#my dude wakes up with amnesia and has to walk around a place where everything's wet and people keep dying and the legal system

[en-chi-la-da]

I know it’s not a popular ship…

But Kurumi x Yuma with 1-C.

I wanna see her snuggle that tiny crush of hers xD

a comforting snuggle of sorts

[spaceorphanssecondbreakfastclub]

SO's Bookclub: The Other Side of Dark

Title: The Other Side of Dark Author: Joan Lowery Nixon Genre: YA Mystery

Goodreads Summary:

Stacy wakes up in a room that's not hers, in a body she doesn't recognize, to discover she's been in a coma for four years. Her mother is dead ‒ murdered ‒ and Stacy, recovering from a gunshot wound, is the only eyewitness to her mother's murder. She can recall only a shadowy face, so far. But the killer is not about to let her reveal his identity...

Review:

Not going to lie, I was dreading getting to this one. This may have been the first one I read - I remember, as a kid, really finding the hook intriguing. I also remembered it being much more about the drama of Stacy not remembering who she was over the mystery. I was surprised to find that the mystery does talk up about half the book, but still, my tastes of changed, and the premise is no longer something that would interest me.

In fact - everything about this screams Lifetime Movie of the Week. And honestly, I should give Lifetime a break - their movies seem like Oscar winners compared to this... Btw - this book did win a ton of awards. I have no idea why - the 80s clearly had different standards for YA fiction.

Anyway, this book feels like a Frankenstein monster of all of her other books. The main character, Stacy, reminds me way too much of the littler girl (Julie) from The Specter - minus, maybe, some of the sociopathic behavior. She's rightfully traumatized by being in a coma for four years, but she acts not like 13 but instead 9 or 10. She's also really obsessed with her mother's murderer - which makes sense, but his hatred of him is reminiscent of how Julie from The Specter was infatuated to a fault of the guy.

There's also the fact that someone's watching her - and out to get her, much like The Stalker and The Ghosts of Now. And the first half of the book takes place in the hospital, again, much like The Specter. The premise would be somewhat interesting in a much better book. But JLN really stuck to everything she had done before instead of trying something new.

Also - this book has some bonkers issues with reality. First, there's the whole idea that someone could be walking around doing physical therapy for four years and still be in a coma. Why not just give her amnesia? Then - there's the fact that a girl who is now 17 is still functioning like 13yo. Where are all the therapists? Why are they leaving her at home alone without any kind of care? Especially when she's a witness for a murder? And then there's everything associated with finding her mother's murderer -- that's treated so flippantly. Like, what is even going on?

The most egregious thing going on is the fact that her bff from middle school doesn't seem to care at all about Stacy's mental issues -- and is obsessed with make up and parties and is shallowly forcing Stacy into all of these things. Like, dude, get a grip, your friend has been traumatized. Also, while I wish there were more f/f friendships in these books (the heroines always end up confiding in their love interest) the girl friends in these books always end up either dumb or shallow or ignored entirely. I wish JLN would be able to write a proper friendship. C'mon!

I should also mention (as usual) there is a love interest. It's a little weird since she feels like she's 13 and the guy is 23. There's a bit of a twist that prevents it from being utterly creepy, but it's still strange and there some what for obligatory purposes of having a romance.

There are a few suspenseful moments in the novel, and the mystery of who the murderer is makes it at least semi-interesting. This isn't the worst of the worst, but I can't say I had a very enjoyable time reading it either.

Rating: 2 Stars

[j0hn-deacons-perm]

I’ve been reading Is This the Real Life: the Untold Story of Queen and some things in this...

-Brian and Roger got into it after a show one time and Roger just went in with hairspray in Bri’s face

-Freddie met with a group of people in tight satin pants and couldn’t sit down so he looked around and tried to not attract attention to himself while undoing them

-Freddie was also so exhausted during their US tour at one point he just completely passed out, face in his breakfast

-Roger chose the shirt Fred wanted to wear for their first Rainbow show so he stormed off during soundcheck and brian begged for him to come back

-Also during their first US tour, Brian got himself a love affair in New Orleans and had to be rushed back to the UK after waking up in New York with full blown hepatitis due to a vaccine he received earlier in the year.. Freddie got herpes apparently? Icons.

-Freddie kept up with visiting Brian in the hospital while they worked on Sheer Heart Attack since homeboy had an operation after he was cleared for his hepatitis bed rest then had an ulcer shortly after.

-Roger didn’t like his hair in the cover photo for Sheer Heart Attack so they added extensions in the final photo. 

-Years after them leaving Trident, John was met with a former employee who recognized him at an airport and just completely shut him down. We love a king who knows his worth.

Edit #1 since I’ve read a bit more...

-Brian would somewhat irritate the person making coffee and tea. “...and then I’d ask Brian what he wanted. Then there’d be this pause and then he’d ask ‘How many teas are you making? How many coffees?...Two?...Three? Is it easier for you to make another coffee or another tea?’ You could spend 10 minutes just doing this. He was trying to make it easier for me, but in the end I’d be like, ‘Brian! Just tell me what you want!’”

-Bri thought Death on Two Legs was too mean and felt bad singing it.

-Freddie shutting down homophobes in the audience by shining the spot light on them and asking them to repeat what they said.

-Freddie didn’t believe the gold disc for a Night at the Opera was the album so he broke it open to play it and it was indeed their album. He was suspicious of EMI after everything at Trident which, I mean, valid.

-Mary out here recognizing her and Fred’s relationship was crumbling, accepted it and hugged him when he came out. We love a good support system.

-When in Australia, they had to go on foot to their venue due to a festival taking place. No cars could pass. But Freddie being extra, he was driven through in a limo while drinking champagne.

Edit #2

-Fred was being driven to the studio and they crashed so he went to a nearby house to use their phone...in a silk kimono with Queen written on the back...almost dressed in full stage attire. They let him in, made him tea and chatted.

-During their show at Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto, Brian’s amp exploded and he ran over to tell Freddie but it was in his mic pretty much so everyone heard him panicing. Fred waved Bri away saying “Oh, just jump around a bit and the silly bastards won’t know the difference!”

-If Fred walked somewhere, a car would follow him with the door open in case he got tired. This boy is so extra I swear to god....

-I ALMOST FORGOT!! They had clocks as promo items for News of the World and they sounded kind of fancy so I looked it up and.....

Bitch...I low-key want one.

Edit #3

-That feeling when Roger could not confirm but didn’t doubt there being dwarves with cocaine at the Jazz debut party.

-In Munich recording the Game, the boys would split off to do their own thing after recording for the day. Freddie would explore the gay club scene while the others got drinks, dinner and a club then would meet back up with Freddie at the hotel. Taylor’s suite (not sure if it’s Roger or Crystal tbh) was the HH....the hetero hangout and Freddie’s was the PPP...the Presidential Pouff Parlour.

-John was nicknamed Ostrich because ‘He’s was like a bird who stays quiet until it finally lays a perfect egg.’ Kinda wish there was more about John in this book tbh

-the author really out here typing Deakey....unbelievable. Either Deacy or Deaky, binch. Come on.

-According to Crystal, Roger had his drum case be a close up of his face in case he had amnesia and needed to know what he looked like but we all know the truth, Rog 👀

-During a late night drinking sesh, one of the crew put on the Flash Gordon soundtrack and John, shit faced, asked who it was.

Edit #4

-Apprently Cool Cat was the first song written for/on Hot Space and Brian wasn’t a huge fan of it or Back Chat because it wasn’t heavy enough. Adding onto that, Staying Power and Body Language were thought to be too gay and Bri wanted things to be for everyone of different persuasions. Brian....let the gays have something.

-With the Works and Hot Space being my top two Queen albums...I was disappointed how much was just blown over with the recording process tbh.

-Paul Prenter was a massive cunt but everyone knows that.

-John was busted after a Phil Collins concert because he was drunk driving. He was driving his new Porsche but then got his license suspended for a year. Brian was a guest DJ for a radio show where he played Stevie Wonder’s Don’t Drive Drunk and dedicated the song to “John, whom some of you may know has had a little problem with his car recently.’

-Freddie’s pick up line for Jim was ‘how big is your dick’....I mean, in a way, it worked??? Iconic.

-Roger owned up to having their sound guy set false sound limits for the groups before them during Live Aid so when Queen went on, they were the loudest.

Edit #5, the last one since I finished the book

-Paul Prenter should have had someone kick him in the shins tbh fuck that guy

-Brian met Anita through a Eastenders event and he was gushing about how much he loved the show since Chrissie had him watch it then invited her to Wembley which she turned him down.

-Also fast forward to the later half of the 90′s, Anita helped Brian get into therapy for his depression and other emotional matters. We love a supportive queen.

-When the book finally talks more about John and it’s him saying the We Will Rock You musical sucked and he having an affair with a 25 year old erotic dancer like come on my dude....why couldn’t I be her??? But for real, I looked into it and found an article and wowza. When sd!Deaky be an actual thing????

-The press’ harassment of Freddie and his inner circle during his last years is absolutely horrendous to read about tbh. I think it was Roger (feel free to correct me on that if I’m wrong) who crashed his car because the camera flashes temporarily blinded him when he was trying to visit Freddie.

-Also Freddie was able to see the Bohemian Rhapsody clip from Wanye’s World since Mike Myers sent him a tape. Bri and Fred watched it and according to Brian, Freddie loved it and sent his seal of approval.

There’s the things I found interesting reading this biography. If you’ve read it or have any other fun facts, add them on my dudes!

[themonkeycabal]

WandaVision Ep 4 SPOILERS

Yes, spoilers, 

Wherein I watch and say stuff that might or might not be worth reading.

After a little bit of a lackluster start, there was good story progress last week. An escalation of weird, which I appreciated. I'll probably have to relive it, because Disney doesn't want to let me skip the previously. Ever. Why are you the way you are, Disney?

Geraldine/Monica is made of whispery voices and swirling dust and such. Weird. She's sitting in a chair, sleeping, and apparently being reconstituted. She wakes to a hospital room but outside is chaos. Lots of yelling and people running about. There's like swirling dust or human confetti everywhere, and other people are being reconstituted left and right. Seems unusual. Not the sort of thing that normally happens in hospitals. Oh, are they being un-snapped? The great un-snappening. The un-snapapalooza. The fall of the snappocalypse. I'll stop. I guess we're in a flashback of sorts.

Dudes, Monica just like full on hip checked some dude into the boards. She didn't mean it, but, damn, that guy went flying. Nobody knows what's going on, it's madness. A doctor recognizes her and asks where she went and Monica's all "uh, what? I took a nap?" Napping and then snapping and then popping back into existence. Ain't that just the way? Oh, sad, her mom died while she was missing for five years. :(

Sentient Weapon Observation Response Division — please nobody expect me to remember that. They have a Cape Canaveral looking compound with multiple launch pads and a very large hanger smack in the middle. Gee how neat for them that they get to operate out in the open, Phil Coulson says (in my head) with a whole lot of sarcasm.

Oh, right, they called it the Blip. The Great Un-Blippening. That doesn't sound as good. What on earth with the massive monitors in the main lobby. Nobody likes watching the news that much. Monica is trying to brazenly walk through the front doors with a badge that doesn't work and wow, security guy is kind of a dick. Oh, she belongs there. Captain Monica Rambeau. Captain, good for her.

And now security dick is revealed to be even more dickish, since this is just after the Blip and she's trying to go back to work. Like, SWORD couldn't put out a memo "Be on the lookout for recently unblipped personnel. Don't be massive dicks to them when their security badges don't work, because of how they got blipped and all"? Also maybe a reorientation packet, or like a desk out front "Back from the Blip? Talk to Lt. Mandy Smith in HR about your reactivation options today!" I'm just spitballing here. I get it was chaotic, but that's no reason to let the unblipped get a rude welcome. It wasn't their fault Thanos was critically dumb.

Blip no longer sounds like a word.

Anyway, the acting director is fortunately there to meet her before she could drop her gloves and punch the security dick in the dick. Aww, Maria Rambeau is on the Wall of Valor, or whatever they call it at SWORD.

Things aren't going well at SWORD. The Blip put the hurt on the division. Their remaining astronaut trainees have chickened out. Oh, what if there was like crew up in orbit that got blipped and then when they unblipped five years later … yikes. Well, I'll allow the 'lost their nerve' may have a solid basis in horribleness that probably occurred around the Blip. I retract the 'chickened out' comment.

This is a very long walk-and-talk. Maria Rambeau built SWORD "from the ground up". Bless.

The Director has grounded Monica. Well, actually, her mom grounded her, making protocols in case vanished personnel one day returned. Lol. Though, I mean, I'd guess she'd know, what with Carol and all.  "I know it's a raw deal, but there is one positive takeaway. She believed you'd come back." Awww

So, she's off to deal with some sort of missing persons case in New Jersey overseeing the loan of one of their drones for the FBI. I guess Wanda will be the missing person. Yep, she's off to Westview. Which has seen better days.

Hey! It's Agent Woo! I like you Agent Woo! Did I know he was in this? I don't remember. Randall Park's great. A happy surprise.

Hmm, he has a missing witness. So, not Wanda, then. Hmm again. Agent Woo contacted known associates, family, friends — none of them have ever heard of the witness. A mystery!

Oh and there's another wrinkle.

"Pardon me Sheriff, would you mind repeating your claim about Westview to my colleague here?"

"No such place," he says, standing next to the 'Welcome to Westview" sign.

Hmmm, puzzling. Jimmy Woo can't reach anybody listed as living in town. So, wait, the town doesn't exist, except it does, but, nobody thinks it does, so where did he get the phone records for residents? The phone company was just like "here's your records for the imaginary city of Westview, all 3,000+ residents that never existed, and yet we have the numbers and we're just not going to question that". Weird.

"So you can't reach anyone inside and everyone on the outside has some sort of selective amnesia?" That does seem to be the case, Monica. Super odd. Agent Woo is very sanguine about the whole thing. He dealt with Scott Lang, I guess after that everything else is like, 'meh'.

"Why haven't' you gone inside to investigate?" A fine question, Captain.

"Because it doesn't want me to." That's just creepy, Agent Woo. "You can feel it, too, can't you? Nobody's supposed to go in." I guess this is where the drone will come in handy. Oh, it's the little helicopter that Wanda found in the bushes in the second episode. I'm going to pretend that super advanced SWORD drones would totally look like cheap RC toy helicopters. I guess that's a disguise?

Monica wants to know why she and Agent Woo are aware that Westview exists and nobody else is. Does that mean the Sheriff was standing next to the Welcome to Westview sign and just did not see it at all? He was just hanging out in the middle of nowhere with a weirdly laconic FBI agent who kept asking about the town that very clearly wasn't just right behind them? That's a little more than amnesia.  

Also, Agent Woo's hero was Elliot Ness. Of course it was.

Oh no, the drone vanished as it crossed the town line! There's an energy field around the town that looks like what happens when you push your fingers against an old monitor and get the weird pixelly rainbow. Agent Woo's all "please no touch" and Monica's all "yes, I think I'll stick my whole hand in there." And she got sucked in. Agent Woo's gotta be like "WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY EVER LISTEN TO ME?"

24 hours later. Darcy! Some sort of transport van. A trio of other suits in the back, plus Darcy. She tries to talk to one of the dudes and he's all "we're not supposed to talk to each other!" "Boy Scout leader, got it." Relax, uptight guy. Pfft, what sort of team is that? The rest give up their specialty. Aww, bless, she went into astrophysics. "We've got the full clown car." heh.

Boy Scout leader finally caving to peer pressure: "I'm a chemical engineer." Darcy: "No one cares." lol. Missed you, girlfriend!

And in 24 hours SWORD/FBI whoever have set up a little military camp. Oh a "response base". How banally euphemistic. There's like a whole bunch of agencies there, as well as Army and Air Force.

Dr. Lewis. Oh, I'm so proud. I bet Jane was over the moon. Saved from poli-sci!

Elsewhere another drone vanishes. Darcy darcys a lot at an uptight uniform who is breathing down her neck "make your assessment" and it's delightful. Darcy notices some high levels of cosmic background radiation and also something weird layered over the top of that. Hmm, she needs a tv. "An old one, like not flat." One with vacuum tubes, perhaps?

In another part of the camp, they send in a guy in a hazmat suit, down into the sewers, looking for Monica. I guess he'll be the beekeper Wanda tosses in ep 2. Jimmy Woo is not optimistic about that plan. He tells the SWORD Director all about it.

"Someone must really miss you back at Quantico." "No, sir, softball season is over." Lol.

All their high tech scanning is turning up nothing.

Uhoh, screaming. Oh, nevermind, it's the laughtrack. While everybody else was dicking around with the LIDAR, Darcy has tracked down the last tube tv in New Jersey and has tuned into the Wanda Dimension. Episode one is playing.  

Darcy is understandably particularly baffled by Vision. "Look, I know it's been a crazy few years on this planet, but he's dead right? Not blipped. Dead." Poor Vision. Alas.

Director wants to know if the broadcast is realtime or a recording. Or what? Darcy's like "how tf should I know?"

Jimmy asks the good question "So you're saying the universe created a sitcom staring two Avengers?" "It's a working theory."

Now SWORD fans out! And collects every ye olde TV on the eastern seaboard. Who doesn't love a good sitcom, amiright? (Me. Me do not love sitcoms). The Director storms off to wherever for whatever reason. I don't know, don't care. Jimmy and Darcy are on the case.

Darcy is IDing the other "characters" in the sitcom, who appear to be real people with NJ driver's liscenses, while Jimmy is wondering why the force field is hexagonal. You've got me there. And now we're montaging.

Jimmy ponders the big board of 'characters' and Darcy drops her cup o' noodles when she spots Monica in the second episode. He and Darcy discuss and he's like "is it an alternate reality, time travel, some cockamamie social experiment?" Darcy's all "it's a sitcom." A pure mystery.

Darcy comes up with the idea to reach out to Wanda via the radio in her kitchen. "Next time she's washing dishes — which by my count happens about once an episode, barf." heh. She tech babbles some and I'm very proud.

A minion agent runs up with the latest intel from the most recent episode, it's a picture of the SWORD drone that looks more retro (frankly it looks better than the 'real world' one.) Hmmm, such a puzzler. Why did it change, they wonder.  

Darcy Lewis and Jimmy Woo are a partnership I can totally get behind. Jimmy was the voice trying to reach Wanda. Darcy's watching the show while Jimmy's trying the radio thing. It's the second episode where Wanda's talking to Emma Caulfield and things go weird. Good. I'm glad they jumped us to the outside world by ep four. While I thought the first two eps were slow, I think maybe they'll work better once we can watch the whole thing at a go.

Dude is still crawling through the sewers. I completely forgot he was down there. And the field extends below ground and he just crawled through it and became a beekeeper, and his safety rope snapped and … became a jumprope?

And then Wanda wishes him to the cornfield. (I guess? We don't see what happens to him.)

SWORD is watching episode three.

"1950s, 1960s, and now 70s. Why does it keep switching time periods. It can't be purely for my enjoyment can it?" Guys, it's so good to see Darcy.   "I can't believe Wanda and Vision are having a baby." No really, Jimmy and Darcy, BFFS 4EVAH! They're eating chips and watching the episode. Delightful. Just delightful.

"Twins. What a twist." Jimmy gives Darcy a look. "I'm invested!"

Monica mentions Ultron and Jimmy and Darcy are like "Whoa!".

They notice the screen sort of glitches and then Monica is gone and it's the end credits. Like when Bee guy vanished. Darcy and Jimmy are confused. "Someone is censoring the broadcast." Yeah, Wanda. She's gone to the scary place, friends.

Alarms go off and they run off. But, we go into Wanda World the aspect ratio changes from 4:3 to 16:9 and it's a new angle on when Wanda went all scary at Monica, demanding to know who she is. And then, of course, she gets kicked out of Wanda World.

"Wanda, I'm just your neighbor." "Then how could you know about Ultron?"

Wanda brings up the glowy hands of scary. "You are a stranger and an outsider and right now you are trespassing here. And I want you to leave." And then she zooms Monica out through the walls and fences and fields and that looked like it probably hurt.

Oh gross. Wanda turns around and sees Dead Vision. The big hole in his head and his face all, you know, dead looking. She looks away and then he's normal when she looks back. Well, now this has turned all sad, you guys. "We can go wherever we want." "No, we can't." Sad. Poor Wanda. The aspect ratio goes back to 4:3. I’m sure Editorial was like “oh god, again?” 

"Don't worry darling, I have everything under control."

I don't think so, Wanda.

Good ep! My only real takeaway is that none of this is going to end particularly happily. 

So … Darcy and Jimmy, BFFS 4EVAH!

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

Hello From The Other Side - fic

Characters: Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, Alfred Pennyworth Summary: Dick returns from his life as Ric, and finds he has quite a few missed calls. From Damian, of all people. A/N: Based on ‘Hello’ by Adele. Vaguely surrounds current comics situations with Damian and/or Dick. Sorry this sucks hard knobs.

~~

Dick found himself smiling as he walked in the manor’s front door.

He missed this place.

Or, well, rather, he would have. If he remembered it.

But when he did remember it, oh boy, did he miss it.

“Hello?” He called, listening to his voice echo. He hoped someone was home, anyone. He…he hadn’t seen his family in years now, and his throat still tightened at the thought.

No one responded, and Dick found himself fighting back the feeling of disappointment. Of course no one was home, it was the middle of the afternoon. If they weren’t at their various jobs, they were probably sleeping off recent patrols, or maybe down in the cave. Or, you know, at their own homes.

Only Bruce and Damian lived at the manor anymore, he was pretty sure. Maybe.

…He actually didn’t know.

Suddenly, there was the sound of someone clearing their throat from a room nearby, and Dick gravitated towards the noise.

He walked into the kitchen, and found Alfred, moving about the center island, opening and closing drawers and cabinets.

“Alfie?” Dick asked hopefully, smile widening on his face. “Long time no see.”

“Master Richard.” Alfred returned with a quick glance. “My boy, it is so good to see you. The real you.”

“Yeah, I feel a lot better.” Dick laughed, rubbing at the side of his head, where that scar was hidden by his too-long hair. “…Thanks for coming to see me when I was...that other guy.” A pause. “I…do remember that still.”

“My pleasure, sir.” Alfred promised, continuing to shuffle through the drawers. “As if I’d ever give up on one of you children. Amnesia didn’t stop me the last time. Of course it wouldn’t this time.”

“And how awful that we live such lives where there was a last time?” Dick lamented. He watched Alfred for a minute more as he moved from the island to the pantry. “…What are you looking for?”

“Something I need to give you.” Alfred grunted, pushing a bag of sugar out of the way on a shelf. “I meant to search for it prior to your arrival, but…” Alfred frowned. “Things came up.”

Dick didn’t like how he said that last sentence. He…he hadn’t seen anyone since he remembered, only talked to Bruce on the phone, said he was coming back. But Alfred said that as if…

He shook his head. He could deal with that later.

“Can I help you search?” Dick asked instead.

“No need, dear boy. It’s in this kitchen somewhere.” Alfred continued, standing on his tiptoes and reaching along the highest shelf. “I know it’s in here. It’s the only place none of your snooping siblings come regularly, so I knew they’d never think to search here, should they ever want it for some reason.”

“It?” Dick pushed. “What’s it-”

“Aha!” Alfred exclaimed. His hand wrapped around something the size of a thin deck of cards and he yanked it down excitedly. “Here it is.”

Alfred ran his hand along it, pushing off any dust. He turned towards Dick and Dick was almost taken aback by how much older the beloved man looked.

“For you, sir.” Alfred held it out like it was precious.

“It’s…” Dick frowned, confused, but took the device anyway. “Alfie, it’s just my old cell phone.” An airy laugh. “You didn’t have to keep this. I’m…kind of surprised Bruce asked you to, actually. Figured he would have cancelled the service, especially after how Ric acted when he left town.”

“Oh, Master Bruce didn’t ask me to keep it. I did on my own.” Alfred explained, watching as Dick pressed the button on the side to turn the phone on. “It was a…hopeful just-in-case.”

“Oh yeah? And what does that mean?” Dick smirked. His phone’s home screen popped to life, a picture of Cass and Kori painting Jason and Roy’s toenails, but was instantly taken over by a wave of seemingly never-ending notifications.

“…It means we missed you, Dick.” Alfred smiled as he put a hand on Dick’s shoulder. “More than we could ever say.”

Dick found himself frowning as the notifications didn’t slow. By the icons, he could tell a lot of them were texts and voicemails, and in theory, that shouldn’t have been too much of a surprise. The surprise came from the fact that these calls were recent, not all of them from years ago, and that most of them, it appeared, were coming from Damian.

Damian who…knew exactly where he was.

“Alfred, what…?”

“I hid your phone when I noticed him calling, after Ric returned to Bludhaven.” Alfred whispered sadly. “Just…just in case you ever returned to us. So you could hear what he said.”

Dick felt his heart sink a little bit.

“And to be clear, I did not eavesdrop.” Alfred swore. “I do not know what any of the messages entail. But I’m sure they’re very…emotionally charged.”

Dick snorted a bitter laugh. “I’m sure that’s an understatement.”

“Indeed.” Alfred returned the laughter. “Now, if you don’t mind, I need to begin your welcome home meal.”

“Of course. I’ll get out of your way.” Dick smiled. “But just one more thing.”

Before Alfred could ask, Dick leaned forward, wrapping the old man in a tight embrace.

“Missed you, Alfie.” Dick murmured.

“Thank you for returning to me.” Alfred breathed back, returning the hug with an intense squeeze.

After their quiet, and far too quick, reunion, Dick bid him adieu, and headed upstairs. He went to his own bedroom, knowing that Alfred had already cleaned and dusted everything, and opened the door to the sweet smell of a burning candle on the nightstand.

He smiled at the scent and then flopped down onto his back on the mattress. He missed this bed. This room. This house.

This life.

He reopened his phone, and looked at the bright red notifications. Thousands of texts, hundreds of voicemails. Emails, he just…wasn’t even going to look at that number.

He hit the voicemails button first, Alfred’s words fresh in his mind. And sure enough, the list was just a constant repetition of Damian’s name, with a few others here and there, including his other siblings and hero friends.

None of the voicemails were very long. A minute, tops, in most cases. Fifteen to twenty seconds for the majority. So he went to the bottom, the very first voicemail on the list that belonged to Damian.

“…This is stupid.” The message started. Damian was speaking softly. “I’m…I’m sitting right next to you. In the hospital. You’re stable, but unconscious. The doctor keeps saying she doesn’t know if you’ll wake up.”

A ruffling, like he was shifting in a chair. “Well, you better, okay? You better wake up. Or else.”

Another pause. In the background, Dick could hear the beeping of a heart monitor.

“…Todd suggested this. Leaving voicemails for when you do wake up. Something to laugh about when you’re all better. Or as a memento, so you don’t feel like you missed anything. Or something. I don’t know.” An annoyed huff, and the repetition of: “This is so stupid.”

Then click.

Dick blinked, and went to the next message, and the next. The first ten or so from Damian were all similar messages, all recorded when he apparently was sitting at Dick’s hospital bed. The only difference between them were that Damian sounded sadder and sadder each time. Less hopeful.

There was at least one a day, sometimes more but normally not. Then suddenly for almost a week, there was nothing, not from Damian at least. Then his name reappeared, and the message was not its typical fifteen seconds. It was a minute and a half.

“…You woke up.” Damian choked out, and instantly Dick knew he was crying. “You woke up and you don’t remember any of us.” His breath was heavy, and he heard the desperate, quiet meows of Alfred behind him, trying to get his attention. “And you don’t want to remember any of us.”

Ten seconds of nothing but watery breathing. A gentle woof from Titus.

“Did someone tell you what I did, is that why? Did they tell you who I used to be?” Damian whispered. “Is that why you don’t want to know me anymore? You forgave my sins before, when we were partners. You remembered how heinous they actually were, didn’t you? And how stupid you were for forgiving me in the first place.”

Another long pause. Damian sniffed, and blew his nose.

“I…I should have been there, then this wouldn’t have happened.” Damian continued, almost like he forgot he was on the phone. “I would have seen the gunman. I would have pushed you out of the way. Father could have…done something.”

A heavy sigh.

“I would have killed him for looking at you. For daring to try and hurt…” A loud gulp that sounded painful. “I don’t know why I’m doing this anymore. You’re not coming back. This is a waste of time.”

The line dropped.

Dick winced as he went back to the list. If that was how this started…he had a feeling it didn’t get any better.

Which made the next one a surprise. Back to a short length. But despite it being under Damian’s name, the first voice he heard was Jason’s.

“Dickie!” Jason slurred, and immediately Dick knew he was drunk. In the background he heard laughter that sounded like Tim, and Damian shouting Jason’s name in annoyance. “We miss you, dude. Big time. Also, why’d you never share your kid with us? He’s cute. And I’m…a little insulted.”

“Todd.” Damian’s voice was closer now, and there was shuffling. “Give me back the damn phone!”

“Okay, I’m a lot insulted. Also, who taught him to swear so much? I swear, Bruce blushed at the way your lil’ baby boy cursed out the Penguin the other night.”

“Todd!” Damian called again. Suddenly Jason grunted, and Damian’s voice was right there, almost as if he was on Jason’s back. “Give me-”

There was the sound of a scuffle, and halfhearted “Hey!” from Jason, and suddenly all sound disappeared.

“…Sorry, Grayson.” Damian muttered, sounding genuine. “Todd was…upset. About…well, you, I guess, and got himself drunk over it.”

A pause, followed by a quick scoff. “What am I-”

The line cut off.

That one made Dick smile a little bit. But also sigh. The amnesia…did a whole lot more damage than to just his mind, it appeared.

He clicked the next.

“…I keep drawing you.” Damian whispered. “Cassandra brought it to my attention. I didn’t…didn’t realize.”

Dick could hear the scratch of a pencil in the background.

“She asked why, and I told her I didn’t know. Perhaps I just missed you. That seemed to satisfy her.” Damian hummed. He didn’t sound upset, like he had previously, but he also didn’t sound happy. He didn’t sound anything. “That’s not the real reason, though.” Stop. “I mean, it is. I do miss you.” A bitter laugh. “I miss you terribly and I hate myself for it because I probably shouldn’t.” Dick frowned at that. “But it’s not why.”

A quick scribble, then the turning of a page.

“It’s because I think…I think I’ll forget.” Damian breathed. “I’ll forget what you look like.” A small grunt. “Or, at least, what you looked like. When you were you.”

A few seconds of silence.

“You go by Ric, now. That’s disgusting.” Damian noted. “Barbara says you’re a cab driver now. Interesting choice. Very not you, that’s for sure.”

The clatter of pencils. A quiet meow from Alfred nearby.

“…But if it makes you happy, I guess.” Damian sighed. Dick absently wondered where Damian’s sketchbooks were, if anyone had seen them. If they still existed. “…I hope you’re happy, Grayson. Whatever you’re doing.”

The line clicked.

As he scrolled through the list, he wondered if Damian would show him the drawings he mentioned if he asked.

The next one he picked was from a few months later, and time stamped as two in the morning.

The first noise was the wind, a sound Dick knew well. Nothing like the howl of the breeze from on top of a skyscraper. The next was the flapping of a cape.

Damian’s voice was tinny, and clearly through his mask communicator, not a phone.

“…Father and I are fighting.” Damian said bluntly. “My team…my team doesn’t trust me. Not that they should, I suppose. Trust is for the weak. So, in theory, it makes them each stronger heroes.”

A bird fluttered by.

“I mean, I’m lying to them as well, so. They shouldn’t.” Damian reiterated. “I…”

He stopped again, and for a moment, the shuddering breath that echoed made Dick wonder if he was injured. If maybe he thought he was dying. It sounded like a confession.

“You’d be so disappointed in me, Grayson.” Damian sighed. “I…what I’m doing isn’t good. It’s…violent. And I’m hiding it. From the Titans, from Father. Not like Father cares where I am or what I’m doing anymore. I haven’t seen him in weeks.”

A few seconds of just Damian breathing.

“…I looked in the mirror the other day. For the first time in a while. It’s not like I was avoiding mirrors, I just…wasn’t thinking about them. But I did the other day and I…I don’t think I recognized myself.” Another flutter of wings and a light coo. Dick imagined the bird had landed on Damian’s hand. “I…didn’t really know who I was looking at. It took me a minute to realize I was looking at myself.”

The rustle of one of his belt pouches. The happy cooing of the bird again.

“…Something’s wrong with me.” Damian whispered, and he almost sounded terrified. “I…I’m trying my best. I’m trying to save people. I’m trying to be what people think I should be, what Father wants me to be, but…I feel like I’m drowning. Like I’m cracking. Like I’m about to shatter into a million pieces.”

Dick felt a lump in his throats at the words. This wasn’t good. Because normally, Damian only admitted something was wrong when it was too late to fix it. So how long did he feel this way? How long was he and Bruce really so estranged?

What was Damian doing that he was keeping so hidden?

“Drake says I’m still grieving you, and that I’m in the midst of some sort of…downward spiral. Then he said it was funny, because you were similar when I died.”

Dick could agree with that.

“But…you had your friends. You still had the family. I…” An angry huff. “You were the only person to ever care about me Grayson, and I have no one.”

The wind blew in the background again, and it sounded like it was wailing.

“I have no one.” Damian repeated softly. Then he snorted. “Maybe, somehow, this is your fault. Maybe without you, I really am a hopeless case. You were my conscious, so without you I am just the evil assassin who needs to be stopped, thrown in prison or eradicated.”

Another pause, and Dick heard the bird fly off.

“…I’m lost, Grayson. And I…I guess I’m scared.” Damian whispered. “Of Father’s true feelings for me, of the future…of myself.”

Another sigh, and suddenly Damian’s voice was full of tears.

“I’m just trying so hard, Grayson. I’m trying my best. But it’s still not good enough. I still can’t get Father to look at me. I still can’t save anyone. I…I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

A moment, to let himself cry, and Dick’s heart broke with every beat listening to it.

“I hope you’re doing well without me. Without the family.” Damian breathed, trying to regain his composure. “Because I am not doing as well without you.”

Dick heard the phantom sound of a beep, the alert for another line calling.

“I miss you.” Damian whispered. “I miss you so much, Grayson. I hope you’re doing okay.”

The line clicked.

Dick glanced back at the metadata for the call. That was less than a year ago. Eight, ten months perhaps?

He hadn’t seen Damian since he returned. Hell, no one had even mentioned him. But no one said anything had happened either…

Dick swallowed that lump in his throat, went looking for more messages.

One was only six seconds.

“Jon went away for three weeks. He’s now seventeen years old, and going to live in the thirty-first century.” Damian explained. “Why do the people I care about keep changing? Keep leaving?”

Another even shorter one a few days later.

“Titus pooped in Drake’s room. I’m not cleaning it up. It’s what he deserves.”

There were a string of them, almost every other day for about three weeks. Each short, and none of them pertaining to Damian’s long, distressing message.

“It rained today, and I wore your sweatshirt outside. Sorry.”

“Father called me back to town to help with a case. He didn’t say four words to me the whole time I was here.”

“It’s…hard today, Grayson.”

“My animals miss you.”

“Todd misses you.”

“Gordon misses you today.”

“I think I saw Pennyworth crying over you in the kitchen this morning.”

“I had a dream about you. You were dead. Your ghost followed me around. I think I preferred it to our current situation.”

“I had a nightmare about you. You were a Talon sent to kill me. I should have let you.”

“…I miss you, Grayson. I don’t know what else to say.”

Dick’s heart was twisting. No one noticed Damian was making these calls beside Alfred? No one talked to him? He was just…left to deal with this alone?

After that three week period, there weren’t any for a month or two. Dick even checked for text messages, and there was none from Damian. He was surprised by that too, surprised Damian never texted him during his time away. Always put in the extra effort, extra time, to call. To let the phone ring, listen to his answering machine, and say what was one his mind.

He went back to the list of voicemails, and went in search of Damian’s next one. And he found it – right next to one from Tim a few minutes before it.

So he listened to Tim’s first.

“…It’s a mess here without you, Dick.” Tim said with a sigh. “Something’s going on with Damian and Bruce, and no one seems to know what it is. Hell, I don’t think they even know, honestly. But it’s tense and awful being here. Can’t help but think this – whatever this is – wouldn’t have happened if you were still here.”

The computer dinged in the background, and Dick heard the chair shift as Tim leaned forward.

“Damian’s about to snap. No one can reach him.” Tim sounded concerned, and Dick was almost surprised by that. “He won’t let anyone reach him. He’s reminding me of how he was when he first came here, and that’s scary. But I’m not you. No one is you, and we can’t figure it out. We ask and he ignores the question. We offer support and he disappears.”

Another sigh.

“Bruce doesn’t even ask.”

Dick found himself wincing at that.

“…We miss you, Dick.” Tim mumbled. “But at least you’re safe down in Bludhaven, and away from all this shit.”

Tim ended the call.

Immediately, Dick went to Damian’s call, that he made only moments later.

“…I have to leave. I can’t do this anymore.” Damian whispered. “I can’t stay here. I can’t stay in this life. I can’t stay in this mantle.”

There was no sound behind him. Nothing. He obviously wasn’t in the cave, that’s where Tim clearly was. But was he in the house? Was he outside? Was he already gone?

“I…I’m sorry I let you down, Grayson. I’m sorry I’ve destroyed the name you, for some reason I still don’t understand, thought I deserved. But I won’t take Robin with me. I’ll leave it here. I won’t tarnish it anymore.” More silence. Dick couldn’t even hear Damian breathing. “…Do you think Father will even notice I’m gone? Do you think he’ll care?”

Dick waited in the quiet.

“Because I don’t.” Damian admitted. “But…maybe that’s alright. It’ll make it easier for me to do what I need to. No distractions.”

Suddenly, there was a small hitch in his breath, and Dick heard the tears instantly.

“I’ll miss him, despite it all. He is still my father. He still let me meet you.” Damian breathed. “But I need to do this. I need to. And I don’t know if I’ll come back. Maybe if you do.”

A bitter laugh.

“But we all know that isn’t happening.” Damian let out a long exhale. “I’m sorry, Grayson. I’m sorry I couldn’t…be what you thought I could be. And I’m sorry…I didn’t appreciate you while you were here. I never thought losing you would be my undoing. Would put me on a path that would lead to something like this. I thought…I thought I’d be with you and the family forever. Now I’m escaping into the night with nothing but a backpack. I’m not even taking this phone. Don’t want to be tracked and all that.”

As Damian spoke, Dick glanced at the call’s info again. This wasn’t that long ago. Three months.

“Thank you for everything. I’m sorry I messed it all up. I still miss you. I…still love you.” Damian sniffed. “I hope you and I cross paths again one day, even if you’re still Ric.”

Then…nothing. The call ended. Dick scrolled the list to find another one, but there was no more. No more calls from Damian’s phone. Not even anymore from the family. A few friends, a few doctor’s appointment reminders.

Dick sighed, dropping the phone onto his chest and closing his eyes. He knew he missed a lot. He knew he missed lifetimes.

But this…

The front door squeaked open. “We’re here!”

Despite it all, Dick found himself smiling. It was Tim.

He slid off his bed, leaving the phone behind, and jogged into and down the hall. But he found himself freezing at the landing.

Because it wasn’t just Tim. Damian was with him.

He was taller now, and full-on teenager lanky. His cheekbones were more pronounced, arms too long for the sweatshirt he wore. Already, Dick could see a few new scars he didn’t remember, even from this distance.

Dick frowned. The voicemail just said…?

Regardless, none of his confusion stopped him from all but flying down the stairs. Damian and Tim were chatting as they took off their shoes, so they didn’t see him coming, not until he engulfed Tim in his arms, and practically tackled him to the ground.

“Hey little brothers.” His voice was muffled against Tim’s shoulder.

Tim laughed, throwing his arms around Dick. “God, am I glad to see you.”

“Glad to be back.” He released Tim, but stared down at him. He looked tired. More tired than he normally did.

But he didn’t dwell on it, immediately turning to Damian and wrapping him up in his arms, lifting him and giving him a quick spin.

“Augh, Grayson!” Damian admonished, but laughed in the process, clinging to Dick’s neck. Even when Dick put him down, he didn’t release him, keeping his face hidden in Damian’s hair.

“Kiddo.” Dick whispered. “What’s new?”

Because should he outright say that he knew? Should he confront Damian – and Tim, really – right here and now? Or play dumb? Alfred said no one knew he kept the phone, after all.

“Everything.” Damian chuckled. “It has been a while, after all.” But Damian pulled back, and Dick’s heart swelled at the obvious reluctance to the movement. He felt no different, of course. “But a conversation for later. Not in the doorway. Has Pennyworth finished preparations?”

Like a snake, Damian slid away, practically running to the kitchen. A tactic to avoid conversation, Dick knew it well. He sighed, and glanced at Tim.

Tim was already watching him curiously. “…Do you know?”

“I know a little.” Dick admitted. “I…Alfred saved my phone. I got your voicemails. And his. I know he…left? He’s not Robin anymore?”

Tim shook his head. “He’s only here because I spent a week tracking him down. Bruce…didn’t even try to contact him to tell him you’re back. But I knew despite it all, he’d want to be here.”

“Does Bruce know he’ll be here tonight? For this?”

“No.” Tim mumbled. “And even when he sees him, Jay, Cass and I have already made a plan to keep the two as far away from each other as possible. Tonight’s about you, not what’s going on with them.”

“Think they’ll tell me what’s going on? Later, after dinner?”

Tim shrugged. “You know how Bruce is. Damian…he already told me he doesn’t want to stay long, probably to avoid talking to Bruce. But he missed you like crazy, so I don’t see him trying to sneak away until you guys get to talk one on one. So…he might.”

Dick pursed his lips. “…A lot has changed, hasn’t it?”

Tim gave him a sour grin. “More than you’d ever believe.”

“…Well, I’ll tell you one thing that hasn’t.” Dick offered. He wrapped his arm around Tim’s shoulders, reeled him into his side. “Still love you like crazy, squirt.”

Tim smiled genuinely now, hooking his own arm around Dick’s waist and pushing him towards the kitchen. “You better, old man.”

Dick laughed, kissed Tim’s head. “Missed you.”

“Missed you more.” Tim countered as they reached the doorway. They stopped there, leaning against each other. “…But probably still not as much as he did.”

Damian was awkwardly standing in front of Alfred as the old man looked him over, critiqued his lack of hair cut and skinniness. Alfred said something scolding and Damian laughed.

Dick inhaled and, without releasing Tim, walked over to him, once again tugging him into an embrace. An unspoken group hug.

Damian was still laughing. “Grayson, what on earth!”

“Just give me a minute, Damian.” Dick whispered, leaning his head between Tim and Damian’s. “Give me a minute.”

A minute before everyone’s here. A minute before Bruce brings tension. A minute before I learn what really happened. A minute before you try to disappear back into the night again.

He didn’t say any of that, but Damian seemed to know. He always seemed to know.

“Okay.” He whispered, as Tim silently wrapped his free arm around Damian’s back too. Damian glanced at him, but Tim just kept his gaze lowered. It was not the night for him to share his emotions on the subject.

So Damian shifted to hold them both, too.

“…Okay, Grayson.”

[zmediaoutlet]

in support of Black Lives Matter, @nigeltde-fic donated $25, and requested Sam & Dean & amnesia. Thank you for donating!

to get your own personalized fic, please see this post. (no longer taking prompts)

The gorgon hits Dean in the head and Sam panics because he always panics, when Dean’s bleeding and not responding, but that’s not the worst part. Dean’s bleeding and he won’t wake up, and Sam drives as fast as he can possibly drive--faster--and Sam carries him from the car to the bed and he still won’t wake up, and that’s not the worst part. Sam touches his face and the panic’s become this solid untouchable thing that fuzzes everything else in the world out to weird impossible static, and Dean flinches under his touch and seizes and he’s still bleeding because it’s a head wound, and head wounds bleed like a bitch but Sam remembers Dean telling him when he was fourteen and trying not to cry it’s not that bad, Sammy, it always looks worse than it is, it’s just blood, it’s okay--only it is bad, and it’s worse than it looks. Michael drains out of Dean’s body with the blood like a cracked bottle of whiskey spilling all over the floor, and Michael takes Rowena, and Michael kills all the refugees who were Sam’s responsibility, and Jack then kills Michael--kills Michael, the monster haunting Dean’s eyes and Sam’s dreams gone in a flash--but that’s something Sam can’t look at, right now--because Dean sits up in the infirmary, shocked and blinking and scared, and he says to Sam, “Sam?” but he looks around too and says, “What is this place?” and he says, “Sam? Sam, what happened? Where are we?” and Sam closes his eyes and thinks, no. No.

It’s a week, of taking care of the bodies. Trying to contact any friends they had, who might’ve known them from that other world, who might want to come and stand witness to their burning. Dean helps, because he has two hands and no matter what it seems that an essential part of him wants to be useful, but he doesn’t feel it. Not really. Sam chops wood and sets Dean to building, and Dean does, and sneaks uncertain looks at the strangers who sit miserable in their home, stands just behind Sam’s shoulder during the funerals, says constantly: who are they? what happened? Sam? Sam?

Sam doesn’t know what happened. Cas has examined Dean (Jack wanted to but they didn’t let him, uncertain of his raw golden-grace power), and Sam’s been as gentle as he can with his questions, and they called back Rowena, even, from her terrified flight, and none of them have an answer. Dean knows Sam, and nothing else. Not Castiel, not the bunker, not hunting. Not their mother, and Mary’s mouth trembled as she smiled at Dean, told him that it was okay, that she was sure he’d remember one day. She left again, that night, and Dean sat in Sam’s room and said, “Why can’t I remember,” with his head in his hands, and Sam didn’t have an answer to that, either.

The funerals over and Sam can’t seem to ditch the smell of ash. Burning flesh. Like pork, singed on a barbecue, and it makes him nauseous in the middle of the night, makes him stand over his sink with his gut heaving but he doesn’t puke. He breathes, eyes closed, mouth filling up with spit, and walks the empty corridors of the bunker alone. Mom’s gone and Cas is making himself scarce, looking for some kind of solution, and Jack’s odd and quiet in his room, and the scorch-marks on the concrete floors have long been cleaned up, and Dean--

Dean remembers him. Dean watches him, his eyes pinned to Sam the second they’re in the same room. Dean has his own bed but he doesn’t like it, finds it strange. Too warm, too soft. “Sammy,” Dean says, miserable when Sam leaves him there, but Sam can’t take advantage and he doesn’t know what to do, with this brother who knows him and nothing else.

It wasn’t like this, before. The knowing drained out of Dean slow, little trickles. Words, processes. Forgetting a lamp, surprised by a cartoon. Forgetting his animosities and his histories and his training until he was just--blank. Sweet. Brutal, because he was forgetting himself and Sam at the same time, and even if Sam managed to save himself at the last second with Dean knowing what brother meant--what it meant to them both--it was torture to see it slip away, piece by piece.

It’s gone entirely, now. Sam sits with Dean in the library and puts the tape recorder on, takes notes. “What do you remember?” he asks, putting his miseries aside, and Dean says, “You,” sad, like that’s all that counts. Sam closes his eyes and Dean’s hand closes around his wrist, holding on. His hand is just as calloused as it always was even without the memory that proves the callouses were earned.

“Tell me anyway,” Sam says, trying to smile, and Dean licks his lips, seems like he’s really trying to think.

“We’re from--Kansas,” he says, uncertain, and Sam nods, encouraging. “We--we grew up together.”

“Yeah, we did,” Sam says. He lets Dean keep his wrist. The touch of his skin is--the same. Somehow feels the same. “You remember where?”

Flicker of worry, across Dean’s face. “There was a car,” he says, uncertain still even though Sam brought him to the Impala on the second day when he realized what was happening, and Sam folds over the table, wants to cry.

“Sammy,” Dean says, tender, and touches his hair. He cards through it soft, his hands gentle and knowing, and Sam shudders. He misses his brother so badly he could just crumple into the floor. Could sell his soul. Could just die, miserable here, and hope that when--if--he got to heaven, his real brother would be there, waiting, would say to him crap, dude, took you long enough, and Sam could grab him in tight and hold him and it would mean everything it was supposed to mean, when Dean’s nose brushed his neck, when his hand cupped the back of Dean’s skull.

“I remember you,” Dean says, and Sam pushes away--dinner to take care of, and watching Dean eat and barely picking at his own meal, and the bunker empty, empty, empty. Everything Sam had worked for disappeared, and his one stalwart, his one anchor--

Midnight and his door shoves open, startles him where he’s laying on his back, staring up into nothing. Dean, backlit--but the light white, not red--and Sam reins in his gasp and sits up and says, “What’s the matter?” and Dean comes in and goes to his knees in front of Sam’s feet and says, “Sammy, I remember you.”

He’s staring up, earnest. His eyes clear, green as green even in the dark in here, his focus entirely and utterly on Sam. “I know you do,” Sam says, sore, but Dean grips his arms, shakes his head.

“You don’t,” he says, urgent as a little kid, and it twists in Sam’s belly, makes him look away, but Dean holds him tighter, doesn’t let him get away--says--

“You were so smart, and you were so fuckin’ stubborn--my little brother but I wasn’t in charge of dick, because you’d just get your way no matter what, even if it came a way I didn’t expect it. You and me didn’t get along all the time but we had some stuff--movies we watched, and music we both listened to--and you can’t sing for shit but when you’re drunk you give it a try, and you sound awful but it just makes me happy every time I think about it because it’s when you were happy and I know that’s about the best thing that can happen to me. When you’re happy. I know I--fuck up a lot, and I say crap I shouldn’t say, and I don’t know what it’s about but I remember the times you started to look--shit, like you do now, and it feels like crap but I don’t know how to make it right. Sammy, I don’t know how to make it right.”

Sam feels like crying. Dean’s hand grips his shoulder, touches his chest. “Sam, I remember you,” he says, thick and true, and Sam reaches out and gets a hand on the back of his skull, his fingers sinking into the thick soft buzz-short hair, the warmth that feels right even if nothing else does. “Sam.”

“What else do you remember?” Sam says, aching, and Dean says, “I remember when you came back, but I don’t know from where, and it was like--it was like the friggin’ continents were all upside down and then got turned right side up, and you were pissed as hell at me and I figured probably I deserved it but I didn’t care, it didn’t matter because Sam was here, and I know--Sam, I know I’m not right, I know things might be bad, and I’m gonna try to get right because I know I’m supposed to be your partner or whatever, but I--man, I’m going nuts, because I’m here, and you’re not.”

His hand hurts, gripping so hard on Sam’s shoulder. Sam breathes. “I’m here, Dean,” he says, and Dean says, touching his jaw, sad and clear, “You’re not, you’re not,” and he leans up and kisses Sam then, soft and on-target in the near-dark. His mouth, and his smell--Sam cups him closer, grips his t-shirt and hauls him up, closer, his body warm and familiar and right up against Sam’s, his hands rough and firm, his breathing the thing Sam wants to sync his body to, every morning. Dean kisses him short and quick and soft, pulls back and breathes and does it again, and again, and then shoves at Sam’s shoulders and makes him fall back to the bed and then crawls up, covers Sam’s body, cups Sam’s face in his hands, kisses him melting and sure and with his lip catching chapped against Sam’s lip, and Sam holds him so tight he’s sure it hurts and then pushes him back, a handful of inches to breathe, to think.

Dean looks at him, brow furrowed, close. The light from the hall rims his ear in clear golden light. “The only thing that matters is you, Sammy,” he says, quiet.

Sam feels like his body’s collapsing, in some essential way. Infrastructure, demolished, a cold and dusty ruin left behind. He runs his finger along the back of Dean’s ear, traces the warmth down to the steady, certain beat of Dean’s heart. “Us,” Sam says--corrects--gives up, and Dean slides his hand into Sam’s hair, smiles, and it’s not right, and it’s not the same. Sam closes his eyes and draws Dean in anyway. He’s not here, but he can fake it, for the brother he’s lost--the bloody history that made him Sam’s--for the hope that maybe one day he’ll be here again, pained and grim and inextricable from the blood and meat that’s made up Sam’s life. Dean pulls back after a while, sweet and hopeful. Unfamiliar. Sam smiles at him, and kisses Dean dishonest.

[cutietobio]

Can i request an akaashi angst with happy ending where reader has amnesia?

sure, hope you like it, anon! (also, my throat hurt writing this because I was like- so close to crying my dude wtf, I hope my emotion while reading this isn’t one-sided)

AKAASHI

“Why are you still here?” Akaashi freezes in place at your words, his hand hovering midway to where his drink settled on the table next to your hospital bed. Slowly, he retracted it, allowing his hand to fall in his lap as he bawled the material of his pants in his fist.

He stared at the spotless, white tiles below, trying his best to wrap his head around your question. Why was he still there? Because he loved you, of course. He couldn’t very well say that, however, for you wouldn’t understand and that would just cause more confusion. With your questioning, Akaashi couldn’t help but wonder if you didn’t want him there in the first place. He couldn’t blame you, you were suffering temporary memory loss and had no idea who he was, why should you want a complete stranger beside you throughout almost every second of the day? 

It may seem foolish, but Akaashi had been hoping that despite your forgotten memory of him, you would find yourself at ease with his presence.

With a forced smile that was obviously downcast, his eyes fluttered up to meet your own, “Because I care about you.”

You stared back at him, licking your dry lips as you thought. Hesitantly, you spoke, “But I don’t remember you.” As if your words had caused him physical pain, Akaashi grimaced and his eyes fell from your face.

“I know this,” he laughed, it was devoid of any humour and it made your stomach churn. This man was hurting, and you wished to find it in yourself to relate to him - but with not an inch of memories reappearing, it was extremely difficult to do so. Even now, you were unable to process your own feelings. How could you even think about understanding him?

“Yet,” you started off softly, voice wavering in uncertainty, his glancing up to meet yours at the sound of your words. They give you the strength to continue, “You still stay here by my side, even if I don’t know who you are?”

Akaashi nods and you dip your head, falling into a small daze. He doesn’t interrupt you.

“You must really care for me a lot, thank you,” you turn to look at him, offering the best smile you could in hopes that it brings some sort of reassurance. Akaashi responds with a smile of his own, except it’s sad and ghost-like. Your breath hitches in your throat,

“I really hope-” you cut yourself off, clearing your throat, your voice was much too rushed and high-pitched just then, “I really hope I remember you soon, Akaashi.” 

“I hope so too,” he glances over you one last time before getting up and circling around the bed you sat upon. His gaze lingers upon the medical machinery and the various fluid-filled bags hooked upon the IV Bar beside you. It appeared to bring him suffering, seeing you that way.

“I’ll get you some lunch, I know how much you hate the hospital food,” with a final nod, Akaashi leaves the room and you’re left wondering just how close the both of you were before your accident. 

-

“Did I really do that?” you whine out in embarrassment, hiding your reddened face in your hands. Akaashi laughs, and you refuse to admit the way it makes your chest bubble with warmth.

“Yes, you did. It was quite amusing, but I wouldn’t allow you to suffer embarrassment like that for much longer. So, I managed to take you somewhere less crowded,” Akaashi explained, a genuine smile on his face as he recalled the memory of your drunken state. 

“And then what happened?” you questioned, hoping he would go on for longer. Hearing him retell all these stories about the both of you had been the best entertainment you have had for the past two weeks - you were also hoping it would repair your memories.

Akaashi fell silent, a blush dusting his cheeks. Your eyebrows furrowed, confused by his sudden silence.

“Keiji?” you question, having grown comfortable enough to address him by his first name. When you had first done it, he was stricken with surprise. You could tell just how happy he had been, however, behind his collected demeanour. If it made him happy, you found yourself being even happier.

“Well, it would be improper to discuss what happened in detail, but you were a bit..excited in your state,” his words almost made you choke on your spit, heat rushing to your cheeks at a frightening speed. You had almost forgotten that the two of you were involved romantically.

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking straight,” you groaned, rubbing at your face in distress, hoping it would somehow calm you down.

“There’s no need to apologize, I managed to turn you down without hurting your feelings. Even if you didn’t remember it the next morning, I would never take advantage of you like that,” the room fell silent, albeit for your shuffling under the sheets.

“You’re a really sweet guy, Keiji. I-” you dropped your hands from your face, turning to look at him, “I’m not surprised that I wa- am so attracted to you. Even if I don’t regain my memories... I would really like to try again, with you,” you smile and Akaashi feels his heart clench. Whether it be from relief, despair, happiness or a combination of all three. 

“I would like that, very much,” he barely manages to whisper out, his voice strained and calculated - as if he trying to stop himself from crying at any second. “Please, excuse me for a moment.”

You watch as Akaashi gets up and leaves the room in a slight hurry that only you’re able to pick up on, you’re given no chance to call out to him as the door closes gently behind you. Even in his rush, he’s still so caring. 

Akaashi presses his forehead against the cold tiles of the bathroom stall, tears flow down his cheeks freely as his body racks with silent sobs. His hands clench up into fists and they tremble along with the rest of his body. Taking in a shaky breath, he tries to compose himself, but the tears are stubborn and refuse to let up. He has no control over them.

Akaashi tries not to think about it - he tries not to think about the diamond engagement ring stuffed deep inside his drawer at home  - the very ring he meant to propose to you with on the day of your accident. 

It’s inevitable, as his mind lingers there almost immediately. The sound of his sobbing grows louder, as he squeezes his eyes shut for the darkness is more pleasant than the blurriness that his tears bring. Akaashi claps a hand over his mouth, muffling his cries from any unwanted attention. Just as he’s beginning to calm down, he thinks back to you and the past two years you had spent together - why had they all amounted to this, what had the both of you done to deserve such punishment other than love each other? 

The tears regain their steady flow and the sobs reappear. Akaashi whimpers into his hand - his heart aches with the thought of you never regaining your memories. It was relieving to know that you were willing to give him a second chance but what Akaashi wanted more than anything wasn’t to start anew because your relationship from before was perfect and there was no need to - he was hoping to propose to you, damn it, he wanted to do so that he could surely say he lived with no regrets in life. 

 Your accident had caused quite a scare, more than that, actually. It left Akaashi shaken, knowing that you were just a smidge close from being ripped from his grasp forever, without even the opportunity to advance your relationship to the next step. Now, everything had regressed back to step one. 

His cries grew silent over the past half hour, he was nothing more than a lifeless shell sitting with an unmoving gaze upon the floor. Dried tears caked his cheeks, chin and neck while his hand which had been used as a temporary muzzle had been wet with strings of his saliva. 

 Eventually, Akaashi stood from the toilet seat, making his way out of the bathroom stall to freshen up the best he could. 

Having just splashed his face with cold water, Akaashi tensed at the force that the bathroom door had swung open. His eyes were stolen immediately by the movement as he pulled back from the sink to observe. His shoulders slumped at the sight of Bokuto - who offered him a consoling smile, noticing his puffy eyes.

“Yo, dude, I’m here to take you home. Make sure you shower and eat a proper meal and all that stuff,” Akaashi sighed, turning to look at his reflection in the mirror. Bokuto’s smile faltered as he walked over to his friend, resting a hand on his shoulder in a means of comforting him. “I’m sure she’ll remember you soon enough, dude. The doctor said to give it a few weeks, don’t lose hope,” Bokuto shook his shoulder lightly, meeting eyes with Akaashi through the mirror.

“I’m not losing hope, I’m not losing her.”

-

Under the watchful supervision of Bokuto, Akaashi had only returned to the hospital the next day. He was served a home-cooked meal which he ate with zero strife, having missed eating proper food. A shower came next, and Akaashi changed into fresh clothing, under the impression that he would be going back to the hospital straight after. Bokuto, had other plans, as he hid Akaashi’s car keys and forced him to at least sleep before leaving. He did so with little argument, only due to the prospect that the quicker he went to bed the quicker he would wake up and be able to see you again,

When he entered your hospital room, carrying your favourite flowers (which he had asked what they were the day before, only to find out they remained unchanged from before losing your memory), he had expected your usual greeting from upon your bed.

Instead, he was met with a force strong enough that he staggered back upon impact, managing to catch his balance before peering down in confusion. His facial features visibly softened at the sight of your familiar (h/c) head resting upon his chest whilst you hugged him with enough pressure that it actually hurt, but Akaashi was much too overcome with delight to process the pain. 

Unknowingly, tears streamed down his face, having thought he wouldn’t feel such a sensation in a while. Akaashi wrapped you up in his embrace, pulling you as close as physically possible against his body, one of his hands came up to cradle your head which ushered you to nuzzle closer into his chest.

“Keiji, I remember now.”

[btswishes]

BTS Reactions: Them falling in love with you again after waking up from surgery with temporary amnesia caused by the medicine.

A/N: That vid was super cute!!!

Requested by: Anonymous 

Request: “  hii, I watched a video of a men that was with amnesia and fell in love for his wife still in the hospital and it was sooooo cute af and I thought if you could make a reaction of the boys falling in love for their gf after an amnesia??? thank youu💖  “

Jin:

 You kept holding his hand trying to clam him down, after his voice was getting louder and more hyper after each minute. Finally his face turned towards you. He said as loud as ever “Nice to meet you!But do you know who I am madam!?” he swung his arm in the most ungraceful was possible. You shook his hand and smiled. Before anything could leave your lips he yelled

   “MR WORLDWIDE HANDSOME AT YOUR SERVICE!” you giggled “I know, I have been dating you for 4 years now stupid.” Jin stopped talking and his eyebrows shot up to the sky “Me? You been dating me for like...” he tried to count to four on his wobbly fingers, showing you 5 of them. You gently reached out and tucked in his thumb “4 baby, not yet 5.” “Oh wow,wowwwww, you pretty, like wowww.Do they call you worldwide gorgeous? CUS THEY SHOULDDD!”he was becoming too loud so the nurses decided to give him some medicine.That didn’t stop him from swinging his arms around the place” Hey hey nurseeeeeee nurseeeee! Bring me some of your finesttttt water for my LOVELY GIRLFRIEND here!”

Min Yoongi/Suga/Agust D:

 Yoongi was one special patient, he wasn’t loud, he didn’t yell, he just kept looking in one spot on the wall and sitting there like he was figuring out the meaning of life.

  You leaned towards him and your head popped in front of him. “You ok honey?” After his eyes were focused on you, you sat back down and waited for him to say something. Low key you wanted it to be funny, so when he snapped out of it you could tell Yoongi.So far nothing was happening. 

 All of a sudden he turned onto his side and leaned his head onto his body, flashing you a smirk. “So, you come here often?” you wanted to burst out laughing, but tried to act serious to see how far he was going to take this “I am here with my boyfriend.” “Oh really?Ditch that bitch and come hang out with a real man sweetie.” you placed your hands onto your lips whispering “Yoongi!”he shouldn’t be cussing at a hospital, yet you were kinda hiding your smile behind your palms too. “I will tell you a little secret,come closer.”so you did “I am one of the rappers in BTS. Min Yoongi.”you sat back down looking as amazed as you could act “Oh really? But I can’t ditch my boyfriend because that is you.Want me to ditch BTS’s rapper?” he pointed at himself and you nodded. A couple of minutes silence followed before he smirked “You know, I told you your boyfriend is the coolest dude sweetie.”

Jung Hoseok/J-hope: 

 Hoseok was laughing so much when they brought him in the recovery room with you. The moment he saw you sitting there, he stopped laughing and waved shyly. You waved back and he started giggling and hiding under his covers. From time to time he would peek from under them and hide again. “Miss...?”he asked shyly “Yes?” “By chance are you single?” “No, I am not.” “Oh....” all of a sudden he let go of the blanket and looked down a bit sad. He wasn’t moving or reacting, so you thought it was from the medicine. A couple of minutes later you heard sniffing and low and behold he was crying.

  Worried you jumped off your chair and pulled out some tissues “Why are you crying? Are you feeling ok?” he sniffed “It hurts.” this made you very worried, but before you were about to call the nurse, he pointed towards his heart. “It hurts here.” “Why does it hurt there Hobbi?” “Cus, cus *snif snif* you are sooo pretty and and I wanted to take you out, but you have a boyfriend and you dont like me.” cupping his cheeks, you kissed his cute nose “Honey, angel you are my boyfriend. No one else is as important to me as you are. I don’t like you, I love you.” “Really?” you nodded. Lets just say he told everyone that walked in ,that you are his gf, one very proud baby over here.

Kim Namjoon/RM: 

Jooni was one hilarious mess. He was saying so many random facts, that most of the people could swear he was some kind of professor or teacher. He was looking all over the place, telling anyone and everyone stuff they probably didn’t want to know about, but with the medicine he took before the surgery it was understandable. “Nams, honey don’t be so loud people can hear you outside.” he looked at you and pulled out his glasses, placing them gently onto his face.

  “You are quite correct my lady.” “Thank you.” you were surprised he listened to you so fast “Where are my manners. My name is Kim Namjoon, rapper of the well known group of musicians BTS.I am sure that you might have heard of us at some point with your, might I say, very lovely ears.” you were shocked by that sentence “Honey are you ok?” “Judging by the matching rings and the lovely names you are calling me, we are a couple. So tell me my love how does wine and a nice restaurant sound to you? Just the two of us ,enjoying your beauty?” he was trying to act like a detective and gentleman at the same time “Is there anything I can say that will stop you from doing that?” ”Not at all. I now shall proceed to explain the details of our meeting.” which he did.

Park Jimin:

Jimin was one of a kind when things like this happened. You were waiting to film him, but he took longer than expected and sadly your battery died, so you had to pull out a power bank. The doors soon opened and the nurses brought in your boyfriend, as drugged out from the medicine as he can be. You tried to turn your phone on but it wasn’t working. “Hey nurse nurse!” he called out and the woman stepped back in again “I think I am in the wrong room. I don’t know this girl.” for a moment your heart felt heavy “Jimin! How could you say that!” “Miss, you are sooo pretty I am sure that if I knew you I would have already asked you to date me.” 

 Your eyes were the widest they have ever been. The shock, followed you laughing out so loud that you made the boy jump “It’s true, but you already asked me out 4 years ago and I said yes.” “So, if I asked you to marry me...would you still say yes?” “PARK JIMIN! I don’t want talk like that when you are still high from your surgery!” “I went to surgery ?” he started poking his leg “Oh wow I don’t feel anything.” the nurse told you to just let him poke his knee, better than having him talking about such stuff right now.

Kim Taehyung/V: 

Taehyung was awfully flirty with you. He couldn’t speak much since the doctor was still  in the room. But this guy was winking at you, flashing smiles and random smirks. You found it extremely funny. Each time you giggled under your nose, it fueled him to continue with his childish teasing. 

 The doctor walked out and you decided to break the silence ”Anything you want to tell me? Or you going to continue winking.” “Oh sorry about that. You were too pretty to look away. I wasn’t winking actually, I was trying to take a mental picture of you to remember, but I don’t think it will do your beauty justice.” he looked towards you and closed both his eyes making a clicking sound “There now I have at least 20 pics of you. Under what folder do you want me to put them? I have 6 names in my head, you chose one you like.” “Let’s hear them.” “ Would, You, Go, Out, With, Me.” “I have a better name Already, Am.” he looked shocked at you, that face didn’t change till the medicine weared off. The boy couldn’t believe that he was dating someone so pretty.

Jungkook:

 When the nurse left Jungkook with you he was so shocked. His mouth was wide open and his finger slowly lifting off the bed pointing at you. You were a bit surprised but waiting to see what gold he has in store for you. 

 Youtube made you believe that everyone coming out of surgery says stupid things. 1 minute passed than 2, 3, 5 he wasn’t saying a word. “Um...everything ok with you?” “You are an angel?!” this would have made you spill your drink on the wall, floor anywhere if you had one .

 “What?!” “Yeah....you are so pretty.....such a pretty angel.” “Jungkook I am flattered, but I am not an angel honey.” “Oh..” he looked a bit disappointing ,yet calmed down. It wasn’t even a second before he swung his head back towards you “I know what you are doing.” he smirked ���You are not supposed to tell any human that you are here. Don’t worry I will keep it a secret. So...how did you get in here?” you pointed at the door, answering him completely normally.  “Oh cool cool. So how does this all work? Does heaven send the most beautiful angels to Earth?” he was jumping a lot so you were worried about his IV 

 “Honey, don’t move so much you just had surgery.” “Surgery ?Oh I know! You must be my guardian angel. Waaaa so pretty.” “No, babe I am your girlfriend.” you tucked him in, since Jungkook was obviously slowly falling asleep “No wayyyyy. I am dating a pretty angel...such as.....yourself.....no,,,way....” he was out cold in a matter of seconds. Hands down you could bet that all the boys would kill to see a vid of Kookie like this. 

sorry for this gif XD XD scroll down for the better one

[crue-sixx]

Remember Me (Mick Mars Imagine)

This was requested.

You were on tour with Mötley Crüe as one of their dancers and backup singers. Also, you were dating Mick Mars. You actually met Mick through this job of course. This would be your second tour with them and you enjoyed it immensely. The crowd, the music, the energy...it was mesmerizing.

“You ready for the show tonight, babe?” Mick asked you as you were sat upon his lap in the dressing room, enjoying your time together before the show would start.

“Hell yeah,” you replied with excitement to his question. “This is going to be the biggest show of the tour. “I’m excited for it. Plus, I enjoy watching you do your thing on stage. It’s hot.”

Mick smirked at that and pat your thigh. “I enjoy watching you more.” He leaned in for a kiss and you returned it.

“Get a fucking room,” Vince commented as Tommy made fake gagging noises in the background.

“We are in a room,” you retorted. “All of you just so happen to be intruding.”

“Actually this is our dressing room so you’re the one intruding,” Nikki said in a playful tone.

“Leave my girlfriend alone, assholes,” Mick defended you as he glared at them all.

That’s how it was all the time. You and the guys would all joke around, mess with each other. You all liked each other and got along though.

An hour went by and it was finally show time. You and the guys were all pumped for the show. You took your place on stage after the guys had all come out and greeted the crowd. Everything was going smoothly. You were singing and dancing your heart out, having an amazing time.

It was during “Girls Girls Girls” that the incident happened. One minute you were dancing and singing along with Vince, the next you felt something hit your head. You felt yourself falling until everything went black.

You eventually woke up in a foreign place, hearing beeping sounds around you. It smelled so sterile and everything looked so bright. You blinked your eyes a few times to adjust to the light of the room as you started to sit up. Your head pounding caused you to lay back again quickly and groan.

“Y/N?” You heard someone say and looked over to find a guy that looked oddly familiar to you sitting in a chair right by your bed, holding your hand in his. “Hey, you’re awake. You had me so worried.”

You realized it was Mick Mars, legendary guitarist of the rock band Mötley Crüe. Your eyes widened in confusion, trying to figure out what Mick Mars was doing there with you. Where even were you?

“Where am I?” You finally asked one of the mystery questions.

“You’re in the hospital,” he told you as he squeezed your hand and scooted himself closer to the bed. “Some dumbass threw a bottle on stage while you were performing and it hit you in the head. You fell pretty hard too. Scared the shit out of me and the other guys.”

“Performing?” You repeated in confusion. “I was performing? Why was I performing? Better yet...what are you doing here?”

Mick looked at you questioningly. “What do you mean, babe?”

“And why do you keep calling me babe? Do we know each other?”

“Y/N, do you know who I am?”

“Yeah, your Mick Mars from the band Mötley Crüe,” you told him.

Mick stared at you for a few moments as if he expected you to say more. “Is that all you know about me?”

“Am I supposed to know anything else?” You asked with uncertainty.

“Hey, she’s finally awake!” Someone called out and you looked to the door to find Tommy Lee walking in with Nikki Sixx and Vince Neil.

This was becoming stranger and stranger.

“About damn time you wake up,” Vince said and grinned.

“Wh-what’s going on?” You asked more to yourself than anyone.

“Guys, I think we should go get the doctor,” Mick said and stood from the chair, dragging the guys out of the room with him.

The doctor did eventually come to the room and check you over. He asked you a lot of questions before he finally left. He went outside to talk to the guys and you could hear them as they spoke.

“It’s looks like she has a case of amnesia,” the doctor told all of the guys.

“Amnesia...but how?” Mick asked with a panicked look. “I mean, she knows who we are, but she doesn’t know who we are to her. I’m her boyfriend and she doesn’t even know it. She looked at me like I was a stranger.”

Mick Mars was your boyfriend? How and when did this happen?

“Amnesia comes in different forms,” the doctor began to explain. “She remembers some things, but it’s not all there for her.”

“When will she get back to the way she was?” Nikki asked him.

“That’s hard to say. It could be a quick recovery or it could take some time. You just have to let it come back to her in its own due time. These things can’t be rushed. You can help her, but it’s not good to push her.”

They continued talking, but you stopped listening. You’d heard enough. Amnesia? Mick Mars was your boyfriend and you couldn’t even remember? This was all so unreal and scary to you. It’s like you lost a part of yourself. How could this happen to you?

You heard a soft knock on the door and looked to find Mick stood there awkwardly. He smiled a little before he stepped into the room. “The doctor says he’s going to keep you over night for observation then we can leave.”

You nodded at him and just looked at him, willing yourself to remember anything about Mick besides the fact that he was in a band. It wasn’t coming to you though.

“Well, I guess maybe I should go,” Mick spoke with uncertainty. “I guess you would rather be alone?”

“No,” you said quickly and shook your head. “Can you...please stay? I’d rather not be here alone.”

Mick smiled and nodded as he came back over to the chair. He took a seat. It was quiet for a while, neither of you knowing what to say until you finally broke the silence.

“I heard you say that you’re my boyfriend,” you told him and he nodded. “So tell me about us then?”

Mick thought over the question for a minute. “Well, we’ve been dating for almost a year now. We met when you became our backup singer and dancer. I didn’t grow the balls to actually ask you out at first, but Tommy talked me into it. Couldn’t believe you gave me the time of day.”

You listened to him with interest and offered a small smile. “Well, you seem like a good guy to me so far. Tell me more.”

“You like to listen to me play guitar,” he told you. “I like to play songs you know so you’ll end up singing them as I play. Your voice is beautiful and so is your dancing. You insist we watch scary movies and that you’ll be okay, but end up hiding your face in my chest through the whole thing while asking me what’s happening instead of seeing it for yourself. You’re a night owl and absolutely hate waking up early so it’s hard for me to drag you out of bed in the mornings. You’re a cover hog too. I’ll wake up cold and find you with all the covers, but I think it’s adorable so I let it slide. You also think it’s hilarious to stick your cold feet on me. You hate cucumbers so if your salad ever comes with them on it you pick them off for me to eat so you don’t waste them.”

You blushed and smiled as he spoke, explaining things in your relationship to you. How could you forget all of this so easily?

“Also, you’re the most wonderful girl I’ve ever met and I couldn’t be happier to be with you,” he said. “Even if you don’t remember me in that way.”

You smiled sadly at that and let out a little sigh. “Will you help me remember, Mick?”

Mick nodded and put his hand on top of yours, which you didn’t mind at all. “I’m going to do whatever I can, Y/N. Even if you end up not remembering, I’m going to make you fall in love with me all over again. Just wait and see.”

You ended up being discharged the next day and Mick rode with you to the hotel they were staying in. The rest of the tour had been canceled for the time being with promises of making up for the left over dates in a later time. They thought a vacation would be nice for them all while you recovered. Mick rented you out a room to yourself since you couldn’t remember any of them and thought you would be more comfortable by yourself.

You were never truly by yourself, however. The guys would come visit with you or take you out to the pool for some air and good old fashioned quality time. They would talk about old times with you, but you couldn’t remember any of it.

Also, Mick spent everyday with you. He would talk with you or just simply sit in silence with you. He didn’t care as long as he was with you. He even took you out to eat every night like it was a date, which you thought was sweet of him. It was like you were getting to know Mick all over again and you liked what you were discovering. He was so patient with you.

You and Mick were sat out by the pool with the others. They were all talking amongst themselves about things that had happened on tour before.

“Nikki had us all kicked out of there because of that shit!” Tommy exclaimed with a chuckle.

“I did not!” Nikki defended himself and scoffed. “You’re the one who had us kicked out because you were being a dumbass!”

“I was not, dude!” Tommy yelled. “You’re a fucking liar.”

“Actually, you both got us kicked out of there,” you piped in.

All of the guys turned quickly to look at you with shocked faces and you looked back in confusion before you realized what had happened. It’s like it had all cane back to you suddenly and you hadn’t even realized it.

“Wait...I-I remembered something!” You exclaimed as you smiled wide and stood from the chair you were sat in. “But that’s not all I remember. I remember the time Vince wore a skirt-”

“Hey!” Vince yelled out suddenly. “I was fucking dared to do that!”

“I remember Nikki falling off the bus because he was wearing heels drunk and that time Tommy threw up on a stripper,” you continued on as the guys all groaned at the embarrassing stories.

“But most importantly...I remember you, Mick,” you said as you looked over at Mick who was smiling the biggest you’d ever seen him. “I remember now. You’re my boyfriend and I love you. Mick, I’m so sorry I forgot.”

Mick stood from his chair and shushed you as he pulled you into his arms, holding you close and tight as if you would drift away if he let go even a little bit.

“Don’t you dare apologize to me, baby,” he told you. “This was not your fault. I loved you even when you didn’t remember me. I’ll always love you, Y/N. No matter what.”

You pulled back from Mick enough to look at him and smile. He leaned his forehead on yours then began kissing you, making up for lost time.

“Get a fucking room,” Vince playfully told you both.

“Not a bad idea,” Mick commented before he grabbed your hand, dragging you out of there and up to your room. He had some lost time to make up for.

[neycrisbale]

Don’t Worry; I’ll Be There *Granit Xhaka imagine*

===========================================================

I groaned the moment I heard the alarm blaring next to Granit knowing fully well it was a waste of time for him to even sent that darn thing. I shook him lightly to try and remove him from off of me, which didn’t work at all. Therefore I began to trace his facial features until he started scrunching up his nose. 

“You do know that tickles right” He mumbled 

I chuckled, “I wouldn’t know because it’s happening to you” I said 

Granit opened his eyes slowly and looked down at me, “Is it morning time already?” 

I nodded, “And the alarm that you set, is still ringing” I said 

Granit groaned turning and slapping his hand down on the alarm, I jumped slightly as he did that. “I was insinuating that you turn it off, not break it” I told him

Granit chuckled, pulling me closer and placing his head on top of my chest. My hands went to his hair, combing through it as he closed his eyes. “Can we just stay like this all day?” He asked

I shook my head, “Nope, you’ve got a game today and I have to go into the office to get somethings.” I told him

He sighed, “Well then I guess we better get the day started huh” He said sitting up, and placing a kiss on my lips

Granit rubbed his eyes, before getting out of the bed and going into the bathroom. I’d heard as he’d turned on the shower, and I thought he’d gotten in but he didn’t instead he walked into the bedroom naked. “Excuse me Mrs.Xhaka would you like to save the planet and take a shower with me?” He asked

I threw my head back in laughter, as he didn’t wait for a response and instead came over and picked me up from my side of the bed. “Granit you’re going to drop me” I said to him

He rolled his eyes, “Oh please, if I drop you I’m not a real man” He said as we’d made it back to the bathroom

I didn’t have much on just one of his shirts and then my undergarments, and after I disrobed of everything we both got in the shower. Just taking in and enjoying each other’s company inside. 

After our shower we got dressed, Granit helped me with getting my hair dried before the both of us exited the bedroom. I went into the kitchen to start breakfast, and he sat on the island watching as I moved around the kitchen. 

When breakfast was finished we both ate, cracking jokes and telling stories before cleaning up and going to brush our teeth. We made sure everything was together and cleaned up before both getting in our separate vehicles, “You sure you don’t want me to just drop you off?” Granit asked

I shook my head, “I’m fine Granit, if I keep you any longer you’re going to miss the team bus” I told him

Granit shrugged, “They can wait for me if they really cared about me” He said 

I laughed placing a kiss on his lips, “No, go and I promise I’ll be there before you even know it” I said 

He sighed, “Alright, be safe and no speeding” 

I rolled my eyes, “I don’t speed I just drive a bit faster than the normal person” I said 

Granit laughed, “Yeah don’t do that either” 

~~~

“Where’s Granit!?” Someone shouted

When I turned around I saw it was Hector, “You looking for me?” I asked

Hector hit my shoulder a few times irritating me, “Dude what are you hitting me for?” I asked again

“It’s Y/N” He spit out

I looked at him confused, “Is she here already? Why are you breathing hard?”

“Granit! Y/N’s at the hospital” Alex shouted as he made his way over with the rest of the guys

I looked at them like they were crazy, “No she’s not, she’s-she’s on her way to the office I just-I just spoke with her” I said looking at them 

“Granit c’mon mate we’ve got to go” Rob said pulling me

I just stared at them, and once everything had settled in my mind my heart started racing. I followed whoever to my car and they drove to the hospital, I don’t even remember arriving; I just remember running through the doors and looking around for anyone to help me. 

“Y/N, where’s Y/N Xhaka?” I asked a doctor 

“Let me ask the nurse” He said

I followed him to the table, and she typed away at a computer before saying something almost unrecognizable. Once again following behind the doctor, we went into some room and all I could hear was the monitor and the humidifier that was inside of the room. 

My eyes landed on the person that occupied the bed, it was Y/N her head was bandaged and her eyes closed. Her chest rose and fell, in sync with the monitor that was hooked up to her. 

A tear slid down my eye, and I turned towards the doctor. “What happened?” I asked my voice breaking

“She was driving towards Buckingham when a car came out of no where and hit her side of the car, and then two more crashed into her front and the back of the car” He said 

“She’s-she’s okay right?She’s breathing” I asked not dwelling on what he’d said

“Mr.Xhaka , this was a pretty bad accident. Her whole side was crushed and she hit her head pretty hard, so far everything is okay her vitals are normal and there’s minor bruising. She does have a fractured collar bone, and tibia we’re not sure of anything else because she’s been unconscious since we’ve received her” The doctor said

Nothing else would come out of my mouth, as I stared at her. I nodded my head, “I’ll leave you here with her, if she wakes up press this button” He instructed

Once again I nodded my head, and pulled a chair close to her bed. Everything in me was shaking, with nerves as I’d hoped and wished she would open her eyes. 

I didn’t take my eyes off of her, every time her eyes would move my hand hovered above the button to notify the nurses and doctors. I sat back in the chair and sighed, and thats when I heard it. I heard her cough, and when I looked at her, she’d opened her eyes. 

I pressed the button, and she blinked a couple of times staring up at the ceiling.  I didn’t say anything, and she turned to look over to me. Her eyes didn’t give off anything, as they looked emptied. “Who are you?”She asked 

I didn’t get to answer, as the doctors entered the room. They ran some tests on her and discussed somethings before calling me out of the room. I looked back at her one last time before, closing the door and looked at the doctors. 

“Uh based on the tests we’ve just run, it seems as if Y/N has amnesia” The second doctor said 

My eyebrows furrowed, “Amnesia?” I repeated

They nodded, “Has she said or asked anything of you yet?” He asked

“She asked who I was” I said as I stared at the floor.

“Just try to introduce to her memories and small things over the next few days, and see how she does if her parents are near have them around and see if she remember’s them” He explained

I nodded, and went back into the room, when I entered she was staring at the cast on her leg in question. “What happened to my leg?” She asked aloud

“You were in an accident” I said 

She jumped slightly turning towards me, something that she did often-jumping at small sounds. “Who are you?” She asked confused

“My names Granit, you really don’t remember me?” 

She nodded her head, “Are you my friend?” 

I shook my head, “Oh My Goodness Y/N, we came as soon as we heard Granit” My mother-in-law said as they burst through the door

“Mummy! Dad!” She said happily

They turned towards her and both gave her careful hugs, “I’m so sorry we weren’t here earlier Granit they called us while we were on the way to the game” Marie said

I nodded, “It’s alright” 

“Do you know who he is Mum?” She asked 

Marie looked at Y/N, and Clint , her father in confusion. “Honey, you don’t know who that is?” She asked

Y/N shook her head, a little bit, “No I don’t “ 

Clint squeezed my shoulder a little bit giving me a sad look, “Baby this is your husband Granit” She said 

Y/N looked at me, “I’m married?” 

[probablyreal]

“I shouldn’t post a write up for THAT dream,” I think. “It’s bullshit. I never finished Persona 5 anyway. It’s probably not even right.” Then I called it “a very weird fanfiction that I’m 90% sure already exists” and went, y’know, why not.

(Contains memory loss, guns, panic attacks, and perceived betrayal, I guess?)

Reading all this shit will be 1650 words, so like, 3 minutes of your life.

So the dream starts with Akira/Me standing outside of Leblanc. It’s sunny; he’s just standing there, looking up at it (up at his room?) until someone notices and calls the cops. Then they realize that it’s not just some random loitering kid; it’s Sakura’s kid, kind of, and this is a big deal because he’s been missing for 6+ months. They thought he ran away, but he’s back.

Unfortunately, everything in the dream agrees with him running away. He looks fine- not a scratch on him. He’s still quiet, only answers questions when he’s asked them, and sometimes not even then. They eventually decide that it’s fine, since he’s Sakura’s kid they can let him go- but seriously, he’s missed half a year of school, there’s gotta be some punishment for playing that much hooky. And that punishment will be doled out by the school, who miraculously hasn’t expelled him, and Sakura, who still lets him stay in the attic.

The attic was being used as the Phantom Thieves’ meeting place. Yusuke’s left paintings in various stages of completion behind. There’s nature, but with excessive greys; there’s monsters, but they aren’t based on personas; metaverse scenery, with red streaks reminiscent of blood. There’s one painting turned to the wall. It’s the whole Phantom Thieves crew, Akira included, but it’s distorted; the colours, the proportions, the expressions are wrong, not enough to be outright evil, but definitely unsettling. We look at all of them, and the specific thought is like a text box popping up: “This looks familiar...” Nothing happens after that, so we clear off the bed and go to sleep.

School, obviously, isn’t happy. I guess they didn’t suspend Akira because the dude’s already skipped school for six months, are you seriously gonna tell him to leave? So instead they assign him some menial labour like taking out the school’s trash (”Task: Take the school's garbage out. It needs to be done by Friday, or it won't be picked up.”), and basically a version of detention that he would need anyway, to catch up on his studies. 

At some point during detention Akira wanted to do something but a textbox saying "I need to get Kawakami to trust me again if I want to... what?" pops up. Akira’s not really sure what made him think of that, because he actually has no idea where he’s been for the past six+ months. Somewhere. Not school, obviously, but he has no clue.

Obviously, he doesn’t mention this to his friends/family or associates. It’d sound like a cop-out, or an excuse, and nobody would believe him besides. He rubs the side of his chest because it aches, a bit; it doesn’t hurt, and there were no marks on him, but it feels like it used to hurt, you know? And his head throbs a bit when he thinks too hard, but if it’s not pain, it doesn’t matter. 

The Phantom Thieves are kind of glad he’s back, but they’ve managed thus far without him. Ryuji and Ann are the new leaders because seniority. They’ve got busy schedules, wrangling the rest of the gang; besides, they’re not sure how to deal with Akira just up and abandoning them, and also being a bit of a liability now. He does, after all, know about the Phantom Thieves, but he’s not actively a part of them anymore.

That hurts a bit. But it’s ignorable. He has to focus on his real life stuff, appease the teachers, regain peoples’ trust. But when he does, he’ll get back to Phantom Thief stuff and it’ll be like it used to be... right?

For some reason ‘fast travel’ within the school was achieved via elevators to go up, or a big plastic tube/slide in a stairwell to go down. I don’t make the rules. Anyway, Akira used the slide and as soon as his feet hit the ground and he could see light again there was chest and head pains- difficulty breathing, can’t even stand, hard to think, hard to see. He scrambles out of the way because if you thought this fast travel slide was a dreamer-only thing you were wrong; other students could use it, or the stairs.

A couple people pass by, and they just see this kid with his back against a wall, knees against his chest, panting and gasping and clutching like he wants to rip his uniform open, gritting his teeth and trying to just breathe. But it’s school, and he’s the shitty delinquent, he’s probably acting or playing hooky again. Most of them go “ehh, not my problem” and walk away.

At some point Mishima walks past. He’s pissed too, because he’s the Phantom Thieves’ number one fan, after all, but he’s also your friend...? So he stops, and he watches, and eventually realizes this isn’t an act, Akira’s seriously having chest pains or a panic attack in the stairwell. So he goes “Do you need to go to the nurse?” and it’s an out! It’s an offer of help! But for some reason Akira tries to pretend everything is fine and shakes his head, so Mishima leaves.

It isn’t fine. Maybe it’s the lack of air, or maybe it’s the pain. Akira hallucinates, dreams, or maybe remembers the Metaverse: black and red, Joker’s coat under his clutching fingertips (where are his gloves?), a gun at his head and someone muttering that this would be too easy. The voice is familiar, but Akira’s vision is just so blurry, he can’t make out the figure- just a blur of white and red.

It’s not real, right?

The pain dies down eventually. He gets up with a textbox prompting "I had to do [thing]". As he goes to do it on the main floor of the school, everything he sees is kinda disorienting, wavy and dark around the edges. It’s like sound is being filtered through water. Colour leeches out of things, then comes back. There’s a smell of baking bread, and it’s nauseating.

The task is completed well enough, dizziness aside. (Akira’s pale as shit, obviously not okay, but nobody asks if he’s alright.) The elevator’s in use, so Akira goes to climb the stairs, but promptly passes out in the stairwell because chest pain and dizziness. 

The last thought before smacking his head against a wall and then the ground is that he needs to “take out the garbage by Friday.”

The perspective switches to the other Phantom Thieves. Akira passed the Fuck out at school and was sent home; he’s resting in his attic, and they’re concerned enough that they’re there with him, despite, you know, avoiding him for however long he’s been back. I think I forgot what the rules for palaces in P5 were at this point, because the PTs break out their Metaverse Navigators and are entirely unsurprised to see that Akira has a palace.

Well, they’re together already. Why not just dive right in?

It’s not really a place so much as a game. It’s their city, but black and red, bright and bold and weirdly two-dimensional. It’s nice, or it would be nice, if it weren’t crumbling around them in slow motion. There are chunks missing from what should be sharp shapes, and not only that, but it’s like someone ripped handfuls out of the reds and tried to fill them with yellow and blue putty. Debris is falling in slow motion. As far as games go, they can defy some laws of physics- double jump, jump off the debris, etc.

They figure, well, if Akira has a palace he has a treasure, and it’s their job to steal it, right? But as they explore the palace it’s apparent things aren’t right here. If there are puzzles and traps, they’ve all been solved; if there are shadows, they’ve been defeated. Their trip takes them to familiar places: the school rooftop, the walkway, Akira’s room. All of their Phantom Thief hideouts. If this palace is a game, those would be checkpoints.

They find an obvious ‘vault’ for the treasure, and they find something they’d consider treasure, rippling and indistinct, but it’s like trying to jam a triangle block into a square hole. It can work, but it doesn’t fit. Something is wrong.

Suffice to say, the treasure they find isn’t Akira’s treasure- but what is it doing in Akira’s palace?

Morgana, eventually, wonders if someone already stole Akira’s treasure. It would explain why the palace is self-destructing, but it doesn’t tell them what they should do. And if Akira’s treasure got stolen, wouldn’t the destruction his palace be a good thing? (He’s not on a murder spree or dead...) And how did they even replace his treasure with someone else’s?

(What kind of an effect would it have, to replace a treasure? Whose treasure is slowing Akira’s palace from destructing? What’ll happen when it finally does- because Akira won’t have a palace, but he will have a treasure?)

They decide to regroup and call it a day.

Akira wakes up and needs to have a nice heart-to-heart with his friends, but it’s like pulling teeth because neither wants to say what they mean. 

“Hey Akira, you have a palace” would be a hell of an opener and probably a lead-up to “and we’re gonna steal your treasure”. 

“Hey guys, I have amazing amnesia and it’s scary, not knowing six months of my life” is just, no.

“You guys just... assumed I’d left? Did you even look for me?” would be tough to ask without the second question, and harder to answer. ”Of course we did- but Akira, how could you think otherwise?”

Eventually the others leave, and Akira tries to think about what could have happened in the last six months. He’s glad his friends are around, at least, but he’s so tired.

His head and chest (is that his heart?) hurt. He needs to use the washroom, but making it all the way there is seeming less possible by the second. At this point he decides he’s going to have to piss on his potted plant because it’s preferable to pissing his pants and I went “nope, if you piss in a dream you piss for real”.

So I woke up.

Anyway I told most of this to a friend @nishiuraboys and they know a ton more of Persona stuff than me so they said:

theory 1: Akira somehow faced his own shadow during a trip in the metaverse, splash in some elements of p4 mechanics where deny your shadow means Boss Battle, it goes horribly wrong which results in akira going missing for months

theory 2: someone else finds out that akira has a palace and promptly decides to Fuck Shit Up they face the shadow version of Akira, which a la p4 mechanics is the embodiment of resentment, frustration, anger, and despair that Akira refuses to acknowledge despite having acknowledged bits of it 

Mystery friend toys with shadow akira for weeks, sometimes fighting them, other times taunting them, but never outright Defeating him which leads to Akira hecking away for months cause his psych is literally being played with he comes back but the with resulting aftereffects of what those weeks prior to disappearing did to him

I also had No idea what happened in P4, so they tried to elaborate for me:

personas have two forms, the initial one that’s summoned and a better one either via ranking up a link or through story progression 

akira can have a palace if him having a palace means he can't achieve the second form of his initial persona because the shadow him is running amok

p4's thing with shadow basically boils down that the 'you' in the real world and the 'you' in the shadow world are one and the same and if you think different or deny the shadow, Boss Fight or Murder

[austinpanda]

Gallbladder Surgery, with Firefly

5:00 a.m. - Wake up, make coffee, then realize, “Shit, I can’t have anything to eat or drink.” And Zach won’t have any coffee, because he’s both empathetic, and nervous on my behalf, so a whole pot of coffee went to waste. I hate that.

6:05 a.m. - Stacy shows up! She’s going to do the driving. She has brought with her a gift for me, a plush gallbladder holding a handful of pretty stones it created. Basically my sister is the shit.

6:15 a.m. - Stacy, Zach and I head for Seton Southwest Hospital on FM 1826. That “FM” stands for “farm to market” which makes it sound like my hospital is in the middle of a cow pasture, but this is not so. It’s actually a pretty busy part of southwest Austin. They said there’d be plenty of parking, and they were right! Since it’s not yet 7:00 a.m. when we get there, we pretty much have the whole place to ourselves. And it’s not an emergency room, so the reception area has no one in it when we show up.

6:50 a.m. - The receptionist (who is almost certainly not called that, maybe she’s a nurse?) is curly-haired and ebullient, a bit too much for this early in the day, but it beats grumpy and curt, I suppose. She cheerfully takes my driver’s license, my insurance card and $1607.22. She prints about a hundred stickers with my name and barcodes on them. She isn’t shy about showing us the spiral notebook where she keeps all her passwords written down. Again, though, polite and cheerful!

7:00 a.m. - We take the elevator to the second floor and head for the Day Surgery area. We’re shown to a little three-sided cubbyhole room with the hospital bed, a couple of chairs, a TV and a crucifix on the wall, and stuff starts happening.

[At this point, I begin to lose track of what time things happened, so I’m giving up on that format. I blame the drugs they gave me. The sweet, sweet, wonderful drugs.]

Over the next 90 minutes, I’m seen by numerous people, completing many, many tasks. They put an IV in my left arm. Blood pressure cuff on my right arm, which is never removed until just before I’m discharged. I’m given socks. They have a name: Pillow Paws, and they’ve thoughtfully provided me the XXL-sized ones.

They got me a gown and said to get completely naked and put the gown on. “It ties in the back, so your hiney is going to be sticking out.” “Great.” Once I had it on, Zach advised it was inside out, so I did it again. Put the special socks on. Gave Zach my glasses, my watch, and my wedding ring. Everyone wanted to make sure I was comfortable and not too cold. Everyone was so kind!

They put this stuff that looked like green food coloring in my IV. It’s a dye called, no shit, Firefly. It’s something they can use to illuminate something inside me, for the purpose of making something they’re doing inside me easier to see.

They make a point of asking me the same questions repeatedly. What’s our date of birth? What’s your height? Who’s your surgeon today? And what procedure are we having done? I take great (and undoubtedly insufficiently concealed) pride in whipping out my special English Major Superpowers to give them the exact name of my procedure: Laparoscopic cholecystectomy, with robots and Firefly. (My English Major Superpower is that I took the time to look up the term and teach myself how to say it, because not knowing what my own surgery is officially called would bug the shit out of me.) They laugh. They say, “It not a bunch of robots or anything, just the one robot.”

I notice the same thing I noticed in the Emergency Room at St. David’s: Almost every woman there has a trim waist and a HUGE diamond wedding ring.

At one point, one of the women came into the room to give us The Talk About Pain. She went to great lengths to point out that, not gonna lie, it’s gonna hurt. You’re gonna have, you know, a big incision in your belly button, and that’s right at your core, so everything you do, every move you make, every breath you take, every leaf you rake, etc. is going to hurt a bit. I’m just saying, gotta be honest with you about this, we can do a lot to make the pain tolerable, but we can’t make it go away completely, so...yeah, there’s gonna be some pain. You’ll notice it especially when you sit down or stand up, or cough, or try to lift something, so don’t. The idea with the pain medications is to keep the pain from getting up to 8 by keeping it down at about a 3 or 4 proactively. She said: you’ll take your pain meds every six hours. Do not skip a dose because it’s in the middle of the night. You don’t want to wake up with the pain at an 8. Set an alarm and take the overnight dose, without fail.

The TV in the room just happened to be showing a movie I loved as a child, and hadn’t seen in decades: Halloween II. I used to watch this over and over when we first got cable TV as an adolescent. This movie was my introduction to the song, “Mr. Sandman,” which was its end theme. It honestly felt a little bit magical to be seeing Halloween II while waiting for my surgery. This may sound banal, but it gave me hope, when I hadn’t realized I needed some. Movies do that kind of thing to me.

More questions. Date of birth. Surgeon’s name. What’s the procedure? Laparoscopic cholecystectomy with one damn robot and Firefly juice. Am I a little bit loopy? Must be the Versed they gave me. Not sure why they give me this. The stated purpose is to relax me, but the unstated purpose seems to be that it gives you amnesia, so you don’t remember anything that happens next. Oh well. I was relaxed, and I don’t remember shit, so I guess it worked, and I guess I’m okay with it.

The surgeon came. He said, “Hey, how’s it going, just doing some paperwork here, we’ll get started soon, everything looks good, any questions, kay I’m outta here, see you the operating room, can someone get me a Campari and soda?” (I made up that last thing.) Then the anesthesiologist came, and while Stacy observed that he had a really rich, deep voice, I don’t remember that at all. All I remember was having to ask, “So...if I’m something of a professional-grade pot head, you know, is that going to interfere with--” He was already smiling and shaking his head before I finished the question. Normally I don’t like my questions being dismissed so glibly, but this was, in fact, the answer that I was hoping for. “No, it’s not going to cause any problems. You won’t wake up during the procedure.” Maybe I woke up lots of times, and the Versed made me forget them! Didn’t think of that, didja, tough guy?

Finally, it was time. As they wheeled me out, Zach (the guy I married) had them stop so he could give me a kiss. He said later that it felt weird, us being two big gay homosexuals, kissing in front of everybody, but it felt great that he did it. A couple of women took me to the operating room. I asked, “The boil-water restrictions just lifted yesterday...how did everybody scrub in for surgeries when that was happening?” I have no recollection of her answer at all.

In the emergency room, the first thought that hit me was, “Money, money, money. All the money. I’m surrounded by millions and millions of dollars worth of medical equipment.” Being lower middle class makes you conscious of when you’re sitting next to something that’s worth more money than you’ll make in your whole lifetime. Where does this happen? Museums and hospitals.

I scooted off my bed onto the surgery table while they laid me flat and started getting me ready. I assumed the (and this is the name of a Soundgarden song) Jesus Christ pose, with my arms outstretched, like I was being horizontally crucified. I looked right, saw my arm had a strap holding it to the arm rest, then looked left and saw the same thing.

They asked, “How we doin?” And I said, “I’m good! Except now that I know my arms are tied down, my nose itches.” So, and this is why I love nurses, they scratched my nose. I repaid them with happy sounds and a hearty, “THAAANK you!”

Then they put the breathing mask on. I didn’t sense that anything was coming out of it, and I didn’t get the result I’d anticipated, which was, “Count down from one hundred.” “Okay, ninety-zzzzzzzzzz.” What they said was, “Now take deep breaths, deep as you can...deep as you can. The last patient was able to take breaths about twice as deep.” And I thought, seriously? You’re going for my nuts at a time like this? And the other woman said, “Well, the last one was a meditation expert.” Fine. Whatever, dude. BIG DEEP BREATHS while I waited for the lights to go out. It wasn’t instantaneous, until it was. I took a deep breath, and woke up an hour or so later in the recovery room with a woman puttering around me.

Her name was Kathleen, and that’s about all I remember of her. I’m sure she told me things and I responded, but I don’t recall what was said. I wasn’t in pain, but I could feel that a few things weren’t like they were before. (Later I realized it was the stab wound in my belly button and the sore throat. More about that in a bit.) I remember being more comfortable than I’d ever been in a bed in my whole life. I knew my feet were sticking out the bottom of the bed, because I’m tall, and that felt great, too! I felt half weird, half great. Anesthesia is just the best.

The fog lifted, gradually. Kathleen puttered, made notes, talked to me, people walked by. Before long, Kathleen said I was recovering nicely and wheeled me back into the pre-op room, where Stacy and Zach were waiting. Apparently I was more alert and lucid than they anticipated. I attribute this to my life-long ah...efforts to appear alert and lucid while fucked up. They were paying off now, dangit! I was not hurting. I was pleased that it was over, because I knew it must have been boring for them to wait.

Over about another hour, they did all the things they do after the surgery. How are you feeling? You sound good. Want some water? (Ohmygod, yes. I’d been fasting since the previous midnight.) The surgery went well! You’re really recovering quickly! I seemed to be their ideal patient, and it was sweet of them to say so. It’s not that I was pleasant and funny, although they did really like the gallbladder plush, which I took with me. It’s that they liked how smoothly everything had gone, and how quickly and chipperly I seemed to be recovering.

The surgeon spoke with Stacy and Zach after the surgery, and gave them some pictures taken by the surgery robot. Apparently, my gallbladder did NOT look good. He could tell it had needed to come out for some time. He showed them pictures, and sent some on his phone to Zach, and then got Stacy’s number and texted her the pictures too, and showed them some of the pics he’d taken on his phone, just like he’d shown me in our first consultation visit. This guy really likes showing you pictures of gallbladders on his cell phone. I hope he’s not taking his dirty-ass cell phone into the operating room.

I marvel that my stomach has been shaved, and I’ve been covered with iodine, which has been cleaned off, leaving an orange stain. My hairless, orange tummy reminds everyone of the president.

Time to leave! IV out, bandaid on, blood pressure cuff off, backless gown off, clothes back on, and yep, just like the movies, they don’t let you walk out. They wheelchair your ass out. I could tell it was time when they said, “Who’s driving? Okay, you’re probably going to want to go now and get the car and pull it up front,” which Stacy did. I thanked the nice lady who wheeled me out for everyone’s hard work and kindness.

On the way home, Stacy said, “Want to get your pain pills from the pharmacy?” And I said, “Sure!” Then I did a body check: I was beginning to feel the stab wound in my belly button. I was really beginning to feel the sore throat, and it was getting unpleasant. So, despite my desire to make this easier for Stacy, since she was working so hard to make things easy for me, I said fuggit, “Um, can I go home instead?” After getting home, Stacy and Zach went to the pharmacy to pick up my Hydrocodones The charge for the 30 pills was just over a dollar. Sometimes insurance is so sweet, I could kiss it! Other times, like those $1607.22 times, not so much.

Now it’s Tuesday and the surgery is more than 24 hours in the past. My belly button hurts like a sonofabitch, but the hydrocodones and the ice pack are keeping it manageable. They make it so that it doesn’t actively hurt when I’m just sitting here; it only hurts when I stand up or sit down or cough.

Next pain pill in 42 minutes. Cautious optimism! :)

[agent-anna]

A Whole New World

Supernatural x Reader x Supernatural Cast

Prompt: You’re dating Dean Winchester and go on the hunt with the guys, things go south and you wake up in a whole new world.

Requested by: No One

Reader: Could be any

Warning: Language

A/N: Kinda long….. =====

Flashback

“I really don’t think that this is a good idea.” You comment while raising your gun higher in front of your chest, Dean scoffs while rolling his eyes.

“Y/N, we’re going to be fine,” Dean replies. “It’s just a simple salt and burn.”

“Then why are you forcing me behind you and raising your gun everywhere as if we’re about to get attacked?” You demand.

“Precautions.” Dean comments.

“Lordy Dean! Then listen to my precautions!” You whine, only to be shushed by him.

“Do you want to give us away?” He hisses.

“It’s just a simple salt and burn.”  You mimic before shutting your mouth, after receiving one of the biggest bitch faces from Dean.

Later

“Y/N! Duck!” Dean screams at the top of his lungs with fear lacing his tone,  you barely roll out of the way of the oncoming spell from the witch in the middle of the room.

“Yeah!! Just a god damned simple salt and burn!” You scream back, anger filling your own voice.

“I said I was sorry like…..four times!” Dean yells.

“Not good enough!” You scream. “Where the fuck is Sam?!”

“I don’t know!” Dean screeches, your whole conversation seems to be cut off as a spell hits you right in the middle of your chest. Dean shouts in anger, along with you letting out a strangled cry of pain. “Y/N!”

“D-dean.” You stutter as your limbs give way, quickly Dean shoots the bitch in the forehead and rushes to your side; catching you right before your head hit the concrete wall.

Everything suddenly started turning black, swirling around and around because everything just seemed dizzy. The last thing you see is Dean’s worried apple-green eyes staring into your E/C ones.

Present 

You were confused, that was for sure. You woke up in a hospital bed that you knew neither Sam nor Dean would even consider you to have let alone if you were dying. There were balloons, teddy bears, cards, and everything littering the room; wishing for someone to ‘Get Well Soon.’

There were not enough people that you, Sam, Dean, and Cas knew combined to give enough crap to even make twenty percent of the stuff that sat around the room. You squeeze your eyes shut while pressing your palm to your forehead because of the pain that came as you sat up.

“Woah woah, Honey!” A red head woman shouts while rushing into the room, dropping her clipboard on the floor in the process. 

“What’s going on?” You demand. Why the hell did your voice sound so...young? 

“You just need to lay down and rest okay, hon?” The woman orders. “I’m Terri and I’m your nurse.” 

“My nurse?” You scoff. “Why the fucking hell would I need a nurse? I hit my head on the wall…..scratch that my boyfriend caught me before I hit the damn wall!” 

“You’re not here because of a wall.” The Terri girl worriedly replies. “You were in a car accident, you’ve been in a coma for years.”

“Years?” You question as your breathing increases. “Years?!?!”

“Y/N?” A voice questions, and Cas soon appears in the room from the hall with a worried expression. Wearing a sweater that he wouldn’t normally wear with his trench coat.

“Cas?” You question while raising your eyebrows.

“Cas? Y/N I’m your father, Misha? Well, yeah I’m Cas in the show I film but you never liked it anyways.” ‘Misha’ rambles.

“You’re joking right?” You question, your voice going up an octave as your breathing started to increase. “Did Dean put you up to this? Because I swear to god I’m going to shoot him! He already got me in this situation!”

“Y/N?” The man questions as his face falls, the nurse quickly places a hand on your shoulder while giving this ‘Misha’ dude a look to silence him. 

“Y/N, I’ll be right back alright sweetheart? You just sit here and relax.” She orders, you don’t reply as she and ‘Misha’ walk out of the room. You wait till you hear the door close before quickly turning to each of the machines, turning them off as quickly as you could. That chick could not call you sweetheart, that was only Dean.

You take a deep breath before pushing yourself up and off the bed, there was a boot/cast thing on a chair across the room. You hop on your right leg over to the thing before quickly pulling it on, your eyes scan the room looking for something besides the hospital gear you were in to change into.

Finding nothing, you curse yourself for taking so long and quickly walk out of the room, avoiding the Misha dude and the nurse who were discussing whatever down the hall a little ways away from your room.

You quickly limp down the hall, continuing to curse yourself for taking so long and not being able to walk in the correct way with the god damned stupid boot on your left foot. 

Sadly you were so distracted that you didn’t notice when you bumped into a rock hard chest, you mumble apologies under your breath before quickly walking past the person but they grab your elbow to stop you.

“Y/N? We’ve been worried sick about you! How are you moving so fast? Did Misha not tell us you were awake?” The guy demands, quickly you turn around with one of your best bitch faces.

“I don’t know Dean.” You scoff while ripping your arm out of his grasp. “Put an end to this damn fucking joke and maybe we can talk about it! I want to go home!”

“Woah woah, what joke?” Dean questions.

“I get that I wronged you when we went out even though you wouldn’t listen to me when I was obviously right but you don’t have to go and do this, don’t you remember Oregon? What you did to Bobby?! You almost killed the poor man!” You angrily explain.

“Y/N? Are you feeling alright?” Dean demands.

“I’m going to shoot you!” You seethe before turning around to try and get away from him. “I’ll see you in the car.” 

“There she is! Stop her!” A voice screams from behind you as you try to go faster through the hospital, you make it to the front door before everything suddenly goes black and you collapse to the ground.

“Misha? What’s wrong with her? She called me Dean!” Jensen questions.

“The doctors explained it.” Misha sighs as nurses lift you onto a stretcher. “She has amnesia, her brain is trying to fill in the cracks because it can’t handle it.”

“So, you’re saying that it’s taking the show?” Jensen demands. “I thought that….I thought she hated that thing.”

“So did I.”

[queenof-fiction]

Amnesia (Sam X Reader)

You guys were sitting at a table in the bunker’s library catching up on some lore. There was a buzzing sound which was soon followed by the ringtone of Sam’s phone. After searching for his phone, Sam checked the caller I.D.

“Jody,” He said answering the phone, “Hey what’s up?”

There were some muffled noises coming from the other side of the phone. Sam nodded a few times before answering. “Alright. We will head that way. Thanks, Jody!” He said and hung up. “Ok, so get this. There’s been some weird activity up in Minnesota. Things have been going missing, people have been showing up dead, etcetera. They have also witnessed a strange glowing coming from deep in the woods.” Sam explained.

“Aliens,” Dean said not even looking up.

“Well, actually. I was thinking more of a witch, but we won’t rule anything out yet.” You said giving Sam a funny look. “We should probably head out soon. If we leave now we can get there before sundown.”

“They’re right dude. We should head out.” Sam agreed.

Dean nodded and stood up. “Alright, let's go.” He said standing up. “Meet here in 20 minutes.”

You and Sam both nodded and stood up. “Alright.” You said walking over to your room. You jumped in the shower and quickly packed some extra clothes. Within 15 minutes you were back in the bunker library. “Clean, dressed and ready to go.” You smiled walking in. Sam was the first one in there, then like 2 seconds after you, Dean walked in.

“Alright, let’s get moving.” You said walking towards the garage.

It took a good 11-12 hours to get there. It was now night, so you guys found a hotel. You looked more into the case after the boys went to bed. You sat there with papers scattered around you and your laptop sat right in the middle of the mess. You continued to put the pieces together. Downed an energy drink and some coffee, then kept at it. Finally, in the early hours of the morning, you concluded that it was, in fact, a witch. She has been at it twice a year, for what looks like 10 years now. You also found where she should be located. As cliche as it sounds, it's in a little cabin in the woods. You decided to get a few hours of sleep since you guys were going to go witch hunting in the morning.

You cleaned up the mess and slid all the papers into a binder you had and changed into some comfy clothes. You then curled into bed next to Sam. The moment you laid down his arms wrapped around you pulling you close and keeping you warm. You fell asleep quickly and peacefully.

Eventually, morning rolled around. As much as you didn’t want to you had to get up. You opened your eyes and looked at the bedside clock to see it was already 10 a.m. You sighed and closed your eyes again. Finally, you decided to get up. Sam and Dean were sitting at the table on their computers.

“What are you guys doing?” You asked.

“Trying to locate this witch,” Dean explained.

“Oh. There are a few acres of woods a few miles from here. There’s a cabin at the end of the main path. That’s where she should be located. Also, she strikes twice a year. Once in the winter and once in the summer. She’s been at it for a good 10 years now and that’s only here.” You explained laying back down.

“Where in the hell did you find all this information. We’ve been looking for hours and barely got a lead on where she might be located. You just wake up and know all this stuff?” Dean asked confused. He looks kind of scared too.

“I stayed up until like 4 a.m. researching. If you would have checked my binder you would have seen that the first page has all the information needed. I was thinking at 11 am we head out.” You explained.

They just stared at you. Sam laughed and nodded, “Alright. Let me guess you’re going back to sleep?”

“Damn right I am. You going for a run?” You asked in return.

“Of course.” He smiled and walked over to you kissing you on the forehead. You went back to sleep and Sam went off on his run. Dean? Well, god knows what Dean was doing.

At exactly 11 am, Sam woke you up, as Dean was getting everything ready. You sighed, “Fine.”

You stood up and started to get dressed. After, slipping on your shoes you met the boys outside. They were waiting next to baby, as you walked out.

“Ready to go?” Dean asked. You nodded and jumped into the back seat. Dean started up the car and you drove off towards the woods. Soon, you guys ended up at a small opening in the woods. You guys all mutually agreed to leave baby next to the road and just walk the rest of the way.

You guys got out and grabbed the gun with the witch killing bullets. Then, started on your journey. It was basically a straight shot to the cabin. There was only one bend towards the end which was right at the front of the cabin. It was an old run down thing. It looked more like a shack than a cabin.

Dean decided to take it the back side of the house and you followed Sam through the front door. The witch was a little old looking lady who sat at a little table in the corner. She was throwing liquids together into a large bowl. It was glowing purple and had a fog-like mist rising from it. Sam cleared his throat and she spun around.

“What are you doing?” She asked in a loud angry voice.

“You killed multiple people, Lady. It’s time to put an end to that.” Dean said holding the gun up higher.

“No!” She screamed and threw Dean against a wall. Sam nearly shot her, but she moved just in time. She angrily motioned with her hand and Sam also went flying across the room. You gasped and shot her, but right at the same time, she threw a glass jar at you. It smacked into your chest and busted open. The purple liquid that was inside the jar spilled all over you. Instead of it soaking into your clothes it seemed to soak into your skin. The same way a sponge soaks up water.

There was a loud noise followed by some yelling. You stood there frozen, as everything started to darken and look weird. You started feeling dizzy as the room began to spin. You tried to grab onto a nearby chair, but it tipped over and you fell down along with it.

“Shit!” You heard Dean yell. The last thing you saw was Sam falling to his knees next to you. You laid unconscious, as the brothers bickered back and forth. Sam lifted you into his arms and stood up. Dean grabbed your guys stuff and ran towards the car. Finally reaching the car, Sam laid you across the back seat. Dean sped off the moment Sam shut his door.

Dean knew no hospital would be able to help, so Dean pulled into a large field and ran threw baby into park. He jumped out and dialed someone on his phone. Castiel. He knew that Cas was his only option at this point. Sam waited anxiously in the car with you. While you, laid there still unconscious. To Dean’s surprise, Castiel showed up quickly.

“You have to help Y/N!” Dean said running over and opening the car door.

Castiel looked down at you. “Dean, what happened?” He asked confused.

“I don’t know. It might be a witch spell.” Dean explained.

Castiel just simply nodded and placed two fingers to your forehead. His fingers glowed white for a while.  “Alright. I did everything I could.” He explained stepping back. They all stared down at you for what felt like hours. Then you woke up with a sudden gasp.

“What’s going on?” You asked sitting up.

“The witch got you. You were knocked out for a while, but you seem to be alright now.” Dean explained.

“I’m so happy you’re ok,” Sam said pulling you close to him. You sat there confused.

“Witch? What? Who are you people anyways?” You asked confused as to why there were 3 people surrounding you. You continued to look around. “You’re not planning on killing me are you?”

The guy with long hair looked like he just seen a ghost. The two guys outside started arguing. You just sat there confused about what was even going on.

Part 2???

[dailyironfamily]

day 16 - amnesia

Day sixteen of the November Fic Challenge is amnesia! Temporary, of course, and very obviously inspired by that video of the dude who gets out of surgery and can’t believe his wife is his wife. There’s also some magic BS. Set in some vague time post current movie canon.

Waking up in the hospital is an unfortunately common occurrence for Tony. He hates the feeling of not knowing where he is or what’s going on, especially when they’ve got him on the good painkillers. That stuff messes with his head, but sometimes it’s necessary after a serious stint in the operating room.

When he wakes up this time, head feeling like it’s stuffed with cotton, there’s someone sitting by his bed, a pretty redhead. He smiles at her, tries to say hi, but his mouth feels like it’s full of cotton too, overly dry and gross.

“Tony! Oh, don’t try to talk, hold on,” the pretty redhead says, noticing his return to the land of the living. She reaches for something out of his field of vision, then brings a plastic cup to his lips, carefully letting him take a sip. “Slowly, you’ve had a rough couple days.”

Tony vaguely remembers what happened, some sort of accident with a giant robot? It dropped a building on him, that was bad. He remembers that. Why doesn’t he remember this nice lady?

“Who’re you?” he asks, getting right to the point. He reaches up and pats her on the hand where she’s still holding the cup close to him.

“Tony?” she repeats, more worried this time. “Do you not remember me?”

“I think I’d remember someone as pretty as you,” he says, totally confident.

She stands up, setting the cup down on the bedside table. “I should get the doctor.”

“No, no, I’m fine! Don’t leave just yet.” He tries to give her his most charming smile, but it comes out sort of lopsided. “What’s your name?”

“It’s Pepper, Tony,” she answers, lingering by the bed as she looks him over. “Remember? Your wife?”

Tony’s eyes go wide with surprise. “What? No way.”

Pepper frowns. “What’s no way?”

“You can’t be my wife, you’re way too hot for me.”

Pepper sighs, rubbing at her temples with both hands. “While I appreciate the sentiment, that’s not how it works. I’m going to get a doctor.”

She opens the door only to find a handsome man in some sort of military uniform standing on the other side. “Rhodey, thank goodness. Watch Tony for me, will you? Something’s definitely wrong.”

The man frowns, looking over at Tony. Tony waves back. “Wrong how?”

“Hello! Have you met my beautiful wife?” Tony asks him, gesturing at Pepper. “Can you believe I’m married to an angel?”

“Okay...” Rhodey says slowly, staring at him. “Either his drugs are way too strong or something happened during that fight.”

Rhodey walks over to sit in the chair Pepper had vacated, his gait slightly off. Tony frowns at that, though he’s not sure why. He’s never met this man before either.

“Tony, do you remember me?” Rhodey asks. Tony hates to disappoint him, but he answers truthfully,

“Not at all. We’re friends?”

“A little more than that,” Rhodey says, glancing back at Pepper.

Tony narrows his eyes at him suspiciously. “I’m married, pal. Apparently.”

“I know.” Rhodey holds up his hand, a silver ring on his finger. Pepper holds up her hand too, showing off a matching ring.

Tony glances down at his own hands, which are bare. “Wait, you’re married to each other?” An odd rush of disappointment sweeps through him, which is weird because he doesn’t really know either of them.

“And you,” Pepper says. Tony stares at her, then over at the unfamiliar man sitting beside his bed. No way he’s that lucky.

“Mine’s solely symbolic,” Rhodey adds with a shrug, dropping his hand back into his lap. “You really don’t remember anything?”

“I remember who I am,” Tony answers after a thoughtful moment of silence. “I know how I ended up in the hospital. I just don’t remember you.”

“Well, this is great. I’ll be right back,” Pepper says, exiting room.

Tony frowns at Rhodey, who’s staring after Pepper’s retreating back. “I’m sorry.”

Rhodey looks back at him in surprise. “What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything.”

“I got crushed by an evil robot,” Tony replies, even though that’s not what he was apologizing for. “But I’m sorry I’m disappointing you, and Pepper. You seem nice.”

Tentatively, Rhodey reaches out to take Tony’s hand, and Tony lets him. “You’re not disappointing us. We’re just worried.” He squeezes Tony’s hand gently, then adds, “We’ll figure out how to fix this.”

Tony really, really hopes so.

The doctor tells them everything should be back to normal on its own, but Pepper’s skeptical. What kind of amnesia just fixes itself? But Tony’s as antsy about being in the hospital as he always is, wanting out as soon as possible, so Pepper relents and she and Rhodey escort him home once they get the paperwork out of the way.

“Do you remember this place?” she asks him after they park and enter the mansion.

“Yeah, it’s my folks’ old place,” he answers without hesitation, then frowns. ��I live here alone? It’s so big for one person.”

“I live here too,” Pepper says with a sigh. “Rhodey has a room for when he’s in town.”

“Oh, yeah. I keep forgetting.” He looks apologetically at Pepper, who gives him a tense but sympathetic look.

“It’s all right. You get settled, the doctor said you need to rest. I’m going to try contacting Dr. Strange. Maybe he’s got some idea what this is.”

Tony groans, and says, “Not that guy, seriously?” He sees the look Pepper and Rhodey share and promptly shuts his mouth. “I’ll just go sit down now.”

“Go with him, please,” Pepper whispers to Rhodey, and Tony tries not to bristle at the feeling of them thinking he needs a babysitter. If he was married (which he is) and his spouse had suddenly lost all their memories of him, he supposes he’d be freaking out too.

Rhodey follows him to the study on the first floor, where he likes to go when he needs to be alone to think. He goes to stand in front of the bookshelf while Rhodey carefully sits down on the leather couch by the window. Tony watches the way he moves out of the corner of his eye, and asks,

“Something wrong with your legs?”

“Spine, actually,” Rhodey says coolly, and Tony could kick himself. God, partial-amnesiac him is a total asshole. Rhodey continues though, apparently not angry. “You made these braces for me, to help me walk.”

Tony turns away from the shelf. “I did?”

“Yep. Take a look.” He bends down and rolls up one of his pant legs, revealing the metal underneath. Tony walks over, sitting down next to him on the couch.

“I wish I could remember that,” Tony laments, looking at the brace. “Wish I could remember you.”

“Hey, we’ll fix this. Like I said.” Rhodey tugs his pant leg back down, straightening the cuff. “Pepper won’t give up on you and neither will I.”

Tony just nods, staring down at his feet. He wonders what he could have done to make these two so devoted to him. It doesn’t quite seem possible.

Dr. Strange finally shows up, and Tony definitely remembers him.

“Look, it’s clearly not magic, and he isn’t even a real doctor anymore,” he complains upon seeing him. Strange just completely ignores him, looking back at Pepper and Rhodey.

“And you say he remembers everything except the two of you?” he asks.

Pepper nods. “He remembers places, names, faces, all sorts of things. Just not anything that has to do with us.”

Strange hums thoughtfully and strokes his goatee. “Has anything like this ever happened before?”

Pepper and Rhodey glance at each other, then Rhodey shakes his head. “Once when we were dating he got really drunk and asked if I was single and cried when I told him I wasn’t, but that was just the booze, I think. Otherwise, no.”

“I’ll take a look,” Strange says with a sigh, “but I highly doubt it’s anything magical.”

“It better not be,” Tony mutters, but he sits still so Strange can do his thing. He might complain about it, but he doesn’t want his brain scrambled by accident.

Watching Strange work is always weird, but at least this time it doesn’t hurt. He feels a sort of warm, glowing haze envelop them and he just shuts his eyes and waits for Strange to finish.

When the fuzziness vanishes, he doesn’t feel any different. Cracking open an eye, he looks at Pepper and Rhodey, who’re standing behind Dr. Strange looking anxious. Still no recognition.

“Nothing happened,” he says, scowling.

“That’s because it’s not done,” Strange sniffs. “I was able to nudge you in the right direction, but the final step must be taken by the three of you.”

“Well, what is it?” Tony asks, impatient, and Strange looks at Pepper and Rhodey.

“You must do something to jog his memory. Something sensory, primal.”

The three of them are silent for a moment. Then, Rhodey says, incredulous,

“Is this some true love’s kiss kind of situation? Seriously?”

“A kiss could potentially work,” Strange agrees, nodding.

“No point arguing about it,” Pepper huffs, pushing past him to get to Tony. Strange takes a surprised step back, cloak swishing irritably around him. “Sorry about this.”

Tony wants to say why apologize for kissing him, but he’s too busy kissing back to actually talk. It’s regrettably brief; Pepper has very soft lips and he kind of wants to kiss her forever. But then she’s pulling back and then motioning for Rhodey to take his turn, and Tony happily kisses him too. This has got to be the weirdest but most agreeable solution to a problem he thinks he’s ever had.

Rhodey keeps his kiss brief as well, and then everyone’s staring at him, waiting. Tony still doesn’t feel anything, no big revelation, and he frowns and says,

“So what’s supposed to hap―son of a gun!” It’s kind of like a jolt to the brain, and he glares at Strange. “You did that on purpose.”

Strange just sighs a long-suffering sigh and says, “You’re welcome.”

“For what? Electrocuting me? Oh.” He turns to Pepper and Rhodey, eyes wide as he realizes he knows who they are. “I don’t care how that worked or what you did unless there’s a proper scientific explanation, but. Thanks.”

Strange nods. “Good evening, gentlemen. Mrs. Potts.” His cape flicks out behind him and he’s gone in a shower of orange sparks.

“I can’t believe you just kissed my amnesia away,” he says, closing the gap between the three of them and pulling Pepper and Rhodey into a tight hug.

“Not the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to us,” Pepper says, hugging him back, while Rhodey presses a kiss to the side of his head. “We were worried about you.”

“Guess we owe Strange a fruit basket or something,” Tony grumbles.

Rhodey just laughs and knocks him lightly on the shoulder. “Come on, the guy saved us a ton of trouble. Be a little grateful.”

“Oh, before I forget!” Pepper scurries over to her purse, digging around in a couple of the pockets before finding what she’s looking for and returning to the circle. She takes Tony’s hand, then reverently slips his silver wedding ring onto his finger.

Tony flexes his fingers, watching the metal glint in the light. It feels good to have it on his finger again, where it belongs. And with Pepper and Rhodey at his side, he’s right where he belongs too.

[inexchangeforyoursoul]

I’ve had some dreams since the new year started so I better write ‘em up before I forget :P

In the first one (that was also on the first I think) I had some kind of small computer on me... kinda shaped like that Rotom pokédex. Anyway, it detected errors of some kind? Or plot holes in a script maybe? It was black and the also dark display had green text appear on it. That’s all I can remember tho.... #debugging2018

Then there was a scene in our yard; dunno about the details anymore, but the cherry tree in it died and you could pull the bark and inner parts apart like.... hmmm... like bone marrow and bone, is the best comparison I have. I also caught two lizards in our garden, it might have been part of this dream. The second one glittered all golden, and once I held it and looked at it, it had about 6-8 small fins instead of legs on its sides! Was really pretty. I released it afterwards.

Then there was some dream where the only detail I remember was that mom already died, like, probably way back. I think that’s about all there is to it by now... actually, no, I also remember travelling around my old dormitory in Budapest in that one. It’s late fall or winter, I’m at a bus stop at one point.

Then I was late for my, uh... degree awarding ceremony once. (Is that what you call it? I’m a few months early to worry about that lmao, anyway, that dream is from the 4th, before I traveled up to take 2 exams.) I’m positive I was in the dream iteration of the hill with the many vinyards around my father’s place. Which means it looked much more pleasant than it is. I’m p sure my subconscious is molding it together with my short time on my grandpa’s plot, where you could actually see a lot of various flowers planted around. It was oddly close to where I was supposed to go in town, and there were trams. Obviously, I took the wrong one. The settlement looked more like my home town, however, the street was a lot like Sycamore Row with the plants it was named after. I eventually did reach the building, it kinda was a mix of the place we went to for St. Nicholas’ day and my elementary school, there even were those low benches that had seen a lot of wear. Before I could actually catch up to the others after changing(?), I woke.

Then, two days ago on the 7th, I was dreaming of some Egyptian tomb, at least that’s where my memories start... someone killed a dude, and another vaguely pyramid head looking guy got gutted with a longish knife. After the killer hid the stuff happening bahind a blanket, for some reason. The staircase behind them however was already school building-y, and the scene turned into the university building I’m in a lot nowadays. Turning back and removing the blanket, the guy himself is gome and the guts are all shriveled up; there’s a small machine attached to one of the organs, like... a way too oversized pacemaker. That looks like a transformator tbh. Anyway, next thing I know some of me fellow students are there, the first one of them is Adam, and for whatever fucking reason the things on the floor are “his”, and he’s slowly dying on me because his heart stopped and his organs don1t het oxygen anymore. He starts turning purple and all that; spots on his hands and around his mouth, then there’s a cartoony deadness-level also appearing on his head, slowly crawlying up his face. As is customary in dreams, you turn around once and he’s another person, this time Matthew, another student. It was fine watching him/them die and just talk about shit until the friends of his arrived who were all emotional and shit and dream-me caught up tobeing like that soon enough, too. It’s all as if he would have died soon anyway, because he has two sweaters, one for greeting 2018 alive, and one for 2019. (wow I jsut realized how close 2020 is... geez). Anyway, then the next and last thing is that me and the girls are miffed about the staff removing the fuckign coffee machine. (Let’s be honest, the whiplash here is hilarious.)

And today on the 9th... it was a brief one... I remember walking around in the dark, talking to some kids about ghosts and such... then I walk into a house. I’m a maid or something? Maybe? Either way, apart from the one room I start in, everything is fucking dark and creepy, only the lights from outside show the way... you can basically feel the amnesia dude on your back all the time. And all the walls are covered in switches that don’t work. Like, fuck me, right? Needle in the haystack... then the owner dude arrives, and I look for a toilet. Guess I had to go already irl, anyway, there are none and I walk out of the building to some park that also has none. The place has small-ish buildings themed from all around the world, I remember a castle and a Japanese pagoda + shop. It was Japanese because there were geishas painted on it, okay? Okay. Anyway, I make my way back through the street and my system doesn’t really keep any other info, I wake up shortly.

(The street view itself reminds me of another dream I had, from around summer... it was Christmas at a university that I positively never attended before. There was some kind of gifting among the students near the enthrance inside, and a big-ass tree next to the staircase. I go outside; it’s already dark in a big, dirty city and there's snow. I walk along the street, looking for someone. There’s a bridge I cannot cross. The sun rises with some orange-ish hues beyond the bridge and the city centre, it’s relatively cloudy.)

(The previous one also made me remember another recent dream, from last year. I was with, like, a class, but the teachers were the uni professors. We walk deeper and deeper inside in a wannabe-tournament, kind of like the running race from Boku no Hero. I get a regular old gun for hunting with who knows what kind of bullets to shoot at anyone when I come in among the first people in one stage of the race. The gun doesn’t work and I give it back to the dude who handed it to me; I go after them and enter a very Bloodborne-y part of the building. It looks like underground stables, I think thre’s also cows. Since I see noone, I decide to go back and I run into Jeb, our American teach. He leads me to an elevator to lead me out, but does not join me and just sends it down instead of up. As the thing opens a lot of people try to get in; they press some floor up, but the thing goes down again. The mild panic of the people gets contagious at this point ngl- everyone is obviously trying to get up. The next stop is some elementary school place- I follow a teacher to show us the way, but it’s just a dumb joke she draws on the chalkboard. I laugh and get back to the elevator, but take the stairs next to it instead, because fuck this, and I’m gonna get so fucking fit anyways. Except it only takes one floor to get back... I’m at the main entrance with the receptionist. Turns out the entire fucking building is, like, cursed or haunted or whatever. Jeb was just some ghost or something taking up his appearance, and the panicking people around the elevator are more lost students who have been erring around since god knows when. I see the worried professors sitting around near an office and ask them for how long we’ve been gone. Idk what they answer tbh... after a bit more erring around trying to fix things I wake up.)