#my friend that was into old k pop stuff has been ranting to me

[pumpumdemsugah]

Modern k pop as a genre and the fanbase are interesting because most of it seems to be dedicated to willing these girls to be able to dance and sing adequately then lying that they did.

It's sad how much they're trained but aren't very good or at least the industry enables bad habits and it's not like the genre demands much vocally . Maybe it's because k pop idol stuff is mainly geared to teens so it feels kind of dumb to me, especially the dancing.

Many seem to enjoy being involved in k pop fan stuff more than the actual music. The way they release new girl groups like a new phone is crazy and the fact " visuals" is role like singer or dancer. It's very open that they're products.

[mlink64]

Ch.1🍼Step Out: 24 Makes 1 Team *A Stray Kids and Ateez (Strayteez) Combined FF*🍼

WC ~3K

Meet our MC and learn how she winds up here...

Intro here

FINALLY I'm getting to this 😭 life has just been life'in and I have had zero motivation to finish this up (which is so dumb because it was basically all written, it just needed to be edited)

If you prefer wattpad you can find it/me here

Eventually I'll get masterlists pulled together for all my stuff but, baby steps (pun very much intended)

Y/N reads through the article again with a sigh. Lijoon had assured her that it was accurate, aside from not including Daesong - KQYP is still keeping him a secret for the time being. However, Y/N still hadn’t decided if the article eased her nerves or made them worse. Being a nanny for seven children under 7 is already a daunting task…but add idol parents into the equation and she’s in completely unknown territory. Lijoon had assured Y/N that KQYP was excellent about security and protocols, as well as communication in general but still…

 Y/N’s been in childcare for almost 10 years, but she wasn’t sure if she could do this.

How did I get myself into this…?

*One Week Prior*

“I have a proposition for you Y/N-ah” Lijoon says, her tone becoming serious. 

Y/N puts her drink down and gives the woman her full attention. 

“The group I nanny for is going on tour soon and obviously, I will not be along for the ride,” she begins, her hand on her pregnant belly. 

It made sense, she was just entering her third trimester, and if the tour was a long one they might not even be back by the time her due date comes around. 

Lijoon nannied for a very popular K-Pop group, so popular in fact that she hasn’t been allowed to tell anyone who they are in the year or so she’s been working for them - even Y/N. She had to go through all this craziness and sign a million forms and NDA's when she started. All she could ever say was that it was a big group with several members who were the parents of young children.

“Okay, what does that have to do with me?” Y/N asks nervously, despite already having a bit of an inkling as to where this was going. 

“I want you to take my place as their nanny”

Whup, there it is.

“I don’t know…” the younger trails off nervously.

“Come on girl! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - you are meant to do so much more with your life than whither away in a shitty daycare center that doesn’t appreciate you!” she rants.

Only three years apart, Lijoon and Y/N were like sisters - and like a real big sister, Lijoon could get a bit protective of the younger woman. The pair has been through a lot together, meeting when Y/N was hired at the daycare center where Lijoon was working at the time. Y/N was only a few years out of high school - both excited and terrified to have landed a job at such a ‘high-end’ center; Lijoon took the girl under her wing almost immediately. 

When they met, the older woman could tell right off the bat that Y/N was born to work with children and that she was meant to do big things - and she’s spent the last few years trying to get Y/N to see it too. The past year in particular had been particularly traumatic for Y/N, and Lijoon knew that the 25-year-old needed to venture out of her comfort zone, the daycare center, and spread her wings. It was time - and she told Y/N as much. “You need to get out into the world, Y/N-ah! I know the last few months have been hell for you, and regardless of how often you insist that you’re fine, I know you’re not. This could be your opportunity to change all of that! Show him that he can’t break you, Y/N!” 

The younger tenses at her friend’s words, but before she can reply her phone alarm chimes - alerting her that her lunch break is almost over. She gets up with a sigh, tucking her phone in her purse and grabbing her to-go cup. Lijoon sends Y/N a small, understanding smile and stands to hug the woman goodbye. 

“Please, just think about it. As much as it hurts, you’ve got nothing holding you here anymore, Y/N-ah” Lijoon murmurs, pulling away. 

With a nod, Y/N makes a silent promise to Lijoon that she’ll genuinely think things over. 

The woman settles back into the booth and watches as her younger friend leaves the cafe and heads out into the chilly winter air. 

Lijoon’s words echo in Y/N’s head for the rest of the day. She’s right of course - Y/N knew full well how shitty her daycare gig was. Despite being there for almost five years, she’s still overworked and underpaid; not to mention the toxic politics of the center which were never in her favor. The staff was catty, the director was rarely in the building, and the parents were rude and entitled. So when Y/N finally gets to her car that evening - exhausted and on the verge of tears for the third time that week - she takes a few deep breaths and dials Lijoon’s number.

An email comes that evening with an interview date. 

Two days later Y/N sits in the bright, modern lobby of the KQYP building. She still doesn’t know which group the job was for, but the fact that they were under KQYP was already making her nervous; Y/N didn’t know much about K-Pop (or pop culture in general), but even she knew that KQYP represented dozens of well-known groups with fans all over the world. 

Twisting one of her rings in time with her breathing, she tries to stay calm and grounded.

Relax Y/N, it’s just another interview…

Before she has time to overthink some more, she’s pulled from her thoughts when she hears her name. Standing in front of her is an older woman wearing a KQYP ID Badge that reads ‘Choi Hwayoung’ and holding a clipboard.

“Yes, that’s me” Y/N answers, looking to the woman.

Unbeknownst to Y/N, the elegant woman is the primary assistant to the CEOs themselves and usually acts as a first “test” when they’re hiring new people at the company. She’s been with the CEOs since the beginning and has become a shockingly good judge of character over her many years working in the industry. Just like Lijoon had, Hwayoung can immediately tell that there’s something special about Y/N. Something in the pretty girl’s big eyes just catches her attention right off the bat- a kind and caring warmth that Hwayoung just knew put everyone around the young woman at ease, whether she knew it or not. 

“Come with me please,” she says with a smile.

Y/N follows the woman through the halls until they reach a sleek set of double doors. With a quick knock, the assistant pushes open the doors and ushers Y/N into the large boardroom before announcing her.

“Lee Y/N”  

“Thank you very much,” Y/N says with a bow to the assistant before turning to face the rest of the room. 

The respectful action does not go unnoticed, and when the CEOs make eye contact with Hwayoung she gives them a smile and a subtle nod of approval before she backs out of the room, quietly pulling the double doors shut. 

Test number one, check. 

Alright, let’s do this…Y/N gives herself one more quick shot of encouragement before smiling brightly at the room full of people. “Hello! Thank you in advance for having me!” she grins with a deep bow before taking a seat in the chair directly in front of her. 

The boardroom is long and open, with floor-to-ceiling windows on the back wall. There are several men and women on either side of the table and three men sit at the head, directly across from Y/N. One of the men she didn’t recognize, but she realized with a start that the other two were the KQYP CEOs themselves - Park Jinyoung and Kim Kyuwook. 

The duo were infamous for their opposing personalities; Kim Kyuwook stayed out of the spotlight for the most part, supposedly preferring the production side of things - the stuff behind the scenes. Park Jinyoung on the other hand acted more as the face of the company - notorious for his flashy, over-the-top personality. 

Nothing like throwing me right into the deep end… Y/N thinks, straightening up as she settles into her designated seat. 

“Hello, Miss. Lee - I’m Park Jinyoung, one of the CEOs here. This is Kim Kyuwook, my co-CEO, and this is Jung Eunhwa; he is the primary manager for the group you’re here for - he will be asking a majority of the questions moving forward, as he knows the group best” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” Y/N answers with another bow. 

“Let’s get right to it then; please tell us about yourself, Miss. Lee,” Kyunwook picks up where his partner left off. 

“Well, my name is Lee Y/N. I’m 25 years old, I have two younger siblings, and I grew up in Southern ChungCheon” 

Some of the people around the table nod or write down notes.

“What brought you to Seoul?” a woman on the left asks.

“I’ve always loved traveling and experiencing new things, and Seoul has had my heart since I was young so it was a no-brainer honestly” Y/N explains with a smile.

That and a few other things… she thinks to herself, but they don’t need to hear that story. 

More nods and pens scratching. 

“Now, Miss. Lee - I understand that you’re a good friend of the current caretaker, Kim Lijoon” the manager, Jung Eunhwa questions.

“Yes Sir, we met when we were both employed at D2D Daycare in Seoul” Y/N answers with a nod. 

“Lijoon is very highly regarded around here so her recommendation already reflects well on you, Miss. Lee”  Eunhwa says with a smile. 

His presence was very calm and collected and it started to settle Y/N’s nerves as soon as he spoke.

It’s just another interview, piece of cake, Y/N relaxes and they continue. 

After an hour or so they wrap up. “Thank you for coming in Y/N,” Eunhwa says with a smile, rounding the table as Y/N rises from her seat. 

They shake hands and then Eunhwa pulls open one of the big doors for her. 

“Hwayoung will show you to a waiting room while we deliberate” he nods.

Y/N walks out of the board room and sure enough, the older woman is standing right there in the hallway waiting. 

“Thank you again!” Y/N grins with another bow before following Hwayoung down the hall.

Little does she know, as soon as Y/N leaves the room fills with excited chatter. The employees weren’t being facetious when they had expressed their fondness for Lijoon during Y/N’s interview; even though she’d only been there a short while, the sweet young lady had already snuck her way into their hearts. Not only was Lijoon kind to everyone, but her vibrant personality was infectious. Plus, the way she took care of the band’s children was admirable. The kids all loved her and the boys have also mentioned that their children have seemed happier and more at ease since Lijoon had been caring for them. Even before the woman became pregnant and the company started preparing for her eventual maternity leave - Lijoon had always spoken highly of her co-worker. 

Y/N isn’t waiting long, barely a half hour after she leaves the first interview, she’s taken further into the building for another interview, followed by a round of background checks and some more NDAs. Eventually, Y/N is ushered back into the same boardroom from the beginning of the day. This time, instead of the room being full of intimidating employees, there are only three people at the table - the CEOs and Eunhwa. 

“Miss Lee, please sit,” the manager says with a smile. 

After returning his smile and bowing she sits down across the table from the three. “We know this is all moving quite fast, but we are inclined to offer you the position” he continues.

Y/N’s face lights up in excitement, her infectious grin warming the hearts of the three men and further cementing their decision. 

“Now, before you make your decision there are a few things we would like to share with you before one last interview” Park Jinyoung begins.  

“Alright” Y/N nods, giving them her full attention.

Will I finally get to learn which group I would be working for?! she wonders. 

“Before we continue, we have another NDA for you to sign Miss. Lee” the CEO nods.

He slides a document toward Y/N and thankfully, it’s only two pages. She reads through it quickly before signing.

“Alright, now that you’ve agreed to keep the identity of the group confidential we can share some more information with you”  Kyuwook continues. 

Y/N nods in excitement. “The group in question is Strayteez, our 16-member boy group” 

Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise, Strayteez was undoubtedly the most well-known group under KQYP right now; again, Y/N didn’t consider herself to be at all well-versed in pop culture but she certainly knew who they were…

“Now, for the last part of your interview, we’re going to bring in all the members to ask you a few questions of their own. It’s more of a formality though, as they’ve been watching our previous interviews and have already expressed their approval” Eunhwa says, nodding toward a corner of the room where a camera was mounted on the wall. 

Y/N swears her heart skips a beat when she hears that the members already think she would be a good match for their children, she has seen several reports expressing how much the members care for their little ones and for them to already feel that they can trust her is a massive compliment.

The door opens and Y/N is momentarily stunned at the fact that she’s all of a sudden meeting the group face-to-face. She may not be one of their fangirls, but she’s still about to meet some of the most famous 4th-gen idols in the business. With their faces plastered all over Seoul and the internet, Y/N knew what they looked like of course, but the members’ visuals still floored her as they entered the boardroom. Not to mention the aura that accompanied the group as they walked in - strong and powerful but also, completely at ease; They were in their element - calm, comfortable, happy. “Hello there,” Y/N greets, standing and bowing in greeting. 

Not all of the members are present, as Y/N only counts 9, but it’s still a bit overwhelming as they all settle in the chairs on the sides of the long table where the other employees had sat during Y/N’s first interview. 

“Nice to meet you, Miss Lee. I’m Bang Chan, and this is Kim Hongjoong, we are the leaders of Strayteez” begins a muscular man with dark hair. 

He gestures to another smaller man with blonde hair and they both bow in greeting.

“First off, we wanted to thank you for considering the position. We know it’s a difficult one but Lijoon-ssi has been in your corner from the start and we were all very excited to meet you” starts Bang Chan with a smile that revealed an adorable set of dimples. 

“Thank you all for giving me a chance.” Y/N smiles, a faint blush coloring her cheeks at such high praise from idols of their caliber.

“We wanted to start with any questions you might have about the position,” he continues. 

“I’m told that there are seven children. Who are the parents in the group?” Y/N asks, looking up at the men. 

Bang Chan speaks up again, “That would be Seonghwa - ” he started, gesturing to an elegant man with sharp features who shoots her a dazzling smile. 

“He has two girls: Reiyun is four and Tessa is one” the eldest leader continued. 

“Hongjoong. His son is Lukas, also four” he gestures to a smaller man blonde man again.

“Changbin’s son Hajoon is five” Chan nods to another man whose round cheeks were an interesting foil to his broad, muscular build.

“Wooyoung’s baby girl, Biao, is two” a cheeky boy with his hair tied in a ponytail grins at her.

“Felix has Emerald - we call her Eme - who is also four” Y/N can’t help but smile back at the cute, freckly man whose grin lights up the whole room.

“Then last is our maknae- Jeongin. His son Daesong is almost 6 months” Chan finishes, nodding to a young man with sharp, cat-like eyes.

A shy smile from the youngest reveals an even deeper set of dimples than Chan’s, and Y/N just wants to poke them and squeeze his cute cheeks. 

Ever the observant one, Seungmin can’t help but be surprised that she doesn’t seem to know the group very well. He’s not trying at all to be egotistical, but most people know them and at least a few details about everyone. Granted, they try to keep the kids out of the media as much as they can but still…he locks eyes with Yeosang across the table, and he can tell his hyung is thinking the same thing. Probably better that way, honestly, Seungmin muses, tuning back into the conversation. Half an hour goes by in a flash as they all discuss the kids and the position with Y/N, the boys all warming up to her surprisingly well. Unlike the previous interviews, Eunhwa remained relatively quiet this time - focusing more on how the boys and Y/N interacted. Being their head manager, Eunhwa knows the group inside and out and knows how to read their body language and moods like an open book. He had been impressed with Y/N from the start, but now he was even more assured in his decision. He could practically see all the boys relaxing as their conversation with Y/N progressed, which was not an easy feat.  

“So, what are your thoughts, Y/N?” Kyuwook speaks up.

“I would absolutely love to accept the position, but if it’s alright with everyone, I would like to meet the children before any decisions are set in stone,” she requests, earning strange looks from almost everyone present. 

“And what would that accomplish?” questions Hongjoong, a drop of disdain coloring his words. 

Why does it matter? Does she think she won’t like the kids? That would be ridiculous…he thinks, his ‘papa bear’ side coming out. Not just for Lukas, but all of the children. 

“As funny as it sounds, I want to make sure all the children want to give me a chance too,” she explains.

There are still several confused faces throughout the room, so Y/N elaborates, “If I’m going to be with them nearly every day, I don’t want them to dislike my presence. Sometimes kids just don’t click with people and that’s totally normal, but I don’t want to cross any boundaries” 

Her explanation makes perfect sense, but it still catches the room off guard - as none of them had ever thought about it before.

“So, if I’m understanding correctly, regardless of how much we like you, you would be willing to pass up the position if the children don’t like you?” Park Jinyoung asks incredulously. 

“More or less, yes. I know that thinking they’ll like me all the time is unrealistic - but I want them to be as comfortable as possible. I’m sure being on tour will be a little overwhelming for them at times, and I don’t want to add to their distress any more than I have to because, at the end of the day, their mental and emotional well-being is more important” 

For a moment, everyone is silent as they again contemplate her words. Then, Hongjoong’s previously serious face breaks into a huge smile. “I think that’s a great idea when you put it like that,” he grins.

[butchtwelfthdoctor]

just saw an annoying post so here we go

if you're emotionally attatched to good omens fanon crowley i would reccommend not reading <3 remember if you dont like a take you can always go find another one <3 curate your own fandom experience <3

it was some ask like 'omg i love the good omens collectivly agrees that crowley was friends with freddie mercury and hozier who wrote songs about his venting ahaha' like YOU REALISE THAT DOES NOT FIT HIS CHARACTER. SORRY TO BREAK IT TO YOU BUT JUST COS YOU'RE A HOZIER GIRLIE AND A LOT OF HIS WORK FOCUSES ON RELIGION AND THAT ONE SLITHERED HERE FROM EDEN LINE IS KINDA COOL DOESN"T MEAN THAT THE SIX THOUSAND YEAR OLD ACTUAL DEMON FROM ACTUAL HELL like your pop music i'm really sorry but it doenst fit his character he canonically has like one friend and a few people he doesnt mind so much he is not buddying up to your favourite celebrities/musicians just cos you think all your blorbos should like all the same stuff you do. the bentley playing queen is framed as an annoyance because hell is annoying, that he just kinda of got used to just cos its playing all the time why would he have been friends with the guy???? doesnt make sense?????

also current fanon takes on crowley annoy me so much he's always some whiney baby and look i love a good sopping wet and pathetic character as much as the next guy but we've sort of completely overshot s1 'i just lost my best friend' level of understandable grief and gone straight to him just being annoying????? like being mopey??? and i dont read a lot of fic but when i did he seemed to get portrayed a lot as like this submissive quivering mess like GUYS LITERALLY HOW DID YOU REACH THAT CONCLUSION???? HES NOT LIKE THAT. HE JUST ISNT. and he's always soooooo traumatised and like.... yeah! they've both been through A Lot but they also have fun and enjoy being alive and enjoy hanging out wih each other and going and getting coffee etc. they both enjoy life!!! and i get some people are projecting to deal with there own stuff and like cool whatever works for you is good and healthy but i see so many takes that are starting to warp the perception of how the characters really are? and people keep positing aziraphale as being manipulative and i mean. yeah a little but they're under a lot of stress here and probably heaven doesnt have therapy covering healthy coping methods and good relationships so i really dont think itsthat much to get hung up on. also. it's literally not real they're fictional, fiction characters who have Issues are wayyyyy more interesting to literally whats the problem.

like idk man if you love teh characters so much then why are you making so many changes to their fundamental characters idk.

back to teh music thing too like. he listens to the velvet underground. idk if any of the people who are hozier stans bothered to go listen to some velvet underground before they made their character playlist but pale blue eyes & i'll be your mirror are like the nice ones??? like go listen to sister ray and then tell me the guy whos been listening to that will find from eden interesting. and neil saying he was goth and then people seem to have taken that to mean 'wears black and has a tattoo and is grumpy' like nooooooooooooooooooooooo you missed it. you missed the point again. and teh person who answered the orginal ask was like 'ahaha yeahhhhh and aziraphale was friends with composers and all teh beautiful symphonies were about crowley ahaha' like AHSGNAJKNHSKAJNSKANHSKANAKSNAKSKAKKKKK . AHN. K. not everything in the go universe is about them like. sorry! good worldbuilding doesnt make Everything focused on two guys. just cos they're very important and have been very influential doesnt mean they're like. the only thing thats ever shaped anything

ok sorry rant over

[angelicpersonals]

A personal mini rant

Under the cut is just a small vent. Going through some things lately. I dont recommend having like 28 different friend groups, it sucks. My actual friends please don't read this, this is just to scream into the void at strangers.

Since I got sick like 3 or 4 weeks ago, I dont remember exact timeline anymore. My mental health plummeted faster, it was not the greatest before then and slowly deteriorating but it got worse worse worse. I have not had the support I needed from family or friends. Lets be clear I "make a lot of friends" but its mostly shallow and one sided friendships. Its "easy for me to talk to people" because I force myself to push down the crippling anxiety and I put myself out there as the butt of the joke making a fool of myself PERFORMING to be likeable. I have heard these things repeated to me by 8 different people the last 3 days alone when I was trying to get emotional support for my depression and loneliness. As for those 3 or 4 weeks. I had to be strong and supportive to everyone around me constantly during it even while sick I'd pop online and was helping people in DMs. A few people cared about my physical health. But mental? even fewer. Everyone thinks I have tons of friends that im beloved and have a huge strong support network. I dont. my "support" network consists of a "Well shit that sucks im sorry. So anyways about me-" for 99% of the people in my life. Theres the slim 1% thats actually there. Yet everyone thinks im so popular and lucky acting like I have no problems and if I do complain about problems its not as bad as everyone elses according to so many people and im selfish for even having problems. Im NOT. The "popularity" you see is because im the therapist and comedic f*cking relief. its not genuine support, its not encouragement. "but they react to your stuff with emojiis" Oh WOOOW yes, like they do everyone elses even STRANGERS. that doesnt make me special. "but they complimented xyz" oh so the occasional / rare compliment on somethings visual appeal like how HOT it is, makes it a supportive encouraging friendship that motivates and inspires me and feels good? Shallow temporary praise means NOTHING. Thats NOT friendship. I have to claw tooth and nail for anything in my life even to be included in hang outs. I have to INSERT MYSELF. Im never invited. If I leave a call 99% of the time im not missed or noticed or just get an "oh bye" yet everyone will worry over eachother when others leave saying they will miss eachother, asking if smth is wrong, etc. If I publically talk about my emotions 99% of the time it will be ignored except for the rare person like K, S and R. R who went pep talking EVERYONE one day. K & S who has been there every time I vent publically in my own server. If I vent in private it gets brushed over like "Shit I feel that way too, sucks for you" or worse I've gotten "you're so selfish" lately when I have said I didn't want to play a damn VIDEO GAME because I am mentally unwell. I will drop everything im doing and go through everything step by step with people pull out all my experiences to try to offer advice or support trying to find the right words to say taking it serious EVERY TIME. Does that sound like a fair equal friendship? When im supporting everyone elses emotions, mental health, dreams, art, writing, etc and I recieve 1% of that same energy back? Dont come @ me with how lucky I am says I get everything in life when I get ONE GOOD THING, I hear it EVERY time where as for me its a REPRIEVE from all the shitty things a RARE reprieve. I have heard this from too many people the past few days. Being in 25k debt as a household isnt lucky Getting to see 10 - 20$ of my 100$ a month isn't lucky. Getting 1k a YEAR isn't lucky Having breaking down old shit being unable to repair, afford to repair or afford to replace any of it, isn't lucky. Having to put in so much effort and energy into everything all the time in every aspect of my life even my family relationships, with no to miniscule and rare return, isn't lucky. Having constant disabilities and chronic illnesses / inherited illnesses fucking me up every single day and struggling through them isn't lucky. Im tired of feeling invalidated and minimized and having my pain ignored. Sincerely Fuck you K#2. A, P, R.

[madmadmilk]

One After The One PART 1 | Tom Holland x Reader

Tinder BIO | soft TEASER | PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | >>

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: What does one in a million even mean? Does it mean you’re the first of many or the fucking last? Does it mean that you’re somewhere in the middle? And what happens to the poor baby who ends up being the 999,999th one? Or worse, the one after The One? There ought to be some kind of prize for second to last, and second runner up. Especially when being #2 is your specific talent.

Warnings: Cursing, Suspicion, some Hard to Swallow Pills, and a million blurry pics

Word Count: 6.7K swipes left

Special Shoutout: Thank you @hypnotized-so-mesmerized for being a BETA for this chapter and for you lovely input!

-

“I can’t fucking believe you’ve got me fifth wheeling for this….” you sigh, as you blow strands of your hair away from your face. You walk briskly atop of the shifting sand behind your leggy friend.

All 5 foot 10 inches of her shakes with laughter as she watches you trip over yourself. She shrugs, “The more the merrier?”

You roll your eyes, resigning to a smile as she waves back for your hand to hold. You reach out and accept her offer loosely, allowing yourself to be pulled along.

“Come on, the boys are waiting.”

Right.

You watch the festival lights cast a warm glow at the edges of her silhouette. She smiles at you, bronzed, beautiful–– taken.

Over the past year, all your best friends started fucking dating each other.

Leaving you single, alone, and second best.

It wasn’t weird, it wasn’t unnatural–– but it quite literally happened over night. “This” is just your “new normal.”

You all still hung out, together, mismatched or separately. Nothing has stopped them from asking you to hang out, but there are times where you feel… The Line.

It was Common Sense tingling and telling you that certain occasions were more of a “date-night” rather than friendly get together. And the last thing you wanted to be was a cockblock to your own goddamn friends.

Like tonight, you were tagging along to the late-night-end-of-the-summer beach bar hop bash, with your two pairs of your closest friends. Sam and Ry, short for Ryan. And Liza and K, short for Erik.

Then there’s you, of course.

The three boys were waiting with drinks in hand, while you and Liza took your sweet time climbing the sandy stairs. This was the usual ritual, but you stood alone when you reached the guys. They paired off, easily, naturally, sweetly.

The vibrating radio-centric music drowned out the sounds of the lapping ocean, the conversation you walked into was near unintelligible, and the crowd was excited about something.

God, I wish that were me.

There wasn’t anything wrong with going to this year’s beach bash, as you go to it as a group every year–– it’s just that this time they were holding hands and you were holding a drink. It’s more sour than you’d like.

You were fine coming out “alone,” but who wants to be alone?

You greet one another with warm hugs and Liza immediately dives into a rant about officially moving in with K, and about how he doesn’t wanna mix his laundry with hers–– all those new domestic nuances. 

Sam rolls his eyes and exclaims, “Ry is the same fucking way–– like, it’s just cloth, babe.”

“Easy for you to say when all you wear is black––“ Ry retorts, pushing his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

Everyone starts with a snickering laugh, clinking beer bottles and recanting similar experiences.

Tonight you just don’t feel like it.

Living alone and sleeping alone is one of your specific talents. It’s been nice to have your own fucking bed, your own fucking room, your own fucking space–– all of it to just BE your own fucking self, by your fucking self. You’ve been this way for twenty-odd years now (kind of, you know what i mean). Love and friends are welcome to hang out, but at the end of the day, the place is all yours. And yours alone. That’s what home means to you.

“–– But living together hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be,” Liza smacks her lips, looking down in short embarrassment. She leans back against K, “There are good things too.”

Sam is quick to point out their PDA, and you take another sip of your drink. You would have spoken up to contribute about your own experiences, once upon a time. But that’s a sore topic you’re not willing to relive on this breezy night.

Instead, you laugh along, crossing your arms while propping your elbow on the bar. You’ll let tonight be as rosy as it can be with no time to dwell. Your drink is near empty, consumed faster than you remember. Someone taps your shoulder.

“Hey.”

You blink dryly, resurfacing. “Hm?”

K is rubbing the side of your arm, those hazel eyes darkened in the low light. His dark brows were raised high, “You good?”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course,” you answer easily. You hold up your drink, making a smug face and down it to his bemusement. You shake the empty bottle, setting it back on the table. “Always good.”

He nods slowly, looking over at the other three still gossiping amongst themselves. You couldn’t hear their conversation, but you can only imagining Sam and Liza were poking at each other by the way that Ry was smiling.

K swings his head back to you, “Wanna dance?”

“Sure.”

And you follow him, aware that, no, he didn’t want to dance. He wanted to talk.

You walk away with him, unnoticed by the others and tracing your finger across a brick wall. He stops, leaning against it and you do too. Looking over him, neat clothes and nervous face, you raise a brow.

“Sorry––“ he starts slowly, scratching the back of his neck.

“For what?” You laugh, scrunching your brows as you nod your head to the muffled music.

“This. It’s weird, right? Us. All of us, dating. That last year we were the ones single and you were––“ he sighs, pulling his lip to the side, “Last year was totally different. And now we’re all here, still together. Together-together.”

“Mhm, it was going to happen sooner or later,” you muse. K has loved Liza since Day One. And you and him have both known it, and what it means to him now. His dreams become reality every second that passes.

“Shut up,” he swats at your arm. You see the curl of his smile behind the embarrassment, “Nah. No. But this must be awkward for you, huh?”

You shrug. “Little bit. I’ll get over it, you guys are still my friends.”

His eyes search yours for the real truth. They were all so worried that them coupling up would ruin something, between themselves and with you. Ha. You told they they were stupid for thinking that. You believe in seizing the opportunities, in taking leaps and following your partner around the world–– in theory, at least.

They confided in you individually and you told them all the same thing. Tailored to their personalities, but in the same conceptual vein. 

“If it works, it works. If it doesn’t, then at least you tried and you don't have to spend another day wondering ‘what if..?’”

And they bought it. Now, that being said, you already knew that they all fucking liked each other so–– push her and push him and push him and him, and things will fall into place.

It’s just that… the new thing is that you’re the one out out of the loop. You used to be the first to know but now you’re last to find out. And that is strange.

You’re not their number 1 anymore. And there’s nothing you can say about it.

“You’re still my best friend, got it?” K leans his shoulder on yours and you rest yourself against him too. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Today, but not tomorrow.

It’s hard not to be bitter, and it’s horrible that there’s no remedy for it. FOMO is a new-age disease, after all. No science to sort it out yet, no justification to satiate it.

“So…. You talkin’ to anyone? Looking?” He asks too casually for a question he knew you hated. He bumps elbows with you and shake along with it.

“Nope,” your mouth pops at the “p.” 

He raises his brows again, and argh you hate that. There was always someone you were talking to, or someone you’ve been with. But not these days. These days you felt too tired to be someone’s ideal anything. 

“There are some cute guys around, looking at you,” his eyes twinkle a little too brightly for a straight guy with horrible taste. (Facts backed up by Sam, Ry, Liza, AND personal experience) “Plenty of fish, yeah?”

You shake your head, not interested. Sex could come and go, infatuation could come and go–– but you’re kinda tired of the short stuff.  But not exactly ready for a whole-ass relationship either. You don’t need to explain yourself–– you just know you wouldn’t last the night.

“Not in the mood,” you huff.

“Tonight,” he says suggestively, wiggling his shoulders.

You both laugh, you a little bit dryly. You try to direct his attention back to Liza and their budding romance, as the trio finds you guys again. At first they didn’t immediately stand coupled, Ry handing you a drink and Sam going to talk to K. Liza smoothed out her clothes and you all talked about some new plans. It was an honest good time. Ry spilled his drink on Sam, and complained about the laundry again–– Liza got waaaay too drunk and you and K were holding her in your arms while she staggered like Bambi.

It was nice and warm, and a lot like old times. 

I missed that.

You felt yourself smile and let loose–– not thinking of old ex’s or new flings. Just about the friends before you and how safe they made you feel, and how happy you are to see them happy. That’s love, right?

“Oh my god, look!” someone exclaimed, pointing a finger at the sky. You hear a loud clap.

As the night faded and grew colder, fireworks erupted into the sky with a loud crackle. You guys squealed and ran to the top of a sand dune, tripping and tumbling to see the dying summer sights. The fizzing calmed your calls. It’s funny how loud fiery skies filled you with the same awe every time. How it quieted you and made you feel small.

The couples soon held each other, soft embraces with their necks craned upwards. Their eyes twinkled from bursts of lights, smiling at the sharp crackles of sound.

Tonight was the one of many nights they would be able to spend in each other’s arms, so far away and close to you all at once.

This was the line you were cautious about–– you couldn’t talk to them when they were like this, out of courtesy. Out of honoring their moment.

You stood back, watching their excited faces instead of the bursting sky. You felt it. Not jealousy or bitterness, but the awful choke of curiousity and selfishness. The “what if that were me?”

It’s been a while since you’ve had arms wrap over your shoulders and kissed your hair. Enough time has passed for you to forget what that felt like. Too long? What was that like again?

The finale of fireworks struck across the inky, dark sky. You inhaled the smell of chalky smoke, tasting the salt in the air.  Lights and colors fill your eyes, unblinking.

You suck in your cheeks as it quiets and you can hear the ocean again. 

And you let yourself think, I want that again.

So with a new pulse, you went home and did the only logical thing in finding the next Love of Your Life.

You downloaded Tinder.

-

You avoided “serious” dating and being a “serious” anything to anyone, but seeing that “seriousness” in your friends made you wonder if you could be anything like them. If you were ready to open your heart to the possibility of loving and being loved.

Seriously. Sincerely. No bullshit.

This time.

At least, that’s what you told yourself as you messed around setting up a profile on Tinder. Regretfully spending way too long shuffling through old selfies that were engaging and enticing. You sigh as you pick through the lot, frustrated at the mind games that have already started.

It’s tiring.

And that’s probably why you end up cracking a few days later and end up telling Sam and Ryan. It was a short two word text, “Tinder. Help?” And you got a speedy reply from both of them (even when you knew they were most likely sat right next to each other). They were at your place in less than an hour.

Sam applauds your efforts, but is only there for moral support more or less. He’s an ace at the dating game, but has no patience to explain his ways. 

“Typical,” You and Ry hum, as Sam rifles through your pantry instead.

Ryan, quiet as he is, sat with you and looked through the photos you choose. He broke down the psychology of it all; about the aloofness and whatever–– which you understood. You need to try hard, but not look like you are. Effortlessness, funny, chic, digestible, likeable–– 

“Performative.” He says flatly, “But this is fast and simple.”

And you have to agree, looking at your phone in his hands.

You blink as you reflect.

This is so much easier in fiction, in those movies where people go on a million dates in one week and match with the hottest fucking dudes ever. Where the protagonist has the perfect amount of self-confidence to keep her moving forward, endless chances to mess up and and still get the guy… God, it’s so easy on paper. There’s no dignity to lose. But here? In the “real” world, even on an app you could delete at anytime–– to put yourself out there? Mortifying.

But, at least you’re bored enough to try.

So, what the fuck, right?

“Did you tell Liza and K yet?” 

“No, they would definitely try to set me up with someone real,” you laugh, leaning back on the couch. You wriggle your toes and tilt your head away.

Ry leans back with you with a brow raised, “Isn’t that… the point?”

Yeah, like, true. They have lots of friends they’re always trying to peddle your way, which is cool and all but… it’s a lot harder to pick and choose and ghost someone when you have mutual contacts.

He read the look on your face and nodded slowly, “Got it, got it.” He laughed to himself, perceptive and cautious. He extends his thoughts, “But you gotta tell us if you actually go and meet anyone. K would kill us if you didn’t say anything.”

“I won’t get into any trouble,” you squint, looking away from him mischievously.

“Uh-huh,” Ry affirms plainly as he swipes right on a few cute boys. 

-

Your experience with dating apps was limited–– you made a joke account a while ago and never really did much with it. Then you had a more “real” account that you never tried sincerely with. You had real people you dated at the time–– uhm. But now, now that you’re actually on here looking… it is bleak.

It’s a Saturday night and you’re winding down with a glass of wine swiping through your options. People you actually knew showed up, and you swiped that shit away so fast you almost chucked your phone with it. You flipped through people who looked fake for real, some older dudes, and plenty of people with vibes you didn’t like–– the pool is so wide you almost didn’t know where to start. And you could afford to be picky, sure. It’s just, who knew that “too many options” would actually be a problem.

You spend the next few days idling checking and chatting, not getting any viable catches. You felt like you were just peering into small windows, head in and head out. Nothing caught your attention long enough for you to want to look in further.

You even start poking at things you never wanted to acknowledge as real, like the impact of cheesy bios, and deciphering who was who in group pics, and the thrilling amount of dudes holding up fish.

Pretty wack.

You felt yourself grow tired of it again. The adrenaline was waning, burnt to the stump. Good thing you didn’t try too hard. Pfft.

You sleepily swipe away on your phone, too late into the night. You blink hard as you snuggle into your covers, muttering, 

“Just one more.”

Ah.

>>  check out the whole bio here <<

“T, 23. Friendly, neighborhood romantic,” you whisper to yourself. You crack a small smile.

After countless swipes left, and (1) accidental swipe right, you match with a blurry boy–– super sus, I know. You don’t know how it happened tbh–– there’s nothing to “look” at, but your eyes fell on this one. Maybe because you just watched “Far From Home,” and enjoyed this spidey reference. Or you’re just innately drawn to the word “romantic.” Could be either, easily.

“It’s a match!”

Shit. You mumble, your profile photos floating together. You take a second to look through his meager collection. They were all obscure and blurry and not exactly in the artsy way.

You couldn’t decipher much, only that he had fair skin (?), with dark hair and dark eyes, but even that was questionable. 

You’re pretty sure you matched with a bot or some old dude, or worse, a kid. You can hardly see his face in the pictures, blurry or cropped or covered.

Okay...

Is that his real name? Probably not. Is he actually 23? Doubt it. Is this going to go anywhere? Let’s hope not.

But whatever, it’s the first “match” that has seemed interesting in the past few days, solely on your pickiness. And this random bastards only gets you out of dumb luck.

You rub your eyes, and set down your phone, resigning to your stupidity.

You’ll deal with it in the morning.

Good night.

And the gears were set in motion as you slept.

You had a new message on tinder waiting for you, but you didn’t check the app until much later. You go through your Sunday morning routine, only opening your phone after a light breakfast and stretch. 

“Oh god,” you blink as you catch the red notification. You look around the room, preparing yourself for what could be anything. You take a deep breath and open the chat.

T: Hey

Oh. You stare at it, so bare with no personality to pick at. You wonder if you should even reply, but by the grips of boredom, you do.

You: Hey!

You set your phone down, trying to swallow the short thrill. You walk away for a moment. A reply comes within minutes.

And it’s a goddamn mess.

T: Sorry, i’ve never done this before.

Strike one. You suck in your cheeks. While you’re fairly new at this too, you… don’t know how much time you want to invest it in. Here again, you debate replying back–– but he beats you to it.

T: I’m trying to get over my ex

UHM? Strike two, you almost have to laugh. This is just testing your patience. Your jaw wriggles as you see he has more to say…

T: And you look a lot like her.

Damn. Strike three, he’s out. He’s got to know that would put anyone off, right? Why would you even admit that straight out? T? Come on, man.

You: i’m not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult.

T: it’s an apology now, i didn’t know what to say

You: you could have complimented my killer smile or the pic of me with a dog. Anything but that

T: Right, right. I’m such a dickhead. Sorry, it’s nice to meet you though.

You hold your phone away, debating whether or not you should just delete the entire goddamn thing because this was just too stupid–– but it’s Sunday morning and what do you have left to lose. 

You chew on the side of your lip, deciding to entertain “T,” but don’t spare him any soft words. You’d rather get straight to the point.

You: So… you go by “T?” And don’t have any real pics of your face? Are you even real???

T: Yeah, just private

You: kinda defeats the purpose of putting yourself out there though, right? Lol

T: It’s too easy if i put my face out there

You: oh, ha ha ha. So you’re saying you’re too hot to show your face? Love the confidence dude

And this is where you start actually laughing out loud. You wipe away tears at the side of your eyes, cackling at this display of internet confidence. It’s a tiny piece of amusement from a stranger you have 0 feelings for, and you’re not going to be mean to him… but you’ll definitely poke fun to see how far you can get.

Besides, he’s still replying back right? That’s almost hilarious in itself.

T: Hey, confidence is sexy, right?

You: yeah, more in person than online! 😂 (Laughing emoji)

You take a second to scroll back through his photos, and check to see if he has a link to instagram, twitter, anything. But he doesn’t. You try to pull up any evidence you can–– and at the very least, these blurry pics all look like they’re taken of the same person.

Slight build with dark curled hair–– rippable from any ambiguous online “hot boy” mood board though. 

You’re wary.

You spot a picture with his smile, crinkled eye and lifted lip. You could swear he looked familiar… but maybe that’s because you’ve seen that same white boy/model on Pinterest.

Maybe.

T: wanna meet up and see for yourself?

You: maybe if you show me your face first

T: can’t do that quite yet, but I’d love to keep talking to you

You furrow your brows as you read his words. He would be down to meeting up with you upfront, but hesitates to send you a picture beforehand? That’s definitely a red flag, right? Right?

(Yes. Yes it is.)

You pull yourself back and let out a deep sigh. You’re probably the only person he’s talking to, especially with those purposeful (?) blurry pics and cryptic everything. Ugh.

It’s not playing yourself if you know it’s fake right? You can step out of this at anytime.

You: as long as you can hold my attention :) 

T: I’ll try my very best ✌🏼 (peace sign emoji)

–– and with some very, very loose banter…. you end up exchanging numbers. You’ve put the whole Tinder thing on pause for now–– all four days of it. All for one stranger with no tact.

Unknown Number: hey, this is t (smiley face)

You: pfffft, I’m going to call you Blurry Boy. Since your name obviously isn’t T

BB: that’s fine with me :) mind if i call you darling?

You: ew

BB: o come on. It’s cute

You: please tell me you’re actually 23 or i swear to god I’m going to fucking lose it

BB: I swear 🤞🏼 (fingers crossed emoji)

You: ok. Prove it. Send me a pic of you–– you face or whatever

Ok. That’s a leap. He could rip a picture from anywhere but let’s see how fast he could do it. If it takes too long, then he probably did just rip it from the internet.

And if he makes a mistake and actually sends you a clear pic of himself? Well, that could only be seen as a win.

BB: 

But you are ruthless.

You: ok. Send me another one.

And he could stop if he wanted to.

Only, he doesn’t. In a short moment, he sends another picture.

BB:

Same room, same face, same glasses. I guess you could believe him… for now. No matter how shitty the photos have end up....

But he could also be one of those people with folders full of stock photos… you never know.

But putting paranoia aside, you decide to turn off the heat a lil. You grab your coffee and sit on your couch, sliding into a comfy position. You turn on some YouTube videos on your laptop, watching the first few seconds as you lean your cheek against the couch cushions.

Phew.

You: thanks…. sorry I’m so paranoid. But you truly have the worst pictures of yourself put up there. Potato quality.

BB: nah, i know. I get it. Haha it’s alright, a pretty girl like you needs to protect herself

You: oh BOY that doesn’t make me feel any better 😂(laughing emoji)

BB: fuck, sorry. Ugh that is fuckin creepy. Shit. I’m terrible at texting

You: no, no. It’s alright. Actually, great job with taking those photos so fast. Most people would have taken sooooo much longer. You get a few points for not holding back

BB: babe, i told you. I’m gorgeous. I don’t gotta worry about it 😂😂💕 (laughing emojis)

You: right, right blurry boy. Great job with all those fuzzy ass photos.  🙄 (Eye roll emoji) haha are you really looking for someone out here or…?

BB: sort of. I’m testing out the waters and… you’re really pretty

You have to blink back and roll your eye, you’re unable to digest this conversation as real. They’re flowery words given to you, for sure, but your suspicion is much stronger. Your guard will not let down or be appeased by some blurry ass dude calling you “pretty.”

He replies before you have the chance.

BB: i dont wanna get into the messy details but yeah. Company sounds great right about now

You: yeah, i feel that

It’s a real and valid reply, but it’s a terrible one. It’s so hard for someone to reply back to that–– but you’re testing his perseverance. If he finds something to say back, it might just prove one more thing to you. That he might actually be interested, and someone worth talking to.

BB: sorry i lead with my baggage, I’m a fucking mess

You: *a confident fucking mess

BB: thank you 😇 (angel emoji)

You: don’t worry about it, I’ve seen worse

 You laugh darkly to yourself. I’ve been worse.

BB: hahahaha thanks. Ok. But all that aside… real talk now. Can I ask you about the dog in your photo now?

You hate to admit that your lips curled into a smile, as you hastily type back. 

Your coffee was half drank and cold by now. The YouTube video you were supposed to be watching has moved onto part two. 

You eyes are still scanning your text screen, waiting to see those three bouncing dots at the bottom left hand corner. 

He’s not the worst–– and at most, even if this turns out to be fake, this is just your Sunday morning entertainment. Nothing more and nothing less. These are just insignificant texts that will probably lead to a few lost days, or mediocre sex at best.

So, whatever, right?

-

MONDAY MORNING

BB: good morning! ☀️ (sun emoji)

You: well you sure get up early. Good morning 

BB: Haha, I like to start the week as soon as i can. Do you drink coffee or tea in the morning?

You: coffee most days. You?

BB: i drink tea, darling

You: yeah that’s probably better for you haha. Less expensive too.

BB: mhm, definitely cheaper if you come over and i make you a cup

You: wow, the flirting starts the second the sun is up, huh?

BB: what, still too early? 

You: never too early

BB: do you brew the coffee yourself?

You: some mornings. I usually pop into XX Cafe midday if i can.

BB: catch you there? 😂 (laughing emoji) nah, i’ll have to check the place out. I don’t know this area too well.

You: i guess if you can find me! I’m usually in and out pretty fast. Got places to be you know? Hm, did you just move here?

BB: yeah, i got settled in about a week ago

You: staying long?

BB: long enough

You: oh ha ha. Seriously not suspicious at all

BB: yeah I’m in town for a month or two. I’m getting away from work and stress for a minute

You: and you chose here?

BB: quiet enough for me. 😌 (smiley face) and you’re here so that’s a plus

You: relentless

BB: and nothing less.

-

MONDAY EVENING

BB: you haven’t seen that series? You’re crazy

You: whaaat! It’s not my thing. AND i don’t have time for it

BB: it’s a masterpiece, come on! Who doesn’t like laughing? It’s funny! You’ll like it

You: you’re gonna owe me a drink if don’t like it

BB: I’ll gladly buy you one right now if that’s what it takes to get you to watch it

You: ugh, i guess if you recommend it i can tryyyy…

BB: you won’t regret it!

You: ugh you are so annoying. What are you up to right now?

BB: reading emails and talking to you

You: haha what’s so important that you’re reading an email at like 11. Gotta turn on that “do not disturb” dude

BB: I can’t mute the work stuff, unfortunately

You: so if i called you over tonight you wouldn’t be able to? “Because of work?”

BB: you serious? I’m only taking serious offers right now

You: No! It’s monday. Can’t indulge you that early in the week

BB:  what a shame. I’d drop it in a heartbeat for you

You: Nice to know 

BB: I’ve got a feeling that I shouldn’t have told you that (laughing emoji)

You:  😈 (devil emoji)

-

TUESDAY MORNING

BB: good morning!

You: hey! I remembered I had some tea back at my apartment so… just wanted to let you know you had an impact on my day 🙄😊 (eye roll emoji and smiley face emoji)

BB: I could still make a better cup for you 😘 (kissy face emoji)

You: right. What do you have planned today?

BB: hmm, I’m heading out to the gym. Then I might explore the city a bit. Bump into me?

You: well, I don’t know if I could recognize you even if i wanted to

BB: you’ll recognize me

You: haha, okay? Wait, do I know you? –– if this is a prank… 

BB: it’s not! 

You: .. that wouldn’t be cool.

BB: it’s not a prank! There’s just a lot of things I can’t tell you just yet. It’d be a lot easier if we were able to meet up in person.

You: why?

BB: I’m pretty private. It’s really hard for me to just… share certain things with you. But I want to! SO badly! I just can’t send you a whole picture of my face. It’s complicated.

You: Sorry? I don’t get it.

BB: Ahhhh. This is going to sound so bad. I trust you, like as a person. But also I can’t trust you. If you meet me–– you’ll understand why. I’m sorry. 

You: Okay…? And you have to understand that this sounds absolutely batshit to me, right? Like it’s pretty hard to trust you like this. 

BB: yeah I know. I’m sorry. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me. But honestly, it’s nice to be able to talk to you like this and I hope we can continue to chat. I really do like you.

You: … That is really unfair.

BB: I know! I’m sorry. Give me another day or two–– i have a few things to figure out but, I SWEAR i’m not lying to you. I promise it’ll make sense soon

You: well, if you promise you’re not a creep….

BB: I’m not!

You: and that you’re not using me as a replacement for your ex

BB: I won’t!

You: you are SO lucky i’m patient

BB: and kind. And beautiful. And amazing.

You: you’re pushing it, blurry boy. I just need you to realize how unfair this is.

BB: I do. And I know. I’m sorry.

You: what are you looking for here? With me or with anyone you would have met from the app?

BB: a home away from home

You: yeah i read that in your bio. What does that mean?

BB: I’m looking for someone I can spend time with and trust with my whole heart

You: ha ha

BB: I’m serious. It’s hard to find.

You: you’re a real romantic, that’s for sure

-

TUESDAY EVENING

You: you have a DOG and you didn’t tell me?

BB: what, you’re not interested in the fact that I have younger twin brothers and another 8 years younger than me? ‘Always about Tessa

You: obviously! Send a pic!

BB: 

You: is this from right now?

BB: nah, something I took ages ago. I had to leave her back home with my family.

You: aww, that’s too bad.

BB:  would you come over if she were here?

You: Duh! And I guess you’d have to make me a cup.

BB: sounds lovely. Let’s make it a date

You: ha ha. You miss home?

BB: More than you know. I travel A LOT

You: well, call back often! They would be happy to know you miss them! Loneliness is not a great feeling.

BB: I do, all the time! And definitely not a good feeling. So, it’s really nice to talk to you. Thank you.

You: Sorry, I’m not a very great conversational partner. But still happy to hear that

BB: You are. You’re still here

You: You are too.

BB: You already mean a lot to me

You: Have you been in many relationships? (Or hookups idk)

BB: No, and not really. I’ve only been in a handful of long-term relationships

You: Interesting

BB: What?

You: Just wondering if you are really catching feelings for me

BB: Guilty. You?

You: I don’t think I know enough about you to catch anything. No offense 😬😅(cringe emoji, laughing emoji)

BB: Ha, no. I meant if you’ve been in many relationships?

You: Oh! Sorry. A few of either. Did long-term once. Didn’t work out, obviously–– so here I am. That’s that.

BB: Guess we both have a past to bury

You: Please don’t say anything about “burying yourself into my pussy to feel better”

BB: WHAT. I wasn’t even thinking about that. That’s all you 👀

You: Hey, you’ve been pretty quick all the other times, bud.

BB: If I tell you I want more than just sex, does that make you feel better?

You: It makes me think about the fact that you still want to have sex with me

BB: And I can’t deny that 😊 (smiley blushy face emoji)

-

WEDNESDAY MORNING:

BB: Good morning!

You: Morning! Little later than usual–– sleeping in?

BB: Yeah, since I can afford to. You replied quicker than usual. Were you waiting for me? 😉 (wink emoji)

You: Haha, you wish. I was already on my phone, stud.

BB: Right, right. I can tell you like to play hard to get

You: No I don’t!

BB: 😂 (laughing emoji)

You: I don’t!

BB: Wow, feels great to finally have something to hold over you 

You: I hate you 🙄 (eye roll emoji)

BB: Have a nice day, love 😊🌈(smiley face, rainbow emoji)

-

PING! 

“BB? Who is bb?” Liza asks you on Wednesday evening after seeing a notification pop up on your phone. She grabs it off the sticky cafe table and looks at you with her pretty head tilted.

Oh––

You wiggle your jaw, and raise your brows,

 “No one important.” 

You take your phone back and open the message discreetly. It’s nothing special, you’re sure, but you have to look.

BB: so have you seen the last episode yet????? Hello??

“I didn’t know you were seeing anyone!” She pleads, putting down the drink in her hands. You were at the mall, idly walking and taking a short break. She looks at you pointedly, eyes darting around your face for any spot of weakness, as she quietly whines, “You didn’t tell us anything about this…”

“It’s because I’m not––”  You offer, nodding. You flip your phone upside down as the message lights up again. “–– seeing anyone.”

She gives you a squinted look of total disbelief.

You’ve been messaging “Blurry Boy” nonstop for the past few days. First you talked about nothing, and now you’re asking each other about how your day was going and what you’re doing now, and what you’re doing later. 

You always find something. Your phone is constantly by your side, sound on.

And there’s a layer of real time now, now that you’ve gotten to know him and his schedule better.

You learn that he has his own cute dog name Tessa and that his family fosters dogs back home, and that he’s the oldest, with twin brothers and a younger one he’s been trying desperately to relate to. You find out that his favorite color is black and that he’s in deep shit for stealing his best friend’s fav hoodie. All of this makes him feel like someone you know, someone you could call a friend.

He feels like more than just some guy you’ve talked to waaaay too long from Tinder.

And what’s worse, is that he knows certain things about you too. He knows that you don’t like sleeping in the dark and that you’re borderline addicted to iced coffee. That you like rewatching old romcoms and classic spooky movies… That your back hurts from work and that you have a fucking dentist appointment on Thursday. 

You know a lot more about each other than less. And that’s kinda really fucking weird.

“You’re always smiling at your phone,” Liza says flatly, picking her drink back up to take a long and loud sip. Major side-eye. “‘Fess up.”

“No, I’m not!” You say through your teeth, trying to not smile. But under her stare you melt and crack under pressure.

You keep telling yourself that you’ll stop replying–– that he’s super sus and this isn’t going anywhere. But… you just keep texting him back.

“It’s nothing, seriously.”

“Let me see,” she pouts. “Pleeeease.” She flaps her hands at you, wriggling her fingers.

“No!”

Even though you know that it’s a losing game with her, you try to put up a fight, turning away and holding your phone tightly. You have onlookers now from the squealing, kicking and creaking chairs.

You give in after a minute.

You hand your phone in defeat as you readjust yourselves. You clear your throat.

“Okay, okay. But this is like, not serious at all, okay.” You rationalize as you show her the pictures you had screenshot and saved from him. “I barely know him.”

Barely! You’ve chanted that in your head over and over. Not enough to know if you want to get to know him, or what to drop him. That’s the purgatory you’ve been living in.

Liza is uncharacteristically quiet as she scrolls up and down the chats and flips through the pictures. Her hair covers whatever expression she’s making.

That makes you nervous, and you start babbling.

“Yeah, I mean. I don’t think he’s real or anything–– It’s just for fun and it’s whatever. I don’t even care.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She freezes on a picture of him. The one where you can see a part of his smile and a crinkled eye. She zooms in and pauses again.

?

“Babe?” Her voice is cautious and slow. God. You don’t want to hear what she has to say next with this tone of voice…

“Hm?” You attempt to perk up, hiding the fact that you just gulped with nerves. It feels like you’re holding something sour in your mouth.

I don’t like this...

“So, he seems like a super nice guy and all but…” She speaks gingerly and wide eyed.

“But what?” You feel yourself recoil. 

As much as you talk a big game… it would still hurt to have this illusion shattered. This self-inflicted fantasy. You don’t want her to keep going. 

But you can guess what’s coming next.

...

“I… I think he’s using pictures of Tom Holland.”

…

…

…

Wait…...

What?!

-

A.N: WAH! she’s back!! well, as much as she can be. haha i know i have a million things always running at the same time but... i really will just ride the wave of inspiration as it comes.... that’s all i can do. anyway, hope you like this series! it’s going to be an exploration of starting new relationships in your young adulthood–– and how to handle be “The one” after “The One.” it’ll be a good time.

Thank you guys for reading! Please like, comment and reblog :) You’re all amazing. 

Much Love,

Madmadmilk 💫

** i do NOT keep up with a taglist. track #one after the one to keep up with the updates, or check out my masterlist! thanks! 

[kmp78]

hey K! I don't know much about SL's ex-girlfriends, I've heard you talk about Nursey and Inchslit before but I don't know what happened when they were with Shannon. Could I get some info on that please?

Hi, anon! 👋

Well, I'll try to rehash the saga to the best of my recollection! 😆

Back in spring 2014 SL was dating/hooking up with Inch BUT we did not yet know about it. We only came to know of her existence a whole year later, but we'll get to it later!

In July/August 2014, after SL was released from rehab and the band finished their Euro tour and returned to the States, we got pap pics of SL with Colonna in LA.

MEGA random since she is a literal nobody and he is... well, a nobody as well. 🤷🏼‍♀️

And it got even weirder as we got TWO MORE PAP INCIDENTS just days later when Mars was in NYC for the Carnivores tour! 👀

Again: WHY was this no-name couple suddenly sooooo interesting for paps...? 🤔

Anyway, they dated/hooked up for a few weeks (and SL pulled his usual bs stunts by skipping a M&G just to hang with her... 😒), until he dumped her in September.

We know he dumped her cos she went a bit vengeful on socials, taking digs at his height etc. 🙄

Then it was all quiet on SL dating front until January 2015 when echies pulled that Rola stunt (= Brazilian echies played a trick on her on Twitter by tweeting her "My name is Rola, can you tell me you love Rola?", and she answered "I love Rola" without realizing rola means dick in Braz slang... 😂🙊) and SL came to her rescue on socials by ranting that people need to leave his friends alone.

Well, turns out HE is the one who didn't wanna leave her alone as immediately after that debacle, those two got back together ans she resumed her trolling from their vacays and from his home etc. 🍿

The fandom absolutely loathed her, and it DID NOT HELP that SL made the fateful decision to bring her along for the March 2015 Russian tour. 😬

All hell broke loose in the fandom, and seemingly JL despised her too (there were blind item gossips around stating that her luggage got "misplaced" and her plane tickets "accidentally cancelled" etc. 🤭), and it looked like her presence drove a huge wedge between the bros and also Tomo.

A few weeks into the tour, she and SL had some sort of massive breakup and she sulked off to the States (with a barrage of social media insults again...), and that was it for #Shanstina. 👉🚪

After the tour ended in April 2015 SL went back to LA (while JL kept busy dicking VK in NYC oh and also occasionally doing some Joker stuffs... 😈), and attended Coachella.

And this is where we come back to Inch!

During Coachella 15, thanks to her trolling and BF featuring her on their IG, we learned that SL has a "new" special friend! 😮

https://kmp78.tumblr.com/post/136767975994/mars-year-2015-in-review-april

Except once we started digging around her IG and looked up old posts, we realized she had actually been his special friend for over a year - meaning that while he was effing Inch, he was also effing Colonna. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Claaaaaaaaassic Shanny. 🙈

He and Inch kept going "strong" for all of 2015 and she kept trolling and updating us very thoroughly... 🙄.

https://kmp78.tumblr.com/post/139307440724/mars-year-2015-in-review-june

https://kmp78.tumblr.com/post/143624666379/mars-year-2015-in-review-september

https://kmp78.tumblr.com/post/145573103444/mars-year-2015-in-review-october

Then we get to Nursey.

Now, I have to admit that I cannot be 100% certain I'm remembering the timeframe correctly, but in early 2016 we learned that he has been fucking around with her too (thanks to her joining the "Showing SL's fireplace and nekkid toes on IG" club) - and again while still with Inch! 🤨

And also again, upon doing further investigation, we found out that her links to Mars /SL went FAR beyond them just "randomly" getting together in 2015/16.

In fact, she can be seen in Mars fan pics in 2012 and attended at least 1 M&G in 2014, soooooo... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Once again, the overlapping of 🐱 is astonishing. 😳

By 2016 SL had moved to Seattle, and both Inch and Nursey kept going up there to entertain him in what I can only assume to be a rotaring schedule... 😂

Inch even moved there full-time, and is still up there even tho at some point she and he parted ways.

Nursey kept on trolling about SL well into 2019, but apparently had moved into the ex-gf category by Nov 2019 when she randomly popped up on Aaron Carter's IG Live and dropped a little snippet regarding... something... and someone... 🤔

https://kmp78.tumblr.com/post/188885347291/what-is-so-fucked-up-about-your-ex

And there we have it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

A quick but long overview of SL adventures in 🐱-land. 😆

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #271

“some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses.”

Do you cook on the stove at all, or just microwave? I just use the microwave. I'm scared of the stove lmao. Do you ever debate religion with your friends? Bruuuh no. I am so disinterested in debating about something that to me ultimately doesn't matter yet humanity has made so serious. Whatever happens after we die, happens, there's that. Just be a decent human being and go out knowing you did your best to make the world better than when you entered it. Do you keep your shampoo in the shower or someplace else? In the shower. Something your mother said or did that shocked you: Like... recently? Or in my entire life? I dunno about recently, but I guess the most shocking to me was when she vehemently called my sister something I won't repeat. Did your mom go to college? She was before the cancer. Ready to graduate, too, but that didn't go as planned thanks to, y'know, cancer. Which food do you think you have the most cans of in your cupboard? Good question, no clue. I don't really pay attention to the canned foods. Maybe fruits? Do you save fortunes from fortune cookies? No. Are you offended when Christmas is spelled Xmas? Nah. Where do you put your keys when you come home? In my purse. Describe your favorite mug or glass to drink from? I don't have one. That I use, anyway. Sara gave me a Markiplier quote one that's a Holy Item on my shelf and instead of holding a beverage holds All My Love. Your bad habit that you love the most: UGH I hate how much I love soda. Invent a pop tart flavor: STORY TIME!!!! As a kid, there was this contest to design a type and you won like... a fucking huge supply of the newest flavor, which was at the time that wild berry whatever thing. My sister and I made one that I think I recall being pink with heart sprinkles and strawberry flavored, and we won. Guess who fucking hates the wild berry flavor now lmao. Okay but anyway if I was to invent one now... is there a BLUE raspberry flavor? Cuz a bitch loves blue raspberry flavored everything. Do you name your pets after tv/movie/book characters: Sometimes. I don't currently have a pet that is, though. Are you proud of yourself for what you've accomplished? The few things I actually have, sure? I'm more ashamed of what I haven't. Do you own any sexy lingerie? Nooooo no one would want to see me in that, least of all myself lmao. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before? No. Has a horse ever neighed at you before? Uhhh I don't think so? Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet? Ice cream. Have you gotten your pets spayed? My cat is. That's like... the only pet we ever have fixed, sadly. My parents/Mom (depending on time period) could just never afford it. The only real reason we managed to get Roman neutered was because our sister directed us to a cheap on-the-go business where it was like... only $45, and Roman was marking the house badly so it was pretty urgent. Would you ever take in a stray animal? HA, that is the STORY of my family with cats. At this current time, most likely not. We don't need another pet right now, nevermind one of a mysterious background with my mom being sick. When is payday? N/A Have you ever walked on a runway before? No. How long is your workday? N/A Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door? No. What is your favorite color? What is your least favorite color? Pink is superior to all colors. I'm really not a puke-green fan, but I mean... is anyone? What color dominates your wardrobe? Everything is B L A C K. What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. Are you colorblind, or do you know anyone who is? I'm not, but Jason's brother is colorblind to I think red and blue? Do you prefer color photos or black-and white? It greatly depends on the composition and subject matter of the photograph. I find great beauty in both. If I had to pick though, color usually appeals to me more. Are you one of those people who can taste, feel, or smell colors? No. Have you ever seen a double rainbow before? Yes. Do you enjoy coloring? It tends to be my least-favorite part of the art process because that's where I always fuck shit up. Do you know anyone who is racist? Oh my, PLENTY. Welcome to the South. Are your nails painted any color(s) right now? They never are. Can you lift more than 100lbs? I probably CAN, but it would be very hard. What's your opinion on incest? It's fucking repulsive. Morally and negative from a scientific standpoint, anyway. Do you have a favorite color for cats? Orange. What video games did you play when you were younger? I was a massive gamer as a kid, teenager too, so I could put a hell of a lot here. But, I'll just imagine you're referring to when I was quite young. The Spyro games (save for Skylanders) were my LIFE, I loved Nintendogs, the Crash Bandicoot trilogy, lots of games that were based on movies (like Madagascar and Finding Nemo are two I really enjoyed), uhhh... OH! And absolutely weird, but I loved hunting games. Like, I had a whooole lot, despite hating real life hunting even as a child. I think it was because I got to see wild animals, plus it could be calming to wander and scary, too, when things like wolves found you. Oh, and then there were fishing games, too. LOOK I just love(d) games. Would you ever get a tramp stamp? I hate that nickname. Having a tattoo literally anywhere does not equate you to a stereotype. Yes, because I want to be heavily tattooed anyway. Did you cry when Michael Jackson died? No. Not that I didn't care at all, I just wasn't a giant fan. What's the ugliest species of animal? Lmao how mean. The blobfish immediately comes to mind, though. Looks like a ball of mucus shaped into an old man's face. Are you embarrassed about any songs on your iPod? I used to be, now it's just like whatever. I like what I like. What do you use to listen to music on the computer? YouTube. Do people know a lot about you? Places on the Internet sure do lmao. I try to be much more private now online to a degree, depending on where. Irl, no. I'm too easily embarrassed/afraid of being judged for what makes me, me. Who was the last person you slept beside? Sara. Do you like Metallica? They're one of my all-time favorites and I trust NOBODY who claims to hate them. What's your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a fan of soup. What’s your best friend's favorite band? Her all-time favorite is Pink Floyd. Who was the last person you took a picture with? Ummm idr. Do you play Guitar Hero? Not really anymore, but I fuckin slayed that shit back in the day. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. Who was the last person to come to your house? My younger sister. What time do you usually eat dinner? Anywhere between 5:30 to like... 7:00 or so. Have you ever searched your own house on Google Earth? Not this current one, no. Does it bother you when people have a loose grip on hugs? No? Some people don't like hugs. Are you looking forward to next year? I don't know. Is covid gonna be history by then? It depends on a lot of things. What have you done so far this summer? *blink blink blink* What's your favorite punk band? Honestly, I don't even really separate bands by genres now because I don't know. There's so so many, plenty overlap, etc. etc, and people - especially those who enjoy rock/metal stuff, I've found - get all snobbish and "WELL ACTUALLY" when you "misgenre" or whatever. Which is better: cold or hot weather? COLD. FUCK hot weather. Anything above ~75*F is disgusting. Is photography something you enjoy? I'm an aspiring photographer so like- What’s the best flavor snow cone? I haven't had a legit snow cone in years... but we have a place called Pelican's Snowballs, which is really just like... snow cones in a cup? They are A M A Z I N G and strawberry is to die for. When driving, are you a speed demon or do you drive like your grandmother? I don't drive because I'm terrified to. Have you ever met someone who just had you at hello? No. Bet you were expecting "Jason," but no, I was weirded out that a stranger just comes up to me in the hall on the way to class and starts talking to me. Have you ever written poetry? Yeah. Do you have any addictions? Technology, ugh. And soda, rip. When was the last time you just laid and looked at the stars? Laid, many years ago one summer when Jason and I were just lying on the trampoline while my dad was grilling. What song reminds you of an ex? A lot. What color eyeliner do you prefer? Black. What was the last thing that you made with your own two hands? Like, made from scratch? Hell if I know. What’s the deepest water you will wade into? Like, shoulder-deep in the ocean. How many blades does your razor have? Three, I think? Highest grade of education you’ve completed? Just one semester of college. Lowest grade you’ve received on a test? Yikes, Fs in college math. He taught in such an abstract way that I failed like... every test, or nearly did. I was too afraid to ask questions continuously. Do you enjoy sitting in the sun or the shade more? There is NO situation where I would rather be in the sun. Do you enjoy going to arcades? Hell yeah. What parades do you like to go to? None. When’s the last time you went on a tirade? I ranted to Mom about the fucking ridiculous anti-maskers that are a big reason this motherfucking pandemic is worsening in America. With my mom being immunocompromised, it is something I take VERY goddamn seriously. It's not a difference in opinion - it's a difference in morality. Do you like to play charades? I loved to as a kid. Now it'd feel weird. Would you ever lead a crusade? I wouldn't want to lead anything. Have your parents ever forbade you from doing something? Aha, so as a kid, I had a game demo disc that showed the preview to Parasite Eve, and my sisters and I would secretly watch it despite it scaring us to where Mom did forbid us to click on it. And all these years later, I've played it and love it... ha ha. Otherwise, my parents have always been pretty open to letting us do stuff, save for things the usual parent doesn't like, like swearing. When’s the last time someone said something degrading to you? A few days back when I got into an argument on Facebook about some asshole teasing their newly-hatched cobra to where it kept striking at the tongs, hood flared and all. Apparently I had no idea what I was talking about, pointing out the snake was clearly stressed out. What’s the last homemade dish you’ve made? I legit haven't cooked a thing since Sara was here and I made her eggs for breakfast. Which was like, a year ago. Do you like lemonade? What flavor(s)? Broooo YES. Pink lemonade is better, but I enjoy just the classic kind, too. Has anyone ever serenaded you before? Fuck this question. Would you like to visit the Everglades? Lemme see them motherfuckin GATORS. Have you ever attended a masquerade ball before? No. Would be dope, though. Have you lost anyone to AIDS? No, thank god. Have you ever been paid for sex? Hell no. Have you ever had a maid in your home before? HUNNY we are too poor for that shit. Do you know how to do different types of braids in hair? No. When’s the last time you wore a Band-aid? Where and why? I have no clue. When was the last time you were afraid? Of what? A family friend was over here a couple days ago and she had this weirdest muscle cramp in her leg that brought her to the floor gasping for like over a minute. I was super scared, and Mom was too, as we had no idea what to do. I almost had to call 911. Crazy woman hasn't gone to the doctor about it, to my knowledge. Would you ever consider growing your hair out to your waist, or longer? NOOOO NO NO. I am probably having short hair for the rest of my life. Is there anywhere in your house that you're scared to be alone in? No. What is your favorite shoe brand? I don't have one. What weird things did you do as a small child? I was just a weird kid in general. I did a lotta stuff that would make people raise a brow. Who puts the most pressure on you in your life? My goddamn self. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments? Hell no, I turn red as a cherry and probably cry once I'm in private. Do you have a favourite actor/actress? If so, who? No. Do you like little kids, or do they annoy you? I feel uncomfortable around them. They're too brutally honest, I feel like every move I make is wrong, and I just generally feel incapable of handling them properly. Do you want a small or a large family when you get older? Well, I don't want any kids, so... Are you a good dancer? If not, do you enjoy dancing anyways? No and no. I'd be embarrassed. Have you ever lied to avoid getting into trouble? Yeah. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? I'd say two weeks is pretty long, and I was supposed to stay an entire month. I only got out of that by going to court. Do you take a lot of pictures of yourself, or are you camera shy? I HATE being in front of the camera. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling? I just like ketchup, mustard, and pickles, really. A bit of diced onion is fine, too. I prefer gas; I hate the charcoal-y taste. You are chosen to have lunch with the president. the condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask? Fuck that, I'd decline going to begin with. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies? Popcorn, of course. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email? Pop-up ads. How long was it from ‘the first date’ until the proposal of marriage? How long until the wedding? N/A What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other? Probably like, wrestling. Golf. Sports in general. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test? I haven't tried it yet. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose? I always just use chocolate syrup. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic? CHRIST, TRAFFIC. Elevators kinda scare me and I'm very scared of being stuck in one. What are you sitting on right now? My bed. Are you listening to anything? Halocene's cover of "Killing In The Name." Have you parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? No. Who was the last person to give you money? I have no idea. Have you ever dreamed of someone you barely know? Actually yeah. Weird as hell. When was the most recent time, if ever, that you felt “impostor syndrome,” or that you felt unqualified to be somewhere? Hm. I suppose when I went to the doctor by myself for my foot. I'd never done an appointment without Mom at all, and I was veeery clueless to a lot of steps, questions, etc. What are some ways that pop culture has helped you learn historic or scientific facts? Some TV shows, I guess. Or games, even. Have you ever had a job in which you felt that you had nothing to do? What was the protocol in that situation (e.g., surfing the web, taking on the job of co-workers, or pretending to work)? If you have not, do you think it would be lucky or unlucky to have such a job? No. I was expected to always be doing something. I'd consider that to be pretty unlucky, as it sounds boring and pointless. Have you ever intimidated or made another person feel legitimately threatened? If not, do you think that you could ever be seen as scary? I don't know. Mom has admitted me yelling has scared her before, though. I can yell pretty fucking loudly. But she herself never felt threatened. And do I think I could be seen as scary? Yes. Especially given my chronic fucking nightmares that almost always involve confrontation. In what ways do you or would you need to be validated by a partner? (For example, liking your posts/talking about you on social media, or perhaps by doting on you with gifts.) I am VERY much a "words of affirmation" person. I NEED reassurance that I'm adequate and sincerely loved. When you are having a hard time emotionally, what are some of the telltale ways that you act out or that your personality reflects your struggles? I become very snappy and more reclusive than usual. I cry really easily. Do you tend to succeed by weaning yourself off of something or by quitting cold turkey? It depends on what it is, but I've generally needed to wean myself off of things when necessary. Is there a specific type of pet breed/size/etc. that you don’t want? Why not? I am very turned off by animal breeds/types that are subject to serious health issues, such as pugs, dachsunds, Persians, spider ball pythons... Just don't fucking breed them. Ironically, some of these are the cutest, but I care far more about the health of the animal. Have you ever lived in a notoriously dangerous area? If not, would it bother you to do so? Yes and yes. Has a friend’s significant other ever interfered with or damaged your friendship? What about a significant other of yours damaging a friendship? I don't believe so, no. What, if anything, is something that you put pressure on yourself about? What do you imagine would happen if you did not live up to this expectation? Getting a job, for Heaven's sake, and actually managing to keep it. I've proven inept in this area so far, so, I've already failed that. :^) If you have been in a serious relationship, have you and your partner ever discussed lifetime plans that clashed? Did you reconcile them or did you break up? If you have not been in a relationship, what are some issues that would be deal-breakers? Jason and I kinda casually talked about kids early in our relationship, at which time I didn't see myself wanting them at all and he did at some point. It didn't really bother either of us, though; it was something we'd figure out if we actually got anywhere. Then he became the only person I could ever imagine myself having kids with. Life's funny.

[rogueblxde]

hey ! leave me alone. - it’s not a venting post, it’s my Akali rant adhfaskfh

so what is Akali’s story in the k/da / TD universe? it’s short and really simple: born in a clan (of sorts), studied and educated in martial arts, ran away when she was about 18 years old, deciding to leave the old ways behind, and began to actively search for her place in the world by expressing herself with her exceptional rapping skills, acrobatics and street art. key word “street”. quickly became a street star, went viral on various streaming services more than once, was mostly enjoying this sort of carefree (emphasis on free) life that she was living for herself, not for someone else. then got invited to join the new ambitious project as the leading rapper, and exploded.

worldwide famous. the prodigy girl, the hip-hop ninja, incredible flow, the sarcastic cool type, the neon demon – listen, there were many names. many cameras in her face as well. many eyes watching the new super bright star, the need to keep up her cool and laid back persona – you know, the industry is merciless and unforgiving. so are the fans, which can change sides just as quickly as they fell in love with you. and then True Damage as her one and only passion project, attempting to go back to her roots, the street performers, diamonds in the rough, free from labels and the pressure of the agencies, ready to make music how they see fit.

and what do people usually get for something bold like this? ha-ha, that’s right, a lot of hate.

now let’s break it down a little.

Akali’s actual personality is not entirely different from her k/da persona, but there’s still a spin of “I’m so dangerous, edgy and awesome” that spreads through her rapping all the way into the MV and their performances, actually going even further to the photosets and red carpets, interviews and all that. she has a label – a snarky cool girl, who doesn’t like heels and prefers heavy sneakers, which is also something you wouldn’t see often in modern k-pop. (the industry irl is so toxic it’s unbelievable it’s still so freaking huge, ok) it’s still a label, and even though she’s comfortable with being the rebel one, there are still standards to be met in the huge gatherings of idols. how do you think people look at the group with three gorgeous girls and a gremlin? kdfha it’s a joke, all of them are gorgeous, but it’s clear which one of them would never wear heels, even if she was held at a gunpoint.

of course, at first everything negative is ignored. Akali values her opinion and maybe opinions of her new k/da friends, trusting Ahri’s leadership, Eve’s advice, clinging to Kai’Sa who is just as new in that as she is. she’s talented and popular, they score a perfect all-kill with their first song, their life is… crazy. it’s too much to bear, honestly. interviews, social media stuff, promotions, ads, plus working on something new – except… where’s working on something new? does k/da just cease to exist after a great score? why weren’t the given the opportunity to do more? why can’t they write more music? Akali lives through her rap, she loves writing music, loves writing words, and she knows other girls love to perform too – but with all the campaign bullshit she’s lost in the tornado of crazy schedules. and there’s no time to do something she actually wants to do, enjoys to do, AND she’s getting judged on the way she looks, dresses, that she’s too muscular/slim/not slim enough. ramen? ew, a girl should stop eating. where’s her make up? why is she boyish? she’s not elegant to be an idol. why don’t she just leave?

now, obviously, all four of them were probably receiving stuff like that, and it needs to be ignored. it’s shitty that people like that exist, and sad that they think it’s ok to tell someone what they should and shouldn’t do.

at this point, what do we have? overwhelming success, a perfect persona to play constantly, since it’s campaign time, no windows to do something they enjoy. isn’t it hard? hell fucking yes it’s hard. it takes a toll on health, both physical and mental, and it’s honestly that period in her life when Akali gets her first “actual” anxiety attack. what should she do, how should she behave, what if she does something stupid, huh, what if she trips, oh, her appearance will be ruined, no? rapping becomes hard. mistakes, slurs, words not flowing as efficiently. she is deprived of one of the few things she actually enjoys because they are pushed into certain patterns of how an idol should behave.

so what does she do? as pathetic as it may sound, the only thing she succeeded with. she runs away from the popular group, she tries to find her feelings for the music again. I imagine all of the girls have their own apartments plus the ‘dorm’ of sorts, where all of them can live, and in her own apartment Akali has a studio, where she is learning to mix tracks and use samples and all that. it’s her little safespace, and if she’s not napping in her bag chair next to the balcony in her living room, she’s most probably locked in the studio again. that’s where the idea for True Damage actually hit her for the first time – she was listening to one of Yasuo’s tracks while trying to understand how to mix it properly. at the time it seemed like a great idea – re-ignite her own love for music with collaborating with amazing street stars? and, let’s be real, it was a great collab – filled with passion, filled with talent, right?

yet one of the most frequently asked questions was “did she leave k/da”.

and yes, this one is based purely from my own irl experience with everyone who was judging Akali for “leaving kda”. I’ve had quite a few people talk shit at me, the mun, about my character leaving a 2d musical group, how would you like that, lmao. so I’m implementing this.

which leads to receiving even more fame. and more hate. “finally she left”. “ugh what a rat”. “lol she’s nothing without the group”. and she would’ve been able to take it, but because she tried to do something she was passionate about, her project was overlooked simply because “it’s that girl who ditched the group that made her famous”. and the best one yet – “of course she needs more talented people to carry her now”.

you can be strong as fuck, nerves of steel and all, but when there are eyes of millions of people upon you, you begin to crumble. it’s hard, it’s tough, it’s something you either give in to, or find strength to go through, finding more and more reasons to keep going. either it’s your passion, your fanbase, your friends, your family – quite literally, anything to show you how you’re not a failure and you don’t actually know what people think of you.

now, one of the things from my own experience with depression is that I’m constantly feeling down because I think someone hates me. or I think they want to replace me, or that they laugh at me, etc. etc. it’s really hard to break out of this cycle of thoughts, you are just constantly going back to putting your thoughts into someone else’s behavior without actually thinking that it might be completely wrong. and it’s hard as it is with just my circle of people – and when there was no one around you and all of a sudden there are millions? yeah, that shit hits hard. very, very hard.

Akali is still a strong girl. she knows she will get through this shit and comeback with something incredible to rub it into everyone’s faces, or not – maybe she’ll show her honest self, give her honest opinions and drop f bombs on the trends of the industry.

but for now she’s just nowhere to be found, hiding in her studio, and not giving two shits about anything. projects? haha. practice? haha. she covers her favorite rap tracks just because she feels like it, because the lyrics speak to her. she will come back eventually.

exhibit a / exhibit b.

[purplesurveys]

467

-- List 8 Friends of Either Gender -- 1. Angela 2. Gabie 3. Jo 4. Kate 5. JM 6. Hannah 7. Luisa 8. Jane

Questions About These Friends Does number 4 have a driver’s license? No, she doesn’t know how to drive. She told me her parents were gonna give her a car as a graduation gift, but I don’t know how that’ll work because she’s to scared to learn. Can number 7 speak another language? Yes. Filipino and English, like me. I’m just not sure if she can also understand other languages as well. Does 2 know your parents well? Well she kinda has to, if she wants to continue dating me hah. Have 3 and 5 been in the same room together? Pretty often. The three of us were executive board members in our organization, so we worked together a lot.

Does 1 have similar music tastes to you? Not really. It overlaps sometimes but at the end of the day, hers is still distinct from mine. Has 6 ever stayed at your house? Nah, she’s never visited.

When did 3 last text you? A little more than a month ago when we were planning out to go to the launch of Popeye’s in the country hahaha. Does 5 have any pets? If so, what do they have? Yesssss. He has Alley the golden retriever, and Alley recently gave birth to pups too. They sold several ones but they kept two named Mika and Theo. Does 7 live in the same town/city as you? Oh no not at all. She lives in Sta. Rosa, Laguna - a good hour and a half away from where I’m from. Have you ever lent something important to 8? Yes. I lent her all my Audrey Hepburn DVDs when I found out she was also a fan, but she’s since returned them to me. Can number 1 sing well? She’s okay. Does 2 have any siblings? Yes, two amazing and the most charming little sisters. If 4 called you at 2 AM, what would your reaction be? My first thought would definitely be that she did something stupid haha. She’s a good friend though, so I’d pick up the phone for her. Who is 8′s best friend? Mmm I’m just not sure. We’re from different friend groups so I don’t know who she’s closest with. From the org, it’s probably Tina or Ed. I’m just not aware of other close friends she has. Does 6 have a favourite tv show? If so, what is it? She probably has, but I just don’t know which one. Who out of 5 and 7 knows you the best? Maybe JM. Luisa graduated a year ago so she’s not really caught up with my life as of late. Does 4 have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yep, she’s going out with Edi but she also feels like she jumped in to the relationship too soon and is now having doubts about it. Does 2 have a career/knows what they want to be? She wants to work in film and TV production. Have you ever kissed 1? No. Does 3 have or want children? I don’t...think she actively wants children? We’ve talked about how we would raise our kids if ever the opportunity comes, but she’s not crazy about wanting to have them. Does 6 have any piercings or tattoos? She might have ear piercings, but I’m not sure. I know for sure she doesn’t have tattos and piercings anywhere else. Do your parents know 8? Not really. My mom has always been more familiar with my high school friends. Which Number...

Have you had romantic feelings for? 2 Have you told a secret to? I dunno, all of them? I trust all my friends. Have you shared a bed with? 1, 2 Have you watched a movie with? 1, 2 Have you seen cry? 1, 2, 3, 4, 8 Have seen you cry? 1, 2 Have cooked you something? 1 Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? 1, 2, 3, 4 Have met your parents? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8 Have been to the same school/college as you? All of them. Angela and I are both AA-UP, Gabie’s from AA, the rest are from UP. About Number One: Angela What age are they? She’s 20, but she’s turning 21 in September.

Have you met their parents? Of course! I’m very close with them, and I’ve known them since I was 7. Have you ever been in a relationship with them? Nah, she’s straight as a stick and I’ve always seen her as my sister, anyway. Do they like most of your other friends? We came from the same group in high school so we have the same friends on one end. But she’s never met my org friends because our schedules make it impossible to band them all together. How often do you two meet up and/or talk? We talk 1-2 times a week but we see each other much less. We’re always busy doing our own thing, but she’s my best friend and we’re always able to catch up and I’m grateful for that. When did you last argue? God, probably when we were 11. We’ve never argued except for petty grade school shit. What is their favourite food? I’ve known her for 14 years and I have no idea what her favorite food is. Where is their favourite place to be? Wherever Hans is, I’m guessing. How many close friends do they have? Around 4-5, I’m guessing. Number Two: Gabie What colour is their eyes? Dark brown, almost black. Have they known you the longest? No, that achievement belongs to Angela. I’ve only known Gabie for 7 years. Where were they born? I think she was born in Manila too, I’m just not sure where. Why are they your number 2? I didn’t want to make her #1 cos that would be too predictable haha. Do they like children? She used not to; I think I changed her mind about it. She still has reservations, but she’s been more receptive in the last few years. Would they beat you in a race? Probably. She never loses. When did you last spend time alone together? Yesterday morning. I slept over Friday night and left the next morning. We went to our high school and had a peaceful walk there :3 Do they have a pet peeve? What is it? Irresponsible co-workers. Number Three: Jo What is their hair colour? Black. She’s dyed it so many times before though; she just stopped recently. What is their job, if they have one? She doesn’t have one, she’s a full-time student.

Do they have their own place? No. She does stay at a dorm for the duration of the school year because she lives all the way in Pateros, which is too far from UP. How many brothers or sisters do they have? She’s an only child. Have you ever done something illegal with them? I don’t know haha – I don’t think so. Jo’s too goody goody to do anything bad. How old were you when you met each other? I was 19. I met her when we were both applying for our current college org. Are they more sporty, arty or academic? She’s a mix of artsy and academic, definitely. She write poems, but she’s also really good in all her classes. Have you ever travelled out of country with this person? Nah. Person Four: Kate Do they have a favourite musician? Yeah. She’s expressed her love multiple times for LANY, HONNE, and Lauv. Have you drank alcohol with this person? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA too many times. Are their parents together? Yes. What do you enjoy doing with them? Gossiping and ranting, hahaha. She’s an easy person to talk to and she knows so much insider stuff, which is always fun. When is their birthday? January 1, 1999. Do they have long or short hair? Short. It used to be long but she had it cut dramatically a couple of months ago. Have you been to a concert with this person? No. We have different music interests so I dunno if I’ll ever find myself in a concert with her. If you asked them to describe you, what do you think they would say? Mature, maybe? I’m always the one telling her off if she’s being too petty. Person Five: JM Where did you two meet? He was my classmate in my introductory journalism class when I was a freshie. He was a sophomore and had just shifted from Biology back then. How long ago did they phone you? Like, call me? He doesn’t really do that. Do they have a certain sport they play? No. He’s more of a musical instrument kind of guy. What about them annoys you sometimes? He’s a little pessimistic and aloof sometimes, which can be strange for me. He’s still my favorite dude, though. Are they ruled by their head or their heart? Head, definitely. He’s very realistic. Are they male or female? Male. In what ways are they the opposite of you? I’m super clingy and can be really friendly and affectionate. He’s none of those as he’s very chill. How many rooms do they have in their house? I’m not sure; I’ve never been to the second floor of their house. His house is huge, though. Person Six: Hannah Can they play an instrument? She can play a little piano, but she mainly sings. Are they close with their mother? I’m sure she doesn’t have any issues with her mom but I don’t know if they’re close. Do you know any of their siblings well? Not really. I just know her sister is 21 and already married. How many times have you visited their house? I’ve never been. When did you last go out to eat together? Several months ago. We had dinner at Pancake House after an org meeting. Do they own a bike? I’m not sure. Maybe she does? Do they have a sweet, sour or salty tooth? I don’t really know what kind of food she’s into. What music genre do they listen to most? She’s into pop songs and ballads. She also has a huge crush on David Archuleta. Person Seven: Luisa Would you ever consider dating this person? Not really. I was already with Gabie when I first met her so I never entertained the thought. Do they prefer cats or dogs? Dogs. Are they or do they plan to go to college? To study what? She did go to college – that’s where I met her. She took up journalism. If they did something illegal, what would it be? HAHAHA I’m just not sure how far she’s willing to go. Have you ever shared a sundae with this person? I don’t think so, no. is their hair dyed or natural? Natural. Is this peson sarcastic? She can be, but it’s not really her go-to humor.

Is this person more likely to party or sit in and read a book? Read a book, I think.  Person Eight: Jane Have you ever lied to this person? Only about deadlines, and if I’m done with my deliverables haha. I don’t let it go too far because I respect her too much to betray her. Do you know where this person was born? I don’t. Do you know their middle name and do they know yours? Her second name is Caroline, but I’m not sharing her maiden name. She knows my whole name too. Do they have any special talents? As far as I know, no. What is their starsign? She’s a Virgo. I know this only because she shares her birthday with Beyonce lmaaaaaao. What is the first thing you notice about this person? Her mood for the day. She can sometimes be super pissed at the world so I always have to watch out for that. Have you ever had a big row with this person? Never. Do you like the same types of movies as this person? Well, we both love Audrey Hepburn so there’s that. Random Stuff Which of these friends would you say you are the closest to? Gabie and Angela, as I always say. Can you remember all of their birthdays? Yep. I was the VP for Internal Affairs so I know everyone’s birthday, hahaha. Is there anything you regret saying to any of them? Maybe stuff I’ve said in anger to Gabie. I’ve never lost my temper with everyone else. Which one of these has been there for you the most? Angela. Which one have you known the longest and the shortest amount of time? I’ve technically known Gabie for 17 years, but I’ve been friends with Angela for 14 years. I knew everyone else in 2017, when I joined my org. If you needed a laugh, you'd call... Kate. If you needed advice, you'd call... Gabie and Angela. Which one does your parents like the most? Also Gab and Angela. Is there any of these your parents dislike? I don’t think so. They aren’t too familiar with the rest. Do any of them share the same initials? Jo and JM are both JCs. You can invite one with you for a once in a lifetime trip, which one? Gabie! Something you'd like to say to one of them: You deserve the world and more.

[inyournightmares97]

What about got7 made you like them so much

Oh, dear. This is a heavy question to wake up to and I will not be able to go about my day unless I do justice to this, so here you go lovely anon. GOT7 was not the reason I got into K-Pop, GOT7 was the reason I stayed and if any of this makes it sound like I’m bashing other groups, take my apology now. These are purely my personal opinions and I love EVERY single one of the groups I mention here.

(Please stop reading if you don’t want to read a long, lengthy rant about my love for GOT7 and shit.)

Here we go. Five Reasons I Love GOT7

1. Around 2016, I was at a point where everything in K-Pop was starting to seem rather boring and manufactured. The same practiced answers to the same questions, the same stupid games on every variety show, the same mildly problematic attitude towards sex, skin tone and everything else; this is something which you wouldn’t notice if you stick with a single group but when you’re multi-fandom and you watch so many groups go through the same routine… damn if it doesn’t feel staged after a while. If somebody handed me a mic, I think I could do a standard stage greeting, explain my title song and my ideal type just as well as any idol could. 

Honestly, at that point, Jackson was like a breath of fresh air. Every word that came out of his mouth was so different and I love the casual way in which he questions things the Korean industry takes for granted. If you haven’t seen Hitmaker yet, you must. Jackson tore Doni and Coni a new one, and I had a newfound respect for him. Yes, Jackson Wang is the reason I initially started following GOT7. Most foreign members of rookie groups keep their mouths carefully shut during early debut years because they’re scared of messing up but Jackson’s foray into the Korean industry as a foreigner felt so relatable because the moment something would happen to make me think… well, what was that? Jackson’s loose tongue would be asking the same question in a funnier way than I could have. 

This might sound odd because so many I-fans consider Jackson problematic, but damn, if I don’t think he is the most unproblematic thing as far as K-Pop goes. (More on this later)

2. Damn, if they’re not funny. Yes, a lot of groups are funny and have their moments, I’m pretty sure you could find any idol group saying hilarious things at some point or the other. But GOT7 are the most consistent with their humor. I’ll say it here; I’ve NEVER found a GOT7 video boring. (Let’s not count V-lives. Those drone on forever and are often awkward) These guys were made to entertain. They really were. 

Their interviews are also amazing to watch. Nobody gets MCs flustered like GOT7 does. (One of my favorites is this episode of Idol Battle Likes because the MC, Eunwoo, was a rookie idol and you can see the horror in his face as he tries to salvage the interview yet also the admiration because damn, these guys just do whatever the hell they want to). And this isn’t just Jackson anymore because there are interviews where Jackson isn’t around and they still manage to be hilariously funny. (Case in point: this episode of Global Request Show where Jackson is absent and Jaebum’s unprompted opening line is - “If we lose, Bambam is going to get hit in the forehead by all the members and the MCs” to a flustered baby Bam (who probably did something to piss JB off earlier) and also the classic JJP recreation. 

Not that there aren’t other idols who are also funny. The best example is BtoB, those guys are constantly on crack but their humor is a little different from that of GOT7s, lmao, it consists mostly of me crying at the screen - no, why are you doing that with your pretty face? GOT7, on the other hand, is extremely witty and I am constantly entertained. They couldn’t make us laugh more if their jokes were scripted. 

3. I feel like their relationship with each other is extremely honest. And by that, I don’t mean it’s perfect. I mean it’s honest. Listen, I don’t want to sound like an old veteran or something since I’ve only been into K-Pop for like 3 years or so, but groups are not as close as they seem. (Please don’t take this as me bashing other groups, I love all these guys, but I’m just pointing out examples). Did anyone forsee all the EXO members who left? No, because they all acted really close and tight and loyal until the last moment but now they pretend as if those members never existed. (Yes, I know SM is a snake and is probably making them do that. It still bothers me.) I’ve honestly never heard EXO talk about major fights they had. Infinite, who was my first and for a long time, my ultimate group? I did not see Hoya leaving. When I heard the rumors that a member wasn’t resigning, I was positive it was Sungyeol to go take on an acting career. Hoya doesn’t even seem to talk to the other members much anymore. I was wrong about their friendship, and that shows that there are so many things these idols hide so well from their fans. 

I think GOT7 is relatively one of the most honest groups, and that’s why Jackson keeps saying it. I firmly hope and believe that GOT7 will never spring something as horrifying as a member leaving without a proper explanation. (Not saying that nobody will ever leave. They might choose to take a different path. But I hope and believe it’ll be done the right way, not with radio silence and deflections of awkward questions. Like how Sistar disbanded in such a cool way, writing handwritten letters to the fans explaining their decisions and having an amazing last stage). 

I have also never heard a group talk so freely about the fights they had. I mean, dude. Mark breaking the AC and throwing a laptop at Bam? Jackson and Jaebum fighting over the chicken? I know this sounds funny right now but those were probably extremely serious fights at the time they happened and it’s a testament to their relationship that GOT7 are constantly telling stories about their past fights. I don’t see other groups that tell stories about real fights so often. I really don’t. (Except for totally veteran groups that have been around for like a decade, but guys… I think Seungri and Heechul make up half the stuff they say for entertainment, lmao). 

4. They deal with so much unnecessary hate. Raise your hands if you’re never heard the phrase GOT7 is problematic. Like, wow. There are idols out there who’ve gotten caught doing illegal drugs, have DUIs to their name, participated in financial scandals and harassing fans but GOT7 who have literally never hurt a soul or broken the law are the problematic ones, okay. Sure. 

God, I just hate when people think they’re racist. Guys, open your eyes. GOT7 are the most inclusive group out there. They might be a little stupid at times but they have their hearts in the right places. (HAS NOBODY SEEN THIS VIDEO OF WHEN THAT ASSHOLE HYUNMOO SAID NAMJOON SPEAKS BLACK ENGLISH AND JACKSON SHUT HIM DOWN IN 0.5 SECS?) Don’t get me wrong, Namjoon is my bias in BTS, but I never heard anyone bash him for how problematic he was in his early days. He apologized and people are okay with it but somehow GOT7 still gets pulled up for the dumbest shit. 

Like fuck, guys, half the people who bashed Yugyeom have probably consumed alcohol underage too. Bambam is a little stupid at times, but he’s not racist. Give Mark a break, he’s been in Korea for years, when do you think the last time he hung out with his American friends was? People change, give him the benefit of the doubt. I’m not responsible for the shit my childhood friends get up to. Jaebum was joking with his fans. You can’t say that an idol is so cool for being savage with his members and then suddenly backtrack when he gets savage with you, lmao. Just be savage back to him. It’s banter and I love it. It’s much better than hearing meaningless ‘oh you all mean so much to me’ only to find out the idol fucking leaves the group without a word 2 months later. 

So yeah, I have a protective instinct over GOT7. If one of them actually ever does something problematic then they’re getting called out for it, but come on. Let’s not just make them victims all the time. We know how that feels. I was going through a bad time when GOT7 was getting hate and I connected with them personally. 

5. Finally, GOT7 are the underdogs and I always root for them. To me, they’re that group that has amazing potential and while they’re not completely underrated, there’s this feeling that they’ve gone up to a certain point and now it’s hard to go further. It’s pretty clear from the way the members talk, especially Jackson, Jaebum and Jinyoung, that they’re worried they’ve hit their peak. (Have you guys heard of the 5-year jinx?) I think it’s extremely admirable how they’re putting in all their efforts towards making sure that doesn’t happen because listen. They have money, they have comfortable lives and they can sort of relax and do that thing idol groups do where they half-heartedly put out an album every 12-18 months just for the heck of proving they haven’t disbanded yet. But they’re not, they’re still doing multiple comebacks this year because they want recognition and that is something that resounds with me. 

It’s one thing to be stuck at dirt bottom and give up. It makes me cry to see all those idol groups from underrated companies that die out and never make it, who end up quitting and looking for other options in life. The ones who struggle despite not even making a lot of money. That’s terrible. 

But you know what else is terrible? That feeling that you haven’t lost completely. No, you’re not at the bottom, you did pretty well for yourself but you’re not there yet. You can’t turn back and quit completely, but you also have that last mile left to go and that honestly, that last mile is the hardest. I personally relate to that feeling. It’s the feeling that you’re somewhere up there but you’re not at the top and it’s not hard work or determination or talent that matters anymore, it’s just fucking luck. 

I hope and pray that GOT7 cross that last mile to reach the top in their careers and when they do, I want to be there with them so they can inspire me to cross my own barriers. 

[sinsins52]

Everything Wrong With Everything Wrong With Teen Titans Go! To The Movies

ORIGINAL VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq3g4pJY07Y&t=0s

1.He’s slightly improved in a few ways, but he still has the same terrible intro that begs for likes.

2.He also still refuses to put his sinning intro over the actual title card. So really it’s Everything Wrong With _____

3.”A full minute of intros and I’m not even sure because two of them were for the WB” The 2nd one was for WB Animation, which is no different from all the other major animated films, it ain’t that long of a log sequence until the Marvel joke one.

4.”And already the first joke is them playing off the Marvel Cinematic intro. There’s so many Marvel jokes in this movie one might think they’re a bit bitter because they’re kicking their ass in the movie industry” Marvel is the dominating force in the superhero movie industry, and this movie spoofs a lot of that, so no duh there’s some Marvel jokes. Hell, there’s some potshots at DC, even in the first trailer!

5.”The welcome to Jump City sign is well within the center of the city. I think everyone knows where they are by the time they get that far in” That’s how it works in real though, or in the least my city is like that. And get used to him being pedantic, even by Sin standards..

6.”I don’t think anyone’s accidentally going to Jump City, one of the most riddled with crime places in the world, right next to Gotham or Metropolis” I…don’t get this one. I mean I don’t even know how to explain why you’re wrong I don’t even get your point. That accidentally really throws me off.

7.He sins all the references in this establishing shot, even though they are basically cute Easter eggs that are not sins.

8.”Batman’s not even liked in Gotham yet he has his own building” But maybe Jump City likes him fine. Also, this version of the DC characters is different in tons of ways, so why are you assuming it’s exactly like the other version in this case?

9.”I am upset that this isn’t even a gag character. It’s an actual person who exists in the DC world” That same world also has Kite Man and Condiment King. Just saying, the DC universe is weird and it’s not weird for a spoof movie to acknowledge this.

10.”Before he was crushing buildings with no problems, but now he can squeeze between them without them even building” He was punching at them before to destroy them as they were smaller than him but these two were a bit taller and there was a small space. Do the math.

11.”The safe is comically huge in comparasion to the actual bank” Congrats, you noticed.

12.”This why you can’t bring Starfire to a petting zoo” They were balloons. They pop. Come on.

13.”I get it, they’re supposed to be failed heroes but they’ve done plenty of stuff even in the TTG to be known within their own city” Maybe to the citizens or something, but not to this random villain we’ve never seen in the show before, and maybe he’s not super up to date anyway.

14.”Can’t Wonder Woman still fly in this world? I’m not sure why they gave her the invisible jet other than lol references are funny again”. If I had an invisible jet, I would show it off as much as possible…Maybe not “show” per say…

15.Also, the jet isn’t really a joke so that doesn’t apply here.

16.”Of all the heroes in Jump City, they had to pull out the A squad for Balloon man?” He still a pretty decent threat though, with all the destruction he was doing.

17.”They only make movies about real heroes” “But they’ll sure as hell make a Netflix original about just about anyone” If you’re referring to the Marvel shows, they're about pretty well liked and solid heroes, even Iron Fist isn’t that silly or an idea given their roster.

18.”The titans can afford to make their own movie, they have a private island and own a giant building” You mean like they do make? The one Robin dislikes because it is is so rnky dinky and he wants a serious Hollywood movie?

19.He really over analyzes a background reference to Young Justice.

20.”Further proof that the bat credit card has been canon all along” How does that Utility Belt movie prove this?

21.He shows off a fairly lo0ng clip just to sin another background gag. He likes to run the clips for too long, almost like he wants the video to be longer for extra watch time…

22”Breaking the 4th but yeah, he’s not Deadpool” That would work better if not for the actual Deadpool joke they make later. Oh and this character that character!

23.’I get it, this is a comedy movie-” And that’s when you should have stopped talking. His sin is that Slade being more comedic is “insulting” even though it really isn’t.

(By the way, this scene has them thinking Slade is Deadpool and Slade finds that comparison stupid because there’s plenty of guys with swords like him. The Titans would be amazing at Cinema Sins!)

24.He says he’s removing a sin for the Circe of Life spoof…but he ends up adding one. Whoops.

25.”Batman kills a baby-” In a dream sequence.

26.”This improvised song already has a billboard” A visual gag for a song is a sin I guess. Also, no sin removal for this?!

27.”This might be a bit overboard for a nitpick-” Lol.

28.”Would it have been okay if his dad wasn’t a cop?” No, but that fact does make it a bigger deal.

29.”Stan’s cameos are not subtle but neither are the references in this movie” And yet when they are subtle, you sin them anyway.

30.”Leaving them with the permanent injures” “And huge medical dat making him go right back to that life of crime-” Yes, because if he didn’t have bills, he’d just…give up crime for no reason? Also, I have no idea what he says but it sounds like “Dat” for screw it.

31.”Raven, who didn’t know the time cycles even existed prior to this was able to summon them from an unknown location because that’s how her powers work now” That’s how they’ve always worked but okay.

32.”When I think of rad, I definitely think of terseness are on tricycles” What, you don’t?

33.”What’s up with the 80’s fetishim in this movie? Take on Me, Tricycles-” I don’t think Tricycles are an 80’s thing.

34.”And Batman doesn’t remember the Teen Titans being the ones that pushed his parents into an alleyway to be brutally murdered” Eh, it’s scarring and all but I can buy him not remembering their exact faces and hey, they don’t dwelll on it too much since you’re not supposed to think about the logic in this silly movie too hard.

35.The bit where Cyborg and Beast Boy fal to be saved prompts him to go into this long winded rant on how it’s not possible. And I thought the previous sin was pedantic. This is after he sinned the movie for having bits that go on too long, by the way.

36.The sin counter randomly drops to 42 before going back to 85 in the next sin.

37.”Superman skips leg day, because that’s what happens when you can fly anywhere” …K?

38.”You already have Netflix, so there’s literally no reason for this” This is on a bigger scale and tell that to DC.

39.”Can you guys mainly do this so that Robin can get the movie? Wouldn’t this be the right choice?” I have no idea what you just said.

40.”He would have to keep up this facade all these years to compete these movies” Correct me if I’m wrong but there’s nothing to indicate “Jade Wilson” has been around for years, just that she’s a big director and those can rise fairly quickly sometimes.

(Frankly the real sin is that he didn’t just give the Robin the movie right away so can finish his plot quicker. Seriously, he just made it more complicated for himself)

41.”Slade, instead of using the swords and guns he has, decides to instead blow up an entire town” I think that’s far more efficiency in this case though.

42.”For a plan this is pretty retarded” Ugh.

43.”Added camera shake to make things more intense” Yes, that is why they did that, well done. Also, I hardly even noticed that here.

44.”-And I don’t mean that shitty Netflix original series were Starfire looks like a hooker” It’s not for Netflix and something that way you worded that bugs me.

45.It says Episode Sin Tally.

SINS VIDEO SIN TALLY: 45

SENTENCE: Mind Manipulation

Yep, our old friend Moliminus actually beat SeriesSins to it. I wanted to give SeriesSins time to do his video, but his taking his time so here we are. I will do his sometime in January if all goes well. I think this is the most sins for an off brand video, but that’s only because this video is 27 minutes long for some reason.

Anyway, I want the SinsSin post that goes up closest to Christmas to be a Cinema Sins video, so we’re doing Off Brand sins next week as well. And with it, we go back to a 2000’s animated movie.

[bryanllamado]

ATM with Bryan | 23

We’re finally doing this thing… again. Welcome to ‘how to be bryan.’– the reflections and musings of a young professional on a pursuit to educate and live purposefully. What about that intro, though? Haha! Just trying to open this entry in a different manner this time. It has been 3 weeks since I last wrote and published an entry here, and I took some time off from updating the blog to *sort of* absorb the fact that the new year has come. Well, the year started just fine, but there hasn’t been any obvious change if we were to compare it to the previous one.

To those of you who have been reading the blog for years now (and have been here before my hiatus), you may have stumbled upon this ‘ATM with Bryan’ series where I talk about my currentlys. The last time I have written a volume under this series was in 2018, after the 1st semester of my last year in college. Now, I have been off of school for a year and a half now, and a couple of years older. Isn’t that insane? Time flies so fast, indeed. But we’re not here for that, so I’m giving you a list of my ‘at the moments.’

C U R R E N T L Y

Reading

Worlds of You by Beau Taplin. This is Taplin’s second collection of poetry, first published in 2017. (I know) I am years late, and only learned about this during the ECQ after I asked my IG friends to suggest poetry books for me to read. On another matter, it’s also one of my goals this year to read more (poetry) books because I don’t think my schedule can cater novels. *bleeds in metaphor and imagery*

Writing

the 23rd volume of ATM with Bryan, alongside some songs and poems. Just like what I mentioned in my past entries, I’m ~trying~ to go back to my roots. I’m looking forward to rolling out content for the Valentine’s Day which includes *insert a list of planned online gimmicks* and then some. I just feel like now is the perfect time for us to spread love and actually do so.

Listening

to Spotify’s Hallyu Boy Bands playlist. Isn’t it surprising? Well, the old Bryan that you know is gone. *face palm* To my defense (in case you’re confused AF), I’ve always had a diverse taste in music and it just happened that a few weeks ago, I was listening to a random K-Pop playlist when I heard TXT’s CROWN and the chorus just stuck in my head. I knew I had to give in and listen so yeah. #justified lol

Thinking

about how to handle my finances better during this time of the year. This is one of the constant conversation pieces now that I’m a young adult. I started 2020 on a bad note financially by splurging on unnecessary stuff and not realizing that a ~no work, no pay policy~ pretty much exists. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again, but the thing is, I don’t even have money to spend in the first place. So why bother? *insert GCash number*

Smelling

the alcohol scent from my hands. Here’s a reminder for you all to STILL sanitize and follow the minimum health standards. *winks*

Wishing

for motivation to finish all my assigned tasks and activities this week. I’ve always been an intrinsically motivated person as I do things out of love and passion, but the old Bryan is gone. Haha! Not that I don’t love what I do now, I need extrinsic motivation now more than ever, and I think I’d appreciate it in material manifestations. Long story short, hindi talaga sapat ang love lang! *sighs*

Hoping

to be more organized and to have more storage space in my room. I’ve been watching a lot of lifestyle vlogs recently and I’ve seen some creative ways on how to maximize your space. I also hope to declutter my stuff and get rid of the ones that no longer serve my goals and interests for the New Year. The bad thing about it is that I’m sooo sentimental. I don’t just throw my stuff away– not even coffee receipts and movie tickets from years back.

Wearing

a red pambahay shirt and a pair of swimming shorts.

Loving

my new set of fave Starbucks drinks! Oh God, I can’t stress enough about how addicted I’ve been to some SB drinks these past few weeks. My top three drinks (on the menu) at the moment were Iced Caramel Macchiato, Iced Chai Tea Latte, and Iced Hibiscus Tea with Pomegranate Pearls, and off the menu, I love the Barista Drink, Pink Drink, and Tiktok Drink. I can def write a whole entry about this but yeah. #coffee_forever_and_ever

Wanting

to meet up with my friends who I haven’t seen in a while. I just thought of this now, and while I have internet friends who I can converse with to vent out and rant, I’d also love to catch up with my friends. Zoom meetings are not enough! Good conversations would be better over good food, so to my friends out there, baka naman. I would need money first, though!

Needing

a new phone or tablet. I was supposed to gift myself a new phone last year but due to money matters and delays, I did not meet my expected budget. Quite frankly, this isn’t an immediate concern as my current phone is still very functional, but for me to fully multi-task and maximize productivity, I need a separate phone for gaming, video editing, and file management.

Feeling

bombarded and mentally overwhelmed. I’m grateful for the work and endeavor that I have right now, but now is also the time when I want to pursue artistic and creative pursuits– just like this blog. I want to work on my passion projects, but the guilt eats me up when I try to set my professional tasks aside. I’ve felt so overwhelmed at times that I end up not doing anything. #jokesonme

Clicking

through some podcasts episodes. I think I’ll write an entry about this soon, so watch out for that. I’ve been consuming a lot of audio content in the form of podcasts, for I have grown tired of the current YouTuber culture of pranks, click bait, and nonsense content. Praise the heavens for podcasts! I have discovered a lot of local podcasters and met people through the podcast community– like the AWJP x SOS Fam.

This is where the entry ends for today.

Please check out the other entries on the blog and if you have any requests or any topics you want me to write about, feel free to send me a message.

Till the next entry!

Bry. x 012320

[mintyoongiskookie]

B r o k e n   F e e t

Requested: Yes~  

You should do 2 and 32  

Member: Jeon Jungkook Fuckboy!au

Genre: Humor, fluff, slight angst, implied smut

Word Count: 3,110

#2- “I’m gonna need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.”

#32- “Look I know you really want that seat, but I do too now you should move before I sit on your lap.”

A/N- I’m sorry this just had to be a fuckboy one but I’m totally not sorry Well, here it is, my friend requested so I hope y’all like it~ THANKS LOVELIES

     A harsh knock disrupted you from your sleep, which, mind this dream snatcher, has been the first good few hours of sleep you’d gotten in a long time. Begrudgingly, after enough knocks to think the door would break down, you slid out from the covers of your loft that seemed surprisingly soft and mumbled a quiet, “coming”. When you threw open the door to confront the person who might get punched in the face from you, you surely did not expect to see the fuckboy of the campus, Jeon Jungkook. Oh god, how you hated his guts. You had always hated fuckboys, I mean, who other than sluts liked them? Unfortunately, you two had known each other for quite sometime. You had both grown up in the same hometown, and graduated in the same class. You frequently questioned the universe why you couldn’t have been born a year or two before, just anything to get away from this boy. He used to be so cute and shy - the little boy who was ever scared to accept dandelions from the girls on the playground when he was on the swings for recess. Hell, you two used to be friends, even though you would tease him for having boy cooties. You would always walk with him, wrestle him in the mud when no one else would, and he would finger paint you some picture that meant the world to him and pick you first for flag football on his team. He was your closest friend, your everything. He would never make fun of you for wearing cargo shorts and not dresses, for playing football and blocks instead of house and dress up. But, alas, not all good things last forever. Around sixth or seventh grade, things changed. Puberty hit, and you went from wearing cargo and basketball shorts to leggings and denim shorts. He got taller - surprisingly taller. But you thought that this lanky alien was still the boy you loved, the boy who would stick with you through thick and thin.

     But shit, you couldn’t be more wrong.

     You pretty much acted the same - you’d rather stick to basketball and soccer rather than dance and softball, but hormones got the best of him. He was one of the cool kids, obviously too cool for you. And you knew this was going to happen, but never that fast. You both expected to stick together until out of college, where you’d both either have your own lives and families, or just end up marrying each other. But nope. Life doesn’t ever want you to have what you want, and you had learned that the hard way. He stuck to his sports, but he tried to get as far away from you as possible. He’d ask to switch his seat if he ever got one next to you, and frankly, most people could see how hurt you were. You two had always been glued at the hips, you being one of the only people who he would actually talk to. It almost hurt other people to see this happen, but you learned to get over it. You’d learned to cage up your heart at a young age, and let only a few people crack that barrier, but never infiltrate it. With everything you did, every step you took, you told yourself, don’t ever get close to anyone again. You stuck to two friends, both girls who were like you in many ways, and you all understood each other well. You’d eventually turn into a pop, but not the “Oh look at me, I’m a slut who wears skirts and plays sports and has had one hundred boyfriends already”. Oh no. Far from it. Everyone knew you as the girl who would fight for herself, the girl with the good grades, and the girl who will beat you to a pulp if you’d ever insult her. So, that being known by the whole school, people were decently nice to you. You heard the rumors people say, since your friends give you all the gossip, but couldn’t ever find a shit to give about what anyone had said anymore. You’d basically cut everyone out from your life except those two special friends, to the point where you wouldn’t talk to your parents and they had almost reached out to a therapist. And honestly, you couldn’t even try to believe this all happened because of some measly boy, and you’d try to tell yourself otherwise. He’d hang out with the jocks, and do anything in his power to stay away from you. By eighth grade, you just gave up and blocked him out too. He was a no one to you at this point, you’d pretty much forgotten about him.

     But on that faithful day, when he showed up to your college dorm dripping wet and naked, you were quite amused from the look of pure horror that slapped him in the face.

     Apologies spewed out of his mouth like water from a fountain. Your attention had drifted down to his bare torso. Seeing as it was only 2 in the morning, nothing could really keep your focus for more than a minute. With a lift of a single finger from you, his ranting ceased, and your eyes looked back up to his face. A heavy sigh drifted out of your lips, and you were ready to just crawl back into bed and forget that any of this happened.

     “I’m gonna need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.” You laughed at his red face, thinking, Wow, the one and only Jeon Jungkook, just blushed. This must be a dream. You moved to slam the door shut in his face, but as the action happened, he moved his bare foot between the door frame and the door. A howl of pain erupted from his throat, and you could’ve sworn you heard a few bones crunch. Sighing, you opened your door back up and ignored his hopping figure as you went to find some kind of cover for him. Settling on a towel, you threw it at his chest and slammed the door shut.

     “(Y/N)!!!! Please, open the door, you’re the only person I know for at least three square blocks!!!! I’m sorry for what I did, and what has happened, and I know that none of this should be happening because if I was smarter as a kid we might be in a better college in a nice apartment with better friends and-”

     “Fuck off, Jeon. You made your choice, and I chose to block you out from my life completely. Now keep the damn towel, spare the early birds some nightmares for later tonight, and get the fuck away from me.” Ouch. You could tell that hit something in him, because it even plucked a few of your heart strings. Hearing the soft sigh and the receding patter of feet, you decided to just head back to sleep and persuade yourself that all of this was a dream.

____________________

     “He did what?” You rolled your eyes at the question from your friend and went on to sipping your coffee.

     “He showed up to my dorm, naked, dripping wet, spewing out some kind of apology and asking for what I assume was clothes and a towel. I won’t be surprised if he comes out to find me again. Oh, and I probably broke his foot.”

     “Why the fuck would you break his foot?!” Her exclamation earned you both a few shushes and judgmental stares, as well as a hard glare from you. You answered with a shrug and something simple:

     “He wouldn’t move his foot.” That, also, earned you a groan from her.

     “That’s when you report him, or shove him out, not shatter his bones!”

     “That is very well an option in that situation, and you know it.” A sigh escaped her lips, and she moved to gather all of her stuff into her bag.

     “(Y/N), you know he can sue you, right?”

     “And you know he wouldn’t, right?” You mocked, putting your book mark in your book and placing it in your bag while getting up. “He won’t do it knowing what he did to me and how badly he screwed up my life. I can guarantee you that the little boy is still in there, but he’s just caged up.” You shrugged at her and walked out of the cafe to your classes.

     “… Oh for god’s sake, your literature major is getting to you. Bring the old (Y/N) back, please.” Her hands clasped together in a dramatic show, earning the finger from you. A laugh poured from her lips as she waved and walked to her art building. “There she is. Anyways, see you at lunch!” She jogs away from you as you head to your class, giving her a small wave. Today’s going to be pure hell, you thought. You knew word of what happened had already gotten around, but you also knew that you didn’t care. And that no one cared enough to ask you about it, but just simply play telephone until the story is completely twisted and wrong.

____________________

     You thought you’d heard everything by now. You heard that he’d fucked you. You heard that you stabbed him, and attacked him, hence the broken foot. Hell, you heard that you were actually the leader of a gang and called your members over to kill him. You liked that one the best, it made you laugh. Your classes had ended now, and you’d had one too many run-ins with some of Jungkook’s friends. Luckily, and surprisingly, one of them was your friend. Park Jimin. He was one who stuck with you through your little experience, and had always comforted you when the stories got to your head. Anyways, you two had made plans for you to come to the theater downtown with him for the midnight viewing of “The Mummy”. Now, you were planning to go alone some night that wasn’t the opening, but how could you resist the absolute sweetheart named Jimin? So, your friends being your friends, they invited themselves over to your dorm to, “Help you with your outfit,” despite their lack of fashion sense.

     “So Jimin, huh?” Both of them snickered at your irritated face as you slid into the simple outfit of black denim jeans, a cut off Obey crop top, and some black Vans.

     “Oh, you’re both so fucking funny. Don’t pull that bullshit on me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a movie to watch with my friend and I would appreciate it if you both got the fuck out of my room.” With sarcastic smiles, they both trudged out of your room as you shut and locked the door. Just as you hit the stairwell, you heard one call after you.

     “Don’t forget to tell us the details (Y/N)!~” Once again, her comment earned another finger and you trotted down the stairs and meet up with Jimin.

____________________

     Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

     Those were the only two words running through your head as you saw the silhouette of someone who’s build looked a hell of a lot like Jeon Jungkook’s.

     Including the bulky quad of someone who would be wearing a boot.

     Perhaps the boot of someone with a broken foot.  

     Which may have been caused by someone slamming said foot with a door.

     Yeah, that was him.

     You were contemplating turning and sprinting away while you still could, but it was too late at that time, seeing as you could hear Jimin calling out your name. Damn you Jimin. But, the closer you approached, you saw the apologetic look in his eyes, now fully understanding that this was all the little brat’s choice, and Jimin couldn’t have possibly stopped him. So, you chose to walk in with them, ignoring the gaze that was burning holes into the back of your skull. After everyone but Jungkook found their seats, you took up the duty to gather the snacks and drinks. One your way back up the isle, you knocked shoulders with Jungkook, setting him off balance. You knew he was more confident today, your outburst from last night, or rather early this morning, boosting his esteem.

     “Don’t get to rough just yet Princess, it’s only the first night.”

    Princess? God, you were so close to barfing and breaking his other foot. How were you both friends once? But, choosing to just walk away and get back to your duty, you came back later with snacks for everyone. But that wasn’t the only thing you came back to. He was in your spot. Your spot. A growl was threatening to tear from your throat, but you just quietly handed everyone their food and went to block his view. You gulped as you saw his signature smirk glued onto his face as he gazed at you, and wait, why were you nervous? Why is your heart hammering? (Y/N), keep it under control! A sigh escaped your lips, and you chose to go the simple way, seeing as the room was much too quiet for the both of you to start up a fight.

     “Look, I know you really want that seat, but I do too now you should move before I sit on your lap.” Oh shit, there’s that blush again. You couldn’t believe this. The Jeon Jungkook, blushed at your words for a second time. That was absolute madness. You even caught how he adverted his eyes for a second, and how he uncomfortably squirmed the slightest bit before patting his thighs and smirking all over again.

     “Have at it.” And so you did.

     That was something he wasn’t expecting.

     And fuck, you realized that he’s still a guy, let alone one who goes around fucking girls, and that’s when you felt it. Ohhhhhh no. Please, let that be something in his pocket, please oh please oh please oh please. But by the groan that came from his lips that he tried to cover with a cough, you knew it wasn’t something in his pocket.

     Ladies and gents, you had just given him a boner.

     In some way, you were sort of proud, because hey, don’t fucking mess with me bitch. But, you also were aware of the bright blush on your cheeks as you trained your eyes on the screen. This was going to be a long night.

____________________

     Around the mid way point of the movie, you slipped out to use the bathroom, yet almost everyone in that damn theater knew that wasn’t the case, seeing as you didn’t dare to move for majority of the movie. With that being said, you opted out on chilling on the sinks for a bit before you heard the footsteps of a limp enter. Your eyes widened as Jungkook limped his way in, trying to be as quiet as possible for someone in his situation.

     “What the fuck are you doing in here?!” The sharp whisper left your lips as you jumped down to pull him out of sight of anyone who might come in. “You’re gonna get us kicked out! What if someone saw you?! Oh god, someone saw you didn-” Your sentence gets cut off by the soft feeling of his plush lips pressed against yours, and the first thing you noticed was the sweet strawberry taste of the Twizzlers he had been eating. Your cheeks burn, and he pulls you flush against him with his arms draped around your waist. His tongue swiped over your lips, and you graciously granted access.

     After a few minutes of hair pulling and tongue fighting, you both broke away gasping for air, and that old bunny-like smile plastered over his swollen lips.  “I had to shut you up one way or another, so I went with the one I would’ve liked best.” He was back, the little boy you loved so much, the one who you had found out loved you back. “(Y/N)… I’m still sorry about all that happened… I was so stupid, and naive, and I honestly don’t know why I thought I could ever live without you in my life.”

     A soft chuckle escaped your lips as you tilted your head to look up at him. “Yes, you were all those things, but I still love you and I don’t really think any dick move you did could’ve eliminated my feelings for good. Jeon Jungkook, I love you, always have, and always will.” A smile graced your lips as you ended, and a grin placed itself on Jungkook’s.

     “I love you too (Y/N).” And he topped it off with a kiss.

     You were right, tonight was going to be a long night.

____________________

     “Corinna, come on, mommy needs to get you to school on time!” The giggle of your daughter lit up your eyes, and you set off to find her and your son. Your husband peeked out from the bedroom, looking down over the upstairs railing at you.

     “Hide and seek again?”

     “Yes Jungkook, now instead of playing with them again, could you please help me try to find them?” A laugh bubbled out from his chest, and you couldn’t help but grin and the melodious sound.

     “Okay baby, just a sec.” He goes to find them, hands fiddling in an attempt to tie his tie. But he certainly didn’t expect the door of his childrens’ bedroom to slam shut on his foot, a yelp of agony slipping from his throat.

     Both of the children joined in yelling for you, saying that, “DADDY’S FOOT GOT STUCK IN THE DOOR AGAIN!!!” You rushed up the stairs to see your husband cradling his foot on the floor and a laugh broke out from your lips.

     “Really Jungkook, what is it with you and breaking your foot in doors?” This made a smile tug at his lips, and you swoop in for a quick peck. The kids chide in with sounds of distaste as you both laugh, and you pull out your phone. “I’ll call in for you, and we’ll get you to the hospital after dropping the kids off at school.”

     “Thanks baby, I love you~”

     “I love you too, now go rest that foot.”

     And suddenly, all of your childhood fantasies had come true, and you knew you could never ask for a different life.

[compunctionjunction]

11 facts about me

i was tagged by @1of1prism​ to post 11 facts abt me!!! thank you <3 

(sophie i literally copy and paste ur old posts into my new posts so I’m probably gonna copy some of ur facts whoops) 

1. hi my name is marina ((but that’s in my basic blog description so i’m gonna pull a sophie and give u 2 facts in one thing even though it’s CHEATING)) and I am...... a millennial sjw ...............smh millenials..............,,,,,,,,,,,, 

2. I’m at uni and i study social justice stuff and also geography (migration...immigration.....urban planning....) and I’m pretty good at writing essays but i procrastinate like nobody’s business lol (yikes!!!) and i like to read (which i guess is good cause i probably have 200 pages a week!! not including when i have to read (a) whole book(s) ie english!)

3. I’m not like a masterchef but I can do a recipe i’ve never done before and generally have it turn out pretty good which is apparently impressive to some? i like baking with friends as a fun thing to do but I’m also really controlling in the kitchen so it’s probably not that fun after all LOL

4. I’m allergic to almost everything lol. including:

dogs, cats, any furry animal that exists

birds and feathers

dust, mould, etc

trees and grass, 

some random medicine i dont know the name of (i didnt know this until like last year cause i went to emerg but ya thats a thing it apparently gives me a rash)

5. i’m an anxious bean but like under really like......inconsistent (?) circumstances? or more like uh....non-.......whats the word like when it doesn’t match what your brain thinks something it would be (WHATEVER) anyway like yesterday I almost cried cause i didn’t understand a card game but one time when i was a kid my little bro had a seizure and my parents had to rush him to the hospital and we had to call my grandma to come over, and like my sister was all !!!!!!??? boo hoo hoo and i was all like “gimme the phone i’ll do it”. like sometimes i keep a very cool head in situations you wouldn’t think i would and sometimes im a mess in a situation u’d think i wouldn’t be u know what i’m trying to say

6. I really like music but i’m not like that Musical Person friend. Like I listen to a lot of music of a bunch of different genres and time periods and in elementary/high school I played the trumpet (i also did piano and euphonium but like if u gave me one of those now I wouldn’t be able to do much with it whereas if u gave me a trumpet.....man). I really like acoustic songs, and songs with violins and saxophones in it, HARMONIES, songs where people’s voices go really “raw” sounding, songs where people’s voices have that like “radio voice” filter, songs that start off kinda soft and then BUILD!!!!!, and songs that have a bunch of different parts all doing their own thing but then they all come together for this multilayered goodness!!!!!. If anyone other than John or Sophie is reading this (bless your soul if so) and if u have song recs for me, like, lay them on me i always need new music

7. I don’t get a lot of mainstream references but I have a weird um...pool of reference material that I can pull from?? like i’m not like That Guy who’s like rly obnoxious always talking abt those obscure movies but my parents are both like from drama stuff and like movies/shows and are also huge nerds so i’ve seen like a wide array of genre-d stuff. plus i took a film course so i’m basically an expert. did you know that plot and story are two different things? Story is whe---

8. My family’s kinda complicated. (wow i sound like an emo blog in 2006 but i just didnt want to start another long rambley sentence so here we are) My mom’s side is italian and my dad’s side is british so my italian relatives weren’t too happy abt that (i just learned this the other day but apparently at their wedding my moms uncle [who’s a dick] was saying something inappropriate to my dad, who was like “uhhhh...” and then her other uncle was like ‘ay! tony! leave the asshole alone!’ LOL) and then the british side is full of drama and alcoholics lol. and then the communication in my like... regular fam is a bit bad lol ((also i have like......30+ cousins, (20ish regular and a shit ton distant but less that i actually know) and yet we keep in contact with each other so what a weird ironic twist that is eh))

9. I can like kind of swim but I also like can’t swim cause I don’t float even though everyones like “ya u do!! people float” i just sink down lol. tho i’m kind of practicing a bit every summer at my friend’s house. i also like to pretend that it’s because of childhood trauma cause i had swimming lessons on two (2) different occasions  and they were both awful

when i was like 6 , and i refused to put my face in the water so my instructor was like “Right!” and shoved my head under lol!

when i was like 10 and i was embarrassed enough being like an older kid learning like... level 1 swimming right before these like 5 year olds who were doing the same thing (also in retrospect my instructors were only like 16 im pretty sure, like they seemed rly old to 10 year old me but they were really young lol) and the same thing happened as the other one except with diving lol. like i didn’t want to jump off the deep end and sometimes i would do it myself but at least once this girl pushed me in (basically every time either way they had to pull me up from the bottom which was kinda useless like if ur gonna teach me to dive whats the point if u dont teach me to come up from a dive right?? right)

10. I’m kinda quiet and shy but when I have the chance and am comfortable i go on HUGE rants and also go off on like 12 different tangents while trying to tell a story. like you could probably figure out this about me by reading this post but i just wanna let you know this isn’t a one-off thing just because it’s a Fact Post like i do this in real life and the way i talk is probably just as broken up and confusing as how i type!!! ahhaah

11. I used to be a hater but now I’m like actively trying to not be a hater cause hating on stuff for no reason is boring and liking stuff is fun (tho it’s harder in person cause i’m really sarcastic and pessimistic and i literally can’t stop complaining about things). Some things I stopped hating on recently:

Aesthetic things that are like “basic”/”simple” (i have an aesthetic blog now! who knew!) like pictures of like......curtains?? i used to be like “wow thats dumb” but man textures and also the weird mood that’s connected with your aesthetic it’s so calming

K-pop LOL :) 

Honestly?? memes. 

Boys apparently??? I dunno how true that is but @1of1prism​ knows me better than I know myself most of the time (but i still dont give 2 shits abt boys)

fanning over stuff in general tbh like.... enjoy things

people in a judgemental sense (im working on it....)

Intrigued by this post? Interested in my life? Check out my /tagged/about! Follow me on tumblr for more quality content! 

(Jesus i’m done this legitimately took an hour)

i tag @purewhiteflames​ as well and i also tag @nuliflyer​ just to ruin ur “i’ve only been tagged once” so ha ha 

[k-histoires-blog]

Introduction of the admins

Hello everyone,

This is a new account all about K-pop, K-dramas, anime and what not. We will post fanfictions written by us, drawings we made, and a lot more. Please keep in mind that none of us is a professional in any way in writing, drawing etc. We started this account purely for fun and to connect and interact with other people in the world who enjoy K-pop, K-dramas, etc. This account is a creative outlet for us and critique and criticism is always welcome. We will try our best to listen to your complaints or tips and change our account/content for the better.

Never be afraid to leave a comment or ask us a question because that is why we started this blog. However, all of the admins do have a personal life and school/university so we will not be able to reply or post content all the time. We hope you understand this and support us anyway.

Another important thing to be addressed is the matter of plagiarism. We will NOT accept any form of plagiarism for the work we post here was made by us and nobody else. It took us hard work and time to create all the stories and other things, so if anyone decides to use (some) of our work, we will take action. If anyone sees content of ours on another blog - or somewhere else on the internet - without our permission, please report this to us and we will take action. Thank you in advance.

That said, we would like to introduce ourselves individually.

Admin Bluebell:

Hey everyone,

I am the admin called Bluebell or also known as the thick thighs enthusiast (I am looking at you Jimin, Jungkook, Jooheon, Wonho, Shownu etc.). My real name is Fleur and like the other admins I am Dutch. I got into K-pop, I think, at the end of 2015. The first group to spark my interest was EXO and since then I was hooked. My bias in EXO went from Chen to Chanyeol to Baekhyun and D.O. If I could listen to D.O. sing every day for the rest of my life I would be a happy girl.

However, after seeing a certain clip of BTS I started stanning them and my life changed forever. (cheesy I know). At first my bias was Taehyung, then Jimin decided to creep in my life and screw up my feelings but since about 7 months I have found my ultimate bias. It is the one and only leader Kim Namjoon. I could rant for nine years about why I love him so much but no one has that much time. I like a lot of other artists as well, such as BTOB (after BTS they are my favourite group), EXO of course, Monsta X, GOT7, Day6, Shinee, Block B, VIXX, NCT, Big Bang, MAMAMOO, EXID, Red Velvet, Twice, f(x), Girls Generation, Dean, Zion. T, Heize, Hoody and the list goes on and on.

I’m not a big fan of K-dramas but I am a big fan of (K)-movies. So if you have any recommendations or just want to talk about a movie with me, you can message us!  I also love reading books and especially if they were written by Neil Gaiman. So if you can always message me when you want to geek out about a book or series.

In terms of what I will be posting on this account, you can mainly expect stories and drawings. I know I am still lacking a lot in both of these departments but I will try my best to create interesting and good content. I apologise if my stories won’t be so long because I do struggle with that, but this will not stop me from trying. Also my drawings aren’t the best ever  but I am confident enough to post them!

I think that was all there is to know about me so I am looking forward to running this blog with my fellow two admins and let’s have fun whilst doing so!

Admin Boa:

I'm the admin with the 'second lead syndrome' so if you want to rant about why the second lead deserves the girl/ how unfair life is you've come to the right place!

My real name is Frédérique but everyone calls me Freddie. I'm 18 years old (20.11.1998) and I currently live in the Netherlands. My nationality is Dutch but I was practically born and raised in England.

My favourite actors include (not in this order bc I literally can't choose a favourite): Choi Tae Joon, Do Ji Han, Seo Kang Joon, Kim Woo Bin, Lee Jong Suk and many many more!!! My favourite actrices are Park Shin Hye and Kim Go Eun.

I also write fanfiction, badly. But I'll upload my fics anyways. They're mostly boy×boy. I don't write for a specific group because there are a lot of groups that I stan and they all deserve love and attention. My favourite boy group always changes because of comebacks lmao, but I'm very loyal to my favourite girl group f(x). My ultimate bias is SEVENTEEN's Mingyu (he's literally the definition of adorkable).

The underground rap scene also has a lot of music I enjoy listening to (for as far as I know it). My favourite Korean program is SMTM. I recently got into Chinese films so if you would like to recommend any, please do so! I love reading good books so a recommendation is never a bad thing!

If you want to know more about me or like talking about any of the above (and more) please don't be shy and leave a message! The more people to talk with the better!

My personal 'K-pop experience'

I got to know K-pop in 2013 (if we don't count PSY's Gangnam Style) when I watched SHINee's Ring Ding Dong. I found it really funny and different from what I usually listened to since it was something I'd never seen before. I started liking it because it made me laugh. In the beginning for me it just looked really stupid (no offense, I love SHINee and I love Ring Ding Dong but I'd never seen something of the like). I really didn't take it serious. It was only when I saw more and different K-pop groups and their concepts that I started to take K-pop seriously as a hobby. When I watched SWING by Super Junior-M with a friend, that's when I began to see K-pop not only as comedic entertainment, but also as a great music genre with crazy good choreographies.

My first ultimate bias was Taehyung from BTS. I decided that when I saw him in I NEED U. He was gorgeous. Although he's still my BTS bias, my ultimate bias changed about a year later to Mingyu and it has stayed that way.

Groups that I stan off the top of my head are: SEVENTEEN, WINNER, NCT, B.A.P, SHINee, BTS, GOT7, KNK, BLOCK B, DAY6, f(x), Brave Girls, TWICE, FIESTAR, etc.

I also like a lot of soloists including: Crush, DEAN, Jay Park, C.Jamm, BeWhy, and many more!

I'm also taking a course of the Korean language. I'm very bad at learning new languages but I'm trying this anyways! (I'm not very advanced and I forget a lot so don't expect much of it lmao)

This is what I like in short. If you'd like to ask about more personal stuff (within certain boundaries) you're always welcome to do so!

I probably won't post often since I have 0 skills, but I'll be here to chat if you'd like!!

Admin Ana:

Hi everyone!

I'm Admin Ana, best described as a procrastinating perfectionist who tends to abuse the passive voice in her writings a lot. I'm 17 years old, born and raised in the Netherlands and an avid listener to Korean music since June 2016. My hobbies include makeup, music, reading, writing and travelling. I started taking writing seriously about five years ago, and it has been one of my hobbies ever since. Besides writing, I also like to draw. Even though I haven't drawn in a really long time, I'd still consider it one of my favourite things to do. If I pick up the pen and muster up the courage, I might share some of my drawings in the future as well.

Among the three of us, I was the last to start taking a liking to Korean music and Korean dramas and in all honesty, I was a little sceptical about the whole thing at first. Despite my doubts, I decided to give both a try and after watching the first few episodes of Kill Me, Heal Me, I fell in love with all that the Korean entertainment industry has to offer. Besides Kill Me, Heal Me, I've also watched and enjoyed dramas such as Goblin, Strong Woman Do Bong Soon, W, Doctors, Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo and Chicago Typewriter. Frankly, even after immersing myself in Korean dramas, it still took quite a while before I started appreciating Korean music. Yet, after being introduced to BTS by my fellow admins, I was won over. Soon DEAN and EXO caught my eye as well, and ever since then, I've been a lost cause. In one year’s time, I’ve got to know a lot of artists. Some of my favourites include BIGBANG, Monsta X, Block B, WINNER and GOT7. I'm also an AOMG enthusiast.

On this blog, I'll be mainly posting my drawings and writings. If I feel like promoting a soloist, group or series, I'll do so as well. If you have a question recommendation or request, feel free to message us! I'd love to chitchat a little. If you want to talk or ask us anything on a more serious note, don't hesitate to message us as well.