callum knew from the second rayla showed back up that she regretted it ("i wish i could just forgive her"). he was mad (and confused) when she came back yes but happy too. saw the disappointment but understanding in her eyes when he went to leave and then he couldn't go through with it. she acknowledged how it hurt him even when he refused to. she asked if she could stay. he heard her apologize to ezran. saw that she was willing to stay behind if he wanted her to. saw her sacrifice everything she could (again, and again, and again) for the good of their mission. that this time before she left she'd said it all to his face. and most importantly that she came back, again, even while definitively knowing viren was out there, and that she was choosing to stay by his side through it all this time in spite of it.
callum's side of big feelings were more or less wrapped up from 4x09 onwards, with regret over his own initial responses ("i was wrong. i waited too long" / "what if we tried that moment again?") taking its place because all he wants is to be with her and he's been the one slowing their gears.
rayla is the one who's needed the 3-4 season arc with it (with s7 surely going to further challenge her ideas of sacrifice and self-sacrifice). callum's well past that ("because i know you, rayla" / "i trust her. unconditionally" / "you can tell me when you're ready"). he always has been
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martin is so so mean to arthur in abu dhabi actually. like. in the first two seconds he calls him stupid. and then arthur clearly idolises him, 'i want to train myself to speak in 24 hour clock like martin'. it's just. much to think about
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Just finished reading pez dispenser debris.
Firstly: crying, screaming, throwing up, ball’s to the wall insane. I am taking this fic between my teeth and shaking it furiously like a dog with its favorite toy. I am running circles in my enclosure just to bleed off some of the emotions this experience has given me.
Secondly: this fic is heart wrenching. All of the things I would’ve wished had been addressed in canon content of BNHA. How does Horikoshi throw away one of the biggest points that enraptures the audience into caring about Izuku? How does the narrative seemingly forget the entire reason he was so fervent in chasing his dream as a hero? I think this is one of the biggest gripes I have about the series, and it’s the one that’s only ever been remedied by amazing fic writers like you.
How do you face the part of yourself you’ve seemingly buried and forgotten? How do you come to terms with the fact that horrible things happened to you by no fault of your own? What’s the fallout of realizing that the people who should’ve cared and protected you might’ve also been hurting you all along?
Where do you even begin in this entire mess?
A part of me, despite the fantastical elements of the medium itself, feels so incredibly seen by this. It’s incredibly difficult, making amends with the part of yourself that was so deeply hurt in the past. It’s a part of life, i think, to learn to walk beside that part of you, to lay it to rest and acknowledge that it will always be there. Izuku, of course, has done none of this, and in this lies the crutch of the matter that’s the center of this fic. I’m happy I stumbled across this fic, even though I haven’t consumed BNHA content in years.
That being said, do you allow any works inspired by your own? I need to put down some of the emotional toll this fic has done to me on paper. Apologies for the ramble, i am just really passionate about this fic. Hope to see more of your work in the future!
I’m so so happy you like it! I wanted pez dispenser debris to be this horrible reconciliation with the part of you that was still hurt and mad about it, and I’m so glad that resonated.
And absolutely, go for it! I’m thrilled it made enough of an impact to make you want to make something too. I do usually ask that you stick in a note or link or something giving credit to the original fic, and if you’re comfortable with it, send me a link to anything you publish and I’d love to boost it here!
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