#my day to day schedule has also changed a bit from when i first started so its been harder to set aside time for these

[muniimyg]

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ bbydaddy!jk (24) ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ *nsfw*

series m.list // taglist request closed

note: hihi ,, sorry this update took so long (>'-'<) hope u like it <3 personally think it could've been freakier but also planning on another extra of pregnant oc n bbydaddy jk fucking LOL so i wouldn't worry abt it... ch is lengthy fyi … also,, bby2’s name reveal 😝

warnings: pregnancy mood swings, hot tub sex (oc is in her 2nd trimester) pregnant oc, jealousy, dirty talk, breast play, some slapping, kissing, and fucking

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @pamzn @defzcl @maryy1300 @whoa-jo @taetaecatboy @jksusawife @un06 @firesighgirl @rrosiitas @butterymin @parkinglot-nights @musicjournalsjdb @kissyfacekoo @jkslvsnella @vampcharxter @bloopkook @somehowukook @bbystarcandykoo

//

so much happened before the wedding. 

for instance, you two pulled zion out of daycare and enrolled him in preschool. with all your leave time from work, this allowed you to spend more precious moments with him and while still having time for yourself. another thing is that you and jungkook finally pushed through packing up and moving homes. truth be told, you two bought the penthouse a few years ago but paused on the mini renovations due to your busy work schedules and personal circumstances. on top of that, when jungkook came back from new york he talked about leaving the company to start something of his own. 

if that doesn’t feel like a lot… you two got married. 

married. 

in the midst of the aftermath of your wedding and moving process; you and jungkook are expecting another. and wow, does it feel like you two can’t catch your breath. the timing of everything has truly never felt more chaotic yet so right. 

you and jungkook deserve every bit of this new chapter.

this new life. 

so, with everything in motion, you two decided to take a take a moment and slow things down.

to catch your breath, step away, and spend some intentional time together before the next wave of change rolls in. a cabin trip, tucked away from the noise, just the two of them and the growing baby you carry, is the perfect escape.

when the car slows to stop, you take a moment to admire the soft snow that coats the cabin’s rooftop and blankets the surrounding pine trees. jungkook turns off the engine and gazes out the window. as he marvels at the sight, he turns to you and thinks; 

there’s no comparison. 

you catch his gaze and scoff at him. 

“don’t look at me like that,” you warn. “we haven’t even made it inside the cabin. i’m 5 months pregnant, jungkook. i can’t fuck in this audi like—”

“you’re so beautiful,” he leans over and kisses your forehead. “that’s all.”

you tighten your lips and nod. 

he’s been awfully good at making your heart flutter these days… could be the pregnancy hormones. could be the fact that you married the right man. somewhere in between, you can’t even find it in yourself to question it or think any deeper. you’re just thankful. you’re so grateful for him. 

jungkook steps out first.

he inhales deeply and stretches. taking in the stillness of the mountains, the snow beneath him crunches under his boots. he hurries around to open the car door for you. offering his hand, you smile and take it. your gloved finger curls around his as you carefully step out of the car, one hand instinctively resting on your round belly. 

"oh.. wow. honey, this is beautiful,” you murmur in awe. 

jungkook tugs you close and kisses the top of your head. "it's aight. i think you're—"

"oh, my love..." you look down at your belly and pout. "your daddy is so annoying. he's such a yapper. i hope you take after me and know when to shut up."

the first day passes faster than you expect.

after settling into the cozy cabin, you and jungkook decide to explore the small downtown area. it’s a charming place, with snow-dusted streets and twinkling lights in every shop window. you wander hand in hand, stopping to sample street food���warm, savory bites that fill the crisp air with delicious smells. then there’s dessert, sweet enough to leave you both way too full but completely satisfied. by the time you finish, the sun is setting, and you head back to the cabin before 6pm, ready to settle in for a cozy evening.

the two of you curl up on the couch, binge-watching bad romcoms. between the predictable plots and over-the-top drama, you’re both laughing harder than you have in weeks. every ridiculous twist has you snorting, and you spend half the time arguing over the characters’ choices, tossing playful jabs at each other’s taste in movies. you haven’t felt this light, this refreshed in each other's company, in what feels like forever.

it’s a stark contrast to the year before, which was filled with more ups and downs than anyone should have to endure in a lifetime. even now, it’s still hard to look back at those difficult times without a weight settling in your chest. but it’s moments like this—when you’re playing a board game with jungkook, battling over a meaningless win—that make your heart soar.

jungkook, of course, refuses to let you win, which might be the funniest thing he’s done in a while. he’s always been competitive, but when it comes to you, he usually doesn’t mind losing, letting you take the victory just to see you smile.

but tonight?

tonight’s different.

you’re both teasing each other mercilessly, throwing out fake strategies and dramatic groans every time someone gains an advantage.

“you’re really gonna make me earn this, huh?” you laugh, shaking your head as he shoots you a smirk.

“you better believe it,” he replies, eyes gleaming with playful determination.

"does the fact that i'm carrying your baby—"

"no, no, no—d-don't pull the milf card," he panics. "don't be a cheater like that."

"what's it to you? if i'm a milf, you're a dilf."

the back-and-forth banter fills the cabin with warmth, the kind of joy that’s rare and precious.

every time he tries to outwit you, you only love him more for it. this is the jungkook you fell in love with—the one who knows how to make even the simplest moments feel special.

as you look at him mid-game, you think to yourself; you win no matter what.

this is the love you fought for, and right here, in this cozy cabin, surrounded by snow and laughter, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

when the next morning comes, you and jungkook wake up slow together.

over the past 5 months, you’ve been so nauseous, your feet have been swelling (you cried the other day because your old snow boots wouldn’t fit), and your body just... feels less like your own every day.

between the sleepless nights and aching back, you’ve been longing for a break, something to help you feel even just a little bit more like yourself again.

he’s constantly touching your belly and making sure you aren’t bending your knees or lifting a finger. you’ve always known him to be an acts-of-service type of guy, but he surely is a different man when you’re pregnant.

he’s so fucking clingy...

but you are too.

jungkook knows how much you’ve been struggling; he sees it in the way you wince when you stand up too fast, or how you press your hand to your lower back after a long day. when he suggested a babymoon—an escape to a peaceful spa retreat—you didn’t hesitate to agree.

he planned everything perfectly, even down to booking a specialist renowned for her prenatal massages. you both have been counting down the days, excited for the chance to unwind together.

before heading to the spa, you and jungkook decide to grab some coffee.

today, the weather is cool with a crispness in the air that feels refreshing after yesterday’s warmth.

jungkook parks the car at a nearby café on the corner of the street and helps you out. the small bell above the door jingles as you walk in. the vibe inside is laid-back and peaceful—wooden tables, soft lighting, and a chalkboard menu that gives it a homely feel, but the low hum of conversation fills the space with a quiet buzz of life.

you both are a little more sensitive this time around, but who could blame you? between the pregnancy hormones and the life changes, things have been tough. but it’s okay. things are better now.

life has never felt more full.

jungkook squeezes your hand before heading up to the counter to order, while you take a seat by the window, a few tables away from the barista station. from your spot, you can watch him as he approaches the counter, where a young woman with bright eyes and an easy smile greets him.

"good morning! what can i get for you today?" she asks, her voice chipper and smooth, a little too warm for your liking.

maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones, but… truly, there’s something in her voice you dislike.

she leans slightly against the counter, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear, her attention fully fixed on jungkook. you tilt your head and sit back in your chair a little more. this is interesting.

jungkook offers his usual friendly smile. "one iced americano, and one matcha oat milk latte, please."

the barista starts punching in the order, her eyes flicking up to meet his. "iced, even in this weather? bold choice. i like that."

jungkook laughs softly, the sound filling the quiet space and making you smile unconsciously as you fiddle with the napkin in front of you. you can hear snippets of their conversation from where you sit. the barista's tone shifts just slightly—casual but laced with subtle flirtation.

"so, aside from iced coffee at 8am, do you ever drink coffee at 4pm?" she asks, her eyes lingering on him a bit longer than necessary. "my shift ends at 4pm. how do you like your coffee then?"

you feel your shoulders tense, a little twist in your stomach forming as you watch. it’s harmless. you know it’s harmless, but something about the way she’s looking at him makes your heart squeeze uncomfortably.

jungkook, ever the oblivious sweetheart, glances toward you. his gaze softens when your eyes meet. without missing a beat, he grins and says, "with my wife."

the barista falters for a moment, caught off guard. her smile tightens, and she forces a laugh, quickly recovering.

"well, aren’t you… committed. that’s nice to see."

you catch the way jungkook's lips twitch, clearly proud of himself for the quick response. he gives you a little wink, and despite the initial rush of warmth from his words, the insecurity starts to creep in again. you glance away, pretending to be interested in the view outside the window, but you can’t shake the way your stomach churns. it’s a familiar wave of self-consciousness washing over you.

it’s stupid, you think to yourself.

but... why does this bother me?

even if he always says the right things... fuck.

your hand then drifts down to rest on your belly, the growing baby inside serving as a constant reminder of the changes you’ve been going through. the swelling, the mood swings, the way your clothes don’t fit the same anymore—it’s all there. it bubbles just under the surface. seeing someone so effortlessly pretty and carefree—someone who hasn’t been carrying another human for months—playfully flirting with your husband only magnifies that feeling.

jungkook pays, grabs the drinks, and walks over to you, placing one in front of you as he takes a seat.

"got your favorite," he says, flashing you that same smile that always melts your heart.

you force a smile back, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

"thanks, honey."

he narrows his eyes slightly, reading you like a book.

"everything okay?"

"yeah, i’m fine," you reply, taking a sip from your cup, hoping it hides the tiny lie. the weight of your feelings lingers, leaving a heaviness in the air that jungkook can sense, even if he doesn’t fully understand.

for now, he lets it slide, though you know him well enough to recognize that he’s not going to leave it alone for long.

the spa day is as luxurious and blissful as you imagined it to be. 

you tried your best not to let your waves of jealousy and insecurity get in the way of experiencing this with jungkook… but it’s a lot easier said than done. 

you couldn’t help but feel self-conscious the entire time. you couldn’t help but notice the longing gazes the staff had as jungkook walked by your side… it made you feel sick to your stomach. 

… like, yes! he’s handsome. 

but he’s also mine? so close your eyes. 

aside from that, you and jungkook had a great time with the massages and truly felt relaxed. it was so nice to spend time with him like this… which is why a part of you immediately feels guilty when he helps you get dressed at the end of the session. 

“honey, you okay?” jungkook says, as he helps zip up your jacket. 

you look at him, trying to blink the thin layer of your teary eyes. “y-yeah.”

he blinks at you. 

“is your body feeling okay? was the massage too much—w-what’s going on? why are you about to cry?”

“no,” you step closer, your arms slowly sliding around his neck and draw him in. your fingers lace gently at the nape of his neck, brushing against the soft strands of his hair. “it was perfect. thank you so much for bringing me here, honey. i love you.” 

“i love you too.”

instinctively, jungkook leans into you, your forehead almost touching. his gaze softens, and there's a tenderness in the way you hold him. he loves this. it’s like you’re grounding yourself in his presence. even though he knows you’re withholding some truth, he’ll take this for now. 

“you sure?” he attempts once more. 

“mhm,” you nod, making an effort to lighten your tone. “let’s get some dinner, yeah?”

dinner was lovely. 

it was the kind that left your heart and stomach feeling equally full. jungkook had made you laugh so much, telling stories and cracking little jokes that slowly but surely melted away the weird mood from earlier. you’d almost forgotten about the lingering unease as his laughter filled the cozy cabin, a warmth settling between the two of you. 

now, as you both lounged comfortably in the soft glow of the fire, jungkook’s playful grin returned.

“you know,” he said, nudging your knee, “we’ve got that hot tub just waiting for us.” his eyes sparkled mischievously. "let's take advantage of it."

you tighten your lips.

"come on," jungkook grins, tugging gently at your hand. "the hot tub’s waiting for us. you know you want to."

you hesitate, glancing out toward the balcony where steam rises into the cool evening air. the idea of sinking into the hot water sounds tempting, but the lingering weight of your jealousy from earlier makes you feel uneasy. you haven't said anything about it yet, but it sits at the back of your mind. 

jungkook’s eyes search yours, his expression softening as he steps closer, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

“you deserve to relax, honey. this whole weekend is for you,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your temple. "let's enjoy it."

you want to tell him. 

you want to explain the knot in your chest, the little twist of insecurity that made you feel silly. but instead, you just smile—small and tight—because he's right. this trip is supposed to be about unwinding, about feeling good again, and you can’t bring yourself to ruin the mood.

“okay,” you say, your voice quieter than usual. “let’s do it.”

jungkook’s face lights up instantly, a boyish grin spreading across his lips. 

“love you, mama.” he pulls you in for a quick kiss, his excitement infectious as he heads toward the balcony to get the tub ready.

the outdoor hot tub and sauna sit on the edge of the property, steam rising into the chilly air. as you stand at the edge of the hot tub, you strip down your robe. jungkook, who has been sitting in the hot tub mentally preparing himself for you—is more than delighted to watch you lower yourself into the bubbling water. 

jungkook looks up from the water with soft, adoring eyes. his expression is completely relaxed yet focused, entirely captivated by you. the steam rises around him, but it’s the warmth in his gaze that stands out the most. a kind of quiet affection that radiates with every glance. his lips are slightly parted, and though he says nothing, the way his gaze clings to you speaks volumes. he's utterly consumed by you. every detail of your presence pulling him deeper into that gentle obsession. (gentle… yeah right). his tattooed arm rests casually on the edge of the hot tub, but even with his laid-back posture, there's an intensity in the way he watches you. 

truly, you're the only thing in the world that matters to him. 

offering him a small smile, you finally sink into the water and sit. jungkook moves from his spot to in front of you. he opens his arms and you let out a giggle as he wraps himself around you. you can’t help but giggle… you aren’t blind. 

jungkook comes to you—wet, tatted, and toned. 

as his arms envelop you, the warmth of his body against yours sends shivers down your spine. you can’t help but admire the way the water glistens on his skin and how hot and bothered his tattoo sleeve is making you. for a second, jungkook pulls away to smirk at you… when he does so, it ignites a flutter in your stomach. you find yourself lost in the depths of his eyes. 

you’re convinced that the glint in them can heal your soul. 

in this intimate space, the world outside fades away, leaving just the two of you wrapped in your own little bubble. you can feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat as he pulls you closer, a reminder of the love you share, a bond that only grows stronger in moments like this. the steam swirls around you, but it’s the connection between your souls that truly warms your heart, making you more and more aware that this is where you belong—right in the center of his gaze.

"this was a good idea," you breathe. “i needed this."

jungkook kisses the top of your head before he moves and slips in beside you. his arm naturally rests around your shoulders. 

“anything for you, mama,” he whispers, breath visible in the cool air. he tilts his head, sneaking a kiss on your cheek. you smile as he does so, feeling like you could melt. “i’m so happy you’re happy.”

you laugh softly, resting your head on his shoulder. "you make me happy.”

jungkook’s face lights up. 

it’s moments like these where he feels his heart is lifted. there’s nothing better than hearing you say shit like that. it’s so simple but it wholeheartedly gives him the will to live.

jungkook’s hand drifts to your belly. 

“i miss zion.” 

you laugh. “even though he’s your number 1 hater?” 

jungkook scoffs at you. though what you said is true, he refuses to accept it. 

“he’s gonna have to learn to love us equally… or at least, need me a little more,” he sighs. “to be honest… i’m kind of worried about when you go into labour and the entire new shift in our family. don’t get me wrong—i think zion is a great kid. as unbias as i can be, he truly is kind. he’s curious and understanding at the same time. he’s funny and sociable… but i’m concerned that if he isn’t into me right now and he’s been awfully clingy with you… w-well, i’m not sure how we’re gonna navigate through that. our baby is going to need you and i want to protect your peace of mind and recovery… but i also want to be an accessible father to zion and leave enough time and things for myself. i d-don’t know if i’m making any sense but—”

you nod, listening to him. everything he mentioned makes sense to you. you feel the same way and have also worried about how zion will be as a brother. he’s completely capable of it and he has shown excitement regarding your pregnancy—but it’s different when it happens.

“i feel the same way,” you admit, taking your hand and resting it on his cheek. “everything is so new and there’s so much more than just welcoming a new baby… all your feelings are okay and i appreciate you being able and willing to talk about them even when they don’t make sense to you. see, when you do and say things like this—it eases me. we’re not going to get everything right. we’re going to mess up and there will be times where our priorities rearrange and the adjustment sucks… but we’ve been through worse and made it through. this is our life together, honey. we’re going to make it work. we’re going to be okay.” 

jungkook takes your words in. 

they give him a rush of comfort and feels instantly better. there’s no other way of describing the kind of relief you give him.

he believes in you so much. 

you reach over and kiss him. he kisses you back, happily and deeply. when you pull away he lets out a sigh of relief.

“in other news… yoongi and his new girlfriend? don’t they remind you of us?” jungkook begins. “like when we were dating and how dramatic we were about always being together? she lives two cities away and he’s constantly driving back and forth.”

you laugh, recalling all the lovestruck texts yoongi sent you. not too long ago, he asked for anniversary date ideas and it made you feel funny. with his past girlfriends, he never bothered to ask for help or even get his friends involved. he was usually quiet about them… but with this new one, he’s on blast. 

you and jungkook met yoongi’s girlfriend a few months ago. just before the wedding actually. she was really warm and brought a brighter part of yoongi out. you’ve never seen that side of him. he would glow while she smiled. it was decided then and there that she would be invited to your wedding.

“yoongi is falling in love again," you say with a laugh. "maybe a little fast but it’s also really nice to see him passionate about someone… and he’s grown.”

jungkook chuckles, nodding. "yeah, he’s head over heels this time."

you pause, then casually add, “she’s really pretty and kind… so i understand why he’s lovestruck.”

the silence that follows is enough for jungkook to realize there’s more on your mind. you glance over at him before finally asking, “she’s pretty right?”

“i’m married.”

“you’re allowed to think other women are pretty… l-like the barista from this morning. she was pretty, right?” you repeat. 

jungkook’s eyes slightly widen. his body stiffens, not expecting the shift. 

“i think you think she’s pretty.”

you bite your inner cheek. “because she was pretty—”

“no.”

“it’s okay,” you attempt to sound cool. “you can admit it. i won’t be mad—”

“i think my wife is pretty. the prettiest.”

“she was pretty—”

he shrugs, eyes beginning to panic. “honey, i couldn’t tell ya—“

“jungkook,” you groan. “be serious—“

“i am,” jungkook lets out a harsh scoff. “are you?”

you feel a little sick. 

not because of the pregnancy but because you know you’ve provoked him. suddenly, his gaze lowers and the unbothered expression he had on a second ago is long gone. 

“___, my love—my wife… you know you’re carrying my child, right? not only have you carried my first, second, and now third—holy shit. i don’t mean to sound so angry right now, but if what you’re insinuating is that i haven’t fucked you deep enough to feel the love i have for you then—fuck. we have an issue here. i am angry.”

you heart stops the moment he mentions your second pregnancy. “no. that’s not what i—“

“tell me now,” jungkook demands. “have i not kissed every inch of your body enough for you to understand how in love i am with it? with you? have i or have i not, huh? or should i fuck you right now so i can prove shit? fuck, ___. am i not a grown-ass man that falls at the feet of his wife—no. don’t look away. i want you to fucking look at me when i’m talking to you.” 

you tighten your lips and look up at him. for a moment, you look down and away. he caught your look and pulled you back into reality. his reality. 

the atmosphere shifts. 

“are you okay?” he asks for the nth time today. “are we okay?”

jungkook chases for your eyes. you look at him and feel overwhelmed. you can’t help it. before you know it, tears stream down your face. 

“i d-don’t know,” your voice shakes. “i don’t mean to pick a fight. i don’t know why i’m so insecure right now—i just… i didn't mean to be so sulky the entire day. please, jungkook... i love you and appreciate everything you've done for this babymoon... and i know that the barista flirting with you this morning was nothing. i know it was nothing. girls have hit on you way more than that but i think because i’m pregnant and she was so pretty—”

you let out a sob. “i know you love me and there are more important things in our life than to be crying over stupid shit like this… but i can’t help it. w-why do you have to be so handsome?” 

you hit his bare chest and he moves back, pretending like it hurt. pouting, you cross your arms at him.

“a-and you can’t blame me. you always flirt with me and get me all hot and bothered but haven’t actually fucked me in 2 months. 2 months, jungkook! what the fuck! this is literally your fault. i look and act like this because of your fucking cum—”

“oh my god,” he hisses. “honey, do you know how hard it’s been for me to not rip your clothes off? do you have any idea how i feel when i touch you and all you do is glow? as much as this makes me sound like a pathetic loser—i’m scared to. if i fuck you while you’re pregnant, i’m literally going to cumbust. i’m going to fall in love with you even more. i don’t know if i can handle that—can you? god, do you know how much this all means to me? you think it’s just me being inside you again—which, fuck, i miss that too—but to me it’s so much more. i can’t even find the words to say how utterly sick my mind gets when i think about us fucking with you pregnant like this.” 

you stare at him blankly.

“you’re pregnant—your body is changing,” he pauses. “... and i’m so grateful for you. for this divine body. you can be insecure all you want and i will do anything and everything to prove them wrong—but the truth is… i’m selfish right now. ___, i love how needy you are. i love how your boobs overflow in my hands. i love the bump. i love how flush your cheeks are. i love that you can’t bend and i get to do more things for you. i love that you want me more. so fuck. sorry if i don’t give a shit if a young barista hits on me or if yoongi has a girlfriend—i’m captivated by you. i only know you and your beauty. i only want you.”

jungkook has always loved you.

over and over again, he has shown, fought, and waited for you with his love like no other. to be frank, it feels like every day there is a new reason for him to love you. 

when you became pregnant with zion, he didn’t know how to function. he was genuinely mindblown and breathless from how much he loved you. then, as you two went through your second pregnancy and continue to heal together from the circumstances, he thinks; this must be it. 

because there is no way he could love you any more than this. 

… but he does. 

there’s something about seeing you pregnant that makes him fall even harder. seeing you in this light—happier and safe… it strikes him differently. the feeling plunges right into his heart and fills it with more admiration and appreciation for you. 

you see, it’s in the little things. 

how you absentmindedly rub your belly when you talk about the baby, or the way your eyes soften when you feel a kick. he’s in awe of how strong you are, how you’ve adapted to every change with grace, even when it’s tough.

watching you carry his child, seeing the way your love has grown to make room for this new life, has only deepened his devotion. to him, you’ve never looked more beautiful, more radiant—more divine.

the steam swirls around you and jungkook. 

instead of saying more, he leans closer. his eyes lock with yours and you gulp. he brushes a damp strand of your hair behind your ear, his fingertips lingering against your skin. 

it feels like he’s taking forever to kiss you. 

he looks at you needy and desperate. leaning in, he tilts his head and closes in on you. time stops when his lips met yours. he kisses you with such demand.

opening your mouth ever so slightly, you allow him in. he deepens the kiss, melting away any lingering tension. he pulls you closer, his abs touching your bump. jungkook moans into the kiss and you smile. then, he slides his hands around your waist and his fingers play with the hem of your bikini bottom. you let out a gasp when he pinches your ass. he pulls away from the kiss and laughs, before placing a kiss on your shoulder. 

then, he lifts his face and kisses you again. pulling away once again, you giggle as his fingers tug down your bottoms. 

“need you.”

you scrunch your nose at him.

it’s so strange to you because pregnancy isn’t that glamorous. you aren’t blind and jungkook doesn’t exactly do much to wipe the drool that dribbles down his mouth when he sees you paddle like a penguin… but seriously? the hot tub?

“in the hot tub?”

“in the hot tub?” he mocks you. 

you squirm as he successfully takes your bottoms off. he smirks as he tosses them to the side. jungkook then squats and lifts you to switch positions. as he sits, he settles you on top of him. he bites his bottom lip as he concentrates on taking his shorts off. 

"come on," he whines. "it's sexy."

“im pregnant,” you remind him. “i don’t know if i can—”

“you can,” jungkook assures you. “you will.” 

just like that, you fold.

you trust him. 

when he takes his shorts off, he helps you get more comfortable. as you sink into his cock, you plant both of your hands on his shoulders. you wince as you hump and grind on him. 

he feels so big. 

jungkook playfully pouts. “what’s wrong, mama? you were crying about not having me inside you—now that i am, what? what is it? too big?”

you nod as you come down. 

“should’ve prepped.” 

jungkook’s pout turns into a mischievous smile.

“why? this is for me. i like that you’re so sensitive. don’t you? you feel it, right? you’re so tight, mama. can feel you clenching. your fucking pussy has grip… and look at you. fucking yourself onto me like a good girl cos you love this fat cock so much. you love this.”

you nod, feeling his length in your guts. “yes, daddy. love this cock so much. thank you for my baby.”

he inhales sharply before wrapping his arms around you. jungkook rips off your bikini top and stuffs his face into your breasts. he kisses them, taking his time to lick and suck your nipples. when he pulls away, he brings his hands to them. 

he squeezes them tightly and watches the way your flesh spills in between his fingers. your breasts got so fucking big—he loves them. 

“god bless these breasts,” he hums. “you like that, mama? you like it when i play with your tits like this?” 

slap.

“say thank you to me,” he insists. “with my fucking cum, your tits wouldn’t be this delicious.”

you ride him slower. 

“thank you, daddy.”

slap. 

“again. say it like you mean it.” 

you moan as he smacks them once more. 

“thank you, daddy—oh,” you pant as he twists your nipple. he looks at you, mouth slightly opened and eyes darted at you. “t-thank you for my tits. thank you for cumming inside me and always stuffing me full. you’re so big and i’m so thankful. thank you, thank you, thank you—mmfphh—”

jungkook pulls your hair, tilting you back.

he shoves his face back to your tits before licking his way up to your neck. you feel him throb inside you and suddenly think that the jets and led lights in this hot tub add to the tension. it feels so good. 

pleasure is an understatement.

the way jungkook fits inside you is incredible.

it’s near indescribable actually. you must have saved an entire nation in your past life to deserve dick this good. you ride the high, feeling the tightness in your stomach knot more and more. then, finally, jungkook tells you to get off. 

as you do so, he lets go of your hair and takes you by the waist. he bends you over. you plant your hands on the edge of the hot tub as he hisses, smacks your ass, and shoves himself back inside your pussy. 

he fucks you, making sure to have a handful of your boobs as he does so.

it’s what he deserves.

jungkook bites your shoulders as you moan. cheek to cheek, you both begin to pant. he digs himself deeper and deeper, you swear the curves of his dick have engraved themselves into your pussy. 

“f-fuck yeah, mama—t-that’s it,” jungkook murmurs into your ear. “my dirty fucking slut. so needy and bratty when you’re pregnant. you’re my fucking princess.”

“n-not a princess—”

“you are though,” he breathes our sharply. “my babymama… god, i love you. i love this fucking cunt so much. i’m sorry i haven’t been fucking it. practically fucking self sabatoge… didn’t wanna obsess over you even more—f-fuck. you feel so good. i was a fool. i’m sorry, mama. i’m s-so fucking—nghh—”

jungkook slams himself into you harder and harder. the water splashes and the sounds of the hot tub jets are put into second place. you whimper and moan, matching his pace. he feels like he’ll lose his mind soon. 

you sound so pretty.

you are so pretty.

right then and there, jungkook reaches for your clit. he rubs on it, elevating your pleasure. 

"my pretty mama."

"oh my god—"

jungkook lets out a big exhale. “mhmm. feel good, mama? you like the way i touch you? so fucking pretty. the prettiest. f-fuck, ___... daddy’s got you.” 

he lets you enjoy for a few more seconds before bringing his wet hands to cup your cheeks. he tilts your face up and squishes your lips together. he kisses you before moving back to your neck. there, he nibbles on your skin to leave marks. 

“i love you,” he pants. “i love you, mama.”

“i love you too, daddy.”

what bliss. 

jungkook cums first and feeling the way his cum shoots inside you finishes you off. you cum seconds after and reach for kisses. jungkook lowers his face and kisses you. against your lips, he murmurs;

“10 minute break. can we have sex inside for round 2?”

the babymoon turned out to be everything you needed and more after you and jungkook talked (fucked) through your feelings. truth is, all you can really recall is cumming so much you were afraid your water was going to break. for the past 2 months where you two didn’t fuck—he’s made up for it.

once the air was cleared, any lingering tension melted away, and the rest of the trip was filled with small, intimate moments that made you both fall deeper into this new chapter of your lives. there was that one morning when jungkook woke up early, made breakfast, and brought it to bed with the most endearing, sheepish grin. 

“thought we could start the day off cozy,” he said, climbing back into bed beside you. his warmth immediately soothing. you spent that morning feeding each other bites of fruit between soft kisses, the world outside feeling distant and irrelevant.

every night, you two facetimed zion. watching his bright little face light up the screen as he excitedly told you about his adventures with his grandparents. 

“look, daddy, i made a painting for mommy!” he shouted, showing off a messy splash of colors that had you both smiling. 

of course it was a painting for mommy. 

jungkook asked for his and zion said; “i don’t know. maybe baby will make you one.”

during those quiet nights—heads close together, watching zion through the phone or lying side by side, soaking in the peacefulness—you realized just how "married" you felt. this trip wasn’t just a getaway; it was a reminder of the life you were building together, the love that had deepened through every challenge.

as the sun began to set on the last day of your babymoon, the golden light streaming through the windows bathed the cabin in a warm glow. you and jungkook had spent the afternoon doing nothing in particular—just enjoying each other’s company. lounging in comfortable silence, sharing lazy conversations, and occasionally stealing soft kisses.

“hard to believe it’s almost over,” jungkook murmurs, his fingers gently tracing circles on your back as you rested against him. you hummed in agreement, feeling completely at ease as if all the worries and stresses from before had melted away during your stay.

“i could stay here forever,” you replied with a soft smile, half-joking but meaning it more than you’d care to admit. “but i miss zion and the mom guilt is hitting so hard right now.”

jungkook chuckled and kissed the top of your head.

“do you think he misses me?”

you laugh and then cover your mouth. “did you get funnier or something?”

“haha,” jungkook rolls his eyes. “i really fucking hope this baby likes me more.”

you laugh again, sinking further into him. you rest your hand over your belly. your eyes widen when you feel a kick, you grab jungkook’s hand and place it on top of the spot. 

“i think baby will.” you say softly. "hey, we can talk about baby names on our way home! i’m excited.” 

and just like that, the babymoon comes to a quiet, contented end. nothing dramatic or grand—just the two of you, basking in the love and peace that had surrounded you for the past 10 days. 

as jungkook drives, the soft glow of the setting sun filtered through the car windows. jungkook hums to a the music playing. the gentle melody soon turns into him singing softly, his voice filling the car with a soothing warmth.

your hand rested on your belly, and almost as if on cue, you felt a tiny kick. the baby reacts to his singing, little movements following the rhythm. you laugh quietly, placing your other hand over his. "someone’s already a fan of your voice," you said, glancing at him.

he grins, continuing to sing as he squeezes your hand. "oh? i guess i’m the favourite. in your face, mama," he jokes. “finally…” but there’s a hint of emotion in his eyes. as though the simple act of singing to your baby makes everything feel even more real.

you laugh and gaze out the window. 

"yeah. baby likes your voice," you reply, giving his hand a squeeze. 

“you okay?” jungkook asks. “what’s with that look? what’s on your mind, honey?”

"i was just thinking... about names."

jungkook raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "oh? got any ideas?"

you hesitate for a moment, then the name just slips out. 

"zia,” you reveal. “what do you think of zia? i saw it a few times online and in the baby name book… i called her zia once last week and she kicked. the name itself connects to light, family, and brilliance… radiance."

he repeated it under his breath, testing it out. 

"baby zia… i like it." jungkook smiles warmly, taking your hand and kissing it.

you smile back, feeling a sudden surge of love for both jungkook and the tiny life you were bringing into the world.

the name feels right, like it had been waiting for you all along. you can’t wait to get home and share the news with everyone. you can’t wait to go home together, hug and kiss zion, and fall asleep next to your husband.

everything has fallen into place and life is truly so beautiful.

[neeeooon]

i think otoya is the kind of person who is aware that he is capable of changing his ways with girls when he finds the “one”, but he’s never truly believed in that. but when when like a girl transfers it’s quite literally love at first sight and he wants to change for her. you can decide whether she gets with him or not, thanks so muchh !! ^^

aww yes i love this idea tysm!!

love of my dreams

otoya eita x fem!reader. ft. karasu and yukimiya. love at first sight. fluff, crack, otoya is a bit weird at the start, cussing, slight death/kms joke at the end. wc: 810

“fuck.”

otoya just told karasu and yukimiya how much he liked his bachelor life. how he wasn’t ready to change. to settle down.

and then you just had to walk through those damn doors.

“fuck.”

you had a guide at your side, telling otoya you were a transfer student. his eyes were glued on you, and every step you took, unable to tear his gaze away. he wanted to know your name, where you transferred from, and what you were studying. probably something similar to him, as you were being toured through his building.

a sharp jab caused him to curse again, and otoya shot a glare at karasu and the cheap plastic butter knife he’d been stabbed with. “yer staring.”

“of course i’m staring. i’m in love.”

“you don’t do love,” yukimiya chimed with a snicker before shoving a forkful of salad into his mouth. “that’s your whole thing.”

otoya didn’t want it to be his whole thing anymore—not after seeing you.

he continued to think about you through the rest of his lunch, then his classes, his drive home, and even while he was texting yukimiya for answers to their finance homework. he didn't believe in love at first sight, at least he didn't think he did. you changed that so quick, otoya was still reeling six hours later.

otoya: i need her number

otoya: pls be my spies pls pls pls

karasu: i never thought i'd see down bad otoya like for real and not just to get pussy

otoya: is that a yes

karasu: for all we know she has a boyfriend

yukimiya: or a girlfriend

otoya: GODDDD IM GOING INSANE I NEED HER SO BAD

otoya: she's the one for me. i'm done. no more playboy otoya.

yukimiya: if you're serious. REALLY SERIOUS. i'll help

karasu: same ig

otoya: there's a special place in blowjob heaven for you two 🙏

and two days later, with the help of yukimiya and karasu, otoya had intel. they also told him you had a gap in your schedule and ate lunch by yourself in the dining hall.

and when otoya saw you? he was nervous.

your hair was pulled away from your face, the eraser-end of your pencil tapping your lips as you concentrated so hard on your homework that a delicate crease formed between your brows. otoya wanted to smooth it out with his thumb and kiss the spot instead.

shaking his head, his grip tightened around his sandwich as he slowly approached you. when you looked up, otoya felt his face grow hot. "sorry to bother you. is this seat taken?"

you rapidly shook your head and gestured to the chair. "no, no, you can take it! just make sure you put it back—"

"i mean, is it okay if i sit here?" he quickly cut off with a small grin, his chest fluttering when you blushed in embarrassment.

you dropped your pencil to hide your face in your hands. "oh my god, i'm so... yeah, yes, you can sit here." shaking your hands out to release some of the stress, you flashed a bright smile. "i'm y/n."

“otoya,” he greeted casually, as if a flock of butterflies didn’t make a home in his stomach.

you repeated his name quietly to yourself before nodding. “i think i’ve seen you in this building before. what are you majoring in?”

when he told you, your eyes lit up so brightly that otoya swore they glittered. “no way! me too! weird that we don’t have any classes together, though. maybe next semester!”

the rest of the time spent before your next class was filled with the two of you talking. otoya thought he'd fail at the genuine small talk thing since he didn't want to use any of his usual lines on you, but he was surprised at how easy it was. whenever he got quiet, you were right there to pick up where he left off.

"this might be too soon," otoya started as he walked you to your class. "but would you want to hang out again tomorrow?"

your smile faltered slightly, and otoya was ready to jump over the rail and fall to the first floor. it wasn't too far down, so he probably wouldn't die, but if he hobbled in front of a truck right after—

"i don't have this class tomorrow," you explained gently. "but would thursday work instead?"

fireworks exploded behind otoya's eyes, along with the relief of no longer needing to die. he readjusted his grip on his bag strap and flashed you a slow grin. "thursday works. same spot as today?"

you beamed. "yep! oh, and here's my number, in case i'm late or we have to reschedule!"

otoya knew, as you entered your name into his phone with a cute emoji, that he would eventually die a happy man.

[tikitakatia]

Fixer Upper — A. Putellas x Reader

"Couples Therapy"

WC: 1.4k

Summary: Alexia´s invited you to attend an impromptu therapy session that´s meant to help bring you closer together, much to your chagrin.

You should’ve known something was off when Alexia insisted on being early.

She’s never early for anything. Not brunch, not birthdays, not even her own surprise party, which she managed to be twenty minutes late for. The only time she runs on schedule is when she’s getting paid for it. So when she’s already dressed, keys in hand, and bouncing on the balls of her feet fifteen minutes before you’re supposed to leave, your internal alarm bells start softly ringing.

“We’re gonna be late,” she says.

You glance at your phone. “It starts in thirty minutes.”

“Exactly. What if there’s paperwork?”

“You hate paperwork.”

She just grins that stupid grin. The one she gets before she does something outrageous and claims it’s romantic. You eye her warily but still let her drag you out the door, because you’re a fool.

The office is in a coworking space downtown. It has exposed brick, too many succulents, and a suspiciously cheerful front desk attendant who offers you organic mints from a jar labeled "for emotional clarity."

The waiting room is... unconventional. No couch, no fidget toys, just scattered bean bags, color-changing LED lights, and a TV screen looping stock footage of couples doing yoga. You sit and wait, but as the seconds pass, you start to feel the creeping edge of concern.

“Is this a tech startup or a therapy office?” you mutter.

“Babe. Chill. It’s probably a modern approach or something.” Alexia’s already opened her complimentary LaCroix.

Before you can ask what that even means, a woman with aggressively symmetrical eyebrows and a t-shirt that says “LOVE IS A JOURNEY, LET US BE YOUR GPS” steps into the room.

“Hi! I’m Maya 😊” she says, the smiley face emoji somehow audible in her tone.

“Thanks for joining our guided couples session. If you’ll follow me, we’ll begin with a light partner diagnostic and then a few reflection prompts in the group circle.”

You blink. “Partner diagnostic?”

Alexia pats your leg. “See? Modern.”

You follow Maya into a room filled with more bean bags, a couple of ring lights, and a half-circle of already-seated couples. You take your seats. You try to stay open-minded and remind yourself that you agreed to this.

“Okay,” Maya says, clapping once.

“Before we begin, just a quick heads-up that we’ll be exploring five core compatibility questions designed to help you reflect and deepen your bond. This is a judgment-free zone, so feel free to be honest and vulnerable. Or silly! We love silly geese here!”

You watch as one couple high-fives. Another is wearing matching sweatshirts that say “Love is a Verb.” You suppress a shudder.

The first prompt comes with no warning.

“So! What’s one habit your partner has that drives you a little bit crazy but is also kind of endearing?”

You look at Alexia. Alexia is already smiling.

“She growls at her phone when she’s annoyed,” she says, without missing a beat.

“Like a little thundercloud trying to send emails.”

You stare. “I do not.”

“She does. It’s like grrrrr, but about as threatening as a pomeranian.”

“I swear to God, Alexia.”

Maya beams. “That’s such a vivid image! Okay, your turn.”

You cross your arms. “She steals my food.”

Alexia gasps, offended. “I protect you from health scares.”

“No, you order some healthy shit, decide that you don't like it, and then eat half my fries.”

“But amor, I love you.. And your fries.”

You glance around and see other couples who are nodding and laughing like this is all very charming. One woman is crying into a man’s shoulder about how she finally feels seen. You’re starting to feel... deeply unwell.

Maya claps again. “Let’s move on to the next reflection. Imagine your partner’s had a hard day. How do you support them?”

Before you can answer, Alexia grips your hands dramatically.

“Babe,” she says. “You’ve had such a long day being mean and scary. Do you want me to run you a bath or hide your laptop?”

“I will destroy every LaCroix in this building.” You hiss under your breath.

“She’s really opening up today.” She turns to the group.

You grind your teeth so hard your jaw pops.

“We love that emotional safety.” Maya nods solemnly.

The third question hits like a sideswipe: “If your relationship were a team sport, what would your roles be?”

Alexia lights up. “Well football of course! I’m still the midfielder. She’s defense. No one gets past her. Or speaks to her. Or makes eye contact.”

“I’m filing for free agency.” You deadpan.

A man across the circle pipes up, “My wife’s the goalie. She blocks all my bad ideas.”

You glance at him. He’s wearing socks with hotdogs on them and a fanny pack. You make a mental note to investigate further.

“Let’s keep the good vibes going,” Maya trills. “If your partner were a dessert, what would they be and why?”

You nearly choke. “How is that therapy?”

Alexia doesn’t miss a beat. “She’s a molten lava cake. Looks intense. Bad for your health. But if you wait it out... gooey on the inside.”

“You’re deranged.” You say as you stare her down.

“I’m romantic.”

You glance around again. One couple is whispering into a shared AirPod. Another has been feeding each other dried mango slices like birds. You feel like you’re trapped in a quack health influencer’s fever dream.

By the time Maya announces the final question, you’re already halfway to existential collapse.

“What’s something your partner doesn’t know you appreciate about them?”

You look at Alexia. And you know you could make a cutting joke. You want to. But instead, your mouth says something soft.

“She makes everything fun. Even when I don’t want it to be.”

Alexia blinks.

You add, “She’s chaos. But she’s mine.”

There’s a collective “awww” from the room. Alexia practically preens.

She says, “I was gonna say your ass. But that works too.”

You rub your eyes with both hands.

Maya beams. “Wonderful reflections, everyone. And just a quick housekeeping note, if you haven’t already, please complete the feedback form in the app so we can send you your 15€ Amazon gift card!”

You freeze.

Your brain hits a wall and reverses.

You glance at Maya. Then at Alexia. Then back at Maya, slower this time.

“Sorry,” you say, like someone testing the edge of a knife. “Did you say... app?”

“MindMatch!” Maya chirps. “Thanks again for being part of our beta testing group. Your responses really help us shape the user experience!”

There’s a faint ringing in your ears. You turn, mechanically, to Alexia.

She is suddenly very interested in the condensation on her LaCroix.

“This,” you say, with the voice of someone holding in a scream, “isn’t therapy.”

“It’s kind of therapy,” she says into her can.

“It’s market research.”

“It’s couples bonding through market research.”

“Alexia.”

She shrugs, not even a little sorry. “We got to talk about our feelings, didn’t we?”

“We got ranked on vulnerability and made to roleplay in front of strangers so someone in a WeWork could optimize user retention.”

“And,” she adds brightly, “we’re getting gift cards.”

“You are a millionaire. Why are you like this?” You ground out.

“I love prizes.”

You squint at her like you’re trying to set her on fire with your eyes. She smiles like she’s already won.

“You tricked me.”

She slides an arm around your waist as you start walking out. “And yet, you said I’m your chaos.”

“I meant that like someone might say that child has a knife.”

She leans on your shoulder. “Still counts.”

You sigh so deeply you feel it in your spine. “I want you to know I’m never trusting you again.”

“Lies.”

“I’m filing for emotional damages.”

“You smiled.”

“Out of shock.”

“You called me your chaos and said I make things fun.”

“I was having a medical episode.”

She stops just outside the building and grins at you. “Come on. It wasn’t that bad.”

You eye her. “I roleplayed a fake meltdown and told strangers about your food theft.”

“And now you’re stronger for it.”

“I hope your next smoothie explodes.”

She’s still grinning. “Wanna get dinner? I’ll let you order fries.”

“You’ll steal them.”

“Just a few. For bonding.”

You shake your head.

And you really do hate it, how easily she wins. How quickly she turns a disaster into something weirdly warm. You sigh again.

But your mouth betrays you and twitches up at the corners.

Because she may have lured you into a glorified dating app workshop disguised as therapy, and you may never recover from the secondhand embarrassment of being called “a thundercloud with trust issues” in public, but she’s yours.

And you’re hers.

And yes, she’s chaos.

But somehow, you're a molten lava cake.

And unfortunately?

She’s got a spoon.

[district4loading]

A Trip

Le Sserafim Yunjin x Male Reader

8k Words

Content Warning: smut, very fluffy, a little bit of angst cause reader has daddy issues (why not), lots of plot

Minors DNI

A/N: Hello fearnots!! I took a small step out of my comfort zone to (happily) fulfill a request from one of my followers. I hope they enjoy it and I hope you all do too!

Also most of the information I got about Yunjin is from google so feel free to message me if it's wrong. I will change it.

(So sorry if there are typos, i proofread this at midnight lmao.)

-

Nothing could lighten your mood like Yunjin, she's perfect for you

-

You wake up hearing the loud hum of the airplane fill your ears, it was a sound you were all too familiar with by now, a sound that often times meant work. You keep your eyes shut, shuffling in your seat to turn your head away from the vibrant daylight that shone through the window, breaching your eyelids. Then you hear whats probably the pilots rough voice on the intercom, muttering something about preparing for landing. That's when your eyes finally open and almost immediately they meet a pair of eyes so beautiful you can't help but smile.

It's your girlfriend Yunjin. You've been together for eight months and some change now but due to your conflicting schedules, you haven't been able to spend much quality time together recently. So the second you two found an open window you took it and decided to do something with the short week you had off. You're heading to Boston so she can meet your family for the first time, then the plan is to go on a mini roadtrip to Albany so you can meet her parents too then after that get a hotel and relax, maybe even head to the city.

The chances of your schedules being free at the same times are really slim so you want to make the most of your time together. 

Yunjin smiles softly when you wake up and you begin to start wondering how long she's been watching you. "How did you sleep?" You stifle a yawn, stretching your arms and legs a bit as the plane begins to descend, feeling a slight discomfort in your ears.

"I didn't"

You quickly go from being tiredly relaxed to being slightly concerned "Jen, it's been thirteen hours. What do you mean you didn't sleep?" There's another yawn that tries to come out while you're talking, you manage to suppress it but it still makes you teary eyed as your body was still trying to get over the effects of waking up.

"I couldn't, I don't know I've just been thinking a lot" She chews her bottom lip nervously before speaking again "I'm about to meet your parents, you know? It's a little nerve wracking"

Theres a gentle smile that grows on your face when you realize why she hasn't slept, you think it's cute. "You have nothing to be nervous about, they will love you. We're gonna go over there and we're gonna spend the day with them and it's gonna be great" You try to reassure her, a small chuckle escaping your lips.

Yunjin pokes out her bottom lip and tilts her head to rest on your shoulder for a bit "You sure?" 

"Yeah baby" You nod before leaning over to plant a kiss on her forehead, catching a whiff of her hair. 

The plane lands and you two do your best to get through customs and everything without any troubles and you can't help but notice how easy it is. No fans, no paparazzi, no bodyguards, no extensive amounts of suitcases, just you and Yunjin. The feeling was sort of bittersweet to you, on one hand it was nice not having to push through crowds of people but on the other, you kind of missed the support, the "I love you's," the look of genuine support on the faces of your fans. "What are you in your head about now?" Yunjin taps your arm as you roll two big suitcases through the airport. You glance at her and hum, not yet processing the question "You were making that face again"

"What face?"

"That face you make when you're thinking about something too hard" She responds cleverly causing you to roll your eyes slightly.

She gives you a moment, allowing you to be silent as you try to figure out how to convey what you want to. "Don't you miss it?" You ask a bit vaguely, assuming that she'd get what you were talking about. When you only get a confused look from her you begin to expand on it "The attention, the fans.. you know.” You almost cringe at yourself, feeling like a little bit of an attention whore.

Which… you kind of were, otherwise you wouldn’t have be an idol

"Oh" Yunjin pauses, then gets visibly confused "A little bit, I mean it's really wholesome the nice things they say and the little interactions... but isn't this more peaceful?"

"Yeah, I don't know it's just weird being in an airport for something other than work" You say as you walk through the double doors, inhaling the all but fresh scent of Boston air. The smell of home. You pull out your phone and shoot your father a message asking where he was parked and you get one back almost immediately "They're a little farther down" You nod in the direction where they were parked towards, a disorder of cars and angry drivers honking.

Yunjin's starting to get nervous again and you catch it immediately so you take her hand in yours "Hey, just breathe" You tell her before bringing it up to leave a kiss on her knuckle for comfort. She nods and you both begin to walk around the outside of the airport, wondering how and why there were so many people there at eight in the morning.

You eventually spot your parents’ silver SUV and you point it out to Yunjin. She makes eye contact with your parents who are standing there waiting for you and she feels her nerves coming up again, but she manages to tell herself everything will be okay thanks to you. You roll the suitcases near the car "Hey mom, hey dad" You greet them with hugs so tight and loving that you think you might pop all while Yunjin stands there awkwardly. You step back next to her "This is my girlfriend, Yunjin"

"We know her name by now, she's all you talk about" Your mother says, brushing past you. Yunjin puts her hand out thinking that your mom was going for a handshake but instead she pulls her in for a hug. You winced a bit, feeling like you should've maybe warned her about how much your mom likes to give hugs. "It's great to finally meet you, you can call me mom" She says, holding onto her arms when she pulls away. Your mom looks Yunjin up and down, a look of pure adoration in her eyes "She's so pretty and she's so tall I might have to steal her from you" Your mom turns to you before backing up and you both just awkwardly laugh at the older woman's humor.

"Nice to meet you" Your father reaches his hand out to shake hers, firm and proper then he looks at you "Your sisters are home, they didn't want to come for the ride" He shrugs as he grabs one of your suitcases to load in the car. Your mom and Yunjin get inside and as you expected, your mom is talking her ears off, you snicker, hoping it's not too overbearing. "So whats the plan?" Your father asks as you help him with the bags.

You take your eyes off of the girls. "What plan?"

"With her, you really like her? are your fans going to be okay with it?" He purposefully lowers his voice so they can’t hear.

Your father was the reason you got into the industry in the first place. When you were fifteen he packed your bags and sent you down to SM entertainment--on the other side of the world--to train in hopes that you'd make your big break. Why at a company like that? You had no clue. But one thing you were sure of was that your relationship with him has never been the same since then. It's also quite relevant to add that he was a trainee when he was younger but he never made the cut, deciding to instead to move to the states for college and lead a normal life.

So he knew enough to know what could happen if you went public with your relationship. 

You give him a look and you're kind of annoyed that he's bringing it up now. He thinks your career is the most important thing and in his eyes, relationships were merely just scandals waiting to happen. He didn't see the point in them, so when he found out that you were dating Yunjin, he obviously didn't approve. But you never cared about what he thought because she's the love of your life. "I don't just like her dad. I love her and the fans will just have to deal with it if we decide to go public"

"But you won't" He says it in that matter-of-fact tone. The one that you hate and he knows you do. Maybe it's immature, but you held a lot of contempt for him deep inside of you because of the way he's run your entire life. Now he's trying to do the same right now and you won't let him because you're older. You're your own man.

There's something about him that just makes you want to rebel and do something crazy out of nothing but pure spite. Something drastic like posting a picture of you and Yunjin kissing just to show him that he doesn't run your life.

You couldn't do that though, mainly for company reasons. "Remember to be careful Y/n, your career is everything, your brand is everything. You haven't even been able to go solo from your group yet and if you want to-"

"I don't wanna talk to you about this" You slam the trunk closed a little harder than you should've, most likely startling Yunjin and your mom then you walk around to get into the backseat.

Yunjin tilts her head, laughing a bit "Why'd you close the trunk so hard" You shrug, trying to make it seem like everything was okay but it wasn't. Not when your dad's being an asshole again. You we're hoping he'd show a little respect for the occasion but then again, he's him. You shouldn't have expected anything. "You okay?" She gets a bit more concerned noticing the change in your demeanor and that's when your dad gets into the car and starts the engine.

"Yeah no everything's fine"

Yunjin knows you too well. She recognizes that tone and she can tell somethings bothering you but she doesn't say anything, knowing that you don't want to talk about it. "Okay" She subtly takes your hand into hers as the car begins to move, silently telling you that she's there for you. She'll always be. "Well, your mom was just telling me about how gross you were as a kid..." She says, triggering a long lost memory in the back of your mind and you're almost betrayed that your mother would tell her about it. 

"Mommm! Come on!" You complain and the car bubbles with laughter, some coming from you as well even if you were embarrassed.

-

The car ride ended up being full of conversation and good energy. It lightened your mood to see how quickly Yunjin and your mom got along with each other. You expected for the short exchange you had with your dad to kill your mood, maybe even have you bothered for the entire day. He has that effect on you. But for once he doesn't and maybe its cause Yunjin had your hand in hers, moving her thumb to rub your knuckles for extra comfort.

Nothing could lighten your mood like Yunjin, she's perfect for you

When you arrive, your dad pulls into the garage where you look over and see your car. The car you plan on driving all the way down to Albany to see Yunjin's parents. You get out and walk into the house where both your sisters are sitting on the couch, Sarah and April. They look up at you, their eyes lighting up the brightest you've ever seen them.

"Oh my god, I can't believe my lame ass brother is actually dating a member of Le Sserafim" Sarah, the older among the two teases like she always did. It's good to know she still has that fire in her.

"I havent even been here for a minute and you're already bullying me" You fake complain, silently enjoying the playful relationship you shared with her. Yunjin purses her lips to stifle a laugh as you walk over to put Sarah in a fake headlock and hold her there right up until she's saying sorry. It was your big brother, little sister dynamic and you were glad that after all this time she was still willing to play along with it no matter if she was getting older or not.

The youngest, April kind of looks a bit shy and you know exactly why. "Oh... I forgot to say, April really likes Le Sserafim" You mention to Yunjin who continues to smile even bigger after taking in the flattering information. She walks over to the couch and takes a seat next to her. 

You just watch as she tries her best to get your sisters comfortable with her, cracking jokes to make them laugh. She was more natural at meeting people than she'd ever give herself credit for. You turn to your mom "I need the keys for my car" You mention as you walk with her up the stairs, leaving the others downstairs.

"How long are you staying?"

"Maybe three hours, then we have to head down to Albany. It's a long drive so I don't want to leave too late" You explain she gives you a look, an inquisitive hum leaving her throat as she moves to open the bedroom door.

"I thought you were going to stay here for the night, change of plans?" You nod and you just shrug but then she gives you a look, one that says to cut the bullshit and tell her what you're feeling.

"Dad's being.. dad again. I don't want to spend too much time under the same roof as him" You mutter, leaning against the king sized bed as you watch her fish through a drawer for your keys. 

She pauses for a minute, a small sigh escaping her lips and you already know whats coming. A water-downed attempt to defend the indefensible "He just wants the best for you, you know" She closes the drawer after finding the keys and puts them in your hands, acknowledging your unconvincing glare. 

"Yeah, right. Did he also want the best for me when he sent me to train at a company that doesn't give a fuck about me?" You ask, not meaning for there to be so much hostility in your tone. Hell, you didn't even mean to curse at her. It just got on your nerves that she'd ever begin to defend him, especially with the whole 'he's doing it in good faith' argument because if he was, he would've let it be your choice to begin with. Not just the choice of company, but the decision to go to Korea in the first place.

She flinches at your language and you apologize shortly after. You move to leave the room, ready to head off downstairs to see what Yunjin and your sisters were doing when your mother holds your arm. "Before you go and leave forever, talk to me, tell me about how everything's been going in Korea. I haven't seen my son in months and he's already leaving after spending what? two seconds here?" 

"Sorry" You apologize and its genuine, like actually. 

-

You ended up staying and talking about basically everything that's happened in this past year with your mom, who was always a really good listener. She gave great advice about how to solve some of your problems when you go back. It was a good maybe half hour long heartfelt conversation. One that you had with her often over the phone but it's even better in person.

"I should probably get back, Yunjin's probably wondering where I am" You stand up and stretch your arms a bit. Then you leave the room. When you get down stairs, you see Sarah and April and they're watching something in the living room. Theres a moment where you look around in confusion before asking "Where's Yunjin?"

"In the garage with dad" April shrugs, not even bothering to look away from the TV. 

Your heart sinks.

"Fuck" You mutter as you walk over to the garage, already knowing what he was trying to do. You walk through the garage door and they're talking. His demeanor was almost intimidating and hers was small and it only made you angrier. You step between them and shove him backwards. "The hell are you doing?" You're level with him this time, almost mirroring his muscular build and his height. It was almost scary how alike you were.

"I was just trying to tell her-"

"I don't care, I don't want you to tell her anything" It's kind of contradicting, but you can barely think straight right now.

"Y/n, no its fine he was just" Yunjin tries to argue, touching your arm with her soft hand. You turn to look at her for a moment, your eyes softening when they meet hers.

All of your anger almost goes away, thats what she does to you.

"What did he say to you, Jen?"

Yunjin's eyes darting to hers and then back to yours before she can even speak he cuts in "I was just letting her know that she's going to ruin your career" You turn to him struggling to even begin to comprehend what the fuck he just said. By the cold stare you give him he can tell you're angry but he doesn't care. "Don't be like that, you know it's true! and when you two break up, there's going to be rumors and-"

You look over to Yunjin "We're leaving" Is all you say as you walk behind your parents' car, popping the trunk to take your suitcases and transfer them to your car. If you had no self control, you would have probably punched your dad in the face and maybe even have a full on altercation with him right there in the garage.

But Yunjin didn't need to see that and your mother probably wouldn't be able to handle that.

Soon everything's packed and you're inside of your car, reaching to put your seatbelt on. "Tell mom I said goodbye" You tell your dad and you can't even look him in the eyes when you do. You just watch as the garage doors slide open to make way for your car. Yunjin gets in too and she sets up the navigation on your phone. "How longs the drive?" 

"Two and a half hours" She answers as she puts her seatbelt on. You put the keys in the ignition and you pull off, just glad that you're away from him and the dark emotions he's dredged up.

The car ride starts off silent, you're thinking about a lot. About how Yunjin must've felt hearing that from your father, about how telling it was that he thought he had any right to say something like that to her and especially about how much you damn near hated the man. 

"So" Yunjin breaks the silence.

"So" You repeat her words.

"When were you gonna tell me that you have daddy issues?" 

Your face scrunches up in confusion "I don't have daddy issues" You repeat the term, seeing it as something that could only apply to women. Until you actually start thinking about it, how your relationship with him isn't good, how you get upset when he's around and especially how small he makes you want to act out like a teenager. "Holy shit, I have daddy issues" You realize, causing Yunjin to almost burst out laughing.

The mood was lightening up and you were happy about that, not wanting the altercation with your dad to sour the entire trip. "I had a feeling, you talk about your mom and your sisters a lot but not him." She mentions and you kind of nod, not even realizing how obvious it was. 

"Seriously though, what he said, did it bother you?"

Yunjin shakes her head "Not at all, I still really liked hanging out with your sisters and talking to your mother. They're great" She smiles and you do too, being able to tell that she was being fully genuine in her answer.

You knew each other like that.

-

The rest of the trip was quiet, mostly because Yunjin ended up falling asleep in the beginning half and for the entire ride. You expected her to sleep especially because she didn't get any on the plane.

Shamelessly, you found yourself glancing at her at the occasional red light just to watch her sleeping peacefully.

It made you happy to know that she was yours and only yours.

When you finally arrive in front of her home, you park out front and reach over to tap her awake. It took a few light pushes to wake her up. You watch as she smacks her lips together, wiping the sleep out of her eyes while she stretched her back. It was all the signs that you just woke her up from a really good nap. "What? are we here already?" She yawns and looks out of the window. 

It's already beginning to get dark, the streetlights in the neighborhood were already on, shedding warm light on the empty sidewalk. Now you begin feeling the nerves about meeting her mom and dad. You hope it goes better than the visit to your parents house and you hope they like you. "You ready?" 

You nod your head and the two of you get out and walk up to the door, ringing the doorbell only once. Then the door opens, revealing what you assume to be Yunjin's dad. She opens up her arms, hugging him tightly with a big comfy smile on her face "Hey Jen, you guys got here just in time. Your mom's just finished cooking" He pulls away from the hug then sizes you up a bit, you almost feel a chill run down your spine "I'm guessing this is Y/n?" He asks, putting his hand out to shake yours, nice and firm.

"That's me, it's good to meet you" You nod and move to enter the house. You look around the foyer, noticing a bunch of pictures on the wall of Yunjin and her family together. In some of them she looks so adorable, so happy as a little girl.

Then you walk into the dining room where Yunjin's mom is setting the table. She looks up and smiles upon seeing the two of you, placing a plate down before walking over to hug her daughter first. "Here's the famous boyfriend I assume" She jokes, opening her arms to hug you too.

"Wow, it's nice to finally meet you guys" You smile politely.

Then you take a seat at the table and Yunjin sits next to you and when everyones actually settled in, some conversation begins. "So Y/n" Her mom begins and you hum in response, making sure to make good eye contact "You work in the industry too, right?"

"Yeah, i'm in my fourth year" You nod.

"I'm, curious. How do you two manage to make time for each other?" 

Wow, right out the gate with the heavy questions

You look over to Yunjin, who has already started eating and then your eyes find their way back to her mom's. Noticing that her dad was looking too, you cleared your throat as you tried to figure out a good way to answer the question "It's hard, with the way our schedules conflict a lot but we manage to find windows and do little acts of service for each other when we have free time. For example, when i'm not working and she is, I'll go out and buy her gifts or something and vice versa" You explain and you can feel Yunjin staring at you with that smile on her face.

Yunjin's parents look satisfied with your explanation and you almost feel proud of yourself for handling the question well.

-

The dinner goes way better than you expected, much better than the visit to your parents house which you're grateful for nonetheless. You stay after dinner, getting to know Yunjin's parents better as you played a few fun board games with some music playing in the background. Soon it started feeling like more of a hangout with friends rather than meeting your girlfriends parents.

So it was safe to say that they liked you.

When it started to get late, you and Yunjin said your goodbyes, exchanging friendly hugs with the each other before leaving. There's a nice hotel just thirty minutes away from her parents house, providing you with a place to stay the night before heading down to the city. 

It took a bit of waiting but finally, you were able to book an acceptable room with a good view of Albany.

You put your bags down and without even taking off your clothes, you fall backwards onto the bed and you just lay there. "Well today was... one hell of a day" You mutter, the altercation with your father still in the back of your mind. 

Yunjin sits on the edge of the bed and watches as you lay there. You notice that there's a look on her face. That one she makes when she wants to ask a question but isn't sure how or maybe she doesn't want to ruin the mood with the weight of the question. "Babe?" You ask, sitting up "You alright?" 

"I... your dad... there was something else he said and I know it shouldn't have but it kind of got to me" She subtly begins to play with her fingers, like she's about to break some bad news. You already feel your blood boiling as you start to realize that his words may have bothered her way more than you thought.

Before she continues you stop her "Yunjin you're not going to ruin my career, seriously I value you more than anything in the-"

"No, it's not that" You quirk your eyebrow, deciding that you'll just shut up and listen. "He also said that this is all for nothing, that we'll fall out of love because we barely see each other." Yunjin looks worried, like for the first time she's having some doubts about your relationship. That's because it's the only thing that feels like it could be true. You two had to go almost extreme lengths to have dates, or hang out when you're free. 

Sometimes it gets so busy that you go weeks without seeing each other and that's what worried Yunjin the most. It was the distance. You hold her hand with yours, an act of affection that you found yourself doing a lot when you needed to reassure her "Jen, I love you and... what we have isn't going to fizzle out, it's going to be there forever. My dads just trying to get into your head, I can't believe he said that" You mutter the last part, making a mental note to give him a call later and maybe curse him out.

"Really? Cause sometimes I feel like things at work can get stressful, so stressful to the point where even in our free time we need time to recharge alone. Then when is there going to be time for... just us?" She asks, and its a valid question and a valid feeling but all you do is hold her hand tighter, firmer. 

"You can recharge in bed with me and my arms wrapped around your body" 

This makes Yunjin laugh, cracking a smile at your comment even though you weren't joking at all. She nods "I know.. I'm sorry I let things get to my head. I've just been overthinking a lot and I didn't get much sleep" There's a small smile that threatens to show on your face and she immediately catches the curving of your lips "What?" She laughs a bit, pushing your shoulder lightly. She already knows what you're thinking.

"I know something that'll help you sleep better" You lean in, leaving a small peck on her lips.

Yunjin begins smiling "What is it?" She asks, her lips just centimeters away from yours. You lean forwards again to press your lips together and the kiss is longer this time, slower. You pull away just enough to disconnect your lips.

"Guess" Is all you say before you push her body back on the bed and you kiss her again but its a bit harder this time. It lasts for a minute too, a whole minute (and maybe even more than that because who's counting?) where you're just exploring each others' mouths. Her breathing becomes heavier and you shuffle a bit, careful not to break the kiss as you do.

You finally pull yourself off of her lips, just for a moment so you can get yourself out of the limiting confines of your clothes. Watching as you take your shirt off, Yunjin follows and pulls her top over her head. You move to unbutton and unzip her tight jeans. She's wearing the ones that you loved, the ones that cling to her thighs so perfectly. As you pull them off, Yunjin lifts her legs and straightens them to help you out.

"I've been wanting to do that all day" 

"Really? While you were meeting my parents?" She giggles, pretending to be shocked, she knew that you were looking. 

She caught on every time "Don't act like you didn't know" You reach for your belt and you sling it off, standing up from the bed for a moment just to drop your loose fitting jeans all the way. Then you get back into bed with her and you crawl in between her legs. Yunjin wraps them around you, bringing your body that much closer to hers.

You kiss her lips again, breathing slow and heavy breaths as you do, you couldn't get enough of her plump lips. Then you begin sliding your hand down between the crevice where your bodies met all the way down to her panties. You allow your hand to rest there, feeling the heat through the lacy fabric while you began to move your lips elsewhere. First the corner of her lips. then her cheek, then her jawline and eventually to her neck.

Yunjin moans softly, rolling her hips up into your hand as you begin to suck on her warm flesh. You lick the skin, then gently take it between your teeth and you suck hard enough to get a reaction but not to leave a mark of any kind. It's a lot to deal with. Your lips on her neck, your hand teasing her right where she needs you the most right now and the way your warm body felt on hers. No matter how torturous the teasing feels right now, she's loving the time and care you take with her body.

"Baby" She tries to whisper, but it comes out as more of a needy whine. Her hips haven't stopped moving yet either. "Please"

Thats when you finally slide your hand beneath the waistband of her panties and you palm her cunt. You take note of how wet she is as you begin to rub messy circles around her clit, providing enough pressure for now "You're soaked, baby" You announce, as if she wasn't already painfully aware.

"For.. you" She manages to say through her soft moans and then as quickly as you put them in, you slide them right out to use both of your hands to pull her panties off. Then you motion for her to lean up, and you reach around to unclip her bra, letting it slide off of her arms delicately. You struggle a bit to shimmy out of your boxers while you were still on the bed and once they're off, the two of you are completely bare in each others presence.

You put your body flush to hers again and you leave a kiss on her neck, sliding your hand back to where they belonged. "I'm going to put a finger in" You warn, and an enthusiastic hum from her follows. You slide your middle finger into the smooth and tight confines of her cunt. Yunjin moans, biting her lip as you curl the finger and begin pumping it in and out.

"Feels so.. good" She breathes and you decide to let your mouth explore other parts of her wonderful body. You kiss along the perfect curve of her collarbone, getting every inch wet with your saliva and your tongue. Yunjin didn't even have to say it in words, her body language spoke volumes. Especially the way she rides your fingers and whines your name.

You slide another finger inside and she moans louder, really beginning to feel the stretch as you work them both inside. You kiss all the way down to her left nipple which you take into your mouth almost immediately, her back arches a bit when you do and you grab her right breast with your hand. You begin to massage it, tweaking the nipple between your fingers while you sucked on the other one.

Then you switch, rubbing the saliva you left back into her breasts and along her body. It was like you were claiming her as yours or--for lack of better words--marking your territory. "Baby.. please" She gapes, her voice just above a whisper as she begs. You hum in response "Need you inside"

 So you slide your fingers out and take them between your lips "You taste so good, Jen" You mutter as you lean over her body, positioning yourself more properly between her legs. Theres a moment when you look into her eyes, your faces just a few inches apart. Then you take your cock into your hand and you begin stroking it, just lathering it up with the mix of her slick and your saliva. 

The moment you prod her entrance, another "Please" escapes her lips but this time it sounds so breathless, so desperate, like she'll die if you're not inside of her by the next second. You waste no more time and you push your hips forward immediately feeling the way her warm walls wrapped around you. It was like a tight hug and you fit so perfectly inside of her, like you were made to be inside of her.

Yunjin winces, her eyebrows upturned as she shuts her eyes all in an attempt to cope with the indescribable pleasure of you being inside of her. You lean down and close the gap, putting you lips together as she moans long high pitched whines. She wraps her legs around you and thats when you reach the hilt "Fuck" You curse on her lips, feeling her throb inside.

You begin to move, starting off slow and deep with your movements, sure to make her feel every every inch. You're bodies are on fire as you share this intimate moment of pleasure together, relishing in the particular feeling when your hips meet. She's so wet that you can hear it, you can hear it and its driving you insane. Yunjin feels so good, you just want to stay in the moment forever.

You move to kiss her neck again, mostly so you can allow her to moan as loud as she wants to. It's because you want to hear her pretty moans, every stutter, every word she tries to get out in an attempt to let you know how good she's feeling--more importantly how good you're making her feel. She does just that "Fuck baby... so deep" and "You're so big, stretching me so good" and "don't stop." You hear all the praise and you're obsessed with it.

"You feel so good" You grunt as you begin to pick up the pace, fucking her faster "So tight and wet for me" 

Theres a whimper that escapes her lips and shortly after a loud moan "Yes, faster please fuck me faster...harder." She pleads and you do just that, hearing the moment she begins to choke on her own words, literally losing breath as you began to hit the deepest spots inside of her. You can feel her nails scratching her back. "I love You" She moans, and the words sound so beautiful coming out of her mouth. 

"I love you" You groan, feeling the way her cunt pulses and throbs around your cock. It felt so fucking good you couldn't even believe how good she felt, like nothing ever before. "Fuck" You sigh, leaning up to hold yourself up by your arms. Yujin looks so beautiful with her eyes closed and her eyebrows kitted together. Her whole face is flushed a shade of red and so is her body as you get her closer and closer to her climax.

Yunjin grabs onto your forearms tightly, "Gonna cum for you" 

You reach your hand down and you begin to rub her clit in tight circles, feeling the swollen bud throb on your fingers. You're looking right at her, wanting to catch the exact moment that she topples over the edge. "Go ahead baby, let go" Your voice is soft while you say it.

She does it so beautifully. First her eyes go wide and she stares into nothing as her body goes rigid, you keep going and a moan gets caught in her throat. Yunjin gasps, then chokes out a sob right before she begins to tremble and shudder. You can feel it inside, the way her cunt begins to pulse and clench around your sensitive cock. It feels so good and it starts getting hard for you to hold back as well.

"I'm cumming" She finally gasps, releasing as her creamy slick begins to coat your entire cock. Her back arches as her orgasm knocks the wind out of her and it stays that way for a moment. With a longer moan she falls backwards and thats when you know she's done. "Fuck" She sighs as your thrusts slow to a stop. You lean down and kiss her, just to seal everything in. it's slow and sensual, a moment that could make it feel like time has frozen and the only thing that matters are her lips and her body.

Eventually you pull away from the kiss, and before you can even do anything, Yunjin flips you over. She's giggling as she does because she's still in her post-orgasm state, feeling like she's floating. The look in her eyes is so loving and lustful at the same time "Let me make you feel good" She says it in a tone that sends a chill down your spine, so sexy and naughty as she's about to please you.

Yunjin's hovering over your lap and you watch her every move. From the moment she wraps her hand around your throbbing cock to the second your tip comes into contact with her entrance. You squirm a bit, and she bites her lip, the look in her eye is dangerous, it’s fucking deadly the way it makes your heart stop for a moment. 

Your eyes are glossed over, lost in lust as your eyes flicker downwards. She's teasing, sliding the head through her folds and she just watches you with that desperate look in your eyes. "Please" You nearly whimper and thats all it takes for her to sink downwards. A throaty moan escapes your lips and a softer moan comes from hers as she meets your body, ass flush to your upper thighs. "Fuck me" You mutter, and you mean it both in a literal and figurative way.

She takes it literally and leans forward, holding onto your shoulders as she raises her hips then slams them back down onto your body. The creaking sound that the bed makes, the slapping noise that fills your ears when your skin meets and the filthy squelch that comes from between your legs almost sends you over the edge, like all the way. "You fill me up.. so... fucking good" she bites her lip harder as she begins to get in a rhythm, bouncing on you, up and down.

You hold onto her waist, thumbs pressing into her abs as you squeezed tightly. "Oh, babe you're so fucking good at that" You praise her, a breathy groan leaving your mouth as you begin to feel the heat build in the pit of your stomach. Yunjin slows down a bit and grabs your hands, you allow her to take them off her waist as she intertwines your fingers. She pins them to the bed and leans over, using them for support as she picks up the pace.

She does it so she can feel the way your hands grip hers as a reaction to the way she clenches and rotates her hips. It feels so fucking good, so incredible, so mind numbing to be inside of her. Then not to mention the view, the most beautiful girl in the world, naked, looking at you like you're the only one that exists in her world. Perky tits bouncing and jiggling up and down with the way she's riding you. "I.. fucking.. love you" You choke the words out and she leans closer, a satisfied smile on her face.

Yunjin kisses your lips, not for too long, just as long as you can keep up with and she giggles just a bit, her breath hitching when she slams her hips down again. "I love you" She closes her eyes, then puts her head down into the crook of your neck. You know she's chasing another orgasm, but you have no clue how you're gonna hold back until then.

Now she's squeezing your hands harder than you're squeezing, maybe she's closer than you thought "Jen, baby i'm about to.." You can't even finish your sentence as she begins to bounce harder, faster on your body. "cum" You manage to say, but it comes out silent and you doubt she could hear anything over her own moans. 

"Not yet baby, just a little longer" She begs, her voice sounding so erotic as she does. It doesn't help in the slightest.

But you try your hardest to get through without cumming, your labored breaths heaving directly into her ears. "I can't.. i'm going to cum in this... fucking-" She cuts you off with a loud moan, one that goes directly into your ear and it lets you know that she's reached her peak before you. Yunjin keeps going though, riding you mindlessly as if her mind was disconnected from her body. She's cumming, babbling in your ear as everything goes blank and you can feel every quiver inside.

Your body begins to shake as you reach the edge "Don't stop, don't fucking" You grunt as your cock begins to pulse and throb the pleasure almost too much to bare as you begin to paint her walls white with cum. "Fuck" You groan, low and long as you keep shooting endless ropes, fucking it deeper inside her as you thrust your hips up to stuff and fill her as much as possible. She stops moving and at some point you're no longer cumming.

The two of you just lay there, a hot and sweaty mess and a tangle of limbs and skin. It takes a moment for you to squeeze her hands which were still in yours, signaling that you were going to slide from under her. So you do and she rolls over and sits up, you lean in to leave another peck on her lips. "You know, the bath tub is huge and it could probably fit the both of us" 

Yunjin smiles and gets off of the bed, she looks back at you then walks off towards the bathroom swaying her hips purposely in a way that made your heart throb. You get up and go after her, walking into the bathroom, closing the door behind you. It was then when you realized how cold the room was and you begin to shiver a bit. "Make it hot... like, super hot" You tell her as she goes to turn the water on.

You watch the steam rise from the tub where the hot water begins to pool and you allow Yunjin to get in first. Then you get in after her, sitting behind her with your legs spread. She lets her body rest against you her back to your chest and everything's warm again. You rest your chin on her shoulder "No matter what anyone says, no matter what happens... I'll never fall out of love with you" You wrap yours arms around her torso.

"How are you so reassuring?" She hums, closing her eyes as the water slowly rises, warming the both of you up even more.

"I'm just honest" You shrug, your voice soft in the way she likes.

"I love you" 

"I love you more" You move to kiss her cheek, then she turns her face some more so you can capture her lips. No matter if the angle is kind of awkward, it still feels so right, so comfortable.

-

The next morning feels like a dream because you wake up and Yunjin's head is on your chest. Your head turns over to the digital clock on the nightstand and you see that it's eleven in the morning. You rub small circles in her back and you just lay there. For the first time in a while you feel true peace, matching her slow breaths with yours as you stared into nothing. 

When there's no rush to leave, no rush to get up, you didn't even have to stay awake. It would make no difference if you just went back to sleep and stayed like that for the end of the day. You close your eyes again, to do just that when you feel Yunjin start to stir.

A low, raspy noise escapes her lips as she does "Babe" she calls you.

"Yeah?"

She takes a deep breath in, finally opening her eyes as she gets to look at the clock "What time does breakfast end?"

"I think like twelve" You start rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and you sit up when Yunjin rolls herself off of you. She stands up and goes over to the phone where theres a menu of all the different breakfast items they had for order. 

Yunjin gets so focused that she doesn't even realize that you got out of the bed until she feels your arms snaking around her waist. You kiss her neck "Do you know what you want?" You question her.

"Yeah, you?"

She chews on her bottom lip as she flips through the pages "What are you getting?"

"The typical pancakes with eggs and bacon, a western staple breakfast if you ask me" You shrug.

"You're so bland" Yunjin jokes.

"I might be bland, but I managed to get you to love me. You like bland" You tease.

"Maybe I do"

[wooskirbyplushie]

Our Little Secret ~ K.HJ

✰ idol!hongjoong x fan!reader where the guys catch hongjoong not so secretly slip a paper into your hand at a fanmeet

✰ word count: 3.6k

✰ warnings: some cussing (nothing crazy), pet names (love), female!reader, glasses!hongjoong cuz that’s enough to drive me insane tbh, she/they pronouns used for reader

✰ a/n: hey so i randomly got this idea one day and decided to execute it lol. tbh im not sure if i’ll keep updating this or not just because it was only supposed to be a little drabble but im 87% sure i’ll continue it just so my friends don’t hold me at gunpoint to finish it😭😭

✰ italics are used for inner thoughts, bold italic is just to emphasize words, also don’t pay attention to the timestamps for the texts later on k that’s it

dividers are created by @cafekitsune tysm !

you were late, you were so late, and you couldn’t blame anyone but yourself.

today has been marked in your calendar for almost 2 months, the day that ateez finally had a fanmeet in your city. you had saved up for the event for so long that when they announced it you didn’t hesitate to snatch your card out of your wallet to buy tickets for you and your best friend, kaylani.

but today you completely fucked your schedule up. oversleeping was not in your plans and neither was having to iron your outfit and rush to catch the train, just for it to delay for 15 minutes. in addition to the 5 minute bus ride from the station turning into a 30 minute walk because the bus you and your friend needed to catch didn’t run that day. who knew?

by the time you finally got to the venue, security were already trying to lock up the doors. i mean, it made sense considering they started meeting fans almost two hours ago.

“hey!!” kaylani shouted to try and get the guards attention. one of them looked up, utter confusion on his face as he watched two young girls jogging at them from across the parking lot.

“please we- we have tickets. the train made us late, but we cannot miss this event” you breathed out as fast as possible, trying to catch your breath at the same time. lani shuffled around for her phone to pull up the virtual tickets before the guards shrugged and scanned both tickets to let you in. “you girls either have really incredible or really horrible timing” one of the guys commented and told you to have fun.

you both squealed the second you got inside.

following the arrows and signs, you reached the auditorium that ateez was having their fanmeet in. now usually, fanmeets had a show in the first half and the actual meet in the second. but thankfully this time around it was swapped, meaning you guys didn’t miss any of the actual show. would it possibly be delayed because you were late? ehhh you’d cross that bridge when you got to it.

“we’re really here holy shit that’s ateez 20 feet away from us-“ you started rambling before lani cut through your thoughts with another squeal. she saw her bias, that had to be the only reason

“ITS JONGHOOO AHHHH”

“wow kaylani, it’s almost like he’s in the grou- AHHH LOOK ITS HONGJOONG”

kaylani rolled her eyes and mocked you. “wow y/n it’s almost like he’s in the group.” touché.

it wasn’t long before you realized they had changed quite a bit for this fanmeet. for example, the boys weren’t sitting in age order, or what you and lani called “fanchant order”. jongho was first and hongjoong was last, which didn’t really matter, but you knew your heart would race more and more as you got closer to your bias.

joong was your ult bias and had been for 4 years. you loved all of the members (duh) but the thought of possibly holding that man’s hand sent you over the moon. sure he held other girls hands, but this was gonna be your moment.

“bro. bro we’re next” kaylani whisper shouted while gripping your shoulder.

“unhand me you fein- oh god that’s jongho like he’s real.”

“RIGHT THATS THE CHOI JONGHO. 4TH GEN VOCALIST AHHHH” if you couldn’t tell she was a jongho ult before, it was super evident now. and because of that, you let lani go first.

******

if she could’ve, kaylani would’ve talked jongho’s ear off for 40 minutes. luckily he seemed intrigued by what was being said, laughing and giggling along with your friend. and now you wish you went first instead.

eventually she moved to wooyoung and was out-yapped, while you talked to jongho, really just telling him all of your favorite runs and verses he had. then you moved down again, and again, got to san and almost forgot your morals. he had you giggling for your life and the blush on your face was impossible to hide. he was THE ateez flirt.

but you and kaylani kept moving. to be real, since you were the last people in the room, there was no real rush but you decided to be mindful of the boys time.

yunho and yeosang were adorably nerdy and a hint of shy in real life, seonghwa really knew how to catch you off guard. one second you were talking about his lego collection and the next he was spewing out compliments and grabbing your hand. you tried to turn your face to hide your blush again, but you turned right into hongjoong’s direction and almost screamed. he was staring at you, and hard. what you hadn’t realized was kaylani whispering how much you “loved him” and how he was your “ultimate bias and first choice for a husband.”

yea you were either gonna go back to jongho and tell him how she brought his photocard to prom, or you were going to murder her.

you finished with seonghwa and slowly moved to hongjoong while lani stood off to the side and snuck a few pictures. “so. i’m your ult huh?” hongjoong questioned, arms folded across his chest.

you gulped, “y-yea you’ve always stuck out to me,” your voice came out in a whisper. hongjoong chuckled and leaned forward a bit.

“i’m your ult but you have no problem flirting with san and seonghwa in front of me, yea?”

“i don’t see the difference between that and you holding a bunch of fans hands, flirting with them.”

your mouth worked faster than your brain could, and you regretted it the second you finished the sentence, slapping your hand over your mouth.

hongjoong tilted his head and raised an eyebrow over the rim of his glasses. god he looked good in glasses. “quite the mouth on you…”

“y/n” you finished his sentence.

“y/n..” he trailed off like he was letting your name marinate on his tongue. “really pretty name for a really pretty person”

now you were really blushing. you didn’t care if it was fan service, he was servicing the hell out of you and you were eating it up. “thank you joong..” and he smirked in return.

******

you talked for a while (ok like 5 minutes) praising joong just like you did all the other members. he asked you what your favorite songs were, and san jumped in when he heard you mention desire. “honestly such a hater, desire is a masterpiece!!” you exclaimed as the top desire defender in tinyville. joong and san laughed before san walked off backstage and hongjoong picked up his sharpie, doodling while you talked.

you just kept going, your level of yapping surpassing kaylani while she was talking to jongho. hongjoong was eating it up though, especially when you started listing your favorite rap verse from him, even saying you could tell an ateez song by his signature giggle.

“it’s a bit embarrassing but i’ve listened to the songs so much that i just know? your music saved me, genuinely.” you trailed off before joong grabbed your hand.

“i honestly think it’s adorable.” he replied with a genuine smile. his smile was warm and bright, like lights on a christmas tree in december. you were soon brought back to reality when a guard told joong he had to wrap up with you so they could move on to the show. he nodded while messily writing something on a small piece of paper with his non dominant hand, still holding your hand with his other.

“well i guess this is goodbye, y/n. it was really nice talking to you and your friend” joong said, subtly crumbling a paper up in his hand before going to slip it into your own.

you weren’t dumb, you played like you didn’t even realize, following along with his skit. “it was really nice to meet you joongie,” you replied with a soft smile before you both got up and walked in your respective directions.

******

“you aren’t slick joong, i saw that.” san whispered while the group got dressed for the next part of the show. he was putting on a school boy uniform, adjusting the blue tie that went with it. hongjoong sat next to him, tying the shoes that he swapped into.

“doesn’t matter if you saw it, managers didn’t see it.” he responded with a shrug. joong knew him getting caught would mean having to change his number and most likely block you if you ever reached out to him, but in his head it was worth the risk.

“if i saw it, how do you know they didn’t see it captain?”

“because i waited till they turned around. and to be honest, i don’t care if they saw. i liked her.”

“liked who?” wooyoung asked as he walked over to steal san’s cologne. “because if you mean the last two people that came in, i don’t blame you! the last one was extremely pretty..”

joong just shot wooyoung a side eye before grabbing his phone, letting out a small sigh at the sight of no notification from you. he thought you guys had a little connection, right? then again-

“she probably just thought you were servicing her. ya know, your job.” san said stiffly, fixing a few stray strands of hair. joong clicked his phone off and threw it to his side with a slight head shake. maybe san was right, you probably didn’t look much into it considering it was his job to service his fans. maybe the managers did see him and they took the paper after you were out of joong’s sight. he was getting stressed over a girl he just met and even though his friends were talking to him in logic, hongjoong refused to learn that language.

he let out another small sigh before ruffling his hair and clapping his hands together to gather the group to get on stage. he had to clear his mind so he could perform. “alright guys let’s do this. hana dul set,”

“fightingggg!!” the boys yelled in unison and cheered, hyping each other up for what was to come. one by one, the boys started leaving the dressing room to take their places in the wings of the stage curtains.

seonghwa made sure everyone made it out, before looking back to see hongjoong lagging behind. “you coming bub?” joong looked at hwa, then his phone on the couch, and back to hwa before sending him a quick nod and walking out the door.

he’d be able to make it through the show.. right?

******

“soooo we’re just gonna ignore what happened back there? you know i saw that right love?” kaylani pressed you while fixing her lip gloss, making you jump out of your thoughts.

“what happened?? we just had a normal conversation!”

“normal my ass. you talked for like five minutes and then KIM HONGJOONG SLID YOU HIS-“

you slapped your hand over her mouth. you were in the empty bathroom but there was no reason to take any chances of a manager, or even worse, a fan overhearing and reporting back to one. “kay, i love you. dearly. but please lower your voice love…”

she sighed behind your hand and obliged before complaining about you smudging her lip combo. you rolled your eyes and pulled the crumbled sheet of paper from out of your jacket pocket to show your friend. the numbers were a bit wayward, but joong was writing with his left hand so it was understandable. he somehow still managed to make it legible enough for you to understand though.

“it’s his kakao talk im assuming. i still have the app from when you and i had to use it when i was in seoul.”

“do you know for sure it’s his number ?”

“of course i don’t know for sure kay, im trying not to lose my mind right n-“

“text it.”

that may have seemed like the obvious answer but you were still extremely nervous about getting caught. and the idea of getting caught by a manager was still circling around in your brain. “there’s a chance that he’s waiting for your text ya know. just text it and see.” kaylani finished with a shrug, her lips popping as she finished up her lip combo. you took a deep breath before shakily grabbing your phone and opening your kakao talk.

what were you even going to say ? hi ? that sounded basic but there really wasn’t much else to do. there was no reason to say your full name because, well, what if it wasn’t truly him ? lani must’ve gotten bored of watching you stare at your phone without typing anything because after a few seconds your phone was in her hands as she drafted up and sent a message for you.

“KAYLANI !???”

“it’s fine, i just said hey and that it was the girl from the fanmeet. unless he’s going around giving his number out to every pretty girl like a whore, he’ll know it’s you.”

she handed your phone back to you before throwing her hands on your shoulders and flashing you a slight smile. “it’ll be fine ok? now let’s go watch our boys do the utmost embarrassing shit!”

you nodded in response and stepped out of the bathroom to make your way to your seats.

now what your best friend didn’t know when you bought your tickets was that you saved enough for front row. and the surprise was pretty evident by the screech she let out once you dragged her to the seats in front of the stage.

“no way no way we’re this close HOLY- y/n forget hongjoong will you please marry me???”

you just laughed and playfully pushed lani towards her seat, “get off of me and sit down goofball.”

******

“2 minutes to showtime!!”

the lights were dimming as the members stood in the wings of the stage, mic packs being adjusted and pinned onto the boys. wooyoung was humming some vocal warmups to himself before he walked over to hongjoong. “jeez captain, lighten up. you look like yeosang told you that hwa was his favorite hyung and not you…”

hongjoong jumped, unnoticeable to wooyoung, and scoffed in response to his statement. “please, as if that would ever happen.”

“ah you’re right. you look like your mom told you that bumjoong is the favorite child.”

“is there a point to your escapades or do you just enjoy annoying me?”

a look of fake hurt flashed across wooyo’s face in response, “ouch. you must really be missing your pretty girlfriend to talk to your best friend like that joongie.”

hongjoong spun towards wooyoung and gave him, yet another, death glare. “keep your voice down are you insane ? listen, we have a job to do, get focused on that.” and with that he stormed back to his place on stage. just take a few breaths and it’ll be fine… no reason for you to snap on your members.

“places guys; 10 seconds!”

he didn’t think it was possible, but that 10 seconds was both the longest and shortest time of hongjoong’s career. he knew you were in the crowd, he knew he had to do his best just for you. but what he wasn’t expecting when he scanned the crowd was to make direct eye contact with you and your friend in the front row.

oh he was soooo fucked.

so fucked that hwa had to elongate his intro and improvise an extra end part to get joong to snap out of his daze.

“ah i’m sorry, i got caught up looking at all of our beautiful atiny! hi guys, my name is kim hongjoong, captain of ateez!!”

the crowd seemed to take it well, i mean his job was fan service. but in truth, he was lying, he was only looking at you. and to his surprise, you were looking back; in fact he could feel your eyes on him frequently, and anytime he didn’t it was just because you and your friend were laughing together.

hongjoong kept finding himself on your side of the stage, often sending you flirty glances and winks during his verses; and god you were eating it up. not to mention how obsessed he was with getting you to smile. unfortunately for him though, he had to give that same energy to everyone for his actions to not be so obvious. even more unfortunately for him, san and wooyoung were on his ass the entire time, which caused seonghwa to send suspicious glances joong’s way. fuck.

hwa approached joong halfway through the show, once they were offstage during yunho and mingi’s unit performance. “fess up, why are you clinging to one side of the stage and why do you keep zoning out?? it’s not a good look and it’s making us look unorganized on stage.“

hongjoong just toyed with the hem of his sleeve in silence. to be honest he was trying to focus but he was drunk on the thought of being able to make you smile. there wasn’t anything he could say to get hwa off of his back, so he opted for a shrug.

“are you not feeling ok? you should’ve said something beforehand joong-“

“i’m fine.” please just drop it…

“fine.” hwa started, preparing his mic to get back on stage. the irritation was evident in his actions, but his voice was still soft. “but you’re the leader, just know this shit is on your shoulders if management says something.”

hongjoong just nodded in response, following seonghwa’s actions in fixing his mic. “that’s 50,000 won for calling me leader and not captain by the way.” he retorted with a smirk before running back on stage to meet the audience’s cheers.

******

“okay atiny, you guys enjoying the show?” yeosang asked, receiving a loud roar of approval from the crowd.

“i take that as a yes! but unfortunately…” jongho started his sentence, and atiny realized that the show was coming to an end. “hey hey we don’t want to leave either, but we have one more performance for you guys! are you ready??”

the rest of the guys were set up on a prop couch for the last song, each of them holding a red or white rose, as they waited for jongho to join them. once he did, the speakers started playing the instrumental of seventeen’s “ready to love” and seonghwa started off the cover, the crowd going insane.

eventually the boys got to the ending and handed out (or really threw) their roses to people in the crowd. and to no one’s surprise, hongjoong sat on the edge of the stage and handed his white rose to you, his fingers gliding over yours during the hand off, causing a goofy smile to take over your face with a light pink blush. kaylani teased you after making sure to get the entire interaction on video, you simply rolling your eyes and covering the camera in response. joong winked before getting up to join the members for their final bow and go back to their green room.

“thank you atiny!! we’ll be back soon” san yelled as the curtains closed and yunho and mingi peaked out to wave one last time.

******

hongjoong was the first one back in the room, his mind filled with your smile and whether or not you texted him. he loosened his tie and jogged over to the couch where he left his phone, anxious but also eager. but when he heard the members following close behind, joong grabbed his phone and rushed to the bathroom; mostly to avoid being teased by wooyoung, reprimanded by seonghwa, and shamed by san.

“you ok captain?” mingi asked from the other side of the door. “you left kinda in a hurry..”

“y-yea i’m fine, drank a lot of water earlier.”

mingi just shrugged it off with a low “okay” and went back to the other members, hongjoong letting out a small breath that he didn’t realize he was holding. he clicked his phone on and surprisingly saw a kakao notification from an unsaved contact. hongjoong’s face lit up brighter than his phone screen as he opened the app to reply.

but wait. was it you or a stalker?

did someone else possibly see the paper he gave you?

was he overthinking? yes. but most of it seemed logical.

joong sighed before he reread your message.

?: hey

?: it’s the girl from the fanmeet

still he had to confirm it was you.. and he had a pretty decent idea of how to do it.

joongie: really? then say something i said to you earlier

joong figured you would take a while to write back but you actually replied right away.

?: “really pretty name for a really pretty person”

joongie: i’m glad you texted me y/n :)

he just smiled at his phone, thinking of what to text you next. should he ask to facetime you maybe? should he flirt or was it too early for that? joong’s mind had a million tabs open at once but he really wanted to live in the current moment-

until wooyoung decided to be obnoxious and bang on the bathroom door like the police.

“hey some of us actually have to pee ya know!”

open tab number one million and one, strangle jung wooyoung…

[wip]

A very very minor thing I have been curious about for a while, and I'm finally asking: why do you calculate queue posting times the way you do? For example, if I set my queue to post 3x a day, naively I would expect it to post every 8 hours. But in reality it posts every 6 hours with a 12 hour gap between days. Why complicate the math like that?

Answer: Hello @circumference-pie!

Buckle up y’all, it’s story time again!

First: nobody who works at Tumblr right now was a part of the work of planning the default queue implementation, which was more than ten years ago. So the full story behind “Why does it work that way?” has unfortunately been lost to the sands of time. All we can do is tell you how it works today and surmise some reasons why. The queue is actually a very clever system and part of how it works explains some of why it works the way it does. Also, there have been attempts to do what you ask—we still have “Queue 2.0” available in your Tumblr Labs settings, which tries to get closer to how you expect things to work.

Anyway! How the queue works today is not actually a queue in the traditional sense. There is no single list of posts that are in “your queue”. Instead, when you “Add to queue” after creating a post, we’re actually scheduling it to post at a future time, as if you had used the “Schedule post” option instead. We’re just calculating that time on your behalf when you use “Add to queue”, based on your settings, and how many other scheduled posts you have already. We use a secondary “index” model, called “ScheduledPost”, to keep track of posts you have scheduled on your blog. We do mark the ones that are a part of “your queue”, but the data model doesn’t keep one list of your “queue” per se.

You can see this in action on your blog, hiding in plain sight. If you add a bunch of posts to your queue, and then schedule a post for a specific future date, you’ll see both in your blog’s “queue” list, side by side. Because technically to us, they’re the same thing: queued posts are really just another kind of scheduled post, relying on the same always-running service to publish scheduled posts across all of Tumblr. Here’s a fun fact: we typically have about ~14.5 million future posts to publish from this list at any given time and are publishing hundreds of these scheduled posts every second.

So when you’re adding a new post to your queue, what we’re doing behind the scenes is starting at the beginning of your “day”, and creating time slots based on your queue settings. If a time slot is already filled, we move on to the next one. That’s why the default queue scheduler works how you describe—we’re trying to fill those “slots” based on the start of the day, rather than trying to divide the calendar day evenly. This just makes it much simpler for us to understand, scale, and predict when our “peaks” will be. At peak times, the publish-scheduled-posts service is publishing tens of thousands of posts in a manner of seconds. We did rewrite that post-publishing part of this architecture a few years ago to improve its efficiency and solve a lot of “lost post” bugs, but we didn’t change how “Add to queue” works.

However, the Queue 2.0 project available in Labs was an attempt to change the queue system to work as you expect—instead of starting at [beginning of day] and creating enough slots to fit [number of slots] every [number of hours], it tries to divide the calendar day into [number of slots] and fit the result back to the original algorithm’s mapping of the day. We never productionized this alternative approach, because it has a few bugs that some blogs hit in extreme cases, and we’ve never had time to fully fix them. It also can cause a bit of weirdness when time zones diverge, like with daylight savings time. Also, a lot of people prefer the default algorithm, and we haven’t thought of a nice way to transition everyone from one to the other. So for now, both options exist, and you can choose which algorithm for queue-slot-generating you want to use. We hope that makes sense! 

While complicated, it is a great example of a system built by engineers to make sense and be scalable and predictable. But sometimes these kinds of systems, while clever, aren’t very intuitive to understand without digging into how they work.

Thanks for your question, and keep ’em coming. 

[supi-wupi]

Polaroid Love - Joshua

pairing: joshua x reader synopsis: You and Joshua hangout every year on the same beach, taking a single Polaroid together and writing something on the back. One year, you basically write: “This might be the year I tell you I’m in love with you.” He just has to flip the photo over. wc: 4k genre: Slowburn, Childhood friends to lovers, Fluff, Soft angst, Dual POV warning: y/n is their manager, like a drop of angst, takes them 8 years to get together, mutual pining a/n: This is also one of my past ideas i’ve finally decided to start writing!! Title is based off song Polaroid Love by Enyphen. Special thanks to @nerdycheol for beta reading for me!!

Y/N’s POV

The beach hasn’t changed.

That was the first thought you had as you stepped onto the familiar stretch of sand, toes sinking into warm grains that carried years of memory. You could hear it even now—childish laughter echoing off sun-washed rocks, the crackle of a disposable camera, Joshua’s voice calling your name with that slight American accent that always lingered on your mind.

"Still early," you murmured, checking the time on your phone. The van with the rest of the members wouldn’t arrive for another thirty minutes– and honestly, you were glad. This place belonged to the two of you first—before SEVENTEEN, before the chaos of comeback schedules, before you became “Manager Y/N” and he became “Joshua Hong.”

This beach was just… yours.

You pulled the weathered Polaroid camera from your bag and gave it a shake, like always. It barely functioned now, held together with tape and hope, but you couldn’t bring yourself to replace it. It had taken ten years of photos. Ten years of this same beach. Ten years of the same boy—now a man—beside you in every frame.

Joshua arrived ten minutes late, hair tousled from the wind, sunglasses pushed back onto his head, and a gentle smile tugging at his lips. He waved with that familiar softness, like he was afraid to disturb the peace.

“You beat me again,” he said, jogging the last few steps.

“You say that every year,” you teased, reaching into your bag for the film.

“And yet I keep hoping I’ll catch you off guard.”

You didn’t tell him the truth—that you always arrived early. That you always watched the tide for a bit, hoping it would calm the nerves that still fluttered whenever you saw him smile. That this was the only day of the year where you let yourself want.

You handed him the camera, and he knew what to do. It had always been this way. One photo. One snapshot. One moment frozen in time.

He stood beside you, shoulder warm against yours, and you smiled for the lens. Not the polite smile you wore during press conferences or backstage interviews. A real one. The kind that only bloomed when he was next to you.

The Polaroid whirred. Clicked. Printed. He caught the photo as it slid out, flapping it in the air like he always did.

“Still works,” he said, voice touched with awe, like it always surprised him.

Joshua pulled out a pen from his bag and handed him the photo. "Here."

The tradition was simple: each year, you would write a message on the back of the photo. Something about the year, the day, the memory. You’d started it when he was still a trainee. At first, it was things like ‘First summer, first photo. I hope we keep coming back here.’ or ‘He brought me ice cream when I said I didn’t want any.’ Then, as years passed, the notes grew quieter. More meaningful.

This years was hard to write, and the pen felt heavier than usual.

He handed the photo over, and you sat down on a familiar rock, writing slowly, carefully. He didn’t hover. He never did. He trusted you with your silences.

You stared at the back of the photo a long time before finally scribbling something simple:

“Year ten. Still the best part of my summer.”

What you wanted to write was:

“This might be the year I tell you I’m in love with you.”

But you didn’t. You never did.

Instead, you slipped the Polaroid into the envelope with the rest and tucked it into your bag. Joshua plopped down beside you with a sigh, brushing sand off his pants.

“You ever think we’ll stop doing this?” he asked, almost absentmindedly.

You blinked. “What, coming here?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I mean… life’s busy. Stuff changes.”

Your stomach dipped. “Do you want it to stop?”

He turned to you, startled. “No—God, no. This is the best part of my year.”

You smiled, eyes burning with sunlight and unsaid things.

“Mine too.”

And you meant it.

More than he’d ever know.

—

Joshua’s POV

The van ride back from the beach is quiet, the kind of tired silence that comes after too much sun and just enough nostalgia. Most of the members are asleep or scrolling through their phones with half-lidded eyes. But you—you’re sitting in the front passenger seat, head against the window, the corner of your lip tilted into a secret smile.

Joshua can’t help but watch you. He always does after these beach days.

There’s something about how the light hits your face when you’re not managing a dozen things at once. No phones buzzing, no schedules in your hands. Just… you.

He looks down at the camera resting in his lap—the old, beat-up Polaroid he knows you treasure more than you let on. It barely holds together, yet you still bring it every year like it’s sacred. He kind of gets it now. Maybe some things are supposed to hold your memories even when they’re falling apart.

His fingers graze over the snap button, and his mind drifts.

That photo you took today… your smile looked different. Like you were thinking something while you smiled. Like there was something just behind your eyes that he couldn’t read, and he’s usually good at reading you.

You’ve always been good at pretending around the other members—calm, collected, dependable. But not with him. With him, your eyes give you away.

He turns the camera over in his hands again, tempted to ask if he can see what you wrote on the back of the photo. You never let him read them the same day. That was part of the tradition. “One day,” you always say, “when it’s time.”

He’s not sure what “time” you’re waiting for.

And lately… he wonders if he’s the reason you’re still waiting.

—

Y/N’s POV

The envelope of Polaroids feels heavier in your bag this year.

You flip through them in your apartment that night, careful not to smudge the edges. Ten photos. One each year. You run your fingers over the earliest ones—your awkward teenage smiles, the years Joshua’s hair kept changing styles, the summer he’d just debuted and looked like he barely slept.

And there you were beside him, every time. Quietly loving him in the margins of those pictures.

This year’s photo sits on top now. His eyes are crinkled from the sun, arm brushing yours, and you can still remember how your heart jumped at how close he was. You trace the words you’d written on the back.

“Year ten. Still the best part of my summer.”

It was true. But also not the whole truth.

Your phone buzzes.

[ Joshua ]

u up?

You bite back a smile.

[ You ]

barely. what’s up? everything okay?

[ Joshua ]

can’t sleep. kept thinking about today.

A pause.

[ Joshua ]

can i ask something weird?

[ You ]

always

There’s a delay. You can almost feel him typing and retyping the message.

[ Joshua ]

what do u write on the back of the photos?

You freeze.

This isn’t the first time he’s asked, but it’s the first time it feels like he means it. Like maybe he’s finally wondering if he’s missed something all these years.

[ You ]

stuff. thoughts. memories.

you’ll read them one day. promise.

Another pause.

Then:

[ Joshua ]

i think i’m scared to read them.

Your breath catches.

[ You ]

why?

It takes him three minutes to respond.

[ Joshua ]

bc what if they say something i should’ve known all along?

Your fingers hover over the keyboard, unsure what to say.

Because the truth is—

They do.

—

Joshua’s POV

He wasn’t snooping.

He really wasn’t.

He’d only gone looking for a spare charging cable—your bag was always a treasure trove of backups for disorganized idols—and with tour practice starting early tomorrow, he figured you wouldn’t mind.

What he didn’t expect to find was the envelope.

It was buried beneath a planner and an old notebook in your tote, sealed but not tightly. Just tucked. Familiar. Too familiar.

The envelope was thick, frayed at the corners, and handwritten in black ink:

“Polaroids – Year 1 to Now”

His chest tightened.

He knew he shouldn’t. He should drop it, put it back, pretend he never saw it. But curiosity has a way of cracking through even the best intentions—and this time, it wasn’t just curiosity.

It was hope.

That maybe he hadn’t been imagining things all these years. That maybe you’d been saying something he never learned to listen for.

His fingers trembled as he opened the flap.

They were all there. Ten Polaroids, each one dated in neat handwriting. Each one a memory.

He stopped at the photo from four years ago—year six.

The one where you were laughing, mid-motion, a little blurred, but radiant. He remembered that day because you’d spilled soda on your shirt and were trying to hide it behind his jacket. He’d called you ridiculous and beautiful in the same breath.

The note on the back read:

“One day, I’ll laugh about how easy it was to fall for someone who never looked at me that way.”

His heart stopped.

He stared at the photo for what felt like hours.

Had you meant him?

It had to be him.

Right?

—

Y/N’s POV

You knew something was wrong the moment you stepped into the dorm kitchen.

Joshua couldn’t meet your eyes.

He was stirring instant coffee with the kind of focus usually reserved for choreography, and the other boys were way too quiet for a room that had both Seungkwan and Minghao in it.

Your bag was on the table.

Open.

Your blood ran cold.

You stepped forward slowly, heartbeat pounding in your ears. "Josh?"

He looked up.

And held out a Polaroid.

Your breath caught the second you saw it.

Year six.

No. No no no no no—

“I wasn’t trying to find it,” he said, voice careful. Gentle. “But I read it. And I need to know if it’s about me.”

The room faded. Time stopped.

All that was left was his voice. His eyes. And ten years of everything unsaid between you.

You swallowed. “It was always about you.”

He blinked. Like he’d heard the answer but didn’t know how to hold it.

Then—quietly—he asked:

“How long?”

You let out a breath. “Eight years ago.. Maybe earlier. You were the only thing I looked forward to that summer.”

He looked down at the photo in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t know.”

“I know,” you said. “That’s why I never told you.”

There was silence.

Then, like a crack in something long frozen, he asked:

“Do I still have time to catch up?”

You blinked. “What?”

He looked at you—really looked—and his voice shook with something too tender to be casual.

“Because I think I’ve been writing mine for you all along. I just never knew how to say it.”

—

Y/N’s POV

It rains the next time you see him.

Not a summer sprinkle or the kind of drizzle that passes in minutes—but the kind of steady, thoughtful rain that paints the whole city in soft, gray light. The kind of weather where memories cling to windows and old feelings seep back into everything.

You wait for him in a corner booth of the café near Pledis, the one he used to drag you to before rehearsals when he insisted “coffee just tastes better when you’re sitting down with someone you like.”

You had pretended not to overthink the word like back then. Now, you don’t know what to do with it at all.

The door jingles, and he walks in—hood up, sneakers soaked, and a folded umbrella dripping in his hand. His eyes meet yours instantly.

Soft. Familiar. A little hesitant.

“Hey,” he says, breathless like he ran the last block.

You smile. “You’re late.”

“I had to get something first.”

He sits down and slides a small bag across the table. Inside is a Polaroid camera.

Brand new.

You blink. “What is this?”

“The one you have barely works anymore,” he says with a shy grin. “I figured… if we’re starting over, we should do it right.”

Your breath catches.

Starting over.

You study him, unsure how to hold all the feelings that rise in your chest at once. “So… what now?”

He pulls out the camera and holds it up, aiming it gently at you. “We make a new photo. And I get to write on the back this time.”

You freeze. “Now?”

He nods. “I’ve waited ten years. That’s long enough.”

The shutter clicks.

The moment freezes—your wide-eyed expression, his soft grin behind the lens, the warmth between you that even the rain can’t touch.

He takes the photo as it prints and flips it over. You don’t try to peek. You just watch him write, pen slow and steady.

When he finishes, he turns it over and passes it to you.

You read:

“Year 10.5, The summer I finally saw what was always right in front of me.”

Your fingers tremble as you hold it.

“I don’t want to miss anything else,” he says, voice low. “Not with you.”

You look up, eyes wet. “So what are we now?”

He reaches across the table and gently takes your hand.

“If you’ll let me,” he whispers, “I want to be the person you write about from now on. And not just once a year.”

The rain taps on the window, steady and soft.

You smile.

“Okay.”

And this time, when he takes another photo—You kiss him right after the flash.

—

Y/N’s POV

It’s been a year.

Twelve months since he found the envelope. Since the café. Since that rainy evening when you finally said yes to something that had been waiting in the wings of both your lives for too long.

You still carry the envelope.

But it’s a new one now. Clean, uncreased. The old photos are safe in a box under your bed—tucked away like love letters from a version of you that was always waiting.

Now, each photo gets its own sleeve. And each note is now signed with both your names.

You sit on the same beach, knees pressed to your chest, a breeze curling through your hair. Joshua’s beside you, arms resting loosely on his legs, camera balanced in his lap. There’s sand on his jeans and sunlight in his eyes.

The sky’s a watercolor above you.

“Ready?” he asks.

You nod, and he lifts the camera.

You lean into him just before the shutter clicks. He laughs—really laughs—and the moment seals in the photo: wind-swept, sunlit, shared.

He doesn’t write this time.

He hands it to you.

You grin and scrawl your words slowly, deliberately, letting them soak into the paper before you flip it around and place it on his thigh.

“Year eleven. We’re not waiting anymore.”

—

Joshua’s POV

He reads the words again and again.

There’s still something magical about seeing your handwriting next to him—still something soft in the way you look at him, like you’re remembering every version of him at once.

He turns to you. “Can I keep this one?”

You blink. “You want to break the streak?”

He nods. “I’ve already waited long enough. This year, I don’t want to leave the memories behind.”

You smile and hand him the photo like it’s the easiest thing in the world to give.

“You can have it,” you say. “Just remember where it started.”

He tucks it gently into his wallet. Right behind the one from the rainy café. The one that said he finally saw what was always right in front of him.

Now, he sees it every day.

—

One Year Later A different beach.

Same camera.

New photo.

This time, you’re holding up a tiny pair of sneakers between you, mid-laugh, your hands overlapping.

And on the back of the Polaroid, written in Joshua’s tidy scrawl:

“Year twelve. We’re making room for one more.”

—

The Polaroid Captions — Year 1 to Year 12

Year 1 — “First summer, first photo. I hope we keep coming back here.” Written by you. Your handwriting was shy and a little crooked. He hadn’t started looking at you like that yet.

Year 2 — “Your laugh still sounds like home. I think I miss it even when I’m next to you.” You’d written it after a long walk back to the bus. He offered you his jacket. You didn’t know how to say thank you without saying more.

Year 3 — “He brought me ice cream when I said I didn’t want any. I think he knows me better than I want him to.” This one was folded into your diary. You never told him how that moment made you ache with something almost like love.

Year 4 — “I hope he never stops smiling at me like that. Even if it’s not the way I want him to.” You sat beside him watching the fireworks. He didn’t know your heart was in your throat the whole time.

Year 5 — “You said I’m your favorite part of this beach. You didn’t mean it the way I heard it, but I’m keeping it anyway.” That night, you replayed his voice in your head like a broken song you didn’t want to fix.

Year 6 — “One day, I’ll laugh about how easy it was to fall for someone who never looked at me that way.” This was the one he found by accident. The one that made him stop pretending he hadn’t seen the signs.

Year 7 — “He doesn’t know I write songs about him in my head. He hums them without knowing who they’re for.” You almost burned this one. Almost.

Year 8 — “He asked if I was seeing anyone. I said no. He smiled. I wish I could ask him why.” You kept this one in your wallet for a while. You don’t know why.

Year 9 — “I think if I told him, I’d lose him. But if I don’t… I might lose myself.” This one was smudged. You’d cried while writing it.

Year 10 — “Still the best part of my summer.” The year you almost said it. You almost did. He felt it. And later, he’d tell you that this caption haunted him the most.

Year 10.5 — (Joshua’s first) “The summer I finally saw what was always right in front of me.” He didn’t stop smiling the entire time he wrote it. Your hands were in his lap. You kissed him after.

Year 11 — “We’re not waiting anymore.” You wrote it without hesitation. You’d spent ten years hesitating. You were done.

Year 12 — (Joshua’s handwriting) “We’re making room for one more.” A photo of you both laughing, holding tiny sneakers between you. A family forming. A beginning.

—

Bonus Scenes: 

Joshua’s POV Year One

It wasn’t supposed to mean anything.

A quick weekend trip before training picked up again. Something to clear their heads after months of nonstop schedules and sleepless rehearsals. Their manager—you, barely older than the youngest member and still learning how to use the company credit card—had somehow convinced the staff to let them go.

Just two days at the beach. Nothing fancy.

But something shifted that weekend. He still didn’t have the words for it.

Back then, you were just the girl who always carried emergency snacks and scolded Seungcheol like you’d raised him. You kept a journal the size of your palm and wrote in it when you thought no one was watching. (He was always watching. Quietly.)

You wore sunglasses that didn’t quite fit and an oversized hoodie you stole from one of the stylists.

And on that first afternoon, you asked him to take a Polaroid with you.

“Why me?” he’d asked, laughing nervously, wiping sunscreen off his nose.

“Because you’re the only one who won’t make a weird face on purpose,” you’d said with a grin. “Probably.”

He still remembered the sound of the camera shutter. The way you leaned just slightly toward him. The smell of salt in your hair.

Afterward, you flipped the photo over, pulled out a pen, and wrote:

“First summer, first photo. I hope we keep coming back here.”

You didn’t look at him when you handed it over. Just smiled like it was any other day, any other moment.

But something in his chest tugged. Hard.

Maybe it was the way your eyes lingered on the ocean like you were already writing poems in your head. Or how you let your hand brush his when you tucked the photo back in your pocket.

Or maybe it was just that—for the first time—he wondered what it would be like to hold that hand for real.

He never told anyone that night that he couldn’t sleep. Not because of the sand, or the mosquito bites, or the noise from the maknaes.

But because he kept hearing your voice in his head:

“I hope we keep coming back here.”

And something inside him whispered: Me too.

Even then.

Even before he knew.

—

📸 Year 1 — "First summer, first photo. I hope we keep coming back here."

Joshua’s memory: He thought your smile would fade after the shutter clicked, but it didn’t. You kept grinning, eyes crinkled, like this photo meant something more to you than just a souvenir.

He wondered what it would mean to you if he reached for your hand and didn’t let go.

He didn’t. But he thought about it all night.

📸 Year 3 — “He brought me ice cream when I said I didn’t want any.”

Joshua’s memory: You hadn’t asked for it. He just knew you’d change your mind after a few bites—you always did.

He watched the way your expression softened when you tasted the flavor you liked best. You smiled without looking at him.

That night, he wrote a melody about it. No lyrics. Just something light and sweet that sounded like you laughing into the ocean wind.

📸 Year 5 — “You said I’m your favorite part of this beach.”

Joshua’s memory: He did say it. Casually. Without thinking.

But when he saw the way you paused—how your lips parted slightly like you were trying not to hope too hard—he felt something twist in his stomach.

He realized then: he liked that you looked at him like that. And it terrified him.

📸 Year 6 — “One day, I’ll laugh about how easy it was to fall for someone who never looked at me that way.”

Joshua’s memory: He found this photo after 4 years, slipped in an envelope with all the others in your room. The caption punched the air out of his lungs.

He didn’t know who you were talking about.

But he hoped—God, he hoped—it was him.

He never asked. But after that, he started seeing you differently.

Or maybe he just let himself admit that he always had.

📸 Year 9 — “I think if I told him, I’d lose him. But if I don’t… I might lose myself.”

Joshua’s memory: You looked so quiet that year. Softer. Tired, maybe. Or maybe he just hadn’t noticed how much of your brightness came from pretending.

He wanted to say something—to ask what was wrong, to tell you he’d stay no matter what.

But you smiled and said you were fine.

And he didn’t want to ruin the beach tradition by telling you how his hands wouldn’t stop shaking when they brushed yours.

📸 Year 10.5 — “The summer I finally saw what was always right in front of me.”

Joshua’s memory: He wrote those words knowing you would cry.

He wanted you to. He wanted you to feel every year he’d spent wondering and worrying and waiting too long.

You didn’t cry, not then. But when you looked at him after reading it, he saw every photo reflected in your eyes.

He kissed you after the next shutter flash. He was done waiting.

📸 Year 12 — “We’re making room for one more.”

Joshua’s memory: You were already laughing before the picture printed. The baby shoes dangled from your hands like a secret you couldn’t keep any longer.

He looked at you like he’d never stop being in awe.

And maybe he wouldn’t.

He didn’t need a caption for that one. But he wrote one anyway. For the album. For the memory.

For the version of himself that always dreamed it might end like this.

masterlist ♪

[sydwritess]

The Silver Jacket

Kimi Antonelli x fem!reader

Summary: Kimi has been talking about how he needs a change in his fashion choices, one day while you are away, Kimi gets some advice from George, and the next day, he shows up to the circuit with a big silver jacket.

First Person POV

Warning: light swearing

Notes: y/f/f - your favorite food

Right now, me and Kimi are on the Monaco Circuit. He had just gotten done with a practice race, and we sat in his drivers room, letting him cool off from the heat.

"Ugh, I need a new style change." Kimi said, scrolling on his phone.

"Why do you say that?" I ask.

"Look." He said, turning his phone to me. "George has good clothes on all the time! So does Lando, and even Charles!" He exclaimed.

"I think your fashion sense is quite alright." I said.

"Maybe. But I need to change it up a bit. Not just boring old dress pants and button up anymore." He said quietly.

"Don't let it get to your head Kimi." I said.

"Maybe I could get some advice from George. He looks good. don't you think?" He asked while smirking.

"Is that a trick question?" I ask, matching his energy.

"No no. I'm being serious." He said while smiling.

"His clothes are alright. But don't forget, they are also used to this." I said, waving my hand across, pointing to the room. "The heat especially. They can wear what they want and not get effected." I said. He nodded.

"Yeah, your right."

"Don't let it get to your head though, seriously." I said, kissing his forehead.

"I have to go. But I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked.

"See you tomorrow." He said hugging me. "I love you."

"I love you to." I said, hugging him back and then leaving his room.

I woke up in my apartment, the sun shining on my face. I look over to check the time, but noticed Kimi had called. I quickly called him back, getting up to get ready.

"Hey, good morning." He said cheerfully.

"Morning. Are you at work?" I asked.

"Yeah, we had a emergency meeting scheduled." He sighed.

"Is everything okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, yeah everything is fine. Wolff probably wants to go over some last minute strategies." He said.

"Okay, well, I will be there soon. I woke up late." I said.

"It is no worries. Take your time." He said.

"Okay. Well, I'm going to get ready. I will see you there." I said.

"Bye. I will see you." He said, hanging up the call. I finished getting ready. Getting some breakfast before leaving. I was driving down the road when I got a text from Kimi, I ended up calling him instead.

"Hey, what's up?" He asked.

"Sorry, didn't want to text and drive." I said.

"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't know." He said in a low tone.

"Don't be, it's okay. How did the meeting go?" I asked.

"It went well, just talked about strategies and the cars and everything."

"Okay, I'm almost there so, I will see you in like 2 minutes?" I said.

"Okay. I will see you here." He said. I hung up and continued driving. Eventually I pull into the parking lot, luckily there was a separate lot for drivers and their guests, so it had plenty of parking. I got out of the car, showing the guards my bag and walked into the Mercedes garage.

"Hey! There you are!" George said, walking up to me. "Mate, Kimi has been so lonely without you he started crying nearly!" George laughed out.

"I did not George!" I heard Kimi's voice from the back of the garage. Then I saw Kimi appear from behind the car, walking up to me and giving me a hug.

"I did miss you But let's not tell George that." He whispered.

"Our little secret then." I said smiling.

"Right, I have something amazing to show you." Kimi said smiling, leading me out of the garage.

"I'm scared." I said laughing.

"Don't be, It's fine." He said, he led me over to this small booth with a lady in it. She instantly recognized Kimi and got a package out of a box from below her table.

"Here you go Kimi." She said smiling.

"Thank you." he said smiling, getting out his wallet to pay for the package. We then slowly walked away towards the garage.

"Here, this is for you." He said smiling, handing me the package. I looked at him with a slight smile and slowly started opening it, inside revealed a black tee-shirt with a slight teal color, it had the Mercedes brand on it and all of their sponsors.

"Flip it over." He said quickly, putting his hands together with excitement. I flip it over to see Kimi's number on the back, with my last name at the top. I look up at him to see a big smile plastered across his face.

"Thank you. This is so sweet." I said, hugging him.

"Your welcome." He said laughing quietly. "I saw her and asked if she do customs." He said.

"Yeah! You should have seen him! Like a little child in a candy store on a sugar rush!" George said, yelling from the garage. Me and Kimi both turn our heads to see George standing there with his arms crossed.

"Oh shut up you giraffe!" Kimi shouted, I laughed at his response. We both walked up to the garage, to George.

"I may be tall-"

"And have a long neck." Kimi interrupted, while laughing.

"Anyway. If you don't mind, I'm going to borrow him, he asked for my brilliant fashion advice." George said, looking at me.

"I don't care. Just make him look good." I said smirking..

"Oh I will, trust me." He said smirking, pulling Kimi in through the hospitality door. I wandered off, down through the garages, looking at all of the cars there.

"Hi y/n. Lovely seeing you here." A voice said from behind me, I turn to see that it was Lando and Max.

"Oh hi Lando, just came to visit Kimi, George ended up taking him." I said with a low laugh. I saw Lando chuckle to himself while Max rolled his eyes.

"Anyway. We were heading to the Paddock for lunch. Want to come?" Max asked.

"Yeah sure." I said, and started walking with them. We walked into the paddock and sat down at a tiny restaurant in there.

"Hello, welcome in, what can I start you off with today?" The waitress asked, brining out her notepad.

"Can I get a water, and a chicken burger?" Lando said. She nodded.

"I'll get the pasta with red sauce and water as well." Max said. She nodded again.

"I'll just get a y/f/f with water." I said.

"Alright. That will be right out for you." She said with a smile and walked back to the kitchen.

"How did I know you were going to get pasta." Lando smirked at Max.

"And how did I know you were going to get a chicken burger. Again." Max said with a smile, slightly laughing.

"I didn't expect you to order that much on a race weekend." I said.

"Yeah, didn't Zak sign you up for a nutritionist doctor or something?" Max asked.

"No! And I'd like to keep it that way." Lando said quietly scolding him.

"You know, it's not bad to have one." I said.

"Yes, it is! He won't even let me eat my kinder bars!" Lando said dramatically, sighing into his seat, Max started laughing hardly.

"Oh man mate! It's like you got ran over!" Max said, his laughter dying down. Eventually our food came out, we ate and then left the shop.

"Thanks for inviting me. I better go see what those two are up to." I said.

"Of course, your welcome." Max said. Lando nodded.

"I'll see you around." i said waving at them. They waved back and walked off. I went to hospitality to see Kimi standing outside of his room.

"Hey! How did fashion advice go?" I asked.

"Good good. What were you up to?" He asked.

"Lando and Max invited me to lunch. Some shop in the paddock." I said.

"That's nice of them." He smiled.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" He asked.

"Of course, I'll wake up earlier next time." I said laughing.

"Alright, I'll text you." He said, giving me a hug. I hugged back and left the building, making my way home.

It was now FP2 day, I had gotten to the circuit an hour ealier, hanging out in front of the Mercedes garage with George.

"Have you seen Kimi? He hasn't answer my text." I ask George.

"Ugh, It enlightens me to see that the young ones are still in love." He said, putting a hand on his heart.

"Um, were only 9 years apart. You know that right?" I said.

"I know, It pains me." He said dramatically. "But no, I don't know where he is." He said standing up seriously now.

"Okay." I said slowly.

"George! Y/n! Lovely to see you!" A voice said, we turn to see Charles, Carlos, Lando, Oscar, and Lewis walking up to us.

"How are you mate?" Lewis said to Charles.

"Oh you know, Y/n's getting sad that her Kimi isn't with her." George said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Okay you giraffe." i said, crossing my arms.

"Oh my what is he wearing?" Carlos said quietly, looking passed us. We turn around to see Kimi walking up in a big, puffy silver jacket, and small black shorts.

"Oh my goodness." Charles laughed.

"Mate, nice to see you." Kimi said to George.

"Seriously? This is the advice you gave him? To look like an astronaut?" I ask George, but I can't help myself from laughing.

"Yup. I just thought. Hm, what will look good on dear Kimi, and then, I gave him this." George said, swinging his hands around like he was present Kimi.

"Yes. I look fantastic right now." Kimi smirked. The guys all went around him to feel his jacket, and make small comments.

"Meet Kimi, no, not the F1 driver, the astronaut." Lando said teasingly.

"Mate, I look good right now, what are you talking about." Kimi laughed. The boys all got their looks in and went off on their own ways again, now it was me and Kimi standing in the garage alone.

"Aren't you hot in that?" I ask. He tilts his head a bit, looking at me.

"I'll survive." He smirked.

"Oh my, you look like you've wrapped yourself in tin foil." I said giggling.

"But you like it yeah?"

"Yes. I do, why not." I shrugged. "Are you happy you got the fashion advice out?" I ask while hugging him.

"Yup, And as always. I look amazing." He said while laughing.

"Yes you do." I said smiling.

Hey loves! Hope you like this one! Comment to be added to the f1 tag list!

[the-clumsywitchtarot]

What is Your Future Husband's Love Language?

Because maybe his love language is quality time and you need to know ahead of time to work it into your schedule.

Cards

10 of Swords (Reversed)

2 of Wands (Reversed)

Wheel of Fortune

I feel like your future husband's love language is acts of service, anything that would make their life flow more easily. Before starting the reading for this pile I felt a pull to listen to a song called "A Little Bit" by Erika de Casier so they may also have quality time as a love language but I feel like they're too proud or stoic to admit it. This person could definitely be someone that avoids becoming too emotional or lovey dovey. They seem like someone that only knows how to show love from a practical side, for instance if you need your oil changed they'll have it done to keep you from having to do it. But if you are someone that likes to have deep talks or is touchy feely they may reject that. Another song that came up was "Strong as Glass" by Goapele.

Cards

6 of Wands

10 of Wands (Reversed)

The World

Apparently this is going to be a musical reading because starting your pile I felt the need to put on the song "All This Love" by Trey Songz. Your future husband's love language is words of affirmation, he is someone that is going to love hearing how well you thinks he's doing. And how much love him, when you give this man a compliment he is going to be in cloud 9. And if you send him text throughout the day just to let him know that you're thinking of him, he will love that! I can see a man getting a text, reading it, and then just beaming afterwards. He just wants to know that he is loved and appreciated. You do that and he'll be willing to give you the world (I know, an ironic choice of words considering you got the world card!) This is a side note but this pile gives me stay at home girlfriend vibes, well at least before you get married.

Cards

The Moon

4 of Swords

6 of Swords

This pile is interesting, I don't think your future husband will have any love language in particular but rather a combination of all of them. I feel like this person is just looking to quiet their minds and whichever of the love languages does that at any particular time is the one they'll want. I feel like this is a man that could've struggled opening up and expressing his needs at first. They may have been raised in a home or environment where their needs didn't matter or they were shown that they were not important in the eyes of their caregiver(s). This is a man that may have grown up in the foster care system. I feel like you will help him to realize that he is just as important and worthy of love and care as anyone else. I feel like he'll be so comfortable opening up to you that you will help him become in tune with what he needs. For any of those of you that are worried that this is someone that is an emotionally wounded boy man. Don't worry, I don't see that being the case, I think this is someone that has emotional intelligence when it comes to others but he just needs to be given permission to have it when it comes to himself. I feel like you guys will bring out the absolute best in each other effortlessly. I'm hearing the phrase "there are no perfect people but there are people perfect for each other."

Thank you for reading and please feel free to let me know which pile you chose! 🩷

- Erika, The Clumsy Witch

[starrvsn]

﹙ SHOW/FANDOM ⠆911﹚

PAIRING ⠆eddie diaz x single-parent!reader

CATEGORIES ⠆fluff, baby’s first words!, single-parent!reader, brief mention of choking, a kind of what are we situation, lots of plot for no apparent reason. not canon to the 911 timeline!

OVER THE INTERCOM ⠆i got a little carried away with this one but ive been so obsessed with this show i just needed to write something, so please enjoy!

𝟒𝟏𝟏. your finally shares her first words and it’s nothing like you expected, based off a prompt that says we’re friends and my child’s first words were your name… i’m jealous but also endeared.

you had met eddie when addison was six months old– he responded to a call where your baby was choking on a carrot that you had thought was soft enough to eat, thankfully they had gotten there quick enough for eddie to perform the appropriate heimlich to retrieve the piece of carrot stuck in her throat. whilst they had your daughter overnight at the hospital, he had visited you. partically to see if your daughter was holding up okay, but mainly for you. he knew as a father himself how hard you must’ve been on yourself and offered to take you out for coffee as comfort, share silimar experiences which lead to a blossoming friendship.

eddie was always there for when you felt misguided in parenthood, always there to lend a shoulder and give you advice you needed whilst he was still figuring out how to be a good father to christopher. addison and chris became fast friends as well– despite her being a toddler and chris being fourteen, he looked after her like a sister, reading books to her and looking forward to the days you’d drop her off sometimes when you didn’t have a sitter, it was almost like a little family and you were content with that.

now, addison is almost a year old and has been growing up wonderfully. eddie was there for a majority of her milestones, when she started crawling and beginning to stand on her own and almost taking her first steps. you and eddie were on blurred lines, whilst you appreciated him being there for you and you’re daughter, you both knew getting into a serious relationship or even putting a label to things was tricky, still navigating so many changes in your lifestyle and his, it was easier to just call yourselves friends.

eddie and chris are over are you apartment today for your regularly scheduled sunday breakfast, something you made a tradition after you grew paranoid with feeding addison on your own, so in order to ease your worries eddie offered to come over every sunday to make sure breakfast would go swimmingly. at first he came on his own but then started bringing chris after a few weeks, claiming he had fomo– which was just a coverup because chris knows about you and wanted to meet you, but eddie didn’t want you knowing he talks about you, especially to his son. in those five months you’ve all gotten closer– seeing christopher slowly mature over that time and seeing his closeness with addison, it was something you didn’t want to ruin.

it was a nice sunday morning, so you decided to eat outside on your patio, there was a slight breeze but the sun was warm enough to keep the chill away. you’ve got the full spread of a classic breakfast: plates full of pancakes, fruit, bacon and scrambled eggs, a perfect breakfast. addison is sitting at the head of the table in her high chair, you’re sat next to her with eddie and chris across from you. you try your best to give addison the food your eating so she doesn’t feel left out, which you know she does, her emotions developing and finding out clearer way to express herself. on her plate are bits and pieces of fruit and plain pancakes cut into smaller, digestible pieces– even now you still check with eddie to make sure they’re not too big, not that he has ever minded.

the morning air is light, filled with laughter and passing stories about chris’ new crush or what’s been going on at school, eddie talking about the squadron– their calls and a little chismes about their current qualms outside of work. you laugh and react to their stories, it would be a lie if you didn’t enjoy them– your job was quite mundane but kept you stable so this was something you looked forward to before the busy week ahead of you.

eddie is mid sentence talking about bucks recent dilemma with tommy when addison lets out a loud babble and slaps both palms against the tray of her high chair.

“foods good huh, chiquita?” he hums to her endearingly, nodding along to her babbling, an endearing smile gracing his face. it was hard to not imagine eddie becoming a father figure to addison, he’s a great father to chris and bonds so easily with your daughter, it’s selfish and a crazy thought but is something that has crossed your mind for than once.

“addie’s has been talking a lot more recently, hasn’t she?” chris chimes in, looking over at addison who’s picking up another strawberry. i remember when you started talking eddie reminisces, going on about how his first words were when he’s was on deployment and wishes he was there to witness it.

you hum, thoughtfully. lifting your napkin to dab a smear of syrup from the corner of addison’s mouth. “she has, i’m waiting for the moment she says her first words.” a part of eddie wishes he could be there for it.

breakfast continues, more jokes and stories were shared with addisons babbling reactions in the mix. then, addison starts babbling again, less random this time. more focused. insistent.

"dee... da... eh-"

your eyes snap to her immediately, chest tightening just slightly because you've been waiting for this moment. her first real word. you've been expecting "mama." hoping for it, really. eddie's already chewing on a bite of pancake, looking over at her with soft eyes. chris, mid-sip of orange juice, sets his cup down carefully.

the moment stills as you daughter tries to find her footing, she’s been saying sounds that sound like words but not quite there, this could be the moment though. you all watch her with bated breath, no way of telling if her first words will come from her lips. then addison turns to eddie. waving her chubby hand at him and beams.

"eh-dee!" the table falls silent, eddies eyes are already on you trying to gage your reaction. your mind is blank, you never expected her first words to be his name, not even mama, not even chris’.

she then looks at you, big bright eyes as if she’s awaiting your reaction. you clear your throat, sitting a little straighter in your seat. “that’s right baby, that’s eddie right there isn’t he.” addison flashes a gummy smile at you, nodding at your words, smart little girl. postive reinforcement! reguardless of her first word, at least she got there in the end and makes it clear as day. chris is next to react, breaking out into a loud, shocked laugh. "no way! did she-? did she just say?"

"eddie," she says again, a little more proudly this time, her tiny voice clear as day. "eddie!" you look at eddie, who seems to be in more shock than you, his eyes like a deer caught in headlights, his jaw dropped a little. it isn’t until you brushed your foot against his under the table, he shifts, eyes finally focusing to you. his are wide, soft, apologetic all at once.

"she-uh," he clears his throat, setting down his fork. "she said my name."

"yeah." your voice comes out smaller than intended, a touch breathy. "yeah, she did."

addison claps, giggling like she's solved world peace. your heart squeezes.

"i didn't teach her that," eddie says, like he needs you to believe him. "i swear. i always call myself tío or just talk about 'your mama' when i'm with her—i never-"

you wave a hand, the corners of your mouth twitching. "no, i know. i believe you. it's just.." you glance at your daughter, cheeks pink and eyes so happy. "i thought it would be me, you know? or even chris. not-"

"not me," eddie says quietly.

your eyes meet again. the air between you shifts, heavy with something unspoken. but neither of you address it, just push it aside for later, shifting your mood to the fact it was addisons first word, praising her endlessly, ignoring the swirl of warmth in your stomach when she babbled eddies name when he took her out of her high chair.

later, whilst you’re cleaning up from breakfast, now early afternoon. christopher is sitting snuggly on your loveseat, he’s enthusiastically reading to addison, making silly voices and sound exaggerations to make the story of the little red riding hood more entertaining.

you and eddie are doing dishes. he’s washing while you’re drying. it was silent at first, neither of you knew what to say. how to approach this conversation, hey my daughters first word was your name what does this mean? this was not something you read about in your guide to motherhood books. you couldn’t even form appropriate words without giving anything away. eddie knew it would lead to other unanswered things to your friendship that sometimes seemed more than what it was. eddie was content with what you had going on but lingering in his mind knew he wanted more, you wanted more.

it was just difficult to approach, you didn’t want to overstep or mislead. you never really settled on what your friendship had turned into, afraid of shifting your dynamic into something awkward and that would lead to being distant then into being out of touch and away from each others lives which neither of you wanted. if the conversation needed to be had, it was now.

eddies the one to break the silence “well, that was unexpected,” he murmurs, addisons little voice ringing in his head, he felt so delighted and warm when she has said it, it was a moment he wanted to experience with chris and it just so happened with your daughter, that’s evidently not his.

“…very unexpected.” you cough, picking at the threads of the dishtowel. unsure how the lead the conversation. the silence stretches again, this time a little less heavy, a little more expectant. like the moment is gently asking you both to be brave.

“but it wasn’t unwelcome, i didn’t think it’d make me feel so much.” he adds, glancing at you sideways, his voice barely above the hum of christopher’s animated storytelling in the background. “it did though, hearing her sweet little voice say my name…made me happy.” dishes are long forgotten and his soapy hands stand at the edge of the basin.

“yeah…” you trail, “made me happy too, just don’t know what happens now.” your throat feels tight, not in a bad way just anticipating his words.

your hands clutching tightly on the rag, eyes focused on the pattern away from his gaze. he pauses, turning to fully face you. his hands grasps yours, giving them a gentle squeeze. as if begging you to look at him. you slowly turn to him, your body before your head– gazing at him through your lashes.

he looks at you, really looks, like he’s searching for something in your eyes that’ll give him all the answers. his eyes are soft, with something raw and vulnerable he only ever shows in quiet moments like these. "i know we’ve been walking this weird line for a while now. friends, but sometimes it feel like we’re more than friends. you’re important to me. and addie—she means a lot to me too. maybe more than i realized."

you don’t look away. your heart thuds loud in your ears. "i’ve thought about it," you admit softly. "more than i should. i just didn’t want to ruin what we have. what we’ve built. it’s been safe. and good."

"it still can be," he says gently, moving your hands close to him, moving closer, closing the gap between you. "just... maybe with more honesty. more intention."

"you think we could make it work?"

he smiles then, a more meaningful one. "i think we already are. we just haven’t admitted it to ourselves yet."

you glance toward the living room; addison is squealing at christopher’s overly dramatic wolf impression, clapping her hands, her joy bouncing off the walls of your little home. it feels warm. like family.

"i want to try," you say, voice steady now. "not for her. not because of today. but because i want to. because you’re the first person i feel like i don’t have to pretend with."

he leans closer, as if telling you a secret only for you to hear. his big brown eyes boring into yours. "i’m not perfect. i’m still learning. still messing up." he means it.

"so am i," you say with a soft laugh. "but maybe we can figure it out together."

"yeah," he says, moving his hands to your waist and into a hug, cheek against your hair, it warm and content, like secret promises and new beginning "together sounds good."

just like that, everything you had been worrying about, are washed away and into something more, something real and worth it.

ownership of starrvsn. please do not repost, modify or translate.

[celuere]

How are you Alba? I hope your routine hasn't been too tiring recently and that you're doing well and having time to rest, you deserve it!!

Taking a break from the freak requests, (which I hope you had received, because if you didn't it's going to make this paragraph start weird👎👎👎) I came here to earnestly ask for a fluff and wholesome fic about Arlecchino and reader putting together a nusery for their child... I know it's a bit '????' but listen:

Creating a newborn's nusery is very complicated, it is the place where parents will spend most of their time in the first few months after the baby is born, not to mention that the decoration will probably remain the same for a good three years, only changing the toys that will be scattered on the floor. Between trying to guess a possible taste that your child might have and combining a normally super childish aesthetic with the rest of the house, as well as predict what would be a good investment in the future or not, from the best cribs to toys, not even mentioning the discussions that arise between expecting parents due to the different views that each one has to the room, It's a challenge.

Although I believe that Arlecchino would have a good knowledge about it, after all she is a director of an orphanage, she certainly knows what is useless to put in and what is indispensable. Even if any doubt arises about what itens to brought, she would research madly for an answer or even ask for help from the children in the House of Hearth for a more concrete opinion. If I were to guess, both Reader and Arlecchino would quickly come to a consensus on the theme and decorations (Peruere is completely in love, she would only let her wife choose everything, including a little stuffed bunny that strangely looks like her...), while the heavier work of assembling furniture and painting walls are left to a more specialized workforce or to the Knave itself when she wants to show herself to her beloved wife.

As I don't want to take away too much of your creative freedom, I'll end the request here. Feel free to modify any of the ideas. The choice is entirely yours, after all, I don't want that this request become boring for you.

(Just gonna add if here: they have a cat, because for sure Arle's a cat person; spiders and cats look alike)

Thank you in advance for reading this message, you are a sweetheart Alba,

With care, 🍰 anon.

i swear ANYTHING related to papacchino gives me heavy babyfever i can't do this anymore💔 i hope i caught the right vibe, i‘m really tired writing this so i‘m sorry for any grammar mistakes or misplaced words😞

divider by @/anitalenia

„wouldn't a purple theme be more prettier?"

„....purple? my love, you insisted on an orange theme two weeks ago."

scratching your cheek with your index finger, you recalled the memory of you a bunch of days ago where you stood before the nursery, color palettes in hand.

„my... i almost forgot about that... can we still change it?”

it was moments like these where arlecchino grew a bit older. but with a short glance down to your hand resting on top of your baby belly, wedding ring glistening in the candlelight, where she quickly shook those thoughts off.

„i'll see what i can do since the painters are already scheduled for tomorrow morning...", but whatever her wife wishes, she shall receive.

choosing a color theme for your babies bedroom turned out to be the easier task.

„where should we put the crib...? or the changing table? we also need a little corner for her to play in- and a nursing chair too and-”

„ma amour, ne nous précipitons pas. nous avons encore beaucoup de temps avant qu'elle soit là."

„my love, let's not rush. we still have plenty of time until she is here.", a gentle hand came up to squeeze your shoulder.

deciding on furniture was torture. everything was too adorable to not buy. the both of you wanted her to not miss out on anything but maybe you don't need a dozen plushies for a newborn. if it were not for that one stuffed rabbit that had an uncanny resemblance to a certain someone...

„you are right, i just... i want this to be perfect for her. even if she probably won't remember her nursery, i want her to feel special... wanted...", your eyes were laced with a love that had yet to bloom. you rubbed almost instinctively the downside of your belly. you still had five more months to go but celestia knows how fast these will fly by too.

you were too focused to notice your husband's breath stilling at your words.

special...

wanted...

„yes... special...", the word rung in her ears for longer than expected before she saw it. a clear vision of what the knave may have in mind for the nursery.

„why don't we grab some paints from a nearby workshop during our daily walk later?", you felt her fingertips brushing over your skin as she shoves some loose hair strands behind your ear. she is keeping her usually sharp nails neatly trimmed ever since the news of your pregnancy first came out.

„father... are you sure...? isn't this supposed to be something... unique?"

„that is exactly why i am bestowing you with this task. now go on, let your creativity roam free.”

the knave watched her children exchange almost ecstatic glances before they rushed to the paintbrushes sitting atop a table laid out with old newspapers. with only the most high-quality paints already getting fought over.

it was a beautiful day. the mild sun spending just enough warmth to not start sweating with a gentle breeze ghosting through the trees of the estate.

and arlecchino watched her kids turning the changing table and the crib into a beautiful, joyous canvas.

fingerprints, messy brush strokes and explosions of all kinds of bright color, yet the fatui harbinger never looked more at ease as the laughter of her children filled the estate of the hearth.

you were neatly tucked away in your bedroom, not feeling well enough to leave the comfort of your sheets.

all the more reason for your husband to be looking forward to the results- and your reaction.

a nursery for your baby without the influence of her siblings... unimaginable. not even worth considering.

but the joy was short-lived until they started painting each other. that's when arle started to regret her choices. their pretty clothes.... and yet kids will be kids. she turned a blind eye to their silliness this one time.

arlecchino just hoped the colors would come off of their faces....

[milkoomi]

how i maintained a 4.0 gpa. ᥫ᭡

a lot of students strive to be the “perfect” student, me included! i’ve been able to achieve academic success, and i’m here to share my knowledge on how to do so! these are some things that have personally helped me, and so hopefully they can help you too! maintaining a 4.0 isn’t an easy feat, and i know that from first-hand experience. i haven’t always maintained this gpa, especially when i entered college, but i started implementing new things into my routine and study sessions that have helped me immensely!

let’s begin …

୨ৎ — daily/weekly planning

this was a game changer for me! especially coming back into college after taking some time off from school, planning my day/week out helped me tremendously! it helps you set aside time for schoolwork/studying as well as things that are more personal (i.e. self care, running personal errands, appointments/events, hang outs with friends/loved one, etc.).

time blocks

if you have a planner that includes an hourly schedule, use it! i recently got one that has one, and it’s helped me so much! getting an idea of a time frame for how long you work on school assignments or for studying can also help to alleviate any overwhelming feelings that a to-do list might give you (though, i am a huge fan of to-do lists personally!).

to-do lists

if you’re like me, and you enjoy lists, i highly recommend creating a to-do list! keep it simple if those kinds of lists tend to overwhelm you and create a more generalized to-do list.

generalized list example:

review course modules

complete 2 hours of work

rest for 30min - 1hr

journal before bed

the key with generalized to-do lists is to keep them very simple! maybe include the most important goals for your day/week, but avoid including every single thing you need to get done for the day!

୨ৎ — consistent routine

i’ve talked about routines a plethora of times, and you’ll hear so many others talk about it as well, but routines are so important when you’re on the road to academic success!

i’ve been able to feel more accomplished with a set routine during the week. waking up at the same time, ensuring i set aside time at night to myself, and time-blocking portions of my day to complete tasks! a good routine will help you stay on track.

even if you don’t have a set morning/night routine, still try to establish a good study/schoolwork routine! create a study ritual where you light your favorite candle, set the mood with ambient lighting (or whatever lighting you prefer), or maybe you have a designated study spot at a library or café!

if you do create a study routine, it would also be a good idea to freshen things up a bit here and there so that the tasks don’t start to seem mundane! maybe change up the location of where you study or maybe you might want to listen to a different playlist while you work or even starting with a different class instead of the usual first choice.

don’t be afraid to spice things up in your routine, even if it’s the smallest changes. doing so can also help prevent burn out!

୨ৎ — completing assignments ahead of time

working ahead (if possible) is always a great choice to make! or even simply just getting assignments done the day they were assigned is also a good idea! get your homework out of the way so that you can create more space for personal time to rest and recharge or, if you’re feeling energized and motivated, more time to focus on studying for upcoming exams!

also, making sure you get assignments done well before their due date also ensures that you work thoroughly and efficiently. it prevents rushed work and lessens the chances of any mistakes!

be diligent when it comes to your homework assignments! if you have the time now, get it done!

୨ৎ — attending all lectures

this is so important! catching up with missed assignments, notes, and lectures can be extremely overwhelming. it leads to that feeling of needing to rush your work and then creating that opportunity for mistakes. it’s also just, in general, difficult to keep up with your classes when you aren’t physically present in class. you lose the opportunity to ask questions in class, to take proper notes, to record lectures for later studying, and you miss out on key information/announcements from your teachers/professors.

of course, there will be days where you literally cannot make it to class, and that’s okay! don’t go beating yourself up for having to take a sick day, your health always comes first! be sure to communicate with your professors and to ask any and all necessary questions!

but i only bring this point up because it’s something that’s helped me succeed. plus, some of my grade depended on my attendance, which you’ll come to find while in college.

୨ৎ — creating connections

build relationships with your classmates and your professors! this is a really great way of ensuring you get good grades! how? well, as i mentioned in my post about how to study effectively, i brought up study groups. if you start building connections with your classmates, you’ll be able to create those study groups and work with others to continue to learn and study the material! it will help so much to have another friend who can help you out with a topic that you might be struggling with!

also, connecting with your professors is really great for 1. setting that good impression for yourself and 2. building that relationship with them allows for more comfort and ease of mind when you need to go to them for extra help and guidance! your professors are there to aid you in any way they can to help you achieve success in their class. i know it might be daunting to reach out to your professors, but i promise that they’re there to help you and that they are more than willing to guide you on the path to success!

୨ৎ — implementing study methods

i touched on various study methods in my post that i linked in the previous point! but study methods can give you a variety of new ways to learn the material! also, playing around with the material in different methods can spice up your study routine while also seeing what kind of methods get the topics to really stick.

i definitely recommend referring back to my “how to study effectively” post for a more detailed discussion on studying!

୨ৎ — romanticizing school

when i started treating myself as the main character, it gave me so much more motivation to get things done for myself. including my studies!

think of yourself as rory gilmore, blair waldorf, elle woods, hermione granger, or any of those iconic, studious characters!

how to romanticize your education:

set an aesthetic for yourself

light academia

dark academia

pink academia

coquette

there’s so many different aesthetics out there that you can play around with or follow to get inspiration! pinterest will be your best friend, and i recommend creating a school/study vision board with the aesthetic of your choice!

once you’ve settled on an aesthetic (or a few, whatever you’d like!) find school supplies that relate to what you chose! fancy notebooks, planners, cool pens/pencils/highlighters, and maybe be a new bag that fits into your style! having the supplies that bring you joy make your studying experience ten times better, trust me!

dress the part

again, take inspiration from your favorite educational icons! or simply, wear what you feel the most confident in! when you show up to class knowing you look good along with having those supplies that you know look aesthetically pleasing, you feel like you’re already a top student!

your study environment

this gets talked about a lot, but when i’m studying in my freshly cleaned room that’s been decorated to my liking and i have a nice candle going with my choice of lighting, i feel like my studying experience is a million times better! even when i go to a café to study or i’m in the library to get work done, i just feel like the main character in my own movie (which i am because, hey! it’s my life!)

let your workspace be your ideal space! when you work in an environment where you can get things done and you feel comfortable, you can accomplish so much.

study playlists

those ambient vibes playlists on youtube with those really aesthetically pleasing backgrounds on them are my go-to whenever i’m getting work done. it helps set the vibe for my sessions and it puts me in a good headspace to get into the grind! so pick a playlist that motivates you to get tasks done!

my favorite youtube study music videos:

Winter Jazz Library - Chill Crossing Hour

** i also recommend this channel for all their playlists!

Get to Work Sleepyhead - jelly

4-Hour Study with Me - Emmalilyn

** Emmalilyn has so many of these kinds of 4-hour study with me videos! i believe majority of them include the pomodoro method, so if that’s something you do or want to try i definitely recommend her channel!

2-Hour Study with Me - Tanyi

୨ৎ — final notes

those are all the tips i had to share with you all! this is what has personally worked for me, so there might be some things that might not work or you might do differently! regardless, you are capable of achieving great success throughout your academic career! never forget that. school is all about learning, and one of the things you learn is what works best for you and your road to success! do whatever works for you and play around with different ideas and methods! i wish you all the very best for your academic career! i’m rooting for you!

with lots of love, faustina 🌷

[a-fellow-stay]

Reconnect

+☆+━･━･━ + ━･━♬ ┓

Pairing: Bang Chan x reader

Summary: As the year ends, you are scrolling through your photos. But you realise that you and chan have growth apart over the years. With that, chan comes home. And a conversation happens when you realise you couldn’t recognise him for a second.

Genre: Angst/slight fluff/ a bit crack if you squint

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: cursing, (I don’t think there is anything else, but if you find it please tell me!)

Writer’s note: This is my first time ever writing anything sooo bare with me here. I did proofread this by myself but if I missed anything let me know. Feedback is welcome! I hope y’all enjoy this little something created from a thought I had. Also, condolences to SK for the accident yesterday. And give your loved ones a hug, it’s almost 2025!

———————

The four years with Chan has been a blessing and a curse. Throughout those four years, you’ve been there for the ups and downs of both his and his team’s lives. From Hyunjin’s suddenly hiatus to different comebacks and now being a “First Act In History” group. But for you and chan, it’s been the same yet so different.

The both of you still have this little tradition of movie nights, whereas now the date is always changing to fit into chan’s tight schedule. You both still go on the trips with the kids before every comeback, just not every single one. You still visit chan in his studio even at the weirdest times, just not as often. Now as you sit on your bed in your shared bedroom scrolling through your photos as the year is ending, you start to realise just how far you’ve grown apart. From the constant rise of popularity of the group to the sudden changes of chan’s schedule, the time spent together has lessened and lessened. Turning to your right, you realise that his spot on the bed has grown cold. As you try to think, when was the last time he was home with you? When was the last time you shared a face to face moment, a meal, a date, even just a simple talk apart from good mornings,simply greeting or a few texts throughout the entire day. A ache started to form in your heart.

Just as you got lost in thought wondering when it started to go downhill, the long forgotten sound of his keys jingling and the door unlocking snapped you out of it. As you stood up to go greet chan, your eyes caught something shiny to your left. Oh, our matching bracelets. Had I taken it off? As u reached to grab it, you looked at the clock. 03:38. Is it that late already? Huh. As you start making your way out of your room, you hear the voice of the man you loved with your whole heart. “Babe, I’m ho-“ You hear him stop halfway. Knowing him, he probably suddenly realised the time and stopped thinking you were asleep.

As you hear him shuffling around, you step out of the corridor to say hi. But as you look at the man in front of you, the words got stuck in your throat. The only thing u managed was a gasp. Chan’s head snapped up at the noise, eyes wide as he looked at you. “Babe? Why are you still awake? It’s so late.”

But you can’t talk, you’re just stuck in place looking at the man in front of you. “Babe, you ok? Why are you looking at me like you’ve seen a ghost or something.” He chuckled softly, hands reaching up to rub behind his neck. You were in shock, too stunned to even reply.

You slowly make you way to him, “Babe you’re scaring me. Are you ok? I missed y-“ You stopped him halfway through his sentence as you cupped his face, your eyes roaming across his features, taking him in. You bring your hands down to rest on his shoulder. They’ve become so much wider than you remembered. “You, you’ve changed.” You start softly, looking back into his eyes again. For a fleeing second you couldn’t recognise him. His eye bags have grown deeper, exhaustion all over his face, his shoulders have gotten so much wider, he has gotten so much bigger. Has his hair grown longer too? As you looked at his curls, you slowly run your fingers through his hair. He let out a sigh. As he looked down at you, “Works been hectic lately, from the tour to the recent comeback. I guess I just didn’t rest a lot.” He said softly. You looked him in the eyes as you feel your tears starting to brew. No, stay strong. You’re finally seeing him after, after. How long? This is not the time to cry. You told yourself. “No I meant. You changed, physically. I almost didn’t recognise you for a second.” A silent message passed between the two of you, I haven’t seen you in so long that I couldn’t even recognise you. He stood there frozen, something flashed through his eyes. “I-l’m sorry. I guess I was just too caught up with work I just-“ “No I get it, it’s fine. I’m just glad you’re home again.” You spoke up, smiling at him weakly. His eyes were sad mixed with confusion. “Again? Baby you’re being silly. I was home just a few da-“ He froze. You slowly moved back, letting out a sad chuckle. “You can’t remember? Maybe you could use some rest. But seriously Chan it’s fine, you’ve been busy. I get it. I’m used to the bed being cold anyways.” He flinched, looking up at you. But before he could say anything, you started, “Want something to eat? Knowing you, you probably skipped meals again.” You chuckled, or at least, a sound somewhere along those lines.

You started to move to the kitchen to cook him something to eat, but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into an embrace. He slowly patted your hair hesitantly. “Enlightened me when was the last time I was home, please. Or the last time we had a date, a meal?” His voice slowly getting smaller. “Please, just. Anything.” He cupped your face as he looked deep into your eyes, searching for something. You wanted to say something, but the only time you remembered actually having a good look at him or even having a proper conversation was maybe 2 months ago on his birthday. You stood there, trying to reassure him with something recent. But you couldn’t bring yourself to tell a lie you know fully well is far from the truth. You could see his face flashed with hurt, tears starting to form on his waterline. Your heart cracked. You loved this man far more than you could have ever imagined loving someone. And yet somehow, you’ve grown accustomed to being far away from him. But you still smiled at him, leaning up to give him a peck. “It’s fine. Just let it go, it’s no big deal. What do you want to eat. Eggs? Ramen?” You slowly slipped out from his embrace and quickly turning around before you got an answer. You can’t let your mask crack when he is already so tired. He doesn’t need another thing to worry about.

You know he doesn’t mean to stay away. His job meant everything to him. The kids, STAYs, you will never know what is like to carry that big of a burden and expectations on your shoulders all the time. So you just let him do his thing, settling on a simple video call or texting throughout the day. Because seeing his hard work pay off, his smile while performing, receiving awards, breaking records meant everything to you. Seeing him in his nature made you so proud of him, even if it meant sacrificing some of your time spent together for the sake of it. You quickly wiped your tears away and started fixing up some ramen for him.

-Time skip-

“Hey, come eat when it’s still hot” You call out to chan. As you dish up the ramen. “Chan? Come eat” You called out again, but you didn’t hear anything. So you put the ramen on the table and walked over to the living room to look for him. When you turned the corner and saw his figure on the sofa you tried calling him again. But stopped midway as your registered how he was. He was sitting on the sofa with his elbows on his knees and his head buried in his hands.

“Hey hey are you ok? Do you want to sleep instead? I can-“ He shook his head, “no i-it’s fine, I’ll go eat.” His voice soft, but he couldn’t hide the slight rasps and sadness in his voice. “Hey, talk to me? Is something wrong? Has work been too stressful? Or are the kids being too much to handle again” You ask, trying to skip over the obvious elephant in the room, as you move to kneel in front of him, taking his hands away from digging into his eyes and into your hands. “You know I’m here when you need me, and you can tell me anything. So what’s going on big guy.”

He couldn’t bring himself to look at you and sobbed when he heard the pet name. “I’m so s-sorry y/n. I-l-l feel like I’ve let you down. You’re always there for me when I need you and you’re always just a call away. But l-l can’t even be home with you. I’m not there to hold you when you sleep, I’m not there to listen to your problems, I’m not even here to listen to you talk about your day. I-I’m here so little to the point you don’t even recognise me anymore. How is that ok?” As he talked, his voice got louder until he was borderline shouting.

You flinched at the sudden outburst. He looked up at you, tears rolling down his face, red linings his eyes. He whispered, “how is that ok?” You gave a sad smile and gripped his hand tightly. “Chan, remember when I said I’d be there for you, no matter how you are, where you are, or who you’ve become?” He gave a weak nod. You continued, “As long as you’re mine and I’m yours. Nothing is going to change that. And I’m never letting you go, ever. I knew what I was getting into when I decided to date you, I knew how hectic your schedules can get, and I knew how busy you are. But every single time I come back to you. Because I love you, I love you so much it hurts. I love you so much to the point where I can’t even imagine what life would be without you. I love you so much that words nor actions can express what I feel for you. And I love you so much that seeing you happy and doing what you love and do best makes me happy too, even if I’m cheering from far away. Every couple has their own ups and downs, we just have to make it through together.”

You take his face into your hands as you look him deep in the eyes. To try and convey your love and reassurance. “Chan, I say it’s ok because I’ll never understand the stress and burden you have, or how you are constantly being pressured under piles and piles of deadlines, expectations and work. I say it’s ok because you are doing what you love. I say it’s ok because I know no matter what you’d drop everything and anything in a heartbeat if I ever needed you, and that is enough for me. I can’t be the one who becomes an obstacle in between you and your love, your passion. The fact that you still take the time out of your day to text me and check in on me is more than enough. And don’t you dare tell me I’m settling for too little, I knew what I got myself into when I fell for you, when I chose to date you. You being you is enough. Yes, I haven’t seen you in god knows how long to the point I ALMOST couldn’t recognise you. But I know you’re doing what you can, and that is why this is ok. Yes, I’m sad that I don’t remember when the last time we had a date was, when was the last time I slept in your arms. But right now, having you here with me. This is more than enough, and that’s all I ask for right now. Is to spend the little time you have together.” You pour your heart out and lay it bare in front of the man who means everything to you. You slowly wipe his tears off his face while he just stares at you. You can see in his eyes the love and affection he has for you. “Fuck y/n, what did I even do to deserve you. I’m never home, I’m never here with you. And yet you are still here with me. Why don’t you just-“ “Shh, don’t talk about nonsense. I told you, I’m never ever leaving you. Ever. And that’s final.” You stand up, bring him along with you. “But Chan, I need you to promise me something. Just one tiny thing.” He sniffs and nods. “I know your schedule is hectic, but I just want you to try. To try to be home more often, at least once a week. And to take care of yourself, stop staying up so late and skipping meals. It’s not healthy.” You say with a smile on your face as you slide your arms around his neck. “Can you do that?” He takes a breath and pulls you impossibly closer to him. “I swear on everything I’ll try, I’ll try to be better for you. I’ll come home more often and earlier. I’ll take you out on dates and do things you love with you too. To make up for lost times, yeah? I’m sorry y/n, I didn’t even realise how I’ve been neglecting you. I was too caught up on improving and getting more opportunities for the kids I completely neglected the one person I love and care for the most. I really am sorry.” He looks down at you with so much love and determination in his eyes that makes everything around you start to blur, as if everything disappeared on earth except the two of you.

But suddenly you remembered something snapping you two out of your tiny bubble. “Oh shit! I left your noodles! Fuck they’re probably all soggy now. I’ll go make a new one for you, I’ll just eat it.” As you turned to run into the kitchen. You hear chan’s lighthearted and whiny laugh. “It’s fine! You’re too good for me l swear. I’ll just eat it, it shouldn’t be that bad. I can’t have you eat that while I enjoy something else.” As he runs into the kitchen to stop you from cooking something else again. “Fuck, I love you so much. How did I even get you.” Chan whispers, and starts laughing at you trying to protest on making him a new one. “Let go of m-! Christopher stop tickling m- CHRISTOPHER!” “You look so cute when you laugh. Hey! Comeback! Im not done with you!”

As laughter fills the once quiet and empty apartment. Everything seems to be falling into place again. The love and warmth slowly creeps back into place around this little apartment. Unbeknownst to the both of you, this night was just the start of a new chapter that the both of you will be exploring together. And a step closer to something great that is to come.

-End-

______________

Heyy, I hope you liked reading this. If you want to give any feedback, please do!

Have a great day and I hope 2025 treats you well<3

Happy (almost) 2025

-Lyn

[omega-e123]

in sprit of my love for our edgy hedgehog here is some headcannons i have for shadow (there all kinda random ones from different things)

sepration anxiety headcannons

-if you have a tendencey to cling to him, and always want to be at his side from your anxiety. Shadow after time will instinctively start to either carry you, or hold your hand as he leaves a room to keep you from feeling alone.

-when hes at work shadow will check on you throughout the day, sending your short but sweet texts or chaos controling home to see you on his lunch breaks. So you both can eat together (even though he doesnt need to) and he can be sure your alright.

-shadow will also before he goes to work leave you a list of things to do to occupy you to keep your anxiety at bay. It could be chores, craft projects or a book of his he enjoyed and would like you to read so he can share it with you.

-shadow will encourage you to see a therapist to help you with your anxiety, however he wont force you into it, but if you do go expect to be showered in kisses as a reward for getting through it.

Period headcannons:-

-when your on your sharkweek shadow becomes more gentle than usual, trying his best to work with your current state.

-shadow typically is against eating a lot of junk food, but keeps a basket full of your favorite sweets for your sharkweek. Building on it throughout the month and handing it to you once it hits with a kiss.

-shadow is like your personal heating pad when your on the week. Using his chaos energy to help soothe the pain the best he can, as he cuddles you protecting you from the world.

-shadow doesnt let you do much work when your on your period, worried the extra strain on your body will cause you to feel worse. So when he has to get a few things done, like dinner or prehaps g.u.n papers he brought back from work so he could take care of you. He will wrap you up in a heated blanket, and a weighted one to keep you comfortable, while he gently orders like a father with a small child for you to stay on the couch in the little blanket burrito he left you in, and stands by it even though you try to help him.

Cuddle headcannons:-

-shadow typically prefers to be the big spoon when cuddling, wanting to be the one who holds you so he can feel like hes protecting you as you both hide away from the world.

-shadow typically unless its bedtime, or hes try to get you to nap, prefers for you both to cuddle without a blanket, due to it makes him a bit to hot because of his fur.

-however in the winter this hedgey boy is stealing your blankets when you cuddle, staying to stay warm as his body against his will trys to get him to hybernate.

-shadow when you cuddle always make sure your face is no where near where his quills could accidently hurt you, not wanting to cause you any pain ever.

Injurys:-

-when it comes to any injury you might possess shadow is like your own personal nurse due to his experaince from the ark, and first aid training from g.u.n.

-he knows almost every basic and complicated medical procdure in the book, how to stitch wounds, the process of treating extensive burns and more.

-Shadow can help you with most injurys, explaining the process as he goes making sure there are no suprises in the process. Even if your at the doctor and they explain you need a certain a treatment or medicial procdure, shadow will explain it to you gently helping the process go by smoother.

-if your terrified of needles shadow will kiss your head, while holding and smoothing out your hands as the doctor gives you the shot or if he brought you in for stitches. Shadow also will hold you gently in a way to keep you still so you dont accidently kick the doctor and make the process worse.

-when it comes to any post op care, shadow is very strict on being sure the site of injury is being taken care of. Setting a schedule of dressing changes, and making sure you get your bed rest.

Some other random headcannons:-

-shadow likes to meal prep your meals for when hes at work for the week. So he doesnt have to worry about you not having a good meal while hes gone. He even has the different containers labeled for each day and loves to cook with you.

-shadow also like to write you notes before he heads to work, due to hes gone before you even wake up most days and he wants you to wake up to something that could make you smile.

-shadow will make you popcorn, but then for himself pour a bowl of coffee beans and eat them as if they are popcorn, this is what prehaps will start your own obession with the beans causing you both to eat them together.

-shadow loves to read, and before bed at night shadow like to sit and read to you whatever book he is reading currently. Excited to share it, and smiles as he puts you to sleep as he reads aloud.

Ooog. (I’m going to do my best to type on my phone while I have so many bandaids on my fingies)

I eat all of these head canons up!! I wanted to add a bit of commentary and few to the list which is why it took so long for me to answer!

With the readers separation anxiety coupled with Shadow’s fear of losing you. You guys are like two peas in a pod.

Shadow is never short on giving you validation and reassurance. He’ll always return to your side, no matter how far apart you two may be.

Basing off SxSh, he’s seems like the type to much more open to communicating with you. Trying to understand where you’re coming from as well as plans to make things work between you two.

He’s an action problem solver guy, so when presented with your woes, Shadow would ask you, “Solution or Support?” before diving straight in.

I completely agree on the sending texts. “Busy. Cant talk. Thinking of you ❤️” , “Received. Talk to you ASAP.”

Little texts to let you know he isn’t ignoring you.

Probably not the biggest fan of sharing his location; however, will turn on his location if you do the same. Of course he can’t always have it on due to being on missions, but Shadow will give you a heads up when he remembers so you’re not left wondering what happened.

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ

The thought of him being a heating pad is so nice, since you can actually toast yourself with them. Erythema ab igne is what it’s called, caused by long term exposure to heat. Shadow would be so careful and mindful of your body.

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ

Because he is used to being by Maria’s side during her bad flare ups, Shadow probably still has the habit of cuddling on top of you.

Picture this: you’re lying on your back and Shadow crawls up and dumps his entire weight on top of your chest. His body covering yours like a weighted blanket.

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ

I’m just thinking about mixing the popcorn and the coffee beans together— so if you’re not paying attention you might get a crunch of Shadow’s snack.

Honestly, probably doesn’t taste too bad, as odd of a combination that is.

[tales-of-wocdes]

Community announcement

Hello all!

This is a new type of post! No need to worry, it is nothing bad. I simply realized something... There is a lot of people here, and that offers up something that was not possible before! Since, I am fairly certain that the community contains people with talents that I do not posses :D

Namely, I am asking for help with something I have been playing around with! Or perhaps it is a community contest? I fear I am not offering any real reward for this at the moment, aside from promising to credit the person in whatever manner they wish in the demo and here on the blog. So perhaps it is me asking for help. Assuming there is any interest in this :D It's not that serious.

This is still far away, and will likely be related to C4, but I thought I should ask early enough. Still, I will put details below the line to avoid spoilers for those who are not curious what this is about.

--------------------

Ok, I have an idea for a lullaby, likely the first lullaby MC ever remembers hearing. This is likely for C4, so it will be a long while.

I have an idea for it, and an inspiration.

Idea: The lullaby is a legend about the so called Eternal Wanderer, basically the Wocdes version of the Sandman. Expect he does not throw sand. Instead he walks the earth, pulling his flying ship, made of magic and dreams, after him at nighttime. The ship travels through the skies after him, bringing the children good dreams wherever he goes.

The inspiration: The idea of the wanderer pulling a flying ship is directly from this music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--tFFz44zvc

Honestly, I prefer the live version for the music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciLVx51IZjM

But that one does not have the old man pulling the boat. The rest of the idea is as described above and has nothing to do with the song :D

The problem: I can barely write normal text on my good days :D How am I supposed to write a song? Therefore I thought to ask for help!

You can get an idea from below from the few provided lines for what I am trying to go for.

What I have so far: I will put here a few lines I actually like from what I have so far.

I rather like this one bit:

He remembers a time from ages untold, when the stars were young and life did unfold.

Then towards the end of the song something like this:

Yet the wanderer himself, as ever remains, but a ghost in the fog, forever the same.

So I am aiming for some level of rhyming, but I want it to also make some sense, so one can be sacrificed for the other.

RULES/REQUESTS:

The premise is a lullaby and one meant to put children to sleep in a non-creepy manner! And the basic idea is as described above.

You are however free to play around with the idea of the "Eternal Wanderer" as the one who brings children dreams.

In my mind, it is currently a man, but if something else works better, I am not opposed. Or any other changes, but it should be a lullaby :D

Since someone will surely ask: I would say, max 400 (ish) words at most, including any repetition like chorus. Can be considerably shorter.

Please if you are interested, do not copy the song from anywhere, and do not get me into trouble.

If interested, please use the email for ideas/submissions: talesofwocdes@gmail.com

Questions can be asked in the tumblr asks so that everyone can see them :D

Schedule: Not set in stone, let's say I will start looking into this towards the end of May!

Let me know if people are interested in this sort of stuff :D

[oimitocat]

TSWCP — CHAP 3

lee minho x m!reader

chapter summary; you just can’t live with the silence. you can’t bear it. this time, you prove minho you really will risk it all for him. will he take it or leave you with your heart bleeding in your hands?

content warning; subtle internalized homophobia + subtle insecurity + tension + constant change of pov (mainly minho’s) + crying + makeout session

content genre; idol au + actor au + fluff + angst + 9th member! reader

word count — 6.4k | m.list | a/n; this sucks btw ;(

it’s cold. frozen and heavy. 

that’s how you could describe your heart after what had happened days ago. your mind? static. looking for signal. waiting on connection. 

concert tours are coming up. your management had managed to sort something out with the executive directors of the drama so that once you come back from tour with the group, shooting wouldn’t be delayed or a hassle. the thought of it is dreadful. you still have to pull off a few conferences and amidst your tour dates some photo shootings have been crushed into your schedule. 

as much as it pisses you off, it also can’t be helped. 

“what’s your favorite scene?” an interviewer asks. 

you blink, having zoned out. gayoung’s soft touch on your knee brings you back to your current position. 

“me personally,” gayoung says with her fluent english. “i really loved the scene where i had to ride a horse.”

you stare at her before smiling. the other actor, another close friend of yours on set is minwoo, he laughs. 

“i had to help her five times to climb on that thing because she kept slipping.”

“ah, the cons of being a gnome,” you tease automatically.

everyone busts laughing while gayoung gives you an offended expression. she starts an argument, you feed it. 

minho clutches his phone as he watches the interaction from his screen. the video had been posted not so long ago now. he can’t help it, seeing you from a screen and aching. why had he been so stupid? kissing you? confessing? 

you two could never be as perfect as you and gayoung are. your chemistry is absolutely beautiful. it’s so natural. how could he ever compare to something like that. much less now? he ruined what he had with you. was a kiss really worth it? absolutely not. not after the rift he created with you became unmendable. 

“y/n, since the drama is based on a book, it has been said that the first few episodes on the next season you’ll have to portray heartbreak, betrayal and desperation. will that be hard for you?”

he watches how you shake your head immediately, that joyful expression you had dropped “i have to display a raw emotion, most of the time we as actors have to study how to display something we’ve never experienced but in this case, i’ve actually experienced heartbreak and desperation.”

minho’s eyes widened a bit. are you insane? how could you say that with your girlfriend right next to you? 

“could you maybe give us some insight on that?”

“well,” you look up at the ceiling for a moment. then you look back at the screen but for some reason it feels like you’re looking at him. as if you knew he was watching. “as an idol and actor you need to let go of many things you end up carrying, i think everyone does and everyone has someone to seek out and trust enough to simply rant and be yourself with. yet, things kind of change when you grow in the industry… maybe the fans don’t know this about me but i cherish those who i’m close with and will always find a way to keep our bonds, despite how i seem like i’ll let people come and go- it’s nothing like that. filming this drama took a lot out of me…”

“it not only took away my sleep but it took something else away. i loved shooting it, but if i had to do everything all over again…” you pause, sighing, “i think i would… but i’d change a lot of things and work hard not just to keep my career going but to keep those around me too. yeah, maybe we can’t stop people from leaving when they decided they will no matter what but it doesn’t change how horrible that feeling is.’

“you have gayoung though, as a couple i’m sure you share your burdens with her now, right?”

bitterness flashes across your features for a moment. no one has caught that, no one will. only minho.

because as much as it hurts… he’s the only one that knows you more than you know yourself. 

“of couse,” you smile. bitter. “just shows that when someone won’t be there for you, someone else will.” you pause, “and be better.”

ouch. minho turns off his phone, he covers his face into his hands and breathes wetly. he really is the worst, isn’t he?

fans have started to notice the distance between the two of you. bubble messages flood in every now and then saying they hope you and he are doing okay. he sees the comments questioning the silence that has been built between you two. the members know. 

well, they don’t know you two had kissed or that he is inevitably in love with you. 

but they know you two are not in good terms. 

chan had questioned you about it and when you didn’t give him a believable answer he had seeked minho out. all minho said was — “y/n is just too busy to keep what we have, i made sure he focuses on his career.” which in turns absolutely outed the fact minho caused all of this. the look of disappointment chan gave him is the same one he gives himself after crying and looking in the mirror.

even crying feels illegal. 

the worst part is you and jisung share the dorm with him. he hears jisung question you about your distance. he hears you talk to people— to gayoung — over the phone. he bumps into you on the way to the laundry, to the bathroom, in the kitchen. 

he works with you.

he lives with you.

he misses you. 

yet, you’re not his to seek out anymore. you’re his coworker now. 

nothing more… 

“where’s y/n? we’re about to board the plane,” jeongin says with a pout. 

minho unconsciously looks around, equally wondering where you are. they had driven to the airport at around 10 and you weren’t in the dorms. through check ins, you still hadn’t popped up. 

later, however, the video of you running through the airport with your bodyguard and manager blows up. minho finds that out in the van after landing in tokyo. he had wondered why you were so disheveled when you entered the plane. 

“we have four concerts here in japan,” seungmin mumbles to himself, “we have one day to roam around, one morning left and then we’re off to the states.”

“doesn’t y/n hyung have a private conference in the states?” jisung asks.

“what?” minho frowns.

chan sighs, “he really needs to take a break. this whole year is going to be packed.” he rests his head back on the seat, “he barely managed to pull off the concerts in korea.”

“well we do have a few free days in between our concerts,” seungmin offers, “he’ll have some sort of rest.”

minho swallows. are you really that busy? 

he still doesn’t get to see much of you. he’s had to hear hyunjin recap how you have 2 interviews a day before flying with them to japan. how you had to pull an all nighter to review a script for a morning commercial schedule. it’s crazy, he thinks. how are you alive. 

when all of you come to the venue to rehearse, he sees you thrudge in after chan, who seemingly had to drag you here. your hair is everywhere, your face puffy from sleep, your large hoodie and baggy joggers make you look small. minho forces himself to look away, his heart clenching at your adorable sight. 

practice goes alright, minho thinks. sound check goes well, jisung and changbin goofed off with the autotune. they had tried to pull you into their fun scheme but minho noticed how you grimly looked at them. it didn’t change how you still went along with it, always willing to entertain the guys. they’re your family just as much as they’re his. still, everyone is tense around you two.

because they know.

they know their favorite hyungs are in weird terms. they don’t ask, they don’t have to. it’s visibly written in the air. 

“minho can you go check on y/n,” chan asks him the morning of the official concert. 

everyone went through the same checks and passed. everything is ready. minho hadn’t really seen you today regardless, despite dancing and singing beside you. he truly does not recall you being around other than on stage, not even during lunch break. 

“why me?” he asks without thinking, it even comes out bitterly. 

chan stares at him for a moment. no one is around, just him and minho. “are you really going to drag this out?” he asks, tone evidently showing how angry he is, “everyone else is checking up on him except you. what are you two doing?”

minho looks away, fists clenching at his sides. “we’re just… not in a good spot-“

“and how long will that last? huh? y/n isn’t prideful like you are, so who is dragging it out?”

that was like a slap in the face. 

“minho, don’t shut me out.”

yet minho closed the door and never dared get near it. you never begged again. verbally. he took notice of your sad eyes after the fight. he felt your presence begging to call for him. yet you didn’t. because you knew the door that was slammed in your face would never open again. 

“i’ll check up on him before we get on stage,” he says softly. 

chan sighs, “i’ll take it.”

backstage, as he’s getting in his outfit, he sees you thrudge around. on your phone. clearly you’re talking to gayoung. he sees you smile for a second before walking out. he can’t help but follow you out discreetly. you step behind a wall, he stays around the corner. 

“i’m screwed,” you whisper. “so fucking screwed, you have no idea.”

minho steps back. well you’re alive and that’s all that matters. why would he check up on you? you don’t need him. you have the guys. you have gayoung. that’s clearly who you’re talking to.

he doesn’t need to overstep. your life isn’t something he’s involved in. 

“minho! y/n!” 

minho whips his head around, his heart pounding. does hyunjin have to be so fucking loud!? outing him like this!? he should leave before you realize he was right behind you- he makes the mistake of turning around again and coming face to face with you. 

he’s caught. 

he swallows and stares up at you. your dark eyes boring into him. you’re all ready to get on stage. he couldn’t even speak if he wanted to. there’s nothing to say. 

the way you walk past him makes his heart drop. 

the act was unfamiliar until 2 months ago. that’s how long he’s been dragging it out. that’s how long it’s been when he hurt your feelings and smashed his along. it felt like so little time but it felt like an eternity ago.

an eternity that is burned into his skull and haunts him. 

not even the roar of the fans when they come on stage silences the thousands of thoughts in his head. 

he’s on the stage feeling like a puppet. except his strings tangle with yours. the amount of times you bumped into him from stumbling were too many to count. he hates it. 

and he hates how much he worries. 

above all, he hates that he can’t near you. 

and it’s his fault. 

it’s probably the fourth concert day, the last concert in japan. they’ll be here for a day or so before flying back to korea. 

your chest feels tight. 

you get nauseous a lot. you can’t really stomach much. at most a soup you get at the hotel you’re all staying at but even that leaves you with an upset stomach. 

you had filmed a commercial in japan, gayoung had been flown out here. it frustrated you, didn’t matter where you went, gayoung had to be involved somehow. the girl isn’t at fault, it’s the company, you know that. 

“oppa are you sure you’re okay?” she asks.

you raise your head and look at your phone. the video call started thirty minutes ago when she finally landed and finished going through security. you don’t hate her, she’s a good friend. you haven’t kissed her, both of you strictly left that for the scenes only. you hug her, you cuddle her, you carry her but she’s not who you love. maybe as a friend. not as a lover. 

“you look like shit ever since we finished the drama, i didn’t want to point it out,” she says, there’s a bit of a teasing tone but she’s also dead serious. 

“a pretty girl like you shouldn’t curse,” you say with a sigh.

she stares at you before starting a string pf curses. you chuckle softly, shaking your head. you groan, your migraine returning. she immediately pauses. 

“oppa, i’m worried for you. joking aside, you really do look like shit.”

you grunt, looking around the room, “i think i’ll feel better when i’m back in korea…”

she puts the phone close to her face, as if she could see you more clearly that way. “i hope so or we’ll have to shoot a ‘taking care of my boyfriend’ blog.”

“ugh no,” you whine.

she laughs, “just kidding, the company is going to make me show my concern though if something happens.”

you give her a face, “nothing is gonna happen gayoung, i’m fine. just not a hundred percent.”

“well as long as you get back home safely,” she says softly, “i care for you y/n.”

all formality is out the window. it always has been with her, you see her as a little sibling from how long you two have worked together for. almost a whole year and a half. you had known her before the drama but contact wasn’t fully established until then. 

“i have to get going to the venue,” you finalize, dread expressed on your features.

“okay~,” she sing songs as she gets inside her van, “don’t push yourself, okay? see ya!”

“bye,” you throw a peace sign and she quickly mimics you before hanging up. 

you drop your phone on your bed before scrubbing your face with your hands. sometimes you’re thankful that you’re dating a friend instead of someone you don’t know, you’ve heard companies do that so this isn’t bad. yet, it isn’t good either. 

you’ve been like a zombie these last few weeks. taking all sorts of pills and gummies that would give you energy and help you get through concerts with a smile. you know the guys are worried about you, but you’re not the only one feeling overworked. still, you’re the one with the worst of it. 

“let’s put on our best show,” chan says as he pats everyone’s backs. he pauses when he comes to you, “let me know if you need a break-“

“hyung, seriously,” you grimace. “you make me feel like i don’t belong sometimes.”

he frowns, realizing he overstepped. “shit, no. y/n that’s not what i meant- i just- you know that i know.”

you stare at him, almost mortified. “uh-“

“please get to the stage quickly!” a staff member says. 

chan gives you a once over before heading out, you follow suit. your migraine hasn’t stopped. the roaring of the fans feels like a hammer being pounded on your skull from the inside. you genuinely contemplate taking up chan’s offer, especially when you zone out and step on minho’s shoe accidentally. 

“my bad,” you say automatically, stepping away like you had been burned.

and maybe you were, with the way he looks at you annoyingly. when did you feel so left out like this? 

you execute the choreography perfectly, smiling at hyunjin whenever he comes across you on a part. fans fawn over each and every one of you. yet, when your part comes during the bridge, you stop mid verse when something oozes out of your nose onto your upper lip. immediately, you look away from the camera and wipe it with your sleeve. the worst part is minho was behind you for the formation, his brows furrowed when you immediately stumbled when walking to the next formation. 

“are you bleeding?” jisung asks ushered as jeongin sings. 

you walk past all of them, jogging to the backstage. the bleeding won’t stop, normally you can just wipe it away and it’s unnoticeable but you knew this isn’t as easy. you’re hyper aware of your physical status. 

“oh, here let me,” a staff member says as they guide you to a chair. 

the fans are worried, chan clarifying that you’ll be fine makes it worse. how weak could you be?

“the bleeding stopped,” you say as you look at the clean tissue you pull away from your nose. 

“ah, are you sure you want to go-“

“thank you for your care, if anything comes up i’ll let you know,” you bow low before heading back out after the second song. 

there’s a moment where the members speak and chat, you anxiously return to the stage as jisung speaks to stay. you could stand beside anyone, they’re all dear to you and have been with you during tough times. yet, you unconsciously went to minho’s side, awkwardly standing there when you realize you shouldn’t have chosen him. 

even now, does he really give you comfort? why are you lying to yourself like this? 

“oh! hyung! are you okay?” hyunjin asks out loud on the mic. 

you swallow before looking down at your mic, “minho hit me with his mic when i went to formation.”

what. 

minho spins and looks at you. you clearly lost your mind. 

“i’m good though hyung, no need to apologize.”

everyone on stage is looking at you like you really have lost it. minho’s eyes are like saucers. he hesitates before bringing his mic up to speak, looking away and nervously fidgeting with his inear. 

“uh, my mistake, i didn’t realize you were that close when we turned.”

“hyung doesn’t realize his strength either,” hyunjin jokes nervously. 

there’s no way to verify or deny that fact. in the formation you and minho are pretty hidden, so in the end, it’s a possibility no matter how slim. 

“the fuck was that,” minho grits when all of you are backstage for an outfit change.

“hey, don’t fight,” changbin huffs. 

you stand there stiffly, changbin between the two of you. everyone has run off, not wanting to get caught up in it. chan comes up to you two. minho glares at you before stepping back. 

“i didn’t mean to hurt you,” he says, like he really did hurt you on the stage.

“but you did.” you say automatically. 

“hey, hey, what matters is that you’re okay,” chan says, believing the words that came out of your mouths. 

neither chan or changbin know that minho’s apology and your accusations are not from what happened minutes ago, but from what happened two months ago. you look away, turning to change. 

now, things are worse. the anger you had from what minho did dwindled down into your suppressed sadness. you meant everything you said- you’d leave anything and everything to keep him. yet, why didn’t he want you? 

you cover your face before your stylist fixes your makeup, you ask for a few moments and she goes on standby. your head is killing you, you want to cry from frustration, you absolutely want minho. 

he always knew how to make you feel better. 

how come the last time you fought him he kissed you? isn’t he hurting too? why is this so difficult? 

by the time you’re back on stage with the other members, you can’t really stay focused. you trail behind anyone and everyone down the stage when some of the songs are free reign across the stage. you stick to jisung, the second closest member to you… well, maybe the first one now that minho wants nothing to do with you. 

you watch him across the stage. 

during the song there’s a beat pause. everyone looks at each other playfully, but minho’s eyes latch onto your gaze. 

you smile at him, painful but yearning. 

he at least has the decency to wave back. 

and the flame of hope ignites in your heart again. 

your life feels suffocating. 

you can’t remember how many times you’ve been seen only as gayoung’s boyfriend. the idol with an outed relationship that bloomed from a drama. you get back to korea. you fly out for concerts. you fly out for interviews. 

it’s constant movement. 

everyone found out your nosebleeds come from stress and your lack of sleep. chan knows the most of it, he does lack sleep too. still, your life is busy even with not scenes to shoot. 

minho isn’t handling that well. he hasn’t exactly stepped up to confront you about the situation between the two of you. nor has he approached you on terms outside of fan service. it’s not even as often as before, it’s crumbs of what the two of you used to do. ever since you started a relationship there’s constant war between fans when a member is too touchy with you. 

you’re not an object, you don’t belong to gayoung. if only they knew the relationship was strictly a job on top of all your jobs. you were called in for modeling, for drink commercials, a cafe wanted to have a theme with the drama and you and gayoung had to sponsor their promotions for a week. the drinks were okay. 

the food was okay.

nothing could beat minho’s cooking. sadly, you don’t think you’ll ever get the chance to eat it ever again. you and minho’s situation hasn’t gotten better nor worse. it’s just.. still. 

you often stare at your ceiling at night when you have the luxury to be home early to rest. it’s not often but when you do… your mind drifts. 

to how soft minho’s lips are. to the hunger you two had demonstrated. the way his soft breathes ignited a fire in your stomach. he took that chance and built a wall between the two of you. 

“yah,” a voice calls out.

you jump, sitting up and whipping around to face your door. 

“i made dinner.” 

you look at the door as if minho opened it and stared at you. he’s behind the wooden pallet. he’s talking to you. your body twitches before you stiffen. 

no.

you can’t. 

you’ve waited all these months for this but you just can’t. something won’t let you. is it your self restraint? you don’t want to fight again. if you tried to bring up the topic he’d run away. he’ll somehow blame you. he’ll do everything possible to keep you at a miles distance. 

he’s just being a coworker. 

he’s obligated to show interest and care. 

“i know you’re awake,” minho says.

is his voice trembling? 

“i’m good.” you say softly, staring at the bottom of the door to see his shadow. it’s loud enough for him to hear. 

if you accepted, two things could happen. you argue and make things worse. or you lose all control and take the riskiest bet of them all. 

neither is good. 

you don’t particularly care for your fame. you have enough in your bank to survive if you get fired or blacklisted. you have backup plans. yet, you’re not ready for it yet. you’re just waiting on minho to accept that he’s the one at fault, even if it’s indirectly.

when that will happen? you don’t know. maybe him wanting to eat a cooked meal was it. yet, your instincts tell you not now. 

so you lay back down, hearing minho huff and stomp away. 

he definitely thinks you hate him. you love him, but you want him to feel a little sting. it’s nothing compared to the scalding he gave you months ago, but giving him a little taste of his medicine won’t hurt.

at least you don’t hope so. 

he has to reach out the right way. 

and… you close your eyes and toss and turns…. and if he doesn’t do it before you finally decide, then you’ll have no choice to make the move. 

just a little longer…

you hope your heart handles it. 

he doesn’t near you. you’re used to it now, despite how much it hurts you. 

it’s the end of the year and all of you are preparing for the award shows. you have many to attend— mma , mama, the baeksang arts awards. probably some more. 

the biggest is mama. it’s one of the ones at the end of the year. the acting award is in may, or so you heard. thing is you’re a nominee and they’ll announce that further on, right now your main focus is the award shows of the month of december. it’s a stressful time, but not as stressful as when you were fresh of the drama. 

since last month, you’ve had more time to breathe. to sleep too. 

you do have the obligation to keep going on dates with gayoung. instead of being home alone with minho when jisung is stuck in the studio you choose to hang out with her. unknown to you- that hurts minho. well, maybe you do know. 

“sound check done, thank you!” 

all of you bow. 

“hyung!” changbin runs to you, “i’m hungry!”

“yeah! me too!” seungmin yells. 

you smile, adoring how cute changbin looks as he clings to your side. “and what do you want to eat? we have to start getting ready for our performance tonight.”

“crab!” changbin pouts. 

“i want something else,” hyunjin argues. 

you laugh, “just order what you want… you know where my card is…” everyone screams happily, “and remember to watch your intake, i don’t need anyone with an upset stomach during or after performance. also!” you point at them, “just buy food, i don’t want to recieve a bill of some video game purchase.” you eye felix who whistles.

minho simply watches you from afar. these past few months weren’t easy. still, he can’t bring himself to face you yet. why would he? your life is as perfect as it gets— you have a successful acting and idol career. you have a beautiful girlfriend. you have millions of doting fans. what would he speak to you for? his feelings? those are worth nothing for you, it’s destroy your image. 

assuming you really did mean what you said all those months ago, what benefit would you get? he can’t do that to you. he can’t bear to think that you’d leave everything you worked so hard to build just for him… if he had ever said yes. 

but he knows better. 

and he knows his spot is exactly where he’s in- watching you from afar. seeing you work as an idol beside him. 

“alright guys, let’s go show them what we’re made of,” chan says with a whoop. 

minho simply won’t intervene. 

despite how much rest you’ve had compared to a few months back, you still don’t feel your best. still, your performance is full of energy and charisma. the whole performance is full of crazy moves and entrances. the acts hyunjin and you pulled were the highlights of the whole stage. 

by the second act, your place was to do a flip between two dancers, so that they would soon do a dance break with you. you’d have to wait for a few moments until felix finishes his line and everyone files to the side for you to do your part. 

you’ve rehearsed this plenty of times, you know when to enter and when to wait. you know how many steps to take and when to turn. when to breathe and when to blink.

yet, you take the wrong step and fall six feet off the platform stage. bodyguards run to you as you groan, your trembling arms helping you push yourself off the ground. jeongin’s worried eyes are on you, he’s hidden from the amount of dancers before him. 

“are you okay!?” a staff asks as they help you get to your feet. 

you had fallen on your hands and knees. the impact was rough but the adrenaline makes it feel like you’re fine. your hand hurts bad though, or is it your wrist? you just stare down at your shaking hands, scratched and getting red. you wobble, your knees almost giving out. you need to get back on stage-

the dance break starts. 

“help me get up!” you yell, panting. 

“if you’re injured we have to-“

“you have to walk all the way around-“

“y/n-ssi you need to get checked-“

everyone is talking but not moving. you growl, grabbing a bodyguard and your stare was enough for everyone to get the gist. they hunch over and hook their hands to give you leverage, your foot wobbles from weak balance as you boost yourself up with their help. clearly everyone is confused and worried, yet you crawl onto the stage and quickly get on your feet. 

the impact is starting to reveal where you’re hurt. your ankle is probably sprained, each step is killing you. your shoulder aches, your elbows sting. 

still, you run and when your backup dancer catch you on their peripheral vision, they immediately step back to sync with you when you backflip and spin to the floor in a breakdance pattern. it’s the final steps of the formation you were supposed to perform, yet it still blew everyone away and regained the attention of everyone. 

going through the rest of the choreography was killing you. it took everything in you to not wobble as you did your lines and performed with the rest of the members. 

the worst part? was that after forcing yourself to stand still for approximately one minute as the performance comes to an end for the cameras to stop rolling, you lose your balance when going down the stairs and once more, you fall from the three foot high staircase that lead to the backstage. 

“hyung!” jeongin cries out, catching everyone’s attention. 

medical staff already surround you as you lay on the floor, groaning and grunting. 

“what’s going on?” minho asks, eyes wide and his heart pounding. 

“hyung fell off the stairs!” changbin exclaims.

“he also fell off the stage,” jeongin sobs, “and he still hopped on and kept going-“

“hey, hey, let’s let them work,” chan says, gathering the kids away despite his anxiety skyrocketing. 

minho doesn’t budge at first, his glassy eyes fixated on your body as the medics put you on a stretcher when you say how much it hurts to move. he’s worried sick, you really pushed yourself that bad? he can’t wonder if you’re insane or passionate. no one really enjoys the rest of the ceremony. during the speech chan mentions how passionate they are for their dream, even mentioning how y/n pushed himself to give the best performance even when he shouldn’t have. 

back in the dorms chan texts the chat, saying you had dislocated your left shoulder and wrist. you’re bruised on your elbows and knees, the height would have fractured them but you had placed all your weight in the impact in your hands, causing one wrist to suffer more. two to three months until you’re fully recovered. 

they still have to perform. minho can’t help but cry, he knows very well the company will make you keep going through promotions and schedules no matter how hurt you are. 

and he’s nervous. how will he put aside his actions in order to care for you? you live right next to his room, how could he feign interest when you’ll be in need of assistance for a while? hyunjin was the same, so how could he not intervene? 

his biggest fear is this— what if you don’t let him? 

he’d deserve it of course. you have every right to refuse his help and care. 

it gnaws at him for the three days straight that you’re in the hospital. it was per your request to stay for a little longer. how will he face you? is now the right time? no. yes? 

he isn’t sure if he’s crying from guilt, self hatred or anxiety anymore. so when he hears your familiar footsteps inside the dorm he freezes. jisung is with chan and changbin again, coincidentally saying he’ll be home extremely late, he enters a frenzy. 

he hears your gruttal sigh as you walk inside your room, your door closes. 

well. it’s now or never. 

you either reject him all together — reject what? he doesn’t know. he has no idea what he’s going to say, no idea if he’ll ask to console you or to apologize for what happened or what. something has to be done, though, and if you never let him get close to you again then he’ll understand that it’s the consequences of his actions. 

he takes a deep breath as he heads out of his room. he swallows the knot in his throat when he stands before your door. 

“leave me alone, minho,” you say before his fist even makes contact with your door to knock. 

he stares at the door as if it was it that spoke to you that way. “y/n… i-“

“just leave me alone they way you said you would. you don’t need me so i don’t need you either.”

minho breathes shallow, “y-you don’t mean that-“

“the fuck do you want?” you groan, “what? i get hurt and now you decide to speak to me?”

your voice cracks at the end of your grievance. it breaks minho. 

“i’m sorry,” he sobs, “i shouldn’t have been selfish! i shouldn’t have hurt you like that!  shouldn’t have shut you out!”

he hiccups and takes a step back when you open the door. through blurry sight, he looks at you. you stare down at him, why are your eyes so tender? 

“but you did…”

“i just knew if i didn’t i’d have no restraint,” he sniffles, “i love you.” he whispers, looking down at the floor, “seeing you with her hurt so much. knowing you smell like her made me nauseous. knowing she was your new focus made me feel like i didn’t belong in your life anymore-“

“minho,” you grab his chin with your free hand, tilting his face up. “why does it take me getting hurt for you to speak to me again?” 

minho shakes his head, “i just can’t come between you and gayoung-“

“me and gayoung are dating by contract, not because i love her.” you confess, finally letting that out. “you think i want to be with her?” 

minho pushes your hand away, hot tears streaming down his face again. “what will the company think? we won’t work! you have so much to lose and-“

“you think i give a damn about all of this!?” you push him forward until he’s trapped between you and the wall. “i love you, lee minho.” you stare at his mortified expression, “i stand by what i said. for you, and only you, i’d give up everything.” 

“your career-“

“none of this means nothing if you’re not in it!” you grab his chin again, “you don’t have to love me back, you don’t have to accept my feelings! just, just talk to me again, please,” you beg, your own eyes glassing over, “don’t just be my coworker, be my friend again. be my safe place again. i-i’ll put away my feelings for you, we can forget that i love you but don’t shut me out again.” 

“y/n…” he stares at you, realizing how truly broken you’ve been since that day. 

“that’s what i meant that day… none of this is worth it if the one person that made me feel like i belonged isn’t with me.” 

“oh, y/n…” his bottom lip trembles, “have we really been that blind?”

you close your eyes and sigh, “i understand you’re scared of the public eye…”

“i am…” he whimpers. 

“but i’d walk through fire if it meant i’d have you as mine for the rest of my life.” 

he locks eyes with you, drowning in the warmth of your orbs. his heart hammers in his chest again, would he do the same? what is he really scared of? loving you and risking his career? 

no, he concludes. 

“y/n….” he says shallowly before leaning in to kiss you. 

he’s scared of losing you and realizing everything he has isn’t worth that. 

you kiss him with passion. his soft lips syncing with yours, saliva mixing with yours as your tongue grazes his. your hands grab his waist and pull him flush against you.

“ngh- y-your wrist-“ he tries to say as you eat his mouth. 

“don’t care,” you grumble as you attack his lips without remorse. 

the pesty sting in your bone doesn’t matter when he’s finally in your arms. his whimpers and moans make you want more. you know he’ll sound even more beautiful beneath you in the sheets, taking all you have to offer. 

just the thought accelerates your heart rate. the beautiful man you’ve always wanted is finaly before you. the kiss means more than a confession. you place your hands behind his thighs, he makes a noise when you lift him up. 

“ah- your shoulder-!”

“it’s okay baby, what you make me feel is bigger than the pain,” you tease as you carry him to your bed. 

he can’t scold you or complain because you attack his mouth again. you grin into the kiss as you sit on the edge of the bed with him on your lap. it’s probably the hottest thing minho will ever experience. he straddles your waist for more comfort in this position, hands running through your hair as you kiss along his jawline. when you kiss a certain spot, he twitches and whines. 

with a lazy smile, you pull away and look at him. 

“let me take you,” you beg softly, panting.

he swallows, looking down at the tent in your shorts. “but gayoung-“

“can you stop mentioning her?” you growl, pulling him down by the hips so that your boner pokes him through his joggers. “she will never have me the way you can.” you kiss his ear, making him shiver, “the way you will.”

“i’m scared,” he voices out. he wraps his arms around your neck, “i-i want to say yes but… there will be no going back, y/n…”

“it was never a choice,” you say.

and he lets you push him down onto the bed. 

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