#my day is always lifted
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omg where'd you get your top it looks like it would fall apart after one cycle in the wash
#i need you to imagine my very specific vision for yakumo piggybacking on eiden ok:#eiden is such a playful lil scamp so idk one day he wants to test his strength by carrying yakumo#yakumo's always carrying passed-out-eiden after marathon sex sessions so. how heavy can a vertical noodle possibly be#but yakumo's scared he's too heavy or that he'll be too awkwardly shaped (whatever that means) for eiden to carry#so while eiden is crouched down in front of yakumo beckoning him to climb aboard#yakumo stiffly positions himself . but . his feet barely leave the ground#and their bodies aren't touching much.. as in#yaku's knees are gripping at eiden's midsection instead of scooching up close#because he doesn't want his crotch right up against eiden's back LOL#and he's very lightly touching eiden's shoulders with his hands#but since yakumo's body is so distant/unevenly perched.. it actually makes it tougher for eiden to carry him#so eiden has to coax yakumo into getting MUCH CLOSER against his body#'come on . right up against my back. it'll make it easier!!'#'no need to be shy 😏😙'#'that's right! now put your arms around my neck. there we go!!'#after yakumo loosens up and loses rock posture... he indeed becomes easy to carry#so eiden gets to strut around proudly with a yakumo on his back for a bit#this whole thing was inspired by me wanting to see oli bridal carry yakumo LOL#it would be sooooooo easy . oli is sooo strong and yakumo sooo flimsy. just scoop him up. kiss his forehead#tbh he could lift yakumo one handed but the bridal carry is more comfortable and oli is Considerate#then when i had oli AND eiden carrying yaku in my head.. i started imagining the others#something about.... yakumo being tossed around by bottoms#fills me with unprecedented amounts of delight#GARU!! SPIKE HIM ONTO THE GROUND LIKE THE ALMONDBALL#yakuoli#yakuei#yakumond#yakugaru#yakukaru
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gym clothes under the work clothes bc priorities
#on GOD these calves will GROW#hi#me#my face#selfie#mirror selfie#cute girl#girls who lift#girls with tattoos#penguin socks#wombats#happy wednesday#the work shirt is not on lol I do not walk around like this#the protein intake today is absolutely BANANAS#fuck I need a nap#if you find me asleep on a pallet out back mind your business#hot girl shit#as always#be my friend#message me#or don't that's cool too#lord knows half of yall are gonna send unsolicited pics and then delete when I don't reply in 14 seconds#but if not!! I have work drama and babygirls to talk about!!#the babygirls in question are men who work on motorcycles all day#ok#i love yall#love me#later taters
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telling myself to continue on like normal and write like normal but how am i supposed to do that when i know my world is ending in 24 hours?
tw for tags: i accidentally rambled on and aired out all my grief for my dog
#ive known since the moment we got the cancer diagnosis id be losing him#it doesnt make it easier#tw pet loss#ive experienced a dog dying unexpectedly and now a planned death#i have decided there is no death thats easy. you'll always wish it went the other way.#in 24 hours ill be loading him into my car one last time#ill be joking about how heavy he is as i lift my 'heavy baby' into the backseat#i'll be babytalking him the entire drive and nearly dislocating my arm just to pet him at the red lights for the last time#i bought him reese's peanut butter cups. because he loves peanut butter and deserves to taste chocolate before he goes#i got him all his favorite treats. been feeding him all the meals he'd beg for that id say 'dogs cant have'#i just. this is hard. im losing my baby. my best friend.#the 'aggressive' boy no one wanted for 2 years until i came upon him and said 'hes coming home with me'#people keep telling me i dont have to be in the room when it happens but how could i do that?#how could i leave him alone this last time (arguably the most important time) when the day i brought him home#i made the promise that he'd never be alone again?#how could i do that when every time hes sick he wants me near him? puts his head in my lap?#how could i when during my roughest times he protected me so fiercely?#the only time he's been anything but a gentle giant has always been when he protects me#how could i not protect HIM one last time?#im sorry. im in my feels. this fucking sucks.
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callum knew from the second rayla showed back up that she regretted it ("i wish i could just forgive her"). he was mad (and confused) when she came back yes but happy too. saw the disappointment but understanding in her eyes when he went to leave and then he couldn't go through with it. she acknowledged how it hurt him even when he refused to. she asked if she could stay. he heard her apologize to ezran. saw that she was willing to stay behind if he wanted her to. saw her sacrifice everything she could (again, and again, and again) for the good of their mission. that this time before she left she'd said it all to his face. and most importantly that she came back, again, even while definitively knowing viren was out there, and that she was choosing to stay by his side through it all this time in spite of it.
callum's side of big feelings were more or less wrapped up from 4x09 onwards, with regret over his own initial responses ("i was wrong. i waited too long" / "what if we tried that moment again?") taking its place because all he wants is to be with her and he's been the one slowing their gears.
rayla is the one who's needed the 3-4 season arc with it (with s7 surely going to further challenge her ideas of sacrifice and self-sacrifice). callum's well past that ("because i know you, rayla" / "i trust her. unconditionally" / "you can tell me when you're ready"). he always has been
#rayllum#tdp spoilers#s6 spoilers#today is probs the last day im tagging for spoilers tbh#text post#arc 2#mine#s4#s4 is my best friend#and always did the heavy lifting!! it was Obvious
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fast sketch for today💓💓
#god these two are so cute will I ever stop drawing them ????#NO😤😤#anyways I am so tired today😭🙏#woke up at 5am & I’ve drank so much coffee!!#I have a lot of work this afternoon so I wanted to take advantage of my morning#deep cleaned/ran errands/walked the goblins#I’m about to exercise and idk why but I decided I’ve been too lazy about things lately#and I’m pushing myself so much with lifting these days I am SO SORE#(but like the good type of sore)#I just want my thighs to be more muscular 😭😭😭😭😭 lots of squats deadlift bulgarians hip thrust etc etc etc#at least I know by next week I will already see the results 🙏🙏 then I’ll be lazy again until they fade 😭#I have never managed to be obsessive about exercise or really enjoy it I just do the bare minimum to stay healthy#and hopefully my body will thank me as I get older#bc my job is so physical that I really need to take care of things or I could really mess things up for the future#tbh I’ve always noticed that tattoo artists always lift a lot🤝🤝#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#imelda reyes#poppy sweeting#imelda reyes x poppy sweeting
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happy birthday! 💕🎉🌻
I really hope it’s a lovely one!!!
Oh thank you! ;-; 🧡
#answered#cursehole#the latter part is an idiom so you don't need to listen to this but let me ramble a little since it's been on my mind all day#birthdays always unnerve me for some reason#it's not even the getting older part#I just get hella tense about the pressure to make the day *special* in some way because that's how it's supposed to go#and I often just don't wanna do anything too out of the ordinary I'm pretty happy with mundane forms of enrichment#but I can't enjoy those boring things I actually like to do since they don't have that “special once-in-a-year” feel to them#so it's more of an annual mandatory “survive through the executive dysfunction" day#I know the curse will be lifted overnight so maybe tomorrow will be better
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Got back from my trip back down to my old area and it went... really well actually. For all that I hated, hated, HATED living there, during the last 7 years or so I found a community the next town over that was lovely and supportive and wonderfully kind. Some of them have moved away in the time I've been gone, but I had SO much gd fun visiting with everyone still there, watching the renewal of vows, dancing at the reception, getting tons of massive bear hugs and lots of cheek kisses, and I even popped into their church service this morning to visit a bit longer with everyone (hilariously i did not burst into flames or get thrown out). I missed them so much. It's not my faith anymore, and church is no longer my 'place', but my friends there... I'm glad I didn't have to leave them behind, that we all still love each other, that they're all so happy about me being happy and I'm just as happy that they're happy. And some of them said they'd come up to my city to visit! YES. COME TO ME IN THE LAND OF SNOW AND ICE, VISIT ME, LIVE HERE, MOVE HERE, I PROMISE IT'S NOT AS COLD AS YOU THINK.
Also I stopped at my family's favorite hole-in-the-wall bakery before starting home because I'd called ahead for 2 dozen of their speciality chocolate frosted, glazed cinnamon buns, they are as big as your hand, they're the most delicious things I've ever had, the bakery owner lady literally helped me carry all the boxes out to my car, I am going to freeze them and see if me and the fam can't drag out the supply for 6-8 months, I regret nothing.
#pasta life update#i had so much fun and i love them#how do i move them all up here#also i say 'bear hug' in at least one case as a pun#because one of my friends there is huge and fuzzy and flamingly gay and he loves to make bear hug jokes#right before he grabs you and hugs you and lifts you right up off your gd feet#so it was like#an entire two days of just being loved on and hugged and laughing and dancing and i am very happy#AND THEY GAVE ME A RAINBOW UNICORN DUCKIE??? 😭#They apparently gave them out at Pride this year and I always used to help out at their booth#by dressing in my inflatable t rex suit and decking him out in rainbow gear so he was a Pride-a-saurus Rex#(it's an LGBT majority church so they're always at pride)#and they wanted me to know I'm still a part of that family even if I'm not there#and so they gave me a duckie!#i am going to treasure my lil LGBT rainbow unicorn duckie#also they asked about my tattoo! and I got to show it off! THEY WERE SO HAPPY FOR ME CAUSE THEY KNEW HOW LONG I'VE WANTED THIS#anyway sorry for rambling i need to sleep cause i am exhausted LOL
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hey so im not white
#spacie spoinks#lol#uhhh#thought i should clear the air about that#my family is from africa!! i have posted about it many times#although ppl who are new 2 my blog prolly dont know that cuz i dont advertise it#im also lightskin and draw myself like that so i get the confusion...but like. still#think about that before you send me hate mail i guess? idk#my wording on the post was based on me assuming a difference in discrimination between poc who are darker skinned#and poc like me who are lighter skinned who may not face the same things#b/c there is a big difference and it felt wrong to group myself with poc who will be suffering the most b/c of their darker skin color#yk?#anyway#instead of sending hate mail go drink some water and realize that we are on the same side here!!#i was also under severe distress when i made that post so like. of course its not gonna be 100% grammatically correct oml#some of you are....more upset about a typo than you should be#chat remind me 2 not make posts about political stuff theres racists in my notes again#always happens. jesus.#last post im gonna make about this!!!#have a good day!!#dont infight with each other#lift each other up an allat
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Huge shoutout to my mother for the questions she'd ask me when I was buying clothes as a child and teen:
"Can you sit down in those?"
"Can you raise your arms?"
"Can you bend over comfortably?"
Really helped me build the habit of evaluating whether an item of clothing is practical enough for my day-to-day life.
#thats not to say that ive never bought impractical clothing because i definitely have#but ive always found it to be a super useful step in deciding whether i like a piece of clothing#wearing practical clothing takes away so much of the mental burden of constantly self-assessing yourself throughout your day#i generally dont have to worry about things like flashing someone#or not being able to move my arms thru their full range of motion#or not being able to bend down to lift something#same goes for makeup#i dont have to worry about smudging it and making a mess when i scratch my face or rub my eyes or rest my chin on my hand#anyway i love dressing practically and i think unless youre wearing a costume for a specific event#then dressing in a way that limits your mobility and ability to live comfortably in your body is stupid
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i love being a big sister ><
#my sister works really close to me so when i finish i sometimes pop by and give her food#and it’s so nice to see her face brighten up a little when i come in#normally when i come home from work i peek into her room before i go into mine#and she always looks kinda skrunkly in her bed if she’s been home all day#so it gives me cute aggression LMFAO#she’s not telling me where she’s taking me for my birthday and i can’t help but feel bad bc she’s paying 😭😭😭#she’s very much an independent little lady but i can’t help but dote on her ahhaahhahajagabakahh#chitchatting ᵔᴗᵔ#there’s this one hoodie she has that’s kind of fuzzy#so she looks like a little bear#and i cannot contain my cute aggression with this one#so whenever she wears it i kind of yank her hoodie up like how you lift a kitten by the scruff of their neck
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i wonder if arthur and john ever try to do smth w two hands but it's extremely awkward. like arthur is cold and they wrap their hands around a cup of tea and when arthur tries to drink from it it spills all over him. bc it's hard to coordinate when you share a body and each of you has one arm but only one of you has the eyes
#fandom related#malevolent#arthur is asking john so many times to hand him smth or do smth and i think after enough time has passed#each of their arms will get its own tasks..sry im sleep deprived idk how to put it but like eg john will always open doors bc he can see#arthur will always hold the the razor for shaving bc he has the experience of doing it#and i think after a lot of time they can do things synchronously like lifting up a cup w two hands to drink from it#or firing a gun or buttoning a shirt or tying a knot etc etc#im revolving them in my mind these days#i also think it looks off when arthur walks. bc he moves his arm differently than john moves his arm.#same for his leg even tho im not sure if the whole leg belongs to john bc i just remember him saying smth abt the toes
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Gotta love the particular niche of influencers who claim that they turned their hooded eyes non-hooded or significantly changed some other part of their face by doing daily facial massages for years and years (and you can too by buying their 500$ 30 minute course!) when they’ve obviously had cosmetic surgery. Like cmon.
#I deal with a lot of sinus and stress related headaches so I do some face massage techniques on myself#which is why I guess these grifters have started popping up on my social media feeds#and the comments are full of people who believe them! but of course they always claim that their results are from YEARS worth of daily work#fully banking on you naturally not being able to do it every single day for seven years or whatever#so when your face doesn’t magically rearrange itself it’s not their fault#anyway facial massages are beneficial and can help with pain and some types of puffiness#they can’t lift your brow bone or significantly alter your jawline#grifters gonna grift
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Just when I think the day's going well, I crash a golf cart
#summer camp tag#ace is a mess#i do not have a drivers license and i havent even been behind the wheel in like 4 years since i stopped lessons cus of the pandemic#the day was going fine i got loads done didnt feel like i was irritating my director too bad#doing some paperwork for her and she says when im done well take the golf cart out while its not currently raining#im like ooh fun never been in a golf cart before i see the higher up staff in them im not gonna say no to chilling in a golf cart#i did not realise that meant i would be driving esp when she asked if id been in one before and i said no#she then asked if i could drive and i said not really thought that would be it#cus i was supposed to be studying for my theory before working towards my practical#but no she insists im driving and first off i gotta reverse outta this bay now at least i didnt have to think about gears#but i hate tryna figure out how to turn whilst in reverse in mess with my brain im not great with shape visualisation#we do all our stops its fine for the most part a lil too fast going down some of the hills#and some tight turns but my turns were always like that cus im too busy focusing on the most immediate thing#we get back i park fine and then shes like oh actually there are some more stops we can make so i reverse and turn back out#do our two stops with only minimal confusion about direction then as i go to park into the bay we came from#shes like oh actually park in the bay closest to the health centre and what i should have done was reversed and adjusted my angle#instead i drove directly into the supporting beam separating the two bays 🙃😭#i immediately turn the cart off and expect her to switch with me instead shes like laughing it off oh it was just a little bump it was fine#im like it was not that was a loud ass bang i feel so bad and then she lifts up the light cover i broke off saying its just a scratch#and i feel worse so pf course thats when the camp director comes out to check on the noise and i dont think ive ever worn a guiltier look#but theyre both laughing it off oh just having a little driving lesson :) and i am mortified#she gets back in the cart and shes still insisting that its fine and i should still park after that which i do with great trepidation#but there are no more problems and the lights still work but the cover does need fixing and i just oh my god#ive never crashed before never clipped or scratched a car so of course id crash the golf cart trying to park of all things 😭
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i want top neuvillette who's still femme and a crybaby my god is that so hard
#/lh#my tastes. masc bottoms femme tops#to be fair my dynamic with them is neuv gets pregnant but neuv also tops. so generally speaking. solid switches. but wrio bottoms#he's the king of the underworld after all.#i do think its hilarious tho if you look at the trends across wrlt vs nvwr interpretations#the tops always gets broadened...... masculinized.... aged#and the bottom becomes this waifish wet noodle..........#like ive seen bottom wrio with a baby face. paired with a neuv who's somehow broader than him#and alternatively ive seen the. meatiest. manliest middle-aged man wriothesley with a neuvillette who's back is perpetually arched#and im like the dimorphism is crazy /j this isnt just a strictly wrlt thing tho this is real across. every ship. that has ever existed lol#tho on a more serious note i have a big squick when it comes to bottom wrio interps where an emphasis on their dynamic is........#the fact that he's younger. or that they first met when he was a minor. im like weird thing to emphasize but ok.#disclaimer tho when i say crybaby hes not a Childish Man mind you. hes Sensitive and Awkward but he's still got that weird ancient stalenes#his voice just wobbles sometimes. he often sound like hes at the verge of tears even if his face is perfectly flat#hes autistic like that#and the sole reason why wrio doesnt top That Much is because hes fuckin tired man. eepy. hes like my god neuv if you still wanna go at it#ur gonna have to take the reins. baby im tired.#something something freakish dragon strength and stamina#personally. my hcs are as such. neuvillette is very lean. almost uncannily long if i exaggerate it for funsies. hes slenderman coded. skinn#but you find no texture underneath his skin. you can't feel bones or muscles shift when he moves when you touch him#there's this exceptional discomfort when you see him lift something that looks much heavier than he should be able to manage#almost like his long fingers might impale it. like you are balancing something soft and fleshy on a nail. it doesn't feel secure#like if wriothesley held you. his arms would feel warm and solid. thick and supportive. whereas neuv's feels like it might dig into you#i could yap all day.
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#I once made a joke to my students that even though I never worked out I was always mentally lifting weights#in the gym of my own mind.#and it’s been such a helpful metaphor#not to make an outrageous statement here or to overestimate how smart I am (often not very smart at all!)#but just. my brain gets use. it gets exploration. it has been honed.#if it had an embodied form (other than my body) yeah! it would be lifting weights!#and/or doing gymnastics lol (for a zeitgeist-y metaphor)#(actually I am legit so good at mental gymnastics)#but ANYWAY the point is: the metaphor struck me because it highlighted how little my brain gets a break#and again—it’s not all worthwhile or deep or insightful or GOOD. a lot of it is useless or downright silly mental activity#but it IS activity. it is mental motion. day in day out. and it is so so so so so so so hard for me to give my brain a break#or even know how to do that#and I am absolutely tearing mental muscles and getting whatever it is athletes get when they work out too hard#or too strenuously#to extend the metaphor to the limit#and I need !!!!!!! a rest day#vacations are almost worse tbh. I feel like I hit this point a lot in the summer#because school forces me to think about things but actually much more helpfully it forces me to stop thinking about things#and do something else. it’s thinking on a schedule lol#and so the breaks are just built-in#but on my own I’ll just go go go go go and fall down every rabbit hole and chase my own tail#and it’s so tiring#anyway it hit me the other day that I could actually set limits for myself#like I was thinking about something in the shower (as you do) and it was stressful#and then I was like you have until the end of the shower to think about this and then you have to stop#and it was super helpful. I need to do that more. but yeah.#I don’t know how to give myself a rest day because who knows what will set the brain off#I also Know it wouldn’t be as bad if it wasn’t all interwoven with anxiety. but anixey is very deeply interwoven with how my brain works#so stressfully going down a million thought paths#ANYWAY !!!!! it is 1;41 am and I can’t sleep!!!!!!!
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of all the things to turn into a ridiculous (cleaned up) long comic (i have PLENTTYY of sketched long comics) i chose: spader skips class
i still dont know how to panel comics but that s what practicing is. for
#in the sketchbook u can just draw a hundred little busts and it is fine#i always put too much space between my comic panels. much to think about.#ANYWAYS.#adventure time#wizard city#distant lands#spader#cadebra#digital#i get so embarrasseddrawing long comics. like hi. taking up a whole street here. sorry folks. sorry. has to be done.#if i dont draw one millions billion spaders a day ill die.#i wish hed lived long enough to have a fun class experience and everythign puts my hands on my head#'or the way ive seen you do it before?' <- has been unwillingly subjected to cadebras magic shows a million times#no one else will watch them. she needs an audience. (Saws herself in half for a booing spader and blaine) (its the only trick they enjoy)#'STELLAR!' has come into my brain forever now. i cant get a handle on his vocabularly but i think stellar! is part of it#spader king of knocking with one hand then lifting the other hand when the camera turns. oopsa daisy#i digitalized this entire thing ebcause 'oh- look. i dont think theyre gonna hurt me.' hurt ME. YES THEY DO. AUUGHGF. HATERED. AUGHGF.#ok enough tangents. bye now.
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