#my family got me a cheesecake bless their hearts

[kindofsharethat]

“liam payne is dead” is a sentence that will never sound real

[gaymershigh]

hulloh! I've only been on tumblr for a few hours, and me and my friend already love your work! Is it ok if I request some TWST parent scenarios with Riddle,Lilia,Sebek,Vil and Floyd? If so, thanks! Also once again, me and my freind love ur works alot!

Of course! Since there's no s/o really mentioned in here but people might still want to be included, s/o will be mentioned just a tiny bit (the kids being biological or adopted is up to you since I want to make the s/o gender neutral.) Also, thanks a lot! I'm still and probably be forever an amateur writer so this means a lot to me 🥺💞💞

Triggers: None

Parents au: Riddle, Lilia, Sebek, Vil and Floyd edition!

From what we've seen, his parents are not the best role models like, at all. They were too strict, pressuring him and treating him like a trophy child. However, he will definitely not treat his child like that at all after Ace slapped him with reality.

He will be a bit strict, having some rules and will scold them if they did something wrong but not as scold them the way his mother does. He won't raise his voice at them, showing them the right path after he scolded them. He will give them freedom and try his best to not make his children suffer the same thing he did, especially when he's the source of the pain.

Though, he might accidentally adapt some things from his mother and project her ways to his children, being completely not self aware. If you're his s/o, please teach him the baby steps to avoid this from this occurring too often.

Unfortunately, having a good life and children won't make his short temper extend. This is the only reason why he doesn't spoil them too much, they might act entitled and may be too late to change them back to the innocent infant they were back then. He tries very hard to control his temper if his children unintentionally knock furniture over or damage something. He just needs a few minutes alone, everything will be back to normal later.

There was one time where his child's birthday was near and decided to bake a cake from scratch, without any assistance from Trey nor his s/o. Thinking he could do it and don't want anyone to underestimate him. He was planning to make a burnt strawberry cheesecake and did the mistake of leaving the oven on for an hour for 400 degrees fahrenheit. The cake went on fire but it tasted very good when he for some reason tasted it. Nobody knew about the incident and the cake was actually used for its purpose. Yay for him, I guess.

He was already pretty outdated in trends when he was in his teens so do expect him to be like a middle aged soccer mom on Facebook every time his children send him memes or something like that. If he does even use any sort of social media and stumbled upon a 'funny' minion meme or something, he will definitely send it to the family group chat. He will make those 5th grade types of edits with one of the family pictures with a "I love my family". It's funny but still wholesome so don't laugh at him.

There is no alternate universe where Lilia isn't a good dad. Silver and his other wards are already an amazing example of how amazing of a parent he is! He has gained a bunch of experience so he got this in the bag.

Though, his way of taking care of children might be different from how it is now. Times have changed, there are probably some new and uncomplicated objects or toys to entertain the baby or child. He would love to go on a shopping trip to buy some fascinating kids toys he found in the toy store. Please stop him from buying everything in there because it looks "intriguing".

If you're his s/o, you're very lucky since if you have a baby who always cries at three in the morning or a kid who really have trouble sleeping, Lilia will sing a lullaby and they'll doze off in any second. He can wake up easily or he'll just always stay up playing his games so you don't even need to break a sweat in this situation.

His kids or any kid in general loves him lots. He will always tell his tales anywhere, anytime. If the kids ask him for a story to tell, he will always have a new one ready to tell. They also make amazing bedtime stories! It can be funny little innocent stories like his funny experiences taking care of his three wards to actual battles he went through. Any story is a good story.

He really got along with his child when they're young and innocent but when they get into their teenage years, oh boy. He will unintentionally embarrasses them but their friends won't mind. If anything, they will love him being around as he's always keeping up with the games and trends, not being a fat, shirtless creepy dad. One of the positive parts about his child growing up is that he can play video games with him just like he did with Silver! Reliving the nice memories.

He would always try to cook something in any opportunity he gets and of course, he gets stopped by either s/o or his own children. Yes, they have to go through the hard way to realize their father is garbage at cooking. He would always try to cook some food everytime something good has happen in order to celebrate but most of the times, he just wants to cook something for them to show how much he loves them. They really made him happy, he finally have a biological/adopted offspring to watch growing up (again).

Sebek unfortunately doesn't have that much time to spend time with his children due to being Malleus' trusted escort. Of course, when he does have free time and is not exhausted he will use the opportunity to spend it with his adorable younglings.

Knowing him, he still loves and worships Malleus but he's no longer his only priority in life when he finally has a life of his own other than just being Malleus' bodyguard. He will ramble and tell so many stories about his young master to his kids. They will be infatuated but will later complain about how everything is just "Malleus this, Malleus that". He will get a bit upset about that comment, so he will only talk about Malleus stories for 3 days a week.

He only has focused his life on guarding Malleus and advancing himself on magic and education. Now that he's now an actual father, this is a new chapter in his life and he's not prepared at all. He will seek Lilia for guidance and of course, Lilia being Lilia will rope him to doing something absolutely ridiculous and he would of course, woefully fall for it. Pretty surprising that no matter how much he has fallen for his teacher's trap, he still seeks him for advice.

His kids will definitely learn how to read fast. He loves reading and he really wants his kids to appreciate it too. He was about to immediately give them the books that have old and poetic language without even knowing what the alphabet was. Lilia put a stop to this and you couldn't even bear seeing how sad he looked because he needs to wait for a few years for him to have little reading buddies. Oh well, it doesn't matter now. He will teach them how to read and appreciate the art of reading no matter how long it takes.

He has exposed his children to a bunch of Malleus propaganda so there's no surprise if the children become just like him. Loud screaming, Malleus worshipping, smart but naive and other things Sebek has. If you're his s/o, please keep the children in check as they might cause problems to the neighbors. As this might be troublesome, it's at least entertaining experience I suppose.

Just like Sebek, he has even less time to spend with his kids as he always has modeling, acting and other businesses to attend. He's probably going to be exhausted when he comes back as well. Though, of course he's going to try to use all his energy to talk to his children till he can no longer open his eyes anymore. He prefers an s/o that is a stay-in mom/dad so the children won't feel lonely while he's gone.

They're definitely gonna grow up just like him. A model, actor, media influencer, or the combination of the three and it's not a bad thing. If they're going on the same route as him, he will teach them in a strict but still in a somewhat caring manner as he has learned a lot from his experience of the VDC boot camp and the overblot incident. He will only show his threatening side if they start to misbehave like those ADeuce rats.

Just because they are his children, doesn't mean they get a free pass if they intentionally neglect or not doing their best at all times, especially when it comes to appearance. He's known to be a neat-freak and a very hard worker to the point it's concerning. He will scold them if more than two pimples pop up on their face but he knows when to cross the line. He learned this easier if their child is rather sensitive and just emotionally fragile in general but they still need to take care of themselves.

He expects his children to follow his footsteps when it comes to where they're schooling. He wants them to enter a prestigious school like he did for his reputation and for the sake of his children's future. This is optional (not really) but he also hopes his children to enter Pomefiore as well and take the dorm head title at least the second week they enroll in this school. If they were sorted to a different dorm, they still want them to have a role in their dorm or in the school at all.

He begs to the Great Seven that paparazzi or desperate losers obsessing over him don't intrude into his personal life, especially if it's about his family. The last thing he wants to witness is his family in pain or being uncomfortable for their whole life. He usually avoids or straight up tells the interviewer that he's not comfortable answering questions when they're going too personal when it's about questions of his family.

You cannot feel anymore blessed when you see his smiling face when he received news about having a vacation. He can finally spend more time with his wonderful kids he's raising with all his heart. He will tell them about some funny incidents in the studio while he was involved in some modeling gig or he will bring them to a private island with gorgeous scenery for both of them to enjoy. Of course, his children's happy faces are more beautiful than the island.

Floyd is seen to be very warm and sweet despite having a very intimidating height. Naturally, he's not going to be ruthless and act the same when it's with his children because it's his children of course, family is precious to him. He has a lot of energy even after a long shift at Mostro Lounge, so he will always spend a lot of time with his kids.

He's physically affectionate so expect him to be always close and wrapping his arms around his children at almost all times. He'll usually let them sit on his lap when they watch TV or sleep with them if they can't go back to sleep because of a nightmare. Headpats are needed, especially if the kids did something good or got good news. Not saying he won't give any headpats if something bad happens, maybe headpats of sympathy perhaps.

He's very patient when it's with his children because he doesn't want his children to fear him when they grow up. If anything, the s/o have to do the scolding to avoid him snapping or anything like the sort. They rarely do anything bad though, since they're aware of how their dad acts from how he treats a dirty burglar who once tried to break in.

Since he's usually very active and hates just standing around, he expects his children to be just like him. It's never boring if your dad is Floyd as he always has something really entertaining to do at most times. If you're his s/o, you have the free entrance to see an eel man dancing around with his kids or playing some basketball either inside or preferably in the backyard. He tried showing the art of parkour but is stopped due to it being very risky. He sulked about this but oh well, once they're ten, they have no choice but to learn it!

Floyd is an amazing cook and he sometimes lets his children be involved like chopping some vegetables or stirring the macaroni. He sometimes teaches them the perfect way of doing it or let's them try doing their own meal with his assistance. There was one time they decided to make one of the weirdest food combinations and try to eat it, he won and ate it all as it was too gross for the kids to eat it. It's not gonna be a surprise if everyone in this household is an expert cook when Floyd is here.

If possible, he really wants to bring his kids at work no matter how troublesome they could get. If Azul has a "bring your kids to work" day (which I doubt of him doing), he's going to bring all his children no matter how many he has. If there's no day like that, who cares! He's bringing his kids anyway and nobody's stopping him. Sure, he will get scolded by Azul but if that's the only thing stopping him then he'll take his chances.

I don't if it's still Christmas or not since I don't celebrate it but if it's still is, Merry Christmas! 🎉 I'll just say this is a Christmas gift for you and your friend, Mouaietaru! Especially for that Jamil and Silver fanfic that you made. It's very good, keep up the fantastic work! ✨✨✨

-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

[tinyyoungblood]

saved by beauty | tom holland

summary: for the past couple of weeks, you’ve been delivering cheesecakes to the same movie star and every time, there was something off about him, so what better way to cheer him up than to take him to your parents’ house to ride your old bikes together?

pairing: tom holland x reader

word count: 2.2 k

warnings: mention of loneliness and mental breakdown, fluff

song/based on: Young & Alive by Bazzi

--masterlist

* * *

Fyodor Dostoyevsky: “The world will be saved by beauty.”

* * *

As always, the clock ticked toward late afternoon when the doorbell rang. Rising out of the dark, shuffling to the door, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes—it didn’t matter how much he prepared himself for the daily doorstep exchange, just like any other day, he was blinded by his counterpart and in return, prompted to match her energy whereas she was prompted to act blind—it was a painful interaction. Fake smiles, worried eyes, and another careless lie. And you were sick of it.

“I’m good, thank you, keep the change, have a nice day,” Tom rambled and was just about to shut the door on your face when you quickly put your foot on the threshold, keeping the door open by bashing two millimeters. He cocked a brow. “Sorry, did I forget something?”

Not having thought it through, you shook your head slowly and fumbled with the dollar bill in your hand. “I just wanted, uhm, just wanted to see if you, uh…would like to go for a little trip outside?” Neither of you said a word and Tom watched through wide eyes as you shuffled from one foot to another, stupidly animating you to keep talking.

“Uhm, you’ve just been ordering so many cheesecakes, like, so many, every single day without a doubt, and I’m in no place to judge really, I mean, I just deliver your addic—I mean your food, and you always look really sad��I mean, not sad, you look great! I mean, not great great, that would be a lie, but I’d still go how you doin’ for you, and even if you keep saying you’re fine, I know that’s bullshit, but I just wanted to make you feel a bit better so, uh, how do you feel about going for a ride? ” You squeezed your eyes shut and balled your fists by your sides to let the moment fly by. When the silence was nibbling on your skin, you peeked at Tom through your lashes. He held no expression on his face. Grimacing, you stuck out your open palm, almost colliding against the stranger’s chest, and mumbled shamefully, “You can take back the change if you want.”

Eyeing your stretched-out arm, a small chuckle left his lips and you glanced up from the floor. “It’s yours, you should keep it.”

Almost in slow motion, you tucked the cash into your back pocket before rocking back and forth on your heels. He watched you in silence before shaking his head with a mumbled what the hell. Snatching his key card from its holder, he stepped over the threshold and jammed his hands into his front pockets with a small nod and grin of excitement. “Let’s do this.”

Once in the car, he placed the box with the cake carefully in the backseat and in the blink of the eye, you were already turning the corner to drive to your destination. After a few moments of utmost awkwardness and uncomfortable shifting, you cleared your throat and glanced at the celebrity in your passenger seat. “So Cheesecakes, tell me, what got you so down?” His nose crinkled at the nickname and he turned to watch the passing houses through his window.

“That’s an interesting question to ask first.”

“What do you mean?” You glimpsed at him and he shrugged.

“No what’s your name? or do you happen to have a criminal record? You know, your typical first questions to set a ground foundation of trust.”

He had never spoken this much before, so you were taken aback by the string of accented words, but you hid your surprise and met his eyes with a teasing smile. “Well, technically, the first question I asked you was would you like a fork for the cake? So I’m pretty sure we’ve already established some kind of intimacy here. It’s so erotic, I would never ask my grandmother that.”

Tom laughed and the tension slowly chipped off. He found himself tucking his hands in between is arm pits, only to take them out again to slot his fingers together.

“I’ve just been lonely lately.” He confessed, his low voice held insecurity and shame, causing your heart to shatter.

“It’s okay to feel that way, you know.”

“I know, I’ve just…” You peeked at Tom as he drew his lower lip between his teeth. “I’ve just been working abroad for five months straight without really clicking with anybody from my…my workplace. And all my friends and family are in England while I’m stuck here in an empty hotel room munching on cheesecakes. I guess, I’m just homesick and I feel bad about it. I should be over the moon to be given this opportunity, not complaining. I know I’m blessed, but at the same time, I don’t really feel the blessing. There’s nothing that lights up my day anymore—“ except when you show up at my doorstep every day, he mused but kept it to himself.

In anticipation of your reply, he cautiously observed the way you were chewing on your bottom lip while staring engrossed on the road ahead. He watched as you pulled into a random driveway and killed the engine, and his stare never left either as you turned to Tom with softened eyes. “It’s normal to feel homesick when you’ve been away for five months. You should never feel bad about it. It’s not your fault.” You found your hand linger on his arm and you wanted to pull back, but his hand landed on top of yours, and you kept going.

“You need to understand it’s only temporary. All of this will pass, and before you know it, you’ll be back in England with your friends and family and it’ll all be worth it.” His eyes were focused solely on you, taking in every word, and deep down, you were glad that you had decided to do this. “Those feelings will come and go and sometimes it’ll be overwhelming, but that’s what this bad boy and I are here for.” You jerked your thumb to the backseat to point at the white box. “You’re always welcome to reach out to me and I’ll do anything in my power to make sure that you’re having a good time in the States.”

He cracked a meek smile, shimmering eyes softening under the sunset rays, and you returned it. “Thank you, love.”

That pet name seeped effortlessly through the air and made the pit of your stomach bubble. You were sure, if it weren’t for the fleeting glance at the house, you would have sat there until the end of your time. Instead, you almost sprinted out of the vehicle.

Tom mirrored your actions and leaned against the car to watch you open a stranger’s garage. He crossed his arms and called out with amusement, “I really appreciate your offer, but when you said a good time, I didn’t think you meant trespassing and breaking into somebody’s house.”

You ignored him, entered the garage and returned with two bicycles, one was red, the other blue. “It’s my parents’ house, dummy.” You offered him the red bike with a glimpse of excitement. “Let’s ride our bikes like it’s 2005.”

Before he could respond, you swung your leg over the saddle and peddled down the street, leaving behind a stunned Tom. He stared after you before hurriedly grabbing the white box from the backseat to tuck it under his arm. He decided to ride behind you, taking his time to admire your freely outstretched arms and the way your hair was blowing in the warm wind. Moving toward the sunset with its deep, rich reds and glorious golds, you still found yourself looking over your shoulder with a huge smile and his breath hitched. As you caught sight of the carton box under his arm, you let out a laugh and the melodic sound made him smile broader.

“Why 2005?” He called out to you, and you slowed down to ride beside him. You shrugged. “I don’t remember much of that year, must have been nine or eight, but I like to think that it was a great year. We were young and alive and, I guess, that was enough.”

You knew your words didn’t make any sense, you weren’t even sure if they made sense to you, but in that moment, they did to Tom. A wide grin curved around his lips and his eyes traveled up to the cloudless sky. Punching his arm in the air, he cheered loudly and you joined in. The echoes of your laughter melted with it, and you were left with comfortable chatter as you rode through passing memories of the quiet neighborhood that you grew up in. You pointed out little spots and stories those places held and Tom listened tentatively.

Leading both of you up the familiar hill, you stopped in the middle of the field and let your bike fall to the ground. Tom followed and with the compressed box in his hands, he tilted his head to the side. Beaming excitedly at him, you took his arm and walked backward to guide him to the big oak tree blooming in luscious tones of green. He kept his eyes on you, not wanting to miss a second of the glow. Settling underneath the trunk, you patted the spot next to you and he landed on his bum without hesitation.

“You brought me up here to sit underneath a tree?”

You shook your head and simply pointed ahead. His eyes followed your finger and, in an instance, they lit up with amazement. A wide array of faraway roofs cascaded along the landscape while mountains in the far formed waves along the horizon. The sun’s orange streaks were stretching out in advance and bathing the sight in warm colors while behind you, the sparkling night sky was curving over the globe. But even with all of this surrounding him, his eyes found themselves settling back over your face.

His thoughts involuntary flicked back to his daunting hotel room and a shiver climbed up his spine as it reminded him that you had saved him from an unforeseeable mental breakdown without even knowing it.

“It’s breathtaking, isn’t it?” You spoke up, soft and gentle, eyes staring ahead, and Tom was only able to nod. The sun was engulfing its last stripes of soft gold on your skin and leading you into a warm dance. And his heart was dancing right with you, making him let go of his anxious thoughts.

“I like this.” He found himself admit and you hummed, head falling on his shoulder. His heart race picked up and the comforting scent of your shampoo filled his nostrils. He glanced at the leaves above him and he let his thoughts form to words. “I think I like you more though.”

He expected you to jump off him, stare at him in bewilderment, maybe even push him down the hill, but instead you lifted your head from his shoulder and gradually averted your gaze from the scenery to him with a glowing smile that reached up to your eyes.

“I think so too.”

He found comfort in the way the corner of your lips curved into a smile that had grown so valuable to him over the past few months.

“What do you say? I could take you out for some cheesecake. You might like it.”

He played along and nodded. “I’ve heard it’s good—Oh my, would you look at that?” He held up the white box with feigned surprise. “I guess your wish just got true,…?”

“Y/N.”

“Tom.” His smile was a little bigger than needed as he held out his hand, and in return your fingers lingered a little longer. You felt your cheeks warm up and retracted your hand to grab the box off his lap.

“You want a fork for the cake?” You asked absentmindedly while lifting off the top. When a chuckle left his lips, you gazed at him with a quizzical look. “What?”

He smiled cheekily and shrugged. “Please don’t tell your grandma you asked me that. I don’t want to screw this up.”

You laughed at his bad joke and Tom glowed with admiration. Even with the breathtaking view that the hill allowed, he couldn’t drag his gaze from you and it slowly reminded him of all the beauty of this world.

His mind wandered off to the fields of flowers blessing the world with their wild colors to the deeply mysterious waves that stretched widely from ocean to ocean. From the silver crescent of the moon smiling down from the sea of stars to the hummingbirds that were flying by in all its vivid glory.

With all the beauty that these things held, he knew that neither of them would save the world. It was instead the beauty of human souls filled with light and love. And the girl with the red cap and the warm smile was one of these people.

* * *

she’s alive! i haven’t written something in a whole week so this is wobbly but that’s okay. leave some feedback or talk to me abt anything so i can distract myself from school. c: love you guys <3000 stay hydrated!

masterlist

taglist: @honeypie-holland @nerdyandproudofitsstuff @himarisolace @duskholland @insidiousslut @totallyfangirling7177 @siriuslyslyslytherin

[luzdelmundo]

2020 in review

I was tagged to do this by the loveliest @unefleurofferte, thank you for letting me reflect on my life and for sharing your thoughts, stories and insights to your life, it was such a worthwhile read! <3 

I am tagging @maailmaonsun, @dunedjarin & @vinylchemist, feel free to do it if you feel like it! Sending you hugs and lots of warmth, I hope your 2021 will be a great year to you 🥰

Rules: answer the questions about 2020 and tag some people to pass it on!

5 favourite films you watched in 2020:

This is a compilation has no particular order, but I did love them all. 

The Theory of Everything - I was a bit late to the party, but this movie was something special 

The Gentlemen - this movie has it all, a great piece of entertainment 

What Happened, Miss Simone? - such a powerful piece

Age of Adaline - I adore everything about this movie, even with many medical inaccuracies 

Happiest Season - because who doesn’t love a lesbian Christmas movie after the hardest year to date

5 favourite tv shows you watched in 2020:

This year tv shows were the main coping mechanism and I’m not even sorry about it. 

Killing Eve - do I need to say more? 

Haunting of Bly Manor -  Dani and Jamie are the blueprint, I love them with my whole heart 

Dead to me - this was my comfort show for the majority of 2020 

The Playbook: Coach’s rules for life - related to the subject of my studies, really helped me to come up with my own coaching philosophy 

Grey’s Anatomy - yes, really, I rewatched the whole thing 2 times this year 

5 favourite songs you listened to in 2020:

Spotlight by Jessie Ware - this songs takes me to another dimension, I love the ambience, it was also a song my friends called the ultimate aesthetic of mine

III by Foster The People - it’s one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard in my life, my heart belongs to that song

Sao Paolo by Lapti - the ultimate song for chilling, road trips, cooking and everything in between

Dog Years by Maggie Rogers - personal favourite for the 2nd year in a row, if I would ever describe my attachment style or love languages I would use this song 

seven by Taylor Swift - it was a song that made me realise certain childhood behaviours, it always makes me tear up and it is special, will always be 

Top 5 albums of 2020:

What’s your pleasure? by Jessie Ware - she has always been my favourite, and this album is truly something else. Best record of 2020, no doubt about it 

- Ugh, those feels again by Snoh Alegra - she’s been my biggest discovery of 2020 and I’m so happy I found her 

Fine Line by Harry Styles - he is my sweetheart, this album was definitely one of my most listened 

The S(EX) Tapes by FLETCHER - a queer breakup album? It’s everything I never knew I needed 

Iridescent by Ayoni - such a wonderful vibe, 10/10 

Top 5 books you read in 2020:

2020 was definitely not a reading year for me and I can openly admit it, although there were some pieces I will treasure for a long time 

The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus - I love this man’s writing, it has been a favourite for a long time, but I kept coming back to this one to find the meaning for all that has happened 

The Rebel by Albert Camus - yes. another one from him. just because. 

Becoming by Michelle Obama - this is a Michelle Obama stan Tumblr 

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth - being gay and coming from a Catholic background made this read a hard one, but worth it 

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt - Donna Tartt, that is all. 

How did you spend your birthday this year?

I spent it with my best friend, we went hiking, we had tacos & margaritas. It was a nice relief and an escape from the pandemic reality. It felt great. I also had a small family celebration later that weekend. 

What was your most memorable day this year?

Getting into the sports coaching school. I came home from the office I had an internship, I was tired, I was in a crisis//survival mode, I was tired of business, of who I was. My life had little to no meaning anymore. I was a robot, I thought the world has very little to offer. Then I suddenly got an e-mail I got in. The entire world turned upside down. I am happier, I glow here, I belong here. It makes me cry having to think about it. It was the biggest blessing of 2020, hands down. 

What was your most memorable meal you had this year?

There were many, but I think the most memorable and meaningful one was when my best friend baked a Ukrainian cheesecake and embraced her heritage. Also, making hummus with my new flatmates after moving to the dorm was a big one. Also, shakshuka became my comfort meal of the year. 

Did you find any new hobbies or interests in quarantine?

Quite some, yes! I started paining again, I became a plant mom and a gardening expert, I grew my own cucumbers and tomatoes. I started baking again and make aesthetic moodboards on Pinterest getting pretty big following!  It’s one of my favourite spare time activities now!

What was the last big event/thing you remember doing BC (before covid)?

Going clubbing with my friends, I miss going out and dancing my heart out. 

5 good/positive things that happened to you in 2020:

Getting into my dream school!!!! I will be a sports performance coach, it still feels like an actual dream 

Going to therapy and dealing with personal problems, it was one of the best decision of my life 

Coming out to myself and living my truth

Losing the feeling of having to prove things to people

Learning that I can’t control everything and that it is okay. Life goes on. And it gets better.

Biggest messages or lessons learnt from this year?

Life can change within seconds, everything flows and goes, it in constant movements. Your inner critic lies, it will be okay and you will find yourself, find your heart. Love is loud. Love is beautiful, love makes the world go round. Growth is hard, overwhelmingly hard, but it is so so so so worth it. Magic happens everyday. Your gut knows, trust it. Protecting your peace is crucial for your sanity. 

And what are you most looking forward to in 2021?

Living, simple as that. For me 2021 will be the year of presence - wherever I’ll be, I will be fully there. 

[night-rook]

Cheesecake Was The Reason | Sanji x Reader |

A/N: This is my first post and also my first time writing an “??? x Reader”. Hopefully you all enjoy! I DON’T A OWN ANYTHING BUT: THE STORY PLOT AND DUSK!!!   Word court: 2,530

(Y/N) = Your name (C/C)= Career Choice (H/C) = Hair Color (H/L) = Hair Length (S/C) = Skin color (E/C) = Eye Color (F/F) = Favorite Food (B/T) = Body Type (Y/B/H) = Your Body Height

                                      ═✩══╡˚✧❨✧˚╞══✩═

Staring at one another, the brunette companion couldn’t help but laugh at their friend. (Y/N) had to hold back from attacking them, sinking into her chair as their laugh ceased to a chuckle. The pair always met up for a cafe date. The date was just to catch up on their lives since the pair couldn’t really meet every day. Her brunette friend was going to college for Fashion Design, while she had only gone for her (C/C).

“You’re so dumb for not checking,” Dusk leaned forward and took a sip of her Oreo milkshake, smirking at their (H/C) (H/L) haired friend.

(Y/N) huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest, avoiding the teasing eyes of her companion. She reached for her latte and took a sip. She recalls the events, being reminded herself what she had done.

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After a rather tough gym session, she was laying on her bed after a nice shower for her sore muscles. She reached for her phone and decided to text her fashionista friend. Telling her that she was craving a scrumptious strawberry cheesecake from the Baratie restaurant that the pair went to a year ago. The cheesecake was heaven for her. It was creamy with a light sweetness from the strawberry graze. The flavor was something she’ll die for again if she had the chance. She set her phone down as she waited for her friend’s reply.

She smiled at the memory from that lively night. Dusk saved her paychecks in order to take (Y/N) to the restaurant for her birthday, seeing as the restaurant was rather extravagant and one had to book a reservation months in advance. How the brunette managed to get an appointment on her birthday was something she wondered but she was happy to be treated to a fancy dinner. Especially when she was studying hard for her own exams, the young adult deserved a break.

She had texted someone, no doubt on that. However, she had clicked the wrong icon on the app. (Y/N) didn’t text Dusk, instead she had texted a stranger. The stranger received the text, and he couldn’t help but smile at the text. He didn’t know who the person was but he didn’t want to be rude since the text had complimented his workplace. Although, it wasn’t addressed to him personally. He blew out a cloud of smoke before replying to the text.

“Thank you for enjoying the meal. It warms my heart that you had a great birthday at the restaurant. However, I’m not Dusk… I’m sorry, but I think you have got the wrong person,” He texted before hitting the send button.

(Y/N) was surfing YouTube while she waited. She started to wonder what was taking her bestie so long, normally they were fast to reply. Maybe they were finishing up an assignment that was due tonight, but that doesn’t stop them from texting her. She was about to text them once more, until her notification popped up on the screen. Her (E/C) eyes widen at the unknown icon that showed on her phone screen. She was a bit suspicious of who had texted her, it could be spam.”

“Thank you for… It warms my heart that… not Dusk… got the wrong person,” She read slowly as pink slowly spread across her (S/C) face.

Quickly tossing her phone across the bed, (Y/N) stuffed her flustered face into her pillow and let out a rather loud, muffled shriek. After an hour of mentally cursing her dumbass and praying to whatever god to give her strength on not embarrassing herself more, she got a hold of her phone once again to try and reply to the stranger on the other end. Clearing up the mess she had put herself in and hoping she didn’t heck up again.

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“He seems like a cool guy. I mean, he could have pulled an asshole move by leading you on. What else happened, my dude?” Dusk shrugged as she finished up the milkshake. They picked up the small tablet and requested for another milkshake, it being her third one in the past hour.

(Y/N) sighed and finished up her coffee before setting the empty cup to the end of the table, “He said he wouldn’t mind if we went to the Baratie, even saying he would pay for our meals since not a lot of people compliment his cooking. Apparently my description of how fucking delicious the cheesecake was touched his heart, especially after a hard day in kitchen.”

The brunette nodded their head, resting their chin on the palm of their hand as they silently stared at the (H/C) female. The man was nice and he was kind enough to give her an offer. However, they couldn’t shake the feeling something would happen if they went. Free food is a blessing and free food from one of the city’s most top-tier restaurants was like a grace of god. When their third milkshake came, Dusk took a few sips so as to help make a decision.

“Alrighty then! We’ll go whenever he can get a reservation so we cast a food critic worthy review. Text him that so we know when, bae,” the brunette grinned.

(Y/N) smiled at her friend and texted the Baratie cook about his offer. The pair continued with their cafe date, joking around and enjoying the rest of the evening together even after the cafe.

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A few weeks had passed when it came to the restaurant day. The Baratie cook, who later said his name was Sanji, had told (Y/N) that he had managed to get a table cleared for her at the Baratie on the last Saturday of the next month. It was a loathsome wait for the dinner to come, the (E/C) eyed female was growing more anxious as it got closer. Dusk had planned the dress appeal for her earlier that month. They slightly lied about the restaurant having a dress code rule, but in reality they wanted to doll her up again for the special night.

The pair walked into the restaurant and told the host about their reservation. The host nodded before giving the menus and led the pair to one of the more private booths. A waiter came by for them and the pair ordered for some drinks before silence came over them. Dusk mainly looked over the menu to see what was appropriate for this night, while (Y/N) glanced around nervously.

She tugged slightly on her dress. Having her friend pick out her clothes was probably a good idea, but she should have said something on the length. It was short and fit to her (B/T) but the dress may be too short because it reached a little up to her mid-thigh. The more she tugged on the dress, the more she wanted to ask her friend for their coat. (Y/N) blushed a bit as her friend looked up from the menu to see her struggling with the outfit.

“Why did I let you dress me? This is cute and all, but it’s short as hell!” she quietly protested

The brunette only stared before looking over to the side and smiled at the waiter who came with their drinks and orders. After they ordered, Dusk leaned back into the leather seat and gave her a devilish smirk.

“Honestly, I wanted to see if you can charm the dude with that cute body of yours. You talk about him often, seeing as you and him have been texting in your spare time,” they commented before taking a sip of their drink.

(Y/N) covered her blushing face in her hands upon hearing their words. They were right about her texting him practically everyday. The past couple of weeks weren’t boring with the consent images of all the dishes he made. She would drool at the sight of each plate, secretly wanting to be a small piggy and pork it all down. The conversations she shared with Sanji were fun when it wasn’t about food. He would talk about recipes to asking how her day was. To her, he seemed to be a real gentlemanly kind of male. She won’t admit to anyone that she may have developed a sort of crush on the mysterious cook behind the screen.

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In the kitchen, a tall blond man was cooking up a storm. He wanted to make these dishes perfect! His pride was on the line because he was cooking for not just anyone tonight. He was cooking for the cute (H/C) female of his long text messaging nights from work. The blond always looked forward to the conversations. Each message was like a break from the stressful kitchen after cooking over thousands of plates for the hungry customs and regulars.

Sanji loved his job and he always made outstanding dishes. His mentor and father figure had taught him everything a chef of his expertise could do. The blond was the sou chef to the infamous Zeff, his teaching put him where he is now. Being a sou chef in a five star restaurant, it helped him get a better living style after the incident with his actual family. Something he wasn’t fond of and much rather leave it out of his life. When (Y/N) had texted that night, he swore he felt his heart stop.

He was telling the truth about never receiving a compliment, it was normally to Zeff who got them since he was the head chef and it was his kitchen. When he got the text, he knew it was a mistake but it nevertheless made him happy to get it. His offer on getting them a reservation had no catch, but he did want to see (Y/N)’s reaction to his cooking. He wanted her opinion over the flavors and texture the food had. To him, she was like a food angel. Not only did she give a review on the food she had all those months ago, she had remembered how she felt and how it tasted.

Tonight, he was going to outdo himself with their orders. As he finished up the detailing, Sanji set the dishes off. However, he told the server to inform the customers that once they were finished to ask for him right away. He didn’t wish to waste a moment!

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When their food had arrived, (Y/N) said her thanks before taking a careful bite of the (F/F). Her eyes widened as the pleasurable flavors a simple spoonful had. She took a minute to get herself back into reality before digging right in. Dusk chuckled to themselves at listening to her delightful moans as they ate their own meal. After they finished, the waiter came back and asked if they wished to get the chef.

“Yes, may we have a word with the chef who made these heavenly meals. We wish to personally thank them for their hard work,” Dusk quickly spoke before (Y/N) could utter a word in.

With the waiter leaving, the brunette set their napkin on their plate before getting up. (Y/N) looked up at her friend and was about to ask what they were doing. Dusk pointed over to the corner to show that they were heading to the restroom. Hiding their smirk from her, they left and let the (Y/B/H) meet her virtual crush.

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When Sanji saw her, he couldn’t help but blush at the sight of her (S/C) beauty. The dress was ravishing and showed the right amount of her to still leave for the imagination. He had to take a moment to shake his head before reaching her. He cleared his throat to get her attention and smiled at her, happy to finally see her in person after weeks of texting.

“Hey, Chérie. You look so beautiful tonight,” He smiled while standing by the table, looking down at her with gentle gray blue eyes.

His words made her cheek turn scarlet rather instantly. (Y/n) hung her head down and mumbled out a quiet thank you. There was a brief silence between the pair, until Sanji decided to tilt her head to face him. He could only smile at her before gesturing if he could take a seat with her, she quickly nodded a yes.

He broke the ice first with what he knew best, “ Was your food okay? Did it miss anything? If it did, I whip up something better for you, belle.”

Her head snapped up as she stared at the male with such shock. How could he ask if his cooking was just okay. It was way better than great and even beyond delicious!

“Your cooking is better than delicious, Sanji! It was like I was eating gold if that even has flavor. I bet you could make it taste flavorful too,” she yelled at the blond. Not a loud yell but one that sounded more firm and thankful.

His smile turned to a grin as her words made his heart flip. He chuckled at her pouty face, seeing as she may be annoyed from what he said. He reached over the table for her hand and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. Sanji was glad his cooking was marvelous enough for his angel. (Y/N) gave him a sweet smile in return, feeling the warmth from his hand on her cold hand.

They stared into each other’s eyes for the longest time, no words were shared between them. His grey ocean orbs lost in the silk smooth (E/C) depths of her eyes. They were enjoying the physical presence of each other after weeks of talking to one another over the phone. The restaurant became white noise as they were in their own world in that private booth.

Glancing down at this watch, Sanji internally dreaded the reality of going back to work. He looked back at (Y/N) before leaving a soft kiss to her hand.

“I have to get back to the kitchen if not the old man will have my hands,” he joked as he stood up and walked over to her. He smiled and shyly looked at her when he said the next few words, “May I take you on a proper date next time?”

(Y/N)’s face lit up like a fire blazing on a cold winter night. She didn’t trust her voice so instead she nodded her head as her smile grew to a grin. Sanji grinned and bent down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead, feeling relieved that his angel had said yes.

As he walked away, her brunette had returned from the restroom and took a seat back at the booth. They noticed the way (Y/N) stared longingly at the retreating blond. They didn’t bother to ask her what had happened, seeing her like a crushing schoolgirl was enough to satisfy them. Leaning back in their seat, the brunette waited for their order of strawberry cheesecake. It was after all the main reason for coming.

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[ccinagalaxyfaraway]

Soulmate au with Plo realizing his soulmate is Wolffe (choose whichever variation of the au you want)

“You missed lunch again,” Wolffe says as he enters the office with thermos and a sandwich. He pours tea into the mug closest to Plo’s hand and nudges it into his palm, triggering his drinking reflex. Wolffe rolls his eyes and settles into the chair on the other side of the desk.

“Hmm?”

“I said, you missed lunch again.”

Plo looks up from his reference. He blinks twice, looks at the watch on his wrist, and buries his face in his scarf in his hands. “Wolffe, I am so, so sorry, I know I promised but I just lost track of time-”

Wolffe chuckles. “I know what I was signing up for when we started dating.” He holds up the sandwich and then tosses it. Those books are probably worth more than his life, and if he drops sandwich on it, there’s no telling what the head librarian might do. “Here, eat something. I’ll pick you up for dinner instead after my class.”

Plo wrinkles his nose. “Are you going to shower first?” he mumbles through a mouthful of bread and cucumber.

Wolffe rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll even change. Set an alarm for 5:30 so you’re not completely surprised when I show up at 6, okay?” He gets up, presses a kiss to Plo’s forehead, and steps away. As he leaves, he can hear Plo fumbling with his phone behind him.

---

Dinner goes well - sushi, and cheesecake with strawberry for dessert. Plo spears his half of the fruit on his one abnormally long nail that he swears he keeps to help him turn pages, and that Wolffe is certain could be classed a bladed weapon. He sucks the syrup off Plo’s finger anyway and watches his light eyes darken, and then hurriedly pulls away before the suburban family at the next table can start kicking up a fuss. 

They walk back to Plo’s apartment, hand in hand, and tumble onto the couch together. A feeble attempt at watching a movie is abandoned after the third time Wolffe runs his hand down Plo’s side and plays innocent. One thing leads to another, and then they’re sprawled in bed, lazy and content. Plo’s got the covers drawn up to his nose, even with Wolffe half on top of him, nosing at his neck. He laughs lightly - he’s just a little ticklish - and squirms. 

“Never did understand what your thing with your neck is,” Wolffe mumbles. 

“I just - feel better, having it covered,” says Plo. “Always have.” 

He brushes his lips against the corner of Wolffe’s mouth and drifts to sleep.

---

Plo wakes while it’s still dark. The other half of the bed is empty, though still warm; he thinks he knows where Wolffe has gone. The bedsheets make a warm enough cover when he steps into the main room to look for his partner. They trail behind him like robes. 

Wolffe looks up at the sound of fabric on carpet. The lines around his eyes tighten, and he looks away. 

“Nightmares again?” Plo asks, joining him on the couch. He picks the middle spot, close enough to talk but not so close that Wolffe will have to push him off to get his space back. Wolffe shrugs and raises his arm, inviting, and Plo leans in.

“Just - the usual,” he says roughly. His voice is hoarse, like he’s been crying. Sometimes, when it gets bad, he’ll sneak out of bed and sleep on the couch instead so he doesn’t hit Plo by accident. Most nights he’s fine, but the bad nights come in waves and leave him shaking and desolate. 

“They’re not just from your time in the army, are they?” Plo asks. He looks up at Wolffe. “The last few times - am I causing them?”

Wolffe shakes his head. “Not your fault,” he mumbles. He pulls Plo closer, wrapping his arms around his waist, clinging tightly. His hands are shaking. 

“But they do have to do with me,” Plo says. He relaxes into the hold, and Wolffe lets out a quiet sob. “Wolffe -”

“Fate lasts three lives,” he chokes. “You ever hear that before?”

Plo studies him, brings his hands to Wolffe’s face, strokes his thumbs over his cheekbones. “This isn’t the first, then? I don’t remember . . . “

“I do.” His tone answers Plo’s next question: was it bad?

He remembers marching on alien planets, canyons and cliffs and stolen moments under twin moons while a hundred men with his face camp on bedrolls. He remembers running into a familiar-but-not face in training, and knowing they’ve met before. Years of time, flickering across his memory, all the triumphs and tragedies, but the moments that stand out most - hearing good soldiers and ordering Plo shot out of the sky, and Plo fighting beneath him and clinging to his wrists as his eyes go unfocused, starved of oxygen until his heart gives out. 

The knowledge of Plo had just - come into being one day; between one step and the next, a part of him slotted into place, and he knew Plo was out there somewhere, waiting for him. And he knew also how they had ended, how Plo’s last moments had always been a maelstrom of fear and pain and grief, and he thought I can’t kill him again, I won’t, I’d sooner die than hurt him. And so he resolved to love Plo from a distance, never allow their paths to cross, and this time Plo would live to old age. Fate laughed at him, and the very first day he was walking back from his gym he ran into a library sciences student with a scarf and silver eyes. 

He’s never been able to say no to his beloved. They’ve been together since, and every moment is a blessing and a curse. The physical barriers are gone. There’s no duty or responsibility. No cause greater than themselves. He can have Plo the way he’d once dreamed. But the fear is still there, that they’re cursed and this life will end the same way the others did; when he presses his mouth to Plo’s pulse, he is saying Forgive me, forgive me, I don’t know how I could ever believe you deserved what I did. He is saying I was too weak to stay away, and I’ve condemned us both.

He thinks Plo might understand a little of it from the way he kisses Wolffe, pressing their lips together like they have all the time in the world, never hurried even when Wolffe is urging him on to other things. He kisses Wolffe that way now, fitting himself against Wolffe’s body, straddling his hips and pushing him into the couch. They kiss, never breathless, never ending, and when Wolffe can almost forget the image of Plo dying, Plo pulls back with a soft smile.

“I think,” he says, “that you were very brave to come find me.”

“I nearly didn’t,” says Wolffe. Plo presses another kiss to Wolffe’s lips.

“I’m glad you did.”

[max-is-really-okay]

Prom

Lex never thought about going to prom. Life was too hectic. Hannah was going to be in sixth grade when it was time for that night. Lex wouldn’t have time to shop for a dress or make plans, Hannah was more important than a stupid night out that would take weeks to save up for.

Sure, there were times when she and Hannah were at the mall and she’d see a pretty dress, full of blacks and purples. Hannah would tug on her arm, and the two of them would end up at the candy store. Lex would buy her candy, even though she wasn’t supposed to eat sugar. And it was nice to not think about the dress again.

Dentist appointments took time when other sophomores were trying to flirt with seniors to go two years early. Even when Ethan joined her little family, Lex didn’t think about the normalcy that they sort of represented. She couldn’t.

There were nights though, when Ethan came along, that Lex let herself fall into the teenage dream. Hannah was with Alice and Deb, safe and sound, and Lex could let herself relax a bit. She let herself take Ethan’s jacket that was too big on her, and talk about their dreams of leaving Hatchet Field behind.

Those nights were special. The two of them would have a few hours to do whatever they wanted. Whether it be as smoking up while sitting on the back of, or making out in the back seat of Ethan’s shitty beat up truck, Lex was able to be a teenager.

Those nights ended too quickly though. Eventually she had to go home. Home to her mom, who took almost all of the money she got from ‘Toy Zone’. Her mom, who was a violent drunk. Who dropped Hannah when she was only one. Who brought home any man who offered. Who didn’t care.

When Mr. Huston left, the nights of escape got smaller and smaller. She failed. She flunked out of school, and she went full time at ‘Toy Zone’. It only got worse when Black Friday came. She had left work when it started getting crazy, but then she had found Ethan on the floor of the movie theater. She got him to the hospital, but the bills took everything from their fund. The California dream was crushed.

Then someone called Child Protective Services on her mom. There were too many signs to ignore. When she was barely seventeen, she was told to pack her bags.

Things changed for the better when Tom Huston and Becky Barns adopted Lex and Hannah. Lex was no longer in charge of doctors appointments, or finding tutors who could help Hannah understand topics in school.

It was weird when they moved in. Even though, for the first time in her life, Hannah had her own room, she still slept in the same bed as Lex. And in return, Lex still made sure she was at every appointment.

Going back to school was another adjustment. Starting senior year with people younger than her was embarrassing, until she saw that she had at least four classes with Ethan. She had a feeling Mr. Huston had something to do with it when he winked at her in shop class.

She started to accept the whole ‘normal teenager’ thing when her and Ethan were finally able to go on their first real date since she had been adopted. Lex had been too busy preparing for the world to crumble down to do anything with him that took more than an hour.

Ethan had asked her on a date, a real date, when it had been seven months. She had accepted, smiling at him and kissing his cheek. “Christ Ethan, you don’t have to be so nervous about it.” She replied. She still kissed him and held his hand as they walked down the hall together.

It was weird, asking her teacher for an extended curfew. Tom just smiled at her, as if he knew something that she didn’t. It set her on edge. She felt like she was going to be tricked. Lex was so used to being cornered, that she felt like she couldn’t breathe as she waited for Ethan to pick her up.

When she opened the door, she felt the air get knocked out of her once again. Her simple dress no longer looked like effort on her part. Ethan had gone all out, he had even combed his hair. He held her hand when he saw her, “Everything alright babe? You look ready to run off.”

Lex just shrugged and kissed him, pulling him outside. She stopped once she saw his truck. “Shit Ethan, where did you get the money to get this fixed?” She asked. She looked at the new headlights and the new wheels. Even some of the old scrapes had been painted over.

“Paul and Emma treated me to it.” He blushed. Lex smiled at the thought. Ethan had been spending a lot of time with the adults. They had taken him in, in an odd way. “They kind of surprised me with it actually…”

Lex smiled and held onto his arm “Well maybe in a year or two you could talk them into a new truck. One that could get us to California.”

He smiled and kissed her before opening her door for her. “Well you’re a gentleman...where did that come from?” Lex asked, smiling as she climbed in.

“Tonight, Babe, is a very special night. Don’t freak out, but I have got a surprise for you.” He kissed her cheek and closed her door.

Though she tried to pry on the drive, he wouldn’t budge. Eventually he turned the radio on. Classic rock filled the air, and Lex let herself relax. She let herself feel safe when she was next to him. Even though she was still a little nervous, she let the tension out of her shoulders as he held her hand on the drive.

When they arrived in Clivesdale, Lex looked at her boyfriend, “Ethan. Where are we going?” Lex tried to ask again. Her voice was tinged with doubt. All of their nicer dates were at the shitty Olive Garden at the edge of Hatchet Field. Most of the places in Clivesdale were expensive and full of high end adults.

“Babe, just relax. I promise, I’d never let anything happen to ‘ya.” He told her, kissing her hand as he kept driving.

Soon they pulled into a steakhouse. One Lex remembered mentioning that she wanted to try before everything that had happened. “Holy fuck…” She mumbled in awe.

Ethan just gave her a smug smile and walked her inside. He ignored her look of shock as he checked them in for their reservation. They were led back to a table in the corner, the hostess even pulled Lex’s chair out for her.

Ethan seemed to be growing nervous throughout the dinner. His cocky exterior started to fade as they got their dessert. He was picking at his lava cake while she smiled at her cookie cheesecake.

“So, um, Lexie. This year is almost over, and prom is coming up. And now I’ve known you for, jesus, five years. You’ve always talked about how that shit isn’t important, but I was thinking, maybe, we could go anyways. Like, fuck the system, and we go anyways. What...what do you think?”

When Lex Foster-Huston is asked, she didn’t cry. She tells people that she smiled and nodded, holding his hand and acting cool as a cucumber. But, in that moment, she couldn’t lie to herself. She had started sobbing.

The night ended an hour past her extended curfew. She came home with her dress poorly put back on and her hair put up. Tom and Becky were on the couch, his arm wrapped around his girlfriend. “Well you were out late.” Tom started.

“Ethan and I got...caught in traffic.” Lex lied. She knew she couldn’t go up to her room until she was dismissed, she just hoped she wasn’t in trouble.

“Sure. We’ll believe that for tonight.” Becky smiled. “So, what did you say?” She asked. Her eyes were bright with her old cheerleader spirit.

“He told you he was asking me to prom?” She asked. Lex had to admit that she was a little more than surprised.

“He asked me for permission.” Tom smiled at her, “He came up to me, all nervous. Thought it might be right to get my blessing or some shit. Nice kid. I approve. Next time fix your makeup when you come back in, though, kid.”

Lex blushed. “Oh. Well I said yes. And, um, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She mumbled, going upstairs. She wasn’t surprised to see Hannah comfortably in her bed, holding Webby close as she slept.

She quickly changed into some of the pajamas that Becky had bought her and climbed into bed with her little sister, wrapping her arm around one of the two people she would do anything for.

“I got asked to prom today, Banana.” She whispered with a smile on her face. “Ethan made a big deal about it too. Bought me a nice dinner at that place in Clivesdale that dad was always talking about. One day we’ll bring you there too.” She smiled at the thought.

She fell asleep with her entire world in her arms, and she fell into a comfortable world of dreams. Full of unrealistic dreams of her future with Ethan. Lex still loved them though.

The next surprise came when Becky walked up to her holding Hannah’s hand. “What’s going on…?” Lex asked, her voice laced with suspicion.

“Prom dress shopping!” Hannah smiled up at her. Lex felt her heart melt a bit when she saw how excited her little sister was.

Becky smiled at her shocked expression, “We thought it would be nice to go as a girls day.” She chirped in.

The three of them drove to the mall that Hannah and Lex used to go to on their own. The three of them walked around after grabbing cookies for themselves and a soda for Hannah. They finished before they had gotten to the store.

They walked in and they were surrounded by formal dresses in a variety of styles and colors. Lex recognized a few of the dresses immediately from when she used to pass by the window.

She looked at a few and chose three to try on. One was yellow and flowey, Hannah had been eyeing it for years. Every time they would walk by she would point at it. Lex had to give it to her to at least try it on.

The other was blue. Becky had said something about it looking like her own prom dress. Lex thought that it was a bit...preppy for her taste, but she decided to try it on anyways. She owed Becky that much.

Lex looked down at her own choice. A purple and black dress that never seemed to leave the store. She had seen it when the store opened, and it was in her arms at that moment. She smiled at the two with her and walked into the dressing room.

She put on the yellow dress and looked at herself in the mirror. She bit her lip and walked outside. Becky and Hannah lit up, telling her how pretty she looked.

“I look like Spongebob.” Lex complained.

“Yeah…” Hannah agreed. That made Lex smile.

“Well why don’t you go back in there and try on another one.” Becky politely suggested. She smiled as Lex walked back in.

She put on the blue dress that Becky had found for her. It fit her well and made her look like a princess. It was a dress that she could see Venessa from her school buying. She would go on with her boyfriend Rick and the two would be voted king and queen. That wasn’t who she was though.

When she walked out, she thought Becky would start crying. She looked so happy, and Hannah was looking at her with wide eyes. “I guess I can tell what you guys think...” Lex smiled nervously.

“Well it’s a beautiful dress on you sweetheart.” Becky smiled, “But, we want to know what you think of it.”

Hannah nodded, smiling up at her older sister.

“I…” She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t say that she didn’t like the dress, and if they liked this dress as much as they claimed, they would hate the other one.

“Try on the other dress.” Hannah blurted. She smiled at her older sister. “Webby says that this dress isn’t right. There’s...something wrong with it, but she won’t say what.”

Lex couldn’t be more grateful for a made up spider. “Well if Webby says that it’s not right, then it’s not right.” She smiled. She walked back into the dressing room and put on her choice.

When she looked into the mirror, she couldn’t stop herself from tearing up. It fit her perfectly. It was low cut and tight and then a touch of ballgown. It was dark purple and black.

She walked outside and both Hannah and Becky lit up. “Oh Lex… it’s so beautiful.” Becky smiled at her. She brushed Lex’s hair back and held her hand “You’re so beautiful.”

“It’s perfect.” Hannah smiled, hugging her sister. Lex held her younger sister tightly. She held onto Hannah’s hand.

“I think this is it. I want this one.” Lex smiled.

When they went to the register, the woman who owned the store stared at Lex. The more the older woman stared, the more uncomfortable Lex got.

“Yes?” She asked, biting her lip and tensing up.

“I’ve seen you before. Looking at this dress from the window. I was wondering when you were finally going to buy it. It’s why I haven’t thrown it out or put it on sale yet.”

“Who are you?” Lex asked.

“People call me Molag. Don’t know why, don’t care. Anywho,” She put the dress into a package “Take it for half off. It’s been here longer than your sister has been alive.” She smiled.

On the way home, Lex couldn’t believe how lucky she was. She smiled at Hannah, who was looking out the window. Becky was smiling at them from the front.

“Thank you, for the dress.” Lex told Becky.

“It’s the least I could do. You’re always helping around. I’m glad to finally help you.” She smiled back at the sisters.

Lex smiled back.

Prom came sooner than Lex expected. It felt like it was only a week, and Lex was in her room with Becky and Hannah getting ready. Hannah was happily painting her nails black and Becky was curling her hair.

“Tonight is the night.” Becky smiled as she finished with Lex’s hair.

“Yeah...it is. I’ve been waiting for it for a long time.” Lex admitted.

When she was ready, Lex almost couldn’t tear her eyes away from the mirror. She had always thought prom night would just be her and Ethan sitting where they could see Hannah. And she was okay with that. She loved her little sister more than anything in the world,

She smiled when she heard the doorbell ring, and she slipped on her silver heels. She walked down the hall and felt as everyone looked at her. Tom looked ready to cry, Becky had the biggest grin she had ever seen, Tim was giggling, and Hannah was cheering. And then Lex saw Ethan.

He was looking at her as if she was his entire universe. She walked over and looked at his hands. He had a small silver box. “What’s that?” She asked.

“You look beautiful.” He told her, not answering her question. “You always look beautiful. Every day I’ve known you, you’ve looked more beautiful than anyone I’ve ever seen. And right now, you look just as beautiful as that first time I saw you. But- fuck how do I say this? It’s different.”

“That was so fucking sappy…” She mumbled, but Lex noticed her strained voice. She kissed his cheek.

“I got you this...I think it’s called a corsage. Emma said that it’s what you give girls on prom, but I didn’t want to get you one of the pink ones… “ He rambled, pushing the box into her hands. “So I got you the best one I could find.”

Lex opened the box to find black and silver flowers “Jesus Christ Ethan...it’s beautiful.” She mumbled, hugging him.

He helped her pin the flowers to her dress. Tom and Becky made them pose for photos, and then the two of them were allowed to leave.

They started driving to the school and Lex smiled at Ethan. “I think this is the best night of my life.” She told him. He smiled and nodded.

They arrived at the venue and gave the volunteer their tickets. Inside, music was playing and tables were set up.

Ethan looked nervous as he spoke up above the slow music playing. “Do you want to dance?” He asked.

Lex smiled and nodded. And as she took his hand, she was happy to finally feel normal. As she rested her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around him, she wasn’t upset that they weren’t in California. She was happy.

[myhockeyworld87]

Birthday Babe

Word Count: 2260

POV: Reader

Warning: None

Notes: So it was my birthday recently and this just sort of popped in my head. So consider it my present to you. Hope everyone has a great weekend! Peace, love and hugs!

The alarm rang, signaling it was time for you and Jamie to wake up and start your day; which wasn’t unusual. However, today was a bit special because it was your birthday. Reaching over you turned the alarm off, as Jamie groaned next you; not wanting to wake up yet. You stretched as much as you could with his body draped across yours. Planting a kiss on your neck, he whispered “Good morning, baby.”

 Rolling over to face him, you kissed him fully on the lips; not caring that you both had morning breath. “Morning.” You waited for him to say more, like happy birthday or something simple along those lines; but instead he just started getting out of bed. Mentally you frowned. Last year Jamie, had made your birthday so special; taking you out to a romantic dinner, buying you a beautiful bouquet of flowers, not to mention the extravagant piece of jewelry that you wore all the time. This year, however, he hadn’t mentioned any plans at all. Maybe he was just going to spring it on you at the last minute, or maybe over breakfast.

 You got out of bed and went about your normal routine, getting ready for work. All through breakfast you kept waiting for him to say something. Finally, he asked; “So got anything special planned for today?”

 “No, I kind of left today open for us.”

“Oh wow, sorry babe; I’ve got a ton to do today with the team. You know, practice and then I think we have some media things to do; but I’m sure we can catch up later tonight.”

 He forgot. He truly didn’t remember that today was your birthday. You tried not to let the disappointment show on your face, though you had a feeling you weren’t doing a good job. “Oh ok, no problem. I’ll call you later and maybe we can figure something out.”

 He was standing at the sink, putting dishes in the dishwasher; as if you hadn’t said anything. “Yeah sure babe, sounds good. I really gotta run, have a great day.” With that he left, without even giving you a kiss goodbye; to say you were crushed was an understatement. You sat there a full five minutes without moving; then you finally got up and headed to work.

 Co-workers had brought you in cupcakes and during your break they all sang Happy Birthday to you, which was super sweet. At lunchtime, your parents called and wished you a happy birthday as well; of course, they wouldn’t forget, after all your mom was in labor for over twenty hours with you. In the afternoon, your best friend called wanting to know if you wanted to go out for dinner and drinks. “Let me text Jamie and I’ll get back to you in like five minutes, ok Jenna?”

 You: Hey Babe! Jenna called and wanted to do dinner tonight. I wasn’t sure if you had anything planned for us.

 Jamie: Nope, no plans. Have a great time.

 You: Are you sure? It’s not a big deal, I can come home and we can do something.

 Jamie: Yeah I’m sure. Tyler mentioned something about coming over to his place so I’ll probably head over there.

 You: Ok have fun.

 Jamie: You too!

 Seriously, you felt like crying, which was completely stupid. It was just another day, and really after your twenty-first birthday, did any others after that matter? You certainly couldn’t think of any. Texting Jenna back, you told her you’d meet her after work; and went about the rest of your day.

 “I can’t believe he forgot my birthday Jenna.” You’d only just sat down at the table and already you were complaining. “I mean after everything he did last year; I would never expect him to forget this year.”

 “Well, with the season starting and all, he has a lot on his mind. I’m sure he’ll make it up to you once he remembers.” Jenna was right, Jamie probably would do something over the top; once it finally hit his thick skull that he’d missed your special day. “Knowing Jamie, he’ll probably beat himself up about it too.”

 “I know you’re right. He has been a bit preoccupied lately, and it’s just a birthday; I shouldn’t be making that big a deal out of it. It’s not like I wanted anything special, just a cake would’ve been nice.” You both laughed. It had been a running joke in your circle. Two years in a row your parents had been on vacation during the day you were born. You’d whined and complained that there was no cake to make a wish on. So now when anyone asked what you wanted for your birthday, you always said a cake.

 “Well had I known he was going to forget; I totally would’ve got you the biggest buttercream frosted cake I could find.” Knowing Jenna, she’d be at Jamie’s house tomorrow with it; making him feel bad in the process. “You’ll have to settle for a piece of cheesecake for now.”

 “You’re the best Jenna!” Just then your phone beeped, a text from Jamie showing up.

 All the guys are at Seggy’s, probably won’t be home when you get there. Contractor came today and did the garage, make sure you use the front door when you come home. See ya late tonight! Love ya!

 He had decided a few weeks ago the garage needed repainted; claiming the paint was peeling, though you couldn’t see where. You text him back a quick, ok love you too. “Well looks like this day is just getting better.” Sarcasm dripped from your voice. “Wanna come over to the house after this, have some wine and binge some tv. Jame is bailing on me for the rest of the night.”

 “Sounds like a plan.” Thank god for best friends. You and Jenna finished your meal and dessert, then headed back to the house. Jamie’s car was nowhere in sight, so he must still be at Tyler’s.

 You and Jenna made your way to the front door. You rarely used this entrance and it took you a minute to find the right key; finally, you were able to open the door. The entrance looked like something out of a magazine. Balloons cover the ceiling and were scattered all over the floor; vases of roses were strategically placed throughout. Slowly you made your way through the exquisite maze. “What the...”

 It was the next thing that had your heart beating out of its chest. Dozens of people all yelling “Surprise!” Jamie standing in the middle of all of them, smiling brightly at you. You stood there, shocked beyond belief; he hadn’t forgotten. Suddenly you were surrounded by people, all of them hugging you and wishing you happy birthday. Your parents were there, Jamie’s family had flown in as well, all of your friends and a majority of his teammates and significant others; were all there to celebrate you. Overwhelmed was the only word that came to mind. Tyler handed you a drink, “Looks like Chubbs got you good (Y/N).”

 “Oh my God, he totally did. I can’t believe you were all in on this.” Out of the corner of your eye you spotted Jamie, standing back while everyone came up to you. Slowly you made you way over to him.

 He leaned down and kissed you. “Happy Birthday Baby! Were you surprised?”

 “Surprised! I totally thought you forgot! I was complaining so much to Jenna at dinner; I can’t believe she didn’t give you up.” His hand slid around your waist drawing you closer. “How did you do all this? It’s amazing.”

 “This was nothing.” He said referring to the party. “The hard part was making you think I forgot. I felt horrible this morning. I knew I was going to give myself away; so, I just ran out the door. Then I had to get you to come through the front door; by the way I didn’t have the garage painted. I saw you checking it last week.” He was chuckling.

 Playfully you smacked his chest. “Oh, you are so bad, but I love you so much. Thank you for everything.”

 Raising his eyebrows, he added. “It’s not over yet, there’s still cake.” Just then, Jenna and Tyler brought over a massive cake, candles flickering; as everyone sang Happy Birthday. Jamie held your waist from behind, as they came forward. “Make a wish baby.”

 Leaning back into him, whispering; “I already have everything I’ve ever wanted.” As the melody came to an end you blew the candles out; everyone chanting for you to give a speech. “Gosh, this was such a surprise. Thank you all for coming, it means so much to me. I’m so blessed to have each one of you in my life, and to share this day with me. I honestly never expected anything like this today.” You smiled back at Jamie. “In fact, I kind of thought this one here forgot; but I should’ve known better. Jame, you are the best boyfriend in the world for throwing me such a fabulous party; I’m so lucky to have you. I love you so much.” Everyone let out an awe. “Thanks everyone, I love you all too. Now let’s party.”

 Jamie, pulled back from you; using a commanding voice to get everyone attention. “Before we all get back to celebrating; I’d like to say a few words.” He turned you, so you could face him. “First off, I want to thank everyone for helping me make this day special for (Y/N); especially my co-conspirator Jenna. I couldn’t have pulled this off without your help.” You smiled over at one of your best friends. “I knew awhile ago, that I wanted today to be amazing for (Y/N); for as you all know, she’s the type of person that goes out of her way to make you feel special. From the day I met her, she’s supported me; not only in hockey but in everyday life, which I know is not always easy. I know that I don’t deserve you, but I’m so happy you picked me. Babe, I can’t throw you enough parties, or buy anything that will compare to all that you’ve given me, but if you let me, I want to try and make you happy for the rest of our lives.” He dropped down to one knee; you gasped along with everyone else, tears forming in your eyes. Reaching up he grabbed your hand before he continued. “(Y/N), as we stand here today in front of all our friends and family, I want them to know how much I love you. I probably don’t tell you this enough, but you’re my best friend, my world and the love of my life. I don’t know where I’d be without you. I love you so damn much, and I want to spend an eternity showing you. So, (Y/FN) will do me the greatest honor of my life, and marry me?”

 Tears flowing freely now, you nodded your head yes frantically; until you finally found your voice. “Yes Jamie, yes! I’ll marry you.” Everyone around you started cheering, yet it was as if they all disappeared; and there was only you and Jamie. He slid the most gorgeous diamond ring on your finger. Then in one swift movement, he got up sweeping you off your feet, and twirling you around in a circle. Leaning down you captured his lips in a passionate kiss, that stole your breath away. When he finally set you on your feet, your lips still didn’t part; it wasn’t until Tyler nudged Jamie that you two remembered you were in a room full of people. “This has been the best birthday of my life. I can’t believe we’re engaged.” You kissed him one last time quickly.

 “You’ve made me the happiest man alive; do you know that?” The two of you were still just smiling happily at each other.

 Finally, you took a minute to examine the engagement ring Jamie had just slipped on you. It was an emerald cut diamond, at least five carats, surrounded by dozens of round diamonds on all sides, with even more diamonds along the band. It was undoubtedly, the most exquisite piece of jewelry you’d ever owned; your hands were trembling just looking at it on your ring finger. Looking up at Jamie, you finally spoke. “I don’t know how you’re going to top this present next year.” You both laughed. “Seriously Jame, this has been the best day of my life.”

 “Even though you thought I forgot your birthday.”

 “Well no, that wasn’t fun.” A small giggle escaped your lips. “But the rest of tonight has been magical. I love you so much, and I can’t wait to be your wife. Thank you so much baby.”

 Hands on both sides of his face, you kissed him yet again. “Your welcome love; and let’s not make this a long engagement.” You looked at him sideways, questioning where he was going. “Because by next year, I’m hopping we’re going to be able to surprise everyone by adding another Benn to the family.”

 As you stood within Jamie’s arms, you couldn’t help but imagine telling all your loved ones; you were pregnant. “Well, we’re going to have to wait until they all leave before we get started on that Mr. Benn.”

  “If you insist, soon-to-be Mrs. Benn.” Leaning down he kissed you, letting you know how much he loved and cherished you. “Happy Birthday Babe!

[fics-not-tragedies]

In a Week: Chapter 13 🌲

Words: 1483; Warnings: none, unless you want another warning for drinking alcohol, then you have it; Summary: The evening unwinds, the dinner ends, but it seems like there’s much more for her to experience than Flo thought.

Hozier tag list:

@letoursilencebreaktonight​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​; @angelpeachamber​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​; @sgt-morgan​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​; @julessbrown​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​;

Monday, 10:15pm

When the starters had been cleared away and the main courses were placed, Andrew’s green eyes were wide and ravenous at the size of his plate.

“It’s quite, em, massive” he chuckled, then lowered his tone to make a joke about his steak, “Have you ever seen, em… a bigger piece of meat than this one?” He chuckled.

“Behave” she tittered, a little light-headed from the first sip of her second glass of wine after Andrew had insisted they just bring her the bottle.

They ate hungrily, both focused as much on each other as the food. They took time to ask questions they’d forgotten to so far, trying to take in as much information about families and their hometowns, the movies they’d seen and the ones they had been meaning to.

“Have you seriously never seen Dirty Dancing?”

“No, should I?”

“Absolutely.”

“Perhaps you’d watch it with me?”

“Perhaps.”

Monday, 10:20pm

They were almost finished with their second course when Andrew turned back to the view, the lights dotted along the skyline so mesmerizing.

“Stunning setting for that date, isn’t it?” He drawled, sitting back a little in his cushioned chair, the buzz of alcohol on his lips giving him the cocky, confident edge he first tried with her. Of course it had failed him last night, she has seen straight through it, but it was certainly worth a second shot, even just for fun.

“We’re on a date, are we?” She laughed back, not breaking her eye contact once.

“Well it has all the obvious signs of a date…” he shrugged, lips a little pouty.

“Which are?” She sipped from her glass, her fingers wrapping around it, intrigued. He paused, lifting a final forkful to his lips and chewing in thought.

“Good food… butterflies in my stomach… beautiful girl giving me the eye-”

“I most certainly am not giving you the eye, Andrew…”

She took another long gulp from her glass and squeezed her lips together defensively. Andrew shifted forward in his seat, resting his hand on the table as close to hers as he could without touching her. For a moment Flo thought he was going to take hers and hold it like almost every other couple in the restaurant, unsure if she’d actually be able to resist his touch. But he was purposely being a tease in his actions, had noticed how she noticed and was thriving off it. His words were a little slower, his nose wrinkling with effort as he spoke.

“Hmm… I know when a woman wants me…” he drawled, eye contact steady, his overconfidence fueled by the alcohol he already drank, hoping this persona will do him better than the usual one, “and I hate to break it to you, my love, but, em, you are giving me the eye.”

There was an impossible silence in which Flo could feel her heart rate increase, had to close her eyes for a moment and focus so not to fall for his honeyed words. His fingers danced close to her wrist, trying to spark a reaction.

“Are we really doing this now?” she asked quickly, her question direct, her eyebrow arched.

“Mhmm.”

“Are you sure?” She had been waiting for his abrupt forwardness to show again, had been desperate to retaliate to something after being civil about it all for so long.

“Go for it” he sighed through gritted teeth, loving how easy it was to challenge her.

“Well…” she began, taking one last sip from her wine glass before placing it out of fear she’d smash it somehow, “I’m pretty sure you’ve been trying to get me into bed with you since we met. So don’t act the innocent.”

“But you are tempted, aren’t you? You’re curious.”

“I didn’t start it.”

“Didn’t say you did” he smirked, jaw tense, “But you are tempted and I bet you already, em, thought about it.”

“And you haven’t?”

“Oh, I definitely have. Numerous times…” Flo bit her lip hard, unable to ignore what he was telling her, what he was admitting out loud and what she had too in such a short amount of time, “You’re blushing, Flo.”

“I know.”

She couldn’t meet his eye, couldn’t bring herself to give in, refusing to let him win this easily. And then his fingers brushed over the smooth skin of her wrist, reminiscent of the very first time they touched and she almost whimpered, clamping her other hand on the table just to keep herself still. The alcohol had made her feel dizzy and she was now aware of his cologne too - it was all too much. His calloused fingertips ran over the veins of her wrist, his muddy eyes locked on hers, waiting to be blessed with her full attention again.

“Well, we clearly don’t have very much self-control around each other” she stated, her breath shaky and uneven, hoping he won’t move his fingers to slide them down her wrist, “...only friends…” she repeated, her cherry-red lips pursed together as she brought her eyes up to meet his.

“W-what?” Andrew was obviously confused, not sure what her point was. His face was still, but the movement of his fingers against her skin stilled for a second and it caught her off guard when he started to move them again.

“Back there, when we came in…” she swallowed dryly, “you said we were ‘only friends’.”

“Aren’t we?” He smirked gently, his lips parting as he waited for her answer.

“You tell me, Andrew…”

“Can I interest you in any desserts?” Jack asked suddenly, cutting the pair off as he stopped beside their table. It took a moment for Andrew to register he was actually there, but when he did he flinched violently, like he just been caught doing something very wrong and retreated into his own personal space. Flo felt the absence of his touch painfully, pulling her own arm back and turning her focus to the waiter.

“I have the menus here if you’d like to take a look.”

“Are you in?” Andrew asked Flo, though the dessert was the very last thing on his mind.

“I’m in.”

Monday, 10:30pm

Flo and Andy were both feeling rather frustrated and flustered by the conversation, with neither of them winning anything, rather just confirming that they couldn’t have what they now knew they wanted equally. The silence was unbearable, the awkwardness hard to see through and as much as Andrew had wanted to wind her up about their sexual tension, he hated to think of her genuinely affected by anything he’d said or done. The next time Flo heard Andrew speak was when he ordered.

“I’d like the triple chocolate cake a-and, em, the raspberry cheesecake, please, Jack…”

“Both?” She laughed hesitantly, his childish smile back at her easing her nerves a little.

“Yeah, both” he replied with a shrug, “Couldn’t decide.”

“I’ll have the tiramisu, please” she hummed, giving Jack her best flirtatious grin before he disappeared, just to annoy Andrew a tiny bit more, “Do you have room for two?” She sighed, turning back to him.

“Watch me.”

Monday, 10:45pm

To even his surprise, Andrew polished off both plates in no time, licking his lips with delight as he threw his fork down in triumph.

“Told you, love…” he sat back in his chair and sipped on the remainders of his second whiskey, fully indulged by food, drink and her.

“Well, I’m very proud of you” she giggled.

“Oh. Andy?” She mumbled, obviously suppressing a laugh.

“Yes?”

“You’ve - uh - got a bit of chocolate on your lip…” she smirked, pointing to her own slightly smudged lips to indicate where it was.

“Oh, that’s not good…” he grumbled, patting at his mouth frantically with a napkin and managing to miss the blob of brown each time. She laughed and he sighed in frustration.

“Let me…” she giggled, lifting her hand to his face and swiping at the chocolate with her own napkin. She lingered there for a moment, staring at his chapped pink lips, wondering whether he’d taste more of chocolate or raspberry or whiskey, “… Help you.”

“Thank you…” he replied, softly, weaker for her than ever when she reluctantly pulled away.

“Flo?”

“Andy?”

“I’m sorry if I… overstepped… any boundaries…”

“It’s fine…” she replied, trying to reassure him with the casualness of her voice.

“I wouldn’t ever wanna make you feel-”

“Andrew, it’s okay…”

Flo lean forward and without thinking covered his hand with hers to reassure him, the softness back in his face providing her with such comfort, her fingers brushing over his with little care for the consequences. With her permission now he linked his fingers with hers, caressing the side of her thumb with his.

“I’ll get the bill…” he suggested, at least ten seconds later, his voice deeper, gravelly, “I’ve one place I really want to show you…”

[hqolympia]

chicago’s very own 𝐎𝐋𝐘𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐕𝐄 has been spotted on madison avenue driving a chevrolet corvette z06 , welcome ! your resemblance to 𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒍𝒗𝒊𝒏 is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your 𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒅 birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re 𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 , but being 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒆 might help you . i think being a 𝒈𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒊 explains that .  3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be 𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧 ,  𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐳𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧 & 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 . 

hi ,  peachy !  my  name’s  char  &  that  smile  of  yours  is  making  my  heart  melt !  🥺 allow  me  to  introduce  u  to  my  fren  over  here !

full name :  olympia  giselle  hargrove

nickname :  oly ,  pia  (tho, the latter one is reserved for her grandmother)

date of birth :  may  22nd , 1997  (23) 

birth place :  chicago , il

sexual orientation : pansexual

occupation :  competitive diver

labels :  the  crimson  /  the  icarian

𝐢.  𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

one :  picture a little girl with bright blue eyes, pigtails bouncing with every step she takes as a grin makes its way upon her face . she seems happy ---- and in the moment she truly is, despite the fact that the people she needs the most, her parents, are a few thousand miles away and aren’t here to see olympia say her first words or take her first step. she is too young to understand --- honestly, too young to even think about the reasons why they left her.

two :  she is a little bit older now, a full-on eleven years old --- taller, thinner and, most importantly, rowdier. she has quite a few friends, although they all seem to be having picnics with their barbie dolls and sleepovers dedicated to watching princess movies whereas olympia wants to run around and jump all over the place. the girls just don’t seem to match her energy, the boys aren’t exactly welcoming towards her, having this stupid, “ew, but you’re a girl!” mindset. she just wants to find something for herself, something that will keep her interested for longer than three hours ---- that something turned out to be diving.

three :  it’s a few years later, and now she’s standing at the 10m platform. it’s her last dive, and she needs to get it exactly right to win the gold medal. olympia would honestly be lying if she said her legs weren’t shaking because of how nervous she was --- but there’s a camera right in front of her face, therefore she has to keep it together. she turns around, takes one last breath, and then she’s up in the air. fifteen seconds later she’s fully submerged into water ----- and fifteen minutes later she has tears coming out of her eyes. she did it. she’s the world champion now.

four : it’s exactly a year later, and a lot has changed. olympia finds herself in the sunny city of rio de janeiro where she’s come to compete in her first olympic games --- which is exactly what she’s always been meant to do, judging by the name her parents gave her. except this time she’s nervous for an entirely different reason --- she’s now a successful athlete, this season’s leader and the one to watch out for. she’s the reigning world champion, for god’s sake, so she has to prove every single person out there she didn’t win on an accident. a lot of things seem to be going wrong; from oly flubbing her first dive to her coach coming up to her before her final one to say that her parents have showed up at the arena. eventually she finds herself in the same exact position as she did back in Russia ---- her palms are sweating, her legs are shaking, but there’s no turning back. the only way is down, so she has to dive one way or another. a jump, two somersaults, a twist ----- she’s back in the pool, and as she immediately drowns in the roar coming from the audience, tears start coming out of her eyes. she did it again. she’s lived up to her name.

five :  ever since she got back home, her life has completely changed. interview after interview, a campaign after a photoshoot, an event after the other ---- all of that mixed in with her training routine has it ups and downs. her schedule keeps her busy yet there’s something missing. she’s looking everywhere in the hopes of finding that missing piece, and at some point she feels like she’s found it in the face of a stranger who ends up in her bed that night. it brings her a sense of serenity, that lasts a few weeks ---- but olympia knows it’s all too good to be true, and it’s proven to be that way as she stumbles upon a certain page on a random night. it doesn’t seem real at first, but when she spots a tattoo on the girl’s ribcage, a realization hits her ---- she’s plastered all over porn sites, and that particular video featuring her has generated a few million views in a span of two months. she doesn’t remember the night at first due to her drunken state, but she recognizes her bedroom, particularly a personalized louis vuitton gym bag sitting in the corner. details like that help her piece the night together, and from that point on there’s nothing but fear of it all coming out and ruining her career.

𝐢𝐢.  𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀

basically ! this intro is all over the place so here are some bullet points to get u up to speed !

oly was born in chicago but grew up and spent most of her time in toronto with her grandmother, since her parents were setting up their business overseas. they were coming by to visit her maybe once or twice a year, so she isn’t as close with them.

she is a competitive diver (a quite decorated one bc .... why wouldn’t she be 🥺🥺🥺)  representing canada bc of her upbringing despite the fact that she now lives in new york (she moved here in 2017, after the rio olympics)

astrology wise, she is a gemini sun cancer rising .... so sorry to all of u for this

her placements mean that she is quite creative, capricious and may appear manic sometimes --- but really she is just downright STUPID bc she is always trying to get her ass into trouble. like, you can’t even imagine how many times her coach had to drag her out of the mess she got herself into ... 

she is very much about having sympathy for others and helping them and whatnot, but unbeknownst to her, these tendencies can be explained by the “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” mindset. she has to keep her act straight, so getting onto someone’s bad side isn’t in the cards for her --- god knows what kind of shit she may end up in now that she’s a part of ... this world of glamour and fame, u kno?

olympia also really loves to talk, preach, argue --- just do whatever to be heard

in her free time (the time when she doesn’t feel like wreaking havoc tbh) she usually cooks deserts (vegan banana pudding? blackberry sorbet? key lime cheesecake? u want it, u got it!), reads books (painted veil by somerset is her ultimate FAV) and ... drives around town whilst listening to some cheesy music 🥺 

other than that her usual routine consists of training, clubbing and messing shit up due to the chaotic stupid personality !

𝐢𝐢𝐢.  𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

i promise this intro won’t be that long ... after this ! 🤠🤠🤠these are just the few ideas i can get off the top of my head so ... there’s always room for brainstorming ! :-)

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐃 / close friends --- everybody needs some sort of a support system in their life, and oly is no exception to this rule. she’s never really had a big family, therefore she’s always surrounded herself with people in the hopes of filling the empty space in her heart. and honestly, if it wasn’t for these people, she would’ve quit diving right after winning the olympics, moved to the suburbs of toronto and just lived a quiet life --- but the pride for her friends just gives her enough motivation to move further and become better.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐄 / best friend --- we all have that someone who’s impossibly close to us; who we cannot imagine our lives without. the bond is so crucial to them both parties that it feels as if there’s never been a moment without each other. the general public and tabloids, though, feel as if there’s more going on and will not stop nagging them about the details.

𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐘 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐃 / friends drifted apart / exes --- as weird as it is, oly is very much a yolo person. in addition to that, she has a ton of love and devotion for every single person she’s ever had in her life no matter what happened between them or what caused them to drift apart. though, her ever-changing nature is known to drive people away which, tbh, happens to be a blessing and a curse -- it helps oly sort of “filter” through her circle of friends, but then again, if someone enters her life, they leave and undeniable impact on it. therefore, she misses whoever left her life more than they could ever imagine.

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 / rival (?) --- olympia isn’t perfect in any way, shape or form. she knows that, but most importantly, the public knows that and will not stop critiquing every little thing that she does. this person, though, is the exact opposite - the public LOVES them to the point where even olympia’s parents would probably say things like “ugh, i wish you could be more like that!”. this makes the relationship between the two quite ... strained. because as much as olympia may love them as a person, there’s always this lingering sense of jealousy that just enables her petty side.

𝐢𝐯. 𝐎𝐎𝐂

ok so ! if you’ve reached this part of my intro ... i cannot thank u enough bc this ?? this is long as HECK but i wanted to actually try and describe the kind of muse i envision in my head. i love u all a latte & if u feel like plotting w/ my dumb kid, leave a like on this post or feel free to mssg me on discord under futurenostalgias#1692 🤠sidenote tho: i’ll probably get to the mssgs in a few hours seeing as i have a few assignments to complete and i’m sorta braindead ... love u , cannot wait to write w/ u ! xoxo ur friendly neighborhood trash char  

[allaboutannabeth]

just talk

The sun had set hours ago and Annabeth had been practicing what she wanted to say to Lacey. Finally, with sweaty palms and a racing heart, she took the cheesecake, a dark, brownish red to the bedroom, the smallest one, upstairs. A soft, tentative knock, then Annabeth waited. 

Lacey swung the door wide, knowing who it was before she opened the door. Out of them all, Annabeth had been the one she needed to mend the most fences with, other than Jack. And out of them all, she had spent the least amount of time with her. She’d felt her flutter of nerves, heard the way she’d paced back and forth down in the kitchen, and knew by feel that AB was the one on the other side of the door. She offered what she hoped was a welcoming, warm smile, but feared just looked stilted. Lacey didn’t know how to act around her. The woman had stolen her husband. She’d almost killed Annabeth. Things were complicated, to say the least. But there was cheesecake and the stilted smile turned into something real as she lit up, excited for a treat.

“You didn’t need to bring me that…” she said, glancing from the decadent cake to Annabeth’s slightly wary eyes. Lacey expected this was the big heave ho, that the cake was a bribe. Take the cake, pack your shit, get the fuck out. She’d go. 

“I’ll just pack,” she muttered, stepping back to admit Annabeth and went to the closet where she’d begun to store a few things. She had no doubt heard about her kissing Doc. Knew that there were a lot of lines crossed with Ryan. Maybe she even knew about the times she’d kissed Jack. “I’ll be out in a few, okay? Just don’t uninvite me until I get my stuff, if you don’t mind…” She’d deserve to be kicked out. Of course. She was very good at making other people’s lives implode. 

Annabeth was startled into stepping back when the door opened, but she recovered and came closer, wanting to be near her. “Pack?” she asked, confusion clouding her wide, blue eyes. “Where are you going? Wes would hate it. Stay…” She stepped inside after her, realization hitting her all at once when the vampire started to busy herself with her clothes. “...You think I’m kicking you out? I’m not. I just…” she closed the door after a moment’’s hesitation and held the cake aloft to the vampire. “Please. I brought… “ Her free hand dove into her pocket and came out with a fork. “Go ahead. Eat. Please…”

Clearing her throat once the cake was out of her hands and Lacey had sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, Annabeth settled herself on the edge of an armchair, draped with Lacey’s clothes over the back. It took everything in her to not get up and start folding them. 

“We need to talk.”

Those words could stop the heart of a human. As it was, they made Lacey feel as if she had gone suddenly pale. 

“Talk… Okay….” she drew the words out before stabbing her fork into the cake and eating a bite. The familiar texture, the hint of chocolate, had her forgetting that Annabeth wanted to talk and probably wanted to ream her ass. She was transported, blissed out by the first bite of cheesecake. A soft little moan escaped her lips as she pulled the fork from her mouth, clean of any crumbs. 

Annabeth felt herself sitting forward when Lacey moaned, her lip caught between her teeth. That… was not the normal reaction she had to Lacey. To any woman other than Ryan, really. A weird feeling, she thought, passing it off as some fluke. That sound could make people think things.

“Yeah. Talk…” she said, letting out a breath. “You know… I’ve been jealous of you for a long, long time. I wanted to be you…” Lacey’s head jerked up when Annabeth said that last, her mouth dropped open, much like the surprised Pikachu that Doc so loved to use in their group chat. “I did. Because you had him more than I did. You had his son. You had a life with him. I had stolen moments. Fear. I had a half-life. But then… You left. I met Doc. Things got… complicated. Now, we’re good. We’ve built something, all of us.” Sucking in a breath, Anna looked down at her hands before going on. Two rings. One for each hand. And Ryan had given her one of those hokey best friend necklaces one night after they’d… Well, it had been an intimate moment no matter what. “We’ve got a rock solid foundation under us all, we’ve made a family. We’ve become happy.” 

Lacey, feeling ashamed of the way she’d treated this woman, listened, sometimes picking at the cheesecake. Mostly, she just watched her. The rings. The way she smiled just a little when she looked at them, or tugged on the necklace around her neck. The way her cheeks bloomed with color. Some memory had stirred, making her blush. “I wouldn’t wish being me on my worst enemy,” she whispered. “And… I don’t want to… I won’t blow up your life.” Dave’s words slapped her in the face again and she looked down into her lap lest blood tears leak and betray how hurt he’d made her when he’d said that. “I just want to be near… everyone. But Wes especially. Please, don’t send me away.” Her lips trembled and she felt the tears coming. Gods, he had hurt her. Don’t destroy everything you touch, Lacey. Don’t ever find a shred of happiness because if you do, it comes with a cost.

Without her noticing, Annabeth had crossed the room and pressed a packet of wet wipes into Lacey’s hand. Tears must not have been as secret as she’d thought.

Anna had brought the wipes because she noticed Jack carried them. They’d come in handy a time or two. And now.

“No one said you would blow up our lives…” she said, sinking into the bed next to Lacey and putting her arm around her. Fear was there, somewhere, still, but the need to comfort her, the need to make sure she was okay, outweighed it.

“You’re part of our lives, you know? You’re family. And I know you’re closer… a lot closer… to the others. Getting closer all the time, it seems, and I’m glad. I… I want you to make this your home. I want you to be there for Wes. For Jack. He needs you, more than he’ll admit to me. I need you too, because if you’re here, he’s happier. I need him to be happy. He’s my world…” Licking her lips, she petted Lacey’s hair, the gesture unconscious. “You’re part of us, and if that means you get… “ she had to clear her throat again. Try to force herself not to blush. “Get a lot closer to Jack, Ryan, and Doc… Well, that’s going to take some getting used to but I’m not going to begrudge any of them what makes them happy.” 

Lacey could not have been more surprised had Annabeth told her she’d spouted tentacles out of her vagina. Her mouth hung open and then closed. Opened again. A fish out of water. “I…”

Anna cut her off, her hand slicing through the air before them. 

“Make them happy, the relationship we’ve built is like a house. It’s strong. Has good bones. But if you blow up my house, I will not be nice. I will make your life difficult. I will make you leave this house and I will revoke my blessing for you to do whatever it takes to make them happy.” Her face had gone from pink to hard as stone as she pronounced the last, her hand, in Lacey’s hair, tightening until the vampire yelped. She released her, face softening in an instant.

“So sorry! I didn’t…” And she knew then that things could, and would, work out. Because she’d hurt the vampire. And all Lacey had done was get a little fangy. And yelp. Like a kicked puppy.

Her fingers untangled and she finger-combed her hair once more.

“...Are you really saying I can fuck them?” Lacey asked, incredulous. That had to be a trick. The hair yank forgotten as she tried to process what Annabeth had said. “Because that’s what it sounds like you’re saying. But that’s ridiculous. You would never say that…” Lacey squinted, trying to see if she detected falsehood. None. “You are insane…” she whispered, laughing.

“No,” Annabeth corrected. “I’m not crazy. I just know that sometimes, you make the choice that’s hard for you because it makes the people you love happy. I almost like you. I want you to be okay, and that’s a new feeling that I’m not used to. I want you to be happy. Please you. And them. I want them to be happy more than anything. So, we’ll see if this works out.” Annabeth patted her hair one more time, stood up and smoothed her skirt. “But remember… You bomb my house and I nuke your life.” 

“Good night.”

One last smile, one on the chilly side, and Annabeth left, leaving Lacey with a half-eaten cheesecake she didn’t want anymore and a lot of questions she didn’t think she wanted to know the answers to. 

Nuke… she thought as the door shut, shaking her head. The rabbit maybe had grown a spine. And dammit if she didn’t respect a woman who could threaten a vampire when she was a human, small and unable to fight. Much like she felt about Ryan.

“This house gets weirder, every fucking night.”

[incoramsanctissimo]

Guys I got tagged in something this hasn’t happened since 2016 ahhhh

*ahem*

Thanks, @thewanderingzeppelin!

Rule 1: Always post the rules.

Rule 2: Answer questions that are given to you and then write 11 new ones.

Rule 3: Tag 11 people

Rule 4: Let them know you tagged them.

Rule 5: Don’t change the rules.

1.  What is your favorite month of the year and why?

It kinda depends on where I’m living, but in general it’s October. It’s my birth month and it’s cooler and bright and colorful and just all together very enjoyable, and I used to enjoy being in the swing of the school year at that point, too. Now it’s also my wedding month so yay! On the other hand, I lived in Arizona for two years and February there was beautiful, full of lemon blossoms and breezes and actual Rainy Days.

2.  If you could have any car, free of charge, given to you in mint condition, what would you choose?

A black 2011 Honda Fit. That was my first car and I loved it and miss it terribly. (Short story, I totaled it and have been driving junkers since.)

3.  If you could live anywhere (with unlimited resources for visits to family if needed), where would it be?

Boy howdy I’ve been puzzling this one a lot lately. I moved from Virginia to Colorado and am starting to wonder if I don’t actually rather dislike the latter, but I don’t know where I would actually want to be. I feel a bit homeless, to be honest.

4.  What book have you read recently that gave you really strong feelings, either good or bad?

I read Louis de Wohl’s life of St Augustine, and while I don’t think it was a particularly amazing piece of literature really (just read the Confessions, it’s so much better) it made an impact on me because I was struggling with certain sins and I felt like Augustine understood. I don’t know that it caused a tangible difference in my actions but it saved me from a degree of despair.

5.  When you are feeling frustrated/aggravated about life, what do you do to help yourself feel better?

Light candles, eat food, and read a book. (Totally taking recommendations btw)

6.  What is your favorite dessert?

Cheesecake/flan. I also love all kinds of cookies but I kinda lived on them at certain points while in school and it has sadly decreased my appetite for them.

7.  What toy did you have has a child that still gives you a warm fuzzy to remember it?

The little beanie baby kitty I had as a 3-year-old that I put in the box of donations for the poor because I was deeply touched by my mom’s explanation that some families didn’t have enough money to buy toys for their little ones. I carried that kitty everywhere with me, but I never regretted it. I have a very clear memory of putting it carefully in the box, petting its head and telling it to be a good kitty for some other little girl. I think my mom cried.

8. What is your favorite time of day?

Early morning or dusk.

9.  What are some words of wisdom you like to live by?

“Thy will be done.” I don’t always like to live by that but I try, and it does help.

10.  What’s a quick and easy meal you like?  (No, seriously, I’m looking for recipes all the time haha)

Pasta. I use jar sauce cause I’m a terrible Italian, but it’s sooo quick. Red sauce with ground sausage is the bestest. I also do a lot of quesadillas.

11.  What is another tumblr blog that you follow that you really enjoy their posts?

I enjoy so many of you guys, it’s hard to pick one. Hm. @why-bless-your-heart is pretty awesome. 😊

My questions:

1. When you were a child, what did you imagine your adult life would be like? Does it bear any similarity to reality?

2. What’s the best gift someone could give you?

3. Favorite holiday tradition? (For any holiday)

4. Do you plan a monthly budget? If so, what’s the highest priority on it?

5. Has a single person ever changed your life? If so, how?

6. Ideal weather?

7. Favorite pastime?

8. How do you feel about getting into debates, especially ones in which your opponent(s) are unlikely to give in regardless of the outcome?

9. Name a movie that you loved as a kid and feel differently about as an adult

10. Do you have dream house? What’s it like?

11. Is it meaningful for you if someone brings you flowers?

Well that was fun. I’ll tag @joan-of-heart, @catherine-of-alexandria @halfasaint, @iamfitzwilliamdarcy, @roccondil, @windflowerfairy, @sicutcervus, @when-the-saints, and anyone else interested. For those tagged, no obligation, only if you feel like it!

[bebepac]

While We Were Apart 💔

This is a special Mia’s 🌎 World.  The idea came in the form of a conversation with @queenwalton​​ who absolutely adores our sweet cinnamon roll Jaiden. I did something a little similar in the past, a chapter  My Brown Eyed Girl, but this goes into more detail, of Jaiden’s feelings during the time they were broken up.  We see a little more of his family dynamic here.  

I am participating in @wackydrabbles​​ prompt # 120  How long am I supposed to wait, which will be in bold.

The Book: TRR (none of the freshman character appear in this chapter) 

Pairing: None: Both Jaiden and Mia are currently single

Warnings: Sadness from a breakup

Rating: PG

Word Count: 1997

Mia (TRR MC) even though I have evolved her well beyond the original TRR MC I give Pixelberry credit for.  Drake belongs to PB, Michael belongs to @burnsoslow​ borrowed with her blessing. All others are my own characters to help tell our story.

Summary:  Jaiden’s POV  of time spent away from Mia during their breakup.

A/N:  This was a strange chapter for me, I generally have 1 song that kind of defines the chapter.  Well.... This one has four.    The section where I think the song fits best will be titled the song:   I don’t own any rights to the music:

Sorry by Buckcherry

October Eyes by Alt Bloom

Fancy Like by Walker Hayes (feat. Kesha)

Sway by Alt Bloom

Original Post Update 11/11/21 at 10:15PM EST.

Sorry

“What is there to understand Mia? You got upset, you pushed me away, and you ran to Liam. And the only reason YOU didn’t cheat, is because he rejected you! I think I get what’s going on.”

“Please don’t do this.”  Mia stepped closer to him, and in turn, Jaiden backed away from her.  “Jai, you told me you loved me.”

She looked up at him, searching his eyes, for anything she could hold onto to aid her in counteracting what was happening in that moment. Her eyes pleaded with him not to do what he was doing.

 But there was no turning back.

“I did. Now I feel like I wasted my first time on you.”  

Mia gasped in shock, and finally let a sob escape her lips.  

“That was a really mean thing to say, Jaiden get out.”  

He regretted it immediately.  He wanted to hurt her as much as the thought of her cheating  with Liam hurt, and the look of misery in Mia's eyes, his mission was accomplished.

He took steps towards her.

“Mia…..”  He whispered softly.  She didn’t even look up at him.

He had wanted to hurt her, not make her cry; in his mind they weren’t the same thing.  He was cruel to her, and he knew she was wrong, but he still loved her. Maybe he shouldn't have said he wanted to break up. Because deep down, he didn't.  

Mia screamed at him to leave and hurled the slice of cheesecake at him, missing him completely.  

He decided that it was best to leave before he made her even more upset.  He glanced at Mia one last time; she had crumpled herself into a ball, with  her knees pulled to her chest, covering her face with her hands crying.

As he headed across the quad towards his dorm room, his phone beeped. On the screen there was a broken heart between the two of their pictures with the caption 'Mia Jones is single.'

It was really over, and now their whole little world knew it. Jaiden bit his lip staring at the screen for a moment,  then turned off his phone as the notifications started to blow up his phone.

Jaiden changed direction, instead of heading towards his dorm, he went towards the campus parking lot.  

Was he a total child that the only people he wanted to be around in this moment of pain were his parents, that he needed them?   Jai was relieved seeing both his parents' vehicles home.

“Jai?  What are you doing at home?  Not that we’re not happy to…..  Jai what’s wrong?”

“Mia…" was the only word Jaiden could choke out before he burst into tears.

“Oh honey….. What’s wrong?”  

He hugged his mother tightly.

"It's okay Jai, it's okay."

She ran her fingers through his hair while Jason gently rubbed Jaiden's back.

After a few moments Ren led him over to the couch to sit down. Jason turned off the television.

"What happened with you and Mia?"

He crumpled the tissue in his hands looking down at it.

"You and Mia broke up, didn’t you?”  Ren inquired gently.

Jaiden nodded.

“What happened son?”  Jason asked.

Jaiden shook his head. “I love her.”  

“We know you do Jai. Do you want to talk about it?”  

“No.”

“Want to stay here tonight?”  

“Yes.”

"Have you eaten dinner yet, Jai?"

He shook his head.

"C'mon I'll fix you a plate."

"And I'll put fresh linen on your bed."

His father gently patted him on the back, as he followed his mother into the kitchen.  Jaiden had dated other girls in the past, none were like Mia.  Mia Jones, was his first love, and their relationship ending, had torn him apart.

“What do you think happened between them, Ren?”  

“I don’t know, but it's clear Jaiden didn’t want to break up.”

“Maybe Mia broke up with him. Mia is a lot more outgoing and social than he is. Jaiden can be a little shy at times. But to me, that doesn’t feel right either. They compliment each other so well.”

“Maybe he’ll talk more when he is ready. You know we can’t push him. He’s just like you in that aspect Jason.”

“Let’s just give him time.”    

After he ate, he went up to his room. Memories of the first time he was with Mia made him tear up again. 

The whole situation was not going to be easy for him.  He didn’t want to just get over Mia.

He did not realize how much Mia was an integral part of his life until now they had parted ways.  He spent so much time with Mia at her dorm room avoiding his weird roommate.  To avoid Michael and his weirdness, Jaiden had started going home at nights more to sleep until his father said something.

“You know, if you’re staying home so much, maybe next year you can think about commuting and we wouldn’t be paying for a dorm room that you’re not even staying in.”

“Jason! Jai, he doesn’t mean it like that.  You’re welcome here.  I love having you around the house again.”  

Jaiden got the message, and stopped hiding at his parents house.  

“Can’t believe you broke up with Mia. You’re crazy man.”

“I’m crazy? You cut me out of a picture with my girlfriend and added yourself in, Michael.”

To avoid his roommate, he spent a lot of time at the library which is where he met Carmen.

Carmen’s campus work study was to be a library assistant  and she  was speaking to him, and flirted with him.

He was beginning to spend more time with Carmen not only at the library, but her dorm, and he had taken her out a few times.  Carmen was nice enough, but she wasn’t Mia. And just when he thought he might be able to move on a little bit, the universe threw him a big just kidding.  

A country themed wedding in the fall.  

But it gets worse.

It never ceases to amaze how big and small the city they lived in was at times.  

October Eyes 

“I promise you Jai, we didn’t plan this. Your mom had emergency surgery.”  

“That’s what you said.”  

“And it’s true. I wouldn’t do this to you, especially after you two being blindsided by your mothers. Weddings can be awkward enough.”

“I’m locking in this is going to get a lot more awkward for me, final answer.”  

He glanced across the  way to Mia with her Mom.

Mia abruptly stopped talking  when her eyes met his.

She looked to be having the same conversation with her mom.  

"Let's say hello to them."

Awkward hellos were exchanged between Mia and Jaiden.  Jason and Gloria chit-chatted like old friends.

“Where’s Pop’s today?”  Jason inquired.

“Feeling under the weather, which is why Mia is my plus one today.”

“Think it has anything to do with the playoff game going on right now?”  

Gloria winked with a knowing smile. “Of course it doesn’t! Never crossed my mind.”

Both Jason and Gloria lightheartedly laughed, as Jaiden’s eyes found Mia's again.  

Mia looked like the personification of Autumn in her multi shades of brown and gold dress,  Her hair blown out into soft waves, and cowboy boots for the theme wedding.  She looked beautiful.

"I'm glad to see someone I know and enjoy their company. Mind if we sit together?"

They walked over to the covered hay bales bundles that had been set up  for two people for each bale.

Jaiden went to sit next to his father when Gloria sat next to him instead.

She smiled at Jaiden.

Jaiden's face turned pink when he realized he would have to sit next to Mia the duration of the ceremony.

He tried to make small talk, as did Mia, but they quickly fell into awkward silence.

  During the ceremony, Mia was stealing just as many glances at him, as he was at her.

Mia’s fingertips lightly brushed his wrist, causing him to make eye contact with her.

“It was an accident,'' she stammered.  

“It’s alright.” He whispered.  He wanted to believe it wasn’t an accident, it was Mia reaching out for him, so he decided to make it more obvious. He took her hand in his gently squeezing it.  

Mia looked up at him, her grip tightening on his hand.  Maybe it was just the emotion of the wedding, but neither let go from the other’s grasp during  the remainder of the ceremony.

Fancy Like 

The reception had them  at different tables.  

“You should ask her to dance Jai. Both Gloria and I saw you two holding hands during the wedding, just make up with each other already. You two are meant to be."

“It’s not that easy Dad.  How long am I supposed to wait?”

“If Mia is worth it to you, as long as it takes.  Go ask her to dance.  Get your girl back.”

Jaiden stood from the table, as he walked across the grass towards where Mia was sitting with her mom, he stopped.  

Drake walked up to the table talking to Mia, and the two got up together heading towards the dance floor instead.   They seemed to be having the conversation they needed to, as both apologized when the song ended.  

“Do I have to?”  Jaiden asked.

“You’re single, go on.”

Jaiden stood with all the other single men as the Groom ceremoniously removed his new wife’s garter for garter toss.  Ironic.  Jaiden thought as he caught it.  He grimaced as the photographer flashed the camera in his face.  

Mia gathered with the single women, some looked ready to fight for the bouquet, but the damn thing sailed right to her hands.

The universe was not done with them yet.

The bride Bebe picked up the microphone.

“Since we love love so much, we thought how about we help facilitate a few sparks of our own.  Our winners will share our first dance with us.”  

The original wedding vibe was lively and upbeat. By evening  the wedding was more romantic. White lights twinkled and hung from the trees. The vibe had changed to slow, sensual, and sultry. Sexually charged energy filled the night air.

Sway

“These two look like they already have chemistry.”

“Your first dance is supposed to be special.” Mia politely disagreed.

“I agree with Mia.”  Jaiden said softly.

“And it will be because, it’s with who I’m supposed to be with. Get over here Husband!”  Bebe said with a laugh, as her husband Tony slipped his arms around her.  

A slow, seductive song started playing over the speakers.  

Jaiden took Mia in his arms confidently. It felt so right, down to the way Mia curled his hair at the nape of his neck around her fingertips.

I just wanna sway

I just wanna sway with you

Don't got no aim

Just want my arms around some truth

Little love, little hope

Little taste of affection

Some seconds 'til the chaos resumes

I just wanna sway

Sway

Mia's body pressed against his, her head rested on his shoulder. Jaiden closed his eyes, resting his chin on her forehead.  Their embrace tightened as the whole world fell away and it was just them in that moment.  

Someone lightly cleared their throat.

Bebe had a huge smile on her face.  The song had been over a while.

“You know, we'll reset the ceremony space, and our officiant is sorta sober.”

“Double wedding!” Tony chanted, Bebe high fived Tony.

“You two stole the show.  You need to give him your number sweetie.”  

“He already has it.”  Mia pulled away from Jaiden.

“Then you need to use it.”

“That’s not going to happen.”  Mia walked away from them.  

That hurt of Mia pulling away from him in front of everyone hit Jaiden really hard. That evening he wasn’t proud of the next thing he did to try to dull his heartache.

When the door opened, he kissed her.

“May I come in?”

Carmen nodded excitedly and  pulled him inside her room.  

[kyloripped]

Slice

@spockandspan challenged me to write a fic with the theme of “Star Wars”, “A Slice of Cake” and “Seaside”. So if you desire a kylux fic set in Blackpool with a very put out Hux forced to work in an old lady tea room over the summer with the unexpected customer of a surly goth Ben Solo, this is the fic for you...

[Ao3 Link]

 The bell over the door tinkled as Hux pushed it open. With a sigh, he picked up the eye watering flowery apron hung carelessly over a hook and yanked it around him. He fastened the lurid green spotted tie around his waist and just managed to plaster a smile onto his face as the owner of the tearoom waddled in from the back room. He frowned.

“We talked about the smiling.” Mr. Snoke said, “I would rather you didn’t bother. You look like you’ve stolen one of my lemons from the pantry.”

Face falling into a scowl, Hux turned to sort out the spoons in the cutlery rack. Three more weeks. Three more damn weeks and he would be free from this shitty summer job. His heart sang as he imagined never having to look at a victoria sponge again, never having to hear that the yellow and green of his apron looked lovely with his hair. It didn’t. People lied because they could see the pain Hux was in at being exiled in an old lady tearoom in one of the nicest summers in memory.

The seagulls gave their ringing calls outside, a few braver ones floating down to nick a few crumbs of cake from the tables outside before attacking locals for their cones of chips. Snoke berated Hux for not cleaning the tables properly and Hux imagined using the cake slicer on his stupid wrinkled head as he scrubbed the fussy tablecloths clean again. Families walked past with small children crunching on sticks of rock, a few pointing hopefully at the quaint little tearoom Hux was currently imprisoned in. The parents cast their eye over his tortured expression, gave him a sympathetic look and poked their children towards the beach instead.

Blackpool was full to the brim with beachgoers, eyes on the tacky slot machines and feet free to walk the gritty sand as they pleased. Hux was full to the brim with irritation, although he supposed it was fairly pleasant to start the day with a piece of cheesecake. He put himself back in Snoke’s good books a little when he made them both a cup of tea in one of their more chipped teapots. He sat behind the till and sipped, feeling a little sanity slipping back in with the tea.

The day began with the typical crowd. Gaggles of elderly ladies flocked in like bright hatted birds, complaining loudly about the weather and complimenting him one after another on his hair. They were alright really; if Hux smiled and snuck them an extra biscuit or two he could often wangle a tip.

To be honest, it was the children that tested his nerves, the young ones with their endless mess and the surly teenagers who wouldn’t even look at him when they ordered their food. In the afternoon Hux looked up to see an exact specimen wedged into the furthest corner he could find and staunchly ignoring both of his parents.

Sighing with the inevitability of it all, Hux wandered over with a carefully edited version of his usual smile. There was a lingering feeling of an argument with this family, the father being too loud and bright and the mother sighing when she thought no one was paying attention. The son had his arms crossed and was staring out of the window at a boat. He was frowning at the boat as if it had done him a personal offense.

He was kind of spectacular, this specimen. Thick eyeliner, black nail varnish and clothes entirely inappropriate for a visit to the seaside. Too many chains for one thing. Goth. Hux’s mind supplied with amusement. His lip twitched. Unfortunately, the boy noticed and the long nose turned towards him.

“Hello?” The boy said, a little too rudely.

Ah, American. Hux thought. His amusement grew. He actually liked it when people were rude because it meant he was allowed to be rude back.

“Oh, hello.” Hux repeated sweetly, “You quite surprised me there. Blended in with the corner.”

His scowl deepened as the father snorted. The mother gave him a warning look and turned imploringly to Hux instead.

“Could we order, please?” She asked, looking quite like she wished they hadn’t bothered coming in at all. Feeling sorry for her, Hux relented.

“Of course.” He brought out his notepad, “What can I get for you?”

While the parents ordered, the son looked down at the patterned placemats. His dark hair fell across his shoulder to reveal a big ear with many piercings. Hux was distracted by a particularly large silver one, wondering if it was as ridiculously heavy as it looked.

“Ben?” The mother said suddenly, breaking him out of his reverie, “What do you want?”

The boy looked up for approximately one second before bringing his attention back to the placemat.

“Nothing.” He said in an unexpectedly deep voice. His mother sighed again.

“Ben, please.” She sounded at the end of her tether. Ben just shrugged.

“I’ll just, ah, go.” Hux said pointedly.

He reversed as quickly as he could in the limited movement his tight apron allowed, blessing the fact that the large cake counter would hide this dismal family away from view. He had managed maybe five paces when a bored voice called.

“Can I have a lemon drizzle cake?”

Hux didn’t mind serving people, but he didn’t like being called at like a housemaid. He turned back and shone the full force of his unedited smile at this irritating boy.

“Of course.” Hux beamed at him, “Anything else? A drink?”

“Uh.” He was pleased to see the boy looking a little unsettled. “A… coffee. Black.”

Hux cocked an eyebrow at him. Ben looked a little sheepish.

“Two sugars, actually.”

Feeling victorious, Hux moved to the kitchen area and began preparing the drinks. As he had wished, a large carrot cake blocked Ben’s stupid face quite nicely. As the kettle gave a dull roar and the coffee machine gurgled in its long-suffering way, Hux set about slicing the cakes. Unfortunately, his mind was still on the strange goth boy and his family and he wasn’t paying ample attention to his job. The knife slipped and he cut his finger quite marvellously on the sharp blade.

“God fucking damn it, shit-“ He cursed, inspecting the jagged cut. There was a slight cough from the right. Hux looked up to see none other than Ben leaning over the counter and looking faintly amused.

“Uh, hi.” He said. It was Hux’s turn to scowl.

“What do you want?” He shot back, forgetting as usual his promise to Snoke to be polite to every customer. Ben’s amused expression didn’t falter for an instant.

“I was wondering if I could have a cookie too?” He asked, pointing at a jar on the counter.

“It’s not a cookie.” Hux sniffed haughtily, “It’s a biscuit.”

“Whatever.” Ben said, “Three, please. I kinda need a peace offering here.”

Feeling thoroughly pissed off now, Hux reached for the jar. But Ben reached over at the same time and Hux saw that he had a few leather wristbands and a spiky bracelet just before the hand accidentally settled on his. He stared.

“You’re bleeding on the cake.” Ben supplied helpfully. With a jolt, Hux looked down and saw that his finger was dripping fine red drops onto the slice of lemon drizzle cake he had just cut.

“Oh, fantastic.” Hux snapped, “What a great day. Really adds a special something to the whole experience, don’t you think?”

“I do.” Ben grinned. He had a nice grin, very goofy on his mismatched face. “I would rather have less blood on my cake though.”

“Honestly? I would have expected that to be your sort of thing.” Hux said, eyeing the pentagram necklace hanging on his neck. Ben gave a laugh.

“Not really. Here,” He pulled a napkin from the cutlery stand and held it out. Hux took it gratefully and wrapped it around his finger.

“Thank you.” He really didn’t need a throbbing finger to add to his already stressful day. “I’ll try not to bleed on the next slice.”

“Good.” Ben was still grinning, “Love your apron.”

Hux stared as he stalked off with the plate of biscuits, treated to his nicely broad back. He had no business having a back as nice as that. Hux was feeling a little disgruntled as he wiped the bloody evidence away on the plate below him.

Eventually he got the cakes out, balancing them awkwardly on a tray as he tried not to jostle his finger. There was an air of a stalemate at the table now, for which Hux was grateful.

“Sorry for the wait.” Hux said as he laid the teapot on the table, “I had an unfortunate kitchen situation.”

“That’s okay, kid.” The dad replied, giving him a winning smile, “We have enough of them at home.”

The mother kicked him under the table. As he cursed she turned to Hux.

“Ignore him.” She said, staring daggers at her husband, “I’m an excellent cook. I just have terrible critics.”

The father and son exchanged a glance but seemed to think it safer not to reply to this. Hux could help but slip into a smile, a real one this time. Ben was watching him closely.

“I’ll be over here if you need anything.” He said, pointing to the till, “Just call or frisbee one of the plates over. Anything to break the monotony.”

He had played his cards right and the family laughed. He felt pleased as he settled back behind the cake counter, glad that he had managed to steer a family away from total destruction. He had seen it happen too many times this summer. Tears and broken plates and crying before the tea had even stewed properly. But the family looked quite chipper as they settled into eating the cakes. He busied himself with wiping a few tables and slipped them another plate of biscuits when Snoke disappeared into the back room.

Unfortunately, the tearoom began filling up with the usual afternoon crowd and Hux was weaving through the frilly cushioned chairs and wooden tables with the balance of an acrobat, balancing cakes and precious cups on tea carefully in his arms. He couldn’t go back to the family until he gave them the bill, and even then an old dear pulled at his sleeve and distracted him. When it slowed down he saw to his dismay that they had left.

Filled with something resembling disappointment, Hux set about clearing the table. His hands brushed across the crumbs and abandoned knives and forks until they settled on a napkin that had been under Ben’s plate. It looked untouched, but when Hux looked down at it he saw words had been written on it in eyeliner.

What’s your name?

Hux stared at the clumsily written words. He whipped his head around the café, searching for this distinctly weird boy. But he just saw a few coiffed hairdos and canes. Confused, he spent the rest of the day with the napkin in his aproned pocket.

 ***

The next day dawned with an iron-grey sky heavy with the threat of raindrops. Hux cursed the wretched sun for choosing today to disappear as he frantically pulled the tablecloths off of the outside tables when the heavens finally broke. Blackpool Tower was blurred in the rain, red lights blinking forlornly in the deluge. Hux ran back into the tearoom with his arms full of sopping fabric, hating the summer and hating whoever invented tablecloths even more.

In the afternoon there was a sea of sodden coats and rain slicked hair as beachgoers huddled to escape the deluge. The café was rather small and Hux felt a little claustrophobic as he sliced cake after cake, his finger encased in a flowery plaster Snoke had pulled from some god-forsaken cupboard. About midway through his shift he looked up and started as he saw a dark shape dripping in a long coat in the corner.

Smoothing his wet hair into something resembling neatness, Hux walked over to the table. Yes, he recognised the long nose peeking out of the hood. The painted black nails came up to lower the hood and Ben shook his mane of hair out like a dog. His make-up was running a little today, Hux was pleased to notice.

“Why, hello.” Hux said smoothly, slipping a menu onto his table. “I can’t believe you actually came back to this shithole.”

Ben just looked at him, head tipped to the side as he surveyed Hux. He held himself differently without his parents. He was a little cockier and sat a little less stiffly on his chair. Hux suddenly remembered the feeling of the hand on his own, warm and unexpected.

“Guess it was more interesting than I thought.” Ben suggested, “I’ll have another cookie, please.”

“Biscuit.” Hux turned swiftly around.

“Same thing.” Ben called after him. He lifted up the menu and grinned when another napkin fell onto his lap.

Hux.

  ***

 This sequence repeated for a few days. How Ben could both afford and have the appetite for so many biscuits, Hux didn’t know, but he quite enjoyed having the dark shape huddled in the corner every afternoon. They could have easily talked but there was something quite fun about exchanging the messages, especially when Ben came back with his parents later on in the week. Snoke also kept his beady eye on Hux if he spoke with people for too long anyway. Hux spent the late afternoons washing the various patterned pieces of crockery with the messages in his pocket.

Hux?

 “Ben the Goth”?

 Fair. Here long?

 Three more weeks. Save me.

Aw damn, I’m here two.

 Lucky.

 Do you have a break at all?

 Hux had thought long and hard about an answer to this. He had to go into the back on the pretence of checking the lemons for non-existent mould so that Ben couldn’t see him grin.

 Maybe.

 There, that was good. Not too eager, but enough for Ben to grasp onto. He waited impatiently for the next message and it did not disappoint.

 What do I have to do to get your number?

 Hux forced his expression into neutrality and dropped the napkin in front of Ben, heart beating fast as he walked away and saw the hands grasping for it.

 More than you’re doing now.

 Hux loved watching Ben read that one. His eyes widened and his big lips parted in surprise. He looked up and gave Hux such an annoyed stare that Hux whisked behind the counter to safety. He wiped some crumbs away from the money drawer and so didn’t catch the shadow until it had fallen over him.

“Asshole.” The growl came from above. Hux straightened up and feigned an innocent expression.

“I’m sorry.” Hux offered, “Was your food unsatisfactory?”

It was lucky that it was the end of the day, as no customers were there to witness Ben darting across the counter and grabbing the front of Hux’s apron in a very ungraceful way. Hux could barely give even a squeak as Ben pulled him close and kissed him roughly against the glass of the cake counter. For all of his fury he didn’t seem very experienced; all big nose and awkward hands. But it was lovely really, although Hux hope that they hadn’t jostled the battenbergs too badly. When Ben drew back he had smudged lipstick and a distinct challenge in his eyes. Hux suspected that he had lipstick all over his face and liked it.

“I’m sorry.” Hux said after a few moments, “Is that how you treat every waiter you meet?”

Ben gave a huff, still holding onto his apron.

“No.” He said, clearly annoyed that he hadn’t completely rendered Hux speechless with his actions, “Only the particularly annoying ones.”

Hux kissed him again just to shut him up. Ben was better this time, leaning into it a bit more. Hux’s hand found his waist and then slipped under his shirt to feel his stomach. Ben shivered at the touch of his cold hands.

“I’m free this evening.” Hux said, very pleased at this discovery, “Make it worth my time.”

He slipped his hand just slightly below his waistband and Ben gave another shiver.

“Meet me at the pier.” He said very quickly, “Eight. Wear the apron.”

This actually did render Hux speechless for a moment.

“What?” He protested.  Ben looked him up and down, seemingly absorbed with the sight.

“I lied before. It’s terrifying.” He said, almost in an awed voice, “I can’t imagine you without it.”

Hux just shook his head in exasperation. Ben was utterly ridiculous. And yet, and yet. He felt very nice, and he kissed even more nicely with a little prompting.

“You weirdo.” Hux just said, “Fine, eight it is. Buy me dinner.”

Ben grinned at him and slunk away, moving to pick his bag from the table. The sky was slowly leaking orange into the darkening blue as Ben made his way out of the door and towards the beach. As Hux watched him go, he wondered if his job was really so terrible after all. 

(Here is the majestic beauty of the apron. You’re welcome).

[journeywithrenee]

July 30, 2017

BEFORE YOU START READING

If you haven’t read my previous post, I would like to encourage you to consider donating blood this summer! It will benefit many patients in the various hospitals within Toronto and can save lives. Here is an article about the current shortage of blood:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/critical-blood-shortage-1.4164669

Truthfully I’ve been putting off writing this because it’s been so long and updates have accumulated since I last wrote. It’s my fault for being lazy haha but I’m back now with a fresh update right off the press. A fair warning: I’m not sure how long this update is going to be but something is telling me that it’s going to be a mini essay. Grab some tea or something as you’ll probably need to sit and read (I mean, if you want to).

Shorter Days

My days at the hospital are shorter now that I’m in consolidation. It also helps that our appointments are always in the wee hours of the morning (okay not THAT early but it’s early for me…) Getting in early usually means getting out early. Blood work and ECGs (something used to monitor my heart) are only done on Mondays and Thursdays. Those days are a little longer but we still get out before rush hour. I now usually have the second half of the day to myself to do what I want to do (which is usually not much because I’m usually rather tired when I get back from the hospital). 

Medical Updates

That being said, this past Tuesday (my birthday) was the last day of my first consolidation phase. I now have 3 ish weeks off before I start my second cycle. I am eating my oral chemo pills during this time off but I do not have to go to the hospital to get chemo through my IV. I go to a clinic three times a week to get my line flushed (just so nothing bad gets into my picc line and infects it). My dressing also gets changed once a week. I’m doing pretty well consider it’s only my first phase. I am experiencing no major side effects which is great. I will talk about this in a subcategory but for now I can proudly say that although I’m more tired than usual, I have not experienced any side effects from the chemo. The only thing that has been a little tricky is my picc line. My skin developed a sudden reaction to the adhesive from the dressing that protects the site (where the pipe uhh, goes into my body LOL) from germs. I got rashes under the dressing as well as around it. I put some prescribed ointment whenever my dressing is changed underneath the dressing. The rashes around the dressing have subsided and the type of dressing has been changed. It’s still kind itchy underneath the dressing as there are still some remaining rashes but it’s nothing that I can’t handle. Fair warning: the picture is kinda gross.

My birthday

As some of you know, my birthday was this past Tuesday aka July 25th aka my last day of chemo for phase 1. Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday! This birthday was a little weird for me. It’s something that I have to repeat to the nurses on the daily (actually literally everywhere in the hospital. It’s for safety reasons ofc) and when the day actually came I was like YUP WOW I’m 22 now. Anyways, I’m incredibly blessed with amazing family and friends. My parents bought me this BOMB NEW LAMP. I’m so stoked about this lamp, it might be the best thing that happened to my room.

this picture doesn’t do it any justice. It has 12 different dimming settings AND there are 5 different types of light. Natural light, cool light, warm light, idk what other light but there are 5 settings. It’s amazing ok?

A group of my close friends surprised me the Sunday before my birthday. They blew up 22 helium balloons as well as many regular ones and hid in my basement, scaring the living daylights out of me. I love them. (they bought me the kpop albums that I’ve been wanting from my favourite group). Did I say I love them? Well I’ll say it again. I love them.

I also received a package from the States from a friend that used to live in Canada. (If you’re reading this I hope it’s okay to post this picture!)

I may have shed a womanly tear or two. 

I received a touching card that also made me cry more than one womanly tear. Why are my friends so amazing? 

Lastly, two of my friends actually dropped by my house on my birthday to give me some cheese tarts from Uncle Tetsu. (Don’t be mad at me Uncle Tetsu cheesecake lovers but I think I like the tarts more.) (Also, Carmen and Tiff, if you’re reading this I hope it’s okay that I post this picture too HAHA)

I’m not sure what my hand is doing and I really need to stand straighter but THANKS GUYS! I love you so much! *sends heart eyes your way*

my “cake” cutting process (although I already too two huge bites as you can see LOL)

Imminent hair loss

It’s not really imminent, it’s already happening. I used to watch movies and stuff where someone had cancer. The sad parts are always when they run their hand through their hair and chunks of hair are tangled in their fingers. WELL THAT’S HAPPENING TO ME RIGHT NOW and even though I said I was ready in my previous blog post I am Not Ready (capital N and R for emphasis).  I fortunately don’t have any bald spots yet, it’s a even hair loss I guess but once it gets really patchy this hair will be gone from my head. Come on Renee, you can do it. 

My carpet after every shower. This amount has now doubled. 

My future plans

Some of you have heard already but I am officially enrolled in an online course for September! I’m excited to get my schooling on again, even though it’s only one course this semester. My hope is that by January, I can take 4 courses or so and be a full time student again.

My days off

Now that I have three weeks off, I’m going to be pre-studying for the course that I’m taking. I’m worried that my brain has not been worked as much as it should’ve been during the past few months. I’ve also picked up bullet journalling/photo journalling again. The process is soothing and it allows me to be creative in my own way. 

this is my title page for the month of August. It’s the first time I’ve drawn something with pencil crayon (I find the medium really hard to work with LOL).

Someone suggested to me that I write a book/memoir about my experience with leukemia and the more I think about it, the more I’m considering doing it. Sometimes I narrate words in my head and it sounds kinda good LOL. Renee the author…I feel like my parents would be the only ones that would buy this book LOL

My wishes came true

I’m going to say it. I ate gon chow ngau ho for the first time since I got diagnosed. 

LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY. 

I also was able to go out for the first time in a really long time. I went to Unionville with my parents and we ate ice cream. Even though I’m mostly still house-ridden I’m glad for opportunities like this.

My mom said I need to change my smile immediately. 

Annoying insurance companies

My chemo pills are were covered by my mom’s insurance company. They’re really pricy and I was glad that they covered it UNTIL they told us that they will no longer cover it. Long story short, I just turned 22. That means I will not be covered anymore unless I am a full time student even though the reason why I need to be covered is the reason why I cannot be a full time student. It’s…frustrating. We’re still sorting it out.

Prayer Requests

Please pray for my parents as they have SO much on their plates right now. Pray that God will give them the wisdom and strength to make it through all of it.

Please pray that something will happen with the annoying insurance company. I feel so hopeless about the situation

Please pray that I will not cry if I lose all my hair HAHA

Please pray for me as I prepare to start studying again. I’ve never been the greatest student but I want to do well despite the fact that I’ll be studying/going through chemo at the same time. School kinda scares me. 

Thanks for reading friends!

[happy2bmyownboss]

I had planned to just ‘chill out’ this weekend and maybe work on our next little house on the prairie adventure but lately, things rarely go as planned around here.

Friday had been rearranged for a very important event that didn’t happen because of a HUGE misunderstanding. To say I was disappointed would be a HUGE understatement but this event has been rescheduled for Wednesday, so fingers crossed that everything goes as planned.

Friday evening I had been binge-watching some Fixer Upper when a text came through. It was from Southwestern Produce to let us know that they had rescheduled the veggie pickup due to bad weather… well, that threw a little wrench in Saturday’s plans as I had already scheduled a few other things around the pickup but I quickly got to work a rescheduled things so I wouldn’t have to get up quite so early… yay! I still need to figure out a plan for next weekend as I already had plans for Saturday morning…

After the kids were in bed, I decided to go ahead and take a nice long hot shower and try out my new Norwex body cloths. I had heard that if you used them to exfoliate before shaving then you would have smoother legs for longer… it’s true. Almost three days later and I barely have any stubble… They also work well to remove makeup… even waterproof mascara!

That night my stomach started to hurt so bad… I guess those treats from the bread store do not agree with me anymore. I will miss my carrot cakes but I’m sure with a little bit of experimenting I will find something similar that is THM approved and my tummy will be happy again. I was up most of the night throwing up… I have such a bad gag reflex that if I even hear someone vomiting I will start myself, then once I start I can’t stop… not fun.

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 –Thank you!

Saturday morning I woke up in the recliner feeling as though a herd of horses had taken turns kicking me in the stomach. I woke up early even though I’d planned on sleeping in but Ms. Comet has her routines and she lets everyone know when something is off.

After bringing her in from her walk I got a phone call from Mr. Awesome who was out of town for a meeting. He needed us to come to where he was which was about 3 hours away… sigh, I really didn’t feel like going but decided it might be fun to go and there was a square dance scheduled for that night as well.

I had to go out to the shed to grab the kids’ suitcase which is always half-prepped for travel. While I was out there I decided, for some unknown reason, to straighten things up a bit as it has gotten a bit cluttered from some shopping that I have done over the past few months.

Within a few minutes I had it looking pretty good and I just had one more box to move… a very heavy box. As I was moving the box I lost my balance and started to fall. I let go of the box, the box fell forward, and I went backward. I put an arm out… even though I knew I shouldn’t, and landed on my extended hand which snapped my wrist the wrong way. OUCH!!!

I got myself up and brushed off and grabbed the suitcase to head to the house. I had a good bruise and scrape on my left arm and it feels like a bad sprain. My arm was in a bit of pain but there was so much to do and just a little time to get it done. I still needed to run an errand and go by Walmart as I had promised to take a neighbor by there. While we were there I grabbed an arm brace and an ACE bandage to put on my arm in the hopes it would quit throbbing. I also took a couple of ibuprofen to help with the pain.

After finishing up our errands we headed on our drive. About midway, we stopped to go potty and grab a bite to eat. Traveling with all of these kids can be a little crazy so I decided to stop at a McDonald’s that was near the exit. After dragging all the kids to the restroom and coming out to go ahead and order some lunch I noticed someone had my oldest son, who has special needs, by the arm… I almost freaked out. I’ve heard all of those CRAZY stories and my mind was flooded with a million different thoughts.

As it turned out it was the manager and she was very helpful. She made sure to help us get our food ordered and even helped me get the drinks and all. It was extremely nice to find such a friendly person on such a CRAZY day. We got our order and were on our way again.

As we got close to our destination we saw some dinosaurs along the road… the kids really loved this and we plan to try to make another trip down to visit this place soon!

Upon arrival at our destination, I was a bit grumpy… really grumpy! My arm was killing me and my back was starting to ache as well and Mr. Awesome was not anywhere to be found! It turns out that I had made it there sooner than he had expected and he had gone to lunch. Yeah, I wasn’t really a pleasant person and I have apologized for my mood a couple of times.

Mr. Awesome gave me the hotel key and I punched the address into the GPS and gladly headed that way while he stayed for the second half of his meeting. I was really looking forward to getting everything unpacked and relaxing for a few minutes until we needed to pick up Mr. Awesome.

Well, as luck would have it our GPS was not cooperating and after making 3 U-turns I decided to head back to where Mr. Awesome was. I also stopped and grabbed a few snacks for the kiddos.

Mr. Awesome was surprised that we had waited in the parking lot and he thought it was kind of funny when I told him about the GPS malfunction… I really wasn’t in the mood to laugh.

I gave him the van keys and he took us to the hotel. When we made it to the room the hotel key card was not working which made me glad that we hadn’t made it to the hotel earlier. I would have been so upset if I had gotten there and couldn’t get into the room.

We got unpacked and got everyone ready for the dance that evening. Then we all went to Denny’s for dinner. I found myself getting grumpier and grumpier because I really didn’t feel well and I had already taken a few more ibuprofen to try to ease the pain. When I realized just how grumpy I was being I felt even worse and I apologized to Mr. Awesome.

After eating we headed to the dance and had a great time. Everyone there was excited to see the kids and the smiles on their faces made me feel better than I had all day long. Then Mr. Awesome took me to meet the caller, Tom Miller, and he actually recognized me as we are Facebook friends… lol. That was actually pretty neat!

We got our picture taken with him and he took up with William. He then asked to take some pictures with the kids and they were ALL being so SILLY! It was a great night and probably one of the best dances I’ve ever been to!

We ended the night with a trip to Denny’s for ice cream but unfortunately, they were out of vanilla ice cream. I had my heart set on some apple crisp but I didn’t think it would be quite the same with chocolate or strawberry ice cream so I settled with some cheesecake.

We headed back to the hotel and the kids were so ready for bed! I was ready too but I was so uncomfortable that I couldn’t sleep well and when my alarm went off at 6:30 I was so glad to be able to take a nice hot shower… I really wish I had thought to take a soak in the tub the night before though.

Mr. Awesome had one more meeting that we all attended and then we headed back home. My arm was throbbing so badly on the trip home… I had cut myself back to one ibuprofen at a time because I know how my stomach is and I knew that it would start hurting if I continued to take them two at a time on a consistent basis. We got home and caught up with Papa O and Nanny J before unloading the van.

I was excited to get the mail from Saturday as the optic scarf I had ordered came in. I thought this would be perfect for Mr. Awesome to keep on his bag to use for cleaning his square dance equipment. He seems to love it so far.

Norwex has a variety of scarves in different colors and patterns. I think I may know a few people who may get them for Christmas this year. They are great to have on hand for cleaning your glasses and tech devices while on the go. 

Once the kids helped unload I gave them each a couple of assignments so that everything could get put back where it needed to be. The kids headed out to play and I sat down to rest. I wrapped my arm with the ACE bandage which felt so much better than the brace had and I dozed in the recliner for a bit.

Later that evening I made a quick dinner of baked chicken and baked potatoes. I really wasn’t feeling well and my stomach had started to hurt again. Needless to say, I didn’t get much sleep last night because I was in so much pain with my stomach. I can say that it has finally eased off but I have not been able to take any more Ibuprofen today so my arm is still a bit sore but better than it was before.

Last night was so rough though… I really had to remind myself to just relax and breathe. As I sat on the bed this morning I noticed a big fish crane out on the dock. I watched him for a good while and that helped me to relax quite a bit and made me more determined to have a good day today…

I also tried my best to reflect back on this weekend and to think about how much I have been blessed. I am truly so BLESSED in so many ways. I was reminded of this a couple of different times when strangers came up to compliment our family and to tell me just how much Mr. Awesome adores me… yes, I am so BLESSED.

Even though the pain was bad at times I told myself that it wasn’t gonna be any better if I just laid in bed. I’ve dealt with chronic pain for so long that I know that half of the battle is just showing up. I gave myself several pep talks and got out of bed and began to get ready for the day. There have been many times throughout the day that I’ve really just wanted to give in and go back to bed but I haven’t and I am feeling much better than I did this morning.

Today is a day that I am so glad for routines (and freezer meals) as I really relied on them to help me get through the day and get everything finished that needed to be completed. Right now the kids are laying down for some quiet time while I finish up this post. They are super excited to go to the dance tonight as they are in class right now. A lot of the dancers from this weekend were so excited to learn that the kids will be dancing soon and they invited us back again.

The laundry has been washed and is hanging on the porch… it is pretty humid today so it isn’t drying very fast at all. The dog has had a bath and the house has been fairly straightened up. I also have some Crockpot Italian Chicken on for dinner, this was one of the freezer meals we made earlier this month, and I will put on a pot of rice later and some green beans. We also pulled a pack of frozen rolls out of the freezer.

I think I may go ahead and try to get a little nap in before quiet time is over as I really am quite EXHAUSTED.

I hope you all have a blessed week and please stay tuned for some important updates later this week.

Monday Message: Seeing Your Blessings Through The Tears I had planned to just 'chill out' this weekend and maybe work on our next little house on the prairie adventure but lately, things rarely go as planned around here.