#my happiness is immeasurable and my day is made

[strawbairicake]

hear me out

jing yuan~ cat cafe owner au ? (he is the owner yk) do what you wish with it, go wild 🎤

the cutest café owner!- jing yuan x reader (cat café owner au!)

synopsis: in which you slowly realize you’re in love with the smooth-talking café owner, but you don’t know he’s the owner.

warnings: none! this is very fluffy and wholesome because i said so! except maybe the last couple of lines hehe (the implications of them anyway) >:3

word count: 384

author’s note: Zoie! thank you so much for participating, i had a lot of fun making this and hope you enjoy it! <3

book n’ dash event 

tagging: @zoieru

cat cafés have become your happy place after work. when work was too rough on you, you’d head to the café for that much needed serotonin boost; and as much as it shouldn’t work, it did. and life would be okay because the cat person in you was happy. every time you went in the café, you wouldn’t fail to notice the very nice (and very attractive) man who always stood behind the counter. it made you wonder if he was the only one running the café. the stress on that poor man must be immeasurable. so when you come in, one Friday after a particularly stressful day of work, Jing Yuan sees you enter and greets you with a soft smile. 

“(Name), right?” 

“the one and only,” you joke. he chuckles. you’ve gone through this charade for almost a year, now, and it’s funny how the same joke hits the same every single time. you order your usual before sitting down and petting a few kittens. Five minutes later, Jing Yuan places your typical drink and a bonus treat, your favorite pastry, on your table.

“what’s this?” 

“on the house. one of those days?” 

“thank you. you have no idea.” and you both chat about everything and nothing all at once. you’re mid-sentence when a cute almost white kitten comes up to you, jumping on the table and headbutting your hand. you look at this particular kitten in shock since a) you have never seen this particular kitten before and b) this was the cutest kitten you have ever seen in your life. 

“ah that’s Mimi, she’s actually my kitten who I bring in with me from time to time. I own the café, actually.” Jing Yuan explained as you pet her some more. the shocked look on your face as he revealed he owned the shop was nothing short of priceless to him, it made him laugh quite a bit. 

“She actually dislikes most people but you seem to be different. She likes you quite a lot.” 

and in your heart of hearts, you knew you were falling for the adorable kitten and owner duo. whether he knew it or not was something to be determined later. but for now, basking in this sweet moment seems like the right thing to do…

©2025 strawbairicake. do not repost, copy, translate, modify, or use for AI.

[iamtheoneandonlyever]

JAYYYYYYYYY YOURE BAAAAAACK :DDD HOW DID YOUR FINALS GO

HIII I'M BACK FR NOWWWWWWWW HOW R U

(Also my finals r still in like, feb-march, these were mandatory "practice" exams hehe)

[wormmurder]

wait... are you the same wormmurder from ao3?! I was SHOCKED when i posted a fic for Sleeping Giant and saw that there were already two!!! I love that movie T_T (if you're not the same wormmurder please disregard this message lol)

yes I am! I read your fic it cleared my skin, watered my crops, etc. I'm so happy to see someone else writing for Sleeping Giant, literally my favorite movie of all time. and nateadam too, the best pairing!! your mind is too powerful

[always-a-joyful-note]

Welp. Tag tagged by @justplaggin for the game

rules: spell out your name or url with songs

I couldn't resist, and thank you very much for it, Jay/Plagg!

To challenge myself, I'm gonna see if I can stick to songs from anime East Asian shows/stories

A - All-in (Alien Stage)

L - Last Dimension (TRIGGER)

W - wi(l)d-screen baroque (Revue Starlight)

A - Artistic Partisan (ALKALOID x Valkyrie)

Y - Yumemiru Architecture (Kagehira Mika; Enstars)

S - STRONGER & STRONGER (Zool)

A - Ame (MEZZO)

J - Joker Flag (IDOLiSH7)

O - OMEGA (STEREO DRIVE FOUNDATION; Yuukoku no Moriarty)

Y - Yume Shizuku (Re:vale)

F - Forever Note (MEZZO)

U - Until it Dies (覃云; Link Click)

L - Lily (Luck Life; Bungo Stray Dogs)

N - Now and Then (Re:vale)

O - Or the Beautiful Golden Drop (Knights; complete version out on May 22, so have the game version)

T - THE POLiCY (IDOLiSH7)

E - Eccentric Party Night!! (Five Eccentrics)

19 songs...and I tried to find ones that I genuinely enjoy right now (RIP to me making this challenge harder), so hence, the above mostly-Japanese-dominated list.

No pressure tags: @bobisnolongerhere @lizzieonka @rosencrantzsguildenstern @msperfectsheep-posts @mahounonbinary @praise-the-lord-im-dead @nitunio @akitchenknife @teslathelame @koi0boi @mihai-florescu @forebodinglight @imissthembutitwasntadisaster and anyone else seeing this because i am now incredibly curious about what songs you will choose (im so sorry if I forgot someone)

[raticated-and-masticated]

This is for you :D Here's the reference picture ⬇

STIMMING SO HARD THANK YOUUU :33

[twobellsilence]

FUCKING FINALLY IM ON TIME TO GET A JROCK TICKET SHOUTOUT TO KAMIJO FOR BEING SO BASED AND CONSISTENTLY REMEMBERING THAT WE EXIST OH HELL YEAH

[ninashiki]

One of my local libraries apparently has a display of transformers (they're all masterpiece scale). My dad sent me a pic and I was SO EXCITED I ended up calling the library immediately to ask why they were there, and it turned out to be the personal collection of the librarian at the desk who picked up the phone!!!!!!!! We had a really joyful conversation and I hope I'm gonna get a chance to see it before they take them down

[jojasimp]

Guess who just dropped irresponsible amounts of money on stardew concert tickets

[angst-is-love-angst-is-life]

Let me paint you a scene.

Its 2am, I should be asleep.

I'm scrolling youtube shorts instead.

I get a clip of a show I haven't seen before instead of house or ghosts

Its a really fun clip of a CSI instantly figuring out a car they're looking for by looking at the treads left. And they have a name ive seen on this blog more times than I know.

So welcome to the game where YouTube shows me more and more clips until I am forced to watch this and fangirl with you.

Goodnight.

I KNOW THE EXACT SCENE YOU SPEAK OF, TOO

YESYESYESYESYES JOIN MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[dollettiee]

⊹ 𝓢𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝓥𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦 〟

            ꒰ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦 .ᐟ .ᐣ ᡣ𐭩 yandere husband! gong—yoo/salesman wanted to celebrate valentine‘s day with you, but two men seems to almost ruined your day. 

            ꒰ 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟(𝑠) .ᐟ .ᐣ ᡣ𐭩 yandere! gong—yoo x fem! chubby! blind! reader, the two men from sg2

            ꒰ 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡(𝑠) .ᐟ .ᐣ ᡣ𐭩 mdni. yandere, soft yandere, mentioned of slapping, reference to the bread and lottery episode, reader is blind, not much dialogue cus i was a bit lazy in this one, reader is written as chubby, man is so lovestruck, petnames (honey, darling)

            ꒰ 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑠 .ᐟ .ᐣ ᡣ𐭩 yes, i am aware that valentine had ended a week or two ago, i had planned to write this the day before my exam 💔 (i als forgor this was in my draft lol)

𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐆—𝐘𝐎𝐎 is a man who thrives on control, his every move calculated, his emotions tightly held under wraps. yet, when it comes to you, his sweet, chubby wife, he‘s a man lost in love. he‘s a master of many things—ruthless in his business, terrifying to his enemies—but with you? he‘s soft. completely and utterly soft.

the world knows him as the man in a perfectly tailored black suit, his hair slicked back, his smile charming yet dangerous. his days are filled with playing ddakji with people who are either in debt, scammed or poor for 100,000 won and slapping his challengers when they inevitably fail. money is never an issue, a suitcase filled with cash a constant reminder of his success.

but when he comes home, everything changes. there, he‘s greeted by his beautiful wife—you—preparing him dinner like a good housewife, despite your blindness. his love for you is immeasurable, and he‘d never dream of raising his voice to you. he wants to protect you, keep you happy, safe from the cruel world outside.

your home is neat, clean, everything in its place, just the way he likes it. he made sure of it, arranging everything to make it easier for you to navigate, even with your limited sight. it‘s a silent expression of his love—his desire to make you feel as comfortable and secure as possible.

but today… today was special.

gong—yoo wanted to make valentine‘s day unforgettable for you. he spent the entire day spoiling you, lavishing you with gifts and his affection. the entire day was filled with laughter, his hands holding yours, kissing each of your fingers as if you were the most precious thing in his world. you were his soft spot, his obsession. the bags in his hands were filled with everything you desired, yet despite your insistence to carry them yourself, he refused. he‘d already done so much for you, but no. he had to do more. always more.

what you didn‘t know was that there were two men following you both. gong—yoo, ever the protector, told you to go inside first. without question, you obeyed.

the men, unaware of the danger they were walking into, followed gong—yoo inside. they were quickly knocked unconscious by a can of food, tied up to chairs, their mouths gagged with cloth. they were now in a room that you were forbidden to enter. gong—yoo had always been clear about it—his office room was not a place for you. he told you it was unkempt and dirty, and you believed him.

but what you didn‘t realize was that the “office” wasn‘t the only thing in that room. it was filled with weapons. guns. the kind of things gong—yoo used when his temper flared.

he stood over the two men, the gun resting in his hand, his demeanor cold and calculating. the rules of the game were simple; play rock-paper-scissors, and the loser gets shot. but it was a cruel twist—only one bullet in the gun. a game of russian roulette disguised as a game of chance.

as the game went on, a knock interrupted the tension. gong—yoo‘s dark, dangerous demeanor melted away the moment your voice reached his ears. the smile that followed was soft, lovestruck, utterly devoted.

“honey? are you okay in there?”

his eyes softened as he motioned for silence, his finger against his lips. “of course, darling. do you need anything?”

the sudden change in tone caught the men off guard. how could someone so ruthless, so frightening, sound so gentle with you? they couldn’t understand it.

you casually asked if he wanted to watch a movie after dinner. gong—yoo‘s heart skipped a beat. his entire body ached with desire to rush to you, but he held himself back. he couldn‘t ruin everything now. he wanted to keep you safe, happy, and blissfully unaware of the darker side of his world. but every word from your lips drove him closer to madness.

“i‘ll be done soon, darling. don‘t worry.” his voice was as soft as velvet, his hand reaching out to hold yours, gently caressing your knuckles as he kissed your palm.

you kissed his cheek, and the simple affection almost made him lose control. “okay, i love you,” you whispered.

“i love you too,” he responded, his voice thick with affection, his hand brushing against your hair as you left.

once the door clicked shut behind you, gong—yoo locked it again, his expression darkening. the gun was back in his hand, his smile turning into something darker, but it was still laced with that love for you—obsessive, possessive love.

“so… where were we?” he asked, eyes gleaming as he turned back to the two men, his love for you making him both gentle and terrifying. his heart beat for you, but his actions? those were still cold, calculated… and deadly.

© all rights reserved ! headers/layouts does not belongs to me ! don‘t copy, plagiarize or modify my works. all works are taken in a form of fiction, do not condone any problematic behavior.

[broken-bottle-chandelier]

RW Art Month - Day 28 (and 29-30) "7th Anniversary Celebration!"

To mimic my old year four Rain World anniversary celebration, I had the seven main sillies from vanilla celebrating the seventh year anniversary of the best game ever! (Also I completely did day 29 and 30 by accident, but it was a happy accident for sure)

I 100% got a little... too invested in this piece, it took a lot longer than I would have liked and I pushed myself to the limit to get it done and... I... Don't think it's my best piece of this year by a long shot... I definitely realized why people... do not draw Moon's can from this angle very often it was... extremely complicated... But I tried and I wanted to draw all my favorite little sillies, and I did that! So I can at least say that I'm proud to have fit 7 of these guys into one piece.

...

But as a statement to this game for its aging...

It really does NOT feel like I've been playing this game for 7 years now... But I'm honesty so grateful it's been a staple of my life, to say Rain World has changed my perception of video games would be an understatement, it is honestly one of if not THE best games I've ever played. It definitely more than deserves the resurgence of attention brought with the Downpour DLC... So thank you Rain World for all the joy you've brought, and hooray to many more years of playing this game to lift my spirits.

As a gift for reading through all that, here's a close up of the slugcat peep decorations! :]

Also, I was so right in my theories about Nightcat LET'S GOOOOOOO!!!

My excitement is immeasurable and my day is made.

[chenfordsbee]

Happy 6 months of Red, White & Royal Blue movie. “I fell in love with a person who happens to be a man and that man happens to be a prince. He has captured my heart and made my life immeasurably better. I love his Royal Highness, Prince Henry George Edward James Hanover-Stuart Fox. I hope one day we’ll have the opportunity to be public about our relationship on our own terms.”

[d-targaryenshoe]

Subtle Admiration - Anthony Bridgerton

Word Count: 1176

Summary: When one admires the person they love, would they not also show the world?

Anthony Bridgerton was a man of impeccable standards and unwavering convictions, known throughout London for his sense of duty and commitment to his family.

As the head of the Bridgerton family, his actions were often scrutinized, and his decisions influenced the lives of his siblings.

Yet, despite his formidable exterior, he harbored a deep, unyielding love for his wife, you, a love that he was determined to showcase to his family.

It was a crisp spring morning, and the Bridgerton household was abuzz with activity.

their late father, Edmund Bridgerton upheldThe family had gathered for breakfast, a tradition upheld by their late father, Edmund Bridgerton.

Anthony, seated at the head of the table, observed his siblings with a mix of affection and amusement.

Each one was unique, yet they shared an unbreakable bond.

As Anthony sipped his coffee, his gaze drifted to you, seated beside him.

You were engaged in a lively conversation with Eloise, your laughter like a melodious tune that brightened the room.

Anthony's heart swelled with pride and adoration.

You had seamlessly woven yourself into the fabric of the family, your warmth and wit endearing you to each of his siblings.

"Anthony, you're staring," Daphne teased, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Do you have something to say?"

Anthony chuckled, setting his cup down. "As a matter of fact, I do." He stood, drawing the attention of everyone at the table.

"I've been thinking a great deal about family lately, about how fortunate I am to have all of you in my life. But there's someone here who has brought me an immeasurable amount of joy and fulfillment, someone who has made our family even more complete."

He reached for your hand, helping you to your feet. "Y/n, you have been a beacon of light in my life, and I want everyone to know just how much you mean to me."

You blushed, your eyes shimmering with love. "Anthony, you're too kind."

"No, my dear," he said, his voice filled with emotion. "I am simply stating the truth. You have shown me what it means to truly love and to be loved. You've brought laughter and happiness into our home, and for that, I am eternally grateful."

Benedict, seated across the table, raised his glass. "To y/n, the heart of our family!"

"To y/n!" the family echoed, lifting their glasses in unison.

Anthony smiled, his heart brimming with contentment.

He had always known that his love for you was profound, but now, standing before his family, he realized that his affection for you was boundless.

He was determined to ensure that everyone saw the depth of his feelings, not just in words but in actions as well.

Later that day, Anthony took you for a stroll, a favorite pastime of yours.

The park was a riot of colors, the flowers in full bloom, and the air filled with the sweet scent of spring.

As you walked hand in hand, Anthony couldn't help but steal glances at you, marveling at your beauty and grace.

"You're unusually quiet today," you remarked, a playful smile on your lips. "What's on your mind?"

Anthony stopped, turning to face you. "You. Always you." He cupped your face in his hands, his eyes searching yours. "I want the world to see how much I adore you, how you've changed my life for the better. You deserve to be celebrated every day."

Your eyes softened, and you leaned into his touch. "Anthony, you do celebrate me, in so many ways. Your love is more than enough."

"But it's not enough for me," he insisted. "I want to do more, to show you off to the world, to our family. They need to see how deeply I cherish you."

You laughed softly. "You have a romantic soul, Anthony Bridgerton. Very well, if it makes you happy, I shall allow you to spoil me."

Anthony grinned, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "It makes me very happy indeed."

True to his word, Anthony set about planning a series of events and gatherings where he could showcase his love for you.

He organized family picnics, soirées, and even a grand ball in your honor.

Each occasion was meticulously planned, with every detail reflecting his admiration for you.

At one such gathering, a garden party held at Aubrey Hall, the Bridgerton estate, Anthony outdid himself.

The gardens were transformed into a magical wonderland, with twinkling fairy lights and fragrant flowers adorning every corner.

Guests mingled and laughed, the air filled with the sounds of music and merriment.

As the sun began to set, Anthony took your hand and led you to the center of the garden, where a string quartet played a soft, romantic melody.

He held you close, swaying gently to the music.

"You've outdone yourself, Anthony," you whispered, your eyes shining with happiness. "This is beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you," he replied, his voice filled with love. "I wanted everyone to see what I see every day—the incredible woman who has stolen my heart."

You rested your head against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. "I love you. More than words can say."

"And I love you," he murmured, kissing the top of your head. "More than anything in this world."

As you danced under the stars, surrounded by family and friends, Anthony knew that he had succeeded in his mission.

He had shown everyone just how much you meant to him, and in doing so, he had strengthened the bond of your family even further.

In the days that followed, Anthony continued to find ways to express his love for you, both grand and small.

He would surprise you with handwritten love letters, leave your favorite flowers by your bedside, and steal moments alone with you whenever he could.

Each gesture, no matter how simple, was a testament to his unwavering devotion.

The Bridgerton family, too, embraced you with open arms. They admired Anthony's dedication and the way he openly cherished you.

It brought a new sense of warmth and unity to the gatherings, a reminder of the power of love and the importance of expressing it.

One evening, as you sat by the fireplace in your home, you turned to Anthony with a thoughtful expression.

"Do you know what I love most about you?" you asked.

Anthony raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "What is that?"

"Your heart," you said softly. "Your ability to love so deeply and to show that love so openly. It's a rare and beautiful thing."

He smiled, his heart swelling with pride. "And do you know what I love most about you?"

"What's that?" you asked, your eyes twinkling with curiosity.

"Everything," he replied, leaning in to kiss you. "Absolutely everything."

As you sat together, wrapped in each other's arms, Anthony knew that he had found his true soulmate in you.

You were his anchor, his confidante, and the love of his life.

And he was determined to spend every day showing you just how much you meant to him, letting the world see the depth of his affection.

[thevoicefromanotherworld]

"I PROMISE"

I WROTE A SHORT FIC WITH REMMICK

I hope you like it! 🖤😊

There was nothing Remmick wanted more in the world than to bite you.

Sinking his fangs into your jugular and letting your warm blood flood his mouth would bring him such a level of happiness accompanied by such immeasurable pleasure that he was even afraid of dying from it, which led him to wonder if he could really die from pleasure.

He certainly thought that every time you were on top of him, sliding it so deep inside you that you saw stars every time you closed your eyelids.

He held your hips with a firm grip but not quite hurting you.

Then he heard it again, the unmistakable sound of your blood pumping forcefully through your body until it reached your heart and back again.

Just imagining taking a sip made his mouth water.

But he knew better.

Not only that, but you had told him several times how much you loved being human.

He had tried to understand you by asking you various questions, which you struggled to answer.

"Why do you like being human?" he asked you one day while you were preparing some food. "Forgive me, but I just don't understand what could be so beautiful about knowing that one day you'll leave this world and no one will remember you."

"That's precisely why I love it" you replied. He frowned in confusion. "Knowing that we have an expiration date and that we won't be here always makes you live life more intensely." You smiled. "I know you'll still be here after I'm gone, but I want you to be by my side for as long as I have left," you murmured. "Do you promise?"

"I promise," he smiled, pulling you towards him to place a loving kiss on your lips. "I'm sure you'll look beautiful with white hair"

[oopsiedaisydeer]

oh my god! oh my god! okay. AAAAA. i hit 1k oopsie nation :>

very very overwhelmed by all the love but i am immensely grateful. i started posting my writing (shoutout to my ponyo!au) approx. 52 days ago. 52 days! and now i'm at 1k. wow. wow. means the world! but what means even more to me, and will always mean the absolute world to me, is knowing the following people are my mutuals :> and that i get to call u my friends <3

without further ado, thank you so so much to:

@sturnslutz alexis u were one of the first ppl who like genuinely wanted to be my friend on here !! always so so surprised by how quickly we became friends<3 i love u. keeping it short and sweet :p

@throatgoat4u nini everytime we interact it's positive. i have not a single bad word to say about u and if anyone does i will come for them. trust. you are amazing and i love ALL your stuff and every time u post your writing i appreciate it smm!!!! also u have always been so so kind and supportive of my work,, which means the most. a singular note from u is worth a 100.

@cowboylikenat nat i love talking to u sm and whenever u pop up in my notes i smile. youre so cute and youre so cool and i just wanna tuck u under my wing like a baby bird. i hope that's not weird. but just know i appreciate u. so much. much much love.

@bernardsbendystraws rose idek what to say bc to me u r like the guardian angel of sturniolo tumblr,, you always made it feel like such a safe space to be a part of and i genuinely can't believe how nice and awesome and amazing you are. i love reading ur work, and talking to u, reading ur yaps, and interacting w u in every way. i love you lots and lots <333

@mattsstarlet kitty sometimes i don't know if i want to be you or if i want to date you (acc no it's definitely the latter). ik we joke around a lot but you genuinely mean a lot to me and your accounts is one of my comfort blogs on tumblr <3 as yk i love scrolling thru it, almost as much as i love showering u with praise bc: ur writing is incredibly underrated imho like ts deserves a million notes and bc ur the sweetest angel ever and bc i am in love with you. i'll never stop. i hope you know how much i love you (ah i wrote sm chat i gotta lock in). kisses and hugs to u always.

@strnilolover gabs we only recently started talking but i feel very very lucky every time you msg me just because you are so cool. and i love you. almost as much as mac and cheese (maybe more). never stop yapping to me please i beg. you are amazing. part of me wants you to fix your sleep schedule the other part is kinda grateful that you're awake when i am (timezones can't come bt us). much much love,, u make me more happy than u know !!

@loverboysturn i've said this before and i'll probably say it again. tink, you inspire me endlessly and i love your blog immeasurably. whenever i'm feeling down i scroll thru ur page and i get especially emotional when i see my asks that you've answered (as an emoji anon shdfhfjs). please never stop writing. u inspired me to start writing and for that i am forever grateful. i love you so so much and you provide me so much joy and comfort just by you being you! and thru ur writing !! i love you more than you will ever know <333333

@snoopychris hello gen. fuck you. i have nothing else to say.

....i love you more than all of sturniolo tumblr could conceive in their collective brain (does that make sense). u make every part of my day better. whether it's a message, a post, a note, answering my asks, or even just the thought of u crossing my mind. omg i'm actually crying. i don't know how to even get across how much you mean to me but i am forever and ever grateful that we are friends and that im not just a groupie to u (bc yk i'd accept that fbhsfdhs). i would NEVER have started writing with you. i would not be nearly as happy or as excited about life right now without you in it. if there's anyone i would want to hug in this world, it would be u:> and i don't even like hugs. i would also suck your metaphorical dick. i hope this makes sense. pda makes me nervous:>> i love you so much im just pulling shit out of my ass atp. u will never get rid of me i hope you know. i love you. ok that's it, i'll shut up now.

and to all of u who interact with me:> thank you. thank you so much. you all make me so happy, especially when you leave a comment, or reblog something, or pop into my inbox. and hello to any lurkers as well. i see you. and appreciate u ! if you are reading this! i love you! my goal for this blog is to be silly and to have fun and just make it an overall positive/comforting place to be:> so i hope if u r part of the oopsie nation, u feel that way fdsfshk. much love.

thank you all so very much again <3

and as always, silly, sexy and sad stuff is otw :>

[finniestoncrane]

Pornstar!Cooper Howard x Fem!Reader, multi-part au fic cooper howard is a former actor, novice pornstar, and current wasteland escort. reader mistakes him for a bounty hunter and ends up getting far more entwined in his lifestyle than they intended in a bid to get what they need from the first 'kind' person they've met in a long time🤎

☢️ Chapter 1: A Bombshell, word count: 3.5k exposition time!! cooper's recent divorce has hit hard, personally and professionally. vault tec have made it impossible for him to find work in any movies so he's turned his talents to porn to make some money. as horrible as he thinks his day is though, his future is only going to get worse (reader shows up next chapter) request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: age gap reference, angst, oral sex, pornography

From the corner of the small, hideously decorated set, Cooper watched the skeleton crew work to clean things up after the last movie wrapped just an hour before. His skin began to crawl, a shudder rolling through his body, as he considered the fact that he hadn’t seen anyone take away dirty sheets or bring in clean ones since he arrived. 

And he was expected to fuck in these conditions. It was a living nightmare.

Trying to lighten his mood, he murmured what was supposed to be a positive sentiment.

“At least it’s not snuff. Way my luck’s going, wouldn’t that just be the cream on top of the pie.”

Cooper looked up to the ceiling, shielding his eyes from the bright studio lights which provided a familiar, albeit less high-end warmth than he was used to. He was working though, so he couldn’t complain too much. A paycheck meant he wasn’t out on the streets, the hot sun beating down on his face instead. And he had to face facts; the snap of some powerful fingers and he could be out on his ass at a moment’s notice, fired even from a gig like this. 

No prospects. Vault Tec had made sure of that not long after he’d confronted Barb. She’d gone straight to her bosses, that panel of cruelty he’d listened in on, and their retaliation, preventative measures to ensure they could continue on their journey of annihilation, had been swift and immeasurably evil. His reputation was ruined, the earth in which he’d grown and nurtured a career scorched, much like they intended to do with the rest of the world. Any upcoming opportunities, any interest that anyone held in him, gone. 

They’d been thorough, efficient. News reports, gossip between housewives, notes passed across the desk during auditions. They’d made sure he’d never work again, not in anything worth while, of course, holding his earnings hostage. And when he thought that was all they could take from him. His life, his money, his house, his wife. They had come for more. Armed Barb with the best lawyers money could hire and then offered him the worst deal. 

His silence in exchange for some brief, supervised moments with his daughter. Something about alcohol abuse, a half-truth at most, but enough to convince the judge. 

It felt cruel to him, that he was put in a position where he had to choose between Janey and the rest of humanity. A shitty thing to do to a man, that’s what he thought of it. And a shitty choice to make. And a shitty decision when he threw altruism to the side and secured the rest of humanity’s fate. He was just as complicit as they were, really, if he thought about it too hard. Which of course, he did. Each night as he struggled to sleep in his apartment. But whatever time was left, he reasoned that he might as well spend it being as happy as he could, even if that was only for one day a month when he was allowed to see Janey.

What was it? Two days ago he'd taken her to the zoo? So almost another month until he saw her again. A month of work. Blood, sweat, and tears. So much sweat.

He let his gaze fall down, taking in his body. Wrapped in a robe, nude underneath it, primed quickly by the makeup artists who seemed to only be making sure that his body hair was tidy and he wasn’t going to sweat too much during his part. Neatly trimmed pubic hair and strategically shaved nipples wouldn’t save him from that though. This was his third film, and each time his nerves, his guilt, his unrelenting shame as he drove his cock into the expert, very formal, professional cunt of whoever his co-star was, it was certain that he’d be sweating copiously only ten minutes in. 

“Coop? Hey, Coop! Howard! Keep your head in the game. Both of ‘em, heh.”

Now he was being bossed around by the lighting guy, someone whose name Cooper had forgotten already. The snorting laughter echoed in Cooper’s mind, bringing him firmly back to reality from his daydreaming. It was more mindless worrying than daydreaming, really, but it was the only reprieve he got these days, and now it seemed he couldn’t even find a moment of peace for that. 

Daydreaming suggested something positive, thoughts filled with desires or nostalgia for days gone by. But there wasn’t a single remaining vestige of his former life that he was happy to cling to, all of it tainted with soured memories and terrifying future prospects. And knowing what he knew, he still had to keep going. He had to pretend like nothing was wrong. A fake smile plastered on his face despite the mess that he was in. 

“Howard? Come on, man. Pull it together.”

The lighting guy was calling on him again, and this time he had the gall to look at Cooper with an impatient, furrowed brow. 

“You know they used to call me Mister Howard.”

“And they used to say I looked young and fresh faced, shit changes, man. You coming or what?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming. Keep your pants on… at least you get to.”

He knew he shouldn’t be so flippant, but his patience had worn thin over the past few months. Now that there was nothing to be charming for it was no longer second nature to him. He was rude, cold, and found he was losing himself. Deep down, there was a voice scolding him. Telling him to be thankful that when there were no more studios with their doors open to him, that he was at least able to find some places willing to hire. And while it was a lot less glamorous, he should still be grateful. 

But it was hard to feel that way when his new profession was clouded by his own insecurities.

Cooper was well aware that he wasn’t by any means experienced when it came to the world of sex. His first foray into anything of that nature was with his highschool sweetheart on prom night. An unfortunate experience that taught him nothing and ended up igniting the spark that ended that first love. Then there was Barb. He’d met her in college and they’d been together until their bitter divorce. A single one night stand between then and his current career, and that was his sexual history summed up neatly.

It always struck people as funny when they learned about his very short list of sexual conquests. He was Cooper Howard. Charming, charismatic, handsome, famous. A verified heart throb. But he was woefully unsure of what to do with that reputation, and always had been. While other stars would flirt with fans or interviewers or even directors to get a little bit more attention, Cooper was never able to offer anyone anything but a genuine and pleasant smile and maybe at a push, a mischievous wink to accompany his signature smile. He wondered how much of it had to do with the fact that he only had eyes for Barb, but even when she had pushed him to ‘play the game’ he’d still found himself unable to. 

Now, all of a sudden and based on a perception of him that was built upon years of good PR, he was thought of as some kind of casanova, and expected to act as such. He had to act like the kind of guy who charm the pants off a woman, with very little plot to back that up, and who could fuck for thirty minutes solid in front of a crew and without cumming too soon,

Interestingly, at least to Cooper, they had told him that would be the hardest part. Stamina. The suspension of orgasms. But he found it all too easy, mostly because there was never a point where he felt any kind of deeply sexual attraction to his co-stars. Much the same as his previous acting roles, he’d always viewed it as a job. It would be inappropriate to have any other feelings. The women he worked with now were beautiful, skilled, talented. But Cooper wasn’t in love with them, and he found that made it hard to coax an orgasm out of him. Luckily, that seemed to suit his new bosses pretty well. He was handsome, a known commodity, and could last a while before they worked him up to his big finale, even if they had to cut the cameras while they waited for him to get to it.

“Alright, Howard. Robe off, let’s see that cock.”

Sighing, his eyelids closing as he tried to separate himself from his actions, Cooper shrugged off the robe that covered his body, letting it slink to the floor and pool at his feet. Despite the heat, his skin still prickled as it was exposed. Nipples hardening, hairs standing on end. 

“Can we get a little enthusiasm, Coop? Like your other movies?”

Cooper muttered under his breath.

“You can get the same enthusiasm when I’m getting the same paycheck.”

“What was that, buddy?”

“I said, where do you want me?”

“Yeah… that’s what I thought. Ok, Phoebe’s gonna be on her back, that ok, doll?”

“Of course!” 

“Perfect… so, you’re gonna be here. We’re doing missionary first, then maybe we cut to some doggy style. Remember, eyes away from the camera, and make sure that whatever you’re doing we can see those genitals. They’re the real stars!”

This was his life now. His body getting first billing above his soul under whatever lewd title this was going to be given. 

“Mr Howard? I just wanted to say, I’m a huge fan. I watched your movies as a kid, you’re like, my dad’s favourite star.”

His co-star, Phoebe, if he remembered correctly, was laying on her back on the bed, waiting for him. Her big, green eyes were wide with excitement. She’d been a fan. And when she was a kid. Looking at her now, he wondered how he hadn’t noticed how young she was. Barely pushing her early twenties, fresh-faced, keen, full of hope. 

How would her dad feel about him now? Would she mention this? Talk about meeting Cooper Howard, but skirt around the exact details? Or would she brag? Maybe it was just him who had a disdain for this line of work. He certainly didn’t judge anyone else on the set. Only himself. 

“Uh… thank you, darlin’. Always nice to meet a fan.”

Phoebe giggled, a sweet sound that made his heart sink. She spread her legs wider, eyes flitting down to his cock which he was stroking slowly in a bid to get it stiff. 

“You ready to go?”

“I’m ready! Mr Howard?”

Cooper looked down in dismay, his flaccid member refusing to play along. A stubborn diva, it turned out. 

“Is… is there something wrong, Mr Howard? Is it me? I’m so sorry, you must be used to much bett-”

Cooper’s natural empathy, at least the last reserves of it, were pulled out of hibernation as Phoebe began to blush, embarrassed at what she perceived as her inability to turn him on.

“Oh, no, darlin’. This is a ‘me’ problem. You don’t worry about it at all, ok?”

He placed a hand on her bare shoulder, all lust evaporating as he comforted her, smiling back as she beamed appreciatively to him. 

“God damn it, ok, let’s get Harv in, he can do his scene with Phoebe, that ok, doll?”

“Oh for sure! I’m good to go.”

“Perfect, you’re an angel. You, Howard. We can shoot the exposition scene just now. Go to wardrobe and get your outfit.”

Oddly thankful, even though he was embarrassed at his inability to perform, Cooper headed to the small room where they held the small wardrobe for cast members. The exposition scenes were his favourite to shoot. Of course, they were poorly written, and his co-stars weren’t exactly professionally trained actors. But it at least felt like old times. Lines to memorise, a character to portray. And limited sexual encounters for him to fuck up.

Besides, it was porn, and he was the star. Which meant there was a lot more wooing. A lot more women, various actresses playing a myriad of characters, all of whom were seemingly desperate for Cooper’s cock, whatever role he happened to be playing. Once the exposition was out of the way, he had to fuck. But these scenes? He got to be enticed, which always made it a little easier on him. He might have even been looking forward to it today. A stroke to the ego, among other things. A boost to his confidence, and a little physical comfort to stave off the looming spectre of complete loneliness.

When he sifted through the rack and found his name on a plastic covered bundle, however, his brief glimpse of joy was stolen away. 

It wasn’t exactly the same, but it was close enough. The deep blue shirt, bright, golden yellow detailing. And the hat. Not identical, but anyone watching would know that he was supposed to be portraying his old self. A cowboy, the Cooper Howard people knew and loved.

On the table behind him, he rifled through the ‘scripts’ until he found the one with his name scribbled on the top. Ten lines, some room for ad-libbing. All of it cowboy themed. Pulled directly from his movies, albeit changed a little for the sake of copyright infringement. 

He couldn’t do it. 

But then he remembered Janey. How badly he’d wanted to treat her, to spoil her. And how little money he had left after alimony. And how expensive the rent was at his new apartment, which was overpriced, disgustingly decorated, and didn’t even allow pets. 

Maybe everything would be ok in the world. Maybe he’d go on living, get to see retirement, see the world flourish, the wars end. Maybe, Vault Tec and Barb would see the light, change their ways. Maybe it was all for nothing. 

So maybe he better get his shit together and start making some money, so that what was left of his future wasn’t so abysmal.

“Put on a smile and go get your cock sucked, Cooper. Not the worst day in the world, really.”

WIth a sigh of resignation, he chose to listen to his conscience, the little voice that steered him in the right direction, and put on the suit. The material was a poor quality, some cheap polyester deal, ill fitting, too baggy for his frame. And the hat was clearly something from a cheap party supply store. But as he looked in the mirror at himself, he could push away the feeling of seeing a ghost and focus on the positives. He looked almost like himself again.

“Mr Howard? They’re ready for you.”

The polite knock and the soft voice of the only runner on set came through the door, and Cooper exited, surprising the young man in the corridor.

“Oh wow.”

“What’s wrong, kid?”

“Nothing, nothing. You just… you look like you did in your movies. I’m a little bit starstruck.”

“You gave me my coffee this morning.”

The runner looked to his feet, shuffling awkwardly as he tried to explain himself.

“Yeah, but that was… now you look… y’know?”

Trying not to be impolite, Cooper pushed past him, muttering under his breath.

“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”

Back in what the director insisted on calling “the studio” despite it being a hastily fabricated sound stage in the middle of some tacky, shared ownership mansion in the hills, Cooper was met by a new woman who introduced herself as Veronica, before quickly telling him that everyone called her Ronnie. He smiled, clutching her hand between both of his in that confident way he used to greet fans, smiling at her as she bit her lip and smirked. It was a flirtatious look, one that gave him a bit of a boost as he subtly eyed her up and down and judged her silently.

“She definitely likes you… and she’s not too bad to look at herself. Look at you, seeing the positive side of things! Well done, Cooper. Well done.”

He made his way through the first few lines, trying his hardest to maintain a look of arousal as his co-star clumsily worked through hers, emphasis and inflections all over the place, the puns not quite hitting right the way she was delivering them. But he could forgive it all as she dropped to her knees in front of him.

“Well, I have to give you something for saving me from those bandits, kind sir… maybe this will be enough to repay you.”

She was adept at unbuckling his belt, repetition and muscle memory aiding her, and he could feel his erection stirring as she pulled his flaccid cock free from his pants and began to stroke it. 

“Now, ma’am… that won’t be necessary…”

Cooper’s voice trembled over his words as he took his semi-erect cock from her and began stroking it slowly himself to keep the erection building. 

“... I did what any good man would.”

“Then let me do what any good woman should.”

He cringed hard at the line, but luckily, the grimace was covered by his mouth dropping open as Ronnie took his cock in her mouth, sliding her lips over the tip with a gentle ease that made him forget momentarily how terrible his life was at that point. 

Her tongue slid over the tip, teasing over the slit and collecting his pre-cum with a satisfying moan that vibrated through him, tingling over the sensitive nerve endings. Cooper was able to sink into it, some of the muscles in his back loosening as he let himself go. Something so satisfying about the way she held him, one hand on his testicles, the other stroking his shaft as he lips puckered around his head. 

Cooper wanted to show her. Not that she was doing anything wrong, she was doing a better job than anyone else had. Ever. But he wanted to guide her, to ease her throat over his length, to breathe through her nose as he filled her mouth, to show her how he liked it. He kept himself to himself, however, putting his fingers in the belt loops of his pants so they couldn’t reach for anything before he could stop them, like the back of Ronnie’s head to down to her round, firm breasts, or even letting his fingers trail over her-

“Cut! For fuck’s sake.”

“Just as things are looking up…”

Cooper’s attention was focused on the director who sat lazily in his folding camping chair. All of him reacted to the interruption, the disruption of his genuine pleasure, finally, for the first time in who knew how long. Tense, irate. And not in the mood.

“Alright, alright… I thought this was gonna be a one take situation, but geez, Howard. If it’s not one thing, it’s the other with you! You got lines to be getting through, imbecile! How you got hired before, I’ll never know. If it wasn’t for that wife of yours, you’d-”

“Now wait just a damn minute!”

Cooper pulled away from Ronnie, his cock bouncing around as he stomped in a way that might have seemed comical to the crew if he hadn’t looked so intense, filled with complete rage as he shook a pointing finger at the director.

“I am sick of taking this from-”

Everyone was jolted into a panic as a rumble spread through the ground. One burst.

“Can’t be an earthquake…”

The runner had only just come into the room when everything in Cooper’s vision was blocked out by a bright, white light. A quick flare, like a firework, or a flashlight being turned on in a dark room. He could see it still, but smaller, and somewhere on the horizon, down in the city. 

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Get down.”

It was perhaps the last truly selfless thing Cooper did. The glass landed on them, some people got splintered by the small shards as they fell to the ground. But they’d avoided the worst of it. And he didn’t need to help them. These were not people he cared for. They were people who were cruel, difficult, practical strangers. People who didn’t deserve what Cooper knew was coming.

He thought of that day a lot. Of how he’d had it somewhere in him, a long, long time ago, to offer himself or his wisdom in exchange for nothing, to people who these days he’d sooner shoot in the head before spitting in their cup. 

Bitterly, he indulged himself, hoping that at least some of them were suffering a fate worse than his, if such a thing actually existed. 

“Maybe the mutants.”

There was hardly any time this evening for him to satisfy his desire for revenge with fitful fantasies, however, because he was rudely interrupted by who he expected was yet another customer tapping on his shoulder. A new client who didn’t know the rules.

No touching before payment.

So he turned to politely inform them, and make sure they didn’t forget it next time.