#my heart rate went up

[ahappyphjl]

dan being like oh you bitches would’ve gone insane in 2014 if me and phil swapped clothes but uhhhhh im afraid ten years later we’re all the same lol

[kirbykatz]

i was listening to dua lipa on my alexa (no playlist) and jojo siwas “”karma” came on. i’ve never been so scared in my life

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

[herewegobebe]

TAEMIN | Criminal ✦ Metamorph

[yanteetle]

so, I've had this au where Donnie is like this insane mad scientist obsessed with I guess, experiments and y/n?? And I saw some of your art recently and was like "Well, now ms Donnie seems kinda yandere-" so now I think he should be.

He's goofy

may the lord save me because WHEW YOUR ART. 🙏 🙏

I have never thought I needed a feral donnie more in my entire life. AND THE FIRST IMAGE?? I'm on the floor. I immediately had to follow you on my friend's/also my main blog because it's just that delicious. I'm very unwell for your art right now, thank you and have a nice day

[kibibarel]

on that note, everyone was right and Disco Elysium is good

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

[constellama]

Started binge-watching the hatchetfield series recently and I don’t think I’ll ever be normal again actually

[sockeye-run]

Story time?

Story time

About twelve (?) years ago I was in a messed up relationship. I tried to end the relationship, and the person decided to ruin my life further as revenge. They used the Internet to do it. They would pose as me, using nudes I had given them, videos I didn't know they had taken, and other 'normal' media, my real name, number, address, occupation, schedule, etc., and post me all over digital kingdom come. Including on porn sites and dating sites, and when people interacted, they would act as me and invite and encourage these strangers to come find me. Which they would do, in real life. Some of them came from Tumblr, because of Tumblrs permissive behavior towards porn bots for money, cross posting this asshole's posts about me to this platform. This person was a real fucking idiot, but the Internet machine is incredibly skilled at spreading content like wildfire and archiving that shit forever.

This experience ruined my life. I had to leave my home, trying to escape this person, because they were also stalking me and essentially forcing themselves into my life by threatening me with more damage, in person damage, and promising to get things removed and taken down if I did. Sadly I was foolish enough to try to work with them at first, but soon I just tried to disappear. They had infiltrated my real world communities with lies and damage as well, so I felt I had no where else to go but into the void and stop existing.

Thankfully I met my now husband, and he wasn't going to let me hide anymore. He was the first to encourage me to take it to the police; the first time I tried, they shamed me for sending my partner nudes, said it was 'a tough lesson to have to learn', and then ignored my calls. They didn't do shit.

The second time I tried the police, they only listened to my story because they were my regulars at Starbucks and we would give them free coffee to keep the abusive customers out. One day while working at Starbucks, halfway across the goddamn country from my home state where this all went down, 8 or so years later and still in this situation, with no public online presence, a stranger found me, knew me by name, asked if I was ready to spend time with them after my shift, as promised. I don't remember the rest of that day, or how I got home or anything. But my husband was done. He made a huge portfolio with evidence and links and IP addresses and all sorts of actual fucking police work, took me to the station, sat me in front of one of my daily regular customers, and showed him everything. Told him everything. He finally took it seriously, got me connected with the world's shittiest detective (my husband had to do the leg work to find proof for them, too), and about ten years or so after it all began, he was charged with a misdemeanor and it all finally stopped.

I didn't go to the funeral of my best friend because I was afraid he would be there. I regret that forever.

So it would totally freak me the fuck out if someone came up to me one day and said hey B, great to finally meet you off of Tumblr!!! Especially if I didn't know them in any way and wasn't expecting it lol. I'd assume he began again or something. But if someone I know already finds my Tumblr, they'd probably just be like 'huh I thought there'd be more bigfoot posting' lol.

❤️

[maiteo]

jack secure that semi so I can go to sleep.

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all, weird question time again, this time for people without POTS or other tachycardia-causing health issues. I know my heart rate is higher than it should be a lot of the time, but I can't find comparison data for not-tachycardia peoples' heart rates at any point except resting and like target rate when exercising, so my questions are these: 1. What's your heart rate when you stand up? 2. Does your heart rate go up noticeably when you are sick? There's presumably a whole spectrum of non-tachycardia heart rates at points between resting and high intensity exercise, but I have not been able to find any comparison points in between those extremes at all

[goldensunset]

from one hot girl to another, the ultimate hot girl has traversed time and space

[umemiyan]

i thought i just lost a shit ton of progress i made on this sakura edit and i was straight up prepared to fucking end it all until i found the right auto-save folder. thanks for scaring the shit out of me adobe

[self-hatred-h00die]

nearly gave myself a fucking heart attack because i was at the grocery store and i left my phone in the wrong pocket. reached for it where it usually is and i was like OH FUCK but luckily i did NOT leave it in a bathroom and get it stolen this time 💯💯💯

[bluevaractyl]

Wow am I tired of being tired

[stillfruit]

i love not knowing if i'll ever be healthy again i love all of the time i've used to move my body become nothing i love spending my adulthood wasting away year after year for various reasons baby!