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puddygeeks · 4 years ago

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Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ - Tʜᴇ 100 Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ x OC - Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 45: Mᴀʀᴋɪɴɢ Tᴇʀʀɪᴛᴏʀʏ

A/N: We’re back baby! It’s taken me a little while but I’ve worked through my crap and I honestly have too much love for this story to let it go. I have so many plans and I’m still committed to developing Bellamy and Indigo’s relationship and journey. I’ll be continuing to use GIF’s because I actually still have not seen the entire show so it’s impossible for me to recast at this point. I’m in process of watching season 3 now as I like to go into things as blind as Indie does. If you’re not able to return to this story, that’s okay and thank you for all of your support so far. For everyone still here, your love for this story means the world to me <3

Masterlist

Rating: Mature

Summary: During her time in the Skybox, Indigo formed a precious friendship with fellow outcast Octavia Blake, the girl under the floor. At first they thought their departure from the oppression of the Ark was a blessing, but quickly came to rely on Indigo's keen survival instincts. The 100 struggle to meet the challenges of Earth whilst Bellamy strives to lead the wavering teenagers and his irresponsible attitude fuels constant conflict with Indigo. Their only shared interest is in protecting Octavia and Indigo beings to suspect that there is a deeper cause to Bellamy's seemingly irrational choices. As the consequences of his actions mount up around him, he finally begins to confide in her and she discovers more than she ever bargained for.

Fandom: CW’s The 100

Pairing: OC x Bellamy Blake

LONG TERM ONGOING PROJECT :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

Warnings: Mature content. Non-consent, language, sex, self harm, suicide, anxiety, helplessness, torture, captivity/confinement, alcohol/drug use.

Chapter Forty-Five

My shift finally drew to a close, leaving me exhausted and I felt that I had worked off enough of my earlier anger to only be left with a simmering bitterness. I wandered toward Bellamy’s quarters with a knot in my stomach as I expected an argument and for a moment I considered whether to simply hide in dorms for the night. I took a steadying breath before stepping inside and found Bellamy in the middle of undressing for bed. He turned at the sound of the door and a tired smile spread across his overworked face as he noticed me.

“You’re back.” He breathed with a tone of relief and I wondered if he hadn’t expected me to return.

“I am.” I replied awkwardly as I waited in the doorway for any indication of his mood.

There wasn’t any visible anger in his demeanour, or I was stunned to find that he didn’t seem to be interested in causing a fight between us. Instead, he simply continued to prepare for bed and I slid my jacket off casually as I strolled further into the room to place it on a chair. I considered removing my trousers and simply climbing into bed, as the desperately tired part of my brain demanded that I sleep immediately, but I was still unsure if I were welcome here following his earlier remarks. I turned toward the bed to confront Bellamy, but was immediately cut off as he stepped into my space to draw me into a heated kiss. My breath hitched at the sudden contact as his hands squeezed my hips and I had to lean against the dresser to brace myself against his enthusiasm.

My mind was reeling at his unexpected energy and I realised that my expectations of this evening were completely incorrect. He gathered me against his chest and my entire body thrummed with excitement, despite the concerned thoughts still buzzing around in the back of my mind. For once, I was annoyed with the intoxication of his touch and knew that the tension of this morning still lingered in the back of both of our minds. I tore myself away from his lips with an overpowering reluctance and attempted a stern expression, but he simply moved to peppering kisses along my neck as he threaded a hand into my hair.

“Bel.” I hoped to be authoritative and although it was clear from my tone that I wanted his attention, his name fell from my lips in a far more breathy manner than I had intended. He groaned against my skin and as he dragged himself up to meet my eyes, I acknowledged that he didn’t appreciate the interruption.

“I don’t want to talk.” He clarified and despite how direct his words were, I couldn’t detect an ounce of malice in his voice, nor any indication of the attitude that he’d addressed me with this morning. Instead, there was something vulnerable in his eyes that made me wonder if his overnight adventures had affected him more than he was currently willing to admit.

“Then, what do you want?” I asked with a frown and I knew that he understood that I was referring to more than just in this moment. The way that he’d spoken as if there was a deep hurt earlier had left me doubtful if he’d even want me here and if we weren’t going to discuss it, I would at least give him the option to tell me if he wanted me to leave after this.

“You. I want you.” He asserted as he stared into my eyes and I was relieved that we understood each other so well. When he next pressed his lips to mine, there was an urgency that spurred me forward. Before I could think twice about talking, he had twisted us around to lower me to the bed. I knew from the desperation of his actions that he craved the distraction and he barely paused enough to allow me to gather my thoughts. Okay, we can talk about this later.

***

My new routine of training in the morning and working shifts in mechanical in the afternoon allowed a week to fly past without my notice. Monty remained adamant that I didn’t shoulder too much of the strain and so on days that I had an afternoon available, I found myself assisting with preparing food for the camp whilst Bellamy was busy in meetings or training sessions. There had been no mention of the conversation by the gates and although Bellamy behaved awkwardly every time that he caught me on route to a shift, he hadn’t mentioned Knox at all since. I hadn’t decided how to bring this up in a way that would allow for a conversation rather than a confrontation. Things between us were still fresh and I was nervous that addressing this might trigger a conversation about what the nature of our relationship was. I’d already grown comfortable in our warm routine and I didn’t want to jeopardise it by asking for more. For the time being, I had decided to simply enjoy every moment for what it was and to not obsess over the longevity of it.

Now that I was beginning to regain my strength, my lessons with Octavia and Lincoln had intensified and although I’d given the stipulation that they couldn’t cover me in bruises, they’d mastered getting as close as possible without leaving marks. I felt confident in my progression and discovered that it was a helpful method of both burning off the anger that I buried inside and leaving me too exhausted to spend the entire night filled with nightmares. I considered it an achievement to have simply reduced the number of painful visions that haunted my sleep and I embraced any progress that I could gain.

After a particularly intense morning, I settled in the courtyard of camp to wind down. Monty had taken the shift in mechanical and I hadn’t yet volunteered for kitchen duty, which allowed me the chance to savour the cool midday air.

“Hey Indigo, enjoying some time off?” A nervous voice drew my attention and I glanced up to find Knox smiling at me bashfully.

“Hey bud.” I cheered as I leaned back in a relaxed manner and smiled encouragingly at my insecure companion. “Yeah, Monty wouldn’t let me have the shift so I’ll probably just hit the kitchen again.” I commented lightly and he nodded.

“That explains it.” He muttered and I tilted my head quizzically at him. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you not working somewhere, or training. I didn’t realise you knew how to take a break.” He added with a sly smile and I gasped in surprise.

“And I didn’t realise you were a smartass!” I remarked as I jabbed at him playfully and he chuckled. “Did Wick give you any more crazy assignments yet?” I enquired with interest and he detailed the latest impossible task that he’d been given to share with Raven’s equally talented science friend. Knox had filled me in on some camp rumours that there was some kind of romance going on between her and Wick, and I retained this information to investigate when I had the opportunity to catch Raven alone. I glanced to my side to notice one of the kitchen staffers crossing the courtyard. “Hold that thought Knox, I’ll be right back.” I chirped as I rushed over to meet them and arranged to assist with preparing meals later on. Once she left, I turned to find Bellamy standing silently beside me and jolted so hard that I actually felt my soul leave my body for a moment.

“Jesus, don’t do that!” I gasped as I held a hand to my chest and he shook his head as he smiled in amusement. “Seriously, it’s creepy! Couldn’t you...I don’t know, stomp your feet or make a noise or something when you approach to give me a warning? You’re so damn stealthy.” I blurted and he couldn’t contain a snort of laughter at my comments.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He chuckled as he placed his hands in his pockets in a relaxed posture. “Good workout?” He asked with a hint of a smirk and I pursed my lips at him before breaking into a playful smile.

“Oh yeah, I beat the crap out of both of them.” I joked as I mimicked some speedy punches and he smiled warmly at my childish display. It didn’t last long as I quickly realised that I didn’t have enough energy remaining and sighed in exhaustion.

“Easy Xena, you’ll put me out of a job soon. We won’t need guards at this rate.” He teased with a bemused expression and I found my mouth dropping open in surprise.

“See, this is why I keep you around! You get my dorky references.” I crooned with an overly enthusiastic tone and he rolled his eyes in disappointment. He glanced over my shoulder for a split second and his smile faded as he focused on something. I peeked in the direction that he was staring and easily calculated that it was Knox’s awkwardly waiting form that he was watching. Bellamy returned his attention to me and the playful glitter had faded from his eyes as he tried to force a casual tone.

“So, that’s Knox, huh?” He enquired and although he strained to mask the tension in his voice, it was still crystal clear to me. I had to wonder if he had been investigating in camp to acquire a description of him, or whether he simply assumed since Knox was the only unfamiliar face that I had spoken to.

“Yes, that’s Knox.” I stated matter of factly and determinedly declined to add any further comment. If he wanted to know something in particular, he was going to have to ask.

“He seemed interested in you. What did he want?” Bellamy quizzed as the tension between the two of us only grew with every word and I cocked a brow at him in confusion.

“He didn’t want anything, we just chatted. He’s not used to seeing me relax so I think he was confused.” I explained with an amused tone to clarify that this was an insignificant conversation but this only seemed to rile Bellamy further. I witnessed his gaze drift back over my shoulder and when he next viewed me, he shuffled on the spot with a certain stressed energy about him.

“I don’t like him chatting to you. He’s practically hanging off you, it’s weird.” He stated firmly and I felt my brows shoot up in surprise. Knox had been consistently friendly since the moment we met and I could tell that he simply looked up to the entire group that had survived here before they arrived. I suspected he probably admired Bellamy as a leader more than the others, if he would only take the time to notice.

“What are you even talking about?” I breathed as I viewed him with disbelief and I caught his stern face as he returned his gaze to Knox. The intensity of his stare would make even the toughest of our camp members bolt and I could see poor Knox squirming out of the corner of my eye. “Stop glaring at him.” I hissed but his scowl remained focused as if I hadn’t even spoken.

“I’m not.” He stated in a distracted tone without even attempting to cover his blatant ignorance and I crossed my arms in annoyance.

“Bellamy!” I growled and the sharpness of my tone finally seemed to pull him from his intimidation mission. I gave him an unimpressed gesture and he shifted awkwardly as he met my eyes. I scanned between him and Knox, and my mind finally pieced together the information that I was presented. I could hardly believe what I was about to ask, but I couldn’t theorise any other logical explanation for his bizarre behaviour. “Are you jealous?” I interrogated and his eyes widened at my accusation.

“What?” He breathed and I held my expectant gaze as I awaited an answer. “No!” He spat defensively and fidgeted nervously on the spot in an effort to conceal his aggravation. I felt a lurch in my gut at his reaction and kicked myself for not realising what I was dealing with sooner. Bellamy always seemed so full of confidence that I had never imagined he would be jealous. A memory stirred in the back of my mind of his reaction when I tended to Murphy in the dropship after his torture and I realised that it was absolutely a weakness of his. “What do I have to be jealous of? He’s just a kid.” He scoffed and I struggled to contain a laugh, until I caught him sneaking a brief glare at Knox again.

“Exactly, he’s just a kid. So why are you giving him the death stare?” I investigated and he turned back to me as if he hadn’t done anything. I couldn’t think how I was going to deal with this situation if he wouldn’t even admit to his part in it and I pitied Knox for drawing the ire of someone so intimidating for no good reason. I thought Bellamy understood how impossible it was for anyone to lure me away from him and considered voicing these reassurances, but I was still too nervous to put my feelings into words in case it scared him off.

“I just don’t trust him, he wasn’t part of our camp.” He excused and I rolled my eyes at his blatant omission of the truth. I knew that the fact that Knox wasn’t here before was likely the foundation of the issue, but I suspected that it was specifically because he hadn’t witnessed the development of the bond between Bellamy and I. Everyone from our old camp knew that I was off limits, without him having to label us as anything. I calculated that Bellamy was uncomfortable with the fact that I hadn’t been marked as unavailable to this particular male. Whilst lost in thought, I didn’t notice Bellamy stepping closer until he carefully brushed my hair behind my ear with a flirtatious expression.

“Did I mention that you look pretty today?” He drawled and I couldn’t contain a snort of laughter at his new tactic.

“Don’t change the topic.” I warned with a blatant lilt of amusement. He brought his hands to rest on my hips as he closed into my space and bit his lip in a way that he knew drove me wild. I willed myself not to be distracted by his sly methods and held my ground for as long as I could.

“I’m not. I just can’t help being distracted by you.” He crooned as he leaned in to place a lingering kiss on my cheek and I fixed him with a suspicious look when he met my eyes again.

“I know what you’re doing Bel.” I groaned as I caught him glancing over to check that Knox was watching and I sighed in exasperation at his ridiculous, testosterone fuelled competition.

“Ditch work. I have a couple hours free.” He whispered, before busying himself with trailing kisses from my cheek down my neck and I struggled to concentrate despite my best efforts as he pulled me flush to him. I glanced over at Knox who was awkwardly trying to figure out what to do with himself as he tried to act as if he hadn’t seen anything and knew that Bellamy had already accomplished his goal. At this point, convincing me into bed was just an additional prize and he was doing frustratingly well at earning it. He straightened up to meet my eyes with a keen smile and although I battled to retain my stern expression, I could feel that it didn’t reach my eyes.

“I thought you didn’t like rules, Love.” He teased as he gradually tilted his head to press his lips to mine and I felt my eyes involuntarily drift closed. It was impossible to reason with him when he resorted to these kinds of tactics and underneath the swirling attraction of my body, I was fuming with myself for giving in to him. I felt myself resting on his chest and as he wound his fingers into my hair, I knew that I had already lost the battle. As we parted for air, I glazed up at him with an arousal obvious in my eyes and he smiled smugly in return.

“You’re a terrible influence.” I stated in a breathy voice as he led me inside the Ark in a victorious strut.

***

The following day Bellamy was gone before I woke again. I couldn’t deny the feeling that he was avoiding discussing his behaviour and my mind obsessed over my recent actions constantly for any error on my part. As a result of my lack of focus, Octavia hammered me with attacks during our session and she eventually ended it early out of frustration. I found myself wandering camp aimlessly as I was completely lost in thought and felt too awkward at the idea of seeing Knox to volunteer for a shift in mechanical.

Instead, I sought out a quiet spot on camp to reflect where I hoped that I wouldn’t be easily found. Despite all of my internal analysis, I couldn't think of any interactions between Knox and I that could be interpreted as inappropriate and was therefore stuck at the same dead end as before on what I could do to fix this issue with Bellamy. There was a set of footsteps that I was vaguely aware of in my vicinity but I paid it little attention until they approached me and someone cleared their throat as they dropped into a seat opposite.

“You look like you have a lot on your mind.” I glanced up to find Harper examining me with a fond expression and was immediately relieved.

“Pretty sure that’s just my default expression. I honestly can’t remember a time where I didn’t have much to think about.” I stated with an amused smile and she shrugged in response. “Sorry I haven’t checked in with you since we got back. How are you managing?” I enquired with a genuine interest as I leaned forward to examine her. Although our conversations had been limited, Harper had always been kind to me, especially in our time in captivity and it left an enduring fondness for her.

“It’s okay, we’ve all had a lot on our plates, especially with reunions.” She sighed before fixing me with a knowing look that wasn’t filled with mischief or teasing like Octavia or Raven, but simply appreciation for my happiness. “It’s an adjustment, being outside again and with our own people. It’s different to before and there’s something bizarre about living back inside the Ark of all things. I think it’ll take some time to get used to for all of us.” She explained thoughtfully and I hummed in agreement. It was a comfort to discover that I wasn’t the only person here who found this transition challenging and I found that she quickly minimised the anxiety that I was feeling with just her calm company. “I’m glad to have other people around who understand what we went through in there, it makes it easier to deal with the after effects and nightmares.” She muttered as my brows furrowed in concern.

“You’re having them too, huh?” I revealed and her face contorted into a mixture of pity and relief. “Everything heals with time, right?” I added with a supportive smile. “If you ever need to talk about it, I’ve always got time for you Harp. You were there for me at my worst, I want you to know that I’m grateful and I won’t ever forget it.” I divulged as I fidgeted awkwardly on the spot and she smiled thankfully. It was difficult for me to discuss my feelings with new people and although I felt it was important to say, I still felt uncomfortable.

“Thanks. I know I’ll get there eventually, it’s just a process. Monty had been a godsend.” She commented idly and I felt the corners of my lips twitch up toward a smile as she peaked my interest.

“Monty, huh?” I repeated with a forced casual tone and as she avoided meeting my eyes, she cleared her throat uncomfortably. “Yeah, he’s a great guy, easily the most dependable person I’ve met. He’s also kind and wise, and probably the best person you could lean on for support right now. He’ll steer you right, he always has me.” I detailed honestly and when she next met my eyes, I could tell that she already knew all of these things.

“You know, if I didn’t already know about you and Bellamy, I’d think you had a thing for Monty.” She remarked in a way that tried to sound careless, but I knew these kinds of false offhand comments too well to be fooled. I’d used this method many times before when denying my feelings for Bellamy and I was inwardly thrilled to find her speaking of Monty in such a way. I scoffed at her words as genuine laughter escaped me at this idea.

“Monty is like my little brother, Harp. Jasper too. I absolutely treasure them, but from day one there has never been a question of anything else between us.” I informed her with an overwhelming delight and it was obvious that she was pleased to hear this. “And if it weren’t for Monty’s tendency to gossip like a teenage girl, you wouldn’t know about my lovelife either.” I added with a quirked brow and she snorted in disbelief.

“Right, cause that’s a total secret.” She drawled and I shook my head at her with entertainment. I didn’t mind Harper’s comments as I knew that they were harmless and tried not to allow her words to take root in my mind. “So, Monty’s not involved with you?” She specified and I knew immediately from my own experiences exactly what she truly meant to ask.

“Monty’s not involved with anyone and yes, I’m sure because that boy can’t keep a secret to save his life.” I chuckled and she quickly relaxed at my confirmation. “And as far as I’m aware, if you were to express an interest, it would be well received.” I crooned with a playful wink and her cheeks rapidly flushed.

“I didn’t - I wasn’t - I mean-” She rapidly stuttered as she waved her hands in panic and I smiled smugly at her. I considered taunting the admission from her as my other girlfriends had so often done to me, but as I was in her shoes not so long ago, I decided to cut her some slack.

“Hmm, of course.” I commented finally as I decided not to pursue the topic any further. The seed had been sewn in her mind, now I just had to be patient and allow it to grow. She cleared her throat and seemed to be struggling to think of something else to discuss. My unique understanding of her situation would not allow me to leave her to flounder any longer and so I offered a new line of conversation for her to escape through. “How are you finding guard duty? I didn’t expect you to be so quick to throw yourself back into the fire.” I enquired with genuine interest and she shrugged casually.

“Why not? I was trained in the original group at our old camp; it felt like a waste to not use those skills again.” She explained and I nodded in understanding. I had already forgotten that she was originally part of Bellamy’s militia and found myself hoping that her new post would help to rebuild her confidence following the especially exaggerated trauma that she had from her experiences in Mount Weather. “It’s going well, obviously the first patrol didn’t exactly go to plan, but since when does anything on Earth.” She commented and I sniggered at her point. I couldn’t think of a single plan that had gone ahead without issue since we arrived. “It’s nice to have a purpose, I think that’s why most of us joined. There’s a few people who weren’t at the original camp who are there for not so great reasons, but maybe the experience will help to toughen them up.” She stated with a maturity that demonstrated the hardships she had survived and I tilted my head at her quizzically.

“How do you mean?” I questioned and she shuffled awkwardly as if she had said something that she didn’t mean to.

“Well, prime example. There’s this girl called Mel, she’s the sole survivor from factory station. She volunteered for a guard post and she’s done the training, but it just feels totally hollow. I’m pretty sure she only joined because Bellamy is teaching and she seems more like she’s checking him out than actually paying attention to what he’s saying. She was gushing to some of the others about how he saved her from a cliffside when we were in Mount Weather and how she thinks he’s so selfless and dedicated. I’m just getting sick of watching her flirt with him when she should be concentrating on staying alive. Then there’s Ray, who’s only focus is on killing anything that threatens us because she’s terrified and Max who’s just there to show off.” She ranted in a way that I’d never seen her speak before and it was clear that she needed to get these thoughts off her mind. I listened quietly and tried not to be aggravated by her description of this girl’s behaviour around Bellamy.

“I don’t know, I don’t want to sound jaded but it’s just kinda frustrating having them there. I know it’s not their fault but they’re so unaware. It feels like they’re at the point we were when we first landed and we already went through those growing pains to become smarter. We constantly have to watch out for them so they don’t get themselves killed and I just don’t have the patience to babysit a bunch of kids who aren’t taking this seriously. Does that make me a bad person?” She slowed as she came to this question and met my eyes with a regretful vulnerability.

“No, it just makes you human.” I breathed with an understanding smile. “It’s okay to feel frustrated, like you said, we already did this. We just have to try to be patient with them and give them a chance to grow. Hopefully they won’t have it as hard as we did.” I advised as I thought back to Knox’s conversation about the change in Monty and Jasper. It was only natural for our two groups to be at odds at the moment, we were vastly different and our life experiences had shaped us to be cold and distrusting. I hoped that with time we might be able to learn from each other and meet somewhere in the middle. As I reflected on this, Harper sighed in relief as if a weight had been lifted from her and observed me closely.

“You don’t have to worry about Mel, I’m honestly sorry that I even brought her up.” She stated sheepishly and my eyes shot up to meet hers in surprise. “When Bellamy was out on that patrol, it was obvious that all he could think about was getting safely back to you.” She revealed and I found myself smiling despite my best efforts to conceal my emotions. “I’m glad to see you together, you balance each other out well, you know. He has brought back the personality in you and you bring out the best in him.” She added thoughtfully and I chuckled lightly at her analysis. “You’re a cute couple.” She teased with a wink and I rolled my eyes at her.

“We’re not a couple. And Bellamy can flirt with whoever he wants.” I stated adamantly as I crossed my arms and she stared back at me with disbelief.

“Whatever you say.” She crooned and I knew that she was exacting vengeance for my earlier taunting. “Well, I’ll keep you updated on the Mel situation, just in case you decide you care.” She winked and I rolled my eyes at her.

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brokenhardies · 4 years ago

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descendants oc masterlist

Name: Finley Fitzherbert

Title: Golden

Disney Parents: Rapunzel and Eugene Fitzherbert

Face Claim: Madison Iseman

Relationship Tags: at last ive seen the light (its like the sky is new) - Finley x Evie

Summary: TBA

Name: Hadley Hearts

Title: Jar of Hearts

Disney Parents: The Queen of Hearts

Face Claim: Madison Davenport

Relationship Tags: you drew stars around my scars (now im bleeding) - Hadley x Mal

Summary: At the start of Descendants 2, Ben breaks up with Mal. Mainly due to the fact he felt he was going too fast, and now he has to focus on kingly things. Mal is disappointed but not surprised, another great thing being a villain gave her that switching sides took. Now she’s been made a martyr by the Auradon press, the villain kid who couldn’t.

The rest of the VKs are going just fine - Jay has his duelling team, Carlos has Jane and his dogs, Evie has her science, but Mal has nothing. It was a no-brainer she would go back the Isle, ESPECIALLY after Ben was taken by a group of old friends of hers.

Hadley Hearts is the daughter of the Queen of Hearts and a member of Uma’s crew. Feeling under pressure to succeed by her mother, she helps kidnap the young King Ben, unaware that she’s going to be followed by an old friend. Mal is back on the Isle, and ready to save her ex-boyfriend who she’s kind of still not over… But maybe she will get over him, with Hadley’s help.

(gif by @firetfly)

Name: Keziah

Title: Queen of the World

Disney Parents: Emperor Kuzco and Melina

Face Claim: Jenna Ortega

Relationship Tags: easy to say (but it’s never the same) - Keziah x Audrey

Summary: As the daughter of Emperor Kuzco and Empress Melina, Keziah always found herself the centre of attention. Not that she hated it or anything, in fact she loved the spotlight more than life itself. She was the founding member of the Auradon High drama club after all, and even though the kids from the Isle were still considered ‘dangerous’ after that whole Fairy Godmother wand stunt, or the whole kidnapping Prince Ben thing, she was excited to get new members.

Although one thing Keziah doesn’t expect as a consequence of all this Isle drama is for her good friend Audrey to have a breakdown when King Ben proposes to Mal - daughter of Maleficent. Nor does she expect her joke about stealing Maleficent’s staff and ruling Auradon herself to be taken seriously by her distraught friend. Keziah’s father was barely the hero in his story, how’s she supposed to save Audrey?

(gif by @oliviaholt)

Name: Ruby Hood

Title: Outlaw

Disney Parents: Robin Hood and Maid Marian

Face Claim: Luca Hollestelle

Relationship Tags: heard your name (gotta get with you) - Ruby x Evie

Summary: Ruby Hood was born and raised a fey. The daughter of one of the most famous folktales ever with his heroics and charm, and her equally famous mother, for her wit and willpower. Even though magic had been shut down in Auradon for several years now and she couldn’t use her fey magic to its full potential, she was content.

Or at least, she thought she was. And then a certain daughter of the Wicked Queen showed up in Auradon and suddenly, Ruby’s perfect life is turned on its head…

(gif by @moonshne)

Name: Thorn

Title: Every Rose

Disney Parents: The Horned King

Face Claim: Liv Hewson

Relationship Tags: i like that youre lonely (lonely like me) - Thorn x Uma x Harry, every single step (breaks every single breath) - Thorn x Audrey

Summary: TBA

#Mobile Masterlist #Masterlist #OC: Finley #ship: at last ive seen the light (its like the sky is new)#OC: Hadley #ship: you drew stars around my scars (now im bleeding)#OC: Keziah #ship: easy to say (but its never the same)#OC: Ruby #ship: heard your name (gotta get with you)#OC: Thorn #ship: i like that youre lonely (lonely like me)#ship: every single step (breaks every single breath)

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beesonestopcurioshop · 5 years ago

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By the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes.

Chapter 3: Walk with the Devil

Gif Credit: @deeptheon

Also I wanted to give a shoutout to my girls @boogiewrites�� for helping me with a concept toward the end of this chapter and @deanscroissant for reading it for me from the perspective of someone who doesn’t watch the show! Also thanks going out to @justanothershelby for connecting a dot I didn’t even see!

Warnings: Violence, implied animal death (I mean we’ve all seen that episode.) (I think that’s it? If there’s something I missed please feel free to tell me so I can put it in here!)

••

There was rain thundering on the roof of the barn. Sometimes it would slow down and be almost calming. Other times it would pound down with fury from the heavens above where the cacophony of it made it almost crescendo into a panic. Curly walked through the barn quietly mumbling to himself his list of things that needed to be done before Charlie and he headed home. The next task was checking in the horses one more time. There weren’t many, so it wouldn’t take Curly long. He did this every day so he had it down to a science.

As he walked along giving each horse a once over and checking water buckets, he started to feel uneasy. He only had two horses left, Miss Ellie’s and the new racehorse and then he could be on his way. It could be noise from the rain. It made it difficult to hear. Curly gave Stevie a soft pat on the nose as he looked him over. The horse snorted and pawed at the ground in return. Curly frowned because Stevie wasn’t restless, especially after Miss Ellie had visited him. “I’ll be right back, boy.” He gave Stevie’s chest a gentle pat and moved on to the newest addition to the barn.

Curly walked around the dividing wall and began his checking. A strangled cry left his lips when he saw the horse’s hoof tied up. It wasn’t painful for the horse, but it was definitely bound. Bound in such a way he was sure there was a curse involved. He had to go get Charlie and Tommy.

••

Rain. It was thundering on the tin roof. The sound was almost offensive. Especially to Eleanor’s head. The effort she had to exert to sit up was more trouble than it was worth. Her body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. As soon as her head was level, the pain from being cracked in the face weighed down and involuntarily had a moan passing through her lips. She could feel the spot she had been hit. It was right below her left eye. She cringed as her fingers gently brushed the skin. If her eye wasn’t already black, she would be shocked.

She took in her surroundings. She was in a warehouse, so she wasn’t far outside of Small Heath. By the sounds of it, she was still fairly close to the industrial stacks. A quiet voice caught her attention and brought her back to the reality that she wasn’t alone.

“Give her a minute, boys. You rang her bell quite hard.” Eleanor knew that voice. It belonged to none other than Zilpha Lee. Queen matriarch of the Lee family. “We’re not far from the city, don’t fret.”

“I would greet you proper, ma’am, however, I’m feeling a bit thrown.” Ellie groaned quietly.

“You have Joseph to thank for that. The other two are Percy and Isaac. Gents say ‘ello. I don’t expect you to move yet,” Zilpha paused to contemplate the young woman on the ground in front of her, “Eleanor, correct?”

Ellie wasn’t surprised that Zilpha knew her name. Zilpha knew everyone around her people. Working with Johnny every once and a while had her known by association. She nodded just enough to know she was responding but not enough to jostle her head.

Ellie was having a hard time deciding what was going on in the older woman’s mind. Standing slowly, she gave a glimpse at the boys that were there with Zilpha. Joseph had the realization to at least look somewhat sorry. Eleanor sighed and let her shoulders drop. She felt like she was prey being stalked, and she didn’t like it. Isaac and Percy were pacing around her, almost expecting her to run.

She clenched her jaw as she huffed out of her nose, “Ma’am, if you don’t mind the trouble of me asking, why am I here and not where I wanted to be?”

“And where was that, my dear?” Zilpha placed her elbow on her makeshift chair and her dainty hand underneath her chin. She tilted her head to the side. She was curious as to what kind of answer Eleanor had for her.

“Home. Dry. Without a poundin’ ‘ead and face.” Ellie turned around slowly to face her hostess. Their eyes locked and a crackle of unpredictability sizzled through the air. Zilpha was feeling her out. Neither woman had officially been face to face with the other before.

The matriarch smirked at her. The small action made Ellie’s skin crawl. “Are you sure you weren’t heading to find Tommy Shelby? To tell him what my boys were up to?” Ellie’s hackles raised at her assumption.

••

“Charlie! Charlie! Come quick!” Charlie heard the slapping of Curly’s feet on the wet ground as he ran in a panic looking for him. He tossed his cigarette and met him halfway.

“What is it Curly?”

“Tommy’s horse, Charlie. Curse, I tell you! Curse!”

Charlie was moving before Curly had finished. He had been worried something like this would happen after the outburst at the fair. He rushed into the barn and over to the racehorse and sure enough, there was a burlap sack wrapped around the hoof and bound with a rope. This horse would never race.

“Curly, go get Tommy.”

••

Zilpha’s eyebrow quirked at the small show of attitude. “Ma’am, forgive me, but that name has cursed me since the fair, and it’s the second time someone asked me about my involvement with him. Which there isn’t much.”

“If there wasn’t much, no one would be asking you.”

“I’ve talked to him for maybe five minutes. Pleasantries if anythin’ else. I had just gotten back. The town was in shambles. Angry whispers about the Peaky Blinders swarmed through the town. I was taking care of me horse.”

“Watch that tone of yours, girl. You forget who I am.”

“I was just on my way to work after gettin’ home from the fair. I board me ‘orse at his uncle’s yard. I saw him there this mornin’, but again his uncle owns the yard, so I fail to see how that’s out of the ordinary. He was there talking to Mister Charlie. I took care of me ‘orse, was pleasant to Mr. Shelby on my way out and went to my place of employment.” Ellie was getting tired of having to explain herself to people who weren’t going to believe her. Queen of the Lee clan or not.

“Don’t lie to me and yourself in the same sentence, Eleanor. I know your intuition is better than that. At the very least, your common sense.”

“I went to work. One of the regulars was apparently at the fair. And saw what they thought was me conspirin’ with the Blinders when I was saying goodbye to Johnny. I got let go because of assumptions. I was upset and came here to be with my horse. I wanted to go home, but not run into Mister Charlie, so I went out the back of my horse’s stall. I went to leave and one of your boys took a nice crack at my skull.”

Percy had been the one leading the other boys. He wanted to throw her into the cut, “You was on your way to tell one of those Blinder bastards what we was up to.”

“Where’s your proof?”

Isaac just had to join in, “You snuck out the back. Someone who sneaks doesn’t have good intentions.”

“So in truth now… what is your involvement with the Shelby boy?”

••

The rain was deafening as Curly ran to 6 Watery Lane. His frantic pace was all he could think about keeping up. Tommy had to know. The door to the flat came into his view and he pounded on it. Hopefully, someone would wake up. He looked around in panic calling out to Thomas until his bedroom light came on.

When he saw Tommy’s head peek out through the curtains he shouted up, “Hurry Tom! Come quick! It’s the horse!” Thomas wasted no time. He put his cap on, grabbed a jacket, and was sprinting out into the rain to follow Curly back to the barn.

When Thomas sees Charlie’s face, he knows it’s not good. The Lees must have retaliated. Tommy takes a few steps toward the horse and rubs its muzzle. He sees the rope, he sees the burlap. Curly kisses the horse’s nose.

“Curly, tell me.”

“It’s a curse, Tom,” Curly started pacing, distraught. Tom comes over to him and grabs his face trying to get him to focus.

“Curly, Curly… shh shh shh. Okay, tell me. Tell me, Curly, what’s wrong with the horse?”

“You bought at the fair in bad feeling. The Lees put a bad seed in the hoof. Got an old woman to put a spell! Got Miss Ellie to help. Saw her sneaking out.” Curly shushes himself.

“So those Lee bastards cursed him.” Thomas refused to acknowledge the second half of what Curly mentioned. The horse was more important at the moment. He would have a chat with Eleanor later.

Charlie nodded solemnly, “Whatever it is, he says it spread to the other feet.”

“It’s going to his heart by tomorrow, I’d say. Seen curses like this twice. Can’t take them back, Tom! No!”

“I told ya, Tommy. Better enemies to have than black blood Gypsies and their ravens.” Charlie grabbed Curly and left Thomas to his own devices.

••

Ellie sighed in defeat. “Complete disclosure,” Zilpha nods at the question, “Nothing. I’ve seen him around. I have never gone out of my way to contact him. Giving Mister Charlie payment is about as much contact that I have with him and his family, and Mister Charlie doesn’t talk much anyhow. I keep to myself. I don’t bother anybody. I take care of my ‘orse and dat’s dat.”

“What about when you were sayin’ goodbye. You and Thomas were makin’ eyes at each other like there’s a secret only you two know?”

If Ellie had something to drink she would have spat it across the wide room. “Whoa. Hold on. Makin’ eyes? I don’t know who you had keepin’ an eye on them, but they must have been tanked. I wasn’t makin’ eyes at anyone. I was sayin’ I was leaving back to town.”

“So you agree it was a meeting then?”

“A meeting to say goodbye to my friend, and then I was on me way. No one said I was there for long, or saw me leave with anyone other than myself or me ‘orse, did they?” If she kept this attitude up she probably wouldn’t be let go.

“Boys, we’re done here. You can see her out now.” Ellie’s eyes widened. That could have meant any number of things. As she saw Joseph getting closer to her, she tried to back away.

“No!” She backed into the other two Lee men.

Joseph walked forward, “I’m sorry.” As he grabbed her arms and tied her wrists together, Percy and Isaac came up with a gag and a hood. She felt some hairs pull from her scalp, and she most certainly caught her lip in between her teeth and gag.

Her world went topsy turvy as she was picked up and thrown over a shoulder. She tried to struggle, but with only her legs being somewhat free and out in front of the offenders, she could only do so much.

••

The sound of water graced her ears. It was not only from the rain but also moving water from the cut. Fuck. Her chest was heaving. She felt herself being flung from being over a shoulder to the ground. A small muffled ‘oof,’ left her as her bottom connected unceremoniously with the muddy riverside. Ellie tried her hardest to keep her head up so it didn’t garner any more damage. Not that it mattered at this point. She had somehow gone and gotten herself mixed up in a load of trouble and it was coming back to bite her.

She tilted her head while pulling the gag loose. ‘Don’t give them the reaction they want.’ Ellie was listening to the boys shuffling around trying to get things in order.

“So is this it then?” She asked with a calm and almost silent voice. The three boys looked between themselves. Isaac and Joseph seemed to be somber. Ellie faced what she thought was forward as she removed the hood. Percy tried to stop her and she shoved his hands away. Her chest was still visibly moving, but she had accepted it. If it was her time, then so be it.

The woods weren’t far from here. They were near Charlie’s Yard which bordered the forest. She could hear the human-like alarm bark of a fox and the perturbed croaking of ravens. There was a late fog rolling in. A smile graced her lips. It was the magical part of the night. Ellie looked to the moon. She was bright and full. All of their actions on display.

“Is this your first time, boys?”

Her tongue touched the part of her lip that she had caught between her teeth and the gag. She looked up at Percy. He seemed to be the most aggressive and aggravated. He was huffing and puffing up a storm.

“Shut the fuck up!” He rushed forward and gripped the back of her neck, “we’ll decide what happens to you.”

Her shoulders bunched up at the pressure of the hold on her neck, “I’m sure you will, but if you’re going for strangling? You ‘ave the wrong side. Make it count. The moon will see it though.”

“Percy! Zilpha wanted her alive.”

“I don’t know why Isaac. She’s a loose end. We should just do Zilpha a favor.” Percy gripped the handle of his gun and dug the barrel against her scalp.

“Don’t miss, Percy.” Ellie smiled at the chaos, at Isaac and Joseph’s face. A gunshot sounded in close to them making Percy jump.

Joseph stepped forward and yanked the gun from Percy. “Dat’s a bad omen, Perc. We need to go.” Isaac snatched Percy’s collar to drag him off before he stepped more out of line.

Ellie and Joseph made eye contact with a small nod of thanks from her. He leaned down with his knife to cut the ropes on her wrists, but she waved him off.

“You gents didn’t check me boots.” Producing a small dagger from her right boot she threaded it between the ropes and her wrists and worked it back and forth to cut them.

“You’re full of surprises aren’t ya?”

Ellie smiled at the question, “I s’pose so. Get on with ya. I’ll be fine from here.”

••

Thomas was numb inside as he walked away from Charlie’s Yard. He wrapped his jacket closer around his torso. It wasn’t only the external cold he was trying to chase away. It was the internal cold that had been caused by the war and came back in intervals that he couldn’t quite predict.

He turned to head toward the Garrison when movement just past Charlie’s caught his eye coming from the bottom of the cut. It was Eleanor. His visit with Grace would have to wait.

“Eleanor. Just the woman I was looking for.” Her head snapped up like a startled bird.

“Me? Why am I suddenly so popular in your life?”

“I’m not sure why you’re front and center, but this is where we’ve been lead.” Thomas looked around to assess their surroundings. They were alone and it was a fairly dead-end of the city. Not many people to eavesdrop.

“Did you help the Lees curse my horse?”

“No,” Ellie said with a lot more confidence than someone in her position should.

“No? Why does Curly seem to think otherwise?” He kept his face impassive. He stayed quiet for a moment. It was a good way to make people squirm.

“What did he tell you? Oh wait, let me guess. I was sneakin’ out. That’s what the Lees thought too. That’s who just let me go.”

Ellie was beyond vexed that she would have to be explaining herself for what would probably be the fourth time that day. Why wouldn’t anyone believe her? She led a quiet life, she lived by simple means. Maybe that was why. She looked just like the kind of person that would be involved but be able to pass it off that she wasn’t. Those are typically the ones that caused the most trouble.

“They had you?” He finally looked at her face. Her left eye was starting to blacken.

“Cracked me good too on my way out to come find you. Dat’s why I was sneakin’ out Mr. Shelby.”

“On your way to find me. When?”

“This mornin’ when Curly saw me sneakin’ out the back. However, the Lee boys had other plans for me. I know you don’t know me from Adam, but I don’t have any reason to lie to you. Ask Johnny.”

“We’ll see about that. Come.” Thomas put his hand in the crook of her elbow so he could direct her along.

••

Note: Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed chapter 3! Did you all expect Zilpha? I wonder why she wants to keep Ellie alive? What are you liking? I wanna hear from you!

Taglist: @hazelnmae @boogiewrites

Anyone that wants added, just let me know!!

#BythePrickingofMyThumb #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders writing #thomas shelby #cillian murphy #thomas shelby x oc #thomas shelby fanfiction #thomas shelby fanfic

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wicked-source · 8 months ago

Text

Elizabeth Hawke in Secrecy [1x02]

#wicked science #elizabeth hawke #packedtotheaussies #nostalgiatvdaily #my gifs: wicked science #my gifs: Elizabeth hawke

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automaticvr · 5 years ago

Video

vimeo

Cyberpunk is a genre of literature that is set in the near dystopian future that contemplates technological advancements and how they affect society. Cyberpunk’s vision has evolved with the media landscape and is still prevalent as a sub-genre throughout these digital environments. This video essay aims to explore these neon-drenched melancholic spaces within. Throughout my video essay I include film/tv clips, video game sequences, GIFs, ambient score and quotes from Cyberpunk literature to conceptualize these digital spaces. Cyberpunk’s contemporary vivid audiovisual aesthetics form an alluring, ethereal space to contemplate virtual identity. The remediation of these digital spaces form an assemblage of digital identity through the influence of technology, the movement and constant state of flux of these environments are interconnected within the terminal identity of the embodiment of the user. Bio: Jordon J. Jacobson is an M.A. candidate in Cinema Studies at San Francisco State University. He earned a B.A. in History while studying at Washington State University. His areas of research include affect theory, cinematic mood, aesthetic analysis of postmodern noir, genre cinema, media history, digital aesthetics, cinematic memory, and game studies. References: Bolter, Jay David. and Richard Grusin. Remediation: Understanding New Media. Cambridge: The MIT Press, 2000. Nakamura, Lisa. Digitizing Race: Visual Cultures of the Internet. Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 2008. Bucher, Taina. and Anne Helmond. “The Affordances of Social Media Platforms.” In The SAGE Handbook of Social Media, edited by Jean Burgess, Thomas Poell, and Alice Marwick, 233-253. London and New York: SAGE Publications, 2018. "When the Machines Stop: Fantasy, Reality, and Terminal Identity in "Neon Genesis Evangelion" and "Serial Experiments Lain" " -Susan J. Napier “WICKED CITIES Cyberculture and the reimagining of identity in the ‘non-Western’ metropolis” - Gregory B Lee and Sunny S K Lam References: Abbott, Carl. "Cyberpunk Cities: Science Fiction Meets Urban Theory. Journal of Planning Education and Research 27, no. 2 (2007): 122-31. Anno, Hideaki. Neon Genesis Evangelion. Collection 0:4 Collection 0:4. 2000. Tokyo, Japan: Gainax and Netflix. Streaming. Gibson, William. Neuromancer. New York: Ace Science Fiction Books, 1984. Leary, David and Jim Walls. Blade Runner. Computer Software. Las Vegas, NV. Westwood Studios. 1997. Marker, Chris, dir. Sans Soleil. 1983. Paris, France: Argos Films, and Criterion Collection. DVD. Oshii, Mamoru. Ghost in the Shell. 1995. Tokyo, Japan: Shochiku. and Production I.G. DVD. Paco, Jordi de. The Red Strings Club. Computer Software. Valencia, Spain. Devolver Digital. 2018. Pynchon, Thomas. Bleeding Edge. New York: Penguin Press, 2013. Soundtrack: 輕描淡寫, “我昨晚梦见你了,” 2018, track 1 on 小圈子, Bludhoney. Streaming. Diamondstein & Sangam, “I Wish I Had More To Offer” 2017, track 1 on Lullabies For Broken Spirits, Doom Trip Records. Streaming. Helen, “Night City,” 2017, track 4 on 聖域, Self-Publish. Streaming. Sangam x Origami Girl, “Empty Inside,” 2018, track 7 on Empty Inside, Collapsed Structures. Streaming.

#Vimeo

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austarus · 5 years ago

Text

HR Wells x Witch!Reader AU Exclusively Magical

**A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me. It belongs to its rightful owner(s).

“Magic is a sophisticated craft; you can’t just say ‘pizza-us apparatus’!” You heatedly scold your boyfriend and snatch the wand out of his hand, which he’d been fiddling with your magical item. “We’re not in a Harry Potter movie.”

You were out in the city’s nearest woods to scavenge for some herbs and other potent plants for your potion-making. No, you weren’t some wicked witch that intends to poison their mortal enemies from fairy tales, nor were you interested in ruling over society by establishing superiority by use of magic. You were more on the docile side of things. Actively seeking out possible remedies and cures to illnesses that modern medicine couldn’t exactly provide to those who couldn’t gather enough money. Yet everything created comes with a price. A concept too common within magic and alchemy, both schools that you dabble in. Instead, you allow the costumers to form a different method of pay because circumstances differ from person to person, which is understandable. Honestly, I leave for a few hours and this dork thinks it’s a free-for-all.

“But wouldn’t that make things so much easier? Magic’s supposed to make life convenient, or so it’s been done in the books I’ve read and written. Right, Kitten?” The fedora-wearing man pouted adorably at you with a gentle shrug, a goofy grin gradually gracing his features when your demeanor relaxed a bit.

No, don’t give me that cute and sheepish look. You know how hard I crumble for that.

Said man, adjusted his hat as you took off your raincoat and hung it up on the coat rake. “Puppy, if you wanted pizza you could have just ordered some. We don’t live in the Stone Age and we have an abundant amount of money thanks to your books and my herbal remedies. Or you could have asked Barry to speed some over to you- Actually, never mind, he and Cisco are busy with something that I don’t know about because-”

“-It’s too much science, and it goes way over your head-”

“-It’s too much science, and it goes way over my head.” You frown in confusion when you turned around to face HR as he finished your statement before readjusting the satchel on your shoulder, your hand gripping the strap. A deep chuckle escapes HR’s mouth before his arms encased your body in a gentle, warm hug. The coolness of the outside world escaping your skin.

“Have I said that before?”

“A few times, yes. Which prompts me into kissing you and saying that you have magic, which is cooler than science.” Cue the novelist kissing your rosy cheek with a loving kiss.

“… I’m not letting the pizza thing go.” You slip out of his arms moving away from where he stood to sort your newest collection of plants in your personal cupboard. You side-glanced at him, spotting that little pout on his features.

“But Kitten, that would require effort.”

“So does our bedroom activities,” you blurt out with pinkish cheeks, quickly turning around and giving him a wide-armed shrug, a smug grin on your face., “But if you’re too lazy to order pizza, then you must be too lazy for that. I guess we’ll actually be sleeping at night from now on.”

HR lets out a little gasp as you insinuated your cheeky threat, a look of horror on his face and a hand over his heart. Checkmate, you dramatic Wells. You cross your arms and raise your eyebrows in amusement, watching him pull out his phone and grudgingly call for some pizza. Turning your body back around as he ended the call, you were unaware of two long and strong limbs creeping closer. In one fluid motion and with a yelp falling from your lips, you were scooped up and thrown over HR’s broad shoulder.

“You didn’t think you were going to make that kind of threat and get away with it, were you?” You can hear that damned smirk lacing itself onto his lips.

“But the pizza-“

“No, buts. Except for this rather nice one,” he gives your ass a few firm pats, before rubbing it and shuffling up to your shared bedroom with hasty feet. “No-one ever said that our magical bedroom activities were only exclusive to night time, and we can always occupy ourselves until the pizza comes, right?”

You stayed silent, your heart a beating mess. HR laughed to himself and quirked an eyebrow at your silence. Your brain trying to catch up on how he managed to turn the table around on you. How the hell does he manage to keep doing this to you? You will never ever know.

#harrison wells x reader #harrison wells #hr wells x reader #hr wells #hr wells imagine #harrison wells imagine #The Flash #harrison wells fanfiction #the flash cw #the cw #the flash fanfiction #the flash au #the flash x reader #DC comics #dc #DCTV #the flash imagine

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puckinghell · 6 years ago

Note

69, Travis Konecny, fluff.....I’m giggling just from the prompt alone

I know very little about TK but that gif of him going “I’ll fuck you up, anytime” got me gooooood

—-

“Don’t you dare!” Your boyfriend glared at you from behind the couch, clutching a couch pillow in his hands. “Stay away from me!”

“But, Teek,” you whined, “you have to let me do it! Listen, it’s for science!”

It was Thursday night and you’d had a long day. There was nothing you’d wanted to do more than cuddle up with Travis on the couch, and maybe watch a bad romcom.

But then you’d been texting your friends, and well, it turned out there was something you wanted to do more than that.

“You are not painting my toenails and that’s final.”

“But if I don’t do it, I can’t prove to the group chat that you could rock a black nail! Come on, it’s basically a Flyers color. I don’t have orange nail polish.”

Another glare from your boyfriend. He threw the pillow back on the couch, but instead grabbed on to the couch as if he was planning to throw the whole thing your way if you took one step closer to him with that little bottle of black nail polish.

“That is not science,” he growled, “and it’s not happening.”

You were pretty quick, but you knew you were no match for Travis. He was a professional hockey player. It was ridiculously unfair, but you couldn’t just wrestle him to the ground to get your way.

However, you did have one strength he didn’t have.

“Fine,” you told him, crossing your arms. “What will it take?”

He eyed you suspiciously. “What are you offering?”

“Anything.”

His face lit up and something wicked glossed over his eyes. “Anything?”

Oh boy, were you in trouble. “Yes, anything. But, I get to take a picture to send to the group chat.”

Now Travis was smirking at you, and that was never a good sign. Slowly, he stepped from behind the couch. “Okay.”

That was all. He didn’t tell you what he would want you to do, but you had no doubt it was going to be sexual, so you would have to prepare yourself for a long night. You ended up with two orgasms, and a picture of TK with black fingernails.

Really, you won on both ends.

#travis konecny #philadephia flyers #blurb #Anonymous #regular blurb

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angelofberlin2000 · 6 years ago

Link

Photo: Emily Denniston/Vulture and photos courtesy of the studios

Keanu Reeves has been a movie star for more than 30 years, but it seems like only recently that journalists and critics have come to acknowledge the significance of his onscreen achievements. He’s had hits throughout his career, ranging from teen comedies (Bill & Ted’s) to action franchises (The Matrix, John Wick), yet a large part of the press has always treated these successes as bizarre anomalies. And that’s because we as a society have never been able to understand fully what Reeves does that makes his films so special.

In part, this disconnect is the lingering cultural memory of Reeves as Theodore Logan. No matter if he’s in Speed or Bram Stoker’s Dracula or Something’s Gotta Give, he still possesses the fresh-faced openness that was forever personified by Ted’s favorite expression: “Whoa!” That wide-eyed exclamation has been Reeves’s official trademark ever since, and its eternal adolescent naïveté has kept him from being properly judged on the merits of his work.

Some of that critical reassessment has been provided, quite eloquently, by Vulture’s own Angelica Jade Bastién, who has argued for Reeves’s greatness as an action star and his importance to The Matrix (and 21st-century blockbusters in general). Two of her observations are worth quoting in full, and they both have to do with how he has reshaped big-screen machismo. In 2017, she wrote, “What makes Reeves different from other action stars is this vulnerable, open relationship with the camera — it adds a through-line of loneliness that shapes all his greatest action-movie characters, from naïve hotshots like Johnny Utah to exuberant ‘chosen ones’ like Neo to weathered professionals like John Wick.” In the same piece, Bastién noted: “By and large, Hollywood action heroes revere a troubling brand of American masculinity that leaves no room for displays of authentic emotion. Throughout Reeves’s career, he has shied away from this. His characters are often led into new worlds by women of far greater skill and experience … There is a sincerity he brings to his characters that make them human, even when their prowess makes them seem nearly supernatural.”

In other words, the femininity of his beauty — not to mention his slightly odd cadence when delivering dialogue, as if he’s an alien still learning how Earthlings speak — has made him seem bizarre to audiences who have come to expect their leading men to act and carry themselves in a particular way. Critics have had a difficult time taking him seriously because it was never quite clear if what he was doing — or what was seemingly “missing” from his acting approach — was intentional or a failing.

This is not to say that Reeves hasn’t made mistakes. While putting together this ranking of his every film role, we noticed that there was an alarmingly copious number of duds — either because he chose bad material or the filmmakers didn’t quite know what to do with him. But as we prepare for the release of the third John Wick installment, it’s clear that his many memorable performances weren’t all just flukes. From Dangerous Liaisons to Man of Tai Chi — or River’s Edge to Knock Knock — he’s been on a journey to grow as an actor while not losing that elemental intimacy he has with the viewer. Below, we revisit those performances, from worst to best.

45. Johnny Mnemonic (1995)

The nadir of the ’90s cyberpunk genre, and a movie so bad, with Reeves so stranded, that it’s actually a bit of a surprise the Wachowskis were able to forget about it and still cast him as Neo. Dumber than a box of rocks, it’s a movie about technology and the internet — based on a William Gibson story! — that seems to have been made by people who had never turned on a computer before. Seriously, watch this shit:

44. The Watcher (2000) This movie exists in many ways because of its stunt casting: James Spader as a dogged detective and Keanu as the serial killer obsessed with him. Wait, shouldn’t those roles be switched? Get it? There would come a time in his career when Keanu could have maybe handled this character, but here, still with his floppy Ted Logan hair, he just looks ridiculous. The hackneyed screenplay does him no favors, either. Disturbingly, Reeves claims that he was forced to do this movie because his assistant forged his signature on a contract. He received the fifth of his seven Razzie nominations for this film. (He has yet to win and hasn’t been nominated in 17 years. In fact, it’s another sign of how lame the Razzies are that he got a “Redeemer” award in 2015, as if he needed to “redeem” anything to those people.)

43. Sweet November (2001) It’s a testament to how cloying and clunky Sweet November is that its two leads (Reeves and Charlize Theron) are, today, the pinnacle of action-movie cool — thanks to the same filmmaker, Atomic Blonde and John Wick’s David Leitch — yet so inert and waxen here. This is a career low point for both actors, preying on their weak spots. Watching it now, you can see there’s an undeniable discomfort on their faces: If being a movie star means doing junk like this, what’s the point? They’d eventually figure it all out.

42. Chain Reaction (1996) As far as premises for thrillers go, this isn’t the worst idea: A team of scientists are wiped out — with their murder pinned on poor Keanu — because they’ve figured out how to transform water into fuel. (Hey, Science, it has been 23 years. Why haven’t you solved this yet?) Sadly, this turns into a by-the-numbers chase flick with Reeves as Richard Kimble, trying to prove his innocence while on the run. He hadn’t quite figured out how to give a project like this much oomph yet, so it just mostly lies around, making you wish you were watching The Fugitive instead.

41. 47 Ronin (2013) In 2013, Reeves made his directorial debut with a Hong Kong–style action film. We’ll get into that one later, because it’s a ton better than this jumbled mess, a mishmash of fantasy and swordplay that mostly just gives viewers a headache. Also: This has to be the worst wig of Keanu’s career, yes?

40. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1993)

Gus Van Sant’s famously terrible adaptation of Tom Robbins’s novel never gets the tone even close to right, and all sorts of amazing actors are stranded and flailing around. Reeves gets some of the worst of it: Why cast one of the most famously chill actors on the planet and have him keep hyperventilating?

39. Replicas (2019) In the wake of John Wick’s success, Keanu has had the opportunity to sleepwalk through some lesser sci-fi actioners, and this one is particularly sleepy. The idea of a neuroscientist (Reeves) who tries to clone his family after they die in an accident could have been a Pet Sematary update, but the movie insists on an Evil Corporation plot that we’ve seen a million times before. John Wick has allowed Reeves to cash more random checks than he might have ten years ago. Here’s one of them.

38. Feeling Minnesota (1996) As far as we know, the only movie taken directly from a Soundgarden lyric — unless we’re missing a superhero named “Spoonman” — is this pseudo-romantic comedy that attempts to be cut from the Tarantino cloth but ends up making you think everyone onscreen desperately needs a haircut and a shave. Reeves can tap into that slacker vibe if asked to, but he requires much better material than this.

37. Little Buddha (1994)

To state the obvious, it would not fly today for Keanu Reeves to play Prince Siddhartha, a monk who would become the Buddha. But questions of cultural appropriation aside, you can understand what drew The Last Emperor director Bernardo Bertolucci to cast this supremely placid man as an iconic noble figure. Unfortunately, Little Buddha never rises above a well-meaning, simplistic depiction of the roots of a worldwide religion, and the effects have aged even more poorly. Nonetheless, Reeves is quite accomplished at being very still.

36. Much Ado About Nothing (1993) Quick anecdote: We saw this Kenneth Branagh adaptation of the Bard during its original theatrical run, and when Reeves’s villainous Don John came onscreen and declared, “I am not of many words,” the audience clapped sarcastically. That memory stuck because it encapsulates viewers’ inability in the early ’90s to see him as anything other than a dim SoCal kid. Unfortunately, his performance in Much Ado About Nothing doesn’t do much to prove his haters wrong. As an actor, he simply didn’t have the gravitas yet to pull off this fiendish role, and so this version is more radiant and alive when he’s not onscreen. It is probably just as well his character doesn’t have many words.

35. Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) GIFs are a cheap way to critique a performance. After all, acting is a complicated, arduous discipline that shouldn’t be reduced to easy laughs drawn from a few seconds of film played on a loop. Then again …

This really does sum up Reeves’s unsubstantial performance as Jonathan Harker, whose new client is definitely up to no good. Bram Stoker’s Dracula is a wonder of old-school special effects and operatic passion — and it is also a movie in which Reeves seems wholly ill at ease, never quite latching onto the story’s macabre period vibe. We suspect if he could revisit this role now, he’d be far more commanding and engaged. But in 1992, he was still too much Ted and not enough anything else. And Reeves knew it: A couple years later, when asked to name his most difficult role to that point, he said, “My failure in Dracula. Totally. Completely. The accent wasn’t that bad, though.” Well …

34. The Neon Demon (2016)

One of the perks of being a superstar is that you can sometimes just phone in an amusing cameo in some bizarro art-house offering. How else to explain Reeves’s appearance in this stylish, empty, increasingly surreal psychological thriller from Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn? He plays Hank, a scumbag motel manager whose main job is to add some local color to this portrait of the cutthroat L.A. fashion scene. If you’ve been waiting to hear Keanu deliver skeezy lines like “Why, did she send you out for tampons, too?!” and “Real Lolita shit … real Lolita shit,” The Neon Demon is the film for you. He’s barely in it, and we wouldn’t blame him if he doesn’t even remember it.

33. The Lake House (2006) Reeves reunites with his Speed co-star for a movie that features a lot fewer out-of-control buses. In The Lake House, Sandra Bullock plays a doctor who owns a lake house with the strangest magical power: She can send and receive letters from the house’s owner from two years prior, a dashing architect (Reeves). This American remake of the South Korean drama Il Mare is romantic goo that’s relatively easy to resist, and its ruminations on fate, love, destiny, and luck are all pretty standard for the genre. As for those hoping to enjoy the actors’ rekindled chemistry, spoiler alert: They’re not onscreen that much together.

32. Henry’s Crime (2011) You have to be careful not to cast Reeves as too passive a character; he’s so naturally calm that if he just sits and reacts to everything, and never steps up, your movie never really gets going. That’s the case in this heist movie about an innocent man (Reeves) who goes to jail for a crime he didn’t commit and then plans a scam with an inmate he meets there (James Caan). The movie wants to be a little quirkier than it is, and Reeves never quite snaps to. The film just idles on the runway.

31. The Bad Batch (2017) Following her acclaimed A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, filmmaker Ana Lily Amirpour plops us in the middle of a desert hellscape in which a young woman (Suki Waterhouse) must battle to stay alive. The Bad Batch is less accomplished than A Girl, in large part because style outpaces substance — it’s a movie in which clever flourishes and indulgent choices rule all. Look no further than Reeves’s performance as the Dream, a cult leader who oversees the only semblance of civilization in this post-apocalyptic world. It’s less a character than an attitude, and Reeves struggles to make the shtick fly. He’s too goofy a villain for us to really feel the full measure of his monstrousness.

30. Hardball (2001)

Reeves isn’t the first guy you’d think of to head up a Bad News Bears–style inspirational sports movie, and he doesn’t pull it off, playing a gambler who becomes the coach of an inner-city baseball team and learns to love, or something. It’s as straightforward and predictable an underdog sports movie as you’ll find, and it serves as a reminder that Reeves’s specific set of skills can’t be applied to just any old generic leading-man role. The best part about the film? A 14-year-old Michael B. Jordan.

29. Street Kings (2008) Filmmaker David Ayer has made smart, tough L.A. thrillers like Training Day (which he wrote) and End of Watch (which he wrote and directed). Unfortunately, this effort with Reeves never stops being a mélange of cop-drama clichés, casting the actor as Ludlow, an LAPD detective who’s starting to lose his moral compass. This requires Reeves to be a hard-ass, which never feels particularly convincing. Street Kings is bland, forgettable pulp — Reeves doesn’t enliven it, getting buried along with the rest of a fine ensemble that includes Forest Whitaker, Hugh Laurie, and a pre-Captain America Chris Evans.

28. Constantine (2005) In post-Matrix mode, Reeves tries to launch another franchise in a DC Comics adaptation about a man who can see spirits on Earth and is doomed to atone for a suicide attempt by straddling the divide twixt Heaven and Hell. That’s not the worst idea, and at times Constantine looks terrific, but the movie doesn’t have enough wit or charm to play with Reeves’s persona the way the Wachowskis did.

27. The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) Reeves’s alienlike beauty and off-kilter line readings made him an obvious choice to play Klaatu, an extraterrestrial who assumes human form when he arrives on our planet. This remake of the 1950s sci-fi classic doesn’t have a particularly urgent reason to exist — its pro-environment message is timely but awkwardly fashioned atop an action-blockbuster template — and the actor alone can’t make this Day particularly memorable. Still, there are signs of the confident post-Matrix star he had become, which would be rewarded in a few years with John Wick.

26. Knock Knock (2015) Reeves flirts with Michael Douglas territory in this Eli Roth erotic thriller that’s not especially good but is interesting as an acting exercise. He plays Evan, a contented family man with the house to himself while his wife and kids are out of town. Conveniently, two beautiful young strangers (Ana de Armas, Lorenza Izzo) come by late one stormy night, inviting themselves in and quickly seducing him. Is this his wildest sexual fantasy come to life? Or something far more ominous? It’s fun to watch Reeves be a basic married suburban dude who slowly realizes that he’s entered Hell, but Knock Knock’s knowing trashiness only takes this cautionary tale so far.

25. The Devil’s Advocate (1997)

Very few people bought tickets in 1997 for The Devil’s Advocate to see Keanu Reeves: Hotshot Attorney. Obviously, this horror thriller’s chief appeal was witnessing Al Pacino go over the top as Satan himself, who just so happens to be a New York lawyer. Nonetheless, it’s Reeves’s Kevin Lomax who’s actually the film’s main character; recently moved to Manhattan with his wife (Reeves’s future Sweet November co-star, Charlize Theron), he’s the new hire at a prestigious law firm who only later learns what nefarious motives have brought him there. Reeves is forced to play the wunderkind who gets in over his head, and it’s not entirely convincing — and that goes double for his southern accent.

24. The Prince of Pennsylvania (1988) “You are like some stray dog I never should have fed.” That’s how Rupert’s older hippie pal, Carla (Amy Madigan), affectionately refers to him, and because this teen dropout is played by Keanu Reeves, you understand what she means. In this forgotten early chapter in Reeves’s career, Rupert and Carla decide to ditch their going-nowhere Rust Belt existence by taking his dad (Fred Ward) hostage and collecting a handsome ransom. The Prince of Pennsylvania is a thoroughly contrived and mediocre comedy, featuring Reeves with an incredibly unfortunate haircut. (Squint and he looks like the front man for the Red Hot Chili Peppers.) Still, you can see signs of the soulfulness and vulnerability he’d later harness in better projects. He’s very much a big puppy looking for a home.

23. The Last Time I Committed Suicide (1997) Every hip young ’90s actor had to get his Jack Kerouac on at some point, so it would seem churlish to deny Reeves his opportunity. He plays the best pal/drinking buddy of Thomas Jane’s Neal Cassady, and he looks like he’s enjoying doing the Kerouac pose. Other actors have done so more indulgently. And even though he’s heavier than he’s ever been in a movie, he looks great.

22. A Walk in the Clouds (1995) Keanu isn’t quite as bad in this as it seemed at the time. He’s miscast as a tortured war veteran who finds love by posing as the husband of a pregnant woman, but he doesn’t overdo it either: If someone’s not right for a part, you’d rather them not push it, and Keanu doesn’t. Plus, come on, this movie looks fantastic: Who doesn’t want to hang around these vineyards? Not necessarily worth a rewatch, but not the disaster many consider it.

21. The Replacements (2000) The other movie where Keanu Reeves plays a former quarterback, The Replacements is an adequate Sunday-afternoon-on-cable sports comedy. He plays Shane, the stereotypical next-big-thing whose career capsized after a disastrous bowl game — but fear not, because he’s going to get a second chance at gridiron glory once the pros go on strike and the greedy owners decide to hire scabs to replace them. Reeves has never been particularly great at playing regular guys — his talent is that he seems different, more special, than you or me — but he ably portrays a good man who’s had to live with disappointment. The Replacements pushes all the predictable buttons, but Reeves makes it a little more enjoyable than it would be otherwise.

20. Tune in Tomorrow (1990) A very minor but sporadically charming bauble about a radio soap-opera scriptwriter (Peter Falk) who begins chronicling an affair between a woman (Barbara Hershey) and her not-related-by-blood nephew on his show — and ultimately begins manipulating it. Tune in Tomorrow is light and silly and harmless, and Reeves shows up on time to set and looks extremely eager to impress. He blends into the background quietly, which is probably enough.

19. I Love You to Death (1990)

This Lawrence Kasdan comedy — the first film after an incredible four-picture run of Body Heat, The Big Chill, Silverado, and The Accidental Tourist — is mostly forgotten today, and for good reason: It’s a farce that mostly features actors screaming at each other and calling it “comedy.” But Reeves hits the right notes as a stoned hit man, and it’s amusing just to watch him share the screen with partner William Hurt. This could have been the world’s strangest comedy team!

18. Youngblood (1986)

This Rob Lowe hockey comedy is … well, a Rob Lowe hockey comedy, but we had to include it because a 21-year-old Reeves plays a dim-bulb, good-hearted hockey player with a French Canadian accent that’s so incredible that you really just have to see it. Imagine if this were the only role Keanu Reeves ever had? It’s sort of amazing. “AH-NEE-MAL!”

17. Destination Wedding (2018) An oddly curdled comedy about two wedding guests (Reeves and Winona Ryder) who have terrible attitudes about everything but end up bonding over their universal disdain for the planet and everyone on it. That sounds like a chore to watch, and at times it is, but the pairing of Reeves and Ryder has enough nostalgic Gen-X spark to it that you go along with them anyway. With almost any other actors you might run screaming away, but somehow, in spite of everything, you find them both likable.

16. Thumbsucker (2005)

The first film from 20th Century Women and Beginners’ Mike Mills, this mild but clever coming-of-age comedy adaptation of a Walter Kirn novel has Mills’s trademark good cheer and emotional honesty. Reeves plays the eponymous thumbsucker’s dentist — it’s funny to see Keanu play someone named “Dr. Perry Lyman” — who has the exact right attitude about both orthodontics and life. It’s a lived-in, funny performance, and a sign that Keanu, with the right director, could be a more than capable supporting character actor.

15. Something’s Gotta Give (2003) This Nancy Meyers romantic comedy was well timed in Reeves’s career. A month after the final Matrix film hit theaters, Something’s Gotta Give arrived, offering us a very different Keanu — not the intense, sci-fi action hero but rather a charming, low-key love interest who’s just the supporting player. He plays Julian Mercer, a doctor administering to shameless womanizer Harry Sanborn (Jack Nicholson), who’s dating a much younger woman (Amanda Peet), who just so happens to be the daughter of a celebrated playwright, Erica (Diane Keaton). We know who will eventually end up with whom in Something’s Gotta Give, but Reeves proves to be a great romantic foil, wooing Erica with a grown-up sexiness the actor didn’t possess in his younger years. We’re still not sure Meyers got the ending right: Erica should have stuck with him instead of Harry.

14. Man of Tai Chi (2013) This is the only movie that Reeves has directed, and what does it tell us about him? Well, it tells us he has watched a ton of Hong Kong action movies and always wanted to make one himself. And it’s pretty good! It’s technically proficient, it has a straightforward narrative, it has some excellent long-take action sequences (as we see in John Wick, Keanu isn’t a quick-cut guy; he likes to show his work), and it has a perfectly decent Keanu performance. We wouldn’t call him a visionary director by any stretch of the imagination. But we’d watch another one of these, definitely.

13. Dangerous Liaisons (1988)

Le Chevalier Raphael Danceny is merely a pawn in a cruel game being played by Marquise de Merteuil and Vicomte de Valmont, and so it makes some sense that the young man who played him, Keanu Reeves, is himself a little outclassed by the actors around him. This Oscar-winning drama is led by Glenn Close and John Malkovich, who have the wit and bite to give this 18th-century tale of thwarted love and bruised pride some real zest. By comparison, Danceny is practically a boy, unschooled in the art of manipulation, and Reeves provides the character with the appropriate youthful naïveté. He’s not a standout in Dangerous Liaisons, but he acquits himself well — especially near the end, when his blade fells Valmont, leaving him as one of the unlikely survivors in the film’s ruthless battle.

12. The Private Lives of Pippa Lee (2009) In this incredible showcase for Robin Wright, who plays a woman navigating a constrictive, difficult life with more grace and intelligence than anyone realizes, Reeves shows up late in a role that he’s played before: the younger guy who’s the perfect fit for an older woman figuring herself out. He hits the right notes and never overstays his welcome. As a romantic lead, less is more for Reeves.

11. Parenthood (1989) If you were an uptight suburban dad, like Steve Martin is in Ron Howard’s ensemble comedy, your nightmare would be that your beloved daughter gets involved with a doofus like Tod. Nicely played by Keanu Reeves, the character is the embodiment of every slacker screwup who’s going to just stumble through life, knocking over everything and everyone in his path. But as it turns out, he’s a lot kinder and mature than at first glance. Released six months after Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Parenthood showed mainstream audiences a more grown-up Reeves, and he’s enormously appealing — never more so than when advising a young kid that it’s okay to masturbate: “I told him that’s what little dudes do.”

10. Permanent Record (1988) A very lovely and sad movie that’s nearly forgotten today, Permanent Record, directed by novelist Marisa Silver, features Reeves as the best friend of a teenager who commits suicide and, along with the rest of their friends, has to pick up the pieces. For all of Reeves’s trademark reserve, there is very little restraint here: His character is devastated, and Reeves, impressively, hits every note of that grief convincingly. You see this guy and you understand why everyone wanted to make him a star. This is a very different Reeves from now, but it’s not necessarily a worse one.

9. Point Break (1991)

Just as Reeves’s reputation has grown over time, so too has the reputation of this loopy, philosophical crime thriller. Do people love Point Break ironically now, enjoying its over-the-top depiction of men seeking a spiritual connection with the world around them? Or do they genuinely appreciate the seriousness that director Kathryn Bigelow brought to her study of lonely souls looking for that next big rush — whether through surfing or robbing banks? The power of Reeves’s performance is that it works both ways. If you want to snicker at his melodramatic turn, fine — but if you want to marvel at the rapport his Johnny Utah forms with Patrick Swayze (Bodhi), who only feels alive when he’s living life to the extreme, then Point Break has room for you on the bandwagon.

8. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) and Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991) Before there was Beavis and Butt-Head, before there was Wayne and Garth, there were these guys: two Valley bozos who loved to shred and goof off. As Theodore Logan, Keanu Reeves found the perfect vessel for his serene silliness, playing well off Alex Winter’s equally clueless Bill. But note that Bill and Ted aren’t jerks — watch Excellent Adventure now and you’ll be struck by how incredibly sunny its humor is. Later in his career, Reeves would show off a darker, more brooding side, but here in Excellent Adventure (and its less-great sequel Bogus Journey) he makes blissful stupidity endearing.

7. The Gift (2000) This Sam Raimi film, with a Billy Bob Thornton script inspired by his mother, fizzled at the box office, despite a top-shelf cast: It’s probably not even the first film called The Gift you think of when we bring it up. But, gotta say, Reeves is outstanding in it, playing an abusive husband and all-around sonuvabitch who, nevertheless, might be unfairly accused of murder, a fact only a psychic (Cate Blanchett) understands. Reeves is full-on trailer trash here, but he brings something new and unexpected to it: a sort of bewildered malevolence, as if he’s moved by forces outside of his control. More of this, please.

6. My Own Private Idaho (1991)

Gus Van Sant’s landmark drama is chiefly remembered for River Phoenix’s nakedly anguished performance as Mike, a spiritually adrift gay hustler. (Phoenix’s death two years after My Own Private Idaho’s release only makes the portrayal more heartbreaking.) But his performance doesn’t work without a doubles partner, which is where Reeves comes in. Playing Scott, a fellow hustler and Mike’s best friend, Reeves adeptly encapsulates the mind-set of a young man content to just float through life. Unlike Mike, he knows he has a fat inheritance in his future — and also unlike Mike, he’s not gay, unable to share his buddy’s romantic feelings. Phoenix deservedly earned most of the accolades, but Reeves is terrific as an unobtainable object of affection — inviting, enticing, but also unknowable.

5. Speed (1994)

Years later, we still contend that Speed is a stupid idea for a movie that, despite all logic (or maybe because of the utter insanity of its premise), ended up being a total hoot. What’s clear is that the film simply couldn’t have worked if Reeves hadn’t approached the story with straight-faced sincerity: His L.A. cop Jack Traven is a ramrod-serious lawman who is going to do whatever it takes to save those bus passengers. Part of the pleasure of Speed is how it constantly juxtaposes the life-or-death stakes with the high-concept inanity — Stay above 50 mph or the bus will explode! — and that internal tension is expressed wonderfully by Reeves, who invests so intently in the ludicrousness that the movie is equally thrilling and knowingly goofy. And it goes without saying that he has dynamite chemistry with Sandra Bullock. Strictly speaking, you probably shouldn’t flirt this much when you’re sitting on top of a bomb — but it’s awfully appealing when they get their happy ending.

4. River’s Edge (1987) This film’s casting director said she cast Reeves as one of the dead-end kids who learn about a murder and do nothing “because of the way he held his body … his shoes were untied, and what he was wearing looked like a young person growing into being a man.” This was very much who the early Reeves was, and River’s Edge might be his darkest film. His vacancy here is not Zen cool … it’s just vacant, intellectually, ethically, morally, emotionally. Only in that void could Reeves be this terrifying. This is definitely a performance, but it never feels like acting. His magnetism was almost mystical.

3. John Wick (2014), John Wick: Chapter Two (2017), and John Wick: Chapter 3 — Parabellum (2019)

If they hadn’t killed his dog, none of this would have happened. Firmly part of the “middle-aged movie stars playing mournful badasses” subgenre that’s sprung up since Taken, the John Wick saga provides Reeves with an opportunity to be stripped-down but not serene. He’s a lethal assassin who swore to his dead wife that he’d put down his arms — but, lucky for us, he reneges on that promise after he’s pushed too far. Whereas in his previous hits there was something detached about Reeves, here’s he locked in in such a way that it’s both delightful and a little unnerving. The 2014 original was gleefully over-the-top already, and the sequels have only amped up the spectacle, but his genuine fury and weariness felt new, exciting, a revelation. Turns out Keanu Reeves is frighteningly convincing as a guy who can kill many, many people.

2. A Scanner Darkly (2006)

In hindsight, it seems odd that Keanu Reeves and Richard Linklater have only worked together once — their laid-back vibes would seemingly make them well suited for one another. But it makes sense that the one film they’ve made together is this Philip K. Dick adaptation, which utilizes interpolated rotoscoping to tell the story of a drug cop (Reeves) who’s hiding his own addiction while living in a nightmarish police state. That wavy, floating style of animation nicely complements A Scanner Darkly’s sense of jittery paranoia, but it also deftly mimics Reeves’s performance, which seems to be drifting along on its own wavelength. If in the Matrix films, he manages to defeat the dark forces, in this film they’re too powerful, leading to a pretty mournful finale.

1. The Matrix (1999), The Matrix Reloaded (2003), and The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

“They had written something that I had never seen, but in a way, something that I’d always hoped for — as an actor, as a fan of science fiction.” That’s how Reeves described the sensation of reading the screenplay for The Matrix, which had been dreamed up by two up-and-coming filmmakers, Lana and Lilly Wachowski. Five years after Speed, he found his next great project, which would become the defining role of his career. Neo is the missing link between Ted’s Zen-like stillness and John Wick’s lethal efficiency, giving us a hero’s journey for the 21st century that took from Luke Skywalker and anime with equal aplomb. Never before had the actor been such a formidable onscreen presence — deadly serious but still loose and limber. Even when the sequels succumbed to philosophical ramblings and overblown CGI, Reeves commanded the frame. We always knew that he seemed like a cool, left-of-center guy. The Matrix films gave him an opportunity to flex those muscles in a true blockbuster.

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves movies #ranking #vulture

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darling-i-read-it · 6 years ago

Text

The Queen Part 7

FP Jones x reader

First Part Second Part Third Part Forth Part Fifth Part Sixth Part

Word Count:1741

Warnings:language, okay so in this one there is a sexual assault. It does not go far however it is still there so PLEASE IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH SEXUAL ASSAULT DON’T READ. If you feel uncomfortable reading you can DM me and I will happily give you the rundown of the chapter.

Author’s Note: Thanks for still reading and PLEASE READ THE WARNING. Italics are flashback

Summary: Diving into the reader and Hiram’s past while showing how he was going to deal with her leaving.

Playlist:

(not my gif)

You awoke on the couch, tired and worn. An arm was around your waist protectively, which made you smile. You were still dressed in yours/Hermione's pants and FP’s shirt. You laughed at the fact that almost zero of the clothes you were wearing were yours, which woke up the sleeping man beside you.

“Don’t go,” he murmured and you didn’t, laying back down on the couch with him. FP nuzzled his head into your back and groaned at the sunlight that seeped through the cracks of the trailer. Your phone buzzed on the floor beside you and you realized you must have left it here. Did you bring it to the Lodges?

When you picked it up the answer to your question blared in bright lights. The phone number read ‘Hiram’ which meant without a doubt he had been in your phone. You didn’t have much to hide in it, didn’t have any social media or anything but still the thought of him scrolling through your personal item brought back bad memories, something you would rather forget.

Fred sat across from you at the table in science class. He had goggles on and was pouring a bubbly liquid into another different color beaker. You watched as he did this ready to catch any reaction that the chemicals would have to one another.

“Hey muffin,” Hiram whispered behind you. You jumped, knocking over the beaker that sat next to you causing Fred to backup causing the stuff he was pouring in to spill over his lab coat. Immediately the two of you went to sop it up but Hiram could only laugh at you as you did it.

Before today you had only just mildly disliked Hiram. He was the rich kid of the school and you avoided him at all costs but he seemed almost to be seeking you out. He even had a attraction to calling you ‘muffin’ which made you go crazy with madness.

You had nicknames for your friends not creepy dudes you barely saw in the halls. But you were always somewhat nice to him for some reason. It was probably because you felt bad for how selfish and shallow all of his actual friends were.

“What do you want Hiram?,” you asked through gritted teeth. He leaned against the table and went unnoticed by the teacher and most of the students that were helping you avoid a chemical mishap. Hiram leaned down beside you but only so he could see your face.

“You,” he mumbled. You froze.

The way he spoke made you feel not even the least bit flattered or in need of him as well. It made you feel threatened. Hiram always gave you a unsettling feeling but you were never scared around him. You were scared of his much larger frame in that moment as you tried to think about what you wanted to say to him, what could you say to him to get him to go away? If only Fred wasn’t in the nurse's office getting checked for burns. If only this wasn’t a AP class that there were no serpents in. You could use some saving right now.

“I’m sorry Hiram but I’m not for sale,” you spoke as snarky as you usually would, trying not to get him hinted at just how nervous you were by his very presence.

“I don’t know sweetheart, that outfit looks like someone dressed you for sale to me.” He picked at the hem of your shirt which was a crop top but nothing to revealing. Today’s outfit consisted of about a 6 inch above your knee skirt and the shirt with your serpents jacket. This was nothing special.

“Hiram keep your hands to yourself,” you pleaded. His eyes were on fire and you had backed up as far as you could with the counter. Everyone around you was still ablaze with the chemical mishap that no one noticed your fear. Hiram was flush against your body now and his hands roamed up your shirt, to far, way to far. Your mind raced in a hundred different directions. “Stop,” you told him sternly, feeling around the table for something to defend yourself with. He grabbed at your notebook and turned around, cracking it open leaving you cold from his touch. You reached for it, your book of doodles and poems and personal things you’d rather keep out of the hands of a Lodge. But he was stronger than you and overpowered you.

“I think I’ll keep this for awhile,” he mused, turning it sideways to look at a picture from a different angle.

“Hiram please just give it back,” you pleaded once more desperate to keep your thoughts to yourself. But he didn’t listen and took the book anyway.

He left you feeling violated and stripped of yourself for the day.

The book was returned with a smug smile to you at the end of the day but it no longer felt safe guarded and you threw it in the nearest dumpster on your way home.

You told no one of this assault and kept it to yourself. The serpent's couldn’t handle a blow from Hiram Lodge that they were bound to get if they invoked a fight. So Fred, FP, everyone we’re oblivious to the fact you felt as though a part of you was missing after that day.

You moved from FP and stood up, walking toward the other room. You closed the door behind you as you entered the bedroom and you almost felt odd answering the phone here.

“Hello?” You whispered.

“You left the house,” Hiram spoke. His voice sounded so far away like he wasn’t really in the present and rather living in the past.

“I’m sorry I really appreciate the hospitality but I needed to come home.” Hiram scoffed on the other line.

“Home? You haven’t had a home in 20 years Y/N.”

“How do you know that?” You inquired. Hiram didn’t answer at first and you were surprised that he could be caught off guard

“I have my ways old friend.” His voice was chilling, causing you to lean against the door to steady yourself from fear.

“We were not friends.” Hiram chuckled.

“Are you sure about that muffin? We were fairly close. On the odd day,” he told you. Although he was the only man who was able to make you tremble with fear by just saying words, you had to stand your ground. If you were going to stay here with FP you had to be able to stand Hiram.

“I am sure Hiram. I have a name if you were unaware. What do you want? I’m keen on sleeping so make it quick,” you sounded strong and were amazed at the fact that your voice wasn’t quivering. Hiram sighed.

“You’re right Ms.Y/L/N I shouldn’t keep you awake we know how cranky you get. I only have one request in return of my hospitality and your utter rudeness leaving without breakfast.” He waited.

“Yes Hiram?” you asked impatiently.

“My daughter was especially hurt to your leaving. You’re going to make it up to her and her friends by speaking with Alice.” You squinted.

“How will that help Veronica?” you asked. Hiam was quick to answer you.

“All you need to know is that you need to speak with Alice. She and Betty will give you all you need and you’ll do as your told. It’s simple really just a favor for a old...acatinces. I’m confident you won’t speak a word of this to my daughter?” You thought this whole situation very odd. Alice and Betty and Hiram all needed help? Together? And this needed you? You’d only just come back to Riverdale and you were already being asked for weird favors and people were acting already as if you owed them anything!

“Alright Hiram whatever I’ll talk to the wicked witch of the west and Betty. I don’t know why and I don’t really care. Will you just leave me alone after this?” you whispered when you heard shifting in the main room.

“It’s a small town Y/N. I’m sure we’ll run into one another again.” He hung up and left you feeling as though you had just been given a quest of a video game as you stepped outside the door to be met with FP who was standing just outside the door.

“How long have you been standing there?” you pondered. He placed his hands on your shoulders and pulled you into his embrace easily. “FP? What’s wrong?” He didn’t speak at first.

“Did you stay with the Lodges last night? Tell me you didn’t.” His voice was low and quiet as though he were trying to make sure no one heard your conversation. You were confused.

“Is that a problem? Nothing happened if that’s what-” He let you go.

“Dammit Y/N!” You were truly confused on why he was so angry at you, you had just made up.

“Is something wrong?”

“Yes something is wrong! He asked you to see Alice didn’t he?” You nodded. “The real reason that Alice was here last night Y/N. She’s a accessory to murder. Veronica killed someone last night.” You had trouble believing that even coming from someone you trusted.

“How? Who?” FP took in a deep breath as you awaited the answer. You had just woken up and were very unsure how he even knew this. You had woken up before him for goodness sake.

“A gun. A student.”

“Who?!”

“She shot and killed a Serpent Y/N.”

All the time tag list: @swanky-batman

The Queen Tag List: @southsidemistress @unaveragewriterfreak @outerxorbit @alixthealmighty @winter111502 @evyiione @fangirlbitch02 @sweetest-siren @xsuperhero-expertx @savannah-m-99 @sjlovestory @nikkipea

@skittlesxlola @river-serpents @findmeinpops

Part 8

#riverdale #fp jones x reader #fp jones imagines #veronica lodge #hiram lodge

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selivakyle · 6 years ago

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i was tagged by @sapphicsamwilson to do my top 10 movies using gifs! unfortunately my wifi wont work with this gd website so im just going to do small explanations instead :3

i am tagging @redhodd @lesbastard @dykejason @sirius and @wadenathan

1. the grand budapest hotel. one of my go to’s for when im in a bad mood, im bored, i want a laugh. the acting was phenomenal and i can pretend to be a Movie Hoe too. also pretty colours

2. john wick. litcherally keanu saying “im thinking im back” is my comp-het crush specifically. the fight scenes are so good and i nut in the baba yega scene EVERY TIME bc the delivery of it was On Point.

3. star trek beyond. SO MUCH CAN BE SAID ABOUT THIS MOVIE. the soundtrack. idris elba. the growth of the crew and more specifically james t kirk who for his whole life saw himself under the shadow of his father’s death but came to the realisation that he became a captain and stayed as a captain because of his crew - not just for some bet. also that funky lesbian jaylah adds like 70 points to this. simon pegg and justin lin really outdid themselves and im forever grateful.

4. miss congeniality. honestly my entire sexuality awakening can be pinpointed to the moment sandra bullock exits that plane hangar in her violet mini dress tied by a single spaghetti halter neck strap with matching shoes and telling the men hassling her she will shoot her. her arms and thighs look so good and i am so gay. obviously some questionable things about this film, but overall it just makes me feel really happy on the inside.

5. the martian. the reason i wanted to study geology at university (no lie, how embarrassing, its funny bc that paper was the worst thing to ever happen to me in my life). but to be honest i always cry in the scene where he gets saved by jessica chastain and like the science behind it makes me Nut and overall its just a good movie. it was the reason i also watched gravity which got me a scholarship in english bc of my essay i wrote a few months later. thank you, andy weir

6. 10 things i hate about you. also another filme i had to analyse for hours back in high school for my end of year exams, but for some reason i still love it. is it because im a giant lesbian for kat? most likely, but also spending half a year analysing relationships and camera angles and colour theory about a modernised and bastardised Shakespeare play really gets deep (the same could also be said about she’s the man, which i also love). also the soundtrack slaps sp

7. the edge of seventeen. pretty much every person i know who has watched this HATED it but i cried like a baby and also watched it during a really rough patch during my first year. i have only watched it once but its one of those films that just like. stuck with me. and i always recommend it to my friends to watch bc sometimes we all just need to watch hailee steinfeld’s life spiral for almost an hour before coming to the realisation that actually, not all things suck when u look at them in a diff perspective.

8. hairspray. literally this is just the best musical on earth no one can convince me otherwise

9. three billboards outside ebbing, missouri. bro. i cried i laughed and i also came away from this so INCREDIBLY pissed off with the ending until i realised - oh. that was kind of the point. idk like all of the other movies directed by martin mcdonagh the plot just focuses on one major big thing with very little else happening, but the changes in character development are really subtle and good.

10. mulan. she’s my hero i love the soundtrack i love the story im so proud of that funky nb bisexual like UGH. if only the second stood up to the calibre of the first rip.

+ 11. the nice guys. please just watch it, ryan gosling was a fucking gem in this and its just one of those fucking weird movies that isnt funny unless you watch it twice.

#about #films

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drunklander · 7 years ago

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Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 309

*puts Lonely Island on repeat* Shipnanigans are here!

I was originally kind of not looking forward to the second half of the season because this part of Voyager is absolutely batshit bananas. But then I was wicked underwhelmed by the part of the season I thought I would love.

So fuck it. Bring on the ridiculousness.

I like this episode. But only if I try to watch it pretending like the first part of the season didn’t happen... Because if I watch it with the other episodes in mind, I just get mildly ragey that we skip over the important emotional work Jamie and Claire still have to do in favor of fluff followed by another separation. And yeah, I love fluff. I love secksi times. I love Fraser snuggles. But the jump from the end of ep. 308 to the start of ep. 309 leaves me salty that we’re yet again asked to headcanon the reconciliation between Jamie and Claire. *side eyes the similar jump between ep. 207 and ep. 208* Whatever.

Get your towels ready it's about to go down. Everybody in the place hit the fuckin’ deck. But stay on your motherfuckin’ toes. We runnin’ this, let's go.

New credits! And the title card... Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin’ boat.

Ok this opening bit. Like Jamie was an asshole for the last two episodes. Claire never actually got to tell her side of things. She basically was like nope, I don’t think I even want to be here. But now it’s like all good, she’ll go on this 18th century sea voyage to find Jamie’s nephew. For real? They couldn’t have made a handful of tweaks last week and the beginning of this week so she could say she was going because she wanted to be with Jamie and keep working on their relationship? And Jamie’s apparently never going to apologize for being a massive piece of shit toward her? They do a good job over the course of the episode of showing them together but still with the insecurities and stuff, but jumping from where they were on the cliff to where they are in this episode makes me side eye the show like whoa.

And yes, I know that she’s really going on the ship because she wants to try to make it work with Jamie, but geez, let her say that. Let her tell him that he’s been a dick to her but she knows he has it in him to be not-shitty and she’s going because she thinks he can be better than he is in the last couple episodes. I don’t know why it bothers me so much when they make us fill in the blanks ourselves on stuff that seems definitely important enough to actually show. And then make it seem like we’re dumb or bad fans or something for wanting to actually see things instead of just headcanoning them in, because that’s how this production team rolls.

Replacement Rupert and Angus just aren’t the same as the originals. Like no one can replace Rupert and Angus, but like, I can’t bring myself to give a crap about these randos?

For real though, Claire’s inner monologue is probs like yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat. It's a big blue watery road...

And I get her 20th century scoffing at superstition, but like, girl. You’ve been in trouble for being a “witch” enough times now that c’mon. Don’t act like you don’t understand what’s going on with the sailors.

Marsali is my everything. I love her. I love her so much.

As much as I want Jamie to stand up for Claire, I do like that Fergus does it. Because Jamie, my dude, you deserve everything Marsali’s throwing at you.

Claire’s “No. You don’t.” as she drags Jamie away is also my everything.

Oh hey, a trunk of clothes! Got some swim trunks, and some flippie-floppies. But not a nautical themed pashmina afghan in sight. Welp. Can’t have everything.

I know it’s supposed to be sweet that Jamie wouldn’t let anyone get rid of Claire’s clothes. And a nice inverse to Frank burning her clothes. But I’m still just kind of chuckling because it’s not like he ever saw them? What with him living in a cave and then prison and then Helwater and then with Laoghaire. But whatever.

“Would you care to dine with me this evening? We drinking Santana champ, cause it's so crisp.” This captain is seriously the human equivalent of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Like dude. You’re the captain of the ship and you’re just like welp. Can’t do anything about the men. They’ll do what they’re gonna do. It’s not like I’m the one in the position of authority or anything.

High fives to Fergus for calling Jamie on his bullshit revisionist history.

Although it’s kinda icky that Jamie knows all of the girls who Fergus has banged? And also fuck him for being super chill about Fergus banging tons of girls but so fucking uptight about Marsali and Bree. I know, I know, it’s a different time. That doesn’t make him not a hypocrite though.

Slash Jamie’s the last person who should be lecturing *anyone* about the importance of honesty right now. But whatever. No real consequences for lying soooo... *pretends the last few eps haven’t happened*

Yi Tien Cho convincing Jamie to do acupuncture is also my everything. Seriously, I know I had a *rull* low bar for how that character was going to be changed, but I’m really, really loving him.

I for real can’t wait for more of Claire and Marsali. Like yeah, Jamie’s marital status *was* Claire’s business, and Jamie hadn’t been living with Laoghaire and the girls for ages so Claire also wasn’t really breaking up a family or anything, but I really like that Claire just lets Marsali’s comment slide. Like call Jamie out on all of his bullshit, please, but Marsali’s a teenager whose life was thrown through a loop and I feel like trying to talk to her when she’s in this kind of mood isn’t going to get anywhere. So by just being like “well the whore should get the bigger bed, shouldn’t she” it’s like telling Marsali that she’s not going to be cowed by the snark and also that she doesn’t need to justify her place in Jamie’s life to a rando. Like she’s not going to concede power by trying to explain herself to Marsali.

But for real, I love Marsali.

I honestly don’t get Jamie’s aversion to Fergus and Marsali though. Like they’re not making the age difference a thing in the show. And Jenny’s fucking kids have apparently been married and spitting out babies since they hit puberty. Like I get it makes for some tension with Laoghaire, but who gives a fuck? She hates them all already?

Claire and Yi Tien Cho are my favorite pair that I was not expecting to like so much. But like her being genuinely interested in his story and him being open with her, which is probably the first time he’s gotten to talk like that with anyone since he got to Scotland, is so great.

Oh. Another VO. Cool. It’s basically like I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me. Straight flowin’ on a boat on the deep blue sea. Bustin’ five knots, wind whippin’ out my coat. You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat.

Ok this insecurity in Jamie about hurting Claire’s feelings about the tea and acupuncture is adorable. Asshole Jamie’s insecurity of the past few episodes wasn’t. He was just an asshole.

And also, broseph, this is the kind of secret it’s ok to keep. Small, insignificant, adorable. The other one, not so much.

“My return has been confusing and frustrating. But it’s never been a question of whether I love you.” Confusing and frustrating is putting it a bit mildly, Claire, but apparently we’re done having real talk and Jamie doesn’t have to own up to being a fuckwad. Bqhatevwr. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m 1000% here for the fluff in this episode. I just have to pretend they actually did more of the hard convos in order to get to where they can have the fluff again.) And I’m pretty sure it *literally was* a question of whether you loved this Jamie, Claire. We all know you loved the old Jamie. But like, the whole thing on the cliff was literally about whether you loved the new Jamie. Y’know. The thing they never bothered addressing beyond the question being asked. Because lol nothing matters, fans can headcanon it and if they don’t they’re whiny and #badfans.

Whatever. *actively doesn’t think about past episodes* Here for pincushion heart eyes. Lookit how cute they are.

Cause of death: Claire telling Jamie about reading Bree Goodnight Moon.

And I love them talking about the moon like with the science of men flying there and the folk tales of the man in the moon representing each of them. They’re gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow. Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible.

“You miss her.” “Terribly.” Glad they’re highlighting Claire still feeling the loss of what she gave up to come back to Jamie. Still salty at his non-reaction to learning about his kid. And even here, like one line from him about Bree to let Claire know he loves her too? Or thinks about her too? To let Claire know she’s not alone in missing Bree? Please? No? Ok.

Here for the cuddles. I want the fluff. Believe me, I am trash for the fluff. I just wish again that the fluff felt more earned because they’d actually come to an understanding about where they stand with each other rather than just glossing over the hard part of coming back together. They showed the angsty set up then skipped the resolution and went straight to the fluff.

Whatever. Back to pretending the last few eps didn’t happen. Give me all the fluff. It’s fucking wonderful. I love fluff. I am a broken record.

I feel like the gif of Claire saying “that’s insanity” is going to come in quite handy...

Jamie going to save his dude like fuck land, I'm on a boat, motherfucker. Fuck trees, I climb buoys, motherfucker. I'm on the deck with my boys, motherfucker. And no one is gonna mess with his Ardsmuir boys.

Really reaching to fit some of these lyrics in and I’m not at all sorry.

The way they chant Jonah is def the angry mob way to chant it, but in my head I def kept being like Jo! Nah! Jo! Nah!. Like pumping someone up at a sports thing or something. You’re doing it wrong, brain.

I have a lot of feelings about Yi Tien Cho giving up his story and letting it go before he wanted to in order to save Jamie and his men. Yi Tien Cho really is the best of them.

And honestly Jamie telling the captain to let YTC speak is maybe the most decent thing he’s ever done for the man.

And then the papers fly off in the wind and I realize that I give not a single fuck about the actual plot of this episode.

But Claire saying thank you to Yi Tien Cho is so much more than just thank you for quelling the fight. Like this guy just told the story of his life, of where he’s from, and now he needs to give it up. And she recognizes and respects and appreciates what it’ll cost him to give it up since she too is from a place the fuckers on the ship couldn’t possibly understand. And he did it for this group who, as he so passionately said, thinks the worst of him. I have so many feelings about Claire and Yi Tien Cho, guys.

They kept in the ship quickie! I def thought they were going to cut it! Bless them for keeping it. Blesss. Same feelings about the rest of the fluff still apply, but this show is probs always going to pull stuff like this so I clearly just need to get over it and accept the fluff I’m given like a #goodfan.

Jamie’s like believe me when I say, I fucked a mermaid.

(I swear, I *hated* the line last week when Jamie said Jenny would sooner believe Claire was a mermaid than from the future, but at least it means the most ridic lyric in the fucking song fits perfectly.)

And Jamie being cute about Claire’s hair. Awww.

I hate the king of men line. Hate it. Hate that the production is so fixated on that. And that they think it’s cute to keep including their weird in-jokes in the show itself.

But whatever. Snuggle time! Yay for snuggles! Embrace the fluff! Forget your issues with the show! Stop being a sourpuss!

Oh snap, the British are coming! Never thought they’d see the day, when a big boat comin’ their way.

RIP Lt. Babyface. Long live Capt. Babyface!

Yay for Claire telling Jamie about her oath. And yay for Jamie actually getting it and respecting what she needs to do. It’s like ep. 306 Jamie again with the whole respecting Claire’s calling thing. So like, we should just ignore ep. 307 Jamie? Because he was an asshole about it.

Oh man, next week is gonna be rough, isn’t it. *All* the puking. This ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets.

For real though if the puking noises next week are like the brothel noises in ep. 306, I’m going to just watch on mute or something with the closed captions because it’s over the top, show.

Ok if Thomas Leonard is Capt. Babyface, I guess that makes Elias Pound Midshipman Fetus.

Oh man the cook being all like I'm flippin’ burgers, you at Kinko's straight flippin’ copies. Don’t fuck with Claire when she’s in Dr. Claire mode, my dude. You will not win that fight.

Yeah. If I pretend like this episode is the first one of the season, I like this episode. I’m kind of pissed that the show managed to make me salty about fluff. I love fluff, why you make me salty about fluff, show? And now I just want a goddamn fluffernutter.

And since I’m ignoring everything that could have been up until now, it doesn’t bug me that Jamie and Claire are separated...again. Because lol nothing matters.

Fucking give me all the badass Dr. Claire you have, show.

She’s on a boat motherfucker, don't you ever forget.

#*#drunj!der yells about outlander #outlander starz #outlander 3x09

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