#my gf has been saying this all day
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my girlfriend has been extra sneezy this week because she was backpacking and outdoors with no reprieve from the pollen for days and now all i can think about is how she’s always promised she’ll take me on a hike one day and carry me if she has to…imagining being on her back piggy-back style, listening to her sniffling and feeling her body move up and down as she hitches and sniffles and swipes at her poor runny nose. i can’t even imagine her Actually sneezing while carrying me like that without it setting off some sneezing of my own, which of course i’d have no choice but to muffle into her neck
#been losing my fucking mind all week with her updates and now she’s still all messed up from the pollen despite being back for days now#and it’s making me crazy#she’s so so cute#gf obs#perks of being disabled are that she has to carry me while she’s sneezy and won’t be able to get to her nose poor thing#poor thing (she says while giggling)
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I'm so sad
#my gf and i were going to adopt this little puppy we named mango but it would've been mostly my gfs dog since she works at home#and would spend more time with the puppy since i have a 9 to 5 job#last friday she decided not to keep it since it felt a little overwhelming and she has a lot of things going on with her life#i never wanted a dog on the first place but i grew attached to this dog since he is perfect#like really perfect#and I've been so sad since she told me#i spent 2 days mostly crying#it's like I'm grieving for this little puppy who is going to forget me in 3 days time#he is getting adopted inside the family though but I feel so empy inside#well that's all i wanted to say#thank you for reading me#I'll go cry a little now#missing my little mango#personal
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My neighbor tanner called the cops and is filing an insurance claim about this white scratch on his car
#val.txt#Val.jpeg#I just need to show everyone because it’s so funny#when the cop came I said sorry he’s wasting ur time w this his names tanner and he owns a bmw so u know the type#and she went. mmm.#also acab but in this situation I was kissing some ass#yeah also#names tanner#owns a bmw#his gf used to be my friends friend. no one can be around her since she started dating this guy because he’s a real pos#he bought a gun and brought it into the house without telling my friend who lived there at the time#lost it on her when she got mad#is constantly screaming at his gf#I’m p sure unemployed because he’s ALWAYS home#literally. stalks me through his ring doorbells like he watches me on them#I have confirmation on this#his gf got a cat and knowingly let it give my friends cat giardia#her and tanner would then leave for days without telling my friend without doing anything to take care of the cat#she always did it because she cares about the cat duh#the gf moved him in without asking#the cat would shit all over and they wouldn’t clean it. leaving my friend to either live in filth or clean it#he did not pay rent. refused to. my friend like begged and he didn’t#then bought a bmw#me parking in our lot has been an issue because no matter how I park he says there isn’t space and he should be able to park diagonal#he said it’s because he knew I was gonna hit his car#this is me hitting his car#anyway#I just need to shoe everyone because YOU CALLED THE COPS FOR THIS???#bad neighbors
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i think ive come to that point where thsc's still on my mind only because of copperright and carrings... and rave tbh. other ships do not appeal to me as much at all but whenever someone has some aroace hcs with them my ears perk up. im listening.
#ALSO aro wilson on my mind forever. gf has been showing particular willow n wilson arts where they're both silly and that's the ship art i-#like of them.... otherwise i do not see the appeal with anyone with wilson zamn. silly art 90% guaranteed to make me like the ship#and fem-aligned henry being sapphic with ellie. my mind exploded after a twt post that made me go. huh. what if fem henry.#shoutout to shark for sharing all about copperight i fucking love waking up to more each day HFSKJFS#having both dst and thsc on the mind i thought it'd be hell but its actually extremely comforting i lov it#being latched onto just 1 thing for so long was not healthy for me at all Help . dst making me better (worse. don't play this game.)#ive spent about 30+ bucks on the game already#huh i didn't say that#totally didn't buy more winona skins
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rip peskyavs but any thoughts on the mikko trade?? miss when u used to hockeypost :(
the WHAT
him ????? THE MOOSE ??????
#haven't been keeping up w/ hockey too much on account of my main team bears The Curse and it's hard to keep investing so much hope into that#after a while. and if my beautiful latino butch gf auston “big papi” matthews isn't leading the league in goals then honestly what is#the fucking point !!! we are currently witnessing the second most fraudulent rocket richard race of our time ... but that's for another day#anyway if i had a nickel for everytime a franchise traded one of their handsomest and most widely beloved players who was also a cornerston#of their highly (!!!) unprecedented 2022 championship in exchange for a couple of role players who haven't won shit#Well. lets jusr say#fuck shit fuck my stupid avs and dubs fan life#literally who has it worse than me bro 😭😭😭#ok I mean probably a lot of fanbases do actually tbh#in terms of like playoff success and stuff but#in terms of trade angst#ive definitely been having a Year#lemon it's january#ok i got it mikko and freddie to the leafs in free agency who says no (they do probably but a girlboy can dream)#auston gets his gf back and willy gets another european diva to queen out with ... everyone wins !#but in all seriousness does no one find it at the very least a little curious how the canes keep landing all these 'blockbuster' deals#that almost never result in an extension?#they traded bunts for guentzel who walked and I can't remember who the last big name they had before that was#also no employer of one or multiple staal brothers has any respect of mine#well those are my thoughts anon hope that answers ur question lol. and ur right i do need to hockeypost more i miss it too !!!#nik's asks#nik's rants
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Blowing up got a flat tire and I have 0 moneys now
Yeagh I drew that in Walmart just now
#ARRUGHHHHHHHHHHB#salad says!#sorry for complaining but this whole situation is a mess#i got a flat because i cant fill ny tires up on ny own because it hurts a lot#then i asked ny dad for help getting air ao he didnt have to worry about paying me back the full 200 from his dogs vet bill#and then he just. never did. because i sleep on ny days off. even though hes taken my van without permission before#and its been a week now thumbs up and he never did it#there goes 120 bucks. that i barely had#then i gotta make cookies for a work party because i am not doing store bought like everyone else and i asked him if we had ingredients#and HE NEVER TOLD ME!!!! so i am having to waste a lot of money guessing#on top of that for the past couple months hes told me nonstop not to gwt anything for him for Christmas and now 5 days before Christmas hes#like - can you buy me this thing that costs 160 bucks like NO!!! i already got you something and i font have the money#he isnt even going to get me anything he refuses to even look wt me#and this is all after last night he told me he hasnt been even giving hexum (dog) the proper dosage of his medicine wnd yesterday he just .#didnt.#like do you want the dog youve told me you love more than me to have another seizure and die???#at least make a freaking effort. and the reason why i had to take him to the vet is because he WOULDNT#he has 2 seizures back to back while he was off work and didnt care!!!!!!!!!!!#then he had a third so i took him and ye made a huge deal out of it not mattering#sorry this week has been a lot#vent#i just want yo say this was all after his stupid gf left the front door wide open and murr went missing for nearly 6 days and he#yelled at me for being upset abd sad and he didnt even bother to help
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still reeling over the fact that almost 2 months ago the guy i was talking to (not dating, but definitely 'seeing') took another girl TO MY AND MY ROOMMATE'S APARTMENT to FUCK HER ON OUR AIR MATTRESS while i was ON VACATION THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY
honestly. how do i get myself into these situations
#followed by him being blackout drunk sleeping on our DOORSTEP the very next day#he said he thought it was weird i said i liked him so soon into meeting him#but he would constantly say shit like 'falling for you more now' and 'my friend told my sister i have a new gf now'#like OKAY HOMEBOY#so dude it's so fucked i'll give more details in these tags in case anyone cares for a lil more context#before my trip back to california for sdcc i talked to him#said hey i know we're not dating but while im gone for almost 2 weeks are we gonna mess around with other people? like where is ur head#he said 'you can sleep with other people because you have a higher sex drive than me but i won't be doing that but you go ahead'#and im like okay weird response but okay cool#before i ended up leaving actually i did end up hooking up w someone and when i came back to my apartment he said 'looks like someone had a#'fun night' but he said it like....in a salty fucking way and i was like ur not allowed to be mad bc you refuse to be in a relationship wit#me despite me LETTING YOU LIVE WITH ME AND MY BFF FOR THE LAST ALMOST MONTH#oh yeah that part too#he was evicted and was staying with us for a few nights that turned into almost a month#NO he did not pay rent YES he did eat all our food#YES im an idiot for not seeing his red flags sooner but i was infatuated#so anyway my friend goes 'he's salty you fucked another dude' and im like excuse me how the fuck is he gonna be mad when WE TALKED ABOUT TH#*THIS#now granted it was a day before my trip so it wasn't ON my trip that i slept with someone else#but im like. how are u gonna be mad im gonna go enjoy myself when you've made it painfully clear you want me but want 0 strings#so anyway while im in california my bff calls me like hey dude john is on our air mattress naked with another girl#i was like excusethefuckME#because 1. he wasn't supposed to be at our apartment anymore so i was surprised he was there at ALL#and 2. how are u gonna ever be living RENT FREE with someone and INVITE SOMEONE ELSE OVER TO FUCK IN THEIR PLACE#i could honestly go on but i doubt anyone read this far as it is#this situation has fucked me up#first red flag should've been his name being JOHN
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i hate my man roommate and his bitch girlfriend so much
#my gf and i needed a roommate and one of our friends needed a place so it was like omg! perfect#he neglected to tell us until after we signed the lease that he had gotten back together with his ex gf who hates us bc ‘we want him’#(we r lesbians.)#but he fucking tracks dirt all over the house even though we’ve told him multiple times to please take his shoes off at the door#he took over what was supposed to be MY office (bc i have a hybrid job)#and now he just plays video games in there all day#but like. i don’t even wanna go out there to use MY bathroom#bc this bitch has been nothing but evil and mean to my girlfriend and talked shit abt her#and this stupid motherfucker of a man just lets her and goes along with it#AND THEN HE WANTS TO SAY THAT OUR CAT IS HIS!!#YOU DONT EVEN CLEAN OUT HIS LITTERBOX WHEN WE’RE GONE FOR THE WEEKEND BRUH#YOU NEGLECTED RHAT SHIT#grrrrrrrrrrrr#it just makes me so upset and i hate that this happened in a house that i would otherwise love#anyways sorry rant over#last time i ranted abt this gf on tumblr dot com (years ago) i got called a pick me bitch#so don’t call me a pick me bitch this time guys please#i do not want this man i am not attracted to men 😭😭 i just want to feel comfortable in my house#and like i don’t have to mother a 20 year old man
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nosy anon again making a return because i think what my brain did was read that i helped find some kind of writing and then did not fully process what the writing was?? but upon rereading i am very intrigued if you ever get the urge to share i will be all eyes/ears/senses required to enjoy things!!
I GET TO DO WIP WEDNESDAYYYYYY!!! the writing exists mostly in the form of a tag (fantastic! 'verse) and also a thirty-two page doc of snippets and planning, so the sense you will be using most is imagination:
don't think i have ever actually formally written out anything about fantastic! 'verse but! the tl;dr of it is that it's a semi-college au: joel is still a hockey player for the lv phantoms, but morgan is a college student-athlete. it's incredibly relevant to the plot that joel falls in love with morgan in the check-out line of a wegman's, lies a little bit, and ends up going back to get his degree.
most of it is just good fun about college kids growing up, but i think there's a lot of parallels between making your way through a development system where traditional "success" isn't always guaranteed (ahl -> nhl, completion of higher education -> pursuit of a career) because that development system isn't always designed for you to "succeed" or have opportunities. heavy quotation marks around success because part of that struggle is learning what you want in life and how you define success. are your dreams achievable? are they still the same dreams you always used to have? it's infinite branching universes of would you still love me if i was a worm (ahl player forever) (a college dropout) (a college graduate) (older) (realizing the fallibility of your body) (uncertain of the future) (human).
silly little snippet:
#do i LOVE this snippet no we're still workshopping but i felt like y'all needed context for why it's fantastic! 'verse#and i can't link ash's tweet because. priv nor can i link kay or jos' replies so this is me saying Just Trust Me the tweet is this scene#anon the gift keeps on giving. i get to gab i get to be nosy the world is ideal i am here for it#does it count as wip wednesday if the w in question has been ip for four (?) years?#liv in the replies#HI THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO GO OUT WHEN I FIRST GOT IT BUT I MISSED WEDNESDAY SO I HAD TO WAIT A WHOLE WEEK TO HIT IT AGAIN#BECAUSE I GOT EXCITED ABOUT DOING THE DAYS OF THE WEEK wip wednesday#you know the one oh i LOVE this part audio? that's me any time somebody asks me questions i am SO inclined to share.#one time somebody made a comparison about the blog and walking through a garden and it made me weepy i can't even lie#ALSO I SAW YOUR OTHER ASK i am in the trenches about whether i want to post it or not i did also go look and see her morgan posting in 2019#and maybe she is the same girlfriend?? maybe they broke up and got back together?? maybe she just cleaned up her vsco??? SO confused#(the debate is for all the reasons you mentioned lol it's just me deciding how Public you have to be before i think i want to paper doll yo#into my narratives? in a public forum because i would absolutely dm/gc/etc where there's no chance she could see or be involved#(as if she is on tumblr) but also figuring out how much i let into the sandbox. To Me things like the edm polycule or including wags can be#interesting within the narratives and sometimes i just pretend they don't exist! right now i am intrigued by the fact of whether or not#i invented a girlfriend (???) for morgan but she really doesn't fit into my narratives in a fun/interesting way besides that#and i don't want to spread misinfo if i DID invent this other girlfriend. rip morgan's imaginary (??) gf although i KNOW there was one#with the artsy vsco claw marks on his back. i promise!!! maybe it was just her!!!#fantastic! 'verse#i have better snippets i promise this au is funny it also features like. all of the 2019-2020 flyers because that's when i started writing#AND probably ten of those 32 pages are plans for a sequel/companion about isaac ratcliffe my beloved 😭#don't think too hard about who is actually playing on the flyers or draft orders without people. EYE know who is still on the team#but i did not do the math shenanigans to figure out who replaced people like morgan or scooty loots. vibes only no PP units
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finally getting a chance to work on chapter 15 today :-)
#shout out AS ALWAYS to people leaving comments!!!! you are keeping me motivated you are keeping the dream alive#for some behind the scenes: in the last few weeks i've been barely sleeping and it makes it very hard to write or even be in a good mood#i usually need 11+ hours to function and so like. 2-3 hours a night is putting me in a bad place both mentally and physically#and yes i realize 11 or more hours is like a silly amount of sleep but idk. it's just how i am. i go to bed early AND sleep in ahaha.#i've been falling behind in all my classes due to the sleep thing so writing for fun has totally been off the table lol#ANYWAYS#typing typing typing (this chapter will be a lighthearted one)#we all need some fluff and levity i think (and i need to give time for Riku to care for Sora even more and be like. wow. i love you)#I was struggling earlier bc i wanted to write both about how Sora has been hiding darkness from loved ones and needs to let them in#but also with the idea of sora feeling that he needs friends to have strength or value. and i kind of realized i needed to pick one#like maybe a better writer than me could have both of those things be addressed at once but for me i was like... I want Riku to comfort him#which goes against him learning that he's fine on his own. we can address that in a different fic. rn he is just sad and needs to know#that he can share that with the people around him. and that he's still loveable despite it all#also shout out to my gf for teaching me “love isn't something you deserve that's not what love is” like. i did not know that b4 her#so I asked her lots of questions for chapter 14 actually cause I was like. i want Riku to support Sora in the way you'd support me#cuz IDK SHIT ABOUT THAT i have always felt unworthy of love and like i had to beg people to stay with me until i got into this relationship#so i was like. judy. what is your wisdom. how do you care for me when i feel like my pain makes me unloveable. what would you say#So yeah shout out to her! I am off on a tangent now hehe sorry. thanks for reading if you read this at all!! have a good day :)#jtsys fic#updates
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man i missed ot 🥲
#vivitalksot#tonight after the pase de micros the two girls who were the most critizised were crying (tho for me they were one of the best???)#and the rest tried to comfort them#and after dinner another guy started crying cause he missed his gf and everyone comforted him and cried with him#and after a while they decided to go to the practice room and play some music and sing and dance to evade their sadness#and one of the girls who was critizised the most earlier sung her song and the rest pretended to be their fans and she looked so happy 😭😭#operación triunfo the only reality tv ever#it really is my safe place <3#this year i'm not watching it as much as other editions (i say this when the program has been on for exactly. 3 days)#and still. i love all 16 kids i don't want anyone to leave :(
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little brothers and their will to #slay, man </3
#while yes yes this post technically does apply to the simp bros i wanna cry about my own bro in the tags so you have been warned~?#so to start off my monthly existential crisis rant i just wanna say that… i’m so so soo envious of my bro. like to a really unhealthy extent#he’s tall enough to reach the top shelves. i can barely touch them if i jump. he has so many friends and even a gf. i have 0 irl friends.#he is able to sit in one spot and focus on his studies. i can’t even sit down for a full half hour to *eat* without getting up to take a nap#he’s learning how to drive. i can’t. he was admitted into university. i wasn’t. he’s able to find what he likes and stick to it. i can’t.#like mannn. he thrived in the course he chose in tertiary education while i lost my passion for it in the middle of my first year.#he’s good at picking up everything he tries (puzzle cubes; bball; you name it he’s good at it) while i’m just. bad at everything i try lol#he’s very good at his studies (aside from languages) and sports. i’m not good at anything at all.#he gets told that he has a great sense of humour. i’m just. boring and annoying. lolllll#he’s super sociable and he has good relations with pretty much every single family member (sans me). i’m not in contsct with most of the fam#heck he was pretty much the favourite from the moment he was born. his baby pics still get brought up from time to time bc of how cute he is#(granted it’s bc he looks like a bby m*ch*l*n man (like the tire company mascot) and he’s super cute in them but still)#and he’s also a guy and content with being a guy which is just… not fair y’knowwww~~~ asian family boy biases and all (cries)#our father pretty much cast me aside once my bro was old enough to hang with him. and even before then the bias was as clear as day. >:(((((#i make the dude mad? i get screamed at and whaccced. bro gets the dude mad? he gets a lesson on how to throw punches instead!!! like wow!!!!#he’s the only one who got to escape any direct physical harm from the guy and yet!!!! he was the 1st one to be singled out for trauma focus#idk if it’s bc of his age back then or whattttt but i can’t believe i had to friggin’ ask my therapist back then for a trauma assessment :(#2015 was a different time… my bro managed to succeed in school while i was rejected from the drama club for being too depressed :((((#but i’m sure my bro has his own share of struggles… and i’m glad that he has a few groups of friends to chill with. really.#but i just can’t help feeling extremely envious of him. i could never tell him any of this though we hardly talk at home lol#and he pretends not to know me when i approach him in public lmfaoooo. i don’t blame him though; i’d do the same if i were to approach me#so yeah. if you read this i’m sorry for being cringefail and bad at everything~~ am i still allowed to pollute your dash~? <3#and also. idk if i’ll be able to continue sischange over this week bc i’ll be handling 2 workstations by meself :( and idk how tired i’ll be#but we’ll see ok~? sorry for having zero time management skills am i still qualified to be a legit adult~?#sunday’s 🧂saltfest🧂
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#being aroace is harder than any us marine or whatever the saying is#sorry. just having a little issue tonight. <-wants so badly to love gf in the way she expresses love but has been trying for a month to get#myself to lean into it and the second i go more than 3 days without onslaught affection i revert back to being icked abt it#dr phil voice thank you for that.................#AAAARRUUGHHHHHHH NO BUT LIKE . im typing normal about it on here. but in reality it makes me want to rip my hair out and burn myself.#im so mad. being aroace is all fun and games until i realize its inhibiting me from forming happy relationships with anyone whos not aroace#uunnGHHHHHHHHHHH#m.
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i am turning two years old twice very soon
#my way of saying i am turning 22#you are all invited :) this year will be kind i think...my last birthday made me realize that not all birthdays are so bad#and sometimes it is nice to be celebrated so long as its with those i love and they get to be celebrated too#i am very shy so being the center of attention has always been stressful for me..but intimate birthdays are so sweet#esp if its just another day but with cake and some gifts i can share with those i care about#my gf got me candy and a beautiful journal last year...we split the candy and she doodled in my journal which made me so happy
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i am the nosy anon from yesterday and firstly i am so glad that i helped you find something!! how wonderful!! secondly i did some digging (typed morgan frost girlfriend into the tumblr.com search bar which is really what i probably should have done in the first place so. my bad) and the girlfriend is called taylor!
conclusion to the saga, thank you anon!!! sharing this for the sake of anyone else who was curious… they are as of july 7 dating lmao BUT allow me some points for accuracy here because taylor is definitely a different person than who i was thinking of 🤡
#xoxo THANK YOU found her immediately and she is also a public insta content influencer so i have no qualms about posting her name#she’ll appreciate the site traffic. i also was fully capable of searching tumblr & simply did not even think of it lmao but!!! win is a win#nosy enjoyers UNITE 🫶 this reminds me of the time when i was like i KNOW anna and mo are dating way before it was official#and to this day that’s probably one of the most unhinged red string series of screenshots and evidence timelines i’ve created as legitimate#theories i believe. and we were RIGHT.#also the wag content today has been superior because dylan and kenzy just released bts wedding pictures from last year… gorgeous#and chloe and scott stealing the show at sanny’s wedding… katie making yorke dance… i don’t want to get philosophical with it because#i already kinda broached it so i will simply say: good for them in my paper doll brain may it be influenced or not by reality#these guys are all just little dudes i’ve made up in my head. where’d the tags about borde go that say that 😭 you’ll also see in next ask#liv in the replies#morgan frost#<- is relevant by virtue of having a girlfriend and by being my cringe fail weed gf i love and care about#anyway in nosy(affectionate) fashion i think they started dating in late march &p sure frosty got single in jan/feb so there’s the timeline#i am willing to admit when i am wrong!! don’t know if she couldn’t make it to the wedding or more likely frosty was not given a +1 (v fair)
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Doing this because it makes me happy •Ꮂ•. Im making it difficult on all of you though.
1 note- I'll go drink water
10 notes - I'll set alarms to actually care for myself
50 notes - set up a daily productivity system so I stop wasting my time doing nothing.
100 notes - ask my friends to help me buy a skirt
500 notes - get a bra & a whole bunch of other affirming clothing !!!
1k - tell my dad that my gf is also trans
2.5k - ask my dad to address me by my prefferred name & pronouns 1k went pretty poorly, so I dont feel super comfortable making an attempt on this.
5k - try to get therapy/psychologist
10k - girl mode at all times (start actively wearing makeup/clothing/doing voice training around people at all times)
50k - try for HRT (0% chance) (also no guarantee on this one)
Asfgg. It feels surprisingly good to have a bunch of strangers who want me to be happy
I have now set up alarms for eating, waking up, and hygene related stuff. I seriously doubt we get to 500, but this has made me significantly happier •Ꮂ•
Doing some math... 25 notes in 4 hours. 6.25 notes per hour. 8000 hours or 333 days until this hits 50k. Hrt in a year ig.
Um. Wow. Its been a day, and we're almost at 300. Everything 500 & below was supposed to be things I'd do with minimal intervention. But now, we're getting to the scarier stuff. I am very intimidated, but also excited
My gf really badly wanted to be here when I buy some of the clothing, so the skirt will be this week, the rest of the clothing will be when she comes back from vacation
Saying that you're force femming me is so not allowed. This is unfair. You have no right to make me feel the ways Im feelingggg. Stop making me happy.
Welp. I told him about my girlfriend. And things went about as poorly as expected. He said that Im parroting what other people think. Slowly taking little parts of them, and applying them to myself. Specifically, being trans. He didnt even leave it to maybes. He said with certainty that I was copying everyone else. I know 9 trans people total. Only 2 of them are my close friends. Everyone else, Im barely aquaintences with. I should have told him that regardless of whatever theories he has, this has boosted my confidence massively. Slightly less excited for 2.5k notes. At least everything after that is very positive. And at least this lets me talk about my girlfriend for ages. I dont have to say her deadname through gritted teeth. Oh context. He already knows Im trans but was ignoring it.
I GOT A SKIRT!!!!!
Thank all of you so much. At first when I got the skirt, I was pretty intimidated by the idea of showing my legs. I thought everyone will just see me as a man. But there's a degree of confidence you all have given me. Yeah. Im pretty. Yeah, Im beautiful even. Yeah. Its a friggin fantastic skirt. And anyone who thinks otherwise is dumb. Im happy, and thats what matters.
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