#my constant worry about this man | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tiredassmage · 2 years ago

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Glad Imperial therapy worked out so well for all six (seven? are we still counting Kephess?) of you, besties. Tyr, them’s fighting words for a man who’s genuine greatest fear is probably losing control again. But why would we ever admit that akdfnlasdfnlsafd

(My love and anxiety for him and his knife’s edge walking of backtalk; what percentage of it is genuine bravado manufactured from “well, if I’m going out, hear about the genuine reason why, scheming bastard” and actually manufactured bravado because stars help us, admitting emotions to Sith is not the therapy we’re looking for, it’s a genuinely terrifying threat and we cannot let them know that we’ve got an image to maintain adkfnsldf)

#dot plays the star war #ch: tyr #my constant worry about this man #yes i make it worse i know hush i'm his writer i can do both lol #swtor dread masters #tyr like 'damn u want therapy bitch me too but we can't always get what we want now stop lying'#'cute act still not falling for it'#he's actually constantly salty about sith and their 'privilege' he's just also very aware they are like playing with thermal detonators #and he'd like to keep his marbles etc etc after the encounter which usually tempers things

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buddiebitch · 6 months ago

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“you can multiship” but i won’t

“so glad i’m a multishipper” good for you

“why can’t everyone multiship?” because i don’t want to

#solo buddie shipper till the day i die #if tommy’s helping us get there then good for him #the sides of my brain fight over this frequently #one side wants buddie immediately as soon as possible and then constant happy domestic love for the rest of the series #the smarter (but much smaller) side of my brain sees the vision #i know that this storyline makes sense to take us to buddie #but it’s taking too long #i need eddie to get his shit together #please stop with your ex dead wife doppelgänger and go get your man #your husband is dating a racist and you’re worried about planning dates for your girlfriends #buddie #911 #911 on abc #evan buckley #eddie diaz

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago

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I'm frightened of you knowing who I am but, could you possibly give me your frank frankly theories pretty please idc if you only have like 2.1 I want them regardless of how many you have.

mayhaps?

ah man i wish i had some to give! i think all of my Frank theories (at present) are tied into other theory posts! he simply doesn't have a lot to chew on yet

#unlike say - wally or eddie - he doesn't have a lot of incriminating information #there's a bunch of little puzzle pieces:#the multiple hims in their house on the map / not having a backstory in his bio / im sure theres more but i cant recall it rn #but the little things we have so far are - imo - so disconnected thats it like. man idk what to do with these yet #i can very lightly speculate that he'll probably play a big role in 'looking behind the curtain' as it were #just since he's the serious Knowledge Guy #and i can imagine that out of everyone he's most likely to pursue the truth if he starts to Notice that things arent what they seem #i also imagine that that miiiiight clash with wally?#cause if frank goes 'holy shit none of this is real' its also likely that he might try to tear down the illusion / something similar #meanwhile wally seems deadset on Restoring the neighborhood and keeping things the same #could be conflict there! wait does that count as a theory? i may have lied to you #sorry my thought process works best when rambling - constant stream of thought can knock new things loose up there yk yk #rambles from the bog #homebogging #wh speculation #and dont even worry about it - i dont even know who i am! i know no one and nothing and everything is a nebulous void!

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mellotronmkll · 3 months ago

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I need to stop having one weird reaction with someone and then letting the anxiety decide in my head that the friendship is doomed because I ruined it like it's my absolute worst trait and I just have to move past it but it's hard

#i have to operate under the assumption that if people have an issue they will tell me but unfortunately this isnt true .#and it has happened to me in the past that i thought everything was ok because people were giving signals i wasnt picking up on #due to the autism so now im paranoid and constantly looking for signs i did something wrong and people are mad #and then i find them where they arent there which perversely does more to ruin a friendship than almost anything else #like the constant Are you mad at me... so i try to force myself not to do that and just #try to again assume that people arent however. im so worried about being blindsided Also of course i naturally dont want to make people #upset so if i am doing something wrong i want to change my behavior. however the fact its nuanced like #where you have to only do that a little bit and then take people at their word most of the time #fucking sucks like you actually are required in relationships to read peoples unspoken signals but you cant do that Too much #and if you misinterpet them its bad... but you cant ask for feedback too much because thats bad too. IT DOES MY HEAD IN actually like #it makes it so hard for me to interact with people because im just worried All of the time . and i have to be constantly like #ok check the facts and adjust behavior. check the facts and adjust behavior. make sure the facts are facts and not jumping to conclusions.#ok how do i do that . ok when do i ask directly. also people dont always tell the truth when you Do ask directly .#and then this is why my whole life i have mostly kept to myself and im trying to stop doing that but its hard because talking to others is a #puzzle for me that stresses me out more than anything else. man this sucksssssss can i just BE NORMAL!!!!!!#i know like Everyone has this problem its a common issue with relationships Communication but it feels especislly difficult for me .i #like cant fathom how other people manage very large numbers of friendships like even being able to count my close friends #on one hand i feel like im barely managing everything and im letting everyone down constantly but again i think thatsnonly my perception/#worry and not even true. god

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mypeggableromance · 1 month ago

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#hhhhh I'll probably delete this later but if i don't physically put these thoughts somewhere I'll maybe explode.#but fuck man. shit sucks fr! I highkey think I can't go to work tomorrow but yknow how it goes!!!!#I'm caught somewhere between finally being taken seriously about my health issues #and having the most wretched mental health crisis #like on one hand fantastic! I'm being taken seriously now its gotten to the point where I cant fucking walk normally #but on the other hand oh my god holy shit. i had to get this bad???? and I'm worried. i know theres shit so much bigger than me rn going on #but I'm worried about my health. especially when I've been trying to deal with it for the better part of like.... 5 years #since i was 19!!!!#I'm 24 and worrying about whether or not I'll actually walk about with 0 pain ever again isn't that fucked.#so that's bittersweet. ive got physio tomorrow. blood tests next week #an ultrasound coming up #its ultimately a good thing im being taken seriously. if not a terrifying acceptance that everything ive been feeling has been real and #well. bad.#and like with this right is the crash of my mental health. just a fuckin nosedive man.#i have a relatively stressful job i felt out of my depth about and thus guilty for but now its a role that I've approached in constant pain #for the last few months.#i can't deal with that actually! lots of stress! lots of pain! lots of mental pain over my physical condition! my job grinding my soul!#aaaaa!!!!!!!#like i dont WANT to be unemployed either #I'd much rather be uhhhh employed! and able to save money towards actually getting Help™#but I've got to admit that i hurt too much. and its consuming my whole fucking brain.#but I'll go on #ive got my first trip out the country solo next week!! im heading to san Fransisco!!! im excited.#but I'm worried for the inevitable moment where my pains catch up with me #ill surpress it while I'm out there. try and remind myself to have a good time. return to the uk and feel a weeks worth of pain #and even THAT sucks to consider #but i should stop #rambles

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arsenicflame · 9 months ago

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wheres that post about knowing somethings irrational not helping stop worrying, i have been having a low grade panic attack for 2 hours now

#just this constant tremble and sickness in my stomach! im like an overstressed chihuahua #nyxtalks #we have a meeting about our issues at work n i. typed up all our issues and now im worried i worded things wrong #or said something people disagree with or!!! idk #underlying dread so strong #i know its gonns be fine. the worst that can happen is i quit but i was thinking about that anyway #but goooooooooood. i am so fucking panicky about this #stick it to the man (crying)

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officialjimmybuffett · 3 months ago

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oh! the big sad in my chest again it’s back

#did not miss u old friend #i have GOT to get normaler #tips for not enjoying the masochism of self pity?????? PLEASE i’m serious tell me how to stop #academically i cannot afford this #variety is truly the spice of life man. no longer suffering from throwing up anxiety like i had all summer #instead it’s brain fog and over analysis of my relationships and the comfort of self pity #WOMP WOMP!#I NEED A GUN!!!!#this can’t be all there is. a constant cycle of consuming worries and resentments. like there’s more than that right #anyways if u saw this u did not #unless u can tell me something to help yes it’s a cry for help NO IT ISNT. ahahahaha unless #but it’s not. lol but #nvm #mmmm i should journal again fuck #i feel like i gotta remember im 20. bros a baby and is worrying about largely trivial matters 😂😂😂😂 L bozo + ratio

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kimmkitsuragi · 7 months ago

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whew haha

#🗒#my mom is like 'ok it's set let's tell everyone' and im like 😭😭😭😭 !!!!!#are u sure!!!! are u sure it's set like ???? 😭😭😭#ughhhhhh after this much trust i will literally kill myself if i dont get ANY scholarship lmaooooo #but also like. is it set now!!!! really !!!!!!! is it !!!!!#(excited but horrified and anxious)#like. like like like........ like i mean #um........ for real now? like are we sure for sure ??#i honestly will be like 100% on my way to [redacted] and still be like haha. is it for real #are we sure . will this actually happen #that's. crazy man #i cant help but feel like im asking for too much again. ughhhhhhh #yes hello hi. this blog has been my main outlet for emotional breakdowns about the same subject for um #(checks notes) a few months now. truly is anyone else bored of this ? because im so over it #but also like. things just dont get clear !!!!!! ever !!!!!#how can i be sure how can anyone be sure that i will actually be going lmfaooooo #i hate this waiting period i hate it why cant i know if i got anything or nah. but please don't say nah #ughhhhhh . alright. whatever it's not like i care that much honestly -_-#(threatens to kill self every day a few times over this btw)#anyway um let's. be positive #it will go great tomorrow 🤩 they will want to give me money sooooo bad 😍#and i will receive an email this week 🤗 about the wait list thing for SURE 🥳#i am doing amazing dont worry guys. im sooooo chill rn #Sorry for the constant embarrassing personal posts lol

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noctswife · 4 months ago

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Tbh it is very embarrassing to be obsessed with a FFXIV elf guy bc now I gotta be horny for a guy with a french-ass name. And it's not even a good french name, and he's not even french french he's just stuck with it. How do i live with the fact that the elf I want to pound into the mattress gripping the sheets teary-eyed leaking all over the bed can't think straight etc etc's name is pronounced foolk. For the love of god please help me

#was trying to find IPA versions of his name bc i don't particularly want to clog the search of this side npc elfguy #with just my constant thoughts of how much i want to peg this man.#but at the same time i worry about the screenreader accessibility of my thirstposts (what a problem to have)#unfortunately. It is hard to tell who exactly i'd be thirstposting about because of the French Nameness making the IPA hard to parse

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endyark · 7 months ago

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im tempted to make a massive vent post but idk if that's a good idea

#imjusy gonna yap here #i hate how clingy i am #when theyre not tslking to me i get worried #i feel bad #i feel like im not enough #i always get insecure when i dont have constant reassurance and i hate it #i feel like a selfish asshole man #i make everything about me i think about nobody else but me #and i hate how im like this #i feel like someday theyre gonna get tired of me #tired of my bs #tired of me constantly needing reassurance #i fucking hate being insecure i hate it i dont wanna be like this #i dont how “quirky and silly” ppl make it out to ve #LIKE I FUCKING HAGE MYSELF AND I HATE MYSELF FOR HATING MYSELF #oh my god #rant over #vent post

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rouge-the-bat · 2 years ago

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honestly i dont like the bi-lesbian.carrd someone made bc it was originally using my flags but now it has no mention of them whatsoever. and i feel like it was probably due to that ass who put me on a callout and was literally stalking me, claiming im "dangerous" or whatever bc of some fiction related opinions?? it just feels rude that ive spent so much time making a space safe for fellow mspec lesbians and mspec gays on my bi-lesbian blog and compiling information explaining the use of the labels and its history to fight against exclusionist hate and creating the flags and symbols for the community only for a now somewhat commonly linked source for bi lesbianism to not even mention my flags and symbols which were made before the mspec lesbian flags shown on there. like maybe im thinking too much into it and it has nothing to do with the callout but considering some (but not all) of the flags shown off are from people who have spread my callout before... :/

#it could be nothing but it just. rubs me wrong #it still sources a lot of my posts tho so maybe im just being a lil paranoid #i just hate thinking about that piece of shit having any lasting effects with my reputation or things ive created or anything #bc the time i was dealing with the person was some of the worst panic attacks ive ever had and it was CONSTANT. NONSTOP ANXIETY #it fucked me up man #i hope im just worried over nothing 😓

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reallilystuff · 10 months ago

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the chronicles of going batshit insane over these two from 4 to 5 am when i got shit to do early in the morning