#my husband is Nightwing on cannabis with ADHD

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My husband named the tracking tag on his backpack Bag Of Holding. His tablet is named Portal Of Remote Viewing. The PlayStation is The Monolith.

Wizard. Discordian Techno Mage. Random number sequences. Spellcasting using the exclamation "Fibonnaci!"

He's such a wildcard. I feel like as a DM he would encourage chaos.

As a player, way back in the early 90s, he was usually Horny Imp With A Heart Of Gold - exactly like Scanlan from Vox Machina. In Vampire: The Masquerade, he would play a Brujah who became an impossible to kill legend. There was a party when they did kill him. His Gangrel broke every rule, angered the stronger characters on purpose, and dodged every assassination attempt. The less said about his Malkavian the better.

Sometimes I think I married an incarnation of Pan.

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Husband is soon leaving for ten days of work. So he made brownies for me. On top of the gumbo, pastrami, herbal tea, smokey chicken, baklava, pizza, avocado salad, quesadilla, and let's not forget the date night at that sushi place.

I feel spoiled. He loves to cook for me, and I feel spoiled. His cooking saved my anorexic ass twenty years ago.

[brightlotusmoon]

Husband made a couple of freshwater pearl necklaces. I think he might be back on his Make Jewelry Out Of Gemstones hyperfixation.

[brightlotusmoon]

Husband slid into the bedroom and spun stiffly in place for two minutes while yelling, "ADHD!!!!!!"

"Yup," I agreed. "That's what you look like on the posters for ADHD."

"Wheeeeee!" he slid into the kitchen. "No more yerba mate for me tonight! More weed!"

"Yes, for the love of autism, more weed for you," I said, patting his head then getting distracted with combining my fingers through his hair which is as long as mine now.

"ADHD," I whispered.

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My spouse and his friends had a Bleeding Jacket in the late 90s. It was a jean jacket from the early 80s that the trio would use to clean any blood that spilled during the Throw Knives At Each Other games.

(Husband's old Tang Soo Do instructor trained with Bruce Lee, so husband got really good at not getting hit with knives especially with how broad his shoulders are)

[brightlotusmoon]

You've heard of Drunken Master.

My spouse does apply those moves, but he does Stoned Master.

Like a mountain goat prancing around on all the uneven ground between the mailbox and the front door.

He also uses the Bat Family method of carrying groceries from the car to the house. Batmanning the groceries. Everything on one arm, not even stressed.

[brightlotusmoon]

Watch "ADHD and Impulsivity #shorts #adhd" on YouTube

I can't understand time internally, how am I supposed to pause and think about what I'm doing when there is no pause?!

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I was just listening to my husband telling our roommate the story of how when he was young in the 80s living in Prince George's County in Maryland, their new black neighbors were getting harassed by Klan members, so his parents - the only Jewish family in the neighborhood - went over with weapons and his mom sat by an upstairs window with a rifle and his dad (who had worked for the government as a man in black) stood like a sentry on the lawn and put out the burning cross and threatened to stab anyone who came at them. Yes, they all moved out. No I don't have more details. But the conversation sprang from how one of our neighbors, an older white guy, was wondering why we weren't ever going to support Trump.

Punch Nazis. Tell others to punch Nazis. Be loud about punching Nazis. Help your neighbor watch Nazis through a rifle lens. Etc.

[brightlotusmoon]

My husband has been able to walk into places with a clipboard and an "I know what I'm doing" attitude. The Secret Service agents were less amused. He's also accidentally driven into the CIA parking lot without any memory of how.

And our friends 20 years ago got away with things so seamlessly that this Futurama quote applies: "When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all."

In the town where I grew up, there was a large statue in one of the parks, of a famous historical white colonizer. I'm not going to say who specifically, suffice it to say that it was someone who wasn't worth memorializing for their deeds. And as you can imagine, this statue was a frequent target of vandalism, with paint or toilet paper or eggs on multiple occasions. Now, the local council was generally pretty lax when it came to repairing potholes or other public damage in the town, but every time, 24 hours after this particular statue was hit, the same person would always appear in a Hi-Vis vest, hat, mask and sunglasses, carrying a bucket of water, and wash it clean. They would do it as quickly as possible, but always made sure the face and the name carved at the bottom were generously scrubbed. This only encouraged people to do it again, and so it became a vicious cycle.

Within a year, the statue had sustained so much damage that it was unrecognizable and the lettering unreadable, so eventually the council came and took it down. Also apparently, the person in the Hi-Vis vest didn't even work for the council. They were supposedly just some 'good samaritan' who cleaned it, often before the council even discovered it needed cleaning, so they just let them do it and ignored the problem. They didn't bother putting the statue up again.

Much later, we found out that the anonymous 'samaritan' had been deliberately washing the statue with a bucket of saltwater, which had dramatically corroded it, causing irreversible accumulative damage far worse than spray paint ever would have done. It's even theorized that they were also often the one spray-painting it, just so that they had an excuse to come back after a day to wash it.

[brightlotusmoon]

Husband is cooking a fusion of Indian and Jamaican and Chinese ingredients, sharing a story about how his parents' friends came from Saudi Arabia to Maryland in the 1980s. The husband was a Sikh diplomat who was friends with my husband's father, who was a DC Man In Black. The wife was from Ireland and was a friend of my husband's mother, who herself was sent to Ireland as a pregnant teen in the 1960s (long story).

So, Adam had new friends who were half Irish and half Indian, coming from Saudi into the USA in the late 80s. He was already starting to cook. He was taught all kinds of cooking methods, and cultural references from everywhere.

And that's how over 25 years my entire palette has been shaped by world fusion and the Generation X mentality of "leave me alone to be weird with my weird friends and keep in mind that we welcome everyone who wants to join" which is a very interesting mix.

Anyway, there's Taiwanese long grain rice and goji berries and char siu pork with Montreal steak with a mild sweet Jamaican curry, plus of course turmeric. It's cooking now.

I suddenly realized that I probably wouldn't be how I am without his magic powers of chaotically blending and respecting cultures through food, art, sport, and science.

[brightlotusmoon]

When the cat that doesn't like being held for too long melts and cuddles and you get photos as proof.

Get snuggled, idiot.

[brightlotusmoon]

It's my husband's birthday. He's 48. His martial arts training makes him so flexible he can put one leg on the counter and push up to jump. He keeps doing that at work, climbing ladders and using his flipper-like prehensile feet to steady himself. I once watched him hop around the massive rock formations at Great Falls like a mountain goat.

He's fun to be around. There's always something to talk about. The very first thing I learned about him was his love of cats and how he speaks their language.

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Husband, about to make his infamous herbal tea mix: Let's get the little scale and actually measure out my reckless seasoning.

Yikes Energy Tea

Adam Tea

Weird Power Tea

It's Like Cocaine Tea

Path Of Least Resistance Tea

What The Fuck Is In This Tea

Approximations

Yerba Mate 75 grams

Hibiscus 25 grams

Schizandra 5 grams

Licorice Root 15 grams

Prunella Vulgaris 5 grams

Gunpowder Green Tea 5 grams

Cordyceps Sinensis 3 grams

Haw berry slices 10 grams

Goji berries 10 grams

Honeysuckle dried 1 gram

Whole Bayberry dried 11 grams

Ginseng root preserved in honey 3 grams

Lemon juice 1/4 cup

Lime juice 1/8 cup

1 cup sugar

Herbs may vary depending on availability

Pour boiled water over the mix in a pitcher, mix with immersion blender to break up and shred.

Steep til cold. Strain into second pitcher back and forth a few times until the liquid is fully strained.

This is a large batch of concentrate that I will water down, of course.

Sometimes we include chrysanthemum, which is extremely anti-inflammatory and makes me think of tomato juice.

Husband: Beyond managing your ADHD, have you considered weaponizing it with plant chemistry?

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I'm listening to husband tell someone the story of when he was in high school gym class and everyone lined up against him for dodgeball. So he used his ADHD to attempt murder on them. He liked to target bullies and was happy protecting others. He grew up gentle and kind and compassionate as hell, also because he has Clark Kent strength and he knows it.

Now he's talking about his six months in a specialized classroom that "attempted to rehabilitate destructive behavior in excitable teenage boys." The ND teacher played to everyone's strengths and all but one of the thirteen boys graduated.

This was in the early 90s. It was... a time.