#my grandfather just passed away. i’m not sure how to feel right now ‘cause he was suffering way too much in the past few days

[zepskies]

Omg really? Wow, thank you so much. That's honestly amazing to me, considering this was one of the hardest for me to write in Smoke Eater. 💞

(But after reading your wonderful review, thank you for making me cry. 🥹💗💗)

First of all, please don't apologize for the heartfelt thoughts you want to share with me. No matter how long or short, I love hearing what you think about my writing, and this is genuinely one of the best reviews I've ever received, because I can tell it came from the heart.

What's crazy is my mom and I also used to watch Chicago Fire together when she was trying to recover from surgery (where she had terrible complications and wasn't well for a long time). It became her comfort show, and I was happy to introduce it to her/have that bonding time where it kept her from thinking about her pain. But I'm so glad you thought to come here to perk yourself up after a rewatch.

honestly I have so many thoughts for each wonderful chapter but I would feel super guilty for spamming :’) this chapter in particular though, hits me harder than anything i’ve ever read before — not in a bad way!🤍

lol girl that's the best kind of spamming. I'd never be upset with that! 😂 Oh good, I'm glad it doesn't hit in a bad way. I was concerned about that for readers when I was first posting this part of the story. 💙

my mom had epilepsy, and I was her caretaker pretty much my entire life. I connect so much with this story because it, feels like i’m reading a mirror, if that makes any sense at all. with all the doctors and the worrying, it’s written so authentically, which is understandable after reading your author’s note. i’m so sorry you’ve experienced such difficult hardships and losses yourself honey, I offer my sincere condolences. and i’m sending you the biggest hugs 🫂🤍🤍

I'm sending you the biggest hugs right back, friend. I'm so sorry about what your mom went through, and what you went through too. Being a caretaker is not easy. I've seen it enough in my family that that's what I drew from in order to write this, so I'm glad it felt authentic to your experience. 🫂💞

now these lines/parts specifically had me crying like a baby lol. december of 2021, my mom had to have surgery at the start of the month. her recovery was going a little slow, but well. however she passed away overnight, 2 days after christmas, completely unexpected. the day before she had been doing so well too— she had more energy and was more mobile without needing as much assistance. came to find out later that’s something nurses call a surge? :/ either way, those moments in particular really tugged at my heartstrings ❤️‍🩹

I'm so sorry for your loss, my friend. It is blind sighting when it comes so unexpected like that. I haven't shared this publicly, but something similar happened with my grandfather this past December. His health declined suddenly, to the point we had to take him to the hospital. After seeming to get better after a few days, he went downhill even harder, and he passed away in mid-December. It's not the same thing as your situation, but I understand the feeling of "why did this happen like this?" But now he's at peace with my grandma. And your mom is free from her pain and discomfort too. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

this line too. I felt this way for so long after my mom died. I didn’t get the final cause for a while since she passed at home and not at a hospital, and to this day I wish I could go back. wish I could’ve done something different. but SUDEP (or, sudden unexpected death in epilepsy) is completely unpreventable so far. I just find it so cruel that this illness I spent my whole life helping her with, ended up taking her anyway and nothing I did mattered in the end. so reading that line, how she broke down, and everything she had been holding in, it really made my heart ache but I also felt less alone in a way.

And I'm sure you did everything you possibly could, just like the reader in this story. 💞 I didn't know about SUDEP, but I have a family member who takes medication for his epilepsy, so I'm going to be reading up on that. I'm so glad that this simple line made you feel less alone in any small way -- I also thought when I was writing that it not only fit what the character was going through, but that other people who've been caretakers for a family member like this would be able to identify with this feeling as well.

everything that followed, it’s like reading a reflection. I shutdown and just went through the motions afterwards too, but ohhh how nice it would’ve been to have a dean ❤️ his support, how he takes care of her, it’s so heartwarming. and it’s really comforting to read. <3

It's that awful "autopilot" thing that somehow allows us to get through the aftermath, in a way, right? If only we could all have a Dean to support us in those moments. Somehow, reading hurt/comfort fics help me feel better too though. 💓💓

a lot of my family distanced themselves afterwards which, it is what it is. that being said, the sentiment in this story of family isn’t always blood resonates with me a lot. my support system is really small, but they chose to be there for me unlike my blood relatives so, that theme in this story means so much — the way dean’s chosen family shows up for her as well, it’s so sweet. 💖

Ugh really? I'm sorry to hear that. 💙💙 But thank you for pointing that out -- that is the overarching theme of this story, a la SPN style. 🥹 Your chosen family can be just as powerful, if not more, than your blood family. And in this story, Dean's family is basically "adopting" the reader/you into it. 💕

I guess the gist of what i’m trying to say, is I wholeheartedly adore this series and it truly means so much to me 🤍 I appreciate your work so much, and I love the unique feeling each piece of your writing brings 💗💗 I know I may sound like a broken record but truly I don’t think I can ever put into words how much I love your blog. you are an absolute sweetheart, truly a light peeking out between cloudy skies 💞

Wow, I really did tear up of happiness. Thank you. 🥹🥹 I appreciate you right back for reading this story and connecting with it like you did. And I'm so glad that you enjoy my blog!! I've only been here on Tumblr for about 2 years actively, but connecting with people like you is what's keeping me here, and honestly gives me energy to write and express myself when I'm going through hard times.

This chapter specifically was very difficult for me to write for multiple reasons, as you saw in my AN, but again it makes me all the more grateful that this is the chapter you connect with the most. I'm very sorry for your loss though. I'm really touched that this story can give you some small comfort. 💞

(And no it's not too much. Thank YOU for taking the time to share this with me.)

Smoke Eater - Part 11

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x F. Reader 

Summary: Dean Winchester is the cocky, but well-respected Lieutenant at Firehouse 25. He leads by example, but he’s also known to break a few hearts. He’s starting to crave something he’s never had, though. Something stable. Something real. 

That’s when he meets you, on a truly terrible day, trapped in a rickety old elevator.   

🔥 Series Masterlist

Word Count: 5,400 Tags/Warnings: Major angst warning. But also major hurt/comfort.

Part 11: “Heart of the Home”

You sat very still.

Your hands were gripped together in your lap when the doctor entered. He was tall and lean and blonde, and he would’ve reminded you of your boss, except this man had a kinder face.

You were sitting on the edge of your grandfather’s bed, hoping the doctor would say the bloodwork and scans came back fine. That they wouldn’t need to admit George into the hospital for further testing. That he could go home in the morning.

But your life had never been quite that easy.

“Okay, George. I’m sorry, but we need to admit you,” said the doctor.

He explained that while the malignant tumor of his cancer had been removed last year, the scans that had been done last month hadn’t been able to detect the bright spots now formed on George’s lungs and lymph nodes.

The oncologist would have to confirm, but you all knew where this was headed. Likely those “bright spots” were tumors.

George nodded slowly at first, taking it all in. He asked what his options were, as far as treatment.

“Your oncologist will go over those options with you,” the doctor replied. “We’re going to move you up to Oncology shortly.”

George thanked him.

And you sat very still. 

A hand fell on your arm, finally earning your gaze. George’s face was oddly calm, though the worry in his eyes was for you. You realized that he’d gently called your name, though you hadn’t heard him. Your ears were ringing.

His mouth parted to tell you something, but nothing came out. So instead, he tugged you into his arms, and he heaved a long sigh.

“I guess we’re here again,” he admitted. He let out a chuckle. “The Lord does like his tests…but maybe that car accident was a blessing in disguise, huh?”

You heard his voice, but your mind was buzzing—mainly with the doctor’s words, and with a bone-deep feeling that threatened to consume you.

Your car, your fault. Options, again. Here again.

Your fault.

When you didn’t answer, George pulled away a bit to give you a questioning look.

“Sweetheart?” he tried. You laid a hand on his arm.

“You still haven’t eaten dinner, have you?” you asked. Neither had you, for that matter. “I’ll get us something that isn’t rubbery turkey.”

George blinked at you, confused, with a growing edge of worry.

“Isn’t Dean getting your meds? Why don’t you wait for him to—”

“I’m fine,” you said, already getting up to grab your purse. “I’ll be back.”

George called your name again, but the ringing in your ears was now pulsing in time with your heartbeat.

You made your way down the hall to the lobby at a brusque clip, even with your neck brace on. You didn’t see Dean, but he certainly saw you as he was walking back into the hospital. Frowning, he followed and called out to you.

You slowed when you saw him, and he soon caught up with you. He rested a hand on your back.

“Hey, where you goin’?" he asked.

“We haven’t eaten in a while. I’m going to the cafeteria,” you said. Though you seemed distracted, your eyes meeting his only briefly. It triggered a small spidey sense running up Dean’s spine.

He gave you your prescription pain medication, which you took with a small “thank you.”

“Everything okay?” he asked. “How’s George doing?”

“Fine. He’s resting,” you said. And by the look of you, that seemed to be true. But he spotted the tremble in your hands when you took the pill bottle package from him. It made him stop you when you tried to keep walking down to the cafeteria.

“Okay, you wanna run that by me again?” Dean asked.

You frowned, and your brows knit together. “What?”

“Is there something going on?” he pressed.

You sighed, but you didn’t answer him. You looked exhausted, and like you’d rather swallow your own tongue than speak. You shook your head and laid a hand on his wrist.

“I’m fine. Dean, thank you for everything you did tonight, but you still have to work tomorrow. Go home, get some rest,” you said.

You turned from him again. That was your first mistake. He reached out and grasped your hand to stop you.

“Hey, wait a minute,” he said.

“What?” you said in irritation. Your second mistake was not being able to look at him.

Dean was frowning in earnest now. Worry clawed in his gut, which was also telling him not to let you walk away from him. His grip shifted to hold both of your arms and move directly in front of you. He dipped his chin, trying to get you to meet his eyes.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he said gently. “I need you to talk to me.”

You inhaled a shuddering breath. A wave was rising inside you, threatening to pull you into its undertow. Your eyes burned, red and shining. Dean finally saw it when you raised your head, what little you could. Your mouth began to quiver, looking into his eyes. And it was done.

You could no longer be still.

Dean held you when you fell apart in the hallway.

Dean called out of work the next day to stay with you and George. Gordon would be acting Lieutenant until his next shift, and Dean was sure the man would take full enjoyment out of it.

He couldn’t care about that right now though. He felt that his place was here, being your quiet wall of support while you and George and the oncologist talked about treatment options.

“Normally, at the stage we’re in, I would be recommending chemotherapy,” said Dr. Benton.

“Normally?” you echoed.

“At the rate this is progressing, the treatment would have to be aggressive,” he said. His gaze focused on George. “However, at your age, and the current state of your overall health…at this point, I don’t think the rigors of treatment would be worth diminishing your quality of life.”

“What are you saying?” you asked. Your voice cut like a whip, earning the other men’s gazes.

George was the first one to lay a hand on your arm. “You know what it means, honey…he’s saying it ain’t worth it.”

“Of course, it’s worth it,” you retorted. With your brows furrowed and lips pursed, your eyes went from him to the doctor. “Just because he’s older, we shouldn’t even try? Is that what you’re saying, doctor?”

At that, even Dean drew closer to lay a hand on your back. Meanwhile, George squeezed your arm.

Benton shook his head gravely. “That’s certainly not what I’m saying.”

“How much time would I get, if I started treatment,” George asked, before you could volley further with the doctor.

Benton met the other man’s gaze.

“I’m going to be honest with you, George. You may get a few more weeks, or even a few months. But that is a best-case scenario.”

Dean drove you all home that day, after George decided to formally waive treatment. Both men knew you were angry in your silence, but neither one wanted to press you. Dean was too wary, and George was too tired.

Once he was settled in bed, you hadn’t even left his room yet before you grabbed a notepad off his desk and wandered into the hall. You started to make a list of things you still needed from the grocery store, among other things. Dean took that piece of paper out of your hands.

“Good. I’ll handle this,” he said. “Meanwhile, you can get upstairs, take a shower, take your meds, and get some sleep.” 

You frowned at him. “You haven’t slept either, Dean.”

“I’m used to it,” he said, giving you a wink and a slight smile. Overnight shifts could be a bitch at a firehouse, but Dean was no stranger to having his sleep interrupted.

“Listen to him, honey. He’s speaking sense,” George called from inside his room. The bedroom door was still open. He was settling into his bed while trying to stifle a cough. He sipped at a cup of water you’d brought for him.

Still, you looked reluctant. Dean held your arms and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Come on,” he said. “You were in an accident yesterday. You’ve had one hell of a night. You need your rest, or you’ll be no good to anyone.”

And if you pushed yourself much more, he worried that he’d have to take you right back to the hospital. Dean would rather not have that scare so close to the last one.

He brushed your cheek with gentle fingers. With the limited mobility your neck brace provided, you did your best to look up at him. Your eyes were softer.

“Okay,” you breathed.

“Okay? All right, good,” Dean said. You held onto his jacket for a moment, leaning against him.

“Thank you,” you whispered. You felt the burn of tears behind your closed eyelids. A few of them squeezed past and slipped down your cheeks. Dean held your face, brushing the tears away with his thumbs.

“Hey, I’m here, all right? Just let me help you,” he said. “You can lean on me when you need to.”

“I haven’t had that in a long time,” you admitted. “Part of me doesn’t know how to lean.”

“I get that,” Dean said. But you both knew that there was a long and difficult road ahead. He knew he didn’t have to remind you of it. “Whatever you need, you just tell me, okay? If nothing else, I’ve got a strong pair of shoulders.”

Somehow, you smiled. You pressed your forehead against his chest and inhaled deeply, to steady yourself.

“That you do, Lieutenant.”

You left for your room soon after, but not before you brought him down to you for one more tearful kiss.

Dean then watched you climb up the stairs to your room and nearly went up to help you, but he heard George call his name. Dean ventured back into George’s room and heeded his beckoning hand.

“You hungry? I can scramble some eggs or something before I hit the store. I think I saw two more left in the carton,” Dean said. George shook his head.

“Come ‘ere a sec.”

Dean took the hint and sat on the edge of the bed.

“I just wanna thank you for everything you did yesterday. Everything you’re still doing for us,” George said. He looked exhausted, but whatever he wanted to say was important enough to fight off sleep. He clasped a hand on Dean’s arm.

“You don’t have to,” Dean replied.

George huffed. A smile made his eyes gleam brighter.

“I knew you were a special one, Dean Winchester. Knew it the night I met ya, on your very first date with her.”

Dean blinked, but his pause drifted into a reserved smile.

“How’s that?” he asked.

“Well, I’ll be honest. When I heard that black Chevy rumble like hell’s wheels onto the driveway, I thought I might have to worry about you,” George chuckled.

Dean’s lips quirked.

“But no, it wasn’t that. It wasn’t the pretty flowers, or our mutual love of killer sharks,” George quipped, making Dean’s smile more genuine. “It isn’t your job either, or the fact that you saved her. I just believe that you can see a man’s mettle in his eyes…and I saw it in you when I shook your hand that night.”

Dean took that in for a moment. His hand flexed over his knee. Then he met George’s gaze, though he didn’t know what to say. Sometimes though, honestly was the best bet.

“I’m sorry for what you’re going through,” he said at last. “I can’t imagine…”

George let out a breath through his nose. “I’ll tell you a secret.”

He pointed to a picture frame on his bedside. It was of him and his wife, Sophie, when they were around your age and Dean’s. The couple were sitting on a pier that hung over the edge of the lake in their hometown.

She held him from behind, with her arms wrapped around his neck. Her long hair was being carried by the wind, getting swept into George’s eyes. He was smiling too hard to care.

“I’m ready to smile like that again,” he said. He had tears in his eyes, but he was already lighter at the thought. “I know it’s selfish…but I think I’ve missed her long enough.”

Dean paused. Then he cleared his throat past a small well of something he couldn’t name. He wondered if his dad ever had thoughts like that.

“Well, I’ll let you get your rest,” he said. “I’ll be back.”

George nodded and gave Dean’s arm a squeeze. “All right. Drive safe. Don’t hit any goddamn trees.”

He shot Dean a knowing wink, and it almost had the younger man laughing. George’s sense of humor was something else.

Dean then left George to rest. He made sure he had his wallet, keys, and your grocery list before he left your house and went back to the car. He checked his phone and saw a missed call…from Cas.

Dean was reminded again about Azazel, the kingpin who might’ve ordered a hit on his family. Along with the recent murders and arsons, and the connection from one of the victims to your company, Savage & Co.

Dean returned the call as he climbed into the Impala.

“Dean. Everything all right?” Cas asked. “Sam filled me in about the accident.”

“Yeah, everyone’s okay…well, not really. I’ll explain later,” Dean replied. “Listen, about what we talked about at the bar.”

“Yes.” Cas said gravely. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t go to your father about this yet.”

“Funny, I was thinking the same thing.” Dean sighed. “My girl just got some real bad news. I know you gotta keep digging into Savage & Co., but can you keep her out of it?”

“Is she all right?”

“Yeah, more or less…it’s her grandfather.”

“Ah, I see,” Cas said. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Thanks, man. I’d rather her just focus on what she needs to do right now, you know?”

“I get it. And believe me, we’re keeping the investigation of Nick Savage quiet for now,” Cas said. “But if we find something, or worse, if I can’t…I’ll likely need to question her. She works directly with Savage, and from what I can tell, she’s instrumental in bringing in and maintaining several of his major accounts.”

Dean stopped at a red light and took a moment to rub a hand over his tired face, rubbing his eyes. “You don’t really think she’s got any idea of what that asshole’s into.”

“I’m not saying she does. But in working so closely with him, perhaps she’s noticed things about her boss, and the company. Things she’s kept to herself, out of self-preservation.”

Dean frowned. He didn’t want to think about shit like that. It made his stomach churn at the thought of you working for someone who might be doing business with a crime lord, let alone Azazel.

“Well, when that day comes, give me a heads up, okay?”

“Will do.”

“Thanks, Cas.”

Dean offered to take another day off to help you, but you wouldn’t let him. He needed to go back to work, and you were able to arrange working from home for the next few weeks.

Even Nick couldn’t refuse to accommodate you in a situation like this. He knew very well that if he pushed you too hard, you’d go directly to HR.

So he backed off, and told you to take as much time at home as you needed. It allowed you to put him, and that afternoon in his office, away from your mind to focus on taking care of your grandfather.

Though you called your best friend the day you got home from the hospital, Andréa didn’t come by your house to see you and George until the end of the week. She cited mounting projects at work and some kind of tiff with her cousin Meg, but it all sounded like excuses to you.

However, she was gracious enough to bring dinner for the three of you on a Friday night. She cut up with George like normal, and even got him laughing, until a coughing fit forced him to stop. It also took most of the joy out of the rest of the evening.

While George went up to his room to rest, Andréa later joined you in the kitchen. You were washing the dishes, trying to focus on what you were doing. But your mind was buzzing continuously with future tasks and worries. Always, tasks and worries.

“How are you holding up?” Andréa asked. She rubbed your back, and you gave her a slight smile.

“All I can do is make him comfortable, for as long as possible,” you replied. There were tears in your friend’s eyes, but she dabbed them away with the back of her hand.

“What do you need? Anything, you just tell me,” she said.

It was a little easier for you to contemplate leaning on Andréa. You had been friends with her for years, and she was like another daughter to George.

On the other hand, asking Dean for help always made you hesitate. What you two had was still so new. You worried that this was too much for your relationship, too fast. 

“Well,” you sighed as you wiped your hands dry on a kitchen towel. You didn’t exactly want to talk about it, but there were things you had to start planning, even if you didn’t know the exact timeframe.

However, as soon as you opened your mouth to reply, Andréa’s cell phone rang. She held up a finger to you and checked it. To your surprise, she actually answered it.

“Hey, babe,” she replied with a smile. You heard Benny’s deep voice on the line, asking a question. “Yeah, I’m still here. I’m probably leaving soon though.”

She continued her conversation for a few more minutes, but you didn’t hear anything after that. A tension headache was sharp behind your eyes, while anger (yes, anger) rolled hot under your skin. Your lips pursed. You busied yourself with straightening up the kitchen until she continued her call for another few minutes.

“Sorry about that,” she said, finally turning her attention back to you. “So what do you need?”

You put away the last dry dish and turned to her coolly.

“Nothing.”

Andréa frowned. She knew there was something off with you, but her furrowed brows betrayed her confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” you repeated. “Don’t you need to head out, anyway?”

“No, I was just…what’s up with you?” she asked.

“What’s up with me is my grandfather’s dying!” you snapped. You left her in the kitchen, precisely so that she’d follow you out. You grabbed her purse for her and went to the front door, where you stepped out.

Andréa was dismayed and confused as she followed you out onto the porch. She raised her brows at you when you shut the door and crossed your arms at her.

“I know you, and this isn’t just about that. What’s the problem?” she asked.

“You can’t seem to detach from your boyfriend for more than five minutes to just be my friend. That’s the problem,” you replied. “But why should I be surprised? Like always, you’re too wrapped up in yourself to consider anyone else.”

Her brows knitted together; she looked hurt by your words, but also defensive.

“How can you say that when you’ve been exactly the same way?” she accused. “Since you met Dean, I’d be lucky to see you once a week—”

“I call you every week,” you began, counting the list with your fingers. “You’re always busy, but you never give me a day that works for you. And when we do make plans, you usually cancel. Why? Because you’re going sailing with Benny. You’re going to a restaurant, hours away, just to try the new sushi bar beer garden, or whatever the hell. Or you’re going on an impromptu road trip, or you’re planning a summer trip to Greece. Give me fucking break, Dre.”

By now she was frowning angrily, her arms crossed. “You’re mad at me because I have a life?”

“No. I’m happy for you that you found someone. I really am,” you said. “But we clearly live in two different versions of reality. I just don’t have the time or the energy to entertain yours.”

You knew you were being too harsh. You felt incredible guilt as soon as it all left your mouth…but part of you also felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest. The problem was, you still felt heavy. Just in a different way.

Both of you were crying when Andréa left your house.

All too soon, a week became a month. In that time, Dean called you every day to check on you. He spent most of his evenings with you and George when he wasn’t on shift. And when he was, sometimes Meg would drop in.

She understood your argument with Andréa, and she respected you for taking a stand when you needed to. She even confided you that she’d had similar frustrations with her cousin lately.

But Meg wasn’t your only visitor. Ellen had come a few times to bring you lunch and dinner, even breakfast, though you hadn’t asked her to. You realized then how close Dean must be to his friends at the firehouse, along with the Harvelles; Ellen also refused to take any money from you for the food.

By the end of the month, George mainly spent his days sleeping. Pain medication made his days nearly painless, but not without struggle. You were doing your best to care for him while continuing to work full-time from home. You were also exhausted, though you refused to admit it.

Today was a better day, however, because George was awake. He was also more aware of his surroundings than usual.

He stopped you from adjusting his pillow so you would sit down on the edge of his bed. He took your hand in his, brushing a thumb over the back of it.

“I’m okay with this, you know,” he said. You pursed your lips, but he stopped you from whatever you were going to say. “I don’t want to leave you. You know that…but I’m so damn proud of you. Your Gram was, and still is…”

Your lower lip wobbled as you tried and failed to keep your tears at bay. They stung in your eyes and slipped past your defenses, down your face.

“The house is yours. But if that’s too hard for you, just sell it,” he said, heaving a deep breath. “It’s just the bones. You’re the heart. And you always have been.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but not a sound would come out. You held his hand with both of yours and stared down at them. Until his voice once again commanded your attention.

“I always thought…moving to the city ruined my daughter. That we should’ve stayed in Lebanon. That maybe I gave her too much freedom, and I failed her somehow along the way,” George said. His eyes were heavy with old heartache. And yet, they soon began to lighten.

“But the day we lost a daughter, we gained one too,” he said. Then, he chuckled a little. “And I know I never failed with you, sweetheart.”

That proved to be too much for you. He pulled you into his arms like you were still a child, and he held you for a long time while you cried yourself out.

Though he eventually spotted Dean hesitating in the doorway. He’d probably let himself in with the spare key you’d given him.

George raised a hand from your back and silently beckoned Dean inside his room. He was getting tired, drifting off thanks to the morphine.

“Hey, lookie there. The boyfriend’s here,” George whispered with a bit of cheek. You sucked in a breath and raised your head, wiping at your eyes before you turned around. Dean met you with an attempt at a smile and a gentle hand on your back.

“Just got out of work?” you asked. He’d been on a 24-hour shift, and you’d missed him. You stood and stepped into his welcoming embrace. He dropped a kiss on your forehead.

“Yeah. I’ve got the next couple of days off,” Dean said. He greeted George next and asked him if he needed anything.

“Just some water,” the older man replied.

“I’ll get it,” you said with a sniff. “Need to start dinner too.”

“I already brought some food. You like Italian, right?” Dean said, with a subtle smile. It earned your sigh and a grateful smile. He knew very well that it was now one of your favorites. Italian meatballs always reminded you both of your first date.

“Thank you,” you said, grasping his hand. He squeezed yours with a nod, before he let you go.

When you were out of earshot, George cleared his throat past a wet cough. Dean reached over and grabbed him a tissue. George took it with a nod. Again, he encouraged Dean to come closer.

“I’m not worried,” George said, between deep breaths. “You know why?”

Dean just stared back for a moment. He genuinely had no idea what the man might say next.

“Tell me,” he said.

“My granddaughter’s strong. Always has been, because she had to be,” said George. “But you’re gonna be there when she’s not.”

Dean considered the weight of that charge. The anxiety in his chest felt familiar; like the day he got his badge at the Fire Academy, knowing then the responsibility he held in his hands.

That’s a lot to put on just three months of knowing this girl, came a more selfish thought. It sounded a lot like the guy he used to be, not too long before he met you.

But when Dean thought about you, and what you’d begun to mean to him…

He realized that he only had one answer.

“Yes, sir. I am,” said Dean.

George gave a tired smile. “Good man.”

And that night, an agreement was made. 

In the morning, your grandfather was gone.

Dean held you through what he thought was the worst of your heartbreak. But after that dour morning, it was like a switch flipped inside you.

In the days after George’s death, your shutters came up. You threw yourself into checklists and task after task—in funeral arrangements and planning and contacting distant relatives and friends.

This was your failsafe. Your version of “autopilot.” And these things needed to get done, after all.

But Dean worried when he no longer saw the softer side of you. Like your heart had been wrung dry. 

He inevitably had to go back to work, but in between the demanding hours of his schedule, he tried to get you to slow down. He saw the warning signs of you running yourself into the ground. He just didn’t know how to help you land.

So Dean picked up slack where he saw it, often without you asking him to. He began fixing the house, one section at a time. He enlisted Benny’s help, since he actually had a small construction business. Dean even paid for the materials himself without you knowing.

And one sunny afternoon, he took a break from repaving part of the cracked and uneven driveway to grab a beer inside. You were sitting at the kitchen table with stacks of papers all around you, your cellphone on speaker as some kind of elevator music continued to ring on a loop.

“Can you believe I’ve been on hold with the funeral director for 20 minutes?” you told him in irritation. But you didn’t truly take sight of him until he came back from the kitchen.

He wore a familiar ensemble of jeans and black undershirt with a plaid shirt, rolled up to his elbows. He was covered in a fine layer of sweat, and his hands were dusty and stained from his work on the driveway. Dean looked tired, and that made you feel guilty.

Meanwhile, he frowned and popped open a beer. “You want one of these? Looks like you could use one.”

You shook your head. With a sigh, you hung up the phone. You’d try calling again later. Instead, you focused on the next item of your checklist for today.

“Food. Because we’re gonna need to eat after the service,” you inclined your head. “Okay, still need to come up with a list of caterers, because I don’t think I can cook for that many people.”

Dean nodded at that. “Let me talk to Ellen. She’ll give you a good price, and her food is good.”

You looked up from your notepad and considered him thoughtfully. You wouldn’t have thought to cater from a bar, but he was right. Ellen had great food at the Roadhouse.

“Okay, I’ll call her,” you said.

“No, I’ll call her,” Dean insisted. He set down the beer on the table and leaned his palms flat on its surface. “Sweetheart, I told you I’d help you with all this. You don’t have to do it by yourself.”

“Dean, you’ve done enough,” you replied. Your brows drew together stubbornly. “You’re paving my driveway right now, for God’s sake! This is my responsibility, not yours.”

Dean frowned, making you sigh. You leaned back in your seat and crossed your arms.

“Look, we’ve only been dating for three months,” you said. And in your mind, a good chunk of that time had been spent in the worst hell of your life. “This right here? It’s a lot. I’m not expecting you to deal with all this…”

You bit your lip, and your gaze fell away from his as your insecurities took hold. The thoughts that had been plaguing you every night since this all began, on the night of the car accident.

“And…if you’d rather take a break from us for a while, I’d understand,” you said.

Your voice was more collected than you felt. But that didn’t make it any easier when Dean stared back at you, mostly incredulous. You even thought you saw a thread of hurt there, and it made your heartache worsen.

Dean came around to your side of the table. He dragged a chair back and sunk into it, facing you directly.

“You think that’s the kind of guy I am?” he asked.

You immediately shook your head. You weren’t trying to upset him, or imply that he wasn’t reliable, or trustworthy, or whatever was running through his head. You were just trying to be realistic.

You’re so pragmatic it hurts, as Andréa had often told you.

“Dean, it’s not that…” you began, a bit helplessly. “I just—”

“Just, nothin’.” His chair scraped toward you as he reached out for your hand. He made sure you looked him in the eyes when he said this next part. 

“I’m not leaving you with this.”

Your gaze met his, though you desperately tried to keep your heart from rising into your throat. 

“I’m not leaving you,” Dean said. His tone, his eyes, his hold on your hand was firm.

For a moment, you stared at him, unblinking, even as tears swam in your eyes. 

He’s not leaving you. 

Not like everyone else in your life.

You were grateful. Too grateful, even, for words.

When you finally broke down into tears, Dean realized what an idiot he’d been. Your wall of stoicism had been just that—a flimsy wall. Now it was shattered, and so were you.

It scared him just how much, as he gathered you onto his lap and into his arms. You didn’t seem to care that he was dirty and covered with sweat. You clung to him strong, and he held you back just as tightly.

“No matter what I did, it wasn’t enough,” you confessed. “You save people all the time. I couldn’t save anyone in my life.”

Dean frowned. He cupped the back of your head, and he felt your tears sliding down his neck. His voice was thick with emotion when he was able to reply.

“Oh, baby. It’s not your fault.”

“I can’t…I can’t do anything. Anything that matters.” Your voice was a broken whisper. It damn near broke his heart. 

“Now you know that’s not true,” he said. “I’m not gonna let you lie to yourself like that.”

You trembled and heaved with sobs, and he continued to hold you.

Just be there, Sam had told him, when Dean had called him from the hospital. Sam reminded him again last week, when George finally passed.

Is that all I’m supposed to do? Dean thought. His brows furrowed, but he tried to hide his frustration.

He was used to people depending on him. He led a team. Before then, he’d looked out for Sam all his life. Dean had never had to help someone get through this kind of grief though. He just wanted to help you, in whatever way he could.

Because he was worrying, just like you. That whatever he did, it wouldn’t be enough.

But he couldn’t leave you. 

I can’t, and I won’t, he thought. So he took a breath, and he said the first true thing that came to mind.

“You’re the strongest woman I know, you know that?” Dean said. He spoke low and steady, but with the conviction he felt. “And that’s a tall order, considering some of the badass ladies I’ve got in my life.”

A smile tugged at his lips when he considered people like Ellen and Jo, Jody and Donna. He might’ve lost his mom, but he and Sam hadn’t lacked when it came to influential women in their lives.

“But I saw it the day we met. I see it every time we’re together,” he continued. “You work hard as hell. You take care of everyone around you…”

You were still quiet, trying to stifle your crying.

Dean let out a breath. “Man, if you only knew how much you’ve been helping me. Keeping my damn feet on the ground with this whole…arsonist mess my dad’s been investigating. Digging up the past, my mom, the whole damn thing.”

With a sniffle, you uncurled from him, just enough to reveal your face. Your grip on his shirt loosened, your palm flattening on his chest. He held your hand there and turned his lips to your forehead. He sensed that you were calming down. That you were listening.

“That matters to me,” he told you.

You nodded and tightened your hand on his. “Me too.”

Your voice was still shaky, but it sounded a little stronger.

“See? You might as well face it.” Dean grinned. “You’re a badass chick with a big heart.”

You snorted in response. Your lips even twitched at a smile. He spied it when he looked down at you. And you rested easier against him as your tears subsided.

“Thank you,” you whispered. He dried your cheek with a brush of his hand. 

“For what?” he asked.

“For staying.”

AN: So first off, I'm sorry for the gritty "reality" of this one. It's just where the story took me, though it serves a purpose narratively and for both the reader and Dean's character development.

But also, I think this has just been on my mind, since both my grandmother and great uncle (brother and sister) died within a year of one another due to different forms of cancer. My great uncle passed in May of this year, and my grandmother two years this past October.

Again, I'm sorry if this one was too heavy, but art does imitate life and this was probably my brain trying to express those emotions I couldn't fully make sense of at the time. George will be missed, but will still be felt in the rest of this story, as I'm sure any of you who've lost close family members will understand. 💙

Next Time:

The identity of Azazel will finally be revealed in Part 12. But first...

You nodded. “By the way, it was nice of Sam and Eileen to come. And Meg and Cas.” 

Dean smiled.

“They can be your people too,” he said. “If you want ‘em to be.”

You couldn’t help it. Your tears brewed and bubbled over. And you moved slowly across the couch to twine your arms around his neck. Dean’s lips tugged at a smile, and he welcomed you with an arm wrapping around your waist.

Both of you were still wearing the same clothes you’d been wearing all day; you in your black dress and Dean in his slacks and white buttoned-down shirt, though by now without the jacket, and the shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

You were infinitely exhausted. But one thing had become clear to you over the past few weeks.

“Thank you. Thank you for today, and for every day since we met,” you said shakily.

Keep Reading: PART 12

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

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[danishphoner]

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[gothidecorem]

Not Alone

A Tom “Iceman” Kazansky x reader comfort one shot

1362 words

A/N: I’ve been dealing with waaayyyy too much the past few days and needed to get my emotions out somehow. The way I see it: big bad horrible Navy man dies, I need sweet ray of sunshine Navy man to swoop in. I used the gif of his dress whites because besides the fact that he’s adorable in them, the only time we see him in his blues is…

I also included the scrapbook pics I mentioned at the end of the story.

TW: mentions of abuse, allusions to sexual abuse, generational trauma, grief. Most of the story is under the cut.

About face

“He will truly be missed”

Present arms

“Your grandfather was a great man”

…military honors…

“He sure loved to be in the cockpit of a P30”

Fire

It was all starting to become too much. The pavilion was feeling 100 times smaller with each passing second. Everyone had something nice to say about him which made you wonder if you had fallen into an alternate reality. In your reality, he was none of these things. He was a horrible man.

“He was a father who cared deeply, and could be strict at times.” You mean when he threw your mother to the floor in front of her siblings? When he would… No, bite your tongue, now’s not the time.

“He showed up to all of the boys’ football games, when he could.” Of course you were hearing this second hand but as far as you knew, he didn’t show up for jack shit. Maybe he went to your cousins’ games but otherwise he was too self-centered.

Hearing all of these things massively contradicted everything you had known about the man. It contradicted all of the trauma he caused for your mom and aunt. If anything, this man should have won an Oscar for how well he hid all of the smarmy shit he’s done in his life. One of your cousins was beside himself because he didn’t know how to feel. He didn’t have a relationship with the man either and he didn’t know how to process it. But with him being 13 years younger and not quite old enough to learn all of the family trauma, you try your best to console him but feel like you fell flat when he needed you.

The entire situation was suffocating and you needed some air. Finding a spot on the far side of one of the cremation walls, you collapse. Just needing to somehow catch your breath. Taking in your surroundings to ground yourself; counting the trees, counting the birds, closing your eyes and pretending you just don’t exist for a few moments. That was, until you felt a hand on your shoulder. Looking up, your eyes locked onto another set that were all too familiar.

“I was wondering where you ran off to.” Tom said, sitting down next to you.

“Careful, don’t mess up your uniform.” You say, wiping away some tears.

“I’m more worried about you right now.” He says, giving you a look. Having known Ice as long as you have, he knows most of the story about why you don’t have a relationship with your grandfather. You could even see him trying not to make a face during the ceremony.

“Aside from the lies and finding my pictures in his photo album yesterday, I’m-“

“I’m sorry, you what?” the world seemed to slow when you heard the tone change in his voice from concern to anger.

“My pictures. He had pictures of me from when I was 3, 6, and 7 or 8 in his scrapbook. I couldn’t even explain the feelings that have been swirling around in my head since then.” Other than the fact it made you want to vomit.

“Do you know how he got them?”

“No. Neither mom nor I know how because she sure as shit didn’t send them to him. He even had a newspaper clipping from my grandparent’s anniversary announcement. I mean, I get at one point they were in laws but it doesn’t make it any less disturbing.”

“On the bright side, it’s all over. You don’t have to worry about running into him anymore, having to hide your daughter from him anymore, it’s done.” He says, standing up. After brushing his uniform off, he offers you a hand, helping you up from the ground. “Speaking of which, where is she?”

“She’s off, running around with the cousins.” As soon as you say that, the 4 kiddos came racing around the corner.

“What’s eating at you?” Tom asks, looking down at you noticing the far off look on your face again.

“The same question that’s been playing over and over again in my mind since I was about her age…” you say, pointing at your daughter.

“You’re not disposable. I promise. You’re worth more than you realize.”

“It definitely doesn’t seem that way. My grandfather used & abused my mother and treated her like scum therefore I didn’t have a grandfather. My dad thought that life was better 3 hours away and he finally had sons instead of a daughter, so I’m more or less an afterthought. My ex thought making up some whack job story about how he was kidnapped by men with guns was the proper way to get out of the relationship instead of talking to me about what was going on in his head. Both of them also deciding their relationships with my daughter wasn’t important either. No one ever stays, they always leave.” At this point you were on the verge of tears and holding them back was about to not be an option. Before you could even muster another thought, a strong set of arms pulled you in tight.

“Look at me.” Tom said, pulling an arm away so he could lift your chin up to look at him. “You are not responsible for any of their actions. None of that is your fault. You can’t blame yourself for them not knowing what they had and lost. Not everyone leaves. I’m still here for you and I’m not going anywhere.”

“You say that, but the other shoe is always waiting to drop.” Before you could say anything else, your full name was flying from his mouth.

“I’m. Not. Going. Anywhere.” He emphasized every word. At this time, Ron rounded the corner.

“Hey, I was wondering where you two ran off to.” He said, then noticing the tight squeeze Ice currently had you in. He gave you both a knowing look.

“And besides being stuck with me, you’re stuck with this one as well.” Tom said, smirking.

“I’m like glitter. Just when you think I’m gone, POOF, there I am.” That garnered a giggle from you.

“I love you both, I truly do.” You say, side hugging the both of them.

“One of us, maybe a bit more than the other.” Tom joked, placing a kiss on your cheek. Ron scoffed, playfully.

“I can’t believe you’d question my love for her. I’d protect her like she was my own-” Tom, living up to his callsign, shot Ron an icy glare. Ron, living up to his, tipped his hat and slid his way out of the conversation.

“Is this your way of asking me out, Kazansky?” You ask, playfully, but blushing at the same time.

“Not the time or place, darling. But, if you’d be up for it, maybe I’ll officially ask when we’re out of here.”

“While I enjoy the thought, there’s a little someone you might need to get permission from first.”

“TOM!” you hear your little girl yell at the top of her lungs, just now realizing he was here. She ran over and practically jumped into his arms.

“Hey kiddo! You probably didn’t recognize me in full uniform, did ya?” he asks as she grabs his hat and places it on her head.

“C’mon, let’s get out of here.” You say, as he readjusts your daughter to sit better on his hip and using his other arm to wrap it around your waist.

“Mom, I’m starving.” Your 5 year old says.

“Since it’s a long drive home, yes, we can stop and get food.”

“Sounds like you’re taking me up on that offer.” Tom whispers in your ear.

“Zip it, Kazansky.” You say playfully, placing a kiss on his cheek.

“GET A ROOM!” You hear Slider yell across the parking lot. Whipping your head around to say something, you look back and see that Maverick & Goose have already taken care of it for you, simultaneously smacking him in the stomach.

You didn’t know what the future held, which terrified you. But in the present? You had your daughter, you had Ice, you had your friends, and that’s all that mattered.

The scrapbook pics I found:

It’s been a couple days and the feeling still makes me massively uneasy. But, as stated, he’s gone. I don’t have to worry about him anymore.

[newtthetranswriter]

Finding the truth

Paring: Yuji Itadori x gn! Reader

Summary: Being Yuji’s best friend before he goes to Jujutsu tech and him hiding the truth from you leads to a miny argument and sharing feelings.

Warnings: Yuji is kinda mean and stupid, Sukana trying to bite reader.

Word count: 3768

A/n:Just some angst to comfort I wrote for Yuji. enjoy and remember in everything I write all characters are aged up to college age. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

I have been friends with Yuji for a while, but I haven’t seen him in five months. You see, Yuji transferred to a school in Tokyo shortly after his grandfather passed away. I completely understand it, getting away from a place that was once full of happy memories can really help with the grieving process. The only thing is he’s been going there for half a year and I have yet to meet any of his friends, I haven’t even visited him at school. We talk over text and call all the time, but everytime I suggest I come visit he changes the subject. It feels like he’s hiding something. And I know you must be thinking, “oh you just like him” but that’s not it he’s like a brother to me and having not seen him in so long hurts.

That’s why today I've decided I’m going to surprise him. I just got to Tokyo, the only problem is I have no clue where the school is or what the name is. I have no idea how to find my friend without telling him I’m here and making him come find me. I spent about an hour pondering what to do. If I don't know the name of the school, or the location, there is no way to find it. I guess the only option is to call him. I grabbed my phone and called the pink haired idiot.

“Hey Yuji, I need to ask a favor.” I said as he answered the phone.

“Sure Y/n, what’s up?” Yuji asked. I could make out the sounds of people talking on the other line before Yuji snapped at them to be quiet.

I couldn’t help but laugh at that, “ Oh, well, I kinda need you to come pick me up from the train station.”

There was a pause before he responded. “Umm, why are you at the train station? I thought you agreed that you wouldn’t come visit.” It was obvious he didn’t want me there, and it hurt a bit. He’s one of my best friends who I haven’t seen in months and he just doesn't want to see me. 

“Well, I thought I’d surprise you with a visit cause last time we talked you seemed stressed. I just wanted to hang out with my best friend and meet the friends I’ve heard so much about.” I responded feeling like this was a stupid idea, and that I’m losing my best friend. “ but if you really don’t want to see me, I’ll just go home and you won’t hear from me again.”

“Y/n, that’s not what I meant, there's just been a lot going on recently and I don’t have time right now.” He said giving the same excuse he’s given every time I offered to visit. “Please understand that, just go h-”

“ Hi, I’m Nobara Kugisaki, one of Yuji’s friends here, don’t listen to him. We will be there in twenty minutes. Can’t wait to meet you.” A girl said, having taken the phone from my friend, as i heard Yuji telling her to give him back his phone.

“Ok, see you soon I guess?” I responded as the line went dead.

P.O.V change to Yuji’s dumbass

“Why would you do that Kugisaki? They don’t know anything about Jujutsu Tech, they think I just left because my grandpa died.” Yuji said to his friend as she just smirked at him before grabbing his and Megumi’s arms and pulling them off the school grounds towards Tokyo.

“ Well, It’s shocking to know you have friends outside of school, and so I need to find out what is wrong with them. It’s hard to believe someone would willingly travel to see you.” Nobara said, rolling her eyes finally letting the boys go.

Megumi just looked at the two confused as to what was going on and why he was being dragged along. “ Why was I dragged into this? I don’t care.”

Nobara just turned her head slightly and said “Well, someone has to be able to keep this idiot in check so he doesn’t send his friend home after they made the journey here to see him. And you can do that with one of your shikigami or just hold his mouth shut.” She shrugged at the last bit before facing the path in front.

“Fushiguro, please tell Kugisaki that this is dumb, we can’t bring a non sorcerer to Jujutsu tech. It’s dangerous.” Yuji said, trying to convince his friend to agree with him.

The ten shadows user just rolled his eyes and kept walking not caring for their stupid bickering. But he could say he was intrigued that someone would want to be friends with the brainless idiot. The walk to the train station consisted of more of the same, after about half an hour they arrived.

P.O.V change back to Y/n

I had been waiting for Yuji and his friend to come get me for the train station, hoping to get some answers as to why he’s been hiding stuff from me and being rude. I really hope it wasn’t something I did. I broke out of my thoughts scanning the crowd once again for my pink haired friend. After looking for a moment I spotted the familiar two toned hair, with a brunette and a guy whose hair looks like a sea urchin. I stood up and made my way towards them.

“So Itadori, where’s this friend that you don’t want us meeting?” The brunette said, looking around.

I smiled slightly as I got closer. “That would be me, I’m Y/n Y/l/n, It’s nice to meet you.” I introduced myself glad to be meeting Yuji’s friends even if he didn’t want me here.

The girl looked at me and smiled. “I’m Nobara Kugisaki, and the one who looks like he’d rather be anywhere else is Megumi Fushiguro. It’s lovely to meet you. I’m sorry Itadori was rude over the phone, it seems he’s an idiot.” 

I just chuckled at her comment, waved at Megumi and then turned to Yuji. I could see him shy away from my cold glare knowing that I’m upset and rightfully so. “Yuji Itadori, you are an ass. I just wanted to surprise you and you act like it’s a personal attack. Is it wrong to want to see my best friend after almost half a year?” I snapped at him. 

He looked almost scared, while his friends just looked shocked that i’d call him out in public. “Why don’t we go back to Jujutsu tech and you guys can talk this out in private and not in the middle of a train station.” Megumi offered, sensing this was probably going to turn into a scene if it was handled quickly.

“Fine, lead the way but I’m not talking with him, until he apologizes and explains everything.” I motioned for someone to lead me to my friend's school.

The walk to Jujutsu tech took about thirty minutes but it felt so much longer because it was spent in silence. It seemed like Megumi and Nobara didn’t want to get into mine and Yuji’s fight, while Yuji hasn’t said anything since I spoke to him on the phone before they came to get me. It was pissing me off, he basically told me to get lost, and now won’t face the fact that he’s been a shit friend for the past almost six months.

Arriving at the school I was shocked, “This is a school, it looks more like an ancient temple.” I continued staring at the “school”. I failed to notice a tall man wearing a blindfold walking toward us.

“Hey, who’s the new kid?” I jumped as I finally noticed the white haired giant. His face was pointed in my direction so I assumed he was looking at me. I’m really confused, who is this guy and why is the school in an old temple.

Megumi stepped in front of me and addressed the man. “ Gojo, This is Y/n, they are one of Itadori’s friends from before he joined Jujutsu tech. They came here to see him as he has apparently been avoiding them since he came here." He explained who I was and why I was here. It was honestly the most I had heard him speak since I met him thirty minutes ago. It was kind of shocking as he seemed like the type to stay quiet.

“Yeah, and Itadori tried to make them go home, after they spent time and money just to come visit him. What an ass am I right?” Nobara said, nudging me in the side.

The man I now know as Gojo turned towards Yuji. “Why would you do that, it's awfully nice of them to come all this way to visit you. And Y/n welcome feel free to ask any questions you may have, Yuji will be happy to answer them and give you a tour of the school. Anyway, Kugisaki and Megumi, you're coming with me, you have a mission. Have fun you two.” He said the last bit with a smirk and dragged the other two away without giving anyone a chance to protest.

I just looked at Yuji as he stood there in shock before turning to me and finally speaking. “I’m sorry I was being a jerk. If you follow me I'll show you around." I just watched as he turned and walked away. It took me a moment to realize what was going on before following after him.

We walked in almost complete silence as he showed me around the school. He showed me the dorms and classrooms, only talking when saying what a place was. When we headed back outside, I finally said something having grown tired of the awkward silence. “So Yuji, what is really going on? That guy with a blindfold said your friends had a mission, what did he mean? And why have you been keeping this from me?” I was ready to get some answers.

“It’s a lot to explain, let’s go sit down and I’ll do my best to explain.” He answered, guiding me to an open field. We both sat down and I waited for him to start explaining everything to me. “You see, this place is called Jujutsu tech. It is one of two schools here in Japan for learning Jujutsu sorcery.  Jujutsu sorcery is what we use to exercise cursed spirits using cursed energy.” Now I’m really confused what the fuck is cursed energy, as much as I wanted to say that I kept quiet letting him continue. “Cursed energy is basically negative energy powered by negative emotions, Sorcerers learn how to harness this energy to destroy cursed spirits. Cursed spirits are made from the cursed energy that leaks out of non sorcerers because they don’t know how to control it.” He explained curses and cursed energy.

“Ok but why are you going to this school, how did you get roped into all of this?” I wondered how he got here.

He paused for a second, almost like he was debating how to tell me something. “You see, the night my grandpa died, I met Fushiguro. He told me that I had picked up a cursed object and it was crucial that I gave it to him because it was extremely dangerous. Only problem was I didn’t have it, I had given it to a classmate in the occult club. When he heard that he made me show him to the school where they were trying to open the object. By the time we got there it was overrun by cursed spirits also trying to get the object. I tried to help out but I almost got Fushiguro killed. In order to save him I had eaten the object because he had previously said it would boost the strength of a cursed spirit if it ate it, and figured it would work on me. It kind of worked but instead of just boosting my strength I became the vessel of an ancient cursed spirit known as Sukana and now I'm here at Jujutsu tech. They’re using me to find all twenty of his fingers which are cursed objects and when we find all of them, they’ll make me eat them and then kill me to get rid of Sukana for good.” He said leaving me speechless.

How was I supposed to respond to my best friend telling me he was being fed fingers just to be killed down the line? It made no sense. “They’re just going to kill you, can’t they destroy this Sukana without killing you? How is that fair, you’re helping them just to die?” I asked, upset at the idea.

“It’s okay, Y/n. I’ve accepted it. I'm going to help save as many people as possible before that happens. It’s for the best, without Sukana then he can’t come back and hurt anyone ever again.” He said, confident in his choice but still looking sad.

I was completely stunned, he was okay with this? He was fine with sacrificing himself for ‘the greater good’. How am I supposed to accept this? “So you just weren’t going to tell me? You were just going to let these people kill you and make me think you just gave up on our friendship. I can’t believe you, I thought you were better than that.” I said trying to figure out if he was going to keep this from me till the end.

He turned away avoiding eye contact. What he said next was so quiet I could barely make it out, but it still shook me to my core. “I don’t want to lose you.” I looked at him wide eyed. How could he think he would lose me?

“You would never lose me. Sure I’m upset that you didn’t tell me and were apparently going to keep it from me until you died, but you won’t lose me. Yuji you’re my best friend, when you told me to get back on the train and go home it nearly broke me. I thought I had lost you. I can’t go through that again, I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I may not be able to fight these curses or whatever but I can still be your friend.” I told him. It really did hurt that he hid this from me, I’m supposed to be his best friend and it hurt to think he didn’t trust me enough to tell me what was really going on. 

He finally turned to truly face me and I could see the worry in his eyes. “I know that Y/n, you are my best friend as well. I just don’t want something to happen to you. It’s dangerous being a Jujutsu Sorcerer, I did want someone or something to use you against me. There are bad people who use Jujutsu to hurt others and I can’t imagine what would happen if someone hurt you.” He said, voicing his worries. “ I care too much about you for you to be dragged into this life. That’s why I didn’t tell you, I thought that even if you hated me for it at least you would be safe. I can live with the thought of you hating me as long as you are safe, but if you got hurt or worse because of me I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.” I just sat silent as I watched him think for a moment, completely amazed by how much he was opening up about it. 

There was a brief pause as he thought and I took everything in, he said something I never would have expected. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I like you, as more than a best friend. And the thought of you getting hurt by a curse or a curse user scares me so much. It’s fine if you don’t feel the same, but you asked me why and I just had to tell you. If you decide that this is all too much and want to leave that’s fine. You said I would never lose you but I wouldn’t blame you if all this changed your mind.” I froze, he just said he liked me like me, and kept all this from me because he thought it would be easier to push me away than watch me get hurt.

It left me speechless. I sat for a second thinking of a response. Sure I like him, he’s my best friend but hearing his confession and everything he’s going through has made me realize something. I love Yuji Itadori. He is so kind and caring that he tried to push me away to save me from monsters that are invisible to most of the world. He put me at arms length to try and protect me from a secret world below my own. He was willing to sacrifice his own feelings not only to save me but to save countless lives. Yuji is truly an incredible person.

Coming to terms with my realization, I launched myself towards him, wrapping my arms around his chest and barring my head in the crook of his neck.“I like you too, Yuji. I’m not changing my mind, you can’t get rid of me that easily. Like I said I may not be able to see these curses but I’m here for you, whether as best friend, significant other, or just someone to talk to when it all gets to be too much. Just remember that okay.” I said not lifting my head from his neck. I felt him wrap his arms around me and lean his head against mine.

We sat there for a few minutes just enjoying each other's embrace. I had almost fallen asleep in his arms when I felt what felt like someone opening their mouth against the side of my head where Yuji was leaning against me. It was strange, not just because Yuji wouldn’t try to bite me, but because he hadn't turned his head and his cheek was resting in my hair. As I was about to lift my own head to see what was going on, I felt sharp teeth scraping against my scalp and pulling my hair. I yelped and launched away from Yuji looking at him confused, being completely startled to see a mouth had formed on his cheek as well as the strange mark under his eye had split open to reveal a small red eye. Yuji was also startled by me jumping and when he noticed the mouth on the side of his face he slapped his hand over it.

“What the hell Sukana? That’s not okay. Don’t bite people, especially Y/n.” He said, I assumed talking to the curse who inhabited his body.

I looked at him for a second before finding the words to express how I was feeling. “Why is there a mouth on the side of your face and why the fuck did it bite me?” I was completely confused by what just happened.

He paused for a second keeping his hand over where the mouth had formed. “That is Sukana, the curse that is currently living in me. He’s an ass and likes to just pop up randomly by forming a mouth on my face or hands. I’m sorry he bit you, if I could hit him I would.” He explained what just happened. “Are you okay though, he didn’t hurt you did he?” He asked with concern written over the part of his face not covered by his hand.

I nodded at him, about to say that I was fine before another mouth opened in the back of his hand and began speaking. “They're fine, they jumped out of the way before I could do anything. And don’t call me an ass, you brat.” The mouth said in a deep voice that gave me goosebumps. Yuji responded by slapping his other hand over the mouth and looking at me embarrassed by the second soul living in his body.

“Again I’m sorry about him, are you sure you’re okay?” he asked again.

I smiled at him. “I’m fine Yuji, he didn’t hurt me, gave me a fright more than anything. And I may not completely understand but I bet it’s difficult dealing with another mind living in you and fighting for control.” I said, trying to reassure him that everything was fine. 

He responded with a small nod. “It’s good that you’re ok. I’ll try to get him to stop being an ass. But you’re also right in the fact it’s hard to deal with him, it’s like having a fly that won’t stop buzzing near your ear.” he said with a light chuckle. I responded with the same light laugh.

“Hey Yuji, It’s getting late, we should really think about calling it a night.” I noticed that the sun had set and stars lit up the sky. He also looked to the stars for a second, also registering it was rather late.

He turned back towards me and started to stand up before saying, “You’re right, You can stay in my room tonight. It’s too late to make you take the train back home, you can also take the bed. I'm fine sleeping on the floor.” He reached his hand out and helped me stand up before we headed back to the dorms.

I was going to fight it but decided against it, he’s too nice to let me sleep on the floor and is way too awkward to even think about sharing the bed. I just accepted my fate and lied down on his bed as he placed a pillow and blanket on the floor. “Thank you for letting me stay the night. We may have talked everything out earlier but I still expect you to make it up to me somehow, after all you did hide from me for six months.” I said making eye contact with him as he sat down on the floor.

He just smiled before responding. “I already have a plan. Just get some sleep because we are spending the whole day together tomorrow and I will do anything you want.” he lied down before saying a quick “Good night” and rolling over to get some sleep.

I whispered a “Sweet dreams” in response before falling asleep thinking of what I can make him do tomorrow to make up for his stupidity.

[aajjks]

TC!dad!JK

“b-but father-!”

“you heard him, jinseoul. you are to stay here until your father and i get to the bottom of this”

“i wanted to marry her but you both said no!”

“that’s because you’ll no longer be a prince, jinseoul. you’re not ready to be king at such a young age”

“dad became king at 17”

“your grandfather passed away. son, are you sure she’s even pregnant?”

“what the hell, mom?! of course i do”

“jeon jinseoul, don’t you ever speak to me like that!“

“y-yes ma’am. i apologize, mother” jinseoul bows.

“you both will go to your rooms until further notice and i mean it. only time you both will leave your rooms are to talk to either me or your father, that’s it. are we clear?”

“yes ma’am” says ae-cha but when you look around jinseoul for his clarity of the situation, he simply nods his head.

“go ae-cha” you say leaving you and your son alone to talk.

“care to fill me in on what’s going on in that head of yours?” but jinseoul shakes his head despite visibly being on the verge of tears. you were afraid that once you blew up in jinseoul’s face he wouldn’t talk to you and here he is afraid to tell you what’s the matter.

you aren’t sure if it’s because of jungkook or you but it’s obvious that jinseoul is beginning to close himself off and you feel a need of responsibility for the wall he’s beginning to build around himself.

“i’ll be fine, mom. don’t worry about it” jinseoul says as he wipes the tears from his eyes.

“how am i not supposed to worry when you’re crying?”

“i don’t know, mom and…i don’t care. i’m going to my room” jinseoul says before walking past you and heading to his room where’s he’s keeping nami hidden.

“you okay?” nami asks as she walks up to jinseoul to pull him into a tight hug.

“not really but i feel a little better with you here” the young man smiles causing nami to smile at his sweet remark.

“bad news, nami” begins jinseoul “my father said he doesn’t want me going outside and he doesn’t want me to marry you either”

“why? why is your father so against us getting married?”

“i don’t know but we have to lay low until things have cleared then you can return home”

“i-i can’t. my mother will kill me if i’m not home before sunset, jinseoul” nami panics as she paces back and forth with a frightened look on her face.

“it’ll be for a little while, love. just trust me”

“i do trust you b-but you don’t know my mother, okay? i can’t afford to get the paddle again”

“paddle?”

“it’s nothing. just…do you know another way out of here?”

jinseoul takes a minute to think to himself…

lately, he’s been getting ae-cha in a lot of trouble and he knows he can’t afford to do that again. he cares about his sister a lot and dragging her in something that doesn’t concern her isn’t right, so he has to do this alone.

It is already night, and he is still stuck in his office, truth is that he doesn’t want to come out of there and deal with his family right now.

Today was an emotionally hard day, and now he is beginning to regret the way he reacted with jinseoul earlier, He feels really sleepy, maybe he should just sleep here tonight, but he has to investigate the Choi family.

You must be getting worried that what’s going on with your husband and especially your children, it’s not like jungkook wants to add onto your stress, but he is so disappointed in jinseoul, and he keeps on comparing his situation to yours and his.

If only he knew.

“Ahh fuck.” Jungkook bangs his head on the table. He has never been good at dealing with emotional stress and he is not good at dealing with his anger. His anger has always been really dangerous and he doesn’t want to scare off his children

Truth he wants to be with you in bed already, but his heart feels too heavy to actually calm down.

“Jisung!”

And he cannot forget the way jinseoul talked back at you like that… that makes him angry, no one can disrespect you not even your own children. Jungkook is already starting to hate the girl because she is the reason behind this.

But it does take two to tango.

Jungkook is waiting for his PI to come in, he will help him get to know about the Choi’s and his potential future daughter-in-law.

“Sir?” He’s here, Jungkook straightens his posture and asks for jisung to sit down, “I want you to investigate about the Choi’s- the second grade family.”

“And let the queen know I won’t be joining her in bed tonight, I plan to stay here.”

[fallen-from-venus]

Thanks Hotel De Luna for sending me down a spiral!

I’ve been thinking about death lately.

Nothing like a little death to make you reevaluate your philosophy on life. Not that death is little or insignificant, on the contrary, death is deeply important and moving. Ugh, moving sounds so cliche, it understates the gravity. It’s moving in the way that it shifts lives. It alters you. I guess what I really like about death is that it forces you to face your feelings. It’s so completely out of our control and that brings to the surface any subconscious or subdued emotions. It forces you to come to terms with them or to work through them. 

I realize that this is feeling a bit faux intellectual, or something like that. I don’t know anything for certain and that’s just how I feel about it now. My current thoughts philosophized. So I guess I’ll talk about what I do know for certain, my feelings and experiences.

My first run in with death, like an actual death and not just through fiction, was my grandmother. An all-nighter cartoon marathon while my parents hoped on and off of phone calls, speaking in blurry tones in the hallway, lights off. I was young and didn’t quite understand what was going on. When I caught onto what was happening, I cried and prayed on my little bunk bed and begged God to let my grandma live. Bargaining was definitely involved, I’m sure I promised to never tell a lie or pick a fight ever again. That isn’t how things work, but I didn’t know that then. I must have cried my heart dry because when the funeral came around, I didn’t hardly shed a tear.

I actually learned more about anger and hurt from her death than anything. I learned that death is sacred and should be treated with respect and reverence, not by having a free for all of the deceased’s belongings as soon as they hit the ground. 

Another time death crossed my path, it decided to go for a double punch. Both of my grandfathers in less than a month. At least we had some semblance of a warning, we knew their health was in a decline and began preparing ourselves. Some of us got to say goodbye to one, a bittersweet lining. I know I said death forces you to deal with emotions, but this time it did the opposite. Such monumental deaths so close together, it was impossible to process. i became numb and distanced. To this day I still have a hard time remembering much about then or even about my grandfathers. It changed me forever, not for the best then, though I’ve gained perspective several years later.

Later in life I dealt with deaths in advertently. People adjacent to me, but not close, passed. It’s weird. To have classmates pass. Through natural causes or by a chain reaction of their own choices, it’s still deeply sobering. To have someone your age, someone you saw live life alongside yours, suddenly pass away. Cease to exist, at least in the physical. It makes you rethink your life. I’ll admit, the first one, I handled it wrong. Worse, I used it as a conversation point, a story to make myself sound more interesting. Pathetic, I know. I didn’t know the dude besides that we had a class together and my friend was friends with his girlfriend. Though his death was a consequence of his own actions it was still tragic, a life was still lost.

The latest I feel more connected to, but still I feel guilty for feeling anything. We went to elementary together, and though we were never close, he remained a familiar cast member in my school years. The him I knew and remembered only went up to middle school, maybe freshman year. Realistically, the man he was, was way more evolved than the kid I knew then, who knows if they even resembled each other. So even if I really knew him then, though I didn’t, could I still mourn him today? I don’t know. But that was still a part of him, his life, even if it was even only a brief snapshot. 

You can see why I am hesitant to wade in my feeling about this. Is there a rule that you can only mourn a death if you have earned a right to? Do you have to know a person in a certain capacity to feel for their death? I think the answer is no, but also maybe yes. A lot of mourning to me is dealing with your life and what it’ll be like without a person. So maybe you should know a person so much before you can mourn them, if it’s such a selfish thing to do. Or maybe I just have a warped idea of grief and it’s expression. Ugh, death is weird.

Sometimes I wonder what life would look like as a ghost. To be able to watch people in the third person. To see how my life would ripple through others. The butterfly effect, right? Maybe I would hover around loved ones and try to comfort them through the flickers of a lamp. Or maybe I would venture to the sides of acquaintances and see their reactions as they read the news. Would I even want to see how I affected others? Who am I kidding, of course I would. Maybe it’s a tad narcissistic, but I think it’s more so curiosity. Do others feel so deeply about me as I feel about them? Do others grow so attached to classmates and familiar faces as I do? Does an old coworker even bat an eye when they hear about me? Would a past professor even recall me? 

And again, death begs the question, do you want to wait to find out? If I am so curious, why not indulge myself and find out now. I often like to come across as aloof and not show how much I care. Finding out how other feel would require me to show my cards first. And I can’t say that I like to go in blind. But again, death forces you make choices, I thank God that death has come into my life and given me time to sit on these questions.

time stamp: february 14, 2023

[bayernteen]

Hi guys... 🥺

I haven’t had a chance to really think about my thoughts on the death of Liam Payne up until now. And the fact that social media has definitely failed him prior to his death, and especially now has really angered me, so this I really need to mention. 

First of all, I would like to send my sincere condolences to Karen, Geoff, Nicola, Ruth, Cheryl and Bear, and especially to the people around him who knew very well. I cannot bear to experience the amount the pain that they are going through right now. Having come from a family of whom I have lost my grandfather seven years ago, this pain will definitely sit with them for a long time, and my heart definitely goes out to them. But it is not just the close family and friends that are experiencing this huge loss, it is my teenage childhood that is mourning as well. I have been in love with One Direction since 2015, which may be odd because we all remembered that Zayn Malik left the band, and it may be also odd that we remembered that the band would take a hiatus a year later. But never would there be a time where we have to prepare for such a tragic event in our lives, than what happened over a week ago. 

I am not going to be explaining the realities of what life will be without Liam, nor explaining on if he was a bad person based on the things he did in the past, as many fans are pointing that out on social media, but what I will say is this: Liam was not just a band member, or a singer, or a celebrity, he was a humble person. He was a father, a son, a brother, and a true friend. He has been an amazing father to his son Bear, and now he will have to face the reality of seeing his father at his funeral, which is something that us humans wouldn’t wish to deal with at a young age. What really matters to us, is that Liam is a human being like all of us, and I feel that there were regrets already made about how we react to other people’s mental health, especially on social media. After seeing tons of negative posts prior to his death, this goes on to show that there is a lack of protection for his family members when they really wanted to grieve someone in private, and I’m afraid that if a celebrity passes away and bad things about someone’s life is revealed to the public, this will have a negative effect on their lives in the future. 

Therefore, I cannot stress this enough as I did many times in Formula 1 (and unfortunately there are some F1 fans who want to spread negativity towards others to this day). If we are going to be spreading a lot of negativity and conspiracies towards Liam’s family and friends, the One Direction band, or cause any harm towards the celebrities who honour him, then you’re in the wrong place for that. Now is not the time to abuse celebrities on social media because of their mental health, or their past mistakes, or their addiction to drugs. And unfortunately today, there are people today in the previous generation who are very unaware of the privacy that plays a role in our daily lives, compared to today’s generation. In the end, the negative thoughts that I have been seeing in the past week about his death is truly unacceptable, and in the end, not only the media needs to do better, but we need to do better. Yes, we do have our messy eras of life, and it may not be the way we wanted it to be, but right now we have to be there for his family, friends and fans, rather than cause harm towards each other. Let his family mourn in peace, not just during this phase and the funeral, but in the aftermath as well. We have seen that prior to Liam’s death, the negative comments has affected his life and his state of mind. Everybody may have an opinion to this, but one thing is for sure. It is always best to be kind. 

With that being said, my heart goes out not only to his family, but every single fan who is mourning for a true band member who knows what it means to devote his life to music. It is a shame that today’s fame has failed us at a crucial time in this era. Liam’s death has served us a reminder that life is too short, and that we need to enjoy today with our loved ones, because who knows what tomorrow will bring. I am proud of anybody who chose to respect his legacy, because in the end that is all he ever wanted. I wish that there was more time for him to show our support. I really wish there was. 

But for now, that is all I will say on my thoughts to honour his memory. Hopefully by the time I post this, life will be a lot better than what social media predicts, and that I should return back to my default factory settings where everything was positive and everyone was supporting one another. 

May your soul rest in peace, Liam. Fly with the angels! 🕊️🥺😢😭🌹❤️🖤

Take care! 👋🏽

[fueledbyapplepi]

I love your writing it's so good!!! Could I have reader having a crush on the boys and giving them a kiss while they think the boys are asleep and confessing their love to them with mikey, chifuyu and the haitani brothers? Im just so soft for those boys!!!

Sleep Tight | Mikey, Chifuyu, Ran, and Rindou

- Confessing to the boys while they're (not really) asleep

genre: 🌸 fluff 🌸

warnings: minor cussing

A/N: Thank you, anon! I really got into writing this one ( ◜‿◝ )♡ Also, I honestly think I need to come up with better titles because it sounds like a word vomit to me LMAO Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!

Mikey (Sano Manjiro)

Life would be nice if you had someone by your side who felt the same way about you.

You already have Mikey by your side, making every day much easier to get by. But does he feel the same way with you?

You practically grew up together with Mikey. Being neighbors with the man, you often come by to play with them as kids- leading to a blooming friendship. Although more often, it was you watching Mikey train in his grandfather’s dojo, where he never fails to amaze you with his tricks. Sometimes, you’ll have sleepovers together with Emma and Mikey where you’ll watch movies with them. Only for Mikey to be sound asleep halfway through the movie.

Growing up, nothing has changed that much with that routine. The only thing that has changed is your growing feelings for Mikey.

You saw the ups and downs in his life. From the time he established Toman to losing Shinichiro, you were there to witness how he would build a castle from the rocks of his downfalls.

So it was no surprise that you find your heart beating much faster when he’s around.

Childish as he is, you can’t deny the fact that Mikey is charismatic, beautiful, and kind. But, you never had the chance to tell him what you feel. Because what if he never saw you the same way?

You looked at Mikey, who’s currently sitting by your side almost half asleep. His head swings from side to side as he struggles on whether he should watch the movie or not.

“Mikey, you always never get to finish our movie nights. You’re no fun.” Emma pouted at his brother as she turned off the television.

“Mhmm, not sleepy.” Mikey turned to look at you then at Emma before leaning on your shoulder. “Just a little.”

Your heart flutters from close contact. “Maybe he’s tired from one of Toman’s meetings.” You turned to look at Emma with a sorry face

Sighing, Emma stepped out of the room as she looked at you, “I’ll get us a blanket, wait here Y/N.”

Your face felt hot as you realized that you were left alone in the room with Mikey. Well, this isn’t unusual for you two but with the strong feelings you have for him, you just can’t help but blush.

You looked at Mikey, his eyelashes seemed a bit longer, making his eyes more beautiful. His lips, although chapped, pouted with the way he’s comfy with you.

“Mikey, can you stop being so pretty? It makes me want to kiss you,” you whispered, thinking that Mikey’s probably dozing off to dreamland.

Mikey opened out one of his eyes to take a peek at you. All the sleepiness vanishing from his body. Did he just hear you right? “Then kiss me, Y/N.”

“Heh? Mikey, you’re awake?” you felt embarrassment creeping into you. “Mikey...I...look, sorry. I-”

Your blabbering mouth was silenced with a peck on the lips. Mikey kissing all your worries away.

“I like you too, Y/N.” He smiled as he leaned closer to you. Your foreheads touching and nose brush against each other.

You felt like you’re on cloud nine. Is this real? Mikey likes you too?

Before you could say anything, the door opened with Emma looking at the two of you weirdly. “Hehhh, am I interrupting something?”

You and Mikey looked at Emma. An embarrassed look on both of your faces as if you were caught red-handed.

Now, there’s a lot of explaining to do.

Chifuyu Matsuno

No matter how many times you try, you always seem to lose.

But who won’t?

With Chifuyu’s angelic smile and kind eyes, your determination to admit your feelings for him always seems to waver. It’s just that your thoughts always fly out the window and anxiousness gets the best of you.

You’ve known Chifuyu for quite some time now. Baji, who’s your cousin, introduced him to you as Toman’s 1st Division Vice-Captain and most trusted partner. Of course, it was only natural for you to be wary of him. Baji might trust him, but he could be some sort of drug dealer or serial killer. Who knows?

You’re wrong though. The more time you spend with Chifuyu, the more you appreciate his presence. How can you not? He always lends you a helping hand whenever you need it. As cliche as it sounds, Chifuyu is like the knight and shining armor in your life.

And now here he is. Once again saving you from another horrible situation.

Chifuyu offered you a ride when he found you drenched from the rain in Shinagawa. Apparently, the weather wouldn’t be pleasant today but you forgot to read the weather forecast. Currently, he brought you to his home for the meantime as the rain wouldn’t be stopping until tomorrow.

“I’ll just text and let Baji-san know that you’ll be staying here.” Chifuyu handed you a blanket as he laid on his futon.

“Thank you, Chifuyu. But I swear it’s okay for me to sleep there. This is your bed anyway.” You said embarrassed.

Chifuyu yawned. Tiredness dropping from his eyes. “It’s alright, Y/N. I can’t let Baji-san’s pretty cousin sleep on the floor.” He smiled at you with a faint blush on his cheeks.

You laid on the bed silently. Blushing from his compliment. Did he just call you beautiful?

You looked at the ceiling for about a good minute before turning to Chifuyu. “Chifuyu-san, I-”

A soft sleeping figure cut you off. The light from the lamp outside reflected on his beautiful features.

You padded off your feet on the floor and sat right next to Chifuyu. Observing him, you notice that he looks prettier when he’s peaceful like this.

You hesitatingly brushed your fingers on his hair. While massaging it, you can’t help but feel overwhelmed by your emotions. “I like you, Chifuyu-san.” You smiled proudly at yourself as you finally got to admit your feelings even though he’s asleep.

However, you noticed that the sleeping figure in front of you stiffened and reddened from your statement. Eyes wide, you held a hand in your mouth.

“Chifuyu-san, are you awake?” You hoped that he wasn’t.

But apparently, he is. “I guess you caught me.” Chifuyu sat up and scratched his head as he smiled at you sheepishly. “That felt nice though.”

“I’m sorry!” You bowed your head, hair hiding your flustered state.

“I like it!” Chifuyu panicked. “I mean, no. I like it. But, I like you too, Y/N-san.”

You laughed. At the same time, feeling extremely happy from what you just had heard.

“I guess we have some explaining to do with Baji-san.” you teased him

“Mhmm. But,” he held your hand and put it into his hair. “Would you continue that?” Chifuyu smiled.

“Of course.” You smiled at him, continuing your hair massages.

Looks like you won this time.

Ran Haitani

You’re no medical expert. The only knowledge you got was based on textbooks and first aid knowledge.

Yet somehow, Ran would always come knocking on your door whenever he has cuts or injuries. Sometimes, even without one, he would come by at your place and complain that his body is painful.

And it’s one of those nights again as you hear a soft knock on the door.

Moving to Roppongi, you were warned about the Haitani brothers. How you must stay away from them because they’re just no good. However, you somehow managed to come across the elder Haitani while you were shopping at a local store when he asked you what hair dye he should use.

This little interaction moved from one way to the other and now, ever since Ran found out where you live, he always comes by to let you heal his “injuries”.

You’re not complaining though. Despite the rumors and warnings, Ran was much more different from what other people say. He may be cocky and teasing, but the beautiful man sure is nice when it comes to you.

Causing you to develop a little crush on him.

You opened the door as you welcomed Ran. “Now, what do we have for tonight?”

Ran stepped in as he walked towards the couch. Laying as if he lives around here. “I got a bump on my forehead.” He pointed out as he pouted at you.

“You have Rindou! And you call yourself notorious but you come here whining like a baby.” you rolled your eyes as you got in the kitchen getting an ice pack for the man.

“Here.” You handed out the ice pack as you stood up in front of him.

“No.” Ran rolled his eyes. “Kiss it, Y/N.” he pouted once again.

“You’re not a baby, Ran. Tch.” you sighed as you sat across him. “Take a nap here and I’ll cook for you when you wake up.”

“Now, wifey material aren’t we.” Ran teased as he closed his eyes. Holding the ice packet against his forehead.

About a good 10 minutes have passed and you never heard another bicker from Ran. As you look at him, the man seems to be sleeping like a log.

You crouched down near him. Observing his features. You must say, he’s quite beautiful and more attractive when less chaotic.

“You’re such a big baby.” Thinking that he’s asleep, you kissed the small bump on his forehead.

As you got up to prepare his late dinner, a hand clutched yours.

You felt your body freeze for a moment as you turned around and saw a bastard smiling cockily.

“Do it again, Y/N.” Ran grinned at you as he held on tighter on your hand. “I’m a big baby but your baby.”

“Let me go!.” your face was beat red as you tried to yank off your hands. Only failing as Ran grabbed your arms causing you to fall on top of him.

“I like you, Y/N” Ran hugged you tightly while you were a blushing mess on top of him. “So let's just stay like this for a while.”

And you did.

Being with Ran isn’t so bad after all.

Rindou Haitani

If there’s one thing you’re proud of, it’s the skill you have for coloring people’s hair.

You like dyeing your hair, your friend’s hair, your cousins, and to just anyone who asks for your help. So it was no surprise when Rindou asked you to help him in doing his highlights.

Of course you can’t say no. Not because he is a Haitani but because you actually like his presence. When you’re around him, everything seems more calm and peaceful.

Despite being a menace around Roppongi, you and Rindou are actually good friends. You’ve known each other when he saved your ass around a group of guys who tried to harass you. And although he was stoic to you at first, he was able to ease up to you because of your caring nature.

After all, you recognized him as Rindou Haitani and not “Ran’s younger brother”. And he appreciated you for it.

So now here you are in their living room. Currently finished in dyeing Rindou’s hair.

“And there you have it. We just have to wait for an hour or so before washing it.” You tidied all the mess up as Ran sat and observed you. “By the way, why won’t you let me dye Ran’s hair?”

He raised an eyebrow upon your question. “Because he can’t have you.” Your eyes widened from his statement. Rindou, realizing what he just said, covered it up with an excuse. “I mean, I want him to dye his own hair and let it look shit. If he wants someone to dye his hair properly, he can go to the salon.”

You laughed at his statement. Well, he can actually crack up jokes once in a while if he loosens up his strict facade. “Oh Rindou, we also need to buy an extra conditioner.”

You looked up and saw the man with closed eyes. Deciding that you don’t want to disturb his sleep, you sat quietly beside him and observed him.

Rindou is already handsome with his glasses. But you realized that he looks much cuter without one.

He just looks good in anything.

You traced the bridge of his nose as you admired his features. “You know what? I actually might have feelings for you.” you muttered softly as you smiled.

“Let’s go out on a date then.” Rindou opened his eyes as he looked at you. Your lips a few inches away from his.

“Rindou!!!” You sat up straight. “I thought you were-”

“Asleep? Well I’m not.” he smiled at you as reached out for your hand. “But I meant it Y/N. I like you, and I want us to go on a date.” Rindou looked at you, hoping for an immediate response.

He does like you. After all, you were the only person who he was able to open up to other than Ran.

“Okay.” You smiled as you brushed your thumb at the top of his hand.

Rindou caressed your cheeks. Leaning in and going for a kiss.

“Ohh. Can I join?” a teasing voice butted in. Causing you two to look at the tall man who’s leaning in the doorframe. “I mean can I join Y/N’s dye party? Just continue that later.”

“Ran, get out!” Rindou shouted as he pointed at the door to his brother.

Well, things quickly escalated with the brothers.

As well as your relationship with Rindou.

[humancomedy]

Human Comedy: Epilogue - 1

Shu: ~......♪

Content Warning!

Mentions of death, suicide, and child abuse within.

Location: Repayment Festival Stage (Valkyrie)

Shu: ~......♪

Fufu. This is the first time I've ever felt this tranquil stepping upon the stage. Perhaps it's thanks to Ra*bits.

Well, I wasn't the one who created this performance from scratch, so maybe that contributes to the comfort I feel.

Mika: Oshi-san. Umm, I've been meanin' to ask ya somethin'...

Is yer grandfather doin' alright? Ya said he's hospitalized an' in pretty critical condition right now...

Shu: Right... Well, it's too soon for my mind to be at ease regarding his condition. Although, when I went to visit him with Kiryuu, I carelessly let slip our current state of affairs, and he gave me hell.

"There are people out there waiting for your performance! You should be grateful to them! Quit dawdling your time away in a place like this!"

"No one would miss me if I died, so if that's what it takes to sever your ties to me, I swear I'll jump out the window this instant!"

It took my entire family to restrain my raging grandfather.

It's been awhile since he last flew off the handle like that... I feel like an idiot for worrying about him. That man will indubitably live to see his 300s.

Mika: I see... I'm real glad to hear he's doin' well, but it's still a concernin' situation. Wanna go visit him when all of this is over?

Shu: Yes. It'll be reassuring to have you with me. I'm embarrassed to say this, but I fear that if I go by myself, it may break me...

It's astonishing just how much I treasure that senile old fool.

No matter how much one may wish to live forever, human lifespans are finite... But that is the way of the world.

I empathize with our ancestors, who attempted to leave behind works of art that would never fade and disappear.

Kagehira. Let us also leave behind, at the very least, one such work of art... Before we die and turn to ashes.

Let us create a precious performance that will never decay, one that will only increase in value as the years pass.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust"...

That may be God's design, but let us preserve all that is precious and worthy, and deliver them to the beautiful new world we are heading for.

If that is a sin... You will fall to hell with me, won't you?

Mika: Yeah, I'd follow ya to the very bottom. Even if we sank to the muddiest depths, even if the whole world forgot 'bout us an' left us behind...

I'll always be with ya. That's why we... No, that's why Valkyrie, is eternal.

Shu: Does that mean you'll inherit the Valkyrie name?

In that case, I can be at ease... Even if every single one of my fingers were to break, even if I were to die, you will preserve my artwork for the generations to come.

No, I'm sure that even if I should fail to reach my ideals, you will succeed in my place.

And even if they're beyond our reach, those who have been inspired by us will get there eventually... I have no doubts about that.

They will reach Heaven; God's domain that humanity has been dreaming of since the dawn of history.

Mika: Yeah. We'll carry those who are beautiful an' worthy to Heaven... 'Cause we're Valkyrie.

I always thought the name "Valkyrie" had some deep, personal significance to ya, Oshi-san...

That's why I had qualms 'bout inheritin' it—it felt like I'd be stealin' a part o' yer soul.

But apparently the name wasn't chosen for any significant reason, so that puts me a lil' more at ease... 'Course, that don't mean I'll treat it roughly.

Shu: That goes without saying. Excellent; that's a weight off my shoulders... You really caused me some anxiety there, Kagehira.

Allow me to confess something. When I told you to go back to your hometown and pushed you away, I believed the chances of it stirring you were about 50/50.

It was a heartbreaking thought... No, it was the gamble of a lifetime for me.

You were going to be ruined if things kept going as they were. I believed that you were going to spend the rest of your life simply doing chores for me.

And while you may laugh and say you're happy with just that...

I, for one, couldn't stand that. Because I am in enormous debt to you, and because you mean so much to me...

While these are my own selfish feelings, I also believe that it'd be a great loss to the philistines this world is composed of.

The reason why Valkyrie is so popular right now...

It's because of your deep empathy towards unloved children; because of your passionate, persistent desire to save them.

Your life's tragic circumstances... That is to say, the experience of being discarded by your parents, is perhaps what made you cultivate these traits.

Of course, you also acquired extensive knowledge and the finest of skills by virtue of being my assistant.

However, I was born into a family of fairly good standing, and growing up, I wanted for nothing...

And while I am fond of children for their features and purity, I loathe this vulgar world that makes people hurt each other like foolish animals.

Your love for children, on the other hand, is on an entirely different level.

The way you enthusiastically speak about the children from your hometown always reveals that your love for them is so deep and rich that it could flood the oceans.

Enough to make every pitiful, unloved child in the world happy, without leaving a single one behind...

It is because the children can feel that passion of yours that Valkyrie is so popular with them.

In that respect, I haven't done much to contribute to it.

In fact, all I ever did was point out your faults... At the same time, I slowly noticed the rare qualities, talents and artistic style you possess.

I knew I had no choice but to raise you. And the moment I realized this, I could no longer think of you as a doll.

You have what it takes to become an even greater artist than me... That's why I can't allow you to remain my assistant for the rest of your life.

Oh, how future generations would sneer at me for it. "What a waste... That Itsuki Shu must be an utter fool", is what they'd say.

Mika: Ahaha. I'm sure that'd be unbearable for ya, Oshi-san.

Ngah~. Y'know, I don't really get it myself...

Back in my hometown, I was always a quiet, plain 'n good lil' kid. I was the oldest of the bunch, their "Mika-nii".

I took care of all the lil' ones, an' never complained one bit.

I gave all the best stuffs to other kids, and was content with the damaged stuffs I kept for myself. I never fought with no one, an' I always behaved myself.

'Cause I was convinced that if I didn't, I'd be thrown away again...

But to tell ya the truth, I dunno how many times I buried my face in my pillow an' cried my heart out. I kept thinkin', "Why? Why's it gotta be me?"

"Is it 'cause my eyes are different colors? Did they throw me away 'cause they were creeped out by that?"

"Still... I got it pretty good compared to other kids, who ran away from home to escape all the awful abuse they endured there."

"I ain't the most unfortunate, pitiful child on Earth."

Thinkin' that, I endured... An' endured, an' endured... An' kept on living.

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[thusspoketrish]

Showers in the Malfoy-Potter Household

Domestic, tooth-rotting, fluffy Married Drarry!!! Written for the prompt Fresh over at @drarrymicrofic. 2.3K words. Thank you to @curlyy-hair-dont-care for the thorough beta xx

I. That One Time with the Gloves…

“Bugger, I need to shower!” Harry shouts to the empty sitting room as he steps through the Floo, shoulders tense as he kicks off his muddy shoes, waving his wand to send them to the hamper and clearing the residual mess on his and Draco’s Brazilian Macchiato Pecan hardwood floors. On socked feet, Harry dashes up the stairs towards their ensuite, disrobing along the way as the charmed grandfather clock in the downstairs hallway strikes 14:00.

Any minute now, Draco will Floo back in from brunch with Narcissa and Lucius—the very brunch Harry said he couldn’t attend because he pulled Sunday rotation at the Ministry. In truth, he had actually signed up for THE GREATEST WEEKEND QUIDDITCH MATCH EVER!!! between the Department of Mysteries and the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Harry had been surprised to learn that the DoM swots were a bunch of dirty playing wankers—their self-important swagger causing a stir on the ground and a gloriously brutal match in the air. Harry’s pretty sure he bruised his ribs when he struck the muddy ground at the end of the match. But even with his injury, Harry couldn’t help the wicked grin that crossed his face when Timmons, the DoM’s Seeker, watched in horror as Harry staggered to his feet, punching his Snitch-full fist triumphantly into the air.

The glory. The power. Harry feels like a warrior—he feels like a bloody beast!

The little white lie and a skipped brunch with the in-laws were worth it!

Once in the bathroom, Harry uses his wand to send his scattered muddy clothes to the hamper downstairs and turns the water on scorching hot. Stepping under the spray, his sore muscles relax. It’s absolutely blissful, and he can’t help the happy moans that escape him as the water sluices away the mud and sweat from his highly earned, brutal win. He chuckles darkly to himself. Those wankers from the DoM will be sucking on this one for months to come.

The shower curtain is pulled to the side, starling Harry so badly that he nearly slips, his head whipping around to face his smirking husband.

Draco sticks his head into the shower, making sure to avoid the stream, his eyes flashing. “Well, well, well. Look who’s getting so fresh and so clean after a hard day’s work.”

Harry huffs, covering his nipples with both hands as he says, scandalised, “Merlin! You scared the bloody hell out of me!”

“I’m sorry,” Draco says, sounding far from it. “I was so eager to see my husband after a lengthy morning away from him that all I could think about coming up the stairs was giving him the best shower blowie he’s ever had in his entire life…”

Harry grins. “Babe, I’ve missed you so much,” he says eagerly, stepping back under the spray. “Come on, get undressed and join me.” When Draco doesn’t move, Harry gestures inward. “Come on...come now…”

“Yeah, okay. Let me just…” Draco pulls from behind his back Harry’s dirty Quidditch gloves, dropping them into the shower as Harry gasps. The fresh dirt mingles with the water, swirling down the drain. Harry could’ve sworn he sent those gloves flying into the hamper.

Draco’s smile is shark-like, eager, and ready for blood. “Imagine my surprise when these came flying into my chest on my way up the stairs. I was so curious, I decided to have a quick search of the laundry room hamper, and lo and behold, I found all of your Quidditch gear, sweaty and smelling of fresh mud and grass, darling. Must’ve been one hell of a rotation this morning, huh?”

Harry holds up his hands. “I can explain—”

“Oh, really?”

“Er, yes…” Harry starts, running a hand through his soaked hair. “Babe, it’s those wankers from the DoM’s fault! They’re a bunch of posturing arseholes and someone had to put them in their place.”

Draco crosses his arms against his chest. “Ah, right. And that someone had to be you?”

Harry smiles sheepishly, shrugging. “Well…you know I’m the best Seeker in the Corps.”

Draco harrumphs, tilting his chin up and leaning against the wall next to the shower. “So, you know what this means, right?”

Harry bows his head. “Yeah…” he says sadly, shaking his head.

“What?”

Harry sighs. “No more Mimosa Sundays at Malfoy Manor?” he asks hopefully, peeking up at Draco through his wet, shaggy hair.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You know the mimosas at my parents' are bar none.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know…so, no blowie for me?”

“You’re damn right,” Draco says, yanking his head back and sharply pulling the shower curtain shut.

Harry grumbles to himself, turning back to the shower to rinse his hair. A minute or two passes before the shower curtain opens up again, a fully naked Draco stepping inside.

“But that doesn’t mean you can’t start grovelling the proper way: by sucking my cock,” Draco says with a smirk.

Harry laughs, wrapping his arms around Draco’s waist. “How did I land such a deeply compassionate, forgiving husband?”

“With that sinful mouth of yours, obviously,” Draco drawls, placing his hands on Harry’s shoulders to slowly push him down onto his knees.

II. That One Time Draco Was Trying to be Seductive...

Harry’s entering their bedroom, half an egg mayo sandwich in hand, when he notices Draco standing before the wardrobe mirror. “What are you doing?” he asks, pausing near the door.

Draco turns around, his arms spreading wide as he pops one narrow hip outward. He’s draped in an intricate floral-patterned gold bathrobe. “Do you like it? It’s new, darling. Just arrived from Italy. Rocco-inspired, heavy-weight close-knit silk lined with black satin…isn’t it gorgeous?” Draco purrs.

“Er…it’s quite something,” Harry says, biting into his sandwich.

“Neanderthal,” Draco tuts with a scowl before turning back to the mirror. He slides his hands reverently down the sides of his body as he tilts his head to the side. “It feels like fucking sex,” Draco whispers, his eyelids drooping.

Harry chokes on a bit of egg. Draco grins, ferally, as he faces Harry again.

“I have a surprise for you. Get undressed and meet me in the bathroom,” Draco says imperiously.

“Right now?” Harry asks around his sandwich, his eyebrows shooting up towards his hairline. “Why?”

Draco runs his hands down the front of his bathrobe, his eyes fluttering shut. “The things I’m going to do to you the moment you slip this robe off my body…”

That’s all Harry needs to hear as he sets his sandwich down on the nightstand to pull his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor before levelling Draco with a heated stare and a wolfish grin. “Is that right? Well, go on, then. I’ll meet you there in a minute,” Harry says, now unbuttoning his trousers. When Draco heads towards the bathroom, Harry picks his sandwich back up and shoves the rest of it in his mouth before getting undressed.

When he’s fully naked, he opens the bathroom door, the entire room filled with fragrant steam so thick he can barely see Draco.

“Er?” Harry says, stepping into the bathroom. Draco stumbles forward, wand in hand.

“I think I may have overdone the steam a bit,” Draco says before promptly pitching forward. Harry misses him by just an inch because he can’t bloody see, and Draco lands face first on their tiled floor.

“I thought it would be sexy,” Draco whines from his position on the floor in Harry’s lap after Harry Rennervates him. There’s a red patch on his forehead and a trickle of blood coming out of his left nostril that Harry cleans up immediately.

“You were! You were so sexy,” Harry urges softly.

“But there was no arse groping. No kissing. No fucking. It was all so unpleasant!” Draco cries.

“Aw, babe. I’m sorry. I think we should take you to St Mungo’s just in case…”

Draco sighs, sitting up but swaying slightly. “Fine. Alright. But let’s not tell them the visit is due to my failed attempt at seduction.”

Harry stifles a laugh. “Of course not. C’mere,” he says, helping Draco to his feet. “You can seduce me after the Healer has ruled out a concussion, okay?”

“Okay. But only if you promise to take my new bathrobe off with your teeth later…”

III. That One Time with the Mongrel…

Draco’s writing out a pros and cons list to determine if they’ll be purchasing a cottage in Cornwall this summer when Harry appears in front of him, a black towel cradled against his chest that’s moving.

Draco quirks an eyebrow. “What in the fresh hell is wrong with that towel?”

Harry chuckles and pulls the towel back. Pressed against his chest is a tiny, muddy little Beagle.

“No,” Draco says firmly, setting his quill down.

“Wait! Don’t be so quick about it! C’mon, babe, she was all alone in the alley by the Ministry! No mum or dad in sight. I couldn’t leave her there!”

Draco closes his eyes against the utterly heartbroken look in Harry’s eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. Of course, Harry would bring home an orphan, Draco had been preparing himself for this day since they married four years ago, only, he thought said orphan would be a wee babe, not a filthy mongrel. He exhales, nods, and opens his eyes, hand dropping away from his face. “Okay. Well. I refuse to have this mongrel in our house looking and smelling the way it does.”

Harry’s face lights up as if Draco has promised him the moon, and the stars, and all the love in his entire being. All over again.

“So, can we keep her?” Harry asks excitedly.

“Yes, Harry. We can keep her.”

Harry surges forward to press a kiss against Draco’s mouth, taking Draco off guard but aiming perfectly, nonetheless. Draco can’t help the laugh that bubbles up his throat as Harry begins to litter kisses all over his face, the mongrel caught between them. “You’re going to love her, I promise. Just look at her! She’s bloody adorable, isn’t she?” Harry says, holding the beast out to Draco.

Draco’s nose scrunches up as the dark-eyed creature stares up at him. She’s so small she could fit in Draco’s cupped hands, but her smell is atrocious. “Sure…” Draco says slowly, leaning away.

Harry hums happily. “I think we should name her—”

“—Beasty,” Draco interrupts, gaze flickering up to Harry. Harry rolls his eyes.

“No, silly! We should name her Pepper. Because she sorta smells like black pepper.”

Draco wants to suggest to Harry that perhaps they need to visit St Mungo’s to get his nose examined, because the last time Draco checked, black pepper smelled absolutely nothing like faeces. But he refrains, the joyous look on Harry’s face well worth going along with the madness.

“Sure, darling, whatever you want. Pepper it is. But she’s going to need a bath.”

Harry nods. “Right, yes, let’s take her upstairs to our bathroom.”

Draco smiles tightly. “Ah, no. I just had that tub put in. I don’t want this mong—Pepper staining the porcelain.”

“Oh, right, right. Okay, well, we can bathe her in the tub down here.”

Draco links his fingers together over his list. “Yes, excellent idea. So,” he starts, eyeing the now droopy-eyed, stinky monster. “Should we use a Petrificus Totalus or—?”

“DRACO!” Harry gasps, looking completely horrified. “We can’t put Pepper in a full body bind, are you insane? She’s a puppy!”

Draco frowns, his eyebrows knitting together. “She’s covered in grime and you expect me to manoeuvre this beast into the tub with its full cooperation?”

Harry glares at him. “She’s the sweetest thing, and I’m sure we won’t have any problems getting her into the bath, okay? Just follow my lead.”

Draco shrugs. Harry hasn’t led him astray yet.

When they finally enter the downstairs bathroom, tub now full of water at the perfect temperature and a mild soap, Draco suddenly gets an armful of Pepper as Harry begins to shed his jacket and jumper.

Draco stares down at her.

She is quite cute, with her large, bulbous black eyes, long, floppy ears, and wee-frowny mouth. Draco believes he can actually come to love this gross little beasty.

“Let’s get you all fresh and clean, sweetie,” Harry says, taking her back from Draco to place her in the water.

That’s when all hell breaks loose.

As Harry struggles to keep a hold on her, Pepper lifts her paws away from the water as if it’s fire, wild yelps escaping her as she struggles out of Harry’s grasp, dropping into the water first before lunging straight at Draco.

Draco catches her, her tiny little body soaking through his very nice, very clean jumper.

“Fucking fuck, fuck…” Draco mutters, staring down at Pepper, warmth exploding in his chest. She’s shivering against him and the anger and shock immediately leave his body as he cradles her, a defeated groan escaping him as a section of his heart unlocks and opens up to this little beasty.

Harry laughs. “Merlin, you are just so bloody adorable,” he says.

Draco scoffs, even as he stares down fondly at her, rocking her in his arms. “She’s a menace, that’s what she is.”

“No…I mean you,” Harry says, his eyes twinkling behind his glasses, cheeks dimpled. Draco can feel the heat of a blush spilling across his cheeks as Harry leans forward to kiss him. When they part, Harry glances down at Pepper before meeting Draco’s eyes.

“We’re building our little family,” Harry says proudly.

Draco opens his mouth to say something mocking, but can’t, not with the ball of emotion that’s suddenly lodged in his throat. Instead, he blinks several times, glancing down at Pepper who’s staring up at him with her large eyes, tail wagging.

“Oh,” Draco says softly. “I suppose we are.” He sniffs. “I think it’s best if we get Beasty Pepper to the vet instead, maybe they can help us give her a proper bath. Shall we?”

Draco smiles as Harry drapes an arm around his shoulders. “Yes, let’s do it, babe,” Harry responds tenderly.

[anywherebuthere]

I had a dream about you last night || j.p.

James Potter x fem!reader

“Even when you’re gone, you are all that haunts my dreams.”

Wordcount: 1969

A/N: Happy (belated) birthday to the only man ever <33 I am illiterate, so I had a mental breakdown writing this <3 please enjoy!! special thanks to @anchoeritic and @gxtitobxby for supporting me via discord and for making fun of the time I got hit by a car :)) @skullsontess07​ I finally posted it pls don’t hurt me <33

Warnings: alcohol, allusions to sex, death, bad writing, especially towards the end. barely proofread because I don’t believe in mistakes <3 /j

Please do not repost this!! I do not consent to this piece of fiction being published on any other site besides tumblr unless it by my doing.

The ticking of the grandfather clock thrummed in James’ ears as he tipped back the empty bottle, the smell of whiskey heavy in the air. He leaned his head against the cold surface of the white plaster wall, scanning the textured ceiling with misty eyes. His home, still half furnished, was riddled with traces of something better forgotten. Even with the weight of alcohol on his breath, his mind is running with memories and daydreams of her. 

He closed his eyes, forcing the imagery away. In the distance, a train chugged on, its lone whistle echoing in the night, and James can’t help but be pulled into an uneasy slumber, memories still flashing through his mind like a broken film. 

-

“Prongs, you git! We’re going to miss the train if you don’t hurry your fat arse.” Remus shouted, frustration seeping into his humoured voice. 

“Relax Moony, we’ll be fine,” he replied, breath heaving slightly from sprinting across Platform 9¾, just narrowly having avoided knocking over an elderly witch. 

As the four boys approached the entrance of the cart, the train’s departing whistle blared. They boarded quickly, though not without receiving a glare from a crew member.

Hurrying down the corridor, the boys glanced through every compartment window, though each appeared to be full of giggling sixth years. That is, with the exception of one.

Near the back end of the Hogwarts Express, was, at last, an empty compartment save for a singular figure slumped against the window. With no other choice of seating, the gaggle of boys slipped in silently, Sirius and Remus snagging the seats opposite to the slumbering girl, their pinkies linked as they whispered conspiratorially amongst themselves. 

Peter, as adverse to the female race as ever, took the seat closest to the door, leaving James to be wedged between the mousy blonde and the stranger, careful not to bump her with his broad shoulders.

The train ride was filled with hushed whispers as the marauders discussed this year's prank for the welcoming feast, a customary tradition they held sacred, as to “start the year right.” 

As they began going over the mechanisms of their plan, they felt the train begin to swerve as it approached a sharp turn. The compartment shook slightly and James suddenly felt a weight on his right side.

He stiffened, glancing over to see that the girl’s head had lulled over from the compartment wall and onto his shoulder. James recognized her as a student in their year. Y/N, who had tutored Regulus the same day that James had helped Sirius prank him as petty revenge for a now long-forgotten argument. 

And well, perhaps James had wanted her to notice him for once. If so, it had been a successful endeavour as he remembered the way her face had contorted in anger, though her attention had remained just as elusive for the remainder of their fifth year. So… perhaps not so successful.

He flushed at the memory. She was now even prettier than the year prior.

“Oh? Is that a blush we see, Moony?” Sirius taunted, nudging Remus with his elbow as he snickered at James’ scowl.

“Bloody hell, piss off, will you? You’ll wake her–” 

He felt her suddenly stir beside him, brows creasing as though on the cusp of consciousness. 

James held his breath.

The moment passed as Y/N nudged her face further into the crook of his neck before settling back into a peaceful slumber.

Perhaps he wouldn’t need the prank to start the year right this time around. 

-

It seemed that sixth year would be a good one for James. 

In the early morning of a mid-March day, an unlikely scene unfolded between the shelves of Hogwarts’ library. There he sat beside a bleary Y/N, voice still drowsy with sleep as she read aloud a passage from the Herbology textbook perched between them.

Initially, James had detested the thought of having to wake up at such an ungodly hour for the sake of a project. No other time had fit, not with his Quidditch practices and her absurd number of tutoring sessions. 

Though now, as the early rays of sunrise filtered through the library’s mullioned windows onto her skin, James thinks that there is nowhere else he would rather be.

He thinks this moment will be ingrained in his mind forever. 

“–once a century, the Flutterby bush produces flowers able to attract the unwary.” she paused to yawn, eyebags evident as she turned to meet James’ gaze. She scrunched her nose and he swore he swooned at the very sight. “Are you even listening to me, Potter?”

“I’m always listening to you,” he replied, tilting his head. She grins in response and he notices just how beautiful it is. 

She shifted her gaze back to the textbook lying in their laps, picking up where she had left off.

“Its scent adapts–”

James leaned forward suddenly, capturing her lips in his. The book fell closed between them.

Immediately, almost though by instinct, Y/N reciprocates, moving her lips gently against his as her hand cups his cheek. James finds himself gripping that hand as his other wraps around her waist, finding the small of her back and pulling her impossibly close against him.

She tasted of cherry chapstick and peppermint bubblegum, and though there was nothing particularly special about those flavours, on her, James swears that he could drown in his intoxication alone. Her perfume wafts through the air, the scent causing him to groan against her mouth. 

When they separated at last, his head was swimming in euphoria, his expression dazed. Y/N blinked up at him, sleep wiped entirely from her expression.

“Its scent adapts itself during these times to attract said unwary.” she finishes, sounding breathless still, voice trailing off as James began to laugh hysterically.

She rolled her eyes, smiling sheepishly. 

When James still couldn’t stop laughing, Y/N gripped his haphazardly tied red and gold tie, using it to pull his soft lips against hers once more and he was sure in his mind that there would no one else for him.

-

Beneath a great oak tree in the courtyard lay two figures. Under the tree’s twisting branches, they hid in its cool shade from the sweltering afternoon sun. Few places aside from the castle offered shelter from June’s blistering heat and as the semester approached its end, they finally allowed themselves to rest in the gentle breeze. 

James was leaning against the thick trunk while Y/N’s head lay in his lap. His elbow was resting on her abdomen as she drew on his hand, doodling intricate flower designs alongside some… less desirable things.

He felt his heart swell with joy as her laughter filled the summer air and before he could catch himself, he blurted out the thought that had been weighing in the back of his mind since they had started dating.

“Do you ever think about your future?" 

He felt the scratch of her muggle pen slow, as though pausing in thought.

"I want to grow old and die surrounded with people I love, knowing I lived a long and fulfilling life. You know, typical boring stuff," she replied after a moment's consideration. Her eyes twinkled with more, though Y/N never indulged in half-thought-out plans. 

"What about you?" she questioned with the tip of her head. James didn’t need time to think about it. He had known his answer since that fateful September morning when she had slept on his shoulder throughout the entirety of the train ride.

"I don't care what my future is as long as you're there" he answers truthfully.

Y/N flushed, her ears heated. She looked away, the corners of her lips turning up in the barest hint of a smile.

James freed his hand from her loose grasp, hooking her chin to look back towards him before leaning in to kiss her.

Even after all these months, he relished in the taste of her lips. He doubts he’ll ever be able to get enough of the feeling.

He doubts he’ll ever be able to get enough of her.

-

The sun was setting in the west on a quiet evening, its golden rays shining on the slick skin of two lovers as they untangled themselves from the sheets, unable to hold in their laughter when one got his foot stuck in the knot of their crochet blanket. 

The air hung heavy with the scent of sweat and endorphins as Y/N laid back, her body still bare, not bothering to cover it.

James propped his elbow beside her head, careful not to press on her spread-out hair, his face filled with ecstasy and pure bliss. 

He will never get used to the sight of her in his bed, giggling as the sun reflected off her silky skin. The image of her underneath him is cemented in his mind, permanently lodged there as solid as concrete. He knows now with absolute certainty that there would be no one else for him. 

James’ smile widened further as he nudged his nose into the crook of her neck, leaning in to place a kiss there when his vision blurred.

It was no longer sunset. Rather, the two of them were now enveloped in the dark of night and James is certain he hears the echo of a familiar spell ring off in the distance.

He pulls away from Y/N’s neck. 

She was no longer shaking with laughter, but rather, writhing in pain. There were lacerations all across her torso and James felt something sticky underneath his hands.

They were laying in a pool of her blood.

Panic clawed at his throat and though he had never been averse to the sight of blood, yours was an exception. The taste of bile clung to his tongue. 

“No... No no no no no,” he whispered in disbelief. Swivelling his head, outside the window, he spots a cloaked figure wearing a mask of silver disapparate. 

“No!” 

Grasping for the wand strapped to his side, he murmurs a healing spell, gasping for breath when the wounds remain open. His head was spiralling as Y/N shook her head almost imperceptibly, grabbing at his wrist with a shaking hand.

Carved into her arm was the word “MUDBLOOD” and James felt his vision turn red, suddenly hyper-aware of the blood pumping through his veins.

“James…” she rasped. He gripped her shaking hand.

“Why isn’t it working? Why?” he cried, tears streaming down his face, struggling to breathe.

“Whatever our souls are made of,” she gasped, blood spurting out of her mouth. Her beautiful mouth, the one that tasted of cherries and peppermint, was covered in thick, crimson blood. “you and I are connected.” 

“No! Stop with this rubbish, you’re not going to die!” he sobbed, gripping her bloodied hand like a vice. She continued as though he hadn’t even spoken.

Perhaps she was too far gone to hear him.

“Wh-whatever is beyond this life,” violent ruby coated her mouth as she coughed, blood splattering onto her smooth skin. “Promise me, y-you’ll find me again.”

“I promise,” he cried, sobs racking through his body. 

But she was already gone.

-

James woke with a start, gasping for breath with the taste of blood and “promise” still coating his tongue. He was alone in a house built for two.

In his fitful sleep, he had knocked over the empty bottle of whiskey beside him.

She had hated whiskey.

Had. 

A fresh wave of misery washed over James, adding to the dull pain that never seemed to go away, throbbing through him as naturally as the blood in his veins. It wasn’t enough that she existed still within every corner of their shared home.

Even in his dreams, he is haunted by her memory.

ㄧ

@catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

[sunlight-moonrise]

Patience is a Virtue (Ralvez x Reader Imagine)

Summary: It’s all fun and games until Luke shows up, and he doesn’t like when his lovers mess around without him. 

A/N: Hey heyyyy. We have here a PolyAm Ralvez x Reader fic. This is my first time writing a threesome and it was a lot harder than I thought. Once again, a big thank you to @imagining-in-the-margins​ for making this story nice and neat for everyone. This is my NSFW story dedicated to the lovely @httpnxtt​ Enjoy!

Category: Smut

Content Warnings: M/F/M Threesome, Oral Sex (Male & Female Receiving), Fingering, Penetrative Vaginal Sex, Unprotected Sex, Edging/Orgasm Denial, Spitting/Spit Swallowing, Degradation/Praise, Slight Marking

Word Count: 3.2K

Masterlist

Tick. Tick. Tick.

I stared at the grandfather clock by the wall, watching the larger hand tick as each second passed by at a slow and tortuous pace. I absolutely hated waiting. I wouldn’t consider myself to be an impatient person, I just didn’t appreciate my time being wasted. There are a bunch of things that I could be doing right now, such as making out with my boyfriend, but I had to wait. Why? 

“Please stop tapping your foot,” Spencer said, “you’re making me nervous.”

Because our boyfriend said so. 

Luke was back at Quantico, doing god knows what, while Spencer and I were instructed to wait for his return. This was not unusual, Luke regularly asked us to wait for him. He didn’t want to miss out on the fun. His excuse was that Spencer and I spent more than enough time without him already, since the both of us were in a relationship before he met us. However, it has been hours already, and I was terribly, utterly horny. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

I groaned loudly as I shifted my body towards my boyfriend. He glanced at me shortly before returning his attention back to whatever was on TV. 

“Spencerrrr,” I whined, my hands making their way towards his legs. He gently caught them with one of his, placing them back on me. 

“No, you know what would happen if we try anything.” 

A shiver went down my spine as a flash of a memory resurfaced. Luke had us both on our knees, making us take turns sucking him off. His pleasure was the only priority for that evening. Of course, he made it up to us the following morning with breakfast in bed and an orgasm each. 

That was a fun time, but the memory only made me crave Spencer even more right now. 

“Please baby, I want you so badly. I promise I’ll make it worthwhile.” My hands slowly glided back to his pants and this time he didn’t push them away. 

“We shoul-” a groan cut him off as I slightly squeezed his growing erection. 

“How would he find out?” I moved my body closer to his, pressing my chest against his arm. “I’m so wet for you Spencer, please.”

“I-I don’t know. Luke would be really upset if he finds out.”

“Just one kiss. Or two. That’s all, I promise.” 

I moved to sit on his lap, making sure his hard erection was against my clothed center. I pressed my lips against his throat, enjoying the sound of the small gasp he released from his mouth. 

“I won’t tell him if you don’t.”

I continued to press small kisses against the column of his throat as I slowly grinded my hips against his. Spencer placed his hands on my waist, his grip still shy and hesitant. I had him almost where I wanted him, I just needed to push a little bit more. 

“And what do we have here,” a low voice stated from behind me. I felt Spencer tense underneath me as we both locked our eyes on our boyfriend. Luke was leaning his weight against the wall, his face void of any emotions. But Spencer and I knew better. 

“Hey there babe, we were just uhhhh warming up for you. Right, Spence?” I turned my attention back to Spencer, hoping he will help soothe the predicament we caught ourselves in. However, he stayed silent, his head facing downward in a state of guilt. 

“I could’ve sworn I said no touching until I got back. Or was I mistaken?” 

“Well, you see, what had happened wa—” My attempt to swindle our way out of any punishment was cut off. 

“I don’t want to hear it. The both of you go to the bedroom. Now.” 

Spencer stood up, with me practically having to jump off him to avoid falling on the floor. If I had to bet, I’d say he was more excited than scared. He would never admit it, but we all know he loved Luke’s punishments. I was just the more vocal one between the two of us. 

I followed after Spencer, going through the usual protocol. Luke likes us to be stripped down to our underwear. We sat on the bed, a good amount of distance between us so that Luke wouldn’t try to add another penalty to whatever he was going to give us. 

We waited a few minutes before the door opened with a creak. Thank the mighty above that he decided not to make us wait for many more hours. 

I kept my eyes downwards, waiting for further instruction. I heard Luke make his way towards Spencer before a sharp gasp was heard. The lewd sounds of sucking and moaning almost made me turn my head. Luke knows I love watching them together, but I can’t lift my head without permission. I did my best to keep my eyes on my lap as I heard them make out with one another. 

I don’t know how long I waited, it could have been a few minutes or a few hours, before I heard them finally pull apart. Between the deep intakes of breath from the both of them, I assume it was a lengthy amount of time. 

“I am proud of you for at least following this one rule cariña,” Luke panted, his words coming out a bit husky as he still tried to catch his breath, “Look at me.”

With greedy eyes, I looked at his face and took him all in. His lips were red and puffy, the leftover saliva keeping them moist. His hair was wild, as if a certain genius ran his hands through it. His chest moved up and down, eventually dwindling to an even pace. 

He came closer to me, tucking two of his thick fingers under my chin to lift my head up so that I can focus solely on his lustful dark brown eyes. “Spencer,” he called, eyes still on mine, “come here.” 

Within milliseconds, Spencer stood up next to Luke, awaiting further instruction. He was always more of a doer than a talker when in this role. Luke grabbed his hands as they took a few steps away from me. “Let’s give our darling girl a little show. Take my clothes off me.” 

With greedy and excited hands, Spencer removed Luke’s button-down and undershirt. His fingers traced the soft skin of Luke’s chest as he made his way toward the pants.  He took his time taking off Luke’s jeans and socks, enjoying the few moments at being on his knees in front of our man. 

Lucky son of a bitch. 

When Luke was finally in his boxers, he told Spencer to take a seat on the bed again before coming back to me. He grabbed my waist, forcing me to stand and pulling me against his body. He was so cool, which help to calm my overheated skin. 

“What should I do with you, cariña, hmmm?” 

I kept my mouth shut. I didn’t want to give him any ideas. He rubbed small circles on my hips as he contemplated what to do with me. He hummed a small tune while his eyes displayed a playful mischief.  

“Ahhh, I have an idea. Babe, lie down on your back for me. You deserve a treat,” he told Spencer while he removed my underwear. 

As soon as he released me, I went straight to Spencer. I knew what Luke wanted us to do without him outright saying it. I straddled Spencer’s waist and shimmied up to his face until my core was level to his mouth. 

“The other way,” Luke called out, “I want to see you.” I hastily switched position, almost falling to my side. If it wasn’t for Spencer’s hands on my thighs, I would have had a face full of blankets right now.

“Go on.”

And with that, Spencer started using his mouth on me. I gasped as he slowly left soft kisses before moving his tongue from slit to clit in a tantalizing motion. I was already wet from earlier, but I was practically a puddle now. If there was one thing that Spencer was amazing at, it was eating a girl out. Or well, giving oral in general. He is a giver and knows how to work that amazing mouth in multiple ways. 

I cried out when he closed his mouth over my clit and started to gently suck. He groaned when I pressed my hands down on his chest, the vibration causing my body to shudder. His hands on my thighs kept my trembling body as steady as possible. This is going to be over quickly if he continued on like this. I picked my head up to look at Luke, watching as he took in the scene in front of him.

“Give her a little more Spencer.” 

A thick, long digit slowly replaced the tongue that was inside me. Similar to his mouth, Spencer was talented with his hands. Those dexterous fingers were a gift, and I was a happy recipient. His mouth returned to my clit, his tongue flicking against it as he curled his finger in a come hither motion. I let out a whispered curse as my eyes closed. 

“Put another finger in her, Spencer.” 

Spencer did as he was told, sliding a second digit inside of me. My high pitch moans were in harmony with the boys’ heavy breathing. I tried to stay still, but couldn’t help but grind slowly against Spencer’s face. I focused my attention back at Luke, only to see him softly fisting himself behind his boxers. Damn, I want nothing more than to have a closer look at him.

As if he read my mind, Luke came closer, his fist still pumping his thick cock. My mouth salivated in an instant, craving the feel of salty skin gliding against my tongue. I stuck my tongue out, hoping he would be nice and give me what I wanted. 

For a moment, I thought he would do just that as he released his dick, removed his boxers, and climbed on the bed, straddling Spencer’s lower waist. Instead, he grabbed my hair harshly, forcing me to look up at him. With my mouth still opened wide for him, Luke looked directly into my eyes as he spit in my mouth. Without prompt, I swallowed greedily, showcasing my tongue for him again.

“You’re such a dirty little bitch, cariña,” Luke laughed. The sweet pet name combined with the degrading title had me whimpering for more attention. I wanted more. I needed more. I moved my head, just enough to capture Luke’s lips with my own. Luke quickly pulled away to glare at me while I wore a coy smile on my face. 

“You greedy little girl,” was all he said as he delved back down. His lips were always soft, which contrasted with the way he would roughly kiss me. His stubble rubbed harshly against my face, his tongue sliding greedily against my own. His hands still fisted in my hair held me in place as he controlled our intense kiss. 

The feeling of two tongues inside of me had me rising closer and closer to my climax. My legs started to shake as a shiver went through my spine. I focused on the pleasure they were giving me. I moaned loudly into Luke’s mouth while Spencer continued the even pace of his fingers and tongue. I was so close to my release and just when I was about to let go, Luke pulled away from me and said the worst two words a person could hear at a moment like this. 

“Spencer, stop.” 

Spencer instantly paused his movements, my orgasm waning along with it. I glared at Luke, telepathically telling him how much I hated him at that moment. 

You fucking smug haughty beautiful bastard. 

“Fix that face before I change my mind about potentially rewarding you,” Luke stressed out.

I immediately pouted at his words, casting my eyes down so that he didn’t see the anger that still lingered within them. 

“Cariña, move down. Spencer, stay just like that,” he said, his voice carrying a softer tone as he moved down a bit to make room for me. 

Just like before, I shimmied my body down until I was at Spencer’s waist. With Luke’s help, Spencer’s boxers were tossed somewhere across the room and I was hovering over his length. Spencer and I both gasped once he entered me. I slowly moved my hips down until he was bottomed out inside of me. Luke placed his hands on my waist as he moved me up and down, controlling the pace. 

Spencer’s fists were clutching the sheets beneath him as he tried his best not to buck his hips. We were both trying to be good to avoid further punishment. It was bad enough that we’d barely seen each other’s faces this whole time. Luke knew I was a sucker for Spencer’s orgasm face. 

Luke pressed a kiss on my forehead and dipped his head to leave bites and kisses on my throat. I could feel my body heat up the more his plush lips pressed against me. He released my waist, silently telling me to go on as he continued his descent, nibbling and marking the skin on my chest and stomach. 

I nearly screamed once I felt his lips and tongue on my sensitive clit. From the way Spencer’s hips staggered and moans increased in volume, it is safe to assume that Luke was avidly lapping the both of us. The sound of deep whines, heavy moans, and high squeals occupied the bedroom. The coil in my belly was getting tighter and tighter, a telltale sign that I was once again rising close to the edge. I just needed a few more thrusts, a bit more pressure. 

I barely noticed when Luke pulled away, but I did register the deep timbre of his voice saying, “Stop.”

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, not again. Spencer’s hips stuttered, but didn’t fully stop until Luke smacked and harshly gripped his thigh. 

“Luke, please,” Spencer begged, as if he was a wounded animal. I also shared my displeasure at being stopped for the second time in a matter of minutes. All Luke did was chuckle at us, amused by our antics.

“Good things come to those who wait,” was all he said as he stood up. 

He instructed Spencer to sit up and lean his back against the headboard while I go on all fours facing him. We quickly followed suit, hoping to finally get some kind of release. 

“Good, now cariña, I want you to be nice and let Spencer use your mouth.” 

He didn’t have to say more. I happily open my mouth to allow him entry. The mixed taste of the both of us further invigorated me to take him deeper in my mouth. 

“You can touch.” I heard Luke say to which Spencer eagerly accepted. He held strands of my hair in his large hands, but did nothing else. I glance up to see his face scrunched up in pleasure, mouth open while his head leaned back on the headboards. I loved looking at him like that, it was arousing and encouraging. I moved my head up, leaving just the tip in my mouth. I swirled my tongue around him and sucked a bit harder, relishing the way he tightened his grip on my hair. 

I felt the bed dip as Luke got on it again. I knew he was behind me, feeling the heat he emitted on my skin. He rubbed two fingers against my already slippery folds, spreading the slick everywhere. I heard him sigh before once again placing his hands on my hips, the blunt head of his cock thumped against my clit. I raised my hips higher, presenting myself as an offering for his pleasure. 

Luke entered me slowly, lazily, taking his time so that I could feel every inch of him inside me. I moaned and gurgled around the cock still in my mouth. Spencer’s hands yanked me off him as he took deep breaths. His eyes kept darting between Luke and me, pleading for someone to allow him to do something. 

“Go ahead babe, you’ve been so good for me,” Luke praised. 

Spencer looked at my face, silently asking permission. I nodded my head, opening my mouth again for him. Still being the soft sweet boy for the night, he gently entered my mouth, lightly moving my head up and down. 

Luke started quickening his pace, smacking his hips against mine. His balls would slap my clit the harder he thrust in me. The contrast between the rough and hard from behind with the soft and gentle from the front had my mind spiraling. 

“You like this don’t you,” Luke growled out, hunching his form so that his chest was pressed against my back, his words being hissed at my ear. “You like being filled up at both ends.”

All I could do was moan as they both used me. I maneuvered one hand to massage Spencer’s balls, sucking harder with every up stroke. The extra stimulation was just enough for him to cry out and release himself. He came like a freight train, heavy and fast and all too much all at once. I couldn’t hold it all in my mouth and Spencer slipped out of me with the leftover fluid landing on his lower stomach. 

“It’s your turn now cariña,” Luke moaned. He hitched one of my legs up and the new angle had me seeing stars. I couldn’t hold in the cries and shrieks no matter how much I wanted to. I was wailing as I finally, finally, was given release. My arms were too weak to hold me up so I had my face pressed down on the sheets beneath me. 

Luke continued to pound harder and faster inside of me, chasing after his own release. His grip on my hips got harder, his nails digging into my skin, as his pace stuttered to an uneven pace. A few more thrusts and he had my hips pressed against his as I felt him spasm inside of me while I continued to contract around him. 

We stayed like that for a few minutes before he pulled out and went to the bathroom. I was still trying to catch my breath while Spencer was in a nearly comatose state. Luke returned with wipes in his hand as he cleaned the both of us from the sticky mess we made. He led me to the bathroom to relieve myself while giving Spencer some water. He also helped us put our pajamas on. Soon we were all cuddled up in bed, holding on to each other with happy, sleepy smiles gracing our faces. 

“I love you guys,” I said, snuggling impossibly closer to them. Spencer giggled at my antics, his long limps wrapped around the both of us before drowsily mumbling he loves us too. We waited, peeking one eye open to see if Luke would say it back.

“I love you guys too, even if you’re both a couple of brats.” 

We laughed with him, because we all know that he loved our bratty sides the most. I drifted to sleep, in the comfortable embrace of the men I love most in the world.

[kenkamishiro]

Lost in Translation: Choujin X chapter 1

Fun fact, I was planning to do fan translations for Choujin X with a scan group until it could get a simulpub release, though I didn’t expect it to get one from the very first chapter lol. I’m happy though since it means everyone can read it right away and it doesn’t mess up my schedule.

So instead I’ll be making comparison notes between the EN and JP text to supplement the official translation. I’m not doing this because the official TL is bad (I actually think it’s pretty solid and I hope it will maintain this quality) but because it’s inevitable for something to be lost in translation, and it’s nice to have that additional context for theory crafting and whatnot.

If you want to read it on Twitter instead, the original thread is here, but this is the proofread and way more detailed version 😄

This translation isn’t wrong, but there’s an emphasis on それ (which is TLed as ‘it’) that connotes a stronger, “other, that thing” feeling that isn’t present here. The general idea behind this sentence is: That [becoming a Choujin] resembles more of a disease [than a transformation].

Ely talks like a tomboy, she uses rougher speech patterns and the pronoun オラ (ora), a derivative of the masculine 'ore'. But it's a bit old-fashioned (eg. すまなんだ) which makes sense considering her upbringing with her grandfather on a farm. Hence her country bumpkin speech pattern in English.

Not sure if I should use Ellie or Ely? Ellie makes more sense based on the kana, but Ishida explicitly called her Ely so I might stick with Ely for now... (also istg that blond guy with the huge chin is a reference, I've seen him somewhere)

Tokio, I know your teacher is annoying, but it's rude to call her that lol. This is basically the oppai equivalent of paisen (senpai backwards, it’s slangier). Similar thing actually happened with Ely describing her dream hubby as Goldilocks instead of blond; ‘kinpatsu’ (blond hair) was inverted to become ‘patsukin’, hence the translation as Goldilocks.

Kurohara Tokio (黒原トキオ) and Higashi Azuma (東アヅマ). Kurohara is a common surname, means 'black fields'. Tokio is in katakana, so it’s hard to say what kanji it could be. 'Toki' could be 時 (time) or 外喜 (outside + delight). The 'o' can be the common male name suffix 男 (boy).

But when I think of Tokio, I think of TK's song called 'tokio'. You can read the translated lyrics here. If these lyrics end up being relevant to Tokio's character development I will eat my shoe lol.

Higashi means 'east'. Azuma (which can also be romanized as Aduma, it’s a softer ‘zu’ sound which is why Tokio called Azuma ‘Aju’ earlier in the chapter before correcting himself) is an archaic form of ‘east’. So...this guy is literally East East. The Choujin X equivalent of Moon Moon 😂

Someone also informed me that Higashi Azuma is a station in Tokyo, though the kana are slightly different (アヅマ／あづま vs. あずま). They effectively sound the same though nowadays, if I have to be honest. It’s like comparing the difference between 애 and 에 in Korean.

Tbh this is minor, but worth mentioning just cause it changes the meaning a bit. Tokio is saying something more like, “Why are we even talking about this [the roly-polies] again?”

I think I heard people talking about how the official TL doesn’t match the original text, but personally I really like how this was translated! Sis is using the expression  「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」, which literally means “boiling the dirt under someone’s fingernails and drinking it”. By taking the dirt/grime under the fingernails of someone that you admire, and boiling it and drinking it like a tea, you can become more like them.

But because idioms don’t tend to directly translate well between languages, translators often have to adapt it so that the meaning still remains the same. In English the closest idiom we have to this is “rubbing off on someone.” The “holding hands” bit was added to replace the physical aspect of “taking the dirt from someone’s fingernails” and also contribute to Sis’s sassy and very informal way of speaking.

So Sis is saying in JP (ignoring her personal speech style for now):

You should take the dirt from under [Azuma's] fingernails and boil it so you can be more like him.

And now in ENG it becomes:

You guys should hold hands or something, then maybe he’ll rub off on you.

It now sounds natural in English, still carries the same meaning as the original text, and also suits the character’s speech pattern.

Moving on, in that same panel the literal TL of Tokio’s dialogue is, “Policeman Azuma got dispatched again today,” emphasizing Azuma’s heroic deeds along with his family connections to the police. Another thing I want to note is that this is the second time Azuma has been called 偉い (erai) so far - noble, and now great guy. I’ll just dump the general English definition of 偉い from Jisho here so you get the general idea:

Great; excellent; admirable; remarkable; distinguished; important; celebrated; famous; eminent

But you can tell from how people describe Azuma as 偉い that others look up to him, think he’s a great person and Mr. Perfect. Always being placed on a pedestal by others. (What are the odds this will affect his mentality after the Choujin serum?)

The meaning is still pretty much the same, but I’ll offer a slightly different perspective. Sis mentions that if she were Tokio, she’d burst from the [Azuma] complex. (Clearly Tokio and Azuma's relationship is gonna crack at some point)

Tokio mentions an idiom about hawks (taka) before recalling his childhood memory about vultures. Vultures are called 'hagewashi', but in the chapter it mentions they can also be called 'hagetaka' (buzzard/condor, literally bald hawk).

The kids call him names like "Hagetaka Tokio" and "Hageo". But Hagetaka Tokio only really works in JP cause Hagetaka kinda mimics his last name (Buzzard Tokio doesn't give the same vibe). Same with Hageo. Hage-o = Bald-o = Baldy.

I also think Buzzard was chosen over another name for a vulture like Condor because Buzzard can pass off as an insult.

I would have translated this as, “I wanted to be a lion too...” but this is just personal preference.

A continuation of the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression Sis used earlier. Without the adapted idiom the exchange goes something like this:

Tokio: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?

Azuma: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.

Tokio: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.

Azuma: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.

But since the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression was modified to make it sound natural in English, it means this conversation has to be modified too.

JP: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?

EN: My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you. What do you think?

The “dirt from under your nails” part got adapted to “holding hands”, hence how the 1st line from Tokio becomes, “My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you.” “Can I have some?” makes no sense now in this context now, so it was changed to “What do you think?” as a question to Azuma to keep the similar conversation flow going.

JP: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.

EN: Huh? What’re you talking about? No thanks.

Azuma’s next line is similar enough to the JP text except for the removal of “scary”. I think the reason it was most likely removed is because leaving it as it is could be constituted as homophobic (2 boys holding hands, absolutely nothing scary about it as bible thumpers would like people to believe).

JP: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.

EN: She said to hold hands so you’ll rub off on me.

Tokio’s response to that is explaining what he meant by his proposal. In the original text he lays out the latter half of the idiom (he doesn’t even realize it’s an expression, poor boy), and in English he does something similar by going into why his sister said they should hold hands (so Azuma can rub off on Tokio).

JP: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.

EN: C’mon. That’s not how things work.

Azuma’s then rebuts Tokio’s proposal as ridiculous. In the original text he drops a typical straight man response (don’t do *insert whatever ridiculous thing the idiot suggested*). But since Tokio’s proposal in English isn’t as preposterous, his rebuttal is toned down in response by telling him not to take it literally.

Ultimately, even though a lot of this dialogue was changed, I still think it was successful in maintaining the original’s intent. Tokio takes his sister’s sarcastic suggestion literally and brings it up to Azuma, who dismisses it as silly. It would be nice if we could keep the expression as it was in Japanese, but in instances like this where it’s played off of in multiple lines, that’s easier said than done.

軟体 isn’t an actual word, it’s made up of the kanji soft + body. So kinda like Elastigirl, but Flexi was chosen instead. It doesn’t sound 100% right, but I don’t think I could come up with anything better.

Replacing the しい in 楽しい with the C plus that elongated pronunciation makes Johnny sound even more like a stereotypical Yankee, which is why he sounds like that in English 😂

Random but I found it interesting how Azuma called Johnny a youkai (妖怪) instead of something like bakemono (化け物) or obake (お化け) since they’re shapeshifting monsters.

Tokio is worried that if he doesn't do something right now, he's going to lose his friendship with Azuma. The sentence is fine as it is though.

Azuma’s line can also be worded as, "No hard feelings, okay?"

Bestial = 獣化 (juuka) = beast+change = beast transformation

That’s it from me, if you have questions about the TL feel free to send an ask or reply to this post, I promise I’ll check my inbox more often this time 😂

[dangerous-mess]

Holiday Troubles

Characters: Aizawa, trans male reader

Contains: Unsupportive family, transphobia, homophobia, misgendering, mentions of a deadname (D/N), mentions of religion and praying, mentions of dysphoria, angst, hurt/comfort, angst with fluff ending. This was written mainly as a comfort fic during the winter holidays but wanted to post this here (originally posted on AO3). Please read with caution as this content may be triggering for some

Word Count: 2K+ 

The holidays were always rough for you, being not only gay but transgender as well. There were the off-putting tension and feelings every time you walked in the room, and the side glances and judgemental glares that were shot your way if you were even caught wearing something feminine and not masculine. Mostly from your parents and family, feeling the obligation that you had to follow gender norms in the hope to not only pass but to be taken seriously in your own identity.

The holidays got a little easier once you married your now husband. He made visiting your family a bit easier and made the holidays in general, more enjoyable for you. This year, unfortunately, he had meetings and a nightly patrol that he couldn’t get out of, so you were left to go to the Christmas family gathering by yourself.

The day came, and needless to say, you were a nervous mess. You dressed up in a suit, something masculine of course to appease your family and keep those comments at bay. Though, you knew you weren’t in the clear as there was still a high chance of being deadnamed and misgendered by family who were unsupportive or others who just didn’t try. Your husband, Shouta, let you know before he left early that morning that if you needed anything at all to give him or Hizashi a call and they would come and get you in a heartbeat. He said Hizashi, just in case he couldn’t be reached, which was fine with you, Hizashi had become a close friend to you.

You arrived at your parent's house a little later than they asked, just cause you were nervous and needed more time to prepare for this evening. You knocked on the front door, adjusting your suit as you waited for someone to open the door, only to be greeted by one of your younger siblings. They gave you a big hug, before dragging you inside where you were greeted by family. Your grandmother was the first to deadname you. She called out as you talked to your uncle, a devious smile on her face as the name rolled off her tongue. You cringed hearing it and so badly wanted to correct her, but if your mother caught wind that you did, who knows what drama may pursue. You endured the conversation with her, as she made sure to drop in your deadname every chance she could get.

“Honestly D/N, you really should stop playing dress up and realize that you are a girl. Your husband would be so much happier to have a wife who knows her place and not some confused girl.”

You took a deep breath and bid your goodbyes to your grandmother as you went to find someone else to talk to. Eventually, dinner was called, and you all gathered around and your grandfather said a prayer. You looked down at your feet the entire time, not really wanting to participate in the prayer. Soon it wrapped up and a line formed into the kitchen to get food. After everyone got food, everyone gathered around and talked, telling stories of things that happened within the past year in their lives, as well as asking questions to others to get the latest scoop. You just decided to eat silently, trying to not participate in the gossip fest happening before you.

“So Y/N, how are you and your husband doing?” Your dad asked before he took a sip of a beer. You held up your pointer finger, signaling that you needed a moment as your finished chewing food before you smiled and spoke.

“Oh, we are doing well! He sends his deepest apologies that he couldn’t make it, hero duties called.” You smiled, taking a quick glance around the room. Some whispers were exchanged, knowing it was about you and Shouta. It was clear that besides your family not supporting your identity, they also did not support your marriage to a hero. Especially a hero who was supportive of you and your identity.

“Honestly, how she manages to keep such a hero man, is insane. Like who would wanna marry some confused lesbian?” One of your aunts spoke out. You gripped your glass tightly, biting your tongue, not wanting to start any issues.

Other family members chimed in to add on to your aunt's comment and soon it became too much. You quickly excused yourself and went to the bathroom farthest away from your family. You pulled out your phone and texted your husband. You told him that you needed him or Hizashi or someone to come to pick you up, as you originally walked, as it was nice earlier prior to the sun setting. You quickly got a reply, saying your husband was on his way, and that he was getting someone to cover the rest of his patrol. You felt a bit bad to interrupt and have him leave his patrol, but god you just needed him right now more than anything.

You hid amongst the rooms as you waited for Shouta to send you a message or signal that he was here. Your mom called out your name, walking down the hall looking for you. The smile on her face dropped as she saw you and grabbed your arm.

“Come on Y/N, we are about to exchange gifts. Stop trying to hide and be nice and spend time with your family. It took a lot of work and effort to get everyone here, like your grandparents who haven’t seen you in ages.” Your mom aggressively whispered at you, as she pulled you towards the living room. You stayed silently, hoping that your husband would be here soon.

Your mom let you go and pointed to a chair near the tree. You sat down and were handed some gifts. You slowly opened them, trying not to draw attention to yourself. The first gift was in a gift bag, and opening it exposed a colorful piece of clothing. You pulled it out and it was a sundress. Although you didn’t mind breaking gender norms, dresses were never your thing, they held too many bad memories and made you dysphoric. You frowned, not having the energy to fake a smile. You felt your mind start to spiral before a voice pulled you out.

“Oh, D/N do you not like it. I made sure to even get the right size and everything. I thought you could put that on and surprise your husband when you go home. Imagine how he would react to see his wife, finally coming to terms with herself.” Your grandmother called out, staring at you the entire time. You went to open your mouth when another voice spoke up.

“Actually, I think my husband looks handsome and perfect just the way he is in the suit he is wearing, but thank you. Maybe we can save the dress and give it to one of my students, I know one of them would get much better use of it.” Shouta’s voice boomed out, making a hush fall across the room. You never heard the front door open, but then again Shouta was very good at staying silent. You looked at your husband, feeling all your emotions and feelings starting to rise to the surface. You caught a dirty look your mother gave you as you stood up and made your way over to Shouta.

He held out his hand as you got closer and held it tightly, quickly bidding goodbye for you both as he quickly led you outside to the car that was waiting outside and still running. “I had Hizashi drive me over, hope that’s okay.” You just nodded at him, not letting go of his hand until you got into the car. As soon as you and Shouta were in the car, Hizashi sped off.

“Heya listener, how did it go?” Hizashi asked out, peeking into the mirror looking back at you.

“I lasted longer than last year, so that’s a new record at least.” You joked, trying not to cry. At least not now, you had to make it until you were home and in bed, with your husband holding you close.

Hizashi talked most of the ride home, while Shouta kept glancing back at you. You tried to listen to what was being said, but you couldn’t focus, so you just looked out the window, slightly dozing off. You woke up to the feeling of being carried, your eyes adjusted as you saw Shouta was carrying you into the house and to the bedroom. On any other occasion, if he was carrying you like this you were bound to tease or crack a joke or something, but in this moment you just stayed in his arms, gripping onto him tightly. Once you both got to the bedroom, he helped you undress and slip on something comfy. After he finished helping you, he quickly changed and climbed into bed, pulling you close to him and holding you tightly.

For a while, you just laid there in his arms, fighting back the urge to scream and cry. Though, after he comforted you and let you know it was okay to be upset and that you could let it all out. In which you did, you sobbed in his chest for what felt like hours. You screamed and sobbed and let out all the feelings you bottled up for the few hours you were at the family gathering. Eventually, you ran out of tears to cry and were only left with your own thoughts. You were overthinking, mostly dwelling on the words your family spoke out to you this evening, and couldn’t help but question if it was true.

“Sho...I’ve got to ask you something, kind of important.” You gently pushed away and sat up in the bed, looking at him. He stared at you, and nodded, letting you know it was okay to continue on. You took a deep breath and went for it, “Am I enough for you? I brought a lot of baggage and trouble into our relationship and I know it can’t be easy for you dating me, specifically with the backlash and comments that get made by my family and others about me transitioning and just. If you were with anyone else, I feel like you won’t get all this drama and I’m sorry I’ve brought so much of it onto you Shouta.”

You watched as his facial expression changed and you quickly looked away, finding interest in anything that wasn’t his face, afraid of what his reaction not only meant but the words that were about to follow. “Y/N, please look at me.” You slowly looked up and he placed a hand on your cheek. “I love you Y/N. I love you for you, you are my husband and I won’t want anyone else besides me. You are more than enough for me. And we both have a lot of baggage but that doesn’t change my feelings for you, we can work through it all together. I meant what I said in my vows and at our wedding and I still stand by it. Forever and always.”

You fiddled with your fingers before speaking up, “I love you Shouta so much, I’m just afraid one day I won’t be enough, cause as silly as it is, I don’t feel masculine or manly enough, that you’ll find more of a ‘real’ man one day and just leave me behind.” Tears filled your eyes and you looked down, just wanting to hide under the blankets.

“Y/N Aizawa, you are absolutely masculine and manly enough. I will never find anyone else or more a man than you. You are all I want, and all I need. I love you so much, don’t ever doubt my love for you, cause it is never-ending sweetheart.” Shouta spoke out, lifting your head up and placing a small kiss on your forehead before pulling you into his arms, holding you close. You just stayed there close, as Shouta whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you drifted off to sleep.

Shouta always made the holidays more bearable, but he also made life in general easier. He made waking up a little easier and helped with your hectic thoughts to calm you down. He truly was the love of your life and the best you could ever ask for. You couldn’t have gotten any luckier to have a husband as sweet and perfect as you. He may not be the number one hero to the rest of the world, but in your eyes and his heart, he was, he was your number one hero.

[lillywillow]

Swapped

Summary: When you lose your grandfather’s pocket watch, you pick up a stranger’s compass by mistake.

 Word Count: 1096

 Square Filled: Steve’s Compass

 Pairings: Steve x Reader

 Warnings: Maybe the tiniest bit of angst if you squint

@star-spangled-bingo

 When your grandfather passed away, one of the things he left to you was his pocket watch. It was worth quite a bit of money but to you, that didn’t matter; it was the sentimental value that was important to you. Your grandfather received it on his 21st birthday, he carried it throughout his time in the army and because of that watch, he met your grandmother. The watch held a picture of her inside. You carried it everywhere with you, keeping it in pristine shape. Your grandfather’s pocket watch was your most prized possession.

...

 One afternoon, you were in a big rush to catch a particular store before they closed. You were in such a hurry, you didn’t notice when a person walked into your path, causing you to collide, sending both of you to the ground.

 “Ow...” the man groaned.

 “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!”

 You scrambled to your feet to help the stranger up. He smiled sheepishly and got to his feet. You were both dusting yourselves off when you realised you were missing something. The pair of you searched the ground in a panic before picking up your lost items with a sigh of relief.

 “Oh, shoot! Now I’m really late!” you cried, running off once more. “Sorry again!” you called over your shoulder.

...

 Later that day, you took out your father’s pocket watch to check the time when you realised something. The photo of the woman inside the lid was not your grandmother... and this was a compass. Panic rose in your chest. Why did you have this object? You suddenly remembered your collision earlier in the day. This compass must have meant just as much to the man as much as your compass meant to you. He would be long gone from the place you bumped into him but you knew you had to return it to him.

...

 Steve had a bad day. He didn’t sleep well the night before meaning he didn’t get up in time for his usual morning jog, nor did he make it to his favourite diner before they stopped serving breakfast, the training session with Nat later in the day had been brutal and to top it all off someone in the park ploughed into him. Steve didn’t really blame the stranger but he was tired and cranky. Wanting to feel a little better, he took out his compass to look at the photo of Peggy only to find not only was this not his compass but the woman was not Peggy. Why did he have this pocket watch? The abrupt crash in the park with the stranger entered his mind. He must have picked it up then by accident. Maybe Stark could help him track down the watch’s rightful owner using facial recognition or whatever it was they used nowadays.

...

 Using the newspaper clipping as a clue to the mystery woman’s identity, you were deep into your research, completely forgetting your original mission. Peggy Carter truly was an amazing woman with incredible accomplishments. She was definitely the type of strong female role model you looked up to. You jumped as your phone rang, the sound pulling you from your thoughts.

 “Hello?” you answered.

 “Hi. Um... is Y/N L/N?” a male’s voice asked on the other end of the line.

 “Yes, it is. Who may I ask is calling?”

 “My name is Steve Rogers. I think we bumped into each other at the park... literally.”

 “Oh, it’s you! I’m so glad you called. I have been doing research to find the rightful owner of the compass... how did you get my number?”

 “I have a friend who helped me track down any living relatives of the woman in the compass. I called your father first and he gave me your number...”

 “I see... Well, shall we meet up? I imagine you’re just as anxious to get your compass back as I am to get my watch back.”

 “I am...”

 After arranging a time, a place and what you would both be wearing so you could correctly identify each other, you hung up.

...

 A while later, you were sitting at a cafe nearby waiting for Steve when a man wearing a blue baseball cap and sunglasses approached you.

 “Y/N?” he asked.

 “Yes. You must be Steve,” you replied, encouraging him to take a seat as you retrieved the compass.

 Steve sat down and got out the watch and soon the pair of you had your items back with a small sigh of relief.

 “She was beautiful,” Steve remarked, referring to the photograph.

 “She was... my grandfather met her in a watch shop back when he was in the service. Her father owned the shop and he brought this watch in for repairs. He carried her picture in it when he was shipped out as a promise to return to her. When he did, they were always together until the day she passed... the watch brought great comfort to my grandfather, especially when the dementia set in...”

 Steve listened to your story with interest. He briefly wondered if it was the kind of story he and Peggy might have had if circumstances had been different.

 “Who was Peggy to you?”

 Steve looked at you in surprise.

 “How did you...?”

 “I used the newspaper article to work out who she was so I could try to find you. I got so distracted by everything she did; I forgot to look for any next of kin... so, who was she to you?” you repeated.

 Steve became flustered and that’s when it dawned on you.

 “Are you...?”

 Steve looked at you, silently begging not to blow his cover.

 “You really are, aren’t you?”

 He nodded and looked at his hands.

 “This... this is amazing,” you whispered reverently. “May I buy you a coffee? It’s the least I can do after crashing into you the way I did...”

 Steve thought about it for a moment. Perhaps this was the universe telling him to move on and start a new life.

 “Sure,” he smiled.

 You spent the rest of your day getting to know each other better and swapping stories. In a way, losing your grandfather’s pocket watch was one of the best things that could ever happen to you and Steve could say the same about his compass.

[taephilia]

lost (myself) & found (you)

pairing: jeon jungkook x gn!reader

genre: fluff, soulmate au, based off of kimi no na wa

warnings: one (1) swear word

word count: 2,120

a/n: i saw this quote from the movie and inspiration just struck and i haven't been able to get it out of my head since. ofc i wrote this for jungkook since he's a weeb and said he would also want to hear bells ring when he meets his soulmate <3 also this is not edited lol i'll come back to it later, i just wanted to get this out

"Once in a while when I wake up, I find myself crying. The dream I must’ve had I can never recall. But… the sensation that I’ve lost something, lingers for a long time after I wake up." - Tachibana Taki, Kimi No Na Wa (2016)

Jungkook isn’t sure how long he’s felt like this—felt like something is missing, something important, something that his heart just can’t seem to let go of even if his brain has already forgotten. He knows that he dreams of whatever it is. He recalls scenes as he goes about his day; a loud laugh here, a brush of a hand against his there. People that he’s never seen before walking by him in a city he’s never been to, music playing on the radio that he’s never heard, a family that he comes home to that he doesn’t recognize at all. It’s all very strange and Jungkook is starting to wonder if maybe the late night ramen he’s built up a habit of eating has gone bad or maybe the unhealthy amounts of salt in it are the cause behind this. Because it was all fun and games until Jungkook’s heart starts to ache, like it’s calling out to someone that his brain can’t even conjure up an image for. Someone that he would search the ends of the cosmos for, someone that, whenever he feels like he gets close to them, slips right through his fingers like grains of sand. But he shakes it off whenever the feeling comes and ignores the heavy feeling in his chest in favor of paying attention to that day’s classes. If he had somehow found his soulmate, it definitely wouldn’t be someone in his hometown in the countryside.

Soulmate. That’s who his grandfather had told him he’s been dreaming about ever since Jungkook confessed almost two months ago about the reason behind his ever-present furrowed brows and faraway look in his eyes. He says that it had happened to him when he was around Jungkook’s age but, like most dreams, he’s forgotten who it was. He then went on to talk about the red thread of fate and that’s when Jungkook started tuning out. It’s a nice concept to think about when you’re a child—a red string tied around your pinky that connects you to the person that you’re destined to be with—but it’s just a myth and Jungkook doesn’t have time to think about things that aren’t real. Not when he barely has the time to think about the things that are real, like college entrance exams and graduating from high school.

So he buries his head in his books and pours every last drop of blood, sweat, and tears into his studies to get into his dream college in Seoul. The yearning in his heart doesn’t go away but it’s eclipsed by the pure exhaustion that he feels at the end of every day. And, like most dreams, he forgets.

Jungkook is 23 when he seriously begins to wonder whether or not he’s going crazy. He had thought he was going over the deep end while in college but hearing bells go off? Now that takes the cake. It happens at random; he never knows when the bells in his head will ring (and Jungkook knows that only he can hear them because nobody around him ever gives any sort of indication that they’ve heard them) no matter how much he tries to prepare for it. He checks his surroundings every day, eyes scanning over the crowds of people weaving around him in Seoul, but it’s no use. The only consistent location that they seem to chime in is when he’s on the metro and even then, it’s on random days, at random times, and not always at the same stop.

He’s not the type to go chasing after fairy tales, or at least, he isn’t anymore. He doesn’t have time to think hard and long about what these imaginary bells could mean, not when he has a job to do and people to impress and money to be made. And his grandfather died during his second year of college so the only conversation of “soulmates” that occurs now are the ones he has with himself in his head and the memories of their conversations years ago. But as fate would have it, Jungkook took a couple of days off to get an early start to the weekend and he is just itching for an adventure. So when he hears the bells go off while he’s making his way to his connecting train, he closes his eyes for a brief moment and puts himself into the hands of fate.

Jungkook allows his feet to carry him where they want, observing his surroundings and keeping an eye out for any person who gives any sort of indication to hearing something that they shouldn’t be hearing. He climbs up the stairs and out of the station, not giving any attention to the people who side-eye him for standing still on a bustling sidewalk, but looks down at his hand instead. In particular, at his pinky, which feels like there’s something squeezing at it. Like… like a thread that’s been tied snugly around it.

The red thread of fate, a voice in his head whispers to him and Jungkook almost chuckles out loud at the thought. And then almost laughs out loud again because, although he doesn’t believe in soulmates, his actions say otherwise. Because as much as Jungkook doesn’t believe in soulmates… Well, the thought of them and the red thread of fate being real is nice, isn’t it? Someone that you’re destined to be with, connected to by a string that can tangle and stretch but will never fray, keeping you tied to them for all eternity. It’s a comforting thought, especially when he thinks of his extremely lacking love life that comes with his high standards and fear of rejection.

Jungkook passes by a bakery during his fate-led walk and just as he’s considering stopping in to buy something, he hears the bells again. A light sound, one that could be mistaken for a phone notification, but one that he knows very well. But Jungkook’s soulmate must be as used to the sound as he is because no one around him gives any sort of indication that they’re also in search of him. And after an hour and a half of walking around a part of the city that he isn’t too familiar with, he’s ready to call it quits for the night. So Jungkook makes his way to the nearest metro station and gets on a train home.

Of course, that’s when he hears the bells again.

He looks up from his phone and around the crowded train but nobody has been able to move since the doors closed. And if it were someone near him, he would have heard them before. There’s a flash out of the corner of his eye and when Jungkook looks up and out the window of the sliding doors, he sees a pair of eyes staring back. A pair of eyes that are not his but in fact belong to someone in a train traveling right next to his. They stare right at him and mirror his own when they widen at the exact same time as his. But just as soon as Jungkook finds you, he loses you just as quickly when your train goes in a different direction.

Jungkook spends the entire day the next day looking for you. He manages to cross off everything on his “things to do when I’m in Seoul” bucket list that he’s been adding on to for the past 10 years. His feet hurt, his wallet feels significantly lighter than when he first left his apartment, and he’s wondering how much weight he lost from walking what feels like the entire expanse of Seoul three times over. And even after all that, he hasn’t heard the bells. Not once.

And it’s at this point, when Jungkook decides to eat dinner at his favorite ramen shop before calling it a night, that he begins to wonder if he had missed his chance last night. Not like it was much of a chance considering the fact that you were on a different train and he had no way of getting to you. But fate is cruel, isn’t that what some people say? Maybe his thread is just so tangled, so frayed, that it’ll take a lifetime before he’s able to get another glimpse at you. And Jungkook just isn’t that patient.

He can barely even remember what you look like anymore. Maybe it’s the hunger eating away at his stomach and the aching of his feet but as he eats his ramen, he can only recall vague details about you. Like how he wants to drown in your eyes, how soft your skin looks even through two dirty train door windows, and how he thinks your shiny hair probably smells nice - like vanilla or peaches or something. But your face? Absolutely nothing. It’s like he blacked out the second he looked up at you last night.

Jungkook leans back in his seat as he sips at his water, staring out the window of the shop as if you would walk past right that second. But you don’t. So Jungkook throws a couple of bills down onto the table for a tip and heads out, a sigh leaving his lips when he looks around but doesn’t hear any bells. Now that he’s had a chance to sit down and eat, he feels a bit more rational and more determined to find you—but that can wait until tomorrow after he’s had a good night’s sleep. It’s a bit later in the evening so there’s barely anyone around him as he makes his way to the nearest metro station that will take him home. Jungkook is just about to descend the stairs when something makes him stop. He’s not really sure what it is that he stops for; the bus honking on the street beside him or the group of friends laughing as they walk by him? Or perhaps it’s the person at the bottom of the stairs, their eyes looking down as they climb up, but Jungkook just knows that it’s you.

Well, he doesn’t actually know. He’s pretty sure it’s you. It feels like it’s you. But is that fate talking or just his hopeful heart? Jungkook decides not to say anything and slowly walks down the stairs. The bells will tell him if he’s right. Your eyes glance up and meet his and Jungkook sees them widen, but like him, you don’t say anything. Are you waiting to hear your own bells?

He shoves his hands deep into the pocket of his hoodie, eyes quickly darting away from yours to stare holes into the ground as he keeps walking. His heart beats faster with every step and he has to resist the urge to just stare at you point blank because he needs to know and-

He hears the bells. And it’s like a weight is taken off of his shoulders.

But he keeps walking. And you keep walking. And now Jungkook is panicking because why the fuck is he still walking? You’re his soulmate, he found you, so why isn’t he stopping? Jungkook tries to get his feet to stop moving, to just turn around and call out to you but he can’t. What would he even say? ‘Hey, you’? He doesn’t even know your name. ‘I think you’re my soulmate’? How disgustingly cliche. What if you don’t even care that he’s your soulmate? What if you’re already seeing someone? What if he’s the only one that can hear the bells for you and you hear them for someone else? What if-

“Um, excuse me?”

Jungkook almost trips on the last step from how fast he turns around at the sound of your voice. His hands feel clammy but he keeps them in his pocket otherwise you’d be able to see how they’re shaking ever so slightly. He drags his eyes up to yours and suddenly, every bit of anxiety he felt is suddenly gone. Is this what it’s supposed to feel like?

“Have we met before? You seem really familiar.”

You’re at the top of the stairs now but you step down a few steps, as if you want to get closer. Jungkook climbs back up a few steps because he does want to get closer. There’s an easy smile on his face as he says, “Found you.”

He isn’t sure where it came from. He isn’t even exactly sure what he means. But it feels like the right thing to say, like something that he’s vaguely remembering from a dream he had a long time ago. And judging from the matching smile on your own face, you know what Jungkook means.

“Took you long enough.”