#my fingers hurt again

[wishchip106]

i’ve been using my brain more than its used to

gonna think about gay mutant road trip hope my brain doesn’t explode

[ratcandy]

had a conversation with my mom and now i'm curious

If unsure, go grab yourself a pencil and compare to these examples:

"Correct" ways to hold a pencil:

(if you didn't know there were names for these, yea I had no idea either until I started looking stuff up lmao)

"Wrong" ways to hold a pencil:

I'm mostly curious as someone who has always held her pencil wrong. No matter what teachers/my mom ever did to try and teach me (pencil grips, elastic bands, etc) it just never worked. I wanna know how universal this experience is hdKJH

(rb for sample size, etc etc, the usual)

[sky-scribbles]

There's some kind of connecting thread - and I can't quite articulate what it is - between Laudna's reaction to Bor'dor's betrayal, her reaction to Ashton taking the fire shard, and Orym carrying Otohan's sword.

In all three situations, someone deeply, deeply hurt did something that was grounded in their personal grief. And in all three cases, Laudna's reaction was of extreme, personal betrayal. (This isn't critical of Laudna, btw; she's a fascinating character and I think Marisha is doing an incredible job of leaning into the reality of how trauma can make you act in heightened, messy ways that are very difficult for everyone around you.)

Everyone was hurt and shaken by what happened with Bor'dor and Ashton, and understandably so, but I think it's telling that Laudna phrased both events as, specifically, a betrayal. 'I can't be betrayed again,' as she drains the life from Bor'dor (as opposed to, say, Orym's attitude toward killing Bor'dor, which was less 'we need to kill him because he betrayed us' and more 'this is a grim necessity, because we are at war.') Ashton does something incredibly ill-judged, and Laudna's interepretation of it is 'they betrayed us.'

Orym takes Otohan's sword, and Laudna sees it, again, as a personal affront. She challenges him for having the audacity to carry it. The sword killed her. (It also killed half the people in the room, including Orym.)

Something... something about how Laudna saw Ashton trying to absorb a powerful magical artefact because he'd convinced himself it was the right thing to do, and felt so injured that she ran into the forest for a night. Something about how Laudna tried to absorb a magical artefact because she'd convinced herself that it was the right thing to do, and felt injured by Orym's defiance.

I don't have a clear point here; Laudna isn't a character I've studied as closely as some others (and I would very much appreciate anyone who has been analysing her more deeply offering any input!) But one thought I had is this: Laudna once said that the worst thing that could have happened to her has already happened. And I think maybe Laudna sees what happened to her as the worst thing that could happen to anyone. It seems hard for her to understand how much the actions of those around her - be it Bor'dor being radicalised, Ashton going about their attempt to understand themself in entirely the wrong way, Orym trying to reclaim a painful piece of his past and turn it into a promise - can be rooted in a pain that might be equal to her own.

Of course, it's hard to tell how much of it is Laudna at this point and how much is Delilah, but... honestly, it is such a bold choice for Marisha to do this. Because this is what trauma does. It makes things feel personal that might not be directed at you at all. It makes your grief into an enormous monolith that towers over your life, and can overshadow, in your head, anyone else's. It makes you want to protect yourself in every way possible when a flicker of it occurs again.

And... I think it's another sign of how much Delilah is taking from Laudna. Because who in this story has been fixated on their own grief and loss, to the point of ignoring the pain they cause in their attempt to fix that loss at any cost, than Delilah Briarwood?

[gayvampyr]

welp i guess my rheumatologist put in my health summary that he thinks im making up my physical health issues because im “mentally unstable” (modern day hysterical woman syndrome) which may very well completely invalidate and crush any chance i had at getting accommodations. i knew he didn’t believe me and was immediately dismissive the moment i walked into his office but it still hurts to have it blatantly written down on my diagnostic papers. he saw that was i on zoloft and just ran with his half baked bullshit assumptions about me without taking a second to consider i might be seeking help for real issues

[justaz]

arthur works up the nerve to confess his feelings for merlin pre-magic reveal and merlin has to stare the man he loves in the eye and reject him. arthur, heartbroken bc he had been told repeatedly by all his and merlin’s friends that his feelings were reciprocated and to take the risk, doesn’t cry bc his father taught him to never show weakness but maybe merlin can’t see the tears clawing their way into his eyes bc the room sure is getting blurry for some reason. he asks, no, he demands to know why not. he had been paying attention and he’s completely sure that merlin was flirting back with him, that his feelings were reciprocated - everyone said so. hell, half if not all of camelot has participated in a betting pool bc they’ve been so obvious with their feelings. merlin tries to give vague answers without telling him straight up and their argument escalates into a near screaming match where merlin says “you don’t love me, you love a version of me you believe to be true. you don’t know me, you can’t love me”

[kairithemang0]

it's so damn sad that i have 500+ of you and no one gives a shit that i am curled up on the floor crying holding my old stuffed cat because it's the only thing that hasn't left me and trying not to have a full on break down and jump out a window, but you will just at the chances to correct my shitty behaviors the moment i even momentarily fuck up. suck my dick/not a threat. jesus christ

i am tired. take what i say tonight with a grain of salt. i can't type due to the fact every ounce of liquid in my body is pouring out through my eyes while i try to convince myself life is worth living.

[mammalidentifier]

I’ve got good news for you! The rabies virus evolved to affect warm-blooded animals and requires temperatures around 36°C to 38°C (97°F to 100°F) to thrive. Which is the body temperature of your average placental mammal. Marsupials, however, have average body temperatures in the range of 35°C (95°F) and monotremes even lower, at 31°C (87°F)! 

This means that marsupials (even your average virginia opossum) are too cool to get rabies. Literally! It’s not impossible for them to get infected with it and there have been documented cases, but it’s very, very rare. Not only that, but also since most mammals in Australia are marsupials and monotremes, the rabies virus is considered practically inexistent over there! So the Australian possums from that post have zero chances of giving you rabies. Being placental mammals, it’s much more likely that a colugo would get infected with it, but by what I’ve been able to gather from some cursory research, it’s not common for them to be exposed to the virus. I haven’t been able to find a single documented instance.

I’ve also got some bad news, though: you still can’t hold them because they’re wild and have teeth and claws. 😔 None of these animals grow very large but as someone who has been badly bitten by a very angry rat once, small animals ≠ painless bites.

[milkbreadtoast]

some quick messy phone doodles...🔥

[eggo-tistical]

[so we meet again, my love.]

day 3 of serennedy week ^^

[seagull-scribbles]

I want you to tell ‘em that you love the way that they don’t stick out like sore middle fingers

[Continuation of this]

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 19 thoughts

last night’s episode had me singing. clapping my hands together and rejoicing. doing a little twirl, even. so i wonder where we will go from here? 

if i may be so bold as to venture a guess: i would say a two parter leaving on a cliff hanger that is resolved by the movie? 

hmm. i would be happy to be wrong, but we shall see.

post episode thoughts: i think i need to ponder this one for a few months and get back to you. there were things i liked, and other things that frustrated me, which i ended up spending quite a bit of time analyzing. still, i do not mean to be a total hater; my heart was melting at the hospital scene!!!

anyway, back to me from yesterday!

let's read the episode description... mulder is taken hostage?!?! oh, is scully going to go berserk? i am willing to see this. HOWEVER, i would prefer if my boy was left unharmed. maybe the captor will be polite. his poor finger probably still hurts!!!

but, a mulder kidnapping arc is good for me, because i believe being a damsel in distress ought to be a gender neutral role. so let’s see what we have going on

(and the episode is called folie a deux… shoutout to the best fall out boy album)

what if your job was to type into a blocky white computer and call people all day? this could be you, but it is the case for this man, named gary.

he is talking to an uninterested man about siding, and then auto calling someone else. i know these callers well. they plague my job.

an insect is here too, but we don’t have to worry about that. surely the sound design team did not put that in there purposefully for me to notice /s

gary is nervous as he makes another call and hears more insects. i don’t like this. wait, have i seen things about this episode before….?

BUG GUY???? 

gary is shaking with fear. WHAT IS HERE? the bug guy?!?! 

(loud cheering as the intro plays)

short intro….. i clock thee once again

skinner time!!! my heart rejoices at this. why does he have multiple globes in his office? and some books and what looks like trophies under his bill clinton portrait. i wonder if he plays around with them. 

agents mulder and scully are here!!!

uh oh… are they in trouble?!?!

they need to go to chicago to conduct a threat assessment. mulder wants to know why them. “because i prefer you did” <- ohhh yeah, give him the “i told you so” reasoning, skinner 🔥🔥

BAHAHA mulder picks up that the manifesto has “bizarre undertones” right away, which i think is a great way of describing something. and it speaks of a monster stalking employees!! augh. i hope the monster at least allows the workers their legally required breaks. 

(scully looks frustrated)

(mulder nods) "monsters. i’m your boy" <- LMAOOOOO STOPPPPPP WHY IS HE LIKE THIS I’M CRYINGGGG

he’s angry!!! he thinks skinner is mad at him 

“have i finally reached that magic point in my career where every time somebody sees bigfoot or the virgin mary on a tortilla, i get called out of my basement ward to offer my special insight on the matter?” <- oh. oh. i’m laughing, but i do feel a little bad. yeah buddy. that is kind of how you make a living. said with kindness though.

(i know he wants to genuinely know the Truth and find the answers and save his loved ones and learn the mystical secrets of the universe, and that there is angst in this genuine belief being misconstrued as the bigfoot guy, but you can see why such a mistake could get made when he is. you know. the way he is)

“you’re saying i a lot. i heard we” <- YEAHHH SCULLY! GET HIM!!!!!

(augh. and this plot once again fell victim to too much mulder saying i and not enough mulder saying we. probably my biggest complaint with this whole show)

she doesn’t think this case will be a waste of their time, but he says it won’t waste hers, because he will just go by himself! and he’s all pouty as he stalks off, leaving her looking confused. come on, monster boy. stop being emo.

oh, you know the episode is gonna hit when it says written by vince gilligan. i think? he’s the shippy guy, right? i normally don’t pay attention to these things, but people in the comments point out the writers, and he is spoken of positively 

(i googled his name to make sure i was spelling it right, and it turns out he also wrote breaking bad and better call saul. wow! that is a man with some serious credentials!)

so mulder takes off to chicago all by himself to listen to the taped manifesto at the vinyl shop call ceneter. it was sent to the local radio station with the instructions to play it over and over 24 hours a day. the subtitles allow me to know that this is the voice of gary, warning of an evil monster who hides in the light. mulder looks very very bored. 

the boss guy says he’s conducting his own internal investigation, which leads me to believe that he is the bug beast.

not even TWO STEPS OUT THE DOORWAY of that guy’s office and he’s calling scully LMAOOOOO I AM CRYINGGGGG... they cannot be separated or disaster ensues!!! 

he wants her to check on the phrase “hiding in the light”. OH she swivels around at their desk :,) her at the desk makes me so happy!

he recognizes it from an old file!!! “which one? there’s hundreds” “i’m not sure, but i appreciate it” <- AWWW poor scully has to go through 8 million x files looking for a phrase… deep scully sigh as she resigns herself to the glamorous field of archival work. at least he said he appreciated her hard work.

gary sees mulder here and is watching him…. and gary sees his coworkers being called in to talk with the manager. he tells nancy not to go in there!!! “gary, i love you buddy, but you’re really, really weird” damn nancy, get him again lmao

and gary sees the boss go bug mode!! and hears her screaming!! he’s crying while the other manager guy tells him to dial and smile!!

bro is having a complete breakdown… nancy returns to her desk looking like a zombie????? at least to gary. to the camera, she looks pretty normal. things are unclear, narrative-wise.

pretty mulder is listening to the manifesto and taking notes; he has this sort of loopy handwriting i really like. it's a little messy. and he’s written down and then crossed out "obsessive compulsive disorder". “formality of phrasing: desire for authority - to be taken seriously” YEAHHH GO MONSTER BOY GO🔥DO THAT PSYCHOANALYSIS YOU LOVE SO MUCH

meanwhile, gary is gathering ammunition and loading a gun!!!! oh my god????

scully calls!!! she found the phrase and who said it and when and where!!! again, you really cannot out-research her. back in 1992 in florida, a deacon was worried about evil in his church and then showed up and shot people. oh god. and he said “the afflicted ones won’t bleed” hey that’s horrific 

“scully, at the risk of you telling me i told you so, i think it’s time for you to get down here and help me” “i told you so”, she says, smiling <3 

AUGHHHH i need to scream into my hands for a moment

okay. i'm better now. that was just so damn cute.

mulder shows up the next day at the vinyl office place, but it’s empty!!! nancy says to get down… gary points a gun at him!!!! 

scully is pulling in to the parking lot while swarms of police and helicopters are everywhere…. scully introduces herself as agent mulder’s partner. the local FBI team doesn't have any updates on what is going on inside!!!!! 

they want to call him and she says NO. it could put him in danger. this other dude is being condescending to her and she again says NO. we need to find another way. so take that.

oh my god??? inside, gary is making some guy tie everyone up and kneel with their hands behind their heads?? he says the boss is who they should be afraid of and to shut up and stop crying. gary. bro. this is not a good look.

and he says he’s not talking to the people who aren’t human, referring to the first three people the boss took in his office…

mulder is coming in to save the day!!! he asks very calmly why they should be afraid of mr. pincus, claiming that he is here to apply for a job. i can only hope that i could be as calm as him in a hostage situation.

gary says that mr. pincus is a monster who will harvest their souls and turn them into zombies. okay. like in a corporate way or a literal way?

mulder’s slowly moving to grab his gun when gary looks away….

he says everyone needs to hold their breath, and as the local FBI team tries to break in, gary fires at the ceiling!!! maybe he’ll use up all his ammo???? and then mulder can attack???

WHY IS NO ONE LISTENING TO SCULLY WHEN SHE SAYS NOT TO CALL HIM???? Y’ALL ARE PISSING ME OFF!!!!

so of course his phone goes off when these fools call him, gary sees mulder’s gun, and they lose their ONE SHOT OF SAFETY, and gary slaps mulder across the face and SHOOTS AT SOME GUY WHO DARED TO MOVE OH MY GODDDD YOU BITCHES WHO DON’T LISTEN TO SCULLY ALL ARE GOING TO HELL!!!!!!!!

and gary finds mulder's FBI badge…. he picks up the phone and says he shot a zombie, but didn’t kill him. because he was already dead.

he says he will start killing actual people if they don’t get him on the TV!!!

scully says PUT HIM ON THE TV!!! WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS NONSENSE!!!

can they maybe film him and pretend to get it on the TV, and just get it on the local channel so it only broadcasts to the office TV or something????

gary. bro. i’m scared.

mulder tries to remind gary that the guy he killed was a man, but gary says it was a zombie. and that the boss wants to turn them all into drones.

mr. pincus asks a great question: if he is the monster, what does he need all of these people for?? he says to just wait until they put him on the TV.

when they call mulder's cell again, gary answers the phone with “dial and smile” ohhh…. this is truly a man who has had enough of his job

so they’re sending the camera people in…. and scully sees that gary is holding mulder at gunpoint!!!

ohh, they *are* doing a closed circuit broadcast, so gary sees himself on the office TV and no one else will be subjected to him!!! yeah, shoutout to technology.

the cameraman pretends some wires are twisted, which allows the FBI team to see that the wall is clear…. and mulder is forced to lay down…. and now gary’s addressing “the people”

mr. pincus is being held at gunpoint…. and mulder gets in the way… gary’s screaming and screaming at mulder to get him out of the way, but he won’t do it… and scully is WATCHING ALL OF THIS THROUGH THE CAMERA FEED… WHICH IS SO CRAZY

he hears the buzzing again…. and the lights are out…

does mulder see the bug man too?? or is it all in gary’s mind????

the FBI team enters and someone shoots gary. mulder is splattered with blood, but he is looking at mr. pincus suspiciously…… 

GARY WHISPERS “now you know” to him as he lay dying…

HOLY HELL?????????????

what. hey guys! what’s up? what is going on here.

poor pensive mulder is looking off at mr. pincus. “you look exhausted”, says scully, which he instantly denies. and oh, he’s going to talk to him. 

mr. pincus thanks him for saving his life. but mulder is in questioning mode. so mr. pincus had been, at some point, at the other plant where the incident went down a few years earlier, and had been to florida, where the x file case that scully had dug up in the files earlier was. bug guy… real??

scully is very confused. “what’s going on?” she asks softly, and he says he doesn’t know. ohhhh :( he sounded so lost :(

back to washington dc, where mulder is drawing lines on maps. with his poor busted lip and his poor busted finger. someone get him an ice pack

scully is shocked to see him! “mulder, why didn’t you take the day off?” he looks CRAZY and tells her to close the door. 

oh, what must be going through her mind right now…?

he found the phrase “hiding in the light” or variations of it in 5 other x files, but the variations he lists seem pretty different to me. all the other cases were people who said evil was right in front of them but no one else could see it. which seems like a pretty typical x file trope. i'm not sure if he's onto anything here.

she asks what we are all thinking: have you slept? he disregards this and keeps going. 

all of the cases with the phrase variations date back ten years, and that is how long pincus has worked for the vinyl company… hmm…

bro is still in his bloody shirt while trying to convince scully that perhaps a human bug creature could hypnotize its prey into not being visible. please get this man some clean clothes. it is not good to sit around covered in the blood of both yourself and others.

scully does not want to play along with gary's delusions or give them any credit. good for her!

“he was mentally ill. this monster was-was a sick fantasy, a product of his dementia”

(angry mulder nods) “i saw it, too.” (surprised scully face) “does that make me disturbed? demented? does that make me sick, too?” 

ohhhh, there is panic in scully, i am sure, but she is good at not showing it. 

(deep sigh) “no. no, this kind of thing is not uncommon. you… you went through a terrible ordeal, and sometimes people in close associations, under tense conditions, uh, the delusions of one can be passed onto the other” <- ohhhh scully… she is trying so hard to be kind and scientific and to support how he feels without fueling any harmful beliefs. it's a very careful dance.

he is furious though, insisting it’s not a delusion ("it's not folie a deux", he insists in the most american sounding way possible), and i can’t help but think about how his insistence on the existence of bug man fits in with his earlier disgust at being seen as the monster boy. well. you can see how these things happen when we wind up in this sort of situation.

he wants to prove that the people gary pointed out as not human really were turned into zombies somehow… maybe they can give them a checkup under the guise of “damn, y’all just went through some wild stuff”, but all i can think about is getting that man a fresh shirt and a nice long shower. can we give them a check up when you’re clean? please? thank you. bloodborne pathogens are scary.

scully refuses to autopsy the body- saying she won’t feed into the delusions- and he says he’ll prove it without her and storms off. 

she must be so worried about him...... he's clearly not himself

oh shoot… he goes to gary’s place and finds the same map tracking pincus that he had made!!! and then mulder sees a zombified nancy outside!!! he’s running off, but the guy he's with doesn’t see anyone!!!!

now she’s driving off with pincus… where are they going???

scully is here to talk to skinner. he wants to know: why is mulder being weird? 

AND WHY DID HE GET HER SCHEDULED TO DO AN AUTOPSY AFTER SHE SAID NO???? skinner KNOWS something is up and asks if there’s something she wants to tell him. she says “no, sir” and walks away, leaving him behind, confused

okay. so i feel like plotwise, i’m going to be annoyed if mulder is right, because he is acting really wild, and i get that it’s an intense situation, but you need to respect your partner. and listen to her and not make her do things that she refused to do. if he is behaving like he is having a break in his sanity, and scully is treating him with the care that this sort of situation affords, but then it turns out he was the only one clever enough to see the truth for the billionth time, making scully the scorned skeptic... well, it gets old after 5 seasons.

and we know that while he is often right about things, he is also incredibly prone to believing, and this can take him to self-destructive lengths, such as letting a guy put k in your brain until scully has to throw herself on him like a weighted blanket so he doesn't end things permanently. so. i don’t always trust his judgement.

but maybe she’s thinking, if i just autopsy the damn guy, we can get this over with.

all that being said: skinner’s confused face is so funny, lmao

scully does not want to do an autopsy. she’s outsourced it to someone else! i appreciate her sticking to her guns.

she’s trying to call mulder, but the guy doing the autopsy says it looks like the shooting victim has been dead for 2-3 days… and she says no, he died yesterday. HMM. weird. you can see the realization on her face…. something weird is going on here. but is it as strange as mulder claims?

pincus is going… somewhere. well, you better believe mulder is tailing him. hard for a guy that tall to be stealthy. 

he moves the picnic table to look into the window of this house, and he sees the bug guys!!! then he breaks in, seeing an eyeless woman and a bug guy crawling behind him!!! breaking and entering... not a good look

the CGI is killing me lmao. bro is leaning out the window. LMAO WHAT THE HELL I’M HOWLING LOOK AT THE BUG GUY SCURRYING AWAY BAHAHAAAAAAAAAA 

we need to appreciate this for a moment. crazed mulder breaking into some rando's house and shooting at the human-sized bug.

bug guy jumps off of the roof!!!

skinner is listening to the woman whose house he broke into testify… she says she felt a presence creeping towards her… and then this madman was in her house (pan to mulder) uh oh!!! one of many times mulder could have been fired, tbh!!!

she says he was screaming about monsters more than gary!! and then she leaves saying he shouldn’t carry a gun!!!

oh, mulder... what are we going to do with you?

pincus stays behind… oh, skinner is going to go nuclear on mulder if he opens his mouth to call him a monster one more time… poor skinner…….. pincus says he still considers mulder a hero for helping with the hostage situation, which is why he wants to handle this privately

LMAOOOO WAIT MULDER YELLED MORE AND NOW SKINNER IS SCREAMING AT HIM AND MULDER SEES PINCUS TURN INTO BUG MAN RIGHT BEHIND HIM!!!!!!!!! HOLD ONNNN IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY BUT IT LOOKS SO SILLY I CANNOT HELP BUT LAUGH

skinner has to pin him down after he pulls out his gun!!!! oh my god!! he is gonna get fired for real!!!

(funny how often skinner and mulder come to physical blows. i just think it's neat)

mulder is in the hospital in chicago, and scully slips her hand into his (stop. i’ll cry. hey i’ll cry) and he says “five years together, scully. you must have seen this coming” <- HEY IS HE GETTING FIRED FOR REAL?? or just announcing the formal loss of his sanity?!

she says they more or less found what they thought they would find in the body… it looked more decomposed than it ought to have… but that really isn't unusual

oh, look how pained she looks as she listens to him try and explain the monster. he says pincus bit the lady whose house he broke into's neck. now is this a bug or a vampire? i guess those two categories have some commonality

she says the case is closed, and she only has hope he can see past this delusion AUGHHHH

i am imagining being scully in this situation and how much it would hurt to see your bestie and partner like this.......

“you have to be willing to see” “i wish it were that simple” “scully, you have to believe me. nobody else on this whole damn planet does or ever will” OUGHHHHHHHHH

:( :( :( monster boy......

“you’re my… one in five billion” OHHH. HE SAID THE THING. THE BLOGS QUOTE HIM SAYING THE THING ALL THE TIME. AND HE SAID IT!!! AND MY HEART DID A FLIP.

look at her looking at him……

that feeling when your bestie is out of his mind, begging you to believe in the bug men, and he says you're his soul mate.......... yeah.

back to autopsy land. this other dude is very confused as to why she wants to flip him over. AUGH. bites! bug bites!

she is shaving the dead body's head. which is not something i ever thought you had to do, but here we are. she shaves that dead body like a pro. and AUGH. more bites. 

poor mulder is being restrained and shot up with stuff :( our pathetic man is suffering…….. 

he hears insects!!! did they bite him too???

NOOO!!! he sees the insect!! he’s screaming for the nurse!!!

he sounds absolutely wild as he tries to convince her there’s something at the window, and for her to let him go. oh, she opens the window…. is there something on her neck……. it looked like... juice?? gag.

he hears more insects…. i think it’s coming in his room?? it’s climbing on the wall?? 

OH SHIT!! the nurse is not letting scully in!!! and she sees her as a zombie, too???

SCULLY PARANORMAL MOMENT?!?!

OH, SHE BURSTS INTO HIS ROOM AS HE’S SCREAMING, AND SHOOTS THE BUG MAN!!!!

she’s looking at the window like wtf… am i going to have to pay to get that fixed…? and also was that really a bug man...? a lot of important questions are being communicated despite the lack of works

while he’s still fighting his restraints…

cut to a baffled skinner. “agent scully, i have to say, i’m at a bit of a loss here” LMAOOOO me too girl

“do i infer correctly from this that you believe there’s some… merit to agent mulder’s claims?”

(god, i typed "clams" at first. i wish there was merit to his clams)

this is shocking, but not unheard of. listen! scully just wants answers, okay? and sometimes they lie in the category of science yet to be explained.

(long scully pause) “i believe that agent mulder is mentally sound and fit for duty. aside from that belief, i can only present to you the few hard facts that i've been able to gather” <- queen of giving a measured response in a purple suit 

oh shoot!! there was a toxin in the spine of the shooting victim!! and pincus is gone without a trace, with 6 other key witnesses!! including the nurse!!!

skinner wants to know what the intruder looks like… she deflects that it was dark. that is all we hear her say, even though i wouldhave loved to know how that conversation ended.

scully and mulder reunite as they enter an elevator. “what did you tell him?”, he asks her. “the truth… as well as i understand it” “which is?” (long scully pause) “folie a deux… a madness shared by two”

hey. why does it sound like she knows french when she said that? because i know that mulder took french, but he said it as american as possible. however, she took german and said that pretty darn well. 

blushing a little.

AUGH, and a new company for WINDOWS has insect noises going on at the call center!!!

and so, the monsters continue to spread, ready at any moment to end humanity; a typical ending to an episode.

well. what did i think of this one?

hmm. i’m not sure. i was hoping mulder was going off the deep end rather than him being the most specialist boy of all who can once again see what the rest of the world cannot. he’s right too often, and we end up in the same situation where scully refuses to listen to his theories on account of the fact that he sounds crazy, and then he lowkey bullies her into doing what he asks rather than always considering her input, and then he ends up being right.

someone once got mad on one of my posts and said scully hates mulder (lmao. can you imagine?) because she never believes him even though he tends to be right. and buddy, i cannot really accept that as valid criticism, even beyond the whole point of the show being that yeah, they don't see eye to eye on supernatural matters. that is the most watsonian explanation to an incredibly clear doylist pattern, which is that mulder is the most special boy of all in this show and he knows all of the things and everyone else is a mere fool. this pattern annoys me greatly.

i just think it's funny (said with sarcasm) that someone would take the watsonian, in-universe explanation that hates on the woman character rather than acknowledge the fact that the writers clearly had a bias between the two. lmao.

and yeah. there are elements of both. scully is both purposefully written as stubborn in the face of his outlandish theories due to her loyalty to science as an element of her character, AND purposefully written as the one who naively refuses to believe mulder as some sort of audience proxy, because augh, that woman, she just won't believe our most special gifted genius agent mulder!

you can see how those two things work together, but one is clearly the result of the other. character decisions come from writers who often have their own biases and agendas rather than out of some mysterious creative ether from which a character emerges fully formed.

and poor skinner, trying to deal with mulder's often violent impulses. 

i think it’s very interesting that scully believes herself and him to be victims of a shared madness. it’s the most logical belief for her to have, but it also places this kind of… like, concerning element to them being together. is everything they have experienced a shared madness? or just this after the trauma of him being held hostage? how can you trust your memory? how can you trust what you see? 

i also think it’s very interesting how she refuses to feed his delusions at all when he proposed the idea. she would not do the autopsy. and from his psych training standpoint, i imagine that he knew she would say that, but was still hoping against hope because he was so out of his right mindset. she stuck to what she believed would help him recover, which is really admirable and doctor-y of her.

god, her slipping her hand into his as he’s in the hospital…

see, this is the problem with this show. it’s got me philosophizing on the meaning of the bug men. first of all, if they’re the ones in charge of call centers, i’m not really that surprised. corporate work turns you into a zombie; you don’t have time for passions or pursuits of your own, you just work for the shareholder. i get that interpretation. 

but other than that, what are we to think of the bug men? are we to call into question the things that we see? are we to believe the manifestos and ramblings of people like gary? 

i’m going to probably just assume it was a sort of “wouldn’t it be fucked up if…” situation the writers concocted. yeah it *would* be fucked up if there were bug guys in the call center taking over america through ceaseless barrages of advertising. you've got me there, vince.

my feelings on mulder’s behavior are complicated. maybe it was a shared madness between them *and* there were some shady bug things going on. him sitting there still the day after the hostage situation, having gotten no sleep, still in his bloody shirt, drawing lines on the map… i mean, he did not seem well, even for a guy famed for his bouts of obsessive focus. 

i am going to think on this one for a bit. perhaps a more coherent train of thought will arise. but for now, i have written a treatise on the nature of this show's frustrating parts while also highlighting the parts that made me giggle. like "i told you so" and scully's good french and mulder's terrible french and holding hands and undying love <3

[queewp]

Brainstorming a stupid knight and prince au teehee. They hate each other (or do they?)

[crybaby-bkg]

Bakugou has been gone on a mission for entirely too long now. the seasons are starting to change, and his side of the bed is starting to lose his embedded scent. but, thankfully, he should be home within the next few days, and its enough to drive you up the wall knowing how close he'll be soon.

so, to show your excitement, you set things up in your shared room. you pull on his shirt with the old tattered skull on the front, and find the specially created dildo that was modeled after him (what a fucking process that was, that turned out to be so worth it for moments like these). you watch a few videos he's sent you while he's been away, with his arms seemingly bigger and his cock seemingly harder every moment he's away from you.

and you get started. working yourself open, moaning unabashedly in the quiet house, head thrown back into his pillow as you chase your high. so when you get close, you finally set up your phone on his night stand. your body propped up on its side, legs squeezed together as you run the tip of the fake cock between your folds. you only hope to the high heavens that Bakugou answers, or else you think you might burst at the seams.

when he does answer, his voice gets so choked up in his throat. you have no care in the world if he's around people, if anyone could possibly see - all you cared about were his eyes being on you. and honestly, bakugou doesn't think he could look away if he tried. keeps his eyes glued to the screen as you see him get up to slam his hotel door shut, stumbling over to the bed, fumbling with his belt until only the tip peeks out on your screen.

"You don't know what you fuckin' do to me, sweetheart," Bakugou huffs out, his voice strained, face comically close to his phone. he turns his brightness up, the volume, doesn't care if his next door neighbor can hear your sweet little moans of his name.

"Miss you so much," you murmur, eyes squeezing shut when you slide the entirety of the already soaked dildo back inside of you. Bakugou groans low under his breath, lip twitching when he catches a glimpse of the flared base pressing against your lips.

"Is that the one made after me?" he asks in a whisper, swallowing thickly. you're the only person who could get him from zero to a thousand, from a bad day to the best one he thinks he's ever had in his entire life. you nod quickly, biting at your lip, slightly raising your leg to get deeper, to rub at your clit the same time you start fucking yourself with the dildo.

Bakugou thinks he might burst at the seams at the sight of you. he promises to himself, come morning time, he'll get home quicker if its the last thing he does.

[the-eyes-of-andyserkis]

[re1gn404]

clive lolol

[olibavee]

cannot trust myself with bags of unshelled pistachios. with a bag of shelled pistachios i feel some semblance of safety and comfort. an illusion of control when i tell myself i will not eat the whole bag in one sitting...