacted with queer women (and nardole) and then regenerated into a queer woman like wth was that

[chiricat]

ryomina demons are winning

[bunnyreaper]

john price is nothing without his girl.

(18+/mdni, f!reader, daddy kink (but no ageplay), dom/sub, legal age gap)

john never realised just what being a daddy could mean until he met you. he'd hesitated so much about starting a relationship with someone so much younger, but your sparkling doe eyes, darling personality, and schoolgirl-like crush on him were too much to resist.

you were mature beyond your years, having adapted to a world that wasn't so kind, and you could easily hold your own in any part of life--but you didn't really want to, and you were sick of pretending. john didn't want you to, john could provide the solace you needed--a space for both of you to be your true selves.

he's always been a caring, kind, and protective lover, but you send all his instincts into overdrive--especially since you never resist them. despite everything you are, you blush when he opens doors for you, carries something heavy for you, always says 'ladies first'. every time he treats you like you're something delicate, you let yourself be cradled in his safe hands, and that feeling of being responsible for you in every way is just so fucking addictive to him. once he's had a taste of being your guiding light, he just can't let it go.

he's your big, strong protector too, always there to watch over you--an ever present hand on the back of your neck as you walk around town, or his sudden appearance if someone is making you uncomfortable. god fucking forbid anyone tries to come to close to you.

he easily picks you up and cradles you whenever you crave his cuddles, or he's carrying you to the bedroom to have his way with you. you've never felt as safe as you do in his arms, and he encourages your addiction to his touch--whether it's just his soothing strokes through your hair or the feeling of his cock making its home inside you.

everything he does is in service of you, just as everything you do honours him. he treasures the gift of your submission, and knows the way he earns such a privilege is by fulfilling your every need, as you always do the same for him. you compliment each other so naturally, he leads, you follow. he commands and you obey, because you know in your soul he only ever has your best interests at heart.

but at his core, he would do anything for you. this man is not afraid to fall to his knees to help you put on your shoes, would shield you from the rain if it meant keeping you dry, get his knuckles bloody and bruised if it meant keeping yours so delicate and clean.

it's strange how he can feel such an affinity to a name that isn't really his, and yet when daddy leaves your lips, it calls out to him like anything else. when he calls you his, you've never felt more like you belong.

[soni-dragon]

“and what if who and what i am is going to get you killed?”

+ ramblings :)

[silliestofdragonets]

hc jonny d'ville eats the weirdest shit for funsies. Not necessarily weird food combos, but straight up humanly unconsumable objects (wires, plastic, colorful bugs, ect). He's eaten a whole roll of butter paper. Just cause he could.

I think it starts off as morbid curiosity when he's first mechanized to test out the limits of his body. Later on, he just does it cause he can. Or for shock value. Does it end up with him dead 85% of the time? Maybe.

His crewmates chase after him, yelling "WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR MOUTH. SPIT IT OUT!!!!" for the first millennium or so, but later on start making bets with him on it. Hey I bet this colorful alien bug will kill you in under two hours. Yes I'll give you my share of the booze if it doesn't. Raphaella has a bunch of journals detected to the things he's eaten and their effects.

[glitterghost]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like there is a particular kind of sadness (or loneliness, if you will) that ace/aro folk feel.

[ketchup-the-kid]

you know he would say that to splinter

[tr4showl]

Help. Just opened tw****r for once and the first thing I see is explicit Am****est Fanart.

I think I'm gonna barf rn

[unrestrainedbalderdash]

I love how tournaments (when you're not going feral and decide to have fun instead) really help bring people together and also inspire creativity, like I'm making propaganda getting hyped for one poll in the Aroace Swag Competition that could be ages away for my secondary blorbo where I could be the only one who sees him as aroace, but I'm still getting hyped, and also the Most Adorable Riddler competition made me make a piece of art that I'm really proud of, so yeah, now that I've realised that it's not about the polls and it's about the experience I am now having a blast (also I'm getting unbelievably hyped for whenever I'll get to start aroacewald posting

[gayghostrights]

thinking about John Doe and the dark world as a metaphor for addiction/relapse.

How circumstance and trauma pushed him to do something he told himself he’d never do again, and how he has to live with the consequences and the memories, even though he’s working to not be that person anymore.

And how much shame he carries about the things he’s done, because even if he was pushed to do them, he still did them. To him, he still made that choice, and he has to bear the weight of that.

Thinking about 43, in particular, where the witch is trying to tell John that all he was is all he’ll ever be. That, despite the work he’s put into bettering himself, he’ll only be seen as his mistake in the eyes of some.

And it just feels really meaningful that Arthur’s love is what saved him, in this context. That being forgiven and loved unconditionally, even though he’s made mistakes and hurt people, is how he can cope with the memories of what he’s done. It’s how he can stop himself from slipping back into being someone he doesn’t want to be, even when it’s hard.

love isn’t what makes him better, but it’s what makes him want to work to be better. It doesn’t undo what he’s done but it allows him to live with it.

I just think it’s interesting to read this as an addiction narrative, because so often addicts are dismissed because they’re addicts. Regardless of how much we’ve healed or how far we’ve come, there are some people who will never see beyond our addiction and will force their perspective onto us. Some people hold no compassion for us because they think we’ve made the choice, and think that the harm that resulted from that “choice” makes us unredeemable.

and to see John receiving Arthur’s support and love despite what he’s done, or what he was pushed to do, really reflects how important support is to recovery. Arthur doesn’t absolve John of his mistakes, he doesn’t dismiss the harm he caused, but he doesn’t hold it against him. He knows John is more than what he’s been, he knows John is capable of change and a good person in spite of it, he knows John is capable of being better. Only John can do the work of becoming who he wants to be, but Arthur’s love and support makes the work a little more bearable.

[sapphicseasapphire]

Thank you for one year!!!

On September 25th, 2023, I posted the original character sheets for the Chain as Cryptids au. It had been a brainworm for much longer than that, but one year ago today, I mustered up the courage to share my silly little ideas. And I think that might have been the best thing that’s ever happened to me!

Over the course of this past year, I have found so much joy in these little guys. Looking back at the oldest CAC posts, I’m really proud of how my art has improved, I feel more comfortable sharing my stories, and I have made some of my closest friends. So to everyone who’s stuck around for this year and everyone that’s come more recently, thank you so much for allowing me to create! This has meant the world to me.

I will be taking CAC art requests to celibrate, but I’m going to be very real with you guys- Echoes of Wisdom comes out tomorrow. Please be patient with me if it takes me a while to draw haha. I fully intend to be sucked headfirst into that game!

So if you have a request, please send it in an ask so I can respond to it directly! I’ll pick as many as I can and I’ll draw them as soon as I have the time!

[deanofsam]

for me it’s not really about the sex. it’s about the smiles and the laughter the unshed tears in their eyes the white knuckle gripping of each other bc they’re all that they have left and they’re the only ones who can possibly understand each other. it’s about their lives being more intertwined than any two people’s have any right to be, it’s about how they want and they want and they want, but they don’t know exactly what they want from each other, not really, they just know they want to be close (need to be close), side by side, they don’t even need to be touching necessarily, though they do, just have the reassurance that they could if they needed to, it’s their inescapable codependency with each other, it’s the long searching gazes, it’s the silent don’t leave me don’t leave me in the clench of a jaw, stuffed down and unsaid because it’s something that can’t be said, not with them, it’s the looking away when the feelings of love-ache-want become too overwhelming and threaten to bubble up out of their chest and spill out all over the inside of their stupid car, it’s about losing their minds whenever the other is threatened and throwing all their principles and morality to the wayside until they’re safe and together again, it’s about knowing each other in the small things it’s about doing anything for each other in the big things, it’s about there ain’t no me if there ain’t no you, it’s about dying for each other over and over, it’s about their lives being empty without the other even when everything else about their life is better, it’s about dean and sam and sam and dean and all that they mean to each other. and yeah. sometimes it’s also about the sex

[anaphoraholic]

i feel that light cant forge deeper, more sincere relationships/bonds with people that dont match his freak um i mean. his intelligence and mental level. he meets L and is surprised to find someone he can finally understand and who can finally understand him - almost like this is his first and/or only chance at a meaningful relationship with another person - but he is, like many that grew up 'gifted', unused to having any competition for being at the top, so L is just as threatening as he is enticing. L is similarly unused to competition! He is the world's THREE best detectives!!

But they are just as much rivals, threats to each other, as they are reliant on each other for human connection and mental stimulation... tl;dr this is one way out of many that they totally match eachothers freak trust