#my dad hates his dad because he was a horrible bully to everyone but especially my grandmother

[somanyants]

I know it’s technically called “““intergenerational trauma”””” buts it’s honestly so funny to me how extremely hereditary daddy issues are. It’s like, yeah, I come from a long line of daddy issue havers. My great great grandfather had daddy issues so hard he emigrated to a new continent and we’ve worked hard to uphold that tradition for six generations.

[hearts401]

I honestly hate how the fandom treats Michael as a hero and I'm seeing posts about it so I feel a liiiittle better talkign about it

my moots are holding back, i can tell. but hes my favorite so im not. and im a little pissed writing this bc. bc i relate to cc a lot. and seeing ppl mischaracterize not only my favorite character but also someone who reminds me of people who fucking suck drives me INSANE.

so psa, im pissed as fuck and i love michael afton.

First off, he killed Evan. That's obvious. Not only was that literall 100% his fault (NOT WILLIAMS IT PISSES ME OFF WHEN PPL MAKE THAT ALL ABOUT WILLIAM SHUT THE FUVCK UP

he was a bully. yeah he was a kid. yeah he was messing with him. Have you considered he was literally. abusive to his brother. i know the fnaf fandom is scared of using that word to describe him but its fucking true. he was abusive. as fuck. that was awful what he did he wasnt just a bully he harassed him and literally locked him in his room. he was fucking horrible.

and yeah, he didnt mean for that to happen, but not only was that stupid as fuck, i hate any interpritation of "he wanted to be like his dad" "his friends coerced him" PLAY FNAF 4. PLAY FNAF 4. FUCKING PLAY FNAF 4 LOOK AT HIS DIALOGUE AND WHAT HE DOES

HE LITERALLY. EGGED IT ON. IT WAS HIS FUCKING IDEA. WHAT PART OF THAT GAVE "he was coerced" THUSHFUDFUDSIOFDUSOFDSIOS

im trying to be normal

Yeah he probably felt like shit after. yeah it probably was some sort of motivator behind his actions. but lets think. lets think.

fnaf 1 and 2 take place before SL, no? So. if thats true. why didnt he burn those down? to "free the souls?" because it was never about the children.

he burned down the fnaf 3 location to get rid of william. it was ALWAYS abotu william. sure he set the kids free but i reeeeaaallyy dont think that was his intention. it was always about william.

in sister location, did he go there out of the kindness of his heart? no he went there because william asked him too. it was ALWAYS about william. and yeah he probably wanted to help liz, he probably really wanted to help her, but based on his actions, was this really for her? or was it for closure

thats something about michael that i put in shitty brother. closure. he didnt actually want to reconcile with his family, he wanted closure on the guilt he felt. is that 100% wrong? no. its normal to want closure, especially after something like that. but also that should not be his goal

did he apologize? yes. he said sorry. he felt bad, sure. but when you kill someone tehy dont come back. evan deserves to never forgive him ever because that was dumb as fuck and HORRIBLE. IT WAS HORRIBLE. ABUSIVE. ILL SAY IT AGAIN

MICHAEL AFTON ABUSED HIS LITTLE BROTHER FOR NO FUCKING REASON.

yeah. abused. say it with me. A-B-U-S-E-D

not just bullied, not just harassed, ABUSED.

ik we're all scared to say it here but its fucking true. say it with ur chest.

this always came back to william. do i thinkk michael is unfeeling and doesnt care about his siblings at all? NO! I think his siblings drove a lot of his actions. but in the end i dont think he always acted with their best interest at heart. or the mci kids'

and the whole "he wanted to be like his dad" i dont fucking care actually. no seriously sit down beside me and tell me that wanting to be like his dad is an excuse for abusing his brother. seriously come closer i wont bite.

tell me how you think that AS A TEENAGER, 100% AWARE OF HIS ACTIONS, that wanting to be like his dad justifies abusing his little brother. his little brother. who as far as we know, never lashed out, never fought back, never did anything to him. tell me how he fucking deserved that

"Michael was just a kid!" so was Evan. So was Elizabeth. So was Cassidy and Charlie and all the kids who died.

tell me how much michael did that didnt revolve around closure and his father. like i get it, he had priorities, but can we please stop acting like he's some angel working for the greater good of everyone.

it feelslike how ppl treat fucking henry. NO HES NOT A GOOD PERSON PLEASE

MICHAEL IS SELFISH HE'S MESSY HE'S STUPID. HE MAKES BAD CHOICES IN FAVOR OF HIMSELF HE PRIORITIZES REVENGE OVER THE GREATER GOOD HE HURTS PEOPLE AND IT MAKES HIM SO MUHC MORE INTERESTING

oh and also in case anybody wants to pull dittophobia out and tell me how mike went thru that trauma

so did evan. and instead of bonding over that trauma, michael harassed him. ABUSED HIM. wording is important. im sorry for repeating myself so much, but nobody ever tells it how it is. it was abuse.

edit: People seem upset by my wording and honestly? fair. i couldve worded this a lot better but i was tired and irritated and one thing i will clarify

i dont care if u dont see adult michael the way i do. i see him as a selfish obsessive guy whos intent is to fix his family, but plenty of people see it differently and thats okay! /gen

but im not taking back anythign i said about teen michael. because i think to do that is unfair to his character and frankly bullshit. i think its bullshit. and i dont care if you disagree. he was a terrible brother and thats that

but adult mike is free real estate idk idrc abt him as much as teen mike.

[genderflu1dwh0r]

Are you stupid?

You can be racist and have POC friends, Jason is way worse than Billy any day. Jason isn't the one being abused by his father everyday, he isn't poor, he didn't get taken from his home and live with a step sibling that he didn't know that well.

Jason is a horrible person and got his friend to tackle Erica, then he held a gun at Lucas. You can't tell me that that isn't racist, you can't tell me that's worse than what Billy ever did. Jason said "I thought you were one of the good ones". That. Is. Racist.

Billy got his bad traits from his father. Billy got beat by his father. Billy was crying into the phone for his mom to come home. Billy had no support system. Steve was the only person that Billy bullied and tormented, and in my opinion, Steve is a worse character than Billy.

Steve threw slurs, while Billy got slurs thrown at him by his own father. Just because you don't care about abuse victims, doesn't mean you have to spread your hate.

I think that Billy just wanted Lucas to stop hanging around because if Neil found out, Billy would be the one getting beat. Neil would probably hurt Lucas way more than Billy could have ever done. Billy was protecting Max and himself, he was scared that Neil would find out. He did care and love Max, he just showed it in some confusing ways.

Also, the Duffer brothers are racist, they wanted Dacre to say the N word. Dacre protested and it ended up not happening. Billy saying the N word isn't canon, cause it didn't happen in the show. Stop always going to that excuse for him being a bad person. He never said any slur.

People say "if the actor wasn't hot, then people wouldn't have liked him" and I disagree. His character is very interesting. He has a backstory, he has trauma, he has an actual interesting plot unlike any other character. Dacre is also a very amazing actor, he was able to make Billy even more interesting.

Dacre has said that his art imitates his life. He put his own life into the character, he didn't have a great relationship with his dad, he has said this.

Max is a horrible person too, she drugged Billy with something that she didn't know was in, almost hit him with Steve's bat, screamed at him before leaving and stealing his car. Billy could have died on the floor, he was drugged and had no car. Tell me that that isn't abuse. Just because Billy grabbed her wrist ONE time, doesn't mean it's abuse.

Siblings fight all the time, it's just what happens. Especially how their family dynamics was. I and many others have fights with our siblings. You get over it in like a day. That doesn't make Billy a bad person. He did some really shitty things, yes. But that doesn't excuse all the hate he gets. He's a complex character, no other character is like him.

That's why he's my baby boy. I relate to him, I'm an abuse victim, I love knowing that I have a character to relate to. Stop blaming abuse victims on how they grew up, they can change. He could have changed if he didn't die. He could have, but nobody let him.

Nobody tried to help him. He didn't have a support system. The people who compare Jonathan to Billy are wild, cause Jonathan did have a support system, his mother did so much. Billy had nobody. His father beat him, hi stepmother did NOTHING to stop Neil, she just watched. She was clearly abused too, but she's the adult, she has to be there for Billy. She has to get Max away from all of this, which in season 4, she did. But she turned into an even worse mom.

Right here. He was trying to get help, he was trying to get the MF to get out. He wanted someone to help him. He kept fighting, and that's how he saved everyone on the day he died. He knew he was going to die, he was sobbing.

Try to think before talking bad against Billy.

Why do people say Vecna/Henry/Jason/Troy/James/Angela are better than Billy?

Vecna/Henry literally tried to kill children and the whole world. Billy wanted to have some fun and games, he would never go to prison for killing a child. He was never going to hit Mike, Lucas, Dustin, or Will.

Troy/James made Mike jump off of a fucking cliff while wanting to take Dustins teeth out. Tell me that isn't fucked. MIKE WOULD HAVE DIED IF EL WASN'T THERE!!

Jason held a fucking gun to Lucas's head and got Erica hurt. He sent a witch-hunt over Eddie and that ended up killing that poor boy. Literally, he was poor and Jason is a rich christian white boy. Tell me that isn't classist. Jason also did this to get information out of a kid.

Angela deserved the roller skate to the face for what she did to El. I would have done the same thing, El never deserved any of what she went through there.

Anyone going to object? Cause you can't, my points are spot on. Why aren't we gonna get mad at Jamie Campbell Bower over saying he relates to Vecna/Henry? If Dacre is bad for doing so, why can't we shame Jamie for the same thing?

I would count the MF taking over Billy like that as a reference of sexual assault. His body gets taken away from him, he is crying for help, he is scared and tried to tell someone. I've talked to SA survivors and they agree.

Anyway, I am pissed at Billy antis and I am just so done with them.

[destinygoldenstar]

As a kid watching Ninjago, I was just interested in the flashy powers, and the heroics of the main characters, like any kid would. Like, 'Aw these guys are so heroic and selfless and awesome'

But now as an adult, when I recommended my GF the show, I specifically said "This is Family Issues: The Lego Cartoon"

Honestly, Jay likes to complain and hide his upbringing, but he's probably the ONLY ninja with any resemblance of a normal happy childhood and backstory. He has two loving parents who supported him, and was an aspiring inventor.

You could argue Fritz Donegan rectified it, but Jay didn't know this, so how would this affect how is childhood turned out?

At worst, he was dirt poor, living in a junkyard and all, but compared to what the rest of his team went through, I think they'd WANT what Jay had.

Nah, instead most of Jay's trauma and emotional baggage is in the present.

And who else do we have?

We have a robot who didn't even know he was a robot, or had any idea of his identity or memory, so much so that he was just... wandering around the land with amnesia. (Then, you know, everyone thought he was weird)

We have Cole, who grew up in a harsh family background where his dad forced/pressured his kid to be a musician, and canonically suffered depression and bad violence habits after the loss of his mother/during her illness. (Idk about those other Royal Blacksmiths if they are in the family or not, but either way they didn't seem supportive)

Kai and Nya's parents up and vanished from their lives at ages five and three, and they had to raise each other all by themselves with just a blacksmith shop. Basically means they were forced to end their childhoods right there, especially Kai, because older sibling. And there's no indication they had any friends or anyone to help them in their town, at most there was that one lady that they hated, so... ouch.

And... Lloyd.

Just Lloyd.

Half of the show is just Lloyd suffering.

Born as the son of a man forced into an evil oni maniac, said father ditched his entire family.

Mom decided it was a good idea to abandon her kid in a boarding school about villainy. (That's like, the ONE thing I genuinely think the movie did better than the show.)

And that school heavily bullied Lloyd and even exiled him, forcing him on the streets, basically

Everyone hates him and doesn't help him (until Pythor)

Gets tricked by Pythor

Gets kidnapped by Serphantine

Nearly dies in lava

Is given a destiny as the savior of all of Ninjago where he's forced to be on opposite sides of his father, and part of said destiny involves him needing to kill him

AGAINST HIS WILL MIND YOU

Was LITERALLY forced to give up his childhood for this destiny

Was tortured by the Overlord for his golden power

Ice Ninja died

He got his father back, and then he died.

Was possessed by an evil ghost tyrant and was forced to do horrible stuff with no control over himself

Was also physically strained to his limit with that possession

Lost his uncle

Fell in love, and then said crush turns out to be a twist villain who wants to TORTURE him, resurrect his father and steal that fatherly love from him, and have said father try to KILL HIM

Which he was very close to succeeding at

Has to live in hiding for a week thinking all his friends are dead

Twist villain crush dies in a building collapse

That traumatizes him and haunts his trust and empathy towards people for A LONG TIME

Gets cubed in a video game (idk if that counts as trauma)

He's also a dragon oni hybrid, and his oni hide haunts his mind for his entire life, and is terrified to even think of a part of himself

Merge. For weeks he thought all his friends were dead. (Again)

And you know, physical beatdowns from being the Green Ninja, one of the most responsible jobs as the savior of all of Ninjago.

And that is not even everything, I'm sure there's a lot of stuff I didn't mention.

This poor, poor Emo Child.

If this wasn't a Lego show, this would have a Clone Wars tone, I'm convinced.

So yeah, 'Family Issues: The cartoon'.

At least they all have each other. They're a happy found family, and the light in each other's lives. They're here for each other. Their dynamics are precious to me.

[universaln0b0dy]

Chloe Bourgeois (Mlb rewrite)

[Note] Hey, hey! I wanted to start rewriting and designing miraculous for the fun of it. Please note that this is just for fun and giggles! I will try to keep the rewrite as close to the show as possible, at the same time I want to put as much of my ideas into it as I can. Also this is probably an angst au, because of my 3 am brainrot.

Chloe Bourgeois

Chloe, Chloe, Chloe. Oh boy where do I start. Chloe could have been such a good character, especially since it was hinted at that she has actual trauma and has to move on from it, but that Astruc had to butcher into..... well what she is at the moment. Tbh, I wouldn't have minded if Chloe was more vile, but the show tried to do this waayyyy to late. So I will try to villanize Chloe and hand her a redemption arc!

Backstory:

Chloe grew up in paris and as far as she knew, her family always had been damaged and she knew it had something to do with her and her 3 years older sister Zoe. Chloe grew up rich and spoiled and up until she was 5 she also had a parental figure. Until her parents divorce.

Suddenly Chloe was alone, surrounded by money, but alone. She knew her sister had done something for her, a sacrifice that saved Chloe in more than one way. She claimed to be the child born out of wedlock.

Chloe's and Zoes mother had been cheating on Andre for years now and through a secret informant he found out that one of his children wasn't his, causing the divorce. Before that he had been a neglectful but I guess you could call it "loving" father.

He demanded to know which of his children wasn't his and told Audrey to leave with her. Audrey didn't remember who was Andre's kid and so Zoe decided to say she wasn't his child, so that Chloe would get the better half of two horrible parents.

Now the five year old Chloe had nothing except money. Her role model was her cheating and manipulative father and a mother who only cared about fame. Chloe would become narcissistic, spoiled, envious, power hungry and manipulative under her father and she acted like it.

Until her father introduced her to Adrien, who would become her friend. In Adrien she saw someone she wanted to protect and cared about, so she thought that was love.

When she was 10 she was introduced to Sabrina in school, who she immediately took as her servant. (Who she secretly cared about) During this time she also realized that inflicting fear gave her power over othersand she decided that picking Marinette as her subject of her bullying would be ideal. Chloe hated Marinette, who had caring parents and always looked so happy. Chloe wanted to see Marinette's smile falter. And while it brought her short lived joy, Chloe always felt empty afterwards, so she decided to do worse things.

It continues on, till season 3, when she finds the bee miraculous. She heard all about lady Bug and since she starts to care more and more about Sabrina, Chloe decides she will also become a secret hero in order to save others. For fame of course. (Keep telling yourself that)

Her Personality:

(Season 1-2)

Narcissistic and self centred. Chloe didn't care about anyone but herself, she had been the person to give herself love for years after all. No one did it for her, so why should she care about anyone else?

Manipulative. Yeah, she got that from her dad. He manipulates and blackmails people for his business, so she does that in school. She uses people's emotions to her advantage and while she doesn't sound like it she is people smart. (If she hadn't been so neglected and had such horrible role models, she could have been a very empathetic person)

Smart. Chloe is not stupid, just lazy. Yes others are forced to do her homework but she still aces every test, like even the teachers are suprised.

Envious. Yes, she is jealous of everyone around her. She wished she had nice parents, she wished she had her older sister, she wished she was good at designing, she wished she was good acting, so Chloe hates everyone who is able to do any of these things.

(Season 3)

BOOM! Redemption arc is starting. During a villain attach Sabrina gets injured and Chloe actually cared! For real! Chloe was devastated, she was crying! She was shocked to notice how powerless she is.

(As Queen bee)

Look, Sabrina's injury is the reason she decided to be a secret hero. This simple thing made Chloe's motive shift from fame, to I actually care.

Quick thinker and level headed. Remember that I said Chloe is smart? Well here all of that comes handy! Queen bee is witty and can point out flaws in lady Bugs plans. She also rarely panics during villain attacks.

Honest and kind. As Queen bee Chloe shows what she kept to herself. She is truthful about her faults as a hero and through a talk with lady Bug she realizes that she and the spotted hero have a few things in common.

Patient and forgiving. Yeah, with the miraculous Chloe is not Chloe anymore. If you saw Queen bee you would doubt she was Chloe, so it is no suprise she is patient and doesn't hold grudges with akumatised victims. You can tell her your whole life story and she will sit there and listen!

(As Chloe)

Chloe doesn't change that much, but you can feel Queen bee bleed into her personality. For example as she is forced to work with Marinette she other hears her speaking with her mum. "Oh? Isn't Chloe the girl you told us about? Glad you finally initiated getting along with her." Chloe knows a lot about people and that is not how parents should react if the bully of their daughter was present. Chloe decides that being nice to Marinette wouldn't hurt.

Chloe shows that she cares about Adrien and sabrina. For the former, through pointing out Marinette's creepy behaviour and for the latter by helping her study and buying her gifts. (According to Chloe: old rags she doesn't need anymore. Ignoring she forgot the price tag)

Happier. Chloe becomes happier more social, less I hate everything and everyone, so yay!

(Season 4-5)

So for the first part of season 4 chloe becomes very gloomy and sad, because she finds out why her sister had to leave and also finds out that she is the child born out of wedlock. Also she is incredibly angry that her father hid the letters Zoe send her from her and almost ruined chloe's chance to ever meet her sister again.

Confident and Sassy. Look, Chloe deserves to be confident and sassy, she is a superhero! And a good one at that, though lady Bug does take the miraculous from her, Chloe gets it back through Zoe!

Hopeful. Yeah, I am revealing way too much plot over here, but one of the side plot lines is that Zoe and Chloe get to talk again, because chloe is handed a letter by Audrey's assistant, which tells her about the other 900 letters- long story short, Zoe comes to paris to battle her father for custody over Chloe and Chloe Hope's she wins!

Mature. Chloe matures, just like all miraculous holders. She stops bullying Marinette and even starts doing her homework herself. She still has drawbacks to her her horrible personality, but she becomes a better person every day.

Drawing:

I'm way to crazy about this design, you might not like it, but I do.

Her every day outfit is simple, but tbh I like the idea that her outfit looks simple, but it's quite littarly all famous brands. I also forgot her glasses which kinda destroys me, but hey.

So for her costume, I based it all around the fact that Chloe is a QUEEN BEE. She isn't just any bee, she is a queen bee. Despite being mean, Chloe is a capable leader.

Well now that this is finished, I'll write Alya next. See you in our next drawting session!^^

[demon-of-the-ancient-world]

Modern Au Athelstan headcanons

Back on my bullshit

Wears glasses and has horrible eyesight

And Ragnar teases him about it

Probably got them as a kid too

Wasn't full on bullied as a kid (I feel like other kids tried but he just gave zero reaction because he's a litttttle bit oblivious) but did get teased a bit for being really really short for his age and also the huge glasses

I swear I didn't steal this from @procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics it's been in my head a while and believe me I was Shook when it turned out to be their headcanon too but anyway Athelstan was a foster kid

Never knew his birth family, just knows he had a lot of siblings

Was never officially adopted by anyone, I like to think that the last family he lived with was really good to him though and helped him learn to navigate the world as a young adult

Still sees that family occasionally after he goes to school, they were the people he was closest to out of all his childhood

Ok I actually have a highly specific au in my head where OF COURSE years later he meets Ragnar and Lagertha and their kids but it turns out THEY were former foster parents who he'd lived with when he was really young before their own kids were born and for whatever reason he had to be given to another family and they were heartbroken about it but then they recognize each other and I cry

Got a scholarship to go to a decent university (was always a straight A student let's be real this boy's a massive nerd) and ended up studying something history related but I can't decide what

It's gonna be like either religious history or ancient languages or something (or maybe just Medieval art idk I didn't go to uni I don't know what they get up to in there)

Is a little embarrassed by his name. Most people call him Stan or Ath - if the full name comes out Something Is Wrong

(But Ragnar and Lagertha both call him by his full name whenever, they've earned that privilege)

I love love love the thought of him meeting them via babysitting/tutoring their kids

I know I know I know romance is popular but in this au I always liked the idea of them kind of pseudo adopting him. Even before they've recognized him they're like "this one needs a family we're taking him home"

Lagertha especially her mom instincts kick in the second she sees his little face. This one belongs to her now.

Ragnar calls Athelstan "kid"

(It turns out he didn't properly remember his name until several months after they'd met)

Their family is Norwegian/Danish but live in England which is where Athelstan meets them

When he starts going to their house (because they invite him for dinner almost right away after he's started looking after the kids) and realizes all 3 languages get spoken sort of haphazardly around the house he makes a determined effort to learn them on his own because he wants to communicate with them in more ways than one

They aren't *rich* but definitely have a lot more money than what Athelstan grew up with and he's more than a little surprised to say the least when he finds out

They have a cabin somewhere in Norway up in the mountains that was Ragnar's dad's or whatever and one winter they take him along with them and I really want to write a fic about this so bad guys you have no idea

Ragnar teaches him to drive and it's about as chaotic as you'd expect

Bjorn plays *all* the sports and tries to get Athelstan to practice with him (this is mostly an excuse for him to kick soccer balls and the like at him)

He probably has like every social media account you can have but he either never uses them (or just logs on to observe everyone else and never says anything himself) or uses it to argue with assholes

Listen you cannot tell me that if someone is being a jerk on twitter or whatever he wouldn't absolutely go after them in the calmest yet most smug fact-checking way and just obliterate them only to fade into 100% obscurity once again

Hates conflict in theory but can't resist calling out people being mean online lol

Has a lot of house plants

Bakes the best breads and cookies ever I swear

Awkward about having people over but loves to make food for his friends and generally just take care of them

Photographs literally everything. Phone storage: full after like a month. Gets a digital camera. Fills up storage on that too.

Has an energy that just inexplicably draws others towards him. Any rando who comes up to him on the street he'll just have a full conversation with too, he takes everyone fully seriously even if he can't quite understand why they're talking to him

Loves museums. Will sit quietly and look at Art and do nothing else for hours at a time.

Probably plays D&D

(as a monk, of course. Or maybe a cleric.)

[strangertheories]

If you're seeing this on a non-Nancy tag, it'll talk about what I tagged a bit later on!

I mentioned this on my TikTok (forever_ronance if you're interested), but Nancy antis using the scene with her and Steve in S2 when she's drunk and telling him she doesn't love him to insult her will never make sense to me. First of all, she can't control her actions because she's incredibly drunk. But secondly, she's a traumatized 17 year old girl whose best friend is dead but she can't openly mourn her as her family still thinks she's alive. Her dating Steve was a coping mechanism for this trauma, even if she didn't realize it.

Not enough people focus on what Nancy is saying beyond her calling her relationship with Steve bullshit. She says that they're pretending that they're ok and that they didn't kill Barb. You see, Nancy believes her having sex with Steve caused Barb's death, so she's acting like they're normal and in love because if she admits she doesn't love Steve, she admits that she "killed" Barb for nothing. When she's saying they're bullshit it's not a personal insult to Steve or that she's been using him, it's that she's traumatized and because of the alcohol and Barb's parents selling her house (plus the whole anniversary affect Owens mentioned), she's unable to repress those feelings.

She's had these emotions building up ever since S1 and I don't think she realized she even had these emotions, at least not fully. Yes it's horrible for Steve that his love is unrequited but she didn't realize she was using him and also sometimes people just do bad things because of trauma. Doesn't excuse it of course, but I don't get why people will forgive Steve for being a homophobic slut shaming bully but not Nancy for being a traumatized kid. Not to mention how Steve has always been a bit of a facade for her to try and seem different to her parents ironically by dating someone she didn't love and how we always knew she'd be actually rebelling by being with someone she loved like Johnathan. (This is especially cool to me with a sapphic lense through Ronance too as her rebelling from her parents would be her being true to herself with added queer angst but that's another post).

It frustrates me because people in this fandom will bang on about how trauantized everyone must be and how the show isn't exploring it enough (which is true in some cases) but then when a character acts out as a result of trauma, they then hold no forgiveness for their character. Like sure, act traumatized but only in a specific neat way that doesn't impact anyone else. I'm not talking about Billy here by the way, he was a racist abuser, I'm talking about people doing mildly bad or annoying things because of their past.

I think Mike and Will are big examples of this. A lot of people hate on Mike, but you've got to remember he's a teenager who's dealt with so much trauma who doesn't know quite how to process his emotions. He always takes accountability after the incidents too. But people act like he's an irredeemable who should be sentenced to medieval execution (exaggeration). This is ignoring the whole internalised homophobia stuff with him by the way since that is not canon currently. Or when people call Will an annoying crybaby who never does anything for the plot when firstly, he is the plot, and secondly, no shit a kid frequently mentioned to be sensitive with an abusive homophobic dad who was kidnapped and possessed when he was barely a teen will cry a lot.

People will extend so much grace to the characters if they're like Steve (because they think they're attractive) but then have zero sympathy for children trying to cope with huge amounts of trauma. Not to mention how people are more willing to extend sympathy to white male characters, but that's for another post.

[pies-writes-and-more]

karasuno boys as things my bf (and past dudes) have done irl

characters: Azumane Asahi, Nishinoya Yū, Sawamura Daichi, Kageyama Tobio, Tanaka Ryūnosuke, Hinata Shōyō, Sugawara Kōshi, Ennoshita Chikara, Tsukishima Kei, & Yamaguchi Tadashi, all with a Fem!Reader

warnings: these were real events. not exaggerated. real things that happened to me lol they’re all mostly fluffy or just funny so no bad vibes here haha

a/n: i got this idea out of nowhere tonight and ive been feeling bad vibes so here’s me trying to make myself happy lol. very self indulgent im sorry haha but i hope you guys find it entertaining! also i’m sorry for not including Kinoshita or Narita - I really dont know much about them!! 

haikyuu masterlist

Asahi writes a goddamn essay about you for his english class. He wasn’t quite sure why he did but the prof asked him to write about how he used writing or poetry in his every day life and he thought about all the little notes he would write to you 

Noya will happily order food with you at any time. Especially when you’re hangry or just whining about how hungry you are. Did you say you wanted food and it’s 11PM? Well that convenience store is open so I guess we’re ordering. They don’t do orders? Okay well we’re walking now.

Daichi gets matching jean jackets with you. You got it first and found it in the mens section of a store but you loved it so much, you asked Daichi if he wanted one too. The look in your eyes was just too much so of course he had to say yes. Now Mom and Dad of the Karasuno Volleyball Team walks around in their jean jackets with all their kiddos in their team jackets.

Kageyama fell asleep while waiting for you to come home. You knew this was going to happen so you had begged him to give you the key to his apartment but nO the boy just insisted that he could totally stay up. He literally was texting you 5 minutes before you got there. And by the time you got to his door, he was passed the fuck out. You panicked for a solid 20 minutes outside of his door, calling him over and over again in hopes that it would wake him up, before he woke up and awkwardly answered the door. You were really upset about it but Kageyama tried to make it up to you for the rest of the week until you finally forgave him lol

Tanaka thinks you’re the prettiest person in the world. But you literally cannot ask him to take pictures of you because he takes horrible pictures. You’ve been trying to teach him about angles and how it’s not always about how many times you press the picture button. That he actually has to think before he takes the photo, not just take as many as he can.

Hinata wants to slow dance with you so badly but you are so incredibly awkward because slow dances seem like the perfect time for you to fall on your feet. But there’s a slow song playing and Hinata begs you to come dance with him and there’s just a moment where it actually was pretty nice. And then you remembered how nervous you were and thankfully the song ended but he liked it anyways and begs you to dance with him more often.

Sugawara cooks for you nonstop because you are a college student now and incapable of cooking for yourself. He tries all sorts of new recipes for you and you love him for always trying to make you food. He’s even brought you some in a tupperware when you were on campus studying and forgot to bring food. He had to go away for a bit once and wasn’t able to make you food so he bought you a rice cooker so at least you could make yourself something other than ramen and frozen pizzas.

Ennoshita is the only person in the world who can pick good makeup colours for you. You once tried to pick out a nice lipgloss colour for yourself and absolutely hated the look of it. But he always gets it right. And then makes fun of you a little for not being able to do it yourself lol

You’ve bullied Tsukishima into doing a skincare routine. Before you met him, he was using body wash as a means to clean his face. Then you smacked that attitude out of him because no way was your partner going to look like a wrinkled grape by the time he was 40. No way. This man needs moisturizer. Now he uses cleanser, toner, an eye cream, and moisturizer and when you tell your friends about it and they’re all so shocked by it, and praise him endlessly, he just stands there with his nose in the air like I’m better than you to all the other boyfriends. He enjoys when you tell your friends and their boyfriends that Tsukishima does something and the girl goes “See? How come you can’t be like him?” to their own boyfriend. Smug bitch lol

Yamaguchi came over in the middle of the night once because you found a spider and everyone else in the house was asleep. He had literally been sleeping but you called him because this spider was HUGE and you needed it to die immediately. Yamaguchi doesn’t really like spiders but honestly, you were so scared, he knew he had to help. Man dragged himself out of bed to come save you from this spider, gave you a kiss goodnight, and then walked himself back home and passed the fuck out

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[moonlightdancer26]

Young me: Oh, Snape was totally good.

Slightly older: OH, oh, he was always an ass and an evil incel creep

Even older: It was reasonable for Snape to end up attached to a hate group because he was an abused child and had literally no other support systems in his life or even areas where he wasn’t ostracized, attacked, shunned, and bullied. This is how cults and hate groups draw in the marginalized and traumatized all the time. Doesn’t make it okay for him to attack ppl, but what with his horrible home life and zero good experiences with Muggles (especially his dad) it makes sense he was fooled and drawn into the hateful ideology as a child. He’s still a dick for it and bullying his students but gets a way worse rap than deserved.

Also, he did leave Lily alone when she said until she died, so still being in love doesn’t make him an incel. Spying on her before he befriended her was over the line, though, but he was an unsocial abused kid, and stopped when he got older, so it wasn’t as awful as ppl dramatically make out.

Even older: Also Lily was kind of an asshole for smiling even for a second at his torment by James. How can anyone find such cruelty funny? Or anything cruel to be funny? Of course, bullies and abusers always tend to want to frame their casual abuse as a joke....

Or for leaving him to continue to be tortured after he calls her a slur because his only other friends are a hate group. And because she’s just spent several minutes yelling at his bully and then ignored him on the ground to keep yelling, when she could be handing out detentions, as a prefect. I get why he lashed out at her. Not that Snape was right, but just leaving him to James?? That’s horrifying.

She really doesn’t seem that good a person. Especially when she marries James, who as it turns out did not change for the better in the slightest, but why would you ever pick and trust a person who was ever that much of a privileged abusive monster anyway? I don’t think Petunia was the only cruel one in the family.

I honestly hate how people say “Harry and many other people in the series went through a lot and they all turned out good”, like, not everyone deals with trauma the same way and, there’s a difference between Harry and Severus, Severus wasn’t a Gryffindor. Severus wasn’t famous. Severus wasn’t surrounded by good influences. Severus was groomed by future death eaters and was sorted into Slytherin. The Weasleys welcomed Harry and made him feel like he was part of the family. Harry had the support of everyone. Severus wasn’t favored by the headmaster. Severus popular. Severus wasn’t a Quidditch player. Sevy was a penniless, unpopular Halfblood Slytherin. Harry had support systems but Severus didn’t. That’s the difference between them.

Lily was a bitch for smiling at him. I would NEVER smile at my best friends being tortured and sexually harassed. Hell, even if it was my worst enemy I wouldn’t find it funny in the slightest. Yes, Severus called her a Mudblood but she was a prefect and left a student all alone acting as if she didn’t want to be avenged. Even BEFORE he called her a Mudblood she was just standing there awkwardly and not doing anything, if that were me I would’ve reported them and handed out detentions and beat them up. And she was there talking to James the entire time and she didn’t let Severus down and ask him if he was okay. J.K. Rowling said that she was flirting with James in the scene (I don’t really consider it FLIRTING flirting, but what Lily was doing was extremely disgusting), it was like she was looking for an excuse to talk to James. She left him to be tortured and traumatized for life. She was a horrible friend to Severus, he deserved way better than her. She could’ve done so much better than James. I’m not saying that she had to end up with Severus, but like, GURL... HAVE SOME STANDARDS. He literally blackmailed you, harassed you, threatened you with VIOLENCE, and bullied your best friend relentlessly for years... and you MARRY HIM?? Seriously, what the hell is wrong with her, I really can’t wrap my head around her and James’ romance, they are just so toxic. Petunia and Lily sure have a thing for bullies. 🙄

[silently-begging]

okay so since y’all liked the Sal headcanons

I’ll give you some more lmao

• so. family is EXTREMELY important to him.

• family means the world to him and he will vehemently and aggressively defend anyone he considers family, whether by blood, by adoption, or found family.

• does not like it when people assume Larry is his partner; Larry is a brother to him, during his teen years and his adult years, and he doesn’t like the idea that people think they’re dating. it flatters him because they get along so well, but he doesn’t like it. it makes him immensely uncomfortable.

• that said, he laughs it off and politely says no because he isn’t about to start fights. just like ��haha ew no that’s my brother but thanks?”

• too much of a pacifist for that.

• on that note, he feels so guilty for what went down at Addison Apartments. his time in prison is spent feeling horrible about what he did, questioning whether or not what happened really happened, essentially just him being a miserable lump.

• ESPECIALLY about Soda.

• the kid trusted him, and he killed her; he hates that about himself and, of everyone he had to kill, he hates that he had to kill her the most. he hates that the cult would take down an innocent child like that, force him to kill a child.

• some nights he has such horrible nightmares about it that he wakes up screaming and shouting, wailing over the loss of his family and friends until someone tells him to quiet down.

• if he somehow makes it out of prison, he sometimes wishes he hadn’t. even if he questions the necessity of the murders, he will always agree that he’s a killer, and that he doesn’t deserve to be here.

• HUG THIS MAN. PLEASE.

• on a less depressing note, he also considers Gizmo a family member, like a furry little son. sometimes he gets into conversations with Gizmo where Gizmo meows at him, then he meows back for a while until Gizmo turns over, leaves the room (which he rarely does), or Sal gets called away.

• HE FUCKING L O V E S THIS CAT.

• Gizmo was probably a stray cat his dad brought in.

• well.

• more like Gizmo somehow snuck into the house, his dad at him, and then Gizmo just never left, so his dad gave Gizmo to Sal as a recovery gift. not that Sal’s complaining, obviously.

• on a slightly spicier note, he’s all about taking care of other people, whether it means he helps with dishes/laundry or with scratching an itch, he’s happy to do it. he loves seeing his partner happy and if he manages to find one, he will do anything for them. he has his limits and he’ll make them known, but for the most part, he’s happy to help with whatever.

• if his partner has a kid?

• DAD MODE ACTIVATE. HOLY HELL.

• he’s always wanted at least one kid and absolutely adores his partner’s kid. he will let them have their boundaries, he won’t be a helicopter parent, but he won’t hesitate to call the kid adorable or precious.

• they WILL be loved.

• they will also learn how to deal with bullies from the best, and he won’t hesitate to tell them how. if they get called names he’ll suggest that they use the name themselves so it can’t be used as a weapon, or how to be snappy back so they won’t be so affected.

• he WILL fight for this child, no matter how old they are.

• he would like to have a kid of his own but he will be very hesitant about asking. he’s fine if his partner doesn’t want kids, he’d like to, but it’s not a dealbreaker. if they’re happy, then so is he.

• if his partner is shy, he tries his best to help them feel better about themselves, break out of their shell. he has some magical ability to befriend, so he’s absolutely gonna use it to their advantage and get them to not put themselves down so hard.

• he also has this magical ability to get along with all sorts of in-laws, man. it’s just in his nature, even if he doesn’t particularly like them.

• he still has pictures of his parents with him, too, no matter what. he loves one specific picture of him and his dad.

• his dad made himself a replica of Sal’s prosthetic for Halloween to make him feel better about it. they didn’t go trick-or-treating that year, but the thought counted. it still makes him smile even if it’s bittersweet thanks to the cult.

if anyone wants any more headcanons, feel free to send in any asks! I’m still partial to keeping it an OC blog but since people like the headcanons about Sal, I might as well do both lol.

[goddesswritings]

Sins of Lovers - Colby Brock | Part One

Title: Sins of Lovers – Part One

Pairing: Colby Brock x Reader

Summary: Y/n has had a crush on Colby since middle school and now it’s ten years later when he comes back into her life. He’s back in the most unexpected way and the most unexpected of things happens between the two of them.

Word Count: 4.8 k

Warnings: Cheating parents, divorce, bullying, horrible parenting, moody Colby. 

This is an old fic that I think fits Colby. Enjoy.

MASTERLIST

********

Colby Brock. A guy that had been your crush since eighth grade, when he’d moved to town. There was something about him that called you back to him time and time again. He was a kind soul with a passion for life. He was someone you felt you could get along with.

But his whole attitude changed when the two of you started high school. He quickly became cold and rude. Quickly climbing the social ladder to join ranks with the most popular students in the school. These were the same people who bullied you and your friends.

It should have ended your crush on him, but it didn’t. The crush only seemed to grow as you watched him from afar. You would catch glimpses of the old him from time to time, which gave you hope that he was still in there.

Sophomore year, his attitude worsened, and he grew meaner to the people around him. News got around that his parents had divorced because his dad had been having an affair behind his mother’s back. It was also known she left town and now he was stuck with his father. He began to join in on the bullying, proving his new standing in school. During this time, you still watched him and searched for glimpses of the old Colby. They were becoming far and few.

Junior year, he started dating Paige Marcus, the IT girl of the school. All the boys wanted her and most of the girls wanted to be her. She was your personal tormentor and she had been for years. She’d taken a dislike to you in fourth grade, when you got the lead in the class play that year. That girl hated you more than anyone thought was possible.

It was a real heartbreak the first time you’d seen Colby and Paige walking hand in hand down the hallway. Your smile had faded, and you wanted to just cry. All over a boy who had never taken a notice to you. Especially because you were just some nerdy girl and he was now popular.

One day, you had been late to school, so you had to rush to get to class. As you ran through the hallway to get to class in time. You ran into Colby, literally. You collided hard with his built form, falling onto your ass.

Colby just simply looked down at you and laughed. “You should watch where you’re going, nerd.” He growled when anger flashed through his eyes.

Paige was hanging on his arm and glaring at you, as per usual. “Yeah loser, you really should watch where you’re going. My boyfriend didn’t need to be inconvenienced by you.” What was she? Colby’s parrot?

Paige laughed and kicked my books across the hallway. Colby laughed along with her, and pain flashed through my chest. “There better not be a next time.” He grumbled before stepping over you and walking away with Paige beside him.

Tears welled up in your eyes, misting up your glasses. You had been so embarrassed that day. You’d hoped it would end your crush on him, but it didn’t.

Senior year, Paige set out to personally destroy you at every chance she got. Colby was by her side each time, laughing along with her. That year was absolute hell for you. There was no escape from Paige’s wrath.

The worst day nearly broke you.

It was the middle of January and it had just snowed, making the town a frosty wasteland. There was a fire drill shortly after third period began and everyone was ushered out to the cold.

You stood with your class minding your own business when Paige approached you, dragging you from the other students. You’d struggled against her, not knowing why she had pulled you away.

“What do you want?” You asked while her nails dug into your arm.

“Just teaching you a lesson.” She said as you stopped next to a huge frozen snow bank.

“Why do you have to do this to me, Paige?” You questioned when she stole your glasses from your face. “No, give those back.” You attempted to reach for them, but the blurriness had taken over. As you were about to grab them, she threw them to her friend, Cassie. So you moved to get them from her, but she was keeping you from being able to retrieve them.

“Give me my glasses!” Your voice was loud because you were angry the snickering bitches had stolen them from you.

Suddenly, Cassie dropped them to the ground and stepped on them. A crunch could be heard as she ruined your chance for clear vision.

“Oops, my bad.” Cassie spoke while she continued to wreck your glasses.

“Stop! Why are you doing this?” Tears had begun to gather in your already blurry eyes.

“Oh look, we have a cry baby on our hands.” Paige taunted before pushing you towards the ground.

Your left hand went out to catch you, making contact with the frozen ground before your body weight came crashing down onto it. A sharp pain shot through your wrist, making you cry out as the pain hit. Paige and Cassie were just cracking up the whole time.

The world was blurry around you as you lifted your hand from the ground. Pain radiated through your arm, starting from your wrist.

“What are you guys doing?” A familiar voice cut through the two girls’ laughter. It was Colby and you were afraid he was here to join in on the torture.

“Oh baby, we were just teaching Y/n a lesson.” Paige answered in a supposedly sweet voice, but anyone could hear the venom hidden in her words.

“By breaking her glasses and hurting her?” He suddenly sounded mad.

“It’s just a joke.” Paige tried to sound like it wasn’t as big problem.

“Hurting people isn’t a joke, Paige!” He was yelling now. Then he was beside you, bending down to your level. “Are you okay, Y/n?” You couldn’t really see him all that clearly, but you could tell he was looking at the wrist you were clutching to your chest.

“No, it hurts a lot.” You whimpered as the pain continued to shoot through your arm.

“Okay, let’s get you to the nurse.” He was gentle as he helped you up from the ground.

“Why are you helping her?” Paige was now frustrated.

“She needs help.” He stated as he bent down to pick up your broken glasses from the ground.

“She’s not one of us, Colby, just leave her alone.”

“No, get out of the way.” He pushed by her and Cassie while leading you towards the school. The fire drill was over at this point.

It was quiet between the two of you as he led you through the hallway full of students who were headed back to class.

“Thank you for helping me.” You said to Colby, in a soft voice.

“Don’t mention it. Paige is a bitch a she needs to be put in her place.” He spoke as you walked into the nurses office. Once again, you had seen a glimpse of the old Colby which only proved to you that he was still in there.

You ended up having to go to the hospital, much to your mothers dismay. It was a serious inconvenience for her to leave work to take you to the hospital. She practically yelled the whole drive there. Your broken glasses were another yelling point for her. At the hospital, it was determined your wrist had been broken, which only angered her further. Not that any of it had been your fault, but she claimed you’d been the one to evoke the girls in the first place. Your mother and you weren’t particularly close.

After that incident, Paige and Colby had called it quits and Paige blamed you, of course. The rest of your senior year was pure hell for you, thanks to Paige and her friends.

You were more than happy to get away from there, luckily. You had received a scholarship to a college three hours away and your father’s house was twenty minutes from it, so you stayed with him. College was lonely for you, though. Because you weren’t all that great at making new friends and your father was always away for work, or on vacation with his new wife. A wife who didn’t like you much either.

Throughout it all, your crush on Colby never once faded. You didn’t know if it ever would.

****

10 years from the time you first began to like Colby, you were returning back to your mother’s house. You’d graduated from college and found a job close to her place, and thankfully she was letting you come back. You promised yourself you wouldn’t be there long before you found a place for yourself. You couldn’t help but to feel nervous about being back at her home. It would bring back memories of high school and Colby, but you highly doubted that he still lived in town.

You pulled into your mother’s driveway, staring at the sage green house in front of you. You’d grown up in this house. Your father had once lived in this house with you. The house held so many memories for you. Good and bad.

Sighing, you finally got out of the car and grabbed your bags from the back. You slowly made your way to the front door and let yourself into the house. Immediately, the aroma of cooking food filled your nostrils. Odd. Your mother hated to cook. You put your bags by the stairs and went to the kitchen. You found your mother standing in front of the stove wearing a blue dress. She never wore dresses.

“Hi mom.” You said getting her attention.

She turned around with a huge smile. “Hello honey. How was the drive back?” She had abandoned the stove to pull you into a hug.

“The drive was fine. What are you dressed up for?”

“Oh honey, I’m so excited. I’ve been seeing this man for a few months now and I’ve invited him and his son to dinner to welcome you home.”

This surprised you. Your mother had never successfully dated since your father left her.

“Yes okay, wow. Congrats mom. I look forward to meeting them.” You honestly were.

“I think you will like him, and his son is about your age and just a sweet young man.”

“Well I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you baby. You should go get settled in. They will be here in about an hour.” She then sent you off towards the stairs. The person you were just talking to was definitely not the person she was before you left for college. You purposely didn’t come home to visit all that often because you were afraid of who you would come home to.

After a quick shower, you sat at your counter to do your makeup. You were happy that you no longer had to wear glasses, because two years ago, your dad had gifted you laser surgery as a sorry for never being around. He still wasn’t around after that though, but you learned to expect that from him. After he left, you weren’t really much of a thought in his head.

You decided on a nice purple dress of yours and a pair of flat black booties for your feet and left your room. When you were halfway down the stairs, the doorbell went off.

“Y/n, could you get that?” Your mother asked from the kitchen.

“Yes.” You said, stopping in front of the door.

You flung open the door, instantly panicking as you saw who was on the other side. Colby Brock beside an older man, that must be his father. Your mom was dating his dad.

“Hello, come on in.” You moved out of the way so they could enter the house. Colby’s eyes were glued to you, which sent chills through your body. Oh god, tonight was going to be hell.

Your mother exited the kitchen and pulled Colby’s dad into a kiss. You grimaced and turned away from the scene. “Y/n sweetie, I want you to meet John Brock and his son Colby.” She introduced the men to you.

“I went to high school with Colby.” Colby was way hotter than you remember him being. He was sexy, tall, and muscular. He had this really sexy dyed blue hair upon his head. The man was perfect.

“Oh really? Do you remember her being so clumsy in high school? Her senior year, she broke both her glasses and wrist all in one day.” Your mother’s words made you blush in pure embarrassment.

“If I remember correctly, Y/n had her glasses stolen before she was pushed into a snowbank. So it wasn’t her fault.” Colby defended you, shocking you.

“Oh, looks like you had a friend in high school, Y/n.” You face grew red now.

“I think dinner is done. I’m going to go set the table.” You quickly dismissed yourself and ran off to the kitchen to grab the plates and silverware. You desperately hoped your mom wasn’t going to keep embarrassing you throughout dinner.

You were setting up the plates when your mother entered the room, followed by Colby and his father. You idly wondered if Colby had a girlfriend.  He had to have a girlfriend with how sexy he was.

“Thank you, Y/n. Can you grab the food for us?” She questioned while already being seated next to John.

“I’ll help you.” Colby said while following you into the kitchen. “How are you doing, Y/n?” He questioned.

You pulled the food from the oven and set it on the stove. “I’m alright. Not too thrilled to be back at my moms, but it’s okay.”

“I know what you mean. Living with my dad is hard. But I haven’t seen him much since he’s been seeing your mom.”

You began to put the other food into bowls for the two of you to carry. “How long have they been dating?” Your mother never said a length of time, only that she was dating someone.

“I’m not too sure, but I know it’s been over six months.”

“She kept it a secret from me.” You concluded. To be honest, it hurt that she kept something that big from you.

“My dad is the same, but he’s been that way all my life. I found out about his affair from someone at school. So that should tell you everything you need to know.”

That was rough. “I’m sorry, Colby.”

He just shrugged. “I’m over it now.” But you didn’t know if he was, but you weren’t going to push him.

The both of you carried the food into the dining room, where your mom and his dad were deep in conversation. The two of them looked up when you entered the room. You placed the food onto the table and took your seats, which happened to be right next to each other. Your mom and his dad were on one side and you and Colby were on the other.

You were still in shock that your crush was right here in front of you. You were double shocked that your mom was dating his dad. How in the world did that happen?

“It’s good to have you home, Y/n.” Your mom said as you started to plate the food.

“Thanks mom. It’s good to be home.” You didn’t know how truthful she was being though because the two of you haven’t gotten along for all of your life. She’s blamed you for your dad leaving and treated you like crap for it.

Dinner went on like that, with idle conversation and moments of silence. Truth be told, it was awkward as hell. You kept stealing glances at Colby, to find him pushing his food around before he would glance your way as well. You would always look away while a light blush appeared on your face.

“Alright kids, now that we have finished dinner, we wanted to talk to you about something.” John said once all the plates had been cleared.

“Sure.” Colby said, while you just nodded.

“We wanted to take a family vacation, so we can get to know each other’s family. So we booked a vacation to Boca Raton for a week.” Your mom said catching the two of you off guard.

“Oh, okay. But you know I have a job to start, right?” You stated.

“Yes sweetie, I know your job doesn’t start until next month and we leave in two days.”

“Great.” Colby’s voice was void of emotions. Like you, he wasn’t thrilled about your parents attempts to mesh the families together.

“You don’t sound too thrilled about this, Colby.” John noticed.

“I’m not. I’m being forced to get to know your new girlfriend and her daughter when I would rather not be involved. It’s not going to go anywhere, just liked the rest of them. You will probably cheat again.”

His words were harsh, but you could definitely see where he was coming from. But you couldn’t help but feel he had a dislike for you simply because your mom was dating his dad.

“That’s where you are wrong. I love Susanne and we are going to make this work whether you like it or not.” John was defensive against his moody son.

“Whatever you say. Are we finished here? I have somewhere to be.” He pushed his chair from the table and got up.

“I’m sorry, Sue, I don’t know where he got the attitude from. I promise he will be better on the trip.” You just rolled my eyes and stood up and started gathering the empty plates. Your mother followed John and Colby out while you started to clean up.

You were washing the dishes, when your mother entered the kitchen behind you.

“So Y/n, did you like John?” She questioned while you glanced over at her.

“I don’t know him enough to know whether I do or not.” You said truthfully.

“Well you should like him. He makes me happy and I’m in love with him.”

A sick feeling formed in your stomach.

“How long have you two been dating?” You needed to know how long she kept it a secret from you.

“Ten months.”

“You kept it a secret from me for 10 months!” You raised your voice as the anger took over. You put the sponge down and turned to face her.

“Yes, we didn’t talk much, and I didn’t think it was that big of a thing to keep from you. Besides, you were busy with college and whatever else you were doing at your fathers, I didn’t want to bother you.”

Her excuse was pure bullshit to you. “Save the shitty excuse and admit you didn’t think about telling me.” You growled turning away from her.

“What? No honey, why would you think that. You’re my daughter and you mean a lot to me.”

Once again you faced her, “I mean a lot to you? That’s a fucking lie. You blamed me all my life for my father leaving you, but you didn’t stop to think about that fact that he left me too. You made my life hell because you weren’t happy with yours. What kind of mother does that?”

She just laughed it off. “You’re overexaggerating it. Now finish the dishes, I’m going to relax.” Before you could say another word, she was out the door.

****

Two days later, you were sitting in an airport, with Colby beside you and both your parents in some seats across from you. Both of you were equally unhappy to be here, while both parents acted like lovebirds. It was honestly gross to watch.

“Holy fuck, do they ever stop.” You groaned, taking your eyes away from them.

“Nope, they are constantly all over each other.” Colby stated looking down at his phone. “You seem angry.” He noticed.

“I am.” You grumbled, thinking about the conversation you had with your mother the other day. Like always, she managed to make you feel like shit instead of acknowledging her wrong doings.

“What did she do?” His focus was now strictly on you.

“She didn’t think telling me about her new boyfriend was important. She practically admitted to forgetting I existed once I was out of the house. Growing up with her as my mother was hell and she has never once apologized for the shit she did to me. For years, she blamed me for her and my fathers divorce. I was 4 when they divorced.” You said making sure your voice was low, so she wouldn’t hear it.

Colby was silent for a little while. “That’s horrible. What kind of mother blames their child for a divorce?”

“Mine apparently. Now she wants to suddenly act like it didn’t happen.”

“Well I think that’s bullshit. I can see right through them, you know. They are just using each other for company. My father has never been able to be faithful, every woman he has dated were all just an excuse to have some fun. He also resents my mom for moving on from him and marrying someone whose better to her.”

“That’s fucked.”

“You’re telling me. My father is immune to commitment.”

“We have some fucked up parents.” He nodded and sent a glare to both your parents who were giggling to themselves.

The flight was called shortly after that, so the two of you followed your parents onto the plane. Colby and you were going to be sitting next to complete strangers, while your parents snuggled up together. It was not fun. Your flight was annoying, because the middle-aged man beside you kept checking you out and trying to talk to you, despite you politely telling him you weren’t interested in conversing. It was complete hell.

Arriving in Boca Raton was a godsend because you couldn’t stand being next to this guy anymore. The last half hour of the flight, he spent it trying to guess your name and persuade your number out of you. You were seconds away from punching him, but luckily the plane landed, and you were able to get out of there quickly. Colby sent you a look as you exited the plane, you just grumbled under your breath.

“Well that flight was wonderful, wasn’t it kids?” Your mother asked as John waited for the luggage to come around.

“Fuck no. That was the worst flight I have ever taken.” You said, holding your anger back.

“Oh sweetie, lighten up. We’re on vacation.” Her words sparked even more anger.

“The old guy next to me kept hitting on me and wouldn’t shut the fuck up the whole flight.”

“Watch your language.” Was all she said before she strolled up to stand beside John.

Colby just chuckled from beside you. You sent him a glare and walked away from the group. You didn’t want to be here with them. You didn’t want to spend a whole week with your mom and her boyfriend that you knew nothing about. You didn’t want to spend the whole week pining over Colby when you knew he would never like you the way you liked him. He and you were still in completely different circles and he liked his women blonde and gorgeous. You were anything but that. Okay maybe you’re pretty, but you still thought of yourself as the nerd from high school and you didn’t doubt he did as well.

John and your mother ushered all of you to a rental car, and you were off to the hotel. Colby and you were in the back, silently sitting beside each other. He was on his phone, probably talking to a girlfriend or something.

“Oh, I almost forgot. John upgraded his and I’s room to a suite, but you and Colby will be sharing a regular room.” Your mother said with a huge smile on her face.

“That’s great.” Colby grumbled from beside you, voicing your thoughts out loud.

“Don’t sound so sad. It will be good for you to get to know each other.” John stated sternly, showing authority over Colby.

“Sure, whatever.” Colby said under his breath. you hid your smirk from his words. He nudged your side when he saw that.

You were nervous as hell now. You would be sharing a room with Colby. The man you’ve had a crush on for nearly 10 years. This was going to be one hell of an experience; you were sure of it.

The car pulled up to the hotel, which was this huge building that looked like it had been here for a while. It was beautiful and right on the beach as well. It was surely a resort and perhaps it wouldn’t be a horrible place to stay. But your nerves were still on edge about this whole vacation. Your moms attachment to Colby’s dad scared you.

Colby and you were given the keycards to the room before your parents left both of you alone to fend for yourselves. Honestly, their behavior was disgusting to you.

“Let’s get to our room I guess.” Colby grumbled, picking up his suitcase and heading towards the elevators in the opposite direction of where our parents had gone. You quickly grabbed yours and followed after him.

The two of you stepped into a gold-plated elevator and he hit the eighth floor, where your room was located. You felt like he was resenting you, because he would have to spend the whole week with you.

“I’m sorry that you have to stay with me.” You mumbled as the elevator moved up floor by floor.

The angry scowl left his face as he glanced towards you. “No, I don’t mind staying with you. I’m mad at our parents for just springing all of this onto us last minute.”

You let out a sigh of relief when he said this. You really thought he hated you or something.

“Oh, I thought you hated me.” You admitted while looking towards the carpeted floor of the elevator.

“I don’t hate you, Y/n. I haven’t ever really hated you, even when I was dating Paige.” His words surprised you.

“Really? Then why was I treated like crap when you dated her?” There was no way he didn’t hate you then.

“Because Paige was always a huge bitch and blackmailed me into treating you that way.”

“Oh, well it’s okay then.”

He shook his head. “It’s not okay at all really. I should have never done some of the things I have done. But I was horrible in high school after my parents’ divorce.”

“Well it’s good to know you didn’t and don’t hate me. Also, don’t blame yourself for the way you acted as a result of the divorce. It was traumatic to you and you only did what helped you feel better.”

“I guess so. I wish I could take so much back.”

“That’s impossible, but you can continue to be a better person from now into the future.” It wasn’t good that he was beating himself up over the past.

He sent you a kind smile. “You’re right. Thank you for that, Y/n.”

You sent him a smile as well. “No problem. Now, should we get this vacation started?” You questioned as the two of you stopped in front of the door to the room.

Colby opened the door and the two of you entered the room. It was a surprisingly nice room for it being a regular room. There was two queen sized beds, covered in crème sheets and comfy looking pillows. There was a decently sized sitting area with a nice flat screen TV. The bathroom was gorgeous, with a huge, jetted tub and a beautiful walk-in shower. The best part was the private balcony we had that overlooked the beautiful blue ocean. Staying here wasn’t going to be so bad.

“This is way nicer than I expected.” He spoke your thoughts.

“Yes, I agree. But this is an upscale hotel.” You stated as you set your bags down on one of the two beds. The beds looked so comfy, you wanted to just take a nap at the moment.

“True.” He answered when his phone went off. He was silent as he checked it. “Our parents want us to meet up in the Lobby at 7 for dinner.” His voice was flat when he mentioned the parents.

“Oh great. Well, that means there’s time for a nap.” You moved your bags from the bed and pulled your shoes off. You pulled back the covers and got into the comfy bed. Your body was in bliss the minute you laid down on the bed. It was absolutely perfect. Your eyes grew heavy as soon as your head hit the pillow. The nap was much needed.

PART TWO >>

[xmalfoyweasleyx]

Years and years (part 1/2) - Draco Malfoy (smut + fluff)

Summary: A walk through the years of your relationship with Draco, all the ups and downs, all the passion and al the love in one story <3

Includes: a LOOOT of SMUT 18+!! more parts of smut! , also a LOT of fluffy stuff and a little bit of angst, dad!draco at the end.

THIS STORY WILL HAVE 2 PARTS!

Warnings for THIS PART: Umbridge her quill , sad Draco, the war and its injuries, alcohol, let's pretend they are already old enough for everything!!!!, masturbation, very dirty thoughts, fingering and oral (fem receiving)

3,2k words

September 1991

Y/n was nervous. It was her first year going to Hogwarts. The excitement tickling inside of her tummy was pleasant and horrible at the same time.

The castle was right in front of her, it was astonishing. Lots of other kids around her age were walking to the boats. A hard beat on y/n's shoulder made her almost fall into the ground.

"Get out of my way" she heard a little blond boy say. His hair was blonde and ashy and his eyes were like ice. Y/n already hated him. "Prick" was the only thing she answered when she quickly walked away. It made an anger boil inside the little bully. Draco already hated her too. Nobody walks in his way on the first day of school, the day he looked forward to for already 11 years. AND how dare she? Talking to him like that?

March 1995

Draco was bored. He was sitting next to the window, the only amusing thing was the view outside. It was snowing in march. Not that common for this time of the year. He messed a little with the badge on his robe, the badge Umbridge gave him. He was proud of himself. No actually he wasn't, he was just delighted with the fact that his father was going to be proud. A big plus was the fact that those stupid other houses were finally put in their place.

Y/n came out of Umbridge her office. Relieved. Finally, her tears could come out. She was holding them in for so long now. The burning sensation on her arm wasn't the only reason. Umbridge hated her. She abused her mentally and physically.

Tears rolled down her cheeks like a river, finally coming out after so long. And like it couldn't get any worse Draco Malfoy was right in front of her, and he saw her. He saw her tears and he heard her sobs.

"Don't you dare laugh at me, not this time, please" y/n begged, not even embarrassed about how pathetic it looked.

Y/n and Draco had a weird history. From the first day they met until now. It was an abnormal relationship. Of course y/n hated him like everyone else hates Draco Malfoy. And of course he hated her like Draco Malfoy hated everyone.

But there was this tension, an unexplainable one, the both of them never understood.

"What happened?" Draco asked by y/n her surprise.

"I- uh- I, Umbridge, she.." y/n stuttered confused while unconsciously rubbing her arm where Umbridge had harmed her.

Draco automatically looked at it and had a thoughtful look on his face. Then he saw the wound on her arm 'blood traitor'.

Without thinking he grabbed her arm, a shock of concern went through his body. He didn't know what happened to him.

"Are you okay?" he asked concerned.

Y/n was in shock, not knowing what to say. But she wasn't the only one confused because of his sudden concern, Draco was too. It was the first time he realized how vulnerable she was. He had the sudden urge to take care of her, to make sure she was okay.

It went as fast as his first time riding a broom. Out of the blue it was like his mission to make sure she was okay, to make sure she was safe. Even though he still had that primitive hate towards her.

"Sit down, I might know something" he promised.

Y/n sat down next to him, a tear still running down her cheek.

"Episkey" Draco whispered carefully with a wave of his dark colored wand. With his other hand he held her arm still. The soft and warm touch surprised her. She imagined them cold and harsh but his fingers were the opposite. Even his eyes were soft now, the cold grey was a little more warm and blue now.

The cuts in her arm healed. Not completely, you could still see a scar, but it didn't hurt any more. "Wow, thank you Draco" she whispered with a smile. For a moment Draco's eyes softened and he felt his body warm up when she said his first name. It was an unknown feeling to the Slytherin boy.

A moment of silence followed when they looked in each others eyes. But then they realized he was still holding her hand. They both let go awkwardly and the moment was over. Leaving both of them confused.

April 1995

Y/n was already getting tipsy. She poured another shot of firewhisky down her throat while laughing with Hermione. The music at the party was loud and made y/n even more dizzy.

"Mione, guess who was nice to me today, you'll never guess" I mumbled. Hermione was of course, taking this seriously. So she kept thinking and thinking, leaving y/n impatient. "Okay I'll just say it, it was Malfoy" she tells her eventually.

"The Draco Malfoy?" she mouthed confused. Y/n nodded. "He healed my arm after Umbridge's detention" y/n confirmed. Hermione's mouth hung open in response.

What y/n didn't know was that Draco was watching her from a distance, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with him. He noticed how pretty she actually was. He spent the past 5 years despising the girl. From the day she called him 'a prick' until now, until he suddenly had this weird feeling. She looked hot, y/n was sexy. She had a nice ass, Draco noticed. He was a little drunk and that always made him horny.

"Okay, y/n. Believe it or not but Draco is checking you out" Hermione told y/n. She immediately turned around and saw Draco looking straight into her eyes now.

"I'm going to say hi, I think he wants me " y/n boasted full with confidence because of the alcohol. Draco was still watching her when she strode up to him. She stopped right in front of him and looked him up and down.

"Well well Draco Malfoy, you were checking me out, weren't you? You like my new dress?" she joked drunkly.

"You're drunk" Draco laughed. It made y/n furrow her eyebrows.

"I think you're drunk because you're actually laughing!" she answered mocking him. Draco smiled and took a closer look at the girl in the party lights. He never noticed her y/e/c eyes and her pretty lips. Oh how they would look so perfect wrapped around his co-

"LET'S DANCE!!!" y/n screamed, cutting off his daydreams.

Draco did something very surprising and followed her to the dance floor. Y/n swayed her hips to the music seductively, moving very very close to Draco. Of course she did that on purpose but she didn't want Draco to know.

When y/n turned around and rubbed her ass against his clothed cock, Draco was afraid he would cum in his pants already. He was used to be dancing like this at parties with girls, but this felt different. Draco tried to convince himself this was just because he was extra horny, but deep down he knew it was because of the girl in front of him.

Without thinking Draco turned her around again. He pressed y/n close to him and before he knew it their lips were pressed against each other.

Her soft lips moved slowly against his. Y/n grabbed his neck and pulled on his hair softly while Draco pushed her hips closer.

The kiss was heated and full of passion. A soft moan escaped her lips. Draco's erection appeared in his pants. Suddenly the boy realized the effect y/n had on him.

He couldn't let this happen. He couldn't ruin the reputation he worked on for years! So he searched all his willpower and pushed her away.

"What are you doing, stupid girl!" he screamed.

Y/n was surprised and a look full of hurt appeared on her face.

-

That night Draco was still horny. The mix of emotions was unbearable.

He didn't want to, but he had to.

So he pulled his pants down slowly, a big sigh left his mouth when his erection finally came free. Draco had never been this horny, especially not after hurting someone. Because he did hurt y/n, he knew that. But eventually this was normal, she wouldn't mind that much... She's used to him being like that. At least that's what Draco thought.

So he wiped the precum from is tip and sighed. Draco started to pump very slowly, a grunt of relief left his mouth.

He tried to come up with something else in his head, he tried really really hard. But the only thing that came up was how y/n danced against him, how sexy she was. He thought about her beautiful lips and how perfect they felt on his.

He imagined how it would feel if she was in front of him, pumping him slowly, with her innocent eyes locked with his. How her eyes wouldn't be leaving his, looking so so desperate for him.

He imagined how she then would put her mouth around his cock. Draco started to pump faster and faster. Because of his drunk state it felt almost real. Her warm pretty mouth...

Draco grunted loudly now, imagining how he would slap that ass of her, how he would completely destroy the girl. A soft moan left his mouth, he was imagining her boobs now. How they would bounce right in front of him.

His stomach began to tingle more and more. He was cumming very soon. His hips started to buck op when he imagined how he would just pound into her mercilessly. It was almost like he could hear her pretty moans and screams.

And with one last pump he came. Hard. Moaning her name when his head fell backwards.

He just laid there for a moment. Panting very loudly. He never came that hard.

Fuck Draco Malfoy, what's wrong with you, he thought.

November 1996

Being in 6th year for almost 3 months now, y/n and Draco only saw each other from a distance in the great hall. The only interaction they had were little glances and a lot of staring.

Y/n was still mad. How could that stupid fucking Slytherin boy just kiss her and talk to her like that and then leave and get mad?!

It was stupid.

It was stupid how sometimes their eyes met during dinner and how it made their hearts beat like crazy.

It was stupid how they still thought about each other every day because of just one stupid kiss.

February 1996

5 months later they finally talked again. Their anger towards each other was mostly gone now. It was time to call a truce now.

Y/n decided it had been enough of all this silliness. So when she bumped into Draco she decided to finally talk to him.

"Who do we have here" she tried sounding polite and playful.

"Hey" Draco said. It was now that y/n saw how tired he looked. All these months they had non-verbal conversations from a distance, but now she really saw him and how terrible he looked, almost ill.

"Draco, are you okay?" was the first question that came up in her mind to say.

Draco just nodded. The last thing he wanted was to show her how terrible he felt. His task, becoming a death eater,...

So he just decided to nod and walk away.

"Oh and sorry about getting mad at you last year" he said from a distance when he quickly walked away.

It left y/n worried and surprised. He apologized?

June 5, 1996

It was the last month of the school year. Y/n heard sobs when she walked past the prefects bathroom. Never had sobs been so recognizable. It was Draco. She knew that immediately. So she didn't hesitate to walk inside the bathroom.

Draco and y/n had been talking last months after all. What you can call talking. It were silly little talks and her friends even judged her for doing it. But the talks didn't really represent that much. Draco felt too bad and she wanted to ask what was going on but she couldn't.

The sight broke her heart. Draco looked at her with fearful eyes.

"Draco" y/n gasped "come here" was the only thing she said. The right words didn't come up in her mind so she just stepped closer to him.

She grabbed his back and pushed him in for a hug. Draco didn't fight it but also didn't hug back. He didn't know what to do. Only his mother hugged him. But y/n started to stroke his back and her smell was so comforting.

"It's okay Dray, you're safe with me" she whispered.

Draco felt calm now. After all those months he finally felt good. So he hugged her back and started to cry again.

"Yes Draco, you can let it al go now" she promised when Draco kept crying harder en harder finally feeling free and safe to let go.

They stayed like that for a while. When Draco calmed down completely he explained her everything and y/n listened. They talked for hours. He told y/n it was his birthday and no one said happy birthday to him today. After all the serious talk they even talked about more fun stuff.

Draco was happy. He hasn't been in years.

June 31, 1996

Believe it or not, but y/n was laying in Draco's bed. Summer was there and everyone was packing to go home for the break.

Y/n has been Draco's girlfriend for a few weeks now. It was a secret. She secretly came to his dorm every night and sometimes she stayed to sleep in his arms.

Y/n got to know the other side of Draco, a part she actually loved.

Draco got to know his own new side and still tried and struggled with being in a relationship now. But he was so so so in love, he realized that now.

His heart fluttered in his chest again when y/n snuggled her nose deeper into his shoulder, trying to be closer to him than before. She laid on him with the half of her body and stroked his arm lightly.

"So we're not going to see each other this summer?" she asked.

"We'll figure it out, I promise we'll see each other" Draco smiled while stroking her hair, making y/n shiver a little.

Y/n stroked up and down his chest now. "I want to try something before we leave, I want to have sex" she suddenly said.

"What?" Draco answered a little bit shocked. Not that he didn't want it he was just surprised.

"If-if.. if you don't want to it's okay, I don't know how experienced you are and..." y/n stuttered.

Draco laughed a little at the thought. She thought he didn't want this? He wanted this for so so so long now. "I want to, but we only have 15 minutes till the train leaves. And.. are you... are.. have you ever had sex before?" he asked getting nervous now.

"No, but I want you to take my virginity, did you do it before?" she asked interested.

"I'm not a virgin. No. But, you are, I don't want you to lose your virginity when we're rushed. We'll see each other this summer and I'll make it perfect, okay?" Draco assured her.

God how he wanted to fuck her there and then, destroy his little innocent girlfriend. But not when it's rushed.

Y/n looked disappointed and she really really was. It took her a lot of courage to ask this.

So Draco had an idea.

"But, I can do something else, if you trust me" he smiled while stroking under her skirt, going closer and closer to her pussy.

"You said we have only 15 minutes" she whispered with flushed cheeks.

"I can make you cum in less than that" Draco promised. Y/n bit her lip and nodded.

He started slowly stroking her clothed pussy now, making y/n gasp a little. Y/n still laid partly on him and her hand was on his chest. Draco had a perfect view on her face and she was so close, it was the perfect position.

"Do you touch yourself?" he asked while pushing her panties down very slowly, lightly touching her pussy now.

Y/n nodded while biting her lip to hold in the moans.

"You don't have to be shy princess, you can let it all out for me, okay? Now tell me what you think when you touch yourself" Draco asked huskily while drawing little circles on her clit now.

A soft moan left y/n her lips and her cheeks were already flushed. Her pussy already wetter than ever.

"I- I think about you, how you would touch me" she moaned. Draco answered with a soft moan too, not able to hold it in. He imagined how she would be thinking of him while pleasuring herself, and moaning his name.

He entered his finger slowly. Y/n gasped. "Draco" she moaned when he started to pump into her softly.

"Good girl" he praised.

"Go faster Dray, it feels so good" y/n moans.

Draco did what she told him and started to pump faster while adding another finger. "You're so tight for me baby, I can't wait to feel you wrapped around my cock this summer when I fuck you so hard" Draco grunts.

Y/n was a moaning mess now. His name left her mouth multiple times. Something he would remember for ever.

"God you're so fucking sexy y/n" he moaned. Draco was surprised how turned on this made him.

And then Draco stopped and pulled his fingers out.

"What are you doing?" she asked when Draco left her side.

"Can I do this?" he asked when going down with his mouth now very close to her pussy.

Y/n nodded eagerly.

Draco attached his soft lips to her clit, sucking on it gently. She was already very sensitive from before so a loud moan came out.

Draco started to suck harder and moaned on her pussy, sending vibrations that went through her whole body. Y/n automatically grabbed his hair and pulled harder than she meant to.

Draco absolutely loved it. It was the hottest thing ever to him, the way she moaned and how she pulled his hair but pushed him closer at the same time.

"I- I think I'm cumming Dray" she gasped.

"Yes, my good girl, cum for me" he whispered.

A loud moan of his name filled the room and her eyes scrunched shut. Y/n panted loudly. "God I think I saw the stars" she breathed.

Draco chuckled and came back up to her pulling her close to him like before. "Told you I could do it in less than 15 minutes" he joked.

"I'm going to miss you Draco" y/n said more serious now with a big frown.

"Me too. But we'll see each other again soon, I promise. I'll be showing you more than just the stars then, princess" he promised her, his heart full of love and joy. He placed a little kiss on her head.

She made a new Draco Malfoy come alive, but what they didn't know yet, is that it will get much much more difficult in the future...

❀

Okay so part 2 will have more (and better) smut in it, like promised, if you want the be tagged in it you can just fill in my taglist

Thanks for reading loves x

new taglist: @rudypankowisdaddy

[musical-chick-13]

*Imagine the heaviest sigh you’ve ever heard*

Okay. Now that I’ve calmed my rage a little bit, let’s talk about why I hate Raúl/Sofía as a pairing. I’ll start with the things that bug me the (comparative) least and work up to the things that I hate the most, because essay structures are the only thing I willingly retained from high school English class.

Because this show is what it is, a major trigger warning for discussions of suicide in regard to mental illness, non-consensual outing of queer teenagers, ableism and other forms of prejudice, and mentions of sex crimes against minors. If you need to block this post via tumblr savior or xkit, you can block the tag I always use when I discuss this show in writing, which is:        mc13 watches ctrlz

SO. The first thing is that these two characters ending up together makes no narrative sense to me. I’ll get into characterization reasons in a bit, but from a purely interpersonal relationship standpoint, they never talk. They had maybe two sort-of conversations-that weren’t Raúl making fun of Sofía’s mental health issues or uncritically watching his friends do so-before Raúl complains that Sofía “never has time for him,” as if he’s entitled to anything from a girl, especially one he hasn’t consistently treated well up to this point. They work together on mystery stuff occasionally, but they don’t have any actual conversations about their relationship. There are no discussions of personal information or boundaries or expectations, which, especially if you are a person suffering from mental illness, is really fucking important.

From a characterization standpoint, Sofía’s primary trait is that she is a nice person. She’s ostracized by her peers, everyone makes fun of her for her mental health issues, she has very few friends other than maybe Luis, but when she’s approached for help with the hacker issue, she accepts. She helps even the students who have been nothing but horrible to her because it’s the right thing to do. She stands up for Luis time and time again, even when she has nothing to gain from the situation. She allows Isabela to lean on her for support after she’s outed, despite Isabela having been not-particularly-kind to her in the past. In season 2, she’s genuinely concerned with Dario’s and Ernesto’s safety, even though they have done nothing to atone or apologize for the way they’ve treated her. She protects her dad’s secret and doesn’t tell anyone else, not even her mom, just because she wants to keep him safe. This last one involves her keeping a promise to the point of unhealthy self-sacrifice because the stress of it leads to her making a suicide attempt and taking up self-harm. Sofía’s role in the narrative, as set up from the very beginning of the show is that she is a kind, caring girl.

Raúl leaked sensitive information about his peers, including: nude photos of Pablo having sex with Maria (which is. you know. child p*rnography), information regarding the private sex life of a boy who didn’t know he liked men (Gerry), outing Isabela-a trans girl who wasn’t ready to disclose her identity yet, revealing that Claudia had an abortion, was ready to out Luis (who was already a victim of truly horrifyingly violent bullying, primarily for being not stereotypically “masculine” enough), and telling everyone about Sofía’s dad-a secret so precious to her its seriousness was literally contributing to making her sick. And then, at the end of season 2, he’s made aware of the fact that Natalia’s life is in danger, and still only cares about his money. Dude literally doesn’t even spare a thought for this teenage girl who needs help.

Sofía has been friends with Luis for awhile. Raúl’s project (done by a guy she only spent, at most, a couple of weeks with) was one of the contributing factors in his death. So her friend’s murder means nothing to her now? Her sole focus, to the point of, need I remind you, unhealthy suicidal ideation was protecting her dad, whom she loves very much. Raúl’s exploits fucked that up, too. And still, it’s somehow not enough to stop her from being attracted to him. I...genuinely. Do not comprehend. He claims he “wanted to make things better” because “secrets are bad,” but there is NO WORLD where ANY of the things I’ve mentioned above could be seen as a positive. Sofía knows all this. At the end of season 1, she explicitly tells him “You’re going down.” Putting Sofía with Raúl goes against everything we know about her character. In order to make this ship work, her fundamental personality and values have to change.

And this brings me to my second major point of contention. This isn’t just some sort of badly-done Corruption Arc™. Sofía is a suicidally depressed, mentally ill teenager. There are very few characters in media who are written with explicit mental health issues, and even fewer who are not demonized for being “inherently violent and unstable” and/or killed off. Sofía is one of the few we actually have who gets to be mentally ill, kind, and alive. Her mental illness makes her empathetic. It’s part of her life experience and informs decisions she makes, but it’s not her whole personality. And most importantly, since she’s the protagonist and explicitly written to be a kind person with sympathetic struggles, we are supposed to want her to get better. She is not going to do that if she’s in a relationship with Raúl. He lied to her the entire time he was trying to date her. His idea of teenage courtship is taking a comment she said in the middle of a depressive episode completely out of context and turning it into a motto to ruin the lives of everyone around him, including Sofía and people who didn’t even do anything wrong like Claudia or Isa or Luis (or, hell, even Gerry, who at the time had just watched p*rn privately in his room on his private computer like lots of teenage boys do). This boy, who can’t even admit that what he did was messed up and wrong, does not know how to be in a healthy relationship. He won’t stop lying to Sofía if he thinks that’s what he needs to do to “keep” her. Sofía lost her virginity to this guy because of an elaborate con he was playing on her. And not that a girl’s (or anyone’s) virginity is The Most Important Thing Ever™ or that anyone should expect the so-called “loss” of it to be any kind of transcendental experience, but Sofía said at the party where everyone was playing the kissing game that she didn’t want to kiss someone she didn’t know. And when she did kiss Javier, she said she really didn’t have any experience. Sofía is a loner. She has very few friends and keeps to herself. Making the decision to engage in a physical relationship for the first time (or at all), for her, is a big deal. And everything that went into that decision was all based on a lie. You don’t forget something like that. Raúl calls Sofía crazy, before and after she knows he’s the hacker (which, I promise you, no mentally ill person is ever going to just...forget...about...). He tells her she’s the only thing he cares about and is continuing to exist for. And to make a teenage girl suffering from serious mental illness your emotional crutch? That is...such a bad idea and such an unfair, harmful thing to do I’m not sure I even know where to start. Neurodivergent people already get abused, gaslit, and forced into unrealistically harmful expectations on a regular basis. Sofía being with Raúl would be a nightmare in terms of her coping with her mental illness.

So, basically, a canon status for this ship can really only come at the expense of the identity and recovery of a mentally ill teenage girl. If we had more sympathetic mentally ill main characters, that would be one thing. But we don’t. If they portrayed this as an impulsive decision by Sofía that she grew to regret and use as a catalyst to get help (which...I thought was what the show was doing in season 1, but I can’t be right all the time), that would also be different. But after having them hook up again in season 2, it’s obvious that we’re not meant to view their relationship as an unhealthy coping mechanism on Sofía’s part. I could also see it as Sofía reaching out to the first available person who showed her attention because she was so lonely, but even that doesn’t work, because she has Javier (and, to an extent, Luis, and, later on, Isa and Alex-though that last one is...a little more complicated and I don’t have time to discuss it here). And far be it from me to police what people ship. I don’t believe that any fan of this particular pairing is a Giant Raging Ableist. But what I am concerned about is that this isn’t being talked about by anyone, at all.

Which brings me to the final, most frustrating part of this whole thing. IF YOU DON’T READ ANY OTHER PART OF THIS READ THE FOLLOWING. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART.

Given how purist fandom tends to be in liking “unproblematic” ships and how much people cry for positive and empowering representation...why do so many people ship Raúl/Sofía?

And the only answer I can come up with is...because Raúl is conventionally attractive. He’s a skinny, cis, light-skinned, cocky “bad boy” who rides a motorcycle and has messy hair and blue eyes. There’s no communication to point to or any kind of well-established previous relationship between him and Sofía, there’s not an equal level of self-destructiveness on both sides, there’s not a “secret Dark Side™” that Sofía’s always had that Raúl allows her to unleash (which...hoo boy, it’s bad optics to suggest that your mentally ill character is dealing with a Secret Evil Personality Buried Inside Them). Raúl doesn’t make any effort to better himself, and even sticks to his guns that he was “just trying to do the right thing :(” (and, as mentioned above, the last thing we see him do is selfishly scream over his money when a girl’s life is in immediate danger). The only thing that’s left is...that Raúl is conventionally attractive.

And, honestly, I think this is what it is. I think that’s the reason. The few times I’ve gone into the general tag (especially after season 1 dropped), it’s been almost nothing but thirst posts for Raúl. I’ve seen so many comments about how Raúl is “so complicated” and “oh, but he meant well,” but I haven’t seen any for Javier (who actually does mean well most of the time) or Natalia (who actually did become more complex as time went on) or Alex (who had a much more justice-driven goal than Raúl ever did). And I keep hearing about this supposed Amazing Chemistry his actor has with Sofía’s, which is of course, a subjective thing; but the chemistry™ defense curiously only ever seems to pop up in regard to pale cis so-called “attractive” guys. If Raúl had been plus-size or a woman or a darker-skinned man or disabled or neurodivergent or even just anything that wasn’t considered by biased society to be ““““conventionally attractive,”””” he would not be receiving the kind of love and sympathy and shipping preference that he is.

And you know how I know that? Every time, in every fandom (including this one) that even remotely-morally-ambiguous characters exist who are those things (i.e., dark-skinned POC, disabled, female, “““average-looking,””” etc.), everyone hates them. Maybe, if those characters are lucky, they’ll be ignored. But if they aren’t, then the fandom at large is picking them apart to criticize their place in the narrative, harass people who like them (which sometimes escalates to bullying the actors themselves on social media), and praying for these characters to die a slow, painful, gruesome death. They’re certainly not rooting for them as love interests. This ship is only as popular as it is because Raúl fits a predetermined standard of attractiveness.

And guess what, I’m fucking tired. The way fandom treats characters like this and ships like this tells me that the only thing that matters is how attractive you are. Everything people do and want and gravitate toward should be decided solely based on someone’s appearance. Your actions don’t matter. Your integrity doesn’t matter. Your values don’t matter. Only your level of attractiveness does. Being “““conventionally attractive””” gives you leeway to treat people like shit or be praised for doing the bare minimum. It’s seen as necessary for you to be liked, for you to be hired, for you to be successful, and for you to be seen as worthy of love. People excuse not only characters, but real-life young and attractive cis white male celebrities and musicians for heinous crimes all the time. People take appearance so seriously (especially in the entertainment industry) that being “hot” is frequently used as grounds for hiring. The whole thing is so incredibly shallow and rooted in prejudices such as ableism and transphobia and sexism and racism, and it is everywhere.

I was probably giving this show too much credit, but I thought back in season one, after the reveal that Raúl was the hacker, that the whole point was to defy the idea of “beauty” being inherently good. That sometimes the assholes or abusers or criminals or villains are conventionally attractive, and that doesn’t make what they do okay. Raúl, with his sense of entitlement and poor choice in friends and weird vibe around Sofía with trying to share headphones always seemed...off. I thought the point was that sometimes these sketchy Jerk Bad Boys™ don’t have some secret heart of gold, sometimes they’re just mean people. I (stupidly) thought the whole point was that physical attraction is not enough. That it’s a shallow thing to base a relationship on and only ends in disappointment. But season two showed that they just wanted to play all those concepts completely straight without an ounce of self-awareness. I have waited my entire life for some work. Any. Work. To have a message other than, “All that matters in getting what you want and living a happy life and receiving support from other people is being pretty.” But fandom keeps trying to shoehorn that narrative in every single time, so that’s the story we keep getting. And Control Z is no exception.

[axwalker]

CREEP 3: You're just like an angel

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC  (Lexie O’Brien) Book TRR

Synopsis: Drake is a hurt, angry teenager. After being rejected by Lexie, he spends two years bullying her until he discovers the horrible truth behind her rejection. 

MASTERLIST HERE

In this chapter: Lexie gets to know more about the boy hiding behind the monster. 

A/N: This is Lexie’s POV. We’ll be in Drake’s head in the following chapter. 

A/N 2: Thank you to my beautiful prereader @burnsoslow​

Your suggestions made all the difference! LOVE YOUU ❤️

A/N 3: Thank you to @mskaneko​ for the edit that closes this fic. It’s gorgeous! I love youu ❤️

Words: 5,108 🙈

WARNINGS: Parental abuse, domestic violence, toxic love, abuse, bullying. 

THIS IS NOT YOUR USUAL MARSHMALLOW DRAKE. He was abandoned as a boy, he’s tortured and he doesn’t know how to express love. 

This is a dark love story. If you think this might trigger you, PLEASE do not read it.  

ALL MY FICS ARE 18+

TAGS ON THE COMMENTS --As this is darker than usual; I’m only tagging the people who commented in the previous chapters. If you want to get on or off the list for this fic; please do not hesitate to ask!!

LEXIE

Watching Drake put my duffel bag on the back of his motorcycle, my pulse is getting out of control on my neck. This is happening. I’m leaving home. I’m getting out, and I’m never coming back. And Drake Walker, my tormentor, is helping me. He actually defended me. The fact that I’m being helped by the person who called me a future trophy wife this morning makes this moment even more surreal. He’s had this tormented expression on his face for the last half an hour that’s stupidly making me want to hug him or make him feel better. For what, though? I don’t know. I don’t owe him anything, and still, I have this pressing need to wrap my arms around his neck and tell him everything will be okay. 

When it comes to Drake, my emotions have never been truly logical. One second I hate him, and the next, I’m whispering his name in the darkness of my room, my fingers sawing against the wet cotton of my panties. My feelings for him are incredibly confusing…but I know asking him to back off was the right move. Even if I secretly miss his presence everywhere I turn. In my unstable world, there was something comforting about knowing he would always be there. Watching me. Hating me. Wanting me. That last part was never in doubt. He’s made that clear many times. That if I wanted, he would “give me a nice long hate-fuck in the back of his trailer.” And he’d always say, “No one has to know, baby,” in that deep, hoarse tone that keeps me up at night. Makes me shove my fingers down the front of my panties and struggle to breathe, sweating through my covers to an orgasm. I’m having those particularly sexual thoughts when he looks over at me, and I don’t quite manage to hide my lust. His movements slow, a dark eyebrow arching as he fixes on my mouth, my breasts. I’m a real hot mess right now. Beaten and bloody, but there’s no denying he’s still attracted. It’s always there in the rise and fall of his chest, the clicking of his jaw. The tenting of his jeans. How many times have I turned in class and—avoiding his gaze—locked eyes with his jeans instead? At least that’s one thing us poor fuckers have going for us. We know how to fuck.

 Well, if I thought sympathy was a strange emotion regarding this boy, jealousy is even more confusing. Why should I care that he’s been with other girls? Obviously, he must have been with hundreds of girls to get good at sex. It’s none of my business, is it? I’m almost rid of him. And I don’t want to be jealous. Still, when he holds out his hand to help me onto the bike, I ignore it with a raise of my chin and climb on myself. You’re almost rid of him, Lexie. Get a ride and say goodbye. Unfortunately, I may have been a little overenthusiastic in asking to be taken to a motel. I’ve never been to one, but I know a credit card is required—and I don’t have one of those. Nor do I have enough cash in my wallet for more than one night. I need to figure out an alternative plan fast. Still looking damned tortured, Drake places his helmet on my head and gently buckles the chinstrap. Swallowing loud enough to hear over the passing cars. Helmetless, he brings the engine to life, the vibration so exhilarating; I wrap my arms around his middle on reflex.

I can feel taking a deep breath. “Lexie…” He can’t see me, so I give in to the impulse to press my cheek to his leather jacket, absorbing the warmth and his smell, earthy and so masculine. 

“Yes?” Drake clears his throat, his voice even more profound. “My dad left me a cabin a few towns over. Near Portavira lake.” He pauses. “It’s very rustic, but I’ve been fixing it, so it’s clean, and it has a bed and some supplies. I could take you there. You’d be safe.” 

It’s dangerous to start accepting more favors from him, but what choice do I have? My father made sure that I’m helpless. He did it with my mother and now me. Isolated us from everyone who might be a friend. I’ll accept his offer, but only because here and now, I promise myself I’ll find a way to help myself in the future. To leave my father and his house of horrors in the past. Maybe it can’t be done entirely alone. Maybe accepting help is the only option. That doesn’t mean I’m forgetting the way he treated me. Yes, I’m attracted to him but I also hate him. He’s made my life miserable for two years and I won’t let him --or myself, forget that. Maybe he’s hiding right now but I know Drake--as my father, has a monster underneath. His monster might not slap me or make me bleed but that doesn’t mean he’s not dangerous. Poisonous words can hurt as much as one well-delivered blow.  

“Okay,” I say, feeling him relax. “Thanks.” I’ll accept his help for now and leave as soon as I can. 

He responds by turning on the engine of the bike again. That’s when I hear my father yelling my name from the back door of the house. His hands are tied behind his back, and he’s limping, blood coming out his nose. 

“Alexis Jade O’Brien! You get your ass back here right now, or you’ll never be allowed back! You’ll be dead to me!” 

He has to be joking; he’s been dead to me since the first time he hit me. I look back at the pathetic old man with every ounce of rebellion I have. Baring my teeth, I give him the middle finger and dismiss him. Forever. 

“Good girl,” Drake murmurs a second before driving away. I don’t look back a single time. We drive for half an hour. After twenty minutes on the highway, the trees grow denser and denser, the road deserted. We don’t pass a single car on the way to the cabin, which comforts me when I should be worried. Shouldn’t I? I can’t allow the last two years of em2otional battle to mean nothing. To melt away in the face of tonight’s act of kindness. I meant what I said. I need Drake to leave me alone. To release the hold he has on me. I’ve cut one negative force out of my life tonight. The last thing I need is a replacement. But as I grow tired against his strong back, his woody and manly scent lulling me, encouraging the trust he doesn’t deserve, I worry leaving him might be easier said than done. Especially when we arrive at the cabin, and he lifts me off the bike, cradling me to his chest like I’m made of crystal, a moment too long before settling me onto my feet. It’s hard giving up his warmth, but I push off his chest, creating distance between us. He watches me back away like I’m breaking his heart. 

“There is a shower inside,” he says quietly. “You can finally get the, uh…” He blows a breath. “…the blood off.” The sun sets as we stand there. It’s nothing like the light of the night we kissed. This time it's brighter, more intense. It must be the higher elevation. 

“You’re not hurting anywhere else?” 

“I’ll be fine.” Why is he breathing so fast? “What’s wrong, Drake?” 

“What’s wrong?” He fights through a humorless laugh, sliding his hand through his hair. “Where do I start? Most urgent is��I know you’re going to want me to leave you here alone, and I don’t think I can. Look, if you want to lock the doors, I’ll sleep outside on the ground, Lexie, but please don’t ask me to go.” 

He’s right. I was going to tell him it’s OK to go back to his trailer. There was a convenience store with a payphone a mile down the road. If there is no working phone in the cabin, I can still make calls, if necessary. I’m not sure what my next move will be, now that I’ve run away from home. But I know I’ll never be able to think with a clear head as long as Drake is around, looking at me like that. “Drake…”

 “It’s just that once I leave, I know that’s it. You’re going to shut me out again. And this time, it’ll be your choice.” He paces away, still raking his fingers through his hair. “I deserve to be cut off. Fuck, I know that. Believe me when I say I hate myself right now, but if there was something I could do to make up the last two years to you, even just a little—” 

I shake my head. Nothing can make up for the two years I spent loving him while he tortured me. There will be nothing between us. 

“I understand.” His fingers rake his hair one last time. “You can go in the cabin. I’ll sleep outside; that way, I’ll be sure your—father won’t be back.”

Despite myself and my better judgment, I worry about him. “Outside? It’s cold and dark; I can go to a motel.” At least for one night, I’ll figure out what I’ll do after tomorrow. 

“No way. Look, I won’t be able to sleep anyway. Just go inside and try to rest; I’ll be fine. I’m used to it.”

Used to what? Sleeping outside? “Isn’t there a couch or something?”

He shakes his head. “The cabin was in ruins until six months ago when I started working on it. There’s only one bed, but there’s a rug next to the fireplace. Please don’t leave. I—I need to know you’re safe.” 

I know Drake would never abuse me physically. I might be naïve, but I just know he would never do it. And as much as it’s difficult for me to understand why I feel safe with him here. Still, I have to be smart, my instincts tell me to trust him, but my instincts have been wrong about him before. 

“Does the room lock?”

“It does with a bolt that can’t be opened from outside. But you’re safe with me, Lexie. I swear.”

It’s his miserable look that makes me decide. “Okay, if it locks, I can stay here.”

We go inside, and he leads me to his room. When my bag hits the floor next to his bed, I get even more nervous. I just left everything I know behind me and have no idea what’s coming next. School will be over in a few weeks, but I can graduate earlier, thanks to my credits. I’ll need a job, save some money, get an apartment and apply for college in Cordonia. It’s overwhelming. 

I don’t want to cry in front of Drake. I don’t want to show him I feel weak, sad, and pathetic, but something inside of me suddenly breaks, and before I can’t do anything to stop it, I’m sobbing.

Drake is sitting on the bed in a second, and he’s pulling me into his lap, trying to calm me down. “Shh Lexie, it’s okay. Cry all you need to. I’m here. It’s okay,” he repeats in a litany as he rubs my shoulders, kisses my cheek, then my nose. Why do I feel so safe with him? Why, after everything he put me through, do I want to be here with him more than anywhere else? 

“Let it all out, Lex. You’re so strong, baby.” He takes a cloth handkerchief from his pocket and uses it to gently clean my tears. The piece of fabric seems so incongruous in his rough hands that I can’t help but smile a little. 

“Is this yours?”

He shrugs. “My dad collected them. After he died, my mom gave all his stuff away. This handkerchief is the only thing I have left of him. And this cabin.”

“I’m sorry, Drake. I don’t want to ruin it.”

He smiles. “Ruin it? Impossible. If anything, now it's even more special to me.” 

The softness in his eyes looks so sincere it scares the hell out of me. I can’t let myself forget who Drake really is. I stand up from his lap and put my bag on the bed. 

“I’m really tired; I’d better go to bed.” 

“Okay … can I just look at your wounds?” he asks as he inspects my face. “You have some nasty cuts,” he adds, his fist clenching. 

When I nod, he takes my hand and leads me to his bathroom. The room is as simple and modest as expected. Block walls, no tiles on the floor, no curtain on the shower, and an old toilet. A million years away from the white marble bathrooms in my house. 

He follows my gaze and blushes. “I’m sorry. This is not what you’re used to. I—uhm, I’m slowly putting it together when I have time and some money. I’m good with my hands.” I look at said hands, and there’s no doubt he’s good with them. They look big and calloused. Capable and rough but so gentle with me. I want them all around my body. As if he had listened to my silent demand, he grabs me by my waist and sits me on the counter next to the sink. My legs part on instinct, and he puts himself between them. We don’t talk for two long minutes until he opens the faucet and wets a towel. 

“I just got the water running this week; Come on.” Gently --almost reverently, he washes and cleans every cut, every injury. Softly he brushes his thumbs over my face. He doesn’t speak as he does, but there’s a tension between us. A raw feeling that has always been there. 

“Tell me about yourself,” I blurt out, desperate to break the moment. 

“There’s not much to say. Sorry, Lexie!” he exclaims when I wince. “Does this hurt?”

“A little. I. need a distraction. Why do you live alone? I know your dad is –uhm, gone, but where’s your mom?”

“Gone too.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, Drake.”

“Don’t be. She was a bitch. She died in a car accident two years ago. She was living in Texas back then.”

“I don’t get it. Two years ago, you were here in Cordonia.” 

“Yeah, she left me after my dad died. Took my sister and left me here. Reminded her too much of my dad, she said.” 

I remember Jackson Walker. Everyone in Portavira does. He was Liam’s dad's bodyguard and died protecting him. But that was five years ago. If his mom left just after his passing, that means Drake has been living by himself since he’s thirteen years old. It can’t be.

Drake turns around and opens a box in the corner of the room. When he turns back, he’s holding a Band-Aid. 

“I keep these around. Construction can get nasty sometimes. Come here, Lex.” He cups my chin with one of his big hands while he cleans a cut next to my eyebrow. His touch is leaving goosebumps all over my skin. I hate to be this affected by him.  

I clear my throat to avoid the embarrassment of talking in a squeaky voice. “So, who were you living with?”

“No one. My aunt got custody when my mom left, but her husband didn’t want kids. He made her choose between him or me, so I’ve been living on my own since I’m thirteen.” My heart breaks then. Not only at the fact that he had to live by himself when he was still a child, but at the way he says it. Matter-of-factly. As if it was the most normal thing in the world that his mother, his aunt, and his uncle abandoned him. As horrible as my dad is, I’ve never had to fend for myself. And my mom loved me so much. If cancer hadn’t taken her away, she’d be here fighting for me. Drake has no one. I can’t help the tears glistening in my eyes. “Hey! Don’t cry, Lexie,” his thumb moves from my eyebrow to my cheek as he wipes the tears off my face. ”I prefer to live by myself than go to a foster house. And Leona checks on me now and then.”

“If your mom died, where’s your sister?”

He takes a deep breath but doesn’t pronounce a single word for a few minutes. Finally, he clears his throat and speaks. “Savvy was with my mom in the car. She died too.” 

I want to say something. Anything. But I can’t. Nothing seems like enough. Sorry is such an empty word—a stupid cliché. I’m horrified at my own muteness, so I do the only thing I can think of. I hug him. At first, he just stands there, his arms hanging at his sides. But soon, I can feel him giving in, his heart beating hard against my chest. He encircles his arms around me, wrapping me in the tightest hug possible. I don’t know who’s comforting whom anymore. I only know that I love being here, and I hope it’s giving him a little solace, this hug.

 It doesn’t mean I’ll forgive or even forget what he put me through, but no one deserves to go through that kind of pain alone. 

“I’ll be outside, Lexie,” he says when he finally lets me go. “If you need anything, anything at all, just call for me, okay?”

“Wait!’ I yell, so he turns around. “Are you really going to sleep on the floor?”

He shrugs. “I don’t mind. I just want to make sure you’re safe,” he hesitates as if he’s going to add something important. “Good night, Lexie.” 

“Wait,” I feel my cheeks redden just thinking about what I’m about to propose. “You can sleep here, I-I know you won’t hurt me.”

“Never,” he says, a determined look on his face. “I would never hurt you that way, and you have no idea how much I regret how I’ve treated you in the past. But I’ll be okay sleeping outside. I know you’ll feel better sleeping here by yourself.” 

I can’t deny that. I meant what I said about trusting him not to hurt me, but I can’t forget what he did either. “At least take this pillow and the blanket. I’ll manage with the pillow and the cover left.” He hesitates, so I insist. “Please. I won’t be able to sleep otherwise.”

After taking them and giving me one of the saddest smiles I’ve ever seen, he closes the door behind him and leaves me alone in the room. I lie on his bed, incapable of sleeping. The pain in his eyes when he told me about his little sister haunts me all night long. 

The following day I toss around in bed, confused and angry at myself. I can’t have feelings for Drake Walker. I can’t forget the insults or the anger in his eyes, the hurt that his words caused me every -single time. I just can’t. I hate what happened to him. I genuinely do, but iI have to think about myself. Denying that I’m attracted to him would be preposterous. Our chemistry is strong and undeniable, and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Maybe that’s it. Perhaps I just need one night with him, so I can move on with my life. Get him out of my system.

When I finally leave the bed, I find a note under my door: Went to buy some groceries, be back soon. DW

I go to the room where I assume he’s going to build the kitchen. For now, there’s only a more-than-a-few-years-old microwave and a cooler. I open the cabinets, but there’s barely anything there. 

Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. I feel my heart slamming in my chest; if it’s my father, I have no means of defending myself. I’m about to escape through the back door when a woman’s voice starts yelling.

“Open up, Drake. I’m not in the mood today.” 

I open the door because the voice sounds familiar. I recognize Leona, the principal’s assistant. And I know she’s related to Drake.

Leona arches an eyebrow when she sees me. “Ms. O’Brien, what on earth are you in my nephew’s cabin? Does your father even know where you are?”

“I’m 18. I don’t have to tell my father where I am.” I answer in a much bolder tone than I feel.

She shrugs, clearly uninterested. “Well, I brought this to my nephew. Tell him I want those signed by next week. We’re not going to lose thousands of euros because of some dumb nostalgia.”

She hands me a big manila folder, I take it, but she doesn’t let go. “Maybe you’re the one who can convince him.”

“Convince him about what?”

“His father Jackson left him this piece of land, but it isn’t worth a dime without cattle or money to invest in it. But, a couple of months ago a big company approached us, they wanted to build a landfill here. Drake refuses to sell. He thinks he’s going to honor his dead father by rebuilding this old piece of crap, but he will never have the money to do it.” 

“Never.” The deep voice that comes from the entrance startles us both. “This was my dad’s dream. He wanted a ranch, and one day this place will be one,” Drake says, “I told you already, Leona. I won’t sell; I don’t care how much they’re offering you to convince me.”

“I’ve never denied that they’re offering me a commission for the sale, Drake. But I still think it’s the best move for you.” Leona leaves the papers on the table, turns and leaves the cabin. 

“You love this land?” I’m genuinely curious. 

He slowly nods. “It’s all I have left of my dad. He’s the only person that ever gave two damns about me.”

“That says more about your family than about you, Drake.”

He looks directly at me. His gaze doesn’t leave mine for a long minute. I want to get closer to him, to touch him. Not only to offer some comfort but because my body reacts to him in the wildest way. Just standing next to him in the kitchen, I feel my heart beating faster, my hands trembling harder, my sex getting wetter. The response he gets from me is maddening. And it’s making me insane. There’s no freaking way in hell; I’m going to have feelings for Drake Walker.

“I- I need to take a shower. I’ll eat later.” Without giving him any time to respond, I run to the bathroom and shut the door. I open the shower and get inside, desperate for some release, anything that’ll take my mind off him. His stupid perfect smirk and deep eyes. That voice of his, intense, soft, and deep at the same time. Those big hands, calloused and capable. Hands that I just know would know precisely how to touch me. Before I realize it, I’m coming as quietly as I can. Sadly, my relief only lasts a few minutes, my body needs him --Drake Walker, and no substitute would do. 

When I come out, he’s waiting for me with a hot cup of coffee and a couple of white chocolate-strawberry muffins---my favorite kind. 

We eat in silence, but I don’t feel the weight of it as I usually do. Ours is a companionable silence. 

After breakfast, we decide to take a hike next to the lake. A bit of exercise and the lake’s breathtaking landscape might be exactly what I need to stop thinking about my father and the confusing feelings I have for Drake. 

“I think I need a job. Do you know how I can get one?” I hate that I’m so spoiled, but I’ve never lifted a finger in my life. I have no idea how I can get a job. 

“Uhm sure. Here in Portavira?”

“Actually, I was thinking of moving to Cordonia city after graduation. “Drake stops walking for a second. “It’s too late to enroll for next semester, but I can get a job and start college next year.”

He finally starts walking again and nods slowly. “What do you want to do?” 

I blush. My dreams don’t include being famous or rich. All I want is a good, quiet life. Falling in love, having a family. Doing a job I’d enjoy and traveling as much as possible -even if it’s on a low budget. “You’ll think it’s dumb.”

Drake looks at me. “I swear I won’t, Lexie. There’s nothing you can say that I’ll find dumb. It’s just not possible.”

“I love books. They offer you new worlds. They allow you to escape and be someone else for a few pages. You can never be alone when you’re reading a book. I’d love to have a job where I would be surrounded by books. Maybe become a librarian and then open a bookstore one day.”

Drake nods but doesn’t reply. I knew he would find my dream stupid.

“I know it’s not much-“

He stands in front of me and tilts my chin until our eyes meet. “It’s amazing, Lexie. I was just thinking how great you’d be at it. Remember the top 5 assignment for Mr. Daniels?”

Of course, I do. Mr. Daniels, our English teacher, asked us to make a list of our five favorite books and recommend them to the class. 

I nod. “Yeah”

“Well, I read all the books on your list. I checked them out of the school’s library and fuck, I loved them all. Especially the one from that Krakauer guy.”

“Into the Wild?”

“Yep. I really enjoyed it. The way that guy Christopher reinvented himself spoke to me.” He holds my gaze. “You’d be an awesome librarian, Lex. You would also be an amazing writer. I remember that short story you wrote for Mr. Daniel’s class. The one about the lonely girl and how she traveled through time with her mind. You have no idea how much I loved it.”

I can’t believe he remembers that story. We had that assignment more than a year ago. “I’ve always wanted to write, but my dad thinks my stories aren’t good enough.”

“Your father is a dick. Your stories are amazing.” 

He looks at me in a way that makes my knees weak. The intensity in his eyes is overwhelming, so I feel it again. The connection with him. The desire. Maybe the only way this would go away is if I give in to it. 

“There is something you can do for me,” I say, surprising myself. As soon as those two words are out of my mouth, though, I know there is something I need from Drake. 

And he’s the only one who can give it to me. “Get you out of my system.” 

He stands still as a statue. “What?” 

“Get yourself out of my system.” It starts to rain, and it makes me speak louder, feel bolder and freer. “For two years, you provoked me, insulted me, stalked me, bullied me…” He makes a frantic sound, his eyes slamming shut. “And yet, I still—I still can’t stop thinking of your hands that night in my garden. How big and warm and rough they were. I can’t stop imagining you taking off my clothes. Even the ugliest things you’ve said to me, I imagine you saying them in my ear while you…while we…” 

Drake falls toward me a step, clutching the center of his chest. “Lexie—” 

“Please, get yourself out of my head. One night together. Okay, Drake? So I can get on with my life knowing fantasy was way better than reality. That I built up some unrealistic idea of what we’d be like together that we can’t possibly live up to.” My throat closes. “Get me on the road to forgetting you. Please.” As we walk, I can see the mixture of devastation and hope in his eyes. 

“And what if reality lives up to the fantasy?” 

“It won’t,” I say fast, with conviction. It couldn’t possibly live up to it. And yet I suck in a nervous breath when he crosses the divide between us, every cell in my body craving him. Fight or flight. In a matter of moments, he’s gone from wounded animal to determined predator, the rain causing his dark hair to hang low over one eye, dripping, his hands ready at his sides. 

“Are you so sure, Lexie?” 

Damn my hesitation. “Yes,” I whisper. “You’ll prove me right in one night. I can move forward without feeling like I’m leaving something behind.” 

“What if your fantasies come true tonight? Could we ever move forward as…as an us?”

 I can’t believe what he’s suggesting. “There can never be an us, Drake. Not after everything that’s happened. I’ll never change my mind about that.” I shake my head. “How can you think I would?” 

“Maybe I think if I want it hard enough, it’ll come true.” 

“It won’t,” I whisper, starting to ask myself if I’m making a mistake. Opening myself up for even more heartache and pinning for this man than I’ve already lived through. It feels like a lifetime’s worth. “One n-night.” 

“No backing out from this point on?” My heart beats urgently. 

“No backing out.” 

He’s silent so long; I’m not sure he’s going to respond. And then, all at once, he reaches me in two strides and scoops me up into his arms. I realize he’s going to bring me into the cabin, “I’ve been studying you for years, Lexie O’Brien. I’ve been hanging on to your every sigh, every expression, and mood. Years. If you don’t think I’ve obsessed weeks of my life away over how you’d like to be fucked, baby, you’re sorely mistaken.” We reach the house in a matter of minutes, and he doesn’t stop; he just keeps going until we’re in his room. And oh God, I have made a severe miscalculation. Because Drake’s showing me exactly what’s always been in my heart and mind when I thought of us together, it’s my fantasy come to life, the two of us wrapped in the arms of the other. And as he turns me, urging my legs around his waist, his ravenous mouth bearing down on mine, I realize I might never recover from this. 

[mettywiththenotes]

I love how much Trope Bending happens in MHA! The Sports Festival is the best example of this; We'd expect Izuku to win every fight, Bakugo to ruthlessly destroy Ochako who starts crying at the first explosion, we'd expect the tournament to get interrupted and a winner is never declared. BUT NONE OF THAT HAPPENS! Ochako ALMOST WINS and Bakugo ACKNOWLEDGES HER AS A WORTHY OPPONENT BY USING HER NAME not a courtesy he gives Kirishima, Todoroki or Tokoyami, all people who are arguably stronger than Ochako! Izuku doesn't even get to the semi-finals! I loved the Sports Festival Arc and I love the tropes it broke.

It also means it's a lot less predictable to read in fanfics, too. So many MHA fanfics I read that cover the Sports Festival arc and are Canon Divergence will play it in so many unique ways! Sometimes Izuku wins, sometimes he forfeits in the first fight, sometimes Izuku helps someone else win, sometimes someone Quirkless wins or Hitoshi wins or Shouto wins or anything can happen! I love that too!

Yesss I loved it too. It was a really interesting arc specifically, I think, because you couldn't predict how things would go, especially with it being in the early chapters of the manga (not much of a rhythm or rhyme to something that's so fairly new)

I'm sure any other Shonen would have probably gotten Izuku all the way to the very end through Sheer Determination and have him either miraculously win the festival or lose at the last second or smthg (victory so close but lost so quickly)

But I really like that Izuku lost early, but not too early. Like, luck was on his side but you know what else? His brain! He's a smart kid and I think Hori used that well to show that he does have that advantage over people and can come up with alternatives or thought-out plans but Izuku isn't some like. Shonen Whiz who succeeds through determination alone. Kid succeeds but also messes up, sometimes because of that determination (recklessness)

I think the arc was one of those examples of Izuku constantly saying "I'm blessed, I'm lucky" and meaning it, because he did have that advantage of his friends and OFA but also had a blend of his own personality messing him up

About Bakugou, it's funny because the Sports Festival is actually when I started to like him! Before Shiggy got to the top of the list, Bakugou was my favourite and it was all because of how he was treated in the Sports Festival

You're right, we would expect him to be destructive, we would expect him to be unfair or smthg, behave like a selfish bully (like we thought he was before this arc), but the fact that this arc showed a side of Bakugou that we hadn't seen before - or at least wasn't made so clear to us before - was just so interesting to watch! To see him gain respect for Ochako, to see how he respected her stubbornness and her strategy, to use the battlefield against him - It just gave so much more of an insight into how Bakugou works and I love that so much

The best parts about the festival is that nothing went how we thought it would (even the whole thing with Shouto wasn't an I Hate You Dad Goodbye Forever, it was a I Need To Think About What I Want Now But I'm Not Leaving Just Yet, and that was also super interesting) and that's honestly so much more interesting than the standard of Everybody Succeeding Through Sheer Determination imo

Also that whole thing about the pros in the audience. I think that worked so well with 1) our initial perception that heroes are good and respectable and then being shown that, actually, they can be stupid af and uncaring too - which is also shown through Endeavor - and 2) how it challenges your perception again, that Bakugou is just a selfish horrible bully and so everything he does is Bad, but then Aizawa comes in, tells everyone the logic of the situation and to sit back down because the match is still going on

It definitely earns the title of a growth arc, one where it's not unquestionable victory, but a reminder that the kids are still, well, kids! And they will mess up and fail and learn and grow, and even if they succeed, the peak of it is not in some festival, but later, when they get more experience and train harder and become Heroes

I think one of the things bnha does well is that subversion. Like, there may be some things that are predictable, but the fact that some battles and arcs and plot lines aren't is what makes it interesting! If everything were to go exactly how we want it, complete victory and constant success, that'd be so boring to read. Sometimes, those twists are totally needed in order to bring out the gold in a story, and it's one of the reasons why so many people can add their own twist to their own fics I think - bnha has some predictable moments but it does hammer home that anything is possible! Which, you know, is kind of the point of the story anyway! And you can feel that! So it works well with whatever you can come up with

[pocketramblr]

other main character meta- Ochako, pt 1

<part 2>

“Could you send me there?” you ask, while i blink, confused. “The world where someone else is the main character? not because i have any hypocritical biases against the one i got, just curious how the fandom meta changes.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” I nod, thinking, before tapping my wand against your forehead. “Let’s start with Ochako.”

"I'm going to warn you now- I will have to slightly adjust the plot like I did with Mirio, just to actually let her be the main character."

"Yeah, that checks out." You nod, thinking about certain arcs where the female fighting teams get no coverage while the dudes get four different backstory reveals and full fight focus.

"Very well."

The show begins with a brief narration by the girl of quirks and super hero fights- all flashy. Then it zooms out to show the destruction, and a small construction team moving in as Ochako explains that just as there are new careers in society for heroes, there's also a bigger market for construction companies, one of which her own family runs.

"I've always wanted to help them with it, and my quirk would be useful"- a tiny, adorable Ochako finally appears, making rocks in a park float- "but to get a work license like that is expensive and selective- you've got to make a lot of court appearances and convince them why is a good idea and won't destroy the economy. It's much easier to get a hero license."

Then she explains: "Of course, once you have a hero license, you can make a lot more money than just by helping the company. Especially if... Your family company isn't doing very well." A series of tired but loving parents are shown working all hours to make ends meet.

"I want to help them- my parents. They've done everything for me, and they deserve a break. So that's why I'm going to be a hero- their hero."

The training montage is quick, using her quirk during school in training, after school in secret, around the house. She saves up money too, and studies, aiming for a scholarship.

She applies and tests for many hero schools, and the exams all vary widely.

The first episode ends with her looking up at UA, her final one, the one she really hopes to get into.

"Oh, that's nice." You nod. "And we even get to know her parents' quirks here."

"Yep." I agree. "In general, there's a lot more of a look at the financial side. It's pretty interesting."

"And the fandom?"

"Well, certain people get praised for the bare minimum, but I'll admit having a female lead is super uncommon for shonen jump." It's an improvement, though it's up in the air how much of one it will be. "There's also, because we saw a lot more hero schools, a ton of "students at different school" fics, either because they were expelled or because of the danger UA gets into."

"I do kinda feel like this universe is lucky for that sort of world building." You nod.

"It's very cool to see the takes on the aus. But, I will say there's a cost for this world building- the AfO stuff reeeeally comes out of nowhere and tends to not be popular with fans."

The next episode starts, and Ochako helps a boy from falling. "Love interest alert!" The fans notice quickly when the cute boy blushes and doesn't manage to say much before she walks away.

"They caught on quick." You note.

"And they aren't wrong." Not that it's any real feat to be right.

The exam starts, and Ochako is off in a flash. You see a few glimpses of future classmates- Iida, Aoyama, Kirishima.

She does well, racking up villain points and rescue points, until she's a little too ambitious and falls into the rubble. Her nausea is well established by now, everyone knows she's at her limit.

She can't get up.

The green haired boy comes back and stops the zero pointer.

And breaks every bone in the process.

Ochako saves him in return, lifting up the rubble and stopping his fall.

And then vomits violently afterwards.

"You know, I think quirks suck, actually." The fandom tends to agree on this after that episode/chapter. "But it is interesting that there's such a price for the powers, balances it really well."

"Ha." You shake your head. "They caught onto that, quicker."

"Yep." I can't even say it's more highlighted here, it's the exact same way it was shown in our universe- down to the sparkling rainbow puke.

"Though..." You can't quite imagine that's the only thing the fandom is saying isn't actually that great.

"Ding ding ding." I nod. "Did our own main character get treated just like a damsel in distress? Sure, she saved him back, but that just meant she could have floated away on her own in that time, even if it made her sick. Better that than dead. Is it the sexism?" I shrug. "Most decide to wait and see a bit, and by the time they work together in the first battle exercise figure it's a pretty even split between them saving each other."

"So no sexism?" You get happy at that thought.

I cough. "Ah, no. Both in the show and the fandom. You wouldn't believe how many grown men complain about the lady mc, even as they keep watching."

"And have her body pillow."

"Please don't make me think about that." I cover my eyes, but don't deny that it's true. "Anyway, yeah. Get ready for a lot of people to point out that even though the main character is a girl, every single other girl is flat as cardboard so far and that she only has developed friends that are guys."

"Hey, they aren't flat-"

"In the first season? Yeah they are. Unless you meant, physically, in which case..."

"I didn't." You protest. "But I guess I can see your point, at the start."

"Right. Let's continue on."

Uraraka goes to Present Mic to offer her points. The man pats her on the head, and skyrockets to the position of fandom dad.

"It's all about Dadmic and then Dadzawa here," I explain. "The fans were very disappointed to learn Mic wasn't her homeroom teacher, but yeah... He got a huge head start before Dadzawa fics got going."

"Nice. And it's all fanon?"

"Yeah, it may be a good thing he's not actually in it much, or they might realize how much they just made up on their own."

Then she gets accepted in, on hero and rescue points- she's third place overall, and she gets the scholarship.

On the first day of school, she actually gets to know her love interest's name- Midoriya!

There's also the quirk assessment, which really leads to the "expelled to another school" au and the "fire Aizawa and replace him with better Mic" aus, the first of which lasts much longer in the fandom use, but the second one was just as passionate for a while.

Iida becomes the second friend, and gives her the "Infinity Girl" nickname- which actually is the fandom assumption of what her hero name will be for quite a while, a la 'ground zero'.

Then it's time for All Might's first appearance on screen, to much applause of the students, and the announcement that they get their costumes.

During the first battle exercise, there's a lot more lingering camera work in the changing rooms. Ochako gets to expand a lot more on how she didn't want her costume to be that tight. It's uncomfortable, especially when she thinks about wearing it in front of everyone.

"Oh, I forgot she didn't like it at first... Does she just, get used to it here?" It sounds horrible for the plot to just say 'get used to it' to the main character being sexualized by costume makers outside of her control, especially as a child.

"Not on my watch." I mumble, waving the wand. "Don't worry, she'll actually get more costume changes each time, like some other characters."

"Oh good."

Mineta, regrettably, still exists. You find the fandom manages to be even more violent in his removal.

The battle does even out the opinions on Midoriya, as well as lead to a boost in Iida's with his charming little attempt at thinking villainously.

And cements Bakugo as rather hated. No one has really liked him, when the first thing he did was blow up at Midoriya, then get revealed to have called him a cruel nickname all this time. And then specifically hunt him down because all he cares about it beating him up.

"Yeah he's not gonna get a lot of fans here huh."

"He sure never gets first place in the popularity poll." I agree. "Most consider him the subversion of the rival trope to show is just stupid and violent and in real life, people like that don't go anywhere."

"Most?"

I look away. "How dumb of a discourse do you think you could see today?"

"Oh please, show me." You lean in. "It's nice to not have to deal with it in my universe, so I don't care."

The discourse is such.

Bakugo is gay-coded for Midoriya, the violence is a result of him being shoved off for a girl's love interest when she should be single and independent, and the homophobic creator is vilifying all gay people by saying they are predatory to poor straight boys with refused.

"They............... What."

"If it makes you feel better, that's a very brief minority of the fandom. My favorite response to it was "he's not gay-coded, he's bully coded you sanctimonious sumph of a shmuck.""

"Oh good," you sigh. "I'm glad we don't have to deal with actual queerphobic tropes like that."

I stare at you.

"What?"

I sigh. "Nothing, put a pin in that until I bring up the predatory bi thing with Toga."

Your eyes widen, and you start to have some regrets.

"Anyway, we can talk shipping later. Time for more."

The 'exit sign Iida' gives him a boost in being shipped with Ochako, (as well as Yaoyorozu) and also the general idea that "Ochako has two hands."

That one hand can have a boyfriend with a lot of cash to spare for her and the other is also played with.

"I missed the main trio, like this." You smile as they walk off into the sunset after school.

"Yeah." I agree. "Anyway, time for some near death experiences."

The USJ marks the start of the gradual, gradual growth of Dadzawa fics. It also focuses far more on Ochako, Mina, Sero, and Iida having to think strategically to get around Kurogiri. It's only after Iida escapes that we cut back to a slightly abridged version of how Midoriya was doing, then the other kids, before help arrives.

He does still through his first non bone breaking punch though, which makes the audience happy.

All Might saves the day. Aizawa is battered afterwards. Many fans start out by saying they were disappointed, since this was supposed to be the first big fight, and the kids didn't do much. Many others say in response that's the point- we're looking at first years, they had to think and help each other, but in the end they had to rely on adults.

And then the sports festival is announced. They want to do well, because this is how they get work-week placements, which could become internship offers.

Ochako thinks about Hado Nejire, the only intern of a top ten hero, and senior at UA, along with a few others who are on the up and up. She's determined.

"Really? You're bringing in the big three early?" You ask, glancing at my wand.

It's not sparkling.

I cross my arms with a huff. "Look. Nejire is at this point the only intern in the top ten, she would have been recognizable to the students for that, even if they didn't recognize the big three (which really means that they aren't actually called the Big Three by everyone, or at least not a wide enough group for it to be as big a deal as it's treated. Anyway.) But she wasn't, even if she should have been the most famous of the bunch, considering the coverage the first years got in just their first night. That's because a certain someone doesn't actually think of his female characters much, but he has to in this universe, so."

"Ok, yeah, that's fair. So does that change the sports festival?"

"Not... Much." I admit.

“What?”

“Well, keep in mind in the first universe, our main character didn’t make it past the second round in the one-on-one’s. So she’s not exactly guaranteed a win here either.”

You have to nod, admitting that is true.

“And the conflict isn’t so much about having to live up to any predecessor or breaking down some people’s walls via breaking bones.” I tap my wand against my chin, thinking. “There really is two- one about Midoriya, and one about Ochako’s parents.”

“Oh?”

“One, there’s been the Uraraka’s not happy about how much danger Ochako’s been in. Its been hinted at in the phone calls, but really shows up when we get to see them at home before the SF for the first time since she moved for school. They aren’t sure if she can stay there herself, or if the right thing to do would be to pull her out and maybe try a smaller school.”

“I suppose that's fair, if they haven't been able to actually see her or her progress.”

“Right. The second one is- well. in this, Izuku’s win of the first round, and then breaking out of brainwashing, is more about really piling on how good his mind is- all that brain power. This adds more pressure when we see Ochako being offered a plan from him to beat Bakugo.”

“Oh that does sound neat.”

“Yep- but of course, she still refuses. It’s held up as a worse thing, strategically, initially- but then she comes up with a plan that Midoriya confirms in the stands is better than his, and proves to her parents that she’s smart and skilled enough to handle continuing at the school.”

You smile. “That is a cool arc to do, i guess, if very not traditional. But what about all the character setup and growth with Shinsou and Todoroki?”

“Oh, Shinsou’s largely gets delegated all the way later for the joint training arc, where Ochako’s team is directly against him. Todoroki...” I begin to giggle.

You wait for me to answer, getting more concerned the longer i laugh.

“Pocket?”

“Sorry, sorry, yeah. He actually tells her himself in this canon, a bit after stain. Oh! right, i forgot- the cheerleader incident.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes. of course they need this merch opportunity! But yes, it happens. The... shall we say, non-body-pillow portion of the fandom, generally saw it as the end of any goodwill to Kaminari, who had previously been seen as a tertiary possible love interest, since he’d flirted with her on the first day. Flirt, but harmless, and unlikely to be important. Then there was that breach of trust and international embarrassment, and anyway he’s basically the second least likely in 1a to be shipped with her now.”

“Wow. So none of that changed?”

“Well, the setup wasn’t under narration from Todoroki about how his mother was bought for her body and how much that sucked and impacted her and the family while on screen we see multiple girls tricked into barring their bodies and its treated as a laugh instead?”

You stare at me. “I’m not sure if that’s better or worse.”

“Neither am I.”

“So, the Todoroki reveal?”

“Right. So, first you need to know the Stain thing- the claims he has against ‘false’ heroes focusing on money is better spotlighted. After Stain’s arrest, Ochako hears a couple of sidekicks at Gunhead’s agency-”

“Wait!” you interrupt. “She still interned with Gunhead? Then what was the point of showing Nejire and Ryukyuu earlier?”

I try not to massage my forehead. “To build up to it. She only made it to the first of the final round, she couldn’t get an internship with a top tenner yet. She’s also got to learn how to disarm someone who fights with a knife. These things build up over more time, small steps.”

“Ah.” You’re satisfied, and let me continue.

“Right, so, Overhears a couple of them talking about Stain’s philosophy and ends up just feeling really bad about it for a bit, trying to figure out if she’s actually being selfish or a bad hero for, you know, wanting her family to not be crushed due to capitalism.”

“Poor girl.” You shake your head in sympathy, the freeze. “Oh. did not intend that pun.”

“It’s alright, i know what you mean. And yeah, she bottles it up for a bit, until the second day back at school. Then Iida reminds her that him bottling things up last week got several kids in mortal danger, and she begrudgingly admits that he has a point and tells them about what has been bugging her.”

“And they comfort her?”

“Well, Todoroki also offers to tell off Kaminari because at this point his mention of stain upset both her and iida, but yes, A lot of reassurances.”

You squint. “I feel like shippers.”

“You’re learning! Yes, Todoroki is just a bit behind Iida in terms of popularity shipping with her. and she does basically get shipped A Lot with each girl in her class too, like imagine double to triple the amount with each girl now, and for the minor guys- but yeah. There’s a lottttt of ships. This was basically called ‘todoroki’s introduction into ochako’s harem’ in the fandom.”

Shipping. fandom just can’t escape it.

“So, then she learns about Todoroki’s past? oh, and what about Hosu? Does she- and everyone else- actually think Endeavor saved the three??”

I snort. “Oh, no. Todoroki’s flat ‘yeah my father totally helped us, as you read on the official report’ basically tipped the fandom off that something else had. But nothing confirmed either, you know? Filling in the hosu gap is another trope in fics that is pretty common.”

“Neat.”

“Yep. But yeah Todoroki tells her his backstory a bit after his introduction into her ‘harem’ of friends. It’s really played up more to caution Ochako- its alright for her to want to help her family, and to work for money to do that. But Rei accepted the marriage offer for money for her family too, and it ended up breaking her. Ochako has to accept a balance- she can work to help her family, and its good, but there are some things she cannot morally do to help them, and other things that she shouldn’t do because she has to take care of her own health first.”

“Ohhhh.” You hadn’t quite expected that, but you sorta liked it, now that you thought about it.

I smile. “It is pretty neat, yeah.” I glance at my watch. “Look, i hate to cut you off, but this post is gonna end up thrice the length of Mirio’s and i think tumblr might stop me, so we’re gonna have to do a two-parter.”

“That’s fine.” You are gracious for what you’ve gotten so far, and do have questions that you’re excited to see answered for the rest of the series. “It’s been fun.”

“It has been.” I agree. “Lets take a break, but you can ask me any questions too, before I return for part two.”

<part 2>