#my imposter syndrome is kicking me hard

[missbiddle]

life, huh

[caprart1]

Vindictive god

[nataliescatorccio]

mood today is feeling deeply inadequate and always the forgotten person yay!!!

[that-was-anticlimactic]

one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t

[thebeths]

sooooo crazy... I got no fucking clue man

[gothcsz]

𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 — made by yours truly 🖤

hiiii 🖤 alright you guys, i’m just gonna go ahead and say that i haven’t been in this fandom for long… like at all (five months give or take… she’s just a baby!) so i don’t have many works yet, but @jolapeno was kind enough to tag me in this amazing idea of hers, so i had to jump on it! it’s hard for me to compliment myself, and the imposter syndrome do be kicking my ass when i see/read all the beautiful fics that get written and posted (for free, mind you) on the daily—but i will say i haven’t had this much fun in fandom in so long, so for that, i thank all of you for making my experience so nice 🖤 on top of participating in this self lovin’ tootathon, i have also just hit a follower milestone that genuinely brings tears to my eyes! who would have thought that me thirsting over my favorite fictional man would bring so many readers, friends, and overall cool people my way? not me, that’s for sure! i’ve definitely grown as a writer in the small time that i’ve been here and have completely fallen in love with this hobby again, all thanks to the support from each and every single one of you. i appreciate you guys more than you know 🖤 (oh brother, she’s crying again. she being me) anywho, enough yapping, here’s a few of my faves from this year (these past 5 months) and why i love ‘em so much

𝒇𝒂𝒏𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒔 (they're not finished i knowww sorryyyyy but my god do i love them all) :

thoroughfare — i say this all the time but fuck, dude, this fic is the reason i even decided to start posting my writing in this fandom. it's based off this story i wrote almost two years ago and everything about it is so near and dear to my heart. the horror/thriller aspect of it, my side characters, the world building, javier and paloma's relationship, javier's entire characterization... *sighs lovingly* my beloved readers, you guys are literally so strong and have an extra special place in my heart for enjoying this story because i know it's kinda niche and not for everyone so, thank you for supporting your girl 🥹

fantasize — point me in the direction of a bigger ariana grande stan than me... right, right.... you can't! literally saw the music video for the boy is mine and immediately had to javier peña–fy it, lmfao! it was fun switching the roles and having the reader do the stalking and lying. these two freaks make my clit throb and i love their dynamic so. fucking. much. so hot! IS SOMEBODY GONNA MATCH MY FREAK? IS SOMEBODY GONNA MATCH MY NASTY? so glad gatita finally got that ring 💍

unscripted desire — 😏 this fic put me on the map, lowkey, so for that i am forever grateful! what started off as a silly little prompt has now turned into a full blown fic that, to me personally, gives off major rom com vibes, aha. i think reader here is my absolute fave because she's so stubborn and just a badass! sometimes i feel like javi is a little too ooc but then i read everyone's comments and i'm like okay nvm i'm just in my head 🖤

neighbors series — this one right here is amazing because of how collaborative it is between myself and my anons/readers like every time i get a prompt/idea for it in my inbox, i literally lose my mind because it's so good. the yearning, the angst, the drama... bro, i compare it in my head to euphoria s2 and how everyone was watching the new episodes every sunday, live tweeting/blogging what was happening and having discourse around it. that's how i feel every time i post for our neighbors, i literally love interacting with all of you! this is our novela fr

𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒔 / 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒔 :

𝐈𝐈𝐈. i wake up in the middle of the night thinking about fucking/dating modern day marcus acacius and lucius verus. that is all. I LOVE THIS FIC SO BAD POSSIBLY MY BEST WRITING TO DATE. okay, sorry for the caps, i just had to say that lol

husband!javier peña seducing you at the bar pretending to be a stranger 🙂‍↕️

purgatory aka my threesome fantasy. i love women, halloween, and javier peña so this is just super indulgent for myself, hehe

worst behavior. something about javier peña being a secret service agent just really did it for me, i fear. plus, it was my first time participating in a writing challenge on here so consider that cherry popped!

javier peña has a panty kink. that is all.

once upon a time kat wrote for joel miller and there are times were i reread this and think 'wow, the things i'd do to have joel fuck me at a national park'

𝒎𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒃𝒐𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔 / 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒔 :

being a secretary for javier peña and teasing the fuck out of him 🖤

a little webweaving-esque edit for neighbor!javi that i stare at all the time tbh

oh to be a black girl dating javier peña! there's a lot to be said about representation in fandom spaces in general, so to that i had to make something for my fellow black girls who might not feel very seen around here! i do plan on making more, and i love how romantic this moodboard came out

general moodboard for my fic thoroughfare that i think encapsulates the vibes pretty well, hehe

chapter eight moodboard for thoroughfare. i'm so in love with them

chapter nine moodboard for thoroughfare. the angst! the visuals are exactly what was in my head while writing it

western nights edit for thoroughfare. this song within the context of the fic is just chef's kiss! i love the photos i used here

𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒔 :

mis primas (gn), that's what you all are to me! i really wish i could tag each follower i have, each anon that's sent me fucking gold in my inbox, but alas i can't; so here are some of the people that make my heart go boom boom boom every time i see them in my notes or just people that i admire from afar 🖤 also consider this a tag to do this if you're a writer!

@almostempty , @auteurdelabre , @persephone-girl , @correapunk , @littlefruitbowl , @dontlookatme121 , @thundermartini , @joelmillerisapunk , @almostfoxglove , @la-vie-est-une-fleur29 , @prose-before-hoes , @letsmeetintheafterglow , @yxtkiwiyxt , @ovaryacted , @bambisweethearts , @thereaperisabitch , @probablyreadinsmut , @itwasntimethatdidit40 , @pedgito , @joelsrose , @sanarsi , @maiamore , @penascigarette , @theetherealbloom , @swankyorange , @cowboy-like-m3 , @hoelaris , @king-simp , @wildemaven , @professionalpromqueen , @amanitacowboy , @sassyhonks , @syd-djarin , @angiewatson , @stargirlfics , @asobeeee , @kirsteng42 , @joelssluttyknee , @hotgirlbedtimescenarios , @javierpena-inatacvest , @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler-pascal , @jay-zzle , @miss-oranje-disco-dancer , @bbyanarchist , @greenwitchfromthewoods , @myownwholewildworld

if i forgot to tag you, i am so sorry okay! but just know: i see your comments ladies (gn), and they make me smile. i'm lurking and i'm stalking when you least expect it. but lately I've just been takin care of my business and gettin my grind up, but i promise you, i'll be back to play and get my flirt on 💋

[blood-starved-beast]

Melinoe: Care to cite your sources on how the people that care for me don't actually do so? In 12 pt Times New Greek font and MLA format? 🧐

Eris, who is not at all projecting her own issues here and lowkey expected some meeting in the middle and did not expect Melinoe to respond this way: Oh you know...

Anyways shout out to Melinoe for this level of self-worth. When you have imposter syndrome it can be hard not to fall into bad habits like doubting the love of those around you. Doesn't mean she picks up on Eris's whole deal though (damn the autism is strong with this interaction).

I wonder if this is part of Eris's history though. Back when the house was still Nyx's and Eris was born during that time when Nyx was swamped with work and kids. People smiling at the youngest kid then being kicked out cause she's Strife and the new order that no doubt was established after Hades joined the business didn't allow for that kind of disorder. Like I wonder...

Cause it's interesting. Eris the goddess of discord not only embodies the conflict as we know it but the negative emotions that drive competition if I'm reading my greek myths right. So if you see someone winning Eris is there whispering in your ear to covet their position and do better (metaphorically speaking of course). So that could be the case here with Mel (and in a more abstract sense, the motivation for the fights in the Beach) but also. Could have that been her role in the House pre-Hades? "Inspiration" through spite but when that's not wanted anymore gets kicked from the place? She does have a strong animosity towards the House after all.

[taashyvashedan]

Author Ask Tag

Thank you for the tags @biowaredisasterbisexual and @thedissonantverses! I have one new story in the early planning stages. We'll see if it makes it out of that stage, but this will be good.

What is the main lesson of your story?

That even when navigating abysmal circumstances and emotionally heartwrenching situations, you can retain who you are and see better for yourself.

What did you use as inspiration for your story?

I haven't written anything for my Rook yet. I just now over the past month have started even considering a backstory or fleshing out her personality. So, the motivation to actually work an OC from the ground up is challenging. Zaki's backstory is based off the plot of Vinland Saga, one of my top 10 anime. Toss in some bits of Hajime no Ippo and you got the story.

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, or help them grow as a person?

Future Rook -- aka Zaki; is trying to escape. Understand the reasonings behind certain actions given her young age. Understand that the world at large isn't necessarily something to fear. Finding moments of whimsy in scenes of war.

For me--the writer? Hah, honestly let's be real. Probably whatever I talk about in therapy. It's hard for me to separate Rook as completely distant from me. There are elements to Zaki's story that would reflect some of my own past traumas. I think it would be a healthy way to get some of that out.

How many chapters is your story going to have?

Oh God, I don't even want to put a number on it. Probably 10 or less.

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

It’s fanfiction for Veilguard, but it wouldn't have any canon characters unless they're casually mentioned by non-canon characters. It would read more as a completely original story. I'd post it here and on Ao3.

When did you start writing?

I started in high school when I discovered the wonder that was forum based text RPGs. Eventually I moved to LiveJournal. I did that for years, well until after college.

After that..I just stopped? Stopped reading as much. Stopped creative writing. DAV is slowly dragging me back, but I still have a lot of hangups. I wouldn't say I'm 100% back on the saddle.

Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr?

It's okay to have imposter syndrome. It's okay to feel like your writing is shit. It's okay to not care about the 'toxic positivity' of "everyone is the same and equal and all fics are lovely!" Sometimes it doesn't feel that way. Sometimes you wanna go into believing that kicking and screaming.

Thing is, feel shitty as all fuck but still DO it. Plan it out. Outline. Write just one scene. Talk about your idea with a mutual. Just...express it. It doesn't have to look like the 'completed' fic that goes towards your word count.

You get to define what creativity looks like to you. What writing looks like for you. 500 words? Great. 500k epic? Also great.

Embrace the highs and lows. Feel that you deserve to express yourself in one of the most vulnerable and archaic ways known to man, regardless what you're feeling on the inside. Those feelings aren't going to go away, so learn to embrace and sit with them. They can be with you, just not define you.

Words matter. You matter.

No Pressure Tag: @neve-gallus-girl-detective @gracekayauthor

[youalreadyhavefullresults]

more success stories

During the time I wasn't as active on Tumblr, I was actually going through pretty difficult circumstances in the 3D. There had been some issues with my enrollment, and I was about to be kicked out of the university I was at. Why did this happen in the first place?

Despite me manifesting that I was at my desired university earlier in the year, I would constantly feel imposter syndrome, as if everyone was so much smarter than me, as if I didn't belong there. I would constantly be feeling inferior to everyone, and I just assumed that it was a normal feeling to have. I won't go into too many details, but eventually, I had a month before I was to be kicked out of the uni.

Obviously, my first reaction was panic, and then I started to calm down. If my thinking led me into this situation, then couldn't I just manifest myself out of it? At this time, I was more of an affirm and persist kind of person, but no matter how much I affirmed for hours, nothing happened. At this point, I had a week left, and I was starting to freak out.

That's when I stumbled onto Edward Art, someone who preached the use of states and knowing that it's done. And that's when I realized. For the entire time I had been affirming for hours, I was treating affirming as a way to get something I wanted. It was a method to get me what I want.

But affirming, visualizing, scripting, subliminals, or any method, isn't meant to be done to get something. It's to make you feel as if you already have it. Persisting in that is what will actually get you your manifestations. I'm still a big advocate for affirming, but make sure it's being used to remind of your desire rather than get you your desire.

So I followed this advice, and with a week left, I stopped affirming for hours. Whenever the thought passed my mind, I'd only think in my favor, and then let it go. It was all natural thoughts, to the point where I couldn't tell whether the 3D or 4D was real anymore. It's hard to fully fall into your imagination when there's this inherent fear that it won't manifest, and I found this video to be really helpful. I soon started to know that my 4D was more real than my 3D, and eventually, within that week, I got big movement, and I was allowed to stay.

Fast forward to 2 months later, no one around me ever found out this happened, and I am thriving in my classes now.

tldr; any method is to remind you of your desire, not give you your desire.

-cinna

[yuurivoice]

A lot of creatives have a point where they have that sorta "Nobody's gonna wanna see this/nobody will care" feeling about their work.

I was wondering if you've ever struggled with that sort of feeling, be it about your audio content or even just other creative projects? If so, how did you end up overcoming it in the end? Do you ever feel that way these days?

Only if you wanna answer ^^

Oh plenty of times! Whether it's due to imposter syndrome, or just a general numbers slump, or something you worked really hard on just not doing as well as you wanted it to...plenty of ways to end up with that sorta hopeless feeling.

This is one of the times where it truly matters why you started doing the thing in the first place, when your intentions get checked. That big ass filter will hit you eventually. Are you here because you wanna create, or because you want number go up? Would you be doing this even if there was no compensation, or are you tapping out the moment you aren't profitable?

So you take a deep breath, feel bad for a little bit, then take a look inwards. What could you do better? What can you change or do in addition to your current approach? What are others doing that's working, and why isn't it working for you?

Sometimes auditing yourself to see what's not working can be rough. Looking at your peers might press on your insecurities. But if you actually want to improve in terms of reach and growth, you can't just piss and moan about algorithms, or how other people are successful, or any of that.

You can always improve in some way or another, and there are always alternative paths to success. Whatever that might look like for you!

When Finn's content was first coming out he didn't do super great. He was cute but he wasn't doing numbers. It bummed me out and soured me on pushing him real hard at the time. Years later, his compilation with many of the same videos I didn't love ended up being my first video over a million views.

There is ALWAYS a way to make shit work. It might not be right when you expected it to be, but it can surprise you if you keep hustling.

A lot of the recent changes I made with thumbnails and other stuff came about because I was frustrated in this exact way. 7 years into it and I was still looking for ways to get better and kick more ass. It'll happen again and again because I'm here for this shit and it's not just a job, it was a hobby that I fell in love with and take pride in. I like getting better, whether it's in the business side or if it's my writing and acting.

But I've never immediately spring back from that initial feeling of frustration. I'll mope and feel bad and get frustrated and upset.

Then it's over, and I get back in the saddle.

So keep on trying, keep on creating, and try to find the joy in it all!

[velvvetcat09]

sometimes my imposter syndrome kicks in and starts gnawing all my progress. i feel like i’ve done something bad with my art when it gains attention, i feel like taking away attention from other people, i feel like an outsider intruding whenever i get into a new fandom, place. i feel like i’ve insincere all this time

part of me knows that’s not true, that i’ve done my best. and it’s always been those two sides battling inside me. i feel like i cant tell this to anyone that i know, not to family, not to friends. i feel like wearing a transparent mask all the time.

i feel so bad asking for validation, reassurance, again and again. i crave them so much that i do anything i could do to gain that recognition, but only to feel like a total fraud after that bc i feel like i have ulterior motives. i don’t, but maybe i did, i really don’t know, i hate that i keep feeling like this after everything i’ve done.

i’m so sorry if what i’ve done, what i’ve created has annoyed, offended, hurt you. i’m sorry if i’ve unconsciously taken something from you, maybe there’s people out there that felt that about me. i’m so sorry.

it might be just my stupid brain, in constant battle with my rationality. in the midst of all, i’m trying to be a good person, reliable, responsible, capable. it’s really hard when you’re your worst enemy, critics, hater. if there’s anyone that hate me, rest assured i hate myself more than you ever will.

[rinamars]

Sorry this is unprompted but i need a safe space to dump all my Erwin love that I don't know what to do with lmao. I'm so down bad for this man I need help.😭

You just KNOW this man would make a great devoted husband. I KNOW his natural scent and pheromones would smell sooo goooood. You KNOW this man got a dig ol bick. You KNOW he's a great learner and would be so attentive and intuitive when pleasing you. You KNOW that behind that stoic facade he's a big ol softie just aaahhh this man's got me kicking my feet and giggling lmao 😭😭. And while he's a big ol softie at heart you KNOW he can turn on his ruthlessness to dominate you. I just wanna kiss kiss kiss his face. I just wanna rub our faces together like cats. I just wanna lovingly caress those eyebrows. I just wanna hold him and console him over his imposter syndrome and his traumas. I just wanna tell him his father's death isn't his fault. I just wanna tell him his sacrificing his own humanity to save humanity and all his hard work and efforts don't go unnoticed. I just wanna SUCK HIS DICK. I JUST WANNA---

ohhh anon you're in the right place!! you're so real for this. YOU'RE SO REAL

i agree 100%... he'd smell heavenly and he'd be so soft and loving. i too want to minimize his self loathing and spoil him with cuddles and kisses. and also, y'know

(i hereby declare my blog a 100% safe space for the erwin girlies whenever they're in heat)

[sakarrie-creates]

It’s that time of year! Here’s my 2023 art summary! After two years of having to include non-colored pieces, I finally did enough ‘full’ pieces to fill my art summary template! I did have to get a bit creative with the months since I was able to draw a LOT more during the summer, but I’ll take it! Sorry it's a bit blurry. I'm not sure if that's just for the preview or not, but it was a smaller file than normal and since these reflections are 99% for my own interest, I decided it wasn't worth trying to change.

As usual, I got rambly so reflection questions are answered under the cut. The template I used is available here in case anyone else wants to make their own! My fic summary will be coming in a week or so, so stay tuned for the stats and round-up there. :)

What events did you participate in (with art)? Player Appreciation Week, Fandom Trumps Hate, Dear Fellow Traveler (Animatic), Weird People (Editing), SPN Comfortably Queer Zine (dropped), and lots of zine applications for page artist, merch artist, comic artist, and spot artist roles!

What was your biggest challenge this year? While time, like last year, was still a challenge, I think my biggest challenge was a mix of low motivation and an intense perfectionistic mindset. At the start of the year, I got super into TOH and was super hyped about all the zines with apps opening. I really REALLY wanted to get into them and figured I should apply for art too just cause it would increase my overall chances of getting in. After the finale, I did a screenshot redraw that ended up being absolutely fantastic for where my skill level is. I went deeper into rendering than ever before, and somehow it worked for me. 

That probably was the start of my unreasonably high expectations, and I got it into my head that maybe if I could make a whole portfolio of artwork at that quality level, I actually stood a chance at getting into a zine as an artist. From then on, I was hardcore crash-coursing perspective, rendering techniques, and generally trying to improve without allowing room for mistakes. While I do think it helped me grow a lot, it burnt me out so I struggled to work on stuff past summary (when all the zine apps were) and even dropped from the SPN Comfortably Queer Zine cause my imposter syndrome was so strong. (Though that was also partially because it was a ‘sign-up and you’re in’ zine, so they never saw my art during the application process and had no way of knowing if I was good enough.

What was something you were surprised by? I’m pretty sure I discovered the perspective tool is CSP this year! CSP has so many tools I’m not aware of (despite watching tons of tutorials and guides), so it wasn’t super surprising but it was nice. I have to say, they’re a serious hassle to work with and require a higher understanding of vanishing points and such than I currently have, but I could see it being very useful for future scene art pieces.

Did you try anything new this year?

Yes! This year I kicked down the door to the merch world and have been collecting and designing throughout the year. Though the designs have mostly just been for zine app portfolio’s, everything has worked out really well for me and I hope to produce charms for my collection as I improve my skills. Where do you think you most improved? Definitely my confidence in rendering! And probably my rendering itself too. I did a ton more pieces with it this year and it’s definitely a favorite part of the art process for me. I think I’ll have a lot more fun with it this year too, since I’m trying to keep it lower pressure, so I can experiment more to find out what brushes and styles I like most. What are you most proud of? I think I’m most proud of how ambitious I was with my zine apps. Though I didn’t get into any for art and it burned me out a fair bit, I did a lot of hard work and made pieces I can be mostly happy with. As for specific pieces, I’m very proud of my animatic clip for the Dear Fellow Traveler MAP (which is what the Belos art from the summary is from). My portion was about 5 seconds with 24 fully colored and shaded frames. A few of those were moving frames too, so the end result is the closest thing to actual animation I’ve done. I also really like the rendering on the Huntlow Epilogue art and generally how the Steve&Matt hug turned out.

How’d this year compare to your 2023 goals? I honestly couldn’t remember what my goals were, but all things considered, I didn’t do too bad! Thankfully past-Sakarrie was wise and made it a bullet list so I can just check things off. Met: -Player Appreciation Week -Add to zine portfolio -Apply to at least one zine as an artist (fine if don’t get accepted) -Keep experimenting with backgrounds and shading -Pull out some old WIPs -Build more consistency of style

The checked off ones I definitely met, so good for me! This was a very zine-focused year, so I way exceeded those goals. The last two I did do, but they’re a bit subjective. Specifically, I think the ‘WIPs’ I was referring to were old sketches, but most of the old WIPs I revisited were already colored and I was either adding rendered or cleaning them up for zine usage. As for style, I’m REALLY bad at telling haha. That said, my characters seem reasonably similar when I draw them, so I’m going to tentatively count it. Kinda: -One fully colored piece per month

I’m gonna give myself a half check on this one. I didn’t have a fully colored piece every month, but I did have over 12 fully rendered pieces in the end, several of which had backgrounds. So while I didn’t meet the letter of the goal, I feel like I met the spirit of it.

Did Not Meet: -Finish Huntlow comic -30 minutes animatic digitalize rough draft -Maybe make some fanart of my favorite fics

These don’t shock me. They’re all personal projects and this was a very external-goal-driven year for me. The Huntlow comic is a big love of mine but it’s definitely ambitious for where my skill is. I’ve got the whole thing messy-sketched and most of it has been clean sketched, but the jump from that to lineart is gonna be hard, and I have no idea what I’d be doing with color since the panels don’t have a background. That said, I do feel like it’s some solid work and I adore the angst vibe of it, so maybe I’ll get it done one day. I could also see myself posting it as a messy lineart comic so that others could enjoy the concept being executed in case it never gets finished.

As for the 30 Minutes animatic, I still 100% intend to complete it eventually. I love the way it fits to the music and I’m so proud of the thumbnails. Even if it never becomes a full animatic, I want to digitize the frames and line it up with music so I can share the concept I see in my mind with others. My brain was somewhat overtaken suddenly by TOH this year, so now that that’s settled and I’m hoping to follow my muse more this year, maybe this will be something I can get excited about again.

The fanart for favorite fics is no surprise since it’s kinda the tack on. With low motivation and projects with deadlines that needed my focus, personal art like this was buried way below other priorities. It’s a nice though for sure though.

Alrighty then, now it’s time for 2024 goals!! Oh goodness, I really don’t know what to expect of myself. I definitely am going to try to allow for more personal projects with lower pressure, but I do still have some goals. Hopefully most can be accomplished without applying big pressure though.

2024 Goals:

-Number One Priority: Create for my and don’t put myself in a place to get crazy burnt out and still have requirements. If I meet this goal, then it’s okay if I don’t meet any of the others. (It would be sad.... But I would still count it as meeting overall goals.) -Participate in Summergen and PAW Week (Art or Fic) -Design Handplates charm as anniversary gift (November) -Design CS Charm -Have a fully usable Zine Portfolio (Currently need more merch samples and rendered pieces with backgrounds) -Apply to new TOH Zines or other loved fandom zines. If I end up getting into any, I can pull back, but since that doesn’t seem likely, I want to get into the habit of always being ready to apply with what I have. -Make an ongoing project list to pin to my tumblr. This applies mostly for fics, but that way people coming to my page can see what fandoms I’m actively creating for and what they can look forward to (as well as have an opening to ask questions if they’re interested). -Post more (at least 10 times throughout the year) and add my best pieces to instagram (8+ pieces by end of year). -Do ONE of the following:     1. 30 minutes digitized so it can be shared with music      2. Open Up Your Eyes fully thumbnail      3. Fanworks for other people’s fics      4. Participate in an extra bang or exchange with art      5. Design and manufacture a pin -Play with different brushes and rendering styles -Draw something from scratch every month, no matter how small -Not exactly art, but I want to have a finalized long-term merch display plan for all my items Overall, how’d the year go? I think I did well! I didn’t meet all my goals and I pushed myself too far, but I learned and improved a LOT this year. All things considered, I made pieces that last year me would be blown away by, so I think that’s an automatic win. I’m pretty uncertain on how this next year will go (even more so than last year, which is surprising since I was changing schools last year), but I’m hoping to enjoy what I do and create art semi-regularly. Here’s to 2024!

[chaotic-on-main]

Your sparring post w/ levi finished me off 😭 would u ever consider doing similar stuff for Miche? I love the idea of sparring with him n havin to deploy some seductive techniques to distract him except u actually really like him n it works

Sparring 2.0 | CanonAU Drabble

☾ Pairings ➼ Miche Zacharius x gn!Reader

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fighting, sexual tension, established-ish relationship?, suggestive themes?

☾ A/N ➼ HI! Okay sorry this took so long, I've had the worst bout of reverse imposter syndrome?? Idk if that's even a thing, I just know it was very disorienting to bring up Levi and NOT write about him haha. But I really enjoyed this as a writing exercise, it really brought me out of my comfort zone. The worst thing about how little time we got with Miche is how we don't have a lot to go on with his character. So with that said, this is kind of how I see him and I hope that's okay!!

☾ Word Count ➼ ~1.1k

The mid-afternoon sun bares down on your already sun-kissed face while you watch your boyfriend get his ass kicked by Captain Levi from the fence separating the barracks and training grounds. Miche Zacharius towered over Levi by a good foot and then some, so you couldn't help but laugh out loud when Levi slams Miche into the ground with an arm pinned behind him.

"Are they at it again?" Nanaba leans against the fence next to you, staring into the pit with an amused smile.

"Yeah. Ever since Levi took his place as 'Humanity's Strongest Soldier'," you use air quotes as you speak, shooting Nanaba a matching smile. "Miche has been trying to prove something."

"Prove what? That he’s shit at fighting?" Her comment makes you snort.

“Oh I'm so telling him you said that." You jokingly chide, bumping into her shoulder affectionately.

"Telling who what?” Miche's sudden voice startles you but you're quick to hide your surprise with a teasing smile. He stands in front of you with only the fence separating you two. With his height compared to you, he makes the perfect sun-shield.

"Nothing. Are you two done?" You look around him to see an empty pit, no captain in sight.

"Levi said he needed to make sure his squad cleaned the stables correctly." Miche says as he pulls up the bottom of his shirt to dab at the sweat that drips down his face. You can't keep your gaze from sliding down his toned abs and blonde happy trail as he does so. "Nanaba, did you get those reports on my desk yet?” He drops his shirt much to your dismay.

"On my way to do that now, Sir." She smirks as she gives a half-assed salute then turns and leaves. When she's gone, you look back up to Miche with a cheeky grin.

"How do you get your squad to listen to you right away?” You arch an eyebrow at him.

“They know I’ll kick their ass if they don’t.” His response makes you chuckle.

“Nanaba didn’t seem too terrified of you.” He gives you a lopsided grin before sliding his fingers down your face then under your chin, tilting it up to face him better with your chin now trapped between his thumb and forefinger. He leans down as if to kiss you but stops abruptly, his face hovering right above yours.

"Hmm. Are you?" He traces your bottom lip with his thumb as he eyes your most likely dazed face. His expression is hard to read.

"Should I be?" You swallow hard. He only hums and leans in more.

Miche was never this forward, and by the time you realize his true purpose, it was too late. He grabs you by the waist and wrist then flips you over him into the pit. You've always been known for your agility so you were able to land without issue. The issue was the fact that your 6'4" boyfriend came barreling down at you the second you did.

"Miche, what the-" You barely duck out of the way in time. A rush of wind hits your face from a missed punch. It wasn't as fast as you'd expect from him, which you were grateful for. You jump back to give yourself some space but he fills it just as quickly, putting himself in an offensive stance. You only have time to cross your arms in front of your chest before his knee makes contact. A dull pain makes its way up your arms.

Throwing your whole weight back, you backflip out of the way and feel your feet kick something. Good. If you could just get a little more distance… but it seems like Miche knows your fighting style inside and out because he doesn’t give you a chance to think. He throws up another punch in which you counter it with your forearm, using this moment to pull your knee up into his groin.

As always, he expects it and moves a leg back to avoid your strike. With one swift motion, he grabs your thigh and pulls up which knocks you off balance and you hit the ground with a slam. You’re gasping for air when he pulls himself on top of you and pins your wrists above your head with his knees on both sides of your right leg.

“Ready to give up, yet?” He grumbles down at you.

“H-” You attempt to move an arm and notice there’s quite a bit of give. “Hardly. Why are you going so easy on me?” You quip back, a smirk tugging at your lips. His body shakes above you as he laughs.

“That’s not what you said last nig-” You lean forward to close the distance and lock your lips onto his, cutting him off mid-sentence. He’s so taken aback by the sudden movement, but you feel him relax which is exactly what you were hoping for.

As quickly as possible, you pull your arms out of his grips. This causes an imbalance in his stance, which you were happy to take advantage of. You wrap your legs around him and twist to the side at the same time that you use your hands to push him. He falls without resistance. When you both land, he’s now flat on his back with you straddling his chest with your full weight. You pin his arms to the side and smile down at him innocently.

“Are you sure you’re humanity’s second strongest? We might have to move you down the list.” You chuckle down at him.

“To my defense, I just sparred with Levi.” He grumbles back.

“And yet you still picked a fight… and lost.”

“Okay, okay. Yes, you win. This time.” You lean down to kiss him again, this time with no ulterior motive. After a moment, you break away and sigh. Looking down, you see dirt and dust caking your once pristine civilian clothes.

“Now I need to go clean up. I was headed into town before you decided to beat me up.” With that, you gently pull yourself off Miche and offer a hand for him to help himself up with. He just wipes at the dust on his uniform with his hands, grunting back in response. Turning to leave, you yell over your shoulder as you walk away, “You could help with that, if you want.” A quick pair of footsteps falling in behind you makes you laugh as you lead the way back to the barracks.

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[thesovereignsring-if]

Granted this is anecdotal, but I recently was looking at the choicescript forum for Infamous, another IF that gets a lot of weird, obsessive hate for not being a power fantasy. The people obsessed with hating on Infamous seem to think there's been a wave of "doormat MCs" recently. The less harsh and hateful way to put that is there are less power fantasy IFs coming out right now. I don't know how true that framing is given the people that assert it, but if is true, then hopefully the needless stupid hate sent your way will die down when there's a wave of IFs considered acceptable by these dorks, and we can have our fun with our overly protective brothers and scheming ROs in peace.

Infamous has always been an IF game I've been wanting to read, but I never have the time or chance to do so. I'm currently going through 13League's Superstition right now ( Im only on Season 1 sob), unfortunately I read slowly, but hearing this just bumped it up the list on IFs to read lmaoo!!

It saddens me when authors get blasted for having 'doormat' or 'useless MCs' when its MC (or characters in general) who are victim (and are still victims) and a large part of their journey is grieving, overcoming grief, healing or being trapped in an unhealthy mindset/mental block. Yes I guess, it's fun to have the MC who bottles up everything inside and pretends everything okay and can punch and kick and insult their way as a show of dominance- but there's an underrated beauty in characters who are resilient in the face great adversity, who still choose to be kind and gentle despite being kicked down. It's easy to dip into the deep end, it's harder to stay afloat and trying to find the right balance is hard. Anyway I'm rambling, I'll always stand by authors to make their MCs as they please!! If everyone had the same narrative-dominating MC, we'd be no better than the current oversaturated power-fantasy isekai market lool.

For my own mental health, I don't go looking at any sort of forums/reddit on Interactive Fiction simply out of paranoia and imposter syndrome loooool. So I'm pretty clueless to any and all drama in the IF community. I don't think my poor heart could take it!!! I am a hermit to the core `(*>﹏<*)′ All the messages I get from tumblr and Itch are more than enough for me, so I'm always grateful for whatever shows up, even if the inbox overflows and swallows me whole haha.

I wrote this story because I needed loving, protective older siblings that aren't dead or missing in the narrative! I want healthy family dynamics I can destroy!! Sieghardt and Alberich were written for me!! I will die before I give them up!! 😡😡😡

[arrolyn1114]

1 Year Anniversary "Why Can't You See What You're Doin' To Me?"

According to my AO3, tomorrow, Sept 20, will mark 1 year since I posted chapter 1 of this WIP. Crazy how time flew. When I first started, I thought it was probably going to be a one shot or maybe only a few chapters at most, I never thought it would be 36 chapters and counting. It's been quite a journey to say the least. Before Elvis busted through my writer's block last year, I had little faith in myself that I could write a long story with an intricate, detailed plot since I had been dealing with a long bout of awful writer's block. But, here we are, 1 year later and I have proven to myself that I can in fact write more than just short one shots.

I'm so thankful for every single one of my readers, y'all are amazing and wonderful. I have appreciated and loved every single bit of feedback/interaction that has been sent my way either on AO3 or on here whether it was kudos, likes, reblogs, comments, all of it. Feedback is what keeps us writers going, especially on the hard days where we struggle with self doubt or imposter syndrome. So thank you, thank you very much. ❤ And my quiet readers who might be shy or nervous to interact please know that I appreciate you just as much. I have been a quiet, shy reader too in the past so I understand and that's why ALL of my readers mean the world to me.

I've also been the shy, quiet writer and recently was dragged out of my hermit shell kicking and screaming (kidding, well, only a little kidding haha) and encouraged to be more social on here by some of my fellow amazing and talented writers in this fandom and for that I am so grateful. So thank you especially to @thatbanditqueen, @peskybedtime, @shakerattlescroll, @ellie-24, @be-my-ally, @vintageshanny, @from-memphis-with-love, @whositmcwhatsit for inviting me to participate in writing prompt games and just over all encouragement, y'all are MVPs. Also kudos to @shakerattlescroll 's Canva skills since she made the WIP's cover art.

All that said, once I have finished this WIP, I want to know how much interest there is in more stories with Elvis and my OC Jane. I have already done one for a writing prompt game and I had a lot of fun with that so I would love to do more. I know a couple of my readers have expressed interest in more stories as well. So dear readers, tell me:

(Reader tag list under the cut, as always, let me know if any changes or updates need to be made, thanks!)

@xanatenshi, @karel-in-wonderland, @peskybedtime, @alienelvisobsession, @shakerattlescroll, @deke-rivers-1957, @louisejoy86, @artlover8992, @windsofthesea, @gayforelvis, @elvispresleygf, @notstefaniepresley, @lovininapinkcadillac, @dkayfixates, @jaqueline19997, @presleyenterprise, @crash-and-cure, @literally-just-elvis-fics, @wildhorseinkansas, @tacozebra051, @lookingforrainbows, @kaitaesupremacy, @powerofelvis, @ashtag6887, @myradiaz, @richardslady121, @elvisrealgf, @genetakovicluvr, @thetaoofzoe, @lawdymissclawdy68

@j-v-9-2

@mspoisonivey

@aaron57070

@rainyday10-4

@rocknroll50sep

@dream-in-x-dream2

@sasural

@satisfy-the-crave

@velvetelvis

@sillybookmarks

@everythingelvispresley

@elvisgirly

@1dluver13xx

@thedaisymaisy

@amydarcimarie

@from-memphis-with-love