#my filipino relatives have done this all the time

[threestripeslider]

Splinter cutting up fruit and just wordlessly giving it to his sons as a snack without being asked as a silent sign of love and care can literally be so personal–

[wanderer-clarisse]

"Mano po."

Pagmamano (Tagalog) - "honouring-gesture;" a sign of respect towards elders

A continuation of sorts, of this other drawing I made of the Feänorians, which was roughly inspired by Filipino culture. I originally planned on completing this for @nolofinweanweek, specifically the first prompt about how Fingolfin and Feänor's families got along, but life got in the way and I didn't finish it in time. More background/my long rambles under the cut:

Pagmamano - touching the back of an elder's hand on one's forehead - is not restricted to family, but it's usually done in the context of elder family members. I have many memories of attending family reunions and being told to follow the other kids to "mano po" a grandfather, aunt, or uncle. While Elves don't have elderly relatives, per se, I thought this image was too fun not to draw. Also, I love envisioning Feänor as that cool uncle who gives the most amazing gifts but like, the kids are intimidated by him, so they have to be told (and supervised) by their parents to line up and greet him properly. Fingolfin's just standing there making sure his kids all greet their uncle. (Maedhros, presumably having already finished his greetings, is sidetracking Fingon.)

All this to say, I think that these guys didn't have the perfect relationship. But. You can't convince me Finwë didn't get the whole family together from time to time on some sort of family reunion camping trip. And Feänor just has to begrudgingly tolerate it because he can't say no to his dad. While the kids, obviously, have a great time.

[mariemarieohcontrary]

Choices MCs (Filipino Edition lol)

《Next》

Finally drew four of my Choices MCs inspired by @cassiopeiacorvus and her wonderfully done OC compilations (how do you have the patience to draw all of em omg)

I'm thinking of doing the same for my Romance Club MCs too (background would be the purple of the homescreen there)

Interested in commissioning me? Click the source! 💗

Evangeline Marie G. (Guzman) Lakandula - Ah yes, my soft, anxious babie with self-worth issues. She comes from a messy background with a horrible father. She was close to her late (paternal) grandparents and had a very complicated relationship with her late mother. One of her relatives shes v close to is her older cousin, Ethan.

She's a college dropout thanks to her father's bad choices and worked the moment she had a chance to.

After her mother passed, that was it for Evangeline. She kinda needed to go away from her dad and his loud voice and other issues. So she left home and Ethan helped her out before he left for a business trip abroad.

He had her go to a house he owned in Laguna where she could live in provided she just do the cleaning in there. She found simple work that she was qualified for and that was her life for the next few years until a certain bachelor party came into her life.

Diwa Kalangitan M. (Masangga) del Rosario - My chaotic good and very protective MC who definitely rabbleroused in the school she works in.

She was raised in a household that follows some precolonial beliefs and traditions. She has a stepfather who's an albularyo and two half-siblings. One is studying in college, the other is still in high school. She has a close relationship to both her parents.

And she is rather happy with her job as a teacher in a private school. Sure she sometimes goes against curriculum to make sure the kids enjoy her lessons. She's a class advisor also so when she found out their math teacher humiliated one of her students, she confronted said teacher.

Her trip to America is really just a birthday trip until the events of the book started. In the end she ends up in a poly relationship with Nik and Cal. (She does end up pointing out to the boys that she'll have to go back to her work and family at least just to properly resign and find work near them and also to assure her family she's safe.)

Maya Chelidonia C. (Caacbay) dela Rosa - The local tired detective who had to move abroad for their own safety. Love them SM.

Maya is the child of Jaime dela Rosa, a cop in the Philippines who does not follow in corrupt practices and tries to do right by the community. He was killed after coincidentally seeing signs of corruption in the force and wanting to expose it.

After their father's death, Maya also followed in his footsteps. On their end, they wanted to try and do some good in their job but ended up experiencing some discrimination in the work force. Enter them finding the same evidence of corruption that their father found as well. This time they managed to expose the corruption but in the end, one of their few friends in the force warned them that they'll have to flee the country due to some v angry officials.

So they fled with their mother and younger sister.

Their sister became a fashion designer. Maya found work as a private detective and the two teamed up to be able to live a decent life. Their sister travels with their mom on fashion shows. They're fine living nearby their maternal uncle with their dog, Spudge. (He's a scaredy cat and a lil crybaby who doesn't like strangers and by that I mean he starts crying when the strangers notice him. It's not out of trauma, he just likes Maya and their fam more than anyone else and is v shy with others. He's also scared of the dark and loud noises.)

Inocencia Honorata G. (Galang) Valenciano - and finally, my love's embarrassing bby. My Rafael Aveiro romancer. Love her sm.

She and her mom, older brother and little sister ran away from their father when they were a kid. Her parents annulled their marriage after a few years.

Her older brother became the youngest lawyer in the country and had a firm in New York seek him out. This led to him helping Inocencia and her sister (who had skipped grades and managed to enter college the same year as Inocencia).

Inocencia is v non-competitive that she chose De La Salle University while her sister went to their grandfather’s alma mater, University of the Philippines. At college, Inocencia got dubbed as SiaSia because of the repeated -cia in her first name and surname.

The two got accepted into Edenbrook when they were gonna start. Inocencia being 27 and her sister being 25. By then, Inocencia still isn't competitive and didn't sign up for the competition for the diagnostics team but her little sister shoved her to try it out.

[aethelwyneleigh27]

In honor of Christmas spirit, I will present you with things I love about my moots and why I appreciate them. Hope this there's you guys up no matter what you're going through right now, you deserve to have something good said about you, I love you guys <333

A/n: please excuse the few ones because now I've started to drink.. vodka mule.. hope I don't say anything too weird and I know I'm kinda a weak drinker, still building my tolerance and all.

Alright, let's start with my most favorite moot..

@puff0o0

🩷 You are so pretty love, how dare you ever say anything otherwise. The curly hair and it's beautiful color, facial features that look like they've been carved by a sculptor and down to your sweet voice. Physically hurts me to know that you're gonna say otherwise :((

🩷 Your writing? Fucking top tier fluff ever, those mean comments about it? Screw them, your writing got you to almost 3k followers and they're just jealous because they don't have that.

🩷 You are such a good friend, always caring for everyone and not asking anything for in return. Also please love, give yourself a break and please rest. Never will forget the first time we interacted because you are by far the sweetest creator who so happens to be well known.

@connorsui

🩵 Christmas is the time of giving right? It's time to give some back to you. I'm gonna get this out of the was, sweetie you are the best kind of reader I have ever come across and there's really only one of you, I wouldn't have it any other way.

🩵 You are the kindest and funniest person ever, your commentary keeps us writers motivated. I mean this genuinely, I find myself always looking forward to what you have to say on my works.

🩵 I'm sure many writers you've reblogged will agree with me, your commentary has honestly been the best, you sure know how to make me feel better about what I write. Also I'mma need some of those memes you use, you're so iconic and funny I can't.

@simp4konig

❤️ You don't give yourself enough credit for how much you help people boost their works, saying you haven't done much but commenting, talking to me and just interacting with my work does so much.

❤️ You are literally so nice to me, I don't even know where to begin with the list of things you've done that you refuse to be credited for.

❤️ You're so funny and another great writer, I hope that I see more of your writing along the way.

@blingblong55

❤️ First of all, who gave you the right and talent to be such a good writer? Genuinely, what kind of drugs are implemented in your writing.. you got me to like Makarov.. you're that powerful. I know I'm into villains but I wouldn't be surprised if you got me to like shepherd too... Please don't. (This is not a challenge please 😭)

❤️ How can I say this without sounding like a total fangirl? I'm obsessed with your work as you can tell, so much so that you're one of the creators who inspired me to start writing again and still as of now I think of your works while writing my own.

❤️ I DEFINITELY WASN'T SQUEALING AND KICKING MY FEET IN MY BED WHEN YOU FIRST INTERACTED WITH MY WORK...

@anonymuslydumb

🩵 Love you as the first Filipino person I had interacted with within this app that doesn't happen to be my school friend or relative.

🩵 Mangangaroling po, blue and yellow bills only. Pwede din po through G-cash and ShopeePay, pero no less than 1k pag-ganon AHAHAHA CHAROT, KIMI LANG.

🩵 Mwah <3

@shadofireshinobi

🖤 You are so special I can't even, you're my first ever mutual, first request and first person that I can genuinely talk to here before anyone.

🖤 You've made me feel so comfortable in my own skin and I know you're facing difficulties with your own that I am too but you're in so much more difficulty. I really do wish the best for you, love.

🖤 You are so strong, confident and resilient, you've been through so much and gosh you are the definition of a powerful woman who I wanted to be when I was young. Child me would be the happiest knowing that a motherly figure is looking after her.

Past Friends and Relatives <3

@marshmallowinamess

💚 Do I even have to say this? You are the best person in my life, my soulmate forevermore, we've been through so much together that I don't know where to start. I wish I was able to express how much I love you.

💚 You have been there for me through thick and thin for the most difficult times of my life, you've saved me countless times and though it doesn't feel like I'm doing enough, I made a promise to myself that I will make it up to you even if it will be the rest of my life.

💚 You are the only person who stood up for me when I needed you the most, I just.. don't know what else to say because what can you give someone who's done so much for you? Who has treated you better than anyone in your life, better than your parents? What can you possibly do to repay someone who saved you from yourself?

@ysalinedevreux

❤️ I know we've had conflict and drama in the past and I just wanna say I'm thankful that you contacted me again because we would've missed out on the friendship we were supposed to have.

❤️ A lot has happened and yet you stayed strong and we both learned from our past.

❤️ Happy holidays my dear <3

@rabblebite

🧡 What more could I say to my most favorite cousin in the world?

🧡 Thanks for being there for me always, you've made heartwarming promises and we still have a lot of adventures together (we're both drunk right now)

🧡 Honestly I wish my dad would take me here more often because then I'd get to spend more time and gossip with you guys. Thank you for comforting me like you always do when I needed, immediately noticing the change in my voice and that I'm crying.

Special mentions:

@azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @trepaika @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @thesnowurzikdjinn @legallymentallyillfuckers @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb

You guys are always there to support my works and I want reciprocate that as much as I can, each and every one of you are so talented. I wish I can write more and do you guys justice but my eyes hurt so much and this is overdue. You guys are such good writers and even more amazing mutuals of mine who I know have been through some tough times. Know that all of you are welcome to talk to me when you need to and that my page is open to comfort as much as I can from a distance <3

[dearinglovebot]

there's a common criticism of the jurassic world movies that goes like "trying to weaponize raptors is such a stupid idea. the military would never do that". but my main criticism of that particular plot, from a third worldist perspective, would actually be that it doesn't go far enough.

"it's a crazy idea to even suggest--" in the 1950s CIA operatives attempted psychological warfare on a filipino village by spreading rumors that aswang (vampire-esc creatures) were hunting down rebels. they'd kidnap rebels, create dual puncture wounds in the neck, drain the body of blood, and leave the body for the community to find. they've done crazier.

"it's a stupid idea--" so were most of the ways they plotted (or failed) to assassinate fidel castro. exploding shellfish he'd pick up while scuba diving, tuberculosis-causing-fungi in a scuba mask, exploding cigar, ballpoint pen with secret syringe full of poison, just exploding places, etc. like the vast majority of declassified programs would make you look crazy if you told someone about them, despite the evidence of them existing. in the 1960s they put a tiny microphone + radio transmitter in a cat and tried to use it to spy on the soviets. it was called "acoustic kitty".

"animals just aren't efficient--" drug sniffing dogs can have inaccuracy ranges from 1/3-½ of the time. studies have determined that they can pick up on their trainer's racism and target minorities without any illicit substances because the trainer suspects them to have them. there's also a long history of trying to use intelligent animals as spies (crows, ravens, dolphins, pigeons, dogs, etc). most of these aren't actually more efficient than drones in the end, but they still try it just to see if it would work.

"raptors wouldn't be effective against enemy tanks--" most of the people these raptors would be deployed against wouldn't actually have tanks. they'd be guerrilla fighters who rely on hit and run tactics. or if they do have tanks, they'd be relatively old ones from the soviet era without the same modern capabilities. the USA does not wage war (or, proxy war in most cases) with actual military nations. the better question would be how bullet resistant are their scales which has a scene answering it in the first movie (you'll be dead before you manage a hit).

"but raptors are wild animals that might hurt the troops--" the army gave their own troops cancer and denies many healthcare for it to this day. bases would have these things called "burn pits" where you burn all your trash including ones that produce toxic gas like plastic and electronics. toxic gas, as the name implies, can give you anything from asthma to cancer. yes, they knew it did that. yes, they still use them.

the question of "if" training raptors for war is a good idea or smart idea falls flat when we consider that based on historical context, neither of these things are necessarily required for military projects. if someone can think of it, they will try it. the better question to ask is "would the military believe they have something to gain from it?" because that is the only truly relevant one in this situation.

the answer is "yes". it would be a niche that has not been explored. whether or not the raptors specifically work in war would be irrelevant because part of military operation on animals is understanding if an animal is capable of collaboration. take acoustic cat: the mission was ultimately abandoned, but was considered a "win" because they realized the limitations of cats as tools of war. they were deemed incapable of long-term espionage ability due to trainability, but were not completely ruled out for future short term espionage ability, were a niche to arise.

when we apply all of this understanding to the world movies, we get a firmer grasp on why the semantics don't particularly matter as much as the intended message: "just because we can do things doesn't mean we should". which is in line with the themes of jurassic park as a film.

[tinamaetales]

Heaven-seated, undefeated, highest of names

For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world but that the world through Him might be saved John 3:17

The name of a man that I have been familiar with ever since I was young is Jesus. He is a man with numerous titles: Prince of Peace, Son of God, Son of Man, Emmanuel, Messiah, Bridegroom, Bread of life, Good Shepherd, Lamb of God, True Vine, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Alpha and Omega, the Way, Truth and Life to name a few. I know Him and have heard His name almost all the time. From our house, neighborhood, school, market, grocery, mall, and of course, in churches, Jesus’ name is the name I heard about all the time; He is everywhere. I guess I have learned His name first before I even know the names of my parents or relatives or even my own full government name. Jesus’ name has been a part of my life ever since I was young although I gotta admit that hearing His name is not always because it is being used to praise Him but more of an expression by some. Nonetheless, Jesus has always been a man I am familiar with. As a kid who grew up in a dominantly Catholic society, my first encounter with Jesus is seeing the crucifixion in the Church. And then, I studied in Catholic schools so there is always one subject we are required to take that is dedicated to studying His teachings, especially the parables. As a kid, those stories were fun to me. Those stories are wholesome and filled with lessons. Then as I grew older and gained more life experiences, Jesus became not just a character from the book but someone whom I started forming a relationship with. I developed my faith. Then comes tragedy after tragedy in life that ended up with me running away from Him; like the prodigal son who left his father’s home because I simply know better. What was once a relationship with God through His son Jesus became just a memory from the past as I live my life on my own terms. And then, like the shepherd who left the 99 sheep to find the one lost sheep, Jesus found me at my lowest low. No, I did not find God in Church, He found me at home when my life has lost all its meaning and purpose. It’s as if I was rescued after years of living inside a cave. 

The last quarter of 2023 came with an unexpected plot twist as I discovered this show called “The Chosen” The show became a way for me to come home to God. Long story short, the show helped me find my way back to God and I even bought my own Bible as a Christmas gift to myself. I started my 2024 reading the Bible in a “chronological” order which is something I have never done before. Actually, I feel like I only ever read the New Testament and just know some stories from the Old Testament. Anyway, re-reading the New Testament feels different this time. For now I am reading it for the purpose of getting to know Jesus more instead of it being just a school requirement. The Jesus that I read here is the kind of Jesus that makes you feel at home instead of intimidated and scared. Jesus is truly the way, the truth and the life. I never imagined my relationship with God would ever be fixed if it were not for Jesus. It is through Him that I realized that no one is ever truly far from God or too damaged to be redeemed. After all, He came to this world to bring salvation. He showed us what a real relationship with God is.

The New Testament has 27 books and I would love to discuss all of them but for this blogpost alone, I will only focus on the four books of gospel. I will be sharing some of my reflection through 7 topics:

Fishers of Men (Matthew 4:19, Matthew 9:13, Mark 1:17, Luke 5:8, John 1:35-51)

One of the earliest images/photos of Jesus that I know of was the painting of The Last Supper by Leonardo Da Vinci. In most FIlipino households, that painting is usually displayed at the dining table (up until now, I really do not know why). What makes this painting fascinating to me is the kind of people Jesus was dining with. The painting showed the artist’s own interpretation of the Last Supper which is a significant event in Jesus’s earthly ministry. I have noticed the 12 men or the apostles as they are called and it made me wonder why among all the humans on the planet, Jesus chose those 12 men. Another question I have is why did Jesus even have apostles when He is more than capable of doing things on His own? In schools, there is a ranking system in which the top students who have the highest grades get awards or recognitions. In pageants, there is top 15, top 10, top 3. In the Olympics, the best three athletes get awarded with gold, silver, and bronze. But with Jesus, his chosen 12 are not the best or the most popular among the lot . His chosen 12 were simple human beings - four of them are fishermen, one is a tax collector, and another one is a zealot. 

I raised two questions in the beginning of this topic, and I found the answer to the 2nd one while re-watching The Chosen: Of course, if God wanted to, Jesus can do it alone because He is the Son of God after all. But in choosing the 12 apostles, God is telling us that we are being invited to participate in His kingdom. This is a touching way of telling us that we all have a purpose and such is what I needed to hear especially in times when I feel empty and worthless. With Jesus choosing men from different walks of life is an assurance that everyone is welcome in the Kingdom of God. Come as you are, as the famous saying goes. However, deciding to follow Jesus does not stop there. Like what Jesus said, “Go and sin no more” When we come home to God, we must also surrender our old lives and take up the cross and follow Jesus. Just like how Peter, Andrew, James and John left their jobs as fishermen and followed Jesus. Or, the best example is Matthew the tax collector. He is already living well by having a secured job but when Jesus called him, he left that life behind and entered the life of discipleship. If we look at this in the perspective of today’s generation, it can be difficult to comprehend. But the apostles proved and gave meaning to the words surrender and faith. Those are the very words I also find difficult to live by. And I guess, I found my answer to the first question - God does not call the qualified, but He qualifies the called.

Physician, heal thyself 

In Matthew 11:2-6, John the Baptist sent his followers to Jesus to ask “Are you the One who is to come or should we wait for someone else?” in which Jesus replied with “Go tell John what you hear and see: the blind can see, the crippled can walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the poor have the gospel preached to them. And blessed is he who does not take offense at me” When Jesus was doing His earthly ministry, he had done many things, signs and miracles, which have shown that He is the Son of God. He is the “physician” who came to heal the sick. There were many signs and miracles stated in the New Testament but I will only be discussing some of them:

Calming the storm (Matthew 8:23-27)

This is one of my favorite Jesus miracles from the bible because it was short and simple but also direct in showing us that Jesus is both 100% human and 100% divine. Jesus was sleeping in the boat when they encountered a storm at the sea. The disciples were scared so they woke him up. Jesus told the storm to “be still” and nature obeyed Him. This short story showed how Jesus is truly the Son of God for even nature obeys Him. I saw myself in the disciples for I am like that most of the time - in constant fear and panic that I almost forgot  that I have Jesus in my life and if I only allow my faith to be bigger than my fears then I should always remember that my God can calm even the strongest storms.

2. Healing the bleeding woman (Mark 5:25-34)

This is one of the miracles that will always make me emotional because of how much I can relate to the woman who was healed. For someone who has always been sick since I was a child, it is tiring to always be in the hospital. The amount of tests I have to undergo and the amount of medicines I have to take, my body feels exhausted and my mental health is also affected. Being sick is not just physically exhausting but also emotionally and mentally draining. And in the midst of one's battle with illness, a small sign of hope can change you. Just like the woman who has been bleeding for years and immediately found hope when she heard about Jesus, my family, especially my mother, have held onto that hope in Jesus during my sick years. I lost count of the number of “miraculous” churches we have visited and the number of novenas we have prayed for just so I can be healed every time I was admitted to the hospital. The woman who bled for years had the faith that even by just touching Jesus’ cloak she will be healed and that kind of faith she has was so strong that when she reached out to touch the cloak of Jesus, she was instantly healed. Jesus acknowledged her faith as well “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction” (Mark 5:34). This story meant a lot to me because I experienced being hopeless and felt like there is no solution anymore but when I reached out my hand to God, despite me being too far from Him for many years, He answered me. I aspire to always have a strong faith like this woman. Truly, when we feel like we are hanging by a thread, we must make sure it is at the hem of His garment.

3. Ten Lepers (Luke 17:11-19)

This miracle of Jesus showed a lesson as well, this time about gratitude. There were ten lepers who begged for healing and when they were healed, only one came back and thanked Jesus. This showed us that most of the time, the prayer of asking is louder than the prayer of thanksgiving. 

I have lost count of the number of times I asked God to have mercy on me. There are times when my prayers are answered with a “no” which often made me feel bad but there are more times when I received a “yes” to my prayers and I remember how I do not always thank God for it. The thing about me is I am often ungrateful. It is just so hard to be grateful when I feel like I am not getting what I truly deserve so coming across this miracle of Jesus was a great reminder to me to always be grateful. I aspire to be like the Samaritan who took the time to come back to Jesus to thank Him. I hope that in every obstacle I overcome, I am reminded that it was not me but it was through His grace that I came through.

4. Centurion’s Servant (Matthew 8:5-13)

In catholic mass, we often utter the words from Matthew 8:8 “Lord, I am not worthy that you should come under my roof, but only say the word and my servant will be healed” before communion. I resonate a lot with the words “I am not worthy” because just like the centurion, I felt like that most of the time. In fact, one of the reasons why it took me so long to come home to God is because I felt so unworthy of Him. I have done a lot of things that make me feel like I am in no way deserving of God’s grace and mercy but then, who am I to say that? Who am I to decide that? I feel like my pride is the one that holds me back from fixing my relationship with God so the story of the centurion is a great realization for me to act with humility and recognize that God knows what is best. Another thing I admire is the centurion’s faith in believing that even if Jesus is not in his house, he can still heal the servant. Thus, “Only say the word” I aspire to have that kind of faith.

5. Jesus drives out demon (Mark 9:14-29)

Jesus, during His earthly ministry, has casted out demons a lot of times but the one I will be discussing in this blog post is when He casted out the demon from a young boy. Jesus’ ability of casting out demons is a strong indication that He is truly the son of God. Jesus casting out demons just shows that the good will always defeat evil. Another reason why I specifically included this is the verse Mark 9:24 when the boy’s father said “I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief” I relate to those words because there are times when I find myself doubting God specially in my most difficult moments. I often find myself telling/begging God to end my misery if He can. I mean, I do believe in Him, I believe that He exists and is real but sometimes I lack the faith to fully trust Him because life is just too much for me to handle. Believing is different from being faithful for the latter includes surrendering and fully allowing and trusting God that He is in control. I often find myself in conflict with my faith in God but through Jesus I am slowly learning how to overcome my unbelief and may He continue to help me work on it.

6. Paralytic from the roof (Luke 5:17-26)

This is one of the famous stories of Jesus healing because this is when He said “Your sins are forgiven” which establishes His authority to forgive sins. While this story’s focus is on Jesus forgiving the paralytic and healing him, it is also important to see how this story presented two different sets of people, the Pharisees and the friends of the paralytic. These two groups are an interesting point of discussion for they present the different views of people when it comes to Jesus, the critics and the believers. The Pharisees came to Jesus with closed hearts and are just waiting for a single move or word that they can accuse of Him while the friends of the paralytic went to Jesus with the faith that He can cure their friend. It would be such a blessing to have people in your life who will pray for you and want you to get closer to God like the friends of the paralytic.

7. Raising Lazarus (John 11:1-45)

For me, out of all the miracles Jesus has done to show His love, mercy and grace to humans, the most grand of it all is the raising of Lazarus from the dead. While it was not the first time and also not the only time He brought back life to the dead, the whole of John 11:1-45 has presented us more than the miracle of raising Lazarus from the dead. It was told that when Lazarus was severely ill, his sisters sent word to Jesus to inform Him of the situation but instead of immediately going to Bethany to heal Lazarus, he stayed where He was and waited. He came to Bethany four days later when Lazarus was already dead. Despite their grief, both Martha and Mary remained faithful and instead told Jesus that if He was there, Lazarus would have been healed. Although they are hurting, they remained strong in their faith and Jesus grieved with them. That situation showed that sometimes God allows us to experience pain and loss but He is there for us. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand why we need to experience heartbreak. I personally have my moments of getting angry at God for not intervening and just allowing the world to make me suffer. It is difficult to remain with God when you feel like you lost everything, including Him. I often forget that even in pain, God is there. Just like how Jesus grieved with and provided comfort to Martha and Mary, He is also hurting and grieving with me. Sometimes, these heartbreaks happen because God has bigger plans. For Martha and Mary, Jesus showed that resurrection is the gift that can only come from Him. He is the life that overcomes death. In John 11:25-26, Jesus tells us that physical death is of this world but being with Christ means that not even death can defeat us for He has conquered it.

Loaves and Fishes (Matthew 14:13-21, Mark 6:31-44, Luke 9:12-17, John 6:1-14)

One of the things in life that always puts me on the edge is not having assurance. I hate not knowing if a certain thing is possible. I hate being unprepared. There were countless times when I experienced being in the dead end and it always sent me to a downward spiral. Everytime I feel “cornered” by challenges, I often find myself asking this question “Have I not had enough?” But looking at it now, I realize that in all those moments of hopelessness or dead end, somehow I always manage to survive; it was as if God always provides, God always saves me. I remember the times when my salary was not enough for us to survive the month, then all of a sudden, a certain incentive was given to us. Or the time when we really need money for my sister’s school requirements then suddenly a generous relative would send money. Or the time I was so hungry but the money I have is only enough for my transportation fare and then a supervisor would randomly treat the entire office to dinner. The most recent one was when my sister and I were feeling down that we cannot attend our favorite band’s concert because we cannot afford the tickets. The day before the concert we ended up winning two VIP tickets. In the moments when I felt like the game was over, God came in clutch and saved/won the game for me. Those moments reminded me of the miracle Jesus performed which was said to be one of the only two miracles to be recorded in all four books of the gospel - The feeding of the 5,000. With only five loaves of bread and two fish, Jesus was able to feed 5,000. This miracle showed that God will always provide no matter the circumstances or the resources. But the story did not only show us that God can do the impossible thing but also showed us the humanity in His apostles, specifically Philip and Andrew. His apostles just came back from their own mission in which they were given authority to do the things Jesus can do such as healing the sick and casting out demons and yet here they are doubting the situation. When Jesus told them to not send the people away and instead feed them, Philip replied “It would take more than half a year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite” and when Andrew found a boy who offered five barley loaves and two fish he said “But how far will they go among so many?” Those two apostles' worries represent me everytime I face difficulties. Most of the time it is difficult to just leave everything in God’s hands because the human in me finds it hard to understand how one can get out of rock bottom without a solid plan. And I guess that is where I was wrong; I was looking at the situation based on the available or the limited resources I have instead of putting my faith in God and knowing that if I leave it to Him, then He will deliver. Believing in God is one thing and having faith in God is another.

Ears to Hear 

Jesus has said the phrase “He who has ears to hear, let him hear” more than once in the Bible. It was usually said after he told a parable (Parable of the sower) and at first I thought it only meant “those who want to hear something will listen” but I guess it was more than that. The purpose of Jesus’ parables is to provide understanding to those who are willing to be with Him. The parables are a creative way of informing us about God’s kingdom as well as teaching us important life lessons so those who have “ears to hear” will hear God’s words or in short, those who are willing to accept Jesus as the messiah can listen to the parables and understand the message while those who have not accepted Him, cannot seek the truth as these parables will be too difficult to comprehend. When I was in elementary and studying in a Catholic school, I always looked forward to our “parable of the week” discussion because I love how Jesus tells analogy through these stories and it helped me become interested in knowing Him more.  So as I was re-introducing myself to Jesus, these parables also reminded me of the past when I was so invested in knowing Jesus. These parables were a reminder that I was once a little girl who loved Jesus and trusts Him a lot. I just find it a bit saddening that right now I was far from that little girl because of the things I have experienced in my life which left me broken and traumatized. I hope that this era of rediscovering God will be a fruitful one because I do not want to be far from God again. 

I loved all the parables but I will only be discussing some of them:

Workers in the vineyard (Matthew 20:1-16)

When I first encountered this parable, my initial reaction was that the owner was unfair that he paid all workers the same wage when they did not work the same amount of hours. But then, I also realized that the workers themselves agreed to the wages. What this parable showed us is God’s mercy is available to all, His love and grace is inclusive; everyone is provided the opportunity to become part of His kingdom regardless of their past which reminded me of what Jesus said that there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents (Luke 15:10) and also when Jesus showed mercy to the repentant thief at the cross. It is easy for us to judge others, especially those with “dirty” pasts when they suddenly became “one of us.” But then, who are we to gatekeep Jesus? Who are we to decide who we want in our Church? Who are we to act unwelcoming of others? Everyone can be given mercy and forgiveness regardless of who they are or used to be because God’s love is abundant and His grace is available to all.

2. Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37)

The commandment “Love your neighbor as yourself” was a difficult one but Jesus always shows us that it can be done. As a flawed human, it is difficult to actually love my fellow humans because some people are just so difficult to deal with. I guess I’m not the only one who feels some kind of indifference towards others. Ngl, I’m a bit judgy. It’s just that it is hard to be accepting or welcoming of people who are different from you. But Jesus taught us a valuable lesson through this parable. The other people who passed by the injured man could have helped but they did not. It was only when a Samaritan passed by that the man received help. The Samaritan did not only help him with his wounds but also went the extra mile of ensuring that he had a place to stay while recovering; the Samaritan paid for the man’s lodging and even informed the innkeeper that he will pay for any extra cost once he returned. It was not the Samaritan’s duty to help the injured man, but he was compassionate enough to do so. This parable showed us that as children of God, we must aspire to be like Jesus whose love, mercy, grace and compassion is extended to all and that every person we encounter is our neighbor. The parable showed us that our prejudice towards our neighbors are making us divided which in turn makes us dismissive. We should all learn how to move past the differences and remember that we are all the same despite the differences in background, appearance, financial status, or residence. We should not be selective in showing compassion and help.

3. Counting the Cost (Luke 14:28-33)

I know I am not the only Christian who struggle with understanding what Jesus said in Matthew 16:24 when He said “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” After the life changing “coming home to God” I experienced in late 2023, I was faced with the question “What does it take to become a disciple?” and Jesus has an answer to that but it was my own mind who cannot fully comprehend what it means to take up the cross; I don’t know if I’m just not smart enough to easily understand things or it was my pride. I guess I got it wrong before, choosing to walk with Jesus does not mean you will only experience good things. Actually, I feel like the more I try to work on being closer to God, the stronger the evil forces I am dealing with because my 2024 is filled with so many challenges. But just like what Jesus said in this parable, when you intend to do something you must count the cost first. If I really want to make this relationship with God work, I should be more determined in listening and following God’s words and fully understand what it means to be a follower of Jesus. In short, surrender. If being with God means giving up the earthly desires, the desires which lead me to sins, then it means I finally understood His message. The cost of following Jesus means to fully surrender and put all of your faith in Him. 

4. New Cloth and wineskin (Mark 2:21-22)

There are two points made from this short parable - first, Jesus’ new way is the right way and second, Jesus established a new covenant. This parable showed a simple analogy  - you cannot put a new fabric as a way to patch up or fix an old cloth the same way that you cannot use an old wineskin when storing new wine for it will lead to ruin. It was a great analogy to inform us that the old practices or rituals can be left behind in the past for the new covenant has arrived through Jesus. Jesus emphasized that the grace of God is extended to everyone because God is graceful and merciful not because people are religiously practicing rituals. Because Jesus was sent to free us from sin, the Son of Man removed the curtain that separates God and humanity. Therefore, our focus should not be on the perfect practices of various rituals but in living a life that focuses on mercy and compassion. I relate this to the message of Jesus in Matthew 23:23 during His woes to the pharisees, which emphasizes that it is useless to religiously follow rituals when the heart is full of greed.

5. Persistent widow and crooked judge (Luke 18:2-8)

This is one of my favorite parables because Jesus’ analogy of the persistent widow’s actions with the importance of consistent prayer is simple yet effective. Often when I pray and feel like God is not responding, I tend to lose faith and just abandon what I was praying for. It was difficult for me to understand God’s timing because I was so used to living in a world filled with due dates and deadlines. It was so easy for me to make everything have a timeline. But this parable is a reminder to us about the importance of prayer and how God listens to us and He answers us - although sometimes not in the way we want Him to. The crooked judge in the parable only gave in to the widow’s request so that he cannot be bothered anymore but Jesus reminded us in Luke 18:7-8, “And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” I hope I can learn to fully trust God with my life and learn how to pray with faith - not just pray when I have time to spare.

6. Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:10-14)

This parable is a great reminder of humility. Comparison, sometimes, is the reason why a person is either miserable or too full of themselves. One of the reasons why I stay away from the Church are the fellow church goers who feel as if they are above everyone else. It sucks being judged by those people because in a way you will feel unworthy of God because you are not like them. Tbh, those overly religious people have turned more people away from God instead of welcoming them to the church (yes, it is my religious trauma speaking). Last year, I found myself in the same position as the tax collector. I found myself being ashamed of who I am and yet I prayed to God. It was a small step but I found myself approaching God and asking for His mercy and did not bring up or dare to compare myself to others - it was just about how sorry I was for being away for so long. It was not an easy road and I still find myself a bit conflicted as I walk with God, but the fact that I found the guts to come back is just proof that God’s grace is abundant as He extended it to me.

7. Rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31)

I often find myself questioning God why I seem to be living a life of punishment yet people who are more horrible than me seem to be living a good life. Why are those people living comfortably? Why am I struggling to get by when I committed no crime? Those are my usual questions. But then, there comes this parable which became a reminder that earthly riches, at the end of the day, do not matter to God. It is not about the amount of money you made or the amount of properties you owned or the amount of awards you achieved that matters to God but how you lived your life and what is in your heart. If you spend your life in riches but have not done anything to help the needy and lived a Godly life, then what’s the point? This parable made me remember the verse Mark 8:36 “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” Truly, when death comes to us, we cannot bring all the riches of the world. Eternal life is only found in God.

Woe to you, Pharisees (Matthew 23)

I came across this statement while browsing through social media that says “If the Jesus you have met has not changed your life, you have not met Jesus you met religion” and it is crazy how I agreed to that. One of the reasons why I walked away from God aside from my personal struggles are the religious people. I find it ironic that these people are the ones who end up driving people away from God and the Church when they are supposed to bring people closer to God. These overly-religious people who love to see everyone’s fault but cannot see their own have driven more people away from God. It is crazy how Jesus called out the religious leaders during His time on Earth yet these so-called followers of Him in the present are doing the very same things. I, myself, have experienced interacting with these “religious people” and they can get really annoying to deal with. Most of them are my relatives by the way. It was exhausting having to deal with these people, it felt like torment. There are even cases when they decide to kick people out of the Church because of disagreements which are contradictory to what Jesus has preached. If Jesus welcomed the sick and the sinners then why are these so called christians have become more known for their hate instead of love? Hence, the saying “there is no love like Christian hate”

As I was watching The Chosen (sorry, but I will always mention this show), I came across this episode from season 4 in which Jesus confronted the pharisees; the scene was their on-screen adaptation of Matthew chapter 23 or the 7 woes of Jesus. I was unfamiliar  with this event so after I watched the episode, I opened my bible and read it. This ended up being one of my favorite Jesus moments because it showed that standing up to the oppressive rule or to the authorities is something that we should not avoid especially when they are doing too much wrong. Jesus calling them blind guides was meant as a wake up call for them to realize that they are not truly doing God’s works. These same people cannot practice what they preach because they are more concerned about traditions, appearances, tithes and other earthly things while totally neglecting the more important things like justice, mercy, faithfulness and compassion. They have become exclusive instead of inclusive; instead of drawing people closer to God, they are the first ones to close the doors. Jesus was sent to this world to save it so He showed what a real relationship with God is all about and not what religion should be. I just find it disheartening that centuries later, these “christians” are very focused on “religious practices” while allowing their hearts to be filled with hate. How can one claim to be a Christian and fail to practice what Jesus has preached?

Jesus wept (John 11:35)

John 11:35 is the shortest verse in the bible but it is the most comforting verse for me. This verse became a source of comfort because it gave me an assurance that in my times of pain and anguish, God understood because Jesus knew the feeling of it. For someone who was used to bottling up emotions, crying has always been something I try so hard to avoid. I hate it when tears stream down my face so I learned pretty early in life to hold it in and I lived like that for years. I just do not want to confirm that I am weak hence the reluctance to cry. But coming across this verse, and knowing the context, I found a different kind of comfort. If Jesus himself who is 100% God and 100% human acknowledged grief and pain, then I should also allow myself to acknowledge my feelings. With every tear that streams down my face and every pain in the chest that I feel, it is comforting to know that Jesus understands. I also like to correlate this verse with another bible verse that I find so much comfort in which is Matthew 11:28 which says “Come to me you weary and heavy-ladened and I will give you rest”

The bread of life (John 6:35)

Jesus has said “I am” statements 7 times in the bible and one of the statements which became “controversial” is when He said in John 6:35 “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty” for it was a strong statement that He is essential and the skeptical people of His time cannot accept it. It was also stated that after His declaration of being the bread of life, many of His disciples have left. If we take this statement literally, then we will really find it difficult to understand what Jesus meant in John 6:53-56 “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them.” because that is not what Jesus meant. What he meant was unless we surrender our life to Him and let go of the earthly desires we have, then we will never be close to God. We often have this assumption that being religious means God will always reward us but that is not the case because after all, the kingdom of God is not of this world. I gotta admit I was also guilty of that assumption before. I thought that once you became a part of the church, then you start receiving abundance of blessings and miracles or in short, I made my relationship with God to be “transactional” I described it as transactional because before I made it seem like if I pray a lot or if I always attend mass then God will bless me but that is not the case. I was expecting my relationship with God to be filled with earthly things because I thought that is how it should work so it was not a surprise when I encountered a lot of heart breaks and challenges that I ended up turning away from Him. I had the nerve to get mad and tell God the words “after all the prayers I did and mass I attended, this is how you repay me?” and that was so wrong of me to do. You see, I had it all wrong before so I ran away from God like the prodigal son. But it was God’s mercy and grace that brought me back and it was through His only begotten son Jesus. The way I came home to God in late 2023 is a testament of how Jesus is truly the bread of life. My life felt so meaningless and dark during those times that I was far from God but when Jesus found me at my lowest moment, I felt alive. Now, I am slowly relearning what it means to be a follower of Christ. It was difficult at first but in fully surrendering and opening my heart to the words and teachings of Jesus, I find it to be a meaningful journey. I do not want to be ever separated from Jesus again. He is the only Way to God.

As I mentioned before, the New Testament is not foreign to me unlike the Old Testament but re-reading it now that I am older and have more experience in life (both good and bad alike), I find myself being surprised at how I got some things wrong before. It was one thing to be “faithful” to God when things in your life are doing well but it was a different kind of being “faithful” to God when things are going downward spiral and I realized and understand it now. The true meaning of faith is holding on to God’s promises and remaining in Him despite being thrown in the middle of the storm and Jesus has shown me that through Him, I can handle anything that life throws at me. Jesus is truly the Son of God who was sent to this world to save us. He has shown us signs and miracles as a way of showing us that God’s grace and mercy is available to all, He has invited us to be a part of His ministry, He has told us valuable life lessons through His parables, He has shown us what a real relationship with God should be, and He has acknowledged our pain and grieved with us. I cannot imagine life without Jesus. I hope that as a follower of Jesus, I can be an instrument of showing others that God’s mercy and grace is available to all and we are all welcome in His kingdom. I hope I can be the kind of Christian that can bring more people to God instead of pushing them away. I hope that my faith in God will always be strong. And I hope that this time I finally know what it means to fully surrender and put all my trust in Him.

X,

TinaMae

PS, it took me so long to finish writing this because I have a lot of things going on in my life. This will not be the last time I will be sharing about my thoughts on the bible. I will keep on re-reading the bible and if I have the time to write, I will share my thoughts about them. I hope I can write various articles here like discussion of the books of wisdom and the letters of Paul. 

[llevii1222]

Levi Benedict C. Lumpas

12 INDIUM

Rewind is a Filipino movie I found to be very touching and moving and I cried at the end. The film is centered on Dingdong Dantes who is a husband who is given a second chance to travel back in time in order to correct his wrongs in a bid to save his wife Marian Rivera. But there is one scene that got me, where Dingdong’s character sacrifices his life to Lods just to get back in the past to save his wife from dying. This moment struck me because it is so true, we are willing to do so much for the people we care about because of our screw-ups.

This I got to see when Dingdong sacrificed his entire life in a bid to correct the past, something that most of us desire to do when we realize that we have wronged a loved one. The guilt that his character had was something that I could easily relate to since I had felt the same way before. Whenever we cause pain to another person, particularly to that close to us, we are overwhelmed with guilt and we think that we deserve to suffer more than the other person. That guilt was portrayed in Dingdong’s character and yet, he was willing to put that aside and be selfless just to save his wife. It depicted how love motivates people to lay down their lives and die for the welfare of others without regard to their own lives.

The movie is great in depicting how guilt can overwhelm a person, particularly when the latter’s error results in an irreversible negative outcome. It was heart-wrenching to see Dingdong struggling to make amends for his mistakes which actually made me think about how in life, we do not appreciate the consequences of our actions until the bitter end. The desperation he portrayed in the eyes, and his struggle against time to save Marian’s character, it was so realistic and it made me think a lot of “If” scenarios. If only I had acted differently in some circumstances? If only I had been more attentive to people who are close to me?

I think the song "Sa Susunod na Habang Buhay" was the most emotional part of the movie for me because of the scenes it was played. The lyrics, especially the portion “Baka sa susunod nalang na habang buhay” (Maybe in the next lifetime), made me cry even more. It brought me to question how in life there are moments that no matter how hard we try we cannot reverse them and all that is left is to wait for the next life to correct the mistakes made. The lyrics of the song which pointed out the fact that some things cannot be undone in this life was a sobering truth and I felt it.

What made this movie even more impactful is that it made me conscious of the fact that life is really short. Sitting and pondering over what one did wrong and saying to oneself, “If only I had not done this or that?” can serve a purpose in preventing the same mistake in the future but it cannot alter the past. It is what we are left with, and we have to start valuing the people who are still around us before they are no longer around.

The film made me recall a common saying that people only appreciate the value of an individual when he or she is no longer around. Seeing Dingdong trying to rescue Marian from the repercussions of his actions was somewhat familiar to me. In my life, I have had instances where I used people without realizing how much they meant to me until they were gone. It made me think a lot about those moments and it made me cry more because it reminded me of the suffering I have gone through.

Rewind not only influenced my thoughts about romantic relationships but also about all my dear ones – my family, relatives, and friends. It was a reminder to always appreciate them and spend as much time as we could with them because “Lods” (God) could take them away at any time. The movie also taught me the value of cherishing our time with our loved ones and not taking a single moment for granted.

Therefore, Rewind is not only a love story but also a story of life, guilt, and the uncertainty of time. It made me cry, not because of the plot but because it was so close to home and I could relate to it on so many levels. I left the movie with a different perception of how I interact with people and the significance of never losing sight of the value of a friend. It is a movie that leaves one with a heart full of emotions and a mind full of thoughts once the movie is over.

[applesandbannas747]

Do you think Eugene and Jesse would be the type of couple who would break up and then reconnect? Imagine Jesse and Eugene having a big argument during Eugene's graduation, wherein Jesse would have an explosive tirade saying stuff like, "I thought you wanted fencing. You're already doing so well, becoming a captain after being a reserve?" Eugene answering with sth practical Filipino "breadwinner" attitude wherein he's always prioritized his family first, and providing for them and that he plans on being the first doctor in the family, that while he loves fencing, he doesn't have it in him to live the full time athlete life. Jesse, devastated, hurt and confused, fights back with, "maybe we should break up." So they did. The years following their breakup was tough for Jesse and while they didn't unfollow each other on sns (something that Jesse is thankful for) Jesse watching Eugene grow through sns posts/tagged photos brings back all the hurt he's felt when they broke up. Harder still was when Jesse saw Eugene tagged in a post of a candid picture of him and a girl whom Jesse learned was Eugene's classmate in med school visiting Eugene's relatives in the Philippines. He recalled Eugene saying something like, "I'd bring you to the Philippines, when we're older because I know you're the one." Maybe Jesse and Eugene would meet up again because Eugene's sister insisted that he needs to be her plus one on a Labao family thing, and knowing Jesse, he'd probably agree to it. Jesse slowly warmed up again to the rest of the Labaos. Eugene's mother going "Hijo, my, how you've grown. Still gwapo. I watch your fencing matches on the tv when I come across them on ESPN. My Eugene does too, sometimes, but don't let him know I told you that." XD xD

oh man the breaking up and reconnecting years later trope is a hard sale for me, but when it's done right, it's so fun for all the angst and i love that shittt omfg in LOVE with Eugene taking someone else to the Philippines when he always used to tell Jesse he'd take him TT.TT that hurts so good my dude Jesse would be devastated 💜 also love Eugene's mom calling him out for watching Jesse's matches XD

[chaotic-nick]

Note: Filipino diaspora gallore, self indulgent, Getou is sort of based on me [racially ambiguous + raised up in a multicultural country], unedited (I typed this on my phone)

Not even twenty-four hours since I watched jjk and I'm already feeling inspired wow. I've been enabled by the equally chaotic @stigandr-the-cat to write this and check out @wynncrites version of Filipino AU! Getou

I love that my last post for the year will be something from one of my cultures!

Filipino! Getou is born to a Filipina mother who went to Japan for work, eventuallymeeting his Japanese Father. Being one of the Filipinos at the time his mother volunteered to help at the embassy when she became a stay at home wife/mom.

Because there were less Filipino speakers at the time, young Getou was dragged along to volunteer day at the embassy where Filipino workers who waited to go home would babysit him.

That's how he informally learnt Tagalog, and and a dialect used in the northern Philippines called Ilocano! Multilingual Getou let's go!

Getou and his mother visits extended family in Philippines with gifts from Japan. When he was a kid he would beg his mom to take him yo shopping trips where they'd buy presents or in Tagalog 'pasalubong'

However with time, and seeing how his relatives treated his poor mother and only loved them because of lapad he slowly starts hating his family. Or starts seeing the bad in all of them, even if he wanted to ignore it or try to count how many good things they've done, he can't help but see them like that.

[Lapad: Filipinos with relatives working in Japan use this to call Japanese Yen because when stacked together they look a mini wood plank]

No one is ever convinced when Getou says he's half Filipino when in the Philippines.

Speaks the language well, but because he doesn't look *filipino enough* people or his relatives invite themselves to speak shit in front of him.

Them: *noticing getou just there in the room* fo you think he understands Tagalog?

I dunno, go ask him

Hey you, you there. You speak Tagalog?

Getou: 'di masyado' not much

[This happens to many times and he's used to it by now]

His guilty pleasure? Eating with his hands and one foot propped up on the chair. The southeast asian pose as tiktok calls it.

One time he invited Satoru to study at his place and Getou's mom being happy that her son started bringing his friends home made sure that Satoru ate well.

Hwr intentions were well, but now Satoru always hovers over him when he opens his bento hoping that it's rice and adobo (or caldereta, Toscino, Beefsteak, etc)

Or Gojo always asks when he can come over to eat with them. It's a compliment to Getou's mom, to him? It's a bother.

'Look,' he says to Gojo as he gives him his bowl of adobo with more extra peppercorns, 'You don't have to ask me. Its annoying. You ate here once, you're always welcome here now. Asking is too repetitive'

[Referring to kain culture, where anyone is welcome to eat at your house or when a person looking for you finds you eating at home you invite them. And I just had to add my mom always feeding everyone of my friends despite cultural differences!]

Additionally, Getou in the Philippines would include:

Being treated like an entertainment piece where his relatives would ask him to give them a sample of Japanese and/or the languages he knows. All them going wow when they hear said language despite not knowing it.

[Experiencing this was such a pain]

Following his mom to markets with the basket in hand because he's just so fascinated. One time he brought a camera with him to take pictures with to show Satoru back home.

Is always excited to ride a jeepney, pedicab and more. Definitely asked his mom once if he could hang at the back of the jeepney ... the jeepney was empty

[Commuters hang at the side of the jeepneys when the inside is full during rush hour to get home. Funfact: jeepneys were left by American soldiers in the Philippines]

Asks his mom for spare change or barya to buy soda. And then asks the shopkeeper to put the soda in the plastic bag!

[In the Philippines and other southeast asian nations they pour drinks in narrow plastic bags with a straw! An experience I recommend]

Because he's half Japanese and has all the looks, he's automatically made the godparent or ninong for every kid born in his extended family or around the area he lives.

Would ask his mom if he could pursue his uni studies in the Philippines to feel beyond the culture he already knows and experience life there.

It's getting long wow, might make a part 2! But thank you for reading all of this, I hope you enjoyed this ❤️

[jadevine]

Unreal Unearth reactions!

While I got stuck on "First Time" for a few hours, I am baffled at how people seem to think the album's "too bluesy." This dude has ALWAYS done at least one folk/blues song per album. Are people just mad because he's not doing more "IRISH BOG MAN" songs?

I made the naive decision to look at some reviews of Unreal Unearth, which lasted until I read a review where the person said it's a weak album where he now sounds "normal/pop" and "defanged" except for two songs.

You know what this sounds like to me as an artist? Like he's playing with styles. If I really had to lock down a "theme" to the album, I find it more pop-standard or wartime-music than anything else, and his melodies and octave-stretching are never going to be "regular music."

Behind the cut for length.

--

-De Selby Part 1 - lovely way to start the album, but it might be too quiet for some. This is the kind of song I'd put on when I need to decompress and potentially fall asleep, which is a really good compliment from my high-strung and insomniac ass.

Gonna look up the posts from fans about what the Irish verses say, but I will talk about Shared Colonization Issues in Butchered Tongue. Lovely song, but I think its placement was off as one of the quietest tracks. I would have put this and "De Selby Part 2" with Butchered Tongue and made another song the first track, so people get warmed up.

--

-De Selby Part 2 - most definitely a callback to his soul sound, but with the bass and electric bits, it starts to feel more like motown or funk. Very dark and almost grungy bass, and I like it. This is a song that people would ask to use for a movie's climax, or for a big-money episode of a TV show--a season-finale, a long-awaited fight, or even the end of the show.

--

-First Time - my immediate favorite. GET READY FOR AN ESSAY, LOL. So I think Andrew's voice is perfect for big-band/swing and it feels like a follow-up to "Someone New" on his debut album. Andrew has the high notes, the low notes, and the flexibility to pull off jazz melodies, so this is just a really nice song for him to do some big vocal/melody stretches. If anyone knows the cover-band Postmodern Jukebox where they cover songs in old-time styles, covering "First Time" would be redundant unless they specifically rework it in the least jazzy style, BUT!!! I think PMJ would do a fantastic collaboration if they just get all their musicians and singers to back up Hozier!

In true Hozier style, this song is adorable and yet the lyrics talk about severe depression, with how the singer used to hate hearing people say his name and his actual soul was miserable.

Remember once I told you about How before I heard it from your mouth My name would always hit my ears as such an awful sound And the soul, if that's what you'd call it Uneasy ally of the body, it felt nameless as a river Undiscovered underground

And the first time that you kissed me I drank dry the River Lethe The Liffey would have been softer on my stomach all the same But you spoke some quick new music That went so far to soothe this soul As it was and ever shall be, unearth without a name

When you take it literally, this gives me a lot of Filipino Spirituality Feelings. Our souls are said to wander when we 1) sleep, 2) get the shit scared out of us WHILE we sleep (such as a nightmare), 3) go hiking in the wilderness and our soul gets distracted and forgets to catch up, and 4) are possibly ill/stressed in general, because I thinnnnnnk some people believe certain illnesses are a sign of poor spiritual health. Do not take my word, though.

Normally we can just call our souls back because souls LIKE staying near their bodies--but like children, you gotta keep an eye on them. If your soul is too far away or if they stay out too long, they risk getting lost and/or kidnapped by a witch.

That's usually when your local folk-healer, relative-who-deals-with-the-spirits, or a GOOD witch has to do a reverse-exorcism/gang interrogation. I say "gang interrogation" because a lot of times, people start magically injuring you with special items, and that would actually be hurting THE WITCH wherever they are, which forces them to stop and give your soul back.

So Filipino Hozier's soul has been wandering beneath the earth, in the aquifers and caves and deep rivers, and he can't get it to come back. His family would be calling their relative-who-deals-with-the-spirits because "hey Tito/Tita, we think Kuya Hozier's soul got kidnapped! He's always miserable, and we don't know why!" until Significant Other arrives and the song gets Much, Much Happier.

"First Time" is a fucking adorable bop. It's peppy and I want to frolic on the beach! The chorus is also PRIME "misaimed wedding playlist" bait for people who don't listen to the rest of the lyrics.

Some part of me must have died The first time that you called me, "Baby" And some part of me came alive The first time that you called me, "Baby."

Like FUCK, this chorus is lovely. So pleasant and full of sunshine. But the rest of the song is bittersweet because uh, the couple has clearly broken up at the end. The singer does understand that this is life and you just gotta take the good with the bad.

I love Andrew's vocalizing from earlier albums, so I'm surprised he barely did any in a song that clearly harkens to jazz. But the melody roams a lot, so he might have thought scat-singing was too much for now. If he does this live, I am begging Future-Hozier to cut loose and improvise between the verses.

--

-Butchered Tongue - Another great song, but for the least-fun reasons. Time for severe mood-whiplash, as TV Tropes says. FILIPINO COLONIZATION FEELINGS AHOY.

This song is devastating, as a Filipino-American who enjoys languages but cannot speak her family's language (Tagalog) much better than a five-year-old.

Many people have the mistaken belief that Tagalog is "half/mostly Spanish," but IT MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT. Back in the 1500s, the only people who were guaranteed to know Spanish on the islands were the Spanish-born/descended nobles, their servants, and the monasteries, and that was like the top 10% of society if not less. The closest we got was the Chavacano creole, and it still used a lot of Austronesian grammar and reduplication.

I also used to think Tagalog was half-Spanish, but that lasted right up until I tried to watch "Like Water For Chocolate" without the English subtitles, lmao. I'm pretty sure I only understand as much Spanish as I do because I live in California, which used to be Mexico. Sure, Tagalog borrowed some basic Spanish words like basura, caballo, and kumusta, but we still have native equivalents like "taponan," "kuda," or "magandang araw/gabi." The bulk of our language is still firmly Austronesian and when I was growing up, I usually heard people call Tagalog "ugly" or "weird."

So we didn't learn much Spanish, but guess which colonizer DID impose their language on us so they could "civilize" us for the modern world? AMERICA, THAT'S WHO!

My parents didn't teach me Tagalog when I was young because they didn't want me to grow up with an accent, and this is a problem as a struggling writer. Here I am, trying to incorporate Filipino mythology and language into my work--but while I understand Tagalog and I know how to read words/names, I can't actually SPEAK IT in a conversation unless it's really basic, and I still sound like a five-year-old. I have to rely on online Tagalog translators for a lot, and I'm never really sure if the grammar is right, or if the words are actually Bisayan or Ilokano because the dictionary I used is operating with the "Filipino language" that isn't properly Tagalog, but a mishmash of drastically different languages.

Some Filipinos from the homeland mock the diaspora for not being able to speak our languages well, and they usually say we're "not really Filipino" or "not Filipino enough." I have gotten a couple of comments wondering why I bother to learn baybayin, if I barely know what I'm actually WRITING in it.

As a Filipino-American, the impression that I get from Butchered Tongue is, "The language barrier forced on you by colonizers has swept you away from your ancestors/family like a great wave. You yearn to go back home and speak your family's language, but the damage is done; there is no one left to teach you, or nobody who WANTS to teach you. Is there really a place you can call 'home' if neither your colonizers nor your people accept you as theirs?"

People often feel that their voice changes when they switch languages, and I wonder what I'd sound like if I could speak GOOD Tagalog. But instead I stumble around with my childish speaking abilities trapped behind decent reading skills and baybayin, and sometimes it feels like I got my tongue cut off.

If you asked me to speak Tagalog right now, you will hear the gears turning in my head, and I'm always worried that I'll butcher it. If I think too hard, I will panic and forget the words for basic body parts, or how to count to ten properly.

A+ song about Ireland's colonization. If this was the only good song in this album, Unreal Unearth would be worth it. You did it again, you fucking giant Irishman.

[purplesurveys]

1845

What were you doing before you started taking this survey? I feel like a fool remembering how I thought Saturday was going to be a rest day, because today has been everything but. Before this survey, we went to pick up paint for my sister's room; I went to my dentist appointment; dropped by Feliz to get ensaymadas my mom needed to pick up; three different drive-thrus because by lunch we were all starving, only to be met by super long lines so we just gave up; then had homemade lunch at home.

Now it's 4:12 PM and I hardly have a weekend left because we'll still need to go to church tonight, then I have an all-day event for work tomorrow + a wrestling show to attend in the evening.

Do you live somewhere where it’s completely safe to walk alone at night? I do, because it's a gated subdivision. The moment I step outside of the village and into the main highway might be a different story.

Have you ever lived with someone who was a total slob? No, we like keeping the house tidy. Even at its messiest I'd say it'd still be considered relatively clean. A lot of households I've been to are super cluttered so I'm lucky my family didn't fall under that trap.

Would you rather be able to talk to animals or be fluent in every language? If you were fluent in every language surely that includes animal ones? < There we go, haha.

Does your kitchen have a pantry? Yes.

Do you live below your means? Or do you spend every penny you have? I live below it because after three years of doing exactly the opposite and spending money as long as I have it, I finally learned how unhealthy and unsustainable it is. I hardly touch my earnings now and my biggest current vice is just spending on food because I don't know how to cook.

What are some foods you enjoy cooking? I don't know how to cook and can't see myself enjoying it.

Have you ever watched Battlestar Galactica? Nope.

Can others often tell what you’re feeling by your facial expressions? Yeah I'm pretty transparent but that's also because I don't like keeping things in. If I'm happy you'll know it, if I'm pissed people will definitely recognize it.

Have you ever interviewed a job applicant at your workplace? Yes, it's a regular part of my role.

Did you ever skip class when you were in school? If so, was there a particular class that you skipped the most? I couldn't skip class because my mom liked seeing us off hahaha. If I did choose to be absent, it was with her permission.

In your opinion, what is it that makes someone a good person? Doing things with compassion and sincerity. I really look up to people who can be genuine at all times.

Are you happy with the life you’re living? It's mostly okay, but there are things I still wish could be different.

How do your political beliefs compare to those of your parents? I lean on the left-wing and my parents are neutral more than anything, but that said I wouldn't say we clash. They just don't care for the most part.

What do you think of the Baby Boomer generation? Ruins most things, but maybe that's just my experience with Filipino boomers. Insufferable.

Have you ever gone over 3 months without shaving/waxing your legs? I've probably done that before.

Are you high-maintenance? In some aspects but I wouldn't say it's my entire personality as I can be lax about other things.

What was the last non-fiction book you read? AJ Lee's autobiography.

Would you ever consider being a foster parent? No.

Are you able to crack any of your joints? Can't.

What’s your favorite movie genre? Drama and thriller.

What’s something that’s been on your mind a lot lately? My future at my workplace, saving up for a place to live, saving up for my US trip ten years down the line to fulfill my childhood dream of going to Wrestlemania. As for short-term – my birthday! Hahaha.

What was the last thing someone asked you for advice on? My mom asked me to help pick out a shade for my sister's room as she was still asleep when we went to the store and we needed to go by her request which was simply 'off-white' lol.

Have you ever kissed 3 or more people in the same day? No.

What’s your opinion on lottery tickets? Waste of money, or no? It's harmless if it's like one ticket. Just don't let it become an obsession.

What are some things that make others cry, that don’t make you cry at all? Wedding videos.

Are you a very detail-oriented person? Or are you better at seeing the big picture? Details. I need them.

Do you have any upcoming plans with friends? We've talked about Korea in 2025 but we'll see how that pans out. I'm definitely committed to prepare for it but I don't think they're at that point yet.

What was the last picture message you received, and from whom? Just something from work.

Have you ever swam in a saltwater pool? No.

What kinds of leisure activities did your family do together when you were growing up? We didn't have a lot. My fondest memories were going to the arcade and booking staycations in hotels, but even then they all mean a lot in their own ways.

What color suits you more: teal or black? I'd say black.

What continent do you live on? Asia.

[ilovetheseattlemariners]

A waltz for the night

In the middle of reading something for CRWR 205 (fuck that class by the way) and it came up that writing about trauma can serve as therapy. Guess I'm here now. Guess you're here for me. I'm thankful for you.

In a few hours I'll be at YVR, will be looking out the window onto the Toronto lights, will be breathing in that Toronto air. I dunno. I feel something poignant about it. I'd once (and still want to) write a poem about the Filipino's relationship to airports. Spent a lot of time at airports as a kid, roaming the airport at night (really a magical place), falling in and out of sleep, saying goodbye to relatives. This leaving, too, feels poignant. Even though it really is only a sabbatical. I am returning here.

But spent a good chunk of today just looking for someone to say goodbye to. No cellist girl, no CRWR girl, no French girl. Childhood friend, though. Except I felt nothing for her when I saw her. Maybe I'd just conditioned myself. Maybe that link up yesterday made me gay. I was thinking about this passage. I think Bourdain said it, I even want to say he was talking about the Philippines. Maybe I'm just imagining things. Maybe I dream of them often. Anyways it went something like:

"The real determinant for whether or not you had a successful trip somewhere occurs when you leave. If nobody's there at the airport to see you go then you failed. If there's a group of people seeing you out, teary-eyed, then you've done a good job."

Sorry this girl on the bus that is goth has such a pretty laugh.

Anyways, I guess I failed leaving Vancouver. Says a lot about my friend circle. I really don't feel a deep connection to anyone here. Like, whenever I recall the deep connections I had with people in Kelowna, I think of how we all knew each others' favourite Monster Energy Drinks, and we'd get each other our favourite Monsters. And we couldn't both have the same favourite Monster. That was sweet. That's friendship. A good friend of mine from that time — the only person I still regularly talk to, unfortunately — just told me that she feels as. though she fumbled her mans. I guess its fumbling season.

Anyways I'm hoping to be in bed with someone tonight. I know I won't be, but here's to hoping. If you were real, do you think we'd get along together, knowing all you know about me?

[leche-flandom]

The Phils, 2023

I feel far removed enough from our trip to the Phils last year to write down memories of it to remember in my old age. Sans any real traumatic details, of course.

-Korean Airlines flight safety videos are presented through music videos by kpop idols, lol.

-Perhaps sensing the dysfunctional hell it was about to travel to, the straps and zipper on my husband's duffel bag spontaneously ripped on our first layover, so he had to buy a replacement. But we were in LA with only hoity toity luggage stores around, and the cost of a carry on case of the same size was insane! The next best thing we could do was a tiny book bag that cost $85. It's the perfect size for our daughter, lol.

-My father, to his literally dying days, remains an utter snob and asshole. The way he treated my mom, my mom's helper, my mom's helper's children, me, and various relatives reminded me that his condition doesn't excuse or erase everything else he's done. There's no last minute character redemption from him in his old age. He still tried to manipulate me (and partially succeeded, if I'm being honest). I didn't want to go on this trip. I had a meltdown at LAX before boarding, actually. But at least the whole thing reconfirmed my perspective of him.

-My aunt and mom tried to say that they're not chismosas because they only discuss family drama with other family. But my grandparents were productive as hell y'all, and I think "other family" constitutes 25% of the city's population. For example, on various outings we'd get lost and we'd stop to ask directions from pedestrians. Twice we ended up discovering the person giving us directions was related to us in some way. They learned that the beach venue my mom booked for a family reunion was owned by a relative of my paternal grandmother. Can't throw a rock without hitting kin there. I'm sure if my parents hadn't emigrated, I'd have accidentally dated a cousin or something.

-Ironically, we went to a wedding and during the vows my cousin was like, "Wait...I don't recognize anyone here." We had arrived late, after all (Filipino time), so there was a good chance we were watching strangers tie the knot. She had to sneak around the pews until she found the mother of the bride and confirmed we weren't crashing.

-My husband's never been the minority before, so when we'd go out and people would unsubtly stare or talk about him, he said, "Huh. So that's what that feels like." While I was of course happy to have him and my daughter with me, I did sort of regret that I was unable to enjoy the ability to blend in when I was out and about with them.

-I tried to warn my family what the heat is like the second you step out of the airport (like walking into a wall of hot wet cotton). Even then, the moment we were outside, my kid went, "You weren't kidding!"

-It was harder to find the vibrant, colorful jeepneys this time around, because they're unfortunately being phased out. Just another reason for me to detest this government.

-Fiesta was fun, but the speakers and lights of the amateur talent performances stage caused a blackout for our entire block. Apparently this happens every year. C'mon man. They need to be more cautious considering how much folks need their fans and AC units. At one point, the weather forecast said "84*F, record low." TF you mean, record low?

-My daughter made two "BFFs" while there. One was my mom's helper's daughter, a sweet little 5 year old whose fam conveniently lives in the basement apartment of our house (and seeing her in the upper levels playing with his granddaughter really bugged my snob father, which was a plus). The other was my favorite cousin's daughter, on my mother's side.

-We didn't see much of my father's relatives, which I was fine with. A lot of them think we should let bygones be bygones and pretend that my dad never did all the terrible things he's done. But there was one cousin on my father's side, R, with whom I often fought when we were younger. R's mom brought R's daughter over one day, and she and my kid did NOT get along. The asshole gene is a dominant one.

-It's pretty well known that I have a bad temper, which I've struggled to control for all my life. After spending so many consecutive days with my parents, my husband said it's surprising that I didn't turn out to be an angrier person, HA! My father is my father, and my mom is...not maternal, to say the least.

-The family house is in pretty poor condition, which I expected because my dad had been spending the upkeep/repair money my mom sent him on other things, and that was really hard for my germaphobic anxiety. But we couldn't stay at an airbnb or hotel because my mom tried really hard to spruce it up for our visit. My sister and I dramatically assigned meaning to how their extravagant house, which they insisted being built American-style, ultimately crumbled and failed in their home country. (English lit majors, y'all. We're insufferable.)

-Gosh, I do NOT know what to do with those super helpful, hovering sales associates in most stores. I much preferred the ones who peaced out when they heard us speak English because they didn't want to risk a nosebleed (a common joke among Filipinos, even though your average Filipino's knowledge of English is SO MUCH MORE impressive than any foreigner's knowledge of Tagalog, due to schooling and western media saturation).

-Folks just...call on each other without warning? Even though we all have the means now to ask if a visit would be okay ahead of time? And, whether anyone was home or not, we (or the helper) were obligated to give these unannounced guests merienda? As if this was Regency England or something? I did not like that. I did not like that at all. Fiesta day was the worst day, with dozens of relatives in & out and talking all at once. But at least my mom bought me a whole sans rival that day, so that was nice, even if my cousins ended up eating half of it.

-Joshua & Warlen of Tayabas City make the best pastillas. They're the perfect crumbly texture. And the perfect size to hold between my fingers like a cigarette. I need a lifetime supply.

-While getting around the city, I was worried about the lack of booster seat or safety buckles for my kid before I was reminded that the cars, tricycles, and jeepneys weave so slowly around each other that the risk of a major accident is pretty low.

-Spending so much time with my daughter convinced my sister and her husband that they don't want to have children, which is doing everyone a favor really. Good job kid.

-Everywhere you look, there is a mango, tamarind, coconut, etc tree. The novelty never wore off for my mom, who opportunistically asked any resort worker in sight if they'd give some to her; her bounty would eventually ripen and rot in our kitchen. The remnants of growing up food insecure, I guess.

-It was weird that we (me and my cousins) are the grownups now. And that they still continue the unhealthy tradition of warning the kids who played in the sun that they would get darker. I had to say multiple times, "It's okay. We're brown and it's okay." And it was another thing making sure to gently stop a relative when they inappropriately commented on any of our bodies ("you got bigger"...you mean after aging out of my teens and having a baby, I got bigger? No shit Sherlock). The unhealthy Filipino standards of beauty cycle stops here, y'all.

-My uncle's farm remains the worst smelling place on earth. Yes this is a very urban opinion.

-The spiders are still plate sized. How dare they not evolve into something smaller.

-Because my sister and I were sorta in charge this time, we opted to go to the touristy places one often sees in travel ads, instead of sticking to our hometown. Batangas was beautiful! There were monkeys on the roof of our cabin! And a hidden cove! I've never seen so many stars! I even saw a shooting one!

-Villa Escudero was enjoyable, not just for the waterfall restaurant, but also for the cultural show. My kid, when faced with the choice of swimming or watching the history of the Phils illustrated through singing, music, and dances, surprisingly chose the latter.

-The most important thing was my kid making fond memories of the Phils. Her western upbringing means that she'll get a good impression of the American-European half of her heritage without any effort from us. Now, instead of a random bunch of islands on a map, she'll think of the Philippines as the place with her best friends, daily pandesal breakfasts, fun tricycle rides, endless neighborhood chickens, etc, etc. That makes it worth it, I guess, even if the horrors of this trip ended up making my hair fall out later, lol.

[clarkresse]

Week 027

I've been seeing a lot of posts about mental health in my timeline on Twitter (it's Twitter and will always refer to it as that) after Liza Soberano's statements on mental health in the Philippines. Many agreed with her statements and called her brave for it. Then there were the others that demonized her because 'she's making Filipinoes look bad'.

Well, this is what I think ... SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ACCEPT THE TRUTH ABOUT OUR CULTURE'S FLAWS.

Why must we always present as this undaunted sort of people and just accept what we were dealt with without taking the time to actually take it in? 'Don't complain about what you were given.' 'Just be thankful.' 'After what's been done for you you still have the nerve?' I've heard that in many moments of my life---seen it on faces and felt it from people's actions--- and I've done and lived my life to please people I owe. I was a happy child because they wanted me to be that. I should always be happy child.

Then, I was overwhelmed.

By doing what was asked of me because I owed people my life and I should live my life for them, I ruined the chances that were given to me because they were not what I wanted. Even when it was what I wanted, I missed it because I was thinking of the people I owed my life to. So, yeah I ruined my life by living up to expectations.

I accepted that I needed help.

I attended therapy. Took medicine for it. I was open with my depression and separated myself from people to rewire my brain. I need to get me back and erase traces of others and what they installed in my head.

I didn't stay the happy child I was and became the depressed adult that bloomed from the happy child trying to please everyone. That's when I noticed a lot ---and really many people in my life--- just faded. They were still there, they just didn't want to recognize the honesty I was showing.

Some friends tried to stay but then they stopped making the effort to stay with me. Family hurt me the most.

They were hurt because of me separating myself from them. Not because I blamed them. I never did because it was my choice to make them happy. I just didn't want to interact with them because I was ashamed that I couldn't continue to make them happy.

They stood on this ground that it was my fault and that I hurt them. If I did in some way then maybe it is my fault but there really was nothing in my actions that should have hurt them. I isolated myself for myself.

I regained a piece of myself from isolation. Still trying to piece pieces of myself even after all these years.

I've lost them. However, as painful as being abandoned by people who knew me the longest to most of my life, I found the gems of living.

The people who saw happy me still loved depressed me. They never expected me to always be the sunshine in their lives. They were okay if I was the storm. They accepted the dark clouds. They held umbrellas over my head and lit fire to keep me warm. They kept their hands on my heart and made sure that it would keep beating. They love me without expectation and I understood my existence from them.

I'm living my life for those people. Not because I owe it to them or because they want me to. I want to live because of them. Because of them I got excited over things again. I want to share things with them. I think of things I want to do with them. I want to accept my existence and be happy with it. Living for the spontaneity of every day and the expectations of what I set.

I could take my time on living and they will be there to take or wait at my slow pace. Actually, we're taking each other's slow and fast paces. We just defined a different kind of time is relative.

Anyway, watch Lisa Frankenstein and accept the flaws of your own culture. It's okay not to be proud of it. We can be ashamed of our history and still love the country we grew up in. There is nothing wrong with patriotism. Let's just not delude ourselves into thinking the system is perfect.

[jannyincanada]

How the 5 mins change my life

Growing up, I wasnt keen on working overseas. I am a born Filipino and I believe that we should just be staying with our roots. But the years passed, I would see my parents leave the Philippines, my relatives to work in a foreign country and that scared me. I told myself I would stay home, make a career that would fulfill my dreams and life would be easy. But you see, life proved me wrong. I grew up with the knowledge I was not born with a golden spoon. I have learned the struggles of the middle working class families in the Philippines. There’s no way out but to take a leap of faith. Although that thought was there I was determined to stay. Why should I leave my comfort zone? I am already contented with my life. I finish college with the only thought of why do I only get a small amount of allowance. Other than that, I was happy, I was contented with what I got. Until I realized I couldn’t get a job with the degree I finished. Political Science was somehow irrelevant with the job on demand. Either you run for office or work for the government that’s just how you can use the degree that you worked hard for four years. And with the challenge to get a job without sucking up to the higher ranks or be in a Political dynasty. I was screwed. So the best step to do was go to the city, where jobs were offered. But the things, it was somehow unrelated to the one you want to pursue. I found myself working in a finance company. To think the only Political Science degree holder working with accounting and finance would be a confusing mix, however it turned out great.

So how did that five minutes changed my life? Let’s go back a little bit before I worked for a F&A company. After I finished my degree, my aunt who’s working in Canada told me that I need to study Caregiving because she’s planning to get me to work there. Of course I didn’t want to. As I said, I was already happy with what I have. But with a few more nudge, I gave in. To be honest, I wasn’t really happy. I detest medical things. I don’t like caring for other people. I was ashamed to tell even my friends that I was going through all this stuff. There’s a stigma in the Philippines that if you worked as a Nanny, you’re a maid. A low class family would only go for that. It’s the worst but it’s the truth. I don’t want anyone to know I was doing this because I’m already a degree holder. It was the pride talking. Still I went with it to please my family. When I was done with the course, I got to work in the city because I was in the impression that I wouldn’t make it. I was literally doing a bad job so I don’t need to leave. But as weeks passed, I felt alive. It was my first time leaving the town I grew up in. I could feel that i’m stepping out of my comfort zone. I could do whatever I want since i’m already earning money. It was surreal. I have never felt more alive.

Since I was a fresh graduate, I saw some of my batch mates taking the PhilSat ( an entrance exam for law school). Since I was already in Manila. I decided to take the Philsat without anyone knowing I took it. I was just testing the waters, if I passed great. If I fail, still great since no one will know. After 6 weeks, I was so surprised, I passed. Still, I didn’t tell anyone, not even my boyfriend. I wanted to try to apply for law school. That was really my dream. So I took an entrance exam at San Beda And UST. They were my dream Universities. And there was no disappointments again if ever I fail. It was just a maybe. So after taking it, I went back to my usual routines, forgetting that I took them. By that time, I was already fixing my papers going to Canada. So I was really distracted. On March 4, 2018, I was on my way to our locker room at work to stow away my stuff when suddenly my phone pop a notification. It was one of the emails I was really scared to check. I was already set to go to Canada and my aunt was always telling me to not get my hopes up especially since it was gonna be a long shot. I opened my email and lo and behold, my working visa arrived. My heart was racing, I was literally numb that time. Was it time to send my resignation I was so lost and confused, happy at the same time too when suddenly my phone rang. It was an unknown number and when I answered it, It was from San Beda Law office. I am being scheduled for an interview since I passed the entrance exam. I was so shocked I complete forgot about the exam I took. And now it got me confused. I was crying and don’t know what to do. It was a spun of exactly five minutes when a decision was needed to be decided. Canada or Law school.

And now I am currently writing this, tolerating -40. Well we know how it end up. If Law school hadn’t waited for 5 minutes, I wouldn’t have realized the change I needed to have. It was those 5 minutes that made me thinking, I am destined to be right where I am now.

[daisynik7]

PLEASE BY ALL MEANS PROPOSE, I AM SO READY 👰🏻‍♀️ *ahem* i mean *cooly leans against the wall with a rose between my teef* hey cutie ;)

wait no, i can’t i’m a poser:( it’s pathetic. i’m kicking my feet, blushing so much rn, the dumbest giggles, this is crazy 🥲 thank you for YOUR kind words, having your support means the world to me and i hope you to be the same for you <3

but it truly is so beautiful, i’ve recently started to love seeing peoples different mediums of expression, whether it’s fanart, series/ film edits, and pics of course!!! i hope that this is something that continues to garner joy for you as a hobby, i surely love it, and i’m glad others love it. you articulate that creativity beautifully and i hope looking back at this page, you’re proud of what you made. 🥹 anime is relatively new for me too, and i feel like i’ve learnt more and appreciated the characters though fics than i do from watching the actual show @gege you are no longer the artist for jujutsu kaisen after what you’ve done, enjoy retirement bb 🥰 

and yes PLEASE let me talk about strawberry soju for a sec, first of all you said you based this off a song, i’m only finding results for one song by jesse barrera. A VIBE, we love that. second off, i just need to get it off my chest, i love foodie sasha! third, personally i know you for nanami wips n fics, but what you write for other characters, ART🤌🏼fourth, anything you write i will eat up. shamelessly. just know that :) also yes, kbbq was a special occasion meal for us so yes i get giddy over any reference of korean cuisine!

lastly, i’m so happy to hear that you were able to get out of the house and spend time with those core people, i’d like to take this moment to invite them to our wedding 🫶🏼

i’m not ready for the finale, i’m still not over the fact that they glazed over bertholdt’s death and reiner’s (lack of) reaction, like what? i’m also still considering do i need to continue jjk? probably not, i was just joking about actually being a masochist.🫣 

nonetheless; love you my sweet daisy, have a wonderful day/night! 🤍

don't worry, I'm already planning our wedding, honeymoon, and early retirement ;) we're going to be so happy together!! 😭♥️

I will be your biggest cheerleader, I promise you! I love seeing how people express themselves through art. I've always been an avid consumer of fan works (fanart, fan fiction, etc.). I agree that these fics have expanded on the characters much much more than what we're actually given LOL. As much as I appreciate the universe gege has created, these fics feed into my obsession even more and I'll always be grateful to every single writer/artist out there that is contributing to this fandom (and all fandoms in general).

hearing your thoughts on strawberry soju makes me so so happy!! thank you again for reading it ♥️ foodie Sasha is canon, I always imagine here with a hot potato in her pocket for snacking LOL. I have written a lot of Nanami content, but Eren also holds a special place in my heart.

also, we're going to have such bomb ass food at our wedding - filipino and korean cuisine, can it get any better than this?!

ahhhh okay I won't say anything to not spoil you, but I definitely have lots and lots of thoughts about it. can't wait to hear what you think. AND I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS (regarding continuing jjk). Not sure why I'm putting myself through this pain and misery anymore! it's too much!! but the story and characters are so captivating, idk if I can really drop it completely. we shall see...

I LOVE YOU THEA!! hope you're having a great start to your week so far! 💗💗💗