#my dad and brother sit there looking at me like i'm crazy when i start talking about how a game has made me feel

[allthegothihopgirls]

it is so hard being a themes and motifs + 'finding relatability within the story' game person, and trying to equate the experience you have gaming, to someone who solely plays battlepass progression system games.

[heegyukeluv]

complementary - the physics of your body [part 1] (sjy)

pairing: brother's best friend!jake x afab!reader

synopsis: The thermodynamics of your bodies together, the sound wave of your moans, the gravity that pulled you towards each other. You were a perfect combination, the right equilibrium, complementary.

my's note: i had to break this work into two parts due to the size of it, i'm so sorry. i'll post the part 2 in a few days! my longest (and dirtiest) work lol. i used some physics concepts but funny thing hah i know nothing about physics SO PLEASE don't think too much into it... also don't know if i'd commit this much with a fic if wasn't for ari freaking out whenever I teased to add something new so please everyone say thank you ari! <3 on a side note: this is especially for her. i love you, ari 💞

warnings: mention of trauma from parents, jay is y/n’s older brother, jake is jay's best friend and three years older than the reader, physics stuff lol, reader blushing/turning red!, drama/arguments, fluff, angst a little (with happy ending!!), pet names (babe, doll, good girl...) SMUT - so minors DO NOT interact!, unprotected sex (don’t do it!!!), oral (m.), choking, jk cum inside, gag, overstimulation (m.). lmk if i missed something!

wc: 27k.

NOT PROOFREAD.

taglist 💖: @yvnempire, @marigold-sunflowers

“I know that delaying it seemed the right thing to do at the time, but I don’t think you can run away from physics anymore, kiddo.”

As your eyes rolled, annoyed with the nickname, you smacked the pizza dough into the cold marble, kneading it to make it perfectly soft. The inner core of your stomach tightened with the reminder, bringing a bitter taste on the back of your throat that made you gulp.

“I’m literally in my second year in college and you’re still calling me that.”

Your muttered words elicited an immediate laugh from Jay, your big brother, who had his body resting on the door frame while watching you across the kitchen, panicking over the fact that you would finally have to deal with your biggest fear in school, by choosing to randomly make pizza at 4pm on a thursday.

‘It helps me to destress,’ you explained once. ‘To smack something that’s not someone’s face.’

“You’d always be my kiddo,” he answered back fondly, yet with a hint of mocking, as he moved to sit at the kitchen peninsula chair. 

Jay never really raised a question over your decisions and behaviors, applauding and supporting you every time while shooting loving eyes towards you whenever you were around doing your silly little things; just like now, as he followed your movements, a bit concerned with your deep frown and how quickly your hands worked on the dough, but nearby just in case you needed some help.

Over the years, the two of you shared a strong, healthy bond, especially within the walls of the house you grew up in.

Having wealthy parents came with its perks and its drawbacks, but for you, the drawbacks often outweighed the rest. Pursuing a dream that didn’t align with your dad’s expectations felt almost like a betrayal of your family’s values, as if you were intentionally choosing to disappoint them by turning away from the prospect of becoming a doctor, lawyer, or even a future CEO of the family company.

Some would say you were crazy for challenging yourself into a rougher path, giving away the possibilities of a stable life to pursue your real dreams. However, it didn’t sound right for you to live a life without your wills being the main worry of it, forcing yourself to fit a model instead of creating your own.

Amidst the chaos you grew up in, Jay was always there to hold you close and feel proud with your achievements, protecting and looking after you.

He would drive you to your classes every morning when he started high school and you were still finishing middle school, buy you expensive gifts, and take you to fancy restaurants for your birthday. He always had his bedroom’s door unlocked for you to come when you felt like crying in the middle of the night because of something shitty your parents screamed at you. He never minded skipping work or classes if it meant staying home to take care of you when you were sick. And he had no issue scaring away any guy who, in his eyes, never seemed to be worthy enough of you.

You couldn’t help but laugh whenever his protective tactics worked, knowing that, deep down, your brother was just a big softie, never ever daring to kill an insect and crying over romantic movies.

Moving in with him always sounded right, it was part of your big plans; finish school, get into college and share an apartment with your brother, who would be just wrapping up his own studies.

Jay offered you the reliability you needed.

He was three years older than you, now working as a CEO in one of your family’s company subsidiaries after finishing administration school, and tried his best to give you everything you wanted and needed to live a good, comfortable life at least until you achieved your goal and stability by yourself, not wanting for your to do side jobs and focus only on studying.

Jay never cared much about doing it for him, choosing to pamper you to the brim without asking for anything back, even though you unconsciously paid with your happiness.

Due to your tough relationship with your parents, you never really took it for granted, working hard to keep yourself steady enough to live alone if you need to – Jay, on the other hand, would move mountains for that never to happen.

Jay fought for his place in the world with a little less struggle than you, and he blamed himself for it to some extent.

Your parents beamed with joy when he announced he would be studying business administration; you still remember that night of celebration, with your father practically glowing with happiness – the kind of happiness you knew you would never be able to give him, since you wanted to follow the artistic path of the spectrum.

Eventually, with your decision’s outcome, Jay made it his mission to take care of both of you, because he understood that life had been unfair to you. It wasn’t your fault that you didn’t want to follow the pattern they had set out for you based only on their expectations. You didn’t deserve to hear the hurtful words your parents threw at you, expressing their disappointment and sadness over who you had become.

Jay, however, admired the incredible woman you had turned into, in awe of your strength to keep fighting for your dreams, and he worked tirelessly to ensure you were safe, sound, and happy.

Now, you were in your second year in college, studying fine arts with Jay’s unwavering financial support; he offered you a comfortable place to live, covered your tuition and fees, food, clothes, and even your materials and books without bothering to ask for anything back in return.

The only thing he wanted was for you to concentrate on your studies and be happy.

And focus you did, although you had postponed as much as you could to finish a part of the core curriculum.

After everything you had been through, you could honestly say that physics was your biggest – and most frustrating – enemy. 

You hated physics with passion, never understanding why the fuck you had to study it.

The speed of the light? Why bother? You would never use it to measure anything in your everyday life anyway. And gravity? Yeah, you knew it kept you grounded on Earth, but it sure didn’t help you keep your steps steady. You were constantly tripping over your own feet.

It just never made sense to you. It only made you want to scream in frustration, tearing at your hair with every weird equation and choice of words to explain annoying, bullshit stuff.

“I just hate physics,” you groaned, breath heavy as your anger increased; a few strands of hair fell messily across your face, making the whole situation worse. “I hate it,” you muttered, punching the dough harder. Jay laughed. “Hate it, hate it, hate it!” You repeated, each word punctuated by another angry smack against the poor pizza dough.

Jay, trying to hide his grin, shook his head. "I don’t think the pizza dough has anything to do with your physics situation," he teased.

As much as he loved you, he was your brother and would always find a way to taunt your nerves before really offering a helping hand. 

A deep sigh escaped your lips as you fluttered your eyes close and threw your head back. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks, a mix of irritation and helplessness washing over you working as a perfect mix to send you to the edge of losing control, and you wondered why you got so triggered over such a trivial thing.

Then, it clicked. Of course, trauma from your parents. 

You had always pushed yourself over the limit to be better, to get the highest grades and do your absolute best in school, only to feel frustrated when you couldn’t achieve perfection.

In your parents’ eyes, you would never be good enough no matter how many perfect scores you aced on exams and assignments.

In college, despite moving out of their house and ending contact almost entirely, you still held yourself to the same impossible standards, sometimes even worse.

Confronting a subject where you knew you couldn’t be the best felt like a trigger, a reminder of everything you had been told over the years.

Useless. Incapable. Insufficient.

You automatically remembered last night, when you sat at your desk, eyes wandering over the physics textbooks sprawled open on the surface, words coming in a blur. You couldn’t pinpoint when exactly it was due to your incapacity to understand them or to your tears that flowed easily after some minutes sitting in trance.

The weight was almost suffocating and you called it a day when your hands started to tremble and your body ached for rest, feeling extra tired just by… staring.

You rested your hips on the cold marble, blinking your eyelids open to glance at your brother. He had now a softened expression, calm and fond, hands comfortably placed on the countertop.

“I think I’m just oversensitive,” you said, voice barely above a whisper as your hands now played with the dough absentmindedly, eyes slowly lowering to watch how your fingers disappeared into the soft white mixture. “Y’know, our parents they…” You trailed off, not really wanting to verbalize your thoughts.

“Yeah,” Jay nodded, sighing. The knot in his heart tightened seeing you so pouty, understanding from how deep and particular your frustration came. “Listen, I know you hate it, but you have to at least do the minimum to pass. You don’t have to ace it all.” Jay spoke while standing up to wrap around the counter and stand by your side, his body resting on the counter as well. 

You leaned into the touch when he caressed your hair, your whole body shifting to a less tense figure.

Jay tilted his head forward enough to search for your sad, puppy eyes. Suddenly, an insight crossed his mind and his lips curved into a smile.

“I have a friend,” he said and you finally glanced at him. The unexpected mention of his friend and how he sounded like having a great idea sparking your curiosity. “I think he’d love to help you.”

“So, I invited the guys over,” Jay said while placing some beers on the minifridge near the entrance of your shared living room. You were standing up awkwardly in the middle of the room, eyes following Jay’s excited figure as he organized the house to welcome his friends. “And while me, Heeseung and Sunghoon do something fun, you and Jake can do the boring stuff.”

Jay had a plan, a solid one. And in any other circumstance you wouldn’t be so nervous about it. 

It was just another regular Friday. It was also routine for you to go out with your friends to some bar, club, or even have a girls' night at someone's house, while Jay would head to the house his friends shared.

Jay always used the excuse that he would rather keep the house free for you or not bother you, especially on those nights when you would choose to stay home to relax or study, though part of you suspected that sometimes he was actually heading to a girl's house and just didn’t want to tell you.

Either way, today felt different.

It all started with him inviting the guys over to his place instead of the other way around, followed by a surprisingly sweet request for you to stay in and not go anywhere.

Soon after, he revealed his plan: he, Sunghoon, and Heeseung would play video games in the living room while you and Jake studied physics in some other corner of the house. He promised they would keep the noise down so as not to disturb you.

As said before, in any other situation you wouldn’t be reacting the way you were; hands sweating, heart pumping loudly in your eardrums, head spinning. But in other situations there was no Jake in the equation.

Sim fucking Jaeyun, also known as Jake, was one of Jay’s closest friends, acting as much as siblings as you two.

They met in school and hadn't left each other’s side ever since, sharing hundreds of stories together, with a bunch of adventures and countless funny moments. You closely watched them grow up and accomplish things side by side, constantly attending Jake's birthday parties and other of his family’s events, even participating vividly on some of the “boy’s night” in your house where you crushed them in the video games they choose to play, always eliciting surprised sounds from Jake followed by compliments excitedly said, that, at some point, started to make you feel things.

When Jay moved out to start college, you were left alone at the house that aimed to destroy your dreams and, indirectly, you, having to deal with a lot on your own, constantly hearing the harsh words from your parents and having to lower your head without the courage to fight back, because Jay wasn’t there to defend you anymore.

Jay’s routine became heavy, as he landed an internship early during his second year that consumed most of his time, barely having minutes to talk to you over the phone, moments where you opted to listen to his news and college life instead of filling him with your teenager suffering bullshit. 

On the other hand, Jake, who was also in college, had way more free time. Whenever he went back to visit his own parents, he would set a time to take you out on weekends, helping you clear your head by treating you with some ice cream and any other snacks you wanted while listening to your concerns.

You grew really close to Jake during your high school years, noticing the genuine attention he gave you. Jake would always be close to you as a protective older brother, someone who looked out for you and took good care of you, a very trustworthy and sincere friend.

And yet, you always, always felt guilty for letting your feelings for him go beyond “just friends.��

Jake was the same age as Jay – three years older than you, three years more experienced, three years more everything. He was, now, a man. A very attractive, hot, appealing man. 

You had the chance to watch Jake grow up right before your eyes, transforming from a good-looking teenager into a charming young man. He had an irresistible smile, warm brown eyes that radiated kindness and sweetness, and a genuine aura that permeated his personality – always wanting to help others in the most caring way possible.

He was friendly, easygoing, sociable, and intelligent.

And when you saw him blossom, it was impossible not to feel completely captivated.

You vividly remember the time your brother posted a photo with his friends at the beach, and there was Jake, shirtless, showing off his toned, slightly sun-kissed body to the world. At that time you were already in your first year of college, while he was finishing up his own studies deep into the engineer life he chose to live. 

Your relationship had cooled off a bit, as his academic demands increased and his visits became less frequent, until you eventually moved in with your brother. You assumed you would see Jake more often, but, for reasons unknown, Jay rarely invited his friends over to visit and Jake never really reached out for you.

It became awkward.

You attended parties with your brother and met Sunghoon and Heeseung, Jay’s college friends, that created a unique bond despite having known each other for less time. The four of them became as close as family, and Jay made sure his friends knew you in order to keep you safe when he wasn’t around, constantly allowing them to pick you up on your way back home due to some unexpected schedule that kept him from doing it himself, for instance.

Jake, however, became distant. He would always have excuses not to do any of that and whenever you saw him at parties, he would at most give you a forced smile and a slight, polite nod, quickly diverting his path and avoiding you for the rest of the night.

It was painful in a way, especially since now that you were grown you realized your chances with him might actually be within reach. 

As a teenager, your crush was as subtle as possible, aware that neither Jake nor Jay would ever approve of any kind of relationship between the two of you, so you never truly considered anything happening.

But now you had become a woman. And a relatively attractive one, if you did say so yourself. So, just as physics had never made sense to you, Jake’s reaction to your presence had become just as baffling, until eventually you buried your feelings completely and moved on.

At least, that’s what you thought – until Jay came up with this wild idea of having Jake as your physics tutor.

You gulped down your nervousness for the probably ninetieth time, now intensified by the bell ringing. Jay was in the bathroom and shouted for you to open the front door, saying it was the guys that had arrived.

As you made your way towards the entrance, your legs felt wobbly and your heart was racing fast as you clutched the door’s knob. You took a deep breath, silently counting to ten before finally turning the handle.

“Y/N!” Heeseung was the first to greet you with his usual bright smile, wrapping you immediately with his long arms in a tight hug, not minding that he carried some bags with his hands or that they clashed against your back. His blonde hair was perfectly parted, giving a very enticing aura to his already charming presence. 

You smiled in response, warmed by his sweet embrace. By his side stood Sunghoon, his dark hair and thick brows framing his pale face perfectly. His cheeks rounded up as he gave you a shy, endearing smile before pulling you into his own hug.

“Missed you,” he muttered softly against your hair and you chuckled, squeezing him just a bit tighter before stepping back.

“You guys never come to see me, so I don’t know who’s really missing who here,” you shot back with a teasing grin, pretending to pout as you moved away from Sunghoon, almost forgetting about the third presence standing behind them in the hallway. 

After hearing their laughs and letting them in, your eyes flickered to the man awkwardly waiting for the interaction between the three of you to settle. Your breath hitched when your gaze met his, and you had to dig self control from the depths of your mind not to overreact. 

Jake was as handsome as ever.

He was casually dressed in a leather jacket over a white shirt and distressed jeans that seemed to fit him almost too perfectly. Effortlessly good, rough and soft just like your heart enjoyed, which was beating loudly in your ribcage, enough for you to fear to be heard even with the noises from the other two who had just entered your house and were greeting Jay. 

“Hey,” Jake managed to say without giving you a proper look, eyes avoiding your figure at all costs. 

“Hey,” you replied with a forced small smile, stepping back to give him space to pass through, even though there was more than enough. You felt like it would be like that the whole night: awkward and distant. And it only increased your anxiety.

As you closed the door, feet glued on the ground, you wondered if it would be harder to understand anything physics related or to deal with Jake’s presence. The only coherent answer you found was that either would be a pain in the ass, and you would be the one getting fucked at the end. Emotionally and academically. 

Watching them settling into your apartment, comfortably lounging on your couch while laughing and drinking the beer Jay served, you couldn’t help but think when exactly the whole tutoring thing would start. You waited for someone to bring it up, because although it seemed like a good idea, your inner self had doubts about your own reaction when being in a place alone with Jake and had no plans to pursue or engage it.

The couch’s armrest had never felt so awkwardly uncomfortable as you sat there, listening to the endless, nonchalant chatter around you. One of your arms rested on the back of the couch, propping up your head as your eyes shifted between Jake and the others. Whenever he caught you staring, you quickly averted your gaze, pretending to act like you weren’t a bundle of nerves just being in the same room with him.

Heeseung was the one near you, casually using your legs as a makeshift support to his own arm, and Jay sat beside him, completely indifferent to Heeseung's touchy nature – it became routine, to some extent.

Sunghoon and Jake took place on the smaller couch opposite to you, Jake smiling along to the conversation while adding his own points to the whatever story they were telling and Sunghoon laughter filling the room. 

You always found it amusing how Sunghoon seemed to be the reserved one, but when he was with his friends he was definitely the loudest.

Heeseung and you grew closer than you expected, often being the one giving you rides home, even raising some suspicions among your friends about being your boyfriend. As nice, gentle and charming he was, you never saw yourself having feelings for or even dating him.

Not when Jake was on the equation.

What?

“But hey, Jake,” Heeseung suddenly cut the topic and gave a quick squeeze on your thigh. “Weren’t you supposed to be helping Y/N with her studies?”

A cold chill immediately filled your belly and you froze in place, the smile lingering on your lips by listening to their funny chatter fading slowly as you lifted your gaze to Jake. Heeseung was innocently asking, but it caused your stomach to flip a whole 360, and the room was now dividing looks between you two.

You watched as Jake’s expression faltered for just a moment, then quickly returned to his usual easy going demeanor. Before he said anything in response, Jay took the front of it.

“Oh, that’s right,” Jay said, leaning back into the couch with a teasing grin. “I asked you to help my sister, not come here to drink my beer and lounge on my expensive couch.”

You wanted to sink into the floor, or at least disappear. Jake shifted uncomfortably, the smallest hint of a smile on his lips though you could clearly tell he was faking it. Jay’s obliviousness only made it worse, as if he couldn’t even sense the awkwardness between you and Jake.

There was no blame on him, though, especially because no one expected any type of tension between any of you. 

You shot a quick glance at Jake again, who was avoiding your gaze once more, and all of a sudden the room felt too small, too crowded, as if the space around you was closing in, sinking you deep into a pool of anxiety. 

“You don’t have to bother, really,” your voice filled the room, words waving weirdly in the air. You let out a mild chuckle, pushing yourself from your seating to stand up. “I’ll go to my room, so you guys can hang–”

“Hey, no way,” Jay interrupted your attempt of running away, frowning and lifting his beer bottle to point it at you, yet blind to the real atmosphere unfolding. “Don’t try to escape from physics, kiddo.”

Heeseung’s small snort followed Jay's words, giving you teasing glinted eyes before remarking, his lips against his beer bottle. “Yeah, Y/N. You’ve been avoiding it for God’s know how long.” 

Somehow Heeseung’s choice of words seemed to light up a strange feeling in your chest, as if he was reading beyond reality, slightly aware of the you and Jake situation – to begin with, there was no you and Jake situation. No way he would say that about your relationship with physics alone. Anyway, your cheeks warmed instantly, your eyes wavering to any other place rather than the rest of the people sharing that abruptly small space with you.

“I think the kitchen is far enough for you both,” Sunghoon quickly added with a relaxed nod, sipping on his beer. “We promise not to be loud, yeah?” He smirked, completely aware he was the loudest in the house so far. 

You chuckled, switching your weight on your foot. “I can’t believe it when you’re the one saying it,” you teased back, eliciting an immediate laugh from Sunghoon. “But yeah, the kitchen seems to be an okay place. Besides, there’s food and I can totally escape from physics or whatever with food,” you shot Jay a playful grin, quirking an eyebrow, challenging. 

“Don’t you dare.” Jay said firmly, but not really. You knew he was nothing but a worried brother about your mental health and how your academic performance affected it, wishing to give you only the best.

Unfortunately, the best in his vision wasn’t necessarily the best you needed at that moment. 

Jake finally stood up, fixing his clothes as he did so, running his fingers through his thick hair and glancing at you; your eyes tracked his every movement, the sinking feeling in your stomach tightening with the view. He was so damn hot. 

“The kitchen it is, then.”

You nodded, swallowing the lump of nervousness in your throat that came back in a strike, after reminding you would be spending quite a long time alone with Jake, having nowhere to run nor anything to calm down your fluttering heart.

Your legs betrayed you, feeling weak under the pressure of the situation. Still, you forced yourself to move, muttering a quiet “I’ll go grab my books,” before rushing off towards your room.

As you came back, hands shaking and mouth dry, you headed straight to the kitchen wishing to have some more time alone to organize your thoughts, gather yourself and regain your senses before calling Jake. Unexpectedly, he was already there, sitting stiffly on the chair he chose while his slender fingers rapidly danced on his phone screen, unaware of your presence.

Your entire body froze, your plan going down the drain right away. You bit your lower lip, a soft, involuntary action that seemed to be the only thing holding you together in that moment. You had to keep moving forward. You had to. But you couldn’t. Not when Jake was just… there.

A glimpse of a smirk curved the corner of his oh, so plush, distracting lips, glistening under the kitchen’s light while his attention was all on his phone, clearly chatting with someone. Girlfriend? The thought crossed your mind briefly; a man like Jake was probably taken already, and, to be honest, a small part of you almost hoped for it to be true, so you could stop torturing yourself over your silly feelings for him and really move on.

But Jake didn’t ease your side, cheeky tongue every so often playing with the corner of his mouth, teeth pressing his plump bottom lip, and from where you stood you could see his pretty eyelashes fluttering with each blink, oblivious to the effect he was causing on you, oblivious to the storm happening inside your chest.

With a loud and sudden laugh his body jolted, phone slipping from his hands and clattering onto the table as he threw his head back, one of his hands messily running through his silk brown strands out of habit.

Only then he noticed you, standing up in the kitchen’s door, hugging your books, clearly staring. 

“Holy fuck, Y/N!” He blurted out, a hand flying to his chest as if to steady himself, his puppy eyes widened to you, shoulders clearly tensed. “You scared the shit out of me!”

“I–I’m sorry,” you stuttered, stepping further into the room and trying to sound casual, as if you weren’t watching him from the past seconds with your heart almost ripping your ribcage open. “Didn’t mean to.”

Jake took a second to regain his composure and his eyes involuntarily lingered on your figure longer than he wanted to, nearly shamelessly tracing the lines of your body; the soft curve of your bare shoulders, how your spaghetti strap top appealed to evidentiate your collarbone and tightened just enough on your chest. Then he paid attention to your pretty fingers clutching the edges of your notebook and books, lowering to the tiny bit of exposed skin of your belly, then your beautiful hips and covered legs. 

You had chosen a comfortable outfit, not giving a thought about appearance at all – after all, not only the boys had seen you way worse, but the night’s plans gravitated towards studying and studying only.

Even so, Jake had to hold himself back. There was something about the way your clothes hugged your form that had him silently disorientated, heart faltering some beats and breath hardly passing through his airways, his own body heating just by visualizing you.

He cleared his throat, glancing down to fidget with his phone as a way to ground himself, breaking the tension settled thickly between you two. The small sound brought you out of the daze you got yourself into without realizing it.

“So…” Jake finally said, his voice a bit unsteady and lower than you expected. “Where do you want to start?”

His sweet eyes lifted to meet yours again, and his usual easy smile had a hint of something more cautious, more careful, as he focused on your adorable wide-eyed expression. He noticed your cheeks with a faint blush and couldn’t hold back a little grin when you diverted your eyes shyly. 

You slid into the seat across him, sprawling your materials over the table with a quiet sigh, your eyes anxiously avoiding Jake’s.

“I have no idea.” You admitted, letting out a nervous chuckle, struggling to soothe your nerves. “The basics?” You added unsurely and Jake was fast to nod tenderly.

Though he was dealing with a lot in his mind, he would always have a soft spot for you. 

“Basics, yeah. Sounds great.” He agreed with a small smile, carefully reaching out your notebook and opening to scan your notes. 

A wave of embarrassment flushed over you as you remembered the stupid things you wrote during your classes, fighting your demons trying to understand at least the bare minimum, scribbles that hardly made sense, and that now probably got you looking extra dumb and childish under Jake’s judgment.

You heard him humming before grabbing one of your books, his fingers brushing yours quietly and quickly as he did so. You ignored the burst of electricity induced by that simple touch, watching how his slender fingers casually flipped the pages until he reached the one he was searching for.

“You know, I can explain this easily to you,” Jake began to talk, his voice dropping to an unexpected gentle teacher-like tone as he leaned over the table a little, enough to get closer to you, enough to have your stomach twisting and flipping to every direction possible with the warmth his body radiated. “Just don’t mind me if I get too technical sometimes.”

“No problem,” you managed to say, grateful your voice was steady enough for you not to sound stupid or squealed, your eyes glued to your handwriting, tracing the lines of each word as a way of desperately dodging the possibility of meeting Jake’s gaze.

Even the faintest peek of his furrowed brow when he was focused was enough to make you melt, and he had no idea of how attractive he looked when he was all serious and devoted explaining his nerd things.

“Promise me you’ll tell me if you stop following me, alright?” He added, a smile tugging at his lips that you only saw by the corner of your eyes. 

You nodded quickly, swallowing hard; the scent of his cologne was flooding your senses, drawing you in closer, making it harder to think straight.

“Okay,” you replied, quiet and breathlessly.

For the following few minutes Jake explained the concepts slowly, his voice calm and steady as he walked you through the basics, but your head kept drifting your attention away, deeply engaged with the way his gorgeous fingers traced the lines of your textbook. The following thoughts were too dirty to even continue with.

Jake had that familiar Australian accent that naturally made you weak, and now, combined with the way he had softened his tone, speaking so close to your face, it was enough to drive you completely insane. You couldn’t focus on anything but how his warm breath traveled gently, brushing against the sensitive skin of your cheeks, increasing your fluster.

Your heart raced. It raced far too quickly.

The realization of how your body was reacting brought back memories of the times Jake had caused similar sensations in the past, back when he treated you with that older-brother tenderness and you would instantly overreact, shivering at his subtle touches, stuttering whenever his gaze landed on you with his usual captivating smile.

It was undeniable that something had shifted at some point; once there was the slight possibility of getting something more from him, no more holding “Jay's little sister's” place. You couldn’t quite grasp what happened or understand what had triggered such a sudden change, especially since you couldn’t recall having done anything wrong.

Your mind kept drifting away from the materials in front of you. Physics was never your thing, and in that very moment no amount of effort could make it so.

Not when Jake was all over you; in your head, by your side, overwhelming your senses.

Every so often his gaze flicked back to you, expecting to see your attentive, engaged expression, and consequently catching the way you chewed on your lower lip or absentmindedly twirled a pen between your fingers with furrowed brows. 

You had tied your hair in a bun as some strands began to fall over your face, working as a distraction – you were already surrounded with an overwhelming distraction, there was no need for more. That simple act had Jake stuttering, fumbling amidst his words and losing track of his thoughts as the hairstyle gave him the privilege to see your bare, beautiful and kissable neck. 

His hands tingled, urging to touch you there. Would you like to be choked?

Ok, that definitely wasn’t physics. 

Jake fell silent, swallowing hard as you leaned forward to see the drawing he was just explaining, thinking the delay was intentional. When no words came from his mouth and the air suddenly grew thicker, your eyes followed the trail from his fingers to his veiny hands, from his covered torso to his face, hovering longer on how clenched his sharp jaw was and how his Adam’s apple bobbed nervously.

You shot a questioning look, blinking innocently with brows raised just slightly. 

Jake wavered under your curious, yet somehow intense gaze, averting it immediately in order to regain his conscious back. Your lips had pursed into a small pout that did nothing to help his way out of his messy head.

Everything he could think about was how bad he wanted to kiss you.

“Something’s wrong?” Your velvety voice enveloped the room, a naive question with a supposedly simple answer that got caught in Jake’s throat.

Jake never saw you as a potential partner or lover, let alone as an object of his desire. 

You were Jay’s little sister that he cared for as if his own. He saw you grow up, he watched you achieving your goals and got inspired by your strength to overcome the toxic place you had to call a house. Jake cherished your relationship with Jay, grateful for both of you having each other, and that was pretty much you to him.

Even in those times when he treated you to ice cream and snacks during his college breaks, when he visited his parents back home, he kept you in a certain specific spot in his life – something close to family.

He loved to tease you, exactly like a mischievous older brother, laughing when you tripped, when your mouth was stained with chocolate, or when you fumbled through words while talking about your school crush.

Jake had always seen you as a younger sister he needed to look out for.

Until you grew up.

He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when the switch happened, when he stopped seeing you as a little girl he had to tease and began noticing you as a ridiculously attractive woman, but seeing you in person after two years definitely played a role in that.

Jake had been your closest company through your first two years of high school, filling the role of an older brother, a place Jay couldn’t quite manage to fill because of his own study and work demands, unwillingly. 

During your last year of high school you stopped seeing Jake, as he had gotten caught up in the same cycle as your brother: studying and working. And you completely understood, knowing that soon enough you would be in a similar place.

Then you graduated and started your own college journey, and Jake, deep into his own responsibilities, went another year without seeing you.

It was at the beginning of your sophomore year in college that you two crossed paths again – at a party when Jay finally agreed to take you with him, after much persistence on your part.

Jake froze.

Jake quite literally forgot how to breathe, forgot how to blink, how to properly work as a human the moment his eyes landed on you, stunning in a short, wine-colored dress, casually holding a drink in your hand.

Jake didn’t remember your body looking anything like that, used to seeing you in casual, loose clothing rather than that fitted, short dress that framed your thighs so perfectly, drawing his hungry gaze to stare as a starved man, with a subtle neckline that hinted at the curve of your chest.

Hot.

That was all he could think. Until he realized it was you.

He remembered it vividly: watching you from behind as you danced, immediately struck by how attractive that random woman seemed to be. But as his gaze traveled upward and found your face, he froze, utterly overwhelmed with shock and panic. Especially when you noticed him looking, shooting a cute, surprised smile and a little wave, almost as if you were going to come over.

To say he ran away from there was close to an euphemism, rushing over the bathroom within a lame excuse thrown at his friends before heading back home after using the bar’s back door as his way out.

The walk home was painful. Jake’s head was filled with nasty thoughts that made him completely unable to disable it from happening, swirling around in a dirty carousel. 

Jake felt like a naughty, filthy pervert. You were Jay’s little sister. The one he played innocently with, hung out countless times without the slightest thought of having you as a true woman; and if the thought ever crossed his mind, he would feel disgusted, because it made no sense and was wrong.

So, the only way to overcome your effect on him was to ignore you at every possible opportunity, not expecting you to care that much about it.

It was a stupid choice, an asshole one even. You used to be friends and now he would rather choose to be eaten by a bear than see you up close and act normal.

Jay’s sudden plan of asking for his help was the start of his downfall for you, and now he was dealing with the consequences of his previous decisions. 

“Jakey?”

The nickname. The fucking nickname you last called him years ago, now sounding even mellow and sweeter, yet as sultry as ever. Jake wondered how would it be to have you underneath him, moaning his name as if your life depended on it with his dick buried deep into your cunt.

“Y–Yeah?” 

Jake immediately damned himself for the stutter, afraid of being too obvious with his nervous reaction. He made the mistake of looking at you, trying to act as normal as possible, and somehow his brain managed to picture your oh, so cute eyes fluttering close as he pleasured you.

His face heated instantly, as if fire was being spread all over his skin. His body was hot as hell, the loosen pants now not so comfortable as before, tightening on his crotch area.

“What happened?”

You nonchalantly touched his covered forearm as you asked, concern written all over your face as you struggled to understand what was happening. Jake's abrupt reaction of moving away from your soft hands startled you a little, your head cocking to the side as you frowned, reading Jake’s widened and panicked eyes.

Unaware of the real deal, oblivious to the torrent of emotions and feelings dancing inside Jake’s head and chest, you started to feel really annoyed.

Was Jake slipping back into that strange, sudden habit of ignoring you, like he had been since you had started crossing paths again?

There was no plausible explanation for his reaction. The two of you used to go out together all the time, comfortable touches being a natural part of your relationship – especially since Jake was almost ridiculously clingy with his close friends. 

When the whole ‘avoiding you’ situation first started you were very confused and questioned what you did wrong. Then you grew mad and eventually got over it since you had no contact at all with Jake throughout the following months, nearly forgetting his existence. 

But now you had to face it all again, confronting the feelings you once went through; a familiar bitter blend of anger and hurt. It stung like reopening a wound you thought it healed. Exposed, sensitive, vulnerable, bringing back memories you hoped to erase.

“Nothing happen–”

“Why did you stop talking to me?”

Your interruption was as abrupt as Jake’s reaction to your close presence earlier. He noticed the spark of rage flashing your two orbs suddenly, causing him to blink, caught off guard, eyes widening even bigger if it was possible, trying to understand what you just had hit him with.

“Huh?”

You let out a frustrated huff before repeating yourself even more mad, your hands traveling to your hair fix some random strands as an anxious fidgeting habit to ground you. 

“You started to ignore and avoid me. Did I do something wrong? Did I piss you off?”

Jake was taken aback with your outburst of questions, lips parted, words caught somewhere down his throat. There was something close to a knot pressing the back of his tongue that made it hard to speak steadily.

“What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean, Jake.” You sighed, expression softening just slightly, studying his face. “We used to hang out. We were friends, even.”

Jake exhaled, biting his lip as a way to hold back his words. If he let it all out, he would scare you so fucking bad. 

“Yes, when you were younger.”

“What changed?”

You saw how his shoulders tensed, his neck moving as he swallowed hard, demonstrating to feel flustered under your inquisitive gaze. His eyes dropped to his lap, where one of his hands rested comfortably. He dug the depths of his thoughts to keep it as safe and subtle as possible, not wanting to pour it all on you.

“I... I always saw you as a little sister. That’s how I looked at you, like family.”

You nodded along, following his soft-spoken speech. You didn't understand what exactly he was aiming for with it so far, so you let him continue, hoping it would bring a closure for your relationship to blossom again.

“But then–” He hesitated, eyes flickering up to you and then drifting away. His voice dropped an octave as he added. “I got overwhelmed with my last year in college and eventually with my work. So I didn't have time to see you often. Life just got… Busy.”

Deep down he knew you wouldn’t buy his lame explanation. However, didn’t stop him from holding tightly the small string of hope you would let it pass. 

At the same time, he had a tingling feeling telling him to blurt out everything he went through when you were the subject. How hard it was to act normal when Jay talked about you, to not get hard seeing your cute instagram pictures, not picture himself getting lost in the middle of your plush thighs. 

God, you worked him up too easily.

“I get that part, I really do,” you replied, boldly and kind of unconsciously placing your hand on top of Jake's. This time he didn’t flinch, taking in your soft, innocent touch. Still, his breath hitched. “But when I moved here, you started avidly avoiding me,” you continued, voice dropping to something near a whisper as your fingers traced delicate patterns on the back of his hand. “You’d ignore me at parties, never stopping by to visit. I just didn’t understand.”

Jake shifted uncomfortably on his seat, embarrassed of your accurate analysis.

“The visiting part is Jay's fault. He was the one who suggested for him to go to our house instead of us three coming over here. Just… Making things easier, I guess.”

“That makes sense,” you murmured, pulling your hand away as you realized the weight of the intimacy, afraid of being too weird. “But the avoiding and ignoring me… It doesn't make any.”

Jake closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep sigh. There were no more ways to run away from the topic; his weak excuses had long been overrun by the intensity of your pressing curiosity. You were ready to dig deep and uncover the truth at any cost. Jake knew you well enough to expect this – your persistence, your determination, your stubbornness were traits he had always admired in you and your brother.

“I’m sorry.”

“If you can explain why you’re sorry, maybe I’ll accept it,” you challenged, arching a brow and immediately grabbing his attention. You knew Jake’s competitive side and loved to play with it as a coaxing manner to get what you wanted.

You watched his eyes wavering just enough to make you wonder if your tactic would work that time. But then, he chuckled dryly, blinking away from your awaiting expression.

“I’m sorry for acting like that, Y/N.” He started. “I– I panicked,” his voice was subtle as a feather. If you weren’t alone and far from the noise happening in your living room, you doubt you would be able to hear it clearly. 

“Panicked?” you echoed, confusion knitting your brow, your head tilting just slightly. “Over what?”

Jake’s face turned a deeper shade of red, especially on his cheeks and on the top of his ears. You got even more puzzled, especially after he answered with just a single word.

“You.”

You. 

It hung in the heavy air as thick as a volcano’s smoke, deepening your confusion, your heart starting to beat faster and your hands getting sweaty. 

“Me? What do you mean?”

You didn't expect your voice to sound so quiet as you spoke, but you got somehow caught by surprise with how things turned out. 

So you really did something wrong?

“You… grew up, Y/N. You’re–” He struggled to find the right words, shifting uncomfortably once more, his eyes traveling between the floor, the table and his lap, never daring to look into your eyes. “I’m sorry, but you’re beautiful. And… more than that. You’re… You’re hot.”

An awkward and tense silence filled the room right after Jake’s stained voice trailed off at the end of his sentence, as if he wished he could swallow them back together with the knot on his throat.

Now that he had just verbalized the main reason for his behavior towards you, he was feeling extremely disgusting and pathetic. He could feel the weight of his own shame pressing down, and an almost nauseating guilt pushing at him; a reminder he was wrong for allowing you to go out from the safe and special spot as a “little sister” in his heart, to occupy a darker and more lustful one.

It wasn’t your fault, though. Jake would never in his life blame you for a mistake he had authorized to happen. This wasn’t just a fleeting, harmless slip; he had seen you, had filthy thoughts before fully realizing it was you. And afterwards he did nothing much to stop those thoughts from creeping back in, the only option being avoiding you instead of facing it as a true man.

He swallowed hard once more – becoming a natural habit at that point – and forced himself to look up for a brief moment. All he saw was your stunned expression, mouth slightly agape and eyes apparently trying to search for some kind of joke, to which it only fueled the growing dread inside him.

Jake’s mind was a spiral. The fragile line he had been teetering about you began to fall apart as he realized that you would probably cut him off completely, screaming at him the words he deserved to hear. 

A creepy, weird and disgusting man. 

His pulse quickened, panic creeping in with every second that you didn’t speak, an urge to break the silence immediately, as if maintaining his being in it would drive him completely insane. With that in mind, he opened his mouth to babble.

“I– I don’t expect you to understand. God, I wouldn’t even blame you if you decide to never speak to me again. I’m sure– I’m sure we can arrange an excuse to Jay about your study, or even tell the truth– I’m–” He cut himself briefly to look away from you, who still had your same expression. His hands were busy gesturing anxiously. “I know I crossed a very dangerous line. It’s so fucking wrong and– And I’ve tried to come up with anything to push it away, even ignore it. But then, there’s you.”

Jake’s voice faltered, as though his world was colliding, ending, as though he was on the verge of losing his mind somehow. 

He was.

“There’s always you, looking like some kind of goddess that makes me go insane.”

The realization of what you just heard made your pulse quicken. Jake’s babbling worked perfectly to ground you and, ironically enough, to send you back to heaven, as you felt like dreaming after hearing his first sayings. 

Over the years you thought about having Jake in other ways rather than just a friend or an older brother, but never quite grasping to it completely due to the small, yet existing age gap and the different stages of life drifting you apart. 

To acknowledge how Jake really felt towards you was similar to living in a vivid fever dream, it got you clenching your thighs, panties pathetically dampening just enough to make you shy, as if he would become aware of your body reacting to his words.

You opened your mouth to respond, to try to find any words that could make sense in between the mess of emotions happening inside you; relief, desire, passion. But before you could even begin, a familiar voice cut through the tension, as sharp as a knife, startling both of you as if you had been caught red-handed.

“How's study going?”

After Jay broke into your studying session with Jake and consequently interrupted the development of your newfound possibility of relationship with the said guy, you couldn’t help but dive into a sea of frustration. 

Jake immediately panicked and ran away, muttering a lame excuse that he had things to take care of and he would catch up with you later, leaving you sitting there, bewildered, confused and angry – with him and with you brother, who even though had no fault, shattered your chances to voice out your side of the story and maybe, just maybe, get Jake to your bedroom.

Jay didn’t flinch a little, aware of how Jake could be impulsive and random with his spontaneous persona and let him go, smiling softly to you after gently stroking your hair and ask if you wanted to relax with him and the remaining guys, thinking you could use some of it after the long minutes you spent studying. 

You were quick to dismiss the offer, seizing the opportunity to excuse yourself to your room, pretending to be really tired and to need some time alone after reading so much physics hard stuff.

However, as you crashed into your bed and stuffed your head into the soft pillow, your body didn’t feel like soothing any time soon, your brain working overtime to remark each and every word uttered by Jake, his low voice as clear as crystal water as it repeated restlessly. 

You’re hot. A goddess. Makes me go insane. 

That night, you met a brand new and nameless sensation. It was close to frustration but layered with the tempting awareness of something you could nearly touch, yet not claim.

Jake ran away, as he always did, without even giving you the proper chance to tell him that, God, you felt the same – perhaps even worse.

His mere act of voicing those genuine, sultry words had already done enough to ruin your self-control – and panties, taking away the opportunity to express just how incredibly irresistible he looked, how you longed to devour every centimeter of his slightly sun-kissed skin, to taste his plush lips, to make him wholly yours.

You asked for Jake's number to Jay the next day, under the pretext of needing to get some extra materials and maybe schedule your following meetings, hoping for it to be reasonable enough. And though Jay willingly accepted and supported your idea, Jake partially ignored you, at most answering your texts with “ok” and “sure”, never leaving an opening for you to draw him into a longer conversation.

So when Jay served you a stack of pancakes on Monday, you expected everything to happen but what really unfolded. 

“I scheduled another study session with Jake today. That cool with you?”

The forkful bringing you a piece of your food froze midair, the assimilation of what Jay’s just said made your movements halt shamefully instantly as you raised your eyes only enough to encounter Jay’s relaxed face.

“Mhm?”

“Jake’s coming over after work today,” Jay repeated casually, munching his food. “I think he gets off around four, so he’ll be here when you’re back from your classes.”

Ok, you definitely – and unfortunately – had heard him right. A spark of excitement and an urge to get yourself dressed extra prettily for college rushed over your body as you straightened your posture on your chair, using of a simple nod to silent agree with the deal.

You feared your words would get stuck on your throat.

“Oh, and I’ll be working from home today, so you won’t be alone with him.”

All the efforts were made for you not to choke on your food, but the honey sauce dripping straight down your throat elicited a quiet, small cough from you. You gulped down whatever was on your way to voice out anything, and all you managed was to mutter a confused “Huh?”

Jay smirked at your reaction, but not really reading into it.

“You know, just in case,” he shrugged nonchalantly and your brow furrowed, stomach twisting with nervousness.

“Just in case of what, exactly?”

You damned yourself for using such a fearful tone, like a frightened kid that had hidden a secret from their parents, leaving gaps for an overinterpretation that Jay could try doing if he was devoted to completely understanding the strange way you were acting.

You deeply wondered if he knew about whatever happened with you and Jake that Friday, or worse, if he eavesdropped on Jake's confession about how he felt about you.

It wasn’t like Jay would be fine with Jake coming over if he did in fact know or heard the conversation. And knowing your brother, he would rather have a civilized and polite conversation with you instead of playing around. 

“I don’t know, Y/N,” Jay started, a glint of mischief twinkling in his eyes. “You hate physics and I called Jake to come teach physics to you. The other day, you were kneading that pizza dough like it owed you money. Don’t know what you’d do to someone who’s a walking physics encyclopedia.”

Your pulse quickened, but your shoulders loosened. Gladly, Jay had already moved on the subject, unbothered, yapping about how he preferred doing his job from home and how annoying it was to deal with paperwork in person. All you could do was to nod along, anxiously counting the minutes.

With almost absolute certainty, none of your classes that day could hold your attention. And so it was. The professors' words seemed like random sound waves, failing to form coherent sentences for you, and you had to fight the constant urge to get up from your chair and leave, even though you knew Jake wouldn't be there yet.

Mondays were exhausting. You had to attend multiple classes, and especially that day there were practical lectures that kept you stuck on campus later than usual. By the end of the day, despite the exhaustion, you were still buzzing with anticipation.

You practically ran back to the apartment you shared with your brother, trying not to make too much effort and break a sweat – after all, you wouldn't have time for a shower or to get dressed properly before seeing Jake.

You felt like a teenager nervously preparing to meet her crush in the hallways between classes; your hands were trembling, your whole body thrilling with excitement, as if each part of you was electrified with anticipation.

Your heart pounded relentlessly, as if each beat echoed louder than the last, straight into your eardrums. The closer you got to your shared apartment, the harder it became to calm your racing thoughts, and the overwhelming mix of excitement and nervousness almost made you dizzy when you grabbed the door knob and twisted it open. 

Jake was sprawled on your couch, golden specs casually resting on his face and his brown, silky hair poking to different places since he was playing with it nonchalantly while the other hand held his phone. His eyes raised up from the screen when he heard the sound of the door opening, and with a subtle smile he greeted you.

“Hi, Y/N.” 

Your gaze instinctively hovered across the room, searching for Jay’s presence. At the same time, you fought against the urge to make yourself comfortable with Jake on your couch. He looked so inviting, cozy and fluffy laying in there, his demeanor soft and relaxed, nearly pulling you close, drifting your thoughts away from reality.

It took seconds for it to hit harshly, as you remembered the intimacy that had once been so natural between the two of you no longer existed, and the possibility of reclaiming that closeness felt slightly out of reach. It was a bitter thought, one that reminded you how fragile things had become.

However, for Jake’s misfortune you weren’t one to give up so easily, now aware of his feelings and thoughts towards you, there was no way to back down so quickly. Not knowing he nourished a desire strong enough to make him opt to avoid you in order to get over it. 

“He’s in his office room,” Jake explained when noticed what you were doing, kindly breaking you out of your trance.

“Oh,” you mumbled, nodding awkwardly. Jake sat straight on the couch, eyes boldly locking into yours as he did so.

You licked your lips out of habit, a bit taken aback with the idea of being in a room alone with him again, the anxiety you had built up throughout the day exploding in your chest just like fireworks.

The slightest motion of your tongue dragging along your plump, cherry colored lips didn’t go unnoticed by Jake’s nervous gaze. His eyes flickered downwards right after, and you silently cheered when he took his time to appreciate your bare thighs in full display for him. 

You had chosen an outfit that was simple yet comfortable, but also bold, different from what you had planned for the day before knowing you would spend time with Jake; a relatively oversized sweater that would protect you from the gentle breeze of the day, paired with a short skirt that highlighted your rounded thighs – thighs you knew Jake would enjoy seeing.

And he so fucking did. The way he parted his lips, swallowed nothing, and shifted uncomfortably on his seat confirmed your theory. 

Jake’s cheeks warmed when he realized what he just did, checking you out carelessly and right in front of your beautiful eyes. He cleared his throat, ready to throw some random small talk to guide the situation to the real deal – the whole studying thing –, but you had other plans. 

“I’m not mad.” 

After years sharing moments with Jake, having him practically living in your house similar to a family member, you had gathered enough sources to know Jake was torturing himself with a guilt you didn’t see to be necessary, not when you desired him as much as he wanted you, not when things could be as simple as one plus one. 

Jake was smart enough to catch onto what you were referring to, still, he hesitated, quirking an eyebrow in disbelief. He remained silent, waiting for your following words when you opened your mouth and closed, as though struggling to find the best, right ones. 

Your feet moved towards his direction and you took the seat beside him, keeping a safe distance. A distance that would keep yourself under control not to jump on his lap, tug his hair with your hands while kissing him passionately, using your hips to rut onto his bulge, aiming to hear his lascivious noises.

Swallowing your impulsive thoughts back, deep on your throat, you continued. 

“I’m not mad that you…” Holding back a shy smile, you bit your lip. “I’m not mad that you think I’m hot.”

Your voice came out as quiet as possible. The fleeting sensation of being heard by your brother weighed heavy on the air, pushing you to keep it as hushed as you could. 

Once more, Jake shifted on his seat, his own fluster increasing after hearing you voicing out his last confession. He didn’t feel stupid, though. It was impossible to feel anything other than thrilled.

He couldn’t pinpoint precisely what turn that conversation with you would be taking; the small hint of fear creeped his chest, but the excitement of positively reading the situation was deliciously overgrowing it. 

“But we have to talk…” You tried to sound firm, yet gentle, not wanting to scare him away. The way your eyes rested on his face made Jake’s heart skip a beat. You were so fucking beautiful. “You know, I didn’t tell you about my part in this story.”

Jake felt his body untensing with your relaxed, tempting even, words; the atmosphere heavy but not with anything bad. It felt suffocating in the bestest way possible, as if a hundred of amazing possibilities could unfold, each of them having your lips pressing against his as a starter and his dick buried deep in you as a finisher.

“Do we?” Jake tilted his head to the side, eyes gleaming with teasing after the realization. The same behavior he would have with you was brought back in a snap, nonetheless, you doubted your strength to deal with it, especially when his two brown orbs showed a hint of something darker.  

“Yes.”

A quiet, feather-like whisper. It was all you managed to say, failing to keep up with your steady, collected image.

“Okay, we can talk,” he nodded softly, and though his eyes showed affection, the faint smirk adorning the corner of his lips triggered your inner core to pleasantly twist.

Jake leaned closer, now relaxed before your presence; your compliant demeanor easing his way through it, taunting his bolder side to shine brighter. Your breath hitched when his eyes wandered your face carefully, his body nearly pressing yours as he drank in your perfect features before gently grabbing your chin to pull you closer.

He was centimeters away from touching you where you needed him the most – firstly. Because your entire being craved for him. 

“But unfortunately, I have to teach you physics before, pretty.”

That was how you ended up sitting at your desk after announcing your arrival to your brother, saying you would be with Jake in your bedroom for studies purposes.

Bullshit.

Jake brought an extra chair to sit by your side, and you truly made double effort to keep your focus on whatever he was explaining, but his words sounded slurred, vague, like a baby talk. His voice and accent were unnecessarily attractive, inducing your head to concentrate on its sounds instead of the meaning. Not to mention his fucking kissable lips, so, so, so close, yet so far. 

Each time your eyes darted to the side, you caught a glimpse of his side profile. Distracting, beautiful, captivating.

Jake had a nose you swore it was sculpted by the finest, most talented artist; sharp and smooth just right, softly curved at the tip, gorgeously displayed on his handsome face. That high bridge triggered your most profound and dirty thoughts, your eyes dropping to a darker shade almost instantly as you got drunk on his features. 

Jake’s whole being was attractive, tempting, a living demon who now taunted your worst behavior and you loved every bit of it. Alongside that, the unveiling situation between the two of you was eating you alive, slowly consuming your mind.

After the little study session you agreed on talking about the dangerously unspoken matter, with the hope of resolving things. On your bed, if you were lucky.

You wanted to have Jake’s hands exploring your body, gripping and pulling you closer, pressing you against the mattress while fucking you from behind, hard, deep, fast, whatever he decided to. You needed his lips marking your neck, his face stuffed between your legs, his mouth working on your pussy while you screamed his name. 

You could almost feel how his tongue would work perfectly in your clit, licking, sucking and–

“And that’s how thermodynamics works. It’s amazing, isn’t it?” 

You blinked confused towards Jake, feeling just a little bad for not really enjoying your private lessons as much as he was. It was cute to see how talkative he became whenever physics was the topic, and extremely hot to witness his smart brain working in full motion to explain every word to you.

Nonetheless your attention span was long gone, ever since his scent started to intoxicate your senses, making you wish to have it all over your skin with his body hovering yours. 

“But of course you’d be paying more attention to my lips and my nose.”

You widened your eyes, speechless. Jake clicked his tongue, shaking his head in a faux discontentment. You trembled on your seat, unconsciously moving back from the closeness of your bodies; there was a fear creeping in your head of losing your inner battle to the raw passion tingling your skin.

“Listen, Y/N. I’m really trying here. I’d appreciate it if you did some effort too.” 

Jake was once again teetering the same risky line, this time with less hesitation, his confidence bubbling as he realized you wouldn't be pushing him away.

The moment he caught your hungry your devouring him throughout the entire tutoring, how willingly to let him in you seemed to be, devoted to the idea of fucking under your brother’s roof, he threw his self control away and started to think with his other head. 

You gulped, eyes lowering to your notebook peacefully resting on your desk. 

“I’m sorry, Jake.”

“Y’know what?” Jake suddenly stood up, offering his hand with his gorgeous slender fingers full of silver rings for you to grab. “Com’ere.” 

Your squinted eyes flickered between his digits and his face, searching for some proper explanation that unfortunately you didn't receive. So you followed his steps, standing up as well and shivering with the touch of his mildly cold skin against yours.

With the way Jake grinned, your stomach tightened, fearing whatever he had on his mind. Trying not to be so obvious with your embarrassing reactions, you frowned.

“What are we doi–”

“The first law in thermodynamics is that energy can’t be destroyed or created, it can only change forms.”

He said his speech within his teacher-like tone once more, interrupting you without caring to explain why standing up and explaining it to you again would make the material magically settle inside your brain.

Especially when you wanted to settle on your bed with him on top of you.

“What the f–”

“So, if I do this,” Jake raised a hand, gently placing it on your right cheek. You winced and retracted a bit with the unexpected soft brush of his slightly cold skin on your, now, heated face. “Do you feel it?” He whispered, fingertips tracing the warm flesh underneath his touch, his body instinctively getting closer to yours as his eyelids softened. “The heat of your skin will work its way to make mine less cold, y’know? Mine is absorbing from yours, to stabilize our temperatures together. The energy isn’t being destroyed nor created, it’s transferred from one body to another until they find the perfect equilibrium.”

It was pathetic the way you nodded along, Jake’s words and presence reverberating throughout your body similar to a wave of pure pleasure, your eyes sparkling with a mix of curiosity and shock with this new method. 

So, physics can be interesting, huh?

“Now,” Jake got closer, his voice dropping an octave while the hand that held yours found comfort on your waist, eliciting an immediate gasp from you. “Question: what happens when two equally heated bodies touch each other?” 

Jake’s face was just a few centimeters away from yours, his lips ghosting, tempting a kiss you wished to happen as soon as possible; he seemed to be testing the waters, glad that you allowed him to do so.

The way his warm breath tickled your skin was dizzying, yet addictive. You shivered, respiration quickening with the way Jake’s eyes dropped, almost closing, as he got charmed by your soft, plump and oh, so kissable lips.

There was no adequate explanation to how your body reflexively reacted to his stimulus, your hands traveling slowly to grip onto something as a way to ground yourself, finding the thin fabric of Jake’s shirt on your way through it. 

“Nothing–” You gulped when you started talking, because the simple motion had your lips grazing Jake’s. He nodded reassuringly, as a way to incite you to keep speaking, the grip on his shirt tightening. “Nothing changes.”

Your eyes lazily fluttered close and open, the tension nearly palpable in the air. Out of habit, you wetted your lips with your tongue; a habit that now got you brushing it against Jake’s lips as well. His breath hitched, surprised, but he didn’t stutter. 

“Yeah,” Jake muttered, letting his hand thread through your strands, tugging it gently. You moaned softly, lips parted, a small frown gracing your features. 

Jake drunkenly groaned, throwing caution and patience aside with your reaction. Fuck, his self control was down to hell and for seconds he forgot where he was, because you were everything and everywhere in his head. 

He could feel how tight his pants became as his dick twitched for some attention, hard and heavy.

“You’re a quick learner when there’s practice involved, aren’t you?”

Jake’s lips were now grazing featherly on the sensitive flesh of your neck, teasing to kiss but never truly giving in.

You didn’t even notice how much you were leaning into his touch, as within every tempting brush on your skin you melted deeper, growing impatient each passing second.

Your fingers boldly slipped underneath his shirt, tracing the subtle lines of the abs you dreamed of licking and kissing and sucking and… God, you were on the verge of crying out of desperation. Your fingernails dug harder into his skin, eliciting a jolt from Jake that immediately pressed you against himself in response.

“Please, Jakey–” You whimpered when you felt his hardened bulge poking you, together with – finally – his wet kisses on your neck, nibbling gently the area with an aching slow.

Jake chuckled in contact with your sensitive skin, loving the way you tilted your head to give him more access, loving the way you were needily pressing yourself on his body, loving the way your hands involved his waist firmly; goosebumps flushed over as he delighted in your sweet and lascivious noises and responses. 

A phantom of a smirk tugged the corner of Jake’s glistening lips as he trailed soft little pecks through your jawline and near to your mouth, laughing gently with the way you searched instantly for more with hooded eyes.

“Wan’ me to kiss you, pretty?” Jake asked, voice thick with raw desire. He now held you with both hands on your hips, one shamelessly lowering to your ass every so often, while yours glided over his chest until they reached his firm shoulders.

You watched Jake’s eyes flash with a mischievous spark and you promptly knew that you could play that game too. So instead of answering right away, you feigned the purest expression you could, batting your eyelashes deliberately as you looked up to him, big doe eyes twinkling with a playful innocence. 

Jake wavered under your gaze, breath twitching, clearly weak to your tactics already. You held back your smile, keeping your faux naivety; the single action fueling Jake’s craving deeper.

“Only if you want it too, Jakey.”

You had no right to sound so pure, as if you were immaculate, untouched, never once ruined, yet dripping with lust and desire. So fucking filthy. 

“Fuck, doll.” Jake muttered faintly, not holding back anymore, his jaw clenching as he harshly dragged you over the room, far from gently as he pushed you to bounce on the soft mattress of your bed. “I’ll kiss you,” he said, hovering on top of your body, the excitement bubbling pleasantly in your low area. “And then I’ll fuck you so, so fucking hard.”

You giggled, getting comfortable on your bed as Jake positioned himself between your legs, which hugged him naturally. As he lowered his face to do as he said, you smirked. 

“Is that a promise?”

Jake’s eyes darkened, pupils wide showing you a sea of unknown feelings you never thought you would witness with him. His lips curved into a slow, teasing smile, one hand trailing deliberately the curve of your hip, your waist, chest, until it was gently wrapped around your neck. 

“Bet.” 

Driven by a mutual need, Jake dived into you passionately, almost desperate. You let out an instantaneous satisfied moan with the feeling of his soft lips pressing harshly on yours, one hand flying to take place on his silky, thick strands, the other gripping his wrist, keeping his hand in place on your throat. 

It took seconds to have Jake’s wet tongue infiltrating the electric touch and unapologetically searching for yours while his body grinded just slightly against your clothed cunt, making it pulse in desperation, dampening the fabric of your panties.

You tried to remember if you had locked the door beforehand, the faintest peak of your moral appearing just to be completely vanished, forgotten due to the vibrations of Jake’s small noises; his groans sent signals straight to your throbbing core, each clutch of your fingers tangled on his locks igniting a new sound that you discovered to be your favorite. 

Jake tightened his fingers around your throat faintly, starting a path of sloppy kisses down to your neck and shoulders, his hot tongue savoring each piece of your exposed smooth skin, and everything you could do was to squirm underneath him, struggling to maintain your sounds low.

With your movement, you accidentally brushed your knee on Jake’s crotch area the exact same moment he released your throat, causing him to open-mouth moan and frown, lips now working on your covered breasts, busying his free hand to squeeze your hips; just the fleeting contact of his heavy, still clothed, dick against your body fueled your craving deeper, your hands gripping on his strands harder.

“Jake, can you please hurry up?” You said in between a moan when he nibbled your nipple over your shirt. “We– We can’t be caught.”

Jake looked up at you, beholding the view of your beautiful fucked out expression with just a few minutes of making out while his hands explored your body. He would bet millions that underneath your underwear, you had already made a mess – the thought alone enough to make him gulp, thrilled to feel your spongy drippy walls enveloping his throbbing length. 

“Newton’s third law,” Jake mumbled suddenly against your stomach, eyes glazed in yours that now showed a confused state, eyes sparkling with pure desire. He curled his fingers on the waistband of your sweatpants, lowering it enough to give him access to your laced underwear. “For every action, there’s a reaction.” 

His explanation didn’t do much for you to understand right away, your frown deepening asking why he would say that so out of the blue. But as soon as he pressed his fingers over your panties and started to draw circles on your clit, you kind of got it. 

“Shit,” you whispered within a whimper, rolling your hips forward as a way to get more of what Jake was offering you, making his lips curl with a satisfied grin. “I swear to G–God…”

The slowness of his movements got you sighing in frustration. It was clear he was playing with you – quite literally –, and the possibility of Jay hearing you two or even worse, bursting the door open and caughting you mid-act was as frightening as arousing.

Having to be quiet, to keep it down, to not raise suspicions. You clenched around nothing. Jake nearly felt it.

His tongue was constantly wetting his lips, mouth watering, his breath heavy, eager, like a starved man who had his favorite meal on full display but couldn’t do anything other than… watch.

You angrily propped yourself on your elbows, tugging Jake’s hair to pull him back to be face-to-face with you, his fingertips never stopping the circles on your cunt. Your lips were centimeters away from each other, eyes hooded, deepened in lust. Jake saw a remnant of your playful aura getting lost amidst the lewd words that came out of your mouth.

“You can’t keep up with your promises, I see,” you murmured, your voice low, sultry, laced with challenge; the smirk dancing on your lips heightened the defiance’s level, triggering Jake’s pulse to quicken. His breath caught as he arched an eyebrow “Should I ask you to leave so I can finish this myself?” You teased, pulling his head to the side by tightening your grip on his locks. “Are you all talk, Jaeyun?”

Jake froze for a brief moment, his mind working hard to connect your words, and the moment it did, his features hardened, utterly lured by your bait; jaw clenched, eyes darker, breath ragged. It dropped to a deeper shade of craving, raw and delightful.

Your core buzzed with anticipation and you unconsciously let out a gasp when Jake pulled you to lay back down on the soft mattress by the waist, hands immediately removing the last piece of cloth that covered your lower body, quickly to undress himself from his own shirt and jeans, exposing his torso and his hardened cock pressing against his underwear.

Absurdly hot. 

Jake was absurdly hot. 

A single silver necklace graced his beautiful neck in contrast with his subtly tanned skin, his chest, toned enough to drive you insane, rose and fell faintly. The way his perfect v-line drew your attention towards his underwear seemed almost purposeful, the stained portion on the thin fabric around his tip got your mouth watering. One thing you were sure of: Jake was big.

He smirked with the way you devoured him whole with your filthy gaze, feeling as much wanted as he desired you too. He playfully dropped his eyes down to his own cock just to glance at you before getting completely naked, catching just enough of your reaction over his bare body.

You had little to no time to appreciate the view as Jake hovered over you quickly, propping himself in between your spreaded legs. Your eyes gleamed with longing and your mouth fell agape when Jake started to glide his dick on your wet folds. He couldn’t hold back a groan with the feeling too, eager to get your pussy hugging his shaft.

“Condom?” He asked, lips kissing the corner of your mouth while waiting for your answer about where to find the said protection. Your immediate reply got him throbbing.

“No.”

Jake fully halted his hips, looking you dead in the eye, and when he saw nothing other than certain, he groaned. “Fuck, pretty. You can’t say th–”

“Raw, Jaeyun.” You repeated yourself, fingernails digging deep on his biceps, a moan escaping from your lips when his heavy cock brushed your clit.

“Damn,” he mumbled against your neck, aligning his length within your pulsing, drippy hole, aching to be fulfilled.

As Jake’s tip pressed against you, a messy kiss took place of your mouths in order to muffle your noises, sloppy and hot, tongues everywhere, teeth pressing each other’s bottom lip harshly, caring little to nothing about hurting.

You whimpered with the feeling of him filling you so good, going deeper and deeper each passing second. When he finally buried himself completely, a groan got lost in between your kisses, and he kept still while you adjusted, though it was extremely hard to wait when you tightened your walls so perfectly around him. 

“You– You feel so good,” he muttered against your lips, voice weak, losing himself in the feeling with his face contorting in pure pleasure as he licked and sucked your bottom lip, asking for more kisses.

The wording and how he said it got you clenching more and Jake felt it right away, your eyes fluttering close as he didn’t hold back and started thrusting on you slowly. He was so deep and intense on you, yet deliberate, a pacing you would curse if you weren’t enjoying that much. 

A soft knock on your bedroom door interrupted the blissful moment, panic instantly taking over your faces as you widened your eyes and gasped, instinctively covering your mouth with your hand. 

“Shit,” you whispered, looking at the closed door over Jake’s shoulder, your heart beating loud inside your chest.

You never prayed so hard for a door to be locked.

“Y/N?” Jay calmy called out from the other side.

“Answer him.” Jake whispered demandingly against your cheek, enjoying it a bit too much for your liking, especially because if you two got caught, it wasn’t just you who would get screwed. 

His eyes scanned your expression, how heavy was your breathing, how bright with fear your eyes shone, although there was a thick layer of pleasure not hiding your enjoyment of the situation. 

“Yeah?” You tried your hardest to sound steady and not stained, but it became a difficult mission when Jake was pushing himself even deeper within each deliberate roll, clearly searching to hit your sensitive spot. 

“Are you alright? Did Jake leave already?”

Your eyes darted over to Jake, who was keeping the grind slow, painfully slow. You arched an eyebrow, not saying a word as you waited for the man on top of you to decide if he was going to lie to his best friend or not.

Jake smirked.

“No, I’m still here,” he kind of shouted, biting his bottom lip to contain a whimper when you tugged his hair at the same time you squeezed him with your walls. After realizing his weakness of having his locks being pulled, you started to use it as an advantage. “And she’s fine, we’re–” he interrupted himself because of the quiet moan that escaped your parted lips, forehead resting on yours, the fear of being heard creeping stronger, fueling, feeding his arousal to the extreme. “We’re wrapping things up.”

Jake managed to let it out in one go, luckily and supposedly believable enough for Jay not to try open the door or ask any of you to do it. 

“Oh, um, okay… I just finished my work,” Jay said casually. “I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

Oh, great. Jay’s room. The one next door. 

“Alright, bro,” Jake was the only one able to speak, especially because you had now your teeth pressing on his shoulders as a way to keep yourself quiet. “See you in a few, then.”

You two not-so-patiently waited for the sound of Jay’s footsteps to fade far enough down the hall before continuing, Jake’s eyes filled with teasing when he looked back at you and immediately started to faster his thrusts, taking in from your instant response of curving your back with lips parted, the slightest moan escaping from them.

“Shh, baby girl. Don’t make any noises, yeah?” Jake whispered in your ear, his hot breath fanning your skin. With the way his fingertips traced softly your thighs, only to harshly grip into your flesh and pound deeper, you couldn’t hold back your whimper, wincing. “Shh…” He shushed again, an obvious smirk adorning his plump lips that now rested on swollen ones, his low voice causing your whole body to feel like on fire, skin tingling in despair.

You wanted to scream his name so bad.

“J–Jake…” You moaned underbreath, struggling to keep it quiet. Jake chuckled, amused by your reckless behavior.

“Do you want your brother to hear us, sweetheart?” He asked, filthy, feigning a mocking tone. “I don’t think he’d like to know how deep into you I’m in right now.”

With that, he thrusted once more, hitting your sweet spot right away. You nearly cried as you threw your head back, walls clenching around his dick furiously, fingernails sinking into his flesh, back arching.

Jake grinned, in complete awe with your surrendered, fucked up form, wishing so bad to be able to get more of you – your screams, your whimpers, you chanting his name, anything. He just knew you would sound even hotter. 

“Such a dirty little girl. Dying for someone to hear us, huh?” 

“N–No…” You whined, pathetically shaking your head and softly smacking his shoulder as you got lost in yourself. You felt your body starting to convulse as Jake kept on hitting your g-spot over and over, barely noticing he had his forehead resting on yours again, his hard breathing blowing harshly on your face. “Can’t– So big–”

You rolled your eyes with the speed of Jake’s hips increasing. He wanted to go harder and faster, but the slapping sounds were already growing too loud, teetering the edge of getting caught a bit too much. Not to mention the blend of quiet moans, whimpers and groans you both exchanged in between pants and messy kisses.

Within minutes Jake felt the coil on his stomach tightening, his release was near and by the way you started to sound desperate, you were close too.

“I’m not gon’ last much longer, pretty,” Jake hissed when you wrapped your legs around his hips and pushed him deeper, helping him to maintain the rhythm of his thrusts. “Fuck...”

You fluttered your eyes open – didn’t even remember when you had closed it – right on time to catch a glimpse of Jake’s necklace dangling close to your face as he propped himself up to ease his pushes, his sweaty hair part sticking to his forehead, part hanging down, grazing softly on your nose. 

The overwhelming feeling of Jake’s burying himself deep into you, filling up each centimeter inside your cunt, his scent all over your senses, his sweet and hot silent moans, the way he had a pleasant frown gracing his features, every now and then biting his lip.

You felt your orgasm building up in a delightful, electrifying wave that flushed your trembling body.

“I wanna–”

“Come to me, baby,” Jake urged you, his own climax teetering the edge, voice cracking. “Wan’ feel you creaming my cock.”

A mild louder noise escaped your lips as you shivered, legs shaking with the amount of pressure your body was releasing. Jake bursted right after your juices coated his length, stuffing you up with his warm seed.

Your heavy breaths filled the room for a while. Jake’s tired body pressing against yours within an intimacy that made your heart flutter, realization hitting that you just had fucked your crush, who just happened to be your brother’s best friend.

You closed your eyes, a sting of a bittersweet feeling growing inside your chest. 

“We still need to talk.”

The talk never really happened, since the constant visits unfolded your relationship with Jake better than you expected.

It seemed to be a no strings attached type of relationship, with you and Jake kissing and fucking anytime you had the chance to in between your tutoring classes.

You couldn’t help but feel guilty, and foolish to some extent, because tasting Jake's body and mouth awakened the same feelings of love you once buried deep within you, feelings that you now had to bury again, fully aware that they weren’t nearly reciprocated.

Jake probably saw you as woman he could fuck, and you thought you could live with that.

Your encounters with Jake became as usual as your classes, and gratefully Jay obliviousness blinded him from the real thing happening under his roof, because in no world you would need everyday physics lessons, even with your tough relationship with it. 

At some point you started to believe that your tactics to restrain yourself around Jake had been perfected.

When Jake changed his behavior with you, avoiding you at parties and the other events where you both accidentally crossed paths, Jay never suspected a thing. First, because he knew how busy Jake was with his work, and second, because he believed friendships were flexible and often riddled with uncontrollable nuances – meaning, you and Jake were simply going through a phase where things weren’t aligning.

It became routine to pretend you were still in the same cycle, with Jake acting as a casual friend who was just helping you with your studies enough to pass the course.

Jay had no idea you had promised Jake that you would only let him eat you out if you aced your exams – although you would let him do it anyway.

It was just so fun to watch him throw tantrums at you, whining how much he needed to feel your cunt pulsing and dripping on his tongue. You couldn’t deny the excitement of receiving a head from Jake was big; the way he kissed you and how high bridged his nose was, were enough proof that he would do a hell of a job.

As the semester was reaching its end, your anxiety grew.

You felt secure in most of your subjects, because even though Jake was actively present in your life, you managed to find out time to focus on your individual studies and felt confident enough in them.

But then there was physics.

The one you were supposedly studying, locked in the room with Jake. The one you learned while feeling the heat of his body against yours, his soft whispers, groans in your ear as his hands explored every centimeter of your skin.

It was undeniable that Jake's practical method worked wonders, and that was exactly why you took the lead and suggested that for that day's study session.

“You wanna do what?”

You and Jake were sitting across each other in your room: Jake on your bed and you at your desk chair. He had just arrived for your tutoring of the day and you immediately greeted him with a suggestion that had him with the most dumbfounded, in disbelief, shocked kind of expression written all over his face.

“Suck you off while you explain the basics of that shit,” you repeated yourself casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Quantum.” Jake pointed, his eyebrows skyhigh at that point. 

“Yeah,” you nodded, smiling innocently while playing with a pen and wiggling your legs off the chair.

“You want me to teach you the basics of quantum physics while you suck me off?” He echoed, still trying to completely comprehend your proposal. 

“That’s exactly what I just said.”

It was an undeniable proposal, right?

Jake blinked, his brain falling into a dangerous short-circuit. To imagine you, kneeled in front of him, his dick buried deep in your throat, free-fucking would be his wettest dream come true.

However, there was a big chance of him losing control of his sounds – and himself – the very moment your pretty lips wrapped around his dick, tongue playing with his sensitive length as your gorgeous doe eyes looked up to him.

Jake damned himself for getting hard just by the thought of it.

“And how does that help you… Practically talking?”

He was really trying to logical think and follow your thought process, shifting on his seat while his mind traveled away.

The whole fucking while studying was a thing not only because you both wanted it to happen, but mostly because Jake could partially dodge the creeping guilt, knowing his work was getting done, even if that meant him shoving his dick inside you while doing so – a win-win situation with his peculiar, yet effective technic. 

With that particular request, he couldn’t quite pinpoint where the logic leaned, triggering his mind to wonder if you were getting dangerously close to crossing the unspoken line that came with your agreement.

Jake’s eyes tracked as you stood up and walked close to him, casually sitting on his lap, arms naturally wrapping around his shoulders.

“Well…” You trailed off, fingers slowly and shamelessly drawing a soft line across his chest, feeling his breath hitching beneath your touch; your eyes dropping to a darker shade of lust, shifting the whole atmosphere. “Hearing your moaning voice would… Y’know, help me internalize it,” you smirked, letting each word teasingly hang in the thick air.

Jake’s eyes narrowed with a spark of intrigue, head tilting slightly as he searched for a hint of humor or mischief in your gaze that would give away your plan. But you held his stare, unwavering, eyes burning with a confidence that left no room for doubt, no suggestion of play.

“So…” He murmured within a gulp, his Adam’s apple bobbing drawing your attention briefly. “You’d remember the explanation… Because I’m…”

“Moaning it.”

The wording left your lips light as a feather, yet as sultry as the taste of the finest wine – tempting, subtle, delicious. Jake leaned in, failing to ignore your bait, his jaw clenching as his grip on your waist tightened; a quiet curse escaped him, underbreath, the moment you busied your lips on his sensitive neck. 

“Fuck…”

You rolled your hips just slightly, teasing a touch you wouldn’t be giving to him. Not so easily.

“What do you say, mhm?” You kissed Jake’s jawline, his chin, the tip of his nose and then his plush lips. 

There was something about the way he kissed you back, deliberate and tender, as if you were everything he waited for his whole life.

After days of sharing intimacy, you began to notice that sometimes Jake kissed you like a lover that long dreamed of you – mouthful and yearning, as if he couldn’t get enough of you. Like a soft breeze fanning your skin on a warm summer afternoon – comfortable enough to make you sigh, yet stirring something deep. Like the glow of the sun fading beneath the horizon at dusk – beautiful, fleeting, and full of possibilities. Like a first lover – fear of losing the sight of you and unforgettable. 

Jake kissed you like he was slowly allowing himself to fall in love with you. And you didn’t know yet, but he was.

Each attach of lips elicited new waves of euphoria through your veins as your feelings emerged without a proper warning, kicking the front door of your heart open and making a delightful mess.

You couldn’t help the strong pump of your heart and the flutter on your stomach the moment Jake crossed your sight. How thrilled you got when scheduling your meets, not caring about the studying neither the fucking; eager to kiss, to hug, just to have Jake close.

In that very moment you wished, more than ever, for him to feel the same way. You could sense the desire in his every touch, in the way his body pressed flush to yours, demonstrating how much he needed you, how much he was losing himself in you, like magnets.

You could feel it in the way his hands roamed, the warmth of his touch, the intensity in his gaze. It was tangible, undeniable. Jake wanted you. But was it enough? Did Jake want more than just a moment, or was it just an ephemeral passion, burning brightly before fading into memory like ashes?

On the other hand, Jake’s mind slipped into a haze, zoning out while drowning deeper in the warm and cozy ocean that was you.

He found himself lost in the memory of your first kiss – fueled by a mixture of fear and excitement. Not the fear of being caught, but the terror of realizing he had already fallen too intensely, his entire being consumed by the intoxicating pull of you. And he did nothing, nothing to fight back or to swim back to the top, utterly, willingly under your spell.

You had him wrapped around your fingers from the moment you first crossed paths at that party. 

Jake had tried to keep his safe distance, as a way of respecting your brother’s implicit boundaries and you, the little girl he grew up with. But mainly because he was completely aware that once he succumbed to the temptation of you, there would be no turning back.

When you both embarked on this brand new journey of friends with benefits, Jake knew that he could end up losing himself more than he should.

He believed you deserved to be treated like a queen – to be adored and desired as the most precious thing in the world. And he could be that person if you allowed him to.

But it was as clear as crystal water that you didn’t see him in that way. Not when you withdrew from acts of intimacy, not when you pulled back as the kiss grew too passionate, too full of love, not when you showed that you weren’t ready to take another step forward together.

Jake didn’t mind being used for your pleasure, not at all. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement: you got your physics lessons and some good orgasms, and he got to have you for a brief moment, just long enough to satisfy the hunger he felt. Then he would return, craving more, locked in a cycle he knew all too well, hoping his excuses of giving extra hours of teaching would be enough to keep you by his side just a little bit more.

That first taste had done more than ignite a flame; it had marked him, like a brand, leaving him completely, irrevocably at your mercy. Jake was yours. You just didn’t know yet.

That one kiss lingered painful longer than any other. When you finally pulled away, your breath came in short bursts and you were unsure whether it was the intensity of his touch or how quickly your heartbeats increased in such a short span of time.

Jake wore a lovestruck expression that had your body responding immediately – heat spreading through your chest, leaning forward, wanting more of whatever he had to offer.

“You pull me like magnets, you know that?” Jake casually and suddenly dropped in, voice barely above a whisper but thick with something unfamiliar to you so far, something that got your stomach fluttering with an emotion you didn’t want to name yet, scared of being real.

You swallowed down your immediate reaction, trying to regulate your breath while being torn between letting your heart follow along or keeping your feet on the ground, afraid of reading too much into that unusual moment that was just starting to unfold before you.

“That’s not today’s subject,” you managed to mutter back, a tinge of anguish holding onto your voice as your eyes traced Jake’s handsome features. 

You could lose yourself in him for hours and never grow tired. He had the most perfect face, soft puppy brown eyes filled with sincerity, prominent cheekbones that constantly shone brighter when he was smiling big, showing off his pretty dental arch with the slightest curl at the end of his plush lips. His sharp figure juxtaposed perfectly with the softness of his nature. Sweet, tender, endlessly loving.

For you, it was effortless to fall for Sim Jaeyun.

“When would it be, then?”

Jake had gathered all his strength and courage to throw that question at you, wavering just a little when you answered with a dumbfounded frown and a quiet “What?”.

“When the fact that you pull me like magnets, opposites but still ridiculously attracting me towards you, would be the subject?” He asked, his hands pressing harder on your hips as if he was trying to ground himself out of his nervousness, as if he was struggling to not falter. 

You arched an eyebrow, an unconscious smile creeping on your mildly swollen lips as your breath hitched. Before you could reply with another question, Jake continued, making it difficult to keep thinking coercively, since each of his words traveled straight into your heart.

“‘Cuz, pretty, it’s pathetic,” he chuckled as softly as his voice came out, head leaning to the side. “When I’m with you I feel like I’m a particle in motion, constantly accelerating in pure devotion,” Jake's orbs were so, so filled with softness and fondness as he kept on saying. One of his hands cupped your cheek and he brushed your lower lip. “You make me feel like I’m at the center of a black hole. No matter how much I try to escape, I’m just pulled deeper into your gravity.”

With that you giggled, head being thrown back as the flustered heat creeped on your cheeks quickly, your eyes briefly flickering away from Jake’s loving ones for a moment before glazing into them again, this time intensely exposing your vulnerable side.

You finally lowered your guard, allowing those same feelings you had been nurturing for years to come into the light to face the beautiful, thrilling possible outcome.

“Did you just confess your feelings for me using physics metaphors, Sim Jaeyun?” You asked with a playful glint in your eyes and a teasing smile that had Jake nuzzling his flustered face on your neck, holding back his own shy smile within a bit on his lower lip.

“Yes. I, indeed, did,” he muffled against your skin, making you shiver a bit.

Your heart vibrated with pure, unexpected joy. Your afternoon had a turn you weren’t waiting for, but now that it did, relief flooded your senses. Jake had feelings for you too.

Another giggle escaped your lips. Never in your wildest dreams had you imagined Jake confessing his feelings to you, let alone as you sat on his lap, sharing intimacy and knowing you were the ultimate reason for his body to be so reactive. Couldn’t be more perfect, everything seemed too good to be true.

With a light lean back, enough to pull Jake away from your embrace, your eyes dropped to drink in his perfectly drawn full lips. The air shifted, this time, not only with a momentary lushness or vague desire how it used to be, but carried with a ton of something close to love as well.

You rolled your hips and Jake groaned, sensitive to you already.

“So,” you purred, your teeth sank into your bottom lip, a mischievous grin tugging the corner of your mouth as you pushed yourself forward, making Jake’s heart flutter as his back encountered the soft mattress of your bed. “Does my pretty physics boy want me to suck him off while he lays down or…?”

Jake’s body instantly winced with the way your eyes darkened and how velvety your voice came out of your gorgeous lips; the nickname didn’t go unnoticed either, causing his dick to twitch inside his pants.

Your touch feathery, yet trailing flames through his covered chest stirred up the deepests feelings he used to hide. Jake took in your reaction as a quiet yes or maybe a subtle “me too”. Knowing your nature so far, you would rather give him a head, as in a taste of your affection, than admitting out loud you liked him back.

Little did he know you were on the verge of panic, fighting the urge of shying away because, although he just confessed to you, you felt pathetically nourishing feelings way more intense towards him, with your heart pounding loud and unsteady and an overwhelming ache not-so-quietly overtaking your being.

You craved to give Jake your everything, to devour every centimeter of him if that meant being close – closer than words alone could ever take you. There were no syllables together to form a proper sentence that showed a quarter of what it felt to love Jake.

“I– I honestly don’t know…” Jake murmured as soft as fluffy clouds, contrasting your demeanor at that moment, with your lips now placing slow and soft kisses all over the sensitive flesh of his neck.

You chuckled when Jake started to squirm a little, his hands nervously gripping on your ass and quiet moans escaping his lips as you took your time to enjoy his warmth with your mouth. There was something so arousing about how Jake was always reactive to your touches, either the lightest or the more intense ones, his body clearly faltering deliciously under your control. It made your panties wet quite instantly. 

When you started to nibble that same area, you also felt Jake bucking his hips upwards, as a way to get some friction to satisfy his neglected dick. Jake was very sensitive on his neck and didn’t have to admit it out loud; the fact that he was getting harder and harder underneath you was enough to show it. 

His puppy eyes lighted up with an adorable blender of curiosity and excitement under your piercing gaze when you lifted yourself to straddle, knees on each side of his hips. The same gaze roamed his whole clothed body as if you could see through it, ravishing each small portion with adoration.

Jake had an extra cute and confused expression taking over his face when you suddenly stood up and let him go out of the warmness of your body, a playful grin dancing on your lips as you softly tapped his thigh before saying.

“Get comfy, Jakey,” there was a thick layer of desire on your voice blended with a hint of mischievousness that got Jake’s dick throbbing while he did as you said, propping himself on his elbows to properly lay on your bed.

You positioned yourself on top of him again, smiling cheekily as you lowered your face just enough to purr against his ear, your hot breath making him wince. “Cuz I’m about to make you forget your own name.”

The way Jake’s eyes widened after hearing your non-filtered filthy words had you giggling, his Adam’s apple attractively bobbing up and down as he swallowed, your lips attaching to it because you truly wanted to devour Jake as whole. 

“But Jay–” He tried to reason with you, his hands betraying his rational side as he intensified the grip on your ass once again, pulling you down so he could rut against you; his pants growing uncomfortably tighter each passing second.

“Shh,” you shushed him, gently pressing a finger on his plump lips before shaking your head. “He’s not home,” you added, planting a few kisses along his neck, jawline and lastly on his lips, propping yourself up on your arms, one on each side of Jake’s head.

A low moan escaped Jake at the sight of your fierce, determined gaze, fearing he wouldn’t be able to handle whatever you had prepared in your mind. You stared at him like a predator about to strike a prey, and damn, you looked so unbelievably sexy doing it.

“It’s just the two of us.”

Just for a few brief moments, he thought, considering adding. But you seemed more unwavering than ever to follow through with your plan, and honestly? Jake didn’t care anymore.

Not when you slowly stripped him down until only his underwear remained. Not when you were kissing and licking every centimeter of his chest and abdomen, your enchanting eyes giving innocent, pure glances that contrasted sharply with your every move. Not when he could feel your hands deliberately exploring every part of his warm skin, leaving trails of burning desire that were far too overwhelming for him to remain still.

When you paused at the waistband of his underwear, all Jake could do was breathe heavily, bite his lip, and watch you expectantly, his airways feeling like closing as you finally gave him the freedom he needed. 

“You have such a beautiful and big cock, Jakey,” you hummed with a smirk, tongue wetting your lips as you felt your mouth watering. Jake groaned when you grabbed the base and started pumping it, painful slowly, smearing the leaking precum to lubricate. “I’d love to feel it down my throat.”

And without a warning or leaving him to properly think about your words, you gave a long, savoring lick of his veiny length just to suck at the tip, eliciting an immediate moan within a thrust forward searching for more contact.

You kept swiping your tongue across his throbbing hardened dick, always finishing with a pop on the very end, and when you felt like your spit and his arousal had coated it enough to ease your movements, you opened your mouth wide to take him whole, each centimeter causing Jake’s body to tremble and his voice to falter in between his groans.

When you had your nose bumping his lower stomach, you stood still, feeling Jake’s hands caressing your hair kindly. You had to use your everything to remember to breathe with your nose, especially when the view of Jake’s head being thrown on the pillow as he, himself, struggled to regulate his own breathing was unfolding right before your eyes. 

Jake's body at that point was flaming hot, sweat dripping onto his forehead while his free hand clutched the sheet in a way to keep him sane, though your warm cavity embracing his dick, up and down, was leaving no room to maintain the silence. 

“Fuck, baby–” His voice was hoarse, consumed by the indescribable sensation of the way you took him so pleasurably, so skillfully, so delightfully. “T–Taking me so well…”

He waved his hips just slightly with his hands still on your head, bucking against your throat and unintentionally making you gag. He didn’t feel sorry at all, not when you kept on your pace, barely giving a thought about it, even stirring a muffled moan out of you.

A choked whimper escaped Jake’s swollen lips as he felt your throat pressing against his sensitive tip again. It was bizarre how it seemed like you had been molded just for him, and only him. Jake wanted you in every possible way and was grateful because you seemed to want him just as desperately.

You increased the rhythm little by little with hollow cheeks, giving some more attention with your mouth to Jake’s reddened tip, tongue pressing at the slit every once and a while as your hands worked on the base and his balls. 

There was a thin string of morality that held Jake in reality, preventing him from moaning your name – though he wanted so badly to –, but he couldn’t help the following whimpers and small cries that left his throat, the flutter on his stomach indicating he was getting closer. 

You noticed it almost right away after so many moments together. Jake always started to whine in between his noises and his body would shake within each minimal stimulus, squirming like he was growing desperate. So you quickly repositioned yourself, supporting your weight with your arms on the bed and staying still, eyes blinking expectantly at Jake, waiting.

“Why did you stop–” Jake cut himself when he propped his head up from the pillow to look at you, another half-choked groan slipping out his parted lips when he caught the view. “Don’t tell me you want me to…”

You nodded, still waiting. Jake chuckled, in pure disbelief and desire, because you just had held yourself with your tongue poking out of your mouth, expecting him to simply throat-fuck you.

The way you were just… staring, patiently idling until Jake had your hair threaded through his slender fingers to finally move was an extremely alluring, sultry sight.

“You have no idea of how sexy you look right now,” he muttered under his breath, lowering your head while resting on his free elbow, because there was no way in hell he would lose the enticing scene you were just about to give him. 

Jake didn’t know he would be able to endure much longer of that treatment you were giving him, his body extra sensitive as he bobbed your head up and down his cock; free using your body for his own pleasure sounded a lot out of his league and he took a mental note to repay later. 

It took just seconds in that new position for you to have Jake rolling his eyes back with his mouth falling open, a quiet moan escaping as he speeded up his hands on your head before forcing you all the way down, pressing the tip of his throbbing cock on your throat while the thick ropes of his release filed straight down your throat.

You kept steady, motioning the swallowing movement to ride Jake through his high; it felt amazing to have him shaking in between random waves underneath you, soft whines coming out of his parted lips while the grip on your hair tightened.

As soon as he loosened the said grasp, you finally removed his now a bit softened cock out of your mouth, kissing it briefly before moving up to settle yourself on Jake’s chest. 

“That was insane,” he whispered in between small pants, involving you with his arms. You cared little to nothing about his sweat sticking to you, knowing you both would have to take a quick bath before Jay got home. 

“I know,” you replied back with a grin, looking at him and kissing his lips with passion, now free from your own fears’ restraints. 

You used to avoid sharing too many intimate moments with Jake, the aftercare barely happening due to your constant excuses to run away, scared of falling deeper into something you couldn’t really grasp at. Not until that day. 

It felt great to experience such loving touches without having to run away – light as sweet breeze fanning your face, your heart pounded in joy inside your chest, stomach fluttering with dancing butterflies.

You suddenly giggled, parting the kiss to glance at Jake with your adorable, playful eyes. He shot you back a tender gaze, waiting for your following words.

“You didn’t teach me about quantum,” you quirked an eyebrow and Jake immediately widened his eyes in panic.

“Oh, shit.”

You laughed at his dramatic reaction, at how he wanted to leave the bed to grab his clothes and try to use the last minutes of your tutoring session to teach you anything.

“Calm down, big boy,” you pulled him back. “Jay’s probably not even at home yet.”

As if you had summoned him, a knock on your door got you and Jake startled. 

“Y/N?”

Both of your bodies tensed immediately. With a jolt, Jake was rushing over to get his clothes from the floor and wear them as quickly as possible while you frantically patted down your hair and smoothed the wrinkled fabric of your shirt, wiping away any hint of lingering fluids from the corner of your mouth.

“Coming!” You shouted, hurrying towards the door.

You cleared your throat, giving a final, stealthy glance over your shoulder to make sure Jake was, thankfully, no longer naked. When you opened the door, you greeted Jay with an overly bright, oh-so-forced smile, praying he would buy your attempt at casualness.

“Hi!” 

“…Is everything alright? I heard some noises. It sounded like someone was in pain…” he replied, his brows knitting in concern.

“Uh…” Your mouth fell open and your eyes widened comically, your brain nearly visibly overheating, struggling to process an acceptable explanation. 

You could closely feel Jake’s gaze burning on your back as the realization that Jay might have heard pretty much everything.

“It was me!” Jake interjected, cutting through the awkward silence with an impressive smoothness. “I, uh, stubbed my toe on Y/N’s bed frame when I was heading to the bathroom,” he added with a sheepish chuckle.

“Oh,” Jay replied, nodding with an air of understanding that sent a wave of relief through your tense shoulders, your smile naturally coming back to your face. “That makes sense.”

However, Jake was naive enough to notice how his best friend’s eyes dropped briefly, as if scanning you two, a faint, knowing look flashing across his face before he added with a small, friendly smile

“I’ll leave you two. Don’t wanna interrupt your… Studies.” 

“Thanks!” You were quick to answer. Almost too quick. “We’re almost finished!” Your voice was stained enough to raise suspicions but you opted to ignore it.

As the door clicked shut, Jake exhaled with a low mutter, his fingers scratching through his hair. “I think he knows.”

“What!?” You exasperated, though trying to maintain your voice low. “There’s no way!”

Jake’s lips curled in a fond smile as he studied your adorable disbelief expression, hands finding comfort on your waist. For someone who just had partially sucked his soul out of his body through his cock, you were acting a bit almost innocent. He couldn’t resist the urge to tease you, his fingers drawing circles on your hips.

“Did you really think he bought that excuse?” he chuckled softly, eyes gleaming with amusement.

“Of course he did!” You stomped your foot, crossing your arms.

Jake's hands slid from your waist just to gently unfold your arms, guiding them to his shoulders as he pulled you closer.

“I wish you were right, pretty girl, but I don’t think we’ve convinced him this time,” Jake said and sighed, your cheeks warming when he used a finger to tuck a strand of your messy hair on your ear. Your pout deepened and Jake giggled. “Who the hell moans when getting hurt, sweetheart?” He murmured, his voice soft, but his lips twitched in a playful smirk.

“I mean,” you started, flustered but trying to be reasonable, “there are probably people who–” Jake cut you off with a quick peck on your lips, startling you into silence as your protest dissolved into a surprised smile. The sweetness of the gesture caught you off guard, and a good warmth bloomed in your chest.

Definitely you would have to get used to that.

“I don’t think he bought it, pretty,” Jake eyes traced over your features, his smile lingering longer as he studied each part of it. He caressed your cheek, brushing your bottom lip before kissing you, a delicious shiver running down your spine as he did so. “But it’s fine, yeah? We’ll figure out something.”

The woman staring back at you in the mirror was expressing everything but “I’m casually going to study.” Sure, you had chosen a chill outfit, taking advantage of the sweet autumn breeze to wear one of your cozy sweaters, but you had left your legs bare, pairing it with a short skirt that framed your thighs perfectly. Perfectly enough to drive Jake insane.

It was amusing, thrilling even to see how he now reacted so openly, nearly pathetically to your provocations. Anytime you found yourselves in a safe space – mainly your room or the living room when you were absolutely sure Jay wasn’t home – Jake would unleash a stream of shameless obscenities adoring you, his hungry gaze devouring your body without a care in the world. It always earned a laugh from you before you both gave in to the heat of the moment, leading to a long, intense kiss. 

Today, you didn’t know for certain if Jay was home, and frankly you didn’t want to find out either. If he was, he would probably see you and question where you were going, an endearing yet slightly overprotective habit of his. So, you walked through the house as quietly as possible, practically on tiptoes, hoping he had been held up at work or had gone out with his friends, as he usually did on Fridays.

The evening was just setting in, and Jake had mentioned earlier that Sunghoon and Heeseung were going out that night, which was the main reason you had felt comfortable enough to head over – freedom. And, admittedly, because your finals were starting next week, and you genuinely wanted to review a few things with him, even – and luckily – if that meant to have his breathy moans brushing against your ear as he fucked you dumb.

With your nervous eyes hovering the apartment in search of anything that resembled your brother’s presence, you finally reached the door, clicking it open with a relieved sigh.

However, fate had other plans for you.

“Where are you going?”

You startled and stopped immediately on your tracks, turning in your heels with an awkward smile to see Jay standing near the dinner room door frame with a confused expression. You had forgotten that he normally sat there while working on boring stuff on his phone sometimes, where he could definitely see you passing by.

“Um... To Jake's.” You quietly told. “Y’know, my exams start on Monday, so…”

Jay arched an eyebrow, his jaw clenching ever so slightly as his eyes roamed your body, his frown deepening within each passing second. Now you damned yourself for choosing such a short skirt.

With a brief nod after his silent inspection, he muttered. “Ok.”

You squinted, tilting your head, your expression shifting to something almost investigative as you struggled to read Jay's reaction – a calmness that felt almost unsettling, like the lull before the storm. You half-expected him to ask dozens of questions, and the fact he didn’t got you wavering, stomach twisting in a bitter anticipation.

“Okay…?” you echoed, waiting for… something more.

“Yeah, have fun.” He replied, shrugging slightly, hands being buried deep in his front pockets. “I mean, it’s physics. You can’t really have fun with that,” he teased, but at the same time, you felt weird, like there was something more to it.

“Um, right,” you nodded, forcing a tense, small smile. “Definitely can’t.”

The words lingered in the air between you two, the air dense as volcano smokes; a volcano you trusted wouldn't erupt soon. Or at least you deeply hoped for it. 

After a quick goodbye, you headed to Jake’s house, having to deal with your stomach aching in nervousness after your brief interaction with Jay. You truly wished for your brother to be oblivious enough not to suspect anything more than he already had, nonetheless you and Jake weren’t being that cautious about your ongoing relationship.

On the other side, the said man was patiently waiting for your arrival. He had just declined Heeseung and Sunghoon’s invitation to hang out as they usually did on Fridays, trying to sound as casual as possible when explaining you would be there soon to finish your studies, since you had exams the next week.

Bullshit. 

Jake was playing with fire. Taunting the devil. Flirting with danger. Whatever.

He had a vain certainty that Jay was suspecting your relationship with him, especially after the last encounter in your room where your brother’s eyes shifted briefly into something close to understanding beyond what he had seen. 

Still, Jake called you over, praying for the best outcome instead of facing whatever consequences Jay would make him go through once he finds out he has been sleeping with his little sister.

Jake wasn’t an only child, however, having an older brother didn’t do much to help him in portraying being in your place.

Of course he would go insane if he had a little sister and she started to screw around with a friend of his, especially if she tried to hide it. But Jake didn’t plan to be the asshole type, to use your body for his own satisfaction and discard you once he got bored, never. He couldn’t even create a thought about leaving you at that point. His heart beat for you, and you only. 

You became an important part of his life throughout the past weeks, months even. Since the moment you both allowed and agreed to the friends-with-benefits arrangement and it had evolved into something much deeper. Now, Jake found himself nurturing strongest feelings for you; it wasn’t only about the curves of your body, the smoothness of your skin, the longing to have you all over him, no. 

Jake could easily say he had fallen in love with you.

It was crazy how you got him wrapped around his finger – both abstractly and practically –, as if it was such an easy task to do. 

Life with you was way more interesting and enjoyable. Jake could spend hours fucking you, yes, definitely. But nothing compared to having your body snuggled against his, the shared warmth leaving no room for anxiety, tiredness or sorrow.

After a tough day, all Jake wanted was to be with you, cuddling while receiving your shower of kisses and hearing your giggles as you did so.

Jake fell deeply in love with every part of your personality: how determined you overall were and especially when it was about to win him over, how rational yet emotional you could be, how genuine and at the same time assertive you expressed yourself when talking about your hobbies.

Acts of service were your primary love language, and Jake loved how you put in effort to express affection in such a thoughtful way, since the shared routine made it extra hard to ease your side. 

Taking care of his tired body after he stayed on top of you for quite a long time, giving him water and cleaning him whole. Bringing his favorite coffee whenever he stopped to pick you up from college. 

When you both actually studied, you didn’t just listen to his explanations; you appreciated the effort he put into making even the most complex topics easy to understand. But more than that, you always did your best to make him feel comfortable. Whether it was adjusting the air conditioning when you saw him shivering or sweating, or quietly flipping the pages of the textbook when you noticed he had finished reading the last paragraph, your attention to detail never went unnoticed.

On a random day, Jake reached into his back pocket and found a small note you had quietly slipped there. It was a sweet declaration, simple but meaningful, words that reflected everything you didn’t always say out loud.

He knew that you worked best through actions, but the note reminded him of the affection that was always present in every little thing you did.

The sound of the doorbell ringing had Jake jumping off the couch, eager to greet you. As the door swung open, he gave you no chance to breathe, pulling you closer to lessen the longing of the warmth of your body, his lips crashing onto yours with a fervor that told you everything you needed to know for now. 

“Hi– To you– Too!–” You tried to mumble against the kiss, giggling at how desperate Jake was behaving while stumbling on your legs as you entered the house, struggling to follow his messy lead.

“Want you.” He whispered as a vain explanation, guiding you both to his room without a care in the world.

With a blink of a second your half-closed eyes caught his deep frown, and your smile faltered while your body tensed straightaway. It triggered a strange feeling in your chest to perceive Jake’s urgency. You sensed something was off, weird even; you had just left home under Jay's analytical gaze, knowing you were hiding a huge secret from him, one he could be absurdly close to discovering – or maybe he already had. Now, with Jake’s unforeseen demeanor, if you forced yourself hard enough to connect the dots, you would say the man kissing you was holding some information back.

Or atleast holding something back. 

“Wait, wait–” You tried to break the sloppy kiss by pushing Jake’s chest lightly, away enough to attempt to pry an explanation out of him without his mouth devouring yours. “What happened?”

Jake’s eyes roamed your concerned face briefly, a flicker of hesitation flashing before he smiled tenderly. His hands on your hips pressed the area ever so mildly, as though he fought a way to anchor him, as if he suddenly started fearing to lose your touch.

You didn’t buy his smile.

“Can’t a man miss his woman?”

His woman.

Though the manner of addressing you had your heart swirling in a sweet, thrilling carousel and your cheeks warming up, you couldn’t help the growing bittersweetness slowly and painfully swallowing your entire being. 

“Yes, you can,” you didn’t hold back your half-smile before your eyes softened, nearly teetering a probing, piercing one as your hands softly caressed Jake’s face. “But I feel like there’s something more.”

Jake’s breath hitched, not due to how intense he was kissing you just seconds ago, but mostly because you were so fucking right.

Jake had a problem sleeping last night after you confirmed you would visit him the next day. Excitement? No. Fear.

Inviting you over to his place felt like a way of grounding the relationship, making it real. Alongside the once-conflicted feelings that had now settled comfortably into love, there was the weight of responsibility to bring you into his world, to make it real for everyone, make it real to his best friend. To your brother.

Jake wasn’t exactly afraid of his friendship with Jay falling apart. Though hurtful, he for sure could find ways to live through it. He did worry about you. To Jay, you were family – true family, tied by blood. If things went wrong, you wouldn’t have the luxury of cutting ties; you would be forced to navigate whatever fallout happened. Jake hoped fervently that it wouldn’t come to that, that you wouldn’t have to face a harsh reality just because you both liked – loved – each other. 

Yet, a new sense of resolve was rising within him, making him believe that no matter the outcome, he would do whatever it took to keep you by his side. Fighting for you felt easy. Making you happy was his ultimate goal. 

Jake would cross oceans, move heaven and earth if that meant to stay with you.

So, you were right, because he was overthinking the possibility of telling Jay about your relationship. But before, there was going to be a relationship to begin with.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” 

Jake caught on your body shifting and backing away a little, your breath stuttering, eyes widening, wavering before his proposal. He found himself panicking within a snap prior to your silence, cursing internally for letting his feelings take over and the question to escape his lips.

A bit longer. Just a bit longer he should have waited to understand where you stood emotionally when the subject was the two of you, because beyond considering your feelings, Jay was in the equation as well, difficulting the possibilities of the said relationship to blossom. 

There was no coming back, though. The words flew out of his mouth, lingering in the air and weightening it as you quietly processed what you had just heard, wondering if you were tripping. 

Jake gulped and immediately started to ramble, fumbling over his words with a voice that broke a bit once and a while as he did so, trying to cover up the angushing lack of noises between you both.

To some extent, Jake feared you would somehow hear his heart beating in panic. 

“You don’t have to accept,” he began, his voice unsure, yet full of vulnerability. “I mean, we’re seeing each other almost everyday, and I really have feelings for you and maybe... Maybe you feel the same? For me?” He hesitated, puppy eyes wide and glistening with hope and desperation searching for any sign from you. He found nothing.

“L–Like, we’re having sex quite often and I like your company a lot,” he stammered. “I’d love to call you my girlfriend. I know there’s Jay and he’s your brother and he may not accept it, but I’m willing to–”

“Shut up.” You cut him off sharply by pressing a finger on his mouth.

A deep frown marked your forehead as you pondered thoughtfully, your gaze focusing on some random spot down the hallway behind Jake’s back, your mind racing.

Jake froze, eyes growing bigger at your reaction, his lips pursing together in a small, adorable pout that made your heart twist.

“Ok.”

You almost felt guilty for making him go through whatever was racing in his head; hearing his voice falter made your chest ache. At the same time, you couldn’t blame yourself, not when Jake had literally just asked you to be his girlfriend.

It was the question, the most important one of your life so far, the very one you had dreamed of hearing from him with his attractive Australian accent, nearly bordering a childish fantasy. 

“Please, just say something…” Jake pleaded, voice cracking with anxiety. “Even if it’s a no…”

His words hit you like a wave crashing onto rocks. Your head snapped towards his direction, your wide eyes shooting a skeptical, confused glance, increasing his own confusion. Jake tilted his head to the side, just like a puppy, and then the realization hit. 

“What?” You exclaimed, a hint of laughter tempting to burst out. “No! Babe, no…”

There was a clear layer of desperation on your voice now, as you shook your head frantically and sweetly placed countless kisses on Jake’s plump lips, cupping his face gently to keep him steady. He tried to ignore how his chest burned deliciously with the pet name.

“God, no, I’d never say no,” you muttered, his breath of relief fanning your face kindly, enough to ease your own heart. “I was just… Taken aback. I never expected my lifelong crush to ask me to be his girlfriend,” you giggled as you said, feeling a fluster creep up your neck towards your face. 

Jake’s half-open eyes enjoyed the tenderness touch you showered him with, but then he suddenly dropped to something similar to confusion again, pulling back just slightly to look you in the eyes.

“Sorry, lifelong crush? Me?” His voice was a mix of disbelief and amusement. 

You laughed again, the sound light and full of affection before you hid yourself on the crook of his perfumed neck; the scent easing your senses right away. 

“Yes, you,” you mumbled, shyly. “You– You have been on my mind for quite a long time, Jaeyun,” to admit it out loud had you even more embarrassed, so you choose not to pinpoint precisely when. Not for now. Gladly, he didn’t push you as well. He would make the most of it later on.

“So…” He trailed off, pushing you off your hideout to offer you the most beaming expression you ever saw him having.

Jake was so, so gorgeous, with his wide, contagious smile, the soft curve at the ends framing it perfectly. Eyes sparkling with adoration, giving you the most tender and expectant look.

“Yes, Jake. I’d like to be your girlfriend.”

“Mhm,” he nodded, feigning a cool, relaxed demeanor you both knew wasn’t actually true, trying to hide the actual urge to jump like crazy behind a mischievous smirk. You arched an eyebrow, expectation growing slowly in your chest. “Where should I first take you as my girlfriend now?”

You giggled, biting your bottom lip with a naughty smile as you felt your heart palpitating harder; Jake would always be your crush after all. And to know you had him as your boyfriend only increased your arousal amidst the unfolding talk.

“How about your room, mhm?” A finger slowly traced his jawline, eyes dropping to something more intense. “Bet you have a lot of physics stuff in there, am I right?” 

Jake laughed at your subtly mocking, yet naive words, especially because you both knew you weren’t wrong at all – and where that type of conversation would lead.

“Oh, you have no idea, darling,” he shot back, mirroring your tone as he pressed you back against his bedroom door, pushing it open with a deliberate motion. “Gotta show you how physics explains some… very special positions, yeah?”

You weren’t entirely sure how it happened, since things with Jake usually escalated quickly once your lips met, but now he was hovering over you, his firm body pressing you into the bed, kissing you slowly and consumingly, as his fingers roamed over every centimeter of exposed skin.

You were well aware of how tempted Jake was by your legs – one of the reasons you had chosen that particular skirt – but you were uncertain if you would ever get used to how he grasped at you, his fingers digging in as though he needed to pull you closer, as if he desperately wanted to break the laws of physics and turn you both into one single body, occupying the same space.

Each time he rocked forward, grinding himself against you in search of any fleeting relief, waves of heat and excitement coursed through your veins straight to your core.

When a soft moan escaped, the noise vanished in between the heated touch and Jake lost composure. His mouth left yours only to travel lower, finding the sensitive line of your neck, lips pressing eagerly, his tongue tracing over the spots he knew would make you shiver, followed by a soft scrape of his teeth as he teased every weak point with deliberate care.

Your nails dug into his shoulder as your head fell back onto his pillow, granting him full access, your other hand tangling in the softness of his brown locks, gently tugging as his lips moved with purpose. But Jake’s impatience was hard to miss. He drifted down to your jawline, then lower, hands trying to slip beneath your sweater in an attempt to feel more of you.

“No,” you tugged his head back by his hair. “No, no, no. Listen, I get you’re excited and believe me, I am too, but–” You tried to speak between the sloppy kisses Jake continued planting along your jaw, a clear attempt to quiet you. “We have to study.”

“Please,” he breathed, a whine escaping him, not giving a care about how tight you gripped his strands, lowering himself, nuzzling his nose against the fabric of your sweater. “Please, I need you. I need to feel you.”

“We have to study.” You echoed what you just said and somehow it seemed to be rather to bring you back from the blissful lust than to take Jake away from it.

“Please,” with a plea, Jake locked his eyes onto yours, his voice thick with desperation.

You swallowed nothing as you saw deep, raw, intense desire once you met his gaze.

Jake had his two beautiful orbs oozing with craving, with need. His jaw was clenched, his features somewhat sharper under the dim light of his room. The sight nearly made you moan aloud, perhaps longing to have Jake between your legs more than him himself. 

The blaze in your stomach increased as he leaned down slowly, fierce eyes still glazed onto yours, little by little decreasing the distance between his face and your still covered cunt, teasing to get under your skirt.

You knew exactly what Jake wanted. He had hinted at it so many times it was almost impossible not to relent. And yet, despite the power he somehow had over your decisions in moments like these, sending you easily into a haze of desire, you were a woman of your word.

“No,” you murmured, reluctantly pushing his head away and sitting up. “Do you remember our deal?”

Jake's gaze flickered, torn between your tempting thighs with the pretty skirt framing them perfectly and the inflexible expression on your face, the frustration evident. God, he could already picture himself getting lost in between your legs, your thighs squishing his head because he was pleasuring you so good. And preferably wearing the exact same skirt you wore.

“Fine,” he huffed, rolling his eyes like a scolded child. “Let’s study so you can ace that fucking exam.”

You bit back a grin as you read Jake’s pouty face, reaching over to grab the collar of his white shirt and pull his body onto yours one last time, starting a slow, savoring kiss. You sucked his bottom lip within a quiet smack sound as you drew back.

“Sorry, can’t help myself,” you muttered with a cheeky smile, eliciting a chuckle from Jake. 

Your eyes tracked the motion of his tongue sweeping across his swollen, reddened lips, stealing any lingering remnant of your taste before standing on his foot.

“You’re trouble,” he said while offering you a hand. “And I like that.”

When he headed you over his desk, you smirked, ignoring the slap he gifted your ass with before sitting. 

“So, sound waves, huh?” you purred, fingers tracing over the open page before looking up at him with a playful glint. “I’m curious how you’d explain it to me.”

Jake would always follow the same flow. He would start with you beside him, explaining the concepts from the book in simple terms, and you would initially go along, absorbing the material through the practical examples Jake offered so effortlessly.

But then your attention would start to drift – to the way his lips moved, the soft, deep resonance of his voice that seemed to echo through your entire body, the way his slender fingers moved as he gestured with every point he made... And soon, Jake would begin to lose his composure, deciding to take a far more hands-on approach to his “teaching.”

After a call from Jay asking what was taking so long for you to go home – an unusual demeanor that got goosebumps spreading over your skin – and a lame excuse that you were deeply focused on reviewing the materials for your exam, you ended up back on Jake’s bed, on all fours with his hardened, throbbing dick pounding fast into you.

“The louder you scream,” Jake thrusted deep, hitting your g-spot tirelessly, making you cry his name out just like he was saying. “The greater the amplitude of the sound waves. It carries more e–energy.”

“Fuck, Jake,” you rolled your eyes, though no one could actually see you doing that. 

Your hands clutched the colorful sheets underneath you as a way to keep yourself sane, to maintain your conscience stable and grounded; you doubted you wouldn’t even remember your name, nonetheless. It was hard to think of anything else other than Jake’s name being chanted by your tired throat, Jake’s dick buried deep into you, Jake’s hands grasping your hips to keep you still, Jake’s desperate moans, searching for his release. Jake was everywhere. 

“So– deep–” You whined, your walls clenching around his length, your dripping juices coating precisely each part of it. 

“Yeah, babe?” Jake’s voice dropped an octave, squeezing your hips hard enough to leave marks. The fleeting thought made him groan, because it sounded like you were his propriety. “Like my cock deep into your pussy, mhm?”

“Fucking hell, yes,” you faltered on your arms, dropping almost completely on the bed if wasn’t for Jake’s steady grip on your waist. 

You could feel his dick twitching inside your cunt, the realization he was getting close sparking up in between the haze bliss you were going through, lost in pure, raw desire. Jake was fucking you so good.

“So fucking perfect,” Jake managed to say with trembling voice and between groans before his rhythm grew frantic, uneven, irregular. “My good girl, isn’t that right?”

You agreed within a mumble, not able to form proper words, eliciting a chuckle from Jake. 

“I want your cum,” you said muffled, somehow finding strength to force your body back and meet Jake’s thrusts. “I want it so bad, Jakey–”

After testing words, dirty talks, movements, even decisions when sharing those moments with Jake, you managed to select a few things you could do to drive him insane, near the edge almost instantly. So it took just a few pumps for you to be filled with Jake’s warm liquid, his orgasm hitting strong as he threw his head back, choking in between a long, delicious moan. He held you still, his dick deep into you as his body shuddered, hips stuttering while he enjoyed his overwhelming pleasure. 

With a hiss Jake released you from his grip, removing his length slowly, eliciting a discontent whine from you since not only you didn’t cum, but also felt the immediate lack of fulfillment and the feeling of his seed dripping down your legs. His hooded eyes were blurry, but he caught a brief view of it together with your slightly bruised skin before dropping his exhausted body onto the bed. Hot.

You quietly watched as he laid near you, how his chest rose and fell heavily, the known silver necklace moving together with it; you took the opportunity to come back to yourself, regulating your own breathing and regaining control of your body – deep down you knew Jake was just getting ready to give you your own climax. However, a mischievous plan popped into your mind and you couldn’t let it slide so easily, not when you finally had the chance of hearing him screaming your name without fearing your brother. 

“Lemme ride you,” you muttered suddenly and moved to position yourself on top of Jake, hands finding support on his torso, straddling with a knee on each side of his body.

“Babe, wait a bit–” He said within a frown, but not really doing anything to stop you; he just rested his palms on your waist, watching you grab his slightly softened shaft to align on his lower stomach. “Doll, please–” When you wiggled your hips to fit your wet, warm folds in his cock and started to deliberately grind, he nearly screamed. “Please, stop–”

Your eyes darted over his contorted face, not halting your movements as you did so, a soft moan leaving your mouth.

Such a lustful sight. Jake had his beautiful and swollen lips parted, silent, whispered pleas escaping it as his brows furrowed deeper; eyes closed tightly, cheeks flustered and breaths coming out ragged, mixed with airy moans that only intensified as you started to rut back and forth faster.

“Please, babe, ‘m sensitive–” 

Jake felt his head spinning, quite literally as he squirmed and abstractly, nonsense words cutting through the thick air, because, God, it felt so strangely good to be overstimulated by you. 

“Do you want me to really stop, Jakey?” You asked sweetly, yet a bit concerned that he was actually not enjoying it as you leaned forward to suck the skin of his sensitive neck.

He moaned. Like, really moaned and shook his head frantically.

“Mhm, fuck–” You lifted your body again just in time to catch his eyes rolling and fluttering close. “D–Don’t you dare to, fuck, to stop–” 

You kept on rolling your hips with a grin dancing on your lips. Jake’s sensitive tip touched your clit even so often, provoking your body to spasm a little. You aimed to get him hard again, so you could finally fuck yourself and achieve your orgasm, and because of the earlier interaction of your bodies you weren’t that far from coming.

Jake opened his eyes lazily, taking in the view of your exposed chest that quickly was being abused by his big hands, pinching your hardened nipples and kneading the soft flesh of them. You threw your head back, mouth falling open with the feeling of Jake touching almost everywhere.

At some point, Jake’s length was completely stiff beneath you and you took no time to position you in your pulsing hole, sinking in one go that had you and Jake throwing heads back with loud moans. 

Your breath was irregular when you propped your hands on each side of Jake’s face, starting to bounce in an unwavering pace that, together with the way you locked eyes with Jake, fierce and full of determination to finish, got him moaning within a smirk, proudly.

“Look at you,” Jake cooed at you, his voice hoarse, hands raising to tenderly tuck a strand of hair behind your ear to give him the full view of your pleasant contorted face.

“Yes, that's it,” he encouraged, sliding his fingers down your sides, squeezing it mildly; his lips stretching into a bigger smirk when you started to whimper and clench around his length. “Ride it, baby. Use me to get yourself off.”

And so you did, speeding up your rhythm as you chased desperately for your own release and consequently led Jake towards his – he was extra reactive due to the overstimulation, so at that point he was practically holding himself back not to cum again, craving to keep on feeling your tight walls squeezing his dick and eventually you creaming it.

Jake was big, hard and deliciously leaking inside you, his tip reaching your g-spot with ease and constancy, enough to make you start to scream as your moans grew louder. When his slender fingers found their place on your clit, rubbing fast circles to help you out, you couldn’t help but close your eyes with your mouth agape, a blender of whimpers and whines melodically falling from your lips as your arms began to fail to hold you in that position, making you slightly falter forward.

“J–Jake– ugh, fuck, so fucking good–” You stammered amidst cries of pleasure, feeling the coil in your low stomach teasing a strong build up.

At the same time your thighs began to burn, frustration emerging together with your desperation to cum, your own body betraying your release as you wavered the pace. Within seconds Jake took notice of how exhausted you were starting to act, and in no world he would let his girl down, so to maintain the same posture he propped his legs up, feet planted on his bed as he whispered for you to stop for a second.

“Just… Trust me,” he mumbled after seeing your confused face while letting go of your sensitive bundle of nerves from his skilled fingers to grab your ass, full hands in each cheek, holding you still as he started to push himself upwards.

You rolled your eyes quite instantly, letting your body fall onto his, your face finding its place on the curve of his pretty neck, where you started to pant and messily kiss in between your heavy breaths. Jake was leading the entire moves, pushing you down and pulling him up, heavenly deep. 

Each desperate, frantic, urgent thrust was leading you closer to your climax; you could sense it was going to be a strong one, and your whiny moans gave it away for Jake, who found himself teetering the edge as well.

“Close– ‘m close– So close–” He cried, feeling his dick leaking precum already. 

With a snap you let it go completely, your body shaking in uneven spasms as your juices fully coated Jake’s length within a long, striking moan. His own release followed yours, since your clenching cunt and the lewd wet noises as he rode you through your high left no room for any sanity or self-control. 

Jake’s big hands squeezed the flesh of your ass, shoving his cum inside you and the rhythm slowly faltered, hips stuttering as the last waves of pleasure coursed through both of you.

The room suddenly shrank as you both started to deliberately drift away from the blissful raze of raw arousal, nearly gasping for air as you did so. 

“Don’t pull out,” your words sounded more slurred than you expected, but the sweet silence in the air helped Jake to understand you, still experiencing the aftershocks of his orgasm.

“Holy.” 

It was everything he managed to say before the quietness took over again. You felt Jake caressing your bare back, slowly and tenderly, filled with an affection you wanted to receive only from him, fluttering the butterflies in your belly.

Eventually he was stroking your hair and hugging you close, his length still inside of you, prolonging the amazing sensation of being full. And somehow, you fell in love even harder.

“So that’s what freedom tastes like?” You heard Jake mumbling against your ear after a while, his honeyed voice cutting through the air kindly, and a tired laugh escaped your lips.

You couldn’t help the small sting in your heart as you heard the question, afterall, none of those escaping and hiding moments would be happening if he wasn’t your brother’s best friend. You wanted to be able to love Jake openly. And hoped he could love you back just as much. 

“Yeah…” You whispered within a broken smile that Jake didn’t catch. 

“I may grow addicted to it.”

Jake wanted you to stay for the night, caring little to nothing about whatever could happen if Sunghoon and Heeseung found out. But you weren’t worried about them that much, you could easily coax your way out of it. 

You were frightened of your brother. 

So after a soothing warm shower to calm your nerves and with Jake reassuring you that the excuse you had created was perfectly convincing, you headed back, praying for Jay to be sleeping already or, even better: not at home. 

You moved as quietly as possible, trying not to make a sound while unlocking the door, like a teenager sneaking in after breaking curfew, heart racing in anticipation of being caught.

It was so weird to have that feeling, to hide things from your brother, the one you trusted blindly because he would never judge you. Still, the situation was fragile, unusual. It was a new territory where if you pushed too far, the consequences could be far worse than you were prepared to handle.

Jake somehow eased your stirring anxiety with his sweet words and calming voice when he embraced you in a last comforting hug before you left. 

“He would never be mad at you, darling.”

With Jake’s voice whispering tenderly in your head like a mantra, you finally opened the front door, stepping into the darkness of your apartment. 

A deep sigh of relief escaped as you closed the door behind you, careful not to make a sound, the faint click of the lock triggering a shiver that quickly vanished as you realized you might be alone. You could practically feel how your tensed shoulders loosed as you started to casually slip off your boots.

“So, how was it with Jake?”

You froze in place, back turned to where the voice came from.

Jay.

The lights suddenly turned on, but you had no courage to turn and face your brother, especially after feeling the burning sensation on your back that told you he was staring unwaveringly. The question hung in the air, thick and tense, as much as your body began to feel right after. His voice wasn’t accusing, but it still carried an underlying heavy weight you feared to understand completely. 

"It was fine," you forced out, trying to keep your voice steady, but it came out thin, shaky. The lie tasted bitter on your tongue as you unfortunately became aware it wasn’t enough to fool him. Not anymore. “W–We studied sound waves and… Watched a documentary. About it. He ordered food too… It was… Cool.”

Your sentences were barely coercive. Unstable, insecure, because your mind was no longer working properly.  Telling blatant lies was something you never imagined yourself doing to Jay, and you certainly couldn’t consider yourself good at it at all. 

Still, you pushed through, trying your hardest to sound convincing, desperately hoping to make it through the day. Your body was screaming for a proper rest, drained from the adrenaline and energy spent earlier that Jay was oblivious so far.

Maybe the next day would be easier – maybe confronting Jay wouldn’t feel so impossible.

“Yeah?” Jay muttered and you finally turned on your heels to look at him.

He was leaning on the wall, smiling – but not a very pleasant smile. He had his hands shoved inside his trousers’ pockets, jaw clenched, eyes fierce, cutting through you as if he read your deepest secrets. You gulped nervously, hands starting to tremble; you could feel your heart pounding in your eardrums. 

“Did he teach you about sound waves while you screamed his fucking name?”

Your instant reaction was to almost mutter a quiet and confused “how did you know?”, your face dropping as the panic started to crawl in your skin. You just got caught and you had nowhere to run.

“Did he tell you two were alone, Y/N?”

Your heart dropped to your stomach immediately as he questioned and started to walk. Each step Jay took towards you felt like a heavy drumbeat, as if time had slowed down painfully, weightening the atmosphere absurdly, grounding you way too much; it felt as though heavy shackles with iron balls were bound to each of your feet, holding you in a way that left you suffocated and powerless. Excruciatingly overwhelming. 

“Because you probably were.” He stopped in front of you, his nostrils moving within each ragged breath. You could picture the haze of pure anger his mind got lost through his fierce eyes, eyes that never left yours. “During the first hour.” He added between gritted teeth and you shivered, your eyes widening as you took a step back, fearing falling because as realization hit, you practically felt the ground being pulled from beneath your feet.

There was no way Jake had lied to you, right? Leading you into a trap just to ruin your relationship with your brother. Why would he do that? You couldn't believe it, because that wasn’t the Jake you knew – it wasn’t the Jake who had just asked you to be his girlfriend with eyes shining with passion before giving you one of the most heartfelt kisses you had ever experienced. Jake wouldn’t do that.

How did your brother find out, then?

Jay shook his head slightly, his expression hardening further before a bitter, dry laugh escaping his pursed lips. He saw the look of disbelief in your eyes, the shock written all over your face and he read it precisely.

"No, Jake didn’t tell me,” he explained briefly to your racing thoughts. “He just didn’t know Sunghoon would be home earlier than expected."

Jay, though clearly upset, spoke with an edge of reassurance. His voice was low, barely concealing the tension and irritation simmering beneath it, still, worried about you.

A cold wave sprang in your chest as the realization struck like a bolt of lightning, your body quivering with fear and your wide, glistening eyes teasing to collapse in tears. You felt exposed. Vulnerable. Your secret was no longer a secret, and you instantly cursed yourself for holding it secretly to begin with.

Stupid, dumb, idiot.

Jay took a deep breath and you, another step back, trying to run away from the radiating rage coming out of his frightening presence. Jay was bigger and taller than you, and right at that moment, you felt even smaller.

“Do you have any idea of what it's like to find out that my little sister is screwing around with my best friend? And worse – hiding it from me?”

Jay didn’t yell, in fact his voice was dropping an octave, low as possible, and was more than enough to leave you on the verge of crying, your eyes stung, averting his angry ones. You lowered your head.

“I'm sorry, Jay, I–”

“Wasn't thinking correctly? Didn't think I'd find out? Cut off with your lame excuses, Y/N.” 

It was the first time Jay talked to you with such a cold tone, sharp as a knife, yet quiet. Something about the fact that he was mad, and still had a lowkey calm voice triggered the worst on you. 

“You lied to me, Y/N. Lied.” His voice faltered, but only for a moment. The raw emotion in his words was enough to pierce through the façade he had been trying to maintain, his eyes glimmering with tears, bringing the worst from your own feelings towards the situation.

Your breath hitched, the sting of betrayal and guilt washing over you. Unfortunately though, Jay wasn’t finished. 

“We promised not to lie to each other, Y/N. And you broke that promise.” His eyes burned into you, like they were seeing right through the walls you had built to shield yourself, the same barriers Jay once helped you to create, to feel stronger before the ones who tried to destroy your dreams. To destroy you.

For seconds, you saw your parents on Jay. For a brief moment, you pictured your younger self being scolded for your small mistakes and decisions, never being good enough. For the slightest millisecond, you hated your brother.

“Go to your room.”

You lifted your confused eyes only to see Jay cleaning his tears with the back of his hand. 

“Are you grounding me?” You asked quietly, but a hint of angriness stirred to snap out. 

Jay chuckled again, humorless. “No,” he gave you a last look with a mild head shake. “I just can’t see you now,” his sincerity was like a slap on your face. And you had no doubt that receiving one would hurt way less. “And you’re old enough to know you’ve fucked things up big time.”

Saying you cried all night would be an understatement. Having feelings for Jake now felt like a bittersweet ache, hard to swallow and to have close to you. You couldn’t help but get into a spiral of darker thoughts.

Was it worth it?

part 2

[missnxthingg]

I CAN'T LIE TO YOU ✮ LN4

pairing: Lando Norris x bestie!Reader (childhood best friends to lovers) summary: Lando Norris decides to surprise his best friend after being a long time away from home. What she didn't expect was that he had a big secret that he couldn't share with her words: 4.5K - warnings: swearing, suggestive content & not proof read author's notes: I'm back once again! Now you just know I'm a sucker for childhood besties to lovers. Also, I may have already started writing a part two for this one... let me know if you want it!

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The days in England have become more boring with time. Y/N was losing her mind over the repetitive routine that follows the life of a college student. Work, study, beer with close friends and bed. So when her mother invited her for a family dinner, she worried about how excited she got with the event. It wasn’t supposed to be anything special, just her parents and a few of their close friends gathered to catch up over nice food. 

Coming home felt way too good. It’s a feeling most college students get when they go back to their hometown, leaving their crappy flat in university to be served with their parents pampering during their quick visit. Y/N was supposed to be back to her place in just a couple of days, but she felt satisfied to be in a different place than the four walls of her house. Not to mention that she was having a good laugh with everyone at the table.

Her mother always takes dinner parties to another level, serving the best food in her special crockery, saved for moments like this. So Y/N packed a nice new outfit; a cute long-sleeved dress that looked perfect with tights and heels. Not that the guests cared about how she was dressed, but it felt nice to look beautiful and all put together for once after months of hoodies and leggings.

As usual, her parents invited the Norris family, as they’ve been the best of friends for the longest time. Not only they lived next to each other for years back when she was younger, all of their kids were really close friends with Y/N. But the spotlight always goes to Lando, who is the same age as her, making them grow up attached to the hip.

They all grew up going to the same school, not to mention that she would always tag along in Lando and his brother’s karting sessions, having the best time watching them drive flawlessly on tracks. He always enjoyed the times when she’d steal her parents cameras so they could make some homemade videos of their time together. Or when they would sit back, watch their dads play golf every Saturday and share candies in the cart. 

  Y/N and Lando have been inseparable since the age of four, growing up side by side, going through everything together. She was so important to him that, when he joined Formula 1 and had to choose a number to race, he chose the age the two of them had become friends. 

“The number four is for my best friend, Y/N. She was the one to suggest it, and the meaning behind it is very cute. Actually, I don’t want to tell you to not spoil anything, but I can only say that it’s very dear to my heart”, Lando said once in an interview during his second season in F1, making every single one of his fans curious about the meaning.

But it’s been a while since the infamous duo had been together. They supported each other from afar; Y/N sometimes joining him for race weekends and Lando coming back to see her on birthdays and weekends in London, while he visited the McLaren factory. But the last time they had been together was four months ago, during summer break, when he dragged her to join him for his crazy trips around the world. When racing and university was back on, they lost a little bit of touch; almost no calls and only a few texting breaks so they wouldn’t fall apart.

A lot happened in those four months. Lando had a new gorgeous girlfriend; a model who everyone had become obsessed with her TikTok videos for beauty tips. They had been seen together a few times around the world, her joining him for the races and a lot of make-outs behind DJ booths at parties. Y/N, on the other hand, was lacking in the dating department. But the friends she made over the past year made everything worthy. After years of pretty much having Lando as her only very close friend, she finally found new people to go out and have fun as a normal 20-year-old.

With that, Y/N and Lando’s friendship got weird. He had been avoiding her for a while, with the excuse of being too busy with racing, but actually not wanting to talk about his personal life with someone who knew him like the palm of her hand. Meanwhile, she was having a good time with her friends to be bothered by anything. But lately, life had become more boring and Y/N felt like having Lando back would bring some more fun into her life again, with all the epic parties and the good times they always managed to happen.

“Only one month left”, she thought, as winter break was approaching, meaning that Lando would finally be free to come home for the holidays.

She was pushed out of her thoughts by Adam Norris, who now seemed interest in Y/N’s life after a long catching up with her dad. “Tell us more about college! Are you having fun? Learning anything special?”, he asked with a kind smile.

“Oh, I’m graduating this spring, so it’s been… rough”, she chuckled. “But everything has been amazing, you know? The internship is so cool and the people are nice as well”.

“I just can’t believe it will all be over soon”, his wife, Cisca, responded. “It feels like it was just yesterday when you joined uni and Lando started his first season in F1. Time really flies, uhm?”

Every mention of his name made Y/N smile like a fool. But lately, it has been accompanied by a ting of pain on her chest. God, she missed him so much.

“What is it that you miss?”, Cisca asked, pulling Y/N out of her thoughts. Shit, did she say that out loud?

“I said I missed your pie so much, Cis. You know I have always loved it growing up”, Y/N tried to cover it up by stuffing her mouth with the cheesy pie, trying to keep her thoughts of being spoken out loud. But something caught her by surprise.

“Yeah, mum’s pie is the best in the world, isn’t it?”, a male voice said from behind her, one that she hadn’t heard in person for a while. Her eyes widened when she realized who it was, only to turn around and see Lando standing right behind her tugged into his signature comfortable hoodie, with a giant smile plastered on his face, and a bouquet in his hands. “Surprise!”

Y/N brought her hands up to her mouth, trying not to cry at the sight. She couldn’t believe what was standing in front of her. So she jumped out of her seat and jumped into his arms, not caring about anyone else in the room or the flowers being crumpled up in his hands. Lando buried his nose in her hair, taking in her scent, making him feel at ease for once

“What are you doing here?”, she leaned back, holding his face between her hands. His soft eyes looked down at her, his smile never faltering.

“I thought I could surprise my best girl”, he admitted, digging one of his hands into her hips, making her securely close to him. “I had a break before the end of the season, and it had been so long…”

“Shut up, you idiot. I just want to hug you”, she cut him mid-sentence, burying her face in his neck, making his smile even wider, if that was possible. Everyone on the table laughed at her reaction, but let them have their moment after months without seeing each other. It felt too good to be true. 

“I missed you so much”, he whispered in her ear, pressing a small kiss to the top of her head.

“I missed you too. Welcome home, Lan”, she leaned back and kissed his cheek, making it tinted red. Lando was so cute when he blushed. “You brought me flowers! How cute is this?”

She took the giant bouquet filled with red and pink roses out of his hands, bringing it close to her body. “It’s an apology for not being here as much as I should”, he said, making her heart so warm with the thoughtful gift.

“You being here is enough”, she pressed another kiss to his cheek and quickly pulled him for another hug. They just couldn’t get enough of each other.

“Alright, we all know you both really miss each other, but you can catch up after dinner. Food is getting cold and poor Lando must be starving”, her mother cut them off, making Y/N look back at the table, her face burning in embarrassment. He laughed at her behavior and pulled the chair next to her so they could sit together.

Through the whole dinner, Lando told all of his amazing stories traveling the world, leaving all the ‘best friends only’ parts for later, when he would be alone with Y/N. She felt so happy to finally have him by her side, making fun of her table manners, resting his hand on her knee and cracking any bad jokes just to see her roll her eyes. And even though he lived those many adventures, Lando knew life couldn’t get better than having his favourite person in the world back on his side.

“So, Lando, what finally brings you back home?”, Y/N’s father asked, making him shrug.

“You know, the championship could’ve been better and I feel really tired, you know?”, Lando searched for his best friend’s hand under the table, entwining their fingers once they met. Then he looked at her with an adoring smile on his face. “I just need some recharging. Thought I could use some home time before the last few races of the year”.

“You’re always welcomed to recharge in our house if you want to, Lando”, her mother said before the conversation was taken somewhere else once again.

While everyone else chatted, Y/N and Lando updated their phone gallery with new pictures of them. A lot of cute selfies and pictures of their homemade dinner which soon found their place on their Instagrams.

y/username

liked by landonorris and 3,419 others

y/username: always feels good to have my best friend back in the house

tagged: landonorris

landonorris Besties reunited LFG!

↪ y/username you’re such a bore

fanacc1 FINALLY SOME Y/N AND LANDO CONTENT

fanacc2 Wasn’t him dating a model?

↪fanacc3 He is, but Y/N is his childhood best friend

fanacc4 ugh, if i was his gf, i would be so jealous of them together

↪fanacc5 I bet his girlfriend actually hates them

fanacc6 Does this mean more Y/N around the paddock?

The dinner was coming to an end with the delicious sweet treats they prepared for dessert. At that point, Lando and Y/N were just existing at the conversation. He slipped an arm around her shoulder and she found a comfortable spot to lean into him and keep sipping on her wine while they shared a slice of cake. But even though they were quiet, they surely weren’t tired. So as the rest of the adults continued with their chat, they took their glasses of wine to the backyard, just so they could have some alone time.

Lando chuckled when he saw what was still standing strong in her backyard. “You still have our old treehouse?”, he asked and she nodded excitedly. “Wow, it looks so much nicer than before”.

“It’s because I renovated it, you fool. Haven’t I told you?”, she asked, but Lando shook his head. “Oh my… you have to see this! Now it’s a grown up treehouse! Take a look”.

Y/N dragged him to the small construction and made him climb all the way up to the house. It changed a lot with the renovations. Their wall doodles from when they were little kids were preserved by a varnish coat on the wood. She also substituted the old toys for books and her collection of vinyls, making the place look extra cozy. There was even a table for afternoon tea and card games, a TV and a huge futon, with lots of cushions, so they could just lie down and spend the rest of the day hidden from the world.

“What a glow up!”, he joked. “I loved it. This is amazing”, Lando took a place next to the window, where the moonlight invaded the room. Y/N sat next to him and almost immediately pulled out her camera just to capture the moment. And just like old times, they had fun doing a tiny photoshoot together, only to be cut off by his mom, calling them from the ground.

“Are you coming, Lando?”, Cisca asked, making him look over to Y/N, who replied for him.

“I’m not letting him go anywhere, Cisca”, she joked, throwing her arms around Lando, making his mother laugh. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of your son”.

“Have fun you two”, they waved at her and sighed after finally being left alone for a proper catching up between best friends. Lando had a satisfied smile on his face and he felt so calm at that moment. He threw both of his arms around his best friend and hugged her tightly.

“Home, at last”, his cheek was pressed on the side of her face, making her giggle with the contact. “I want to know everything going on with you. Just blurt it all out. I owe you this”.

“Oh, nothing great happened”, she shrugged. “Nothing that you didn’t know already. The internship is nice, but it’s coming to an end soon and I’m not sure they’ll keep me with them. And college is almost finished, so that’s kind of bittersweet”.

“I thought you were excited to have a degree”, he said, making her sigh. “Are you not happy about graduating?”

“Of course I am. You more than anyone knows how important this is to me”, she answered. “And I made so many good friends and I’ve been having the best time with them. I know graduating will make us grow apart”.

“Endings aren’t always nice, uhm? But you have to look at the bright side of things”, he started. “You’re finally achieving something great and you managed to have a really good time along the way. Made friends and worked really hard to become the best professional out there. I’m so proud of you!”

Lando has always been her biggest supporter on pursuing her academic path. He remembers all the talks they had about her wanting to master in communications. While he didn’t get to finish school to up his game in racing, he was there for every step his best friend took until enrolling in university. So when they talk about it, he always has that beautiful proud smile on his face, to which Y/N loved seeing.

“Thank you”, she smiled shyly. “And what about you, Mr Worldwide? You’ve been everywhere these past months. How was it?”

“Oh, always amazing”, he beamed. “I got to see so many amazing places around the world. You would’ve loved all the clubs I went to. The DJ booths are amazing. Oh, and the golf courts… breathtaking”.

“Yeah, I saw all the pictures”, Y/N arched her brows and rolled her eyes. “You didn’t even bother on calling, telling me about your adventures”.

“Sorry, I lacked in that department”, he apologized. “Even though everything has been amazing, I’m so tired of this year. I could’ve done better on the track and the last few races have been exhausting. I knew that I needed to recharge before the last two races, so I came back to you”.

“It’s always a pleasure to have you home”, she ran her hand through his curls and smiled. Lando always saw Y/N as his home. She always brings him that sense of familiarity, and her absence in his travels around the world were taking a toll on him.

Not to mention that hiding a big secret from his best friend also wasn’t doing him any good.

“But I’m not here to talk about me. I want to know everything about you”, he poked her side with his index finger and smirked. “Anyone special appeared in your life in the past few months?”

“Please”, she rolled her eyes. “The last time I had a proper hook up was during our summer trip to Bali with that guy on the club”.

“Come on, it can’t be that bad”, he giggled, but Y/N’s face was burning in embarrassment.

“I had a few dates in the past months, but fuck me, they were annoying”, Lando laughed at her statement. “One of them found out you’re my best friend and spent the entire time asking questions about you. And the only guy who was actually decent came in his pants when we were making out in his car. Didn’t even get to touch me”. 

“Oh, poor you”, he giggled. “So no boy to be my new best friend? I mean, come on, we need more male energy in this friendship”.

“Sorry, Lan. No boyfriend this time”, she said. “You, on the other hand, started dating this gorgeous model and forgot to tell me about everything.”

And there she said it: the topic Lando had been avoiding the most throughout the whole night. He really didn’t want to talk about it with Y/N, because his big secret had been hiding right there. He knew he couldn’t, and didn’t want to, lie about anything to her. And he also knew that he really needed to vent about this secret with her as well.

Lando turned really quiet, and looked away, avoiding her eyes. “Don’t start now, Y/N. I mean, there’s not much to say, to be fair”, he mumbled.

“Come on, I want to know everything about the woman who stole my bestie’s heart”, she poked him, but Lando didn’t dare to look Y/N in the eyes. “I mean, everybody loves her and she seems sweet. Why don’t you want to tell me about her?”

“Because we’re not together”.

“What do you mean? I’ve seen the Instagram pictures and the gossip pages posting videos of you two kissing in the club. I thought you were becoming a thing”.

“Y/N, don’t push it”, he asked, his voice bargaining on his throat.

“Why don’t you want to tell me about her?”

“Because we’re not together, I told you”, he sighed. “She’s a PR stunt. She’s not my girlfriend, and it’s been consuming me from the inside ever since we started this little thing”.

Lando finally looked her in the eyes and Y/N saw them brimming with tears. As an immediate response, she rested a hand on his arm and waited until he was ready to talk more. He leaned into her touch and the tears started to stream down his face. He’s never one to cry for anything, so the tears meant that it was so much more than he was letting show. Her heart broke at the sight of her best friend.

“Is this why you look more tired than usual?”, Y/N asked and he nodded, making the tears fall harder. “Oh, Lan… Come here”.

She pulled his head to rest on her chest and Lando wrapped his arms around her, needing some sort of comfort. He didn’t say much for a couple of minutes after, feeling his heart aching on his chest. He wanted to talk about everything with Y/N, because he knew she would understand him. He always feels vulnerable and safe enough to talk about anything with his best friend. 

“Everything is so fucked up, Y/N”, Lando cried out. “God, I can’t take this fake relationship anymore. Do you know how disgusting it feels to pretend to be in love with someone you’re not? And to lie to everyone, hiding it from my parents. From you. I can’t stand it”

“I’m sure you have a good reason to be doing so”, she said, fingers running through his curls and making him sure that she was right there with him. Y/N felt his fingers clinging tighter onto her. “You’re just doing your job and that’s okay. This won’t last forever”.

“I feel so lonely, you know? I was doing so bad on the last few races and I missed home so much. I missed talking to my dad and hugging my mom. I missed making fun of my sisters and going for a drive with my brother. And I missed you so much. I wish I could just stay here for a long while”.

“Soon you’ll get to be here for as long as you want, baby”, Y/N pressed a kiss on top of his head and Lando sighed in comfort. It ached a little less with her there. “And we’ll get to spend so much time together. You can come over and we’ll have sleepovers. We can take the car, drive around and go clubbing until sunrise. Whatever you want”.

“God, it would be so easy if it was you”, he whispered, still holding onto her as if his life depended on it. What did he mean with that? Just those single words made Y/N’s heart skip a beat. Truth is, while her heart ached for her best friend, she was relieved he’s not in love with someone else. Did he have feelings for her? 

“You know, I looked over my so-called girlfriend one night while we were hanging out at the club and I wanted to shout to everyone that it was all an act. She’s like a solid reminder of how lonely I am all the damn time. It’s ridiculous”, he grunted. 

“Come on, look at me”, Y/N pulled his face to look up and held his head between her hands. “Lan, you are never alone, okay? Even if you feel like you are, and even if I’m not there physically, you know that I’m always with you. I’m right here”, she rested a hand over his heart, making him smile through his tears. “I've been in your heart since the moment we met”.

“I…”, he started, but couldn’t get to say the rest. After all this time, Lando was afraid that the next move would ruin their friendship forever. But looking her in the eyes, comforting him through this rough time, he knew she felt the same. “I love you, Y/N”.

She was expecting anything. ‘I know’, maybe. That was so much bigger than what she imagined. Lando had said he loved her countless times over the years they’ve known each other; after all, they grew up together, almost like brother and sister. But this time, it was different. Y/N knew it, and Lando knew it too.

Y/N was too stunned to speak, so he continued with his confession. “I always have, you know? And I only hid everything from you because I can’t lie to you. And because I thought you’d never look at me the same way if you found out”.

“Lando, I…” she stopped mid-sentence, trying to catch some air. “Fuck, this is a lot. Just wait a second”.

They giggled together and he leaned his forehead against hers. “It’s okay to not say anything right now. I just dropped a giant bomb on your lap. This wasn’t the way I wanted to confess to you, but I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore”.

“Are you saying this because you’re emotional? Because I swear to God, if you are, I’m gonna kill you for misleading me”, her eyes were brimming with tears and Lando whipped them away.

“I’m telling you the truth”, he assured. “I think I’ve loved you my entire life. With all the crazy things I’ve experienced in my life, you were the only constant. You’re home, Y/N”.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”, she asked and he took a deep breath.

“Because I was afraid of losing you. Scared this might ruin our friendship somehow”, he admitted. “You’re the most precious thing in my life. Do you know how scary it is to fall in love with your best friend when you’re just a kid? And then grow up, and those feelings never go away, just getting stronger every day. I just didn’t want to lose you”.

“You weren’t going to lose me, Lan”, her eyes softened at his confession and now he was the one wiping her tears. Y/N brought him back for a hug and even though he didn’t have an answer, deep down he knew she felt the same.

“I’ve loved you since we were four. There’s a reason why I always carry this number with me”, Lando confessed. “God, look what you do to me. I never cry”.

“You only cry for the important things”, she reminded. “That’s why I love you, Lando. I’ve been in love with you for my entire life too, idiot”.

His eyes widened as he looked up to her, who had a smirk plastered on her face. “Can I kiss you?”, Lando asked, but before she could properly shake her head in agreement, he crashed his lips into hers. He needed to be home, and Y/N has always been home for him. It was the most intense kiss they ever had, like years of lingering had finally paid off for both of them.

Lando pulled her closer with a hand on the back of her head. She wrapped her fingers around his neck, smiling into his lips. Then, as if it wasn't enough, he pulled her to sit on lap, making them closer somehow. She slowed down the pace, making the kiss needier and more delicious. Lando even let out a satisfied throaty moan, his heart speeding on his chest. Her touches made him feral, knowing that after years of pinning, he finally had his dream girl.

“Thank you for this”, he whispered against her lips, a wide and satisfied smile on his face. “Thank you for all the years, all the times you've been here for me, to tell me everything is going to be alright.”

“Always, Lan”, she played with the hairs on his nape. “I love you so much”.

“I love you too. So much”, he left one more peck on her lips before hugging her again. “I don't know what I'd do without you”.

“Yeah, me too”.

The story of how they fell in love with each other was long, but beautiful. Lando and Y/N sat in that tree house all night and shared all of those stories with each other. And for a second, he really believed everything was going to work out. After all, if he had Y/N, Lando would be just fine.

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

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[deanwinchestersbabygirll]

Last Christmas

-warnings// a little angst, lots of fluff, mention of slicing and finger nail removal

-lil summery// basically based in season 3 episode 8 just with our favourite character... Y/N!

Dean x reader

word count// 6960

(gif from pinterest)

"You didn't see anything at all ma'am, any flickering lights?" You asked the scared women "what would flickering lights have to do with my missing husband?!" Mrs Walsh asked frustrated "what we mean Mrs Walsh is that any detail you can recall even something as small as the lights flickering or even a strange  or unsettling smell could help us find out What exactly happened to your husband" dean swooped in behind you 

Mrs Walsh sighed sadly as she tried to go over the night "I'm sorry I don't remember anything other than my husband being dragged from bed, whoever took him knocked me out- I just I don't know what I'm gonna tell my kids I mean come on Christmas is right around the corner and they have to spend it without their dad?" She cried as her sobs shook her body

You pulled her to the side slightly to calm her "Mrs Walsh I assure you that we'll do everything we can to find out what happened to your husband, I'm so sorry this happened to you and your family" you said handing the weeping women a tissue "thank you agent page" she smiled and headed back into her home.

"Alright so doesn't seem like it was a demon, you guys have any ideas?" You asked the boys on the way to the motel "I'm not sure but I found a tooth  in the chimney so it seems that's where Mr Walsh was taken out from,  I'll start researching when we get back" Sam replied

The car ride was filled with a comfortable silence as you took in the scenery of Michigan in December, all the decorations surrounding the town of Ypsilanti.

"Alright I've looked through everything and I keep coming back to same idea" sam said "great what have you got?" You asked sitting next to him on the dingy couch "it's gonna sound crazy but-" Sam was cut off by deans loud laugh "Sammy, what do you think you could possibly say that would sound crazy to us?" You chuckled as Sam sighed a smile curling on his lips "alright… Evil Santa" 

"...alright ya got me, that's crazy" dean crossed his arms across his chest as he leaned against the wall "i don't know Dean, we hunt some crazy shit" you said turning to look at the older Winchester, he smirked moving toward the couch, taking a seat next to you and pulling you into him "I guess your right sweetheart, alright Sammy tell me what your thinking" 

You laid your head to rest on your boyfriends hard chest as you listened to Sam ramble on about his theory of krampus, Dean ran his rough hands up and down your side and pulled you closer so you were sat on his lap rather than the two small for you and two oversized Winchester men 

You felt yourself gently drifting off to the sound of deans heartbeat and the distant sound of his gruff voice "well I'm just saying what the lore says..." Sam defended as dean shut down the idea of evil Santa "dude Santa doesn't have a brother... there is no Santa" he said his hand coming to rest on the top of your hip, his thumb rubbing small circles on the warm exposed skin of your hip

"I seen a little Santa village on the way here, it's not that far why don't we go and scope it out" you sleepily suggest "good idea let's head out" Sam said moving to get up you sighed out a huff as you pulled from the warm embrace of your boyfriend, Dean wrapped his arm around your shoulders as you headed to baby "your in the back Sammy" he said as the younger Winchester went to open the passenger door, Sam sighed as you giggled jumping in and moving to sit next to dean as he pulled you close to his side, the comforting smell of pine and gunfire engulfed you immediately as the impala purred to life.

You and the boys walked through a very.. . Questionable looking Santa's village "this place sucks I thought it would have been more fun looking based on the town's decorations" you said as you looked around the crappy 'north pole' "yeah kinda makes the 'anti-Claus' theory sound more realistic doesn't it" Sam replied 

Dean clapped his hands together happily as turned to you and his brother "hey speaking of Christmas, we should have one this year" he said and you felt your body go rigged, you've been with  Dean for over 2 years and not once in those two years did he express a want to celebrate the holiday other than a few small gifts. You knew he wanted to do this because it would be his last Christmas he gets to spend you and Sam and it's tearing you apart knowing each day gets closer and closer to the end of deans year

Swallowing hard as you felt your throat grow extremely dry, before you can say anything Sam's scoffing "yeah no I'm good" Sam says and Dean continues to push "oh come on, we'll even get a little tree for the room and we can decorate it and then we can get a nice take out for dinner" "honestly I'm not really up for it either Dean" you confessed, finally gaining your voice back 

He looks at you a slight gleam of hurt on his face flashes "come on baby, it'll be fun, we can even watch home alone, I know how much you love that movie" dean said his eyes practically begging you to say yes, you give him a forced smile as you knew you had to cave, you wanted to remember these things with a happy memory with dean, even if right now your heart was breaking into a thousand pieces  "see Sammy, Y/N's in its two against one" Dean said as he wrapped his arm tightly around your waist, Sam turned his head toward you both and with a shrug of his broad shoulders "you guys do what you want I'm not doing it" he said and stalked away, "what a grinch" Dean whispered in your ear.

"You would think with how expensive this crap was to get in they'd have put on a better show" dean grumbled out as you all seen the disappointment on the kids in lines faces "I know... almost feels like our Santa here really is the anti Santa" you told him and dean nodded while Sam seemed to be in a daze. 

It was a few hours later and you and the boys were in the impala outside 'Santa's trailer waiting for him to make his move. You sat in the front next to Dean as Sam was fast asleep in the back, you'd hardly said a word to him as you stared out the window, head leaning against the cool glass as you felt his green eyes burning holes on the side of your head "everything okay?" Dean asked his voice low as to not alert his sleeping brother 

"Yeah I'm fine, just thinking..." you replied not looking at him "what are you thinking about sweetheart?" He asked gently grabbing your hand small hand in his much bigger one "just stuff, nothing to worry about honey" you told him leaning forward to give his plump lips a quick kiss in hopes to ease his worry, Dean would let it go for now but he was still worried about how different you were acting.

You started to drift off once again that day until you were startled by Sam's loud yawn " hey what time is it?" He asked stretching his longs limbs "it's one in the morning, haven't seen anything suspicious yet" dean replied his eyes fixated on the trailer door, just as he finished his sentence the 'Santa' was at the window looking around the quiet parking lot before shutting his curtains in a rush "alright it's show time!" you said jumping out of the car 

Dean ran to get to the trailer door infront of you always wanting to protect you from the darkness of the job in whatever way he can, Dean kicks the door open and the three of you have your guns drawn and aimed at the santa

"...roast my chestnut, egg my nogg" 

The tv played on in the backround as the 'Santa jumped to his feet his bong hitting couch in his hurry

You and the boys shared looks of shock before rushing to hide your guns "Silent night..." dean started off awkwardly and you and Sam quickly joined in "holy night, all is dry..." you grabbed both boys by their jackets and pushed them to the door before rushing into the car, Dean taking off quickly from the embarrassing situation.

The next morning you woke to deans arm being wrapped tightly around your waist as your head lay on his chest, your leg thrown over his hips, you tried to pull away gently as to not wake him, your small movements proved enough to wake the sleeping hunter as he gently opened his green eyes "where you going sweetheart?" He asked his voice deep and raspy from just waking up  "I'm starving so I was gonna go get us some breakfast and coffee" he hummed and pulled you back down to him "ten more minutes then we'll go" dean said kissing the top of your head

"Guys come on we gotta go there's been another attack" Sam announced as he came back into the room, Dean sighed dramatically "I'm going to end the son of a bitch for messing with my sleep" dean threatened making you giggle "alright let's get going we'll stop for something quick then go talk to the vics" you said leaning down to give your boyfriend a quick kiss to the lips before rushing to get dressed.

You sat in the back of the impala drinking your coffee as Dean drove to the Caldwells, you couldn't help but feel your heart sink deeper with each passing day as you stared at your boyfriend through the rear view mirror, Dean was already catching your eyes sending a worried smile your way at the look of your tear filled eyes that you refused to let fall, he raised his brows as to silently ask if you were okay and you nodded quickly changing your gaze to the window as the blur of Christmas decorations blurred with deans speed.

" so ma'am your son explained to you that he saw Santa take his dad up the chimney?" You questioned the sorrow filled women, she nodded holding her arms close to her body in defence motion "that’s what he told me, yes" she replied 

"And where we're you Mrs Caldwell?" Dean asked and the women gave him a strange look of confusion "I was asleep and then all of a sudden I was being dragged from my bed and then i was knocked out, It just happened so fast" she cried

You placed your hand on her arm and smiled in understanding "I understand how hard this must be Mrs Caldwell, I could never imagine the pain and confusion your feeling right now, do you need to take a little break from the questions?" You asked her and she shook her head "no I'm alright thank you detective, I just want this to all be over with so my husband is found and brought home safely to us" she smiled sadly

"Did you happen to see anything of the attacker, maybe hair colour,  height, anything strange?" Dean asked and she shook her head instantly "no I didn't see anything it was so dark and it was just a blur" 

Sam looked around as you and Dean continued to talk to her "yeah so Mrs Caldwell, do you remember where you got that wreath?" Sam asked and the women grew angry as you and Dean sent him looks of question "excuse me!" She demanded "it's just its very pretty" sam stuttered out "I don't give a rats behind about that wreath, I care about my missing husband so if we can stop with the questions and we can get on with finding him so my kids don't have to spend Christmas without their father, that would be greatly appreciated detective!" Sam nodded  "of course mrs Caldwell" 

"Of all the things to ask a grieving wife and mother, you ask about her Christmas wreath?please tell me you have a good theory that will make me forget how horrible that experience was" You asked Sam as you walked towards baby "think about it, that's not the first time we've seen that wreath here" Sam replied, "where?" Dean asked Sam intrigued "the Walshes!" You said quickly and Sam nodded "I don't think that's a coincidence considering the similarities".

Once you got back to the motel Sam quickly got on the phone with Bobby, "hey can we talk?" Dean asked grabbing your hand, you nodded and let him lead you to outside "is everything okay, since we got here you've been a little off, just like you're  shutting down" dean asked his eyes full of concern, you sighed and looked at the ground "I'm okay I'm just tired and can't wait to get this case over with" you lied but your lie detector of a boyfriend didn't buy it for a second "Y/N come on I wasn't born yesterday-" "no but your gonna be dead in a few months, then what?" You cut him off, feeling the lump in your chest grow bigger as your eyes stung with tears 

"Sweetheart I know your upset, believe me if there was any other way to bring Sammy back I would have done it, I love you more than anything and I promise I won't stop looking for a way out of this stupid deal" dean told you wiping the small tear that escaped down your check "it's just so hard knowing our time with you is limited, this is gonna be our last Christmas we can spend together, I just I- I don't know what I'm gonna do without you" you said fully breaking down at this point

Dean pulled you tightly to his chest, hugging you as you cried "I know it sucks baby, I know we never really did anything for Christmas before that's why I wanted to make this a good one so it could be thought back on as a happy memory of us three together" dean confessed as his own voice broke slightly "if I can't get out of this deal, I need you to promise me something... I want you to get out of this life, I want you to move on find someone that makes you happy, I want you to get married and have kids, I want you to have the apple pie life sweetheart because you deserve to be happy" dean said and you pulled back from his tight embrace to look at him, seeing he had a few tears of his own running down his checks

"Dean I can't, I could never be happy with any one other than you, you're the love of my life" you told him, he gave you sad smile "your the love of my life too sweetheart which is why I need to know your gonna be okay if I'm gone, please just promise me this... please" he begged, you nodded knowing you would never follow through, you would never love any one after Dean "I promise".

Dean and you stayed in that position for a while longer while you calmed yourselves before facing Sam "you ready?" Dean asked kissing your forehead, "yeah" you said your eyes feeling puffy and your voice sounding hoarse "I got Bobby, I was right he’s heard of it before, he said it's likely meadowsweet in the wreaths" Sam said looking up from his laptop, "what's wrong?" Sam asked when he seen your sad face "nothing Sammy it'll be alright" you told him, he turned his gaze to dean who's eyes remained on you "alright we'll talk about this later then.." Sam trailed off 

"So what's Bobby saying" you asked taking a seat on the couch  trying to get the focus of you "well other than calling us all morons, he told me the meadowsweet was used in pagan lore, mostly in their rituals" you and Dean shared a confused look "pagan lore, and what kind of rituals?" Dean asked taking his seat next to you 

"Well based on the research, meadowsweet was used like bait for their human sacrifices and the pagan gods would come basically chow down on the closest human" Sam said and your face twisted in disgust "Jesus what are we dealing with here" you said in disbelief "yeah it's pretty nasty stuff, when these family's have been putting the wreaths up it's basically an invitation for them to be killed and eaten" Sam told you "alright so how to do we stop it" dean asked his own face showing discomfort 

"I don't know" Sam told him and Deans eyes widen "Bobby working on a way to figure it out, until then, we're gonna find it" Sam said and you both nodded "alright our first step is to find out who's selling the wreaths... do you think they know what what they're selling?" You said  both boys shrugging their shoulders "I have no idea, I hope not" Dean said, Sam exhales loudly before clapping his hands "well let's go find out" 

Once you were in the parking lot Dean was wrapping his arm around your shoulders tucking you tightly into his side and throwing Sam baby's keys "your driving" Sam tilted his head in confusion before giving Dean a hard look "you are not making me drive so you two can make out in the back seat again!" Sam said quickly, Dean huffed "we're not gonna make out..." he trailed off looking at you shaking your head no "alright we're definitely not gonna make out while you drive...again" dean promised with a laugh before pulling you into the back seat with him and bringing you back to his side "step on it Sammy, we've got a monster to find" dean announced before the impala roared to life and Sam was tearing down the street. 

"Alright this place sells Christmas decorations let's try in here" you told the boys and walked in taking a look around "hi, can I help you folks?" the man at the counter asked "yeah I hope so, we were at the Walshes the other night for couples game night, and I couldn't keep my eyes off their Christmas wreath, it was beautiful and we were really hoping we could get one before Christmas, right honey?" You said a fake smile plastered on your face as you looked to dean "yeah that's right sweetheart, any chance you've got any of them left" dean continued your lie

The man looked confused "I'm sorry I see a lot of wreaths every day, could you be more specific?" You nodded "yeah, it was the most beautiful wreath, it had these green leaves and they had little white buds all over it" the man looked taken back "well aren't you a fussy one" the man said sarcastically , Dean gave the man a hard stare and went to tell him off before you cut him off "yeah I can be, just want the perfect wreath for our first christmas together in our new home" the man nodded and sighed "well it just so happens I know what wreath your talking about, they flew off my shelves in one day, every one loved them so I'm all out actually" sam gave the man a questioning look "the meadowsweet is actually pretty expensive why would you make wreaths out of it?" The man shrugged his shoulders "not a clue, I didn't make em" the man said in his gruff voice "oh really? Who did make them?" You asked him

The man turned to face you " it was Madge Carrigan, nice local lady, she told me these wreaths were so darn a special she was giving them to me, no charge" Dean chuckled knowingly "did you sell them for free too?" The man had a shocked look on his face "hell no, it's Christmas, people would spend money on damn near anything for any price if you slap Christmas in front of it!" The man said loudly looking at dean like he had three heads "that's the Christmas spirit, thanks for your time" you said grabbing Deans hand leading him toward the exit.

Later that night at the motel Dean and Sam were cleaning their  guns while you were in the shower "so what was going on earlier, you guys seemed pretty upset" Sam asked and Dean sighed "it's nothing Sammy we just had a little talk everything's fine" dean told him not wanting to talk about it "Dean come on man, you can talk to me, I'm your brother you don't have to hide anything from me" Sam said wanting Dean to talk "look Y/N was just upset about how much time I have left and when I kept pushing the Christmas thing it just made her feel worse so can we just not talk about it around her" dean said noting the sound of the shower turning off "yeah got it i won't mention it again" Sam said sadly, "alright, you boys ready" you asked coming out of the bathroom a little while later, both boys nodded.

"Alright I think this is the house" sam said "wow can't you just feel the evil" dean joked as he took in the many decorations surrounding the house, you and Sam rolled your eyes as you knocked on the door, a few seconds later a very jolly women opened the door "can I help you?" She asked "please tell me your Madge Carrigan? The genius who made the meadowsweet wreaths?" Dean asked, the women grew a big smile " why yes, that was me, they were most beautiful wreaths weren't they?" She said excitement oozing out of her "they were just beautiful, this one right here seen one the other day, and just hasn’t  stopped talking about it, ain't that right Sammy" Dean said pointing to his giant brother "... oh yeah, totally we were in the store the other day and seen them and they sold out just before we could get our hands on one" Sam told her feigning disappointment 

The women grew a sad look "oh fudge, that's horrible they are just the most sweet smelling wreaths!" She said you nodded your head "they were, we were so disappointed we couldn't get one ourselves, say, you wouldn't have any spares we could buy?" You asked and she kept her sad expression "oh I'm sorry dear, those were the only ones I had for this season, gosh I wish I could give you one!" She said and you held back a snarky 'yeah so you could eat us right up' remark "Mrs Carrigan. may I ask why did you choose to use meadowsweet in your wreaths?" You asked and a man came down in a cheerful sweater with an old fashioned pipe between his lips as she answered "why the smell of course, it's it just the sweetest smell dear?" She asked her husband 

"Oh it is! You haven't smelt anything sweeter than those Christmas wreaths!" The man said with a loud chuckle "definitely not sir" you faked a laugh with them "say would any of you folk care for some peanut brittle?" The man asked handing  the tub of candy out, you saw deans hand reaching for and quickly slapped it away "oh no thanks we're just on our way to dinner, don't want to ruin our appetites, anyway thank you for your time Mr and Mrs Carrigan, hopefully we snag a wreath next year" you say pulling both boys away "oh you will I save one specially for alll of you" Mrs Carrigan laughed as they closed the door, "well that was... disturbing" you said and both boys agreed before Sam was driving back to the motel.

Dean and you were sat on the motel bed sharpening wooden stakes to take out the evil pagans "you find anything yet sweetie?" You asked tossing and other finished stake to your pile before staring another "yeah, so get this, turns out Mr and Mrs jolly lived in Seattle last year, and right around Christmas time, there was a few abductions that took place, sounds identical to what's happening right now. And Bobby's sure that the evergreen stakes will kill them?" Sam asked  before shutting his laptop down, "Oh he's sure, so get helping big guy" dean said throwing Sam a stake to carve. 

It was nine o clock when you the boys were breaking into the empty house "hey look, the furniture still has the wrapping over it, they're obviously planning on ditching town as soon as possible" you said pointing your flashlight at the couch "that's creepy as hell" Dean said as you all made your way to the kitchen "hey guys over here!" Sam whispered loudly, you both went back over to find an unlocked door "must be the basement, let's check it out boys" you told them both as Sam lead the way down the basement, Dean walking behind you, both boys always being protective no matter what

"Oh my god that's disgusting" you said your flashlight pointed to 'santas sack' full of bones and body parts, the bag dripping blood "this places looks more like a butcher's than a freaking basement!" Dean as you took in the sight of blood and bones across the room, "I think there's someone in there!" Sam said worried as he saw the other sack moving, you all rushed to open it but you were grabbed from behind you screamed as the attacker lifted you off your feet 

"Y/N!" Dean yelled and rushed toward you Sam close behind his stake at the ready, you were slammed against the wall, Mrs Carrigan’s crazy  eyes meeting ours "it's very rude to break into people's home now isn't it" she sneered her hand tightening it's grip around your throat cutting off the air from your lungs blurring your vision “get your hands off her or I swear I'll blow your fucking brains out!" dean yelled his gun pointed at the women, Sam moving to sneak behind her with his stake raised before he was whacked in the back of the head, Mr Carrigan coming into view  "now, now it was awfully silly for you all to go snooping where you don't belong wasn't it" the man said slapping deans gun from his hand with unnatural strength "the hel-" dean started but was knocked out with a blow to the head by Madge. 

You stirred awake and looked around finding Dean sat in front of you tied to a chair, his head slumped to the side as he was out "Dean! Wake up" you called for him and heard shuffling from behind him "Y/N! Are you okay?" Sam asked worried "yeah I think so" you rasped out you throat feeling sore "what's going- Y/N! Sammy!" Dean moved quickly to start rushing to break out from the confinements of the ropes "looks like we're dealing with two pagan gods rather than one" Sam said 

"Oh look dear they're awake, goodness we thought you were gonna sleep right through the night" Madge said chuckling as she walked behind her husband "and what? sleep through the party? No chance" dean replied sarcastically "oh he's a funny man then. No boy, see what you lot are, is hunters!" Mr Carrigan  said looking  at all of us in disgust "yeah, and you're  pagan gods so how about we just forget about this and we go our separate ways" dean said and the Cardigans both shook their heads right away "not a chance, you would just go and call all your hunting friends, no your not walking out of here alive" Madge said cheerfully as she pulled out a knife and bowl 

"Guess you should have thought about that before you started eating people!" You demanded "oh don't be like that, we have pulled back from how much we used to eat, we used to take hundreds in a year, and now we only take what two or three?" She turned to her husband "well the three stooges here makes six dear" Mr Carrigan said as he walked to stand next to his wife "now that's not so bad is it, from hundreds to six people a year!" Madge said exasperated "oh well, when you say it like that... it's still horrible, your still monsters!" You said annoyed "you should be showing us some respect, your fate does lie in our hands now doesn't it, hunter" Mr Carrigan sneered at you in a threatening manner

"You touch a damn hair on her head and I swear I'll rip you limb from god damn limb" Dean threatened pulling at his restraints once again "well we're not the ones tied up now are we? so you ought to watch yourself" Mr Carrigan was in deans face as if to intimidate him "or what, your gonna eat us?" Madge perked up with a bright smile on her face "oh no, that comes later first we need to do the rituals" she announced clapping her hands together in excitement 

"Oh we do love a good ritual don't we Madge" the women nodded excitedly "nothing better than a gold ole ritual to get you in the Christmas spirit! We just need some-" "meadowsweet?" Dean questioned, Madge nodded excitedly "oh darn, your all out of your... special meadowsweet wreaths, guess we'll just have to cancel the whole ritual" you rushed out looking at dean who was already looking at you with a worried glint in his eye 

"Oh don't you worry dear, we have some special meadowsweet saved for such occasions!" Madge told you as she put wreaths around your necks "see now don't they look so, oh what's a good word... sweet" Madge said with a devious smile "sweet enough to eat!" Mr Carrigan said as he walked towards you with the knife and bowl "the hell are you doing! Get the fuck away from her" Dean yelled thrashing around in his restraints, Sam trifling against his own to help 

"We're starting with the loud mouth" Mr Carrigan said as he dragged the knife down you arm causing you to scream "Y/N!" "Get off her, I swear I'm gonna kill you, you fucking sons of bitches!" The boys both yelling

You felt slightly dizzy form the blood loss, but you've been hurt far worse than this so your able to stay awake "Can you believe how they talk to us Madge? We're gods! They should be bowing down to us and thanking us for this, it's an honour for you!" Mr Carrigan  said angrily leaning down to Sam "d-don't" Sam started before he yelled out in pain "Sammy!" You and dean yelled

 "you okay?" Dean questioned noticing your face screwed up in pain, don't worry about me I've been hurt worse than this" Madge came and stood before dean "now ya won't feel a pinch dear " she said before slicing down his arm Dean groaned in pain "you fucking bitch!" You screamed thrashing your legs trying to break them from their binds in order to lick the pagan god "oh watch your language in my house! She turned to you "when I really want to say bad words, ya know what I say… 'fudge' it's much nicer to say!" She said and you rolled your eyes "oh I'll try and fudging remember that!" You said exhausted with these peoples act 

"Where are the pliers Madge?" Mr Carrigan asked shuffling through the cupboards "third drawer dear" Madge replied as she placed the bowl of your mixed blood ok the kitchen counter "Ah delightful! I think we'll start with you" and Carrigan said as he came to stand in front of Sam "the hell are you gonna do to me!" Sam demanded, neither of them answered him as they started pulling his nail away, Sam yelled in pain as you and Dean yelled for them to stop "Get off him you fudging lunatics!" Dean yelled still trying to get out of his restraints "oh very good!" Madge said proudly to dean as she plopped  Sam's finger nail in the bloody bowl,

"Your turn" Mr Carrigan said as he looked at you with a sick smile "no- no please.." your begs were muffled as he put the pliers in your mouth and went to pull a tooth out "stop it!" Dean yelled 

Just as the evil pagan was about to rip your tooth out the doorbell rang, they shared a look of frustration before they stopped what they were doing and went to answer the door, leaving you and the boys alone 

“Alright we don’t have much time” Sam said before he was able to wiggle his arm from the restraint and grabbing the blood covered knife from the counter and cutting the rest of his ropes “how the hell did you get out of them” dean whisper yelled as Sam undid his restraints “he hit the rope on my wrist when he was cutting my arm, I just needed them to be distracted” Sam informed you both, as soon as deans restraints were done he was taking the knife from Sam and kneeling in front  of you “how you feeling baby?” He asked making you smile “I’m fine, let’s kill these bastards!” 

“We do apologise for that interruption, now let’s get back to the…” she trailed off turning to her her husband who matched her hard look before hearing a loud bang “careful you nearly took my hand off Dean!” They heard a male voice say from outside the door 

“Dude our evergreen stakes! They’re in the basement” dean said worried knowing the cupboard wouldn’t hold forever when he heard the yells and bangs from the kitchen as Mr and Mrs crazy tried to break free  “yeah I think I’ve got that figured out” you told them as they turned to see what you were staring at… the Christmas tree “god baby your a genius!” Dean said and walked towards the big tree, he started breaking the branches off, just as you each got your own weapons the cupboard snapped and the Carrigans were stood breathing heavy with red angry faces at the doorway

“Oh you rude little… I loved that tree!” She screamed as she rushed attack Dean, you punched her before she could get to him, she turned to give you a sinister smile as she spit a bit of to the floor, she tried to grab you by your neck once more but you were faster, riling to the side so the women stumbled, you heard a groan from beside you that causing your attention, seeing Mr Carrigan on top on dean was enough to distract you, giving the evil pagan the upper hand as she gripped you neck tightly, you scratched at her hands to get her off

As soon as it started it was over,her grip on your neck loosened as the women grew limp, you looked down to see the tree branch through her chest as you coughed uncontrollably , Sam was behind her shoving it in deeper “MADGE NO!” Mr Carrigan yelled, Dean stuck him with his own branch before shoving the limp body to the side and getting up “you two okay?” Dean asked rushing over, “I’m okay, bound to have a sore throat all next week considering lil ole Madge there seemed pretty into choking” you joked causing both boys to laugh “alright we better clean this crap up” Sam said already making his way toward the Carrigans body’s.

Dean had dropped Sam off at the motel while you two went to go grab some take out for Christmas dinner “this was a pretty nasty hunt wasn’t it” dean said and you turned to smile at him  “yeah it was, who’d have thought we’d find evil pagan gods” you joked and turned back to look at the open road, noticing dean slowing baby up and pulling into a dirt road

He turned to face you “hey, so I know you don’t want to do Christmas, and I get it, trust me I do, but I-” he stopped to take a deep breath before continuing “I got you this a while ago and was just finding the right time to give it to you, and now seems as good as any..” Dean confessed, reaching into his pocket to pull out a ring box revealing a beautiful diamond ring “dean?” You questioned tears in your eyes 

“I’m not proposing, we’ll i mean I kind of am, if I wasn’t in this deal sweetheart, I’d be on knee begging you to marry my ass but I don’t want to do that knowing there’s a chance I might not live to marry you, so I’m making a promise, a promise that if by some miracle I get out of this, you and me are getting married, we’ll do the whole nine yards because you deserve nothing better so my question is will you accept my promise?”” dean asked his voice shaky and full of fear as you had tears streaming down your face

You nodded and let out a teary laugh “yeah, I accept your promise Dean” you cried leaning forward to give him a wet kiss on the lips, you pulled apart when it became too hard to kiss because the two of you were smiling so hard “I love you so much sweetheart” he confessed leaning his forehead against yours “I love you too Dean”.

You and dean drive back to the motel after s few pit stops for food and gas, not being able to wipe the smile from your faces, not being able to stop admiring the small but beautiful diamond placed on your ring finger. 

You both walked into the the motel room hand in hand with burgers and fries in a bag, hearing jingle bells play softly in the background and Sam stood smiling at you both, you took in the room and noticed the little Christmas tree sat on the table and the eggnog “Sammy?” Dean questioned his smile growing bigger “what’s all this then?” Sam gave him an obvious look “it’s Christmas, well our Christmas” Sam replied handing you both a cup of eggnog

“Well let’s sit down get eating” Dean said as you all took a seat at the small motel couch “hey what’s that” Sam asked spotting the sparkle in you hand “we’ll we kinda got engaged, well a promise engagement” you told him showing the ring off to the younger Winchester who was smiling at you both “that’s amazing you guys!” He congratulated making you smile 

“I got you both something” Sam confessed pulling out two presents wrapped up in news paper “you didn’t have to do that Sammy” you said with a smile, “I got you something too” dean told him pulling out the presents you two both purchased, “oh wait don’t open anything! I have your presents in my bag” you said quickly running to your duffle and pulling out two cutely wrapped boxes “sweetheart when did you get these? I thought you were against CHRISTMAS at first?” Dean questioned when you handed him his present 

“I was against celebrating… under these circumstances but I always love presents” you told him sitting down once more you all opened you gifts, Sam had gotten you your favourite bottle of vodka, Dean had gotten Sam porno mags to which the younger hunter lit up at “no more pay per view for a while now” you joked, he also got him a bottle of shaving cream, knowing he ran out that morning… because he’d finished it off, Sam got Dean a bottle of oil for Dean and his favourite candy bar “hey, you knew just what I wanted man” dean told him opening up the candy bar 

The boys the  opened your gifts “Y/N, thank you I love it” Sam said moving to give you a hug after  he opened the box of his favourite cologne “no problem sweetie, I know how much you love that stuff 

Dean was next opening up his present “hey that’s awesome, a new gun to add to the collection” dean said excited looking at the silver pistol “hey it’s got my initials!” Thank you sweetheart, I love it” dean told you pulling you into a deep kiss.

You and the boys were all sat on the couch, you on deans lap cuddling into him as home alone played in the back ground, but you couldn’t really focus too much on the movie, only the man who was currently snoozing with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, thinking of every possible way to save him from his  fate, praying to anyone to save your boyfriend, for now you had to wait and just hope for the best, hope that your boyfriend wouldn’t be ripped to shreds by hell hounds, hope that someone, anyone could save him. For right now you were gonna relish in the feeling of his strong arms around you, of the feeling of his heartbeat, the sounds of his voice because deep down you knew, he couldn’t be saved from this, you just had to cherish the little time left with him. 

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ALL MY OWN WORK I DO NOT GIVE CONSENT TO COPY OR PUBLISH ON OTHER SITES , I.E WATTPAD, ETC, WITHOUT MESSAGING TO ASK FIRST

hi, its been a minute, currently rushing through ideas and trying to write for Sam and Cas but every idea just so happens to accidently turn into a Dean imagine (im sorry sam and cas people!) if you have any ideas you would like to see done please feel free to send in any requests x

[leonw4nter]

Are they? Are They Not?

Architect!RE2R!Leon x Boss!Reader

Tags - fluff, making out (it's short tho), office romance

“Good morning everyone! Picked up some coffee so we can all start the day right!,” Rebecca cheerfully chirps as she enters the office. She stops by everyone’s desks, placing paper cups of steaming hot coffee with their names before knocking at your door, the company’s COO. “Come in!,” you call out. She enters the organized office, spotting you sitting on your office chair and turning your work computer on. She notices a steaming hot paper cup on your desk, along with a brown pastry bag. “Got you some coffee but turns out you’ve already got a cup in. Oops,” she says with an apologetic grin. “It’s fine. I could use the extra caffeine anyways,” you respond with a polite smile. She leaves the cup on your desk before turning back to the door, walking out the office when she spots Leon come in.

“Mornin’ Leon!” “Good morning, Rebecca!”

Rebecca walks over to her desk and decides to officially start her day, answering emails and editing the current contracts that've been assigned to the company. Soon, the noise of chatter is drowned out by the clickity-clack of keyboards and ringing landlines. The morning can get busy very soon, not that they mind; the company does a swell job of making sure its employees are doing alright and are managing to balance their personal and work lives. People pour in and out of Y/N’s office, hoping to get her opinion or approval on a project before having their ideas sent to the CEO (aka Y/N’s dad). Most of the time, their ideas align perfectly so her approval could be seen as a sign that he’ll approve it too. It’s now break and everyone rises from their seats to stretch and get up to grab a bite.

“I’ll go ask Y/N if she wants to go grab lunch with us,” Leon offers just as Rebecca gets up. Rebecca nods before responding, “Okay. I’ll go join the others already.”

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

“She’s busy consulting with the engineers and said she's sorry and will make it up to everyone with drinks one of these days,” Leon explains before digging into a breakfast bagel. Despite it being lunch time, he prefers to have breakfast foods.

“Did she ask for help? I can help her out since I’ve got a blueprint or two to review then I'm done” Claire offers. Leon shakes his head but says that he thinks she’ll accept Claire’s offer anyway. The group continued chatting over their respective meals until it got to the topic of their coffee consumption.

“My brother is a beast– out here chugging protein shakes and coffee. I’m surprised he isn’t having a heart attack whilst I’m out here palpitating with two cups,” Claire pipes in.

“I don’t know what’s worse: your brother’s caffeine consumption or the sheer amount of sugar and creamer Rebecca puts in her coffee,” Jill jokes, earning a playful smack to the shoulder from Rebecca. “At this point it’s 99% sugar and a measly 1% coffee. How you’re not diabetic is beyond me!”

“Life’s too short to not absolutely go crazy with sugar and creamer, let me have my fun!,” Rebecca retorts and earns good-natured laughter from the table.

“How about you, Leon? How do you like your coffee?,” Claire asks.

“I’m not too picky with coffee. I’ll take anything,” Leon responds.

“Hmm. You’re just like Y/N; I just get her whatever kind of coffee and she always takes it,” Rebecca responds.

“Y/N? Oh she doesn’t like or drink coffee,” Leon corrects. Jill nearly chokes on her muffin when Leon says those words, eyes slightly widened. “Really? She’s the first person I have ever come across that doesn’t like or drink coffee.”

“But she literally accepted all the coffees I got for her!,” Rebecca says. “Wait… what if she just accepted them to look polite or nice–”

“Knowing her, she probably did that to not hurt your feelings or something…,” Jill softly says.

“She could’ve told me she doesn’t drink coffee. I would’ve gotten her a hot cocoa instead,” Rebecca says. “Guys, do I look intimidating? What if she just took the drinks because my outgoing-ness is intimidating her? We do know she usually keeps to herself too–”

“You’re the least intimidating person I know, Rebecca,” Jill responds. “She might’ve done that because she felt kind of bad… or something– I don’t know–”

“And how do you know that, Leon?,” Claire asks with slightly narrowed eyes, leaning into the table while resting her head on her hand.

Now everyone in the table is sitting in silence, curious gazes focused on Leon as to how he knows that. You've never talked about her preferences in food and drink– it’s not even on the company website. They don’t think it’s ever been mentioned anywhere.

“Oh, you know– we talk,” Leon responds with a neutral tone. “Oh my God Leon you almost got yourself killed! Calm down, calm down. They won’t catch on,” Leon thinks to himself.

“Talk? Talk like how?,” Jill asks.

“‘Talk’ as in we’re just coworkers who decided to strike up a random conversation whilst working on a blueprint that one time,” Leon says. He would’ve looked calm and composed– unaffected even, if it wasn’t for the tips of his ears flushing pink and his subconscious leg jiggle. “What?” Leon asks as Rebecca and Claire shoot him smirks that scream “is it what we’re thinking?”. “Can’t a guy and girl talk like they’re just coworkers?”

“You have a point,” Claire replies but Leon doesn’t miss how her blue-green gaze falls on his pinkish ears. They decided to drop the topic, much to Leon’s massive relief. “That was a close one, Leon. Careful next time,” he thinks to himself. Well, you two did more than just talk that day– no, not in that way; you exchanged numbers, began hanging around each other more frequently until you two took secretly took things to another level. Since there was only 15 minutes left before their break was over, they decided to leave early and go up to their office.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

“Hey baby,” you softly say as you walk over to Leon’s cubicle. The others had already gone, the office dark except for Leon’s spot. He had stayed overtime to finish up a model so he would be free for the weekend.

“Hi,” Leon softly said as he pressed a tender kiss to your cheek. “Stayed a little later to finish the playground but I don’t regret it one bit if it means some time spent with you.”

“Congrats for making my heart race a million miles per hour,” you giggle. Leon shoots you a flirty wink before he finishes up packing his bag. “Ready to go, milady?”

“Let’s go,” you respond. You two leave the dark office, looking around for anyone lingering. You part your hands from his temporarily, making sure no one catches you holding hands with an employee; it’s not exactly rule-breaking to be fraternizing with an employee but it is highly discouraged. More importantly, it’s not exactly the best of look to be caught in such an act especially when you’re the daughter of the head of this entire company.

“Coast clear?” Leon whispers, to which you nod. Giggling like two school children who just confessed their crushes to each other, you two make your way down the dark hallways hand in hand. Leon kept stealing glances at you, a nerdy but hopelessly in love smile plastered on his face. Despite the lack of lights, you could accurately guess that there’s a glimmer in Leon’s eyes whenever he looked at you like you’re the sun, which you kind of are since you lit up his world.

Not too long after, you two get in your car. After starting the engine, Leon suggested that you two take his car so he could open the door for you and be the one to treat you lavishly, to which you responded with a small nod and an “I’ll think about it”. Leon connected his phone to your car’s bluetooth speakers, going to his Spotify and picking out a playlist he made that reminded him of you. Upon hearing the lyrics of the song, a warmth crawled up your cheeks and manifested in the form of a soft pink glow. Seeing your reaction, Leon beamed brightly as he leaned back in his seat.

“You know it’s your birthday next week,” Leon says, breaking the comfortable silence that settled between you two.

“Yeah, it is. Why, you wanna know what I want for a gift?,” you ask.

“Maybe, maybe not.”

“Oh then I guess just wear a light pink ribbon on your hair and call yourself a gift. Your presence in my life is the best present ever.”

“God that’s so cheesy,” he says with a small laugh. He keeps his gaze trained on the tall buildings around you two because he knows he’s going to scream like a girl if he looks at you once more. “It’s not a bad suggestion though.”. After a few minutes, you two finally reach Leon’s condominium.

“Good night baby, see you tomorrow,” you say whilst pulling him in for a kiss.

“Night, Y/N. Text me when you get back, okay?,” he says. You nod before he finally waves bye and shuts the door.

You’ll definitely be sending him some texts.

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After another entire week of staying overtime and finally finishing the mountain of work assigned to you, you finally get up from your chair to move your body a little bit. This day went great: meetings went smoothly, everything on your planner happened, and most importantly, it’s your birthday. Of course, your father and those close to him greeted you and though you didn’t mind if someone know (or doesn't know) your birthday, the gesture warmed your heart.

“Baby?,” Leon called out.

“Huh? Leon?,” you asked. He emerged from the dark, a dainty bouquet of pink and white tulips in his hand, along with a card. Just as you recommended last week, there’s a baby pink ribbon clipped on his hair.

“Oh you didn’t have to–”

“I didn’t have to but I wanted to,” he says before pulling you in for a slow, tender kiss.

“Happy birthday to my only girl.”

Words won’t ever show how truly thankful you are for this gesture so you show it through actions. You pull him in for a hungry kiss, hands travelling to his black tie to loosen it up. Leon places your gifts on your desk, his finally unoccupied hands going to his own tie to help you loosen it faster. You kick your heels off, legs wrapping around his waist as the kisses slowly become more heated and passionate. His hand travels to your blazer, nimble fingers quickly wo–

“Happy birthday, Y/N–”

“WOAH WHAT THE FUCK.”

“CLAIRE PLEASE DON’T DROP THE CAKE.”

“LEON! Y/N?!”

You quickly push Leon off of you and get back up, fixing your hair and feeling around your clothes for any unclasped buttons or pulled down zippers. Embarrassment rushes through your veins, your heart lodged in your throat. Leon’s embarrassed too– shimmery pink lip gloss smeared on his lips, blond hair ruffled, and his tie hanging loose around his neck. His entire face is red and suddenly it’s not so bad if the ground collapses and swallows him up (though he prefers if you swallow him up but now is not the time).

“Uh… hey guys!,” you chirp with an awfully fake smile.

“Hi guys– we were–,” Leon stammers, hand behind his neck.

“Hey guys, if you were busy… we can… we can wait outside…,” Jill awkwardly mumbles, eyeing the poorly hidden bouquet on the desk.

“Yeah… we can wait outside the building if it’ll be noisy too,” Rebecca adds, which causes Leon to almost choke on air and for you to stare at her discombobulated.

“NO– No guys, you can um– now is fine, I promise–,” you stammer. Leon follows suit, trying to make it look as if you two weren’t interrupted in the worst way possible.

NOTE - I saw the reception of my first fic in here and it's looking positive so far so thank you very much! The likes, reblogs, and new followers mean so much to me and I seriously started contemplating telling my parents that I write (I'm so not telling them lmao). I hope you guys enjoy this fic just like you have with my other one!

The dividers (the doodle-y ones) are made by @saradika , the images are made by me (sourced from Pinterest).

[billthedrake]

NIGHT SHIFT

It was twilight more than actual dawn, but as I heard the sound of the metal clink in Dad's uniform belt, I roused in my bed and saw his beefy build standing by my dresser. Carefully, he removed his service weapon and placed it next to my baseball card collection and my trophies, then did the same with his utility belt.

My eyes took a second to adjust, but I could start to make out his handsome features. Roman nose, round cheeks, thinning hair kept military buzzed.

"Heya kiddo," he whispered when he finally saw me watching, sitting up in bed. Already he was unbuttoning and untucking his uniform shirt, the kevlar vest making his barrel chest even more pronounced beneath.

"Hey Dad," I said. I tried to be quiet, too, but my voice was groggy and my greeting came out louder than I intended.

Not that I probably needed to worry. It's crazy and would be impossible to explain to any outsider. But this was an open secret in our family. Mom knew, my little brothers knew and even if no one talked about it, there was a strange acceptance. Maybe because my parents fought less now. Maybe because I was the star baseball player who was pretty much tapped to get a top pick in the upcoming draft, straight out of high school. I was definitely the Golden Boy. I wouldn't say I was spoiled, because I worked my ass off for my success, but I got a lot of special treatment.

It was a ritual I was getting used to, the way Dad neatly hung up his uniform, putting it in my closet, next to my Sunday best blue blazer and pressed khakis. He wore Jockey style briefs that clung to his meaty ass and heavy genitals. My morning wood was reliable but even if it wasn't I'd have gotten rock hard just watching him.

Finally Dad turned toward the bed with a relaxed smile, taking two steps to approach, then hooked his thumbs in the elastic and slid off his underwear. My father wasn't erect yet, but his dong was getting firmer as he lifted up the bed sheet and crawled in next to me.

"Sorry to wake you, Nolan," he said as he scooted up against me, his strong hands latching on to my sides. "But you do feel nice, buddy...."

"You too, Dad," I said. My dick pressed into the softness of his belly. My father wasn't overweight but he had some love handles on his otherwise hard, regulation-fit body. I loved every bit of him and the way he felt next to me. My hands were matching his move, running along the hard lats and over his meaty ass cheeks.

"This is what I look forward to after a hard shift," he said.

"Tough night?" I asked.

"Yah," he said. Dad didn't talk about the stress of his job in detail, but I liked that he could confide in me. When I was a kid he'd always hide that part of his life from me.

Our lips met. Softly at first but I nudged his mouth with my tongue, and Dad opened up to accept it. He moaned into my mouth as he pawed me more greedily, his hands' urgency a contrast to our restrained kiss.

My own hands were feeling him up excitedly, eventually one moving down to cup his crotch. My dad was rock hard now.

"HMMM," he hissed as we broke the kiss. "You got me hard, buddy."

"I can tell," I said. The daylight was a little brighter in the room now, and I could make out my father's masculine, soulful face up closer. His body felt warm and the scent of him filled my nostrils. My fingers caressed his rigid prick, which jerked in my hand some. "What are you in the mood for, sir?"

With me and Dad it was 50/50. Not only the sex acts we did but who guided how we would mate. After a big game or when we got some extended dad-son time, I generally got to pick. But when Dad was coming off of a night shift, I liked to indulge him.

"Hard to choose," he said. His hand was now moving to feel up my son bone.

"I know what you mean," I said.

He gave a slight, serious smile. It was weird that I was waking up but Dad was tired but fully awake, having been up for a good sixteen or seventeen hours. "I guess I'm trying to say, I want both... you know, flip."

We actually hadn't done that. If I hadn't watched my share of porn, I might not even know what that term meant. But the second he said it, the idea sounded perfect.

Dad must have read the approval on my face because already he was reaching over me, toward the lube I had out on the night stand. This was another thing I no longer bothered to hide. Over the course of the last nine months, we'd gone from only fooling around outside of the house to only doing it when we knew we were alone to.... this. I heard the squirt of the liquid in Dad's palm as I felt up his soft furry torso. Then Dad pumped out more for good measure.

I grinned at him as he now reached between my legs. I had a good jock's body, strong and athletic but over the last few months I'd really gotten more into lifting and my body had responded well. Dad told me he was in love with all of me, not just my muscles, but I still enjoyed the confidence my new build had given me. And Dad's eyes seemed more appreciative.

The fingers felt silky and warm as he fingered me open.

I could hear footsteps in the hall. People were starting to wake up. Dad paused a second and arched his eyebrow. The first time this had happened we were terrified of being discovered. Now my father pulled his big mitt back, wiping some of the excess lube onto my hard prick before slicking up his own.

"Lift your legs, Nolan," he instructed. No longer whispering but talking at full voice.

I was so excited to do so, pulling my legs back in the air, only to have my state trooper father guide them to a resting place on his shoulder. I pulled the extra pillow and Dad did the rest to help me lift my hips to place it beneath me. The angle was perfect, and I clenched my core once I felt Dad's wet meaty prick nudge my folds.

We used to have to go real slow through this part. Dad took my cherry right after my 18th birthday, and for months entry felt cherry-tight. But the last month, we'd both hit a groove. I was still tight, as was my father, but he was able to work himself inside me without too much difficulty.

He was doing it now, his eyes on me, excited to be inside his son once more.

"I love your cock, Dad," I hissed.

He nodded. I didn't know if that was a nod to say he knew how much I loved his dick or a nod to indicate he loved my ass equally. Probably both. "You know, kiddo... you're gonna have to tell me if this is ever too much."

I shook my head no. "You always know how to fuck me, Dad. Always have."

He grunted. "I don't mean physically, Nolan. I mean the other stuff. Everything else."

The words made my cock thrwap on my belly. If Dad hadn't suggested the flip fuck, I would have been stroking my tool already. "Not to take away from the sex, sir... but the other stuff is the best part."

That got a big smile from him. He thrust in, completely, all the way. "That it is, buddy." Then another thrust. The emotional talk had keyed me up to take this, to want this.

"Fuck me, sir. Fuck your boy."

Dad's nostrils flared as he threw more strength into his fuck, still slow but very firm. "Oh kiddo..."

The only thing that spoiled an otherwise perfect moment was the nagging realization I'd be moving within two months. Out of my childhood home, away from Mom and my little brothers. Away from Dad. "You get so worked up after a long night," I observed, now running my hands along his furry chest. It was true, but my words were meant to egg him on, too.

"Cause I think about you all fucking shift, Nolan... you and your hot fucking ass."

His hips were faster now, his whole body moving in a steady athletic pump. It was exquisite. I didn't even mind having my legs pushed back as he leaned in some. "You and your amazing baseball jock body," he added.

"I'm gonna get bigger," I hissed.

Dad's body jerked to a stop, and I thought for a second he was cumming. But he bit lip and slowly slid out of me, pulling my ankles off his meaty delts and letting my legs down. His prick was super slick, from his frothy precum as much as from the lube, and I watched how it was immobile like a tire iron as he scooted up and straddled my waist.

Already he was half twisting, half leaning back to grip my slick cock and guide it into place.

"There," he hissed as he made contact. A second later he was already sitting down on me.

"Oh fuck, Dad," I grunted. "You feel so incredible."

Dad had a determined look as he made himself relax so he could work more of my dick into him. After about thirty seconds, though he'd worked his way down most of me. He paused, then started riding his hips up and down. "Your daddy's so horny, Nolan," he grunted. The bed was squeaking and our voices were louder. There's no way somebody wasn't hearing us fuck.

"Me too, sir," I growled, my hands gripping his hard, hairy thighs. Imagining fucking him in his uniform one shift. We'd done that once, and the memory still got me going.

"You're always horny, stud. Daddy's sex-addict boy."

"You know it," I said, now thrusting up into him as much as he was riding me. It all felt too good. "I don't know if I can last long... if you wanna flip some more."

"Let it go, son. Let that cum go right up my fucking ass."

It did. The orgasm was pretty intense so I had a good feeling Dad's guts were getting pretty sauced.

"Hell yeah," he hissed, riding me and milking me with his state trooper ass. He wasn't making a move to jerk off but instead leaned all the way back onto my crotch to ensure my dick and my load were buried as deep as possible inside him. He held there just a second then slowly rose off.

He leaned in to kiss me hungrily, then just as impetuously pulled back, nudging my legs up. "Pretty please, Nolan," he asked.

I wanted to give him this. The release, and the pleasure to match what he'd just given me. He knew it was going to be intense for me, so he didn't hold back. Sliding back inside my ass, he pumped me gently a couple of times, then just started moving faster to get off. I had a pretty good idea of the button to push.

"This is incest, Dad," I hissed. I didn't drop the word much, in part because it was so powerful.

"Shit," Dad hissed with an urgency that let me know it was working. He was almost cumming.

"Real incest," I repeated. "Deep incest."

Dad was whimpering now, in full orgasm, his face scrunching up and his body jerking as he pumped a bunch of his fatherly sperm into me.

He was a little sweaty and a lot tired when he dismounted. "That was incredible, Nolan," he said, reaching down to ruffle my hair and give me a more relaxed kiss. "Thanks."

I grinned. "Keeps getting better, huh?"

Dad looked back at me with a dreamy expression, his body now lying beside mine, his hands on my waist. "Somehow... yeah, it does."

I felt him up too. "I should probably get ready for school," I said, regret in my voice.

"Definitely," Dad said. "Another kiss."

We didn't rush this one, but I finally got the will power to pull back. "All right," I said.

"I'll text you later," he said. His voice definitely sleepy now. I watched him pull the covers up over his burly, hairy body and turn away from the light of the bedroom window.

I slid out of bed and reached over to pull the blinds down. I slid on some sweats and padded out of the room, shutting the door softly behind me.

[thenightfolknetwork]

Ok so, I'm not...supposed to exist?

I am—er, well, was an imaginary friend. My "brother" was a lonely little boy who was quite neglected looking back, and he wanted someone to spend his time with, a "sister".

So he dreamed, and I came to be. Now, even as a child he wasn't the most imaginative sort, preferring to imagine things he could see and wonder about what was rather than make something new completely from scratch. So, in his mind, his sister looked just like him, just with longer hair. I think that's one of the reasons i'm...like this.

Most children describe their imaginary friends as fantastical, with great glittering wings or neon spots and the like. Most children stop talking or believing in their imaginary friends around a certain age. Most children cannot see someone else's friend. No one, outside of the child, can see an imaginary friend.

Until now? I think? These are all observations I've made.

I remember only existing when my brother was around. We would play and "go on adventures" and just have fun. When it was dinner time, I would sit beside him and eat... but couldn't eat. I would say things to make him laugh, but no one else would acknowledge I was there. I didn't think much of it at the time since..well, I couldn't think. I wasn't real.

As he grew, he must have imagined me growing as well. As he learned, I did, too, and must have adjusted accordingly. Unlike his peers, he was convinced that I was a person and was angry when people told him otherwise.

We got older and he got more insistent when suddenly, people started to play along. Pretending to see me and talk to me when it was clear that they couldn't. I think this was when I started to...feel things? Think?

We fought, my brother and I. He was graduating secondary and heading to Uni. I asked him why he still imagined me when it was clear he didn't need me anymore. He said he did need me. I didn't believe him, we argued, and he left.

I was still there.

Before, time almost seemed to...skip? Think cutscenes from those video games everyone seems to like playing. The day ends, I blink and it's morning, no sleep needed. Brother was distracted? Time skips until he addressed me again.

I've never not been without him before. I panicked. I collapsed against the wall and I felt it. The cool wall, the tears streaming down my face, my brother's hug when he came to apologize. I don't know how to handle it.

When we sat down for dinner, his mum and dad addressed me and asked if I was alright, as if they had always known I existed. They could see me and my distress. I tried to explain, but everyone looked at me confused. They told me that of course i existed, I always did.

But I know the truth. There are no pictures of me in this house. There are no school records of me or medical ones. I have no bedroom or clothes of my own. I did not exist.

I don't know exactly when I became "real" but I am now. I just...I don't know what to do? I wasn't real and now I am and everyone calls me crazy for thinking otherwise. How does one exist? My brother is leaving for Uni soon and everyone expects the same of me, as if I've been accepted into one. I haven't, I've checked.

Why do I exist? Why does no one acknowledge that I never did?

Please.

I'm scared.

I'm so glad you've written in, reader. Quite apart from the existential questions your situation raises, there is also rather a lot of paperwork involved.

It is possible to live in the UK without being part of the civil bureaucratic system – indeed, there are certain isolated genuses whose right to do so has been fiercely protected over the generations. But it's a tremendously difficult way to live if you have any intention of engaging with the economic, education or healthcare systems.

The Bunbury Institute of Manifested Personages should be your first port of call to tackle the logistical and legal difficulties presented by your case. They'll be able to get you sorted with all the documentation you need to prove your existence, including a Certificate of Corporeal Incarnation, which will stand in where others might use their birth certificate.

Once you legally exist, you'll be able to open a bank account, apply for a passport, and essentially make whatever choices you want to make about how to spend the rest of your existence. Which brings me to the real heart of your letter – the emotional impact of your change in circumstance.

Sudden onset incarnation is a profoundly disruptive experience no matter how, when or to whom it occurs. Even if your family were able to understand the situation and support you through it, it would still be an extremely difficult situation to navigate. As it is, the nature of your previous existence and the way your incarnation has taken effect means they're just not able to.

You ask why nobody acknowledges your previous non-existence. Generally speaking, most people find it extremely difficult to the point of near impossibility to really understand divergent realities. It's not that your family are trying to undermine you – they are literally, psychologically and biologically, incapable of understanding how you have come to be.

I strongly recommend you find someone to talk to about this issue as soon as you can. Without your legal paperwork in place, it will be difficult to access mental health support either privately or through the NHS. However, the Bunbury Institute and other such charitable organisations may be able to put you in touch with support groups for others like yourself.

What's important is that you know, you're not alone in this. Whatever your family may believe, your experiences are real and valid. And, now, so are you. It's going to be a big adjustment, figuring out how you want to live in the world now you're here. Try not to get too overwhelmed. Take things one day at a time, try to keep an eye on the positives, and give yourself the grace and time you need to process the negatives. In time, I feel sure you'll be able to build a life that feels right for you.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[13as07]

Stretch Marks

(Asuma Sarutobi Smut)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to BEHINDXA]

Requested by: Anonymous

Word Count: 4,647

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Smoking

Name Calling: Baby Doll, Daddy, Good Girl, Selfish

Soft Dom

Spanking

Body Image/Weight Issues (more or less)

Titty Play

Breeding/Creampie

Fingering (Female Receiving)

Mirror Sex

———————————————————————

My husband's hand paws at my lower stomach, his fingertips kneading at the flesh. My side is tucked into his elbow dent, his arm wrapped all around me so I'm enveloped by Asuma's whole being.

     Since we showed up at Kurenai's baby shower, he's been attached to me like crazy. I don't think I've gone longer than five minutes without Asuma touching me. Anytime he's not touching me, his eyes are locked on me with so much admiration shining in them. Every time he's spoken to me since we've gotten here has been littered with compliments or sweet nothings about why or what he loves about me.

"Baby doll?" He coos, lowering his head so his mouth is pressed against my ear. "I adore your little pouch."

"You're weird," I chuckle, heat crawling up my neck when he presses on it. If Asuma is anything, he's a man of pride, which in the bedroom translates to him pressing on my lower stomach to 'feel himself in me'.

"How is loving a specific spot of you weird?" He mutters, peppering a light kiss to my ear. "This is where our children will grow," he adds, pressing on my womb pouch again.

Another kiss and press are stamped into me before Asuma gently pushes me to the side, settling me in front of himself. His hands fall to my hips, pulling me backward before his hands slide over to continue to press on my womb. "What's your obsession with my stomach today?" I ask, leaning my head backward so I can look up at him.

"It's nothing," he mutters, glancing around with a small tint of pink mixing with his olive skin. "We should go outside for a smoke." Before I can answer, I'm being dragged toward the back door.

Asuma's nephew - Konohamaru - catches sight of us, quickly weaving through the people in the house to catch onto our heels. "Are you guys leaving already?" He asks, grabbing hold of my elbow so the both of us can be dragged out by his uncle.

     "No," Asuma answers shortly, some of the excitement from before deflating from his voice.

     "Oh, just a smoke break then," Our nephew mutters, glancing around the room, probably searching for his Grandfather. "Can I sit outside with your guys?"

     "If I tell you no, are you going to come anyway?" Asuma grumbles, letting me go long enough to pop the door open and hold it for me.

     "Yes," Konoh giggles, sliding out the door with me. I roll my eyes at my two boys, settling on the porch steps as I wait for my husband to join us. My nephew sits next to me, making sure he's upstream of the soft breeze outside. "My dad is stopping home tomorrow," the young boy mumbles, bouncing his knees as he looks around the yard.

"That's just great," Asuma grumbles, smacking his pack against his palm as he slowly sinks to the stairs. It's not a secret my husband and brother-in-law have a strained relationship, starting in adolescence over computation for their father's time or attention and now stretching to their disagreements over Konoh.

More specifically, fighting about neither of our nephew's parents being in the picture leaving him pretty much orphaned since Lord Third died. Konohamaru spends more time with us in a month than he's spent with his parents in all thirteen years of his life. It's saddening, but he's a happy kid and that's all that matters.

Asuma lights the cigarette between his lips, taking a hit of it before handing the stick to me. I take it from him, taking a puff as he lights a cigarette for himself. "Are you excited to see your Dad?" He asks, leaning around me to look at Konoh.

"Kind of, but not really," he mutters, bumping his knee against mine; I bump his knee back. "I want him to meet Hanabi while he's around though."

"The girl you've been hanging out with?" I ask, making my eyebrows jump as I softly tease Konoh about his growing crush.

"Ya," he whispers, a soft smile playing on his lips as his cheeks heat up. "Could you maybe help me get dressed up tomorrow for dinner with Dad and her?"

"Sure, Sweets," I answer, my chest boosting with joy from the simple request. I know my nephew has a mother, a role I'll never be able to fill for him despite her distance, but I'm always happy to fill in and be a good figure in his life.

Asuma's hand jumps to the side after I answer, roughly gripping my thigh as he inhales deeply. I watch the smoke cloud slowly slither out from his lips, perfectly sliding over his neatly kept beard. "You should go inside Konohamaru. I don't want you catching any secondhand smoke."

"But - "

"Inside," his uncle interrupts, sending Konoh a pointed look. The younger boy sighs, plopping a kiss on my cheek before he gets up and wanders back inside, probably off to go find his little girlfriend. "We should talk," Asuma mumbles, squeezing my thigh again as his eyes wander around the yard, most of his focus on his smoke.

"About what?" I ask, taking another inhale of my slowly dying cigarette. I smoke on occasion, well a lot more than that since I started dating Asuma so long ago, but he's still a heavier smoker than me.

He stays quiet, the both of us slowly huffing and puffing our nicotine as I wait for him to answer. "I'm a little obsessed with your tummy pouch today."

"Why do you keep calling it that?"

"You're right, womb tomb would sound better." He chuckles at his joke, making me roll my eyes. What a doofus. "I don't know," Asuma mutters, pausing to inhale the smoke from his cigarette again. I do the same, letting the burning sensation burn my lungs. "This whole baby shower thing and watching you with Konohamaru recently has me thinking."

     "About?"

     Another long pause, this time filled with two puffs. "Giving you a baby." The words hang in the air for a moment, slowly sinking into my gut. "Do you want me to give you a baby?"

     "Yes!" I answer quickly, snapping my head toward my husband. My cheeks heat up from how quickly I answered, the squeeze to my thigh and the slow slide up of Asuma's fingers adding to the stirring of my gut. "I mean..." I mutter, my eyes locking on the fingers clinging to my leg. "I think we're ready to be parents if you think we are."

     "I think we are. Besides, I'll enjoy making that baby with you." Asuma chuckles again, using his hold to pull me closer to him. He flickers his cigarette to the ground before leaning his mouth to my ear, his soft breath tickling me. "Though, seeing my creampie in your pussy will be my favorite part I bet."

     "Asuma!" I hiss, glancing around to make sure we are alone outside.

     He chuckles again, his hand finally leaving my thigh just to grab my hand. "Come on, let's say goodbye so I can get you home."

                        ———————————

     The tension stewing between Asuma and me is drowning, leaving me almost dazed as he slowly leads me up the flights of stairs to our apartment. A hand is back on my stomach pouch, slowly rubbing it as the other hand gently pushes on my hip, leading me across the way. He's buried in my neck, nuzzling my hair as his lips press soft kisses into my skin.

     I stumble over my feet, excitement from being on our floor fogging my mind. Asuma chuckles at me, clinging to me to stop me from falling. "Someone is excited about becoming a mommy, or maybe you're just excited for me. Which one is it, baby doll?"

     "Both," I murmur, trying to drag him to our front door quicker. He laughs again, letting me tug him forward. Once I get us in front of our door, I'm pressed against it, Asuma leaning into me as he digs through his pockets in search of his keys. His boner is pressed against my ass, only making me more excited. "Hurry up."

     "Have a bit of patience, baby doll. Give me a second," he mutters, shoving his key into the lock before twisting it. "Go sit pretty in the bedroom and wait while Daddy has a cigarette," Asuma orders, landing a smack to my ass.

     I let out a yelp, a smile crossing my face as I cover my butt to avoid any further taps to it. As I beeline for our bedroom, he wanders off to slip out to the porch, going to have another smoke like he said he was going to. Eagerness bubbles in me as I slide through our bedroom door, the promise of sex being the main thing on my mind with the hint of having a baby rattles around in the background.

     I do what's expected and what was asked of me. My clothes are stripped off as I work towards the body mirror propped up against the wall. As soon as I get in front of it, bare with my clothes thrown across the floor, I sink to my knees, settling onto them in front of the mirror.

     If Asuma could be summed up in one word it would be protective. Whether it's for his nephew, his students, the village, or me. He's protective over everything from enemies to my conscience. My perfect guard dog, too lazy to pick his shoes off the floor but not too lazy to go toe-to-toe with my self-doubt.

     I sit in silence, looking myself over in the mirror as I wait for him to finish his smoke. The longer he's gone the more I fester over the pouch of my lower stomach. How can I feel so sexy and loved when Asuma grabs at it but hate it when I'm looking in the mirror? I've tried every workout and diet possible to at least shrink it if not get rid of it, but no matter what I do it just stays put.

     Last week I broke down about it and he explained it was just a small amount of fat, an extra protective layer to keep lower stomach organs safe. Whether that's true or not is beyond me but he keeps insisting it's normal to have and his 'new favorite spot'. I think it's always been his favorite spot, especially since he has a habit of pressing on it during sex, but I won't complain about how he chooses to love my body.

     "Don't look at yourself like that, baby doll," Asuma's voice flutters out from behind me, startling me a bit.

     My eyes jump away from myself in the mirror, settling on the image of him left in nothing but his boxers. My sight slowly trails across his face, dropping down his defined chest and torso, ogling at his bicep muscles on the way down before settling on his exposed hard-on. It still amazes me how a man cut from God's personal hotties cloth cannot only want to be with me but physically can't control parts of himself at the sight of me.

     "Why can't you look at yourself how you look at me?" He asks, tone teasing but his eyes have a hint of sadness in them. Asuma moves forward a step before crouching down, his knees on either side of mine and a hand on my shoulders to box me in. His free hand jumps to my chin, tipping it down so I lock eyes with myself. "Give the pretty girl in the mirror a compliment."

     "She's a very smart girl," I mutter, shifting my eyes away from the mirror. It almost hurts to look at myself for too long.

     Asuma chuckles, using his hold on my face to shift me, lining my sight with myself again. "That is true, baby doll, but I meant a compliment about her looks. I think she has a sexy stomach that's only going to get sexier when it starts growing our child. Even more sexy than that after her stretch marks start setting in."

     I simmer on his words for a moment, letting them manifest in my head. I knew I was going to gain weight if we succeeded at getting me pregnant but the thought of stretch marks never crossed my mind. Would Asuma find my stretch marks sexy?

     "You'd look like a sexy tiger," he butts into my thoughts as if he could read them. "Plus it would be a permanent reminder of the precious life your body built and natured. There's nothing sexier than the mother of my child and the stretch marks left behind because of the wonders her body performed. I wouldn't choose anyone other than you to perform such wonders for me, baby doll."

     The smothering of compliments heats my body again, tingles stewing between my legs and a blush quickly covering my cheeks. My cheeks that Asuma also smothers, this time with kisses instead of compliments. "Compliment yourself, baby doll. I want to hear you say how pretty you are."

     I stay silent for a moment, glancing over my image, looking for any part of myself I find attractive. "I have pretty eyes. They're a nice shape and the color isn't terrible."

     "I love your eyes. I love the color of them. I love how they light up when they find me," Asuma mutters in response, the hand on my shoulder sliding my hair out of the way while the hand clinging to my chin tilts my head to the side. "Keeping going."

     "Um... I like my hair too. It's a pretty color and I like how I keep it relatively healthy and that I can change it in all sorts of ways."

     "You have beautiful hair. I love how messy and wild child it is in the morning," he reinforces, his lips quickly finding their way back to my neck. Asuma softly sucks in the skin of my throat, still light enough not to leave any marks but hard enough that tingles form and drop straight down.

     The hand not keeping my head tilted and eyes locked on the mirror is softly massaging my shoulder, quickly abounding that to cup one of my breasts. Asuma softly massages it, kneading it like he's done to my stomach all day.

     "Compliment your titties, baby doll," he mumbles, gripping it a bit harder as his thumb finds its way to my nipple, rubbing slow circles into it.

     My eyes fall to my chest, trying to scrape up any half-assed compliment I can come up with. "I... am happy I have them. I'm happy they'll help me nature our child."

     Asuma softly chuckles, releasing my boob just to switch his hands around and play with the other one. "I'm happy you have them too. They feel so perfect, filling my hands just right. I can't wait to try your breast milk."

     "Asuma!" I yelp, a shaky smile on my lips as my cheeks heat up again. "You're such a perv."

     He tilts my head the other way, letting my chin go to slide my hair out of the way again. "How am I a perv? You can't expect your tits to start producing milk and for me not to try it." Ya, I guess he has a point. I should have seen that one coming.

     Asuma's hand doesn't go back to my chin this time. Instead, it starts sliding down my front, stopping at my stomach pouch he loves so much to press his fingers against it. "Compliment your stomach, baby doll."

     My eyes drop down to where his hand is, stewing as I look at the spot. His hand doesn't stay there long though, quickly sliding down again, beelining for my pussy. Asuma's legs shift wider, his hand cupping my knee to pull my legs apart too before going back to its main course. His fingertips slide through my folds, taking their time as they trail over my clit.

"Asuma," I whine, jerking my hips when his fingers start moving away from my clit.

"You're not getting any attention until you compliment your belly," he mutters, his grin stamping into my throat just as much as his lips.

"That's not fair."

"I think Daddy is being very fair," he chuckles, head lifting as the tips of his fingers dip into me. They don't say long, pulling away again, sliding through me again to spread my forming wetness. "It's just a bit of self-love, baby doll."

I melt into Asuma, leaning against him as he looks at me in the mirror, eyes burning with passion as he toys with me. One or two small circles to my clit, nibble fingers tailing down to poke his fingertips into my pussy before trialing back up. "Daddy," I whine, trying to jerk my hips further onto his fingers.

"Compliment," he mutters, his hand falling from my breast long enough to shift my hips back up before it's back on my boob. Instead of kneading it this time, Asuma toys with my nipple, pinching it between his fingers as he tugs on it. "I want to hear you compliment your perfect tummy. Put those pretty lips to work for Daddy."

I let a few whines spill out, the tingles of want from my pussy quickly beating out my defiance. "My belly is perfect, now touch me," I whimper, my hands shooting backward to take a grip on his short-kept hair.

Asuma chuckles, the corners of his eyes scrunching with happiness. I love how he loves me. I love how he helps me love myself. "You're such a good girl," he coos, finally dipping two fingers completely into me. A long moan tumbles out, back already starting to arch as he curls his fingers.

Another chuckle comes from him, the hand on my tit falling to my legs to pull them further apart. "Watch, baby doll. Watch what I'm doing to you," Asuma mumbles, chin to my head to gently push it downward.

I do as I'm told, shifting my head down the mirror. Once my eyes are in place, he starts slowly pumping them in and out of me. "Compliment your pussy," he orders, picking up his fingers a bit as his hand grips my leg tighter. "Is your pussy pretty?"

"Yes, Daddy. My pussy is pretty," I babble out, trying to rock my hips.

Asuma's fingers tumble around, positioning themselves so his thumb can run over my clit as he stretches me out. "Good girl," he coos again, rubbing my clit a lot slower than his fingers thrust into me. "What do you want from me, baby doll?"

"A baby," I mutter, the buzz of my approaching orgasm already fogging my mind. "I want you to give me a baby. Your baby. Please, Daddy?"

Asuma lets out a hissed breath, thumb circling quicker as he mutters to himself. "Are you sure you want a baby? One hundred percent sure?" My head snaps up, locking with his eyes in the mirror as I quickly nod my head. "Use your words, baby doll."

"Yes, I'm sure. I want a baby. One hundred percent. Give me a baby, please." The last word comes out as a hissy whine, my orgasm quickly ticking to its tipping point. Asuma releases my leg, hand jumping up to cling to my chin again. He tips my head backward, his lips quickly finding mine as his fingers start to curl again.

The ticking comes to an end, my cunt clenching around his fingers as I come undone. Asuma's mouth catches my satisfied moans, swallowing them as pridefully as the grin on his face. "I'll never get tired of you cumming on my fingers," he mumbles, slowly pulling his lips away from me.

Even though this is the millionth time I've heard the confusion, it still makes me buzz with giddiness. "Then do it again," I whisper, avoiding his intense eyes sparked with arousal and his want for me.

"How did I end up with such a selfish baby doll?" Asuma teases, hands clinging to my hips, coating one side with my juices still coating his hand. He shifts onto his knees, positioning himself before I'm tugged on, my hands falling out of his because of the movements.

I'm lurched backward, actually positioned on my knees instead of just sitting on them before Asuma releases one of my hips, a hand settling between my shoulder blades to push my chest against the mirror. The chilled glass sends a shiver through my body, making my nipples harden even more. They almost hurt from the chill and the toying they had earlier.

My hands stumble onto the mirror, being pressed against them as I settle into my new position. I turn my head to look back at him, wondering what exactly he has planned. "Look at yourself, baby doll," he orders, his hand jumping from my back to my hair, using it to shift my head forward so I can see myself in the mirror. "I want you to see how pretty your face looks while you're taking my dick."

Just like that, the spark between my thighs starts to roar again. At the moment, my cheeks are red with a hint of sweat from the work over I've already received. My eyes flutter, watching Asuma as he lines himself with my pussy, the tip of his dick tapping against my hole. "Watch," he orders again, his big hands wrapping around my hips again as he stares at me in the mirror.

"Yes, Daddy," I whisper, letting my eyes drop again, locking with themselves in the glass. His hands feel warm as they cling to me, trying their best to keep a hold of me without bruising my skin.

Asuma slowly inches into me, stretching me so perfectly as he works on bottoming out. "Your pussy always feels so perfect wrapped around me, baby doll," he groans, squeezing my hips as he waits for a second, enjoying the feeling of me, and letting me enjoy the feeling of him.

My face is redding just a bit, eagerness for Asuma, embarrassment from the compliment, and my body temperature rising from the short interaction.

As he slowly pulls out, a hand slides down, resting against my belly pouch he loves so much. "Right here is where our baby is going to start forming," he mutters, pressing on the spot as he thrusts back into me, a bit faster than last time but still pretty slow. "Our child is going to grow from right here. Your stretch marks are going to form because of this spot. I'm going to be permanently stitched right here so I can enjoy both our wonderful baby and my beautiful wife."

My mouth stays open a bit, shaky breaths spilling out and coating the mirror with a bit of condensation, making the glass foggy. "Daddy," I mutter, trying to work my hips backward. I need more, I need him to move faster, I need something else from him. "Please?"

"Please what?" He chuckles, picking up his pace as he presses on my stomach harder. Cocky man that gets off on feeling the indent of his penis in me. "Please give you a baby? Please fill you up until I'm certain you're pregnant? Is that what you want?"

I watch the way his words affect me, my pupils widening the more turned on I get, and my tongue begging to poke out, a beg I give into. I look like an amateur pornstar, tongue hanging out as I pant and doe eyes begging for more of my husband. No wonder Asuma finds me so sexy.

"Answer me, baby doll," he mutters, thrusts picking up again as his hand finally trails away from my stomach. His fingers slide against my clit, the pads of his fingertips softly toying with me. I quickly nod my head, the ticks of my orgasm starting up again. "Use your words."

"Yes, please. All of it. I want all of it. Daddy, please?" I ramble, words coming out muffled by my moany breaths.

"You're so hot," he groans, his fingers picking up their pace. Asuma's head falls to lay on me, hot breath and sloppy kisses coating both my shoulder and my neck as he fucks me. "You're going to be such a hot mom. Repeat, baby doll. Say it."

"I'm going to be a hot mom," I echo, my back curling down as my orgasm starts to close in again. Screw Asuma, screw his talented fingers, screw him making me cum before he fucks me so it's easier to amp me up again and get me to cum on his cock. It's almost humiliating how easily he plays my body.

"Again."

"I'm going to be a hot mom. I'm going to be a hot mom. I'm going to be a hot mom," I say on repeat, already knowing he's going to make me repeat it a thousand times. "Asuma," I whine, cutting off my broken record repeat when my orgasm is knocking at the door.

"Squeeze my dick, baby doll," he mutters before softly sucking on my throat again. An embarrassing high-pitched whine spills from me, my body obeying his demand, squeezing his cock as I come undone once again during this round.

With a fresh coat of my juices coating his cock, Asuma slides into me easier, his thrusts hitting harder from the added slickness. "Are you ready, baby doll?" He starts to babble as his head lifts off me. His continued thrusts toe the line of overstimulation from the lack of a break to my body. "Are you ready for me to fill you up? For me to make you a mommy? For you to make me a dad?"

"Yes," I breathe out, letting my eyes slide upward.

Asuma's chest is pumping like crazy from the workout, his smoking catching up to him in the moment. His eyes are locked on my figure in the mirror, jaw locking when he notices my sight has shifted. "Fuck," he grumbles, gripping my thighs to tug me backward, his dick stilling in me. It's only a second or two before his cum spirts out, filling my pussy with a weird warmth I haven't experienced before.

His head falls again, his forehead pressed against mine, the sticky sweat helping us stick together better. "You're so pretty. Absolutely beautiful, baby doll. Perfect in every way," he babbles, routinely squeezing and releasing my hips from his grasp. "Fuck," he grumbles again, holding on to my hips as he pulls on me.

There's a shallow sweat-made silhouette of my body against the mirror, outlining my position against it. I'm tugged backward, pulled off the mirror before Asuma positions know he wishes; still on my knees, ass up, and my cheek pushed into the carpet of our bedroom.

"I was right," he mutters, an airy laugh following the short sentence. His hands are between my legs, spreading me open so he can get a good look at my pussy. Embarrassment crawls up my body again from being so exposed, even if it is Asuma looking at me like this. "Watching my cum drain into you is my favorite part."

"Asuma," I whine, trying - and failing - to close my legs, cutting off his view of my soaked cunt.

"What, baby doll? I can't enjoy the sight of your pussy clenching as my semen seeps into you? It's a beautiful sight, I'm going to enjoy it while I can." His fingers dip into me again, pushing his cum into me faster. I might be the selfish lover but Asuma is the impatient lover. "Lord, I can't wait for your stretch marks to start forming."

[youaresimplylovely]

“Fast and Fabulous: A Driven Love” 

---- A love story between a Formula 1 Driver and a Supermodel

Chapter 2 (Prev. Chapter) Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5. Chapter 6

Pairing: Carlos Sainz!Formula 1 Driver x Famous Supermodel!Reader

Words: 727 words

Warnings: Fluff, major plot twist at the end hahaha, mentions of F1, timeline in the story starts at 2021, translated filipino :>

Proofread!!

Summary: An Evening with The Dela Cruz Family

Pots, pans, and utensils clatter around the kitchen of the Dela Cruz house. Your mother groaned, putting down the knife she used to chop the potatoes. You could see the anger in her eyes when your father came home to work as he entered the house. 

"Hi, honey."

 Your father grins nervously as he smiles at your mother. You and your brother turn your heads from the TV as you look at your father, holding your laughs. You could hear the nervousness from your father's voice.

“Ano ba yan Jean! Ilang beses na ah! No shoes diyos ko! (What is that Jean! How many times already! No shoes my God!)” 

Your mother loudly scoffed, approaching your father and glaring at him.

 "I know, mon amour, and I'm so sorry, and I am also sorry for being late."

 Your father chuckles nervously, approaching your mother. He hugs her, rubbing her back, trying to calm her down. 

"Now, mon amour, care to tell me why you're so mad? Other than me?.” Your father flashed a bright smile. 

"Pretty sure all you, Dad."

 Mark laughed, sitting up from the couch as he patted his father's shoulder. 

"Mark!" Your mother glared at him, making him laugh even more. 

"Ay, I'm sorry, ma.; here, let me help you cook." Mark smiled softly, heading to the kitchen to continue his mother's left-off cooking. 

"Sometimes I forget mama is half Filipino and half Spanish."

 Pao snickered, watching you and your Kuya James (older brother) play F1 21'. 

"Isa ka pa Paolo! (You are another one, Paolo!)."

Your mother pulled away from the hug with your father as she glared at Pao.

"AH! Ma! You are the most beautiful woman, and I love you very much."

Pao's eyes widened at his mother's yelling; he sat up, approached her, and hugged her.    Your mom snickered, wrapping his arms around Pao and hugging him. 

"You know I don't like you coming home late." Your mother pouted at your father, still hugging Pao. 

"I know, mon amour, and I'm sorry, we just had so many meetings." 

Your father apologized, kissing your mother's cheek and making your mother smile. 

"Oh hey there, honey." Your father smiled, seeing you, sitting next to you.

"Hi there, father." You giggle, smiling, putting the PS4 controller down. 

"Ah, playing F1 21'?" Your father smiled at you and James. 

"Our little girl is excited to finally attend her first F1 race." James chuckled, pinching your cheek.

"Well, it's good honey that the race we're attending is at Monza; I picked it out for you cause I know you're such a Ferrari fan."

 Your father smiled, opening his arms. Smiling happily, you bury your face in his chest, sighing contentedly. 

"Thank you, Dad." you smile, looking up at your father. 

You couldn't be happier; you've been an F1 fan for many years, yet you've never attended a race. The reason you always gave was that you were busy, especially as a supermodel, which is true, but you were scared. More than worried, you never knew why. This was how you always felt, but that didn't matter anymore; attending your first race is great, and now you're excited. Your brothers attended races except for Pao; it was both your first. 

The Dela Cruz family is a complete sports fan, except when picking teams to support, especially in Formula 1. Your father and three older brothers supported Mercedes. They always have and always will. While you were a Ferrari fan, solid, as in, and then Pao, who is the complete polar opposite of you. He was a Red Bull fan, which is crazy, and you keep saying that to him. 

Soon, Your thoughts were disturbed by a long, loud flush of the toilet coming from the bathroom, causing everyone to look at the door. Laughing as they saw your other older brother, Kuya Dan (older brother), come out of the bathroom, chuckling nervously. 

"What's up? Oh hey, dad,"  He laughs, noticing your father as he smiles, sitting beside him.  

“Tagal mo tumae boi (you took so long to poop boi)” 

“Aba sino ka dyan, tagal mo din mag cr (Ah who are you there, you take long in the cr too) Dan rolled his eyes, sticking his tongue out at Pao. 

“O sya tama na yan, let’s eat! (Oh that’s enough, let’s eat!) Your mother laughs.

[adoresmiles]

His Concealed Obsession.

Chapter six

Tags: @violetmuses @nobodygetsza @planetblaque @deja-r @unicorndelulu @yassbishimvintage @jacobscipioswoman @nelo0wesker @peaxhygirl @bunniandhoney @aaronhotchnerlover

"Uncle Marcus!!"

"There's my second baby girl, congratulations!"

"Mahalo iā ʻoe, hauʻoli wau i ka ʻike oe."

"Aloha and right back at ya baby girl."

"Look at you getting better with your island lingo. I'm proud of you, keep it up uncle Marcus."

"Thanks to good translation and your brother. He be talking y'all native languages all the time."

"Well I'm glad you are learning , I'm always down to give you some tutor lessons."

"How much you about to charge a brother?"

"$160 but with a discount for being my uncle."

"A damn shame , you just like your damn daddy. Somewhere in that island bloodline of yours the hint of black is there."

"Oh Marcus , don't be over talking her head off. Nani it's so good to see you!"

"It's so good to see you as well auntie. Thank you for joining us this afternoon . I know you rather be back at home under your air conditioning."

"Aw baby, anything that deals with you and your brothers I'm always there for support. I'm so proud of you and your accomplishments."

"I tell her all the time how much she is like her mother and grandmothers."

"Yeah well I think you did a pretty good job with choosing the right woman to marry."

"He did because let me tell you, the last one he was with was such a bitch."

"You do realize that Jaxon mother is here as well."

"Kanani isn't her daughter , I'm confused on why she's here in the first place when it's not her child Hondo."

"Did he just call you Hondo?"

"It's my nickname they given to me on swat. Also I invited her because we are a blended family. Storm and her get along well and she practically watched her grow up."

"Well I think that is very considerate of you. She been in Nani life just as much Marcus and I have ."

"Thank you Theresa ,Kanani how about yo-"

"There goes my favorite sister!"

"I'm your only sister Jaxon."

"Yeah well sometimes I feel like I have three."

"Well you always told me that I have three personalities.Where is my sweet nephew at? Keith brought Coco with him and you know he loves her."

"You just answered your own question, Lo and him are playing with her right now."

"Oh I got to go see my baby, I catch up with you all before I leave."

I placed a fake smile on my face and waved a quick bye to the small group and made my way over to my sister in law and nephew.

"Auntie Nani bear!"

"Well if it isn't my favorite little human. Gosh you gotten so big! I feel like if you keep growing you are going to outgrow me soon."

"He is going to take his height after your side of the family for sure. I had to buy him an entire new car seat this morning because he can no longer fit the other one anymore."

"Oh wow , he's going to be so much taller than me.  Have Jax start teaching him any Spanish yet?"

"For the most part Jax does but it's mostly simple catch phrases. This morning after my workout , I had caught Jax and your dad trying to teach him how to salsa."

"Sounds about right , dad tried teaching coco how to do the salsa one day and it didn't end well."

"Got to love your dad and his crazy antics. Speaking of your father , what's going on between you guys?"

"What do you mean?"

"Come on Nani, there's so much tension between you, dad and your brothers."

"It's nothing worth bringing up again."

"That is completely bull shit and you know it. I overheard your dad telling Jax about how you feel that KP and yourself are being treated differently from him."

"I don't speak on the past, therefore leave it where it needs to be Lauren."

"No , because my sister in law is sitting here all sad and shit. You couldn't even look at Jax and let alone your own father."

"Well shit happens and it's life."

"Listen what you said was completely true about your father. Your father does have some issues that he needs to workout within himself. I even told your brother that as well. Hell your mother and I even talked about the situation before you got over here."

"Damn you guys are really in my business."

"Well not necessarily, your father came to your brother about it and when he left your brother came to me about it."

"So basically you overheard the conversation and Jax told you how he felt about it?"

"Yes , you known me for the longest to know that I don't get in your guys business unless one of you come to me about it. Which is also rare as well ."

"I love my dad but the unfair treatment is getting worse as time passes. Everything I do , he questions and I don't like being questioned let alone being told what to do. This is my life and everyone is just in it. I run it how I want and it seems as if I do that then I'm doing shit wrong."

"Trust me when I say this, I know how you feel. Maybe you should talk with Jaxon as well?"

"Why would I do that? Whenever KP and I go to him about a situation that involves our father he is on his side. Even when he's wrong , your husband is on his side. Yes I get he's dad first born and his right hand man and all but damn. There's a sibling code that he should follow too!"

"What sibling code should I be following ?"

"Oh my gosh, I'm not going to do this right now."

"Nah , don't walk away. You were comfortable with ranting to dad about some fake story that you got in your head of yours. So go ahead and speak your mind now. I'm right here."

"Let's not get all hostile right now , there's a time and place for everything and right now isn't the time. It's your sister day and our son is in front of us."

"This doesn't concern you at all Lauren ."

"You need to check yourself."

"I'm not going to stand here and go back forth with your ass Jaxon. I am in a good mood and I'm not going to let you nor anyone else ruin that for me. So if you excuse me I'm going go and speak with my guest."

"You always runn-"

"It's called being mature Jaxson , which is clearly something you have no experience with. As I stated before today is about me and I only want to be surround with positive energy today . If you are not going to be negative Nancy then leave. Lauren and your son will be driven home by one of us and a plate will be delivered with her as well. The choice is yours bookie."

"Aye y'all two cut it out! Jaxon chill the hell out man , today ain't the day. If you wanted to speak on the situation then you should have did it before the cookout started."

"Exactly why I said there's a time and place for everything! But your stupid ass brother felt the need to speak on the situation."

"Well if you wasn't talking shit about me to my wife then we wouldn't have been in this situation."

"Nobody was talking shit about you Jaxon. I was telling her how I felt and she was being a listening ear to me . Just like you always do , you came at the end of the conversation and take whatever you heard out it and turn it into about you. New flash Jax , this isn't about you! Let go of me KP , I'm not going to hit him."

"When you say that , a shoe is always getting thrown immediately afterwards. Jaxon , this isn't the time to have that conversation right now . Like Nani said there's a time and place for everything . You could have called her and talked it out prior of the cookout today. Let's not take this day from our sister and make it about us . Today is her day and we celebrating her accomplishment."

"Of course you're going to take her side. Everyone takes the brat side when she knows her ass is wrong for speaking on me."

"Do you hear yourself ? Nobody is taking sides. You know what ? You got it , we ain't about to go back and forth with a grown ass man who can't comprehend for shit. Nani let's go , Rita and Kelly been looking for you."

"Find me later Nani,  so we can finish catching up ."

I nodded my head to her signaling that I was agreeing to catch up with later on. Taking a glance at my eldest brother , who was avoid to make eye contact with me. I rolled my eyes and turned to walk away with KP next to me. As Keith and I were walking away , I could hear Lauren cursing at Jaxon. Which she hardly ever did especially out in the public eye. But in this case, he deserved it.

“Sometimes I wonder how the hell we end up being his younger siblings.”

“Dad was a player back in the day just like uncle Mike . We were bound to be each other siblings , he was just born with his parents fucked up ways.”

“No bull shit Nani , he got her victim card. Manipulating ass winch . But let’s stop talking about them before he try to say anything else.”

“You right and thank you for backing me up.”

“Aye that’s what I’m suppose to , we’re blood . We ain’t suppose to go against each other . Right or wrong ima back you up and then correct you when nobody is around. It should be the same on your end as well.”

“Don’t worry it is , now let’s go see Kelly and Rita before the- is that Darius ? I’ll be back, I got to go handle some business.”

Translation

Mahalo iā ʻoe, hauʻoli nui wau e ʻike iā ʻoe : Thank you , I'm so glad to see you.

Aloha : Hi

[armoricaroyalty]

"He said they're getting a divorce." Emily's voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. "He said that the King has been having an affair." Mary stood very still, arms folded across her chest. Emily watched her closely. They were cousins, but they hadn't grown up together, hadn't spent more than a few hours together until their shared association with the St. Fleur siblings had drawn them into one another's orbit. Emily had been relieved to have a ready-made ally among the St. Fleurs, but Mary had remained inscrutable to her. Her jaw tightened; her shoulders inched upward. Surprise, Emily thought, but not shock. Her father bad been right, Mary had somehow already known about the affair. When she spoke, her tone was all business. "What else did he tell you?"

Previous | Chapter Start | Beginning | Next

Transcript under the cut.

EMILY | Wow...Mary, look at the view! EMILY | This has to be the best room in the house! why on earth is it just sitting empty? MARY | It belonged to the Crown Princess. MARY | The late Crown Princess. EMILY | ...oh. MARY | After she died in 1987, the King—the old King—had all her things sold or put into storage. Apparently, the memories were too painful. EMILY | ...that makes sense, I suppose. EMILY | It's normal to go a little crazy when you lose someone, isn't it? You end up doing all kinds of things that don't make much sense. MARY | Em. What was it you needed to tell me? EMILY | I don't know if it's true, alright? It's just something my dad told me. MARY | What is it? EMILY | It's about the King and Queen... [ clock ticking ] FREDERICK | So...Dad is upstairs? Resting? ELISE | [ tersely ] He had a long flight from Iona. FREDERICK | He got back Thursday, didn't he? [ car door slamming, muffled voices ] ELISE | That'll be your brother! ELISE | I'm going to go let them in— FREDERICK | Ma— JACQUES | Hey, hey party people! Look who's finally here! VIVI | Hello, everyone. JACQUES | ...wait, where's Dad? ELISE | He's resting, JJ. Freddy, go find the girls and have them meet us in the marble room. I want some nice pictures before we sit down for dinner. FREDERICK | Really? [ sighs ] Okay... MARY | ...play it cool, okay? Just...act like you don't know anything. EMILY | How? Mary, this is huge— FREDERICK | What's huge? EMILY | N-nothing! We weren't talking about anything! MARY | Aaaaactually, we were talking about tampons— EMILY | Mary! Please! MARY | —and unfortunately for Emily, I only stock ultra-wides. FREDERICK | Okay, okay! Sorry I asked... FREDERICK | Anyway....Brace yourselves, Jacques and Vivi just showed up with Hugo, and Mom has a fu— er, a regular photographer in the marble room. MARY | Uh, I don't think she wants me in the pictures... FREDERICK | No, she wants both of you. She said, "go find the girls," plural. EMILY | Really? That's great, Mare, she's warming up to you—I FREDERICK | I don't know what's up with her. She's been acting super weird since we got here. MARY | Oh? I uh, hadn't noticed. FREDERICK | Yeah, the vibes are rancid. She's acting like someone died or something...

[chic-beyond-the-wall-oc-acct]

Ok, I've not seen it here but why are so many people on like TikTok and Twitter saying that the people in the Appalachians who didn't evacuate for the hurricane got what they deserved? I genuinely don't understand. People typically evacuate TO the Appalachians to avoid hurricane weather. All we got were flash flood warnings, which happen and are typically pretty easy to get over and recover from. And it's not just the fact that we don't get hurricane warnings, when things started to look worse we were told to stay put. And even for the few people who were told to evacuate, 30 minutes to an hour before they got hit, when you live in a place where people typically go to when they evacuate, where do you go? How do you know how far is far enough to be safe?

Let's take Asheville, a day trip from where my brother and his family live. It's underwater. A place 300 miles off the coast and 2100 feet above sea level. Ashville is one of the places people typically go to to avoid hurricane weather.

The damage in the Appalachians from Hurricane Helene is absolutely devastating. I have lived in Virginia my whole life and have never seen anything worse than a few flooded fields and raised creeks, this was not that. I've never seen the schools be turned into shelters. I'm almost 20, and I know that isn't a long time when you look at everything from before but that's still a good chunk of years. I don't recognize a lot of places anymore.

People's houses have been washed away, there are people dead and missing. Most people didn't have cell service for days and the first thing they see when they get back online to maybe see how folks are doing or get the news is people saying they deserved what they got. Entire towns have been washed away, bridges and roads are literally gone. They're not just underwater or damaged, they're gone. a damn broke and water had to be released into the already flooded rivers to stop others from breaking.

The land and infrastructure of the Appalachians isn't made for this. In most places the water has nowhere to go. It's too much for the ground, which is mostly clay, to soak up and in most places, like the valley my house sits in, the mountains form bowl-like shapes that keep the water from flowing out.

The wind was so bad we had a small twister touch down at my house. I joked with a few friends how it was a polite windstorm because it stayed in the road but stuff like that is literally terrifying. It threw something that knocked one of my windows in and I had to hold it up by myself. Our house is surrounded by 100 year old oaks and pines. If the one that fell had fallen to the left instead of the right, I'd probably be dead because it would have landed in my bedroom. One of our generators started leaking in the middle of the night and as my dad got up for work at 2 am he had to check to see if my mom, who had fallen asleep in the living room, was still alive because you could smell the gas which carries carbon monoxide. And that's just our personal experience. I feel absolutely awful for those that had it worse.

The Great Smokey Mountains, America's most visited national park, had 13.3 million visitors last year. Judging by everything that's been said online I doubt half of those people sympathize with what the people that live in that area are going through. As I said, we get flash flood warnings but nobody prepares you for this level of flooding! I guess it's easy to sit back and criticize the people that are literally suffering right now when you aren't affected at all. I can say I have never criticized people who got caught in a disaster nor have I met people who do so this is all so bizarre to me. It's crazy that the bar is so low and people can't even get across it. Hardly any sympathy and even less aid.

I really hate to put all of this here but I really need to get it off my chest. This was supposed to be a short ramble but seeing how completely unsympathetic people are being made me so angry.

[thepepsislvt]

Corazon x ftm reader

angst with comfort <3

warnings: Doflamingo, angst, deadnaming, transphobia, t slur (im trans i can say it i promise), Doflamingo, Doffy, Donquixote Doflamingo

word count: 875

based in true events of my thanksgiving this week, thanks dad for this wonderful angst i get to write

The feast that Doflamingo was planning this week had brought stress to everyone in the entire Donquixote Family. There was so much pressure everyone was under that even one small inconvenience would cause someone to snap. The feast was supposed to be celebratory of the recent battle the Family had overcome. But nothing seemed to go as planned. You were in charge of planning deserts but no matter what you thought of Doflamingo always had something to say about it.

“We could always do a variety of different things” You would try to reason with him with a list of things you wrote in a notebook

“That would be a waste of time, why can't you just pick something?” He groaned from the chair he was sitting in.

Currently in the room sat you, Doflamingo, Baby 5, and your boyfriend, Corazon. Though Corazon didn't talk, you both made a way of communication. He was the perfect boyfriend you could ask for, even though he was related to such a monster he called brother.

“I would, Doffy, but you have said ‘no’ or ‘find something else’ to everything that I suggest. Maybe you should pick something yourself” you say through gritted teeth, calling him ‘Doffy’ as a way to show you're not messing around.

“That's not my job, I have to coordinate everything. Aren't you supposed to be good at this? Being you and all, wouldn't that make it easier?” He sits up in his chair, glancing over to you

Corazon knew exactly where this was heading and put a hand on your shoulder in an attempt to calm you down and warn you not to push. But you were stubborn and pissed off at the moment.

“And what do you mean by ‘being me and all’?”

“You know exactly what I mean”

“No, I don't why don't you dumb it down for me” you said finally raising your voice. After you said that he slammed his fist down on the table next to him

“It should be easy for you since you belong in the kitchen you fucking tranny, when can you finally stop pretending to be a boy and just be a normal fucking person?!”

“I am a boy! You're just-”

He quickly cut you off and stood at his full height to scare you

“If you were a real boy then we wouldn't have to have this conversation, you're just a girl who's fucked up in the head. You may say that I'm crazy but at least I don't pretend that I'm something I'm not! I'm tired of your childish games, grow up for once!”

After that, you ran out of the room before you started crying in front of him, that's the last thing you needed. Baby 5 stared at where you ran off but made no move. Doflamingo sat back down in his chair with a loud groan before looking at his younger brother.

“I don't understand how you can stand her-” before Doflamingo could continue Corazon stood up abruptly making the chair he was sitting in scoot back and making a loud scraping sound against the hard floor. The younger of the brothers went to find and console his boyfriend.

After roughly an hour he found you in the kitchen, crying at the counter with your face in your arms. You didn't hear Corazon walk next to you through your sobs. Only when he wrapped his arms around you to pull you into a hug did you finally notice him. You quickly returned the hug and cried into his shirt. He had kneeled to hug you easier. After a while he pulled away to write on some paper. ‘please don't listen to him, he's under stress but that doesn't give him a pass’. You knew Doflamingo would never say that to your face normally, he usually kept it to himself since you came out. Corazon eventually led you to your shared room to have you take a nap.

Eventually, it was the day of the dreaded feast and for once everyone seemed like it was calm. Everyone was sitting at the table enjoying themselves and it seemed to be back to normal until Doflamingo decided to make a toast. it went as usual thanking everyone and saying how good it was to win that battle. Once he got to thanking everyone by name he said your dead name instead. Since you grew up with him and Corazon he knew exactly what it was but everyone else seemed confused about who it was. You held back tears as you continued to eat and Corazon held your hand reassuringly under the table.

After dinner, Corazon took you outside on the balcony to smoke with you. As he finished his cigarette he threw the end on the ground and stepped on it. He sat down with his back against the railing and gestured that you do the same. When you sat down next to him he took your cigarette out of your hand and put it out. He wrapped his arm around you and suddenly you saw a bluish tint around you. He leaned his face closer to yours.

“I love you, my handsome boy, I promise to get you out of here”

[sarahdogoc80]

"Native Gene". What the Hell does that even mean Lily Orchard?

Jesus Christ I step away for a while and I come back to craziness. What the fuck is a native Gene? Does she mean her skin is Darker then her siblings? Does that mean her DNA alines more with natives compared to her full blooded sister?.

While I don't like to get into race and it's ugly history it should probably be stated that Lily came from two white parents (I've seen their pictures) and has mostly white grandparents. So at the very least she is way more white then not. Plus I know is trying to darken her skin with makeup.... Which feel a little iffy.

I am uncomfortable with people claiming to be something they aren't for some kind of street cred. I've almost been killed because of my race. But because Lily is white she likey hasn't been victim of a race related crime. I know she claims she was stabbed but I think that's because she was trans not ""native""".

My mom after she had me was cut off form her dad's side of the family because my dad was Mexican. So almost two years later when her dad's parents claim they wanted to meet me because I was their first ever great grand child my mom was so excited for me to meet them. So we go over there and I'm running around because I'm a baby who is finally walking. Well my great grandpa pulls out a gun and "starts cleaning it". Note because of how my mom grew up she didn't think it was odd he decided to clean a gun right then and there. So I have eventually stopped running around and started just bouncing myself up and down while holding onto the couch. That's when my great grandpa takes the shot. He missed by mer inches. Infact you can still see when the bullet went into the floor as my mom now owes that house. My mom quickly picked me up and ran out of there. My great grandpa tried to play it off as an accidently discard. But my mom is a lot of things but stupid sure as hell isn't one of them. So just because of my race my great grandpa was willing to shoot me his own family as a fucking baby. Just because my dad wasn't white. Well she didn't talk to them till after my chemo. At which point because she wanted to see her dad more regularly (he lived with his parents after my grandma divorced him). So she eventually took me and my brother over there. And they fucking hated my brother because he looks more Mexican then I do. Especially after the chemo. Due to almost dying and avoiding sun light for years like a vampire my skin had become lighter. And all of a sudden my great grandparents loved me. They started buying me gifts, started wanting me to come over all the time. Actually you know interacting with me. But they did non of that with my brother. So after mom starts trusting them again she lets her dad take us over there without her supervision.

Well one of the worse cases of racism I seen happen against my brother was one day we were over there. My great grandpa gave me a bag of chips. Now my brother was like 3/4ish at the time and still mute. So when my grandpa sees his dad give me chips he tells my brother to go get some. Now because my brother can't speak at this time. He runs up to him and hugs his leg with one up and does the gummies hands with the other. My great grandpa without care or hesitation kicks my toddler brother away and he hits the TV stand. He is shocked and so am I. He sits there moves his hand to the back of his head (where I assumed he hit it) looked at my great grandpa with the most betrayed and saddest look and start crying. My great grandpa didn't say sorry and when I asked why he did that. He said he doesn't want no "r*traded Wetback" touching him. So I went over to my brother to check him and he raised his arms and wanted to be picked up so I picked him up and almost fell because he was half my size. But I get us to the couch and he starts biting his pointer finger (note this is a stress behavior he did well into his teens) while crying. I check the back of his head and while there is a lump forming no blood. So I thought he would be fine. And while he specifically was fine (my mom rushed him to the ER when my grandpa gave us back to our mom and she seen the lump. And they said was going to be okay. But if he had a concussion or something I don't remember I just wanted to know if he was going to be okay.) if this happens to a child and a lump forms take your kid to the ER. I had to soothe my brother because my great grandma and my grandpa were ignoring the whole situation. I eventually offered to give him a back scratch and he calmed down. After this I tried to share my chip (another note chips are and always have been my brother's favorite food) and my great grandpa yells telling me not to share with him. I asked why and he said he doesn't deserve chips. And because I was scared I pretended to eat the chips while my brother kept trying to get me to give him some and actually tried to grab the back to which my great grandpa yelled at him that he'd pop him in his mouth if he didn't sit down and shut the fuck up. He's yelling this at a mute autistic toddler because he has the audacity to be born. I eventually don't care anymore and throw the half eaten bag away. They don't notice it's half eaten he wasn't that crazy. So now me and my brother are stuck in this living room watch a show we don't care about. My brother has one hand rubbing his lump and the other one he is bite on. I have to keep taking his finger out because he actually started to break he skin. He was under so much stress he kept biting even while he was bleeding. So I (I was a weird kid and always had bandaids on me) band aid his finger and had to keep stopping him for bitting. My great grandpa starts taunting us and say he can already tell my brother is going to be a drug dealer and stuff like that. But the breaking point were I did the first time asked my grandpa to take us home. Was when my great grandpa noticed my brother had asked for a hug and he said "Watch out *my name* one day the little spick's hand will be around your throat when he needs drug money." I then yelled "stop it popal (what we called him)" and asked my grandpa to take us home. To which he said no. Eventually the old bastard goes down for his nap. At which point I ask again for my grandpa to take us home. He says no your mom is sleeping I can't drop you off till 6. He then gets up and gives us each a bag of chips from his dad's stash and tell us to go play up in the playroom. So that what we did. It was more like we were hiding in there because we didn't want to have to deal out great grandpa.

These are my worse personal experiences with racism. This is what it is on a personal level. Just fear, hatred, abuse, and traumatizing. I feel Lily is also glamorizing the idea of what us people of non white skin colors have to face. And if I'm being honest the Hispanic/Latino, Blacks, and Native Americans get it the worse. And because Lily has neither black or Hispanic/Latino heritage anywhere she can remotely leech off of but does have a Native line she can. It's probably why she pushed this idea that she is one. Because she wants to be part of something she isn't. She is still trans and bisexual and those are two groups she could be fighting for. But no she wants to play dress up and pretend to be a race she isn't and didn't have to live her whole life as. Just so she can be a part of something she's not. Because she fetishizes and glamorizes the struggle and victories she only knows a fraction about. You are gross Lily. You don't actually care about what racism is. You don't care about how it effects us in life for the rest of our lives on a personal level. I almost died and my brother was abused for no other reason then our dad's heritage. You need help Lily. You need to look at the human side of racism and not the clean markable racism you were taught in school.

Edit I didn't get to participate in the cool Internet racism. Were you can drop one liners and own the conservative/ racist. I had to live in the racism that was ugly and cruel. I got to be told my own brother would one day kill me because he looked a little too Mexican for mein führer. I lived in the racism that tried to teach me I am worth more because I am lighter skinned. I lived in the racism with abuse because my brother wasn't the right skin tone. I hope I made my point clear as to my opinion on Lily's race and why it does matter

[gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat]

Group C, Round 2, Poll 6:

Propaganda under the cut

Korn

he sits in his little grandpa sweaters and plays chess and is like "heehee i'm such a harmless old man see I even retired from being a mafia boss and let my son take over look at me I love and support all my sons and let them date as many boys they want and be eccentric and everything aren't I such a good dad" meanwhile he's been manipulating his middle son for so many years now that he doesn't even realize that he's being manipulated, his eldest son has been written off as crazy and eccentric and no one takes him seriously and he has no problem enforcing that idea, and his youngest son doesn't trust him one bit but can't tell his brothers about how shady their dad is because he's the only one who sees it. Does all kinds of other shady shit like killing his foster sister's husband and then keeping her secretly locked away in an attic for like over 10 years, manages to manipulate her son into joining the mafia family (all while not telling him his mother's true identity or that she's even still alive), and then also withholds the fact that he's the son of his foster sister even when his son starts dating the guy. He's playing everyone around him like a fiddle so he can have his little powerful mafia empire.

Phillip Wittebane/Emperor Belos

(SPOILER) Has been gaslighting everyone he knows for hundreds of years (before he kills them or just discards them). Claims god won't love them if they don't do what he says (i.e., participate in his plot to genocide them). Girlbossed his way into becoming the emperor of a land of people he hates.

Gaslited the entire Boiling Isles into giving up their freedom to do any magic in favor of some cool tattoos that can murder you. Gatekept the door to the human realm. Girlbossed his brother fatally with a knife

This mother fucker gaslight, gatekeep, girlbosses his clone of his brother, the main character, A WHOLE FUCKING DIMENSION!!??? He even tries to gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss in his final moments!!!

[rosielovesspence]

I think your requests are open. Sorry if I missed something saying they were closed. But I just finished twdg season 2, and I'm in shambles. I love Luke and definitely looked to him as a big brother figure that I never had. I was hoping we could get a fic or headcanons about him sort of in Lee's place? Like he finds a young kid and takes them in for a while. Yeah, hopefully that makes sense.

Pookie my requests are never closed 🎀 I love him sm, he'd so be a girl dad tbh

🎀 Luke was genuinely terrified when he found you, I mean this random apocalypse starts and you're in the woods.

🎀 He's horrified by the thought of having to kill a kid, and luckily you prove you're not infected and he doesn't have to

🎀 Luke doesn't even have the time to worry about if he can care for you or not before he's got you piggyback carrying you back to the house

🎀 Everyone else is fond of you, but since Luke found you they make you fully his responsibility

🎀Everyone else will kindly offer you things but Luke is much more insistent, whereas Pete would ask "Are you hungry?" Luke is already handing you a sandwich saying, "Eat. You're hungry."

🎀He may seem strict at times but truly he's just panicked about making sure you're safe, he make have small panic streaks and yell if you go somewhere by yourself but he's trying

🎀 If you're on your best behavior though, so is he, carrying you piggyback around the house or letting you do normal kid stuff and paint his nails (the nail polish is probably expired but you have fun so he doesn't care)

🎀 Teaching you how to shoot and stab was another challenge, he didn't want you to have to fight anything but having to teach you things was crazy.

🎀 The hardest part of having you is finding you clothes while you're so small and young. Most of the time he has to find XL clothes and have Carlos use his needle work to crop and shrink them to be your size.

🎀Finding you young was quite an experience when he had to go on field missions and came back with crayons and paper instead of ammo

🎀 Once you became older it's much easier, you're much more mature and attentive but with Luke around you're definitely less mature than the average kid your age

🎀 Eventually when Luke finds Clem you confused her. Since she was raised to immediately meet the scary world, your innocence and joking manner scares her, it's only cause you've been raised getting a kiss on the cheek and hug before bed by Luke

🎀 Everyone can tell you're the most important thing to him, putting himself in danger constantly to protect you, showing you off to the others anytime you do anything good

"Woah! Pete, look, look! Y/n did these!" Luke would hold up a target paper, showing you hit the bullseye and then in the other hand a photo you drew of him and you. "Wow Luke, they've got a good shot, but you've shown me that drawing already, they drew it when they were six." Luke chuckled, "I know but it's just so cute."

🎀 I'm mentioned it before but piggyback rides are an everyday thing with this man.

"Whatcha doing?" Luke walked up behind you on the couch as you played on a small game console you found. "I found this old thing! It's got Zelda on it!" You told him excitedly before shrieking as he picked you up off the couch, sitting your legs on his shoulders and holding you up there. "Put me down!" You yell out while giggling. So he semi drops you so your arms are around his neck. "Much better." He walks you around the house, holding your legs up with his arms as you laughed.