#my family and school and the world in general??? i feel like im a better person both towards other people and to myself and i can stand up

[bethebesttoyou]

Shiver - Choi Yeonjun

synopsis: Yeonjun and Y/N just can't let each other go.

pairing: College student! Yeonjun x college student! Reader

song: Shiver by Lucy Rose (I was way too young to be listening to just sad songs in middle school)

warnings: suggestive writing again,,,(does it seem like im slowly getting close to writing smut? IDK),,, lovers to exes to ??? to exes,,, ANGST NO HAPPY ENDING (it breaks my heart might have to do a part 2 FNKDS) not much dialogue again, just inner workings of reader who can't let yeonjun go, kinda like right person, wrong time... kinda cheesy ending cause we have fun here... OH NOT EDITED EITHER AHAHA

Wc: 1.8k (I wanted it to be longer T_T, maybe part two coming soon???)

A/N: Ive been writing in means of distracting myself from the reality that is our world rn, and its been really helpful...Ive also been feeling all down about my writing in general but I don't want to give up!!! I want to keep getting better!!! So ima keep just writing... hopefully down the line I get to see the growth ANYWAYS....

���What’s wrong?” Yeonjun breathes out, his hot breath hitting your face, glazed eyes of lust watching you intensely. 

He had just shown up, like he usually did, and his hands began to slowly make their way under your shirt before you stopped them breaking the hypnotic spell of his kiss. 

It was easy to forget with him pressing into you like this. To forget about the break up, the fact that it no longer was meant to mean anything other than another night together. To you, the kisses were still laced with love, with passion that were left over from the years spent together. You already knew that he was mirroring your love and emotions with his hands caressing your hips, the way he knew his way around your body, kissing where it mattered, touching where it mattered. 

It was hard to move on. Hard to give up on every feeling he evoked in you, well because… this was Yeonjun. The very same Yeonjun that asked you out in 9th grade, with a cheesy note and nervous smile, the same one that took you to all the school dances and school trips. The Yeonjun that can make you laugh, cry, and desire all with his own vocabulary. He was the same guy you grew up with, he felt familiar, he felt like home. He was the one and only Yeonjun that could ever make you feel this wanted, this needed, this loved. 

The one and only Yeonjun, the one you no longer had.

Not anymore. Not really. 

Things had gotten complicated towards the end of the relationship. Young couples often face these common complexities of individual growth, individual paths, college and the opinions of friends and families. And while you thought your relationship with Yeonjun was strong enough to sustain these challenges, believing that the years spent together only added to the strong will of your love,  nothing could’ve prepared you for the sudden distance, the change in goals, the shift in thinking, the shift in priorities. It was obvious what the issues had been. But you had pushed them down, buried deep enough to be convinced that time would fix it. So while you were good at pretending that everything had been normal and fine, it was Yeonjun that had visibly carried this boulder in his chest, the boulder heavy to the point that he had to sit you down and bring up the undeniable truth. You were drifting apart, bad. Arguments no longer lasted an hour, but days, schedules were no longer syncing, dates were being forgotten or willingly canceled, communication and keeping up with each other became rare and the voiced opinions of friends were starting to question the ethics in high school sweethearts.  

With ache filled hearts, you both knew it was the end. The love never faltered, but time did and your lives were no longer in the same rhythm, your heart, while still beating for one another, no longer to the same young love beat. So with mutual understanding and a night full of sobs and goodbye kisses, you deemed your seven year relationship to be over. Or at least that's what was supposed to happen. 

The entire idea was to give each other the space needed to grow and find yourselves, to explore the world of independence, the world of your 20’s, and the brain understood that concept, it made sense. You were both young and hadn't really figured out life, but your hearts, filled with years of history and love, branded with memories of your past, were not getting the hang of it, not just yet. Even with the ending of your relationship being meant to create a fresh start for the both of you, nothing stopped either of you from texting each other, meeting for ‘friendly’ coffees, meeting up at night, when your roommates were asleep, sneaking him in. That's what got you here now. 

Nine months after the break up, he's in your hallway, pushing you against the wall in the middle of the night. And you weren't going to lie, you were obsessed with the feeling. Yet, you knew deep down, this was only hurting you both more.There was never any talk about getting back together, in fact there was never any talking about this aspect of your friendship?relationship? Whatever it was. When you were around your mutual high school friends, it was as though these nights never happened, it was as if you both were silently agreeing that this was merely sex. Merely a way of getting your needs taken care of. 

But it felt like an excuse. In your head, you convinced yourself that this was okay, because who else knew you like this, knew your body and what you needed, before and after? And you knew he felt the same, when his soft moans and grunts escaped his mouth, when he would beg to hear your own soft moans and whines again and again. 

The discussion and acknowledgement of what this was,would have only made things more real. More complicated, and like true Yeonjun and Y/N fashion, you ignored all of that. You would ignore his love filled eyes, the constant electrical current his touch possessed, the way his touch would have you shivering in anticipation, you would ignore the slips of ‘I love you’s from his mouth when he was on top of you. And he seemed to ignore all of your soft ‘baby’s’ and pleads, ignoring your single tears and would silently cradle you after, seeming to understand, yet never actually bringing it up. 

Because, neither of you had not been ready, and maybe you still weren't, but things had been changing, life still existed outside of him, and you weren't sure you could keep this up anymore. 

It was only recently that your friends suggested dating again. The thought itself made your stomach twist in guilt and fear. Your friends had known about this toxic stance you were in with Yeonjun, this idea that you were still each other’s, even if you weren't. And unlike you, they were worried about this deeply rooted attachment, considering it more obsessive, more out of comfortability than actual love. So even with your desperate rejections, they set you up. And when you suggested the idea of not showing up, they looked at you with concern filled eyes: 

“Y/N, you have the chance to grow into the best version of yourself…don't let him keep you stuck here.” 

 It was in that moment then, looking up at him, when he had brought a hand up to gently caress the softness of your cheek, that you understood.

 You knew they were right. And yet, a terribly hard pill to swallow. This didn't just apply to you, but to him too. You both had so many plans, goals, dreams. You both were only getting in the way of that, both keeping each other connected by the willfulness of your hearts. This love was too big for the both of you, and it was sucking the life, the happiness out of you.You loved him, you always did, always will. So much so, that you knew he deserved the same chance at an experience of life, without this weighing on him, without you pulling him back, just like you did.

“I can't do this anymore.” You whispered back finally, a tear hitting his thumb, and you weren't shocked when he sighed, before nodding, like he had known. That was another thing about Yeonjun you had loved,he always just knew. 

You embarked in this minute of silence, both of you letting it settle, the room was dimly lit, but you were still able to make out his disheveled hair, his freshly kissed lips, and the tears that flooded the lining of his eyes. Neither of you hid them, neither felt the need too. Your heart fights this feeling of relief, and Yeonjun looks up at you and smiles softly before motioning to the front door. 

“Do you remember orientation night?” He asked, once he was out the door. The fresh wind sweeps up a pair of leaves from the floor, and you both watch as the leaves dance around each other, before flying off. You smile. 

“I do.” 

Orientation night was hell. The world had been against you, you had been picked on by the orientation leaders, your dorm mates didn't seem like they were going to be good dorm mates at all, and to make it worse, you were in a new city, an hour away from Yeonjun’s college. You had decided to suffer in silence that night until he called, and just with the sound of his voice, you couldn't help but blubber out everything that went wrong. He listened and cooed, trying to relax your sobs, you heard the sound of an ignition turning on in the back. As you suspected, he made it to the front of your dorms in the next hour, already extending his arm for an embrace. At this time, the distance was still new and unfamiliar to both of you, no longer living in the same city, no longer having the same group of friends. You're no longer crying as dramatically as before, yet he still held you tightly in his chest, the smell of his cologne calming you greatly. 

“Ima just give up and go home. Maybe I'm not made for college life.” You sigh. 

“Hey, you are definitely not going back home. Youre gonna go back in there and tell your dorm mates to be nice or fuck off, and then youre gonna go tomorrow and say the same thing to those asshole leaders.” he rubs your back. 

“No…” you sigh again, “I'm not gonna do that. I want to actually make friends, and I want my dorm mates to actually like me.” 

“I'm your friend.”

“You also live an hour away.” 

“So? Nothing can keep me away from you.” He smiles down at you, kissing your forehead. 

“I wish I only had to deal with you and your antics…I miss you.” 

I miss you too��� Do you want me to talk to those leaders?” 

“No but thanks.” 

“Y/N…” you had been closing your eyes until he called, “I will always have your back. Always. You always have a friend, never hesitate to call him. He loves you, forever.” he finally attaches his lips to yours, quickly pecking your lips before pecking the rest of your face. 

“I meant every word.” he says softly, grabbing your hands, “I'm always your friend and I love you, forever.” 

“I love you too, forever.” And when he reaches to rub the tear off your cheek again, you chuckle to suppress the sniffle. 

If your heart had not been enclosed in your chest, it would have been dragged by the last few strings attached to his, instead all you felt was the frantic pull, the desperate call for him to come back, and he must feel it too cause he turns back to you, already at the edge of the driveway. 

“If I ever get you back in my arms, I will never let you go again.” 

“Is that a threat?” You laughed already walking back to the door. He smiles upon seeing your smile, one last time. 

“A promise.” 

A/N: YAYAYAYAAY you made it to the end!!! Thank you so much for reading!!! I wanted to make this super angsty and I hope I tugged at the heart even just a pluck :3 Anyways, as always please let me know how you liked it, my asks are open for any requests as well!! Also let me know if you think I should do a small update (read: part 2) on yeonjun and y/n, maybe seeing each other again /.\ Thank you again!! :3

[sodachalice]

id really like 2 hear more on your thoughts on kin stuff

hmmmhmhm. i wouldnt even know where to start really. i think that almost all kinning is a form of dissociation (not in a disordered way but in the way "Spacing out" is also dissociation, it is a coping mechanism you can choose to engage with that can get out of hand if relied on too heavily) and i think that the reason kinning was so popular in early 2010s tumblr specifically in the way it was is because there was a rise in the type of abusive households that would encourage dissociation (strict rules, neglective parenting, rejection of trauma, trauma from the internet, unrestricted internet access, recession, rise in fascism, lack of third spaces, increased trauma in schools due to gun violence, the popularity of internet grooming and the lack of awareness around that topic, encouraged dissociation due to split internet/in person lives) and i also think that because of these things this has also increased the amount of people who have OSDD/DID/some form of plurality or at least increased the awareness of these disorders enough for people who are experiencing this dissociation to be able to be properly diagnosed. i think that the line between kinning when it is serious and spiritual and these disorders are very blurry and grey.

i think that kinning can tell you a lot about yourself and how you feel about yourself and your position in the world not specifically due to the character in the canon itself but your interpretation of the character and how you specifically feel about them and feel like they symbolize, but i also think that characters are written with specific people and tropes in mind and that many times paying attention to these tropes and threads between characters you kin is more important than the characters themselves. i also think that people could find a lot of freedom and fun in using fictional characters like fursonas and using them to communicate ideas that go beyond canon and are personally symbolic to them especially now in sort of a post-kin internet where a lot of people in my age kinned in their childhood but not as an adult, and i think that could be a good creative outlet for people especially if they spent a lot of time writing fanfiction or making fanart as a child.

i feel like psychological and emotional (and spiritual, but also to be clear, im very much not a spiritual thinker. it doesnt come to me naturally. i usually talk purely psychologically/politically, but im also someone who does have personal beliefs i like to keep to myself) ties disabled and autistic people develop towards fictional characters is something that is insanely important in general just as like a literal societal keystone, i think people forget how media used to be ran and how it was almost always spearhead by autistic people who were obsessed with a specific idea. most mainstream modern "iconic" series come from a source like that. i also think that people don't understand how delusions and hallucinations tend to work, and don't understand how religious delusions and fictional delusions such as kinning can be the same, but they both offer magical/fantastical escapes from reality that allow you to live a split life in a different place that is better or more symbolic or has more closure and clear concise beats to it than reality. abstractly, they fill the same role for a lot of people.

uhhh. i think thats just a lot of listing my beliefs and not really explaning them but i kinda just wanted to play my cards and show off what i think about irg to kinning. i would say its a special interest. like i said growing up my parents were convinced i was an earth angel, and there are a lot of reasons in their past that traumatized them into thinking that way. one thing i always found fascinating was my athiest dad was extremely into fandom, hes a furry himself and very strongly identifies with a small group of characters he obsessively collects. my family all agree that hes autistic, even if he isnt diagnosed. he treated his favorite characters (Spiderman, ash from evil dead, luke from starwars) exactly the same way as my mom treated any of her intense obsessions with imaginary figures (jesus/angels, ghosts, spirits, the government) as a very spiritually psychotic person, and growing up and out of my intense "spiritual" kinning phase when i was living in that household, i realized i was treating it the same exact way as my mom was treating her religious delusions. except the thing is i did it with homestuck characters so i was labeled histrionic and attention seeking instead of like you know. struggling with delusional thinking, which i very much was and is something i struggle with still now. not in a "im on alternia" kind of way but in a "im a fictional character and nothing i do has consequences so i regularly neglect myself" kind of way. i was homeschooled and msot people ive known havent been very kind to me, this has changed but my habits havent. and my i think people sort of overlook my habits bcause instead of looking like something insanely drastic its just sort of like. i kind of just disappear, and its because im thinking Of The Character. and its like a huge problem. and i kind of think its a big problem for a lot of people, but kinning is one of the pieces that goes overlooked in discussions about it because people are embarrassed. well im not. i like my guys and i like my connection with them. so

[upinthecloudss]

NVM ignore my newgen suggestion, I just read your hsl hc and I'm in Nostalgia Mode TM. I'd love to read your more detailed insight about the friendships between Kim and Violette, Castiel and Iris, Nath and Lys (I feel like even if not bffs, they would have got along well??), and any other "pairing" that comes to your mind!

hehe you inspired me with the other suggestion so i'm writing both if that's ok :> i'm always on mcl nostalgia mode - so i'll prolly finish this one before the new gen one

also thank you for letting me yap about mcl even more bcus there is sm to say

MCL HSL RELATIONSHIPS

my personal ramblings + ideas

Kim and Violette

i never really knew if they were intended to have a something more than friends vibe going on but i choose to believe that maybe they did have feelings for each other but never realised it

have a super supportive relationship nevertheless - romantic or not

and one of the most wholesome in the class, i loved seeing it whenever it came up in-game

kim helps violette go out of her comfort zone and to speak up for herself, that's the most obvious one to us as players

but i feel that violette helped kim put down her 'walls'

kim is a pretty guarded person, we as the main character don't get to learn much about her personal life throughout the whole series even if she does consider us to be friends - we see that kim tries to regain contact when candy is back in town in UL

but idk she seems pretty uncomfortable with letting people into her life, and being vulnerable in general

i feel that violette is one of the only people outside of her family that she confides in

violette is very authentic to herself and doesn't judge, and that made kim feel more comfortable with opening up to her

besides they have history

very long friendship - they give me childhood friends vibes

i just realised this but kim definitely helped her through violette's grief of losing her mother years before mcl canon

even if kim felt lost in helping someone through their grief, she tried to always be there for violette, even if it meant sitting in silence under the tree in the school's courtyard while violette sketched and destroyed many drawings of her mother over and over and then wordlessly stood up to go home after a few hours

violette will forever be greatful for her friendship during that time

and at any time tbh

violette feels a bit lost without kim (e.g when she wanted to cancel on iris´party when kim had to cancel) but she got better at going out to the world by herself because she knew that kim wouldn't be forever with her

even though kim plans on being her friend as long as she can

they defo hang out by themselves outside of school a whole lot

by themselves, because of violette being less comfortable in larger groups and kim enjoying violette's company more than anyone elses

besties for life i don't make the rules

seem so different but they complement each other perfectly

also kim would murder for violette and the latter knows this

mcl new gen confirm that they're still friends (and maybe gfs) in ep 11 AND MY LIFE IS YOURS

maybe were each other's first kiss who knows

but that's just a theory

a game theory

i shipped them back in 2016 and still do im sorry

Castiel and Iris

they also give me childhood friends vibes but it is revealed that iris came into Sweet Amoris a few years before candy so maybe its a high school friends thing

we see that they're close regardless - even if in ep 9 they didn't go to the beach together i imagine that they started doing it a little after that to hang out

they were also a pretty unexpected friendship to any outsiders, but they make sense in a way

theyre literally sunshine x sunshine protector

iris is a pretty empathetic person, and i feel that she wouldn't be too taken aback by castiel's initial bad temper and cold attitude to strangers, but try to understand how to make him feel comfortable around her

she is such a sweetheart how can you hate her

castiel appreciates her because of that, she never pressured him to be the socially acceptable 'friendly' and just let him open up to her by his own terms

over time they grow to have an understanding with each other

hang out every now and then, aren't super besties but they enjoy making plans together

iris loves demon, and since she lives in a neighbourhood near the park she usually makes plans to go on walks with him and castiel

castiel babysat thomas a whole lot - even during his time with deborah

when they were leaving out the door thomas stopped castiel by pulling on his sleeve - he was 7 at most by that time

"castiel, don't bring that nasty lady again, please."

thomas knew something was up with her (what an empath)

he still babysits him but iris feels bad asking him to do it too often

castiel doesn't mind, he enjoys thomas' company, and helping iris out

even if he finds him perplexing

iris asks castiel to teach her some basics of guitar so she can bond with thomas

castiel thinks it's a very strange way to bond with someone but he does it anyway because she's his friend and she asked him nicely

on that topic castiel is unable to say no to iris this is canon

they have,,, an extensive history for sure

there was a time when they were starting to become closer to each other where they hung out a whole lot (after dark to an abandoned skate park kind of plans)

skater girl iris btw

anyway

i don't see them being romantically involved but they def kissed at some point when they were around each other a lot and came to the conclusion that they don't go well together in that way

castiel would pretend to be her boyfriend to get creepy guys off of her back if she asked to though

i feel that castiel drops this piece of information in the middle of some convo with lys years later as if it were some random fun fact with no substantial importance

because to them it isn't really

and lys doesn't react as vigorously as anyone else would've in his situation (candy and armin, for example, basically backflip when castiel mentions it during a round of truth or dare at iris´ house)

obviously he is shocked at first, but after thinking about it he realises that it makes sense that it happened

honestly anyone that knew them the years before candy came into school would get it

it was obvious that they were close-ish, relatively

given that castiel was civilised with her and lys more than anyone else, yea, she's a close friend

amber used to be very nasty towards her out of jealousy, calmed down over the years

iris was also quite supportive during his first breakup with deborah

while lys was a comforting presence whenever he needed some to be quiet near someone, iris offered comforting words when he felt that his world was falling apart

was kinda cold with nath for a while because of the situation, but nath doesn't resent her for it

castiel really appreciates her for that too

they don't hang out nearly as much anymore but they can still get on each other's wavelengths pretty easily

they have a pretty solid friendship, based on mutual understanding

and surprisingly, shared interests

iris is a scene kid in my mind, but she enjoys music similar to castiel's tastes

they had an MCR phase together (never really left)

also this is just a silly headcanon of mine but i like to think that they went emo together for a while

maybe lasted a few months but everyone remembers it very clearly as much as castiel wishes they didn't

iris finds it funny and reminds castiel a whole lot

she's the only one who can remind castiel of it without getting murdered (not even lys, the topic is off limits)

nath always wanted to make fun of castiel for it but that would mean making fun of iris too and that he couldn't do

also i love the fact that iris IN CANON said that if she were to choose anyone to help her hide a body it would be castiel

castiel acts shocked but honestly i think it's sweet to see that he allows her to say those things without him getting mad at her

because i feel that if someone else he doesn't get along with said it, he'd take it the wrong way

"so you think i'm a criminal or something"

he's such a little drama queen - it was impossible to raise his lovometer without guides most of the time istg,,,,

my condolences to castielettes or however tf u call yourselves lmao

they're just their authentic selves around each other, and feel comfortable doing so

i imagine that candy in castiel's route has some insecurities regarding this friendship, but they make it clear that they're nothing more than close friends

besides iris is more than happy to see castiel with a girl who will actually treat him right

she was deeply dissapointed with deborah's actions in ep 16

not just because she was a fake friend, but because of how she planned to use castiel

tried her best to make castiel come back to class during the time that he became kinda depressed after ep 16

worried about him like a mother lmao, got mad when he went awol

veredict? sister and brother from a different mother (and father)

used to hang out a lot, but not as much nowadays

life gets in the way

doesn't mean that they don't care for each other deeply

Nath and Lys

this friendship is such a big brain moment because yes - they prolly did get along well

another case of beemoov wasting potential urghhh

they at least have some respect for each other

nath appreciates when lys gets castiel off of his back - he realises when his best friend is going too far with him picking fights with nathaniel

lys appreciates nath's respect for other people's boundaries and trusts that nath wouldn't read his writing without his permission if he ever finds his lost notebook

curiosity is a very ugly defect after all

got so nostalgic saying that holy shit

lys also respects nath's position as head of student council, something that nath rarely sees from any student, and his respect for teachers is something that nath also appreciates

lys probably managed to get a copy of the basement's keys from nathaniel because

if it had been just castiel asking, nath would have absolutely NOT given a copy over to him

but since lys asked in an actual civilised way (unlike his bruteish excuse of a best friend - nath's words, not mine), nath asked for special permission for them to practice there after school

they appreciate and connect with each other more easily than with the other guys in the class because they have some essential personality traits in common

they can be in comfortable silences together

and maybe get book/novel/poetry recs from each other

nerds (lovingly)

not the closest, but they have a pleasant friendship (acquaintainceship?) - they're kind of between the line of being friends or just classmates who get along

they don't stay in touch after high school is what i mean, even if they don't necessarily hate each other

after nath gains his independence, and he allows himself to delve into music-related hobbies that his dad would have not approved of, he goes to lys for advice

lys is very patient in introducing him to music (even if he kind of already did for the concert some time prior)

even if nath turns out to be absolutely tone deaf, he appreciates lys' help

they do consider each other friends around the time where nath comes out of his shell (post ep 23 approximately)

however, they have a key thing that they will never agree on

castiel

nathaniel will never understand how lys can stand him - not to talk about being best friends

lys will never understand nath's inability to change his close minded attitude towards his friend, he knows that nath could choose to tell castiel about deborah's lies, but he does know of their history and how the damage that they caused after the incident cannot be solved as easily

so they both get that they will never be able to be on the same page with that topic

agree to disagree, in a way

apart from that, they get along just fine

they defo have potential - if it hadn't been for the rivalry with castiel, and nath's home life which made him focus on studies rather than friendships, i feel that they would've been able to develop a deeper bond

i do feel that nath kind of is jealous of lys in a way - deep down

they're both similar people, but come from completely different family environments

good students, model ones at that, calm introverts, lovers of literature, and similar ways of percieving the world

lys will never know what it is to be scared of his father, or the need to be perfect, or to have a sibling that he doesn't get along with

all that is nath is good at, he did it to appease his father

lys did it because he wanted to

and nath will never have that, and lys reminds him of that sometimes

so he avoids being around him too much maybe

i feel that they kind of reflect each other well

what would have been of fairly similar people in different home environments - even if ik damn well that beemoov prolly put any thought into that ever

but that's me reading WAY too much into it

okay that's too much realness for me for the night

[luvistqrzzz]

TRIVIA : LOVE — enhypen hyung line oneshot series

Finding love is not easy they say but what happens when you fall for someone at the most unexpected time in an unexpected way? — whisper a small oops and continue to fall further into the loophole of love.

aka the chronicles of a hopeless romantic soul

PAIRING && GENRE — hyung line x f!reader, can be read as stand alone oneshots, crack, ansgt, fluff, happy ending, more tba in individual fics

TAGLIST — open send an ask or comment to be added (you will be tagged for all the 4 fics) — @flwrshee @aosbie @rsmura @enhastolemyheart @yannew @sophiko22 @www-jungwon @nwjws @in-somnias-world @zzinyl @mrchweeee @ghostiiess @ilovecheese09

PERMANENT TAGLIST — @rikizm @str0l0gy @yenqa @heetoldme @crxzs @s00buwu @nhularin @bunreis @hysgf @mochamvgz @myonos — will be added in all parts

STATUS — to be released !!

AN — TYSM FLO @dollikis FOR THE MAIN BANNER ISTG SHE'S SUCH A GENIUS 🫶🏼🥹 I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF IT ILYSM FLO my banners for the rest of the fic look like shit 😻🤞🏼 i feel the general summary is so cringe ( if someone comes up w a better one then pls help 😭) ALSO the fics in the series are based on rom com books tbh ive been planning and editing the masterlist for the past two weeks ahaha so idk how to feel about it... technically im still on my writing hiatus but ill try to start working on the fics after exams,,, hope yall look forward to it hehe ^_^ !!

"It was like I was trying to memorize him — in case this was the last time I would ever see him." — (failed) STEPS TO NOT MISS YOUR EX

There were a lot of ways your sister's wedding could have gone wrong but none of them included you crossing paths with your ex who happened to be the assistant wedding planner.  Alternatively, where you were apparently "over" Lee Heeseung but an (almost) disastrous wedding made you think otherwise.

a luvistqrzzz rendition of save the date by morgan matson — [ read here ]

“Here's the thing about writing Happily Ever Afters: it helps if you believe in them.” — LETTERS TO YOU, ME AND THE BEACH

When a crippling writer’s block and an almost broke bank account forces you to move to an old family home, you didn’t expect to cross paths with your arch nemesis from high school, the ever obnoxious, Park Jay. But maybe the series of events that unfold during the summer could help you with a romantic book or two.

a luvistqrzzz rendition of beach read by emily henry — [ read here ]

“Note to self: Do not under any circumstances fall in love again.” — A 1000 WAYS BACK TO YOU

When Jake realizes he doesn't want to be (only) friends with you anymore, you are already moving halfway around the world and he's left alone on the other side of the line. Will it take two oblivious idiots 10 years and more than a hundred missed chances to see the feelings they've been hiding for long?

a luvistqrzzz rendition of where rainbows end by cecelia ahern — [ read here ]

"Well sure, who doesn't need a boyfriend? But realistically, those exotic creatures are hard to come by. At least a quality one.” — A STRANGER'S GUIDE TO LOVE AND CHRISTMAS

For Sunghoon, Christmas is like any other day, only a hundred times more crowded. But then he stumbles across a notebook at the local bookstore. A notebook full of... dares. As he and the anonymous author spend the entire Christmas eve swapping stories and dreams around the city of Seoul, where will it lead Sunghoon to?

a luvistqrzzz rendition of dash and lily's book of dares by rachel cohn and david levithan — [ read here ]

works belongs to @luvistqrzzz do not copy repost or translate my work

reblogs and feedback are heavily appreciated

networks- @hyfenet @enhanet @en-web @k-films

[altschmerzes]

Hello I am very very exciting for your Pitt fic!! I love your writing and I’m starving for some good trinity santos fic. Can you give a preview perhaps…. 👀

YESSS IM GLAD YOURE EXCITED i am ALSO excited and i'm thrilled to bring you the same brand (gav fic) in an exciting new box (the pitt)

preview here!! most of it under the cut. this is the opening for my first fic for the pitt, a santos-centric fic called touch the world in which i ruminate on the continuing ramifications of abuse (so cw for that being referenced below), force my girl here into a situation of vulnerability and Experiencing Care, and crib a two-part episode of grey's anatomy for my dastardly h/c fic purposes :)

Some days start off already fucked before they’ve barely had time to be anything at all, which is one of the more unfair things that can happen in the ordinary course of a life. Days shouldn’t have the ability to be ruined before a person’s even had their morning coffee.

It probably (definitely, absolutely) starts because of the phone call from her mother. Trinity avoids those as often as she possibly can most of the time, but eventually it goes on a little too long and it becomes unavoidable and she has to answer. If she wants to keep the peace, and she does, because the alternative is even worse, then she has to pick up every now and then and make enough stupid small-talk that her mom doesn’t feel like her only child has completely abandoned the family, despite the fact that Trinity absolutely did do that, as soon as she was old enough to do it.

The call itself is… fine. It isn’t much of anything at all, actually, just her mother’s updates on the family and a couple of questions about Trinity’s job, which she answers in short and bland sentences with an artificially cheerful voice and generally pretends that she isn’t really here and it isn’t really happening. Sometimes, she can slip deep enough into pretending that she can almost believe that she doesn’t know the person on the other end of the phone any better than she knows the people across the hall in her apartment building.

This, she can tell herself, is just some random lady that Trinity is talking to, someone who isn’t even all that interested in her life or asking questions about it and is just inquiring because it would be rude to spend fifteen minutes talking only about yourself. It’s like getting stuck in line at Starbucks with an older lady who’s just a little too chatty because she’s lonely and her husband is probably a shit conversationalist who never asks her about her life. They don’t know each other and as soon as Trinity can white-knuckle her way through this phone call she can move on with her life and go back to pretending she came into the world fully formed in her first year of medical school, which is the first year she actually felt like a real person anyway.

(This woman isn’t someone she knows, she can believe, sometimes, listening to the meaningless chatter. Trinity has never felt the sharp twist of this woman’s fingers in her hair, has never heard this voice grow hard with anger and disgust as she tried to confess something terrible, something she barely had the words for, something— Whatever. They don’t know each other, is the lie she tells herself while she stares at the latch of her living room window and listens to speech patterns so familiar that she hears them in her sleep. It’s almost true.)

[paiizeldy]

hello hello! its time for me to introduce who my ocs are!! i have 12 ocs but ill be introducing the main ones and my favorites first!

meet the Mixed Berries Trio!

They're from my first universe called Shattered Views tho thats. Sorta an unofficial name.... its just a placeholder for now... basically i wanted this universe to focus more on the motif of healing from the past

lets get to know them one by one!

Medea Viridine — she/her

20 years old, Majoring in Sports Science

Medea is a loud and easygoing person who loves to live in the moment. However, when it's necessary, she often comes across as a direct and assertive individual who is not afraid to express her opinions bluntly. She believes in trust and honesty more than anything else thats why she goes with her instincts and follows her own principles rather than listening to other people's advice.

Ace Alistair — he/him

21 years old, Majoring Performing Arts

Ace aspires to impress everyone with his acting abilities and become a star actor that travels internationally. He is recognized for his lively and caring persona that he carries when interacting with others. Behind this facade, however, lies an arrogant demeanor and self-centered attitude which he often gets carried away with. He struggles to understand and acknowledge others' feelings as he prioritizes himself more.

Alan Thanawat — he/him

21 years old, Majoring Engineering

Alan has a calm and composed nature and sees the world in a practical mindset. His cooperative and organized demeanor makes him dependable, and many people rely on him because of this. Despite his generous and helpful nature, Alan frequently finds himself being taken advantage of by others, leading to him consistently being in demand and always working for others' needs.

I haven't really thought much about their character information actually... So please forgive me if the descriptions r pretty weird or bad.... i might end up fixing their descriptions in the future but all I've been really coming with are their relationships with one another and their history!

If you're curious about how they met and their relationships heres a quick summary!!

Medea & Ace - Classmates during Junior High School — they love to bicker and annoy one another... its almost like its a never ending competition between the two to see who's the better one. they still care about one another just in their own weird way

Medea & Alan - Living together in a Dorm — These two treat each other as siblings. Medea always wanted a brother who looks after her while Alan always wanted to have a sister who would tell him about literally everything and anything in the world- it feels as if they're found family.

Ace & Alan - Close friends ever since Middle School — Due to their long history in Middle School, it was pretty hard for them to be friends again now that they're in same college. At first, the two swore to never cross paths or even breathe the same air. The more they interacted, the more they learned that neither of them change one bit— It made them miss each other and what they used to have.

THATS ALL!!! IVE YAPPED ENOUGH ABOUT THEM!!!!!!! If you want to know more about them please please PLEAASSEE ask me questions!!! id loveeee to answer abt these three theyre my favorite and i love drawing them- heck if you even want a request doodle about them then FEEEEL FREE TO ASSKKKKK!!!!!

sorry being able to talk abt my ocs make me so giddy im definitely gonna enjoy posting more stuff about them here!!!! until next time!!! i hope you enjoy these three the much as i do!!!

[sm-baby]

Able strikes me as… the kind of person that does things right naturally. Like for the carnival AU, I bet in real life he was just good at everything without even trying. Everyone likes him, he’s just great in his own, I bet him and Caine even look similar, like the kind where the real only difference is maybe height, and style.

Caine is the younger brother that is jealous, he is extremely jealous even if he doesn’t want to be. He wants to be content with himself, but it is so damn hard with a sibling that even unintentionally looms over you. Getting mistaken for them at places, and when people meet you it’s always “Oh you’re Able’s brother” or “oh I hope you’ll be like him” and it’s a little flattering but mostly discouraging mentally. He wants to be like Able, but he knows he can’t.

Like a couple years back when my sister graduated a year early in high school, literally a cyber expert by the time she got out, and already years in on collage work, meanwhile I was your average struggling student, so even though she’s my favorite older sibling, we look similar, sound similar, hell, some people have mistaken me for her but with shorter hair. I know that having someone loom over you like that, someone everyone likes, everyone loves, and is just better in every way, it makes you go to the darkest places at times.

And that’s just me— from what you’ve said of Caine’s family, they just seem toxic. Caine if five times better than me and even my older sister who’s amazing, he knows so many languages and is so awesome in general, yet his parents have the nerve to do his. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a fucked up yin-yang sibling story, so I can really sort of relate to what u assume Caine is going through. It’s hard when you have similar interests, looks, and so much more with someone, yet everyone just loves them, and not you, and you have no clue why. And you want to be proud, you are proud, you’re happy, but some part of you deep inside just wishes you didn’t exist, or that the person you’re always compared to didn’t exist, so then no one would be able to compare you. Sometimes it’s obvious, people saying the differences, other times it’s fully a mental thing, I never was compared to my older sister by parents, but it’s a like a part of me knew that I was insignificant.

If it’s anything like the personal relationship I have with this person in my life, Caine and Able are close, but there are moments where it just bubbles through, the destain and/or harsh thoughts finally get to the surface of the water. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was an argument because Caine snapped at Able and started talking about how damn great Able is to everyone. My older sibling seems a bit like Able, and she never was forced into being perfect, it’s just natural for them. It’s a rocky relationship, when you know you love that person, that sibling means the world to you, but there’s that envy in part of you. I would sort of like it if this is expanded on more, maybe just a bit because I find it somewhat personal, you don’t have to, but I think it would be interesting if this was specifically shown somewhere. Siblings relationships are tough, but I personally know that… this particular style, the kind of sibling relationship I have with that one older sibling and the relationship Caine and Able have, is extremely hard. Because it never goes away, that spite and the small bit of hatred, but you just have to live with it, you blame yourself for your shortcomings, it never leaves, but you still stay close. They’re still your favorite person, still someone that you feel like you can share everything with, and you learn that you can’t get over those bad feeling, they just exist.

…I really need to stop writing when I’m half asleep. Might continue on how Carnival Pomni is similar to me, next time I’m half asleep and typing/j

*pat pat* it will definitely be touched upon... Im too proud of Caine's writing to leave him in the dark... Im so happy you relate to him that way, and Im sorry to hear how rocky your relationship is with your sister. Best of luck to both of you <3

[deservedgrace]

i haven't believed in god for the past almost 3 years now and i haven't told anyone and im scared to because everyone around me is christian because i go to private christian school and my entire family is christian and it feels like that right now my options are to lie to everyone i love for the rest of my life or be alienated from everyone i love and i don't know what to do i would like some advice if you have any for me

hi there. first of all, i want to say i feel for you because this is a really difficult situation to be in. having to hide parts of yourself from the people you love can be so exhausting and i'm sorry you have to deal with it.

without knowing your specific situation, i'm hesitant to give too much specific advice. i don't know what would or wouldn't be safe for you, i don't know what the people you're around are like, and i don't know what's feasible in your circumstance.

what i will say for sure though, no matter what, there's a world outside of christianity, there are people outside of christianity, there's kindness, and joy, and understanding, and peace, and life, and love outside of christianity. the prospect of being alienated from everyone you love is terrifying and heartbreaking, i won't deny that at all. but i do think it's important to remember that even if that happens, you're not alone. there are people who have made it out on the other side. there are good things to expect, there are people who understand, and there is joy to be had, even if it's outside your current community.

and honestly, the thing that made it so much easier for me to leave and risk alienating myself was having friends and relationships outside of christianity. having people that both were living proof that life outside of christainity isn't bleak and horrible like i was told and that i knew wouldn't leave me even if i stepped away from the faith. i also went to private school and was very insulated and didn't have the ability to be in community with nonbelievers until i graduated high school. but i did, eventually, find people. i lost a lot when i left but i also had people to offer support, advice, comfort, and just generally a safe place to land and i'm endlessly grateful to them. so, if possible, i recommend finding community outside of your christian circle. i know it may not be possible at this moment, but when it is possible, there are people out there who will be more than happy to support you.

i will also say, there's a good chance you're not alone in what you're feeling even within your circles. when i left, i thought i was alone in what i was feeling because i was the first to leave among my friends. but i've noticed that over the years, they are leaving too. they are talking about the harm that was done to us. part of christian culture is performing, and a lot of people are good at performing without holding the underlying beliefs. it's common enough that there's even an acronym for it: PIMO (physically in, mentally out; i usually see it in exmo/ex jw spaces). so sometimes it's possible you could find support within your circles too. i want to emphasize that you know your situation best, you know the risks and people you're around better than i do, please keep in mind your safety if you do consider searching for people like this in your circle. but i'm mentioning this mostly because you may feel alone in your situation, but you're not, and there's a good chance you're not alone even within your circle. even if it may feel like it, even if you're not able to confirm it.

and the last thing i'll say is, it's draining and demoralizing to have to be in this situation, so taking care of yourself and being kind to yourself is really important. again, i don't know what's available to you, but that can look like setting boundaries, giving yourself time to process emotions, saying affirmations to counteract the messages you're having to listen to, making art, journaling, spending time in your favorite places, watching your favorite shows, eating healthy food, engaging in ex christian content, etc etc. you're likely in an environment where you're taught not to trust yourself. engaging in actions to take care of yourself can help build up that trust, help you feel safer in your body, and help you feel more capable in getting through this.

i'm sorry i don't have more specific advice i can give you. i don't want to steer you toward advice that could make your situation unsafe or be unhelpful. you know your situation best, please focus on your safety. remember, you're allowed to prioritize your happiness, there is life outside of christianity, and this isn't forever. best of luck to you 💛

[who-is-this-weirdo]

im looking at ur pinned rn and nodding frantically like YES THANK U SO MUCH i remember early last year i got harassed by some random palestinian dude with an alastor pfp bc i said my dad (whom i havent interact with in nearly 3 years) is jewish (keep in mind he doesnt have jewish ancestors... him and his kids r jewish except me) bro straight up dm'ed an 13 yr old (at the time) running an account that posted pictures of a genshin ship (yes, it was one of those daily accounts) just to ask what my opinions were and what my ancestry was. when i mentioned my dad being a jew he was started insulting my entire bloodline, calling me a genocidal maniac, and saying my opinions will change with time (even tho i had stated multiple times my disgust with israel's actions..). like i had never ever said anything related to the topic in that account and bro just started going off palestine is suffering and theres so much division in this world! my 7-year-old cousin comes from a jewish family on his father's side and felt the need to ask permission to be friends with a pair of palestinian twins in his school like omg.. thats actually so sad because no child should need to feel like their ancestry should stop them from playing with other kids!!! so um yea! i genuinely believe the internet should stop being anti semitic! and also i firmly think we need to all hold hands! theres too much hate in this world :(

What happened to you was shitty, and it's sad seeing people use what is happening as an excuse for their antisemitism, this doesn't help anyone and wanting Israeli people (not gouvernment official or IDF members, I am talking about the citizens) to die is just bad, it would be better for them to just let the next generation grow up without anti-palestinian propaganda from their families and their schools

Tho, was there even proof that this person was palestinian aside from what they said themselves ? Cause Palestinians don't usually waste their breath on insulting people for stupid reasons as they, until very recently (and it may still be the case if Israel doesn't respect the ceasefire) were dying and usually tried to reach out for help, talked about what was happening, ect ect

[wexhappyxfew]

shannon!! so i’m a little late to the show BUT i would love alllll the backstory for judy!! i love her sosososo much and will enjoy anything you want to share about her!! tysm 🫶🏻🌻

jj!!!! hi and HELLOOOOO!!!!! i will *happily* spill all i can about some judy background! my sweet bean! i fear im about to yap and there’s no stopping haha! THANK YOU! <3

JUDY R. RYBINSKI

(b. 1922) AGE: 21

Judith R. Rybinski, better known as Judy by her crew, joins the USAAF at the age of 20, in order to get out of the life she grew up in, get some experience in the world, and to do something for the war effort. From the little town of Hot Springs, North Carolina, she grew up in a time where there wasn't a lot of money or food on the table for their large family of 9. This lifestyle really harbored the need for building the foundations of determination, grit and resilience. As one of the oldest of all her siblings, with her father and mother constantly doing whatever they could to bring in as much money as they could, Judy found herself constantly in the position of taking care of her siblings - whether it was waking them up, preparing a meal, getting them out of the door to school, or putting them to bed.

Alongside this, she was helping in any way she could to take care of the struggling family-farm that had been there for generations. This included livestock, crops, and taking what they could from the farm to sell at the market whenever they could. Judy found herself out-of-place when she'd have to go to school, seeing herself compared to the other girls in town - their pretty dresses, delicious-looking lunches, the books they had at their disposal. She would always say that she was lucky to have what she had - a family that worked hard, a family that cared for her and each other, plenty of siblings and experiences and stories to tell. Yet, she felt like she was stuck - like she'd stay on this farm and never get to leave.

A few anons and I last summer really dug into Judy's character here - especially the impacts of her background on her present character (the #judy rybinski tag is filled with this stuff! shoutout to those lovely people!). Not only did the Rybinski family not have a lot of money, leading Judy to grow up fairly poor, but she also grew up very sheltered. The oldest child of the family, Judy's older brother, Antony, was usually incredibly protective of Judy and the rest of their siblings. Whenever she went to town for her job, he'd walk her to and from, made sure she was in at curfew at night and if there were any sort of suspicious people around - Antony was usually close by.

In this way, she hasn't had a lot of experiences with love - some of my previous asks on Judy focus on her lack of romantic experiences - which really is a reflection on why she is the way she is around Rosie. We know she has a crush on him throughout a good portion of first meeting him and interacting with him, and we see how she really doesn't know what to do with these feelings long after. But they're there and she feels them and they are incredibly real to her.

I suspect for Judy this has a lot to do with growing up in the South in the 1930s, combined with the changing times, a woman's role, and a man's perspective of that. The It's Your Fight Too posters hung up around town pulled her towards the war (along with many other women just like her). Her parents were most hesitant if anything; Antony was more supportive, but cautious - his 20-year-old sister wanting to fight in a war?

A lot of surface-level characteristics of Judy focus on her joy, her happiness, her hope and usual 'cup half-full mentality'. But underneath that is a lot of foundations we've previously explored, that have since been built up because of her childhood and upbringing. She's mentally very strong, especially being one of the youngest of the Silver Bullets crew, and always is one of the first people to look on the positive side. This coincides with her constant will to live. When she was younger, her father had taught her and Antony how to do just about anything they needed to survive in the wilderness. She knows how to shoot multiple types of guns (thanks to hunting with her dad and Antony - leading to her roll as a turret gunner), along with stake a tent, strip different animals for food, start a fire, go fishing, and equally be resourceful. Her father grew up in Appalachia all his life and really took these qualities and instilled them into his own children.

Having the presence of her father and mother, though stressed and working as much as they could when she was a child, really helped to allow her to grow, even in hard times. She had a trusting and loving family and sometimes, you don't always hear these types of stories from those struggling. But with Judy, it allowed her to take those steps away from home, to experience something new as well as meet new people!

Through developing Judy and the other Silver Bullets girls, there's the slightly fleshed-out backstory of how each of the SB girls came to be on the crew. Of course, before Annie Bradshaw, there was Captain Birdie Faulkner who handpicked the crew in training. And when it came to turret ball gunner, Judy was one of the first picks for Birdie. It is surmised that Birdie thought Judy to be a "Young, bright, and caring young woman, who had the will to fight and survive coursing through her body, along with an underlying wildness about her that gave a hand to her survival instincts and intelligence with a gun." She also was pretty short and small - someone who could fit easily into a turret ball as well as know how to work in all at once. Judy would credit Birdie for getting her to the war there after.

What's fun about Judy is that, she's sort of become a main character herself? I didn't really expect her to, especially after I decided why not pair her with Rosie Rosenthal? But, she's really become a character people can see themselves in, confide in, find comfort in and really want to protect with their lives. Which genuinely makes me so so happy!!! :)

I could absolutely go into even more depth with any part of this backstory for Judy, but she's been such a pleasure and joy to write. And thank you to everyone who has loved on her and willed yourself to protect her! <3 I TOO WANT TO LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR JUDY RYBINSKI!!!! Thank you again for this ask, JJ! This was a lot of fun! :)

ALSO - Cailee Spaeny is no official face claim, but every time I see gifs or interviews of anything, I can see it as Judy. SO - that's why she appears in the little image heading above! :D

THANK YOU ALL!!!

[chubby-aphrodite]

yep ive decided im just gonna unfollow people who are stupid about it, especially today 👍

like what do you get out posting that. what do you get out of retraumatizing people by posting pictures from the attacks with dumbass edits. is it the shock humor? or what?

i know this is a false dichotomy and ive debated saying it for years knowing people might clown on me for it, but it feels like if people made memey edits of school shootings, especially of pictures of victims or of the emergency response. and i know there's probably people doing that, making memes out of school shootings and crime scenes and natural disasters and gore, but i think we nigh universally agree that that's a bad thing, right? that that's something only assholes do?

and i know i KNOW it's been "shoved down your throat" for over two decades. and you're probably tired of it. but i think as someone immediately materially affected by it, i'm more qualified than anyone in knowing what it feels like to have it shoved down your throat constantly every day all the time no matter what! i'm tired of it too, and i'd love to be able to move on! but because of the general culture surrounding the events and the aftermath, and because of the general irreverence about it starting to take over that displaces it from "really bad thing that happened" to "shock humor i can pull out to offend people," i can't! we can't! my whole goddamn family can't!

and it's absolutely gut-punching, soul-crushing, whatever compound word you wanna use, watching people i thought would know better treat it like a joke. and i get that it's easy to treat it like a joke when you're so disconnected from it, but there are still people you're hurting when you do.

and for the love of all that is good in the world, i'd like to be done decentering my own feelings about it. when i was little i didn't understand and didn't have much of an opinion on it, but i knew it made my family sad and it was the reason i didn't have a dad. as a teenager, i learned the social and global ramifications that arose in the aftermath, and i thought that was more important than processing my own baggage. and don't get me wrong, they are important. meatgrinder forever-wars over greed and extremely loud bigotry and the steps to stop them are important to learn about. and i'd get yelled at if i didn't mention that because this is the piss on the poor website.

but i'd really like to be fucking done with having to bottle up my own feelings about it.

[aroacedragongirl]

Favourite book?/Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Favorite book - I have been absolutely obsessing over Wings of Fire recently (as you can probably tell). My favorite book in the series is almost certainly The Dangerous Gift. It just does so many things right! Snowfall's character arc is amazing and she is surprisingly entertaining. She goes from being comically paranoid about everyone and everything, and just generally terrible, to overcoming all of her fears and destroying the systems and curses that held her kingdom in place.

It was cool to see some of the icewing gifts in action, with the star of the show of course being the gift of vision. I liked the way it was written as being like this full immersion into someone else. like not reading their thoughts, but you are them. and that memory of it and their thoughts and feelings sticks with you even after you wake up. I just thought that was a really interesting concept, and it was essential to snowfall's character arc of learning to be trusting of and open to others.

Jerboa III's character and backstory was also phenomenal. The idea of her mother creating her to be this perfectly idealized version of the child she wanted, almost completely under her control, and resetting her memories unknowably countless times is just so deeply unsettling i love it. and then also she is finally able to break the cycle that she is trapped in and finally be able to live for herself as well. and also her curse is so fucked up but like in a cool way

it was also cool seeing the pyrrhian and pantalan dragons properly interacting for the first time, dont have too much to say about it but i did like that.

also i feel like the introduction of wren and sky to the mainline books was handled pretty well, i thought. It was fun watching the entire worldviews of some of the dragons shatter the first time they heard wren speak dragon, as well as cricket and i think winter nerding out over them was cute

one thing that I wish i paid more attention to was the dynamic between lynx and snowfall. For whatever reason, I have no idea why, my brain just did not fully process lynx being there sometimes and i barely remember anything that she specifically said or did. At some point Im going to reread it focusing primarily on her and her dynamic with snowfall because i feel like i missed a major element of the book

being out of state - I live in Rhode Island, which is small as fuck. Leaving it is basically a requirement for a lot of stuff. For example, i had to drive to massachusetts for my therapist appointment this morning (it was only like a 30 minute drive away). Massachusetts and connecticut like never that long of a drive from basically anywhere here so we end up going there a lot. But I have also been to a lot of other places farther away, too!

Ive been to florida several times, as my family has a disney vacation club membership, which is like a prepaid timeshare basically, so we have gone to disney world a lot. Its really pretty there, and disney is a lot of fun, but florida as a state sucks ass.

Ive also been to hawaii, which I think is the farthest ive been from home but i cant be bothered to actually look up the distances. It was really nice there and i loved the vibes of it. It also rained a ton there.

The first time i left the country was when i went on a cruise for my uncles wedding in the bahamas but i was like 4 so i remember basically nothing about it.

A few years ago I went on a trip with several other students taking spanish from my high school (none of whom I really knew that well) to Costa Rica. It was really cool and we got to see and do a lot of cool things but also i spent a lot of the time being a bit miserable and wanting to go home for reasons that i dont have the energy to get into right now so that is a story for another time, i think. It was genuinely a really cool place though, i just wished i could have enjoyed some aspects of it it a bit better. also i got to see wild sloths so that was cool

Ive also been to vermont and new hampshire. they are cool but i dont have too much to say about them right now. On a boy scouts hiking trip in new hampshire i lost feeling in my foot at the top of a mountai from the cold n so make of that what you will.

I was in band in high school, so i went on a lot of trips for that too. Sophomore year we went to pennsylvania to perform and we got to go to hershey park. We also stopped at a town called Intercourse so naturally kids were getting shirts and hats that said I heart intercourse. In junior year we went to disney world. In senior year we went to new york to see a broadway performance of wicked, and we also went to six flags in new jersey.

so yeah i think that basically covers everywhere ive been

[timingmatters]

Im gonna say it im surprised at the amount of ppl that think Florian is a bad person for cheating on some exams like sjdjdjdjjd. Maybe my high schoolers experience was too marked by mental illness but like… that does not make him a bad person at all it is literally just standardized testing y’all💀 boy still works hard. Also, ppl completely forget his circumstances???? He was scared of failing and being forcedly taken to live with conservative religious family completely against his will. I understand why he felt cornered even if it wasn’t the right thing to do. I just feel like more and more (not just on media like shows but in general) people forget that things arent black and white. Nuance exists, and good people do bad things all the time. He didn’t intend to go #1 or to fuck up Dae. And he prob does have to come clean to help dae with the schoolarship, but it is understandable why he was scared and felt he need to cheat. I’ll take it even one step further and say i would understand if he hesitates about coming clean even after learning about dae. Me personally i would hesitate coming clean and risking being put in a dangerous situation as queer youth bc a person that isn’t my friend might lose a schoolarship tbh. Like i think ultimately i would do the right thing and come clean, and i hope florian does too bc dae doesn’t deserve this BUT I understand if there is hesitation. Something v diff about a person maybe changing schools bc they lose a scholarship vs having to risk my safety going to a religious conservative place to live and be surrounded by them 24/7 and alone. Also you could even argue dae doesn’t even need to have boarding bc it looks like his family home is at a driving distance even if it’s inconvenient 😭

I do hope Dae’s SCHOOLARSHIP is saved. But i think is crazy how many people think florian sucks and Q deserves better simply bc he was scared and did a bad thing. Like cheating on some tests isn’t the end of the world tbh. Is not like he did it for egotistical reasons either. And i 100% side eyed Q for being so hard on florian and his reasoning being “im an athlete i dont believe in that” like sir ur bf just cried to u about being scared for his safety if he doenst get high scores like….. priorities???? I understand being mad AFTER dae’s schoolarship was an issue but before?????????

[volivolition]

Omg thanks for the song recs <333

I loooooved recently by Liana Flores I added it to my bops playlist as soon as I heard the opening oooo's it was so so pretty :)))

I do also like San Fran! But in general I think the Mowgli's do good bops :)) And I love Stella by cereus bright!!!!! You're absolutely right it is absolutely a dancey vibes song and I like a lot of their other songs too!! Happier than me esp. has such toxic familial relationship vibes to me and it's so tasty

I'm so glad you liked hundred days!!!! It's one of my absolutely fav songs in the whole wide world and I'm animating something for a dnd campaign for the song so it's on my mind. I love the part in the middle where it's like the singer is screaming "I WANT. A HUNDRED DAYS. OF BRIGHT LIGHT!!!" and I can FEEL IT IN MY SOUL AND MY HEART

Never love an anchor is a classic and is a complicated motherly relationship song for all characters forever and ever <3 I love the crane wives in general but I think the garden and the well are underrated songs too

So for songs I feel along those vibes I give you:

Beloved, Mumford and sons

Thus always to tyrants, the oh hellos

Willow tree march, the paper kites

Cleopatra, the lumineers

Ophelia, the lumineers

Let's keep the recs going!! <3333

HELLO Q SORRY THIS HAS BEEN IN THE DRAFTS SO LONG (not to mention the cute echem one you sent me a long time ago OOUGH </3) THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT <33

yes i LOVE recently, i relate to it heavily hkjhg <33 "recently everyone says they are seeing less of me / i could do better if i had energy" LIKE. YEAH </3 HJGKJH MOWGLI'S ABSOLUTELY DO GOOD BOPS, waugh im so glad you liked my recs thank you for listening to them!!

HAPPIER THAN ME SOUNDS SO VENGEFUL HKJHG i love the somber intensity ooh it is tasty for real >:3

OMG SONG ANIMATICS, hundred days would make for SUCH a good animatic, the way that it starts with a single clear singer and then RAMPS UP THE ENERGY, it was practically built for a narrative, you could ABSOLUTELY make a dnd campaign animatic from this, i UNDERSTAND I UNDERSTAND FOR REAL. there is a very real yearning energy in this and i ADORE IT, I KNOW THE PART YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT OUGH I LOVE HOW ITS SUNG, the passion!! the emotion OUGH!!! YOU'RE SO REAL AND TRUE FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

oh SO TRUE the crane wives,, ough chefs kiss!! <33

Beloved - i do love mumford and sons <33 this song is sweet awa :'] <33 i keep thinking the verses are building up to something stronger but it seems to keep steadily level? i still like it though, it's lovely <3

Thus Always to Tyrants - OH MY GOD I LOVE THE OH HELLOS SO SOSOSO MUCH THIS WAS ONE OF THE FIRST SONGS I'D HEARD FROM THEM <33 THE STEADY STAMPING BEAT THE "OOOH"S THE GUITAR STARTING UP!!!! YELLS!!! I LOVE THIS FUCKING SONG <3333 where i goooooo, will you still folloowwwww~!!!

Willow Tree March - yesss ive been meaning to get into more of the paper kites! OH WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE HKJGH i swear ive seen an animatic to this or something? i love how folksy it is, 10/10 would give my dnd party bardic inspiration while dancing around a campfire in the forest <33

Cleopatra - oh i am fond of this one, oh you could absolutely make a disco animatic out of this hkjh the first verse being harry and dora ("And it hardened like my heart did when you left town") and the second verse being kim and eyes ("So I drive a taxi, and the traffic distracts me / From the strangers in my backseat, they remind me of you") and the bridge waugh (HARRY - "And the only gifts from my Lord were a birth and a divorce" / KIM - "But I've read this script and the costume fits, so I'll play my part") and then the bedroom after the tribunal ("leads me back to my guestroom / It's a bed and a bathroom / a place for the end'') OUGH VERY NICE HJKGH <33

Ophelia - THIS ONE I DO KNOW YES YES I LOVE OPHELIA DEARLY, this song carried me through senior year of high school actually <33 i used to play this on my ukulele but it never sounded truly right hkjhg the piano in this OUGH ITS SO GOOD. oh oPHELIAH~! heaven help a fool who falls in love <3 adoreee this <33

YES i will send you some as well!! :D <33 i am not actually very good at music recs but we have surprisingly similar tastes hehe <33 thank you thank you!!

[castlebyersafterdark]

an unsolicited brief analysis of noah’s french

- context from some interview: parents know french, he can understand it better than he can speak, he can pick up on things, parents tried to get him to speak french but he rejected it as a kid, but he learned it in school

- his mom is definitely fluent in quebec french, and if anything she has the mildest quebec accent when speaking english

- his dad also probably speaks it, like noah says, though idk if there’s any videos out there of him or anything

- for montreal context: it’s worth noting that montreal is extremely bilingual, and most people speak both languages to a certain degree. also, there are areas (actually, including a lot of historically jewish areas/communities) that are mostly/entirely english-speaking

- to add to what he said in the video, his level of french is giving “the people at family gatherings are speaking french, but i reply to questions in english, and they switch to english to talk to me”

- (NOT in a negative way) the accent is such a common canadian french-immersion-kid accent

- specifically, it’s like: im an english speaker, who’s been taught my whole life by people with france-french accents (or unidentified, unspecified european accents), and the teachers insisted we have ‘proper french pronunciation’ (= my teachers likely look down on/discriminate against regional accents). but i do have exposure to quebec french so its got a bit of a flair to it

- it’s a very normal accent for an english speaker taught starndard-european-french at school. but then there’s like a sprinkling of some je-ne-sais-quebecois to it. it’s barely there, you can barely pick up on it, but IT IS THERE BURIED DEEP SOMEWHERE

(the real paris con question isnt getting him to say anything in french, it’s getting him to say tabarnak or câlisse)

- there are so few clips of him speaking french, so who knows how much he actually knows? but that’s the vibe/impression i got from whatever i saw

- side note, love how the two words he says with no strong english accent at all are “merci” and “je t’aime” - i’m choosing to believe he says je t’aime like that because it’s something his parents say to him a lot

LOVE this, thank you for the rundown!!! Very interested in this for some reason. Appreciate the analysis because it's interesting to me but I'm not a languages person to pickup these very detailed nuances. I just like listening to french speakers. And some other languages as well, but mostly because it's something I tried and failed at and pretty much gave up on, so it's haunting me wistfully. Possibly because I have a lot of interest in the future visiting Canada. Kind of as much as there's so many wonderful places all over the world I'd love to see, getting to Canada is pretty easy and it does not necessarily require a plane. Mostly English there, I know, but I'd still love some base knowledge for the possibility of not. I feel like I'd like to put in the effort for anywhere in general I'd visit. That's part of the joy of travel - cultural difference and all that.

But Back to Noah, hoping for more French speaking in the future. I went on a video search the other day and found some, but not an extensive collection of examples. Loving your little je-ne-sais-quebecois 😁

[bittertarot]

you are so cool and non judgemental to chat with, so thanks very much once again! yeah I think the whole hysteria abojt idols fs in away its intruiging from a non obsessive point of view but for those who do obsess about idols fs are going to be in for a shock whenber idols are revealed to be dating and shock horror, its not themselves.

honestly I regret not really going for it and learning a genuine skill that I could then use later on but sometimes its just matter of having opportunities or being in the right situations to actually gain those skills, for example you could go to a really shitty school and learn something amazing or you can go to a better school but have shitty classmates or teachers that are of no real use to you or courses that arent available and so on and so forth, whilst idols have to go through a lot I do think what they get to do is super cool cause when they pass on they have a legacy to be proud of. Sadly I think it just comes down to them being in the right areas or theyre from the right families who can invest so much into idols gaining their skills and talents. I have yet to really see someone from my country denut in kpop group sooooo it kind of says a lot of where kpop is heading and that they were going to smerica come what may. its just sometimes our situations are very limiting and we cant always win at everything in life either or say you might want to do something but realistically you know its slim to none chances and i think at some point it has an age limit of when you can succeed at it. So even if i wanted to do what i originslly wanted it would take many more years just to get to a good skill and even then you might not be the best at it

I also think sometimes social media makes things neither great nor bad cause people can upload their skills and really empahsis on what they want nowadahs whereas when I was a kid we were doing fuck all with our free time yaknow? kids nowadays shouldnt waste their younger years is what im saying. sometimes i think that i dont fit in with my generation cause of how screen obsessed we all have become and then i dont fit in with newer generations cause they have so many more ways of making success for themselves, im just like what can i offer? honestly not much.

thats also why i lowkey wouldnt mind passing on early just to get out of this screen world that we are in and yet older generations were never bothered with taking selfies then they wouldnt habe been able to get social validation via online, so they were probs happier and things were at least affordable back then. i kinda envy the older generations in that respect, we only got to experience a small handful of years without the pressures of social media and ever since idfk 00s or earlier it kinda went to shit really.

everyone was expected to be online and idk how i really feel about it anymore im sort of over it and modern society generally sucks. so many idols get backlash for no good reason, youtubers who dont do anything wrong get gossiped about and snark pages are endless so even if someone wants to do something amazing with their lives they cant avoid scrutiny of any sorts. its just got way out of hand and its past the point of saying well just dont use it then cause we technically need these devices constantly so ergo its not hard to not be delulu about celebs and the likes either cause its literally everywhere.

Sorry for the late response, been caught up in some important stuff recently (it's not bad stuff LMAO)!! Anyways, thank you so much! I try my best to remain open-minded of any/all perspectives before forming an opinion of my own and even so, I'm very open to hearing others opinions on these matters. Debating issues is something I genuinely enjoy, as long as it is a polite and healthy debate ofc. It is quite interesting, I'd say it has something to do with the "loneliness epidemic" (as I like to call it) of these times. We're in a time where technology is increasing rapidly and human interaction isn't as common, we're more attached to our screens than actual people and that becomes an issue when it places you out of touch with reality! The obsessions over being an FS and whatnot is genuinely awful, like fans hating on idols and their relationships have led to some couples even splitting; look at Lee Jae Wook and Karina from Aespa as our most recent example. It's never too late to try, really. You can learn any skill no matter your age as long as you can put enough effort in, remain disciplined and dedicate time to it! I think your point there is quite valid, but since technology has advanced so rapidly, you can realistically learn most skills online now by a few quick google searches, taking notes, learning and applying them practically. I think it is quite cool how idols have a legacy that'll be remembered for a while. It's something I'd want to achieve before passing on, as even though making an impact, being remembered, etc isn't a neccessity it does in a way lessen the anxiety about passing on? It makes you feel like there is a chance that people will still mention you, bring you up, that what you did could be studied or researched by other people, that your story could motivate others into getting their shit together, etc. A lot of idols aren't in the right areas or families, though. I'll use BTS as an example here; some members had extremely poor families and were from a run-down agency that could never compete with the big 3. Look at where they are now? They single-handedly built up their label, going from Bighit to HYBE. Practice makes perfect, the more you practice, the more work you put in, the better you will get at that skill! Obviously, blind optimism isn't helpful but if you take the realistic steps in place to where you want to be in the next few years now; it will happen and you will succeed. I completely agree that we, as a society, have all become too screen obsessed and I'm also guilty of this, but it is an issue. It's caused a lot of parents to just let the screen teach their kids, too. I'm sure you have a lot to offer to the world, even if you might not think so. You can do it, though! I believe in you and I'm proud of what you have done so far :] !! I had a discussion with a friend about a similar topic to this, but a lot of trends now are fueled by "nostalgia" where things looked happier and less daunting to live in. I think after 2015 is when things started to spiral, but that's my personal take. You're more than free to disagree with anything I've said!! I don't think you should force yourself to be online, stick to the trends, etc. Do what makes you happy and you'll see yourself shine brilliantly! And yeah, a lot of delusional ideals are fueled by big companies nowadays, too, since fans will obviously put more money into those celebs if they feel like they might get "noticed" - which could also be why concert tickets are getting higher and higher even for newly debuted groups. That's my take on all this, though, feel free to respond and add on, agree, disagree, etc! <33