#my current plan is to try to find a position elsewhere if I can (Operation Get The Heck Out of Here)

[liesonthefloordramatically]

But it's not real And you don't exist And I can't recall the last time I was kissed

[harostar]

Copy and pasted from elsewhere. My attempt to summarize Roman Holiday!

Roman's story follows him as a young man in Mistral, getting into trouble with a pair of Spider goons (Brick and Mortar). They attack him for mugging someone on their turf, so he beats them up and steals the protection money they were carrying. A week later, the Spiders pick him up and bring him to meet Lil' Miss herself. (Roman likes milfs.) He convinces her that he can do better than her current people, and eventually rises to become her right-hand man over the years.

But he's overly-ambitious, taking the Twins on a raid of a gang's base of operations. Paul Parrot has a "treasure" in the basement, which turns out to be a Rat Grimm he imported from Menagerie that he feeds people to. Roman manages to outwit him by injuring the Grimm with the twins' help, then provokes Paul until he flips out and his rage makes him the more desirable target for the Grimm. They escape, but Lil' Miss is pissed about him moving on his own AND putting her daughters' at risk. This was all according to his plan, as he wanted to get out of having to play bodyguard to the twins.

Eventually, he's caught taking an extra protection payment for himself. His old partner, Cammie (very similar to Ilia) warns him and lets him escape after a fight. He flees Mistral, going over his options — Vacuo has a strong criminal element, but it's hard to break into. Atlas is...well...Mantle has nothing worthwhile and trying in Atlas itself is too risky. So he heads for Vale.

Roman's first criminal act is holding up a bank, which goes comically. Literally no one believes its happening, because Vale doesn't HAVE major criminal stuff happening. A pair of incompetent Huntsmen (Roch and Kandi) try to stop him, but end up beaten while Roman escapes. They end up in hot water of their behavior, with Ozpin being interviewed about it briefly. Roman begins building a name for himself, coming to the attention of Hei Xiong. He's threatened, but walks away alive and decides to further reinvent himself by having his Spiders tattoo covered.

Meanwhile, young Trivia begins to rebel against her parents. They keep her in isolation, forcing her to wear a brown contact to hide her mismatched eyes in photos and whenever guests come over. Her father is a prominent City Manager working for the Vale council, and they make a big fuss over her "overactive imagination" and "refusal" to speak. She has a private tutor, a former Huntress that was fired from Signal Combat School after getting a student killed. I THOUGHT it might be Gretchen, but it doesn't match what we know — it was Signal, not Beacon, so Ozpin wasn't involved. Trivia drugs her teacher and sneaks out using her Semblance. She goes into the city and gets bullied by a gang of girls, ending with the police picking her up. One of the officers suspects abuse, but their hands are tied. There's a party going on, and Trivia rampages through it using her Semblance to cause trouble.

As the years go on, Trivia keeps sneaking out and rebelling. She goes on a stealing spree in town, coming home with a ton of new stuff. Her father catches her and notes that he paid everyone off to cover up her antics. In a rage, she throws her new parasol at him. This leads to her parents locking her in her room, using increasingly complex locks. She studies tutorials and manuals to learn to pick locks, but eventually has one too complex. With "Neo"'s encouragement, she tries to damage the lock with hairspray and a candle. Instead, she starts a fire and is forced to leap from her window to escape. In doing so, she discovers she can make her illusions more solid temporarily — reinforcing her parasol to break her fall, and being caught by "Neo". Her parents are furious, and her mother smashes "Neo" in front of her. Trivia finds she can no longer make "Neo", but realizes it was simply her own wishes being expressed by her Semblance.

Trivia is sent to Lady Browning's private finishing school, a school her mother graduated from. It has incredibly strict rules, uniforms, and a bunch of mean girls led by the Malachite Twins. Trivia is relentlessly bullied, until one night she sneaks out to follow the twins. She witnesses them attack Roman, and helps him escape. Afterwards, Lady Browning offers her a spot in her "advanced" program and asks her to help capture Roman. This advanced program trains...well....basically Black Widows, for lack of a better way to describe it. Advanced combat lessons, espionage training, lessons in deception and reading other people, ect. Trivia excels, but also makes contact with Roman. She introduces herself as Neo, because she doesn't want to be connected to her father. She also begins dying her hair and altering her uniform, beginning to create the persona we all know.

They immediately form a strong partnership, with Roman training her further in combat and criminal stuff. He has the Schemes Board from Chibi, and they plot together before pulling off their first big heist. They hit up the warehouse supplying most of the city's coffee, and steal what they can. Roch shows up, having lost his license and out for revenge. Neo hits him with a truck to save Roman, and they end up destroying the warehouse leaving them with the only supply of coffee to fence. Roman gifts Neo with Hush, while she gives him his signature hat and makes matching outfits for them.

They carry out various wacky crimes, making a profit while putting Xiong in an awkward position. He controls crime in Vale, and has the police under his thumb. But he doesn't want to claim he's involved with these wacky crimes, nor does he want to admit he's got competition. His conflict with Lil' Miss starts heating up, with both parties starting to gun for Roman.

Neo discovers Lady Beat's server room, and realizes the school is a way not only to train agents but to basically have hidden cameras on all the prominent families/businesses in Vale. She steals the hard drive, fights off the Twins when they come for her, and realizes Lil' Miss and Lady Beat are working together. Honey Wine, Roman's old friend from Mistral, helps the Spiders capture him to pay off her loan to Lil' Miss for her Vale nightclub. In desperation, Neo approaches a pair of cops parked outside Roman's apartment — they take her to Xiong, who calls himself her "uncle". He explains that her father owes him a lot of money, and he intends to use her as a hostage to get his money. Even so, he wishes he had a smart kid like her instead of his idiot son Junior. Neo knocks him out and assumes his appearance, joining his forces as they go after Lil' Miss and her gang.

Neo hijacks the Bullhead, rescues Roman, and then they decide to lie low at her parents' for lack of anywhere else to go. Cue a nod to Blake and Sun visiting Menagerie, with Roman shocked when she points out that the big mansion is her house. Her parents are furious, but let them in. Her parents drug them with tea, intending to trade Roman and the hard drive to Lil' Miss to get out from under Xiong. They've both been hoping to take over Xiong's empire, but Roman faked being drugged and takes them both out. He finds Neo, and they devise a plan to get everyone off their backs and get rid of the hard drive. Roman sends the data to Lisa Lavender, while Neo plays decoy and discovers her father in her old room. She realizes he was stealing Dust from Xiong, and hiding the cache UNDER her room. This was the reason he was so angry about the fire. She's furious to realize he basically had her locked in a prison over a bomb, and locks him in her old room.

She disguises herself and Roman as her parents, then tricks Lil' Miss into firing on her old room. The Dust explodes, killing everyone still inside the mansion — her father, and likely her mother, Lady Beat, and Hei Xiong. Roman asks if she's okay, but Neo is kind of...shrugs and not sure how she feels. They ride off into the sunset together.

So basically, Roman and Neo are best buddies. Roman was QUITE LITERALLY Neo’s first and only friend, after a lifetime of isolation and bullying. Also the first person to not give a shit about her being mute, or about her “weird eyes”. He just accepted her without question, and encouraged her to never settle for less than  she could take. 

Junior is a pathetic crime boss because he’s the idiot son of the ACTUAL crime boss, who Neo ended up killing. He seems to have submitted to Lil’ Miss Malachite after his father died.

Neo is a Black Widow highly-trained spy and assassin, as well as a Savant that learns rapidly through observation and a shit-ton of tutorial videos. She loved Fairy Tales growing up, with her favorite being “The Girl in the Tower”. (lol)

[mygoo]

Man you really should have thought this through. You had spent your life as a closeted gainer. Frustratingly unable to ever put on weight that would stick.

Like many in your position you found some solace in works of fiction online describing guys blowing up and packing on doughy lard. Sometimes the stories were gradual and realistic, but others would feature something that would produce rapid, massive gains, those were always your favorite.

So one day when a message came across your inbox on your favorite gainer site that seemed to promise these types of results, your interest was piqued. The message was big and flashy, noting in several places to guarantee immediate, permanent gains of your choice. It's hard to take any message like this seriously, but when you saw the price it seemed reasonable. You decided to indulge, even though it'll surely turn out to be just a bit of harmless fun.

The site linked to the message offered brightly colored vials of its special gain formula in three options, chubby, huge, and blob. You of course chose the latter. In your fantasies you often dreamt of possessing a body near the four digits, a far cry from your current 151. A mountain made to consume and produce lard.

When the box arrived on your doorstep a few days later, you excitedly brought it in and ripped it open. Putting aside your doubts to further the fantasy you examined the vial inside while plopping down onto your bed. It's purpleish hue was enticing, but when you popped the rubber cork off the top you were dismayed to realize it smelled just like grape koolaid.

Hah, well what were you expecting? This must be the most expensive grape koolaid I've ever bought. "Well, might as well not let it go to waste" you say to yourself as you gulp it down.

You shuffle back to the head of your bed as you sulk about this latest letdown. This feeling however doesn't last long as you start to feel a bubbling deep in your stomach. You lift your shirt up and find your belly starting to pout out. The feeling quickly spreads to the rest of your body as the same transformation beings to take place elsewhere.

You're stunned. True to its word, the formula was increasing your weight rapidly. Within seconds your clothes were toast. Your eyes dart around your body, first back to your belly surging forward and taking up more and more of your lap, from your arms billowing out with saggy flesh, to your moobs, my god you had moobs, spreading out atop, all nestled on an ever widening base. A minute in you have to be closing in on 500lbs with no signs of slowing down, you continue to sit and admire your impossible gain. Just shy of another minute later you feel the changes tapering down.

"Woah" you gasp loudly, partially due to the situation you just went though, but also partly due to the fact that your breathing, well, it's just like that now, your lungs buried under piles and piles of new flesh.

You gaze out over your expanse, your monstrous belly dominating it. You feel it resting on the tops of your pudgy feet. A tiny story detail you had always relished in, but this, this was real. You guessed your weight to be close to, if not more than your goal weight. A gain of around 800lbs in the course of two minutes, you'll say it again "woah." A blob to be sure.

You go to lift your arm to touch your belly and find that you have to exert a lot more force just to move its heft. You push and lift it up partially, your saggy arm flesh never losing contact with your moobs and side rolls. You slam it back down after simply letting go and letting its flab rocket it back down. The motion causing ripples and waves across your expansive flesh that to your delight take a long time to dissipate. You smile as you realize you have finally gotten everything you could have wanted and more. The end...

See, here's the thing to know if you somehow find yourself in a real-life gainer story such as myself that you don't know going in. While your favorite stories find a way to wrap up on a high note like that, you'll find that reality is a much crueler bitch.

Coming down from your bliss you ponder on what to do next. You really want to take your whole body in, so a trip to your spare room with the full length mirrors is in line. You instinctively go to move your body as you normally would 10 minutes and 800lbs ago, but in what really shouldn't be a surprise, you don't move at all.

The new weight really finally lands on your shoulders to crush you in more ways than one. Oh fuck, of course I'm immobile. You don't get to this size without it. Concern sets in as you try to think of what to do next. You scan your room to find your phone so you can call for help.

You heart sinks as you see it sitting on your desk. Mere feet away it's no problem in any other situation. "Fuck" you say to yourself out loud this time, but getting your phone is your only option.

With reignited fervor you resolve to find a way to propel your body there. You start rocking back and forth as best you can, hoping you can scooch yourself to the edge of the bed. From there, well, we'll think of what to do next if and when we get there.

The rocking of course turns you on despite your duress. Deep inside your new fat pad, you become aware of your dick rock hard and leaking. At least it's still in the fantasy, but in reality it's yet another problem you are powerless to resolve, albeit much less of a priority.

Several minutes and buckets of sweat later your plan has worked and you find yourself sitting on the edge of your bed with your pudgy feet assumedly touching the floor. Your mass covered in a sweaty sheen is really a sight to see. "Goddammit, huff... I would love... to be able... to enjoy this... right now," you curse to yourself.

So what to do next. Can you walk? It seems risky. Your desk is really only a step away (for a normal man), you think you can reach your phone if you extend your arm out as far as you can. You start to reach, exhausted by the work it took to get you here and by the effort required to keep your ham hock in the air, let-alone stretching out to reach. You're miles away from grasping your phone. You lean your whole body forward since your belly is not giving you a lot of leeway in the bending department.

You stretch and wiggle your pudgy digits in a feigned effort to reach just a little further. The thought of your sausage roll fingers not being able to grasp or operate it if you reach it flashes across your mind, causing your dick to tingle.

You're mere inches away from your phone now, your lifeline to call for help. Which who knows, may come in the form of a food delivery man instead of emergency services, you think as your spirits are lifted again due to your progress.

This, however, is short lived as you reach a literal tipping point where your belly avalanches downward, pulling you helplessly with it. You slam to the floor with a loud thud, with additional sounds of the wooden beams of your floor splintering due to your ponderous mass.

Fuck, you really should have thought this through.

[chaotic-archaeologist]

This might be a weird ask but I've been following your blog the longest on archaeology tumblr (archaeoblr?) and I need someone to ask so. I'm a trans man who is currently going to school for archaeology and I'm working on coming out more and by the time I graduate I want to be out to the school and all that and enter the field as an open trans person but I'm worried about transphobia and I was wondering what your experiences have been w/ that? Or like. Idk things you've noticed wrt that? Thanks!

I’ll begin by clarifying, in case you didn’t already know, that I’m also a trans man.

I think that archaeology is actually a pretty accepting field, given the emphasis in anthropology disciplines of trying not judging others. Archaeologists I know are pretty chill hen it comes to most things ranging from tattoos and dyed hair gender identity and sexuality. 

I’m casually out, and in addition to me my department also has a lesbian and someone who uses they/them pronouns. Every single person that I’ve met in our department has made an active effort in trying to make sure that everyone feels safe and respected. (I can’t vouch for this being the same everywhere, but my experience has. been very positive).

If you start the coming out process in your environment and find that they aren’t supportive, I would encourage you to look elsewhere. There are absolutely places that will support and affirm you, so don’t feel like you have to “make it work” wherever you are now if you feel unhappy or unsafe.

I know you may have heard this before, but I feel like I need to give some health warnings as part of my answer.

Binding, if you choose to do so, will limit your lung capacity in a very meaningful way. You will need to pay attention to this if you’re doing fieldwork so that you don’t over exert yourself and wind up in serious trouble. Additionally, wearing an extra layer will make you more vulnerable to becoming over heated and you need to take that risk seriously.

If top surgery is ever something that you consider, you will need to plan around field season either by not working or having the operation during the off season. It’s a big surgery and you need to give yourself time to recover, for both your health and optimal results. 

Finally, I’ll end by tagging some other archaeologists so that they can respond and hopefully give a larger sample size of what it’s like for LGBTQ+ people. I’m not going to speak for the gender identities/sexual preferences of anyone because I don’t want to assume, I’m just hoping that they can talk about the attitudes in their workplaces.

@midden-maiden @archaeo-geek @art-thropologist @bi-archaeologist @trowelsanddirt @archaicbookworm @anthroaddict @saintartemis @the-frozone-layer @shortgal2014

Feel free to pop into my private messages if you feel like you want to talk further,

-Reid

[regrettablewritings]

I, u, y for bodhi rook please!

As the words process in my mind, a tear rolls upon my cheek . . .

Could it be? I dare wonder. An lo: It is.

He has returned, after so far away in time . . .

I = Impression (What was their first impression?):

Well, he certainly wasn’t what you had expected, that was for sure. Defecting from the Empire was no easy feat, even for somebody as unassuming as a delivery pilot. To the enemy, every literal body counted — even if only to assure complete dominance over the individual. So when you had learned that one of their own had not only detected, but potentially played key in helping to locate Galen Erso?

You couldn’t help it: Your imagination went wild. You imagined someone big and strong, teeth gritting from years of pent up anger towards the unjust causes of the tyranny spreading across the galaxy.

What you got was a scrawny, sheepish, possibly traumatized (thanks, Saw, you absolute nerf-herder) slip of a man who seemed to be afraid of taking up any space he happened to exist in. It was...disappointing to say the least. But you had to commend him regardless for defecting and even surviving Saw, and there was no gain in looking down on him.  

And then came the Scarif mission.

Nobody had expected him to go -- well, nobody was excpected to go, given that the Alliance Council turned down Erso’s idea, but least of all you expected him to be willing to go and do it. You expected the blind guy to go sailing off to a certified death mission before you did this guy! And honestly, that had you worried for him. Unfulfilled expectations or not, he wasn’t someone who had incurred your ire or even your indifference; you may not have gotten the chance to actually know him beyond a few words exchanged during the very brief time he’d been on base (“Welcome to the right side.” “Uh, y-yes . . . Thank you . . .”), but he certainly didn’t strike you as someone who needed to go on this type of outing. Enough people died unnecessarily in this damned war . . .

To learn, eventually, that he wasn’t one of them was therefore all the more shocking to you.

While the mission to steal the Death Star blueprints had been successful, it clearly didn’t come easy. Everyone who had survived had been wounded to some degree, with Captain Andor appearing to receive the worst of it as he was carted off to the infirmary. Bodhi, to your relief, wasn’t especially harmed. Roughed up, certainly, and clearly shaken from the experience, but that didn’t change what you now knew for certain: Bodhi Rook, this timid bean pole of a defector, was one of the bravest men you had the pleasure of knowing existed.

Even though he apparently was intimidated by you when you two first met. Granted, everyone intimidated him: He had just went AWOL with the government he’d been employed by, he was “taken in” by people whom he’d been taught by propaganda to fear and be distrustful in, he was still trying to regain his frazzled sanity after being interrogated by that . . . that thing, and he’d just witnessed his home get bombed. Needless to say, the anxious-by-nature man was simply not in an especially welcoming mood.

Still, he tried to be civilized (maybe because he feared getting beat up if he didn’t). He wasn’t sure what to say in response to your, er, “greeting” when you hustled up war-battered clothes besides an awkward thank you. He really wasn’t sure what to make of you that would separate you from his overall feelings towards nearly everyone in this whole operation: You were strong, you had been through enough and were surely hardened by it, and you could probably snap his spine over your knew if you particularly cared to.

Of course, he’d spent next to no time with you when he thought these things of everyone involved in the Rebellion. He had no time to: He had to fly around the Maker’s galaxy and back! It actually wasn’t until after the Scarif mission that he was given ample time to readily wipe his impressions and assumptions clean. He felt he needed to, given what dedication he’d seen on those beaches.

Besides, you approaching him afterward certainly helped. You picked up that he wasn’t fond of crowds during evening mess when he quietly slinked away from the group gathering to hear retellings of the infiltration on Scarif. You figured perhaps a one-on-one situation might’ve sufficed. Better yet, inquiring about his current state might’ve been preferable to reliving the experience.

He appreciated the gesture on your part. Maybe . . . you weren’t nearly as ice-cold as he’d thought you were. At the very least, definitely not as bad as Cassian.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?):

Bodhi is a naturally anxious person, and the hardships and experiences he’s encountered haven’t exactly made that any better. Sure, he’s a lot braver now and more willing to act, but he’s still nowhere near as gung-ho or fiery as his companions.

He’s had some methods in the past that clearly didn’t work out in his favor (fun fact: he’s got a record for gambling), but one of the best tried and trues is simply going somewhere quiet. His thoughts are in a constant buzz, he benefits from a lack of outside stimuli when he feels overwhelmed. The problem is . . . quiet is so very hard to find when you’re in the middle of a war. As an Imperial cargo pilot, you could just plain forget about the idea of having time to yourself: You belong to the Empire, your time is the Empire’s time and you are in no position to use it up.

Being a part of the Rebellion is better by legions, but the base on Yavin IV leaves much to be desired in terms of privacy and quiet. Luckily, the planet is lush and forested: If Bodhi is on base and feels the need to sit in the quiet and gather his thoughts and calm down, he need only walk in any given direction, find a tree to sit under, and just stay there for a while. The places he chooses are far enough to where he can relax and not have his thoughts and heartbeat disturbed by the banging of machinery or the hollers of drill sergeants, but never so far as to be unable to get help should he need it.

It wasn’t long before he began to incorporate you into these relaxation methods, however. As it turns out, as much as he may enjoy being able to sit by himself in the brush, he very much likes being able to sit with you anywhere. You’re almost like a walking calming center for him, especially when you touch him: Hold his hand, rub his back, let him lay his head on your lap so you can play with his hair . . . It’s like a missing link he never knew he’d been missing to begin with! They’re seemingly small things, but they make a big difference. You can always feel him losing his tension beneath your touch, often announced by quiet sighs or tiny shudders. It’s truly the cutest thing and you’re so glad to be the cause of it and help him calm down. Just not nearly as glad as he is to have you there to calm him.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?):

The thought of marriage has switched on and off throughout Bodhi’s life; really, it depends on the exact moment. As a child, he certainly thought about it more, if only because children are want to do such things. But as an adult, it begins to falter. By the time the events of the story show up, he can go long stretches without even once thinking about his stance on whether or not he should get married. Because really, it’s more based on the exact moment: If he’s in a surprisingly good way or even in a moment where he must think about how short life can be, the certainly he gives it some thought.

But in his usual misery and anxiety while serving the Empire, such silly concerns are the furthest thing from his mind; they’re so far on the back burner that they may as well have fallen behind the stove, forgotten, dusty, and moldy!

Even when he meets you, the thought surprisingly doesn’t come up for a while. It’s not that you don’t make him happy or inspire any intention of long-term romance -- far from it, actually! You make him feel the happiest and most comfortable than he’s felt in literal years! In fact, that’s honestly probably why the subject of marriage doesn’t pop up to him so immediately: His life as of late has become a bit of a balancing act, what with him now being a part of a rebellion he hadn’t planned on joining and, consequentially, trying not to get him or his new comrades killed. Normally, this sort of thing would’ve sent him into a panic-induced coma. But with you present in his life, giving him a sense of calm and someone to fight hard enough to come back to, you actually make him start to enjoy the present. (Well, the calmer ones, at least.)

He’s not as caught up about the past or afraid of the future as he used to be; he’s actually enjoying the moment with you as is. Sure, every now and again, if he does (or doesn’t) mean to think about it, his mind does slip and he finds himself thinking, “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind being with them after all this . . .” He even dares to dream about the two of you sharing a life together on a nice, simple planet with lots of trees and greenery. Maybe somewhere quiet. A farm might be nice: He can so some gardening there and you two can build a house together, all big and roomy like you’d always wanted instead of cramped and stuffy like the living quarters you always complained about . . .

But then his attention would be dragged elsewhere (to a meeting, to training, to you calling him to join you for dinner). He doesn’t mind. He’s not brushing aside the possibilities of proposing to you and marrying you, but the dreams can wait: All in all, you’re here right now and he’s perfectly content being there with you. For now.

Thank you for asking and for being patient!

[bcbdrums]

What Is True

FFn link --> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13666708/1/What-Is-True

For @drakgoprompts no. 5, “Emotion Sickness Aftermath.”

Also inspired by @cocoa-at-night‘s answer to the prompt with her lovely art for the prompt!  Please look at it first!!!

-----------------------

Shego rolled over in bed again, tossing her hair carelessly. She didn't know how many times she had rolled over, but it was enough to now be annoying her as much as the inability to sleep.

She had barely slept for three days, since the incident with the mood-altering device that had inadvertently fallen on her during the most recent caper. Her wild memories of the events that had occurred kept playing in her mind on an endless sequential repeat, the way Holiday Tale did on Christmas Day each year on that one cable channel. She couldn't stop thinking about how she had been fully invested in her actions, every step of the way...

It frightened her. She had been unable to stop crying over a broken nail. And then she was mad at Drakken for not caring. Until she wasn't. Until she wanted nothing more than for him to put his arms around her. And then she cried because he wasn't spending all of his attention on her. And then the sadness turned to rage.

The scariest thing was...she could still access the emotions if she tried. She could feel the sadness, the anger, and...the...

What did she call the feeling she'd spent most of the day having toward Drakken? It wasn't lust. It wasn't a crush. It was something else... Something...deeper, that combined elements of the two.

It wasn't love. It couldn't be love... What was love anyway? She'd never been in love. It couldn't be love...

She rolled over again, and then finally sat up, tossing her hair back in frustration. She reached behind her neck and touched the aching, stinging spot where the little device had been.

Drakken had moved on. He set the henchmen to cleaning the lab that had been ruined by melted snow, and was off elsewhere in the lair working on something smaller until the lab was back to operational conditions. When Shego came out of her room to eat or to see if there was anything new planned, he acted almost as if nothing had happened. He was content to chalk the situation up to the technology and let it go.

But Shego couldn't.

She got out of bed and after dressing, stormed through the halls in search of Drakken. She wasn't entirely sure why she felt compelled to talk to him, but she did know that she wouldn't be able to sleep that night unless something changed.

She found him in the den, sitting behind his desk while a fire roared in the fireplace. He was flipping through a brochure for the upcoming villain convention and circling something on the current page.

"Drakken!"

He dropped his pen and looked up, startled. For once he didn't call out or look annoyed. But Shego was too tired and too riled up from her own stress to notice.

"Why didn't you take advantage of me!"

Drakken's eyes widened and he sank back in his chair, as if trying to disappear. Shego's hand flew to her mouth. She hadn't planned to say those words... They just came out. She stared at Drakken, who stared back, equally at a loss.

"Wh-what?" Drakken asked in a meek voice.

Shego's heart was pounding. But she couldn't take it back...

"Y-you heard me," she said shakily, and then, with more assurance, "Answer the question."

Drakken's shock turned into affront. "That...that would have been wrong, Shego!"

Shego's jaw slowly dropped as he began to ramble about the morals his mother taught him, his uncertainty over her out of character behavior, and how really, he just wanted to enact his plan. The EMA was the perfect beginning to his eventual global domination...

Shego shook her head and stepped closer as he went on, gesticulating wildly as he bemoaned the recent failure due to Kim Possible's unexpected appearance.

"So, so let me get this straight," she interrupted, setting her hands on his desk and leaning forward. "Your plan was more interesting than a beautiful woman throwing herself at you? What are you...are you gay, or impotent, or something?"

Drakken's face then looked like she'd never seen. His brow furrowed, his eyes narrowed, his lips pursed, and his cheeks blushing nearly purple as he seemed unable to decide which emotion to respond with. But she held her ground, glaring at him as she waited for an answer.

And then it suddenly hit her... What answer, exactly, was she hoping for?

"No!" Drakken burst out, deciding apparently on anger. "I was concentrating on trying to cause mass chaos and destruction that would lead to my ruling the world! You— You...wait," he slowed down, his expression suddenly growing nervous. "Did you...want me to...make a move?"

Shego stood up suddenly as her face flushed crimson.

"No!" she spat back before any other thought dared enter her head. "If you had you wouldn't be alive to have this conversation."

Drakken's eyes flashed in fear as he leaned back further, pushing the chair slightly away from the desk. And then his expression fell back to confusion as he peered at her. Confusion, and caution. He moved his hands to his lap and twiddled his thumbs.

Shego sighed. "I'm just...surprised, I guess. Most men would have taken advantage of the situation."

Drakken's expression hardened slightly. "I'm a gentleman, Shego."

Shego looked at him for anything but honesty, but...that's all there was in his eyes. And she was no closer to understanding her own feelings about everything.

As a silence grew between them, Drakken looked more and more like he wanted to say something. Sudden fear over what it might be propelled her speak again.

"Thanks. For...being a gentleman. Guess I'll stick around," she said with a small laugh, hoping that would be enough explanation for her interrupting his evening.

But it still gave her no further answers about why she'd enjoyed kissing him in that photo booth...and why the memory was still positive. Shouldn't it disgust her?

She touched the sore spot on her neck as her gaze drifted to the fire as she worried about why she couldn't get that day out of her mind. And why she kept finding herself wondering why he didn't kiss her back... Why he just seemed to tolerate her romantic advances...

"Is your neck still hurting where that...thing was on you?" Drakken asked.

Shego blinked back into focus and realized she was still touching her neck.

"Oh. Yeah."

Drakken looked like he wanted to say something again. Shego's fingers brushed a spot on her neck that stung, and she winced.

"Uhm. Could you...look at it? I can't see it really well with the mirror."

Drakken's brow rose. He left the chair and approached her silently, cautiously lifting a hand. She spun around and pushed her hair over right shoulder, suddenly feeling a bit unsteady on her feet. Or was her stomach turning over? Or both...

"Ah..." Drakken said. She felt his fingers at the edge of her collar.

"What?"

"Could you...move your collar down somehow? The device was partially beneath it."

Shego felt her stomach turn over again as she unzipped the front of her suit. She suddenly, inexplicably felt like her legs wouldn't hold her up.

"Hold on, uh...can we sit down?" she said while moving to do so, dropping on her knees in front of the fireplace.

"Ah..." Drakken said, following her down. He sat behind her, and Shego stiffened slightly as she felt his hand gently touch her left arm, just above her elbow. She felt her collar pulled down very slightly with his other hand, the garment moving freely now that her suit was undone.

Drakken didn't make a sound as he apparently looked at the injured spot on her neck. The silence made Shego even more uneasy.

"Is it bad?" she asked.

"It...yes," Drakken said plainly. Shego's brow shot up, and she listened as he described the wound. "You remember the device was round and had those little...clamps, to anchor into the victim?"

"Yes..." Shego said, wondering at his choice of the last word.

"There is bleeding beneath the skin where each clamp was... And you have a bad electrical burn in the center, and more subcutaneous bleeding."

His gloved fingers ghosted over the pained spot, and then vanished.

Shego sighed as her thoughts zeroed in on one thing for once that night. He hadn't exactly called her a victim. But it's what she had been... A technology they didn't understand driving her...and leaving her mind so mixed up now it was gone, she didn't know what was true anymore.

Except...for one thing. There was one thing she could still be sure of.

"Dr. D.?" she said, her gaze dropping to her lap without focus. She tugged on the ends of her hair lightly.

"Yes...Shego?"

"Thanks...for being a gentleman."

"Shego... I would never dream of...of..."

He sounded anxious as his words trailed off. She thought back to well over a year before, when he had put her under mind control for an experiment and made a mockery of her throughout the experience. But of all the things he had done then...what stood out must was what he hadn't done.

Her heart was racing. No matter what that strange mood-altering device had done to her...and know matter how mixed up she was... She knew she could always be sure of him.

His hand was still inexplicably resting on her left arm. Why had he put it there? She crossed her arms and set the fingers of her right hand lightly over his.

"Dr. D. I know."

[irnbraw]

On the Need to Preserve Freely Spoken Words in Scotland

Scotland is slowly boiling to death - like the proverbial frog in the pan of simmering water.  Our civic life is already damaged to such an extent that Scotland seems more like Northern Ireland than the rest of the UK now.  To which we can now also see the methodical disassembling of facts, history, free-speech and freedoms of person, belief and action.

The SNP is fundamentally illiberal.  (See all the preceding pages of this blog).  It, like all cultish entities, has a Dogma to which ALL must be sacrificed.  Truth, facts, friends, even family.  Nothing is more sacred than Dogma so public ethics, accountability, transparency, honesty - any and all can be safely and comfortably dispensed with if Dogma is furthered and the transcending goal of Dogma is advanced.

Into this vortex of lies have wandered a number of persons who are not a perfect fit.  They are those who have failed to have their own moral compass overwritten.  Certain people who, when they encounter corruptions or abuses of power at the highest levels do not look the other way - or mutter to themselves something about ‘the end justifying the means’.

This is alas rare - but therefore significant.  One such instance is when avowed separatist, ‘progressive’, a scion of the Scottish nationalist cause - someone at the core of that maelstrom: Robin McAlpine - saw and experienced at first hand the kind of corrosive corruption that the SNP is now disintegrating Scotland with, he spoke up.

McAlpine was Director of “Common Weal” a social issues ‘think tank’, dedicated to the progressives’ view of a separate Scotland.  But he is that no longer.  For when he stopped in his tracks and lamented the detrimental impact of secretive, conspiratorial nationalist power (by penning a 3,000 word article)* he was invited to step down.

Given the direction in which Scotland currently drifts, aided by Covid and an overly sentimentalist and un-critical population, I believe the essay that caused the former Director’s downfall may not long survive.  Therefore, I have copied and pasted it here.

Not much is now, in reality, safe in the hands of Big Tech.  The clarion warnings of Rand, Huxley, Orwell and Bradbury have already been rendered moot by our illiberal and autocratic governments combined with the mob mentality of ‘wokeism’.  So even reprinting here is no guarantee of anything.  But we must all make an effort, and this small bit is my contribution to preserving words freely spoken in Scotland - while that is still a thing.

 - Here is the Article - 

(link to the original blog-post is above)*

THIS TIME almost exactly two years ago I sat in a cafe close to Holyrood in a state of what I can only call shock. The enormity of what I’d just heard was sinking in; over the preceding nearly three hours I’d been introduced to all the gory detail of the plot against Alex Salmond. The last two years has at times been surreal for me as a result.

To explain what I am going to write next I need to tell you something about my fundamental beliefs. I have worked close to the power of government my whole life. I have studied and read widely on power. I am also a strong believer in social change.

Everything I have seen has driven me to the same conclusion; nothing is more important than integrity in public life. That may seem anachronistic to some (given modern political culture) and not particularly left-wing. But the positive change I want cannot be built on anything but the firmest of foundations; when corruption or misuse of power creeps into those foundations, nothing good can be built on them.

Some on the right of politics are anti-state and for them a discredited public realm has its uses. For the left, nothing good ever, ever comes from it.

There is no doubt in my mind that there was and is a coordinated plan of action created by a powerful group of people, developed and executed in secret but using public resources, all with the sole purpose of forcing a perceived opponent out of public life in Scotland.

I then have no doubt that when this plan was at risk of collapsing and exposing those who perpetrated it, they instigated a wide-ranging cover up. My suspicion is that it was not initially the intention to seek to jail Salmond, and that this was a result of an escalation to distract attention as part of the cover-up operation. Yet that is the direction in which this plan proceeded, nonetheless.

There is no greater abuse of power than to use it arbitrarily to remove someone’s liberty. This is absolutely not the ‘rough and tumble’ of politics. It has no place in Scotland. None.

At this stage I need to make some more things clear. This is no longer anything to do with Alex Salmond, his reputation, his career or his future. He was investigated thoroughly, tried in a court of law and acquitted of all charges. It is worth adding that he was not acquitted because his actions were ‘dodgy’ yet failed to meet the threshold of criminality but because the jury believed his defence that none of them happened.

It is not about contentious political issues such as independence or the Gender Reform Act. It is not about crucial social and cultural debates such as the Me Too movement. I am open that I believe Nicola Sturgeon has run a poor administration and has repeatedly misled the independence movement in a way that has harmed our chances of independence. But it’s not about that either.

Nor am I any kind of Alex Salmond fan-boy. This is not about a personal squabble or some ‘psychodrama’. It certainly isn’t some spurious debate about ‘civic’ versus ‘populist’ nationalism. The sheer volume of dust being thrown up to obscure what this is really about is in itself telling.

So you must clear your mind of all of these issues and focus on the sole and single issue this is about; are there people in a position of power in Scotland who misused that power in a manner which makes them unfit to hold office or employment? (If this gives you difficulty, perhaps remove the names and think in terms of ‘Politician A’ and ‘Civil Servant B’.)

In what follows I will try, carefully and without emotive language, to take you through how I reached my conclusions. I will seek very hard to only state as fact things that are public record, and to make absolutely clear where I am introducing my own opinion and analysis.

(There are far, far too many references to include throughout as this relates to thousands of disclosed government papers available here. Gordon Dangerfield has gone through many of those forensically on his blog here. I know there are strong views about Wings Over Scotland but that is the best place to find a number of documents which are redacted elsewhere. I have never at any point had access to nor specific knowledge of material not in the public domain but have broad awareness of what it is believed to indicate.)

But yes, I am of the decided view that people in a position of power in Scotland misused that power in a manner which is not acceptable. I believe that it started when a complaints procedure was created and designed to target a specific individual and pushed through over strong objections from the UK civil service.

In a position of power, you should never create laws or procedures for a purpose related to the pursuit of an individual; it represents a gross misuse of those powers.

I am of the decided view that the same people merged this process with the ‘grooming’ of complainants against the same individual, and on this a ruling of the Court of Session strongly suggests I am correct.

There are then too many details concerning the fundamentally improper manner in which this complaints process was subsequently pursued to cover here, but it is all documented and will reach the public domain eventually. This too was a gross abuse of power.

It seems that at this point, those behind these actions became aware of their risk of exposure as a result of legal arguments they had become aware of, and I believe this is when the cover-up began.

The first crucial element of this cover-up was for the most senior of government politicians to arrange a meeting to discuss sensitive government business at her house, seemingly deliberately doing so with the express intent of excluding civil servants from documenting this meeting and then subsequently, when caught, to knowingly and repeatedly to mislead parliament about that meeting. I believe this is confirmed by existing information in the public domain.

I then believe that, aware their position was coming into substantial jeopardy, the participants in this operation sought to move the focus away from their actions by escalating the matter to a criminal one by reporting information to the police, information they had access to for at least six months previously but did not act on (done against the wishes of the complainants).

... seeking to jail someone for political expediency is something I did not believe I would see in Scotland in my lifetime.  Pause must be taken here to take in the enormity of this ... 

At this point we have moved into the territory of the kind of behaviour we seldom see in western Europe. Certainly, seeking to jail someone for political expediency is something I did not believe I would see in Scotland in my lifetime. Pause must be taken here to take in the enormity of this.

As part of that process, I believe that a leak of information which is probably criminal in nature was carried out from within the office of the politician and on this the investigation of the Information Commissioner’s Office strongly suggests I am correct. I do not believe that it is feasible this happened without the authorisation of the politician (though I am aware of no hard evidence for this).

The affair now moves into two strands. The first involves continued efforts to cover up what has happened through the repeated failure to produce documents, even in the face of a Court Warrant, and in this a judge at the Court of Session concurs (on fact, not motive). This appears to be, on the face of it, contempt of court.

This also involves what I believe appears to be pressure exerted on Government lawyers to misrepresent facts in court up to the point where they threatened to resign (this latter point is public record).

The Scottish Government continued this behaviour in the face of at least one (and probably more) legal opinion that it would be ruled against but only admitted fault when more damaging material appeared to be about to be exposed. The ruling on the part of the Judge in this case was damning and the award made was extraordinarily harsh on the Scottish Government.

From there the cover-up, I believe, is fairly apparent, ranging from refusing to reveal legal advice to doing everything possible to avoid document disclosure to creating the remit of inquiries deliberately designed to prevent proper investigation of what has happened to repeatedly evasive and factually incorrect evidence given to a Parliamentary Committee.

The second strand involved the criminal case, and while there was some crossover of participants this was pursued largely by the apparatus of the political party of which the politician is a member. Much less of this evidence is currently publicly available, so I will restrict myself to saying that staff of that party appeared to have sought to maximise the number of complaints and put pressure on the police.

These two strands recombine during the resultant criminal trial, where there may be a case to be made that the repeated refusal to produce relevant documents represents an attempt to pervert the course of justice and contribute to the imprisonment of a man by withholding evidence relevant to his defence.

Perhaps the pinnacle of this for me is the testimony of Woman H, by far the most serious of the charges presented (attempted rape). Here the prosecution led no properly admissible evidence that she was even in the building where the alleged attempted rape took place. The defence led multiple pieces of evidence including reliable eye-witness testimony that she was never there.

The circumstances around this testimony are deeply concerning and it seems to be clear perjury. I can’t comment any more, but for me it sums up this whole sorry affair.

I haven’t even mentioned what I find to be the difficult-to-understand decision by the Crown Office and Prosecutor Fiscal Service to bring this case to court, nor its (for me) subsequent chilling pursuit of supporters of the man tried. I also have some concerns about what I know of the actions of the police. The role of some publicly-funded agencies and the publicly-funded BBC in the aftermath only contribute to my unease.

There is so much more, so much that will come out and this will be worse still than what you’ve seen so far.

There is so much more, so much that will come out and this will be worse still than what you’ve seen so far. The damage I believe this is likely to do to confidence in the conduct of public life in Scotland is substantial.

That the politician is Nicola Sturgeon, the man Alex Salmond, the civil servants a group surrounding Leslie Evans and the party officials a group surrounding Peter Murrell (husband of Sturgeon) should play no part in affecting the details I have set out above.

I have never in my life called for someone to resign. If they should be fired, they should be fired; but resignation should be a matter of honour, so calling for it seems futile to me. But I can see no circumstances in which it should be acceptable for Nicola Sturgeon to remain in office. Any one of half a dozen the above acts perpetrated by a member of Boris Johnson’s cabinet would have the SNP demanding their head.

From there it seems to me to be a question only of how many of the civil servants and paid officials of the SNP should be sacked for misconduct. Some of the civil servants seem to me clearly to need to face contempt of court proceedings and there are a number of people involved who seem to me at least terribly close to ‘conspiracy to pervert the course of justice’ territory.

I want only to finish with a few thoughts on the ramifications of all of this, firstly for public life in Scotland.

I have made no secret of my growing concern about the state of democracy in Scotland nor the way public officials perform their duties. There seems to me now to be a messianic cult of impunity among far too many senior officials. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that this has rattled my confidence in the health of Scotland as a nation right now.

There must be reform of governance in Scotland and a root and branch review of the civil service and its agencies. I struggle to understand how the Lord Advocate is still in post (what exactly is the ‘correct’ number of malicious prosecutions he can admit to in any given year?) and his existence as an active member of Cabinet is clearly contrary to EU law (enshrined in domestic law) that the Executive (government) and judiciary (legal system) are independent of each other.

If this rattles the confidence of the public in Scotland then I can hardly blame them, and I can’t see what the option is other than (finally) honesty, full disclosure and reform.

Talk of continuity in government during the Covid crisis is neither here nor there. If continuity means failure to ensure integrity, we have a bigger problem. Surely someone else can do a press conference every morning and no-one is asking health officials to resign. The vast majority of the SNP’s politicians are good and honest people who had nothing whatsoever to do with this; there will be no problem forming a strong working government.

Finally, the cause of independence. I have said over and over to the small group of people whom I’ve spoken to about this that harm was inevitable from the moment the ‘original sin’ of this affair took place.

In the last week there has been much chatter from people who support independence of the sort ‘but she’s so popular, can’t we turn a blind eye to this, at least for a while?’. I of course have sympathy for the many grassroots activists I so admire and who have been let down by this, but I have two responses.

The first is simple; directly before the Watergate scandal Richard Nixon had approval ratings of 68 per cent, substantially better than Nicola Sturgeon’s – and this whole affair has remarkable parallels with Watergate.

This will out eventually. I wish dearly that Nicola Sturgeon had found a dignified excuse to fall on her sword long before now and it might actually have been possible to avoid this (for now, if not for the history books). But she didn’t. Every part of this traces back to her, her team, her husband and her close confidants. If you’re angry about this (you should be) that’s where to direct it.

We sure as hell can’t afford this to dominate the 2021 Holyrood election and there is a very real risk it will.

But to return right back to the beginning, while I have sympathy to those wishing we could ‘turn a blind eye’, in the end that is the Ted Cruz/Mitch McConnell position – and how is that working out for them?

It is almost explicitly to say that you are content for a new Scotland to be born from corruption, so long as it is born. But I can’t tell you how much of a mistake that is – there is no redemption for us from such a stance. Our future, our nation must be born from honesty and integrity or you should want no part of it. I certainly don’t.

‘Just this one corrupt conspiracy and no more, we promise’ can’t be acceptable

‘Just this one corrupt conspiracy and no more, we promise’ can’t be acceptable, can’t be how we carry ourselves into the future. Whatever price we pay for this we must pay, and we must then atone and rebuild. We can still win an election if we start right now.

I wish I had an alternative for you. I wish, I so deeply wish, this had never happened. None of it. Even now I wish I didn’t feel I need to write these things. But I do feel I need to, for my own conscience if nothing else. My silence would leave me feeling complicit and I can’t live with that. I would have written the same even for a leader I admired and supported.

And I have already lived for these two years with the knowledge of this wound deep into things I care very much about – Scotland, its future as an independent nation and its ability to be a much better place than one where a fifth of the people live in poverty.

We have been dragged here and whether it is now, during the election or in the months after when we should be moving purposely towards independence, this is all going to pour into the public domain like it or not.

And because it will poison all it touches, those responsible must remove themselves or be removed and rapidly be distanced from the cause of independence and Scotland’s public realm.

[geminiagentgreen]

I need to do a part 3 to the Tabaan war, but since I've already and several times mentioned that they have a presence in our solar system, I should go ahead here and delve into that a bit:

For now, I'm considering that the Sol-Tabaan have/had an outpost on our moon and are held up on Mars. Their forces aren't massive, largely composed of essential staff that, while military trained, are not foot soldiers. As well, they are quite limited on resources - they feed themselves fine, but they aren't capable of amassing armaments the likes of the Vettar Empire's glory. Instead, they rely upon their scientific and technological superiority to make do with assets and resources from earth, being able to closely replicate equipment and keep up maintenance.

Their existence is known to a single handful of human beings across the planet, humans that have absolute dedication to their extraterrestrial masters - perhaps somewhat in part due to technical tampering. --- right now, I have man named "Daniel Albright" who is a part of a semi-government agency known as "OCTAGON" (this is in collaboration with my brother) and is in a high position. I'm also thinking that he is in charge of his own "thing", a private organization whose front is...security? Anyway, he is in a position to influence what happens around OCTAGON while also able to have his secrets (maybe he doesn't need to sleep?? Hmm...). The point of Daniel is largely to bridge my Paragon Avenger series with my Raed series, as well as to be one of the means for the Tabaan to pick up what-should-be completely secret information: magic, parallel dimensions, the supernatural, the Tabaan know of these and are studying as well, thinking that this field of research will actually play a big part in their endgame. ---

So just what is the plan?

Currently, it is to learn as much as they can of our planet and beyond. For now, they have no idea if and where other survivors of the Empire would be short of vague guesses, and to even attempt looking means disabling the security systems they have in place that have largely done the work of keeping their existence a secret to both our planet and the rest of the galaxy - specifically the Alliance. --- Perhaps they could circumnavigate the issue if they were to establish a base/launch pad in an other dimension? Outlandish, but a successful operation could lead to the discovery of other survivors elsewhere back in our galaxy, and if so, this could inspire the Tabaan to embark on an exodus...or try to get the survivors to come here, and the earth goes from being a field lab to a new home planet. This would involve our subjugation, or extinction...

Finally, for this entry, Tabaan leadership: there's Vegkan Tarice (Veh-GHan Tar-Rice), who is head of security and committed to the Vettar Empire, wanting to see it and his people return to their proper glory. He doesn't share the same disregard for humans that his comrades do, he instead holds us in contempt, unimpressed and disgusted by our global lack of unity and "bizarrities". Then there's Aledon Soras (Al-eh-dawn Sore-ass), who is active command for the entire martian outpost. Unlike Vegkan and most of the other Tabaan, Aledon finds a sort of cruel interest in us.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

EU Commission Decides To Mock The Public; Insists Fears About EU Copyright Directive Are All Myths

On Thursday, the European Commission posted -- on its official Medium page -- an astoundingly juvenile and obnoxious post, lashing out at those who have complained that Articles 11 and 13 in the EU Copyright Directive will be destructive. The post was snide and condescending, and suggested that most of the opposition was fake and "astroturfed" and that anyone who really believed that the EU Copyright Directive was a problem was brainwashed by Google and Facebook. It was... quite a post. On Friday evening, I wrote up a (mostly) line-by-line response to its utter nonsense and planned to post it this week once people were back in the office to review it. However, on Saturday, after widespread criticism, the EU Commission "removed" the post without an apology -- but with the standard cop out of someone who did something bad but can't admit it:

We have removed this article as it has been understood in a way that doesn’t reflect the Commission’s position.

"... it has been understood..." Not "we wrote an insulting, misleading and condescending article that we shouldn't have posted." Not, "we're sorry that we lashed out at the public we're supposed to represent." No, it's all your fault in that you "misunderstood" our obnoxious, snide remarks to be both obnoxious and snide.

Given that so many people missed it and that I already had this post written with much of the original quoted -- what follows is my original post.

This is quite incredible. Earlier this year, we wrote about the Legislative Affairs Committee of the EU Parliament putting out a "Q and A" page about the EU Copyright Directive that was so full of wrong that it was insulting. However, now it appears that the EU Commission has decided to one up its colleagues in the Parliament by posting an article to Medium of all places (one of the many sites that will be massively harmed by the Directive) insisting that you're all fools for thinking that anything bad might happen, and that it's all the fault of Google/Facebook. Thankfully, for at least the time being, I am free to quote large parts of their article and respond to it without having to "buy a license" from the Commission, so let's take advantage of that remaining bit of freedom.

Take this test: Type in ‘EU Copyright Directive’ into the search box in Youtube. The majority of results in the top 20 will be passionately against it. Here’s some of the headlines, if you’re not sure:

‘Shocking update on the Copyright Directive.’ ‘Today Europe lost the Internet’ ‘How the new copyright laws will destroy the internet’ ‘Censorship machines’, ‘EU to end the internet’ or ‘Europe to ban all memes’

Of course, we know from recent elections and referendums that simple memorable slogans — however untrue or unobtainable — can go a long way to winning over hearts, minds and voters. And so it was, that the wholly inaccurate phrases ‘ link taxes ’ and ‘ censorship machines ’ started to be part of the campaign against the proposed Copyright Directive. Never let the truth get in the way of a catchy slogan.

Note the opening here is dripping with condescension, suggesting that even though basically everyone is not only against this law, but speaking out against it, they're all just silly fools, tricked by a slogan. Note that this does not respond to any of the massive problems many, many experts have raised about the approach in the Copyright Directive -- especially on Articles 11 and 13. It just sneers about what it says are inaccurate phrases (spoiler alert: those phrases are not inaccurate).

The idea behind the Directive is to bring copyright rules into the 21st century. The current rules are very analogue and designed for the world before the web. Things have changed. Search and social media platforms largely define the way we enjoy content today, but their market dominance has now tilted the balance in their favour and away from those who design and create original things.

This is hogwash. The "laws" they are trying to change include things like the EU's E-Commerce Directive that was (oh, look at that) passed in the 21st Century, when the web was already around and thriving. Second, the idea that search and social media platforms have "tilted the balance... away from those who design and create original things" is ludicrous. As we've shown for years, the internet has given a massive boost to content creation -- enabling more creation in nearly every single category. It has made it easier to create, produce, release, distribute, share, build a fan base and to make money than at any time in history. The internet has enabled more people than ever before in history to not just create, but to make money from their creations.

If you want to know who it's tilted the playing field against, it's the legacy gatekeepers: the old record labels, movie studios and publishers, who used to operate in an oligopolistic world, with little competition, where they could demand all of the rights from creators in exchange for a small chance of success -- and if success came, those gatekeepers would still suck up nearly all of the rewards. Can anyone tell me if Return of the Jedi is profitable yet? Has Lyle Lovett's record label paid him a dime yet? Meanwhile, artists who are embracing the internet are finding that it can pay off massively.

The world of Article 11 and 13 is a move towards going back to the old system. To force artists and creators into the arms of a small group of gatekeepers who decide if you can even post your content online at all, let alone try to make money from it. For the EU Commission to repeat a completely made up myth that artists are somehow worse off today is not just revisionist history bullshit, it's insulting.

As it stands, big internet platforms such as Facebook or Google make a lot of money from ads that appear on their sites alongside copyrighted material such as music or clips. The more people view, the more money platforms can earn from those adverts.

Very little of the content appearing on Facebook and Google is infringing. Yes, both sites will send a lot of traffic to content elsewhere, and make money on ads from that service, but that's different. Meanwhile, both Google and Facebook have spent many millions of dollars on automated filters to block out infringing content (or to allow copyright holders to monetize that content). So if the idea is to attack those companies with a new law requiring such filters, how does this law "improve" anything?

Answer: it does not. The new law is designed to ramp up the liability even higher -- such that when such filters fail (and they always fail because it is impossible to get right), the fines will be catastrophic. As such, the entire point of Articles 11 and 13 is to be so ridiculous and so draconian, that Google and Facebook would have no choice but to pay up to avoid getting hit with tons of lawsuits. It's an extortionate plan, put together by the EU bureaucrats, to favor legacy gatekeepers.

Just as Google and Facebook are being rewarded financially for all their hard work in producing amazing software, clever algorithms and exciting designs, we think authors, film-makers, journalists and musicians should also be rewarded for their endeavours too. At the moment the balance of power in who gets paid for such royalties resides overwhelmingly with the big Californian companies — who are worth around $1 Trillion.

This implies -- totally falsely -- that "authors, film makers, journalists and musicians" are not being rewarded today for their endeavors. They are. Some successfully. Some unsuccessfully. Demanding that EVERY INTERNET COMPANY that hosts content (not just Google and Facebook) cough up massive sums of money to gatekeepers (who have a history of not paying actual creators) doesn't seem like a smart path forward. It sounds like an utterly corrupt one.

The Copyright Directive is an attempt to create a level playing field where everyone can gain from the amazing options that the new technologies offer. Musicians, artists, video producers and the whole creative sector will benefit by having a fairer negotiating position.

"Everyone can gain"? By making platforms no longer work? By making it impossible to post and share content? By forcing small companies out of business? By killing off the ways in which many independent creators now earn their livings? The EU Commission is so bizarrely disconnected from reality.

Journalists and online publications will have more money to keep on financing quality research and news. Despite what you might read, the Copyright directive supports a free press and could enable journalists to get some money when their articles are shared online. Good journalism costs money and without a free press there is no democracy.

Remember, Article 11 has already been tried in both Germany and Spain, and failed in both places. It did not lead to more money for journalists or publications. It did not help support a free press. It actually harmed a free press. How the EU Commission can just push out blatant lies without people laughing at them is beyond me.

Fair remuneration for and from the platforms and a fairer market place is what we want. We cannot achieve a real European digital single market which makes us all better off, if copyrighted material is misused or poorly remunerated. Because if creative people don’t get paid, they can’t afford to be creative. No Mon = No Fun

Define "fair"? Is it "fair" that Return of the Jedi never made a profit and people who were supposed to share in its profits never did so? Is it fair that Lyle Lovett never received any royalties? It does seem fair that artists who build up a strong fan base, like Amanda Palmer, are able to earn a really nice living supported by her fans. It will be too bad when the platforms that helped her do so -- like Patreon and Kickstarter -- find that they are unworkable under Article 13. That seems... unfair. And again, right now more artists than ever before are getting paid. And that's happening because of the internet that Article 13 will fundamentally change.

And, uh, "no mon = no fun"? Isn't this the same damn post where the EU Commission itself was mocking "slogans"? But let's be clear here: there is currently both more "mon" and more "fun" based on literally every single study of the market place today. The internet has enabled wild creativity -- but also tremendous remuneration. The real problem that the EU Commission has is that this is now being spread around much further, and the old gatekeepers with their strong lobbying relationships aren't able to capture as much of it.

The EU Copyright Directive is corrupt cronyism at its worst.

Just like everyone else, the EU loves culture, cinema, art and music. We have no intention in restricting young people’s access to all these wonderful things on- or offline. Oh and by the way, no matter what some people (and paid-for campaigns) may tell you, you will never be prevented from having a laugh online. WE ARE NOT BANNING MEMES. On the contrary, there will be a guarantee that platforms respect your right to self-expression. That includes pastiche, critique and parody.

They keep saying this and it is nonsense. They demand filters -- and then say that platforms will have to "nerd harder" to figure out how not to use those filters to block memes. What they ignore (purposefully, because this has been explained in great detail) is that no filter can understand the context to recognize what is a "meme" or what is parody. Indeed, popular memes have been at the center of multiple copyright cases.

Nonetheless, it appears as if the largest search and video platforms in the world are afraid of regulation — despite having overwhelming dominance on the internet.

This might be the only accurate statement in this whole damn article. They may very well be afraid of regulation. And maybe for good reasons -- because such regulation will massively and fundamentally change the very nature of the internet -- not just for themselves, but for everyone else as well. That's the concern.

Furthermore, there is ample evidence from respected sources, here and here and perhaps here or here or indeed here that ‘Big Technology’ has even ‘created’ grassroots campaigns against the Copyright Directive in order to make it look and sound as if the EU is acting against the ‘will of the people’.

This is the absolute most disgusting part of this. In one paragraph -- much of it linking to a group of people known for (a) being paid by competitors to Google or (b) conspiracy-theory levels of insanity regarding the internet -- the European Commission simply brushes away millions of citizens and their views. While it's entirely possible that the big internet companies are pushing their viewpoint here, the above paragraph is overly inflated nonsense. The public is going crazy about this, in large part because of nonsense like this that is being put out, where it is clear that the bureaucrats in Brussels don't know (a) how the internet works, (b) what this law will actually do, or (c) what the public is actually saying.

Over at Change.org there's a petition protesting this with nearly 5 million signatures, making it the largest petition in Change.org's entire history. You don't fake that. People are angry. And with good reason, when the bureaucrats, who are supposed to represent their interests, are spewing utter nonsense along these lines.

And the most incredible part? Right after totally dismissing the views of the vast majority of the public, these numbskulls state the following:

That’s another myth. Unlike Google and Facebook, the EU is answerable to the public and to democratically elected politicians.

Answerable to the public? You just pretended the views of the public weren't legitimate. You ignored the largest petition in history. You are not representing the interests of the public, but rather a very small legacy industry which failed to adapt. The whole thing is completely disgusting.

https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20190215/18005841607/eu-commission-decides-to-mock-public-insists-fears-about-eu-copyright-directive-are-all-myths.shtml

[detachhunter]

Strange, random, dreams with plot are the best, especially when they remind me that I’d not only be a Knight, but also a sniper if I really could be lmao. HELP! Dreams like this also just…Give a lot of writing inspiration too for things I work on, hmm.

We’re special forces soldiers a part of a larger team, six of us in total, and we’re currently deployed on a mission. Four members of the team is engaged elsewhere from me and my partner’s location, but they’re keeping tabs: their objective is to secure one of the smaller ships from the enemy’s port that we’re infiltrated and head out through the frozen sea to secure a weapons depot platform close to the halfway point in the intersection (basically in the middle of nowhere). My team on the other hand is to stay at the main port and take out the incoming truck cargo: wasting supplies, munitions, and weapons, etc. loaded onto heavy armour trucks in a convoy. Getting into position and setting up, my partner becomes my spotter and makes sure no one finds us, while I simply lay down on a half-secured ‘mountain’ of hard snow getting ready and comfortable. (I remember my vision was pretty blurred every time I looked through my scope, but I never fixed that…)

Waiting for the perfect shot, I got a time from my partner on when the full convoy arrives and that they parked almost bumper to bumper as they were being processed. I take my shot with a compact armour penetrating explosive round that rips through the front truck’s windshield and straight through to the back with the cargo, creating an explosion that chain reacts with all the other trucks (by chance of the dream or because this world has stupid explosive rounds, idk). Also there were seven trucks (if I remember right). Though once the explosion happens, we slide off our cover and book it into one of the port’s main processing and shipping areas that connects to the shipyard; my partner reminds me this is a civilian workplace that has strict timetables which explains why it’s so empty.

As we’re running through the building’s loading district, we can hear enemy forces outside looking for us, though it’s mostly a helicopter zooming by overhead probably trying to get a better spotter from the air in case we’re outside still. As we’re going through the facility, my partner is kicking open doors for us, securing and holding the door open for me as we pass through, I seem to be a lot slower than him and even remember commenting, “Sorry, I’d run faster but my rifle’s heavy” (I remember the weight of that thing being quite a lot along with the rest of my equipment load). My partner simply says he understands, and we get deeper into the work place.

Once we get towards the center of the building again (there seems to be a lot of roof windows here) the helicopter flies overhead again; my partner makes a comment of, “Lucky the place is mostly out for lunch right now, ey?”. Deciding to go a bit further into the building to avoid any more roof windows, I suggest if I could go to the roof, I could easily take the chopper out, however we never confirm that plan as we run into two other operatives from the reserve team that had also infiltrated with us. I seemed to have specifically noted that the shorter, less carry load trooper seemed almost too young to be a soldier (especially for SpecOps), but I knew the other quite well, so I trusted his judgement in potentially bringing a rookie.

The reserve team explains that they’ve commandeered a ship-sub for us to take back to our nearby aircraft base and that the kid is also an expert pilot, which is why he’s here; now that our primary objective has been completed, we’re to reconvene and assist the other team with theirs. We agree, and I’m handed off a special right-hand glove with no explanation, but I replace my current glove with it anyways. It’s then that we’re found by a single enemy soldier scouting ahead of their team and I basically shoot them point blank with my rifle (in which they basically evaporate from my current rounds being used). Moving out to the main shipyard line, my partner and the reserve team get aboard the sub-ship (it’s hard to explain, but what I remember was something mixed between a small flat surface shore ship and a submarine), but I resign to stay and finish picking off any additional enemy supplies and possible aircraft that might prove to be a problem in the long run. My partner seemed hesitant, but eventually agreed with my decision. Getting a confirmation from the other team that they’re close to approaching the depot, my partner and the reserve submerge and head off to the RV point that is our secret aircraft base.

Several minutes after the sub-ship has departed, I begin securing the area when a stealther suddenly appeared and tackles me down, causing us to roll a bit. I seemed quite determined to keep my rifle protected in that instance, holding it close and tight, even shielding it. I try to kick the stealther off, but we just continue to roll, punch, and hit one another until I finally decide to drag us both down into the freezing sea waters since we’re at the edge. Locking my arm tight around my sniper rifle, seemingly resigned to drown us both and drag us down with my carry load, I keep a grip on the stealther but they somehow managed to slip free and secure themselves. Basically freeze-drowning to death, my ‘hibernation’ unit activates and puts my body in shock, but also into a suspended state of death where I’m technically both dead and alive simultaneously until recovered and it’s deactivated (idk the full explanation, I just seemed to know how this shit worked in my dream LOL).

Recovering my (technical) corpse not long after the unit had activated, the stealther goes through my equipment, finding that the freezing waters had rendered most of it and the tech on my person non-functional, but do they manage to fish my locator out and track the reserve squad’s progress and route. Using their own ship-sub, they take me and eventually catch up with the reserve team and my partner before the tunnel transition, likely trying to use me as leverage too as both sub-ships surface and they face each other from the flat surfaces. However, before any ‘negotiating’ can begin the tunnel transition begins, suddenly shifting it from horizontal to vertical which throws the stealther off as they activate their boots maglocks, but they lose grip and my body tumbles, and I literally slam into my partner.

Catching me, he deactivates my hibernation unit (which is also located in the throat for…Some reason) which wakes me in a throw of shock, and I cough up water. However there’s panicked yelling telling me to shoot: I’m mostly frozen stiff, I don’t have any focus whatsoever and my body’s trembling from nervous system overload and freezing. I somehow manage to pry myself subconsciously with my rifle and take an improper mounted shoulder-based shot that gets a prefect kill and a hard recoil to the shoulder before blacking out again.

And then I woke up.

[coe-lilium]

Hey Lilium! I love your Servant redesigns! I'm starting to learn to draw digitally so that I can design Servants myself, like Kriemhild. Would you have any advice you could give me on this?

Hi! Thank you so much for your words!

I’m a bit unsure if you’re asking for tips on digital art itself or on chara design?  

In doubt, I’m going to go with “digital art” in this post, if you meant chara des hit me up with an ask and I’ll happily provide for that :) 

*necessary intro*: please consider that my art education ended 10 years ago and never prepared me for more stylized/cartoon styles, so I’m self taught for almost all intents (100% regarding digital art).

Long wall of text under the cut:

First suggestion is to get a good, reliable art program. 

Plenty of artists use Paint Tool SAI and Clip Studio Paint (currently using CSP myself and don’t plan to ever abandon it). Neither of them is free but both are less pricey than Adobe bundles and both were created more for illustrating than “photoshopping” purposes. There’s plenty more but those are two I used and can recommend. Many art programs usually offer a 30 days trial so my suggestion would be to try them out and see which is more to your liking and offers the best quality/price wise.  

By personal experience, it’s much better to pay and have support than to find a free unofficial version and then get fucked and lose all your works when you update your operating system and discover the bootleg program doesn’t work anymore. Learn from me, don’t risk it.     

Next suggestion, get a drawing tablet or a tablet. Nothing too pricey as a beginner, when paired with a good program any decent tablet will do its job. What you really need is pen pressure, everything else is optional. People draw on their iPads with great results but never having tried I can’t give suggestions here, if not to look for artist who do and see how they work (YT surely has tutorials ‘bout it).   

With hardware and software out of the way, let’s get down to proper drawing business:  

First of all, forget that “but you’re not a real artist if you use references/copy poses” noise: use references, use all the references you want. 

If you want to paint a starry sky and don’t know how to rend the effect, maybe the glowing of a nebula? Look up Youtube and Deviantart tutorials, tumblr tutorials, look up on how all the artist you like paint and their tips, all the IRL photos in google. 

Something I personally find very helpful are tutorials comparing realistic and stylized styles and showing how to go from one to another, how to simplify shapes etc.    

Renaissance artist invented the darkroom/camera oscura to help them drawing perspective and then traced over that shit. If Caravaggio traced to save time, then so can we. 

And there’s so many different ways to reach a similar result that maybe your first attempts will look like copycats of that tutorial you saw or that really inspiring artist. It’s fine. But the more attempts and the more you play with your program of choice, brushes you like/find more comfortable, the more you look up different sources and integrate bits of them all in a singular piece, the more your work will be distinct.

Now, onto one of the big elephants in the room: do you know how to correctly sketch a human body from scratch? If yes, amazing! (all my respect). 

If not, there’s plenty of solutions without having to learn how to (which is the way I currently work bc drawing is a 100% hobby and I’d rather spend my time elsewhere than in re-learning human anatomy) and working digitally makes these solutions way easier. 

After you find a “how to draw anatomy” book or blog or tutorials and safely store it somewhere safe to go back and reference, then you can 

1. find stock photos, either from google (be careful not to use copyrighted stuff) or in bundles specifically created for artists to use as bases or references. On Deviantart for example there’s SenshiStock, incredible project with hundreds of photos free to use. The anatomy book/blog here will be useful if you want a certain body shape and your reference doesn’t match with your idea. 

2. chose a program like CSP or similar that comes with 3D stock poses which you can then alter as much as you like in size, weight, rotation, light direction, position of every body part down to each finger (in CSP’s case, you can also download plenty more free to use poses, brushes, 3d objects, patterns etc created by the userbase and shared in the library bundled with the program).  

3. if your main art program doesn’t come with human poses? no problem at all, get one just for this specific purpose, like Design Doll (both free/pay ver, imo free ver is more than enough), Posemaniacs (free, online, uses flash), MagicPoser (free with option of in-app purchases, it’s an app, good reviews, just tried it a little and seems quite good). 

4. less conventional but imo still useful, especially if you want to draw in “anime” style and proportions for Servants designs: go to My figure collections and use figmas. 

They’re highly posable plastic figures from the most different jp (and not) characters, each one with a photo gallery and as long as you modify the final piece and -important!- don’t sell it if you base it on a specific user photo? I’d say go for it. Or mix body parts of different figmas, or use the “archetype” products, naked bodies made precisely for drawing bases, there’s options with both more “anime” and more realistic proportion. 

I collect them for both owning Fate/other characters without spending a fortune and for drawing references and I find them quite well suited for this purpose. Why on earth despair if I’d ever want to draw Arturia in armor when I can just grab my figma of her, pose it, take a photo and then draw on it? :P

Now, hardware and software check, way to find poses check, what else? 

Layers are your best friends. For example, Bradamante? A good 50+ layers, some of them stored in folders so I could just select and deselect them to remove or put on mantle, lance, shield, sword etc. Just... remember to name them to save yourself a lot of time.  

And changing a layer’s opacity too, especially to draw the definitive lineart over the first rough sketch or for shading or highlights.    

The more I write the more I find things to write about so I’ll call it for now, this post is already a WoT as it is. Hopefully I was of use, but if you need more, ask right away and I’ll do my best! :)               

[fanfictionconnectionwordpress]

Hello~~♡ Uuh , can you please do rfa+minor trio dealing with overly depressed mc ? *whispers* ///i really love your writings!♡///

***Ah, a rough topic that not all our loves may be able to handle T_T I’d also like to make note that *professional help is really important* even if the MM characters don’t know, that is the case. ~Let’s Connect! FFC***

Characterbreakdown: Good ending canon characters, Secret ending 02 Saeran, V from theoriginal routes with an operation to restore most of his sight, my version ofVanderwood as seen in my VanderwoodBackstory Fanfiction

Jumin:

For the past few weeks, you have felt so down and you spend most of your time in bed

You just kind of wake up to find him sitting on the bed and watching you sleep. Before you have time to really process that or even blush, “MC, you sleep far too often. I’ll be taking you to see a doctor today.”

He’ll make sure you get the best doctor/therapist once your diagnosis comes in, but beyond that, he will have Jaehee do some research on how best to care for a depressed individual and proceed to follow these to the letter

Anything that you have seemed to enjoy before, he will do often and as a daily routine: i.e. reading to you as you fall asleep, having breakfast together, cuddling on the couch

Super snuggly jujubean even takes time off just to be with his woman

-

Seven:

You seem to be shutting down on him, so he does the most logical thing and starts to joke around like a crazy person, catching everyone in a massive prank where they end up locked in his garage while the two of you watch on the cctv like it’s a reality show

Once you’ve broken out of your funk somewhat and are laughing and enjoying yourself, he lets the others out and then his serious side comes into play. “MC…if there’s something wrong or you’re hurting, please tell me, so I can help you through it.”

Anytime you’re down, he works tirelessly to cheer you up and break down your walls, so he can get to through to you

If joking doesn’t help, expect to have him quietly in your presence 24/7, just sticking around to make sure you know someone is there for you, simply playing on a game device or tapping away on his computer as he sits by you

-

Jaehee:

She thinks at first you’re on your period, she often feels down when she is on hers, but you can’t be on your period this often

Jaehee decides the best solution is to ask you to join her for movie night. You refuse, too disinterested to bring yourself to leave your room

Her solution? Bringing you baked goods and lattes and then just sitting there with you until you open up and the two of you can have a little girl talk

This becomes her go to method to make you feel cared for when you’re having a particularly down day

The other employees are thankfully able to cover your workload, so she has time to be there for you when needed

-

Zen:

He doesn’t understand why you’re so mopey and upset on such a constant basis, but he does know you need him around

Zen develops a habit of finding you wherever you’re holed up and wrapping his arms around you, reciting lines from his current pieces just because he knows you like to hear his voice

His life will revolve around you when you aren’t feeling well, this includes missing rehearsals, so eventually he’ll (somewhat reluctantly) get Jumin’s help in finding a good doctor, so that you can start to feel better on a more regular basis

-

Yoosung:

He tries to convince himself that everything is fine when you keep brushing off his date plans

Yoosung starts to come over for ‘In home’ dates, but when he asks what you want to watch or eat, you don’t give very committed answers ‘Whatever you want to watch, I don’t know, I’m not hungry’.

Consider our young man panicked. He reads up on your symptoms, and it becomes clear to him that you are depressed

He’s already lost one important person in his life to mental illness, and he isn’t about to lose you too!

Yoosung will take time off from school just to help you get back on a positive spiral if you’re stuck

He wholly dedicates his life to you and making you feel better with his snuggly and generous little self, because you’re his precious girl and matter most in his life

The others will recommend getting a doctor involved if he’s taking off too much time from school, which he will absolutely refuse at first until he realizes that it only makes it worse for you when he’s giving up his entire life to take care of you

-

V:

He is no stranger to mental illness, and once he realizes what is going on, he heavily encourages you to see a therapist

V will be incredibly wary and careful not to say anything that might support your illness or romanticize it in anyway, thanks to his past mistakes

There is a possibility that he will pull away from you, unable to keep himself from slipping into old habits and trying to ‘Happy the pain away.’

I just in general do not recommend a relationship between V and a mentally ill person thanks to his unconditionally worshiping and romanticizing personality

-

Saeran:

You pushing him away causes him to have a panic attack, which in turn makes him push you away rather violently as he is afraid of abandonment, making you more depressed in a vicious cycle of what is clearly an unhealthy relationship

He would try to cuddle you, you’d end up saying something along the lines of ‘you need to go, I don’t deserve you’ and he would shout at you ‘well if you want me to go so badly, I will’ and go…so…it just seemed to get worse and worse

The two of you, with the help of Saeran’s therapist, decide to get you into therapy as well

It’s a really difficult decision, partially because of how obsessed Saeran was with you in the beginning of your relationship, but you take a break from your relationship until the two of you are more mentally healthy and able to take care of each other rather than triggering each other into negative spirals all the time

In the end, it’s better for the two of you to remain as friends and you each find love elsewhere, though you’ll both be a large part of each other’s lives forever

-

Vanderwood:

When you started not wanting anything really to do with him, he turned inwards. Did you not love him anymore? Wasn’t he enough for you? Were you abandoning him like everyone else in his life?

It suddenly clicks one day for him as he walks in on you mindlessly staring at the fan, watching you for a solid ten minutes before he realizes you aren’t sleeping but are just totally catatonic

He slips into bed with you and just holds you for a while before he starts to cry, apologizing profusely for not noticing sooner, his heart utterly breaking over how much inner pain you must be in

Vanderwood knows what it’s like to be depressed. He’s been there, done that, and thanks to you he was able to break out of his unhealthy coping method, his sex addiction

As a method of making sure you avoid unhealthy coping methods, he gets a therapist/doctor involved and makes sure you’re getting the care you need

When you’re having a particularly hard time, he will sit with you, holding you from behind and humming softly as he rocks back and forth

This man loves you and you are his whole life, if it weren’t for his forethought of getting a doctor involved, he would work himself to death caring for you. Thank goodness for professional help

-

Asks MasterList.

Send me an ask! Want your ask answered almost immediately? Become a Patron. Everyone else is first come first serve. NSFW and SFW accepted.

Current unanswered HC count: 31

Check out my fanfictions.

Want to commission a one-shot, rp conversion, full fic? Send me a message.

[canchewread]

Author’s note: Under the Hood is a semi-regular feature that details website and social media updates as they relate to my work and the writing at ninaillingworth.com. I post it here on Can’t You Read pretty much entirely to reduce clutter on NIDC.

Under the Hood: Better Late Than Never Edition

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, the month of June has turned out to be a giant clusterf*ck in multiple aspects of my life; I’m obviously not dead, but the sensation of trying to push a bolder up a hill is growing by the day. I will however spare you the minutia of my tribulations in this space and simply note that I’m back working on content creation again; a fact which will hopefully become obvious when new articles start appearing on NIDC.

In the meantime I’d like to cover some important updates that relate to my work, my social media presence, and the newest author joining our growing collective on ninaillingworth.com. 

Let’s get right to it:

A Country Called Capitalism

For better, or often enough for worse, my writing has pretty much always focused on American news and politics. In part this is because my readers tend to be Americans, but its also because I myself have a lifetime’s worth of cultural experiences and historical knowledge about the U.S.A. They say you should write what you know, and unlike many of my countrymen, I’m acutely aware that I usually don’t know enough to credibly comment on the news from other countries.

This isn’t of course to say that I only care about American news, or that I’m unprepared to do the legwork necessary to comment on say, internal Labour Party politics in the U.K., or Canada’s sale of militarized vehicles to the Saudi regime on the downlow. For the most part however, I try very hard to stay in my lane as it were.

Recently however, I’ve undertaken a project to bring additional writers and more content under the ninaillingworth.com umbrella, and through the magic of the internet, I’ve found several people who live on other Pig Empire countries that have relevant things to share about other places. In particular, I’ve falling in with some dreadfully ungovernable Canadian writers whose experiences so closely match those of my American readers, I honestly can’t think of a single good reason not to publish their work.

So as of today, please be advised that ninaillingworth.com is going semi-internationalist. I’m going to publish some stories about places like Canada, the United Kingdom, and perhaps even some non-Pig Empire nations, whenever I can find a credible “man on the ground” with something important to share. For readers who’re only interested in American-centric content, never fear; I remain as ignorant and laser focused on Yankee nonsense as I’ve always been, and lord willing I’ll be publishing new essays of my own soon enough.

A Spider Comes From the Fog

In that same vein, I’d like to announce that NIDC is collaborating with a new anarchist writer who specializes in personal decolonization, anti-colonialism, and on the ground coverage of direct action protests in Canada. Knowledgeable, humorous, and every so slightly sarcastic, I’m pretty sure this author is going to be a big hit with our regular audience - despite the fact that they spell funny, and probably own a toque.

Given the nature of both the work involved here and the fascist police state we all seem to be living under in the Pig Empire, I’ve agreed to allow them to publish under a nom-de-plume; specifically Anarcharachnid. I have complete confidence that the experiences this author chronicles are true, and that Anarcharachnid is operating in good faith; the decision to withhold their government name is purely a tactical choice, designed to protect the safety and freedom of the writer in question. 

For those of you now interested in reading Anarcharachnid’s work, I’m planning on publishing their first essay on NIDC later today. Watch that space for updates.

Covering the Gap and @ASNinaWrites

As you may or may not be aware, I maintain a publicity account on Twitter; @ASNinaWrites. This account, which is always run by someone who is not me, mostly exists to post links to my new articles, share older articles that are relevant in light of recent events, and help spread ideas about mutual aid and socialism. 

Unfortunately due to circumstances that are only partially my fault, I’ve recently been forced to change account managers for @ASNinaWrites. There are no hard feelings or drama involved, mostly the issue is that I’m hard to work for, and the person previously running the account became too busy to manage the account due to other professional endeavors, over time. As you can imagine however, this isn’t an easy position in the NIDC organization to fill, and it’s likely going to take me a few more weeks to find a permanent replacement for the previous account manager.

In the meantime I’ve asked an old friend and mentor to take over the posting duties for @ASNinaWrites and I must say that so far, I think they’re doing a smashing job. Combining daily quotes, memes, communist dad jokes and relentless politeness, even I’m kind of enjoying the updates from @ASNinaWrites at the moment. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for this assistance in my hour(s) of need.

Please keep in mind that I’m currently not paying this person, who would likely refuse my money anyway because they’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever met; I would greatly appreciate it if readers took it easy on my volunteer. I’ll let you know when I find a more permanent replacement.

And with that, I’d better get back to work...

- nina illingoworth

Independent writer, critic and analyst with a left focus. Please help me fight corporate censorship by sharing my articles with your friends online!

You can find my work at ninaillingworth.com, Can’t You Read, Media Madness and my Patreon Blog

Updates available on Instagram, Mastodon and Facebook. Podcast at “No Fugazi” on Soundcloud.

Inquiries and requests to speak to the manager @ASNinaWrites

Chat with fellow readers online at Anarcho Nina Writes on Discord!

“It’s ok Willie; swing heil, swing heil…”

[adeleymccormick1990-blog]

state auto insurance company rating

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes from different companies :insurance4hquotes.xyz

state auto insurance company rating

state auto insurance company rating is the most affordable. The lowest risk car insurance companies are all rated at A+  What companies do you consider  What companies offer good drivers and why How to save money on car insurance in West Virginia, West Virginia or Iowa  How can I lower my  What are the best cheap car insurance rates in West Virginia or Iowa?  How do you save money on  How does your auto insurance look?  What do the cheapest car insurance rates look like? The best cheap auto liability Find cheapest quotes to help you Find cheap auto insurance rates If you don’t have insurance, . To see the below, click at the link and get cheap auto insurance quotes from us. Enter your zip code below! How much do auto insurance costs in West Virginia? Your income is a factor in determining your auto insurance rate, so if you live in West Virginia, you can. state auto insurance company rating Drivers who are rated at the highest of five out of 10 rated states can receive auto insurance discounts Drivers who have been denied car insurance coverage by at least one company could enjoy rewards for their successful driving record Insurance companies that write policies for college students may also offer college discounts for students enrolled in an online account or driver training program. Please note some of these programs are not available in all states. Online accounts: When you register for your free or low-cost online account, you’ll be asked to provide a valid credit card (or a debit or credit-card with the same insurance company) and prove that you are a current or former student of a university or college. You’ll be asked to fill out the required insurance application and must provide your proof of insurance. The process. state auto insurance company rating to provide more personalized advice. You can choose from the best companies to match your needs if you have an expensive vehicle or need car insurance, or if your vehicle has been illegally registered yet. Car insurance is the most common type of insurance, but renters insurance also comes with its own protections and pitfalls. If you take your personal photos with your camera, renters insurance will not cover you because they are a photo ID requirement. It will not help you to take a selfie with yours, at least not with photos from your phone that your insurance claims adjuster will use. While renters insurance is necessary to protect your property in the event of a collision you will require, it does not cover your private areas for car theft, even after the insurance coverage is in place. When your insurance policy applies to provide your rental, your policy should list your name and address. Not everyone can buy cars, but for good reasons, renting can lead to having one of these benefits. In the world of renters, the only.

State Auto provides home insurance in the following states:

State Auto provides home insurance in the following states: The rates change depending on specific factors, so always check with your insurance provider to see if there’s anything that could be changed. Cheap car insurance in Florida can be difficult to come by. Rates can be quite expensive in certain areas. For example, Miami and Daytona Beach are both at a high risk for weather-related damage caused by hurricanes and flooding. Also, FL is prone to many violent weather patterns, meaning you will need to shop around for cheap auto insurance in this state to protect yourself in an event of peril. Many companies may deny you the benefits through Florida state requirements. Many Florida drivers may be surprised by the state required minimum coverage. The minimum amount of insurance in Florida is: The following guide tries to explain why these are required. Florida drivers have the standard:  Car insurance is required in a state such as Florida. In most states, you are required to have.

Is State Auto Insurance for You?

Is State Auto Insurance for You? Is State Auto Insurance for You All States? How High Do they Have? Is High or Low Class Car Insurance? What Is a High Risk? Is High or Low Class Car Insurance All it s Can a Driver or Car Insurance Policy be Similarly Differential How does one car insurance company The Best Automobile Drivers in Michigan Alumni of Alumni Insurance State Auto Insurance For Drivers High Why Alumni Insurance is Different From State Auto Michigan State Auto Insurance For Drivers Low How Does State Auto Insurance Work? State Auto Insurance For Drivers high will include some of the minimum Requirements for A Minimum Requirements Underwriting: 18 to 65 years In some states, the state also has to have State law is considered a no-fault No-fault State of Michigan Auto Insurance: .

State Auto Insurance Coverage

State Auto Insurance Coverage Plan is one of the most used insurance policies. They are also known for their discounts and coverage. You might also know them for their auto insurance. This insurance coverage will give you discounts and coverages you can’t get elsewhere. You can get car insurance through them through their website, or contact them by phone. There are a lot of people who want to look into getting car insurance through this company. is an easy way to find the best car insurance for home users and those who will be driving around for a very long trip. The car insurance in this post is available from an online agent on an app or phone for the most part, though you should always make sure that the policy details are clear when you buy the coverage. When it comes to auto insurance, you can get the car insurance coverage from these companies as listed: As mentioned above, all you have to do is shop around and compare rates. If you want the most reliable product that you can get, or if.

Your Insurance Company Reviewed

Your Insurance Company Reviewed in: -2018-2017-2018-2018-2019 *This Review is a non-forfeiture form on behalf of the insured, an individual for whom no or limited liability is a liability condition.  The policyholder is not obligated by law to surrender the Policy.  It’s a condition for certain types of liability insurance coverage that is designed for all situations, to protect against certain type of assets that are commonly excluded from a policy by a particular insurer.  This condition is a condition of an insurance contract, not an exclusion of an insurance policy.  A policy would be a requirement to sign the contract, which is defined through insurance writing.  The policies will also cover a range of other costs, such as living expenses, such as funeral costs, transportation charges, and repairs.  This is an important condition to have, as it is a necessary condition on the part of life insurance carriers. In short, this condition of life.

State Auto Insurance Pricing

State Auto Insurance Pricing and Ratings. The insurance is a basic liability that protects the other driver in the crash. It is meant to protect the driver. However, you cannot buy comprehensive and collision insurance when you’re not driving in Michigan, so be sure to talk to your insurance agent about the cost of liability coverage. If you’re involved in an accident, it is generally not your fault, regardless of whether you were at fault or not. So, if you are at fault and your insurance company decides not to insure your car, the accident lawyer will be happy to help you. If you are not currently driving in Michigan, you should check the state’s . If there are questions about what the car insurance requirements are in your state, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us to clarify any of these questions. We work hard to keep our clients safe in the case of an auto accident and we will always assist you if something unexpected occurs. <|endoftext|.

State Auto Insurance Satisfaction Survey

State Auto Insurance Satisfaction Survey2018-2018 When you’re dealing with an auto insurance company, you want to be sure they’d be in the best possible position to cover you at an appropriate rate. If no, but here are three things you can do when getting auto insurance for your insurance policy: To make sure you’re properly covered at the highest rates possible, you should actually check yourself, to see if your policy’s coverage has been breached. You’ll also find that it’s important to understand the requirements of one of your policy owners on the part of a professional. These are the reasons why you should be prepared to pay your high rate for your Auto Insurance premium. That means you’ll want the best coverage for the lowest premium and you’ll want to get the lowest premium from a provider who knows you better. Some states have laws that mandate some kind of insurance coverage, such as , as a.

FREE Insurance Comparison

FREE Insurance Comparison Compare Quotes From Top Companies and Save  Secured with SHA-256 Encryption Although insurance policies vary by state, most companies will require the driver also to show proof of insurance after making a claim to cover damages and the other drivers’ insurance when they are operating a car without insurance. Even if your insurance doesn’t cover the damage done to your car, it will cover damages done to your car if you get into an accident under the policy. In Wisconsin, the insurance you have with your insurance company can cover about 90% of this expense, according to Wisconsin Department of Insurance. That means if you get into an accident, you will face a bill of $20,000 or more from your insurance company. This information is important information to an insurance company as it could potentially save you from having to file a claim under your policy as a result of the damage. An estimated twenty-four states and the District of Columbia require certain levels of auto.

Contact Information for State Auto Insurance

Contact Information for State Auto Insurance Company You want to buy car insurance to protect your vehicle. Don’t just shop for the lowest price from a broker, or the right insurance company for you. Before you hit the road, make sure you have the proper amount of coverage needed to make sure you are prepared. Get started now. Enter your zip code below to view companies that have cheap auto insurance rates.  Secured with SHA-256 Encryption It’s true that when you buy auto insurance you will be asked for the state’s minimum limits. But some states require you to purchase greater amounts of coverage than the minimum requirements in your state. The average amount of time it takes to buy auto insurance varies by state. However, many factors are tied to your location and therefore the price you’re quoted for car insurance. These include the driver’s age and any traffic violations or incidents you’ve had.

State Auto Insurance Company Overview

State Auto Insurance Company Overview NerdWallet researches insurance companies in the Midwest to see if they have the cheapest rates in Chicago. The cheapest insurance companies in Chicago If you’re looking for Chicago car insurance, it’s important to shop multiple companies to find the cheapest rates. NerdWallet’s insurance price comparison tool can help you check rates in your area. ​ Auto insurance rates vary by company, so it’s smart to compare as many quotes as you can. To help simplify your shopping experience, we’ve outlined the cheapest car insurance companies in Chicago based on the largest market shares, with the largest write-offs and lowest claims. » MORE: Personalized quotes based on verified consumer information. Pros: Compliance with state minimum liability rules. Fewer complaint ratings than the industry median. Fair rates for long-standing customers. Get Your Rates #blank# 12.

State Auto Insurance Reviews and Customer Comments

State Auto Insurance Reviews and Customer Comments! First, let’s take a look at this insurance company’s ratings. They have an A+ rating out of 100, with an A. Well, they did an  by their A.M. Best rating. The company also maintains its top financial strength from A.M. Best, which in turn is one of the most important factors when choosing a insurance company. Their ratings are good, but they’re not all that unique. So, they are a little more unique on the company you can’t find other than a . Since they’re not all that high in the ratings you can take a look at, you will not see them quite like . You can make an appointment with an insurance agent to discuss how you can make an anti-theft device, and your insurance agent will get you a quote. Another great insurance company that does offer a variety of ways to pay your rates, is MetLife. Although.

[rkcheri]

#interview: halloween edition ! ° [ + ] lee, jihyun —————— ✦ ˟   › ! royal survival &. episode five: interview   ┄ ·˚₊

the last time she had an interview of this magnitude had been during dream high. a panel of the cast and crew, stacked side by side; each with their own questions to answer -- their own smiles placed right before the camera. at the time, she wasn’t alone. if she messed up, she had daehyun or hongbin -- someone else to tide the question in their direction, garner a laugh out of the press and that’d be it. it’d be a mishap of nerves and end on an abnormally good note.

but this, these were the types of interviews she had always dreaded. where lee jihyun had no one else to rely on but herself; and she knew deep down, she didn’t have the patience nor courage to find that type of self-empowerment. two weeks couldn’t help instill it, either. with these types of interviews, it was more dog-eat-dog than pansies and daisies. 

the ones that drilled question after question, ones far worse than the first. with people who seemed to know every lie even before it was said. she tells herself she knows better than to give too much away. tells herself not to get carried away with the questions that burn holes into her psyche. it’s borderline frightening knowing just one slip-up could land her on a one-way ticket back into the depths of royal’s basement. it brings shivers down her spine just thinking about it. fingers flutter over gold filigree, a brief stand-in for her usual crescent that lays by her collar. it keeps her at ease, only for a moment. it’s a brief summoning, a wishing away of nerves.

the calm before the storm, that is, until one of the producers emerges from the shadows, in tow are the dispatch reporter and the camera operator. at least this time, it’s not under the guise of flashing lights and the scrutiny of more than a dozen pairs of eyes.

two pairs will do.

jihyun emerges from her seat, bent at the waist as she greets them; hand already out, taken by the reporter within a moment’s notice.

       ❛ hello,  ❜  comes the rosy tones, soft and light -- breezy.                                             ❛ i’m lee jihyun.  ❜

their eyes meet and jihyun feels the loss of words; a slack of jaw from the immediate contact. a ringing in her ears; a little spew of dizziness that catches her, their own intensity blinding her momentarily. hands slip from grasps; seats are taken. her smile resonates, catching up to the slew of stolen grace that had consumed her seconds earlier. from the nonchalant chatter to get the interview off it’s feet to the more long-winded roles of family, allows the conversation to occur without spontaneous pausing. it keeps her at ease, talking about something that genuinely makes her happy. it was no secret how close jihyun was to her family, if any indication of having them plastered all over her social media had any say on it. despite the enormous distance laid between them, she tried to stay connected.

                        ❛ so, you said you were born in busan --                                but we’ve found that your family                                currently resides in new york ? ❜

there’s a laugh wedged in there somewhere, properly placed; hidden behind her smile as she recounts fond memories, not so nice times and the more lighter half of her childhood. “i was born in busan but when i was eight, my family and i moved to the states. we ended up staying in new york, or well -- they ended up staying in new york while i came back.” it’s a white lie -- a deviance of the actual tales that laid between the time she left home and the time she actually came. but she knows, that’s the least of the public’s worries. none of that really needed to be known, anyways.

                        ❛ that must’ve been hard -- leaving korea at such                            a young age and beginning again, elsewhere.                            was new york not what you expected, is that                            why you came back to south korea ?  ❜

she keeps her eyes softer than usual, placed in contact at all times -- attention give wholeheartedly to the reporter. not staring but not gazing, either. it’s a battle of wills to keep them from slipping, from fingertips tapping and legs shaking. fingers are crossed between the other, laid in her lap; one ankle over the other. oh, how her mother would be so proud! all those years of etiquette and it seemed today of all days did they finally pay off.

“it was hard, at the time.” she nods, a slow drawl of her words; reciting them once before reiterating them again silently. it’s a slow rush of emotions, a reel of memories that begin at once.  “i was young, i’ve never really been anywhere else but we went for my mom. it was a great opportunity for her; and i had my family, and at the time, it was all i needed.” she consumes too much of nonchalant comments, answers unsaid questions where they’re otherwise not needed. it’s too much going on and she has to pause to actually think of what the reporter was asking of her, what he had actually wanted to know. “but new york was my mom’s big break, as i got older, i realized i wanted my own. i wanted to find my own place where i knew i could shine. and i left knowing that new york wasn’t it.”

                        ❛ your mother ? you mean, lee miyeon or, georgiana,                           as broadway knows her.                            she’s rather famous in america, isn’t she ?                           do you think her success has helped you ?                           perhaps, paved the way to where you are today ? ❜

only a few questions in and already jihyun feels the nip of frost; the closing of one chapter and the entrance of another -- training wheels loosened and the wolves were eager with hunger. the only sheep she can find was the one stacked right before her own wolf; recorder split between them. the producer at the side the least bit of help as the questions slowly begin to escalate. she shifts in her seat, uncrosses her ankles to cross them another way. breathes in twice, blinks a few more times than necessary. 

“i-,” a precursor lies between her words; picks up time where there isn’t any to be found. “i wouldn’t say so.” it’s denial at it’s finest. the first string to the many she’s upped her arsenal in. she knows to be prepared but how much is an understatement as she’s currently understanding.

“my mom is my idol, the very first role model i’ve ever had -- she chased her dreams and got to where she was because she never stopped believing in her own.” she tries to fill in the gaps the best she can; finding words that test the questions in a different way. drives them further from negativity and spins them where they can only be sought as positively. “i can’t say her success hasn’t impacted me, because personally -- her success incited a determination in me like hers. it taught me to not give up so easily, no matter the obstacle. i can say, from the bottom of my heart, that i wouldn’t be here without her or my family. they have supported my dreams since the beginning, like we’ve supported hers, and i think that it has helped me the most.”

she breathes, calms her nerves -- an overactive high that diminishes the moment she sees the reporter nod. a sliver of a smile. jihyun isn’t sure how to take the reaction but easily deduces it with a grain of salt. she’s survived the first string of bullets drawn her way, would the rest be avoided just as easily?

                        ❛ it seems you’re set on being an idol --                            if you had the chance, no -- if you were born again,                            would you want to be an idol ?  ❜

she counts the significance of this question on a single hand -- the amount of times it’s been heard is laughable to a fault. as a child of few expectations and a little too much indecisiveness, her parents had constantly prompted her on trivial questions. from the very first time to the last second before she left new york, each time was more different than the last. to hear it again, after years of having her heart set on consistency, brings her back. jihyun’s smile is a little more fonder, kept in that easy grace unlike the last question had -- as if she’s taken back eons to a better time.

“i think, in another life -- i wouldn’t want to be an idol. i think the purpose of having a different life is to do something new, try to become someone your other life was unable to be -- become. i’m not sure who i’d be but i don’t think i’d want to become an idol, it’s as if i’m putting this life to shame by trying to redo it again.” was she making any sense, it’s a twist on words -- a real tongue-twister to try to put things in a more theoretical aspect. but it’s all jihyun can do to make it a little more her, revealing enough -- but not too much -- of what and how she thinks.

“i’d like to think that when i’m gone from this life, i lived it to the fullest it could be -- with no regrets, whatsoever. as idealistic as it may be, that’s how i want to live my life.”

                        ❛ i see. it seems like you’ve already got your life planned                            ‘til the very minute detail. do you know where                             you’d be in five years, where you see this life headed ?  ❜

the way the reporter weaves to and fro between the questions varies upon intensity; it’s a whirlwind ride trying to react accordingly to what they’re trying to provoke from her. she wants to stay passive but it’s unlike her to let the conversation escape from her grasp without some kind of emotion leaving her. not yet the industry robot, not too far set in her ways, does she let slip the thinnest hum from her lips.

“it seems like i do, right? i don’t, actually. if i did -- i probably wouldn’t be trying my luck on this show if i already knew where my life was headed. i guess, that’s the thing with life; it’s full of surprises. as for me, i’m always ready for what it has in store for me that i stopped trying to predict what will happen next. if i get my hopes up too high for it to,” she bites her tongue; a small reminder that what she’s saying hits a little too close to home ( wasn’t it just a month ago she was almost on the out ? ); “... fall, that wouldn’t be living my life to the fullest, would it?”

                        ❛ you’re rather optimistic, lee jihyun-sshi.                            that optimism must have helped during the last                            three years. was it worth it -- being a trainee this                            long when most of the girls on the show are younger,                            have been training less than you have;                        are on the same level as you, someone who has                            trained longer, is older than they are ?                            do you feel at a disadvantage ? ❜

an avoidance of ums and uhs are hard to come by when one is put on the spot, especially when they’re taken off guard. thinking the worse had already come had been a premature, rookie-esque mistake. it seemed the dispatch reporter had more in store for her than she thought. her eyes stray from their piercing gaze, the first time despite the lengthy interview, that she does. a moment’s notice delayed as she tries to come up with her best options, none of which require her to faint, run out of the room, or embark on a vicious tantrum because suddenly she’s left speechless. none of them are things she’d really do, but it was worth a shot if it meant avoiding answering such a question. one of which -- had always seemed to come back and bite her in the ass.

“i admire my peers, they’re so young and have so much potential ahead of them but it’d be far too unrealistic for me to think i’m at a disadvantage.” it’s the best way she can say her deepest desires without stepping on too many toes. it’s also the only way she’d be able to answer the question with the least bit of spite she knows she’s harboring. because it is true, the others were younger, they had less time on their hands unlike she, out of the royal trainees who were showcased on the show, had the longest rapport with their company. it was unfair, but was life. you didn’t always get what you wanted, something she’s known for much longer than she liked to admit. “i know where my strengths are and i know i can do that better than anyone else can.”

she knows it sounds cocky, but jihyun did know where her potential, her own worth lied within the company. whether she would debut this term or not, she couldn’t decide that but that didn’t mean she wasn’t worth it. jihyun knew she was talented, nothing was going to change that.

( at least, that was what she was going to keep telling herself )

                       ❛ optimistic and confident. but of course, that’s in your ...                           talent. what about your looks ? you’re not getting any                           younger, have you ever thought about going under                           the knife or have you done so, already? ❜

the interview seems to keep fishing, a long reel of words that come up are suddenly up for repetition; trying in earnest to find what made her tick. they all are meant to provoke and so do they; it causes discomfort where usually there would be none. but it’s hard to deflect when all your shields are diverted like a leaf in the wind; blown away by the big, bad wolf. 

“i’ve thought about it, sure -- who hasn’t. and if they say they haven’t, they’re lying.” it buys the least bit of time and will probably be the worst part of her commentary for the time-being for such a touchy subject but it’s what’s done and there’s no way she can take it back especially when she’s already feeling the after effects, the exhaustion that comes from sitting and allowing such questions to be said. “i guess, if you think i’ve done something i guess it really says something about my genetics. which, i have my mom to thank for -- i guess i’m pretty as i am because of her.” though, she’s sure -- among the contestants, she was far from the prettiest but it does say something about being thought to have gone under the knife. did she look fake or was she just that pretty?

                        ❛ don’t worry, lee jihyun-sshi, we’re about done.                            the last question, i promise it’s an easy one.                            what’s it like being on stage ? is there something                            you’d rather have in exchange ? ❜

"there’s a dozen of things that come to mind that i wish could be exchanged for the feeling i get from being on stage but it’s not the same. the feeling i get from being on stage is different than anything else i’ve experienced and it’s weird to think about. because i’m young -- well, not that young but i consider myself young enough to not have experienced enough, yet. i’ve still got a whole life to live but for now, i don’t think there’s anything that i would want to exchange for the feeling i get when i’m on stage. it’s a euphoria of some kind, different than adrenaline or any other joy that comes to mind. i’m just happier, when i’m on stage. i feel like i can do anything, conquer the world, maybe? or -- like i’m on top of the world, for that matter.” fingers push her fringe from her eyes, heartfelt as her smiles becomes one with the warmth bearing from deep brown and hazel. “i’m just better when i’m on stage.”

                       ❛ and that’s a wrap !                          thank you for your time, lee jihyun-sshi. ❜

it’s the end in the ongoing torment she feels has yet to cease but a good in between nonetheless. a breather, if there ever was one, was necessary and the tiny gap they had given her allows her smile to form. she nods, happy for the small ease; a breakaway from the tension that had filled her shoulders from the last question.

                         finally, it was over.

the niceties come in and out, as quick as their faces come and go. jihyun pays her respects and bends at the waist, falls in line with the way they disappear without a moment’s notice before taking her seat once more. a final breath appears from thin air and she’s left exhausted by their long interrogation of this and that. now that it was finally over, she felt relieved. as if a weight, among the many that have left her this season, had been lifted. 

but eerily, it feels too good to be true. she rises from her seat, left to mingle by her lonesome. it’s the first in the hour she’s been in the room, that she’s actually had the time to venture throughout it. going through the beautifully and intricately designed costumes to pass the time, who knows when they’ll be back. she’s hesitant at first, reaching out for a moment only to pull back, doubting her actions as she moves away from the mannequins that held the pieces. 

jihyun turns away from them, ready to take her seat once more only to hear a slight buzz. was it the halloween spirit or were her ears playing tricks on her? her neck cranes, turning slight to spy her mannequins from behind. they didn’t look like they had moved but one couldn’t be too sure, now? especially with the season of tricks and treats upon them, who really knew what the producers had up their sleeves. 

or perhaps, she was overthinking it. maybe nothing was going on -- maybe it was all in her head. that was the way to go, jihyun thinks. there was no way that mannequin had moved. no way. 

at least -- until it decided to crumble right before her eyes, body parts flung about to lay by her feet; tearing an atrociously sized rip in one of the dresses. 

if her blood-curling scream wasn’t enough, her scampering away from the scene should have been a feast for the eyes that caught her red-handed. heeled soles kicking away the pieces of mannequin that lay demolished by her side. her expression a picture-perfect scene of fright. 

“i-i-” the stutters begin, as fingers try to push away tresses from her eyes; the color having yet to return to her face.

the designer, she presumes is the one that flies right past her to the dress; picking up the pieces with disgusted fingertips. her own screams of disbelief outdoing her own that have finally ceased. all she can hear is the heavy beating of her frantic heart in her ears and the newly-unveiled place of blame that has hounded her heavy shoulders.

“WHAT DID YOU DO ?!” she hollers and jihyun feels herself shrink further; shame reveling in every pore and frame. she’s actually trembling, hands unable to shake the quivers that unnerve her from seeing the mannequin actually break before her eyes. was it work of a ghost? was the studio actually haunted?

the accusations come flying; like bullets, far more severe than the questions she had just answered. they hit every bone and fragment that laid her as an easy target. she’s unable to defend herself except for the vowels that seem to compromise her very being. “i-i didn’t mean to, well -- i didn’t. i mean -- it,” her fingers rattle, shamefully pointing at the disembodied mannequin. 

“are you blaming the mannequin?” the producer asks in disbelief, one that mirrors her own. was she really blaming an inanimate object right now? but who else could she rely on than her own two eyes -- she had seen what had happened, but could they really be able to verify what she said was true? even jihyun was a little freaked from the words that were coming from her own lips. 

“i can’t believe this.” 

neither can i -- almost comes jihyun’s own remarks but she’s far too frazzled by the mess to even be spited from the other’s hostility towards her. 

“y-yes, i mean-- no! it is my fault, i wasn’t looking where i was going and i must have bumped into the mannequin and caused it to fall.” in the end, there’s no knowing what had happened -- even jihyun, who had seen what happened, didn’t really believe it. a mannequin moving on its own accord, what was this -- a horror flick? “i didn’t mean for this to happen --”

“i really am sorry,” here comes the excessive pleading, the apologizing that comes when someone is caught red-handed with their dirty hands in the cookie jar. though, right now it is sans the dirt nor the jar; but she feels burdened enough by shouldering the blame. there was no real way to prove it wasn’t her, so why should she continue spouting nonsense when it’d get her no where?

fingers run through her hair, eyes darting back and forth to the crazed designer and the frustrated producer; her own expression probably one of downright dismay with a sprinkle of fear mixed into the mess. “i’ll try to pay for it in whatever way i can -- i don’t have a lot but i can work for it. it looks like it cost a fortune, i’ll do everything in my power to fix this. i’m really sorry for this.” she knows it sounds like excuse after excuse but there’s no way she can avoid it -- not when she’s already knee deep between the two. could this get any worse? “it won’t happen again, i’m so sorry.”

leave it to good o’ halloween to be up to his dirty tricks.