#my friend said she can’t imagine him sounding like canon ford so this is her fault really

[jellyskink]

Canon Ford’s confident, powerful voice didn’t fit Domesticated very well, so I made an executive decision. It also fits all the shit Bill has put him through. Yaaaaay! ✨

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Three Days of The Hunter Job

leverage 2.05

hunt for the truth = fox news

you can’t change my mind, sorry

- - - - -

Nate: Here's what we can do. We can probably get you enough money to save the house and pay for medical bills--

Sarah: We aren't interested in money, Mr. Ford. This woman took my father's self-esteem. She took his reputation. She took his good name. That's what he needs back.

someone needs to make a compilation of their clients being noble as hell

- - - - -

Sophie: I wanna take the lead on this one. I wanna do what you do.

Nate: Yeah, listen, I know breakups can be very difficult, Sophie.

Sophie: Whoa. No, that's not what this is about.

Nate: I know that you have this need to be in control right now, you know.

Sophie: I don't have any such need.

Nate: But you can't project that onto the con.

Sophie: Excuse me? This, coming from the man who spent an entire year drunk, working out his obsessive vengeance on every dimwit in a suit who happened to cross our line of vision.

Nate: Hey, you put some thought into that one, didn't you?

Sophie: You know, I'm not tryin' to control the universe just because some guy dumped me. I-I appreciate the concern. I just, I need a new challenge.

Nate: Okay. (hands Sophie the files) This is your job.

Sophie: Thanks. Now, let's go get this bitch. (walks away)

Nate: Oh, boy

fucking get rekt nate you’re the literal last one to talk

- - - - -

huh nate is wearing flannel in this one

- - - - -

Sophie: Exactly. And then to protect themselves, they issue an apology to Mr. Pennington and then they throw Monica Hunter into the jaws of the very media machine that she bent to her own malicious will.

Parker: Wow. I gotta say, Sophie's briefings are much more dramatic.

Eliot: And poetic.

parker and eliot are cute

- - - - -

Sophie: But we can sell a story that commands respect. A story that she's gonna chase to get the respect she craves. Hm? Pack your bags, everyone. We're going to D.C. to make news.

(everyone continues sitting, looking uncomfortable)

Nate: That's when you wanna...

Sophie: I wanna do that bit again. Pack your bags, everyone. We're going to D.C. to make news. (leaves room)

Nate: She's walking into the closet

SOPHIE ITS OKAY YOU DONT NEED TO GO IN THE CLOSET

- - - - -

Parker: I got the pass. Easy.

Sophie: Parker, we went over this.

[Exterior Studio]

Sophie: You're not supposed to take it. Get caught with it.

Parker: I don't know how to get caught.

Sophie: Yeah, I know it's difficult to steal badly. Just, just try

- - - - -

Monica (grabs Parker): Hey. Hey. I will have you arrested for trespassing if you do not tell me what you are doing here.

Parker: Technically, you can't have me arrested for trespassing because you don't own the station.

Sophie: Parker, tell her the story

parker: TRY ME BITCH

- - - - -

hardison doing crazy tinfoil hat guy is iconic

+ parker and hardison’s high five and “that’s what I’m talkin about!” ADORABLE

- - - - -

Parker: Eliot, these conspiracies aren't real, right?

Eliot: What do you mean?

Parker: Like that one over there that says all the major wars of the past 50 years were ordered by members of The Council.

Eliot: Parker, I'm not at liberty to discuss that with you. (walks away)

Parker: You're not a member of The Council, are you? Eliot? Is he?

Nate: Oh, I don't know. (walks away)

Parker: Huh? Uh, Nate, is he?

parker looked so vulnerable asking it and eliot’s just like,,, imma fuck with her LMFAO

also this is another chaotic ot3 scene that I’d die for

- - - - -

eliot taking the general’s id with his pencil and handing it off to hardison? SMOOTH AS FUCK

- - - - -

Parker: But what if he won't talk to us?

Monica: Then we celebrate.

Parker: Celebrate?

Monica: Denial means guilt. Refusal means more guilt. Punch out my cameraman, and I'll kiss you on the mouth.

Camera Man: Mm-hm.

parker: 👀👀👀

- - - - -

parker gets hit with a car ,,, how many times in this series does she get hit with a car ??

- - - - -

monica’s face when she sees parker get hit by a car is LITERALLY the exact same as the surprised pikachu face

+

bruh imagine you see this happening ,,, like a girl get hit by a car, a suit running out, grabbing stuff of her body, then running away ???

her playing dead on the ground for a hot minute before “waking up”, dusting herself off and walking away ???

- - - - -

Hardison: Move. Don't stop. Come on.

Monica: They ran her over.

Hardison: I know, but we gotta go. Security cameras, the ATM cameras, the traffic cameras. We're always being watched. Just put your head down. Act natural.

Monica: Why are you dressed like a mailman?

Hardison: Invisible man, mailman, nobody notices the mailman. He blends right in. Just like a circus clown.

- - - - -

Parker: We totally went to the moon.

Eliot: Movie sets. I've seen 'em. They're outside of Albuquerque.

Parker: Why would there still be sets there?

Eliot: Because they're gonna reuse 'em for the Mars mission. Repaint it all red.

her bumping shoulders with eliot and leaning on him? the casual intimacy that nourishes my S O U L

- - - - -

Sophie: She has to have corroboration from her own sources. She has to craft the narrative. Monica Hunter has to be the author of her own personal nightmare.

Nate: Do I sound that creepy when I...?

Eliot: Hell yes.

Parker: Mm-hm.

Nate: Really?

Eliot: You do

- - - - -

Sophie: The only question is whether Hardison guessed her sources right.

Hardison: G-guess? Guess?

Sophie: Well, you know.

Hardison: Woman, my name Alec Hardison. I do not guess, OK? Look, journalists, they're lazy. They always go back to the same sources. I compared Monica Hunter's stories for the last ten years and created a heuristic model based on her sources. I-I filtered by story type, priority and evidentiary chain. Look, (pulls up info on laptop) sex scandal: 87 percent chance she goes to these sources. Serial killer scare: 90 percent she contacts these sources for confirmation. Government secrets and health scare intersects: Ninety-five percent chance she goes to these sources. Look, look. Right there. She's emailing them right now. Look.

- - - - -

Hardison: Get me out of here.

Sophie: Yeah, I'm working on it.

Parker (comes out of back room pulling on jacket): I'm on it.

Sophie: No, no, no, no, no, you cannot go. You're dead. Monica Hunter sees you and the whole con is blown.

Parker: Right

PARKER WAS R E A D Y TO GO IN AFTER HIM WE LOVE A PROTECTIVE OT3

- - - - -

Hardison: Damn the con. I'm a black man caught on an Army base with a video camera. I am going to jail forever.

the realest part of the show

- - - - -

Hardison: Eliot, get me everything you can on a Lieutenant Abbot.

[Apartment]

Hardison: Just-just do what I taught you.

Eliot (typing on laptop): Now, the "http" thing comes before—

[Interrogation Room 2]

Eliot: --the "www-dot," right?

Hardison: Eliot!

[Apartment]

Eliot: Which one's the forward slash?

Sophie: Oh, come on.

[Interrogation Room 2]

Hardison: It ain't the time, Eliot. It ain't the time.

[Apartment]

Eliot: It's not fun when you're hanging out there in the wind and there's a dude behind a laptop cracking jokes, is there?

Parker: (holding a gas mask over her face before looking over it) I like it when we switch jobs. It's exciting

someone PLEASE make an eliot-being-bad-at-technology compilation I’m begging

also it’s officially canon that hardison tries teaching eliot about technology

- - - - -

Eliot: No, that's everything on this guy.

Lieutenant: Sir, I need to know why you're on this base.

Hardison: Yes. Why am I on this base?

Lieutenant: I'm asking you.

Hardison: No, I'm asking you. Why am I on this base? Why am I in this room?

Lieutenant: So I can ask you questions.

Hardison: Or maybe it's so I can ask you questions, Lieutenant Kyle Abbot, Social Security 823-24-6270?

Lieutenant: I don't know what you're up to.

Hardison: Maybe you’re not cleared to know. Two disciplinary actions? That one in Germany? Maybe you're just too much of a security risk.

(lieutenant goes to leave and Hardison slams his fist on the table)

Hardison: Did I say you could leave?

(lieutenant swallows nervously)

T H I S

S C E N E

T H O

- - - - -

[Army Base Gate]

Nate: Not gonna work.

Eliot: It's all in the salute, man.

[Apartment]

Sophie: Just work the stars and bars. Nobody wants to--

[Army Base Gate]

(a soldier moves to the side of the car and leans in, saluting Nate)

Sophie: --look a general in the eye.

Nate: Uh, good form soldier. As you were.

Soldier: Clear.

(the gate goes up and Nate pulls into the base, parking near a building. He gets out of the car and walks toward the door)

- - - - -

Nate: We hunt for the truth through many dark places. (approaches Monica menacingly) I am a patriot, Ms. Hunter. I'm sorry. (to Eliot) Earl.

(Monica takes a can of pepper spray from her purse and sprays it in Nate’s face, driving him back. She runs out the door as he groans in pain. Eliot goes to pat his back)

Eliot: Good thing Parker switched that with water.

Nate: Didn't! Didn't switch. (they both start coughing)

LMFAO

- - - - -

Monica: My friends, this is the enemy. Our water has been poisoned.

(an aide spits out a mouthful of water)

JFNSKDKEJWJNFJ

- - - - -

(Eliot is cutting vegetables while Nate opens a bottle of wine and Hardison swirls orange soda in a wine glass)

hardison is literally swirling his neon orange soda in a wine glass as eliot cooks actual food for the fam I CANNOT

- - - - -

Parker (holds up photo): Loch Ness Monster.

Hardison: Loch Ness submarine.

Parker: No!

Eliot: Scottish waters are cold and deep. It's a perfect place to test.

Parker (holds up photo): Area 51.

Eliot: True.

Hardison: False.

Eliot: That's true.

Hardison: False. She said Area 51, 51.

Eliot: I'm sorry. False. Area 52.

Hardison: Been there.

Eliot: Yep

I’m crying the ot3 was top tier chaotic this entire episode and parker was having A Time™ with all these conspiracies

someone make a compilation of these scenes overlayed with the wii music. pls.

[stariousfalls]

A/N: Had a conversation with a friend (@fallen-gravity) over different canon divergence situations in Gravity Falls, and felt determined to write something angsty. I miss Gravity Falls a lot, haha.

Characters: Mabel Pines, Dipper Pines, Ford Pines, Bill Cipher

Word Count: ~2500

Summary: Canon Divergence of DAMVTF where Mabel decides to not give the rift to Bill and runs off. And Bill angrily goes after her, not wanting to miss the chance of taking over the dimension.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A choked sob escaped through her trembling hands as she tried to keep herself quiet.

Would he find her? What would happen when he found her?

She didn’t want to find out the answer to either question. Mabel wished she were back at the shack, talking it out with Dipper and making up with him. She didn’t care if her twin would continue to explain to her why he’d decided to take on an apprenticeship with Ford – she just desperately wanted out of this stressful game of cat and mouse.

She wondered why Bill had gone delirious over some strange ‘makeshift snow globe’ in her brother’s backpack, but whatever the reason was she ran like a bat out of hell. Ran as far as her legs could take her, until they trembled out of control from both fear and fatigue.

Whatever sick intention it was all for, Mabel knew it wasn’t good. The fact that Bill had literally possessed her brother’s body to try and get what he wanted made her question all the more. Something linked to Ford, she assumed. It was difficult for her to come up with an exact reason, as her brother and grunkle never shared any information with her and kept to themselves. So, she was left to fend for herself over an item she didn’t even know the purpose of – other than it being important to Bill.  

Mabel continued sitting in place to recollect herself. She wished she could’ve been a part of the loop with Dipper, then maybe things wouldn’t have turned out this way; being hunted down by a literal demon.

She had no idea how much time had passed before she heard soft static coming from the backpack.

“Mabel?”

Mabel’s heart fluttered sporadically in her chest.

“D-Dipper?” She choked out softly.

“Mabel, where are you? Mabel!”

She immediately rummaged through the bag and pulled out a walkie talkie – the source of the noise.

“Dipper…” Mabel repeated hoarsely into the device, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

“Mabel! Where – “

She heard something snap nearby and panicked, quickly pressing the speak button to silence his rambling. In any other situation Mabel would be floored to hear Dipper’s voice, but under these circumstances she didn’t want to be found. Her body shook uncontrollably at the thought of Bill finding her.

She took a deep, shaky breath before responding. “D-Dipper…I can’t talk right now, I-I – “

“Mabel, I’m so sorry about what I said earlier! Please come back to the shack! We can work things out, I – “

The young girl released a quivering sob at the sound of his frantic pleas over the intercom. She inwardly pleaded with her brother that he’d get the hint and stop his attempts of trying to reach her.

“Dipper, please!” Mabel softly cried, heartrate spiking at the thought of Bill picking up on her location. “I-I can’t come back to the shack right now.”

“Mabel, where are you? If you refuse to come back, I’m coming to get you!”

The sound of footsteps trekked close. Mabel’s breath hitched in her throat as she fumbled with the talking device, trying to desperately turn it off. She continued to tremble in fear.

Was Bill nearby? Had she given away her whereabouts? Or was she just imagining things?

“Mabel!”

She whimpered.

“W-What do I do?” She asked herself, tears streaming down her face.

The only thing her instincts manage to scream at her was; keep running.

Mabel tightened her grip on the walkie talkie and bolted out of her hiding spot, unintentionally leaving the backpack behind. She didn’t dare to look back when she heard something picking up speed behind her like some wild animal chasing its prey.

She hoped she still had enough energy left to outrun him.

“Mabel, you need to tell us where you are, please.”

Her eyes widened. “Grunkle Ford?” She whispered in reply, briefly glancing down to the device.

“I-I don’t…I don’t know where I am!” She wailed out between breaths, finally glancing back to see a pair of wild, glowing yellow eyes staring her down. “Help me!! Dipper! Grunkle Stan!! Grunkle Ford – “

Mabel yelped like a kicked puppy when she tripped over a root, plummeting to the cold ground.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ford picked up on Mabel’s erratic behavior when Dipper tried to communicate with her. She sounded quiet, shaky, and in a way…desperate? She refused to come back to shack, which he at first understood with her being upset. However, a part of him told him – something was wrong. Normally a child would be more vocal when being stubborn and distressed. This didn’t appear to be the case with Mabel. A bad feeling pooled in the pit of his stomach.

He eventually pried the walkie talkie out of his grand-nephew’s hands to try and speak with her.

“Mabel, you need to tell us where you are, please.” He pleaded into the intercom.

“Grunkle Ford?”

Her hoarse voice pulled at Ford’s heartstrings. Something was definitely wrong.

“I-I don’t…I don’t know where I am! Help me!! Dipper! Grunkle Stan!! Grunkle Ford – ”

Frantic thoughts flooded Ford’s mind at the sound of his grand-niece’s screaming and sobbing. She sounded like she was in immense pain. His grip tightened on the walkie talkie. What happened to her?

A familiar maniacal laugh rung out of the device’s speaker.

“You’re too late, Sixer!”

Ford instantly felt his blood run cold. It’s like he knew he was there on the other line.

“Leave her alone, Cipher!” He spat out, anger boiling over the fear at the thought of Bill tormenting his grand-niece.

Ford hears a mix between sobs of agony and irritable growls spewing out of the walkie talkie. What was going on? He waited for Bill to bite back, gloating over the fact that the fate of the universe was now within his grasp. However, what he wasn’t expecting was a threat.

“The clocks ticking, Ford. Be here in an hour or Shooting Star won’t live to see another day. Don’t keep me waiting.”

Ford hightailed it into the woods without a second thought, with Dipper not far behind him. He sure as hell didn’t know where Mabel was being held at Bill’s mercy, but that wasn’t going to stop him from finding her in time. He was a man of science, but that didn’t deter him from desperately pleading to any godly entity out there to spare his grand-niece’s life while he rushed through the underbrush of the forest.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mabel screamed when Bill roughly yanked her body off the ground by her hair.

“No! Let me go!!” Mabel shrieked in horror, trying to wriggle herself out of his grasp.

Maniacal laughter bubbled out of the mouth of the body he possessed, eyes gleaming with glee. He picked up the walkie talkie off the ground with a snicker.

“You’re too late, Sixer!” He mocked into device, grin widening at the thought of Ford’s horror-struck face.

“Leave her alone, Cipher!”

Before he had the chance to rub his victory further into Ford’s face, he realized (upon further inspection) that the rift was nowhere to be found. His grip tightened around the child’s hair, knuckles turning white.

Mabel cried out in pain when she felt a violent tug at her hair.

“Where’s the rift, Shooting Star?!” He snarled angrily at her.

She could only begin to tremble and sob in response to the yelling and the rough treatment.

Bill let out an irritable growl into the walkie talkie. “The clocks ticking, Ford. Be here in an hour or Shooting Star won’t live to see another day. Don’t keep me waiting.”

“Dipper...” she choked out before succumbing to the pain, body going limp.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How long had they been running for? Ford had no idea, but the burning in his legs told him he’d probably been doing so for a while now. His mind screamed at him to keep going, but his body told him otherwise – giving out on him, causing him to stagger down to the ground briefly to catch his breath. All the injuries and strain he endured from earlier were catching up to him.

Damn this accursed old body, he thought to himself.

Dipper in the meantime paced back and forth in front of Ford, distressing over the thought of never finding his sister and assuming the worst. A wave of overwhelming guilt washed over him and his breaths came out short and frantic.

“This is all my fault! I should’ve talked to Mabel about everything before making any decisions. I didn’t even consider Mabel’s feelings, I – “

“No, Dipper,” Ford’s voice is soft, almost childlike. “The blame should all be on me. I’m the one who was the initial cause of all this mess. If it wasn’t for me making the mistake of trusting Bill decades ago, none of this would be happening.”

He noticed the forest around them getting darker. The sun was going down. They were running out of time.

“We need to keep going in order to find Mabel.”

They continue on in a jog, the fastest speed that Ford was capable of at the moment. The paranoia and adrenaline fueled him, pushing him forward.

That was until he heard a piercing cry echo through the woods.

“Time’s almost up, Ford!” Bill’s cutthroat voice rang.

Thank God they were nearby. Before Ford had the chance to say anything else Dipper bolted in the direction of his sister’s scream.

“Dipper!”

Ford followed his grand-nephew.

When they finally catch up to Mabel, they find her trying to wriggle free from her captor – eyes flashing menacingly down at her. Ford felt a cold shiver run down his spine when he made eye contact with the man that Bill currently possessed.

Bill let go of Mabel with a poised shrug. “Took you long enough, Sixer. You’re lucky I’m in such a good mood today – with me being on the brink of taking over your dimension!” He sneered, taking immense satisfaction in the looks of shock on Ford’s and Pine Tree’s faces. “I can’t thank you enough for holding onto your resentment towards your brother and tearing your family apart!”

Before Mabel had the chance to get away, Bill took hold of her hair once more and forcefully yanked her like a rag doll down onto the ground. She squeaked in agony when he rammed his foot onto her back, anchoring her body against the earth.

“Now that we’re all comfortable – where’s the rift?”

“What?” Dipper asked.

The boy twin flinched at the sound of a metal click. Dipper watched Bill aim a loaded gun right at his sister’s head in horror. That surely got his full attention.

“Let me ask again. Now that I have your attention,” Bill growled, slightly pulling back on the trigger. “Where’s the rift?”

Dipper must’ve hesitated too long for Bill’s sanity. His patience grew thinner and thinner by every second and began to count down. He’d gotten this far, and he wasn’t going to throw away the golden opportunity at taking over this dimension.

“Five!”

“We can’t!”

“Four!”

“We don’t have it!”

“LIARS! THREE!”

“Bill! Leave her out of this!!” Ford bellowed.

“TWO!”

“We’re not lying!” Dipper cried out desperately, tears streaming down his face. “I swear we don’t have it! Don’t hurt my sister! Please, I’m begging you!”

“ONE – “

“I-I left it behind! I didn’t do it on purpose, but I-I must’ve left it where I was hiding nearby – “

Mabel went silent when she heard the abrupt gunshot and watched her life flash before her eyes. Without breaking eye contact with Ford, Bill gestured out in the direction he chased Mabel in earlier before pointing the gun back to her head.

“Find it.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moments later the two come rushing back, rift in tow and willing to hand over. They weren’t going to take any chances trying to reason with a maniacal demon that held Mabel at gunpoint. As much as Ford didn’t want Bill taking over their dimension, the lives of the kids were more important.

“Hand over the rift, Ford – or say goodbye to your niece.”

Ford didn’t hesitate. Even if the world came to an end, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he were the one to cause his grand-niece’s early demise. Despite becoming the bringer of the apocalypse, he’d do anything to keep the kids safe. Whether he had the kids go into hiding with Stan for the rest of their lives or figure out a way to fix the problems he inadvertently caused. He’d do whatever it takes.

The guilt will reside in him for the rest of his life over every mistake he made that led up to this moment.

“Under one condition.” Ford narrowed his eyes. “You let Mabel go and leave the kids alone.”

Bill’s grin returned. “Fine.”

Ford shamefully handed over the rift without a second thought. The demon’s grin widened in glee, reveling in the feel of victory as his fingers drummed over the cracked glass of the containment unit.

“Now let her go, Cipher.” He growled.

Mabel immediately bolted towards her family the moment Bill lifted his weight off of her, desperate to get away from danger. Ford watched her run in his direction and kneeled down to catch her in his arms.

His hold on her tightened when he heard Mabel start to sob into his chest. Out of all the mistakes he made, he deeply regretted keeping his secrets away from Mabel. He only wanted to keep her and Stan safe (even though he wouldn’t admit it to him personally), assuming they didn’t have any interest in his past or what he was caught up in. He was a fool. Stan may not have been aware of Bill Cipher but looking back he remembered; Mabel already had history with him just like Dipper.

Man, he was such an utter fool.

The sentimental moment was interrupted at the sound of something shattering and distorted laughter. Ford’s breath hitched in fear. This was it. The end of the world, and his family had a front row seat to witness it.

Ford flinched when he felt something tug at his coat, and saw Dipper gravitating over to him. All they could do was hopelessly watch Bill bring forth the apocalypse.

“At last! At long, long last! The gateway between worlds has opened! The event one billion years prophesized has finally come to pass! The day has come! The world is finally mine!” Bill laughed maniacally as the unconfined rift teared reality into the Nightmare Realm.

With a gesture of his hand Bill used his powers to forcefully rip Mabel out of her grunkle’s grasp. Ford watched her body glow pink and float away from him in horror.

“No!”

“Dipper! Grunkle Ford!”

With a snap of a finger Mabel went unconscious, continuing to be whisked away. In an instant her body was surrounded by some strange pink bubble etched with a shooting star symbol and chains, and with another snap of the demon’s fingers she was gone.

Trying to process what just happened and witnessing his sister’s disappearance right before his eyes, he could only cry out in despair and frustration.

“Mabel!”

[big-idiot-wolf-boys]

Nightfall: Twilight Reimagined -2-

-1-

Still feeling very much like canon here, and very much the day to day life of Bella Swan. Check out my fancast here if you want to know what I’m imagining these characters to look like as I’m writing them!

                                                          ****

    The next day wasn’t much worse than the first, I guess that had to count for something. The second day of school is easier than the first because you know what to expect. Like Mike sitting next to me in English and then escorting me to my next class. Eric glared at Mike the whole time. Thankfully, everyone outside of the group I had somehow been adopted into seemed to have forgotten about me already.

   The rain appeared to be gone for now, but the clouds were dark and dense-- it could always decide to make a comeback.

  We had a surprise test in Trig, and I didn’t even know the formulas we were supposed to be using. I made a mental note to hide my grades from Charlie, I couldn't manage to do much more than basic algebra. In Spanish, Jessica and I were paired together to translate recipes from Spanish to English. All morning, I worried about lunch. Not where to sit or what to eat; I was worried about having to endure those strange, hateful glares from Edward Cullen. If it were anyone else, I’d just ask what his damage was. Something about the Cullens struck me as strange, though. I remembered Edward’s coal-black eyes and shuddered.

    It turned out that I had nothing to worry about. When Jessica and I entered the cafeteria, Edward was nowhere in sight. A quick scan of the room proved the rest of the Cullen siblings were sitting at their usual table, but he was not with them.

   Mike spotted us and bounded up to lead us to the table. Jessica was thrilled, and the others from yesterday quickly joined us. Today, I picked up some of the names I hadn’t yesterday. Lauren, Tyler, and Ben rounded out this loose collective of friends. Lauren had long blonde hair, pale skin, and pretty green eyes. She hadn't spoken to me much, and I tried not to take it personally. Tyler was tall and athletic-looking, with dark skin, his hair and eyes were a matching brown. Ben was the shortest of the group, he had golden-brown skin and black hair that he wore with bangs swooped to one side, landing just above his glasses. I tried to focus on the conversations going on around me but my thoughts kept wandering back to Edward. I was dreading the moment he entered the room and turned his angry gaze on me.

   My anxiety only grew while I waited. My appetite never appeared, my muscles were tense, and my knee was shaking so much that the chair under me squeaked in protest. He never appeared, rendering all my anxious energy useless.

   After lunch came Biology. I approached the door with dread coiling in my stomach. Maybe he'd decided to get lunch somewhere else in town, which meant he would still be in class. I hesitated outside for as long as I dared, but the warning bell sounded. Classes were starting.

   Edward wasn’t in his seat when I entered, and the dread faded. Until about halfway through class when the realization hit me, it had merely transformed into a messy combination of guilt and irritation.

   How could I have pushed Edward away before I even had a chance to speak to him? How could he hate me so much he’d skip school to avoid me?

   I told myself repeatedly that  I couldn’t possibly be the problem. After all, Edward didn’t even know me. Still, the voice in the back of my mind that said it was all my fault just wouldn’t go away.

   The day took a turn towards terrible when we had soccer in gym. I tripped over my own feet several times, fell in the mud, scraped my palms, and even misaimed a kick so much that the ball hit one of my classmates in the face. After that, the teacher told me to stand in the corner of the field and watch. When school finally let out, I practically ran to my truck. I slammed the door in my hurry to get inside and cringed over it. Then I turned the key and put the heater on high, waiting for the warm air to come rushing out of the vents.

   I backed out of my space and into the line of people waiting to exit the parking lot. As I waited for my turn to leave, I saw the Cullens and the Hale twins getting into their car. A shiny Ford. Of course. Previously, I’d been too dazzled by the Cullens’ supernatural beauty to notice their clothing, but now it was obvious they came from money. I felt a brief stab of jealousy. It wasn’t enough that they were so pretty, they had to be well off, too?

   I yanked my gaze away from them but I could feel the group stare at me as I drove past them. Did they share the theory that I drove Edward away?

   This morning, Charlie had asked me to pick up a few things from the grocery store after school. It was only a few minutes away- but so was everything else. The bright lights and stocked shelves reminded me of doing the shopping back home. I fell into the familiar pattern with ease. It was practically second nature how I ghosted through the aisles, keeping track of Charlie's budget in my head.

   When I got back to the house, I shoved the groceries wherever they could fit and began to prep dinner. All it took was tossing some steaks in a marinade and throwing some potatoes in the oven. This was a meal that I knew Charlie would approve of, and the perfect way to introduce him to the idea of me doing the cooking.

   When I finished the prep, I took my backpack upstairs and threw on a pair of pjs, tying my hair up afterward. Glancing at my school bag again, I sighed. Most of the homework I’d been assigned today was covering things I’d already done back home-- and I wasn’t looking forward to repeating it.

    Instead, I put the effort into checking my email for the first time since my arrival. Charlie still had dial-up, and the laptop beeped and screeched at me as it connected. Renee had signed us both up for a service called NetMail through AOL so we could stay in touch through e-mail.

   Three unopened messages.

    Bella,

      Write to me as soon as you get time. I want to know everything about your flight! How is Charlie doing? Is it raining there? I’m sure it is.

      I miss you already. I’m almost finished packing for Florida, but I can’t find that pink floral shirt. Do you know where I put it?

      Phil says hi and good luck at school tomorrow. We love you!

      Mom

    That was sent about three hours into my five-hour flight to Seattle. I sighed and clicked the next one. It was sent eight hours after the first.

    Bella,

      Why haven’t you emailed me back? I’m waiting to hear from you.

      Mom

    The newest email was from this morning.

    Isabella Swan, if I haven’t heard from you by 5:30 pm, I will call Charlie.  

  My mom and I had always gotten along well, but Renee had leaned on me for a lot. I was sure that she was spiraling already. I glanced at the clock in the corner of the screen. There was still an hour until mom’s deadline, but I had a feeling she would get antsy and call early.

    Mom,

      Everything is   fine.    Don’t worry. I was just waiting for something to write about.

      Bella.

    Send.

   Now that the danger of my mother interrupting Charlie’s workday was out of the way, I began a second email.

    Mom,

      Your blouse is at the dry cleaners, you were supposed to pick it up after dropping me off at the airport.  

      Of course it’s raining. I have to slosh through puddles to get to every single class I have. Speaking of, school is fine. Repetitive.   I’ve already done most of what we’re covering. Easy graduation credits, I guess!

      Charlie bought me a truck! I couldn’t believe it. It’s this old, sturdy thing. Which is good. You know. For me. I love it.

      I miss you too. I can’t check my email every five minutes, though. Breathe. It’ll be okay. I’ll write again when I have something interesting to talk about, I promise. I love you.

      Bella

    The novel we were studying in English was Wuthering Heights, which happened to be one of my favorites. My copy of the book was a well-worn hardback, the edges of the cover softened with age. It was easy to sink into the familiar fictional world; by the time Lockwood was having his first nightmare, the sounds of the world around me had blurred and faded into the background.

   “Bella?” My dad’s voice rumbled downstairs.

  Oh, crap, I had forgotten all about dinner! After hastily shoving a bookmark into place, the book was tossed onto my pillow. I rushed downstairs, tripping over my own feet at the bottom step, but Charlie was there to catch me by the shoulders.

   “Where’s the fire?” He asked, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

  “I forgot about dinner,” I explained sheepishly, leading the way to the kitchen to pull the potatoes out of the oven. I put the steak in to broil before turning around to look at Charlie with an apologetic smile. “I wanted to have it ready for when you got home.”

   “Bells, you don’t have to do that.” He said with a small frown. He must think I had the same bizarre food tastes as Renee. Her experiments in the kitchen often ended up in the trash, completely inedible.

    “It’s just steak and potatoes.” I shrugged dismissively, fluttering one hand. To balance out my mom’s wacky dinners, I had learned how to fend for myself and make it taste pretty good, too.

   “That’s not what I meant,” Charlie said, hanging his jacket on the back of his chair at the table.

  “What did you mean?” He set the table while I pulled the food out of the oven. I caught him sniffing appreciatively at the air.

   “I  mean,  I should be the one cooking dinner, not the other way around.” There was an unspoken  duh. As if nothing in the world made more sense than for Charlie to cook dinner for us. My throat tightened a little and my eyes watered. I turned to get myself a glass of water so I could collect myself without him seeing how something so simple had affected me.

   “Oh.”

   Charlie sat at the table, and I sat across from him.

  “It smells good, though. Thanks, Bell.”  He smiled warmly at me and I noticed how his eyes were beginning to crinkle at the corners. He was beginning to show signs of age now; lines in his face, salt and pepper flecked his scruff.

   We ate in silence for a while, which was more than fine by me. Charlie and I were quiet people and though I had misjudged my role here, we were good housemates.

   “How was school?” He asked, interrupting my thoughts, “Make any friends yet?”

  “Well…” I tapped some pepper onto my potatoes to stall for time. “Everyone’s really nice. I sit with a group of people at lunch, but I don’t know if I’d say we’re friends yet.”

   “Sitting with people at lunch is a good way to start making friends,” Charlie encouraged me. Was it that obvious how worried I was about being the new kid? And the reaction I’d gotten from certain classmates…

   “Do you know the Cullen family?” I asked suddenly, curiosity overtaking me before I could stop it.

   “Dr. Cullen’s family? Sure.”

   “The kids don’t seem to fit in.” I decided not to worry Charlie with Edward’s reaction to me.

  “Dr. Cullen has been a huge help to the community, you know,” Charlie said, more strongly than before. “We’re lucky to have him. He could have his pick of jobs all over the place. His wife wanted a small-town life, though. Sure, I was worried when they moved here with all those kids, but I haven't had one ounce of trouble from them.” He was really gathering steam now. “But just because they’re new to town and a little different, people just have to gossip about them.”

   I rethought my approach.

  “I just meant that they sort of stick to themselves.” I tucked my hair behind my ear before continuing. “They all seem pretty smart.” Or just pretty.

   Charlie shrugged one shoulder. “Guess there’s not much you can do in a town like this. People decided they were outsiders, so why should they try to make friends? Maybe you’ll have something in common with one of them.”

   I didn’t answer him, too busy thinking about what he’d said. We finished eating in silence, and he cleared the table before I had a chance to. I stood next to the table, feeling a little useless.

   “You don’t have to take care of me, you know,” I said, nodding to the pile of dirty dishes that Charlie had just finished stacking next to the sink.

   “That’s my job, Bells.” He kissed my forehead before retiring to the living room to put on the game of the night. I blinked quickly to counter the sudden wetness that sprung up in the corners of my eyes.

   Determined to help out around the house somehow, I turned back to the dishes. Charlie might want to take care of me, but that didn’t mean I had to be a freeloader. I washed the dishes by hand, and set them in the rack to dry. With no other preoccupations, there was nothing left to do but trudge upstairs to work on my math homework

   When I finally tumbled into bed, exhausted, I slept dreamlessly.

  The rest of the week flew by in an uneventful blur. I learned where all my classes were and how to get to them the fastest. I was also able to place most of my classmate’s names to their faces- and they knew not to pick me in gym class. Jessica was still happily chatting my ear off at every opportunity, and when I needed a reprieve from that- Angela Weber was there to quietly discuss Wuthering Heights.

   Edward Cullen didn’t return to school.

  The whole week, I shared my first class of the day with Rosalie, but I could never gather the courage to speak to her and ask what her brother’s problem was, or if he was coming back. Every day, I watched their table to confirm that he wasn’t there, then I could relax. Recently, Mike had really been pushing the idea of a weekend beach trip, and Jess and Angela always made sure to mention that I was welcome to come. I agreed to go, mostly out of a want to get to know my new friends. Whatever they called a beach here would only fall short of my expectations. By Friday, I confidently walked into Biology with the knowledge that Edward wouldn’t be there with his strange, hateful stare.

  My first weekend in Forks was, predictably, boring. Charlie, who had been working weekends for the last fifteen years, spent most of his time at the Sheriff’s Office. I spent my time cleaning the house, reading ahead for English class, and emailing with my mom.

   On Saturday, I went to the Forks Public Library but I was disappointed by their selection, and didn’t even bother to get a card. I looked at the local stores to see what their small selections had, but no dice. It seemed I was going to have to make a trip out of town if I wanted any new reading material. Would my truck be okay on the freeway?

   Thankfully, the rain remained a soft pattering and didn’t hinder my sleep too much.

  On Monday morning, people smiled and waved at me in the parking lot. I waved back, even at the people whose names escaped me. It was cold this morning, but the rain had taken a hiatus.

   In English, Mike sat next to me, reliable as ever. We had a surprise quiz on Wuthering Heights, no doubt I would get an excellent grade on it. I was more confident and comfortable in Forks High School than I had expected even a week ago. More comfortable than I had  ever expected to be in Forks.

  When English ended, the class streamed outside… and into a flurry of white tufts in the air. I could hear teenagers yelling gleefully from every direction. My nose twinged in the cold.

   “Snow!” Mike grinned.

   I shoved my hands into my pockets, surveying the sidewalk for ice. “Ew.” I wrinkled my nose.

   “You don’t like snow?” Mike asked, his gleeful look dampening significantly.

  “I guess it’s better than rain.” I conceded. “But I thought it was supposed to be prettier than this. Distinct flakes or whatever.”

   Mike looked at me with all the disbelief he could muster. “You’ve never  seen snow?”

   “Well, yeah. On TV.” I said defensively.

  Mike laughed, but the sound was cut short by a ball of slush hitting him in the back of the head. I anxiously looked in the direction it had come from, ready to use my backpack as a shield. Eric had his back to us, walking in the wrong direction for his next class. Mike knelt down to scoop up his own ball of mush.

   “You know what, I’ll just see you at lunch,” I said hurriedly, beginning to make my way towards the school. “Once people start throwing things, I get out of range.” I shot him an apologetic smile, but his eyes were trained on Eric’s back.

  The only thing anyone wanted to talk about was the snow’s sudden arrival. I bit my tongue, to not ruin everyone else’s excitement. It seemed like I was the only one who wasn’t fond of the cold, wet weather.

  When it came time for lunch, I hurried to the cafeteria with Jess. Snowballs were flying left and right, though they didn’t really stick together well enough to be qualified as a ball. Jessica thought that I was being dramatic about the whole thing, but she was nice enough to not pull me into the brief snowball fight between herself, Mike, Eric, Ben.

   The fight only lasted from building 3 to building 1, where the cafeteria was. Mike opened the door for us. They argued about who had won as we waited in line to pay for our food. Nothing but habit brought my eyes to the table that the four Cullens occupied every day. Only today there were five of them. I froze where I stood. It would be better to be back out in the snow.

   Jess tapped on my shoulder. “Earth to Bella! Hello?”

  I looked down, feeling the heat from my cheeks up to the tips of my ears when I blushed. There was nothing to be embarrassed about, though, I firmly reminded myself.

   “Are you alright?” Mike asked, leaning over Jessica’s shoulder to look at me.

  “I’m fine,” I mumbled, tucking my hair back. I carelessly tossed an apple and milk crate onto my tray and followed my friends.

   “Are you sure you feel okay?” Ben pressed.

  “Actually, I feel kind of sick,” I admitted, sitting next to Jess and keeping my eyes down. Twice more during lunch, someone asked how I was feeling. For a fleeting moment, I considered playing it up so I could skip my next class. Biology with Edward. I almost shuddered at the thought but reminded myself that I’d done nothing wrong. Edward was the one with the problem. I steeled myself and looked at the Cullen’s table. If he still looked at me like I was some kind of loathsome monster, maybe I  would skip.

   At the end of the table, Mike laughed boisterously at something; this was my excuse to look in that direction, and then peer past him to the table where the otherworldly family was sitting. None of them looked at me. I sat up straighter. They were joking and laughing with each other. They appeared to have snow in their hair, though it was melting rapidly under the school’s heating system. Rosalie and Edward were leaning away as Jasper shook his head like a dog- causing icy water to fly at them. They were just enjoying the snow like everyone else, only they looked like movie stars.

   Besides how loud and happy they were compared to last week, there was something else that was amiss about the scene. I found myself staring at them individually as I tried to figure it out. I was the most familiar with Rosalie, since we shared a class, so I started with her. She looked the same as ever: stunningly beautiful. The others looked the same as always too, maybe the scene had seemed off because Edward had returned.

   I looked at him with the most attention. He was flushed, for one. Maybe from laughter, or the cold. It looked like he had finally gotten a good night’s sleep, the bags under his eyes were much less pronounced. There was still something, though…

   “Bella, what  are you staring at?” Jess asked me, pushier than usual. How long had I been spacing out?

   Her eyes followed my gaze.

  Edward looked our way as if we had called out to him, even though we were all the way across the room. I looked away quickly, but not quickly enough. Our eyes met for just a second. He wasn’t wearing that angry expression from last week, he looked curious again.

   What was this guy’s deal? Why couldn’t he make up his mind?

   “Edward Cullen is staring at you.” She said in a hushed voice.

  “Really?” I squeaked. “I don’t think he likes me.” I felt queasy, and offered to trade Eric my milk for his water bottle. He accepted and I took a large gulp of the refreshing liquid as soon as he passed it over.

   “It’s okay, Bella.” She said comfortingly. “The Cullen’s don’t usually like anyone. But he’s still looking at you.”

   “Stop looking!” I hissed.

   She giggled, but looked away. I took a smaller sip of water, focusing with all my might on not looking at the Cullens.

  Mike spoke up then, and I had never been more thankful for his interruption. He was planning a snowball fight after school, and announced it loud enough for everyone to hear. Jessica agreed enthusiastically, but I was starting to think she would agree to do anything as long as Mike was involved. I decidedly didn’t speak up, and began to plot where to hide until the fight was over and I could safely make it to my truck.

   When the bell rang, I made my way to the door quickly-- hoping to avoid walking to class with Mike, who seemed to be a large target for snowballs. But he and my other friends caught up to me in two long strides. When we got to the door, everyone groaned. The snow had pretty much stopped coming down, and what little snow had stuck to the ground was muddy and gross. I hid my pleased smile and tested the iciness of the sidewalk. As good a grip as any other day. Well, on a good day for me. Mike complained about the snow’s disappearance until we got to the door of the biology classroom.

  I was relieved to see my table was empty and rushed to it as if getting there first allowed me some kind of claim on the space. Of course, this wasn’t the case, but it made me feel better nonetheless.  I had been here all last week, after all.

  Mrs. Ramone began to hand out microscopes and slides, and my classmates chattered quietly among themselves. I doodled on the cover of my notebook, sketching out the sparrow I could see from the window next to my table.

   The chair next to me was pulled out with an unsettling screech, but I very carefully kept my eyes averted from my tablemate.

   “Hello,” Said a quiet, musical voice.

  This was the first time one of the Cullens had spoken directly to me, and something about the windchime quality of Edward's voice sent a shock through me. I sat rigidly and whipped my head around to face him.

  He was sitting at the furthest end of the desk, like last week, but his chair was turned so that he was facing me. It almost seemed casual but something was jarring about the whole thing. He seemed unnatural somehow, like he didn’t belong here. His expression was friendlier than I expected, a polite smile gracing his features, but his eyes were guarded.

   “I’m sure you’ve already gathered by now, but I’m Edward Cullen,” He continued, “And you’re Bella Swan, right?”

   My mind swam. Had I completely imagined Edward’s hostility? He was friendly now, if a little strange.

   “Why did you call me Bella?” I blurted.

   “Oh, is Bella for friends only? I just-” Edward faltered.

  “No, I prefer Bella. Everyone called me Isabella when I first got here… I guess Charlie- I mean, my dad- must call me that when I’m not around.” I explained, feeling even more out of my element than usual. I felt tongue-tied in front of this strange guy.

   Thankfully, Ms. Romane clapped her hands together to gather our attention. I was incredibly grateful for being saved from any more embarrassing small talk. Today, we were going to be identifying and sorting cells into the phases of mitosis without looking at our books. The teacher would be making rounds at the end of class to see who got it right.

   “Let’s get going everyone!” She clapped her hands together again.

  “Shall we?” Edward asked, smiling crookedly as he pushed the microscope towards me. I was once again struck by his dazzling beauty-- until his smile began to fade. “Or I can start,” He added. Shoot, I must have waited too long to answer him.

   “I can do it.” I shook my head a little to clear it from the fuzz that had momentarily clouded my mind. I hoped I wasn’t blushing.

   Okay, maybe I wanted to show off a little. My previous school had been more advanced than Forks High, and I had already done this before. It was easy. I slid the little glass slide into place and adjusted the microscope until it was properly focused. It only took me a few seconds for me to assess the slide.

   “Prophase.”

  I started to remove the slide, but Edward reached out to stop me. “Mind if I look?” His hand was freezing, as if he had just come in from playing with the snow. I couldn’t help but gasp and pull my hand away. Besides being cold, it was as though he had shocked me. I tried to chalk it up to static electricity he took the microscope.

   Curiously, I watched him examine the slide. He had barely looked at the thing before writing  prophase gracefully on our worksheet. He switched out the slides and glanced at the second one just as quickly as the first.

   “Anaphase,” He said, writing it down as he spoke.

   “Mind if I check?” I asked, sounding more courageous than I felt.

  Edward pushed the microscope my way, this time avoiding any contact between us. I tried to look as quickly as possible. I was disappointed, he was right.

   “The next one?” I asked, my competitive nature peeking out. He handed it to me, still careful to not let our skin touch.

   “Interphase,” I announced. He took the microscope from me with an amused smile.

  Despite our competition, we were the first team finished. Mike and his partner, a girl named Ali, were comparing two slides repeatedly. Another group seemed to have broken a slide and were trying to tape it back together. I tried to hide my own amused smile at that. Unfortunately, finishing first meant that we had nothing to do but wait for the end of class. I tried not to look at him, but that didn’t last long.

    When I glanced up, Edward was looking at me with intensity. Frustrated again, like he was trying to remember something. Suddenly, it clicked in my brain. Why his family looked so different.

   “Are you wearing contacts?” I asked. Oops. I hope that wasn’t being rude.

   Edward blinked in surprise. “No,” The way he said it, with a lilt towards the end, made it sound like a question.

   “Oh.” I mumbled. “I just thought there was something different about your eyes.”

   He shrugged. “They are kind of a weird color, right? I think it’s genetic.”

  I was sure that it was something other than a mutated brown color, though. I could distinctly remember the black color of his eyes the first time I had seen him. The stark contrast between his hateful stare and the pallor of his face. Only today, his eyes weren’t black. They were a dark butterscotch color, the golden tone that shone in them complimented his bronze hair. I couldn’t make sense of how that could be. Unless he was lying about the contacts. Maybe I had just imagined the darkness of his eyes in my anxiety.

   I glanced down. Edward’s hands were clenched into fists. Only for a moment. Then they smoothed out and he smiled at me. I almost forgot to be suspicious of him.

   Ms. Ramone came to check our work. She squinted at the paper then frowned at Edward. “You didn’t share with your partner, Edward?” She asked, looking at the worksheet holding only Edward’s elegant handwriting on it.

   “Bella actually identified three out of five of the slides, Ms. Ramone,” Edward said with a charming smile.

   She turned to me then. “Well done, Bella. Have you taken this class before?”

   “Not with onion root,” I admitted with a sheepish smile.

   “Whitefish?”

   “Yeah.”

   She nodded. “Were you an advanced placement student in your last school?”

   “Only in science and English.” I couldn’t help being a little proud.

  “I suppose it’s good that you and Edward are partnered, then.” She said with a small chuckle, moving on to check Mike and Ali’s work. I began to doodle on my notebook again, filling in little details to my drawing from before.

   “Too bad about the snow, huh?” Edward asked, his musical voice jarring me out of my thoughts. I hated small talk, and I had the feeling he was only forcing himself to be polite to me, anyway.

   “Not really.” I mumbled, past bothering to hide my irritation with the weather.

   “You don’t like the cold?”

   “Or the wet.”

   “It doesn’t sound like Forks is your kind of place, then.” He said, thoughtfully.

   “You have no idea,” I grumbled, glancing at the window and privately shooing the clouds away.

   He looked like I had said something incredibly profound. I impossibly tried not to be distracted by his expression.

  “So why’d you move here?” His voice was pure curiosity. He didn’t want to know because I was the shiny new toy, gossip for his friends. He seemed genuinely interested and no one had bothered to ask me that yet, especially so pointedly. It took me by surprise.

   “Um.”

   “You don’t have to tell me.” It looked like he couldn’t bear not knowing.

   I hesitated, but met his eyes. His golden gaze captivated me, and I blurted out an answer without even thinking about it.

   “My mom got married.”

   “Oh, and you didn’t like the guy?”

   “No, Phil’s great. Really.”

  “So why didn’t you stay with them?” Edward’s voice was still burning with curiosity, but there was an underlying kindness to it.

    It didn’t make any sense why he was so interested. He was staring at me like I was holding the answers to the universe. If he was always this intense, it was going to give me whiplash the next time he decided that he was going to be hostile.

   “Phil’s a minor league baseball player, so he travels a lot.” I smiled, remembering piling into his van with my mom to travel with them. It had been fun, for a while.

   “Is he famous?” Edward asked in a light tone.

   “I don’t think you’ll have heard of him.”

  “So your mother sent you here so that she could travel with her new husband?” Edward tried to untangle the threads of my story.

   I shook my head, almost insulted. “No,” I said indignantly, “I sent myself.”

   His brows furrowed. “I don’t get it.”

   I sighed. Why was I explaining this to him anyway?  Why did he care?

  “Well. She stayed home with me for a while, but she missed him. It made her unhappy, that didn’t work. So the three of us traveled together for a while. That was fun, but it wasn’t…” I struggled to find the right word, “Stable. So I decided that it was time that I came to be with my dad.” I tried not to sound glum about being stuck in Forks because the truth was that I really  was glad to spend time with Charlie. I just wished we got to spend time together somewhere else.

   “But you’re not happy.” He said simply.

   “So?” I raised an eyebrow.

   “It’s not fair,” He shrugged, but their eyes hadn’t lost their intensity. “It sucks.”

   “Why’s it matter to you anyway?” I demanded, resisting the urge to childishly stick my tongue out at him.

  “Good question.” He muttered, mostly to himself. That seemed like the only answer I was going to get. This was confirmed by Ms. Ramone interrupting us by calling for the class’s attention. I couldn’t understand how this bizarre, beautiful boy had gotten me to reveal more about my life to him than any of my new friends had. And there was still the mystery of whether or not he hated me. He had seemed friendly enough during our conversation, but I could see him leaning away from me now, hands curled into fists again.

   I tried to at least look like I was paying attention to Ms. Ramone’s debriefing.

   When the bell  finally rang, Edward swiftly took his leave. He moved gracefully, like a large cat on the prowl. I stared after him in amazement and Mike took this as an opportunity to hop to my side.

   “That sucked!” He groaned. “I couldn’t tell any of ‘em apart. You’re lucky you had Cullen to do it for you.”

  “I identified half of ours,” I snapped at Mike, stung by his comment and frustrated by Edward. Immediately, I regretted taking out my strange mood on him. It didn’t seem to dull Mike’s mood much.

   “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” He said, holding his hands up in surrender.

  He changed the subject to the beach trip, lamenting that the snow from earlier indicated that it was still too cold to go. His chattering just couldn’t hold my attention as we walked to gym.  He was on my team today, and graciously let me sit out. I still managed to catch my toe on the lip of the doorway and almost tripped on my way out after class.

    A mist was gathering in the parking lot as I made my way to my truck. I idly thought about giving it a name, if it had enough personality to warrant giving it one. Time would tell on that. As per my new routine, I hopped into the cab and turned the heater on high. My cold hands warmed in front of the vents before fluffing up my damp hair so it would dry out on the short drive home.

   Before backing up, I looked around to make sure no one was behind me. I noticed a still, pale figure in my mirror and realized it was Edward Cullen. He was leaning against his Ford, staring right at me. My heart jolted in my chest, causing my foot to jump off the clutch too fast-- the engine stalled. I groaned and rolled my eyes. Turning the engine over again and cautiously pulling out, I stared ahead as I drove. As I passed, I could swear Edward was laughing at me.

[grimelords]

Hello and god bless, I have finally finished my November playlist a week and a half into december. Disco, Guns N’ Roses, an entire doom metal album and everything in between. Please enjoy.

​Extraball - Yuksek: Aside from the extremely nice electro bass I think what I appreciate most about this song is that the chorus seems like the sort of thing you could sing in a round, or as some kind of children’s clapping game.

Mirror Reaper - Bell Witch: Let me be the first to apologise for putting an 80 minute doom metal album as the second song on this playlist. I’m sorry. It was selfish and it won’t happen again. That said, please listen to this because it is transformative. I’ve listened this a lot this month and it’s really affected my mood I think. Doom metal is one of the only genres that takes itself seriously enough to release an album that’s just one 80 minute track but I really can’t fault them for doing it. This is a piece of music that demands to be listened to in full, and while it does naturally divide into movements like anything else this long would, it would be weaker overall if it were split into individual tracks or listened to individually. A lot of the playing on here, which is very sparse in long sections feels like ritual music of some kind - a feeling that’s compounded by the length when you’re absolutely lost within it. It makes electric bass and drums feel like modern ritual instruments and this album feels like an invocation of the spirit of loss itself.

Sixteen Tons - Merle Travis: For some reason I keep thinking about and listening to different versions of Sixteen Tons. This is Merle Travis, the orginal songwriter, but this is a new recording he did in 1989. Notably I love the very plaintive solo in the middle of this, but I especially love that he changed the lyric at the end to say “I owe my soul to Tennessee Ernie Ford” which feels like an agressive rebuke or a solemn nod but I can’t tell which.

Looking Up - Michael Smith: My girlfriend sent me this song because she heard it on the podcast Good Christian Fun which as I understand it is an exploration of the bizzare world of american evangelical christian media. Anyway this song rocks. It sounds like Todd Terje remixed the theme to some lost 80s sitcom and I really can’t get enough of it.

Wild - Beach House: This is such a beautiful song. I love the tinny drum machine and the live drums that sound programmed constrasting against the huge wall of guitar and synths. I used to listen to this album a lot a few years ago when I worked night shift and it reminds me of standing on top of wine tanks in the cool night air at 2am texting my now girlfriend as she went to bed. Sorry.

Piano Concerto No. 3 In D Minor, Op.30: 1. Allegro ma non tanto - Sergei Rachmaninoff: I had a friend in school who did his licentiate degree in piano in year 12 and was obsessed with this piece. One day he took me through the whole first movement and showed me how the theme is established and comes back in different forms over and over again throughout and basically taught me how to listen to classical music which was very kind of him because it’s something I’m only really appreciating now.

Verklärte Nacht, Op.4: String Sextett for 2 Violins, 2 Violas and 2 Cellos - Arnold Schoenberg: This is an early Schoenberg piece before he got into that good good atonal serialism, but it does still have moments that presage what was to come. I don’t really have much to say about this other than it’s a very good place to start with Schoenberg because it’s like proof that he was a human man at one point.

Day-O (The Banana Boat Song) - Harry Belafonte: I’ve really been thinking about how work songs like this and like Sixteen Tons become international hits. This one especially, in the 50s, was it because it was a really good song (which it is) that a lot of people related to or was it a sort of exoticism about funny banana song (which to be fair, it also is).

Boogie Wonderland (12" Version) - Earth, Wind And Fire: This is the song you hear playing from the other side of the door when you get to heaven.

Apollo’s Mood - The Olympians: This album is basically a collection of Daptone All-Stars under the name The Olympians just doing their thing and it’s really amazing. I especially love the harpsichord in this, an instrument that doesn’t get nearly enough of a workout in soul music. Also, I don’t really know how to describe it but I really love the way the snare roll that starts it off and comes back a few times sounds - buzzy and busy without rushing anyone.

Saturn - The Olympians: This is the song you use for your montage at the end of a James Bond movie that’s just four minutes of him relaxing and drinking different cocktails by himself that the critics called ‘wholly unneccesary’. In the drums and bongo break he does a little dance and falls over.

November Rain - Guns N’ Roses: As far as overblown classic rock epics go, I really wish November Rain had the cultural place of bad song Bohemian Rhapsody or Stairway To Heaven because underneath the 9 minutes of stings and bullshit it’s actually a very beautiful and sad song written by an idiot.

Sisters Of The Moon - Fleetwood Mac: With the current wytchy cult that Stevie Nicks has around her it’s easy to forget that she wrote songs like Sisters Of The Moon, a song explicitly about a witch converting other women to witchery. I love the big extended phrase of guitar chords in the chorus and I’m very mad about how this song fades out just as it’s absolutely going off.

When The Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin: Rounding out this unexpected classic rock trio is When The Levee Breaks which I was thinking about because I was thinking about The Big Short. This song sounds so good and there’s been so much written about the famous drum sound and the production but what I only learned this month is that it was apparently recorded at a faster tempo and then slowed down afterwards, which explains a lot about a lot of the sounds in here.

Bad Liar - Selena Gomez: This is maybe the pop song of the year honestly. It’s so good in every single aspect, especially the when she says’ oh baby lets make reality, actuality, reality’ which is a very weird lyric. So is 'you’re taking up a fraction of my mind, every time I watch you serpentine(?)’. Great stuff all around.

Hello Miss Lonesome - Marlon Williams: I saw Marlon Williams a year or so ago and it was one of the best gigs I’ve been to because things just kept going wrong. Broken strings and misunderstandings and all that sort of thing, and the highlight for me was in this song the drummer got overconfident and started pushing the tempo near the end and eventually tripped over himself so badly they had to stop and start again.

The Voice Of Q - Q: Here’s how you can tell a song is good: you can only find it on Spotify on a compilation album called 'Cocaine Boogie: 24 Kilos Of Underground 80s Dance’. This song seems like a classic case of 'somebody bought a vocoder’ and it’s very very good, another fantastic entry in the canon of interplanetary disco. I also love the children sadly pleading with Q to come back at the end, because the song hasn’t really given you any understanding of who or what Q is other than a being with a voice who is from space.

Take A Trip - Rev. Utah Smith: If I were, hypothetically, to start, for example, a UFO cult, I would definitely have my congregation sing this song. I love it so much. Outside of the fun premise it does what good gospel music should do and completely uplifts my spirit by promising a better life after this one, and if I get to go there by rocket ship, well that’s all the better.

Normal Person - Arcade Fire: I love the little 'do you like rock and roll music? 'cause I don’t know if I do.’ he sings at the start because it sounds like they’re into their 13th hour of recording or something. I love the lead guitar that sounds like it’s severely undernourished but trying its best and I love how strangely heavy the bass and rhythm guitar is compared to a lot of their other songs. A good song to sing along to while you’re driving.

Top Of The World - Kimbra: I don’t know exactly how or why but Kimbra made a Kanye song. Playing the dual roles of Kanye and Featured Artist she does a great job and once again defies whatever I thought she was going to do next. I can’t wait for the album, I hope it has even more Raps.

Eric’s Trip - Sonic Youth: I’ve never gotten much into Sonic Youth because they seemed way too New York Cool for me, so imagine my heartbreak when I found out the lyrics to my favourite song of theirs are wholesale lifted from an Andy Warhol film. I still have a lot of love for 'my head’s on straight, my girlfriend’s beautiful, it looks pretty good to me’ though.

I Hope I Sleep Tonight - DJ Seinfeld: God I’d be embarrassed if I blew up on soundcloud with the name 'DJ Seinfeld’ and then had to keep it when I put my album out. This album varies pretty wildly in quality but I really love this track, the synth melody that just careens around wildly while the rest of the song happens nearby is what does it for me I think.

Problem With The Sun - Nicolas Jaar: “In an interview with Self-Titled Magazine, Jaar said “I was watching a documentary about bugs. It said that if they looked at the sun, they’d die. I thought ‘Oh, that’s funny; that’s cute’ and I wrote a track about it (…). If you find something really special in a tiny story about bugs, it could have a much bigger meaning than that. I like the idea of turning life into this miniature thing”.” He’s used this particular voice modulation on a couple of song and it really cracks me up because it so thick and textured and just plain silly but somehow it suits the song perfectly.

Long Strong Diamond - Baggsmen: This is a song I remember seeing on Rage late at night years and years ago. The guy was dressed up as a werewolf and kidnapping some girl but he gets so distracted by his song about being a werewolf that she ends up escaping. Extremely mad to find out that the guy in this song from years ago that I love is none other than personal enemy of mine Jake Stone from Bluejuice.

XO/The Host/Initiation - The Weeknd: Trilogy could well be the best album of the decade. Remember when The Weeknd was this mysterious anonymous guy who was firmly a character and not an actual guy who seems to actually believe what he’s singing? I love Trilogy because the progression across the three discs from like 'cool indifferent party guy’ in House Of Balloons to extremely deranged cult leader in Echoes Of Silence is very satisfying. Initiation especially is great because it’s like a cool fun song about a party mixed with some extremely dark shit about the clocks not working so you can’t tell the time and the blinds not working so you can’t see outside in a scary pitch shifting voice. “And all I wanna do is leave 'cause I’ve been zoning for a week and I ain’t left this little room, trying to concentrate to breathe” but you absolutely MUST meet my boys.

This Guy’s In Love With You - Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass: Anyway here’s a change of pace. A very peaceful song about just fucking dying if she won’t be your girl. I love how dramatic this song gets before completely stopping and starting again into a very relaxed trumpet line.

Jasmine (demo) - Jai Paul: I’m obsessed with the cult that develops around guys like Jai Paul and Jay Electronica, who put out two songs that are so good that it drives people insane when they don’t put out any more. There’s apparently a bunch of stuff happening with Jai Paul currently that I haven’t been keeping track of but The Fader had a really good article earlier this year about how the Jai Paul leaks and how insane it made everyone. Aside from all that, the song is pure magic - just listen to it and you can understand why everyone was obsessed as they were.

Freaking Out The Neighbourhood - Mac Demarco: I remember I saw an interview with Mac Demarco talking about this song and he described the riff as just some dumb little thing he made up which is shocking to me because I am totally obsessed with how good it sounds. It’s perfect!

Bob - “Weird Al” Yankovic: Yes baby it’s Weird Al’s all-palindrome Bob Dylan parody! I was telling my girfriend about how this is actually really good songwriting because even though it’s essentially gibberish it has enough good imagery and fun sounds that it works anyway and really how different is 'may a moody baby doom a yam’ to 'transient jet lagged ecto-mimed bison’ from the Mars Volta which also appears on this list? Anyway she hated it, and rightly so.

I Have Good News To Bring - Sister Rosetta Tharpe: Live from the basement church of my UFO cult, a beautiful version of Take A Trip that sounds like it was recorded on the organ of an empty baseball stadium at night.

Julia - Jungle: I have been desperately waiting for three years now for another Jungle album and they finally posted about new songs the other day and I got very very excited. This is an amazing song, every sound in it is so perfectly placed and the vocals are very beautiful and have such a rich bass for such a high tenor. I love the way the drums subtly get very busy in the last few choruses, I could listen to this song for hours.

Ray Gun (feat. DOOM) -BadBadNotGood & Ghostface Killah: I love that this song is maybe 20bmp faster than Ghostface or Doom are expecting. Doom especially sounds far more excited than he has in years and they both do really well with it. Also, I was certain the melody it breaks into in the last third was some Lalo Schifrin bit I’ve heard before but I can’t seem to find any info corroborating that. If it’s familiar to you or you know where it’s from, please reply to this post because it’s been driving me crazy.

Confessions Pt. III - BadBadNotGood & Colin Stetson: Any song where Colin Stetson has to play with others is funny to me. He’s such a self contained ball of power that him joining a traditional group like it just wouldn’t work. Sure, this song does sort of sound like him doing his own thing for seven minutes while the band sort of reacts to him but it is absolutely fantastic anyway.

Everyone Nose (All The Girls Standing In The Line For The Bathroom) - N.E.R.D: Remember when Pharrell was crazy? This song is total chaos. The pitched down sample in the hook, the two note bassline, the sax that just hoots once a bar. And I absolutely love the contrast of the beautiful bridge, especially the 'achooo’ backing vocals.

Parties - Shlohmo: Bad Vibes was such a moment. It is such a beautiful album, and a very easy album to fall asleep to and then wake up 20 minutes later terrified and choked by your headphones because Trapped In A Burning House, the song that sounds exactly like its title and nothing like the rest of the album, came on. I have such a strong emotional reaction I really can’t explain to the cutoff samples of people laughing near the end of this song.

Bering/Human Till Born -Talkdemonic: I have no idea how I came across this album but I’ve been listening to it constantly for ten years now and I still find new things to appreciate in it. The drums especially in Human Till Born are a source of obsession for me.

Don Caballero 3 - Don Caballero: For a long time I never 'got’ Don Caballero or Hella or any of these supposedly legendary math bands, despite loving so many bands obvously influenced by them. But then one day this album, and this song especially just clicked for me. It also happened to coincide with one of the most surreal weeks of my life when I was on a cruise ship and all I listened to was this and a field recording album that seems to have completely deleted itself from my computer since then. The best advice I’ve heard for listening to this is, and bands like it is that it’s backward. The drums are the lead instrument and everything else works around that, if that helps. This song has a twisted sort of morose quality that’s really hard to pin down. Some days it is absolutely heartbreaking, which sounds silly but it’s true.

B.Y.O.B. - System Of A Down: There’s a few reasons I was thinking of this song. First and most importantly it’s because of that dog vine but the other reason is I was thinking about how there hasn’t been a good anti-trump song yet outside of YG’s FDT, and that came out before the election. This and American Idiot came out in 2004/5, and I suppose it’s only been a year since the election so we’ve got a few years yet until the real hits come out I guess. Or I suppose he’d have to actually properly declare war, which, you know.

4D/MTI - Koreless: These songs are so intertwined in my head I feel like you can’t have one without this other. 4D is such a simple, beautiful piece of music. The synth that sounds like glass and the chopped vocals getting more and more contorted as the song goes on contrasted with the propulsion of the drums is so great. Both of these songs have a meticulousness and restraint to their sound, every single piece is perfectly where it should be and nothing else is allowed. Even MTI using so much white noise feels incredibly controlled and when it totally drops out it feels like coming up from underwater.

New Lands - Justice: Remember when Justice took 4 years to write a follow up to their album that lit the world on fire and instead of doing the same thing again they made a classic rock album? Everyone was so mad. Luckily this song is incredible and everyone was wrong once more.

You Discovered The Secret And Juiced It For All Its Majesty - Venetian Snares: This is from an EP called Cubist Reggae which I think a lot about in concept alone. This is probably the song that illustrates the idea worst but I love it a lot. My incredibly unpopular opinion is that Venetian Snares is miles better of Aphex Twin and whoever but everyone’s written him off as the Rossz Csillag guy so he doesn’t get no respect. I love how detailed his music is, how every one of the million sounds seems to be perfectly placed. I think he’s in a similar position to Autechre where he’s been making and listening to only his own music for so long now that he’s forgotten how normal music sounds, which is good.

Blues Run The Game - Jackson C. Frank: I made a playlist a couple of years ago of all the songs I sing to myself when I’m just walking around or whatever and it turned out about 6/10 had 'blues’ or 'hard times’ in the title, which is tough but it’s ok, and this was one of them. If you want to read a wiki article that’ll make you cry, read Jackson C. Frank’s, but mostly you should just listen to this, his only album.

Thermal Treasure - Polvo: I played this song for my girlfriend and during the intro she said 'you have such a wide variety of tense, off kilter music seeminly designed just to put people on edge’. I’m a huge fan of this very defensive sentence in Polvo’s wiki article 'Their sound was so unpredictable and angular that the band’s guitarists were often accused of failing to play with correctly tuned guitars’.

FML - Kanye West: This is such a strangely affecting song and it’s hard to be sympathetic to Kanye as a narrator sometimes (especially when he insists on doubling down on dogshit lines like “'I'mma have the last laugh indian cause I’m from the tribe called chekaho’”) but against all odds you can identify and relate to his struggle to hold onto the woman he loves and not be undone by his own worst instincts. Musically this is the best The Weeknd has ever sounded and I already love him a lot, and the way the drums lead into the sample at the end is just perfect.

Roulette Dares (The Haunt Of) - The Mars Volta: This is the album I’ve probably listened to the most in my life. As a teenager I would listen to this album every night for easily a year and somehow there’s still something new to hear in it. It’s almost hard to listen to it now because I have so much Teenage Feeling attached to it but it’s still an incredible piece of work. Jon Theodore deserves a statue for his drumming on this album, and this song especially, in my humble opinion.

Life’s A Beach! - Studio: God I love Studio. I think if you tried to describe them on paper you could never make it sound like good music. “It’s sort of, balearic , reggae, guitar-led dance music and the songs go for about 15 minutes most of the time.” But it is good music! I absolutely promise it’s incredible music!

The Number Song (Cut Chemist Remix) - DJ Shadow: I love this remix because it feels like theseus’ ship as demonstrated via remix. How many parts can you swap out for similar but not identical parts before it’s a completely different song. The drums are almost the same beat, but a totally different sample.The Jackson 5 horns in the original that signal the transition to the second half are still here with the same function, but it’s an entirely different horn sample, and an entirely different second half save for 'the party’s already started, and it’s about to end’. 

listen here

[a-mad-scientist-approaches]

Multiverse is a Curse Word (1)

Aaaargh! Just take it, I can’t stand to keep it any longer!

This is a Gravity Falls fic that is sort of a crossover between the Adrift AU, created by @the-subpar-ghost (although not based off the Drifting Stars fic they wrote for it), and the Dimension Jumper AU, created by @hntrgurl13, starring her OC Adeline Marks of whom I am in love with. I guess that kind of makes it a Drifting Dimensions AU, also a creation of hntrgurl13, however it does not follow the plot of that either. All in all I really have no idea how to describe this. Whatever, it’s some Portal!Ford, Portal!Mabel, and Portal!Addi adventures, with a lot of angst, fluff, and family bonding included.

The Addiford ship, which will of course eventually make an appearance, is credited to @scipunk63, and it ruins me. 

Just be aware, I have not read Journal 3, so blame any incongruities with canon on that. Even if they do not relate to Journal 3. 

@deadpool-demon-diva and @thejesterlyfictionista you said you wouldn’t judge me for writing this and I hold you to it. Love you guys.

AO3  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11

Chapter 1: The Trash Monster

The sky was green in this dimension. It glowed at night, turning the buildings of the city black. Ford speculated that it was probably due to radiation rather than a natural luminescence. He decided they would move on to a safer place tomorrow; there would surely be a portal appearing nearby soon.

A slap on his hands brought him out of his thoughts.

“Grunkle Ford! Attennnnntion! I don’t see those hands moving mister!” Mabel drilled.

Grinning, he replied, “Sorry sir, I was planning out tomorrow’s route so we can avoid sleeping in an alley again,”

They had indeed set up for the night in a back alley among several dumpsters. Mabel inclined her head as she looked around from their position on the ground.

“Well, it’s not too bad, I suppose. I mean, look! Weird, gooey substances!”

Ford eyed the viscous liquid near them with barely concealed disgust.

“Alright, no lying on the floor,”

“Are you gonna be my pillow tonight?”

“Definitely.” He leaned back against the brick wall of a nearby building and opened his arms for his niece to clamber into. While he was arranging the blankets around them, Mabel jerked up once more.

“Wait! I didn’t finish teaching you tick-tack-toe,”

Smiling, Ford eventually appeased Mabel and convinced her to sleep with the promise that they would resume the lesson in the morning.

“Okay then.” She snuggled back into the makeshift nest and nudged him slightly, indicating she wanted more warmth. Happy to comply, he wrapped his arms around her. Ford felt guilty allowing even the merest trace of the thought to cross his mind, but at times like this he was indescribably grateful that Mabel had fallen into his life. He could not imagine it without her now.

“’Night,” Mabel murmured.

“Goodnight,” Ford responded softly.

“Don’t let the trash monsters bite,” his niece continued. The quiet laugh that answered this sent her off to sleep.

⃝

“Dammit,” Adeline said, banging the transmitter against her thigh. The blue pulse that was supposed to be emitting from the screen resolutely fizzled yet again.

Crap signal, flitted through her mind. She was too tired for this.

Sighing, Addi crossed the street, alternating between keeping an eye on the transmitter and the few citizens still shambling around at this late hour. The device crackled slightly, its light strengthening as she moved. She stepped into an alley and the signal picked up considerably.

“Yes!” A little further along and she could read the message clearly.

Let’s see what they have to say …

Movement. Behind her, something was moving. She was certain of it. Trying to act casually, as though she was absorbed in reading, she reached over her shoulder under the pretence of scratching her neck and tapped a button on the hilt of her wicked sharp sword. At the same time her eyes flicked up to the dumpster she was facing. Its metallic surface dimly revealed a figure standing up slowly behind her. They were drawing their gun.

Okay then.

In one smooth movement Addi drew her sword, whipped around – and stopped dead in shock as the past glared back at her.

“Stanford?”

His hair was grey now, but that was no surprise. It had been thirty years after all. As he moved around so that his back was no longer to the wall, she could tell he knew exactly how to use the weapon he kept trained on her. He had traded in a scientist’s suit for a more practical fighter’s trousers and boots, which was also not entirely unexpected – you had to adapt to life on the other side of the portal. He was clutching a child tightly to his side. Now that was very different.

“Who sent you?” Adeline’s old boss demanded.

“I – no one. What are you doing here?” The reply was unpredictable enough to cause him to falter.

“What do you mean ‘what am I doing here?’” he recovered. “This alley isn’t private property! How do you know who I am?”

A flash of annoyance shot through Addi.

“I’m sorry? The person you built the first ever interdimensional portal on Earth with has escaped your memory?”

The girl next to Stanford gasped. “Mr McGucket? How did you find us? Wait a minute, you look a little different.” She frowned critically at the athletic blonde woman.

Now completely nonplussed, Addi stared again at Stanford. He looked no less hostile, but there was some confusion on his face now, too. How could he not know her? There was no way in the multiverse that she would ever forget –

The answer hit her like lightning.

“Multiverse.” She cursed. “You’re not from my dimension, are you?” Their blank looks were enough of an answer.

Bitter disappointment coursed through her. It was stupid to think that. Stupid to think she would ever catch a break, that something would go right for once. Stupid to hope there might be a way home.

Angrily swallowing a lump in her throat, she stowed away Big Bertha. She wanted nothing more than to just talk to this version of her old friend a little while longer. However, Stanford was not about to let down his guard and decide to trust a complete stranger on nothing but their word that they were friends in another dimension. Especially not if he had a kid to look out for.

She stared at him a moment longer before turning away. Every step crushed her.

⃝

Mabel felt Ford relax his grip on her only after the woman had walked away, leaving behind a tight apology.

“She had a cool sword,” she remarked.

Ford nodded his agreement. “It was very unique,”

“Who d’ya think she was? She seemed kinda sad,”

“I have no idea. However, I think we can rule out Fiddleford McGucket,”

“Yep. No southern charm at all.” Mabel shook her head.

Ford made an amused sound. “Let’s get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow,”

“I bet I can bring in more money than you,”

⃝

“How are you doing that?” Ford exclaimed in amazement.

The brightness of the crowded market square was such a contrast to the gloom and quiet of the night before that Mabel might have believed they’d fallen onto another planet – that is, if the sensation of going through portals wasn’t impossible to ignore.

She was sitting on the countertop of one of the gambling stalls, playing a game with the owner while Ford stood beside her and watched. As far as she could tell, she’d won the last eight rounds and the owner was getting antsy.

“I have no idea!” she replied happily. “No really, I’m not sure what I’m doing.”

“Well, you have a talent for it.” Ford scooped their winnings into a pocket. That coat of his never seemed to run out of space.

���Uh huh. Grunkle Stan taught me well,” This time there was only a slight tremble in her voice when she mentioned home. She was getting better.

The stall owner made a frustrated sound. Ford quickly thanked him and took Mabel’s hand, heading into the crowds. Mabel waved a goodbye, but the large, red, five-armed being only glared.

“I don’t think that guy liked me winning all that money off him,” she said slightly nervously. Ford tightened his grip on her hand when he looked back and saw the gambler examining the dice Mabel had been using.

“Let’s get out of here quickly. Gamblers don’t like to lose, and I have seen some accuse their opponents of swindling them simply as an excuse to take back their money. You don’t want to know what they do to the actual cheaters,”

A cold feeling of dread settled in the pit of Mabel’s stomach. Unfortunately, her uncle noticed her unusual silence and looked down at her. She was too late to wipe the guilty expression from her face. Ford’s eyebrows shot up.

“You were cheating?” he said in disbelief.

Mabel swallowed. “Um … I think so?”

An enraged roar from behind them was followed by the sound of thundering footsteps.

“RUN!” Ford shouted, shoving her forwards while drawing his gun. “Get back to the al-”

He was tackled by a murderously snarling blur of red, all six orange eyes fixed on Mabel. Heart in her mouth, she sprinted away. The sound of Ford’s laser gun thinned out the crowd like magic.

Why the heck had she cheated? It had been so easy, sure, but she was usually fine without it. What had she been thinking? What if Ford couldn’t take that guy, what if he got hurt, what if –

Her breath was hitching in her chest and terror was pumping through her veins. She’d been running for a while, and oh no, she couldn’t stop now, she needed to get help, but she didn’t know anyone –

She skidded around a corner and collapsed to her knees, looking around wildly. If she just asked, someone was bound to help, right? She looked desperately around the new square she was in, but no one seemed to care about the gasping kid on the ground or the sounds of laser fire coming from a few blocks over, sweet Moses she could use a familiar face …

With a startled “HEY!” she saw one.

Mabel crashed into the blonde woman’s side, succeeding in getting her attention but failing Step Two in that she could only cough and cling desperately to her sleeve.

“Kid? Are you alright? Where’s Stanford?”

Still valiantly trying to retake control of her lungs, Mabel gestured helplessly towards the sounds of yelling and gunfire. The woman seemed to understand immediately. She drew her sword and took off running, Mabel right behind her.

They arrived just in time to see Ford get thrown against a wall.

⃝

Various swear words swam through Ford’s mind, echoed vehemently by his aching body. He could taste blood, and purple flashes were obscuring his vision. His ears were ringing. He also could not get his legs under him in order to stand up. The dislocated shoulder though, he could feel clearly.

The gambler, now in possession of Ford’s gun, levelled it at him.

Shit.

He reached for a piece of rubble with his good arm, which, if thrown, might just be enough to injure and/or distract the man while he got to his feet …

Yes. All his other attacks so far had failed but if he used a rudimentary projectile –

The treacherous thought did not get the chance to go to completion. Sword flashing, a tall blonde woman stepped between them just as the red giant fired, although instead of the laser burning straight into her it … fragmented. It seemed to break before it reached her, into pieces that dissipated in the air.

Not seeming to believe his eyes, something Ford could not blame him for, the attacker fired again, only for the same thing to happen. With that, a physical hand-to-sword assault was attempted.

Mabel crouched down in front of him, blocking the view.

“Grunkle Ford! Oh my gosh, are you okay? I’m so, so sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen! I’m gonna get you out of here, I promise,”

Unable to coherently reply, Ford was forced to make like a sack of potatoes and have his good arm slung around his twelve-year-old niece’s shoulders while the rest of him was heaved halfway off the ground. He was impressed Mabel managed to do even that much. An absurdly-timed flicker of pride blew through him.

While trying to coerce his legs into taking some of his weight, Ford found himself facing the fight. Blearily, he watched as the woman fended off a blow with one hand, her sword somehow not breaking under the impact of the being’s punch, but also failing to penetrate his skin, just as lasers had.

“Wait!” she called out sharply. She made a quick signal with her free hand. After a tense moment, the red gambler lowered his fists and walked away, all hostility disappearing like smoke. Breathing a sigh of relief, the woman turned and hurried towards them.

“Are you okay?” she asked, her hazel eyes meeting Ford’s as she pulled his dislocated arm around her shoulders.

With an agonised groan, Ford thought that it would be acceptable to now fall into unconsciousness.

[thesnadger]

Axolotol - Chapter Twelve: That You Always Keep Locked

Read previous chapters on Ao3

Thanks as always to @scribefindegil for betaing! 

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“All right...family, extended family and close friends.” Ford stood in the center of the Mystery Shack den, clapping his hands for attention. “Let's go over everyone's

The minor crowd that had assembled in the Shack quieted down and turned to him. Candy and Grenda had arrived mid-morning, and Pacifica had gotten a ride with Fiddleford. By the time everyone was gathered and ready, it was nearly noon.

“This will be a delicate and dangerous mission.” He continued, “and any number of things could bring it to disaster, so the safety of the Shack is of paramount importance. The unicorn hair barrier is still functioning, but there are a great many threats that can get through it. That's why we'll need a security force patrolling outside. Wendy, Grenda, Mabel. You three are the most formidable fighters we have.”

“Darn right.” Wendy said.

“We'll need you to circle the perimeter of the Shack.” He unfurled a map of the surrounding woods spreading it out on the table. “You'll spread out in three directions and circle counter-clockwise to ensure as few open spots in our defenses as possible. This pattern is the most efficient use of our ground forces, and the unfortunate fact that it resembles a triangle is just something we'll all have to deal with.” He added, gritting his teeth. “In particular you'll be keeping an eye out for Cipher cultists, government interference--”

“Those guys do have the worst sense of timing.” Mabel said.

“--And anything else that might pose a threat to what's happening in the Shack. Now, formidable or not, if you do encounter something dangerous it will be better if you aren't alone. So Grenda, you'll be with Candy. Mabel, because you insisted he be counted as an individual and not a pet, you'll be going with Waddles.”

“All right!” Mabel opened her arms as her beloved pig waddled up to her. “Who's gonna help me defeat the forces of evil? You are! Yes you are! Yeeeees yoooou aaaare!”

“And Wendy, you'll be paired with Pacifica.” Ford finished.

“Cool.” Wendy smirked. “Badass world-saving girl gang. And Waddles.”

“Eh.” Mabel said, still scratching the pig's cheeks. “Waddles responds to all pronouns.”

“...Soos, since you're CPR-certified, your task will be to stand by and monitor the three of us in case something goes wrong in the mindscape. In the event of an emergency, I'm trusting you to handle any necessary first-aid that may be required. Melody, your job is to ensure Soos doesn't faint in the event of an emergency, to provide additional aid, and to make any difficult decisions he may not be emotionally equipped to handle.”

“...Difficult decisions?” Melody frowned.

“You'll know them if they come up. Fiddleford....” Ford began.

“I already know, dangit, y'don't have to remind me!” Fiddleford said, holding up the device in his hand. “I'm s'posed ta keep an eye on Stan's brainwaves, because for reasons I won't understand if I live to be a hundred, you think I'll be able to tell if somethin' weird is happening in there. Weirder than all this, anyway.” He shook his head. “I'll do it, for whatever it's worth, but you know I'm getting nothing but static from that man's skull.”

“...It's worth trying all the same. Thank you.” Ford turned to Dipper. “You know well what our role is. Enter Stan's mind, find Bill, and destroy him by whatever means necessary. I can't predict exactly what we'll find in there. We'll have to be prepared for anything.”

“I know. I won't let you down.” Dipper said. “...You either.” he added, turning to Stan.

Stan grunted, glancing away. “Yeah, yeah. Just stay outta that one year where I worked as a party clown and we'll be fine.”

“Stanley...from your point of view, this will likely all feel like a dream. If we're lucky, you'll be able to focus enough to consciously aid us while we're inside your mind. We'll hope for the best.”

Ford finally turned to the three remaining figures in the room. He knelt down in front of Lee, Sephiroth and Chestaur, who were lined up nearby.

“Small, defenseless children—I have a special task for you.”

“Oh, oh!” Lee hopped up and down on her heels. “Do we get to man the giant laser canon that's gonna shoot Bill in the face?”

“That was my original plan, yes.” Ford said. “Due to your small size and manual dexterity. But there wasn't time to rebuild the quantum destabilizer and at any rate, we're not presently dealing with Bill's physical form. Also your mother expressed some concerns and a number of disturbingly specific threats when I brought the idea up to her, so instead your task is to go upstairs and watch this video--” he pulled a VHS tape from behind his back and presented it with a flourish. “--about brightly colored animals that emit personality-altering mind control beams from their stomachs.”

The children groaned.

“Now, now, it'll be fun! You can look for animation errors and analyze the influence of Regan-era conservatism on the narrative!” Ford grinned. “Up you go, come on.”

With some reluctance, Lee accepted the VHS tape and took it upstairs, her brothers following behind her. Mabel approached Dipper and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Good luck. You're gonna do great, I just know it.” She said softly.

“So are you.” Dipper replied. He let go of her and held out a fist. Mabel held one out parallel to his and made a nyyyyoo sound effect as they collided. The two of them made explosion noises and wiggled their fingers together.

“Mystery twins?” Dipper asked.

“Mystery twins for life, bro.” Mabel replied. She turned to Stan and Ford and wrapped an arm around each of them, pulling them both into a tight hug. There were a number of audible popping noises as she squeezed.

“Oouf.” Stan smiled, voice tight. “You're gonna snap these old bones in half one day, you know that?”

“S'okay. I'll glue you back together.” Mabel smiled back. “I love you.”

“You too, pumpkin.”

Mabel pulled back a little and looked at Ford. “You and Dipper'll take care of each other in there?”

“Of course.” He replied.

She nodded and reluctantly let them go. Wendy put a hand on her shoulder as she turned back towards the others. As Candy hopped onto Grenda's shoulders and ran out the front door towards the woods, Mabel took a last look back, before following after her friends.

Ford pulled the pendulum on a metronome that had been placed on a nearby table (a compromise, after last time he wasn't eager to put a paddleball in Stan's hands again.) The rhythmic clicks filled the room, and he gestured to the mustard-colored easy chair that had been surrounded by runes and protective herbs the night before.

“Welp. Here goes nothing.” Stan took a deep breath and sat down, leaning back and closing his eyes. Soos hit the lights. Ford and Dipper knelt down on either side of the chair, each placing a hand on Stan's forehead.

Ford looked at Dipper, who nodded back, and began reciting the incantation. “Videntus omnium, magister mentium...”

The others crowded around the three of them, Fiddleford watching the device in his hand with a frown, Melody resting a hand on Soos's shoulder as he fidgeted with the fez in his hands.

“...Inceptus Nolanus overratus...” Ford chanted. “Magister mentium! Magister mentium! MAGISTER MENTIUM!”

* * *

Dipper's vision was taken over by white light, and his other senses quickly followed suit. For a moment, he was nowhere. Then, he was kneeling on a soft patch of grass, he heard the sound of wind in the trees, and felt a six-fingered hand on his shoulder.

“Stand up slowly.” Ford advised. “Just because you don't have an inner ear right now doesn't mean you can't get vertigo.”

Dipper nodded and rose slowly to his feet, lifting his head to see his uncle standing beside him, and the mindscape spread out in every direction.

“Oh!” His breath caught.

“What? Do you see something?” Ford asked.

“No, no, it's just...” Dipper stared out at the scene surrounding him. “It looks so...different than it did before.”

He and Ford were standing on a bluff, overlooking the Mystery Shack. It was whole, not the broken building floating over a void that Dipper had seen before. A soft, warm light was coming from its windows. On one side, there was the forest. On the other side, the ground gave way to gently lapping waves where the Stan-O-War was anchored, beyond which the water stretched on for miles, eventually curving up into the sky. A swarm of bats flew by, dipping and circling near the Shack, but they didn't seem ominous, really...they were just the kind of spooky touch Grunkle Stan would like.

It was night. The moon was still shaped like the 8-ball from Stan's cane, but the sky around it was filled with countless twinkling stars.

Ford smiled down at him, warmly. Then he turned and pointed. “We ought to get moving. No sense in dawdling.”

“Right.”

There were floating rocks, chunks of the bluff that seemed to have been yanked away from the bulk of it, revealing dinosaur bones and veins of precious metals underneath, and they made for an easy climb down to the Shack. Ford reached into his coat and drew out a weapon that Dipper didn't recognize...maybe some sort of alien technology, or something he had made. It was always hard to tell with Ford. Had he brought a gun into Stan's mind?

“...It's a projection.” Ford said, answering Dipper's unasked question. “...This was a favorite weapon of mine before I lost it in Dimension 833-7...or was it 733-8? Whichever one was underwater.” he shrugged. “It's just a mental image, but in here things like this have a degree of power.”

“Oh yeah! I know all about that.” Dipper beamed. “It's how we defeated Bill before—we gave ourselves weapons and superpowers from our own imaginations.”

Dipper reached behind his back and pictured a laser canon that he'd seen in a movie once, a huge, intimidating thing. He felt his hand close around something and pulled it out, over his shoulder, letting the weight of the giant weapon rest there. He grinned proudly, hoping he looked cool.

“...Very nice.” Ford said mildly. “There's just one problem.”

Ford reached out and tapped the side of the laser canon with his gun. With a loud clang, the weapon fell apart, breaking into rubble and becoming lost in the grass. Dipper looked down at the pieces.

“But...” Dipper frowned. “How?”

“The more you believe the projection, the stronger it will be. Tell me...have you ever held a weapon like that in real life? Do you know how much it weighs? What kind of kick back it has? Do you have any idea how it might work? Whether it radiates heat or cold? What kind of textures are on its surface?”

“Well, no....” Dipper admitted. “I...just thought it looked cool.”

“Exactly. You only had the image of it in your mind. It wasn't real to you. And so, it fell apart when confronted with something that was imbued with a more powerful level of belief.” Ford indicated his gun. “That's why the strongest projections are always things you've actually used in real life. It takes a powerful imagination to imbue a fictional weapon with that kind of reality.”

“Geez...maybe Mabel should have been the one to go...” Dipper muttered.

“Now, now, don't get discouraged.” Ford put a hand on Dipper's shoulder. “Remember. In here, a weapon doesn't need to be literal. You don't need a giant gun to fight with...you just need something that makes you feel strong. That makes you powerful.”

Dipper nodded, thoughtfully. Right. Okay. He could do this....He reached into his coat and closed his eyes, trying to think of something that made him feel strong. Something that made him feel powerful against the supernatural. He concentrated on that feeling until he felt his hand close around something solid, and he pulled it out. Looking down, he saw a thick book with a dark red cover, the number three standing out on top of the gold six-fingered handprint in the center.

“Whoops. Uh, how'd that get there?” Dipper said, stuffing the journal back into his coat, cheeks reddening with embarrassment.

“Don't worry about it, Dipper.” Ford said, smiling, looking a little bemused. “You'll find something that works for you. For now, let's just get moving. Remember to stay close to me.”

“Right....yeah, of course.”

The two of them closed the distance between themselves and the porch. Dipper couldn't help but notice Ford pausing on the way to glance at a swingset—old and rusty, but in surprisingly good condition—stuck in the ground between the porch and the water. Something about it looked familiar, but Dipper couldn't quite place what it was. He supposed it didn't matter.

Ford entered the Shack first, his eyes sweeping nervously over the twisting halls and shadowy corners. Dipper looked around. The entrance felt a little more welcoming than it had on his last trip into Stan's mind, but it was no less of a labyrinth. Halls and stairs still twisted in every direction, like paths in an Escher drawing.

“Do you remember anything about this place from your last visit?” Ford asked.

“I think so...this part looks kind of similar...” Dipper closed his eyes and listened carefully. From a hallway to his left, he heard the soft but certain sound of a film projector. “That way!” He pointed. “Memories are down there!”

The two of them hurried down a hallway, through a door marked “memories,” and into a long room lined with doors. Hallways branched off from the sides, twisting and turning out of sight, extending out of the ceiling in defiance of gravity and opening into long, winding staircases at the floor.

“...Looks like we've got a lot to search.” Dipper said, walking out into the center of the room. There was one thing, it seemed, that was different about these hallways than before...in addition to doors, the walls were lined with framed pictures of the family. Dipper pressed his hand against one that he recognized, and found that his fingertips went through it. He took a breath and stuck his head in.

“Mabel, duck!”

Dipper flinched at the sound of his own voice, as a blast of cold air hit his face. His past self's warning had come an instant too late. His poor sister never even saw it coming—she was sent reeling backwards by a barrage of snowballs, a sneak attack from behind the outhouse.

Dipper could see her out on the lawn of the Shack, laughing as his past self pulled her to her feet and the two of them ran back towards the porch, pursued by Stan and Ford. Based on his vantage point he thought he might be watching this from one of the Shack's windows, but no one out there seemed to be able to see him.

He remembered this. It was from that year they'd all gotten super competitive about gift-giving at Hanukkah, and ended up having a big snowball fight for some reason. He watched as Ford and Stan cornered himself and Mabel by the eastern wall of the Shack.

“Had enough?” Stan tossed a snowball from hand to hand.

“Ready to admit defeat?” Ford asked.

Dipper saw his past self and Mabel look at each other and smile. In unison, they shouted “Now!”

Their grunkles realized their mistake too late to do anything about it. The sound of Wendy's laughter came from the trees, followed by a hail of ice and snow aimed squarely at the elder twins. Even from a distance, Dipper could hear their squawks of surprise.

“Oh, man...” Dipper muttered. “I remember this next part, too.”

Sure enough, he saw Soos at the top of the roof, struggling to roll a giant boulder of snow over the peak. The second he successfully pushed it over, it started rolling, picking up the snow that was still stuck to the rooftop, growing and growing until it fell on all four of them, burying them under the powder. There was a brief, worrying silence before four heads and eight hands dug their way out of the pile. Wendy was the first to laugh, pointing from her perch in the trees, then Mabel, then the rest of them. It had been a good day.

Dipper smiled at the memory, until something caught his eye, making his smile slip. It was easy to miss, tucked away in a corner of the porch. Carved into one of the boards crudely and clumsily, but still unmistakable, was a triangle with an eye in the center.

That carving wasn't supposed to be there. It wasn't on the porch in the real world. Dipper had spent last night sitting on that porch with Mabel, not far from that very spot. He'd have noticed immediately if something like that had been carved into it. Besides, they'd all gone through the Shack with a fine-toothed comb after Stan got his memories back and dug up everything that had Bill on it. Anything they couldn't burn or smash had been painted over or scratched out or something. Which meant that the carving wasn't part of this memory. It was...an invader.

Dipper pulled his head out of the picture frame, frowning, and turned back to Ford. His uncle was peering through a doorway with a tense expression. When he realized he was being watched, he quickly shut the door.

“There's no organization to any of these memories.” Ford muttered. “It's like Stanley's closet—a jumble of random things defying all rationality and sequential occurrence.”

“You might want to take a look at this one.” Dipper said. “I think I saw some sign of Bill in there.”

Ford nodded. “In the background, easy to miss unless you're looking for it?”

“Yeah, actually.”

“There's a few of them in there, too. Bill's had a long time to dig his way into Stan's mind.” Ford frowned, eyeing the walls. He walked towards the end of the room, gesturing for Dipper to follow as he headed towards one of the hallways branching off. “For all we know there might be traces of him everywhere. What we really need is some sort of trail. Something more obvious than—oh.”

Dipper turned the corner an instant after Ford, and was nearly clothesthlined as his uncle held his arm out protectively, blocking him from what was in the hall ahead. It started in a corner and crept across the floor, peeking through the boards, growing upwards and clinging to the walls like kudzu. Long, twisting vines with nasty looking thorns that sprouted yellow, three-sided leaves. The vines were spotted with concentric circles that gave off the unnerving impression of being eyes.

“...That wasn't here before.” Dipper said, unnecessarily. He looked back at Ford, to find that the older man had frozen in place, and was staring at the weeds with a distant, panicked expression. “Ford? Hey...you all right?”

“Hmm? Yes, I'm fine.” Ford snapped back to attention, withdrawing his arm and placing his hand against his holster. “We're going to have to clear this out as best we can. Do you have any experience with gardening?”

“Not really.” Dipper said, looking down the hall. The growth seemed to get thicker the further down it went. “I had a cactus once, but I over-watered it. I think I'm not very good at keeping plants alive.”

“Keeping these plants alive is frankly the furthest thought from my mind right now.”

Ford fiddled with a dial on the back of the weapon he was carrying and aimed it down the hall. Green-yellow fireballs shot out of it, spreading over the vines wherever there was contact while leaving the walls and floors untouched. Dipper swore he heard a high-pitched whine as the plants caught fire, burned and blackened.

“Stay close behind me. If there's anything you can think of that might help in tearing these things down, use it.” Ford said, sprinting down the hall.

Dipper closed his eyes and tried to remember the weight and heft of the hedge trimmers in grandpa Shermie's gardening shed. When he opened his eyes again, they were in his hands. He tucked them in his belt and hurried after Ford.

***

It was hard to tell how much time was passing. Dipper could at least say with confidence they'd been in Stan's mind long enough for the adrenaline rush to wear off and the process of hacking through what seemed like miles and miles of these vines to go from creepy and exciting to monotonous and dull.

He dug the broken half of Shermie's hedge trimmers into the base of a vine, sighed and wiped his brow. He didn't feel tired, not physically at least. Probably he couldn't get physically tired, or physically anything in here. But he was starting to feel worn out in a way that was hard to put his finger on.

“Do we actually know where we're going?” he asked Ford.

“Hard to say.” Ford pulled a small notebook out of his pocked and scribbled something on it. “I've been keeping track of our turns, but spatial relationships in the mind aren't the same as they are in reality.”

They turned the corner again and found themselves in a hall that had already been cleared. Chopped, burned and blackened vines stretched out in either direction in front of them. Dipper groaned.

“Aw, seriously? After all that we've just been going in a circle?! This sucks.”

“We're on the right track, at least.” Ford said, crumbling the charred remains of a vine in his fist. “Bill's here, somewhere. But these things are superficial. We could spend hours pulling up and destroying them and still make no progress...if we want Bill out of Stan's head, we'll have to find where they're coming from.”

“How?” Dipper frowned. “There's so many false doors and dead ends here...I'm not even sure which way we came in anymore.”

“I was hoping that by now we would have run into Stan. Or rather, a localization of his consciousness.” Ford sighed. “Though if these dead ends are part of Bill's tricks, he might be just as lost here as we are.”

“I don't know...I think it might just be Stan. I think his mind is just...sneaky or something.” Dipper muttered.

He remembered how Stan's mind had hidden the code to his safe under the rug from the gift shop...someone who didn't know to look there would have run past it without a second thought. In all the time they'd spent searching Stan's mind that day, none of them had found any memories of Ford or the portal. He hadn't even seen Stan dealing with the monsters in the forest, or anything else that would've given away the fact that his skeptic act about the supernatural was just that, an act. Stan's mind hid his secrets well.

Hmm. Last time, they'd found the code because they knew enough about Stan to guess where he'd hide something like that. Maybe they were thinking along the wrong lines.

“...You know more about Bill than any of us, Grunkle Ford.” Dipper said. “Where do you think he'd be? I mean...if Bill had a whole lifetime's worth of memories to hide in, where would he choose to anchor himself?”

“If I know Bill's methods, he'd find the place where...his host was vulnerable.” Ford said, hesitating a little before pointedly avoiding Stan's name. “He'd look for the single most important thing in his mind, whatever was truly precious, and then coil himself around it. That would allow him to use that weakness to hurt the host mind, either to discourage anyone trying to stop him, or just...because that is the sort of thing he does.”

The most important thing in Stan's mind...Dipper's eyes widened.

“Where on the Stan-O-War do you keep Mabel's scrapbooks?”

Realization spread over Ford's face. “By the Axolotl, you're right. Quickly! Let's get to the exit. The faster we move, the less time Bill has to prepare....”

The two of them sprinted back down the hallway, back to the entrance of the Shack, hoping that they hadn't been turned around enough that they'd be unable to find their way out. As they ran, Dipper began to notice something wrong with the walls and floorboards. They were shifting and shacking, cracks were widening between them. Before long, it was like running through an earthquake, the floor shuddering under them, doors flying open and closed on either side.

“He's trying to stop us!” Ford shouted back at Dipper. “That means we're on the right track! Keep running!”

“Right!” Dipper shouted back, pumping his legs for all he was worth. He focused all his attention on running. Keep moving forward, don't look back. He told himself. Not always great life advice, sure, but good in the literal sense right now.

Still, he probably should have looked down. If he had he might have seen the trap door that had been flung open by the shaking before his foot went through it. Off-balance, still mid-stride Dipper barely had the chance to process what was happening before he'd tumbled forward completely into darkness. He was falling. Above him, he heard Ford calling his name in a panic, and saw the light of the trap door shrink into nothingness. He reached up reflexively though there was nothing to grasp, and when he shouted back to Ford he couldn't hear a response.

He hit the ground with a thud. Painful, but not the bone-shattering impact it should have been, which was a plus. He'd only just barely gotten to his feet when something heavy slammed into his side, knocking him down again. Somewhere in the room, he could hear mocking, high-pitched laughter, and a chill ran up his spine.

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[bensoloredemptiontrain]

The Rise of Skywalker Teaser Trailer & Defense of Bendemption / Reylo

I was emailing with a friend and fellow Reylo, and she was concerned that Reylo might not happen and Ben might not be redeemed, based on the new trailer.  I wrote a lengthy response, and am posting a slightly edited version here:

~

These are my thoughts, in outline format:

The title, "The Rise of Skywalker" - does this mean Rey is related to Luke, and therefore to Kylo?

There are various possible other meanings.  It could mean that Rey is a symbolic Skywalker.  It could mean that Ben carries on the Skywalker legacy.  It could mean that the "Skywalker" rises in Ben, that he returns to the light and carries on Luke's legacy.  It could mean that Rey and Ben get together and carry on the Skywalker legacy together by teaching a new generation and making Skywalker babies.  It could mean that Luke's influence increases after his death.

There is no way Rey is a Skywalker by blood.  They've said that she's never seen Han or Leia or Luke or Kylo in person before The Force Awakens (TFA).   That rules out her being Leia's kid.  They could still theoretically have her be Luke or Han's kid (with an "unknown" mother), but remember this is Disney we're talking about.  Sexual purity and sex only in the context of marriage is a big thing.  This is a movie marketed for twelve-year-olds, and sex outside of marriage is NOT a kid-friendly topic.  I can't imagine Disney going that route.  Also, you think people were upset because The Last Jedi (TLJ) wasn't what people expected?   Imagine the backlash if they make it canon that Han cheated on Leia.   No.  Just... no.

They're not going to go the incest route again, or else they risk being labeled as the franchise that promotes romantic attraction between relatives.  (Again.  This is Disney.)  The attraction between Luke and Leia was mostly an accident; George Lucas did not plan on having them be related when he wrote IV; then during V he wasn't sure if Harrison Ford would sign for another movie (so Leia needed to have another option besides Han), so he kept the Luke/Leia option open until VI, when he could go full steam ahead with Han/Leia.   The overall arc of this series (VII-IX) was planned beforehand; you'd think that if Rian wrote the "smut hut" scene and they were related, someone would have gone, "NO NO NO NO NO, THEY'RE RELATED YOU CAN'T DO THAT."

Many Star Wars movie titles really only make sense after the movie, in the context of the movie.

Regarding the title, Kathleen Kennedy said, "It could mean a lot of different things. And I think that’s what was important to us. We didn’t want to have a title that felt like it was telling you the story."  i.e. the interpretation is not meant to be obvious, and the title is not meant to imply that Rey is related to Luke.

Is there still hope for Reylo?  The teaser looks like JJ might be pandering to the antis/fanboys.

YOU BET THERE'S STILL HOPE FOR REYLO!

The trailer needs to bring the fandom back together.  TLJ was really divisive.  If they make a Reylo teaser trailer, the antis won't even think about watching the movie.  They've had the whole basic story arc planned out even before TFA was released, and I believe JJ started writing The Rise of Skywalker (TROS) before TLJ came out.  They are NOT going to change the whole direction of the series because a few people are stupid and loud.  But they likely WILL make a trailer that appeals to everyone, so everyone will want to see the move.

The trailer for Return of the Jedi (ROTJ) focuses on Luke, Leia, and Han, so it makes sense (from a "throwback" perspective) to make this trailer focus on Rey, Finn, and Poe.

JJ Abrams liked TLJ.

There ABSOLUTELY is a romantic/sexual subplot between Ben and Rey - the bridal carry, "I can take whatever I want," "I can show you the ways of the Force," "you're not alone" / "neither are you," the hand-holding scene, the elevator scene, THE ENTIRE THRONE ROOM SCENE WHICH WAS BASICALLY A SEX SCENE FROM THE MOMENT BEN SUMMONS ANAKIN'S LIGHTSABER AND MAYBE EVEN BEFORE THAT, "please," etc., etc.  Rian says that the two fingers touching is "the closest thing to a sex scene that Star Wars will ever have."  Mark Hamill refers to the "romantic tension" between Rey and Ben (he starts to say "sexual tension" and then stops himself) and adds, "they never let ME touch a finger!"

The principle of "Chekhov's gun" - you only put something in a story if it's relevant.  (The Luke/Leia subplot doesn't count, see discussion above.)  Therefore, from a narrative perspective, the romance between Rey and Ben must be relevant to the story in some way.  It's not imagined or made up by fans.

Rey's story arc - the thing Rey wants most is belonging and a family.  Doesn't she deserve to get this?  Therefore for her to get HER happy ending, she needs to have a family.  The Resistance is a symbolic family, but I'm talking about more than that.  You could pair her with Poe or Finn, but that doesn't work as well.  Poe doesn't have the emotional depth that Rey does, and Finn has Rose.  I have a theory that one of the main reasons Rose was introduced was so that Finn would have somebody to love, because he's not getting Rey.  What would happen to Rose if Finn and Rey got together?  (We're sure Poe will be fine if he doesn't get Rey, the guy has chemistry with anything that stands still long enough.)

Again, heroine's journey.  Cue Beauty and the Beast, Tangled, etc.  The heroine of the "heroine's journey" story line ALWAYS falls in love and lives happily ever after (after her lover nearly dies).  The heroine ALWAYS falls in love with someone that is different from her in some way and who helps her grow as a person.  You CANNOT say this about Finn or Poe; you can ONLY say it about Kylo.

JJ was the one who STARTED Reylo.  TFA looks so much like a fairy tale, it's not even funny.  Rey's dressed in white, Ben looks like a dark prince (and his lightsaber looks like a knight's sword), their first and last meetings in the movie take place in FORESTS, the scene where Rey runs out of Maz's castle looks like the scene where Cinderella runs out of the king's castle, the scene where Ben says "I can show you the ways of the Force" sounds like the scene where Aladdin sings to Jasmine "I can show you the world," and the whole idea of a beautiful girl meeting a guy who seems and looks inhuman at first sounds an awful lot like Beauty and the Beast.  JJ's not stupid.  He knows how this comes across; he knew EXACTLY what he was doing.  Also, who carries someone bridal-style across a battlefield?!   That's literally the most romantic but also dumbest way to carry someone - he can't reach his lightsaber!  (Contrast this with when he captured Poe, he just had the stormtroopers drag him onto the ship.)

Kylo is repairing his mask, is fighting together with stormtroopers, and may be the one who attacks her in the beginning.  /  Is this a waste of Adam Driver's talent?

Take a good look at the hands repairing the mask.  They do NOT look like Kylo's hands.  They look kind of furry or hairy, so either this is a humanoid alien, or it's a human wearing some really hairy coat.  Also, look at the bracelets on the wrists.  I am almost 100% positive that this isn't Adam Driver.

He's fighting with stormtroopers.   Yes, it appears that way.  This could either take place before his redemption, OR there is a theory that either Hux will try to overthrow Kylo and the First Order will split into factions (so this could be Kylo's men against Hux's) OR there is another theory that Finn will help the stormtroopers rebel (so this could be Kylo on the light side leading the stormtroopers who are in rebellion).

When he strikes down the guy in the forest, his fighting style looks more sexy and assured, as opposed to the vicious and unstable fighting style that we've come to expect from TFA and TLJ, which might imply that his "soul" is healing.

Adam Driver knew where this was going from the beginning.  They told him his character's whole arc before he signed, because he didn't just want to play the token bad guy.  He wanted to play someone with emotional depth and challenges, so we can expect to see that continued in TROS.  When Adam is asked about Kylo's story arc, he ALWAYS gets this little secret smile on his face, even though he's trying to keep his face neutral.   It's adorable.  When he was asked what he liked best about his character's story arc in TROS, Adam said that he couldn't say, but that "we're working toward something in particular with that character" (and he followed this with another one of those secret, adorable smiles).

NO ONE INVOLVED WITH STAR WARS CALLS KYLO THE VILLAIN.  NO ONE.  Contrast this with Vader (who was redeemed) who was blatantly called the villain in the teaser trailer for ROTJ.  And, the teaser trailer for ROTJ had NO hint whatsoever that Vader was redeemable.  No one guessed it.  There weren't really hints elsewhere in A New Hope or The Empire Strikes Back that Vader was redeemable, either.  (Contrast this with Ben.)

Maybe Kylo is the one who attacks her in the beginning.  Sure, maybe.  It looks like his gloves (although you don't see his face, so it might not be him).  But if this is a fight between them, it could easily be at the beginning of the movie, before he gets redeemed and before they fall in love.  Also, what if the trailer makes it look like he's attacking her, but really this takes place after he's redeemed and she's jumping into the cockpit to JOIN him?  We don't know.

She's not being shot at.  She's being chased, but we don't see her being shot at, which is interesting.  You could make the argument that maybe the guns on the TIE Silencer have jammed, but that doesn't seem likely, given that the ship looks pretty sleek and new and intact.

You don't make a legitimate villain this sexy.  You just don't.  (JJ has even gone on record saying that Ben looks like a "dark prince" when he removes his helmet during TFA.)

Rey seems to hang around just with Finn, Poe, etc. / Kylo does not seem to play a major part in all this.

Kylo has NEVER played a big role in the TEASER trailers... they've always focused mainly on Rey (and Finn and Poe).  In TFA teaser, we just see him from the back igniting his lightsaber in the forest.  In TLJ teaser, we just see a close-up shot of Kylo holding his lightsaber.  Kylo has NEVER had more than a brief cameo in a teaser trailer, but he's always had a bigger part in the regular trailer.  Actually, his role in this teaser trailer is bigger than in the other teaser trailers!

They could intentionally be cutting down his screen time in the trailers if he doesn't really have any "villain" scenes in the movie, to keep that a surprise for when people actually see the movie.

Trailers are great at leaving out important details.  The teaser trailer for TFA leaves out the fact that Rey has the Force.  The teaser trailer for TLJ trailer leaves out the Force bond between Rey and Ben.  (etc.)

Trailers are great at being misleading.  The regular trailer for TFA trailer implies that Luke would actually have a role in the movie.  The regular trailer for TLJ implies that Rey was talking to Ben when she says, "I need someone to show me my place in all of this."

Also, check out this picture of Ben in TROS!  That look on his face totally screams tall-dark-and-broody-guy-redeemed-from-the-dark-and-reuniting-with-his-true-love ;)  I don't think I've ever actually seen him look this at peace.

AND check out Daisy's reaction when asked about Rey and Kylo this weekend - the secret smile / trying-not-to-smile expression and the "we'll have to wait and see."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0diw4fAisQ (3:30-4:00)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5E6EbcAMRE (0:00-0:10)