#my dad is coming down to my school to take me out for sushi so I could care less about drama lol

[jamestown-base]

Anyway I love my husband lalalalalalalalalalalalala

[divinedelusional]

hi!!! is there anyway you could write a like angsty season 1 Nate archibald fic where he like says a bunch of things he doesn’t mean to reader because of his dad or pressure with Blair or even anything you think of it’s up to you?? I love your fics they’re so so perfect 🤍

his darkest hour

nate archibald x fem reader

word count: 1697

warnings: angst, mentions antidepressants, nate being secretive and out of character ○ the only description of reader is that they have hair long enough to cover their face

a/n: thank you anon for sweet words and this request! i really liked it and it inspired me to turn this into three part mini series, so this is the first part! i hope you like it❤

"Nate where are you?"

"Y/N, hi, can you please come over to my place instead? Sorry, for such change, but..."

"It's okay Nate, I'll get a cab and I'll be there in five, is everything okay?" you asked, you didn't know if his voice just sounded weird on the phone, or something really was off.

"No, everything's fine" he replied, though you didn't quite believed him, you decided to drop it.

Couple minutes later you got off the cab on East 74th Street and let yourself in, as Nate texted you that doors are opened. You locked it behind you. You heard Nate coming down the stairs and heard his mom.

"Nate who is it?"

"It's me Mrs. Archibald" you said when you entered the living space after taking off your coat. Nate's mum must have been ready to go to bed even if it was only 6 pm. She was wearing a thick, bathrobe, silky pyjama pants and slippers.

"I'm sorry y/n if you'll want something from the kitchen you and Nate will have to help yourselves, I gave our maid a night off."

"It's okay, I'm sure we'll be fine, Mrs. Archibald" you noticed three pills beside her glass of water.

"Yeah mom, we're just going to study" Nate said. His mom smiled and you and Nate went to his room.

"Is she okay?" you asked. You knew Mrs. Archibald tended to rely on Valium or other medication, but she looked really tired.

"It's fine, it's just one of her migranes, she's been complaining on it lately."

"And your dad? Where is he?" you asked, again feeling like something is off.

"Oh you know him, always somewhere in business or whatever. Anyway, studying won't be done itself" Nate smiled, brushing the topic of his parents away.

"Right" you smiled back, getting the textbook out of your bag.

You quickly found out that you were suspicious for a reason. When you studied with Nate you always were reading some parts of text, revising material on your own, and then you were asking each other questions for test. You've been looking at Nate when you were supposed to read and sometimes he just was staring into one page. Then it was time for your quiz and Nate got almost all questions wrong.

"Nate?"

"What?" he asked with a tired voice rubbing his face.

"What's going on? And don't lie to me, because I know something is not right"

Nate looked at you and didn't say anything for a while.

"Practise was really tiring today you know, that's it" he said and then with sudden enthusiasm he told "We should run though this again, I'm sure I'll get this right this time". You didn't respond, just started questioning him again after short revision. This time he got everything right. You revised the rest of the material together and when you were sure you were ready for the test tomorrow Nate asked if you wanted to eat something. You both decided on sushi.

"Ugh I'm so glad this is over" Nate sighed and layed down on the carpet next to your spot, were you sat back rested against his bed.

"What is it over?" you smlied

"The study session. But it's not the worst, I just want school to be over, I didn't think the junior year will be that crazy"

"I don't think it's much crazier than previous" you smiled softly, looking down at him. He had his eyes closed and for the first time today you saw him being relaxed. You really wanted to stroke his hair, but you knew it wasn't possible. Even though you and your boyfriend called it quits two months ago, barely before the begging of school year, Nate still had things unsettled with Blair. Not like you were sure he'd want to be with you. You've been friends with him and Blair since forever so she wasn't even jealous of you spending time with her boyfriend. Although suddenly you realized that Blair wasn't as possessive of Nate as she was in the past. You were with her almost all the time at school and she was barely texting Nate this week. That was weird. Since Serena returned, Blair wanted to know where Nate was and with who, scared that he's been with her. Did something happened between your two best friends? Was it the reason why Nate seemed like he was somewhere else earlier today?

"It's just things with college and everything" Nate said.

"Why? You were so set on Dartmouth and you made a good impression at the college party, couple weeks ago."

"Well things change y/n."

"How do you mean Nate?"

"They just... ugh you know what, nevermind" Nate said "I gotta go downstairs to pick the sushi up, I don't want the delivery guy to wake my mom up"

You were left alone in his room, suddenly not hungry at all. Nate was hiding something and he didn't want to tell you and it was hurting you. You knew him since you guys were little kids, and you always were telling each other everything. It was you who Nate run to after the Shepherd's wedding when he lost his virginity to Serena. You never saw that look on his face before. He was terrified. Guilt visible in his features when he got into your room. You pulled him into a hug without asking. Then he told you what happened and lied down next to you, putting his head on your stomach as he started crying, begging you not to tell Blair. And you didn't even think of doing that. Nate's secret was safe with you. What was going on today, that he didn't want to tell you?

Nate came back with the sushi, you ate three rolls and waited untill he was finished, then you decided to ask.

"Nate what our relationship is to you?"

"Why are you asking?" he asked, his face went a little pale.

"Because I thought we were best friends and you refuse to tell me what's going on."

"Because not everything is that easy, y/n."

"You keep saying that and once everything was easy for us even when..."

"But it's not anymore y/n!" he raised his voice a little and got up off the floor.

You got up too but you didn't approach him.

"Why it isn't? What happened Nate?"

Nate groaned and looked through the window. You knew you shouldn't push him, but he never let go when you were dealing with something. And now you didn't want to leave him either, so you tried one more time, walking up to him and putting your hand on his shoulder.

"Nate, please I could help if you'd tell me..."

"But I don't want to tell you, what part of it you don't get?!!" he raised his voice at you, suddenly turning around. "There are some things I can't tell, or that I simply don't want to tell, okay?! Not everyone lives in a perfect bubble like you y/n!"

You took a step back. With anyone else you'd be ready to talk back, but not with Nate. He never acted like that and you knew that wasn't him. So you got scared and with a trembling voice you asked. "Nate what do you mean by that? Last time I checked you were rather happy with your life and how things were going"

"Yeah, but things aren't going as the were right now and until everything goes back to its place I don't want to talk about with anyone y/n"

"Of course I'm not going to... "

"No y/n!" he yelled. "By I don't want to talk about it with anyone I meant you too. Especially you" His breathing was slowing down, but anger wasn't disappearing from his eyes.

You didn't wanted to argue with him. You'd rather want to talk but he was making it clear he didn't need it right now. Didn't need to talk to you and didn't need you. He was ready for you to say something, but as you kept looking at him, he realized that you're not going to get into fight with him. You broke the eye contact and you picked up your purse. "Yeah you're right, Nate" you said with a sniffle. Your face not visible to him, as your hair covered it when you were packing up your books. "I should know my place, I'm not going to bother you anymore" you felt tear slipping down your cheek. Still hiding your face you said "good luck on history test tomorrow." You were just about to head out, when you felt Nate's hand on your wrist.

"Y/N, please" his voice desperate this time.

You raised your head to look at him and he saw you tear strained cheeks and let go of your wrist.

"Y/N I didn't want to..."

"Don't, Nate" you said, barely able to let words out, swallowing your tears. "I'm sorry, I have to go back to my perfect bubble now, but..." your voice trembled uncontrollably, you took one last look at his face "but when you wanna be honest, you know where to find me". With those words you run down the stairs and didn't look back.

"Y/N! Wait! Please I didn't mean it like that!" you heard Nate calling you and running downstairs too, but you were already at the door with your shoes and coat on, as run outside, hoping that a cab will be nearby.

When Nate made it outside, you weren't there anymore. He saw a cab disappearing. Archibald's didn't have a doorman so he couldn't ask where you head off. He sat on the stairs, not caring about cold wind. He buried his face in his hands wondering why he acted like such a jerk. He knew one thing. He had to come up with a plan to make it up to you and tell you everything he should've told you today. He got up and came into the house wondering how he'd do that because he had no one to turn to. He brushed this thought away. It was his mess and he had to clean it up.

next part

reblogs and comments highly appreciated♡

natie's taglist: @lanawinterscigarettes @luluartpop if anyone else wants to be added please let me know

[w0rmss]

Dinner with Roy harper (nsfw)

This is just roy harper eating you out cause I can.

Also feel free to request something my inbox is empty :(

Tw: oral sex (f) afab reader and roy has a tongue piercing cause I'm a slut for roy harper covered in piercings okay

Enjoy

You knew dating a single dad wasn't going to be easy, but you loved roy and lian and could image a world without them. That being said date nights were rare between lian and roy being gone for missions so often the two of you rarely had time for just the two of you. Date nights were non existent sex was quick and quiet while lian was asleep or the rare times you were both home while she was at school. Tonight though it was just the two of you.

Lian was at a friend's for a sleep over roy had made sure no one was to call him unless aliens were invading and even then. And you turned off your phone amd work things ready for a night of just the two of you. "What take out do you want." You call to him from the kitchen looking at all the menus. "Thia pizza sushi Indian." Then you feel him come up behind you wrapping his strong arms around you. Next thing you know you've been turned around and lifted onto the counter top. "You." You grins and kisses you hard.

Your hands grab at his hair tugging him closers as he makes his was down your body. He's stripped you and played you down on the counter like you're his whole meal. "Roy." You gasp as you feel his breath hot against your soaked pussy. He grins placing a kiss to the sensitive area before moving to kiss along your thighs. You whine tugging at his hair once again trying to bring him back to your aching cunt. "Be patient. I'm trying to savour my meal here baby." The red head looks up at you with a shit eating grin. You want to kill him and fuck him at the same time when he gets that look. "You're enjoying this too much roy." You grumble which turns into a loud moan when the man finally takes you swollen clit into his mouth with a happy hum.

One thing about roy harper is he's good at what he does. Archery crime fighting being a dad. And God is this man good at eating you out. He knows exactly when to kiss to nip to lick to suck and you see stars the whole way. Your fingers and threaded so deep into his hair you're afraid you might rip out his scalp. "Roy please fuck fuck." You moan and writhe against his face earning a chuckle from the man below you. His tongue piercing only adds to the pleasure the feeling of the metal against your entrance mixed with his expert tongue makes your head spin.

Your legs start shaking hips start bucking and it's taking everything in you not to crush his head with your thighs. "Come on baby. Come for me." His voice is low but sweet and with one last suck of your clit and stoke of your thigh you're done for. Your thighs calmp around his head shaking. Your hands pull his head further into you as your hips buck while his tongue never once stops is onslaught on your pussy.

Once you've calmed down enough for him to pry your thighs off his head roy takes his time licking up every last drop of your release moaning at the taste. "So fucking good." You let out a breathless sigh your head falling against the counter as you let him and his tongue clean you up.

Roy harper eats pussy like it's his job and he is too fucking good at it.

Hope you enjoyed

Feel free to request something rules are up

Have a wonderful day night afternoon etc

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Eleven

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, suggestive? word count: 2.3k a/n: sorry this one is shorter than i wanted it to be but i have sm planned for this series y'all i’m COOKIN

pov: layla

"What?" I asked, scooping my first bite of ice cream out of the tub.

He shrugged, following my actions of taking a scoop of ice cream into his mouth before saying, "Twenty-one questions?"

"Are we in middle school?" I asked with an eyebrow raised and a small smile on my lips.

"Come on it's just so I can know more about you," he smiled at me and I rolled my eyes, scooping more ice cream into my mouth.

"Fine," I mumbled, swallowing the ice cream before I looked at him again, "You start since you wanna play so bad."

"What's your favourite food?" he asked as he placed another mouthful of ice cream in his mouth.

"Ramen noodles," I answered with a nod and he gave me a confused look, "What? They're cheap and they taste amazing."

"I was just expecting like pizza or sushi or something. Not ramen noodles," he chuckled as I shook my head.

"What's your favourite colour?" I asked, directing the conversation back to our little game.

"Blue," he answered quickly and I scoffed, "What?"

"That's such a basic answer. At least give me a specific shade of blue," I rolled my eyes playfully and he squinted his eyes at me.

Silence fell over us for a moment before he said, "The hoodie you wore to the game."

"What?" I asked, taking another scoop of ice cream into my mouth.

"The hoodie you wore to the game. That's my favourite shade of blue," he explained and I chewed on my bottom lip before he reached forward, pulling my bottom lip out of my teeth with his thumb before he mumbled, "You're gonna make yourself bleed again."

My eyes met his as he kept his hand under my chin and I felt my face heat up, my cheeks turning a light tint of red. I dropped my eyes back to the bed sheets in front of me and he pulled his hands away from my chin.

"It's your turn," I mumbled and he cleared his throat, leaning his back against the wall once again.

"Do you have any siblings?" he asked, resuming the game once more.

I nodded my head, placing my spoon in the middle of the tub of ice cream, "I have an older sister."

"How old is she?" he asked and I looked at him, making a fake serious face.

"It's not your turn, pretty boy," I deadpanned and he chuckled as he nodded, "Do you have a favourite parent?"

"No of course not," he shook his head, "I spend the most time with my dad but I love them both the same amount."

"That's cute," I let my smile peak through my lips as I bent my knees, pulling them towards my chest. His eyes flashed down to my thighs and I bit my lip, realising my shorts looked a lot shorter at this angle.

"How old is your sister?" he asked and I looked down at the bed sheets again.

"She's twenty-nine, eleven years older than me. I haven't seen her since I was 6," I shrugged, picking at the lint on the bedsheet.

"Why's that?" he asked cautiously and I leaned my cheek on my right knee, my face turned towards him as I spoke.

"She ran away. I talked to her through emails until I was 13 but my dad found out. She said for both of our safety it would just be better to not talk," I explained, a sad smile covering my face and his face softened as he looked at me.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, a comforting smile on his lips, "My brother is only 6 years older than us but he went to college when I was 12, he moved out for that and never came back. We only really see him on Christmas now."

"Are you close with him still?" I asked, chewing on my lip before grabbing my spoon from the tub and taking another scoop into my mouth.

He shrugged, following my actions before saying, "We try to talk but he works all the time."

"It's good that you still try," I shrugged and he smiled while nodding.

"What's your favourite subject in school?" he asked as I stabbed the spoon back in the tub.

"English," I responded, looking up to see him smirking at me, "It's the easiest subject. Don't get too cocky now."

He hummed in response, a smirk still evident on his lips, "Sure, sure."

My mind drifted to the night at Downs, my thoughts swirling with worry and I looked down at the covers before asking, "You know how we went to Downs?"

"Yeah?" he asked, a questioning tone underlying his words.

"Did I like... go too far?" I asked, my nervousness clearly showing as I refused to look at him.

"What do you mean?" he questioned and I sighed, feeling uncomfortable expressing my worry but for the sake of my sanity, I needed to know.

"Like, with the whole phone thing. I didn't, like, make you uncomfortable or anything?" I picked at the lint on the covers and I heard a chuckle emit from his mouth, making me look up at him.

"Were you thinking that this whole time?" he asked with a smile on his face and I shrugged in response, "I wouldn't have done it if it made me uncomfortable. It's fine."

"You sure?" I double-checked, chewing on my lip nervously and he leaned forward, pulling my lip out of my teeth again with his thumb.

"Positive," he nodded and I bit the inside of my cheek, hiding my smile, "Can I be honest?"

"Would be pissed if you weren't," I quipped and he smirked at me.

"I kinda liked it," he admitted and I raised my eyebrows, pulling my knees closer to my chest.

"You're such a guy," I rolled my eyes, ignoring the excitement in my stomach as he looked at me.

"I have a real guy question for you," he announced, placing his spoon in the ice cream tub, "What's your body count?"

"You've gotta be fucking with me," I giggled, shaking my head in disbelief, "Contrary to popular belief, it's zero."

"Wait, what?" he looked at me with genuine confusion and I smiled, nodding my head, "You've never..."

"Yes, Matthew. I've never had sex. I am a virgin. Any other way you want me to say it?" I blandly stated with a smile and he raised his eyebrows.

"Wow," he had a downturned smile on his lips.

"Why's that so shocking?" I asked, amusement still on my face.

"Just is," he shrugged, avoiding my gaze now and I squinted my eyes at him, "You're just very pretty. I can't imagine it would be hard for you to get with someone."

I felt heat creep onto my face and I looked down at my thighs, "Thanks but that's not really why I haven't done it."

"Why then?" he asked, his nosiness making me amused in a way.

"I've just never really been into physical touch shit. I don't even like when people hug me," I explained as I looked at him again.

"You seem fine when I hug you," he pointed out, a smirk on his face again.

"You're the exception to the rule I guess," I shrugged, a small smile on my lips, "I feel like it's only fair to ask what your body count is then."

"It's four," he answered shortly and I raised my eyebrows, "Two of them were girlfriends."

"And the other two?" I asked now being the nosy one.

"Random hookups I regret to this day," he replied honestly and I nodded, "Do you ever think about it?"

"Think about what?" I asked, letting my legs slide out in front of me

"Ya know..." he trailed off and I smirked, waiting for him to say it as I gave him a questioning look, "Doing it."

"Doing what?" I asked, an obvious smirk on my face now and he gave me a deadpanned look.

"Having sex. Ya happy now that I said it?" he asked with a roll of his eyes and I giggled, pulling my sleeves over my hands since the cold hair nipped at them.

"I am a human, Matthew. Of course I've thought about sex," I smiled at him with amusement and he shrugged his shoulders.

"You could be asexual for all I know," he stated and I shook my head.

"Nope," I answered quickly before I took a breath in and said quietly, "I am bi though."

"Oh that's dope," he nodded and I let my tense shoulders relax, "Why did you look so worried?"

"Because you're a straight man. I was expecting some sort of whack-ass comment," I told him honestly and he frowned.

"I'm a straight man but I'm not fucking weird," he replied and I nodded, looking down at my phone to see it was already 9:30 pm.

"You think they're done in the living room?" I asked, looking back up to him and he shrugged, quickly crawling off the end of the bed.

"I'll check," he walked out of the room, leaving his door open and I took that as an opportunity to look around his room. He had a few art pieces on the walls all of which related to either music or nature. His room was clean and organised, the complete opposite of mine. There were very few clothes on the floor, all of which looked like pyjamas.

I heard footsteps up the stairs before he reappeared at the door and I asked, "They there?"

He shook his head, picking up a few clothes off the ground, "Nah. I'm gonna go get changed in the bathroom. You want some sweats or something?"

"Uh, I can't really sleep in full pants. It's super uncomfortable," I gave him an apologetic smile and he opened one of his two wooden drawers, pulling something out before throwing it into my lap.

"That work?" he asked and I picked up the black shorts that looked like they would never fit Matt, not even sure they would fit me, "They're Allie's. She leaves her shit here all the time so I just keep it in my room."

"Yeah that should be fine, thanks," I nodded and he smiled, opening another drawer to throw me another item of clothing, this one significantly bigger than the shorts he'd given me.

"What are you gonna wear to school tomorrow if you sleep in your only shirt?" he asked, a smirk on his face and I pursed my lips before nodding. With that, he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

I quickly slid into the clothes he gave me, making a small pile of my clothes next to my bag and shoes. I grabbed my phone checking for any notifications but it was blank. With a sigh, I locked in again and there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," I called out and the door opened to reveal Matt now in a white wife-beater and blue plaid pyjama pants, "Allie is like half my size as you can see by the shorts."

I pointed to my thighs which were covered by the black shirt, hiding the fact that I was wearing shorts that could be mistaken for underwear and he gave me an apologetic, "I don't really have any comfortable shorts."

"It's fine. Your shirt's long enough," I shrugged, looking down at the white writing on the shirt which read 'Ransom', "Are their blankets and stuff on the couch?"

"Uh yeah," he answered, sounding confused as he threw his clothes on his gaming chair that was in front of his desk.

"Cool," I stood up and he frowned, moving to stand in front of the door.

"What do you mean 'cool'? I'm sleeping on the couch," he stated and I crossed my arms over my chest giving him an unimpressed look.

"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch, Matthew. Sleep in your own bed," I told him as I went to walk past him but he blocked me from walking into the hallway, shutting the door with his foot.

"I practically made you stay here. Sleep in the bed, Layls," he demanded and I shook my head.

"I'm not sleeping on the bed if you're sleeping on the couch," I told him stubbornly.

"You wanna sleep on the couch together or what?" he asked sarcastically but there was a small voice in the back of my head telling me that wasn't an awful idea.

"No. I want you to sleep in your own bed," I stated again.

"And I want you to sleep in my bed," he repeated and I huffed, pulling my hair out of its ponytail.

"Guess we're both sleeping in your bed then," I shrugged, walking back to the bed. He turned around to open the door and I spoke loudly, "You go down to that couch Matthew and I'm punching you in the nuts."

"Why are you so adamant about this?" he asked as he turned around to look at me again as I sat on the edge of the bed, ruffling my hair so it would sit on my shoulders better.

"Because," I shrugged, not really knowing why I cared about this so much, "I already feel like I'm intruding in your house. I would feel even worse if you had to sleep on the couch."

"I'm fine to sleep on the co-"

"Matthew," I cut him off, making him purse his lips and stare at me, "Get on the fucking bed."

"God, you're so stubborn," he mumbled, flicking off the lights before turning on his lamp that was on the bedside table. He plugged his phone into the charger before jumping past me to lie down on the side that was against the wall.

"I could say the same for you, pretty boy," I mumbled as I placed my phone next to his, not bothering to ask for a charger. I slid under the covers, the soft material gliding over my bare skin.

"You want a pillow here?" he asked making me turn to my left to see him holding a pillow in between us.

"Up to you," I shrugged and he hesitated before placing the pillow back behind his head.

A silence fell over us and the only sounds being heard were our breathing. I lay staring at the ceiling for a moment but I felt eyes on me. I didn't have to turn my head to know he was looking at me.

Instead, I just mumbled, "Go to sleep Matthew."

I heard him chuckle before he shifted to get under the covers and replied with, "Goodnight, Layls."

tags:

@ilovechrissturniolo1 @leprechaunbirthdaygirl @sturnfix @lilsstvrn @sturniololol

[cookies-over-yonder]

i will cut you down to the middle with my own teeth

There's another dance at Teen High, and Taylor asks Link to go with him. The two go together and finally spend a night being normal teens doing normal teen things.

[title from Crazy For You from Rockabye by Sushi Soucy aka one of my other special interests!!! i highly recommend!!!!!!!!! :3]

ao3

✧*｡♡｡*✧

"Let me fix your tie."

"I'll straighten out the blazer."

"I don't need your heeellp…" Link whines as his dads fix him up.

There's another school dance at Teen High, but this time, Link is attending it for fun.

It's nice to get to be a normal teenager every once in a while.

"Yes you do," Grant says, fiddling with the little bowtie on Link's collar, "it's all crooked."

"Maybe I like it that way."

Grant looks up at Link, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, fine, I don't."

"I still think it's weird that you need a date to attend these, but who are you going with?" Marco asks.

"Taylor asked me."

"Oooh," they both say, simultaneously.

"What is it?" Link asks, a little annoyed, because every time they act like this, it confuses him to no end.

"You like him, don't you?" Marco asks, handing him a pair of black stud earrings.

"Well, yeah, obviously," Link answers, putting them in, "he's my best friend? Why are you looking at each other like that?"

Grant and Marco have this look they always share when Link talks about Taylor. It's weird, and it comes with a little smile from both of them, like they have some sort of secret about him.

But that doesn't make any sense.

"It's nothing," Grant says.

"You'll figure it out," Marco adds.

Link isn't sure he will.

-

Taylor walks in with his arm wrapped around Link's; he's a date that won't ditch him for the popular kids' private dance.

Link's wearing a white suit with a little black bow tie that matches his nails. (Taylor painted them when Link came over to pick him up.)

It's cute, and complements Taylor's white button up with a black blazer over top of it. He decided to go classy today, and it seems to be working quite smoothly.

It's rather bright in here, with lights in pinks and purples and blues, and the music is a little loud, but it's not too bad. The dance is in the gym this time around, rather than the caf, and it smells like sweat.

The two greet their friends before venturing further into the sea of students and onto the dance floor.

"I don't really know how to dance," Taylor admits.

"That's okay," Link says, clasping his hand and bringing a hand to the small of his back. "Follow my lead."

"Uh…" Taylor shakes away the heat from his face and brings his free hand to hover over Link's shoulder. "Do I…"

Link takes his hand off Taylor's back and places it over Taylor's, guiding it down to touch his shoulder.

"I took ballroom dancing classes with my dads when I was younger," he says, returning his hand to Taylor's back and pulling him closer. Taylor sucks in a breath.

"Why?"

"They were taking them, and I was lonely."

Taylor glances down at his feet. Link's are so confident and steady, and Taylor's sure he'll stumble with his mediocre coordination.

"Taylor, you're fine," Link says, putting a hand under his chin and tilting his head up ever so slightly until they lock eyes.

"Yeah, okay," Taylor says in nearly a whisper, because wow, this lighting makes Link look really pretty.

And his grip is firm but not too tight, and he's gentle but strong, and his eyes are brown, and bright, and mesmerizing, and Taylor forgets to move his feet for a second—

"Whoa!" Taylor throws his arms around Link's neck to catch himself, and Link is quick to steady him with arms on his back. "Shit, sorry."

"Don't worry. You okay?"

He is okay, but for a second, it's impossible to speak, because Link is looking at him with his princely, protective gaze, and it's something so overwhelming. Taylor feels the heat in his cheeks once more—he must be bright red, but hopefully the mood lighting is enough to cover it up.

Taylor nods, eyes wide.

And the song changes.

Oh, god.

It's a slow song.

"Hey, we're already in position," Link says, and he smiles the prettiest smile; soft, confident, and unbelievably cute .

"Mm, yeah."

Taylor loosens his grip a little and leans closer—wait, maybe he's not supposed to—would it put them off balance?

But then Link rests his chin atop Taylor's head, and Taylor lets himself rest against Link's chest, and they're swaying side to side, which is way easier than what they were doing before.

Link smells nice. He smells like flowers, and fruit, and freshly cut grass?

The fabric of his suit is nice and soft, it's not stiff like most that Taylor tried on before settling for an old button up.

This is… nice.

It's peaceful.

Taylor's been more tense than usual lately; he can feel it. But here, and now, in Link's arms and in his protection…

He feels safe.

And warm.

"Hey," Taylor mumbles into Link's chest, "if you took classes, do you know how to twirl people?"

"Yeah. You wanna be spun?"

"Fuck yeah."

Link holds Taylor's hand and spins him around, and Taylor giggles, and when Link catches him, he's grinning too.

But then the song changes, and it's fast, and loud, and Taylor gets shoved a little from someone dancing behind him. He doesn't really recognize the song, but most of the student body seems to, and they're shouting lyrics, and Taylor stumbles into Link a little, and Link is saying something, but Taylor can't hear it.

Link holds Taylor's hand, and he's leading him somewhere, and Taylor's face is hot again, and they're outside, and in the dark hallways of the school at night, and—

"Taylor, breathe."

Oh.

He sucks in a breath, and it's a little hard, and his head is a little rattled, and okay, it was definitely too loud in there.

"Right—" he clears his throat, and his collar is a little too tight, and this ribbon around it is cute as hell, but a little suffocating, and he's trying to untie it, but his fingers are a little shaky, and he fumbles with it, and—

"Here," Link says, soft and careful and gentle like his fingers over Taylor's, and he's pulling Taylor's hands away, and oh, he's untying the ribbon, and his gaze is fixed on Taylor's collar, and he's got this look of determination, and focus, and he's got little beads of sweat dripping down his forehead, and Taylor finds his breath catching for a different reason—

And Link's hands pull away, and he's holding the ribbon out to Taylor, and it's dark, but his eyes are bright, and warm, and he's looking at Taylor expectantly, and, ah, right.

Taylor takes the ribbon and stuffs it into his blazer pocket.

"It's—uh, loud," he breathes out, fiddling with the top couple of buttons on his shirt, "In there."

Taylor's sweaty hands do not mesh well with plastic buttons, he finds, but he decides maybe it's not so bad, because now Link's hands are on him again, carefully unbuttoning, and good god , Taylor's face is on fire .

-

"Is that better?" Link asks, after undoing the first couple of buttons on Taylor's shirt.

"What?" Taylor breathes out, and it's small, and quick, and Link looks up to meet his eyes and they've got a gaze that's new, half lidded, and running up and down, and his breathing is still a little unsteady so—

"Let's sit down, maybe," Link says, and they do, and Taylor is leaning against Link, and his tail carefully snakes around Link's torso, squeezing ever so slightly.

"Mm," is all Taylor hums, curling up further against Link's side as Link runs a hand through his hair.

His eyes are closed, and his breathing steadies out.

"You okay?" Link asks, and Taylor looks up at him.

"I'm good," he says, "but—ah," he averts his gaze, "I don't wanna go back in yet."

"D'you wanna go home?"

"No!" Taylor draws back a little, maybe shocked by his own volume. "I mean. Can we just stay out here for a while?"

"Yeah, sure," Link answers, and Taylor crawls into his lap. It's not the first time he's done this, and it definitely won't be the last. The way he always tends to curl up in Link's embrace—this time with a little hum—is something Link could never get tired of. It's cute.

"These dances look a lot more fun in anime," Taylor says, pressing his face against Link's chest.

"Ah, sorry—"

"No!" Taylor looks up at Link with wide eyes, "You're perfect—I mean, you—you were good. You're… um… nice."

Link chuckles, and Taylor buries his face in his chest again with a little whine.

"You're nice too, Tay."

Taylor mumbles some approximation of "thank you" into Link's chest, and a few seconds later he pulls his face away once more.

"I just mean, like, the noise," he says, "and people," he adds, starting to trace shapes onto Link's chest with his index finger, almost as if to say not you, though .

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It's pretty overwhelming," Link says, starting to card his fingers through Taylor's hair. It's warm and oily, but still somewhat soft.

"Mm," Taylor hums, almost melting into the touch.

"What's on your mind?" Link asks.

"You smell nice," Taylor blurts out instantly.

"Ha—uh, really?" Link stutters out. He'd borrowed Marco's cologne, but after all the dancing, and heat, and sweat, it's surely worn off by now.

"Yeah," Taylor says, and he starts carefully running his fingers down Link's chest, and it's so light, and gentle, and oh god, Link feels his breath catch with what Taylor says next.

"You look really good… in this… suit," he says, almost whispering, and Taylor's gaze flickering up and down is practically burning the fabric of it, and his fingertips might as well be sharp as blades cutting his heart open and revealing what's inside.

"Yeah?" Link asks, small and weaker than it should be, because Taylor is eyeing him in such a way he thinks he might forget his own name.

"Mmhmm…" Taylor's hands snake their way up to Link's shoulders and around his neck, and his eyes are half-lidded and glowing, and they've done that for a while, but right now it's so intense and fiery, and their eyes are locked on each other, and Link doesn't think he could ever look away.

Taylor's the first to break eye contact; his fiery gaze flickers down, and up, and back down again, and he's so close, Link can feel the hot and ragged breaths against his face.

Fingernails graze the back of Link's neck and sneak beneath his collar ever so slightly, and Link feels a little, involuntary squeak escape the back of his throat.

The nails dig in a little, and Link's eyes land on Taylor's lips, bruised and bitten. He's biting his lower lip with his fangs, and the sharp tips are a little red and blood-stained, and ah—there's a little blood trickling down his chin, and Link lifts his thumb up to wipe it, and Taylor lets out a small gasp at the contact.

Link ends up smearing the blood more than anything, but now he's cupping Taylor's face, and the little "mm" sound that Taylor makes causes Link's breath to catch once more.

Taylor leans in a little closer and his eyes flutter shut as he melts into Link's palm.

He's got this red eyeshadow on with little flecks of gold glitter scattered about, increasing in concentration toward the inner corners of his eyelids, and black winged eyeliner that ties the look together.

Pink blush highlights his cheeks, and there's little black hearts that look like face paint, but are probably eyeliner, decorating his cheekbones, and his lips are bruised but still tinted pink ever so slightly from the lip gloss Link has seen him wear many times before, and especially tonight.

It's dark out here, and the floor is cold, but Taylor is warm, and god , he is so, so pretty .

His voice is somehow sharp and smooth simultaneously, and his stuttering breaths have Link feeling a little dizzy, and—

Wait.

"What was that?" Link whispers, and Taylor opens his glowing, mesmerizing eyes, burning Link's lips with his gaze, and then meeting his eyes with a look of something that could only be described as hunger .

"I said," he says, running his eyes up and down once more, so slowly, and running his fingernails up the back of Link's neck, "I wanna kiss you," he whispers, " so bad. "

Link brings a hand to slip between Taylor's locks of hair and tuck some stray strands behind his ear. "Oh yeah?" he breathes out.

Taylor inches closer, and his lips are so, so close.

"Yeah," he whispers against Link's lips, and Link thinks he might feel the tiniest bit of dried skin brush against them ever so slightly.

And Link feels himself slide into a bit of a smirk, seeing Taylor's longing and the way he's about to fall over with the way he's leaning into Link, and he's so warm, and so cute .

Link has experience with kissing. In a past—well, simulated—life he had done it many times, and, well, he doesn't know Taylor's entire history, but Link is willing to bet he himself has more experience.

And, ah, the way Taylor's disheveled hair frames his face, the way his eyes glow and fill Link with this warmth he didn't know he needed, and his lips, his lips… and oh…

Link wants this.

Link knows he wants this.

He'll make sure it's slow, and comfortable, and okay for Taylor to ease into.

And he caresses Taylor's cheek with his thumb, and whispers:

" Do it, then. "

Taylor is all over him in a second.

Their lips lock, and Taylor's grip is stronger, and the pressure is so intense, and fiery, and passionate—it's like Taylor's got this insatiable desire he's desperate to fulfill.

And he bites Link's lip, and a similar squeak from earlier escapes him again, and he finds himself quickly toppling over and feeling the cold floor against his back with Taylor, eagerly as ever, still pressing lips against his.

Whoa.

He bites again, and then he pulls away ever so slightly to catch his breath, and he's grinning like mad, with stains on his fangs of blood that Link thinks might be his.

"Whoa," Link whispers.

"You okay?" Taylor asks, wide-eyed.

His hair falls past the sides of his face and tickles Link's cheeks, and his eyes are so bright, and his lips are redder, and he's still grinning, though it looks like he's fighting it in favour of concern, and…

"I… uh-huh…"

And then, Taylor licks the blood off his fangs and dips down again, and Link, hands on the back of his neck, pulls him further to close the gap.

-

Kissing Link is like being embraced by an angel, and showered in light, and love, and comfort, and safety.

Link holds him with a grip somehow simultaneously gentle and strong, careful and firm. It's a way that matches his demeanor and values and everything he is and everything about him that Taylor could ever love.

Soft fingertips trail along Taylor's scalp as another hand cups his cheek, kissing it at every pause for air. Every little kiss on his cheeks, his forehead, his nose, his neck, his lips feels like another ' you're safe ' and another ' you look cute '...

And when he looks Link in the eyes again… what he's met with is something so soft and genuine in his shining, half lidded gaze of adoration, something… ah… something that says…

' I love you. '

Taylor starts copying Link by kissing him all over his face, accompanying it with a vocalized "mwah" each time, and the way Link chuckles, and the soft smile on his face feel like honey dripping into Taylor's bloodstream, making everything slow, and warm, and viscous, and sweet.

-

Taylor's always been a fireball of excited energy, but especially here, and especially now .

With each kiss, his smile is so bright and raw and real, and his tail swishes back and forth like a little metronome, counting every stuttering beat of Link's flustered heart.

Link kisses Taylor's forehead again, and he giggles a little and copies the act onto Link, and then he giggles more, and it's so infectious, Link is laughing too, and Taylor bites his lip like he's trying to suppress it, and his eyes are crinkled in the corners with glee, and the sound of his laugh is so vibrant and sweet, and Link has this feeling rising in his chest that he'll surely be craving that sound for days to come.

Taylor rolls over and lands on his back beside Link on the floor, snaking his arm around Link's and interlocking their fingers.

He's looking up at the ceiling with a hand lingering over his mouth, whether it's to cover the laughter or revel in what transpired on his lips, Link isn't sure, but he turns over and plants another kiss on Taylor's cheek.

Taylor shuts his eyes and covers his face with a little excited squeak, and Link can see him bouncing his heels against the floor, in black sneakers that aren't as dressy as Link's rather uncomfortable white dress shoes, but they suit his outfit perfectly.

"You're cute when you're flustered," Link says as Taylor blushes furiously.

He makes an indecipherable noise of acknowledgement before saying, "It's cold out here."

"I'm hot," Link says.

Taylor brings his hand back down to rest on his chest and turns to face Link with an attempt at slyness and a smirk, not quite achieving it with how he's red as a tomato and still slightly giggly.

" Yeah you are ," he says, before immediately bursting into laughter.

In a second, Link is laughing too. And they're laughing together for what feels like forever condensed into a few mere minutes, and Link is wiping away tears of mirth as he asks:

"Do you think anyone saw us?"

"Nah," Taylor answers, sitting up and gesturing toward the gym doors, "everyone's still in there dancing it out."

Link sits up too. The gym doors are open, and the lights are still flickering, and flashing, and colour-changing, and Link is glad they left when they did, because he's not sure whether he would have been able to handle it either.

"Mm, my legs hurt," Taylor says, still catching his breath, "but I think I left my cane in—"

Link picks up his cane from where he left it, lying on the ground against the lockers, and hands it to Taylor.

"I grabbed it before we left."

Taylor smiles and puts it on his lap, and then, despite not quite having caught his breath yet, he leans in, cups Link's face, and kisses him again.

"Thank you!" he says, chipper as ever.

Link kisses him back.

"You're welcome."

"You know," Taylor starts, before kissing Link again, for longer, and pulling away when he's out of air, "you should teach me how to dance. Like. Away from all of this."

"I can do that."

Taylor's eyes light up like a million stars, and he blinks, and Link notices they're rather droopy.

"Do you wanna go home now?" he asks, only for Taylor to cuddle up against him and bury his face against his chest.

"Noooo…" he whines.

"Aren't you tired?" Link asks, carding his fingers through Taylor's hair.

"Wanna sleep here…"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why?"

"First of all, we're at school. Second of all, we're on the floor. Not a very comfy place to sleep, right?"

"You're comfy," Taylor mumbles, snuggling closer.

"Come on, don't fall asleep on me, we gotta go home."

"Mmm," Taylor hums.

Link carefully slips his phone out of his pocket and texts his dads that they're ready for pickup.

Be there in five , Marco texts back almost instantly.

"Taylor, come on, let's go to the entrance. My dads are on their way."

"Sleepy…" Taylor mumbles, not moving at all.

Link sighs with a bit of fondness, and shifts to pick Taylor up before standing.

"Mmm, you're my pillow now."

"Until we get to the car, sure," Link says, knowing full well Taylor will be using him as a pillow the whole ride home.

They're outside by the time his dads pull up in front of the school, and Grant slips out of the passenger's side to grab Taylor's cane from where it was dangling off of Link's arm to put it under the seats in the back.

Link puts Taylor in the back and slips in beside him, buckling their belts. Taylor's head is on his shoulder immediately.

Marco and Grant only exchange words with each other, so as not to disturb Taylor's sleep, Link guesses.

With his head against the window and eyes only a crack open, Link finally sees the Swift household come into view.

"We're here," Marco says, parking the car in front of the driveway.

"Taylor, wake up, we're here," Link nudges his shoulder a little. He sits up, blinking blearily and rubbing his eyes.

"Okay," he mumbles, and Link passes him his cane before opening the door and helping him out.

He shuts the door behind them, resolving to walk Taylor to the door.

Once they get to the doorstep, Taylor turns to face Link.

"I had fun," he says.

"Me too."

Link sees Taylor's gaze flickering back down to his lips for a second, and back to his eyes, and he says:

"I just want one more thing."

"What's that?"

Taylor stands on his tip-toes and kisses Link on the cheek, then he backs away ever so slightly, and stares at Link's lips.

After having done this once, Link's got an idea of what's to come, and he puts his hands on Taylor's waist—like they're dancing again—and Taylor's resting his arms on Link's shoulders, letting them stretch out and his hands dangle behind his back.

And Link pulls him closer, dipping him ever so slightly, and slotting their lips together like pieces of a puzzle.

Taylor's arms slowly slide off his shoulders, and his hands are cupping Link's face, and then they're sneaking around the back of his neck, and they both pull away to catch their breath before melting back into each other, and god, the feeling of Taylor's lips on his is something so enthralling, so sweet, so fiery, so sharp, so soft, so, so, so many things, and Taylor's hands are sliding down his neck and onto his back and holding his hips and kiss after kiss feels more exhilarating than any soccer goal Link has ever scored, and Taylor kisses his cheek, and his chin, and his fangs graze the skin of his neck, and it sends shivers down his spine, but in a good, good way, and—

A car horn blares from the street.

Oh, shit.

Link pulls away and looks over at the noise.

Grant and Marco are in the car, staring .

"Oh, fuck ," Link says, and Taylor bursts out laughing.

"Oh my god," he says through the laughter, face flushed, "um, can you tell them I say thank you for the ride?"

"Yeah, okay, I think they'll be asking a lot about you in a few seconds," Link says, voice raising in pitch and speed toward the end.

Taylor goes to unlock the door, and Link hesitantly starts down to the driveway.

"Bye, Link! Good luck!" Taylor shouts before slipping inside.

Link turns around to wave before continuing to the car and sucking in a breath and bracing himself.

He opens the door, and before he's even seated, he says:

"Not a word ."

"Well, that was something," Marco says immediately.

"Oh my god, stop ."

"Hey, we support it, Taylor's a nice kid, just be safe alright?" Grant adds.

Link buries his head in his hands, feeling his stomach drop.

This might be the most mortifying moment of his entire life.

No, this is definitely the most mortifying moment of his entire life.

"And, hey, if you ever need advice on certain things, like, we're here to talk whenever, and provide whatever you need," Grant continues, and it's soft and genuine, and maybe a little nice despite everything, and considering all that it took to get their relationship to where it is now.

"Thanks… I guess," Link says, softening a little.

"Like, if you ever need cond—"

"Yep, okay, great! I won't be needing anything!"

Good god .

"Alright, but if you do—"

"New topic! Now."

Why does this car ride feel hours long? If Taylor were here he'd probably still be laughing, with his cute little giggles and his slightly crooked smile, and sharp fangs, and sparkling eyelids, and flushed cheeks, and pursed, pink lips and—

"Okay… how was the dance?" Marco chimes in after letting Grant embarrass him further.

"It was… really nice," Link breathes out, but is he really thinking about the dance? Or is he thinking about Taylor in the hallway, cuddling up against him, gazing into his eyes, pinning him down against the floor—

"Did Taylor have fun?" Grant asks, with a small teasing lilt to his voice that Link pretends not to notice.

He got overstimulated, he tripped and almost fell, we had the most fun out in the hall…

Of all the options, Link chooses to say:

"Yeah, he did. Oh yeah, he told me to tell you guys thanks for the ride."

"No problem," Marco says.

At last, they're home, and Link is the first out of the car. He turns around and watches as his dads step out, and thinks of something that's better to say now than before it's too late:

" Please don't be weird around Taylor."

Grant puts up his hands as if to surrender, and he shares a look with Marco.

It's that same look from earlier this evening, the same shared secret, but suddenly, Link thinks he might understand it.

Had they known this was coming?

The thought manages to embarrass Link even more, and he's turning around, making his way to the door, and taking the bowtie off because it's a little tight… and he remembers untying Taylor's ribbon around his collar earlier, and undoing the top few buttons on his shirt, and sitting on the floor with him in his lap, and—

"Link?" Marco calls.

The door is open, and Grant and Marco are already inside, ah—

"Coming," Link says, and as he walks in he clears his throat, because his voice is a little less steady than he'd like it to be.

What a night.

-

"Oh yeah, congrats you guys," Normal says at the lunch table, looking at Taylor and Link.

It's the day after the dance, and Taylor, barely keeping his head up off the table, is wondering why anyone ever thought it would be a good idea to have an evening event on a school night.

It was fun though.

Really, really fun.

"On what?" Link asks.

Taylor is wondering the same.

"On your relationship!" he clarifies, chipper as ever.

Suddenly Taylor is wide awake.

" What? " he chokes out.

"We saw you two lip-locked in the hall last night," Scary chimes in.

Taylor feels the heat rush to his face, and he exchanges a wide-eyed look with Link.

They didn't think anyone was watching…

"Those suits better not have been rentals," Hermie adds, which does not help.

Scary chuckles a bit before saying, "Anyway. What Norm said. Congrats on dating or whatever."

"Hah, uh, we're not dating, though," Taylor says.

"We're not?" Link asks, and Taylor turns to face him, and, oh fuck , he looks lost.

"Uh…"

Taylor feels his stomach roll.

Oh no.

The thought of dating is something… not necessarily foreign, more like… repulsive. No, that sounds bad… it just feels… icky?

Ah, not icky. Link isn't icky. Link isn't icky at all.

Link is great.

Link is a great friend, Link is a great person, Link is a great kisser…

Surely he'd be a great boyfriend, but…

"Taylor?"

"Huh?"

Taylor blinks, and Link is closer, and ah, the others are gone.

Wait.

The cafeteria is empty?

"It's time for class," Link answers with furrowed brows and a slight frown, "are you okay? You kinda zoned out there…"

Oh, fuck.

Link asked if they were dating and he didn't even answer.

And now he's worried about Taylor.

"I—I'm fine," Taylor says, grabbing his cane and standing up swiftly, "I'll see you after class!"

He starts walking away and promptly trips on the air, bracing for impact until Link catches and steadies him, with his strong, protective grip and gentle, careful gaze.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Mhm."

Taylor shoots him a thumbs up.

Link doesn't seem to buy it, shooting him another worried look and resolving to walk him to class.

And it is the most awkwardly silent walk ever.

Fuck.

Okay.

Time to deliberate , Taylor thinks, sitting down at his desk.

God.

There's a pit in his stomach, filled with guilt threatening to swirl and bubble up to the surface.

He doesn't want to date Link.

Fuck, kissing him was a mistake, wasn't it?

What if Link had wanted to date him, and that was confirmation?

And now Taylor has to break the news?

This could have been avoided if Taylor had come to his senses and not let the stupid teenage hormones get to him.

God, this is his fault.

He sucks in a breath and buries his head in his arms on his desk, shutting his eyes.

The teacher doesn't seem to care.

Thankfully, this is his last class, and soon enough, the bell rings, and he's gone, headed straight home.

-

Link didn't end up seeing Taylor after class on Friday, so he shot him a text once he was home.

Can I come over tomorrow?

ok , Taylor replied, without his usual silly emoticons and GIFs, which was a cause for concern in itself.

They discussed the details with every response from Taylor equally dry and so un-Taylorlike, and once the next day arrived. Link visited, ready for a chat.

"Taylor, um, so, we're not dating, are we?" Link asks, sitting on Taylor's bed across from him.

Taylor is picking at stray thread on his shirt, with his tail curled around one of his body pillows, when he says, "Um. Yeah. I mean no, we're not. I—I don't know how to…"

Taylor bites his lip and sucks in a breath.

"It's okay," Link soothes, leaning against the wall, "you can talk to me."

"Okay, yeah, okay, yes." Taylor takes in a deep breath before continuing, and once he starts talking, it's like the floodgates have opened.

"So, I don't really do dating. I mean, I was never in a situation where that could even happen , but, like, the idea of it… isn't really my thing? I… it, it's not— it's not you . I like you. I really like you. But the idea of being… boyfriends… kinda… feels weird. Not in a good way. I—I don't—" he sucks in a breath, and pauses a moment before continuing. "I don't want to."

Taylor's breathing is a little shaky, and Link opens his mouth to respond when Taylor looks him in the eyes at last and continues.

"I'm sorry."

His voice breaks, and his eyes get glassy.

"I'm sorr—I'm so sorry. I—I didn't mean to, fuck , I should have never—never kissed you, I, I just. I wanted to. I really did. I still want to, but I—" Taylor shudders, and the tears start sliding down his face. "I didn't mean to give you a false sense of hope," he sobs, "and I—I don't wanna let you down but—"

Link pulls him into a hug, one that he melts into, one that should have come far sooner.

"It's okay Taylor, I promise ."

Taylor nods, crying into his chest.

Link's mind wanders to a past—ah, simulated —life, and a conversation that started similarly, and words he wished to hear, but never did. Back then, it was far too late. He was in too deep, and they couldn't understand.

But Link is here now, and he can.

"We don't need to date, you're not letting me down, trust me, you could never."

There's a small "uh-huh" between Taylor's whines.

"We'll do and be whatever you're comfortable with," Link kisses the top of his head. "We don't have to date, we can just be ."

"And we can kiss?" Taylor mumbles into his chest.

Link pulls him away and cups his face, swiping at the tears with his thumbs. Then he pulls Taylor closer, tilts his head up ever so slightly, and plants a gentle kiss on his lips.

"And we can kiss."

Taylor sighs, and his eyes flutter open, and he smiles, and whispers:

"Okay. I like that."

"Me too."

And they kiss once more.

✧*｡♡｡*✧

[starrz-n-waffl3-fries]

Some head canons for The cruel game of life characters ⭐️

Hiro🧪

Doesn’t know his right from his left

Likes to pack lunches for Ian and zero sometimes, especially likes to put dumplings, kimchi, and sushi in there

Is way too much of a nut about eating healthy And will force at least some veggies in said lunches

He sounds like a fox when he cries

He also laughs like a fox

Look me in the eyes right now and tell me he takes showers every day, I’m sorry you can’t convince me that he does, every Saturday and Sunday for sure

Horrible at shaving, and the only reason why he even has facial hair

Wipes chemicals on his lab coat despite the many health risks that come with that, bro does not care

Favorite shape is a square, favorite color squares come in is Either green, yellow, or blue

Farsighted, his goggles have the prescription for that in them

VOICE CRACKS

Probably has Twitter

has several mental breakdowns a day trying to cope with what he sees on Twitter

Has a fear of public speaking

Ian🥪

Swears a lot, Almost to a surprising degree

Runs into things a lot And cries every time because he bumped his nose in the process

Sometimes bites himself out of curiosity if he’s grown poisonous to himself, Hiros very disturbed by this

Whiny bastard, almost as bad as a child

Five second rule doesn’t exist to him

Is physically repulsed by the fact that he sheds And cries out of overstimulation from how itchy his scales get when he does

Genuinely loves the packed lunches that Hiro gives him and zero

A little intimidated by hiro in a positive way

Favorite number is nine

Favorite shape is a trapezoid, His favorite color that it comes in is the same as his actual favorite color, green

Draws sometimes, horrible at it because he hasn’t figured out writing or doing anything with a pencil in this hand

Probably illiterate

Fidgets with the scales on his tail when he’s really bored

Has had a tendency to eat dandelions, gets scolded by both Canary and hiro, while Zero encourages to down a couple more

Zero🔫

Favorite genre is Dad rock, convince me otherwise

Sometimes traces his scars During PTSD flashbacks to ground himself

Refuses to cry if he can help it, but not because of toxic masculinity, but because that would mean he would have to clean the inside of his mask and he’s worried he will mess up the wiring in it

Cannot spell Mustard, cat, or cheese right, will write ‘[redacted]’ instead to avoid embarrassment

Likes his scars because he sees them as proof that he’s gone through something and he’s not being a dramatic whiny bitch, and will get irrationally anxious when Something doesn’t leave a scar or a Scar fades(definitely not self reflecting, shut up)

Dyed his hair in middle school, got his ass beat by his mom, never again

Surprisingly good at math!

HATES vegetables, especially celery. Will throw out Hiros packed lunches and pretend he ate it

Thought the confederate flag was the American flag until Hiro LOUDLY scolded him for it and explained it’s origins, never again

Sometimes forgets how old he is

Suicidal in the “I’m not gonna actually do it because it’s a stupid solution to my problem, but goddamn” way

Resents his mom, loves his dad

Favorite shape is a triangle, favorite color it comes in is red

Put his hair up in a man bun every so often

Kyete🩸

Probably dyslexic?

Sometimes steals things from hiro just to get him to come over and retrieve them so he can hang out with him

Has a tendency to scratch the back of his neck when he’s nervous, this is subconscious

Paints his nails on occasion

Favorite season is fall or winter

Had glasses at least some time in his life

Germaphobe probably, Extremely bothered by gunk and it impresses Hiro every time he comes over his house because of how spotless it is

Favorite shape is either a heart, circle, or a flower, and loves when they come in red or blue

Favorite flower is a spider lily

Attempted to be a gardener one time, immediately gave up as soon as his first plant died

HATES the texture of slime or anything similar, will cry

Loves water! Relaxing to him, despite him being a cat

Favorite Animal crossing villager is Jitters

Does the “making biscuits” thing that cats do and bites hiro as a form of affection

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Untitled

This has been a strange week, A. I mean you know I have to talk to you today on my break at work (taking at least 2 today because it's sloooooow).

The Boy wrote his English 101 Dual Credit essay about you this week. He warned me.

"Mom, I have to write about 'an experience that made me appreciate life.' I'm gonna write about A dying. I really can't think of writing about anything else that won't come out sounding like bullshit. I still need you to look at it before I turn it in, because you're a writer and it makes me feel better when you say it's not shit, even though it comes with the Mom Discount. But I know it might like...upset you."

Of course I told him to write about you. I told him I wanted to read it (truth). I told him to actually print out a copy because I don't want it lost to the ethereal, nebulous world of online-only assignments; it's something my son made to honor my best friend. I want to save it forever. I want it immortalized (also truth). But it was fucking hard to read it. He took it hard when you died, and I knew he did before reading his school work (obviously), but Christ, how connected the two of you are. The locket J got me connects everyone in the center but you and the Boy are connected on a hinge side, and that locket pops open on that hinge at work all the time. So I'll look down and have to close it back up, and every time it's you and my son looking back at me. It's never you and my grandparents or J and my son, or J and my grandparents. It's always you and the Boy. You helped him so much. I want you to know that. He turned it in yesterday after titling it. 'Loss and Acceptance.' It's hard to title things. Especially when you write something important to you; something difficult to say; something attached to a lot of complex feelings. That's why my essay is untitled.

Then last night I sat on the couch with J and he cried watching a YouTube video of a BBC news capture of Jon Bon Jovi (right?) LITERALLY talking someone off a ledge in Nashville, Tennessee where he was shooting a music video. J cried. He leaves for his bike trip with W and the boys tomorrow morning. So this conversation happened:

Me: You ok? 🥺

J: 🥺😥 (hands over his phone with the video restarted; it was moving, but it didn't make ME cry)

Me: I'm lost. 🫤 I don't know what's getting to you this much. Text me? (J and I often text each other when our bodies are literally touching. Sometimes it's easier to not say it out loud).

J: (both of us are texting now) I dunno, peaches.

Me: Do you feel like...that? (that = suicidal) 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

J: No. Just got to me how many people walked on by.

Me: He didnt. ❤️🥹

J: Yeah. ❤️

Me: Is the stuff with your dad getting to you more than you're telling me? I don't want you to go off Saturday morning feeling so down. ❤️

J: I feel guilty about going. 🫤

Me: Why? Won't lie. I don't like it when you're away, but I want you to go see your friends. W. Fuck, I'd give everything I have except you and the Boy for a week with A right now.

J: That's kind of why. If I don't go, what if something happens to W before I get another chance to see him? Or me even? I'd feel like shit. So I have to go. But I'm leaving you and the Boy. And fucking G. That damn dog. Because what if something happens to one of us while I'm away? I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Me: We're fine. I promise. We just like having you around. Go be with W because...damn I really would give anything to be with A. For even an HOUR.

J hugged me until we all left the living room for bed. We made love last night before we went to sleep. And I dreamed all night about you. That you weren't really dead (again). Everywhere I went, when J was away on this trip, you were with me. 'I can't believe we're at a sushi place right now,' you'd say. 'What the fuck am I supposed to eat here?! Boy used to be on my side. What happened to pizza, man? Your mother finally infected you with her adventurous eating...' I'd look around at family dinner at my parents' house without J and you'd be there. Literally saying, 'I'm still here.'

I fucking miss you so bad. J has never gone away without you being there to text me off my metaphorical ledges and now you're not. Now I'm left with a bunch of people who will just pass me by. I'm so fucking ragingly envious of J that he gets a week with his best friend while I'm so desperately missing mine. I know the dream is supposed to be that I DO get a week with my best friend. That it's somehow 'better' in a way because you'll be right next to me, even in places you'd never ever go with me alive, but I still don't want you to be dead. I'd trade this intangible constancy even at the sushi joint for sporadic texts and bad Pearl Jam jokes in a heartbeat. I'd trade no sushi ever for pizza once a year with you. I'd certainly trade a visit to the fucking cemetery every few weeks to seeing you in person one more time, period. I'd still rather all of this be fake and you're not really even dead, just orchestrating a supremely elaborate scheme to avoid me.

There's every supposed stage of grief in one essay. Except of course for acceptance. That's why I had the Boy print his out for me. I'll keep rereading it until it takes. That still might be never. 💔😭

Anyway, love you, you fucker. I'll see you Monday at your place. ❤️

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #231

Do you like to cuddle with your S.O. or do you prefer your space? I like to cuddle with him, so long as I'm not hot. If I'm hot, don't touch me.

What TV shows do you watch on a regular basis? None.

What is the last thing you scribbled down on a Post-It note? I have no idea.

Do you care if your produce is organic or not? No, not really.

Do you have any children? If so, how old were you when you had them? If not, do you think you ever will? No, I most likely never will.

Do you get enough calcium? To my knowledge, yeah. I've always liked milk.

Are you nosy? Dude I am so nosy and I know I am. It ain't gotta have nothing to do with me, I just like knowing shit lmao

Are you happy with the size of your bedroom? Yeah.

Where was the last place you went that was totally new to you, as in, it was the first time you’d been there? A primarily sushi place for Mom's birthday. I tried something else (there was no way I was eating sushi), some Thai dish, and it was horrible, I had to eat something when I got home.

When was the last time you used someone else’s computer? Girt's actually, last time we hung out. Long story short and to make it understandable to people who don't play, I was storing certain things in WoW in case I ever do come back to the game.

What’s the relationship status of the last person you talked to? Divorced/single.

Do you say sorry first? If I believe I'm wrong, yes. I am not one to easily say sorry first if I believe I did nothing wrong.

Who will you be spending Christmas with this year? Without fail my mom, and unless something is seriously stopping us we go to my older sister's place, and usually Nicole (my other, younger sister) is there too. I'd like to see Girt, but we usually don't on Christmas day, we spend time with our immediate families.

Did you go to high school with your current best friend? Yes.

Have you ever been a passenger in a semi-trailer truck? No.

Whose was the last funeral you attended? I don't think I've ever been to a funeral, just a wake.

Do you avoid using public restrooms? I try to, yes. But if I seriously gotta go, I gotta go.

Have you seen any extended relatives in the last month? No, I barely ever see extended family. None live in North Carolina.

Do you like eggnog? Nooooooooooooo.

Who is the person you dislike the most? Of people who are actually in my life still, Nick.

Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? I absolutely would if I had an income. I don't have disability checks, I don't have anything. I literally get money on Christmas and my birthday, that's it.

Do you know anyone with celiac disease? I have a cousin with it, yes. I think her mom also has it.

How many siblings do you have? Are they all full siblings? I have two full-blooded sisters, one half-brother, and technically three half-sisters, but one I have never met or spoken to or know almost anything about.

What’s the weather like today? Raining cats and dogs on-and-off, windy. We have a hurricane.

How do you usually celebrate New Years? Occasionally Mom and/or I will have a drink, and that's pretty much the extent of it.

Do you currently have any alarms set? Not right this minute, but at bedtime I've been setting an 10:30-11:00 A.M. alarm lately. I've been sleeping in too late.

Do you like whiskey? Meh, I can have some in mixed drinks. I don't particularly like the flavor, but I don't like the flavor of alcohol period, so...

What type of milk do you like to drink? 2% or whole.

Do you have a first aid kit at home? Yes.

Are your parents dog or cat people? Is that different or the same as you? Mom's a dog person. Dad, I'm not sure. He has a cat and loves him, but we also had dogs while he was still with my family, so idk. I'm a cat person.

What’s your favourite flavour of potato chip? Just plain/salted, honestly. I do like salt & vinegar and french onion, though.

Would you ever get a matching tattoo with someone? Maybe my mom.

What is your Chinese zodiac animal? Rat, I think.

What form of communication did you last use to talk to the person you're currently interested in? Discord.

Do you want to see someone right now? Yeah, I saw Girt like... two days ago and I still really miss him.

What was the last thing you looked up on YouTube? Powerwolf's new album, I think.

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? No.

Do you actually love your parents? Yes. I don't know where the hell I'd be without my mom.

What pattern do the sheets on your bed have? They're just plain white.

Where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? I don't wear underwear with my pajamas, that's so non-cozy lmao

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Sure do. I WILL with Girt, but I'd still prefer not to.

Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? I've been through the ringer.

Do you spend more time outside or inside? Inside, it's no competition.

Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? TV, easy. I don't even watch it on my own, only with Mom or Girt.

Last person to make you seriously mad? Tobey.

Who have you recently made up with after fighting? Nobody.

What kind of toothpaste do you use? Crest.

What were you doing this morning at 1am? Most likely sleeping. A flash flood warning woke me up at some point, though.

Have you used a tissue today? Yes, my allergies have been out of this fucking world today.

The last person that slept in your bed gets arrested, what do you do? Cry extremely hard and figure out what the hell happened, try to reach him over phone if he's allowed. I'd have no guess what he got arrested for.

When people ask "how are you?" do you say "good" even if you aren't? No. I don't info-dump, I just don't think there's shame in sharing that you're not doing great.

How was your Friday? Tomorrow is Friday, so the kids should be coming over while their parents work. I don't have a book to read right now, so it's gonna be a long day. I do like Fridays though, at least it's something different, I just get stressed out by kids too easily.

Did you speak to your father today? No, it's been a minute.

What was the last thing you drank? Raspberry lemonade flavored water.

How did you wake up this morning? Tornado warning alert. There's been three or four actual tornadoes touch down in the area since last night, but so far my city has been gratefully spared.

Some people were really destructive as a child, were you? No.

Who was the last person you were in a car with? Girt.

Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom.

Do you know anyone that is gothic? I have a friend, as well as me, at heart at least. I definitely feel like I fit the gothic aesthetic ideally and emotionally, I just can't be bothered to dress up (that and I can't afford stuff like that), and I HATE putting on makeup.

Have you seen UP? I've seen I think most of it.

How is your mom? Stressed, always.

Do you feel comfortable getting up and giving speeches? HELL no.

Have you ever dipped french fries in a frosty? Yes, I didn't get the appeal at all.

Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding, so long it's chocolate.

Last time you ate a salad? It's been a long while. I don't really like salads.

Have you ever been described as “adorable”? It's been said before.

Are you a moody person? I can be, yes.

What are you listening to? I'm watching 8-BitRyan play Into The Pit.

What video game could you waste the most time on? It WAS World of Warcraft, but I've stopped playing it. It's the main reason I've been doing more surveys lol, I'm fighting to find other ways to kill time.

[twilightknight17]

P3R while I was gone, part 3: The False Prince and the Rainbow Disco Party

Life is good in the aftermath of the final shadow. Yesterday was a terrible battle, but I must still go to school today, etc. And after school, it’s time to celebrate!

We’re all so glad to be done with this nonsense. Even Mitsuru’s dad is here, to officially disband SEES at midnight.

I forgot Ken has never met him. XD

The only people missing are Aigis and Ikutsuki; he took her back to the lab to check up on a few things. Junpei really wants a group picture, and since they still aren’t back, we’re just going to have to take another one later.

He asks one of Kirijo-san’s guys to take the picture for us. It goes great. XDDDD

It’s getting later and later, and I like to think that Mitsuru’s dad enjoyed spending time with us. We had a good time. We ate so much sushi! And now it’s time to count down to midnight.

...well, fuck. X’D

Yeah, there was no way that was the final boss. Ikutsuki and Aigis still aren’t back, and Mitsuru’s dad is furious, because this was supposed to be the end of things. We get Fuuka to search for Ikutsuki, and she locates both him and Aigis at the entrance to Tartarus.

Ikutsuki has removed her free will to make her obedient to him. But aside from that, SEES wants to know what the fuck is going on, because ridding the world of shadows and the Dark Hour was our entire purpose, and it’s still here.

Apparently the end will come and free the world from despair! The only salvation lies in ruin!

Right. Sure. Why is everyone always trying to free the world from despair in the wrong way?

Well, that’s a bit arrogant, huh? Somehow I don’t think that getting us to kill the shadows makes you the prince. I think you’ve misinterpreted something, since the note we found in Monad said that the Prince of Salvation would be “born” after gathering all the shadows.

You, sir, already exist. Regrettably.

Ikutsuki gets Aigis to capture all of us and drag us up to what would be the school’s observatory in normal time. God only knows how you find a specific room in Tartarus when it’s constantly changing, plus, like… did the shadows not bother you and Aigis while you hauled seven people and a dog up the tower?

Not to mention, how long were we out, because how long did it take to do this?

Oh, yeah, Mitsuru’s dad came after us and wants to know what the hell is going on. Ikutsuki is very chill about mass human sacrifice of teenagers and children.

Mitsuru’s dad is NOT down with this, because he does not want the world to end, and he ends up getting away from Aigis to take a shot at Ikutsuki.

Ikutsuki gets gut shot and screams at Aigis to kill the rest of us.

Mitsuru’s dad collapses.

And Aigis looks at all of her friends, and shoots out the chains to free us.

Ikutsuki wants to know why we’re even bothering to search for a reason to live in this “broken world”. No one really has an answer for him, especially not Mitsuru, who is busy trying to save her dad. And failing.

You really weren’t.

Ikutsuki stumbles back and falls from the edge of the observatory platform, so we’ve lost all the adults who knew what was going on in one fell swoop.

It’s just us now.

But I must still go to school today?

Ah. Yeah.

Mitsuru doesn’t have any other family to deal with arrangements or the company, so… Yeah.

None of us are really okay. But there’s not much we can do at the moment. But Fuuka did dig into Ikutsuki’s computer files. He doctored that video of Yukari’s dad to make it sound like we needed to destroy the shadows, but Fuuka found the original.

This leads to Yukari’s second awakening, changing Io into Isis to symbolize her newfound resolve. That’s five teammates so far! Mitsuru, Aigis, Koromaru, and I are left. And I don’t think Koromaru gets a second awakening.

My schedule returns to normal, and I’m wandering around as usual.

I will find my Fortune! Even if it won’t be official. ^_^

Igor also wants to talk to me, but other than opening up some more special fusions, he just wants me to remember that I have to take responsibility for my actions.

Honestly, my guy, I still don’t know what fate I chose?

Or maybe it’s the fate I’m going to choose, in which case, there’s only one choice.

On the social link front, Kenji has come to a decision!

Well, I don’t know what the fuck is going to happen with you from here, but uh, good luck I guess?

Hey, who’s that over there?

Oh. Oh… Okay, yeah, you’ve just been an idiot this whole time. She was talking to her fiance.

But… I dunno, I feel like at some point she should have noticed how Kenji was acting around her and shut that down a lot harder.

Chin up, Kenji. I guess. I’m gonna go ask my weird blue cousin what she wants to do tonight.

Huh. Ken has one of those! We can talk about how the ending of season 2 was such a disappointment for the shippers.

(Also, is that a Sailor Moon reference?)

LIZ. OMG.

Okaaaaaaaay, what is everyone else up to?

...too real, sir. I’m going home.

…...not sure how to tell you, Mamoru, but I do not take the sport seriously.

ANYWAY. I guess after Featherman tonight we should head back into Tartarus. It’s the only lead we have, and there has to be a top up there somewhere. Besides, I’m gonna be busy tomorrow, so let’s go now and see what’s up with the next area. We were at a border floor before.

...wait.

Do you hear that?

It sounds like… eurodance Caramelldansen remix.

Getting closer.

I love Harabah. Oh my gosh. This is fantastic. It’s hard to see the shadows roaming the floors, but I don’t even care, this is incredible. It’s SO different from all the other blocks and it’s amazing. I’m gonna have so much fun here.

I also finally fused Decarabia, so I got a new fusion spell!

I love Star Forneus, too. <3

Tomorrow is Monday and we will go back to school and all will be right with the world because it’s November 9th and I have reasons to Scream. :D

[omegaremix]

High Score Pinball + Game On; Spring 2021 & Spring 2022.

If you were an Eighties child, the video game was the pinnacle of your childhood. On Saturdays, my dad took me to the toy store where I sprinted to the game wall, have me choose any stamped ticket and hand it over the counter to customer service where they stocked all the solid state cartridges in the back. They’d hand me the game of choice and I was golden until next week. If I was lucky, he’d take us to Nunley’s Carousel in Baldwin where it was the final time in my life I’d play old electromagnetic machines and driving games that ran on paper sheets - and even film reels and plastic parts (Atari’s F1). We’d also go to Nathan’s in Oceanside. It, too, had an arcade there. Once we came back from his dietician or from my half-sister in Bensonhurst, he ended up taking the whole family for sit-in Chinese and to the Nellie Bly Amusement Park where for one time only I played Atari’s Superman and Hercules pinball tables.

Sunday was an even bigger event. My pop would drive from (also) Bensonhurst all the way out to Long Island where my family and I lived. He’d arrive anywhere between noon to 1PM and stay for an hour before taking me to the South Shore Mall. I’d have the luxury of two hours and $5.00 worth of quarters to play as many games as I could. Roadblasters, Space Harrier, Chase HQ, Marble Madness, skee ball - you name it, they had it, I played it. Pop would break it up and take me to The Emporium (later becoming Nathan’s and after that a sushi house that closed down in 2010) where they also had an arcade itself. Same time limit, same amount of pocket change. The neighborhood delis and convenience stores also had arcade and pinball machines where I clearly remember playing Seicross, Legion, Double Dragon, Ninja Gaiden, Shinobi, and other games too many to mention. I had the best of both worlds at home and beyond. By the time my grade-school years ended, I replenished the game collection my dad once sold for $50.00 and more thanks to my Dallas aunt and uncle. 

The Brentwood era just started for me and Pop had a heart attack while watching the game. He woke up out of it but later relapsed and that was the end for him. I had to take it upon myself to ride my bike to the mall or the pizzeria in the local shopping center behind the middle school to get my Neo-Geo, Super Monaco GP, or Mortal Kombat fix. With reward came risk: Brentwood wasn’t a safe neighborhood compared to the others. Every day I worried about random newjacks and youngbucks coming up to me for handouts just for being seen. Seven or eight kids waiting their turn surrounded the Street Fighter machines at any one of three stores out of fifteen who had them; some even got jumped and assaulted over them because they were caught cheating. Chain-snatchers got the unsuspecting kids when their backs were turned, and even the resting bitch-faces came up to entice me to fight their boyfriends who tried stealing my bike.

As time went by, I moved on from the scummy parts. Visits to the arcades became less frequented no matter at the mall or the amusement park. The carousels and hot dog places went out of business. Console gaming, however, kept going with the Genesis, SNES, Dreamcast, and Playstation throughout my community college and Stony Brook era. I discovered MAME and VPinball so I could stay in touch with myself. I kept it all going until I was sick of dozing off and throwing my time away while my friends, co-workers, and associates made the best of theirs. I finally moved on from gaming, and all the best for it.

It was more than ten years since I played a game of pinball. The Sopranos to be exact. Almost no place on the island where one was to be found. But that all changed last spring when the Video Game Trading Post opened up Long Island’s very first pinball arcade in the South Shore Mall / Westfield. I was stunned and paralyzed. We never asked for it, let alone couldn’t even imagine happening, but we got it. We lost Manhattan’s Modern Pinball and Greenpoint’s Sunshine Laundromat was never the same after the pandemic, so having the arcade return (to the very place where it all started for me and not having to travel to the city for it) was the pale-skinned redheaded Godiva riding on the fucking horse.

It was amazement at first sight. I enter the mall and the sounds emanating from the dark space tells me I’m close. I finally found it. My soul pushed back because I couldn’t believe it. I walk in and the darkness swallowed me in as all the flashing lights, LEDS, and the brightly-lit back-panels fight to be noticed. For $25.00, sometimes $35.00, it was all-you-can-play. I walk around in the dark vortex and the place was huge of its concrete flooring and aromatic wood smell. All three Black Knight tables, all three Pinbots, both Firepowers, Bank Shot, Evel Knievel, Harlem Globetrotters, Tron Legacy, even Police Force when it was at Vinardo’s. I spotted Big Guns, a game I remember from my Nintendo childhood. To my amusement, it was real having to find that Slugfest returned to the exact same mall I played at during the Brentwood era. The best part? Learning that both High Speed and Nine Ball would make their stay. It would make that next return trip all the more urgent. High Speed was the very first machine I ever scored a million on, let alone three. And Nine Ball? The overall design and sound effects of it was a personal must-play for me.

All throughout last Spring and Summer I’d make the effort to be the first one there and the last one to leave. Noon to 8PM. I made one final trip to High Score- before the year was over, leaving it behind in its former incarnation forever. It’s now half of what it used to be. The other half is now home gaming and memorabilia. I knew it would never be as good after when I first found it and won’t expect it to be better. But I’ll never, ever forget it - just like I’ll never forget the ride to Williamsburg’s Rough Trade, the post-punk / d.i.y. and jazz-fusion finds, the Jewish girl from Queens with the straight shoulder-length hair and green eyes who asked me if I had a copy of KIDS, or the two pale gingers with brown eyes I spent forever with at my store. Another day, another payout.

The alignments had another card up its sleeve. The King of Diamonds would be super-ceded by the Ace. The Boy Harsher show was less than two weeks away and I had to visit the Smithhaven Mall to find me a leather jacket and black hat. I walked out with the hat but no jac-. And, as I was walking out, something caught my eye: a shiny colorful array of neon lights. I stop to look at my right and there it was: a new video arcade I never knew existed. I was shut. I step in and to my immediate right was Baby Pac-Man: a cabinet shaped like an upright with a CRT monitor and small pinball playfield below it. It was a machine I only read about but was curious to seek out. Now, here it is. But, I couldn’t go any further as entry was roped off. But I see the sign at the front desk: $20.00 free play all day. It’s 3PM, I wouldn’t get my money’s worth. But I owed it to myself to come back and visit, and visit I did.

The following Wednesday I came back at noon and paid the frail emo casualty up front my $20.00. Does he have any idea what he’s doing here or what this is all about? He wouldn’t care, really. He’s only here to collect and will elicit a fake half-enthusiastic “oh, uh…that’s cool!” when asked. I’m here to revisit my Atari / Nintendo childhood. Eight hours and no time to waste. Let’s have it.

I walk in and there’s three Pac-Man machines grouped together: the 1980 original that became the first-ever character franchise, Baby Pac-Man and Super Pac-Man. Across from it is Ms. Pac-Man. How shameful they couldn’t include her in the boys’ club. There were vector games in Tempest, Lunar Lander, Asteroids, and Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back in super-sharp and blindingly bright on original CRT monitors. There was Gorf, arguably my very first arcade memory living in Brooklyn. Classics such as Centipede, Marble Madness and Spy Hunter which I haven’t played in its true form since forever. Defender, Robotron 2084, and Berzerk rounded out three of four parts of the Williams epic (Blaster was the fourth). Moon Patrol, Galaxian, Zaxxon, Gyruss, Phoenix, Dig Dug, Vanguard, and Missile Command - games I played endlessly on the home system - were there. Crystal Castles, one I always played on the Atari 2600, felt super-frantic and ultra-responsive on my first time ever playing it. Pengo and Mr. Do! - two games I remember my sis- B-Bomb telling me about - were finally crossed off the must-play list.

I found two extremely rare Nintendo Vs. red tents and with that came Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Jr., Donkey Kong 3, Punch Out, Popeye, and the original Super Mario Bros. which I always used to play at the neighborhood deli (thanks ma’). Even more impressive was the fact that they had Playchoice machines when the South Shore Mall had them. I walk further and there’s Bad Dudes and the first Double Dragon: agonizingly slow and sluggish as fuck like I remembered it.

There’s driving games such as Super Sprint, Crazy Taxi, Chase HQ, and The Cruisin’ series. But, none more important than Sega’s Hang-On and Outrun, one which my younger bro- and I fought over to play first when our parents took us to the ice cream parlor. Next to those were Virtua Cop and Point Blank which I had zero interest playing because it wasn’t Cheyenne.

Konami, known for some of the best multi-player titles ever, made their presence felt with Super Contra, The Simpsons, Sunset Riders, X-Men, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; the final being the gateway and the token example of nostalgia. There was the fighters’ row: Mortal Kombat II, Virtua Fighter, Tekken 4, Killer Instinct, Marvel Vs. Capcom 2, and Street Fighter II; that final one the basis of my early Brentwood years hanging out in dangerous neighborhoods and being harassed by the youngbucks in pizzerias for quarters. How about not one, not - fuck it - four Neo-Geo MVS’s with such games as Metal Slug 4, Ninja Warriors, Fatal Fury 2, and Samurai Shodown all plugged in and more. Three of those four aforementioned Neo-Geo games all happened during various points of my Brentwood era, coincidentally at the same shopping center as the pizzeria and that down-low mom-and-pop video store in Central Islip.

There were pinball tables such as Spider-Man, Stranger Things, and Star Wars: Episode 1, but couldn’t ever compare to what High Score used to have. Foosball, (a rare) Super Chexx, a Ms. Pac-Man & Galaga cocktail machine, and even Alley Cats: a shuffleboard-slash-bowling hybrid were found. Never played anything like it. Sports-themed uprights in NBA Jam, NHL Ice, and Blades Of Steel which I played all of three minutes before walking away from it and headed for Arkanoid: Revenge Of Doh. I was even taken back by seeing games I never knew existed: Warp Warp and Lady Bug. And finally…Smash TV. I wasted an hour of my valuable life on cheap deaths and repetitious gameplay. I’ll never ever recommend it.

I look above and there was a scoreboard with all the high scores and initials written in chalk. Twin Galaxies this wasn’t and thankfully there were no Billy Mitchell sightings. Another thing up above us was a mural of Blaze, Axel, and Adam of Sega’s Streets Of Rage, deemed one of the best and most successful side-scrolling beat ‘em-ups ever. Further back of the arcade I found a bar set-up and a big projector screen behind it for anyone wanting to play Mario Kart on the big-screen. I looked hard enough to find authentic original operator’s manuals of Jungle Hunt, Centipede, Xevious, Asteroids, and Missile Command framed and hung on the wall. I also laserdiscs also framed and hung on the wall near the arcades storefront. Flashdance, License To Drive, Vision Quest, and - I kid you not - Dirty Dancing. Which reminded me…where the hell were Dragon’s Lair and Space Ace? And no Eighties’ fantasy world wouldn’t be complete without at least two small CRT TV’s set up to play Super Mario Bros. 3 and E.T. It was the perfect set-up found in millions of kid’s rooms everywhere. And they still weren’t done.

The one thing Game On had that High Score Pinball didn’t, and this is the major validator here, was the Eighties soundtrack streamed on the overhead. High Score- only had the natural sound of licensed one-liners, PCBs, electromagnetics, and solid states emanating all the bells and hard solenoid knocks of free games. Only once had they brought out a portable speaker blasting Ozzy’s Nineties hits and alternative. Not Game On. Every song was an unforgettable Eighties throwback. It had to be to fit within the nostalgic theme of gaming’s wonder years of the very-late Seventies to the mid-Nineties.

The Seventies will always be something I’ll explore because it’s a decade I mostly missed out on. Exploring and discovering obscure jazz / fusion, soul, groove, and the hits are all a product of my fascination with hip-hop and rap’s sampling culture, console gaming, money shows, chyrons, station i.d.’s, production logos, opening and closing credits, and promos-. The Eighties were different because I lived through them 100% and still remember it clear as day. I can appreciate new wave, synthpop, the new romantics, Billboard hits, freestyle, radio plays, hair metal, and anything else I listened to as part of my Atari / Nintendo childhood. The arcade’s streaming playlist (could they not afford a cassette player?) was paired with the many original arcade cabinets of their time and served its nostalgic purpose, as intended, to its full unbeatable meaning. 

With almost every song played on the overhead there were more childhood memories that followed them. J. Geils Band’s “Centerfold” was my first-ever music memory when my other half-sister played it constantly on our turntable in our family’s second-floor Borough Park apartment. The night my dad threw the Christmas tree out on the porch and my ma’ taking both my younger brother and I to stay at gramma’s for a few days. Riding in the passenger’s seat of our white rusted ‘78 Cadillac Coupe Deville and the bubbled rainbow that formed at the top of its windshield. Being stuck on the side of the Southern State Parkway heading home as my younger bro- and I rode in the backseat with toy dashboards. The trips in my parents rusty beige Chevy van where its crusty steel interior and the smell of petrichor created a viciously sickening mess. The two ‘79 yellow and blue AMC VAM Pacer X’s my parents had. Hurricane Gloria and the week-long power outage. Friday night’s Miami Vice. Saturday afternoons spent in the basement playing Atari and watching WWF and NWA. Saturday night’s Golden Girls where the whole family died laughing. Sunday’s Long Island pop station WBLI’s Top Ten countdown on public access television. Our babysitter’s daughter who was the cutest thing of curly black hair, dark eyes, and tall stature who smelled like sparkle and white plush. My bro- and I taking apart our ma’s floral-print couches and making pillow forts out of them. Dad’s in-wall Akai eight-track player and the overhead speakers. Easter’s various assortment of sweet-smelling wax crayons and activity books. Nights spent watching New York Yankee games on PIX, New York Rangers on MSG, Night Flight and Dance Party USA. Family dinner night at Enzo’s in Bay Shore for minestrone, calzones, and newspaper clippings of Italy’s World Cup victories. Assholes in Chams tank-tops smoking in their garages while working on their prized ‘77 Trans Ams. Playing NES all night before getting ready to ride to Staten Island at three in the morning to pick up my dad’s side of the family.

The more I played the more I immersed myself back into familiar territory that I haven’t visited in decades. It’s an absolute rarity when all the right authentic elements that used to be come together as one and re-create a near-perfect rendition of what the Eighties felt like. It’s not just the soundtrack, the manuals and laserdiscs that supplanted the setting, but the actual aesthetic itself. See the decals on the side of the cabinets and the built-in one-of-a-kind joysticks and steering wheels. The amazing control panel artwork. Plenty of CRT monitors and their rasterized graphics, scanlines, ripples, burn-in, and scrambled graphical glitches. Buttons, plenty of buttons of all types. And no more having to bang on the steel coin doors when those quarters got jammed. Not a burn mark in sight and the smell of old wood cabinets filled the room - exactly how I remembered it all.

It was nearing 9PM. The trip back in time was about to end and the mall was finally winding down. I had to have one last game in before having to walk off memory lane and say goodbye. That idiot kid wasn’t there but was replaced by some cute skinny hipster girl punk with pink hair and ladened with piercings, eager to talk to any cliched grown-up punk dad or fading former Gen-X’er wanting to share a story or two about how they missed those simpler days. I’ll never get the spirit and being of the Eighties back, but I no longer miss them now that I have a monthly pilgrimage to Game On. I retire for the night and head out. She unhooks the velvet rope and clears the way for me to leave with a smile.

“Have a good night!” she says. You know I will.

Heart: “Magic Man”

Eddie Money & Ronnie Spector: “Take Me Home Tonight”

Run DMC: “It’s Tricky”

Cutting Crew: “I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight”

Toto: “Africa”

A-Ha: “Take On Me”

Foreigner: “Waiting For A Girl Like You”

Bananarama: “I Heard A Rumor”

Wham: “Wake Me Up Befoe You Go-Go”

Mike & The Mechanics: “Silent Running”

Michael Jackson: “Billie Jean”

Rick Springfield: “Jessie’s Girl”

Bruce Springsteen: “Dancer In The Dark”

Pat Benetar: “Love Is A Battlefield”

J. Geils Band: “Centerfold”

Simple Minds: “Don’t You Forget About Me”

Tommy Tutone: “867-5309 / Jenny”

Cyndi Lauper: “Girls Just Wanna’ Have Fun”

Pointer Sisters: “I’m So Excited”

Starship: “We Built This City”

Steve Winwood: “Higher Love”

Whitney Houston: “I Wanna’ Dance With Somebody”

Survivor: “The Search Is Over”

The Outfields: “I Don’t Wanna’ Lose Your Love Tonight”

Flashdance original motion picture soundtrack

The Romantics: “What I Like About You”

Scorpions: Rock You Like A Hurricane”

Quiet Riot: “Come On (Feel The Noise)”

Pointer Sisters: “I’m So Excited”

Fabulous Thunderbirds: “Tough Enough”

Steve Perry: “Oh Sherrie”

Madonna: “Borderline”

Tiffany: “I Think We’re Alone Now”

Belinda Carlisle: “Mad About You”

Debbie Gibson: “Out Of The Blue”

Phil Collins: “Sssudio”

Lionel Richie: “All Night Long”

RUM DMC & Aerosmith: “Walk This Way”

Rick Astley: “Never Gonna’ Give You Up”

Bananarama: “Cruel Summer”

Cyndi Lauper: “Time After Time”

Kim Carnes: “Bette Davis Eyes”

Sting: “Every Breath You Take”

Heart: “What About Love”

Foreigner: “I Wanna’ Know What Love Is”

Bruce Springsteen: “Jack & Diane”

Mr. Mister: “Take These Broken Wings”

Bangles: “Hazy Shade Of Winter”

Don Henley: “Boys Of Summer”

Dire Straits: “Money For Nothing”

The Cars: “Shake It Up”

Peter Gabriel: “Big Time”

Bon Jovi: “Livin’ On A Prayer”

Allanah Myles: “Black Velvet”

Culture Club: “Karma Chamelion”

Mike & The Mechanics: “All I Need Is A Miracle”

Starship: “Sarah”

Wham: “Wake Me Up (Before You Go Go)”

Billy Ocean: “Caribbean Queen”

[typhoid-moi]

Peoplewatching

Chapter 1/3

(Gen, teenage Matt Murdock)

In O & M, Ms. Lucero taught Matt to hold his cane like a pencil, directing it with his index finger to give him control. He swings the cane to the right when he steps forward with his left foot, then swings it left when he steps with his right foot. The counterintuitive rhythm took a while to master. But he mastered it.

There’s no one else to take care of him, not unless you count Stick. And Matt’s not sure if he does.

He pulls open the heavy bodega door and carefully finds his way to the deli counter and grill at the back. Today is the first day of the month. The church gets to keep Matt’s Social Security Disability payments, but Sister Mary Ignacia always slips him some cash; he has four fives folded lengthwise in his pocket and he plans to spend one on a sandwich and a Snapple from the cold case.

The bodega is crowded. Whoever is on the grill today is talking loudly in Spanish with some other guys. Matt hears a clutter of overlapping heartbeats and starts to get overwhelmed. Who’s on line to order and who is waiting for their food and who is just here hanging out? Where should he stand? Do they see him already?

Stick gave him a breathing exercise to calm him down at times like this, but Matt can’t remember it. There is no reason for him to be here; they’ve got peanut butter back at St. Agnes’s. He turns around, reorients himself to the aisle, and taps himself back to the front of the store.

“Hey, kid,” a voice calls. “Blind kid. Hold up. I got you next!” But Matt is already pushing his way out the jangling door like a weirdo. Right foot, tap. Left foot, tap. Half-running. He trips over something he should have found with his cane, and goes sprawling. His palms sting.

No matter how fast he is, he can’t get away from himself.

::::

When he first got discharged from the hospital, different neighbors would take turns coming to sit with him while his dad was at work. “What do my eyes look like?” Matt asked Trang from 4D. One year older than him, raspberry-scented body wash, playing her GameBoy Pocket on the other end of the couch.

“They’re brown,” she said without pausing her game.

“Yeah, duh. But do they look weird? Or normal.

“Normal.”

“Do they look different at all? If you didn’t know me, would you think I could see?”

“I guess.” Trang’s breathing maintained its steady in and out. Link’s ocarina played a song. “Maybe if I wasn’t really paying attention.”

“What if you were paying attention?”

“Then I’d probably know. Because you don’t really look at things, do you?”

“Oh. Right,” Matt said.

::::

His life should feel so different now from what it used to be. But a lot of things are still the same. He still goes to City Knoll Middle School in the P.S. 111 building on West 53rd. He confesses his sins to the same priests and attends catechism class with the same kids from the neighborhood. He's known Nico Persiani by sight for years – he's the kid with the white cane and the extra-thick but mostly useless glasses. But the two of them never really talked until Matt moved to St. Agnes’s.

Now that they live in the same dorm, Nico wants to be friends. And he never shuts up. He tells Matt all kinds of personal stuff. That he’s twelve, too, and his corrected vision is 20/300 in his better eye. That his dead mom was from St. Thomas, in the Caribbean, that his white dad surrendered parental rights, but sends guilty letters when he’s drunk that the nuns love to read out loud. That the new Star Wars movie sucked, but Ewan MacGregor is actually a better Obi-Wan than Sir Alec Guiness was. That his favorite food is sushi and his favorite color is yellow.

Then, he stops himself. “Oh, man. Sorry. I’m not trying to be a jerk about it.”

“It’s cool. You’re allowed to have a favorite color.”

Matt listens to Nico’s heartbeat and the squeak of thin-soled sneakers on the linoleum as the other boy awkwardly shifts his weight. It is garbage day and the smell drifting in through the cracked window is terrible. The ceiling fan stirs the hot air, but the pressure tells Matt it’ll rain tonight. The A uptown express is passing through the tunnel under their feet and some of the older girls are in the rectory, playing Janet Jackson’s “Together Again” on repeat while they practice their routine for the dance team.

Matt’s head hurts, like it always does now, and every inch of his skin hurts. His heart hurts, too, a pain that feels real and grounded in the body. And Nico feels bad for him because he can’t see colors.

“I heard what happened to you,” says Nico.

“I know,” says Matt. Everyone has.

::::

He used to get comped tickets for Battlin’ Jack Murdock’s boxing matches. He’d sit alone in the front row and watch the fight, but in between rounds, he’d turn around and watch the crowd. Old people. Young people. Mostly men, but some women mixed in. Rich and poor, shoulder to shoulder. He’d watch their faces and body language, notice the clothes they wore, make up stories about them. Who was from out of town. Who didn’t like violence. Who had bet on the loser.

He can’t do that anymore. Now, people watch him.

::::

He notices the different ways Stick uses his cane against different surfaces. One minute, his teacher might let it skim delicately over the sidewalk, then the next, he’ll slam it against the side of a newspaper box or drag it skittering over a subway grate. Sometimes there’s a long, long wait between taps, as if Stick has actually forgotten this tool that Ms. Lucero says should function as an extension of the arm. Other times, Stick holds the cane in his fist, perpendicular to the concrete, and he brings the tip down with a hard rap, like he’s trying to poke a hole in the street. BANG. It makes Matt jump.

Maybe Stick is listening for the echoes. Maybe he’s just trying to get people’s attention so they’ll get out of his way. Matt’s not stupid enough to think that Stick doesn’t always know exactly what he’s doing. But he can’t help thinking about how it must look to anyone watching. He remembers how he used to stare at Nico, before. He knows that when he and Stick are out in public, eyes are always on them. And Stick doesn’t look very respectable. Yes, that’s why the unusual cane technique bothers him so much. Because it seems sloppy. Inconsistent.

"You get around so good,” Matt says, clothing his concern in a compliment. “Do people ever think you’re faking it?”

“Nope,” Stick says shortly. “My eyes look funny. Cataracts. You know what that is?”

“Um. Not really.”

Stick grunts. That’s his version of a shrug, a noise Matt knows means that he’s not interested in explaining further.

He grunts a lot.

::::

Matt is still painfully slow at Grade 2 contracted Braille. It takes him a long time to get through anything, so he also checks out textbooks on tape from the National Library for the Blind – each book is dozens of cassette tapes – and stays up late with his headphones, reading them both ways, over and over. His fingers tingle and his muscles are sore from training, but he is slowly getting better at everything, even if there is no one to notice or care. Matt’s IEP specifies that he should always be seated in the front of the classroom. So he can hear the teacher better? So he can find his seat easier? So someone in charge can always be watching him? He’s not really sure what the rationale is. He feels exposed.

Today, when he gets to pre-algebra, someone is sitting in his reserved seat. Matt knows it’s Brett Mahoney, one of the popular kids. He can smell the wintergreen Altoids Brett is always chewing on. He lets his cane knock into Brett’s foot and the other boy jumps up quickly.

“Oh! Sorry, man. I honestly forgot.” Then, after a pause, “Um, you know you have, like, a nasty cut? On your face?”

“Yeah,” Matt says. “Believe it or not, you are not the first person who has mentioned it. Also, I can feel it. I’m not stupid.”

“OK,” says Brett. “You know it’s bleeding, though, right?”

“It’s bleeding now?” Matt lifts his hand to his brow to check and to his surprise, his fingers come away sticky.

So that’s how Brett ends up escorting him to the nurse’s office.

“What happened, anyway?” Brett asks on the way back. Matt hates having to depend on another middle school boy for sighted lead. He doesn’t want anyone to tease Brett, so he keeps as much space between them as possible, his fingers barely touching Brett’s bicep, but Brett doesn't seem too worried about it. And it’s nice that he isn’t assuming Matt walked into something or fell down, the way the nurse just did.

Obviously he can’t explain about Stick, though. “I was fighting,” he says. It is true.

“Did you win?”

No.”

::::

Is Stick good-looking? It's really hard to guess. He’s old and crotchety, but he could be handsome in a rugged way, Matt thinks. Anything is possible. Clearly some women like him, like Sister Dora, whose pulse picks up when Stick comes to fetch him.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Matt asks him.

Stick ignores the question. “Time for you to get outta here, kid. I got another student coming in 10 minutes.”

Matt feels obscurely jealous. “He’s blind, too?”

“She,” Stick corrects. “No.”

“Huh.” Matt puts the escrima sticks back in their case. “Can she do all the things I can do?”

“She’s much better than you.”

“Does she work harder than me?”

“No. No one does. She’s just better.” He knocks his hand into Matt’s shoulder, a soft blow or a rough pat. “Haven’t I taught you yet that life isn’t fair?”

He didn’t need Stick for that lesson.

::::

Sometimes Matt just walks. He walks east into the anonymous scrum of Times Square and finds his way to Broadway, following it down through Midtown, through Union Square, into the Village and Soho and then Chinatown. It feels good to stretch his legs and the smell of the egg doughnuts from the famous cart makes his mouth water, but all the knockoff perfume shops on Canal exacerbate his perpetual headache. He passes by the arch he remembers and begins to cross the Manhattan Bridge on the footpath. Trains pass on the left with a metal rattle so deep he can feel it in the roots of his teeth.

He doesn’t have a watch, but a subtle drop in temperature tells him that the sun is going down now, the river far below darkening in a way he remembers from outings with his dad when he was a little kid. Halfway across the bridge, he pulls up his hood and stows his folded cane in his backpack. No one here will know he’s supposed to need it.

Downtown Brooklyn roars around him. Cars are getting on and off the BQE. Matt finds his way to the steps that wind down to street level, but he is afraid to stray too far; he doesn’t know these streets at all, and he has no way to reorient himself if he screws up. The river and Manhattan are behind him, he remembers, at his 6:00.

Matt promises he’ll just walk to the next block, recite the Nicene Creed, then turn around, retrace his steps, go back across the bridge the way he came. Return to the orphanage, his neighborhood, his whole life. His blood is beating in his ears. Strangers shove past, taking no notice of him. He’s just a white kid in a hoodie, wearing sunglasses at night. His footsteps are silent without the echoing tap he’s gotten used to.

Turn around, he tells himself. Turn around.

But he keeps walking. He could disappear completely.

Notes:

It's strongly suggested in that Season 3 flashback that that Sister Dora teaches at St. Agnes's and Matt goes to school there, but I think it makes more sense for him and Nico to go to public school, given their accessibility needs.

I love Father Lantom, but I am confused about whether he was around when Matt was a kid, or if they just meet in Season 1, so I left him out.

I'm visually impaired/low vision. If anyone blind reads this, please please please tell me what you think.

[roving-boi]

Dear Diary,

My dad pressured me the other day about career/school, because I don’t know what I want to do after school. He wants me to go to some sort of technical school or I dunno, get some sort of education so I’m not stuck making minimum wage. But no field really sounds good to me. Everything, all of my options just sound miserable. I’m scared to even find a career in writing or art because I know people will have expectations for me and when that happens I’m stuck fearing that I won’t satisfy anyone. I’m not really a magic machine that can write and or create the best piece of fiction ever out of thin air. I mean I guess that’s sort of how it works, but on short notice I should say. Everything that comes to me just comes to me on its own, and I take forever to actually get it down on paper. I’m not even anywhere near done my novel that I started like 2 months ago.

In other news, my mom bought a house (well it’s more of a mortgage), and it’s going to be ready to be moved into soon. It has 3 bedrooms, one for me, my brother, and my mom (and unfortunately my ex-step dad that she got back together with for some fucking reason. God I hate that guy). My mom wants me to move back in with her and be a family again. Though she wants me to graduate high school where I’m at currently and then make the choice to come live with her. Now here is the problem, my dad is quite unaware of all of this and telling him is going to cause arguments and other discourse I don’t really wanna deal with.

My aunt told me I should do whatever I want, and not worry about pleasing or hurting others. And I think it’s something I’m gonna do. I need my own space, and it lets me live somewhere more free, and much closer to work. Where my dad lives, is quite literally out in the desert in the middle of nowhere. There’s no opportunity here, there’s no work, there’s nothing. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do anything here.

I was looking at comments on an Instagram reel about people getting rejected from jobs. Like Walmart and food jobs. The basic crap. It kind of started stressing me out. I don’t plan to go to college and I don’t know what I’m going to do for money when I leave this place. I have no idea what I’m doing I’ll be honest. And I’m scared I’ll never really make enough to keep myself afloat. There’s nothing at college I even want. And the ONE thing I’m passionate about, fucking jay told me she wants to go to college and get a degree in. Ugh. Fucking great.

I’ve been having nightmares about jay. I had about 4 in a row almost. In one of them I remember driving away and driving and driving until I reached this little food area in the middle of nowhere. It had a sushi restaurant right next to a Mexican restaurant. Really weird but I stopped by and went into the Mexican restaurant. Things were peaceful for a good few minutes I think until I saw jay roll up with her stupid friends. They were going to head into the sushi restaurant but she noticed me sitting at the Mexican restaurant and decided to come in. She walked up to me and I just lost it. I grabbed her by the hair and threw her on the floor, and I started slamming her face onto the tile floor. But she wouldn’t react to it. It was if it wasn’t even hurting her. It started freaking me out and I think screamed for her to shut up because she wouldn’t stop talking. I kept slamming her head into the floor until I guess I got tired and stopped. I don’t remember how to dream ends but it was so freaky. I wanted her to stay down. She wouldn’t.

I don’t wanna see her face at school. She’s dead to me now but, I’d probably just get so angry. I’m so stressed. In other news I got a new friend group and they live really close by. Remember that boy I met at the fair in real life? He let me join his friend group and it’s been great. We voice chat together and play video games together and they make me feel included. They ask me questions, joke with me, ask for my opinion on stuff, they share stuff with me. They just make me feel like I’ve always been apart of their group. My friends at school never did that. I’ve only been hanging out with my new friends for like over a week and already it’s been a better experience than my stupid fake friend group at school.

[teyums]

since in the last post you told us about your hometown and yourself. take this one as a chance to tell us about your interests! your likes and dislikes, opinions, and just whatever you feel like.

say what's on your mind! ;)

-☘️

i love how when i’m asked basic questions about myself i completely forget who i am, this took some time 💀 also clover anon ily!

(putting a read more for those who don’t want to scroll)

likes!

- I’m obsessed with jewelry. When i say obsessed i mean obsesseddd. Both my arms are always dressed with lots of beaded bracelets. There are 12 on each arm currently. And i got them from a market here in West Africa! some from last time I visited and others from this current visit as I bought a bunch more recently. they’re all natural stone beads. I never take them off, i sleep in them, shower in them they’re basically my second skin. i have three waist beads on my waist. I wear a pearl anklet on each leg and I usually have one certain necklace i keep on for months at a time before I switch it out with another. If i’m going to play volleyball or something, i’ll remove my bracelets so I won’t break them. But I put them back on right after bc i feel naked 💀

- I love piercings! I’m very expressive through jewelry on my body. I believe I have 13 last I counted. Four on one ear, three on the other. My first lobes are gold guages, but I like to mix silver and gold jewelry. My belly button, two nostrils, a septum, my ashley (middle of the lip), my smiley, and I used to have my tongue pierced but i swallowed it LMFAOO

- i’m such a foodie i don’t think i’ve had a food i don’t like and i’m not picky at all i love trying new things. but spaghetti takes the cake for my fav (simple i know) i also really like sushi!

- i love rain, don’t like getting wet though lol

- SQUISHMALLOWSSS

- favorite colors are pale green or forest green, soft purples, and burnt oranges!

- i love animals. my favorites are my two kitties, but i also have a dog and a bearded dragon who i also love

- I LOVEEE lemonade. Literally cannot last more than two days without lemonade in my house. That and water is all I drink lol, i’m not a big soda person.

- I love to write, have been doing it since I was in middle school. As cringy as it sounds it is like an escape lol. Just give me wifi (for dictionary and thesaurus) and my notes app and you won’t hear from me for a while.

dislikes!

- i hate ignorant people like anyone should. that includes any of the “phobes” and “ists” (that are bad). transphobes, homophobes, racists, fascists, ableists. you name it i hate it lol

- loud noises. i do not do well with loud noises at allll. makes me very anxious and for some reason angry?? this also applies directly for heat. even right now, i’m in my grandma’s room because it’s quiet and cool lol

- men ❤️. although i have been cursed with being attracted to them. so maybe i should say men who AREN’T fictional

interests

- to start with the obvious one, i have been obsessed with avatar since 2009! yes me, as a 6 year old, sitting there with my eyes covered by my parents’ hands when that scene of jake and neytiri came on screen. (we have the extended movie on blu-ray). that did not stop me from looking up exactly what happened on youtube and going down the rabbit hole that still has not ended. 😭 I’ve watched the first hundreds of times with my dad, so when we found out the 2nd was coming out we actually almost shit ourselves

- often confused with avatar, one of my favorite series is avatar the last airbender. after long debate with my sisters we have decided i would be an earthbender like toph (queen!!! also the name of one of my cats <3)

- i’m very spiritual. i like to meditate, sage and incense my room multiple times a week. I’m very cautious about who i allow around me because i do believe energy is easily transferred. I’m a great judge of character and can often tell if a person is good spirited or not.

- i’m a very opinionated person. anytime something is up for debate best BELIEVE i will be there to shout my opinion from the high tops. some people hate that about me, some love it, but hey i am who i am!

- was a monster high fanatic until like 14 i can’t even lie to y’all but anybody who liked monster high is a bad bitch now sooo

- late last year i picked up crocheting, really fun once you get the hang of things! i was over the moon when i made my first tote bag you couldn’t tell me anything 😭

[sukismessylife]

Nicole’s journal 

Hi, my name is Nicole but you can call me Nikki. It’s June 2020, as I’m writing this I’m 22 and in my online psychology class. My mom is in the hospital with Covid, and her immune system is weak because of brain damage so I’m worried. My sister Helena had just turned 13 a few days ago and is in eighth grade, when I’m finished with My classes I cook dinner for Helena and I’m so stressed, but I keep reminding myself that I graduate in a few weeks and I can start planning my future with Helena. even though I’m excited to graduate, I’m also sad because I don’t want to grow up. But it’s inevitable I guess.

A few days pass and I get a call from the hospital, informing me of my mother‘s death, I am upset, but I try to hide it from Helena, Helena absolutely breaks down. She is absolutely devastated, she never met her dad and she just lost her mom. I am the only one she has left.

Helena started showing signs of borderline personality disorder, and sought out support from her school counsellor. She was having a tough time and was admitted to a psych ward a few towns over, I was all alone, but was happy to have silence so I could focus on finishing school. I got a call from the hospital telling me Helena would be in there until after I graduate.

I push through my exams and graduate with pretty good grades, Helena comes home a few days later and with my free time I celebrate by taking her out to get ice cream. I’m looking for a job and I apply to a local McDonald’s, a few days later, they respond and I get a job!

A few paycheques later, I am able to afford a small apartment for Helena and I, but with the amount of money that I am making every week we are struggling to make ants meat, so Helena gets a part-time job to help out. I spend my days working and coming home to relax and cook dinner, but I decided to download a dating app because I’ve never had a boyfriend before. I download Tinder and I start talking to this guy named Nathaniel, we start dating and everything is going well. A few months and I noticed that he stopped texting me every day and could even go days without talking to me. He has started yelling at me over little things, punching walls, breaking things around me, and threatening to hurt me. I was starting to get scared of Nathan and I didn’t know how to leave, the abuse just got worse and he started punching me whenever he got mad. He would use my body whenever he wanted, and whenever I tried to leave, he would threaten to hurt Helena. I didn’t know what to do next, I knew that I was starting to lose attraction to Nathan. Helena would notice that I come home from his house with bruises all over my body. Helena urged me to leave and if I needed to involve the police, I should. One night I got the courage to leave, he was out buying a video game while I stayed home and “cleaned”. I wrote on a sticky note that I was leaving and to not try and find me because I will involve the police.

That was months ago, I am single and happier. I’m doing much better and Helena is proud that I left. Nathan has not tried to contact me or anything. I started a job at a local hospital as a psychiatrist, I make pretty good money, enough money to move into a small house. I couldn’t do this without the help of Helena, she has her own room and she painted it purple. Helena keeps asking me if we can adopt a cat and I’m planning to for her 14th birthday. Every day, Helena comes home, talking about wanting a Maine coon and talk about how nice it would be to have a “big cat” walking around here.

Shortly after Helena’s birthday arrives, I’m able to get a reservation for dinner at a nice restaurant. When we go into the restaurant, Helena is excited and says that she wants to have sushi. After dinner, I surprise her with a Maine coon kitten that she named “Kumo.” It’s a boy and he is gray, brown and fluffy with the biggest dark brown eyes. Helena says that “he is perfect,“ I agree, I’m happy that she’s happy. She deserves to be happy.

Helena and I are finally somewhat happy and at peace I work a lot to put food on the table for my sister and I but Helena is happy and that is all that matters. One night one I come home I realize that I have a notification from voicemail and I go to check it, I realize that it’s from a number that I recognize,

ITS NATHAN. I panic, but I listen to the voicemail and he apologizes for everything and tells me “I just got broken up with. I see you got into another relationship, and I am happy for you,“ I am not in another relationship. I am happy staying single so I don’t reply and I don’t tell Helena about what had just happened. I make a police report with all of the proof I have, medical documents and text receipts etc. and finally get a restraining order against him

[major2501]

My First Coven: Material Girl

I must admit, there's something quite satisfying about a simple tea of chicken and chips especially from Nandos when you haven't been in a while. I was feeling a lot better at this point and my food was deciding to stay down which was good. We had a nice night with my Auntie M and had a decent catch up but we didn't stay out for too long as Katie had to leave early in the morning and Victoria, me and my Auntie M had stuff to do tomorrow also. She dropped us off outside our dorm and sped off back in to Hitchin where she was staying at one of the local pub hotels. She told me to get plenty of sleep as she was picking me up early tomorrow so we could go have our girly day out. Auntie M said she'd take me to Watford so we could do some serious shopping.

I slept surprisingly well considering how rough I was before. I didn't wake up in the night and I didn't have any nightmares or weird dreams. Auntie M picked me up on Saturday morning in her BMW for the trip to some shopping mall in Watford, blaring her eclectic music all the way to which we had a good sing-a-long to.

'So, you spoken to your mum recently?' Auntie M asked me as we were wandering around some department store cosmetic and fragrance department, having a squirt of the occasional perfume as we went.

'Um, earlier in the week. She rang me for ten minutes just to see how I was getting on being back studying again.'

'I see she's still as attentive as ever.' Auntie M shook her head. 'I take it her work is still occupying her every moment?'

My mum and my Aunt were pretty much the only people in my family that I spoke to. They came from a large working class family; all the siblings were women. The eldest was Miranda who was unfortunately in a care home after having several strokes, then the second eldest was my mum Miriam, then my Auntie Morrigan, and the youngest was Monica who died a few years ago in a car crash; I never really got to know her. I had a few cousins but I never got to meet them. Mum went quite peculiar after my dad died so Morrigan was the only family member she spoke to, sort of.

'I suppose I should go see her at some point.' Auntie M sighed. I knew that sigh, I did it myself a lot when my mum was involved; the woman was hard work.

Sufficiently smelling like tarts handbags, we continued wandering round the shopping mall popping in to random shops that took our fancy. I found a few things I liked, namely cosmetics and some clothes. I bought some essentials I needed; nothing special just socks and underwear but I allowed myself to get some new pyjamas and a fluffy bathrobe to match, some new jeans, a hoodie and some new boots. Auntie M hadn't found anything she liked so far.

'Come on lets go get a brew and some food, dunno about you but I'm getting a bit hungry.'

Auntie M let me choose where we were eating so I suggested Yo Sushi as the meals were pretty small and went round on a cool little conveyor belt. We both grabbed a few plates which we decided to share.

'So, there any boys you fancy at school then?' Auntie M asked me just before she shoved a chicken gyoza in her mouth. I sort of scoffed and cackled a bit before I replied.

'Absolutely not!' I exclaimed. 'Most of the guys in my year or classes are either already hooked up or they're just not my type.'

'Aw come one there's bound to be one that's like really popular that everybody fancies?'

'Well, there is Liam Blakeley. I guess he's the popular one that makes all the girls swoon or something.' I said as I poked at a strip of chicken katsu on the plate in front of me.

'Not your type? Has he got someone?'

'I dunno. He just seems, pretty unobtainable? He was staring at me though on that day I fell really ill.' I had worried the strip of chicken enough by this point and smeared it through some of the curry sauce before I ate it. Wow it was good.

'Oh that reminds me.' Auntie M started digging through her handbag then produce a small, black flat box which she handed to me. 'I got you a present, I was gonna give it you yesterday but I left it in my hotel room.'

'Thank you Auntie M but you don't need to be buying me gifts.' I smiled at her as I took the box and carefully opened it. Inside was a beautiful bracelet with alternating purple and glassy white round beads.

'It's made of amethyst and white moonstone.'

'Oh wow Auntie M I love it.' I took it out of the box and put it on my left wrist, taking a moment to admire it and how it shined.

'Just promise me you'll wear it at all times? Never take it off, even when you shower, okay?'

I don't know why she was so adamant I wore it all the time but I wasn't going to argue with her. Besides knowing my luck if I ever took it off I'd probably end up loosing it. It was too nice not too wear. I stood out of my seat and gave her a quick hug in thanks.

'I promise, I won't take it off.'

'Good. It's a full moon tonight too all the crazies will be out. C'mon, lets finish up and get back to shopping!'

We must have gone round the entire shopping centre twice and been in every single shop twice too. I didn't end up buying any more but Auntie Morrigan had finally found some things she wanted. She had bought some new perfume, some black eyeliner and a really weird smelling face mask from Lush. All she had bought had fit in to a small bag while I was walking around with umpteen bas full of stuff. Deciding we'd had enough, Auntie M bought us both a take out coffee each for the journey home which took a bit longer than it did getting here because of the Saturday afternoon traffic. I didn't mind though, I liked being in the car, singing away to whatever random tune came on the stereo.

Auntie M dropped me off outside my dorm and bid me farewell for the night as she had some work to do and calls to make. She said she'd come and get me tomorrow and we could go get dinner somewhere in town.

Victoria was in our dorm room when I made my way in, dumping my bags at the foot of my bed before I kicked off my shoes and sat down.

'Your hair looks nice Vic, you have some layers put in?' I asked admiring her new hair style.

'Yeah I didn't have much off the length but I had some shape put in. How was your shopping trip?'

'Great yeah! I got some new things nothing special. Auntie Morrigan got me this though.' I lifted my left arm up and twisted my wrist, showing off the bracelet I was given. Victoria ooh'd at the purple and white jewellery commenting on how pretty it was.

'Shall I put the telly on for a bit? You're not going out for food later are you?'

'Yeah see what's on. Auntie M has some stuff to do tonight but she's coming for me tomorrow.'

'Sweet, well we have about an hour before we need to head down to the dining hall. Ooh Antiques Road Trip is on!'

[kingdaddydaichi]

☆ title: redefining (ch. 2) | (ch. 1) ☆ (ch. 3)

☆ pairing: cop!daichi sawamura x single mom!reader

☆ wc: 3.1k

☆ synopsis: four years after leaving your toxic ex, you find yourself a single mom to a 10-year-old boy named musubi, who harbors a lot of misdirected anger. you hear from his fifth grade teacher, mr. suga, more often than your own mother and a resulting friendship is born. meeting suga’s best friend wages a war between your head and your heart - one that challenges everything you think you know about love and police officers. neither are to be trusted. both have left you lost and scared when you needed them the most. so, when a cop comes knocking at love’s door, just how strong is your resolve to keep your heart under lock and key?

☆ warnings/notes: sfw (this chapter; nsfw to come in later chapters). daichi's a cop. (mention of) dv (domestic violence).

✩ beta readers - aka my beautiful, chaotic, chosen family: @chaoskrakenuwu 🌪 @mxgenderbender 🦔

She knows every move that a man could make She knows every trick in the book She knows how to give, she knows how to take ‘Cause so many times she’s been taken a fool

Alibis - Tracy Lawrence

When Suga invited you to his place for a small dinner party with some of his closest friends, you’d offered to help him prep and cook. Your son was spending the weekend with his dad, freeing you up for some much-needed time to blow off steam.

Upon getting into your car, you called Suga to let him know you were on your way to his place.

“Are you sure you don’t need me to pick anything up on the way over?”

“Nah. I think we’re set!”

“Okay, I’ll be there in about 20 then!”

You opened the front door to Suga’s house and walked in to find him prepping in the kitchen. He wiped his hands to greet you with a hug.

“Thank you so much for coming to help me, y/n. My head would probably explode if I tried to do all this by myself!”

“Oh, it’s my pleasure! I love to cook. Plus it gives me more time to hang out with my bestie,” you said, putting away the alcohol and mixers you’d brought along. “I’m really excited to meet your other friends. I hope they like me.”

The grey-haired man smiled brightly. “Are you kidding? They’re gonna love you! I’ve known all these guys since high school. A couple of them are bringing their significant others along so it won’t be a complete sausage fest for you.”

“You make it sound like a sausage fest would be a bad thing,” you winked at him.

You both laughed and got busy preparing the food, Suga inwardly rubbing his hands together and evil-laughing. You had no idea about his master plan for you to meet one of his friends in particular - his best friend.

You had been working in the kitchen for a little over two hours when you finally found yourselves at a brief stopping point. Veggies had been julienned for the sushi, fish had been fileted, chicken had been teriyakied, rice had been fried, and more veggies were roasting in the oven. All that was left to do was cook the sushi rice then assemble the maki.

Poor Suga was so beat you insisted he go take a load off and relax for a bit while he could. The way he dramatically plopped onto the couch like a rag doll made you chuckle at him.

“You too, y/n! Come sit your ass down!”

“In a minute! I’m working on something!” you said, getting out a couple of cocktail glasses.

“No! I forbid you! No more working!” Suga called out from his living room.

“I promise it’s gonna be worth it!” you answered in a sing-song voice.

You walked out of the kitchen double-fisting vodka tonics. You sat down next to your friend who reached for one of the drinks, thanking you, but you pulled your arm back. “Go get your own! These are both mine!”

“You fucking lush, give me one of those!” Suga chided, taking one of the glasses out of your hand as you both laughed.

“How long do we have before we have to get back in there?” you asked, pulling your feet up on the couch to face Suga.

He took a sip of his drink while checking the timer in his phone. “Fifteen minutes and 42 seconds.” It was then that Suga noticed he’d gotten a text from his best friend letting him know he was going to be a little later than expected on account of his job.

When the timer went off you both headed back into the kitchen and Suga was just about to take the veggies out of the oven when his doorbell rang, making him swear under his breath at the timing.

“You want me to get the door?” you offered.

“You don’t mind?”

“Not at all!”

Suga thanked you as you headed for the foyer. Smiling, you opened the door to find a handsome guy with brown shoulder-length hair towering over you, his girlfriend judging by the way they had their arms around each other, as well as another male who was closer to your height with a sharp grin on his face.

Before you could say anything the significantly shorter male spoke up. “Hey, you must be y/n!”

You answered in the affirmative and he introduced himself. “I’m Yuu, but everyone calls me Nishinoya. Or Nishi. Or Noya.”

“Nishi!” the taller guy said.

“The impatient giant here is Asahi,” Nishinoya continued, “and this is his girlfriend, (name).”

You all exchanged pleasantries as you made your way inside to join Suga, with whom hugs and fist bumps were shared.

“So the old team captain isn’t here yet, hm?” Asahi asked Suga.

The host shook his head. “He texted earlier and said he was gonna be a little late.”

Putting two and two together, you said, “Oh, right! Suga told me that you guys played volleyball together in high school?”

“Yeah, he was the team mom, always cheering us on and talking sense into us when we needed it,” Nishinoya said.

“Which was often,” the former vice-captain mumbled as he tipped his drink to his lips.

You ignored Suga’s smartass remark and spoke to Noya’s statement instead. “Sounds about right,” you teased, playfully poking Suga in the side as you helped him make drinks for everyone.

At Asahi’s request, you explained how you’d become friends with the host. Suga’s former teammates laughed and took turns telling you about his mischievous ways, especially in volleyball club. Asahi’s girlfriend was a little shy at first but she warmed up, laughing as the guys reminisced about their glory days.

“Okay, literally the only thing I know about volleyball is that you rotate and try to hit a ball over a net,” you confessed. “Like human ping pong.”

“Actually, tennis is more like ping pong,” Nishinoya pointed out. “Volleyball is way more badass than that!”

Just as you laughed at the former libero’s emphatic correction, another ring of the doorbell came. Suga answered it and less than a minute later a very loud voice came barreling down the short corridor. Nishinoya and Asahi looked at each other and no sooner than they flatly said “Ryu”, a slim guy with a buzzed head and sharp eyes appeared in the dining room with his hands in the air yelling, “The Tanakas are here! Let the party begin!” He was followed by his stunning wife, whose name you would soon learn was Akira.

“We come bearing booze!” she slurred, an already tipsy woman after your own heart. “Now which one of you beautiful people is going to help me bring this shit inside?”

“I will!” you exclaimed with a smile wide enough to light up the room as you shuffled towards her. “You can never have too much!”

“Great fucking minds!” Akira proclaimed, her face lighting up as well.

“There goes the damn neighborhood!” Suga shouted as the two of you frolicked out the door while introducing yourselves.

Having Nishinoya and Ryu in the same room tripled the noise volume but everyone was nearly in tears now that another former Karasuno volleyball player was in on the storytelling, especially with his riotous wife’s witty commentary.

Not long after they arrived, a fresh round of drinks were being poured when the doorbell rang yet again. You shooed Suga back to the kitchen, oblivious to his half-hearted attempt to beat you to it in the first place.

You were laughing at Akira’s rendition of her husband’s latest knucklehead moment. But you fell silent when you swung the door open to find a pair of big brown eyes, warm like melted chocolate, looking back into yours. A lifetime of conversations seemed to pass between you in a matter of seconds.

Whoever he was stood there in his grey pullover and dark khaki cargo pants looking finer than a man should be allowed to. His energy enveloped you along with his scent as a perfectly timed breeze flowed in behind him.

“Uh, hi. Can I come in? It’s kinda cold out here.”

“Oh.” You stepped aside. “O-of course! I’m so sorry.”

His voice was deep and rich with an understated commanding tone, one that you surmised would sound particularly sexy murmuring sweet nothings and dirty thoughts in your ear.

His crooked, boyish grin reached his milk chocolate eyes. “It’s fine. Don’t mind,” he said as he stepped in beside you. He closed the door behind himself and took his shoes off.

“I don’t believe we’ve met before. I’m Daichi,” he said, extending his hand.

You slid your hand into his, warm and strong, and replied, “Pleased to meet you, Daichi. I’m y/n.”

Suga had been secretly spying on you from the kitchen, leaning against the countertop while laughing with the unassuming Ryu and Nishinoya at the appropriate moments. Now he watched with quiet delight as you and Daichi walked in from the foyer together. He was right - the two of you would make a sickeningly cute couple, and for a moment he had a vision of you walking down the aisle together.

“Daichi!” Suga called out when his best friend looked at him, pretending he hadn’t noticed him before. The other former Karasuno team members all greeted him with shoulder punches and man hugs.

Of course, Ryu couldn’t help but give his former team captain a little grief. “Took you long enough, man. Even I beat you here!”

“Only because Akira here probably lit a fire under your ass!” Daichi jeered as he side-hugged the nodding female in question.

“And what a sweet ass it is,” she quipped, reaching over to pinch her husband’s butt.

Suga approached Daichi, smiling before punching him in the chest. “Good to see you, bro!”

Daichi clutched his chest and coughed. “Sorry, man, got a DV call from dispatch right before the end of my shift. By the time I got done with all the paperwork, I was running an hour behind.”

You knew all too well what ‘DV’ meant, putting everything together rather quickly.

“Oh…” You felt a riptide within you; one that drew you closer to Daichi, but at the same time pulled you away. “You’re Suga’s cop friend!”

“Yes, ma’am,” Daichi answered in his smooth, silky voice with a crooked grin.

Oh, gods help you. You were at once smitten and repelled by him. Smitten because of who he was; repelled because of what he did for a living. The commanding presence made sense now.

“Oh, right! You two haven’t been introduced yet!” Suga exclaimed, the sneaky bastard feigning ignorance. “Y/n, this is Daichi. He’s been my best friend since high school,” he said before turning to said best friend. “Daichi, this is y/n. We’ve only known each other for a couple months, but she’s basically me with a vagina!” This earned him a playful slap to the chest, though he wasn’t wrong.

The laughter in the next room reached a new, raucous height and Suga’s name was called. He looked between you and Daichi and said, “Excuse me while I go tend to the children.” He shuffled away, leaving you and Daichi alone together.

“Do you drink? I’ll get something for you,” you offered.

There was that boyish smile again, making you curse inwardly at the way your heart leapt every time he looked at you.

“No, thank you, ma’am. I’ll get it myself,” he said, moving around the kitchen like he knew it by heart. He went right to the place where Suga kept his drinking glasses, taking one out and placing it on the countertop before turning to the liquor cabinet. “Suga said you helped him with all the cooking and everything. Why don’t you go take a seat and relax?” He flashed you another crooked grin.

“Yeah, y/n, Daichi spends so much time here, he’s even got his own private whiskey stash,” Suga added, sauntering into the kitchen again.

“And by stash he means one bottle,” the dark-haired male said as he poured two fingers neat.

You were snickering at their brotherly banter when Nishinoya called out for you. “Come check this out! Ryu’s got some old team pictures on his phone!”

“Oooh! I have to see this!” you said, scurrying into the dining room where the former Karasuno wing spiker’s phone was being passed around.

As soon as you were out of earshot, Suga almost laughed at the way his best friend sidled up to him, drink in hand, and murmured, “Suga, you dog! A couple of months? You’ve been holding out on me!”

“She’s not my date,” Suga said smugly. “We’re just friends.”

Daichi gave Suga a look of deep concern. “Why? She’s fucking gorgeous!”

“Believe me, we tried.”

Daichi narrowed his eyes at his friend. “What do you mean you tried?” He wasn’t too keen on the idea of having his best friend’s sloppy seconds.

“We kissed once just to see if we could be more than friends, but no. Just…no. Seriously, we’re just too much alike.”

Daichi blinked. “Y-you mean…? Is she single?”

Suga’s smug grin persisted when he closed his eyes and nodded his head. “She sure is. You like her?”

Daichi watched and admired your beauty as you laughed and aww’ed at the pictures from their high school volleyball days.

Suga slapped him on the back as he pushed off the counter. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

From the photos you could tell that, even when he was 17, Daichi looked like an adult. So did Asahi for that matter. But even then Daichi had an aura about him that said he was in charge. And Suga was so stinking cute you almost cried. They hadn’t changed much in the 10 years since.

During dinner you sat across from Daichi, who made eye contact with you several times, especially when you laughed. The guys took turns telling you about their respective positions back at Karasuno, but Daichi was the one who took the most time to explain the game mechanics to you. To most people, that would probably be boring, but Daichi had a way of making it interesting. The fact that he was so handsome didn’t hurt, especially when you focused on his lips as they moved. Even his former teammates, who knew the game all too well, got sucked into their former leader’s easy-to-understand but also very accurate way of explaining the game of volleyball, occasionally chiming in to drive a point home or tell another story.

After everyone had finished eating, you all sat around the table and talked for a while before the Tanakas announced their departure. Nishinoya, Asahi, and his partner left not too long afterwards.

And then there were three.

You and Daichi insisted on helping Suga with the clean-up, which didn’t take very long with all of you tag-teaming tasks. You chatted with them for a few more minutes, but it was getting late.

“Well, guys, it’s been real and it’s been fun, but I gotta get back home. I’m wiped out,” you said, dragging the back of your hand across your forehead.

“Y/n, thank you so much for helping. I couldn’t have done all this without you,” Suga said, hugging you.

Hugging him back, you smiled and said, “You’re so welcome, Suga. It’s been my pleasure.”

With his arms crossed over his wide chest, Daichi lifted his chin at you and said, “How much have you had to drink tonight?”

You opened your mouth, but your grey-haired friend jumped in with suspicious enthusiasm. “She’s been drinking since 6:20!”

You gawked at Suga, a satisfied grin plastered across his smarmy face. “Did you just tattle-tell on me?”

Daichi looked from Suga to you, pursed his lips, and raised his eyebrows. “You don’t need to drive. You can either stay here with Suga or I’ll give you a ride home tonight.” You pouted and Daichi shrugged. “Or I can take you to the drunk tank.”

“You know what, the drunk tank sounds like fun, why don’t you take me there?” you said, smiling.

Daichi chuckled. “I think you’ve had enough fun for one night. I’d rather take you home.” He caught himself right after he’d got the words out, Suga already snickering. “I meant like ‘make sure you make it home okay’. Pervert,” he said, ribbing Suga.

Your laugh lingered on your lips when you offered your wrists to him and said, “Well, since you put it that way, Officer Sawamura,” making his soft cock twitch in his pants and his cheeks tinge with pink.

Embarrassed a little he scratched the back of his head while looking away. “I don’t think handcuffs are going to be necessary. I don’t have them on me anyway.”

“What if I resist arrest? How would you restrain me?”

Suga was an absolute mess on the inside, trying to keep it together. You and Daichi were so pleasantly lost in banter that neither of you noticed when he strategically walked away to pretend to dry dishes.

The dark-haired police officer smirked and said, “I…really shouldn’t answer that. I plead the fifth.”

Now your cheeks became visibly warm. “Then how about you show me instead?”

Suga nearly choked on his spit, but kept his back turned as he dried the same plate he’d been drying for two minutes straight.

Daichi’s smirk spread into a full grin as he shook his head, laughing quietly. Leaning with his back against the countertop he gestured with his hand and said, “Sure.”

Your heart skipped a million beats.

“Turn around and walk away from me,” he commanded, nodding to indicate the direction.

You smiled and did as he said. Your right foot had barely lifted to take your first step when Daichi looped his strong hands around your wrists, one then the other. It didn’t take much force for him to cross your arms behind your back and hold them together with one hand while he stood so close behind you that his chest rubbed your shoulder.

You gasped. “Wowww…That was fast!” You looked over your shoulder at him. “But what if I struggle?”

“Go ahead,” he dared, the heat of his breath caressing your ear.

Suga cleared his throat dramatically. “Do I need to give you two some privacy?” he said, grinning his most mischievous grin.

Daichi let go of you and straightened up as if he’d forgotten Suga was even there. Damn, you were getting to him.

“Alright,” Daichi said, “let’s get going. You ready?”

You nodded and followed him to the door, stopping in the foyer to put your shoes on. Daichi opened the door for you as you waved goodbye to your friend and walked outside. When Daichi turned around to close the door, Suga winked at him while making a lewd gesture, earning him a death stare from his long-time friend.

ch. 1 ☆ ch. 3

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