#my emo baby (alexander)

[avalordream]

Derek: After journeying for seven nights and seven days, the party finally comes across the old decrepit bridge that leads to the hillside where some goats are grazing!

Baxter: Child's play. I roll a stealth check to see if there is anything nearby and walk under the bridge.

Baxter: Rolls a fucking one.

Derek: Evidently, you see nothing but trip over someone sleeping.

Cove: A HOBO?!

[shimomcdragon]

some doodles of my freakazoids (+new oc)

[ask-hs-john-laurens]

"yeah. I had a feeling it wasn't just for eating popcorn and watching the birds, even though you know how much I love birds.."

John chuckles, feeling their legs touch. A light blush coated his cheeks.

John and Alex sat on a bench and ate popcorn at the park. They always did things like this, considering John was one of Alexander's best friends. It was a bit weird that Alex had invited him out here on short notice, but he was having a good time sharing popcorn with him while they watched birds.

@ask-hs-john-laurens

Alexander grabbed some popcorn and got a bit closer to John, their legs brushing against each other.

"You're probably wondering why i invited you out here, huh?"

He asks before eating some popcorn.

[aanoia]

Pretty in the Moonlight

Thomas Jefferson x reader

Summary; just missing your boyfriend and him missing you

Warnings; broken glass, cheesy Thomas

Words; idkk

I wrote this forever ago

Requests are welcome and encouraged!

Baby😘

y’know ur rly pretty, we should go out sometime

r u high again

highly in love with u

u do the cutest things

like what

exist

I smiled at my phone as I sat on my couch. I stared at what my boyfriend of almost a year said to me, happiness blooming in my heart. My phone dinged as another message came through.

Sick Boi 🤒🤧

are you texting him rn

like currently

?

wha

thomas, r u texting thomas rn

yes

dude he’s smiling at his phone mad hard rn

stop, my heart

i’m not kidding he’s smiling so much

I shut my phone off and squealed, kicking my legs into the air. Fast footsteps came down the hall to reveal the youngest Schuyler sister.

“What is it? What happened?” She asked quickly.

“Come here,” I motioned her over as her sister came behind her. Peggy sat next to me whereas Angelica and Eliza stood behind the couch, peering over our shoulders.

I opened my phone to show them the texts. Big smiles grew on their faces as they read Thomas’ texts, and then Peggy started squealing when she read James’.

“Oh my god, y/n, Jeffersons in love with you,” Angelica commented with a big smile.

“By the looks of it the feeling is reciprocated as well,” Eliza teased and I smiled, hiding my red face in my sweater paws.

Thomas’ sweater. I remember when he purposely ordered it a size too big for him (for my bigger girls who think they won’t fit into his sweatshirt, don’t sweat it, he needs bigger sizes for his big muscles and he likes his sweatshirts big on him as well, don’t worry about that my loves, body positivity) so it’d be baggy on me.

“Omg, you should go see him!” Peggy said excitedly, “When was the last time you left the dorm? You’ve been so busy studying, you haven’t had time to see him. He’s probably so emo about it,” She said quickly and I laughed.

“Okay, I’ll go see him,” I stood from the couch as the sisters dispersed and walked to my room. I put on a pair of sweatpants over my shorts because it was cold outside, and just slipped my slides over my socks. The combo might look horrible but it’s so comfortable.

I stepped out of the door, immediately shivering at the cold night air as I closed it. I could see my breath in the air as I looked at the moon and the stars, slightly smiling at the sight before my eyes. I truly am grateful it’s a sight I get the privilege to see anytime when the clouds aren’t out and concealing its beauty. The leaves on the trees sang as the wind passed through them, every once in a while a leaf would fall, signaling that winter was coming soon.

As I neared Thomas’ dorm room I heard voices inside, the dumbest thing the school’s done was put Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton in the same dorm room. I went up to the door and decided to silently walk in instead of knocking. The boys were arguing in the living room area of the dorm as James was trying not to have a coughing fit on the couch and Aaron was sitting at the island holding his head in his hands. John was nowhere to be found so I assumed he was next door with Laf and Hercules.

I silently walked over to the fridge, waving to Aaron who immediately noticed I was there. I grabbed a glass from the drying mat and quietly pulled the milk from the fridge, I barely paid attention to the fight that was happening as I poured my milk. I turned around and walked towards the island but tripped over something, in an attempt to not step on whatever I tripped on, I dropped the glass of milk. The glass shattered against the ground, successfully catching the attention of everyone in the room.

I gave them a sheepish smile, “Hi?”

“Darlin’, when did you get here?” Thomas asked, frozen in place.

“Like, two minutes ago. Now, where is the broom?”

Aaron pointed to the corner where the trash can was and I nodded as a silent thank you. Before I got the broom, I bent down and picked up the culprit for the tripping. John’s turtle.

“Here, I’ll put him in his enclosure,” Aaron offered and I smiled at him, handing the turtle over to him.

I went to get the broom, but Thomas ran and beat me there.

“Let me get that for you.” He said and I rolled my eyes, grabbing onto the broom, but he didn’t let go.

“Thomas, I made the mess.”

“It’s my dorm, and I’m stronger than you. I win."

I rolled my eyes again and defiantly let go. I began searching for a rag to clean the milk up with as he swept up the glass. Alexander threw something at me and I smiled at the rag in my hands.

“Thanks, dickhead.”

“Anytime, asshole."

After Thomas swept the glass I quickly wiped up the milk. Once I put the rag in the sink arms immediately wrapped around my waist.

“Hello, baby." I said quietly with a smile.

“I missed you.” He whispered in my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

“I’ve missed you too, my love.”

“I wanna go on a walk with you,” He mumbled.

“Okay, let’s go.” I gently unwrapped his arms from my waist and he reluctantly left my side to slip his shoes on.

Once he put them on he opened the door and gestured for me to exit. I did and he followed after me, quietly closing the door so as to not wake anyone. He held my cold hand, warming it up as we walked.

We walked in silence until we sat on a bench, looking up at the moon.

It was quiet until his voice cut through the air.

“Has anyone ever told you that your eyes sparkle in the moonlight?”

I looked at him beside me and smiled, “No, no one has ever told me that. And that's really cheesy.”

He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear (if you have long enough hair for that), “Shame on them. You’re so beautiful in the moonlight. And I love cheese so that's okay.”

“As are you, Thomas, and yes, cheese is delicious.” I responded as his face neared mine.

Our lips met in a soft kiss, his hand touched my cheek. My heart’s rhythm synced with his and our lips moved together perfectly, his thumb gently caressed my cheek, and my arm wrapped around the back of his neck. We pulled back for air, our foreheads resting against each other.

“I love you so much, mon amour.” He whispered.

“I love you too.” I whispered back with a smile.

[quarkslobes]

deep space 9!

ok here we go:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

it used to be odo but now by far sisko, mainly because the benny russell plotline is my absolute favorite star trek plot ever. is he sisko or benny.... if he ascended to the prophets or whatever did he create benny?? if benny russell was a real author in strange new worlds... what does that mean. "you are the dreamer and the dream" is rotating in my microwave brain constantly. odo is still my emo repressed babygirl though.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

if couples count, worf and jadzia. yes they can and have gotten away with murder yes i still want to put them in a little jar on my desk. they're legitimately one of the best written tv couples ever. worf is the wife and jadzia is the husband though

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

damar, im not saying hes a good person or anything but his arc was so interesting to me and he did have his very good moments at the end

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

rom and leeta. roms development was also SO good and leeta is the cutest side character ever i love her. like star trek does not get better than wimpy alien man finding his passion for engineering and falling in love with his hooters waitress wife who helps him form a union. that was peak cinema

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

i cant think of a character that's necessarily unpopular... maybe lwaxana?? i know she was like a minor villain in tng but i loved her in that ep where she hung out with alexander, and her friendship with odo later on in the show was actually super cute to me. she is a queen idc what tng says. headcanon she's still like alexanders cool aunt and worf is very tired.

also near the end... kai winn?? i do not like her or think she was a good person at all but i did feel bad for her for maybe two seconds near the end. i dont know she spent her life wanting to talk to god only for some alien guy to become emissary so while shes evil and i hate her i kinda have pity for her so shes my meow meow idk

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

dukat for sure. i would drop dukat in hot soup. definitely the best written star trek villain though and marc alaimo is such a good actor, every time i watch a dukat ep im like how does alaimo act so well that i genuinely hate this man with a passion

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

kai winn. i know i just said shes my meow meow but i hate her i hate her. same thing with marc alaimo though, louise fletcher was such a good actor that for 45 minutes i hated her like she was real dude

[plumbogs]

while alexander was out the rest of the family had a nice day. I bought them new outfits for spring, including cute matchy goth dresses for cassandra and mall :) they look so much alike it's going to kill meee

alex is like... totally emo and stuff now.... because the world is like dumb and stuff... so he decided to turn emo....

i'm glad the height cheater randomized the goths to be tall and confirm my own twisted headcanons. cassandra is sooo tall. i think her setting is at 175 or something around there? and alexander is even taller than that. mortimer is also tall for an elder. it's easy to forget that they're all tall until a normal height sim visits

despite looking a lot like cassandra, Mall Goth is (to everyone's suffering) a clone of don personality-wise excluding the Goth Playfulness(tm). which explains why she hated being left alone as a baby

[joderpierre]

you know what’s sad that i’ll probably be able to tell my favourite players how i love them and how they’ve helped me

[khaleesiofalicante]

Dani: ‘How can I make people realise Shinyun’s obsession with Edom?’

‘Edom is my Alexander.’ 😭

It’s sad though, that her having a baby is a strategy, that she can’t see a life for herself that isn’t about her work. It’s just as horrible that someone walked away from her because of fertility issues. As much as we can hate on her, she doesn’t deserve any of that. She prob has her own traumas too.

I’m glad she has Magnus to support her through this.

I'm quite proud of that line ;)

Yes, fuck that guy who walked away (god knows there are people irl like that ugh). And yes, I'm glad she has Magnus too.

And I don't think she deserved any of that either. Because in this story, she actively didn't try to hurt anyone (well at least not Magnus) so like I don't see why we would want her to suffer. Even trsom Shinyun was like that. After all of that, he didn't want her to suffer.

Okay now I am emo about Magnus' kindness (WHICH IS A WHOLE THING FOR ME)

[kuroi-sims]

all the streets where I walked alone, with nowhere to go, have come to an end

[maybedefinitely404]

Day 16: Prinxiety

@tsshipmonth2020

Heeey, look at that, I’m behind! Day 16: When your soulmate listens to music, you hear it in your own head as well. 

Content warnings: assumed death of a soulmate (he’s not dead), depression, general sad vibes.

Word count: 2.6k

Note: the songs referenced in this fic are IDK You Yet by Alexander 23 and Love is Gone by SLANDER. Both of these songs make me cry and were the inspiration for this.

It was at midnight on December 19th when Roman’s soulmark first appeared. He didn’t realize this until 1am.

Granted, he didn’t know it was his soulmark for the first hour.

At first, the almost imperceptible steady beat in his head just seemed like a song that had gotten stuck in there. He didn’t remember ever hearing the song, but it wasn’t unlikely that he’d heard the tune at the store or on the radio and it unconsciously ingrained itself into his memory. He was working on an assignment that was due in the morning, a script analysis for one of his Theatre courses, and had begun to bop his head along to the music when his roommate walked in, eyes bleary and arms laden with books.

“Why aren’t you in bed?” He asked through a yawn, dropping the books on his desk and flopping into the bottom bunk. 

“I could ask you the same question, Pat,” Roman hummed, completing his conclusion paragraph with a dramatic flair of his hands. “Just finished my paper. Going now.”

“Lost track of time at the library,” Patton murmured in response, draping his arms over his eyes. 

Closing his computer, Roman popped his back and climbed up the small ladder into the top bunk, using his cellphone as a flashlight. He assumed Patton was already fast asleep (the man could fall asleep at the drop of a hat) and tried to follow suit, only to sit up in annoyance after several minutes.

Whatever song was stuck in his head was keeping him up. 

He remembered a tip he’d seen on the internet once, that said if you sing the last part of the song, it’s easier to get out of your head. Something about ‘your brain needing to complete it to be satisfied’ or whatever. As hard as he focused, though, he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what song it was, much less the ending. 

The more he concentrated on it, the louder it seemed to get, until it was no longer a hum of bass in the back of his skull, and he could make out the lyrics, the guitar solos, everything. He definitely hadn’t heard this song before. It wasn’t the kind you’d hear playing in public; it was loud, swears thrown in every chorus, just generally the kind of thing you’d hear in a Hot Topic but nowhere else. 

And then it stopped.

For a split second he was pleased, thanking his brain for finally shutting off, and conceded to lie back down. He might be able to get six hours of sleep at this rate. Pretty good, for a college student. 

Except as soon as he closed his eyes, another song started. It was another one he didn’t know, one he would have no way of knowing each word to. The realization hit him hard and his eyes shot open, nearly falling off the ladder in his haste to climb down.

“Roman? Everything okay?” Patton drawled, clearly having been woken up by Roman’s enthusiasm. 

“My soulbond!”

“What?!” That got his attention and he jerked up, narrowly missing whacking his head on the top bunk.

“The music in my head all night, it’s my soulmate! It must be his birthday!”

He was pulling up music on his laptop before he’d even processed it, hands freezing over the keyboard as his brain grasped for something to play. What could he play that would properly introduce himself to his soulmate? A show tune? Something from the 80s? But his mind had gone completely blank, and he couldn’t think of a single one.

“What do I play, Pat?” He gasped, tapping the mousepad in time with the upbeat tempo in his head. 

Patton was suddenly leaning over his shoulder, clacking a name into the search bar before pressing enter. Roman narrowed his eyes 

“Why that one?”

Patton shrugged, “It’s kind of cheesy romantic, like you. And the first line is fitting.”

“A valid point,” Roman announced, closing his eyes to listen for a pause as the music switched. The second the song ended, he slammed the space bar, begging it to play before the next one started. 

How can you miss someone you’ve never met?

Because I need you now but I don’t know you yet,

But can you find me soon, because I’m in my head,

Yeah, I need you now but I don't know you yet.

A little more depressing than he initially would have chosen, but he could see Patton’s point. The music on the other end had been paused and he smiled in accomplishment, knowing that he must have heard. He let the song play to the end of the first chorus before pausing it, waiting with his roommate with baited breath.

The silence was almost unbearably long, Patton watching him intently for some kind of indication that the music was back.

Hello,

It’s me.

Adele’s soothing melody filled his mind and he absolutely wheezed with laughter. Patton grinned and let him explain through gasps for air, and he let out a giggle in response.

“Okay,” Roman snorted, “What next?”

Patton passed out probably an hour later after helping Roman pick out songs that would adequately encompass him as a person, but the theatre student didn’t sleep last night. Eventually him and his soulmate found a nice rhythm, each playing a song in turn. It didn’t take long for him to assume that his soulmate was emo (a fact that had him blushing furiously), simply due to the overwhelming amount of My Chemical Romance and Green Day played in his head, and he figured it was probably pretty obvious that he was a theatre kid. The second song he played was from Heathers, afterall. 

When his eyes finally started drooping too much to ignore, he knew he had to end this soon. The soulmate’s song ended and he quickly pulled up the first thing he’d thought of, a children’s lullaby, trying to indicate that he had to sleep.

There was quiet on the other end when the song ended, before the beginning trills of Baby Shark started playing and he groaned, quickly muffling the sound with his hand so as to not wake his roommate. He didn’t let it play past one verse, thank Olympus, and then his mind was quiet for the first time in many hours. It seemed like a mutual agreement that ‘now is sleep time’, and Roman went to sleep with a smile on his face.

Their new norm was quickly established in the following weeks. It became obvious almost right away that playing their music at the same time was cacophonous and only caused headaches, so they eventually settled on switching days. Every second morning, Roman would wake up to his alarm and quickly start his morning playlist, a set of rousing, uplifting, exciting songs to get his blood flowing for the day. It was his day to choose the music, so he’d set his walking playlist for class and his study one for the evenings, sometimes playing an adventure podcast or something to spice things up. The other days, he’d be woken by the soft notes of melancholy tunes, starting the day slowly. As the morning progressed, usually by the time he was eating breakfast, the tone would change to something a little more fast paced, as if his soulmate needed to warm up before getting to the main act. As much as the music wasn’t his style, he found himself keeping pace to the beat with his steps, bopping his head along to the melody, humming a harmony to the more commonly played ones. Just knowing that this was his soulmate made it better. 

And then, one day… the music stopped. 

He’d woken up around noon, not a big deal since he didn’t have classes until after lunch anyways, but he knew for a fact that his soulmate was always up by 10, latest. Whether the other had classes or a job that kept his schedule, he didn’t know. It was an oddity for sure that there was no alarm. 

He put it off to the other probably having a sick day, or a free schedule, and he was sleeping in for once. The worry only started creeping in near the evening, when usually at this time, the music would start slowing down again as the sun set. There hadn’t been a peep all day, which was very unlike either of them. Even though the silence bothered him, he wouldn’t dare intrude on the other’s day, so he studied and ate dinner in silence, tapping his pencil against the table. Of course, he put it off to a one day fluke. 

Except, two days after, when it should have been his soulmate’s turn again, there was no music. And the time after that. And the one after that. It was almost two weeks of radio silence on the other end before he called Patton through broken sobs, pleading for him to stop studying and come back to the dorm. Obviously, he made the ten minute walk in five. 

And then Roman admitted the way his anxieties had been spiralling.

“What if- What if our soulbond broke? Did the universe realize we were a mistake? Or… or what if he died?! What if he’s hurt or dying or alone and I’m just-”

Patton shushed him gently, rubbing his back as Roman hiccuped into his shoulder. “When did this start?”

“Two- two weeks ago.”

“Then isn’t it possible that he just isn’t listening to music for a little while? Maybe he’s… somewhere without wifi. Or his phone broke.”

Even though he very much didn’t believe a word Patton was saying, he nodded along messily, clutching Patton’s shirt tighter. He eventually agreed to give him more time, hold on just a little longer, before completely giving up.

It took about a month before he did, and it didn’t get better from there. 

Their consistency had been their norm for almost nine months, over summer break and now into the new school year, and now it was torn away without warning. Roman refused to listen to music on days that weren’t his, even though Patton tried to tell him it was okay, but he wouldn’t. It didn’t feel right. He mourned his soulmate the same way he would mourn a close friend’s death, for he truly believed he was gone for good. The person he’d barely gotten to understand, much less meet, and he was just��� gone. He was going to live the rest of his life without a soulmate.

Most nights he just did the bare basics of the homework he had to do, without any of the old flair he’d put into all his work, and curled onto his bed to watch a show or, on his days, listen to music. His old playlists had shifted to the bottom of his rotation, now only bringing sadder memories that Patton had insisted he not indulge in at this point, so it was usually just automated lists he found. Nothing was special about them anymore. 

Today was his day, an uneventful Saturday where the most exciting occurrence was Patton convincing him to come to the cafeteria and eat with other people. It had been tiring and only made him feel more alone, so his daily scheduled moping times had come up a little earlier. Patton had given him a hug and a gentle kiss on the head, telling him he had to go meet some people for a group project, and to call if he needed anything, before grabbing his bag and leaving. Roman didn’t miss the sad look tossed his way before the door shut.

Despite Patton’s advice, he was feeling particularly shitty today, and his fingers, seemingly with a mind of their own, pulled up one of his older playlists. One of the ones that was reminiscent of days when he actually had a soulmate. He clicked shuffle and tossed the phone onto the pillow next to his head, curling that much deeper into his blankets, as if he could somehow refill the void that had been cut out of him. 

How can you miss someone you’ve never met?

Because I need you now but I don’t know you yet,

But can you find me soon, because I’m in my head,

Yeah, I need you now but I don't know you yet.

The first song he’d ever played had become a sort of inside joke between them. Despite the song’s sad melody and somber lyrics, it was a reminder of the first time they’d interacted; an awkward, laughter filled night. At least, it had been on Roman’s night, and he could only hope it had been the same on the other end. 

He didn’t even realize he was crying until the pillow beneath him was tear stained and gross to lay on. Why had the universe chosen him as the target for its cruel irony? Not that he wished this on anyone else… but why couldn’t soulmates be foolproof? Why was there that margin for error, the always-there possibility that everything you’ve ever dreamed of will be ripped out of your hands just as soon as you think you have it? So close, but so far. At least before they’d connected, he’d lived in blissful hope and ignorance. 

The song ended and he pressed pause lethargically, not able to find the emotional strength to listen to more. Maybe Patton had been right. A glance out the window showed that it was well past nightfall, the full moon gleaming into his window, and he decided to just sleep the emptiness away. It hadn’t worked so far, but maybe tonight was the night. He turned off his phone screen and plugged it in to charge, rolling away to face the wall, and waited for the soothing peace of sleep to take over him.

At first, he thought it was just a hallucination, wishful thinking. More than once in the three months since his soulmate disappeared, he’d thought he’d heard music, only for the feeling to disappear as soon as he focused on it. A soulbond only became louder when concentrated on, so he eventually realized he was doing it to himself subconsciously, his mind struggling to fill the emptiness that had once been filled by the other’s music. 

When it disappeared, he figured it was music from someone else’s dorm filtering through the thin walls. But no, this was too clear, too distinct, too ingrained, to be coming from an external source.

He calmed his racing heart before he could jump to conclusions. This music isn’t like what his used to be. It must be your brain, because he’s gone. He’s GONE, Roman.

Much as he tried to push it down, he couldn’t. It was becoming evident that no, something was happening, and it had to do with his soulmate. As he had done for the time he’d known (could it be considered ‘knowing’) the other, he concentrated on the lyrics, because those were the only feeble ways they’d interacted in those times. 

I’m sorry,

Don’t leave me,

I want you here with me, 

I know that your love is gone.

I can’t breathe,

I’m so weak, 

I know this isn’t easy,

Don’t tell me that your love is gone,

That your love is gone.

Patton walked in after his group meeting to see Roman sobbing in his bed and, immediately assuming the worst, he jumped onto the bed and pulled him into his arms. Through gasps for breath, Roman was able to choke out that, “He’s back. He’s playing music. He’s back. He’s back.”

Part 2 HERE

[incorrect-sdv-quotes]

Okay so I know this is a SDV Incorrect quote blog but I really wanted to show off my SDV headcanon’s so you may ignore this post if you wish (I’ll go back to the normal posts after this, I have like 13 quotes queue’d up right now) 

Headcanon’s under the cut:

1.Alex’s real first name is Alexander he just prefers to go by Alex

2.Alex is a trans male so he was born female but transitioned to male at age 13

3.The bachelors ages are (listed youngest to oldest):

 Alex: 19 

Sebastian: 19 (one month older then Alex)

Sam: 20

Harvey: 25-30

Elliott: 36

Shane: 38

4.Despite Sam being older then him Alex is taller (if you put them side by side Sam looks taller but that’s only cause of his hair if you flattened it you could see Alex was taller)

5.Sebastian is secretly a vampire (He does look like one anyway)

6. Haley and Alex kind of have a Hazel and Xander from Bunk’d relationship where they’re kinda friends but one of them *cough cough* Haley *cough* has a huge crush on the other to where it’s at yandere point- Haley is not QUITE as crazy about Alex that Hazel is about Xander and unlike Hazel Haley can hide the craziness she does have around people but when it’s just her and Alex she’s all crazy and clingy- 

Like, she’ll call him pet names like “My jock prince” or “Alex-zandy-” or “My knight in shining armor” Etc. etc- or hug him and never let go until someone LITERALLY prys her off- Talk about nutty nutty nut-so-

7. My headcanon voices for the bachelors are: (Well some of them, if a name is in strike through that means I don’t have one for that one- yet)

Alex: Shining Armor from MLP

Sebastian

Sam: Rottmnt Leo/2020 Sonic the Hedgehog/Dewy from Ducktails (this one might change)

Harvey: Fozzie Bear (Harvey: WaKa WaKa (I’m sorry))

Elliott: Gunther from Shake It Up

Shane

8.Shane is basically the god of chickens he’s such a good caretaker of chickens that he could summon an army of chickens to peck the eyes out of everyone in town with one “Babock” CHICKEN ARMY!!

If you decided to read this post and you liked my headcanons then this is it for now more might be added later as I play the game and scroll through the SDV tags on Tumblr more 

EDIT 1: More headcanons!:

9: Elliott is an amazing actor but a horrid horror-movie actor (It’s just his screams are unrealistic he will literally just say “Aaaah” otherwise it’s the same as the rest of his acting) (This scream-glitch is an easy fix if you yell “Ghost” more on that in 10)

10: Elliott is TERRIFIED of ghosts even those cute and/or clearly fake ghosts (Why else do you think Spirits Eve/Halloween has Skeletons every year and not ghosts? No one wants to scare anyone Too bad.) Actually Alex dared Elliott to watch the Disney Junior show Vampirina which went fine until Demi came on screen- Elliott literally wet himself and screamed for 3 whole hours- (Poor Alex who had to listen to that the whole time-)

11: Elliott treats his pocket crab as his ACTUAL son, not as his pet but as his actual biological son (it’s actually really cute)

12: The portraits in this video for a portraits mod is how the characters actually look to me (Excluding Elliott Sam and Sebastian they still live in my brain with their cannon looks): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmBW8BzSZpU&list=WL&index=1&t=5s

13: Krobus is Sebastian’s father (yeah you THINK it would not make sense along with Hc numb.5 but if you think about it if his father is a monster and his mother is human he’s gonna be born as a human-looking monster! Which is a Vampire!)

EDIT 2: Damnit. I was scrolling through this and I realized I missed a Hc and it slipped through the original post and the EDIT 1!

14: Alex has Dyslexia (this bugger Hc belonged in the original post but it slipped through both edits)

EDIT 3: MORE HEADCANNONS-

15: Both Abigail and Sebastian used to have hair to match their parents (Abby’s was brown (Like said in game) and Sebastian’s was Ginger) but due to their “Unusual” parents (Abigail: Wizard Sebastian: Krobus) their hair changed color when they got older and their mothers just pretended they died their hair so both the towns people and Abigail and Sebastian themselves would not freak out 

16: Sebastian has snake bite piercing's but he only wears them when he’s alone (he got them in the first place cause 1: Sam dared him and 2: he decided it would be a fun way to rebel against dead to Sebastian Demetrius, he didn’t have to keep them but he ended up liking the look) 

17: Sebastian owns a giant frog plush, it’s twice the size of him, is really soft and is incredibly fat (it’s to the point it’s just a circle that has stubby legs) he loves it more then anything Excluding Alex but he does not want anyone finding out he loves it let alone owns it so he stuffs it under his bed when people are in and/or near his room

18: Sebastian’s first word was literally “Froggy”

Ex:

Robin: Can you say “mama”?

Baby!Sebastian: ...Froggy!

Robin:

Robin: Out of all words your first word is “Froggy”? Really?

19: The shortest to tallest Bachelors are:

Shane

Sam (If you take his hair and go *Squishes flat*)

Alex

Sebastian

Sam (If you count the added height from his Mullet)

Harvey

Elliott (Tall stinky sea dude)

20: Sam got Sebastian to scream “Bubbles” for 5 hours straight 

Details on that:

Sam: It’s impossible to say “Bubbles” threateningly

Sebastian:

Five munities later:

Robin: Uhhhh Sam? Why is my son on the roof screaming “BUBBLES”?

21: Sebastian owns a biker jacket but he only wears it when riding his motorcycle cause the jacket makes him look way more goth then emo and he prefers the emo look over goth look despite he acts more like a goth

22: One Feast of The Winter Star Sebastian got everyone an empty box and when they opened it Seb said: “It’s a void of nothingness. Just like life.” He did not get in trouble or nothing cause your allowed to give what you want but he did not do that again

23: Sebastian requires glasses to read, he can see perfectly but when it comes to reading on a computer or on paper he needs glasses

24: Sam does a perfect Darth Vader voice and Darth Vader breathing noises

25: Sebastian has vampire powers (cause he is a vampire (Hc 5)), he knows about them and is chill about it but he does not use them unless necessary cause he just does not feel the need to use them otherwise (His powers include, immortality (he also can’t be killed cause on my take on Vampires the stuff that “Traditionally” harms/kills them is just a mith and actually does nothing to them), super strength, increased speed, fast self-healing, telekinesis (I know this is not “Traditionally” a vampire power but Seb does have it) and the ability to change into a bat)

26: Both Sebastian and Elliott are actually pretty jacked (Not Alex level jacked but still) you just can’t see it unless they’re shirt-less (but in Seb’s case at least loose the hoodie)

27: Harvey’s doctor’s mallet weapon is just as heavy and as big as himself so he rarely goes into combat cause he has trouble welding his own weapon- 

Harvey: Time to explore the mines! *grabs his giant doctors mallet*

Harvey: Nope going down. *falls backward with a thud*

28: Elliott carries at least one very sharp pencil with him at all times so if he sees a very annoying person or a slime that escaped the mines he’ll grab it and go *StAb*

29: Everyone else makes Hermit jokes around Elliott which he finds funny and annoying at the same time (They used to do the jokes about Sebastian as well but they stopped cause when they did Seb strangled them Darth Vader style) Ex of the hermit jokes:

*singing* Someone’s on the beach with a hermit! There’s a hermit on the beach I know I know! Someone’s on the beach with a hermiiiit! And the hermit’s name is Elliott!

30: If you think Elliott’s cannon SDV schedule is anti-social you should see how anti-social he gets when writing a book-

EDIT 4: Surprise, there’s more

31: Elliott is a mermaid merman (he’s a human by day half human half fish by night but he’ll change forms sooner if you dump water on him- found that out by Haley throwing water on him in hopes he’ll melt-)

32: When in ‘fish’ form Elliott’s tail is incredibly strong (if you get hit by it you’ll go flying 900 feet in the air in 5 seconds at full strength)

33:Elliott only lets Harvey call him “Elly” if anyone else does so expect Elliott to dump water on himself then hit you with his fish tail)

34:Vincent will sing The Little Mermaid song “Under the sea” around Elliott and Sebastian (Sebastian cause think about it and Elliott cause he’s an IRL Mermaid)

[justcallmenikki7]

BTS Reaction To: Going Shopping With Your Child

Summary: you and your boyfriend go out with your kid for the day

Warnings: fluffff, cute dad bts, jimin wanting to prove the BULLIES WRONG, mentions of some bullying? its just not stated just implied to the daughter, reader has some anxiety in taehyungs part, mentions of puking, fluff in general.

Request: Can you do an imagine with BTS members where you go shopping with your kid (preferably small kid or baby) but you can do anything :)

W.C.: 1.7k

Notes: ALMOST FINISHED WITH ALL OF THE ASKS IN MY INBOX!! 2 TO GO!

Seokjin:

For the first time since you gave birth to your son Alexander, your boyfriend wanted to go out and show your now little family. At first you were reluctant because of the fear of something bad happening such as Alexander catching a cold, someone taking your son, the paparazzi scaring him – you are just plain nervous. But the reassurance from your boyfriend and encouraging words, he got you to say yes and the excitement in his eyes had you relaxing.

After gathering your bag that held everything you need for the day, you got Alexander and you dress while Seokjin was out in the garage putting in the car seat. Dressing yourself in something comfortable but also stylish, you got Alexander and made your way to the garage.

“See, everything will be fine, you said.”  You mocked your boyfriend. “There is nothing to worry about, you added.” You glared at your boyfriend who was giving you a worried smile as you tried to get rid of the puke stain that Alexander caused.

“Hey! Baby’s puking is normal thing, you have nothing to worry about!”

“Oh! Nothing to worry about, huh? He managed to get puke on both me and the waitress!” You exclaimed, rubbing even harder on the area where Alexander puked.

Cringing, Seokjin gave you a nervous smile, “Okay maybe there is something to worry about?”

“You think?!”

Yoongi:

Sitting on the bench outside of the Victoria Secret shop, Yoongi held Mia in his arms, lightly bouncing her so she can fall asleep. There was a slight pout on his lips because he could not bring into the store with you while you shopped – and this is one of Yoongi’s favorite stores to shop with you in.

A small whine escaped Mia’s lips causing the rapper to frown at his daughter. “Hey, why are you whining?” He asked, knowing that she will not give him a verbal response, only another whine came from the small child. Not knowing what else to do, Yoongi began to start singing ‘So Far Away’ to Mia, praying to whoever is listening that it will calm his daughter down.

You just got done finishing your shopping inside Victoria Secret, wanting to get some new pajamas and underwear, and a cute little backpack for days out with your daughter. As you were walking out of the store, you stopped in your tracks when you heard your husbands voice singing. Walking quietly over to him, you began to tear up because the scene that is right in front of you is picture perfect. Knowing that your husband does not notice you yet, you shimmied your way onto the bench with him as discretely as possible, wanting to see how long that it will take for him to notice you. Once he was done singing, you laid your head on his shoulder, only to get knocked in face due to him jumping from your presence.

“God Dammit Min Yoongi,” you cursed, rubbing your jaw.

“Well you shouldn’t have scared me like that!”

“Oh wow, so now its my fault?”

Hoseok:

Going out with your husband and twins was a bad idea.

Why?

Well, Hoseok lost Maggie and you are dealing with Jisoo who is wanting to get a new pair of leggings because her old ones now have holes in them from gymnastics. But the thing is, Jisoo is very picky when it comes to leggings and now you know how your mom felt when she took you shopping.

“But mom, they are too thick and they’re going to make me uncomfortable.” Your eight-year-old daughter explained.

“Well for some reason, this is all that they have, and you have tried on every pair. Do you want to go to Walmart and see if they have the ones you like?” You asked, folding the pair of leggings that she got out of.

“If that’s okay? I don’t want to be irritating…” She checked, one of the traits that she got from you which is the feeling of being irritating and asking for too much.

Smiling gently at her, “you’re not being irritating, love. I want you to feel comfortable in what you wear, especially with gymnastics. Come on, lets find your father and sister.”

Walking out of the dressing room you were met with your husband who was giving you a nervous smile.

“Where’s Maggie?” You asked, praying to God he did not lose her once again.

“You know how much I love you and much I cherish life, right?”

“You better find her in five minutes or you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”

Namjoon:

Taking a child and a man child shopping was not the greatest idea you ever had.

Your boyfriend is perfect! You can agree to that. But the one thing that the two of you can agree on is how destructive he is. You remember the first time when he met your parents, he broke your mothers’ sister’s funerary urn.

That was not a good meeting because Namjoon broke out crying and panicking while your mother broke out into a heavy cry whereas your dad was trying to figure out what happened.

It was a very interesting meeting.

But the reason why you are nervous with this shopping trip with your family is because you are shopping for jewelry – something that Namjoon is also known for destroying. You can admit though that he is doing good so far because he is watching your guys daughter, Jessie. The pretty silver and gold began to take your attention from your husband and daughter away, causing you to not realize that Namjoon is now looking with Jessie and touching some of the displays. The sound of glass breaking and a scared, but all too familiar gasp had you turning towards your husband with a glare.

Giving you a nervous smile, Namjoon rubbed the back of his neck. “Oops?”

Jimin:

Having a husband that is a dance and a daughter wanting to take after him, both you and Jimin wanted to get her a ‘starting kit,’ – which consisted of new dance clothes, a duffle bag, water bottle and the whole shebang. When the first dance class ended, your daughter raced out to the car where you and Jimin sat talking, crying her eyes out about being bullied by the girls in the class because she did not have pink, or Victoria secret, or in their terms ‘name brand’ stuff.

Pulling a few strings, Jimin found out that those girls were best friends and were going to be at the mall shopping since it was the leader of the group’s birthday. Wanting to go along with his plan, the three of you, along with her uncles, you guys decided to have a ‘fun day’ at the mall. Jungkook and Taehyung were distracting her before she panicked by jumping into Taehyung’s arms to hide herself from the girls.

Jimin gave you smirk before walking into Gucci to get the clothes that he wanted to spoil his daughter with. As he walked out, he made sure to get the group of girl’s attentions by calling out her name, shaking the bags that held the clothes in. With wide eyes, Makenzie jumped out of Taehyung’s arms, running up to her dad with a wide grin, forgetting about the group of girls who were starting at her in shock.

“Dad!” She yelled happily, “What is this?”

“This is for you, princess. Now you’ll be able to look in style for your next dance class!” He announced happily, a little louder than usual so the girls to hear.

At the next dance class, the girls did not once bother your daughter.

Taehyung:

Being with someone who is very into fashion is interesting because you, yourself, are not that into it. Preferring Under Armor shorts and your boyfriend’s hoodie than wearing Gucci or Puma always made you unique in your boyfriends’ eyes. After being together for almost fifteen years while having a five-year-old child, Ski, you kept with the same style.

But Taehyung wants to change something for just a day.

Having an Instagram page for your guys little family, he wanted to have a photoshoot while you three are out an about. But the twist is, is that you have to be wearing something fashionable, something that you despise. After several attempts of persuading you, you finally caved in and decided to do it.

The sounds of whispers coming from your peers has your anxiety skyrocketing because you feel out of your place. Noticing it, Taehyung nudges your daughter, who is in love with this whole day out, he gets her attention.

“Tell Mommy how beautiful she is, she is looking upset.”

Nodding her head happily, Ski bounces towards you, causing you to smile. “Hi sweetheart, how are you feeling?”

Tugging your hand, wanting to crouch down to her level, she pulls you closer to her. “You look beautiful, momma!”

Eyes watering, you picked her up, accidentally nudging Taehyung, you hugged her tightly to you. Joining the hug, Taehyung pulled the both of you into his chest, kissing the tops of your guys heads.

Jungkook:

“Why must we wear black?” You asked your husband, pushing the stroller that had your sleeping son, AJ, in it who was also wearing all black.

Looking at you with wide eyes, hand on chest taking offence to your question, Jungkook gasped. “Because black is in style! And we look fancy!”

Shaking your head, “We look emo as fuck.”

Smirking, “Are you having flashbacks of your emo stage, baby?”

Glaring at him, “you better keep your mouth shut or you’re on baby duty tonight.”

Rolling his eyes, he ushered you into the Louis Vuitton store, taking the stroller from you so you could take a break from it. As the both you and Jungkook were searching the shelves, the sounds of uneasiness started to come from AJ, alerting the two of you. Putting the jacket back on the hangers, Jungkook took AJ out of the stroller, picking him up and bouncing him up and down lightly to try and get him back to sleep.

It happened all too fast; one moment Jungkooks black leather jacket was all black, and the next it had the breakfast you fed AJ this morning, decorating it.

Not knowing what to say, you cautiously took AJ out of his dad’s hands, trying to not break out laughing from the look of disgust on his face.

“Huh, maybe the color black isn’t that bad after all.”

[incoherentbabblings]

What are your favourite comics anyway?

Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay. Full disclaimer. We’re going for what comics I re-read over and over again. Are these comics...good? Eh. Are they bad? No, I don’t think so. Some were meh to wow! when first released that time has either been kinder or harsher to, but I don’t think I have a series or a run or a title which is I like which is like... hot guilty garbage. Though, of course, feel free to disagree. There are some authors on here which people will not want to touch with a barge pole, and I totally understand and encourage not touching them if you don’t want to.

Having said that, here are my favourite popcorn comics (largely Titans and Batfam because I am... basic): 

The Flash (2016) issues 39-45 + Annual #1

Having said that, Flash time first. People think Williamson is a real hit or miss writer and I do agree, but I think this whole arc is one big hit. It’s frantic in its energy, I love Gorilla Grodd as a villain, I love the modern Flashfam trying to help, I love how Wally coming in to help totally turns the tide and the mood. I love how everyone looks at Wally like… this guys is powerful, more powerful than any other speedster… but also noting there’s something very fragile about him. I didn’t include Flash War in this because I’m still waiting for the payoff for that angst regarding Wally, but this arc… mwah. Wallace Rudolph West being vindicated as the greatest Flash (whilst allowing Barry to be flawed and to lead his family)? Yes please. Also I love Carmine’s art. I gather it’s hit and miss for some folk but I love the line work. Also Carlos D’Anda’s issue (come baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack draw Dick and Roy again your work has gotten so much cuter this past decade) is a beauty too. Big ol’ eyes.

 (Under the cut ‘cause this is LONG)

Batman Dark Victory

One of two Loeb stories for me. And yeah sure Long Halloween is objectively better but…jelly bean

Also, angry traumatised Dick smacking a dying man with a stick. What a legend.

Gates of Gotham

Cass! Damian! Dick!Bats! Tim! A mystery villain! World building for Gotham! Stuff exploding! Batfam banter! Trevor McCarthy art! This bizarre panel of Jim Gordon holding Tim’s hand like he’s checking the time?

It’s one of the last ‘pure’ Batman stories before the reboot – Bat Inc aside – so it’s how I like to read the Batfam’s relationship by the end of that universe. Everyone’s a lot more content, proud Dad Bruce, happy and settled Dick and Damian, Cassandra returning home, Tim chopping off the emo hair… it’s all good.

Grayson (particularly #5)

I know why people can’t stand it. The circumstances leading up to it are bog awful. Opinions on Tom King’s writing has only grown more spliced with time. The (sex) jokes are too on the nose and hit too close to home for many. The cheesecake art is too stilted for some. But! Issue #5 is my favourite single issue story. Ever. You never have thought boxes in this series, because everyone is lying, but you aren’t told when. You never know how genuine Dick is being at any given moment, until it is just him and the baby. I love how single-minded it allows him to be. I love how he flat out lies and manipulates to protect that little girl, whilst also caring for Helena. About how seriously he takes his job of protecting Bruce and his family (and that’s why he’s even doing the stupid spy thing in the first place). And maaaaybe it’s unrealistic that Dick could outlast Midnighter crossing the desert, but screw it. Bruce can be better than metahumans all the time. Let Dick get an issue to be so to. Saving a little girl who is probably going to grow up to be akin to Superwoman. Just because he’s given himself that responsibility. He’s going to double cross twenty groups at the same time and come out clean as a whistle. And he’ll cross a desert with a newborn to do it.

Light of my fricking life.

Infinite Crisis

I…I like that things go boom. John’s is very good for that. Also, the Nightwing and Batman moments howowheheheheheheeeeeeee. Almost wish Bruce had shot Alexander. I wonder what would have happened?

(Brief side note: Graphic Audio’s adaptation of this is great fun. I dropped a bowl of cereal at the part of Superboy Prime versus the Titans. Cassie’s scream when Pantha’s head got punched off was a bit…intense. The No Man’s Land one is very good too if you have cash to burn - the voice actors are the same in both and Nightwing’s voice actor has this lisp and I don’t know man... I love it. He’s now the voice in my head for Dick).

Titans/JLA and The Titans (1999) issues 1-25

The Titans are now known I think for not being a very proactive hero group. Books struggle with balancing team dynamics versus plot, and this one is no exception. I know people don’t want to touch Devin Grayson’s stuff with a barge pole. My justification for this is flimsy I accept that, however, the JLA/Titans comic was the very first comic I read when I was like six or seven. I was rummaging through my brother’s room as a nosy kid does and this was at the top of his pile. Thank god for the little info boxes as each Titan was captured/referenced. I fell in love with Kory, I fell in love with Dick, I fell in love with Donna (oh Donna…) and then I tumbled down a hole and pretended I hadn’t until about six years ago. So that’s nice. So yes, this one is one hundred percent nostalgia based. 

But honestly, Linkara did a retrospective on this event comic and series years ago, and his reasons for loving it are the same as mine really, so go watch those if you have like five hours to kill. When Devin leaves the comic remains strong for just a moment then... absolutely plummets off a cliff. So I really wouldn’t bother with the second half of the series but hey. You do you.

Teen Titans/Outsiders: The Insiders

More Geoff John’s explosions. My first comic that got bought for me. My brother walked in to the shop and said: “I need a comic for my sister where Starfire gets a good showing” and the men went… ah yes.

Eleven-year old me was like EXPLOSIONSSSSS but also was intrigued by Kory and Dick’s bedtime convos (perhaps…I was a bit under the age bracket for this book - Kory gets a good showing huh?) but uh. Anyway. Also this is when I was thoroughly enamoured with Roy. This crossover is typical Winnick and John’s angsty angst with overly poetic narration and tropey tropes which, combined with what came before and what was to come for the Outsiders, can make both series such a slog to get through, but in isolation, I think it’s a real fun crossover which gave everyone a bit of time to shine and some real fan-ficcy moments (very self-indulgent, and I love that in a comic).

Teen Titans: Year One

I love Amy Wolfram and I love Karl Kerschel. It’s a good intro to those five characters with cute stories. Does exactly what it says on the tin. Batman is demonstrably a major prick in this, even after de-brainwashing, so it’s obviously going with the ‘Dick is only half as functioning as he is thanks to Roy, Wally, Garth and Donna’, which I can get behind 100% depending on what story they are trying to tell, but it’s just… it’s still sad to read. I just think the art is brilliant at giving each of the five very clear characteristics just from their body language, and you know immediately what each character dynamic is like with another.

Batman Hush

The other Loeb story. Again, it has what I like in a Batman story. A mystery, the family, appearances of villains, flashbacks and brooding, fighting, Jim Lee’s Nightwing being hunky… Ahem. It’s a fun read I think. Also, I really like Loeb’s Bruce? I don’t think people talk about it much. But he’s really chatty in his own head. And he’s witty and dry and funny. I like that! Also, Babs is such a backbone of this story. I adore that. She’s treated well here, I think.

Black Mirror

I flipping love this arc. I love it. I love the two contrasting but deeply disturbing in different manner art styles, I love the mystery, I love Babs role in the story, I love Tim’s little appearances and the banter with Dick, I love the weird villains and the terrifying ones, and how you think one is one of the two only to be revealed to be the other or both. I love Dick’s investigation and how he goes about it differently to Bruce. I love Dick’s relationship with Jim, I love the flipping reference to the vultures and owls seemingly following Dick (a whole reboot before Snyder got to tell that story), I love the monologue about how James thinks Dick is weird and weak for his compassion and love, when really that’s his greatest strength, I love Jim wanting so hard to believe James is trying against Babs’s cynicism, but also does try to get an unbiased opinion of someone who is proven good at reading people (Dick) and does what he needs to when his son is actively harming people, I love that ambiguous ending and the questionable science, I even love the Joker’s one (1) scene with Dick. I love this line,

I love Snyder at his best. When he’s good…mwah. Great.

…And yeah. That’s my story.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry? Yes. I took this adulthood and aging psychology class and I forget what it was exactly the documentary we had to watch was about, but I remember being on the verge of tears because it reminded me of my grandpa who passed away. 

What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about? Uhh, I don’t know? Just whenever I fall asleep.

What is you favorite type of lunch meat? Turkey, salami, and bologna.

What time of the year do you dislike the most? Summertime. 

Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs? Ew, no. 

What is your favorite color to wear? Black.

Are you an overachiever? No. Especially not these past few years where I haven’t done anything at all and put like no effort into anything. :/ At least when I was in school and things were better than how they’ve been the past few years I was productive in school and put effort into things and into myself. I’ve just given up. 

What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? Perfect teeth.

What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'Hara) would you marry? Uh, I definitely don’t want to marry Bambi... anyway, I’d say one of the characters Alexander Skarsgard has played.

How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)? I don’t know, a couple weeks or so.

Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry? Ha, yeah, when I was like 16 during my emo days. They’re so cringe.

What is your favorite thing about your life? My family.

Have you ever painted a picture of somebody? No.

How many real bfs/gfs have you had? I honestly haven’t had a real, serious relationship.

Did you enjoy your past relationships? With Joseph I did.

Name a comedy that you like. Bridesmaids.

Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah, but I don’t plan on getting married.

What’s the best Nirvana song? Lithium.

What was the last thing that impressed you? Hmm. I don’t recall.

When was the last time you were in a pet store? It’s been awhile.

What nationality is your last name? Irish, I think.

What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip? Wavy Lay’s chips with ranch and French onion dip.

Who was the last boy that you saw cry? My brother.

Does your mom know you do surveys? I don’t think so.

Have you ever had a serious injury? Yeah, the one that made me a paraplegic.

What was the last thing you achieved? Uhhh.

Would you enjoy being famous? I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be famous.

What’s under your bed? Some medical supplies.

Do you enjoy travelling? Yes.

Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? I was in a couple clubs in high school and the psych club in community college.

When was the last time you drank strawberry milk? It’s been a very long time.

Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set? Hmm, I don’t recall. I might have.

Do you have a clock in your room? Yes, apart from the ones on my laptop, TV and phone, I have an actual wall clock as well.

Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher? I didn’t take driver’s ed.

Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite? Hmm. Probably Toxic, Slave 4 U, Boys, and Lucky.

Does mind over matter work for you? Sometimes.

Are you paranoid? I definitely can be.

What is the best thing about winter? Christmastime and the weather. I love that time of year.

Have you ever been truly in love? I think so.

Are you currently planning a trip? No, I wish.

How many plants are in your home? Zero.

What is your favorite possession? All my stuff.

Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked? Yeah. I’ve been used and taken advantage of back in the day for being too nice.

What movies have tripped you out? There’s been a few.

Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade? No.

Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night? I’d like to say no, but I allowed Joseph to use and play me for 3 years, so. I knew deep down he didn’t feel the same way as I did and he didn’t want to be in a committed relationship with me, but I didn’t want to admit it. I liked the attention and the good times we had and I didn’t want to give that up. I would hope that now that I’m older and have experienced that I wouldn’t allow it to happen again. And yes, I had a friend who put up with a whole lot worse for that reason.

Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that. I don’t want that floating around or existing at all out there.

Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? No.

What summertime treats do you love? Milkshakes and ice cream.

How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I mean, I have to be interested in the person and feel comfortable doing so.

What do you hate most about moving? The packing and unloading.

Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? I wouldn’t know.

Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks? Just the Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink.

Has anyone ever whistled at you? Not that I know of.

Do you like scarves? No. I don’t like things around my neck like that, it drives me nuts.

Is your father homophobic? No.

Do you take gummy vitamins? No. I don’t take vitamins at all, currently, although I really should.

Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all? No.

Who would you like to meet before you die? I mean, I certainly wouldn’t mind meeting Alexander Skarsgard.

If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? I don’t feel comfortable being nude when I’m just by myself, I certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so publicly. Absolutely not.

What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? There’s been a lot, but of course I’m blanking at the moment. Most are pretty crazy, though.

If Heaven and Hell exists, where are you going when you die? I hope that  go to heaven.

Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else? My loved ones. 

What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday? Ugh, seems like just about anything can. I’m so irritable and moody all the time.

Is there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy? Yeah, me.

Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself? I loved Decode and Super Massive Blackhole. 

How old was the first person you kissed? He was 15 and I was 16.

Will you be a strict parent one day? I don’t want to have kids.

Last person to stand up for you? I don’t recall the last time I needed to be stood up for.

Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah, I’ve been to a few.

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My mom and brother to see Candyman.

What’s your favorite high school memory? I liked the rallies and some of the assemblies.

Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single? Being single is best for me.

What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? I don’t know. I’m such a scardy cat.

What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Math.

Italian food or Chinese food? Italian.

Do you like to make flash cards when you study? That wasn’t my usual study method, no. I preferred taking notes.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? Ha, uh no.

Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? I only watched those when they were shown in some of my college classes or was assigned to for homework. I’ve never watched any on my own.

I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. I don’t feel that way about anyone.

What do you think about Marilyn Manson? I have nothing to say about him tbh. <<<

Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? I didn’t get into trouble.

Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras? No.

Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? I don’t care.

Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? Yeah, I got all 4.

Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? No.

Jalapeños: yay or nay? I loved jalapenos back when I could eat spicy food. Jalapeno poppers were bomb.

Did you ever play Minecraft? No.

Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? Yeah.

Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense? Ha, yeah. 

What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? I’m the victim of gun violence that made me a paraplegic at just 7 months old.

What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people and sick, perverted assholes.

If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it? There’s a lot I’d like to change. 

Describe your first relationship? It wasn’t much of one but we had the title, ha. It also only lasted a few months.

Describe your last relationship? He used and played me and then kicked me to the curb when he was done.

Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? I’m a virgin, but I absolutely would practice safe sex. That’s very important. 

Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? You just really feel, connect, and relate to certain things, like the characters and/or plot line and it has some kind of effect on you.

What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? Hopefully something good.

Do you feel protective over someone? My loved ones.

What perfume/cologne do you wear? I’ve been wearing this beachy scented body spray. I need to get a new one for fall.

Where did your vehicle come from? I don’t have my own car, I don’t drive.

What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? I’m totally blanking.

What is your favorite way to eat chicken? Boneless chicken wings and chicken tenders.

It is your birthday. You hope the cake is: White with buttercream frosting.

What do you wear to bed? What I wear during the day, which is either lounge shorts or leggings and an oversized tee or t-shirt dress.

What were you doing at 8pm last night? I was eating dinner and watching Gilmore Girls.

[figure-skating-watch-party]

Russian jr. test skates - ice dance

I watched only ice dance... and while ladies and men were broadcasted on the official Channel 1 with proper camera work and sound, ice dance was streamed on a semi-official channel with poor camera work... And yeah, maybe it’s one of the reasons why I generally wasn’t very excited about the RDs. But I liked most of the FDs so it’s not that bad ;)  

I’d take all the music listed with a grain of salt (or two) it’s what my phone told me after listening to the music ;)

1. Elizaveta Shichina/Gordei Khubulov – Come get in bae / Yellow moon The first “Russian” blues. I wasn’t that excited (but that’s because I would much prefer waltz or tango as the pattern dance), however they were in synch and had a good lift in the RD.  Now that we are talking about a dance! The FD has a spirit from the beginning, nice emo feel, not everything worked out but they really have interesting lifts. 

2. Taisia Linchevskaya/Timur Babaev Smirnov – Fire / Don Quijote Ok, now I can calm down. I’ll find a way to like the RD after all. This one was great, energetic beginning, some mistakes but so cool and free. I like it. YESSSS to the FD. That was so lively. Curve lift in sitting position, I love. Also, that pause in the middle of the dance which confuses half of the spectators and they think it’s the end, basically the pause ala Stepanova/Bukin? Yes, we love hehe.

3. Alisa Ovsiankina/Matvei Samokhin – Q & A / Michael Jackson My babies are growing up so fast and they are so much fun to watch! They have such nice lines, at the beginning they had some troubles with the twizzles but at the end they go full out. Also, Matvei has a costume with a hood and at one point he puts in on his head and I just love it! Really, they show so much personality, even in the FD. Again, there were some difficulties with twizzles and Alisa skating under Matvei’s legs but the Michael Jackson character sequence is everything.

4. Margarita Svistunova/Dmitrii Studenikin – I feel like drowning / Iduna This RD is kinda standard, for me doesn’t stand out so far, thought the hip hop parts are fun. And as is the usual pattern, I really liked the FD! Drama, emotional, wistful feel, expressive and great lifts.

5. Olga Mamchenkova/Mark Volkov – Broken people / Für Elise This was a good RD, fun step sequence, good rotational lift.  I also liked the FD, everything is there, even drama (maybe too much). 

6. Irina Khavronina/Dario Cirisano – Babylon Berlin / La cumparsita I like the music for the RD, it’s gradually picking up tempo to a great finish.  In the FD they are them; wild, sharp, modern, awesome. Towards the end it gets a bit weird but they’d sell anything. 

7. Sofia Kachushkina/Oleg Muratov – Royals by Lorde / Clubbed to Death Here I think that they really show two very different programs which is always a plus. They are also growing up so fast. The RD is niiice, interesting lift, good choreography. 

8. Anna Rumak/Gleb Goncharov – Stop it Johnny / Casino, Tango noir They are just so fresh and fun. The RD wasn’t perfect, Anna fell and it also felt a bit too quick but they are showmen and I think it will be such a great program.  I LOVED the FD. I know it’s totally subjective, but I do see a bit of Cappellini/Lanotte feel in them. The FD is so cute. They are the best storytellers there, for sure. 

9. Vasilisa Kaganovskaia/Valeriy Angelopol – In the end by Linkin Park / Ave Maria Yes! There was a fall but also nice extensions and they perform and show some emotions. That’s a real rhythm dance! The FD is such a good choice for them. They can do it, they can deliver a mature performance even though they are in juniors. Such a smooth and effortless skating. 

10. Sofia Tyutyunina/Alexander Shustitskiy – Do I wanna know? / Babe I’m gonna leave you They are so taaaallll, so suddenly?! Smooth skating, quite interesting moves and choreo in the RD. I don’t know, so far I have no opinion about the FD, I didn’t feel anything so far. (But I really like them so I think it will change with time!)

11. Sofia Leonteva/Daniil Gorelkin – Stay with me / Prelude to caravan They seemed a bit slower to me but I liked the blues pattern dance part. 

12. Ekaterina Rybakova/Ivan Makhnonosov – Meant / Samson and Dalila Good RD, really good. Great twizzles at the beginning, wild moves I like it! The FD is also nice. They have interesting lifts there. I like the lifts when the lady is almost standing, the man is just holding her above the ground and spinning. 

I’m looking forward to seeing as many ice dancers as possible at JGP. (Really hoping it works out somehow because Russia can’t send skaters to the first two JGPs in Courcheval in France, because France is enforcing a 10-day quarantine for people travelling from Russia...)

[litwitlady]

whatever walked there, walked alone - part one

My Halloween fic which I love writing too much to abandon. Content warnings: mentions of child abuse, Alex is dead and not coming back to life, blood, emo poetry.

Michael Guerin exits the city limits and heads west. The sun is beginning to set, framing the mountains in flames of orange and red, painting the sky in purples and pinks. His phone GPS says the house is 13.3 miles from Roswell city center. A scant ten-minute drive.

A few miles later, the ironwork of the property’s fence comes into view. The house is hidden behind several large hawthorn and plum trees, creating a dense canopy that protects the mansion from the blazing desert sun.

Michael parks outside the gate and pulls a bolt cutter from the bed of his truck. The ornate ironwork is buried in English ivy. He clears the vines away and breaks through the chains locking the gate doors, swinging them open. They creak and moan as the rusty hinges strain after years of disuse.

It’s like walking into a dream. Or a nightmare. Another planet, maybe. The desert disappears and suddenly there’s thick grass beneath his boots. Flowers bloom despite the heavy tree coverage and everything green is overgrown. But the house is finally visible – the cornices crumbling, the menacing marble lions shrouded in yellowing moss.

A breeze rustles through the leaves, sending a shiver up Michael’s spine. He feels eyes on the back of his head and spins on his heels. A cat hops out of a maple tree, sending several birds flying from their perches. Michael laughs to himself and turns back towards the house.

Dead, drying leaves are scattered across the stone steps. The giant wood doors are also locked with chains. Michael makes quick work of them and pushes against the splinted oak. But the doors won’t budge. The moisture and heat have warped the wood. So, no matter how hard he pushes, there’s no give. With a sigh he climbs back down the stairs. Vows to come back the next day with the necessary tools.

And maybe not alone.

But as his boots sink back into the grass, he hears the doors open. A thick, musty scent settles in around him. When he glances over his shoulder, the doors are gaping at him like a hungry mouth ready to swallow him whole. The cat dashes past him, through the doors, and he swears he hears his name whispered from somewhere deep inside.

He swallows hard and pulls out his cell phone. But there’s no reception. If he’s being honest, he doesn’t want to go inside. Definitely not by himself. Wants, instead, to head back to Isobel’s and crawl inside his warm bed. Wants to forget this dilapidated old house even exists.

Michael takes several deep breaths, reclimbs the stairs. And then he forces himself to cross the threshold into the darkness.

The foyer floors are filthy. Covered in muck and grime, the black and white checkered marble barely visible. Spiderwebs crisscross from surface to surface, collecting dust and other debris he’d rather not think too much about. The windows are all curtained with heavy, velvet drapes – allowing no light to pass.

Michael runs his fingers along a gilded mirror, eyes catching on a group of picture frames still hanging from the garish floral wallpaper. He leans forward, blowing the dust from the glass. Sneezes several times. The photos show a family. Father, mother, and four boys – the youngest just a baby. In most of the pictures, the father is dressed in full military regalia. His wife pretty and unsmiling. The children with hands in pockets, devoid of that devilish charm so common to young boys.

He begins to notice a pattern as he follows the frames down the hallway. Three of the boys start to grow up – getting taller, shoulders broadening. But the youngest never grows past eight, maybe nine years old. Michael feels a sadness clutch at his heart. Wonders what happened to the little boy. Suspects it’s nothing good. And likely the reason the house has been left to rot for so long.

The cat reappears out of a hall closet. Michael startles and watches him dash towards the curving staircase, bounding up the stairs. He looks back at the front doors, making sure they are still open. The sunlight is entirely gone now. He pulls out his phone and clicks on the flashlight app. Continues further into the belly of the house.

In the kitchen, he finds the cabinet doors all removed – probably stolen by some house foraging flipper – but the bowls and plates left behind. An eight-burner stove takes up a third of the room. The gigantic commercial refrigerator another third. There are two center islands and clearly the kitchen was for catering lavish parties. Michael is unimpressed by the cold austerity of the space and is already mentally remodeling.

He putters through the cabinets and stumbles upon a collection of toddler-sized sippy cups. There are four – each with a boy’s name painted across the top. Clay, Gregory, Flint, and Alex. He reaches up and pulls the one labeled ‘Alex’ from the shelf. The cup is cracked and chipped around the rim. The tiny hairs on the back of his neck shiver, sending another chill down Michael’s spine. He drops the cup onto the floor, the crash echoing down the hallway.

Upstairs the cat screeches.

Michael hears his name whispered again.

And then the doors slam shut.

***

‘The house is haunted, Iz.’ They are at the grocery store, restocking for the week ahead.

She rolls her eyes at him while grabbing more cereal. ‘There’s no such thing as ghosts, Michael. It was just the wind.’

He stares back at her like she’s stupid. ‘There’s no such thing as aliens either. And there was no fucking wind.’

Isobel, hands on hips, stops mid-aisle. ‘The place is a gothic nightmare. It got in your head and freaked you out. The sooner you sell that place the better.’

Intellectually, Michael knows she must be right. But he can’t ignore doors closing on their own and floating voices calling his name.

‘Do you know what happened to the original family? I think their name was Manes?’ He’d pulled the old deed. There wasn’t much to go on other than the name Jesse Manes. ‘I don’t remember them from when we were kids.’

She grabs a bag of rice. ‘Jesse Manes was a General in the Air Force. Served as Chief of Staff to the entire USAF when we were in high school. Really big deal. His kids all went to some military academy on the east coast.’

‘Was? Is he dead?’ He sneaks two boxes of pop-tarts into the cart.

‘Not that I know of. He was dishonorably discharged. Not too long after his youngest son died. Something about an extortion scandal.’ Isobel shrugs her shoulders and turns onto the next aisle.

‘His youngest son? The little boy – Alex.’

She narrows her eyes at him. ‘Alex Manes. Yes. But he was 28 when he died. Killed overseas. Maybe he’s your ghost.’

‘Wait – that doesn’t make sense. That house looks like it’s been abandoned for at least a decade.’ He tries to do the math in his head. Three years might lead to some broken windows and cobwebs, but not the level of decay he’d discovered. The grime on the floors alone would have taken at least twice as long. And the bannister was literally rotting.

‘Don’t know what to tell you. Happened three years ago. I was working with the General on a military fundraising event. And then, poof! He was just gone. Nothing left behind but newspaper gossip. And that house.’ She looks down at her shopping list. ‘I’m going to grab some milk – meet you at checkout.’ She gives a little wave and rolls off.

Michael leans against the row of shelves. Thinks about what Isobel’s told him. He doesn’t know why Edna May Rollings bequeathed the property to him in her will. Or all that money. Sure, he’d mowed her grass a few times – changed her oil. But the Manes property was worth well over a million dollars.

Nothing was making any sense.

*

Later that afternoon, Michael decides to do his own research at the town library. He pulls up article after article from the Roswell Gazette highlighting the many philanthropic endeavors of the Manes family. Jesse Manes often lauded as a hero. His sons all highly decorated military officers themselves.

In all the articles, he only finds mention of an Alex Manes once. In his obituary dated October 14, 2018. The paper mentions he’d been killed by IED while serving in Iraq. There’s a grainy, black and white photo above the obit. Captain Alexander Manes in his uniform, blank expression on his face. And it’s a good face – cheekbones for days, expressive eyes, and a full bottom lip. Michael stops for a minute to admire the handsome soldier and to lament his early demise.

He pulls out his notebook and writes down the names mentioned in the obituary. All of the survivors – mother, father, brothers, distant relatives. Surely, one of them lives within driving distance. If not, there’s always the phone or email. He intends to find some answers.

Michael leaves the library and drives to the Roswell cemetery. The plots are arranged alphabetically, for the most part. And he finds the Manes family relatively easily. Alex’s tombstone is the white marble of fallen soldiers. But there’s no inscription beyond his name or the relevant dates of birth and death. It’s odd not to see a ‘beloved son’ or ‘cherished brother’. He’s beginning to suspect the Manes family buried more than just their son three years ago.

*

The next day Michael heads back to the house. But this time he’s not alone. He’s accompanied by an entire cleaning crew and Isobel. Who merely intends to rifle through the family’s forgotten belongings and steal whatever trinkets catch her eye. And to tease him mercilessly about his ghost.

Michael does his best to avoid everyone. He has his own mission in mind and doesn’t want to be disturbed. The upstairs hallway leads to all the main bedrooms – master on the left and the four smaller rooms on the right. Each of the secondary bedrooms is nearly identical in shape and size. Except for last room – tiny and dark. A single bed compared to the doubles next door. He knows deep in his bones that this was Alex’s room.

A terrific sadness envelops him when he steps inside. He tries to flip the light switch, but nothing happens – the only light whatever sun fights its way through the dirty window.

Michael starts there – wiping the glass clean. He sweeps and mops the floor, dusts the baseboards, and removes the cobwebs. Opening the closet door, he finds a torn cardboard box tucked inside. Pulling back the battered flaps, he discovers several yellowing journals. Pages and pages of scribbled notes and poems and the various ramblings of a teenage boy. He takes the journals to his truck immediately, stashing them beneath his seat.

As the day stretches into night, there’s no sign of any ghosts. No weird noises. No strange whispers. Isobel has taken every mirror in the house among several crystal dishes. Most of the rooms are as spotless as they’re going to get, the smell of bleach giving him a headache. But the place is starting to feel less creepy.

After everyone else leaves, Michael takes one more trip up to Alex’s bedroom. Sits in the middle of the room and waits. For what, he’s not sure. A presence maybe. Which he knows is insane, but something or someone called his name the day before.

The sun is nearly gone. The room is dark and still. That sadness from earlier still pushes at him, but he doesn’t feel afraid. Oddly enough, he feels safe and warm. And then the floor creaks. Not just once. Over and over again. Like someone’s pacing from the window to the bed and back again.

‘Hello?’ His voice sounds scratchy, dry and nervous.

The footsteps stop. Michael’s breath catches as he strains to listen. ‘Alex? Alexander Manes?’ Something blows across the back of his neck. He swallows but stays still.

‘I’m going to bring your journals back. I promise.’ Making a ghost angry is probably a bad idea. ‘I just wanted to get to know you better.’

Nothing happens. And he feels a sinking sense of loss.

*

At Isobel’s later that night, Michael is curled up in his bed staring at Alex’s journals. He’s anxious about reading them. Worries that what he’ll discover is worse than anything he could have ever imagined. Worries that he’ll meet someone in these journals that he’ll come to love. Someone that he’s already lost.

The first journal is marked 2003. It’s plain black with a Further Seems Forever sticker peeling along the spine. Opening to the first page, Michael is struck by how neat the handwriting is. His own is nothing but chicken scratch. But this kid wrote in neat, tidy letters – not a smudge in sight.

July 2003

Today I am a teenager. And I missed mom for the first time in forever. I came home and dad was drinking. Started yelling at me to put his ladder back where I’d found it. But I never, ever touched his stupid ladder. That was Flint. He didn’t care. And now my ribs hurt. Happy Birthday, Alex.

I’ve only been home for two weeks, but I already want to go back to school.

Michael’s fists clench but he continues.

August 2003

Flint got his learner’s permit today. Dad is teaching him how to drive stick. Will probably even buy him a car to take back to school. I fucking hate Flint.

I wrote a poem or maybe a song that I actually like. Here it is:

‘The hallways are empty

And I am blind

Locked in this castle

Where no one is kind’

I know that’s not much. But it’s a start. Been saving up for my guitar. Greg is going to buy it for me once I have enough money.

September 2003

It’s because I’m gay. Why he beats me and no one else. I will try so hard not to be gay anymore.

Tears burn Michael’s eyes. He picks up another journal. This one gray with lots of cartoon doodles marring the cloth cover.

September 2007

Senior year has begun. The Academy finally feels bearable. No upperclassmen to avoid. My fucking dad has me flying out this weekend to interview at the Air Force Academy in Colorado. Fourth son, fourth branch of the military. None of us got a choice, but of course he saved the Air Force for me. Of fucking course.

I snuck out with Maria last week to sing at an open mic night at her mom’s bar. I’ve never felt like that before – enjoying all those eyes on me. Most times I just want to disappear. Forget I exist. There was a guy – curly hair, big hazel eyes. He was beautiful and I worked up enough to courage to talk to him, but he wouldn’t stop staring at Maria. So.

I guess someone at the Pony must have known my dad. Because he was waiting up for me when I crawled back through my bedroom window. I didn’t beg this time. Just let him do what he was going to do. Honestly, I felt like I deserved it. For thinking that guy might actually want to talk to me.

Michael stops breathing. He tries to recall a night at the Pony from fourteen years ago. But he can’t remember ever meeting Alex. He had dated Maria, briefly. Maybe it wasn’t him – maybe he wasn’t the curly-haired, hazel-eyed boy. But the possibility lingers thick in his chest.

December 2007

I’m not going home for Christmas. Even though mom has agreed to show up for appearance’s sake. A perfect fake fucking family. I won’t be missed. Dad laughed when I called and told him. Called me a coward and hung up. He won’t have his favorite punching bag and I hope that means he won’t turn his fists to someone else. Like mom.

Things with Danny haven’t progressed at all. I thought he was flirting with me at the football game, but he hasn’t talked to me since. He’s shy though – kind of like me – so I think I may still have a chance. He’s not going home either – his parents are overseas on some mission trip. Maybe I will be brave enough to kiss him. I’ve never kissed anyone and I’m already 17. Pathetic.

January 2008

Sometimes I look up at the stars

And your eyes look back at me

Filled with the fire of an exploding sun

Sometimes I look up at the stars

And there’s nothing there at all

Just empty space, hollow and undone

So, Danny is dating a townie girl. I’m always so, so stupid. But I’m not giving up on myself no matter how hard this world tries to beat me down. And it’s trying pretty damn hard.

March 2008

Dear Alex,

you are blue and black and yellow

bent and bowed like the dying myrtle tree outside that window

your pliant plentiful petals putrefying in the blades of summer grass

you are unseen and forgotten, disgraced by the midday sun

blown apart like the dandelion waste of suburban landscapes

wilted and wallowed and left without a trace of your own dignity

June 2008

My father’s hands have spent so much time taking. Splitting me open and unthreading the blood, the sweat, the tears of me. Spilling my insides and then stuffing the gore back deep in the darkest recesses of my heart.

I want hands that will take but give something back, leave something behind. Hands that will heal and stitch the splintered parts back together. Hands that will shape the dark edges of me into something bright like hope. I want hands with wings to fly me out of this nightmare.

But instead I’m going to war.

After Alex graduates the military academy, there are no more journals until 2017. Michael spends the next several hours poring over the earlier ones – meticulously kept records of a broken childhood. One abuse after another. Cracked ribs, a shattered wrist, and a never-ending deluge of bruises.

But also, so many dreams. Alex was a hopeful kid, despite the sad poetry, with music in his future. There are pages and pages of songs – the scratching down of harmonies and verses. Intricate details of chord progressions and key changes. Michael grabs his own guitar, strums through some of Alex’s notes. The songs are simple but refined. He wishes he could hear them sung with Alex’s voice.

The 2017 journal stares at Michael from his nightstand. It’s dirty and pocket-sized, bent and beaten at the edges. Caked in blood. He opens to the first page. Alex is in Iraq – the place where he dies – and Michael’s not sure he wants to read further. But he also can’t stop himself.

November 2017

The desert here is different. Hotter, I think. I am always sweating and never clean.  

February 2018

There was a boy. In the carnage. Riddled with bullets. Bullets that may have been my own. I tried to feel something. I did, really. I tried.

March 2018

Only two more months. And then one war exchanged for another. Clay is getting married. I think I’d rather stay here.

The next several pages are stuck together with the dull, brown ink of dried blood. Michael can’t make out more than a word or two through the thick stains, but the entries seem longer and more rambling. The back half of the journal is empty – filled with nothing but blood splatter.

Michael pulls out his laptop. Something about the timeline feels off. Alex’s obit and his tombstone both marked his date of death as October 14, 2018. That’s months after this journal stopped. Months after whatever nightmare caused all this bleeding. He thinks briefly about calling Liz and asking her to ID whoever all this blood belonged to.

He googles ‘Alexander Manes Iraq death’ and nothing obvious pops up in the searches. But on the next page he sees a newspaper article from a Virginia paper, clicks it open. It’s from summer 2018 and includes a list of purple heart recipients. A Captain Alexander Manes among the names.

So, he made it home. Hurt but alive. Michael’s best guess is that he returned to Iraq before his death in October.

He runs several searches for Alex’s brothers. He gets a hit on a Gregory Manes. Local newspaper photo of him with several kids from a science fair. The school is near a reservation in the northwest corner of the state. He jots the information down but decides to start a little closer to home.

People in Roswell must know the Manes family. And so that’s where he’ll begin. Starting with local business owners. First thing in the morning.