#my heart hurts everytime....kevin | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

soobrat · 3 years ago

Text

perception; syj

pairing; eric x reader

words; 3.3k

genre; friends to lovers, smut

warnings; regular whore shit, unprotected sex

preface; My fav work in a while, lemme know if you enjoyed it!

"Okay okay. Let's pretend for a second that we weren't friends." Kevin says, regaining his composure after laughing.

"No! The answer's still no! I wouldn't date you if you were a girl!" Eric erupts in protest and the four of you burst into laughter again.

"That's not what I was going to say!"

Holding his arms out, he signals for the rest of you to settle down. You, Jacob, and Eric finally settle in your seats, stomachs hurting from laughing.

"This question isn't for you anyway, traitor." Kevin narrows his eyes at Eric.

"How is not wanting to date you as a girl being a traitor?"

Kevin ignores Eric's question, eyes landing on you.

"This question is for ___."

Your eyes go wide as the attention suddenly shifts to you. "I wouldn't date you either-"

"That's NOT my question." Kevin cuts you off. "My question is that if we were never friends, would you find me attractive?" You roll your eyes, the three of you collectively groan. Kevin looks around, confused at the reaction.

"What- It's a genuine question!"

"Yes, Kevin. Literally all idols are objectively attractive." You deadpan as if on autopilot.

"No no no. Not objectively. I mean if you had never met me, would you look at me and say "man I want a piece of that." or no?"

The question was certainly crossing a dangerous boundary. A simple yes could change your relationship forever. You all know good and well that all of you wouldn't stop thinking about the prospect of dating one another.

"Kevin, you're always asking weird questions like that." Jacob scolds as he slaps Kevin's shoulder. Kevin hisses and he caresses the afflicted area.

"You guys are both lying if you say you're not curious too." He looks pointedly at both Jacob and Eric. They both look at each other before looking back at Kevin, then you.

"You know what? Yeah, I would." You admitted.

To you it wasn't an issue. He specified that it was before you got to know him, and that was crucial enough to not make your answer relationship altering. The boys begin oohing at your answer. You shrug.

"You know what that means Kevin." Eric teases, smirking at him.

"Absolutely nothing. Now I know that he's Kevin." You chuckle as Kevin reacts in disbelief.

"All of you are fake." Kevin slowly pans his finger around at each of you.

"How about me?" Jacob asks, huge smile on his face.

"Definitely. You give off husband material vibes." Jacob gasps, his smile growing wider. Kevin scoffs, leaning back in his chair.

"Why are you flattered? You know this means she doesn't think that anymore, right?"

Jacob's face falls, furrowing his brows at you. "Why is that, ___?"

"Well... your vibes are more mom-ish now, so." You trail off, looking to the side. Kevin and Eric burst into laughter, pointing at Jacob mockingly. Jacob clutches his heart dramatically.

"Me next!" Eric says excitedly. Your heart thumps more prominently in your chest. Just like the others, you reminisce on the first time you saw Eric. Looking at every member in this group was down right mouth watering, but Eric? It was like he checked off all your boxes. And when he smiled? It made your heart skip a beat everytime. You wished you could say your feelings changed after you got more acquainted.

"Aw. Baby Youngjae." You pout as you ruffle his hair. The other two snort before Eric flicks your hand off his head.

"You're always treating me like a kid. And you're not even a full year older than me!" He points accusingly as he remembers your birth date. You remember how betrayed he felt when he found out your actual age. It didn't take long for him to get over it, though. Soon, the two of your were inseparable. Your close age allowed you to get along with him more than Jacob and Kevin.

His personality and humor meshed with yours perfectly. As Eric put it once, it was like you were soulmates. You remembered how hot your ears got when he said it. Thankfully, he didn't notice. You were pretty much screwed now.

"You're still younger than me." You tease, grinning him. He glares back, jaw jutting outwards.

"That's not fair. You answered both of them-"

"Fine! I thought you were attractive too." You admit.

Eric tries to fight back a smile as the other two 'ooh' again. You roll your eyes, ignoring the pounding of your heart. Admitting that to Eric made you feel significantly more vulnerable.

"Okay so why am I not attractive anymore?" Eric tilts his head, awaiting a response you didn't have. Hanging with Eric was loads of fun, so that why you constantly did so. That wasn't the only reason, however. You couldn't get him off your mind. You thought about him every night, including when you...

"Because you're annoying!" You try and laugh to disguise your growing nervousness. To your chagrin, you can feel your cheeks start to heat up.

"That's so rude- are you blushing?"

You cover your cheeks with your hands after Eric points it out.

"She is!" The boys laugh and point, this time at you.

"Stop! It's just because the alcohol is kicking in!" The coolness as your fingers are no match for your searing skin.

"Liar. You literally said you weren't going to drink so you wouldn't get hungover." Eric teases. You look over at him and he smirks back. Your shy reactions amused him greatly. You couldn't tell if it was because he found them silly, or because you exposed how you truly felt. He must've felt so cocky right now. He was the only one to get this reaction out of you.

"Fuck you Kevin." You take off your hat and throw it at him. He dodges it, still laughing.

"It's not my fault you have a crush on Eric." Kevin makes a kissy face at you, and you're looking for another thing to throw.

The rest of the evening was excruciating. Consisting of Eric staring at you with a stupid smirk, and you feeling too embarrassed to speak.

"Okay I'm going to bed now." Jacob announces.

"No! Just thirty more minutes." Kevin begs. You all know it's going to be a long time before you all get to just hangout like this.

"I'm sorry. I'm gonna fall asleep in my chair if I stay here any longer." Jacob groggily stands up from his chair and exits Eric's room.

"If Jacob's leaving, I'm leaving too." Kevin chases after Jacob who's walking pretty fast for someone who claims to be tired. "Oh, and you guys better not suck face or I'll tell mom." Kevin peeks back in the room before finally closing the door.

You narrow your eyes at the door. Kevin's such an idiot. As you turn your head, you realize Eric’s looming over you. You lean back as much as you can but your head hits the wall. His nose grazed yours as he stared into your eyes.

"W-what're you doing?" You stammer.

"Just seeing something." He leans back a bit to properly examine your face. "Look at you freaking out."

"Anyone would be caught off guard if another person's face was that close." You insist unconvincingly.

"Bullshit, you think I'm hot don't you?"

Before you could answer, he's leaning back in, hands resting on the arms of your chair. He tilts his head to the side as his eyes burn into you. You swallow hard, and you're sure he saw it.

"You're so cute right now." Eric chuckles. "Very kissable."

"Okay that's enough." You laugh awkwardly as you stand up. You freeze, a hostage under his gaze. The way his eyes flicker down to your lips makes you squirm.

"What? Don't you wanna kiss? Just to see what happens, nothing serious." He grabs your hands, thumbs rubbing into your skin.

"Wanna?" He suggests as if it's an innocent request. Well, it isn't super explicit either. It's just a kiss. Just to see what happens. You nod slowly and he smiles. He leans in, eyes trained on your lips. His lips graze yours slightly.

Every part of your skin that his touches feels like it's on fire. His nose sliding past yours. Hands tenderly caressing. Soft lips lightly brushing against each other. Your eyes flutter close as his lips finally interlock with yours. He tastes sweet, it's addictive. You dive in again shamefully quick. Butterflies erupted in your stomach.

He drops your hands, opting to wrap his arms around your waist. He hugs you tightly and deepens the kiss. Lips chasing after each other with growing hunger. What was sweet, curious, and somewhat innocent turned into a deep yearning. A yearning for something more sinful.

The sin you both had in mind became more evident as you felt him grind into you, followed by you moaning softly. Eric pulls back suddenly and your hand flies to cover your mouth.

His eyes drink in your bewildered appearance. His eyes are dark, lips parted slightly.

"I want more..." He admits quietly. The room remains quiet, but you both understand completely. Eric crashes his lips against yours as he pushes you against the wall. You part your legs slightly, allowing him to push even closer into you.

The more he grinds into you, the dirtier the kiss gets. Tongues licking and sliding against each other. Lips slick and swollen. Teeth nipping at any skin they could find. You knew better than to leave marks on his skin, but he could leave as much of a reminder as he wanted. A reminder that he was the only one out of twelve that made you like this.

His teeth nipping and sucking at your neck felt euphoric. You throw your head back, tugging at his hair.

"That feels so good." You drag the words out, shivering at the sensation. He works more enthusiastically at your neck, leaving wet kisses over the surface. He grinds his hardening member right into your core. The feeling turns your knees to jello.

You squeeze your hands in between your bodies. Tugging at the hem of his jeans, you hope he gets the message. He keeps his lips attached to your neck as he unbuttons his jeans. He frantically unzips them and shoves them down. His jeans and underwear pool at his ankles, his half-hard member exposed. He steps out of them before looking at you expectantly.

Looking down, your mouth waters at the sight of his thick member. Your mouth is dry as you reach your hand towards it. You wrap your hand firmly around the shaft. He reacts immediately, a muffled moan sounding against the apex of your neck and shoulders. He squeezes your sides.

"More." He whines before lifting his head to plant a kiss on your jaw. You begin stroking as you kiss his lips again. He bucks into your hand, whispering something incoherent against your lips. His hunger to feel you, taste you-- to do anything and everything was getting to be insatiable. He moans lewdly against your lips, hips jerking into your hand.

"Mm... wanna have you already."

For a second you thought you were the only one pathetic and needy. As he mumbled those words against your lips, you realized he was as desperate for you as you were for him. The realization made you want to stop jerking him off and let him inside you, but his whines and the desperate look on his face was addictive. You could watch him pitifully pine for pleasure all day.

"I... I like seeing you like this Jae." You whisper as you look up into his eyes. His cock twitches and he sucks his bottom lip into his mouth.

"I love when you call me that." Eric admits with a crooked grin. He places his hands on either side of your head, leaning against the wall. Eric had told you this once before. After calling him Youngjae to tease him because you thought it was a cute name, it naturally shortened to Jae. No one had ever called him that before you. He was only Jae for you, just like how he was only like this for you. "I daydreamed about this, your hands wrapped around me." He states breathily.

You shudder at the confession. It was impossible not to smile as you felt immensely relieved. You weren't alone in your torment. You glide your hand up and down his cock faster, watching as his eyes flutter close. His pretty lips are parted slightly, letting out little gasps and groans. His hair hangs away from his face, showing his thick and furrowed eyebrows. Eric doesn't want you to stop, but he also doesn't want to cum from your fist. His hips jerk forward again at the thought of spreading open your pretty, wet cunt with his cock. He presses his lips together, a moan reverberating against his mouth.

"Please let me feel you." He begs as his hand scoop your face up. He kisses you tenderly, exhaling deeply through his nose. "I wanna feel you so bad." He was panting, the desperation in his eyes growing stronger. Wordlessly, you pull your panties down under your skirt. You step out of them and when you look back up, he's tugging at himself, eyes trained on your discarded panties.

Standing back up, you grab one of his arms and wrap it around your waist. He lets go of his now fully hard member to wrap his other arm around you. "Ready?" He says and you look at him in confusion. "Jump."

You do as he says and he wraps your legs around his hips. You gasp as you feel his tip poking against your heat.

"Are you- mmph-!" He stops mid sentence as his tip pushes beyond your slick folds, prodding against your swollen hole. A shallow thrust sends you reeling when he nearly pushes inside you. His hands grip your ass hard before he pushes you flush against the wall again. His teeth are grazing your neck as he barrels into you. You let out an especially loud moan and he hurriedly covers your mouth.

"If they find out we'll never hear the end of it."

It's probably too late, but the two of you hold out hope. His hips smack against yours. The room fills with the sound of your muffled moans and his breathy grunts. That with a mixture of his skin slapping against yours has your eyes rolling back. His cock is fucking up into you at an angle that makes you almost salivate. You slide up and down the wall slightly as he relentlessly thrusts into you. Puffs of hot breath fan across your neck before wet and sloppy kisses take their place.

"So fucking tight-- I'm gonna lose my mind." He growls into your ear as his fingernails dig into your ass. He licks a long stripe up your neck and you whimper. He's toying with you, figuring out what makes you tick by kissing, nipping, and licking your neck. His thrusts slow down as focuses on your reactions. The way your body trembles when he presses kitten licks into your neck. The way you snap your hips against him when he nips your skin. The way a moan resonates against his hand and your walls clench when he sucks at a specific spot. Jackpot.

The pace of his hips are back to normal as he bucks up into you. Your body bounces on top of him, breasts bouncing underneath your shirt. He can feel your hard nipples brushing against his chest. Salacious moans leak out of his mouth as he continues to assault that sweet spot on your neck. It's a good thing you're pinned against the wall with your legs locked in place or else you'd be a spineless mess on the floor. Your whimpers are pathetic and pleading while you experience mind numbing pleasure in two different areas. He unclamps his hand from around your mouth and tightens his grip on your hips and pulls them to meet his.

"Ah~ you feel so perfect baby."

You hum in response. The light and airy moans that float into your ears make you clench around him. You're so tight around him that it feels like you're sucking him into you. His moans grow in volume, matching the rhythm of his hips. He grabs your hips and shifts you into a different position. You let out a sharp gasp as he starts rocketing into your g-spot. "Fuck-!" You try to keep your voice down now that your mouth is free. It was impossible to stay quiet when his stiff dick is buried inside of you, snug within your sopping walls. You let out weak and strangled noises as you dig your nails into his back. You feel a ripple of pleasure rip through you before your stomach tightens.

"Jae... 'm gonna..." You eyes roll back into your head as you wrap your arms around him tightly. You pull your bodies flush together, trying to get as close as you can. You can feel his firm chest pressing into you. He pulls away from your neck, fully focused on making you cum. He presses his forehead against yours.

"Do it for me. Only for me." He whispers as he looks into your eyes. "The fact that I'm the only one that does this to you... I could come just thinking about it." He pecks you softly before watching you again. You lock your legs around him, coils deep inside you compressing. You shove your hips into his, enjoying the feeling of your bodies slamming against each other. He pushes his hand between your bodies and under your skirt. He starts applying pressure and your vision goes white. The hard circles he rubs into it causes the coils to snap.

"Fuck fuck fuck--!" You exclaim as you pull his hips against yours. Your legs lock him in place as your cunt spasms around him. You shudder, spewing profanities and shivering moans as you come down. His fingers are still abusing your swollen clit and it makes you jerk against him. He sucks your bottom lip into his mouth. You hungrily kiss him back, tongues massaging each other. He begins to move again and you're a whining mess. He carries you over his bed and lays you on your back at the edge of it. He pushes your legs up so that they're on either side of your head. He leans down and kisses you again. His hips are slow as they roll into yours. Both your lips are swollen as you continue to suck on each other's. He sucks on your tongue and you're ready to cum again already.

"Feels so fucking good... wanna cum inside." He mumbles with interjections of moans that resonated from deep inside him. His hips slam down onto yours as he moans loudly. "I'm gonna cum baby."

You clench around him and he hisses. He presses his fingers into your legs until his knuckles turn white. He bottoms out, filling you to the brim as he kisses you. His hips are getting less precise and his moans more whiny. "You're the only girl who's ever made me like this."

He mumbles incoherent praises as he shoots ribbons cum into you. His moans are near sobs while his hips snap to yours so hard that your hips are bouncing off the mattress. The sound of his desperate moans and the feeling of him pushing so deep makes you bite your lips. "Only you."

He slams into you one last time and you're both seeing white. He collapses on top of you, head buried into your neck. You laugh as you push your legs around his shoulders and drop them on the bed. They're absolutely tired to the point of being numb. You wrap your arms around Eric.

"So... what now?" You whisper, eyes darting around the room.

"Shh, I'm trying to sleep."

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lunarifie · 2 years ago

Text

Rewatching Ninjago

(With no context other than the episode)

Skybound 7-8

Okay by why is Dareth out of everyone helping Nya, Cole, and Lloyd save Jay

Are Kevin and Dan self inserts-

Lloyd: who are they? Retrieval experts?

Dareth: better! Screenwriters.

I also saw these two random dudes in the jail and they were given lines and everything istg these are self inserts 💀

Also theyre voices sound abnormally normal

Everyone else in the show has a sort of distinctive or exaggerated voice

Not to mention how normal their outfits are. something I would actually wear in real life.

These are just some guys

The plan to recreate the sky pirates airship to blend in is actually a good idea

Lloyd: Ar! Yee.. matey, we be be, becoming pirates!

Dan and kevin:…

Kevin: okaaay thinking on the fly, the green one wont do dialects.

Dan: the mute pirate!

The dialect teacher: (teaching Cole and Nya)

Lloyd: (following their movement and swaying but not saying anything with a smile on his face)

I bet Lloyd loved pirates when he was little

This must be so fun for him :)

The airjitzu master after nadakhan stole him and his temple: This is me and my pupils home! You cant take it!

Nadakhan: And get rid of those peaky ghosts as well 🙄 theyre so last season

HDNSIFNSNR

The way Nya and Cole are hoping Jays okay 🥺

COLE FOUND JAY!!! WHAT I DONT REMEMBER THIS HAPPENING?!?!?!?

Jay sounds so pained :(

God I really wish Ninjago had like, a cartoon style like she-ra or spiderverse. Coles helping Jay stand and Jays voice actor is doing such a good job in sounding in pain but this would hurt so much more if we could SEE it.

They apologized to each other 🥹

Clancy (looking away): now here are the rules you need to follow new crewmates!-

Lloyd: (trying his fucking best as the mute pirate to mime to Nya that her mustache is falling)

Nya: 🤨

Lloyd: your mustache…

Clancy: hey! I thought you were mute

Lloyd: its a fucking miracle!

Huh, okay. So not only can the ninja not summon their dragons if they’re fearful, but they cant if they’re too drained or exhausted.

That makes a lot of sense actually

I love when powers come hand in hand with like health and stuff

They all got captured 😐

I hate that Nyas alone with Nadakhan

Jay: Thanks for trying to save me but maybe it would’ve been better if you guys never came…

Damn.

God Nadakhans so creepy…

Cole: Nya! Dont do it! Itll make Nadakhan all powerful-

Nadakhan: The black one goes first.

ik Coles the black ninja but the poc Cole headcanon has made me double take and go “🤨” to a few lines

DID NYA JUST FLIP DOGSHANKS HFJNSJF Holy shit

If I had a nickel for everytime an ancient item could collect elemental masters powers, id have two nickels, which isnt a lot but its weird it happened twice right?

STOP. MAKING. WISHES.

Lloyd: We have to be wiser for what we wish for!

Jay: NO. NOT WISER. QUIETER. NO. MORE. WISHES.

Coles getting his wishes twisted

Lloyds trying to think this through

And Nyas just wasting wishes💀

Like girl its not that hard to just NOT say ‘wish’

LLOYDS OLD?!?!?! 😭bfjdjfnfjsnt

Its so funny that the youngest became the oldest

Thats also scary though

Imagine the kid you swore to take care of turned 90 in a second

Lloyd: i see beyond the now..! Youll need your wish when its said from the heart

Love when age and wisdom gives you future vision

Jay: SAID FROM THE HEART?!?!? HEARTS DONT TALK!!!!

FUSION DRAGON!!!

How does that even work though

An electric and water dragon should be killing both Nya AND jay.

Wait so Cole and Lloyd used all their wishes. How is nadakhan gonna trap them in his sword now?

CLANCY NO DONT WISH THEM AWAY

Clancyyy :(

Nya riding the dragon while Jays sitting behind her is giving me movie Nya and her motorcycle vibes

so its just Nya and Jay now

And the whole police force I guess.

But what were they ever good for.

Oooooo a safe house

Wonder where it is.

Zanes dad’s lighthouse!!!

WAIT WAIT WAIT IK WHOS IN THERE

Jay: No no, let me row the boat, you saved me last time, let me do this for you :)

Awww thats sweet

Jay: Either way, a gentlemen NEVER lets a lady row.

Aaaand you ruined it.

Flintlockes getting reaaal suspicious of Nadakhan…

MUTINY! MUTINY! MUTINY!

that was kinda pathetic…

Jay: (venting his heart out about how this is all his fault)

Nya: Jay-

Jay: (continues venting)

Nya: JAY. Shut up. 😀

Jay: I know I know, you dont wanna hear it-

Nya: No- JAY. we’re not alone.

ECHOECHOECHOECHO

Jay: (cowering behind Nya)

Nya: I thought you were supposed to be protecting me?!?

Jay: I thought you were over that!

ECHO!!!!

Does anyone have any fic recs where Jay and Nya take echo with them????? Bc ik they leave with echo but we never see him again.

Clancy deserves better :(

Its actually kinda sweet how Jay wants to protect Nya

Little robot: (steals echos chess piece)

The seagulls: (trying to alert echo of what little robot just did)

Echo (looks back): Wait… How did you..?

Little robot: 🤷

Echos so cute 😭

I love Jay and Nya 🥺 theyre so sweet and it makes me genuinely like their relationship when they aren’t fighting

Nya fixed up Echo!!!

Nya: Its nothing… its just, both of you seem so convinced you have a future with me.

Nya: what voice do I have in all this? All my life , my identities been defined by someone else. First I was Kais sister, then I was your horrible girlfriend!

Nya: Even when I wanted to be Samurai X sensei told me no…

Nya: I just want the choice to be who I wanna be.

I feel so bad for her.

See THIS is why shes my favorite. I literally love her sm.

Her character is just so dynamic and well written

I really hope the ninjago writers dont tear down her characterization and make her bland in newer seasons

Fuck theyre here.

Nya: Lights, camera, ACTION! (flash-bombs nadakhans crew)

Dogshank: OW! You pulled my hair?!??! WHAT KIND OF WARRIOR PULLS HAIR???

Nya: One that is woefully undersized!!!

Jfjdjdbfhsjdnsjrn

Fuck this being about Jay. This is Nyas season.

Jay: Whatever you do! Dont pull that lever!

Doubloon: ? (looks at the lever) 😈 (pulls lever)

Jay (falls through escape trap door): Thanks! :D

GO ECHO GO

Aw echo :(

Nya: (pouring her heart out and confessing she’s always loved him and wants to protect him and for him to go through the travelers portal)

Jay: (goes for a kiss)

Nya: (fucking shoves him in the portal)

Nya. Girl. Ik this was like, an act of love. But if you marry the djinn, hes gonna be all powerful.

Like, its great that you believe Jay can save you later and stop the wedding. But you could have just left. If Jay got captured he’d still be able to make the ‘i wish you were never a djinn’ wish.

Nadakhans so creepy. I hate him and hope he dies.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #Rwatching Ninjago #skybound

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aliwritesss · 3 years ago

Text

~ Labyrinth

Pairings: Eric x reader

Genre: Fuckboy au!, angst

Summary: “How did I end up being like this?”

You were laying in your bed trying to remember when was the exact moment you knew you were in trouble, when you knew that there was no going back.

But you couldn’t.

You couldn’t remember when was the moment you let your walls down and let him enter your heart. And you were starting to think it happened the first moment he laid his eyes on you.

When a pair of deep brown eyes looked at you and made you feel everything.

They warned you so many times, that he wasn’t the right boy, that you could be friends with him but that’s it.

To not fall in love with him.

And if you could have a time machine you would go back in time and not go to that party.

Where everything started.

Kevin kept saying he wanted to go and that it wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t going, so he ended up convincing you to go to his fraternity, TBZ frat.

You were expecting the unexpected like always, but you wouldn’t have thought in a million years that night was going to start one of the best and worst moments of your life.

You walked in ready to have a good time, greeting your friends and classmates and ready to dance and relieve all stress you’ve been under for the past few weeks.

But you felt something was off, and you couldn’t catch why.

And then he appeared, like he was the owner of the whole universe. Once he entered your eyes were glued to him, he had this power every time he was in the same room as you. He attracted you like a magnet, and you could fight all you want but that wouldn’t change anything.

But something changed that night, something made him look at you, go to where you were standing, take your drink and sip without breaking eye contact. You lied to everyone and said that it didn’t affect you, but he made you feel weak.

You couldn’t say anything for a hot second, too shocked to say something but if you knew something is that you weren’t going to let him go so easily, he was hot and all, but you weren’t going to let anyone, not even Eric Sohn, treat you like an easy girl.

“ Are you thirsty?” You asked him with your most sensual voice.

“ I’ve been dying to take a sip since I came.”

“ Let me help you with that.” And the next thing you did was to throw your drink on his shirt.

“ Next time ask, asshole.” You replied to him. He was too shocked to even notice the way you were shaking, but someone needs to put him in his place.

And now that you think about it, maybe that is what you did wrong, you caught his attention.

He kept his distance from you at the party but the next day he had this superior smile again in his face.

“ I hope you know what you did last night was a little bit messed up, love.” He said.

“ And I hope you learnt that you can’t go around taking sips from other people's drinks.”

“ Seems like we learned a lesson yesterday, Y/N.”

And since that moment he started going with you more. You were acquaintances since both of you shared the same group of friends, but the only conversations you had with him were superficial.

He started to wait with you for Kevin or Jacob, talking to you more and opening slowly. And suddenly you were texting each other lame things late at night and you couldn’t stop smiling.

He made you smile and that was dangerous.

Everytime you locked eyes with him, you’d feel this warm feeling spreading around your stomach, making you feel like no one did before. He had the power to make you feel like you were the only one in the room. But still, you thought you had everything under control. And you did.

Till one night he texted you he needed to see you.

You were worried, you didn’t expect from the cool Eric to actually need someone so you took some things and went to his dorm.

You remember perfectly the image you saw the moment you entered his room, an Eric crying on the sofa, not being able even to look at you straight in the eyes.

“ What’s wrong Eric? What happened?” You told him worriedly. Once he heard your voice he lifted his head up and went to hug you.

“ Don’t leave me Y/N. If you do, there's nothing left.” He says quietly on your neck. You didn’t know what was wrong at the moment but one thing you knew is that he needed you and you were never going to leave his side.

And that's how you stayed the whole night, hugging each other and running your hands through his hair till he fell asleep. You don’t know how long you kept staring at his profile, the curve of his nose, his lips, how soft they looked, his eyelashes, how short they were but still so thick. You traced the letters of his tattoos delicately while smiling softly. Even though they were small, he always bragged about them.

And days started to pass and you felt how Eric attracted you more and more, how you started to care about what he was doing, if you were going to see him on the weekend or if he would text you the next day. He entered your heart without knocking and there wasn’t a way back now.

He came to stay and you didn’t know when he’d leave you without telling first. But deep down you knew, you knew that this game was going to end one day. That you’d wake up one day he wouldn't be next to you.

Despite everything, you still hoped that he’d stay forever with you, and maybe in another life he would have but the universe can be sarcastic sometimes.

He had the power to light you up like Venus, to break you down into tiny pieces and putting it all together again. And he told you, one night he told you he was up to no good, that you deserved better but he couldn’t let you go. He was addicted to you and that he was sorry for being so selfish.

You want to laugh out loud now, because he was right.

He was being selfish. But still, you needed his touch, to hear him laugh, his hugs.. You needed him. And even though you had a million reasons why you should give him up, you didn’t.

The boys told you a million times to stop this game, that the one that would end up getting hurt was going to be you, he cared about you but he wasn’t going to make you his first priority. But it’s funny how blind you can be when you are in love with someone.

You thought he was bringing joy to your boring life but he wasn’t, he was sucking the life out of you. And the worst of it, it’s that he wasn’t doing it on purpose. He truly cared about you, but you weren’t the only one.

And one day you woke up crying, you looked at yourself in the mirror and saw a broken and addicted girl.

You had a fight for a stupid thing again and that ended up no talking for 10 days.

Yes, you were counting them.

But you had enough.

You weren’t going to keep playing this game anymore.

And that’s how you ended up laying in your bed now. One month later and still recovering. Everyone told you that you made the right decision but you still think that you should’ve reached him and talked to him and made him choose.

But you were afraid he wasn’t going to pick you.

So you ran away, since that’s the only thing you can do perfectly.

You stopped checking what he was doing everyday and tried to stop thinking of him. Key word, tried.

You still cared a lot about him.

The worst of it was that you knew he was in pain.

You saw him one day on campus with Sunwoo and he looked devastated, he didn’t have that superior smile anymore, there were bags under his eyes and Changmin told you he wasn’t even sleeping in his room anymore. He couldn’t when you weren’t there to hug him, he said.

You can’t understand why two people who were madly in love couldn’t be together, but sometimes not everything is about being in love.

You almost reached to him one day, but then you looked at yourself in the mirror.

You didn’t have this spark in your eyes anymore, the one he always lit.

But you also saw that you gained a little bit of weight, that you were starting to sleep better, that you were actually getting your shit together and that you weren’t dependent on anyone anymore. And that made you feel good for the first time in a while.

You grabbed your things and made your way to class thinking “who knows, maybe one day he’ll realise what he lost and comes back, ready to love me but in the right way”.

A/N: Hey guys!! Here’s my little AU of Eric. I’m going to do a series for this one, but I’d like to know if you prefer if it’s before this takes place or after? Like how was getting to know him, falling in love... lots of fluff scenarios but also a lot of angst. Or after the break up, it’ll be have fluff scenarios since you two get back but will not have that much of angst like the first option.

Let me know what you’d like to see in the comments!! ❤️❤️

#the boyz #the boyz eric #the boyz drabbles #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #the boyz series #the boyz au #tbz eric #tbznetwork #tbz x reader #tbz reactions #tbz #eric sohn

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newdeobis · 4 years ago

Note

tbz confessing their feelings for you, but you don't feel the same

this is just my opinion

sangyeon

look, he planned something so romantic, probably even bought you flowers.

the way his smile slowly fades away as you tell him about how you feel about him oh lord

literally trying to play it cool in front of you but is so obvious how nervous he is

he'll get over it eventually and don't blame you for not feeling the same

is honest when he tells you that it's okay if you don't like him, but can't shake this feeling that you could be with him.

won't bring up his feelings again, but it's obvious that he won't give up that easily. Maybe you'll fall for him soon enough.

jacob

nods

“I expected that”

tries to accept it because actually he thought he's not good enough for you from the start.

wonder if it'll hurt even more to ask if you are sure, so he doesn't.

asks if you can still being friends

don't want to make things weird but can't talk to you without looking like he's about to apologize

idk it's just so weird that eventually you'll just walk away from each other, not talking anymore. it's better for both of you, honestly.

younghoon

“wouldn't you give it a try? is there someone else in your heart?”

oh he didn't mean to sound so hopeless but he does anyway

the way he looks at you is so heartbreaking, it's like he's hoping you're joking

don't wanna regret doing this, but you're just pushing him away and it hurts him

i think he'd stop trying, stop texting and calling you after talking about it with a friend

don't want to be inconvenient and make you hate him so just stops

will talk to you, obviously. politely. like you haven't been friends for so long.

It's pretty sad, I think he might cry.

jaehyun

laughs it off

or at least tries to

can't even look you in the eyes anymore

changes the topic, but you can see how he's digging his nails into his palms

“i look kinda stupid now, can we pretend i didn't confess?”

please don't talk about it or act like you don't want him around, it'll hurt him so badly

“arghhh, why did i admit it? that was so fucking dumb”

juyeon

say “it's okay” with a big smile when you tell him you're sorry, but his smile can't reach his eyes

can't hide how upset he is

what pisses him off is that he just can't stop talking to you, can't stop being a fool for you.

he's happy as long you're happy but why does he feel this way?

will always wonder how different things would be, if it'd be better if he never talked his feelings out.

kevin

the regret in his eyes is so obvious when you tell him you don't feel the same

oh god, he was ready for this kind of answer, but still got hurt, especially if you apologize

overthinks about it a lot and regrets his actions every night

upset that now he can't talk to you without making things weird because he's so damn nervous

ends up making self-deprecating jokes, which can only make you both upset.

feels like his love life is a complete mess and constantly wonders if someone will give him as much as they take from him.

chanhee

“oh.... no, it's okay! it's fine, I guess”

will jokingly say something like “not having a good taste is fine, i guess” so he won't look stupid

honestly? just want to leave

probably acting like he never said anything, but avoiding your eyes because he just can't stand how humiliating this feelings are when not mutual

won't talk to you for a while and probably won't tell his friends he confessed until he eventually get over it

can't help but feeling ridiculous everytime he texts you back like nothing happened, just hopes you'll forget about it soon.

changmin

it took him so long to confess oh god, he thought about doing it for too damn long

lowkey wants to ask if you're going out with someone but don't want to hurt his feelings even more

“I understand that” but he's looking so serious, so out of place.

I don't think he wants to be friends while he feels this way about you because the jealously consumes him whenever you're with someone new.

probably will ignore your existence for a while or just ask you not to talk to him because he's not in the mood

still so into you, still getting jealous and hurt.

haknyeon

he's just sitting there staring at you in silence

honestly, not even in the mood to say anything else

that's why I feel like he usually does this through texts

idk, he really wouldn't say anything else, maybe walking by your side in silence until you get home

obviously wouldn't stop talking to you, but you can feel how cold he is towards you

acts like he's not thinking about you but go through pictures with your friends, with him, every night before falling asleep.

sunwoo

he'll try to brush it off, telling you that he only told you because he thought you should know it, he should be honest

but oh boy, he might cry later

he didn't expect you to reject him without giving a try because you usually treats him so well, like you usually don't do with your friends

but thinking of him as a brother? well, that shit hurts.

lowkey regrets confessing but tries to convince himself that things are better this way, that he can move on now.

eric

“ayyyy I was joking. I'm a great actor” but his sweaty palms and nervous smile tell you otherwise.

knows you're playing along but damn he kinda feels like shit

wonder if you're gonna make fun of him and hopes that you won't, that you'll act like nothing happened every day until he gets over you.

but still want to be around you, because you're worth it, even if it's just as friends.

i mean, that's why he likes you.

but i think he's the type to move on fast. Not because he wasn't honest about liking you, but because there's no need to hold onto something that'll never happen.

#well I'm sorry if it makes no sense I'm sleepy #the boyz reactions #tbz reactions #tbz scenarios #the boyz scenarios #the boyz angst maybe #the boyz angst #tbz angst #the boyz smut #the boyz drabbles #tbz drabbles #the boyz series #newdeobis

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kazunarisworld · 3 years ago

Text

Mark of Love

Description: Each of them is a reminder of how easily he fell for them. His body is a reminder of how fragile his heart was.

Pairing: JuNew (main), a side of SunNyu, BbangNyu and NewMoon

It is a world where everytime you fall in love a tattoo which represents the person you fell for or a moment you shared with them appears on your body. Chanhee hates it. His body is a constant reminder. A reminder of the times his heart was broken. A reminder of his love not returned. It made him feel not only sad but also hopeless, unwanted and unloved.

Everytime he looked at himself in the mirror his eyes would tear up. The bitter memories always came up. It made him hate himself. Why was he so easy? Why does he fall for other so easily? Why did the people he fell for didn't love him back? This wouldn't have happened if he could just keep his heart guard up. He hated the way people seemed to look at him either with disgust or with pity.

He sits on the floor with his legs pulled up against his chest feeling tears once again. He is brought out from his thoughts by a knock on the door. "Chanhee are you okay?" A voice comes. Chanhee wipes his eyes away quickly. "Yeah I am fine Juyeon." He answers. There is a pause for some seconds. "Can I come in?" Juyeon asked.

"Y-Yeah." Chanhee answers his voice cracking. The door opens revealing his housemate, to whom he got close to since the past months. Juyeon walks inside and approaches Chanhee. "Are you thinking about them again?" He asked in a soft voice. Chanhee nods. Juyeon sighs as he gets down to Chanhee's level and pulls him in a hug.

"I told you to stop. I know it hurts but you need to move on. You can't beat yourself up. Falling in love is not a crime. It happens." Juyeon says, his tone still as soft as always. "I know b-but it is hard. It makes me feel so unwanted. I feel ugly. I j-just I wish I never fell in love." Chanhee says as he breaks down right then and there.

Juyeon hugs him tighter. "Maybe you should talk it out. About each of them. Maybe that will help your move on." He suggest pulling away slightly to look at Chanhee's face. Chanhee sniffs but nods. Juyeon picks his left hand. His thumb running over. There is a tattoo of a cresent along with some flower vines under it. It is beautiful.

"Tell me about this one." Juyeon says. Chanhee looks down at the tattoo and pulls up a small smile. "This is from when I was in high school. It was ... It was an unrequited love." Chanhee says feeling a lump in his throat. "He was my classmate. He was very nice. He cheered me up in ways no one ever did. I remember the day the tattoo appeared. It was when I had messed up my test and I got scolded by my parents and he was there to comfort me and assure me." He says taking in a shuddering breath.

"He was always there and... And I just fell. I didn't tell him about the tattoo or about my feelings for a whole year. But when I did confess he was so... He felt so bad because he didn't have a tattoo for me. He was not in love with him. There was a tattoo on him but it wasn't mine. He fell for someone else. A senior. We got awkward with each other from then on. H-He went to Canada. He didn't even tell me. That hurted me the most. That he didn't even to bother to tell me. That he left so suddenly. That he didn't even gave me a chance to even say goodbye. He was my first love." Chanhee says.

Juyeon holds his hands in a comforting manner. A moment of silence passes between them then Juyeon picks up his left hand and runs his thumb over the tattoo of a hour glass which also had flowery vines surrounding it. "What about this one?" He asked. "It was a year after Kevin. I think ... The tattoo represents our first time meeting. We met on a bus both of us late for our classes. He was nice. We got to know each other more and more since that day. He was a transfer student. We actually dated.... But it just went wrong. He... He fell for someone else. He did loved me that I know because there was my tattoo on his body yet.. yet he fell out of love. He started loving someone more than he loved me. He started ignoring me and pushing me away. I didn't even know why until I confronted him and he showed me the new tattoo that appeared on him. I-I couldn't even be angry because we can't control our heart after all. But it doesn't mean it didn't hurted. It hurted me a lot. Knowing that he didn't love me enough. That he fell for someone else while he had me." Chanhee says.

"You have every right to be hurt. You can be angry. It is not your fault if you feel any anger towards him. No one wants their lover to fall for someone else. If I was in your place I would feel sad, hurt and angry." Juyeon states as he gives Chanhee a little smile.

Chanhee also gives him a weak smile. Juyeon pats his head in a comforting manner. "What is the story behind the one on your back shoulder?" He asked. Chanhee has another tattoo on his back shoulder. The tattoo of a compass with flowers on its sides. Juyeon had seen it once accidentally when he had walked in on Chanhee changing his shirt.

"It was from when I went to Jeju. For a few months. It was kind of a vacation for me. To get away from everything and all. I met him there. He was my cousin's friend. Younger than me but charming. Very charming. His name is Kim Sunwoo. I felt so bad. The tattoo represents the day we got closer." Chanhee says, a fond smile on his face remembering the past.

"We didn't get along at all when we first met but when we got lost in a forest together we became loser. He was sweet. Of course he could be annoying whenever he wanted but he was nice person." Chanhee says. Juyeon listens to him attentively.

"I fell in love that day. He made sure I was safe and okay and I don't even know why but I did. I told him about my feelings as soon as I could. B-But we couldn't be together. Turns out he already had a lover. It just broke me. Damn i am unlucky huh.... Probably unwanted too. I either fall for the person I shouldn't fall for or fall for people who never loves me back." Chanhee says a tear sliding down his face but he quickly wipes it away.

"Who said you are unwanted? You are precious Choi Chanhee. You are my favorite housemate. You are my favorite friend and you deserve so much more. You are.... I love you." Juyeon blurts out. "S-stop joking." Chanhee says looking at him with wide eyes. Juyeon bites his lips anxiously. He puts his hands out and rubs on the skin of his wrist.

Chanhee looks at him confused for a second until he sees a hint of pink and black on Juyeon's wrist. His eyes widening as he realised it was a tattoo. "This .... This is yours." Juyeon says as he shows it to Chanhee.

It is beautiful. It is small but beautiful. Cherry blossom. Chanhee feels like crying all over again at the sight. "W-When..." He says but trails off too shocked to speak. "Ever since the day I first saw you." Juyeon says. Chanhee stays quiet as he stares at the tattoo. With a slightly shaky hand he holds up Juyeon's hand as he runs his fingers over the tattoo.

"You hid it... Why?" Chanhee asked. "Wanted to tell you. But you weren't ready. I didn't know what to do. So I hid it everyday." Juyeon says.

Chanhee feels bad almost immediately. He had always told Juyeon about how scared he was to get another tattoo, to fall for someone else again and how he hated the tattoo.... Of course the other was going to hide it from him. "I am sorry.." he mumbles feeling bad.

Juyeon shakes his head. "It is not your fault. You don't have to say sorry." He says. "I always thought it represents you well. You are just like cherry blossom. Beautiful. Precious. A sight to treasure and fragile." He adds with a smile. And Chanhee feels guilty. He doesn't have a tattoo for Juyeon.

"I am sorry... I don't... I don't have a tattoo for you." Chanhee says in a broken voice. Juyeon quickly pulls him close. "Don't cry. It is fine if there is not one. You are not ready and I am willibg to wait for you to get over your past feelings. I will be here with you. I will wait for you." He says. Chanhee sniffles as he nods.

"I am willing to try with you. As.. long as you wait for me." He says looking up at Juyeon who looks back at him with so much adoration in his eyes and Chanhee suddenly feel shy. "That's enough for me." Juyeon smiles and Chanhee feels warm. As he stands there in his housemate's arms he feels safe and protected. And he is sure that yes he wants to try this. Try falling for someone again if it is with Juyeon. And once again Chanhee lowers down the guards around his heart.

[TIME SKIP]

It has been 4 months since the confessions Chanhee and Juyeon made to each other. As days passes by little by little things changes for Chanhee. In a good way. Chanhee falls in love with Juyeon eventually.

Juyeon was always there for Chanhee as he had promised. He was there to remind Chanhee how beautiful and strong he was whenever the younger had occasional breakdown. He was there to hold his hand when he started doubting himself over something.

Juyeon was a nice change to Chanhee's life. It is when they were cuddling watching a movie when a tattoo finally appears on Chanhee as Juyeon snuggles into him whispering a soft "I love you".

It appears right above Kevin's tattoo. Bigger and beautiful. Chanhee swoons over it. It is a dreamcatcher. He thinks it suits Juyeon very well. A dreamcatcher is believed to bring good dreams to a person and chases the bad dreams away. Just like that in Chanhee'e life Juyeon chases away all the bad things and always brings him happiness and joy.

And now everytime he looks at himself, he hates himself a little less. He loves himself a bit more. He finds himself a bit more beautiful. Maybe Chanhee carried his heart on his sleeve. Maybe he fell easily. But he learned that it was okay. One could never decide who to fall for. It is for the heart to decide. What matters is finding the right one to fall for at the end.

Even if you fell for the wrong person or fell for people who didn't returned your love it was okay. It didn't meant you are ugly. It didn't meant you are unlovable. It didn't meant you are unwanted or undesirable. It just meant you haven't found the right person. It just meant that someone even better was out there waiting for you. And Juyeon made Chanhee realize that.

Author's Note: The concept of this story came from a YoonMin fanfic I read on ao3. I really loved the concept. So I added my own idea s with it~ I wanted to put the tattoo as a reference to emotional scars and insecurities one develops because of failed relationships and unrequited love. Anyway! I hope you enjoyed this~ Please give it lots of love 💛💚

#theboyz #the boyz fanfic #the boyz fluff #tbz fluff #tbz fanfic #juyeon #chanhee #sunwoo #younghoon #the boyz kevin #tbz angst #kpop #kpop fanfic

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deobienthusiast · 4 years ago

Text

forever have my heart

• pairing: lee jaehyun (the boyz) x reader ft. Jacob, Kevin, Sunwoo, and Juyeon + slight mentions of Sangyeon

• word count: 3,545 words

• genre: ex to lovers!au, angst, fluff

• rating: PG

• warnings: sad hyunjae, sad reader, crying hyunjae, basically all about hyunjae

• notes: if the warnings didn’t give it away i don’t know what will🤷🏾‍♀️

• requested: yes | no by anon

You remember that day like it was yesterday. You remember that entire year, and the year before that. It wasn’t hard to distinguish the day you met Lee Jaehyun, or Hyunjae as he liked to be called. Hyunjae was loud, bold, and out there. He loved having the attention on him, and he befriended people wherever he went. The day you met him was nothing short of a mere coincidence.

Valentine’s day, and you had been stood up. Lucky for you (or so you thought), so did Hyunjae. You both ended up at the same McDonald’s and ordered an oreo mcflurry. Low and behold, their ice cream machine was down. To say you were pissed was an understatement. All you wanted was to drown your sorrows in a large oreo flavored ice cream cup. Was that too much to ask? The boy sitting next to you seemed to sense your anger as he spoke.

“I know an ice cream place just up the way from here. If you want, I’ll take you.” The boy had offered.

Blonde hair covered his head and a grin made its way to his lips. You gave him a confused look as you spoke.

“Do they have french fries?” You asked him.

The boy nodded before holding out his hand. “I’m Hyunjae.”

That day, you shared a large oreo milkshake and some french fries. Hyunjae made you laugh until your stomach hurt and no more tears could come out of your eyes. You both learned that the other was stood up, and Hyunjae couldn’t have been happier. He used the time to cheer you up, and get to know you. That day you got Hyunjae’s number, and you two became inseparable.

Hyunjae became your everything. He exceeded your expectations on love. Making you smile and laugh was his daily mission. You were never alone, until you were.

It seemed as though things were going swimmingly with Hyunjae. You both told each other you loved each other, you had met each other’s parents and families. Everything seemed okay. You were madly in love with Hyunjae, and you were convinced he was the same with you. That was until he stopped showing up.

It started with dates that he’d start showing up late too. Hyunjae would never stand you up, until he did. You never got upset at first. Hyunjae was a busy man. His job required a lot of his attention almost every single day, and you were prepared for that. The time away from you that it took, however, wasn’t something you were prepared for. You pushed through it, though. You did it for love. You did it for Hyunjae, and you thought he would do it for you.

The day you two broke up was burned into the back of your mind. It was a day you would never forget.

It was your one year anniversary. Hyunjae had taken the day off, and he had told you that he prepared a day of excellency and he couldn’t wait to spend it with you. It was a day you were so looking forward to. Except when you woke up, everything went downhill. You tried to look past the silly mistakes that were made, and eventually you did. The day, however, just got worse. Arrangements had fallen through, Hyunjae had gotten called into work. Nothing was going the way Hyunjae had planned it. He did continue to mention a dinner that you two would have when he got off work. Things were starting to look up. You had gotten all dressed up in a new outfit with which Hyunjae had insisted you wear to dinner. Getting all dressed up wasn’t exactly anything you really cared for, but you did it for him. All for him to do the one thing he promised you he wouldn’t do, stand you up. For someone else, at that.

You had sat at the highly expensive restaurant for almost two hours, waiting, hoping that he would show up. Only for you to sit and eat a meal by yourself. You didn’t do much eating that night. The sight of other couples loving and doting on each other just made you sick to your stomach. Unfortunately for you, it only got worse. You had taken a ride to the restaurant that Hyunjae had set up for you, leaving you with no way to get home. Almost every car service was booked up for the night. This left you to call a mutual friend of yours and Hyunjae’s. A sweet boy named Jacob. Jacob was one of Hyunjae’s closest friends, and was the first person to meet you when you and Hyunjae got together.

“Thank you for this Cobie.” You had told the boy softly.

Jacob gave you a small, sympathetic smile. “No problem.”

You let out a sigh as Jacob spoke again. “So where is the man of the hour?”

You let out a laugh. “You tell me. Hyunjae had gotten called into work. I guess time just got the best of him.”

Giving Jacob a look, you noticed the confused expression he was wearing. “Cob, what is it?”

“Hyunjae never came into work today. He specifically asked for the day off, and Sangyeon isn’t the type of boss to call someone in on a day they requested off.” Jacob explained.

The car came to a slight stop before you recognized the front yard you were pulling into.

“What do you mean he never came in? Hyunjae told me he got called into work.” You exclaimed.

The quiet boy shook his head. “I had to work today. I had just gotten off when I got your text message. He wasn’t in the office at all. Come to think of it, neither was Juyeon. I remember them talking a few days prior about a guy named Sunwoo. Apparently he was supposed to be in town. Juyeon was trying to convince Hyunjae to come hang out with him and the guy.”

You hummed in response. You had heard about Sunwoo. An absolute party animal who was spoiled to no end. He never had to worry about a job because he had his parents inheritance to fall back on. Hyunjae always claimed Sunwoo brought out the worst in him. Whenever Sunwoo was in town, Hyunjae was off his rocker in an attempt to keep up with the younger counterpart.

“He stood me up, on our anniversary, to spend time with a boy that can’t even keep himself in a committed relationship for longer than a week. Everytime Sunwoo gets into a relationship, he’s convinced that this one is the one. Sunwoo still acts like a child. I’ll never understand why Hyunjae hangs out with him.” You yelled the last part as you hopped out of Jacob’s car, trudging towards your front door.

Jacob had followed you out before a car came barrelling into the driveway. As if on cue, Sunwoo, Juyeon, and Hyunjae got out. All three of them were laughing like there was no tomorrow. The sight of them made you want to scream. Hyunjae’s eyes were focused on his younger friend before they met your cold, desolate stare. He stopped in the yard, the two boys with him not realizing as they bumped into him.

“Yo, what did you stop for? I know we haven’t drank that much.” Sunwoo said with a laugh before he, too, met your gaze.

“You never told me Sunwoo was in town.” You called out across the yard.

It was at this moment that you were glad you and Hyunjae didn’t have any neighbors. The home you two shared lay at the end of a dirt road that only harboured one other house that was all the way at the entry of the road.

Hyunjae’s eyes left yours momentarily as he took cautious steps towards you, eyeing the boy next to you. “What’s Jacob doing here?”

Jacob looked between the two of you. “I provided transportation. That’s all.”

“Yeah. You know our anniversary dinner at the crazy expensive restaurant you booked? The one where you sent a car to drive me there? The dinner that you never showed up to because of him.” You pointed your finger at Sunwoo as Hyunjae gulped. “Jacob told me you never went into work today. The moment he mentioned Sunwoo, I started to wonder. Just how many days did you really put off for?”

Hyunjae shuddered at your tone. “I took my vacation time off. I had accumulated about a month of vacation time.”

You nodded at his words. Not bothering to say anything else, you had headed into your home, slamming the door behind you. You locked it as you heard Hyunjae run up the stairs. His fists slamming hard on the door. No listening to his pleas, you packed two suitcases before coming back downstairs. Laying them on the ground, you walked towards the door, opening it as Hyunjae fell inside. He lay eye level with the suitcases as he scrambled to his feet.

“What is this? What are those?” Hyunjae asked quietly.

He closed the door behind him as you spoke. “I can’t do this anymore.”

You kept your head down. “It has nothing to do with Sunwoo or work. It’s just you. I think we’ve grown apart.”

Hyunjae’s eyes widened as he was starting to pick up what you were saying. “No. No, I don’t think that. We haven’t grown apart. Look at me. You’re my everything. You mean the world to me.”

His voice cracked slightly as he continued. “Please don’t leave me.”

Tears welled up in your eyes at his words. “I’m sorry, Hyunjae.”

You remember picking up the suitcases, and having Jacob take you to a hotel across town. You made sure he didn’t tell Hyunjae where you were staying. That was the last day you and Hyunjae had seen each other. You didn’t feel like going back for any of your things. Everything you had, you shared with Hyunjae. That was almost two years ago.

You still remember that day, but you had managed to pick your life back up and move on. You had your own friends along with the ones you shared with Hyunjae. The only one you really kept in touch with was Jacob. He had helped you pick yourself back up. You eventually got a new place with a roommate. A funny, artistic boy named Kevin. Kevin, Jacob, and you became the three musketeers. Jacob even got engaged to the sweetest girl you had ever met. She was like a female version of Jacob, and he seemed so smitten over her.

“Hey! What are you wearing to Jacob’s engagement party?” Kevin asked you from outside your bedroom.

Opening the bedroom door, you were met with Kevin holding up different shirts. You laughed.

“Those are both absolutely horrible, Kevin.” You told him.

Kevin dropped both the shirts to his side as he whined. “Well help me then. I’m supposed to be one of his groomsmen and I can’t even dress myself for a proper engagement party.”

Letting out a chuckle, you followed Kevin into his room as you walked straight to his wardrobe. He fell back on his bed as you searched through his clothing. You pulled through each pair of pants and nice button up shirts he had before settling on a nice suit. Pulling it out, you laid it on top of Kevin’s body nicely as he lifted his head.

“See? This is why we’re friends. This is why I like you. Who else would help me get dressed for an engagement party?” Kevin said with a smile.

Shaking your head, you headed towards the door as you yelled. “Nobody! Now get dressed.”

You were excited for tonight. Jacob was over the moon in love with this girl, and he couldn’t wait for the chance to have everyone that loves him in the same room supporting him. Plus, Kevin and Jacob thought it would be a good opportunity for you to quote on quote “get back in the dating scene”. You never agreed, but you weren’t going to argue with the two of them because there was never any winning.

You got changed into your outfit of choice, fixing up your hair, and everything else that needed a touch up. When you were finished, you headed to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. You scrolled through your social media before hearing Kevin yell from the top of the staircase.

“You should’ve just become a fashion designer.” Kevin said as he made his way down the stairs.

His hands were fiddling with the bow tie around his neck as he finished tying it. You looked over his outfit before focusing back on his hands.

“Kevin, enough with the bowtie.” You told him as you headed his way, pulling his hands away from the garment.

You untied and retied the bowtie for him, straightening it out before dropping your hands. “Now, stop messing with it. Don’t touch it. Or I’ll let you walk around the party with a crooked bowtie until someone points it out, and you know someone will point it out.”

Kevin smiled at your words before you both heard a beep from outside the door. “That’s our ride. Time to go congratulate the bride and groom-to-be.”

Smiling, you kept a grip on the water bottle you had opened as you headed for the door. Kevin quickly ran back up the stairs and came back down with a bouquet of flowers as you laughed.

“Awe, Kev. How sweet!” You said before he pulled his hand back.

“Haha, very funny! They aren’t for you. They are for Jacob and Mina.” Kevin said with a smirk, making you roll your eyes.

The car ride to the venue Jacob had booked wasn’t very long as you and Kevin made small talk. He mentioned this funny girl he had met at work, and it made you smile like no other.

“I’m so glad that you like this girl. Did you get her number?” You asked as the car came to a stop.

Kevin shook his head. “I was too nervous.”

You laughed as Kevin helped you out of the car. He clutched the bouquet of flowers in his hand as he headed towards the entrance. Your arm was looped with Kevin’s as you both scoured the building, taking in all the people that were there. You were quick to point out Jacob’s family. His parents and brother were seated at the head table where the wedding party was to sit. You allowed Kevin to take you towards the table as Jacob noticed you two.

He came up to the both of you with a huge smile. “There you two are! I was wondering when the most important pair of my wedding party would show up.”

You and Kevin both smiled as Jacob pulled you both into a hug. He pulled back from Kevin as he walked off to hand Mina the flowers he brought.

“I’m about to go steal your fiancé.” Kevin said jokingly.

Jacob rolled his eyes at his friend as he turned back to you. You gave Jacob a smile as he pulled you in for another hug.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Jacob said softly.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world Cobie. This is your second big day because the wedding is obviously going to be the true big day.” You replied.

Just as you said that, you saw him. Your smile faltered slightly as Jacob let his eyes follow your gaze. There, standing in the middle of the ballroom, was none other than Lee Jaehyun. He let out a sigh before looking at you.

“I know you still have your reservations about him, but I couldn’t not invite him. He’s my friend.” Jacob reasoned.

You shook your head. “I’m not mad at you. I can’t tell you who you can and can’t invite to your engagement party.”

Jacob smiled before stopping. “You should talk to him.”

Shaking your head, Jacob laughed. “Probably not.”

He went to speak again before someone yelled out to him. He gave you a smile before walking off. You took the opportunity to get yourself a glass of champagne as you looked over the decorations that were hung up. Pictures of every moment that had been captured in Jacob and Mina’s relationship hung up all around the room. Each picture with a date and sweet caption written on each photo. The captions written by both Jacob and Mina. You smiled as you heard someone speak from behind you.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it? Their relationship? I think it’s incredible.” Hyunjae’s voice said quietly.

You kept your back to him as he chuckled softly, taking the initiative to step forward so that he was beside you and visible in your peripheral vision.

Hyunjae spoke again. “You look amazing tonight. I mean, you look amazing all the time, but especially tonight. Of course, you’ve always stood out to me.”

You gave him a side eye look that made Hyunjae crack a smile. “What? Are you trying to woo me now?”

The boy shrugged. “I don’t know? Is it working?”

You shook your head, turning your attention back to the pictures hung up on the wall. Reading the sweet captions to yourself, you were pulled out of the moment you had created for yourself by the same boy.

“How have you been?” Hyunjae asked.

Shrugging, you caught the boy’s attention. “I’ve been okay. Found a job that I really like. I met Kevin, and he keeps me pretty busy.”

You turned to point at the boy who you had mentioned as he saw you and gave a friendly wave and a smile. Hyunjae watched the way your face lit up as he looked back at the same boy.

“That’s Kevin? He seems nice.” Hyunjae said.

You chuckled. “He’s incredible, in more ways than one. Should’ve given that girl his number.”

“Wait, he’s not your boyfriend?” Hyunjae asked.

The laugh you let out made Hyunjae laugh himself as you covered your mouth.

“Kevin? My boyfriend? Absolutely not. He’s great, but not my type. I’d much rather keep him as my roommate.” You told him.

Hyunjae felt his heart pick up as he spoke again. “Hey, can we talk outside? Just the two of us.”

You finally turned to look at him fully making Hyunjae lose his breath. You looked absolutely stunning. You just happened to get even more amazing as time went on. You kept your gaze on him and went to answer before being interrupted. The devil, himself, threw an arm around Hyunjae’s shoulders, throwing off the boy.

“Hyunjae! Man it’s been so long. I’ve missed you, bro.” Sunwoo said.

Not wanting to be in his presence any longer, you headed outside to get some fresh air. Sitting outside on your own, you let yourself get lost in the night sky before being interrupted, again.

“There you are. I’m sorry about that.” Hyunjae apologized.

Shrugging, you looked at him. “Still hang out with Sunwoo?”

Hyunjae shook his head, catching you off guard. “No, actually I haven’t hung out with him since you left.”

Your eyes widened slightly in surprise. “Oh. I didn’t know that. You know, you didn’t need to cut off a close friendship of yours because of me.”

“Yes I did,” Hyunjae started as he sat down next to you. “You are the love of my life whether you’re with me or you’re not. I know my crazy friendship with Sunwoo was a part of the reason you left. I was hoping that distancing myself from him would bring you back to me. Jacob rarely gave me updates, and you never really gave anything away on your social media. I just tried to do everything I could to get you back.”

His statement made you scoot closer. “Sunwoo’s your best friend.”

“And you’re my everything. No matter what, you forever have my heart.” Hyunjae told you softly, looking you in the eyes this time.

Your breath got caught in your throat. “I love you, too.”

“Y-you do? Even after everything?” Hyunjae asked softly.

You nodded. “I never stopped. I think that's why I never bothered to get back out on the dating scene. Despite how hard Jacob and Kevin tried, I didn’t want to be with someone else. I guess I was just always holding on to this hope that we’d be able to try again. Truth be told, Jacob invited a lot of his single friends because he wanted me to mingle with them.”

Hyunjae laughed. “Glad I got to you first then.”

You laughed alongside Hyunjae as he leaned closer to you, his hand now placed lightly above yours, both your pinkies interlocked.

“I missed you.” Hyunjae said softly.

You smiled to yourself as you turned to look at the boy. He leaned his forehead against yours as you took the first step, moving your head just enough to peck his lips.

“Does this mean you’re going to come home with me?” Hyunjae asked.

You pulled away as a mischievous smile made its way to your face. “You’ll have to go, and fight Kevin for me first.”

Hyunjae grinned. “Name the time and the place, my love.”

#kwritersworldnet #tbznetwork #deobiwritersnet #kafenetwork #kdiarynet #kpopficsnetwork #kpopscape #lovesicknet #the boyz #tbz #the boyz hyunjae #tbz hyunjae #lee jaehyun #lee hyunjae #the boyz sangyeon #the boyz juyeon #the boyz jacob #the boyz kevin

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mae-gi-writes · 4 years ago

Text

Plus One | Kevin Moon (Around The World Collab)

When your boyfriend of eight years suddenly decides to break up with you right before your destined trip for your cousin’s wedding, nothing can cure your broken heart. In a desperate attempt to make you feel better, Kevin states that he will be your plus one.

Genre: little angst, fluff, friends to lovers.

This fic is part of a collab “Around The World”, featuring different countries x the boyz members. I had the utmost pleasure of working with such an amazing group of talented writers for this project, so please don’t forget to check out their works too! ^^ <3

This fic is takes place on Mauritius Island.

Word count: 9k IZ A LONG ONE SO BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUPS

Tagging: @aniyawoos @chaoticdeobi @moondustaeil @juyeonzz @atbzkingdom @2hyunjae @jopping-to-my-kpop @jeongsinkookie @ihearttbz @heartyyjeno @bahnmi07 @sadlandia @itsquxxn

-----------

Eight years, gone just like that.

I stare at a spot on my navy blue suitcase, not really focused on what’s before me and more concerned about the memories flickering past my lids. I can’t help it. Everytime I see luggage, it makes me think of the way I kicked him out of my life. Everytime, a slab of pain will grab my heart between its icy fingers and squeeze it so that I can barely breathe. Everytime, until I feel like I’m drowning inside dark waters without the real desire to swim to the surface.

My psychiatrist told me that it had been for the better. That it had been an obsessive, unhealthy kind of love in the first place. But was it better now that I couldn’t even feel my heart in the hollow space where it’s supposed to be?

“Y/N.”

Still, I remember the messages on his phone, the way his touch would feel strange, eerily hollow for some reason, the way he’d avoid my eyes whenever he’d tell me that he was going out with the guys. I remember smelling his coat and recoiling at the cheap scent of perfume clinging to it like second skin, how he’d constantly tell me how wonderful I was-- too wonderful for him -- and that I should find better, that I didn’t deserve someone like him.

And then, when I’d stumbled into our flat a little earlier than I was meant to -- since my gym class had been cancelled -- and took note of the trail of shoes, followed by a coat, a shirt, a thong, before my ears picked up on the noises echoing from the bedroom doors…

“Y/N?”

His face when he spotted me, the astounded expression like a dog that had just been caught sneaking into the pantry. And the girl, a prettier woman, a curvy woman, with red lips and with those beautifully deep red wine locks tumbling down her back with the perfect physique that could make any man drool. That girl, who was none other than one of my good friends at work and who had spent most part of the year listening to my rants about him.

“Y/N!”

“Huh?” My head whips up when I register my name being called out, looking up to see a raven-haired, petite-faced man leaning against the bedroom doorway with raised brows and a concerned expression on his face.

“Oh, you’re here,” I say, as he crosses the doorway and sits beside me. The bed dips down under his weight as he tilts his head in that knowing manner of his, “daydreaming again?”

“No,” I mumble, but he sees right through my facade and with a sigh, his arms wrap around my shoulder before pillowing his head against my shoulder.

“It’s going to be okay,” he murmurs as I allow myself to lean back against him, against his comfort. His lavender scent wraps around me, a little bed of comfort amidst all the pain.

“I can’t stop thinking about him,” I murmur, tears stinging the corner of my eyes, “it hurts, Kev.”

He only holds me a little closer, a little tighter.

If there is one person that I can trust more than myself, it’s Kevin Moon. I’ve known Kevin ever since high school, having hung out in the same friend group until we had become partners for an art project. It was only then that we’d become closer, and had been close ever since. With his angular features and almond mono lidded eyes and thin lips that were constantly shaped in a pout, the Korean-born man had moved to Canada when he was young, just like I had a few years ago. He had kept me afloat during my university days, I had comforted him through his first break up. He had been present during my final Fine Arts Photography Exhibition, I was up all night coming up with re-branding concepts for his design project. Overall, Kevin had pretty much been a constant in my life, you get the gist of it.

When he found out that my boyfriend had cheated just a few days before our destined trip to attend my cousin’s wedding -- mind you, I had been sobbing waterfalls and it was a miracle he even understood me through my blubbering mess -- he had half a mind to storm up to the guy and rip his throat out. But he did the most surprising thing; booked a ticket for himself and turned up at my flat on the eve of the departure, stating that he was going to accompany me to that wedding, whether I liked it or not.

My cousin, Emma, was getting married right where home was: Mauritius. The memories I once had of the small island nestled right in the Indian Ocean on the right of Madagascar, was of my grandma’s comforting food, the sea scented air that washed along with the too-white sandy beaches, the multitudes of merchants selling all kinds of fresh fruits and vegetables on the side of the road, and small corner stores that looked like they had come out of a 1960’s movie. People liked to claim that Mauritius was paradise on earth, and in a way, it is.

“Come on,” Kevin had nagged when I shook my head adamantly. He’d wriggled his plane ticket before my nose, “you’re not going to let that loser spoil such a happy event are you? Emma’s waiting for you!”

In the end, he’d won. Which is why we are here, staying at my cousin, Emma’s, apartment in a village called Moka, located at the foot of a mountain and has an abundance of forestry adorning the sides of the road. It's chilly here, in comparison to the harbourfront, and constantly smells like fresh rain and has a gentle fresh breeze blowing through.

“You know, assholes like him are not worth thinking about,” Kevin says now, his arm a gentle soothing caress up and down my back, “your brain might rot.”

I can’t help but let out a soft, choked up laugh.

“It’s our first day here, let’s not ruin it by thinking about him, hm?” Kevin continues soothingly and I nod in agreement. He’s right. I’m just wasting time by reliving memories that I should be banishing from my mind.

“Okay!” he brightens up then, “where shall we go? The sea? The market? Or do you want to go eat?!”

--------------

The first few days are about meeting up with family and rediscovering Mauritius for what it is. Emma gives me a full-fledged hug the moment I open the door to her house, pressing me close to her with such motherly warmth that it takes everything in me not to break down right then and there. I greet my uncles and engage in small-talk with my aunts, help my grandma out in the kitchen as she continuously asks me why I’ve gotten so thin. While I know the main reason, I decide to smile and spare her the details, as embarrassing as it is.

No one mentions him, until one of my uncles slips during a conversation with Kevin, “so you’re Y/N’s boyfriend. Such a pleasure to meet you! We’ve heard so much about you that we started thinking she was just making things up.”

“Er--” Kevin reddens, “I--”

“So how did you two meet?”

It is at this very instant that my mouth decides to move on its own and I blurt out, “we’re high school friends.”

“Oh highschool sweethearts! How cute!”

Kevin doesn’t fail to mention what a mistake I’ve made to lie to my entire family to save face.

“I feel guilty,” he says as we walk out to the car, keys dangling from my wrist.

I unlock the car, “it’s fine. We’ll be in and out before they know it. They don’t have to know anything.”

“Hm, sure.”

After some well-deserved family time, Kevin and I decide to head to the west of the island to catch the sunset, my camera stuffed neatly in the backseat, where Kevin has tossed a few spare towels just in case. We each have donned our swimsuits for the occasion and it doesn’t take an expert to see the excitement thrumming through Kevin’s veins as he sits beside me like an excited child in the passenger seat.

“I never realized that you guys drive on the left side of the road,” he comments, head whipping back and forth in-between the passage of cars.

“Yeah, it takes some getting used to, especially if you’re crossing,” it is then that I notice that there is a newly built mall as we turn left at the green light, “hey, that’s new. I’ve never seen this before.”

“Cas-ca-velle,” he mumbles out with that strong accent of his. He is definitely not one to know French and I’ve been acting as his translator all along, considering that my family speaks French at home, “what does that mean?”

“Beats me. It’s just a fancy name for a new shopping mall,” I peer into its parking lot, “wanna visit?”

“Whatever floats your boat, honey. I’m all in.”

The mall is longer than it is wide, with white archways decked with wooden-style roofs that give way to an open-plan exterior. A wide beige cemented pathway occupies the space, with shops lined on either side.

“I never realized, but you guys are very multicultural,” comments Kevin as we pass by another family of four chattering quickly in a mixture of French and Creole.

“We’re similar to Canada that way.”

“Do you miss it here?”

My eyes glance over at him, notice the soft empathy in his expression.

“I guess I do sometimes,” I say while I kick at a stray pebble, “It’s like homesickness. But in a way I can’t quite explain,” after a moment, I ask, “do you miss Korea?”

“The food, mostly,” he grins bashfully, “my halmeoni makes a killer gamja tang.”

“Let’s go visit her one day.”

“Is that a promise?” he asks as I shrug, “if you want it to be.”

It’s a little past six when we drive up to the Flic En Flac beach and as we gather our things, my eyes light up upon falling on a nearby roti stand. I quickly slap Kevin’s arm in my bout of excitement.

“Ouch! What? What is it?”

“Kevin, you’re not going to believe this,” I point at the stand in question, “this roti stand? It’s the best roti in Mauritius. Here, take this,” I don’t wait before shoving my bag and camera in his arms, “I’m gonna buy us some. You go and find us a spot on the beach.”

“But--”

I don’t wait for him to finish his sentence before taking off, greeting the merchant who is just about to be wrapping up to ask whether I can get two rotis with ‘cari saumon’ (roughly translated into salmon curry mixed with indian spices), local and freshly made. The smell wafts through the folded paper wrappers as I grab them. They smell just like my childhood, where everything had just been as easy as having rotis by the beach without a care about the future that is to come. It’s nostalgic and I can’t help the smile tugging up my mouth at the thought.

Kevin is already settled atop a pair of spare towels and looks up at the sound of my footsteps approaching. I pass him one of the paper wrappers and he takes a peek, confusion flitting across his face.

“This smells spicy,” he mutters loudly enough for me to hear, “it looks like naan bread.”

“It is,” I agree, “except it’s flatter and more like a crepe.”

Throwing me a hesitant glance, he takes a small bite. I watch his face go from confused to impressed in a few seconds, before his eyes whip up to mine, “woah, this is good.”

“Told you so.”

“But this is really, really good,” he can’t help but marvel at it and laughing, I proceed to dig into my own roti, allowing my mouth to be filled with that salty fish taste melting along my tastebuds, the curry spices giving it the nice tangy kick you wouldn’t find anywhere else. The roti is soft and practically melts on my tongue and I can’t help but moan at how good it is.

“God, this is everything I’ve been looking for my whole life,” I find myself telling him, wrapped up in momentary bliss, “this, this is everything.”

I can feel his eyes on me, so intense that my own flicker up in question. He drops his gaze the moment I do and I frown, confused.

“What?” I can’t help but ask, wondering why he suddenly seems so meek, so shy and awkward, “what is it?”

“Nothing,” he replies like he’s trying to be casual, except that it’s anything but. When he gazes back at me, I notice the warmth in his maroon eyes, more the color of caramel in the dim light from the sunset basking his profile in a golden glow, “I think--I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you so happy, since...”

He doesn’t need to continue, for I know where this is going. Indeed, this is the first time in many months that I haven’t paid any attention to the hole inside my heart.

And it feels good.

“Yeah,” I murmur as I watch the sun settle on the ocean’s horizon, fire kissing water, “I don’t know, I just feel like this is nice. Like it’s right.”

I spare him a glance from the corner of my peripheral and watch him shift. His sleeveless shirt slips, allowing me a glimpse of the naked skin underneath. I quickly look away, slightly embarrassed at the notion of even thinking of him in such a way.

“That’s how you should be, Y/N,” Kevin murmurs back just as softly. It’s almost like talking too loudly will break the sudden spell that has settled over our shoulders. He takes a sip of his beer before continuing, “you’ve suffered enough for someone who deserves nothing but shit for what he’s done.”

There’s a small pause as I digest his words. Then, I manage to murmur out, “thanks, Kevin.”

“No problem.”

Another small bout of silence ensues, covered up by the sound of the ocean roaring up the sand, distant birds chirping in the fading light of the sunset drowning into the now orange-flecked waters.

“Hey Y/N.”

I glance at him. He’s gorgeous, even more so somehow. Maybe it’s the time of the day, maybe it’s the mood, or maybe it’s the way my heart can’t help but be swallowed in gratefulness whenever I look at him.

“What?” I ask.

“Do you know water has memory?”

I choke on my beer, “do not-- and I mean this-- do not quote Frozen with me.”

“Huh, I tried.”

---------------------------

“So, Kevin huh?”

My eyes shoot up to meet Emma’s in her crusty-dust-filled mirror, presently lounging on her bed and flipping through a book as I had been trying on my bridesmaid gown. Kevin is downstairs, helping out with the barbeque grill with the rest of the family, and it is only now that I get to have some alone time with the woman I consider my sister.

She’s the only one that knew the exact details of my breakup, and that Kevin is only a mere replacement to cover my humiliated ass. I remember her trying to calm me down when I had called in a frenzy, practically hyperventilating because of the amount of pain that gripped at my heart and was choking me of all air.

I revert my eyes back to the dress, a baby blue as bright as a summer sky, and smooth my hands down my sides, “he’s been so good to me, ever since…” I can’t finish the sentence, voice already wobbling at the thought that comes with it.

“Hey,” Emma’s murmur causes me to look up, and in her eyes I see a flicker of understanding, “he’s not worth it.”

“I know,” I swallow back the tears crawling up my throat, “I know, it’s just--a hard pill to swallow.”

A hand comes to a rest at my elbow, before my cousin tucks her chin atop my shoulder, “it’ll be alright, Y/N. He doesn’t deserve you."

I nod. Then, just to change the subject so that I don’t break down in her arms, I gesture towards the dress, “so? How does it look?”

Emma tugs at some pieces here and there, rearranging the fabric as she sees fit, “I think it looks good. You look gorgeous. Kevin will swoon, for sure.”

“It’s not like that,” I hurriedly say as I strip out of the dress and put it back on its hanger, “we’re just friends.”

“Mhm,” she throws me a pointed look, a mischievous smile tugging at the corner of her lips, “'just friends' doesn't feel right..”

“Emma, really? Right after my breakup?”

“He came to Mauritius just for you Y/N,” she squeezes my shoulders comfortingly, “doesn’t that count for something?”

“Well, we’ve been friends since high school so…”

“I don’t think just any friend in high school would do such a thing if I asked,” Emma catches my eye in the mirror, her gaze deep and meaningful, “just think about that.”

I just nod in hopes that she’ll stop yapping away at my nonexistent relationship with Kevin, whatever that means. The hole in my heart is still so raw and filled with pain that I can’t even start thinking about another relationship. The thought alone is enough to drain me of all energy and I decide to brush it off for now as I follow Emma out in the backyard now filled with familiar chatter and the smell of cooked meat wafting through the air, with the sky bruising a soft purple to signal the end of a long summer day.

Catching sight of Kevin as I bring out one of the many salad bowls that my family has prepared, my lips can’t help but twitch into a slow smile when I see him by the grill, whipping away the multitudes of flies zipping back and forth as my other cousin deftly flips the sausages upside down with a trained rhythm that only years of experience can bring.

“Kevin! You’re not doing your job right!” my cousin cries playfully. Kevin attempts to flap the newspaper around while screeching, “oh god, my eyes are burning!"

“Someone bring more meat!” My cousin hollers.

“There’s more?!”

“He’s doing a great job,” my grandmother’s voice brings my attention back to the salad bowl in my hands, and I quickly bend to kiss her cheek as she continues, “better than any of your other cousins. They never help out.”

“That’s because you pamper them too much, grandma,” I grin at her and follow her to the dining table where my aunts are already settling down amongst themselves.

The evening passes by with good food and good company, the sky darkening and dotting with a veil of stars that has Kevin gawking in awe. I'm not surprised, you don't see skies like that anywhere, a sky that isn't so intoxicated with modern chemicals. My uncles take it upon themselves to introduce Kevin to all the types of Mauritian delicacies, such as chickpea fritters we call 'gato pima', small balls of graped choko vegetable and minced pork 'niouk yen', and to top it all off, a plate of cornmeal pudding also known as 'pudine mai' that makes Kevin's eyes go wide with surprise.

"This is dessert?" He holds it up in his hand, "with ...cornmeal?"

"Sure is," one of my aunts chime in with a smile, "made it just this morning."

It's past midnight when we get back to our little apartment with Emma's dress hanging off my arms, which Kevin doesn't hesitate to grab from my hold despite my protests.

"It's fine dude," he flashes me a quick smile, albeit tired, and my heart does this weird little squeeze in my chest at his thoughtfulness.

He's kind. Too kind. I really don't deserve someone like him.

"I'm sorry," I say as we settle onto the small couch, shoulders fitted snugly against each other, "my family is kinda overwhelming."

"No no," Kevin looks over, edges of his lips curled up, "I actually love your family, you know."

My chest warms, "thanks."

There is a moment of silence that we enjoy, the day's events sinking into my bones.

"Hey," he murmurs.

"Hm?"

My eyes slide over to catch his, dark pools glimmering with a certain softness that catches my attention.

I bite my lip. It suddenly feels a little warm.

"What is it?" I ask, voice hoarse.

"Is oreo a sandwich?"

I sit up so suddenly that I jostle him, "wait--what?"

He grins up at me with that little nose scrunch that I can't help but find endearing, "is oreo a sandwich?" I open my mouth to answer but he beats me to it, "is cereal a soup?"

"Stop."

Reclining back to lace his hands at the back of his head, he says, "is ketchup a smoothie?"

"Stop it."

"What about hotdogs? Are they sandwiches?" He continues in a singsong voice and rolling my eyes, I make a move to punch him once more. But he's faster, hand shooting out to hold my wrists. He pulls me over and I stumble, knee pressing against the side of his leg.

"Come on. Answer it," he wriggles his eyebrows.

"Nope."

“Don’t be a party pooper.”

“You’re so annoying.”

"Are you sick of me yet?" His face is so close that I notice the creases at the corner of his eyes when he smiles.

"That's an understatement."

"But really, do you think oreo is a sandwich?"

"No! Oreos are just oreos!"

“You’re no fun,” He pouts before finally releasing his hold. I draw back with a roll of my eyes, settling beside him once more and pillowing my head onto his shoulder.

Emma’s right. Kevin had sacrificed so much to be here with me, and he doesn’t even know Emma. Yet, he immediately dropped everything so that he could be my plus one, so that I wouldn’t have to face the music alone. The thought makes my heart swell with emotion and suddenly I’m all too aware of his presence beside me.

I shift to gaze at him, eyes tracing the curve of his nose, the indent above his lips before I whisper, “hey Kevin.”

“Hm?”

“Why’d you come?”

His eyes flicker over to mine then. A heartbeat passes. For a moment, I wonder if he can hear my heartbeat suddenly throbbing a little too loudly in my chest.

“Good question.”

Another pause.

“That’s not an answer,” I laugh slightly, to show that it’s all just fun and games.

But when I catch his eyes next, there’s something else brimming in them. They’re tender with emotion and it catches me so off guard that I almost don’t catch his next set of words:

“Because I care about you.”

My heart gives a quick lurch but I somehow can’t tear my gaze away. I want to say something. Anything.

But all I can muster is a soft, “oh.”

“Why do you ask?” he asks, voice hoarse.

I hesitate, “Emma asked why. And...I guess I wanted to know too.”

“Oh.”

The air feels heavy, heightened with the things that are threatening to slip off the edge of my tongue. A mixed series of ‘but why’s and ‘can’t you tell me more’ jumbling up my thoughts with so many possibilities that I decide to stay quiet for the sake of not ruining the moment. Because there’s this lingering fear that once I do say something, then it’ll just pull me down a rabbit hole that I can’t crawl out of, that the only escape lies on the other side.

And I don’t know if I want to take that leap yet. My heart is already so fragile with the aftermath of a love that went wrong. I don’t know how much more I can take.

So I just stay quiet and let out a soft sigh, and though Kevin shifts as if he wants to say something, he doesn’t. The question just hangs there between us, in-between the slithers of moonlight and in the cold Moka air, like a perpetual ghost we ignore as we drift off to sleep.

----------

Something shifts between us after that. It’s unspoken of, but suddenly, I am all too aware of Kevin as a whole. Things that I hadn’t noticed before surface as we spend most of our free time visiting the rest of the island; like how he loves ruffling his hair whenever he feels uncomfortable, or the way his bicep curls as his arm drapes over the wheel with the barest hint of muscle that is enough to be attractive yet subtle, or how he smirks in that attractive way of his whenever he thinks something is undeniably adorable.

The good thing about having Kevin is that I don’t get to think of him all too much, which is a blessing in itself. It’s been days since I’ve shed another tear and for that, I have to say I’m glad that I’m making progress.

We spent the last few days before the wedding traveling around the island to visit all the touristy spots that I know Kevin will enjoy, like a hike all the way to the top of Le Morne mountain, where I explain that’s where slaves would throw themselves off when their masters would find them. We visited Bois Cheri, a tea-making factory where Kevin had the pleasure of tasting all different kinds of teas cultivated in the fields below, and ate lunch on the Caudan Waterfront as we gazed at the boats lulling along the harbour.

“Woah, this place makes me feel like I’m in Aladdin somehow,” Kevin’s mouth is wide agape as his eyes try to take in the endless racks of stands selling fresh fruits and vegetables of the day. The Port-Louis Bazaar has always been one of my favourite places to visit, but it’s also one of the busiest. Even now as we attempt to squeeze our way through, people are jostling us here and there, causing me to press my bag to my chest in case any pickpockets are nearby. I prompt Kevin to do the same.

“Hey Y/N, I wanna check out the bags over there,” Kevin motions towards the hand-woven baskets situated at the far end of the market and I nod as we keep moving forward with the crowd like a pair of salmons trying to swim upstream. But there’s so many people, it’s so suffocating that it gets hard to keep up with Kevin’s figure. Someone elbows my shoulder and I groan, stumbling to the side in irritation, only to get pushed forward by another.

“Seriously--” I curse under my breath, when a hand suddenly appears before my eyes.

Looking up to see Kevin’s outstretched arm, I am only greeted with his bashful smile and averted eyes.

“Come on,” he doesn’t even wait for my consent before slipping his palm over my own and tugging me along, his hold firm and strong despite his skinny frame and the action is enough to render a flurry of butterflies soaring over my stomach.

Stop, I try telling my subconscious. That does nothing, however, to stop my neck from tingling with unfamiliar heat.

Kevin’s hand feels so warm. It’s comfortable, safe.

And I’m liking it a little too much.

He doesn’t let go when we reach the desired stand and talk over which bag looks the best and keeps his hand in mine for the entirety of our journey back to the car. Only when I unlock the doors that his palm finally drops from my hold and air rushes over my palm that is now a little too cold without his warmth. But while a multitude of questions are burning the back of my throat, they fall apart halfway through at the thought of his answer, before I decide to drop it altogether.

Kevin, on the other hand, doesn’t seem the least bit affected.

When the day of the wedding finally rolls around, I drive my car to Emma’s after a quick breakfast that Kevin surprised me with -- to my surprise, he’d managed to make a decent eggs and toast without burning the place down -- so that I can help her get into her gown and more importantly so that she doesn’t run away, lest her mind goes in a frenzy at the thought of tying the knot.

“You’ll be fine,” I reassure her, teasing a few of her curls so that they slip down to her chest in a perfect wave. She looks stunningly beautiful, with her strapless white dress that shimmers with diamonds in the light with every movement she makes.

I reach out to smooth over her veil so that it falls on either side of her face, frames her perfectly, and notice her big brown eyes staring back at me through her vanity mirror.

“You look beautiful,” I can’t keep the awe from my voice.

Her face blossoms into a smile, “you too.”

“Ah come on, you can’t say that to me on your wedding day,” I shove her playfully on the shoulder, “you’re the star of the show. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.”

“Okay mom,” she rolls her eyes before changing the subject, “So, how have things been? With Kevin?” My hands freeze in mid-action, “It’s good.”

I don’t have to look at her to know that she’s giving me a pointed look.

I sigh, “well, okay. Maybe you’re right. About the whole…’just friends’ thing not being true.”

“Why?” she straightens up, turns to me, “what happened? Did you kiss? Did he make a move--”

“No we didn’t kiss,” I’m quick to answer as my cheeks heat up. And after a few beats of hesitation, I give her a summary; the way he’d looked at me that night with eyes that held so much in them that it had made my chest swell, the way that he’d snitch glances at me whenever he thought I wasn’t paying attention, and the fact that he’d grabbed my hand and didn’t let go even long after the crowd wasn’t an issue anymore.

Emma’s eyes are wide and sparkling with a feeling that I know all too well, I can practically see the cogs turning in her head and quickly shook mine in rapid retaliation, “Emma, no.”

“But--But he’s perfect for you!” she bellows in protest, “What do you mean ‘no’?!”

“I can’t go there. Not after,...not now, it’s too soon…”

She rolls her eyes, “it’s not like he’s asking you to marry him, christ’s sake. He likes you, and I feel like you’re only trying to deprive yourself because you feel like it’s not right.”

“It’s not right--”

“Who says so?” she cuts me off then, her gaze hardening on mine with such intensity it takes everything in me not to flinch back, “who says it’s not right? It doesn’t matter if it’s after two days, two weeks, two months. You think I don’t know how it feels to be heartbroken? You can’t just keep thinking about the past. You’re going to hurt yourself that way.”

My teeth sink down onto my lower lip, her words like ice-cold knives aimed straight at my chest.

“What you can control, right now, is the present, Y/N.”

“I know,” I mumble out half-heartedly.

“I can see it, you know, the way he looks at you,” she shakes her head, “even if you don’t like him back, you gotta be aware of all that he’s done for you.”

Her hands find their way to mine, enclosing them in her grasp before squeezing them with such care that I can’t stop the tears crawling up the back of my throat.

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs next, “I don’t want to pressure you if that’s not how you feel. That--That was not my intention,” her eyes latch onto mine, filled with understanding, “I just want you to be happy.”

Happy.

That’s a word I haven’t heard in a long time.

“Don’t you dare cry now,” Emma says while waving her hands around in warning, “you’re going to ruin your makeup and we definitely don’t want that.”

I sniffle, trying my best to hold in the tears now brimming through my eyes, “you’re right,” I attempt to smile, albeit it’s wobbly, “we don’t.”

“Come here,” she tugs my arm so that I fall into her embrace. Her head finds her way to my shoulder and she hugs me tight, not caring that her veil is getting all bunched up and wrinkled, “you’ll be okay,” she whispers, one hand stroking my back, “you’ll be just fine, little one.”

Then, pulling back and pushing a few strands away from my face, she flashes a bright smile, “we should probably head to the church soon.”

----------

“We now declare you, Vincent and Emma, as husband and wife.”

The church explodes in a round of applause and I join in the clapping, furiously trying to keep the tears of joy at bay. Vincent has been there for Emma ever since they met at work and it has been the most beautiful love story ever since; filled with the purest kind of love no one can imagine. Beside me, I feel Kevin’s hand coming to squeeze my shoulder in a reassuring manner and I feel warm all over despite the rush of emotion in my heart.

The wedding reception is to take place at a fancy restaurant overlooking the harbourfront. Our family has booked the venue for the evening, and as I enter, I take in the baby blue veils that come down each corner of the restaurant, sprinkles of glitter here and there as we make our way to our assigned tables that each have a baby blue napkin shaped in swans.

I don’t even have time to place my butt down when I hear a voice call out, “Y/N! Look how big you’ve gotten!”

Of course, big wedding ceremonies only mean that we get to meet all of our extended family that we haven’t seen since forever, and they’re all too happy to chat with me about living overseas. Soon enough, I’m bustled off to a table and look back over my shoulder to mouth a quick “I’m sorry” to Kevin. Bless his soul, for he only smiles and shakes his head, his hand motioning for me to go on.

I manage to catch up with cousins I haven’t seen since I was a little girl, talk over appetizers with excited aunts who want to know all about how it feels like to live away from family for such a long time, and nod along to the old uncles trying to get me to give a concrete answer about when and where will my wedding take place.

“Come on Y/N! You’re the next one after Emma for sure,” one of my uncles bellow, face flushed red as a result of the glasses of wine he has downed like water. He is Emma’s father, no surprise that he’ll want to get drunk from happiness and pride. It is his daughter’s wedding after all.

He leans close with a conspiratorial look in his eyes, “so tell me,” his eyes glance over to Kevin, currently deep in conversation with another one of my distant aunts. I watch as he says something to make her laugh, and something inside my chest warms at the action, “is he the lucky guy that’s going to ask for your hand?”

“Do you think he’s the one?” another uncle pipes up.

I purse my lips and attempt to shrug, “it’s early days,” I try laughing it off although it sounds forced, “who knows what can happen.”

“He’s a good kid,” an aunt says, “you know how we all have this sixth sense? Well Y/N, I have a good feeling about this young man. Don’t let him go. Something tells me he’s a keeper.”

A wild imaginative speculation, considering that we’re not even dating. But I nod along and say that yes, I’ll tell them whenever I decide to tie the knot.

It’s only when the dance floor opens and people start pooling onto the dance floor after the first dance -- led by no other than the bride and groom themselves -- that I finally allow myself to breathe. I find my way back to my chair, back to Kevin’s warm smile flashing in my direction as his eyes take in the fatigue lining my face.

“You look like you could use a drink,” is the first thing he tells me the moment I plop my butt onto my designed seat, the one that’s been kept cold ever since I stepped foot into the dining hall.

I gratefully accept the glass of wine he offers me, swallowing it down in a few gulps, “thanks,” I sigh with relief, “I needed that.”

“How was catching up with family?”

“It couldn’t be as bad as being left behind,” I peer over at him, guilt flooding me at the prospect of having left him all alone, “sorry. It’s just that everyone--”

“Oh stop that,” Kevin nudges my shoulder with his, “don’t be sorry. It’s totally normal. I’m happy for you. And I wasn’t left behind. I had a wonderful time talking to your aunt. She seemed so happy to tell me what your childhood was like.”

“Bet you liked that, didn’t you?”

“Hey, it works as blackmail. Why wouldn’t I like that?”

“Dork.”

“You’re friends with this dork.”

“Oh piss off,” I slap his shoulder playfully in retaliation, causing him to laugh softly as we watch couples glide across the dance floor like swans over water. The lights have dimmed, the yellow hues now replaced by soft cool blues and purples that cause Emma’s dress to shimmer every time she turns. She’s absolutely stunningly beautiful, and the way she and Vincent are gazing at each other just scream of pure love that wraps around them in a golden mist so enchantingly beautiful that I find myself catching my breath in the back of my throat.

“She’s so beautiful,” the words fall from my mouth without meaning to, and I feel Kevin’s eyes on my face from the corner of my peripheral.

“You are too.”

I bite my lip and narrow my eyes at him playfully, “thanks, but why do I have a feeling that this isn’t a compliment?”

“It isn’t,” he holds my gaze, “it’s just the truth.”

Emotion lodges at the back of my throat. I stare at him. He stares back, a glimmer of tenderness echoing through the dark pools of black, his whole expression relaxed into a face that appears flooded with affection for--

Me.

For some reason, no words seem to come to me as I open my mouth and close it. Embarrassment slowly bubbles through my stomach. I look away, unable to contain the goosebumps suddenly exploding across the back of my neck with that same familiar uncomfortable sensation I keep getting around him these days. Like I’m standing atop a cliff and preparing myself to jump.

“Wanna dance?”

I blink in surprise, before turning to the said young man beside me who has his head cocked to the side with that same expression. My heart can’t help but squeeze inside my chest before I push down the rising protest searing through my brain.

I nod. And off we go onto the dance floor. His hands settle on my waist, mine atop his shoulders in a casual sling. There’s enough distance between our bodies to show that we’re not together and yet, I can’t deny that electrical tension that keeps on pulling me towards Kevin like a magnet. I wonder if he feels it too, that searing heat that is so palpable I can feel sweat break out from the back of my neck. Asking, though, would mean that I’m aware of what’s happening, asking would imply that I want something to happen.

Maybe I do.

Maybe I do want to grab life by the reins myself and steer it wherever I want it to go.

“What are you thinking about?”

I blink. Right up into Kevin’s brown orbs, his hair catching the shades of blue from the disco balls. My throat runs dry.

“Uh--” my mind tries to scramble for a response, any response, “just--uhm, it’s kind of like our last day here.”

He cocks his head, “sad?”

“Kinda. I like it here,” my eyes brush over Emma and Vincent’s forms in the vicinity, catch my grandma sitting at one of the tables, little cousins running all over the place. Then, I look back at the said young man gazing at me with that undecipherable look in his eyes that makes my heart sing, and try not to squirm as I continue softly, “it feels like home.”

“We can always come back,” he uses ‘we’ as though it’s now an adventure kept between the two of us, a secret to our own little neverland that nobody knows about. I can’t help but smile at the thought.

“Do you want to come back?” I ask.

“Are you kidding? Hell yeah I want to come back. The views are amazing, the food is out of this world, and your family has been really kind to me.”

“I’m sorry, they are kind of overbearing when you first get to know them.”

“I love it,” Kevin says seriously, “I love that they’re overbearing. Couldn’t have asked for anything more.”

If I had any doubts, the sincerity dripping from his eyes is enough to wipe out any suspicions left from his compliment. The sudden urge to hug him rocks through me and my hands fist on the back of his shirt in response.

We keep on dancing silently, bobbing from one foot to another for a few minutes more before he speaks up softly.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“I wouldn't mind getting married here.”

My eyebrows shoot up in surprise, “really now?”

“Yup,” he grins, “really.”

“Your future wife will have me to thank for that.”

“Maybe my future wife won’t have to thank you.”

There it is. That same borderline flirting that’s been happening for days on end.

“And why is that?” I probe, partly just to tease him, and partly because I just want to know.

“Maybe she might be right here, in this room.”

“Didn’t know you were into one of my cousins,” I start looking around the room, only for one of his hands to cup my cheek to turn my face back to his.

There is none of that teasing glimmer now. His eyes are darker, gazing down at me with such emotion that the breath catches in the back of my throat and the air halts in my lungs. We gaze at each other for a few beats longer, before I feel his thumb graze my cheek. Gently, so gently like he’d stroke a flower petal.

Swallowing at the heat of his hand cupping the side of my face, my hands unconsciously tighten on the back of his neck. He senses my nervousness, but only pulls me slightly closer so that we are mere millimeters from each other, noses hovering over each other in a space that causes my heart to stutter inside my chest.

When he opens his mouth next, his alto is hoarse, pent-up with emotion.

“I wasn’t talking about your cousins.”

My heart practically jumps to my throat, teeth biting onto my lip.

I can’t hear the music, nor the people. I can’t hear anything except for my pounding heart and Kevin’s soft breaths washing over my face.

His eyes search mine and we hold gazes for a moment too long.

“Y/N?”

I press my lips together, “Y-Yes?”

He moves even closer then so that his nose brushes mine in the most intimate of ways.

“I--”

“Y/N! I was looking all over for you!”

We spring apart like we just got burnt just in time for one of my cousins to grab onto my arm. He sends an apologetic smile at Kevin, before explaining, “we just need to sort out the takeaways. She’ll be back in a second!”

And without listening to my protests, he proceeds to drag me away from the said young man on the dancefloor. I look back, mouthing an ‘I’m sorry” once more -- it’s the second time that night!-- and see the raven-haired man laugh good-naturedly before shaking his head and waving me away. That does nothing to keep my heart from cartwheeling out of my chest, swelling up with such affection that I grin back despite the earlier predicament.

One thing’s for sure: I’m not done talking with Kevin Moon yet.

----------

I find him sitting alone in the tiny garden that overlooks the decorated pavillon a few hours later. His figure, illuminated by the soft yellow hues of interior light, seems to glow in the dark, the moon bouncing off his hair and catching the strength of his cheekbone when he turns and catches me staring. He only smiles though -- that beautiful tender smile that I keep seeing more and more these days -- before waving me over.

“What are you doing out here all alone?” I ask as I reach his figure. A soft breeze dances along the back of my spine, cool in contrast to the warm stickiness of the air.

“Your smaller cousin was showing me what she’d learnt in astronomy at her school,” he tilts his head up at the sky, “she’s quite the prodigy at that.”

“The next woman to land on the moon,” I joke.

“Jeez, I should get her autograph.”

“Wise idea,” that’s when I feel his hand slip into mine and I look down at him, blinking. He grins a little shyly, before tugging me forward so that I all but stumble right into him, halfway sprawled across his lap.

Heat explodes through my chest at the proximity of our bodies and I can’t help but avert my gaze from his, partly embarrassed that maybe there might be someone around to see, and partly because it’s only recently that I’ve started seeing Kevin in a new light that being so close makes my heart choke up and my mind to run blank.

We’re close. So close I feel his breath mingle with mine. My hands settle atop his chest lightly, “Kev,” I breathe out but nothing follows, too scared to verbally voice out what is going on for fear that it might all crumble into nothing.

I don’t want false hope. I also don’t want his heart -- or mine -- to break.

This friendship is too precious to let go. I can’t imagine a life without Kevin in it.

“Listen Y/N,” Kevin’s voice is soft, a hushed murmur resonating through his chest as his eyes search mine, “I think we both know what’s happening here.”

I nod mutely.

Taking a shaky breath, he continues, “I don’t want to do anything that will hurt you. I know it’s been tough and that you’re still healing. I just--I just want to know.”

As his words wash over me as gently as the forest leaves rustling around us, I feel the warmth of his hand cupping my cheek, holding me like I am fine china and stroking my skin with his thumb so that butterflies suddenly rush along my middle.

I bite my lip so hard I can taste blood, " I-- well, I think you already know how I feel."

"I know," he breathes, "but I need to hear it from you."

As if it isn't hard enough to come face to face with my own feelings, having Kevin stare me down as though I put the moon in his sky makes me want to squirm with a mixture of embarrassment and excitement.

“I like you,” I blurt out then, “a lot.”

There is a few seconds delay, before a shit-- eating grin --the biggest I’ve ever seen -- spreads across Kevin’s face like sunshine peeking through the clouds.

“Enough for us to go on a date?”

I nod mutely. I don’t trust my voice, not right now when I already feel so pathetic. Kevin’s grin softens into a tender smile, one that I can’t help but return when our eyes meet in the most intimate of ways. Suddenly, the air feels charged and alive with electricity, the heat between our bodies palpable as his hand moves to the back of my neck.

He tugs. I follow.

His lips find mine mid-way in a delicate kiss.

It’s soft. Softer than any kiss I’ve ever had. Kevin’s mouth parts over my own in a gentle caress, before he tilts his head to the side and captures my lower lip between his.

I gasp slightly at the contact, hands unconsciously tightening around his neck.

Slowly leaning away, I notice the film of lust like a dull glow at the back of his maroon orbs, just the slightest hint that he wants me as a woman. And that makes my lungs constrict, air suddenly halting in the back of my throat.

My skin is prickling with the aftermath of his touch. I let out a soft breath before he covers my mouth with his once more and all thoughts fly out of my brain the moment he does.

I don’t really know how long we spend outside, exchanging the softest of kisses underneath the moonlight, until I hear the soft exclamations of my family’s voices suggesting that it is time to head home. So I part from the said man and can’t help but blush at the lack of space between our bodies.

“We should probably head back,” I hate how wanton I sound, like I’ve just sprinted a mile when in truth I’ve been sitting in this very spot for the last hour.

He agrees and I descend from his lap, his hand subtly finding mine as we walk back to the wedding hall.

Emma is still saying her goodbyes, her hair now dotted with glitter, probably from the decorations that my younger cousins took pleasure in bathing her in. Her face lights up as soon as she spots our entwined hands and I try not to meet her eyes for I know exactly the kind of smug look she'll be giving me.

"Enjoyed the wedding?" She says as soon as we're within earshot.

"That must've been the best cake I've had in my life," Kevin lets out a dramatic sigh, "and that says something."

"Do I trust your taste buds though?" She teases.

"I'd be offended if you didn't," he gasped in mock offense, before they both break into playful chuckles.

As we exchange our goodbyes and Vincent engages Kevin in a conversation, Emma takes this chance to drag me to her side as she whispers, "so you gonna tell me the tea or am I going to have to extract it from you?"

I press my lips together as I try to control the heat searing through the back of my neck, "...we kissed."

She gasps, "No way! OH MY GOD! Are you guys a thing then?!" The answer is as clear as water on my face and she clamps a hand over her mouth, would've jumped up and down if she could've, "OH MY, OH MY GOD. I knew it! I just knew this was going to happen--"

"Shut up!" I hiss, scared that Kevin might overhear and think I'm a big fat tattle tale. My eyes quickly swivel over to his and I'm glad to find his head bent towards Vincent in concentration.

"You need to tell me everything," Emma's eyes are sparkling, "like--as soon as you have some free time."

"You--" I send her a pointed look, then jerk my head at Vincent, "--need to tell me everything."

"Oh I will, don't worry."

"Anyway, I'll talk to you after your honeymoon."

"Okay," I turn around to find Kevin, not failing to notice the smirk playing on Emma's lips. I slap her arm in response, causing her to laugh before she calls out:

"Don't forget to use protection!"

-----------

"We'll come back right?"

That's the first thing that Kevin states as soon as we step inside security, away from the tears of my family that I just left behind a few seconds ago. My heart still aches when I think of their faces, all crumpled and blinking at me with tissues in hand and noses as red as traffic lights. But I seek comfort upon feeling Kevin's hand slip through mine as we walk towards our destined gate.

"Sure," I look at him; at his red-tinted cheeks (probably the aftermath of a sunburn), his newly tanned skin a fresh contrast against his white shirt, and the permanent grin that seems impossible to wipe off his face. My heart instantly flutters.

It's only been a few days since we've confessed our growing romantic interest in each other, but I can already feel the weight of his love pouring out of his heart and into mine the moment he realized that my arms would be there to catch him when he fell.

"I'm not going to wake up to an empty bed tomorrow morning, am I?" He’d joked when we stumbled, half-asleep, into Emma's flat after the wedding.

I frowned at him, "Why would you think that?"

"Just in case you think that kissing me was a mistake."

A small pause ensued, in which I realized that despite all my fears and all the pain I had been carrying in my heart ever since we landed on my motherland, I had not once considered how Kevin might be feeling at this very moment.

My eyes quickly took note of his countenance, sweeping right up to his face only to notice the flash of vulnerability in his eyes, the way the corners of his mouth were tense, cheekbones taught against his skin as he awaited for my answer with baited breath.

Clearing my throat, I whispered, "it wasn't."

A soft smile tugged at his lips, "good to know."

His answer seemed so genuine, so wholehearted that my chest tightened in a mixture of gratefulness and affection, so much so that my arms automatically reached for him to tug him close. My nose found its rightful place at his neck and I breathed in his comforting lilac smell that I enjoyed so much.

I felt him take a breath. Then, softly, a hand caressed the back of my head. I buried even closer if that was possible.

"I really want this to work," my words were a muffled mess and I was surprised that he understood.

"Me too," he murmured into my hair, "and it will work. I promise I won't break your heart Y/N."

Looking back now at this tender moment in which we both weren't certain of where we were stepping, I can't help but laugh at the thought, for now the love and attraction is so natural I'm amazed it has taken this long to flourish.

Maybe I hadn't been looking the right way. Maybe I had been searching so far out and wide that I hadn't noticed that my safe harbour is the one standing right beside me.

"Hey Kevin," I call out.

Kevin turns towards me, where he'd been watching planes take off from the ground into the gorgeously blue sunny sky.

"Yeah?"

“I’m really glad you came.”

There's a few beats of silence although his mouth immediately cracks into that gorgeous, crooked grin of his that I adore so much.

“Me too.”

----

265 notes · View notes

anna-justice · 4 years ago

Text

Lost or Found - 21

Summary: As Jay, Hailey, Kim, Adam and Kevin start their junior year in the wake of a tragic summer, the past year of their lives comes back to haunt them. If you enjoyed Pretty Little Liars, this is for you! *UPSTEAD/BURZEK High School AU

...

21 - No Body, No Crime ...

Jay stirred, waking up to Hailey’s head on his chest. They must have moved in their sleep, because he was now on his back and Hailey was using him as a pillow. He peered over her to see Adam and Kim still on the floor, he was the first one up. Hailey shifted next to him and Jay wrapped his arms a little tighter around her.

“Good morning.” She groans, hiding her face in his chest.

Jay chuckled, kissing the top of her head. “Good morning. Did you sleep okay?” He asked.

“Great.” Hailey said, smiling up at him, but it was only half true. As much as she loved falling asleep in his arms, she couldn’t shake the pit in her stomach. Sleep didn’t come easy with her mind all over the place.

“So,” Jay said, grabbing her attention again. “There was something I never got to ask you last night.”

Hailey smirked, “Oh?” She asked, sitting up.

Jay pushed himself up and moved to sit across from her on the couch. “Hailey, will you be my girlfriend?” He asked.

“I don’t know Jay, I’ve got a lot of offers-” He cut her off with a kiss, both of them smiling into it. Hailey pulled away, grinning from ear to ear. “Yeah, yeah I will.” Jay pulled her into him, deciding that he could take this one moment to be happy before he dropped the bomb waiting in his basement.

There was rustling on the floor, and then a groan. A few seconds later Adam popped up off the ground. “Hey.” He said, stretching.

“Hi,” Hailey said laughing.

Kim stirred awake next and the four gathered in the mini kitchen, trying to make a decision about breakfast. Somewhere in between pop tarts and pancakes, Jay sighed. “So, there is no easy way to say this, actually I don’t know how to say this at all…”

“What?” Kim asked.

Hailey watched her (now) boyfriend carefully, hoping he was going to spill whatever the hell he was doing last night. “Um. Erin’s alive, and she’s at my house.”

…

Thirty minutes later, Hailey sat in the front seat of Jay’s truck waiting for him. After he dropped the basically nuclear bomb in the kitchen, Adam and Kim bombarded him with questions but Hailey stayed silent. She had been there when he got there last night, he dropped her off and went back to Erin. She knew that jealousy was the last feeling that she should be having right now, but all rationality was gone.

Jay slid into the driver's seat, prepared for the fight he knew he had instigated. He was waiting for tears and yelling, but all he got were Hailey’s sad eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked calmly, her eyes searching his for any explanation.

“Honestly Hailes,” He said, hitting his head against the headrest, “I thought when I got back she wouldn’t be there.”

Hailey sighed, it was a terrible excuse, which is why part of her believed him. “You still should have told me…” She said, looking straight forward.

“You’re right.” He rushed, “You are so right, I shouldn’t have lied. It was just such a terrible night and I didn’t want to wake it worse.”

Hailey shook her head, leaning back and running her hands through her tangled hair. “There is always going to be a terrible night Jay.” She said, “When are you ever going to realize that? There is nothing left to protect me from.”

“Hailey-”

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this.” Hailey said quietly.

Jay looked at her, dumbfounded. “What?”

“We don’t work Jay.” She said, shrugging. “Everytime anything good happens between us, something gets in the way. Maybe we are fighting for something that isn’t there?” Hailey had been through more in her sixteen years than most people in their entire lives and as much as she wanted to be with him, she was sick of fighting for things she would never have. She was sick of everything she loved being ripped away from her.

Jay shook his head, “No, don’t do this.” His chest felt tight, like someone was sitting on it.

“I don’t want to…” Hailey said, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“Then don’t.” Jay said, grabbing her hands from her lap. “You are right, there will always be a worse night. I have absolutely no idea why Erin is back or even why, I have no idea who is hurting us…” He trailed off. “But, I know that I love you, and I want to be with you.”

“And I want to be with you.” Hailey confessed.

Jay shifted in his seat, hesitantly reaching out to cup her cheek. He felt desperate, he was so desperate to make her understand. “I know you're scared, so am I. This is terrifying, but I know that it is worth it.”

Hailey nodded, covering Jay’s hand with hers. She looked down, trying to hide her teary eyes. “I do too. I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Jay said, nudging her chin up so that he could look at her. “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for.” He leaned in and kissed her gently, letting his lips linger. “Are you okay to head over?”

“Yeah,” She said confidently. “Let’s go.”

…

“Erin.” Kim sighed out, breaking out into a run as soon as she saw her. The two former best friends met in the middle of the room, embracing each other. “I missed you so much.”

Erin laughed, holding her tightly. “I missed you too.” Soon they broke apart and Erin made her way to Adam, “Hey.” She said, giving him a short hug. “Hailey.” She said, grinning, before hugging her.

Hailey was taken aback, she wasn’t sure their reunion was going to be warm and happy. “I’m so glad you’re alive.” She said honestly, hugging her back. It calmed her nerves a bit, she was so worried that Erin was going to hate her even more than before. Apparently presumed death helps with forgiveness.

The five of them found seats around the room, Hailey tucked in Jay’s side. She wasn’t sure if it was for her comfort or his. They all caught up, well, they caught Erin up. She retold the majority of her story from the night before and the rest of them went into more detail of their own horrors, including the night before.

Jay watched cautiously, something seemed off and after the last twenty-four hours he wasn’t sure if he even trusted his own gut. It was crazy, just the morning before he was in Hank Voight’s house thinking he was crazy for thinking Erin could be alive. That didn’t age well. “Erin.” He said, speaking out of turn.

“Yeah?” She asked, her head snapping up to look at him.

“Were you at the dance last night?” He asked.

Erin shook her head, looking confused. “No...why?”

Jay shrugged, wanting to palm himself in the forehead. “Uh, nothing.” Obviously she wasn’t, but he felt like he at least had to ask.

“So, where’s Kevin?” Erin asked, sitting back in her chair.

Kim looked at Adam, looking for help. He was none. “He didn’t go to the dance, family stuff.” She explained vaguely. She figured telling her that they all had a huge fight about her the night before was probably a bad idea.

“That sucks.” Erin sighed, “Are Vinessa and Jordan okay?”

Adam took that one, “Yeah, they’re fine. His mom just needed help.”

“Speaking of Kevin.” Jay said, standing up. “ I think I’m gonna go over there and get him. He doesn’t know about Erin.” He grabbed his keys off the coffee table, silently checking with Hailey if it was okay for him to leave, she nodded her head slightly.

“Yeah, okay.” Adam said.

Jay made his way towards the stairs, “I’ll see you guys in a little bit.” He was about to leave when a board he hadn’t looked at in a long time caught his eye. The same strings and print outs still attached, so much had changed since then.

Hailey shifted in her seat, she felt a little less comfortable with Jay gone. “Jay told me what happened in the garage.” Erin said, grabbing her attention. “I’m so sorry, I’m so glad you guys are okay. That must have been terrifying.”

Kim nodded, “Us too,” She glanced at Hailey. “We got lucky that the boys found us.”

Erin sighed, giving Hailey a sympathetic look. “And Hailey, it must have been so hard to see your parents after so long. Jay told me that your dad showed up at the hospital.”

Hailey froze. “What?”

Adam watched the exchange, he knew that Hailey’s parents showed up, so did Kim. But none of them had told Hailey and he wasn’t sure why Jay would have told Erin. Kim caught his eyes across the room, giving him a look, silently agreeing to admit to knowing nothing.

“You didn’t know?” Erin asked, “I’m so sorry, I assumed you knew…”

Hailey gave her a small smile, “It’s fine. He didn’t tell me, I guess he thought it was best I didn’t know.” While she appeared fine to everyone else, she could barely breathe. She was somewhere between crying and furious. She was sure Jay had his reasons for keeping it himself, one of them being that even several weeks later the thought of her father seeing her so lifeless and vulnerable still made her stomach churn. But, the fact that he chose not to tell her, but told Erin, that cut deeper than she ever thought it could.

…

When Kevin opened the door, Jay was almost sure he was going to slam it in his face. “What?” He asked.

“I have some news.” He said, “Can I come in?” Kevin took a step back to let him through, eyeing him. “First, I want to apologize for last night. I could have handled things better.”

Kevin sighed, “Me too man. I’m sorry. We cool?” He asked, holding out his hand.

Jay shook it, smiling softly, “Yeah, we’re cool.”

“So, what’s up?” Kevin asked, falling into his couch.

Jay chuckled, “You are never going to believe this.”

Kevin laughed, “Try me.”

“Erin’s alive.” He deadpanned.

Kevin’s face fell, “What?”

“She’s alive and in my basement. I know it’s crazy-” Kevin jumped up and ran into the other room, “-what’s wrong?” Jay asked as he came rushing back.

Kevin held up a notebook. “I-” He started. “I wrote everything down. Every text, everything. Ever since Vinessa had that doll I’ve been writing down theories and I-”

“Kev, what are you saying?” Jay asked, his heart beating faster.

“Jay.” Kevin sighed, “What if it’s been Erin this whole time?” He asked.

“What?”

“Just think about it.” He said, flipping through the notebook. “Hailey said the only person that knew about her dad was Erin. Erin knew that Hailey didn’t want us to know. No one else knew. And you, you were the only other person to know about Nadia and Mr. Sampson, Erin knew that. She also knew how good Nadia looked for it all. She set us all up Jay. She gave Vinessa the doll and told her that we would see her soon.”

Jay’s head was spinning, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “No-no, she told me that she was getting threats too. That’s why she ran…”

“Do you have any proof?” Kevin asked.

Jay thought back to not thirty minutes ago when he saw the board, he had combed through every message on Erin’s phone and there were no threats, no blocked numbers. Why would she delete them? “No…”

“She left her phone for you to find! She knew you would come after her, she set us all up! She had to have killed that girl and put her bracelet on her. She wanted us to think she was dead.” Kevin explained.

Jay collapsed on the couch. “There’s no way…”

“Jay.” Kevin snapped, “It’s Erin.”

“Ohmigod.” He said, running his hands through his hair. “It’s Erin...Shit. Hailey, Adam and Kim are with her right now.”

…

Adam felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, pulling it out he checked the caller ID. “It’s Jay.” He said, standing and walking to the other side of the room. “Hey man.”

“Are you still with Erin?”

“Yeah, why?” Adam asked, lowering his voice.

“You guys need to leave right now.” There’s a pause. “Adam, it’s Erin.”

“Huh?” He huffed, not really comprehending.

“Erin is the one behind the texts. Make up an excuse and get the hell out of there as soon as you can.”

Internally, he was freaking out, but Adam played it cool. “Okay. I’ll see you guys in a bit.” Adam hung up the phone, his hands shaking as he fumbled for keys. “Hey guys, we gotta go-”

Pop.

…

A/N: I’M SORRY. I’m so sorry. The next chapter will be up soon, I promise! Thank you so much for reading! <3

@lissethsrojas @fuckyeahkillianemma @puckluck28 @chilly7188 @thebigapocalypsewolf @karihighman @ruzek-halstead @anotheronechicagobog @snowwhite013 @tracysupton @angelsjedi

#jay halstead #hailey upton #upstead #upstead au #kim burgess #adam ruzek #burzek #burzek au #kevin atwater #erin lindsay #chicago pd #chicago pd au #one chicago

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jumoonjae · 4 years ago

Text

Kevin Moon

PAIRINGS: KEVIN MOON X READER

GENRE: ANGST

WORD COUNT: 2012 WORDS

WARNING: TERMINAL DISEASE, CHARACTER DEATH

Loosely inspired by Five Feet Apart& The Fault In Our Stars

Kevin Moon

The first time he heard his name came out from your lips was on the first night when he was admitted to the hospital after being diagnosed with heart valve disease, that he felt so ridiculous for suffering it at just the age of 22.

He feel dejected, his whole world came crushing down and all his dream shattered like a broken glass right in front of his eyes. For the first time he was lost, so lost that he couldn’t see anything aside from the newfound illness. So lost that his mind couldn’t think of anything, like it already give up on himself, his body, his future because he had no future. Well not anymore.

He told his nurse he wanted to stay at the garden but instead he went up to the rooftop just to try his luck for a place to be in peace, unbothered.

He was lucky that night.

But after a while, you came. He look back when he saw you in his peripheral view, rustling with your bag while looking at him with the biggest smile on your face that he ignored right away. You’re just a stranger anyway. Some stranger that he met during his stay at the hospital and strangers are temporary.

You have the name of my most favourite thing in this world.

You beamed walking to him, sitting down right next to him with a safe distance, but he ignored you still, looking ahead to the city lights pushing your voice away to the back of his mind. You’re kind of annoying, you talked too much for his liking and oddly cheerful for someone who wore hospital gown and had those breathing tube stuck on your nose with oxygen tank inside your bag.

But as time passed, he had grown used to your presence by his side at the rooftop every night. Looking at sky in silence.

Why are you here?

He asked one day after a full week not uttering a single word to you aside from telling you his name.

Oh, just because my lungs had no idea how to work properly. It keep malfunctioning and stuffs.

You shrugged like it was nothing to you while looking up to the stars and the full moon making his gut twisted in sympathy.

How long have you been here?

He asked again.

Three years and a half since the first diagnose.

He stayed silence because a ‘sorry' couldn’t fix any of it. He didn’t want to dig deeper because he’s afraid that his question could scare you off just like it did to him when people asked about his illness. He didn’t want to explain it to anyone anymore, he hate how serious his condition are when he said it out loud. But you never asked, maybe you understands how it feels. How he feels and he had found comfort in your presence since then.

I’m going to die you know.

He confessed one day, when his treatment doesn’t seems to fix what it supposed to. He had grown tired even if its just two week. But two week feels like forever to him. He missed his life outside the hospital, he missed his piano, he missed the feeling of playing again. He missed everything that the hospital couldn’t provide him.

He was expecting sympathy from you, or a ‘sorry’ but instead you just gave him a smile. A smile that he couldn’t decipher the meaning was. But your next words put a stop in his rustling mind that filled with worries, that could no longer see the future.

We are all dying Kevin Moon. That is not a new thing, but letting the fear of dying hinder you from living is a bad choice. What are the quote that said live like we’re dying are made for? And bla bla bla.

You chuckled, hugging your bag between your legs, looking up like you always do and he thought of nothing else but to think but how right you are.

We are special Kevin Moon you know that?

You look away from the moon to him with a smile, a smile of satisfaction, a smile full of proud.

Why?

Because god had given us advantage by telling us that we are dying soon. So all we gotta do is live fully at our last moment, stop taking advantage at anything or everything. Apologize to people who we had hurt and love while we can. We get a step ahead from everyone else by knowing how and when it will end so we can be prepare.

And that is the moment where he fall in love with you.

He look forward to see you every night at the rooftop, your word had given him strength to live every single day since that night. He started to fight again thanks to you and he even dare to dream again. You give him so much strength to fight that he finally feeling alive again.

He even started to open up to you, filling the once was silence with everything about him which you always listen to without interrupting.

He missed the session with you one night when he suffered a mild heart attack. But you came to his room on the next day, watching him from the outside through the square glass on the door. You were smiling at him showing your fist and mouthed ‘hwaiting’ before leaving without coming close to him.

Heart transplant.

It was a chance, a second chance for him. Even if it take forever for him to wait for a donor he would take it if its the only way he could be with you. Maybe to have a future with you.

He told you about the news without the mention of his plans about his future with you and you looked relieved. Your smile never seems to falter everytime he speaks about everything. Things between him and you had take a full turn where he talked a lot and you just listen to him in silence with a fond smile that really melts his heart.

You always came by during the day since his doctor had restricted his movement, you told him about the moon each time, never once you asked about his condition or how his illness are. You just listen. Listening and looking at him like he is your whole world. Hew saw that and he knew that look, but he keep it to him planning to confess to you only after he had his surgery.

A month had passed and he noticed your skin was getting paler and bone on your cheek seems more prominent each day.

Its just the medicine.

You shrugged him off when he asked, but your reason didn’t settled well in him. But he shrugged it off anyway.

We have a donor.

The words struck him like a rainbow with stars that lit his whole life in instant and the first thing he wanted to do is to share it with you. But you didn’t came that day, or the next day.

He waited for you to come before the surgery but you didn’t show up. He wanted to go to your ward room but his nurse told him to rest.

Few hours before the surgery another nurse came into his room handing him a piece of paper with a smile. A smile that didn’t seem to reach her eyes. She left before he could say anything.

Hwaiting Kevin Moon. Y/N ♥️

And that simple note from you washed away all of the worries he had for you. He fold the small paper and place it in one of the page of his sketchbook with a smile and let your image occupies his mind and thoughts.

He was out for a few days after the successful surgery. The sound of the machine inside the room stirred him from unconsciousness, as his eyes fluttered open, he saw you standing right next to his bed smiling down to him. You looked healthier, and your cheek that once pale looked like it had been kissed by the rose itself, you were shining so bright. You were beautiful, smiling like an angel. You caressed his forehead, stroking his hair back which he close his eyes to your gentle touch.

Live well Kevin Moon.

You said before taking your leave as he drift back to unconsciousness.

A lot of people came after the surgery. Congratulating him and all, some of his close friends and family, doctors and nurses, even the patient that he had made friend thanks to you.

But you weren’t there.

You didn’t come.

Kevin Moon,

The first time i saw you, you looked like an angel. I know I’m being exaggerated, but i swear, you shine brighter than the moon itself that night. You were cold to me and i am offended since that is my spot, but i let it slip because you’re the new kid.

He laughed at your word letting the scene settled inside his mind and a frown quick to take over, then his lips trembles at every words you had written.

You know how much I love the moon, but do you know why?

He smiled again, remembering how you used to describe the moon and the way you look up to it.

Because it bring peace to me in silence, it has the power to keep me sane, just like you did to me. I know its late but when I said i want to give my heart to you, i really mean it you know. I really like you Kevin Moon. I like you so much that for the first time I hope that i am not sick so i can be with you and plan our future just like healthy people did. For the first time i prayed so hard my lungs could be cured and for the first time i despised god for making me sick.

He shut his tightly that had been filled with his tears and let it fall down to his cheek.

But at least you have my heart now that it will put me to ease. And you have got your second chance now Kevin Moon, go live your life, go to Beyonce concert, let people listens to your music, paint everything that catches your eyes and love with all your hearts.

Our hearts.

Its our heart now Kevin Moon, it belongs to you forever at least. Its the piece of me that you can keep, its the piece of me that will always belongs to you. Live well Kevin Moon.

I love you.

Y/N.

He broke down at your last sentences, hunching his back burying his face on his palm with your letter still on his grip, crying out loud. How he had taken you for granted by not telling how much he like you too, no. How deep he had fallen in love with you. He thought that you were getting better, he thought you still have time.

Even how much you reminded him every single day to not take advantage on things, but he did it to you.

Live well Kevin Moon.

Your word keep repeating inside his head with the image of you. Only you. Your smile, giggles, laugh and all your bubbliness.

She told me a lot about you Kevin, thank you for making her feel how to fall in love.

He raise his head looking at your mother who was seated next to his bed. She smile fondly to him, caressing his shoulder which made him cry harder at her words.

How was her last moment?

He bravely asked in between his sniffles.

She was happy Kevin, knowing that she will give her heart to someone she knew could do so much greater things in the future. She was so brave, my child.

She force a smile, biting her own lips holding her tears.

And she told me to make you promise to take care of that heart. That big heart of her.

I promise.

A/N: Sorry i have been inactive lately, block sucks you know and i'm taking a break for a little while. But i'm still actively writing tho, experimenting with different kind of style, but i wont post everything until i feel like it. This one is one of my experiment. I hope it wreck your soul like it did to me. Thank you so much for taking your time to read this piece. It mean a lot to me. I love you.

#the boyz scenarios #the boyz #tbz scenarios #tbz #tbz au #tbz drabbles #tbz kevin #the boyz kevin #kevin moon #the boyz angst #tbz angst #angst #kevin moon scenarios

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irameii · 4 years ago

Text

HEATHER:||: ERIC

Warnings:|| one sided love

Summary: I wish I was her....

A laugh rings throughout the air. One so familiar, you cant help but smiling automatically at the sound. His presence, one that illuminates wherever he goes. Slowly turning around, there he is ,your best friend.

There it is , a smile, a gesture so simple yet it causes a million butterflies to flutter within you and causes your mind to go fuzzy. Its like he doesn't know his own charm or the control he has over you, but no one knows. No one knows the feelings you carry within.

(Idkh these pov thingys work yet sorryy)

Eric: y/n!!!!!!. Eric yells as he jogs closer, and grabs y/n's shoulder y/n: yes Eric?* deep breath* Eric: did you do the homework for math class? * Breathe* y/n: Yeah I did.I actually finished it before class ended yesterday. Eric: you're gonna let me see it right??? *heart beating gets louder* Take a step back Y/n : nope. You should've done it. *starts walking down the hall* Thinking he's wandered off you let out a deep sigh... Knowing if you let him beg enough youd cave in and you knew better. He would never learn this way.and soon enough you could see yourself falling farther and farther into his grasp over time and he didnt even know it. You let out one more sigh before turning around to see Kevin , who cant help but look at you concerned. Kevin: whats wrong y/n?

.. You avoid eye contact. Kevin is one of those people. Someone who can tell when someones upset. He can read you well. So you knew you had to leave quickly. Y/n: I didnt get much sleep last night. So I'm feeling quite off today, its nothing serious. *nervous laughter*

He seems to kind of believe it since he just nods his head as if he can see it apparent on your face.. But something feels off, like he's pretending to believe you for your sake but you just excuse yourself and head towards the bathroom.Totally unaware he hasnt stopped looking your way since turning around as he nods to himself again as if comfirming somthing to himself before turing to head to his own class.

Y/n Pov

*splash*

*in a quiet voice* 'Whats wrong with me..'.. Its like the moment I look at him I cant help it. My heart begins to race, my stomach ends up feeling funny like there are millions of butterflies, and I get nervous and run away each time he gets closer... *Looks back at self in mirror* only if he knew...

(5 min later.)

*sigh* *walks towards math*

Other POV

You sit down before class begins , and there it is again , his laughter, but this time its different. You cant help but turn around to see whats caused the change in his voice, and its like your throat gets caught. Her. The girl he always is talking to you about.It seems like he was finally able to build the courage to talk to her. The one he wants to take to the movies to see his favorite movies with. The one he wants to show his safe places to . The one who keeps him up at night. The one he wants to wear matching clothes with. The one he wants to spend his holidays with. Her. Its her. Guess he didn't need the homework anymore afterall.

You quickly turn back around , trying to keep your emotions in. You feel yourself go colder with each sound. A tightening feeling in your chest builds everytime you hear them laughing . You sigh and breathe in slowly , praying the class ends quickly .

The moment class ended you jolt up quckly and grab your things and head towards your locker for the next class.

Y/n Pov

*sigh* *grabs snack for break*

Eric:y/n!!!

I dont respond.

Eric:y/n? Whats wrong .*looks concerned*

There he goes again.

Nothing Eric i say. He looks in disbelief. Knowing theres something off.

Eric: hmmm.You sure sure?. Hmm Well lets go with the rest of the guys. They are waiting for us for sure. *wraps arm around shoulder*

It was like a sudden new reflex. I didnt mean to. But jerking away from him seemed like the only thing that my body felt like I should do...

The look of surprise on his face made me feel embarrassed I reacted that way. And as soon as it looked like he was going to ask me what was wrong again I speed down the hall.

And there I meet the rest of the guys , thankfully.

New: thank goodness you're here. Look help me out. Changmin keeps saying this chucky doll here is cute... Come get him .

I cant help but laugh. I take a seat next to Sangyeons right side while Juyeon is on my left.

Juyeon looks towards me as i sit and smiles that crescent moon kind of smile. Of course i return it .

Y/n: I dont know about chucky being cute. But his bride is quite a beauty tho.

New:..... You... You two are something else with your horror movies... Like... You know what, forget it. *laughs in defeat.*

Y/n: *dramatic gasps* my oh my you say that like WE'RE the weird ones.🙄👀

Sunwoo and Q: periodt👀👏

Eric finally arrives.

Eric: Guys!! Guess what?

Sunwoo: you did your math homework for once?

Eric:.... Mm well Uh no, i didnt

Sangyeon: you didnt ask y/n for the answers this time?

Eric: no i did, but she said no. I got it from. H/n (her name)

Hyunjae: so thats what it is. You spoke to her?

*breathe*

Eric: yes and guys, like, I think I've maybe got a chance.

There he goes again... Her. Its all her. JUST her...

Jacob: so did you ask her out?

Eric: yeah I did. I invited her to our movie night tonight. I was gonna ask you guys if you guys were cool with it beforehand but I didnt think I would must the courage to.

Juyeon: anything for you to get the girl. We got you

New: IF he gets her. She just doesnt know the headache she's in for.

Sangyeon: Guess all that practice on y/n was worth it.

Practice...

Thats all I was....

He says it smiling towards me , not knowing the hurt his words have just caused subconsciously but I cant smile. Not even a forced one. I just pretend I didnt heard him.

Eric: yeah she told me she actually thought I was dating y/n but of course I could never. We're like siblings.

Ouch...

New: true...

Q: I dont even think eric is y/n's type anyways

I make eye contact with someone who seems to have been watching my every move.

Kevin...

He looks like he is observing everything... From my reactions to my responses.After another 3 seconds he looks away.Not saying a word either.

Everyones laughing. Everyones congratulating him.

Younghoon:y/n?

Everyone turns to face me.oh .

Y/n: hm?

I was too lost in thought. I spaced out.

Sangyeon: What time are you coming by?

Y/n: for what?

Sunwoo: for the movie. We gotta all be Eric's wingman here. He needs all the help we can offer.

Oh.. She will be there too? Can I handle it? Yes? No? No I cant handle it

Y/n: Uh i cant . I have something that just came up. I just remembered.

I lied. And sure enough. I was seen through.

Eric: like what?

Y/n: something

Q: really? What is it? Maybe we can help you out so you can come by and hang out.

Something is snapping within me. I need to leave.

Y/n: no thanks. You guys have fun.

I get up before they give me a response. I cant be around them . not until i get over these feelings. But its harder than i thought. But i dont want to take it out on them either so I should try.

Everytime We'd see each other after that. It was HER. It was either him with her or about her.

Everytime in class, itd be HER.

Every text , HER.

And the guys went along with it.

And everytime , itd hurt. A punch to the heart. And a bit tighter it would feel each time.

And the constant reminder that its just HER and will always be HER..

only if he knew.. I wish I was her.... its like the way he'd talk about her was like he was telling you the reason for his existence, the way his eyes shined when hed see her and then theyd soften when she'd smile at him,the smile he'd have when hed describe her or simply talk about her and trust me he was always proud to, or the way he tried to contain his happiness when she'd come around to speak to him just showed me all i needed to know.

He loved her. She made him happy . Thats all that mattered.

I felt one of those sad smiles form. Because though he was happy . I was not. I dont want to be reminded its not me constantly..so with thaat thought. I call it quits. Until I no longer feel this feeling. I'll distance myself so I can let go properly and move on with time.

I suddenly stopped responding to the gc messages. Slowly started to decline to hang out. But it seems it wasn't a big deal though. She was there eveytime instead.She became apart of everything they did. And with that I started to spend all my time in the library as a way to naturally distance myself. The guys were worried at first. But once i told them I needed perfect scores to get into my dream college, they decided me spending most of my time in the library for it was alright. It was for my other "dream college" so I should put it first they said. For my future they said.And then they also suddenly stopped asking me to hang out.It didnt take long.They also suddenly stopped directing messages towards me in the gc. Personal messages as well. Slowly one by one. We stopped having things to talk about ,like we've become strangers with time.. Now to just glances every now and then, that was all. Other than that, we became just like strangers. Strangers with memories....

Suddenly..

Kevin: y/n...

*Distant laughter*

I turn to look at Kevin.Sensing he had something to say but it wouldnt come out. He looks towards the table and I follow his gaze towards the table full of boys with her in it. I can only smile. I smile when they errupt with laughter at something new and sunwoo said. Happy they're happy. And with that I turn back to Kevin.

I can only smile at Kevin. No words. Just a smile.

The look on his face says he has something to say still present.

For the past 6 months. He would have that same look on his face when I'd walk past him. But hes never actually stopped me.

Kevin: y/n...

And just like that . Suddenly I'm wrapped in a warmth I didnt think I missed. And it's like it went quiet..and the sound of sniffling fills my ears , and his hold gets tighter. Oh Kevin..

THE END.

Authors note: Maybe I can male a Pt2? This one turned out bad tbh .

I did not edit this but i will later onnnn thank youuuuuu

#the boyz scenario #the boyz eric #the boyz #the boyz oneshots #the boyz angst #the boyz onesided love #the boyz kevin

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akegatacchi · 5 years ago

Text

Sense8 AU!aftg

In the honor of absolutlynothing I’ve decided to put out there one of the many au I have on my phone and archive it there

Big shout out to @a-m-peengoo and @bluesuederose for participating in this mess with genius lines and always be there to bear my 36 ideas per hour. We did a masterpiece girls.

Here we go it’s gonna be long

The cluster:

Kevin: Nomi. He’s just a fuckin hacker who’s running away from his family (riko). When he’s bored, he spends nights crashing the Pentagon system for fun, and makes every screen in the White House play Best Exy Actions Compilation (the longest and hardest part is choosing one compilation to play).

Dan: Will. One of them have to keep them under control. Plus, Dan with a gun i can’t even-

Matt: Riley. Soft, blue strand of hair, a heart of gold, maternal. As a DJ. Yes. SO SOFT (he still knows how to box)

Allison: Capheus. Listen. Imagine Allison in high heels, skin tight leather pants, driving a bus. Also, a F1 pilot champion who can drive anything (even if it’s the first time)

Andrew: Wolfgang. Duh. Do I need to explain myself. Just think abt him saying “This is Berlin. Those are my people. And we go to our knees for no one”.Boy he does NOT like this situation, at all. Will keep the others out with sheer willpower and no blockers. The cluster’s deadliest weapon. PLUS HELLO???? ANDREW IN A PASTEL PINK BOMBER SHOOTING ON A HELICOPTER WITH A BAZOOKA????

Aaron: Felix? Sorta? not a senseate but a great doctor. Senses bullshit and when someone is in Andrew’s body real quick (Andrew: says more than 2 sentences and is pleasant. Aaron:.....who’s that bitch where is my brother) . Later helps to manufacture blockers.

Neil: Kala. A pharmacist that uses his skill for arson and may or may not be running away from mafia/family matter and currently hiding in India. Him saying “Bring it, bitch” to Riko is my sexuality and Andrew’s. Can create explosives from a Fanta can and spices I mean it’s already canon in aftg. (plus andreil would work even better bc technically Neil can’t even touch Andrew for real)

Nicky: Lito. The drama, the sass. Also the scene where he discovers the Twinyard in Germany are his cousins would be hilarious. The scene where Lito seduces the nurse but with Nicky (“engaging into heterosexual activity? me????”) or the scene where Lito screams in the museum but with Nicky

Erik as Hernando. That’s it that’s the post.

Renee: Sun. I mean, a korean fighter lady in prison trying to be a better person and had a silent bffs relationship with a german gangster? Come on. Also. Allison in a bus and Renee doing art martials stuff.

Riko: whispers i guess he can eat Allison’s high heels

Now the ~scenes~ (it’s just shitposting):

Aaron, on the verge on several break downs: wait so you have like … DJ Blue Matt and F1 pilot Allison Reynolds in your head? since when? ANDREW SINCE WHE-

Neil: what’s a better use of a multiple thousands dollars education than precise arson?????

Aaron: why does your boyfriend always end up burning things up?

Andrew: he lits up my heart as well

Aaron: FOR FUCK SAKE

Kevin, shocked and betrayed: is there a better sport than exy?

Aaron and Allison: YEAH A REALLY GOOD CAR RACE

Allison: you’re - you’re like the spirit of Lucy Liu. In Charlie’s Angels. I watch it once a day. Renee:.....that’s sweet actually :)

Neil: does a molotov cocktail

Matt: I tHoUgHt yOu wErE a PhArMaCiSt

Neil: Yes? That’s PHYSICS

Matt: no that’s ARSON NEIL

Alternative:

Kevin: breaks into the Pentagon virtually

Neil: breaks into the Pentagon physically

Matt, again: i thought you were a PHARMACIST!!!! Neil: Yes I am??? That’s irrelevant

A senseate sibling, escaping, grabbing a vehicle at random: someone knows how to drive that?

Allison, in stilettos : no, but I sure will soon

Just Allison driving Renee around to fight people

Everytime someone mocks a senseate sibling Neil or Nicky shows up to roast them. Sometimes they do it both at the same time. It’s apocalyptic. The sass. The drama.

They can also bullshit their way out of any situation. Neil is such a smooth liar and Nicky is just ridiculous. The FBI agent charged to arrest them somehow ends up crying abt childhood trauma while hugging a teddy bear.

Neil, caught in the act of making a string of explosives by the FBI guy: uuuuuuh….Nicky?

Nicky, currently dealing with a white mom in retail: somehow convince the FBI to buy christmas lights

(Yes Nicky works in retail bc his family cut ties with him but he hopes to be an actor.ON BROADWAY)

(From retail to actor to cluster negotiator real quick)

A fuckin moron to Allison: a hottie like you driving a bus? what is this, hooker on wheels?

Neil: please let me have this one

Allison: seats back and enjoys Neil roasting him

Nicky: brings the popcorn

Nicky, to the FBI guy: You can’t arrest me Daryl I’m your long lost little brother

The FBI guy, a white man: My name is not Daryl Neil: THAT’S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BELIEVE

The FBI guy, texting Neil (don’t ask): I guess I’m still in love with my ex

Nicky: aaaaaw we have to help this sweetheart

Neil: do you want me to burn his current boyfriend’s car, buddy?

(Nicky: DON’T REMIND HIM THAT HE’S SUPPOSED TO ARREST US)

A fuckin homophobe: ready to get your ass kicked, faggot?

Andrew: appears through Nicky

Nicky, smiling: fuck yeah, baby

Andrew, between two bazooka shot, to Neil: we’re nothing

Nicky, through Andrew, all cheery: Hi!!!! :D

(Aaron jumps like a scared cat)

Andrew: ready to kill ppl for mafia business

All the senseate siblings in the back minus Renee, eating popcorn and enjoying the show: Kick ass, Drew!

Andrew, on the hospital bed: has an emotional moment with Aaron

Aaron: sir or ma'am, idk who you are but it’s family only, I will ask you, as his doctor, to leave my brother’s body

Aaron: Andrew is2g if you’re making psychic love to that fuckin red hair rn i will-

Andrew each time a senseate is hurt: Aaron it’s for you

(Just Aaron doing med tutorials for a whole cluster while Andrew repeats it with a bored tone to everyone)

(Aaron, sighs: it is Neil again? Just let him bleed for a few minutes)

Neil, making bomb with kitchen stuff: If it means losing you then no

Andrew, falling in love: oh

Bad guy: You have no weapon, blondie!

Allison, with Renee and Dan behind her: Think again, sweetheart

They made a little “honorary cluster member” badge to Aaron (he does not cry STFU NEIL)

Dan and Neil both knows by heart the laws of different countries…..for very different reasons.

Luther: humiliates Nicky once again

Renee: calmly breaks his hand at dinner while smiling like an angel, all the while stopping Andrew from killing him with the other hand

Neil, a pharmacist: blowing shit up and arson

Aaron, a doctor, watching him: yk what hold my beer I know several ways to stop a man’s heart

The whole “You don’t know how to use a gun” “No, but you do” with andreil or matt and dan

Just Drew and Renee kicking some mafia asses together as buddies

(While Neil blows some shit up in the background and Allison/Nicky cheer)

Matt has the perfect ear too

Him and Kevin are the remote operation/communication team but one day all the fighters/criminals of the cluster are busy so they both start to fight as well and fuck they are good at it

Nicky: I expected this from Biceps Matt but Kevin??? You can land a kick like that???

Kevin, outraged: I WENT TO THE EXY OLYMPICS WHEN I WAS 16

Speaking of Kevin, they all call him “nerd” or “einstein”

Allison: so the nerd can fight uh

Aaron, counting down on his fingers: so you have F1 Pilot Superstar Allison Reynolds, former gold medalist and tech genius Kevin Day, a human diapason, a multilingual arsonist, World no.1 Taekwondo Champion Renee Walker, a cop, an actor…..what are you there for??

Andrew, literally a mafia king:....ice cream and crime?

Neil to Andrew, after the whole debacle with his father is out: You did know there were mafia out of Germany too, right?

Andrew: I can’t even have that for myself fuck this family

Dan, every time before each “mission”: okay guys I know we need to do it but I’d like to remind ALL of you *looks pointly at Neil and Andrew* it’s STILL illegal and morally dubious

Neil: …….like I said to Nicky, irrelevant *without missing a beat blows up the entire building and puts on stolen Gucci shades*

Alternative:

Neil: ok saint theresa why were you the one to suggest we explode Riko’s brain off then

Dan: ...don’t turn the conversation around me it’s about you

Allison “guess we’re detourning a place next” Reynolds and Kevin “It’s not that hard to pilot” Day

(Kevin: But why are you on a plane to Russia? I thought you were in India last time?

Neil:....don’t ask)

Aaron to Andrew, where they are trapped and betrayed: your boyfriend wouldn’t happen to know how to poison a whole room with gaz?

Neil: I was born for this moment

(Andrew: just bc you’re my brother doesn’t mean you have the right to dirty talk my boyfriend)

Andrew: be gay, do crime and eat ice cream

Nicky: AND BLOW NEIL’S D-

(before they know abt Neil’s past, when Andrew is angsty bc he caught feelings)

Andrew: You shouldn’t get close to me, it’s dangerous, i’m mafia

Neil: oh haven’t you heard-

Jeremy, bouncing out of nowhere: Hey Kev ! Love how you BI-nary code ahah have you heard of the ARCHIPELAGO

Neil, sipping tea: so my father is the Butcher

Matt: okokokok coolcoolcoolcool yk what arson doesn’t sound like a bad idea after all

(this one is not funny sorry) but Neil taking over each time someone is hurt bc he is used to deal with it

“Give the pain to me”

Andrew and Aaron like to fuck around a lot with the whole sensate stuff (since only one of them is a sensate)

Bad guy: only one of you is a sensate, which one is it?

Twinyard, in a perfect and flat tone: try to guess

A bad guy is spying on Andrew and waiting to kill him in Germany, via a cam, thinking he’s safe BUT SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER it was aaron dressed as Andrew in a mafia meeting and now you have to deal with a 5 feet tall mafia boy

For real tho they are a little protective of the normal doctor who heal them every time (yes even Neil but don’t tell him) so you bet something like that happens one day:

Aaron: comes home from work angry

Andrew, cleaning up blood or counting money: whassup shithead?

Aaron: There’s this older doctor he’s great and all but he’s a fuckin asshole to me he belittles me everyday bc i’m young and we lost a patient today bc he rathers humiliate me than let me save him

Andrew, a dangerous glint in his eyes and a whole cluster behind him: oh?

Kevin, opens his computer and digs up dirt on him: give me a sec

Allison: I can roll over him with my truck

Neil: there is so many ways to mix two meds and kills him ON ACCIDENT

Dan: let’s see how he deals in prison

Nicky: oh this is going to be fun

Kevin, reciting facts like he’s reading a grocery list: so yeah he smuggles meds from the hospital so local drug dealers, illegally sells meds for himself on the black market, does tax evasion, is friend with a local senator and both of them are involved with minors….i have already several reservation at X hotel btw and cases of work harassment on nurses and interns, threats to others older doctors in serve, and OH. OH. We have a spanking kink on our hands too.

Every members of the cluster, turning to Nicky and Neil:....go wild

Nicky, giggling: not that’s it’s a shame when it’s consensual but not here so - let’s start with the spanking :D

Neil: Can I make him cry

No violence is used but the doctor is found on the floor drowning in his own tears after a few minutes and after an hour he’s resigned and leaving the country

Andrew was dressed as Aaron for that (that being: smuggling Neil and Nicky into the hospital to meet the doctor through him) and sends him a selfie of a 5 feet surgeon and the man crying on the floor

It’s their best memory as a family (Aaron hates Neil a little less after that)

Neil to Nicky: why did you stop me from pushing towards suicide??? He’s gonna do that in another country

(Kevin: no if I can help it)

Nicky: bc we don’t do that to people!

Neil, Andrew, Aaron, Allison:...........right

Neil: killing even indirectly is no good but destroying their life and humiliating them publically is good?

Nicky: YES!

Matt and Dan: WAIT NO

(Allison: don’t brother Neil you’ll just hurt your head)

(Neil, close to tears: but...but...but arson?? Andrew, with knives out: alright fuckers who broke his heart?)

Matt and Dan bc they’re fuckin weak to Neil: ITS OK BUDDY ARSON IS GOOD

I have to end on this note:

Storyline wise, Neil would have make the perfect Wolfgang too….if Wolfgang was a twink.

#aftg #the foxhole court #tfc #andreil #hc #hcs #headcanon #headcanons #sense8 au #neil josten #andrew minyard #aaron minyard #dan wilds #matt boyd #reene walker #allison reynolds #kevin day #nicky hemmick #all for the game

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