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tildeathiwillwrite · 4 months ago

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Tag Game: Writerly Questionnaire

Thanks to @paeliae-occasionally @willtheweaver and @agirlandherquill for the tags!

Rules: Answer the questions!

Long post incoming!

About You

When did you start writing?

My earliest attempts at writing books are from when I was about 9 or 10, scribbling in a sparkly pink notebook something that was in essense video game fanfiction. It will never see the light of day again. The WIP I've had for the longest, The Watcher and the Thief, I started when I was 12 and writing a backstory for my human ranger in Dungeons and Dragons.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

I love reading fantasy and I love writing fantasy, specifically high fantasy and portal fantasy. I'm always looking to expand my reading taste and go outside my comfort zone but fantasy fiction is my jam and always will be.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

Honestly there are so many authors that I'm obsessed with that I probably subconsciously emulate and would be absolutely honored to be compared to including but not limited to Brandon Sanderson, Robert Jordan, Brandon Mull, Leigh Bardugo, Weis and Hickman, uh yeah probably others.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

I've done most of my writing in the living room of my house, sitting on the couch closest to a plug for my laptop charger with one of those lap desks and said laptop on my lap. It's either that or sitting on my bed or hiding in the basement if my housemates are too distracting (rare). I have also been known to write on my phone from time to time when I have the time but not the laptop.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Go on a walk or a car ride with one of my WIP playlists playing. I also brainstorm while waiting to fall asleep in bed.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

I mean my mom was the one who kindled my love for fantasy books, but otherwise I don't think so.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

There seem to be a lot of wanderers, whether seeking something or on a mission or traveling aimlessly. Draven and Octavian post-THtMatC, Jas and Killian, the ToS crew. Most of the aforementioned people are also willing to go out of their way to help someone in need or their mission centers around providing aid.

Your Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

Of all time, Octavian de Silv. I go into further detail here. Otherwise I can't really choose because I love my ocs for different reasons.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

I think I'd be friends with Jas or Reese. With Jas it would be the classic case of an extrovert adopting an introvert, and with Reese we'd bond over our love of reading.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Obviously any of my villains, and if I ever met Draven I would get annoyed with him real quick. I don't get on well with people irl who share his personality.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

Well, I usually start with a slot to put a character in a story. Then I throw an appearance on them, usually traits that might stand out to a POV character upon their introduction. Then I decide a name and personality. All of this is subject to change at literally any time. All of it.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Including what I've said before... a lot of the protagonists exhibit some of my own traits like stubbornness extreme perseverance and creative problem-solving with violence.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

I picture them in my artstyle as I have doodled and drawn and such, I also use picrews to help me better visualize their appearances, although those obviously do have limits.

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

I love flailing about my characters in different ways, including Problems, Situations, Shenanigans, etc. I have plots and stuff but I write because I love my characters so so much.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Any comment (that isnt hate) is a good comment :) I do love when people *cough, cough* @fourwingedsnake make funny comments regarding the characters or a line or the situation in general

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

Storms I dunno I just want people to like my writing/my characters/my worlds

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Creating memorable characters and also accidentally forming new magic systems

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

I've noticed that people really like my ocs so y'know win there, other than that I've never been to my memory explicitly told

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

I feel like I've improved a lot over the last year or so, and prompt events/posting on Tumblr has got me in the habit of writing every day, even if it's just a brainstorming session. I definitely feel more confident in my own abilities and more comfortable showing my writing to people (still hesitant about showing my irl friends/family for obvious reasons)

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yeah???? I write first and foremost for me and it would definitely help me cope with the loneliness of being the last person on earth. Maybe the next dominant species will figure out English and read it.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I for sure write what I enjoy. If readers don't like it they don't have to read it, and if I don't like it I won't finish it even if others enjoy it. My writing my rules deal with it and if you can't the unfollow/block button is right there

Tagging @faytelumos @fourwingedwriter @thewritingautisticat @stargazer-luna @phoenixradiant @pluppsauthor @pluttskutt @elizaellwrites @gamerkats @happypup-kitcat24 and open tag! :D

About You When did you start writing? Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write? Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared? Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.) What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse? Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about? Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all? Your Characters Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.) Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life? Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them? Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters. Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters? How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.) Your Writing What’s your reason for writing? Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers? How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.) What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer? What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others? How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.) If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write? When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence

#writerly questionnaire #tag game #writeblr #about me #writing thoughts #open tag #writer questions

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grasshopperdoingdogpaddle · 1 year ago

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What do you think of jermomi ?

A solid ship, there's definitely some basis for it.

(I have another ask in by inbox requesting my in-depth thoughts on Jermaine, so I'm going to truncate some points of analysis here.)

I definitely think they have crushes on each other.

They occasionally blush at fidget at each other, and you can really how much they want to impress each other. They care a lot what the other thinks of them.

They hit it off really well, and both represent something new and unknown for the other. Jermaine's the first friend Omi's made with no connection to any of the Xiaolin-Heylin stuff, and vice versa, and they're both amazed by the peek into the other's world that the other offers.

And Omi's also probably the first kid who actually came back and helped Jermaine after Jermaine stuck his neck out to save him from getting jumped. Jermaine's fully prepared to just accept a beating in the place of this kid, but he lights up with surprised joy when Omi saves him right back.

Their first to each other was literally rescuing each other, with both being absolutely floored with awe at the other's skill and heroism. That's a meet cute you'd find in lots of action romances.

Omi getting all three of the bullies to run away with their tails between their legs is probably the first time Jermaine ever seen anyone take down all three of them. And it's the first time anyone's ever stood up and fought them to protect Jermaine.

Omi was the first person to inspire and save Jermaine like he did, even before Omi went on to introduce Jermaine to all this magical stuff. Jermaine so readily came to join Omi's side when Jack challenged him, because Omi and Jermaine have already fallen into this fun, easy chemistry and being there for each other.

It's no wonder they mean to much to each other after their first meeting.

And they keep in contact after that, probably through letters and packages and basketball trickshots.

They're a fun team, they play off each other well and pull each other out of their comfort zones, they're very cute. They also push each other to grow, even with the rocky bumps that come at first. Through all the highs and lows, I could see it.

And speaking of lows, even when they had their fight, where Omi was absolutely in the wrong, Omi was surprisingly quick to drop it when he became concern about whatever Chase's intention with Jermaine were.

Omi's jealousy was fueled by his deep fears about losing the only place in the world he's ever been condition to think he'll have, his role as a Xiaolin dragon, and that's so deep-seeded that Omi holds onto it. Until he learns that Chase is involved.

Omi apologizes and threw the match completely when he has to measure that fear against letting Jermaine fall victim to whatever Chase was scheming. Omi's willing to lose and let Jermaine decide how things end.

Omi knows Chase very well and navigates their relationship warily. It's apparent that Chase is keeping far more from Jermaine if Jermaine hasn't even been made aware that Chase is evil in the first place.

Even at their lowest, Jermaine says that the thing Jermaine wanted most from all his training was for Omi to be happy for him. The thing that hurt Jermaine the most was that, through all the grueling training he was going through, he was looking forward to seeing Omi be happy at Jermaine finally taking up that offer he was too anxious to take before, when Omi offered to bring Jermaine back to the temple.

Jermaine loves Omi's confidence and finds his signature boasting pretty cute. He really enjoys Omi's base personality and finds his quirks endearing. It's only a problem when Omi specifically butts heads with him out of envy, and Jermaine makes it very clear in moments like that.

But outside of that, he wants Omi to be himself. Jermaine even lightly teases Omi when Omi invites Jermaine to return to the temple, and he grins when that teasing eggs Omi into adding a bit of the playful self-aggrandizement that Jermaine loves about him.

tldr; Jermaine and Omi know each other pretty well like each other for the personalities, not "despite them," we've gotten to see how they are both when they're fighting side-by-side or when they're fighting each other and there's solid chemistry either way, they both have to get better with communication but are very willing to grow there together, they inspire each other to look past what holds them back (Jermaine's hesitance about the big world, Omi's pathological fear of losing the only place he thinks he can have in the world as a tool for good), and the crushes are definitely there.

#xiaolin showdown #omi #jermaine #jermomi #long post

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emsuemsu · 1 year ago

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So, occasionally I do adventure out of my comfort zone and read something other than Harry and Draco falling in love for the 1246th time in a row. This month I've been enjoying some magnificent entries in HP rare pair fair (@hprarepairfest) - all the love for this fest. Also I've been exploring some jegulus which I'm absolutely obsessed, at least in theory. In reality I don't think I'm honestly strong enough for the marauders era at all, that shit fucking hurts and I salute all those who go through it day to day. You're amazing.

So, without futher ado, my november non-drarry favorites:

Apple Tree and Juniper by @trueliarose 💫 Harry/Charlie, 17,732 words

Charlie Weasley: dragon tamer, single, attractive and the man Harry had had a crush on for years - what will happen when said man has to take some time off at work and decides to occupy himself by helping out with Harry's business?

Now, the thing about me is that I'm the biggest simp for Charlie Weasley. He makes me absolutely feral. The whole idea of getting it on with your best friends brother is like fucking ecstasy to me, and this might or might not stem from personal experiences. Out of all the Weasley siblings Charlie with Harry is just 🤌🤌 Now this fic had it all. A little angst, lots of fluff, Harry being all crafty crafty, TENSION and PINING, amazing magical woodworking lore (??? idk but i love it).. and the best part is that I noticed the author started a series with this fic being the opening act - I've never in my life hit that subscribe button as fast as I did with this one. God is good.

Choices by @sophsicle 💫 Regulus/James, 624,178 words

People make mistakes, but they also make choices. It’s important to James, that difference. He does his best not to confuse the two.

This is an honourable mention on this list since I read this already in October. But listen, I'm fucking traumatized by this fic. This was my first jegulus, my first marauders I've ever finished, and my 13th goddamn reason. And I can't even blame anybody other than myself, I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. I binge-read this in a day and a half and in retrospect I should've taken it a little more easy. But what can I say, I'm an all or nothing kinda girl. Chapter 53 hits different at 4am, just saying. The writing was hauntingly beautiful and I still think daily about some quotes and scenes from this fic. This fic is a journey and I'm glad I took it.

Light Bringer by meanwhiletimely 💫 Albus/Gellert, 10,678 words

Gellert doesn't simply shine—Gellert blazes, casting all around him into shadow with sheer dazzling force of being. When he turns that beatific gaze on you, your whole body comes alive for him: heat flaring up from within, blood in your veins turned to light.

This story is EVERYTHING. I was holding by breath while reading this. Beautiful. I love grindeldore (even though my resentment of Albus is as deep as the Mariana Trench), and this has to be one of the most beautiful fics I've ever read. This was written in second person POV which made the fic even more intense. Like I felt every word in my soul. Lots of love.

Mystic Lake of Memory by @sliebman10 💫 Harry/George, 5,055 words

As George's thirtieth birthday approaches, Harry convinces him to go on holiday to Loch Ness, where he and Fred had originally planned to spend their birthday in search of the sea monster.

Fred and George remain as an open wound for me still after all these years. This fic was sweet and melancholic at the same time, I absolutely loved how their relationship had grown and this fic was pretty as a picture. Absolute joy.

Sleeping With Ghosts by @ghaniblue 💫 Regulus/Harry/Draco, 27,902 words

Harry wakes in an unfamiliar bed to Regulus pointing a wand at his head, and then Draco moves into his house. Harry just wants the world to fuck off; being able to sleep through the night would be appreciated, too. This is the story of one very tired saviour of the wizarding world, a resurrected corpse and a mean little ferret living in Grimmauld Place together, drinking too much tea, talking less than is warranted, and falling in love.

I'm a slut for triads. Even more of a slut if two thirds of the triad is drarry. This fic was everything. It was so witty and funny and I was seriously laughing out loud reading this. I need this relationship tag to BLOW THE FUCK UP in 2024. I loved the build up and the ending was perfect. I really enjoyed Regulus' characterization and I think this fic really hits the spot with how I imagine him being. The interaction between the three of them was amazing.

Sweet Boy by @maraudersaffair 💫 Harry/Narcissa, 6,261 words

Harry agrees to date Narcissa to help her improve the reputation of her family. The intensity of their sexual chemistry takes them both by surprise, and it turns out there is nothing fake about their arrangement.

After reading this I decided that being a MILF is a state of mind and that being said I am one now. Do I have any kids? No. Will I have any kids? God knows. This fic was delicious in all the ways and more and I love Narcissa. So much.

Two of the Easiest Words in Gaelic by sky_watcher_rose 💫 Druella/Minerva, 27,902 words

Minerva will be the first to admit that Druella Rosier was the love of her life. But it’s been twenty years since they last saw each other, and she’s done her best to move on. When Druella unexpectedly arrives at a parents’ evening - the first she’s attended in the four years that Minerva has been teaching her children - both of them have to face up to certain feelings that never went away.

I usually shy away from muggle au's, but this was magical nevertheless. It was the first fic with this pairing I've ever read (and yes I have to admit I had to google who Druella was). The Scottish winter vibes were immaculate. I absolutely adore the "one that got away" kinda vibe in this one. There was this one quote from Minerva which was something like "I'm Scottish, nothing depresses me except bad whiskey" and I felt that in my core. Feel u sis, even though I'm not a Scot.

Unguarded-series by birdsofshore 💫 Draco/Albus Severus, 5 works, 38,834 words in total

Dilf-Draco is all I need in my life. So fucking hot.

#harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fic recs #jegulus #grindeldore #harry/charlie #harry/george #druella/minerva #regulus/harry/draco #draco/albus severus #harry/narcissa #my rec

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untitled-smp · 2 years ago

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Meet the Players! [Untitled SMP]

Pyrite/Worm - Krystal_Rage - they/them - @krystalrage

Joined: Season 2

Faction: Malfaction

Socials:

Tumblr: Krystalrage

Untitled specific tumblr: Player-Mold

- / - / -

Hello, I'm Pyrite! I wouldn't call myself the most exciting person, but I'm certainly getting by just fine and having loads of fun around here! The very simple answer as to why I joined is that the last SMP I was on died, I saw the previous recruitment run, and I thought this one looked fun

- / - / -

How long have you been playing Minecraft? If you only recently got back into it, what made you want to?

I've been around for about 9 years, give or take. I'd been a pretty on and off player up until public servers were common, and occasionally jumped to another when they started either dying or getting absolutely massive

What's your favorite block in Minecraft?

Deepslate redstone

What is your favorite Minecraft mob?

Brown mooshroom

What is your unpopular Minecraft opinion?

Mycelium looks great, I love it

What underrated aspect of Minecraft is your favorite?

It's not really underrated by people who play, but the sheer level of creativity you can unleash. There are certain limits that can't be altered, at least in vanilla, but for the most part you can just make whatever you want

Where do you get most of your inspiration from?

Video games! I tend to pull large details from games and mash them together with real world stuff for base designs, then work outwards from there

What builds are you the most proud of and why?

My bridge and my base. Both of these have had huge amounts of planning put into them and are huge reaches outside of my comfort zone.

What's a weird fact people might not know about you?

I'm big on collecting dragon figurines and dinosaur plushies, though I don't have a huge amount of either. Also the name pyrite doesn't come from the rock, it comes from a certain webcomic

What do you enjoy outside of Untitled and Minecraft? (feel free to go nuts about interests here)

I'm really big on sculpting! I plan on doing way more in the future, and most'll end up getting posted onto my main at some point or another!

#untitled smp #minecraft smp #meet the players #krystal_rage #pyrite #theecryptiid was killed by magic

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darkreverist · 7 months ago

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𝒻𝒶𝓆 ❝◟✿◞❞

‿❀°. below you'll find some common questions. please, please read before asking about something. i'll still answer any questions sent to me, but most questions, that i think might be asked, will be answered here. thank you ♡.

‿❀°. do you take requests?: unfortunately, no. i will, however, be open to suggestions and/or sharing prompt ideas, but i will not be fulfilling any requests. personally, requests block my creative flow.

‿❀°. will you have a schedule?: no. i am a fulltime college student and i also work part time, so my personal schedule is pretty busy during the school semester. i will try my best to be as consistent as i can be, but i can't promise anyone anything.

‿❀°. will you have a taglist?: no. i've tried in the past, and with privacy settings, it makes tagging certain accounts difficult. i recommend turning on my post notifications if you want to be notified when i post/update.

‿❀°. what will you write?: i will mainly be writing dark, smutty fics. occasionally, they will just be dark with no smut. i will also write fantasy, horror, and gore. please check the listed tags and warnings before interacting with any of my writings to avoid any potential triggers.

‿❀°. what will you not write?: i will not write anything related to pedophilia, blood-related incest, m/m, f/f, or f/m/f. there are definitely more topics or kinks i will not write about, if you are unsure, and want to suggest an idea or prompt to me, please feel free to ask me what i am comfortable with. this is a judgement free zone.

‿❀°. what fandoms will you be writing for?: mainly marvel (mcu). other topics of interest include: the witcher, game of thrones (including house of the dragon), supernatural, dc comics, lotr, the hobbit, and many more. for any fandoms that are not listed, check the "many and different masterlist," for more information.

‿❀°. why don't you repost other creators' fics? do you not support others in the writing community?: ofc, i do support my fellow writers. creating artwork and sharing it with others is, to me, a very vulnerable act. you're subjecting yourself to the criticism of others, and it's a very intimidating thing to put yourself through. i will always support my community. for this account, i am choosing to not repost anything that isn't mine or created by me in some shape, or form. i want this account to be a library for my work, and i want to keep this account as organized and as navigable as possible for everyone, without too much clutter. i will admit that my reasoning behind it could be considered as selfish, i understand that. that is not my intention. i apologize in advance for any toes i might step on because of this choice of mine, but my stance on this is firm. that does not mean i do not support my fellow fic writers, they have all of my love and support.

‿❀°. did you steal from @mhysa-leesi?: i am her, and she is me. that was/is my main account. if you've made it this far, i will not be uploading on that account anymore, but i am keeping it "active," so people can still read my past fics. you might see reuploads posted on this account of my past work, but i did not steal from myself. those fics will be tagged accordingly.

‿❀°. why don't you block underage accounts or accounts with no age?: i am not responsible for the media consumption of others. i am not their parent or guardian. i post warnings, and if someone actively chooses to ignore my warnings, that is not my problem.

‿❀°. did you steal another creator's idea?: accidents happen. i will never intentionally steal from another creator of any media. if i do find inspiration in another creator's work, i will always give credit where credit is due. that being said, there will be overlap that happens in this community. if i do not credit someone for whatever reason, that does not automatically mean i stole their idea—it just means we had similar ideas. if you think i should be crediting someone or if i miscredited someone, please reach out to me, and i will look into it and fix it. i will never be upset over feedback—especially if it means bettering myself. however, that does not mean you get to disrespect me or send me unnecessary hate if you suspect i am duping your favorite creator. you will be blocked.

‿❀°. did you steal another creator's artwork?: again, accidents happen. and as stated above, i will never intentionally steal another person's artwork. i emphasize intention because if i do use someone's artwork for one of my covers, it is never with the intent to pass it off as my own original art. i'm sure we all know that, sometimes, if you find a piece of art from a site like pinterest, there won't always be a credited artist. in a circumstance like that, i will always be transparent about where i found that particular piece. again, that does not mean i am intentionally miscrediting someone. i spend time making all of my own covers, so i understand how it can be upsetting. if you recognize an artwork that i've used and saw that i didn't give proper credit for whatever reason, please dm me, and i will fix it.

‿❀°. do you use *ai?: yes, i do. i think if it's used appropriately, it can be a great support tool. anything *ai generated will be marked accordingly. i will always be transparent about my use of *ai.

#faq #faq post

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belladonna-miranda · 10 months ago

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Lunar New Year 2024: Asking Alexandria Edition

Primary Source of Lunar New Year predictions

Secondary Source of 2024 lucky colors

Since Chinese New Year is here, I decided to throw an Asking Alexandria-themed prediction on each of the four remaining members since Ben left three weeks ago.

Drummer James Cassells: 12/27/1988 🌿🐉

Intelligent, ambitious, diligent. Lucky colors (general): yellow, brown, and gold Lucky colors (2024): yellow and red Lucky numbers: 1, 6, 7 Lucky days: 1st and 16th of each month of the Chinese lunar calendar

With Ben Bruce out of the band, James is now the oldest remaining member, giving him an advantage in both adjusting to its first lineup change in six-and-a-half years and improving his leadership skills. Furthermore, his overall forecast brings deeper relationships, financial opportunities, and a balanced lifestyle.

Guitarist Cameron Liddell: 6/13/1989 🌿🐍

Quiet, decisive, thoughtful Lucky colors (general): brown and yellow Lucky colors (2024): green, gray, purple, and yellow Lucky numbers: 2, 8, 9 Lucky days: 1st and 23rd of each month of the Chinese lunar calendar

Cameron, the gentle giant of Asking Alexandria, uses his role as the voice of reason in case his bandmates enter conflict towards each other, especially after Ben's recent departure to focus on his family. Not only does 2024 bring my favorite left-handed guitarist several transformative milestones, but also relaxation and stress management on and off tour due to his practical and charming appearance.

Vocalist Danny Worsnop: 9/04/1990 🪙🐎

Rational, kind, outgoing Lucky colors (general): blue and green Lucky colors (2024): red, green, and gold Lucky numbers: 2, 3, 7 Lucky days: 5th and 20th of each month of the Chinese lunar calendar

Thanks to his naturally sociable demeanor both on and off stage, Danny has high hopes for this year's touring schedule as the Horse and ruling animal Dragon energies dynamically overlap. However, if he has too much independence, then Danny could impulsively make the wrong choices, so patience is a key skill for him this lunar year.

Bassist Sam Bettley: 2/19/1991 🪙🐐

Caring, responsible, stubborn (occasionally) Lucky colors (general): yellow, brown, white, and gold Lucky colors (2024): pink, lime green, silver, and white Lucky numbers: 2, 7 Lucky days: 7th and 30th of each month of the Chinese lunar calendar

As the youngest in the band, Sam uses his innate creativity to embrace not only his musical ability, but also artistic skill through his recent paintings. Likewise, thinking of ways to balance personal and professional wellbeing such as woodworking will also give Sam an opportunity to learn from his setbacks, celebrate his successes, and step outside his comfort zone.

#asking alexandria #james cassells #cameron liddell #danny worsnop #sam bettley #lunar new year 2024

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commanderquinn · 1 year ago

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im quinn!! a fandom ancient baby-stepping back into posting because i missed writing. you can find the most up-to-date versions of my work on ao3, but i will Attempt to keep tumblr updated as well

this is gonna be a fandom blog for the duration, with the occasional ao3 links and such. if you dont want my personal/rant posts block #quinn speaks & #quinns rant tag. im a slut for that one-armed grouch, bucko barnes, so most content is probably gonna revolve around him. i do get distracted with other fandoms from time to time tho

and i do have a bg3 side blog

tag nav:

my masterlists/oneshots

metas ive written for fandoms AND metas written by others

the inspo tag for all my ammunition plot device needs

posts that are My Vibe

my favs is a junk drawer tag at the moment. i will eventually refine it into multiples

free serotonin (post abt my doggo)

my current writing projects:

-Good Space (12/40 chapters posted) / masterpost: a bucky/reader fic! reader is named (Ava) bc i cant write a fic that long without one. i need Something, but physical description is left purposely vague (well. okay. refs to ava being Curvy and having glasses, you're welcome to picture Whatever You Want). plot is fully mapped, it'll just take me a bit to write something That Big

-Kinktober '23: the posting has begun! ive mapped all 31 days and they're focused on my MCU canon that you can find in good space. i dont consider the end of october the cutoff. im a writer in this for Good Vibes, not a time crunch. all fics will eventually be posted

fandoms i vibe with/write for:

im not gonna sit here and list every single fandom i know bc i have adhd and that'd be a Bad Idea, so if you wanna know if im down to write for your fandom but dont see me blogging about it, you can go ahead and shoot me an ask. that said, here's the fandoms i like/intend to write for on my own end at the moment:

-marvel -bg3 -mass effect -dragon age -outer worlds -starfield -fallout

writing requests:

i am open to taking writing requests!! you're welcome to submit them through my inbox or you can leave 'em on posts. up to you how descriptive you wanna get. seriously, any detail you can think of, go for it. you're not offending me by getting specific by any means

Some Blanket Rules:

-you can ask me to tw tag my posts. you can ask me to tw tag my fics. you have, at all times, my ACTIVE ENCOURAGEMENT to try to make my work safe for you. im happy to help in any way that i can, you're NOT bothering me by asking to put up warnings for things, its okay bb.

-however. please try to respect that im still A Person With Feelings. more importantly, to you, i am a stranger on the internet. acting like you've got some weird kind of authority over what kind of content im allowed to post is Really Fucked Up. please keep that attitude away from me. id recommend a therapist, but that's your call.

-i can, and will without hesitation, block anyone at the DROP of a hat if i catch bad vibes. im old. this is my house. i will make it a house i want to be in, anyone who fucks with that is no concern of mine. im just gonna block you and move on with my day.

-this is an anti-fandom-wank zone. i. am. old. (im not even 30 yet i should really stop saying that but i AM) and. tired. i cannot begin to describe to y'all how much i do not care about an internet stranger's biased view of something. leave me alone. im busy writing smut.

-in this house we believe in comfort fic supremacy

#im gonna come back and add links to other posts for stuff like fic recs #i gotta go round up links to all my favs #but look at me go!!! im finally doing the fandom effort

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roachliquid · 2 years ago

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tl;dr: Being "uncomfortable" with a trans woman's sexual expression is usually just transmisogyny.

(Before you read this, please take note that this is NOT a post about sexual abuse. I am not talking about people whose sexual behaviors cause actual harm to others, but those who are often mistakenly deemed harmful, due to their identity and/or the kind of behaviors in question.)

Something I've had to unlearn as a trans man is the idea that I, or trans people at large, will benefit in some way by my acting "respectable" - I.E. not acting overly sexual, paying homage to the gender essentialism of our society at large, basically trying to present myself as someone who is not a "deviant" or threat.

Now, I don't mean that I tried to make myself personally conform to rigid gender expectations. In fact, I've always tried to be pretty comfortable defying those, and refusing to let cis people determine what my gender should look like. What I mean is, I felt uncomfortable about expressing the sides of me that could be considered 'deviant'. Whether that be kinks, unconventional ideas about the nature of gender and its relationship to people's bodies, or even just... admitting I had a sex drive. It felt like safety to me. Like I was protecting myself from being judged as a creep or a pervert.

In a sense that was true... but it was also a very maladaptive approach to my life. Because I would see other trans people (particularly trans women) and my immediate reaction would be discomfort. People could express their tastes with the same frankness that a cishet man feels comfortable wielding about his love of women's bodies, and because the taste itself was less than mainstream - or even because the person expressing the opinion was a trans woman - I would think "yeah, that's too much for me". And I would just kinda... turn away from it. Retreat to the safe zone of minimal expression, where I tried not to say anything that could be construed as too deviant, or even worse, as transphobic (because it didn't fit the mainstream, rigid definitions of what a trans person should look like).

And I'm not saying that every case of this was a horrible act on my part. Having your own personal preferences, and setting boundaries around them, is relatively benign as far as behaviors go. But it stemmed from a genuinely unhealthy mindset, which is that it was my responsibility as a vulnerable person not to give others an opportunity to attack. And the fact that I would see a trans woman being open about her sexuality, or expressing that sexuality in a way that was less than 100% cisnormative, and that would immediately ping my "too much" radar? That was transmisogyny, pure and simple.

This is a problem that I see in a lot of TME (transmisogyny exempt) people, both cis and trans. Occasionally TMA (transmisogyny affected) people as well, but TMEs are absolutely more prone to it. And it's not just a relatively harmless thought crime - it's an internalization of a belief that exists specifically to punish and harm trans people, especially trans women and those who are considered trans woman-adjacent.

You see, TMA people are always considered "deviant". No matter what they do, they're labeled as predatory, perverted, degenerate if you will. It's not something that they can escape, no matter how respectable they act. A trans woman (for example) who enters into a monogamous heterosexual marriage with a cisgender man will be seen as just as gross and dangerous as a trans lesbian who wears her kinks on her sleeve.

Now, I'm not saying that it's never reasonable for a trans person to minimize an aspect of themselves that the mainstream won't like in order to keep themselves safe. Sometimes that's just something you have to do, whether it's going stealth or pretending that you're not into gay dragon fatfurs. This isn't about that.

But when you make being "not weird" your entire identity, we have a problem. And if you start lecturing other trans people on how embracing their strangeness is "inappropriate", "validating transphobes' worst fears", or, so help me, fucking "fetishizing trans people's bodies", you are not helping. You are making the problem worse, and you are throwing every TMA person under the bus in the process.

We cannot do this. We CANNOT fall prey to the mindset that there is an actual line beyond which someone's preferences or behaviors are simply too strange to be acceptable. Because the people who fall on the "wrong" side of that line will always be those who are most vulnerable. People who cannot make themselves fit the standard you are creating, and will end up suffering because you made the decision to prioritize your own feelings of discomfort over their right to safety and respect.

#transgender #transmisogyny #this post is for both cis people and transmascs to be clear

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sopafa · 3 years ago

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Paraplegic Douxie! P3

Previous part / Next one

Douxie started drowning.

It was past lunchtime and Archie was alone in the room without a soul around to do something. He familiar was down asleep when he felt it, the body on where he was resting started moving and some gags were produced by his human troat. Archibald woke immediately, and the horror surrounded him when he saw Douxie, with his eyes still closed drowning in front of your eyes.

Some muscular spams moved his abdomen, and the tube inside his mouth made difficult his breathing. Archie didn't think it twice and punched the bottom of the wall to call for assistance, the dragon did everything to stay calm while his familiar couldn't breathe, and with some tears in his eyes, he screamed with all the force of his longs to Barbara, hoping that she could do something.

It was a matter of seconds for a couple of doctors to rush into the room, that Archie barely had time to hide behind the door.

On the nurse halfway, Barbara was talking with her son and the trollhunters team about the situation. It has been four days, and yet the wizard hadn't woke. That's when he heard the commotion and turned around to see her partners running into Douxie's room. Jim saw the color drown from his mother's face and before giving him time to react, she was already running to the Wizard's habitation.

"Oh, no..." Was everything that Jim said.

====

The intubation was the worst thing that Douxie had ever experienced. He couldn't breathe, his head was spinning, and his body felt dizzy, his eyelids felt like he had a pair of weights dangling from, and then nausea.

Luckily, some good soul removed the tube from his trachea, so he was able to breathe again. The bad part is that his body had tried to expulse the tube by himself, so the accumulation of gags did their work and, before he even knew it, he was already cover in vomit.

His body retched making his abdomen hurt, but Douxie had no strength to even move his face to avoid slop more liquid over him. A pair of hands ran fast to his face to clean him right away. Douxie made his major effort to look at them, but he was so tired, that a simple hum was the only he achieved babble before starting throwing up again.

He felt miserable, he didn't want that anybody saw him like this. He felt shame, he had probably stained the person next to him with his body fluids and he wasn't even able to look at them in the eyes.

"It's okay- it's okay." A soft voice said just on his side. It was comforting and calm.

A wet towel was gently pressed on his face and began to wipe him, while more relaxing comments were spoken by that calming voice. He tried to look again, it took him a couple of minutes, and an insane amount of will, to finally open his eyes, but after a few fail tries, he finally succeeded. That hair and that eyes could only belong to one person.

Ms. Lake, he tried to pronounce, but the only thing that came out of him was a groan.

As he expected, the bedsheets and part of Ms. Lake's uniform were covered in puke, but the doctor didn't seem to care, she was still looking at him with that warm smile.

"How are you feeling?" Barbara removed some hair from his face. "You had a long surgery, and it looks that the anesthesia didn't make you feel very well".

"'R-" The wizard tried to call for his familiar.

"He's okay. He's in here, like the rest."

Douxie fought to not close his eyes.

Maybe he was exhausted, maybe it was the drugs, but he could not keep himself awake for more time.

Once the doctors were out of the room, and only the Trollhunter's mother and the familiar were in, they share a warm smile in silence. The beeps of the monitors and the numbers on the screen showed that Douxie was stable, and his heart race was normal.

"He is going to be fine." Barbara said petting the cat.

He is going to be fine.

====

"Douxie's body was rejecting the intubation" Barb explained to the team a couple of hours later.

"That's something bad?" Toby was afraid to ask, but nobody else had the courage to.

Instead of bad news, a smile grown on the woman's lips before she started talking again.

"Actually, it's completely the opposite, Tobias. When the body rejects the help of the breathing tube, is because it can do it alone, so the tube isn't helping anymore, and it's treated as an intruder. We kept the tube to compensate for the right lung collapse, Douxie's lungs needed help doing their work, but it seems that they are doing better know"

"So, he is fine now?" Steve questioned with hope.

Barbara shook his head "He is better, but he still needs time".

====

When Douxie woke up for the second time, two days after, the analgesics were almost done. The sheets of the bed, as his gown, had been changed, at least, and his low groans captured the attention of both medics that were talking in the room.

Barbara rushed to his side and took his hand. With her motherhood aura, she looked at him and asked:

"How are you feeling?".

It took a moment for to Douxie realize where he was, and still, he tried to sit up. A big mistake, because of the moment he moved, his chest ached like hell. With a low groan, he put a hand to the place that hurt while Barbara helped him to lie down.

"Easy," She said before he tried to straighten again. "You have 3 broken ribs and had a collapsed lung. You really scared the guys out there" The second doctor -a male that Douxie didn't even care to read his name- stayed on his place a few steps of the door.

Hisirdoux didn't even try to move anymore. Instead, he sighed and asked how the rest was doing. Barbara rolled her eyes before telling him "They are fine, they had already received medical assistance, no one else is hurt... bad hurt" she corrected herself, and told him that he has been asleep for almost six days.

Douxie did not know how to react.

On a hand, it was not the first time he slept for days after a fight. On the other, it was the first time that that happened to him after meeting the Guardians of Arcadia, and he hasn't had the opportunity to tell them that fact.

Douxie disconnected himself for a moment, thinking about that. Should he told the rest that it didn't matter and was a collateral effect of using a lot of his magic? Or- wait, had he used a lot of magic on the battle? He didn't remember.

Hisirdoux sank deeper into his thoughts before he realized it. It was something simple, almost imperceptible, but he tried to accommodate under the sheets. The problem was that he couldn't.

He looked at his feet.

Barbara notices that and removed her hand from Douxie's. The redhaired ma'am looked concerned to her companion, both medics shared a serious look. But Douxie didn't even realize it.

The wizard was still looking at the blanket, there was something off.

He tried to move his fingers, but nothing.

His feet, same.

Slowly the color of his face faded, and his breathing started cracking.

His hands became fists.

"Douxie..." Barbaria tried to start.

"I- I don't" Jim's mother's heartbreak with the boy's voice. "I don't feel my legs"

Hisirdoux looked at Barbara with fear and terror in his eyes, she could see his body shaking and his voice hung by a thread.

Barbara didn't knew how to told him. She was supposed to be the one that told him the truth, but at that moment, she couldn't do it. She tried to act professional, and serious, but she couldn't because in front of her eyes there were nothing more than a poor scared child with no family, holding his sobs and asking her for help, because he couldn't feel his legs.

"Hisirdoux" Dr. Velazques approached the bed. "You suffered a very complicated accident. You fell for over 100 feets, to a car's hood. On the impact, you broke 3 ribs that occasionated the lung collapse. Also, you have some other injuries caused by the same fall, like a twisted wrist, a slight concussion, and a fracture on your spinal discs."

"A fracture? So it is not broken?" Velazques nodded, a sigh of relief was expulsed by Douxie's mouth.

"Unfortunately-" The blue-haired man looked at the doctor again. "A fracture on that zone causes irremediable damage to the nervous system. Your spinal cord was compromised, and we had to make surgery to stabilize it."

"It is fine now, right?"

"After we embed metallic bars to your spine. Yeah."

"But, why I can't feel my-"

Barbara took Douxie's hand.

"I do not think that you are understanding. Hisirdoux, we can't fix the damage to the nervous system. Your legs, hips, everything from the L5-down is paralyzed. The fall had caused you something that we call Paraplegia"

"What?-" He squeezed her hand.

"Douxie-"

"Even with rehabilitation, there is no guarantee that you would be able to walk after". Hisirdoux's heart broke.

The wizard would never walk again.

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night-filled-mountain · 5 years ago

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Out of nowhere and apropos of nothing, a rambling incoherent list of things about Nott and Nott-and-Caleb that give me Feelings.

On Veth Brenatto/Nott the Brave:

Nott’s entire life is all about seeing/presenting herself as less than she is.

She was bullied as a child, by her brothers and the neighborhood boys.

Then she was a contented housewife and mother, but always saw herself as second to Yeza--a support figure, depending on him, learning from him, not even necessarily deserving of his love.

“Not pretty and not brave and not coordinated and not smart and just...not.”

“He didn’t mind my strangeness...He was a brilliant chemist. I helped him and he took care of me.”

(When she reunites with Yeza, she undermines her ‘dabblings’ in alchemy in comparison to his apparent brilliance.) (Yeza himself disagrees.)

When she does acknowledge her strengths, she also acknowledges their origins, and they are either very sad (“I’ve been chased a lot in my life by boys making fun of me. I’m pretty fast.”) or serve to highlight someone else’s assistance and forethought (“a vial of acid that Yeza handed me”).

The transformation she was forced to undergo was a curse straight out of a fairy tale. It made her what she thought she was, and forced her to appreciate what she had been, but it was too late. (“But you’re so pretty!” / “I was.”)

But her whole life is about other people turning her into things, isn’t it? The bullies made her a victim, Yeza made her a wife/mother/alchemist’s assistant, and the goblins and their mystery woman made her a monster.

She was someone beautiful who could not see her beauty, someone wildly unique and “strange” who could not embrace her strangeness and flaunt it without apology...

...Until she was turned into a goblin.

Being a goblin has been so weirdly freeing for Nott. She felt that she had hit rock bottom, and in many ways, she just...let go. No more struggling to fit into social norms. No more squeezing into boxes of other people’s making. The Nott we know has always fought and shrieked, drunk to excess, stolen anything she admired, openly shared all her most outrageous suggestions, shown off her weird collections without shame.

I’m not saying all of this is healthy! Some of it is clearly coping mechanisms, and dangerous ones at that. And Sam has stated that he sees some of her excesses as being related to her goblin physiology, which emphasizes once again that this role, like all of Nott/Veth’s previous roles, is one that was forced on her. But. But.

So much of it (I would even say that “all of it” is a valid interpretation) is really just...Veth. Just Veth dialed up to eleven, without the constraints. Is she embodying a stereotypical view of goblins, or is she just letting herself be angry, messy, hedonistic, and weird for the first time in a short, sad life in which other people made her smaller than she was until she learned to do the same thing to herself?

Nott wants her true body back. She wants to be a halfling again. But she is not at all sure she wants to “go back.” To Felderwin. To her old life with the husband and son she loves. Of course she isn’t sure.

Because she’s grown so much bigger than that. Bigger and stronger and louder and messier than anything she used to be. Bigger than all the boxes she used to occupy. Bigger than anything Yeza or Luc can quite understand, because they weren’t there by her side, watching it happen.

On Nott and Caleb:

Nott defines herself by the people around her. She always has.

She met Caleb in that jail cell, saw him as small and weak and needy, and jumped at the chance to occupy a familiar role again: mother.

...Except that it was never that simple. That’s the piece that, for me, was missing from their relationship for so long. The piece that fell into place when Nott’s (former?) crush on Caleb was revealed, and made it all fit together. It was never that simple.

She wanted something from him. Veth never seems to have dared to want things from the people around her--she lived to serve her loved ones, to help and protect them. But Caleb? She wanted his magic. She wanted him to help her. And she didn’t tell him, not for the longest time. Call it ruthless, call it manipulative, or just call it a very understandable cocktail of hope and panic and shame--but it was her goal, her desire, and it meant that no matter how much she cared for Caleb and protected him, their relationship was never All About Him. She was playing her own angle the whole time. And also...

She was attracted to him. This was a fact that she absolutely could not acknowledge, because it was transgressive in so many ways. Extramarital attraction. A hideous, monstrous goblin attracted to a “handsome” human. A lifelong sidekick/helpmate/bit player in her own life daring to want a “great wizard” not only for his magic (that, at least, was permissible, because it could return her to her proper place, to her home and family; it could restore the status quo), but for his body, mind, and soul. She looked at him in that cell, in the moonlight streaming through the bars, and she wanted. And gods know it wasn’t because he ever invited her to.

(Though he didn’t scorn the idea either. I keep thinking about the scene with Keg in Shadycreek Run where she mistook them for a romantic couple and Caleb defiantly rolled with it. I even think about that early episode where Liam inadvertently used a German term of endearment for her that had romantic connotations. And the way they always slept cuddled together, and she rode on his shoulders, and they have always, always celebrated every aspect of each other--body, mind, and soul.)

But the point is that Nott’s relationship with Caleb is not one that he defined. She was always the stronger of the two; she called the shots. It was she who chose to be his “mother,” and the twin secret desires that burned deep down in her heart were entirely her own.)

On Nott and character development (ok, I just wanted to break up the bullet points a little, because goodness, this has gotten long):

...And she fundamentally did not know how to handle that. So she kept those desires buried, kept them secret. She tried to move back into her comfort zone, letting others define her and her relationships, going along with their assumptions without protest.

It is fascinating to me that the other players and characters and the viewers spent much of the campaign assuming Nott was a child. And she just...let it happen.

“I’m of child-bearing age,” she said when Jester asked, but even then, some of us (myself included, I confess!) just mentally aged her up to a rebellious teen.

To a man who she regarded simultaneously as a son, a love interest, and a tool for her own redemption, she was seen as a daughter or a little sister...and she went along with it in so many ways. It’s the lie she embodied from the first moment Sam introduced her, and referred to her as “a little goblin girl.”

Nott has always made herself lesser than she is...or let other people do so. She is so used to being diminished and self-diminishing, so leery of her own messy desires, that she would not even insist on her own adulthood until...until.

Nott’s heroic moments--the moments when she fully unleashes her own courage and strength and anger--are always the moments when her loved ones are in danger. She is the classic self-sacrificing wife/mother figure, whose self-dimmed light only shines out when others need it to.

Like when she fought the goblins and helped Yeza and Luc escape.

Like when Fjord threatened Caleb, and the others were all turning on him, and she needed to assert her own right and ability to protect him. (“But I am the parent, you do realize that, don’t you?”)

Like when she led the lizardfolk away from the others on Urukaxl. Like all the times she dove into the water for Fjord. Like when she didn’t disengage from the dragon.

“Nott the Brave” has so many layers--an ironic, self-mocking epithet, a badge of honor, and a promise to be brave for others. Only for others.

Because then it’s not really her bravery, is it? It’s borrowed from her loved ones. She is a coward who is occasionally made into something else by the brighter, stronger, worthier people she surrounds herself with.

“Self-diminishing” and “being defined by others” are the absolute fundamental cornerstones of Nott’s character. And this is both reinforced and very much complicated by her recent status as a goblin and her relationship with Caleb. (...You know how sometimes you don’t figure out your thesis statement until halfway through the essay?)

On Nott and Caleb, part 2:

The M9′s trip to Felderwin changed everything--everything--for her and for him and for the two of them. It was one of the most staggering turning points of the entire campaign.

I’ve written about this before. How one of the central “Will they or won’t they?”s of the campaign was about Caleb and Nott deciding to trust the group, and that was the point where it was resolved...

...and how, in trusting the group, they sacrificed their codependence to a large degree. How Nott’s infamous “Fuck him!” was less about anger, in the long run, than about taking her best friend off the pedestal she’d put him on, about acknowledging his fallibility, and being comfortable openly disagreeing with him.

It was about Nott becoming her own person, and Caleb learning to see her as her own person, and not just his “little friend” or protector.

But. But. It still followed the pattern.

It was about Yeza and Luc. It was about her family. It was the greatest disaster that had befallen her loved ones since the goblin abduction, and her reaction was correspondingly big.

Of course she could be brave. Of course she could be angry and assertive. Of course she could, for once, discount the feelings of her beloved wizard. Because her husband and son were in danger.

When will Nott get to be brave on her own behalf? To be angry on her own behalf? To want, want, want something, something ever so much bigger than a button, openly, unashamedly, on her own behalf?

And I think I might know the answer to that question: When she openly acknowledges something that she has already hinted at, danced around, in conversations with Caleb here and there.

“I ditched my husband in a den of monsters to go adventuring with you.”

She said this to Caleb while they were riding a moorbounder together in Xhorhas, and something about it has resonated hard with me ever since.

That conversation--and the other couple of conversations Nott has had with Caleb that deal with her own conflicting desires--felt strangely like a failure. Like Caleb was sincerely doing his best to help her, but wasn’t quite getting what she was putting down.

He doesn’t know how to stop her drinking, her constant anxiety. How to soothe her fears about the future. He doesn’t know what she needs.

Is it reassurance of her family’s love? That’s been offered to her repeatedly, by Yeza, by Luc, by Caleb himself, but it’s never had much of an effect on her darker moods.

Is it her own body back? That would help a lot, for sure. Like every other member of the Mighty Nein, she’s on a journey to find herself. She thought, initially, that it was purely a journey to find something she’d lost. Caleb and the rest of the M9 think so too, I think. But there’s more to it than that.

What Nott Really Needs:

“I think you have to find those answers,” Caleb said to Nott as she expressed her ambivalence about returning home and resuming her housewife role. “Can’t you just tell me?” she pleaded.

That’s it right there, that’s the crux of her journey. And it isn’t just a journey back to a body or a family or a life she lost--it’s a journey to something entirely new. Nott craves the familiar, the safe, the known; she keeps trying to make herself small and unimportant again, to convince others to define her. But they can’t. She is too much, too big, too weird and messy and wonderful, for anyone else to squeeze her into a box anymore (she always was; she just didn’t realize it). And Caleb is the one to tell her that.

“I ditched my husband in a den of monsters to go adventuring with you.”

“I love you,” she told him on the beach of Nicodranas, and sure, she meant it platonically (probably) (mostly), but it was more than friendship, more even than romance. She loves what he represents. And--the one thing she can never, ever, ever acknowledge, because it is completely antithetical to her journey as she currently sees it--a part of her loves who she has become while traveling and fighting by his side.

“These days I’ve spent with you are the most exciting of my entire life.” That’s something Fjord said to Caleb once. And I’ve posted before about how eerily similar Fjord and Nott’s journeys are.

They both had rocky childhoods marred by bullying and badly bruised self-confidence, then embarked on simple, well-defined lives/careers in which they felt utterly content...and then they both literally drowned, both lost their friends/family/life roles in the process, and both got transformed into something “dark” and “ugly” that they couldn’t come back from.

And the clincher? The thing Fjord was able to admit to himself and others, but that Nott carried around like a deep, dark secret and is still struggling hard with to this day?

They both fell in love with their new lives and roles in spite of themselves.

Yes, Fjord renounced Uk’otoa in favor of the Wildmother...but he still retains his warlock powers. Yes, Nott wants to, can, and probably will be turned back into a halfling--but she will never again be a person who was not a goblin.

She does not want to be a person who was not a goblin.

She wants Caleb, and all he represents. She wants adventure and excitement. She wants to be strong and brave and important, not only to protect her loved ones, but because those things bring her fulfillment. Because they have shaped her self-image in new ways that she cannot discard.

The duality of her names reflects this perfectly. She always uses “Veth” around Yeza and Luc, and wants them to use it for her, but with the M9, she’s still “Nott the Brave”-- or is it “Nott, the Brave”?

Caleb uses both names for her.

Caleb. Uses. Both. Names. For her.

Nott needs to be herself. It’s what all the members of the Mighty Nein need, really--this is a campaign about identity, as Matt has said--but I think it’s coming harder to Nott than any of the others, and that’s why I’ve had such a hell of a time pinning her down as a character...because she has had a hell of a time doing that, too!

Because she can’t acknowledge what may be the greatest possible shame for a stereotypical girl, wife, mother, or monster...

Wanting to be herself. Wanting things simply because she wants them. Wanting to be someone you can’t pin down, either literally (in a cozy little cottage in Felderwin) or figuratively (in any of the aforementioned roles).

Nott wants to define herself. But she doesn’t quite know she wants it. And she doesn’t know how to do it. But part of her definitely sees that getting her body back, while essential, is not enough.

And so she panics and drinks and goes into existential tailspins because no one else will give her the answers. Caleb has come closest, in telling her to seek them for herself...but Caleb has his own baggage, and can’t quite let go of his great ideal of Family, of Going Home Again. Of turning back the clock and erasing the dark corners of one’s past.

So he sees Nott’s happy ending as husband and son, hearth and home. And it isn’t enough. It’s as tidy and false and messy and comfortless as his time-travel fantasies. And that’s where their stories ultimately intertwine...their desires at cross-purposes, their solutions at odds. Nott longing for something that Caleb is giving her (adventure, excitement, a purpose, the privilege to bear both her names and faces and diminish neither, to be fully herself for the first time in her life). Caleb wants something that was taken from both of them. Neither of them yet fully understands that you can’t go back, that the only direction is forward. Into greater messiness, greater complexity, greater understanding of themselves and the things they can accomplish, alone and together.

But they’re getting there. They’re both getting there. And I absolutely cannot wait to see where their stories lead.

#critical role #nott the brave #veth brenatto #caleb widogast #fjord #widobrave #in another world maybe #nott #veth #caleb #long post #incredibly unbelievably long post #what have i done

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blueorchidrp · 4 years ago

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LOOKING FOR NEW RP BUDDIES <3 [MXM || D/S THEMES || LITERATE]

Heya lovely people <3

(Brace yourselves, this is a long one! :D)

Recently, I've found myself in the mood to RP again after losing motivation during the beginning of the pandemic so I'm really hoping this ad will appeal to someone out there and I might find one or two new people to write with! :D

I'll go into detail about what I'm looking to RP in a second, but first of all, a little about me:

I'm female, 21+ and my time zone is GMT+1 (Central Europe). I'm an experienced writer and roleplayer of 10+ years. I exclusively write in 3rd person/past tense and would prefer for you to do the same.

English isn’t my first language but I’m pretty comfortable with it and I always try to keep mistakes to a minimum. Despite that, I hope you will excuse the occasional mistake! I would really prefer for you to have good spelling/grammar as well, but of course I’m not super pedantic about it and don’t mind typos from time to time. Nobody’s perfect, after all!

Usually I go for slower-paced RPs with longer replies since I'm not the fastest writer but recently I've really been in the mood for some faster-paced RPs and consequently, shorter replies. I usually aim for 300-1,500 words per reply but for this I would like to keep replies on the shorter side (at least on average and with no pressure from your side to conform to this, of course).

Obviously the length of the reply would still rely on what is happening in the RP - starters will naturally be longer than replies that heavily depend on how the other character will react.

I'm fine with having a short-term RP although I do enjoy plotting and also some occasional world-building (although admittedly I sometimes need a while to really pitch in with my ideas unless I'm already comfortable with my partners!) so long-term partners would be great!

I love chatting OOC, not only to discuss plot-related stuff but also to get to know who I am RPing with but it’s not mandatory and if you’d rather not that’s A-okay!

I prefer character-focused RPs, I’m not too good at writing action scenes and I tend to get bored of those rather quickly. I’d rather concentrate on my character’s feelings and his interactions with your character and focus on exploring their dynamic and thoughts.

I love conflict/tension in my RPs and I also love exploring more “philosophical” themes in them. I'm a huge fan of angst, (emotional) hurt & comfort, slow burn and similar genres but overall I do want an eventual happy ending. Occassional fluff is cute and more than fine as well, I just need some "meat" to the RP to keep me interested :D

Now, let’s go to what I’m craving the most right now:

I would very much like a RP that focuses on a (consensual) Dom/Sub relationship. I only do MxM pairings. I would prefer to play the dominant character for this.

I would prefer to involve at least some smut for this one (but we could also fade to black if preferred!) but overall I would really like to focus more on exploring the non-sexual aspects of the dynamic between our characters.

In general when it comes to smut, my characters tend to be switches who mainly top but if they do bottom they’re more along the lines of "power bottoms". In any case, they won’t just lie there and need your character to do all the work for them. (Obviously I can adjust that if you prefer to play the more dominant character)

For the D/s stuff I would ask that we discuss this more in depth in private, but in general I don't think I'm super kinky (I would rather not include too many "out there" ones) and my limits are pretty "standard" as well.

Broadly speaking my limits include: age play, bodily fluids, extreme kink/fetishes, mpreg, A/B/O, large age gaps, degradation.

Some key words of stuff I really enjoy (I'll try not to go overtly sexual):

- Devotion

- Obedience

- Praise Kink (!!)

- Collars/Leashes

- Kneeling

- Spanking

- Titles of Respect

- Terms of Endearment

- Begging

- ...

Some dynamics I enjoy (none of these are a must, of course! This is just to give you a general idea of what I might be looking for):

- the sub being a badass outside of the relationship and only being vulnerable around the dom

- the sub being physically stronger/bigger than the dom (!!!)

- the sub being rather shy/timid

- the dom being a little uncertain of what he wants in the beginning/needing to find himself as a dom

- also the dom in general also getting to be vulnerable

- the sub being super devoted/eager to please

- the sub taking care of the dom

- or: the dom taking care of the sub

- both being really in love with each other

These are the kinds of ideas I'd like to explore (Of course I'm also open to other scenarios/pairings as well, if you have something else in mind!):

Crime Boss x Right-Hand Man:

I'm really craving this one right now! I'm imaging this powerful mobster and his faithful right-hand man who is hopelessly devoted to his boss and willing to do whatever it takes to make sure his boss stays on top. I would prefer for the boss to be the dom and the right-hand man to be the sub.

Son of Crime Boss x Bodyguard:

Celebrity x Bodyguard:

For the first one I'm imagining that the son would be trying to make a name for himself and get out from under his father's thumb (and the bodyguard helping him). For the celebrity one I would imagine the celeb maybe being an actor or some sort of pop/rock star. I would prefer for the bodyguard to be the sub.

Royal x Servant, Royal x Knight:

This can be fantasy/historical (European/East Asian) or even modern. I'm imagining the servant/knight and the royal having been childhood friends and the servant/knight being raised with the knowledge that he would have to protect the royal once he grows up. I really enjoy the idea of one character swearing to serve another for the rest of his life. I would prefer for the knight/servant to be the sub and the royal to be the dom.

Elder Vampire x Fledgling Vampire:

Vampire x Human:

For the first one: Maybe the fledgling vampire was abandoned by his sire and the elder vampire finds him and decides to show him the ropes. For the second one: Maybe the human is a sort of ghoul (like from Vampire: the Masquerade) or human servant or maybe he's just someone the vampire stumbled across while out and about. I would prefer for the (elder) vampire to be the dom and the fledgling/human to be the sub here.

Best Friend x Best Friend:

I got the idea of these college-age guys that slowly discover that they like each other. Maybe they're childhood friends or maybe they've met in college. I’m happy to hear what ideas you might have for this pairing, of course, but a personal favourite of mine is to pair a more stoic (or even grumpy) leaner smart/sarcastic guy with a more jock-like/buff guy who is perpetually happy and optimistic who follows character A around and eventually endears himself to him through sheer persistence.

Soulmates:

I love exploring soulmate AUs, I’m a sucker for all variations of this trope but I’ve been thinking about an idea for a society that places each member of a bonded pair in one of two categories, and members of one category are treated as lesser in society/expected to serve their other half. For this I would definitely like to do some more world-building and really exploring the philosophy of this world as well! It would also be cool to have our character maybe fight against the expectations set by this society but I'm definitely open to other ideas as well!

Apart from that I enjoy a lot of different variations of the soulmate trope but my favourite is the classic idea that involves soulmates having a sort of mark on them that helps them identify who their partner is <3

Other:

Make a suggestion!

I don't have an pre-made OCs so I would come up with a character once we've decided on a plot but of course you can use whatever character you want! I usually don't use FC and just describe what I imagine my character to look like but if you can point me to some good FC ressources I would be willing to look for one if it's important to you! The ages of my characters depend on the plot/dynamic we're going for but they mostly tend to be around 20-45!

Fandoms: Harry Potter, Supernatural, Dragon Age, Detroit: Become Human, Vampires: the Masquerade, Marvel/Avengers, DC, Batman/Joker, Merlin (BBC), Shameless (US).

At the moment I really enjoy the pairing of Roman Sionis x Victor Zsasz (they're the inspiration for the Crime Boss x Right-Hand Man idea) so if anyone is up for that pairing as well, let me know! I also really enjoy the pairing Mickey x Ian (Gallavich) from the show Shameless, if anyone is interested in that one!).

I would prefer not to RP anything involving child abuse, underage characters in sexual situations, incest and similar themes. (I’m fine with these things being part of your character’s back story and your character dealing with the after-effects of them but I don’t want to actively RP them!).

I’m also exclusively looking for MxM pairings, so please don’t contact me if you’re looking for someone to RP a MxF plot with! And please be at least 18+. I don’t feel comfortable RPing with anyone younger, even if the RP doesn’t have any smut in it.

I mostly RP on Discord these days, but I'm also open to other mediums, mainly E-mail, tumblr or GoogleDocs!

I would prefer for you to already have a plot in mind (or at least a vague idea of what you want to roleplay) before contacting me!

Thank you for reading all of this! Have a great day & stay safe and healthy!

Contact:

Discord: blueorchid [hashtag] 8092

E-mail: blueorchid.roleplay [at] gmail [dot] com

Or message me here on tumblr! :D

#mxm #mxm roleplay #oc roleplay #oc #slash #roleplay #rp

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mudwingpropaganda · 4 years ago

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i dont know if you do background characters, but i feel like you are the right person to do my boy coconut justice. he's kinkajou's friend and is also at jma, and tui did him SO dirty... he's initially described as just being very tired and low-energy, but by winter's book he's the punching bag and joke and his described as being dumb with moon saying he has hardly anything going on in his head. i want him to have some justicebc i care him, so do u have any words on him

I planned on answering some other asks about tribes tonight, but the more I think about Coconut the more I want to talk about him!

I agree completely that, despite Tui very much trying to act like RainWings are more competent than the “lazy” stereotype Glory was assigned, she fully embraces that “laziness” title as a writing backup if she can’t think of any other reason for a character to be uninteresting enough as not to follow.

Anyway, I remember having an odd, specific attachment to Coconut. I can’t remember exactly why. Maybe there was just something I could cling to as a lethargic not-quite teen who couldn’t keep up with his relationships to quite register that his friend was missing. Well, maybe not that last part.

Coconut is a RainWing who fully embraced the comfort that his tribe celebrated. He learned early that there was little need to put very much effort into things. He avoided working in excess and wasting his energy if he wasn’t going to be praised for his efforts early on. He was somewhat of a RainWing prodigy. Learning quickly how to use his venom as safely as possible, being able to adjust his scales with acute accuracy, navigating the rainforest, identifying safe food to eat.... so he had little attention from adults because he didn’t need help, unlike the likes of Tamarin who was monitored and flocked to if she were to fall from the platforms again.

So Coconut passed time by sleeping, snacking, and occasionally finding out why adults warned him away from certain frogs or plants. Otherwise, what else was there to do?

So there was a delayed reaction when Kinkajou came flocking back to him, grey scales and hugging him with scarred limbs. And at the moment, he didn’t realize that she had even been gone. But it soon began to set in. And hard. How his friend was abandoned on hellish island waiting for him. The only dragon who would praise him for giving the extra effort, he let down. He lost track of time, lost track of his relationships, and left Kinkajou to be rescued by an outsider RainWing altogether! And there’s something weighing on him about that.

When he goes to Jade Mountain, he realizes quite quickly how “prodigy” from a RainWing’s mouth is much different from the standards of the other tribes. And the ambition he had left was crushed. Suddenly it wasn’t impressive how he could calculate the best times and places to get suntime when he couldn’t read or write. Suddenly conveying conversations with your scales’ emotions wasn’t that amazing when he couldn’t even recall his own tribe’s history.

Coconut resigned himself to the stereotype, thinking about what he was good at nearly constantly. Napping when he wished. Eating when he could.

But that isn’t to say there’s not more going on in his head, regardless of what Moonwatcher says. He just has never quite gotten to the point where he’s ready to resign himself to the guilt he started feeling for abandoning Kinkajou. Which would open the floodgates of the inner world whirring in his mind. Because he’s not dumb, he just lacks the motivation to follow his passion or ambitions. Because adults stopped paying attention to him quickly after he proved he could survive. Because his peers stopped playing with him for “being better than him.” Because other dragonets his age scold him for being foolish and slow.

But Coconut is full of opportunity. He takes much interest in his classes and is a quick learner like he was in his youth! Even if he has a short attention span. He clings onto subjects that he is interested in and as he learns to read at Jade Mountain, albeit slowly, he begins to pick up reading to pass time as well. Even if he often ends up rereading passages after zoning out, he finishes scrolls quickly. I feel like he would end up reading for fun even more so than the stereotypical nerds like Sora or Moonwatcher. Because he’s not running from the law or saving the world.

Coconut may not be a protagonist, but he’s certainly an interesting story to me. He’s not quite in tune with his own train of thought and relies on directions and instruction. He thrives with attention, I feel like and is certainly a wonderful friend to spend time with. He’s attempting to get his grasp with time and retaining his attention but sometimes that’s just how it be!

While I’m not quite sure what his ambitions are in particular, I feel like, with the positive attention from teachers (BESIDES the dumb ones we were given like Webs and such), Coconut could thrive and excel among his clawmates. Kinkajou and Coconut are still friends, I’m sure! I don’t know what she’s doing in Pantala at the moment, but when she returns, Coconut will be waiting with open arms this time. Ready to attempt to help her catch up on schoolwork (if that’s even possible). Maybe he travels with her when Kinkajou becomes a journalist or something? *I dunno noise!*

Where Kinkajou and Chameleons are examples and byproducts of the flawed RainWing society, Coconut is an example of an ideal RainWing facing the realities of the world and attempting to settle into a place where he can either prosper with the new information he can absorb, or lay down and accept the lethargic tradition of his tribe. And I think he’s ready to try impressing dragons besides the RainWings.

Anyway, I hope this is interesting for you! I never want to tarnish anyone’s favorite characters. I did my best with this lad. :>

---

Also, post-looking-at-the-wiki-Apologist here: Coconut’s clawmates with one of Clay’s siblings? And Coconut’s best friends with Marsh? I dunno, maybe they’re boyfriends or something. I didn’t remember Marsh existed, but sure, why not!

#Anonymous

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fanficimagery · 5 years ago

Text

Pull Me Closer

Summary: Imagine moving in across the street from Scotty Sire.

Words: 5.5K Warnings: Language. I adore Kristen with all my heart, but for the sake of this imagine were just going to pretend Scotty is single.

Moving states away felt like a breath of fresh air, especially after the passing of your last living grandparent. Things were tense, even more so after the reading of the will, and the three bedroom home in California was calling your name. The front and back yard was spacious enough for your dog, and the pool and hot tub out back were perfect for you.

Before the move you had your personal belongings and some furniture you couldn't live without shipped to your new home where the house's occasional caretaker put it in the house for you, and even ordered some stuff online from a nearby warehouse that delivered directly to the house. Thankfully the caretaker put everything in their respective rooms, and even had the pool and hot tub set up for your arrival.

So pulling up in your Jeep Wrangler with the windows rolled down, you park in the driveway and stare up at the three bedroom home that is now all yours. Reaching over into the passenger seat, you rub your hand over Rocko's back- your fully grown black and gray Great Dane.

"Welcome home, Rocko. Lets go check it out."

Rocko quietly woofs as you exit your Jeep, quickly rushing around to the passenger side to open the door for your dog. He jumps out, tail wagging as he immediately sets out to sniff the entire yard. You then make your way over to the mailbox where your house key is hidden, your attention being stolen by raucous laughter from across the street. There are a group of boys, a couple of them filming as others run around with paintball guns.

"Whoa. Check out that horse!" The exclamation makes you chuckle, you grinning when you see their attention is on Rocko who's now standing at the curb and staring at the boys with a slightly wagging tail.

You whistle and gain Rocko's immediate attention. "Lets go, boy. Inside!" As you start to make your way towards the house, Rocko leaps into action and follows after you. You push the key into the lock and the door opens easily. Sighing in content, you scratch Rocko between the ears. "Home sweet home, pup."

After scoping out the neighborhood and getting a feel for it, you finally find yourself comfortable enough to jog around in order to get some sort of cardio in. The kids around the block especially love it when you jog with Rocko in tow and you soon find yourself fitting in.

And even though you've been in your new place for about a week and a half, today's the day the neighbors across the street have finally made themselves known.

You and Rocko are walking up to your mailbox when two boys jog across the street. You feel messy and gross because you'd been running around with Rocko for quite some time, but the boys are all smiles. Rocko quietly woofs in excitement and you scratch him between his cropped ears.

"Whoa," the tanned, dark haired individual muses. Only then do you realize he's got a camera in hand. "He's intimidating up close."

"Don't worry. He's a sweetheart. Rocko's just excited because you're new." Both guys seem to ease up at that, the dark haired one stepping up to Rocko and petting him, taking video.

The silver haired, red beaded guy chuckles. "Sorry about him. He's easily excited by dogs. We, uh, we live next door and figured we'd finally come over and say hi. I'm Scott."

"And I'm Todd," Todd says distractedly, leaning down to kiss Rocko before moving back at the last second, laughing.

"Y/N. And nice to finally meet you guys. I think you're the only ones I hadn't met."

Scott sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. "Sorry about that. We're usually home, but our friend needed some content for his vlog so he flew us out to Vegas and-"

"And it's been a party non-stop," Todd says. "Good times."

You laugh softly. "Your friend vlogs?"

"We all do, but David's got more of a following than us."

"Oh. That's cool," you admit. "I, uh, I actually post videos too, but nothing crazy or as frequent as those famous Youtubers do."

"Oh yeah? What do you post?"

"I cover songs that I can vibe with." Todd immediately looks up, pointing the camera at you and Scott. "And I do unboxing videos of some of my fanmail. I love opening up sketchy mail."

"Look, guys," Todd says, "Scott's found his soulmate."

You snort and Scott faintly blushes, glancing at his friend and shaking his head. "Dude, shut up." Then he looks back at you, smile a little wider and a little nervous. "I sing too, but I mostly post videos of the stupid shit me and my friends get up to."

"Why do I get the feeling the shit you and your friends get up to is off the walls insane?"

"Because it is," Todd tells you. "David likes to shoot us with a paintball gun when we least expect it."

"What?"

"It's fine. We get paid, so it's all good."

You chuckle in disbelief. "If you say so. I'm going to have to look you guys up on Youtube now."

"Do it," Scott agrees. "Just look up David Dobrik. We're all tagged in his videos."

"I will." You rock back on the heels of your feet, whistling shortly to catch Rocko's attention. "Well it was good to finally meet you both. I should, uh, I need to shower and eat," you say while slowly backing up the sidewalk into your yard.

"Wait, what?" Todd says, looking up in a hurry. "That's it? We don't get a name in return to look you up on Youtube?"

You and Scott both laugh. "Just look up Halsey on twitter. She tweeted out my latest cover of her song Graveyard a couple weeks ago."

"Halsey tweeted you!" Todd practically shouts. "Shut the fuck up."

"I'm serious." You suddenly can't stop laughing at Todd's excitement, he pushing the camera into Scott's hands so he can take out his phone and get on Twitter. "And on that note," you say when you see the app open up, "I'm gonna go. I don't like seeing people hear me sing for the first time. It's awkward."

"If you ever need anything, we're right across the street," Scott says.

"Ditto. My door is always open," you return.

Telling Scott and Todd your door was always open was probably a mistake, but after the first week of Todd walking in without so much as a head's up, it quickly became the norm. Todd usually showed up, asked about your day, and then spent the rest of the time laying with Rocko. Scott, however, greeted Rocko and then spent the rest of his time with you talking about music.

And within that week, they learned you were a great cook, but couldn't bake to save your life, and unfortunately found out you walked around the house semi-nude. For some reason you were more embarrassed about Scott seeing you in a t-shirt and underwear than Todd, and then quickly realized it wasn't really a big deal to them. Well at least not to Todd, but he still took pleasure in teasing you and giggling like a little girl when Scott would get defensive on your behalf.

And after the boys realized your house was a no-pants zone more often than not, Todd found it okay to strip down to his briefs when he needed a nap, Scott sometimes doing the same after sheepishly smiling and cuddling up with Rocko.

- X - X - X - X - X -

You're unloading box after box in your driveway, your fan mail having arrived at your new address. Several of the boxes are rather heavy and you're unsure about how exactly you're going to get them inside, but a voice shouting from across the street makes you sigh in relief.

"Need some help?"

You turn around, shielding the sun from your eyes, and wave over Scott. "Yes, please!"

Scott jogs across the street, Todd following at a slower place with three other guys. But from binge watching numerous Youtube videos, you realize it's David, Zane, and Heath.

When Scott gets a glimpse at all the boxes up close, he grins. "Went a bit crazy shopping online, did you?"

"No." You huff a laugh. "It's mail from all my subscribers."

"Mail?" Todd asks, slinging an arm around your shoulders in greeting and pulling you into his side. "Does that mean you're going to make an unboxing video soon?"

"Yeah. Today."

"Sweet. I'm sticking around for that." You shrug, chuckling as Scott rolls his eyes. "By the way, meet our other friends. This is David, Heath, and Zane. Boys, this is Y/N."

"Oh hey! You're the singer," David muses, camera in hand. "Is this cool?" He then quickly asks, gesturing to his camera. "You're really good, by the way."

"Thank you and yes." You blush and Todd pinches your cheeks as he mockingly coos at you. He pinches a little too hard and you retaliate by shoving him off of you and punching him as his friends laugh. Scott then brings you into his side when Todd starts poking at you and you practically melt against him. "I've recently starting watching your guys' videos and can I just say that y'all are fuckin' wild?! Holy shit!"

"Ooh, girl," Heath then says. "That cover you did on Sam Smith's Stay With Me gave me the chills. My girlfriend Mariah is in love with your voice."

"I really liked Bad Liar by Imagine Dragons," Todd grins.

You laugh. "You guys really did go through my videos, huh."

"Duh." David giggles. "Scott and Todd couldn't shut up about you, so we had to look you up."

"Oh god."

"Mhm," Zane hums, cracking up a moment later when he can't take himself seriously. "Is it true our boys walked in on you in your underwear?"

"Jesus Christ. Did you guys really have to tell them that?"

Scott squeezes your shoulders. "Don't blame me. That was all Toddy."

Rolling your eyes, you let the smile continue to grace your lips to let the guys know you're not really upset about it. "To be fair, it was a Calvin Klein sports bra and boy short underwear. I also had a flannel shirt on, but it was left unbuttoned, and I never know when Todd is just going to barge in. It really wasn't that big of a deal. I was more startled than anything else."

"So let me get this straight," Zane says, glancing between you and Todd. "Todd saw you practically naked and he didn't try to hump you?"

You snort and then shake your head. "Nope."

"Baby!" Heath then coos at Todd, he and Zane sandwiching their friend in a hug. "You're growing up." You all laugh, David capturing it all on his camera.

"Well if you four are done," Scott says, "Y/N needed our help. Let's get this inside for her."

David's the only one who doesn't help, he being reluctant to put down his camera. You understand, even if his friends give him grief for it. "By the way, guys, don't mind Rocko. He's a gentle giant."

"Rocko?" Heath wonders.

David opens the door for all of you, he cursing quite loudly as Rocko lets out the deepest woof in his arsenal. You, Scott, and Todd all laugh.

"Rocko, my man." Todd enters, setting down his box before being distracted by your dog.

"I swear Todd only visits to eat my food or play with Rocko," you say.

When the guys all notice your set up in the living room and find out you do unboxing videos of your fan mail, they all ask to stick around. You don't mind the company, so you let them, even letting David continue to video for some content he can use in his own vlog.

Once everyone is settled, it's only you, Scott, and Zane in the actual shot. Heath and David sit off the sides, but close enough to be caught in frame should they want to be, and Todd sits behind the camera as he lounges with Rocko who's resting his head on the boy.

Your fan mail is nothing spectacular, the items ranging from band tees to posters to fan art of you and Rocko. And after each box is opened, you make sure to thank the person who sent it by giving them a shout-out. There are also boxes of snacks, which Heath and Zane seem really excited for, and you treat them to your favorites. There are some specialty candy that's only made in Texas that you make the boys all eat, but only Scott seems fond of the cherry flavored gummies that are covered in chili powder. The other snacks from Texas come from a store named Buc-ee's, and David, Heath, and Zane become quite fond of the Beaver Nuggets.

More mail is opened and you laugh as you open several packages just meant for Rocko- toys, treats, and even shirts made specifically for your Great Dane.

"We are seriously going to have to plan a trip to Texas just for Beaver Nuggets," David says, popping yet another caramel-coated, crunchy puff corn into his mouth.

"See. They're good, right?"

"Mhm." He eats a few more before asking, "So, Y/N, what's the weirdest thing you've ever received?"

You immediately blush and the guys all perk up. "Oh this is gonna be good," Todd muses.

"Fuck you." The guys all laugh and you sigh when you realize they're awaiting an answer. "Just.. hold on." You shoot a quick outro clip, thanking everyone for the mail and that you'd have a new song cover coming soon. Just as you're saying goodbye, the boys all squeeze in and wave at the camera. Laughing, you tell Todd to cut the camera off and then tell them what they want to hear. "So the weirdest thing I received was a box full of lingerie and sex toys."

"WHAT?!" Heath nearly shouts, Zane giggling at his side.

"And what's weird is that guy had my size down perfectly. Like if I had tried the lingerie on, it'd have fit."

Scott quirks an eyebrow at you. "If?"

"Yeah. There we no tags on the underwear and all the sex toys were out of their packaging. It was super sketchy!"

The guys all laugh at your grossed out expression. David leans forward, camera nearly in your face. "Now I think the question is, is would you have kept the sex toys had they been in their proper packaging?"

The room goes oddly silent. "Well.."

"You hesitated!" Todd screams, cackling.

You grab a pillow, chunking it at him. "A girl has her needs, you dick! But still, I don't know. Sex toys from a fan is still super weird."

"Baby," Heath coos, "lingerie from a fan is weird. Sex toys is crossing a line."

You nod in agreement and eventually get up to head to the kitchen. The boys all follow as you start bringing out food to eat, and Zane's whistle of appreciation catches your attention.

He's looking out into the back yard, David and Heath by his side. "No offense," Zane starts, "but how are you affording a place like this?"

You chuckle as you scoop some ice cream into a bowl. "It's been in the family for quite a while. I actually inherited it last month when my grandfather passed." The guys go quiet and you glance at them, smiling as they suddenly seem uneasy. "It's okay. My grandfather lived here up until his wife passed away. He moved closer to his family where he then proceeded to lose both his children. When my mom died, I was his only grandchild who continued to have anything to do with him and even moved him in with me when he got sick. I didn't even know this place existed until the reading of the will where he left me everything- this house and his money."

"Damn. I bet everyone else was pissed," Heath says.

"Yep. Hence the reason I'm here now. I got tired of listening to them belittle me, so I packed up myself and Rocko, and here we are."

"Well they sound like assholes," David tells you. "And I, for one, am glad you're here. Scotty is too."

"Dude."

Scott's sudden look of disbelief at his friend sends you into a bout of laughter, you holding your hands up when he nudges you in retaliation. Scott purses his lips to keep from laughing and you quickly wink at him before picking up your bowl of ice cream and moving on.

"Don't pretend I can't hear you," you say while hip checking Zane out of the doorway from where he was muttering something to Todd. "I saw the dry ice video. You guys are not fucking up my pool."

"No, but Y/N, just hear us out..!"

Weeks soon turned into months and you can't believe how much Scott and Todd have changed your life. Scott was a little tamer than Todd, which is probably why you were more drawn to him, but the boys were still wild. You had thought you kept the teeny tiny crush you developed on Scott under wraps pretty good, but when you were eventually introduced to the rest of their friends, Todd made sure the guys knew you were off limits less they wanted to step on Scott's toes. And because you were clearly holding out for their friend.

The girls were just stoked to have another female in the group, and you found yourself being asked on shopping trips and to attend hang out sessions more times than you ever were asked back in your hometown.

You went out with the entire group a total of two times when Scott asked you and you found they were just as crazy as they were in their videos. The first time you kept yourself limited to two drinks in order not to get out of hand, but the second time you were encouraged to let loose. Needless to say, your new friends saw you being a hot mess and you knew you'd never live it down. You had become Zane's favorite drinking buddy, right next to Heath.

But tonight is a night of peace and quiet, you staying in with Rocko and quietly celebrating your birthdays. And since you're not that fond of cake, you had found a bakery that was dedicated to making cakes for pets and ordered one for Rocko. Then once the sun has gone down, you get the cake out of the refrigerator and place four sparklers around the cake. You quickly tug a party hat on over your head and manage to get one on Rocko without him pawing it off, and then light the sparklers before grabbing a bottle of wine in your other hand. After quickly posing for a picture, you blow out the sparklers, take them out, and let Rocko devour his cake.

Once you've got yourself a glass of wine poured and have made yourself comfortable on the couch with some of your favorite movies queued up, you post the picture to your Instagram with the caption: Happy birthday to us! For the last four years, I've been honored to share my birthday with Rocko. All I need for this special day is the love of my fur baby.

Along with the picture of you and Rocko, and his cake, you post another picture with it that's of Rocko laying his head on your lap. After posting, you set your phone aside and settle in to watch movies.

- X - X - X - X - X -

You're in the middle of Jeepers Creepers when your doorbell rings, you startling and then shushing Rocko when you startled him as well. Pressing pause on your movie, you get up to go answer the door. And when you swing it open, you're met with Scott's beaming smile and two cupcakes in hand- one cupcake with a lit candle shoved in it and the other with a dog treat shoved in it.

"Scotty," you chuckle, immediately melting and leaning bashfully against your door.

"Happy birthday, Y/N." He then leans his head in through the doorway, saying, "Happy birthday, Rocko!", to which Rocko woofs in response.

"What are you doing? I thought you were filming at David's tonight?"

"My bit was over with about ten minutes after I had gotten there," he says. "Now come on. Make a wish and blow out your candle."

You can't stop smiling, but you do as you're told. You stare at the flickering flame, make a wish, and then blow it out. Scott mock cheers. "Thank you. I've got beer in the fridge and Jeepers Creepers on TV if you want to stick around."

"Sounds like a plan."

After gesturing him inside, you huff a quiet laugh as he readily kicks off his shoes. As you head for the kitchen, you hear him call out to Rocko and feed your dog his own treat. You then return with a beer for Scott and another glass of wine for yourself, and take a seat on the other side of Rocko since he had snuggled up to Scott himself.

Ten minutes into the movie, you can't help but look at Scott again. He meets your gaze and grins, light from the TV reflecting off his nose ring. "I'm really glad you came, Scotty."

"Yeah? Me too."

Nearing the end of Jeepers Creepers 2, you can't help but take a quick picture of Scott and Rocko as they sleep on the couch. You have no idea how Scott is able to take so much of Rocko's weight on his arm, but he does and he looks quite adorable.

The picture gets posted straight away with the caption: I take back my earlier statement. All I need on this special day are my two favorite boys [heart eyes emoji] #WeakInTheKnees

You're floating in the middle of your pool, Rocko lounging on his own float not too far away as music fills the back yard from a portable speaker sitting on a nearby table. Your hands lazily sweep through the water at your sides to keep your float moving, and your eyes flutter open at the sound of a cat-calling whistle.

David stands at the edge of your pool, camera in hand and pointed directly at you with Jeff and Todd at his sides. Raising your hand, you flip off David's camera and then laugh when you hear Jeff say, "Man, Nerf is never allowed here. He'd be so jealous of Rocko's life."

"One of these days, Wittek, I'm gonna kidnap your dog and hold him hostage for a couple days. He ain't ever gonna wanna go back home to you."

"Keep dreaming, Y/L/N."

Todd suddenly whoops as he strips off his shirt, jumping into the pool a moment later. David laughs and when Todd doesn't immediately resurface, dread fills your stomach. David is still giggling and before you can say anything, you're yelping as your float is upended and you're rolling into the water.

Resurfacing and spluttering on water, you splash Todd's laughing face. "You're a dick, Toddy."

"You love me."

"Fuck off."

"Well not as much as you love Scotty."

David and Jeff laugh, and you splash him again. "Will you stop saying I'm in love with him?"

"Why? It's true. You're both just too goddamn oblivious to notice it."

"Oh I notice it," you say as you continue to tread water. "We're just- we can't escape the tip-toeing stage."

"Well escape it," Jeff says. "The sexual tension is killing us."

"God I hate you guys sometimes." Swimming over to the edge of the pool, you accept Jeff's helping hand. Then sitting on the ledge and accepting the towel David passes over, you ask, "So what's up?"

"Scotty's birthday is coming up. We need ideas," Todd says. He swims over, pulling himself out of the water and sitting next to you.

"Well I would offer up my pool, but I've seen how out of hand your parties tend to get. I don't want you to break my house," you say, chuckling.

David opens his mouth to deny the statement, but then shrugs and giggles. "Yeah."

You take a moment to think about it, clicking your tongue on the roof of your mouth. "What are you guys doing for music?"

"Not sure yet. Shouldn't be too hard to find a decent DJ."

"I think I might know someone. Someone pass me my phone." Jeff looks around until he spots it, grabbing it and giving it to you. You bring up your text messages, shooting off a series of texts back to back. "I'm not sure they'll agree, but if they do-"

"Who's they?" David asks.

"Some friends I knew from before they blew up," you say. Your phone dings and you read the texts coming through, smiling. "So my friends are actually in town for a few weeks. They're down to DJ and perform a bit of live music if you want them."

"Well who are they?" Todd wonders.

"If I tell you, not a word of this to anyone. Clear?" All three boys nod. "I know them as Alex and Drew, but they're more famously known as the Chainsmokers."

"Shut the fuck up," David immediately blurts. Todd and Jeff laugh. "Are you serious right now?"

"Yeah." You pull up the texts, showing them to your friends. "They're down to party. They like to surprise people so they'll probably wear masks or something and play some remixes. Then when things really get going, they'll go live."

"Holy shit." Todd is still laughing. "This party is gonna be dope!"

"Now I'm kind of jealous," Jeff chuckles. "Why couldn't you be my neighbor first?"

You scoop up some water in your hand and fling it over your shoulder. "Shut up." Then looking back at David and Todd, you say, "They'll need a stage to set up their shit. Is that do-able?"

"Uh yeah!" David nods.

"Cool. I'll help you plan some more later, but now I need some ideas. What is a good birthday present?"

"Sex."

"David!" Todd and Jeff laugh, and you attempt to splash water at David. He easily sidesteps it. "I'm serious"

Todd smiles. "Honestly? Sing for him. You know he's been wanting to hear you sing live instead of watching your videos."

"Ugh. I rather seduce him." David high fives you and you laugh directly into his camera. "If you put that in the vlog, I'm gonna drown you, Dobrik."

A week and a half later, it's Scott's birthday. Todd has managed to keep him busy all day, but not after you walked across the street to deliver him a birthday cupcake. Scott had beamed when he saw you, and then hugged you and pressed a kiss to your temple as Todd cooed from around the corner.

You had then proceeded to set up all day, laughing at everyone's reactions when Alex and Drew showed up to set up their area with turntables, lights, fog machines, and a few confetti cannons. You only expected some lights and music, so you thanked them profusely for going all out to which they assured you only the best for the guy who apparently held a special place in your heart. You had blushed that they picked up on that and then sighed when David, Natalie, and Zane overheard and continued to tease you throughout the entire day.

You got ready with all the girls at David's and then arrived at the small warehouse where the party was to take place. Alex and Drew wore light-up masks to conceal their identity until later in the party, and the guests started to show up by the carload.

Scott's started texting you about ten minutes ago, skeptical of Todd's motives and vague answers of where they were driving to. You had anticipated that, so you took a few selfies at your house and at David's beforehand to send to him so he wouldn't suspect you were in on anything. It worked.

You get anxious when you realize Scott and Todd have finally arrived, and the whole crowd of guests go silent. As planned, Todd enters first because there was no way Scott was going to when Todd didn't answer his questions, so it's only after Todd ducks out of the way do the lights flick on and everyone shouts Surprise!

Confetti rains down, and horns and sirens blare. Scott is beaming, hugging all his friends who are the front of the group. When he gets to you, he points an accusing finger in your face before wrapping you up in a hug. You laugh and squeeze your arms around his waist until he lets you go.

You're about to hang back as everyone crowds him, but he grabs your hand and the smile he flashes you has your stomach turning. He squeezes your hand and tugs you closer to his side, and you get the feeling that he doesn't want you to wander off too far from him.

The music is a hit with the crowd, as you expected, and Scott seems to be having a good time. The alcohol is flowing, David is directing bits here and there for the vlog, and everyone is having a good time on the dance floor. But soon enough a cake is being wheeled out and the entire crowd is singing happy birthday. Scott is bashful through the whole thing, he blowing out the candles and dodging the first handful of cake that Todd attempts to smash in his face.

"Alright, alright, alright," Alex says from behind his mask. "You guys throw an insane party, but let's kick things up a notch." The crowd cheers as horns blare over the speakers, but you can see the confusion in numerous faces. The masks finally come off and the crowd erupts louder. Scott's eyes widen and he looks at you in surprise. "We are the Chainsmokers and thank you guys for coming out to Scotty's birthday bash."

The music restarts, fog and confetti blasting as the music comes back on.

"Who the fuck got the Chainsmokers?" Scotty asks.

Everyone looks at you and you shrug. "They're friends of mine. I cashed in a favor."

Scott's eyes sparkle. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet, babe. The night is still young."

- X - X - X - X - X -

The crowd is still hyped an hour after Alex and Drew had lifted off their masks, and then they're even more hyped when they realize the Chainsmokers are performing live. You, Scotty, David, Toddy, Natalie, Jeff, Heath, Zane, and Mariah are up on stage, and when the song switches to something a little slower Toddy looks at you expectantly. You wink, but make no move as your friend starts to perform the beginning of their hit song Closer. You can see Mariah lip syncing to Heath and you move to the beat next to Scotty, making him dance with you along to the lyrics. He obliges you, chuckling in amusement, and then pulling you closer to him when the beat drops.

Moments later, a microphone is pressed into your hand and you fight off a smirk when you see Scott's eyes widen as you bring the microphone up to your mouth, leading him towards the middle of the stage. "You look as good as the day I met you. I forgot just why I left you; I was insane."

Todd and Zane scream off to the side, holding onto one another. David records the entire thing and you can see your friends from the corner of your eyes as they get hyped up over you serenading Scotty.

"So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover that I know you can't afford. Bite that tattoo on your shoulder." You mock bite at his shoulder and Scott laughs. "Pull the sheets right off the corner of the mattress that you stole from your roommate back in Boulder. We ain't ever getting older."

The beat drops and you're all set to start dancing, but Scotty surprises you. He grabs you by the back of your neck, reels you in, and presses his mouth against yours. Your friends, plus the crowd who you hardly even know, all erupt louder in excitement. Your left hand grasps onto his hip, the other still gripping tight to the microphone. Lights are flashing, confetti is raining down, and you pull back from Scotty to see his bright eyes shining down on you.

Heart pumping furiously, you bring the microphone back up to your mouth to sing, "We ain't ever getting older!" The beat drops yet again and this time it's you who brings him down into a kiss.

Scotty laughing against your mouth sends you into a fit of giggles, and when you eventually pull apart because of all the jostling your friends are doing, he keeps you close enough to mutter, "Best birthday ever," in your ear.

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