#my hands can't stop typing
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I want a ship war *people raising their pitchforks* to happen in the Roku fandom. *people lower the pitchforks, confused* That only yaoi fans can deliver.
I want 30 page analyses on which ship is better: Rozin (Sozin/Roku) or Yazin/Sosu(?) (Yasu/Sozin).
And then I need 30 more pages on why one char is the uke/bottom and the other is the seme/top.
Then I need the yuri fans to grab a sword and draw blood while they figure out the same for Zeisan and who she should be with: Dalisay vs Rioshon. Or if both Rioshon and Dalisay should cut their losses and kiss instead.
C'mon fandom I believe in you. Deliver on these ship wars 2000s internet era style. It's not delivery, it's toxicity~! uwu
#is this a shit post? yes but I kinda want it to happen....for the bit#rozin#zoku#yazin#sosu#reckoning of roku#chronicles of the avatar#i'm craving internet ship toxicity from the early 2000s today fkdlsajfdklsaj#there was a specific passion#zeisan fumbles both bags like a loser#dalisay and rioshon kiss instead#rioshon shows dal a cool rock and her world gets rocked moments later#no no you see Dal and Rio are both are Sozin's hit list#this feels like a sequel post to me asking the old man yaoi/old woman yuri fans to carry Kyoshi/Yangchen's books to getting animated#'careful silly! people might start shipping roku/yasu next' then we'll know we've made it if it gets to that point *sobs*#(I don't want it to happen but fandom's gonna fandom it's like asking for the sun to not rise tomorrow we can't stop it)#this is an actual plea I want to read your dissertations on the ships. I need some joy sparked TT0TT#(my ass gonna regret posting this. is it a bit? kinda. but ajkfljlsdalf feeling second hand embarrassment from it even as I type jkfldsajf)
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
Went into writing this fic as a kind of Theo goes overboard trying to woo Liam in embarrassing ways to an over 10k monstrosity of idiots in love with secondhand embarrassment
#Why am I surprised?#Thiam#teen wolf fics#I say this every damn time#help I can't talk to people but my hands won't stop typing
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes y/n is better than me cause istg I would crash tf out ✋
#I am not the one >:(#these x neglected reader fics have me in a chokehold and I'm livid. Deadass need to stop reading them for the sake of my blood pressure 😭✋#Ooooo I would've been gone so fast. Or those mfs would've had to catch these hands cause you ain't gonna talk to me crazy 🧍#poison exists watch yourself 🤨as lil Wayne once said I'm not a killer but don't push me 💀💀💀💀#Like you wanna talk mess? I can talk mess too as a matter of fact imma go for your fucking soul#ooo I'm so mad#Like the whole 'bitch you can't say that😰' type mad. Pero no pues they can act and say shit but I can't 🙄#we tried the high ground we pulling these mfs to the trenches now#this bitch is yapping#The real rage bait I swear 😭😡😭#Imma still keep reading them tho 👉👈 just needed to get that off my chest#y/n I ride at dawn for you bitch I'm putting my foot down for you
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
05. September - Bathtub Girl
A lot of different triggers that I need to process and document.
I had very graphic nightmares last night. It started with me having to get married to my sister - which was so wrong. Then I dreamed of him. Being kept in a small, dark room. Being abused and something about the bathtub girl too.
Then, later today, I accompanied my roommate to the hospital. On our way there, during the bus ride, we had a conversation that reminded me of the bathtub girl too. I felt like crying. I was so close to having a full blown PTSD panic attack in the bus but managed to keep my calm. It made it feel like what I remember is real. At least it affects me.
Then later in the evening I watched a movie with my other roommate. Something about it triggered me too. The way the wallpaper looked in this hotel room. The dead people that were shown in the bathtub. I felt like I got so close to remembering the missing puzzle pieces. I felt scared I would have one of these bad movie like flashbacks that make me scream and cry in fear. I had to repeat to myself, I am safe. It is 2024. I am with R. and he is a safe person to be around. I am in his room. It is 2024. I am safe.
Then I went outside to smoke my last cigarette of the day and when I looked at the stars in the darkness, I was suddenly on that street again. In front of his house and I saw her face again. For a second. I saw it so clearly. When I went to my room again, I had to chant I am safe. I am safe. It is 2024. I am safe.
I'm scared to go to bed tonight. Scared of sleeping, scared of the dark. Scared of having nightmares, of having flashbacks. Scared of the missing puzzle pieces and of seeing her again. Of all of my memories, I fear her the most. I fear what he did to her, what he was capable of. I fear what he forced me to watch. And that he is still out there, that she is still out there and no one knows what was done to her. That no one ever found her.
#personal posts#tw abuse mention#abuse implied#ask to tag#now I feel close to tears again#tears of sheer fear and horror#I have to ground myself somehow#stop my hands from shaking#I think it's time to talk about her#but bringing her to light... it feels impossible#I can't give a name to what he did to her#so I'm sorry for not trigger warning this properly#i just can't say it#not even type it#tw trauma
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Former Young Avengers/MCU fan Staring at my inactive Disney+ subscription right now like
#*head hanging low on hands and knees* MCU WICCAN MCU WICCAN MCU--#this is so embarrassing oh god#like I saw the agatha spoilers on my lunch break and then during work i was literally having heart palpitations#thinking about fucking Wiccan oh god I love Wiccan#and they got fhe fucking lead actor from that very famous and popular gay show like-#sskdfslkdfdj stop giving me indirect hulkling hope at the same time#I am being catalpaulted back into the person I was in the 2010s#though in complete fairness to recent MCU i LOVED wandavision#so if anything of the recent mcu was going to get me it was going to be Agatha#but they've dropped the ball SO HARD on young avengers stuff I DID NOT EXPECT WICCAN#like can they commit to it? can they commit to this character?#do they know how much there is to Wiccan?#you may think all of these tags are embarrassing-#buddy you can't imagine the tags i typed out and then deleted because they were too - once again - 2010 cringey#agatha all along#agatha all along spoilers#natchat5#young avengers#billy maximoff#billy kaplan#mcu wiccan
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
one problem with felix is that I keep going 'oh you know what would be a completely logical consequence of the life circumstances he's experienced which are completely different than mine' where the answer is something I almost immediately recognize as being devastatingly relatable to myself
#AWFUL. HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING.#and then every time being like 'OKAY DAMN MAYBE NOT THIS THEN'#but on the other hand it MAKES SENSE AS COMING FROM WHATEVER BACKSTORY THING I WAS BUILDING IT OUT OF--#the thing about OCs in general is you can't help spilling yourself into them and it Feels Some Type Of Way every time I notice#but with felix it keeps happening upfront and I keep noticing immediately and going HEY STOP THAT.#[trait] or [feeling] or [preference] stems from a COMPLETELY different place for me!#why does taking wildly different paths from different starting points keep bringing me to the same horrifyingly telling destinations#or in the other direction-- 'oh I want him to have [trait] because that will be fun to roleplay and fits his concept'#'hmm I imagine a reason he might have [trait] would be [DEVASTATINGLY RELATABLE FEELING/ THOUGHT PROCESS]'#nooo oh my god that CAN'T be why. it can't be because of something directly inside of my me I have to think of something else#the thing is it's not JUST that it's devastating in the Too Real sense or devastating in the Too Revealing sense#or that it's embarrassing because it doesn't feel very creative#I also do!! want him to continue to be his own guy!! I don't WANT him to drift towards true self-insert#that kind of loses the shine for me a little :') it's better if he's-- like all my other OCs-- his own guy#whom I can also work through and/or project SOME!! stuff onto. SOME!! a normal dnd character amount!!! auughhh
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
'did leliana know about the background sebhawke marriage—' obviously. obviously. she didn't tell anyone because she thought it was very sad funny and that's all she has to say about it
#marian who fucking hates leliana: i can't believe she didnt tell everyone about my damning secret marriage to the guy who hates me now#leliana: surana stopped replying to my letters when i became justinia's left hand when will she write to me again... oh the hawke thing? id#something pretty sad about inquisition era leliana to me. where's her friends#anna's fic notes#sebastian and marian worked together bc for several years they were a very similar type of hypocrite#and the love was there but when one of you lets anders go and the other one invades kirkwall it's like. well. what good was it all.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate getting into something that has a canon(ish) sapphic couple, but I only end up caring about one of the two women 😭😭😭
#warrior nun? only cared about beatrice couldn't really get behind ava much#the locked tomb? INSANE for gideon. harrow is like cool I guess (I feel like I should like her more than I do idk)#and now dungeon meshi. I knoowwwww I'm going to love falin. 10 episodes in and I already find her relatable and awesome and so cool and sexy#AND SHE BECOMES A DRAGON LIKE FUCK MAN (she's still dead atm but soon soooooon)#marcille on the other hand?? I mean she's fine... but I'm not really drawn to her (I like namari a lot more tbh)#and the thing is I know part of it is the feminization of all three of them#I am not attracted to femininity pretty much ever (outside of a super sexed up version in which case gugh)#and ava and marcielle both have a very bubbly personality type that has never really drawn me in ever#they can have cool stories and I can enjoy them in that. but I have no desire to seek them out outside of that#and harrow... honestly I think it might be the way fandom sees her that makes me not care much about her?#also my feelings about the series as a whole by the end of nona probably don't help#BUT I definitely think a big part for all three is the femininity. none of their counterparts that I DO love are overly fem#(and HONESTLY I don't think harrow should be either and the fact hardly no one actually makes her butch the way I see her pisses me off)#((she CANONICALLY hated her long hair!!!!!!!!! stop giving her anything more than a buzz cut I'm going to attack you!!!!!!))#also. marcielle has green eyes and I'm sorry but I just can't 😭#I need every single character ever in existence to only ever have brown/black or gold/yellow eyes#stop with the blue and the green 😭 please#ANYWAY POINT BEING: I hate that this happens to me because I end up not getting obsessed with the ship#and mostly only getting into the single character but then I don't want to read fic about just one person#so I try out the ship stuff and shocker no one writes the other character in a way I like so I don't read it#and then I feel bad cause all my ships and main characters I'm obsessed over are men#and then I complain all the fandom favs and mcs in stories are men#but like I'm contributing to the problem!!!! but like I'm not attracted to hannibal but I like his personality#I'm not attracted to optimus but I love how fucked up his whole deal with megatron is#I DO love both luffy and zoro even though I'm not really attracted to either of them#the lotr/hobbit ships.... eh I love the world and I love dwarves and I will do anything for them so the characters don't matter much lol#AND THATS THE ISSUE 😭 the worlds of warrior nun and tlt and most of what i've seen of dungeon meshi don't really entrance me much#so I don't get into the ships for that. and I'm not attracted to both people in the ship. and I can't relate/project on both in the ship#and sometimes I find one character type less likable/annoying so that makes me not want to engage
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i just want to draw, this is getting ridiculous
yes it is counter intuitive to draw myself complaining, when drawing is presumably the source of said pain. but it's surprisingly cathartic.
#i started drawing again recently bc my hand hurt anyway#so how much worse could it get#the answer will not surprise you!#also my other wrist also hurts#presumably from using the mouse and typing? not sure#either way it's bullshit and i want a refund#for those wondering yes i have rested#a lot#yes i've worn braces and seen doctors and gotten tests done#nothing has worked and it's been almost 3 goddamn years#the answer is probably something like#'rest for 1-2 months straight with no exertion and then immediately go into PT for another few months to recover before doing anything else#but without a guarantee that would work i can't exactly do that#also i dont have access to PT anyway#im rambling i'll stop#sketch#sketch art
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
me: wakes up and uses my entire photo upload limit immediately
#me#i sure hope i don't feel the need to post any images today#(except maybe what i already uploaded)#if anybody sends me an ask and i don't respond to it today it might be that i'm just waiting until tomorrow where i can use an image#I CAN'T USE MY RUSS GIF EITHER#the one#the hand kiss one#unfair that he gets to kiss his hand#i want to#anyway#i used up my entire limit on the video i giffed yesterday and i didn't even get to upload the whole thing yet#i didn't expect a video for ONE SONG to be too much for the limit#but i guess with so many scene cuts#short scenes means more scenes#SO i was able to upload liiiike 120 gifs then#that's the limit??#i never actually knew what the limit was i'd just upload until it said i can't anymore#why 120 of all numbers#i was only like two gifsets away from being able to upload the whole video#and i didn't even get to the slow/fast versions of things yet#well i'll allow myself to post some today anyway even though i like to have everything uploaded and tagged and done#and in my drafts set to go before i post from it#yesterday i was like 'oh i can just upload this and then still maybe have some of the limit left over for the other video i've been uploadi#ng'#i was WRONG#but tomorrow i will. i. i think. unless i made too many slow/fast versions of things#I'LL STOP TYPING NOW BYE
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
trying so hard to rest my wrist but my lesbian pirates are calling to me like sirens and i've just found a bunch of old ideas i adore and GENDERENVY has been neglected for far too long and
#sami rambles#this is so irritating#also it's just instinctual yknow#i have to put my right hand under a cushion or something to stop it getting involved in the typing#but then it reappears and it takes me too long to realise and then i have to pause to do that#and typing with just my left hand takes like twice the time#so my meds have finally got my brain moving at a normal speed but now my hands can't keep up with my brain :D#loving life!!
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Spent this last week tired and in pain and I want to draw about it, but unfortunately aforementioned condition of being tired and in pain makes drawing impossible, so I guess I just have to suffer instead. Why this.
#i mean i know why this it's the hypermobility#but this is a new record for number of joints that hurt at once#hands and in particular thumbs; elbows; shoulders; and feet if i spend too long standing up#i can't currently use my thumbs because the thumb braces are the only thing stopping the pain getting worse#and that means no drawing because i can't hold a pencil#no piano or video games either which are other go-to distractions#i can't hold my phone properly#and i can only type in short bursts with fingers and no thumbs#i hate not being able to use my hands properly#the whole hypermobility thing has been causing me more and more problems lately and it sucks#i really need to get back to the doctor about it#but i'm so damn busy with work this month that i haven't had the time#and being so busy is just making things worse#driving is getting harder and i'm really worried that's going to become a problem#at least the thumb braces help with the pain#and physically prevent me from doing the things that'll make it worse#even if those things include. basically all of my hobbies#fuck this honestly#starting to come to terms with the fact that i am. a bit more physically disabled that previously assumed#happy disability pride month to me i guess :/#personal stuff
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
emotional. happy, pissed off, all that.
#hzrn#im cool with being annoying hypothetically but the real kicker is that no form of communication exists that i can really use comfortably#every single form of communication out there. i can't use it. i can't fuckin talk bc the sounds are too hard.#i can't fuckin type bc the buttons are too hard.#i can't fucking body and hands bc motions are too hard.#i can't fucking art because art involves all those things.#damn fucking WORDS are too hard. i put so much work into them and i get nothing. nothing!#who made the world this way?! why is it that all communication and socialization is so. fucking. hard!!!!#i tried! i really really fuckin tried man! all last year i tried so so hard.#i fell FLAT on my face. NO ONE liked me. they called me a retard! they said i was scary‚ awkward‚ hard to be around!#they did coordinated social attacks on me! then when i come back to school this year and i even *think* about trying again‚ they say#'nobody wants him here. and he should stop caring'#well right about then‚ is where she gives up! she has closed her eyes‚ she has given up hope!#i gave up trying to exist socially at school. the two paths are being myself and getting bullied‚ or not being myself and getting nothing#today was a good day for me all in all but idk.#the only reason i dont hold grudges like crazy is because of my object impermanence shit#although this might as well count as a grudge. i think it's somewhat justified though�� because in my case it's more like#if you hurt me seriously then i'll think about it pervasively until you do something to redeem yourself in my mind.#probably that's part of the reason im so scared of being myself and shit#this is probably the reason why im so scared of being myself. bc everytime i tried i got bullied‚ mocked‚ demeaned. and that shit piles up.#i just spend mosta my time not thinking about it! just like i spend mosta my time not thinking about who i am‚ my future‚ my past and on!#siiiigh. sigh sigh siiiiiiiiigh#it's ok to like this post by the way#in fact it's encouraged. im directly and clearly asking you to.#im not making this post for nothing. im making it in the hopes that someone will read what i said.#although really no one will. why the hell would anyone fucking read this. get fuckin real.#i know for certain i'll wake up tmrw with this at at maximum like. 1 like. 2 if im really the luckiest girl in the world.#and i know how i sound caring about likes and shit. but really all it tells me is someone read this. and i really fuckin need someone to re
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Jowa big
#yeah his dick hangs low#anyway why did i say that#oh right it's sushi's fault#git ur head outta the gutter sushi -rolling eyes emoji-#LMAOOO i waste so much time drawing the details underneath#but i can't stop myself from NOT drawing muscles even tho it gonna be covered up anyway#i have been looking for a rock band drum set for so long#i wanna play rock band again so bad but specifically the drums#my father... got rid of it bc i broke the kick pedal...#none of my guy friends still have their set#useless bunch tch LOOL jkjk... but i WANNA PLAY!!#you kno i look at jowa's hands and like i'm sure it would make someone feel a certain way to have em wrapped around their neck right??#they look big LOL why am i saying that#he just looks like the type of person that would put people in a chokehold w just one hand#i kno the stussy logo don't look like that just didn't wanna draw the actual one loool#art#killamonart#killaocs#jowa#joro#sketches#digital art#artists on tumblr#original#original character#oc
34 notes
·
View notes
Note
He'll growl and bite at Roman's dogs if they even boof at him.
Type Bingo || Accepting!
Rorschach's threat towards his dogs is quickly drowned out by a terrifying scream, the sort of primordial sound one might expect from an enraged pterodactyl. How dare he? Roman slaps the letter as though it had personally offended him and it did because the stinking vigilante had scored unusually high, far too high for the crime lord's comfort. "Why you-you! Little son of a bitch!" Roman roars. He's so angry he can't get any more words out, breaking out into furious Italian that even somebody fluent in the language wouldn't understand the rate he was talking at. Grabbing the paper, Roman tears it in two, Rocco and Dante's boofing escalating to frantic booms as they feed off the manic energy in the air. Roman was incandescent with rage and not even a bottle of whiskey was going to calm it.
#the-rorschach-mask#memes ;; bingo type#Did this a little out of order but I kept going back to look at it and laugh#Roman is so upset because Rorschach scored WAY higher than he expected#And he called him a filthy perv#Roman: Bitch the only filthy one here is you!#I feel my writing slipping but I'm holding onto that momentum with grim determination#So apologies if this response seemed janky I just#Can't stop laughing because Rorschach got him good hah!#Love the little edits btw#Rorschach be small but he be a handful even for Roman!
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
drawing my first comic in a WHILE and it is . SO stupid
#not art#head in my hands type comic#and im getting the like. cramp pain shakes my hand is fucking TREMBLING but i can't stop until the work is done etc
4 notes
·
View notes