#my dad just told me a girl who's birthday is literally 8 DAYS BEFORE MINE

[slashingdisneypasta]

Oh my God, its happening. People I grew up with are getting married.

[official-weasley]

The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley: Pt. 8, Ch. 12

PART 8: WHERE IT ALL ENDS Chapter 12 - Now, Then and Forever

Charlie

“And then I looked him in the eyes and he just backed down.” Dominik slammed his beer bottle at the table, laughing so hard, finishing his story. Andrei almost fell from his seat and I brushed a tear away, laughing so much.

“Dom, there is no way the Ukranian Ironbelly just gave up when you didn't give him food.” I said, still laughing. His story was ridiculous and unbelievable but the way he was telling it was too funny not to listen.

“If that was true mate, you wouldn't be sitting here in front of us.” Andrei followed.

“You bastards, never believing me.” Dom rolled his eyes, knowing full well he was full of it. “You'll see when...”

But he didn't finish the sentence. His eyes widened as he looked at something behind Andrei and me. We both turned around and my heart skipped a beat when I saw Bill's Patronus, moving towards us.

“Charlie. Gather everyone you can. There is a battle at Hogwarts.” Bill's voice said and we all stood up at once.

“Alright!” I clapped my hands together. “For all we know they can be fighting for hours already. Get everyone and send out as many messages as you can, we need to go now!”

“There won't be time to set a Portkey, Charlie.” Andrei said.

“We'll apparate and hope for the best. We can't lose any time.” He nodded and we started gathering people around.

All across the village people started apparating, nodding at me or looking taken aback by the sudden change of atmosphere. I was just hoping we weren't too late and the people we have been getting to join us in all these years will be of help during the battle, no matter how many we will be able to inform on such short notice.

“Good luck, mate.” Andrei pulled me into a hug before apparating. We agreed that we should all apparate into Hogsmeade and go to the school from there since we didn't know what was happening and where the reinforcements will be needed most.

When I got there, everything was quiet. It looked like it was half abandoned. As more people appeared, the windows and doors of Hogsmeade houses started to open.

“C'mon! There's a fight going on at Hogwarts. Grab your wands and let's go!” I started running from door to door, shouting at the confused villagers.

“Who are you?” I turned around to see a rather large man standing there.

“Charlie Weasley. We brought more people. We heard there's a battle. Who are you?” The man looked astonished and frightened at the same time.

“Horace Slughorn.” He introduced himself. “I came here to get more people.”

“Good.” I nodded. “Then you can start pointing them to the direction where they should enter the School Grounds.” He didn't say anything, just nodded and hurried past me.

I waited a bit longer, for more people to appear but when I saw that several older villagers, unfit to fight, were shouting from their windows where they should go, I joined the group, marching towards the school.

Once we reached the barrier, we stopped. There were so many of us that I was certain we were going to win this without even knowing what was going on. We listened for a bit but couldn't hear anything. Then a few rows in the front started shouting literal battle screams. The rest of us joined as we wanted to let the fighters inside know that we are coming to help.

Once we got to the Courtyard, I didn't have time to look for any familiar faces or my family. Everything was in pure chaos. I needed a moment to focus and distinguish between our fighters and the enemy.

Before I knew it, I was throwing spells and jinxes in every direction. It was much worse and much more intense than the battle in the Sanctuary but I didn't lose focus. This was my moment to get revenge. To make as many of them fly in the air, losing their breath and getting hurt as I could.

It felt good to fight again and the pure adrenaline in my veins didn't allow me to get tired even though I felt as if I was fighting for hours. I saw Bill fight for a split second with the corner of my eye. And mum and dad as I turned around. There was a moment when I thought I saw Ginny but mum wouldn't allow her to fight, would she?

Before I could think twice about it, I already had two new Death Eaters standing before me, missing one's green light coming from his wand by millimeters. I was able to stun one and disarm the other and there was a new one making his way to me.

Before he could raise his wand at me, someone that I didn't know, hit him with a jinx from behind, and as his eyes widened, he hit the ground. I nodded to the person who saved me from the enemy and looked around to see where I should go next and who should I help to fight.

I felt something sharp hitting my back and my vision darkened. When I opened my eyes, I was still at Hogwarts but everything around me was white and blurry. I saw a tree in the distance and something shimmering and I knew I was by the Lake where I proposed to Nova. I carefully stepped forward, not knowing what is going on or why am I seeing this. I didn't feel any pain from the blast. My heart started racing and I felt like I always did when I held Nova in my arms. Warm, calm and loved.

“Hi, Charlie.” Tears blurred my eyes and I felt my whole body get numb. I turned around.

“Nova?” She was standing in front of me as real and as healthy as I had her in my memory. She was wearing a long white dress and the Dragon necklace I gave her for her 12th birthday.

“Am I dead?” I was lost for words. There hasn't been a day in 3 years that I didn't wish to see her face again.

“No. You're going back.” She smiled gently as she stepped closer.

“What is this, why can I see you?” My voice was shaking. I didn't believe I would ever see her again and here she was.

“I brought you here.” She was still smiling. “You are hurt, but you will be fine. I just took this opportunity to talk to you.” She explained.

“Is this real?” I took a step toward her, not really knowing what would happen if our bodies met. “Will I remember this when I wake up?”

“It's real and only if you want to.” She nodded.

“Can I touch you?” I asked desperately. I knew I was hurt, probably laying on the floor while different colors of spells, jinxes, and curses flew around me but I couldn't help to think that this was the best thing that happened to me since she died.

She took a step closer and grabbed my hand. My whole body started shaking when I felt her touch. I pulled her in a hug and buried my fingers in her hair.

“I missed you so much!” Tears started pouring down my face. Embracing her felt so real as if she never left.

“I know. I miss you too, Charlie.” I felt her chest shaking and I knew she was holding in the tears.

“Char.” How I longed to hear her say my name like that just one more time. “I brought you here for a reason.” She gently pulled away from me but I kept my arms around her waist.

“You broke your promise to me.” She sighed.

“What?” I didn't. I promised her I will be what I always wanted to be before I gave her my heart.

“You promised me you'll be happy.” She couldn't hold back the tears anymore. “This,” she placed her hand on my chest, “is not being happy.” It felt as if she was touching my soul. A certain heat radiated from her, keeping me calm and I felt content after a long time.

“I can't, Nova. I can't get over you. You are the love of my life and...” My voice broke completely and I felt as if I couldn't breathe, my throat tight. “...I know it's been almost three years but there isn't a day that I...”

“I know.” She stopped me as she cupped my face.

“Can you go to our...” She stopped me, putting her hand over my mouth, shaking her head. I was curious what this place was. Was it connected to the real world? Could she still be there?

“No, but I can feel you all the time.” Another tear marked her face. “Charlie, I didn't die so you could be unhappy. I want you to live your life not do your job and beat yourself with guilt over me.”

“Nova...” I tried steadying my voice. “You know me. You know I can't.” I pulled her into a tight embrace again. I didn't know how long this was going to last and I wanted to savor every second of it.

“Charlie...” She pulled away and lifted my chin. “You have to forgive yourself. What I did was my decision and I don't regret it. If I would have a chance to do it all over again, I would save you every time and there was nothing you could do to stop me.” She pressed her forehead to mine.

“I wanted to do it and you beating yourself over it is not worth it.” I opened my mouth but she stopped me.

“It pains me every day when I feel how you torture yourself. You can't live like this, Char.” She whispered.

“Then let me stay here with you.” I blurted out. “I don't want to live without you, Nova.” We were both crying but I felt so calm. I knew if I was back in my world, I would feel my chest ripping but I think her presence was keeping me calm. She was keeping me from falling apart.

“I can't let you do that.” She lowered her head, shaking it. “You have to live your life. Move on. Find a girl.” I winced at her last words. I could never do that. “Settle down. Have a family like you told me you wanted.” She looked me in the eyes but I looked away, it was too painful to think about things like that without her in the picture. “Remember, 2 girls and a boy?” She let out a small chuckle.

“But I wanted that with you. You don't understand...” I completely shut down. I couldn't believe I was talking to her again knowing I will soon open my eyes and never see her again. “I never wanted anything other than work with Dragons and then I met you and I fell in love and I had something I never even thought imaginable and I saw a different future for myself. Everything that I told you that day was created in my head because of you.” I couldn't stop crying and I didn't know if this was a blessing or a curse. I never wanted to let go of her.

“You know...” She started after a long silence. “There was a moment when I was considering coming back as a ghost.” I pulled away and looked at her. “But I knew it wouldn't be fair to you. I was hoping you would move on. It pained me knowing you would be with someone else but it would be better than this...” She pressed both her hands against my chest. “Charlie, I don't want you to be so sorrowful.” She started crying again.

“And what would you do if the situation was reversed?” I asked with a shaky voice. If she was going to tell me she would've moved on, I would promise her to try and do the same.

“That's not important.” She shook her head, I could barely hear her. “It is to me.” I cupped her face and kissed her. Her lips were as soft as I remember. I pressed her tighter onto my body. It was just as I recalled; tender but with so much hidden passion. I tried to memorize the feeling of her touch because I never wanted to forget it.

“I wouldn't.” She said very quietly almost as she was ashamed of her answer. “I could never...” She stopped talking when her voice broke. I knew she would feel the same as me if the situation was reversed and I knew she tried her hardest to lie to me just to convince me to move on but I couldn't blame her for failing. I wouldn't believe her anyway.

“Then how do you expect me to do so?” I kissed her again, feeling like I will never be so lucky again, to hold her in my arms. “It comforts me to know that even though you're gone, you can feel my emotions but my love for you will never go away. One moment we were fighting together and the next you were gone and I knew at that moment that everything I ever wanted with you, will never happen for me. It's not worth it without you.”

I buried my head in her shoulder, the look in her eyes, the understanding which told me she knew exactly what I was talking about because she would feel the same if it was the other way around. Her look pained me more than anything and after all these years, I have never wished so much to have her back.

“At least promise me you will forgive yourself.” She said softly after a long moment of both of us crying. It made me look at her. “Promise me, Char.” I didn't know what to say but I did feel different. I felt like something was lifted off my chest. I finally got the closure I needed all these years to know she was somewhere safe and peaceful.

“I promise.” I whispered, my voice rough. “Will I ever get to see you again?”

“I am already breaking a lot of rules by being with you for so long.” She chuckled.

“Tonks and Tulip would be proud.” I said, smiling. I still couldn't comprehend how this was happening to me and where exactly were we.

“Just remember that I am with you at all times.” She smiled reassuringly. It made me feel better, knowing that she was, in a way with me, even though I couldn't see her or hold her.

“Char.” I closed my eyes as her voice filled my ears and I wanted to remember it. “It's time to go back.” She was crying but her lips were curved up. She hugged me again and I closed my arms around her as tight as I could.

“You will be okay.” She whispered in my ear. “I promise I will be waiting for you when it's your time.” I felt much better about going back, knowing that one day, we would be together again, like we were meant to be. I could live with that.

“I love you, Nova. There are no words...” I felt my throat tighten again.

“I know. I feel it.” She tried smiling. “I love you too, Charles.” She buried her fingers in my hair as she pulled me closer and kissed me. My whole body was shaking, shivers down my spine and I could feel my heart beating just like the first time we were standing under this tree and I told her how I felt about her.

I suddenly felt as if the wind was blowing me away, I heard noises that I couldn't define and I felt my whole body ache as I opened my eyes, I knew I was back.

“Thank you, Nova.” I whispered to myself and wiped the tears from my face. I felt her everywhere. I felt her on my chest, her breath on my ear, her fingers in my hair. I felt her last kiss as if it never stopped. Something filled my chest and I felt hopeful. It was the first time since she passed away, that I knew, I will be okay.

THE END

A/N: I can't believe I just posted the last chapter! This is it! My first story is now officially fully on the internet. I don't know whether to smile or cry, it's kind of overwhelming, not going to lie! 🥺

I want to thank every single one of you that read it. Honestly, it means so much. I decided to post this story to get over my fear of being rejected and I wanted to prove to myself that I can commit to something and post every day no matter the consequences. Truth be told because I am new to Tumblr and still don't know how exactly it works, I thought I will just publish a chapter per day and have this blog as a sort of private library for my stories. I had no idea anyone would find it and read it, let alone comment on it and send me such nice messages about it.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed publishing it. With everything that is going on in the world right now, waking up and looking forward to posting the next chapter and reading through it one more time has brought me so much happiness and my love for writing has been at least doubled and I can't wait to read more stories and write and publish new ones!

I have always seen the internet as this negative space of bad criticism and negative energy but Tumblr has proved me wrong on an almost daily basis. Everybody is so nice and amazing and encouraging and I think we need more sites like this because a lot of people would love the internet more.

I don't even know what else to write, I can't find the words to express how thankful I am for everyone who interacted with me during this story. It's been so fun and made me laugh so many times, so thank you again! ❤️

With that being said, I have a secret...

I might have done something that I didn't quite expect I would do but I just couldn't help myself!

Part 8 of this story has been so overwhelming. From the beginning to the plot twist, to everyone freaking out about Nova dying. I have finished writing this story in February and publish the first part on 16th March. I knew back then what happens in Chapters 6 and 7. I knew how everything turns out and how the story ends. But once I published it, once it was finally “out there” I felt so bad and so sad for Charlie. My characters grew on me after so many months and when I published those two chapters I needed something happier. I needed some fluff, a happier ending. I started reading different stories but nothing helped. I figured I needed a happier ending for Charlie, for MY version of our Dragon lover.

So...

I did a thing...

I wrote myself a happier ending. An alternative, if you will. It's more of another chapter with a plot twist, I guess. My dilemma now is...should I post it tomorrow? Should I make it see the light of day or should I put it in a folder on my computer and never speak of it again?

Don't get me wrong, I love the ending. I LOVE Chapter 12. It's one of my favorites. But I love the other ending just as much. I want you to decide if I should publish it. I don't want to ruin anything for anybody in case you liked the ending and you are content with how the story ends.

I will be happy either way because this has been a lovely journey. So thank you again and have a nice day! ❤️

[heyyyharry]

Chapter 14: To The Boy Next Door

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Stay Mine)

…in which they play a game.

Word count: 4.7k

AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Wattpad link (Thea as Y/N)

ANNOUNCEMENT: The last chapter was supposed to be released on July 1, BUT I have two final exams on that same week, so I’ll have no choice but to move the schedule forward.

Last My Girl update: July 8, 2020. (July 3: Tumblr preview and full chapter on Patreon).

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One year later

“Come in.”

When Asher entered the room, Gemma almost didn’t recognize him. He’d got a beard now, and he wasn’t wearing a suit. If she hadn’t known the charming Asher in the past, she would be so shocked to find out he was the CEO’s son. Too bad she didn’t care enough to wonder what had happened to him after his business had gone bankrupt because his father had refused to finance it. Now he was just a regular accountant.

His eyes went wide when he saw her sitting with his dad in the CEO office.

Hello, Asher, she thought, yet gave him nothing but a polite nod as if they were meeting for the first time.

“Asher, I suppose you remember Gemma?” asked his father with a sigh.

“Yes,” Asher mumbled, his gaze falling to the floor.

Of course he remembered her. Abusers always remembered their victims.

His dad looked from him back to Gemma. Hands folded on the desk, he said, “Gemma is our new COO. I hope you will have no trouble working for her.”

Asher’s head jerked up as if he’d just heard a gunshot. And Gemma, of course, was the one holding the gun.

She relished his astonishment and cracked a smile as she rose from her seat and walked toward him. She extended her hand, but he didn’t take it.

“Working for her?” he asked his dad, who replied with a stern expression.

“Yes. She’s your new boss.”

Gemma broke into a smirk, still holding out her hand in the space between them. Asher’s eyes had grown so big they nearly took over his entire face. “You,” he hissed at her, “I can't believe you weaselled your way into this company.”

“Oh, no.” Gemma frowned pretentiously and dropped her hand down to her side. “I’ve been a shareholder for almost a year. I’ve done more for this company in that short amount of time than you have your whole life.”

He thinned his lips and glared at her, unable to muster a single word.

She hated him but respected his father. And what was better as revenge than making sure she took everything he wanted? First, his father’s affection. Soon, his father’s company.

“I don’t want to make this unpleasant for you, Asher,” her voice dropped so low as she leaned in so only the two of them could hear. “Or maybe I do. So you better be a nice employee, because I wouldn't be sorry to kick you out of here.”

His face dimmed as she stepped away. If there was a camera, she’d take a picture and put it in a frame. Though she doubted this would be the last time she got to see that defeated look on his face.

"See you around, Ash," she said, placing a hand on her hip as she breezed right past him out of the room.

Two interns, a blonde and a dark-skinned girl, rose from their cubicles and rushed up to her as she was heading for the lift.

“Excuse me,” the blonde said timidly. “Are you...our new COO?”

“Y-Yes, yes, I am.” Gemma worked up a smile and the girls giggled to each other like teenagers.

“Congratulations and welcome!” said the dark-skinned one, who said her name was Marie and her friend was Claria. Gemma assumed they were going to fangirl about her brother, but then Marie said, “We love your sister-in-law’s book. We’re such big big fans.”

It took Gemma a second. “Y/N? She and Harry aren’t–”

“Future sister-in-law,” Claria corrected her friend, looking nervously from Marie back to Gemma. “We’ve...heard some rumours. Can you confirm or deny it?”

“I cannot. But I’ll let her know about you girls.”

The girls grinned like the Cheshire Cat, and Gemma could tell they were trying their best not to freak out. She waved them goodbye and hastened into the lift before the door closed.

Her phone buzzed with a new text.

Isey: Lunch? :)

Lunch :) she replied, biting back a grin.

Another notification popped up. A reply from Harry's girl. Gemma rolled her eyes as she remembered lending Harry her phone a couple of weeks ago. He'd changed most names in her contacts and she'd only managed to change back a few of them.

Harry's girl: Thanks for the birthday wish, Gem! (heart emoji)

You're welcome! Is Harry coming home today?

Harry's girl: I hope not. But idk.

We never know. How can you STAND him? Ugh.

Harry's girl: I can't lol.

Harry's girl: Anyway, what was his reaction?

Gemma knew right away whom Y/N was talking about.

Priceless, she responded.

Harry's girl: QUEEN. Make his life a living hell.

Oh I will. Certainly.

The door slid open with a ding, and Gemma tucked the phone into her bag. Her assistant was waiting outside to direct her to her new office. With a smile on her face, she stepped out of the lift and shook the assistant's hand.

She was so ready for this new beginning.

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“Good aaaaaafternoon, girlfriend! Are you feeling twenty-two?”

Y/N laughed hoarsely as she blinked a few times to let her vision get used to the light from the windows opposite the bed. “You’re embarrassing,” she said, yawning.

On the phone, Harry gasped. “Did you just wake up?!”

“I stayed up all night talking to you and had a zoom meeting with Laura this morning. Besides, it’s Sunday.”

“It’s your birthday.”

“Duh.” She grinned at the ceiling and exhaled. “I’m twenty-two now. I’m like...old.”

“Ouch. Well, aren’t you supposed to get ready for the book signing?”

“Book signing is tomorrow. Bad boyfriend.”

The sound of his laugh made her heart leap. She missed him so much. He’d been in New York for two weeks and wouldn’t be back until next Thursday, which meant she’d have to spend this birthday without him. She wasn’t sure if she should let him know she wished he were here. She really did. But she also didn’t want him to drop everything and fly back to her for only one night. He’d done that before and it'd been romantic, still, she never wanted him to do it again.

“To prove that I’m not a bad boyfriend,” he said, snapping her back to the moment. “I have a surprise for you.”

She sat up straight and whipped her head to the door. “Goddamn it, Harry,” she huffed, “if you tell me you’re standing right outside–”

“No!” He burst out laughing. “No, no, no, I’m still in New York.”

She sighed in relief, but couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed.

“My surprise is in the pocket of my favourite suit,” he said.

She had no idea what he might have up his sleeves (quite literally). Still, she rolled out of bed, shoved her feet into her slippers, and padded out of the room.

Two years ago on this same day, he’d brought her to the roof of an abandoned building, where they’d watched the night city and eaten his homemade cupcakes. On her twenty-first birthday, they hadn’t been talking. And so this year, she’d suspected that he must have planned something extravagant to surprise her, even though he wasn’t home to celebrate with her. The surprise had come a bit earlier than expected.

She switched on the light in the walk-in closet, which was as large as her old flat. His favourite suit was the one he’d worn on Grammy’s night. Sparkling dark velvet to match the aesthetic of her silvery mermaid gown, which, unfortunately, she hadn’t got a chance to show off to the world.

She stuck her hand into the breast pocket of the jacket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “Found it."

“Go on. Read it,” he encouraged.

“If it says ‘Happy Birthday, smiley face’, I’ll strangle you when you come back.”

A laugh burst right through him. “Your choking kink is getting out of hand, babe.”

“Shut up.” She huffed, unfolding the note. “Should have said I loved you,” she read aloud. “What does that mean?”

“You can ask for my help only once. Call me when you’ve found the fifth clue.”

“Wait!”

But he’d already hung up.

She almost called him back but then decided not to. She didn't want to waste her only chance to ask for help.

Classic treasure hunt, she thought, rereading the sentence.

The prize would be her birthday present for sure. Maybe he’d hidden it in the wood somewhere. A normal boyfriend would just have the birthday present delivered, or leave it on the table or in the garage, not challenge his girlfriend’s two only active brain cells with a children’s game. But Y/N wasn’t a normal girlfriend. And as much as she hated working for something other than her writing, a part of her was excited.

“Should have said I loved you,” she thought out loud, then snapped her fingers and rushed across the hallway to his library.

Two years ago, she’d told him she’d loved him for the first time and received silence in return. In this very room, he’d watched her leave.

She stood in front of the giant bookcase, which he’d had installed a month after she’d officially moved in. Most of these books were from her collection. On a shelf in the middle stood three framed photos of them. Them in Paris. Them with their families on a vacation last summer. Them at her graduation.

She flipped each frame over to check the back, but none had what she was looking for. She tapped her foot impatiently on the carpet while assessing the rest of the bookcase. It didn’t take her too long to notice that one book was upside down.

P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern.

Of course. Of-fucking-course.

She rolled her eyes, feeling a smile stretching her lips as she took the book from the shelf and opened it to the first page. There was a post-it note that said:

Congrats, babe. You’ve found it. Next clue: Where the magic happens ;)

‘Where the magic happens.’ If it wasn’t sexual, the winky face had made sure that it was.

Could it be their bed? Nope. She'd slept there last night.

Could it be the first place they’d had sex?

Could the next clue be inside that car?

She jolted with a start and dashed out of the library, and as soon as she reached the stairs, she suddenly halted.

No. She didn’t remember which car they’d had sex in for the first time, and he’d got a whole collection of cars. It’d take forever to search every single one. That wasn’t the right answer.

Sighing, she stood on the first stair and contemplated the clue again.

They used to play Treasure Hunt when they were younger. There were usually at least five or six clues, and the first three should be easy.

Could it be her flat? Most of their ‘secret relationship’ had happened in her flat. It used to be their secret kingdom. Impenetrable. Disconnected to the outside world. They’d also had their second real kiss outside her door, and she still had until the end of this month before she must return the keys to the landlord.

She wasn’t sure, and she wasn’t going to drive all the way there just to find out she was wrong.

And so she decided to call him.

“Let me guess,” he said as soon as the beeping stopped. “You’re either super impatient or your fairy godmother appeared and helped you find all five clues.”

She rolled her eyes. “Third clue. Is it your car or my flat?”

“My car?” He sounded confused, which gave her the impression that she might have got it wrong.

Her cheeks burnt as she said, “We had sex for the first time in your car.”

“No, not my car, but damn, I should have thought of that.”

“So it’s my flat?”

“Are you sure you want to ask me now?”

“Yes.”

“Yes,” he smugly confirmed. “It’s your flat. Now you’re on your own until the final clue.”

“Fuck,” she grunted and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I thought you’d have trouble with this one, too. I mean, we fuck everywhere these days.”

“If my birthday present isn’t worth all this, we won’t be fucking ever again.”

He gasped at the threat, and she could picture him wearing that stupid crooked smile as he told her, “Good luck, kid. I believe in you.”

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She found the next clue on Thumper’s lap.

When she’d moved most of her furniture to Harry’s house, she’d forgotten to take the purple stuffed bunny with her. She held it under her arm and scrutinized the pink post-it note, which said:

I cannot believe you left Thumper behind. Third clue: Drunk little deer.

“Drunk little deer? What does that even mean?” Then she looked at Thumper. “Should I kick him in the balls when I see him?”

She made the rabbit nod and burst out laughing at how crazy she sounded. If anyone walked in and saw her talking to a stuffed animal, they would assume she was either crazy or drunk.

Drunk.

She was the drunk little deer. Drunk Bambi.

The answer was the place he'd seen her drunk for the first time.

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Andrew recognized Y/N right from the moment she stepped into the pub. He leaned over the counter and shouted for everyone to hear, “Little girl! Good to see you again!”

“Andrew," she smiled and shouldered her way towards the bar.

He eyed her up and down as she slid onto one of the stools. “You look different. I hope you’re not here to drink again. I might have to kick you out.”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “You look different, too. I like your new hair.”

Andrew rubbed his shiny bald head, scowling at her as she raised a smile and rested her chin on her knuckles. Andrew might look intimidating, especially now without his hair, but he was one of the softest people she’d ever met. He’d been so kind to her during her tough times and even let her haunt his pub day and night until Harry had come for the rescue.

“You’re kind of famous now, aren’t you?” Andrew said. “I’ve read your book. It didn’t suck.”

“You have?”

He lifted one giant shoulder of his, pursing his lips. “My wife made me. She's a big fan. Your boyfriend came two weeks ago and he even signed the book for her. He said he was the one in the story.”

“My boyfriend was here?”

Andrew gave a nod.

The voices in Y/N's head started cheering like she’d just won a wrestling match. It would have been so embarrassing if she'd asked Andrew first and then found out she'd got it wrong.

“Well, did he leave...something for me? A message perhaps?”

Andrew growled as he turned away, and without a word, disappeared through a stained curtain behind him. He came back five minutes later and handed her a green post-it note with an unreadable grimace on his face.

She snatched it immediately. A laugh crackled out of her as if he’d just given her gold.

Hi babe, you’re almost there! My biggest fans (not you) have the final clue. Get back to work.

“He gave this to me when he signed the book,” Andrew said.

Y/N mumbled the words over as she tried to figure them out. Her first guess for ‘biggest fans (not you)’was Gemma and Isaac. But then she got rid of the idea because they had to be at the same place at the same time in order for this to work, and Gem and Isaac were both at work.

Which two people were together right now and were also Harry’s biggest fans?

‘Get back to work.’

Yes. That’s it!

Y/N thrust the post-it note into her bag and rose from the stool. “I’m sorry. This must be weird to you.”

“It’s quite romantic, actually," Andrew said.

“Really?”

“And weird. You two are both weird. What a perfect couple.”

“Gee, thanks.”

As she spun on her heels, Andrew called after her, “Hey, little girl. I’m sorry I said you weren’t a real writer.”

“You said that?”

“You were drunk,” he chuckled. “Anyway, bring your weird boyfriend back sometimes.”

“I will. If there’s free beer.”

“Get out of here.” He shot his finger toward the door, but it was the first time she’d seen Andrew smile with his whole face.

.

.

.

Eddie’s bookshop was busy on most Sundays. Well, it had been busy almost every day since Y/N had credited him in her latest best-selling debut novel.

She entered the shop and was immediately recognized by a group of schoolgirls, who asked her to sign their new copies of her book and questioned her about the story. She recycled the same amiable answers that didn’t give away any more than what they might already know. Since she’d already got used to the attention, the fans didn’t intimidate her anymore.

She took a selfie with the girls and bid them goodbye. Then one of the new employees told her that Eddie and Alice were sorting books at the back. She wandered along aisles until she found them. Eddie was scolding Alice for putting hardcovers in between paperbacks. Nothing got on Eddie’s nerves as much as putting hardcovers in between paperbacks.

“The hardcovers take more shelf-space so you cannot put them there! God, Alice, were you drunk when you were sorting these books?”

“I wish I were drunk now,” Alice said, and her eyes lit up as she saw Y/N. She nearly tackled Y/N to the floor with a violent hug, and Y/N returned with half as much enthusiasm.

“You’re like a Golden Retriever,” Y/N said, pulling back and cupping her friend’s face.

“Happy birthday! I was gonna send you–”

Eddie didn’t wait for Alice to finish as he pushed her aside to step forward, his face brightened like the sun. “You’re here for the clue, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I–”

“We can’t just hand it to you.” That sun-like face suddenly turned serious. “You need a password. What is Harry’s favourite book?”

Y/N arched an eyebrow at Eddie as if expecting him to say ‘gotcha!’ But he only mirrored her expression as he crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for an answer.

“Seriously?” Y/N scoffed, looking at her two friends. “He’s that narcissistic?”

Alice smirked as she raised a shoulder. “Either you answer or search this entire bookshop yourself.”

“I fucking hate him and I fucking hate both of you.” Y/N rolled her eyes upward and exhaled sharply. “Norwegian Wood.”

“Huh?”

“That’s his favourite book,” she told Alice and remembered Alice didn’t read fiction unless it was compulsory. “Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami.”

Eddie looked confused. “He loves Haruki Murakami? His books are misogynistic.”

“Harry’s got a bad taste in authors. But judging from your reactions, I suppose that is not the correct answer, and I should probably break up with my boyfriend because I don’t know what his favourite book is.”

“You do, Y/N.” Alice beamed as she leaned a shoulder against the bookcase. “You’re thinking too big. It’s pretty simple.”

“Shit. Is it my book?” Y/N asked, then pinched the bridge of her nose as Eddie began to smile. “Goddamn it, he’s like my dad times ten.”

“What did your dad do?” Eddie asked.

“He bought a bunch of copies of my book and sent them to our relatives for Christmas. It was pretty embarrassing.”

“Aww.”

“ALICE!”

“Jesus Christ!” Alice covered her ears as she shot Eddie a glare. “I’m standing right next to you.”

“Go get the clue!” Eddie flicked his fingers at her. “Go! Hurry!”

Alice rolled her eyes and flipped him off as she backed out of the aisle. Eddie ignored her and turned back to Y/N, grinning from ear to ear like he was the birthday girl. “Are you excited?”

“Not as much as you are. That’s for sure,” Y/N said and made sure he knew she was joking by giving him a toothy grin.

“I’m not gonna tell you what the surprise is, you know.”

“I’m not asking.”

Eddie’s laugh was high as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “What I can tell you is that you’re gonna love it. Too bad I cannot be there to see your reaction.”

“Trust me,” she said. “You don’t wanna see me scold Harry through the phone.”

Alice returned with a copy of My Girl and handed it to Y/N with a smile that possibly meant, ‘You’re gonna love this’.

Suspicious and somewhat elated, Y/N opened the book to the dedication page.

To Mum, Dad, and the boy next door.

Those were her words. Below was his handwriting: Hi my love :)

Curious, she turned to the first chapter. This wasn’t just another copy of her book, of which she’d got all the different covers at home. With this one, Harry had done the same thing he’d done to her journal. His handwriting was scattered across the pages. He’d underlined all the quotes he’d enjoyed and left comments about them on the side.

Y/N heard Eddie say something about how he would never write in books and Alice immediately shush him for being rude. Y/N never wrote in books, either, but she loved reading Harry’s handwritten notes. It felt like he was reading the story with her. The butterflies in her stomach went wild just from imagining him taking his time writing on each page and grinning at his own jokes. If this was the birthday surprise, she could not ask for anything more.

However, she knew he had to be more extra than this.

And there it was. Proof that this was not the surprise. On the very last page, he wrote:

Meet me where the sky meets the earth.

“Where the sky meets the earth?” she thought out loud and glanced up at Eddie, who responded with a shrug. Alice did, too. Y/N didn’t think they were lying. Harry must have told them what the surprise was, but not the answers to these cryptic messages.

Eddie patted her on the back as he wished her good luck and shooed Alice back to the front to assist the customers. Y/N was left behind to work it out on her own. She leaned against the bookcase, pondering over the words.

Hadn’t Harry said she was allowed to call him when she reached the fifth clue?

She tucked the book under her arm and pulled out the phone from the pocket of her jeans.

“Hi, babe!”

“I’ve got the fifth clue,” she blurted. “What do I do now?”

“I don’t know. Solve it?”

“Yes, smartarse. The answer is, I don’t know.”

“You’re not even thinking.”

“You said you’d help me!”

“I said I’d help you once,” he countered. “And I did. I told you to call me just so I know when you’ve reached the final clue.”

“So you’re not gonna help me with this one?”

He was quiet for a moment. “Well, I can give you a hint. What do all the places you’ve visited today have in common?”

She chewed on her lip, an arm folded over her chest. “They’re memories,” she whispered.

“That’s right,” he whispered back, like they didn’t want anyone to overhear their conversation. “This last place is a memory as well. Where the sky meets the earth. Think, kid.”

She pouted. “Can I please get another hint?”

“You don’t get to talk in a cute voice and manipulate me, Bambi,” he sighed. “Fine. Our first date.”

“Holmes Chapel?!”

He said nothing and hung up.

It took Y/N a few seconds, but she believed she’d got the answer.

.

.

.

She took the lift and climbed four sets of stairs to the roof.

Adrenaline buzzed right through her, causing her hands to shake and her heart to pound against her ribcage. The metal was cold against her fingertips as she pawed the heavy door open slowly. It was unlocked.

The cold wind gushed in, blowing her hair out of her face as she stepped into the night. The city of London gleamed before her eyes. Where the sky meets the earth. This was where they could see stars high above and down below.

And there he was. Waiting for her with that smug crooked grin on his stupid face.

“Hi,” he said.

Oh, how she’d missed his stupid beautiful face.

She tucked her hands into the pockets of her jacket and ambled forward, still thinking him being here was too good to be true.

He lifted both hands like a surrendered criminal, both eyebrows raised as he said, “Before you get angry, I can explain.”

“Please do,” she demanded but found herself smiling.

With the wind in his hair, dimples on his cheeks and city light in his eyes, he looked absolutely breathtaking. She couldn’t hate him even if she tried.

Harry exhaled unsteadily through his mouth before mumbling, “Here I go,” and then he was on his knee in front of her.

She didn’t react when he took her cold hand and pressed it against his warm chest. She could feel his heart beating almost in sync with her own.

“Are you surprised?” he asked, chuckling nervously.

She exhaled a quiet laugh and said, “Yes, but also no.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Because I warned you this would happen?”

“Because you warned me this would happen.” Her mouth curved at the corner as she recalled the Oscar night in his LA house, both of them drunk, him on his knee like this, a promise, and how in love she’d felt, almost as much as she did in this very moment.

“Is this too early or too late?” he ventured.

“This is perfect.”

She pressed her lips into a smile, and his green eyes flickered in the semi-darkness. “Well then.” He straightened his back. “Y/N ‘Bambi’ Y/L/N.”

“Yes.” Her voice was so brittle she feared he wouldn’t hear it, her stomach twisted into triple knots, her chest fluttering and her fingers trembling.

He held her gaze as the corner of his mouth arched. “Will you…”

“I swear to God if you’re jok–”

“Marry me,” he blurted, panting as though saying those words had drained all the energy out of him. “Marry me. I want to annoy you for the rest of my life. I want every fight, every laugh, every up and down, every kiss, every touch, everything about you. I will love you until all my teeth fall out, until you finally learn to cook–”

“I’ll never learn to cook.”

“I know,” he chuckled. “Most importantly, I’ll even let you love young Leo a bit more than me, but only sometimes.”

She covered her mouth. What meant to be a laugh came out as a sob.

“I would have written a speech, but I figured you’d roast me for my bad writing, so I’d rather improvise and blame this awful proposal on it being improvised.”

“God, you’re fucking annoying,” she laughed tearily into her hand and he was laughing, too.

Quickly, he got to his feet and tugged her into him. She circled her arms around his waist, her face buried into his chest as she inhaled the scent she’d missed achingly in the last two weeks.

“My girl is such a crybaby,” he said, kissing the top of her head, her temple, her ear, her cheek, her forehead. He kissed and held her until she’d calmed down.

“Yes,” she told him at last, lifting her eyes up to his.

“Yes, you’re a crybaby?”

“Yes, you’re a dumbarse and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life roasting you and yes, I’ll sometimes love young Leo more than you but only sometimes, because you’re the greatest love of my life and I cannot imagine a life without you–”

He stopped her with his lips, his hands tenderly cupping her face as his thumbs moved slowly over her chin, cheeks and jawlines. She’d imagined that their first kiss after two weeks apart would be sexually aggressive and against-the-wall hot, but this kiss was slow and sensual and passionate and full of wanting. It felt like his promise for their future together. One that would last.

[mayibeyoursbanks]

Can you do a fic with JJ and y/n to the song Summer Love by One Direction because y/n went to the Obx just for the summer but they find a way for the group to be together at the end of the summer while y/n goes back to her house? Lol it’s a lot sorry.

I’m so sorry this literally took forever for me to get to- I accidentally deleted everything halfway through writing it😔

But it’s here now! It kinda took its own path but I hope you like it!!!

“Summer Love”

———————————————————————

Memories of the past two months flooded through your mind as you stuffed your suitcase with all of your belongings. It felt as though every T-shirt, swim suit, piece of jewelry, had a different memory attached to it.

You reached for the woven bracelet on your dresser, thinking of the day you first got it.

“Close your eyes babes. We have a present for you,” said Kie. You shook your head, but complied anyway.

“A present? You guys didn’t have to give me anything. You just met me what? Three weeks ago?”

“Don’t be silly. It’s your birthday, of course we got you something. Besides, it’s not even that huge of a deal,” you hear Sarah say from your other side.

You feel something lightweight fall into your outstretched hand and feel the rough, woven texture between your fingers. You smile as you open your eyes to look down at the handmade bracelet. It was made of three colors- yellow, pink, and orange -all intricately interwoven to make a perfectly wrist sized band.

“A friendship bracelet? Just like bit of yours?”

“Well, not just like ours. We made new ones to match.” Sarah held up her wrist to flash a bracelet identical to the one in your hand, and Kie did the same.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you.” Your eyes watered with tears.

“You may not be in the Outer Banks forever, but you will always be apart of our lives, Y/N. I hope you know that”

You smiled to yourself as you tugged the bracelet onto your wrist and reached for the baseball hat that was placed next to it.

It was a scorching hot day, and the sun beat down on you and Pope as you rode Heyward’s boat back across the island. You had volunteered to help him make deliveries to the Figure 8, but under this sun, you were regretting the decision to pass on surfing with the girls.

“Thanks for helping me out again Y/N/N. These deliveries would have taken me all day to do alone.”

“Anytime Heyward. But maybe the next time you need a hand, you could tell me to bring a hat? Or even some sunglasses?” You said this jokingly, but Pope must have noticed your red, sun-kissed face and how you squinted up at him to talk, because then he moved to remove his iconic “Pong” hat and put it on your head, tugging it into place. You smiled gratefully at him, and went back to counting the tips from the day.

When Pope pulled the boat up to the dock, you went to return his hat to him, but he held his hand out.

“Keep it. It looks ten times better on you anyway.” You did a fake gasp and placed your hand in your chest.

“Is this your final gift to me Pope? A memento to remember you by when I finally return to the horrors of the mainland?” Pope just chuckled.

“Well I can’t let you go forgetting me now. Gotta compete with the others. Well except for JJ, he obviously has a spot secured in your heart.” You felt your cheeks blush furiously.

“What is that supposed to mean Heyward?”

“Come on Y/N/N. You guys have acted like an old married couple since we first met you at The Wreck. Even John B can see it.” You looked down at the groceries swinging in your hand as you walked up the dock next to Pope.

“Is it that obvious?”

“As obvious as the capital of Russia.”

You smirked to yourself at the reoccurring memory of yours and Pope’s favorite inside joke, and gently set the hat on the top of the bag.

Then you saw the worn book that was laying under then hat on your dresser, and picked it up to flip through the pages.

You were wondering around the Chateau while you waited for John B to find the keys to the Twinkie. The two of you were supposed to pick up the rest of the Pogues for a drive around the island, but the absent-minded boy had somehow misplaced the most important part of that plan.

As you walked down the hallway, you stopped at a door you recognized as Big John’s office. You had never gone in here because while John B was very open to talking about his dad with you, you had only known him for a month and a half. Going in felt like an overstep before.

You slowly creaked the door open though, and we’re greeted by stacks of books and piles of maps. There was a model ship in one corner, and glove across from it, with a desk covered in even more maps and books in the center of the room.

You walked to the desk and scanned the stacks of books, eyes landing on a light blue book that looked well read. As you picked it up, you ran your fingers over the embossed lettering.

“Searching for the Merchant,” you whispered to yourself. You opened the book with a crap and started fingering through the pages.

“That was his favorite book in this whole office.” You jumper at the familiar sound of your friends voice and slammed the book closed. You were about to apologize to John B but the boy stopped you.

“It’s ok. I come in here all the time.”

“Do you feel closer to him? When you’re in here?”

“In some ways. In others I feel farther than ever.” You watched John B as he stared down the model ship in the corner.

“I never met him, but just from being in here I can tell he was a good man.” A small smile appeared on John B’s face.

“And a good dad.”

“That he was, Y/N/N. That he was.” The two of you stood in silence for a little longer before the boy spoke up again.

“Why don’t you keep that book? You might enjoy it.” You rapidly shook your head.

“John B, I could never. All this stuff is yours to enjoy.”

“Look around Y/N. I obviously have plenty of things to go through when I miss him. Besides, I already had my great adventure. Maybe that book will inspire you to find yours.” You smiled big at your friend, the Pogues’ treasure hunt was the first story they had told you when you hung out at the Chateau for the first time, and you had always craved to have your own similar escapade, minus the life-threatening pirates.

You gently closed the book and tucked it into the side of your suitcase, thinking about the adventure you had this summer with your new best friends. Zipping your the suit case, you tugged it off your bare bed and began to pull it towards your bedroom door. You stopped suddenly at the sight of a long necklace hanging from a nail next to the door. Your treasured shark tooth necklace.

You barely noticed the dock shift under the weight of someone sitting next you, and you didn’t even bother to look up. You know exactly who it was.

“Are you really leaving at the end of the week?”

“I have to JJ. My parents want to go back to the mainland early, and even though I’m 18, I’m definitely not financially independent enough to stay here.”

“Screw money. We’ll find a way. You can stay with Kie. Or Sarah. Or Pope. Or heck, even John B.” You shook your head, trying not to cry.

“This is why I was afraid to tell you guys. I knew there was no getting out of me going home, and now it’s all you guys will focus on.”

“Can you blame us? You became one of our best friends, my best friend, in less than 24 hours. How do you expect us to let you go without a fight.”

“There’s nothing you can do this time JJ, not even the people that uncovered the Royal Merchant.”

“But wha-“ You placed your hand on his knee to signal him to stop talking.

“JJ, can we please not talk about this right now. I may not have as long as I thought, but I want to spend the time I do have making memories. Not wallowing I’m self-pity.” JJ grabbed your hand in his and brought it to his mouth to gently kiss it. He held it to his mouth for a while, and you looked over to him for the first time during this entire conversation. You shifted to face him, and with your free hand you reached for the shark tooth dangling around his neck.

“Now where in the world does a boy like you get a piece like this?” You said, mimicking the very first question you ever asked the boy. JJ chuckled and met your eyes.

“On a great adventure. One with pirates, and gold, and a giant storm. Almost didn’t make it out, but I found this tooth lingering in my battle wounds after I washed up on the sand,” JJ replied in his rip-off Pirates if the Caribbean accent.

“Oh? And what has this tough-as-bones pirate prince been doing since then? Plenty of damsels in distress I assume?” JJ smirked.

“Hundreds. But only one of them has really caught my heart.”

“And what of her? What adventures has she gone on?”

“None yet. But I’m hoping to change that.”

“Ah, a lucky lady she is.”

“Yes, you are.” Your smile faltered. You and JJ had grown very close this past summer, and had even shared an almost-kiss at one time. But you both knew it was pointless trying to explore that, what with you leaving in less than a month.

“JJ?” The boy in front of you smiled and grabbed both of your hands, placing them in his lap so he could hold your face with his.

“You were mine this summer Y/N. And I was yours. Don’t take that away from me, not quite yet.” You nodded, tears threatening to trickle down your cheeks.

“We can’t last long JJ. We’ve both known that for a while.” JJ just shook his head and stared into your eyes even more intensely.

“Y/N. Can I kiss you?”

“Please,” you whispered. And it didn’t take another second for JJ to press his lips to yours, and like two perfect harmonies you both moved to close any remaining space in between your bodies, all while you tugged at each other’s lips, hungry to make up for all the chances to do this you took for granted the past two months.

When you two finally broke apart, you rested your forehead against his and smiled when he slid his necklace over his head and onto your neck. You reached up to the tooth and held it in between your fingers, and closed your eyes.

You quickly wiped the tears from your eyes and grabbed the necklace, only to stuff it in your back pocket. Wearing it would only remind you about your summer love, but you couldn’t bare to part with it.

Stepping out of your house, you met your dad who grabbed you suitcase from you to put it in the car. He gave you a sympathetic smile while your mom grabbed your shoulder and squeezed past you in the doorway.

Then you heard the familiar growl of a motorbike, and looked down the road to find none other than JJ and Sarah quickly approaching your house. You walked towards them, but you didn’t make it far before Sarah all but tackled you in a bear hug.

“I almost thought you guys were going to let me leave without saying goodbye.”

“We’re not. Letting you leave, that is.”

“Sarah, I don’t have a choice. I can’t afford to live on my own, and my parents have to go back. There’s no way.”

“What if I told you there was.” The look on Sarah’s face was full of determination.

“What do you mean?” Instead of explaining her antics to you, she grabbed your wrist and pulled you toward your parents.

“Mr. Y/L/N. Mrs. Y/L/N. Your daughter can not leave the Outer Banks. She’s official Pogue property now.” You just shook your head at your best friend, but let her talk.

“But I understand you two need to go back to those forsaken mainlands, so I have a proposition. As you know, my embarrassment of a brother has just gone off to Ohio for...well, I guess you can call it school. He won’t be returning for at least 4 years, and Wheezie and I can’t bare the empty room for that long. However, we’re willing to let Y/N here move in with us, free of charge. And as for the financial independence, the Carreras have a new opening at the Wreck, and I think it would be a good way for Y/N to make some money of her own. I think 4 years is sufficient time to get on her own feet, don’t you think?”

You looked at Sarah in absolute wonder, and when your parents turned their eyes to you, you met them with a determined glare.

“Mom. Dad. You know how much I love it here. You guys said it yourselves every day, I belong here. And I’ve made the best friends I could ever ask for, and I’m more happy than I ever was on the mainland. I’m 18, and this is an opportunity to prove to you that I’m ready to make my own life.”

You’re parents looked at each other, having not said a word this whole time. Your mom was the first to break.

“Well, it is only a 2 hour ferry ride. And I trust the Cameron’s. And your friends.” Your dad smiled at you and chuckled to himself.

“That’s my girl. Of course you can stay.” You gaped at your parents.

“Wait, really?!?! That worked?”

“It may not be the most stable option, but you’re right, you belong here. And being able to stand up and tell us that proves to us that you’re an adult now.”

You’re mom nodded her head in a direction behind you before she spoke, “Besides, it looks like you may be in a good hands here.” You spun around to find JJ, shyly holding his helmet and looking up at you with a small smile. You broke from Sarah’s grip and ran to him, jumping in his arms and pulling your legs around his waist.

JJ held you tightly and spun you around, laughing with you. When he came to a stop, you pulled away to look at him.

“So, what’s our first adventure, my pirate prince?”

“Well, I was thinking...nothing that involves hidden treasure or getting shot at?”

“And what do you propose instead?”

“How about something with sharks?” You heard your dad cough from behind you, and looked to see his eyebrows raised questioningly.

“With secure cages of course.” JJ added nervously.

“Sounds perfect. When do we start?”

“Right now.”

———————————————————————

Tags: @tangledinsparkles @the-crackhead-next-door @pankows-girl @howdyherron @poguemacking @dpaccione

[wontlastimokwiththat]

Witches Mates-Chapter 3

Chapter 3 of Witches Mates is here! I hope you guys like it!

Warnings: None

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6

After meditating for about a hour, I went to my room. Snow was perched on the chest at the foot of my bed, staring at me with her big green eyes. 

 "What?" I asked her. Because she's a familiar, she can talk. I can chose who can hear her, though, so mundanes don't randomly hear a cat talking. 

 "Those were vampires," she said. "It tried to pet me." 

 "That was Ashton," I told her. "And you need to be nice to the vampires and the hybrid. They aren't going to hurt me or you." I patted the top of her head.

 "Why are they here?" she asked.

 "They're Liam's friends and we trust him. Plus, they're my mates." 

 "All four of them?" 

 "Yes, I know. Snow, I can't help it and they can't either." I sat down on my bed and she turned to look at me from her spot on the chest. 

 "How long will they be here?" 

 "Liam and his pack are here for two more days. I don't know about the others but they're welcome to stay as long as they'd like." She glared at me but said nothing. "Hey, did you see who blew out my candles?"

"I did but I don't know who he was," she told me. She paused for a minute. "Jonathan left that." She lifted her paw and pointed in the direction of my desk. I stood up and walked over my desk, picking up the book that had a red ribbon tied around it with a note. After lighting the candle on my desk with my magic, I read the note that was written in his hand writing:

For my daughter, 

Though I can't support your path, I know every new witch needs her own grimoire. You're as powerful as you are smart so I know you'll find a way to fix the unbalance of our world. Happy 21st birthday, Mystia Firelight. 

All my love, Dad

"How did he know the name I chose?" I mumbled to myself as I pulled the ribbon off and looked at the black, worn-leather bound book. On the front cover, engraved in gold, was the Firelight family crest and, under it, my witch name. I opened it to find the pages were made of old parchment paper with ragged edges. I sat down at my desk and picked up my pen. On the first page, I wrote this:

Mystia Firelight 

Daughter of Constance Firelight, the head of the New Orleans coven and Witches Council, and Jonathan Moore, a rouge vampire 

Born on All Hallow's Eve in 1998 at exactly 5 P.M. 

Familiar: White cat with green eyes; Snow 

Mastery of the elements: 

Fire- Age 7 

Water- Age 8 

Air- Age 8 

Earth- Age 8 

Spirit- Age 9

On the back of that page and the front and back of the next two pages, I wrote down descriptions of the 5 elements and drew pictures. On the next ten or so pages front and back, I wrote down the uses of different herbs with the proper ways to use them and drew pictures of them. On the next 35 pages front and back, I wrote the 70 spells and potions I had created over the years with their ingredients, uses, and side effects. 

When I looked at the clock, it was almost 5:30 A.M. I looked back at the grimoire to see I had no pages left to write on.

 "Been a full witch for twelve hours and I have a full grimoire," I said, looking at Snow, who had jumped on the desk and was watching me closely. 

 "That's great but you should sleep," she told me. 

 "You're right," I nodded. I blew out the candle and stood up. I grabbed my grimoire and walked over to my chest, unlocking it and putting the grimoire in before locking it back. I yawned, climbing into my bed and falling asleep quickly. 

**** 

I rolled over in my bed and felt air blow on me. I opened my eyes to be met by a huge wolf. It took me a minute to register that it wasn't Liam or his pack. I squealed like a little girl as I fought to get out of bed of the other side. The wolf ran to the other side of my room as I raised my hands, about to light it's furry ass on fire. Just as I opened my mouth to start a spell, Ashton ran into my room. I locked my eyes on him, lowering my hands. 

 "J, it's okay. It's just Luke," Ashton told me. 

 "He about gave me a heart attack," I said, pulling my eyes from Ashton to look at the wolf with sandy blonde fur. "Give me a heads up next time you want to cuddle." Ashton smiled and the wolf squinted his bright blue eyes. I heard a cat meow and turned to see Snow perched on my desk behind me. "It's fine, Snow. Some dogs just need to learn manners." Ashton laughed as the wolf let out what sounded like a sigh before trotting out of my room. 

"Is that who you were talking to last night?" Ashton asked, looking at Snow. 

"I talk to Snow all the time," I nodded, walking to her and picking her up. 

"Sounded like the two of you were having a conversation," he said. 

"We were," Snow said, though Ashton only heard a meow. 

 "We were," I told him. "Snow understands me and I understand her." 

"Like Damien and Annette with their Pitbulls?" Ashton asked. 

 "You met Joker and Harleen?" I smiled. He nodded. 

"How long have Damien and Annette been together?" he quizzed as Snow jumped out of my arms. 

 "Forever." Literally, they're mates. Yes, witches can have mates that are other witches, it's just really rare. "Our parents are all really good friends. Damien and Annette have been a thing since before they were a thing." 

"Must be nice to have met their person so early in life," Ashton said. 

"How old are you?" I asked, tilting my head slightly. 

"If I told you, you'd freak out," he told me. 

"Try me," I smiled. 

"One hundred and fifty-two," he admitted. 

"How old were you when you were turned?" 

"Twenty-two." 

"You didn't even get to live," I mumbled. 

"Michael lived as a human the longest. Luke, the shortest." 

"How old?" 

"Michael was twenty-three, Calum was twenty-two, and Luke was twenty." I felt a white hot rage shoot through my body. None of them had experienced life a mundane, not that I had but at least I could enjoy walks in the park without wanting to drain every human of blood. "We've accepted it, J. Michael's one hundred and thirty-six and Calum's one hundred and eighteen." 

"And Luke?" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer. 

"He's twenty-three," he told me. "And he had it the worst. His first time feeding, he triggered the werewolf curse by killing a mundane." 

"Liam and his pack voluntarily triggered theirs. Why didn't Luke?" 

"Liam and his pack help with the Witches Council. As soon as they turn thirteen, they have to kill a rouge. It's not voluntary, they're forced. If they don't, they're killed." Okay, that's news to me. Liam had said they chose to and my mom had never said anything about forcing wolves to trigger their curse. 

"Why?" 

"Not sure," he shrugged. "It's just how it is. It would've been better for Luke if he was forced." 

"Why do you say that?" 

"He had to learn to control his thirst and his shifting at the same time. He was in hell when we found him a year ago and he still isn't completely in control of either. Now, he's freaking out about this whole mate thing, which is what triggered the change earlier." 

"Stress?" He nodded. "Is there anyway I can help?" Ashton smiled a sad smile. 

"No one can. We don't know what to do." 

"Oh." I paused, trying to think. "Hey, I'm gonna change and I'll meet you downstairs, okay?" 

"Yeah," he nodded before walking out and closing the door behind him. I quickly unlocked my chest and dug through my families old grimoires. I finally found the one of my grandmother's she had dedicated completely to werewolves. I flipped through the pages until I found what I was looking for. I quickly wrote down the ingredients and spell before putting them all back in the chest. I left mine sitting on my bed, thinking it would be okay there. 

I pulled on black high waisted jean shorts, a red cropped tank top, and a pair of red sneakers. I brushed my hair into a neat ponytail and shoved the list I had made in my back pocket before running downstairs. I found Calum, Michael, Ashton, and Luke sitting in the kitchen. 

"Where is everyone?" I asked, grabbing an ice cream sandwich from the freezer and turning to face them. Snow was standing on the island in front of Luke, staring at him. 

"Just left for food," Michael told me as I unwrapped my ice cream sandwich and took a bite. 

"Where are you going?" "I left something at the shop last night so I'm gonna run and get it. Shouldn't be long," I told him. "Snow, stop staring." Snow turned to look at me and meowed loudly. Well, they heard a meow. I heard: 

"That is the dog." 

"Are you eating an ice cream sandwich for lunch?" Calum asked. 

"High metobolism. I could eat an entire pizza and wouldn't gain a pound," I grinned. "Joker, Harleen, I'm leaving!" The blue nose and red nose Pitbulls came running into the kitchen and Snow jumped on my shoulder. 

"We're coming," Harleen told me but I knew the others only heard a bark. 

"Are you taking all the animals?" Michael asked. 

"No. I don't take, they just come," I told him. "They like being at the shop. Snow was there yesterday but you never saw her. Joker and Harleen are there whenever Damien and Annette are there." 

"They live here, don't they?" Ashton asked. 

"Hell no!" I exclaimed. "They're place is being remodeled and should actually be done tomorrow. I live here alone and living with Damien and Annette the past few weeks has been awful. Trust me, you don't need supernatural hearing to know what they're doing." I shuttered and they all laughed. Well, Luke didn't laugh but he did smile slightly. 

"How do you afford this place?" Calum asked. "I mean, it's a mansion." 

"It was my great great grandmother's. It's been passed down and my mom didn't want it so I got it. The shop pays well enough that I can afford it easy." Calum nodded. "Alright, we'll be back."

[stephaniesramblings]

My relationship with sports/athletics has always been an interesting one. Competitiveness runs in my blood. I get it from my Dad. He had two stories he would tell about himself and sports. 1 was how angry his Dad got when he was in high school and the coach didn’t put him in as point guard in the state championship. They lost. The other was how when he was in little league his coach told him to crouch down so he would get walked every at-bat. Yes, my Dad was a short guy. In basketball they called him “Mouse”. He had a lot of spunk. He was scrappy and he could get heated when he was in the midst of battling on the basketball court, or in any other sport he played.

Well, I think I get it from him. As a kiddo, my greatest sporting accomplishments were:

1st grade field day, I earned 1st place in the sprint. I was always proud of this, but became even more proud when I was in my early 20’s. I received a message on FB from a guy I had gone to school with. He had done track in college and took it upon himself to message and tell me that I was the only girl that ever beat him in a race. I guess I should have been offended, but I wasn’t.

The other was my short-lived soccer career. I think I was about 7. I had never played soccer before. How hard could it be? During the try-out I won yet another sprint. So, I made the team. I would pick it up as I went along, right? Well, I was able to get the ball just fine and I could kick it SO far. The only issue was that everytime I kicked it with all my might, it went out of bounds. To the point where I was put in goal, or told to hang down by our net and get the ball away from the other team. Hopefully with all that field in front of me I could just kick it to the coach’s son. It went ok.

When I got to middle school, I tried again. I signed up to play basketball. The school I was at was a small private school, so the girl’s team went from 6-12 grade. I was a benchwarmer being in 6th grade and having little to no skill. It had its ups and downs. One of the first and maybe only times I was put in the game, I got so flustered, I shot on the other team’s net. The entire place was yelling “NOOOOO!”. It didn’t go in luckily, but I was on the bench for a while after that. The times that I felt like I contributed were always on the defensive side of things. I was scrappy like my Dad. I could steal the ball. I angered some of the girls on the other team. Even one time having a girl yell at the ref when I stole the ball from her. A foul was not called, and I let her know about it. It should be noted, Dad always came to watch me and to cheer me on. Even though I mostly rode the bench. He loved it, and of course thought my coach should have put me in more too.

Well, that was kind of the end of it when it came to me and sports. I played a little basketball and floor hockey with the youth group, but never really felt very good at it.

So it was kind of surprising when I was 29, I was working in a lab and two of my coworkers started talking to me about roller derby. As with a lot of derby player’s stories, I saw Whip It, and thought it looked awesome. I wondered if that sort of thing existed, but I didn’t pursue it. My coworkers “Kenya Diggit” and “HK” (I don’t remember what it stood for) would tell me how great it was and how it is quite a commitment. It was not just a sport. I am glad they warned me! I think in my head I considered a sports league like a bowling league or something. Pay your dues, show up on whatever night. Not derby. Other than feeling very down on myself and wanting to get some exercise, I had no other reason to do this. I had tried skating at a few birthday parties at Roller Kingdom growing up. I would switch between skates and blades and usually ended up on the rollerblades, but barely keeping myself up. Why would I do this? Well, I needed something. And they told me that they teach you everything. You just need to get the gear and show up. So I got myself to the skate shop, spent a LOT (to me) of money on all the gear, and figured if I do this, I won’t quit! This proved to be true. I showed up for the 1st night petrified. My friend who still skated, Kenya was a vet, and they were in a different area. I had to put myself out there. I am not a social butterfly, so this was more than just putting myself out there athletically. I had to talk to strangers! I had to try something I knew I would be terrible at, and all the while not knowing how everyone else around me would do. Well, it was a mixed bag. The overriding factor though was that we were all supporting each other at whatever level we were. We encouraged and cheered for each other when we got the thing we kept failing at over and over. I cried over this journey. I thought I would never get crossovers (still wish mine were better) and that I would never be able to transition, therefore I would never pass assessments and never make a team. I didn’t give up though. I don’t know how or why I didn’t, but I didn’t. At some point as I was progressing I watched the sport I was learning to play. Go figure. It only took me almost a year to check it out, but it changed the way I saw everything. I saw the strategy in it. I saw the reason each and every skill was important. It lit a fire in me to keep trying, and to play to my strengths. I never gave up on making my skills better, but they will never be perfect. I accepted myself though and felt pride for where I found myself. And yes, the Morrison competitiveness came out. I was and am a bully on the track. I still like to ruffle my opponent’s feathers. My brain is still geared toward defense. I found though, that I had confidence for maybe the 1st time ever in a sport. It changed me. I found myself on the travel team and going to tournaments. The bond with my teammates just got stronger. From the ones that watched my progression and trained me that were now my teammates, to the people I walked in with on that 1st night, we had a history and we celebrated each other getting it. We had highs and lows too, but we kept showing up and working to be better.

My mom told me the other day that the biggest change she has seen in me has been since roller derby. I love my mom. She always encourages me and tells me awesome I am. How I should be proud of what I've accomplished. It’s so funny to me that she said that because I’ve gone through career changes, marriage, separation, moves, family illness, divorce, you think those things must change you, and I’m sure they did. How funny though that something as silly as a sport or a league could literally give you the confidence to make decisions in your personal life that help you grow. To feel like you matter and you are strong enough to get through whatever obstacle is in front of you. There were nights I dragged myself to practice crying the entire way because of everything going on in my life. I would leave there feeling like I left the weight of the world inside Roll On America.

My Dad was so proud of me because of roller derby. He would always talk about it even in the last few months that I had with him at home. “When are you going up to Maine to play?” My big brother also came to a game the last season before the pandemic. I won MVP that game. I think he had tears in his eyes after. He was so proud of me too. I cried after he left in front of all my league mates that were there. I got all the derby hugs 💚. The beautiful thing is that you don't even need to tell your team what you're going though. They just know how to be supportive in all the little ways. I'm so thankful for these last 8 years and I'm not quitting anytime soon.

Roller derby saved my life.

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

[embeanwrites]

Finding Home Gavin Reed x Reader

Chapter 8

Masterlist

We pulled back into dad’s house. Walking back inside I immediately noticed Sumo was laying down with the old blanket dad was talking about earlier. He perked up the moment we walked in and started wagging his tail.

“He kept crying after you left, he’s a big softie.” My dad said through a mouthful of noodles. I smiled and walked over to pet Sumo and gave him a kiss on the top of his head.

“I’m not going anywhere, Sumo.” I said softly into his fur. I looked at the blanket. It was a faded blue and a lot smaller than I remembered it. Or maybe I was just a lot smaller in my memories with it. Sumo had chewed a few holes in it from carrying it around. After all these years, he hadn’t forgotten about me. I wondered if my dad ever took the blanket and thought about me. I sat next to my dad on the couch, grabbing a pair of chopsticks and stealing the container of noodles from him.

“Hey!” He yelled through a mouthful of food. I smiled.

“So, what are we watching?”

“You’re the guest, you pick.”

“Hmmm…Connor have you seen the original Muppet movie?” My dad laughed.

“That movie is older than me, (Y/n)!”

“I have not seen anything about ‘Muppets’.” Connor responded sitting down on the floor with Sumo. It was interesting, even though there was plenty of room on the couch he still chose to sit on the floor with Sumo.

“Then that’s what we’re watching. Everyone needs to watch the Muppets. If I could find a way to show it in my class, I totally would. Hey! Connor you could analyze it and see if there’s any way I could connect it to humans and androids or sociology!”

“Oh, your students must love having to watch old movies.” My dad snorted.

“Hey! I showed my class at (dream/school) ‘The Iron Giant’ and they loved it!”

“How on earth did you connect that?”

“Dad, it’s about a giant robot and people immediately assuming he was going to kill everyone, and, in the end, he was the hero. It’s literally perfect.” I laughed, grabbing the remote from the table and found the movie. I took my phone out of my pocket and placed it face down, so I wouldn’t get distracted. Clicking play I snuggled into the couch and continued eating.

“I'm Statler.

I'm Waldorf.

We're here to heckle

The Muppet Movie.”

“Why are some puppets and others human?” Connor asked, I looked over at him. He once again had tilted his head.

“They’re Muppets, Connor. And I wouldn’t question it too much, in the next movie they say a bear and a frog are twin brothers.” He furrowed his brow and kept his eyes intently on the movie.

As the movie went on, I couldn’t help but hum along to the songs. Muppets always felt like home. When I was younger, me, dad, and mom had a Muppet movie marathon on my birthday. I don’t remember much about what else we did, but I remember watching the movie and laughing with them. It was right before they got divorced. It was the last happy memory of all three of us I had.

Through the corner of my eye, I watched my dad move his foot to the music and laugh at the funny parts. I wondered if he remembered the last time we watched this together. I wondered if he ever watched them with Cole.

When the movie ended, I got up and stretched. Looking at the clock, I noticed it was only 7 pm.

“I’m going to change into my pajamas.” I said while picking up my backpack. “What room should I use?”

“You can use mine, it’s the one at the end of the hallway.” Connor said. I nodded and walked in.

The room had sparse decorations, which wasn’t too surprising. I could tell by what was on the walls that this must have been Cole’s room. I changed into sweatpants and a giant t-shirt, putting my dirty clothes in the bottom of my bag. I walked back out to find Connor putting a leash on Sumo and my dad cleaning up from dinner.

“Dang, Connor. If you had told me you were going to go walk Sumo I would’ve waited to change, so I could go with you!”

“I’m just taking him out for a couple of minutes. I will let you know the next time I plan on walking him. Come on, Sumo.” I smiled and walked over to my dad.

“Gun to my head, if you were to ask me if Hank Anderson would ever let an android live with him, I would say no way in a heartbeat.” My dad chuckled.

“Before Connor, I would’ve agreed.”

“What changed?”

“When we were hunting deviants, it was clear that they all just…wanted to be free. There were two girls that seemed to be truly in love. Connor’s mission was to bring in the deviants, but he had a gun trained on them and he let them go. I guess I just realized that humans and androids aren’t that much different.” I nodded as I kept my eyes on the front door.

“If you had read my articles you would’ve learned that sooner.” I said with a laugh.

“How did you know so early on?” I shuffled uncomfortably.

“I’m not really sure. It wasn’t one moment that made me realize. In undergrad I took a lot of sociology and history classes and I just kept seeing the same issues repeating over and over again. Humans have always had an “us vs them” mentality, so it was just the same thing we’ve seen since the earliest civilization.” My dad hummed.

“I don’t know how you got so smart. You certainly didn’t get that from me.” I laughed.

“I studied really hard and never stopped. Going into college I didn’t even know I was going to go to grad school and get my PhD. I just started learning and I never wanted to stop. Especially after I read about how some androids were being treated. I wanted to make a difference.” I sighed. “I’d like to think I’ve gotten most of my students outside their comfort zones and got them to accept androids as free beings, but I have a feeling that may be harder in Detroit.”

“Well, I’ve never seen you teach, but just by that statement I can tell you really care. Your students will see that too and that’ll get them to listen. There’s a reason everyone hates math, no one could be passionate about that.” I laughed. Connor walked back in with Sumo. The moment he unhooked his leash he came bounding over to me. “Man, he’s going to attack you every time he sees you.” I got on my knees and started petting him.

“Good, because I’ve missed him.” I scratched behind his ear and he thumbed his back leg. I got up and walked back over to the couch and stretched my legs out. Sumo followed me and laid down on the floor next to me, I reached over and grabbed my phone off the table. I checked my messages. A couple from friends back home. I bit my lip, debating if I should text Gavin. In the end I decided I had bothered him enough for one day.

“(Y/n), when did you want to go walk the rescue dogs?” Connor asked sitting next to my feet on the couch.

“Do you work tomorrow?”

“He doesn’t, but I have too.” My dad grunted coming back to the living room.

“Why?” My dad shook his head.

“Captain Fowler is having the Lieutenant take some refresher classes and some of the detectives are getting together to discuss how android crime cases should be handled from now on.”  I sat up.

“Is it an open meeting?” I asked my dad quickly.

“Not that I know of.” He answered.

“Hm…ask the Captain if I could possibly assist you guys with that. I know I’m not a police officer, but I understand a lot about androids and humans. I even minored in forensics in undergrad, but that was a while ago.”

“I’ll ask him, I think it’s a good idea. It wouldn’t hurt to get more opinions on how to handle it. The government is sure taking their sweet time coming up with laws covering everything.” I nodded in agreement. “Well, I’m gonna head to bed, read your book a little before sleeping. See you guys tomorrow.”

“Good night!” Me and Connor said at the same time. My dad kept walking and waved a little before going to his room and shutting the door. Still sitting up I looked at Connor. His LED was blue and looking at my backpack.

“I brought a scrapbook if you’d like me to show it to you.” I said gently, grabbing my bag.

“Will it cause you more emotional distress to look at it tonight?” He asked softly, causing me to laugh.

“No, Connor. This is filled with good memories.” I got the book out and moved closer to him, so the book sat on both of our legs. “This is me with my freshman orientation group. I was so scared that day. The campus felt so much bigger when I started living on it, but over time it felt smaller.” I kept flipping the pages stopping to explain some pictures.

“That is Officer Chen.” Connor said pointing to an old picture of me and Tina painting each other’s toenails. I smiled.

“Me and Tina have been friends for a long time, before she went to the police academy, she would come to my dorm room to crash.” I grabbed my phone and snapped a picture and sent it to Tina.

 Look at these babies!

 “Officer Chen is on duty right now. She may not respond right away.” I sat my phone down.

“I know, but she’ll see it eventually.” I flipped a couple more pages. There were pictures of graduation and friends.

“Who’s that?” Connor asked pointing to a picture of me with a KL900.

“Oh, during my research I interviewed some androids. She was designed for social work. It’s been so long, but I think her name is Lucy.” Connor’s LED flashed yellow.

“She died during the revolution.” I looked intently at the picture, remembering how kind she was.

“She was a really good person.” I clenched the book a little tighter. “I wish I could have done more during the revolution. I helped a couple of androids, but if I had been in Detroit maybe I could’ve done more.” Connor awkwardly patted my shoulder.

“You were safer outside of the city. Hank would be upset if you had gotten hurt.” I nodded, closing the book.

“Could we look at the rest some other time? There’s a few more androids and I’m not sure if I’m ready to hear about their fate.”

“Of course. Are you going to bed?” I looked at my phone.

“Nah, it’s only 8. If I sleep now, I’ll mess up my sleep schedule even more and wake up at like 4 am. What do you want to do?”

“Would you like to watch the second Muppets movie?” I smiled.

“So, you liked the movie?” Connor smiled back.

“It was interesting. I enjoyed the fact that they knew it was a movie.”

“Well, the next one is ‘The Great Caper’, but that one’s probably my least favorite.”

“Is it essential to watch them in order?” Connor asked, tilting his head.

“God no, they’re a mess. Some of the ones that were made later have an order, but for the most part you can watch them in any order.”

“You can pick which one next.” I smiled widely.

“’The Muppets take Manhattan’, it is then!” I found the movie on the tv but waited to press play. “Hey, Connor. Sometimes you tilt your head a little. Is that in your programming or did you pick that up somewhere?”

“I was programmed to blend in with humans, it’s one of the few ‘quirks’ Cyberlife gave me, why?” I watched him, he looked as if he was about to tilt his head again but stopped himself causing me to chuckle.

“I’ve noticed you do it a lot and when Nines was in my office, he did it a couple times. I was wondering if you both were programmed to do that or if he picked it up from you.”

“I believe it is in both of our programming.” I nodded and clicked play on the movie. I patted the couch and Sumo jumped up next to me. “Sumo is not allowed on the couch.”

“It’s a special occasion, one night won’t hurt, Connor.” He frowned as his LED flashed yellow.

“It’s Friday night, there is no holiday today.”

“Exactly.” I said, turning my eyes to the movie. His LED changed back to blue as he sighed. He glanced at Sumo one more time, before finally starting to watch the movie.

 “Together again

Gee, it's good

to be together again

I just can't imagine that

you've ever been gone

It's not starting over 

It's just going on

Together again…”

[cybernightwanderer]

“ My Reiki and Yoga New Free Soul Brother - Once an abuser manipulative thieve , money driven leach “

Well thats a big tittle to describe one person entirely. So my ( midle ) brother across my kid years and then teenager developing to adult, my brother was an interesting person. For example, in school my brother would pretend he didnt know me , and if i even dared to aproach him he would shame me in front of everyone, even thought they already knew i was his sister, i was bullied a lot in school so at the start i tried a few times reaching out to him , specially because i didnt have any friends and id always be alone. This motherfucker who was already a teenager completly dismissed me , BUT would actually seek me out or talk to me when he needed lunch money because he already “ spent his”, funny enough hed get mine to eat coz he didnt wanna use his, and if i didnt gave him even though i hadnt eaten , he would guilty me badly , and being the kid that i was , my brother was everything to me , even tho he didnt gave a shit about me.

So in consequence i started drawing a distance line between me and him, at home id start to distance myself and ignore him. And he started getting like a really attention whore, hed always annoye me , and force me to hangout, and i didnt he would threaten me or do some shit at the house and blame me for it , because my mother at the tinniest shit at home would beat the crap out of me , so me being the little kid that i was tired of getting beatings for no random reason , id play along. My brother would literally antagonzie me and scare the shit out of me while so. Everytime my family went anywhere , for example the beach, id try to go to the water alone for some peace this motherfucker would sneak behind me and try to drown me as a joke , like every 5 minutes, id yell in panic and my mom wouldnt do shit, eventually id end up actually chocking on water and  hit my head on the sand and cry the rest of the time. So yeah FUN ! Did my mom do anything ? ofc no , “ hes just playing around “. I had BD collections that id buy with my lunch money that sometimes id save up, disney movie cassettes and so on. Sometimes id have snacks in my room to eat when studying or something. My brother, being a full grown ass teenager that he was , would steal everything without me even catching a glimpse of it. My brother would “ borrow “ things without asking then hide them because he wanted. I had two final fantasy collectible caracters that i spent my leftover bday money on, and my brother would take it as his own. Yes because whatever birthday money i got wether it be 50 euros or even 20 from my grandma or aunt, my mom would take it “ borrowed” for herself with no justification, shed always say “ Ah lend me i need it  / or / I always buy you clothes and everythings, i buy you food , you owe me this , thats the minimum you could do / “ or / she would just take it without me knowing , she would inspect my bday gifts and take it before hand , the problem is that my grandma or aunt would always after if i was gonna save it up and id ask what and they would question what i did with the money and i would ask what money and blah blah , you get where this is going.

OH and if i didnt give my money the money she would beat me up ! wich is funny asf. My brother literally sold all my things behind my back, my original BDS, MY FUCKING POISON IVY STORYLINE BD, my disney cassetes , my collectibles, and my snacks he would steal and eat. If i had saved up money hidden, first he would try to borrow it and guilty me with the “ im such a good brother to you , you cant even lend me money ? i will pay you back, trust me “ ... ofc he never payed me back , but every two weeks he woul do this shit. And if i by any chance didnt gave him , hed just steal, or sell my things, wich regardless of me lending him , he would do it anyway. Fast forward to my early teenage years, i had to start working , i quit school because we entered that internet deth with my moms company, wich my brother also contributed to but let the blame to me ofc, i was already the punch bag of the family what is one more thing. My brothers were always my moms “ babies “ even tho one was already a full grown ass man and the other was already on his way. My brother did nothing at home , didnt take the dog outside, didnt take out the trash, didnt make food, didnt wash the dishes, didnt clean the house, basicly sit on his ass all day playing video games and eating, and selling my shit for money. My brother was unemployed for 3/4 years in between those i studied and worked at the same time , and did all the house chores, even if i had to walk the dog as 2/3 am after work i would have to, even tho my brother was in bed all day. My mom would literally yell at me and make my life a living hell and threaten to hit me if i didnt do it or even dared to complain. I would get home trying to study , trying to recorver at school ,and she would yell non stop until i didn every house chore, wich i would only manage to finish at midnight or later, and then id be too tired and unmotivated to do anything so id just sleep, and id always get late to class thanks to that. When my brothers started working, it was at my dads wearehouse, where i was forced to work too. Id work 8 to 10 hours , sometimes more, because we got payed by publicity stock packs, each pack was worth 1 euro, wich also 1 pack took 1 hour and 15/20 minutes to make. So if i wanted to make the day worth anything i had to rush , no eating breaks or pee breakes. My hands at the end of the day would literally be filled with newspaper and printed paper ink and dirk, and tons of cuts and sores , that would be leeched in paper ink, wich make it hurt even more at the end of the day, and was really hard to take it out. My brother would take breaks every 30 minutes to smoke , be on his phone or even go to bathroom or eat randomly, i wouldnt stop the 8 hours straight, and when i actually had to go to the bathroom or eat something because id get sick, my brother literally stole packs from me, or try to “ negociate my help for X “, the thing about my brother is that hed always try to negociate something , ofc it was always entangled for his own benefit and not both.

So it was like this my brother came up to me all excited and say “ oh if you do this to help me , ill split the profit that way we will make more and will be less exausting “ stupid like i was id always give in, specially because if i didnt  hed steal anyway.... Hed always change his methods and works, and guilty me if i didnt do it, so id always have to do so. If i didnt hed just change the pack registration list either way, without me even seeing it, and fake my signature, i only found out we had to sign an official paper a few months later when my dad asked, before that my brother would always tell me to note them on my phone then send the numbers by the end of the week, and since he was the bosses son , every one backed up that story ofc.  Eventually when i started to get older , i cut ties with my brothers and dad. And my ( midle ) brother was constantly trying to reach out and play nice and shit , also he was still working at the wearhouse . Anyway , fast forward when i got unemployed after the 5 star hotel due to rape attent and shit like that, i was unemplyoyed for 4 moths?! My brother tried to reach out , and even came home before my mother to try and persuade me to enter one of his schemes, i explained to my brother that i didnt have any money and that i wouldnt believe anymore of his stupid schemes and blah blah. He swore he was only trying to make up to me , and the plan was , i would pretend to work at my dads  wearehouse, but i would just be there 2 times a week and he would give me a cut of the protfit, coz if he didnt want my dad to hire some random slow guy, so he set up to do a two persons work, and give me 30 % of the monthy rate and all i had to do is show up a few times for my dad to see i was there, and then go home. That motherfucker insisted for 3 days straight promissing it wasnt a scheme and that he was serious this time. OBVIOUSLY THAT DIDNT HAPPEN OBVIOUSLY- with the last 10 euros i had, i bought train tickers to the wearhouse, the first week he actually stick to his word, a few days later the shit started, he actualy forced me to deliver shit and stuff. Wich for me was really difficult because its when i started to develop hernias, and the pain was too overwhealming, and that fucker didnt care and still forced me to, eventually i told him i was out , and found out he still used my name in his shit plan  and pretended i was still working there to my dad for two whole months , and then begged me to lie to my dad on the phone, hed literally call me before my dad trying to get me to lie, and promissing the money, and hed ask my mom to pressure my to help him. What could i do??!! what happend after you may ask? did my brother gave me the money? OFC NO ! NO! He gave me 115 euros of the cut , and he made 996 euros to himself. And told me it was only for the days “ i actually worked “  NEVER IN MY LIFE  I VERBALLY EVER SAID TO ANYONE , FAMILY OR NOT  “ I hope you die, you are shit , you are nothing to me , seriously i hope you die “ and acually meant it and wished it. For the first time in my life i actually wished so hard for my brother to just die. I was done, i was officialy done , i had never been so done with someone. I was officialy done with my family. I blocked my dad on everything, i told my dad to fuck off. I told my older brother to fuck off. I told my middle brother to go die. And the last person was my dying grandma who was a snob ass piece of shit who only gave a shit about me when i was a little girl ( because its only cute when they r kids  ), to stop trying to call me and told her to just go and die. She literally sent me a voice message of 5 minutes crying beggin me to see her, and i just told her to go and die, its not because she is dying that is gonna erase the fact that she didnt gave a shit about me after i actually grown. And the fact that i did this apparently scared the shit out my dad and brothes, specially because i did it so naturally. AND TO THIS DAY I DONT REGRET WHAT I SAID AND I STILL DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HER. OH AND PLOT TWIST SHES NOT DEAD NOR WAS SHE DYING, LAST YEAR SHE TRIED TO SCHEME MONEY OUT OF MY MOM, AND BEFORE THAT SHE WOULD ALWAYS TREAT MY MOM LIKE SHIT AN CALL HER NAMES, FUNNY ! Now they try to sneak into my life really AGAIN ... ffs Since the end of last year, apparently my brother turned into reiki and yoga and shit and is now driving a motivational fuck page for people who wanna “ grow spiritually and open the third eye “ and is trying to reconnect with me again, obviously i cut him off before he could even talk to me. So he spent 3 months or so , coming here and trying, and since he didnt get anything since january and february hes trying to manipulate me behind my mother, my mother is venting to my brother about me being closed off to them , and my brother is DIAGNOSING ME AS A PROBLEM, BECAUSE HE IS SO WISE AND ENLIGHTED... WTF??? diagnosing me??? ur not a fucking therapist you asshole ! The other day i heard him tell my mother in the living room , that “ SHE CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ITS VERY TOXIC FOR HER, SHE HAS TO TALK TO YOU AND BE A BETTER SISTER AND DAUGHTER SHE NEEDS TO BLAH BLAH YOU NEED TO KICK HER OUT IF SHE IS LIVING OFF YOU  “ WHAT THE FUCK?? im living off my mother?? the woman that forced me to give her more than half of my paycheck, thats doesnt give me privacy or respect and that literally threatned me if i ever tried to leave that she would chase me down???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR SEND ME TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL????!!!! ... My older brother is doing the same, keeps trying to get me to go visit his kid, and to meet his kid, keeps trying to get my mother to see pictures of the kid or to call them. They keep trying to guilty me “ oh you cant take it out on the kid, its not the kids fault , he needs to know his aunt, you are his family “ BITCH FAMILY?????? FAMILY??? family doesnt mean shit. Yesterday even sent photos of his kid trought a new number LOL. I actually did went to the kids birthday, first time a few months ago, and guess what , my brother still the NO ONE ASKED- OPINIONATED asshole he was about my whole life, he literally takes one glimpse of me and judges my whole life and starts yelling shit at me ...ofc thats not gonna happend again. People dont change. People. dont. change. PEOPLE DONT CHANGE ! BITCH ?? WHAT? WHO THE FCK?? HOW THE FUCK??? In conclusion my brother is still the same piece of shit he was , and now even more narcisistic, and manipulative, he cant get what he wants from me , so now hes resourting to my mother again. I NEED TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE, I NEED TO LEAVE THIS FAMILY OMFG. Funny enough he does this shit then tries to get me to go to his house to celebrate his birthday because he “ MISSES ME AND THE OLD DAYS” ???? OLD DAYS OF YOU MENTALY ABUSING ME ? NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU ALMOST BROKE MY ARM BECAUSE I WOULDNT LEND YOU MY COMPUTER 3 YEARS AGO????? my mom literally told him we were gonna go there without even asking me if i wanted or even if i was gonna go. LOL, shes trying to emotionally manipulate me with older pictures of me and him , and games we would play together LOL. OMFG PLEASE SOME ONE, I DONT EVEN KNOW I NEED TO DIE OMFG... I CANT TAKE THIS FAMILY ANYMORE.

[the-strawzish-clownfish]

Oh, you wanted me to hit you with some? Bet. Do all of them Strawberry

YOBI I LEGIT JUST ASKED SOMEONE THE SAME THING

YOU’RE OMNISCIENT I SWEAR

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I have never considered that before now but thanks for that

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3 probably, I’m not really scared of the dark most of the time (unless it’s literally pitch black), but every once in a while i get really unnerved bc i get rlly paranoid

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Satan

4. What is your favorite word?

“faith” bc my faith and bc synesthesia

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

uhhh flowering cherry bc at my old house my brothers and I each had a tree that my dad planted for us when we were each born and mine was a flowering cherry

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

I looked in the mirror this morning?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

coral pink bubba gump shrimp co. t shirt

8. What do you label yourself as?

child of God, daughter of Sappho

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright if we’re talking natural light being let in through my windows, dark if we’re talking just normally bc rlly bright lights mess w my sensory issues

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

talking to you yobi

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this age, I’m a firm believer in that things will always get better, even if only one small thing does improve, when i think back on past years i get anxious and nostalgia isn’t good for me

12. Who told you they loved you last?

@toomanyfanfics that one

13. Your worst enemy?

my mental health tbh

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

never experienced romantic attraction, i used to have a plush (qp crush) on one of my best irl friends tho (@ blob have fun with this fact)

16. The last song you listened to?

I am listening to Echosmith’s Cool Kids as I am writing this, before that I was listening to Girls by Marina and the Diamonds, which is a hilarious song i 11/10 recommend

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

myself, I’m not s*icidal but I’m not killing someone else

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

whoever the person who decided Teen Vogue should endorse child pornography was

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

me, I would make myself do actual work for once

20. What is your best physical attribute?

my eyes, i just like them. fun fact this one kid i used to be kinda good friends with was talking with me on snapchat once (bc we did that a lot, back when i had snapchat) and i don’t remember how we got into this but he ended up describing my eyes really weirdly? it was really deep and got kinda strange? it was like a movie scene but via text message and then in the middle of it he was like “wtf am i doing” and i will always remember that (dude if you are for some reason reading this then idek what to say man. sorry). anyone who knows me irl (@ you blob) can take a guess as to who this is

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

idk the answer to either of those questions tbh

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

idek man sorry

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

weed, like i’m genuinely terrified of being in its presence (never been in its presence before), i’ve had nightmares about it

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

EVERY TIME I GO TO SUBWAY I GET THE SAME THING. BUFFALO CHICKEN, RANCH, AND CHEESE ON ITALIAN HERBS AND CHEESE TOASTED. I WOULD REPLICATE THAT

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

go to Atlanta and find a homeless person and buy them some clothes and food and some blankets

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

CANADA

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

first of all why is an angel giving me unlimited alcohol that’s just kinda strange second of all i am a MINOR i am not legally ALLOWED however i will probably just take whatever and give it to some people, someone will like it

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

be kind and do good where you can and if someone wrongs you forgive them

29. What is your favorite expletive?

as;ldkfjasdkgaj;lsdf

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

my cactus!! she is v important to me

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

the first thing that comes to mind was really traumatic for me, but it’s what brought me as close as i am to God now so idk that i would get rid of it. idrk man, it really sucked but i’m glad that I’m so much closer to God now

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a [redacted bc even though this is a hypothetical i absolutely would never do this and refuse to acknowledge it even in a hypothetical situation]. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

….Canada?

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

idk, peeps are in heaven now and i don’t really wanna take that away from them

34. What was your last dream about?

ask God not me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

no

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

not really, however i have had several surgeries (all on my mouth) so i was in the hospital for those

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I have built a real, genuine snowman once in my life, and the only proof is a picture i have bc i was so little i can’t even remember it. it doesn’t snow in georgia

38. What is the color of your socks?

ain’t wearing em, however most of mine are gray with some colorful bits

39. What type of music do you like?

I have an eclectic mix of favorites.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises all the way, the afternoon and evening make me anxious but nighttime and dawn and early morning are the best times

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

vanilla bitch

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

UGA i guess bc it’s ga and that’s a safe answer, i don’t really follow sports (i watch baseball sometimes though)

43. Do you have any scars?

oh i’m covered in tiny ones, the most notable being one on my thigh that was on my knee when i first noticed it. to this day i do not know how i got it

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

gay

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i wanna be better about lying

46. Are you reliable?

heh depends, when it comes to knowing random things or being stupid, yes, but when it comes to remembering things, such as dates and times and things? absolutely not

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Has it gotten easier?

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes and no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a whelk and a quetzalcoatlus, no i do not accept constructive criticism

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i once spent hours talking to myself about if it is possible for a perfectly fair coin to exist outside of theory

51. Are you a good liar?

I like to think so

52. How long could you go without talking?

Oh I could go a looooooooooooooong time, however i do have my chatterbox days and i am known for not shutting up so it’s really a tossup on that one

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

when i was 3 my mom put blonde highlights in my hair and it was absolutely absurd

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

i cannot bake to save my life, however i have made my father cheesecakes for his birthday and they turned out okay so idk

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

sco-ish

56. What do you like on your toast?

a crap ton of butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

dude in a graduation cap

58. What would be you dream car?

idk whatever’s cheap and works

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

uhhh not really no

60. Do you believe in aliens?

i mean i don’t think we’re the only life in the entire universe, so yeah (and also they’ve found traces of ancient bacteria on Mars so if you don’t believe then who are you kidding)

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

occasionally, i don’t believe in astrology but it’s at least somewhat accurate a lot of the time and i like to freak myself out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

you’d think i’d have an answer for this, however i have never thought about this before. so e ig

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

if your answer to this is dinosaurs then get out of my house

64. What do you think about babies?

they’re good at shrieking, and for that i admire them

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

i am not interesting

[purplesurveys]

661

1. What time did you wake up this morning? 8 AM. That’s pretty late for me, but then again I fell asleep at 2 AM this morning keeping Gab company while she studied. 2. When did you take your default picture? The photo I have on this Tumblr was takennnnnn at least six months ago? It was definitely not too long ago. 3. Are you hungry? Not really. I can go for something sweet right now though – my mom went out to run some errands and I asked her to get my favorite cookie from Starbucks, the dark chocolate macadamia cookie, so I’m currently waiting for her to get back so I can finally satisfy my craving haha. 4. Have you ever cheated on a test? Once. It was an exam that I already had a feeling I was getting a 99 on, but there was one question I was stuck on so I was getting increasingly annoyed at potentially missing a perfect mark. Then in the middle of the exam the school played the 3 O’Clock Prayer (Catholic school quirks, lmao) so we had to pause the exam and stand up. As I was lightly pacing at my spot, I saw that the girl behind me had her exam paper open to the page with the question I was stuck on. I knew she was smart, so I just copied whatever answer she had. I ended up getting a 100 on that exam but I felt disgusting and I realized the perfect grade wasn’t worth it AT ALL and I never cheated again after that. 5. When was the last time you ate ice cream? Thursday! Gab and I picked up some ice cream at Mad Mark’s, which was a bit of a throwback considering the last time I had ice cream from there was 2015. But we were craving dessert, so yeah.

6. What computer game is in your CPU? My Mac has a sliding puzzle game, but I’m too lazy to check if it offers any other ones. 7. Do you like Audrey Hepburn? I LOVE her. Those who know me from my old old old surveys might remember how obsessed I used to be with Audrey andddd I’ve literally seen almost all of her movies, save for the ones that were released from the 70s to 80s because I never got to find those. She’s still very special to me and I still watch her movies and interviews from time to time :) 8. What color is your winter jacket? I don’t have one. 9. Do you have any siblings? I do. 10. Would you call yourself skinny? I’m on the petite side, but I wouldn’t call myself skinny. 11. Does your phone take pictures? Yes. Just realized this survey was published in 2008, which makes it a completely valid question at the time hahaha.

12. Who is your favorite neighbor? I don’t have one. 13. Do you wish at 11:11? I make a mock wish when I catch it, but yeah I never take it seriously. 14. Have you ever gotten a detention? Detention isn’t a thing here and to be honest I still have no idea what that entails. Do kids in detention sweep the floor? Write a sentence on the board 60 times like Bart Simpson? Whatever it is, we don’t have it here and it’s usually enough for students to simply be verbally scolded. 15. Do you still watch Disney Channel? When I’m at a hotel, yeah. That’s really the only time I get to chill in front of a TV these days. 16. Who did you last IM? Andrew. 17. Who is your least favorite teacher? All of my teachers this sem are good/great, fortunately. The last meh prof that I had is the one from my elective on contemporary Philippine history. That dude was so obviously unprepared all semester long, and I’ve never liked profs that appear or come to class unprepared. 18. What were you doing six hours ago? I was in UP. I’m part of the graduation committee and the second wave of grad photo shoots happened today, so I went in to take a shift. 19. What is your ringtone? I just have the default ones provided by Apple. 20. Does your door have a dead bolt on it? Yes, but I have to say I had to Google this because I’ve never heard this term before lmao. 21. Have you ever been to a show? I’ve...been to all kinds of shows? 22. What are some details about your first kiss? I was 16 and I was extremely nervous with my girlfriend who was extremely eager. We were supposed to kiss on a certain date, but I remembered it was the birthday of a girl in high school that I hate so I told her to push it up to midnight HAHAHA. The feeling wasn’t 100% ~sparks fly~ because I was really anxious, but it was a good experience nonetheless. 23. What college do you want to attend/currently attend? I only ever wanted to be in UP. I’m now in it and am graduating in four months.

24. Have you had any soda today? Nope, hate soda. 25. What is your favorite scary movie? Probably The Shining. Or Scream. 26. Do you own a Wii? We used to, but it gradually got overheated through the years until it was unable to boot up. Lots of amazing memories from it, though. 27. Did you wear shorts today? No, I’ve just been wearing a dress today. 28. Anything fun happening this weekend? I’m gonna go to my grandparents’ (dad’s side) in Laguna this Saturday, and as is tradition they’ll be preparing kare-kare, prawns, and crabs for us; Sunday will be Gabie and mine’s anniversary so we’ll be going to Art Fair PH in Makati and having a nice dinner :) 29. What shoes did you wear today? I dunno yet but I might just go for sneakers as always. 30. What is your favorite type of Pop Tart? Well, as a Third World Southeast Asian country that only gets the same four flavors (chocolate, cookies and cream, s’mores, and strawberry) – I’ll go with chocolate. 31. Do you subscribe to any magazines? Nope. And I never did when that was still a thing; I liked buying new issues by myself at the mall. 32. What was the last television show you watched? BoJack Horseman, which I started getting into this weekend. 33. Do you know any other languages? Filipino. 34. Are you wearing anything green? Not right now.

[lazingonsunday]

Tag Game!!

I was tagged by @gretavanfic and @bigthighsandstupidguys , thank you, lovelies!! 💛

1. What is your middle name?

Starts with G lol

2. How old are you?

20

3. When is your birthday?

Dec 2

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Everyone is putting like moon and sun and rising and I have no idea what that mean lmao, sorry! I think I’m a Sagittarius though

5. What is your favourite colour?

Orange or Yellow 🧡💛

6. What’s your lucky number?

Don’t really have one, but I always tried to be #10 on my volleyball jersey

7. Do you have any pets?

An old border collie named Riley

8. Where are you from?

Canada! 🇨🇦

9. How tall are you?

Like 5’7 ish

10. What shoe size are you?

Usually 9.5 or 10. I got big ass feet :(

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Way more than one human being needs

12. What was your last dream about?

I went to IT chapter 2 last night so safe to say I was having some freaky clown dreams all night lol

13. What talents do you have?

Um, I can say the alphabet backwards, which is super random lol. I can also kinda play guitar, bass, ukulele, and harmonica, but I’m not very good at any of them yet lol

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I used to think so when I was little, but not so much anymore

15. Favourite song?

Ooh, this is hard. Right now I really love When The Curtain Falls by GVF, but I would say an all time fave might be Forever in Blue Jeans by Neil Diamond because it reminds me of my mom

16. Favourite movie?

Oh, also a tough one! I think either Rocky IV or The Sandlot

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Jake Kiszka, obviously. But in all seriousness, anyone who is genuinely kind that I feel comfortable and happy around.

18. Do you want children?

I never thought so, but now a bunch of my older cousins are having kids and they’re pretty cool, so maybe one day if I found the right person to raise them with

19. Do you want a church wedding?

No, even though my mom will kill me if I don’t lol

20. Are you religious?

I was raised Catholic, but I don’t consider myself religious anymore.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes, I’m asthmatic af lol, and prone to breaking my fingers playing rugby

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

No, I am a well-behaved child

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I met the magicians Penn & Teller if that counts haha

24. Baths or showers?

For practical purposes of actually getting clean, showers, but I l o v e baths

25. What colour socks are you wearing?

Black

26. Have you ever been famous?

No

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

While I daydream about it frequently, realistically I know I would hate it

28. What type of music do you like?

Literally the most random taste in music, it changes all the time. I don’t even have certain genres that I like, just certain artists or albums from a variety of genres

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yes. I was very drunk lmao

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Three normal ones and a body pillow

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

On my side cuddled up with the pillows

32. How big is your house?

Typical white suburban neighbourhood house

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I typically pout in the kitchen for 10 minutes before I give up and make something completely inappropriate for breakfast lmao. Usually grilled cheese. This morning alphagetti. I hate breakfast so much lol

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nope. No desire to.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes, we did it in school a few times

36. Favourite clean word?

Love

37. Favourite swear word?

Idk if it’s a swear word, but I say ‘goddammit’ a lot

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Not long, I’m a sleepy bitch. Probably 24 hours

39. Do you have any scars?

Yes

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

In 9th grade I found out this guy had a crush on my and told literally everyone but me lol

41. Are you a good liar?

I don’t lie very often, but mostly because I am a terrible liar

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Yes. I frequently get such strong vibes off of people and I can tell right away if they’re the kind of person that’s gonna stress me out

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Not well

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I guess I probably have a Canadian accent, but not super strong. The region I’m from has a pretty neutral North American accent

45. What is your favourite accent?

Certain regions of Irish accent are so beautiful. Like Hozier’s accent

46. What is your personality type?

Quite shy, but generally very kind

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I have a shirt that I got for work that was like a hundred bucks and I never wear it cause I sprayed foundation on it once and now I’m scared I’m gonna ruin it lol

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

49. Are you an innie or outie?

Innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right

51. Are you scared or spiders?

Not really scared of them, but I don’t like them to be close to me if that makes sense

52. Favourite food?

Probably burritos

53. Favourite foreign food?

Mexican

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Fairly clean

55. Most used phrase?

I really don’t think I have one?

56. Most used word?

Completely. I say it like to agree with someone or acknowledge what they’re saying

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Depends what I’m getting ready. For school or something I don’t really care about, maybe half an hour. For work or going out, probably over an hour.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t think so

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck until I get bored and crunch it lol

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes, a concerning amount. Like full conversations with myself at full volume, constantly when I’m alone.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Occasionally

62. Are you a good singer?

Not really

63. Biggest fear?

Never learning how to make meaningful connections , pushing all my friends away, and dying alone.

64. Are you a gossip?

No, I hate it! My friends try to tell me about people we went to high school with, and I just genuinely don’t care and don’t want to know lmao

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

Idk what classifies as a ‘dramatic’ movie, but I guess the Rocky movies again

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I love long hair, I’m so jealous of people with really long hair. Mine grows so slow :(

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Maybe, if I thought really hard about it? I can barely remember Canadian provinces lmao

68. Favourite school subject?

I always really loved some topics in science, but then hated others. I was probably best at English.

69. Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert af

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No, even snorkeling freaks me out. The ocean is some scary soup

71. What makes you nervous?

Pretty much everything lol. But mostly any social situation where there’s people I don’t know, or I don’t know exactly what to expect.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Really depends where I am. Usually no, but if I’m outside then usually yes, and after watching It last night, yes lol

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Depends who it is and what the mistake is

74. Are you ticklish?

Honestly, not really

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

Not intentionally

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Kind of? At work they have like hourly leaders who are in charge of the sales floor, and I did that a lot, but it’s not really a lot of power or responsibility. Also babysitting I guess

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yes

78. Have you ever done drugs?

Honestly, this is gonna sound so stupid, but I’ve never done anything other than alcohol and cigarettes. I actually high key wanna try weed, but again the whole ‘not knowing what to expect makes me anxious thing.’ Not even so much that I’m nervous to try the drug but that I’m nervous to try to buy it or get it, even though it’s fully legal in Canada and there’s a dispensary on every corner lmao

79. Who was your first real crush?

The first one I remember was a boy named Evan in first grade

80. How many piercings do you have?

Just my ears, and I rarely wear earrings so I always have to stab through them again when I do

81. Can you roll your R’s?

No, and I can’t whistle either! Which is deeply infuriating!

82. How fast can you type?

Fast enough to not look foolish

83. How fast can you run?

Not fast at all. I’m asthmatic and out of shape lmao

84. What colour is your hair?

An ugly medium mousy brown. I always wanna dye it a little lighter, but I go to the hairdresser like once every two years so it would look stupid when it grew out lol

85. What colour are your eyes?

Hazel-y greenish

86. What are you allergic to?

All sorts of environmental allergies; dust, pollen, animal hair, etc. I’m always sneezing and watery eyes lol

87. Do you keep a journal?

I carry a notebook, but it’s more like an agenda than a diary

88. What do your parents do?

My dad owns a drywall company and my mom is a stay-at-home mom, but she volunteers a lot now that we’re older

89. Do you like your age?

No. I think that being in your late teens and twenties can be really stressful because you feel like there’s certain things that you should have accomplished or experienced and it can be very overwhelming, feeling like you’re competing with all your peers to get your life together

90. What makes you angry?

Rude and disrespectful people

91. Do you like your own name?

Not really

92. Have you thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I’ve definitely thought about it but I don’t really have specific favourites

93. Do you want a boy or girl for a child?

I don’t have a preference. I’d probably like to have one of each

94. What are your strengths?

I think I’ve become a lot more kind and open-hearted in the last few years.

95. What are your weaknesses?

I feel like I have let fear dictate my entire life, and there’s so many things I haven’t done because I’ve been afraid. I need to step outside my comfort zone more often.

96. How did you get your name?

There was a character on a TV show called my name that my parents liked

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not that I am aware of

98. Do you have any tattoos?

I changed the question because scars was an earlier one. I have two tattoos on my right arm

99. Colour of your bedspread?

Because it’s summer, I have a lighter blanket that’s light blue. My winter duvet is navy

100. Colour of your room?

Light blue

That was LONG lmao but really fun! I’m too lazy to bold the questions so sorry if it’s hard to read!

Tagging: @frcmthefires @sweetkiszkadreams @okietrish @sammyscherub @gretavanbobatea @jake-thomas-kiszka @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank and anyone else who wants to do it!!

[spinachdrum]

Day 15, 20190315: Cafe Yogurbara. ♡

My long anticipated day! We went to the cafe that Jaebeom’s parents own in Goyang, Cafe Yogurbara! 

I was really nervous about going, because it’s outside of Seoul and you can only get there by bus. I’m not very familiar with the bus system in Korea so I was a little nervous about it. But we made it! 

You can take the bus anywhere from Seoul really, if you use Kakao or Naver maps. But here’s the way we went! 

We went to Samsong Station (NOTE: This is different than SamSEONG Station, which is on line 2). Samsong Station is on line 3 and is circled on this map below!

When you get to Samsong Station, go out exit 7. From here you’ll take the bus--when we went, the bus stop was actually not in use because of a lot of construction in the area, so there was a temporary bus station outside of exit 8. I don’t know how long this will be there, but just in case! 

From here you will take BUS 37 to Sarihyeondong Ibgu Jeongryujang (사리현동입구 정류장). 

IMPORTANT: When you get out of Seoul, there is a major lack of English, and there is almost no romanization on anything. So you’ll definitely want to have at least some basic Korean knowledge to get here! The bus also does not announce the stops in English and the announcements are VERY fast, so you’ll really want to pay attention.

When you get off the stop, this is where you’re going to end up! 

There is an alleyway directly behind this little store, turn right and head down that way! Luckily it’s really easy from here, you just keep walking straight along this alley until you see the E-Mart. Yogurbara is next door!! 

Let me tell you....it’s so surreal seeing it in person. I don’t know why, but it was just so surreal seeing it. Seeing so many people talk about it, talk about his parents, seeing the way Jaebeom talks about his parents, and here I am, standing in front of their cafe. God.

We walked in and immediately I couldn’t stop smiling. His dad greeted us right away and his mom was busy talking to some ladies they were sitting with. We stared at the menu--there was more than I was expecting!! 

I ordered the strawberry yoghurt since Jaebeom raves about his momma’s yoghurt. I also got the sikhye and the yoghurt comes with the mini bread his dad makes! Nichole got the strawberry too but also got a mango smoothie. 

So. Freaking. Good. Seriously, the food was soooo amazing. The yoghurt was really creamy and the strawberries were soooo good, the bread was really warm and super fresh. The sikhye is self serve and it was so good, too! The mango smoothie was my favorite, I ended up ordering one for myself because it was so amazing. 

And yes, the decorations are just as cute as they are in pictures.

GOD HIS MOM IS SO TALENTED! 

And yes, the cat statues are by the door. I forgot to take a picture but there was a cat tapestry hanging on the back door, too. 😭

Such a pretty view by the window.

THE WELCOME AHGASE SIGN. 😭😭😭😭😭♥️

The GODLY mango smoothie.

So eventually the ladies they were sitting in left, and that’s when we made eye contact with his mom. Oh, God. She was so sweet though--she walked them to the door and waited there while they were leaving until they were gone, and then she came over to us! 

She asked if we spoke Korean, and I really had to come through with my limited Korean skills, lol. Her and Jaebeom’s dad do both speak a little bit of English, though! But we mostly spoke to her in Korean. She seemed really surprised that we could, lol! She asked where we were from, and we told her a little bit about our home state since most of the time people haven’t heard of it. We were talking to her about how yummy the yoghurt is, we asked her if it was homemade and she was soooo proud when she said yes! She noticed Nichole’s nails were bare and she was like “Oh, look! The same! Yours are pretty, though, mine aren’t”. And we laughed and told her “Oh no, they’re pretty! Your hands are pretty too!!” and she was so smiley and chatty. She of course asked us who are favorites are and I immediately said “Jinyoung! And Jaebeom, too! I love them both”. Nichole was like “Jaebeom and Bambam!” and his mom got soooo smiley and her face lit up and she was like “Ah!! JJ Project!!” and laughed with us. 😭

She thanked us and then went to go talk to other customers and started taking photos with them!! Jaebeom’s mom is really the cutest and the sweetest. She was really silly posing for photos, doing finger hearts and a big smile. 

At one point, Jaebeom’s dad and his mom were walking past each other--he said something to her that made her smile, and then he grabbed her face with both hands and patted her cheeks so gently. I seriously freaking melted!! It was so sweet, and you can tell they enjoy each other’s company and care about each other.

Also, you can really tell that Jaebeom’s mom (and dad, too!) really value the people who come to the cafe, especially the ones who are GOT7 fans. Every time someone left she was walking them to the door and waiting for them to depart--she even talked on the phone to a taxi driver for some girls from Japan, and she waited at the door and waved at them until their taxi left. Jaebeom’s dad gave us more bread for free when we ordered more, he asked how we liked it and we said it was so yummy and he told us not to pay for it. They are seriously so fucking sweet and they really, really care.

Jaebeom’s dad is also VERY silly and VERY much a dad!! The girls sitting next to us were taking a photo; the one girl was sitting on the bench seat and the other girl was taking her photo and Jaebeom’s dad came and just sat down next to her and put himself in her photo!! She was so surprised and he laughed a lot, and asked her if she wanted to take one with him in it, and of course we all said definitely!! He was so silly in them, doing finger hearts and stuff. The one girl went to take a selfie and he noticed his hair in the camera and went “Oh! One second~” all grumpy while he quickly tried to fix it, LOL. He took pictures with us and was like “did it come out well?” and laughed when we said yes!! He thanked US!??? and then patted the seat telling me to sit back down. They’re so soft. I’m cry.

Before we left, I made sure to look at all her gorgeous candles and herbariums. She is seriously talented, they were all so beautiful and smelled SO GOOD. If you go here and can do it, please buy one from here. It made her SO happy when I told her I was going to buy some! (I bought one for me, and one for Linh). 

In that little book stand, there is a fan book of ahgase birthday messages for Jaebeom and I seriously almost cried looking at it. 

She took photos with us, too, and she’s seriously so warm. She put her arm around me and I really felt really loved and cared about, she’s THAT sweet. 

Here’s the herbariums I bought, the purple is for Linh! 

THEY LIGHT UP!!! There’s 3 light settings, and his sweet mama taught me how to change the batteries and everything as she was wrapping them up for transit. She said the water inside is just mineral water! 

I really, really didn’t want to leave. If I could I would have stayed here all day! I packed up my bag and was taking some last minute photos--she love to photobomb and she photobombed my photo of the sign with her little finger heart. 😭♥️

The freaking literal cutest.

As we were leaving, she gave us both the BEST mom hugs. Seriously, I’m jealous that Jaebeom gets these whenever he wants!! She was so smiley and happy as she walked out with us. His dad was eating lunch but he made sure to wave to us and say goodbye as we were leaving, and I told them that we ate well and they seemed so happy. She waved to us and said “bye bye! bye bye!” As we were walking away and waited until we got around the corner.

I couldn’t believe it. My heart was so, so, so, so, so, so, full after being here. His parents are so gentle, wonderful, and kind. They were so welcoming and were so understanding that our Korean wasn’t great, and they both were so patient as we formulated our thoughts, LOL. You could tell they really cared about each other and their customers, and we really felt more like guests than plain old customers at a cafe. 

The food was so delicious and so were the drinks. Jaebeom’s parents are incredibly kind and warm people and I can honestly see where the boy we know gets his silly, gentle, and sweet demeanor from.

Going to Cafe Yogurbara was easily one of the best days of the entire trip. I am go thankful and so grateful that I had the opportunity to meet Jaebeom’s parents and support their adorable, delicious cafe.

♥️♥️♥️

[mooneyed-kid]

Hey dude, do all of them.

1. What is you middle name?

I used to be super secretive about it for some reason, but it’s Kate.

2. How old are you?

23

3. When is your birthday?

July 4th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Cancer

5. What is your favorite color?

Blue

6. What’s your lucky number?

4

7. Do you have any pets?

Boy do I. Five dogs, three cats, and two guinea pigs!

8. Where are you from?

Pennsylvania

9. How tall are you?

5’2”

10. What shoe size are you?

8 1/2

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Maybe 6?

12. What was your last dream about?

I dreamed I almost got into a car accident because I fell asleep driving

13. What talents do you have?

Making everything more difficult than it needs to be, and making cats love me

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I guess

15. Favorite song?

Oof I have so many. Loving on Hozier and the Wonder Years currently

16. Favorite movie?

It’s so hard for me to pick one. The last one I really enjoyed was Black Panther

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Someone patient and kind and sitting on the couch with me right now

18. Do you want children?

Probably someday. Not anytime soon

19. Do you want a church wedding?

No. Even if I did, I doubt I’m welcome lmao

20. Are you religious?

No

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

For myself, a handful of times. But I take my partner to the hospital at least once a year

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

Nope

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I don’t think so

24. Baths or showers?

I love both, but I take showers more often.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

I’m not wearing any

26. Have you ever been famous?

Not even a little bit

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

In theory it sounds cool. But I hate talking to people and having my picture taken so probably not

28. What type of music do you like?

Pop punk, alternative, and indie

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Nah

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

At least two. Ideally as many as I can fit on the bed

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

Curled up on my side. Sometimes on my stomach with my arms at my sides like a log

32. How big is your house?

Moderately large, but it’s not mine

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Medication and coffee

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nope

35. Have you ever tried archery?

No, but it looks fun!

36. Favorite clean word?

Bean

37. Favorite swear word?

Fuck, obviously

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Without any sleep, a little over 24 hours. But I’ve slept less than three hours a night for weeks at a time

39. Do you have any scars?

A few, yeah

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

Not in a long time, but yes

41. Are you a good liar?

It depends who I’m lying to

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Oh absolutely. My first impressions are pretty solid

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

British probably. But I’m sure it’s very bad lmao

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I don’t think so. Sometimes I can hear the Pennsylvania in certain words but it’s rare

45. What is your favorite accent?

Irish, by far

46. What is your personality type?

My Meyers-Briggs type is INFJ. I’m very introverted, intuitive, and empathetic.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

Not necessarily clothing, but probably my work boots

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Barely

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie

50. Left or right handed?

Left handed

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Oh yeah

52. Favorite food?

Ramen, or pretty much any noodle soup

53. Favorite foreign food?

Again, ramen. Or maybe sushi

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

I’m so messy.

55. Most used phrased?

“Come the fuck on”

56. Most used word?

Bean! I call my partner bean all day

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

If I have to shower, probably 45 minutes or an hour

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t like to think I do, but I probably do

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

I suck on them until they’re soft enough to bite into

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Constantly. Or I talk to my animals if they’re around

61. Do you sing to yourself?

When I’m alone

62. Are you a good singer?

Mediocre, probably. I can carry a tune

63. Biggest Fear?

Probably losing loved ones

64. Are you a gossip?

Only with certain people

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

None recently.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I like both. My hair is short right now, but I’m trying to grow the top out and keep an undercut

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Sure

68. Favorite school subject?

English and Art

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Absolutely an introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No, it sounds terrifying

71. What makes you nervous?

Literally everything lmao

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Depends on where I am

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Only if they’re important to get right.

74. Are you ticklish?

Extremely

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

I don’t think so?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Yeah, I’ve been in charge of people at work before

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Of course

78. Have you ever done drugs?

Yes

79. Who was your first real crush?

Hard to say. Looking back, it was probably my best friend from elementary school

80. How many piercings do you have?

5

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Not even a little

82. How fast can you type?

I can type fast, but not accurately

83. How fast can you run?

Oh man, not fast

84. What color is your hair?

Sandy blonde

85. What color is your eyes?

Brown

86. What are you allergic to?

Latex, pollen, and dust

87. Do you keep a journal?

I’m trying to. Doing a bad job of it though

88. What do your parents do?

My mom is a country club receptionist, and my dad is retired. He was a postal carrier though

89. Do you like your age?

Nobody likes you when you’re 23 (I’ll show myself out)

90. What makes you angry?

Rude and disrespectful people

91. Do you like your own name?

I don’t really think it fits me

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I’m a writer, of course I have a million baby names saved. I’ve been thinking about the name Desiree a lot lately

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I don’t care

94. What are you strengths?

I can read a room as soon as I walk in, and I’m a great listener

95. What are your weaknesses?

I hate change and I can’t make decisions

96. How did you get your name?

I have a great aunt with my name, but my parents told me they just chose the name because they liked it

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Probably not

98. Do you have any scars?

A few, yeah

99. Color of your bedspread?

Navy blue

100. Color of your room?

Beige

[hallucinosims]

Hi here’s the get to know me tag let’s get to knowing

I was tagged in this by @gunthermunch

125 questions under the cut, if you do decide to read i suggest getting a snack first

I tag @emovatore @humanitys-shortest @liliithvatore if you haven’t done it yet

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Elio

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? Lee and Leo are the go-tos in real life but I get called Hall on here and I think that’s a rad nickname too

3. BIRTHDAY? Feb 5th

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? I am a slut for the Percy Jackson series and Leo Valdez was one of the reasons why I started going by Leo more often then my full name

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Yes yes absolutely yes. One, earth really can’t be the only planet in a universe with infinite possibilities to have life on it, you know? And ghosts is more like a spirit thing.

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? oooh fuck me up this is a hard one uhhhhhh Classic author probably Edgar Allen Poe but Contempoary I’d say Tony Kushner

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? the Musical Theatre station

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? I don’t really like... food. I don’t enjoy it. But I guess I like savory over sweet

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? neat

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Liar by Queen or Greek God by Conan Gray

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? I-Cunt-tic, pronounced like iconic but... you know

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? Please Never Fall in love again Ollie MN

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Kidding, that Jim Carrey tv show that premiered this year. Beautifully edited and told story

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? I’ve seen Bohemian Rhapsody 6 times this month alone so probably that on wards

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yes

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? dying in the same place i was born

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my empathy

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? the depression (tm) 

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? idk, i’m not really an animal person

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? nah

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? playing in the ika playscape

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? i have quite a few best friends but when im at school/work then my good friend Julio

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? a very doe eyed dark brown

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? i re-dyed my hair black recently so let’s go with that

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my mom

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my dad

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? myself

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? going to denmark to be a farm gay on my semester off

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? currently Sims, Queen, and Falsettos (the musical)

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? i didn’t have cable but there is no way in hell i’m saying cyberchase so, Mia and Miguel

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? Julio

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? very

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? none that i can think of

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT?i actually really enjoy both

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? True West, it’s a really good play

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? ...Bohemian Rhapsody for the 6th time

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? most stringed instruments i can figure out pretty quickly but i’m best at guitar and piano

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? humans

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? i follow over 5k people i don’t even know who i follow

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? basically Kirby. I want the power to take others powers

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in michigan on rainy afternoons in my bunk bed with my laptop on my lap. Or like, the floor of a bookstore

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? loaded question

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? I used to do competitve dance, competitve cheer, biking, and volleyball

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? watah

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? like a week ago to my grandma, she likes getting post cards in the mail

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? i used to be. not so much anymore

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? people who saunter. We got places to be fellas

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? yup!

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? i’m to anemic to be either 

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a performer

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? i’m actually not to into media that take place in other... wait i take it back i wanna live in Hobbiton

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? breathing

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? ehh sometimes

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? It’s a part of my career so hopefully

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? i’m skippin school rn

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? manhattan Lower East Side

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? Manhattan’s Lower East Side. I live in the Upper West Side right now and it’s aight but it’s not the LES

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? nope

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? i just dont sleep

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER?sunrises

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? nah

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? earbuds

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yee

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? anything

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Tony Kushner

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? yee and before you ask my fave is Deadpool

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? when people be on some bullshit

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? real book

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? IN High School I loved history

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? one sister who is ten years older than I am

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? ... iced coffee despite it being 30 degrees out

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′3

75. CAN YOU COOK? I’d like to think so. Wish I had a oven tho

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? music, my family (sometimes) I’m trying to love myself so let’s throow that one in there

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? people who stroll/saunter, when people are on their bullshit, dark chocolate

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? male “friends”. But, I know a lot more girls that I keep up with more often.

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? lesbian

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? Manhattan, Upper West Side

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? Me mam

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Thursday in my Theatre class but we were all crying so i’ll let it slide

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? i don’t really watch anyone consistently

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? i do

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? tinder

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? prety solid i love them both even if my mom hates my sexuality and threatened locking me at home when i came out to herelol

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? italian

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT?Copenhagen! I’ve wanted to go to Denmark since I was ten

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 7

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Nah son

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? defenitly a lot less than my story style insists lol. I do believe in God tho

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? LOADED QUESTION BECAUSE I WANNA EXPLORE BOTH 

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? ehhhhhhhh no

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? strawberries and some medicine that i can’t remember the name of

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yes i’m a lesbian it’s what we do

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nah

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Literally anytime i’m wrong about soomething. I love being exposed, put in my place, roasted.

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? Forest so I can find my mans... my MOTH mans

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? you know what you want, don’t let your concerns get in the way of your ambitions

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? Yes

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Ravenclaw

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? Deadass I talk to myself more often than otherpeople

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? introverted

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? yee

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? I give everyone I can think of second chances because i’m a forgiving sone of a bitch and yet they continue TO BE ON SOME BULLSHIT

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? THat be mine i may be forgiving by moral compass be broke as hell and I haven’t eaten in like 3 days because i’m so broke

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? When I’m answering this question for a job application i sure do

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? tragicallu

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? i have 5 holes in my ears and a nostreil piercing

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Mark Cohen or LEO VALDEZ

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yes 2, one chest, one forearm. But that’s only because I don’t have money i need more

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? move to new york

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yes and she’s a bitch

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? both

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? eventually I feel like I would make a pretty solid kid

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my dad

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? Being high for three days straight

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? i just finished pulling one

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black as you can see by my simself  i really do dress pretty much only in black because i aged poorly out of my goth phase

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? yeeee

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? Yep, Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, Trade Show stuff, probably for school or local news a few times

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 18

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? Know in your soul like your blood knows the way from your heart to your brain, know that you’re whole. - HEdwig and the Angry Inch

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? This is a really boring last question but savory but if you made it this far i’ll expose myself a little more. I’m black and Jewish, I go to a performing arts Conservatory, and this took me so long to answer because I hooked up with someone in Brooklyn last night and i had trouble getting back to my dorm.

[vinodiriso]

CHARACTER SHEET --- TIMELINE.

NAME: Adrian Mihai Lupei.

PLACE OF BIRTH: Alba Iulia, Transylvania, Romania.

NATIONALITY: Romanian.

CALLSIGN: Prototip.

ALIASES: Lup-ul [formerly], Dmitry Blatov.

BIRTHDAY: 15/11 (Scorpio).

OCCUPATION: Soldier of fortune.

BASE OF OPERATION: Bucharest, Romania.

AFFILIATION: Romanian-Moldovan Fourth Anti-Omnic Regiment (Românesc și Moldovenesc Anti-Omnic A Patra Regiment) [formerly].

BACKGROUND: read more ‘cause it’s pretty long.

It’s hard as fuck to be a boy and grow up without a father. Shit, do you have any idea how goddamn disheartening it is to feel lost, hopeless, and seeing nothing when you dare looking back? Who the fuck was supposed to be my model? Who the fuck should I have been inspired from when choosing the man I had eventually to become?

But, hey, somehow I managed. I’ve become a man… and a fucking ugly one. The name’s Adrian — no, not Edrian, you fucker, it’s Adriàn — you know what? Call me Prototip. It’s gonna make it easier. Nowadays it feels more me than my actual name regardless.

I went to school for I think 8, maybe 9 years. My grades weren’t half bad, I was a smart kid, always been, but mamă alone couldn’t bring home enough money to sustain the family. It was only the two of us, sure, but when at every corner of the street you can find a fucking tin can doing whatever job better than a man in flesh and bones, who the fuck would hire a slow, sloppy, fragile human person? Soon enough, I was off my way. Already mentioned I was a smart boy, didn’t I? I learned not to shy away from anything. I am not lying when I tell ya I have literally swum in sewage, punched my way through asbestos and other cancerous shit (tsk, like today I should care!), breathed in mouthful of the toxic, radioactive wastes of old, abandoned Omnic factories to raid spare parts… surviving is surviving, dude. And surviving in an underdeveloped, poor, rural zone of Eastern Europe usually means to deal with the nastiest shit you could imagine. You want to know when was the first time I was clobbered over a job? The first time I had to shove a knife between a man’s ribs? Yeah, better.

Managed to stay in the world this way for six years, right before my beloved country, trăiască!, decided they had to do something to stop the raids of the Western Russia Omnium that had brought, in 10 years, Eastern Europe to its knees. Or rather, that we had to do something to stop the raids, because we had to enlist to the new formed Romanian-Moldovan Ally Military Force to save our houses and our families. I was… shit, 20? Yeah, somewhat around that. No future, no family, no home, no expectations… the army promised it would give me a job, warm food when I was hungry, some blankets when it was cold as fuck outside… I mean, for me, back then, it was a radiant future.

It was not only me anyway, if that face of yours want to hint at that. Do you have any idea how many fucking loners like me war in my country has produced? Finally the government had found a way to make use of us; turning us into meat to slaughter and butcher, testers for their new, shiny toys. There were others… shit, the names have become so hard to recall… Bogdan, Daniel, Eugen, Isabela… yeah, those were my friends at the boot camp.

Ha… it’s funny, at times, when I think back of it… six months of training non-stop, day and night, the food was even scarcer than what I used to eat, scrawny boys and girls sent off to die because, after all, it was not like the world was ever going to miss us.

However, I proved to be different. I don’t remember exactly what the head trainer back at the boot camp said, something like “a talent for shooting” or some shit along these lines. Apparently, my aim was naturally trained… yeah, ‘naturally’. Not like I had been aiming down the barrel of my American magnum for the previous six years. What a fucking retard.

I got signed up for something a little bit more special. Two years more off the front, Adi was about to become a sniper for the Fourth Regiment, the big names: Alexandru Averescu, Constantin Prezan, Ion Antonescu… never heard of them? Oh my God, remind me why the fuck I am still talking with you? Yeah, those were big names for us, mareșal, nothing to kid with. I was good, I mean, I don’t want to come out as big-mouthed or anything, but--- like, shit, I had proved to be worth my place. Again, it was not like I wanted to protect my nation, forget about that shit, but like… I finally had a place to feel good in, you know? Call me a romantic, but that was a good thing to have in your chest. And I was so sick of dealing only with anger and bruises.

The Regiment fought the Omnium on the Ukrainian border for 4 years. I got many a commendation for my work, started to make a name for myself little by little. It was like I was born to have a rifle in these scarred hands of mine, a gift from above I had just found out. They called me “Lup-ul”, back in the day; it means “the wolf” in Romanian, a reference to my surname, Lupei. Yeah, I know, pretty basic, but it does have its kick, no? Anyways… good times are always so fast to pass.

We were based in Lysychansk, lovely place to raise kids if you ignore the bomb dropping on your head every 3 hours either from the regular army, the anarchists or the fucking bots. Mission was going smooth, backup was waiting for us just a couple of kilometres away, but it happened: my whole team got captured. There is a reason why I mentioned the anarchists, my friend. Ever heard of Beznă? Mh, at least what Romanians call Beznă; the Polishes, Ciemność; the Ukrainians, Темрява; the Russians, темнота́… and I don’t know what else. Terrorists. People that believe that a  world strangulated in chaos would be better than the mess we have now. At this point, I don’t know if they are entirely wrong.

At first, we thought we would have been sort of pieces to trade for Beznă to seal an unregistered deal with the Romanian Army… no, we were too naive to think that. I can’t and won’t tell you just what they did us, because the last ten years of my life I have tried to tear those memories away from my brain as hard as I could. If you really are eager to know, I was detained in their Siberian facility for four years before I broke free… I was the sole survivor of my team. The shit I got exposed to made me faster, stronger, smarter, more sensitive to stimuli. Paradoxically, I became a better soldier than I already was by getting captured by the enemy. I already knew a bit of Ukrainian back when I was detained so I got to catch some whispers, some gossips, but still I couldn’t understand why we got experimented and tested after, for what goal. Apparently, we were weapons for the Beznă to take over the Eastern Europe regimens. The shot didn’t miss the mark any which ways: my companions still died for ideals they did not stand for.

Back to the story, I learned that the Fourth Regiment had me and my teammates listed as deserters and we were actively sought after by the hounds of the Romanian Army. So I decided to hide in Siberia for the following year, got a new identity, lived off a nomadic style, killing animals and humans alike to eat; animals for their meat, humans for their bounties. What? Do you think I am some sort of cannibal? Oh, yeah, just because I am Romanian you think I am a vampire? Fuck off, dude.

Eventually the Romanians gave up… mostly because they lost the war. That was a hard blow for the country, but we didn’t crumble under the weight of that defeat. Romanians are tough people. We have come back from worse. As long as I was regarded, I came out of hiding, intentioned to get my name back, a new life away from conflicts, blood, war… it was impossible. Believe me, I have tried, I have tried hard, but I was no longer fit for the society. PTSD, maybe, or just I got too used to have my hands drenched in blood, whatever shit it is, I have never been able to be Adrian again. So I just embraced what I had become: Prototip AE92890, Prototip for friends.

Killer for hire, undercover agent, soldier, terrorist, I have been everything. But the job that signed me for my life was probably the only one I did for the big shots; yeah, you know who I am talking about, the heroes of the world, or rather the self-proclaimed heroes. Worked with late Commander Reyes Gabriel and Sarge Gérard Lacroix at the Lacroix Extraction Operation; intended to be back-up, I was given a more relevant position when Commander Reyes got a taste of what I was worth. I remember that day like it was yesterday, not because I was particularly attached to that job –- or at least, I wasn’t before I met him. Clarence Duncan, daughter of James Duncan, an American senator. God, I remember those bright, baby blue eyes looking up at me in fright and confusion when we got him and Madame Amelie out of the Talon labs. I was so in fucking rapture after seeing those eyes; yes, he was sickly pale, and he smelled like that chemical miasma I grew to hate when I was detained by Beznă, he was skinny, weak, frail, unable to stand on his own, but those eyes spoke to me at a level deeper than I could have ever imagined.

Even after the mission, I kept in touch with Clarence. He knew I was a mercenary, that I risked my life out there everyday, and many times he had asked me to give up that crap and join him in a normal life but… I have already told you. I was no longer fit for society. He ended up entering my world, although from an external point of view: he became a member of Overwatch council board. I was so proud of him, watching him as he fulfilled her dreams made me foolishly think that maybe if he was by my side I could have succeeded being a civilian… we tried, after Overwatch was disbanded.  Rainy Washington D.C., a small house as far as possible from his dad he started to fall out with. Those were good days, dude: got a job as an omnic repair operator (what? no, never did it once in my life, but after all the strains they got into me to enhance my ‘brain capacity’ do you think I could care less?), he was getting into politics, he was doing good, and the bed was warm every night, if you know what I mean. He was my dream, dude--- he still is. A dream I fucking destroyed.

Blame it on the drink, blame it on the fact that I was growing restless without gripping a weapon, blame it on whatever you wish, but blame it on me. I sent everything to Hell. I guess I don’t deserve to have nice things after all, uh? I can’t keep them. He kicked my ass back to where it belonged: the dark alleys, the rot-smelling corners of the metropolis, the cold world where being Adrian would only mean being weak, the world where I can be what I need to be: Prototip.

[qtsp00k]

Hey y'all. Don't know if I mentioned but I felt a presence in my new apartment and been talking to someone who helps keep a song in my heart. Felt like it was my ego interfering when I felt like calling the presents Bruce. Cuz that's my dad's name. And then when I heard my neighbors talking about Bruce who died recently before I moved in I thought oh well I'm probably not in Bruce's apartment right. Cuz that would be a lot. And I'm a music person and a joy who's singing downstairs all the time so to hear that Bruce was a musical person who played instruments and sang in the lobby all the time is like whoa someone stepped off this plane to make room for me here. That would be a lot of synchronicity. And synchronicity is all well and good but organizations aware of synchronicity can do quite a bit to manufacture it for someone.

Well today I didn't feel anything or anyone. My dolls look like dead lifeless corpses and I was so brain dead that I just stood in my apartment and couldn't even think of where I would begin to look for the hard drive that this art is on that I'm ready to put on a shirt since Y2K.

And I kind of flipped out on my friends. That happens from time to time because my hexahedral God mind is a lot to manage and I don't know if you've looked around the world but there's a whole lot coming.

So I finally managed to get myself together and I was feeling pretty spun and just left the apartment hoping to feel better by getting out of the house you know. And I go downstairs in the mailman is just shut the big door that my mailbox is in and he sees I'm carrying a box and he compliments my shoes and just thinks I'm cool and offers to carry the box out to the recycling for me and so I let him and I take that cue from the universe to get my mail.

The nice mundane task of getting mail. Right?

NOPE hahaha fn naw bro

My mailbox is full to the brim with mail for Bruce E Levens. So not only folks am I in Bruce's apartment and the presents here is definitely Bruce and it's not me being crazy or fearful about my dad having died without my knowing it or anything like that. I just see dead people and I'm brain damaged so even though that's not new to me I react to it like it's news to me.

But on top of this I just received confirmation with some more mind fuckery sprinkled on top for good measure.

My dad, Bruce Lee's, birthday is November 11th which is 11/11. E Levens is elevens. You can't make this shit up!

and this freaks me out initially and I just fistful pack everything back into that mailbox and I shut it and I go out and I just spin out in the parking lot literally moving in circles in my power wheelchair before I go back in and I have to look at that mail again because I've already convinced myself that I didn't see what I saw and even as I'm reaching into the mailbox to get out the mail that says Bruce 11s I'm thinking I'm going to look at it again and it's going to be something close to what I mistook it for and nothing's going on here. But I pull the mail out and it says Bruce e Blevins and I have the mail with me in my hand the whole rest of my day because I need that to ground me.

The day was not over yet because my Transit service was late late late late late late late. It rerouted and it reassigned and it rerouted and it reassigned and then eventually it lands on 418 for my estimated time pick up.

and sure enough at 4:18 it arrives and it's my favorite driver. An old truck driver who retired and then needed something to wake up in the morning and go do with his life that was helping other people and he has great stories and his father is assault of the earth and he loves seeing me and he is so happy that I've moved here and I can bring joy into the lives of old people.

418 is my birthday April 18th.

Now I don't know how I'm going to feel about this tomorrow but right now I just feel like laughing about it and it's freaky and it's weird and I've known all my life that I am God and now I'm talking about it and I thinking maybe talking about it is making me beat it even more consistently then I used to.

But last night I felt pretty okay about everything in the world and went right to sleep after the Donnie Darko CD finally gave out in my system and I actually took out the CD which I never take out the skipping CD cuz I just don't have my mind about me and I don't know how to do basic things at all I'm absolutely a retard if you were observing me just absolutely retarded yo.

And I realize that I understand and have this opportunity to also set the time on my stereo system which I have not done for a decade and I look at the time and it's 8:32 32 is the number of the CD I'm holding in my hand and it has expired Donnie Darko is the movie that I wanted to see the day I got out of mental institution and my mother would not allow it because my boyfriend's name was Donnie and the day before I went wondering after I got my chore done and found myself speaking to my ex-boyfriend Donny's father for hours.

Now I don't know if it's heavenly Father or if the Illuminati has my back but someone does and it feels like I'm still moving up.

Like everything is coming to a head.

And my challenge which I accepted before incarnating on this planet in this density is to not lose my mind completely and become a non-functioning schizophrenic like the bat majority in my bloodline.

Oh and did you know the once upon a Time it wasn't planets that told you something about yourself that you needed to know concerning the month in which you were born, but demons. That's right the month you were born in is associated with a demonic presence that sabotages you for the entirety of your life.

Mine is belfigor. Belfigor gives humans great ideas and those get rich quick and easy schemes to lure them into the sin of sloth and of course luring into sin is just luring someone off of the path towards heaven and putting them on the path towards hell. And that's a very linear time frame perspective of that so when you remove that linear time frame from it when you do sinful things you are simply in hell and when you do angelic things you are simply in heaven.

So yeah I fully acknowledged in the way that I sort of have access and try to look away from future events a lot of the time because I have an omnipresence and omniscience that comes along with knowing that one is God. So in a way I knew that the friend I had who was helping me to edit my art into vector form for putting on merchandise was going to rape me. But yeah I fully got raped in order to get my art onto a t-shirt for me to wear and for me to gift to all of my friends and for you to buy.

But deeper than that this idea that I can be an artist and make money just being an artist is entirely represented as a potential future for me to look forward to and I have sat 100% ready to kill myself and the only thing stopping me was that I hadn't gotten that image onto a shirt yet.

Now I think you know well and good that I am not lazy and I am not Lord into sin because I go willingly with open eyes when I do and I don't linger long in hell, but I do sing and dance the entire time I'm there. And I hope you know by now that my trying to come up and make something of myself as an artist and my full intent to become a household name that makes everyone forget Lady Gaga is entirely fueled by my mission in life that I have had firmly since I was 6 years old.

The evolution of human consciousness. Evolution of human consciousness brings about world peace and ends suffering for all.

So I'm not even over here struggling and hustling for myself. And that's more true than ever now that I have all of my basic needs met. and I tell you I think that's what's making the difference.

The other thing making the difference is that the devil has tempted me many times with outlets and avenues that are not in alignment with highest good and are not benevolent collaborations and I have walked away from success and I have walked away from Fame and I have walked away from money over and over.

Cuz I tell you being a little girl at age 6 who knows she's God I just wanted to unknow more than anything and I wanted anything to prove me wrong so badly that everything that came before me and claimed to be above me, to be God, I stepped. I said prove I'm not God cuz one of us is mistaken and I'm still standing.

Creation is just making sure that I am who I say I am just like it should.