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everybodyscupoftea · 4 years ago

Text

you are the music in me

rafe x reader

five times rafe shows you a song, and one time you show him

holy cow who let me do this:

okay huge thanks to @travisgermy who stayed up forever with me picking out songs one night, the list of “maybe this” or “idk does this fit the vibe” is insanely long but i think i got it right.

i’m very very proud of my playlists and my taste in music. music is also very important to me, so i decided to write this because if a man ever came to me and said “this song made me think of you,” i might marry him on the spot

finally, thanks to my two very good friends for encouraging me and reading it over @sunnypogue and @moldisgoodforyou you guys are the best

little warning: there’s some cursing

(also i tried to link the songs to the titles so you can click and listen while reading that part)

You met Rafe freshman year in an auditorium size Intro to Theater elective. He was giving off huge ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibes and sitting alone in the top left corner of the room, pretty far away from everyone else. Not only was the lack of people appealing, but the rumpled boy with headphones in, chugging coffee, was cute.

Orientation was scheduled late for you, and theater was the elective you opted to take when all the music classes were filled. Unfortunately, scheduling last meant most of the seats were full anyway, and you had no choice but take it at 8 a.m.

It was easy at first, barely any work involved and minimal notes. You basically just had to show up and fill a seat for attendance. And then the ‘acting’ unit started and your professor, who had been your favorite until then, threw a partner project and suddenly the ‘not talk to anyone’ strategy you’d been employing backfired.

Holding in a groan, you looked over the lines of dialogue he’d given out with the instructions, “Make it your own.” People all around you were moving and chatting with the people they’d talked to in class already and you felt frozen. Until headphone boy suddenly sat down next to you.

“Wanna partner up?” he asked after a long sip of coffee.

“Oh, um, yeah, that’d be great.”

Thus, the shaky alliance formed. He was a little closed off at first, but you managed to get to know him a little more, and by the end of the semester, you’d even call the two of you friends. It was really solidified when he texted you first a few times over winter break.

Rafe was really easy to talk to, he had his own amount of trauma that he didn’t really talk much about unless it related to an issue you were going through and he felt his experience could relate to yours and comfort you. It was really nice, having a support system away from home in this new college town where you didn’t know anyone.

Study sessions together turned to lunches together turned to dinners together. He became your permanent bar buddy and you always felt safe with his steady presence nearby. You’d never really known anyone quite like him and it was exhilarating being with him all the time.

Where Rafe really excelled was music. He constantly had headphones in when walking around campus, when the two of you studied, and when you went to the gym together. It didn’t bother you, it wasn’t rude, he just liked it and he knew so much about artists and bands you’d never heard of. It was how he best communicated.

One: Let Me Down Slowly

Fall of sophomore year, you started seeing a guy in your literature class. It wasn’t like a super romantic thing, it started with just sleeping together after a football game to occasional dinners when you weren’t with Rafe.

His name was Brian and Rafe hated him. Casual sex was hard for you, separating feelings and intimacy wasn’t your style, but for Brian you tried really hard. It failed, just like Rafe warned you it would, but you vowed to keep faking it anyway.

Eventually, Brian, during dinner, asked if you had been seeing anyone else. You hadn’t, of course, and told him so. He seemed pleased and you thought that meant he wasn’t either. Where you went wrong was not actually getting clarification on that point.

He invited you to a party one Friday night, and you decided to go. Rafe was in your dorm room, watching you get dressed, as you chattered on about finally being official with Brian and this being the two of you’s big moment as a couple finally.

Rafe sat cross-legged on your bed, barely concealing his contempt toward Brian, but you ignored it, pushing through. Once you deemed yourself ready, you turned to Rafe, holding out your necklace to him, “Can you help me put this on?”

He sighed and hopped off your bed. Taking the necklace from your hand, he gently turned you around and stepped closer, brushing all your hair to one side. The metal was cold when it hit your collarbone and you shivered a little.

Rafe’s fingers danced over your neck as he fastened the chain and fixed your hair back. Putting both hands on your shoulders, he squeezed a little and smiled at you in the mirror, “Knock ‘em dead, gorgeous.”

Before you could respond, Brian texted you that he was parked outside, waiting for you. With a nervous exhale, you held your fist out for Rafe to bump, “Thanks for keeping me company, Cameron.”

He smiled and gently bumped your knuckles, “Anytime, bud.” You didn’t see his smile slip a little as you left the room.

Brian was blasting some club remix he frequently listened to when you got into this car. He smiled at you, leaning in for a kiss, “Ready, babe?”

“Ready,” you told him, buckling in.

The party wasn’t anything new or special, you’d been to many just like it, but it felt different. You weren’t sure what it was, maybe that you were finally officially on Brian’s arm, but the air felt odd.

Excusing yourself to go to the bathroom, you pulled out your phone to check and see if Rafe had texted you. He had, something short reassuring you that if you needed a ride home later, he’d be up. You breathed out a sigh of relief because Brian had started drinking the moment the two of you stepped in the door and you weren’t sure how he planned on getting you home.

Leaning forward and bracing yourself on the counter, you stared at yourself in the mirror. With an annoyed sigh, you hissed, “Get it together, bitch. This is supposed to be your night.”

And with that, you left the bathroom. Only to find Brian making out with some girl you’d never seen before on the couch. Which really fucking hurt. You didn’t even really know what to do, you’d only been dating for a few weeks, but you’d been emotionally connected to him for much longer.

Tears you didn’t want rose in your eyes as you stared frozen at the two of them groping each other. One of Brian’s friends that you’d met a few times caught your eye. His widened and he shook Brian’s shoulder. Brian, hazy eyed, pulled away and saw you standing there, clearly hurt.

He jumped up, fear in his eyes, and you backed away, shaking your head. You weren’t sure if he chased you, you hightailed it out of the house and down the street, wanting nothing more than to get out of there. Pity was the last thing you wanted from him or his asshole friends who did nothing to stop him.

By the time you’d gotten far enough away that you didn’t hear the music anymore, the cold had set in and you were shivering. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you sniffled several times, trying to get it together. Unfortunately, your tears refused to listen and streamed down your cheeks, not slowing in the slightest.

Suddenly, your phone vibrated, a text from Rafe telling you he’d made it to season four of the show you recommended him and that season three’s finale had been heartbreaking.

How could you not give me even a little heads up, what the fuck

You choked out a laugh through the tears and hit call before thinking about how he’d definitely be able to tell something was up from your voice.

“Hey,” he answered, sounding a little concerned, “you still at the party?”

“Um, not really,” you said, trying to not give away your crying.

It didn’t work, you heard rustling in the background as he asked, “Where are you? Better yet, where’s Brian?”

You sighed, “Probably fucking whatever chick I caught him making out with.”

Rafe cursed lowly before saying, “Send me your location and I’ll come pick you up.”

Hanging up, you sent it to him and sat down on the sidewalk, pulling your knees to your chest. You kind of didn’t want to see Rafe because you didn’t really want the ‘I told you so’ likely to come as soon as you got in the car.

He pulled up, not too long after your tears stopped, and you hopped up to get into the passenger side. You weren’t expecting him to throw it in park and jog around to wrap you into a tight hug before you could get in. It took you by surprise, but it wasn’t unwelcome. After getting over your shock, you squeezed him back tightly, cherishing the unusual show of affection.

It brought the tears back and you sniffled a few times, burying your face into his chest. Rafe held you tightly until you got ahold of yourself again and then pulled the door open to help you into his truck. While it wasn’t unusual for him to do, you couldn’t help but notice for the first time, that it was something Brian never did.

Before you could buckle up, he grabbed one of his sweatshirts off the backseat and handed it to you.

“How are you feeling right now, bud? Do you want to wallow for a bit or do you want to say ‘fuck him’ and move on?”

You sighed, “I don’t know, kinda in the mood to wallow right now.”

Rafe cranked up the heat and nodded before pulling up his Spotify to pick something out. A familiar sounding song started playing and he looked over at you, “This song really encompasses the lonely feeling of wanting someone, great for wallowing.”

You sniffled a few times and turned the volume up before sinking back into the seat. He smiled at you gently and started driving down the street. The words started up and you couldn’t stop the tears anymore.

Don’t cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste

Rafe tapped his thumb against the steering wheel to the song as he drove. You quickly recognized his route to the coffee shop the two of you go to. Wiping your nose on the hoodie sleeve, you finally spoke up, “It’s closed.”

“Huh?” he asked, glancing over at you quickly before focusing on the road again.

“Coco Bean, it’s closed.”

“I’m just driving, no destination.”

“Oh,” you said, tuning into the song again.

Could you find a way to let me down slowly / a little sympathy, I hope you can show me / if you wanna go then I’ll be so lonely / if you’re leaving baby let me down slowly

With a long, shuddering sigh, you melted back into the seat and let Rafe drive. You were a little startled when he started to sing softly. He’d hummed in front of you but never sang, and he actually had a pretty good voice.

And I can’t stop myself from falling down

Twisting your fingers through the hem of the sweatshirt, you tilted your head to lean against the cold window as the song started its last bit.

Now I’m slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace / so please, please / could you find a way to let me down slowly

Rafe switched to something slightly more upbeat as you tried to pull yourself together. The two of you drove around for hours, songs switching from upbeat to sad, enough to keep you interested.

“One last song,” he told you, around 3 a.m. and All I Want started up. Rafe had showed you that one before. He reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing tightly for a few seconds before adding, “Brian’s a dick and you deserve better.”

You squeezed back and nodded, not really knowing what to say.

Two: I’m Good

You’d stubbornly avoided Rate My Professor when trying to schedule a bio class, which was turning out to be a pretty hefty mistake. The guy you picked, mostly because of the 10 a.m. time slot, was a disaster. His teaching style didn’t match your learning style and he barely taught the information he used on the test anyway.

Needless to say, you bombed the first one. Like not a dramatic, ‘I bombed it’ and it turning out to be a C. Like a serious 40%. You weren’t sure how you made it through the rest of your classes, maybe adrenaline or just the pure stubbornness to not have a very public breakdown, but you sent Rafe a very vague text blowing off lunch and went straight to your room.

Face planting onto your bed, you shut your phone off, totally content to not talk to anyone for at least another day. Hours could’ve passed before you finally rolled onto your side, you weren’t sure what time in was, all you knew was that your stomach was growling.

At some point during your wallowing, you roommate had come home, and it had gotten dark outside. All of your weekend plans flew straight out the window and the idea of doing any work when clearly it would be pointless anyway was nauseating.

Eventually, you fell into a restless sleep, dreaming about failing classes and angry bio teachers trying to break your fingers until you finally understood cellular respiration. It was easily one of the worst nights you’d ever had, and by the time the sun rose, you were ready to just stop thinking.

You knew your roommate would eventually come into your room to ask about getting brunch, or to just see what you had planned for the day, but you really didn’t want to see her. What you didn’t expect when your door was finally pushed open, was to see Rafe standing there, holding a bag of food.

“Hey, bud,” he spoke softly, walking slowly toward your bed, “you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” you asked, voice cracking.

Rafe laughed, “No, you don’t. But I did bring your favorite.”

You perked up a little, looking at the bag curiously, “Chicken caesar wrap?”

“Yes ma’am. Would you like to join me on a walk?”

You sighed, but getting out of the room with Rafe sounded kind of good, so you stood and put on a pair of slides, not wanting to put in the effort of actual shoes. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders while the two of you walked down the hallway, and you cherished the closeness.

“What happened?” he finally asked, as the two of you made it out the building and over to a bench outside.

“I failed my test. I don’t know what happened, none of the material he taught was on the test and I just don’t know how to study for that.”

Rafe handed you half of the wrap and let you rest your head on his shoulder before speaking, “Did you check Quizlet, maybe someone who’s already taken it posted something for you to use.”

You shrugged while taking a bite, “Maybe. I mean I know I can come back from this, he drops the lowest test, but I don’t know, I’ve never gotten a grade that bad. It’s so discouraging and I just lost all motivation to do anything.”

He hummed softly and pulled his phone out. After scrolling for a few seconds, he offered you a headphone with a smile, “Maybe this will help.”

Trying to figure out who I am / or who I’m supposed to be / feel good about where I stand / so I can make the most of me

You drummed your fingers on Rafe’s knee to the uplifting beat. He bumped your shoulders together and started eating the other half of the wrap.

You only live once / I’m good with myself / I’m there for my friends / til the very end

Rafe reached out to lace his fingers through yours, catching your attention, before saying, “You know I’ve always got you right?”

You nodded, tears rising for the first time since the numbness gripped you, “Yeah, Cameron, I know.”

I’m good, I’m good, I’m good, I’m good / living life just like I should / wouldn’t change it if I could / I’m good, I’m good, I’m good

When the song ended, you lifted your head up and finished your half of the wrap. Rafe paused the next song playing and smiled down at you gently, “You are the smartest person I’ve ever met, if anyone can beat this asshole bio professor, it’s you.”

“I am pretty smart, huh?”

He didn’t answer, just laughed and leaned down to kiss you on the forehead. You didn’t know what you could do without him.

Three: Blood // Water

It got out of hand before you could stop it. You were tired all the time because of work and your roommate was stressed from school, and her new boyfriend was a huge slob. He used your utilities and ate your food and didn’t pay a lick of rent.

You’d been fuming about it for months, but it really came to head when you realized how often he was staying over and she wasn’t giving you a heads up. One afternoon, you were watching TV on the couch, a rare free afternoon that you wanted to spend in your underwear, no one was home anyway. So you thought.

Your roommate had class, but she’d let her boyfriend in and he’d been sitting in her room without you knowing. Just as you settled in, her door flew open and you shrieked, grabbing for the nearest blanket to cover yourself up with. He stared at you, mouth hanging open.

“Dude, stop fucking looking, what the fuck?!” you yelled, and he slapped a hand over his eyes. Taking the opportunity, you ran to your room and slammed the door shut. He had to go, the boyfriend either needed to stop living rent free or stay out of your personal space.

By the time your roommate made it home, you’d had time to get yourself really really worked up, and you were ready for a fucking fight. Rafe had called at some point and tried to calm you down, but talking it out with him only made you angrier, and he eventually gave up, telling you to not let her walk all over you.

She walked in and toward her room, but you stopped her right outside it by clearing your throat. Maybe, for a more constructive conversation, you could’ve started it better, but you went straight in with, “So do I need to buy Marcus a housewarming gift or is he going to live somewhere else anytime soon?”

She frowned at you, “What?”

“I’m not paying 50% of the rent if your boyfriend is gonna be here as much as I am. I’ll gladly play a third of the rent, but I’m gonna need him to contribute if he’s going to use my hot water and eat my food.”

Your roommate took a defensive stance, “He’s not here that much.”

“Oh yeah? Well then why did I go to wash my work uniform, only to find his shit in the washing machine?”

“That was a one-time thing, he stayed over a few nights and ran out of clothes.”

Fists tightening, you drew yourself up, “Okay, tell me, when’s the last time he went home?”

She paused to think and you nodded, emphasizing your point. Before either of you could say anything else, there was a knock at your door. Your roommate opened it and saw Rafe standing outside. With a huff, she turned back to you, “Well while we’re at it, talking about boys being over all the time, what about Rafe?”

Your jaw dropped, “Rafe isn’t eating your food and showering at 3 a.m. and WALKING OUT WHILE YOU’RE SITTING IN YOUR UNDERWEAR.”

Rafe’s eyes widened, he’d never heard you yell like that before, it was rattling. Your roommate had, but never at her, and she looked taken aback before narrowing her eyes, “Why the fuck were you just sitting in your underwear?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I not allowed to do that in the comfort of my own home?”

“Not when Marcus is around.”

You threw your hands up, “That’s the fucking point! I never know when he’s around or isn’t because you don’t have the courtesy to give me the heads up!”

She stepped closer to you as if to shove you, but Rafe stepped between the two of you, putting both of his hands on your shoulders, “Hey, bud, hey, look at me, okay?”

You fought against him, trying to get another look at your roommate, “Never compare that asshole to Rafe, at least Rafe can hold a fucking conversation. You’re dating a piece of wet cardboard.”

“Babe,” Rafe warned you.

“Babe,” she mimicked in a high-pitched voice, “you do everything he tells you to, doormat?”

Rafe’s hands tensed on your shoulders and he narrowed his eyes, “Marcus, better get your ass out here and help me. You’re the root of the whole fucking problem.”

Her bedroom door opened slowly and a very sheepish looking Marcus stood there with a pair of her shoes in hand, “Let’s go for a drive, huh?”

Rafe kept you in place until the other two had left and you sagged into his hold. You couldn’t stop the tears that started falling as soon as the door slammed shut, and Rafe pulled you into a hug. He stroked your hair, “You’re just tired, babe, it’s going to be okay.”

You sniffled pathetically, “Why won’t she just be fucking accommodating.”

He pulled you behind him to your room and shut the door behind you. It was nighttime, and the room went dark immediately, until Rafe turned on the fairy lights you had hanging around your bed. He sat down and patted the empty spot next to him, “You remember when you called me to come hang these damn lights up?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped, “Yeah, you hated me for it.”

“I didn’t hate you, but I wasn’t thrilled.”

Leaning into his side, you sighed, “Did I just fuck things up?”

Rafe wrapped his arms around you and laid down, arranging the two of you on the bed so that you were partially on top of him before he spoke, “I don’t think so. Y’all have been friends for so long, I’m sure she’ll come around.”

You played with his shirtsleeve for a few seconds before looking up at his face. He was already looking down at you, soft smile on his lips, and you stuck your tongue out playfully at him. Rafe laughed and lifted his hips up to fish his phone out of his pocket.

“Oh, you got a song for me?” you asked, leaning further onto him.

“Maybe. You want some angry vibes?”

“Hmmm, I think so, yeah.”

He picked a song after a few seconds and laid back fully, shutting his eyes while you started to hum along. It was catchy.

Look me in my eyes / tell me everything’s not fine / or the people ain’t happy / and the river has run dry

Rafe smiled with his eyes closed as you climbed off the bed to start jumping around. All your angry energy started to drain as you read from the lyrics on your phone.

The price of your greed / is your son and your daughter / what you gon’ do / when there’s blood in the water

You grabbed his arm, trying to pull him up to jump around with you, but you weren’t nearly strong enough. Rafe laughed at you, eyes finally open again, until you huffed and tossed his arm back. He stayed down watching you as the song built.

I am the people / I am the storm / I am the riot / I am the swarm / when the last’s tree’s fallen / the animal can’t hide / money won’t solve it / what’s your alibi

It was probably for the best your roommate had left because if she was still there, she’d be furious with your screaming. By the time the song ended, you were breathing heavily and Rafe was laughing. Collapsing on top of him, you tried to catch your breath.

Rafe brushed an errant strand of hair out of your face, “That was beautiful, sweetheart.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled, “Felt good, thanks for the assist, Cameron.”

The smile slowly fell from his lips as he kept staring at you, and you were confused. Before you could ask what was wrong, he shut his eyes and leaned up to kiss you.

It wasn’t totally unexpected. You’d thought about it a few times, and you were pretty sure he had too, but he’d never said anything, so you figured it was out of the question. So, while you weren’t prepared, you were happily surprised.

After a few seconds to work through the shock, you started kissing him back. He kept it short, you figured he would with emotions running as high as they were in you.

“Anytime,” he told you, brushing your lips with his thumb.

Four: Let You Down

Your boss informed you that there was nothing that could be done. That the department was going through budget cuts and they’d be laying people off. Unfortunately, since you were the youngest, you were the first to go.

The early shift was your normal gig, you always woke up around 5 a.m. to get ready and get coffee, and that morning, you woke up to a missed call and a message from your boss. Rafe was still sleeping, so you unplugged your phone and took it with you to the kitchen to listen to the message while you made coffee.

After turning the kettle on, you brought the phone to your ear, and immediately regretted it. You missed the first part of the message, but got the gist from, “So sorry to have to let you go, with the cuts in our department, we have to make hard decisions- “

And you didn’t really care to hear the rest. Three years of your life wasted on that place that promised you a job post-grad, and then just cut the rope. Your hands were shaking and you shut the kettle off, deciding to just go back to bed and cuddle with Rafe until his alarm went off.

Unfortunately, Rafe was a light sleeper and woke up when you tried to get back into your spot next to him.

“Babe, wha?” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

“Nothing,” you whispered, “go back to sleep.”

Rafe squinted at you, “Don’t you have work?”

You sighed, “Not anymore, I got let go.”

He sat up and you groaned, not really wanting to hash it out with him at 5:30 in the morning. Fumbling to switch the lamp on, Rafe pulled you into a hug with his other arm and you couldn’t stop yourself from sinking into his arms.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I know you liked that job.”

“They told me like two fucking weeks ago they were looking at a managerial position for me. I just, I don’t know why I was on the first list of cuts.”

Rafe huffed out a laugh, “I wish I could tell you, but unfortunately, I can’t get into the mindset of actual buffoons.”

Your lips quirked up, “They are buffoons, aren’t they?”

The two of you sat in the middle of the bed for who knows how long, just hanging onto each other, and you were almost back asleep when Rafe moved again, this time to stand up. You glared at him, “Can’t we sleep?”

“We can nap later, but I want to see the sunrise.”

He grabbed his keys from the desk by the door and you followed him out to the kitchen. There was a place the two of you had gone before, near the reservoir, for sunsets, but you’d never done a sunrise before. You started the coffee making process again and pulled on one of his sweatshirts while he leaned against the wall, looking up what time the sun rose.

“It says 6:40 so we have plenty of time to get there.”

“Car sex,” you offered jokingly.

“Make the coffee, babe,” he dismissed, pulling you in to ruffle your hair.

You shoved him away, pouting, “I can’t make the coffee when you’re manhandling me.”

He didn’t let you push him far, grabbing onto your hand where it was pushing his chest and pulled you back to him. The smell of coffee filled the kitchen as he hugged you. Your face was buried in his chest and the two of you just breathed together until he pulled back enough to catch your lips with his.

You pushed up on your toes, leaning further into him. He loosened his grip on your hands and you slid them up to cup his jaw. It was quiet in the kitchen, the only sound coming from the coffee maker and the slight hum of the air conditioner. You basked in it.

Rafe suddenly dropped both of his arms to your legs and lifted you to sit on the counter. The sudden movement startled you into letting out a little squeal of surprise, but he swallowed it up with another kiss.

You draped your arms over his shoulders and he leaned all of his weight on the counter. In the background, you barely heard the coffee kick off and your roommate moving around in her room. Rafe brought a hand up to stroke up and down your thigh, fully distracting you again.

The two of you only broke apart when Rafe’s alarm started going off. He pulled away, annoyed, and then cursed when he realized what time it was. Helping you down, he told you, “We’ve got 30 minutes to get to the res.”

After quickly fixing two to-go mugs, you let Rafe pull you out of the apartment to his truck. For once, he didn’t pick any music, just let the radio play softly in the background while the two of you sipped on coffee. You rolled the window down and let one arm hang out the side.

Rafe reached over and grabbed your other hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss softly without looking up from the road. You grinned at him, “You’re soft as fuck, Cameron.”

He laughed, “Only for you, sweetheart.”

The sky started to lighten as the two of you drove and you left turned your focus back out the window. By the time Rafe parked, the sun had started to rise, and Rafe finally plugged his phone in to play a song.

“Something soft?” he asked.

You nodded and queued up something before hopping out. Rafe grabbed a blanket from the backseat and pulled the tailgate down. It was the blanket the two of you normally sat on to watch the sunsets, so you assumed Rafe wanted to sit back there together for it.

Grabbing the coffees, you walked around the truck to join him just as the song started playing through the speakers.

Feels like we’re on the edge right now / I wish that I could say I’m proud / I’m sorry that I let you down / let you down

You climbed up with him and settled in, your back against his chest. Rafe rested his chin on your head and you shut your eyes for a few seconds to let it all soak in.

I feel like every time I talk to you, you’re in an awful mood / what else can I offer you / there’s nothing left right now, I gave it all to you

“What am I going to do?” you whispered to Rafe.

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” he told you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

All these voices in my head get loud / and I wish that I could shut them out / I’m sorry that I let you down

“But we’ll figure it out,” he told you, sounding totally sure.

The sun slowly crept up as the two of you sat in silence, both hoping that things were going to turn out okay.

Five: You Make My Dreams (Come True)

“I hate men,” you said from your spot laying on the floor, “why are they the worst.”

Rafe laughed, nudging your hip with his foot, “Come on, sweetheart, I think some Waffle House will cheer you up, huh?”

“Nothing can cheer me up right now. Maybe alcohol.”

“You can’t get drunk.”

“Why not?” you demanded, a little childishly.

“Because you have an interview tomorrow, and it’s just a game.”

You were offended, staring at him open-mouthed, “I know you didn’t just tell me that the Leafs getting eliminated from the playoffs is just a game.”

Rafe didn’t respond, just kept looking at you, hand held out to help you up from the floor. You huffed and stubbornly stayed down, “No, I will throw myself off a balcony before going with you for that disrespect.”

With a sigh, Rafe bent down and pulled you up, you fighting him the entire way. He shook you gently, “Knock it off, mamas.”

“No, you can’t tell me what to do.”

“I can carry you, and I will, so you may as well just walk.”

Which was a good point. You crossed your arms and tilted your chin up, “Fine, Waffle House it is.”

“Fine,” he agreed, following you out of the apartment. Rafe tried to start conversation a few times during the walk to the Waffle House down the street, but you weren’t having it. After blatantly ignoring his attempts, he finally gave up.

“Rafe,” you asked, after a few seconds.

“What?”

“Can you play Hall and Oates? I think it might be good for me to hear.”

He raised his eyebrows, “Are you going to have a breakdown on the side of the road if I play it?”

“No,” which was a total lie and both of you knew it, but Rafe, being the accommodating boyfriend that he is, played it.

What I want, you’ve / And it might be hard to handle

And your eyes immediately filled with tears, just like both of you knew would happen. Rafe wrapped you into a hug while you cried, still playing the song so you could let it out.

Oh yeah, well well you / you make my dreams come true

Sniffling, you told him, “I thought it was their year.”

“I know, baby,” he soothed, hand running up and down your back.

“I want them to succeed and be happy.”

Again, he said, “I know.”

“It’s mostly the refs’ faults anyway, you know the league is dedicated to sucking Bruin dick.”

Rafe snorted, “I do know, yes.”

Softly and sadly, you sang along, “You make my dreams come true.”

The song finished and Rafe tucked his phone away, giving you one last squeeze before pulling away. You sighed and the two of you resumed walking toward Waffle House. He told you, “My dad is a big Bruins guy.”

“WHAT?!”

+ One: Outnumbered

Throughout your relationship, Rafe was always the more put-together one. He always had his shit together while you tended to be a little louder and messier. While you had some experience with handling him in this state, it wasn’t much.

You figured something must’ve been wrong when he didn’t answer any of your texts, but you weren’t sure what. He’d flown home for Thanksgiving, he normally didn’t because it was only a few days, but his sister was going to be in town and he hadn’t seen her in a while. You were invited, but your parents wanted to visit you for the day, so you stayed behind.

When your parents left, you stayed in and watched football, not really wanting to do anything except talk to Rafe who promised to watch one of the games with you over FaceTime. Unfortunately, it was halftime and you hadn’t heard from him.

In fact, you didn’t hear from him until that night. You were getting ready for bed when your phone finally vibrated and you answered it, mid washing your face.

“Hey, bubba.”

“Hey, babe.”

“Get caught up today?” you asked, rinsing the cleanser off.

He laughed humorlessly, and you felt something in your stomach, “I did, my dad had some thoughts he wanted to share with me.”

“Bruins fan dad?”

“The very same.”

You grinned, “Well I’m sure they weren’t valid then.”

Rafe paused for a few seconds, “Well, maybe they were a little valid.”

“Tell me what he said, and I’ll let you know for sure.”

It was silent, you could barely hear Rafe’s breathing, before he continued, “Just that I’m wasting my time. And I’m gonna come running back to him when I can’t get a job with this pointless degree.”

Which, where the fuck do you even start with that. Then, you remembered, scrambling up, you told Rafe to hold on while you grabbed your laptop and pulled up Spotify. You’d found a song and been saving it to show him, but there was no time like the present.

“Listen to this song I found.”

He hummed in agreement as it started up.

Don’t tell me this is all for nothin’ / I can only tell you one thing / on the nights you feel outnumbered / baby I’ll be out there somewhere

You felt unsure as the song went on and he didn’t react. The song played on, you tapping your fingers against your knees anxiously. Normally you could tell what Rafe was thinking based on his facial expression, and you wish you’d switched to FaceTime before starting the song.

There’ll be days when it’s difficult / but I ask you never leave behind the reciprocal / we’re past that / love is not designed for the cynical / so we have that

Rafe didn’t speak again until the end and it sounded a little choked up, “You found that one for me, huh?”

Slamming your laptop shut, you hit the FaceTime button and waited to respond until you saw his face. Rafe’s eyes were red and his cheeks looked wet and you just wanted to hug him.

“Yeah, that was for you.”

“I love you, you know?” he asked, “probably should’ve waited to tell you in person, but.”

You laughed, “Probably so, but I love you too, Cameron.”

“I’m coming home tomorrow instead of Sunday, come over?”

Settling into your bed, you smiled at him, “Yeah, just let me know.”

His soft smile was burned into your memory that night as you fell asleep restlessly, ready for him to be home with you again.

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe outer banks #rafe obx #rafe fic #outer banks fic #outer banks #obx #college rafe

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nitrateglow · 5 years ago

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My god-tier Audrey Hepburn movies

I just realized I’ve technically seen all of Audrey Hepburn’s movies-- or rather, all the movies in which she was given star billing.

So, because I’m bored, here’s a list of my top ten personal favorites of her films. The criteria is simple: 1) she had to have starred in it, so nothing from her pre-Roman Holiday career counts nor does 1989′s Always, and 2) this is based on my level of enjoyment of the movie in question.

1. Wait Until Dark

Wait Until Dark possesses many merits, but Hepburn is one of its key strengths. For me, the most interesting performances are the ones able to balance seemingly opposing elements of the character in question. Here, Hepburn balances vulnerability with inner strength, insecurity and terror with courage, angry frustration with budding confidence. She makes her character seem like such a real, vital presence, like someone you would know. Also, having someone as sweet as Hepburn as the target for the cruel mind games and brutal violence of the villains makes the horror all the more terrifying.

Beyond her performance, this movie feels like it was tailor-designed to appeal to me: an intelligent and formidable villain, the everyday setting juxtaposed with a menacing atmosphere, scary scenes that don’t rely on gore, eccentric criminals, dark humor, a tight script without an ounce of fat on it. But you’ve heard me go on, so I’ll leave it there.

2. Charade

Charade is a prime example of how to mix suspense and comedy. The mystery at the heart of the movie is very clever, with twists and turns every other moment, constantly keeping the audience on their toes. Best of all, the film holds up after repeat viewings because of the delicious chemistry between Hepburn and Cary Grant, and the witty screenplay, which has such an elegant and tight structure that I seethe with envy as a writer every time I revisit this glorious thriller.

As in Wait Until Dark, Hepburn is concerned for her life as she’s terrorized by criminals, only here, they’re mostly more humorous in nature, sometimes even lovable (except Scobie, he can just jump off a cliff). She mainly gets to exercise her comedic chops, throwing off quips, sarcastic lines, and screwball banter with wonderful finesse. It makes me sad she never made more films with Cary Grant-- the two have a spark that belies the large age gap between them.

3. Roman Holiday

The character-building, naturalistic performances, and humor make Roman Holiday one of the best examples of romantic comedy. The film has both a gentle touch and a grounded maturity that make it more than just a remix of the earlier and quite similar screwball comedy It Happened One Night. To get a bit literary and pretentious, it reminds me a bit of Romeo and Juliet-- not because of the romance, but in how the movie starts as a standard screwball comedy and ends on a lyrical, wistful note you might not have expected.

Even though this was her first lead role in a feature film, I think Hepburn’s performance as Ann remains one of her strongest. Ann feels regal and dignified while also possessing the naivete and restlessness of a teenager on the brink of adulthood. It’s as fabulous a star-establishing movie as anyone could want.

4. How to Steal a Million

How to Steal a Million is pure fun. Not a moment of this caper comedy is to be taken seriously (which makes it the perfect quarantine movie if you need something to de-stress with). I always regard this movie as Charade’s even frothier spiritual successor: both films are playful, stylish, funny, and packed with romantic banter, plot twists, and colorful 1960s fashions. The main difference is that in this one, there’s no mortal threat involved and the humor gets a little more risque though not crass.

Also, how nice is it for Hepburn to be paired with a leading man closer to her age? Peter O’Toole was only three years younger than Hepburn when this was filmed. The two of them have glorious, cute chemistry.

5. The Nun’s Story

I hate the question of “objective best” anything, but if you put a gun to my head, I would say The Nun’s Story is features Hepburn’s most impressive work as an actress. For those who accuse Hepburn of being too affected, of being a mere clothes’ horse, here she is bare-faced, dressed in a nun’s habit, and playing a very reserved character whose dilemmas are largely internal. She plays her character’s spiritual conflict with an understatement that could only be considered skillful.

The film itself will likely be seen as “too slow” by most and there are a few colonial elements towards the Congo section that date it, but the film’s strengths, both from Hepburn’s performance and the mature way it presents its individual versus the system story, give it classic status. Few movies regarding organized religion are this balanced and lacking in propaganda, either for or against it.

6. Breakfast at Tiffany’s

While still Hepburn’s most iconic role, Breakfast at Tiffany’s gets called “overrated” a lot these days and fans of the original Truman Capote novella routinely dog it for making heavy changes to the source material. There’s also the, you know, gross yellowface a la Mickey Rooney that deflates every scene in which he appears. However, is the move bad? NO. It juggles zany comedy, tender romance, and rather heavy drama too well for me to consign it to the “overrated” bin. Blake Edwards was a fine director and this movie is one of his best.

And Hepburn gives a damn good performance as Holly Golightly, even if she is not the character envisioned by Capote. This character could easily be unlikable if played the wrong way-- she’s a “phony,” rather pathetic, and self-loathing despite her wit and charm. But rather than coming off as an unbearable loser, Hepburn’s Holly is a realistic, relatable loser we all love in spite of her own delusions and lashing out. She might even hit too close to home (or maybe that’s just me).

7. Funny Face

Funny Face took a few viewings to grow on me. It was one of the first Hepburn movies I ever saw (that was back in high school) and I was initially excited because it was directed by Stanley Donen who co-directed Singin’ in the Rain with Gene Kelly, a long-time favorite of mine. I expected this movie to be just as sublime and was disappointed when it didn’t hit that high mark.

Rewatching it later, I now find it very charming. It’s incredibly upbeat and relaxing, the sort of old-school movie musical that doesn’t get made anymore. Hepburn’s singing is a bit rough in the bigger numbers, but she is very sweet, a damn good dancer, and quite attractive to the point where she just takes my breath away. Fred Astaire and Kay Thompson are also wonderful and get a lot of great moments that show off their talent.

8. My Fair Lady

When considering what would go on this list, I was honestly shocked to realize how much I like this movie. I’m in the camp that considers Hepburn miscast, I find George Cukor’s direction rather stiff, and I really don’t like how the ending is changed from the original play. In spite of all this, I still really enjoy this movie for the songs, costumes, and what remains of Shaw’s brilliant satire on class and gender relations. Those three hours go by and the movie never outstays its welcome.

While I think Hepburn wasn’t the number one best choice for the part (I don’t really buy her as a crass flower girl in the beginning), she isn’t a disaster by any means. She’s still charming and sympathetic, and once she makes her transformation, you have to wonder how Higgins held it together, she’s so gorgeous. And I love the relish with which she approaches the “Just you Wait” song or the way she delivers the “move your bloomin’ arse” line at the races.

9. Sabrina

I think producers figured because of the fairy tale appeal of Roman Holiday, Hepburn would be perfect for this modern take on Cinderella, set in 1950s New York. Just like in Roman Holiday, Hepburn gets to undergo dramatic character development and show her comedic skills. It’s a cute movie, with a very charming William Holden and gorgeous black-and-white cinematography. It’s also shockingly uncynical for a Billy Wilder project.

About the closest thing this movie has to a flaw is Humphrey Bogart as Linus, the guy who Sabrina chooses in the end. This is a role Cary Grant could have played in his sleep, but Bogart clearly is not enjoying himself in some scenes. However, he isn’t movie-breakingly bad by any means. His character is meant to be a hidden softie and far more dependable than his handsomer brother, so I can buy that Sabrina would warm to him in the end.

10. They All Laughed

People tend to argue what the last “worthwhile” Hepburn movie is. Most argue it’s 1976′s Robin and Marian, while I’ve seen some go as far back as How to Steal a Million in 1966. They All Laughed, a Peter Bogdonavich comedy from 1981, gets my vote. This is a love letter to screwball comedies much like Bogdonavich’s 1972 classic What’s Up Doc, only with a far more melancholy edge.

Hepburn does not become a major presence in the movie until nearly halfway through. However, she approaches her role with a mature dignity that makes me wish she’d done more work along this line towards the end of her career. Her character comes off as an older, sadder Princess Ann from Roman Holiday. This makes the movie sound morose, but it isn’t: it ends with life going on and the characters accepting that with grace.

#lists lists lists #charade #roman holiday #how to steal a million #the nun's story #breakfast at tiffany's #funny face #my fair lady #sabrina #they all laughed #audrey hepburn #thoughts #wait until dark #old hollywood #i'll probably make more lists like these with other actors i like #so expect a buster post guys

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intheclique · 5 years ago

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CLIQUE talks ‘Kane Hannay’

In the words of Kane Hannay,’

‘Let the fun commence…’

Respected DJ.

Well-oiled producer in music.

And all-round nice guy.

Kane Hannay is no stranger to music production and the scene in Newcastle.

From an un-decisive young career taking him to ventures in photography, and the arts.

Kane Hannay separates himself in knowing exactly what he wants to do.

From hosting RUDOSA apart of his co-created brand ‘Raw Material’ to producing music like, ‘Intermittent Signals’ & his remix of ‘Outlander’ : ‘The Vamp’ he most certainly is making a very mature and well signalled named for himself in not only the North East but throughout the Industry as a whole.

As we sit down on this not so sunny day.

What lies ahead for the future of Kane Hannay?

Let’s find out…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hey Kane

First off thanks for taking the time to talk to us this afternoon.

It’s awesome, no problem.

Bit miserable isn’t it?

Yeah, aye its been bleak like.

How’s your day been?

Aye it’s been alright, not too bad. Been at work since 9 so looking forward to making some tunes.

How you been handling lock-down?

It’s been alright.

I haven’t really been anywhere other than work.

Other than that, it’s just been pretty much finishing coursework. Now that that’s all done it leaves me time to produce as much music as I can over the summer holidays.

I’ve actually got a remix I’m working on at the moment for another upcoming artist, ‘Vollans.’

Lee (one half of Acid Enigma) messaged me about producing a track to feature in a various artist compilation for ‘ESCALATE’ so that should be sick! So just being a busy bee…

So, tell us how’d you get into music?

Well… I’ve been into it for years and especially when I was younger, I’m talking like even at nursery age.

I have always been into it for years and especially when I was younger, I’m talking as young as nursery / reception age.

I have always been into music, might not be the same as what I’m into now but I have always been deeply interested in it. I remember being a small bairn dancing at the top of the stairs with my parent’s old hi-fi system and a little disco ball.

At the age of 12 I got my first controller. It was a Numark Mixtrack Pro. The bee’s knee back in the day.

I think around then I was listening to dubstep. However, over the years it progressed from that to electro house, garage, tech-house, and then finally for the last three years I’ve been glued to techno.

At 14 I got into the production of music. A friend from school was making tunes on his laptop and I was hooked. That’s when it all started. I was coming home every night after school and cooking up a new track.

At 16 after finishing my GCSE’s I really didn’t know what I wanted to do. I wasn’t the best student academically, so 6th form wasn’t an option. I had to visit Newcastle College where I found a music production course for electronic music. I picked up loads of good tips and got to meet some brilliant people there. At 18 I started the 3-year degree course. I’m coming into my last year this September.

Tell us about your latest song ‘Intermitted Signals.’ How did it come about?

So right, it’s funny because it’s; ‘the fastest song I’ve produced’in a while.

3 days max. Including the mastering.

It’s a fast-paced industrial track that consists of hard punchy drums, a trippy rolling lead and a calling vocal. (Link to track.)

It was for a project for college. I was running late, and I had to make an EP. Normally I’d spend days on a loop before eventually arranging it.

I simply must work my best under pressure. *chuckles*

Amazing stuff, so is it just techno you’re into? What else makes you move?

I pretty much listen to techno all the time. I do occasionally listen to jungle, and I love the old school drum and bass. I take some inspiration from it because it consists of heavy sampling which I find is my strength in the production of music.

I still listen to bits of house music as that’s what most of my DJ mates play.

You co created RAW MATERIAL tell us a little about it?

So, I came up with the idea about two years ago of creating an imprint called ‘Raw Material’ for dark industrial techno. It didn’t come to life till about a year ago when a module on our course was based around putting on an event. Me and co-founder Adam. (who I couldn’t have worked without) assembled a team amongst other students on our course. We were given a budget from the college £200 per student. There were seven of us in total. So, we looked at various venues in the toon to put a night on mid-week.

We were close to securing ‘The Cut’ however we had £1400 to put on a night and I wanted to go the extra mile of booking a headline act. I knew exactly who I wanted.

A huge inspirational artist of mine who I have been following since his first release on ‘SUARA’ back in 2018. We went over budget and I spend a grand out of my own pocket to pay for the extra costs.

As this was a side project for me, I wasn’t interested in continuing it after the first event. However, seeing how happy and how hard people were going for it. It felt amazing seeing it and it pushed me to another one in the future.

Although I lost lots of money, seeing how happy people were made up for it to think that we were able to make an event like this happen.

I’m hoping to recruit passionate upcoming techno artists in Newcastle to be a part of future events to support big artist bookings and for ‘Raw Material’ to become the leading event in Newcastle for techno.

Who’s your ideal booking?

Oooooo its always changing. It’s not necessarily who I want to book but more of which bookings can you bring crowds into.

I don’t intend on doing this for-profit bit I need to make sure I can make my money back. My ideal booking would be Glasgow’s finest ‘SLAM’ however there are many different artists like ‘Paula Temple, Rebekah, SHDW & Obscure Shape.’

I’m actually looking after lock-down to get a club booked but honestly, I think Newcastle could do with a booking like ‘SLAM.’

Who’d you like to collab with?

Collaborations I don’t normally think about but if I could at the moment I would choose ‘MRD’ or ‘Blicz.’ I love ‘Kahyia’ and would love to learn how to produce tracks like that.

I love the sounds and vibe in Gate 212 from ‘Blicz.’ Both artists own some amazing gear which I would love to try out.

Favorite Gig?

Since turning 18 I’ve attended a fair number of gigs in the toon. Loads of amazing nights out but if I had to choose one it would be ‘LOOP’ presents ‘Amelie Lens’ at ‘Digital Newcastle.’

It had the strongest line up support from ‘Farrago’ and ‘Milo Spykers.’ The sets were unbelievable. Proper hard and driving techno and it was ‘PACKED.’

Still wish I could revisit that night again.

Favorite Festival?

I’ve never been to a festival *shock* * facepalm* although I will eventually go to one.

Whisky or Beer?

Depends but I like well, quite like ‘Jack Daniels. Whisky it is ha-ha.

Perfect night out?

I’m not really into your typical student nights out in Newcastle. I’m more over a raver ha-ha.

My ideal night out would be like ‘APEX’ or ‘LOOP’. Basically, anything Techno.

Who influences you the most?

Pretty simple, RUDOSA.

I honestly think the stuff that he does like hiss DJ school, his own production style, the music he plays in his set. It’s unbelievable. He’s helping so many producers as well like myself.

I sent him a track and he gave me feedback to work on. He’s doing so much for the scene and that’s why I look up to him.

Honestly if it wasn’t my event he was playing at. I’d be all over the dance floor… ha-ha * true story *

Where do you see yourself in 3 years’ time?

I would like to have a full love set sorted by then. I recently bought a ‘Xone96 mixer’ and it connects to Ableton so hopefully 3 years’ time I can perform a full hour or twos set for a side project.

I’d hope by that point to have actually pulled a finger out and actually send an EP off to a decent size label like ‘SUARA.’ It’s a big label but pushes a harder style of techno as a pose to your Drumcode and WATB.

I’d like to have my tracks played out by bigger artists in the scene. But who knows what the future holds.

Any advice for those starting out?

My advice would be don’t pull a ‘Kane Hannay.’

Actually, watch tutorials on YouTube to learn how to do things because that’s probably the reason it’s taken me so long to get where I am with my production. I can’t watch a video without trying something random on Ableton. However, this has allowed me to be creative with my productions.

If you’re DJing and want to be the next ‘Amelie Lens, SNTS,’ or whatever. You need to produce music. Anyone can DJ but it’s your music that sets us apart from the next Artist.

Don’t sign your tracks to small labels. There’s no point in spending days making a tune to send it off to a label where no one will listen. Aim for larger or medium (well known) labels.

And go into your email and send them demo’s off to DJ’s and producers.

Shy bairns get nowt…

Thanks again Kane. Have an amazing evening.

CLIQUE

#music #producer #article #northeast #techno

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cyborgslayers · 8 years ago

Note

All the music questions!

Thanks Mo! I started this and had links to the songs but I accidentally closed my browser :’) Sorry it’s so long, RIP mobile users

1. a song from the year you were born

Until It Sleeps by Metallica- I had to look through a lot of my music to find something -__-

2. a song that reminds you of school

Majesty by Ghost- it reminds me of walking around campus

3. a song tied to a specific moment in your life

Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow by Frank Zappa- it was playing when I rear ended someone in January u__u

4. a song that is not sung in your native language

En Vind Av Sorg by Darkthrone was the first one I found on my phone

5. a song over 5 minutes long

Parabola by Tool- but I have a lot of songs over 5 minutes lol

6. a song under 2 minutes long

Abyss by Expire- but I also have a lot of songs under 2 minutes lol

7. an instrumental

That It’s Already Too Late To Leave by Magna Carta Cartel- like half this album is instrumental and it’s really chill

8. a classical piece

Overture of 1812 by Tchaikovsky was the first one that I thought of because I’m uncultured swine

9. a song with no percussion

Ummmmm a lot of stuff by Emilie Autumn has no percussion? Shout out to 2010 me what’s up

10. something you’ve heard performed live

Stand By Him by Ghost- but also like half of the music on my phone because I live for concerts

11. something you’d give ANYTHING to hear performed live

ANYTHNG FROM BLOODBATH

12. a song by an artist who’s from where you’re from (town/city/state/country)

Believe by Trapped Under Ice- TUI is from Baltimore but if you mean actual hometown then Chasing Morgan is from Bel Air

13. a song made suddenly precious because of a special someone

Ummmm I have no clue I don’t really associate songs with people like that

14. a song made suddenly awful because of a special someone

Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas makes me cry every time I hear it- thanks Dave Brockie

15. something to BELT SHAMELESSLY/do DIVA HANDS to

Victim of Changes by Judas Priest- I absolutely sing this at the top of my lungs every time

16. something to SCREAM ALONG to

Cries in Vain by Bullet For My Valentine- no clue why but this song always makes me lose my shit

17. a song for raging

BYOB by System of a Down- especially towards the end

18. a song that demands lipsyncing into a makeshift microphone

Turbo Lover by Judas Priest- I fucking love this song alsdjflsaj

19. the last song you had stuck in your head

Falling to Pieces by Faith No More- it’s stuck in my head like everyday fml

20. a song you’re dying to master all the words to

Gold Teeth On A Bum by The Dillinger Escape Plan- I’m not dying to know the words but I always realize I don’t know the words to it

21. a song that you could SLAY at karaoke

Paranoid by Black Sabbath- I’ve never been to sing karaoke so idk if that’s even something that a place would offer but it’s pretty mainstream right?

22. a song you can’t help but dance to

Separate Ways by Journey fnasdlvnowhf

23. a song that makes you want to dance on a table

Ignition Remix by R. Kelly LMAO

24. a song that makes you wanna STRIP

Thunder Kiss ‘65 by Rob Zombie- it’s the groove I guess

25. a song with a great music video

Sextape by Deftones- I am gay and I like swimming

26. a song that makes you act out the music video when you hear it

Ummm none?

27. a song with counting

Facefisted by Dethklok is all I can think of a;lsdjflk;asd

28. a song with spelling

Death Knell by Ghost- this one was instant (ESS AY TEEEEEEE AY ENNNNN)

29. a song with lots of clapping

Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood by Santa Esmeralda- this song is so fuckin good

30. a song 40 years older than you

Heartbreak Hotel by Elvis Presley- I looked up the number one song of 1956 lol

31. a song you wish your parents didn’t know the words to

All the songs by Steel Panther, I hate hearing my mom sing those ~__~

32. a song whose lyrics shocked you once you were old enough to understand them

I don’t wanna repeat songs buttttttt stuff that’s political like BYOB or things I didn’t experience yet like Pink Floyd

33. a song you have ZERO patience for

Pretty much anything by Kiss, I don’t really like them

34. a song you’d like your favorite artist to cover

Nookie by Limp Bizkit- I would kill half of all Ghost fans for Ghost to do this

35. a great song you discovered thanks to a movie

Jungle Boogie by Kool & The Gang- lmao I grew up with my mom listening to funk occasionally but I never heard this song until Pulp Fiction

36. a great song you discovered thanks to television

Andromeda by Dethklok- does this even count laskdjflasj

37. a song you’re ashamed to have in your music library

Panic Attack by Diesel- some dubstep song from when I was 14 that I can’t remove (not like I’m emotionally attached, I keep deleting it and it comes back)

38. ok what’s the song you were too ashamed to even post for #37

I mean that’s it.... I don’t have music that I’m ashamed to listen to, I’m comfortable with listening to bad bands

39. the most played song in your music library

I don’t know, I could find out on my macbook but it’s broken right now RIP

40. favorite disney song

I mean? I haven’t watched disney movies in probably 10 years so N/A I guess

#ask meme #mopedarooni

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playgamestime · 8 years ago

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Review: Super Mario Bros. Deluxe (Game Boy Color)

INITIAL THOUGHTS

What is it?

A classic iconic Nintendo platformer that demonstrates why the the Game Boy was a portable dream machine.

Super Mario Bros Deluxe on Game Boy Color was a long overdue revisit.

I remember this game because I didn’t get a Game Boy until very late compared to the rest of my friends and I was full of desire to be fully immersed in games vicariously through other people.

As I kid I traveled quite a bit. So what would happen while I was traveling with my family is the following... Somehow on a plane I would find the one adult closest to me who had a Game Boy and make these really sad puppy dog eyes. The saddest I could possibly make. I didn’t even do it on purpose. It was genuine. And you know what happened? Just about every single time, the person playing (almost always an adult male) would ask if I wanted to play and they let me play! I know this sounds strange but at the time it seemed like for some reason it gave them a kick to see me happy playing games on this rectangular portable system.

Looking back I wonder if maybe that happiness was based on a kind of cultural tradition like passing on a torch. Think about how childhood stories remain within the world of children when kids are constantly growing up? Someone has to be around to pass certain things on the next batch of kids. I like to imagine that the game boy created a similar function between adults, mostly strangers (yes I know my parents taught me never to speak to strangers) and their attempt of passing a sacred upper middle class childhood rite of passage on to me.

Shame I didn’t get one until the 8th grade.

Anyway, Super Mario Bros was by far the most common game I encountered when in flight, which makes sense because it was one of the best selling games of all time.

When it comes to Super Mario Bros Deluxe, I remember it having an extra special mystique because it was originally only released in Japan since Nintendo deemed it too hard for American audiences.

On to the actual game itself...

Super Mario Bros Deluxe is a beautiful game. There is nothing random about it. Everything has an intent, a meaning, a function, a purpose that reinforces fun.

I took out some headphones and plugged it into my old Game Boy Color system and was amazed to realize that playing the game at times feels like you are playing a musical instrument. Your movement through worlds is a remix with each level being a track waiting for your inputs in for the form of how you move. Forward, backward, jumps, deaths, every note your movement makes always lands on beat. Even when you are waiting to start the game, the beep that alerts you is more like a siren’s invitation challenging you to play.

The other thing that I appreciated in revisiting this game after so many years is how all actions are tied to a meaning. I mean I said that before but I’ll get into detail now. Anything you destroy has a meaning. Random blocks add up to points. Coins you collect add up. Enemies you hit add up. Everything in here that you are allowed to interact with adds up in some way. This allows the player to infuse the game with themselves. This character really is an extension of you which in turn helps it have amazing responsiveness and game feel.

Now all games have compromises and flaws right? The only one I feel like commenting on is the use of sound during some of the puzzle maze elements. In terms of accessibility, this is where Super Mario Bros Deluxe hurts. See sound is such an integral part of this game that if you were to play it on silent... in theory there are some levels that you would never be able to beat because you just don’t get the cue to let you know when you are heading in the right or wrong direction. There could be a visual cue that I just missed and I don’t know about it. If there is then let me know.

Another downside to this game is that initially it felt incredibly lonely compared to the many games out today that have so many social features. Though Super Mario Bros Deluxe does have some local multi-player features, I don’t know where I can find someone with a cord. I don’t know where my own cord is. I am even shocked I was able to find my old Game By Color and that it still works! I quickly got over that intense loneliness after the first world and... I think the reason why is because this game is excellent at creating gates of flow that you can slide in and out of in short ways. Like you don’t realize you are in flow until you get out of it. Its very easy to lose track of time playing this game.

One of the things I appreciate about this game is that it gives you just what you need to know in order to get to the next level. Everything is built around need to know information in the sense of... based on the technological limits of the the hardware, how much information needs to be on a screen in order for a player to know what to do next? Super Mario Bros Deluxe mastered this by mastering and understanding the constraints both of the technology and the world they created for players to explore.

I admit though I could be totally bias because I already loved this game as a childhood favorite.

Why I play it?

I’m exploring old game mechanics. In Super Mario Bros Deluxe, and almost really all the Mario games, just walking and running around in the environment feels fun before you even encounter complex difficulty. This is an important lesson that I hope to remember in my future gamedev dabbles.

Is it kid friendly?

Hmmm... Yes and no. On the surface if you don’t read anything into it its a pretty damn safe game. A kid can’t get into too much trouble. As an adult I will say that freudian points of view and a brief trip to the gutter might have projected more sexual innuendo than what is actually there. I actually wrote quite a lot about this but I will not be including it in this post. If you see it, you see it. As a kid it flew over my head but as an adult I totally see it so pick and choose your battles if you are debating whether or not this is a good video game. If you see it, psssh... your kid probably will too.

Final thoughts:

Super Mario Bros Deluxe is a game that has aged gracefully and can teach everyone a thing or two about basic fun and user responsiveness. If you have a game boy, go ahead, dust that bad boy off, pick an empty slot or the slot with the least progress, and start the journey all over again. If you have never played this game, think about how much video games have changed since this has come out. Were you even born yet?

#super mario bros #mario #mario bros #super mario bros deluxe #deluxe #gamedev #review #videogame #nintendo #super mario #games #nintendo games #90s #90s kids #gbc #game boy #game boy color

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no-crap-fm · 8 years ago

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An Evening Walk - Chapter 11

Rae hummed as she studied the menu. Finn recognized the hum was The Smiths’ Ask, an old favorite of his. Having decided on his order he had time to observe Rae. Leaning his chin in his hand, he smiled to himself. She twirled a loose strand of hair around her finger and then tucked it back into place. That’s my job, Finn thought. He was so distracted by Rae’s hair and his desire to touch it he jumped as she slapped her menu down on the table with a look of resignation. “Beef Wellington, I think.” Finn shook with silent laughter. He straightened and smacked the table. “Make that two.” Her enthusiasm inspired him to change his mind. Sharing a chuckle, Finn got their server’s attention and placed their order. “It’s actually an excellent choice, Rae.” He winked at her as their menus were collected. Once their server departed, Finn reached across the table and clasped Rae’s hand in both of his. “Rae, em, how would you feel about coming to Stamford with me?” Her sudden wide eyed expression concerned him. Rubbing her hand he tried to approach it from another angle. “I know it’s still new for us but my dad has been after me to come home and I thought you could see your family.” Rae remained still and Finn was worried. “Rae, blink for me. Have I scared ya?” He bit his lip and scrunched his eyebrows. Finally releasing the breath she’d been holding, Rae said, “No, Finn! Em, I’m not scared…just shocked.” Letting her hands go, Finn asked, “Why shocked, Rae? Too soon to ask you to meet my dad?” Blinking rapidly, Rae guffawed. “It isn’t that, Finn. I’d love to meet your dad. It’s just…” Her eyes dropped to the tablecloth and she shook her head. “What, Rae? It’s just what?” Finn was feeling anxiety rise at her strange reaction. Pushing back from the table, Rae said, “It’s just that I was going to ask if you would want to come home to Stamford with me!” It was Finn’s turn to freeze and slowly resume his breathing. Nodding, Rae went on, “I spoke to my mum today and she reminded me that I was expected home this weekend. It’s my little sister’s birthday on Saturday. I had planned to go and promptly forgot in the throes of recent events.” She gave Finn a shy smile and continued, “And naturally, when I told my mum about you-” Finn’s enormous grin was undeniable as he cut her off. “You told your mum about me, Rae?” His eyebrows cocked as he reached for her hand again. Biting her lip, Rae said, “I might have done. A little bit anyway…” Finn sighed. “That’s good because I kind of wouldn’t shut up about you to my dad.” He laughed. “It sounds like we’re on equal footing in that regard.” Lifting her glass to Finn’s, Rae said, “Indeed, here’s to equal footing.” The glasses clinked as the pair locked eyes and gazed at the other as they sipped their wine. Swallowing, Rae said, “So, how about it?” She set her glass on the table and leaned toward Finn. “Ya fancy goin’ round to me mum’s Finn?” Choking a little on his wine, Finn coughed and nodded. “Only if you’ll come round to me dad’s.” Rae’s smile was all the approval Finn needed. He was thoughtful for a moment. “We should probably take the early train on Saturday. We both have work on Friday and we still have plans to meet up with Archie and his boyfriend, James. I figured a late dinner would be best. Would that work for you, Rae?” Rae nodded. “Em, I would guess you were planning to stay at your mum’s. But my dad has a guest room that would fit both of us. We could even sleep in my old bedroom, if you wanted. How does that sound?” Rae was tickled. “You thought of everything, Finn. All you need to do is figure out what I need to pack.” A serious demeanor overtook him as he said, “I love everything you wear, Rae. I also love when you don’t wear anything.” Rae took a huge gulp of her wine and tried to get her cardiovascular system to behave. Taking a calming breath she chided, “Now, now, Finn, none of that or we won’t make it through dinner.” His stare was getting far too intense for Rae to remain seated. “If you didn’t want me to think about it you wouldn’t have worn your hair up. All I’ve been imagining is you back at my flat in nothing but my Radiohead t-shirt. And in my fantasy you don’t get to keep it on for long.” Rae’s breathing became shallow panting as she felt her cheeks burn while Finn focused on her. Finn went on, “I noticed it when I saw you at the station. I had to give myself a moment to recover my senses. That’s why I called you before I came to your desk.” “You called me while you were in the building?” Rae was caught off guard. Finn nodded slowly. “I had to, Rae. You looked so insanely sexy and I knew I would make a scene if I rushed up like I wanted. When I saw you check your phone I grabbed mine and you know the rest.” He gave her a wink and added, “I’m so glad you like your flowers.” “You are astonishing, Mr. Nelson. Nothing gets past you.” Rae’s mouth hung open as their server approached with their food. Finn beamed at her. As he lifted his knife and fork he gestured for her to tuck in. The meal passed with the two agreeing on Finn’s suggestion of taking the Saturday morning train. Finn was going to call Archie to firm up plans for Friday night. Rae would chat with her mum about sleeping arrangements. The option to stay at Finn’s dad’s appealed to her. As much as Rae adored her family, she could always use a respite from her mum during her visits. “I think I should probably stay at yours on Friday,” Finn said as he took another bite of his perfectly cooked beef. Not missing a beat, Rae challenged, “Is that so, Finn?” Swallowing his bite, Finn said, “Well, I would imagine you would feel better leaving from yours. You can make doubly sure to have everything you’d like to take along.” “Including you?” She teased. “To be sure, Rae.” He lazily pushed his fork onto his plate to cut another morsel. “I should probably tell you I have an ulterior motive for wanting to stay at yours Friday night.” Rae took a sip of wine and said, “And what is that?” She cocked her eyebrow in expectation. Lifting his fork, Finn said, “I will be happier knowing I have a guaranteed night with you on my calendar.” He popped the bit of beef in his mouth and groaned making Rae giggle. “But Finn, we’ve spent every night together since we met.” Rae was perplexed. “I know, Rae. But those were all spur of the moment. I love the thought of making plans with you.” The words were out of Finn’s mouth and a moment later he considered their significance. Finn had never been one to make plans with women. He was very much an I’ll call you later kind of man. Aside from work, his father and Archie, Finn was patently disinterested in setting appointments. His previous girlfriends would be amazed to hear him say such things. Rae was bordering on overwhelmed. This kind, funny, affectionate man was saying things she had never entertained hearing in her wildest fantasies. “So, em, we’re not going to break our pattern tonight.” She bounced her eyes to his. “Are we?” Finn gulped at her lusty look. A crooked smile took over his face as he scanned the restaurant for their server. They finished their meal and Finn quickly paid the bill. Stepping around to Rae’s chair, he held her coat for her. As she pulled her arms through the sleeves, Finn gave her a lingering kiss just below her ear. He whispered huskily, “I told ya, I love your hair like this.” Rae shivered and not from the cold.

Finn got them safely back to his in a trice. He and Rae stowed his bike and found themselves in Finn’s bedroom faster than their previous nights. Rae rested her hip against Finn’s bed frame. “Well, now that you have me here, Finn, what are you going to do with me?” Her eyes went wide in faux innocence. Sauntering over to her, an arousing smirk firmly in place, Finn placed his hands on Rae’s hips and squeezed. She gasped as he pulled her flush against his body. Finn’s mouth was at her throat, kissing and teasing. Rae’s ragged moan was the only sound as Finn continued his movements while undressing Rae.

Wednesday came in a whirlwind of activity for the couple. Rae had another stellar show and discovered she was gaining a sizable amount of listeners. Her station heads were thrilled at her results and sent their compliments. Chop was effusive about Rae’s mix of sound and edgy music choices. “We’re educatin’ the audience, we are!” He’d gushed as he’d waved to Rae from the exit door. Finn enjoyed two tremendous recording sessions, followed by loads of editing and remixing. Both artists had genuine potential if what he heard in his studio was any indication. Rae stopped by the studio late Wednesday night. Finn played what he thought would be the first single on a new album for her. She agreed with Finn that there were some really ingenious arrangements. “I’ve never had someone to talk to about this stuff before, Rae. I mean, my mates in the industry, but no one like you.” He pulled her onto his lap in front of the board. “Well, Finn, would you say you were ever involved with someone like me?” She raised an eyebrow. Pushing her hair into place and tucking his hands behind her ears, he sucked his lips in and thought. Pulling her in for a kiss he whispered against her lips, “Never, Rae. There’s no one else like you in the world.” Rae stayed with Finn for an all-nighter at the studio. As much as Finn wanted her to get some rest, he loved having her with him. Rae brought him cups of tea and scrutinized the sound quality along with him. Rolling the sleeves up on his flannel, he turned to Rae. “You know, you would have made a fantastic engineer, Rae. I would hire you in a second.” Rae laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind, Finn.” She sipped her tea with big eyes and said, “It’s just so cool getting to be part of this.” They shared a smile. “I really love this, Finn.” He wondered what she meant by this but Finn left it for another time. “I love it too, Rae. You’re really good company.” He caught Rae’s yawn and insisted she rest. Finn stood and moved to the sofa against the wall. Rae was relieved and surprised to see that the sofa was a pullout. The bed was made with soft sheets and blankets. Rae sighed at the sight, her exhaustion getting the better of her. The pair wound up sleeping on the sofa in the studio. Finn spent the odd late night there and kept a pullout sofa exactly for that purpose. “You’re my first guest,” he declared as he scooted closer to cuddle Rae. “I’m flattered,” she said as she stifled another yawn. “Don’t be. I’m the one who’s lucky to have you here.” Kissing the back of her head, Finn closed his arms around her and murmured, “Goodnight, Rae.” She rubbed her hand over Finn’s arm and muttered, “I’m lucky too, Finn, goodnight.”

More to come...

All my thanks for reading! - Katie

#an evening walk #mmfd #rae earl #finn nelson #rinn

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227snewfacebookfries · 7 years ago

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seriouslyhooked · 8 years ago

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Just a Taste (A CS AU) Part 3/10

AU where Emma and Killian are contestants on the Great American Baking Show and all twelve contestants hail from Storybrooke Maine. In this AU Emma is a book editor by day, while Killian is an architect who just moved to town a few months prior. Expect baked goods, flirtatious interactions, a little drama and a whole lot of fluff with a guaranteed HEA for Captain Swan. Rated M.

Part One Here, Part Two Here

A/N: Week three is ‘biscuit’ week everyone, and you know what that means – actually maybe not. What it means is lots of fluff for CS, some development on other couples I’ve been gradually pairing, more interactions between judges, hosts and contestants, and a lot of yummy theoretical food. Hope you enjoy!

“Biscuits?!” The word was stated in alarmed question by at least half of the contestants, to clarify what the hosts had meant as Emma bit back a smile.

Surely the producers couldn’t have planned this reaction better, for it showed that many of these competitors hadn’t actually seen the original show. But what many were currently worried about, Emma was surprisingly okay with. She knew what it really meant – crackers and cookies day.

“In tribute to our British counterpart, we too are having a day celebrating what our friends across the pond call ‘biscuits,’” Graham said. “They can be savory, or sweet, thin and crispy, or sometimes here melty and gooey.”

“Jones, what is this guy on about – is this a good day or a bad one?” David asked, unwilling to listen to the entire written dialogue from the judges and now Emma let go of the fight against her smile. She couldn’t help it, especially when she saw Killian’s look of surprise.

“They’ll have us doing a cracker, a cookie and then perhaps something else. Right?” Ruby and Graham nodded.

“Is that something else an actual biscuit, because if not, that’s misleading.” Killian threw his hands up in the air at Lance’s question.

“Don’t look at me, mate.” Quieter and only for Emma, Killian added, “Though to be fair, it was our word first.”

“That may just be the most British thing I’ve ever heard.” Emma replied before bringing their attention back to the hosts.

“Now that you’re all caught up on what a biscuit might actually be, we give you your first challenge. A savory biscuit, or what around these parts is called a cracker. You must have thirty-six to present to the judges, all of them identical, and don’t think our magistrates wont notice. There’s not a single set of identical twins my grandmother hasn’t sniffed the differences out of, as you all well know.” Emma wrinkled her nose at that line in particular from Ruby. “What Emma?” Ruby asked.

“Well now you’ve just made it seem like Granny goes around smelling people to identify them.” Ruby covered her mouth to giggle, probably only just realizing what her written line had made it sound like, but got herself together before the bell was set for them to start.

“All right bakers,” Graham led before Ruby joined him. “On your marks…”

“Get set…”

“Bake!”

The whole group followed those instructions, working towards their first challenge trying to get it right. In truth, Emma had never made crackers before watching this show. It had never occurred to her that one could make them at home and they’d turn out better than the ones that you could buy at the store. Oh how wrong she had been, for now a few years later, she never bought crackers from the box anymore, and felt because of it she had a leg up on this competition.

“Do you think I could put bacon in a cracker?” Ella asked to no one in particular. Emma herself had never tried that, mostly because they needed to be so thin. Cutting bacon to accommodate the correct shape might be hard.

“Ew, why would you want bacon in a cracker?” Catherine replied coldly and Ella shook her head as she stared down at her recipe. Emma’s heart went out to her, because she seemed to be truly stumped at the task at hand, but soon enough she was mixing together a batter, and Emma became so wrapped up in her own bake, she lost track of Ella’s worry.

“Whatever the heck is in your oven smells to die for,” Ruby said when she and Graham made their way to Emma a while later as the crackers were baking. Emma smiled and agreed.

“It’s a three cheese blend incorporated into the dough, sun dried tomato and a hint of rosemary.” Graham looked very impressed.

“Wow, do you even need to couple something with a cracker like that?” Emma shrugged.

“You can eat them by themselves I suppose, but the best thing in my opinion is to take a little bit of mozzarella and melt it on top and then add a slice of prosciutto.”

“You didn’t happen to…“ Graham began but he lost his words mid mouth water.

“Bring some for you and Ruby to try? Actually I did Graham, so no worries.”

At that moment, the timer went off and her crackers were ready. Emma pulled them from the oven, convinced that they were thoroughly done with the right amount of crunch and the best level of crispness possible. She had made forty-eight instead on thirty-six, learning in the past that it was better to cook a few extra just for appearances sake, and while most of them were moved to the cooling rack, she took ten and made the small treats so that the hosts and her friends in the competition could try. All this baking was a lot of work after all; everyone deserved a snack before the judging.

“I don’t think we’re supposed to have a favorite in the running, Emma, but you might just be mine after that. Holy cow, that’s good.”

“Careful Graham, your Midwestern roots are showing. I don’t think anyone has said ‘Holy Cow’ since the state fair of 1908.” Ruby’s jest pulled a cute moment from the two hosts, that Emma knew would play great on the show, but she had to wonder in that instant if maybe there was more than a playful friendship blooming between her friend Ruby and the reality television star.

“Sorry we can’t all hail from some tiny town in Maine.”

“Oh no you don’t, if you’re about to talk badly about Storybrooke, you better stop. We might be messy, but we have fun living that way.” Mary Margaret’s defense of the town had Emma mouthing ‘messy?’ to her friend in confusion. The pixie-haired woman shrugged, and Emma assumed it must be some new slang term the kids were using. As a teacher, Mary Margaret always had a leg up on that stuff, so Emma just decided to trust her. “Besides, Emma probably won’t give you any more samples if you say stuff about her home.”

“Speaking of homes, Emma, you haven’t always lived in Storybrooke.” Emma’s defenses were on the rise with this line of question, as they always were when confronted with her past. She tried to avoid thinking about the way she’d been raised, and the loneliness that defined her life in the foster system. She certainly didn’t want to be getting into it on national TV.

“I moved around a lot as a kid, but I think home is where your heart is, and that’s Storybrook to me.” Still Graham didn’t let it go, no doubt prompted by the production staff behind the camera.

“So before then what - your heart was a wanderer? Your parents didn’t feel strongly about laying down roots?”

There it was – the inquiry into her parents and just as Emma was going to try and find a way to tactfully say, ‘I don’t know my parents, why can’t you just leave me alone about my past?’ a loud clanging came from Killian’s station. In seconds, the camera had left Emma and was making towards him, with the judges in tow.

“What happened?” Emma asked and Mary Margaret filled in as she ran over to Emma’s table.

“He just dropped his entire tray of crackers!”

Emma’s eyes grew wide with shock – seriously? There was less than twenty minutes left. That left no time for him to remix and bake it the correct interval. At best, Killian would have crackers that were too soft.

“That’s awful,” Emma mused as Mary Margaret’s hand came to Emma’s arm and squeezed.

“Honey, he did it for you.” Emma tore her gaze from Killian to look into her friend’s eyes.

“What do you mean…?” But Emma understood already.

Killian had seen how uncomfortable she was with the line of questioning and even though he didn’t know all of the details himself, he sacrificed his crackers to become this episode’s story of woe. He’d spared her a lot of public sympathy, and he’d done it by undercutting his own standings today. Emma looked back over at him, watching as he calmly remixed the dough, not leaving it to rise and only for a moment, he stole a glance at her. Their eyes met, and Emma had a flash of understanding.

I’m in love with him.

The words rang out in her head so strong and sure that there could be no denying them. So what if it had only been a few weeks that they’d really known each other? Crazier things had happened. In that short time Killian had accomplished so much – he’d torn down the walls Emma erected against nearly everyone while also giving her so much of himself. He showered her with the affirmation that she was lovely and desirable and a good person and he did it without ulterior motives. And he saw her where so many other people could only look. With Killian, Emma was fully honest and giving of herself and she was rewarded with nothing but genuine caring and proof that he felt for her too. Whether it was love in Killian’s eyes or just a serious fondness, Emma wasn’t yet sure, but of her own feelings she had no doubt. She was in love with Killian Jones, and that in itself was it’s own special kind of miracle.

She moved towards him, taking a step, wanting to see if there was anything she could do to help, but Mary Margaret’s arm held her back. She kept Emma in place, and when Emma looked into her friend’s eyes she realized why. The cameras were still watching the rest of the contestants, mostly to see the reactions, but one camera in particular was trained on Emma with curiosity. If she went to help him, she’d be bringing herself back to the forefront and some of Killian’s sacrifice would be for nothing.

“I never realized my life made for such great TV,” Emma said a little bitterly, resenting the fact that this show was toying with her a bit for an audience tear jerk or a ratings boost.

The producers had tried the past few weeks to highlight Killian and Emma’s relationship, and now they were trying to exploit her past. If this was how they did things in the original franchise, Emma as an audience member was completely oblivious and clearly everyone they’d chosen for the competition lived average, bland lives. Now her past was becoming a liability, and what Emma wanted for her future had to be protected at all costs.

What was most distressing about this though was that the person she felt so in opposition to was Killian’s brother of all people. No doubt Liam had cleared the questions about Emma’s childhood, and if Emma had to hazard a guess, that fact was what still had Killian clenching his jaw as he got his crackers into the oven once more.

A lifetime passed in those remaining ten minutes as Emma and the others prepared their displays for the judge’s consideration, but no one stood out to her more than Killian, who with quiet determination at least created something to be tasted by Gold, Regina and Granny. He hadn’t let his set back keep him from providing something for the challenge, and for that reason Emma was proud as well as grateful. Now though, she didn’t give a damn about the rankings or the scores. All Emma wanted was to get Killian alone and thank him properly.

Actually that wasn’t all, she also wanted to tell him everything. For the first time in her life, she thought she’d found a man who wouldn’t look at her as broken goods once she said the words, once she revealed what life had truly been like as an orphan and a lost girl. Killian would still see her, and maybe he could one day grow to love her as much as she realized she loved him.

“These are raw.” Gold’s words were spat out with such condescension at Killian, that it had Emma’s hands balling into fists. Did he need to be so blatantly horrible to people? Was his own life so miserable that he took joy in being cruel?

“That they are,” Killian responded, unaffected by the harsh tones of Gold’s voice, which only made his tormenter gruffer. Gold made a show of breaking apart almost a dozen of the crackers to show that they wouldn’t snap as they should. “Mr. Gold, I can assure you that while my bake lacked crispiness, it does have consistency. They will all be raw if one is.”

“What is this ‘raw’ business? They’re cooked, just soft, and if you keep putting your hands all over every one, I can’t possibly try it.” Granny shoved Gold’s hand back grabbing herself a cracker and Regina did the same, trying it and nodding. “The taste is good, so what happened?”

“A bit of clumsiness I’m afraid. I dropped my first batch and had to make a second.”

What Killian neglected to say was that he’d dropped them for Emma, and that it had been selflessness that brought about a less than spectacular showing from him. Emma wanted to say that, but she held her tongue, allowing the judges to go on. When Killian stepped back from their examination though, his eyes caught Emma’s and he smiled. The chill that had clung to her and the anxiety that was there only moments before now dissipated. He had the most amazing ability to calm her, and that was much needed as the judges came to assess her food.

Her reviews were far superior, earning her the praise of all three judges (well two, Gold just kind of made a weird humming sound before nodding and walking away). In the end, Emma’s were far and a way the favorite, while Ella and Catherine had struggled. Seemed bacon in a cracker was not in fact a good idea, but neither was Catherine’s kale monstrosity that had made the crackers green and bitter. Both women had much to prove in the next challenge, which was, interestingly enough, strawberry shortcake. It allowed the contestants, finally to show the judges what biscuit meant in America.

This recipe was Granny’s and one that probably every Storybrooke citizen had consumed at one time or another. Though while they were all familiar with the treat, that didn’t make it an easy competition. Where Granny gave them every ingredient, she somehow neglected to give instructions on how to mix them together. People were trying to mix this like cake or cookies, but Emma knew from her time making this dessert before that this was a cold batter. Each bit of butter and each pour of milk was chilled, and thus the mixing process was very different. That knowledge gave Emma the advantage, and had her finishing in first for the day. All in all she’d managed to do very well, but she was anxious to leave this day behind her. There had simply been too much drama for her liking, and now, she was looking forward to a quiet evening, hopefully with Killian, away from the craziness of this show.

…………………

The next morning, as Emma stirred awake, she felt the strangest sense of warmth around her. In the moments between sleep and awareness, when her eyes were still closed and her mind still a little foggy, she thought it might be a warm blanket, until something moved against her and her eyes opened. The man she saw beside her made her smile. Killian was still asleep, curled around her like he would never let go.

In sleep he looked so peaceful, and any of the tension that he had the day before was gone. His hair had fallen across his brow, nearly shielding his eyes, and this time Emma let herself push it back, careful to keep the touch so light that he shouldn’t stir. When she brought her hand back to where it had been laying on his chest and his breathing was still even, Emma relaxed again and allowed herself to think back on the night before.

When they’d stolen away from the big white tent, Emma invited Killian to her house for a low-key night. She’d promised take out and a movie on Netflix, but the latter had never actually happened, for after dinner, Emma had felt the need to speak her truth.

“What you did today… I’ll never be able to thank you enough.” Killian reached out to take her hand as they stood in the kitchen cleaning up and when she looked into his blue eyes, Emma only saw patience and acceptance.

“You don’t owe it to anyone to tell them the story of your former life Emma. If me dropping things helps spare you from painful memories, I can do it all day long.” Emma laughed as his arms came to wrap around her in a hug she so desperately needed. While she was enveloped in the warmth of his chest, she felt safe enough to speak the words.

“I never knew my parents. I was found abandoned on the side of a highway with nothing but a blanket that said my name on it. I tried to be the kind of kid people would want, but nothing ever stuck, and I ended up bouncing around from home to home. It wasn’t until I was a teen that I realized being unloved and unwanted hurt less if you ran. So I was a runaway, causing the system problems left and right. It went on like that a long time, until I found Storybrooke.” The mistiness in her eyes manifested finally to tears as Emma pulled back to wipe them away and then looked in Killian’s eyes.

“The people here, they could see I was hurting, and they didn’t push, they just let me in. I met Mary Margaret, and Ruby and Belle. They were all enrolled at UMaine a few towns over, and they helped me get a job so I could do the same. Things shouldn’t have turned out as well as they did for me. Because of that, I’ll always look at this place like it’s magic.” Killian nodded his understanding, placing a soft kiss to her lips before pulling back.

“I think that’s a good way to describe this town, love, for it’s where I met you, and that is nothing less than miraculous.” He brought her hands up then and kissed them each lightly before going on. “Though you started in this world alone, Emma, I hope you know that those days are over. So long as you let me, I will be here by your side. It would be my greatest honor.”

“You’re thinking of last night, love.” Killian’s voice in the present startled Emma a little bit and brought her back to this moment.

“How did you know that, sleepy head?” He smiled before opening his eyes, and Emma felt her heart nearly stop. He was way too good looking for her sanity.

“Your pulse was beginning to pick up. I’m assuming you were getting to the part where things escalated in the kitchen.”

Emma couldn’t help but blush at his words. What Killian meant was that after his profoundly touching words, Emma had jumped on him, closing the distance between them and showing him with her body what her words couldn’t yet seem to say. They’d made love all through her little house, and it had ended here, in the comfort of her bed, a place she had no interest in leaving. The thought that they had to soon to get back to the tent brought a frown to her face.

“I think we should throw the competition. I want lazy Sundays with you.” Killian’s hands tightened around her as he brought her in closer and kissed her.

“In time we shall have as many lazy Sundays as you might want, love. But I rather like the idea of you winning that dish at the end of this and being the Queen of this town. Perhaps then I can convince you to make me your King.”

Emma felt a rush of warmth move through her. His hints at a long and happy future together for the two of them always brought such reactions, and Emma was just a moment away from saying she loved him when he pulled back the blanket and hopped out of bed. All thoughts then flew from Emma’s mind as she looked at her very good-looking (okay downright delicious) boyfriend completely naked and coming around to her side of the bed. He gently picked her up, but it still pulled a little yelp from her.

“Killian? Where are we going?” The low rumble of laughter in his chest reverberated through her.

“We’re on a tight schedule love. If you want to get to the taping on time, we should probably share a shower.” Well, she certainly wasn’t going to argue with that idea. In fact, Emma had a feeling she was going to thoroughly enjoy this start to her morning.

……………

“It’s so disappointing that I can’t just make chocolate chip cookies,” Belle huffed out loud as she mixed a very complex mixture around in her bowl. “If they’re good, they should be allowed.”

“Technically they are,” Emma replied, trying to be helpful.

“Oh really, because when a judge says, and I quote ‘if any one even thinks to provide me with a run of the mill chocolate chip variety I will throw it away,’ that seems like maybe it’s not the best course of action.” Emma understood that the frustration in Belle’s tone wasn’t for her. It was squarely aimed at Mr. Gold.

“I’m surprised you’re not making them just to spite him.” Mary Margaret’s comments had Belle pausing, as if considering whether to do just that before waving the idea away.

“He’s not worth losing this over. So everyone can just deal with these turtle cookies.”

Emma laughed, because she highly doubted any one would be ‘dealing with them.’ Loving them was a more probable outcome. Emma had tasted these cookies of Belle’s at more than one gathering, and they were spectacular. Emma meanwhile focused on her two types of batter before her. Her book for this weekend was actually a play, Romeo and Juliet. To incorporate the story, Emma was relying on word play and a meticulously thought out design for her presentation.

Instead of the Capulet family fighting against the Montague clan, it was the Cappuccinos versus the Macadamia cookies. As she scooped the chilled dough onto her trays, she made sure each ball was completely uniform before baking and set the timer for thirteen minutes, the exact time needed for both types of dough. Then, while those were cooking, she made two types of drizzled glaze for decoration. Each cookie variety now had it’s own ‘sigil’ to represent it’s cookie family. The cappuccinos (who were a chocolate base with the espresso added in) were to receive a white chocolate frosting to create their intricate ‘C’ designs, while the Macadamias were getting a red velvet inspired glaze to make red ‘M’s.

The tray Emma designed to set them all up on had individual stands to keep the cookies upright and turned as if in battle with each other. She also was making extra cookies, to allow for some broken pieces (like casualties in the war between the families). All in all, the design was a pretty amazing reenactment of the conflict between the two houses, and when she was finally done setting everything up, she heard a low whistle.

“Damn, that is gonna be hard to compete with.” David’s comment pulled Emma’s attention to the man himself and his display, which lacked the same intricacies but by no means looked bad.

“If I know Emma, they taste better than they look.” Mary Margaret’s compliment brought a happy excitement to Emma’s chest. She liked being good at this, hell she was putting in enough effort, and had been baking for so long that she should hope she was a capable baker.

David and Mary Margaret’s comments though, sparked a memory of talking with her friends this morning. Killian and Emma arrived at the big white tent with about fifteen minutes to spare, and Mary Margaret, Belle and Ruby had already been in attendance. All it had taken was one look at Mary Margaret to know there was something up, and the friends moved to the far part of the lawn, which was far away from prying eyes and nosey neighbors to talk all about it.

Last night Mary Margaret and David had spent a bit of time together, just as friends Mary Margaret insisted, though Emma was highly suspect of that. Over the course of their evening walk through town, they’d learned a lot about each other, and Mary Margaret found out much more about the nature of David’s relationship with Catherine.

It turned out that the Nolans and the Parkers had known each other for decades, and while David and Catherine were friends as kids, they’d grown apart until a family reunion a few years ago. David had seen the differences in Catherine then, but had pressures from his family to try and make a union between the two families work. He’d also had a fondness for the girl Catherine once was. David didn’t know all the particulars, but surely something had happened to make her the way she was now, and he had tried to be patient and support her. Still, recently, he’d come to accept that marriage to Catherine would be settling for less than love, and he didn’t want to think that he would end up unhappy like his parents were.

This was what Emma thought of as the final minutes counted down for the challenge, and she considered what all the implications could be of such words. David and Mary Margaret had a tangible spark between them, and there was certainly interest on both sides. Now the two just needed to be brave and try and push forward. Easier said than done though, because from what Emma could tell, they were both very slow movers. She wanted to talk to Killian about this to see if he knew anything, but they had a judging to face and any inquiry would have to wait.

As expected, Emma’s cookies were a big hit winning her the title of star baker for the weekend, but there were some weaker showings for sure including Ella, who after a lack luster first day was probably the one who would be going home. Ella though was unfazed and even a little cheerful at the prospect, and Emma could only assume it was because this was a lot of effort and responsibility to take on as a mother and someone expecting another child. When the judges did decide to let her go, she had no regret or resentment in her eyes, and the farewell was easy. Things went almost perfectly until Emma walked past Catherine giving her day’s end interview.

“This competition has been good for one thing: opening my eyes to how trivial this town and the people who live here are. My goal now is to win if just to keep the others from doing so. America should see that this isn’t just the happy go lucky place you’ve all made it out to be, and despite what you guys have put out there, this place isn’t perfect. It’s actually rather hellish.”

Emma considered Catherine’s cold words, and saw that the woman truly hated this place, leading her to believe that perhaps Archie’s words had been right, and David’s concerns were merited. Something had happened to her to make her this disdainful. It wasn’t Emma’s job to figure it out, but her heart still went out to Catherine, even if she had made a habit of cruelty towards Emma and her friends. Emma could only hope that Catherine came to terms with whatever lay in her past, and if she would be happier away from this town, that she had the strength to go. There was one thing for certain though - no way Catherine was winning this competition.

“Quite an interesting day we’ve had, love” Killian said to Emma, his words filled with hidden meaning that only the two of them could know but his gaze moved past Emma. “And it seems love might be in the air for more than one party under this big white tent.”

Emma looked to see David and Mary Margaret chatting happily and Robin speaking with Regina as well, but when Emma turned back, Killian only had eyes for her and he looked at her like she was everything.

“I think that has less to do with the tent and more to do with this town. You didn’t see a lot of happy couples meet on the old show,” Emma quipped and Killian chuckled at that.

“Perhaps you’re right. Happy then that we are on this new one.” Killian reached for her hand, and the zing of pleasure that shot through Emma had her catching her breath. They stayed connected for only a moment before letting go, but it was enough to cause a happy hum of pleasure in Emma.

“You know, we never did get to watch that movie last night…” Killian smirked at Emma’s comment.

“Is this your way of inviting me over again, love?” She nodded.

“I liked waking up to you this morning, and I have a feeling it would vastly improve my Monday.”

“Then maybe we should make a habit of it,” Killian proposed with a new found gravel infiltrating his tone.

“I’d like that,” Emma confirmed.

Before they could say much more, Emma was called to fulfill her exit interview. As she spoke about the weekend and her title of star baker, she caught Killian’s eyes across the tent and truly marveled at how things could change so quickly. In his gaze she saw the promise of a magical evening, and Emma knew that she could trust him to deliver. There was still so much unspoken between the two of them, but they had time because this time Emma wasn’t running. Instead she was walking towards what she thought just might be a happily ever after come to life.

Post-Note: I wanted a scene this week of Killian’s ‘sacrifice’ because it mirrors how he’s always sacrificing himself for Emma without the ridiculous levels of pain I get on the show. Here we get protective, fall on your own sword Killian without the hysteria. I hope that you guys enjoyed, and I appreciate all the lovely feedback and the continued support. You guys are awesome, and I just hope you continue to like the story!

#captain swan #captain swan au #captain swan fic #cs modern au #cs fic #cs ff #cs au #cs mc #emma swan #killian jones #the whole freaking ouat cast really #there's a lot of people in retrospect #ouat au #just a taste au #just a taste 3 #great storybrooke baking show #seriouslyhooked repost

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buttonholedlife · 5 years ago

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10 House & Techno Artists to Enjoy in 2020|EDM Identification

Photos Credit: Addiction Digital Photography As home as well as techno remain to reign as being one of the prevailing powers in the setting, climbing stars are actually creating an

effect with new audios and also remarkable sets.There's certainly that the development of your home as well as techno setting over the previous few years has actually performed what seems to be to be actually an ever-increasing growth to the top. Leading the charge are actually renowned artists as well as renowned tags that have recorded the hearts of many around the entire world and also changed more en route. While the standard-bearers of the setting remain to drive your house and also techno sound ahead in a relentless method, rising artists have sculpted out their very own allotment of the setting with unique designs and takes as well.Now, with the brand-new year grabbing heavy steam it is actually time to make some forecasts on who with the rising ability is going to be making a primary effect on our home as well as techno setting in 2020 (as well as hopefully past). Band in as well as begin scrolling to locate out that we experience you ought to be maintaining a close ear tuned to this year!

10 Home & & Techno Artists to Watch in 2020

Barraging coming from the creatively wealthy setting of The big apple Metropolitan Area, Tyler Morris aka Westend shown up with a blazing internal fire as well as an all-natural skill that would certainly make a quite excellent smudge on the tech-house scene. Along with the early as well as on-going support of labels like Container Of Cats and also Audiophile XXL, it ought to happen as no shock that he will rapidly be actually gathered up due to the loved Dirtybird brand discharging dance flooring heating systems that consist of "Do not Cease," "Nakey," and also "Detonate" with John Summit.Dim Mak as well as Club Nightclub have actually even come to be privy to his natural potential to provide people what they really want, setting him up for an amazing breakout year along with club-ready paths that include" Friend Area "(CCD), and "Goin Up" (Dim Mak ). What helps make Westend's popular music therefore delectable to our home songs masses is actually surely due to the modest feelings combined with enjoyable and cool beats making him a supporter favorite to record at occasions like the annual Dirtybird Campout.In enhancement, he recently ruled the remarkable Avant Gardner stage with Martin Ikin as well as Fisherman, additional solidifying his task as a mainstay in our valuable home songs area. Along with the that's that of the market precisely promoting this much more than worthy celebrity, you may wager that our experts have merely yet started to view what Westend invites establishment for the future!-- Maria Qrion is just one of the best faces on the proficient roster of Anjuna musicians but has actually quickly strengthened her place in the centers of several in the Anjunafamily. Knowing to play popular music at a very early grow older while being actually brought up in Sapporo, Japan, she has because moved to the Gulf Location and also her occupation has actually truly taken off ever since.Something that brings in Qrion's songs stick out from other musicians in our home and techno setting is her ability in developing sensational soundscapes by layering organic and digital factors together. Capturing listeners off their shoes with each authentic release and also remix, she is actually found the perfect formula to yank at our heartstrings time and also time again.Last year was actually a truly massive one for Qrion on the launch face with EPs like Sine Surge Party

but it is difficult to overlook her performances at well-known shows also. She took show business at Team Treatment Weekender, ABGT350, and also very most lately participated in a number of bent on Groove Voyage Miami to start the years off in the greatest means achievable. Don't reconsider Qrion this year, she'll most definitely blow your mind.-- Grant Rebūke What do you obtain when you blend future-forward residence as well as techno along with music elements tweezed straight from the early '90s rave age? The solution can be found in the type

of Rebūke. Taking a sound that initially stole the gaze of house and techno legend Jamie Jones with the launch of"Along Came Polly"in 2018, future would certainly enable the monitor to become called the last Crucial New Tune for Pete Tong on Broadcast 1. From that minute on, the Irish multiplied Rebūke has been actually invited along with open upper arms as well as has ended up being one of the field's most promising stars.With what several would certainly describe as an unusual as well as nonconformist design, our team see something thus refreshing putting out in almost the only thing that he makes. Rebūke is actually simply impossible to disregard. That being actually mentioned, Drumcode as well as Dirtybird are no morons when it comes to seeing star premium, and also soon Rebūke would certainly create but one more opinion along with Jump Ship(Dirtybird )featuring stick out path "The Water pipes"and Discompose( Drumcode), a three-track astonishment that warps the thoughts with excitable technicians and downing basslines.If you have however to record this guy in activity, possess no concern due to the fact that Rebūke's Rave Broadcast has actually obtained you dealt with. Including a number of his greatest events to date, Rebūke shows off his capabilities while verifying that being different is the essential to unlocking results and level of popularity. Communicating coming from private experience, I had the terrific option to

catch him opening for Veggie Velour in Atlanta georgia and I left behind a dedicated follower, moved due to the raw and also sideways creative thinking that maintained my mandible on the flooring the whole time.-- Maria If you have not presently began listening to the noises stemming from Codes You best start today. This New York-based musician delivers his years of adventure as a DJ to the phase no matter where he goes as well as could be consistently found cutting out live during the course of his collections that are actually teeming with strongly curated tracks.We have actually been actually transfixed and also embeded an effective groove ever before considering that we heard his Bumps EP on Psycho Disco back in 2016. Ever since he is actually beautified labels like Dirtybird, IN/ ROTATION, and Country Nightclub with some keep tracks of that our company just can not obtain sufficient of like "one hundred %Skill-sets"and the cash EP.Additionally, Codes has likewise packed the dancefloors at festivities like Beyond Paradise SoCal and also Launch procedure NYE to reveal off his unique stylings. And also if Codes 'songs as well as performances weren't enough to satiate you, then his capabilities as a tastemaker are going to give up also more appetizing tunes along with his label Holy Molé that released in 2013. It is actually very clear additional than ever before that it is actually Codes' opportunity to sparkle, thus be sure to find him in 2020 given that you won't regret it!-- Give Some of our favored discovers in 2015 was progressive master Dezza who took us to a state of electronic bliss with his stunning audio layout. While he might have meddled other closely associated categories like hypnotic trance, it was his releases in your house music realm that definitely protruded as one thing unique like "Natural honey," "Cold weather Outside "with Julian Gray, as well as" Hope Weaver" along with My Friend.Adding to the mix, Dezza took the reins of the guest mix on Above & Beyond's Group Therapy Radio to display his skill-sets as a tastemaker along with one on ASOT as effectively. He also crossed the pool to take the phase at

ASOT 900 in Utrecht as well as made his United States debut in Chicago at Trance Identification 10 that left a lasting impression.Riding the surge of excellence into the brand new decade, Dezza has proceeded to improve his impressive catalog of songs by returning to Colorize with the launch of" Close Your Eyes "previously this month. If you perform the quest for a clean face in the dynamic property world to acquire down to on the dancefloor in 2020, look no more than Dezza as he'll certainly supply.-- Grant In 2014 saw the increase of a number of musicians

in the bass property scene however couple of stole our centers very like Wenzday carried out. Birthed as well as increased in the Bay Area she polished her skill-sets behind the decks as an accessible style DJ before strengthening her unique style of house songs. Those years have since returned as her functionalities have actually become well-known for taking crowds on an enthusiastic trip through an assortment of styles.While her vibrant sets have brought in dancefloors move she's backed it up with an arsenal of contagious songs too. Wenzday's Heartbreak Property EP was a standout release on Insomniac Records 'IN/ ROTATION and also she adhered to that up with the Demons Dancing EP that "Daily"that actually aided close out the decade right.When Wenzday isn't responsible for the decks at festivals like Nocturnal Heaven, Lost Lands, or even a Room Yacht-hosted program, she is actually working nonstop along with her brother Dack Janiels on their cumulative 40ozCult. If 2019 specified show business of what was in outlet in the new decade coming from her, expect this increasing superstar to remain to create an influence in the bass house scene for years to follow.-- Grant John Summit has actually been among the hottest titles in our home popular music scene in recent months. With roots in house popular music's neighborhood of Chicago, John Top's music possesses a certain groove as well as percussive drive that has received

him observed through a few of the biggest gamers in the industry.His rise began when Dirtybird included"Touch off"along with Westend on the Dirtybird BBQ: Obtain Roasted compilation in 2019. Ever since, John

Peak has collaborated with tags like Toolroom, Repopulate Mars, Solotoko, This Ain't Bristol, as well as Farris Wheel. His design of residence matches effectively along with all of all of them; it's a special dancefloor-ready tech home vibe.After completing 2019 with the release of his Activate EP on Repopulate Mars as well as a New Year 's Eve set at Spybar in Chicago, factors are going to merely be actually much bigger and much better for John Top in 2020. Anticipate even more tour times as well as more groovy technician house from some of the scene's most thrilling up as well as happening artists.-- Michael Los Angeles-based artist RYBO has actually been actually one of the performers we've been actually keeping our ear tuned to for a few years currently after initial hearing his audios that were lost on Desert Hearts. Along with a

lot of releases under his belt on the tag, he's also a constant skin at their standalone celebrations as well as showcases where he is actually become prominent for taking some major energy to the dancefloor.Additionally, RYBO likewise aided co-found Percomaniacs which has been a home for his keep tracks of like "Something New"along with Anabel Englund,"Mi Casa"

along with Lubelski, and"Take Me Away "that was actually another astonishment. He's additionally taken a trip far and wide to play evaluate festivals Northern Nights, Electric Woodland, Ocaso Underground Music Event, and also plenty more.Now, with the brand-new year in complete swing, he is actually wanting to carry much more power to dancefloors with upcoming evaluate festivals like Beyond Paradise SoCal and

group evenings in metropolitan areas consisting of Reno as well as Denver. Stay tuned for his honest release"Someone Like You "with Lubelski and also SOHMI as well as look at several of his top tracks below!-- Give One of the artists who has actually been actually shining brighter than ever as of late is actually Meadow bright. Birthed in the UK today located out of the United States, he has actually been actually grabbing some significant momentum over the past

couple of years along with releases on labels

like Silk Music and also Anjunadeep. Capturing audiences away into the stunning modern soundscapes he generates in the center, tracks like"1992, ""Possibility"along with Nox Vahn, and"Heart "all left behind an enduring impact and also maintained our team returning for even more in an infectious manner.But Marsh isn't just excellent as a result of his studio job, as he has actually likewise stretched his abilities from responsible for the decks also with unforgettable functionalities

. A constant skin at Anjunadeep showcases, he is actually played in metropolitan areas like Goa, London, Chicago, as well as Miami while likewise being selected to play at

Team Treatment Weekender as well as Anjunadeep Explorations as well.Already using higher in the brand new many years with the current release of his most current EP Eu Topos that was only gone down on Anjunadeep, it's crystal clear right now especially that Marsh will be actually one of the driving interject the scene moving ahead. Take a pay attention to some of his

best keep tracks of listed below and don't rest on his collection when he properties in an area near you.-- Give Final, yet most undoubtedly not the very least is actually a dynamic tech residence duo coming from Glasgow that has actually been actually getting some gigantic energy over the past couple of years: Illyus & Barrientos. First collaborating in 2014 over a common interest for house popular music, they promptly attacked a stride along with very early help from tags like Toolroom, Glasgow Underground, as well as Suara.2019 observed Illyus & Barrientos discharge paths like "Scream,""The One,"as well as"Still Defeating"that remain to find their method in to our turnings to now. They also showcased their audio along with a Vital Mix on BBC Broadcast 1 that had plenty of delicious tunes and showed their potentials as tastemakers in the property songs realm.A recurring face in Ibiza throughout the Toolroom Residency last year at Paradise, they were actually an appreciated attraction to see when announced to play in urban areas like San Diego, Chicago, Greater london, as well as Brisbane. Currently, Illyus & Barrientos are steering onward into the new years and we are actually sure they are actually

going to attract also more followers along with each passing time.-- Grant Which property as well as techno musicians do you presume will burst in 2019? Allow our company understand in the opinions!

This content was originally published here.

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nicholerestrada · 6 years ago

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How A Generation Of Sims Players Got Away With Murder

Mortimer Goth settles in to one of the 15 wicker chairs that have suddenly appeared by his lit fireplace. He feels strangely compelled to sit and remain seated, as if guided by an unseen hand, even as the room he’s in grows curiously hotter and hotter. Before he knows it, the chairs around him burst into pixelated flames. He’s on fire! He calls for help, but his wife, Bella, can’t hear him. She’s swimming in circles in their backyard pool, searching fruitlessly for a ladder that doesn’t exist.

For the uninitiated fiddling around their family desktop, the original version of “The Sims” was mostly about nurturing humanlike characters through life’s minutiae. For everyone else, “The Sims” was and is a game about death, about wacky, inconsequential death, about fiery death and watery death, death by starvation and death by electric shock and death by skydiving malfunction ― Mortimer and Bella’s worst recurring nightmare. And as the game evolved over the years, a kind of meta-game has formed around it: a subtle relationship between creative, death-obsessed “Sims” players and the game’s ever-adapting designers, keen on raising the stakes of the simulated lives we so easily ended.

Today, death on “The Sims” can feel harder and harder to come by. But it’s never impossible.

In the scenario above, the deaths of Mortimer Goth and his wife were no accident. They were the result of a human player deciding to set in motion a series of events that would lead to the inevitable demise of digital beings brought to life in a simulation game. That human player could have ushered Mortimer and his wife into a room and removed the door, watching as the Sims starved inside. The player could have prompted the characters to start making a feast with their cooking skill at Level 1, tempting a shoddy oven to burst aflame and engulf them. The player could have even neglected the couple’s guinea pig, only to have Mortimer pick it up and allow the rodent to administer one fatal bite.

But that player chose to cluster highly flammable chairs near the fireplace and hope they caught like tinder, and remove the ladder in the swimming pool once Bella, ignorant of the option of simply lifting herself out, dived in.

Back in the heyday of the game’s first iteration, everyone killed their Sims. I feel confident in stating this even without hard data to back it up: Killing Sims wasn’t exceptional behavior, it was the norm. Just look at the Reddit threads relaying depraved “Sims” activity with comments spooling into the thousands, or this Polygon article, where it is written, “It is a proven fact people love killing off Sims.”

“That was the only enjoyable way to play ‘The Sims’!” Maddy Myrick, 31, told me. She’d responded to my callout on Twitter, asking first-generation “Sims” players to explain the morbid habit of killing a thing you were ostensibly tasked with keeping alive. “Sometimes I would start a new family, convinced that I would let them live. But, inevitably, I quickly became bored with designing their house (which I was never able to finish).”

And so she killed them. Sims have died for less.

One of the most common tactics for killing a Sim, beautiful in its simplicity and effectiveness, is the “murdershed” method, as one “Sims” player described it: the doorless room.

“My favorite thing to do was lure my Sims into a seemingly normal space and then take away its exit,” my colleague Sara Boboltz confessed in a direct message. “So, I’d make a tiny house and take away the door. I’d make a pool and take away the ladder. Make a two-story house, take the stairs. You get it. Sometimes my Sims would be teachers I didn’t like.”

“I made a guy who was a compulsive neatfreak,” Reddit user vsanna wrote in a comment that rose to the top of its thread. “Put him in a really surreal little house with a wedding buffet and a hamster or something, deleted the door. Eventually he went insane from lack of cleanliness and depression over his little rodent friend dying, and starved to death once the banquet rotted. I put the resulting urn in the room. I then repeated an identical scenario several times, always keeping the urns in the room.

“Eventually the tenth iteration of this guy is up all night, every night, terrified of a parade of ghosts of himself.”

Our penchant for serial killing has not gone unnoticed at “Sims” headquarters. According to “The Sims 4” senior producer Grant Rodiek, who’s been with the company since 2005, the latest version of the game registers around 28,000 Sim deaths per day.

“I think [killing Sims is] a way players can express ultimate control over a thing. It’s funny, mischievous, dark, without being grotesque,” Rodiek said. “It’s a kinder, gentler method of using a magnifying glass to burn insects.”

Between life and death in “Sims 4,” there’s still no single path to playing. The vastly open-ended game nudges you toward certain goals — meeting your Sims’ physical needs; securing them a means of making money — but no task or accomplishment is necessarily required.

Rodiek and his colleagues have had a lot of time to analyze the preferences and behaviors of “Sims” players. He’s whittled users down to a handful of types: There are the “aspiring Frank Lloyd Wrights” who love tinkering in the game’s Build mode; the Create-a-Sim artists who painstakingly remodel favorite characters or celebrities in digital form, or the narrative writers who play out classic storylines (think: mysterious new kid, star-crossed lovers, etc.) in Live mode.

“And then you have the sort of people … we call them deviant players,” Rodiek said. “People who like to mess with their Sims, people who like to poke at the system, people who like to have fun and break the game and do weird stuff.” (These categories, I’d add, are not necessarily mutually exclusive.)

In the early years, these players, in an effort to discover all the ways they could ruin their Sims’ lives, might’ve swapped stories with friends about building murder houses and endlessly uppingtheir budgets for DIY torture devices using the “rosebud” money cheat.

As the internet’s capacity to bring people together has evolved since the early 2000s, so have user-created parameters to keep gameplay interesting. Forums hold lists of restrictive challenges, which can involve everything from having one Sim birth 100 babies to re-creating consecutive historical eras with each generation of a family. On YouTube, players show themselves re-enacting “The Hunger Games” or building lengthy mazes meant only to make simulated life harder for their tiny humans.(One Simmer who orchestrated 12 seasons of Sim “Hunger Games” — complete with training days and sporadic gifts of food like apples — was recently hired on by Electronic Arts as an associate producer.)

Over the years, the current base game — there are four total now — is supplemented with expansion packs to provide new ways to play the game — and kill your Sims. Rodiek said it’s the first thing developers plan out with each new expansion, along with new places for your digital hedonists to hook up.

Much-beloved YouTuber “Call Me Kevin” has a series showcasing his comically deadly restaurant in “Sims 4,” where unskilled chefs serve up the sometimes-fatal pufferfish nigiri introduced in the “City Living” expansion pack. It’s the only thing on the menu. Watching him play, you see Sims dining casually together, only to be interrupted when one diner clutches at their throat and falls head-first into their food. He’s amassed quite the graveyard behind the restaurant, complete with a coffin that you can WooHoo in — Sim-speak for sex.

Part of the widespread appeal of killing Sims might be that the actual moments of their demise aren’t particularly disturbing. Generally, dying Sims just drop or crumple to the floor in distress, disappearing altogether in some versions of the game. Coming across a hungry cowplant provides the bizarre and delightful visual of a giant flower consuming a Sim, but there’s no blood or errant limbs left behind. In a fire, Sims might become visibly odorous as their Hygiene levels plummet, but that’s about it — no gore or horror-movie theatrics.

There are some deaths “The Sims” avoids altogether.

“We don’t let toddlers burn to death,” Rodiek said. “That’s just gross. That’s not funny, there’s nothing humorous there. We don’t let dogs burn to death because like, again, that’s gross.”

Eventually, the grim reaper, who can talk to but sadly not have children with Sims, comes to collect your character’s soul, leaving an urn or gravestone in the Sim’s place. The reaper himself has a cellphone or a tablet, ostensibly to process the Sim’s soul, or something. It’s all a little goofy.

The fact that players have long brought Sim death on themselves is all a part of probing the edges of an established world.

Philosophy professor C. Thi Nguyen, who has written extensively about the philosophy of games, likened the act of killing Sims to the innocent phenomenon of “speedrunning,” where players try to complete a given game as fast as possible.

“One of my favorites is a speed run of ‘[Super] Mario [Bros.]’ where you try to get zero points … even though the traditional goal of ‘Mario’ is to max out your points. Trying to get to the end as fast as possible with zero points is actually much harder and much weirder,” he said. “You’re playing the game in an unintended way, which, for some people, I think it makes them feel more creative.”

“The system seems to tell you, ‘Look, the point of this game is to take care of the Sims,’ and all the tools that are given to you are given to you to take care of your Sims,” he said. “So if you want to kill your Sims, you have to do kind of creative and unexpected things and kind of remix the game.”

However, Nguyen said it was also possible that, for the players who like “The Sims” for its narrative possibilities and engage with “the fiction of the game,” explorations of death could have deeper personal significance.

“It may vary from player to player, but I think from talking to a lot of players it’s actually about the creativity of using the system for a new purpose,” he said.

Whatever the explanation, the game’s creators have come to understand that we use “The Sims” not just to simulate life, but to play God. And it’s impacted the way the game has shifted, from “Sims 1” to “Sims 4.”

The first two versions of “The Sims” ― which Rodiek described as “disastrously hard” ― made it easier for the Goths to expire outside of a player’s purview. Direct Sim-on-Sim homicide isn’t possible, so accidents were more often fatal: a grilled cheese that burns down the house, a malfunctioning skydiving simulator, or a fatal shock delivered to a character standing in a puddle during an electric repair. In “The Sims 2,” simply being in the front yard at the exact time a satellite falls to Earth could be the end of a Sim’s brief journey.

But nowadays, compared to “Sims 1” and “Sims 2,” it’s a lot harder to deliberately kill off dear Mortimer and Bella. Anyone coming to “The Sims 4,” the game’s latest version, might notice their characters can now easily hop out of a pool, ladder or not. It’s a change that came with “The Sims 3,” effectively eliminating one of the preferred manners of Sims murder.

“I love how funny and surprising it is to say, ‘Hey, we as a team recognize what you’re doing and, ha-ha, we flipped the switch,’” Rodiek said. The decision was born out of developers’ desire to further up Sims’ intelligence and self-sufficiency with each new version. Players, he said, “got pissed at this.”

“Basically, our thought was if Sims are smarter, and if Sims are less likely to just frickin’ die all the time, well, maybe they’re smart enough to pull their asses out of the pool,” he said, noting that you can still kill them from exhaustion if you build walls around the pool. “They’ll still fart at the wrong time and they’ll still just pass out in a pool of vomit if they’re tired enough and the timing is wrong, but that, at least, is a win for them.”

Now, if you leave them unattended, “your Sims will basically default to neutral,” Rodiek said. Players can worry less about making sure everyone has had a bathroom break or a meal. If you don’t direct your Sim to do it, they’ll likely figure it out themselves.

“Our tagline was, ‘We want to move past peeing,’” he said of shifting Sims’ needs beyond basic survival. “However, for them to really succeed, you have to nurture them. And nurturing your Sims comes from more emotional, higher-level fulfillment.”

Now, Sims have aspirations generally based on interests or specific actions: One Sim might want to become a tech genius, while another wants to become the neighborhood enemy. Fulfilling these wishes results in rewards that make the Sim better.

I’m usually a gentle “Sims” player, nurturing my families into fulfilling home lives and careers, watching as they level up in activities like baking and guitar playing, occasionally tossing in a love affair here and there. For the purposes of this article, though, I set out to kill as many Sims in “Sims 4” as I could.

Not wanting to delete doors and watch my Sims starve, I fell back on faithful killing strategies, like the classic fire scenarios. There were newer tactics I could try, too: In “Sims 4,” even Sims’ emotions, taken to the extreme, can be fatal; their hearts can explode from sheer rage or cease beating from hysterics.

In “Seasons,” the most recent expansion pack, Sims who are skilled in flower arranging can whip up a mysterious plant, the scent of which ages or kills its recipient. A video from website Sims VIP illustrating this particular death demonstrates the cruelty: At first, an elder Sim is pleased to be receiving a gift. But upon realizing his bad luck, he becomes angry, shouting out “Narb!” He wipes his brow, swoons to his knees, and even checks his pulse one last time before the grim reaper arrives.

“Seasons” also allows the possibility of death by freezing or overheating, or getting struck by lightning. New kinds of warnings tip you off to these sorts of ends: The game indicates via a Sim’s “moodlet” that your electronic buddy might die if he doesn’t get out of the blizzard, or change out of his snowsuit during a heat wave, or run in from the thunderstorm.

One of the suggested ways to murder your Sims is through overexhaustion, though once a Sim becomes “uncomfortable,” many actions, like jogging, become unavailable to a player. In “Sims 4,” more Sims simply die of old age than tragically before their time: Age accounts for 30.5 percent of deaths in the game, compared to the 11 percent who die of hunger; the 10.7 percent who drown; or the 10.6 percent who die in a fire, according to statistics provided by Rodiek.

Maybe I’m unpracticed, but I couldn’t murder my Sims. I made one Sim flirt with her husband’s dad in front of her husband, enraging the husband until the spouses became enemies, then nemeses. I had them all fight — illustrated by a cloud of dust and occasional flashes of limb — but it only made them a little dazed. I had them all pee themselves, then installed a shower and had them all walk in on each other, but no one reached the deadly “mortified” level of embarrassment. I made the dad swim in the pool in wintertime, but he kept getting out once he started freezing. Without resorting to the walls-around-the-pool method Rodiek mentioned, I couldn’t play God quite like I used to.

Defeated, I had the enraged husband and wife divorce before closing my game. It seemed only fair. When I opened up “Sims 2,” however, I found that one installation of the “shoddy fireplace” did the trick in no time. My Sims freaked out and wailed, too frantic to obey my requests for them to stand directly in the flames — but the blaze got them in the end.

Electronic Arts

A “shoddy fireplace” did the trick to start a fire in “Sims 2.” The cat, seen in the lower right corner, ended up running away. The fifth household member was swimming in circles in the pool.

Stakes, Rodiek acknowledged during our interview, are what make “The Sims” fundamentally interesting. Making death a part of the game from the start provided those stakes.

“It is really great when people have a Sim that they really care about, and they care about how they orchestrated their life, and they see them raise children, and maybe get a divorce, and then their children grow up and then they die. They go, ‘Oh, man, I could just re-create them, but it will never be that Sim.’”

“Our game is about creating weird, quirky, erratic, strange little humanlike characters that we want you to care about deeply,” he added.

In a perpetual quest, developers hope to keep inching “The Sims” toward a better reflection of real life and death, to keep raising the stakes and allowing customization in ways that matter to players.

In 2016, “Sims” released an update that expanded the possibilities of gender expression among characters, no longer restricting certain hair, makeup or clothing items to one gender or another and allowing players to select whether a Sim could impregnate others or get pregnant, regardless of outward appearance. Similarly, Rodiek said, creators are discussing the possibility of incorporating Sims who are deaf or hard of hearing, blind, or use a wheelchair. To help develop these, the team has been talking to players who have similar experiences.

“In actually talking to these players, talking about how it affects their lives, we’ve been thinking, how can we reflect this in a way that works in our game?” he said. “That’s the stuff we’re actually looking into that we really want to figure out, because it’s scary to get it wrong, but I think it’s so important if we can get it right.”

In terms of death, Rodiek said he could envision developing a kind of long-term, terminal disease within the game from which Sims can’t recover (but, seriously, don’t ask him about it on Twitter, because they’re not making this right now).

“I could see us approaching that in sort of a generic way that we’re not saying that it’s this specific cancer. But we’re basically saying that your Sim has something that can’t be cured and they will die before their time as a result of that,” he said. Maybe, he added, it’d be an option players could toggle on or off.

“I think it’s a reality of life … in a way that is like, yes, it’s real, and yes, it’s sad. But maybe for someone who wants it, it’s cathartic or its interesting and it helps you tell a story,” Rodiek said. “Those are some of the things we’re trying to grapple with and talk to our players about how to get right. And it’s terrifying, but it’s really cool if we could do it.”

Illustration by Tara Jacoby for HuffPost.

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Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/killing-sims-death-murder-ea_us_5adf94dbe4b07be4d4c58fd4

Source: https://hashtaghighways.com/2018/10/28/how-a-generation-of-sims-players-got-away-with-murder/

from Garko Media https://garkomedia1.wordpress.com/2018/10/28/how-a-generation-of-sims-players-got-away-with-murder/

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michaeljtraylor · 6 years ago

Text

How A Generation Of Sims Players Got Away With Murder

Today, death on “The Sims” can feel harder and harder to come by. But it’s never impossible.

And so she killed them. Sims have died for less.

One of the most common tactics for killing a Sim, beautiful in its simplicity and effectiveness, is the “murdershed” method, as one “Sims” player described it: the doorless room.

“Eventually the tenth iteration of this guy is up all night, every night, terrified of a parade of ghosts of himself.”

There are some deaths “The Sims” avoids altogether.

The fact that players have long brought Sim death on themselves is all a part of probing the edges of an established world.

“It may vary from player to player, but I think from talking to a lot of players it’s actually about the creativity of using the system for a new purpose,” he said.

Electronic Arts

A “shoddy fireplace” did the trick to start a fire in “Sims 2.” The cat, seen in the lower right corner, ended up running away. The fifth household member was swimming in circles in the pool.

Stakes, Rodiek acknowledged during our interview, are what make “The Sims” fundamentally interesting. Making death a part of the game from the start provided those stakes.

“Our game is about creating weird, quirky, erratic, strange little humanlike characters that we want you to care about deeply,” he added.

Illustration by Tara Jacoby for HuffPost.

Download

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/killing-sims-death-murder-ea_us_5adf94dbe4b07be4d4c58fd4

from RSSUnify feed https://hashtaghighways.com/2018/10/28/how-a-generation-of-sims-players-got-away-with-murder/ from Garko Media https://garkomedia1.tumblr.com/post/179530072194

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noiseartists · 7 years ago

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The Corrupting Sea- Therapy In Sound

"Libraries gave us power" the Manic Street Preachers used to sing. The internet has given us power too. Meet Jason Lamoreaux. Label owner, journalist, musician.

What is your music about?

In 2015, I was unethically dismissed from a job that I deeply loved and was invested in. As someone who deals on a daily basis with anxiety and depression and has no health insurance, I had to find a way to deal with the fallout that was healthy and not harmful. I had recorded some music around 2007 and had released a single on an Australian compilation, but the album I recorded was lost. So, at the end of 2016, I begin to record again as an outlet for my anxiety and depression. It was, in a way, therapeutic. The results of those first sessions was my third album Symphony Of A Radical. I had shown a few of the tracks to Frank Lenz (Starflyer 59) and he really encouraged me to put them out there.

I think another sort of “inspiration” for my work has been just world events, the insanity of what is happening in my country and the corresponding ignorance of so many in the U.S., and some personal narratives about trying to deal with all of it and find some peace. So, I hope to communicate sound stories that have some narrative freight to them but allow the listener to sort of plug in their own experiences throughout the music.

Musical Work

In 2017, I released a trilogy with the albums Samatta, Resist, and Symphony of a Radical. These were my first releases to go out into the world. I’m 45 years old and I just felt that I had finally found a voice with my music and was able to put myself out there. In my youth, I had too much self-doubt and hesitation, so I suppose my age helps with me not being so worried about what people think.

I think much of what I do is anti-ambient, if that makes sense. So many of my ambient artist friends or ambient artists I read talk about their work in terms of serenity or contemplation or meditation. My music isn’t that. There are tracks where I am struggling to find that but much of my music comes from rage, anxiety, depression, agitation, and conflict. I mean, if you met me, you wouldn’t get this impression from me. I’ve been told that my music is sort of an alter-ego. That’s true, I think. But it’s also my therapy. It’s where I dump the things that aren’t healthy in relationships. I guess I weep into my music in a way.

In terms of the albums, I guess I will leave that to the audiofiles in discussing each one individually. I will say this. The stuff I am producing now has really changed in tone and I think quality. I’m really excited about the release of Somnambulate in Jan/February on Katuktu Collective as well as the Aural Canyon album I’m working on that will hopefully be released later in the year. So two new full-lengths are forthcoming in 2018. I also have two other albums. One is called Reflections and it was mixed and mastered by Paul Saarnak of The Beremy Jets while the other is called System Shift and it was mixed and mastered by Toby Crate Art of The Emerald Down. Both did incredible jobs on the mixes and I can’t wait to find both a home. I also have an EP coming out on Silber Records any day now. It’s in the 5 in 5 series where the artist can only produce 5 minutes of material over the course of 5 tracks. I made 5 one-minute tracks and I think it turned out rather well. I’m happy with it at least.

The most recent development has been a collaboration with Jon Attwood (Yellow6) and Daniel Land (riverrun, Daniel Land and the Painters). We’ve started exchanging stems and things are moving forward. Really excited about how this project turns out. I’ve also started working with Josh Richardson (Flavor Crystals) on a potential ambient album. We will see where that goes.

Tell us about the artists you have worked with

All of the artwork on my albums so far have been my own photos. I really love taking pictures and working with imagery, so I’ve been excited to share my visual work with others in this medium. My dear friend Paul Lewis has designed all the covers using my images and has done an incredible job. I’m currently working with Garett Wood, another friend of mine, who will do the images for the Reflections album. His photography is amazing. I’m also hoping to work with Christy Romanik who has been a favorite photographer of mine for ages. I’m shocked I haven’t used her photos yet. Look up both photographers because their work is just so amazing.

I’m beginning to work with Jeff Ryan (Myopic) who is a Dallas based artist. He is the mind behind the project called Myopic and has been the drummer for St. Vincent, The War on Drugs, and others. He’s currently in The Baptist Generals and Motorcade. I’ll be recording a live video with him for Noise Artists. I’ve also done a remix for City of Dawn who is an ambient artist out of Texas. We are hoping to do some collaborative work. I’m also in the middle of a collaboration with Jon Attwood (Yellow6) and Daniel Land (riverrun, Daniel Land and the Painters). I’m super excited about how these will all turn out. The kind of creative challenges one encounters with others can really push limits and make one think outside one’s box. It’s really exciting.

Two of my newer albums that don’t have labels yet have recently been mixed and mastered by Paul Saarnak and Toby Crate Art. They did an incredible job and I can’t wait for the world to hear those. I’m also working in collaboration with Jon Attwood and Daniel Land. I’m also working with Josh Richardson of Flavor Crystals on something. We will see where that goes.

What are your goals as a band, artist, record label owner, artistically/commercially ?

I think my only goal with The Corrupting Sea has been to record my music and put it out there. Actually constructing the tracks and getting an album out were the beginning. I’m not sure I expected to end up recording more let alone put out 3 albums in one year. Now I’m hoping to play live soon and the live videos with Myopic are sort of the beginning of that process. I started Somewherecold Records for that purpose even though I’ve put out other artists. Then my goal was to put an album out on another label because I couldn’t afford to keep doing it myself, at least not the way I wanted. That will happen beginning next year as Katuktu Collective puts out Somnabulate. It’s been pretty amazing actually and beyond anything I expected in the long run. I guess now I just want to keep going and be able to make my own music. I do have an Aural Canyon album planned for next year as well.

With Somewherecold Records, I simply want to put great music out there for people to support. If only more people would, you know? Running a label is fraught with instability simply because of how people view art and music now. Either people have no disposable income, or they just refuse to buy music anymore. It’s really a sad situation. I’m always shocked when artists do art for a living because it’s so incredibly difficult to get people to support artists these days.

Who would you want as a dream producer and why?

John Fryer. He’s worked with so many bands I admire and I would love to see what he does with my darker stuff. He’s just a consummate musician and, having talked to him, I feel he would respect my sound and not try to take over.

What are you trying to avoid as a band, artist, label owner?

I guess being too repetitive as an artist. I don’t want to do that for sure.

As a label owner? I guess I’m going with the flow there. I really would love not to go into massive debt, which I can’t do. It would simply mean the end of the label if people don’t purchase music.

Explain your songwriting process, who starts? How does it evolve, is it organic? Is it discussed?

Well, since this is my project, it’s just me and my instruments. Basically, I hunt for sounds and textures that inspire me or lead me to a basis for a track and then I build from there. This can be the manipulation of standard midi tracks, found sounds that I use as samples, or guitar lines and melodies. I like when things just flow. Of course, they don’t always, but I mostly come up with very improvised free form work. I describe myself as a sound shaper rather than a musician.

In 2017 there is no new or old music to a 17 year old with internet access. Discuss.

I guess that, what you mean by this is, young people have everything at their fingertips. Well, I think there are pros and cons to this entire issue. I guess the best thing about this is that corporate radio can’t tell people what to listen to anymore. Radio stations that are broadcasting through FM or AM are kind of obsolete. There are, of course, a few exceptions like college radio stations that aren’t shackled by the likes of Clear Channel. There are also great online stations like DKFM (of which I am a part) that really allow DJ’s to shape their shows and play what they feel is the best new music out there. In this way, listeners can find programs and DJ’s that introduce them to music they seem to like on a consistent basis. Stations that play the same crap over and over again need to be phased out and, in my opinion, people should just stop listening to those stations. The cons are a product or consequence of the pros. Yes, we have access to everything but that is also a down side. There is just so much great music out there that finding artists can be like finding a needle in a haystack. Further, I think that young people have really lost touch with the wonderfulness of the album. Artists shape their tracks into a whole project, not simply singles, but streaming culture really has gotten young people away from listening to whole albums and really taking in the entire message of an artists in that period of time.

Lastly I would say that people have all but stopped buying music. Streaming services are killing music really. The one thing any fan can do that is good for a musician or band is buy their CDs, Cassettes, Vinyl, and Merch. It does WONDERS. This idea that music should be free is a horrible product of the degradation of art and artists and people can only fight that by buying the music directly from the artists or labels they are on, especially if the label is small.

Why do you make the music you make? Is it in you? Is it a choice?

Like I said above, my music has been my therapy. I think it was in me all along and I really didn’t know. It was strange once I actually let it out there. It was like a flood of music came out of me. I have this really strong memory of myself when I was about 17 years old. I was at my house alone and sitting at my parents’ upright piano. I would hold down the sustain pedal and just play chords and let the reverb tail just fade out. I would close my eyes and just soak in it. I had never heard of ambient music at the time. I’d never heard Eno or any of the jazz, ambient artists prior to this period. This would have been around 1989 or 1990. I’d been learning bass and guitar for some time now but no one ever told me that what made me feel most at home musically could be music. In hindsight, I really wish I would have recorded that stuff and went with it on my own but I had no conceptual framework or know how in terms of recording anything.

As I got older, I encountered stuff like shoegaze music through my writing at Somewherecold. This would be like 2002 and after. I’m a late-comer to the scene. Anyway, there’s a track on The Prayer Chain’s Mercury album that really sparked my interest in ambient music in a way I hadn’t encountered before. Eric Campuzano from The Prayer Chain and The Lassie Foundation and so many other bands came out with his solo project Charity Empressa and I had found my musical home in a way. Experimental and ambient, Charity Empressa opened a musical world to me that I had not encountered before. I started buying all of Eno’s albums and so much more. For me, this is the awakening my 17-year-old self longed for. It wasn’t until 2006 or so that I started to explore my own creativity in this regard and now I’m going at it full force. I suppose it’s no longer a choice but an urge or a longing to express myself.

Describe your palette of sound.

Well, I work mainly with drones and guitar sounds. My palette runs the range of found sounds to flat, untextured drones. Whatever serves my expression at the time, I will use and attempt to shape into something a listener can experience. As I’ve moved forward, I’ve gained more tools to work with. For example, my earliest work was all guitar and bass. I owned no pedals. I only used VSTs with the guitars. In order to create drones, I would detune a guitar or mute strings and then blow fans on the guitar to make a long, droning rumble or ambient sound. I think it worked well and people can’t really tell that’s what I’m doing when it’s happening. Since then, I’ve had a really cheap midi-controller, which I used on my first three albums. Now I’ve upgraded that along with my DAW. I’ve also gained some guitar pedals along the way. More are forthcoming. It’s simply a matter of finding the funds and moving forward. The thing is, I know what I want and how much I want. I’m being very, very selective in the pedals I attain because it can become a financial black hole and I don’t want that to happen. I’m just not in a place financially for that to happen. So, as I’ve become more and more familiar and attune to my own sound, I have targeted particular pieces of equipment for my sound arsenal. We will see what 2018 brings in that regard.

Your music is instrumental, would you like guest vocalists? Who would be your dream guest vocalist?

I have always toyed with the idea of having someone come in and lay some kind of vocal, spoken or sung, over the top of my crazy compositions. Seeing what a vocal artist would do would be fascinating. Some dream vocalists would be Rachel Staggs, Krissy Vanderwoude, Justin Bowsher, Daniel Land, Rebecca Scott, Christie Simpson, Kristie Capua, Preston Maddox, and Adrienne Snow.

Which of your albums are you the most proud of? Why?

I think, of the ones currently out, Samatta is my favorite because it has tracks I like to return to more often. I think “I Love You Over the Moon” and “An Ode to Paul Saarnak on His 44th” are my favorite tracks of the trilogy. They both express a brightness that usually escapes me or I find ethereal as I try to grab it. I also think that my ability to record and use my tools had made a rather large advance with that album. Given that I’ve completed six albums, I think my favorite (which everyone else hasn’t heard yet) is the one I did for Katuktu Collective. It’s called Somnabulate and I can’t wait for everyone to hear it. All of the new albums have different flavors to them, so we will see what people think once they are out in the open.

Explain the story behind the trilogy?

The trilogy of albums I put out happened in a very organic way. I most certainly didn’t plan a trilogy from the get go. In fact, I thought Symphony of a Radical would be it. I never imagined I would set out on a journey that would span three albums. Part of that had to do with the fact that Symphony was in another person’s hands and that person was supposed to mix and master it. Well, it never happened for whatever reason. While I waited, the tracks for Samatta kind of coalesced and I decided to give that album life first while I waited. I taught myself the DIY version of mixing and mastering and put that out there. There was a good reception and while that was sort of getting into people’s hands, Resist came together. I call the albums a trilogy because they really do speak to a 2 year period in my life as one thing happened after another. Getting let go from a job I adored, seeing my country devolve into a racist mess, watching family members make horrifying decisions politically, coming to terms with massive financial instability, and so much more fueled all three of these albums. They are all kindred spirits in a way. Somnambulate, my next album, feels so different to me because it is, I don’t know, coming from a different place. I guess some people will say it sounds exactly like me. Most artists hear different things about their music than the fans. I think the sound files I sent about each individual album really complete the picture so I will stop here.

Thank you so much for taking the time to feature my project. It really means a lot to me.

Your presence on the web

Social media: I really only have a Facebook page for the recording project. That might be a bit odd and I need to remedy that as more people listen to my music.

https://www.facebook.com/TheCorruptingSea/

Video: Currently, The Corrupting Sea videos are housed at the Somewherecold Records Youtube Channel.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgxWQV9Ty9ZbqtxDK3zr5TA

Listening / buying your music: You can find the 2017 trilogy at the Somewherecold Records’ Bandcamp page.

https://somewherecoldrecords.bandcamp.com/

I did an interview with When the Sun Hits not long ago: http://whenthesunhitsblog.blogspot.com/2017/09/interview-jason-lamoreaux-of-corrupting.html

Where to find your work?

All of my current releases can be found at the Somewherecold Records’ Bandcamp page: https://somewherecoldrecords.bandcamp.com/

However, I have future releases coming out from Silber Records, Katuktu Collective, and Aural Canyons. All of these are amazing labels I think people should be paying attention to and, well, you can keep an eye out for my own releases soon. https://katuktucollective.bandcamp.com/

https://silbermedia.bandcamp.com/

https://auralcanyonmusic.bandcamp.com/

#Ambient #Shoegaze #USA

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