#my friend took this photo this was back when i had a professional photographer using me as a photo lab rat ie a time I LOVED

[quannaix]

this photo of me exactly ten years ago crying and weeping that I'm not still connetced to the friend of a friend who owned these legs imagine the looks I could do with them today

[tkwrites]

Happy Birthday, Quinn - Quinn Hughes x ofc

Title: Happy Birthday, Quinn - Quinn Hughes x ofc

Author: Tory / @tkwrites 

Relationship: Quinn Hughes x Sarah Roberts

Summary: In an effort to get Quinn something he can’t get for himself, and with her friends’ encouragement, Sarah does something she never imagined she’d do before. When they finally celebrate his birthday together, Quinn opens several gifts he never expected. 

Warnings: It’s mostly fluff, but there is some anxiety about being in new, uncomfortable situations and some suggestive themes, but no actual smut.

Word Count: 2,700

Comments: Happy birthday to Quinn! 

I’ve been working on this piece for quite a long time. At least six months, tweaking it here and there to get the right themes and wording. I saved it for Quinns birthday because I can’t think of a better day for it to come into the world.

If you enjoyed this, please let me know by commenting, reblogging, or sending in an ask. Your encouragement and comments truly inspire me to keep writing. 

Happy Birthday, Quinn

A Quinn & Sarah Snapshot

“What do you give the guy who can get whatever he wants?” Sarah asked.

Emma paused, thoughtful. She knew what she would get Brady, but while they were best friends, he and Quinn were so different. 

“What if you gave him some photos?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Like a boudoir shoot or something. So he can have some really great pictures of you while he’s on the road.” 

Sarah felt herself flush. 

“It’s just an idea,” Emma emphasized. “Is there any lingerie he really likes?” 

“Not really,” she started, then it came to her, “there is this bikini he kind of went wild over this summer.” 

“Perfect,” Emma beamed. “You could do a beach photoshoot for him.” 

“I don’t know… Are you sure it's something he would even like?”

Emma gave her a deadpan look over the FaceTime connection even as she adjusted the baby. “You have a boyfriend who travels away from you for weeks at a time. You don't think he'd like having some pretty pictures of you while he's gone?” 

Sarah snorted, “okay. I get it. But where do I even start with that? Just have my roommates take some pictures?” 

“No!” Emma laughed, “ask one of the wives or girlfriends. They’ll know some photographers that will keep things quiet so it can be a little more professional.” 

Just as Emma predicted, when Sarah called Bella the next day, she did know someone.

As they discussed details, she even suggested they could go to her Uncles’ to use the beach across the street from their house. 

“Are you joking?” Sarah asked. “He’d have my hide if I showed up to take bikini photos for my boyfriend.”

Bella laughed and said she had some friends with private beaches and would get back to her if they could use one of theirs. 

When she called back just a few hours later, Sarah was a little surprised. 

“Thanks so much for your help with this,” she said.

“Of course. I love you, and I love Huggy, and I love finally seeing him really happy.” 

After they set up the details, including Bella booking a hair stylist and a makeup artist, which Sarah thought was a little extreme, Bella asked, “Do you want me and Meghan to come for moral support?” 

“That would be really nice,” Sarah said, breathing a sign of relief. “I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing here. I'm just trying to give Quinn something he'll really like for his birthday.” 

A week later, they drove to Bella’s friend's “cottage.” It was really a mansion, but who was she to judge?

The boys were in Victoria for training camp, so it was the perfect time to sneak away.

When Sarah came out in the bikini, Bella wolf whistled. “No wonder Huggy went wild for you in this. You look insane.” she said, looking her over approvingly. “He’s going to lose his mind over these photos.”

It took a long time for Sarah to feel comfortable. She felt too on display - too exposed, and like she was pretending to be something she wasn’t. She wasn’t a model. She didn’t know how to pose for photos or turn on sex appeal at the drop of a hat. 

As if sensing how stuck in her head she was, Meghan offered some support.

“Sarah,” she said, walking down the beach to her, “you’re taking photos for a man that’s already head over heels for you. No one else is going to see them but you and him - and us very briefly.”

She nodded, feeling a little better. She was doing this for Quinn. She could do this for Quinn. 

Taking the photographers advice, she posed and made eye contact with the camera. 

“There you go,” Bella encouraged. 

“Rock more onto your knees,” Heather, the photographer, instructed. “Good. Chin up a bit? Great. Now give me some of those sexy bedroom eyes.” 

Sarah pushed her hesitations aside, thought about Quinn on the other side of that camera, and tried to convey how much she wanted him. 

“Hot damn!” Meghan yelled. “You’ve got me hot and bothered, Sarah. Quinn doesn’t stand a chance.” 

Her exclamation sent Sarah into a fit of giggles that took her quite a while for her to come down from.

Once she’d stopped laughing and settled back into the situation, they got a ton more photos, including a few of her, Bella and Meghan, the latter two in their street clothes, while Sarah still sported her bikini, laughing as the surf swirled around their ankles. 

Not for the first time, Sarah understood how being a WAG really could be a support group. 

They spent the evening of his birthday together at home, ordering in from Quinn's favorite restaurant. 

By the time they got to opening gifts, Sarah was feeling nervous and giddy. She left a small pile of presents on the table in front of the gray suede couch along with a bouquet of flowers because “men hardly ever get flowers, but you like them.” It was full of frothy looking, multi colored blooms mixed with greenery. He found he did like them. No one had ever given him flowers before.

He opened a set of cufflinks shaped like tiny bombs. They were attached to a card that read, Love is the Bomb. It made him laugh, and he told her, truthfully, that he loved them. 

“They’re made from recycled landmines cleared out of Laos from the Vietnam War,” she explained. “I know you really liked that Fields of Fire book. I thought you might like the connection,” she added. 

“That’s really cool,” he said, touched. He rarely wore french cut dress shirts, but now that he had a pair of unique cufflinks, maybe he would wear the ones he did have a little more. 

“Thank you,” he said, leaning over to press a kiss to her lips. 

“You’re welcome.”

Then, he unwrapped a vibrator. 

Raising one eyebrow, he told her, “I don’t think this is a gift for me.” 

“Let me explain,” she said, reaching for the box. 

She worked the hot pink, U-shaped device out of the packaging and turned it on. “It’s bluetooth and app enabled,” she said, pulling out her phone so she could connect the devices.

“Okay.” 

“Give me your phone,” she said, holding out her hand. 

He did, and she put in the code to unlock it before downloading an app — she had to hand it back to him to approve the purchase — and linking his phone to the toy.

“Now, anytime I turn it on and connect my phone, it’ll send you an alert.” 

“Okay.”

“And then you can control it.”

Realization lit his face, “oh, so I could be across the room or something?” 

“Or across the country,” she said with a mischievous grin. 

“Wait. For real?” 

Sarah nodded. “The reviews from long distance couples are all really good.”

“I wish we had it this summer,” he said, picking up the toy. It whirred to life in his palm when he tapped the button on his phone.

“That’s what gave me the idea.”

An eager expression took over his face. “Can we go try it?”

“Hold on, Romeo, I have one more gift for you.”

Tearing his eyes from the buzzing pink contraption, Quinn found Sarah biting her lip and looking at him, unsure. He’d never seen her so nervous. He wondered if she might be getting ready to do some kind of strip tease. 

Excitement fizzed in his stomach. 

Instead, she reached behind her, pulling out a small silver picture frame.  

“What’s this?” he asked, taking it from her. It held blank black glass.

“It’s a digital picture frame,” she explained. “It’s not so much the gift as what’s on it.” 

Quinn felt his eyebrows knit together. “I don’t understand.” 

“Just,” she reached over and held down the power button. 

An involuntary noise, something between a gasp and a groan, gurgled in Quinn's throat when the frame booted up. 

It showed Sarah, on the beach in that fucking black bikini, posing like she was on the cover of a magazine. She was laughing as she swept her wind blown hair away from her face. 

All those intense, lusty feelings from the cabin crashed over him. It wasn't as good as the real thing, of course, but God, if it didn't make him feel things.

“Sarah,” his voice sounded breathy - shallow and needy.

The photo faded into another. Still, that goddamn bikini, still the beach, but a different pose. This time, she was sporting a cocky smile, like she knew he would like it. 

He did. He couldn’t believe it. 

The slideshow continued on, all of the photos were on the same beach, in the same bikini. In some, she was standing, others laying down. There was even a short, looping video, or live photo, or whatever it was, of her crawling toward the camera - never breaking eye contact. 

His tongue felt weighted with longing. 

When the last photo de-pixelated, his eyes blew wide. 

Holy. 

Fuck.

She was kneeling in the sand, knees spread as the water raced up the beach around her.

She had this sultry look in her eyes as they looked straight into his soul. Her lips were parted, just slightly, as if she was waiting to be kissed. 

“I thought you could take the pictures on the road with you,” she said quietly. 

When he tore his eyes away from her face, they caught on her hand, fisted into the wet sand, almost as if she were holding herself back.

A bolt of energy rippled up his stomach, making it flutter and twist in longing.

Looking up from the frame, he met Sarah's eyes and blinked a few times, trying to pull himself back to the present.

“I hope It's not too cheesy or anything,” she said shyly. The photos were returned long before Quinn's birthday came around, and Sarah blushed every time she looked at them. She had no idea she could look like that. It was proof that the right photographer, lighting, and positioning could do wonders. 

“It's…” His voice croaked, and he had to clear his throat. This was honestly something he never would have expected from Sarah. 

He cleared his throat again. “It's - I don't even know what to say,” he confessed. 

“That bad?” she asked, voice hesitant  

“No!” It came out too loud. “It’s — fuck.” He ran a hand into his hair. He didn't know what to say. He was in shock. “I mean, I can't believe…” 

“You're not making any sense.”

He didn’t have enough blood in his brain to reason properly.

Finally, he managed to get his thoughts in order. “I love it. It's like you gave me my own Swimsuit Edition, except it’s you instead of some model I don't care about.”

Her shoulders relaxed. 

“Were you worried I wouldn't like it?” 

“No, not really. Like, I knew objectively you would, but I've never done anything like this before.” 

The fact that she did it for him burrowed into his heart and rioted around his mind.

“I was a little surprised,” he admitted.

“Emma suggested it,” Sarah confessed. 

Quinn made a mental note to tell her thank you.

The shock of the photos pulled his mind completely from everything else. He didn’t even notice Sarah had picked up the vibrator, turned it off, and nestled it back into its box. 

“Do you want some dessert?” she asked, standing. “I got some of those chocolate from Gem you like.” Normally, she would have bought him a cake, but he tried not to eat carbs during the season. So fruit and chocolate would have to do.

Beaming, Quinn pulled her into his lap, “you’re spoiling me.”

“You deserve to be spoiled on your birthday,” she said, turning to brush her lips over his. 

He fell into the kiss, glad to finally be touching her. 

“So what do you think about that dessert?” she asked when he broke away to nuzzle his nose under her ear.

Quinn sucked in a deep breath of her perfume before blowing on her neck, making her squirm. “I think I have dessert right here,” he murmured, tightening his grip on her waist. 

She snorted. 

His hands wandered up to her chest, feeling the curves of her breasts in his palms. “What kind of chocolate did you get?” he asked. 

“A few,” she said, leaning into him, “I got that dark mint one you liked, and the rum one, and some new ones. I don’t really remember. I’m pretty sure one has peanut butter.” They’d discovered the chocolate shop while wandering the city together. Made with all local, organic ingredients, they were delicious, and though not necessarily healthy, it was better for Quinn to eat a few pieces of chocolate than cake. “I’ll go get them.”

Coming back upstairs with the chocolates, Sarah slid the open box onto the table. Quinn was looking at the picture frame again, shaking his head gently as if he couldn’t believe it. 

“Here, I think this one is pistachio,” she said, picking up a chocolate with green stripes on the top, “or maybe it's matcha?” 

He took a bite of the proffered candy, his eyes fluttering closed at the sweet and salty flavor. 

“Pistachio,” she declared after putting the rest of it in her mouth and licking off the chocolate that had melted on her fingers. 

He hummed in agreement, eyes caught on her tongue. 

“Oh, before I forget,” she pulled a USB drive from her pocket and handed it to him.

“What’s this?” 

“The pictures are on that.” 

A relieved breath escaped his lips. 

“You didn’t think I was just going to make you take that frame around, did you?”

“I don’t know," he said, laughing, "I didn’t think...” 

“You can put them on your phone or whatever,” she said. 

“Can I…” he paused, mentally looping through slideshow again, “do you mind if I use them as my phone background?”

“They're your gift, and it's your phone,” Sarah said instead of voicing her concern that someone other than him might catch a glimpse of her like this. She trusted that Quinn wouldn’t go around showing them off to other people. 

She picked up the mint chocolate and took a bite. When she offered him the other half, he took her fingers in his mouth to get every sweet drop. 

A week later, Quinn, Conor, and Brock were at a restaurant in Winnipeg. Each of them had their phone face up on the table in front of their dinner plate.

Quinns screen lit up. 

“You didn’t turn off your notifications? Rookie mistake Hughes.” 

Quinn scoffed, “it doesn’t count if you turn off your notifications.” 

“Of course it counts,” Conor argued.

“Why would you touch your phone if it’s not going off, dipshit?”

“I think he’s got a point,” Brock admitted with a defeated sigh. 

“Do you have yours off too?” Quinn asked. 

Brock shrugged. 

“You have to turn them back on. We have to be on a level playing field here.”

The other men reached for their phones, grumbling. 

Quinn’s went off again as they put theirs back down. 

“Is that Sarah?” Conor asked, craning his neck to look at the photo.

“Yeah, why?” he asked, resisting the urge to pick it up. Whoever touched their phone first had to pay for dinner. 

The lock screen was the photo of Sarah laughing, trying to tame her hair as it blew in the wind. 

After looking through all the pictures several times, Quinn had decided this was his favorite. He could almost hear her laughing whenever he saw it. Plus, he didn’t want anything too racy where anyone else could see it. He kept those for himself. 

“Is that the photoshoot Meg helped her with?” 

“I don’t know?” he said. “She did it for my birthday.” It felt a little like bragging – which he was, if he was honest with himself – to say it out loud.  

“Yeah, that’s it,” Brock said. “Bells told me about it during training camp. She and Meg helped Sarah set it up.”

“Oh,” Quinn said, not quite sure what else to say. The fact that she’d reached out for help so she could do this for him, even when she was uncomfortable, meant the world to him. 

“I wish Meg’d taken bikini photos for me while they were at it,” Conor mumbled. 

Quinn felt a smile beam over his face. 

“You are one lucky man, Huggy.”

Want more Quinn & Sarah? Check out the Snapshots Masterlist

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[youunravelme]

the worst wing-woman

author's note: just like all my other fics, we are existing in an alternate plane where tito was never traded. also i've never worked for the nhl, so i have no idea how accurate being a photographer is but guess what. idgaf. also sorry for the amount of italics in this fic, i have no self control apparently. and shoutout to my new friend @dani746 for helping me with this monstrosity.

summary: you've been in love with mat barzal for as long as you can remember, so what do you do when he asks for your help to win over your friend?

pairing: mat barzal x islanders photographer!reader

warnings: cursing and low self esteem

despite working for the isles for two years now, you still got nervous walking into work.

you weren't a stranger to the team, some of them you knew quite well. anders and marty being two players you were friendly with (mainly due to the fact that you were somewhat friendly with their wives). but there was always one player who eluded you, who you'd only ever had professional interactions with.

mathew barzal.

and it shouldn't be surprising, you were a measly photographer whereas he was the star player of his team, the winner of the calder trophy, an nhl heartthrob. why should he pay attention to you?

media day was one of your favorite days, mainly because it was the closest you ever got to holding full conversations with him. not that the conversations went anything beyond "look right here" or "great job, mat."

you didn't even think he knew your name.

the longest conversation you had with him consisted of him asking to see the photos you took and patting you on your back when he liked what he saw before he went off to talk to tito.

"you having a good day?" you nearly jumped a foot in the air when your staring was cut off by anders walking up to you.

"yeah," you said when your heartbeat returned to normal. "just busy is all." you held your camera up as if that was enough of an explanation.

anders nodded. "any of the boys giving you a hard time?"

you shook your head rapidly. "nope, they've all been on their best behavior."

"even barzy and beauvillier?" at the mention of their names, the duo turned their heads and locked eyes with you and anders.

you wanted to dig a hole and die in it.

"what about us?" mat asked, sauntering over with his best friend right behind him.

"you haven't been giving her a hard time, have you?" anders crossed his arms. and if you weren't panicking at the closing distance between you and mat, you might've noticed the shared smirk between the three hockey players in front of you.

"us?" tito asked. "why would you think that? we've only ever been angels."

before anders could ask you to corroborate tito's story, your name was called. you awkwardly waved to the three men before walking over to another set of props, ready to photograph another hockey player.

"done embarrassing yourself?" your coworker tyler asked.

you lightly shoved his shoulder. "shut up."

"seriously, you're not his type," he added. "he's not gonna go for you."

tyler might as well have stabbed you in the gut with how much his words hurt you, but you put a smile on and nodded. "yeah, i know. i know."

and you did.

you knew.

but you'd be delusional for a little while longer if it meant going to work wouldn't suck every day.

later that night, you found yourself at a bar with a group of your friends. you didn't want to go originally, but when alexa said she needed to go out to get over her ex, you felt like you had no other choice.

which is how you found yourself sipping a soda water in a booth while your friends danced and took body shots.

your gaze wandered around the bar aimlessly before you checked your phone for the time.

you'd only been there for an hour.

it took all self restraint not to bang your head against the table.

"having fun?" your head snapped up at the familiar voice only to see anthony beauvillier standing at the edge of your booth with a self satisfied smirk.

"i--"

"i didn't take you as one to go out drinking on a weeknight," he said.

you slumped into your seat. "i'm not. my friend alexa wanted to go out because her boyfriend just dumped her and she wanted a distraction."

anthony took the seat opposite of you. "and that is...?" he gestured at your drink.

"soda water," you answered. "i'm the DD for tonight."

"oof," he groaned before taking a sip of his beer. "that's rough."

you shrugged. "it's not that bad, i'd rather my friends get home safe than get drunk and show up to work hungover."

anthony nodded in a way that you'd seen other men do, the type of nod that comes right before someone looks around for someone more interesting to talk to.

"but what about you?" you rushed out, nearly tripping over your own words.

tito smiled. "what about me?"

"why're you here?"

he shrugged. "mat wanted to come out and didn't want to go out alone, so here i am."

mat.

you wanted to vomit.

"oh," you mumbled. "mat's here?"

tito nodded and gestured with his bottle to the bar. "he's over there talking to some brunette."

you followed with your eyes and when you finally locked eyes on him, you wished you hadn't.

he was talking to alexa, smiling at her the way you wished he'd smile at you.

maybe you could leave the bar and get hit by a taxi on the way out, that would be less painful than seeing the man you're in love with flirt with your friend.

"you okay?" anthony asked, nudging your leg with his foot.

you turned your gaze back to him and attempted to give him your most convincing smile. "i'm great!" you said before throwing your soda water back and coughing when the carbonation burned.

anthony didn't say a word.

when you looked back at the bar, alexa was nowhere to be found while mat was fiddling with one of his wristbands. you looked around to find alexa, thinking maybe she was in the crowd dancing or perhaps she was in line for the bathroom.

but she popped up at your table, sweaty and smiling.

"you good?" she asked before fixing her eyes on anthony who was sipping on his beer. "who's this?"

"anthony. i know him from work." tito gave her a small wave before taking another sip of his beer.

"alexa," she smiled before her attention focused back on you. "i actually met one of your coworkers, mat right?"

you forced a smile and nodded. "the one and only. what did you think?" though, to be fair, you didn't really want to know her opinion on him. not when you thought the world of him.

alexa shrugged and tossed her perfect hair over her perfect shoulder and gave a perfect smile that was a healthy balance of nonchalant and mildly interested. "he was alright, he knows he's attractive which is rather unattractive if you ask me."

tito choked on his beer while you stared in awe.

of all the words you'd use to describe mat, "alright" was not even close to the top 25.

"something funny?" alexa asked.

"nope," tito supplied, shaking his head. "nothing at all."

alexa looked at him, unconvinced, but didn't let it bother her. "i'm gonna go dance, you coming?" she asked.

you shook your head. "not really my scene."

alexa nodded and pranced off to the dance floor where the rest of your friends were grinding on strangers to the tune of some 2000s pop song.

"she's a delight," tito said.

you sighed. "she's practically miss america." you were too busy staring at her having fun to notice another person walk up to your booth until he was standing right in front of you with a question posed on the tip of his lips.

mat.

your mouth went dry at the sight of him.

"you know her?" he gestured over his shoulder to where alexa was laughing with one of your friends.

you nodded.

"are you two close?"

you shrugged.

mat sighed. "are you capable of speaking?"

tito spoke up. "mat, you just bombarded her without a single hello, chill."

mat pinched the bridge of his nose. "sorry, i just--she rejected me and i don't know why."

"you're too attractive and you know it," you blurted out before you could stop yourself. you quickly slapped a hand over your mouth like that would stop any other bullshit that might come out.

mat tilted his head and leaned in. "huh?"

"her words, not mine," you said like it would absolve you of any guilt.

"what do you mean by being 'too attractive' and 'knowing it'? how does that even make sense?"

you shrugged for what felt like the twelfth time that night. "alexa's not really into guys who are obsessed with their appearances. she just got out of a relationship with a guy like that," you explained.

mat ran a hand down his face before placing both hands on his waist. "so what do you suggest i do?" he groaned.

"i--"

he snapped his fingers and looked at you for what felt like the first time. it sent a chill down your spine that you had a problem suppressing. "can you help me?"

your mouth dropped open. "huh?"

"you're friends, right? can you help me win her over?"

you could list about a thousand other things you'd rather do. you could think of five just off the top of your head.

but he looked so earnest and willing and how could anyone possibly resist him when he looked at you like that--

"of course!" you smiled.

of course?! yes would've sufficed but now you've got him thinking you'd enjoy this. which you most certainly wouldn't.

oh who were you kidding? all attention was good attention when it came to mat barzal and you'd give anything to keep him looking at you.

"thank you!" he smiled before clapping tito on the shoulder. "ready to head out?"

anthony nodded before addressing you. "i had a nice time. see you tomorrow?"

you smiled and nodded, giving them both a small wave as they walked away. the second they were out the door, you thumped your head against the table.

playing wing-woman for mathew barzal.

what the fuck was wrong with you?

how to be a wing-woman: a guide

usually when you went to work, you kept your head down and stayed out of the way. occasionally, you'd run into anders or marty, or maybe even tito, who would say their polite hellos, but for the most part you stayed out of the way during practices.

you were looking at the photos you just took when someone banged on the glass. a quick glance (that turned into a double take) let you figure out it was mat based on the 13 on his jersey and the fact that you could pick him out of a crowd anywhere.

he waved and smiled (and you might've died inside). "can i talk to you after practice?"

you nodded frantically before gaining a semblance of self respect and slowing down.

"great! meet you outside of the locker rooms!" he said before skating away.

"what was that about?" tyler asked. you turned, not even realizing he'd made his way towards you considering you thought he was on the other side of the arena.

"what? can't i talk to the players?"

tyler laughed. actually laughed. "considering barzal has never so much as looked at you, i'd say him approaching you during practice is pretty strange."

your shoulders sunk at the weight of the truth. "if you must know," you started. "he wants to date one of my friends, so i'm helping him out."

tyler laughed again and walked away without saying another word while you scrolled through the photos you took again until practice ended.

you headed towards the locker rooms only when the last player had been off the ice for ten minutes, you didn't want to chance waiting around too long looking like an idiot.

as you waited, you made a mental note of all the editing you'd have to do when you got back to your cubicle. you got a few good shots earlier, but they'd need some tweaking before you sent them to the social media team. in fact--

"hey, what're you doing here?" you glanced up and saw anders, hair wet from whatever brief shower he took.

you shrugged, not sure if it was your place to give away mat's intentions. "just waiting around."

"for?" he pushed.

"barzy needs her to play wing-woman," tito said from over anders' shoulders. "he wants to get with her friend, but her friend isn't interested."

anders threw his head back and laughed. "barzy not getting a girl? that's fucking hilarious."

tito smirked. "tell him what your friend said" he told you.

"she doesn't like that he knows he's attractive," you mumbled.

if it was even possible, anders laughed even louder. "un-fucking-believable."

"what's so funny?" mat walked up, running a hand through his damp hair.

you said "nothing" at the same time anders asked "you got rejected, barzy?"

mat's face dropped before looking at you and tito accusingly. anthony sighed and nudged his best friend. "chill out, barz. she didn't bring it up, i did."

mat's shoulders relaxed before he punched tito in the arm. "dick," he mumbled.

anders looked between the three of you and sighed. "i don't have time for this shit," he said. "i'll see you later." and he was off down the hallway.

"so what's the plan for today?" tito asked.

"you're not included," mat said. his gaze focused on you. "can i have your number?"

you blinked. "what?"

mat laughed a little and you could feel heat and shame running up your spine. he asked you one fucking question and you had to go act like a weirdo. "so i can text you? i think we should sit down and create a strategy."

you nodded and read off your number as he typed it into his phone. "great," he gave you his megawatt smile. "i'll text you."

"okay," you breathed out as he walked away without a thought.

tito kept standing there, smirking to himself. "you're so fucked," he said.

you nodded because there was nothing else to say.

step one: talk him up

you and mat got lunch two days later on a saturday when he didn't have a game. it was rather surreal, sitting across from him in public. the delusional part of you was begging you to imagine this as a date instead of a meeting to set your friend up with mat.

when did your life turn into something so pathetic?

"okay," he started. "tell me about your friend."

you would rather do anything else.

"she just got out of a long term relationship with this guy named jared. he was a bit self absorbed which is probably why she didn't like you knowing how hot you are." you paused as the words left your mouth, ready to set yourself on fire if he reacted. but he didn't, he only leaned in closer to listen. "she uh--she likes daffodils and goes to the farmer's market at union square every saturday."

"but what's she like?" he asked. "what's her personality?"

how would you say she's the trademarked cool girl? the girl every guy wanted, that mat was one man in a long list of men who tried and failed to win her over.

"she's sweet and affectionate," you started. "she pretty girly on the outside but knows her way around a car. she grew up with three older brothers so she knows a fair bit about sports, just not hockey, but if you wanted to talk stats about football or basketball, she's your girl. in college, she held the record for fastest shotgun in her sorority."

you racked your brain for more information about your friend, but it was difficult under pressure to sum up someone you'd known since freshman year of college.

"what else?" mat asked.

"she's a bit of a partier, but knows how to settle down and just chill. she's a really good friend, like last year i dated this guy who was cheating on me the entire duration of our relationship, which i should've known about because he said he had to go on business trips all the time but he worked as a barista, and she held me while i cried for three days straight and even threatened to fuck up his car."

mat stared at you without saying anything in a way that made you want to sink into a hole, never to be seen again. "you dated a barista and thought he needed to go on business trips?"

you blinked. "that's what you got from that? me dating a shitty barista?"

he shrugged. "i heard everything else, but that was definitely the funniest part. how long did you date him?"

"six months," you replied quickly. "but that's not the point! alexa is going to play hard to get because she doesn't want anything too serious right now."

"great! neither do i!"

"but she's not a one night stand kind of girl anymore. so if you want her, you have to prove to her you can be serious enough for a relationship but not serious enough that you get clingy and overbearing and propose within six months."

mat blinked at you. "how the hell does that make sense?"

"believe me, there's a balance."

he sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "and you would know this how?"

"well i uh--" you sputtered. your nerves were only encouraged by his light chuckling. "all girls know these things! we don't want overly possessive boyfriends but we also want someone to care. it shouldn't be that hard to comprehend."

"it's not," he defended. "just a little...complicated, don't you think?"

"alexa's a complicated girl!"

he sighed and ran a hand down his face. "okay so how do i show her i mean business but that i'm not looking to settle down and get married?"

"i guess i could talk you up to her in passing conversation?"

"what would you tell her? we don't know each other very well."

"i know more than you think!"

"please, share with the class."

shit.

do you confess that in the two years you'd worked for the islanders that you watched him borderline obsessively?

"well, i know you're good with kids, if your interactions with young fans is anything to go by. you don't like dogs, which is a bit of a red flag in my book, but alexa shouldn't mind. you're a fantastic hockey player, and a great teammate."

"is that enough to convince her?"

you grimaced and shook your head. "she's a bit more personable. she one time broke up with a guy because he was rude to waitstaff. she would want to know how you treat non millionaires and authority figures. for instance, how much do you tip a server?"

"25%," he replied. "but why does that matter?"

"alexa used to be a server throughout college and couldn't stand people who she knew had money but would cheap out on the tip because she didn't greet them fast enough."

mat opened his mouth, presumably to ask another question, when his phone started ringing. "shit," he mumbled. "listen, i gotta go. it was nice talking to you, i'll be in touch." he pulled out a few twenty dollar bills and put them on the table before getting up and walking away.

you waited for the server to come back before paying the bill and told them to keep the change before you got up and walked home.

when you got back to your apartment, alexa was already standing at the door, waiting to be let in.

"finally," she said. "i was wondering when you were gonna come home."

"you could've texted me," you said while unlocking the door.

she followed you inside and shut the door behind her. "i could've, but your phone was on do not disturb for some reason, so i doubt my texts would've gone through in time. where were you anyway?"

"getting lunch with a friend from work," you replied.

alexa groaned as she all but collapsed onto your couch. "please tell me it's not tyler. i hate how he treats you."

you dropped your bag by the door and headed back to your room, but not before calling over your shoulder. "he's not that bad, he's like that to everyone!"

"doesn't make it any better!"

you changed into some comfortable clothing before joining alexa on your couch. "did you have fun the other night when we went out to the bar?"

alexa looked at you weirdly.

shit. you must not have been as subtle as you thought.

"i did," she said. "but what makes you ask."

you shrugged. "i know it's been rough with your breakup lately, but i saw you talking to mat and you looked happy."

alexa groaned and sunk into the couch. "i thought we talked about this already. he knows he's attractive, it's such a turn off. you should've seen the way he was talking, it was like he knew that if he gave me a look, i'd be going home with him."

"well he's really nice, i promise! you should see him with kids at the stadium--"

"you mean the kids who idolize him? yeah i bet he's real nice to them."

okay, switch strategies.

"he tips waitstaff really well!"

"with what he makes? he better." alexa sighed. "listen, i'd be more impressed if he could tell me anything about you, but seeing as you've worked there for two years and he couldn't tell me anything other than your name the other night says all i need to know about him. so can we talk about something else?"

you nodded, ignoring the jutting pain in your chest at her words. you knew well enough that mat knew nothing about you, why would he? but to hear it come from the mouth of someone else stung.

getting them together was gonna be harder than you originally thought.

step two: get them interacting

you were dreading the next time you saw mat for the first time in your life. you were in your cubicle editing photos from the game that night to be posted tomorrow to distract yourself from the inevitable conversation you'd have to have with him. tyler, unfortunately got the shot that was posted immediately to the islanders' instagram account to celebrate their win over the rangers and he had no problem letting you know it. and while it was annoying, it served as a great distraction from your other problem.

"maybe you'll get it next time," he sneered as he packed his bag. most days you hated the fact that you were cubicle neighbors, but neither of you were powerful enough to request moving spaces. and even if you could, you knew it would just make you look hard to work with.

"have a good night, tyler," you replied, not even wanting to give him any ammo to use against you.

the door shut behind him with a click, locking you into sweet sweet silence.

until a minute later when your phone went off with a text message.

mat barzal: where ru?

mat barzal: wanna go to a bar with me and tito and you can bring alexa?

you scoffed. "you can bring alexa," you mocked under your breath. "like that's not the sole reason for you asking me to go out tonight." you packed your bag up and shot a quick text to alexa, asking if she wanted to go out. she replied with an immediate yes, asking where to meet you, which prompted you to reach out to mat who sent you an address in response.

which is how you ended up on a sidewalk in front of an incredibly busy bar with alexa next to you.

"i've never been here," she remarked. "how'd you hear about it?"

"oh, a coworker mentioned it," you said in what was hopefully a nonchalant manner.

she looked at you a moment too long before grabbing your hand and pulling you inside. "you find us a place to sit and i'll grab our drinks!" she shouted over the music.

you quickly looked around for mat and tito, the former who'd texted you the second they arrived. you saw a head of dark hair and immediately knew it was mat. you hurried over, panting when you arrived from having to shove your way towards them.

"you made it!" anthony said. you looked at him and mat, eyes bouncing back and forth between them, when you realized your first problem.

they were sitting on opposite sides of the booth.

which meant you would have to sit with one of them, and alexa would have to sit with the other. if mat had it his way, he'd sit next to alexa, but you knew your friend wouldn't have that. she'd feel manipulated and uncomfortable.

"is there a problem?" tito asked.

you gestured to the booth. "alexa will want to sit by me. she's still not convinced about you, mat."

mat, to his credit, didn't look shocked or offended, he just shrugged and moved to tito's side. "this work?" he asked as you sat down.

you nodded.

"so what's the plan? how should i approach this?" he asked.

"keep the conversation on her, when she tries to turn it on you or about your career, focus on other people, applaud your teammates, your coaches, but whatever you do, don't talk about yourself too much. she already thinks you have a big ego."

"to be fair," tito started. "he does."

mat didn't even dignify that with a response. "so keep the conversation on her and others, got it."

alexa found you a moment later and didn't do a great job covering up her disinterest in sitting with mat and beau.

"i couldn't find anywhere to sit," you explained.

alexa didn't buy it if her eyes bouncing around the bar to find empty tables said anything. but she sat next to you anyway, placing your drink in front of you.

"you remember mat and anthony from the other night, right?" you asked.

she just hummed and took a sip of her drink.

"so, alexa," mat started. "what do you do for a living?"

she stared at him and sighed. "i'm a vet tech," she said, but offered no other information.

"she especially loves the cats," you added.

"cats are great!" mat said a little too enthusiastically.

alexa drained the rest of her glass and got up, leaving the three of you behind.

the second she was gone, beau broke into laughter, slapping his own chest. "that was fucking hilarious," he said.

"yeah yeah yeah, laugh it up," mat grumbled, swirling his cup around instead of making eye contact with anyone.

"i'm serious, i don't think i've ever seen you fail so quickly. it's kind of amazing."

mat focused his eyes on you. "what did i do wrong? i tried asking about her life and she seemed wholly uninterested."

you shrugged. "i don't know! maybe she feels cornered?"

tito took a sip of his beer. "i think you need to workshop this. clearly, neither of you thought this through."

you groaned and rested your head on the table.

this was already harder than you anticipated.

step three: reevaluate and regroup

you met mat in a booth of a coffee shop after you got off work. he was staring at his phone when you walked in, completely unaware that you even existed.

which wasn't abnormal considering you didn't even think he knew who you were a few months ago. but the second the barista called your order out, his head whipped up.

you could've sworn time stopped at that moment.

you made your way towards him and plopped down in the booth opposite of him.

"hi," you smiled. "what's up?"

"i don't know what to do, she doesn't seem interested in me." he groaned into his hands before running one of them through his hair.

god he was so attractive.

you snapped out of your reverie. "listen, you've got what it takes, we just need to reevaluate our strategy. i think the bar thing was a bad idea, she felt ambushed and it probably set us back a little, but i have an idea."

he leaned his forearms on the table. "let's hear it."

"practice dates," you said.

mat blinked once. twice. a third time before he spoke. "practice dates?"

"okay hear me out," you said, pulling a notepad out of the bag you brought. "i have a list of things that alexa likes to do and i was thinking, you and i can do them and work on conversations and how to approach her. so when the time comes, you don't feel out of your element."

"who said i feel out of my element?"

you stared at him. "you said last night 'cats are great!' and expected conversation to flow naturally."

"okay so not my best moment."

"not even close." you sighed. "listen, i wanna help you, and i feel like this is your best bet in winning her over."

mat ran a hand down his face. "okay fine. what's the first date?"

practice date one: pumpkin patch

to be quite frank, you were nervous when proposing the idea, scared that he wouldn't be willing to sit in a car with you for three hours just to get to the pumpkin patch. and maybe he would find it childish.

when in fact, he said nothing about the long car ride, he even offered to pick you up from your apartment, and laughed when you offered to pay for gas. when you finally arrived, you jumped out of mat's car like an excited child. mat stepped out like he knew he was the romantic lead in a movie, suave and collected.

you two could not be more opposite of each other.

it took everything in you to focus on the task at hand, and not fall deeper in love with him. but how could you not? when he looked so boyfriend in a coat and flannel and beanie and jeans that hugged his thighs just right--

you were getting ahead of yourself. you were doing this for mat and alexa, not your own selfish ambition.

"so what's the plan?" he asked after locking his car with the key fob.

you shrugged. "what would you do if you were here with alexa?" the words tasted bitter in your mouth. it was such a painful reminder, knowing that this wasn't real and was in service to hook him up with your friend.

mat looked around and shoved his hands in his pockets. "corn maze?" he pointed. you must've made a face because he spoke up again. "what?"

"alexa hates corn mazes."

he paused. "to the pumpkin patch then?" you nodded and followed his lead. "so how did you meet alexa?"

"she was my first roommate in college, we shared the smallest dorm in history."

"that sounds like an exaggeration."

"says the man who never went to college."

he laughed. "i don't need a college education to identify a hyperbole when i hear one."

you gasped and looked at him with wide eyes. "a hyperbole? what a word."

"laugh it up," he said. "but i'm not a complete idiot, you know."

"never said you were. i just haven't heard anyone use hyperbole in a sentence outside of my english lit classes."

"well, you should know i'm full of surprises."

the two of you approached the pumpkin patch and started weaving between families and the occasional rogue toddler. mat had to tug you out of the way a few times when you about stepped on a child because you were gazing at pumpkins.

"if you don't mind me asking," mat started. "why are you helping me? you don't owe me anything. i feel like i'm taking advantage of your kindness."

you shrugged. "you wouldn't be the first one."

"what's that supposed to mean?" you looked up from the pumpkin patch to see mat's brows furrowed together and his mouth twisted in a cute frown.

"well, i mean, i've been told i have a habit of being a doormat at times."

"who said that?" his tone had changed to a softer one.

"huh?" you asked.

"who called you a doormat?"

you shrugged again, that seemed to be your go to move around him. you squatted down to look at a particularly fat pumpkin, inspecting all sides of it before you responded. "i've heard it all my life, some have said it in meaner ways, others have been nicer about it."

"i'm sorry," he said.

you stood to your full height which was still much shorter than mat's. "why? it's not like it's not true."

"what if i helped you?"

it was your turn to frown. "help me? with what? ice skating?"

mat rolled his eyes. "no, with confidence. maybe even get you a date."

you guffawed, mouth opening and closing like a fish. "what?"

mat pulled you out of the way of yet another child and kept his hand on your elbow until you were clear of the pumpkin roots. and if your heart stopped for a few seconds, that was your business, no one else's. "you heard me. you're young, single, and attractive and you spend all your free time at the office or DDing for your friends. we can work on your confidence and get you out there."

"i don't know..." though your mind was still focused on the fact that he'd called you attractive.

"what about that other photographer guy? tony?"

you cackled. straight up burst into laughter. "tyler? that's fucking hilarious mat."

"what?" the two of you continued down the patch, occasionally gazing at the pumpkins, but mostly just talking. "you two are always talking."

talking or being insulted?

you shook your head. "enough about me, we're here for alexa."

mat nudged you with his elbow. "actually we're here for me to win alexa over."

you kicked a small stone with the toe of your shoe and said nothing. the tragedy of your own personal situation wasn't lost on you, neither was the idiocy of your plan. what were you thinking, spending your free time with mat? to win over your friend?

it was textbook self inflicted torture.

"where'd you go?" mat nudged you again. "i lost you there for a second."

you bent down and picked up a smaller pumpkin. "what do you think about this one?"

"it looks fine. you're ignoring my question."

you juggled the pumpkin back and forth in your hands to determine if you liked it or not. "what question?" you looked up just in time to see mat roll his eyes, but he dropped the topic anyway.

the both of you walked over to the stall to pay for the pumpkin. you reached into your tote bag to grab your wallet, but mat was already holding out a five dollar bill to the vendor.

"you didn't have to--"

"do you wanna get some cider?"

you could've started drooling at the idea of drinking cider. "yes!"

mat chuckled and started walking towards the cider stand where a small family waited in front of you. "does alexa like cider?" he asked.

"what a random question."

"well you're not giving me anything to work with!"

you almost groaned. because he was right. you got caught up in the idea of hanging out with mat outside of work that you forgot the real reason both of you were there in the first place.

"she loves cider, especially when it's spiked. she also loves mulled wine." mat scrunched his face up. "not a fan?" you asked.

"warm wine? no thank you."

mat paid for the cider, going as far as having the cash ready before you could even order.

"you really don't have to keep buying things. i can pay!"

"oh this is all a bribe to get you to go through that corn maze with me."

your face dropped. "alexa doesn't like mazes."

"so i won't go with her next time, but you're here now and i wanna go."

you let him drag you along until you were in the thick of the maze. you let him guide the both of you through it like he knew what he was doing even though you were pretty sure you hit every possible dead end in the maze.

two little kids ran past giggling and smiling. "we found the end, mama!"

you almost laughed at the look of irritation on mat's face.

it took an obscene amount of time to get through the maze, and mat was in a much worse mood when it was all over.

needless to say, the ride home was quiet.

practice date 2: dinner at mat's

you weren't quite sure what mat was planning on making for dinner, but you were willing to bet the smell of smoke wasn't a part of the plan.

the scene when you walked into his apartment could only be described as chaotic. the smoke detector was going off and when you walked into the kitchen, mat was going between waving a towel under the detector and opening every window in his kitchen.

"you weren't supposed to be here yet!" he shouted over the noise before darting past you into the living room to open the windows in there.

you dropped your things on the counter and took over waving the towel under the smoke detector.

"what happened?" you asked.

"i suck at cooking!" he came back in the kitchen and took the towel from you. "i'm taller," he said like that was an explanation.

the beeping ceased and left the two of you in a hazy apartment. when you looked around the kitchen, you saw what had to be charred meat and veggies in a skillet.

"okay so when you cook dinner for alexa, don't. just hire a chef."

mat held up his phone. "or order pizza. you in?"

"do i get to financially contribute?"

he gestured to your belongings on the counter, one of which was a bottle of red wine. "you already did."

"you can't keep buying everything," you said. "it's not fair."

"why not? i'm the millionaire here, i'd look like a dick if i made you pay for anything. besides, when i date alexa, it's not like i'm gonna let my girlfriend pay."

girlfriend.

right.

that was the end goal for him.

you kept forgetting.

you cleared your throat and dusted your hands on your pants despite them being clean.

"you can go pick out a movie or something while i order the pizza?" mat suggested.

you had no choice but to nod and wander into his moderately decorated living room. it definitely still looked like a bachelor pad, but if a bachelor had enough money to hire someone to say he needed artwork, decorative pillows, and a couch that wasn't brown.

you were scrolling through netflix when mat came into the living room and plopped on the sectional beside you, shucking his shoes off. why he was wearing shoes in his own apartment was beyond you, but you weren't one to judge.

"you look nice," he commented, as if just noticing you for the first time that night.

you looked down at your own outfit. it was a pair of jeans and a nice blouse. "this?"

"are you wearing something else that i'm not seeing?" he teased.

before you could die of embarrassment, you switched subjects. "what do you want to watch? i haven't made a decision yet." you handed the remote to him, hating being the one to make the decisions.

he shifted on the couch so he was sitting up instead of lounging on the chaise and took the remote. "what's alexa's favorite movie?"

"birdbox."

mat did a double take. "she likes birdbox?"

you shrugged. "she's into suspense."

mat was about to select birdbox until he took one look on your face. you don't know what you looked like but it made him pause. "but are you?"

"why do you care what i like?"

"because you're here, alexa's not. i don't wanna make you watch something you'd hate." mat shifted on the couch. "why don't we work on those dating tips i talked to you about."

"oh i don't think--"

"why not?" he asked. "you're always so jittery whenever we talk about it."

oh.

was he referring to the other day after practice when he saw tyler tormenting you and mat misinterpreted that as flirty banter? mat had come up to you afterwards to give you pointers but you practically ran away.

"it's not that simple, mat."

"i think it is."

you threw your hands up. "well then, by all means you must be right."

"what's with the attitude?" he asked. "did i say something?"

it was a good question. one that shouldn't make you want to cry, but life felt overwhelming in all the worst ways. between tyler harassing you every second of every day and pretending like you weren't in love with mat so you could set him up with your friend, and taking photos for games and practices, you were exhausted.

"i'm not sober enough for this," you said before getting up and popping the cork on the wine bottle and drinking straight from it.

it was another thirty minutes before the pizza arrived and the both of you were well on your way to wine drunk, you more so than mat. who could blame you though? your life was a sad excuse for a single twenty-something and you were tired of thinking about it.

"truth is," mat started with a mouth full of pizza. "you just need to act like you're the best thing that's ever happened to this city. guys love confident women."

"and that's your biggest issue with alexa right now."

"wanna switch personalities?"

you laughed.

"what?" he asked. "what's so funny?"

"i'm trying to picture you without an ego and i don't think it's possible."

mat rolled his eyes but had a smile on his lips anyway. it shouldn't have made your heart pound the way it did, but you were weak for that man, you had been since day one.

so you switched courses.

"okay," you started. "how do i make get a guy to wanna date me?"

mats eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "you're serious?"

you nodded. "as a heart attack."

mat sat up on the couch and faced you. his eyes scanned your face like he was looking for something but couldn't find it. maybe he was looking for a reason to change the subject.

"alright," he said. "you gotta be confident, even if you don't feel like it. most guys don't mind a little insecurity, they find it kinda cute, but a guy who wants an insecure girl is a red flag."

"should i be taking notes or...?" you took a large sip of your wine and smiled when mat rolled his eyes again.

"secondly, you can't be hiding behind your camera all the time."

you guffawed. "i do not hide behind my camera!"

"oh give me a break, you totally do! you walk around like it's a safety blanket or something."

"because it is!"

"exactly my point! thirdly, chivalry isn't dead. if he's not doing basic things like opening doors, walking on the closest side to the street, and he's only talking about himself? run."

"what? he can't be a good person if he doesn't do those things?"

"if he can't do a basic kind gesture, he's not going to do larger ones. sorry. i don't make the rules."

you blinked. "but you kinda are making the rules for me, right now."

"you're such a smart ass, just like tito."

"is that a good or bad thing?"

mat shrugged and took another bite of pizza. "hard to say, i love tito most days."

love.

don't be an idiot and read into things.

"so," mat leaned back into the couch. "i gave you advice, it's my turn. how do i win over alexa?"

you thought back to the conversation you had with her a few weeks ago about mat. and one comment stuck out the most. "i think the biggest sin you committed was not knowing anything about me despite working together for two years," you admitted shyly.

mat's brows furrowed in that cute way they always did. "what do you mean?"

"she said she's not impressed by you being nice to kid fans or tipping waitstaff. she would be impressed if you knew anything about me because i'm not a hockey player."

mat recoiled as if physically struck by your words. "she thinks that low of you?"

"no she didn't mean to say you were--" you paused. "me? you think she has a low opinion of me?"

mat crossed his arms. "she just insinuated that you weren't important enough for me to know."

"no! that's not what she meant! she was saying that you think you're better than me."

"that's not even remotely true." and he said it so confidently, you almost believed him. "it's not, you know that right?"

you hesitated and you might as well have punched him in the gut.

mat said your name so softly like it was precious. like it was something special. "you have to know, i have never, not once, believed you were beneath me."

you gave him a small smile. "you don't need to explain yourself to me, mat."

he reached over and grabbed your hand, tugging on it lightly. "no. i need you to know, you are important to me."

your heart fluttered at his words, or maybe it was the fact that you were holding hands and you could feel the calluses rub against your own palm.

you could've stayed there forever.

"jesus fucking christ, why does it smell like something burned in here?" the front door opened and slammed sending you and mat sprawling apart like you hadn't been locked in a staring contest and holding hands. tito rounded the corner and crossed his arms, a smug expression on his face. "what do we have here?"

"nothing!" you squeaked out. "i was just leaving!"

"no you weren't," mat started, eyes wide with an emotion you couldn't place. "beau was just leaving."

you looked as confused as tito was. "what? no i'm not." you glanced back at mat who could not have looked more annoyed if he tried. "or i can...?"

"no!" you said. "i need to get going anyway. got work tomorrow, long day."

mat stood up when he realized there was no convincing you. "i can walk you out--"

"don't worry about it! i'm a big girl." you were leaving when you heard whisper shouting. you couldn't fully make out what they were saying, but before you shut the front door behind you, you could've sworn you heard them mention "liking her."

you did your best not to let the talking break your heart even more.

practice date 3: ice skating

you made mat pick out the last date but he hadn't told you what it was, just asked for your shoe size.

aside from that?

radio silence.

maybe you should've seen this coming. you'd talked to alexa a few days ago and she'd suggested that maybe you should put yourself out there more, find a date, find a boyfriend, find some happiness.

after practice, you found yourself scrolling through your camera roll in one of the seats in the arena when a pair of skates came into your peripheral. you looked up expecting to see a mop of black hair and hazel eyes.

but it was tito with a sheepish grin on his face.

"hey," he said.

you put your camera down and smiled. it was always good to see tito, with the exception of the other night. "hey, what can i do for you?"

anthony playfully rolled his eyes. "you don't live to serve us," he said. "i don't need anything, just wanted to say hi."

"hi!" you smiled even brighter.

"i was wondering, what're you doing friday night?"

you jaw dropped. and it must've been funny because tito threw his head back and laughed. "what?"

tito smiled at you and gestured towards you. "i was wondering if you'd want to get dinner with me on friday. i don't know what time you get off work, but i was thinking 6:30?"

you blinked. you blinked again. "are you serious?"

"why wouldn't i be? you're attractive, single, and i like your company. i think we'd have a fun time."

"okay," you smiled again. have you ever smiled this much in your life? you were unsure. "okay yeah, friday at 6:30 is perfect."

"great," tito grinned. "can i have your number?" you handed your phone over rather quickly, watching as he typed his number in and texted himself. "i'll see you," he said.

"bye tito!" you waved until he was out of sight. and even then, you continued to stare at the spot he was once occupying.

"what the hell was that about?"

you jumped about a foot in the air when tyler made his comment from over your shoulder. "jesus fucking christ, tyler." you placed a hand over your heart to feel how rapidly it was beating. "are you some sort of lurker?"

"what did beauvillier want with you?" he condescended.

"it's none of your business." you rolled your eyes when your phone buzzed.

mat barzal: come down to the locker room.

"who is that?" he asked, peering over your shoulder, but you stood up and started walking away.

the both of you headed down to the locker rooms, though you weren't really enjoying the company. tyler kept talking about your lackluster photography skills like the both of you didn't have the exact same job title.

you were rounding the corner when you saw mat leaning up against the wall, still in his hockey gear. tyler, being confronted with an audience, immediately departed. if you had to guess, he probably went back to his office to scheme how else to make your life miserable.

"hey," you said as you approached. "what's up?"

mat reached down and tossed a duffle bag at your feet. "open the bag," he directed.

you squatted and opened the zipper to see a pair of ice skates. you looked up at mat who looked pleased with himself. "what're these for?"

"you ever been ice skating?" he asked.

the short answer? no.

the long answer? once in second grade for a field trip.

"kinda?" you said instead.

mat laughed, like an actual laugh. there was a shiver that went down your spine at the very sound of it. "it's a yes or no question."

"i would say yes, but i was like eight."

"yeah, doesn't really count anymore. grab the bag, let's go." he walked off without a second thought, leaving you scrambling with the bag and rushing after him.

"what's the point of this?" you called after him.

"you told me to pick the last date, this is it!"

you stopped walking immediately. "mat, i don't know if this is a good idea..."

as if sensing your hesitation, mat turned around and walked back towards you. he rested his hands on your shoulders and squeezed lightly, ducking his head down towards yours. "i'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you, i promise. you have nothing to be afraid of."

"what if my boss sees? what if lou sees? i'm a lot more replaceable than you are."

mat scoffed. "first of all, you're not replaceable. second of all, it's gonna be fine. i'll take all the heat if we get in trouble, which we won't because it's not a big deal." he reached down and grabbed your hand that wasn't holding the duffle bag. "now c'mon."

he led you out to the bench where you sat down and placed your camera on the bench. "take your shoes off and put these socks on." he tossed a pair of socks at your head that you barely caught in time.

"but i'm already wearing socks," you said.

"these are longer, unless you want the boot to cut into your ankle."

safe to say, you put the socks on.

mat knelt in front of you to help put the skates on, tying them up so they were secure on your feet.

you wanted to swoon at the sight of him before you. thankfully, he stood up and helped you to your feet before you could start imagining anything preposterous.

like him proposing.

you watched as mat slid over the top of the bench railing and onto the ice. he turned around and looked at you expectantly.

"oh hell no," you said. "where's the door, i'll use the door."

he cackled as you walked and opened the door, but skated to you anyway to give you some assistance when stepping onto the ice.

"easy does it," he said, chuckling when your grip was practically crushing his fingers. "you're okay, i'm not gonna let you fall."

"it's not you i don't trust, it's me."

mat kept a grip on your hands and led you out to the center of the ice. on the way to the center, you slipped twice, a squeak leaving your lips. you quickly latched onto mat who only laughed at your death grip on his forearms.

"it's not funny," you whined. "i'm terrified."

"you're right, it's not funny. but it is cute." he removed your hands from his arms and skated away from you. "okay, now come to me."

he was easily twenty feet away.

you glanced down at the ice and then back at mat. you would've sat down if you knew how to without eating it. "mat, i'm telling you right now, that's not gonna happen."

"it's not that hard."

"you've been skating since you were a child. i have not." you attempted to take a step forward, but thought differently of it. "besides, how does this help you with alexa?"

"easy," he said. "if i can teach you to skate, i can teach anyone."

"so your idea of a romantic date is a girl busting her ass over and over for an hour?"

"not quite," he said, skating circles around you.

literally.

"you're being an ass,' you whined. "why did the one practice date you pick out have to do with hockey?"

"because it's what i love. and if a girl can't hang with it, our relationship is doomed to fail."

you rolled your eyes. "that's a bit dramatic. you can appreciate and love hockey without having to ice skate. thousands of fans do it all the time."

"but my girlfriend won't be just a fan, now will she?"

your heart sank at the idea of alexa and mat in a similar situation. alexa actually trying to skate and looking beautiful while doing so. you pictured them laughing as she slipped and mat catching her before she could fall.

"you okay? i lost you again." mat skated right up to you, leaving maybe a foot of space between the two of you.

"yeah," you breathed. "just thinking."

mat smirked and skated backwards. "uh oh. that can't be good. less thinking more skating. would it help if i pushed you?"

"no!" you shrieked. "it definitely wouldn't!"

but it was too late. mat was skating up behind you and placing his hands on your waist. "relax," he murmured. "i'm not gonna push you without a little guidance."

relax?

relax?

when his hands were on your waist and he was mumbling in your ear?

how the hell was anyone supposed to live, laugh, love in these conditions?

mat added a little pressure to your back. and suddenly you were moving. "that's it," he praised. "now just move your feet."

it was easier with mat's hands on you, the sensation forcing you to focus on the warmth of his palms than the fact that you were skating on sharp knives.

"see? this isn't so bad, right?"

it wasn't too terribly bad, truth be told it was just like roller skating, just ten times scarier.

"yeah," you said. "not too bad."

"so you're ready to go by yourself?" his hands starting slipping away, leaving a burning sensation in their wake.

"i--"

but he was already skating away. he stopped about twenty feet away and smiled. "skate to me."

"mat--" your voice shook at the idea. skating with him was one thing, skating to him was another.

"hey," he said quietly. "eyes on me, okay? i'm not gonna let you fall, if i think you're gonna fall, i'll catch you. i was the fastest skater in 2020, remember?"

you nodded. "just like roller skating," you mumbled.

"except better," mat added.

you took a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other, slowly but surely gliding towards him. you started picking up pace the closer you got to him.

"mat?"

"you're doing great!" he smiled.

"i don't know how to stop!"

mat laughed even as he caught you. his arms gripped your biceps and his smile was a mile wide. "you okay?" he asked.

you couldn't help but smile. "yeah," you breathed.

there was hardly any room between the two of you. your heart was beating wildly in your chest at the proximity, the rush of skating alone, who knew? you surely didn't.

you looked into his eyes and could've sworn his gaze dropped to your chin, but you were known for your hopeless romantic delusions, so maybe--

"hey!" whatever trance you were in ended when you saw a man in coveralls standing at the end of the rink. "time's up, i gotta clean the ice!"

"sorry!" mat called. "we'll get out of your way!" he gently took your hand in his and skated the both of you back to the benches.

mat helped you take off your skates and walked you back up the tunnel towards the locker rooms. the both of you stopped just outside of them, considering mat still had to shower and go home while you had the rest of the day to do your work.

"this was really fun," you said. "terrifying but fun."

"i'm glad you enjoyed it." his smile just about made you collapse into a puddle.

but you got a grip on reality and nodded. "well, i hope this helps with alexa, i'll try to talk to her in the next day or so, see where her head is."

mat's jaw clenched but he nodded. "i'll be seeing you."

"bye, mat."

you might as well have been on cloud nine by the time you got up to your office. you were in a different zone, focused on the way that mat's hands felt on your body, in your own hand. the feeling of euphoria wouldn't leave your body, you were sure of it. nothing could take that feeling away.

until you got to your desk and saw tyler.

who was sitting on your desk and using a paper clip to get the dirt out from under his nails.

"what were you and barzal doing?" tyler asked, moving off your desk, instead choosing to lean up against the cubicle.

you ignored him.

"i asked you a question," he said.

"i heard you, tyler. but i have work to do." you signed into your computer and plugged your camera in, ready to start uploading and editing photos from practice and the game yesterday.

“do you really think sleeping your way through the roster will help you get your pics chosen for the social media accounts?” he sneered.

you froze, your fingers hovered over the keyboard. "what?"

"i said--"

"don't repeat it." another voice joined in and when you turned around to see who came in, you were flabbergasted.

mat.

"barzal i--"

"where do you get off talking to her like that? talking to anyone like that?" he stepped into the room, chest puffed out.

in all of your time working for the isles, mat had never been much of a fighter, but he looked ready to pummel tyler if need be.

"mat, it's fine," you mumbled.

"no, it's not. is this how he normally talks to you?"

you said nothing.

that only seemed to make mat angrier. "you need to go to HR about this. this is workplace harassment. now apologize," he directed at tyler.

"for what? speaking the truth? is this how you think you can get ahead in life?" tyler said to you. "first beauvillier now barzal?"

you and mat both froze. in the corner of your eye you could see his jaw clench before he looked at you.

"can you do your work from home?" he asked.

you nodded. "i just have a shit ton of editing but i can do that on my laptop--"

"great. i'll take you home."

"but my boss-"

"if anyone has a problem with it, they can talk to me. let's go." mat was spinning on his heel and walking out of the room as quickly as he came in. you were unplugging your camera and logging off your computer, packing up your things, before sprinting after him.

"mat! mat, wait up!"

he stopped walking and looked at you, an unfamiliar expression in his eyes. "can you wait for me outside the locker room? i still have to shower and change."

you nodded. "why did you come upstairs anyway?"

"to give you the skates." you glanced down at his empty hands. "i forgot the bag, and by that point, i was too lazy to go down and get them without you."

the both of you continued your walk until you got to the locker room.

"i'll be a few minutes and then i'll take you home."

true to his word, mat was only gone for ten minutes before coming out freshly showered and ready to go home. neither of you spoke until he was pulling the car out of the parking garage.

"what did tyler mean when he mentioned tito?" mat asked after moments of silence. his fists were gripping the wheel tightly, though you didn't know why.

"tito asked me to dinner on friday."

mat's fists tightened their grip on the wheel and his jaw clenched so hard, you were afraid he was going to chip some teeth.

"oh." was all he said.

"something wrong? i just figured for once i wouldn't be hiding behind my camera like you said and i thought it would be fun, you know? we get along fine. why? do you think i shouldn't go?"

"no!" mat said quickly. "no, i just, it just caught me by surprise is all. i'm sure you'll have fun."

"and i can give you alexa's number if you want to ask her out! she's coming over tonight so i can talk you up now that i know more about you, make it seem more genuine."

"yeah," he choked out. "yeah, that would be great."

mat pulled up to your apartment a few minutes later and watched as you got out. "i meant what i said in your office," he said. "you need to tell HR about tyler's behavior."

"i will." you probably wouldn't. "thanks, mat."

he nodded as you shut the door and waited for you to go inside before driving off.

you walked up the stairs to your apartment and unlocked the door. as you shut the door behind you, you felt the weight of today bearing down.

tito asking you out.

the moments with mat.

the slut shaming comment from tyler.

when did your life get so dramatic?

step 4: get her to say yes

you had alexa over that night, armed with a million reasons why she should say yes to mat.

and the one reason why she should say no was locked deep in your chest. your happiness and affection for him shouldn't deter her.

besides, you would eventually get over your silly little crush, right?

right?

"so what's new in your world? i feel like you've been so busy lately. it's kind of strange," alexa said before shoveling a forkful of pasta in her mouth. it should've been disgusting, but she made it look graceful.

"oh you know, just working."

"is that why you were in the middle of nowhere a few weeks ago? work?"

"what?"

"i checked your location, you were on a farm. didn't realize the isles was doing photoshoots that far out of the city."

"oh they're not," you explained. "i was with mat, we were just hanging out."

alexa blinked. "since when do you and mat hang out?"

ouch.

but true.

you couldn't come out and say it could you? that the reason the two of you started interacting was because he wanted to date alexa?

no, you couldn't.

so you lied.

"oh, the social media team wanted me to get some information on mat, like a get to know you segment. they wanted something outside of work, so we were just hanging out so i could write this article on him."

a complete lie. you haven't had to write anything on anyone since your college journalism class. but alexa didn't know that. you never told her what you do all day for work. for all she knew, you could be running the tiktok account.

alexa raised an eyebrow. "and how did that go? was he talking about himself the entire time?"

"no!" you said. but then you paused, realizing that getting defensive would just look suspicious. "he told me a lot about how he doesn't like mulled wine and loves corn mazes despite being absolutely shitty at them. he loves his friends and hockey, obviously. he refuses to let anyone pay for anything while you're with him because he has money and likes to treat people. and he sticks up for the people that are important to him. and once you're in with him, you don't have to worry about your place in his life or how important you are because he will keep reminding you."

alexa stared at you. "are you sure you don't want to go out with him?"

you guffawed and hoped that it covered up your embarrassment. "what? no! he's clearly into you, and i think you should go for it."

"give me one good reason why."

"because he's kind, and nothing like your ex. he cares, legitimately cares about people and their lives." you sighed, not sure if you were convincing her. “it’s just one date, lex. if you don’t like him at least you got a free meal.”

alexa chewed her lip, letting you anguish in silence. "fine. you can give him my number and we'll set up a date. i trust you."

"fantastic!" you were already pulling your phone out. "he'll be so excited--"

"only if you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't have feelings for him."

you opened and closed your mouth. "i don't have feelings for him," you said with as much confidence as you could.

"honey..."

"no! i don't! if i had feelings for him, would i be going out to dinner with his best friend on friday?"

alexa didn't look fully convinced, but your date with tito was a welcomed distraction as she started rattling off questions about what you would wear and where he was taking you.

alexa left two hours later, meaning you could go to bed at a reasonable hour. as you laid in bed, you grabbed your phone and opened mat's contact, drafting a text to him.

here's alexa's number. managed to convince her you were worth a shot. xxx-xxx-xxxx.

you locked your phone and put it on do not disturb before you could see his response.

when you woke up the next morning, you saw mat had simply liked the message and left it at that.

by noon, alexa texted you that her date with mat was on saturday.

step 5: let the dates begin

friday came faster than you were anticipating. you kept your distance from mat, unable to look at him without thinking about how he was taking your friend out the very next day and that your interactions from that point on would probably be through alexa.

tyler kept his distance, must've been the threat of going to HR (that you still hadn't gone through with) that had him treating you like a human being with feelings.

as for tito, you probably should've been more excited for your date that night, but all you could focus on was how mat and alexa would fall in love and get married and have beautiful babies and grow old together.

and you would be the sucker who set them up because you could never tell mat no.

a slam against the boards startled you enough to look up from your camera to see tito standing there with a smile on his face.

"you okay?" he asked over the sounds of his teammates on the ice.

you gave him what you hoped was a convincing smile and nodded. but he rolled his eyes.

"we'll talk later," he said before skating away. you smiled and waved at him before you made eye contact with mat who was clenching his jaw. at what? you weren't sure. you even turned around to see if tyler had entered the arena, but you were standing alone.

like you always were.

you were headed back to your desk to do some editing as practice let out, but your name was called before you could get away.

when you looked over your shoulder, you saw tito doing an awkward half jog half walk towards you with a tired grin on his face. "hey," he said. "how do you think practice went?"

you turned to face him fully. "you're asking me? a professional asking some photographer how practice went?"

tito rolled his eyes. "oh c'mon. you've seen our practices, by now you should be able to determine whether or not it was a good one."

"well, no one fought each other, so i guess that's a win."

tito shook his head. "nah, that's when the best practices happen. when everyone's pissed at each other."

you smiled. "shows what i know."

"i think you know more than you think. you've worked here for awhile now."

"i've just gotten better at motion capture photography and following the puck around the ice. doesn't mean i know shit about hockey."

"don't think we don't notice you getting riled up during games when calls are missed."

you tilted your head and furrowed your brows. "we?"

tito shrugged and laughed to himself. "mat usually points it out before i can." you must've made a face because he added more. "it's usually on the bench, he's focused on the game when he's playing."

the both of you turn your heads at the other players walking down the tunnel. when the both of you caught sight of mat, tito smiled.

"will you send me your address? so i can pick you up?"

your attention snapped back to tito. "yeah! of course!"

he nodded and started his walk towards the locker rooms right when mat walked up to you. "what was that about?" he asked.

you shrugged. "just going over details for tonight. he needs my address to pick me up."

mat clenched his jaw again and looked down the tunnel, nodding his head. "that's tonight?"

"yep. at 6:30."

he wouldn't meet your eyes. instead, he looked at your shoes, your camera, the hallway, his teammates, but would never look at your face.

"you and alexa go out tomorrow, right? where are you taking her?"

he ran a hand through his hair and nodded at anders as he passed by. "yeah, we're going out to this sushi place. did you ever talk to HR?"

"well no but--"

"do i need to talk to HR?"

"he really hasn't been that bad lately--"

"because i threatened to tell HR on his ass. he's gonna get comfortable and start insulting you again. it's just a matter of time."

you nodded, feeling a lump in your throat form at the idea of mat scolding you, in front of his teammates no less.

mat sighed and ran a hand through his hair again. "i'm not trying to fuss or tell you what to do, i just don't like seeing you treated like that."

"thanks, mat," you mumbled.

he still wouldn't meet your eyes, instead looking down the hallway to see most of his team in the locker room. "i gotta go, but um, good luck tonight. beau's a good guy."

with that he turned on his skates and walked away.

you felt every bit of pathetic as you watched him go.

that night, you settled on a pretty dress that wasn't too fancy, seeing as the only details tito had given you were that it was nicer than an olive garden but not a michelin star restaurant. you were strapping yourself into your heels when you heard a knock on the door.

your phone said it was only 6:15, but maybe tito was accounting for traffic. he never did specify when the reservation was.

"coming!" you called as you put your last heel on and made your way to the door. "i wasn't expecting you this early, you never told me when the reservation was--" your voice trailed off when you opened the door and saw who was standing on the other side.

mat.

he looked more disheveled than you'd ever seen him. it was clear he'd been running his hands through his hair repeatedly just by the strands sticking out every which way.

he still looked handsome.

"mat, what're you--"

"i think you're beautiful. and smart. and passionate about a lot of things. and i think anyone who tells you otherwise is an idiot, and i'd fight them if you'd let me." your eyes started welling up with tears. "i think you're perfect for me and if you'd let me take you out, i promise i'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you."

you blinked until the tears disappeared by sheer willpower, not willing to cry in front of him. "that's perfect," you said. "say that to lex and she'll be eating out of the palm of your hand."

you turned around to grab your bag and coat before you could see mat's face drop in confusion. by the time you turned back around, anthony was standing next to his best friend.

"you ready?" he asked, only glancing at mat out of the side of his eye.

you nodded and squeezed mat's arm as you passed; you couldn't help yourself. "get home safe, mat."

neither you or tito spoke until you got into his car. "what was that about?" he asked.

you shrugged. still not fully comprehending why mat showed up at your door in the first place. "he was telling me what he was gonna tell lex tomorrow, i think."

"really." he didn't sound convinced.

"why else would he show up?"

tito mumbled. "i can think of a few reasons."

after he parked the car, tito got out and opened the door for you while you were answering texts from alexa. he offered you a hand to get out that you took.

there were no sparks, no electric sensations going up your arm. just physical contact, just the warmth of his palm in yours.

he led you into the restaurant which was moderately fancy, like he said. the two of you were escorted back to a table in the corner, away from windows and therefore away from prying eyes.

like a gentleman, he pulled your chair out and helped you scooch up to the table.

"i can't remember if i told you this, but you look lovely," he said with a smile.

"thanks," you replied. "you look handsome." and you meant it. if you weren't in love with his best friend, in another life, you could see yourself falling for his blue eyes. and maybe you still could. mat was going on a date with your friend tomorrow so it was better that you just get over him already and--

"so how long have you been in love with mat?"

you choked on your own spit, and for a minute, tito looked apologetic. for his timing, you had to guess, not the question itself.

surely you heard him wrong.

"what?" you asked when you finally got your bearings.

"how long have you loved him?"

nope. you heard him correctly.

"i--"

he leaned forward, arms braced on the table. "you don't have to lie to me, i know. i've known for awhile."

"i--"

but the server came up and asked for drink orders. tito ordered a bottle of red for the table after asking for your thoughts.

you were still reeling from his question, safe to say you didn't have any thoughts.

"sorry," tito started. "i didn't mean to make you feel cornered, i just wanted to be honest."

"it doesn't look like you're the only who needs to be honest, it's me." you fiddled with the ends of your dress.

"why'd you do it? why'd you help set mat up with your friend?"

you shrugged. "i just wanted to see him happy. and i wanted alexa to find a good guy, i knew mat was one. they make sense together."

"even if it makes you unhappy."

"even if it makes me unhappy."

tito nodded, and looked at you like he could see something you couldn't. "let's forget about him for now and just enjoy dinner, eh?"

you gave him your best smile and nodded.

the rest of the night flew by. soon enough, tito was walking you up to your apartment and kissing your cheek before he left. you wished you felt butterflies, or something, but there was no special sensation. nothing to make you weak in the knees.

it was like a kiss from an old friend.

your phone buzzed with a text from alexa.

alexa: how'd your date go?

you typed out a quick response.

it was good. just got home.

you locked your phone and placed it on your nightstand before collapsing into bed. but your phone buzzed again. you thought about ignoring it, but if it was alexa, you didn't want her to think you were upset at her.

mat barzal: did you have fun?

you blinked before typing back.

yeah. tito's great.

not a second later, you got another text.

mat barzal: good. have a good night.

you fell back against your pillows and cursed at the ceiling.

step 6: let them fall in love

you woke up the next morning and stayed in bed until your bladder was about to burst. after the date with tito and the reminder that mat was going out with alexa tonight, it was all enough to put you back in bed as soon as you peed.

and you stayed there, flicking through netflix shows and wallowing in self pity. you usually weren't this pathetic, but the idea of alexa and mat getting cozy on their date that night was enough to warrant your sadness.

you'd pull yourself together by monday when you'd have to go back to work and see how happy she made him.

that's what you kept telling yourself, that at the very least, two of your friends would be happy.

by 7pm, you were sitting on the couch, waiting for takeout to arrive.

when a knock on the door signified your food arrived, you got up with your blanket burrito and walked to the door. you didn't even bother checking before yanking the door open and looking down at your doormat.

only to see a pair of shoes.

"what the hell," you mumbled. "i thought i said leave at the door...' your voice trailed off as your eyes lifted to meet a pair of hazel.

mat barzal.

he had your food in one hand while the other was in his pocket.

"mat?" you whispered. suddenly, you were throwing the blankets off your shoulders and behind you into your apartment where they'd be out of sight.

though it was then you realized you were in sweats and you hadn't done anything with your hair all day so you were probably better off with the blanket burrito instead.

"hi," he breathed. "here's your food." he handed it over, nodding when you murmured your thanks, and shoved his other hand through his hair.

you glanced at the time on the clock on your wall to make sure you weren't hallucinating. "why're you here, mat? shouldn't you be with alexa?"

"that's what i wanted to talk to you about, actually."

"oh no," you started panicking, your eyes widened. "did she not show up?" you turned back into your apartment and went to your phone, searching for texts from alexa to explain her absence. "i swear i thought she'd show. she told me she would and she's usually a woman of her word."

you turned around when your front door shut with mat standing in the middle of your living room, looking out of place and right at home somehow.

your phone was vacant of any text messages from alexa.

"no, she showed. i left early."

that caught your attention.

you set your food on the coffee table and turned around to face him.

"why did you leave early? was she rude? are you sick?"

mat shook his head. "no, i'm fine, she was fine. that's not why i'm here. i mean it is but that's--that's--i want, no i need to tell you something."

"tell me what?"

he rolled his eyes. "i'm getting to that." he started pacing your very small living room. you wondered if he knew how much space he took up in your apartment. you wondered if he cared how messy your place was. "i'm just gonna come right out and say it, and don't interrupt me this time." you nodded.

mat ran both hands through his hair for the twentieth time since he showed up. "when i said all those things last night, i wasn't talking about alexa. i was talking about you."

what.

but he continued.

"i'm not gonna pretend i've loved you this whole time, but i fell in love with you along the way. the way you kept analyzing every fucking pumpkin for the perfect one, or how you bring red wine to dinner unprompted because you can't not contribute to something, or the way you trusted me enough to take you on the ice and show you something i love, or how you laugh like no one has ever said something mean to you in your life even when i know that jackass tyler harasses you on the daily. you're kind to literally every person i've ever seen you interact with.

"but i hate the way you shrink yourself like you're afraid to take up space. i hate the way you act like alexa's better than you, like i couldn't fall in love with you when you're literally the most generous, kindest, passionate, and beautiful person i've ever met in my life. because i do love you. every fiber of my being loves you."

you blinked once. twice. and breathed.

"what?" you whispered as tears gathered in the corners of your eyes.

"i know you just went out with tito last night, and if you like him, if you love him, i get it. he's a great guy and you'd be great together. but i'm asking you to give me a chance, give us a chance. i've had fun with you the last few weeks and i cannot bear the thought of not calling you mine any longer." his chest was heaving as the words rushed out of his mouth.

you rounded the coffee table to get to him. as soon as you were in arms' reach, mat was pulling you to him. with your hips pressed together, your lips just a breath away, you spoke softly.

"please tell me this isn't a dream."

a small laugh escaped his lips and echoed over your own. "it's not a dream, baby. this is real. i love you so fucking much."

"i love you too, mat."

any words you had left to say were lost as he brought your mouths together.

you weren't sure how much time had passed before you separated from him with your hands pressed on his chest. mat tried to follow your lips, but you kept a firm hand on his sternum so you could speak.

"what about alexa?"

mat pulled back. "what about her?"

"you were on a date with her and just left her there?"

"i more than covered the tab if that's what you're afraid of--"

"what if she hates me?"

he laughed. like threw his head back and laughed before kissing you again. "baby, we were there for fifteen minutes and all i could talk about was you. she told me to come here and tell you the truth."

you smiled. "thank god for alexa."

"thank god for alexa."

mat led the two of you over to the couch where you immediately curled into him. he kissed the top of your head, seemingly addicted to having his lips on your body at all times. "you're fired, you know."

you would've pulled away had mat's grip allowed it. "what? fired from what?"

"the wing woman business. you're absolutely horrible at it."

"yeah, well i think it worked out pretty well."

he pressed his lips into your hair and mumbled. "yeah, i think so too."

[damiansgoodgirll]

can u write abt jude defending the reader and also comforting her

jude bellingham x reader

tw : angst? not a main character death but still…

no one can compare

dating jude bellingham took a big change on your life. you went from having 45 followers to have more than a million. you went from being no one to being someone. you went from posting normal selfies to posting professional photos that photographers took of you. you went from working underpaid jobs to work with important brand as nike and gucci.

you knew that everything you had was because of jude and you couldn’t be more grateful. he didn’t mind about you getting important deals because everything he wanted was too see you happy and so if being the face of an important brand made you happy he would tell you to go for it.

he was your number one supporter and you were his. he always reposted everytime you got a deal done and you attended every single one of his matches.

you were like the “it” couple and fans loved you.

well, not all jude’s fans.

a big part of his fan base was made of teenage girls who absolutely hated you and they wanted you to know that.

you couldn’t even post a normal picture on instagram that you would receive comments like “she’s so ugly” “why is jude dating her?” “he could have better” “she was nothing before him” “she only uses him for money”…

the thing was, it wasn’t a normal picture. you posted a picture for your best friend who passed away a few days before. you thought people would understand the situation but that didn’t stop them from saying mean things on you.

that’s how you found yourself laying on the bed and all covered in blankets, drying your tears away while you were going through the comments.

jude was in the bathroom next door and he definitely heard you sniffling. he knew about the comments, he read those comments on the pictures he posted with you and even if he asked his fans to stop the harassment it felt like they wouldn’t even care and that made him ten times angrier.

he carefully opened the bedroom door, not trying to upset you more and went to sit on the bed, in the spot right next to you.

“hey love…” he gave you a sad smile when he saw your red eyes “please…give me your phone baby” he slowly went to get the phone out of your hands and you simply let it fall.

“why are people so mean? my best friend just passed away and all these people can say is how i look fake to their eyes” you cried “i couldn’t care less about what they say about me…but saying things under my best friend’s post? where is the respect everyone is preaching?” you let yourself cry in his arms.

“i know baby…i know you’re hurting” he kissed your head while his hands went on your back.

“it’s not only that…it’s just…everything i do seems to upset them…i know they’re your fans but what have i done to them for make them hate me so much?” you sniffled a little.

“absolutely nothing baby…you’re so perfect and beautiful and they wish they were you…they wish they were here with me instead…they’re jealous and insecure so they feel the need to hurt you and make you feel like they feel about themselves” he told you “they’re jealous because i chose you, not them” he kissed your cheek “and they’re jealous because they can’t compete with you…you’re so kind and beautiful and god, i love you so much darling…no one can compare to you, i love you and only you…” he wiped your tears away and gently posed his lip over yours “you’re my everything…”

“i love you so much jude…thank you”

“you don’t have to thank me baby, it’s the truth…that’s the whole reason i chose you and not them…you’re ten thousand times better” he said and you smiled a little.

he then let you snuggle on his chest while his hands held you closer to his body, gently stroking your hair as you both ended up watching some stupid show on his laptop.

[sirfrogsworth]

The Curse of Artistic Vision

I think being an artist comes down to developing an image in your head and then feeling compelled to manifest it. Sometimes you are able to improve upon that image in your head. Or you end up with something different that you like better.

But sometimes, for various reasons, you can't quite make that image a reality. And I don't know if other artists feel this way, but it feels like heartbreak every time. Not quite on the level of an incident of human decoupling, but it definitely sticks with you for a long time.

Sometimes I am limited by the current state of my skillset. I just haven't learned enough and gained enough experience to take a photo like the one in my brain.

And sometimes I am limited by my body, which puts huge restrictions on the amount of energy I can dedicate to crafting a photo.

I feel my knowledge and experience has never been at the level I am currently at. I think I have the *potential* to shoot just about anything I can imagine. Which is a cool feeling. I also feel like my image editing and manipulation skills are at the highest they have ever been. Which means anything I can't do in-camera, I can achieve in Lightroom and Photoshop.

But I just don't have a lot of energy to capture photos right now. And I am very limited by how much physical effort I can dedicate to the photographic process. Which is very frustrating. I'm hoping if I build a new studio in the house that will help a lot.

In the meantime, I have this library of images I took before 2017. Many of them I was not able to achieve my artistic vision.

But... I came close.

Which means on many of these old images I can use my editing skills of today to achieve what I could not back then.

And so I have started a huge re-edit project where I go back and realize my images as I wanted them to be.

I had this idea for an image of someone in the middle of a dark forest in an open field reading a book and the only illumination was a lamp that seemed to be plugged into nothing. It popped into my head and it just seemed like a cool photo to create.

In July of 2016, my friend Ryan was visiting and we decided to try it. We even rented a big fancy 50 megapixel camera for a few days. I had never used a professional level camera and it was my birthday and I wanted that experience.

I even had this cool idea to hide a flash in the lamp so it would look like it was illuminated.

The resulting image was not anything like I had in my head. And for some reason, I edited it super bright, and you can barely even notice the cool lampshade flash trick. If you lower the exposure of the RAW file there is a well-defined circle of light in the grass, but it is hard to see in the 2016 edit.

Where is the dark background? Why didn't I underexpose the background to make it look like night or sunset? I knew how to do that back then. I totally could have crafted the photo in my head at that time.

But then I noticed I only took like 8 photos of this scene. And I *always* overshoot. I took 300 photos of a bridge recently.

Then I remembered what happened. We moved a giant rocking chair, a lamp, and lighting equipment to the middle of my neighbor's yard and by the time I was ready to take the photo, I was about to pass out. I believe it was very hot as well.

And so the above was the best I could do under that circumstance. My body limited my artistic vision. And this has been bothering me for years. Sometimes I will think back on this photo and how cool it looked in my head and I will feel that heartbreak again.

When I look at the RAW file... it is actually much better than my edited image.

Which makes me curious why I made it so damn bright. My best theory is I had a monitor that was slowly dying and I didn't realize how dim it got because our eyes are so good at adjusting, and it's possible all of my images from that era were overly bright because I was overcompensating for a dying display.

That fancy camera (Canon 5DS R) was a dream to work with. And having so many extra megapixels to play with is such a joy. People say you don't need more megapixels these days, but when you are doing high level image manipulation, having as much information as possible makes it a lot easier. Especially when making complex selections.

So, I've got a good start. I have a lot of pixels to play with. I was almost certain I could manifest my vision with modern knowledge and tools.

I'll start with the baseline edit in Lightroom. I'm not going to worry about the sky, as that will need to be swapped for my nighttime aesthetic.

The circle of light was there! It was just hiding in my bright exposure. So that's neat. And when you lower the exposure of the background, the lampshade trick presents itself as well.

At this point I was getting excited because I could see the potential. I just had to find the right sky. This one looks perfect.

Okay, it is time for the big reveal.

Did I finally get this image out of my brain and into reality?

I DID!

I don't know if people will like this or find it artistically interesting, but Ryan and I were both very happy with the new version.

Also, I think Ryan's purple shoes really steal the show.

Though I had one idea that was never in my head originally.

Should I try it?

I still haven't decided on the fireflies yet, but Ryan and Katrina like them.

I can't state how nice it was to work on a 50 megapixel photo from a full frame sensor coming from a 10 year old camera with 4 stops less dynamic range and 24 megapixels.

This is zoomed in to 100%!

And the image doesn't even get soft at 300%.

Sorry, I got caught up in the megapixels.

And there is one detail you'll probably never notice unless I point it out, but I completely rebuilt the lampshade because I overexposed it.

I always say small details add up to big results. Plus I had to use some creative problem solving to figure out how to recreate a lampshade and I always enjoy that part of the process—where you don't know how to do something and then you figure it out. Very satisfying.

In any case, my brain feels better now. I feel like I was able to settle something that has been bothering me for ages. And I am grateful I was able to realize my artistic vision—even if it took 8 years.

Here is the before and after. It's fun to switch back and forth.

On to the next photo. And it may involve a furry little orange friend.

[xxnashiraxx]

Fun Facts About Your Tav!

Thank you for the tags, @pinkberrytea and @kalmiaphlox !!! ❤️❤️

Answering for my Tav/Durge Ofelia from With Stars to Fill My Dream! No pressure tags for my lovely friends @verbenaa @preciouslittlebhaalbae @inkymoonbunny @ladyduellist @justabiteofspite @khywren @coyote-mint @bardic-inspo @roguishcat @elinorbard @allymcfee @busy-baker @nerdallwritey @nerdalmighty @lanafofana

Ofelia 🩸

1. Is Your Character Good, Evil, or Neutral? (Makes some good decisions, some bad ones?)

Ofelia's Lawful/Neutral Good- she's not afraid to stand up for herself or those less fortunate and will do what's right even when facing opposition. I answered the questions in this alignment quiz from her perspective, but she's generally a rule breaker, especially when those rules are unjust. If they end up hurting people she's likely to ignore them and break them completely.

2. What Hobbies Do They Partake In?

Since she's a bard, I feel like it's kind of self explanatory lol. Since that's the obvious answer, I'll go more in-depth into the ones she doesn't really talk about that much. She loves to journal- memories are really important to her, and since she'd moved around so much during her childhood, remembering the people and places that left an impression via writing it down became a ritual for her. She loves to photograph things in her spare time, by no means a professional, but she'll often take those photos and put them in her journal. She also loves to read!

3. Do They Own Any Heirlooms From Their Family or Ancestors?

Not really... that question has a bit of a difficult answer. I have some things planned for later in Act 3 that will kind of answer this question, but since they're insane spoilers I won't talk about them.

As for her Earth family, she has some recipes she usually makes to remember them by, as well as her adopted mother's hairstyle- the high braid.

4. Can Your Character Cook?

Since recipes were mentioned before, yes! She's best at making hispanic cuisine, especially her adopted mother's signature dish- pazole! Her other favorites to make are pretty much stealing from my own palette so lots of more ethnic foods.

5. Does Your Character Have a Best Friend?

At this point in the story, she'd probably consider Shadowheart the closest thing to a best friend so far. As for her Earth friends, she did have two who she was going to reach out to before the mind flayer ship took her. Their names were Hannah and Arianna- and they were all in a band together in high school!

6. Their Biggest Fear?

Ofelia's biggest fear is feeling like she'll never belong anywhere. She only had a real family once, and they were taken from her when Bhaal did his fun little possession thing that he does. Aside from them, she's met nothing but terrible people using their positions for their own gain and not caring what happened to those around them. Friends were either killed off by Bhaal when he was able to latch on from so far away or were forcibly removed from her life when she was moved to another foster family. Knowing that she hasn't been able to make genuine connections- whether it be by those means or self-sabotage out of fear of eventually losing them- is something that haunts her the most.

7. Name One of Their Red Flags.

She's generally okay, but I feel like her spells of falling victim to her father's influence are a pretty big one. Chapter 8 was not a shining example of her self-control, lol. She's quick to anger, and will most definitely fly off the handle if she feels like she's been mistreated or disrespected. Not to mention her less-than-stellar track record with communication- which will be biting her in the ass pretty soon in the story.

Again- thank you for tagging me! Sorry this took ages to complete, I have asks to get to as well and I am working on it! (today is pretty shitty, I have to go back to an insane amount of emails at work after being on vacation as well as the overall crap state of my country now, so I'll be fighting for my life lol)

[wwisteriiaa]

Matchmaking

Tyler Joseph x F!reader ( blurry face era )

Warnings: None :)

Authors note: I’d appreciate it if you guys request stuff! Check out my other work of Tyler if you can! I’m also writing a story on wattpad which it’s posted on my profile! :) anyway Enjoy!

You were Marks best friend since you guys were young, so when Tyler made Mark an creative director and other sorts Mark only had one request, to give you a job, so you were made the bands photographer and social media manager on their band page.

You were thankful for Mark to give you this opportunity to show your photography, and it was a great way to get out there which wasn’t bad as you’ve gotten a lot of request to do photos for weddings and birthday party’s and photo shoots since posting with the band.

_

Here you were taking photos of Josh and Tyler as they messed around behind the scenes of a music video for their new album Blurryface, you were laughing as Josh playfully bothered Mark with dumb questions. You were close with the boys it took while for you to warm up to them as you were only use to Marks presence as you guys grew up together but you warmed up to Tyler and Josh and they made sure that it was a friendship between all of you guys not just a work relationship.

You walked up to Josh’s drums and took a photo on your photo of Josh hitting the drum kit with his drum kit, “ Looking rocking in that photo right? Y/n ” Josh joked as you laughed and showed him the photo as he fist bumped the air “ Oh hell yeah! ” he said as you posted the photo.

“ Oh Y/n I gotta question? ” Josh said as he placed the drum sticks down, you turned your head to look at him, “ What’s up! ” you said as he smiled, “ A friend of mine wanted to know if you wanted to go on a blind date tonight? ” Josh asked, you thought for a minute, it was either go home and watch movies in bed dressed in Pajamas or take a risk and go on the blind date. You nodded, “ Sure why the hell not. ” You said with a smile as Josh nodded his plan working so far, “ I’ll text you the location. ” he added as you nodded and walked off.

Josh soon Motioned Tyler over to his drum kit, “ Hey a friend of mine wanted to know if you wanted to go on a blind date tonight with them. You know the suspense. I promise it’s no crazy fan. ” Josh asked Tyler as Tyler shrugged and nodded, “ Uh yeah sure, where? ” Tyler asked as Josh smirked, “ Uh The Refectory Restaurant at 6. ” Josh said as Tyler thought about it, “ yeah sure I’ll do it. But if it goes bad you owe me. ” Tyler told Josh as He nodded quickly understanding Tyler’s words.

-

The day went by quick for you, Josh already sending you the place and time to be there, you were at home getting ready settling in on wearing a nice Red dress of yours with cute boots you had.

You quickly walked out your apartment on time but also early around 6:50 you got to the restaurant and went in and sat at a table with a glass of wine just waiting on the blind date.

Tyler soon showed up wearing nice close to the restaurant and walking in looking around, he got a table not Far from you not even noticing you were here.

You sat there for a little bit and when it hit 7:20 you messaged Josh, “ Where is this dude at? ” You messaged as Josh sent back a smiley face, you stared at the text with a confused face before looking around the restaurant till your eyes landed on Tyler.

You sat there shocked, Josh was really trying to set you up with Tyler, Josh knew your crush on Tyler but it was small and never noticeable infront of people because you kept everything professional for the sake of yourself and to not ruin the friendship you guys made.

Tyler sat there waiting looking around till he saw you staring, Tyler’s face had a smile and waved you to come over, you grabbed your wine glass and told the waitress you were changing tables because you found your date. You walked to the table, “ Hey! Y/n what are you doing here? ” Tyler asked as you shrugged, “ Josh said he had a blind date for me that’s why I’m here, though it seems I was stood up but I wasn’t expecting you to be here also waiting for someone! ” He continued.

You signed and laughed as you sat across from him sipping your wine, “ Yeah I was also here for a blind date. ” you laughed a bit shrugging, you soon got a text, Tyler looking at his own phone seeing as he got a text too in a group chat with Him, Mark and Josh and you, “ Enjoy your date! ” Josh sent with a smile as Mark sent a photo of you two at the booth from outside. You groaned embarrassed.

“ they are idiots. ” you whispered softly as Tyler sat there confused before understanding, “ You were my blind date? ” He said as You nodded, “ I kinda figured since it would be weird since Josh set us up to the same restaurant and on blind dates. ” you said as you sat your phone down.

“ I can leave though and we don’t have to speak of this again? ” You said as Tyler shook his head, “ No it’s fine, I’d love to have dinner with you. ” Tyler said with a sweet smile looking at you.

“ I just thought it would be weird, we work together and you know. ” You said as he continued to shake his head a small laugh coming out his mouth, “ Y/n I’ve liked you for awhile I think that’s why Josh did this, and I’m kinda grateful for it because I definitely wouldn’t have had the balls to do it. ” Tyler joked as you smiled, your heartbeat beating faster as you learned Tyler had the same feelings as you, “ I like you Too Tyler, like actually had a small crush on you. ” you laughed.

Tyler smiled and nodded, “ well let’s good to know, well let’s start this date then. ” Tyler said as the waitress came over to take your guys orders.

[elementoftheeye]

All the way back from 2007. my wife asked me the other day... my birthday... is there anything you have not done or anything that you would change in the past... THAT is a bit of a loaded question. The quick answer was, I really don't know. Of course what comes out of my mouth and what goes through my brain and heart are generally different. If it weren't that way I would be locked up on some island somewhere... or most likely not of this earth anymore. I will stick with this question in the realm of photography: I have no regrets about how I started in photography... I was young, had taken some art classes as a child and seemed to have an eye of it. In my teenage years, I remember everyone making fun of my dad for cutting off tops of heads with his snapshots of family. Probably around age 15 I found my dads camera. A 35mm Petri35 rangefinder. I never saw him use it but I grabbed it and loaded some color film. No idea what I was doing and teaching myself along the way... Badly I might add... I created a bit of friendship and respect with the camera. I loved aligning the images in the view finder, the smell of the back of the camera, and the heft of the camera... the light click of the shutter. Those memories are vivid to me. I took pictures of my friends and their cars, trees and flowers... then the next stage of life was the Army. I have a Pentax K1000 and a zoom lens. More photos of friends and maneuvers in the field. Travel photos, I was stationed in Oklahoma, California, Germany & Pennsylvania. Binders of 35mm negatives and color slides... to be destroyed by me through my ex wife... That is a regret ( I should have taken those binders and all of my gear. ) Jump ahead to a new life, a new 35mm Pentax ZX30. It was a good camera but felt like plastic, lightweight and cheap... Digital was in full swing by then and I got a Canon 20D... and my first trip out west to shoot with professional models... probably my next regret can 10-15 years later when I stopped shooting with models. I became a little bitter that I was not able to afford the fees. I was shooting with friends and we were splitting the fees, but I still wasn't happy. I felt self conscious when working closely with even friends... I soon just stopped making up bullshit excuses... and now I pull up old photos like this and relive my happiness if only for a few minutes. I tried to get back to shooting models maybe 5 years ago, and my experience was less than good. The model was rude, rude in front of another photographer and model. I just walked away... never got back on the proverbial bike again. That's a lot to unpack... one of the things I did as a photographer was print images for my models... this is Savannah Costello, I had sent her 5 large mounted prints from our shoot. She messaged me when she got her 1st house and thanked me because she had our photos to hang on her walls... Maybe another regret in this digital world is how many photos live on an old hard drive or only in digital realms...

[onewiththeother]

((Hello! This is actually my first roleplay blog so yeah :,) If I use (()) brackets that means I am OOC and talking as the admin of this account B) however this entire post is OOC so let me just drop the brackets rq))

Okay, there we go.

Hey! This is an alt RP account (my main is @thealexisreal!!!!) I have for my That's Not My Neighbor OCs!!!! This post will basically explain all there is to the blog and the basic guidelines for interacting :)

ABOUT THE OCS

GARRETT CLIVESDALE - "THE MARKSMEN NEVER MISS!"

If you've come here from my main, I posted a small description of him. If not, let me run down the basics of garry :33

Garrett Clivesdale was a professional baseball player playing for a team known as the Red Marksmen, a local baseball team carrying home a winning streak. Garrett is awfully arrogant about the winstreak and tends to boast about it a lot, though this just makes him come off as a bratty child at times. He's very passionate about baseball and tends to talk about it when no one cares. He's overconfident and believes he's on top of the world, and WILL get pissy when he fails. However, he holds grudges and tends to be really petty and rude to people he believes are his enemies :( He is quite nice to people he likes though, and will always try to spoil them... Mainly with food. Especially burgers. If you wanna get with him enjoy burger dates forever theyre his favorite food

His text will be red.

ESPEN SOLHEIM - "...Wait, what was I gonna...? Wait--"

Espen is another news reporter (I made him before I remembered Isaack was a reporter... they're coworkers now :).) He's paranoid and timid, a stark contrast from his cheerful ID photo. Constantly seeking affirmation from others, he's constantly unsure of himself and always overthinking. He actually found out about doppelgangers a few months before measures began to be taken to keep people safe from them, and since then he has grown to be a shell of his former self, still holding scars from his first doppelganger encounter. He's scared of new people and often sticks to people he's familiar with, see Harvey.

His text will be orange.

COLE WAGNER - "Oh, I've been waiting for an opportunity like this~ I'm so excited..."

Cole is a waiter at Nana's, a diner near the apartment complex that Garrett is a diehard regular at. As a result, the two are close friends. Cole himself is cheerful and outgoing, if not a bit mischievous and enjoys drama. He's known for spreading rumors and misinformation with the guests at Nana's. However, his laid-back and cheerful attitude remains even in serious events, and he often lets jokes slip when he's not supposed to. He doesn't like being serious because he gets really awkward in those scenarios. He's also very loud and annoying.

His text will be blue.

AGATHA BARNES - "Nothing to be afraid of, no need to worry."

Agatha is a photographer, though she usually dresses like the models she photographs. She's friendly and often hypes others up, constantly attempting to bring good vibes. She's similar to Cole in a way that she enjoys the company of others, but when she gets serious, she becomes uncharacteristically stern. I honestly have no idea what else to say for her besides the fact she's basically a mom friend.

Her text will be green.

HARVEY CLARENCE - "I was forced to be on this god forsaken blog."

Harvey is the doorman to the complex (for my au (do i even call it that?) at least). Stoic and lacking a sense of humor. He's not easily persuaded and is often incredibly stubborn.

His text won't have any color TEEHEE

OLIVER GRANTHAM - "A lovely little feast, all laid out for me...?!"

Oliver is a doppelganger who had replaced one of the D.D.D.'s cleaners. Since cleaners usually wear a hazmat suit, and since Oliver took the real one's ID, he wasn't noticed until he took off the suit, giving away his bright pink eyes (that he has since pink is his favorite color). He now dons a mouth-only gas mask to tell him apart from the others, mainly because he's under heavy supervision all the time. Childish, excitable, curious, yet stupid, it's a miracle how he managed to infiltrate D.D.D. ranks. He doesn't seem to be hostile to humans, though, but he was practically taught to attack doppelgangers. He thinks a certain few r cool tho :)

His text will be pink.

okay enough about them beats up everyone aforementioned LET'S GET TO THE RULES!!!

RULES AND STUFF

If you don't follow these rules, expect a block.

Please be respectful. We may have differing opinions, and I'd like you to respect them. I know you guys probably aren't the type to start drama on these kinds of posts, but if you're going to comment something rude, just don't. Your comment will be deleted anyway.

Absolutely no NSFW. I am a minor, and seeing that kind of stuff repulses me so much. Lightly suggestive jokes are alright, but NSFW interactions are just a no.

The basic DNI criteria: Do not interact with this blog if you're:

LGBTQ+phobic, racist, or a bigot in general

A Z00/P3D0PH1L3

A com/darkshipper

And...That's about it! thanks for actually taking the time to read this :,)

[homo-rebel]

Paparazzi

Vinny, the (soon to be) number one fan x influencer(bimbo/himbo)reader

Tw: just some cursing, not said towards anyone

He didn't care for you at first.

He didn't even know you existed tbh

Vincent, he prefers Vinny, was a photographer and nature was his calling, so why spend time on the internet

Likes? Leaves were preferred. Comments? Talk was cheap, the wind weaving through the trees could do talking.

He touched grass any chance he gets, he didn't need losers on the internet telling him to do something that was a daily routine.

(he was kind of a pretentious asshole, he didn't have many friends either)

So when he was at the local park taking photos for an college assignment (somehow doing something you enjoy after being told makes it less enjoyable, even photography wasn't safe) He didn't recognize you at all

You were one with the crowd, a blank face subject for his art in the background

So it was a surprise when you broke the mold and decided to interact with him

"Excuse me!"

His eye twitched. The willow tree he was in front of wouldn't move but being interrupted was still annoying

He turned his head over his shoulder, a scowl on his face

"What."

You blinked, ignoring his attitude, and gave him a grin

"Hiii, well I was over there and I noticed that you were, like, taking photos and stuff?"

'And stuff' What was wrong with you?

"So, like, me and my friends were wondering if you would, like, take photos for us?"

By then his whole body had turned and he stared blankly at you.

Seriously, who did you think you were?

He asked and you laughed

it wasn't condescending at all but good natured and joyful

Your laugh being cute didn't excuse your audacity, but he considered it a bonus

"You don't know me? I'm [internet handle] I thought I was, like, pretty popular but I guess not."

You weren't offended at all, in fact you seemed happier than before

He sighed and rolled his eyes

He didn't have time for this, his professor was a hardass and he didn't need more unessessary criticisms for being distracted

"No thanks, I'm pretty sure your iphone 54 or whatever will work just fine."

Another (cute) laugh

"I only have a iPhone 5, silly!"

God you were adorable insufferable

He turned back to the willow, wanting to get back to work

"On no wait! I have, like—"

Rustling was heard but he ignores it even though he was curious

"—$50 and uh, um, strawberry gum!"

Professionals charged much more, but he wasn't exactly professional, was he?

The two packets of beef ramen in his dorm could use company anyway

(strawberries were also his favorite, but you didn't need to know that)

"Fine, whatever."

"Yaaay!"

He let out a startled shout as you dragged him over to your friends

They were... somehow worse than you

You were annoying sure, but at least you were cute and seemed to be genuine

But they were just assholes

He felt like a worm surrounded by a bunch of judgemental butterflies as you explained everything

The $50 (and strawberry gum) would be worth it though

The photos he took of your friend group were....

disappointing

To say the absolute least

Stock photos, basic, vanilla, corporate, a dime a dozen,

Those descriptors seemed to stick to the photos like glue

He cringed, he stopped his assignment for this

The only thing that stood out was you.

Looking through the photos his scowl lessened as he focused on you in each one

"So do they, like, look nice?"

You peeked over his shoulder, the man hunching over his camera

"You look great." He mumbled out absent mindedly, still looking at the photos

Before you could question him, a girl from your group spoke up

"I hope so, seeing as we're paying for it."

His eyes slid over to your friend in disgust.

Who the fuck was she? She wasn't paying him a cent and had the gall to complain?

The others had their phones out and were in their own digitized world

He scoffed and showed you the photos glaring daggers at the free loader

You seemed satisfied (judging by your squeal of excitement) and placed the money and unopened pack of gum in his hand (unneeded but appreciated)

"Do you, like, need my number and my email or, just like, one?"

He didn't need your number, why would he want to hear you when he didn't need to?

He gave you his notepad and pen and asked for it anyway

"Oh you, like, never gave me your name!"

"Vincent, but uh call me Vinny"

You grinned sweetly at him, and he looked away

His face felt hot, he shouldn't have worn his hoodie

You waved your goodbyes as your group left, being the only one to do so

He didn't count the stank eye the freeloader girl gave him as a good bye

He stared as you all drove away, and the quietness settled back onto the park.

He popped some gum into his mouth headed to his dorm, it was too crowded for pictures now as the nearby elementary school had let out

He wasn't angry, surprisingly. He always hated missed opportunities to get things done sooner when possible

As the flavor left the gum in his mouth and he reached for another he think he knew why.

He opened his dusty old laptop as soon as he got in his dorm, ignoring his hunger to open up Safari

He hoped you weren't the type to spell things weirdly, it'd make it a bitch to find you

(Request are open!! ❤️)

[bad268]

Hi! So for a request for ransoms characters you would write for would you write something for either Michael Gray x reader of Finn Shelby x reader where reader gets a camera and is super excited to show it to her bf. So she goes and takes a bunch of photos 1 day with him of random things (him, his friends, the car, Cyril, etc) later when she’s developing them she realises that he took some cute photos of her and him when she wasn’t looking❤️❤️

Anything for You (Michael Gray X Reader)

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Requested: Clearly (I strayed a little, but I hope you still like it <3 Also, happy new year everybody!)

Warnings: none.

Pronouns: You/Your

W.C. 1441

Summary: The reader (gn) gets a new camera for their birthday, and they receive a surprise upon developing the pictures.

As always, my requests and ships are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Google/Peaky Characters)

You were a photographer at heart, that’s what everyone told you. You had taken an interest in photography when you were really young. Your parents had an obsession with getting family pictures every year, but you hated how big and heavy the cameras were. When you turned 16, Kodak revealed a small, handheld, portable version of his original camera. You bought the cheapest one you could find, and the rest was history.

You knew this would be how you make a living for yourself; by taking pictures, and it was through this that you met your boyfriend, Michael. He had been looking to get some pictures made for his mom and came across you at a nearby market. You were already taking pictures of the landscape, so he just approached you.

“Do you do that professionally?” He asked.

Being only 17 at the time, you shook your head. “No, I’m not. Just practicing, but hopefully, one day I will be able to do it professionally,” You answered with a smile.

“Oh no worries, love,” he responded with a smile as well before holding his hand out, “My name is Michael Johnson. Who might you be?”

“Oh, I’m Y/N L/N,” You shook his hand. He pulled it up to place a kiss on your knuckles.

“If you’d be interested in practicing portraits, my mother is looking to get some family pictures done soon,” He offered, and the rest was history.

You were by his side for everything from his brother’s birthday to when his apparent ‘uncle’ showed up at the farm. You stayed by his side even when he moved to Small Heath with his birth mother, Polly, and became a member of the Peaky Blinders. While it may not have been the safest option for him, you stayed by his side through it all.

And even though he was in a dangerous gang, that did not stop you from continuing your passion, and he did not try to stop you. He actually encouraged it! He knew how hectic and demanding his family was, so anytime you could sneak away to do what you loved to do was a semblance of normality.

However, you noticed that your camera was starting to deteriorate, so you made a small comment about it to Michael. You said how the pictures were not coming out as clear as they used to, and it was just a generally old camera. Almost immediately after you mentioned it, Michael ran to the store in search of a brand new camera for your birthday. He ended up finding a prototype Kodak that looked more advanced than any other camera he had ever seen, so he was excited to see your reaction.

“Happy birthday, my love,” He greeted you with a kiss as soon as you woke up. You returned the kiss as you sat up in the bed. “How did you sleep?”

“Great, I had you next to me the whole night,” You laughed back, placing a kiss on his cheek. “But what are we doing today? Family meeting or something illegal?”

“No,” He chuckled while shaking his head. He leaned back to grab a wrapped box from under his bed. Then, he handed it over to you. “Start with this.”

“You didn’t need to get me anything, love!” You exclaimed, ripping through the packaging immediately. He laughed at your antics as he collected the wrapping. Once you registered what it was, you let out a gasp, “No way! This must’ve cost a fortune!”

“That’s for me to know, and you to never find out,” He laughed, pulling you into his arms. He place a few kisses on your temples as you buried your face in his neck, muttering ‘thank you’s. “I’d do anything for you, love. Now, come on! Let’s go take some pictures!”

You did not need to be told twice as you were out of the bed and in the restroom in a blink of an eye, and you two were on your out the door within 20 minutes. You took his hand and led him through the streets on Small Heath. Passing by the betting shop, the Garrison, and you did not stop until you reached the waterfront because that was one place you had always wanted to take pictures.

“Go,” You pointed toward the shoreline. Michael looked skeptical, but before he could complain, you continued, “You are my muse. If I want my first pictures on my new camera to be of you, who are you to stand in my way?” That was all it took for him to be convinced.

You were out there all day. You were taking as many pictures as possible before the sun went down, and once it did, you both made your way to the Garrison where you met up with his cousins and mother for drinks.

Unfortunately, the next day, you had to get back to work. The betting shop was not going to run itself, and Michael needed to get back to his Peaky Blinders business. What you did not know was that Michael was working in the betting shop that day, and he dedicated his time to taking candid photos of you throughout the day. Polly, Esme, and Lizzie caught him a few times, but he signaled them to not say anything. You would just randomly hear them laughing before suddenly stopping when you ask them what is so funny.

You tried to ask Michael about his day when you go back to his room, but he just responded with extremely vague terms. That just made you assume that it was a bad day, so you did not press him any further. Climbing into bed, you let it go.

About a week later, you remembered all of the pictures you took at the waterline, and decided you would go get the pictures developed. You went to a little shop around the corner from the Garrison to get them printed. The lady running the shop said she would expedite your prints, but it would still take a couple of days to get them all. Confused as you did not remember taking that many pictures, you still accepted before leaving.

You stopped at the Garrison where Michael, Isaiah, and Finn were laughing at one of the tables, so you decided to join them for a drink. Polly and Esme did not expect you back at the shop for another hour, so you had time to kill.

“What made you stop by here?” Michael asked, throwing his arm around your shoulder as you took a drink of his whiskey. “Hey, that’s mine! If you want one, get your own!”

“I don’t want a whole drink,” You deadpanned, “Plus, I still need to go back to the shop after this. I was getting photos developed, but the lady said she couldn’t get ‘em all done today, so I’ll have to go back in a couple of days.”

“Oh,” he laughed.

“You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?” You accused.

“No, I don't think I do.”

Well, he lied. When you went back to pick up the developed photos three days later, you saw the pictures of Michael you took on your birthday as well as some candid pictures of you around the betting shop. Some were really cute and some were random but you knew immediately that Michael had taken all of them.

You were sitting on your bed, looking through the pictures, when Michael walked in. As soon as he registered what was in your hands, he started laughing as the first one he saw was you yawning. “You like those pictures, love?”

“I won't lie, some are cute,” You admitted as he sat next to you looking through all of the pictures. You ended up finding one that was stuck to the back of another one, and it was a candid of you and Michael. He was caging you in with his arms against the wall as he kissed your forehead. Immediately, you knew Polly or Esme must have taken it as it was taken from the end of the corridor. “This one, though. This one is my favorite.”

“That one is pretty cute,” He said, taking it from you, and leaning it on your vanity. “Is it safe to assume you like the camera?”

“Like it? I love it! Michael, I love you so much! Thank you for the best gift ever,” You said, setting the photos to the side as you buried yourself in his side. He returned the hug, placing multiple kisses along the crown of your head.

“Anything for you, love.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2023. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[idowhatiwantspock]

The night before my wedding I slept over at my Person of HONOUR's place with her and her wife.

Her wife had set up a beautiful little display for my arrival and joined us after her show was done for the evening.

We worked on last minute art tasks, and I wrote down my vows

(definitely made my fingers cramp but so worth it for the ceremony)

We ate snacks and smoked together outside and I helped them finish painting a bench for their dining table. It was such a relaxing and love filled evening after a busy afternoon and before an early rise and loooooong day.

Woke up at 8 a.m. for one last pick up that required my signature and then back for a bath and some breakfast before heading out late to go to the venue.

My (now) husband got a migraine after dinner the night before so their morning, while as early as mine, was much less pleasant and consisted of hugging a fancy hotel toilet bowl, lots of different liquids, and a long nap before also heading to the venue late.

When we got to the space I immediately got to work helping set up and do last minute tasks and delegation. Took zero photos, that's why we hired a photographer.

The ceremony started almost an hour late but Elliot was feeling much better and all of our guests were happy to listen to the amazing pianist play while they waited.

Photos were a little rushed and I got the most anxious I had felt all day after waking up the calmest and most certain I've ever felt. But communicated really clearly and we got to the reception only about half an hour late!

The cake cut and first dance were quiet and very well documented by everyone around us. And I grabbed the instax camera Elliot had got for the wedding and started taking photos of as many guests as possible. We now have a STACK of photos to enjoy while we wait for the professional ones to be edited.

We stayed till the very end of the evening and I barely helped with clean up because they were doing so well without me. I felt a little lost but in such a supported way.

We got a ride home and spent a lovely grounding moment with Elliot's sister and boyfriend before staying up way too late unpacking and re hanging our bedroom art and looking at the unexpected number of gifts and cards we received.

We slept till the afternoon and had a slow day with some friends who dropped off an apple pie for us (and an early birthday gift for me) had a much needed, very hot, bath for our aching joints. And finished out the evening by watching Pride and Prejudice (2005) which I love and my husband had never seen.

I feel so incredibly lucky and so excited for this next chapter of our relationship.

Tomorrow two of my boyfriends are marrying each other and on Wednesday Elliot and I leave for our honeymoon! I am so looking forward to resting on the west coast with them after such a busy last few months.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

hi s i absolutely ADORE you can(t) teach old dogs new tricks. i just wanted to know what images you have of steve and bucky when you picture them for the series. idk if you’ve mentioned it already but i would love to know

Aw, thank you! I'm glad you enjoy it!

I don't think I've put any actual images out there and... it's just as well 'cause I don't think there are really any images that exist for the exact look I imagine for them.

Basically, I'm imagining Steve older than we ever see him in the MCU (not counting Old Man because... he doesn't count) with almost entirely silver hair (shaved short sides and a longer quiff-like top) and a salt and pepper beard. Bucky is young, like, 40s Bucky before the war but with his longer hair. The Wakandian Jesus look, y’know?

A more drawn-out answer could be the character outlines I have in my original plan for the series (so don't mind the horrible grammar, haha):

Steve Rogers

Same/similar background

Brooklyn

Poor

Mom was single (Dad died before Steve can remember him) & poor, an immigrant from Ireland, a nurse in Hospitals around the area they lived

Mom died of cancer when Steve was in high school

Raised Irish Catholic

Uncircumcised

Born in 1969 (54)

Sexual Orientation

Gay

Ma had a feeling he was… she could probably tell… but he never told her before she died (she died when he was 17, and spent the rest of high school bouncing around between friends' houses until he graduated)

Left Brooklyn

Came to San Fransico to find new people & work (came out in San Fransico by the time he was 19)

Started as a photographer, and had a good eye for it (film camera w/ dark room development)... moved from scenery landscape photos to photos of people to fetish photography through a boyfriend (a past Daddy)... then slowly integrated more and more into the kink scene, was a boy for a long time, sold photos of himself, then photos of his subs… his professional dom business took off

(two coming outs, one coming out as gay, the other coming out as kinky w/ his kinky lifestyle)

Epidemic

1981 to early 1990s (AIDs epidemic)

Lots of friends died during HIV/AIDs crisis

He survived the HIV epidemic

Old-guard Leather & BDSM / Occupation

Leatherman

Professional Dominant

Sex worker

People pay to have scenes w/ him

Bondage & impact play are his specialties BUT he does a lot BC he’s been in the scene for so long

Was a photographer B4 pro dom… casual then a fetish photographer

Appearance

Blue eyes

Greying hair (salt & pepper)

Hair is short on the sides and a little longer on top

Beard

6’2” & 260-ish lbs

Obviously works out a lot…

His arms and shoulders are huge and his stomach is soft (a belly but when he flexes it’s pretty hard under a layer of fluff. His whole waist is wide, though). Also. He has an unfairly round and pert butt

Needs glasses when reading

Fashion

Often in a t-shirt & leather jacket with dark wash denim when casual

When domming… leather: leather peaked cap, leather jacket, leather shirt + leather tie (or leather vest w/out a shirt under it), big, wide leather belt, leather pants (or leather chaps on top of dark Levi jeans)

Usually prefers tight briefs as underwear

Aaaand Big, leather boots

Collar

Steve's play collar is black leather with silver hardware. It has a silver o-ring on the front, two o-rings on the side, a silver padlock on the back, and all around the collar there's a silver chain overlaying the leather. He had a good friend and BDSM gear craftsman make it for him, originally with the intent to collar someone else, but... it never ended up happening, Steve got a different collar instead, he just fucking loves this collar. It reminds him of the plain chain and padlock collars he used to see all the time at the leather bars and bathhouses. Rugged, masculine, junk-yard-esque collars.

Bucky Barnes

Background

Grew up in modern New York

Brooklyn (he was growing up by the time Steve had left the area for the West Coast)

Middle class

Parents are alive, Dad is an alcoholic (mean drunk) & Mom did the best she could, but they don’t talk often

Circumcised

Born in 1997 (26)

Sexual Orientation (1)

Gay

Came out when he was 18 (2015, June 26, when all 50 states legalized gay marriage)

Religion

Parents are both Jewish… Bucky goes back and forth with it… he isn’t practicing actively, but… it’s a little hard to leave the faith completely behind after being raised that way

Sexual Orientation (2)

Leviticus 18:23 & Leviticus 20:13 (Torah)

Mother was speechless, she nodded and grabbed his hand, when she turned away, Bucky saw her eyes were glossy (crying)

Sober father made him write out passages again and again and again and again after he came out, believing that it was a problem to be solved

Drunk father yelled at him, saying that he couldn’t believe his son was this way, he tried to do everything right!

Bucky wasn’t kicked out, but he didn’t exactly feel safe… so he left and lived with a friend (at their parent's house until he could afford to rent a place of his own)

He occasionally speaks to his Mom, but more often, he speaks to his sister. He doesn’t speak to his father.

While in NYC, he dated one guy for almost 2 years (stayed until he was 23) and went on a few dates w/ some more guys

Since moving to San Fransico he’s dated around more (23-26)

He hasn’t connected w/ anyone really... COVID-19 pandemic

Sexual Experience

Has had vanilla sex... kind of bored by it

KNOWS he's interested in kink

He’s topped in vanilla sex and the power he got from that, he liked… he wants more… more power dynamics

Wants to be a dom

Restraints really appeal to him (cuffs, rope, etc.)

Occupation

Web Developer

Codes

Works online (he used to go into an office in NYC, but when he expressed his decision to move & put in his 2 weeks, they didn’t want to let him go... online now)

Designs the front-end (the parts of a site a user interacts with) & back-end (the behind-the-scenes part) of sites (referred to as “full-stack”)

Doesn’t have a degree, he took classes in high school, then a few through the nearby community college, and was good enough to get hired, then he’s been building his career since then

Appearance

Long dark brown hair (often pulled back into a bun when he’s working on something)

Steel blue eyes

Stubble (short beard)

6’0” & 200-ish lbs

Works out... nice arms & NICE legs

Has a good amount of body hair, he obviously manscapes, but it’s dark & thick

Fashion

Around his apartment, he’s often in just a t-shirt and basketball shorts (or sweatpants)

Wears a lot of jockstraps

When he’s not home, he’s in a lot of ripped jeans (black) & t-shirts (loves his denim jacket) + he always has his dark aviator sunglasses BC his eyes are sensitive

I hope that was somewhat interesting 💀💀 and that it gives you a clearer picture! Thanks for the ask <3

[deanwinchesterscumrag]

One Last Night

word count: 2k

warnings: drug use and idfk

a/n I just started reading conversations with freinds and I couldn’t stop picturing Nick as Pedro Pascal and I need this. I can finally sleep now. 

summary: Kenndy and Dylan have been bestfreind since they were kids. They started acting from a young age and one night after an after party for a show they filmed a photographer, Eleanor, asked to write a piece about them. After Kenndy met Eleanor’s longtime boyfriend, Pedro something seems to be happening between them. 

Dylan and I first met Eleanor at an after party, for a show we were filming. Eleanor took our photo outside, with Dylan and me smoking. I was checked out, holding my cigarette in my right hand gripping my left wrist for dear life, as if my wrist was going to get away from me.

Eleanor used a big professional camera and had multiple expensive-looking lenses in her special camera pouch. She talked to us and smoked while taking our pictures. She complimented our performance and we talked about her work, which we had come across online. When the bar closed Eleanor told us we were welcome to come back to her place for a drink. 

We all got a uber back to Eleanor's place. Dylan sat in the middle with his head turned to speak to Eleanor, so I could see the back of his neck. Eleanor gave the driver an address in Tribeca and I turned to look out the window. I felt excited, ready for the challenge of listing a stranger’s home, already preparing compliments and certain facial expressions to make myself seem charming. The house seems insignificant, it was a red-brick building with a scrawny tree outside. Under the streetlight, the leaves looked orange and fake. I was a big fan of seeing inside of other people's houses, especially people with money. As soon as I step into her house I decided I was going to remember everything about here home, so I could describe it to my other friends later and Dylan could agree. 

When Eleanor let us in, a little red spaniel came racing up the hall and started barking at us. The hallway was warm up the lights were on. Next to the door was a low table where someone had left a stack of change, a hairbrush, and an open tube of lipstick. There was a Modigliani print hanging over the staircase, a nude woman reclining. I thought: this is a whole house. A family could live here, “We have guests!” Eleanor called down the corridor. No one appeared so we followed her into the kitchen. I remember seeing a dark wooden bowl filled with ripe fruit, and noticing the glass conservatory. Rich people, I thought. I was always thinking about rich people then. The dog had followed us to the kitchen and was snuffling around at our feet, but Eleanor didn't mention the dog so neither did we, “Wine?” Eleanor said, ”White or red?”

She poured huge, bowl-sized glasses and we all sat around a low table. Eleanor asked us how we'd started out acting. We had grown up together and both and had a love for acting and as child, I was a Broadway actor, as teens we both got casted into a teen show and we’ve been acting ever since.

Eleanor had her camera on the table and occasionally lifted it to take a photograph, laughing self-deprecatingly about being a "work addict." She lit a cigarette and tipped the ash into a kitschy-looking glass ashtray. The house didn't smell of smoke at all and I wondered if she usually smoked in there or not. “I made some new friends”, she said.

Her boyfriend was in the kitchen doorway. He held up his hand to acknowledge us and the dog started yelping and whining and running around in circles. “This is Kennady”, said Eleanor, “And this is Dylan. They're actors.” He took a bottle of beer out of the fridge and opened it on the countertop.

“Come and sit with us,” Eleanor said.

“Yeah, I'd love to,” he said,” but I should try and get some sleep before this flight.”

The dog jumped up on a kitchen chair near where he was standing and he reached out absently to touch its head. He asked Eleanor if she had fed the dog, she said no. He lifted the dog into his arms and let the dog lick his neck and jaw. He said he would feed her, and he went back out the kitchen door again. “Pedro’s filming tomorrow morning in Canada,” said Eleanor.

We already knew that the boyfriend was an actor. He and Eleanor were frequently photographed together at events, and we had friends of friends who had met them. He had a big, handsome face and looked like he could comfortably pick Eleanor up under one arm and fend off interlopers with the other.

“He's taller than I thought,” Dylan said.

Eleanor smiled as if "tall" was a euphemism for something, but not necessarily something flattering. The conversation moved on. We got into a short discussion about the government and the Catholic Church. Eleanor asked us if we were religious and we said no. She said she found religious occasions, like funerals or weddings, "comforting in a kind of sedative way." “They're communal,” she said. “There's something nice about that for the neurotic individualist. And I went to a convent school so I still know most of the prayers.”

“We went to a public school,” said Dylan, “It posed issues.”

Eleanor grinned and said:” like what?”

“Well, Kennedy was a SUPER big nerd and dragged me down with her,” said Dylan, “ And Kenndey is also Jewish and went to Jewish summer camp.”

“I also don’t think I remember any of the prayers,” I said.

We sat there talking and drinking for a long time. I remember that we talked about the poet Patricia Lockwood, who we admired, and also about what Dylan disparagingly called ‘pay gap feminism’. I started to get tired and a little drunk. I couldn’t think of anything witty to say and it was hard to arrange my face in a way that would convey my sense of humor. I think I laughed and nodded a lot. Eleanor told us she was working on a new book of essays. Dylan had read her first one, but I hadn’t.

“It’s not very good,” Eleanor told me,” Wait till the next one comes out.” At about three o’clock, she showed us to the spare room and told us how great it was to meet us and how glad she was that we were staying. When we got into bed I stared up at the ceiling and felt very drunk. The room was spinning repetitively in short, consecutive spins. Once I adjusted my eyes to one rotation, another would begin immediately. I asked Bobbi if she was also having a problem with that, but she said no.

“She’s amazing, isn’t she?” said Dylan, “Eleanor.”

“I like her,” I said. We could hear her voice in the corridor and her footsteps taking her from room to room. Once when the dog barked we could hear her yell something, and then her husband’s voice. But after that we fell asleep. We didn’t hear him leave. ***********************************

Dylan and I had first met in pre-school. As a teen, I was very opinionated and frequently spent time in detention for a behavioral offense our school called ‘disrupting teaching and learning’. When we were Fourteen I got my nose pierced and we took up smoking. Nobody liked us. I got temporarily suspended once for writing ‘fuck the patriarchy’ on the wall by the principles office. There was no feeling of solidarity around this incident. But Dylan was considered the show-off.I found school easy, I was always smarter than the teacher and knew everything they were teaching so I found that seeking off and skipping class challenged my mind; finding a way to get off campus, seeking past the school cop, lying my way of getting out of trouble. When we were fifteen we had to attend a fundraising dance in the school assembly hall, with a partially broken disco ball casting lights on the ceiling and the barred-up windows. Dylan wore a suit that made him look like a twelve-year-old at their school graduation and looked like he hadn’t brushed his hair, but he still looked amazing. He was radiantly attractive, which meant everyone had to work hard not to pay Him any attention. I told her I liked her dress. He gave me some of the vodka he was drinking from a Coke bottle and asked if the rest of the school was locked up. We checked the door up to the back staircase and found it was open. All the lights were off and no one else was up there. We could hear the music buzzing through the floorboards, like a ringtone belonging to someone else. Dylan gave me some more of her vodka and asked me if I liked him. It was very easy to act unfazed around her. I just said: “sure.”

I wasn’t betraying anyone’s loyalties by being Dylan’s girlfriend. I didn’t have close friends and at lunchtime I read textbooks alone in the school library I was lonely and felt unworthy of real friendship. I made lists of the things I had to improve about myself. After Dylan and I started seeing each other, everything changed. No one asked for my homework anymore. At lunchtime, we walked along the car park holding hands and people looked away from us maliciously. It was fun, the first real fun I’d ever had. After school, we used to lie in his room listening to music and talking about why we liked each other. These were long and intense conversations and felt so momentous to me that I secretly transcribed parts of them from memory in the evenings. When Dylan talked about me it felt like seeing myself in a mirror for the first time. I also looked in actual mirrors more often. I started taking a close interest in my face and body, which I’d never done before. I asked Dylan questions like: “do I have long legs? Or short?”

At our school graduation ceremony, we performed a spoken word piece together. Some of the parents cried, but our classmates just looked out the assembly-room windows or talked quietly amongst themselves. Several months later, after more than a year together, Dylan and I broke up. It wasn’t of our will thought, my father didn’t approved of our relationship. He threatened me that if we didn’t separate there would be consequence. My father, Tony Fitzgerald, he is a business man. By business I mean crime, he hates when I say hes in the mob because apparently thats not what it is, “Now damnit Kenndy I’m in the ‘family business’ you stop that shit now!” He would yell at me. Me and Dylan tried to stay together but some of the men that works for my father threatened Dylan. He never told me what happened but he came back with a black eye and will not step foot inside my fathers restaurant so I can only assume what happened.

***********************************

Eleanor wanted to write a profile about us. She sent us an email asking if we were interested, and attached some of the photographs she had taken outside the bar. Alone in my room, I downloaded one of the files and opened it up to fullscreen. Dylan looked back at me, mischievous, holding a cigarette in his right hand and pulling on his fur stole with the other. Beside him, I looked bored and interesting. I tried to imagine my name appearing in a profile piece, in a serif font with thick stems. I decided I would try harder to impress Eleanor next time we met. Dylan called me almost immediately after the email arrived.

“Have you seen the photographs?” He said, “I think I’m in love with her.” I held my phone in one hand and zoomed in on Bobbi’s face with the other. It was a high-quality image but I zoomed until I could see the pixellation. “Maybe you’re just in love with your own face,” I said.

“Just because I have a beautiful face doesn’t mean I’m a narcissist.” I let that one go. I was involved in the zooming process still. I knew that Eleanor wrote for several big literary websites, and her work circulated widely online. She had written a famous essay about the Oscars which everyone reposted every year during awards season. Sometimes she also wrote local profiles, about artists who sold their work on Madson Square Garden or Time Square; these were always accompanied by beautiful photographs of her subjects, looking human and full of ‘character’. I zoomed back out and tried to look at my own face as if I were a stranger on the internet seeing it for the first time. It looked round and white, the eyebrows like overturned parentheses, myeyes averted from the lens, almost shut. Even I could see I had character.

We emailed her back saying we’d be delighted, and she invited us over for dinner to talk about our work and get some additional photographs. She asked me if I could forward some copies of our work and I sent her three or four of the best pieces. Dylan and I discussed at length what Dylan would wear to the dinner, under the guise of talking about what we should both wear. I lay in my room watching him look at herself in the mirror, moving pieces of his her hair back and forth critically.

“So when you say you’re in love with Melissa,” I said.

“I mean I have a crush on her.”

“You know she’s taken.”

“You don’t think she likes me?” said Dyan. he was holding up one of my white brushed-cotton shirts in front of the mirror.

“What do you mean likes you?” I said, “Are we being serious or just joking?”

“I am partly being serious. I think she does like me.”

“In an extramarital affair kind of way?” Dylan just laughed at that. With other people I generally had a sense of what to take seriously and what not to, but with Dylan it was impossible. He never seemed to be either fully serious or fully joking. As a result I had learned to adopt a kind of Zen acceptance of the weird things he said. I watched him take his shirt off and pull on the white shirt. He rolled up the sleeves carefully.

“Good?” he said, “Or terrible?”

“Good. It looks good.”

[pedrosfrownline]

As of yet untitled:

Pedro shall be referred to P as I find using his real name a bit too cringe. I haven’t found a character of his that I can relate this scenario to though!

Slow burn

Fluff/flirt

Set a few years in the future.

Reader is F mid 30s. There will be descriptions of her body and looks but nothing too specific or niche.

I have no access to a computer or tablet for formatting. This is just written off the cuff. Off my phone!

- I’m 15 years of rusty when it comes to writing! Be kind.

Let’s begin.

You’ve spent a long time getting yourself to this point. Endless trips up and down thrift shops isles. Teaching yourself to sew well enough to get by. Working for free for small publications. Paying for photographers and models to even wear your work. The constant networking at hipster fashion events. You are older than most of the people you’re pandering to. It’s humbling and sometimes you wonder why you bothered trying.

You’ve always been creative. Creative but shy. Unable to paint, or write. Acting makes you cringe and whilst music is a passion it’s something you consume. What has always inspired you is fashion. Bowie in sequins, Mercury in leather, Bolan in feathers. Stevie Nicks spinning around in lace and velvet. Siouxie Soux and her painted face. Prince reigning supreme in purple.

Whilst working dead end jobs you collect vintage pieces here and there. You wear a few, sell a few, and when word gets around you start to dress local bands. Your name gets thrown around a little on social media. While the world wakes up to fast fashion and its effect on climate change and even human rights, vintage style comes back in a big way. You aren’t the sort of person who predicts the big future trends, but you are the sort of person that can inject that bit of nostalgia into a photo shoot on a hip new artist whilst appealing to the feel good factor of reusing and recycling old materials.

While your following was getting larger, your bank balance was getting smaller. It was during this time your relationship fell apart. In part finances. In part your time away from home. Largely though the flame had fizzled. On two entirely different trajectories there were no words left to say to each other. While painful it wasn’t resentful. But it did push you on to get paid for your efforts.

It was while attending an event in a small London basement bar your arm was taken by a woman you recognise. She introduces herself as Jas Ryder. She has a small group of professional types around her, you assume her “team” her vibe is typical bright young thing. Tight dress, some sparkles, probably costs far more than it looks. You wonder why she’s talking to you.

“I’m nominated for a BAFTA”

You nod politely.

“I saw your work on Instagram last week, my friend shared it”

Ah. You’ve had this conversation a lot now. She’ll want a free outfit. She’ll wear it to the ceremony. She’ll forget to credit you literally anywhere and you’ll sit at home with your beans on toast wondering how you’ll pay your phone bill this month.

“Oh wow that’s great. Glad word is getting around.”

“I wondered if you’d like to style me for it.”

A suited gentleman next to her pipes up

“This is my card. Email me your rates of pay and your terms and we’ll take it from there”

You take his card and smile. Pleasantly surprised.

And from there things really took off. She actually won that night. And she won in a marvellous silk gown that had been created from various bits and pieces in deep jewel tones to create a subtle patchwork. She was a delight and shared your name in every photo. Your phone started to ring with more offers of work. Some even stateside.

One such call was to work as a stylist on a mini documentary series chronicling the successes of various actors across the Star Wars franchises. It was to be mixed media with online and print interviews and they needed clothing for both. You was invited to bring a small capsule wardrobe of key items and were encouraged to be creative. The payment for this job would be enough to live comfortably for a few months. And they offered to cover your entire travel and stay if successful.

You start to wonder who the actors might be. You’re ashamed to admit your knowledge of Star Wars really starts and ends with Harrison Ford. But, they got your name from somewhere. They know what your about.

You pick up your keys and take a trip to the storage unit you now rent for what is quickly becoming a museum of various items of fashion. A small table and sewing machine in the middle. Lace currently thrown over it, in a late night gin addled attempt to make a sexy bandage dress made out of lace doilies. You were utterly unsuccessful.

You know it’s for a man, so that discounts most of your work. You start at your suits. Varying levels of flamboyance. Immediately you are drawn to a plush burgundy velvet. No labels inside. Probably hand tailored in the late 70s. Only a small flare. Conservative. You grab a basic crisp white shirt, and your favourite of all the male shoes, a Cuban heel. Actors are usually shorter than you expect. It helps to give them a sneaky lift. You think about the brief. “Capsule” they want statement pieces that can be interchangeable and mixed and matched to make several outfits and comfy.

You have a lovely collection of Levi’s built up over a decade. A slim bootcut jean will work well with the cuban heels, you grab a black leather belt and look at some shirts. You’re thinking Americana. Star Wars has always been so American. Bowling shirt. Bingo. You have a lovely olive green silk shirt with gorgeous embroidery all over it. It’ll catch the camera light perfectly. It’ll also be a great interview outfit. Comfy. Looks good tight or loose. You then pick a lovely black floral shirt to match the original suit. You figure it shows who you are, referential, and assuming your actor isn’t too young, it’ll be classic. You can’t dress Mark Hamill in tech wear now can you?

You’re packed and good to go. Sewing kit, the suit dry cleaned and pristine. You’re fairly certain you look good. Flared jeans, white shirt with balloon sleeves, suede waistcoat pulling you in on the waist. Baker boy hat covering some roots that are well overdue. Cowboy boots. You had to. It’s your first time in America.

You’re met by a polite man in a Tesla. He’s charmed by your accent. You make small talk. You’re nervous. Before you know it you’re in the building. Being ushered into a small room. There’s a rail, a tiny fold out table, a steamer and a room divider making a makeshift dressing room of sorts. By that there’s a dresser and a full length mirror. You quickly unpack, accessories on the table. Shoes by the dresser chair. Suit, shirt, jeans placed on the rail. You quickly touch up your makeup after the phenomenally long journey and stifle a yawn as a tall, slim and impeccably dressed white haired man comes into the room. You make small talk with him about what you do, your environmental ethos, who you’ve dressed before, who you’d like to work with in the future. He takes photos of the outfits. He explains he shows the outfits to the actors and they’ll chose who they like the look of. You nod, smile and he’s gone.

You pace around a bit wondering how many other stylists were invited to this. How far in their career they might be. Do they have the keys to Dior collections? How many of them trawl eBay looking for bell bottoms?

The man returns, not alone this time.

“Hi, my name is Pedro, nice to meet you”

You hold out your hand. He’s a familiar face to you. A handsome face… A very handsome face.

You croak our your name in response, possibly the first time being Star struck in this job and before you can say anything else both men are walking to your station. They’re touching the suit. P laughs at the Cuban heels. Not in a mocking way, just in a sort of knowing way.

You breathe and steady yourself.

“What do you think?”

“Did you think I was short?”

I answer truthfully

“I didn’t know who I might be dressing. They might appreciate a lift. We all like a longer leg right?”

P motions to the dressing area. “May I?” You nod.

A small blush creeps over your nose. Of all the actors. It would be the man that was your hall pass for the best part of 15 years. You are very acquainted with his roles. Even the Star Wars one, though in your defence you didn’t really see him so you didn’t really pay too much attention. It hadn’t occurred to you it could have been him. It had been years. Truthfully you’d forgotten.

“Like a glove” he reappears in that wine suit. His hair a little more peppered with white, smile lines a little deeper. But still striking. You’re going to need to tailor the jacket slightly. It’s too tight in a few places though you won’t say so right now. You can tell in his body language white haired man agrees with you, but also remains silent.

You blush again at the thought of having to measure him and remain professional. You think to yourself you really would have rather been dressing Harrison Ford…

“You’ve got the job. We’ll get you set up at the apartment and the job starts Thursday at 3pm. It’ll be wrapped by the following Wednesday. As a goodwill gesture you get the apartment for an additional week to see the sights of this wonderful city. We’ll call when the keys are ready, grab a bagel or something”

P was already back in the corner getting dressed. Baggy white t shirt, green shirt over the top. Loose jeans and brown boots. You can’t imagine any of it being designer. Comfortably worn in. You hang back a little waiting to take the suit off him. You mentally prepare for it to be handed back in a crunched up bundle but it’s folded carefully. You put it on the table

“I um… may I take some measurements before you go? Or if you have someone that can send me accurate ones that’ll be fine… I Hmmm… I noticed the jacket was maybe a little tight across the shoulder, I can let it out slightly. Same on the waist of the trousers”

“Calling me chunky?”

“Gosh no, it’s just not made for you but I want you to be comfy and look your best.”

He laughs, obviously pulling my leg

“My assistant can send you my numbers”

You nod. Slightly deflated that you won’t need to measure him at all. He leaves. You pack up your stuff and wait for the call for keys.

You’re still good friends with your ex

“You’ll never guess who it is” you text him in the escalator

“Who?”

“*this is the way*”

“Get out of here! How did he smell?”

“I’ll find out for you”

[pbandjesse]

I needed to be distracted today. And I think I did a good job. But I still wish I had done more. Tomorrow I will try to clean and organize the apartment and that will make me feel better. But I got a lot of stuff done today that I can be proud of.

I did not sleep well. I couldn't fall asleep. I tried getting James's arm over me because I thought the weight would help but they were very asleep and wouldn't budge. I went and had a snack and was able to sleep around 2.

James woke me up to say goodbye. And I reset my alarm for an extra hour. I wanted to sleep more but I know sleeping past 930 makes me feel terrible. So I would get myself up and would stretch and try to feel alright. And I did feel alright. But I absolutely needed to be distracted.

I got dressed and felt ugly. My hair felt stringy. I just pinned it back and tried not to think about it. And went to eat the omelette James made for me.

I texted James for their laptop pin and got to work on the wedding book. I know it's almost been a year but I finally feel like I am in a place to make this. And it took a lot of work. For most of today that is what I was doing. From around 10 until 3 I was editing photos and placing them.

Editing took a while. The photos our photographer did are beautiful but almost all of them are crooked?? Like only by 1 to 5 degrees but it's wild. So it was just a lot of small editing. I think she was trying to make us look more the same height? Or sometimes it was hills or steps. But I went off the structures in the background and I'm much happier with them.

I had a ton of trouble getting the photo book maker to not lose all my progress. So eventually I figured out how to make the choices on the laptop and then upload them and they were still not in order but I got used to it. It was about 225 pictures so it was a lot of work but I was having fun.

I thought I was going to use the auto generator but I ended up not liking the redone layouts. So I made a smattering of layouts and started placing my pictures. And it felt special.

One of the reasons I felt driven to do this was because I felt like I needed to find Sabrina in my pictures. I was just looking for her in the background a lot at first. I am sad I didn't have a picture with her but it is okay. I was glad her smile was still in there. I needed to see that.

It was a lot of work though. And eventually the laptop was dying and I went and plugged it in but continued to stand at James's desk and worked on the layout. I wanted it to be done. Well not done. But I wanted all the professional pictures set. Then we can play with the phone and friend photos.

I also made the dust jacket. Because I want this to be a hardcover and I was able to fit our vows on the flaps. And I just love it. The cover might be my favorite part so far. James really gassed me up over it saying how clever and good it was. Made me feel really nice.

I would make a little sandwich which Sweetp tried to steal once I moved back to the couch. But I kept working until the last photo was placed. I could call it done for now.

I was glad to get away from the computer. I turned the ac back on and got some of my plushies to sew. I did not finish all of them but I am pleased with what I got done.

I was looking forward to James coming home. They made a stop at the grocery store. And then when they got home they were all sweaty but I was really happy to see their face.

They looked at the whole book pdf and I was really proud and they had nice things to say about my layout choices.

They would make me french fries and a salad for dinner and it was perfect. Even if the bowl has a silicone sleeve around it and it was full of water??? Gross. Once we got that off the salad was great.

James played DND with their friends. And I took a shower and washed my hair and it helped me feel a little better. I just want my hair to be longer. I'm going to grow it out. So I have to hair be okay with it being a weird length for a while.

And now I am in bed. Trying to not have anxiety about getting to Sabrina's funeral. I don't like writing that. Tuesday is just going to be a lot. And we're probably going to be late but I'm going to do my best to not freak out about that. I just need to be there and give everyone hugs because the connections and coming together is the only thing I know how to do.

Tomorrow I am going to clean. And organize. And then we are going to the state fair tomorrow night. I hope that is fun. I hope it's a good distraction.

Goodnight everyone. Until next time.