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seenoversundown · 1 month

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For Death Or Glory : Chapter Fifteen

Jake Kiszka x Charlotte (Fem OC)

Warnings: 18+ Smut (I'll put the gentle stuff first so if you want to skip the smut warnings you can but also please read them if you're worried! Viewer discretion is always advised! 💕) Flirting, Suggestive Language, Sexual Tension runs DEEP, Alcohol/Drinking, sending risque photos / sexting essentially, smoking, & Jake our sweet baby boy being nervous as fuck.

*smut time* including: (oral f/m receiving, mild hand kinks insinuated, fingers in places, fairly rough SEX, literally all our dreams are being insinuated in here folks.)

Word Count: 5k !!

Summary: After using the utmost will power Jake has the night before, Charlotte truly tests his ability to resist his urges the next day while he's working. And well, you can imagine how far he makes it.

Author's Note: THE CANDLE IS AFLAME. LETS GOOOOO!!! I can't wait for you guys to read this one and I especially can't wait to hear your feelings about it! You've been patient with me and I made sure that it was well worth the wait. Enjoy the ride babes! 😘💕

Tear You Apart - She wants Revenge "I want to hold you close, soft breath, beating heart, As I whisper in your ear. "I want to fucking tear you apart."

Nothing in the last eighteen hours has felt real. We laid there talking about whatever came to mind for a while, but she stayed pressed against me the whole time. Alternating between holding my hand or drawing little shapes on my chest as she told me stories.

Getting to wake up with her curled up in my arms, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t just pretend to sleep for a few minutes just to enjoy the way she played with my hair and kissed my face until I finally “woke up.” Staying in bed until Josh left the apartment so we didn’t sell ourselves out. Just quietly talking and sharing lazy kisses for a while, I felt like I was still dreaming.

Coming back into the room, she was wrapped up in one of my shirts, just sitting on my bed and scrolling on her phone.

“I didn’t know friends with benefits meant you stealing my clothes,” I tease.

Her smile is contagious, “what do you think the benefits part means?”

“Oh, is that right?” I ask in a taunting tone as I start getting dressed. Watching her pout as I button my pants, “What’s that for?”

She climbs off the bed quickly, sliding her hands around my waist, “Can you just not look at me when I say this?” The question laced with her giggles.

“Oh, don’t be shy now,” I laugh.

“You’re just sooo..” she quietly but quickly spits out.

My eyebrow raises as she avoids finishing the sentence. Reaching back to grab a shirt from my closet, she’s still clung to me.

She finally squeaks out, “sexy.” Immediately tucking her face into me, I wrap my arms around her as I laugh. She thinks I’m—?

“If I didn’t have to be in the bar, trust me— I wouldn’t ruin your fun.”

She leans back, moving her hands to the same place on my stomach, slowly letting them creep up to my chest, “Starting my day off with a little torture?”

You have no idea.

“I haven’t forgotten about that promise,” I mumble to her. Watching her eyes light up, I tell her, “I’ll make it up to you, but I do need to work for a little bit.”

“Better be good if you’re making me wait even longer.” She taunts.

“Oh, I think you’ll agree it was worth the wait,” I tell her before whispering, “But you have to let go of me if you ever want to find out.” Leaning forward to press my forehead against hers, trying to not laugh at the pout on her face.

“I’m not done yet,” she groans, letting herself fall into me and chuckling to myself as she dramatically goes limp in my arms. We stood there like that for a few minutes; she kept leaving little kisses all over my chest, which further convinced me that I deserved an award for self-control.

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After what felt like the longest goodbye, I have never wanted to not be in my bar more than I do today. Time feels like it’s crawling by as I stand here talking to customers at the bar. I’m nodding along to whatever they tell me as Josh mingles amongst the rest of the room. I see my phone light up out of the corner of my eye.

Charlotte: Hi

Me: hello there

Well, at least she can keep me company now. I pour a fresh beer and slide it to the man sitting across from me. I carefully tap on my phone, ..she already replied.

Charlotte: I have a problem..

Me: oh? What’s that?

Charlotte: Can’t stop thinking about how lol good you looked this morning 🤭

I can feel the heat rush to my face; what is she trying to do right now? I stare straight up at the ceiling for a second before replying.

Me: and how can I help you with that?

Charlotte: [sends photo in invisible ink]

Charlotte: I don’t know Jacob, how can you?

I lock my phone faster than the speed of light. I close my eyes, biting the inside of my mouth. I can’t look at that out here. I make eye contact with Josh from across the room, gesturing to the bathroom as he nods quickly.

I may as well have run into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I open her texts, slowly swiping away the invisible ink. There sits a photo of her legs crossed, stretched out in front of her, with dark red lace hugging her hips. Fuck me. Willing away the thoughts racing in my mind, I finally reply.

Me: holy shit- I wish I was there.

After a moment of silence and a handful of deep breaths, I make my way back out to the bar. How am I supposed to do this and not be obvious about it?

Charlotte: Oh, you do?

Me: You have no idea.

I’d do anything to be there, Jesus Christ. I ring up a handful of tabs, sliding the receipts and their cards back to them as they head out and new customers take their places at the bar.

I feel my phone vibrate as I’m taking someone’s order, turning to make it and setting my phone in front of me.

Charlotte: What would you do if you were here?

I about drop the bottle I’m holding when I read it. God, I don’t even know what I’d do. It’s been so long since I’ve done anything with a girl I’d probably panic.

Me: oh honey I wish I could tell you

Sliding their drink to them and grabbing a few empty glasses, anything to fight the demons away at this point. I pull my hair up into a low bun, trying to relieve myself of some of the heat coming off of me.

“Warm?” Josh asks as he’s dropping off a handful of cans and glasses.

Nodding quickly, “Yeah, I don’t know why.” I laugh for a second, definitely not because she’s tormenting me through text or anything.

“You can go outside for a minute if you want; I got it.”

“I may just take you up on that.” ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Throwing my phone in my pocket, I grab a cigarette from my office before hustling out back. The crisp, almost winter air hit me, instantly sending a chill through me. I lit the cigarette, only taking one drag from it before pulling my phone out.

Charlotte: tell me Jacob

My hands shake as I go to reply, whether it’s nerves or the cold, who knows? I fumble around, trying to convince myself to just say it to her.

Me: god I just want to taste you

Was that dumb? I don’t know what else to say. I wish I could just BE THERE. Taking another slow drag, I watch the little typing bubble pop up.

Charlotte: [sends photo]

“Fucking hell,” I breathe out.

My head drops back the moment it shows up. Her torso, the dark red lace, so gently cupped her. The glimmer of her nipple piercings caught the light as they’ peaked against the lace on them. She’s beautiful. The way I can see how her body curves and how soft her skin is.

Charlotte: does that mean you’re a ‘ladies first’ kind of man?

Me: first and second, if that’s okay with you

Charlotte: omg jacob?

Charlotte: that’s so hot

My stomach turns with every text; I’m so nervous. She just can’t know about it. The thought of going down on her plagues my mind. The sounds she’d make, the way she’d taste.

Me: i’m sorry you look so fucking good

Me: how am I supposed to just stand behind the bar now?

Taking the last few drags and putting it out, I head back inside. I sipped on the drink I have in my office, and then grab a mint before plopping down in my chair for a minute.

Charlotte: that’s how I felt this morning

Charlotte: you’ve been on my mind all day baby

‘Baby’ plays in my head from the other day. I can feel the blood rushing away from my brain with every flirty text she sends.

Me: what have you been thinking about?

I almost instantly regret asking because I know that the answer is going to be painful. Opening my email and scrolling through it for a moment before her name popped up in my notifications.

Charlotte: How I wish you didn’t need to work today

Charlotte: Just stayed in your bed all day with your hands all over me

Me: yeah? You want that?

You’re at work, you’re at work, you’re at work. The sigh that falls out of me as I fight off every shiver that goes through my body because of her. Finally, getting up and going back out to the bar, letting Josh go hide for a few minutes.

I take a chance to go wander around the tables and booths, talking to some of the regulars who were hidden amongst the crowd. I feel my phone vibrate against my thigh, but I try to ignore it while I get a few drink orders. I grab a few empty cans on my way back to the bar, tossing them into their bin before sliding my phone back out under the bar.

Charlotte: mhmm. Your hands or your mouth, whichever you’d prefer.

Charlotte: Just want you to touch me.

Me: god you’re killing me

Pouring the drinks, but Josh sneaks over to grab them before I can.

“How was your break?” I ask quietly.

“Lovely,” He nods slightly, “How’s your night going?” His eyes dart to my phone and back at me. The warmth spreads through me again, and I just clear my throat quietly.

He grabs my arm before quietly spitting out, “Oh, my sweet little brother, I’m not blind. You’ve been obsessively checking it; what is she saying to you?”

I can’t help but laugh, “I don’t think you want to hear it.” Raising my eyebrows as we look at each other, his grin grows across his face.

“Oh! Well, in that case, there’s a can of WD-40 in the back if you need to loosen up those joints before you see her,” he winks as he tells me, backing away with the drinks, and I flip him off carefully before I point to the table they’re supposed to be going to.

Charlotte: I just know you’d take such good care of me

Me: whatever you wanted

Charlotte: [sends photo]

A small groan escapes as I look at her. In my shirt, she’s peeking over her shoulder into the mirror. She’s definitely holding it up slightly because she’s sat on the counter, her ass perfectly outlined by that god-forsaken lace again. My cock twitches the longer I stare at her.

Me: for me?

My mouth goes dry at the thought of seeing her like that in person; the realization that it could happen was hitting me. I look at the time, 11:58 pm, before locking my phone and tossing it back under the bar.

“You can go if you want,” I tell Josh, leaning into him.

He scans the room, “Are you positive?” A fair amount of the booths and tables have cleared out at this point and there are just a few stragglers aside from the actual bar.

“Very. I can handle the rest of the night. Get out of here while it’s still early..ish,” I tell him, grabbing his shoulder with a light squeeze.

“I will not argue that,” he mutters, “if I’m asleep, love you and goodnight.” He pats my arm a few times as he walks past me.

Charlotte: just you baby 🤭

Me: wish i could kiss you right now

Charlotte: I wish you could do more than that

Me: don’t think I’d be able to control myself

Not a lie. I don’t think I’ve ever felt tension like this in my life. The fact I’m stuck here feels like low-grade torture. I grab a towel and some spray, making my rounds throughout the tables. I try to get some of the cleaning done, hoping it’ll help distract me a little.

My phone vibrates against my leg, and my heart drops, knowing it’s her.

Charlotte: [sends photo]

“Fuck me,” I quietly mutter to myself. She’s sat on her floor, her hands pulling some of my shirt in between her legs, but not enough to fully hide her lingerie. Her hair was messy and draped over her shoulders. A glorious shot of her tits, so gently pressed into each other. The desperate need to kiss my way up her legs grows stronger as I stare at them.

Me: Charlotte.

I wipe the table in front of me slowly so I can give myself a second to chill out before having to turn around.

Charlotte: yes, Jacob?

My self-control is on the floor at this point.

Me: come here

Charlotte: really?

Me: yes please come here.

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The moment she walked in, it made the last thirty minutes feel like they hadn’t even happened. She finds her usual seat at the bar, letting a smile sneak onto her face when she gets comfortable.

Why am I nervous now?

Bringing over her drink, it’s hard not to notice what she’s wearing. She knows what she’s doing. As I slide it across the bar, I realize that she left the bulk of the shirt unbuttoned and just tucked into her pants carefully.

“Hi,” she squeaks out, timidly grabbing the glass in front of her. Watching how the glass sits on her lip when she drinks, the movement of her throat when she swallows. I hadn’t thought of what I was doing when I told her to come here. This is worse.

“Hi,” I manage to get out, “you look .. nice.” My eyes trailed down her body, trying not to make it too obvious to anybody else, but the moment I noticed that I could see the same bra she had on in the pictures she sent me, my heart stopped. She must have caught me because she leaned forward in her seat a little, making the shirt shift so I had an even clearer shot of it.

I slowly blink as my head shakes, taking a subtle deep breath because I still have forty-five minutes before I can kick everybody out.

“What’s wrong?” she asks coyly.

“I think you know.” Backing away to make sure everybody else at the bar is good, I feel like I have to manually move my eyes away from her. Why didn’t I tell her to get here later? I have to act normal and I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that right now.

Thankfully, for me, around 1:30 am is when most people start to head out, so I spend a few minutes grabbing the tabs for people, taking care of those while I feel her eyes on me the entire time. The customers next to her also want to head out, so I bring over their receipt, leaning into the bar a bit purposefully, letting my shirt fall open a little more where I know she can see it. I glance over at her with my eyebrow cocked as I see her eyes shoot up to meet mine.

“I saw that,” I mumble to her.

The corners of her lips curling up slightly, she whispers back, “Good.”

As time crept by, I wonder to myself why I thought having her here would be the better option. We’ve been having staring contests the entire time, not even saying anything to each other, just from across the bar.

There’s only a few stragglers lingering, so I do one more lap around the tables, making sure to grab anything that was left. But, the moment she’s in my peripheral vision again, my self-control lowers more.

Strolling up behind her, fighting the urge to wrap my arms around her, I rest my hand on the base of her neck.

“You doing okay?” I ask, my hand squeezing the back of her neck gently.

Her head turned a little to try and look at me, “I could be better.” The smile on her face was making me sweat.

“Give me like ten minutes,” I lean in close to her ear, “I’ll make sure of it.” ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Following the last customers to the door, I flip off the signs as they make their way out. My heart is pounding as I turn the locks over on the doors. The sudden realization that we’re fully alone washes over me, but the need to feel her touch overrides it.

I turn around to look at her, and she’s already walking over to me. I quickly meet her halfway, my hands pulling her face to me, the desperate need to feel her lips on mine finally relieved as the kiss goes on. Her hands pull on my shirt like she can’t get close enough. Leaning down, I grab the backs of her knees, lifting her up, and her legs wrap around me, never detaching from the kiss. Her hands slide up into my hair as she smiles against my lips.

Walking her back over, I set her on the bar top, my hands on either side of her. Kissing the side of her neck, I can see her breathing getting heavier. Fiddling with the buttons on my shirt, exposing her. The dark red lace against her pale complexion, holy shit, only looking at her for a moment before trailing kisses down her sternum. My hands find their place around her waist, hovering my mouth over her, looking up at her; she’s intently watching me, letting out a tiny whimper.

“Please, Jacob,” she breathes out.

My mouth connects with her instantly; her moan rings through my ears. I slide my hand up, gently pulling the lace away from her, and goosebumps slowly creep in. Letting my thumb graze over her peaked nipple, I press a kiss to her other breast.

Her thighs tense up with every time I swirl my tongue around her. Moving my hands and spreading her thighs so I can stand between them, pulling her to the edge of the bar. She unbuttons her pants, pushing them down, and lifting herself enough to slide them to her thighs for me.

“Well, aren’t you an eager little thing?” I mumble, pulling them off her. “Lay back for me, honey?” She practically fell to her elbows, her eyes locked on me.

Pressing wet kisses down her stomach but stopped as soon as I hit the dainty lace. The nerves of touching her for the first time hit; don’t fuck this up. I run my hands down her thighs, pushing them further apart before teasingly leaving little kisses closer and closer to where she really wants me to be.

“Is this okay?” Looking up at her from between her legs. She lets out a breathy ‘yes’; her eyes look desperate for some sort of touch. I plant a kiss over her covered clit, getting the most delicious moan out of her. I can’t resist from pulling the fabric to the side. She’s soaked already.

One slow lick up her center, and she already dropped her head back. Smiling as I swirl my tongue around her clit, lightly sucking, doing anything to keep the noises coming out of her. She’s so quiet typically, I would have never expected her to be so vocal, but I’m not complaining.

“Oh my god, Jake,” she moans. The sound of my name falling from her lips has me groaning into her. She tastes so sweet; I can’t get enough of her. You would think I was starving with the way my mouth couldn’t stop. Glancing up at her as my tongue laps around her clit, her eyes meeting mine as she lets out another delicious moan. I tease her with my middle finger, just barely touching her, and she jumps at the feeling.

“Please,” she whines, still looking down at me.

“Oh, you want this?” I ask, sliding my middle finger into her and slowly pumping my hand into her, watching her mouth fall open. The wetter she gets, the faster I go. Trying to find just the right spot, needing to make her feel good. Pressing up so slightly as I pull back. The way her mouth opens more; that’s it, sweet girl.

“Oh- oh my god,” she moans out, “more, please. Please, baby.” The name makes my heart flutter and my dick twitch; my ring finger joins in, watching her eyes roll back and pressing up into that special place that makes her want to scream. I pump my fingers into her, listening to her pretty moans as she keeps grabbing the edges of the bar like they’re her lifeline.

“Oh, is that good?”

A slew of ‘oh my gods’ and ‘holy shit’ come from her as I start to play with her clit with my other hand. Rubbing little circles to drive her mad, watching her writhe with pleasure, her back arching off the bar. Fuck me.

“Come for me, honey.”

I can feel her about to break, dipping my head down and swirling around her quickly with my tongue. Her hands tangled themselves in my hair, holding me there. Groaning into her at the feeling and lifting her leg so I can wrap my arm around her, the back of her knee lands over my shoulder as I’m pulling her into me.

“Oh- baby, don’t stop, please, please- oh, oh my GOD,” her volume increases as her orgasm hits her, and she’s pulling my hair as she’s practically riding my face. My name has never sounded better than the way she’s yelling it.

She sits up after a minute, pulling my face to hers and planting a kiss on me.

“Where did you- how- um, so .. yeah, how did you?” She stumbles over her words, and without stopping, she’s unbuttoning my shirt. I laugh as she’s trying to form a coherent thought.

“I told you it would be worth it,” I whisper into her ear, placing a kiss just below it. “But, I‘m not done with you yet,” comes out of me, in almost a growl. Who am I?

Helping her off the bar, she grabs my arms, turning us around and pushing me back into it. Her hands work my belt and button in my jeans as fast as they can as she’s trailing kisses down my neck. Her hand dipping into my boxers; I let out a groan when she wraps her hand around me.

“I need you,” slips out of me as she strokes a few times. She presses her lips to mine, mumbling in between kisses, “Please, fuck me, Jacob.” I can’t stop the moan that comes out after that.

“I don’t have a-,“ I start to whisper when she cuts me off quickly.

“That's okay,” she tells me, kissing underneath my jaw. I grab her arms, already missing the feeling of her hand on me. Walking her backwards, our heated kisses made it hard to walk straight. I slide the shirt off of her and toss it onto a barstool. Reaching a table, I spin her around so her back is against my chest, my hands snaking around her small frame. I reach up, softly rubbing small circles over her nipples until her head falls back onto me.

My right hand crept up, sliding it up her throat until I was holding her jaw. Her mouth opens slightly at the feeling; taking the risk, I lightly rest my finger on her lip. Unprepared for her to immediately tilt her head back up, wrapping her lips around it.

“Fuck,” I mumble under my breath. “Can you bend over for me, honey?” Her tongue swirls around it before She leans forward onto the table, pushing her ass into me.

She knows what she’s doing. My hands slide over her. I squat down for just a second, spreading her open and licking a wide stripe up her. I saw the goosebumps on her skin as I kiss her before standing up.

I slide my boxers down far enough for my cock to be free, the relief from being out alone. I pull the lace to the side again, lining myself up with her. Slowly pushing into her, she lets out a loud moan. God, she feels good. I let myself bottom out in her, giving her a second before I move. And myself, to be honest.

“Baaaby,” she lets out. I hold her hips as I start to pull back, slowly thrusting into her. My own moans start falling out as our pace picks up. Looking down as I push into her, my mouth hangs open; the feeling is surreal.

“Feel good?”

She lets out a small ‘yes’ while she arches her back more. The sounds of my hips slapping against her, the way I can feel how wet she is, the feeling as she’s pushing back against my thrusts to feel as full as she can.

“Holy shit, Charlotte.”

She looks back at me through her eyelashes and, with the sweetest voice, tells me, “harder.”

My heart pounds at her words. Without hesitation, I step my left foot up onto the booth, gripping her waist, and start snapping my hips as hard as I can into her. I bite the inside of my lip as her moans get louder while I keep hitting the right spot over and over. Fuck, she feels so good. Watching how she stretches her arms in front of her, her knuckles white with how hard she’s holding her own hand.

I bend down, hovering my lips over her ear when I whisper, “I know you have one more for me, honey.” Her moan was enough of a response for me. My necklace barely grazed the skin between her shoulder blades, and I watched the goosebumps flood her skin. I press a kiss against that same spot before standing back up. I grab her arms, pulling her up so her back is pressed against me. My hand dipped in between her legs, finding her clit that was just screaming for my attention. My fingers quickly start working at it, as her chest is heaving at this point, and I can feel her orgasm about to break. Both of us breathe heavily as she tilts her head back, and I sneak a kiss on her neck, letting out a small ‘mmm’ against her skin.

“Jacob, baby,” she moans.

“Tell me,” I groaned back to her.

“I’m gonna-“ is all she gets out before her jaw goes slack and her eyes are fixed shut.

“Let it out,” I whisper as I pound into her. She's moaning loudly in my ear, pulling my hand away when she starts to get too sensitive. I slow my hips down so she can recover, watching the soft smile settle on her lips. She pulls my arms around her, leaning her head back against me until she shifts slightly, and we both remember that I’m still buried inside her.

“Hun, I’m not gonna last much longer,” I tell her quietly before I press a kiss to her temple. She taps my hip a few times so I’d back up. She drops down and just, with no thought, slides my cock into her mouth. Swirling her tongue around it as she bobs her head up and down the length of it. Using her hands on whatever she can’t comfortably do with her mouth. And god, is she good at it.

The thought of her doing this after she just came on me inches me closer. I glance down to see her looking back up at me, and the visual alone has me two seconds away from finishing.

“I’m so close, don’t stop,” it’s my turn to whimper. She pushes it further into her mouth, she swallows around me and I’m done for. One of my hands found its place on the back of her head, fighting the urge to thrust into her.

“Fuck, Charlotte—“ Practically yelling her name as I release into her throat, her hands working me through it. Swallowing as she stands up, she presses a gentle kiss on my lips. I can’t believe that just happened.

“Well, um,” I mumble, breathing heavily and wrapping my arms around her, “that was..”

“So fucking good.” She giggles, tucking her face into me, mumbling, “You’re so hot.”

My face feels warm when she says it; she thought it was that good? We stand there for a few minutes, just laughing, as she’s curled up in my arms.

“Wanna just sleep here?”

“Only if you’ll carry me up the stairs,” she says with a little smirk, her hands pressed against my chest, “I don’t think my legs could do it right now.”

“You’re gonna give me a complex,” I laugh, kissing her forehead, “get dressed real quick.” ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

After pretending to be Prince Charming and carrying her up the two flights of stairs, we both immediately crawl into bed. She makes herself comfortable, tugging my arm over her so she can back herself into me and wiggling her ass against my dick.

“Hey now,” I mumble, “don’t start something you’re not gonna finish.”

Her soft laughs fill the room, “Who said I wouldn’t finish it?”

“Charlotte.”

“What, baby?” Her voice taunts me as she slides her hand into mine and arching her back a little. My entire body feels like it’s full of butterflies.

My face tucked into her, I quietly laughed while pressing kisses to the top of her shoulder. If she keeps calling me that, I don’t know how I’m going to ever say no to her. I kiss the side of her neck, pulling her body tight against mine before whispering into her ear, “You’re gonna have to stay quiet this time. Can you do that for me, honey?”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Sixteen

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iwtvdramacd18 · 7 months

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Well y'all know I have to do it. Louis T4T fic reclist

for @iwtvfanevents A meal 2 remember event! I'm picking one to highlight per person here but everything is HIGHLY recommended and many folks here have multiple T4T and trans hits as well as collabs!. (And I'm not telling you who, you better give them a click through)

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I am amazed by peace–@dictee

This was a holiday surprise so desperately needed. There's an intimacy to every description here, I think of some deep conveying of wanting... wanted to be wanted and wanting to want in turn, and the joy of knowing you can be! And you can have that. One of those fics that feels like a film in your head. Whenever this updates my day stops so I can enjoy it.

try to swallow the wave– @diasdelfuego

Mindblowing use of prose, bringing disconnect and identity to the forefront. Mixing heartbreaking emotion and unexpected elation. I can't believe you first published this anonymously because I was lamenting the fact I couldn't give the author flowers... AND NOW I CAN. Brought a tear to my eye when I first read it. I get chills just thinking about reading it again.

Snow in the Champagne– @nakiaslilhoodoo

There is something masterful about taking these bigger than life characters and bringing them to a very relatable, intimately mundane level, the ability to take these "smaller" moments and give them weight and heat and humor. Grounding in small objects, rituals of love, that's the type of stuff I love.

cleave/tie– @kittyldpdl

What an emotional ride. Can you just call a fic "fleshy" and leave it like that? Carnality and horror, this is something I want to talk about at length but can't for hear of spoiling the experience. I live for the levels of trans parenthood on display as well. Scars in fiction that make you slam your phone down and shout NO WAYYYYY.

Allude me, Pursue me, Consume me.– @salmoncakepls

Angela Carter is nodding along to this.... LOVE the fairy tale trappings and the bleeding of human into animal and past the two thresholds. Incredible imagery that sticks to the mind, once again trans parenthood let's make it crazy let's make it insane. Ending chapter had me holding my breath.

perpetuum mobile– @knifeeater

I wanna pretend like I have something indepth to say about this. I really do. Because the depth is there. Thinking about vampirism in the far flung future, vampire bodies like orbiting planets and satellites. But also. This is just really fucking hot WE FUCKING? IN THE FAR OFF FUTURE????

breath, held– @enterprisery

Love the exploration of brief returns to humanity in an erotic sense, vampiric play with the vulnerability of mortality? The focus on sensation (and brief letting go of it), the communication and heat behind it, love to see Loumand getting down in this way.

Once Upon a Wine-Dark Sea– @weather-mood

Recommending the entire series because like many worthwhile many-chaptered many forked stories there's a lot of context to be taken in (and by all means you should take it in, the whole is recommended), Charybdis is chiefly what puts this in this list specifically, and ofc I must point to Tidelines, ongoing; another fairy tale/ mythic epic.

And here are some rapid-fire fic recs featuring trans Louis:

rhododendron– @blueiight (MY BELOVED...)

in a lonely place–@devotiondroid (FINE you're the final nail selling me on danlou noir....)

Charred–@blacclotusss (ANOTHER HOLIDAY BANGER)

Pleas on Deaf Ears–@ bloodiedroses (WHEW)

#a meal to remember #others fic #fic recs #reclist

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polyamorouspunk · 1 month

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what’s it like going to a punk/metal show? I’ve always wanted to go to one but i live way too rural for there to be any nearby

Hmm, okay.

For me, personally, I always feel like I don’t belong there. But at the same time it feels like home.

And that goes for almost any show no matter the size.

There are exceptions! I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way at an INK show, and I didn’t feel that way going to see them with Metallica. There were people of all ages and race etc. at Metallica, from downright conservatives to queer as fuck folks.

Looking around at Beartooth I had a hard time not comparing myself to others. I wasn’t traditionally pretty like the skinny white sorority looking girls. I didn’t feel like I looked “hardcore” enough. I didn’t feel like I looked queer enough. But at the end of the day you’re in a stadium full of other people who get you in some way or another.

I’ve never been to a show where I didn’t end up talking to someone. I’ve always been able to make conversation with those around me with ease. It’s an ease that is different than talking to people in public. Maybe more similar to if you went to a convention and there are a ton of people in costumes and you’re able to just walk up to them and tell them you like their cosplay. Or you’re standing at a booth and a group of friends is fawning over a button pin or a sticker the artist is selling and you chime in and agree it’s super cute and you were thinking of getting it yourself. Small talk like that.

Smaller scene shows can be hard to break into and feel comfortable talking to people like that if everyone knows each other and you don’t know any of them. It’s a lot easier if THEY come to you.

Going to a show, by the time the opening acts are through, your hearing is fucked up, and you’re hearing everything as if you’re underwater. If you know the songs you can pick them out and sing along, but if you don’t, you’re not picking up on much because it all just sounds like noise soup.

Every once in a while you have to stop what you’re doing (filming, vibing, drinking, smoking, etc.) to help crowd surf someone. Sometimes you’re helping the same person crowd surf like 8 times.

I’ve never seen anyone say that someone was too big to crowd surf. Big tiddy goth girls? They crowd surfing.

You have to be okay with other people touching you. You have to be okay with getting grabbed, getting pushed, getting shoved, getting hands laid on you, etc. and you have to not freak out about it.

It becomes VERY easy to get separated from people you’re with, but everyone around you is cool, so it’s fine.

I saw a fight break out at Beartooth RIGHT inbetween my best friend and I, and we were on opposite sides, and it was enough Caleb stopped the show, and they cussed each other out, and then made up and hugged it out after. You have to learn to not be afraid of these people, even if they are people you would never associate with otherwise.

Of course shit happens. People get drunk, people get high, etc. and a lot of times if something happens you hear about it after the fact, but I haven’t had that happen honestly.

You get this sort of anxiety beforehand, waiting in line. No matter what I feel like I always have anxiety at shows. It goes away and gets replaced by this euphoric high though that a few days later leaves you deprived of that chemical and you FEEL a depression. Post-concert blues is a REAL fucking thing. It’s very hard to go back to your “normal” life after an amazing night. Truly “I shouldn’t be here, I should be at a concert right now”.

Trash everywhere.

Smaller shows are personal enough you can just hang out and talk to artists. A lot of them are just people with regular day jobs who do this on the side. Slightly larger bands might do music as a full time gig but work their own merch table and stuff so you can go talk to them. You can pretty easily find them outside the venue and just sit down and hang out with them. I ran into Remington Leith of Palaye Royale the first Warped tour I ever went to and I walked around with him a bit. I found Tallah outside the venue when I went the other week and just sat with them while I scrolled through tumblr and listened to them talk to each other and occasionally chimed in and talked to them. Alex said she liked my homemade Tallah shirt. They were looking at a weird bug. I asked about it. Shit like that.

When I went to see Beartooth I could see Caleb side stage and I excitedly pointed him out to my best friend and she was like idk who that is and I said he was the lead singer of Beartooth and I had to mime that I had a crush on him. Embarrassing shit.

The singers will talk to the audience on stage. Sometimes they ramble on, sometimes they perform bits, like comedy. Caleb was talking about how he’d played the venue we saw them in more times than any other venue.

Moshing starts off strong and then dies down quickly a lot. A singer will fire up the crowd and it does not last. People are tired.

Costumes? A lot of costumes. Both the bands and the fans.

Sometimes the merch line is worth it, sometimes it is not.

I personally never get food or drink at concerts. I also don’t wear hearing protection. I really, really should. But I don’t. There is nothing unsexy about hearing protection.

Someone’s head is always in the way and when it’a not it’s truly a magical moment blessed from the gods.

You may get stuff thrown at or dumped on you. It happens. Once again you just gotta be cool with it.

If you don’t want to be in the pit everyone just kind of shuffles away and if you do you gotta push through and be like “LET ME IN”. 90% of people there do not want to be in the mosh pit. We are old and decrepit. Also that much attention on me would make me anxious.

Every band is just a group of Some Guys™️ truly. Just some fucking dudes. Sometimes there are girls and they are hot. Hi Alex from Tallah.

Lead singers love to climb things. Guitarists love to spin in circles. Drummers like to go hard for drum solos and they’re right and they should s(pl)ay it.

Local shows you’ll probably end up knowing some people by sight at least if not by name if you go more than once. So far people have come up to me and introduced themselves so I know some faces. It’s hard to not have imposter syndrome about it, at least for me. It’s hard not to feel transient or like you don’t belong when everyone knows each other and has history and talks about “hey were you there when-” “YEAH I WAS” and you don’t see any of these people ever. They’ll include you as best as they can but it can still be kind of isolating.

I’m sure if you’re already a pillar in your scene, then it’s truly a life style. Drinking, smoking, hosting shows in your bedroom, going to other shows in other people’s bedrooms and living rooms, house parties ever weekend or shows at the local venue where you know everyone that works there. Shit like that.

This has been a mix of my experiences the last few shows I’ve been to, which in order, has been Tallah, Beartooth, Metallica, and then just a house party with DJs.

#punk gets mail #long post #metal shows #personal

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alexjcrowley · 2 years

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Hi, it's me, the author of the fucked everything au post, this one

I wanted to add some things, feel free to make your additions

-Sherlock is a firm believer in the Doctor, but he think Crowley is the Doctor, just disguised. He tried to nonchilantly pull his "red wig" from his head. (He has never run into the Doctor for some reason)

-Morpheus and Crowley talk shit about Lucifer when they're drunk.

-Watson and Wilson have a bet on whose partner will break the most law in a week. They're always very close wins.

-Dirk Gently and Aziraphale have become great friends, they take tea together every Thursday and they talk about all sort of stuff. Aziraphale finds Dirk captivating in his weirdness, he thinks he is a very interesting human.

-Scooby Doo is afraid of Dog (Adam's dog)

-Gregory House thinks paralibulites is made up, he steals a couple of Todd's pills to analyse them and see if they're like allucinogens but they're not. He forms an alliance with Sherlock to find out what the fuck is there in those pills.

-James Bond can imitate Benoit perfectly but Benoit can't imitate James, he can't get rid of the accent. Q finds James's impressions very amusing.

-Aziraphale and Philip talks about sweet recipes, they also exchange culinary creations, but, while Philip actually makes them, Aziraphale miracles them because he is shit at cooking. Philip always tells him that he is such a great baker and he feels like a beginner compared to him, Aziraphale smiles patting his arm and saying practice makes perfect. When Philip starts asking for details on how to make the perfect sponge cake or a mousse that won't melt, Aziraphale just miracles someone calling him because oh boy he doesn't know the first thing Philip is talking about.

-Both Sherlock and House tried to get Shaggy to sell them marijuana, unsuccessfully.

-Crowley loves to hear House going on and on about how God doesn't exist. It's hilarious for him. He has to physically stop himself from laughing. He pretends to agree with him.

-Dirk is the only one not fazed about Scooby Doo being a talking dog. When Crowley and Aziraphale are weirded out. They're trying to remember if it's one of their old miracles.

-Ascots were invented by Crowley, because they're simply an insult to style, and also he knew Aziraphale would have loved them. He is proud to see Benoit and Fred wearing them, they release a small but effective amount of evil into the world.

-I saw a post on Tumblr, I don't remember by who, that said if Benoit Blanc is with Hugh Grant it means at some point he had to choose between him and Colin Firth, you know, like in Bridget Jones Diary. This is now canon for me. Philip won Benoit Blanc's heart over Colin Firth and Philip hates talking about Colin, the idea that he could lose Benoit over him is just terrible to remember. Also Colin isn't really called Colin his name is Harry Bright. You were fools if you thought I'd leave Mamma Mia out of this.

-Dirk has heard Matthew the raven talk and Scooby Doo talk and now he is convinced he can talk to animals, that's a skill the universe granted him.

-Benoit Blanc and Aziraphale talk about fashion, obviously.

-If Q and Newton Pulsifer ever met all the computers in the world would explode.

-Also here's a small fic I read some time ago that I really love (and it's a House/Good Omens crossover) on how House and Wilson are alive and well in this au

-Dirk actually somewhat counts amongst the supernatural individuals so Crowley and Aziraphale and Dream and Hob started inviting him and Todd to their dinners. The point is Dirk and Todd haven't understood Ineffable Husbands and Dremling are supernatural individuals yet and they just think they're very eccentric folks.

-Dirk stole Crowley's Bentley once because The UniverseTM and Crowley has been trying to kill him ever since, but the Universe won't let Dirk die. This does not interfer with the Supernatural Dinners Aziraphale insists on hosting and the angel made him promise he won't try to kill Dirk at their house.

-He tries not show, but Sherlock is feeling the competitions with all of these other private detectives showing up. Especially Dirk, because he has no idea how they guy does since he looks like an idiot but he is always on top of the cases.

-Aziraphale unsuccessfully tries to buy the old medicine book Wilson gifted house for Christmas.

-Lestrade tried to stop the Scooby Doo Gang from interfering with a police case but ended up talking about cars with Fred and just...forgot he was supposed to stop these guys. He opted for closing an eye. It wasn't even his division, anyway.

-Q and Mycroft have been trying for years to obtain information on Hob Gadling, Aziraphale, Crowley and Morpheus at MI6 because, like, they're weird. They all come from families in which people always had roughly the same name for some reasons, their documents seem legit but there's something wrong about them. Also why is Crowley financing a witch hunting agency. Like yes he looks weird but not let's hunt witches in 2022 weird.

Dirk: "Your name is Sherlock? I have a friend named Sherlock!"

Sherlock: "It's not a very common name."

Dirk: "His name is Sherlock Hobbs."

Sherlock: "...Interesting."

Todd: "So you're like...you're Sherlock...and Watson."

Watson: "There are our names, yes."

Todd: "But, like, just like... Sherlock and Watson?"

Watson: "Yes. Again, these are our names."

-Benoit and Philip are very proud of Fred, they're only worried about his well being always travelling and having to deal with bad guys (especially Philip, he's scared for his son🥺), but luckily Q installed a tracking device in the Mystery Machine

-Sherlock is secretly fond of Steve McQueen the rat and will go to House's house (my God what did I write) just to pet it. House allows it.

-Sometimes Sherlock and House play together, violion and piano. They found out they have more in common than they'd like to admit and that they enjoy eachothers company, even if they'll never say it out loud.

-(btw I think it was @thesaltofcarthage to headcanon that House is Sherlock's biological father and yes it's far fetched but also I am not opposed to this at all, I like it a lot, I vibe with it so I leave this here and give her the due credits).

-The Them ask Morpheus if he is a new Horseman of the Apocalypse. Morpheus simply smiles at them and then tells Adam "My sister likes you" before going his way.

-Aziraphale dislikes Mycroft a lot because may I remind you Mark Gatiss played one of the two Nazis in the church who played Aziraphale for a fool with the book deal. The rest you know yada yada yada Crowley comes to the rescue.

-House often dreams of Fiddler's Green since he is played by Stephen Fry and he and Hugh Laurie are very close friends.

-I like to think Shaggy actually is an failed attempt at an Antichrist that didn't work out and yes he is...someway Lucifer's son. And kind of Adam's brother. But he doesn't know. Also Scooby Doo is an infernal hound like of course. And Shaggy wished for Scooby Doo to be his best friend and like food and be as scared as him of horror stuff so there you have it.

-Aziraphale knows Wilson. He knew John Keating, great professor, and he went to visit him at Welton Academy once. He remember Wilson when he was young, talentex actor, shame he went for medicine in the end, he could really have a future in the arts. Wilson tells himself his mind is playing tricks on him, the weird man he saw with Mr Keating once must be dead at this time.

Last thing I wanna add I didn't expect this whole everything-I've-ever-watched-au to resonate with people and I am happy you like it, I have fun writing but it's even better to share it with someone, please keep adding ideas and crossovers to this. All the comments and reblogs I had under my last posts were brilliant and all together we make a big brain of mind-blowing ideas.

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dee-the-red-witch · 9 months

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New month AND year, so new pinned.

Hi. I'm Dee.

I'm a forty-something queer poly trans woman, artist, writer, leatherworker, self-tattooist, mom, and at least a few other titles I'm forgetting or deliberately leaving out. I'm Not Your Responsible Adult, I fully believe in sex and kink positivity and reblog as such. If you need to censor your own experience for whatever reason, don't follow me, because I'm not about to do it for you.

You can find the majority of my work here, but let me highlight a few things, like all the leatherwork and physical stuff.

As I said, I also tattoo- you'll see a fair amount of the background work for that on here as I'm still working up a bunch of flash both to practice some severely rusty drawing skills and to expand a library of flash ideas for potential folks in the future.

And yes, I also wrote a book and created a tarot deck that go hand in hand. You can pick up either or both here.

If you want to support me, there's the P, the K, or even just direct donation. Or any of the links above. Or there's even the merch site, or my wishlist.

That covers the majority of stuff, and to answer a few specifics...

No, I don't sell 'content', but I absolutely support those who do, and so should you. Yes, there's a discord. yes, you have to ask directly for it.

Yes at least half the rumors you've heard are true. So are some of the outright lies.

Yes I still do record voice requests, even scripted bits. No, you may not call me mommy. 39 left, 22 right, 10 left. Terfs, swerfs, conservatives and other fash can fuck directly off. Tipping should be mandatory, wear a fucking helmet, landlords suck, do make it weird, do not make it creepy, do make it terrifying. Questions? Feel free.

#monthly pinned #I'd apologize for the text wall but we know I'm never sorry

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splatsvilles-fashionista · 8 months

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Off-topic weekend: My top five games of 2023!

Hey folks! How's Splatfest going? I've had mixed success so far, winning two 10x battles but losing a 100x, which evens out, right?

But let's not focus on that, this is the off-topic post of the month, after all. In 2023 I played an unusual amount of brand-new games, and I like talking about the stuff I like, so let's real quick go over my favourite games of the year, in order!

Starting with:

5. Wildfrost

Wildfrost is a roguelike deckbuilder about disparate tribes banding together to fight off a supernatural, eternal snowstorm. Over the course of three areas and many battles you assemble a deck of allies and items, augment them with upgrades, and face off against a whole slew of unique and challenging boss battles. The thing I wanna highlight about this game is just how gorgeous the presentation is. All the character designs are delightful, and the way everything bobs and shakes as you pick cards to play or reposition feels just right. The soundtrack is also a complete slam dunk, using a ton of traditional instruments to help sell the vibes, whether they're cosy like in your hubtown or intense like the battle themes. If you like games like Slay the Spire or Monster Train then this is definitively a game for you.

4. Cocoon

Cocoon is a puzzle game about exploring alien landscapes with tools that are also full-on worlds in themselves. As a little... alien? Moth? Robot? As a little guy, you're tasked with solving a wide variety of puzzles by using differently colored orbs that, when placed on certain pedestals in the environment, opens up portals to entire new realms. Nestling realities within other realities and traveling between them soon becomes a core facet of your problem-solving, and the beauty of Cocoon is that its puzzles thread this extremely thin line where the solution is neither too hard or easy, but will always be very satisfying and frequently mindblowing in the way it makes you bend reality(or realities as the case may be) to your whims. Cocoon is lean, slim, and polished, and likely won't last you more than ten hours, but those ten hours will leave you feeling a smart and satisfied in a way you've never experienced before.

3. Remnant II

In 2019, Remnant: From the Ashes asked a bold question: "What if Dark Souls, but guns?" The answer turned out to be that you got a fun, interesting third-person shooter with defensive play inspired by Fromsoftware's lineage of action RPGs but with a greater emphasis on co-op play and replayability, and in 2023, that game got a sequel that looked to expand on all of its predecessor's most interesting ideas. One of the most impressive things about remnant II is just how much content it has that it doesn't show you, because it's designed around the core idea that every player's first playthrough feels different and so it only shows you a sliver of its hand in every playthrough, confident in its breadth of content to such an extend that the game let's you roll an entire new randomized campaign with a single press of a button. I'll admit that out of everything on this list, Remnant II is probably the most "by-the-numbers" game on this list, in part by virtue of being the only sequel on it, but I had a blast playing this game, and if you're looking for something to play with a friend or two, then I think you will too.

2. Cassette Beasts

Cassette Beasts is a creature-collector RPG in the style of Pokémon, and I actually already wrote a whole post about Cassette Beasts earlier this year, but I want to reiterate that this game is really good. In a lot of ways, it feels like Bytten Studios, the developers of Cassette Beasts, took the formula of the DS-era Pokémon games and utterly perfected it. It's got a big open world for you to explore, deep and snappy 2v2 combat, over 120 monsters, all of which can be fused mid-combat as the ace up your sleeve. Rather than type weaknesses just increasing damage, they inflict various buffs/debuffs that add a lot of complication to battles and force you really consider your team composition. There's adjustable difficulty, including a built-in nuzlocke mode. There a bunch of cool companion characters with their own entire storylines, and most of them you can romance if you'd like. If you like Pokémon or the whole creature-collector RPG genre as a whole, then you need to play Cassette Beasts, because at the moment I really do think it's the king of the genre.

1. Lies of P

Lies of P is an action RPG of the Soulslike variety, taking a stab at replicating the formula that made Fromsoftware and their critically renowned games such a household name. I like Fromsoftware and their games lot, Bloodborne, Dark Souls 3, Sekiro, and Elden Ring are all pretty high on my list of favourite games of all time for their excellent world design, wonderful atmosphere, and captivating combat. I mention all of this so that you understand that it's a big deal when I say Lies of P is so good that it sometimes beats Fromsoftware at their own game.

It's not a game without flaws. I found the english localization to be awkward and stilted, sometimes to the point of being distracting, and its level design is very simple, especially compared to its peers. What sets Lies of P apart however is that it has the best goddamn combat in the genre. Explaining why I think that would take a lot of time, and this post is running long as is, so to keep things short the gist of it is that Lies of P manages to make your offensive and defensive tools flow into each other seamlessly, with dodges, blocks and parries allowing you to keep up the pressure even as enemies are attacking. Couple that with a ton of different weapons, all with their own special moves, most of which you can take apart and combine with other weapons, and a mechanical left arm that can be equipped with a variety of tools like a flamethrower or a grappling hook, and it results in one of the most nuanced combat systems I've ever seen.

I adore Lies of P. I bought it at the end of December, beat it once, and I am currently doing three more playthroughs with different builds, weapons, and restrictions. I've never enjoyed mastering the systems of a game as much as I have playing Lies of P, and that is ultimately why it's my favourite game of 2023.

And that's the whole list! I hope something I featured here caught your attention, and I'm very curious to know what y'all's favourite games of 2023 were, so go ahead and tell me below, if you'd like. Happy continued FrostyFesting!

#not splatoon #wildfrost #cocoon game #remnant ii #cassette beasts #lies of p

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everything-is-crab · 1 year

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:))

This is what I meant when I said both rightoids and liberals in India are equally dumb as fuck. Both are pro imperialists. She's not even lower caste and yet she's speaking on behalf of us. I have seen this trend in a lot of "anticasteist" upper caste women (who unfortunately have more voices than people like me, actually women from oppressed castes).

How are these people different from the white supremacists who say brown people are intellectually and socially inferior?

"At least the goras let us have meat" oh okay we're gonna ignore the 3 million lives lost in Bengal famine caused by Churchill's policies (after which he blamed it on us instead of his own greediness). Did he let those people eat meat then? Unhinged shit. They wouldn't let people fill their bellies cause sometimes instead of food crops they wanted our ancestors to grow cotton, indigo, spices, tea. Which also left areas prone to land disasters. Commercial stuff that they could sell at much cheaper prices in their own countries and others in the Western world as well. Also levied extremely unreasonably high taxes. Leaving us with no money. Delusional world these middle/upper class liberals live in where the British let us have meat. They didn't even let us have rice.

The British protected the caste system. Read Sharmila Rege's work about how the British introduced the process of "Brahmanisation" in colonial India.

This is the exact thing Hindu nationalists are doing rn! And have been doing forever! Protecting Western imperialists! Why do you think Modi is bootlicking the US so much? Do you think the farmers' protests and the after effects of globalization after 1991 are disconnected from Western imperialism?

Just because nationalists claim to be against white dominance doesn't mean they practice what they preach.

And this folks is why you need to incorporate class and gender in your analysis and not read about the work of only the middle class men of a community :)

Women and poor people matter too.

But unfortunately many earlier anti caste activists who were middle or upper class were anti Marxists and only later few like the Dalit Panthers and R.B More realized the importance of Marxist analysis for understanding modern caste based oppression more. Yes many Indian Marxists ignored casteism. But that does not mean we must dispose it as a useless theory.

But who tf cares about the Dalit Panthers or anyone else? Have you even heard of any other names that aren't Phule or Ambedka? Everyone followed and still follow people like Periyar, Ambedkar, Phule who were all from relatively well off family. And why will people who uncritically follow these people not think colonization was as bad? All of them attended British school and went for higher studies as well. The British was staunchly anti communist. They constantly resisted communist activists in colonial India. This is a privilege even today many people from oppressed castes cannot enjoy.

I have seen all these upper caste women, ignore people like me pointing this out. They think we're against education of oppressed castes (why would I advocate that for my own community?). But rather we take issue to these men ignoring their economic and male privilege and speaking on behalf of all of us.

A reminder that Periyar criminalized devadasis and read Ambedkar's arguments against Hindutva solutions to the Partition (hint: he cared more about the money that could be wasted in missionaries rather than the violence and human rights and unironically called Muslim people "tyrannical" and referred to "Muslim oppression" on Hindus). He was anti casteist, but he was Islamophobic.

To avoid with this kind of thinking, follow Dalit feminist theory. Dalit femininism from its inception has been pro Marxist (cause women make most of poor here). And they explain the effects of colonization on lower caste women (how the British introduced evidence act, a law that justified rape against lower caste women and let me remind you gang rape of lower caste women by upper caste men is a national issue. Ex the Manipur case, the rape of Phoolan Devi, the Hathras case etc). And how dowry (that earlier used to be a practice mainly amongst upper castes was now becoming dominant in lower castes as well due to capitalization of economy during colonial era). Maybe then you will understand why the British abolished sati but not any temple prostitution or other issues faced exclusively by women from oppressed castes. In fact they called upper caste women those who deserve to be protected but lower caste women were inherently deviant in their justification. But please go ahead and argue how imperialism brings "good things" sometimes.

Just read about caste reformation during colonial era. The choice isn't between hindutva and colonial era. The choice is between hindutva and hindutva along with colonial rule. Why do most liberals pretend the British never favored the Brahmins over everybody else?

White supremacy is so much better than Hindu supremacy for women of lower castes am I right guys?

This is so much better?

Also reminded of the "breast cloth" controversy. Do not mistake that anti caste activism is always anti caste for both Dalit men and women. Sometimes it favors Dalit men. And oppresses Dalit women further. Cause usually the colonizers never cared about oppressed castes but when they did, it was only for the men.

Ik many upper caste Marxists are not good at anti caste politics but I cannot separate Marxism from my anti caste or feminist politics. And as a Marxist from a formerly colonized country, I cannot ignore the imperial divide between the West (that is white dominated) and the global south (that includes India). You cannot separate the conditions of brown and black people today in the global south from the past dynamics of the colonizer and the colonized.

Lower caste women are obviously very poor. The poorest of all with least social protection. These upper caste women can sit on their asses and write papers and blogs on how much white supremacy was much cooler. But the ones from oppressed castes and working class? They don't have this privilege. They have the same burden of upper caste women related to marriage and domestic work and everything. But on top of that they have to do labor as well. And after globalization, when condition of "blue collar jobs" degraded (wages lowered, subsidies cut, worker protection rights gone etc) , the percentage of women in these fields increased. That's not a coincidence. Men always force women into lower earning occupations that have little job security. I am not gonna ignore this.

Fuck Hindutva. But fuck white supremacy too. For me neither is better. Both go hand in hand in fact. Look at the Hindu nationalists in France allying with white supremacists over shared conservative interests.

#Dalit femininism #india #marxist feminism

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tadpole-apocalypse · 10 months

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Brainstorming some post-game stuff. I think I have settled on Morgan and Astarion spending part of the year in the Underdark, and the rest in Baldur’s Gate.

While they’re making preparations for their first trip down there, Morgan asks Jaheira to manage the lawyers she hired to handle selling Cazador’s estate after it was gutted, since it will likely take months to do. Astarion teases her for using the famous folk hero Jaheira as her personal assistant. “Love that for you, darling!”

But this way when they come back, they’ll have a sizable amount of money to get a place settled in the upper city somewhere after it’s rebuilt.

Since Astarion is legally considered dead, all the money will go to Morgan’s account. Which she frets over but Astarion doesn’t care, even when she says they could get him a fake identity, and he’s like, no need for that, like he’s totally willing to let Morgan be his sugar mommy.

But she insists “ No! You need your own money! What if we break up?” These are all normal precautions to her.

And he’s so upset by this because it’s his first relationship and he hasn’t developed his communication for this kind of talk very well yet, and also he is not mortal and tends to think of things in terms of eternity? And is also prone to dramatics.

“Why would you break up with me? Have I wronged you in some fashion???”

“I’m just trying to look out for you-“

“By tearing my heart right out of my chest?! Use a stake next time, my sweet, it’s far less painful.”

It’s like their first real “fight” as a couple and he is so hurt until she reassures him she has no intention of leaving and that it was merely a hypothetical, and that these are normal things that happen in relationships. I think these sorts of moments will happen more as the terrifying reality of him truly being free to do what he wants starts to settle in.

#bg3: morgan #also I am not interested in a story curing his vampirism #I’m too much of a vampire freak to entertain this #maybe they can get him a ring or cloak to protect him from the sun at least

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nokingsonlyfooles · 4 months

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Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

Right off the bat, this is a self-reported survey, so when stigma goes down, the willingness to admit you use a substance goes up. It's not necessarily more people using, just more people admitting it. Who's a daily coffee-user? Wow, look at all those hands. We don't care about that, do we? You get a headache when you don't get your caffeine? Well, you're addicted, congratulations. Get your ass to rehab, which'll take about three days in your case. Then you'll get right back on that sweet bean juice, won'tcha? Typical.

But we don't care about that. You won't lose touch with reality and have caffeine psychosis! Uh. Well... That's different.

*sigh* We've known this about psychedelics for a long time and the overemphasis is really frustrating. Any medicine that can help you can also hurt you, and we sell things OTC that can do permanent damage or kill you. If you have risk factors, generally speaking, we'll tell you not to take that stuff (unless we forget) and it's your responsibility to not chug ibuprofen with a stomach ulcer, or give aspirin to a child, or take even slightly too much acetaminophen, or drink the Panera lemonade, or whatever. If you're at risk of psychosis, generally speaking, psychedelics are not for you.

But if they're not for you, you've probably figured that out, and you're not taking them every damn day! I would be much less worried about psychosis in habitual users than new users.

I'm one of these "near daily" users, so I speak from experience when I say: If you're using pot every day and you want to get high YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. I have a tolerance, and I like that just fine, because I'm using it to sleep. (It's really annoying when I get near the bottom of the tincture bottle and I hafta get up and eat a bag of Cheetos after I already brushed my damn teeth, lemme tell ya.) I have chronic pain and a lot of health issues and sleep-related trauma, and THC and CBD is the only thing I've found that will get me 7ish hours of rest without leaving me oogy all day the next day. And I have to take regular breaks because it stops working otherwise! Cannabis itself tells me when to stop taking it and I listen!

I guarantee, if you're using every day, you're either very new to it and you will eventually taper off, or you have some kind of chronic (haha) issue that marijuana addresses. Some issues can be better addressed by removing the stressors from your life, or actually treating whatever else is going on, but if that's not an option at the moment, there are much worse ways to self-medicate. I would say alcohol is one of 'em, so good for you if you dropped beer and switched to pot!

This literal weed should've been legal a long time ago. Not at the level of codeine or ketamine, just legal, but that's not on the table. We're screaming and shitting about a reclassification that won't even stop the feds from putting brown people in prison. This would be a gift to medical researchers and pharmaceutical companies if it goes through, but I don't care as much about them. I'm saving the champagne for when we stop incarcerating regular folks for needing some help to exist on this shitty planet.

#us news #marijuana #cannabis #fear-mongering #reefer madness lives #oh media when will you ever learn?

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starleska · 1 year

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I'm not gonna lie, you're really convincing me to start writing/drawing/animating Y/N x Wally Darling stuff...

You have great concepts and the simp in me is being fed and I love it AHEGAJAGAJA I just worry that there's a chance that Clown had advised against it and I've yet to see that in a post somewhere in the past. But seeing as you're enjoying writing all the Reader x Wally Darling stuff with no worries (good on you btw!), it's all okay right?

/nm /gen

hey there Laurs!! aww, thank you very much 🥰💖 i love getting messages from people inspired by my fanworks, it makes my heart all fuzzy!! just a little endless cycle of good vibes and creativity :3c now, the bulk of your ask is a tough one to answer!! i know i've posted a lot of fanworks for Welcome Home, but at the end of the day, i'm just a fan like anyone else, trying to do my best to respect Clown's wishes. honestly, given the chance i would love to talk to them and ask these specific questions that a lot of fans have been firing in my direction. i have reached out, but understand those messages have likely been drowned under thousands of others!!

so @partycoffin, on the off-chance you're reading this: i hope you're doing well, and taking care of yourself in this terrifying, exciting time!! thank you for sharing your lovely world with us - we're all just so in love with your characters and universe 🥰💖 if you'd like to talk, please feel free to reach out. it would be great to know that you're okay, and i'd be happy to field any questions you have about your bustling new fandom (who have been destroying my own notifications for the past two weeks!!). it may be presumptuous of me, but perhaps having an inside look on what questions fans have might help make this explosive growth seem a little less scary. however, there's no obligation to reply - we're thankful all the same :3c

as far as i am aware at the time of writing this post, i don't think Clown has any problems with Wally x Anon/Reader/Y/N fanworks...or at least, i haven't come across any sources stating so.

the big thing that (if i'm understanding the guidelines correctly) is that Clown doesn't want us to be putting any NSFW Welcome Home material into the main tags. we have to remember that Welcome Home has blown up very quickly, and Clown deserves a chance to breathe and adjust to all this success before laying out those boundaries (if he wishes!). that's why, although i do write NSFW for other fandoms i'm refraining from doing so for Welcome Home until stated otherwise. i can't imagine how stressful it must be dealing with so many notifications, people impersonating, trying to sell their work, exhibiting invasive and creepy behaviour...on top of the overwhelming demand for new Welcome Home stuff. i think as fans we should just vibe and play in our own little bubbles without stressing them out too much, and adjust when we receive new information. for instance, i didn't know when i made my Wally Darling edit that they were uncomfortable with non-canon art being associated with the main game. i've since reached out to see if i should take the video down with no reply, and went with the consensus of a group of fans i asked for the opinions of - to leave it up until asked otherwise. pretty much - i don't think Wally Darling x Anon fanworks contravene the guidelines that Clown has given us so far. they aren't inherently NSFW, and i'd hope that anyone who is making NSFW fanworks is tagging appropriately, as is the courteous thing to do. i'm of the opinion that fans are going to do fandom things, and there's always going to be folks making adult-oriented works, and that's okay!! but i'm also always happy to respect the wishes of the creator in terms of how they'd like that work to be tagged and presented. i think Toby Fox did it best when he first suggested the 'Undertail' tag for NSFW works - a real stroke of genius that i see lots of fandoms still using today. again, do take this with a grain of salt! i don't know Clown, and very few of us do - we're just all interpreting his words in vastly different ways, and that must be terrifying to deal with; thousands of people getting very angry or very sad because they think they can or cannot do a specific thing they never actually said. it's not anyone's fault that Welcome Home blew up so suddenly and there wasn't time for precautions to be taken, but it is the fault of those fans who are overstepping boundaries and need to re-examine their relationship to this art. it sounds like you're good to go on making those animations, and i would personally love to see them 🥰 thanks again for being so sweet about my silly headcanons!! it's honestly been quite scary adjusting to the amount of attention, but please know i'm grateful and appreciative of every ask, reply and message that comes my way 💖

#caveat: i am not an authority here - just a fan trying to do their best to be respectful! i hope this helps 💖#welcome home #welcome home arg #wally darling x reader #starleskasks #starleskatalks

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agniyagrif · 4 months

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look . Listen to me funny shape girl I came to you initially for your funny jrwi shapes but now I NEED to hear about your OCs. Do you understand I Am locked in I Am interested. Any details you have on any of them I Would love to hear about. You've lured me in with your strange shapes and captivating ideas and now I would Like to hear your Homemade Character Thoughts pretty pretty please /nf

Ah that's sweet) Ah)))

I planned to write about them something anyway BUT SINCE YOU ASKING WELL- I now just have to oooh haha)

Well ok, I have many ocs because I like different creatures i draw and i just HAVE TO give them some personality and then I don't want to just throw them away(( (unless like... I forget about them of course haha)

Recently I remembered about my old Minecraft pony ocs that i wanted to turn into humans or something and so i did it. I turned them into creatures, gave them again some personality because they didn't have much and put them at my setting Omniplan where I put most of my ocs now because this setting just build for that.

Anyway here they go

I posted them at like... Other... Site... You know. BUT HERE I CAN TALK ABOUT THEM MORE HEHE! I call them Sitcom Five because I thought they had such... Vibes. Don't know, maybe they don't actually or won't in the future but I like the name anyway)

OKAY I'm putting more info under here)))

Oh no that's a lot of text... oh no what have i doneeee...

Also cw: S E X (i just mention that it exists and that's all haha. I for some reason feel the need to say that idk... I'm- I'm stupid ok?)

So here some general info about them and maybe later I will write more) because I have more)

These five (Lutic not with them)... People, let's just say people, live together at a house near woods... 30 minutes(?) away from local town. Half of them aren't very social and all of them quite content with living away from town, just with this group. Also none of them are local. Well... They live here so they are? I mean none of them were born there, in town.

So first, Edvin. He's the owner of the house. This place used to be maybe a part of town? There are some ruins of houses around them but nobody lives there. Edvin got this house maybe from his relatives. He fixed it and since he didn't need much and house was too big to just live alone in it he decided to rent out rooms. And don't know how much time passed but Carrot, Alex and Gleam became permanent residents of the house. And recently Peter moved in.

So Edvin. He's the oldest, serious and hardworking. Used to be a sailor (because many lizard folk are sailors and well I don't have anything original for his background). He works as blacksmith in the town or take some other physical work. Sends money to the family. Ah... Old mother and his sister. (If i had nickel for every lizard man i had that sends money to his sister i would have two nickels. Idk why i don't wanna think about itANYWAY) He loves to make weapons, make them like pretty and stuff like light knives with elegant handles and engravings on blades. Some masterpiece to be proud of. But unfortunately he doesn't get such orders often. So he just works all day and then sleeps at home.

Next Carrot) She's a siren which in my setting are a kind of bird people who have wings at hands. They also stereotypically like... Hedonistic? Is it the right word? Probably not... Don't bother about stuff, live to have fun and enjoy pleasures. Cheerful, carefree, colorful birds. And well Carrot is stereotypical siren. She likes gardening and cooking. She loves to bake and sometimes sells goods in the town. She also often cooks for others in the house. Ah... She's vegetarian. She probably leaves the house during winter, flies to some warm place. She's never sad. She likes to drink sometimes, sing, dance, laugh and sleep around.

Alex is often annoyed by her.

Alex is another bird person in the house but this time he's an avian which in setting are bird people with wings on their back. His mother is avian and his father is siren. So he has some siren traits in his character. He's also my favourite eugh... He almost never leaves house by which i mean he dislikes to go to town and talk to people there. Any people other then his neighbours to which he's used to. He kinda... Ah... Selfish? A thoughtless person? By which I mean he often doesn't think about other people if they're not in front of him. He doesn't even writes to his mother although he does love her, she's a good woman. He's like... Not malicious, but yeah. Just in his own world i guess. And his world right now is this house. He's a mechanic(?) engineer (?) he likes to work on different machines. Maybe he makes some toys or fixes clocks and stuff or even repairs local robots (YEAH THERE ARE ROBOTS IN THE SETTING I KNOW I KNOW SHUT UP). He likes to do that.

Speaking of his siren ahhhh side... Well maybe it's ehhh... Presented(?) in his thoughtlessness. But it's also presented in him being fucking horny. He really annoyed by this because it results in intrusive thoughts which doesn't help with him being already quite awkward. He overthinks stuff a lot sometimes too. (I don't actually know what is cause and what is the result here so maybe I'm wrong somewhere here anyway) He tries to fight(?) it. Like he does physical exercises, focuses on work, drinks some... Stuff idk that Carrot recommends him. And he gets really annoyed at Carrot after she tells him to just relax about that. He probably also jealous of her because he also wants to just not care about that.

how dare that shithead get 2 paragraphs??? Well it's because he's my favourite anyway...

Gleam ah... She's stone demon. (Nothing religious just people with horns) :') i have very little info about her... I feel guilty. I'm sure, I'll fix it sometime later. She often is not at home but she pays and Edvin is content with that. But they end up giving her room to the new resident (Peter) because she didn't actually even used her room. So... She likes to cause chaos? Maybe she does something illegal when she's away or maybe she saves kittens(probably not). She doesn't talk about it anyway so i don't even have to think about Haha!) I'm kidding... Well yeah. Chaos. She likes to break and burn stuff and fight. That's what she does. And then she comes home and just sits as a rock (ha) while Carrot rambles and laughs about her day to her. They are girl friends) not girlfriends though( because Carrot doesn't want any commitment. But yeah they like to hang out together. Kinda fun dynamic I think) that's all about her :' | maybe she likes to bully Alex by breaking his stuff... That dynamic was in their pony versions, so...

Next Peter)))) he's bard. He has a guitar or something similar I'll think about that. He used to travel around the land before he settled here. He goes to town to play and get some money. Chill guy, kind and hard to get angry. Likes to chew grass and lay on it under warm sun. The most sociable and caring among them. Well i guess Carrot is quite sociable too... Anyway, everyone likes him just because he's so nice and chill. Just a ray of sunshine anywhere he goes. Ah... I need to say something negative about him... Or it's a boring character... Not quite negative but maybe he doesn't have any plans for the future? He doesn't have anything going on in his life right now? Maybe he's not content with his music? Like everyone likes it, it sounds nice. Nice enough to earn money. But that's all. Maybe he wants it to be more impactful, maybe it's not good enough. Or it seems to never be good enough for him. Maybe it makes him sad but he doesn't want to show it to others so he just smiles and keeps being caring ray of sunshine.

Heeeyyy... What is this depressing shit doing in my funny ocs hey... I made them to do funny loser things haha and make out. It's time to end before i care about them too much. Haha)

I had a thought to make him a pushover... Well... He's kinda? He doesn't say no a lot, when it comes to help or just some activity and he can tolerate even some quite rude behaviour towards him but it's because well he just goes with a flow, likes to help or if we talking about rudeness he used to travel a lot and well why he would start a conflict with a person if he goes away the next day? So he just became used to just be quiet and go away if he doesn't feel comfortable and then forget about this experience. But he does have some boundaries and he will tell about them if he can't leave. He can stand up for himself if he needs to. But he rather stand up for his friends thought when it comes to it.

Ok and Lutic) She's Edvin's little sister. She's a bright and kind girl. Likes flowers and cute animals and not very cute ones, like insects (it's not an animaSHUT UP OK I'M TRYING). Everyone in the house loves her like she's their own little sister and everyone behaves their best when she visits and entertain her as they can. They are so normal that Edvin is kinda surprised and frustrated about that. But it's a good thing so he can't even get mad about it. It's just funny yeah.

EGH I WANTED TO WRITE A LITTLE:'/

ANYWAY

So if you read that, the person who is reading it. You now can look at different shitty and not shitty pictures i have of them)

This is about Lutic visiting

Both birds find Peter attractive. But like also... Well Edvin said that already...

And dynamics) Girls being friends and bros being bros. Though... Now i draw and write a lot of situations with Alex being awkward dumbass. But they do hang out together. Because Alex finds Peter cool (and ghm attractive...) and also he doesn't demand from birdman any commitment as a friend and Peter is chill and likes to hang out.

I wanted to make this kind of a... Things with them for fun but couldn't find any good enough. So i have only this. Idk I googled it or found on Pinterest, I'm sorry idk

GIGGLES HAHA... WELL... IT'S FUN TO PUSH CHARACTERS ON EACH OTHER HAHA. IT'S LIKE A CLASSIC OR STH (I'm cringe.) Anyway it's not canon... Well... I just tried to write a situation but it's not quite what i wanted. HE WOULD NOT FUCKING KISS HIM LIKE THAT i know, it's canon but it's one of the Alex's modest dreams

Just a little thing

Again. Guess my favourite.

Alex probably does have a body pillow if they have them in the setting idk... He also certainly have some magazines with pretty bird ladies and big hot (beast) man. Totally reads them "for the plot and characters and like relationships and stuff" Carrot teases him about that and he HATES her for that(((

Horny birds. I sympathise with Alex but I also will call him a loser and do want to strangle him and throw into the wall.

Somehow too much gays so I'm apologising even if you probably don't care about that.

I clearly have a favourite guy and favourite relationships... Well... I'm not really a good ocs owner. I just want to draw them kissing or something and haha funny

IT ENDED I LIKED TO WRITE ABOUT THEM THANKS:)

maybe i write more if i have at least 1 picture to put above it...

#my ocs #my art #HEY THERE ARE A LOT OF WORDS I'M SORRY #but also thanks yeah

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growing-yet-into-magic · 2 years

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Hi do you have any recs from where to buy affordable tools, like essential oils , crystals and other necessary stuff (for witchcraft ofc)

Ah, cheapery. My third favorite hobby, beside spending money on things.

Firstly:

Essential oils are NOT necessary for witchcraft. They are medicine, have the potential to damage you severely (both immediately and in long-term damage), and are NOT better and more effective than just using the herbs they are manufactured from. You shouldn't be thinking about essential oils or considering them for your toolkit without herbalism education from a reputable school or licensed herbalist and paper research about each herb you use under your belt.

Moving on.

No physical item in witchcraft is essential. You could go into your kitchen cabinet and begin bespelling your home without paying anything. People like owning things, because sparklies are fun and we're all magpies at heart, but neither crystals nor tools are necessary to the craft- and some argue that they're not even backed by research into historic traditions and what ancient practitioners might have used. A lot of the tools people think are "essential" are specific to Wicca or introduced via the new age movement, which was only...what, 70 years ago now? There are certain paths which require certain tools, and religions and folk religions that require certain things to function, but unless you are in one and getting instructions from your teacher/mentor/godparent, you're not required to buy anything. We're Anti-capital here. Money is the enemy and dirt is our friend.

So, that being said, a few recommendations:

The thrift shop. Want an athame? Bell? Candle stand? Spoon? Find a pretty silver thing and consecrate it. Nothing in life has to be new when it gets to you, as long as you cleanse it well.

Your local kids museum will have cheap crystals at discount prices. The natural history museum told me then genuinely sell them by weight. You can't guarantee their ethical background that way (a lot of cheap rocks are mined with enslaved labor), but you can get your rocks.

If you can get to a rock and crystal show, rarer and harder to find crystals go cheap in there, but you do have to pay a flat fee to enter so it's kind of a financial wash in the end. It's fun though. They sell empanadas at my closest one.

Your local supermarket. Unless you're using bulk herbs by the bucket, which seems wasteful, you can usually get herbs and pre-packed larger quantities of herbs from the spice section in your supermarket. And this way they're guaranteed to be food grade and safe to consume or bathe with, which is never a guarantee when you pick something up from the metaphysical shop.

eBay and other secondhand sites. People leave the craft all the time, and hawk their stuff for cheap. A little Dr. Bronner's, a little sacred perfume or incense, and she's good as new.

Indian and other Asian grocery stores. When I'm down and in some trouble, I know they have my back. Thank you for carrying incense on the shelf when I needed you the most. And having bulk rice.

Local swap. Networking is everything! Sometimes local covens will host events where people get together to sell off old things or swap stuff. Good times to find a pre-loved tarot deck or altar cloth.

Your hands! *grabby hand gesture* Some stuff you can make. I have an old sewing machine, and I love her to death; I make storage pockets and altar cloths with her. I crochet altar cloths. Some people make their own candles. I know someone who learned glass-making to make their own altar pieces. Some hobbies are more expensive than others, but a crochet hook is like $3 and yarn can be like $4. Bam. Altar mat.

Speaking of candles, I forgot to mention the dollar tree and other discount stores have cheap candles: some even have the tall glass pillars you need if you're in one of the ATR diasporic traditions.

Quite frankly, my best investment in witchcraft tools I ever made was watching my mother buy an antique silver serving spoon, which I occasionally filch from her drawer and return after it's done it's job. Borrowing things from your family costs nothing.

I'm sure this wasn't what you had in mind, but (and not to be a weird adult who has a poor relationship with the internet here), sometimes you have to go out there and physically touch things before you find what's right for you. Find a thrift store. A secondhand shop. A goodwill. Browse. What could you use this in? What spells can you piggyback off of this thing you found? What use does this have in your craft? Try not to build your craft off of your tools; build your toolkit to support what you want to do with your craft. That way you won't have wasted time and money on a fun thing people said was essential to have! ...but now you never use this selenite wand you spent $30 on because you found out wands don't have a place in your practice. Blech.

Best of luck hunting! 💜✨

#growing-yet #witchblr #baby witch #beginning witch #witchcraft on a budget #budget witchcraft

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shadowmaat · 1 year

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Artificial Incompetence

The conversations around "artificial intelligence" are getting a bit bonkers. Not that they're really conversations so much as screaming matches. And not that we're talking about true artificial intelligence so much as algorithm blending programs.

I don't like the recent fad of ABPs. It has a lot of the same earmarks and defenders as NFTs had, and boy howdy did that not work out well for folks. I don't think ABPs have been tied to the fake currency market, but their current implementation is still going to do more harm than good, in my opinion.

I'm not gonna say that writing or art should be "hard" or that people need to "struggle" in order to create things. I do, however, believe that they need to do the goddamn work themselves. Feeding prompts into a content generator doesn't make you a writer or artist. Well, scam artist, maybe. It's taking words/brush strokes from someone else and claiming credit for it. Even if you mention you used an ABP you still didn't create the art yourself, you just fed a program some prompts or the name of some artists you like and it spat out something you claimed as your own.

That's one of the big hangups I have with this fad: taking credit for someone else's work. Reaping all the perceived benefits (kudos, reblogs, etc) without actually doing anything to earn it.

If I give someone a prompt and they write a fic based on it, that story isn't mine. Sure, they might mention I gave them the prompt, but they were the one to write the actual story. Not me. My name doesn't go on the author line and I can't boast to others about the fic I wrote. Because I didn't.

I'm all for accessibility tools to help people complete tasks, and if ABPs were being widely used to help make creative efforts more accessible, I might have a different opinion. As it stands, however, the vast majority of people currently using ABPs aren't using them to help with their own creativity, they're using them as a substitute.

The arguments about data scraping and plagiarism are important, especially if we want to make sure that ABPs stop doing that, but from where I stand it still all boils down to people trying to loophole past responsibility and effort.

It gets worse when you switch gears from fic writing to essays and articles. At least in fiction stuff is supposed to be made up, so, all jokes aside, if some details are wrong it doesn't really matter.

When students start submitting essays to their teachers that they didn't write or sites try using an ABP to write articles, facts become a lot more important. And ABPs are infamous for making shit up whole cloth, even to the point of citing imaginary sources for their facts. That is, quite frankly, dangerous.

You think the past few years (decades, centuries) of misinformation have been bad? It can get a whole lot worse. These programs can seed in just enough "real" information to sell their bullshit as legitimate, and if even some experts have to double-check stuff to figure out what's false, where does that leave the rest of us? Especially all the ones who don't fact check at all before reblogging/believing something they read?

I think the future of artificial intelligence- real artificial intelligence- could be incredibly cool, and when the first AI submits a fic to AO3 I hope I'm around to read it. Right now, though, it's less about exploring potential and all about exploiting it.

#soapboxing

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strangerqueerthings · 2 years

Text

Cutting a Deal

Eddie is running low on a rather critical drug... but Billy comes through in a pinch- even if he doesn't know exactly what Eddie needs it for, but he doesn't judge, not when Eddie's come through for him.

(Stealth Trans!Eddie; mentions of injections, drug deals.)

Eddie’s been good at getting what he needs, or what other people need. He’s kind of like an opossum that way- getting his little hands on anything and running off with them. Weed, cigarettes, booze, even harder stuff like ketamine and pain pills.

He leaves the truly hard stuff to Rick- he won’t touch anything like coke, meth or heroine. Rick gets all that from Indianapolis, and even if Eddie was willing to sell it, Rick wouldn’t let him.

“You’re too young to be getting into this shit, Eddie,” he’d said, and Eddie has no qualms whatsoever about keeping his hands off it.

However, the one thing he needs for himself is no longer an option- Rick’s now in jail, and the other supplier has graduated and left the state, though Eddie suspects once the secret is out, his supplier will be back, booted from college.

Eddie glances at the vials in his lockbox. He keeps them with the ketamine, under lock and key, and the box is hidden behind piles of clothes and a stack of magazines under his bed.

He has three left.

If he tapers on the dose, as much as he can, he can make them stretch for three months, but he dreads the side effects of lowering his dose.

Wayne knows about them. He’d walked in on Eddie injecting it into his thigh, and he hadn’t said anything, just walking out again to let Eddie finish. When Eddie came out, buckling his pants over his freshly bandaged thigh, Wayne had patted the couch beside him.

“You know what that stuff might do to you?”

“Pretty obvious, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I figured when your folks dropped you off on my doorstep without a word, figured out what you were doin’, and why they left you here.”

Eddie had said nothing, looking at his knees.

“They never talked to me about you before, you know. I knew nothin’ about you. My brother and I never got along, and at this point, I don’t want to try to rekindle nothin’ with him now.”

The silence had been heavy, Eddie picking at the threads in the hole on the knee of his jeans. Wayne had reached out and put an arm around his nephew, pulling him close.

“I just want you to be safe, is all. It’s obvious it’s doin’ what you need it to, and if it makes you happy, that’s all that matters, but if you start feelin’ sick because of it, you tell me so we can take you to the doc, y’hear me?”

Eddie had looked up, his eyes watery, and he had sniffled as he nodded, at a loss for words.

It was the only time they had discussed his meds, and Wayne had left it at that.

Now, however, Eddie needs to talk to someone about it, because he’s running out, and he doesn’t know what’ll happen if he stops his meds.

He doesn’t know how to bring it up with Wayne- not because Wayne would admonish him, Wayne knows what Eddies does in his free time to help support the household and his own hobbies. He doesn’t know how to bring it up because he knows Wayne would bend over backwards to try and get it for him- including putting them both at risk.

Wayne’s done enough for him, and he won’t risk it.

There’s a knock at the door, and Eddie hurriedly puts his lockbox away, shoving it back into its hiding place and replacing the junk in front of it. The knock comes again and Eddie heads to the door.

“Yeah, yeah, hang on, I’m coming,” he calls.

He opens the door and it’s Billy Hargrove. Billy grins at him, that cocky, sly grin that’s second nature for him, and makes Eddie’s heart stutter.

“Hey.”

“Billy. What’s up?” Eddie asks as he invites Billy inside.

Billy doesn’t mind that Eddie lives in a trailer, and Eddie appreciates him for it. He usually does his deals in one of three spots, and only does deals in the trailer when it’s expensive or a more illicit than a baggie of weed- and only when Wayne isn’t home.

He likes giving Wayne plausible deniability.

“Had a question- a business proposition, actually,” Billy says, sitting on the couch, resting his arms over the back, manspreading like the arrogant shithead he is.

Eddie leans against the kitchen counter, folding his arms over his chest.

“What kind of business proposition?”

“You interested in selling steroids?”

Eddie doesn’t know how to react, but his mind immediately goes to the three vials hidden under his bed.

“Steroids? Didn’t think you were into that, Hargrove.”

Billy makes a face, his nose wrinkling, mouth screwing up into a scowl, brows knitting, and for a second, he reminds Eddie of a Pomeranian one of his customers has. He tries to push it out of his mind because laughing would be a bad idea right now.

“No. My muscles are earned the good old fashioned way. However, there’s probably folks in town who don’t want to risk driving to Indianapolis for that shit, thought maybe you’d like to be a seller.”

“I try not to sell anything too hard. Rick handled that shit,” Eddie says.

“It’s not hard shit, though,” Billy says. “It’s just testosterone- these guys are taking it to build their muscles up faster.”

“If it’s not hard shit, why are you looking to loop me in as a seller?”

“Because Rick is in jail, and I know you need the money,” Billy says bluntly.

Eddie laughs to cover up his discomfort.

“I have my own castle, man, I’m okay.”

Billy just gives him a look that cuts Eddie to the core, a chill settling in his bones.

“I know you like to keep a bit of your own merch, so it’s double the benefit.”

Eddie frowns to cover his anxiety.

“Do I look like someone who wants to build muscle?”

“No, but I know you use it already. I saw the vials in your lockbox when you sold me that special K, Eddie.”

Eddie feels his mouth go dry, and he moves away from the counter, to try to go to the kitchen, to put some space between himself and Billy. Billy is on his feet in an instant, grabbing his wrist.

“Look. I don’t know why you’re using, but it’s none of my business. You’ve done me a solid by selling me special K without any questions, and I’m repaying the favor. I’m trying to loop you in so you have access to it again.”

Eddie doesn’t know how to respond. Does Billy suspect, or are there other theories in his head? None of them could be good.

“You’re pretty much the only person I like in Hawkins, Eddie,” Billy continues. “Why would I fuck with that?”

“Surely you have friends, Mister Popularity.”

“People have no idea what it is to be me, and if they did, they’d look at me different. You have an idea, and you don’t look away. You’ve seen a glimpse at my life, and you don’t pity me, you sympathize.”

Billy stares into his eyes, and Eddie can’t look away.

“You have no idea how much that means to me. So if you’re using steroids, that’s none of my fuckin’ business, but if you need them? I wanna help you get access to them, because I imagine Rick being in jail hasn’t helped you with that.”

Eddie can’t tell Billy why he needs them, but the fact that Billy’s willing to risk setting up a deal for him means more to him than he can express in words.

“Thanks, man,” he finally says, his voice cracking a bit. “I appreciate it.”

Billy finally lets go of his wrist.

“I’ll tell him he can reach out to you. I know you hate basketball, and most of the assholes on the team, but hey, might as well make some money off them, right?”

Eddie laughs.

“Come on, man. Let’s share a joint. I think I owe you.”

Billy gives him that grin again and sits back on the couch.

“Not really, but I’m always happy to share with you. It’s what friends do, right?”

A slow smile unfurls over Eddie’s face as he sits beside Billy with his stash.

Friends.

He likes the sound of that.

#Mungrove #Billy Hargrove #Eddie Munson #trans eddie munson #sqt drabble #drugs cw

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