#my heart feels so heavy every time i wake up from a dream with him in it
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you ever miss someone so much that they start appearing in your dreams every night? ahaha.....me neither
#just my silly thoughts#guys help me. i havent thought this much about him in a year#it is nooooottt good. idk why i suddenly started thinking about him so much but it is so distressing#he's been in all my dreams for the past two weeks and its making me so sad#my heart feels so heavy every time i wake up from a dream with him in it#its starting to just....make me sad all the time too#i feel so empty and like. idk incomplete lately#its affecting everything i do and it is so not slay honestly.#it makes me so angry that im thinking about him and that im still putting so much energy in him#it makes me so angry i cant sit down and talk to him one last time.#i know i talk shit about him regularly and tell everyone what he did to me when they ask.#but i just want one last conversation with him where we just.....talk#not about us. or what happened. or if either of us has changed. or if we're sorry or not#i just want to talk. i just want to know how he is. i want to hear about his cat and his favorite band i want to hear how his sister is#i want to hear about the new friends he's made and how his birthday was#and it devastates me that i cant.#I want to talk to him about theater and i want to telll him about my favorite books and tell him all the lore of resident evil and losh#i want to talk to him about how we won awards for the drama department i want to tell him im VP of drama club.#that im going to cosmetology school like he always knew i would.#i just......i miss him so much and i hate that i have to move on to the next stage in my life without him#sorry guys. i ended up venting and crying in the tags teehee. im an emotionally unstable guy who misses this boy dearly.
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HAUNTED BY YOUââFATHER MAYHEW
part two!!!!!!!!
â summary | father mayhew is being tormented by dreams of a worshiper at the church, who appears both angelic and temptingly sinful in his visions. as the dreams grow more intense, he begins to wonder if theyâre a sign from above or a test of his faith. when you confront him, father mayhew must choose between maintaining his distance or giving in to the passion thatâs been haunting him
â pairing | father charlie mayhew x fem!reader
â warnings | nsfw under the cut! mdni! wet dreams (strong start! i know!), description of self-pleasuring, oral (m!receiving), heavy degradation,hair-pulling, just overall rough sex, orgasm denial
â ev's notes | like everyone and their damn mom, i've fell under nicholas's damn curse and i just had to come back to tumblr for this very self-indulgent fic. this is just porn with a lot plot LMAOOO. BUTTTTT my requests are open if you wanna send anything in! (please do btw i'm obsessed w nicholas LMAO)
ok love u bye!!! pls send me requests!!!!!!
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Father Charlie had always believed in the purity of dreams.
They were, in his mind, the unfiltered whispers of Godâor at least, they had been. Lately, those whispers had been replaced by something far more sinful, and the dreams that used to bring him peace now left him gasping for air, tangled in sheets soaked with guilt and lust.
It started a few weeks ago, innocently enough.
Youâa devout presence in the church, never missing a Sunday massâhad always caught his eye, but only in the way a shepherd might glance over his flock. He admired the way they knelt at the altar, the reverence in your bowed head, the delicate movements as you lit a candle in prayer. He told himself it was only admiration. But then the dreams began.
At first, they were fleeting images: your hands, fingers brushing over rosary beads, your doe eyes glancing up at him, lingering just a moment too long. He could dismiss them as nothing more than his mind playing tricks on him, the remnants of a long day.
But the dreams grew more vivid, more demanding. He saw you standing in the chapel late at night, a halo of moonlight casting a soft glow over your features, and when you turned to him, your gaze held something more than devotion. Something in between desperation and lust, something that was pure filth.
Charlie would wake in the dead of night, his chest tight with guilt and desire. Heâd slip out of bed and kneel before the small wooden cross in his room, praying for guidance, praying for strength. But no matter how many Hail Marys he whispered into the darkness, the dreams persisted.
And now, they were getting worse.
Tonight, the dream came again, but this time, it was sharperâtoo real. You stood before him, just as you did every Sunday, but there was no congregation. Just the two of you, alone in the quiet sanctity of the church. He could hear your breathing, could feel the weight of your presence as they stepped closer, your fingers grazing over his. He swallowed hard, his throat tightening as they looked up at him with eyes that seemed to hold the weight of eternity.
"Father," you whispered, your voice soft but filled with something dangerous, something that made the blood in his veins run hot.
He wanted to look away, wanted to pull his hand back, but he couldnât. Instead, he stood frozen, his heart pounding in his chest as you moved closer, so close now that he could feel the warmth of your breath on his skin. You reached up, their fingers brushing lightly across his cheek, and he felt a shudder pass through himâhalf desire, half longing.
"Why do you run from this?" you asked, your voice a low murmur that echoed in the stillness of the church. "Why do you run from me?"
He swallowed thickly, words catching in his throat as he tried to speak. "This isnât⌠I canâtâŚ"
But before he could finish, you pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him with a touch so gentle it felt like a caress. "You donât have to speak," you whispered. "You already know the answer."
With that, you kissed himâsoft at first, almost testing, as if waiting for him to push you away.
But he didnât.
Instead, he felt himself melting into the kiss, his resolve crumbling as you deepened it, your hands sliding over his chest, pushing aside the fabric of his cassock. The feel of their touch was electric, every nerve in his body alive with sensation as they explored his skin, your fingers leaving trails of fire wherever they roamed.
"Please..." he heard himself whisper, though he wasnât sure if he was begging them to stop or to continue. His breath was ragged, his heart pounding in his chest as desire overwhelmed him
Your lips traveled down his neck, leaving a path of heat in their wake, and Charlie groaned despite himself, his hands moving of their own accord to grasp your hips, pulling them closer. You pressed against him, and he could feel the softness of your body against his, the intoxicating scent of your familiar perfume filling his senses.
He knew this was wrong. He knew he should stop, should pull away and regain control of himself, but he couldnât. His mind was clouded with lust, his body betraying him completely as your hands continued their exploration, your touch driving him to the brink of madness.
"Let go," you whispered, your breath hot against his skin as you slid a hand lower, your touch eliciting a sharp intake of breath from him. The pleasure was overwhelming, surging through him like a wave as you stroked him, you movements slow and deliberate, coaxing him closer and closer to the edge.
Charlieâs grip on the altar tightened as he felt himself losing control, his body trembling with the force of his desire. He wanted more, needed more, and you seemed all too willing to give it to him, your lips pressing against his once again as your hand moved faster, pushing him closer and closer to release.
When it came, it was like an explosion of heat and pleasure, washing over him in waves that left him gasping for breath. He clung to you, his body shuddering with the intensity of it all, his mind spinning in a haze of ecstasy and guilt.
And then, as quickly as it had begun, it was over.
Charlie woke with a start, gasping for breath, his body tangled in sweat-soaked sheets. His heart raced, pounding violently in his chest as the remnants of the dream clung to him, vivid and inescapable. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to shake the images from his mind, but they lingeredâsoft touches, whispered words, the sensation of heat curling through him in ways it shouldnât.
It had been more than a dream. It was more sinful, more explicit, and far too real. His skin still burned from where you had touched him, your hands roaming over his body with an intimacy that made his chest tighten with guilt. His throat was dry, aching, but not with thirstâno, with something far deeper and darker.
"God," he muttered, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. "Please..."
He shifted under the blankets, feeling the undeniable evidence of his arousalâa sickening reminder of what had transpired in the dream. Shame washed over him like a cold tide, dousing the warmth that had gripped him so fiercely only moments ago. He didnât dare move, his entire being consumed by regret and disgust.
He couldn't believe he came from the mere thought of you. It was sickeningâhe felt like a teenager all over again. How could he have let this happen? How could his mind, his very body, betray him like this?
Your face flickered in his mind againâthose eyes, filled with longing and desire, the way you had smiled at him, that wicked, knowing grin. It hadnât been innocent, not in the least. You had touched him in ways he had never been touched in a while, ways he wasnât supposed to experience again.
He threw back the covers, the cool air in the room hitting his overheated skin as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. His feet hit the floor with a soft thud, and for a moment, he simply sat there, head in his hands, struggling to regain some semblance of control.
A priest wasnât supposed to feel this way. He wasnât supposed to be consumed by desire, least of all for someone so... unattainable. Someone who had come to him for guidance, for spiritual comfort, not for whatever this had been.
He stood, shaking, the cold of the room biting into him. He needed to calm himself, to pray, to wash away the evidence of his sin.
But no matter how hard he tried, he couldnât forget the dream. Couldnât forget the way it had feltâthe warmth, the pleasure, the ache of it all.
Father Charlie whispered a desperate prayer under his breath as he padded to the bathroom. As the water ran cold over his skin, he prayed again for strengthâfor a release from this burden that had taken hold of him.
But deep down, the fear gnawed at him: what if this wasnât the last time? What if he wasn't strong enough to resist?
He shivered at the thought.
ââ
Father Charlie stood by the doorway of the church hall, his gaze sweeping over the room. The sounds of childrenâs laughter and the murmur of conversations filled the air as parents and volunteers mingled. It was a typical eventâone that shouldâve had his attention focused on the joyful chaos before him
But his focus was elsewhere.
You sat at a table on the far side of the room, your attention seemingly on the children around you, but there was an unmistakable shift in the air between the two of you. His eyes kept being drawn back to you, despite his efforts to look elsewhere, to find somethingâanythingâthat might distract him from the growing heat in his chest and the tightness in his pants.
Then, you slipped the bright red lollipop between your lips, the movement slow, deliberate, and utterly intoxicating. It was a seemingly innocent gesture, one that any onlooker might dismiss, but Charlie saw it for what it wasâa silent taunt, a temptation that you knew he couldnât tear his gaze from.
His throat tightened as he watched you, your eyes flicking up to meet his, a playful glint dancing behind them. You held his gaze as you swirled the candy in your mouth, the exaggerated motion sending a jolt of excitement and heat straight through him. It was subtle enough to avoid drawing attention from anyone else, but the intent behind it was clear.
You were tempting him. And he knew it.
Charlie clenched his jaw, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the back of a nearby chair. He felt torn between his dutyâhis responsibility to maintain control, to be the figure of moral guidance he was supposed to beâand the way his body reacted to you, the way desire simmered just beneath his skin.
You smirked around the lollipop, letting it slip slowly from your mouth before you spoke to the child beside you, your voice light and innocent. But your eyes remained locked on his for a beat longer, the unspoken tension hanging in the air.
Father Charlie turned away quickly, trying to suppress the fire burning through him. He felt as though he were in a battle with himselfâa war between the man he was and the desires that he struggled to keep buried. His mind raced with guilt, knowing that this tensionâthis attractionâwas something he should never indulge.
But when he glanced back at you, and saw the way your plump lips wrapped around the candy once more, his breath caught in his throat. The world around himâthe event, the children, the laughterâseemed to blur into the background as you continued to play this dangerous game.
Every gesture, every glance, felt like a carefully orchestrated tease, one that made it impossible for him to look away, even though he knew he should.
Charlieâs heart pounded in his chest, the temptation pulling at him stronger than it had ever been before. He couldnât let this go on, he told himself. He needed to leave, to step away before he lost control entirely.
But no matter how hard he tried to convince himself to walk away, the sight of you sitting there, sucking on that lollipop with a mischievous glint in your eye, held him captive.
He let out a sigh, feeling his pants tighten once more. He glanced down, there was a noticeable bulge poking out.
With a sharp inhale, he tore his gaze away from you and pushed himself toward the nearest exit, keeping his movements as natural as he could manage. His skin burned with shame as he walked, the feeling of his pants tightening only making his predicament worse. He kept his head low, praying no one would stop him on his way out.
Or worse, see the issue at hand.
The corridor leading to the church bathrooms was mercifully empty, the laughter and conversations fading behind him as he moved quickly toward the door marked Men. His steps were hurried, and by the time he reached the bathroom, his breath was ragged.
Charlie shoved the door open and stepped inside, locking it behind him. He leaned against the sink, gripping the edges tightly as he tried to collect himself. His reflection in the mirror showed a man torn between the roles he was meant to fulfill and the raw human desire threatening to break through.
The bulge in his pants hadnât lessened, and the sight of it brought another wave of heat crashing over him. He squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would block out the image of you, teasing and playful, with that lollipop in your mouth.
The temptation was too much, and he hated himself for it.
He couldn't think about you. He couldn't allow himself to dwell on the way your lips had moved, or the sly glint in your eyes, or the overwhelming desire that had burned in the pit of his stomach. He needed to focus. To rid himself of this unbearable need before it consumed him entirely.
With shaking hands, Charlie fumbled at his belt, a silent prayer escaping his lips, though he doubted any words of faith could cleanse the guilt twisting inside him now. He fought to keep his mind blank, but the image of you kept resurfacingâyour teasing smile, your suggestive glances, the way your mouth had played with that lollipop as if you knew exactly what it was doing to him.
His breath hitched as he unzipped his pants, his mind waging a losing battle against his body's demands. This wasnât what he wantedânot reallyâbut the heat, the tension, the pressure⌠it was all too much. He felt helpless, lost in a battle he had no hope of winning.
He cursed under his breath as his hand moved over the fabric, the friction both a release and a deepening source of guilt. He gritted his teeth, forcing himself to keep silent, though the shame only made his body more desperate for relief. It wasnât just physical; it was emotional, a chaotic mix of guilt, desire, and the thrill of crossing a line he had vowed never to approach.
His thoughts flickered back to the church hall, imagining you sitting there, your eyes still locked on his, your lips still playing that dangerous game. But instead of the lollipop, it was his cock instead. You were looking up at him with those doe eyes, the ones he could never get enough of.
This was wrongâso terribly wrongâbut in this moment, nothing else seemed to matter.
A strangled sigh escaped him as the tension inside built toward its inevitable conclusion. His movements became more frantic, his mind clouded with both desire and self-loathing. He fought to suppress the groan rising in his throat, his body betraying him as he sought the release he knew would come all too quickly.
But before he could cum, he heard a knock. His eyes snapped open, his body shaking. But his movements didn't falter.
"Taken!" He groaned out, rolling his eyes in annoyance.
"Father, it's me."
Charlie froze, his entire body going rigid at the sound of your voice. The very voice that had been the cause of his tormentâthe one that filled his thoughts during long, sleepless nights, and echoed in his mind during moments of prayer. Hearing it now, so close, made his stomach lurch with guilt and panic.
His hands were still trembling, his sticky arousal refusing to dissipate even as the cold wave of reality crashed down on him. He bit down on his lip, heart racing, his mind screaming at him to pull himself together. But the fact that you were standing just beyond the door, oblivious to the storm you'd stirred within him, made it impossible for him to think straight.
"Father?" your voice called again, this time with a soft, almost innocent lilt that twisted the knife deeper.
He swallowed hard, forcing his breathing to steady, though the heat in his chest hadnât faded. His hand hovered over his zipper, shaking with the shame of what he had been doing just moments before. His body still ached with unresolved tension, but he pushed it down, trying to ignore the unbearable need that still pulsed through him.
"Yes?" His voice cracked as he finally spoke, hoarse and raw. He cleared his throat, trying to sound composed. "I... Iâm a little busy at the moment."
There was a brief pause from the other side of the door, and he could almost imagine the look on your faceâthe innocent expression you always wore, one that belied the way you had been teasing him, testing him for weeks. You had to know what you were doing. There was no other explanation for it.
"Sorry, Father," you replied, your voice apologetic, but with that familiar hint of playfulness that made his pulse quicken. "I just... I wanted to talk to you. Is everything alright? You sounded a bit... off. You just ran off, and I was worried."
Worried? You knew damn well what you were doing.
His heart hammered in his chest. He wasnât sure how to respond, especially when he could still feel the tightness in his pants, the shameful evidence of his struggle with temptation. He couldnât let you see him like this. Not after what he had almost done. No, not almostâwhat he had done.
"Iâm fine," he replied, the words rushing out too quickly. "Justâjust give me a moment, please."
There was silence on the other side, and Father Charlie closed his eyes, cursing himself under his breath. He knew he needed to calm down, to suppress the lingering arousal that still throbbed through him, but it was nearly impossible with you standing just beyond the door, your voice echoing in his mind, a constant reminder of the desires he could no longer ignore.
"Okay, Father," you said after a long pause, your tone gentle, yet still laced with that underlying tease. "Iâll wait for you outside."
As soon as you spoke, he let out a breath he didnât realize he had been holding, his body slumping against the sink in a mixture of frustration and shame. He could still feel the tension coiled tightly in his core, but he had to ignore it nowâhad to push it down and find some semblance of control before he faced you.
Charlie adjusted his clothes quickly, forcing himself to focus on anything but the ache that still pulsed through him. He wiped the sweat from his brow, straightened his collar, and took a long, deep breath.
The door was still locked, but knowing you were just outside filled him with dread and anticipation in equal measure. He wasnât sure how much longer he could withstand the temptation you had placed in front of him, but for now, he had to pretend. He had to keep up the façade of control, even as the cracks in his resolve grew deeper by the day
With one final glance in the mirror, Father Charlie steeled himself and turned the lock, pulling the door open to face the very source of his downfall.
And there you were, standing just a few feet away, your eyes wide and innocentâthough he knew better than to believe it was all innocence. You were a temptation he could barely resist, and every interaction only pulled him further into the darkness he'd been desperately trying to avoid.
"Is everything alright, Father?" you asked, tilting your head slightly, that sweet, familiar smile on your lips. But your eyesâthose teasing eyesâheld a glimmer that set his heart racing once more.
"Y-yes," he stammered, his throat tight, doing everything in his power to keep his voice steady. "Everythingâs fine."
But as you looked up at him, your gaze lingering just a moment too long, Father Charlie knew this battle was far from over.
Your eyes glanced down at his pants, his bulge evident. Your eyebrows rose as you blinked up at him, the same teasing smile on your plump lips. "You don't look fine, Father."
The way you said his title almost made his knees buckle. He couldn't handle it, not anymore. "What do you think?" He snapped.
Your teasing smile widened, clearly pleased by the crack in Father Charlie's composure. His words, harsh and unsteady, only seemed to encourage you. You took a small step closer, the space between you shrinking as the tension in the air thickened, palpable and dangerous.
"What do I think?" you repeated, your voice soft and sweet, but laced with a knowing edge that sent another jolt through him. "I think youâve been struggling, Father. I can see it in your eyes⌠feel it in the way you look at me."
He clenched his jaw, fists balling at his sides. Every instinct screamed for him to shut this down, to end the conversation and walk away before he did something he could never take back. But the heat burning in his chest, the tightness in his pants, and the way you gazed up at him with those teasing, taunting eyes made it impossible for him to think clearly.
His breath hitched, his throat tightening as he tried to keep his voice level, to maintain the last threads of control he still had. "You... need to leave," he muttered through gritted teeth, though the command sounded more like a plea. He took a step back, trying to put distance between you, but his back hit the wall, trapping him in a corner.
You didnât follow him, but your eyes stayed locked on his, your lips parting ever so slightly as you spoke again. "Do you want me to leave, Father?" you asked, your voice dripping with temptation, your tone making it clear you knew the answer before he could even speak.
He opened his mouth to respond, to say yes, to do what he knew was right, but the words wouldnât come. His body betrayed him, still trembling with the aftermath of the temptation he had barely controlled just moments ago. The guilt twisted deeper in his chest, but with you standing there, so close, so dangerous, he couldnât bring himself to push you away.
You took another small step forward, your eyes flicking down once more to the bulge straining against his pants. "You donât look like you want me to go," you murmured, your voice low and intimate.
The way you said it, so confidently, so calmly, broke something inside him. His breathing quickened, the shame mixing with desire in a way that left him dizzy and unable to think straight. His hands itched to reach out, to grab you, to pull you closer, but he forced them to stay at his sides, his knuckles white from the effort of holding back.
"Fuck," he got out before he finally grabbed your wrist. "You know exactly what you're doing, don't you?"
You didn't respond, just stared back at him with a smirk. "What you meanâ"
"Shh, shut up. Just shut up," Father Charlie got out as his grip on your wrist tighten. He looked around the empty corridors and pulled you into the bathroom, practically pushing you into it. He slammed the door behind him, locking it.
The slam of the door echoed through the small bathroom, the sound sharp and final. Father Charlie stood there for a moment, breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling as he fought to keep a grip on himself. The small, dimly lit space felt suffocating, the walls closing in as the tension between you thickened, charged with unspoken desire.
You leaned back against the sink, your expression still playful, teasing, as if you held all the power in this twisted game. And maybe you did. You watched him, your smirk never fading, as his eyes darkened with lust, the lines between what was right and what he wanted blurring faster than he could stop them.
"Father," you whispered, your voice lilting, almost mocking as it dripped with the weight of temptation. "We really shouldn'tâ"
"I told you to shut up," he growled, cutting you off. His voice was rough, raw with the conflict tearing him apart. But his body betrayed him, his hands trembling as he reached out, fingers wrapping around your arm with a grip that was both desperate and unsteady.
For weeks, he had tried to deny itâto push down the thoughts, the fantasies, the overwhelming pull of desire you had stirred within him. But now, standing here with you, the air thick with temptation, he felt like a man on the edge of a cliff, teetering between control and the abyss.
"Do you think this is a game?" he asked, his voice low and dangerous, though you could hear the tremor beneath it. He stepped closer, towering over you, his body radiating heat. "Do you think I donât know what youâve been doing? The looks, the way you talk to me, the way you⌠tease me?"
You met his gaze, unflinching, your smile widening. "Maybe it is a game," you said softly, tilting your head, eyes dancing with mischief. "But youâre the one who's playing along."
His grip tightened, his breath hitching as your words sank in. He hated how true they were. Every time he had looked at you, every moment his mind had wandered to the things he shouldn't have been thinkingâhe had been playing into this. And now, he was standing on the edge of a line he couldnât afford to cross.
But he had already crossed it, hadn't he?
"Shut up," he whispered again, though this time his voice was weaker, the command laced with more desperation than authority. His free hand pressed against the wall beside you, his body leaning in closer, so close he could feel the heat radiating from your skin.
You tilted your chin up, eyes gleaming as you watched him struggle, as if you were daring him to let go of the last shreds of control he clung to. And maybe, just maybe, he wanted you to push him over the edge.
"Or what?" you whispered back, the challenge clear in your tone.
Father Charlieâs jaw clenched, his entire body tense as he wrestled with himself, his grip on you tightening. His breath was hot and ragged, his heart pounding in his chest as he stared down at you. For a moment, it seemed like he might pull back, that he might step away, regain the control that had been slipping through his fingers.
But then he kissed you.
It was sudden, rough, and filled with the weeks of pent-up desire he had been fighting so hard to contain. His lips crashed against yours, his hands pulling you closer, as if giving in to the temptation that had been haunting him was the only way to make the ache go away.
The kiss was hungry, desperate, and you could feel the conflict in every movementâhow he both wanted this and hated himself for wanting it.
You moaned into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer. His hands slid up and down your back before suddenly finding your hair, pulling it back from the kiss.
"You're a whore," he gritted out as he gripped your hair impossibly rougher. "A whore in disguise, aren't you? You feign innocence but you're the most sinful in this Church."
Father Charlie's words were harsh, laced with anger and lust, but the grip in your hair sent a different messageâdesire and desperation. His brown eyes, dark and conflicted, bore into yours as he pulled you even closer, his breath hot against your skin. His control was slipping, unraveling faster with every second, and he knew it.
You smiled up at him, the tension between you crackling like a live wire. "If I'm sinful, Father, then what does that make you?" you asked softly, your voice teasing, daring him to continue.
He clenched his jaw, his eyes narrowing at your words, a low growl escaping his throat as he yanked your head back, exposing your neck. "It makes me weak," he muttered, his lips ghosting over your skin. "Weak because of you. Because of the way you tempt me."
His mouth hovered just inches from your neck, his breath warm, his body pressed against yours, every movement charged with the weight of the forbidden. His hands, still tangled in your hair, trembled with a mixture of restraint and hunger.
"You're whatâs wrong with me," he whispered, his voice hoarse, as if he were trying to convince himself of the words as much as he was trying to convince you. "Youâve dragged me down to your level. Made me forget everything I stand for. Everything Iâm supposed to be."
But even as he spoke, his lips brushed your neck, leaving a trail of heated, fleeting kisses along your skin. His body moved on instinct, driven by the desire he could no longer deny.
Father Charlie's lips pressed harder against your neck, his breath ragged as his restraint dissolved. His words, filled with self-loathing, contradicted the urgency of his touch. Each kiss grew more desperate, more reckless, as if he were trying to bury the shame and guilt in the taste of your skin. His grip in your hair tightened, pulling you closer, and the tension between you ignited into something explosive, something neither of you could stop now.
His free hand roamed down your body, fingertips pressing into your waist, his touch both rough and reverent, like he was grappling with the weight of his own desire. Every brush of his hand, every kiss, was a betrayal of the man he had once been. But the way your body responded, the way you leaned into him, only fueled the fire burning inside him.
"God help me," he whispered against your collarbone, the words barely audible, as if he were speaking them to himself more than to you. But he didnât stop. He couldnât.
You let out a soft moan, your hands tangling in his hair, encouraging him to continue, to give in completely. His resolve crumbled further with every sound you made, every movement of your body against his. The line between right and wrong, between control and surrender, had long since vanished.
Charlie pulled back for a moment, his eyes wild, filled with a mix of anger, lust, and confusion. His chest heaved as he looked at you, torn between pushing you away and pulling you even closer.
"I hate you for this," he rasped, though the heat in his eyes betrayed the truth. "But I canât stop. I canât stop wanting you."
You smiled, a knowing, satisfied smile, as your hand slid down his chest. "Then donât stop," you whispered, your voice dripping with seduction, coaxing him deeper into the darkness.
That was all it took. With a frustrated growl, he crashed his lips against yours again, harder this time, as if punishing both of you for the sinful desire you had ignited. His hands roamed freely now, no longer held back by hesitation or fear. There was only the raw, uncontrollable need consuming him.
Whatever consequences lay ahead, whatever guilt or shame waited for him on the other side of this moment, Father Charlie couldnât bring himself to care. Not anymore.
Charlie yanked your hair back again, then stared into your eyes. Without warning, he pushed you to your knees roughly. "How about you do something useful for once, huh?" He muttered breathlessly.
You blinked back up at him, your hands finding their place on his hips. You moved slow and deliberate, which angered Charlie more. Charlieâs eyes darkened as he looked down at you, his grip on your hair tightening, pulling at your scalp just enough to make you gasp. The frustration in his gaze was palpableâfueled by your deliberate slowness, by the way you reveled in the power you had over him.
âYou think this is funny?â he growled, his breath ragged as he watched you, his fingers digging into your scalp. His frustration was obvious, but beneath that anger was a raw, unquenchable desire. He hated how much control you had over him, how easily you made him lose himself.
You smiled up at him, slow and teasing, your fingers trailing over his hips, letting him feel the barest touch of your hands. âMaybe it is,â you whispered, eyes gleaming with mischief, enjoying every second of his torment. "At least, to me it is."
You could feel the tension radiating from him, the barely contained hunger in his every movement. Slowly, teasingly, you ran your hands lower, grazing over the bulge straining against his pants, earning a sharp intake of breath from him.
Charlieâs hand tightened in your hair as a low growl escaped his throat. âYou think youâre so fucking clever,â he rasped, his voice low and dangerous, his grip on you firm as he stared down with a mix of lust and anger. âBut youâre going to regret this.â
Your smirk widened, and without breaking eye contact, you undid his belt, letting it fall to the floor with a soft clink. His breath hitched as you slowly unzipped his pants, the anticipation thick between you, hanging in the air like a loaded weapon.
âProve it,â you challenged, your voice a soft murmur as you looked up at him, daring him to follow through on his words.
For a moment, Charlie stood there, his chest heaving, torn between the overwhelming desire that had consumed him and the guilt gnawing at the edges of his mind. But the pull of temptation was too strongâtoo powerful to resist any longer.
With a grunt of frustration, he grabbed the back of your neck, forcing you forward as he freed himself. âI donât care what happens after this,â he growled, his voice barely above a whisper, thick with lust and anger. âRight now, youâre mine. And you're gonna do what I fucking tell you.â
You barely had time to respond before he pushed your mouth onto his cock, rough and demanding, his hand guiding you with a forceful grip. The suddenness of it made your breath catch, but you quickly adjusted, falling into a rhythm as he set the pace, his body trembling with the intensity of his need.
You wrapped your lips around him, moaning. His cock was dripping with pre-cum, and your saliva made it messierâbut neither of you cared. The bathroom was filled with the sounds of his ragged breathing, punctuated by the occasional low moan as you worked him with sloppy, measured motions. His hips thrust forward, pushing deeper, his control rapidly slipping away as he surrendered to the overwhelming pleasure.
Your mouth was so warm and inviting, he couldn't stop. This was what heaven felt like, he sworeâthere was nothing better than this feeling, the feeling of your sinful mouth.
Charlieâs hand tightened in your hair, pulling you closer, his fingers digging into your scalp as he lost himself in the moment, all thoughts of guilt or consequences forgotten. âFuck,â he muttered under his breath, his voice barely more than a growl as his head fell back, eyes fluttering shut. âYou⌠youâre such a fucking tease.â
He pushed you until you were gagging around his cock, much to his dismay. "Take it, whore. This is what you wanted, right? For me to use you?"
Your eyes were watering and your jaw felt like it was going to break, but his mean words egged you on. You hummed around him, a wicked smile curling at the edges of your lips as you kept gliding up and down his cock.
But just as he was on the edge, just as the tension in his body built to an unbearable peak, he suddenly yanked you off him, breathless and furious, eyes blazing as he stared down at you.
âGet up,â he commanded, his voice low and guttural, barely holding onto the last threads of control. âTurn around, whore.â
You barely had any time to react before he turned you around to face the mirror. He bent you over the sink as you let out a whimper, before his hands found your hair again and yanked it up.
"Look at you," he murmured as he forced you to look at yourself.
Your hair was a mess, your mascara running down your doe eyes and your sticky cheeks and chin. You caught your breath as you glanced back to meet his eyes through the mirror.
He bent you completely over the sink and landed a sharp slap on your behind. You let out a yelp, shutting your eyes at the stinging feeling. "Fuck,"
"What? Is it too much now, baby?" Charlie spoke, his voice dripping with mockery. His lips were curved into a smirk as he tutted. "This is what you wanted, right?"
He didn't give you time to respond before leading the tip of cock to your folds. You felt his heavy tip on your sloppy entrance, practically begging to get fucked. He hadn't even gotten the chance to touch you properly and you were already soaked.
He hummed at the warm feeling before pushing inside. He let out a huff of air, his head falling back in pure ecstasy. "Oh, yeah," was all he could get out. Your hands found the edge of the sink, gripping it tightly as you let out a desperate moan.
Charlie pushed himself all the way in, bottoming you out within a few quick seconds. He didn't even let you adjust to his size before he began slamming you into roughly, the edge of the sink burying into your stomach.
His thrusts were sharp and relentless, he wasn't letting up anytime soon. You felt like you were on a different planet, the feeling of his cock was dizzying as your eyes rolled back into your head.
"O-oh, fuck!" You cried out as your head fell forward.
Charlie gripped your hips even tighter as he groaned with each slam of his own hips, his head falling back. Your cunt tighten around his cock, and he felt your release coming. One of his hands reached up to grip your head roughly.
"Don't you dare cum, not yet," He got out breathlessly as you tried your best to nod. "Do not cum."
You squeezed, holding off your orgasm as you were told. You didn't know if you couldâbut you knew the consequences would be dire, Charlie wasn't playing around anymore.
A few harsh slams and he was cumming deep inside you, his moans echoing in the small bathroom. He rode out his high, his grip in your hair not easing one bit. "Fucking take it,"
You whimpered as you tried to hold off your orgasm, tears falling from your eyes as you gripped the sink. Without warning, he slipped out of you.
Your eyes opened and you turned around to face him. "Charlieâ"
He cut you off swiftly as he pulled his pants up. "You don't deserve it,"
"Deserve it?" You practically cried out. "I just let you fuck me and you're not gonna let me cum?"
Father Charlie just shrugged. "Whores don't get to cum."
âł make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
âł thank you for reading all the way through, as always âĄ
#charlie mayhew#grotesquerie#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez x reader#father charlie mayhew#charlie mayhew x reader#nicholas chavez#father charlie x reader#father charlie smut#smut#nicholas chavez smut#nicholas chavez imagine#nicholas chavez fanfic
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sincerely yours. (12)
âł gojou satoru/reader
when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after.Â
genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+Â
tags/warnings. depression, mentions of cheating, trauma, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationships, illnesses
notes. 11k wc. finally. i wrote this with only one eye open so please don't mind the inconsistencies, i'm trying my best to tie any loose ends before we reach the ending. if the writing feels rushed, itâs bcos iâm just ready to wrap up this series đ
series masterlist -> episode thirteen
You thought everything that had happened last night was just a dream.Â
Because you had gotten used to the constant disappointments and vicissitudes of your life, sharing such domestic bliss with the person you loved had started to feel far-fetched for you. It had become an unachievable fantasy, a colorful delusion created by your mind to conceal the actual darkness of pain that surrounded it.Â
But as you opened your eyes that morning, the familiar warmth of a sleeping Satoruâs embrace was the reality you never saw coming. The steady rise and fall of his chest, the comfort of his arms around you, it all felt surrealâlike a fragile dream teetering on the edge of shattering. You wondered if it would be okay to stay here for now. To forget about the rest of the damn world and remain in his arms, staring at his beautiful saintly face, listening to his slow and steady heartbeat.
When Satoru stirred from his sleep, you knew your daydream was over. But he was pulling you dangerously close with arms wrapped around your frame and his lips pressed against your forehead. He was only half-awake, it seemed. His long white lashes reminded you of Sachiroâs as you watched him mumble incoherent words from his sleep, something along the lines of, âIâm sorryâ and âAkemiâ.Â
That was your cue to pull yourself away from him. With guilt now coursing through your body, you sat up from bed and covered your naked body with the duvet. Akemi. You had completely abandoned the thought of Akemi last night, and now you were here in bed with âsupposedlyâ her man. As much as your heart was in bliss from last nightâs events, the dark and cold reality was that you slept with a man who wasnât yours. It was a principle you told yourself you would never cross, but everything concerning Satoru Gojou seemed to be bringing you to that.Â
âSatoru, hey.â Your voice almost came out as a plea as you shook his arm, your guilt eating at you with every minute that passed. âWake up.âÂ
His eyelashes fluttered as he struggled to open his eyes, blinded by the sunlight that gleamed through the window as he stretched his arms and looked at you. âY/N?â he softly whispered, a hand tenderly placed on your back as he scooted closer. âWhatâs wrong?âÂ
Slight disbelief blanketed your gaze. âYou think this isnât wrong?âÂ
Satoru let out a sigh of exasperation, pulling his head back, and covering his eyes with a hand as if last nightâs events played through his mind scene to scene. He was obviously caught in a mindwreck thinking about the girl he had just cheated on. âIt shouldnât be,â he mumbled, âBut it feels like it.â
âSo you do regret it,â you laughed at your own words, internally in pain.Â
âI didnât say that.â He finally pulled himself back up, sitting as he pulled you towards him. âY/N, if we really thought last night was wrong, we would have stopped after the first time.â He shook his head at the irony. âLook, itâs on me, alright? I put you in this situation.âÂ
âAnd I allowed it,â you argued, âI allowed it, Satoru. It makes me feel dirty. I feel like, like Iâm wrecking someone elseâs home. Itâs not me.âÂ
Satoru held his breath, a look of hesitation dawning on his face as he realized that this wasnât just a dream of his. It was pure and raw reality that he had made a mistake that he could never undo. While thinking it through, he rubbed his eyes and sat up, leaning against the headboard as he assessed the situation. Then, he looked at you, his expression softening as he spoke, âNo, not your fault. Itâs just complicated,â he insisted, âYou didnât do anything wrong. Iâm the one who owes âKemi an apology.âÂ
Each time you heard her nickname from him was a punch to your gut. And each silent cuss that left his lips was an arrow to your heart. So you put it on yourself to accept his reaction. âItâs okay. You can be honest and say last night was a mistake.â
âNo, no, no. I didnât say that,â he replied quickly, reaching out to take your hand.Â
But you already stood up from the bed, clutching the duvet around your body like a shield against the encroaching chill. Your throat felt tight, and tears threatened to spill, but you fought to keep them at bay. Satoruâs gaze followed you with an expression of helplessness, as if he was struggling to bridge the gap between his rights and wrongs.
As you turned to face him, a knot of frustration and heartache tangled within you. âSo, what now?â you asked, trying your hardest to keep your composure. âHow are we gonna fix this, Satoru? How?â
Before he could answer, the door to the cabin suddenly burst open, and Akemi stood in the doorway with her eyes wide with shock and fury. The confrontation followed as soon as she caught you in a compromising position with Satoru, and the words she uttered next were ones you least expected from her.Â
âYouâre a hypocrite! Youâve become the person you despised the most when you were married.âÂ
âYouâre no better than Sera! And thatâs why youâre miserable, and youâll forever be miserable! If this is your way of getting back at me..âÂ
âThen jokes on you, because Satoru will never be faithful to you. Heâll keep cheating on you, just like he did now with me! You two belong in that cycle!â
You felt like an outsider in your own heartbreak, the confrontation intensifying as you tried to process the bitter truth in silence. All you could do was stand there and cry. Even Satoruâs attempts to placate Akemi were futile as her anger only seemed to grow. The more her eyes danced back and forth between you and her lover, the more she wanted to destroy everything in her path.
Satoruâs face was indiscernible from where you stood. âAkemi, please, just listenââ
Akemi, however, was already turning on her heel and storming back into her cabin while eliciting loud, muffled sobs. Your chest tightened with sorrow and shame. Complete, utter shame of doing this to another woman. How could you even correct a situation like this? How could you pick yourself back up after you just trampled on another womanâs feelings because of your actions?
Satoru, like you, hesitated on his next move, his eyes meeting yours with a look of anguish. âI need to talk to her, Y/N. Iâll be back.â
Without waiting for your response, he already bolted after her, leaving you alone in a quiet, pathetic state. The door slammed behind him, the sound reverberating through the cabin like thunder in a heavy storm.
You didnât know what to do, didnât know how to face everyone, didnât have the guts to even talk to Shoko and Suguru who now both have to deal with such scandals. You were too ashamed of yourself, as if your femininity had been stripped off its rights after you slept with the man you swore you would never get back with.Â
âI didnât mean it,â you could only silently whisper your laments, pacing around your cabin while swallowing the weakness that tried to escape. âI hate this.âÂ
The minutes dragged on, and each second stretched into an eternity as you waited for Satoruâs return. For now, you sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, wondering what excuse he was telling Akemi, and what actions he would do to try and calm her down. Did he kiss her, perhaps? Did he cup her face and tell her that you were nothing but a mistake? What was taking him so long? Or were they doing things to try and erase the same deeds you two did last night?Â
The cacophony of voices and commotion from outside the cabin grew louder, and your curiosity led you to open your door, meeting the eyes of one of the hotel staff who sent you a look full of judgment.Â
âWhereâsâŚâ you hesitated if she was the right person to ask, âWhereâs Satoru? Would you know?âÂ
âOh, maâam. He already left the hotel half an hour ago⌠with Miss Akemi.âÂ
Her answer hit you hard like a truck on a highway. And your heart dropped as you realized who became The Fool in these deck of cards. Satoru had not only run off after Akemi, but had also left you behind without a word.Â
The room felt colder now, the once-intimate sanctuary you shared with your ex-husband now a prison of your own grief. Even the familiar warmth of the bed seemed like a distant memory as you approached it, your body trembling as you thought of how you were treated like a dirty rag, thrown away after being used over and over again.Â
With a soft, choked sob, you collapsed onto the bed, the duvet still a tangled mess from earlier. And your emotions, so tightly restrained, finally broke free. You pulled the blanket around you as if it could shield you from the crushing pain. The betrayal, the sense of being discarded for anotherâit all converged into a torrent of anguish. All you could do was cling to the duvet as if it were the only anchor in a stormy sea.Â
ââ
Returning home didnât make the situation any better.Â
Although you tried to tell yourself that you shouldnât be waiting on Satoru to contact you, you still found yourself checking your phone multiple times a day. Each second that passed without hearing from him was another stab to your heart. But it shouldnât feel like that. It shouldnât, not when Satoru clearly made his choice of choosing yet another woman over you.Â
Of course, you knew what you did was wrong. In everyoneâs eyes, sleeping with someone elseâs man was unforgivable. There was no excuse, no way to justify your actions. Even if some people might side with you, saying you owed no one loyalty, it didnât change how you felt about the whole situation. And that was because you remembered all too well the pain of being cheated on, and letting another woman endure the same heartbreak and betrayal was a weight on your conscience that you couldnât ignore.
Sighing, you turned to the left side of the bed and saw Sachiro sleeping peacefully, clutching his favorite starfish plushie in his tiny arms. The thought of losing your son was unbearable, especially when he was your only source of calm amid the chaos that surrounded you. Caring for him was your solace, and his innocent presence served as a band-aid for your wounded heart. The most heart-wrenching part of this was knowing you couldnât even repay him for the stability he brought you. Sachiro deserved a complete family to enrich his life, yet youâas his own biological motherâwere unable to give him that.Â
âSleep tight, Sachi.â You lightly stroked his white hair before planting a soft kiss on his cheek. âDonât let the bed bugs bite.â
The past few weeks had been a blur of emotions, work, and parentingâwith each day blending into the next like a tornado of dull colors. You still hadnât heard from Satoru, but the days of waiting and checking your phone for any notification from him did gradually stop. The only thing that didnât stop replaying in your head like a broken record was the cabin incident, the very night that drew all these overthinking in your mind and in your heart.Â
Returning to work did provide some distraction, but it didnât take away the sting. It also didnât help that your staff noticed the change in your demeanor, and how distracted you often were during your meetings and warehouse visits. Even Nobara was worried about how absentminded you had become, but you brushed off all their concerns with a forced smile. After all, staying at home would do you worse than being at work.Â
Now, you were back in your office, and the soft knock on the door cut you off from your trance. It was Yuki peeking through the small opening on your door, her usual professional demeanor softened by a concerned expression. âHey, Y/N. Do you have a minute?â she asked, stepping inside and closing the door behind her with a quiet click.Â
You nodded, trying to muster a smile. âSure, Yuki. Whatâs up?â
âI wanted to check in on you,â she began, taking a seat opposite your desk, âIf you need to extend your vacation, please, by all means, go ahead. Itâs off-season, anyway. Iâll take care of everything here while youâre focusing on yourself.â
That wasnât really a good idea. And you shouldnât be slacking off work when this very fashion house you establish used to be your passion, not your job. Yet here you were, losing all the inspiration to even run a business. âI donât know if I have the energy for anything else right now.â
âWell, if youâre too worried about leaving work,â Yuki continued, her tone shifting to a more business-like note, âthe progress weâve made with Hearte is looking really promising. The new collection is getting great feedback, and our upcoming showcase is shaping up well. Weâre on track for a strong quarter.â
âAll because of you, Yuki.â A spark of gratitude appeared on your face. âThanks for the update. Itâs good to know things are moving in the right direction.â
She then stood up and gave you a reassuring smile. âIâm here if you need anything, Y/N. But seriously, take some time for yourself. You deserve it.â
On that same evening, you came home to your fatherâs mansion, and the first thing that greeted you when you entered the foyer was Gen sitting by the living room. And needless to say, her expression was a mix of concern and frustration as if she had been waiting for you to return. You werenât really in the mood to have some back-and-forths with her, but you also didnât like how she dropped her phone on the table and crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing at you like she was a mother who could scold you like a child.
âIâm not even gonna say anything at this point, but did you really do it with him?â Genâs voice was low, but the disappointment was palpable. You could feel it from a few meters away.Â
âWhat are you talking about?â you bit back, your already-terrible mood swings shifting into an unhealthy direction.Â
Gen responded by pointing at her phone, gesturing for you to take a look at whateverâs on it. Reluctantly, you grabbed the device, and as you were scrolling through the screen, you stumbled upon a blind item circulating on social media. The words were vague but pointed, hinting at a scandalous encounter between two ex-spouses, both of whom were well-known figures. Great. Your heart stopped as you realized that the article was very much about you and Gojou.Â
The online comments were brutal, not like you werenât used to anonymous harassment anyway, but these ones were full of speculating and judging without knowing the full story. Everyone also seemed to be siding with âMs. Aâ instead of you as though the person behind the article was clearly trying to paint you as the villain. It was written for the purpose of destroying your reputation rather than any regular exposĂŠ, and whoever wrote it was definitely someone who disliked you.Â
Your shoulders slumped as you scrolled through hate comment after hate comment, a seemingly endless vitriol for someone they didnât even know, and avoided your sisterâs gaze knowing full well that seeing her expression would only make you feel worse.Â
âIs it true?â your sister asked like there was even an ounce of chance that it was simply a rumor. Unfortunately, it was anything but.Â
Sliding her phone back on the coffee table, you drew in a deep breath. âI canât undo it, Gen. It happened.âÂ
âSo, you did sleep with him? Am I hearing this right?â Gen sighed, rubbing her temples. âDo you have any idea what this could do to you? To Sachiro? People are ruthless, and now this blind item is all over the place and theyâre targeting you like a punching bag!â
Your mouth felt heavy, as if it was weighed down by an invisible burden, making it difficult to form words or speak. And before you could think of a response, Ian became your temporary savior as he walked in with a calm but serious mien. âIâve seen the post,â he said, holding up his phone. âItâs clearly defamatory, and we can take legal action. Iâll handle it.â
Even though Ian was a man of remarkable phlegm, you remained abashed, knowing that everyoneâs feasting at the juicy rumor that you slept with your ex-husband. Yet, the only thing you could do was to put on a front. To save face. To act like someone youâre not. âThank you, Ian. Iâd appreciate that.â
Anticipating another lecture from Gen about Satoru, you began retreating to your room with your footsteps bouncing desperately on the grand staircase. This conversation was done. You just werenât there to hear it anymore. However, as you climbed the stairs with a vacant mind, you could still hear your sister calling out to you.
âY/N!â she called, her voice now tinged with concern. âIâm not going to give you a hard time. We can sort this issue out. Maturely.â
âIâm good.â Sorry, Gen. It was the anxious-avoidant side of you speaking. You didnât want to discuss such a sensitive situation to anyone, even with your sister, because you werenât ready to face all the negativity it would put you through. You were already dealing with enough, and going through yet another emotional turmoil might actually put you to your deathbed at this point.Â
So, for now, isolating yourself from the world was the best choice.Â
And as soon as you entered your room, you saw Sachiroâs nanny tucking him into bed. All your worries and self-destructive thoughts vanished in an instant the moment you looked at your son. It was like the heavens gave you your personal angel, a cute little cherub who brought nothing but light and happiness to your life. He was your sunshine, your shooting star, your bundle of joy. Nothing in this world could erase the pessimist in you than little Sachiro.Â
âI got it from here.â You thanked the nanny and asked her to close the door before quickly joining your son in bed, wrapping him in a warm, comforting hugâmore for your own comfort than his.
âMama?â he asked, his voice unusually raspy, and his chest rising and falling heavily. âI mwiss you, mama!â
You pressed your lips onto his forehead. âI miss you too, my baby. How was daycare today?â
He seemed to struggle to speak too, but Sachiro still did his best to recount his day while he was trying to catch air in between his sentences. âTeacher ask Sachi to go home, mama. Sachi is tired.â
âBaby, are you okay? Are you sick?â Now, your motherly instincts kicked in immediately. You could tell something was wrong, so you reached for a thermometer from the bedside drawer to check his temperature, and listened to his breathing at the same time. âWhat happened to Sachi? Do you want Mommy to take you to the hospital?â
Sachiro shook his head and gave you a sleepy smile. âNo, mama. Sachi is just sweepy.â
When the thermometer beeped, you were relieved to see that his temperature was normal. âAre you having trouble breathing, my sweetheart?â You looked into his droopy eyes and gently placed your hand on his chest.Â
Once again, Sachiro shook his head. Maybe you were just overthinking. He often ran around the house or played in the bathtub before bed, which could explain why he seemed out of breath. It wasnât the first time it happened.Â
âOkay, Sachi. Go to sleep now. Close your eyes, baby.â
âNight night, mama.â
For now, you turned off the night lamp, and headed to the bathroom in silent and careful steps. It was quiet enough indeed, but in your head was an awful noise you couldnât escape. And stepping into the shower only increased the warfare in your mind, as it immediately brought images of Satoru and Akemi back in the cabin, the harsh comments from the article, and the lack of contact from your ex-husband which all overwhelmed you at once. By now, he would have already seen that article. Nanami or Miwa might have already alerted him about it. But the fact that he said nothing, the fact that he let the public scrutinize you, destroy you with such vile, hurtful words behind their screens brought you a kind of pain that you wouldnât wish upon anyone else.Â
Because if it was Akemi in that position, he would have defended her in a heartbeat.Â
So in your silence, under the cascading water of the shower, you let the tears flowâits warmth distinguishable compared to the cold droplets falling on you. If only you had successfully drowned yourself that night at the lake. If only Satoru didnât pull you back in, none of this would have happened.Â
That moment was deeply poignant to you, and you saw him in a new light you thought you would never see again because of the darkness of your past. Yet, with the events that followed your special moment, memories eventually turned into spite. Your sweet exchange twisted into something bitter. Looking back at that time when he kissed you at the lake now made you feel nauseous and hollow inside, with bile forming on your throat and threatening to be retched.Â
The most gut-wrenching part about this was the fact that there wasnât anyone left who could rescue you from this abyss of heartache anymore.Â
ââ
There had been a sense of detachment in your emotions in the following days that passed, almost as though they belonged to a stranger inhabiting your body. Toji, the only person who comforted you at times like these, was no longer by your side to fulfill the warmth you once desperately sought, and now you were alone to face this cruel, mind-numbing battle all by yourself. It was you against the world. You against the entire populace inhabiting this living hell. And with that many enemies against one, how could you win?Â
It was quite funny, actually, that your humor took a surprising turn when you thought of how Sera must have felt when it was revealed to the public that she was Satoruâs mistress. The irony didnât even stop at your thoughts alone, it manifested itself outside Hearteâs headquarters, wearing a pink puffer jacket and a white prairie skirt.Â
âSera?â you blurted out her name in wonder, nonplussed as you got out of the car to approach her.
âHey, Y/N.â She offered a casual smile while carrying an air of sophistication around her. That wasnât the only thing that changed about Sera. Her hair was also shorter than the last you saw her, her face now sporting a more natural makeup, and her outfit a more modest yet classy choice. It was no longer the Sera who tried hard to fit in amongst the upper echelon of society, but a Sera who seemed to be satisfied at her current standing in life.Â
What an awkward encounter. Was her presence your hypocritical reminder for sleeping with Satoru behind Akemiâs back?Â
âWhat are you doing here?â you asked.Â
And she answered with, âI read about what happened. You know, the thing on the internet.â She took a moment to pause, probably trying to choose the right words to say to her previous adversary. Because in a way, you two werenât exactly friends. And you were no longer rivals either. Satoru was the only common denominator here, and Sera proved her exact sentiments about him by saying, âI just wanted to let you know that I understand your side. Itâs a tough situation.â
You looked at her, searching for any hint of insincerity, but found none. âYou were once on my spot,â you pointed out and gauged whether or not she would take the bait. For all you know, she could be putting on an act. âIâm assuming youâre here to rub it in my face how much of a hypocrite I am.âÂ
âNo, thatâs not it.â Sera was vehemently denying any malice on her intentions, and was instead trying to show you the sympathy of a woman who was once caught in the same predicament. âLook, I know itâs weird that Iâm here out of all people. But the truth is, I just had to let you know that someoneâs on your side. Iâve met the girl, okay? That⌠whoever she is. I donât remember her name, and I hate having to pit two women against each other, but Iâm telling you itâs about time you cut Satoru off your life. Completely. She doesnât look like someone whoâd easily let go. Youâre just gonna suffer, Y/N.âÂ
Perhaps three years was too far back in your life and that tables could turn in a direction that you didnât expect, as you could recall fragments of memories from when your only dilemma was dealing with Satoru and Sera in your marriage. She used to be besotted with your ex-husband back then. But now, it wasnât until you heard the way she spoke about him that you realized she must be harboring a grudge deeper than you had imagined. After all, he did ruin her life in ways you couldnât imagine. And her advice, though unsolicited, made sense. Because you could understand where she was going with it. You could see the true intentions clearly conveyed by her face.
The only problem here was that you didnât have it in your heart to agree with her. You were too much of an empathic person to be taking sides, even if the supposed villain in this painting was the ex-husband who, time and time again, hurt you. Your heart stubbornly cared for Satoru deep down, and your wifely instinct of defending him no matter how poorly he acted had always been there. No one could hate Satoru more than you did, that was true, but you also werenât very accepting of hearing others describe him as this ruthless, cheating bastard.Â
That was the reason why talking to Gen had eventually exhausted you. Because no one knew the real Satoru Gojou behind his facade of an irresponsible and reckless husband.Â
âNow that youâre hereâŚâ The idea to redirect the conversation to another topic struck you, unwilling to engage in a conversation that pushed Satoru in a bad light. âWould you be interested in being a model for our upcoming campaign? Weâre launching a new collection, and I think youâd be perfect.â
Seraâs eyes were an amalgam of confusion and surprise. âUh, I mean⌠Iâd love to, but why so sudden?âÂ
âYou have the face for it.â You shrugged, but still sent a smile her way. âAre you working right now? If not, this could open doors for you to be discovered by modeling agencies. Iâm closely tied with them since I work in the fashion industry, so I can do a few calls if you want.âÂ
âHold on, Iâmââ Sera touched her head, laughing as if she were dreaming this conversation. âY/N, youâre doing too much here. I mean, Iâd obviously love that, but wouldnât it be awkward? People know me as your ex-husbandâs mistress, and if they recognize me in Hearte ads, Iâm sure as hell those fuck ass netizens wonât stop talking about it.â
She had a point, a very good point, but then again, your suggestion was only brought up because you had to change the topic. âWell, itâs just an offer to consider in the future.âÂ
âAnd I appreciate you always extending a hand to help me even if I did you wrong in the past,â she said, feelings of shame lacing her voice. âI havenât forgotten about what you did for my brother, thatâs why Iâm here. Iâm not your enemy anymore, Y/N.â
Just then, the roaring engine of a classic red Ferrari pulled up to the curb, interrupting the unexpected conversation you were having with your ex-husbandâs former mistress. The window rolled down to reveal a pink-haired man whom you recognized as Ryomen Sukuna, an up and coming tech mogul, that Toji had mentioned about many times before. His eyes were only on one woman alone, and it wasnât you. âReady to go, babe?â
Honestly, good for Sera. No wonder her aura had become different. They seemed to be in a stable committed relationship, something that you could only ever dream about. If karma was truly real, this was the perfect example for it.Â
In the back seat, you spotted a younger boy who looked exactly like Sukuna and, surprisingly, Megumi, the son of your ex-fiancĂŠ. Really? How many more people were you going to âcoincidentallyâ run into today?Â
âHello, miss!â the other boy called out cheerfully, while Megumi offered a polite nod. You replied with a wave, feeling a small sense of normalcy in their innocent presence.
âI gotta get going, Y/N,â excused Sera, gesturing a civil goodbye.Â
But as she moved to get into the car, your phone buzzed in your pocket. A single glance at the screen made your heart drop. It was a call from the hospital.
âHello?â you answered almost immediately, pressing the phone on your ears with a tight push.
âMs. Y/N, this is the hospital. Your son, Sachiro Gojou, is in the ICU. We need you to come as soon as possible.â
Your stomach contracted into a tight ball as you stood rigid with terror. Then and there, the world seemed to tilt on its axis. âWh-What do you mean heâs in the hospital?!â you managed to shout, swept by horripilation from the sudden news. âWhat happened to my son?! Whatâsâ!âÂ
Seraâs concerned gaze met yours as you desperately yelled into the phone, hyperventilating. Your trembling hand was threatening to drop the phone. âY/N, is everything okay?â
âMy son⌠I⌠heâŚ,â you stammered, your voice shaky with fear and urgency. Your muscles locked in a momentary paralysis, eyes wide with astonishment, and surprise rendering you immobile. The thought of Sachiro in a critical state was about to make you faint, with the last bits of images you saw that afternoon were of Sera and her boyfriend rushing to catch you from completely falling to the ground.Â
ââ
Megumi didnât know how to deliver the bad news.Â
He came home after Yuujiâs brother rushed you to the hospital, shocked by everything that happened in a span of a single day. His mind was aching from all the thinking he was doing; praying that little Sachiro will be fine, hoping that you would stay strong throughout, and lastly, wondering how he would break it to his dad that something terrible had happened.Â
His father wasnât exactly the greatest man to tread this Earth, especially not after the drunken words he had âmistakenlyâ uttered to you that night in Miami that resulted in your separation. Yes, Megumi knew every word and detail. His father told him everything just as a sober man would. Did you really think that the Toji Zenâin you knew would sputter that utter nonsense to you? That you had an empty soul. That he couldnât be with someone like you. That you would forever be a placeholder to Megumiâs mother. Bullshit. None of those were true. His father told him that the reason he had to say those words, as piercing and trenchant as they may be, was because it was the only way he could free you from being caged in a relationship your heart didnât genuinely want.Â
It was Tojiâs last resort to hurt you with his words, hoping that you would wake up from your false fantasy and finally have a reason to leave a relationship with a man that wasnât Satoru Gojou. If Megumiâs father wasnât at the top of the list of Forbesâ richest men in Japan, he would have felt a great deal of inferiority complex over a younger man like Gojou. Not because of his looks and his riches, but because he had you. No matter what Satoru did, no matter how many times he hurt you, he was and would always be that man you wanted to be with.Â
Sighing, Megumiâs first task upon coming home was to check on his fatherâs room, only to find the dark room void of its owner. When he made his way down the grand staircase, he met an ill-spirited Naoya who was ranting to Mai about Sera flaunting Sukuna in front of his face. Megumiâs sigh was then followed by another. The drama in this house was relentless. He felt like he was exhaling endlessly, like a malfunctioning appliance.Â
âWhereâs dad?â asked Megumi, directing her question to a more rational Maki.Â
The tall, green-haired girl gave him a knowing shrug. âYou already know,â she said, âDrowning himself in alcohol down at the bar.âÂ
As always.Â
Megumi jogged around the estate to eventually find his father at one of the wet bars near his home office. He was there, seated on a stool, his head drooping low with a glass of premium scotch in hand. How many glasses heâd had, Megumi could only hope the numbers weren't that high. But upon approaching his father, his presence was barely acknowledged as he sat on the stool next to him, suggesting that the grown man might be more inebriated than his son had expected.
âDad,â spoke the Zenâin heir, âDad, you good?âÂ
Toji lifted his head up, three sheets to the wind, as a smile crept up on his scarred lips. âSon.âÂ
âLet me take that.â Megumi grabbed a hold of the glass of scotch, sliding the strong liquor away from his father. âThereâs something I ought to tell you.âÂ
Toji stayed nonchalant, sitting upright and tapping his fingers on the counter. âWhatâs it about this time?â he asked. âIâve told you, I canât stop the elders from arranging your marriage unless youâre honest with me about someone you like. I know you have someone in mind, but youâre not saying who. Are you just shy?â
Megumi gave his father a look of exasperation. Heâs rambling, he thought, frustrated with his fatherâs inebriated chattering. âItâs not about that. Itâs about Y/N-san.â
The mention of your name was the only thing that made Toji's demeanor shift to one of genuine concern. âWhat happened?â
âSachiâs in a critical condition,â the younger Zenâin went straight to the point, âY/N-san went manic over it and fainted before we could get her to the hospital.â
Toji was quick to grab his coat and car keys, as if all the alcohol in his system had immediately evaporated. But before he could leave, Megumi caught his fatherâs arm and pulled him back.Â
âWhat?â said Toji, concern and urgency blanketing his gaze. âI need to be with her.âÂ
âDo you really need to?â Megumi countered. âDad, I know itâs not right for me to stop you in this crucial situation, but are you gonna do this every time sheâs in trouble? Do you plan to do this forever? Do you plan to keep drowning yourself in alcohol thinking about her? We care for her like family, thatâs true, but you and her arenât a thing anymore. Your responsibilities in taking care of her should stop, too. You, yourself, said itâd be best if she stopped being reliant on you. Now, do yourself a favor and stop trying to be this pathetic superhero.âÂ
The concern etching on Tojisâs face softened into a sense of realization, a sense of candidness that only someone as straightforward as his own son could evoke. Megumi had to, not because he didnât care for you anymore, but because he had to ensure he wouldnât lose his father over a relationship that had already ended. Toji was the only real family Megumi had left.Â
âStay, dad,â he pleaded, âPlease.â
Toji took a deep breath and released it in the same second. âOkay,â he softly said, ruffling his sonâs hair. âI wonât leave.âÂ
ââ
Why is it that you keep attracting things, places, and people that you disliked the most?Â
You hated hospitals, and you had spoken about it enough to make it clear how much you dreaded going to a place where your worst memories had taken root. Yet, the sterile environment seemed to beckon you, dragging you back with a new nightmare each time. It was beyond your worst fears that you would find yourself racing through the halls mere minutes after regaining consciousness, desperately trying to reach where your son was.
Please be okay. Please be okay.Â
Frantically, you scanned the corridors, searching for the ICU and hoping that what you had just heard was nothing more than a cruel illusion, that this was all just a nightmare. You werenât a deeply devout person, but you did send prayers to every saint you could think of, hoping that Sachiroâs current state wasnât in the median between life and death.Â
Because if you lost your son, then there was no point in living anymore. This life wouldnât be worth enduring.Â
âY/N!â
You werenât the first one to arrive outside the pediatric ICU, with Gen and your father already being there moments before you came. You were struggling to breathe by the time you reached them, feeling your heart race with a thunderous beat. âGen⌠Dad, what h-happened to him?â You couldnât stop the weakness in your voice. âTell me heâs fine, please. Please. My baby. If anything h-happens to him, Iâm g-gonna die, Gen! I c-canât h-have that!â
Gen quickly enveloped you in a tight embrace, trying to offer any form of comfort she could. âIâm so sorry, Y/N. Dad and I are just as shocked.â She held you closer, her voice trembling as she, too, was just as anxious as you. âSachi refused to eat and complained about having a hard time breathing. He was so pale and his lips were blue. We knew we had to rush him to the hospital immediately.â
âOh my God.â Your hand flew to your mouth, trying to stifle the uncontrollable cries that were escaping. The news of Sachiro developing cyanosis shattered your heart, and the crushing reality that you werenât there to take care of him tore you apart. âMy baby, no. No, no. H-Heââ
âY/N!âÂ
Out of breath and also visibly shaken was the father of your son, Satoru, who came running to your side the moment his eyes landed on you. Behind him was his mother, clutching a rosary in her hand as both of them were seemingly shell-shocked in the same magnitude as you and your family were. Everyone cared for Sachiroâs well-being, everyone prayed for his safety, and the thought of losing an angel like your son was a soul-crushing thought that sent you slipping into a chasm of suffering. Â
âWh-What happened to Sachi?â Satoru asked in desperation, his question raised to everyone in the vicinityâyou, your family, the nurses. But no one could give him a decent answer. âPlease, tell me my sonâs alright. Tell me.âÂ
You watched him walk in circles, raking his fingers through his hair as if he was seeking anything to hold onto. And you, feeling that magnet that pulled you closer to him, broke away from Genâs embrace to look at your sonâs father. âSatoruâŚâÂ
âY/N,â his voice cracked as he met your gaze, âOur son.â He stopped, ready to wrap you in a hugâa moment of solace you both desperately needed in this critical time. But just as he pulled you close in a fragile attempt to find comfort together, the door to the ICU swung open, abruptly ending the brief respite.
All of you immediately rushed over to the doctor, the sterile white walls and the distant hum of hospital machinery did nothing to calm the turmoil inside you.Â
âDoctor, howâs he?âÂ
âHowâs my grandson, doc?â
âDoc, my son, is he okay?âÂ
âIs he stable, doc?âÂ
âDoctor, howâs my son, please?â you asked, your body growing tense to the point of shaking.
The doctor took a deep breath, his expression serious amidst the fusillade of questions thrown at him. âWeâre currently running a series of tests on the patient. We suspect Sachiro may have congenital heart disease, specifically a ventricular septal defect with associated pulmonary hypertension.â
No, it canât be. Itâs not possible! The words hit you like a punch to the gut. You struggled to process the information, your vision blurring with tears and your heart drumming a rapid staccato inside. You didnât need to look at everyone to know that they all, for a moment, looked at you. âHeart disease? But⌠how? I didnât thinkââ
âCan you explain more, doc? Please.â Gojou was desperate, his bright blue eyes now dull and severely clouded with a brewing storm. It was as if he was keeping himself from crying.
The doctor continued gently, âVSD is a condition where thereâs a hole in the heartâs ventricular septum. It can lead to pulmonary hypertension, which means the blood pressure in the lungs is elevated. Itâs a serious condition, but weâre doing everything we can to assess the extent and provide the best treatment.â
âN-No, oh God. My baby.â You felt your knees go weak, and you sank down against the wall, with more tears cascading down your cheeks like waterfall. The weight of the diagnosis was crushing, but the hardest part was realizing that this was something you had unknowingly passed on to Sachiro. The heart disease was inherited from you and had now manifested in your beloved son.
Itâs my fault. Itâs my fault!Â
The doctor placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. âWeâll keep you updated as soon as we have more information. Please, try to stay calm, Y/N. Itâs not best for your heart to panic right now. Sachiro is in good hands.â
You were unable to speak through the sobs that wracked your body. The hospital corridor felt endless, and you couldnât shake the feeling of guilt and helplessness that consumed you. You could feel all eyes on you, judging, harboring hatred, carrying deep-rooted resentment. You were torn apart by the knowledge that the very thing you had feared most was now a reality for your son.
âItâs⌠Itâs my fault,â you sobbed, covering your face with your quivering hands, âThis is all my fault. I gave it to Sachiro, I⌠Iâm a terrible mother!âÂ
Gen knelt beside you, her hands gripping your shoulders with a firm yet gentle touch. âY/N, stop it. This is not your fault. You didnât choose this for Sachiro.â
Your father, who had been pacing anxiously nearby, joined in. âYour sisterâs right. Youâre blaming yourself for something beyond your control. Weâre all here for you. Weâll figure this out.â
But amidst your familial exchange, Satoru stood nearby, frozen and listless. His silence only added to the overwhelming distress. Was he also blaming you for what Sachiro was going through right now? Was he also angry at you for putting his son into this critical situation?Â
Suddenly, a familiar voice cut through the commotionâvoice that was equally harsh and spiteful. It was Satoruâs mother, boring her fiery eyes into your skull as she opened her mouth. âThatâs right! Youâre self-aware, arenât you?â she spat and stood rigidly, arms crossed defensively over her chest. âThis is all your fault. Youâre such an irresponsible mother! You canât even take care of my grandson properly, and now youâve passed your disease onto him!â
You looked up in shock, seeing Satoruâs mother standing there with a disdainful expression. The sting of her words felt like a knife twisting in your heart, because they were true. They were painful, yes, but they were true. And all you could do was lower yourself until you were sitting on your haunches, trying to make yourself as small as possible.Â
âExcuse me?!â Gen stood up, her eyes blazing with anger that came from the deepest pits of hell. âYouâre unbelievable, Auntie. How dare you speak to my sister like that! You have no right to blame her for this. I hope to God it was you in the ICU right now instead of Sachiro!â
âYouâŚ!âÂ
Satoruâs mother raised a hand to slap Gen, but your father stepped forward, his face a mix of disbelief and indignation. âThis is despicable. How can you stand here and say such things to someone whoâs already suffering? Werenât you friends with my wife once?â
Satoru, who had been standing still, suddenly moved with a menacing calm. His face was hard as stone, and his eyes narrowed in anger. What was scarier was him approaching his mother with a threatening stance. âAre you really this pathetic, mother?â Satoru questioned with a cold, cutting tone. âDo you get off on making Y/N suffer? Do you think youâve gotten away with slapping her behind my back? You donât get to blame Y/N for anything. Any fucking thing!â
His motherâs eyes widened in shock, but she tried to defend herself at the ruthless stance her son was carrying. All of you were stunned at the realization of how Satoru resembled his cruel father at that moment. âB-But Satoru, my sonââ
âShut up!â Satoru cut her off, his voice harsh and unforgiving, before he threw his cold knuckles against the hard surface of the concrete wall. âI donât want to see your face ever again! Donât consider yourself my mother any longer, you witch. Youâve lost that privilege.â
This took a wild turn, and hearing the brutality of Satoruâs words was like a thunderclap in the tense atmosphere. His motherâs face turned pale, her mouth opening and closing in shock as she struggled to respond.
âGet out of here,â Satoru commanded, his voice uncaring towards her. âLeave, and donât ever come back. Youâre nobody to me now.â
With that, Satoruâs mother turned and fled, stumbling down the corridor as if she was the victim in this situation. However, the tension in the air began to dissipate as soon as she left, leaving you, Satoru, Gen, and your father in a heavy silence. Only your sniffles could be heard.Â
Even Gen, who was often hostile around your ex-husband, had remained quiet and composed after she watched him take such drastic measures to keep his mother away.
Everyone was silent. Pure, unbothered silence until Satoruâs phone began to buzz loudly, cutting through the stillness of the hallway. For a moment, he closed his eyes, then he fished his phone out of his pocket where you caught a glimpse of the caller ID.Â
Akemi.Â
ââ
The ICU only allowed short visits and one person at a time, so there was no need for everyone to stay the night. You were the parent, you were the one responsible for your sonâs situation, so you insisted it was best for your dad and Gen to go home and get some rest. You didnât mind watching over your son for the whole night, because coming home without him was the last thing you would do right now.
My precious angel.
Sachiro lay in the hospital bed, his small chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. The doctors had managed to stabilize him for now, and the sight of his heart monitor showing a stable rhythm was a small comfort amidst the chaos.
Still, you sat by his bedside, mindful of your timed visit as your hands gently held his tiny ones, feeling the warmth of his small fingers. You glanced down at the medical report on your other hand, trying to make sense of the complex terms and figures.
The words blurred together as your tears fell silently onto the paper. âIâm sorry, baby.â He didnât deserve this. Heâs just a baby. âMommyâs very sorry.â
You tried to stay strong, putting on a brave face for your son, but inside, you were falling apart. It was impossible not to blame yourself over this, wishing you could do more than just be present around him. This was the comeuppance of your own actions after you focused on your own emotions for the past few weeks to the point of neglecting your sonâs wellbeing. If you had been more present in his life, if you had been more observant, you would have easily noticed the signs. Now, you allowed Satoru to find a flaw in your duty as a mother, and he could cite this very event as evidence to get full custody of him. That is, if he were to ever consider taking your son away from you.Â
But in the first place, he should be the last person to do that, because where exactly was he now?Â
Your thoughts kept drifting back to the earlier scene, where he excused to answer Akemiâs call, and later that night told you he had to leave and âcheck somethingâ urgently. He promised heâd be back before midnight, but where was he?Â
Resentment began to fester within you.
You had been very perceptive of Akemiâs feelings, apologetic in the way you supposedly betrayed her, but the fact that she was still scrambling for Satoruâs attention in the midst of your sonâs hospitalization was something you could never forgive her for.Â
And as for Sachiroâs father, how could he prioritize another woman when his own son was in such a critical state? The confusion of his actions was overwhelming. It felt like a cruel deja vu that, at a time when you needed him the most, he was choosing to be elsewhere. You could accept it if it was a choice between you and another woman, but between his son and her? His behavior was unacceptable, disgusting even, and it only served to deepen your grudge against him.
You clenched your fists, trying to push away the surge of anger that threatened to consume you after seeing that the disparity in his actions felt like both a betrayal and a slap to the face. Your poor son. You stared at Sachiroâs peaceful face and stroked his cheek. How could Satoru be so indifferent to his own flesh and blood?
The room was silent except for the soft beeping of the heart monitor and your quiet sobs. The situation was almost too much to bear, and your resentment towards Gojou grew heavier by the second. Each minute felt like a lifetime, and the emptiness left by his absence was a constant reminder that yet again he chose another woman over his own family.
Itâs okay. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. I wonât leave you, Sachi. For Sachiroâs sake, you needed to find the strength to carry on, to be the mother he needed in this moment of crisis and never again failing to be there for your only child.Â
At exactly 10:30 pm, the nurse came in and told you visiting hours were over. You complied.Â
At 11:00 pm, Ian paid you a quick visit and talked to the nurses, perhaps giving them reminders to look after you.Â
At 12:00 am, you were alone again. Seated at one of the benches outside the ICUâsleepless, starving, and nauseous.Â
At 2:00 am, you remained in your seat despite the sterile smell of antiseptic mingling with your own discomfort. The flickering fluorescent lights above did little to help you get some proper sleep. The cold air-conditioning alao made you shiver slightly, hugging your own body to try and give yourself some warmth.Â
At 4:00 am, you awakened from the noise of the movements beside you. Realizing you had fallen asleep, you looked up and saw Satoru taking a seat to your left. His coat was draped over his arm, and he offered it to you.
âAre you cold?â he asked, his voice softer than usual, but you could see the bags under his eyes suggesting the sleepless nights heâd had for the past few days. âYou can use my coat.â
You took the coat, but as you caught a whiff of it, a familiar scent of Akemiâs perfume lingered. Rose Prick by Tom Ford. It was a scent youâd come to recognize after your years of being her best friend, and it made your stomach turn slightly. Without any hesitation, you handed the coat back to him. âNo, thank you. Iâm fine,â you replied, avoiding his gaze. Looking into his eyes was the last thing you would do.Â
And you knew Satoru was sighing, but didnât press the issue. âThe nurse mentioned you havenât eaten today.â He pulled out a small bag of assorted fruits, placing it gently on the seat between you. You eyed the offerings, feeling a pang of hunger but also a strange aversion. âI bought some fruit. Is there anything you like?â
You took a deep breath and broke the silence with a hint of sarcasm. âYouâre really good at this, huh?â
âAt what?â was his immediate question, puzzled.
âHitting two birds with one stone.â
âY/NâŚâ
âStop trying to take care of me,â you interrupted, your tone sharper than intended. â I donât need it.â
âButââ
You swallowed the lump in your throat. âYou canât even be here for Sachi. You canât even choose your son. Heâs in a life and death situation and weâre still only receiving scraps of your attention.â It was the deep-seated grudge spilling out of you. âYouâre so good at abandoning people, huh? Even though thatâs what you hate the most. Youâre so good at disappearing without even a text or call to check on me and our son. After that night at the cabin, you justâŚâ you paused, realizing that you were opening too much of your heart to a man who didnât deserve it. âForget it. Just go home to Akemi. Live a happy life, build a family with her. Forget us. I donât care. Iâll take care of Sachiro myself. Iâve done it for three years!â
âY/N, Iâm not trying to hurt you. I justâŚâ Satoru fumbled for words, his somber blue eyes bearing the history of your shared heartbreak. It was as though the painful memories of your past were flooding his thoughts, seeking justification as to why he couldnât pick you again this time. âI had to be there for her. SheâsâŚâ
You turned away before he could see your expression, because your heart was splintering at the thought of Satoru Gojou shattering it once more. As he always did. There seemed to be no end to this relentless heartbreak, as if any hope of a happy ever after with the man you loved would only return a pain that was a hundred times worse. Perhaps, this was destinyâs way of telling you that you and him werenât meant to be. That any wishful thinking of being with Satoru again was only something that you could expect in another universe.
So, in your defense, you had to pull on a facade. A mask that you had to wear in the face of being the target of never-ending despair. âSatoru, I donât want to talk about it,â you said firmly, concealing the raw ache in your voice with a smile. âAnd I donât expect you to choose me every time. Itâs okay. Itâs happened before.â
âCanât you see Iâm hurting, too?â he asked, his voice breaking. Though you couldnât see his face, the tremor in his voice revealed his struggle to hold back tears.Â
You couldnât understand why he would be hurting with his decision. When faced with two crossroads, he always seemed to pick the path that led away from you. So instead of trying to comprehend his pain, you decided it was time to honor your own. For your sake. For Sachiroâs.Â
âLetâs just forget about that night,â you declared, wiping your eyes as you got up from your seat and prepared to walk away. âFrom this day forward, letâs pretend it never happened.â
ââ
Akemiâs apartment was dark when Satoru stepped inside.Â
And to be honest, the darkness was a relief. At least, she wouldnât be able to see the lassitude etched on his face, not just from juggling his time between his son and her, but from the constant ache of hurting the person he loved.
Miscommunication is a coupleâs greatest enemy, and the persistent disconnect between you two, coupled with the reluctance to clear things up, had worn Satoru down. He wanted to end thisâthe feeling of helplessness and the torment of seeing the woman he cared for caught in a labyrinth of despair.
The hospital visits to Sachiro alone had been a whirlwind of emotions and responsibilities, and this brief visit to Akemi felt like an unwelcome detour, but one he couldnât avoid. Satoru knew his heart wanted to stay in the hospital with you, to wait for any updates on his son, to hold your hand and care for you, yet here he was, dragging his feet across the carpeted floors to approach Akemi.Â
âHey.â She was sitting on the couch, looking frail but alert as if she had been desperately waiting on his arrival. She had recently started treatment for her stage 3 endometrial cancer, and Satoru could see the toll it was taking on her, physically and emotionally. He would be cruel to leave her hanging like this, to neglect her at her worst when she had been there by his side at his. Satoru had an unspoken accountability on her, because it wouldnât be fair for him to just abandon her after she poured all her heart and soul into helping Gojou get back onto his own feet. Â
âHey, âKemi,â he said, his tone soft but distant. âDid you take your meds today?â
Akemi looked up at him, her eyes tired and heavy. âI did. I took them just like the doctor said. Howâs Sachiro?â
Gojouâs expression tightened. âHeâs holding steady at the moment.â
A heavy silence settled between them before Akemi broke the tension. âIâm glad heâs stable,â she said, quietly. âAre you okay?â
He nodded once, his mind already drifting back to the hospital. âYeah. Listen, I need to head back soon. Nanami and Miwa will be alternating in looking after you from now on. Theyâll make sure youâre okay while Iâm dealing with Sachiro. I have to focus on my son.â
Akemiâs frail hand reached out to gently grip his arm, the other held her lower abdomen in pain. âSatoru, please donât go just yet. Canât you stay a little longer?â
Nowâs not the time to feel guilty. It was either her or Sachiro. Her or his son. Gojou decided to pull his arm away gently, his gaze distant. âSachiro needs me, Akemi. You know that.â
Akemiâs face fell, but she knew it would be ridiculous to argue over that. âNo, I understand. I get that. I want you to focus on Sachi, too. I just wishââ Before she could finish, her voice faltered, and she looked up at him with a hesitant gaze. âSatoru, do you regret that I took you back even if you cheated on me?â
The question caught him off guard, and Satoruâs blue eyes narrowed as he processed her words. He had been so focused on his responsibilities and the immediate crisis that he hadnât given much thought to their ârelationshipâ. All he knew was when he showed up at her doorstep back at the cabin, he was only going to try and end things with her. He was only going to clarify the longstanding feelings you and him poured out to each other that night, which was why he ended up sleeping with his ex-wife. But because Akemi suffered at the time, because her pelvic pain worsened to the point of an emergency, he had to hold back and just take care of her in the weeks that passed. He was caged in this situation like a prisoner who was found guilty for the crimes he had committed.
Just be honest, Satoru. Disregard everything else and just be honest. Satoru believed it was about time he stood his ground no matter the consequences. âYou canât take me back if weâre not together, âKemi,â he breathed out those words, reticent on hurting her with the truth. If she would lash out on him, throw a vase on his head, slam a book on his faceâhe wouldnât mind. He was ready to accept all the violence he deserved from being an asshole. âYou knew from the start that this, us, was only temporary. It was never supposed to be serious.âÂ
Her expressions turned doleful. âThen, in that case, did you at leastâŚâ Tears welled up in her eyes as she she paused, âDid you at least love me?â
âI just⌠I never saw it that way, Akemi.â Satoruâs honesty would destroy her, but he didnât want to keep on sending out false hopes. He had to be firm, and while he was grateful for everything she did for him, that doesnât mean he owed her his life and loyalty. In the first place, he warned her that he wasnât ready to be in a relationship. And God, he was far from ready to even settle down, yet Akemi constantly hinted at wanting to tie the knot with him. Again and again did she mention the thought of a wedding and a child and her own family.Â
Satoru wanted all those things too, but with another person in mind. He was only set on having those things with one woman.
Akemiâs face paled upon hearing his answer and the fact that he didnât even bother to explain himself. âI see. I guess I needed to hear that.â
Gojou looked at her with a mix of regret and sympathy. âIâm sorry. Iâm sorry for hurting you like this, I really do.â
âItâs fine. Donât worry about it.â
It definitely wasnât fine, but Satoru had to take her word for it as he got out from the couch and gave her a gentle pat on the head. âI have to go. Nanami will be here soon. Please make sure to follow the treatment plan and take care of yourself.â
Akemi nodded, though her gaze remained fixed on the floor, unable to meet his eyes. âAlright. Iâll see him when he gets here.â
As Gojou turned to leave, he felt a pang of guilt twisting deep in his gut but pushed it aside. He was a father first before anything else. Sachiro would always be his first and foremost priority amongst everything else.Â
ââ
After leaving Akemiâs place, Satoru was driving his car into the evening air beyond the speed limit. And his mind was racing together with him as he thought of you, your son, and the myriad of emotions he was struggling to manage. He couldnât wait to be home, not literally at his own place, but anywhere with you and his son was his definition of home.Â
It would be diabolical for him to run into your arms and yell, âIâm free! We can be together again!â No, that would be cruel and disgusting. He respected Akemi just as he respected you. It was himself that he couldnât respect, because he was the one responsible for the mess that he created. And adding Sachiroâs critical condition on top of the already festering wounds in your relationship? It truly was the manifestation of karma in his actions.Â
His footsteps bounced through the hospital corridors the moment he arrived, each impatient step was ready to see your face and tell you he would never leave you and Sachiro now. But as he neared the pediatric ICU, his eyes darted around, the sight of his ex-wife was nowhere to be found. And instinctively, his heart pounded in his chest, and a drum of panic seemed to warn him of a storm that was about to come. Something was off, and it scared him.Â
âNurse,â he called out, his voice edged with urgency as he approached their station. âWhereâs my wife? The boyâs mother?â
The nurse looked up, recognizing the infamous CEOâs face. âUh, Mr. Gojou, she was heading to the rooftop, I think.â
âWhat?!â he unintentionally yelled at her face, âWhy didnât you guys keep an eye on her?âÂ
âSir, calm down. Sheâs probably going to get some fresh air.â
A cold chill ran down his spine. You were definitely not there for that.Â
Without another word, he sprinted towards the stairs, taking them two at a time instead of waiting at an elevator together with a group of people. He had to get to you as soon and as fast as he could without another second to waste. Although the climb felt endless, his mind racing with fear and dread was the push he needed to finally reach you.Â
And upon bursting through the door to the rooftop, he was met with the soft whisper of the evening wind and the heart-stopping sight of you standing perilously close to the edge.
âY/N!â he called out, his voice breaking with desperation. âDonât do this. Please, step back.â
You stood motionless, eyes fixed on the distant horizon, the city lights blurring into a kaleidoscope of sorrow. âThe world hates me, Satoru,â you whispered, the mellow tone of your voice carried away by the wind. âIâm a burden to everyone, even my own child. I-I just⌠I want to end it all.â
âNo!â Satoruâs heart shattered at your words while he moved closer, his hands outstretched and careful not to startle or provoke you. He was dying to have you in his arms and keep you safe. âY/N, please. Come back. What about Sachi? What about me? We need you. Sachiro needs you. I need you.â
What exactly made you go here? How did thoughts of ending yourself suddenly come into fruition? Was there something you discovered that brought you to this ultimatum? Gojou was desperate, utterly desperate, to hear what was running through your mind so that he could at least ease the burden that you were carrying all by yourself. He was once in the position where he wanted to commit too, and he knew the temptation that came with permanently escaping the cruelty of the world in just a single action.Â
âY/N, please. Please, Iâm begging. Come to me,â he rattled on in a suffocating whisper, the pleading in his voice was heavy, âPlease. I love you. Only you.â Â
It was when you turned around that Gojouâs world collapsed, and the words you said after had shattered his entire universe.Â
They were still.Â
You.Â
And the wind.Â
âIâm pregnant,â you finally confessed, voice cracking as you looked at the faint tears that fell from Satoruâs eyes. âI donât wanna have this baby.âÂ
#series: sincerely yours#gojo satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojou satoru x you#jjk x reader#jjk x you#gojo angst#gojo x reader
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ᥣđŠ BRING YOUR LOVE, I'LL BRING MY SHAME
FEATURING: dazai osamu
SUMMARY: dazai knows he shouldn't be doing this. you haven't been sleeping well lately, and he could wait, but he has no self-controlânot when it comes to you. (wordcount: 1.5k; nsfw)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: i don't even know where this one came from i'll be real. the demons took over i suppose
GENERAL WARNINGS: fem!reader, somno, dazai lowkey degrades himself, thigh fucking, dazai doesn't shut up.
Dazai wakes up sweaty and uncomfortable.
His t-shirt is drenched and his sweatpants cling to his skin, body sticky all over. His breath is shuddered and hitched, catching over a moan before his hand flies to his mouth to smother it in surprise. Heart erratic in his chest, Dazaiâs eyes are wide as he stares up at the ceiling, trying to figure out whatâs wrong with him.
It doesnât take long for him to put it all togetherâeven with his mind fogged from sleep and the sudden horniness, Dazai can feel the way his cock is straining against his sweatpants, heavy and throbbing as if heâd just been on the verge of release when he was dragged out of sleep into the land of the waking.
Every time his eyes slide shut, he can catch glimpses of whatever his dream had been about. He canât recall the details of it, but he can recall the feeling of your body sliding on top of his, the slickness of skin-on-skin and the tightness of your cunt wrapped around his cock. His lips part in a silent moan, lashes fluttering as his head drops back against the pillow.
Fuck.
He tries to even out his heartbeat, but itâs hard when he can hardly focus because of the image of you constantly flashing through his mind. His cock aches for release, body trembling, and Dazai is at a loss.
This has never happened to him before.
Dazai has a notably low libido. He used to seek out sex frequently, not because he found pleasure in itâsometimes because he needed something from someone and it was the easiest way of getting it, but most of the time, it was just a quick way for him to escape from his mind for a bit, for him to feel something other than the emptiness in his hollow chest.
Until he met you, at least. You stumbled into his life one random Tuesday and completely altered his viewpoint on everything from the concept of love and humanity to his ever-wavering place on the thin line between life-and-death. Heâs experienced countless firsts with you: his first time being nervous about a date, his first time being in love, his first time feeling sick and anxious over a fight.
He supposes he shouldnât be surprised that heâs facing another first.
Dazai lets out a low groan as he rolls over onto his side, reaching out blindly over to where you should be sleeping next to him. He lets out a breath of relief when his fingers find purchase on your hip, tugging you closer to him until your body his flush against his, cock pressed against the back of your thigh.
âBaby, wake up,â Dazai breathes out, pouting as he nudges his noise into your hair, inhaling the familiar scent of you greedily. His breath is shaky as he rolls his hips, catching over a moan as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. âPlease.â
He knows heâs being selfish. Youâve been complaining incessantly about upcoming exams and how shitty youâve been sleeping because of preparation for them, and he should just ignore his hard-on and let you sleep or take care of it in the bathroom if he really needs to, but Dazai thinks he would rather die than fuck his fist after being spoiled so long with your pussy and mouth, and he definitely does not have the self-control to just ignore it.
He lets out a soft noise of complaint when you donât even stir, hazy gaze flickering up to your nightstand, sighing when he sees your bottle of sleeping pills not properly closed on your nightstand.
âYouâre not gonna be up for a while are you,â Dazai complains, voice edging on a whine as trails sloppy kisses across your neck, up to your jaw. He relishes in the way you let out a pleased, sleepy sigh when he nips at that spot you love behind your ear, body reacting to him even when drugged unconscious. âYouâre so pretty, baby. Look at what you do to me.â
You wonât mind, wonât you? Dazai moans shakily as his hand slips down beneath the waistband of his sweats, tugging them down just enough to free his cock. His eyes half-roll back when he closes his fist around the base of his cock, kisses becoming a bit more desperate and bruising as he gives himself a few quick pumps.
He knows you wonâtâin fact, the two of you have talked about this before. Given, it was him making lecherous comments about wanting you to use his body while heâs sleeping, but youâd given him a coy smile and answered with a prompt âonly if you do the same with mine.â Dazai naturally had agreed if only to get you to do it to him because he thought it would be sexy as hell, but he had no intentions of following through.
Yet, here he is.
âWant you so bad, baby,â Dazai breathes out, shifting forward to press his cock against your thighs, letting out a low groan as he rocks his hips forward and his cock slides between your plush thighs, tight enough and soft enough to have it twitching against you. âDonât wanna fuck you while youâre sleeping, Iâll miss out on all your pretty noises.â
Dazai whimpers against your skin, fucking your thighs slowly. He shifts on his side a bit, just enough for him to catch sight of your peaceful face as you sleep next to him, blissfully unaware of your perverted boyfriend using your body to get himself off next to you.
âIâm such a creep,â Dazai whines, rocking his hips a bit faster, eyes rolling back as his tip rubs up against your damp panties. âYou put up with so much of my shit, baby, Iâm sorry, I just canât get enough of you.â
One of his hands slide up your body, beneath the hem of your shirt to smooth over your warm skin. His breath is ragged as he palms your breast, thumb circling over your nipple, lips returning to your neck. He chokes over air when you shift in your sleep, letting out another soft moan, rubbing back against him, thighs squeezing a bit tighter around his cock.
âHow can I when youâre so pretty?â Dazai gasps, rutting his hips faster, dark hair matted to his forehead and sweat beading at his skin. âAnd all mine. Youâre so mine, baby, and Iâm all yours. Iâd do anything for you. Anything. Youâre-hah, ffuckâso perfect, Iâll never let you go. Never.â
Dazaiâs voice is ragged, ruined, the grip he has on your hips and breast firm and possessive. His lips slide messily up and down your neck, no longer able to hold his eyes open as he fucks your thighs faster, pushing himself closer and closer to the edge, moving with almost a primal type of urgency as he lets out muffled, wanton moans into your skin.
âIâmângh, shitâIâm so close, baby. Feel so good. Whatâre you doinâ to me, huh? Never-never felt like this before.â Dazaiâs rambles are almost unintelligible, words catching over shameless moans and pants. He licks up your neck, tugging at your earlobe, and Dazai is almost frustrated; his abdomen is tight, his body trembling with desire. He can feel himself on the edge, so close, but unable to push himself over. The noise that spills from his lips is pitched and pathetic; he can feel tears build in the corner of his eyes as he thrusts his hips faster, desperate for release. âI wish you were awake, I need you, baby.â
His grip on your body tightens, he sucks below your ear, teeth teasing your skin. His eyes slide shut, he drowns in the sloppy sound of his cock sliding between your thighs, the copious amounts of precum acting as ample lube as he does his best to chase release but he canât.
âYouâre driving me crazy, baby.â Dazaiâs words cut off into a sob as he presses his face into the crook of your neck. He rocks his hips faster, desperate for what seems like an unattainable release. "Ah, this is so embarrassing, you drive me crazy."
He gnaws his bottom lip raw in frustration, wants to slip your panties to the side, bury himself in your cunt. His fingers slide down your body, inching below the hem of your panties and-
Dazai should be fucking ashamed, he knows it deep in his heart, but he's so clouded with lust and pleasure that he can hardly even acknowledge that. Fucking your thighs while you're asleep when he knows you haven't been sleeping well and still wanting more?
ââsamu?â
At the sound of your voice, tired and sleepy, confusedâitâs all it takes to send him over the edge. He gasps out your name, body shuddering, cock twitching as he cum coats your panties and inner thighs.
His arms tighten around you, chest rising and falling rapidly as he rests his forehead on your shoulder blade, trying to catch his breath. He smiles when he feels your hand come to rest on top of his, fingers lacing with his own.
âYou didnât wait for me to wake up,â you pout, turning your head to the side. Dazai lifts his head to press his lips against yours, a slow and deep kiss that rattles Dazaiâs bonesâgod, heâs never loved someone like you before.
âForgive me?â Dazai hums softly, smiling against your lips.
âMake it up to me,â you counter, eyes glittering as you look at him.
Dazaiâs smile widens, flipping the two of you over so that heâs hovering above you. His lips ghost yours as he murmurs, âWith pleasure.â
#dazai x reader#dazai smut#dazai x you#bsd x reader#bsd smut#bsd x you#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs x you#bungo stray dogs smut
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mornings with suguru feel like a pipe dream.
thereâs something honeyed in the air, bleeding into the scent of freshly brewed espresso, fried eggs resting on the stove, newly bought flowers on the windowsill â apricot nectar heavy on your tongue, dripping down your lip in a sticky stream. his thumb reaches over to wipe it away before you can even try.
suguru is sitting right in front of you, looking like what dreams are made of. eyes a little bleary, mind still sinking into the reality of morning, hair put up into a messy bun; raven strands tickling his forehead and framing his eyes, warm and fond, a nice mocha brown. heâs wearing a white button-up, the scent of laundry detergent seeping into the fabric. heâs smiling, and youâre so in love you can barely breathe.
he always wakes up before you. always has breakfast prepared, or half-done, by the time you stumble into the kitchen on unsteady feet â you love clinging to his back while he cooks. but you love this even more.
outside the frail glass of your window, the world is subdued by the changing seasons. autumn is in full bloom, the sky enveloped by wet, molten clouds, a light layer of mist; on the ground are a row of golden trees. itâs a cozy, indoor kind of morning, the kind that makes your veins feel all sleepy, heart all tender, as if melted down by the gentle rain â the kind that has you sipping from your cup, rubbing your eyes, watching your fiancĂŠ from across the kitchen table.
thereâs nectar on your tongue, espresso behind your teeth, and you wish you could open your mouth and speak. but youâre too tired, still far too groggy â far too sentimental. you can scarcely breathe. you can only sit there, and silently think: i could never love anyone like you. could never even come close.
do you have any idea what iâd do for you?
youâre sure he doesnât. sure he prefers to see himself as your protector, not the other way around â that heâs most comfortable being a caretaker, rather than someone who gets taken care of. you know how he is. itâs in everything; the cup of coffee he made for you, the shirt he draped over you last night. his own, always, as if he thinks the fabric will bring you sweet dreams. itâs in the way he holds your hand when you cross the sidewalk, the way his thumb rubs over your knuckles when youâre anxious. itâs in the rain, gentle and comforting, watering your plant-like heart.
thereâs nothing you wouldnât do for him.
nothing. absolutely nothing.
iâd drink a million cups of coffee, one after the other â iâd run out in the rain and pluck the apricots from every tree. iâd listen to that song you like. iâd listen to it until my eardrums bleed, and still wouldnât stop.
nothing, nothing, nothing.
he turns his head, to gaze out the window, his bangs swaying gently as he does â and your gaze gulps down the lines of his jaw, the bridge of his nose, every flutter of his lashes. he parts his lips, and murmurs something about the weather. heâs smiling, a soft curve, his eyes just barely crinkled â
and you canât breathe.
youâre so lovely it kills me.
your chest aches with yearning. you want to reach across the table and touch him, but youâre still too immobilized by how beautiful he is, how intense this love has come to feel. how devastating it is, to have this kind of life, to know you can do nothing but savour every bit of it. you canât stop staring, drinking in his softened features, that content look in his amber-coloured eyes â the rasp under his velvety voice. your baby, your angel, your sun.Â
(you want him to shine forever.)
when you look down at the table, thereâs an open palm waiting for you. smooth skin, soft lines, gleaming under the dim glow of the kitchen lights.Â
you look up, and suguru smiles.
he doesnât speak until youâve lifted your hand, tangled your fingers together with his. it feels good, the skin to skin contact, the sight of your rings pressed up against one another. his thumb begins to rub gentle circles into the knots of your knuckles, just the same as always. soothing, rhythmic, a mantra youâve learned by heart.
âsomething on your mind?â he asks, softly.
(everything.)
ânothing,â you answer, a quiet lull of your tongue, averting your gaze with a heat to your ears. itâs too early for him to be so gorgeous, to aim his unbridled attention in your direction. âi just love youâŚâ
his lashes flutter, for a moment.
then his mind catches up to your words, and he laughs â breathy and sweet, the slightest gravelly residue. squeezing your palm in his own.
âi love you too,â he croons, lips curled upwards, and you swear you could never tire of hearing him say those words. âis someone still a little tired, hm?â
â⌠maybe.â
a low chuckle. he tugs at your hand, gently, bringing it his lips; theyâre warm against your skin, his hot breath seeping out, gliding across your knuckles, stopping right by your ring finger. his eyes gleam with mirth, like the golden leaves just outside your window, pressed against the glass. his voice comes out as a purr. âdo you need another cup, my love?â
his lips trails down, all the way to your wrist, catching onto your pulsepoint. you canât help but shiver.
âor should i wake you up just like this?â
heâs smiling, and something about it seems smug. he knows exactly how weak you are. and he must think heâs flustering you, acting so suave â but thatâs not quite it. when heâs tilting his head like that, he looks more like a puppy than anything, so cute you think you might just melt right through the floorboards.
through the sleepy haze of your mind, to the tips of your fingers â your brain retaliates.
you tug his hand back, bringing yours with it; all the way to your puckered lips. lazily smearing a kiss on the inside of his palm, just barely catching the hitch of his breath, the inhale his heartbeat deigns to swallow down. it makes you smile, against his skin.
(and the tips of his ears bloom with heat.)
everything i need is you. the words are silent, unspoken, only barely mouthed against his skin. i donât need the rain or the sun. just you, only you.Â
when you pull away, your intertwined fingers finding their way back to the tablecloth, suguru gives you another smile. almost painfully tender.
you canât help but feed into each other, like this. on sleepy mornings, when the words donât come as easy, so actions are all you have. that, and loving gazes. all you can think is that you want more autumn mornings; you donât want any of them to end before youâve finished sipping from your cup of espresso, finished watching him from across the table. not until youâve woken up enough to spill the words helplessly building up in the back of your throat, the butterflies stuffed in between your ribs.Â
until then, this morning mantra will have no choice but to continue. until then, youâll opt to stay silent.
until then, all you can do is stare.
(and all your mind can think, is nothing, nothing, could ever measure up to this. nothing in the world.)
#geto x reader#geto x you#geto x y/n#geto suguru x reader#geto fluff#suguru geto x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk fluff
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Right My Wrongs
terry richmond x black fem! reader
summary:Â You and Terry had a good co-parenting relationship until he started dating a woman named Olivia who disrupted that dynamic.
warning: ANGST, toxic behavior, foul language, heartbreak, mention of fwb, mention of unexpected pregnancy, complicated situation, co-parenting, six-year-old daughter, name calling &, etc.
note: I was a little nervous about posting this, but here we go. Terry is an asshole in this; I'm sorry, lol. Part 2 will be out tomorrow; please let me know what you think.
{ part two }
You woke up suddenly to the sound of loud, urgent banging on your front door.
You glanced down at your daughter, still peacefully sleeping beside you.
You recall her coming into your bedroom because she had a bad dream.
With a weary groan, you glanced at the clock: it was almost midnight, and another knock reverberated at the front door.
You hurriedly got up, wrapped your robe around yourself, and slipped on your slippers to dash downstairs to the door.
Before opening the door, you looked through the peephole and saw that it was Terry.
He looked very upset; you immediately swung the door open and greeted him with a comforting expression.
"Terry... hey. Is everything alright?" you asked with a furrowed brow, your eyes filled with concern.
He looked up from his position and took a moment to meet your gaze before coming inside.
"She kicked me out." Terry expressed with irritation in his tone.
Oh, that bitch...Olivia.
You didn't know what Terry saw in her. She constantly causes him pain and breaks his heart, leaving you to mend the fragments every single time.
You have longed to express your true feelings to Terry and reveal the love nestled within your heart.
However, you knew it might never happen because Terry never gave you the impression that he saw you that way.
You and Terry were just friends, but your friendship blossomed into something sexual, leading to a complicated entanglement.
One night of unprotected sex resulted in an unexpected pregnancy.
You told Terry the news immediately, and he promised to be there for you and the baby.
Six years later, you two are raising a sweet, beautiful little girl named Jasmine.
She was a great mix of both of you: she inherited your beautiful nose and almond-shaped eyes while having her father's smile and eye color.
You and Terry maintained a strong friendship and a healthy co-parenting relationship until now.
He wasn't the man you once knew; she was transforming him into someone unrecognizable.
It was alarming you more than you'd like.
"Fuck, man. I give her everything she wants, and she always ends up fucking me over. What the fuck did I do to deserve this bullshit" Terry uttered, taking deliberate steps as he advanced toward the inviting comfort of the living room.
You let out a deep sigh, the weight of the moment heavy on your shoulders, before gently closing the door behind you.
Slowly, you approached him on the couch, ready to offer your comforting presence.
"You did nothing wrong, Terry. She doesn't deserve you; you deserve so much better. Like, for real, T... when will you wake up and see that?" you asked, placing your hand on his shoulder.
"I know....I know....It's just..." he says, his gaze intense as he looks at you with those piercing eyes.
"You love her?" You asked with a frustrated sigh.
"I do. I wish I didn't. I wish I could hate her, but I can't," Terry confessed.
"I'm sorry, Terry, but this isn't love. Love shouldn't hurt and leave you heartbroken. You deserve someone who makes you happy, makes you feel loved, and allows you to be yourself. Does she do that for you?" You asked.
With a deep breath, he shook his head. "No, she doesn't. Maybe you're right. I'm done dealing with her bullshit." He then offered a slight smile in your direction.
"Thanks, baby girl. I'm grateful to have such a great friend like you to lean on. Thanks for dealing with me and bullshit," He says, pulling you into a comforting hug.
"Yup! Let me get you some blankets," you said, quickly getting up to go to the hallway closet.
"Mommy?" You heard the sweet, melodic sound of your daughter's voice echoing from the top of the stairs.
Jasmine descended the stairs, wearing her cute bonnet and rubbing her eyes sleepily.
She looks at you first before turning to Terry, a slight smile growing on her face.
"Daddy!" She rushed over to him and hugged him, which caused Terry to burst into laughter.
"Hey, princess," he whispers softly, leaning in to gently kiss her forehead.
"Hi...daddy! What are you doing here?" she asked curiously, laying her head on his chest.
"What? Aren't you happy to see me?" he asked, a playful glint in his eye as he lightly tickled her side, causing her to erupt into a fit of giggles.
"No," she said emphatically, shaking her head.
"I'm always genuinely happy to see you," she explained with a warm smile, her words clear and sincere.
She was six years old, and always so sweet and expressive when she spoke her thoughts.
"I know, princess, and I'm always happy to see you. Your mom is letting me stay here, right?"
"Really? Mommy, is Daddy really staying over?" She asked, turning her gaze toward you.
"Yeah, sweetie. Just for the night. Now come on, let-" Jasmine excitedly interrupted you.
"Yayyy! Come on...daddy." She tightly grasps his large hand with her delicate, tiny fingers and eagerly pulls him into your bedroom.
You were about to intervene but decided to let it go because you were too tired to make a fuss.
You entered the bedroom to find Jasmine already asleep, cuddled into Terry's chest while his arm caressed her.
"I'm sorry. I hope this is okay. I can leave and sleep on the couch," he said with a tired expression.
"No, we don't want to wake her again. It's fine. Just get some sleep," you said with a yawn, getting into bed and trying to get comfortable in the blankets.
It was morning, and you woke up to find Jasmine sleeping on your arm, but Terry was not there.
You heard your phone ding; look to see that exact text. You were beyond pissed off.
Terry: Good morning! I'm sorry I left you and Jazzy like that. Liv called me, and we talked about everything. We're good again.
You didn't even reply to his text; you were in such disbelief at how he was so pussy whipped over this girl.
You knew you shouldn't be surprised; it was nothing new. Maybe you thought your words would finally reach him, and he would wake up.
You were so wrong.
It's been a few weeks since then, and you were coming to his place to pick up Jasmine after her week with him.
You exited the car and walked to buzz yourself into his apartment building.
You arrived at the fourth floor and knocked on his door. It slowly swung open, and Terry stood on the other side.
His face contorted in irritation, but just as quickly, a sense of ease washed over him when he saw it was you. "Hey, you!"
"Hi," You said coldly, pushing your way into his apartment, catching him off guard.
"Uh...how are you?" Terry asked as he closed the front door, then proceeded to follow you into the inviting living room.
"Good! Where's jazzy?" You responded with a brief answer, glancing around the room in search of your daughter.
"She's taking a nap. You good?" Terry asked, gazing at you with a touch of worry.
"Yup," you replied with a forced smile, concealing your true feelings.
You mistook the sound for Jasmine, but it was actually Olivia, which made you angry.
Terry had previously agreed not to have Olivia over when your daughter stayed with him.
This was it, you were fucking done.
Olivia enthusiastically greets Terry with a sloppy kiss, leaving a glossy on his lips before shooting you an irritated glance.
"Terry, what the hell is she doing here?" With arms crossed and a furious glare, you demanded his answer.
"I'm his girlfriend; I have every right to be," She explains, giving you a little attitude.
"Trick, I'm not fucking talking to you. I'm talking to Terry, the father of my child. Why don't you go, and make some tea while the grown-ups talk, okay?" You said with an intimidating gaze.
"Whatever, Terry will set you straight," She replied, rolling her eyes before heading into the kitchen to make some tea.
Terry gazed at you with a hint of irritation etched on his face and then spoke the words.
"What the fuck was that? You didn't have to talk to her like that," He asked with a frown.
"Why did you have this girl here...around my child when we agreed not to do that."
"It just happened; it's not a big deal. Olivia wanted to meet her, and I know I should've told you. I apologize," Terry said with a shrug.
"I don't give a rat's fucking ass...If she wants to meet her, you come to me first with this. Now go behind my back." You said with a look of intense anger etched on your face.
"Damn, woman. I fucking apologized, can you let it go? This shit ain't that serious," Terry sighed with frustration.
"It is fucking serious, Terry. This bitch got you so pussy whipped; you have lost who you are, your morals, and respect," You yelled, catching him completely off guard.
"What did you call her say?"
"You heard me. You are with a narcissistic, egotistical, manipulative ass bitch who doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated. She's changed you to fit her fantasy, and you're too fucking stupid to see it."
"Look...I don't appreciate you coming in here and talking-"
"I'm not done talking. You never seem to listen to me. This thing you think is love between you and her is not Terry. The man I once knew wouldn't tolerate this disrespect," You said, frustrated, uncrossing your arms.
"Look....It's none of your fucking business. You're just my baby mama," Terry said, clenching his jaw.
"Fuck you! You sure did make it my fucking business when you kept running your black ass to me whenever she did something wrong, but you know what? You're right. I'm nothing more than just your baby mama."
You found yourself overwhelmed with emotion, tears streaming down your face as you struggled to continue speaking.
"So I'm done with this; I'm done with you. I'm done being the shoulder you cry on, I'm so fucking done being in love with you and knowing I can't have you. I've been wasting my fucking time dreaming about us being a real family. I don't know why I thought you would wake up and see what's right in front of you. I guess that's my own damn fault," you cried.
Terry's heart dropped at your words, and emotion quickly washed over him.
His eyes were outstretched as he uttered your name and approached you, but Olivia stopped him.
"Let her go," Olivia said, wrapping her arms around his waist. You shake your head, rushing to get your daughter from another room.
She was napping, you are glad she didn't hear the yelling coming from the living room.
As you hurriedly gathered Jasmine's belongings, you couldn't help but overhear Terry and Olivia's arguing.
You swiftly picked her up gently without wasting any time and left the room.
Terry sat on the couch, his face in his hands, while Olivia was nowhere to be found, but you didn't care.
His eyes met yours, filled with a deep sense of regret. "I'm sorry...baby girl. I fucked up...I made Olivia leave. Don't leave, Let's talk, please,"
"No...I'm done, Terry. I made up my mind...Our communication will be strictly only about Jasmine, nothing more. Now let me go." You said that in a calmer tone of voice.
He didn't even put up a fight, which hurt a little. You stepped out of the door, making your way down the hall.
You exited the apartment building and went to your car. After securing Jasmine in her car seat, you closed the car door.
You got into the car, started the engine, and drove away with tears in your eyes.
You need to do this for your own well-being.
You couldn't be consumed by stress related to him and the current situation.
It's time to shift your focus towards prioritizing what is most beneficial for you.
It's been a month since you disconnected from Terry and his relationship issues, and you felt a weight lifted off your shoulders.
You still allow him to spend time with his daughter every other week, even after what he said to you.
You were not going to be the type of baby mother to raise hell and prevent him from seeing his child.
Terry was waiting for you to arrive at your house. He knew he had fucked up pretty badly by hurting you and disrespecting you.
His best friend and the mother of his child, out of all people in the world.
You both struggled to communicate feelings, so he was confused and surprised when you revealed your love.
He wasn't sure if he felt the same, but he was determined to apologize and make things right with you.
You were driving home just after dropping Jasmine off at your parents.
You needed some time to yourself, but it seemed like that wasn't going to happen.
You roll your eyes when you see Terry sitting on your porch with a bouquet of flowers.
"What are you doing here, Terry?" You asked, walking towards him with a frown.
"I wanted to check on you, but you haven't answered my calls. I was a little worried. Where's Jazzy?" He inquired, rising from the porch steps."
"She's fine, I'm fine. She's at my parents' house, and you can go now," you explained shortly.
"Baby girl, please don't be like that. I fucked up, I know, and I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you. I broke up with Oliva...she's gone, out of the fucking picture. You were right; you were always right. I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry," He speaks with genuine sincerity.
You let out a deep sigh and raised your eyes to the sky, feeling a mix of emotions.
"I forgive you, Terry, but...I meant every word I said. I'm done. It's just too painful for me. I'll be cordial with you when Jasmine is around, but outside of that, I'm done."
"I will respect that. I just have to ask why you didn't say anything before," he said, curious.
"It doesn't matter anymore, Terry. All that matters is raising Jazzy," you said coldly.
Terry looks down at the ground, disappointed with himself with an understanding nod.
Before walking away, he handed you the bouquet of your favorite flowers and whispered, "I'm sorry," once more.
You took a deep breath as you walked to the front door. "It's for the best," you thought to yourself.
#rebel ridge#aaron pierre#terry richmond#terry richmond x black reader#black fem reader#black!fem!reader#terry richmond x reader#terry richmond x black!reader#terry richmond angst#terry richmond fic#aaron pierre x black reader
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God ever since reading A Gilded Cage I cant get the thought out of my head of a part 2 where Reader doesn't see Jason for a few days after the revelation. Like maybe he thinks he's being kind and giving us some time to process, maybe he's on his angst again, or maybe some outside factor has taken his attention so the only time he's able to visit is while we're asleep.
And the whole night of the reveal feels like a fever dream when we wake up but there's a blanket draped over us and a fuzzy little kitten purring up a storm on our chest (in my heart his name is Bean (short for Toebean)), so we're at least kind of sure it happened. But as the time passes with no sign of Jason our certainty begins to wane and until we finally get fed up and write on the notepad the first thing we've asked for since that night: "You."
Or something like that idek okay I've been over here clawing at my walls frothing at the mouth I never really even liked ak!Jason before reading your stuff and now I'm feral for him and its all your fault and I'm not even mad about it
A Glimmering Collar
AKA Part Two of this series. Ahh, nonnie, you literally cooked with this. I love when my fics inspire people enough to keep thinking on them! Seriously, ty for dropping these ideas in my inbox cause I had nothing going on in my brain for a part two initially. Hope you enjoy!
~2.6k words
You wake up to something tickling your nose. Your body feels heavy, your mind even more so. Nothing in you is ready to open your eyes, to face the fact that last night could all have been a dream. That he isn'tâ that was just a dream.
Something soft flicks your nose again, and you force your eyes open. You blink hard once. Then twice. It's a kitten. It's tiny, and it's sitting by your face. Every few seconds, its tail sways and brushes your nose.
Oh. You sit up slowly, trying not to frighten the small thing. It looks at you contently over its shoulder and meows. The kitten stretches as you stare at it, then plops itself directly on the blanket resting over your lap.
Huh. There's a blanket you definitely don't remember grabbing sprawled over your legs. You carefully reach down to pet the kitten's head. Your heart melts a little when it nuzzles your fingers and purrs.
You look around the room slowly. Nothing else looks different. The notepad is still in place, but the kitten and blanket all point to one thing. Last night was real. Jason is alive. Jason is the Arkham Knight.
You're trying to wrap your brain around that when the door flies open, nearly making you jump out of your skin.
"Good morning!!" A flurry of voice call from the doorway. Your eyes widen as three brightly dressed people strut their way into your apartment, "Are you ready for your shopping trip, hun?"
"Myâ excuse me?" You stumble out, tucking the kitten to your chest as you stand.
They giggle, and one of them steps forward, "Your shopping trip, sweetie! And spa day, of course. Oh, ha, we haven't even been introduced, have we? I'm Krystal with a K, she's Destini with an i and he's Robbi also with an i."
Robbi huffs and walks up to you to pet your kitten, "Why can't you ever introduce Destini second? She can be Destini also with an i, ya know."
The other girl walks up to you as well and picks affectionately at your clothes, "Because it's alphabetical that way, Robbi. Now you better go get dressed, we have brunch reservations and mimosa plans!"
"Iâ sorry? What?" You ask, eyes darting between the three of them. Whatever this is, you can't keep up. You've barely processed Jason kidnapped you, and now you're supposed to go get a massage and drinks?
"The boss wants you to go out," a flat voice cuts in. You're the only one that stiffens at the sight of two large men stepping through the door.
Krystal speaks up, "We're here to make sure you have a good time! And Mack and John are here to keep us safe!"
"Mack and John," You echo weakly.
"Your body guards, silly," Destini chirps, ushering you to your room. She plucks the kitten from your hands, "Now get dressed! Wear something nice!"
You stare at the door as she shuts it. What just happened? You hear them chattering happily in the kitchen, idly talking about pregaming your shopping trip.
Your whole mind is a mess, and you sluggishly get ready, thoughts whirling. You've barely talked to soul since you were kidnapped, and now you have five new names to remember, a kitten, and a day out.
You're not exactly sure if you should be unsettled or grateful at how quickly Jason worked to get you what you asked for. By the time you've opened your bedroom door, Krystal, Destini and Robbi are passing around a flask, and playfully trying to get your 'bodyguards' to drink it.
You wonder what they must think of all this. Who they think you are. You're struck with the realization that Jason must be paying them to entertain you today.
You don't get to linger on the thought before Robbi hooked his arm with yours, dragging you towards the door, "Let's gooo, the brunch place we're going to does the best pineapple mimosas. Or cherry, if that's your thing."
"Wait," Mackâ or John, you're not exactly sure which one is whichâ stops you, "Boss wants you to wear this."
The girls and Robbi coo in awe when Mack opens a box, revealing a glittery, jaw-dropping choker. You waver at the sight of it. It's not that it doesn't match what you're wearing. You'd dressed up like Destini suggested, but it feels like some kind of trap.
You reluctantly pick up the necklace, eyeing how it catches the light, "Is itâ are sure it's safe to wear this out?" Safety isn't really what you're concerned about at the moment.
You're more worried about the crushing weight that this means more than you understand.
John nods once, "There won't be any problems."
Krystal happily plucks the necklace from your fingers, and before you have time to argue, she drapes the necklace around your throat. "It's beautiful, hun. Just like you. Let's go get you something to eat," her voice is soft, measured, and full of so much understanding it makes you want to cry.
You don't know much they know, but when she hooks her arm with yours to guide you out the door, you have a feeling there's more awareness than their bubbly attitudes let on.
The day ends up being wonderful. Being around people, out under the sun (the sun Gotham does get), was rejuvenating. You had fun, joked, smiled, and for a day, it was almost like you didn't have a prison cell to go back to.
The food was delicious, the spa relaxing, and you didn't have to carry back a single bag. Krystal had flashed a black card at every payment, every place ever could want to shop at, reassuring you it's all been taken care of.
But the time you've collapsed on the couch, exhausted but content, the uneasy feelings from this morning are gone.
You settle on the cushions to wait for Jason. To thank him for listening or to yell at him for still keeping you here, you're not exactly sure yet.
But he doesn't come, you fall asleep in your expensive necklace and pretty clothes with one hand petting your kitten. He doesn't come the next day either, at least not while you're awake, but Krystal, Destini, and Robbi do.
Your friends, the people being paid to entertain you are nice, perfect even. They're exactly what you would have asked for.
Your kitten is perfect too, it cuddles with you at night and nuzzles under your chin after you're left alone, when the unease finds its way back to you.
It's been days since you've seen him. It's starting to feel like a lifetime. You know he comes back after you fall asleep, he moves things. You think it's his way of showing that he listened, that he came back because you asked.
The notepad, the one you haven't written on since that night, shifts closer to you on the glass table if you sleep on the couch.
The glimmering choker gets pulled out of the drawer every time you try to put it away. Your kitten has a growing collection of toys and things to climb on.
It's obvious he's visiting, so why won't he let you see him? Day five of dancing around each other breaks you. You want to see him, want to talk to him, and understand. You want Jason.
Your hand shakes a little, when you go to write on the notepad, and when you wake up the next morning, the paper is blank again.
You wait. You wait some more. All day you wait for him. No one else comes. It's strangely quiet, with just you and your kitten. You've just about given up, collapsed in your bed, when the glowing whites of his helmet catch your attention.
You sit up quickly and throw your legs off the bed as you stare into the doorway, "You came."
"Did you mean it," he asks, any emotion he's feeling hidden by the aggravating modulator.
"Mean what," You question, standing off the bed to walk closer to him, "Will you take the mask off?"
He doesn't move for a moment, just takes in the sight of you. The silence that drags almost makes you regret the question, but he carefully pulls off his helmet, "What you wrote. That you wanted me."
"Iâ yeah, Jason. I haven'tâ it's been days since I saw you," You only notice mid sentence that his hand is reaching for your face, it makes your voice waver. "You never answered any of my questions," You finish weakly.
His hand stills and he drops it, "Questions. That's what you wanted?"
You nod a little, searching his face for any hint of what he's feeling, but he gives nothing away.
He sighs softly, and looks away, adjusting his helmet under his arm. You think he might look disappointed, "I can't give you the answers you're looking for."
"Why not," You question softly, worried to push him away.
Jason turns his focus back to you, "I just need you to stay here. Please," he sighs out your name, and his hand twitches as if to touch you, "Don't fight me on this."
"That's not fair," You mumble, "Why am I here, Jason? You know I would have listened if you came to talk to me instead ofâ this."
Silence falls again, and he steps past you into your room. He sets his helmet on your dresser and picks up the choker resting on the wooden surface, "I wish you would wear this. I picked it out for you."
"Jason," You start, tracking his movements.
"I know," he cuts you off, "but I told you, you don't need to understand anything." You stiffen when he steps back towards you and guides you to turn around.
The air leaves your lungs as his gloves brush over your skin. He sets the necklace around your throat, and even after it rests heavy against your skin, his touch lingers.
"You just need to stay here. It's safe. I've given you everything you've asked for, and everything you haven't," Jason says softly, stepping out from behind you. His gaze lingers on your neck for a moment, and the stifling, unexplainable feeling sets back into your gut.
Your words stick in your throat. There's a sense of danger, one that doesn't make sense. Jason wouldn't hurt you. Not the Jason you know. But is this the Jason you know? The thought makes you want to tear the choker from your skin and throw it at him.
"It feels like a collar," You say quietly, and your breath hitches when his gaze snaps go yours, "I mean, it's pretty. Really. But, it feelsâ like it's more," You stumble out.
He nods slowly, and he doesn't stop himself from touching you this time. His fingers trace the choker, linger over your collarbones, brush along your pulse, "Maybe it is."
You blink at him, every thought flying from your brain, "What?"
He hums softly, hooking a finger under the shiny jewels to draw you closer, "Does that scare you? Knowing that you can't leave? Knowing that no matter how pretty these are, it's just another way to keep you?"
"You wouldn't hurt me," you say instead, it sounds like you believe it, but you're not sure if you're trying to convince yourself or him.
"I don't want to," He admits, fingers leaving your throat to trail up your jaw, "but I probably could."
"I don't believe that. I rememberâ" He tuts, tapping your cheek. Your heart drops when you realize he's mirroring where his own brand is.
"I'm not what you remember," he says firmly, before whispering your name, "I'm not that Jason. Not really."
"Then who are you," You ask, even though you don't want to know the answer. You want to pretend he's still something you know.
His eyes dart over your face, then back down to the necklace, "I'm still Jason. But I'm also the Arkham Knight."
"What does that mean," You push, reach up to grab his wrist, demanding his attention, demanding real answers.
"It means that you stay. It means that I give you what you want. Everything and anything except leaving," he says, voice lowering to something kinder, gentler, "it'll make sense eventually. You'll be happy here. Safe."
"Will that make you happy?" You ask, fingers tightening on his wrist. Half of you wants to pull him away, stop him from tracing patterns over your cheek, but the other part of you wants to press his hand closer.
Something flicks in his eyes at your words, "Yes."
"Will it keep you safe?" You murmur, eyes locked on his.
He doesn't answer, clenching and unclenching his jaw for a moment, "Safety is an option I don't have."
"It could be, if you wanted it," You say, dropping his wrist. It must be true. Even with all the secrets he's keeping, his evasive disappearing act, he could take off the armor. Leave behind the new symbol engraved over his chest.
He laughs a little and swipes his thumb under your eye, "I'm glad that you don't understand. It's good, that they didn't twist you into something unrecognizable."
"Understand?" You prompt, unsettled by his laughter.
"That they need to pay. All of them do," he smiles a little, it's a mockery of the one you remember. Jason traces the choker one last time before stepping back.
"You're leaving," You say, not a question, a statement of fact. He's leaving, without explaining anything again.
"I am," he affirms, moving to grab his helmet.
"I want you to stay," You breathe out and he freezes in place.
He exhales softly and faces you again, "You don't know what you're asking."
"I do. I want you to stay," You repeat, reaching out to push his helmet back towards the dresser.
"And then what?" He asks lowly, a warning, "What do you expect to happen?"
It makes you waver, "Iâ I don't know. But it's what I want."
It's another long moment of nothing before he answers, gesturing towards the bed, "Go to sleep."
"You'll stay?"
He nods at your question, unceremoniously dragging the chair from your desk to your bedside.
"Is that going to be comfortableâ" You begin, settling yourself in the bed.
"You're overthinking it," he mumbles, waving at you to lay down. You do, watching as your kitten jumps into his lap, curling up like this is something that happens all the time. (You have the feeling it is) "Have you named him," he asks quietly.
"The kitten? Mm, no. Wanted you to," You say softly, carefully not to unsettle either of them.
"I wouldn't be good at it," Jason protests, eyes flicking between you and the kitten.
"I don't mind," You murmur, "anything's better than 'kitten'."
He pauses, so quiet and still you think he won't answer, "Bean," he mumbles, reluctant as the newly appointed Bean cuddles into his armor.
You smile, "Bean's a good name."
He doesn't answer, seemingly engrossed with watching the kitten.
You take him in for another moment, memorizing his face before closing your eyes. It's not an accident that you leave your palm open and face up by the side of the bed.
There's no more pleasantries exchanged, no sweet goodnights or the gentle touches against your face you've grown used to. But just as you finally start to drift off, as darkness finally draws you to rest, a warm, rough hand weaves itself into yours and squeezes.
Part Three
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note: Hi! this is my third official post, crazy stuff. Thanks so much for all the support, I didn't think my trash was any good đ Btw, I hope you enjoy this too. English isn't my first language, so sorry if there's a mistake. đ
tags: smut, comfort, insecurities, Leon is so cute, Leon x fem! reader, doggy style, orgasms and more!
Leon loves you madly. He really does. So every time you ask that question, "Do you love me?" he answers honestly, just because he can't tear his heart out and give it to you.
This man is capable of lowering the moon if you ask him to, he would do anything for you. He is honest, he doesn't lie. He wakes you up with soft kisses, on his days off he hugs you as if you were the only thing that keeps him grounded. You are everything to him.
And it's not that you doubt him, but different situations in your past led you to be insecure, to a sour whirlpool forming inside you about it. About him. Even now, when he's balls-deep inside you.
"Leon, Leon-" You murmured between ragged gasps, feeling his chest pressing hard against your back holding you in place. Taking every thrust he gave you. "Do you love me-?" And that feeling inside you came again. You felt like crying. Maybe from the pleasure, or maybe from the overwhelming sensations.
For a moment you think he doesn't hear you because of his current state. Heavy breathing, eyes tightly closed, body sweaty and his mind blank every time he sinks down to touch that spongy spot inside you.
But he wouldn't miss a hair of yours.
"I love you, I do, dear.... More than anything." He affirmed again, because he would repeat it to you every time you want. And the question sounds unreal in his fucked up head, of course he loves you. You're the only person he can open up to, show that young man who died inside him in 1998. He even took the audacity to have hopes, dreams again. Because next to you nothing seemed impossible.
"I love you, I love you." He murmured in your ear along with the low moans he couldn't contain, not when your walls were sucking him in so good. And I'd be lying if I said not now he's the one who wants to cry. He'd kiss every part of your body, kiss you all over until he could make you forget everything. Just like he does when he's with you.
His hips try to keep his deep rhythm, while his arms search for a way to embrace you to keep him grounded. Your ass is smacked by his pelvis every time he plunges in, over and over again with ambition. The wet sound of your wet pussy is the complete opposite of the cute words coming from Leon's lips.
"You're the only one for me, you're everything to me...Oh, G-God-" Now he started to ramble, trying to get his whole cock inside you until he can fuck your brains out and make you forget.
"Fuck, I love you, baby-!" His voice was already shaking, but I didn't know if it was from the effort of pushing you or the effort not to cry over you like a fucking baby.
"C-Come on, say you love me too." His voice tried to sound demanding, but it sounded like a plea. A desperate plea to know that you loved him too, because he wanted to be loved. He needed it.
"I love you, Leon. I-I love you, I love you so much." You said obediently, your voice coming out choked from having your face buried in the sheets. Your hair was disheveled, little beads of sweat trickling down your back and trembling thighs trying to support your weight. And little tears began to fill the corners of your eyes.
Maybe he had already fucked your brains out.
And Leon's chest tightened, pushing his lips carelessly into your hot cheeks. He was always so sweet even when he was fucking you like you were a slut. His cock bullying your bruised pussy again and again, because he couldn't catch a break. You were the air he needed to feel alive.
You made him feel alive.
As alive as he was now, as his hips began to quiver and his thrusts became sloppy, feeling his cock contracting tightly inside your walls. He could lose his mind right now for you.
His fingers moved down to play with your painfully throbbing clit, you let out a high pitched moan and your walls tightened feeling the familiar euphoria explode inside you, your orgasm coming in a sloppy way. Your body immediately relaxed into the sheets, trying to recover, but Leon wouldn't slow down, not when he was so close too.
He released your clit to run a sticky hand up to one of your tits, kneading it as if it were his own anti-stress toy. He carelessly kissed your wet cheeks and his hips pushed all the way in, releasing all his seed inside you. His cock contracted and discounted with spasms, giving you all of him.
"I love you." He whispered weakly, hugging you and trying not to fall on top of you. His heart beating fast in his chest, beating for you.
Because Leon Scott Kennedy loves you more than anyone. And he would devote every day of the rest of his life to prove it to you, if you let him.
were there too many "I love you"s? haha, sorry! But I can't help but think that Leon really needs a lot of love.
Let me know if u liked this, thanks!! đđ
bye, bye (đ)
#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#re4 leon#resident evil#leon kennedy x you#leon resident evil#leon kennedy smut
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Can you write some Dean Winchester head canons, preferably smutty ones if youâre up to it âşď¸
for how often i think about being absolutely annihilated by this man, this took entirely too long to write. my apologies.
anywho... these are all actually factual because i say so!
p.s i apologize for this being so short :/
18+ mdni below the cut
- i stand by the fact that if you don't go on a hunt with dean, this man is sending dick pics or constantly asking you for nudes. usually, you send them just because it's fun, but sometimes you like to tease dean about it.
"but sweetheart, there's no telling how long this case is gonna take," he'll whine over the phone when sam leaves the room for a few hours to go interview a witness or something.
"dean, it's been less than twenty-four hours. i think you'll survive."
"what if i die from blue balls?"
"goodbye, dean."
"wait-" click. dean pouts when you end the call. it doesn't last long though because his phone chimes a few minutes later with a photo from you, followed by a text. "don't die on me."
he one thousand percent sends you a picture a few minutes later of his cum covered hand and cock.
ââââ
-maybe i'm projecting but i think dean gets into the habit of waking you up in the middle of the night because he wakes up horny, like he has a wet dream about you, and bless his heart, he tries so hard to not wake you up. so he starts listing monsters in his head, and analyzes the lyrics to his favorite song. man even tries counting sheep just to distract himself.
but it's no use. so instead, dean starts rubbing your arm softly, cooing your name in an effort to wake you up. you might stir a little, just to get closer to him, but dean hisses when you toss your leg over his waist, brushing against his dick.
he's gripping your thigh tight and then he's biting down lightly on your shoulder, pulling you from your sleep. he almost feels bad for waking you up when you pout at him, but you shift against his cock again, making him groan as all his empathy is flying out the window.
"what's wrong, dean?" you're asking innocently while sitting up, still not having noticed his situation.
"fuck, sweetheart," he grunts in your ear. you look so confused but so pretty as dean stares up at you. before you can breathe he's shoving his lips onto yours and pulling you to sit on his lap. you moan when you feel his cock rubbing against your clothed pussy.
"fuck, dean, again?" you question, choking on a moan. it's the third time this week that he's woken you up like this.
"it's a wasted dream if it's not about me being buried deep inside you," he smirks proudly.
ââââ
- dean finds out that you like listening to audio porn (in badjhur we trust) so he records some for you. finds out what your favorite tags are somehow and incorporates those into it. (the tongue clicks đŤŁ)
- dean is so used to slapping your ass at home that he will do it constantly in public. he doesnât even smirk about it like he does at home. just stares at you with wide im sorry eyes while you glare at him with that so help me god look.
- dean is a munch. will spend all day buried between your thighs just because he can. youâre begging him to stop. whining bc itâs too much and heâs just all heavy breathing as he stares up at you. sweetheart please, i missed you. heâll give the same excuse every time, even though heâs only been gone for maybe an hour to do a beer run.
- dean is soooo into face sitting. heâs definitely the type that will force you to actually sit because he does take personal offense if you hover.
- he's so into free use. you can't tell me different. getting to use and play with his sweetheart whenever he wants? say less.
- also he loves to cum inside you and make you cockwarm him after so none of it leaks out
-oh my god. he burns you a cd called "sexy time with my sweetheart." and now he refuses to listen to any of the songs on it outside of the bedroom because he's conditioned to get hard when he hears them.
#dean winchester#supernatural#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester smut#dean winchester headcanons#dean winchester fanfic#dean winchester x reader smut#spn#supernatural smut
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Lucifer in love with an artist reader
ăťâĽ Thereâs only one good way to start the day⌠pancakes and ice cream.
| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
warning: mild swearing
You were awoken by something shifting against your chest. You stirred, adjusting slightly as you lay on your side.Â
You let the covers slide around you, the cool touch of the pillow beneath your face made you smile sleepily. Thatâs right, you were in your bed snuggled warmly beneath your sheets. Which is not where you remembered falling asleep last night.Â
Does that mean everything that happened yesterday was just a really weird dream?Â
If it was, it was the most vivid dream youâve ever had. And, it seemed a little too crazy to be real. Being thrown off a balcony and being seconds away from shooting a man, all in the same night, was not a usual day for you.Â
Your brain was still foggy with sleep, and all you wanted to do was burrow your face farther into the pillow and drift off. Except, that pressure on your chest was making it hard to.
âKeeKee.. please, not right now..â You mumbled into the fabric, your voice laced with drowsiness. There was no response from the feline, but the form shifted slightly besides you, as if to nuzzle closer to you.Â
Sometimes youâd find her sleeping beside you, but that was pretty rare. Even so, you werenât going to let her ruin your beauty sleep. With gentle movements, you slowly slid your arm forward, and your fingers brushed against soft hair.
Your palms hit a firm surface beneath the silky strands. Did KeeKee always have this long of fur? Did she gain weight too? You only ignored your suspicions, and slowly pushed her off your chest, farther across the bed. Sighing happily, you pulled the covers closer to you, embracing its warmth.Â
You felt something stir beside you, and the warm figure snuggled back into your chest. You groaned softly, you were too tired to take this attitude from the cat.
Lifting your arm again, your fingers quickly reached up and grasped the warm silhouette. This time, however, you let your hand travel down the form. Until you halted suddenly, your fingers grazing against something smooth and hairless. You didnât remember KeeKee having any bald spots.
Slowly, you felt farther along. You could feel curves in the surface, cracks even.Â
What in the worl-
âIs this how you plan to wake me every morning?â a voice grumbled sleepily through your fingers.Â
Wait a second. There was a person in your bed?!
Your eyes shot open, the curtains thankfully covering the morning light from blinding you as you jumped out of the covers. Instinctively, your leg shot forward, kicking the stranger right in the side. He was sent tumbling off the bed with an audible âoomph,â and a heavy thump reverberated around the room. Followed by silence.Â
You kneeled on top of the bed, heart pounding as your nerves settled. You blinked, you had recognized that voice. Had that been Lucifer?!Â
You hurriedly crawled across the bed, your head peeking from off the side of it as you peered below you. Laying face down, was the familiar naked back of the fallen angel. His blonde hair messily spread across the wooden floor as he lay there motionless.
âOh my gosh, I am so sorry!! Are you okay?!â You yelled down to him. He stirred, his head nodding slowly under the hair.Â
âYou know, not too bad actually. Believe it or not, iâve taken harder falls.â He mumbled against the wood.Â
Lucifer shifted, rolling onto his back. He looked up at you, before blowing a few strands of hair out of his eyes. He looked totally fine, if not tired from the sudden awakening. A few rays of the morning light beamed through the window, casting some of his features in a red glow as he watched you. God, he was gorgeous.Â
âI donât remember falling asleep in my bed, what happened?â You asked him, slowly sitting up from your position. He mirrored you, lifting his torso from the ground.Â
âYou didnât expect us to sleep in a chair all night, did you? Iâd be cracking my back for days if that was the case. You look so peaceful when you sleep, so I couldnât bother to wake you. But yes, I moved us to the bed.â
âSo yesterday was real..â You whispered,Â
âUh, yeah. I killed a bunch of scumbags and saved you from becoming a splat on the pavement. Yesterday was definitely real.âÂ
Lucifer sat up fully, before getting to his feet. He stretched, raising his arms above his head before opening his mouth up in a yawn. He was already dressed in a pair of loose fitting sweat pants as he strolled to the bathroom. Did he put those on using magic?
You stood from the edge of the bed, quickly walking to your dresser and pulling out a casual outfit. You began slipping it on, before turning towards the open bathroom door.
You watched Luciferâs back flex slightly as he bent over to wash his face in the sink, your eyes drinking in his figure. Lucifer looked nothing like the ancient paintings visualized him to be. Your brain immediately recalled the image of Alexandre Cabanelâs famous painting, âThe Fallen Angelâ.
It depicted Lucifer as wide-shouldered, toned from head to toe with thick muscles. Nice calves too. Yet, standing here before you, he embodied an angel much more than he did in that painting. Elegant, serene, otherworldly.Â
Like how the candlelight perfectly illuminated his pearly-white skin, as if he was being basked in moonlight. Or how his touch was like velvet sheets against your skin, soft and delicate as he ran his fingers down your waist.Â
He exuded a certain feminine grace, that enraptured you when those pretty eyes of his sent you looks of adoration as you rambled about your current fixations, or gave him more lessons in art history. You smiled warmly at the thought, he was precious to you, no doubt.Â
âYou know what, Iâm thinking.. pancakes! Weâll finally put that big kitchen downstairs to use and make some breakfast.â Lucifer broke you out of your thoughts, as he walked up to you, pulling up the sleeves of his dress shirt. Damn, did he change without you even noticing again?Â
You smiled as he approached, the thought of food making your stomach growl. You were unbelievably hungry, seeing as there wasnât exactly time last night to stop for a meal.Â
âThat sounds like a good idea, weâll get everyone else in on it too and eat together, a big hazbin-family breakfast.âÂ
Lucifer nodded as he turned away from you, his eyes scanning the room. âWhich reminds me, that means I can give Charlie the tuxedoâŚâ He trailed off, turning to you slowly, a look of panic on his features.
âWhatâs wrong?â You asked, raising an eyebrow.
Lucifer rubbed a hand down his face, growling at himself. âI must have left the bag with her suit back at the club! Ugh, I'm such an idiot.âÂ
âItâs still early, it wonât take you more than a minute to get across the city. Go get her a new one.â You commanded, pointing towards the balcony doors in your room.Â
Lucifer followed your finger, and then nodded quickly. âYouâre right, Iâll go do that.â Quickly, he adjudged his bow-tie, before heading for the doors.Â
It wasnât until his hand was just inches from the handle, did you see the rather large reddish-purple mark sticking out from the crook of his neck. Your eyes widened and your cheeks flushed as you realized what exactly caused the bruise. How did you not notice that before?!Â
Quickly, you ran up to him and grabbed his shoulders, turning him to face you. âWait! You.. well-you, um⌠got something on your neck?âÂ
He regarded you for a moment, confusion written across his face. âSomething.. on my neck?âÂ
Your cheeks heated again, and you quickly reached up to grab the top of his shirt. On even further inspection, and a slight adjustment of his collar, you could make out the fainted curved indents of teeth marks along his collar bone.
Did you bite him that hard last night? You shouldnât have done that. What if Charlie saw it? That would be so awkward.Â
âFrom.. last night,â you finally uttered, âwhen I got a little carried away.âÂ
Luciferâs gaze narrowed, and then they widened slightly as he understood. A smirk tugged on his lips as he backed away from your grasp. âSo?âÂ
âWhat do you mean âsoâ? Itâs not normal for people to be walking around with hickeys all over them for everyone to gawk at!â You exclaimed, crossing your arms.
âWhy, so they wonât know I had you screaming my name, drenched on top of that table?â He asked, motioning towards the very same dining table that you had been laid over in pure bliss the night before.
You quickly averted your gaze to stop a mental picture forming, and instead met his eyes. Sending him a glare for his bluntness. Walking across the room, you bent down and pulled his overcoat from the side of your bed. Brushing off any dirt, you made your way back to Lucifer.
Silently, you wrestled him into the white garment. He stood there and watched as you adjusted his tall collar, trying your best to hide any love marks. After a little more fussing, you felt satisfied with your work and stepped back.Â
âThere, youâre ready to go! Now, if youâll excuse me I have to go remind everyone that I am alive.â You spoke. Last night, Lucifer had told you Angel Dust had been dropped in the lobby. It was late enough where everyone should have been asleep, and since nobody came to look for you after that, you assumed Angel had passed out and was probably working through a nasty hangover somewhere in the hotel.
You leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to Luciferâs lips, before nudging him towards the balcony doors. He turned, pulling them open and crossing the threshold. You stood in the entryway, watching him stroll to the black, metal railing. He glanced over the side, contemplating for a moment.
âNow, watch how the pro does it.â Lucifer teased as he turned to face you, his back leaning against the railing. With a little boost, he flipped himself backwards and vaulted over the metal bars. Your eyes widened in shock as he began to fall.
Right as his feet left the balcony, you ran to the railing peering over the side as you watched him plummet to the ground. Beneath him, a large, golden portal swirled alive waiting for him.Â
He waved up to you just as he crossed it, the portal swallowing him up and vanishing without a trace. You smiled, shaking your head at his little performance before turning back towards the doors.Â
For a few more minutes, you were busy tidying yourself up and trying to look presentable. You quickly squeezed some soap out of the little yellow ducky on the sink counter, and washed your hands and face. Soon, you noticed you were also adorned with a few love marks from Lucifer, and you sat in front of the mirror trying to hide them the best you could.Â
Feeling satisfied with your work, you turned away and headed for the doorway that led into the rest of the hotel. Grasping the handle, you slowly cracked the door open, peeking your head out slightly as you listed.
You could hear loud voices down the halls, in the direction of the lobby. There were multiple of them as if everyone was gathered in the same room, you exhaled a breath before straightening. Time to face the music.Â
Heading down the stairs, you strolled through the hallways. The voices became more and more audible as you closed in on the large, open room.
â-and then, I looked behind them and there was this guy all bloody and shit, pointing a gun right at Lucifer! I barely saw anything else happen bâfor I was sucked into this.. golden portal or something.â Angel Dustâs voice echoed through the lobby, as he retold the events of last night. He was standing in front of the T.V, the residents of the hotel listening from the couches circled around him. They leaned in, engrossed in his story.Â
âNext thing I knew, my ass hit the floor right here. God.. I was just so out of it I practically passed out where I was. I donât remember seeing either of them after that.. hey! you!â Angelâs eyes widened as he noticed you walking towards them. Suddenly, the entire hotelâs gaze was locked onto you.
Charlie quickly shot up from the couch, hurrying over to you. She scanned your figure, searching for any injuries as you stopped before her. After noting nothing serious was wrong with you, she took your hand, gripping it tightly. âWhere have you been? Angel just told us everything that happened! Are you okay?âÂ
âDonât worry, I'm fine. I wasnât hurt at all.â You assured the princess, smiling at her. Turning to the spider-demon, you scanned him for any injuries as well. âHow about you, Angel. Are you okay?â
âPfft, yeah. Iâm okay. Just a lil shaken up, especially after watching you almost get shot. It seemed you got a good sleep, though.âÂ
âWait, youâve been here this whole fucking time. Did anyone else know that?â Vaggie called from the couch, crossing her arms as she stood up.Â
âI did. Theyâve been here all night.â Nifty spoke from the floor, her single eye staring into you.Â
How did she know that? Did Nifty.. hear anything?
âUhm.. yes, thatâs right. Yesterday was just rough. So, I went to sleep right away.â You answered, lying through your teeth.
âAnd my dad?â Charlie questioned.
You shrugged, âI have no clue.â
âWell, at least our dear friend is back safe and sound!â A familiar voice exclaimed from next to you. You jumped slightly, turning to see Alastor and his award-winning smile as he looked at you. âCharlie insisted that I come find you, but I assured her you are capable of handling your own affairs. Especially, with our lovely king to protect you.â
You smiled slightly at him, âYes, indeed. Iâm sorry for not coming to see you guys sooner. I just got.. distracted.âÂ
âWith what?â Angel asked, an eyebrow raised and hands on his hips. You paused, before opening your mouth to speak.
You werenât able to get a word out before you heard a thumping coming from the front doors of the hotel. Everyone turned towards the noise, and through the stained glass, you could make out the silhouette of a rather tall hat peeking from the bottom of the glass.
âWell, ainât that a little too good of timing.â Husk grumbled from the bar, as he leaned over the counter to get a look at the doorway. You silently agreed, that was fast.Â
Charlie recognized the familiar figure as well, and quickly ran to the door. She yanked it open, and there he was. Lucifer stood, adorned in his full outfit, a pink bag in his hand as he strode into the room. Next to you, you swore Alastorâs grip on his cane tightened.Â
âCharlie, good morning! How are you doing, sweetheart?â Lucifer beamed as he embraced her, who accepted the hug gratefully.
âIâm good, dad. But, what about you? I heard what happened! Did you kill people?â She eyed him with a firm stare, as if in disapproval of his actions.
Lucifer shrugged, âOnly bad people, I had to protect your spider-friend over there. You should keep a better eye on him.â
âApparently,â Charlie sighed, glancing at Angel behind them before turning back to her father, âand where have you been?â
Luciferâs gaze momentarily landed on you, and you shook your head slightly. âDonât say anything about it,â you commanded him through your eyes. Especially not with everyone in the room, hungry for more information.Â
âOh, wellllll, I was just in town and snagged this for you!â Lucifer lifted up the pink bag, a nervous smile on his lips as he held it out for Charlie to take.
Eyeing it curiously, Charlie gently took it from his hands. She peered into it, her eyes widening as she reached in and lifted the garment from its wrapping.Â
It was that same red suit that you had eyed through the glass display the day before, gold lapels shimmered in the light above. It was very beautiful, and you thought it would look good against Charlieâs ivory skin.Â
Charlie didnât say anything, instead, she just stood there. The tuxedo in her grip, opened fully to reveal the entire garment. Her fingers lightly trailed down the front of it, grazing across the buttons and textured sleeves. Her eyes were unreadable, a mix of emotions you couldnât quite place.
âDid you.. buy this for me?â She asked after a moment, looking up at Lucifer. He met her gaze, seemingly a little nervous from her reaction.Â
âWell, you said the one you had was getting a bunch of wear and tear, so I thought that would look perfect on you. Do.. you like it?âÂ
âI love it!â Charlie exclaimed with glee, she set the suit aside and pulled her father into another bear hug. âThank you so much! It's wonderful, especially since itâs from you!âÂ
Lucifer exhaled a sigh of relief at her words, he tightened his arms around her, trying to capture every second of her loving gesture in his hold. He smiled warmly, and for a moment it looked like he was going to tear up.Â
He didnât, instead he pulled away, straightening his back. He cleared his throat, rubbing at his face before looking back at Charlie. The adoration in his eyes was on full display, and if anyone ever doubted that the mighty king didnât love his daughter, youâd slap them.
Adjusting his collar, Lucifer turned towards the group of onlookers. âNow, who wants some pancakes?âÂ
Everyone seemed to perk at that, and Nifty hopped from her spot next to Alastor, raising her hand in excitement.Â
âAs long as they are sssstrawberry pancakesss!â Sir. Pentious declared as he rose from his seat, slithering towards the swinging doors, where the large kitchen lay behind. His little eggs waddling after him, a chorus of âoh boy!âs rose from the shells.
âCmon,â Husk beckoned Angel Dust as he left the bar, âLet's get something in your stomach to fight that hangover of yours.â
âOh, yes pleaseâ Angel smiled, joining the bartender. Even Alastor seemed interested in joining them in the other room, as he slowly followed behind the group.Â
âIâm kinda feeling waffles today.â Vaggie spoke up, her hand entwined with Charlieâs as they walked.Â
âWe can make whatever you wish,â you responded, smiling at her, âexcept, maybe not eggs. At least with the company weâre keeping.âÂ
Pushing open the red doors, the flooring shifted into large, white marble tiles. The room was stuffed with cabinets and pantries, multiple fridges also dotted its perimeter. Long, creamy-white stone countertops lined the walls, as well as a large kitchen island in the center of the space.Â
There was an empty space on the other side of the room, big enough to hold a large dining table and chairs. It was actually a great place to do something like that, but where couldÂ
Behind you, Lucifer was pulling different ingredients out of the fridge. The shelves were surprisingly well stocked, even the pantries above as he continued to pull out items of importance.
âDad, shouldnât you take off your coat?â Charlie asked beside him, as she tied an apron around her waist. You tensed, slowly pivoting to their direction.
Lucifer halted, a box of baking powder hanging in mid-air between his fingers. His gaze snapped to you, then back to Charlie. You were desperately hoping no one could see the sweat beading down your forehead. Â
âYouâre right,â Lucifer started, as he placed the baking powder on the counter, âI canât cook with such loose sleeves.âÂ
He snapped his fingers, and it seemed like the coat began to melt against his skin, shifting into a white turtleneck. The long neck sleeve covered the hickeys that peppered the sides of his throat, continuing to hide your previous entanglement. And, damn, he looked really nice in that outfit too.Â
Tying on a red apron with the words âKiss the chefâ embroidered on the front. After pulling up his sleeves, Lucifer began to pull out mixing bowls and other utensils.Â
âJust you wait, Charlie, after today youâll never want anyone elseâs pancakes again. My recipe is the best there is.â He spoke, puffing out his chest slightly as he addressed his daughter.Â
Charlie only laughed softly, pulling out a box containing waffle mix as she sidled up next to her dad. âI donât doubt that one bit!âÂ
As the two continued prepping to cook, you turned to grab an apron of your own. As you walked to the wooden hooks hanging on the wall, you took note of the others around you.Â
Angel, Husk, and Sir. Pentious huddled together over another counter, a carton of milk and a jar of strawberry jam laid in front of them.
âHow âbout we make ya some strawberry milk while we wait, snake boy?â He asked, a playful smile on his lips. Sir. Pentious nodded quickly, his hood raised in happiness.Â
Using a tablespoon to take a few scoops out of the jar, he plopped them into an empty cocktail mixer that he borrowed from the bar. Pouring in the milk, he placed the lid on the mixer, before handing it to Husk.Â
With a few shakesâand a couple of party tricks consisting of him catching the mixer behind his back, and spinning it across his forearmâthe lid was popped off, and Husk poured the bright pink liquid into the glass cup in front of Sir. Pentious.Â
Both demons clapped for the bartender, who smiled proudly at the reaction. Sir. Pentious gingerly lifted the glass to his lips, before taking a small sip. After a moment, eyes lit up, a large smile on his face.
He took another large gulp, before thanking Angel Dust and Husk for the drink.Â
âOh, and donât forget about my egg boisss.â Sir. Pentious turned to Angel Dust, pointing at the small group of eggs looking enviously up at the drink in his claws.Â
Angel looked down, his eyes darting to the ingredients in front of him, before he simply shrugged. âAlright, whoâs thirsty?âÂ
âI would like some, please!â Frank yelled excitedly, the eggs behind him jumping in place with large smiles on their faces.Â
Angel Dust chuckled, turning away to grab more glasses. Husk was already preparing the scoops of jam, licking a small mess of the red foodstuff from his claws.Â
Grabbing the apron from the hook, you adjusted it to your figure, tying it tight behind your back. Next to you, Vaggie was holding a knife in her hand. She was looking down, a firm gaze aimed at Nifty.
âNo, Niff. This is not a place to run around with a knife. You can get it back after breakfast.âÂ
Niftyâs shoulders drooped, a frown on her face as she walked away. She passed by Alastor, who stood silently, watching the bustling group of demons. Wasnât he going to join in? He was technically part of the Hazbin family.Â
Slowly, you approached him, and his gaze snapped to you. His smile widened as he turned to you, the cane at his side rolling between his fingers.Â
âAh, hello there, my friend! Good to see you alive and well, ha-ha,â His eyes squinted as he tilted his head at you, âwhat can I do for you today?âÂ
âDonât you want some food? Weâll be cooking soon. It doesnât have to be breakfast, I think we have enough here to make whatever you want.âÂ
Alastor actually contemplated your question for a moment, his eyes staring off in thought. âHm, well, there was something I had in mind, but the seasoning it needs is not in my possession anymore.âÂ
âWhat happened to it?â You asked curiously.
âI simply gave it to someone more in need of it than I. Hopefully, sheâll be putting good use to it.â
A lady friend? You wanted to ask about this âsomeoneâ, but felt prying wouldnât get you anywhere with the mysterious overlord. Instead, you beckoned him to follow as you walked towards the counter space Lucifer and Charlie were situated at.Â
You both stopped at the creamy-white marbled island. On its surface, was a large recipe book and different ingredients spread across. Alastor had to like something here, even if it wasnât a decaying deer.
âLetâs see.. we could do french toast, yogurt parfaits, breakfast burritos, oh! We even could make hash browns! What do you think?â
Alastor bent down to look besides you, his eyes scanning the pages. He opened his mouth to speak, before his gaze snapped to another demon coming into view.
âDarling, iâve finished the pancake mix. I was thinking you couldâŚâ Lucifer stopped, locking eyes with the Radio Demon. A frown formed on his lips, and his brow furrowed. âOh. Itâs you.âÂ
That smile Alastor held widened, as he straightened himself and turned towards the fallen angel. You grimaced, not again.
âYour majesty! What a pleasure to see you this hellish morning, I apologize for not being able to greet you when you arrived earlier.â
âA tragedy.â Lucifer responded mildly, before his eyes settled on you.Â
âWell isnât this nice! The four of us, all working together to make this breakfast special.â Charlie appeared besides her father, a smile on her lips as she tried to lighten the situation.
âYes, I was just asking Alastor what else he thinks we should make.â You nodded along, before turning to the demon for his input.
âIt appears your menu contains a less-than-ideal amount of meat, my friend. Perhaps, some bacon roll-ups? They were a staple for meals back in my days on earth. Very simple as well, just cream cheese, bread, and bacon!â
You were aware of what he was talking about. They were made by putting cream cheese on a slice of bread, before using a strip of bacon to roll it into a ball. Youâd spear it with a toothpick and bake it for about twenty minutes, and wala, an odd delicacy.
âThat is a great idea! Isnât it, dad?â Charlie asked, nudging her father with her elbow, prodding for a response.
âIt sounds kind of gross.âÂ
âDad!â Charlie turned, a slight growl in her voice. âSay something nice!âÂ
âBacon is much better than venison, though!â Lucifer quickly responded, following his daughterâs demand. You place a hand to your face, sighing at his antics. A hint of smile played on your lips as you walked forward, pulling Lucifer away by the arm.
Charlie turned back to Alastor, their conversation inaudible as you walked away. You went to the opposite side of the kitchen, where the bowl full of pancake batter lay. Flour messily covered the countertop,Â
âYou two need to learn to get along, you bicker like an old married couple.â You said after a few moments.
Lucifer shot you a look, visibly distraught by your comment. âThat guy gets on my nerves! If it werenât for Charlie liking him so much, I'd smite him.âÂ
âYeah, yeah, tough guy,â you teased, leaning against him. You both sat there for a few moments, silently indulging in each other's presence. Later, youâd ask to seek his company in the privacy of your room. For now, you pulled away, grabbing the mixing bowl.
âSo, what did you need my help with?âÂ
âI thought youâd like to give the pancakes a little.. shape,â he started, turning towards the stove and spinning the dial, âuse that artistic talent of yours and make a delicious masterpiece, hm?âÂ
You perked, he wants you to make pancake art? What a wonderful idea! This was something you have never done before, but youâve seen enough videos to imitate it. âIâll go get some dark food coloring, and another mixing bowl.â
Lucifer began placing pans onto the stove burners, placing small amounts of butter in each. They sizzled as the pan began to heat. You stood besides him, slowly stirring the batter as you hummed to the tune of âinnsbruck, I must leave theeâÂ
Soon, Lucifer was humming the notes as well, and you smiled warmly as the two of you stood-by-side, drowning out the otherâs chatter with your little tune.Â
Nearby, Vaggie and Charlie were giggling to each other as they placed the waffle mix into its designated maker. Small bowls of different fruit and syrup spread around, as they prepared the toppings.Â
Alastor stood beside them, a large cooking fork floating mid-air in front of him. Small tendrils snaked around the utensil as it occasionally lowered to the pan in front of him to adjust the bacon.Â
âHey, Al! Why donâcha give us a table over here so we can have somewhere to eat?â Angel Dust called, a stack of plates in his hand. The egg bois stood patiently around him, each holding a set of silverware and napkins.Â
Alastor turned to the spider-demon before humming a confirmation. Lifting his hand, he snapped his fingers. A large oak table materialized from a cloud of green smoke, a long, red table-runner rolled free as it hung slightly off the edges.
Chairs seemingly rose from the floor like the undead, rocking slightly as they settled around the table. The egg bois rushed forward, clumsily climbing up the chairs as they began placing the silverware. Using his extra arms, Angel quickly placed the plates down, before doing the same with the glass cups.Â
Husk raised Nifty by the waist, allowing her to reach over the table and pour the different liquid contents into their respectable glasses.Â
Strawberry milk for Sir. Pentious and his bois, water for Alastor, and chocolate milk for Vaggie and Charlie. Apple juice filled Luciferâs cup, and your favorite drink was topped to the brim right next to his.
In front of you, two bowls of batter laid beside the stove you stood at. One was a dark brown, the other a much lighter shade.Â
You had cleaned two ketchup bottles, before slowly pouring in the different batters and filling them full. Using the bottles, youâd make batter shapes on the pan, and use the lighter shade to fill in the lineart. Â
Right now, you were attempting to make the outline of a duckâwho would have thought?âfor Lucifer. It was coming out surprisingly well, in your opinion. The lines were rather smooth, and the beak looked like a beak so all seemed good.Â
You switched bottles, ready to begin filling in the pancake. Before you felt someone sidle up behind you, fingers grazed softly down your back with familiar warmth.
âWhat are you doing now?â Lucifer peeked from behind you, getting a glimpse of your work. You moved over slightly, inviting him in front of your cooking easel.Â
âTake a guess,â you smiled next to him, âI figured youâd want something cute to start off your day.â
âWell, it seems you made it too cute to eat.â Lucifer pouted, as he stared at the little pancake. You laughed, reaching for a spatula and gripping the pan handle with the other hand.Â
âAnd itâs too cute to let it get cold and then throw it away.â You spoke, lowering the spatula into the pan. You shimmied it underneath the pancake, before flipping it quickly. As it landed, the image of the duck became much clearer, the lines flat and smooth.Â
âIâm just glad you love me enough to combine my two favorite things.â Lucifer smiled, before he nuzzled his cheek softly against yours. You moved your head slightly, letting your lips graze against his cheekbone.Â
Looking down at the pancake, you lifted it slightly to check whether it was done. Seeing the golden-brown hue, you lifted the ban from the burner. Slowly, you slid the duck-cake onto the finished pile.Â
There were two plates of hot, delicious pancakes. One was simply everyday pancakes, which Lucifer had made. Yours on the other hand were handcrafted Each one was a unique shape. There was a smiley face, an octopus, a butterfly, a fish, and now, a duck. You smiled proudly at your creations.Â
Picking up the plates of pancakes, the two of you walked towards the dining table. The egg bois were already seated, and the others were finishing up their tasks.
âFinally, letâs eat!â Vaggie called towards the group of demons slowly gathering around the table. Charlie picked up a few waffles from the stack, and placed them on a few plates.Â
Vaggie appeared next to her, a small plate of french toast in her grip as she too began moving around the table.Â
Alastor set a large, flat dish in the middle of the table. Small toothpicks stuck out of the bacon wraps, steam wafting slowly from the interior. Nifty reached out and grabbed one, placing it on her plate.
You turned towards the pile of pancakes, grabbing a spatula to begin setting them on a separate plate before Lucifer slid beside you, watching your movements.
âIâve got this, Darling. You go sit down.â He nudged you away from the plates, towards the table. You sent him a warm smile, before turning and taking a seat next to Sir. Pentious and Husk.Â
âSaved a seat for me, didâya?â Angel Dust smiled at Husk, before plopping down into the seat next to him. He had a large fruit bowl, a multitude of sliced colorful produce nestled together.
âOnly because youâd bitch if I didnât,â Husk replied, a faint smile playing on his lips as he drank from his glass. To be honest, this was the first time you saw Husk take a sip of something that wasnât alcohol.Â
Charlie lowered the large plate of remaining waffles onto the table, before brushing her hands against her apron and walking to her own seat.
âDig in, everyone!â she exclaimed, her smile infectious as she served herself a stack of french toast.
Niftyâs eyes widened in delight as she took a bite of the bacon wrap, while Sir Pentious marveled at the designs of your handcrafted pancakes.
âHere you go, little lady.â Lucifer bowed slightly to Nifty, setting down the steaming tower of pancakes in front of her. She clapped her hands with giddy, before turning to Lucifer and giving him a pat on the cheek.
âGood boy.â She teased, before bursting into giggles.
Luciferâs smile faltered, and he leaned back. He chuckled nervously, backing away to grab more food. He quickly walked around the table, before setting waffles onto each of the eggs boiâs plates. They licked their lips hungrily, as they stared down at the delicacy in front of them. Lucifer stood up, a hand slowly reaching behind his back.
âA good friend of mine told me you boys fancy ice cream, is that right?â He looked at Frank, who nodded his shell rapidly. Lucifer grinned cheekily, as he pulled forth a large tub of vanilla ice cream.
âWell, good thing for you, nobody said you canât mix a little dessert with breakfast once in a while.âÂ
The egg bois practically went berserk seeing the holy grail of yummy deliciousness. They vibrated happily in their seats as Lucifer scooped a large glob on top of each eggâs waffles. It began to slowly melt, running across the waffles surface like syrup.Â
He stepped back, as the eggs began to devour the food on their plates. Mumbling a thanks through their full mouths as Lucifer strode away, grabbing pancakes for himself.
He sat down across from you, his eyes moving from the scene around him and then on to you. He stared at you for a moment, while you were busy stuffing your face with the food on your plate. After a moment, you met his gaze.Â
âFood too hot, or something? You keep staring at me.â You teased, tilting your head at him.
âItâs just hard to tear my gaze away,â he spoke, âwhen there is something much more delicious in front of me than the pancakes on my plate.âÂ
Your cheeks heated, and you averted your gaze, reaching out to grab a bacon wrap. You twisted the toothpick between your fingers, and inhaled the scent as it wafted from the small bundle.
It wasnât too bad, and you were about to take a nibble before you saw Luciferâs watery eyes. You raised an eyebrow at him, and he only sniffled in response.
âYouâre going to eat his wraps before you eat my pancakes?â He pouted, lowering his head in mock-defeat. Rolling your eyes playfully, you took a fork and cut a small piece of pancake from the rest. Taking the bacon wrap, you stabbed the other end of the toothpick through the small square.Â
Lifting the bacon-pancake duo to your lips, you pulled them from the toothpick with your teeth. You swirled it in your mouth, your eyes rolling back as the flavors burst on your tongue.Â
When you looked back at Lucifer, he was staring intensely at you. A smirk playing on his lips, before he sighed dramatically.Â
âNow what is it?â
âNothing.. just thinking about how that could be me.âÂ
You burst out laughing when those words left his lips, shocked at his sudden bluntness. Sir Pentious turned to you, giving you a look of worry as you almost choked on your food.Â
After a moment, you cleared your throat. You sent Lucifer a glare for almost killing you, and he only chuckled before turning his attention from you.
Charlie, who had been sitting a few chairs away, turned to you. She smiled warmly as she spoke, âthank you for helping us with this. I really liked your butterfly pancake!â
You returned the smile, nodding your head. âIt was no problem at all, I think we all deserve to have a good meal surrounded by friends. Itâs you who brought us all together, so thank you.â
Charlie blushed at your words, before turning her attention back to Vaggie. Who was talking to her about an idea regarding the hotel.Â
You looked around the table, taking note of the smiling faces and cheerful conversation. Alastor was helping Nifty cut some of her pancakes, his precise strikes with the knife seemed familiar to that of cutting steaks.
Sir Pentious was handing his eggs each a piece of french toast, helping them drown it in syrup as they sat there happily. Slight traces of ice cream still around their mouths.
Angel Dust and Husk were busy picking fruit from the bowl, with Angel making some kind of lude comment as he watched fruit juice dribble down Huskâs chin. Who only growled and playfully swatted at the spider-demon.
Your gaze stopped in front of you, resting on Lucifer. He had finished almost his entire plate, and now was resting his chin against his knuckles. His elbow rested against the table, and he shifted slightly to tilt his head at you.Â
âWell, what do you think? Would you have preferred breakfast in bed?â He asked, taking another sip of his apple juice.
You shook your head, smiling at him. Contentedness spreads across your features as you let the food settle in your stomach.Â
âNo, I could get used to mornings like this,â you spoke softly.Â
Lucifer nodded, his fingers reaching out to graze yours. You laced your index finger with his, and tapped his knuckles softly.Â
âYeah, me too.â ďżź
who doesnât enjoy some fluff about cooking with your lover? just pure fluff today, but i hope you guys enjoyed this! :)
sorry about that long wait, forgive me đ
taglist: @ohnoivefallen @doodlebob2726 @coleisyn @loslox @sukxma @undertale-is-sansational @nehy019 @mixplara @chewbrry @yellowsubiesdance @airwolf92 @laurenlaurie @lxkeee @jellybellyrulez @catnoirsleftnut @mbruben-stein @mint129106 @froggybich @moonlovers34 @just-trash-yeah-thats-it @lil-bexie @lowkeyhottho @wings-of-sapphire @kottenox
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blue eyes so green (18+)
Ewan Mitchell x reader / Aemond Targaryen x reader
A oneshot where Ewan becomes cross with you for having a sensuous dream... about his character, Aemond.
a/n : yet another Ewan fic to ring in the season premiere! Expect a whole lot of Aemond fics while we're in the thick of the new season. Happy premiere day, my loves!
word count : 1k âŞď¸ masterlist
The silver-haired Targaryen emerges from underneath your skirts, his deft fingers buried in the layers of cloth to keep them away from your prized cunny.
His curved lips are left puckered, parted and glistening from the sheen of your juices. He had practically lost his mind when you finally returned from your duties with the Septa, the hours far too long for him to be away from his lady-wife.
So, with only a few raspy words of desire -
You have kept me waiting
All day long I have longed for a taste of you, my wife.
I will make certain that you never wish to be parted from me again.
- he had lifted you atop the desk in his study, haphazardly shoving his heavy leather-bound volumes of histories and philosophies.
And in a haste, he delighted in a sweetness that can only ever be known to him. Just him, because you will only ever be his.
Your cunny is his. Your kisses all his own. Your heart, his possession.
And he is yours. All yours. He will never tire of making this known. "My love," his tone is desperate as he kisses you hungrily, the exquisite rarity of a prince begging, "I am yours to take for tonight, and every night, for as long as I am breathing."
"Oh, Aemond," you croon, tracing his features with your fingertips, "my sweet husband. Is that your fancy way of telling me that you wish to fuck me for eternity?"
He smiles against your skin. He has always loved the pert particularity of his wife's humour.
"Oh, my sweet sweet wife," his hands seek and they find the fastenings of your dress, the keys to his kingdom, "you know me so well."
And long into the night, you ride a dragon.
All throughout the morning, you can count on one hand the times your boyfriend actually spoke to you.
A few rushed, almost incoherent responses are all he seems capable of sharing.
And it is starting to bug you.
"Baby," you reach for Ewan's hand as the two of you peacefully have your Sunday breakfast.
He squeezes your hand in return, at least, but he doesn't fully meet your gaze.
You retract your hand, and for a split second, his hand scrambles to keep a hold of yours on instinct, but he lets it go with a sigh.
You try again, your tone now more demanding, "Alright, Ewan. Tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing's wro - "
"Look at me."
He takes his sweet time in doing so, his blue eyes raking from his plate to the expanse of the dining table, to your arms and finally your face. He takes another deep breath, unfazed by the attitude you're showing him.
"Some dream you had last night, huh, babe?"
"Excuse me?"
"Oh yeah," he tilts his head, with the solemn confidence of someone who thinks he has the upper hand, "you just about woke me up with all your squirming and moaning."
"Oh." It dawns on you just what he is hinting at. Normally you would only recall some odd bits from your dreams, and sometimes they would even be gone from your mind as soon as you wake. But not the one you just had - no.
That one was just too good to forget.
"Baby, come on," a giggle escapes your lips, feeling less heavy now that you know what he is so worked up about.
"It's not funny," he pouts, fighting back a laugh as he can't help but mirror his beloved's glee. He dramatically pushes his plate away, but the annoyance isn't there. "You basically cheated on me," he pretends to complain.
"Do you even know who I dreamt about?" You amble over to where he sits, and his eager arms take you onto his lap. So much for being infuriated at you.
He doesn't answer, shaking his head as he absently caresses your hips.
"You," you clarify, and his eyes shoot up to meet yours, "well... you meaning Aemond. I had a dream about the one-eyed prince."
He shrugs, "I know."
"You... you know?" You try to stand up but his sturdy arms keep you firmly in place. "You know who I was dreaming about, and yet you sulk all morning?"
"So what? I can't deny that I'm still jealous. Aemond would be a pretty fierce competitor for your heart, darling."
"But he's you!" you squeal, lightly punching his chest. He takes your forearm and pulls you closer to press a soft kiss against your cheek.
"I know," he smiles. "I suppose I was just getting way into my thoughts."
"You think?"
"Hmm," he narrows his eyes, his features taking on that cheeky guise he expertly sports so often, "if you were to choose, between myself and Aemond - "
"Oh no," you laugh dryly, prying yourself from his arms and returning to your seat, "I am not playing this game."
"Who do you think would be a superior lover in bed?"
"Ewan - "
"Come on, darling," he prods lightheartedly. "Humour me."
"Well," you say, "why don't you hurry up and finish your breakfast so you can convince me to your side?"
His cheeky sneer disappears at your insinuation, in its place an indicative clenching of his jaw.
A moment passes. You take a delightful sip of your orange juice, satisfied.
Sure enough, you hear his chair scrape loudly as he stands and makes his way to you.
"Fuck breakfast," he rasps. "Time to make your dreams come true, darling."
#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen imagine#ewan mitchell#ewan mitchell x reader#ewan mitchell imagine#hotd#house of the dragon
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intimacy. â 8:16đŠ.đŚ.
content warnings. -> mdni. smut. afab. fem!reader. cunnilingus. slight breeding kink. praise kink. aemond is in love.
+. hii, my loves! iâm officially back & posting new writing content after a few months of my hiatus. this is just something short i wrote to get back into writing smut/fluff again. will prob delete laterâŚidk. love u. âĽď¸
the night is still young, full of soft caresses and tangled limbs. deep, eager thrusts and sensual kisses. sweet, feminine moans and deep groans of endless pleasure. youâre embraced by your lover, his arms long and lean and possessive, wrapped snuggly around you, never wanting to let you go.
this is how you spend your most recent nights, being fucked roughly, lovingly, with large, calloused hands and sweet nothings whispered into your ear, possessive words spilled by your loverâs kiss-swollen lipsâ youâre his perfect girl.
his sweet, most beloved girl.
his, his, his.
âmmh, you taste so fucking sweet,â aemond purrs against you, his lips pursing as he suckles your overstimulated clit into his mouth, flicking his skilled, silver tongue over the fleshy nub, his eye flashing darkly as he watches you, silently observing you, watching the way you cry out for him, your mind falling into oblivion.
pure, blissful pleasure beyond comprehension, that is all you feel, all you can taste, all you can touch, needy and wanting more, more, more.
it is almost exhausting, coming so many times on your loverâs wicked tongue, feeling the rough pads of his fingertips dig into the curve of your plush, womanly hips, humming against your sweet cunt as you mewl like the most beautiful creature he has ever seen.
âperfectâŚso, so perfect, my love.â
shyly, you lock eyes with himâ your beloved aemond, the other half of your soul. âahh, aemondâ please, i- i needâŚ.â you trail off breathily, so beautiful and innocent, your sweet voice stammering slightly from how needy you were, desperate for aemond and his devoted touch.
and then, you gasp weakly, your heavy-lidded doe eyes widening, seeing the yearning and dark obsessive sparkle that made your husbandâs eye glow, his prominent adamâs apple bobbing up and down as he continues slurping at your tiny, drooling cunt, eagerly drinking down the sweetness of your liquid pleasure, making wet, obscene noises with his mouth as he feasted on your exquisite ambrosia.
âmy precious girl, my heartâ mine,â aemond rasps, his voice deep and hoarse, his jaw throbbing with the way he continued feasting on your dripping cunny, devoted to making you come over and over again on his tongue until he canât stand it anymore.
aemond needs you, beyond desperate as he slips his leaking cock inside of your tight, gummy walls, his lips now claiming yours, kissing you messilyâ he is full of his own endless passion and desires, his tongue curling around yours so perfectly, a most perfect match, making the young prince purr deeply as he tastes your innocence on his own tongue.
oh, he wants, he wants you, more than anything.
you were always so alluring, so lovelyâ youâre like an endless dream that aemond never wished to wake up from, wanting to be lost inside of you forever, never to be parted, two bodies, two halves of one shared soul, intertwined for eternity.
aemond sighs, breathless, overwhelmed by your ethereal beauty, obsessed with the way your weeping cunt squeezes his cock, making him ache and long to fill your womb with his hot, scorching seedâ and oh, you would make the most beautiful mother, aemond thinks, yearning to make you the mother of his children, his heirs.
the night is still young, and so, it continues, with sweet promises and declarations of endless love whispered from aemondâs lips, lost in the warmth and love that is simply you, and youâre his, only hisâ completely and eternally.
and tonight, like every night previous in your shared martial chambers, youâre all that matters to the one-eyed prince.
#â ࣪â ×
âĄŕžŕ˝˛ ࣪đ#âËࡠđśđđđđ'đ đđđđđ.#hotd#hotd s2#house of the dragon#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen imagine#aemond targaryen drabble#aemond targaryen fanfiction#aemond targaryen fic#aemond targaryen smut#aemond targaryen fluff#aemond the kinslayer#aemond one eye#hotd aemond#hotd fanfiction#hotd fanfic#hotd imagine#aemond x reader#aemond smut#aemond fluff#ewanverse#ewan mitchell
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TOO SWEET
A/N: i know originally i teased something else with the hozier song, but this came to me when i saw the pics below and i just had to write them. also, i put the bruises on him so go easy on my photoshop skills lol
WORD COUNT: 1.5k
WARNING: mention of blood and bruises
SUMMARY:Â You and Harry are worlds apart, yet you can't let go of each other, not even when he stumbles into your home in the middle of the night, bruised and in pain.
MASTERLISTÂ |Â SUPPORT ME!
You wake to the sound of the front door closing and by the time his footsteps reach the bathroom down the hall youâre fully conscious. There was a time when you considered yourself a heavy sleeper, when the smallest noises could not bother you enough to wake from your dreams, but those days have been gone ever since Harry came into your life.Â
You kind of knew what you were getting yourself into, his reputation and horrific stories about his dark deals were more than well-known around town and there was a time you never thought youâd get involved with him. Youâre worlds apart, he is the fire that will burn you if you get too close, but it appears youâre the water that could take his danger out. Just one party, one glance across the room was enough to bound you two together and turn your life upside down.Â
Surprisingly, you werenât the only one fighting against the pull. In the beginning, Harry tried to keep him away from you just as much as you attempted to convince yourself he is nothing but trouble. You still remember what he told you one night when you met him at a dodgy bar against your better judgment.Â
âI take my whiskey neat, my coffee black and my bed at three. Youâre way too sweet for me, baby.â
It felt like he wasnât even talking to you but to himself. His light green eyes were darker than ever as he stared down at your lips and you couldnât figure out what you wanted more, to kiss him or to leave him. Even though what he said sounded a lot like a promise that heâll step back, somehow you just ended up even closer.Â
Life with Harry is like a rollercoaster that takes you through Hell and Heaven at the same time. When itâs good, itâs a high youâve never experienced before, he is everything you want and could ever need, he fills your heart and eases your mind like no one can and you know he is the piece youâve been searching for all your life.
But when itâs low⌠the darkness feels like a weight you can barely carry and itâs hard to remember what it was like when you were blossoming.Â
You never asked Harry to stop his underworld deals, you know itâs practically impossible, but itâs also hard to live like this. Fearing every call you get, fighting intrusive thoughts about what might have happened to him every time he doesnât answer your messages and then there are the nights like this, when he visits you in the middle of the night but itâs always for the wrong reason.Â
The first time Harry appeared at your door at two am, blood running down his face, barely holding himself up, you got so worried he had to calm you even though he was the one with the injuries, but you just couldnât stop crying and sobbing.Â
Now you still get yourself worked up but you learned to keep your face straight as you clean his wounds or even stitch them, but itâs still just as much of a struggle emotionally to see the man you love like this all the time.Â
You sit up in your bed as you hear him grunt before closing the bathroom door as quietly as he can and then the water starts running. Reaching for your phone on the nightstand you check the time, itâs just a little past three in the morning, the dim light of the streetlamps are the only source of light in your tiny bedroom, but even despite the darkness, it still feels bright and homey, you spent a lot of time to create this bubble for yourself and though Harryâs gruff and edgy presence feels the farthest from your colorful life, he still somehow belongs here, in your life.
Rubbing your eyes you stand up and look for the cardigan you know you left on the chair in the corner. When you find it you wrap yourself into it tight and take a moment to mentally prepare yourself for whatever youâll see. From what you heard, he wasnât limping so thatâs a good start, but you still know thereâs a whole lot that could be terrifyingly wrong with him to make him come to you instead of his place.
The water has stopped running by the time you make your way out of the bedroom and over to the bathroom. Light is flowing out underneath the door and you donât know before simply twisting the knob and opening the door, revealing Harry sitting in the bathtub, bent forward, his curls wet and brushed back, bruises covering his shoulders, back and jawline, his bottom lip busted open.
Repentance fills his glimmering eyes when he looks at you and you know what he would say if his pride allowed him to speak.
âIâm sorry, baby. Iâm so sorry. I want to be better for you, but itâs so hard.â
Walking over you kneel down next to the tub and cup his face with your palm, gentle and soft, not to hurt him and he melts into your touch in an instant.Â
âIâm alright,â he rasps as you run your hand down his naked chest, over some of the bruises and you notice how he winces when your cold hand touches a vigorously dark mark on his collarbone.Â
Youâd do anything to free him from this dark world that keeps him as its prisoner, but ironically you know what kind of consequences one would have to endure to be set free and you fear those would take him from you forever. So every time you see the marks of this evil life on him, a piece of you dies. For him.Â
âIâll get you some pills,â you whisper and try to get up, but his hand grabs your arm, holding you back.
âJust⌠stay with me, please.â Itâs a desperate plea you could never ignore, so you settle back onto the fuzzy rug next to the tub, one arm against his chest as he hugs it like a child, your thumb gently rubbing the side of his neck. But you donât stay like that much longer. The urge to get closer to him grows unbearable, so you move to stand again and when you see the panic in his eyes youâre quick to calm him.
âIâm not going anywhere.â
Hesitantly, but he lets go of your arm and watches you as you undress yourself and join him in the tub, sitting behind him so you can hug him from behind, your chest melting against his back as your heartbeats sync.Â
His head falls back onto your shoulder while your lips pepper kisses onto his every once in a while, your hands gently running up and down his front, eager to feel the softness of his skin.Â
âYouâre way too sweet for me,â he breathes out.
âHavenât we been over this?â you ask with a soft smile. He lifts his head and then turns it so he can look at you.Â
âI feel like Iâm ruining you.â
âDonât act like itâs all on you. I made a decision too and I chose to be with you.â
âYou made a mistake,â he whispers and you see something dark, something desperate take over his face for a moment, but youâre quick to bring him back to you, like you always do.
Soothing his hair back, you pull him closer so your lips meet for the softest kiss.Â
âYou could never be a mistake,â you whisper against his lips and you feel him inhale sharply before he kisses you, harder and needier and youâre happy to give him whatever he demands from you.Â
You stay in the tub until the water gets too cold. Then you grab him a shirt and a pair of underwear he left at yours a while ago and you move to the bedroom. He finally lets you get him some painkillers and you tell him to get in bed when he tries to randomly fix the jammed drawer of your desk. He loves to play the handyman when heâs over, but now is definitely not the time for that.
âOkay, doctor, gotcha,â he chuckles cheekily as he shuffles over to the bed. He watches you with a smirk as youâre moving around, grabbing another blanket before joining him in bed.
âWhat?â you ask when he just keeps looking at you smugly.
âYou take so good care of me, baby. You know, there is one more thing I think I need to feel better.â
Reaching over he hooks a finger into the front of your shirt, tugging it down teasingly.Â
âOh, really?â you arch an eyebrow at him.
âAbsolutely.â
Instead of a reply, you move closer and press two fingers into a bruise on his shoulder just enough to make him wince and flinch back from the pain.
âI think you need to stay away from physical activities, thatâs the doctorâs order,â you scoff.
âFuck, there was nothing sweet about that, damn!â he grunts, making you laugh.Â
âBut you love it when I put you into your place, donât you?â Grinning you scoot closer, his arm curling around you instantly.
âI do. Only you can do that,â he smiles down at you.
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
#harry#styles#harry styles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles oneshot#harry styles one shot#harry styles fluff#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x reader#harry styles blurb
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first time || n.l.
warnings: smut!
neville and y/n had been dating for about a year at that point, nothing crazy. theyâd shared little kisses and hugs, maybe a tiny make out sesh a couple times. the little bit of tongue, heavy breathing kind that every guy dreamed about having with his crush.
but she wasnât his crush. she was his girlfriend. he loved her. and she loved him. it was simple like that. theyâd never tried anything further than kissing because they didnât need to.
neville tried to be the respectful gentleman y/n deserved, but a nagging problem was starting to arise.
every time they kissed for longer than three seconds, shared a close hug(the kind that had her boobs pressed against his chest), or even if y/n cracked a dirty joke to pull a laugh out from their friends, he had a boner. it was hard to hide and hard to make it go away. neville was a virgin and had no clue what to do.
and then there were the dreams. dreams about his girlfriend. dreams where she was kissing him, touching him, speaking to him in a hushed whisper, neville we have to be quiet. neville weâre gonna be caught. neville do you want me? neville wake up.
and wake up he would. every morning. sometimes heâd wake up to a tent in his pants. other times it would be a sticky mess he had to clean before starting the day.
worst of all was the guilt. godric, the guilt. thinking all of these foul things about someone who had no part in causing it felt criminal. it made him feel gross and pervy. he knew he had to tell you.
âââââââ-
âuh.. y/n?â he forced out. âi..uh. i have to tell you something,â
this was it. the moment she would dump him. poor little neville who had finally gotten a girlfriend was going to be dumped. his heart was racing, palms clammy and shiny with sweat.
y/n followed him into his dorm, taking a seat on the bed like he gestured her to do. she was confused. so confused. was he gonna dump her, did he cheat?
âso what was it you wanted to tell me?â y/n asked, eyes glued to her feet.
âwell,â neville started. âiâve, iâve been having these thoughts. and theyâre gross and about you. and i dunno, i just had to tell you because ikeephavingdirtydreamsaboutyouandimsorry,â
âwhat?â
neville looked at the girl in confusion. like she couldnât have possibly not heard him and he didnât wanna say it again.
âi keep having dirty dreams about you. and im sorry,â he repeated.
a sharp silence overtook the room. she hated him now. she had to. he had confessed his disgusting thoughts to her. he was done for. would she tell a Professor? Snape or McGonagall maybe? would he be expelled for repulsive behavior? or would he just be laughed at by all her friends?
a painful minute of silence rushed through the room, ended only by a sharp cry of laughter. she was laughing! neville didnât know if that was a good or bad thing but he soon joined in and began chuckling himself.
âoh my god,â y/n started. âi canât breathe! i cant, i cant,â
after a good four or five minutes y/n finally looked up from her laughing position and looked at her boyfriend. âthatâs normal, nev,â she said.
âwhat?â neville squeezed out.
âto have dreams like that, itâs normal. iâd be concerned if you didnât have those dreams,â
neville was very confused to say the least. his thoughts were gross⌠and here she was saying itâs okay.
âand like,â neville started, âevery time we like, kiss and stuff, i get a- erm..â
âa what, love?â
neville vaguely gestured to his crotch, hoping sheâd get what he meant.
âohhhhhh. yeah⌠thatâs normal too i think,âshe said. neville was relieved to say the least.
it was nearing dinner time, and y/n had promised to sit with hermione and ginny during the meal. she pecked neville on the cheek and started towards the door. she was almost out when she heard a soft voice call out to her.
ây/n?â
âyeah, baby?â
âcould you⌠maybe stay?â
#harry potter#neville longbottom#neville longbottom x reader#neville longbottom fluff#hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry#neville longbottom fic#neville longbottom imagine#writing#neville longbottom smut
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You Think, You Know | CL16 & CS55
Summary: Some bridges are due to burn, whilst others are destined to mend. Charles wants to lead you into a traditional happily-ever-after, whilst Carlos is still adamant that he can always treat you better. Part 3 of âA House, A Home.â
Word Count: 11.3k
Warnings: angst, shouting, a lot of swearing, mentions of cheating and divorce. SMUT. Non-protected sex, oral (M&F receiving,) squirting, degradation, aftercare always.
Note: Thank you all so, SO much for being so patient with me. I really wanted this to be something special and I hope you all enjoy it. Please don't get mad at me because this one is emotional. A massive thank you to my biggest cheerleaders, @oconso, @formulaforza, @a-distantdreamer & @silverstonesainz - I love you all so much.
PART 1: A House, A Home | PART 2: Where Do We Go? | PART 3: 'You Think, You Know'
You loved your sleep.
There was never too much that could wake you from your slumber. Currently, with the combined sensations of crisp sheets tucked across your frame, soft sunlight drawing through the transparent curtains of the bedroom and snug, strapping arms encircling your waist, it would have to be some form of miracle to awaken you.
The form of this came in the body pressed tightly into your back; smoothly, a pair of lips are drawn to your cheekbone, satin kisses being dropped against your skin. Was it possible to awaken to such a soothing interaction? Your face is drawn to the feeling, turning in his interlocked arms, the side of your face nuzzling into the cushion as your eyes meet the deep, dark pools of his.Â
âGood morning.â Carlos whispers, joyful at your rise from shuteye. He wasnât sure how long heâd been lying there himself, simply basking in the pleasure of holding the girl of his dreams against his firm body. The man was constantly on a lifeline; each time you interacted with him, heâs certain it would be his last, that one day, youâll be violently ripped from his arms and his heart.Â
Suspended in thought, the Spainard is drawn back to reality with the glowing touch of your palm on his skin. Immediately, one of his arms draws away from your waist, resting his own larger hand atop of yours. You look alluring like this; sleep still decorates your eyes, hair tangled from the deep sleep, yet perfect in every sense of the word.Â
âMorning.â You respond, allowing yourself to set your gaze upon his face for a little longer. Itâs a sin, settling in your stomach at how that same face had lifted from between your legâs mere hours ago, the remanence of your arousal ever-present atop his stubble. You were certain he had a mouth crafted by the angels, the way his lips had toyed with your most sensitive parts and the way they currently pulled into an enticing smile in the present.Â
Two bodies, two souls were entwined in that bed; you werenât too sure how long you lay there alongside him, reveling in one anotherâs morning appearances. All you know in that moment is Carlos is overtaking your mind, sprinting through every vein in your body. Every unanswered question from the previous night rendered numb as the man leant forward in your touch, his lips gaining space on your own.Â
Thereâs a sudden, sharp buzz from the other room, causing you both to retract from one another, bodies deep in the king-size mattress. A chuckle leaves his own mouth, running a heavy hand across his face, heart still pounding from the sudden jump of sound in the silent apartment. Something in your heart told you that buzz was for you. Whining from the sudden loss of warmth, you remove yourself from the bundle of blankets and body heat, bare feet padding into his living room, aware of your mobile phone, resting atop of the counter.Â
The device gave a heavy buzz once more before you had the realization to pick it up, the battery barely there. You absent-mindedly call out to the man in the bedroom, asking if he had a phone charger you could borrow for a little while. There's clutter from the other room, clearly trying to find a space for your own phone. Whilst that incurred, your eyes flickered across the darkening screen, skin turning cold upon reading the text notifications.Â
02:51: Charles Leclerc
Iâm in love with you.
02:53: Charles Leclerc
Iâm so sorry she was there â I had no idea. Sheâs gone now, can I come and collect you? Where are you?
03:25: Charles Leclerc
Please let me know youâre safe as soon as you can. Can I come and see you in the morning, please?
08:47: Charles Leclerc
Good morning, my love. How are you feeling today?
Guilt washed through your stomach, not for the interaction you had shared with Carlos; Charles had done substantially worse to you for the past twelve months. No, you knew what it felt like to have no response from somebody you cared for, terrified for their well-being. Even when Charles hadnât cared for you, you had still nursed him, waiting up for his return in the early hours of the morning.Â
With the remainder of your phone battery, fingers fly over the keyboard. Did you want your husband to come and collect you, specifically from his teammates home? He was aware of your building friendship with the Spainard, even if it wasnât entirely platonic. There wasnât a huge choice; you especially didnât want to demand or pry a lift off Carlos, especially after he had come to collect you so late the previous night.Â
08:58: You
Good morning, Iâm at Carlosâ place. Iâd really appreciate a lift back to the house, if thatâs okay.Â
The message barely had time to send before itâs marked as âreadâ. Immediately, the blue speech bubble pops to the lower corner of your phone, signaling a response was being formed.
09:00: Charles Leclerc
You donât need to even ask. Iâll be there in fifteen minutes.Â
Fifteen minutes was not enough time to conceal everything which had happened in the previous hours. Feet now cold, legs now littered in goosebumps, youâd scrambled back into his bedroom, the man now on his own feet, those damn gray jogging bottoms hanging on his hips, a visible outline ever-present. It took your entire soul to remain strong, knowing how tempting this man could become in a matter of moments.Â
âCharles is on the way.â You state, suspecting that it would cease all his movements, and allow yourself to get ready for your husbandâs arrival. Instead, heâd stepped closer to your frame, leaning his toned torso towards you, locking you in his muscled arms, hiding his face in the skin heâd licked and bitten across the previous night. His mumbles are incoherent, littering across your neck in broken Spanish. Heâs saying something. Something you canât understand but is undeniably a plea for you to stay in his arms.Â
Carlos stays pretty much attached to you the entire time youâre preparing for your departure; his body is pressed against yours, littering kisses to the crown of your head whilst you brush your teeth. His scent is so dominating on the hoodie he insists you borrow, slipping that atop of your frame whilst pulling on the bottoms you had wiggled out of the previous evening. The manâs heart explodes upon seeing you bundled into his clothing, a possessive streak striking through his body and soul.Â
When your bag is packed, face washed and phone charging, now on the counter of his kitchen, you spend the last few minutes waiting for your husbandâs adamant arrival by bundling into Carlosâ side on his plush sofa. It feels entirely natural by this point; his arms encircle your waist, letting you lie against his sternum, soothing yourself to his naturally steady heartbeat. A snippet of your heart desires to take this sole moment and capture it for a lifetime. Safe. Warm. Happy.Â
The moment is wafted away from you both with the sudden rapping of knuckles on the front door. Whining, your eyes trail on the Spaniard, focused as he presses a final, fleeting kiss to your temple, pulls himself up from the couch and paces towards the hallway. Your own ears strain to hear the latch lift of the front door, Charles praises for looking after you the previous evening falling over his lips, two pairs of footsteps drawing into the front room.Â
Your husband, despite his usual god-like appearance, looked terrible. His hair pushed to the front, clearly in need of a wash and brush. His skin was rubbed raw, face bloodshot; clearly, he hadnât got a single moment of sleep the previous night, still dressed in the clothes heâd traveled home in the previous night. Despite the heavy lids of his eyes, they still light up when falling onto you.Â
âGood morning.â He gives you a smile, only you. You can feel Carlosâ disappointment, even if you canât see his eyesight at that moment. A pocket-sized smile from your own lips is offered in return, pulling yourself up in that moment, reaching for your bag which remained on the floor, slipping into your soft sneakers.
âAre you ready?â Youâd asked softly. Charlesâ mouth opened, hesitating before he spoke. He was thinking clearly.Â
âI just need to speak to Carlos quickly. SomethingâŚprivate.â He tries to explain his standings, tries to make you feel less awkward as he reaches for the car keys resting in his hoodie pocket. âAre you okay to wait in the car?â He asks softly. He feels in no power to demand your movements, yet he requires one private word with his teammate.Â
Your eyes donât bother to meet Charles, instead immediately flying to meet the dark ones of your unofficial lover. What on godâs earth was your husband about to ask, and why did he want to do it out of your earshot? The look that you give the man says a thousand words, asking if he needs you to stay, hold your ground against Charles. The warm eyes of him give everything you need, silently promising he could handle this man. An entire conversation through looks alone, a skill the two of you had developed so naturally.Â
Silently, you take the keys from Charlesâ outstretched hand, skin flinching when being pressed against the cool metal. You donât so much as glance in his direction when youâre walking to the counter, picking up your phone and stuffing it into the pouch of your borrowed hoodie. When turning on your heel, you pace back to Carlos, pressing a surprising kiss to his right cheek, murmuring a âThank You,â just for his hospitality, of course. You had done all the thanking for the number of orgasms you were granted the previous night.Â
The walk towards your husbandâs car, the SUV rather than his identifiable Pista, your mind clouded, clotted with an array of questions. Why did Charles need to speak to Carlos alone? Was he aware of the relationship the two had been sharing for an undefinable amount of time? Who on earth was the blonde woman giving you a death stare as she walked up the pathway to the complex, red lips practically hissing at your appearance, storming past you within half a second?
When you turn back to take in her appearance from behind, a sense of sickness settles into your stomach. Youâd seen the back of that blonde head before; not in person, but rather on a phone screen. Your phone screen, held between white knuckles as youâd watched the man you had begun to fall for wrap his arms around another woman's lips meshed in a private nightclub, unaware of the multiple cameras capturing their searing moment.Â
That was the same woman, identical in her mannerisms. You felt your tummy curdle into pain, into your vague realization that the only reason Carlos had offered you a place in his home, and subsequently his bed that evening, was because he was trying to fill a void until she returned to the scene. Your stomach wanted nothing more than to empty its remaining content in sheer shock. Instead, you breathe deeply, unlocking the door to the car, climbing into the passenger seat and closing your eyes, relaxing into the plush leather of the upholstery.Â
Youâre not sure how long your husband takes, eyes growing heavy as you await his return. Itâs only realized when the driverâs door clicks open, rolling in your seat to watch as Charles climbs into his own, a frown resting at the bottom of his face. However, itâs immediately vanquished when his eyes latch onto your own, grinning at your presence, so close to him. A warm hand reaches out, brushing over the back of your head, sheerly enjoying the comfort you radiated. He'd been lost without you for the past twelve hours.Â
Your eyes begin to feel heavy again, though youâre determined to get through the car ride alert, even if the soft scent of his cologne and the gentle lulling tunes from the morning radio are drawing you back to your previous state. Instead, you think of that woman. No, not the mistress you had grown numb to; the blonde woman, the one pressed against Carlosâ chest and lips mere hours after you had been. The glint in your husbandâs eye is telling as you go through your endless thoughts, he knows something.Â
âThe blonde lady going into Carlosâ apartment.â Your voice is completely out of pocket, echoing through the front of the SUV. âWho was she?â Thereâs no beating around with the question you had asked; thereâs no trying to sugar coat what you needed to know. Charles knows it, too. He knows he canât hide the truth from you, youâre too smart for lies and manipulation, a year married with a mistress had taught him that.
Instead, he emits a deep sigh from his lips, knuckles tightening on the steering wheel as he focuses on the road. âNatasha.â The name falls from his lips, he canât meet your gaze, not when speaking about another woman to his wife. âShe used to work for Ferrariâs PR but left just under a year ago. Carlos and her used to-âÂ
âDate?â Youâd cut him off without realizing, eyes widening when heâd shaken his head.Â
âNo, not date.â He responds. âThey just hadâŚa thing. Something.â He finished his train of thought, still not mentally ready to turn to you. In a comforting way, you were glad he hadnât; Charles was unable to see the tears pooling at your lower lash line, the desire to rip off the hoodie now suffocating your body. You learnt in your heart that moment, you were apparently nothing special to Carlos. No, he had a thing. Something, with any woman who passed his way was as a wandering fancy.Â
The tears decorating your eyes and desire to relax into the leather seat eventually overpowers your emotionally drained body, pulling you back into a slumber.Â
You loved the sound of music.
A faint tune, one you were certain youâd never heard before lured through your ears, drawing you back to consciousness. You couldnât remember getting home, let alone getting out of the car and tucking yourself into the comfort of your own bed. Groaning, youâd sat yourself up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and stretching the twinge in your back simultaneously.Â
The music wasnât coming from your room; the sound was beautiful, you just needed to locate its source. Your feet twinge when they touch the floor, cool floorboards easing the temperature of your socks. Opening the ajar door to your bedroom, the music grows louder, sound clearly emitting from downstairs, your feet carry you to the staircase with no hesitation. However, when reaching the top of the staircase, eyebrows crease together in confusion, taking in your once-ragged appearance in the crystal mirror.Â
Your hair had been braided, albeit not elegantly, but at least out of your face, something you did almost religiously before sleeping. Your attire had changed, too, once you were dressed in Carlosâ sage hoodie. Now, your body was engulfed by Charlesâ charcoal jumper, sleeves too long but an entire comfort for your drained mind. Is this what it felt like, to be nurtured and cared for by your husband? The pit of your stomach felt airy; this had been everything you desired for so long. And yet, now you had experienced somebody else, despite the heartbreak, your mind was utterly torn.Â
Music grows louder, your mind is suddenly focused back on its original target. With no hesitation now, you began to walk down the flight of stairs, noting your bag and phone resting by the front door. Even with as many notifications as youâd missed in your time asleep, priorities overtook, making your way towards the lounge, eyes transfixed on the figure by the French windows.
Charles Leclerc sat, comfortably and quietly, gentle fingers dancing over the keys of his piano. The soft lights of the room illuminated the figure, a tune you had never heard was fluttering around the open space.Â
Of course, you had heard him play the instrument multiple times; during his time spent at the house rather than on the track, he remained transfixed, creating new songs, finding some way to pour every emotion into some kind of melody. Youâd lost track of the times youâd come downstairs to get a drink, put the washing into the machine and had instead pushed your body into the doorframe, eyes fixed upon your husband as he created the most beautiful sounds.Â
The last time youâd done that, his mistress had been present, leaving over the piano as Charles played her an elegant tune. When she had gone to lean over him, her own fingers wanting to press down against the keys, heâd rested a firm hand on her arm, insisting that she sit on the sofa and listen, instead. The sweet moments of silently viewing your husband had turned sour; youâd silently vowed that day you would never enter the room when he was playing again.
Youâd broken that promise mere seconds ago, eyes transfixed upon your husband. You can feel the tension beneath his fingers, as if heâs trying to take the sheer thoughts of everything that had been embedded into his mind in the past twenty-four hours and mesh them into some kind of audible release. Underneath the layers of music, your footsteps canât be heard as you hesitantly walk towards the end of the living space. His tune reaches a climax, but before the piano can take any more notes, you cough lightly, Charlesâ hands ceasing in mid-air. Arching his body weight, he sees your frame standing next to his piano, eyes still sleepy from awakening mere moments ago. The breath catches in the back of his throat; did you always look so perfect in his soft jumpers?
âIâm sorry.â He eventually offers, taking in your sweet, soft appearance. âDid I wake you?âÂ
âNo, no.â The reply tumbles from your lips before you even realize. âIt wasâŚbeautiful, actually. Is it a new piece?â You ask, entranced by the music which had been flowing freely.
âIâm not sure yet.â He canât help but smile at the end of his sentence. âI just sort of started playing and this is what came of it.â The explanation is valid; like many creatives, sometimes a free flow form was the simplest way to go. His next movement is almost a shock to your system. âWhy donât you come and help me?â The offer is completed when he shuffles up on the piano stool, patting on hand on the available gap. Thereâs hesitation in your movement, before his hand trails upwards, leaning to clasp one of your own, guiding you towards the stool.Â
Thereâs an overpowering smell of his cologne, a scent you were slowly drawing yourself towards. The body heat from his frame radiates into your own. Shyly, you reach out, pressing down on one of the piano keys, a tone spouting from the instrument. Charles canât help but smile upon your interaction, eyes questioning as you analyze the instrument.
âDo you know how to play?â He asks gingerly, watching as you shake your head in response. His actions exchange, resting one of his warm palms over your own. The next moments are filled with your husband guiding your hands over the piano, teaching you the tune to old nursery rhymes. When you reach the end of the piece, he cheers in delight at the achievement.Â
âPlay me something now.â You ask carefully, head becoming heavy, heavy enough to rest on your husbandâs shoulder. When you feel his body tense, you immediately sit back up, convinced youâve overstepped a line. That thought is soon relinquished when Charlesâ hand flies out, wrapping around the back of your head and pulling you back down to his shoulder, your breath hot on his neck, itâs enough for him, hesitant to overstep the boundaries you were adamant upon currently.Â
His fingers move back, continuing the song he had been conducting earlier. The piece had started out slowly, almost sad-like, before building, building towards a romantic counterpart. In his mind, it was the perfect song to punctuate the relationship he maintained with his wife. They both sat there, barely any moment as the music was the only sound present in their house.Â
When the song finishes, neither of you move, relishing in the soft touch youâre both sharing. Charlesâ own head falls atop of your own, letting his cheek rest against your hair. Thereâs no form of time between you both, simply enjoying being alive, alive with one another. Itâs interrupted when you feel Charlesâ take an exaggerated breath, removing his keys from the piano. One of his hands rests upon his side, the other slides between the minute gap between you both, wrapping a toned arm around your waist. The movement causes you to lift yourself from his firm shoulder, catching those beautiful eyes from your glance.Â
âIâm traveling to Monaco tomorrow.â He says it so casually, as if itâs as normal as entering or leaving the building. You can feel his heart race in anticipation of what he was due to say, his body temperature raising dramatically, radiating through his hoodie. You offer him a warming smile. You really didnât want him to leave, not when you were growing so unnaturally fond of his presence.Â
âOh really, what for?â Is the eventual reply. In this moment, you simply canât hold his eye contact, heâs staring into your soul, itâs as if he can sense every thought which is currently trekking through your mind; does he know how much of a hold he has on you, even if your marriage was entirely staged, at least in his eyes.Â
âIâm off to see my motherâ He clarifies. âItâs been a while and I just want to check in.â Itâs a lie. You can tell from the way his body language changes; his hands are suddenly clenching tighter, his grip on your waist firm as if heâs terrified, youâll run away. He canât admit it, heâs not strong enough. If you step away, he will fall back to the way he was the previous night; eyes bloodshot, unable to sleep unless he knows youâre safe.Â
âGive her my best.â The response is blunt, short. Youâre on entirely different wavelengths, different planets. He never told you of his reasoning for things; a golden rule you had learnt at the beginning of this era. JustâŚyouâd never question him; you would simply co-exist. What he says next makes your blood run cold.Â
âWhy donât you come with me? Iâd really appreciate it.â Why on earth would your estranged husband want you to come on his travels, presumably when the entire point was to spend the entirety of it wrapped in the arms of another woman. Yet, a feeling in your stomach settled. Did you actually want to spend hours in this empty house alone? Now that Carlos was no longer a welcome distraction, anything would be better than wallowing in your silence.Â
âI will.â You eventually respond. âOn one condition.â
âAnything.â His eyes are wide, so willing. Heâd scooted tighter towards you, as if he could hold together this entire conversation, stopping the whole world from crumbling around you. You must be the one to take a deep breath this time. You had to remain firm with your choices, with what you needed to know.Â
âWhat was in the white envelope that your mistress gave you yesterday?â
You loved the glow of candlelight.Â
Having never entered Charlesâ study, his fingers interlocked with your own as he guided you through the heavy door, you didnât realize how many candles he had resting around his office. They laid upon his windowsill, on his desk, he even had a mulberry-scented candle resting next to his racing simulator.Â
There was only one candle which was lit, he had obviously forgotten to extinguish it whilst you were deep in your slumber. Despite the fact you hadnât ever been given access to this room, youâd have to make a mental note in order to check for any fire hazards the next time you were in the building alone.Â
The envelope resting upon the desk stuck out like a sore thumb; his computer, stationary, it was all a cool gray tone whereas the envelope stuck out in a bright white glow.Â
âI need you to know before you look at this, itâs a lot worse than it comes across.â Even in the candlelight, his face had turned pale, barely able to keep his fear from dancing across his emotions. You need to remain strong. You need to see what was left in the envelope.Â
Staying firm, your grasp reaches out towards the desk, taking the card into your own hands. âI want to see it.â You clarified, letting your finger trace under the flap of the envelope.
You donât let your husbandâs words overpower you, distract you in any way. Instead, your hand reaches into the envelope and grasps around a stack ofâŚsomething. It feels like multiple pieces of paper pressed together, though one side remains glossy, as if printed onto a special sheet. Hesitantly, your hand pulls from the envelope, eyes immediately widening upon seeing the content in question.
It's photographs. Multiple photographs of Charles and his mistress. Some of them are casual, taken from her phone, smiling selfies and dinner dates. Others areâŚcompromising, verging on pornographic. You can feel the lump in your throat tightening, tears are forming on your lower lash line, but you must keep strong. You cannot show any weakness when you ask to see this. Â
âThatâs her, isnât it?â Your voice betrays you, weakening as your words continue. âYourâŚgirlfriend.â You donât want to use the other word; itâs clear from these photographs it was more than sex, it was more than just an escapade.Â
âSheâs- sheâs not anymore.â Charles pauses, his eyes donât focus on the photographs, only on you. His wife, who he has hurt so badly and now must see the pain littered across her face. âShe hasnât been since your mother passed away.â
Your heart stops at the mention of your mother, a sharp spike of longing for the woman suddenly danced through your chest. Then, you were angry. How dare he pity you, you didnât want it, not from him. ButâŚyou still wanted him. Heâd clouded your emotions, nothing was black-and-white with your husband, just a cacophony of colors.Â
âThat was your reason for dumping her. Sympathy?â You donât care how harsh your voice comes across, instead just aggravated you were growing to care about his reasoning. Life had been simpler weeks ago, when you simply stayed at home, minding your own business whilst he got on with his. By the look on Charlesâ face, he wasnât expecting the hostility, either.Â
âNo! I dumped her because it was wrong, because I have a loving wife who I would give anything for.â The room goes silent, giving you time to process the words that had come from his lips. You had been so certain for so long that he didnât care about you; that everything he did was for his own gain and pleasure. YetâŚhe had given up his mistress for you. Heâd given up something that made him happy because you were not.Â
Stressing, you run a hand through your hair, placing the photographs back into the envelope, speaking to your husband as you place the card back onto his desk. You feel sick. These photographs exist and it was a perfect way to destroy the two of you, it was perfect ammunition to a metaphorical pistol. âSo, what does she want you to do with these photographs?â
âNothing.â Charles leans over your own body, reaching for a second stack of papers resting upon the desk, one you had considered would simply be notes from Scuderia Ferrari. Warm seeps through your body at his close contact, one hand almost trailing against your back as he grasps to the stack of crisp sheets, barely touched. âSheâs threatened to publish them if I donât signâŚthis.âÂ
You took the stack of ivory papers into your palms. It was sprawled with a size twelve font, you were uncertain of where to begin until two words in bold took your attention, printed formally across the top of the page.Â
âDivorce Papers.â Your voice is barely a whisper, heart dropping to your stomach.Â
âThatâs the other reason Iâm going to Monaco.â Heâs explaining his own status now, eyes glassy with the fear of you walking straight out of the office. He wouldnât blame you, of course. He couldnât blame you for anything anymore. Charles reaches out to your grasp, wiggling the paper from your fingers and placing them back against the desk. âIâm filing for a lawsuit against her, a restraining order for manipulation and stalking.âÂ
A scoff falls from your lips; the mere contrast of the events from a few weeks ago compared to now. He truly intended to file a lawsuit against a woman who heâd happily let warm his bed whilst you went to bed each night with nothing but regret and bloodshot eyes. âDo youâŚdo you want a divorce?â You can feel your voice cracking. âI mean, if sheâs sent you these, you must have mentioned wanting one-â
âI did.â Charles doesnât miss a beat. âI mentioned how I didnât want a divorce because despite everythingâŚI do care for you.â The room goes silent, not even the flickering of the candle or the soft wind from the French windows can pierce the tone of the room.Â
A huff escapes your lips, arms resting by your side as you formulate a response; âYou had a really weird way of showing it.â Your response is blunt, it clearly warrants the sad look on your husbandâs face.Â
âI know. Thatâs why Iâm going to make it right. Please come to Monaco with me. She wonât be there; you donât have to come to the lawyer with me. ButâŚI need to be able to come back to my wife.â His hand reaches out, cradling your own in this moment. Gently, he lifts your palm to his cheek, resting it upon his stubble and letting his lips trace a kiss across the soft skin.Â
He truly does know how to make your heart flutter, despite everything.Â
âOkay.â You eventually respond, focused on his gaze when his eyes turn wide in anticipation.Â
âYeah?â His heart is picking up in happiness, reaching to hold you in his own grasp, but instead falling short when you raise a finger, ceasing his movements towards your body.Â
âButâŚyou need to give me tonight, alone. To process that.â Gently, you take a step forward, leaning gently towards him. You canât leave him, not before you gently press a kiss to his cheek, turning on your heel, your figure illuminated in the corridor by the soft candlelight. âGoodnight, Charles.â
âGoodnight, beautiful.âÂ
You loved the feeling of warm water.
There is only a slender picking of moments in your life where you have felt truly relaxed; sitting by the lake in the rolling fields your family had owned for generations, lounging in the bed of the Madrid-Based apartment your friends had hired for a holiday in the early spring morning.Â
You had never thought one of those relaxing moments would be as your mother-in-law massaged her hands through your locks, lathering an expensive shampoo into the roots of your hair. She was gentle; no tangles fell through her fingers as her rhythm stayed perfectly relaxing, hitting all the spots which would send a flood of relief through your scalp.Â
Youâd arrived in Monaco early that morning, immediately being transported to the luxurious hotel your husband had booked you into. Most of the trips heâd book you wouldnât attend, and when you did would be ignored by him altogether. This time, heâd remained present, willing. Your hands had entwined the moment you had left the privacy of the jet, nestling into the back of the car, eyes heavy from the early rise.
Not much is remembered after youâd arrived outside the opulent building; bags were removed and transported to your room by the bellhop, both you and your husband were given hotel cards, an older lady at the desk explaining the functions dotted around the high-end establishment. All you could remember was the door to the room opening, your tired body making a beeline towards the emperor bed, nuzzling into the soft furnishings with sleep overtaking you in a matter of moments.Â
Charles hadnât been able to help the tug on his heartstrings as heâd seen you tumble into the mattress. Youâd been so thoughtful; dropping everything back at your house and accompanying him to Monaco, promising to be there for him as he promised to fix the wounds from his previous mistakes. Heâd give anything to crawl into the bed alongside you, wrap his frame around your own and fall back into his own slumber, one he had despised the night before simply because he wasnât able to hold you in his arms. He was learning to respect your wishes; after all, he had a lot of repairing to do-so. Even after recent conversations with his Ferrari counterpart, he could never bring himself to hate you.Â
His phone buzzes from his back pocket and upon inspection he sees the reminder, heâs due with his lawyer in less than forty-five minutes, but he doesnât want to leave you, not alone. A thought sparks into his head, fingers flying through his contacts and dropping a message to one, asking if they could take you over to his motherâs salon later in the afternoon. By the time heâs returned from changing in the en-suite and brushing a comb through his hair, the responses from both Joris and his mother had lit up his screen, confirming his plans for later in the afternoon.Â
Your husband had allowed himself one more look at you, so peaceful wrapped up in the comfort of the bed. Silently, he leans over your frame, running a gentle hand across the back of your head, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your forehead, murmuring his sweet words to your sleeping form.
When youâd awoken, there was a message clarifying that Joris would be taking you to his motherâs salon a little later and he would come to collect you once he was finished with his lawyer. Thatâs how you had ended up walking into her salon earlier that afternoon, her delighted smile present after seeing her daughter-in-law.
Pascale wasnât stupid, that much was clear. She was aware of the strain in her middle sonâs marriage, just not to the extent that he had been toying with a mistress for the better part of a year. However, she had grown to adore you; your mannerisms, laughter and the fact that you clearly held a candle for Charles, despite the dwindling flame of the marriage. If she had a daughter, sheâd want her to be just like you.Â
âAre you and Charles up to anything this evening?â Her voice is gentle, motioning for you to stand up from the basin chair and walk towards the mirrors, resting yourself in one of the seats. Your reflection bores back into you, focused as Pascale adjusts your head slightly, brushing the tendrils of hair through her comb.Â
âIâm not sure.â You respond. âI know he has some business this morning.â Itâs an understatement. When Joris had collected you from the hotel, heâd tried to give you what information he could â Charles had arrived at his Lawyerâs office, ready to file the case against his mistress. He wasnât too sure how long it was going to take, though he had told Joris to be on hand for anything you needed when he couldnât.Â
âYou make him happy; you know?â Pascale mentions, tilting your head to angle your hair correctly. âI know he hasnât always beenâŚthe greatest.â Youâre not sure if sheâs aware of everything, but her tone seems to stand where you need it to do so, âbut you makeâŚsuch an impact in his life.âÂ
Not much else is said whilst the woman continues to trim your hair, adjusting your face as she does so. It was nice, not to be cooped up into a hotel room for the entirety of the day, nor to be sitting in Charlesâ driver room whilst he walked around, finger entwined with his mistress. Youâre so engrossed in Pascale drying your hair, setting the locks into soft rollers that you donât realize when the door chimes open, another figure entering the quiet salon. The womanâs eyes brighten, and you hear her cooing before your own face turns, taking in the figure of your husband in the doorway.Â
Charles looks breath-taking. Heâd clearly showered and changed since you had last seen him bundled in his travel gear that morning. Your deduction would be correct; the man had hastily returned to the hotel to jump into the shower, changing into a power blue shirt and white trousers. His hair, free of styling products curled in an unruly way, one that made his whole face structure elevate.Â
In his hands, he held both a soft white dress over his arm, one you had packed in your case fleetingly the evening before; it had been steamed and washed, the fabric clear and petticoats of the skirt floating gently. In his other hand, a vibrant bouquet of roses. His smile never faded, walking over to his mother and pressing a kiss to each of his motherâs cheeks. Once his attention turns towards you, his eyes only brighten.Â
âHello, beautiful.â You canât tell whether heâs playing up the affection in front of his mother, or whether itâs genuine. However, when one hand comes to rest on your cheek, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. Heâs being respectful; making sure not to cross a boundary.Â
âHello, handsome.â The response falls from your lips without realizing, the grin on your husband's face only rising. Fuck. Did you mean to say that? Regardless, you had done, and by the look on his face he not only didnât expect it but had instantly grown to love it. Charles had completely forgone the flowers in his grasp, only remembering them after your eyes had darted down towards his palms.Â
âOh-â His mind finally catches up with the present situation, raising his hand to present you with the flowers. Theyâre colors are soft, delicate, as if etched by crayon. You canât help but smile at the gesture, even if it was entirely a false pretense in front of his mother. You canât see her face, but you know sheâs smiling, seeing her son present to his wife in such a sweet manner. Now, your gaze isnât fixed against the flowers in your grasp, but the dress from your suitcase.
âSomething tells me that wonât fit you, Charles.â You tease the garment laying over his forearm, only to cause a smile to appear on his lips again.Â
âI want to take you out for the afternoon. If thatâs okay with you.â His voice is low now, hoping to avoid any prying of the conversation from his mother, though her attention was now turned to locating the hair dryer, still needing to complete your own treatment. âWould that beâŚokay?â Heâs nervous. Fearful that after everything, you could now reject him and feel no remorse.
Youâre not a cruel person, it has never been in your nature. Instead, you match his own smile, nodding as you take the garment from his grasp, Charlesâ eyes widening in confirmation.Â
âTrust you to pick out my favorite dress, too.â You mumbled.Â
You loved the sound of the ocean.Â
You loved everything about the sea, truly. The reflections from the moonlight caused shards to reflect over Charlesâ boat; the new yacht had barely had time to stretch the waters, though it seemed to float as if it had been nurtured its entire existence.Â
The afternoon of a late lunch had expanded into expensive, late-night wine on the boat as your husband had guided you into deeper waters. He knew what he was doing, after all; the waters of Monaco were a comfort to him, a lifetime had stretched out from jumping into the ocean as a child to yacht parties during the Grand Prix.Â
Youâd seemed entirely at home, and it made his heart warm. Charles wasnât a stupid man; he saw how you kept yourself small, your setup at the house barely spanning over two rooms. Heâd wanted nothing more than to break the walls you had put up for oh-so-long and entwine your lives together.
Then he would reprimand himself, remind himself he was the sole reason those walls existed.Â
Conversation had spanned naturally into the events of the day; you thanked him for thinking of you, heâd responded with a mention of you deserving that form of treatment every single day. Your mind canât take the anticipation; when your lips lift from the glass of wine, you canât help but ask what his lawyer had recommended about his mistress. Your husbandâs grin had fallen a little, running a hand through his dark curls.Â
âItâs a difficult one.â He explains. âThereâs enough there for a case, considering we havenât had contact in a while. ButâŚâ He doesnât need to finish his sentence; you do for him.Â
âThe photographs are counted as evidence.â You finish, and he can only nod. Heâs created such a mess, something he could never forgive himself for doing so. A web of lies and mistreatment surrounded you both; he so wanted to break each thread and simply cradle you, be in a bubble for the rest of eternity.Â
Heâs expecting you to stay silent, then. Maybe thatâs where the evening should have ended, with silence upon the realization that this case will not be easily solved. Instead, you place the glass of wine down on the ledge of the stairs, easing his own glass from his grasp. Charles is confused, even more so when you walk back towards him, wrapping your arms to close around his neck.Â
âWhat are you doing?â He whispers. His hands raise hesitantly, as if touching you would break you into a million pieces. His grasp only falls to your waist when you press closer towards the man, resting your gaze on his own eyes. Heâs hurt you, broken you to such an extent, and yet you canât help but draw closer to his touch, to his eyes.Â
âBeing your wife.â You respond, before pressing your lips to his own. This is the first time, the first time in so long that you had been the one to initiate a kiss. Naturally, Charlesâ hands wrap tighter around your waist, pulling you into his chest, deepening your touch, your kiss. This. This is the moment he wishes to bottle forever, to live in the comfort of his wifeâs touch, no outside means, no other commitments being hung over his head.Â
Youâre not sure how long you both stand there, wrapped in one another, hands fleeting over each other, desperate to find some touch, some form of skin. It isnât until your fingers reach to unbutton the top of his powder-blue shirt, that his own come to rest atop of yours. He knows heâs made a mistake when he sees the look you shoot him, immediately assuming the worst.Â
âNo, no.â He promises, both hands flying from where they had grasped yours, cradling each side of your face. It feelsâŚwarm. It feels so similar to the way Carlos had cradled your head once, when you were both on a boat, much like this. You think of those dark eyes, the whispers drawn into your ear as he had sharply thrusted into you that evening. Then, you think of the blonde appearing outside his apartment mere hours after you had been tangled in his arms.Â
âI want to.â Charlesâ words draw you from your endless train of thoughts. âSweetheart, I want to more than anything, but I need you to know how much it means-â
You donât let him finish; instead, you press your mouths back together, forcefully. There are whispers from your own lips, pleading that he take you, that you want nothing more than to feel your bodies atop of one another.Â
And who is he to deny his wife?Â
Youâre not sure when he scoops you up into his arms, guides you inside of the boat and to the soft bed that had been freshly made mere hours ago, but he never lets your lips leave one another for less than a moment.
Heâs everywhere; heâs pressing into you in the most delicious way, heâs drawing your body of the most intense sounds, and then youâre coming, harder than you ever thought was possible, it hits you in the most delicious way.Â
Your fingernails pressed crescents into his skin as he continued to push into you with that perfect rhythm. Feeling your hot breath dance against the shell of his neck, the sweet whimpers of your overstimulated orgasm falling from your lips. Charles feels you clench around him, dragging you into him deeper, and it's all over.
His head immediately falls into the joint of your neck and shoulder, his pants getting heavier, thrusts rougher as he chases his own release. Teeth escape from his lips, biting down atop of the red marks he'd left earlier in a passion; the gasp you let-out, the roll of your hips against his own pushes him over the edge, a moan falling out from his own lips, hands flying to grip at your forearms pinned above him. You can feel every inch of him buried inside of you, warmth spilling into you.
Heavy hips press into yours, your thighs still pressed around his waist when he lifts his head from the warmth of your skin, pressing one final deep kiss to your lips, a profanity of words escaping from his mouth.
He kisses you again. And again. He keeps doing it whilst slowly rocking his hips, still jittering from his own orgasm. Senses come through, those eyes you had been entranced in so many times fixing to your own, drinking you in, looking so beautiful underneath his own frame.
"You still want somebody else?" The teasing is natural, almost, inflicting you to roll your eyes and playfully push his arm. God, your laugh is the most adoring sound in the world to him, it had been so long since he'd heard it, even then, it had never been due to his own actions until recently. The adorned look in his eye is soon replace with confusion when he feels you wiggle underneath him, soft blankets rubbing against your back.
"Are you going somewhere?" He questions, one hand coming up to trace against your jawline. You want to lean into his touch, it's something you'd been attracted to recently, though the mess between your legs and sweat trailing down your skin seemed to tell you something different.
"I need to clean up." You whine, pressing your body into the plush mattress. "I'm all gooey, Charles."
"I've got it." He murmurs, pressing one soft kiss to your cheek, another to your neck. You expect the weight from above to release you, but the warmth radiating from his body remains. You feel lips trace against your chest, his untamed curls tickle your stomach as he traces down a direct line.
"What are you doi-" You never get to finish you question, the fourth word cut off with a soft gasp, those lips which had pressed to yours, now pressing down against your clit, a soft praise towards your body whilst his tongue traced around the sensitive bud, drawing a slice through your wet lips, pressing deeper and deeper into your entrance.
The room is illuminated with your whines, hips bucking against his stubble as he fulfills his promise of cleaning you up.
You loved the feeling of being held.
Youâd been unfathomably happy to walk into the paddock that evening, fingers interlaced with Charlesâ as he guided the two of you through the fans and photographers alike, buzzing to be starting on Pole Position when his wife would be watching in awe of his achievement.Â
You hadnât been there on qualifying day; you were still trying to keep your distance where you could, to prove to your husband he couldnât instantly win you back overnight. It had only been when heâd come into the en-suite of your room the evening before, hands wrapped around your waist as he pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, pleading you came to watch him race the following night.
âIâll win.â He promises, voice quiet as he rests his chin on your shoulder. âIâll win it for you.âÂ
His sweet words had not only lured you to the race track the following day but had also drawn you to sleep in his bed that evening, curled up into his toned chest as he murmured words of appreciation in French; only a few you were able to pick up and understand the meaning of as you drifted into a comfortable sleep, arms cradling your body underneath the bed sheets.
There was a collective, loving aura that evening when the two of you had stepped into his garage, the team in awe of seeing that their Prince of Monaco and his beloved Princess had been reunited, here to support one another. However, one figure remained quiet, eyes transfixed on your every movement. He felt his knuckles turn white when Charles had changed into his race suit, placing his cap atop of your own head and had lovingly pressed two kisses to either of your cheeks.
Carlos Sainz was a jealous man; heâd been infuriated when his blonde fling had appeared on his doorstep, instantly realizing the kind of man he must have been made out to be when youâd seen her appear on your departure. Heâd hoped and prayed you hadnât seen her, but from the radio silence he received over messages and calls, to the way you had purposely avoided speaking to him when arriving in the paddock, he could tell you were not that naive.
Emotions had played a heavy part on both of the Ferrari Pilots during the start of the race. One, determined to keep his promise and win whilst his wife was present. The other was so clouded with sadness and rage that all he wanted to do was push his counterpart off the track. The lights snapped off, 20 engines revving in unison as the cars blitzed down the first straight.Â
It doesnât take long for emotion to overcome; Charlesâ P6 soon creeps towards a P3, whilst Carlos begins to drop. A violent turn into Oscar Piastri not only takes the young rookie out of the race, but the Ferrari driver, too. Nobody misses the swears as he switches the engine off, nor the scowl on his face as he removes the steering wheel, ready to be escorted back to the garage.Â
When the blur of red comes through the paddock, you canât help but feel guilty, telling yourself that if you had spoken to him, he would have been able to keep a cool head. Silently, you slip the headphones from your temple, murmuring about going to the bathroom before taking a direct beeline towards Carlosâ room, catching the door just before itâs due to slam closed.Â
He was seething. Pure rage flicked across his eyes; the warm smile reserved for you replaced with a harsh scowl. This may have been a mistake.Â
âWhat do you want?â His words are venom, spit towards you. He cannot stand to see you right now.
âI just-âYou pause, clearing your throat. âI wanted to check if you were okay.â Itâs a pathetic answer, really. One that didnât sit right in your mouth, even after you had spoken.Â
âIâm alright?â He scoffs, shaking his head. âYou ignore my calls, go away and fuck that pathetic man and then come back to me?â Heâs pissed, undoubtedly so. âYou whore. I understand it all now.â He shakes his head, missing the fire which had begun to burn in your own stomach.Â
âYou have no right!â Youâd shrieked so loudly youâd startled yourself; one finger was still pointed into his infuriated face, your finger mere millimeters from the bridge of his nose. Hot air engulfed both of your bodies, the only sound present was the deep and heavy breathing flaring from your nostrils.Â
Without a thought, Carlos had slapped your finger away from his face, lunging forward dramatically to seize your face into his rough palms. His lips are on yours, roughly seeking the wet trace of your tongue. You canât fight him; not when his lips feel so flawless against your own. A rough palm encases the back of your neck, the other wrapping around your waist as he holds your frame tighter against his own.Â
Your breath barely had a moment to catch when he forcefully pulled his lips from you, emitting a white from your breath. That innocent sound is soon replaced by a sharp gasp, his fingers tightening against your scalp, pulling on your locks.Â
âDonât fucking whine.â He spits, ghosting his lips over your own, never letting them touch yours. Warm breath tickles the shell of your ear when his grip pulls tighter onto your hair, tiling your ear to meet his mouth. âIâm sick of your whining, about your horrible excuse for a husband. I will treat you how you should be treated.â
Thereâs no time to react as his pink tongue pokes from his lips, a stripe tracing from the corner of your ear, across the sweetest spot of your neck. Youâre reveling in the wetness, the sinful way his words litter through the air before teeth sink into your skin. He doesnât bother to cover your mouth, mute the sweet sounds falling from your lips. Thereâs no decency anymore, Carlos doesnât care who sees the marks he engraves into your skin. The ring on your left hand means nothing more than a reminder that he could be better.Â
âCarlos-â You struggle to connect the two syllables together, hands gripping through his hair, pulling at the brown locks in your fingers. âFuck-âÂ
âWhat did I just say?â He grunts from the valley of your neck, one hand sliding from your waist and flying out, smacking on your clothed butt. The shock simply causes you to gasp out loud, pushing your own throbbing crotch into his hard one. A smirk forms against your neck, clear as day when the man pulls himself from your neck. His lips are wet, saliva from his own mouth tracing around your lips.Â
One hand finds your face again, grasping at your chin tilting your head backwards to hover below his own. A single finger taps at your lips, signaling for you to open wide for him. Heâs sinful as he lets his spit fall across your lips, eyebrows raised as he wraps a hand around your throat, clearly overpowering your stance in this moment.
âSwallow.â He commands, hand resting on your cheek firmly. The tone of his voice sends a shock of energy down your chest and between your legs, cunt throbbing at his words. Of course, you comply, swallowing the remanence he had given you. âGood girl.âÂ
The sweet nicknames in this moment have evaporated; Carlos is nothing short of animalistic, his presence all too understanding as one hand takes its place around your neck, the other grabbing firmly onto your wrist as he guides you backwards, softly falling onto the sofa of his driverâs room. The pitying looks the man gives you sends a thousand messages through your brain.Â
âNo, no. Dirty little girls donât get to sit on my sofa.â He teases, both hands clasping your waist, sliding you off the plush furnishings and resting on the cold floor, kneeling for the Spaniard. âYou need to be on your knees, you need to be taught how to behave.âÂ
Eyes widen as his tanned fingers pull at the knotted arms of the fireproofs resting on his waist. Even through his underclothes, the shape of his hard length is clearly visible, even more so as he removes his underlayers and briefs, letting himself spring freely, one hand rubbing his shaft a few times, the other knotting in the back of your hair.Â
He loves this; cock in his hand as he taps the tip against each of your cheeks, trailing himself against the parting of your lips, having to hide the shiver from his own body when the wetness of your mouth. His eyes are sparkling when he uses his firm cock to press through your mouth, relishing in the warmth of your lips wrapping around his length.Â
âThatâs it, be a good girl. Take it.â He coos as you struggle to take more of his length, attempting to give small, tentative licks to his cock whilst he slides between your lips. It sends him feral, wild. He thinks of nothing else as both hands grip tightly in your hair, shoving your face into his crotch, your gags music to his ears as he continues to take control of the situation.
When your eyes adjust, look up from his groin, he almost feels sorry for you. Theyâre wide, glassy, snuffles falling from your lips as he continues his forceful attack. One hand slowly removes itself from the strain on your locks, tracing over your cheek, thumb rubbing underneath your eye, removing the salty tears as your breath remains heavy through your nose.Â
âOh, poor baby.â He teases, pace never relenting. âThis is what you need, someone to put you in your place, remind you what you deserve for teasing me, making me jealous.â He canât help but chuckle at the pathetic sound coming from your lips. He can feel his stomach tightening, the warmth drawing an imminent release from his cock. This isnât how he wants to finish, he canât yet.Â
Your mouth feels empty when he pulls out, giving you no warning, the gasps falling from your lips at the sudden gain of air. He doesnât give you time to respond, a heavy hand pushing your front to the floor, lifting your hips, ass straight back in the air. No warning, the skirt of your dress is lifted, the wetness of your cunt seeping through your panties. The anticipation kills you, until a warm finger slides into your folds with no warning. Your body canât help but react, clenching around the warmness without even realizing. You also donât realize the sounds youâre making, until the finger removes itself, a palm harshly smacking on your behind.Â
âWhat did I say about noises?â He grunts, leaning around to push the wet finger into your own mouth. âDo you like it? Taste what I do to you?â Hurriedly, he presses his finger in and out of your lips a few times before returning it to your wet hole, wiggling in the air. This time thereâs two; stretching you out, your palms trying to find anything to grip, to hold on to as he carelessly thrusted, tickling a sweet, sweet spot deep in your stomach.Â
âI- Carlos I canât-â You whine through raspy breaths. He can feel you clenching, swelling around his fingers, and is rewarded when he hastily pulls them out of you, a long moan and a squirt of arousal pushing from your cunt. A sheer shock of arousal floods between his own legs, rubbing his fingers against your wet folds, letting your wetness trail onto the tips of his hand.
âOh, your husband canât make you do that, can he?â Heâs proud; proud heâs able to draw such a reaction from your body. âCome on, baby, up we get.â His arms are suddenly firm, present around your waist as he pulls you to stand on two shaky legs, still reveling in the feeling he had granted you moments ago.Â
Hands retract from your waist and come to hold your face, pressing kisses to your scarlet lips as he guides you from a standing position towards his couch, finally allowing himself to sink into the cushions. You want nothing more than to join him, feel his warmth and aura around your own body, but by the finger heâs raised as he situates himself into the sofa, you can tell youâll have to wait.Â
The moment he sits down, a tanned hand comes to his crotch to rub his length a few times, your eyes widening as you plead for it; mind clouded by lust, all you want is for something warm to fill you up, make you feel as good as he had done so many times before. Carlosâ finger beckons for you to join him, and you know what heâs insinuating.Â
Your movements are commanded by the Spaniard; immediately, there are two firm hands on your body, pulling you into his touch and sinking you down onto his cock. You donât miss the way his lips quirk into a grin, oh-so-happy to see your reaction to the pleasure he had granted you. Itâs no match for when he starts moving, bouncing you up and down on his lap, fallen gasps from your lips as your faces draw closer and closer.
You were sinking into one anotherâs skin; he wanted nothing more than to entwine your bodies for eternity. One hand was firm around your waist, guiding your movement with the strength only he could. The other guided a gentle trace across your face, pulling you closer, closer to his own face as his thrusts got faster, erratic.Â
âYouâre mine.â He grunts, never once breaking eye contact as his hips grew tighter, his cock making your cunt squeeze in a way you didnât know was physically possible. âYouâve always been mine, tell me youâre mine.â
His eyes go soft, thrusts pausing for a second as he notes the tears pooling in your eyes from the sheer euphoria running through your body. A whine falls from your lips as you feel his strong hand tug at your neck, pressing your foreheads towards one another, hips slowing for just a moment, letting your breath catch up to your aching body.Â
âIâm yours.â Youâd whisper, mind clouded. You were his. There could be a thousand cars, an ocean or a wedding band between the two of you and you would still always find your way back to Carlos. Whatever that relationship would form, you would always be a part of him.Â
The murmured confirmation was enough to send a shot of energy through his spine, his thrusting becoming deeper, passionate. It barely takes five thrusts before heâs groaning, throwing his head back and letting out a low moan as he spills himself into you. The warmth is enough to send your cunt into flutters, clenching so tightly as your body falls into his chest, whining as you feel a gush of wetness drip onto his crotch.Â
Undoubtedly, Carlos Sainz is now a part of you. Time seems to flicker between seconds and minutes, at some point youâve shifted your weight, turning around to fix your eyes onto the television screen of his room, eyes wide as you watch your husband continue to battle out on the track. It felt almost sinful; watching Charles battle for his podium whilst his teammate stayed buried inside of you.Â
His touch goes soft; one hand remains tight around your waist, though your back is warmed by the way youâre pulled back into his skin. Feather-Light kisses dance across your shoulder, heâs never been this soft, cradling you as if the world would be held together by your content. If the universe was to implode, he would be happy with the fact you were pressed into him in that very moment.Â
The laps of the race begin to dwindle; a promising second-place is looking pretty much secured for Charles. Youâre certain that your silver trophy will be sitting proudly in the hotel room later that evening, until Max Verstappen suddenly begins to slow down, commentators beginning to roar as an unexpected engine issue splutters into the RB19.Â
âHoly shit.â Carlos murmurs, sitting up from his relaxed position, both arms now tightly around your waist as he shifts the balance of your bodies. âWhat happened to Max?â His voice becomes a murmur, your attention drifts, focused on the cars beginning to pick up their speed against the current world champion.Â
Goosebumps litter your skin, you immediately pull away from the warmth of Carlos, eyes wide as you see the scarlet red car glide into view. Heâs going to overtake Max. Not only that, but your husband is about to win the entire race.Â
An audible groan comes from both of you when you slip yourself off his length, searching around for the panties which had been discarded oh-so-long ago; the man rests a hand on your shoulder, one hand tracing across your jawline as the other reaches down, gently smoothing the skirt of your long dress.Â
âWeâll find them later. We need to go and congratulate your husband, after all.â You canât miss the cockiness in his voice, still content with the fact his cum is buried deep inside your pussy, panties are left in his driverâs room as a sheer prize for being able to make you feel euphoric. A tinted blush decorates your cheeks as he slips into his old jeans and a Ferrari polo shirt, one hand resting on the small of your back as he guides you out of his driverâs room, never once bothering to fix his hair when you had been the one to grab onto it so tightly.
People wouldnât think that of him, after all.Â
You love to be loved.Â
Your eyes are brimming with tears as you reach Parc FermĂŠ, Carlos finally catching up with you, standing right behind you at the barrier, eyes transfixed onto his teammate, standing atop of his livery, cheering towards the endless roars of the crowd, passing a congratulatory message towards his fellow drivers, Lewis patting his back, Lando cheering on his behalf.
Heâs already removed his helmet when he sprints towards his team; the losses donât matter, not when he can celebrate the win he had been craving for so, so long. There are praises passed, pats on the back as he works his way down the winding line of his team, red in their clothes and their cheeks, it means the world to everybody.Â
And then, Charles is facing you, his wife. Heâs so transfixed upon your gaze, the sheer elation you have for his victory that he doesnât stop to think when he takes two of his hands on either side of your face, cradling your cheeks as he presses his lips to yours, grinning into such a sweet kiss that you canât help but kiss him back.Â
âI told you.â He whispers when he pulls away from you, resting a gentle hand on your cheek for just a moment. His eyes finally turned to where his teammate was standing. Both of them have to forge a smile as they reach out to clasp hands, a firm grip in celebration of scoring points for their team.Â
You donât see him again, not until heâs left the cool-down room and is bounding towards the podium. Carlos, having not been called to his post-race interview yet, still stood behind you, though one hand had snaked its way around your waist, as if it had to be there. Nobody notices, of course. The team is too focused upon their driver lifting his golden trophy, in awe of the achievement they had built for seemingly the entire season.
Charles doesnât miss it, of course. Maybe thatâs why his gaze is so fixed on you when he releases a splash of champagne, purposely aiming his bottle towards the man behind you, his heart only crushing further when he sees the Spaniard pull your frame behind his own in protection.Â
And then, itâs all over. Both Carlos and Charles are rushed away to complete their post-race interviews. Youâre left alone, simply taking a slow walk towards the Ferrari Hospitality. Even as you pace through the crowds, you canât help but feelâŚsick. Dizzy. Out-of-body.Â
You cared for your husband greatly, and somewhere during it all, you believed his apology was genuine, that he truly wanted to fix the previous mistakes of the year. But how long would his tether last until his mistress came trailing back, regardless of a court ruling?
And Carlos. The sweet man who had proved to you time and time again, you were worth more than a simple name on a piece of paper. Heâd been your soul, you truly were set to drop an entire marriage to live in his arms until his blonde counterpart came along, a knife to the chest after one of the most intimate nights you could fathom.Â
Your breathing gets faster, the world begins to turn on an axis. From somewhere, you hear a voice asking if youâre okay, if you need help getting back to the hospitality. And then, the world goes black, your body slumps to the floor of the paddock, with only one sentence drifting through your unconscious mind.
Who do you love?Â
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#F1#Formula 1#F1 x Reader#Carlos Sainz#Charles Leclerc#CS55#CL16#Charles Leclerc x Reader#Carlos Sainz x Reader#Charles Leclerc Imagine#Carlos Sainz Imagine#Charles Leclerc One Shot#Carlos Sainz One Shot#Reader Insert#Reader x Charles#Reader x Carlos#Formula 1 Imagine#F1 Imagine#Ferrari#Mercedes#Aston Martin#Fanfiction#Carlos Sainz x You#Charles Leclerc x You#Charlos
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Hello, i've read your work recently and i'm in love with your writing! If you mind can i ask where the reader somehow remember their past life and saying sorry to the love and deepspace character? I wonder about their reaction where mc feels really guilty at them. Thank you <3
Dear lonely-dreamer,
Thank you so much for the request. It took awhile but I finally managed to finish it. Since we know too little about Sylus (or even Caleb), I wrote for only the 3 first MLs. I might write something else for Sylus and Caleb later :3
Hope you like this piece. Have a wonderful day!
Lost. Found.
When you suddenly find the memories of the past lives, which you once lived with him.
ââ .⌠Character x Female Reader|MC
Included parts in order: Rafayel, Xavier, Zayne.
âĄď¸. Tags: angst, hurt/comfort, short, myths related.
âĄď¸. Word count: 2k1
ââ .⌠Masterlist ⥠Request a fic - currently closed.
Roam on, my love
down life's
long road
we will
be lost
and found
a thousand times
before
we meet again.
â ATTICUS.
Rafayel
Talia came to find Rafayel in the middle of the night, while you were still half asleep, feeling his warmth slowly fade from the space next to you in bed. You sensed a major event had happened, which was why Talia hurried here alone at such a dark hour, looking so terrified.Â
You had intended to go downstairs and make some tea for the guest. But as soon as you reached the stairs, Talia's voice echoed through the half-open door.Â
"He will not be the last Lemurian to be slain... You know that, don't you, Rafayel? That we don't have any time left..."
Your bare feet paused. The cold air from the stone stairway touched your palm, waking you up. Yes, you were no longer dreaming. This was real. As real as everything you had seen since touching that protocore. During a mission last month, you happened to resonate with a strange protocore. It caused you to perceive illusions, but not quite so. They were like recollections from your past lives, fragmented and sewn together in front of your eyes. The feud between you and Rafayel from a long, long time ago.
So you were aware that your tale and what Talia had said were related. Rafayelâs silence made her even more impatient. She added:
âThey want her, Rafayel. They will come for you. I canât convince them anymore⌠They will find her sooner or later. You already know the priceâŚâ
Time passed slowly in the dark corridor. You understood everything Talia had said, that the girl was you. What the Lemurians desired was inside your chest. You remembered, not everything, but vivid dreams told you what you had done to the Lemurians, to Rafayel.
But it wasnât you. It was a completely unfamiliar version of you.Â
A moment after Talia left, you entered the room. The warm firelight from the enormous fireplace filled the room and illuminated Rafayel's slumped back. When he heard your footsteps, he turned around with a feeble smile and asked:Â
âWhy are you out here, my princess? Did I and our unexpected guest awaken you?âÂ
You gazed at him for a brief moment. After all, you understood that every time he called you princess, it was not just a loving pet name.
You moved closer and hugged Rafayel. You had not told him about your dreams or what you had recalled. That night, you were determined to tell him everything.
Rafayel was astonished. The warm firelight in his eyes blurred, and pure white pearls began to tumble to the floor.
âIâm sorry⌠Rafayel⌠Iâm so sorryâŚâ
Rafayel seized your hands, drew them closer, and kissed them with his lips.
"To be loved, it's not a sin."
His fingers tenderly wiped the tears from your face. He had waited so long for you to discover who you really were, and at the same time he hoped you would never know. That way you could live your days freely, not bound by the hatred of the past. Yet you still remembered everything.
Your breathing became heavy with each sob. You said:Â
âRafayel⌠If you want my heartâŚâ
"I want it to stay there," Rafayel said. "Within your chest. It's yours. Across the past, present, and future. I have never once regretted giving it to you. If you remember, you know I always try to rewrite our story, right?â
âBut the LemuriansâŚâ
âThey are losing faith in me. I understand. But all I need is your faith. We will get through this and never be apart again. Do you understand?â
You did not dare to believe that there might truly be a happy ending for you and Rafayel. But in that moment, as you gazed into his resolute eyes, you realized that you would do everything just to stay with him.
XavierÂ
Lately, you had a hunch that Xavier was going to leave.Â
Ever since you returned from that mission, there appeared to be an unseen divide between you two. You knew it was not him, it was you. The mysterious protocore you accidentally came into contact with during the mission caused you to see things. The dreams were fractured, with no beginning or end. However, you comprehended them as if they were recollections from your former lives.
You kept it hidden from Xavier. He merely thought you were acting odd since you returned, but he would not compel you to say anything against your will. You secretly searched for evidence to back up what you suspected. And you found it.
You knew about the Backtracker fleet. You knew about Philos. And you knew about Lumiere.
Xavier kept everything hidden for your safety. And yet, you kept this a secret because you did not wish for him to suffer. Again.
You still did not know what to say to him, or how to compensate for his loss. He had sacrificed so much, for you. But somewhere inside, you still felt a little resentful that he had left you all alone. You knew he was ready to make the same decision as when he abandoned you at Philos.
âGo to bed early.â Xavier stroked your head gently. âIn a few days, when you wake up, Iâll be by your side.â
Lie.
âDo you really have to go?â You hesitated. âI mean⌠You could have refused this mission.â
You could have stayed. You could have told me the truth.
"I have to go." Xavier responded. He gently squeezed your cheek. "But I'll be back shortly. Do not worry too much. Remember to eat well and skip any meals. Don't stay awake too late. It's getting colder; remember to stay warm. If you are bored and miss me, you may play the video games I recently purchased or watch the unfinished movies..."
It sounds like you're not coming back! You held back the tears and replied:
âIf you donât come back soon, I might have to watch them all by myself.â
âThen Iâll have to ask you to tell me the plots.â Xavier smiled. He lightly kissed your forehead. âIâll leave now.â
You sat on the sofa, listening to his footsteps as they slowly walked away. A slight "click" was heard as the door closed.
His mission was only an excuse. A few days back, you overheard him and Jeremiah talking. He intended to use this expedition to stage a phony "missing case" to distract those who had betrayed him. With Jeremiah, he would lead them away from Linkon, away from you.
He chose to leave you. Again.
Warm tears streamed down your cheeks. All alone, what should you do? You recalled the scene in the past, in which you sat on the throne with the blessings of so many people, yet absolutely on your own. You had counted every star waiting for the day Xavier would return to you as promised. But he had completely disappeared.
This time, he pledged to return to you. This time, he would also break his promise.
You brushed the tears away. You had been thinking a lot in the last several days. You still blamed Xavier, but you understood why he had done so. And you had distanced yourself from him since you were unsure how to confront him. But, at this point, none of that mattered when you might lose Xavier again. Forever.
You raced out of the home. You did not care about the past. You had no concern what the future held. The most important thing to you right that moment was Xavier alone.
Unable to wait for the elevator, you decided to run. You caught Xavier standing outside, likely waiting for Jeremiah. You hurried over to embrace his back. To Xavier's amazement and your weeping, you stated:
âDonât go⌠Xavier⌠Donât leave me alone again⌠Iâm sorry that I assumed you left me to find your true star⌠Iâm sorry for not telling you sooner, that ever since I touched that protocore, I started remembering what happened in Philos⌠I know who you are. Who I am⌠So donât think you can fool me again⌠This time, Iâll go wherever you go. Let me face it with you, okay?âŚâ
Xavier did not have time to respond. You could feel his entire body shudder as a burning tear fell onto your hand, which he had just squeezed so tightly.
ZayneÂ
"Doctor Zayne is out of danger. You can come in." Greyson's voice sounded out. Yvonne stood alongside him, relieved. You nodded at each of them and entered the hospital ward.
How strange, since in all the previous cases, it was Zayne standing here, and you were the one lying on the bed.
There was an attack on the outskirts of Linkon. You were sent to investigate, and Zayne had accompanied his team from Akso Hospital to treat the injured. While fighting the Wanderers, you encountered a peculiar protocore. It had drawn you into a bizarre realm where you appeared to glimpse the lives you had once lived, with Zayne.
You were not sure how long you had been there. It was like a dream, with no sense of time or who you were. You were lost down there, so deep that Zayne had given up everything to find you. The real Zayne, yours, in this timeline.Â
The price of bringing you back was him lying there, fighting for every breath, body covered in wounds and almost completely frozen.Â
The price of bringing you back was him laying there, battling for every breath, his body covered in wounds and almost frozen.Â
You lightly stroke his frigid hand. Zayne did not respond but his heartbeat remained steady. He would live. That was what Greyson told you, and it was all you held on to that moment.Â
Hope.
You stayed by his bedside all night, breathing life and all of your love into Zayneâs hands. When the first rays of the morning light woke you and the warmth returned to him, his eyes fluttered and gradually opened. You squeezed his hand.
âZayne⌠Zayne⌠You're here!âŚâ You cried out. You called for him and not completely him, but the Zayne of all the lives you had found.
Tears began to trickle down your pale cheeks. Zayne carefully wiped them away.
âWhy are you crying?⌠I⌠did not go anywhereâŚâ
You grabbed his hand and pressed your face against it. You kissed his hand aggressively, as if you were scared he would disappear again.Â
âI donât believe you anymore⌠You lied⌠You always said that I would live a happy life in the end⌠But then, you vanished without a trace⌠Did you think you could fool me again this time?âÂ
Zayneâs pupils widened. In an instant, his reaction shifted from astonishment to joy, then despair.
âIâŚâ
"You know, right?" You dried your tears, halting whatever he was about to say. âYou know that we donât have just this one life. Right? You know that you disappeared in front of me in the jasmine field⌠You left me seeking for you among mountains and hills⌠This time, you really intended to leave me again⌠Do you believe that I could really live happily in a world without you?â You let out all your pent-up emotions through each word, each tear. Zayne stared at you with a mix of anguish and joy. You were aware of the same thing he was.
"I'm sorryâŚ" Zayne spoke softly. His fingers cradled your chin and softly elevated your face.Â
âWhy should you apologize?⌠After all⌠The one who is most at fault is me⌠Because of meeting me, ZayneâŚâÂ
You trailed off. Choking. Your entire body trembled as emotions came to the surface. Zayne struggled to sit up, then drew you into his arms and embraced you hard.Â
âBecause of meeting you, I learned what it means to love someone. Because of meeting you, my world is no longer lost in ice and snow⌠I chose you. It will always be youâŚâ
You let out another sob. You clutched to Zayne. âIâm sorry⌠Iâm really⌠Iâm sorryâŚâÂ
Zayne's weight was resting on your head as he kissed your hair. He rubbed your back to soothe you, like he always did.Â
âIt's alright now⌠Itâs alright⌠When I came to find you and get you out of the protofield, I thought I wouldnât have the strength to go back anymore⌠Yet I heard you calling my name all night long⌠You helped me find my way back. You found me. You saved me⌠This time, I have no intention of letting you go ever again.â
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