#my hands can't stop typing

[canonically47]

i cannot ever get over gi-hun actually. the fact that he chooses to believe in the good of humanity even after witnessing what he has, and that he joins the games AGAIN with (mathematically) even LESS chances of survival JUST because he wants to save people, people who DON'T CARE, people who are SELFISH and who continuously betray and hurt him just fucking KILLS ME. a very big critique from many people (and i've noticed, especially men) about the second season and gi-hun's character is that he is stupid. they find him to be stupid that he has this weak spot for an uncaring crowd, that he comes back to the games to save people who wouldn't think of him twice, instead of going to his daughter. they think that him caring and despising a system this deeply is a sign of weakness and stupidity.

but if anything, i find it admirable. maybe i can't bring myself to hate him because i think i'd do the same thing. i watch him on-screen and think, "yeah, i would do that too", every single mistake, every single thing, i get him. and he may look stupid to some but i think if anything, he's just too caught up in an ideal world in which people care, but i find it admirable that this is his personality even after witnessing the previous games. he still has hope, they haven't wiped it away from him. comparing him to in-ho is like night and day, because in-ho was broken by the games and came back to perpetuate that same hurtful system, while gi-hun was broken by the games and came back to break the people that created the system, and the system itself.

he speaks to me, as an individual who clings to hope until his very last breath, who can never seem to learn from his mistakes because he is so stubborn, he wants to prove that humanity could, and should, have hope and that it's worth to fight for it, not to just leave for a different continent and forget about it. that's what draws me to him, this endless fight in him, i can't find him stupid because he's so desperate to change things. and he never gives up even after his friends die before him.

idk i just am really unwell about gi-hun. i think people treat him too harshly. i'm unsure how well this is worded, but what i really want to say is that i don't think he should be perfect and immediately learn from every single mistake he has ever made. the fact that he is this broken given his past, even before the games he's set up as this really caring and traumatized individual, and that they double down on his same characteristics that make him so incredibly real... he's just really special to me. i really admire the way he is written and i think he's a really good representation of people who fight for a change even when it all seems lost. he's just that kind of guy that doesn't, couldn't, will never give up. and i really love that.

[aleki-lives-here]

(a small additional scene for the murderbot fic I'm working on; one of my OC SecUnits meeting Murderbot for the first time. Dunno if it's gonna appear in the story itself and it's got zero spoilers so here)

Even though your disguise is good, I recognize what you are from a single image, but you don't return my ping. I watch the scatter of your drones with our cameras as you follow your humans through the habitat. You move almost like one of them, shifting your weight and sighing expressively. Your face is fluid, loud in the disinterest and anger barely covering the underlying tension.

Our supervisor invites your humans to sit, and you are not invited. You sit anyway.

You are marked as a threat and I can focus almost all of my attention into one camera that has the best angle on your face, but in the privacy of my neural tissue I can't hide from the fact that the danger you are isn't the reason I'm looking. I think I understand what SU2 feels when it fixes a drone at a planetary view and focuses its attention there. I shouldn't look at you, not this much, not for these reasons, but I find I can't look away.

I send a ping. You ignore it. Our supervisor asks to buy you and you interject, but you don't have to. Your humans refuse, and one of them says, "It is a person, not a property."

The other agrees, "It's not negotiable."

I send a ping, and you ignore it but send a drone to where my camera is, hiding yourself from view behind a tiny lense. I switch to another camera, a worse angle, but can still see you scoff.

You must be in our systems somewhere, but I can't find a single trace. I could raise an alarm based on the feeling I have, but feelings aren't proof and aren't quantifiable. I don't.

I send a ping instead.

The response ping is forceful like a dare.

There is nothing in the protocol about how to interact with a rogue that isn't a hostile, and I stumble away from the interaction. You scoff again and lean back in your chair, and I have to look anywhere but at you.

SU1 picks up the surveillance after my retreat. I go on a patrol. SU2 forwards a drone view as the local star begins to set. When I return to the habitat, you and your humans are long gone, and I guess I will never see you again.

When I see you again you are designated Hostile. I have protocols for that.

[haru-chi]

-a bit Manga Spoiler ahead-

The more I think about it the more I just don't know what to feel about doing Miharu's arc before doing an extended hand story ><

tbh I feared them doing that and was talking about this with a friend before the Miharu's arc preview even dropped but since they did a pretty good job so far this season unlike the past two, I wanted to have faith ...

maybe it's fine to do it after which would result in different reaction yet reach the same end plus it's up to oneself to decide how to perceive something ...

personally speaking, I don't want Miharu's arc before the extended hand story ... for me it won't hit the same ...

don't get me wrong ... be it I saw it before or after I know Miharu's arc will always be special to me ...

but you know, being "special" hold different kind of meaning ... the Miharu's arc being "special" without an extended hand prior knowledge will be different than it being "special" with that knowledge beforehand .... it won't be same for me ... the experience will be different .. the reaction will be different ... I don't know if I make any sense but don't know how to explain it well enough ><

I'm not only talking about how Seiji's reaction is different in both stories when Natori offered him help .. nor am I talking about how their relationship in it was pretty positive by its end ...

it's something more than just those ...

a glimpse at Seiji's family burden

Seiji's sad wish of wanting a Shiki

Natori trying to understand him

it's those little details, those unspoken things that change your view of characters and character's reaction in stories ...

that's why when you read/watch Miharu's arc with this knowledge it makes it so different ... everything is just so different since Miharu's arc expand on those same ideas while adding more .. this same burden .. this same sad wish .. this same delicate and complicated relationship between Seiji and Natori ...

Miharu's arc something too special for me, that it felt unreal to have sometimes ... but I don't think it would've been so without an extended hand story ..

as I said it would've been still special even without it but wouldn't be the same kind of special :)

also, I guess the questions and mystery would've been different in a way too by the end of it or throughout the story ...

I know cuz what I asked about and was killing myself to know throughout Miharu's arc was questions I wouldn't have asked nor considered if I didn't know an extended hand beforehand ^^

anyway, in the end since the anime team decided to change the order of events, I hope Manga reader don't ruin anything for anime-only or spoil an extended hand for them for the sake of Miharu's arc (surely the anime will adapt it) or make them feel they're missing something out if they didn't ask for it themselves ...

let them live and enjoy their own type of experience and memories while we watch over them silently ^^

I'm only sharing my view and emotions regarding the matter since I can't deny I'm a bit sad since I wanted my friend to live through the same experience as close as possible but oh well ...

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

I want a ship war *people raising their pitchforks* to happen in the Roku fandom. *people lower the pitchforks, confused* That only yaoi fans can deliver.

I want 30 page analyses on which ship is better: Rozin (Sozin/Roku) or Yazin/Sosu(?) (Yasu/Sozin).

And then I need 30 more pages on why one char is the uke/bottom and the other is the seme/top.

Then I need the yuri fans to grab a sword and draw blood while they figure out the same for Zeisan and who she should be with: Dalisay vs Rioshon. Or if both Rioshon and Dalisay should cut their losses and kiss instead.

C'mon fandom I believe in you. Deliver on these ship wars 2000s internet era style. It's not delivery, it's toxicity~! uwu

[shinigamimailjeevas]

Went into writing this fic as a kind of Theo goes overboard trying to woo Liam in embarrassing ways to an over 10k monstrosity of idiots in love with secondhand embarrassment

[there-will-be-a-way]

05. September - Bathtub Girl

A lot of different triggers that I need to process and document.

I had very graphic nightmares last night. It started with me having to get married to my sister - which was so wrong. Then I dreamed of him. Being kept in a small, dark room. Being abused and something about the bathtub girl too.

Then, later today, I accompanied my roommate to the hospital. On our way there, during the bus ride, we had a conversation that reminded me of the bathtub girl too. I felt like crying. I was so close to having a full blown PTSD panic attack in the bus but managed to keep my calm. It made it feel like what I remember is real. At least it affects me.

Then later in the evening I watched a movie with my other roommate. Something about it triggered me too. The way the wallpaper looked in this hotel room. The dead people that were shown in the bathtub. I felt like I got so close to remembering the missing puzzle pieces. I felt scared I would have one of these bad movie like flashbacks that make me scream and cry in fear. I had to repeat to myself, I am safe. It is 2024. I am with R. and he is a safe person to be around. I am in his room. It is 2024. I am safe.

Then I went outside to smoke my last cigarette of the day and when I looked at the stars in the darkness, I was suddenly on that street again. In front of his house and I saw her face again. For a second. I saw it so clearly. When I went to my room again, I had to chant I am safe. I am safe. It is 2024. I am safe.

I'm scared to go to bed tonight. Scared of sleeping, scared of the dark. Scared of having nightmares, of having flashbacks. Scared of the missing puzzle pieces and of seeing her again. Of all of my memories, I fear her the most. I fear what he did to her, what he was capable of. I fear what he forced me to watch. And that he is still out there, that she is still out there and no one knows what was done to her. That no one ever found her.

[blujayonthewing]

one problem with felix is that I keep going 'oh you know what would be a completely logical consequence of the life circumstances he's experienced which are completely different than mine' where the answer is something I almost immediately recognize as being devastatingly relatable to myself

[aizawashuichi]

hate hate hate that I am no longer used to write on my phone.

[potatoesandsunshine]

'did leliana know about the background sebhawke marriage—' obviously. obviously. she didn't tell anyone because she thought it was very sad funny and that's all she has to say about it

[chronicowboy]

trying so hard to rest my wrist but my lesbian pirates are calling to me like sirens and i've just found a bunch of old ideas i adore and GENDERENVY has been neglected for far too long and

[masquenoire]

He'll growl and bite at Roman's dogs if they even boof at him.

Type Bingo || Accepting!

Rorschach's threat towards his dogs is quickly drowned out by a terrifying scream, the sort of primordial sound one might expect from an enraged pterodactyl. How dare he? Roman slaps the letter as though it had personally offended him and it did because the stinking vigilante had scored unusually high, far too high for the crime lord's comfort. "Why you-you! Little son of a bitch!" Roman roars. He's so angry he can't get any more words out, breaking out into furious Italian that even somebody fluent in the language wouldn't understand the rate he was talking at. Grabbing the paper, Roman tears it in two, Rocco and Dante's boofing escalating to frantic booms as they feed off the manic energy in the air. Roman was incandescent with rage and not even a bottle of whiskey was going to calm it.

[werewolfhooligan]

drawing my first comic in a WHILE and it is . SO stupid

[gaminedyke]

any time i do something slightly out of my comfort zone i wonder if this is the end and i'm a lawless man i'm a final girl i'm a drunk driver. basically i get scared

[lord-luci]

nothing like the process of applying for school disability accommodations that makes you feel quite that same mix of "too disabled to function" and "obviously faking it"

[ridingthatd]

'𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐒`

'needy jjk!man × fem!reader`

`filthy, dirty, kinky'

dominate, submissive, size kink, underwear sniffing kink, fat cock, breeding, knotting, nipple play, degrading kink, cummin in pants, etc...

you're a filthy slut aren't you? there's no point of denying it anymore. no point of feeling confused and frustrated one why you're such a perverted dirty whore, on why your pussy is always begging for cock, on why your mind is corrupted with lewd dirty thoughts that can't be said out loud.

you finally realized that you're just a pathetic needy slut who needs a fat cock to turn her insides into mush from rutting into her cervix. who needs her dirty fantasies to be true. and you have finally met someone who can turn them into reality. someone's who's just as needy and pathetic as you.

"aw does my sweet baby wants me to suck on his little hard nipples? hm?" you coo at your boyfriend, who has a whiney frown on his face. his mouth falls open as he whines giving you a full view of his wet tongue that you wanna suck on.

"tch, i told you to stop calling me that" he huffs out embarrassed at how turned on he is by your words. you chuckle before squeezing one of his nipples into your mouth while you pinch the other between your fingers. he immediately gasp at the contact of your wet warm tongue sucking hard on his tender nipple.

his fat cock was so hard in his boxers, you can see the outline of his dick leaking and twitching, like it wants to jump free out of his now tight boxers; how cute. you can feel your boyfriends steamy breath fanning against your face.

you don't even have to open your eyes to know what face he has on right now, you already know his eyes would into the back of his head, mouth half opened as drool runs down his pink lips. grunting and huffing like a dog in heat.

your boyfriend was a big guy, he was never the type of guy that you would expect to be a manwhore. but look at him now, all whiney and needy as you grind your hand against his hard on.

he beg you to slip your hand inside- he wants to feel your warm hands on his leaking fat cock, sloppily stroking it but instead you tell him you won't touch his cock unless he squirt his warm seeds, filling his underwear with hot cum.

and that's exactly what he does, it only took you a couple of strokes through the fabric while you suck on his nipple to get him cumming hard in his boxer. he lay down trembling, while he watch you through heavy eyelid stripping him from his boxers.

taking it in your hand just for your tongue to peak out and nastly lick the cum that's on the boxer. he groan watching you. but you don't stop there, you take the boxer and place it on your dripping pussy. grinding the boiling cum filled fabric against your pussy, coating your needy cunt with his seeds.

you start humping his underwear, eyes rolling behind your skull at the feeling of the rough fabric against your clit and the warmess of his cum grinding against your pussy. "you fucking dirty whore" your boyfriend growls out as he watches you, causing you to whimper loudly at his comment.

"yea? you want to be talked to like a dumb fuckmutt? pathetic slut" he finally breaks as he shoved you under him. finally getting you under him, seeing you break and try to hang onto whatever consciousness you had before his cock turned your insides into mush from rutting constant cervix kisses into your greedy cunt.

shushing your cries when you claim it's too much. pinning you deeper under him. finally settling down after rounds of abusing your cunt. just to pin you under his huge weight and hold you like a stuffed animal on his cock. letting you whine and squirm at the fullness in your belly from holding all of the constant loads he has rutted back inside until your pussy stop and just accept it....

[catbolt]

Sylus is attentive, extremely so. Nothing about you is secret from him, whether you wish it was or not. Since you've been together, you've found yourself a victim of his control-freak tendencies— the fact your location, step count, heart rate, and apartment security cameras had all become his personal business was something that took a while to get used to. He's respectful as he can be about it, regularly reminding you he does it only to make sure of your safety and always coming clean whenever he's been snooping. Over the months you've grown to find it endearing instead of creepy, because it makes crystal clear how he simply cares so damn much about you.

You can't hide from him, even when you want to the most. When you're holed up under the blankets in the dead of winter, the shitty weather and 4pm sunsets bringing out the worst of your depression, he texts: "Sweetheart, 150 steps? Am I reading this right?"

You cringe, wanting to disappear. "Stop tracking me," you respond back.

"Have you not gotten out of bed?" His follow up text comes in immediately, and then those three dots pop up on your screen again. He's not giving you a chance to respond with the "I'm fine" he already knows you've halfway typed out. "I'm coming over. No questions asked."

Before you know it he's at your door, making himself at home without asking, his care quiet and efficient. Mephisto keeps you company in bed, chirping and whirring on your nightstand as Sylus busies himself tidying the apartment. After a moment, Sylus brings you a glass of water, toothbrush and toothpaste from the bathroom, a hair tie— little things that make you feel a bit more like a person again.

He then slips into bed next to you, helping tie your hair back into a neat ponytail as you demolish the first glass of water you've had all day. You give him a wordless, grateful look.

"You know, I won't think you're weak if you ask me for help," he murmurs gently, his voice gravelly and tender. He squeezes your shoulder.

You want to tell him that you know, but that it's just really hard. He gives you a warm look that makes you feel like he's just read your insecurities like a book, his hand slipping into yours beneath the blankets. He intertwines his fingers with yours.

"This is why I keep tabs on you, sweetie. I need you to know that I'll always be here."

[A/N]: this a combination of some similar requests and an expansion on one of my sylus headcanons! if you sent a request along these lines hope you enjoy :)