#my friend asked if they moved to New York in the second pic ;v;

[otaku553]

The passage of time

[rafeandonlyrafe]

the beginning

words: 1.4k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, pretty fluffy and cute tho, male masturbation, kinda creeping on reader by masturbating to pics of her?, p in v sex, brief male receiving handjob, unprotected sex, a bunch of different scenes with time gaps this isnt one continuous fic if that makes sense?

“your bikini is so cute.” you tell your friend, looking at your own swimsuit in the mirror.

“i have another one in a different color, you wanna borrow it?” julie offers.

“girl, yes!” you squeal as she digs through her closet before tossing the small material to you. you were invited on rafe camerons boat, and while you chose your best swimsuit, you just moved to the outer banks from new york city and don’t have a ton of options.

you put the swimsuit on before standing next to your friend. “we look good.” you nod.

“damn girl, the boys are gonna be all over you.” “hopefully including rafe.” you say, a slight blush coming to your cheeks. it didn’t take you long to learn that rafe was the it boy of the outer banks, the kook prince, and that all the girls wanted him. you didn’t get the hype until you met him at a party and instantly became attracted.

“there’s no way he’s gonna be able to keep his eye of you.” julie encourages you, before glancing at her phone. “we better get going.”

you nod, looking one last time in the mirror before putting your coverup on and following julie out of her room.

--

“hey rafe.” you smile at him, letting him sling his arm around your shoulder. you’ve been flirting a lot, its how you got invited onto his boat along with a few other friends, but you haven’t progressed past just talking.

“hey.” rafe tugs you into him, making you press against his shirtless torso, in just his swim shorts. “wanna come up and drive with me?”

“yeah.” you nod, briefly looking to julie to make sure she was good, but she's already twirling her hair and batting her eyelashes at kelce.

you follow rafe up to the stairs to the second story of the yacht where the captains helm is. you sit next to him on the bench as he steers the boat out of the marina. 

“this is a really nice boat.” you comment. “maybe you should give some advice to my parents on what to buy, my dad is looking but has no clue what is good.” you say without thinking, before cringing at your words, worrying rafe might mistake your small talk as wanting him to meet your parents.

“ah yeah, didn’t have much opportunities to own a yacht in new york, huh?” rafes says as his arms move the wheel, making your attention shift to his muscles.

“nope.” you shake your head. “but i’m glad we moved, i love the city but its really nice to be somewhere… calmer.”

“i’m glad you moved too.” rafe says with a smile, making you blush as you nod at him. you manage to make the small talk not overly awkward as he drives the boat out towards the ocean before finding a place to drop anchor and hang out for a bit.

“wanna swim?” rafe asks as you both head down the stairs, rejoining the group.

“yeah.” you nod, pulling your coverup off over your head. you toss it onto a soft before turning to rafe, who is staring down at your body, blatantly checking you out as he pulls his lower lip between his teeth.

he doesn’t snap out of it until topper claps him on the shoulder. “i got the ladder in for us, man.”

“yeah, yeah thanks.” rafe nods, eyes finally flicking up to meet yours.

“y/n! jump in with me!” julie calls.

“lets go?” you tilt your head, looking to rafe.

“wait before you jump in i want to get a picture of everyone.” rafe shouts out, pulling his phone out of his pocket and handing it to topper. “you'll take it?”

“yeah, sure.” topper says, looking at his friend a little strangely.

you all group together on the front deck, rafe moving so you’re in the center, his arm around your waist as you smile at the camera. you change your pose a couple times as topper continues to snap pictures, including turning towards rafe and placing your hand on his abs, still grinning as you pose.

rafe eyes up topper as he leans and picks you up, topper getting the message to record as you let out a shriek, wrapping your arms around rafes shoulder as he hurdles towards the water before jumping off the back deck, sending a spray of water as you let go of him and swim towards the surface.

you push the hair out of your face before sending a splash in rafes direction, scrunching your brows to show your anger at getting tossed in, but you can’t help the smile that stretches over your cheeks.

--

rafe gives you a tight hug, not caring that your hair is still wet and smelling of salt water. “i had fun today.”

“i did too.” you nod, getting on your tip toes to press your lips to his cheek. 

“what are you doing tomorrow?” rafe questions.

“why, wanna take me on a date?” you ask, biting your lip as your eyes glance between his eyes and his lips.

“and what if i do?” rafe smirks.

“then i’m definitely free.” 

“pick you up at 6:30 then.” rafe says, pulling you against him again before letting you go, watching you get into julies car.

--

“fuck.” rafe groans, hips thrusting forward as he fucks his fist, phone pulled open to the pictures he had topper took. he doesn’t give a shit about anyone else, he cropped everyone out but you, in your tiny lilac bikini.

rafe groans, wanting to squeeze his eyes shut as he squeezes the head of his dick, imagining it was you instead, either your mouth on him or you spread out below him, moaning as he fucks into your cunt.

rafe thinks about texting you, about begging you to come over, but he remembers your date tomorrow, knows what is going to happen after if things go well. he doesn’t want to seem too desperate, but you’re too pretty, too enticing as he swipes to the next photo, the photo of you turned to the side, hand on his bare abdomen.

he looks at the curve of your ass, the way the bikini hugs your hips. rafe strokes faster, imagining his hand making impact with your bum, watching the skin ripple.

“y/n.” rafe groans out your name as he cums, releasing over his stomach as he squeezes himself until he’s satisfied, smiling as he swipes again, this time to the video of him picking you up and running into the water.

--

“this is easily the best first date i’ve ever had.” you say as rafe drives you home. it was surprisingly simple, a picnic on the beach all set up by rafe, and then some live music on the pier.

“mine too.” rafe says, placing a cautious hand on your thigh, relieved when you smile at him.

“you know…” you begin as rafe pulls up to your door. “my parents are back in new york this weekend.”

“really?” rafe hums, bringing the car up the driveway.

“if you’d like to come in for some… tea.” 

“tea, sure.” rafe nods, turning his truck off.

you move quickly inside. while you made up the tea excuse to get him in, you both know what the intentions are as rafe presses you against the wall of the entrance as soon as the door swings shut behind you, his lips meeting yours.

--

“good morning.” you mumble, turning over in rafes arms, both still naked from the night before.

“morning.” rafe says, his voice gruff from just waking. he moves a hand to your hair, brushing it out of your face. “you look beautiful.”

“not too bad yourself.” you smile, pressing your lips against rafes.

the kiss instantly wakes him up as his hand moves to the back of your neck, deepening the kiss as he turns so he’s over top of your body, your hair flared out on the pillow.

you smirk into the kiss when you can feel rafe growing against your stomach. you reach down with one hand, grasping his shoulder to keep him close and kissing you with the other while you stroke his cock, getting it to full hardness quickly.

“when are your parents home?” rafe asks suddenly when he pulls away.

“um-” your brain briefly doesn’t work at the randomness of the question. “monday evening.” “i say-” rafe says, reaching down and grasping his cock, pushing your hand out of the way as he rubs the head of his cock through your pussy. “we spent the entire weekend in bed then.”

you gasp as rafe thrusts into you, filling your cunt in one swoop. “sounds good to me.” you say, before pulling him back into a kiss.

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @rafecamerongirl @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary

[celestica-1988]

Come With Me.

TheDirt!NikkiSixxXFemaleReader.

Requested: Yes, by anonimous.

Can I get a Nikki (The Dirt version) one-shot? Reader's an actress and has been dating him since he was in his band London. She got her big break after starring as the final girl in a slasher movie. I thought Friday the 13th would make the most sense, because it was released 1 year before Mötley Crüe was formed. Tommy recognizes her before he recognizes Nikki. She gets cast as the final girl in A Nightmare on Elm Street and is there to soften the blow when Nikki sees Deana again and fires Doc.

1979 (Y/N)

 You could remember very well the first time you saw Nikki Sixx.

At the times his name was still Frankie Ferrana and you attended the first years of high school. Since your parents travelled a lot because of work you were the new kid in the class, you just moved to Seattle and felt out of place. People were not nice to you, they mocked you and bullied you, so the day that a dark haired boy stepped by you felt protected for the first time.

Nikki was the problematic boy of the school, the guy no one wanted to mess up with and he was helping you, a perfect stranger.

You remembered asking him why and he simply said that outcasts must stick together, since then you were inseparable. You helped him with homework and he showed you all the place in which you could hang out in the city. Your parents didn’t like him, but you didn’t care.

Nikki was the first person you could call friend, the one who knows all the sides of you and your secret dream: become an actress.

He was supportive of it, not like your family. You grew up in a very strict family and being an actress wasn’t considered a serious job, just Nikki considered it this way.

The more you knew him the more you were drawn to him and to his magical green eyes.

You gave him your first kiss and your v-card and you didn’t regret it a little bit, he was so sweet that you wondered how people at school were so scared of him.

Maybe because he wasn’t just a meek victim and he bit back, maybe because there were rumors that said he made arrest his own mother. Nikki never talked about her, the only thing he said was that she was a bitch and you decided to respect his silence.

You became his girlfriend the last year of high school, you even attended the school prom with him (you had a pic of it in your wallet). When high school ended you remembered how he was by your side in the worst time of your life. Your parents wanted you to go at college, you just wanted to be an actress so everyday you fought with them. You were always worn out and Nikki was seriously worried for you.

In the end he was the one who came up with the solution.

One evening, after a day of hard fights, you were laying in your bed when you heard some weird muffled noises. Nikki was throwing little rocks at your window.

“Come with me!” he mouthed, you nodded.

You threw the necessary in a backpack and climbed down from your window, thanking God that there were a tree near enough to it.

After kissing and hugging he said the best thing of all the times: “Fuck your parents, Y/N. I’m going to L.A. because I wanna be a musician, come with me. You could be an actress, Hollywood is waiting for you.” “Nikki, I love you.”

You said after kissed him.

And so you left everything for your dream, you still treasured this memory, because you never felt so free like that summer night.

You two arrived in Los Angeles as runaways, you started to live together in a little apartment. Nikki worked here and there and you did the same, but you were happy. It was the best time of your life, you talked all night about your dreams and everything seemed so beautiful in those days.

Now everything was different and you couldn’t even tell when things started to go bad between you and him. He was in a band called London, but he kept fighting with the singer and you, after a series of small roles, got the big chance of your life. You were chosen as the final girl in a slasher movie called Friday the 13rd. You thought Nikki would be happy for you, but he wasn’t.

Since you got the role he was grumpy and he criticized you for every little thing you did wrong. It was not Nikki like doing it, so you understood that there were something more that you being clumsy.

And this evening you were about to confront him and made him spit the truth.

You finished to drink your tea and lighted up a cigarette.

One minute after the apartment’s door opened and Nikki came in, you got up from the couch and approached him.

“Why are you still awake, Y/N?

Shouldn’t you work tomorrow?” His voice was ironic.

“I’m still up because we need to talk, Nikki. What’s the problem?” “What do you mean?” “There’s something bothering you and it’s not me being clumsy. What’s it bothering you?”

“Nice to see you noticed it.” That was the last straw, you couldn’t stand anymore his sarcasm.

“Oh, Nikki. Spit the fuck out. What is your fucking problem with me?

What have I done?” “What you done? You accepted that fucking role without even discussing with me!”

“Really?! I never discussed my other roles with you and you didn’t get mad. Why now?” “Are you fucking stupid or are you playing the idiot?

This is not some little role, this is a big chance and you cut me out from it.” “Because I don’t need your permission to do something, you are not my father!” “No, I’m not. But I’m your boyfriend if this means something to you.” “I don’t fucking understand!”

You screamed in frustration.

“Oh, my fucking God. You will be the last girl in a horror movie, do you know what this mean?

A lot of guys jerking out thinking of you, do you think I like it?

You are my fucking girlfriend, not all Americans’ boys one!”

You were left speechless.

“You are just jealous…” “Just? That’s the problem, you didn’t take me in consideration!” “You were the one who always support me, I never thought you ended up being like my parents!”

He laughed bitterly.

“Your parents didn’t want you to be an actress, I’m okay with it, but not with this role.

Don’t try this game on me, Y/N.”

“Fine. Do you know what, Nikki?

Fuck you, it’s over. You are a selfish prick who wants me locked in a cage.

I don’t wanna be with you anymore.” “Me too, because you are a selfish whore.

Get your shit and go away.” His voice was cold as ice, you held back the tears.

“Sure as hell I’ll do, asshole.”

And so you lost the most important person in your life in a way you didn’t even expect.

It hurt like hell, but you couldn’t forgive Nikki, not his time.

You decided to not say anything on his drinking and drugs problems, but you couldn’t get over this stupid jealousy.

This was your first heartbreak and it was really painful.

………………………………………….

 1982 (Nikki)

 After three years from his breakup with Y/N Nikki was still fond of her and he was still jealous.

He never watched a film in which there was her acting because then the urge to call her would have been unbearable and he couldn’t afford to call her. If he wasn’t so scared about feelings (thanks, mom), he would also admit that he still loved her, but he simply couldn’t.

He bottled everything inside himself and just fucked random girls.

Life was still good for him.

Now he was in a band he could call his own and in which he was the most important member, he lived with his band member in an apartment on Sunset Strip.

Every weekend there was a party in their house, but at the moment he was scribbling some ideas for a new song.

After finishing it he went in Tommy’s – the drummer – room and froze. There were a big poster of Y/N as the last girl in Friday the 13rd, his eyes widened and his fist clenched. That was why he was so against that role, Tommy was the common American boy, the one who were looking for love, but in the meantime he enjoyed random sex and jerking off. Nikki was rubbed by the fact that he was jacking off on his ex girlfriend, the one that he still have feeling for.

“Hey, dude! What’s up?” Nikki turned around to face a smiling Tommy.

“That poster….” He pointed to Y/N one.

“Take it off.” “What? Why?”

“Just do it.” His voice was stern.

“Why, Nikki?

Don’t you like her?” “I fucking her, she’s my ex girlfriend and I don’t want you to masturbate over her.” Tommy’s eyes widened.

“I didn’t know…” He whispered.

“Now you know. Take it off.” “Okay.” Nikki didn’t go away till Tommy removed the poster and threw away in the trash can.

“Do you still love her, man?” “Yes.” His murmur was so low that Tommy barely heard it.

“Now… I have something to show you. I started to write a new song.” Nikki wasn’t ready to talk about Y/N.

Not yet.

Not even with his best friend.

…………………………………………..

 1985 (Y/N)

 You were in New York City, your acting career was doing well.

After playing as the final girl in Friday the 13rd you had better roles and now you were casted as the final girl in another horror movie: A Nightmare on Elm Street

You were happy, but you never forgot Nikki, not even for a second, it was like a silent ghost who haunted your life. Maybe because you still love him, maybe because now he was famous too as Mötley Crüe’s bassist and he had millions of fans and girls willing to have sex with him.

He wasn’t your boyfriend from a long time so why were you bothered by it?

You had no idea, you couldn’t explain it rationally.

You were so lost in your thoughts that just when someone almost walked over you, you came back to earth.  You were ready to insult this person to death when you saw a pair of green eyes you were able to recognize in between millions of green eyes.

They were Nikki’s eyes and they were full of rage and pain, you could tell he was hurting, that something deep inside him was wounded.

“Frankie?”

You murmured in a low tone, the eyes widened.

“Y/N?” He was surprised but suddenly he locked you up in a hug, you were about to complain when something wet fall on your neck: Nikki was crying.

You couldn’t help but hugged him back.

You stayed this way for a while, then you released him and took one of his hands in yours.

“Come with me.” He nodded.

You went in your hotel room with him and offered him some drinks, but he refused.

“What’s up, Fran… Nikki?”

“My manager invited my mother to visit me. We don’t talk to each other till I was a kid and she came out of the blue asking if ‘Home Sweet Home’ was written for her.

She’s the usual selfish bitch, I can’t take her anymore.” Then he looked at you.

“Sorry.” “It’s okay, Nikki. I’m not bothered by you, feel free to talk.” He shook his head.

“I didn’t mean to apologize to you for bringing you again in my shit. I apologize because I had been n asshole when I broke up with you.” “Oh.” “I was so jealous that everybody would see my girl half naked that I didn’t even take into consideration your feelings or watched the movie. Maybe I was just jealous that you hit the big time before me, but at the time I wasn’t ready to admit it. I’m really sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. I should have talked to you before accepting that role.”

You two stayed silent for a while.

“I want someone who love me for who I am.” He said, you got closer to him and cupped his face with your hands and kissed him.

You didn’t’ think, you just followed your instinct.

Now you were embarrassed and Nikki was surprised.

“What does it mean?” “Sorry, it was inappropriate.” “It wasn’t, but why, Y/N?” “Call me idiot, Nikki, but I still love you.” You lowered your eyes, afraid to read a rejection in them, but he lifted up gently your chin.

“Don’t be afraid of me, Y/N.”

“I’m not afraid of you, I’m afraid that you went on with your life and stopped loving me.”

“You are the first girl I felt in love with and there were nothing serious after you.

You know, just sex, but my heart was frozen.”

“What are you trying to say?” “That I still love and I would like to give another chance to this crazy love of ours.” “Are you sure?” “Yes.” And he kissed you with burning passion.

Nikki has always been unpredictable, you had no certain that tomorrow he would still want to be with you or that he was so nice just because you were there at the right time to soften the blow.

You didn’t care while you were undressing him.

All you knew was that you were happy he was there.

How the fuck could you live without him for all these years?

It wasn’t important.

The important thing was that something told you that tomorrow he would be still there to rebuild your relationship from the scratch.

It was a fucking good feeling.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 2x06-- Day 443

Sorry for the delay, guys. I liked this episode but for some reason I found it super boring to rewatch and kept putting off writing this. (I think you will be able to tell that I was writing this just to write something.)

A chair sits in a brightly lit, half unfinished room. This turns out to be the studio where Adrian is recording an interview with Cable News (they say it like it’s a proper noun in this episode so I’ve decided it is). Adrian looks uncomfortable doing this—the strange room, the logistics of the interview, the soundcheck, the unmanned camera.

We only hear Adrian’s side of the interview, and we have no context for it, so it sounds awkward. He misgenders someone (he can’t see the rest of the panel) (this is just like s5 Alicia!) and makes a comment about a case and then it’s over.

When Adrian arrives at the office, he’s wearing a black baseball cap. I am not sure why but it’s a look.

Marissa applauds him when he gets off the elevator—apparently the ten words he said were super impressive. Marissa also informs Adrian that Diane and Julius are in his office and there’s a visitor there for him. What, exactly, is Marissa’s job?

There are still boxes left over from the party. That’s a lot of booze.

“The next time they ask me to be a pundit, tell me no,” Adrian laughs, thinking he made a fool of himself.

“Wait, wait, wait, we’ve got to discuss Lucca,” Diane says as Adrian starts to leave. “We can’t ask her if she’s pregnant. It’s illegal,” Julius explains. “And Lucca’s not saying anything,” Adrian understands. The partners quickly realize that Lucca’s not saying anything specifically so she isn’t bumped from “the biggest case of the year” which goes to trial in two months.

Julius’s solution is to “talk to her friend Maia” to get info about Lucca’s pregnancy. Well, that’s shitty. Also, where is Liz? In this episode, but also in this scene specifically. We get Julius for this but not the name partner who is a mother?

The dude involved in the Peeper case Adrian referenced on Cable News shows up in the conference room, wanting Adrian to represent him.

And it’s Adrian’s lucky day, because a prominent Chicago lawyer we’ve never heard of is in reception too! Diane seems more impressed by him than I would think, since I was long under the impression that Diane Lockhart was supposed to be one of the biggest names in the Chicago legal world.

Ok I take that back, this Franz dude says “And Diane Lockhart, I know you,” when after introducing himself to Adrian. Ok, good.

He also knows Julius. Where has Julius been these past few episodes? I thought he was a series regular. Maybe he went for a visit to the New York office. Or he was spending time with the six children he has.

Franz was impressed with Adrian’s Cable News appearance too. It apparently has 300,000 likes.

Franz tries to stand while everyone from RBL sits, and Adrian won’t let him. I’m reminded of the Supreme Court Superlawyer in W4x09 who preached at Diane, Will, and Alicia. Adrian remains standing, so Franz can’t literally talk down to him.

Then some weird pantomiming of fighting happens. I am unsure what is going on, but I do know that Adrian’s air punches have been gifed and are on GIPHY or something, because on my commute home one day this week I looked up for a second and saw a gif of Adrian from this scene on someone else’s phone screen. (Sadly, he selected another, non-TGF gif to use in his conversation.)

Oh, we are talking about Wilk Hobson again. I didn’t realize he was in multiple episodes—I only remembered him from 2x05—but he popped up last night when I was rewatching 4x17, and IMDb says he’s also in 2x10.

Franz wants to talk about the lawyer killings. In fact, he informs RBL, “the big six firms have been meeting over the past few weeks to discuss how to address this problem.” I’ve never heard of the Big Six firms, but I guess that makes sense. If all firms in Fictional Chicago go through as much turmoil as LG always did, I can definitely believe there’s an alliance of six firms we’ve never heard of before.

Franz extends RBL an invitation to meet with the Big Six, because he saw Adrian on Cable News.

After the meeting, Diane and Adrian are shocked and Julius is so excited he’s had to leave the room (lol no he’s just disappeared without an explanation again). “What DID you say on Cable News?” Diane asks.

Now we get to see the Cable News panel from the other side, and I’m still not sure why what Adrian said is impressive. It lasts for about five seconds and he offers some mild pushback. That’s it. I feel like if you’re going to bother with showing something from one perspective and then later filling in the blanks, the scene should make sense the second time around. It still seems awkward and abrupt to me, and even though I’ve seen the episode and know what Peeper is, I don’t get what Adrian’s talking about. I am not sure what would get this clip 300,000 likes?

Diane and Marissa (who’s popped up because… idk she has) encourage Adrian to go on Cable News again.

The fact that Adrian has a framed picture of himself with Obama is fantastic but it doesn’t really help me believe that his office is anything other than Diane’s office, redecorated. Just swap out the Hillary/Diane pic for an Obama/Adrian one…

Adrian was doubting his Cable News abilities, but not anymore!

Julius goes to talk to Maia about Lucca’s pregnancy. Maia is at a table rather than a work station and Julius asks why. “I got here too late,” Maia says. Why would you tell your boss that, Maia? I can’t imagine RBK is chill with people strolling in whenever they want (though actually, maybe they would have a flex hours program) and you probs shouldn’t tell a partner that you arrived to work too late to grab a desk.

Julius asks Maia about Lucca’s “condition” and they both know what he’s talking about. “I think she wants to be thought of as a lawyer and not an expectant mother,” Maia explains. Yeah, something like that. And Lucca’s not even slightly wrong to assume her pregnancy would affect things.

Case in point: seconds after Maia says this, Julius doubles back to ask Maia to take the lead on the next step in Lucca’s big case. Maia is stunned and runs after Julius to protest her new assignment. It’s Lucca’s case, after all. When Maia asks why she’s been put in charge of the motion, Julius says “I’m a partner, and you’re an associate, and I want you to take it.” Good ‘ol Julius. I think he takes pleasure in lording his power over underlings.

“Is this about Lucca’s condition?” Maia asks. Um, yes, it obviously is. Equally obvious is that Julius would never say that out loud.

“No. It’s about you having a chance to be first chair,” Julius replies.

“Does Lucca know?” Maia asks next. “No. Go ahead and tell her!” Julius tells Maia. Seriously, he sounds delighted to give Maia this task.

Maia immediately goes to inform Lucca. “You are different since your ride-along,” Lucca observes after Maia makes a comment about being fine without a desk. What? First Maia was different after prison, now she’s different after her ride-along… can we stop saying Maia’s changed so much? And if we’re going to stick with that narrative, can it at least be consistent? I don’t even understand what her ride-along would’ve changed or how her comment about desks is possibly related to it.

Lucca jumps right into talking about the case, and Maia hesitantly tells her about what Julius asked her to do. Lucca asks why, and Maia says she doesn’t know, but Julius was asking about her “condition.” Lucca just goes, “Oh, fuck.” She’s not thrilled that the partners are assuming things about her work performance.

“You haven’t even told me, and I’m your friend,” Maia says. … Lucca is v obviously pregnant (she’s showing!). But, as she says, it’s not that she’s unaware that others can tell—it’s at least in part “just having those words [I’m pregnant] come out of my mouth. It feels weird.”

“Now, here’s the other worry. I’m on the partner track. For the first time in my career, I have some traction. And now I’m worried they’ll use… this to penalize me,” Lucca explains.

This prompts Maia to say what may be the smartest thing I’ve ever heard Maia say: that the partners can’t legally penalize Lucca for her pregnancy, but if she continues to keep it a secret, they can blame “performance” and make moves against her without being liable.

I do not remember much about the opposing counsel in the COTW, Amber Wood Lutz, but I remember that she was on last season and I expected her to become a recurring player. And here we are again.

“Every time a new lawyer is killed, I think of you,” she tells Adrian. I definitely don’t remember this rivalry. It was probably a thing. I just don’t remember it.

Mike from Veep is a judge now! He keeps saying that trials are nothing like what we see on TV. He even makes the same comments twice. The point—which could’ve been conveyed in far fewer lines, IMO—is that this trial is going to become extremely theatrical (even by TGW/F standards) since Adrian’s in Cable News mode.

This case is not that interesting. It could be, but it’s not much more than an excuse to talk about the alt-right and neo-Nazis. So, I probably won’t comment on it much, if at all.

Diane and Adrian head from court to a meeting of the Big Six Plus RBL, which is being held in a space that looks like the Cheesecake Factory but for people who think they’re too classy for the Cheesecake Factory.

Amber Wood Lutz is also in the Big Six. Adrian believes this is because they are “pretending to be diverse.”

I really don’t know how I’m forgetting this Amber/Adrian rivalry from last season. It’s quite intense.

Oh God, I’m only just at the credits? Can you tell from how sloppy my writing is that I just want to get this written? This episode wasn’t bad and it wasn’t great. It wasn’t even that interesting. I like writing about things that give me a lot to chew on, and I like writing about things that are so terrible I can rant for pages. Recapping something boring… is boring.

This episode was written and directed by women! (Finally.)

RBL is asked to donate $40,000 pretty much immediately after they sit down at the table. The widow of a wealthy lawyer needs $40,000 donations from seven firms? Why the fuck does she need $280k?

“We are being hunted,” Franz says. The show would like us to believe, at least to an extent, that the lawyer killings aren’t being investigated thoroughly because the police and lawyers aren’t friendly and everyone hates lawyers.

Now we get a rehash of the debate about giving the police your firm’s client list that we already heard in 2x03. That reminds me, when do we get to learn more about Liz’s husband?

Adrian comes up with a good next step for the Big Six. And then he’s on Cable News again (okay, it’s called Review of the Day). This time, he isn’t doing an interview remotely, but it’s the same show. If the show was in Chicago this whole time, why was Adrian doing the interview remotely from a studio in the first place?

There is another black man on the panel that night—“I’m the young, angry activist. You’re the older Obama statesman. That’s the only way they keep two black pundits on the panel, if we both stick to our lanes,” the other panelist warns. Adrian waves this advice off.

There’s been another lawyer killing, only this one may be racially motivated as well. Or, at least, that’s what Cable News thinks. This goes about as well as anyone who has ever watched a panel on actual cable news would expect, which is to say that people start screaming at each other about racism and making claims they can’t support based off of baseless assumptions they’ve made.

Adrian then insults Asshole Panelist and says he’s being overpaid to “ignorantly yap your mouth off.” Heh. I get why that one might go viral.

This makes the other panelists mad. Asshole Panelist thinks Adrian is playing high and mighty and the other black panelist accuses him of intentionally coming after his job. Even the host isn’t thrilled: Adrian mentioned money, and you’re not supposed to mention money.

Adrian’s second appearance is poorly received by some of his peers, even though this time, he was sure of what he was doing. Diane (playfully) accuses Adrian of intentionally stirring up trouble, and Adrian doesn’t deny it. Instead, he smiles and laughs.

For some reason there is a young woman who wants an autograph in reception at Adrian’s office. Don’t y’all have security?

Case stuff happens.

Lucca waits nervously to talk to the partners. She chats with Marissa a little and informs her of her pregnancy. “I’m telling everyone now,” she says. Marissa says she’s going to throw Lucca a shower—with a stripper. I want to see that! The shower, not the stripper. (Though…)

The partners congratulate Lucca when she shares her news. It seems genuine enough, and I’d love to believe that the partners won’t hold Lucca’s pregnancy against her. It’s certainly possible not to! I just need to see it to believe it with these people at this firm on this show.

“The birth date is scheduled for May 22nd,” Lucca says. It’s SCHEDULED? Honey. I’ve never spent any time around babies and even I know that you can’t make a baby obey your schedule. Lucca claims she’ll be back at work on the 25th. I’m curious to see how Lucca’s priorities and expectations shift over the course of the season. I think it’s very reasonable that she would want to keep working and I definitely don’t expect—or want—to have that choice invalidated. But a lot of what Lucca’s saying right now sounds more like denial of the realities of being a parent and nervousness about losing the things that are part of her identity than an actual plan for parenting.

Julius Cain is the father of six. I am assuming he doesn’t spend much time with any of his SIX kids given that there are six of them, and in nine years we’ve never heard about a single one. Poor Julius. The writing for him seems to consist of excuses for why he’s been absent and revelations that are out of left field. (Though I do buy that he’s the father of six. If you told me he was the father of six and he was very involved in his kids’ lives, I might have a problem believing that.)

Yeah, the partners are just putting on a show. They’re still going to watch Lucca very carefully. And they’re going to keep Maia ready to step in. If this case is so big, why is MAIA the backup plan? No offense to Maia (or maybe offense to Maia)—she hasn’t proven herself capable of this so why would the partners trust her with a big case?

The Big Six are back at Fancy Cheesecake Factory because that’s their favorite spot. I don’t even know what’s going on. It’s about police suits. I don’t care, since I know this whole conversation is lead-up to the reveal about Franz trying to woo RBL into dropping their police brutality suits so he’ll get more business from the police. It’s also a theoretical debate about issues I can’t have a stance on because they’re created for the show. Are the police failing to investigate lawyer killings? I mean, IDK, because the lawyer killings are fiction.

JULIUS wants to pursue police brutality cases and DIANE wants to drop them because “it’s worth every fucking irritation in the world!!!” to sit with the Big Six? What kind of opposite land is this where the Trump voter wants to hold the police accountable and the Hillary voter who gives no fucks is obsessed with status? (I don’t think it’s out of character for Diane to consider trading her values for status. I just think it’s weird that right now Diane is concerned with status, and also that she’s literally screaming at Julius about this.)

ALSO WHERE IS LIZ?

Lucca and Colin are in court with Judge Friend (hello!) and Colin tries to move the trial out by four months, to the week Lucca’s due in May.

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE WRITERS, DID YOU NAME THE EPISODES AFTER REAL-TIME DATES JUST TO DRIVE ME MAD? Lucca and Colin hooked up after the Rindell case (202), but that was five months ago, even though it was the 415th day of the Trump administration and this is the 443rd day. And the 443rd day is in April, but May is four months away. Writers. If the dates aren’t going to have any bearing on the timeline of the show, maybe pick a different gimmick? Plus, it’s fucking annoying to memorize numbers.

Lucca and Colin fight in an elevator about the timing. Colin is more than a little annoyed that Lucca seems to be expecting him to ignore her pregnancy. While I agree that Lucca is expecting everyone to just ignore it, I feel like maybe if Colin wants Lucca to be more open with him, he should be supportive of her and her decisions and not incessantly propose to her (when it should be obvious to anyone who has ever met Lucca she would not want that) slash lash out against her in court.

Apparently Colin knows—or Lucca believes he does—that Maia would be the one to try the case if Lucca couldn’t. Why would Colin know that? And again, why would this fall on Maia?

Marissa hatches a plan because she believes Franz has ulterior motives. In a cafeteria, she chats with his assistant. His very chatty assistant. Turns out he wants the business of the police.

Case stuff happens. The jury is totally captivated by Television Personality Adrian Boseman, and the judge isn’t having it and tries to tell Adrian not to play to the jury. Diane objects and asks what, specifically, Adrian is doing wrong, and for the judge to rule on her objection.

“To quote a lawyer that I respected, ‘I want a ruling that I can appeal,’” Diane explains. Awwww, it’s a Will reference! (Will says this in W116, to Judge Lessner). IMO, these small, subtle references to Will are meant to show that Diane’s thinking about her former partner. And how could she not be thinking about him each time another lawyer is murdered?

Diane did not witness Will asking for a ruling he could appeal, so I imagine he must have told her the story at some point. Since there’s already a scene in W116 where Will recaps his case to Diane (he’s talking about auditioning for Bishop and groveling), it’s so easy to picture a conversation between them about this moment.

Back at Fancy Cheesecake Factory, Adrian and Diane fuck shit up by announcing that Franz is trying to land the business of the police (and that’s the only reason he invited RBL to the meetings in the first place). When the lawyers start arguing over one another, Diane and Adrian, satisfied with the mess they’ve made, leave. Hehe.

Lucca and Colin haven’t settled on a court date, so Lucca decides to tell Judge Friend that she’s pregnant and Colin’s the father. I don’t have much to say but it’s a really fun scene.

Colin shows up at Lucca’s office and explains his motivations. He didn’t want Lucca off the case: he wanted Lucca to be able to relax and not be stressed about the case! “This was for your benefit!” he says. “Oh my God. I didn’t think this could get any worse, but here we go,” Lucca responds accurately.

Colin is concerned Lucca might miscarry if she’s stressed. He asks if he can be even a little concerned, and she says that he can’t. Especially not if he’s going to express his concern that way!! Lucca also says she regrets having sex with Colin, and Colin’s all “I didn’t regret it.” Sigh. Lucca’s turned him down so many times. If there’s a way to win Lucca over—and there might not be!—this is definitely NOT it.

Anyway, Colin has info to help in the Peeper case. Which means that more case stuff happens and RBL wins.

Adrian calls Marissa (at work) to thank her for finding dirt on Franz. And to give her a 10% raise. “This is the first raise I’ve ever gotten,” she replies. “First of many, I’m sure,” he says. Aww. I like what they’re doing with Marissa and Adrian this year. It’s clear she respects him, and also clear that he’s recognizing her work when she does a good job (also clear is the fact she is doing a good job).

Adrian goes back on Cable News and finds out that J.D. (the young black man) is no longer on the panel.

On the panel, Asshole Panelist starts crying reverse racism. Adrian decides to burn all bridges with the show and its inanity, and he tries to stir shit up by getting the white panelists to say the n-word. Heh. Diane watches the clip (with a glass of wine and, likely, some drugs) at her desk and laughs.

Then she swivels around in her chair and hallucinates the Trump Mask People fucking. She laughs even harder. How many scenes of Diane laughing loudly is too many? I don’t think there could ever be too many scenes of Diane laughing.

I love Adrian not giving a fuck about what the host of the show has to say. He tells him off and then the ep ends with Adrian looking at himself in the mirror. This is a much better Adrian-centric episode than last week’s effort.  

[hellyeahomeland]

HIDE YOUR DOGS. LOCK YOUR DOORS: In which Sara and Ashley finally recount what happened during last year’s finale

[Alternate title: GMTA.]

[Ashley and I have alluded to our whirlwind of a day during last year’s finale many times on various podcasts but we’ve never actually talked about what went on. Since we’re now a full season later, and once again watching the finale together, we thought we’d chat about that crazy night, and how we’re attempting to prevent another disaster from occurring this year (at least as far as we can control). --Sara]

Ashley: Okay, hello to my friend who is sitting 18 inches away from me.

Sara: oh hi!

Sara: i feel like we should be sitting on opposite sides of each other so you can't read what i am writing

Ashly: would you like a glass of wine or is it too early?

Sara: mm it's almost 4

Ashley: ok brb afk

Sara: what is afk

Sara: ty for getting me wine

Ashley: cheers!

Sara: Cheers!! 🙄

Sara: I meant that to be a 😘

Sara: they are just next to each other on my most used emojis

Ashley: i have not received an eyeroll emoji in a really long time

Ashley: times have changed

Sara: they sho have

Ashley speaking of times changing

Sara: and SHO

Ashley: you are very funny sara

Sara: ikr

Ashley: ya

Ashley: anyhoozles

Sara: i'm glad that word has caught on

Ashley: yeah with me

Sara: me too!

Ashley: ANY

Ashley: HOOZLES

Sara: ANYHOOZLES

Sara: today is the day of the finale, which you forgot about

Sara: and i want to talk about what we were doing LAST year for the finale

Ashley: we are coming atcha from across my friend’s kitchen table

Sara: this is a story we tried to tell on the podcast like 4 separate times

Ashley: last year for the finale was so good

Ashley: i know you think it was a disaster but it was a REALLY FUN DAY

Sara: that weekend started out kinda shitty though

Ashley: omg

Ashley: because my flight got canceled

Sara: remember your flight got canceled

Sara: JINX

Ashley: yep

Sara: it was v stressful but you ended up making it to chicago

Ashley: the weather had been horrific in boston all weekend, so flights were impossible. i ended up flying to indianapolis.

Sara: for some reason i had not internalized that you were vegan-ish then so i got like cheese and crackers for some reason idk

Sara: so much has changed in the past year

Ashley: did you? you got me cinnamon sugar pita chips from trader joes.

Sara: yes i did

Sara: later we got chicago vodka

Ashley: we did!

Ashley: but i think we did that on saturday

Sara: and remember you saw someone in trader joe's that was a friend of a friend? that was freaky

Ashley: yeah and i only knew him because i was wearing a t-shirt for the crossfit my friend owned

Ashley: and he was all, “do you know the lady who owns it?"

Ashley: no, dumbass, i just bought this random-ass shirt

Sara: in hindsight that was probably the beginning of your long con to make me believe this person existed

Ashley: anyway we got vodka

Ashley: and wine

Ashley: hahahaha

Ashley: i talked to her on the phone last night and you HEARD ME, i ignored you for 45 minutes because i am a good hostess

Ashley: i left you to the dogs

Ashley: do you think people are going to really want to read this sara

Sara: ok but saturday was brunch and hamilton and you went to take a nap but ended up sleeping the rest of the night

Ashley: i did!

Sara: SUNDAY

Sara: ok on sunday

Sara: finale day

Sara: LAST YEAR'S FINALE DAY

Ashley: we went to a white sox game

Ashley: and they lost

Sara: yes that was fun as fuck

Ashley: and we drank alcoholic root beer

Sara: that was delicious!

Ashley: which was the beginning of a D E S C E N T

Sara: yes

Ashley: your phone is buzzing

Sara: it was really hot that day too

Ashley: do you want to check it

Sara: i just did it's ok

Ashley: it was! was i wearing a hot pink running skirt?

Sara: idr

Sara: i have a pic from that day

Ashley: me too but it’s just our faces

Ashley: i was wearing a white sox shirt

Ashley: and we went to navy pier

Ashley: and rode the ferris wheel

Sara: look how long my hair is! look how red yours is

Sara: we went to navy pier and the ferris wheel on saturday

Ashley: oh i forgot i had that necklace

Ashley: REMEMBER HOW RED MY HAIR WAS IN THE SUN????

Sara: SUNDAY we went to two separate locations to buy a tv

Ashley: oh was that saturday?? yeah that makes sense.

Ashley: right, we had to buy a tv.

Sara: for anyone still reading this

Ashley: because the tv in our airbnb was not HDMI equipped

Sara: the airbnb where we were staying did not have HDMI hook-ups

Ashley: i was like “we can watch on my computer” and you were like

Sara: so we couldn't hook up a roku

Ashley: IT IS THE FINALE

Sara: yes, i don't play around with that shit

Ashley: you brought your apple tv too

Sara: we went to target first

Ashley: we were both prepared

Ashley: we just wanted to buy the shitty roku that has the AV cables but technology has advanced

Sara: and were like "do you have a roku that just hooks up with the red/yellow/white cables"

Sara: and the guy said they did but he was mistaken

Ashley: okay really we are the same person so like

Ashley: we’re just typing the same things

Sara: we're both telling the same story

Sara: ok i will finish

Sara: the story

Ashley: i know but we do this all the time

Ashley: SARA BOUGHT A WHOLE TV

Sara: we do remember when we both had the same question about why you would still PMS after you had a hysterectomy

Ashley: AND IT LIVED IN HER CAR UNTIL SHE MOVED TO NEW YORK

Sara: true story

Sara: I BOUGHT THE FUCKING TV

Ashley: that wasn’t the question

Sara: we went to best buy

Ashley: the question was where the eggs would go if you still had your ovaries but no uterus

Sara: oh yeah

Sara: i had to ask my mom

Ashley: shouts out to our friend who recently got de-utez

Ashley: ed

Ashley: de-utezed

Sara: the answer by the way

Sara: is that the eggs are just re-absorbed into your body

Sara: the human body is so silly!

Sara: BACK TO OUR STORY

Ashley: that entire quote is sara’s mom

Ashley: she was like “i don’t ask what makes my car work"

Sara: no my mom said the human body is amazing

Sara: and i said the human body is silly

Sara: OK BACK TO OUR STORY FOR REAL

Ashley: there is a dog outside

Ashley: the dogs inside are going crazy

Sara: much barks

Ashley: woofs!

Sara: dogs is going crazy*

Ashley: yes thank you

Ashley: BACK TO OUR STORY

Sara: so we get to best buy

Ashley: sara bought a tv and we had to uber it 12 minutes back to the apartment

Sara: and i ask the best buy man which of the TVs have HDMI hook-ups

Sara: and he's like "um all of them it's the year 2017"

Sara: and i said "ok i need to buy the cheapest tv because i really only want to watch one thing on it"

Sara: so i bought a tv

Sara: it was like $100

Sara: i intended to return it

Sara: but that did not happen

Ashley: i think it was $132

Sara: shit that's expensive

Sara: i'm so ridiculous

Sara: 132 american dollars to watch that shit ass finale

Ashley: i wonder if the best buy man’s ears are ringing

Sara: i'm sure he's reading this

Ashley: hi best buy man

Sara: anyway we uber'd back to the airbnb to drop the tv off

Sara: then went to the white sox game where they lost

Sara: THEN we went to the liquor store

Sara: to buy liquor

Sara: bc after 2 drinks at the baseball game that seemed like a good idea

Ashley: no we just went back to trader joe's

Sara: [we just had a verbal argument about whether we got the liquor at a liquor store or trader joe's]

Sara: [ashley was right]

Ashley: [ashley is often right]

Ashley: we also bought wine from walgreens

Sara: which is what i remembered as a liquor store

Sara: we bought cupcake wine in honor of carrie mathison

Sara: and some red bull

Sara: for red bull and vodka

Ashley: oh god the red bull

Ashley: because as you know ashley is sleepy

Sara: that was the first (AND LAST) time i ever had red bull + vodka

Sara: we pre-gamed with the red bull/vodka

Sara: by the time the episode had started we were drinking the pinot grigio

Ashley: and we got a bottle of whispering angel which i am also drinking tonight

Sara: ew

Sara: i can't drink that anymore

Sara: blech

Ashley: but i only have a little bit left

Ashley: i bought better wine for later

Ashley: remember? you were there.

Sara: ya i was there we got octopus wine too

Sara: AND PRETZELS

Ashley: how stoked were you when the OA said her fave food was pretzels

Sara: 

Ashley: and wtf kind of question is that to ask a woman who has been subsisting on fucking nutrition pellets for however long

Sara: i didn't feel like i drank that much

Sara: during last year's finale

Sara: but we somehow drank the entire bottle of pinot grigio despite me feeling like i had at most 1 glass

Ashley: wait am i going to have to tell the whole story of all of my adventures that night or can we skip it

Sara: you have to tell it but we're not there yet

Ashley: shit

Ashley: ok

Sara: i remember watching that godawful finale next to you so distinctly

Sara: like... i don't really allow talking during homeland unless i initiate it

Ashley: and you broke all your rules

Sara: yes, that's what i'm getting at

Ashley: well not the phone one

Ashley: gmta

Sara: when they showed quinn being shot i was like "holy shit. they killed him"

Sara: and you punched me

Ashley: and i was like

Ashley: NO THEY DIDN'T

Sara: ya you never believed he was dead

Sara: like

Sara: ever

Ashley: the past year has been remarkably similar

Sara: lol right??

Ashley: oh god that fucking finale

Sara: while i believed from the very second 100% he was dead

Ashley: as soon as it was over we decided to record a podcast

Ashley: but we were not allowed to release it

Ashley: and sara has deleted it

Ashley: sorry guys

Ashley: she failed you

Sara: i don't remember anything from the second half of watching that episode though

Sara: i also don't remember what we talked about on the podcast

Sara: it was SUPER drunken

Ashley: well we were so drunk

Sara: ya and i checked whatsapp

Sara: and it was in a full scale panic

Sara: and i just went to bed

Ashley: you went to bed pretty much right after the finale and i went into the bedroom to check in with everybody

Sara: i was like peace out homies

Ashley: and everybody was sad so i was like “i’m not doing this"

Ashley: sigh

Ashley: okay sara went to sleep

Ashley: and ashley, for once, did not.

Sara: at like 10 so right after the drunk podcast was finished

Ashley: i went and committed a crime

Ashley: the end.

Sara: that's a great teaser

Sara: COME ON you love to tell this story

Sara: it's really funny

Ashley: dude i don’t know if i’m allowed to publicly tell it though

Ashley: i almost broke up a relationship

Sara: use code words

Sara: or euphemisms

Ashley: okay so after the episode i really wanted to talk about ANYTHING other than homeland

Sara: [typing]

Ashley: dude stop it i’m telling it

Sara: i was typing to jordan not you

Ashley: HI JORDAN

Ashley: anyway i couldn’t really handle the whatsapp chat because everybody was sad

Ashley: and i was in denial. nothing has changed.

Ashley: sara just interrupted me to verbally spoil me about the homeland finale

Ashley: “I DIDN’T SPOIL YOU, FUCKING SHOWTIME TWITTER DID” - sara

Ashley: who is not obeying her own rules

Ashley: anyway i have a friend who watches homeland, and in fact got me into homeland, but he is what some might call a “casual viewer"

Ashley: he is usually 1-2 weeks behind

Ashley: that’s not really a problem anymore now that i have ALL YOU GUYS

Ashley: but i decided that i wanted to talk to him. also, he lives in chicago. this is pertinent information.

Ashley: so i tried to call him.

Ashley: no answer.

Ashley: i tried to call him like 50 more times.

Ashley: no answer.

Ashley: i sent a bunch of texts. NO ANSWER.

Ashley: finally i just decided to go over to his house.

Ashley: which was probably a ten minute walk from our airbnb, but i took an uber.

Ashley: and i got there and i rang his buzzer.

Ashley: no answer.

Sara: you also made friends with your uber driver who called YOU like 50 times over the next month

Ashley: i rang his buzzer again. NO ANSWER.

Ashley: i did. drunk ashley is retiring after the episode tonight.

Ashley: at least until season 8.

Sara: what? --me before you sent that last message

Sara: oh ok. --me after you sent that last message

Ashley: there were some people out walking their dogs, so i petted them.

Ashley: and eventually i just followed somebody who lived in the building into the building.

Sara: that's not suspicious at all

Ashley: walked up to his apartment

Ashley: and knocked

Ashley: NO ANSWER

Ashley: knocked a few more times

Ashley: NO ANSWER

Ashley: decided, in my infinite drunkness, to try the doorknob.

Sara: the thing that opens doors

Ashley: just fyi you guys, if you have a friend like me, you might want to lock your doors.

Ashley: because i walked into his pitch-black apartment at like 11:30 at night, because he is a grown adult and he had to get up in the morning.

Ashley: and ultimately walked into his bedroom and was like DUDE.

Sara: HIDE YOUR DOGS

Sara: LOCK YOUR DOORS

Ashley: and he woke up and was like

Ashley: i’m trying to figure out how best to describe his reaction

Ashley: he opened his eyes and was like, “oh, hi.”

Ashley: that’s it that’s all that happened

Sara: if you walked into my apartment in the middle of the night without warning i'd believe first that you were a ghost

Sara: a very lifelike one

Ashley: i spent two hours in his apartment in the middle of the night complaining about how carlos sanchez was going by his original first name, ‘yolmer'

Ashley: and apparently i told him straight up that quinn died

Sara: LOL

Sara: at the yolmer part

Ashley: he complained about some things of his own

ara: what kinds of things did he complain about

Ashley: surprisingly, not about the fact that i showed up at his apartment in the middle of the night.

Ashley: we had lunch a day or two later and i was like “what the fuck is wrong with you and how are we still friends,” and he was like

Sara: good friend

Ashley: “well i went back to sleep afterward and it’s not like you ransacked the place"

Ashley: anyway, this year i do not have anybody’s house to break into

Ashley: because i am already in the only  house i’d be able to break into easily

Sara: our tv has an hdmi cable

Sara: we have TWO DOGS

Ashley: TWO

Sara: one who is basically the dog version of me

Ashley: we are going to snuggle with both of them

Sara: the other who is a giant disaster

Ashley: don’t say what you’re typing

Ashley: oh

Ashley: never mind yes that is accurate

Ashley: i thought you were going to say that the other one reminds you of me

Sara: no

Ashley: but i can at least keep my tongue in my mouth

Sara: i've never met any human who is like the other dog

Sara: she is the happiest, most insane, most ridiculous dog ever

Sara: and we need to tire her out

Sara: before 9pm

Ashley: to be fair, i’ve met some insane and ridiculous humans.

Sara: same

Sara: but she is HAPPY

Sara: "her is a happy dog," as you would say

Ashley: yeah, and her crazy is nothing that can’t be dealt with by throwing a ball around the yard

Ashley: although her feets does get muddy

Ashley: anyway we have wine

Ashley: and only wine

Sara: i have pretzels

Ashley: and baked goods!

Sara: and bagels

Sara: this year, the key to not repeating last year is to eat something

Ashley: i have cookies shaped like unicorns and dogs and a few that are shaped like unicorn dogs

Sara: and also not be near houses you could easily break into

Ashley: didn’t we eat last year??

Sara: no

Sara: that was the problem

Sara: we ate some at the baseball game

Sara: but not for like 8 hours after that

Sara: despite the fact we continued to imbibe

Ashley: so i will blame it on the alcohol

Sara: i was feeling chill about the episode

Sara: until i just saw that time jump tweet

Sara: we should go play with the dogs now

Ashley: do you think you will stay up until 9:30pm

Ashley: or 10:30pm

Ashley: rather

Sara: yes

Ashley: i forgot what time zone we are in

Ashley: i also forgot the finale was on tonight

Sara: that happened

Ashley: what would you do if i was like “i’m gonna go take a nap"

Sara: i would say ok

Sara: go take a nap

Sara: you must be tired from driving literally all over boston and cambridge

Ashley: say what you mean

Ashley: “you must be tired from thinking you knew where you were going"

Ashley: “and then getting lost"

Ashley: “in the place where you live"

Ashley: “multiple times"

Sara: "getting lost all over boston and cambridge even though you have lived here your whole entire life except for a summer when you lived in canada"

Ashley: BULLSHIT i didn’t grow up in boston/cambridge, i grew up in the suburbs

Sara: "turn right then immediately turn left"

Sara: is basically google maps in cambridge

Ashley: also i didn’t tell you that i got a little bit lost on the way to the market after brunch, but i got there without any help.

Sara: HAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Sara: you handled it like a pro

Sara: i had no idea

Sara: i think because we were listening to a v funny recording of you reading fic dramatically

Ashley: to be fair though

Ashley: i didn’t JUST drive around cambridge and boston all day

Ashley: i ALSO went to CrossFit

Ashley: omg yes

Sara: this is so long we should wrap up

Ashley: and that’s when i forgot the finale was tonight

Ashley: because i attempted to schedule a personal training session for tomorrow morning

Sara: ok on my Things Carrie Wore This Week posts i always end with "IN CONCLUSION: _____"

Sara: so how would you CONCLUDE this conversation

Ashley: IN CONCLUSION what did YOU do this morning that was so strenuous

Sara: IN CONCLUSION NOTHING BUT I AM ALSO NOT ABOUT TO GO TAKE A NAP

Ashley: IN CONCLUSION I’m not either but I also wasn’t going to, I just wanted to know how you’d respond.

Sara: IN CONCLUSION: single-use TV, breaking and entering, DOGS, ashley take a nap what else is new

Ashley: IN CONCLUSION: why is almost all of that ashley stuff

Sara: single-use TV is mine

Sara: and DOGS is both

Ashley: IN CONCLUSION no charges were pressed

Ashley: Enjoy the show

Ashley: THE END

Sara: IN CONCLUSION

Sara: the goddamn

Sara: worst

Sara: $132

Sara: i ever spent

Sara: THE END

Sara: .

Sara: go take a nap

Ashley: I’m not tired I was just wondering

Ashley: GOODBYE EVERYBODY

Ashley: WE ARE GOING TO TALK IN OUR VOICES NOW

Sara: auf wiedersehen!

[neechoudai]

All of the questions for the end of the year meme, all of them.

(Heck thank u anon)

1. First things first, did you have a good year?

It’s been a year, but in the end so much good stuff happened that it’s hard to say it wasn’t a good year. Despite some of the rough current events, personally I’ve had a good year both in terms of fun stuff and in growth as a person!

2. How old did you turn this year?

22! *i am tackled by taylor swift’s legal team*

3. Do you feel your age?

Oh, hell no! I am absolutely younger than 22 what is going on I’m still a kiddo help

4. Did your appearance change in anyway?

I don’t think so. I’ve been wearing a bit more makeup occasionally, though!

5. Post your favorite selfie.

Gotta be the one I took in my first homemade cosplay with Creep-P, one of the songwriters of the song I cosplayed and all around cool dude! It just meant everything to me. And he’s the one who asked for a selfie first! Y’all have probably heard the tales already but Castle Point was the highest of high points.

6. If you traveled, where did you go?

Nowhere super far. Castle Point, a Renaissance Fair, and a few times to New York City! It was my first time staying in the city and it was very fun!

7. Which fashion trends did you love?

I don’t really follow fashion trends much, so I’m not sure. Wait, do onesies count? Or the continuing increase of foxes in fashion?

8. Which fashion trends did you hate?

Once again, can’t think of anything, really.

9. What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible?

Once again. This dress is absolutely my proudest achievement. (This is the only full pic I can find from this year)

Hmm… If the Karma Rin cosplay doesn’t count… I’m getting some nice dresses for Belated Christmas! Some Spirited Away and the official Symmetra dress :D

I also love my suspender skirt and my Sailor Moon dress… Too much to really show a picture of.

10. What song sums up this year for you?

Would You Rather, by Crusher-P! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtF0Jwf5vqQ

I’ve done a lot of healing and growing this year, and I’m trying my best to be my own best friend instead of my worst enemy! And, I’m always getting one step closer to being who I want to be!

11. What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then?

The RWBY Volume 4 Soundtrack!! And special mention to Circus-P’s 715

12. What was your favorite movie of the year?

New movie? Wonder, Wonder Woman, and Captain Underpants are all great. In general? Always gotta be Spirited Away. And I got to see them all in theaters this year!

13. Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?

Hm… The RWBY voice actors kind of sparked my interest lately, though not for the first time. Same with the Aqours (Love Live) girls! I can’t think of many more.

14. Favorite new TV show?

I don’t have cable, and forget to stream things. I watched the new Bill Nye show (is that 2017? i dont even know anymore) and I’ve heard a lot of good things about shows with good autistic representation! I just haven’t done the tv thing in a while, or have been watching older things.

15. Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears?

Not new, but I’m now a lot more passionate about BumbleBY in RWBY! I kinda have the same ships and things as last year tho. Special interest life.

16. What food did you try for the first time?

I got to try kitsune udon!!! I loved it! Also dangos.

17. Did you make any big permanent changes this year?

I started taking anxiety medication! I’m not sure how permanent it is, but it’s going great and I am so proud of myself for taking that step.

18. What was one nice thing you did for someone else?

I adopted a kouhai! She’s a freshman. I met her at an open house before she was actually going to my college, I introduced myself and complimented her Sailor Moon backpack, and I told her about Castle Point! Now she’s my kouhai. I’ve been introducing her to a lot of cool things and I’ve become a mom friend kinda!

19. What was one nice thing you did for yourself?

I started taking steps to improve my mental health! And I bought some bath bombs. And a lot of amazon stuff.

20. Did you develop a new obsession?

When do I not develop new obsessions, is the question. Overwatch is probably the main one. I loved watching it, but now I can play and I love it!

21. Did you vote?

I was really busy with back-to-back classes that day, and too anxious to try, unfortunately. But I learned more about different ways to be engaged in causes I care about! I helped my class with a campaign to get a bill passed, and it was successful!!

22. Did you move?

To and from college.

23. Did you get a job?

I had a job! Work study in the library has worked perfectly, and they let me have more hours over the summer until July. Then I let myself have a break. I also have my social work field placement, which is great even if I don’t get paid!

24. Did you get a pet?

I got some plushies! But no, my mom would scream if we had another pet. Puss stresses her out.

25. Do you regret not doing anything?

I try not to regret things. There’s nothing I can do about the past. So while I constantly regret, I try and move past it instead of focusing on it.

26. Do you regret doing something?

See above.

27. Have you done anything that scared you?

Taking that step to start anxiety medication! And then telling mom!

28. Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?

Not that I can think of right now.

29. Did you lose anyone close to you?

Don’t think so, but I feel like I’ve lost contact with some people. Probably because they’re busy (BACK ANXIETY DEMON BACK)

30. Did you fall in love?

Not really, except I keep having platonic squishes on people who are already my friends! I love my friends so much more every day.

31. Did you fall out of love?

*laughing intensely* can’t fall out of what you were never in!

32. Did you start a new relationship?

I made some new friends!

33. Did you go through a break up?

With who? My invisible boyfriend Len Kagamine from high school? Again, can’t break something that never existed.

34. Did you have to cut ties to someone?

No. Thank goodness.

35. Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year?

All of my friends are important to me and have been and always become more important with time! I don’t really like calling people out. And I think it’s probably hella hurtful to say someone wasn’t important. So even if I could think of someone, I don’t think I’d answer

36. Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year?

See the second part of the above answer.

37. If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it?

Nothing that I can think of. Everything happens for a reason, and it doesn’t do well to overthink the past.

38. What was the best moment of the year for you?

Castle Point!!! I could gush forever lol

39. What was the worst?

Other than Current Events, there was a certain few days when something really really painful from my past came up in a really big and scary way. I don’t like going into specifics, but it blew over and I hope it doesn’t come back.

40. Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t?

Hm. I don’t know. Kind of taking anxiety meds, since it’s working but it’s not a magic anxiety poof pill?

41. Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did?

Strangely enough, the anxiety meds again. I didn’t think there would be any change, but whenever I look back, I keep seeing new ways it’s improved my mental state! I’m becoming more responsible for myself, less quick to go into anxiety spirals, and just slowly improving. I don’t know what I expected, but it’s a happy medium between changing my mind but taking it slow.

42. What are you most proud of accomplishing?

Getting started on meds, meeting some of the people I admire and starting to be less of the type to put them on pedestals, and meeting an internet friend irl for the first time!! (well, planned for the first time.)

43. What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior?

I am more empathetic than I realized, and that’s one of my biggest strengths.

44. Did your opinion of anyone change for the better?

I don’t know. Probably?

45. Did your opinion of anyone change for worse?

Not really. Except some of the gross things that happened with famous people. But nobody I actually know.

46. If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?

I don’t really make resolutions, but I wanted to improve myself aand I think I did well!

47. If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year?

To continue to improve myself! To get a bit tidier on my own terms. And to become more independent and confident! And to talk to more people again without letting my brain get the better of me and tell me they don’t really want to talk.

Also to go to the mall alone for the first time. ^.^;

48. If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do?  Who would you go this?

With the one day. I have. More like Nine Hours. I don’t know? But if I had more time and unlimited possibilities and funds, I would love to take a trip to visit all of my friends!

49. What do you wish for others for the coming year?

I wish that the world is kinder. I wish that even if things don’t become perfect, that you continue to get closer and closer to where you need to be. I wish that you can start to love yourself even more in the coming year.

50. What do you wish for yourself?

I wish that I can continue to improve my mental state and start to talk to others more often again. And that I survive graduation wwwww holy heck how am I graduating college.

And I wish that my anxiety continues to lessen so I can have more enjoyment in life.