#my flights on one of the big planes with three per row on either side of the aisle i think

[goldenscript]

subliminal

pairing: lee jooheon | reader genre: best friends to lovers au / fluff word count: 6,312 description: three times (okay, four) you didn’t mean to say you were his girlfriend… and you certainly didn’t mean to like it so much the last time either.  author’s note: this was an impulse write… thank @jungnoir. honestly just thank her for most of my on the spot pieces. also, thank this for the inspiration as well! also… also, i dedicate this piece to @yongceo <3 

Incident #1:

“For the last time, Jooheon, you can’t just mix up bedroom and bathroom.” You pinch the bridge of your nose, releasing a deep sigh.

He exasperates, eyes going wide by a few centimeters and voice getting increasingly louder, “Why not?! What’s so bad about that?”

You stare him in disbelief before letting go of your suitcase so you can reach over with your free hand that isn’t preoccupied with a carry-on bag just to give him a proper smack on the arm.  

He releases a string of curses and whines that you hear only the half of as a flock of bodies pass between the two of you. As per usual, the airport is still busy as ever with people running all over the place alongside suitcases and other fellow people who might’ve forgotten the exact time of a flight or other notions of the sort. Somewhere in the mix, warbled music and announcements over flights intermingle causing most of the mess.

Traveling in itself is a pain so you can understand the pandemonium.

All things considered, one has to be prepared, well-equipped with their clothing and other toiletries, not to mention making sure they have all the other necessities such as monetary expenses and room and board. There’s a whole new aspect to flying somewhere and situating yourself away from home. And although you’re frustrated with Jooheon over his lack of understanding in the one damn language you’ll both need -English- you can be a little sympathetic with the guy.

Traveling abroad for the first time is always a pain, probably an even bigger one than just traveling by itself. You actually have to have some semblance of sense in the language and customs and it’s just this whole ordeal that you know damn well he would not survive without your expertise. You’ve had your fair share of trips between the States and South Korea more times than you can count being an English major. It’s a job that expects you to travel to some other country, and given you didn’t just have to travel to the States, there was also places like England, Ireland, and Australia with rich literary history, you also felt drawn to the hustle and bustle of America. It opened doors in ways that you were very much glad to extend to Jooheon (among other, undisclosed reasons).

Although he wasn’t an English major like yourself, he was studying up on music and its hand-in-hand theory so he wanted to culture himself with what California had to offer. Being not only his best friend but a well-acquainted traveler to said place, you agreed to show him the sights, translate some things for him, and basically just show him an unforgettable time considering this is his first trip out of the quaint city of Seoul. That was a promise you weren’t going to break even if he couldn’t name the difference between a bedroom and a bathroom…

You shake your head at him nudging him with your hip.

“C’mon ya big baby. We have to get on our flight then another load of fun at the airport at the States with customs-”

He groans again, “I know, I know! You’ve reminded me about a million times about that.”

“With good reason,” You point out. “This is your first time traveling.”

“Well, that’s why I have such tour guide.” He smiles, plopping down on one of the chairs as you do the same.

“Not that I’m doing it for free, y’know.” You deadpan, giggling when his features contort in horror. “God, I’m kidding!”

He turns to you in his seat, “I’m extremely hurt, how can this not be free of service after all the money I spent?”

You scoff, “You paid for the taxi fare. That’s it. We literally could’ve taken the subway for a cheaper price!”

“Not the point!”

You roll your eyes at him, releasing a breath of laughter. “Whatever, dummy. This won’t cost you anything. Just have a blast alright? At least before you leave me to be an international superstar or whatever.”

He watches as you lean against your seat, pulling up your hood so you can lean against the wall. The look is a little undecipherable but you conclude it’s just him being him immediately. “I wouldn’t leave you.”

You smile over at him, opening your mouth to say something in return until he flicks your forehead, blatantly ignoring the yelp that slips past your lips. “You’ll stay by my side as my translator, of course.”

You grumble, turning away from him. “Asshole.”

He still holds onto you despite your moves to get away from him, and it’s a war that doesn’t seem to end until you give up and let his arm rest on your shoulders in the never ending hustle and bustle of the airport. Not even after the hour since your arrival has it ceased its motions, and man are you grateful to finally board the plane before most of the other passengers.

It leaves you and Jooheon to choose the seats you want in the three-seat sections, and soon as you find 34C and 35C, you tell him to take the window seat.

With his brows screwed together, he asks, “Why?”

You inform him, “It’s a rite of passage for a first-time flyer, sir. So, sit.”

Despite the complaints that fall past his lips he does as you say, leaving you two to wait for the onslaught of bodies to find their seats. A few rows away are a set of twins crying with a frustrated mother, a businessman who looks extremely flustered that he’s in the last place he wants to be, and another variety of unfamiliar faces that all seemed to look mildly tired and relieved to finally be on the plane.

You have to admit you agree with them on the relief. You’re grateful to finally fly now that everyone’s settled and the pilot’s ready to carry you guys across the sky and into a new place. Although… the feeling of the airplane beginning to take off takes Jooheon by surprise, his eyes widening and his hand now forming a tourniquet on your arm instead of the armrest beneath it.

“Oh my god,” You two say simultaneously.

You hiss at him, “Jooheon, relax your grip -Jesus Christ.”

“W-why is it being like this? Y/N are we going to die?”

His eyes are huge, a thin sheen of perspiration forms at his forehead, and he’s actually beginning to turn a little green. You sigh, grabbing hold of the hand with a death grip on your arm and grabbing it with your hand.

“It’s okay, Jooheonie. We’re okay,” You coo despite the tight squeezes he’s inflicting on your hand. “Hey, hey,”

He looks to you, looking a little less nervous.

You repeat, “It’s going to be okay. You’re okay. This is just the plane getting ready to fly us at the right altitude. Think of it as the beginning of a rollercoaster… just no drop or anything.”

He still clings to your hand like a second lifeline, giving it a few good squeezes for measure. If you didn’t feel so sympathetic to the boy you would’ve thought he was actually trying to abuse your hand on purpose. Now that you continue to stare at him, you just let him hold tight, easing through the pain and trying to soothe him with words you hoped would calm him, even going as far as plopping on a pair of your headphones atop his head and playing some music from your phone. (Next to his assortment of tunes, he actually seemed to appreciate yours.)

He doesn’t speak, only trying to focus on the words as he continues his ministrations of squeezes at random intervals. At least it gives you some warmth in the cool air blasting through the section, thanks to the businessman plopped onto your left.

Instead of telling him to turn it off, you just manage to give Jooheon’s warm hand a few measured squeezes just to even the score albeit watch as they do nothing but ease him a little better. His eyes are shut but his lips are moving as he mouths some of the lyrics of the songs he does know off your playlist, his brows screw together when the next song happens to be one that he isn’t quite familiar with, and his lips are back to trying to mouth the words even if he’s not that sure what they’re actually saying. This earns a giggle from you, one gone unnoticed as he continues this to feel better in the ceasing lift-off.

Soon enough, the flight attendant arrives with a somewhat friendly expression on her features. She asks the row, “What can I get you all to drink?” in English.

The businessman answers with a ginger ale, you answer with water, and you turn to Jooheon, finding him still stuck in his little world and decide against disturbing him. You look back to the attendant and just ask for some soda since he probably preferred something fizzy just to ease his stomach. With a nod, she’s off to complete her duties and you’re left with him still in the same position.

The flight relaxes after another ten minutes or so, and the hand at yours begins to relax as well. It doesn’t strike any worry in you when it lingers since you’ve grown used to the pleasant warmth, liking the feeling until the attendant approaches with drinks and snacks in tow.

“Here you go, sir.” She says, handing him his ginger ale.

She reaches over to you, placing your water on the table and handing you Jooheon’s soda. “Here’s your water and a soda for your boyfriend.”

Boyfriend?

You blink and accept the beverages, ready to protest, but she’s places the snacks on each of the tables and leaves.

When you turn to Jooheon, nudging him with your forearm, he opens one eye moving one of the headphones to hear what you’re about to say.

“Your soda’s there.” You nod at the tray. “And you can stop trying to murder my hand now too.”

He’s about to protest but you give his hand one final squeeze, smirking to yourself when a small yelp falls past his lips. He shoots you a glare but goes for his soda with a content expression gracing his features at the taste of sugar and carbonation.

It’s another full fifteen minutes before he speaks again, much better now that he’s .

“Thank you,” He says after moving the other headphone away from his ears. “And sorry about your hand.”

You smile, shaking your head. “It’s fine. Probably a broken bone or two. Nothing that an English major would need.”

“Good thing then,” He says grinning at the sight of your jaw dropping.

You huff with an eye roll, “Punk. After ordering a soda for you this is what I get… next time get dehydrated from fear.”

“You’d miss me too much if I died, Y/N.” He pouts this time.

You raise a brow at him, “Would I?”

“Yes!”

“Okay but how do you know?”

“…Shut up. You love me.”

“Do I?”

He gives you a look, his brows are furrowed and his lips jut out as if to judge you for your feigned idiocy though you merely return his expression with a relatively doe-eyed look, full of innocence and nonchalance.

“You do.”

You shrug, “Sometimes.” 

Incident #2:

You don’t think about how the flight attendant mistook you as Jooheon’s girlfriend. At least not so much as you find yourself thinking more about how easy it was to let you roll with the title than fight it so vehemently as you used to when you were in middle school when everyone accused the two of you of secretly dating.

You’d like to think that you were just naïve back then, just a young girl who worried way too much over what people thought and not of what you thought specifically. When you’re that young, you just want to please everyone else because you think that’ll please you; however, it wasn’t so, and you learned that one the hard way.

You recall that the indifference you held on the matter also pushed Jooheon further from you until you remember he was off in the music room without you instead of waiting, and the loneliness pestered you more than anything else. And without another thought or care, you approached him in the music room, plopping down beside him as his fingers glided across the keyboard, and you nudged his side with an apology and an extra chocolate pudding cup. From then on, you knew better than to let others think for you, because you sure as hell refused to to lose your best friend over something as insignificant as people worrying about someone else’s love life.

So, since then, the topic of dating Lee Jooheon has never elicited more than a meager eye roll because if you two ever dated then you know damn well he’d make it known better than anyone else in this world. (Not that many people know this anyway.)

The strong friendship you have with Jooheon is nothing compared to the public’s automatic assumption to pair you two romantically. It’s not a bad thing, per say, but the introduction to an alternate reality outside of platonic habits is hard to break or conceive really. At least… well, you do admit you’ve considered a possible relationship with him, but you’ve never pushed it. One time you two pretended to be together going along on a double date to this Thai place offering free dinners for couples, That was as out of the norm you two ever got though since that fake date nearly a year ago you’ve considered the prospect.

What meager prospect it was, what with life and other people getting in the way - his rising fame on Soundcloud and his own YouTube channel have been taking him to higher places. He’s been receiving offers from several music companies, and he’s actually supposed to decide in a few months. But up until then, he was adamant about spending time with you and going on this trip, and so here you are…

Apparently, sharing a one-bed hotel room instead of the double-bed you swore you booked.

“What do you mean it’s only one bed?” You inquire the front desk service woman.

She obviously looks confused, her eyes shifting between you and Jooheon. “Well m’am, we often do double checks on our registered rooms and the one in charge must’ve thought the double was a mistake. I mean if you and your boyfriend are fighting, then I hope this single bed can help you two patch things up.”

You blink, “Boyfriend? Wh-”

There’s a prodding at your side from Jooheon, a raised brow in your direction when you say the term - surprisingly enough, he hasn’t seemed to pick up on that word though you’re actually quite relieved he hasn’t.

You wave him off, turning back to the woman with chestnut locks.

She whispers, gaze hardened at your sudden incredulity, “M’am, I’m sorry but this is what happened.”

“There aren’t any other rooms available?”

She shakes her head, holding the room key between the two of you. She even adds, “Unless you both would like to stay somewhere else.”

The flight alone was eleven hours and arriving to the hotel in the Los Angeles traffic was another hour. If you wanted to push for a double bed room, then only God knows how long that would take, and if you’re being perfectly honest, you don’t give a flying fuck if you have to sleep beside him. At least he’d have to deal with it when you tell him, but that’s all there is to it.

Even then you’re sure that Jooheon wouldn’t mind anyway. You tell him about the mix up, leaving out the term “boyfriend” just to save yourself the whining he’ll unleash, so he nods and tells you, “It’s fine then. We can deal with it. Not like we haven’t slept beside each other before.”

You blanch, giving his forearm a resounding smack when he starts smiling at you teasingly.

“Shut. Up.” You say with your own laugh. “That was when we were in middle school, Jooheon.”

He points out, “It was also a month ago when you let me pass out at your place.”

You roll your eyes, “You also happened to get completely wasted so I couldn’t exactly say no. Plus, I can’t carry you for crap.”

“Oh scre-”

“M’am, here’s your key card!”

Without another thought, you receive the key card as soon as the worker is finished checking you two in. The smile on her lips and the thumbs up when Jooheon isn’t looking reminds you of the word that seemed to be popping up quite a bit between you and him.

>>>

The bed situation is a mistake.

You’re not sure how you forgot just how irritating Jooheon was when it came to sleeping, but the prospect becomes glaringly clear that there’s a reason why you wanted that second bed.

He jogs your memory almost immediately upon laying on the left side of the bed. His sudden throaty whine leaves his throat, and you have to force a nasty glare in his direction as he stares at you from the bathroom’s entryway.

“I need the left side, Y/N.”

You don’t argue, opting to roll over onto the other side to catch the much needed rest. It’s a good nine hours ahead in Seoul but you’ll be damned if you don’t get your necessary eight hours.

You don’t say anything aside from “Whatever.”

Now I can sleep.

Unfortunately, life can never be that simple can it?

The moment Jooheon lays on the bed, he does nothing but rolls around as if to delve into the plush comfort further if that were physically possible. He makes a throaty whine or two at the first failed attempt to find a comfortable position, and the second one is from the resonating smacking sound after you turn toward him with a glare in the pitch dark room.

“Ow!” You can hear more rustling as he tries to soothe the probably reddened area. “Y/N, what was that for?!”

“Why are you moving around so much?!” You hiss, already adjusting to the dark room.

“I’m- trying to get comfortable…” He stops rubbing his arm, placing it between the two of you. “G-go back to sleep!”

You feel your eyes roll before you lean closely, looking at him as he slowly scoots his way closer to your side of the bed. Soon enough, your eyes narrow slightly, a smile already fighting its way onto your lips, “I thought you said you needed to sleep on the left side, hm?”

He only mutters, “I am on the left side.”

“Then why are you moving onto my side?”

You can practically feel the tendrils of his hair ghosting the side of your face. His body is exactly at your side. You can feel the warmth he radiates for sure. It’s comforting, much like the previous times you’ve woken up to him beside you while he nurses a hangover, though this is only different because he’s actually sober and completely aware of how close he is to snuggling you like an actual pillow.

“Jooheon?” You say, prodding his bicep with your shoulder when he remains silent.

“What?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I’m not on your side.”

It doesn’t take you long to understand why he’s acting this way. You guessed from the beginning but his refusal to relent on curling a hand around your bicep is enough evidence for you.

As abnormal as it may seem to most people, you’ve known him long enough to know that whenever he’s in a new place he just feels the need to snuggle into the person next to him. This is the case if he isn’t alone, tossing and turning before giving up and calling you at whatever godforsaken time it is. It’s usually for the first few nights, and it’s only after he’s gotten the hang of the place that he can fare well on his own.

A sigh parts your lips as you let him curl into your side, allowing his never ending heat to wash over the right side of your body.

“It’s fine, Jooheonie. If you were that scared, you should’ve just asked.”

He jabs a finger to your side, eliciting a yelp and an unseen glare.

There’s nothing but a hum of a response as he soon grows quiet, breathing steadily slowing after he mumbles his gratitude. Within moments, he’s finally asleep.

For whatever reason, ones that you can’t seem to process at the moment, you relax and ignore the odd sensation vibrating across your body. Even when it continues as you turn over, feeling his arm wrap around your waist.

It’s normal… right?

Incident (#3 &) #4:

The third incident -well, incidents- are far from being worth mentioning in extreme detail though it’s mostly in part of how miscellaneous these instances are. Since Jooheon’s sudden title as your boyfriend occurred more times than you can keep track of, you mostly agreed with each time just to save time from explaining.

You can’t even deny how satisfying it was to see the disappointment on some of the women who asked, some men too, but either way you felt a little more relieved than you normally would’ve back in Seoul. It isn’t like you’re normally like this either. After all, he’s free to flirt with other girls and get their numbers. He can do what he likes, but then you remember just how limited his knowledge is of the English language, and it becomes a protective measure for you to make sure everyone else backs off.

Along the way, you teach him some phrases as promised, especially for the convenience of the few times he was able to chat with a few of the recording studio managers on your way through Los Angeles’ many sights. They go relatively well sans the few times you have to act as his translator when they say something he can’t keep up with. But you try to keep from teaching him of that one term that seems to pop up whenever you two are seen together. You’d think by now he’d have looked it up or tried to figure it out but you wave it off whenever he asks.

On this night, it’s no exception to hear the almost cursed word that never fails to elicit butterflies in you or a sudden look of confusion to flash across Jooheon’s features. This time is only a little different, not that is goes completely noticed by you.

Your waitress smiles at the two of you seated near the bar. She takes your orders and scurries off in a flash.

The restaurant is a normal busting Friday night, but it’s supposed to have great burgers and you’ve been insisting on taking Jooheon for a while now, so you don’t mind all the passing bodies brushing past the two of you in hopes of quenching their thirst for alcohol or hunger for convenient finger foods.

You notice a few people waiting by the door with hawk eyes for any open seat. None of which you pay particular attention to because Jooheon’s already talking to you about all the inspiration he’s gotten from the vibrant city. His eyes are lighting up with a familiar energy that already captures you.

“I think the next song is gonna be based on that art piece we saw on our way here. There’s just something about the way the locals talked about it… how it meant something to them… it really sums up the liveliness of LA,” He lets out a faraway sigh, shaking his head free of his wild thoughts before his eyes are on yours. “I’m glad we came here.”

The smile on your lips widens and you nod, “Yeah! Of course, Jooheonie-”

“Seriously though!” He says immediately, leaning forward. “If it wasn’t for you and making this trip happen, I don’t think I would ever have -uh- memories like this.”

Your smile seems to grow to a point where it feels like your cheeks are hurting and all you can do is shake your head.

“That’s probably your mojito talking or somethin’.” You giggle when he tries protesting.

“Is not! I mean it!”

“You’re a mushy drunk you know that right?”

He huffs, watching as you enjoy your own cocktail. You ignore his muttered complaints about ruining a perfectly good moment.

It isn’t like you meant to, per say, you just liked to mess with him and get him riled up. It’s kind of cute to see his eyes widen slightly and his mouth already halfway open in the form of a complaint or a retort. With you, it’s usually the former but you know it’s nothing short of amusement and poor attempts in hiding it.

“So, I had a question,” He says soon after he gets over your jabs at his poutiness.

You nod, halting your attention on your drink. “What’s up?”

“What’s that word that always comes up whenever we’re together? It’s like…” He pauses, trying to relax his jaw to say the word, “boyfriend?”

It’s a rough pronunciation in English, but you see his effort and his curiosity. A flash of something crosses his eyes along the way. Not that you pay much attention to it because the moment he says it, you stand from your spot in the booth immediately.

He looks at you with wide eyes, watching as you’re scrambling out of the seat. “Wha-”

You cut him off, “I have to use the restroom.”

Within moments, you are standing at the mirror, trying to compose yourself. It’s been a total of two -or was it three?- weeks since you had first heard Jooheon mistaken as your boyfriend. Since then it’s been a total of one and a half since you began to enjoy it. And of course, it’s from a good heart. You don’t want anyone taking advantage of him. You certainly hate arguing with people over it when all you two want to do is enjoy the sights of what the cityscape has to offer. And although you have trouble admitting it, part of it might be coming from a place that many best friends (or at least most friends, in general) end up pondering.

Jooheon as more than your best friend once crossed your mind. It isn’t like it’s a foreign concept, because everyone does it. You usually end up going through a phase where you wonder if your friend or your close friend could be more than something platonic, and it’s okay. It’s a phase.

However, as you remain standing in front of the semi-clean restaurant bathroom, trying to organize your thoughts on the whole matter, you can’t deny how much the prospect of being with Jooheon brings you joy. The feeling of his arms at your waist… (and to be frank on that matter, he still hasn’t stopped drawing you close to his chest either.) It’s all foreign yet comforting in the same sense.

You know you need to confess. At least about the boyfriend thing. If he reacts positively, then you might actually have a chance at something new. If not… well, it’s not like he’d treat you weirdly. Being friends as long as you two have, it’s only normal to talk about these kinds of thoughts openly. You’re allowed to. You’ll definitely feel better if you do.

Yeah, I’ll do that. You nod to yourself. If he seems open to the idea, then maybe that’s the right place to start whatever may come. And if he doesn’t, then oh well.

The small pep talk empowers you to brave the steps back to the table. Your heart thuds relentlessly in your chest as the words replay in your head.

Tell him. Tell him. Tell him.

You take your seat in front of him, smiling as he takes a bite of the buffalo wings you two ordered as an appetizer. He looks satisfied with the food, and he enjoys motions for you to take a bite as well.

You do, feeling your sudden resolve waning just a bit.

How do you tell him-

“You still didn’t answer my question,” He replies after finishing his bite. One of his brows is raised and a dimple is still threatening to deepen as if he knew you were trying to prolong answering earlier. It must’ve been written all over your face.

When you swallow down your food, opening your mouth to answer, a woman approaches from the area of the waiting people. She’s pretty and her eyes are set with determination as she speaks and you feel something coil in your stomach at the sudden assumption your mind was drawing.

“Jooheon, I’m back!” She says, taking a seat in front of the two of you. She looks to you with a smile, “I’m Cassie, you’re…. Y/N?”

You nod before turning to him with a raised brow, his eyes meeting the woman in front of him with a grin.

You almost regret teaching him basic greetings in this case. You don’t like the look she’s giving him at all. Or the way her body is turned toward him only. If her body language didn’t give away her interest in your best friend, you would’ve denied her flirting but it’s obvious in all aspects. And it actually grinds your gears.

Why did she have to flirt with him right when you were going to confess to your crime of technically lying to your best friend? Can no one confess in peace?

“Ah, Brad there you are!” She says suddenly, a man sliding into the booth beside her. “Thank you so much for letting us sit with you guys, Jooheon.”

Brad nods, “Really, thanks man!”

Jooheon nods again, “You’re welcome!”

When Cassie and Brad are immersed in their own conversation, glancing at their own menus, you nudge him with your elbow for good measure this time.

“Care you to explain?” You ask, making sure not to use English.

He wipes his hands on a napkin before flashing you a nervous smile, “Well, Cassie approached me when you left and asked if there was any way if her and her husband (or it was something else)  could sit at our table. I felt bad about saying now and she kept like…. Talking about stuff I couldn’t understand so I kinda just said she could so she wouldn’t confuse me further.”

Your eyes narrow slightly, shaking your head once, “This is what you do when I leave for like a minute?”

He opens his mouth to speak until you wave it off.

“It’s fine, Jooheon. I guess it can’t be helped anyway.”

He smiles at you. It’s a gesture you find too hard not to mimic. You try, of course. The best thing you do to combat it is to roll your eyes, nudging him once again.

At least Cassie wasn’t really flirting with him…

“You still didn’t answer my question from earlier though, Y/N.”

He looks so adorably smug at saying this, and you’re almost at a loss of words. You blink at him because your mind even recalls the fact that he mentioned Brad was Cassie’s “something else”. Did he know?

You’re about to deny it when Cassie actually calls the two of you to attention.

“Y/N, Jooheon, me and Brad just wanted to thank you two for letting us sit with you. Jooheon mentioned how you’re good at English, so do you mind translating my gratitude as well?”

You nod, flashing her a small smile.

You tell Jooheon what she said, and he nods as well.

She then adds, “I hope you two can enjoy your date with us here.”

You nearly choke on telling Jooheon that she hopes we can enjoy our dinner with her there, and he claims that it’s no problem. Your heart leaps at him saying that if it isn’t really true, and you nod at Cassie before wiping your fingertips on your napkin.

Not even a moment later, Brad suddenly asks,” Are you two together or are you two just close friends?”

The question catches you off guard only slightly. Wasn’t the answer clear enough when you didn’t deny Cassie’s previous statement? But perhaps, it was your sudden hesitation to answer that reveals the answer. You’re not quite sure.

It all just happens quickly when you say the same statement you’ve been used to saying since the start of this trip, “Y-yeah, Jooheon’s my boyfriend.” You tell him, lacking the usual jab to your ribs.

Every time you’ve said something like this, Jooheon would try to figure out what you meant. It was innocent curiosity, and if your intentions weren’t as romantic as they were now, you would’ve explained it to him, but how can you now? You most likely surpassed the unannounced due date so this wasn’t as weird as it really was, and you just liked the way it slid off your lips and fell into the unknown reality.

You truly enjoyed calling Jooheon your boyfriend, spending all this time with him, and knowing that he enjoy the latter at least.

It barely registers in your brain when Jooheon suddenly wraps an arm around you shoulders with a very prominent dimple grin and adds, “Yeah, and Y/N is my girlfriend!”

> > >

You hid your surprise back at the restaurant just to keep the charade going, but you actually had no clue that Jooheon either figured out what you meant or was told of the implication of the term. Perhaps you should’ve known he would’ve picked up on it sooner. And perhaps you did know that the possibility of this was more than likely, and you kept it up anyway just to see what would happen. After all, here you are now back at the hotel room, trying to avoid his smug smile and curious gaze.

“Well, Y/N?”

You let out a soft groan, turning to face him with a sheepish expression, “How long did you know what boyfriend was?”

It takes him a moment to reply, a few steps made in your direction, “A week and a half ago…”

You raise a brow at him, unafraid to showcase your surprise, “And you didn’t say anything?”

He shakes his head, now standing right before you, “I wanted to see if you’d tell me what it meant.”

You almost walk away if it isn’t for his hands on your shoulders keeping you in place.

You want to whine but opt to pout as you try to explain yourself, “L-look I was going to tell you tonight, but then Cassie and Brad joined us… a-and I dunno….” You pause for a moment, already recollecting the previous events of the night. “Wait, you said I was your girlfriend. Were you just trying to make me feel less stupid?”

“Nope… but I’ll tell you why if you tell me what you were going to tell me tonight.” He looks so close as he says this, but you can see the light in his eyes and the happiness that seems to wash over his dark brown hues.

“I- um…” You try to say. The attempt to find proper words seems to be harder than you realize with him this close. “Fuck, this is hard.”

He throws his head back and laughs, a pretty sound that makes your heart feel all funny. “You’re the English major. Aren’t you supposed to know how to form a sentence?”

You huff, “It’s hard when it comes to talking about my feelings for you, okay?”

Your eyes widen and your hands cover your lips.

He actually blinks, surprise washing over his features at the sudden statement. His grip on your shoulders loosen only slightly, but you use it as enough leverage to escape his grasp.

More than immediately, he blocks your path, trying to look at you despite your eyes shutting tightly. You mutter, “Fuck I can’t believe I said that out loud…”

After he holds onto your wrists and removes them away from your mouth, he says, “I’m glad you did.”

You blink, focusing on his visage as your vision clears, “What?”

He nods, “You weren’t the only one who was dropping hints.”

You can hardly contain the smile already growing on your lips, “Really?”

His voice drops an octave as he gets closer to your ear, “To be honest, I got used to sleeping in this hotel room after the first week, but holding you felt… really nice.”

You admit, leaning in to whisper, “You holding me… felt nice.”

“Really?” He asks, leaning back to normal height. His eyes look so bright it makes you feel warm all over.

You nod, feeling your cheek flush, “To be honest, I really liked calling you my boyfriend.”

“Well, if I like calling you my girlfriend and you like calling me your boyfriend, what now? You wanna try this out?”

You pause for a moment and shrug, “Do you mind? ‘Cuz I don’t.”

He shakes his head, “No, I don’t mind. Anything with you is worth it.”

You release a laugh, “God, what a mush.”

He’s about to complain about you ruining the moment when you wriggle out of his hold on your wrists and grab his hands.

“But sure, why not. Let’s try it out, boyfriend.”

With a dimpled grin, he presses a kiss to your cheek that sends flutters all over, “I’m glad, girlfriend.”

[twaaaaaa]

Update on athletics, goals and life in general

This post is long-winded, vulnerable and brutally honest. You’ve been warned.

So this season was a total bust.

I set out on the 2016-17 season with pretty clear goals: go less intense than last year, concentrate on just a few half-Ironmans and build up to an Iron in April at a pace that wouldn’t burn me out like what happened to me last year. Simple, right?

And then life got in the way.

For various reasons, I missed two half-Irons in the fall. (The first was a trade-off - cancel my vacation but take a promotion at work. The second was a missed flight.) No big deal, right? It’s a bit of missed momentum, but nothing that can’t be recovered from.

And then I just couldn’t bring myself to switch into Ironman mode. I couldn’t split my sleep schedule in two for three days a week, even though I was now working saner hours and regular weekends. I couldn’t wake up at 3:30 a.m. to run. I skipped the extra swimming sessions I promised myself I’d do. I didn’t feel that drive, that motivation, that hunger. I didn’t want to admit it to anyone, but I was burnt out.

It’s a weird thing to admit to myself even now. In theory, I still love triathlons. The community is wonderful and they’re a huge part of my identity. Race days still excite me. But just like injuries in endurance sports, burnout builds up over time and with repetition. I just couldn’t do the grind anymore.

And the burnout wasn’t just athletic. Life was getting in the way too - there was massive anxiety over my job, which turned out to have a good cause. In April the company I work for laid off almost half its staff and offered the rest of us contracts that were tough to swallow - and then gave us three days to decide on them.

Going through the buildup to the contract decision day made me realize something else: I don’t really have a support system left in Abu Dhabi. It’s a consequence of expat churn in a country of 89% expats, and the social instability that comes with it. One of the major challenges of the place is rebuilding your friend group every six months or so when your friends move to new countries or emirates, or just cycle out of your social circle in general. All the people I was talking with about the career anxiety were already overseas or expecting to leave the UAE this year anyway.

The other source of emotional burnout was the relationship side of my life. Without going into too many whiny details, there were three women who came into my life, sequentially within a few short months who independently made me think that finally, I had found someone I really liked who would turn into the kind of relationship I’d been hoping for. After nearly three years of being single and mostly dateless. And so I invested a lot of time and energy into each one, only to have things fall apart with them for reasons beyond my control. One had mental health issues and took herself out of the dating pool entirely, one had physical health problems and too busy a schedule, and one just went from full-throttle to ghost in the span of a week.

One massive disappointment like that I can handle and recover from. But three in a row hit, plus the existential anxiety about my job me hard and sent me to a bad place for a while. That was at the end of my usual UAE racing season, and by that time my training was so bad that I had downgraded my hopes for the post-season race to a half-Ironman a month later than the Iron would have been, and then just nothing at all. I don’t want to use the word depression, because it hasn’t been diagnosed by a doctor, but it was hard for me to get out of bed in the morning and I just shut down for a little while. My nutrition lapsed and I lost too much weight, which for me makes for a downward spiral. My boss even pulled me aside and told me he was concerned about my performance at work.

The expat life ain’t all sunshine and roses, despite what my Facebook feed makes it look like.

I managed to pull myself out of that spiral with a vacation and a visit from my parents. Nothing makes you get out of bed and scramble to get your life looking like it’s together like the fear of disappointing your mother. After they left I realized I had to do something to keep myself from sinking back into that same rut.

It started with the nutrition. I started planning a week of meals at a time and prepping them on the weekends. I know how losing weight from poor nutrition affects the rest of my life, so that was the clearest first step to get out of this funk.

And then April came with the contracts. I was offered one but found it unpalatable. It took me literally until the final hour to decide whether to take it, though, because it’s been four and a half years since I came here and being an expat in Abu Dhabi has become part of my identity. I went through a lot of soul searching, which could be the subject of another long post, and had a few serious what-if discussions. But in the end, I realized that the terms of the new contract would just exacerbate the problems that led to the rut I’ve found myself in these past few months, and cut off the ways I’ve been able to cope with them.

So I turned it down. My contract expires June 30. And since UAE residence visas are tied to employment, I’ll most likely be leaving the country and probably heading back to the US.

There’s one other major thing that happened as part of the contract decision. (Warning: more relationship complaints ahead.) There’s a girl back in my hometown who is everything I want in a girl. I’d been harboring a massive crush on her for years - by far bigger than anything else I’ve felt since the last breakup - but never made a move because I lived overseas and she either had a long-term boyfriend (complete with a joint mortgage and two dogs) or had broken up with the boyfriend and was still reeling. Still, we talk almost every day, spent all the free time we could together when I visit home and I’d seen some encouraging signs from her. Hell, when my parents came to visit she got up at 5 a.m. to buy a box of fresh donuts and drop them off with my parents so they could bring them to me on the plane. And it would have been more than a year since they had broken up by the time I got back to the US in August if I turned the contract down. Plus, the Tampa-St. Pete area where she lives is one of the places I’d like to find a job in.

I didn’t hang my decision on what she said, but I’d be lying to myself if I said it wasn’t a factor I had to consider. So I asked her what she thought. Unfortunately through text and not voice - I tried, but she literally fell asleep on me as I was about to bring the topic up. Snored and everything. I asked her if she would want to give dating me a shot this summer if I were to turn down the contract.

And she said no. She wasn’t attracted to me, she never had been and those donuts were something she’d do for any friend. And I was such a close friend to her that she didn’t want to risk messing up the friendship.

It hurt. God, did it hurt.

And it led to more soul-searching. I’ve always struggled with being the guy that girls love to keep around as a friend, that gets told that any girl would be lucky to have him, but never gets seen as an actual relationship prospect. Meeting people through Tinder or other dating apps helps with that, as it frames me as a romantic prospect in the girl’s mind from the get-go, but even after a few dates I usually ultimately get the same speech: “You seem like a great guy and I want to keep you as a friend, but I’m not attracted to you that way.”

This is not Nice Guy whining. The problem is not with the girls and their attitudes towards me. The problem is me, and whatever it is that doesn’t get them to see as boyfriend material.

To be brutally honest, I think one of the main factors in that predicament is looks. Something I’ve also struggled with for a long time. I don’t remember the last time I got complimented on the way I look, but I know it’s been years. Years. And there aren’t a lot of simple ways I can improve them anymore. I dress in clean, styled, well-tailored clothes. I have a haircut that I’m finally happy with and I keep current with my grooming. I even had Lasik, which got rid of the glasses and the tired eyes from contacts. Effort has certainly been made. And I don’t consider myself ugly - just not attractive.

But I’m still skinny, as is pointed out to me so many times per week. That’s what happens when most of the calories you consume are burnt up in long-distance endurance training and racing. And it’s been brought up as a factor in dating rejections. “I could never date a guy who weighs less than I do” is something I’ve heard a few times. The one that echoes, though, is from a fellow triathlete: “You don’t look athletic enough for me to be attracted to you. Now tell me how your Ironman went.”

The thing is, in long-distance running and cycling skinny means fast. It’s all about the power-to-weight ratio, and though I may not have much power I have even less weight, which makes me sleek and speedy, especially in the hot, flat places I race. That’s what I’ve tuned my body for over the past decade. God, it’ll be 11 years this weekend since I started riding seriously. And I’ve been skinny my entire life before that. Sure, I have leg muscles from all the cycling and running, but that doesn’t count for much.

And yeah, it’s shallow. But I’m in my 20s, where dating and relationships are still heavily influenced by looks and shallow aspects and everything else you notice on first and second impressions. I really do think that the combination of unassuming looks, introversion, aversion to drugs/alcohol and genial personality tip the balance toward the benign “he could be a great, caring friend” side of the scale as opposed to the “he could be a hot, loving boyfriend” side. But what would that scale look like if my looks went from unassuming to “wow, he’s hot.”

So let’s review where I’m at right now:

Dissatisfied with life. Possibly mildly depressed.

Burnt out from endurance training but still love the sport.

At a transition stage in life for the next six months. Belongings like sports equipment and clothing will be discarded or packed, and housing may change a few times.

Likely moving to an area where racing happens in the summer, not the winter like it does here.

Which means an awkward summer and fall where my normal endurance training is at a trough and everyone else is at their peak.

Likely moving to a new area, which means a whole different set of friends and potential dates.

Nutrition is actively managed with weekly prep sessions.

Solution to one of the main stressors likely involves changing myself physically, in a way I haven’t been able to because of endurance training.

Need a change.

Take all these factors together, stir them up and bake them for a few weeks of overthinking while on vacation and you get this:

Time to hit the gym.

For the past month I’ve been going down to my apartment’s gym three times a week and following the Starting Strength full-body routine. I haven’t ridden a bike or run or swam since February, apart from one crazy mountain bike race I did in Poland a few weeks ago. I’ve taught myself the basic lifts using Youtube and taking advice from a few friends who know about these things, and apart from that I’ve told almost nobody. I don’t intend to talk about it on Facebook either. I want to see who notices when I start to gain.

Because make no mistake, upper-body hypertrophy is the main goal here. There will be other benefits that hopefully will help in the long run, but first and foremost I want my shirts to not fit anymore. I want to stop poking extra holes in my watch bands. I want to catch people checking me out in the grocery store. I want to feel confident taking my shirt off at the beach or pool. I want to smile at myself in the half-length mirror in the morning.

I want people to think I’m hot. I want people to tell me I’m hot. I want to think I’m hot.

This doesn’t mean I’m taking up competitive bodybuilding or lifting. The long-term goal is still endurance sports. This move from cardio to the gym will last until winter, when it’ll be time for base miles and the start of the next (northern hemisphere) racing season. The goal is to be at the right weight and muscle mass by then, and then I’d focus on maintaining the gains while rebuilding endurance.

The gym should help in a few other ways. Having a stronger upper body will mean a much stronger swim, which has always been my weakest event. The core strength I’m looking to develop should help on longer bikes and runs. And I’m still working out my legs (even adding rotations on the leg machines, because my upper body can’t bear enough squatting weight to tire out my leg muscles yet), so the added strength there should help with technique stabilization and injury prevention.

This does mean I’ll lose cardio endurance, so I think realistically I’ll have to take a year or so to build up to half-Iron strength again, and two years to Iron strength. But my body knows what it’s like to have that much endurance already, and regaining is always easier than gaining for the first time.

Nutrition-wise, I’m ramping up the calories and shifting from a carb-based goal to a protein-based goal. I still have to drink my weight-gainer protein shake after I finish typing this up. My weight still fluctuates and I’m not always perfect in following my nutrition plan, but I’ve still weighed more this month than I ever have before. From age 16 until March my weight stayed mostly between 127 and 133 pounds, sometimes getting as high as 136. This month I hit 139 - so, so, close to the 140 mark. It’s down to 136.5 again now, but I hope to hit 140 on at least one day next month.

The gym focus also means I’ll be able to train consistently even as I move homes and do God-knows-what with my bikes and equipment. It’ll be good to have that kind of stability, even if I have to switch to bodyweight exercises for a bit.

It’s also refreshing to go back to the novice level. I’ve never gone consistently to the gym before, so I’ve had to teach myself everything. I had to figure out what my weight limits were, what exercises to do, what program to follow and even how to work some of the machines. I haven’t had to learn anything new in triathlon for years, by comparison. And I’m already making small gains.

I went to a triathlon team meeting for the first time in a while this weekend and opened up about the gym focus (though now all the reasons behind it). They were supportive and a few said I looked a little bigger - though that may have just been my clothing choice that day.

I’ll likely be leaving the UAE for good in July or August. It’s the middle of May now, which gives me about two months to gain enough to make an impression on those who last saw me in December. And six months until November kicks off the training season for 2018. This is new territory for me, so I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to grow by then.

But I know that I will be growing. I’ll be moving forward towards my goals.

And for endurance sports as well as life, momentum is a good thing.

(If you came here through Facebook, please don’t mention the relationship, job loss, country switching or gym focus on the comments about the post. I’m not keeping it a total secret, but I don’t want to broadcast it to the public yet.)

[woohooligancomics]

Webcomic Whimsy: Nextuus!

Welcome to the Woohooligan Weekly Webcomic Whimsy! If you're a webcomic author and would like a review, you can see my announcement and review rules here.

Title: Nextuus: the Search for the Ocean Shard

Author: "Undoubting" Thomas Hotka • Facebook • Twitter • DeviantArt • YouTube

Site: Nextuus.com

Genres: Action, Adventure, SciFi, Space Opera, Cyberpunk, Espionage, Illuminati, Treasure Hunting, Psychic, Square-eyed minecraft people

Rating: PG13, T for Teen(?) - some language and violence

Updates: Tues, Thurs, Sat

My Starting Point (requested by artist): Chapter 8.

Synopsis: Space opera treasure hunters in a world with aliens and psychics. (I couldn't find an official synopsis on the site.)

Nextuus is the name of an Earth-like planet in some other part of our galaxy that's been settled by humans (the Confederation), and subsequently conquered by another alien race called Donts. (Rhymes with font.) According to geologist Alec Dougan, the crew of the hoverplane (not starship) the Truemark are treasure hunters. Their green-haired boss and pilot, Randall Lockheed, prefers "entrepreneur". Once famous for his exploits, Randall will find anything for the right price, although he's fallen on hard times and disbanded his crew for many months. The story opens on a new job and Randall getting the band crew back together. Add in an illuminati-like cabal of psychics and it makes for an interesting setting.

I see a lot of influences in this work: Star Wars, cyberpunk, a little Star Trek, etc. but what it reminds me of most (despite the inclusion of Aliens), is Joss Whedon's sci-fi TV series, Firefly. To be fair, Tom Hotka and I have been friends for several years, though I never got around to reading his comic work until now. He actually waited in queue like everyone else for this review and has been real patient with me while I've been struggling with some health issues in recent months. In any event, when I say it reminds me of Firefly more than of Star Wars or anything else, I mean that what I've read of the story focuses a lot on the personal relationships of the crew, who resemble the Firefly crew quite a bit. The crew's hoverplane is described as an "ancient" junker (Serenity), their mechanic is a wide-eyed girl named Elle (Kaylee), who came aboard to escape the utter boredom of her one-horse town and who doesn't seem to notice that Aareck (Simon) has a massive crush on her. Randall (Mal+Wash) claims to be all-business, but it's implied that it's all really about getting back together with his ex, Liz (Inara).

Admittedly, I'm playing a bit loose here, since Aareck isn't a doctor, he's not looking after a psychic sibling with a tragic history, the psychics are an illuminati-like cabal called the Waywachrie, and I assume Liz' profession is not companion. The major players in the political climate do however include the Confederation (probably more like Firefly's Alliance than Star Trek's Federation), and while weapons look to me like conventional firearms (Firefly) and there are no Star-Wars style lightsabers (that I can tell), swords appear to still be common (okay, Mr Universe made the point that the sword was weird in the movie, so maybe this isn't a Firefly thing).

As an aside, I have to give Tom props for some decent disguise humor. ;)

Also, my first impression while looking for some kind of synopsis was that it seemed a little Seussical when I started reading about Ways and Donts on the About page. You see, there was a Dont War, but not with Ways, because Ways don't war, Dont's war. Let's all be grateful where aren't any Whos... yet. It's a bit less comical once you realize Dont rhymes with font, but you'd have to read their description for the pronunciation guide. It occurs to me also that there's no page to describe the Confederation, which is described as the human government in the descriptions for the Nix (think CIA) and the Nextuus Planetary Defense Force (NPDF), and I'd like to see the crew of the Truemark separated from non-crew characters on the About page. And in general, I think a synopsis of the story would be helpful on that About page as well.

Tom asked me to start reading at the beginning of Chapter 8.

I dunno... is it normal to go through all that procedure when your engine is belching thick black smoke and you're crashing or damn near? "This is your captain speaking, at this time we're going to initiate crash-landing procedures, but first we're going to let the flight attendants finish taking your drink orders."

Two comments on the art here. First, although it's a bit hard to look at, that double-vision effect does a really nice job of simulating the shaking camera effect. Nice job, Tom. Second, and I'll expand on this a little more later, but I think this page could have had two of these panels, and possibly a panel or two from the following page could have been included here. The dialogue from the tower could have been presented in the same panel with Randall's dialogue, and in general, I don't see the visuals in the middle two panels adding any information to the scene.

No, we're not screwed! We're option-challenged!

To be honest, I think "you're coming in a little too steep" would have been a great punchline at the end of that first page.

Wait... is she fixing her hair during a plane crash?! <looks back> Oh, her hair was on fire, she's putting it out. I thought you were supposed to stop drop and barrel roll...

Also... you're allowed to just hang-up on air-traffic?!

I think I would have made the latter 3 panels here a single panel and daisy-chained the dialogue balloons together, using just the art from panel 3, or possibly a profile shot like panel 2 from the first page.

I think this is the moment where I really started thinking about Firefly. That line from Elle about parts falling off the plane just feels so close to the opening of the Serenity movie.

This is also the point at which I start feeling like there's a pacing issue. I realize I'm sounding like a broken record, and maybe people will just write it off when I say this from now on, I'm certainly not any kind of authority, but most of the comics I've reviewed so far seem to me to be slow getting important info to the reader. It's not always the same kind of info, for example, when I read Modest Medusa I interpreted it as primarily being a slice-of-life comedy (surreal though it was), and there the missing info seemed to be details about the main character's life (family, job, etc). In Next Town Over, which is a steampunk action/adventure, there's obviously a backstory that Erin was trying to keep in the dark and let readers piece together, although I felt like the brief glimpses of backstory were infrequent and often too short to be meaningful for me as a reader.

Nextuus gives me a wholly different kind of "sluggishness" for lack of a better term. I feel like the story is moving and things are being revealed, but that Tom is giving me too many visuals, which bumps the page count up. It's not too noticeable at first, I'm just reading along, but then over time, those creeping page counts seem to add up and I end up feeling like a whole chapter went by without revealing much information. At present, Nextuus is 34 chapters and a total of 1053 pages, and while I'm sure there are fans out there who enjoyed every page, for my part, I'm thinking about the printed volumes. What's that? At least 10 trade paperbacks? I know Tom's had four successful Kickstarters for volumes of Nextuus so far, and in his video for the last one he said the first three volumes were fifteen chapters, so if a chapter averages around 20-25 pages, you're looking at five chapters per volume being 100-125 pages? That can't be right... not with over 1k pages so far...

Okay, I'm getting into the weeds here, I apologize. What I'm getting at is that any extra panels or extra pages are going to drive up the price of the books. You could still get Volume 4 for $25 on his last Kickstarter, which is a reasonable price for a trade paperback, but I wonder if the size didn't eat into Tom's margin and make it harder for him to make ends meet in the long run. So... long story short, Tom, I think if you could cut a few of those panels in future chapters, it might help you bring costs down and may even help bring sales up if the readers feel like it's more "action packed" that way.

And that's where we get the two page landing sequence that I feel like really could have been one page.

That picture of Elle at the top grabbing the co-pilot seat, I feel like really would have worked better as the last panel on the previous page, also because then you get to see her standing behind the chair and then grabbing it without the page-break as an interruption.

So if you put the first panel from the previous page onto this page with these three panels, I think that would have worked out nicely.

The big dude on the right is One-15, who joined the crew in response to an ad. He's said to be from the planet Carthe and while the details of his anatomy are left ambiguous (I think intentionally), he certainly feels to me like a robot with an air of Star Wars (you can't say "droid", or the big silly mouse will sue your ass into the last century).

While I'm on the subject of pacing, it feels to me like Tom is kind of married to individual pages being 3 or 4 panels. This page in particular, although it is four panels, certainly feels like it has plenty of empty space that could have been used for another panel or two. Shift the first panel over to the left, slide panel 2 up on its right side, repeat with panels 3+4 and you've got a whole third row that could be the top two panels from the following page.

Aww, Elle, don't you want a puppy?!

I think that second panel is meant to be a joke? I dunno... it feels either like it needed a little more work as a joke or it's sort of unnecessary in the page.

Fine, I'll get him, just stop looking at me like that! Seriously, what is that look in the first panel?

No place that's described as "south central" has ever been a good thing. It could be south-central Candy Land and you'd still take a gun just in case of a peppermint stickup... shoot them in the candy heart, wrap them in a trash-bag and drop their body in the ice-cream floats.

Also, dude! You totally had room for the first panel of the next page up there. Look at all that empty space!

Randall, look out! There's a zombie behind you!

Aww, One-15, don't you want a puppy?!

Mustn't... look... at... empty space!

Auuugh! The empty space! It was right there at the end of the previous page! Begging for this first silent panel.

I don't think I've read enough to know for sure, but I do feel like Tom is emphasizing Aareck's interest in Elle here while writing Elle as oblivious. That's not exactly the relationship between Kaylee and Simon in Firefly, as Kaylee always showed interest in Simon, she just wasn't sure if he felt the same way until they made the movie.

Following this, I don't feel like a whole page of Aareck's commute was really needed. Maybe just the last panel where he checks the address in front of the building.

Aareck and Alec... what are they Hobbits? Biffer, Boffer, Bofer, Ron, Don, John, Kurt, Burt, Bart, Evan, Devin, Kevin...

The "ding!" sound effect at the top I think could use a little more contrast, maybe a wider white border around the text and maybe lay it on top of the company logo, becuase when I first saw it, I saw "6 Ding!"

Man, I've heard of hostile work environments, but this is ridiculous! Dude quits and the boss thinks the best way to get him to come back is to berate him as he's walking out the door? That's like domestic abuse. Chill out. Try some meditation, or Xanax, or maybe Hair Club would help take the edge off.

Randall needs to lighten up? Your last boss is apoplectic, looks like his head's gonna explode and shower the room in bald-juice.

I really need more contrast on those dialogue balloons. Several of the tails for balloons in these office pages are virtually invisible, like the middle two panels on this page. I know you're not putting borders on your dialogue balloons in general, but I think you probably should have broke with tradition for these pages.

Cynthia doesn't know what she's lost, man... a guy like you, who can appreciate the finer things in life. Like the rush of addrenaline when you see a high PH balance in a soil sample!

In retrospect, I would be fine with this entire scene starting on this page (above). You could cut Aareck's commute, walking into the building, asking for Alec and all that stuff with him quitting his job. I get that there's a bit of comic relief with the boss, I'm just not convinced it's worth three whole pages for that one joke about the bald guy who desperately needs to switch to decaf.

And then in other places I feel like the dialogue could be an easy way to shave some pages. At the end of the page where Alex says "I've always been a little jealous of you", there's plenty of room to add "because you got to stay with Randall when he disbanded the crew." It would have saved you a panel and it wouldn't have changed the meaning of the dialogue in any significant way. I'm also iffy on the need for this whole page to point out that Tim is the kind of guy who holds grudges -- that's better explained via the character interaction in the subsequent pages where Randall talks to Tim (a good case of show, don't tell). Speaking of which, this whole page where Randall presses a doorbell also seems unnecessary. I could maybe use the opening shot of the side of the building, although I honestly think the next page (below) is fine on its own.

Yes, hatred has a hard use-by date. After two years it immediately molds and that's when you start doing crazy shit like scrap-booking newspaper clippings and writing cryptic letters in haiku under assumed names.

Anyway, Tim lets Randall in and they dispense with the small talk. (I really think those could have been one page.)

Ack! A minute ago when I called those newspaper clippings and haiku letters crazy... you know I was kidding, right? Tim? Buddy?

Man, I'd have thought they'd have much better reconstructive surgery this far in the future!

On the other hand, it's nice to see Baron Underbheit is keeping busy.

I said no small talk!

Anyway, Randall says he's all business, but Tim's convinced it's still about Liz.

One Way or the other, I can never really tell them apart... Are you sure it wasn't One Direction?

Now this is getting interesting though, because I'm like 24 pages into the chapter and so far I've mostly heard talk of broken hearts, broken airplanes, and soil samples. Now we're talking about psychics and anti-psychic devices, that's cool!

Oh, uh, hi Liz. Oh me? Emotionally scarring children with my horryfing visage, but let's not talk about me. How have you been?

Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly repurpose the cheapest random objects we can find as props. It's the best we could do with the budget the network gave us.

It looks like Randall's gonna keep psychics out of his head with a giant slinky. :P

Fashionating!

Anyway, that being the end of Chapter 8, I think this fairly makes my point about the pacing of the story. Yes, there was some information in this chapter about the character relationships, but the only movements in the plot were that Alec returned to the team and Randall replaced his slinky-helmet.

Chapter 9.

The bags under your eyes alone should be a dead giveaway!

Also, it's the elusive comb! The rarest relic in all the galaxy! All these characters seem to have that Dragonball-hair syndrome.

Oh, I forgot to mention, the continents on Nextuus are named Primaris, Secundus and Tertiann. I suppose it could be worse, they could be A-ko, B-ko and C-ko.

Is it common for war orphans to enlist? Oh wait... there was that one guy...

Trust me kid, the Clone Wars were overrated.

Oh, for Pete's sake!

Your uncle sounds like A. Square.

Not sure his reaction to the haircut needed a whole page, but they did need to make him unrecognizable.

Wait... didn't she have a comb a minute ago? Maybe she was distracted by all his impure thoughts. But what's a little non-consensual probing between friends? Incidentally, Katja felt the probe was necessary because Jon was given adrenaline-activated powers by a corporate experiment...

On our world, robot technology has only reached three feet. We could only dream of having robots like you, tall enough to dunk! We have to settle for robots that are tall enough to reach the kitchen counter... with help.

The text balloon in panel 2 is a good example of why I'm not a big fan of the square dialogue balloons. Here it's created a parallel and/or bump-up tangent, and possibly a "fake panel". If you're not familiar with tangents, Chris Schweizer has a good article about them that's tailored for cartoonists like us. On the whole though, the square dialogue balloons in Nextuus seem to create these kinds of issues quite often.

A good handshake involves bone fractures, check.

That was really two panels worth of content, max.

Aww, Elle, don't you want a puppy?!

Elle twerks the engines and Randall returns without Tim. (Maybe this page isn't unnecessary, but it feels like a lot of room to say "it's good to see you again, Tim's not coming.")

Challenge Accepted!

The last panel there wasn't really necessary -- One-15 is carrying a bag at the top of the following page, where Aareck stays to help Elle. Oh wait! That page had five panels. :P I'm not sure it needed a second page though to show Aareck getting ... rejected? Dude, if you ask to stay and help the mechanic, she's going to put you to work... whether you're hitting on her or not.

I'm dying to know!

Oooh, psychics 101! You'll never have to ask anyone to pass the salt again. Does it work on pepper? What about buffets?

Okay, but if you're going to teach me, maybe you should wash that oil off your face first. I smoke a lot, I don't want to catch your face on fire.

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has forseen this. It is your destiny.

Oh, for Pete's sake!

Why do villains always put spotlights over their valuables? Why?!

Oh, that's not makeup, it's a scar. Anyway, that's the end of Katja's backstory for the moment and they rinse Jon's hair.

Given the context and the fact that Katja laughs, I'm thinking gray hair is supposed to be a joke? But without knowing why Jon is unhappy about it, I'm not sure I get the full effect. Have people joked about him being "old", like Aareck's objection to "pup"? Does it make him look like something or someone he wants to avoid? Even if it's just not liking looking old (eye-bags and all), I think it would make a snappier joke with a little additional response from Jon. Maybe, "Great, now if I can just remember where I left my cane/walker/Geritol/dentures."

Overall, I think all the elements of a really cool scifi story are here, I just think the script and page layouts could be a little tighter. In particular, I love the visual design of One-15, his ambiguous physiology (robot or armored organism?), and the use of him for comic effect. I also love the Waywachrie's Illuminati-like structure and I think their masks are pretty cool. They're described as "skull masks", but they look to me more like grinning ghosts because of their round shape. That's totally fine by me, if anything I think they would be a lot less cool if they looked like more realistic skulls. So a+ on design there, at least from me.

So there's my pitch. If you enjoy scifi stories with intrigue, psychic cabals, and a lot of personal relationships, check out Nextuus!

If you are a webcomic author and are interested in a review from me, you can check out my announcement and my review-request rules here.

If you enjoyed this and want to help me make more reviews, you can contribute on our Patreon or if you're short on funds you can also help by checking out and sharing my own comedy and laughtivist webcomic, Woohooligan!

Thanks to Tom, and to all of you reading, for sharing yourselves with us! Sam

[tripstations]

Delta says next big battle between airlines will be on the ground

The airline industry is experiencing strong financial performance — Delta Air Lines recently hit a record stock price and United Airline Holdings grew profits in its latest earnings, and the U.S. economy continues its decade-long run. Airline industry conditions are so good, long-time airline-stock hater Warren Buffett of Berkshire Hathaway became one of the sector’s biggest investors in recent years after a wave of consolidation brought the fleets closer to the almost-monopoly conditions he looks for in businesses. But other recent highs in air travel are not so positive: Airports all over the country setting new records in monthly passenger levels.

As the airport experience remains one of the worst “legs” in a traveler’s journey, major airlines flush with money for reinvestment are making the on-the-ground experience a greater focus of their efforts to out-compete rival carriers.

“I think the next area of competition in air travel is in the airport,” Paul Jacobson, executive v.p. and CFO of Delta said at the CNBC @Work Human Capital + Finance conference in Chicago last Tuesday. “How do you continue to streamline that the on-the-ground experience. It is a big part of how passengers rate the experience.”

In major metro areas, the two biggest issues in airport satisfaction are access to the airport (with so many major airports far from city centers) and the terminal itself, at No. 1, according to J.D. Power.

“The most common PR headline from any airport any month is ‘X airport sets new monthly passenger record,'” said Mike Taylor, J.D. Power’s travel practice leader.

But that does not necessarily mean it is good PR with so many airports so dated.

PhotoAlto/Thierry Foulon | Brand X Pictures | Getty Images

There are some aspects of the airport experience that airlines can’t do anything about. Only 6% more airports have been built in the U.S. since 1980, despite 181% more domestic passengers.

“They can’t build another four-line highway to the airport,” Taylor said. “Most of the airports are shoehorned into areas never meant to handle this much traffic.”

Those problems don’t end once at the airport, either: Many parking lots closest to terminals at some of the busiest U.S. airports are now completely full and closed on multiple days per week. This is the type of on-the-ground frustration that leads to missed flights, and missed flights lead to the blame being placed all around.

“People are more stressed on the airport and airlines side of things, and they blame both,” Taylor said.

For the airlines like Delta, it does not matter that some of the terminal experience is beyond their control. Taylor said that when an aircraft closes and sits on the ground because the FAA is holding them there, passengers do not complain about the FAA. “They paid the airline, and they pick up the cocktail napkin and swear at it.”

For more on tech, transformation and the future of work, join CNBC at the @ Work: People + Machines Summit in San Francisco on November 4. Leaders from Dropbox, Sas, McKinsey and more will teach us how to balance the needs of today with the possibilities of tomorrow, and the winning strategies to compete.

Scott Mayerowitz, executive editorial director of travel information site The Points Guy, said the airport experience is unique in the travel journey in being so bad, and it is an important part of the journey that is under-examined. “Until my head hits the pillow in a hotel room, I am on the go, and it all matters,” Mayerowitz said.

Delta is collecting as much data as it can from passengers to improve the travel experience. “We survey everything,” Jacobson told attended at the CNBC event in Chicago. “A lot of that comes down to the psychology of the customer and understanding what each leg in the journey makes the customer feel like.”

Wall Street is watching

Wall Street is focusing more on the airport experience in its analysis of airline stocks. Hunter Keay, a Wolfe Research analyst who covers Delta, wrote that the Delta CFO is correct in his focus on the airport as a competitive key. Keay wrote in a late 2018 research note that Delta’s major investment in “Investment-starved airports” like New York City’s LaGuardia “are not so much an act of generosity but a strategic decision that we believe will further widen DAL’s competitive advantage to peers by driving up costs for marginal competitors there that lack scale, pricing power, or both. … This is literally a 20-year competitive advantage DAL is building today, arguably the hardest one yet for competitors to copy.”

Delta is investing $12 billion over a five-year period investing in its airport infrastructure, primarily at New York City’s LaGuardia, Los Angeles International, Seattle-Tacoma International Airport, Salt Lake City International Airport and Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport.

“Airports have always been a challenge for airlines who haven’t been able to crack that code due to more pressing capital needs internally, fear of committing to longer-term, big dollar projects due to business cycle risk with questionable balance sheets, or the challenges of driving buy-in or consensus with the government agencies that run these airports. But it seems to us that DAL is figuring this thing out,” Keay wrote.

One of the terminal chokepoints where Delta made an investment is through a stake it owns in biometric screening company Clear. Jacobson pointed to the Clear investment as part of its efforts to streamline the passenger experience through investments in technology. “We’ve made big bets in technology in the past few years thinking we can turn it around into revenue generation,” the Delta CFO said at the CNBC event. Jacobson said technology like Clear should ultimately improve the experience beyond the security checkpoint.

“I think ultimately the technology around identification, whether facial recognition or fingerprints, is coming to all transactions,” Jacobson said.

“Delta has recognized that security is a horrible headache for people,” Mayerowitz said. “Clear is at many more airports than before because of the Delta investment and they’ve done saturation at their key hubs. ”

Mayerowitz, who is a Clear member, added, “In two to three minutes at LGA or JFK I can make it from the curb to the other side of security. Clear gets me to the front of the precheck line and I just put my bag in and walk through, and I’m done.”

The timing is right for airlines

A focus on future revenue is one of the reasons why Delta is making the investments now, before a recession hits and operating conditions weaken.

Yael Taqqu, a senior partner at management consultant McKinsey, who spoke on a panel with Jacobson at CNBC’s @Work Human Capital + Finance conference, said investments like the ones Delta is making now are designed to be “revenue enhancements” out ahead of the next downturn. “In a downturn, the wedge between digital haves and have nots, which is already wide, will get wider,” said Taqqu.

Taylor said the timing is right from an airline industry perspective too. “You have to have three things happen to really expand airports. The economy has to be good, the airline has to be making money, and policies have to be right. These days, we have all three of them working in the airlines favor. … When they are not making money, those things get put on hold. They would like to have everything set up for the passenger to be happy before getting on the craft.”

Airlines also are running out of ways to improve and “disaggregate” — price-tier — the in-cabin experience.

“Right now airlines have healthy profits and are reinvesting,” Mayerowitz said. “Delta likes to brag that they have the most inflight seatback TVs of any airline, and they’ve built a business around what they say is a superior product in the sky, and it commands a revenue premium, people willing to spend $10-$15 extra. But at the end of the day, there is only so much you can do to increase costs in the sky.” He added of Delta’s focus on the terminal, “They are right, especially as airlines cram more seats into planes and come up with hideous slim-line bathrooms just so they can get an extra row of seats in.”

Delta is among the airlines that have cut down bathroom size in some cabins to add an extra back row.

Airports are just pretty bus terminals. There is only so much you can do.

Scott Mayerowitz

The Points Guy executive editorial director

Some of the on-the-ground improvements won’t be available to all passengers — in fact, they are designed to find ways within the terminal to extract greater revenue and reward elite levels of passengers.

“Space dedicated to lounges will continue to grow,” Taylor said. “They are looking for more space in which to hand out perks and do the same thing as they are doing in the cabin … and trying to monetize some of it.”

Mayerowitz, who holds 19 credit cards offering access to many different terminal lounges, said that frequent flyers need better club options because classic lounges at big city terminals can often be “packed.”

Lounge investment is not limited to the airlines. American Express has its own series of luxury lounges for elite car holders, the Centurion Lounge. “Centurion has really upped the game in design and food offering,” Mayerowitz said.

Airlines including American Airlines and United (Polaris Lounge) have added multiple-tiers of lounges in addition to the classic options (e.g. AA’s Admirals Club).

“The lounge is crowded for most of these airlines and they are trying to differentiate it. … If you’re paying $10,000 for a one-way flight, you better be getting something better than a $450 traveler on the same trip. That’s why they have separate entrances for check in,” Mayerowitz said. He added that international travel already features some of these perks, but a passenger flying domestic will has not historically seen this level of service except to limited cross-country routes.

Luxury perks also have extended to travel between terminals. United offers Mercedes Benz cars for elite passengers that need to transfer between terminals for ground connections, a perk that Mayerowitz says can make quite an impression. “Elite members are whisked in these luxury cars around big planes to their next flights.”

Delta offers Porsches; American Airlines uses Cadillacs.

All the airlines will spend “multi billions of dollars,” in all, Taylor said.

Better food offerings and private dining on demand for top-tier travelers is coming. “Why have cheese cubes and crackers at the lounge when you can pay for fresh made?” Mayerowitz said. His credit card collections makes sure he always has options and he is seeing more of the benefits as lounges improve.

“I was just in Las Vegas and went to a lounge, got in thanks to my Chase Sapphire Reserve card and it was great. Nice views and good snacks and a perfect place to unwind before heading out on the next part of my journey.”

But there are limits to how far the airport improvement era can take the passenger.

Mayerowitz is not getting his hopes up too much. “Airports are just pretty bus terminals. There is only so much you can do.”

The post Delta says next big battle between airlines will be on the ground appeared first on Tripstations.

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[mrcoreymonroe]

What’s Next for Southwest Airlines? An Elite Flyer’s Wishlist

What’s next for Southwest Airlines? – Original Photo: Stephen M. Keller for Southwest Airlines

In 2016, I wrote a piece titled Nine Reasons Why I Think Southwest is the Best. For me, those nine reasons stand, even today. I still fly Southwest enough to renew my A-List elite flyer status annually. They are still my first choice when booking travel. There was a time not long ago that I would go out of my way to fly Southwest, and the overwhelming majority of my 20-30 trips a year were with the LUV airline. However, I would be remiss not to recognize that my mix of airlines flown is increasingly more diverse.

The airline’s piece of my overall business has been shrinking. This is a trend that I’ve been cognizant of on the periphery for a few years now. It is something I have long ignored because so much of what makes me an AvGeek is tied to my love, study, and ridership of Southwest. Many of my best aviation memories are linked to the airline. In December of 2017, I finished my most recent academic pursuit and received an M.A. in Organizational Leadership. My academic team and I frequently joked I minored in “Southwest Airlines” because so many of my projects focused on the company, their culture, and leadership philosophy. All of this, plus gobs of friends who are Southwest employees, I honestly feel as if I’m an honorary part of the family.

Here’s the tough question: If Southwest is always my first choice when picking a flight, why am I riding the other guys with more frequency? I have given this a lot of thought and I don’t think that this trend is because Southwest is doing anything particularly wrong. Rather, I think the competition has, in some cases, become way more competitive.

I have long kept a wishlist for the airline. Perhaps the implementation of a few of these would help the airline pull ahead of the competition where, in my mind, they have historically always been.  Without further ado, my wishlist, presented in David Letterman-reverse countdown style.

Southwest drink coupons. Upcoming SWA flight? Thirsty? Leave a comment and we’ll hook you up. One per person, limit five. Be sure your email address is current.

7. Coupons I can use

Southwest Airlines occasionally sends Rapid Rewards members coupons redeemable for free adult beverages. The magic ratio seems to be four coupons for ten one-way flights.

Note: The definition of one-way flight is something that seems to confuse folks. If I want to fly from Kansas City to San Antonio, I can pick a non-stop or I can connect in Dallas. Either way, that’s a one-way flight. Unless I book MCI-DAL and DAL-SAT separately. But I digress.

Here’s the problem: I don’t drink alcohol. Now, folks can opt-out of the program, but that’s leaving a perk on the table. I figure I might as well take the coupons and give them away. (Side note: If you spot me in the airport or at an event, say hi. Chances are I’ll have a coupon for you.)

While I love sharing the LUV and being a brand ambassador, I’d really prefer that these hard-earned coupons were redeemable for something I could actually use. As an example: Coupons for free or discounted WiFi would be nice, assuming the airline can get their IFC provider in check…but more on that later. Heck, even the ability to convert coupons into kick tails (employee recognition devices) would be neat.

Southwest’s B/E Aerospace Meridian seats – Photo: Southwest Airlines

6. Accelerate new seat roll-out and extend deployment to the -700s as well.

Over three years ago, I wrote about Southwest’s new B/E Aerospace Meridian seats. In my opinion, they are a dramatic improvement over the old Innovator II seats, which are long past their prime. The extra space afforded by the Meridians is much appreciated, and something I look forward to. There is a major disparity between the comfort of new or updated planes, and the rest of the fleet. I’m sad to report that the vast majority of planes servicing my own Midwest-centric travel don’t have the Meridians. I’d estimate 75% of my flights still sport the structurally-tired Innovator IIs. Some of my recent flights have been with Innovator IIs reupholstered with the blue covering initially introduced with the Meridians. This doesn’t bode well for my hopes of seat upgrades.

5. I’m ready for buy on-board.

After the much-maligned termination of peanuts from onboard service, the airline’s go-to snack is now the lowly pretzel. Some flights offer Belvita breakfast crackers, Wheat Thins, or something comparable. But all of these options are crackers, and that no longer cuts it. The airline’s average miles flown per flight has risen nearly 50% since 1999, and it generally rises each year. Southwest offers transcons, and will soon launch service to Hawaii. It’s time to offer something more substantial. I’m happy to pay, or maybe apply the value of my drink coupons to discount a snack. To sweeten the attraction of this, I’m going to use two words that are irresistible to airline execs, even those at America’s most LUV’d airline: Ancillary revenue.

Side note: I’m writing this bit while en-route from RSW to MKE wishing I had time to stop for a quick meal before boarding. I’m now daydreaming of buy-on-board options offered by other airlines. The always-solid Alaska Airlines buy-on-board comes to mind. In my best Homer Simpson impression: “Mmmm, cheese plate.”

4. USB power would be nice

As discussed above, Southwest’s flights are getting longer. Add that the airline (correctly, in my opinion) opted for a BYOD (bring-your-0wn-device) entertainment solution. A need for power here seems a no-brainer. Furthermore, the airline recently announced expanded access to their entertainment library, which now includes on-demand movies which used to cost $5 each. This is great news, but again underscores the need for power.

I had the opportunity to ask Southwest CEO Gary Kelly about power options at a media event a few years back. Even then, the lack of power cast a shadow on the new Meridian seats and cabin refresh which were big news. Mr. Kelly said it was something they had considered and it might still be an option. I’m always happy to compromise; perhaps the airline could partner with a company such as FuelRod to sell/swap or rent chargers. The way I see it, this would be a very “Southwest” approach to solving the large and ever-growing problem.

Again with those magic words: Ancillary revenue.

A look under a Global Eagle Ku radome – Photo: JL Johnson

3. How about some reliable Wifi?

Four years ago I wrote about Southwest’s BYOD entertainment and reviewed their IFC (in-flight connectivity) provider, then known as Row-44. The IFC portion of that story has not aged well. Constant unreliability and slowness of Southwest’s IFC solution have become a major pain point for customers and employees alike. As reported by The Business Journals, the issue has become so bad that the airline has repeatedly addressed it with cabin crew through various memos. While the complaints have existed for a while, the potency of the problem seems recently particularly pronounced.

Southwest’s IFC issues are not new. This came up at a Southwest-hosted media event in late 2015. Even then, shortcomings in expectations with the vendor were acknowledged by airline senior officials. The airline was said to be working with their partner GEE to address this in the coming months. I have long hoped for the improvements to come. Sorry to say, no progress that I can measure. If anything, it has gotten worse.

I reached out to Southwest for comment on their go-forward strategy. A representative replied with the following:

In December 2016 we issued a press release with the following: In mid-2017, Customers will be able to browse the Internet at increased speeds as a result of an expected bandwidth increase of at least three times more than what they currently experience, with an additional expected bandwidth increase in mid-2018. Connectivity speeds are expected to increase.

Global Eagle Entertainment has increased bandwidth speeds by nearly 7x compared to late 2016.

The company’s official position stands in stark contrast to my reality, and the experience faced by the droves of folks complaining on Twitter. How many have simply given up, accepted the fact that GEE is terrible, and don’t even bother trying? Is this the result of too many A-List Preferred members hogging bandwidth? Is it a hardware issue, or is GEE simply letting their acquired IFC product die on the vine?

So, what’s next for IFC? Tara Bamburg, Southwest’s Manager for WiFi and Inflight Entertainment, was able to confirm when I contacted her that that “MAX deliveries are coming from Boeing line-fit with Panasonic WiFi equipment.” This was music to my ears, but since reaching out the airline has since terminated their relationship with Panasonic.

Southwest declined to comment on the possibility of replacing the existing GEE product on already equipped planes. Allowing a solution with such a terrible track record to persist is a mistake. The airline would do well to hurry on a solution as IFC offerings by airlines across North America are only getting better.  Of note: Ted Christie, President of Spirit Airlines is now claiming that “By Summer 2019, every plane in our fleet should be fully equipped with Thales’ state-of-the-art connectivity service. Consider the reality of that statement: I’m comparing Southwest to Spirit. This would have been unheard of even a few years ago.

Free bags are SWAwesome! But that means everyone checks them. – Photo: Southwest Airlines

2. Priority Bags

With Southwest Airlines, every passenger has the option to check up to two bags free of charge. Understandably so, lots of folks do it. As a frequent business traveler, this is great news for me in that there is typically plenty of room for my carry-on.

However, I do sometimes check a bag and find myself impatiently waiting at crowded carousels. Some airlines have priority baggage for elite flyers or those who pay for premium seating. I have experienced it a few times while treating myself. There’s something special about your bags being the first to arrive and being able to get on with your day. I’d love it if Southwest would do something like this for A-Listers. Furthermore, perhaps they could offer priority bag treatment as a “buy up” for folks who find value in such things. Using those magic words again, this is an excellent opportunity for more ancillary revenue.

1. Premium seating

Sometimes I want some extra room. The Meridian seats help, but as noted above, they are just too uncommon. For the moment, that means when I want to treat myself I have to take my business elsewhere, which I hate to do. I have long said that Spirit Airlines’ BFS (Big Front Seat) strikes the best balance between comfort and value in the American skies. I would love the ability to splurge on an equivalent Southwest option to the BFS. If not a BFS-compatible seat, how about a European short-haul business configuration with a blocked middle seat instead? An empty middle seat works wonders in personal space gains, and a removable headrest cover or seat sign would make for a customizable cabin solution with minimal investment and maximum flexibility.

For years, this level of complexity simply was not possible due to technology limitations. However, in 2017 the airline rolled out a new reservations system developed by Amadeus IT Group referred to internally as “OneRes.” Southwest President Tom Nealon has frequently been quoted stating that OneRes is “..the backbone to much of the airline’s technology.”  Now that the airline has the base-level capability to allow folks to pay for premium seating, why not use it? By the way, the new Amadeus IT solution came in at a whopping price tag of $500m, but was expected to pay for itself in “new revenue” through new “capabilities.” Again with the magic words: Ancillary revenue.

A Southwest Airlines 737 departs Midway Airport leaving behind the iconic Chicago skyline – Photo: Jim Wissemes (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

Conclusion:

I love Southwest. For years they have connected me to what is most important in my life and I’m happy to be a card-carrying A-List elite flyer. I am passionate about the airline and want what is best for it. I don’t expect that I have all of the answers but would like to think that adoption of even a few of the items I listed off would aid the airline in remaining competitive for the long term.

For most of their recent history, Southwest has been hard at work mastering huge business transformation projects: Integrating AirTran and launching international service, overhauling the backbone of the IT infrastructure, and most recently hurrying to retire old 737-300 and -500 planes in prep for the introduction of the new MAX variant. But all that work has been executed. What seems to remain is what I perceive to be a slow period for business transformation while previously laughable competition is now hot on their tail.

My call to action for Southwest leadership is simple: Embrace your warrior spirit and innovate as if your continued success depends on it – because it does!

The post What’s Next for Southwest Airlines? An Elite Flyer’s Wishlist appeared first on AirlineReporter.

from AirlineReporter http://bit.ly/2B88DCf

[theliterateape]

When Crowdfunding Resembles Opportunism or The Greed in Your Ask is Getting Obvious

By Don Hall

I most recently joined the World of Crowdfunding with my new Patreon Campaign. I’m torn as, in general, I’ve seen far too many of these efforts resemble either a corrupt civil servant trying to raise money for bail or legal fees, someone desperately using it as a replacement for medical insurance or Ian Belknap using GoFundMe to help pay for an office space so he doesn’t have to deal with his kids at home while churning out pedantic screeds on Faceborg. 

Go ahead and Google “crowdfunding abuse” and the list is long and ugly.

When Angela Vela asked me to perform a piece about Greed for her monthly show The Seven Deadly Sins, crowdfunding abuse was my target.

Dear Roger –

I know I haven’t been in touch for a while and I apologize right off the bat for not reaching out to you when you got your new job three years ago or when you got married two years ago or when you and your wife had that baby last year. Obviously, you were in my thoughts but I never took the time to connect after college. My bad, bro.

Remember the time when we both got so drunk that we ended up streaking in the Dillons parking lot? LMAO! I barely do. Thanks for bailing us both out, right?

Anyways, I’m writing to you now because I’m kind of in a bind. I wrote some bad checks about two months ago—I totally thought I had them covered but the places cashed the checks before the date I put on them—I thought you couldn’t do that but apparently you can—and the bank is totally fucking me over. Thank god I’m living with my mom, right?

Seriously, is there any chance I could borrow, like, $450 for a while until I get this all straightened out? I’m good for it, bro.

If it is, here’s my Paypal account or you can just send it directly through Chase Pay.

Thanks.

Yo, Rog!!

Long time, no see, right? How’s the wife and kid? I hope great!

The reason I’m writing is to first, apologize for not getting you that $400 back yet. I know it’s been a couple years but things have been moving really fast around here and I’m thinking you’ll thank me once you see how I spent the money I owe you. If you think of it as an investment into something amazing, I’m sure of it.

I moved out of my mom’s house into her garage (I pay rent so it’s not like charity or anything) and decided that I was going to go into a brand new field. Yes, my degree in Contemporary Greek Philosophy is valuable to me but is not what a sustainable career is made of, right?  So I looked out into the world in search of my calling, right? And it hit me right in the jaw—social media. I spend a huge amount of my time writing funny things on Facebook and Twitter, why not parlay that into a full-time career? So...

I’m in Chicago now, and I’m going to take classes at the famed Second City Training Center. You know, the place that spawned the careers of Bill Murray, Stephen Colbert, that guy from the “Sledgehammer” TV show and the voice of Homer Simpson? I figure that a degree from such an esteemed comedic institution is bound to bolster my street cred with companies looking for clever and sarcastic social media responses so I’m currently enrolled.

Here’s the thing: the $400 I owe you went to pay for some of my first eight weeks but once I get my degree and a job writing the Funny Ha-Ha, I’ll pay you back with interest. OR...

Below is a link to my new Kickstarter Campaign to raise the money to pay for all 15 levels of Second City training. I only need to raise $22,000 for this and after all those levels, I’m pretty much guaranteed a spot on SNL which would be even better than writing for Facebook. LOL! Winky emoji.

Any amount is acceptable and you know I’m good for it. A donation of $500 will get you an autographed photo and front row seats at a live taping of SNL!

Thanks!

Dear Roger –

After Second City level 7 and my continued work at Boston Market, I wanted to die every single day of my life and it took me several years to realize it was because of the environment I was in. So, I picked the next best place: San Francisco, which is close to my dad, since we’ve never gotten to have much of a relationship and I like the weather up here. I found a job (I was hired the same day as my interview, in fact) and I put a bunch of debt on a shiny new credit card to afford the move.

I got the job thinking I was all set to write those funny quips on the company’s social media (I mean, I did have seven levels at the world famous Second City, right?) but I was told I’d have to work in support for an entire year before I would be able to move to a different department. A whole year answering calls and talking to customers just for the hope that someday I’d be able to make memes and Twitter jokes. But that’s neither here nor there. Let’s get back to the situation at hand, shall we?

So here I am, 27-years-old, balancing all sorts of debt and trying to pave a life for myself that doesn’t involve crying in the bathtub every week. Every single one of my coworkers is struggling. They’re taking side jobs, they’re living at home. One of them started a GoFundMe because she couldn’t pay her rent. She ended up leaving the company and moving east, somewhere the minimum wage could double as a living wage. Another wrote on those neat whiteboards we’ve got on every floor begging for help because he was bound to be homeless in two weeks. Fortunately, someone helped him out. At least, I think they did. I actually haven’t seen him in the past few months. Do you think he’s okay? Another guy who got hired, and ultimately let go, was undoubtedly homeless. He brought a big bag with him and stocked up on all those snacks they make sure are on every floor. 

I haven’t bought groceries since I started this job. Not because I’m lazy, but because I got this ten pound bag of rice before I moved here and my meals at home (including the one I’m having as I write this) consist, by and large, of that. Because I can’t afford to buy groceries.

Will you pay my phone bill for me? I just got a text from T-Mobile telling me my bill is due. 

Look, I’ll make you a deal. You don’t have to pay my phone bill. I’ll just disconnect my phone. And I’ll disconnect my home internet, too, even though it’s the only way I can do work for my freelance gig that I haven’t been able to do since I moved here because I’m constantly too stressed to focus on anything but going to sleep as soon as I’m not at work. 

If you could help me out, my PayPal is paypal.me/jimmyzee, my Venmo is jimmyzee (no hyphen). Square Cash is cash.me/$JimZee.

Thanks, bro.

Rogerio!!

You've been so generous in the past and I'm trying to raise money to get a plane ticket and funds for the final auditions for the 2016 season of American Idol.

I went to Disney World a few years ago and did the American Idol experience attraction at MGM. I auditioned and got on the show. They do 5 shows per day where an audience picks the winner of 3 performers. At the end of the day, they have a big show where the 5 winners compete for a Dream Ticket. 

The Dream Ticket is a pass to get to the front of the American Idol Audition Line. I performed and won the small show during the day, then won the final show at the end of the day, getting me the Dream Ticket. They don't expire and you can use them at any auditions. I thought I had lost it, but in a stroke of luck (and possibly fate), I just found it in my files at home.

This could be my last chance to do it and I can't live my life wondering,"What if?" I have this amazing opportunity and hoprfully, with your help, I can live my dream and live life to the very fullest!

Thank you for the chance!!

Hey Everyone!

As many of you know, I am a HUGE fan of ULTRA Music Festival in MIAMI. This will be my 14th year attending and marks my 2nd year moderating the Facebook group. I admittedly have put in TOO MANY hours running the group, making sure it is free from spam and trolls. It has been a lot of fun but it has also stolen a ton of my time. I am hoping that some of the friendships I've made will inspire people to be generous and help me make this trip possible.

Normally March is an abundant month for me but this year I am financially "running on fumes." I have spent the last 2.5 months recovering from a broken ankle, which has kept me from working. In this time I have used up all my reserve cash and now with my trip to Florida right around the corner my credit card bills are looming. I will use this money to pay for the flight, ticket, lodging and food for during the trip. It would be the best birthday present if I got a great response.

I will be eternally grateful to everyone who helps out and would LOVE to meet up with you and take some photos at the festival. Thank you so much for your support. <3

–Jimmy Zee

Roger –

I know why you haven’t returned any of my recent texts or direct messages. You don’t believe that I’m actually sick and I guess I don’t blame you. I can assure you, the cancer is real and I don’t have anyone else to turn to. I need $4,500 to help fund a trip to St. John where there is a shaman there who they say can pray the cancer out of me. Outside shot but I’m also told that when your prognosis is this bad, you gotta bucket list that shit, right?

I know I have no right to even ask but, in case you find it in your heart to help an old (31 years is now OLD!) college buddy out, my GoFundMe profile is linked below.

Jim

[mrcoreymonroe]

What’s Next for Southwest Airlines? An Elite Flyer’s Wishlist

What’s next for Southwest Airlines? – Original Photo: Stephen M. Keller for Southwest Airlines

In 2016, I wrote a piece titled Nine Reasons Why I Think Southwest is the Best. For me, those nine reasons stand, even today. I still fly Southwest enough to renew my A-List elite flyer status annually. They are still my first choice when booking travel. There was a time not long ago that I would go out of my way to fly Southwest, and the overwhelming majority of my 20-30 trips a year were with the LUV airline. However, I would be remiss not to recognize that my mix of airlines flown is increasingly more diverse.

The airline’s piece of my overall business has been shrinking. This is a trend that I’ve been cognizant of on the periphery for a few years now. It is something I have long ignored because so much of what makes me an AvGeek is tied to my love, study, and ridership of Southwest. Many of my best aviation memories are linked to the airline. In December of 2017, I finished my most recent academic pursuit and received an M.A. in Organizational Leadership. My academic team and I frequently joked I minored in “Southwest Airlines” because so many of my projects focused on the company, their culture, and leadership philosophy. All of this, plus gobs of friends who are Southwest employees, I honestly feel as if I’m an honorary part of the family.

Here’s the tough question: If Southwest is always my first choice when picking a flight, why am I riding the other guys with more frequency? I have given this a lot of thought and I don’t think that this trend is because Southwest is doing anything particularly wrong. Rather, I think the competition has, in some cases, become way more competitive.

I have long kept a wishlist for the airline. Perhaps the implementation of a few of these would help the airline pull ahead of the competition where, in my mind, they have historically always been.  Without further ado, my wishlist, presented in David Letterman-reverse countdown style.

Southwest drink coupons. Upcoming SWA flight? Thirsty? Leave a comment and we’ll hook you up. One per person, limit five. Be sure your email address is current.

7. Coupons I can use

Southwest Airlines occasionally sends Rapid Rewards members coupons redeemable for free adult beverages. The magic ratio seems to be four coupons for ten one-way flights.

Note: The definition of one-way flight is something that seems to confuse folks. If I want to fly from Kansas City to San Antonio, I can pick a non-stop or I can connect in Dallas. Either way, that’s a one-way flight. Unless I book MCI-DAL and DAL-SAT separately. But I digress.

Here’s the problem: I don’t drink alcohol. Now, folks can opt-out of the program, but that’s leaving a perk on the table. I figure I might as well take the coupons and give them away. (Side note: If you spot me in the airport or at an event, say hi. Chances are I’ll have a coupon for you.)

While I love sharing the LUV and being a brand ambassador, I’d really prefer that these hard-earned coupons were redeemable for something I could actually use. As an example: Coupons for free or discounted WiFi would be nice, assuming the airline can get their IFC provider in check…but more on that later. Heck, even the ability to convert coupons into kick tails (employee recognition devices) would be neat.

Southwest’s B/E Aerospace Meridian seats – Photo: Southwest Airlines

6. Accelerate new seat roll-out and extend deployment to the -700s as well.

Over three years ago, I wrote about Southwest’s new B/E Aerospace Meridian seats. In my opinion, they are a dramatic improvement over the old Innovator II seats, which are long past their prime. The extra space afforded by the Meridians is much appreciated, and something I look forward to. There is a major disparity between the comfort of new or updated planes, and the rest of the fleet. I’m sad to report that the vast majority of planes servicing my own Midwest-centric travel don’t have the Meridians. I’d estimate 75% of my flights still sport the structurally-tired Innovator IIs. Some of my recent flights have been with Innovator IIs reupholstered with the blue covering initially introduced with the Meridians. This doesn’t bode well for my hopes of seat upgrades.

5. I’m ready for buy on-board.

After the much-maligned termination of peanuts from onboard service, the airline’s go-to snack is now the lowly pretzel. Some flights offer Belvita breakfast crackers, Wheat Thins, or something comparable. But all of these options are crackers, and that no longer cuts it. The airline’s average miles flown per flight has risen nearly 50% since 1999, and it generally rises each year. Southwest offers transcons, and will soon launch service to Hawaii. It’s time to offer something more substantial. I’m happy to pay, or maybe apply the value of my drink coupons to discount a snack. To sweeten the attraction of this, I’m going to use two words that are irresistible to airline execs, even those at America’s most LUV’d airline: Ancillary revenue.

Side note: I’m writing this bit while en-route from RSW to MKE wishing I had time to stop for a quick meal before boarding. I’m now daydreaming of buy-on-board options offered by other airlines. The always-solid Alaska Airlines buy-on-board comes to mind. In my best Homer Simpson impression: “Mmmm, cheese plate.”

4. USB power would be nice

As discussed above, Southwest’s flights are getting longer. Add that the airline (correctly, in my opinion) opted for a BYOD (bring-your-0wn-device) entertainment solution. A need for power here seems a no-brainer. Furthermore, the airline recently announced expanded access to their entertainment library, which now includes on-demand movies which used to cost $5 each. This is great news, but again underscores the need for power.

I had the opportunity to ask Southwest CEO Gary Kelly about power options at a media event a few years back. Even then, the lack of power cast a shadow on the new Meridian seats and cabin refresh which were big news. Mr. Kelly said it was something they had considered and it might still be an option. I’m always happy to compromise; perhaps the airline could partner with a company such as FuelRod to sell/swap or rent chargers. The way I see it, this would be a very “Southwest” approach to solving the large and ever-growing problem.

Again with those magic words: Ancillary revenue.

A look under a Global Eagle Ku radome – Photo: JL Johnson

3. How about some reliable Wifi?

Four years ago I wrote about Southwest’s BYOD entertainment and reviewed their IFC (in-flight connectivity) provider, then known as Row-44. The IFC portion of that story has not aged well. Constant unreliability and slowness of Southwest’s IFC solution have become a major pain point for customers and employees alike. As reported by The Business Journals, the issue has become so bad that the airline has repeatedly addressed it with cabin crew through various memos. While the complaints have existed for a while, the potency of the problem seems recently particularly pronounced.

Southwest’s IFC issues are not new. This came up at a Southwest-hosted media event in late 2015. Even then, shortcomings in expectations with the vendor were acknowledged by airline senior officials. The airline was said to be working with their partner GEE to address this in the coming months. I have long hoped for the improvements to come. Sorry to say, no progress that I can measure. If anything, it has gotten worse.

I reached out to Southwest for comment on their go-forward strategy. A representative replied with the following:

In December 2016 we issued a press release with the following: In mid-2017, Customers will be able to browse the Internet at increased speeds as a result of an expected bandwidth increase of at least three times more than what they currently experience, with an additional expected bandwidth increase in mid-2018. Connectivity speeds are expected to increase.

Global Eagle Entertainment has increased bandwidth speeds by nearly 7x compared to late 2016.

The company’s official position stands in stark contrast to my reality, and the experience faced by the droves of folks complaining on Twitter. How many have simply given up, accepted the fact that GEE is terrible, and don’t even bother trying? Is this the result of too many A-List Preferred members hogging bandwidth? Is it a hardware issue, or is GEE simply letting their acquired IFC product die on the vine?

So, what’s next for IFC? Tara Bamburg, Southwest’s Manager for WiFi and Inflight Entertainment, was able to confirm when I contacted her that that “MAX deliveries are coming from Boeing line-fit with Panasonic WiFi equipment.” This was music to my ears, but since reaching out the airline has since terminated their relationship with Panasonic.

Southwest declined to comment on the possibility of replacing the existing GEE product on already equipped planes. Allowing a solution with such a terrible track record to persist is a mistake. The airline would do well to hurry on a solution as IFC offerings by airlines across North America are only getting better.  Of note: Ted Christie, President of Spirit Airlines is now claiming that “By Summer 2019, every plane in our fleet should be fully equipped with Thales’ state-of-the-art connectivity service. Consider the reality of that statement: I’m comparing Southwest to Spirit. This would have been unheard of even a few years ago.

Free bags are SWAwesome! But that means everyone checks them. – Photo: Southwest Airlines

2. Priority Bags

With Southwest Airlines, every passenger has the option to check up to two bags free of charge. Understandably so, lots of folks do it. As a frequent business traveler, this is great news for me in that there is typically plenty of room for my carry-on.

However, I do sometimes check a bag and find myself impatiently waiting at crowded carousels. Some airlines have priority baggage for elite flyers or those who pay for premium seating. I have experienced it a few times while treating myself. There’s something special about your bags being the first to arrive and being able to get on with your day. I’d love it if Southwest would do something like this for A-Listers. Furthermore, perhaps they could offer priority bag treatment as a “buy up” for folks who find value in such things. Using those magic words again, this is an excellent opportunity for more ancillary revenue.

1. Premium seating

Sometimes I want some extra room. The Meridian seats help, but as noted above, they are just too uncommon. For the moment, that means when I want to treat myself I have to take my business elsewhere, which I hate to do. I have long said that Spirit Airlines’ BFS (Big Front Seat) strikes the best balance between comfort and value in the American skies. I would love the ability to splurge on an equivalent Southwest option to the BFS. If not a BFS-compatible seat, how about a European short-haul business configuration with a blocked middle seat instead? An empty middle seat works wonders in personal space gains, and a removable headrest cover or seat sign would make for a customizable cabin solution with minimal investment and maximum flexibility.

For years, this level of complexity simply was not possible due to technology limitations. However, in 2017 the airline rolled out a new reservations system developed by Amadeus IT Group referred to internally as “OneRes.” Southwest President Tom Nealon has frequently been quoted stating that OneRes is “..the backbone to much of the airline’s technology.”  Now that the airline has the base-level capability to allow folks to pay for premium seating, why not use it? By the way, the new Amadeus IT solution came in at a whopping price tag of $500m, but was expected to pay for itself in “new revenue” through new “capabilities.” Again with the magic words: Ancillary revenue.

A Southwest Airlines 737 departs Midway Airport leaving behind the iconic Chicago skyline – Photo: Jim Wissemes (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

Conclusion:

I love Southwest. For years they have connected me to what is most important in my life and I’m happy to be a card-carrying A-List elite flyer. I am passionate about the airline and want what is best for it. I don’t expect that I have all of the answers but would like to think that adoption of even a few of the items I listed off would aid the airline in remaining competitive for the long term.

For most of their recent history, Southwest has been hard at work mastering huge business transformation projects: Integrating AirTran and launching international service, overhauling the backbone of the IT infrastructure, and most recently hurrying to retire old 737-300 and -500 planes in prep for the introduction of the new MAX variant. But all that work has been executed. What seems to remain is what I perceive to be a slow period for business transformation while previously laughable competition is now hot on their tail.

My call to action for Southwest leadership is simple: Embrace your warrior spirit and innovate as if your continued success depends on it – because it does!

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