#my coworkers are talking about hp

[itsjules-here]

TBH being a fan of Harry Potter should honestly be more embarrassing than having a piss kink. Like, good for you if you wanna enjoy it in the privacy of your own home but don't pretend that other people are ok with having it brought up in front of them with no warning and please for the love of the gods do not discuss it at work.

And I say more embarrassing than having a piss kink because at least financially supporting kink gear doesn't put money in the hands of organisations trying to decimate the few protections trans people have from bigotry.

[bowenoke]

dating website based on what pairing/character you mainly write fanfiction for but it does not match people who write the same thing. it matches like. people who write severus snape fanfic and people who write aizawa shouta fanfic. it has a 50% success rate and a 50% murder rate

[xdarkabyssx]

Why couldn't jk Rowling just be a good fucking person??? I have all these Harry Potter decorations I saved up for YEARS for when I had a place of my own to decorate. They're so cool! But I just. Feel too fucked up about it to use them

Like she HAD to go and actively promote genocide against people like me

Like damn

[halfblood-princes-crown]

Hello I have some outside perspectives to the “Is Snape an abusive teacher” argument.

So, I work with middle aged people who have kids of their own, and none of them have ever touched Harry Potter. At all.

I laid out a scenario for them of two teachers. One teacher was Snape and the other was McGonagall. Mr. S and Ms. M

I laid out how Mr. S is mean and verbally rude to the students. I gave examples of some of the things he said, such as threatening a students pet and making a joke about a students physical appearance.

The response to these things was:

My boss: oh, I’d never call for a teacher-parent conference so fast. What warrants a comment like that?

My fav coworker: He said something about a girls teeth? I’m not a violent person but I’d make his teeth look much worse if that was my daughter haha

Next, I laid out Ms. M and how she told a student in front of his class that he was useless, sent three children into an area that was extremely dangerous as a punishment, then locked a student out of the class when there was presumably a school shooter around.

The responses were:

My boss: I’d go to prison! What the fuck? This school sounds like it has a problem with verbal abuse overall, but to actually put my child in physical danger is another level. Anyone who can confidently put a child in danger like that needs to be under a prison

My fav coworker: Mr. S suddenly looks tolerable…so wait, how dangerous is this area she sent them? Like dead body dangerous? (Yes) Oh, yea, I’m joining him in the prison she’s under HAHA WHAT oh my god…

At this point in the conversation, another woman walked in. She’s definitely a grandmother, and they told her the scenario. She basically said Ms. M needs to be investigated. Talking shit and doing shit are two different things, and Ms. M could be thrown in jail for the bull she’s pulling. I actually hate this lady but she ate down right there

The conversation quickly forgot about Mr. S.

Counter arguments would ask if I laid out Mr. S backstory. I ended up revealing that I was talking about HP and I laid down the Snape lore in full. I’m telling you now, they didn’t give a damn. In their eyes it’s like…Ok he’s obviously not mentally fit to be a teacher, but he’s doing it out of a promise to protect a kid, which he succeeded at doing, and he wasn’t the one putting a kid in physical danger, he was putting HIMSELF in danger. It solidified their opinion when I said he died saving everyone.

Parents for Snape💪🏽

I think I want to show them snater arguments next to see how they respond to those. It wouldn’t be fair if I only gave them pro Snape arguments (although I laid everything out in full and they easily could have came for Snapes neck), so I want to see if they agree with anything from anti Snape arguments. They seemed invested enough.

The only thing “anti Snape” they seemed to agree with is that he was dead wrong for joining DEs, but I think we all agree on that. Duh.

[beemovieerotica]

Yoo, your post about the whole controversy around jk Rowling being something not that wide spread outside internet really reasonated with me. I'm openly trans at work + Jewish (and I assume you might know about the Harry Potter game controversy), and one colleague (who I get along well with enough to call my friend) really really loves Harry Potter and keep trying to excitedly talk about it with me... Despite me telling her I am not comfortable about that media. She keep insisting on removing the work from its author because it was her childhood and so important to her.

I just... How do you navigate it when it happens to you? I could really use some reference or perspective overall!

No pressure to answer, I realize it might be controversial subject that may bait I'll faith engagement so I totally understand if you don't respond

oh I'm happy to respond, no yeah when I posted about me blocking anons baiting for discourse I mean I frequently get single sentence asks like "do you support ______" and that's...someone not interested in actually talking to me, but instead doing a witchhunt "are you a Good Person or a Bad Person" to a stranger on the internet. like if someone asked "do you support jk rowling" no context no other discussion, it's weird, it's impersonal, it's not how I want to talk to people (and anyone who has followed me for any length of time would know the answer anyway?)

but yeah sorry getting to your question, that's really difficult to reverse out of that situation if you've already expressed past interest in it...with my coworkers who like hp I'll do a very obviously polite-but-not-part-of-the-group "oh that's fun!" when they talk about it e.g. dressing up as hp for halloween, and I guess I consistently give off enough of an impression of never having cared about it, which is WILD because yeah it used to be my life. so they don't try to get any deeper into it than surface level mentions with me.

but if you've already breached the whole topic of jkr herself...AND they're not responding to explicit requests to steer away the topic...? they fundamentally don't respect your boundaries regardless of the subject matter. like remove hp from the equation and if my coworker said they don't like talking about pirates of the caribbean for even the vaguest reason on earth and I continued to try to engage with them about it, through their discomfort, then it's not really about whether something can ever be redeemed as media or not, they just don't respect boundaries.

at that point that's really shitty if she's in your workspace but she's a kind enough person about everything else to be considered a friend...but if she IS a friend, then you should be able to literally say "sorry I need to step away, this isn't a topic I want to get into" when she brings it up and then. physically step away. like make the boundary an actual physical thing that gets enforced if she doesn't respect your wishes. it SHOULD start to click for her then, because maybe at this point she's learned subconsciously "oh, my friend will talk about my favorite thing with me if I ease them into it, and I can make them get over their discomfort, because they're still here talking to me, aren't they?"

be polite, verbalize the boundary, and physically walk away to enforce the boundary and do something else. you don't have to burn bridges that you don't want to burn, AND you don't have to put up with behavior you don't like!

[seriouslysam8]

My coworker discovered my fic and started talking to me about it. The most awkward conversations I’ve ever had.

Did they know you wrote it???

I have a neighbor who is a die hard HP fan. Every time I talk to her, I wonder if she reads fanfic and if she’s read me. I know the odds are slim, but I always wonder.

[dramioneasks]

HP FESTS: HP Kinktober

HP Kinktober 2021:

It's Just Sex by Kythira - E, 26 chapters - It’s just sex, she says. Nothing serious. Thirty-one days of Malfoy and Granger fucking. Written for Kinktober 2021. For specific kinks, check the chapter titles. Further info in the chapter summaries. (Contains non-dramione pairings)

Lesson Learnt by whimsymanaged - E, 2 chapters - The Slytherin boys spend all their time talking about wanking, and Hermione's exasperated. (Contains non-dramione pairings)

A Delightful Descent Into Depravity by HeyJude19, mightbewriting, niffizzle - E, 32 chapters - In which mightbewriting, HeyJude19, and niffizzle (henceforth referred to as ‘mightbejudizzle’) decided to do Kinktober. As in, all of it. Thirty-one days of kink. Thirty-one mini fics all under 500 words. (Contains non-dramione pairings)

Into You Like a Train by whimsymanaged - M, one-shot - Day 1: Hogwarts Express A little interlude between Hermione and Draco on their way to Hogwarts for their eighth year.

HP Kinktober 2022:

no fest this year

HP Kinktober 2023:

Good Girls and Bad Apples by charingfae - E, one-shot - Hermione wants nothing more than to earn an 'O' from her favorite professor. 'O' for Outstanding, of course. Student/professor roleplay

Winks and Kinks by MarinaJune - E, 10 chapters - A collection of my first 2023 Kinktober submissions. Each chapter will feature a different theme. Subscribe if you'd like to receive updates throughout the month! (Contains non-dramione pairings)

Closets & Confessions by charingfae - E, one-shot - Hermione & Draco are trapped in a storage closet at the Ministry when a particularly potent potion spills, lowering their inhibitions and forcing them to confess their honest desires. Sexual hijinks ensue.

Masked by Taxonomic - M, one-shot - Hermione wants Malfoy to wear the mask.

A Vision in Dishevelment and Ruin by charingfae - E, one-shot - Ministry coworkers Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy get up to shenanigans in his office. Draco whispered harshly into her ear. “You’re going to sit still like a good girl until I finish this paperwork, or I’ll find someone else to keep my cock warm.” Written for days 2 & 4 of Kinktober

This fest is ongoing.

[inconveniently-discorporated]

Like, I'm just ✨sick of this shit✨, ok? I'm sick of this shit. I AM SICK OF THIS SHIT. I'M FUCKING SICK OF THIS SHIT. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF SEEING DEAD BABIES ON MY FEED AND HAVING REAL LIFE PEOPLE (with their behavior and words they know are in my earshot) TELL ME THEY'RE BETTER THAN ME AND THEY DON'T RESPECT ME BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN. AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE IT THAT BAD AND OTHER PEOPLE HAVE IT WORSE AND IT MAKES ME SICK.

I am fucking sick of knowing that:

The chair of my city's Republican party PUBLICLY says that women are ONLY equal to men when it comes to making babies, and otherwise it is "WORKING MEN" who are the key to society because villages don't raise families, MEN do. And NO ONE gives a singular SHIT that he said this

My coworker AGREES WITH and supports people like this.

I REGULARLY CLEAN UP AFTER MY COWORKER WHO SITS ON HIS PHONE ALL DAY LISTENING TO TRUMP SHIT AND OCCASIONALLY SONGS THAT HAVE HOZIER NO SIR THAT IS ✨NOT✨ FOR YOU. BUT I HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO HIM -- AND,

Listen to him TALK SHIT TO HIS FRIENDS ABOUT HOW NO ONE WANTS TO HAVE DAUGHTERS BC SONS ARE WHERE IT'S AT AND BLAH BLAH BLAH, LIKE I HAVE DAUGHTERS AND THEY'RE PRETTY FUCKING GOOD YOU ASSHOLE?

Fucking jesus fucking christ it's the stupidest fucking bullshit I've ever heard of. This man sits here listening to his bullshit AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'LL HAVE RIGHTS NEXT YEAR????? BUT HE'S BETTER THAN ME????

So like, I was pretty big into HP awhile back because I was bullied heavily as a child, and I found a lot of solace in those stories. Even more when my parents died and I really related to that aspect of the stories. I thought it was about welcoming those who were otherwise unaccepted, those who were cast out for dumb fucking reasons. It heavily shaped my worldview into believing I should be KIND and ACCEPTING and fight against bigotry.

And like. Look. I have trans friends who are the KINDEST, SWEETEST, BRAVEST, MOST HARD WORKING people I fucking know who are just as TERRIFIED of being jailed or killed as I am of my little girls being shot bc their mom is a pretty staunch supporter of lgbtqia+ and POC and women's rights; or trump gets into the Whitehouse and decides to level the blue cities to send a message. So obviously it was pretty crushing when the author of the works that INSPIRED ME TO BE THIS FUCKING EMPATHETIC IN THE FIRST PLACE decided to double triple quarter pounder cheeseburger down on being a bully to people like this.

WHY SHOULD MY FRIENDS BE THIS TERRIFIED WHEN THEY'RE THE BEST PEOPLE I KNOW, AND OTHER PEOPLE IN MY LIFE WHO ARE LAZY FUCKING DUMB ASSHOLES JUST GET TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT WITHOUT CARE??????? "WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT ABORTIONS IT'S NOT LIKE I'LL EVER NEED ONE" BECAUSE YOUR DAUGHTER MIGHT NEED ONE SOMEDAY AND COULD DIE WITHOUT IT? WTF WHY DO THESE BULLIES ALWAYS GET A FREE PASS TO BE BULLIES???????

And I'm not going to comment on today's news because it broke today and maybe there's more facts and maybe there's not but what I am going to say is it fucking SUCKS to think that someone who was an advocate, maybe doesn't really respect you or people like you, maybe hurt people, maybe doesn't care -- I don't fucking know but it SUCKS. It's STUPID and it SUCKS and it ESPECIALLY sucks for the people hurt along the way.

I'm not trying to make any kind of definitive declaration or comment, I just have so much ANGER and fear these past few months and just so much SHIT has happened and I just am so fucking beyond cannot evening anymore with this bullshit WHY DO WE TREAT OTHER HUMAN BEINGS LIKE THIS AS IF MOST OF US DIDN'T DIE OFF IN A PLAGUE IN THE 14th CENTURY YOU'D REALLY THINK THE PEOPLE LEFTOVER WOULD LEARN TO DO BETTER AND APPRECIATE EACH OTHER.

So fuck it I'll make this a voting PSA

PLEASE VOTE

PLEASE VOTE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T WANTING TO DESTROY DEMOCRACY

IF YOU CAN VOTE PLEASE HELP OTHERS VOTE

IF YOU CAN'T VOTE YOU CAN STILL HELP, LOOK INTO VOTE FORWARD OR VOLUNTEER TO HELP YOUR OLDER FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO SIGN UP OR OFFER A RIDE OR BABYSITTING OR SOMETHING

PARTICIPATE IN PRIMARIES AND SHIT AND LOCAL ELECTIONS TO TRY TO EFFECT ✨BETTER✨ CHANGE THAN THE OPTIONS BEFORE US RIGHT NOW

I'm just sick of this shit. Fucking do better. FUCK

[raven]

the best thing about my coworkers being like... entirely leftist (well, mostly) is that when our cinema screens Harry Potter (which is... not uncommon, it's been 2 or 3 times in the past 5 years) my coworkers and I make it incredibly obvious that we're judging the guests. We all unanimously absolutely hate it and hate anyone that pays to come and see it. Like, we drop our guest service shtick, start being blunt, talk about how bad HP is when they're still within earshot. It's one of my favourite things to do ever and the best part is our managers do this too

I WISH PEOPLE IN MY LIFE WERE LIKE THIS. i dont know any actual harry potter fans but people will mention it and ill be like "ughhh i hate harry potter soo much" and theyll be like "oh yeah jk rowling sucks but i kind of dont think about her 😸" like... harry potter also sucks. It actually shocked me when i went back into the real world because my mom hates her so much shes told me she wants to burn the books we have from my childhood bc its inhumane to donate them. and my mother is an extreme liberal who would in ANY other case say bookburning is wrong. like jk rowling is a large presence in my life idk how you can ignore it!!

[theehorsepusssy]

True hp story

When I started working at the Target, I was unloading freight in the B block where all the frying pans and office supplies and wrapping paper is. Some old lady came up and asked me where the "gender reveal" stuff was kept. I ain't never heard of that before and asked her what the fuck she was talking about. Was it panties? I'm about to walking her over to the bra and panty area and she tells me it's a baby shower but not a baby shower as I take her to the baby shower shit and say "here ya go" but she doesn't want baby shower shit she wants gender reveal shit and I'm like bluntly asking "what are you talking bout?" And she starts telling me about the baby's gender and I respond "don't you mean the sex of the baby not gender?" And she poops her pants and runs aftrr my coworker who is a sweet little old lady from central America who speaks very little English and asks her I'd she knew where the gender reveal shit was and Marta gives her an even more confused look and asks "¿que?" and the old lady bout shit herself again as I'm shouting "why don't you go to Party City?" from the next aisle. Me and Marta share a chuckle.

[crazycatsiren]

Okay I have a question about JK R*wling and oppressed voices and it makes me uncomfy and… I’m just gonna go on anon. Hope that’s okay.

So, I worked in a bookstore. So of course we sold HP stuff, it was B&N. Can’t get around that, I just never advertised it unless asked specifically about it because it was my job.

But then a new coworker was hired. I’ll call them V. V was non-binary and very, VERY active in the LGBT community and friendly. I really liked them and we seemed to have great convos. I considered them a friend.

But then the topic of HP came up and I mentioned how I don’t advertise HP any more than I absolutely have to for my job because of all the problematic elements within in and because of R*wling herself being very transphobic and just a terrible person. And V… went OFF.

V said I was white knighting for the trans and Jewish community (that I am not a part of) and that I should let them speak for themselves. And let people make their own choices, good or bad. They said that they still loved HP, even though they were non-binary, and that was their choice and that didn’t make them transphobic because they were under the gender queer umbrella.

V said that, when it comes to sensitive topics like these, I should keep my mouth shut. Because, since I am not a part of the oppressed communities, I am taking away their voice, in this case theirs. They said it was fine if I didn’t want to advertise HP, but I shouldn’t “trash it” to them (I don’t feel like I was) when they should be able to speak first.

And I guess I’m just asking for advice for situations like this? I don’t talk to V anymore, I’ve since quit that job, but it really stuck out to me. Because I felt really wrong-footed. And I get that I don’t want to speak over the people that are oppressed, but I didn’t feel like that’s what I was doing in that situation?

I guess… how do I stand up for people that are being hurt by others without taking their voice? How do I use my voice to uplift others and not speak over them? And how do I recognize when I’m talking over someone myself? Because I while I didn’t feel like I was doing that to V, V obviously felt like I was. And I’m just… I’m really confused tbh.

Any help would be appreciated…

You did nothing wrong.

Your former coworker, on the other hand, sounds like a boot licker grasping for excuses to justify not giving up their support for a shitty person, and weaponizing their queerness to evade accountability for shitty behaviors.

In my opinion, anybody who says anybody should keep their mouth shut when it comes to issues related to white supremacy, racism, bigotry, etc., is potentially dangerous. If they will try to silence you, then for damn sure they won't think twice about trying to silence us. Because silence is complicity. Silence is what makes the white supremacists' work all the more easy. Silence is the first tool that oppressors use to maintain power and continue oppression. Silence takes away our allies, because a silent ally is no ally.

[basicallyahedgehog]

🙋‍♀️ and 💖!

Hi hi friend! Thank you for these!

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

More people than I would like! My immediate family knows, but have never read any of my writing, and I will keep it that way! In the past it’s come out to a couple of coworkers but that lead to (usually good natured) teasing so I don’t talk about it at work anymore 😂 I have had two irl friends at various times who also wrote hp fanfic and we would bounce ideas and beta for each other so that was fun.

💖 What made you start writing?

Oh boy, I don’t even know! I have a very vague memory of writing a story based on a picture book I’d read - based on the house I was in in the memory I was 7 or younger!

When I was 16 I read all the HP books and somehow had some vague knowledge of fanfic being a thing so I looked it up and read some and I’m not sure how or why but suddenly I was scribbling short fics in a notebook.

I love being creative but really struggle with coming up with original ideas, which is why things like crochet or cross stitch or playing music on the piano are great, because someone else has given me the “instructions” that I can then be creative with. And for me fan fic is the same. I don’t think I’ll ever write original fiction, but I can take existing characters and run with them until the cows come home.

Send me fanfic writer asks!

[bigfanofwomen]

finished playing the nanjo route, here are some of my thoughts on the ending of eternal punishment :3

I barely know where to start. What the fuck am I supposed to say. I think I'll talk about Monado Mandala first.

The dungeon is exactly like what I would imagine it to be. It's great. My head started to hurt after a while though. The puzzles aren't that crazy, I'd say it's straightforward. I couldn't do one of forced battle (probably in the last area), it had stuff to do with spreading rumors and I couldn't bother. Whatever item was in that chest couldn't have been worth it at that point. The OST is eh, gets a bit tiring after a while. The bosses make up for it.

I love that my choices matter so much, I eat this shit up every time but sometimes it messes up my gameplay. Love the shadow scenes so much, they're amazing. Especially Ulala (big fan of her comphet) ugh I gotta talk about them later.

Shadow Ulala and Katsuya were really easy, my setup was:

Maya - Artemis, Ulala - Izanami / Asteria, Tatsuya - Apollo / Tsukiyomi, Baofu - Hastur / Odin, Katsuya - Tishtoriya.

It's the usual endgame setup, set up buffs and use whatever fusion spells that are available and will hit a weakness. Maya is mostly using Crescent Mirror. Same setup used for Shadow Maya and Baofu, but they were way more challenging. I loved these boss fights!

Nyarlathotep's boss fight was ass clenching. Sometimes I had to risk staying with low HP for the damage. Ulala had Mediarahan on Asteria, but she was casting Kamaitachi. Baofu and Maya were open, they didn't have proper heal spells so I used some items... 3 Beads, 1 Bead Chain and 1 Soma. He didn't give us a chance to breathe, I wasn't able to switch personas at any point in the fight. He died to Baofu and Maya reflecting his attack!!? But overall, an amazing final boss. He pisses me off. I had a ton of fun with most bosses in this game. Much more than Innocent Sin. But Innocent Sin is still my favorite out of the two.

Onto the ending. I was expecting Tatsuya to leave or just something awful to happen to him in general. But this is much more hopeful? I was devastated after Innocent Sin, this is much lighter and better for my psyche lol. He's been through it. I *really* can't stand how ATLUS pushes Tatsumaya so much, they put Maya in a love triangle for some reason. That's a lesbian. Anyway, Tatsuya and Maya are siblings to me.

Tatsuya becoming a cop makes me angry, that's all I will say. Good for Baofu and Ulala though!! And Maya's coworker from the start of the game!

This is the part I wanted to talk about. Eikichi, Lisa and Jun showing up at Alaya Shrine again. It's a nice scene, but... I was expecting something more? To see them somewhere outside of Alaya Shrine. I'm gonna be honest, they're repeating the same shit they had said before. But oh well, they make me sick to my stomach (/pos btw, I don't know how else to react to this).

P1 cast reunited!! Was looking forward to this scene. It's adorable. I wish Ayase was here. I wish her character was handled better in P2 lol.

This game will be forever special to me!! My favorite game of all time!! I can't wait to see Elly's route and the EX Dungeon. It's gonna be great.

[halfblood-princes-crown]

Can you please post more :(

Nonnie, I really don’t be knowing what to post

I’m doing these posts about my coworkers opinion on the Snape matter because it came up and I thought y’all would wanna know

But honestly, my HP phase…was a phase.

I’m into other things now and my adhd has gotten worse, I don’t have the mind to sit and just talk on here, and as much as I wanna rant about all of my topics of interest, that’s not what y’all followed me for

I’d hate to change everything y’all are used to, ya know?

When I get material, or an interesting ask, I’ll post

[mizutoyama]

Here's some fanfic writer asks for you 🎢⛔💖😬

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

I'm not sure if it's for the one that I think is the wildest to read or the one that was the wildest to write. Because I can think of two for the latter, and I got that ask twice, let's go for the latter. So, the first story that was a wild ride to write was "A Momentary Lapse of Duty", in which Alice and someone else's OC go to a Pink Floyd concert. Did I know who Pink Floyd was before? Yes, though only by name and that prism illustration that's on nearly every Pink Floyd t-shirt. So to write this fic, which took place at a concert that actually happened, I not only had to do a shit ton of research, but also listen on repeat to the songs Pink Floyd performed during that set. I also managed to find a recording of that show on YouTube... I have never listened to so much Pink Floyd in my life. It was on repeat. I would take notes as I tried to figure out how Alice would react to the various songs and the overall concert experience. To me, this was one hell of a wild ride. And I haven't listened to any Pink Floyd since.

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

If we're talking about a solo fic I started to write but never finished, no, at least not yet. If we're talking about a fic series I started but eventually scrapped... sorta. The Quidditch series is not entirely scrapped, but with this new OC I'm planning to include in Alice's story, I'm planning to rewrite the whole thing. Most likely with the game's characters and my own OCs.

💖 What made you start writing? 

Oh, I feel this requires a multi-part answer.

What made me start writing fics: Wanting to help out my best friend in high school with her English and the fact she was so enthusiastic about my silly little story. This was the very first fic I wrote in the HP fandom, set in the main HP time period. It was written entirely in notebooks. Found them again during the pandemic... Let's just say my English skills have improved since 😅

What made me start writing HPHM fics: Anyone who's played HPHM since Day 1 knows the joys of waiting for a new chapter. The first time I had to wait, that's when I decided to write my first HPHM fic here on Tumblr. Figured writing about my own MC would help me wait for new chapters. Ended up joining the fandom and found great people in it.

What made me start writing for HPHL: Ok, I haven't published anything related to Astraea just yet, still planning (and writing one crack fic), but what made me want to write her story is basically a bunch of "what if...", of "hmm... I don't agree with that", and "that's not how it was during the Victorian era".

TL;DR: I usually start writing because I want to share the story that pops up in my head when I'm exposed to something that makes me think "what if...".

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

All of them? I don't really talk about my fic writing pastime to people in RL.

Thanks for the asks!

[hbprophetie]

Hello. Nothing to do with Snape or HP this time, and I'm sorry to annoy anybody with my feelings right now so please if you don't care about hearing anything a bit personal (and I do not blame anyone for that!), then do not feel any shame in skipping this post! (It's nothing of real importance anyway and I'll continue to make HP related posts!)

(I might delate it latter. I'm not especially super fond of exposing my feelings but if anyone want to talk about it I'll be very happy to do so)

I have very bittersweets and a rather hurting feelings about something, and I thought that maybe it is an experience that has ever happened to someone, and that maybe that someone would know how to cope with it and give me advices. At least, I think it may make me some good to get it out of my chest, even if it's a bit shamefull to expose.

I have been leaving in Japan for about 10 months now because I studied the language in France and had the chance to be able to participate in a cultural exchange. I've been frequenting a University in a little city in countryside called Tenri, made a lot of encounters of peoples from all over the world, with different cultures and languages.

Now the date of my departure is nearing, and while I'm not sure if I'll move back to France or move in Tokyô to find employement, most of my new friends will go back to their own home countries and I will for sure not be going back to Tenri before a very long time.

I'm already very sad about the goodbyes I'll have to do in the next 2 months, knowing that some peoples I'll probably never see again and I shared such incredible experiences with them that I already know how leaving them will be difficult. At least, I know that those feelings will in some great extend be mutual, and that I'll not be alone to be sad to part ways.

But, my biggest apprehension is to say goodbye to the Japanese coworkers, with whom I have been working for a few month as a part time job outside of my studies. I have been working in a Japanese convenient store and while it has arguably been one of the most difficult and challenging experience of my stay in Japan (because of the intensity of the job itself but moreso because of the difficulties of language barrier, both when dealing with clients and my colleagues), it ended up being one of the (if not the) things that brought the more happiness and rewarding feelings in my daily life. This work provided me with a feeling of belonging and some sense of confidence in myself in a moment I felt very isolated and helpless. Now, I realise that in one or two month, it will be over for good. Because this experience was very intense, I developped very strong feelings of loyalty and attachement towards my colleagues, that I know I should rather not have developped. I understand very well that they are unilateral, and that this is very normal because while for me it's an extremely out-of-comfort-zone experience that makes everything unique, for them I'm most probably just another temporary part-time employee - who looks a bit limited and awkward because not being able to apprehend the language perfectly, at that.

Therefore, I feel a big sadness at the idea that the farewell will be very hurting for me but most naturally not for my collegues. Japanese peoples are very kind, but they have a very different way of thinking than wersterners especially when it comes to social relationship and they are very reserved about expressing feelings. Therefore, I don't know if I can tell them what I feel to any extend without causing them uneasiness and maybe incomprehension (because, maybe for them we are not that close - my strong affective response is caused by my own circumstances) - and this is only if I'm able to express my feelings in Japanese, which is one of the most difficult things to do in any other language than your own. I'm very sad about parting ways, that I'll not be bold enough to communicate my gratitude, that this experience may not have real closure and that they might forget about me a few weeks after my departure.

It's not the first time I have to say goodbye, I graduated from schools and said goodbye to close friends and coworkers before. But never to people who live in the other side of the world from where my hometown actually is. This is the first time I have such intense feelings towards it. And some of these feelings I never had before.

It will be alright in the end, but for now I'm affraid about missing opportunities and not having a chance to be honest and sincere.

Is there anyone who ever felt those things, or would have advices of how to deal with it, I wonder.