#my contribution for the timebeing

[shadow-turtle-234]

So, I noticed something, specifically about the Shadows

[2n2n]

ch. 110

brutality, no survivors.... incredible suffering for the girlies (you, me, JP twitter)

and here I thought shenanigans would continue... this promo image was an immediate punch at 6AM

and yet this was all things considered the easy part...? ugh, but... please a moment to drink it in... all of my beliefs in the true power exchange... it's so satisfying to see it like this. it's easy, simple to still Tsukasa, isn't it... towering, presiding older brother.... his joudai trailing... touch your seal... the virtue by which you are kept safe, kept his. Poor Tsukasa. covetous object...!

a rascal....! uhh I love pocket-sanding Akane with old man parts ... amazing technique ahaha, Tsukasa knows how to make people lose focus huh? he's in such a good mood isn't he~ not as resentful as he was towards Mirai pestering him...

mirai explode lol.... I can't say I feel much personally, I guessed she might do this ... it's sweet of her to protect Akane, but I can't think much of it, beyond what it contributes to how we should feel about her. Noble rat after all? not so dumb as Akane had said before?

Mirai holding the yorishiro makes sense, for why she's typically locked in their boundary without any freedom. sure... easy. another key to haunt us! more keys why NOT

I like to see Natsuhiko being cool like this ... ♥

but this is so interesting...

I'm never sure how much Mitsuba really understood about the Broadcast club's greater plans... I wonder if Natsuhiko is being literal here, and Mitsuba DID know what he had to do, but had settled on his suicidal ennui.... ah, having to analyze your life for something precious is grim... he has an issue of not appreciating what he has while he has it, and being unable to state it...

.... and there's nobody to correct him. This is such a manga about... 'reasons'....

among the things even possible.. that poor keychain was destroyed. I wonder if there were a few things going on in Mitsuba's mind even then...

I really like... that mysteries, kaii need something anchoring them... I like that it's not enough, to exist... I like that the body naturally dilapidates, 'wants' to move on or become something else. It's a great metaphor....! In this manga... the most important thing, is loving something. If you don't love something, you can't stay alive. You won't....

I'm still wondering if the original thing Kou gave Mitsuba back in vol. 7 will ever come back around... or if it just gave him a complex or curiosity about the 'old' Mitsuba (who he snoops on in PP after this, so....) ... and can't itself be precious so much as worming...

anyhow... I like this turn of events, but it is so shocking we're stacking handling No. 3 and also No. 1!!!! I can't believe it!!!! IT'S ALL HAPPENINGGGG?????!?!? We haven't stacked mysteries like this before ~~!!!! It's so exciting.... I like Natsuhiko a lot in all of this ♥ I don't know... like with Tsukasa and Mitsuba, I believe him that he found it all charming in its own way, and that he wanted to offer what he could to Mitsuba for the timebeing. It's not as if there are other options, here... Mitsuba... really was never doing the things that needed to be done.... or letting others know what he needed to do.

I suppose Natsuhiko could wake up Kou to watch this if he wanted, but I find it much funnier if Kou just has to wake up at the end of this and Mitsuba is eradicated... lol...

can't say I really understand Teru's position about the mysteries...

you understand the mysteries are a kind of structural pillar for this region, but the pressure that was weighing on Hanako at least seemed to be the Minamoto ... it was that imperative the Broadcast Club's been taking advantage of. The rumors created an excuse to justify the sense of mistrust in the mysteries. But I'll never quite know what Teru is even capable of ... since he shouldn't be able to touch yorishiro ... but directly threatens to exorcize mysteries. Can you have extant yorishiro without the mysteries utilizing them.... ??? Well, I just don't understand it yet.... must put it aside.

back to what really matters...

I love how peaceful, relieved, serene he looks here.... finally, you've been so patient, Tsukasa... every little step of this has taken so long.... holding the last yorishiro in your hands... trusting Amane to handle you, after... it must feel good. The end in sight....

I really love this reach for Amane's knife...

back in this position, are we?

ah.... poor Amane. For a moment... I appreciate what he's trying to do, here. He sounds patient... he sounds like an older brother. Explaining so cleanly...

you want to be sure Tsukasa understands... maybe you think-- he hasn't thought this through, or he doesn't get the consequences, he's being childish, or reckless, maybe he's misunderstood how it happened before ... I love to hear Amane, say something so direct as... won't see you again.... won't be able to save you ... everything he did last time! to ensure... that you wouldn't be apart! the binding of their souls! tying Tsukasa down to him like a ship in a storm! protection, mooring... keeping you, where he can see you! remaining together, at all costs! that's important to you too, right, Tsukasa? don't you want to see each other?

it's as if you're saying you don't want to be together, don't want to be saved... what do we do with people who don't ask you to save them? why must they insist on leaving you behind?

Mitsuba won't ask Kou to save him. Sumire wouldn't ask Hakubo to save her. Aoi didn't want Akane to save her. I wonder if Tsukasa didn't ask Amane to save him, but Amane did it anyway... her certainly wasn't asking for a hero in the Red House, or to live on coming back.

it's a kind of rejection, isn't it? When someone is so ambivalent about the life you love so much... the life you want with them... it's as if they're saying, "I don't want to be with you enough to live for you."

Of course, every time, they're really saying ... "I just don't know what I mean to you." Mitsuba doesn't feel valuable to Kou; only a replacement, a reminder of something he once cared about. Best to give up. Sumire imagined Hakubo was only placating her, and could only wish not for his earnest sadness, but for him to pretend to be sad for her. Best to let death happen. and Aoi didn't feel Akane knew the real her, imagined he would reject the real Aoi, only in love with his grand projection of her. Best to step away now.

Of course, Tsukasa thought his brother hated him, so...

It all feels so simple and logical! It's saving trouble, right?

Amane made such a gesture last time... in their shinjuu... he tried, he really tried, to say something ... to Tsukasa.

but, the message didn't go through...

but I can only be so sympathetic to Amane, as he's an incredible hypocrite. Of course, Amane has put Nene-chan through everything Tsukasa puts him through.

You also try to grant your beloved a wish for a future that explicitly doesn't involve you, and make her feel rejected, abandoned, given no choice...

Amane...

oh, Yugi twins....

.... why can't you understand when you're precious? Why can't you understand how bad it hurts, to abandon somebody? Amane-chan really suffered without you, Tsukasa. You're always the one leaving him, and getting to feel sacrificial about it. He's trying to tie you down....

.... it's a natural response... to lash out. Rejected... misunderstood... abandoned... why is Tsukasa asking you to give up on him? Why can't he understand, even with that seal on his cheek... even as you died with him....

兄の思いは届かず…

I really love that for the chapter's end.

Amane's feelings never did reach Tsukasa. It wasn't understood, what he had tried to do, his sadness now. But... Amaneeeee....

maybe you could use a taste of your own medicine....

we think we know just how to make someone else's wish come true, don't we?

isn't it such an insult! WHY!!!!!! """"WHY""""""??????

..... I'm out of images, so I'll continue in a reblog, for a couple more thoughts I'm having ....

but for this post... ahhhh. It's unbelievable we're at least starting to tackle... this. I feel bad for Amane, I really do... I feel bad for Tsukasa, too. It's hard to not hurt someone you love ... in an attempt to only hurt yourself. If we hurt ourselves, we hurt the thing our lover adores ... we spit on their love for us.

I can understand why and how Amane can say "I hate you" ... to Tsukasa. As much as Akane could childishly say it to Aoi ... and you know, it is that same unimaginable love which makes it possible. Years of familiarity, it makes you more liable to lash out. There is such a greater sense of betrayal, when you've expended so much effort... when you try so hard for someone... when you're in so much pain about them....! After all I've done... you CAN'T say this or that to me.... etc, etc! Those intense emotions... can make you feel entitled, to never be hurt... you can't hurt me, after all I've hurt for you!

and I do think it's being said extremely childishly... daikirai... he's just, unable to be any more constructive with his feelings, he's so... hurt, mad. As much as Nene-chan is so mad, hearing Hanako spit on all of her efforts she made to reach him... BIG SLAP!!!

Amane, he's maybe endured 50 years of effort and an awful lot of physical suffering for Tsukasa, and it's not gotten through... wwww! I'm sorry, I'm worried Tsukasa might have a PROFOUND amount of suicidal urge. Might be an uphill battle, Amane... you might just need to save Tsukasa because you are selfish, and you want him for yourself. There might be no easier reason ... to keep him by your side. We can't make Tsukasa beg to stay with you... but you won't beg him to stay, will you? I think that would actually do a lot of good, Amane... but you really won't do that....

meanwhile, I love the juxtaposition of Nene-chan's incredibly childish DAI DAI DAISUKIII and this daikirai lol... we all have big feelings don't we lol....! well...

[mattanzamfedora]

Drawn for me by @helihi for my upcoming fanfiction, Buffy's Fluffy One-Shots here’s Buffy x Rurumu's winter walks in Winchester! Inspired by the content of this article in www.digitalspy.com/tv/ustv/a34… - I decided it could be a chance to experiment with my writing for different characters, as it shows that whilst the writers haven't done much with Buffy beyond a one-night stand with another Slayer in Season 8, they've proven she isn't exactly “straight”. If you have any ideas for what you'd want to see and wish to talk shop, send me a note. NO NSFW, ALL CHARACTERS MUST BE LEGAL AGE OF CONSENT. Also, for the sake of contributing to other ships, I've decided to omit any Spuffy or Bangel fics for the timebeing, and of the two of them, I'm a Spuffy shipper. Franchises and their characters ships I'll consider include:

Buffy - Tara Maclay, Willow Rosenberg, Lilah Morgan,  -

Marvel/Avengers/X-Men - Storm, Jean Grey, She-Hulk, Captain Marvel, Kitty Pryde, Black Widow, -

She-Ra - Adora/She-Ra, Angella, Castaspella, Mermista, Perfuma, Scorpia -

DC - Wonder Woman, Zatanna - Fairy Tail - Cana Alberona -

Harry Potter - Fleur, Luna, Narcissa, Andromeda, Nymphadora Tonks, - Magi: The Adventures of Sinbad (Rurumu.)

RWBY - Yang Xiao Long, Blake Belladonna, Pyrrha Nikos, Winter Schnee, Willow Schnee, Elm Ederne, Saphron Cotta-Arc, Terra Cotta-Arc, Jinn, Raven Branwen, Summer Rose, Kali Belladonna,  -

The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Isabelle Lightwood, Maryse Lightwood, Magnus Bane, Tessa Gray -

My Hero Academia - Midnight - Avatar: Legend of Korra - Korra, Asami, Suyin, Kya - Bleach - Rangiku, Isane, Nanao, (possibly Rukia) - Xena: Warrior Pirncess - Xena, Gabrielle,  -

[howieblogposts]

Coronavirus Pandemic Log 6

We held a feast on the Eve of Return. BBQ pulled pork, bacon-wrapped steak, grilled aspragus, blueberry pie, lemonade, watermelon, and potatoes au gratin. It was delicious, and we all contributed to the work of making it. We agreed to clean the dieshes once we got back from our venture to the local ER for Rookie’s stomach problem. [By the way, he did not stop drinking until the moment we left]. 

Things were more normal than I expected. We wore bandanas initially and planned to switch to gas masks once we got the ER, but everybody else was only wearing the masks. We get to the ER and Rookie’s got a bad fuckin ulcer.

Fuck. I was hoping it would be something that would keep him hospitalized for a while. Instead it was somethin that’s just gonna make him constantly whine and cause trouble. Dale recommended he go home and start relaxing and sobering up. At that moment, I realized that Rookie had come to the Fallout Shelter with the express intent of treating it as One-Big Party, and Dale had probably told him that just to get someone else up at the Shelter. Rookie asked us to drive him home. He was real quiet on the drive and then, when we were almost back to Shelter, he goes: “It tseems like things are gettin back to normal for the timebeing right now. I’m gonna head back home soon, but I need to wait out a bit more time at the Shelter.”

Now Rookie is back and refusing to do his portion of the dishes [or anything else], bceause he’s “in recovery.” Dale’s being a real spineless prick abou tthe whole thing, offering to do half the dishes himself. I steadfastly refused to do more than my 1/3 share. Now that we’ve been back for awhile the dirty dishes are filling the sink, with the oldest dishes becoming polluted with rotten food. IN PROTEST, ,I put up a sign that said “Eventually, someone is going to have to do these motherfucking dishes.” Then Dale just did them, and was like “I just got stoned and felt like doing ‘em.”

I was glad the dishes were done, but it’s like giving attention to a dog that’s beggin for attention, it teaches him all the wrong behavior. Then Rookie decided to have a “food therapy” session and made like fifty dirty dishes that he now refuses to clean because some of the food he ate “actually made the ulcer more painful.”

My sign remains up, and my anger remains unremedied.

[cantujordan91]

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[allollipoppins]

As promised before, I bring you my first contribution to the Yuuri Harem Villain AU, starting with a Yuuri/Eros one-shot :D As it is currently midnight here and I’m kinda beat, I’ll most probably edit this post later so to link it to my other websites and so on. This is dedicated to my muse @yuuriharemheadcanons and to you lovely people who were kind enough to accompany me through the process of writing this. This was non-betaed and largely written/edited in a hurry (cue the sucky ending - bear with me, I haven’t written or published since forever ^^’). Feel free to comment and send me feedback!

***

“I thought we’d agreed that you wouldn’t jump from the top of buildings.”

“And I thought we’d agreed that you wouldn’t do that either.”

Yuuri has enough strength left to snort at the man’s reply. Trust Eros to sass him half dead on his feet, soaked to the bone and blood gushing from wounds he couldn’t diagnose, hidden under wet leather and lace.

“How can you still have enough energy to sass me when you’re the one injured?”

Eros shrugged. “I’ve had worse before. That’s  fine by me.”

Yuuri repressed the need to scream, unsure whether to be more frustrated or angry at Eros’ carelessness.

How had they even come to this?

It had happened too fast for him to even register what was going on. One moment he was battling his opponent, edging closer to a side of the roof he couldn’t see, and the other Yuuri couldn’t feel the ground under his feet nor air in his lungs. He barely had time to register he was falling before a pair of arms wrapped around him, holding him in a tight grip, swiftly rotating him so he wasn’t facing the sky anymore.

The next second, they were colliding with the ground, Eros landing on his back and Yuuri somehow getting away with scratches on his side and possibly his face. He wondered briefly how he would explain those to Celestino on Monday morning.

And then he registered blood was oozing from under Eros’ head, and his mind went blank.

They stumbled inside the apartment, dragging each other’s weight until they both crashed in the living room, landing on the couch.

Yuuri raised himself with difficulty, leaning over Eros who had closed his eyes and looked a shade paler than usual. The bleeding had stopped, but Yuuri still worried given Eros’ complexion.

“Wait here, will you? I’ll go get us some towels and bandages”. Eros grunted affirmatively. Yuuri made his way to the bathroom – not without stealing a few glances back at Eros to make sure he was alright. He probably wouldn’t go anywhere given his state, but Yuuri wouldn’t start betting on that too soon. Months spent in his company didn’t make Eros any less unpredictable.

Yuuri groped blindly at the wall, reaching for the switch with only his knowledge of the apartment as a counterpart for his lack of contacts or glasses. The sudden light made him squint, its sharp glare almost made him trip backwards. Slowly coming back to his senses, he set out to find th necessary equipment.

In his quest to the bathroom to find towels for both of them and his medical kit, the mirror sent back his disfigured reflection. Despite his lack of contacts, the blurry patches of dirty white meddled with runny crimson and black lines were enough to guess he looked like a mess. Yuuri might as well have auditioned for Pennywise the clown in his current attire and gotten the part. Thankfully, no one had been around to witness the pair he and Eros made on their way back home. At least he hoped so.

“Christ” he swore, taking in his full appearance. If Georgi could see him now, he’d be getting a tongue lashing just for getting his makeup ruined, nevermind the costumes.

That could wait though. For the timebeing, Eros was his priority.

Eros waited for him slumped on the floor, visibly too tired to pull himself back up on the couch. At the sight of his rather miserable-looking companion half drowsing and wetting the carpet, Yuuri sighed. He debated whether he should leave the man on the floor right where he was or move him. Ultimately he settled on the latter, placed the towels on the low table in front of him and bent up to his companion’s level.

“Let’s move you, yeah? You’re wetting the living room”.

Eros finally opened his eyes, sluggishly batting his eyelashes and glancing up at the sound of Yuuri’s voice. Yuuri tried to smile at him, but only managed to grimace.

“Sorry. I must be a fright.”

“It’s no problem”, Eros muttered in a sleepy voice.

“Let me see your wounds.” Without further prompting, Yuuri proceeded to unzip his costume. Eros complied easily and left his master to work, sitting still. Out of context, Yuuri would probably have laughed out loud at the strangeness of their predicament. As a general rule – if “rule” was even the right term –,  Yuuri never laid his hands on Eros or made a move to remove his clothes. Eros always took the lead for him. To have the situation reversed usually brought unease; as bold as Yuuri could be at times, he’d found that he prefered it when Eros took initiatives by himself when they were alone, intimately speaking.

When he managed to completely peel the wet leather off Eros, taking time to remove it without inflicting further damage, he took in the extent of Eros’ wounds. He had scrapes running along his back, thankfully not profound enough to need stitches, but visible enough to tell he would need to be thoroughly bandaged. Eros would have scars, but like any previous injury he’d sustained, they wouldn’t last long.

Yuuri’s eyes drifted to his sides. While he had expected at least a few marks, the skin was bare and untainted. Turned out Eros had naturally started his healing process long ago, probably straight after they’d landed on the pavement. The rest of him was just fine, he assessed. Still, for a second he thought of reaching out and brushing his fingers against Eros’ skin, just in case. One could only be so superhuman for long. He’d find the sore spots to nurse, visible bruises and hidden places he would only need to press lightly in order to elicit a reaction from Eros.

Yuuri shook his head, mentally cursing himself for getting distracted in such a moment.

He started to clean Eros, lightly wiping away water and sweat with the towels, and then wrapping it around his shoulders. He then dropped some drops of disinfectant on the cotton balls, and proceeded to treat his back wounds. Upon feeling the sting against his back, Eros jumped forward, stepping as far away from Yuuri’s hand as he could.

“Behave,” Yuuri growled without much bite, too tired to properly chastise Eros.

Eros moaned a little, but made no further complaint, probably sensing his master’s weariness. He sat back down, and gritted his teeth against the renewed burn of alcohol on his open wounds. Yuuri tried to dab them as carefully as possible, noticing how hard Eros was fighting not to fidget under the cotton balls.

This is new, he mused silently as he put the cotton balls away and reached for the burn ointment inside his box, pouring some on the tip of his finger. Eros didn’t use to be so sensitive to touch. When he touched Eros again, this time making direct contact with his skin without fabric between their skins, he could physically sense the other man tensing under his fingers, but making an effort to  repress his discomfort. There was no heartbeat under his fingers.

How strange, really. Up to now, Yuuri had only thought of Eros as this otherwordly, superhuman being incapable of feeling even the smallest human emotion, whether it be physical or psychological. At least he’d thought as much the first time they officially met – the image of a reckless hunter, face devoid of expression haunted Yuuri during the last semester of his first year in Detroit. A nameless monster who wore his face and carried himself with enough grace to make a kill look like a work of art.

This first encounter left Yuuri beyond shaken. It later took a panicked call to Japan to get direct confirmation from his cheery, though confused mother to conclude that Yuuri was – and remained – to this day their only son and the sole sibling of Mari Katsuki. Not a single twin in the picture.

Besides, the odds of him encountering someone who shared his features were rather low. Hypothetically, six to seven people had a face similar to his somewhere on the planet. But still – finding such a person in Detroit, the very city where he had lived for the past months and struggled to find himself. The then freshman’s wild brain went overdrive, making him shudder at the idea that such a person could potentially be from an entirely different world.

The meetings that followed, official presentations and all did little to ease his mind. More often than not, Yuuri found himself unwillingly running into his doppelganger – or were these chance meetings purely coincidences? And further examination later, Yuuri decided that there was no way Eros and him were even remotely alike. While the similarity between their faces remained undeniable, Eros lacked Yuuri’s soft features and curves. His soft skin stretched on slender limbs, no hint of fat visible, highlighting the proeminent cheekbones and shapely figure that contrasted with Yuuri’s hourglass body and round cheeks.

Differences didn’t stop there. One could also point out the striking contrast between both of their personalities. Where Yuuri was shy and tended to be very expressive, Eros was the king of bitch faces. His stiffness and lack of response to any situation had initially frightened Yuuri. But somehow the sociopath’s cold demeanour peeled away whenever the other was present – or at least he tried. Having a non-existent social life made Eros less empathetic to people’s feelings (not that he actually met any), and yet he and Yuuri shared a connection that went beyond words.

He supposed it might have truly begun when he baptized Eros. And Lord, giving Eros a name before finally settling on his current one had proved to be tedious, if only because he sounded strangely adamant on being treated like a slave.

“Dog” sounded like an insult, and a personal offence towards Vicchan. “Puppet” gave Yuuri a guilty conscience. As his interactions with the doppelganger became more frequent, so did his hyperactivity. The tranquility he usually seeked in his apartment after a long day at work was quickly shattered by an excited Eros, who didn’t miss a chance to jump on him whenever he came back home. This, combined with the blinding smile he reserved for Yuuri, had instantly reminded him of a puppy. So he settled on”Pup”, or “Pet” whenever the mood was appropriate.

As for Eros, it took Yuuri some more reflection, and a college assignment on the theme of love. He’d found something exciting in the nameback then; and as such, it could only fit the man who now bore it. In his eyes, Eros mirrored his divine counterpart: he oozed sexuality from head to toe, and was a walking contradiction; a man capable of the best and the worst, both in life and in his bed, the offspring of Love and War that never quite leaned towards a side of the battlefield nor stood in the middle. Eros was an endless maze of grey closing onto Yuuri by the minute, as he tried to escape his clutches while knowing he’d get caught anyway.

Eros knew him well – too well in fact. It both unnerved and comforted him to know that someone out there was able to see past his half-hearted reassurances and cold facade. Yuuri couldn’t remember the last time he had opened up to someone like that. With Yuuko busy with her triplets and his own family taking care of the onsen back in Hasetsu, the only impression left was that if he tried to break through their tranquility he would shatter everything; bring back unwanted memories and unnecessarily worry them over matters that were truly obsolete and exagerrated. Thinking out loud, feigning to talk with Vicchan when his beloved companion probably didn’t get a word of what he said didn’t ease his troubles either. They opened old wounds that sent him back to his childhood home in Hasetsu, blindly staring back at the stranger whose poster he’d just disfigured in the darkness.

And yet…

Somewhere in time, at a moment he couldn’t exactly pinpoint, Eros has turned into a permanent fixture. Now that they had settled in a routine, life without Eros seemed unconceivable. Yuuri had given in to him reluctantly at first, attributing it to nerves and an unconscious need for closeness that he had repressed for so long since his arrival in Detroit.

Eros held many of Yuuri’s firsts. First real friend, first comfortable conversations, first kiss, first touches…only to name a few.

With Eros by his side, he somehow became more self-assured. In the beginning of their partnership of sorts, with Yuuri slowly making his own assertiveness as a vigilante, the “clone” complimented his appearance, deciding that his master’s chubby parts went well with his disguise. Put in that way, generally with lackluster words and a stoic expression, Yuuri was offended the first times. He was past his teenage self-consciousness, but being reminded that he wasn’t as thin as he desired remained a sensible point. Eros had only grown better with time, and Yuuri had become bolder.

“Good boy,” he cooed softly, caressing the other man’s cheek in reward for his good behaviour. This development had come as a surprise as well. While Eros had rapidly taken to Yuuri like a fish to water, Yuuri had needed more time to get used to the other man’s presence in his life.

Not that Eros had helped in any way. From their first official meeting, his shadow called him by other names than his own, generally “Master” or “My king” among many terms of… endearment.

Eros leaned into his touch, eyelids fluttering and drooping slightly. He often reminded the Japanese man of an animal, more of a feline nature than a canine one like his Vicchan; Yuuri wouldn’t be surprised if Eros suddenly decided to purr in response to his ministrations.

“Let’s move you to the bed, shall we? You must be tired after today.”

“’M not tired,” Eros muttered against his hand, but there was no mistaking the tiredness in his voice. Yuuri merely smiled tenderly at him as he placed one arm under his knees and the other under his arms, and lifted him. Eros laid his head on his shoulder, glancing up at him with a similar smile on his face, albeit strained from the hectic day. Yuuri held his eyes until they reached the master bedroom, and moved his arm slightly so to move the covers, and place Eros delicately on the mattress. The latter automatically latched onto the pillow under his head, burying himself under the duvet and rolling into fetal position. Yuuri chuckled lowly. Yep, definitely a feline.

He was on his way back to the living room to grab a towel to dry himself, but felt something tug at his sleeve.

Yuuri turned. Eros had grabbed him by the tip of his fingers, and was now looking up at him with an almst pleading way. “Will you hold me, Yuuri?” Eros whispered almost inaudibly to Yuuri in his sleepy state, but he was close enough to hear him.

Yuuri exhaled. He desperately needed to get out of his wet clothes, and into a warm shower, but he was practically too tired to function properly, and the sight of Eros in such a dishevelled state was too endearing to ignore. He must have been truly drained if he could only call him by his real name.

Yuuri sighed, defeated from a battle he wouldn’t have won anyway. He pulled himself out of his shirt and pants, only keeping his boxers on, and slipped under the warm covers.

“As if you needed to ask,” he whispered back, rolling towards the warmth of his bed partner who instantly wrapped his arms around him, head pressed where Yuuri’s heart was. He pressed a small kiss on the top of Eros’ head, inhaling the scent of rain and their shared shampoo, and let himself drift to sleep alongside his companion.

[survivorinternational]

Episode 4 - "We get to form the narrative" - Patrick

I lost my two closest allies I am pissed. Vilma come home (Ginger too I guess). I do NOT trust Clash and Allan those people will backstab at moment's notice I am FUCKED

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So tribe split is 3-2-2. Logically if the 2 other tribes will work together and uh take us out. And uhh I have def been the biggest impression person. And uhh merge is decently soon so maybe they use that as a reason. My predictions have been correct so far but how about not this time? :) 

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Goal is to beat Vilma in the scavenger hunt

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hosts' mean making me doubt my life 

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I really want to make merge so I'll actually get my game on I guess. I'll throw Allan and Clash under the bus if I must. I'll do my best to befriend these people as part of my game because all other friendships are fake as we know. So far I'm trying to get with the aussie gang. Yanks will burn 

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I am slightly less mad about the swap now. But it's for personal reasons. Here are the power rankings of my new tribemates: - SluggyG - Stephen - Pat - Randy. Randy and I don't seem to click sadly.

Just like our tribe predicted there was a tribe swap and i ended up being in a tribe of 7 with 2 people from my previous tribe - Stephen and me. Having Stephen here is honestly great because although we didn't look like we were a pair in the old ala mai, we actually were and made a solid 2 man alliance before tribal council. I also told him about how Jacob and Michael were playing in the middle to gain some trust and so I believe we're tight. Every step from here on out is crucial to our game. We need to take out faatasi, there's two ala mai and two salaotoga (however u spell it), we just need to make sure we are together as a 4. 

I hate swaps, when zwooper did its first 40 person swap survival game, my social and strategic game at the first stage was perfect. I was aligned with everyone. Once the swap came all of my allies disappeared to the other tribe and I flopped BADLY ! 

FINALLY WAS PUT ON A TRIBE WITH VILMA! I HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY THE SURVIVOR GODS! hehe. anyway. for real though, love this new tribe. my analysis of each person: liana: of all my old tribe mates, I wanted to be with her the least. but it's fine I guess. she's nice, I'm just not close with her. if the tribe wants to vote her out I'd do it. vilma: amazing active queen goddess mOM she told me she's heard good things about me and was saying in her host chat that she wanted to be on a tribe with me this whole time and GIRL me too!!!!!!!! I want her to be my closest ally I adore her. she's also a great challenge help! I truly don't think we'll lose this scavenger hunt because we have some hard workers on our tribe like her ginger: very sweet!! I love her. I think we'll align. she mentioned how she liked how many girls were on this tribe and to that I say hell yeah - we love some girl power! she's somewhat of a weird texture but like a lot of emotion gets lost when typing? lots of people sound bland to me? but she's cute and been talking to me a lot today! I appreciate her tyler: I'm like low key scared of him for some reason I remember watching him in a game a while while back and he was like so mean?? so I'm hoping he's not mean anymore? or if he is mean that he isn't mean to ME like pls like me? but also he kinda gives off a I am scared of women and only like men vibe......... uh idk? jacob: okay I love him he's so sweet! interesting that he got the 1 vote from the ala mai tribal - kind of shows he's more or less in the bottom of the ala mai bunch so maybe I can infiltrate that and make him a good ally for me going forward! he said tribal was hard because everyone was pretty active and got along. so it seems he thinks the tribe is all big and happy - maybe he's not in any alliances? who knows michael: barely talked to him tbh. but idk how much I really like him? seemed really good in the w4 c9 challenge so ???? maybe he'll be good challenge help and someone to look out for at merge. I also feel like he and tyler would be good allies together. so yeah. that's just a hunch based off of their personalities overall: I have hope that my tribe won't flop and HOPEFULLY we will win these upcoming challenges!! and I'm going to pull my mother fucking weight so they know I'm good in challenges and that they should keep me if they don't want to go to tribal! I really really really do not think randy will do anything in the scavenger hunt LMAO like no tea no shade I don't think I remember him doing anything in mongolia and he's in four fucking games. also never goes out of his house. so it's like we're a tribe of seven vs a tribe of six? lmao let's hope!! 

God I am really not photogenetic, really don't like how I come off in videos but oh well what can you do. I used to struggle with my looks but honestly I really like how I look nowadays. Issue now is manerisms :/ Slowly but surely. Hope you enjoyed this deep dive into the psyche of Veni 

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I am going out with friends today to go all over town in search of hopefully doing really well in the scavenger hunt. I can do almost everything, the ones that are doubtful are all the DVDs, the book, the airplane and the sandcastle. I might build a sandcastle. I wanna build a sandcastle. 

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Man I really miss Vilma the more days pass. Some people are just a drag to talk to and now I can't share my determination for the challenge with anyone. It is disheartening 

Tribe Swap: Well It was bound to happen, at least I got swapped into a tribe with possibly my 2 closest allies in Tyler and Jacob. Vilma is also on this tribe, I'm thinking we might be able to use her as a target due to how strong she is in challenges and that we wouldn't want to take her to merge. I have spent some time cultivating new relations with Emily and Vilma, Chatted a little with Ginger and now trying to chat with Liana. Need to find out where votes are going. Immunity Challenge: Why are the big challenges like this when Im at work for most of the time. I can get most of these selfies and videos, unfortunately I wont be able to get to a Zoo, Beach or Airport for some of these points :( Flags apparently don't exist in South Australia either... WTF?!?! A bit concerned with amount of black spaces in out hunt, hopefully during the night it will pick up again. Time zones are making it difficult to chat with people, but I will continue to try :D 

So you would be thinking that with a tribe swap you'd have a breath of fresh air meeting new people and having challenges in a new environment, it's actually quite the opposite. In this challenge so far only 3 out of 7 people have pulled their weight which is why we're likely to head to tribal sooner than we think. Having NA people on your tribe is so different because I'm 12 hours ahead of them, I sleep when they wake up, they sleep when I wake up. 

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I must move forward with some sort of plan even though I'm trying to take it round at a time, Stephen and I aren't going anywhere. Originally I wanted Veni gone seeing he's a threat and could go back to OG Faatasi at the merge. But after thinking about it, he's a THREAT. He's the meat shield that I need to get further in this game - if I work with him, even at the merge, the target will be on him and all the heat will be of me (unless he wins immunity). EITHER WAY (dnnyys says that a lot) there are more pros keeping Veni around till merge - doing well in challenges, having someone to talk to, plus veni is also part of the old community Michael, Jacob and I are in so if we all make it to merge something may happen? That's a maybe but the idea is keep Veni and gain his trust and his loyalty. He seems fine taking out anyone who isn't contributing so we'll just do that for the timebeing.

I am really sweating right now hopefully my tribemates actually post points. If not hopefully they don't vote me out as a challenge threat and keep me around. 

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Pat is rising in my power rankigs. Seems like a really chill dude with a heart for trying stuff. 

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Allan and Clash are being kinda bad at talking to me. I want to stick with them but bleh. I don't know.. 

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Pat is my #1 in the power rankings

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Well I can't blame anyone specifically. And I got beat by 1 point by 2 differnet people. This is rather depressing.

This tribe is so much more inactive than Ala Mai... also we’re gonna lose this challenge. Sluggy says he wants to work with the US guys to take out the EU guys, but I’m thinking the opposite, for several reasons. First is the europeans timezone is closer to ours, so we have more time to talk. Another is the europeans are more active and social in general, and better in challenges. Finally.... I just don’t trust Sluggy, hes hard to read, he seems to be hard to work with cause he won’t let go of ideas :/ For now I’m gonna bide my time, see what develops, but if the opportunity to work with the europeans comes up Im definitely gonna consider it.

Um so this vote is gonna be real messy trust me I want to do sluggy but it might be Veni or randy and I honestly don’t know... I just hope whatever is done is done for the best and I stay safe 

Winning the challenge is great, but the lack of communication coming from Ginger and Liana is a little annoying. They seem to be very inactive, whereas Emily and Vilma are amazing. I actually like this tribe more than the original Ala Mai. I feel like Vilma and Emily were a good trade for Stephen and Sluggy. Sluggy and Stephen were great and reliable, but Vilma and Emily are more active and seem to have a much more bubbly personality. 

Things are looking alright this vote. I will have to betray someone either way so that sucks. I am bad @ Randy though for the 6 points. 

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I believe the current plan is, EU and AUS/Sluggy unite against Pat and Randy. In case of idol we split the votes 3-2-2. 3 being on Randy. 

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I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge

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So like genuinely I really like Pat Sluggy and Stephen more than the rest of tribe in terms of working together and such but like, the OG tribe lines are really bugging me. If I at some point vote out Allan or Clash then I lose potential trust from Ginger and Vilma maybe and definitely from Allan/Clash depending whoever goes. I want to tell Pat the alleged plan so I really hope it does not backfire. I am uncertain yet. 

So we expectedly lost the challenge and now we have to go to tribal. Stephen and I are in the middle of the OG Faatasi and OG Salotaoga (is that how you spell it?). Anyways my original plan was to go for the europeans because if we get small in numbers the europeans can as a force of 3 pick us off, but now because of what happened in the challenge and Randy's performance people like Stephen and Veni wanna vote Randy off. I've made my case to Stephen and it really comes to a cost benefit analysis for him and I and I'm honestly looking at it from a long term point of view, hope it pays off.

Getting bad vibes from the vote. I mean honestly as long as it's not me go nuts

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I am really struggling with what information to give to people

today i went to counseling then ate a biscuit for lunch. and i want to host a bachelorette org. nothing is happening in the game tho because guess what MY TRIBE WONNNNNNNN THE CHALLLLLLENGGGGEEEEEEEEEE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i love this tribe because we can actually win things and people actually talk to me :-) also i shared my idol guesses with vilma & liana and they shared back. either way i think it’s already found. i just wanna find the spot that it’s at ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just so i know know know for sure

This week has been very interesting. Coming with randy was exactly what I wanted so that I know I could trust my old tribemate and he’ll vote with me no problem. I just hosted a game with clash in it and we clicked instantly and both had the same excited energy when coming into this tribe and seeing each other. Me him and randy have all formed an alliance and then also have another alliance including Allan, whom I enjoy a lot, we’re planning an attack on veni/sluggy tonight because Veni is playing to hard too fast and it’s super obvious. He’s also super close with vilma (who I already perceived as a massive threat) and ginger. So voting out veni prevents Veni from going back to those two and telling them everything that happened. We get to form the narrative 

Okay so I have a lot to talk about and very little time to do so, let's get into it: So at the start of this week (after immunity) Us Europeans decided it would be a good idea to team up with the Australians and get Randy out. However, my first issue came up with Sluggy said he had to "check with Veni and Stephen". That immediately set off alarm bells with me because why would Sluggy have to check with Veni?? Then, Veni brings up some plan to split the votes in case of an idol. Splitting the votes seemed like the dumbest idea I'd heard of and everything started to sound suspicious af so Clash and I got together and decided to work with the Americans to make sure we would be safe. While we're doing all this, Veni makes about 4 alliances (All without me) promising final 2's and stuff. I'm honestly so done with him so we've all (hopefully) decided to vote him out. If I'm wrong then I guess my game is tanked but right now I feel good. 

So the name of this round is “Is Veni a Snakey-Snake?” The answer is yes. Clash tells me he has alliances with everyone, so we’re gonna vote him out. Gonna double check my facts first tho 

Hello this stupid european freak thinks he can outplay the greatest america player in history aka me so im just j chilling in this tribe when we swapped. and like this aussie sluggy rat comes to me and is like "american and aussies work together" and i said ok cool. and then i went on inactive mode because i didnt want to talk to anybody. then we had an immunity challenge and i didnt compete at all for it practically because i hated the challenge! but nobody else did stellar so it didnt matter. so we lost immunity, i get told real quick by pat and clash that the europeans want 3 votes on me while aussies do 2 votes on pat. we wanted to mix that up so originally we were going to vote together as 3 and just take Slugg out. But then we added Allan so we had four votes Then veni decides to heat up  his fucking crack pipe and take 4 hits before messaging me. Telling me things like "pats getting out, fix it" and "hey  i really trust you! hopefully you make merge". like stupid shady shit that doesnt look good so i g o to the alliance and i said vote veni out now we're about to go to tribal and we're going to see if the american brat gets his way. wish me luck

For those who think I wasted an idol I technically did but remember I just woke up to hear my name that Veni, my second closest ally in the tribe wants me gone and is rallying others to vote me off, so if Veni had Pat and Randy and got one more to flip I would have definitely gone home. It was definitely scary and I'm not afraid to admit I was scared and shaking in front of my computer, but I made up my mind about playing it since half an hour before tribal so. I guess now is the real test to see if I can make it further in the game without any sort of extra protection on my back, but Veni was a sneaky guy despite being not fluent in his speaking.

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Veni a huge threat is gone when I wanted to take him to the merge to use as a shield but that didn't work. That goes to show how important it is to make sure you're not playing hard in the first few parts of the game, but timing is really key in this game, and i gotta pick the right timing to strike and when to back off.

Woooohoo! We wonn!! I'm so happy to have a night off. I am loving this tribe switch and have liked everyone I have talked to so far. I think we just got the power tribe both with challenges and socially. Emily actually shared where she has searched for an idol with me so we could cover more ground. It makes me sus of maybe her and someone else working together on Saratoga. (although maybe they were all just social flops) I'm still really happy I found an idol on the first try because I feel like I look semi inactive (always working) so no one would suspect it would be me who has the idol. My plan is to maybe blame Ruthie? Idk i haven't thought it through yet, but she definitely seems like someone who would find an idol first. Anyway my lying has already started because I told Emily how frustrating it is to have so many combinations to make it seem like I don't have it.

Uhhhhh so we swapped. Immediately I was excited to be on a tribe with Emily, because I've heard she's super nice and people were absolutely right she really is!!!! I like everyone on my new tribe to be fair, but I'm kinda spooked because Ginger is the only og Faatasi who swapped with me and I've been performing fairly well in challenges so I'm scared I will be targeted fast if I end up going to tribal with these guys. I'm glad Ginger and I have a good relationship though, plus he is super social (unlike me) so hopefully he can help me in that regard and use his social skills to build new bonds. Obviously I'm trying my best to do that too but I'm not too convinced in my ability to succeed at that. It's just a lot. I'm too introverted all I wanna do is keep to myself and hide in my cave even though I know that's not smart. I've chatted some with everyone though and they all seem nice.... But yeah I could definitely step up my social game some. Emily and I have been sharing our idol guesses and Ginger told me he is becoming close with Tyler and Emily... We'll see how things develop from here. Personally I've enjoyed talking to Emily and Michael the most. Plus Michael seems to be quite a challenge threat as well, I'm hoping he would like to keep me in as his shield. That's what I'm gonna try to pitch for at least, if we ever end up in tribal. We won the scavenger hunt challenge which was neat because I love scavenger hunts. I went all out in the challenge ONCE AGAIN and tbh we need to talk about my threat level in a bit but first let's have a Moment of Silence for my NUMBER ONE ALLY VENI WHO GOT VOTED OUT ON FAATASI AND I'M VERY UPSETTI SPAHGETTI. :'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''( VENI ROBBED HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT. I'm so shocked even Clash and Allan turned on him and I NEED SOME EXPLANATIONS. I'm dying to know what happened there. I really wonder if Faatasi threw the challenge to get rid of him, but Sluggy played his idol though, so he must have thought for real there was a chance he was going home tonight?? That's what confuses me. But it's cool to know he had the og Ala Mai idol and it confirmed my suspicions that it had already been claimed thanks to all the reward challenge clues they got. I wonder if it will be rehidden now though... Doesn't hurt to try and search anyway, I guess? But yeah let's talk about the fact how screwed I am if I ever go to tribal with this tribe. Veni going was definitely a reality check for me, and now I feel super uncertain about my own position in the game. For some reason everyone and their mother seems to think I'm a big threat and I guess it's mostly due to me performing well in challenges and that SUCKS. Because music videos and scavenger hunts happen to be my two favorite challenges and I simply don't know how to hold myself back when it comes to them. Dennis asking me the threat question at first tribal plus the judges hyping me up in the music video challenge definitely didn't help my case either ugh ily guys but I'm in TROUBLE. KAJSHDKAHF. But to be fair I've always done middle tier / poorly in flash game challenges, I feel like my challenge threat status isn't completely accurate. Most of the immunity challenges so far have been those kind where those who put in the most effort have been rewarded (Music videos, The 24 hour challenge, Scavenger hunt). I've done well in those because 1. I happen to love 66% of those challenges and 2. I have no life. But if we had skill- or luck-based challenges like flash games or puzzles I don't think I'd perform very well at those at all. Even Ginger told me I need to stop performing so well in challenges and I agree with him. But I'm just scared it might already be too late now. Also challenges are genuinely the part I enjoy the most in orgs, I hate the backstabbing and socializing, so it feels stupid to restrict myself from enjoying the game just to do better at it... Ugh. What an internal struggle. I hope the next challenge will be something I naturally suck at so I don't even have to think about it.