#my favorite is henrietta personally! last i checked

[buckle-your-pants]

Someone should make a tournament style poll where every round you have to pick your favorite of 2 friends/prisoners and in the end we find The Ultimate Favorite

Not me. But someone

[crazy-loca-blog]

Casey Valentine: About Her Present

A/N: Did the inspiration suddenly hit me after I had no idea what to do about this because I had never thought about it before? It did. Set somewhere between the end of Book 3 and right after it just because otherwise I wouldn't have had things to say about Casey's future. Part of the @openheartfanfics "Meet My MC" event.

Meet My MC || About Her Past

If Casey had to describe her three-year residency at Edenbrook, she'd say it's been intense, life-changing and unexpected. Time went by so fast and so many things happened in so little time, that quite often she still thinks all of this is just a dream.

Sometimes she still doesn't believe that she survived a betrayal, a trial, and an assasination attempt. She could even write a book about it, but keeping some of these stories to herself and the people around her seems wiser.

She passed her boards with flying colors and now she's ready to face a new challenge: becoming the new head of the Diagnostics Team. Ethan offered her the job after he was offered the Chief of Medicine position by Naveen, and even though at first she didn't know what to answer, she knew that Ethan would have never offered her the position if he considered her incapable of excelling at it.

And you can tell she already has a lot of plans for the team, even though none of them implies filling the spot that she'll leave. The work dynamic with Harper and Tobias is amazing, and they all think they don't need another member at the moment.

She's also glad that her salary will allow her to get rid of her med school debt sooner than she expected, even though she knows what she'll do with part of her first payment: she'll get Esme a ticket to visit her parents in El Salvador. This is something she's been thinking about since she knew her story. She knows how it feels growing up without parents, so if she can make a difference on the life of her intern, she will.

The only condition for her to accept her new position as head of the team was to be able to set some time apart to work in the free clinic. This is one of the most rewardings experiences for her and it reminds her why she decided to become a doctor in the first place, so she doesn't want to lose that.

When Casey first arrived in Boston, it was all about the medicine. She wanted to learn from the best. Little did she know that the same guy she admired as a doctor would become the love of her life.

Everything began as a mentor and mentee relationship, but after a few months it became something else. And it's been that way for the last three years.

Their relationship has been... interesting, to say the least. They both had different reasons to fight their feelings for each other (Ethan's morals on one side, and Casey's previous heartbreaks on the other side), but apparently when two people are meant to be, things are just inevitable. And they seem to be inevitable.

After the longest time and many highs and lows, they made things official a few weeks ago. And they're over the moon about this. Casey doesn't remember being this happy before.

However, she wants to do things right this time. She has always felt her previous relationships failed because she made too many impulsive and bad decisions, and she really wants things to work this time... mostly because she has recently discovered admitted to herself that this is the first time that she is completely and utterly in love.

Yeah, she thought she had been in love before... but after meeting Ethan and understanding her feelings towards him, she just knew she had been so wrong in the past! She never felt like this about anyone before.

Do people talk about them? All the time. Does she care? Not at all. She felt uncomfortable about rumors at first, but Casey knows that people have been talking about them for the last three years, and she doesn't care anymore. She's just too busy trying to be happy to care about what people say about them.

However, to avoid any potential conflicts at work, they both have decided to keep their relationship as private as possible. And so far it's working.

If Casey learned something about friendship during her residency, is that you never know when someone may betray you. Luckily, she has few friends, but they're the best.

Luckily, they all happen to be brilliant in their areas of expertise, so they all are geting great job offers to stay in Boston. And none of them is planning to leave.

This is awesome for several reasons, but mainly because they don't need to find a new place to live or a new roomie, which is a relief for everyone, and because they won't need to schedule annual reunions to catch up on their lives... they can keep having their daily or weekly ones.

She is also lucky to keep working with people she admires a lot: Tobias and Harper. She still can't consider them her friends, but they're certainly on their way to become more than colleagues.

Outside Edenbrook, Casey also keeps in touch with her med school besties: Tracy and Lauren. They both are doing their residencies at Mayo Clinic, so the chances they visit each other any time soon are very low. However, Facetime helps them to keep in touch at least once a week... and Tracy is getting married very soon in New York, so Casey is counting the days to see her girls after all this time (maybe she should tell them that now she might be taking a plus one with her?).

Even though the original plan was that Oliver would be going to Boston with Casey, things changed after grandma Marie passed away and Oliver decided to stay back home.

The twins had never been apart, so this has been a whole new experience for them. Not only it has helped them to become their own person, but now their relationship is stronger than ever.

They keep in touch on a daily basis. They don't talk on the phone often, but they are constantly messaging each other during the day.

Oliver also visits her every two or three months. And Casey's heart feels so full of love when his brother has the chance to share with her extended family, just because they all get along really well. In fact, they've already set a tradition: every time that Oliver is in town, they make plans to spend a day at Martha's Vineyard.

Casey goes back to Virginia every summer; however, the end of her her residency might mean that this is the last time in a while that she'll be able to spend more than two weeks at home. But that's okay... as long as she has a few days to recharge her energy by being in touch with nature and with her roots, she'll survive.

Of course, she's dying to take her friends there. Ethan has already visited and he won't admit it yet, but he's become a fan of that place. He completely gets why Casey loves it so much.

The idea of returning home after the end of her residency was tempting, Casey actually considered it at some point, but she'd be lying to herself if she says her heart is not in Boston.

Going from Virginia to Massachussets was a 180 degree change in Casey's life. She traded the mountains, the lakes and the river for skyscrapers, Seaport and Boston Common. Of course, this also meant making some life adjustments and discovering new hobbies.

She finally managed to balance work and life (something that had been impossible at med school). And even though Donahue's is the place to go after the long shifts, brunch on weekends with the gang are definitely her favorites.

Bryce, Rafael, and Ethan introduced her to the gym life at Edenbrook. At first, she only trained with the guys, but now she goes a lot by herself too, especially when she feels too stressed or when she needs to disconnect from the world. However, when it comes to release anger, boxing with Jackie is most definitely the option at the top of her list.

Sienna has taught her the art of vision boards to achieve her goals, but she's far from mastering it. in fact, any person who sees her vision boards would think they were made by a 5 year old kid. At least she tries (and she may even have reached a goal or two).

She also volunteers with Rafael once a week at his community center, even though she still can't learn how to dance samba. Sometimes, they also recruit interns, residents and attendings to perform some routine health checks to whoever wants them. These events are a hit... handsy Henrietta can't deal with so many hot doctors at the same time!

Life has taught her a lot since she arrived in Boston. Third-year resident Casey is a completely different person than the girl who assisted a thoracotomy on her first day at Edenbrook.

Luckily she hasn't stopped being her best self; however, after the incident, she felt that life was giving her a second chance. And she's been making the most of it since then.

She has everything to be happy: a dream job, the best brother in the world, a group of friends that became her extended family, and a "new" boyfriend who has been with her through thick and thin during the last three years.

She still deals with some PTSD, but a good therapy and understanding that this is perfectly normal while trying to learn to deal with it helps a lot.

Now she's ready to make a real difference in health care, the one that she dreamed about making in her intern year.

Tags: @adiehardfan @izzyourresidentlawyer

[astouract]

The Smell of Soil — Chapter 1

Synopsis: Small town market-owner Loki meets his new neighbor, and she’s not the most normal person he’s ever met.

Words: 717

Warnings: none… yet

Sundays were Loki's favorite day. He closed the market every Sunday to allow himself a day off, and those days were usually spent relaxing in the garden, tending to his fruits and veggies.

"Son of a bitch!"

Well, maybe gardening was not so relaxing.

Loki threw down his gloves and got to his feet, cursing whatever retched animal had the nerve to not only eat his strawberries, but completely trample the plants. He'd worked so hard to grow them, too.

With a dramatic sigh, he lifted a hand to run through his hair. A soft cluck came from beside him, and he shook his head at his smallest hen.

"I know, Henrietta. It's such a shame. At least the tomatoes seem unscathed, don't you think?"

Another soft cluck, but this time further away. Loki wiped his palms on his black jeans and turned to head inside, but what he saw stopped him in his tracks.

Just down the road, at the little stone house that had been on the market for over a year, a woman was struggling with the "for sale" sign. She looked to be about his age and she was putting up a good fight, but it looked like the sign was winning.

He chuckled to himself and started off down the street, checking behind him to make sure that none of his hens were following.

"Norns!" She hissed, delivering a strong kick to the wooden post. "What the hell do they expect me to do with this?"

Loki waved as he stepped into the property, and the woman took an immediate step back. "Need some help?"

The silence hung in the air, each second more uncomfortable than the last as she just stared at him.

"I live just down there," He paused to point, "and I was working in my garden when I saw you fighting with the sign. If it counts for anything, I think you were winning." He flashed his most charming smile, but she didn't budge.

"I'm Loki." He extended a hand and she jumped, as if just snapping back into reality. "And it looks like we're neighbors."

She shook his hand as if she was almost afraid of him, and he cleared his throat in an attempt to mask his own discomfort. He hoped he didn't look as put off by her presence as she did his.

"My name's (Y/N)." She offered a fleeting, polite smile, tucking a tuft of stray hair behind her ear. "Thank you for the offer, but I think I'll just head inside.

"Are you sure? It should only take a moment."

(Y/N) looked from Loki, to the sign, and back again. She visibly released a heavy sigh and nodded in defeat. "All right, I suppose I could use some help."

Loki grinned, taking the few steps over to the yard sign. He crouched down, and in one swift movement pulled the wooden post out of the ground.

"Where should I put it?" He asked, holding the sign tightly to his chest. It was a lot heavier than it looked from over there.

(Y/N) spun on her heels, surveying the area. "I'm actually not sure, I haven't had a chance to see the property yet."

"You bought a house that you haven't—"

"I suppose you could lean it against the house, over here." She led him to the right side of the cottage, and Loki spared a glance into the backyard.

It was rather overgrown, with dozens of bees buzzing happily from one cluster of bright flowers to the next. Her shed looked like it could fall apart at any moment, but it did have potential. . . He thought it would make a good henhouse. A little stone path shot off left of the shed, and it led to a greenhouse. He couldn't see inside past the vines clinging to the windows. Flower pots were scattered all over the property, and a yellow bike was lying abandoned in the bushes. The place looked good from the front, but it was actually a disaster.

"Nice place you've got here," Loki offered, "it's. . . Charming."

(Y/N) eyed him and started up the porch stairs. "Thank you for your help."

"I'll see you around, (Y/N)," he called out as she closed the door behind her.

[chancelloramidala]

Staring at the Sun ➤ Evan Buckley

Chapter Five: Growing Pains.

Masterlist.

Marceline Pierce was trying her very hardest to move on from Evan Buckley. It sucked because yeah, maybe this should’ve happened long ago when it was obvious that he didn’t return her affections, but hey at least she’s learning.

She got tired of waiting, of being filled with sadness and jealousy whenever Abby was brought up (especially whenever the subject of "Abby made me a better person!", god that made her blood boil) or whenever she was around.

It made Marceline feel… ugly if that made sense. She didn’t like those feelings brimming at the top of her surface and sort of gave up on her feelings for Buck.

She went on a few dates, finding that the men, women, and non-binary folk she met were just trying to find a one-time thing. And in most cases, Marceline was fine with that, nothing too serious and just a little fun for one night, but she craved something more than a quick interaction like that.

She wanted to get to know someone, figure out what they like and dislike, what they’re allergic to, what drives them to be a good person, and many other things. Marceline wanted a human connection that lasted longer than one night, one that would be reciprocated instead of one-sided.

And that’s how she met Elena Chavez. A beautiful Argentinian-American woman who's easy on the eyes and had the ability to make Marceline actually laugh without trying too hard. They’ve been on a few dates, namely four, and kissed for the first time towards the end of their third.

It was strange for Marceline to be dating again after several years of remaining single and then the several months quietly pinning over a goddamn oaf, but she was proud of herself. She realized that Buck was just never going to love her back in the same capacity she did and decided that she deserved better, even if it wasn’t with him like she initially hoped.

Even if something crucial was just… missing.

Nicolette was ecstatic to see her moving on from Buck. She even helped set up many of Marceline’s failed dates, but she was glad that Marceline was leaving her options open to people other than Buck. Nic has spent the better half of her days listening to her best friend go on and on about her unrequited love for Evan Buckley, and watched her cry when he attended her get-well-soon party with his new girlfriend.

Plus, it helped Marceline think Elena was actually there for her when she watched the other woman interact with Gemma and Nic. Because if there was anything you had to know about Marceline Pierce was that her friends and somewhat co-parentship to Nicolette and Gemma Pierce were an added deal into dating her.

And after the sixth date, Marceline worked up the courage to introduce Elena to another set of important people in her life: her team. Even if they didn’t know they were that important to her.

“Hey, guys, uh,” Marceline cleared her throat at the table whilst Bobby laid out the food with the help of Chimney and Buck. “Can I talk to you?”

“Hm?” They all turned their attention to her, and at that moment she kinda wanted to disappear.

“So,” she pressed her lips into a thin line as she recalled the dialogue she made up last night. “I know I haven’t been the most… open person here with my personal life, but I do consider you to be people I hold very close to my heart.“ she paused for a moment, her green and brown eyes glancing around the table to find they were all looking at her with soft expressions and a small smile tinged on their lips. ”So, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to introduce you all to my girlfriend?”

“Of course,” Bobby nodded without any hesitation and smiled softly at Marceline for taking a step at opening herself up to them.

“Aw, so the Ice Queen does have a heart.” Chimney jokes, thus earning a smack to the back of his head from Hen. “Hey, hey, I was joking, I’m very excited to meet her, Mars.” He winked at her as he rubbed the back of his head and shot Hen a playful glare.

“Great,” then she checked the watch on her wrist, “she’ll be here any moment. She’s bringing a pie.”

Marceline then led Elena towards the table after she arrived, and gestured to each person as they introduced themselves. “This is my dysfunctional team, El,” she said with a small firm.

Elena smiled brightly at everyone and waved, “It’s great to finally put faces to the names, Mars talks about,”

“Please, sit,” Bobby gestured to the table, specifically at the open spot next to Marceline.

Chimney, ever so the man to break the ice eyed the tin towards the end of the table. “So, what kind of pie did ya bring for us?”

She grinned as pink tinted her cheeks. “I baked you guys some peach pie,”

Bobby was instantly intrigued. “You made it yourself?”

Buck laughed, “We’ll you’ve already sold, Bobby huh?”

“Yes, I’m a baker and owner of Delicate Taste Buds downtown.”

Then, for the majority of the meal, Elena and Bobby exchanged their favorite dessert recipes with Marceline smiling softly at the woman next to her. It didn’t go unnoticed that the two women were holding hands at this point. Their clasped hands could be seen on the table when Elena talked about herself and grew nervous, wanting to make a good impression for the 118. So Marceline carefully reached over and put her hand on Elena’s, and gave it a gentle squeeze

Hen and Chimney whispered conspicuously to one another, smiling at Marceline and Elena’s display of affection and talking about how cute the two women were.

Buck sat there, nodding and listening to Elena talk about herself, and would add his own inquiries every so often. Then his eyes would flicker to Marceline who seemed to be only staring at the woman beside her with this soft, gentle gaze that matched how he felt he looked at Abby.

Evan Buckley never thought he’d see Marceline Pierce like this. So entranced with another being. But perhaps he wasn’t looking hard enough, to begin with.

Because if Henrietta Wilson knew the long, pining gazes of Marceline Pierce, it certainly wasn’t directed to Elena Chavez. While Buck, Bobby, and Chimney were busy talking with Elena, they never caught Marceline staring at Buck with heartbreak in her heterochromatic eyes.

The facade of warmth she thought she was holding together for her own sake slipped whenever she even spared a look to Evan Buckley.

Eventually, Elena had to go stating that she had errands to run and a business to manage. The team gave Elena and Marceline some time to say their goodbyes as they cleaned up from their meal before smirking at the woman as she walked up the twisting stairs.

“What?” she asked, dubious as to why the hell her coworkers were acting so goddamn weird. “Do I have something on my face or…?”

“We’re just happy for you, that’s all.” Bobby cut in before Chimney or Buck could make a fool of themselves.

“Oh,” Marceline replied, dumbfounded at how her team seemed to enjoy Elena’s company. “Well, don’t be too happy,” she mumbled under her breath as she walked over to the sink since it was her turn to wash the dishes.

As she rolled up her sleeves, Buck slid beside her with a red rag in hand. “You wash and I’ll dry?”

For a moment, she eyed the other man strangely, knowing very well that they had a drying rack for this very purpose but whatever, to each their own. “Sure,” she mused before turning the water on.

Silence washed over the two firefighters by the sink, one passing a wet plate or fork the other’s way as they dried it with a dishrag. But just because it was quiet, didn’t mean it was uncomfortable. Marceline and Buck were in sync with each other’s movements, the only sound coming from the splashing of water from the sink or the small squeak from the cloth against a plate.

This gave Marceline a lot of time to think about where she was in her life right now. And the more she thought about it, the worse she felt. In the end, no matter how hard she tried to get over Buck, he would still tug on her heartstrings and linger in the back of her mind, and that was in no way fair to Elena. Even if she was the perfect person to be dating, Marceline had too much shit to work through and Elena didn’t deserve to be used as a distraction of sorts.

(In short, her efforts of shoving her feelings for Evan Buckley into a box locked away deep within her wasn't going so well.)

After they finished washing and drying each and every dish in the sink and the epiphany she was having, Marceline took a blue rag nearby and wiped her hands before turning to Buck. “I think I’m going to break up with Elena,”

“What?” Buck was absolutely floored to hear this because he thought Marceline was head-over-heels with Elena.

She shrugged lamely as she threw the towel onto the counter after she finished drying her hands, “She’s a great person, but… I lack that spark with her, you know?” she turned her head to look at him, curious to know if Buck would understand.

Buck tilted his head to the side for a moment, pondering at the word spark. Because if anything, he’d think that he has that special spark with Abby. She brought the best in him, Buck 2.0 which was the best Buck, so that had to mean something, right? “Yeah,”

But then Abby’s mom died and that spark he thought he had with her started to dwindle when she walked past the glass doors and into the airport.

@skyslowalking @beelarson 4 u <3

˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷ AUTHOR���S NOTE: we in season two now bitches

[ignorancelive]

FINALLY DOING ALL MY TAG GAMES AAAA  IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO DO THESE

@whitedeadflower​ |  pick my favourite albums for bill clinton to enjoy

not necessarily my favorites but i always pick the same 5 albums for these so i just put 4 albums i like a lot and have been listening to more recently <3

@opossuwu​ | 15 questions

1. What is the first song you remember hearing?

english songs: either learn to fly by foo fighters or human by the killers, i really cannot remember which one but it was around the same time im pretty sure

spanish songs: ALL the songs on/by rebelde, my sister was super into it when i was a baby so i heard so many of their songs right as i was learning to become a human

2. What is the first band you got into?

mmmmmmm probably one direction? if we’re not counting rebelde lol

3. Do you collect music on any physical format?

i collect almost all cds i know and like on CD and have recently started buying vinyl but i think im only going to get albums i really like on it since its more expensive

4. What is your favourite piece of music-related memorabilia/merchandise?

SO many things. i really like my nirvana and red hot chili peppers shirts because they make me feel cute! im also IN LOVE with the in utero angel sticker i bought on redbubble that has a transparent border so its JUST the angel, i stuck it on my record player and i love it so so much

5. What is your favourite concert you've been to?

i have not been to a concert yet :/ i went to a little student festival thing my university hosted for us and saw hunny + hayley kiyoko which was pretty neat

6. If you could see one artist (or band) who is no longer alive in concert, who would it be?

nirvana :(

7. Have you met any musicians?

i went to a cd signing for little mix when i was like 12-13 ish but thats the closest ive gotten lol

8. What is your go-to song/album when feeling sad?

i actually have a playlist of comfort songs to listen to when im sad, but i think the song i most consistently go to is encore by red hot chili peppers

9. What is your go-to song/album when feeling happy?

this one depends. probably hump de bump also by rhcp cause it SLAPS and always puts me in a better mood than when i started

10. What is one music-related documentary you love?

EYE only watched a few minutes of funky monks but im sure if i sat down to watch it now id love it. this is the worst question to ask me because i watch a ton of interviews on youtube so i cant even remember which ones were legit docus as opposed to just youtube vids so this question is gonna be basically unanswered. i do want to watch bob and the monster though

11. What is one concert DVD that you love?

i listen to it more as an album on spotify than watch it but Nirvana’s MTV Unplugged is so good

12. Do you prefer listening to playlists or full albums?

usually playlists! but occasionally ill play the albums i have on my player

13. Do you tend to listen to albums in order or on shuffle?

in order, shuffling them is rare

14. What is your favourite deep cut song by your favourite artist?

favorite artist is rhcp and honestly im? not fully sure. quixoticelixer slaps. and i like almost every song on im with you. but i think im gonna have to go with storm in a teacup cause i checked its streams and its not that popular </3

15. What is your favorite CD/vinyl/cassette that you own in terms of packaging?

THIS ONES SO HARD I LOVE PACKAGING DESIGNS. i love how rhcp’s im with you disc looks like because it has the track list on it but it doesnt look bad like other discs who do that do. booklet design i love vices and virtues by panic at the disco and american idiot by green day. idk what this would fall under but i also love how stadium arcadium’s booklet is held in the case and how when you take it out you see a picture of the band. and there are too many albums whose art i love so i cannot elaborate on that without making this 5xs longer lmao

@garbanz0​ & @dailywilliams​​ | top 5 songs ive had on repeat recently

according to spotify’s on repeat playlist:

but also according to my last.fm:

so basically red hot chili peppers own my ass

@badhe4d​ , @garbanz0​ , & @catts-world​ | 10 songs you like, each by a different artist

uhhhhhhhhhhh

1. Monarchy of Roses - RHCP 

2. Back and Forth - Foo Fighters

3. Heart of Glass - Blondie

4. Omission - John Frusciante and Josh Klinghoffer

5. Dance with Me - Sir, Please

6. Henrietta - The Fratellis

7. Breed - Nirvana

8. Mary - The Happy Fits

9. Girls and Boys - Blur

10. It’s All So Incredibly Loud - Glass Animals

@psychoticbreak​ |  suppose you’re being sent to a deserted island for the rest of your life, and you can only choose 10 records to bring with you and those are the only albums you can listen to for the remainder of your life; what albums are they

oh GOD ok

1. in utero - nirvana

2. stadium arcadium - RHCP

3. nothing personal - all time low

4. red - taylor swift

5. after laughter - paramore

6. wasting light - foo fighters

7. im with you + im beside you if you count them as the same album - RHCP

8. so wrong its right - all time low

9. american idiot - green day

10. inside of emptiness - john frusciante

@mark-hoppuss​ |  shuffle my playlist and list the first ten songs that come up

1. New Invention - I Don’t Know How But They Found Me

2. Thanks to You - All Time Low

3. Por Que Me Haces Llorar? - Juan Gabriel 

4. Torture Me - Red Hot Chili Peppers

5. Speak Now - Taylor Swift

6. Prayer of the Refugee - Rise Against

7. Going Away to College - blink-182

8. Time-Bomb - All Time Low

9. DNA. - Kendrick Lamar

10. Heaven is a Place on Earth - Belinda Carlisle

@frafru1​ , @whitedeadflower​ , & @psychoticbreak​ | make a playlist with the letters of my name

Lithium by Nirvana

Universally Speaking by RHCP

Pool by Paramore

Eye Opener by Dot Hacker

@badhe4d​ |  post my lock screen, the last song I listened to and the last picture I saved on my phone

friends name blocked out but. an interesting screenshot. yes i have flea’s tweet notifs on and use twitter for absolutely nothing else. yes i have email notifs on 

if screenshots count:

if they DONT count and you mean purely just saving:

my icon and boyfriend <3

@badhe4d​ | 7 questions to get to know me better

three ships: not romantically because i dont believe in shipping irl people but i love everyone in rhcp’s gay polycule energy. specifically john and anthony in the 80s. romantically tho mickey and ian in shameless. i dont think i have a third one? me and my bisexual mutuals <3

last song: i shuffled a ton of songs and skipped for some of these tags but before those i was listening to the album weird kids by we are the in crowd as a tbt, specifically the song manners

last movie: inside by bo burnham but if you dont count that, hereditary 

currently watching: it is very difficult for me to watch shows so im currently just watching youtube lol

currently reading: nothing. i cannot read :( bc of attention issues not bc im illiterate

currently consuming: banana bread :3

currently craving: RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS RELEASE YOUR FUCKING ALBUM CHALLENGE

@the-replacemints​​ |  top 10 favorite debut albums

NOT in order. also it took way too long to come up with this list lol

1. Concentrate - The Happy Fits

2. So Wrong It’s Right - All Time Low

3. SOUR - Olivia Rodrigo

4. Strange Desire - Bleachers

5. RAZZMATAZZ - I Dont Know How But They Found Me

6. Hot Fuss - The Killers

7. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend

8. Bleach - Nirvana

9. Costello Music - The Fratellis

10. WALK THE MOON - Walk The Moon

because theres so many of these im not gonna tag people for each individual prompt but if you tagged me in one of these i tag you in whichever ones you wanna do <3

[fragileizywriting]

cooking together (part one)

AO3 | Start Here | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chat Noir hasn’t spoken to her since she’s woken up.

To be fair, she doesn’t blame him. She doesn’t blame him in the slightest. How stupid of her to fall asleep on top of one of the most famous, most deadliest demons in the world— sleeping on top of him like he’s nothing more than a pillow. The great Chat Noir reduced to nothing but a cuddle buddy— oh how stupid of her. She’d cried in front of him— she’s done it before to the point where there is nothing of guilt left within her whenever it happens, and he’s never said anything before but comfort her. But sleep on top of him, oh, Tikki— what should she do now? Where does she begin?

They had sat there on either side of their couch, completely silent, each with their faces hidden behind their hands within moments of her scrambling to get off of him. No doubt Chat Noir was absolutely groaning to himself internally about how unlucky he is for getting stuck with a summoner that is absolutely desperate for affection like she is— to the point where she even latches onto him even during her sleep— oh, embarrassing! So embarrassing!

He must hate her, or find her absolutely weird— hell, maybe even find her to be the most incredibly annoying human he’s ever had the displeasure of meeting— oh, Tikki— guide her in what to do next!

He’d slipped away from the couch after a moment or two of silence, changed out of his clothes for something more fitting of the chores to do around their farm life, and had washed up in the washroom— leaving the house while muttering something under his breath about going to go check up on the hens.

She’s only now just gotten ready herself. It’s been a year or so since she’s gotten regular help with lacing her stays— it’s definitely doable by herself, of course, since she’s done it her whole life on her own— but Chat Noir usually helps her, claiming it's his job as a familiar to help her.

It’s always so much easier to do with an extra pair of hands, and no matter how much or how well she ties her hair to the side, she always ends up catching part of her hair in the loops whenever she does it by herself— so she’s been accustomed to being helped in that way. But by herself, goodness— the sensation of lacing herself and tucking the spare bits of string under the stomacher is almost foreign nowadays.

She’s put on her petticoat, too— it’s almost in the shape of a full-body apron, it too snagged at some parts of her hair.

She forgets how easy things in her life are, now that Chat Noir is there to help.

At least putting on her actual dress is a breeze. She’s picked her favorite wine-colored one, the one with the front closures this time, knowing that Chat has made no signs of wanting to return into the house and help her close it in the back. She can dress herself— she doesn’t need a powerful demon for help getting dressed— he’s not a maid. Besides, it’s not as if she’s gotten used to the domesticity.

She sighs to herself in the kitchen, trying not to peek through the window as she hears him corralling the hens outside the coup so he can bring in eggs. Oh, he’s gentle with their chickens, even if it seems he’s out of his element when he does so— he’s learned to behave around them over the year and months they’ve known each other, which is definitely good news. It’s almost as if he wants to be loved by the hens. The thought shouldn’t warm her this much, but it does— oh goodness— she tries beating down the feeling with a little slap to her cheeks, whining pitifully behind her palms.

Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid!

She needs to stop thinking about the concept of domesticity with him— oh, goodness, how she needs to stop— he’s a demon— and demons do not live in little, tiny cottages with their summoning witch. Demons do not live happily tending to hens and working on fencing a perimeter out the back of their land so that they can have horses and cows and sheep accessible as the years go on. Demons do not dream of coming home and placing kisses on their summoner’s cheeks and nuzzle with a purr. And demons definitely do not wish to talk about all the latest catch he and Luka got during their fishing escapades, bringing home barrels of fish hoisted onto a carriage so that they can sell and store!

Demons certainly do not entertain any notion of falling in love with a witch— goodness, of course they don’t— she’s certain that Chat Noir would be more excited to be doing actual demon work— whatever that may be— than to stay here and build up the posts for the fence. There is simply no way in hell that Chat Noir would rather be here.

She can stupidly dream and she can stupidly wish all she wants, but the moment that she brings back Adrien, Chat Noir will swallow her soul and disappear. She’s almost positive. After all, Ladybug she may be, but she’s nothing more than a witch that needs his help. A friend, sure— but— this is all just a transaction to him, is it not?

And yet, throughout all of this, she can’t stop herself from wishing. Wishing to wake up every morning in the same manner that she had today— pressed up against him, warm and safe, close enough to him that she could steal a kiss off of him— oh, she’s so silly, fantasizing about what she can’t have!

Maybe she can start with an apology gift— maybe he’ll talk to her then— he did say last night he wanted to try lover-honey cookies, after all.

It’s been years since she’s helped with the recipe, but she’s memorized it— even as she’d learned spells from her textbooks she’d bought off of traveling bookwagons, she also made sure to pay attention to her parents when they baked, just so that she knew how to make it in case they didn’t have any and she wanted to bring some for Adrien.

She’ll have to go into town to find a couple of things, they might be low on sugar— but it’ll be good for her to get out of the house— the more and more she stays inside the cottage, the more she’s bound to get cabin-fever from the amount of thinking that’s going on in her head.

Oh, but…

She leans on her elbows on the counter as she looks at the fire lily in the little vase she’s procured from the cabinets, sighing wistfully. The vase doesn’t do it justice, since it’s been such a long time since she’s decided to cut any flowers outside and bring some indoors— it is a little dusty and a little chipped, but that’s alright. The vase is far too wide to house just a single flower— it almost looks out of place without any surrounding foliage. Maybe she should go out in the backwoods and search for shrubbery or moss to accompany it, after making the cookies— something dark green, so it won’t take away from the flower.

It’s a beautiful lily— she’s never seen such a beautiful blossom before. Usually the lilies she’s seen and planted over the years have been spotted and freckled along the petals— very reminiscent of the freckles along her face— but this one is completely and totally unblemished, favoring instead just a beautiful gradient from orange to dark red at the tips.

It’s nothing like the trumpet-bell-shaped lilies she’s known to grow— this lily isn’t shy in the slightest in its bloom. It curls open, unafraid, desperate to attract bees and other pollinators to the honey-like smell of nectar— she sighs to herself as she continues to admire it.

It is lovely. So lovely.

She’s never received a flower before.

Oh, sure. She’s received many gifts before. Alix with her pocket watches that tick and tock so delicately they must simply be works of magic— Alya with her many books that she lends to her whenever she needs to learn new spells— Nino always buying their lunch or dinner whenever the two of them decide to get food together in town and Chat is off with another competition against Luka.

Oh, and sweet Luka, of course, with his snake oil bottles— with the pearl earrings he’s made for her, even if she can’t wear them because of the demonic seals tattooed onto her ears— the countless of songs he sings and writes for her when he’s finally on land.

But a flower?

How had Chat Noir known to give her one of her favorite flowers? A gorgeous fire lily— oh— if only she could keep it in this vase forever. Nothing compares to the honey scent that the fire lily produces— she smells it softly, bending down more onto the counter to smell the aromatics, taking note of the buds of pollen that are ripe to explode.

“Princess!”

She straightens her spine with a squeak, almost knocking over the vase in an attempt to stand up straight, looking out to the front door. “Yes? W-what’s wrong, kitty-cat?”

She takes to patting down her apron that lays flat across the slim boning of her stays, just to have something to do with her hands, trying not to look as nervous as she feels.

Chat Noir shoulders through the front door, a clucking brown ball under his arm, grinning like a fool. There are black smudges against his feet and pants already, as always, somehow finding a way to succeed every expectation and find a way to stain his clothes. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong— in fact— look! I found her with the other ladies— look— she’s even letting me hold her!”

Henrietta.

“My goodness, you’re right—” She pushes her braid back over her shoulder, making her way over to him and their hen. Henrietta is absolutely tame in his hands for a bird that is notorious for scampering the other way the moment Chat looks at her. Goodness, she’s so small— easily could fit through any crevice of any tree she’d found during the storm— no wonder she’d been impossible to spot during the storm last night after she’d slipped out of the coup.

Marinette takes Henrietta out of his arms once she’s close enough to reach for her, checking her over for signs of injury— but there’s absolutely nothing, sans the slight complaining she gives when transferring into another person’s arms. No feathers missing at the back of her neck, there’s no bleeding, there doesn’t even seem to be any scuffling on her feet or claws— her eyes look healthy and clean. Miraculously, the hen is perfectly fine— even clucking softly as she turns her over to check her undercarriage.

She could cry. “Oh, Chat, this is wonderful! She’s completely unharmed! Blessed be this little hen.”

“I told you she’d be okay,” Chat Noir’s ears twitch as he leans up against the doorframe.

She tucks Henrietta into her side just to have somewhere secure enough to place her. “Where did you find her?”

“She was on the other side of the fence, actually. She was trying to get back in but couldn’t figure out on how to jump the fence or get through the gap.” His smile comes out a little lopsided, diamond green eyes filled with joy.

“I’m so grateful that you found her, Chat. Oh thank Tikki she’s safe and sound,” She wipes at her cheek, trying to wipe away any tears that are threatening to form. Goodness, Henrietta is alright. What a miracle this is— she’d been so hard on herself the night before, wondering why she’d left the gate open— she’ll never do that again for sure. Definitely not, and definitely not during an active rainstorm no less. She’s learned her lesson.

“Oh.” He blinks slowly at her.

“What is it?”

“You—” Chat’s lips twitch on the side with a widening smile. He reaches to her to pet at her cheek with a clawed thumb, and she can’t help but follow his hand down to her cheek with widening eyes, biting her lip. “You have a stain on your cheek.”

“I do?”

He laughs. “Is it from the flower? You know, I’ve been told that it’s good fortune to be blemished by a lily.”

“I—” She can feel her cheeks heat. Oh, Tikki! “I— uh— I never knew that—”

He pauses, and something about his ears as they twitch downwards gives him the appearance of being apprehensive, but she can barely look away as she feels the heat of his hand up against her cheek— she’s so desperate to stop thinking about this being their new normal. What she would give to have mornings filled with loving touches— loving glances— loving moments such as this.

“Do you… not want me to touch you anymore?”

She blanches, feeling her heart sink into her socks. “What?”

“You’re kind of shying away—”

“No— please— I mean— I don’t mind you touching me— my— face. At all. Please.” Oh, Tikki. What did she do to deserve this? How does she make herself stop rambling? “Please continue— I—”

“Are you sure?” His lips thin, his voice quieting. “You… don’t look comfortable.”

“No, I promise, I’m very comfortable. So very comfortable.” She nods as well as she can without accidentally poking her eye out on the thumb that rests at her temple. It would just be her luck to be that careless. Her voice sounds almost weak as she continues to speak. “Extremely comfortable.”

“Are you lying? I don’t ever want to make you feel uncomfortable with me, Marinette.”

She squeaks when Henrietta decides to complain about being in her arms, trying to flap out of her grasp and try to fly onto the floor. “You don’t make me uncomfortable at all, Chat! Please don’t think that— I— you could never make me uncomfortable.”

“Here, let me—” He takes Henrietta out of her arms, tucking the little hen close to him.

“Oh, I—” She snaps her jaw shut. “You know, I have to leave.”

His eyes widen. She takes in the snap of his tail as he stands up straighter, his ears going ramrod straight, looking at her with such alarm that it almost shocks her herself— the tattoos on her ears start to burn as his magic flares. It flares more wide than tall, stretching to its limit, encompassing nearly everything around them, leaving her looking at him in awe at the actual expanse of his magic. Just how big of a reach does it actually have? Just how much of a range does Chat Noir’s magic go to? “Leave? Wait, where are you going?”

Oh, stupid! “I mean— I have to leave to go to the market to get more flowers. No— I mean— flour—”

“You’re leaving to get flowers?” He winces.

His magic continues to surge against hers, wider and wider, forcing hers to open up just as much in order to match his correctly. She can feel her magic stretch further than ever possible, trying to meet his from border to border, trying to push up against his in a perfect mirror. Is he… afraid? What is that feeling? She can’t place it at all. Why does her magic continue to try intertwining and swirling with his, trying to soothe him without her even directing it to?

“D-did you not like the lily?”

Oh, stupid little witch!

She takes a step back, noticing the way his eyes shine with sorrow she can’t place, and reaches for his arm. She can’t pull on it, not as he holds Henrietta, but she gives him a squeeze. “Oh, no, Chat, that’s not true at all. I loved the lily. My goodness, I’m in love— er, I mean, with the flower, of course— I’ve never gotten a flower before and I’m just so amazed that you ended up giving me my favorite flower— I just— please, Chat, it’s okay. Please don’t worry. It’s okay, kitty-cat. I love the gift too much to bear, almost.”

His ears flatten against his head. “Please don’t go.”

Sweet Tikki. At what point had her demon been convinced that she was taking back their demon seal agreements? After a full year of preparing for his help— why does Chat Noir believe that she doesn’t want him around for help anymore?

“I promise I’m not leaving, Chat, not permanently. I meant to say that I just need to go to the market to get flowder powder.” She scrunches her face, trying her hardest not to give herself another silly pat to the cheeks. “No— I mean— plowder flour. Oh, sweet Tikki. I need ingredients for the lover-honey cookie.”

“Powder flour,” His face relaxes, finally registering what she’s meant. She watches his relief spread across his entire body, starting from the way his ears sag slightly in a more comfortable position— his shoulders drop a smidge— his tail stops flicking— she can’t help but watch with a slack jaw as his magic starts to curl and coil its way back into shape, tugging at hers in a way that feels like he’s pulling her closer for a hug. She feels warm all over, giddy at having her magic being unfolded, matching his perfectly. She never knew she had so much of a range to her magic— what else is there about their connection that she doesn’t know about? “Do you mean a bag of flour?”

“Yes, flour,” She viciously nods her head, ignoring the curls in their magic as they push and pull against one another. “Do you— do you want to come with, so that you don’t feel like I’m leaving you?”

He perks up. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“Of course I do.” She wants him to stay with her forever.

“Ah. Actually, you know, it’s best if I finish up the post I was working on.” He looks upset at having to take it back, at least, giving Henrietta a loving brush with his claws from her neck down. “We don’t want the girls to keep escaping ever again, right?”

“Right. Yes. You’re completely right.” Oh, she could weep. How in the world did she manage this? “I’m going to go get our coin pouch, but I’ll be back from the market before you know it.”

“Right,” His ears twitch as he tries for a smile. “Yeah. Of course.”

-*-

“Stupid stupid stupid.” She tries not to kick up any of the dirt around her with her boots as she continues to walk down the path towards town. Oh, she’s miserable. Absolutely miserable. She never meant to hurt Chat Noir’s feelings in any way— her day dreams have made their interactions completely and totally awkward.

What is with her?

She needs to get her act together.

She has to.

Chat Noir doesn’t deserve her freaking out at every little touch and glance.

Oh, the way he looked at her, as if she were the one capable of burning him into a crisp, just by the way she had spoken about leaving. How could she ever do that to her Chat Noir? She wouldn’t dare even dream of it. Her earlobes burn at the sensation of having to pull away from Chat Noir’s magic— a curse, unfortunately, of having her soul bonded to the demon. It’s painful like a phantom pain— it’ll go away for a while just to come back and remind her that she’s too far away for their magic to reach and intermingle.

Although, now that she knows that his range can go much further, she’s tempted to believe that it must be psychosomatic. Maybe it’s her own worries being projected onto her own tattoos, but she’s not certain of it.

She stops to wipe at her eyes. Miserable. Absolutely miserable. She’s going to end up losing her friend this way, just because she couldn’t find it in herself to stop behaving like a lovesick girl batting and fanning her eyelashes at the first pretty boy she sees.

It doesn’t help that he’s pretty, either. With beautiful lashes and such a boyish smile that makes her heart rate go up and golden honey-colored hair and perfect green eyes— oh, Tikki! What should she do now?

She turns around, checking to see if she’s far away from the cottage to try to gauge if she can start screaming into her aprons without him hearing, only to see a black cat following along the dirt path with his tiny little paws. He meows at her, blinking slowly at her with green eyes, tilting his head just enough to imply that he’s asking a question.

She stares at him just a smidge.

“Oh. Did you decide you want to come with me?” She steps closer, infinitely grateful that she hadn’t started her desire to bury her face into the fabric of her dress.

Her magic curls against his on sheer instinct, but she registers something odd about it the moment their magic try to interlock. Usually it is nothing short of a perfect shape against each other, like their combined magic were made to fit together— but this feels like there are gaps. Where her magic should be filling in the gaps, instead, she finds her magic hesitating in some spots and areas, as if it is too shy to intermingle. She can’t find the edges to his magic at all, even as she tries stretching hers out manually and she wonders if he’s followed her because he’s afraid again.

Chat purrs when she picks him up. He’s a soft little thing, perfectly sweet and pliable in her arms as she turns him and pets along his chest, letting her hug him tight to her stays. She sighs into his forehead. The poor dear follows her to the market, truly concerned that she’s leaving… how can she ever allow herself to not tell him the truth, since the perfect moment is being presented to her now? “You know, I’ve never been considered a bold person, but I’m always willing to try if it’s for you.”

Chat’s tail flickers, giving her an indication that he’s listening.

“I’m sorry for hurting you today— it was never my intention to make you look so sad. Never in my life did I imagine that you would be upset at me leaving the house— I never want to see that face on you ever again, if we can avoid it.”

Her tattoos on her ears start to prickle at the words I want. After all, part of the rules of being her contracted demon is to take into account her wishes— however, she doesn’t want him to think she’s commanding him. Ever. He is always free to choose on what to do when she accidentally uses those words.

“I need to be honest with you.” She starts, desperate not to look down and attempt to gauge his reaction. “I do not want anything about our relationship to change, even after I say this— I understand. I really do. Please do not think you have to answer, or even give a response, I’d like for you to just listen for a little bit. It’s easier when you’re in this form for sure.”

Chat Noir chirps in her arms.

“I don’t want you to ever think that you make me uncomfortable, because that simply isn’t true. I understand that you want nothing to do with me in the same manner that I do with you— you will always be my familiar and my friend.” She feels giddy, being able to finally say it out loud. “My feelings for you are very strong. You’re my most valuable companion— and— and I— I thank Tikki every day for all the moments I can share with you.”

He butts her on her collarbone, nuzzling into her shoulder.

“The face you had made just moments before I’d left the house— your magic swelling up like a cloud, like it does now— I do not want that to ever happen again. You will never make me uncomfortable— and you never have. I value you so much. Too much. I care about you too deeply. I don’t need to cookies to know that I have feelings for you.”

Chat Noir stops moving.

And that says all.

She steels herself. “Do you think I’m playing a prank on you? Do you truly not believe me?”

He’s almost like stone in her arms.

“I— I would never do that to you. Please, don’t assume things like that. My words are pure.” She sighs to herself when his only response is to flick his tail. “Why don’t we go shopping for the bag of flower so I can make the cookies and prove to you my feelings?”

AO3 | Start Here | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[yourpersonaljaskier]

Yes please!!! I am huge book hoarder & reader. I have probably a few hundred books all together on all my e-reader apps & physical books. So I understand the book struggle with picking a favorite. Axes are a personal favorite of mine, I always check them out when I go into stores. The hatchet Habit has though that looks like a saw blade had me drooling! -🪓axe

He appreciates the compliment!

Alright, so, first up, we have the medically and historically accurate book series: the Montogue(?) siblings.

The first book is The Gentleman's guide to Vice and Virtue, where we have POC representation, along with accurate medical history and knowledge, and a gay relationship, along with accurate depictions of racism, stigma around seizures, women having to fight to get a place in their profession and rank.

And then we have A Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy. I have not finished this book yet, but-

ACE REPRESENTATION! HOLY FUCK, THE PROTAG IS A WOMAN AND ACE!!!!!! She wants to become a doctor, and goddamn, she WILL fight for her right to become one!

Next up, we have a more child friendly book, that I absolutely adore because of one character, and that is the Nevermoor series.

The first book, Nevermoor: The Trials of Morrigan Crow, revolves around our young Morrigan Crow, who was cursed from birth because of the day she was born. She was only sought to live until her 11th birthday, if I remember correctly, BUT, a stranger, wearing nothing but green clad clothing, sporting ridiculous looking ginger hair, comes to rescue her from her demise.

I won't tell anything else, as the second book's description would spoil some things.

Then we have The Kid Normal series. Honestly, this book is very middle school grade, but it's so fucking hilarious.

So, Kid Normal, aka Murphy Cooper, has to move once again to a different town because of his mom's job. All schools have started already, and Murphy has nowhere to go. Yet.... His mom stumbles across The School. She begs the principle, mr. Super, to allow her son to apply, under the geise of 'Help him fly.'

Won't tell anything else on that.

Now, before last series: Six of Crows duology.

Holy fuck. These two books. They fucking destroyed me, Anon. Crooked Kingdom especially. Like.... Holy fucking shit, bro. If you like magic, great character development, strong females, good trauma representation, PTSD representation, ADHD representation, dyslexia representation, MLM and bi boys, then I suggest you pick up the book! Though, trigger warning for the following:

Slavery

Brothels

Forced workers

Sex slaves

A whole lot of plague

And general violence and signs of racism, war and history.

Last book series I will suggest: The Raven Cycle.

Boi, where the fuck do I begin? The Raven Boys, Dream Thieves, Blue Lily, Lily Blue and The Raven King are such incredible books. They are character driven, plot thick stories, with mystery upon mystery, stories entwined in story, unreliable narrators, boys loving boys, trauma representation, Henrietta, class difference, magic, psychics, etc. If you liked what you heard, I suggest to pick it up. Cannot explain how amazing that book series is.

I have a shit ton more, but I've already written enough

[doomonfilm]

Memories : Top 15 Films of 2020

If 2020 taught movie fans anything, it was that we shouldn’t take things for granted.  On the dollars and cents side of things, movie theaters were already facing an uphill battle to stay sustainable, but the “shelter-in-place” practice of March and beyond decimated box office returns, with many theaters yet to reopen (if they will open at all).  In terms of famous names and faces, the list of those who passed away featured numerous icons : Kobe Bryant, Kirk Douglas, Max von Sydow, Honor Blackman, Carl Reiner, Ennio Morricone, John Saxon, Wilford Brimley, Chadwick Boseman, Sean Connery, Tiny Lister Jr., Adolfo ‘Shabba Doo’ Quinones and many more transitioned to the great beyond.  Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Shudder and a number of other streaming services saw themselves step into the forefront of the entertainment provider realm, with Warner Brothers and a handful of other studios making announcements that they will be following suit for at least 2021, if not for good.

With all of this uncertainty and chaos, however, the year 2020 was a surprisingly strong one, in my opinion, when it came to cinematic output... so much so, in fact, that aside from a number of Honorable Mentions, my list of top films was expanded to 15 in order to accommodate all of my choices.  For anyone who has checked out my lists from previous years, you will know that I did not see every film released this year, but I did make my best effort to cover as wide a range of films as possible.  Enjoy the list, and be sure to support film in whatever medium you are able to moving forward so that it can thrive.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

The 40-Year-Old Version (dir. Radha Blank) A nice little personal film that spoke to my hip-hop sensibility, as well as that ever-present awareness of the inevitability of age, and how it can skew our perspective in regards to our achievements.

Ava (dir. Tate Taylor) This isn’t the action film that’s going to reinvent the wheel, but if you look at action films like wheels, this is a quality wheel.  Outside of Common, I couldn’t really find much to shoot down... this will definitely be one I consider the next time I have company and we’re looking for something fun to check out.

Bill & Ted Face The Music (dir. Dean Parisot) I honestly would have been satisfied with just two films in this franchise, but surprisingly, a third entry was created that didn’t ruin my overall enjoyment of the previous two films.  Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter jumped in without missing a beat, a healthy dose of familiar faces popped back up, and the new cast additions weren’t too jarring... it’s nice to know that a pair of my favorite childhood films are officially now part of a trilogy.

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (dir. Jason Woliner) This was possibly the most surprising release of 2020... outside of a couple of news blips that Sacha Baron Cohen made during production, not a lot about this film was leaked prior to its release.  For such a dated character and a seemingly outdated style of humor, Borat once again exposed the simplest parts of society in an incredibly insightful (albeit cringey as all get-out) manner.

Guns Akimbo (dir. Jason Lei Howden) One of the most fun films of 2020.  Somewhere, the creative minds behind Nerve are wishing that they’d made this film instead. 

Henrietta and Her Dismal Display of Affection (dir. Jeffrey Garcia) Jeffrey Garcia is the homie, and I’ve had the pleasure of being in a number of his short films, so when he announced his intentions to write and shoot a feature film in 2020, I was completely on-board.  Miraculously, he was able to film the movie while the world was being ravaged by COVID-19, and though I cannot publicly announce details yet, this film has definitely already met (and likely succeeded) his expectations.

The Midnight Sky (dir. George Clooney) With each film that George Clooney directs, I realize more and more than he is an old soul trapped in a body idolized by the new school of film.  That being said, it’s nice to know that there are directors out there willing to embrace patient, silent and contemplative moments while simultaneously withholding from force-feeding viewers exposition.  

Tenet (dir. Christopher Nolan) This was possibly the most anticipated release of the year, considering it was the king of the IMAX release crowd in its pre-release promotion.  After a small delay due to COVID-19, it was one of the first films released in hopes of testing the movie-going waters during what was sure to be a diminished period of time, which probably hurt its numbers.  Too many, the film was confusing, and the nit-picking was fierce from the criticism contingency, but in all honesty, this was pretty impressive Nolan fare... certainly a good second movie in a Nolan double feature.

The Trial of the Chicago 7 (dir. Aaron Sorkin) I cannot tell a lie... I was hugely impressed with how Sorkin managed to reel his personality and voice back in order to let this well-known, controversial moment in time present itself.  Sorkin has a tendency to be the star of his films, be it when he is in the writer or director role, but for this film, he managed to focus the best parts of his skillset into a highly respectful, educational and inspiring tale that fit the tumultuous summer we endured.

VHYes (dir. Jack Henry Robbins) I remember seeing this trailer as 2019 was coming to a close, and it was a film high on my list of desired viewing.  Then 2020 reared its ugly, stupid head and many releases disappeared into obscurity or found themselves delayed.  Luckily, this one slipped through the cracks and found a home in the streaming world, which in all honesty, suited its presentation very well.  One of the most delightfully weird films of the year, hands down. 

Vivarium (dir. Lorcan Finnegan) Of all the films cut from my Top 15 list, this was the toughest cut to make.  I went into the film totally blind (with Jesse Eisenberg and my respect for his acting chops being the sole selling point), but this film really hit a lot of my buttons... it’s trippy as can be, there is a character that is freakishly unique and wholly unnerving, and the production design leaves a lasting impression.  Don’t let the Honorable Mention designation fool you... this one is a winner.  

Wonder Woman 1984 (dir. Patty Jenkins) The Christmas gift that the masses collectively decided that they did not want.  Much like Ava, there is one glaring aspect of this film that I could have done without, but otherwise, I found this to be an enjoyable film.  Gal Gadot was made for this role, while Kristen Wiig and Pedro Pascal stepped up to the plate and impressed.  If you’re looking to be blown away, the Wonder Woman franchise isn’t the smartest place to go, but if you’re looking for entertainment, there’s plenty of it here.   

THE TOP 15 FILMS OF 2020

15. Mignonnes (dir. Maïmouna Doucouré) This one started off the year with plenty of controversy.  What was an award-winning tale about womanhood and the difficulties surrounding coming of age in an ever-changing and evolving world quickly devolved into a campaign to ban the film (and Netflix).  Many people overlooked the film as a cautionary tale about what access to the Internet and the sexually-charged nature in which women are portrayed can do to developing girls, instead choosing to accuse the film of being fodder for malicious types seeking to exploit the sexualizing of young women.  More than anything, in my opinion, Mignonnes served as an example of our outrage-fueled culture and the way it tends to skew our perspective and/or our ability to take art at face value.

14. His House (dir. Remi Weekes) As I’ve mentioned many times over the past week or so on this blog, horror films were one of the few genres that found a benefit from the film industry’s transition to streaming services for primary access to film.  While a number of traditional horror films received notice, His House took the opportunity to not only make a pure horror film, but one that spoke on racism and the conditions that asylum-seekers and refugees face.  The film is well-acted, the production value is high quality, and it’s paced beautifully... while not the highest film on this list, it is certainly one I will encourage others to see as time goes by.

13. All Day and a Night (dir. Joe Robert Cole) When human nature reared its ugly head during COVID-19 in the form of numerous race-related killings, multitudes of businesses quickly adopted the Black Lives Matter mantra, with film distributors and streaming services taking advantage of the moment to produce and release content relevant to cultural and social awareness.  Netflix was no different, and of the many films they released in the wake of the harrowing events, All Day and a Night is the one that feels the most sincere and honest in its approach and presentation.  The streets of Oakland are presented with a vast array of characters, each with complex backgrounds and states of mind, all of which helps the viewer understand the pressure many minorities live with and process on a daily basis.

12. She Dies Tomorrow (dir. Amy Seimetz) Execution is king, even when applied to the simplest of premises, and She Dies Tomorrow is a shining example of this.  In a very John Cassavetes move, director Amy Seimetz took her payment from her appearance in Pet Sematary and used it to fund a personal project that more than likely would have been ignored by studio heads.  The result is a hypnotic, entrancing and haunting film where stillness and anticipation play antagonist, while we as viewers feel the need to transpose ourselves into the protagonists we are presented due to their stilted but emotional performances.  Hopefully this one finds some notoriety in the cult classic realm as the years pass.

11. The Vast of Night (dir. Andrew Patterson) For a debut film, The Vast of Night handles itself with a surprising amount of confidence in its vision.  The immersion is nearly instant as we are first placed in the premise of a TV show, and then a 1950′s town, but once the actors and camera get going, it’s up to us as viewers to strap in for the ride.  The story is deeply intriguing, the performances are strong enough to carry a very dialogue heavy movie, and the final act is chilling in its reveals.  I will be surprised if this one finds its way to a Best Original Screenplay nomination due to it being a debut film from a relatively unknown writer/director, but if it manages to get the nomination it will certainly be a well-deserved one.

10. Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (dir. Cathy Yan) The movie that broke the list.  If someone would have told me in 2019 that a film directly connected to Suicide Squad would be anywhere on a Top Films list I curated, I would have laughed dead in their face, and yet, here we are.  It’s like every good idea that was poorly executed in Suicide Squad found new life in Birds of Prey, which makes the film not only an entertaining watch, but a satisfying one.  Not only is Margot Robbie perfect in this film (as well as given a break on the exploitative costuming), but Mary Elizabeth Winstead arguably takes a stab at stealing the show with her performance.  Don’t let the DCEU association fool you... Birds of Prey is the real deal.    

9. Never Rarely Sometimes Always (dir. Eliza Hittman) Probably the most contemplative film on the entire list, and impressive in its nature for sure.  To my knowledge, the cast is made up of mostly unknowns (unless I’m sleeping on actors and actresses, which has been known to happen), and as a result, a tough slice of life to swallow is presented in an extremely grounded nature.  Sidney Flanigan gives a powerful performance, hopefully the first of many.

8. Possessor [Uncut] (dir. Brandon Cronenberg) Easily the most “what the f-ck” film on this list, and certainly one worthy of the Cronenberg name.  Andrea Riseborough has been on my radar since Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) and Mandy, and seeing her in a lead role confirms her talent.  I’m a sucker for science-fiction films that don’t rely on digital effects and elaborate set pieces, and Possessor rings both of those bells with a vengeance.  I watched the uncut version, which has a couple of extremely brutal sequences that will unnerve even the most hardened viewer, but these sequences only serve to drive home the lost nature of Tasya, our protagonist.  This one isn’t for everyone, but for those who can stomach a bit off graphicness and process a narrative that doesn’t spoon-feed you answers, this one is a must see.

7. Da 5 Bloods (dir. Spike Lee) Spike Lee has always been a huge influence on me as both an aspiring filmmaker and a fan of the medium, but I’d be lying if I told you that his last decade was a memorable one.  Outside of BlacKkKlansman, Lee has found himself falling short of his vision more often than not, but Da 5 Bloods is a tonal and stylistic bullseye.  Fans of Lee will dig it, fans of Vietnam films will dig it, and anyone who had an inkling of respect or admiration for Chadwick Boseman will be moved.  If Lee continues to make films as good as this one, he may find an entirely new generation of fans as a result.

6. Soul (dir. Pete Docter) As mentioned at the top of this list, people love to try and sink films due to their own personal agendas, and Soul found itself in the crosshairs prior to its late 2020 release.  Many people were upset that a minority character would not only spend most of the movie as a blue blob, but would also seemingly serve as a tool for another character’s “salvation”.  That being said, once Soul dropped, anybody with common sense dropped those stances and realized that Pixar had not only made a stunningly beautiful film, but one that likely spoke to adults more than children.  Plain and simple, Soul is a bonafide instant classic.

5. Kajillionaire (dir. Miranda July) If Evan Rachel Wood doesn’t win an Oscar for her performance in Kajillionaire (or at least garner a nomination), Hollywood needs to collectively have their head checked.  Every year worth its salt has a weird, quirky but loveable film, and Miranda July more than succeeded in making one for 2020.  The humor, both physical and dialogue-based, is on point, and the bittersweet nature of the story is gut-wrenching as the film progresses.  This one was probably the biggest surprise for 2020 in terms of prior awareness versus post-watch admiration.

4. Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (dir. George C. Wolfe) The final film of Chadwick Boseman’s short but prolific career is one that allowed him to exist in the wake of his reality, making his performance powerful and (seemingly) cathartic.  He is surrounded by supreme talent on all sides, as there are no weak performances in this film, and despite it essentially being a play shot for film, it feels far from limited, contained or constrained.  Not only does it speak on larger issues of the commodification of Black pain and talent, but it may serve as a vehicle for a posthumous Oscar for Boseman.

3. The Devil All The Time (dir. Antonio Campos) This was the first Netflix original that made me really and truly respect them as a film distributor.  The list of talent for The Devil All The Time is truly impressive, and Tom Holland knocked his lead role out of the park.  Robert Pattinson is great as always, and the way that the story winds back into itself keeps you locked in and connected until the credits roll.  For something that came out so many months ago, it’s respectable that it was able to hold such a high position on a list that was as fluid as any I’ve ever put together.

2. Mank (dir. David Fincher) For a time, this was the hands down film of the year on my list.  Gary Oldman has basically become a “can do no wrong” actor, and his performance was amplified by David Fincher’s ability to emulate the look, sound and feel of a bygone Hollywood era.  On top of this, the built in intrigue that comes with handling anything remotely connected to Orson Welles is present, making Mank almost feel like a companion piece to the prolific film that is Citizen Kane.  If The Devil All The Time was a victory for Netflix, then Mank was the win that put them into a true spot as contenders in the future of film distribution. 

1. I'm Thinking of Ending Things (dir. Charlie Kaufman) Where does one even begin with Charlie Kaufman?  Time and again, he proves to be one of the most truly unique voices to gain fame.  For I’m Thinking of Ending Things, Kaufman seemingly returns to his foundation of odd, offbeat love stories, only to take us on a journey of truly mind-bending and psyche-warping proportions.  Of all the movies on this list, this is the one that almost demands repeat viewings, as one must have an idea of the entire journey before they can understand the individual aspects laid out.  If dialogue isn’t your thing, then this one may not hold you, but that would be a shame, as this beautiful mystery stands head and shoulders above the rest of 2020′s stellar output.

[100storiesin2020]

Chapter 8: Columbia, Part 2

Come read on AO3!

Neil checked the rear view mirror to make sure Ronan's BMW was still behind them before hopping out of the Maserati. He fetched an extra parking pass and handed it to Ronan through the window. "Follow Andrew to the parking lot. Blue, you can walk with them or come in with us." She hopped out as the two cars peeled off.

"So this is Eden's," she said as Nicky began an elaborate handshake with security. "How long have y'all been coming here?"

"Nicky and the twins used to work here," he said. "The staff remembers them, so we are able to get in without ID's and drink for free."

"Nice," was all she said as they entered. He directed her to go sit with the others and headed to the bar.

"Hello!" Roland called when he noticed Neil. He nodded his head over to their usual table in the corner. "I see you have a new face today. Will it be the usual treatment for them?"

"No," Neil said. "No drugs. Do throw in several extra drinks, though. We have another extra coming in with Andrew."

"Oh," Roland drew out, raising an eyebrow. "What's the story there?" Neil shrugged. He didn't really know why Ronan was there, actually. They had only wanted Blue. Roland continued to wait for an explanation, but finally realized it was in vain. "Alright then." He started to pull out glasses. "I'll give you your usual and a few undoctored extras. Do you have any idea what they like?" Roland smiled when Neil shook his head. "Bartender's choice, then. And a soda for you, as usual." He handed the very full tray to Neil. "Have a nice night!"

Neil navigated his way over to the table. Andrew and Ronan had arrived, and the booth was very crowded. Nicky had pulled up a bar stool to sit on, which made just enough space is everyone squeezed in. Blue was looking around interestedly, while Ronan was lounging as if bored out of his mind. Kevin reached for the drinks before they even hit the table, but Aaron didn't look up from texting long enough to notice.

"So," Blue said as Neil took his seat by Andrew, "You did say this was free?" Nicky excitedly launched into the story of how he had worked there. Blue nodded along as if she hadn't already heard. "Cool then. What's the most expensive thing here?" Nicky pointed out a swirly colorful concoction and Blue snapped it right up. "This is mine, then."

Ronan laughed. "You're not going to get drunk on a sissy drink like that."

"Good thing I wasn't planning to get drunk. Go to town, shithead." Ronan immediately kicked back several drinks. "And give me your keys before those give in." Ronan grumbled but handed over the keys. Somehow, he and Kevin were neck in neck for number of drinks consumed. How they were still alive, Neil didn't know. Eventually Nicky dragged Aaron and Kevin off to go dance, leaving Neil and Andrew alone with the freshmen.

Andrew immediately leaned across the table, looking Blue straight in the eye. "You're suspicious."

"You don't know the half of it," Blue replied, sipping her drink. Her eyes had gone tight, body stiff, like she was absolutely dreading this conversation. She didn't back down, though. This girl was made of steel.

"How do you know Mr. Gray?" Andrew asked.

Ronan leaned forward menacingly. "You don't need to know that."

Blue elbowed him before leveling a glare. "I promised to answer some questions about Mr. Gray. He kind of scared the shit out of Josten here. I can handle this. Go dance." When he tried to argue she shoved him out of the seat. He picked himself up off the floor, muttering curses, but did eventually leave. Blue turned back to them. "I believe I told you that he is dating my mother."

"Why is a small-town psychic dating a hit man, then?"

Blue was shocked. "You can't just say that were anyone can hear."

"This is a club. It's too loud for anyone to be listening to us without being obvious. Answer the question."

"He came to her to get a reading when he was in Henrietta... on assignment," she said with a grimace. "They apparently hit it off quickly. I kind of avoided learning the details."

"That leaves out the very important question of why a hit man was in Henrietta," Neil stated.

Blue glared at him. "All you two need to know," she said slowly, "is whether we're a risk. I know about the Butcher and the Moriyamas." Neil flinched. "Mr. Gray explained the situation and dynamics to me when I signed the contract. We aren't a target for them, and it's my understanding that you've got everything settled here. Is there anything else?"

"Can you protect them?" Andrew asked.

"What?"

"If something goes wrong, I will not protect them. That's up to you."

Blue nodded. "I've lost enough of my friends this last year. Nobody will touch them ever again." Andrew leaned back, satisfied, and went back to drinking. Blue sipped her drink for another minute or so and then left to dance.

"I think she'll be alright," Neil said in German. Andrew grunted. "She has the look of someone who isn't afraid to fight."

"She has scars," Andrew replied. "Around her eye."

Neil nodded thoughtfully. "Must wear makeup to hide them. What did you think of the rest of what she said? Nicky says she mentioned a friend dying recently, and she let slip that Gansey has died twice, whatever that means." Andrew hummed. "I think she has plenty of motivation to be on the lookout."

They sat there in silence for awhile, lights flashing on Andrew's blond hair. It still surprised Neil, sometimes, how much things had changed for him in the last year. He still hated crowds, didn't like loud music or drinking, but he liked Eden's. This was Andrew's territory, and with Andrew, he was safe. He was home.

His thoughts were interrupted by the others coming back to the table. Kevin and Ronan eyed each other as they both did more shots. Blue said something about fragile male egos and the two of them flipped her the bird, rather clumsily. They were both pretty drunk.

"Fuckin Gray man," Ronan muttered. What was that accent coming through the slur? "Someday I'll get even with him."

"You're already even with the person who matters," Blue replied. That was interesting.

"Fuckin Greenmantle deserved what he fuckin got." Neil could place the accent now.

Kevin did too. "You sound... you sound like my mom used to," he stammered. "Irish. Are you Irish?"

"Dad was Irish," Ronan grumbled.

"He gets the accent when he's drunk," Blue supplied cheerily. "It embarrasses the hell out of him." Ronan flipped her off yet again.

"My mom was Irish," Kevin said. "I haven't heard that accent since she died. She used to tell me all these old stories..." he trailed off softly. "I wish I could remember them."

"Did she tell you the legend of Finn McCool?"

"The giant?" Kevin asked hopefully. "I think so, that one sounds familiar. I remember a really sad story too. It was her favorite. Something about a girl who was supposed to marry a king but started a war?"

Ronan nodded. "Sounds like Deidre, at least if my mom told me the same stories yours did." Neil listened with half an ear as the two of them continued to swap pieces of folk tales. They had a few in common, and others they did not. Ronan seemed less sharp in those moments, less like a knife and more like a person. It didn't last long. Kevin asked Ronan something about his father, and the sharpness returned.

"That's our cue to go," Blue said as Ronan stomped to his feet.

"But I want to keep dancing!" Nicky said.

"No, she's right," Neil replied. "It's late, even for us. Let's go home." Neil helped a swaying Nicky while Andrew grabbed Kevin, and he saw Blue half dragging a protesting Ronan out to the car. Neil overheard something about pint sized freak and I could take him,  but he didn't hear Blue's reply. Whatever it was, it made Ronan laugh wickedly.

Neil deposited Nicky in the backseat with Kevin and Aaron and hopped in front next to Andrew. They watched in the mirror as Blue forcibly shoved Ronan into the backseat and held the door open for the raven to fly back in from where it was perched on the roof. Blue climbed into the car and they all drove the 15 minutes or so to the Columbia house, making sure not to lose her. Neil watched Andrew drive as the drunk ones argued in the backseat. "Staring," was all Andrew said, eyes still on the road. Neil only grinned and kept looking.

They pulled up to the house, the BMW just behind. Neil hopped out of the car and unlocked the house door as the others spilled out of their cars, Nicky and Kevin lurching from side to side. Blue was hauling Ronan by one arm with the raven perched on her head. Aaron was mostly upright; he's started drinking less after Katelyn had asked him to.

"Alright Nicky," Neil said. "Don't forget you gave up your room for Blue."

"An act of pure chivalry," Nicky said with a laugh. "To the couch!"

"Aaron, Kevin is going to sleep in the armchair in your room."

"I remember," Aaron said with a shrug. That may have been the most civil exchange they'd ever had, Neil realized after a second. Kevin stumbled inside, complaining about how armchairs always hurt his back, as if he didn't end up on the floor half the time when he was this drunk.

Then it was Blue. "You're in Nicky's room," Neil said. "Just down the hall, second door on the left. We didn't really figure anything out for Ronan, though there's an armchair in the living room. Please keep the bird outside though."

Blue only shrugged. "I'll take him with me. I'll need to keep an eye on him, anyway. Scram, girl." Chainsaw cawed defiantly but eventually flew into the darkness.

Everyone situated, Neil headed up to the room where Andrew was already climbing into bed. Neil threw on his pjs and climbed in after. "Yes or no?"

Andrew thought for a moment. "No." Neil nodded; there were strange people in the house, and it was hard for Andrew to relax even with the bedroom door locked. He probably wouldn't get much sleep tonight. Neil turned off the light and was asleep quickly.

A few hours later he woke with a start as he heard a shriek and a thump downstairs. It sounded like Blue. Neil and Andrew both sat upright in an instant, hands going for knives but coming up empty. They grabbed the knives from the bedside table and ran down the stairs. Chances were that she had simply fallen out of bed, but after the hard lives they had lived it was difficult to ignore any sound that resembled a threat.

Neil gave a loud knock and called, "Coming in!" before opening the door.

Ronan was in the bed, just barely starting to sit up. He had scratches on his face and arms. Blue was standing over a... creature, her pajamas soaked with blood. The thing resembled a bat, almost, only bigger than a person, and it had wicked claws. Neil watched as it took its last breath before Blue plunged a pink knife into its eye.

She looked up at them, hair wild, eyes untrusting. Neil almost expected the knife to come for him next, but then her face settled, as if she had made a decision she didn't like.

"Do you guys know where we can hide a body?"

[thatlesbiannudistcult-stories]

Finding Goddess (Chapter Nine)

Monday arrived, and Carol had a feeling it was going to be a bad day.

She had no idea why. It seemed like any other Monday she had gone through. Country music would blare obnoxiously into her ear, and she would silence it with a forceful slam on the clock radio from whence it came. Then she'd get up, take a shower, fix herself a cup of coffee, brush her teeth, check her phone for messages, catch up on the news online, the usual. So far, so good, everything seemed pretty typical. So why couldn't she shake the feeling that something horrible was going to come crashing down on her?

Perhaps I forgot something? she mused, scratching her chin as she stared out the window lost in thought. It certainly seemed like something was missing...a light bulb winked on in her head. Oh, right, the garbage! That has to be it. Silly me!

Monday was the garbage day, both metaphorically and literally, and Carol had neglected to take hers outside the previous night. She had been too...absorbed in her book. Fortunately, there were plenty of other trash bags lying on the curb, which meant the truck hadn't arrived to pick them up yet. It wasn't too late. After tying her bag up, Carol hopped into her flip-flops and rushed out the door with the trash in hand. The warm summer air that hit her body was a strong contrast to the cooler conditioned air in her home, but she didn't have the time to marvel or groan at the sensation as she rushed to the street to deposit her trash.

A car drove by. In the corner of her vision, Carol noticed it abruptly slowed down and thought the driver did a double-take in her direction. In normal circumstances, she would have just ignored it and moved on, but a sudden honking of his horn forced her to look up just in time to watch him speed away. The mother blinked in confusion.

What was that about?

Across the street, another person rushed outside carrying a trash bag of his own, clearly having the same issue and idea that Carol had. However, upon glancing up in her direction, he stopped dead in his tracks and looked directly at her, his jaw falling to the ground. Confused, Carol just waved at him before turning away, her mind a big question mark.

Wonder what his problem was? Was there something on my face?

Idly, Carol pawed at her face to wipe off whatever had supposedly shocked her neighbor so much. Upon feeling nothing come off it, she decided to take a glance down to see if there was something weird elsewhere on her body. It didn't seem like there were any problems. Her skin was still a little red from the shower, and her bush could use a bit of a trim, but there wasn't really anything worth getting alarmed about—

Hold on a minute...skin? Bush?!

"CRAP!"

Carol practically warped back into her apartment, her every inch of bare skin coated in a fine layer of sweat.

She couldn't believe it! She went outside butt-naked and didn't even realize it! Just like Henrietta did the other day! It hadn't even occurred to her to put any clothes on.

"What the hell is WRONG with us?" she grumbled, trudging to her room to go get some things to put on, feeling more than a little sheepish.

If I hadn't forgotten to take out the trash...or if I hadn't remembered that I forgot to take out the trash...I might have never realized I hadn't dressed yet. I might very well have gone to work just like this!

Carol shuddered at the thought. She didn't care about people seeing her naked at all, but people seeing her forget to do something as fundamental as putting her clothes on? That kind of humiliation would have killed her!

Of course, now that the subject of clothes had fully entered Carol's mind, she now realized precisely why this was going to be such a rotten day. It meant that her nude streak had to finally come to an end and she had to do her least favorite thing in the whole world: dress herself. It was never an easy thing, and after spending three whole days in her perfect natural state, it would be especially hellish today. But she didn't have a choice; she had work today, and she had to be decent at the office.

So biting her lip, Carol set about the arduous task of covering herself. She did not bother putting on any underwear; she had sworn off bras and panties a long time ago and was perfectly happy to go commando. But that didn't mean she could skimp out on anything else. She had stockings to climb into to at least feign a sense of modesty, a white blouse with a built-in shelf bra to make sure her girls didn't bounce around too much, and a business skirt and blazer in matching shades of black to make her look professional. With the addition of her heels, some makeup, and a good combing of her hair, her look was complete.

Carol stared at her clothed self in the mirror and took it all in. She looked good, or at least she supposed she did in the eyes of the business world. Her suit was straight and unwrinkled. Her lips were glossy and red. Her black hair was sleek, shiny, untangled, and "like she just stepped off a spaceship" as her daughter, Mindy, would describe it. In short, she was the perfect image for the modern day businesswoman.

Carol could only sigh at it. She didn't want to look like the perfect modern day businesswoman! She didn't want this suit to look straight on her, she didn't want her lips to look so red, she didn't want her hair to be so tidy. She wanted to wrestle the whole ensemble off her body and hurl it to the ground. She wanted to latch onto the cutest person she could find and leave lip marks all over their skin. She wanted her hair to get tousled and tangled just to tell everyone that she was a wild girl who craved fun and excitement!

She wanted to live like those women who served the Goddess, Zenriah!

Unrestrained!

Free!

Naked!

She had spent a lot of time yesterday reading the Scripture, and those Zenrist girls of ancient times really had it made. It seemed like they didn't have to worry about a thing, save how they were going to get, or give, their next orgasm. Everything about their lives was all about enjoying their bodies and being in love. The thing that every girl would and should ever want. If ever there was an afterlife, Carol hoped it would be like that.

Uh, not that she believed there could ever be an afterlife. Let alone a paradise where women just lived completely naked and had sex with each other and a goddess all the time.

It sure would be nice though.

Carol turned away and marched out of the room, intent to get as far away from the mirror as possible. If she thought about it any longer, thought about her hatred of clothes, or Zenrists, or the book lying on her bed any longer, she might feel the urge to just rip her suit off right now and start masturbating. She already wasted enough time thinking about them.

***

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick...

Her fingers danced gracefully across her keyboard. Her eyes swung back and forth like pendulums across every word that flashed on her screen. Sentences were highlighted, underlined, and deleted with every scurrying motion of her mouse.

But inside her head, Carol was completely dead.

Yes, it was another droning day in the office, full of ennui, humdrum, and piles and piles of textual mush to slog through. Just like it had been last week. And the week before that, and the week before that.

Unfortunately, it was even worse today. Everything felt...tighter around Carol. More constraining. More claustrophobic. Like she was trapped in a cage built entirely around her whole body. Every now and then, she found herself absently tugging at her collar, pulling at her sleeve, or rubbing her legs together to loosen the fabrics closing in on her form, giving her skin a few precious seconds to breathe. But it wasn't enough.

Damn it, she cursed as she pulled at her blouse, which was making her feel especially itchy right around where her nipples were. This is what she got after spending such a long time without any clothes on. Her body always needed to take some time to get used to being wrapped up again, but it was really bad today. If it didn't let up anytime soon, she...she...she didn't even want to think about what would happen.

"Hey, Carol! Working hard, or hardly working?"

"Huh?" Carol half-gasped as she looked up to see just who had so rudely interrupted her anxiety. "Oh. Hi, Harold."

Harold beamed at her with that annoyingly friendly smile of his before he took a sip of his coffee. Though swallowing his drink caused that smile to mercifully flicker away, if only for a moment. "Bleck, coffee's especially bitter today," he said, pulling a retching expression before taking another sip.

"Then why are you drinking it?" said Carol, who decided she could use the small talk, if only to provide a distraction from her discomfort.

"Didn't get much sleep last night. Let's just say we ran into some car trouble on the way home from my son's grandparents that delayed us for...a little while," he grumbled, adding some unintelligible cursing under his breath.

"Is your car starting to break down?"

"No, the problem wasn't the car," Harold sighed, embarrassment starting to seep into his voice. "The problem was that...I couldn't get it out of the driveway." Upon saying that, he took another swig of his drink, doing so in a way that was far more fitting for a bottle of scotch than a mug of coffee.

"I...see," said Carol. "That must be quite the story."

"Yeah, one I could do without telling right now. But that's the story of my weekend. How was yours?"

Carol froze. Her weekend. That was the one thing she didn't want to think about right now. The one thing she couldn't afford to think about right now. Because if she did...she just might...

"It...was good," she stated robotically.

"You do anything fun?"

"Um..."

I spent three days straight totally, completely, and utterly naked? I walked around in public without a stitch of clothing on? I met some brilliant women and had sex with them? I learned about a crazy cult consisting of nudist lesbians?

"Uh, Carol? Are you okay?" said Harold as he waved a hand in front of her face.

"I...I..." she murmured. She needed to find something to say, something to satisfy her co-worker's curiosity, something that didn't involve her unclothed weekend hijinks. It wasn't an appropriate thing to bring up in the office after all...and it was once again making her feel tight all over as her yearning to return to that perfect state of being started to come back in full force.

Desperately, she darted her eyes toward every possible direction she could, hoping to find something to latch onto. She did, in the form of the little black mug in Harold's hands. "C...coffee."

"Excuse me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I...I went to New Deastone with a friend!" said Carol. "Yeah. A new coffee shop opened up there, and she wanted to check it out."

Yeah, that sounded good. She went to New Deastone over the weekend for "coffee." It was a good lie because it was completely true! She and Henrietta did stop by a coffee shop after all. And they had plenty of "coffee" on the way there. Hot, exotic, sexy, permanently naked coffee...

"Sounds like it was a pretty relaxing weekend for you then," said Harold. "I take it you're able to trust leaving your kids alone in the house?"

"Huh? Oh, Mindy and Erin? I didn't need to worry about them. They weren't home. They took a trip with their friends to Duny Beach. They'll be gone for the week." Already, Carol could feel her inner tensions ease up. She just dodged a bullet, and redirected the conversation to other matters. Matters that had nothing to do with sex or nudity. Her sanity was safe.

"Duny Beach, eh? That's nice this time of year. Oh, if only I could be in school again and enjoy these sweet summer vacations. Wouldn't mind catching some waves myself." Harold suddenly paused and furrowed his brow as a ponderous expression poured over him.

"What's going on?" said Carol. "Is something wrong?”

"No, no, nothing's wrong," said Harold. "It's just...I heard that they recently opened up some nude beaches there."

Carol froze again, so stiffly even her heart stopped. "What?"

"Yeah, there are nude beaches there. Or maybe just clothing-optional ones. But yeah, either way, there are places in Duny where you can just take it all off and run around in the altogether."

Take it all off. Carol really wanted to take it all off. Her clothes were beginning to close around her again. She could feel her blouse tightening around her neck, threatening to cut off her air. She tugged at her collar.

"Wh-what are you saying?" she stammered.

"I'm not saying anything," said Harold. "Just that, if your daughters aren't careful, they might find themselves out of their swimsuits. Especially if they're friends with some dirty little devils." He chuckled good-naturedly as he took another sip of coffee. "Don't be surprised if they come home flustered with some funny little stories they have no intention of telling you."

"Ha...yeah. I'll...keep that in mind," said Carol, speaking slowly so as to take long, deep breaths between her words. It was getting hard to breathe in her clothes. Hell, it was getting hard to exist in them. Her breasts were pressing so hard against the fabric of her top that it hurt. A strip of cloth was starting to drip in between her buttocks that they started to itch. Her legs felt so stiff that she unconsciously rubbed them together just to remind herself that they were not clamped within a vice. And the light scratching sound of her nylons grinding against each other was like nails on a chalkboard.

"Not that you need them to tell you anything," Harold continued. "You could probably find plenty of similar stories online. Would you believe that there actually exists this subgenre of fiction on the internet where people, usually women, lose their clothes and get stuck running around naked? It's the silliest thing ever. I would have never guessed such a thing existed if my son hadn't accidentally left a webpage to one open on his laptop. And all this time, I thought he wasn't one for reading. Shows how much I know about my own kid."

Things were getting really unbearable for Carol. Her vision was starting to blur. Her head was growing heavy on her shoulders. Her clothes were getting tighter all around her. If she didn't do something about them real soon, either they'd crush her body into a squishy mess, or her body would break them apart at the seams.

"I won't confront him about it, though. And I won't tell his mother either," said Harold. "It's just regular teenage curiosity. Not our business and we've talked about these things a lot with him in the past. But I have to wonder what he would actually do if he did find a girl like that? A girl who'd be willing to strip down and run around naked for him at a moment's notice."

"I gotta go!" Carol cried, shooting up to her feet so forcefully she blasted her chair straight into the wall.

"Oh, well, yeah, I guess I should too. Nice talking to you."

Carol paid him no mind as she rushed off as fast as her heels would allow. She knew it was rude to run off like that in the middle of a conversation, she knew she was likely drawing stares, but she couldn't help it. She had to get away, she had to hide, she had to find the one place in the entire office that would grant her sanctuary.

She found it as she all but ran through the door of the ladies room, causing a couple of women exiting it to leap to the side in surprise as she blazed past them.

"Whoa! What's got into her?" said one.

"She must've had Mexican for breakfast."

Carol ignored them as she dove into one of the toilet stalls, thankful to see they were all empty and clean. Upon slamming both the door and the toilet lid shut, she wasted no time in beginning the frantic task of taking her clothes off, or at least her top, where the worst of her discomfort was. She hatefully hurled her blazer onto the floor, quietly relishing the whipping sound it made as it collided with the toilet before hooking her fingers onto the bottom of her blouse and pulling them upward.

"Ahhhhhh!" she sighed as she felt the air pour over her breasts the second the fabric was pulled completely away from them. They bounced freely in the air once, large and proud, the nubs of their nipples standing tall and at attention, before settling down to a gentle jiggle and coming to a complete rest upon her chest.

"Mmmm," she murmured as she ran her hands over them, just to see for herself that they really were bare, really were free, the way she liked them to be. They were. So soft and warm and squishy, save for her nipples, which were hard and pointy enough to pop a balloon. Words could not describe how much she loved her breasts, loved to touch them, loved to be touched on them, by either human hands or the elements. It was good to have them out, good to have them exposed. It was like they could breathe, come alive, and enjoy life with her.

She wasn't as naked as she liked to be, but it was nevertheless the panacea she needed. The tension all around her dissipated like fog in the wind.

"Phew, thought I was going to die," she mumbled. "I wonder what that was all about?"

Now that Carol wasn't feeling so claustrophobic, she was able to think rationally again. Wearing clothing was always discomforting for her, but it never got that bad before. Was it because she hadn't had a naked streak that long or that...public in over twenty years? Or ever for that matter? Did she not give her body enough time to acclimate itself to clothing? Did the Zenrists in New Deastone have an effect on her?

The Zenrists. Just thinking about those nudist lesbian cultists made Carol sigh wistfully. It always came back to them. They got to enjoy such an unprecedented level of freedom, the likes of which she could only dream about. If I was Zenrist, this wouldn't be a problem. I could just come into the office naked as the day I was born. I wouldn't have to worry about dressing right, dressing neatly, or getting dressed at all.

She looked down at her bare boob and squeezed it tenderly. I could let my girls jiggle and bounce all they liked. I could even play with them all I liked! That thought brought a smile to her face and prompted her to flick her nipple around playfully. The feeling was good, it was arousing, and more than anything else, it was strangely calming. The fact that she could find time in the day to pleasure herself slightly like this seemed to fill her with a sense of peace. Much like how she imagined the Zenrists felt when they pleasured themselves, knowing they were fulfilling their purpose to Almighty Zenriah.

But I can't ever be one. I can't believe in the Goddess like they do.

Carol's smile melted into a frown. Here she was, a nudist, an exhibitionist, a woman who hated clothes, who would gladly shuck them off forever if she could, but was doomed to spend eternity stuck within them. All because she was not a religious woman. The Zenrists got to run around naked all the time, and she had to hide in a bathroom just to enjoy a moment of relief. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all.

There's nothing I can do about that though, she thought with a sad shake of her head. So there's no point in even thinking about it. I need to focus on what really matters: my job.

Yes, her job. Which she had to get back to sooner rather than later, and hopefully without having another freak-out. So with a heavy heart, Carol picked her blouse up off the floor and slipped it over her chest, almost wincing in pain as she felt her boobs get smothered in the hated fabric once more. Her blazer quickly followed. After taking a moment to primp her hair in front of the mirror and make sure she was tidy, the wannabe nudist exited the bathroom, intent to put every thought about Zenrism and nudity behind her.

Unfortunately, she didn't walk two steps out before the thoughts returned in full force when a girl holding a stack of papers nearly crashed into her. "Oh, excuse me!" the girl whimpered as she stumbled in place, tightening her grip on the sheets to keep them from flying in every conceivable direction.

Carol took a look at her. She was a pretty young thing, likely an intern still in college, with chestnut hair tied back in a ponytail, and wearing a pair of glasses that made her look younger and more innocent than she actually was, an effect that was only further heightened by the nervous demeanor she was exhibiting through her wide startled eyes and shaking hands.

"Oh, uh...it's no bother," Carol mumbled apologetically as she took a step back to allow the girl to continue on her way. "Don't mind me."

The intern nodded and did just that, but Carol didn't let her out of her sight. She turned her gaze to watch her go, taking note of the innocent flower's hips that she knew were swaying deliciously under that business skirt of hers.

If I was a Zenrist...then I could just pick her up and have my way with her. I could just tear her clothes off, see what she's like under there, completely devour her...

She could already imagine how the encounter would go. She would approach the tiny little girl with her completely naked body, walking with just the right swagger that would leave the intern absolutely star-struck. Then Carol would scoop her up in her strong arms, carry her to her desk like a bride, rip her clothes off until she had only what her parents gave her, and trib her brains out. Carol would mash her clit into hers, press her boobs into the intern's face, make her suck and worship her nipples like they were the Goddess' themselves. And then the two of them would cum. All over the desk, on the floor. And everyone would watch. It was enough to make Carol lick her lips hungrily.

But with her fantasy came another uncomfortable realization. Once more, it reminded her that she was not a Zenrist. She was an ordinary woman, and she had to wear clothes. And the clothes she was wearing were starting to close in around her again.

Carol gulped. It was just like she thought it would be when she woke up this morning; this was going to be a bad day.

[crazygirlsworldofbooks]

Review: Before She Knew Him

“They had a secret, the two of them, and there was no better way to start a friendship than with a secret.”

Book: Before She Knew Him

Author: Peter Swanson

My Rating: ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ (4 Stars)

Read: November 5, 2020

Synopsis: Hen and her husband Lloyd have settled into a quiet life in a new house outside of Boston, Massachusetts. Hen (short for Henrietta) is an illustrator and works out of a studio nearby, and has found the right meds to control her bipolar disorder. Finally, she’s found some stability and peace. But when they meet the neighbors next door, that calm begins to erode as she spots a familiar object displayed on the husband’s office shelf. The sports trophy looks exactly like one that went missing from the home of a young man who was killed two years ago. Hen knows because she’s long had a fascination with this unsolved murder—an obsession she doesn’t talk about anymore, but can’t fully shake either...

My Review:

After the last book I read proved to be such a disaster and was a genre totally out of my comfort zone, erotica, I went back to one of my favorite genres, mystery/thrillers and picked this book up randomly. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I liked the synopsis and gave it a shot. Well, I was very pleasantly surprised. This book is a good psychological thriller, just like I was hoping for. I will definitely be reading the other books by this author.

The book centers around a couple, Hen and Lloyd, who move into a new house together and after having dinner with their new neighbors things transpire and Hen becomes convinced that their neighbor, Matthew is a serial killer and a whole chain of events ensues. The premise of the book itself was very interesting to me and it delivered.

To begin with, the plot of the book, as I’ve mentioned before, was up there in my opinion. I’m fairly new to thriller mysteries but I’ve read some and this one was unique enough to peek my interest. The book itself moved at a decent pace, although the first have of the novel dragged just a little bit. We didn’t find out much until a good portion into it and I prefer books that reveal a little bit at a time but even with that minor flaw I didn’t want to put the book down. That is the only negative I found with this book and the reason I gave it four and not five stars.

Further on, the characterization was pretty good. It could have been better if it was written from first person but even without that, we got a good look into the various characters’ psyches and I loved finding out what made them tick and why the were the way that they were. If a character doesn’t have a drive behind why they are a certain way it really ruins the book for me but in this case the backstory was really delivered well and I was satisfied on that front. Overall, the characters were above average I would say.

In continuation, when talking about the writing style, it was precise and to the point, just how I like it. It was easy to follow along and brought the story to life very well. It definitely helped me to keep reading, even when the pace of the story lagged a bit. As I have mentioned before, I will be checking out the other works from this author because I really enjoyed this one a lot.

In conclusion, I would recommend this book to anyone who loves a good psychological thriller. It might not be the most exciting for the first half of the book but it picks up and more than makes up for the lack in the beginning. I don’t particularly know if this is a read that will stay with me for a long time but it was definitely somewhat memorable and enjoyable while I was reading it in the moment.

[bughead-fic-request]

I would like to thank @leaalda for making these amazing banners.

This is an effort to spread the word about all fan fiction writers in our little fandom. If you would like to be featured or nominate a writer, please contact me. Please reblog this post if you can and check out some of @avenuepotter work!

1. First things first, if someone wanted to read your stories where can they find them.

AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/users/AvenuePotter

FanFiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/~avenuepotter

2. Tell us a little about yourself.

I’m chronically ill and it affects my creative output and my availability to others online (and for projects). Currently I’m off work, awaiting treatment (which is killing me!!! My job is my life). Also, I was a vidder long before I ever started writing fan fic and I tend to see myself more as a vidder than a writer or manipulator of photos. (Even though I do all three).

3. What do you never leave home without?

My cell phone. It’s my freakin’ LIFE. A close second is my viding laptop – can’t travel without it. Feels like I’m missing a part of me if it’s not available when I need it.

4. Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Is this a trick question? LOL. I’m a definitive night owl – on any North American time zone. When I’m out and about working my RL job, I work all shifts but my cutoff is 2am CST and I try really hard not to start work before 10am most weeks. Even though I tend to stop working between midnight-3am (depending on the time zone) it’s always been very difficult for me to fall asleep at night (unless the sun is freaking coming up LOL, but then I guess it’s not night anymore, is it?).

5. If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?

Bespin (Cloud City) from The Empire Strikes Back. It is GORGEOUS there, Han & Leia’s love for each other deepened there, and the fashion of the citizens can’t be beat. And it’s on another planet . . . so spaceships from all over the galaxy go in and out of there all the time. *sigh* Too bad the Empire took over and the bottom dropped out of the housing market. LOL. Must have been all the smudges on the walls from the laser blasts. 😉

6. Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met?

This is difficult to answer due to where/how I grew up. So, I’m going to limit this answer to a celebrity that I did not know personally before I met them and basically fangirled over when I did (which I don’t do often). He was the most exciting celebrity I have met to date. At the time I met him, I was working on a documentary series and I’m a HUGE fan of many producers of fine television shows (way more so than actors). My favorite show of all time is Farscape and I got to interview Rockne O’Banon, the creator of the show for our series. I was shaking in my boots the whole time – I was so nervous just asking questions from behind the camera. I told our executive producer that my voice would have to be dubbed when it was over. Ironically, it just recently popped up in my Facebook notifications that he and I have been friends for 7 years or something like that – basically since right after the interview. I was blown away. STILL.

7. What are some of your favorite movies/TV?

FARSCAPE

Riverdale

Star Wars (The Empire Strikes Back is my favorite movie of all time)

Gattaca

Bladerunner

Spaceballs

Heathers

Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

12 Monkeys

Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel the Series

Mad Men

Law & Order: SVU

Twin Peaks

My Little Pony

Babylon 5

The Tudors

Gossip Girl

90210

iZombie

13 Reasons Why

American Horror Story – Especially Asylum, Coven, & Roanoke

The X-Files

. . . Damn, do I consume enough visual media or what? These are just the ones I like enough to put down as absolute favorites.

8. What are some of your favorite bands/musicians?

The Pet Shop Boys. That’s it folks. I love them.

9. Favorite Books?

The Night They Stole The Alphabet

The Harry Potter Series (and NO, “Avenue Potter” has nothing to do with this LOL. I don’t often discuss my love for this series online to avoid confusion)

The Lunar Chronicles

The Memoirs of Cleopatra (and basically anything else that Margaret George writes)

The Twilight and Dark Forces series of books from the 1980’s

Twilight (the series everyone knows, which makes it almost impossible to find the aforementioned Twilight books from the 80’s now)

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

Pox (a book about Syphilis – my favorite disease)

Deadly Feasts (a book about BSE)

Plague, Pox, and Pestilence

The Barbary Plague

Snow Crash & Zodiac by Neal Stephenson

The Dune Series by Frank Herbert

The Ender and Bean books by Orson Scott Card

Nefertiti & The Heretic Queen (and basically anything else that Michelle Moran writes)

ANY iteration of Snow White – I am obsessed with this fairytale (Cheryl Blossom’s mom is the Evil Queen’s psychic twin, I swear! Poor Cheryl)

10. Favorite Food?

Sourdough bread

11. Biggest pet peeve?

Nasty food. Hehe. Like Potatoes, Celery, Cinnamon, etc. . . . the list goes on and on. Bleech. Yucky. I am personally offended by nasty food. I find it obscene.

12. What did you want to be when you were little? What do you want to be now?

When I was little I wanted to be a producer/director of film and television. Now? I just love my current job in science so much I couldn’t imagine doing that stuff for a living anymore (although technically I produce training videos as part of my job because of my background in it). I prefer to keep my creative stuff as a hobby so that it’s relaxing to me and so that I can create better stuff. It can be a true creative outlet for my emotions if I’m not doing it for work. I never imagined that I’d feel this way when I was young, but I definitely do now.

13. What are your biggest fears? Do you have any strange fears?

Yeah, I have a true phobia: THE PLUG. Normal people know it as the drain. Like at the bottom of a pool. *shudder*

14. When you are on your deathbed what would be the one thing you’d regret not doing?

Not doing SOMETHING to help male victims of sexual abuse by females. It’s like a hot button issue for me when I hear about men being abused and treated like sissies (or worse) for it afterwards (this goes for straight up domestic violence as well). Over the course of my lifetime, I’ve seen things I can’t unsee and I wish I could help to stop this kind of suffering. But I’m female – the last person I think a victim of this kind of abuse would want help from.

However, I’ve spoken with someone who knows I write and she said perhaps I can write about this issue – bring awareness to it. Well, I write plenty of non-con fanfics where the victim is often male and the perpetrator/s female (and even a few vids, cause some shows are bold enough to actually cover this topic). And I almost always explore how it affects their life afterwards, how they cope and are forever changed by it (not all have been published). She suggested writing about my experiences with this issue in a non-fiction setting (ie – writing about what I’ve actually witnessed and experienced) and try to get that stuff published to a wider audience than fan fic to bring awareness to this issue and to let the world know that it is NOT OKAY despite current social norms. She says that’s one way I can help. Perhaps I’ll get up the courage to do that someday. As you guys can probably guess, I’m not the biggest fan of Miss Grundy.

Okay… lets talk about your writing!

15. Which is your favorite of the fics you've written for the Bughead fandom?

Initiation - because it deals with Jughead being raped by two Serpent women. But I know non-con is not everyone’s cup of tea and can be triggering, so I expect a low readership. I’m still proud of what I’ve done with it, though.

16. Which was the hardest to write, in terms of plot?

As I Lay Dying …. My Bughead Hamlet. It was really hard trying to force Jughead and Betty into the Hamlet and Ophelia roles and still keep them true to character. I did have to compromise a little because the main scene I focused on for this fic is the nunnery scene where Hamlet is a TOTAL dick to Ophelia. I found it difficult to make Jughead be that way to Betty, and had to make him more like Hamlet than Jughead in some parts.

17. How do you come up with the ideas for you fic(s)? Do you people watch? Listen to music? Get inspired by TV/movies?

Definitely not music. In no way, shape or form. Ironic, no? Yes, I’m a vidder but I have a very complicated relationship with music – and it’s not necessarily a positive one. For my vids I am almost NEVER inspired by music – I have a story to tell and then I have to go hunt for some song that fits it and can bear the repetition that editing demands. A painful task. Ugh. Currently I want to do a Bughead shipper vid, but finding the music is holding me up. And then of course, happy vids aren’t my strong suit either, so I’m not seeing a lot of payoff here.

But inspiration for fanfic? Well the show itself can leave major holes to fill. I LOVE those holes. I LIVE for canon-based filler fic! As a writer and a reader. And I’m visually inspired. Looking at stuff, analyzing it – going through shots frame by frame, etc – all spark my creativity. Just seeing Juggie looking sad or Betty looking at him in ‘just that way’ or even seeing the actors in some random publicity or candid photo with an unexpected background can inspire new thoughts I want to explore. And of course, bouncing ideas off of other fans generates muses as well.

But not requests or prompts. I try to avoid those. I have WAY too many muses of my own already and I just feel too much pressure from requests and if I took them, I wouldn’t be writing for me anymore. Turns it into a job, if you know what I mean. But sometimes some random prompt I find on Tumblr that I don’t even mean to run across will spark something. But it’s almost never what the prompt is asking for. I’m a weirdo. My mind doesn’t stay where it’s supposed to. 😊

18. Idea that you always wanted to write but could never make work?

I don’t really have an idea that I struggle with – more like a whole category. I really struggle with AU (cause I’m a slave to canon), but I’m working through yet another one right now for Riverdale. It’s good to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Especially if you’re inspired to do so. Don’t hold yourself back.

My first AU (in another fandom) was total crack, but I needed to break through and just do it, you know? I think pushing myself like that and breaking that barrier really helped improve my writing overall.

19. Least favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

God, I must be so vain because I like all my stuff. It’s like my vids (even the kinda crappy ones) – I find them entertaining, because I’m creating something I happen to like. Things that make me FEEL. Shows, ships, characters, situations I enjoy. Making them my own – exploring issues the show may never explore that I think are important. Not to say I haven’t been insecure about my writing. Because I have been. Definitely. OMG. It took being married to my husband for over a year and his gentle encouragement to start sharing stuff online. Stuff I’d written years ago. (I’ve been writing since I was 10 – and not just fanfic – it’s such a great outlet). My husband was the first person to actually believe in me as a writer. He somehow got me to read him my only published Buffy fic (which is about rape) on our FIRST DATE. I still don’t understand how that happened. My father told me he was just saying that he liked my writing to get in my pants, but boy was he wrong! He was saying it to get a ring on my finger! LOL

But it took the really nice comments I’ve gotten on my fic in the SVU fandom to make me really feel like a writer and not just a vidder who dabbles in stories from time to time. And they’ve been rewarded with 33 fics from me so far because of it. Which is a lot more than any of the other fandoms I write for. That’s the power of comments. 😊 Support the fic and writers you love and you’ll get more content.

20. Favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

In my story Jellybeans, I have a 5 year-old Jughead with trust issues. . . His distrust of the situation quickly outweighed his desire, as would often be the case for him well into adulthood . . . And this (mainly flashback) fic takes place right after Betty & Jughead’s epic fight at his 16th birthday party – but before they go to Pop’s. And this is one of his issues with Betty at this time. He may desire Betty, but his fear of good things turning on him is still alive and well at age 16.

21.Favorite character to write?

JUGHEAD. I can “feel” him - if you know what I mean. And I’m finding that I really like to write him first person. Although he’s a “past tense” speaker/thinker to me and I naturally write in present tense. So, it really stretches my mind and I have to work harder to write him thinking and experiencing life in past tense. But I LOVE it! Honestly, Betty is more difficult for me to find. Though I find that I have a harder time connecting with female characters in general. (Mommy issues) So I chalk it up to that.

22. Favorite line or lines of dialogue that you've written?

Currently, it’s from my Bughead fic, Unrequited:

“You know, I liked you just fine as you were. No, I loved you, Betty.”

“Loved.”

“Yeah.”

There was that word just hung in the air between us, so presently in the past tense.

23. Best comment/review you’ve ever received?

“Okay! I saw that this was updated and was like one of the happiest people EVER! This is one of my favorite fics on this site, and one of the ones that actually got me into the SVU fandom, and this chapter, as usual, was perfect. It's always in character and always keeps me wanting to read more. But then again that's true for everything you write! Love it and happy to see it's being continued, even as your becoming more involved in other fandoms! Major kudos!”

This was a comment I received on Stolen Moments from @oblivioncastro when I released Chapter 50. I was completely blown away by this, because although I’ve been used to my vids turning people on to certain fandoms (using them as recruiting tools – muhahaha!), I never expected one of my fics to be able to do this. WOW just WOW. The other fandom that is referred to in this comment is Bughead/Riverdale BTW. 😊 Oh how I’ve strayed . . .

24. How do you handle bad reviews or comments?

Well, if they’re straight up trolling, which is pretty obvious TBH, then I just delete them. Just like when my ex-brother in law used to call me fat (which I am) because he thought he could hurt me that way, and I was like “please, try harder. that’s just so predictable & pathetic.” Now, when the criticism is based on something REAL, like “I’m confused about what you’re trying to do here” or “you didn’t characterize so and so correctly,” etc. this is valuable feedback to have. The only problem is EVERY single comment I’ve gotten like this comes from an anon that I can’t ask questions of – and I usually have BURNING questions because I want to improve and do a better job next time. I handle this by commenting back in my comment thread hoping they’ll come back and answer but they never do. In one particular case, I just don’t write a particular ship any more – I don’t write it well apparently (the commenter made many excellent points which I mostly agreed with) but I never got any feedback on how to improve, so I just gave up on trying. It’s not a great loss though, because they’re not a primary ship of mine – just one that compliments my OTP in another fandom. But it’s still frustrating.

25. If you could change anything in any of your stories, what would it be?

Be able to have found a beta for everything I’ve posted. I hate releasing stuff unbeta’d, but I’ve just had to do it sometimes ‘cause I couldn’t find anyone.

26. What is your favorite story you’ve ever written? Any fandom?

Stolen Moments – my EPIC Rollisi filler fic for SVU. It’s 50 chapters long and going (64K I believe). Why is it my favorite? Mainly because its FILLER. I could be happy as a clam writing nothing but filler. And SVU gives us a LOT of holes to play with.

But also, it’s my most popular fic and I’ve made friends with some of the readers. It reminds me of vidding – I’ve made many friends through vidding, even technically met my husband through vidding – he was a fan of my Buffy vids before we ever met. I like making friends. I like sharing. Any piece of fan work that can bring people together gives me much joy.

27. What are you reading right now? Both fan fiction and general fiction?

A shit ton of comics and graphic novels. I’m visual. All of the new Archie stuff except for Josie and the Pussycats (I can’t handle the music aspect of it), including the Archie Horror comics (Jughead The Hunger is Amazeballs!), Wayward, Revival, Paper Girls, Saga. And I’m listening to Confessions of a Young Nero, Margaret George’s latest book, on Audible when I need to be in the dark and can’t use my eyes. The horror! The horror!

As for fan fiction I’m limiting myself to just two right now – and it’s taking me forever to get through them (but it’s good to be savoring them, right?) because I want to leave meaningful comments as I go along. I happen to be a slow reader, too. (Shhh, don’t tell anyone). The two fics are B.C. I Love You by @jugheadszombie (OMG weep!) and Softening the Edges by @bughead-bound (so precious). I have Bizarre Love Triangle by @ficmuse lined up next for when I get caught up with those. I don’t usually read two at time, but I was travelling when I first downloaded those two onto my tablet and things just happened, okay? (Yes, this was weeks ago – I told you I was slow)

28. Do you have any advice for writers that want to get into this fandom but might be scared?

This is a hard one. I am very new to the Riverdale/Bughead fandom myself and I’ve never really been a shy one. I just jumped right in without much fear, so I’m not sure I can truly understand the anxiety surrounding starting to write for this fandom and give advice on how to deal with it. Extroverts aren’t always the best people to advise introverts I’ve found. We experience the world very differently and what works for me DEFINITELY does not work for my extremely shy Bestie. And vice versa. But I did find a pix that might answer this question (cause I’m visual and all):

AND THAT MOVIE GOT MADE!

[astoryinred]

11 queries

11 questions

Tagged by @picturesoitlasts to answer 11 questions and ask 11 new questions.

1. When did something start out badly for you but in the end, it was great?

-Medical internship. Started off feeling inept, ended up feeling great

2. Where do you get your news?

-6pm daily news TV, but I also keep checking FB every day

3. Which scene in a book/show/film has recently inspired you and why?

-From “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks”---the scene wherein Deborah Lacks gets to visit a lab and learns properly what the HeLa cells really are. 

4. Do you ever go out of your comfort zone for other people?

-Pretty much. That’s part of my life.  5. What was the last photo you took?

-Not sure if it was food or a selfie

6. You can travel to 3 different places in 2018. Where do you go?

-Vietnam, Poland, and Japan

7. What is the most expensive thing you own?

-The PC

8. Do you like your first name or would you like to choose a new name for yourself?

-It’s pretty much okay, I guess

9. What character in a book/show/film could have been great, but the writer(s) ruined everything?

-I’m still salty about how Faramir was portrayed in the screen adaptation of LOTR. 

10. What hits you with waves of nostalgia?

-Music. Specifically songs from the 90s

11. When was a time you acted like you didn’t give a fuck but you were actually going crazy inside?

-Not getting into the residency program I had tried out for. I was all “Oh it’s not for me”, but inside I was wondering if I was a failure as a doctor. 

Now for the 11 questions:

1. What gets you out of bed in the morning?

2. What issues are you passionate about?

3. If you could invite 3 people (celebrities, idols, fictional personalities, etc) to your dream dinner party, who would you invite?

4. What will you tick off next on your bucket list?

5. Would you pick the one you love, or the one who loves you?

6. Cats or dogs?

7. Which year in world history would you want to alter?

8. What’s indispensable in your self-care routine?

9. What’s your favorite word?

10. What’s your take on the concept of regret?

11. Share a meme. 

Tagging @bisexual-eponine, @viridescentlights, @kylorenvevo, @enjolrasthechief, @cosetteskywalker

[wiremagazine]

IN MEMORIAM: HENRIETTA ROBINSON. A LIFE WELL LIVED

By Rafa Carvajal Photos provided by Henrietta’s friends

It is with great sadness that I write this In Memoriam about Henrietta Robinson, a beloved member of our LGBTQ community who lived in South Beach for over 60 years and passed away last week from COVID-19. I was in my office at Q Link Wireless when I heard the news about Henrietta’s passing, and I could not help but to start crying. Once I was able to compose myself, my thoughts shifted to that day I sat next to Henrietta for three hours at the "Cheers" bar downstairs at TWIST and listened attentively, over cocktails, to her wonderful and fascinating stories about her life and the history of South Beach. I will treasure those memories for the rest of my life.

As soon as she turned 18, Henrietta ran away from a very unstable family life in Boston and came to South Beach. Henrietta knew she was gay as a kid and was ostracized by her family and friends, but once she left, Henrietta never looked back. It actually took her family a full year to realize Henrietta was living in South Beach.

What better way to honor Henrietta’s memory and celebrate her life than to let some people who knew her well tell us why she was such a special person – in their own words.

Rafa Carvajal: What is your fondest memory of Henrietta? Peter Morales: My fondest memory of Henrietta was meeting her in the early-mid ‘90s at the Warsaw Ballroom where she would usually stand on the second floor overlooking the people dancing on the dance floor and enjoying life. She would always say hello to me when I walked by, with a huge smile, and always was full of compliments, and had a positive outlook on life about everything and everyone. She was such a happy and content person. Nathan Smith: My fondest memory of Henrietta would have to be the times she spent at my bar every Saturday and Sunday night. She would always come early, always have the same seat, and she had a special cup. I bought her many throughout the years, but it was always so important to me that she had a different glass than everyone else. She deserved to feel special and honored. She was an icon and having her sit at my bar was an honor. David Johnson: One of my fondest memories of Henrietta is how she made her birthday a true celebration of life. It felt as though we were all part of her family there to share in the fabulous festivities! Every year, she made us all feel connected to her life by bringing us together. Mario Trejo: My fondest memory of Henrietta is from back in 2009. She and Don Chung came over to my house and cooked a special dinner for me and my then boyfriend at the time. She had been asking me to come over and cook for us, when it finally happened Henrietta was so excited and happy to do it. She made us a lobster and pasta dish that was out of this world. I felt honored that she wanted to come over and do that for us. The true essence of a giving heart is the joy they receive from giving and seeing the reaction and appreciation on that person’s face. That was her reward, her joy and her love.

RC: What made Henrietta such a special person? Joel Stedman: Simply her being her. Henrietta was a constant in many of our lives in nightlife. We attended almost every White Party together, she never missed a TWIST anniversary and every year was a feature in our float presentation for Miami Beach Gay Pride. I enjoyed her immensely. Her smile, her laugh, what amazing stories she would tell. She was that one person you could always walk up to and had nothing but sweet things to say. It is the end of an era, losing both her and Richard within the same year. When it is safe for all of us to get together again, we will have a mad celebration in her honor. Somebody will have to bring the cookies. PM: Henrietta always glowed and shined wherever you saw her. She was a beam of light with a bright aura. Everyone always wanted to say hello to Henrietta, speak with her, and, of course, have their picture taken with her! NS: What made Henrietta so special is that she always lived her truth. Henrietta did what made her happy and gave no apologies for who she was. She was and always will be an example for us all to be our true authentic selves. DJ: Her unique style set her apart from all the rest! Henrietta always had a warm and loving smile to share with everyone. Her iconic personality lit up any room and made everyone feel happy and at ease. MT: Henrietta loved to give. She was a true giver and she did it better than anyone. She gave from her heart whether it was your favorite dish, favorite dessert, or a Christmas gift wrapped in an envelope. This woman prided herself not only on wearing the best Bob Mackie ensembles and finest diamond, gold and platinum jewelry (all custom made), but also in her giving – and I can’t stress that enough! I remember for Christmas she would give everyone $100 bill in an envelope, and she went to all the gay clubs in South Beach. She made it a point to go to TWIST, Palace, Score and Mova, and give everyone an envelope. You could see the joy on her face as she gave it to you. That was her reward, to see you get excited and happy made her happy. On that she was consistent until the very end. The last thing I remember her making for Nathan, myself, JD, Michael, and many others at TWIST before it closed from the coronavirus pandemic, was brownies (not the fun brownies lol). They were so delicious! We ate them with a fresh cup of coffee from Nathan’s coffee maker. She always cooked or baked weekly and had that, “I can’t wait to give it to them attitude.” She would walk up the stairs in bar 4 with her big Saks Fifth Avenue bag filled with all the dishes she was going to hand out that night, and she did that almost every Saturday without fail! She lived to give. It was who she was.

RC: What else would you like to share with Wire Magazine readers about Henrietta? PM: Henrietta was always so thoughtful throughout our years of friendship, especially during the holiday seasons with her beyond amazing and delicious lasagnas, baked goods and pies. Several years ago she gifted me a 21-piece "Temp-tations" Ovenware Kitchen Bake Set for cooking and serving since she knew I loved to cook, and that I always cooked for my entire family during the holiday seasons. I cherish and love this cookset so much and think of her every time I use it.

I will miss seeing Henrietta and speaking with her, but I will never forget Henrietta, and especially how she made me feel every time we saw each other. NS: She loved you all. Nothing made Henrietta happier than when people would approach her for a picture, and she loved hearing your life stories and telling you hers. She loved helping anyone and everyone out, whether it was with a plate of her food, advice or guidance. She wanted the best for everyone. I know she would have wanted all of you to take away from her passing to be safe and stay at home until this virus is under control. Henrietta would also have wanted you to always love each other, but love yourself first and be yourself proudly. RIP Henrietta. I will always love you and your place at the bar will always be there. Sending everyone lots of love and good energy. Xoxo. DJ: Henrietta loved to check up on me. I must admit I will truly miss the call I received once a week when Henrietta called just to say hello. MT: Henrietta touched my heartstrings even deeper than her coming over to my place to cook, bringing us delicious desserts and dishes. It was when my 21-year-old nephew Andrew came from California to stay with me in 2010. He and Henrietta had this incredible instant connection/bond when they met at TWIST, and they would go out to different places like Palace, Score and, of course, TWIST. Andrew would go get Henrietta and take her to whatever bar she was in the mood for that day, and they would have fun. My nephew even convinced her to go to Wet Willie‘s, of all places, and that’s when Henrietta back in the day would drink her rum and Coke with lemon. Andrew always had a blast with her and he would say “OMG uncle Mario, Henrietta is too funny,” with her quick and amazing stories. As you all know, she had great stories to tell. So for all of her great qualities and attributes, her taking my nephew under her wing and vice versa, I will always love her mostly for that!

I also want to share some excerpts from the Wire Magazine interview of Henrietta by Thomas Barker from June 2011, when Henrietta was celebrating her 50 year anniversary in South Beach. Visit wiremag.com to read the extended version of Henrietta’s In Memoriam and the full interview from 2011.

At age 19 Henrietta saw her first drag show. At age 22, she dressed up as a woman for the very first time (other than when she was 10 or 11 and dressed up in her sisters' clothes). She won Miss Florida in 1969 singing, not lip-synching, "On a Clear Day You Can See Forever." Then, after her favorite uncle died in the early '80s, she never wore men's clothes again! Her outfit became permanent.

"When my uncle passed away, that's when I said that's it," Henrietta recounted. "I started living that way from then on – it was permanent drag from then on! I was gay, of course, and wasn't ever interested in a sex change or anything." And nothing Henrietta wears when she dresses like a woman is fake. Her chinchilla outfit, lace or silk gowns, large-carat diamond rings, gold bracelets – they're all real, just as real as Henrietta.

Thomas Barker: When and how did you arrive in Miami Beach, Henrietta? Henrietta Robinson: I came to Miami Beach in 1958. My uncle, my mother's brother, had a restaurant here. I was 18-years-old and never was on my own in my life until then. I lived a pretty sheltered life in Boston. My mother died when I was born. I was raised by my grandmother, my father's mother. I couldn't go out and play with other kids and was kept in the house all the time.

TB: How old were you back then? Did you realize you were gay at an early age? HR: Oh, I was 10 or 11-years-old. I knew I was gay since I loved playing with my sisters' dolls! I loved dressing up. When my sisters dressed me up, my grandmother would go through the roof! My sisters were a lot older, they were 18 and 20-years-old. I was the baby in the family.

TB: Did you ever imagine the Beach would come full circle to where it is today? HR: I never thought in my time the gay community would be so free to be who they are and not be hassled by the police. In my day, if you walked down the street and if the police thought you were gay, they had the right to beat you up. They always said you looked at them the wrong way or you touched them. They had no hesitation in throwing you in jail. Now, I love it! Gay life has always flourished here – whether it was underground or above ground; or whether it was 23rd Street or 12th Street. Gays were everywhere and in every profession. Today, I feel so free and it's such a pleasure! A lot of these young gay kids don't know what somebody like me has gone through. And they don't have too many people to learn about the history since all the old-timers are gone.

This was originally published in Wire Magazine Digital Issue 2.2020

[midwestmontessori]

Montessori-Inspired Gift Ideas 2017

A Charlotte- and Simon-approved Montessori-inspired gift list for 2017!   

I wrote an extensive Montessori-inspired gift guide last year which is filled with some of our favorites of all-time. I have a few items to add to that list based on our growing family, new finds, and new interests.

Important note: You don’t need to own all of this. We don’t own all of this. This would be way, way too much for one or two, or even three or four children to receive all at once. We are big believers in teaching gratitude and thoughtfulness over excess and entitlement. These are meant to be *ideas* that spark and inspire those who may be stuck on what to give a little person in your life. This is not a list of must-haves. This is a list of things we either have enjoyed ourselves, things we’d love to add to our collection, OR things we admire while making the choice NOT to own, for the sake of having less or just because. 

The Montessori philosophy is about making offerings for children with intention, so I’ll suggest to purchase with thoughtfulness and intent. That intention may look something like “one thing they want, one thing they need, something to wear, and something to read.” We choose to do something different but that isn’t necessarily better or worse. 

Anyway, keep those thoughts in mind. 

Inspired by Simon (2.3 years old)

Second children (and subsequent) are difficult to shop for. For the most part you have what you need already from your firstborn. But I didn’t want to make this list extremely one-sided in favor of Charlotte, so here I included many things Simon enjoys that were hers first. There are a couple of new things that I’m excited about (yay fish puzzle!). But I’ll tell ya, toddlers are pretty simple. Puzzles are fun, don’t get me wrong, and I’ve included several in this list. We have several on his shelf to choose from. However, if I’m being completely honest, if all that boy had were his bike, kinetic sand, a pair of tongs, and a basketball, he’d be set. Gross motor and practical life dominate this age group, along with real-life experience and language. Fine motor and “toys” certainly have their place, but if you have a toddler you know how much ROAMING they do. So keep that in mind when choosing a gift for a toddler - less is more. 

Toot Scoot mini balance bike - our favorite for 1-3 years old

shapes puzzle

layered puzzles such as the pictured layered barnyard animals puzzle or this layered house puzzle - these are getting harder to find!

kinetic sand + tools (this pastry wheel is Simon & Charlotte’s all-time favorite)

HABA peg board

model vehicles (pictured: bus and recycling/trash truck)

fish parts puzzle (other animals also available)

crazy train tracks (to go with our current IKEA train set)

play dough + tools (such as nylon scrapers, cookie cutters, rolling pins, sculpting tools, molds, scissors, an extruder)

tongs, tongs, tongs 

basketball (with optional a basketball goal)

lacing cards

Grimm’s ramps

4-piece vehicle puzzles

3D train puzzle

knife (wavy chopper)

Schleich animal figurines

shape sequence puzzle

nuts & bolts boards

person/body parts puzzle

Thinkfun Roll & Play dice game

Inspired by Charlotte (4.5 years old)

By the time a child reaches this age there are probably some definite interests. So these are things I know Charlotte would enjoy. Not every 4 year old is going to have the same preferences. However I think there is a nice range here so I hope it can be helpful to some of you. The bike is definitely the #1. It is a very nice bike but definitely pricey, so do check out the website I linked for other recommendations. Charlotte loves her bike - I can’t think of any one thing she spends more time with.

dice

Junior Snap Circuits

roller skates (and pads and helmet)

spinning tops (or these)

mini Judy clock

Spirograph set

weaving loom

art supplies: hole puncher, pipe cleaners, craft sticks, washi tape, quality construction paper (they sell this at Hobby Lobby too), craft punches 

knitting fork

embroidery & needlework supplies (basket, embroidery floss, needles, pin cushion, trimming scissors, needle threader, hoop, plastic grid)

human body model (her FAVORITE)

knife

K’Nex building set

planets magnets

Kiwi crate subscription

George Luck puzzles (and this one)

Games: Aggravation, Uno, HABA Orchard (or try the mini version)

tactile number and/or letter book (These can be ordered separately as well. We only have the number book as we are doing cursive for letters.)

Silly Putty

Woom pedal bike (with freewheel kit and helmet) - see TwoWheelingTots.com for other recommendations as well as I am well aware this is a pricey one

Mindware pattern play

umbrella

Gifts Charlotte & Simon would both enjoy

It is apparent our children like to build and pretend-play together (as well as listen to music and read, which you’ll see more of in a minute). Many of the items on their individual lists will be enjoyed by both of them as well.

people figurines + Grimms foldable dollhouse

world map fabric (or (land/water/air mat) + animals 

Grimms rainbow

Legos

shears, doilies, small vases - for flower arranging (a pitcher too)

pitcher for pouring drinks (or a larger one for older children - 3+)

insect specimen

Wavee board 

mini scoop + food jars

unit blocks

marble run

tea set

Keva blocks

apple slicer/peeler

OXO measuring cups

insect viewer

dressing frames (if your child isn’t in a Montessori classroom)

Bobux Aktiv shoes

Grimms pyramid blocks

Books & CDs

I can’t think of a better gift than a book or a CD. Books and music are so, so important and also so, so easy to give freely. The possibilities are endless. As you can tell I had a hard time narrowing it down so I included extra recommendations here. Enjoy!

Family Tree by Frances England

The Animal Book by DK Publishing

"About” Series: A Guide for Children by Cathryn and John Sill

The Milly Molly Mandy Storybook by Joyce Lankester Brisley

The Small World Series - Wash Up by Gwenyth Swain

Pelle’s New Suit by Elsa Beskow

It’s a Big World by Renee and Jeremy

Web of Life series - Here Is The African Savannah by Madeleine Dunphy

First Discovery books (out of print but worth buying used - or there is a new version with a different publisher)

Cobble Street Cousins series by Cynthia Rylant

Billy & Blaze series by C.W. Anderson

The Year at Maple Hill Farm  (and it’s companion Our Animal Friends at Maple Hill Farm) by Alice and Martin Provensen

World Sing Along by Putumayo Kids Presents - one of my favorite children’s CDs of all time

Animals in Winter by Henrietta Bancroft

Snowflake Bentley by Jacqueline Briggs Martin

Poetry Speaks 

The Big Snow by Berta and Elmer Hader

Snowflakes in Photographs by W. A. Bentley

In Between Dreams by Jack Johnson

Miss Rhonda’s Readers by Rhonda Lucadamo - an adorable series by a Montessori teacher

The Lumineers self-titled album (we also love Cleopatra)

Here is the Arctic Winter by Madeleine Dunphy

A Child’s Book of Poems illustrated by Gyo Fujikawa

Backyard Birdsong Guide by Donald Kroodsma

Animals by QED Publishing

This Is How We Do It: One Day in the Lives of Seven Kids from around the World by Matt Mamothe

Not Pictured: White Snow, Bright Snow by Alvin Tresselt

Larger Practical Gifts

Families who are just getting started with Montessori, or those who have infants moving into the toddler stage may like to gift something larger and practical for the home. These are some of our very favorite Montessori-at-home items. Most are from IKEA (with the exception of the children’s dining chair. IKEA is a great place to find Montessori-friendly furniture for very low prices without sacrificing looks. The quality is adequate and in some cases excellent. I can’t recommend these enough. You don’t have to spend a fortune to do Montessori at home. Fancy learning towers aren’t necessary when there is a $20 that does the job even better! The children’s chair is more expensive, but it fits the child from infancy all the way to adolescent years (even I sit on it from time to time!). 

LATT children’s table and 2 chairs - $24.99 - cut down the legs according to this chart to set your child up for success 

LACK table - $7.99

FLISAT stool - $14.99 - pairs perfectly as a chair for the LACK 

Stokke Tripp Trapp - there are less expensive versions as well)

BEKVAM step stool - $19.99 - all time favorite and “must have” in my book

BESTA shelving - $60 - my absolute favorite for it’s size, color, simplicity, and adjustability - the besta! heehee

RASKOG cart - which we use for art supplies but could be used for a number of things

Holiday Staples

As a Christian family we participate in many religious holiday traditions. I want to make it clear that Montessori is not a Christian philosophy. The Montessori philosophy is open to everyone regardless of a religious or non-religious background. So by including religious items here I am no way claiming Montessori as a Christian philosophy.

As a Christian Montessori parent I do try to offer religious concepts in a developmentally appropriate way as well as with Montessori principles in mind. By including these here we do not aim to isolate those who are not Christian. It be inauthentic for us to share religious traditions that are not our own but that would be the only reason for not including those.

Not every family who celebrates during the Christmas season is Christian and that’s perfectly okay! We wish those who do not celebrate for religious reasons a very happy holidays as well. If you celebrate this season something other than Christian traditions, please share with us! Leave a comment or send a message. We love hearing how families enjoy this wonderful season.

For these reasons I included both our religious and non-religious holiday staples on this list.

Christ-centered Christmas favorites

Advent calendar - There are hundreds of advent calendar ideas on Amazon, Pinterest, Google images, and in stores all over. The Melissa and Doug calendar above is really simple which I love for young children! We have decided to start a Jesse Tree tradition with this set of ornaments and companion book. If the tradition works well I may upgrade our ornaments someday. I love these DIY ornaments or there are several beautiful sets on Easy. I am still deciding between a miniature live tree, a wooden dowel tree, or a DIY tree made of sticks. Any ideas? Leave a comment and help me decide! 

Advent wreath - We use our Waldorf-style birthday ring with a berry wreath around it, but it could be dressed up for Christmas in so many ways. There are also hundreds of advent wreaths out there to choose from. 

Nativity figurines (a stable is a lovely addition as well) - We love our Fontanini figurines. They are hand-painted  and made in Italy. We started with a basic set and we add a new one each year (a gift from my grandparents to our family). These hold such a special place in my heart. They are so very child-friendly but still gorgeous. I love that we have a set our children can play with as much as they’d like. 

Books that tell the Christmas story (None of these are perfectly biblically accurate, but I think having a few different ones helps. The Story of Christmas is the most accurate but it is definitely written for the very young. The other two are beautiful with some inaccuracies but we make do.)

The Christmas Story Golden Book by Jane Werner Watson

The Story of Christmas by Vivian French

The First Christmas by Carol Heyer

Charlie Brown Christmas CD - CLASSIC

other Christmas music - We typically make playlists or listen to stations on streaming services. There is so much excellent music out there. 

Favorites that are non-religion specific

Night Tree by Eve Bunting - We LOVE this book. It is excellent for religious or non-religious families. Definitely a keeper. 

holiday pajamas - one of my favorite holiday traditions!

cookie cutters (and sugar sprinkles)

tree ornaments

gingerbread house kit (or there’s the village which makes 4 mini houses)

live Christmas tree

Christmas countdown calendar - Simple calendar for little ones!

candy canes

stockings - These knit stockings are just gorgeous. We found our forever stockings from World Market in a similar style.

holiday music - We typically make playlists or listen to stations on streaming services. There is so much excellent music out there. 

We hope you have enjoyed this year’s gift guide! I just love preparing for the holidays. Gift-giving is one of my very favorites. I love the challenge of finding things they’ll love while keeping our priorities in check. So, if you’re doing gifts with your family, what are you planning to give your children this year? Do share your ideas! We’d love to know. 

Happy Holidays!

For more gift ideas see our other posts:

Last year’s Montessori Christmas Gift Guide - including our all-time favorites

The Ultimate Montessori Gift Guide for a 1-Year-Old

The gifts we had “Under our Tree” when Simon was 4.5 months and Charlotte was 2.5 years old

Puzzle and Fine Motor Materials for Infants up through 2 years old

Montessori Infant Toys series (for babies from birth through 6 months)

Montessori-Inspired Newborn Essentials (great ideas for expecting parents)

[houseofvans]

ART SCHOOL | Q & A with Brian Donnelly (Toronto)

Toronto based artist Brian Donnelly paints and “unpaints” his portraits into something that is strange and eerie, yet beautifully mesmerizing: His portraits often start crisp and realistic until it is purposely obscured, deteriorated, and altered, using his own mixture of toxic solvents. Not only were we intrigued by his unique work that focuses on issues of human identity, self image and vulnerability, but also his process, his influences and what he has coming up for 2017.  We’re excited to chat with Brian in our newest Art School Q&A to find out more about the guy behind the melty faceless people! 

Photographs courtesy of the artist.

Introduce yourself 

Brian R Donnelly, visual artist living in Toronto, Canada.  I've recently begun using my middle initial.  I'm still not sure how I feel about it, so I use it sporadically.  It marks the name of a good friend to my parents who died just before I was born.  Not sure how I feel about that either.

How would you describe your work to folks who have never seen it?  

I want to say "Self-destructive", but that isn't totally accurate.  I'm painting within the tradition of figurative work, currently focused on portraiture.  That is the first step.  The second is the compromise of the images I paint.  My paintings are met with all manner of obstruction, erasure, rearrangement, or outright destruction.  What comes out of that are warped and distorted versions of portraits.

In terms of process and technique, how did you come about to creating the process specifically the work you make now? 

The work I'm doing now was a progression out of work I was doing between 2005 and 2011.  Back then I was making life size nudes and painting over the human faces with animal faces.  That work played with an idea I had about painting tradition and its limitations.  It started to feel like it wasn't going far enough for me in the end.  As though the work I was making about limitations was limited itself.  This is where I began to think about how much further I could go than simply painting over sections and started seeking out ways to corrupt the surface.  I somehow came to the serial vandal Hans-Joachim Bohlmann who was active between 1977 and 1988.  He had thing for spraying sulfuric acid on masterpieces.  I found a handful of images of the damage he caused, and while I'm not an advocate for this behavior there was something compelling about the outcome.  I spent the next year figuring out how to melt the surface of my work and make faces turn into liquid.   

Every artist has their set of mediums, what is your set of mediums and what is it you particular enjoy about them?

Right now I'm working with oil paint as my initial medium.  The medium I use for corrupting the surface is a mixture of turpentine and hand sanitizer.  This mixture came through a year of testing different solvents to corrupt painted surfaces and get the results I wanted.  I wouldn't say I enjoy much about it other than it's effect on oil paint.  It's extremely toxic, and when I spray it onto the paintings it becomes a fine mist of horrible poison.  I basically work in a death cloud.  But I don't like to restrict my mediums so I've also dabbled in axe throwing and setting finished work on fire.  It's about finding new ways to interrupt my own work before anyone really sees it.

Your work features a lot of various people from all walks of life, where do you find your subjects?  Do you find yourself ever moving to non-human portraits? 

I'm working on a painting of a pig right now for a show at Modern Eden in San Francisco.  The badge is proving to be more challenging than I expected.  Typically I work with people I know.  Last summer I used a trading platform here in Toronto called "Bunz" to source a wide array of strangers to use as models.  They got a can of beer each for about 10 minutes of me photographing them.  I have a decent little library of strangers now.  

What are the top 5 musicians / bands you enjoy painting too?

In no particular order: 1. American Sharks 2. Booker T and the MG's 3. Lord Dying 4. The Coathangers 5. Indian Handcrafts

What’s your working space like? What do you keep in your studio to inspire you? 

I actually keep a lot of failed efforts and experiments in my studio.  I find it helpful to have reminders of the things that didn't work so I can adjust my course.  The experiments are helpful at keeping me moving to figure out new problems.  There's also a small picture of Jack Torrance taped to my wall.  It keeps me in check when I realize I'm talking to myself.

When you’re not painting, how do you spend your free time?  What other activities or interests do you have that might be equally important to you as art is?

I started cycling a few summers ago.  I bought a bike at a pawn shop so I could save some money getting around the city.  It turns out I really love riding a bike.  I imagine the adrenaline and endorphin mixture from exercise has a lot to do with it, but I feel really clear-headed after 25km.  

What inspires your work?  Who are your top 5 favorite artists at the moment?

Inspiration is a weird thing as it strikes at really strange moments.  It means I have to carry a notebook with me wherever I go so I can get whatever weird, fleeting thought I'm having down on paper.  Things as simple as salt melting through ice, or a good set of worn down steps can set my brain off.  I try to go for short walks to encounter these things and keep my mind thinking about new perspectives.  I'm also lucky to have Marnie White as a partner who I can talk to about art and art making.  I feel like my work has come a long way in the six years we've been together.

Favorite artists is a tough one, so this list comes after a lot of stress and brain racking.  As with music, this is in no particular order.

1. Jesse Draxler 2. Henrietta Harris 3. Zeke Moores 4. Meryl Pataky  5. Analia Saban 

What are your favorite Vans silhouette? 

Right now the Rata Vulc.  Authentics are always going to look good though.  

If you weren’t a painter or artist, what do you think you would have been?

If I had stuck to my vision as a child I'd be a dentist.  To be honest though, I spent a lot of time drawing pictures of my dentist rather than being interested in dentistry.  I try to keep away from dwelling on woulda, coulda, shoulda.  That kind of thinking can drive a person over the edge.  Besides, I like where I'm at.   

How do you find opportunities as an artist?  What’s your approach – galleries / shows/ social media? 

Social media has been my main driver for a few years.  However the change in Instagram's algorithm has me questioning whether or not that is a sustainable approach.   Shows are definitely helpful and being part of a group show is always great because of the exposure to a more varied audience.  Lately I've been accepting any show I'm offered as a personal challenge to experiment with new ideas.  It can be difficult to keep up with when you're shipping everything across borders on tight deadlines, but challenges are good.   

Some artists encounter brief moments of "artists’ block” . . how have you or what techniques do you have to help yourself over these creatively quiet periods? 

I'm actually just coming out of one that lasted 2 months.  I always start by convincing myself not to panic.  The fog always lifts, but panicking about it makes the whole thing take longer.  I try to get out walking more and more when it happens.  Spending time in the studio with work I'm not totally sure about makes it worse so I walk and allow myself time to think about other things. If that isn't enough I try to walk to a library grab a couple of art history books and start jotting down notes about things relevant to my practice.  Sometimes this leads to new ideas, sometimes it bolsters old ones.  Either way it helps to end my uncreative fog.

What are you looking forward to the rest of 2017? Big projects or upcoming shows?

I'll be doing my second solo show with Stephanie Chefas Projects in Portland this November which I'm excited about.  It feels like a home away from home. I'm also starting a residency soon here in Canada at the Cedar Ridge Creative Centre .  That will carry me through the rest of the summer experimenting with watercolor and a few ideas for drawings that I've been considering.

Whose an artist you’d love to see interviewed for Art School? 

Living: Meryl Pataky. Dead: Rene Magritte. I feel like both of those interviews would be great for different reasons.

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